#and the others people who give life in the Series
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thankskenpenders · 2 days ago
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Today we got some news regarding a big change for the Ian Flynn's Q&A podcast, the BumbleKast. As outlined in a blog post by Ian, starting in 2025, all Sonic-related questions submitted to the show will first need to be screened by Sega. (I have to assume this is also why Ian announced they'll no longer be doing live Q&As starting next year.)
Frankly, I can't say this is particularly surprising.
While the BumbleKast is ostensibly a podcast about Ian's work as a freelance writer for all sorts of things, and also just a place for him to shoot the shit about stuff he likes, he's still predominantly seen as The Sonic Guy. Sure, he also does a bunch of other freelance work for other series, and original comics like Drogune, and he's also the narrative mastermind for the whole Rivals of Aether franchise these days, but it's his insights into what goes on behind the scenes with Sonic that people really care about. Your average Sonic fan can't just go up to Iizuka or whoever and ask him a question about the current state of the lore, but Ian's inbox is always open.
Because of this, I've thought a lot about the BumbleKast's place in the fandom and The Discourse in recent years. Ian wants to be as open and honest as he can about his work, and I think that's admirable. To me, hearing about creators' struggles and the shit they go through just to get a story out the door tends to make me sympathize with them more. Sometimes a story just doesn't turn out as well as you'd hoped, but you're on a tight deadline and all you can do is move on to the next project. I've even softened a bit on Penders over the years as he's shared more about the absurd situations and odd creative demands made behind the scenes at Archie. Unfortunately, not everyone has that mindset.
Ian's basically always had obsessive haters who were eager to take everything he says out of context to try and stir up shit, but that used to be contained by the niche nature of the Archie comics. Most of the fandom didn't give a shit about what Ian was doing with Sonic and Sally's love life or whatever. Most of the fandom wasn't even reading those comics. But Ian's gone from being a writer for a non-canon spinoff comic, to being the initial lead writer for the first ever canon Sonic comic series, to being the new main writer for the games themselves as part of the official Sonic Lore Team. Way more Sonic fans care about his work now, and when he's so open about his work that makes him an easy scapegoat.
It feels like damn near every week on Twitter Ian's personal trolls have posted yet another BumbleKast clip out of context to rile up the fandom and make it look like he has no idea what he's talking about or like he has some kind of agenda. And, unfortunately, people often fall for this. Of course, it also goes the other way, with people more sympathetic towards Ian taking things he says about Sega and framing them as proof that Sega has no idea what they're doing with the brand. Which, well, let's be real, isn't always the most unreasonable thing to think, given Sonic's rocky history. But I'm surprised it took this long for Sega to start paying more attention to what gets said on the BumbleKast when fans use it so regularly as a source of drama.
I've also often felt that they just need to be WAY more selective about what messages they respond to on the show. Questions Ian can't actually answer due to NDAs, questions that are borderline incomprehensible, "questions" that are really just fan ideas. And the haters, oh, the haters. Ian does not need to put up with angry rants about how he should make SonAmy canon or what the fuck ever. Even if Ian's willing to put up with it, as a listener it can make the show just super unpleasant at times when someone aggressive pops up with an inflammatory question. There have been entire BumbleKast Mini episodes I had to skip because they were just obsessive critics of Ian's paying to grill him on a dozen different things and treat him like an idiot.
But at the same time, I get why the show got to be this way. It's become a part-time job for Ian with multiple new episode a week. Given how piss poor the pay tends to be for freelance writers, I can't really blame him for wanting to keep this secondary stream of income open, and to not have to refund people left and right for rejecting their questions. The man's got bills to pay. (And so does Kyle, for whom managing the BumbleKast seems to have become a full-time job.)
I dunno. The man's got the patience of a fucking saint. I would've quit the franchise if I was in his shoes, with people wishing he would die for shit like minor disagreements over Sonic's characterization or him misremembering an obscure old lore thing. While I do hope that Sega doesn't keep too tight of a leash on him moving forward, and I hope that he's still able to speak his mind about his work, part of me also hopes that having to be much more selective about Sonic questions results in less bullshit like this.
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ginnsbaker · 3 days ago
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All Of Your Pieces (3 - The Neighbor)
Chapter Summary: Agnes sees the perfect opportunity to stir up some trouble while Wanda deals with her jealousy toward your work assistant, Geraldine. Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Female Reader Chapter word count: 2.8k+ | Chapter Tags/Warnings: None
A/N: I really have nothing to say except that I enjoyed writing Agatha in this chapter // More author's notes here.
Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist
The team has been at a standstill, figuring out who’s behind this, or how to communicate with anyone trapped inside the town. Every drone they've sent in morphs into something entirely different, thwarting their efforts to gather any useful intel. The people sent underground to scout a safe route through have gone dark, their communication cut off. No one else volunteered to attempt approaching the perimeter after that.
The broadcasts they've been tracking are erratic, cutting out for hours with no warning, making it hard to keep a consistent eye on the town's odd behaviors. But it's during one of these quiet periods when something clicks in Darcy's mind.
“I think I have something,” Darcy blurts out to Jimmy. They’ve been scraping the bottom of the barrel, running out of faces to identify from the snippets of life in Westview they caught on screen. 
“Yeah?” Jimmy gives her a tired look, only half-listening. He can't remember the last time he managed more than an hour of uninterrupted sleep. Even if he could find the time to rest, the bizarre situation they're in won't let his mind relax. 
Darcy sighs and leads him outside the tent.
“So, you’ve seen that radio on Wanda’s kitchen counter, right?”
Jimmy only nods.
Darcy continues, “The next time she’s washing dishes, or whatever—which by my count—happens about once an episode, barf, we’ll shoot a signal to that little guy.” She leads him to a set of computers set up behind a pickup truck. Jimmy doesn’t understand what’s going on with these systems, but he’s hoping Darcy really is onto something.
“This transmitter will mimic the frequency of the broadcast,” she pauses to catch her breath in the cold and to give him time to catch up with her science. “And if my theory is right, it will allow us to speak to her.”
She cuts off any chance for Jimmy to comment and assures him, “This is definitely going to work.”
The annual Westview Harvest Festival is in full swing. The town square is packed with booths overflowing with baked goods and fresh fall produce. A small stage is set up for the local band playing tunes from the 70s, while kids dart around in all directions, their faces painted with fanciful designs. Billy and Tommy are with their preschool teachers, who are keeping them and other children their age occupied with arts and crafts that involve tumbleweeds—a material no one seems to think is entirely safe for five-year-olds to play with.
In hindsight, it’s the ideal setting for introductions and mingling. However, everyone here already knows each other—everyone, that is, except for Wanda. She makes an effort to blend in, but apart from a few interactions with the planning committee, which weren’t particularly fruitful, she often remains secluded at home. This makes you, the only one in the household who heads out daily for work, the more socially connected of the two. It’s both amusing and slightly anxiety-inducing to watch you interact with the townsfolk who are essentially strangers to you and to Wanda, if only you knew. You and Wanda never had the opportunity to live a normal life, to settle in a typical city, surrounded by neighbors who could have become integral to the life you might have built together. 
Seeing you interact with these people, she’s realizing it’s harder than she thought to share you with others. Or maybe she’s just as selfish as she’s always been, never really outgrowing it. When you were both part of the Avengers, it was like living in a bubble, surrounded by only a few familiar faces every day. Now, outside that controlled environment, it’s challenging her expectations and stirring up feelings she thought she had under control.
It becomes particularly tough when she sees Geraldine heading towards you, sporting that perpetual, dazzling smile full of perfect white teeth. Wanda's fingers curl into a fist, tiny wisps of red energy leaking from them. You quickly cover her hand with yours, and the effect is immediate—she relaxes slightly, letting you intertwine your fingers with hers, anchoring herself by your side where she feels secure.
“It's so nice to see you outside of the office, just being one of us for a change,” Geraldine says, though she seems to be wearing the same uniform as at work. Not that you're judging, but it does make you wonder why she hasn't changed.
“Definitely beats being stuck behind a desk,” you reply, your attention briefly wandering. Only then do you notice that Wanda has subtly withdrawn her hand from yours, now exploring a booth with homemade apple cider. You hadn't even noticed the exact moment she let go.
“Hello, Wanda!” Geraldine greets her warmly. 
Wanda musters a tight-lipped smile that’s convincing enough, as Geraldine appears quite taken with it. Just then, Geraldine spots Agnes standing a little away from the crowd, lingering behind Wanda with a look that borders on suspicion or disdain. 
Geraldine steps up to her while Wanda continues to busy herself with whatever else is being showcased in the booth. “Hi, I'm Geraldine. Isn’t this a wonderful evening?” She extends her hand to Agnes.
Agnes eyes the offered hand but doesn’t accept it. Instead, she sizes up Geraldine with a quick once-over and nods, foregoing any introductions. Geraldine's smile falters briefly, but she quickly shakes off the slight, tossing a brisk, “See you around, Y/N!” over her shoulder as she heads back to her table.
You wave back and let out a sigh, relieved that you’ve just sidestepped what could have been the most awkward moment of your life. Wanda’s jealousy towards Geraldine seems more serious than you’d realized. You know Wanda can be possessive; it's just been a long time since it's manifested this way. But then, it's also been a while since you've both been in a crowd of strangers like this. Since…
Since when, exactly?
“Y/N, honey?” Wanda’s voice snaps you out of your fog.
You blink. “Hm?”
“I’m thirsty.”
Just like that, you’ve forgotten about your lapse of memory, replaced by a desire to tend to your wife's needs.
“I’ll get us some refreshments. What would you like?” you ask.
“Just some water, please.”
“Water here, too,” Agnes calls out, unsolicited. 
You suppress the urge to roll your eyes. It's great that Wanda's making friends in the neighborhood, but did it really have to be Agnes O’Connor? Ever since you and Wanda moved into this quiet suburb, Agnes has made it her personal mission to be involved in every aspect of your lives. You can’t shake the feeling that there’s more to it than the apparent nosiness of your neighbor.
As you head over to get the drinks, Agnes sidles up to Wanda, her eyes gleaming with an opportunity to stir some pot. 
“Geraldine seems quite taken with your wife.”
It’s not like Wanda doesn’t know what Agnes’s doing, but she finds herself nodding in agreement anyway. Your new assistant does appear smitten with you, and while Wanda gets the appeal—you are, undeniably, crush-worthy—she can't say she's thrilled about it.
“Y/N is her boss,” Wanda murmurs, more to herself than to Agnes.
“Oh, honey,” Agnes laughs condescendingly. “Do you even go to the movies? That's how the steamiest affairs start, you know.”
Wanda bristles at the sound of that endearment from someone other than you. But she keeps herself together—barely. 
“I trust her,” Wanda forces out.
As you're getting drinks, Geraldine joins you, picking up a soda herself. She lets out a light laugh at a joke from the bartender, and you find yourself chuckling too, oblivious to the piercing look your wife is drilling into your back.
Meanwhile, Agnes sees her opening and swoops in, linking her arm through Wanda's with a bit more force than necessary. 
“Of course, you trust her, dear,” she murmurs right by Wanda's ear. “But do you trust her?” She points subtly with her chin towards Geraldine, her lips pursed. “You know what they say, keep your friends close, and your enemies closer…”
Wanda's shoulders tense, her entire frame stiffening. As you return with the drinks, Agnes steps away, leaving Wanda visibly shaken, like she’s teetering on the edge of a panic attack.
“Everything okay?” you ask, handing her a drink. You've noticed before how Wanda's demeanor changes around Agnes; she’s clearly a source of stress for her. It’s going to be a difficult conversation, but it might be time to tell Wanda what you really think about the neighbor.
Wanda takes the water you offer, her fingers trembling slightly as she does. For a moment, she appears distant, disengaged, as if her mind is elsewhere. Then, with a sudden shift, she flashes you one of those smiles that sends a shiver down your spine.
“I'm fine,” she declares, a little too brightly. Then, seemingly out of the blue, she asks, “Is Geraldine here with someone?”
You stop short, realizing you really don't know much about Geraldine beyond work. “I didn’t see her with anyone,” you say.
Wanda nods thoughtfully. Her next suggestion catches you by surprise. 
“Maybe you should invite her over to our table.”
Did you hear that correctly? Had Wanda just done a complete 180 regarding your assistant and was now interested in getting to know her? You shoot a suspicious glance at Agnes. Had she said something to Wanda to change her mind?
“Are you sure?” you ask, puzzled by her abrupt change of heart.
“I am,” Wanda affirms. “It might be nice to make a new friend.”
Back at the response camp, Darcy and Jimmy are huddled around the small, grainy television, waiting for the moment Wanda’s in her kitchen so they can send a message through her radio device. However, the usual domestic scenes are conspicuously absent, replaced by static and sporadic cuts to the ongoing Harvest Festival.
“Come on, come on,” Darcy mutters under her breath, shoving her glasses back up her nose. They've been slipping a lot lately, probably because she's been hunching over her work more than usual these past few days.
“It's this festival,” Jimmy says, squinting at the screen. “I think the whole town's out there tonight. I don’t think we’re going to get the chance.”
Their attempts to contact anyone inside the Hex are dwindling, and Hayward's interest leans more towards studying the energy barrier encasing the town rather than resolving the anomaly itself. His latest directive to launch another drone into the barrier feels like a brute force attempt to crack the problem. Jimmy thinks it’s a waste of time—and resources.
“Yeah, and you know what’s worse?” Darcy grumbles. “I have a bad feeling about Agnes. Every time she's around, things just seem to... escalate.”
As they watch, the screen cuts to a shot of Agnes at the festival, linking arms with Wanda, whispering something that makes Wanda’s expression tighten. “See, what did I tell you?” Darcy exclaims, pointing at the screen. “Who’s this Agnes again in real life?” she asks.
Jimmy swivels in his chair, his gaze sweeping across the expansive pinboard filled with photos of Westview residents. Agnes’s face is not among them. 
“No idea,” he says flatly. He had already run a search in the database, but it came back empty.
“So, we've identified Y/N, Monica, and Agnes as outsiders in Westview,” Darcy explains, tallying them off on her fingers. 
“That’s correct,” Jimmy confirms.
“And then there’s Wanda’s sons. But again… we haven’t seen any other children in the show besides the twins.”
Jimmy thinks about it for a while. It had never really occurred to him before. “Maybe they’re bound to show up at some point?”
“Smells fishy to me,” Darcy huffs. Her thoughts circle back to Agnes. “How do you think Agnes ended up here?” she asks, their list of unanswered questions growing daily.
Jimmy shrugs. “She could’ve just been visiting.”
Darcy considers it. It's a possibility, but somehow, it doesn't feel quite right—too simple, too convenient for someone as vibrant and prickly as the character Agnes portrays.
It's as if Wanda's animosity toward Geraldine just magically went away. 
They’ve been chatting for almost an hour. Initially, Wanda made sure to include you in the conversation, but as time passed, she and Geraldine started connecting over topics that didn’t involve you as much. Feeling somewhat left out but also at ease that the problem between your wife and your secretary has apparently resolved itself, you decide to check out the festival booths.
This is where Agnes finds the perfect opportunity to get you alone. She starts her approach—to your surprise and discomfort—by acknowledging the elephant in the room.
“I know you don’t like me very much,” she says with a knowing smile. “Maybe we can change that tonight?”
You eye her with suspicion, easily seeing through her blatant attempts to flirt her way into your good graces.
“How exactly are we going to do that?” you ask, crossing your arms in front of you.
Agnes simply laughs off the cool reception you’ve given her. If anything, she revels in it. 
“By getting to know each other, obviously,” she says.
“Right.”
She takes your elbow, and you swear she can feel you recoil at her closeness, yet she doesn’t seem to care. She urges you forward, dictating the pace. Her grip is unexpectedly firm, as if to say you have no choice but to listen—like leaving isn't an option.
With you literally in her grasp, Agnes sets her plans into motion. “So, how did you and Wanda meet?” she asks.
You deliver the narrative precisely as it plays out in your memory, exactly as Wanda implanted it in your mind. “We grew up next to each other. Best friends since we were kids.” 
“How cute,” she says, in that smooth, supercilious tone that usually makes your skin crawl. But this time, with the memories of Wanda filling your head, you hardly notice.
“Yeah, I remember when I first saw her,” you continue, gazing into the distance as if the scene you speak of is right there before your eyes. “It was almost Halloween, and my mom had baked a pumpkin pie to welcome them to the neighborhood. She sent me to deliver it. Wanda answered the door.”
“Love at first sight?”
“More like the opposite,” you say, throwing Agnes a good-natured smile, something you’ve never done before. “She couldn’t stand me, and I felt the same way.”
“Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?” Agnes drawls before accompanying it with a short chuckle. “Who knows? Maybe there’s hope for us yet. You might end up not hating me so much after all.”
“Maybe…” you say, the smile reaching your eyes this time.
“Good, good,” Agnes says. “I can’t think of anything more romantic than growing up with the person you’ll be with for the rest of your life. Almost like it’s… sketched out, no?”
You nod at her, not sure where she’s going with this, but you appreciate the sentiment. You consider yourself lucky to have known Wanda most of your life. 
“So, you've lived in Westview your whole life?” Agnes asks.
“Yes,” you nod without hesitation.
“And you've only ever been to Westview?”
“No, of course not,” you laugh, ready to list off places you've been, but suddenly, you can't name any. The cities and trips that should come easily to your tongue just... don't materialize.
Not a single one.
Agnes watches you struggle with a blank expression. A second later, she begins throwing out suggestions, as if trying to help. 
“Canada?" 
You shake your head. 
“California?” 
Another shake.
“New York?”
No. This time, your eyes sting with the frustration of trying to pull something from the haze, realizing there’s nothing there. 
Have you really never been anywhere but Westview?
“Eastview, maybe?” she offers with a bit of sarcasm as she names the town next door.
“I—”
“How strange,” Agnes muses, driving home the final nail in the coffin of your crumbling peace.
You jerk your arm away from her grip and take a few instinctive steps back. “I need to pick up the twins,” you blurt out, seizing the first excuse that comes to mind. “We should be heading out soon.”
Without waiting for her reply, you start walking away, driven by a sudden, intense need to be with your boys, with Wanda. To hold them close, to find some stability. Because right now, you’re petrified by a fear you cannot name. 
“I heard Australia’s amazing this time of year!” Agnes calls after you.
The idea of not having been anywhere but Westview—it’s possible, right? Some people spend their entire lives in one place. But if this feeling—the one that's been gnawing at you lately—is real, if the world outside of Westview is truly non-existent, then what does that say about your life here?
What does it say about you?
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glossdebut · 2 days ago
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PRICE OF FAME | MYG ★ 02
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✧ PAIRING: yoongi x fem!reader
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✧ SERIES SUMMARY: You were about ready to give up, your career nowhere near what you dreamed it’d be when you started at eighteen, bright-eyed and naive. Reality for you these past few years has consisted of pouting at a camera, ignoring whispers of your name at company events, and ensuring that the stupid, tiny designer purses they keep forcing on you can at least carry a flask. But now, you’re helping a friend in need. For the first time in a long time, it feels like you’re doing something worthwhile with your life. Too bad Min Yoongi, the newest thorn in your side, seems insistent on stopping you.
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✧ SERIES TAGS: enemies to lovers, slow burn, angst, smut, fake/pretend relationship (not main couple), rockstar!yoongi, model!reader, guitarist yoongi, singer jungkook, bassist taehyung, drummer jimin, manager namjoon, yoongi & maknae line are in a rock band, reader & seokjin are best friends, yoongi & hoseok are best friends (sope duo ftw), yoongi has a tongue piercing, reader is a brat
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✧ CHAPTER WARNINGS: aqua uses her journalism degree to write a fake article, lots of yoongi pov, MC lore drop, extremely brief descriptions of sexual acts, some questions are answered but not many, sope cameo! also seokjin cameo! do you detect a hint of hyyh yoonkook-ism? because you should! EVENTS TRANSPIRE! (see series masterlist for series warnings)
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✧ CHAPTER WORDCOUNT: 5.2k words
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✧ AUTHOR’S NOTE: damn i always drop early don't i? here's a pre-holiday gift for those of you who celebrate thanksgiving. thank you to tanni @yooniivrse for beta reading SO FUCKING FAST LOL <3
p.s. from here on out updates are going to be much slower. we’re getting to the Real Plot now and i have to use my brain a little bit more. plus i want to make time to write other, shorter things! so be sure to check out my other fics if waiting for this becomes unbearable lol
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CH. 02: A HIT IS HARD TO RESIST
Love in the Spotlight: Is "Burn The Stage" Singer Falling for a Scandal Magnet?
It’s the love story that’s rocking Seoul—and leaving fans divided. Jeon Jeongguk, the smooth-talking, chart-topping frontman of “Burn The Stage,” has been the subject of intense speculation after rumors surfaced that he’s been secretly seeing one of South Korea’s most talked about models, YLN YN. And while Jeongguk’s millions of fans would do anything to claim him as their own, it’s YN’s wild reputation that’s making this relationship one to watch.
The dating rumors of the two surfaced online when YN was seen on the balcony at Wasteland during the final show of the Burn The Stage’s world tour. Eyewitnesses claim that after the show, the two were spotted backstage together, sharing a private moment.
While Jeongguk’s image has been polished and pristine despite his rock star persona, YN’s name is frequently linked with controversy. From a string of public feuds with fellow influencers to rumors of reckless behavior, she has garnered a reputation for attracting scandal wherever she goes—a trait at odds with what fans have seen from Jeongguk. So what could possibly draw the two together?
Some fans are already sounding the alarm, warning Jeongguk that dating someone like YN could tarnish his squeaky-clean image.
“I don’t know why Jeongguk would choose her,” one concerned fan commented on Instagram. “She’s trouble, and he’s too good for her. His image will be ruined if this is true.”
Despite the criticism, others are rallying behind the couple, suggesting that Jeongguk may be the one to help YN change her ways. “Everyone has a past,” one fan posted on X (formerly known as Twitter). “Maybe Jeongguk sees something in her that no one else does. People can grow and evolve.”
While neither Jeongguk or YN’s companies have released an official statement on the matter, YN hasn’t been shy about fueling the rumors. In a recent post on her Instagram, she shared a photo of herself wearing a Burn The Stage hoodie, captioning it, “i guess i’ve got good taste 👀” which has sent fans into overdrive speculating that she’s sending a not-so-subtle message about her relationship with Jeongguk.
“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” Yoongi groans to himself. He can’t read any more of this drivel. The wooden table in front of him suddenly looks all too inviting, perfect for him to bash his skull into.
You’re everywhere, completely inescapable for the past week. Apparently, Yoongi’s bi-weekly breakfast with Hoseok is no exception. The first one they’ve been able to have since the tour, too. God forbid he wants to mindlessly scroll on his phone for a second while he waits for his friend to return, because there you are, taunting him. 
After the concert, Yoongi had been so annoyed by seeing you again. Pissed off at the circumstances. Ready to do anything in his power to extricate you from Jeongguk as fast as possible.
The past week has dulled his rage considerably. The endorphins of playing live have died, as have the potent emotions that come with them. Yoongi’s logical adult brain has set in, leaving him with only a headache.
“Woah,” Hoseok says, snorting as he slides a coffee into Yoongi’s field of vision. He slips into the booth across from him, taking a sip from his own cup with an amused look on his face. “You look much more homicidal than I left you. What could’ve possibly pissed you off in the last five minutes?”
Wordlessly, Yoongi hands Hoseok his phone, the article still displayed on the screen. Hoseok silently reads the first few paragraphs, and when he scrolls back up to look at the photo attached, his eyebrows shoot up in surprise.
“Oh?” he says, zooming in on your face. On Yoongi’s phone. The audacity. “This is the Innisfree girl, right? She’s dating Jeongguk?”
“Allegedly.”
“Is her skin really that nice in person?”
“Not the point,” Yoongi hisses, snatching his phone back from Hoseok’s grip and hastily closing the article to get your dumb face off of his phone. Dumb, poreless face.
“Okay, touchy,” Hoseok says, raising his hands in surrender. “Please explain the point.”
“I don’t trust her,” Yoongi says, tapping his foot under the table. “The relationship is bogus. She’s after something, I just can’t figure out what it is.”
“And you’re basing this on…?”
“Intuition,” Yoongi says flatly.
“Right. Because your intuition is never wrong,” Hoseok says, tone laden with sarcasm. “Need I remind you that you weren’t the biggest fan of me when we met?”
“I thought you were annoying,” Yoongi agrees. He takes a sip of his coffee to mask a smirk. “Who says I was wrong about that?”
“I’d probably be hurt if you hadn’t essentially bought us couple rings last year,” Hoseok says, waggling his eyebrows. “You want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid.”
“Aish, they weren’t couple rings,” Yoongi complains. “Stop saying that. The wrong person is going to hear you and think it’s true.”
“Your ears are pink!” Hoseok exclaims triumphantly, pointing at the evidence. “Your mouth says one thing, but your ears always give you away.”
“I’m going to kill you,” Yoongi grumbles, pulling his beanie down. “Stop changing the subject.”
“Right, right. Sorry, hyung, you’re just so easy to tease,” Hoseok says, not even bothering to stifle his snickering. The bastard. “Jeonggukie’s new lady love. Go. Wait, do you want to fuck her?”
“What?” Yoongi sputters, eyes widening because what the fuck? “No—what? Look, it’s not just intuition, okay? I’m right about her. And you saw what the article said—drama follows her wherever she goes. Maybe she thinks dating Jeongguk will rehabilitate her image, or something like that.”
Yoongi had been so confident that wasn’t the case, since you’ve maintained all of your brand deals even in the midst of your many scandals, but maybe he was wrong. He still doesn’t know why you’re doing this, and it’s like the closer he gets, the less he can see.
“I don’t know,” Yoongi groans, rubbing his hands over his face. “She’s also just a bitch.”
“Okay,” Hoseok concedes, crossing his arms. “If you say so. She’s a bitch who you don’t want to fuck. What are you going to do about it?”
Yoongi shrugs. “I have that dinner tomorrow night. I was thinking of talking to Jeongguk after or something.”
“And telling him that his girlfriend is the devil? I’m sure that’ll go over well.”
“I’ll figure it out,” Yoongi sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. “Jeongguk is a stubborn kid, but he knows I wouldn’t ruin something good for him. If I word it right, maybe he’ll listen.”
“You’re not wrong. For whatever reason, Jeongguk trusts your judgement.”
Yoongi glares at him. “Go fuck yourself, Hob-ah.”
“Whatever, hyung,” Hoseok says, rolling his eyes. “Let’s talk about something else, please. I haven’t seen you in months.”
Yoongi relents easily. He doesn’t really want to be talking about you either, not when it feels like an ice pick is being jammed into his temple. 
He’ll just have to figure out what to say to Jeongguk later.
★ ★ ★
“Wow,” Seokjin says around a mouthful of jjapaguri. “He really hates you, huh?”
He’s fresh out of a long shift at the hospital, but he still headed straight to your apartment at the promise of food and celebrity gossip—his two biggest weaknesses, especially when the food doesn’t have to be made by him and the celebrity is you.
“Seems like it,” you sigh, using your chopsticks to push your noodles around aimlessly. “Normally I wouldn’t care, you know? Like, get in line, asshole.”
“But you care.”
“But I care.”
“Because of Jeongguk,” Seokjin says knowingly.
You drop your chopsticks and groan, stifling the sound by covering your face with your hands.
“Yes,” you concede. “But not because of that. I just want to help him, you know? He got me through a really rough spot last year. I’d feel like shit if I agreed to do this for him and then it ended up blowing up in our faces because of me.”
“Mmm,” Seokjin hums, chewing thoughtfully. “I’m sure the fact that you’re in love with him is a big motivator, though.”
You pick up your head, glaring at him. “Love is a big word, Jin.”
A very big word, you think, picking up your glass of wine to take a long gulp. God help you.
“A fitting one, too!” he says gleefully. “Come oooon. No judgement here. He’s hot. Not as hot as me, of course, but I have to give credit where credit is due.”
“Yes, you’re a god among men,” you mumble, rolling your eyes. “I don’t love Jeongguk. Not like that, at least. Do I need to remind you of the whole reason I’m doing this in the first place?”
“Yeah, yeah, the secret girlfriend,” Seokjin says, waving a hand dismissively. “Whatever. You’re spending a lot of time with him, is all I’m saying. The tides may turn in your favor.”
Wow, and you thought you were delusional.
“Fat chance,” you deadpan, polishing off your wine. “Especially if Yoongi is as persistent as he’s making himself out to be.”
“What’s his beef with you, anyway?” Seokjin asks, snorting to himself as he picks up a piece of steak with his chopsticks. Hilarious. “I feel like he’s going a little far for it to just be protectiveness, you know?”
Right. When you’d given Seokjin the rundown via text, you’d left one pretty substantial piece of information out.
“He said, um,” you start, picking at one of your nails nervously—a habit that Hyerin would smack you on the back of the head for, if she were here. “He said that he knows… more than I think.”
Just like that, all of the humor drains from Seokjin’s expression. “Meaning…?”
“I don’t know,” you say, your voice wobbling just a bit. “I don’t know, but if it does mean that… It makes the idea of rolling over and doing what he says pretty enticing, not gonna lie.”
“Fuck that,” Seokjin says firmly, your eyes widening in response. “If he’s the type of guy to use something like that as blackmail, then he’s a piece of shit. I don’t care if he is trying to protect Jeongguk.”
“He can’t know, though,” you groan, fully resting your head on the cool marble of your kitchen countertop now. 
You’ve been wracking your brain for days now, trying to figure out if it’s even possible for Yoongi to know anything. You’re pretty confident the answer is no, but there’s no way to be one-hundred percent sure without confirmation from the man himself. And you’d honestly rather die.
“Nobody knows except the people involved and you. You’re the only one who didn’t sign an NDA, and I’m pretty confident you’ve never met Min Yoongi. Not to mention you just wouldn’t—”
“Share that information? Hell no, I wouldn’t,” Seokjin interrupts, scoffing. “Okay, well… Regardless of whether he knows anything, he honestly just sounds like a dick and I think you should kill him.”
You snort, lifting your eyes to look at him from where your head rests on the counter. “Maybe that can be plan B,” you offer.
“Fine, then what’s the plan A?” Seokjin counters, crossing his arms and raising a conspiratorial eyebrow at you.
Fantastic question, one you’ve been thinking about the answer to since you abruptly left the afterparty that night. It’s not like you can tell Jeongguk what’s going on and risk having to tell him the whole truth. You trust Jeongguk, but…
No, it’s not an option. You don’t want anyone else to know. So, if Yoongi’s going to insist on being a problem for you, you might as well return the favor. It’s only fair.
You grin, lifting your head and leaning closer to Seokjin.
“I’m going to make his life a living hell.”
★ ★ ★
Yoongi hasn’t touched a cigarette since he was twenty one years old.
He picked up the nasty habit at sixteen, when one of his friends doled out African Ice Jacks amongst the group, bragging that his hyung had bought the pack for him. As soon as the lighter was flicked on and the bittersweet taste of bubblegum and tobacco filled Yoongi’s lungs, he was hooked.
It was stupidly easy to get his hands on cigarettes before he was of legal age, even when his friend’s hyung couldn’t supply them for whatever reason. All of the adults around him smoked, including his parents. 
It felt as though cigarettes were an extension of his hand, felt wrong when he didn’t have the option to light one up. During school hours, Yoongi’s fingers would twitch on his desk as he waited for his last class to end.
He was a fucking anxious, wound-up kid. Smoking was the only thing that helped, sometimes. If he had a shit day, at least he could have a cigarette.
When the band got signed, though, things changed. Despite the fact that the majority of the population in Korea smoked, celebrities were vilified for it in the media. For whatever fucking reason. Yoongi didn’t care much what the media had to say about him, but he reasoned that it would be pretty stupid to let his dream die over Ice Jacks. So he quit.
It was hard at first, but it’s been five years now. After so much time, it’s rare that cigarettes even cross his mind, even when others smoke around him.
Sitting across the table from you now, though, Yoongi’s fingers twitch just like they had when he was in grade school staring at a clock.
He and the band started frequenting Yoojung Sikdang long before there was any real hope for fame. It was their chosen spot after every practice. The ajumma who owns it knows their names, remembers their orders by heart. Over the years, the only part of the restaurant that’s changed is their autographed photos on the wall. They’ve celebrated every single milestone here, big or small, just the five of them. Alone.
Wrapping up their first world tour should be no different. It’s their biggest milestone yet, and all Yoongi wanted was to eat ssambap with his best friends. Remind himself that none of the fame matters as long as they still have this.
But here you are. Of course. Encroaching on everything Yoongi’s built, everything he holds dear to his heart.
The only time it’s ever been more than the five of them here was the night they signed their contract, accompanied by two label executives. Even if you’re allegedly riding Jeongguk’s dick, no way are you that fucking important.
Yoongi would laugh if he wasn’t so pissed off. You are such a fucking pest. He just can’t shake you off.
“You don’t like what you ordered?” Jimin asks you, snapping Yoongi out of his thoughts.
Yoongi’s made an effort to keep to himself for the majority of the dinner. No use in ruining everyone else’s night—it’s still a special one, after all. Besides, he’s still trying to be an adult about things. You may have ruined his plan to talk to Jeongguk tonight, but it’s not like he’s going to cause a scene in front of a restaurant full of people—
“Oh, I’m just not very hungry,” you say. Yoongi’s eyes narrow.
All you’ve been doing all night is burrowing into Jeongguk’s side, barely touching your food. Lipgloss still perfectly in place. Normally, Yoongi wouldn’t care—he’s not paying for it. He wastes food on the label’s dime all the time. At Yoojung Sikdang, though?
“Why did you come, then?” 
The words come out of Yoongi’s mouth before he can stop them, sharp and pointed. He’d fully intended to keep his mouth shut, eat his food, and then go home. Maybe buy a pack on the way. But now they’re out there, and Yoongi can’t bring himself to care. Certainly not to feel bad.
For the first time since you’d walked in on Jeongguk’s arm, you make eye contact with him. On purpose this time—challenging. Yoongi’s not a little bitch, so he stares back. 
“Because Jeonggukie invited me,” you say, faux sweetness dripping from your words as you lean your head on Jeongguk’s shoulder. Eyes still fixed on Yoongi. “I figured it would be okay, since you all gave me such a warm welcome last time.”
Yeah. Yoongi’s buying that pack of cigarettes. 
“You’re always welcome to come out with us,” Taehyung coos, like he thinks you’re the cutest thing in the world. Knowing Taehyung, he probably does.
Everyone seems to be in agreement on that front, too, except Yoongi who rolls his eyes as he shoves a ssam into his mouth. Whatever.
“It’s gonna be hell getting you out of here, though,” Namjoon adds from Yoongi’s left. He leans over to glance at the crowd of people peering through the front of the restaurant, cameras at the ready, desperate to get a glimpse of you and Jeongguk. Not that you’re making it particularly hard.
“We’ve never had a crowd like that out there,” Jimin says, in awe. “I’m not surprised, though. Those articles about you two have been getting tons of clicks.”
“Ah,” you say. If Yoongi didn’t know better, he’d think you sound almost sheepish. “That, um. That might be my fault. I told my manager I was coming here. She must’ve tipped someone off.”
Of course.
“Anything for a photo-op, right?” Yoongi sneers, unable to help himself. It’s such an easy shot, after all. You’re being so transparent.
“Hyung,” Taehyung says, eyes wide as if he’s appalled. 
“I’m sorry, Yoongi-ssi,��� you say, tilting your head at him. That little flash of a challenge is still in your eyes, and Yoongi doesn’t like it one bit. “Do you have a problem with me being here?”
Yoongi scoffs, sitting up. When he speaks, it’s laced with bitterness. “We just don’t normally come here with guests, that’s all. I guess I didn’t get the memo that that’d suddenly changed.”
“I invited her, hyung,” Jeongguk says. “She’s my girlfriend.” He wraps his arm around you protectively and, fuck, you’re good. You’re so good at making Yoongi look like the asshole.
“I get that, Guk-ah,” Yoongi tries, his voice considerably softer now. “But, come on… Here? And the mob outside, I mean… Do you really think that was just a harmless mistake?”
“What are you implying?” Jeongguk grits out. He’s angry now, that much is clear, and it’s Yoongi’s fault. 
You have him trapped. He’s surrounded by landmines, unable to come up with a single response that could possibly defuse them.
“Come on, guys,” Namjoon says, glancing at Yoongi pointedly. “We’re here to celebrate.”
“If Yoongi-ssi is uncomfortable that I’m here, maybe I should go,” you say, making to get up.
Jeongguk reaches for your arm, stopping you. “No,” he says. “Yoongi-hyung, you can either get over it and stay with us, or you can leave. You’re the only one who doesn’t want her here.”
Un-fucking-believable.
“Are you serious?” Yoongi scoffs, looking around at everyone. Is this really happening to him right now? This is his band!
The table is deadly silent. Everyone refuses to meet Yoongi’s eyes except you and Jeongguk, who raises a challenging eyebrow at him. It’s immediately apparent to Yoongi that he’s not winning this one. That somehow, he’s ruined the night meant to celebrate him and his friends.
Bitterly, Yoongi laughs. “Fine.”
No one protests when he pushes his chair away from the table and stands up, and that stings much more than Yoongi would like to admit.
He catches your eye as he grabs his jacket off the back of his chair, anger flaring at how pleased you look. 
“Have a nice fucking dinner,” Yoongi mutters, before turning on his heel and walking towards the door. Leaving his friends to face a crowd of photographers and fans that you called.
As he walks out into the cold, dodging the phones being shoved in his face, all he can think about is the way Jeongguk had looked at him.
★ ★ ★
You met Jeon Jeongguk a year ago, give or take a few months. You just remember it was cold.
Less than twenty-four hours after a particularly nasty breakup with a guy you didn’t love but liked enough, you were back on the clock. Zipped into something tight and expensive, wearing the best waterproof mascara money could buy.
You hated those events to begin with—the galas, end of year ceremonies for awards you were no longer viable to win. They were torture for you. But the sting of being freshly single only made things worse, so you had decided to make the most of it.
You may not have been able to win a KMA, but you were well within your rights to treat the KMAs themselves like your own personal dating pool. No better way to rid yourself of your ex like getting with someone new, you thought.
Which is where Jeongguk came in, devastatingly hot in his tailored suit. You’d ran into him on your way from the bathroom—much like you had with Yoongi, now that you think about it—and you instantly found yourself wondering what it would be like to kiss a guy with a lip ring. Jeongguk, as it turned out, was very interested in showing you. 
You were both a little drunk, but the attraction was real. Instant. 
One very handsy cab ride later, and you were in his apartment, grinding on his lap as you experienced first-hand just how little of an obstacle a lip ring can be if the man who has it knows what he’s doing.
Things were going so well—Jeongguk’s tongue exploring your mouth as you felt his cock stiffening beneath you. But it all came crashing down as soon as his hand slid under your dress.
The fact of the matter was, you’d just been dumped. Regardless of how strongly you did or didn’t feel about your ex, you’d still been dumped and it still hurt. As soon as Jeongguk really touched you, it became all too apparent that you wouldn’t be able to go through with it. Luckily, at the slightest bit of hesitance from you, Jeongguk’s hand immediately retreated from under your dress. 
He was sweet about it. Really, really sweet. Valiantly ignored his erection and offered to listen instead, which made you laugh. Comforted you even though you hadn’t thought you needed it. Let you sleep in his bed anyway. When you left the next morning, kindly offered to be your friend, because you clearly needed one.
You’ve been friends ever since. 
Not in the same way that Seokjin is your friend, of course. Seokjin is your best friend, has been since you were both kids. But Jeongguk just… He gets the industry, in a way that Seokjin never will.
Which brings you to last month.
Last month, when Jeongguk called you nervously in the middle of his tour schedule. Asked you to be his fake girlfriend in guilty, hushed whispers.
You didn’t need to know why. You were always going to say yes. 
But Jeongguk explained anyway. He explained that he has a girlfriend, a real girlfriend, who isn’t from your world. That he hasn’t been able to see her nearly as much as he’d like to because he’s terrified of the backlash she could receive from being connected to him romantically.
You read between the lines—you have nothing to lose, at this point. There isn’t a day that goes by where someone online doesn’t have something to say about you, reputable or not.
He explained that in order to maintain the lie, no one in the industry could know the truth, not even Jeongguk’s bandmates. According to him, they wouldn’t understand why he felt the need to go to such lengths. You didn’t completely agree then, but having met Yoongi now, you get it.
His girlfriend knows about you, he’d told you. She knows who you are, knows about that night last year, and that she still agreed to let him ask you this. She doesn’t see you as a threat.
It stung, a little. Of course it did. You and Jeongguk may be friends, but you’ve always felt a hint of something else there. Maybe it was the kindness he’d shown you when you met. Maybe it’s just him. But you never said anything, convinced it was one-sided.
Clearly you were right.
Still, you want to do this for him. You care about him, and just because you can’t maintain a stable relationship doesn’t mean Jeongguk doesn’t deserve a chance at one.
You think, if Yoongi knew, he’d feel the same.
★ ★ ★
Five years down the drain, Yoongi thinks. Ashes his cigarette. Oh well.
Honestly, it’s not even really about you, although Yoongi would love to pretend otherwise. If he pins it all on you, it makes his mission to get rid of you all the more noble. The label breathing down his neck. The impending deadline of an album he doesn’t know if he can write. Dongsaengs that don’t know how to stay out of trouble. If it’s all your fault, it can’t be his.
This—the smoking—was bound to happen, with or without you. You just helped the process along.
He’s perched on his windowsill, puffing his way through cigarette number two, when his phone buzzes next to him.
Namjoon doesn’t call him nearly ever. Yoongi has a way that he likes things done, and Namjoon is probably his only friend that actually respects it. Emails for work. In-person or texts for personal shit. Video calls never. Phone calls only if Yoongi needs to hear it now and there’s no other way.
Yoongi picks up.
“Joon-ah?” Cautious. He likes phone calls the least because phone calls mean trouble, like someone is in the hospital. He’s gotten that call before, more than once.
“Hyung,” Namjoon says. “Do you have a minute?”
Namjoon wouldn’t be asking that if someone was in the hospital, so Yoongi allows himself to unclench. Just a little. “Yeah, I have a minute.”
He hears rustling on the line, like Namjoon is fidgeting. But Namjoon is always fidgeting, so that could mean nothing.
“I figured, given the events of tonight, that it would be a good call to warn you ahead of time. I would’ve come by your apartment, but I’ve got meetings all morning tomorrow and it’s late. I didn’t want to wait until next time I see you though, so…” Namjoon starts, trailing off. 
Yoongi works his jaw. “Spit it out, Joon-ah,” he says, because Namjoon is shit at delivering bad news. He’s always beating around the bush, trying to soften the blow. It’s great for the kids, but it makes Yoongi feel like he’s about to have to bury his first-born or some shit. Yoongi likes clear, direct.
Namjoon knows this, so he always gets it right on the second try.
“YN is going to the Jeju house with you guys,” Namjoon says. Clear and direct, but the absolute last thing Yoongi wants to hear right now. 
“You’re fucking with me.”
“I’m not.”
“She has literally no fucking reason to be there, Joon-ah,” Yoongi grits out. The cigarette secured between his index and middle knuckles has burned down to nothing, singes his fingers. He hisses and flicks it out the window. “Is she going to help us write an album? Is that it?”
“Hyung—“
“No, she isn’t. She’s going to distract my lead singer the whole time and make the whole point of the trip fucking impossible,” he interrupts, because once he gets started he can’t stop. “Who signed off on this? Doesn’t she have a job? Isn’t there a goddamn camera that needs to be smoldered at?”
“Yoongi-hyung,” Namjoon says. He’s using his manager voice, and Yoongi shuts up instantly. 
Namjoon uses this voice on the kids all the time. Realistically, it’s not a big deal. It’s his job. But he’s never had to use it on Yoongi before.
He deserves it, though. Yoongi knows that. He knows that he’s been insufferable ever since you showed up, and he doesn’t like it either. He’d wanted to talk to Jeongguk, to have a heart-to-heart with him about it, but that’s proven impossible given that you’re always around. And Namjoon is their voice of reason.
Yoongi tries again.
“I don’t like her,” he explains, keeping his voice level. “I don’t think she has Jeongguk’s best interests at heart. I’m just trying to look out for him.”
The line stays quiet for a long moment, like Namjoon is taking special care in choosing his next words. It would make Yoongi nervous, but that’s just what Namjoon does.
“Hyung, you need to leave it alone,” he finally says.
What the fuck.
Yoongi could have foreseen plenty of responses from Namjoon. He’s been on the receiving end of Namjoon’s sage advice more than he’s proud of. Yoongi worries a lot, and Namjoon is particularly good at quieting those worries, particularly when they pertain to the kids. And they usually do. But he sure as shit wasn’t expecting to be blown off like that.
“Joon-ah, Jeongguk is gonna—“
“Jeongguk is a grown man. He’s fully entitled to make his own decisions, and you need to respect that if you don’t want to lose him.”
Lose him? Is Yoongi going insane? Is he fucking missing some integral piece of this puzzle that everyone else seems to have?
The notion of losing Jeongguk is completely absurd. How could he lose Jeongguk over something like this? Jeongguk, the college freshman with the huge eyes who followed Yoongi around like a puppy. Jeongguk who sang so softly when Yoongi asked, who beamed with pride when Yoongi told him he had something special. Jeongguk who dropped out alongside Yoongi, took a risk because he trusted his hyung to take care of him.
It was Yoongi and Jeongguk before it was anyone else, and Yoongi has never let Jeongguk down once, won’t allow himself to. This is the thing that’s going to change that? 
“What are you even talking about?”
“Just… leave this one alone, Yoongi,” Namjoon sighs. “She’s coming whether you like it or not, and you need to at least pretend to play nice.”
Yoongi doesn’t appreciate being treated like a child who’s the cause of his parent’s headache, not by Kim Namjoon. The label dickheads are one thing, but the one person Yoongi has entrusted with everything for the past five years? Before that, even? Fuck that. Namjoon doesn’t talk to him this way, and that’s not about to change because of you.
“Namjoon-ah, if you’re going to blow me off, at least put my cock in your mouth and do it right,” Yoongi spits, hanging up before he can think better of his words.
Fuck.
Yoongi hasn’t bitten Namjoon’s head off like that in a long time. It doesn’t feel good to be back in old patterns like this. Yoongi knows why he doesn’t trust you, but he doesn’t know what it is about you that makes it so—urgent. Like he’s a wild animal primed to bite. To hurt. Yoongi isn’t that guy. 
If what Namjoon said is true, if Jeongguk really is at risk of slipping through Yoongi’s fingers, he has to get his fucking act together. He has to try harder to handle this like an adult.
So, you’re coming to Jeju. Fine. Yoongi can be civil.
Even if the only way for him to be civil is not to speak to you at all.
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walks-the-ages · 2 days ago
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let's play a game.
Biological Essentialism/Determinism can be summed up as, in the most simplified way, "what you are born as intrinsically determines your behavior and destiny".
"Gender Essentialism" uses the exact same framework but with a thin veneer of "trans inclusivity" slapped on top, to say that while your biology does not determine who you are, your gender identity does. Even before you realize you are trans or come out of the closet.
Under the framework of "Gender Essentialism" you're viewed as being X gender and somehow getting all of those 'benefits' from society even before you realize or come out as X gender.
So, some examples:
W is a member of a sentient Fantasy Race who is created to be Ontologically Evil. W being born into this Fantasy Race means that W is destined to be Evil and cruel no matter what and W and the rest of W's race will never ever be able to change their Evil ways.
X is assigned Female at birth. X is expected to be subservient, loyal to a single husband, and want to have children. X is expected to want these things from an early age and can and will be ostracized if X expressed any disinterest in these things or opposite behavior to the things expected of X's gender. (not wanting kids, not being interested in men, etc)
Y is assigned Male at birth. Y is expected to be fierce, strong, and to father many strong sons. Y is expected to want these things from an early age and can and will be ostracized if Y expresses any disinterest in these things or opposite behavior to the things expected of Y's gender. (being physically weak, not minding having daughters instead of sons, not being interested in women, etc)
Z is born into a strict caste system, and is born in the lowest caste. Z is expected to spend Z's whole life serving those 'better' than Z without recompense or complaint, with *no* possible avenue to advance in society due to the caste system.
This is inspired both by the wave of trans inclusive radical feminists who say that
"because trans men are of course men, that means they are inherently evil and oppressive and part of the patriarchy that seeks to tear trans women down."
and also because I've seen too many fantasy and scifi series way too comfortable with making Ontologically Evil Species and strictly enforced Caste Systems where everything is fine and dandy and everyone's happy with their lot in life as long as the ones with a caste system are the
"Beautiful, Pure and Good Elves, because as we all know, Happy Slaves aren't really Slaves, right? And if the Ruler has the Divine Right of Kings and all the little people think that's good, that makes it good, right?" (sarcasm).
If you've ever considering giving your fantasy or scifi race as 'caste' system that determins who does what based on their lineage or their body type and its apparently 'good and natural and everyone loves being their caste and wouldn't have it any other way'
....have you considered that Caste Systems have always been used as tools of oppression and discrimination and this is something real people face, and that we should not be writing "good caste systems" from the comfort of Western Society and perhaps consider the harm in romanticing these very real frameworks of systemic oppression?
Anyways, both in literature and real life:
do you agree that Biological Essentialism, Biological Determinism, and yes, "Trans-Inslusive Gender Essentialism" are ever correct and a good framework for viewing other people?
Or do you agree that this is an absolutely bullshit way to view individuals and that all it does is uphold systems of oppression, especially when it comes to queer people, people of color, disabled people, intersex people and more?
anyways just gonna leave you with this gif.
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[ID: a gif from Pokemon the Movie 2000, showing Mew and Mewtwo floating over a battlefield, with Mewtwo having the realization "I see now that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are." End ID]
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baronessvonglitter · 2 days ago
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Cherry, Cherry 🍒 Chapter 20 🍒
"Baby Loves Me"
Joel Miller x f!Reader
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Word count: 8,823 (she's a big'un)
Summary: A blizzard, a wedding, family secrets, and two people who can't stop thinking about each other. Are these fateful events going to drive you apart for good, or bring you even closer together?
(Warnings contain spoilers beneath the cut)
WARNINGS: 18+ Only! Mature and Explicit, age gap (reader is 39, Joel is 56), takes place a few days before Christmas 2023, mention of eating food/drinking alcohol, mention of health issues, oral (m & f receiving), Ellie has anger issues, use of guns for recreational shooting, jealous!Joel, mutual pining, reader wears makeup and dresses, unprotected piv, creampie, TW for minor heart attack and hospitalization (everything is okay in the end), getting back together and having a happily ever after. In this universe everyone is alive and happy.
Author's Note: this series was the first story I ever posted on AO3 and then recently here on tumblr. I had no idea so many people would love it, and it's currently my most liked, most commented-on, and most bookmarked work on AO3 ♥️ It feels so good to finally have this complete, but I will write some one-shots about this couple in the future, because part of me really doesn't want to let them go. Much love to those who stuck around and showed their support while I got this story hammered out. I love and appreciate all of you!
Please enjoy this playlist for your listening pleasure, songs that either appear in the series or provided inspiration
Series Masterlist
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It's early when Joel wakes, sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the bed as he puts his hand to his heart, eyes scrunched closed tight as he prepares himself for the increasingly painful palpitations. He grunts in suffering at the agony of the erratic pounding of his heart, body tense until it passes, and he sighs with relief, head in his hands as he runs his fingers through his greying locks.
It's been almost a week now that he's had these pains, happening every day now that Sarah's wedding day is nearing. He gets them on and off but lately stress has been catching up to him and reminding him he's not in his thirties anymore. Hell, he'd give anything just to be in his forties again.
He gets up to get a glass of water, quickly throwing on a shirt before going downstairs. The house is quiet though he can see the electric glow of the television light on underneath yours and Ellie's rooms. He hesitates just outside of your room, putting an ear to the door, hoping to catch some tidbit of your voice, some clue as to what you're doing in there, but it's quiet, just the low volume of something playing on TV.
With a sigh he goes down to the kitchen.
Alone with his thoughts, affected by the presence of you and Ellie under his own roof, he takes stock of his life, of all the moments he failed you when he should have been there for you.
That first night he set foot back in Austin after serving time in the Bexar County jail, wondering if he should call you, he'd gone instead to a bar and met Hailey. He didn't recognize her at first, but she'd come on so strong, and the alcohol ran freely that night, so by the time he'd taken her home and her warm, tight little mouth was wrapped around his cock, it was too late. He didn't expect that that one night would lead to her wanting more, but by then you were gone, tucked back safely away in Houston where he couldn't get his hands on you and where you could (he'd hoped) in time forget about him. You were too much of a good girl with too much potential to waste it on someone like him. Hailey was someone who was always going to be stuck in a small town, so he didn't have to worry he was holding her back. But he soon came to realize that all they had between them was fucking. Not that he'd ever minded it in the past, but after having you, experiencing what real love was like, what Hailey offered felt like a cheap replacement, and he just wasn't that man anymore. He knew Sarah hated her, so when he caught Hailey stealing from him he knew that was the last straw and ended things.
Sad to say he went back to his usual routine from before he met you. Working from sunup to sundown, coming home with new aches in his joints to a meal Sarah had had to cook herself, or pizza that had gone cold. On the weekends he'd be at the bar, either with Tommy or more often alone, and he'd find a woman and wind up at her place. He could never bring them back to his, not in his bed that he shared with you.
Seeing you in New Orleans that summer night had been a shock to his system. He thought he'd managed to get over you just a little, but seeing you, a little older than the last time, looking soft and happy and bright-eyed as you laughed with Tommy.. and that fucking rock on your finger that signaled you were taken. Something primeval in him stirred when he ran into you in that restroom hallway, your lips full and glossy from making out with his brother, jealousy surging through him that you'd be so willing to cheat on your husband-to-be with someone other than himself.. it led him to want you more than he'd ever wanted anything in his life.
Leaving you the next day had been the hardest thing, but he had to remind himself you were going to belong to another. He couldn't get in the way of that, not when he'd only shown his love for you by fucking you in a bar restroom. You were going to marry a military man and have a respectable life, that was what he wanted for you. To have a life with Joel would only make you sordid, ripe for gossip. He was old enough to be your father and you were in fact his his best friend's daughter. He couldn't sully your life with his mistakes.
On a last minute whim he'd come to your wedding, sat at the very back as you were oblivious to him, staring into your husband's eyes as you spoke your vows, each word a piece of jagged glass in his heart. He'd left before you could see him, driving back to Texas at a high rate of speed, gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles. Why hadn't he just objected? He could have done it, raised his hand and told the entire congregation that you were his god damn it. He would have led you out, carrying you bridal style, ripped your damn dress off you and fucked you senseless.
It was later that Tommy suggested the dating app. Joel wasn't a fan of technology, and in fact still had his old Nokia phone that Sarah was warning him was becoming obsolete and cajoled him into upgrading to a smartphone. Once she and Tommy had helped him with setting up a profile on eHarmony, the requests piled in. Women from all over the state showed their interest. He had his pick of almost anyone. While he went on a few fruitless dates (some of which actually ended up in sex) there were few that actually interested him.
Until Tess. She was so much like him, and more suited to his age. A divorcee, she knew what she wanted in a relationship and stuck by her values. Beneath her tough exterior Joel found she was actually very kindhearted, even sweet. She cared about animals, liked beer, and was a homebody. She'd resisted his charms at first, but eventually neither could give in to the spark they felt. It took some convincing to get her to marry him. She accepted only on the terms that he move to Boston. She'd visited Texas a few times on business, but she wanted to stay in the northeast, and Joel, in love again for the first time in years, acquiesced.
The problem was they were too much alike. Both wanted to lead, and while he was happy to let Tess have the reigns now and then, it became an issue. This led to more arguments, tense discussions over things that shouldn't have mattered. The divorce, when it finally happened, was a blessing in disguise. Joel followed Tommy away from Boston and found comfort here in Wyoming, in a place he could start anew.
Sarah had been none too subtle when she brought you up in conversation. "Did you know she's a teacher?" "She's single now, divorced actually." "She's in California with her daughter."
Every damn day there was a phone call or a text where you were mentioned. And now, with you here under his roof at Sarah's behest, it was apparent that she was trying to get you two back together again.
He knew he needed to speak with you about that comment you uttered, about "our" daughter Ellie. He'd done the math in his head, just to be safe, and had calculated that he could indeed be her dad. But he had to get the honest answer from you.
It'd be easy if you would at least acknowledge his presence.
Your cold shoulder is more like an arctic icy blast. Your refusal to even meet his eye is like an arrow through his heart. He wishes that you would at least glare at him, or say something sarcastic or hurtful, but your silence is the coldest thing, even with the blizzard outside.
He's hopeful during one moment the next morning, as he's going into the hall restroom while you're coming out. Freshly showered, you're wearing a towel around your body, skin glowing, hair combed back and damp. The steam that surrounds you from your hot shower makes you look like a figure from a movie, an ethereal angel come to earth. His breath catches in his throat as you look up at him, your beautiful eyes wide and plush lips parted. Then you resume your coldness, pulling your towel tighter around you as you go to your room. When he steps in he smells the jasmine aroma of your body wash still in the air around him his dick hardens in response.
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Hearing that Sofia has arrived is the one bright spot in your time here.
You meet her at the Tipsy Bison after everyone has helped out shoveling snow off the path. You'd found yourself working next to Joel and said nothing to him, ignoring his silent appeal for you to talk to him.
Now the crew is indulging in some food and beer at the bar while you catch up with your cousin.
"How did you get in? I thought the roads were impassable," you tell her after a big hug and an introduction to her fiancee Ruby. It had come as a surprise to you when she'd told you she was marrying a woman, but Sofia had said she'd only followed her heart and didn't consider herself stuck to any sort of label. Ruby was the perfect person for her and there was no looking back.
"Tommy sent a pilot friend of his to pick us up from the airport when our taxi couldn't make it through the snow," she says, nearly knocked over as Ellie pummels her with a bear hug. "We were helicoptered in, like a couple of VIPs."
It's like old times as you share a booth altogether, different kinds of appetizers in the center of the table as you catch up on things.
"How did you manage to still stay friends with Tommy?" you ask when Ruby and Ellie go to make change for the jukebox. Hearing that Sofia is staying with Tommy and Maria during their visit, you can't help but wonder how other people can so easily put aside the past.
"I think it helped that we were friends before we started dating," she shrugs. "And.. to be honest, our relationship never got that serious. Not like you and Joel," she finishes in a whisper, darting a glance at the elder Miller brother, who's knocking back some beer with Tommy and a few others.
"Why do you ask?" Sofia continues.
"I don't know how to deal with being under the same roof as Joel," you admit. "Everything that he put me through.. I know we're only here for a few days but it feels like an eternity. It's becoming harder to avoid him."
"You should talk to him," she says gently. "You don't have to be best friends or anything, but you're a friend of the bride. You should at least be civil."
You sneak a look over your shoulder at him, just to find he's already staring at you. You quickly turn away.
"Does he know about.." Sofia motions with her head toward Ellie, who's at the jukebox with Ruby.
"No," you respond. "And he doesn't need to know."
"That's not fair to him," she softly scolds you.
"You are the only one I've trusted with this, Sofia. Please do not make me regret telling you."
Sofia is really the only family you have left. You never saw you father after that fateful night when Joel fought him, and your mother disowned Ellie when she came out, causing you to disown your mother in return. Your circle is small but faithful.
She backs off. "All right," she relents. "But what about Ellie? She'll resent you for keeping this a secret this long."
You watch your daughter, who's drifted from the jukebox to one of the pool tables, mindlessly spinning the cue ball upon the soft green surface. She's distracted when she sees another girl across the room, a pretty dark-haired girl around her own age, watching Ellie furtively, as if fascinated.
"What the fuck are you looking at?" Ellie shouts, causing the girl to run away.
"Ellie!" you snap at her, and to your astonishment Joel walks past you to go to her. You freeze, watching their interaction, but all seems to be okay as they talk quietly.
"I don't know what to do for her. I don't know how to help her.. she's so angry, especially since the divorce. And Justin rarely ever sees her. The only thing he's good for is the child support." You swig your beer, itching to go and talk to her, but the stubborn side of you refuses to be closer to Joel than is necessary.
Sofia folds her napkin in sections. "She called me and told me about Riley.. and the little mishap at the mall."
Earlier that year, Ellie and Riley had been picked up by the cops for trespassing in an abandoned mall and vandalizing some stores. It was completely unlike her, and even though you both sought family therapy for all the issues you were going through, it didn't seem to be making much leeway.
"She doesn't seem so angry now," Sofia mentions, and you turn to see Joel and Ellie starting a game of pool. You both watch as she tries to pull off complicated trick shots and Joel just shakes his head in feigned frustration. Once again your gaze lingers too long and you lock eyes, but this time you offer a tiny smile, mouthing 'thanks.'
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"Hey Mom, can I go with Joel and Finn? Joel said I have to ask you."
You look up from where you're steam-cleaning your dress for the rehearsal dinner tonight. "Where are you going?"
"It's near the woods on Joel's property. We're just going for a hike," she shrugs.
"I guess.. just behave yourself, okay?"
She grins, glad to have gotten permission. You follow her down to the foyer where Joel and Finn are getting their hats and gloves on. "Be careful," you tell them, though it's mostly meant for Joel.
"Of course. You're okay with her shootin'?"
"What?!"
Ellie manages to look chagrined. "I didn't think you'd let me go if you knew guns would be involved."
"Well you thought right!"
"I won't let her if you won't allow it," Joel offers.
"Come on!" Ellie groans.
"Just remember that you're on thin ice back home," you tell her without wanting to let on to the others about Ellie's troubled past.
"Somethin' the matter?" Joel asks, eyes darting between you and her.
"Nope," Ellie's all smiles when you hesitate to answer. "Let's get going!"
She and Finn race out the door into the snowy yard just as Joel stops for a brief moment. "I won't let her shoot if you don't want her to," he says solemnly.
The nearness of him, the rich baritone of his voice could easily bring you to your knees. It feels like a chore just to swallow that emotion and consider it dead, a mistake.
"Just be careful," you repeat, a smile flitting on your lips. Heat rises in your face when you see his gaze drop down to your mouth, his tongue peeking out to swipe across his own lips.
"You could come with us."
Your first instinct is to refuse, to keep that wall built between him and yourself. Good fences make good neighbors and brick walls keep people from reliving past trauma.
But damn it's hard to say no when he's here right in front of you, after all this time, and the parts of you that have healed just want to give in, to go into his arms again.
It's not a surprise when you're in the passenger seat of his truck, like old times. And though it's a newer model and the seats have warmers and the upholstery makes the whole car smell like it was just driven off the lot, in a way it still feels like summer 2003.
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Finn's done this before, the apple of his grandfather's eye. Even with the skill of a child, he shoots with ease, knocking down most of the targets Joel had set up on a fence.
When it's Ellie's turn she's eager for the gun, but her practice shots are haphazard: off an old fallen tree, a random snowbank. She huffs in frustration.
"Wide right," Joel tells her. "You're flinchin'."
Ellie shakes her head. "The target's too small."
"I made it bigger than I should've. Eject the cartridge."
You watch your only child move with precision, handling the gun with ease despite being new to this. "I'm not flinching, the rifle just sucks."
You and Finn exchange a look, suppressing your laughter.
"Okay, give it." Joel changes places with Ellie, who quips, "It doesn't aim right, you'll see."
It's hard to tear your eyes from him as he sets up, moving with the ease of someone half his age. "A deep breath in, slow breath out. You squeeze the trigger like you love it," he says, ignoring Ellie's teasing remarks. "Gentle, steady, nice and slow."
"You gonna shoot this thing or get it pregnant?" she smirks, and when you laugh out loud Joel shakes his head, pulling off the perfect shot.
After, you rest on the tailgate of the truck while drinking warm beverages from your thermoses. Ellie and Finn gather their energy quickly enough, playing in the snow and chasing each other. It brightens your day to see your daughter smiling.
"I wanna apologize for the other day," Joel says, his eyes flicking to you. "I was outta line. I've apologized to Ellie too. I think she and I are good now."
You nod, somewhat relieved that he'd brought it up first. "I'm sorry too. I guess I get pretty riled up when someone tries to out-parent me."
Joel looks away, towards the mountains that peak their grayness against the clear blue sky. "He been outta the picture long?"
"Who? Justin?" You notice Joel winces at your ex husband's name. "Long enough. He was supposed to spend time with her for Christmas but chose his new wife over his own daughter. She didn't take it very well."
"Fuckin' bastard," he mutters. "Always figured there was a reason for me to not like him."
You give him a strange look. "You didn't know him."
"Didn't need to. He took you away from me. That's reason enough."
"Joel," you say quietly, both a scolding and a scoff. You remember his body against yours that night, the way your sheets bore his scent until the day before Justin came back from out of town and you had to wash away the evidence of your betrayal.
"I'm sorry I didn't go after you. There were a million opportunities and I failed each time."
You say his name again, with softness this time, your hand finding his, his palm almost completely dwarfing yours. You think about his fingers inside you, teasing you for the first time, showing you how to open up to him, and how you ended up giving away your whole heart.
In the moment where you can say the most heartwarming or romantic or even angry thing, what comes out of your mouth is: "You never accepted my friend request."
Joel looks puzzled. "What?"
"My friend request. On Facebook. I tried to add you but you never accepted it, so I canceled it." Cringing at your own words, how needy they sound, you take your hand from his, but he traps it within his own again.
"Darlin', I never look at that stuff. I only got one 'cause everyone else goaded me into it." His eyes look mirthful as he sees your doleful eyes.
"And that's how I found out about Tess.."
"Oh." The mirthful look is gone, replaced by a dark, blank look. The first marriage, the only marriage he ever had, so late in life, ended.
"What was she like?"
"Why do you wanna know?" He looks at the ground, as if the snow is so interesting. "What was that idiot fuckboy husband of yours like?"
You almost laugh, surprised that he's jealous, even after you've moved on from your marriage.
"He wasn't as great as I thought," you shrug. "But that doesn't matter now."
Joel smiles, agreeing. "Tess was.. we were good for awhile but you're right, doesn't matter now."
"Because we both turned out okay.. me and you."
He thinks it over a bit, eventually nodding. "Yeah.." His deep brown eyes meet yours, and you catch a glimmer of the man he was before, twenty years past, a single dad with a teenage girl and an interest in the new girl next door. "I'm sorry.. for everything. We happened so fast that my brain had to catch up with my heart."
You're afraid that if you think about it for too long you'll cry and never stop. "We don't have to talk about that.."
He nods, looking a little sad that you declined. "You're right, we don't."
"Look at you with all this land," you smile, gently teasing him to change the subject. "What are you gonna do with all of it?"
Joel shrugs, looking at his property, thinking again of the possibilities. "I might decide to turn it into a ranch, raise sheep," he shrugs. "They're quiet and do what they're told."
He's quiet another moment, before his voice drops an octave. "I'm really glad you came, babygirl.. it's really good to see you. Don't think I said that before."
A smile graces your lips, a genuine one, and the warmth of his words melts what's left of your defenses. "Joel.. there's something I need to tell you.. about Ellie.." The words are out before you even think.
Your heart pounds, taking residence in your throat as if to keep the truth from spilling out. Joel turns his whole body to you. His eyes search yours, without question or condemnation, as if he's willing you to say it because he already knows, because he just wants it made real.
When the moment passes it's a disappointment to both of you. It's getting later in the afternoon and you still need to get ready for tonight. The kids trudge back to the truck and you get in next to Joel in the front. There's a quietness that fills the space, thick and somewhat desperate.
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The Tipsy Bison has gone through another temporary makeover for the rehearsal dinner: garlands of lights arch across the ceiling from beam to beam, creating a pleasant, dreamy atmosphere. People mill around waiting for the bride and groom who are running a little late. Drinks are served and tables of food boast different kinds of cuisine.
Ellie makes a beeline for the hors d'oevres, immediately picking out what she wants and stuffing it straight into her mouth as if she hasn't seen food in months. Joel watches her from the next table over, trying hard as hell not to call her out too harshly, but as his stomach growls he joins her in the hunt for sustenance.
A tray of pastel-colored macarons catches Ellie's eye and she takes a light green treat with her fingers. "What are these?" She scrutinizes it, taking a quick sniff.
"It's some kinda cookie.. or something.. how the hell should I know?" he grumbles.
"Pistachio," she grunts in disgust, putting it back on the plate.
"Well, now don't put it back, you've already touched it and sniffed it and everything.." Joel quickly pops the discarded macaron into his mouth.
"If you want 'em they're all yours," she says, giving his shoulder a couple heavy claps before moving on down the line of food.
He just shakes his head, looking around for you for the tenth time tonight, finding you with Sarah and her soon-to-be inlaws at the bar. His mouth goes dry at the sight of you in a dark red dress, long-sleeved, cinched at the waist, and he feels a familiar rush of blood to his cock as he eyes the thigh-length slit on one side of the skirt.
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"That color is sensational on you."
You turn to the voice you've just heard, as the group you were talking with disperses.
"Hi," you tell the older, well-dressed man in front of you. "I don't believe we've met." But then it hits you, and just as he introduces himself you realize you already know his name.
"I'm Frank," he says, a Duchenne smile lighting up his features and crinkling the wrinkles around his eyes. He's handsome, and very friendly. And he was friends with Joel during his marriage to Tess.
He introduces you to his husband Bill, who regards you with a certain suspicion and gives a gruff acknowledgement to your hello. "He's like that with everyone," Franks explains in a stage whisper, while rolling his eyes. "He's just a big grump, but I love him."
"I'm a friend of the bride," you tell them after giving your name, and also introducing Ellie, who's arrived next to you with a plate piled high with shrimp, pulled pork sliders, and mini cheesecakes.
"She's a friend of Joel's," Frank tells Bill, as if to clarify.
"Um, yes.. I'm also a friend of his," you agree. Pretending to spot someone across the room, you excuse yourself, giving a subtle motion for Ellie to follow you, but she stays where she is, popping a whole shrimp in her mouth, eyeing the couple.
"There's a story there," Frank says enticingly as he sips his beer.
"What do you mean?" she asks, curious about the gossip.
Bill gives him a look and shakes his head. "She's a kid, she doesn't need your dramatic stories."
"Now I have to know!" Ellie insists.
Frank feigns annoyance. "Oh all right."
He weaves the tale of Joel and his wife Tess: happily married at first, so alike in attitude and hobbies. She thought she knew everything about the man she married, but when Tommy, in a drunken game of poker one night, recalled a certain young woman who Joel knew, a woman who could tie a knot in a cherry stem with her tongue, Joel told his brother, in a similar drunken state, that he remembered her fondly, missed her like crazy, she was the one who got away.
Tess wasn't the type to hound someone for details, but she didn't like there was a part of Joel's past that she didn't know about. Especially if that past was filled with him falling in love with and screwing a college girl. This naturally led to arguments that Tess refused to drop. Joel didn't want to relive that time with you, and insisted it meant nothing since you were well and truly out of his life.
But the damage had been done, and the thorn of jealousy had pierced Tess's heart. You were a stranger to her and still could not be defeated.
Frank recalled with suppressed glee the night Tess had stormed out on a dinner party, ranting at Joel about "not being able to get over a stupid ass teenager" and causing a scene for the others to eat up. It had embarrassed Joel deeply, but when news of Sarah's wedding had become known, Joel couldn't keep it secret from the friends of his ex-wife. He'd come to like them in his own way, especially Bill, with whom he shared a predilection for quiet and keeping to one's self. They hunted and fished like old times and soon enough both he and Frank were invited to the wedding.
"There's a saying that goes," Frank is telling Ellie, "'everyone can see it but them.'"
Ellie glances at you across the room, and then at Joel. You and he trade silent, surreptitious glances at one another, filled with longing. You glance at him and he catches you before you glance away, and vice versa. The signal between your gazes is irrefutable. There's something there, has been all this time. All it needed was a little meddling from Sarah to bring the spark back to life.
For the first time Ellie sees you as something more than her mother. She realizes you had a past, a life before she was born, and a fraction of that life was spent in love with a man she just met a couple days ago.
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"Hey Mom, can you help?"
Hearing Ellie, you immediately shift into Mom Mode, stopping your own get-ready routine to assist her. She's in your doorway, holding out her wrists. She picked out the suit herself, but the cufflinks are something new.
"Did you get these from your dad?"
"Joel let me borrow them for today."
It's finally the day of the wedding, and as the ceremony isn't until the evening, the whole house is a kind of organized chaos from morning through the afternoon. As if your nerves weren't already on fire, Sarah had approached you early that morning (fortunately for her while you were drinking your coffee) and asked if you'd replace one of her bridesmaids who'd come down with a cold overnight and couldn't attend.
You'd reasoned with her that you didn't have a bridesmaid dress, but that was easily solved when it was revealed the bridesmaids were all wearing jewel tones, and the sapphire gown you'd purchased off the rack would do just fine.
You had anticipated being part of a crowd. Now you'd be at the front of the congregation, all eyes on you, especially Joel's.
Shaking yourself from your thoughts, you finish helping Ellie with her cufflinks and let her entertain you with whatever teenage thought is flipping around in her brain while you touch up your makeup.
"I'm supposed to meet with Sarah and the bridal party at the church. You can ride with me or you'll have to find a ride with someone else."
"Joel will take me."
You brush away some stray powder on your cheek. "Are you sure?"
"Maybe he could take both of us. Want me to ask him?"
"No--"
But she's gone before you can stop her.
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You feel Joel's eyes on you as you during the short drive to the church, and you blame the heat you feel coursing through your body on the seat warmer.
"It's a nice thing you're doin' for Sarah, steppin' in at the last minute," he says, eyes finally on the road.
"I can't let down a bride in need," you say somewhat cheerfully. "She'd do the same for me."
"Maybe at your next wedding." Ellie pipes up from the backseat, and Joel's frown is not lost on you.
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The lead-up to the actual ceremony is a blur, as it was at your own wedding fifteen years before. The bridal party clusters around Sarah, who looks radiant, as she promises she isn't nervous. You can sense her agitation in the way her knee bounces as she's seated, one of the bridesmaids doing a last minute touch up to her hair. The air is heavy with excitement, the scent of hair spray and perfume all around you, reminding you that you're flammable.
"Remember this day," you advise her, and she looks up at you with a grateful smile. "It goes by unbelievably fast."
You wonder if you'll ever have this again, the butterflies in your stomach as you wait for the moment when you see your man at the aisle, awaiting you. You were lucky to have it once. Twice would be an anomaly, considering you haven't had a real relationship in so long.
Joel knocks and, granted entrance, the bridesmaids flutter about, getting ready for their entrance into the church. The bride and her father are left alone, no doubt exchanging words of love before he gives her away to her true love.
You had no one to walk down the aisle with when you were a bride, and the memory threatens to cloud your mind as you take your small bouquet of white roses and camellias. "Canon in D" starts, and the line makes its way down the aisle, towards the altar where Theo and his groomsmen wait.
Situated at the altar, the congregation rises as the music changes, and Sarah walks in, arm in arm with Joel.
Your eyes are on him the entire time, and your heart feels to big to fit in your chest. You've never seen Joel in a suit, but this one is perfectly tailored to his broad, strong physique. His hair is perfectly styled, his grey visible through the curls you long to run your fingers through.
When Sarah and Theo exchange vows your gaze unexpectedly meet Joel's and this time neither of you look away. You catch the glimmer of a tear falling down his cheek, which he does not wipe away. The bride and groom's words seem to ring loud and true: a promise of love through hard times and illness; of love that only grows in each others' absence; of love that does not die even after death.
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The reception is held at the Tipsy Bison, and you marvel at how it's managed to disguise itself once more from a saloon to an elegant wedding atmosphere. A lot of money has gone into the week's events, and you know it's all Joel's doing. He's giving away his daughter, sending her off in style, giving her a day she'll remember forever.
You watch Sarah and Joel during their father-daughter dance, a tradition you didn't get to have yourself. "I Loved Her First" by Heartland starts up by the band onstage, and it tugs on your heartstrings to watch them. In the back of your mind you see them, Joel still thirty-six and Sarah still fourteen. By the time Sarah and Theo have their first dance as husband and wife you're already in the ladies' room, splashing cold water on your face so no one can see you've been crying.
Later, the bridesmaids and groomsmen have scattered, dancing or drinking at the bar, mingling. You stay at your seat at the now nearly-empty wedding party table, fingers twirling the stem of your champagne glass.
Mired in your own thoughts, you don't realize Joel has approached, crouching next to you.
"Dance with me?" he asks, his voice nearly a rasp with how nervous he is.
Wordlessly you take his hand, which practically dwarfs your own, as he leads you to the dance floor. You fall into a rhythm as the band starts up "Tennessee Whiskey", swaying softly to the music. His right hand rests on your lower back, gently guiding you. Your heart pounds as you gaze into his eyes. You haven't been this close to him since the night you conceived Ellie, the fateful night that threw a wrench into all your plans.
"It was a beautiful wedding," you lean in close to be heard over the music.
Joel shivers at your proximity, the brush of your lips against his ear, and he pulls you a little closer. "I'm happy you came all this way for it. You didn't have to."
"I wanted to," you affirm, your hand gliding up to his shoulder.
The air is thick with tension, much like in the days you'd first met. You have to turn away or risk your feelings made known to everyone here.
Ellie's at one of the booths with the dark-haired girl from a couple days ago, watching something on her phone. As the girl laughs you see Ellie looking at her with a warmth you haven't known her capable of for anyone else.
"She's going to hate me for having to take her away again.." you tell him. "I haven't seen her this happy in a long time."
He clears his throat. "Maybe now she has a reason to return." He nods towards Ellie and her new friend.
Your limbs stiffen a little in response. You're not yet ready to think about the future, the possibilities it holds. You've barely begun to mend your friendship with Joel.
"Maybe," you relent, quietly, a promise made in the ether.
Joel's silent as the music moves smoothly in the air between you. His grip tightens on your body as he asks, "She's mine, ain't she?"
You snap from your thoughts, your heart in your throat as you stop dancing. "Excuse me?" Your eyes bore into him, daring him to speak the truth for himself.
"The other day you said 'our daughter'.. the timeline's right, I'm not that bad at math," he manages a smile.
"Joel, I.." you shake your head. "It's all too much. I can't think about this right now."
"Just tell me the truth," he says quietly.
"What would it matter if she was?"
"It'd make a whole hell of a difference. Two daughters, two Miller girls. Don't you think somethin' like that would make me happy?"
For a rare moment you let yourself think about the day your mother came to get you, pull you back home to Houston seeped in shame and regret. She'd lied and manipulated facts to get you on her side. You vowed you'd never be like her or put Ellie through that.
"Yes, Joel.." you whisper. "She's yours.."
The joy that shines in his eyes is like nothing you've ever seen before. When his arms wrap around you your lips find his as if twenty years has never passed between you. Right there, in the middle of the dance floor, you're making out like teenagers.
"I want you," he growls.
"Let's get out of here," you agree.
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You're barely through the front door of his home when he presses you to the wall, his mouth hungry for yours. You hadn't thought you'd experience this level of passion again, but time has not diminished it for either of you.
"Joel," you moan as he presses himself to you, the blunt hardness of his erection teasing you. "Fuck me, Joel.."
He groans at your words, body aching with desire as he goes to his knees in front of you, lifting the hem of your dress. He presses messy kisses along your thighs while his hands roam over your hips and ass, his breath hot against your skin as he approaches the spot he most wants to taste again.
"Been too long, darlin'," he murmurs as he pulls your lacy underwear down your legs. "Been too damn long since I had you like this."
You kick your panties off, hooking one leg over his shoulder as he dives in, tongue lapping at your sweet pussy like a thirsty man finally finding water.
He stays there, tongue dancing between your folds and then tickling your clit, tasting you so deeply that you cry out, head falling back, body arched towards him, fingers tangled in his hair. Joel feasts like a man starved, slurping you up, inhaling your scent that surrounds him. There's nothing about you that's changed. You're still so sensitive to his touch, responsive to his lips, tongue, and now fingers pressed deep inside, finding the spot that makes you scream while his lips purse around your throbbing clit.
He doesn't stop after you come. He feasts on you over and over again, making up for lost time, pleading for your forgiveness this way, literally on his knees until you scream his name, convulsing around his fingers, your honey collecting on his large digits. Only when you feel completely boneless does he remove them gently, licking up your syrupy taste.
Joel picks you up, your dress falling back in to place as he carries you bridal style up to his room.
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All roads have led back to him. No matter where you went, no matter who you chose, Joel was always going to be there at the end of the path, your guiding light, even when you thought you hated him and when you thought he would never choose you again.
Even now, his body over yours, he's the missing piece of the puzzle. He teases you with his cock until you beg him to just put it in, to make you whole again. The glorious slide of his flesh into yours causes you both to gasp and your bodies still for a moment, taking in the significance of this act which you've done so many times before.
He's older now, but his vigor is not gone. He fucks you gently at first, then with impatience, as if he's afraid you'll dissolve like a dream in daylight. You'd know the feel of his cock among any other, the smooth outline and the ridges, the way he's molded his perfect shape into you, marked you years ago when you were a virgin, as if leaving his initials inside you. Mine.
You've never had a man to match him, never had someone so in sync with your body. He knows all your buttons, every dip and valley that his hand caresses. He's mapped out your skin like a cartographer, claiming the land in his own name.
You come almost too quickly the first time, before he flips you on top of him, gripping your hips as you ride him. "Love you," you moan as you come close to the edge again, heart and soul flying ahead of you into the bliss you've only really known with him.
Beneath you Joel's eyes go wide when you come, his hips lifting up into you, warmth spilling into your core.
"Babygirl," he whispers, a choked grunt as he turns pale, his skin clammy and sweaty when he loses consciousness.
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As soon as Sarah and Ellie arrive at the hospital you hug them, overcome with worry for Joel's medical emergency.
"How is he?" Sarah asks, still in her wedding dress. Even in the emergency waiting room she's generating a lot of interested looks her way.
"They just took him in a few minutes ago," you tell her, secretly glad she wasn't there to see her dad in such shape. "I think it was a heart attack.."
"Oh my god," she puts her hand over her mouth and sits on the nearest chair, Ellie right next to her, comforting her.
"The party's winding down at the bar," Ellie explains. "Only a few people know-- Theo, Tommy, Maria.."
"We didn't want to worry anyone else," Sarah adds.
You look at her, heart aching. This is supposed to be her special day.. and if something happens to Joel--
Don't think like that.
The three of you sit down, drinking stale coffee from the machine down the hall. Soon Tommy joins you, Theo staying at the house to keep an eye on Finn.
The worst thoughts poke through your brain, teasing you and taunting you. But at last the doctor comes out, a guy even younger than yourself, green scrubs and white coat.
He talks with the family, letting them know the diagnosis. "It was a silent myocardial infarction, basically a mild heart attack," he explains it. "He's going to be fine and he's resting right now."
"A heart attack?" Tommy and Sarah exclaim together.
"At his age it's not uncommon.. he's fifty-six years old," the doctor checks the chart. "Now, we have him on some aspirin and beta-blockers. Tests show he doesn't have enough blockage to necessitate surgery, but he'll need blood pressure medication and to keep a healthier lifestyle."
"Can we see him?" you ask.
"Yes, two at a time, preferably. We want to keep him calm while we're monitoring him." He checks the chart again and looks at you. "You brought him in, correct, ma'am?"
"Yes.. why?"
"What was Mr. Miller doing before he exhibited symptoms of his coronary event?"
"Um.. what?" you pretend not to understand.
"What was he doing before he had his heart attack?"
"Mild heart attack," Tommy emphasizes.
"Well.." you race to think of what to tell him.
"I take it you were celebrating a wedding," the doctor says, seeing Sarah in her dress and the rest of you in tuxes and gowns and whispers a 'Congratulations' to her.
"Yes. Well, we danced.." you answer, and the doctor keeps his eyes on you as if he knows you're lying.
You go up to him, giving a subtle whisper. "We were.. intimate--"
"Sexual relations," he nods, writing it on the chart. "It's important for us to know what was a causing factor in his event. Now, two at a time can visit him."
Tommy and Sarah go first. He gives you a sly wink. "Y'all were fuckin'!" he teases, passing by. Sarah gives you an excited smile, to which you just purse your lips.
It's quiet but for the bag of Lays Ellie has opened, eating the chips slowly. "So you and Joel?"
You nod.
"But not just tonight.. a long time ago, right?"
There's an odd sensation in your stomach, as if the unspoken truth is fluttering around inside, beating its wings as it tries to find a way out. "I guess there's a lot I need to tell you. But only when you're ready."
Ellie seems to steel herself for whatever conversation is on the way, nodding at last, crumpling up the bag and tossing it in the bin. "Ready."
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Seeing Joel in the hospital bed is a sobering visual. Years ago your age gap represented something illicit, scandalous. Now you're reminded that no matter what road you and he take from here, you will most likely outlive Joel Miller.
He's awake when you and Ellie go in. It's obvious he doesn't like being here, but in his current state is not fit to complain.
"Hey," you say softly, going to his side. "How are you feeling?" You caress his cheek with the back of your hand.
Joel's eyes close at your delicate touch, and when he opens them there's a warmth in them that can't be denied. "I've been better, babygirl," he says. "But I'm damn glad you're here."
He glances at Ellie, seated in a chair on his other side. "And how about you, kiddo? You okay?"
"Am I okay?" she says incredulously. "Dude, I'm not the one in a hospital bed." But her face clearly shows relief that Joel's all right. You also see her brain working over everything you've told her (well, the gist of it.. there are some things she doesn't need to know).
"I was so worried," you tell him, your voice soft and warm, all your feelings coming to the forefront. "I thought I was gonna lose you."
Tears appear in Joel's eyes, which he brushes away impatiently. "You ain't losin' me yet, baby. Not for a long time, not if you don't want to."
"Joel.." you whisper. "Do you really want to do this? After everything that's happened.. all the hurt we put each other through.. all the secrets.." you cast a glance at Ellie, who looks more reserved than you've ever seen her before. Sensing this is a moment you want to share alone, she gives a fleeting smile before she leaves, giving Joel a playful mock hit on his shoulder. Still smiling, Joel pats the space beside him in the bed and you snuggle in with him, his body warm.
"Haven't you figured it out yet?" Joel asks softly, eyes imploring you. "You're mine and I'm yours. That's how this thing of ours operates: you belong to me and I belong to you. Despite everything that's happened in the last twenty years, that's been the one constant." His hands grips yours, thumb running over your knuckles. "I don't care if I've got thirty years or thirty days left of my life. I wanna spend the rest of it with you, babygirl."
You search his eyes, seeing nothing there but the truth, laid bare and ready for you to either accept or deny.
He continues, "I don't wanna keep failin' you. I'm too much in love to let you go again." Then he gently lifts your chin, making sure you meet his eyes. "But only if you want me back."
Some would say you're on a precipice in the choice you're about to make, but it's not that difficult to choose. It's simply the separate paths you're on, converging at last. for good.
"You're the only one I've ever wanted," you whisper. It's not a fancy declaration of truth, a bit surprising coming from an English teacher, but it's the only thing Joel needs to hear before he pulls you close for another kiss.
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Joel's released on Christmas Eve, and the two of you don't waste any time.
You and Joel are married in a small, intimate ceremony in the spacious living room of his home. Ellie, Sarah, Theo, Finn, Tommy, Maria, Sofia, Ruby, and even Bill and Frank are in attendance, watching as a judge from town and friend of the Millers officiates.
Joel promises you a nicer wedding when the frost thaws, anywhere you want in the world. You tell him you can't imagine a more perfect place to marry the most perfect man for you.
Your first wedding went by in a blur, but this time around you engrave it upon your heart, make note of every little skip of your heart when you and Joel hold hands, his delicate touch as he places a gorgeous sapphire ring on your hand, the sweetness of his lips when you share your first kiss as husband and wife.
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After Christmas, Sarah and Theo leave for their honeymoon to Maui, and with the weather more agreeable the guests take leave too. Tommy sees to it that you and Joel have your house all to yourselves for your own honeymoon.
You insist on taking it easy with Joel, but he tells you he'd rather die while inside you, his name pouring from your lips the last thing he ever hears. He seems to get a second wind with you, making use of every possible flat surface in the house. You feel better about such activity when he takes his medication, promising to take it faithfully so long as you follow it with a kiss.
One morning after a particularly strenuous night, while drinking coffee in the kitchen and discussing your plans, Ellie returns, calling out to you before she enters.
"You're not doing anything gross in there, are you?"
"No," Joel laughs.
"Yes we are, we're working on making a sibling for you," you smirk over your coffee, glancing at Joel and giving a little shake of your head when his eyes go wide.
"Gross," she mutters, walking in. "Joel, Tommy says everyone's meeting at the Tipsy Bison for lunch later. But he couldn't get through to you on the phone." She makes a playful, pointed look, eyeing the two of you.
She's lukewarm to the idea of calling Joel 'Dad', and there's going to be some legal hoops to go through regarding Justin and his parental claim. But it all seems so small in comparison to the problems that plagued you before. You can get through anything because now you have each other.
You and Joel get ready as Ellie goes back to Tommy's, enjoying spending her time with Finn and getting ready to leave with them instead.
Unable to keep your hands off each other, it takes you twice as long to get dressed, hands going into each other's back pockets, lips finding each other's throats.
There's all the time in the world for it now.
Driving up to the Tipsy Bison, Joel turns on the radio. "Cherry, Cherry" starts to play, and you sing along with Neil Diamond, catching your husband's eye as he smiles and sings along too. The road before you is smooth, mountains standing guard in the distance, staying the same grand height no matter how far along you drive. Joel's hand finds yours, presses a kiss to it before entwining your fingers.
"Babe?"
"Yes, Mrs. Miller?"
You smile. "Let's not go right away. Let's drive around a little, play this song again, just soak in this moment."
"Of course, babygirl. I don't want to share you with the others just yet anyway."
Neil continues on the radio: No, we won't tell a soul where we gone to Girl, we do whatever we want to Ah, I love the way that you do me Cherry, babe, you really get to me
It's come full circle, and it only took two decades to complete. You and Joel in his truck, your song playing, the sun shining through the hazy clouds. You could close your eyes and it'd be 2003 again.
dividers by @saradika-graphics 👑
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citruzs · 11 hours ago
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Life series session 7 predictions
(I wrote this myself, don't worry if you saw it on the wiki discussion page, that was me <3. A day late bc Thanksgiving was crazy, Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrated it, btw)
Jimmy will perma-die, as well as two other people.
There will be at least one lime green left over for session 8, OR the last time green will be killed this session.
Someone will be the direct reason for someone's death, and will feel terrible about it.
A big betrayal will happen (BigB does not count because he's been ping-ponging from The G's to Ren and Martyn, UNLESS he kills Ren, Martyn, or one of the G's)
Grian will move in with the Family or try and move in with the Bamboozlers after Tim will supposedly die.
One of the G's will perma-die
Someone will kill Ren and Martyn will want revenge
Someone will genuinely kill Gem and she will give them props but will get revenge later
Tango will be murdered, presumably by Grian for Skizz
Wildcard guesses 😎
(OKAY SO I WAS LURKING ON TUMBLR AND I SAW SKIZZ'S AND MUMBO'S SKIN CHANGE AND I'M SO EXCITED FOR TMRW, AND MY GUESSES WILL BE BASED OF OFF IT)
Kind of like that one session of Secret life, but Zombie tag. Mumbo and Skizz will rise from their graves tagging (killing) people, who will then kill someone else and it will spread like a virus. (I think this will get rid of all the lime greens, and get everyone to red and at least a few yellows)
Mumbo and Skizz are either allowed in creative mode for a short amount of time, or they will be decked out and told to kill people. (Skizz will go for Tango if this is the case.)
Mumbo and Skizz can activate wildcards whenever they want, Including ones that haven't been done yet.
That's all I could come up with, excited for next session!! :D
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that-starry-sky · 3 days ago
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‧₊ ᵎᵎ ☁️ MINE AND YOURS ๋࣭ ⭑
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SYNOPSIS: basically a small series of relationships of different characters
Character: Diluc Ragvindr — Genshin Impact
[Strongly OOC, I tried to make it fit the character as much as possible.)
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THE BEGINNING
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ First of all, Diluc is a closed person, he doesn't really let anyone get too close to him, perhaps his servants would be the closest thing to a family. I would say that Diluc's trip made him not know how to talk to the people he had contact with without it being awkward.
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Not to mention the problems he may have, things like insecurities, trust issues, maybe fear of abandonment and he may or may not a dubious depression It would be difficult to get close to Diluc, you would have to be very persistent to get close to him.
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ But if you are persistent enough and give enough trust for him to deign to allow you to be closer to him, it would still be a something, You might see each other more often when the tavern is closed and then Diluc will allow himself to be a little more vocal, But it doesn't say much either
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ I wouldn't have much to say about this stage, since I feel that it would be the same as in the game when Diluc enters the scene, Distant but always willing to help those who were once closest to him and who he possibly considers his closest, but it is a complicated situation.
THE BEGINNING OF THE PRE-COURTSHIP
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ When Diluc begins to feel things more significant than those of a simple friend, I would say that he would feel conflicted, his insecurities, his fears would trap him like a rabbit in an open trap. He wants to go with you but he's afraid that the trap will close and he'll end up more hurt.
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ He knows he is handsome, his name has influence and above all, his money, He notices how the maidens presented to him at parties do not look at him for what is behind his appearance, name and fortune. It is a reality that he has already accepted and that he and other aristocrats face.
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ He knows that his dreams of meeting a girl, falling in love and marrying for love when he was a young boy are nothing more than distant and childish dreams. But now with you in the photo, that conflict floods his mind, It doesn't leave him alone between the decision of taking a risk and loving or not.
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ He knows that love challenges you to too many things, loving means changes, time and dedication, It challenges you to care for others and if you are not able to do so, maybe you are not as ready for love as one thinks.
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ He is willing to do that, to face the challenges that love would have for him, At least he believes that if it is for someone he treasures, it is worth the attempt and the risk.
˚    ✦   .  .   ˚ .      . ✦     ˚     
   .     ˚     *     ✦   .  .   ✦ ˚       
It was late at night, he had arrived from his job as a night guard in Mondstadt, tired and a little hurt but nothing really serious other than arrow scratches and some scrapes, He was dressed in more casual clothes than he naturally wore. He was cleaning his heavy sword while thinking about his heart.
He knows that his heart is his greatest enemy. So many feelings can leave him exposed to things that would hinder him in his work... But it felt good, too good to just let it go.
Could he really let his heart rule his mind for once in his life? Let himself be vulnerable and let you see what he's really like? Let you see his insecurities, fears, would you accept him if he let you see that? That without money, power and influence he would be nothing more than a broken man with many defects.
Even though he was afraid to do it, he wanted to.
He wanted to be with you, through thick and thin, to be able to hold your hands when you're cold and to be able to dry your tears, Even if the thought of just seeing your face stained with sadness hurt.
He is willing to embrace you with all the love he can give, to give it to you on a silver platter, He just waits for you to be willing to let him hold you and love you, He expects that and that you return that and that it is sincere, not something fake just to say "look at me, I'm dating Diluc Ragvindr, The uncrowned king". you're not like everyone else (you're not, I hope...)
He followed leaving sword finally, clean and ready for the next night, soon went to the window, seeing the starry night, Thinking about what he should do, he wants to court you, but he doesn't really know how.
He knows the basics yes, but after his 3 year journey and too much time alone he really lost a lot of his social skills, Minimal does the essentials for the formal, but you are more than a formal occasion.
That night he lay awake, not fighting monsters, but thinking about how he should approach and court you.
˚    ✦   .  .   ˚ .      . ✦     ˚     
   .     ˚     *     ✦   .  .   ✦ ˚        
PROPOSAL OF COURTSHIP
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ I feel like Diluc at this stage would be somewhat indirect, testing the waters a bit with small, anonymous gifts to see if it's the right time to go direct, Make clear your intentions with you.
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Here it would depend too much on your reaction to the gifts, depending on that, Diluc may or may not delay his courtship, He really wants to play it safe, at least at the beginning of this, Then he would be encouraged to be more risky when he gains more confidence.
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ If your reaction is happiness, intrigue and even excitement for each gift, he would feel too happy internally, now thinking about directly going to you and letting you know that he wants to court you. And if possible, be able to establish a loving relationship
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ If your reaction is neutral, annoyed, or even displeased for each gift, you may be perpetuating his insecurities further and his direct courtship may not come until much later. (He's little one, take care of him)
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Assuming (forcing) that your reaction is the first, he will directly send you a letter that is perhaps too formal and elegant to ask your permission to openly court you, Being clear with you, Ready to give you his feelings, his heart was in a state of uncertainty as he waited for your response.
˚    ✦   .  .   ˚ .      . ✦     ˚     
   .     ˚     *     ✦   .  .   ✦ ˚        
With trembling hands he left a letter at your house, his grip was so strong that he would be able to tear the paper or even burn it with his vision without meaning to.
He was scared, the night guard who went through hardships at a very young age was scared by a simple letter, but he could afford it right? For at least this moment.
Without thinking too much, he left the letter that had a scented envelope and the stamp that made it clear that it was from Dawn Winery, He soon retreated to a distant place but had a view of your house, he did not like the idea of doing this but if you reject it, At least he will be able to mentally prepare himself before you come with him.
He watched as you walked out, noticing his letter, his heart tightening as he watched you carefully open the letter and begin to read.
“For [Y/N]
It may be a bit strange that you receive a letter, but I thought it was more appropriate, since possibly if I had you in front of me the words would not come out of me no matter how much I wanted to say them.
Actually, in order not to make this long, I will go straight to the point.
This question has been haunting me and I thought it appropriate to finally reach out to you and ask. Would you allow me to court you?
You know, court you directly and see if something more blossoms between us, if you are willing to accept my proposal and let me get closer to you, more than friends.
I will wait for your response patiently, take the time you need.
Sincerely, Diluc Ragvindr”
As the redhead watched your eyes pass over his words with enviable calligraphy and something too elegant, maybe he worried about it too much, But he really cared now what you would do now that you had reached the end of his letter.
He was only able to see how you brought the scented envelope to cover your face and how you apparently smiled while you smelled the envelope softly. Apparently you were happy with his proposal.
He only hoped that it would be like that and that it would be the beginning of something more beautiful and meaningful for both of them.
˚    ✦   .  .   ˚ .      . ✦     ˚     
   .     ˚     *     ✦   .  .   ✦ ˚        
COURTSHIP
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ At this stage Diluc would be more than dedicated, fulfilling what he promised, because of how he was educated he was obviously a gentleman and respectful, It is impossible for me to treat you with less than the greatest respect
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Sure he would be shy and a bit rough at first, but the more and more time he spends with you, the more he will warm up and everything would be really sweet.
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Also that at this stage despite doing everything directly, he really wants to keep it as private as possible, he knows that if he says something it will spread like wildfire and everything will burn.
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ It's not something that really bothers you either, at the end of the day, in his empty tavern he's really cute, Or even when you escape from Mondstadt for a bit to wander through the beautiful meadows of Mondstadt
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ I really don't think he has anything new to add for this phase other than what has already been said about him, quite a gentleman, shy but cute...
˚    ✦   .  .   ˚ .      . ✦     ˚     
   .     ˚     *     ✦   .  .   ✦ ˚        
It was late at night, Diluc was having dinner in his office while thinking about the best way to woo you and be able to have a chance at a relationship with you, His mind was full of doubts, something unusual for someone as sure of everything as he was, what should he do?...
The door to his office opened after a few knocks, the blonde-haired maid, Adelinde, entered with a tray of tea and desserts, Smiling softly as she greeted him.
Adelinde left the tray, she was going to leave but. —Adelinde, wsit— The young master suddenly said, stopping her.
—Yes, Master Diluc? What do you need?— The maid turned around, facing him and waiting patiently for the redhead to continue, although she noticed that he was... nervous?
Yes, he was nervous and hid it very well, but after so many years working alongside Diluc, she knew how to read him perfectly, even if he hid his feelings very well, Even from its employees-
—Do you have any advice for courting someone?— his eyes sparkled and his cheeks blushed. —There is a person I want to court, but I really don't know what is the best way to do it, can you help me?— His eyes desperately searching for help with her, like a baby duck searching for its mother.
The maid's eyes were wide in surprise, not believing what she was hearing, The young master, Diluc, the closed-off and mysterious man from the vineyard, in love?!,Who is this and what did he do to Diluc? Bring him back!.
Leaving the jokes aside she smiled while her eyes sparkled, Diluc was waiting for her answer to his big question, Adelinde was the closest thing he had to a mother, he supposes it is a good idea to seek her guidance.
She soon sat down in the chair on the other side of his office desk, excited by this situation.
The night passed between food and tea, Adelinde asked everything, when and how he met you, Soon she gave him advice and guidance to help the young lover.
Now we just have to wait for the moment when she sees you holding hands.
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   .     ˚     *     ✦   .  .   ✦ ˚        
RELATIONSHIP
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Here you enter a more dense and personal environment, when you accept that proposal of love, accepting to be his partner, his love, you reach a higher level of intimacy, vulnerability and fear.
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ This stage is where I have the most to say to be honest, because I would like to go deeper here.
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Be prepared to be this man's safe place when he can't walk because of his nocturnal activities once he tells you about them, You'd better leave the window open enough so he can get in without waking you up, Although in the morning you will meet a hugging bear
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ In these vigilante activities that he does, it is impossible for him not to get hurt, a constant but inevitable concern, It will be normal that if you are awake when he comes to you, you will have to help him.
˚    ✦   .  .   ˚ .      . ✦     ˚     
   .     ˚     *     ✦   .  .   ✦ ˚        
Another difficult night, they managed to give him some good blows, and more than grazing him with arrows and more, apparently there were more enemies this time, the more tired he was, the more difficult it was.
But it was something that no matter how tired or damaged I was, I had to do, so that Mondstadt could sleep peacefully, so that you would be fine, He will die in the dark if necessary.
Although if he thinks about it, he would prefer to see you one more time before he dies, the moment where he has to be buried before his time comes to his mind, Hopefully at least he'll have a photo of you when he's buried.
A photo so that he doesn't forget your features that he memorizes and traces every night, so that he isn't afraid of being down there, meters underground, To be able to go in dreams with you and thus be able to feel more alive, That's what he expects and they do, of course, if he dies before his time.
But right now he can't allow that, he got up and walked with too much pain in his body, too much pain and even burning, He slowly went to Mondstadt, he couldn't go to his vineyard, so he went straight to the safest place he knows.
After a painful walk he finally reaches your door or rather your window, he climbs in, his body being in too much pain to climb properly, But when he arrived the only thing he didn't take into account was that you were awake, Seeing how his body was about to collapse.
He just felt your arms wrap around his larger body that trembled gently, feeling you finally felt good, he relaxed but his body relaxed so much that he let his tiredness win
You only saw his face, somewhat dirty with dirt and somewhat scraped and leaning on your chest as he slept peacefully after going through hardships, He looked like an innocent child who was seeking refuge in the arms of the person he loves most, you.
You knew his story, how he was technically taught to be a gentleman in his younger years, not to be running the vineyard, even when he was deep in depression.
It is a shame that he lived through things so young that were too heavy and that he did not have to go through, he deserved to continue being a gentleman and he deserved to continue having his father, But life had other plans, plans too cruel that took away his smile and innocence.
Plans that took him on a journey where he was alone, fending for himself, where his hands became more calloused and where his innocence fell to pieces, Only to come back, be replaced and actually be even lonelier.
For tonight now you would have to take care of this young man who carries too many responsibilities, too heavy even for his biggest and strongest shoulders...
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-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ I think at some point in the relationship, maybe 1 or 2 years, maximum 3 or 4 years, he would invite you to live at his vineyard, His feelings and thoughts would depend a lot on your answer again.
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ If you accept, it would be nothing new, Diluc would feel happy and excited to be able to live next to you and the move would really be quick.
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ If you decline his invitation he will only become shy and apologize for his hasty request, although his heart would be somewhat disappointed.
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Again, assuming (forcing) that your reaction is the first one, Your life would change noticeably but not so drastically, it's not like your life would turn 180 degrees 5 times, As much as possible, it would be largely the same
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ The most significant thing would be that Adelinde would treat you as if you were her daughter, I have the thought that Adelinde is very maternal, Not only with Diluc but also with the rest of the staff, she is motherly but strict.
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ So considering that, expect the blonde maid to treat you with too much love and motherly affection, The morning will be pleasant even if Diluc could not accompany you for breakfast, Adelinde was there to talk to you.
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ The rest of the staff would be the same, although to a lesser extent, everyone would be happy to have you there and it is more happiness when they see the love between you and the young master.
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Although the best mornings are when he can be with you until he leaves, without any intervention from anyone, just you and him.
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You woke up, it was early in the morning, too early, early enough for you to see how the blue barely filled the room through the windows, you turned around, somewhat annoyed by your early awakening.
Although when you turned around and could see better, you saw how your lover was at the window, looking at the sky with something illuminated.
You smiled sleepily. —You know, it’s too cold without you here Luc.— The tired voice caught the attention of the redhead who immediately turned around and smiled, a smile just for you.
—I'm sorry, I didn't think of that.— He approached the bed as he spoke, climbing onto the bed, resting his head on his arm as he hugged you with the other arm. —Let me warm you up then— He said affectionately.
He hugged you, making your head rest on his chest while he covered you with the thick, soft blankets, He began to tenderly ruffle your hair while giving you kisses on the forehead, his pyro vision doing a perfect job warming you up.
Between his caresses, his kisses, his soft heartbeat in your ear like a lullaby, Its warmth causing sleep to attack your body again to take you back to the world of dreams.
He held you against his chest gently as he let you sleep leaning against him, being able to see your peacefully sleeping face, running his fingers over your face softly, Trying not to wake you up.
Tonight he will take care of you and protect you while you sleep, Just like you did and do.
Although looking at your face he can see everything he fights for at night, so that you and the inhabitants of Mondstadt can continue sleeping peacefully, And he will fight for that every minute of his life if it means that you and his beloved city are okay.
And he is so grateful to have someone who greets him with loving words and not silence, Someone who hugs him with warm arms instead of the cold wind, just as he has someone who caresses his wounds and scars and does not make them deeper.
He is a lonely knight, who longs for the dawn to appear on his dark path, but it will never do so, he is eternally condemned to this darkness.
But with you by his side, that darkness is more bearable, even in his deepest darkness, you with your warm, orange light illuminate that darkness to which he is accustomed.
Just you and him, Together
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-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Naturally when he can't be with you he always leaves you a note and a flower promising to return to your arms as soon as possible, Telling you to stay safe and that Adelinde is there if anything happens.
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ With his staff, of course, you spend the most time, whether it's chatting with Adelinde while she cooks, Have friendly conversations with Elzer, although sharing moments of a younger Diluc, just don't tell him
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ You would also have afternoons where you would help old Tunner with the grapes while he tells you things about his son and stories that he has for you.
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Even Charles joins this list, being that sometimes you go to the tavern even if Diluc is not there, just to make conversation with him and help him a little.
‧-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ In themselves they all loved you and respected you and they would enjoy the little moments, they are also happy that the Diluc who always looked sad, At last he has someone waiting for him and with whom to return.
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Finally, Master Diluc had someone to call family.
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The mornings were calm and normal, the sun was warm and the clouds did not make an appearance, Adelinde was taking care of the flowers outside while watching them out of the corner of her eye.
You and Master Diluc under a tree together, chatting and laughing, she can't remember the last time she saw Diluc smile so sincerely and so lovingly.
It was incredible how you made your way into his frozen heart and how you took care of that heart that, although hard on the outside, was soft on the inside, Longing for someone to hold him with as much love as you do.
Adelinde smiled softly as she watched them being little love birds.
The love you and he had for each other was evident, as pure and sincere as it could be, She knew it because she had seen it, how you hugged Diluc in the living room while he was relaxing after his activities.
She had seen how he put a lot of effort into every gift he gave and even in the soft and delicate way he spoke to you, Even as he feared that some gift you might not like, which was always an unnecessary fear.
She smiled softly as she saw them hugging under the tree, young Diluc looked more relaxed, without worries or tensions that made his body really straight, it was simply a nice moment between a young couple who loved each other very much.
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-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Although nothing could be all positive, rosy, just as you had nice and happy moments, you also had bad moments, moments where you argued, arguments are normal, But painful
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Also accidentally that pain could increase because of things that should not have been said, things that crossed the line of what should be said in an argument, Things that hurt deeply
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ For the two of you, that rule was no exception, many times you said things just because of the tense moment, Stupid things.
-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ But with the same love that you showed each other when you were well, you could cope...
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It was very late at night, how much? You don't know, that doesn't matter, the only thing that matters is that a few minutes ago you were arguing with Diluc, for something stupid now that you think about it coldly, A misunderstanding that escalated to too much...and now? You hurt Diluc with words, words you didn't want to say but your subconscious won over.
God, they were so cruel that you can't even remember exactly what you said, you only remember Diluc's pained face, as well as his beautiful eyes that you loved to crystallize and fill with tears, Only those tears never made their way down his cheeks.
Now he was out in the open somewhere, Fighting monsters maybe, but you couldn't help but worry about him, especially after this.
You knew that you had no right to feel bad, you hurt him in the first place, but you didn't ask to avoid feeling guilty, A feeling that spread from the depths of your heart until it tightened your throat and almost prevented you from breathing.
The hours passed without you noticing because of the repetition of that moment, the blue morning dominating the room, cold passing and freezing you. Diluc would be hugging you if he found you like this, since he always tried to come back a little earlier, But not today, not now...
You came out of your trance hearing the door of the room, turning to look, you saw that person you were thinking about so much, Only now she was disheveled, polite and somewhat sore, apparently he was more careless during his hours of surveillance.
You got out of bed gently as he entered just as gently, your bare feet touching the cold floor, taking a small step closer to him, Only his sudden glance at you made you stop, They both looked at each other, Tired and clearly regretful eyes looking at his more serious but still crystallized ones.
You approached him gently and not abruptly, making sure he could predict your every move. You knew he was hurt and distressed but above all scared.
You just raised your hand to his cheek, though not touching it, you just waited for his movement, letting him decide... Sooner or later he leaned completely on your hand, Like a kitten looking for warmth.
Your eyes watered, and you hugged him just as he hugged you, as tightly as you, He began to tremble as he let the tears he had been holding back come out like rain on a cold day.
You just stayed hugging him while you caressed his back, trying to comfort him, now you had to be strong and above all, recognize and apologize.
—I'm really sorry... I shouldn't have said that, I didn't even have to if I was too angry, You don't deserve to be treated in such an ugly way, much less when you tried to explain it to my stubborn head.— With a somewhat broken voice you asked for forgiveness, while you continued to hug him.
He gently pulled away to look into your eyes, seeing in your eyes that you were truly sorry and that you truly sought his forgiveness, He nodded, accepting them, although at bedtime he wasn't in the mood to hug you and you understood that.
It would take a little less than a week for them to fully reconcile, but the hardest thing would be sleeping without him hugging you.
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P.S.: I feel that it was somewhat empty and without exploring too many things, but what do you say?
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red-carter · 11 hours ago
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Giving Thanks
Now, I've seen my friends and their posts and replying. I wanted to make my own because I know that this one is going to be pretty long. At least, I have an idea that it's going to be pretty long. I won't be able to tag everyone, seeing as I don't know everyone's tumblrs and such like that. There's also going to be some not tags because I'd be too scared to actually tag these people.
I'm so very very thankful for everyone who's come into my life in the last year. I'm thankful to those who've been in my life for several years. My bestest sibs who won't likely see this for the many years that I've been with them, since first grade, middle school, beginning of high school and everyone in between. Those who I call family (not blood related), because you, and everyone I'm about to mention, have helped me in so many ways. As well as just because I'm so happy to have met you. Even if this is just for a season, long or short, I'm so glad to have made the friends and family that I've come across. Who've just been chill, or been there for us.
Thank you @imaginethat0327 for being an inspiration and being the person who helped me step out of my scared and anxious lil bubble I'd created around myself. You're such a lovely person, and I really look forward to our talks, no matter how long apart they are from the last one. Also big thanks to Livie because they've also been such a joy to have met and chat with. Always look forward to our chats <3 Through them I've also met @nyxcentury who's just as lovely. Though we've not talked too much, always love seeing you around. Same goes with Tipthewaitress (dunno their tumblr, so I hope that they see this), and the other lovelies of the Rescue Fire discord server.
@cat-in-the-desert .... I... There's so many things I'm thankful for from you. I'm so thankful that we got to meet, and that you've been such a wonderful friend to the point I consider you one of my closest friends. Genuinely. You're such a lovely person, always looking forward to our chats and hangouts <3
Really quickly, I'm so thankful to have come across @\nightdreamdraws art and animatics, and her AUs... They're so cool and I always look forward to any new art or ideas that they share. Cherrifire with seeing her creative take on the life series, and the amazing things they've done in this community. Magnifique! (Wish I could properly spell that word, apologies if it's wrong, or has no accents, I'm just trying to be wholesome here.... :)) There's so many others, their animatics, art, animations, edits, that I'm so thankful that I've gotten to see because everyone is amazing! I swear-!!! <3 <3 <3 <3
@ezzriin stares and blinks with an ever growing smile You're a lovely lil guy that I'm so grateful to have met. I wanna squish you /pos. I might have to DM you another paragraph I swear— So lovely, and a wonderful chaotic gremlin that I hold dear in my heart.
@foxhunter350 I would write a full paragraph if I could right now, but I'm trying to keep these short.... I'm thankful to have met you. Getting to write ideas and such with you has been such a blast, looking forward to more with you mate. So very grateful to have you in my life. /gen
@nine-of-diamonds, @1watermelontea, @crabbri stares blankly at you three You're all so amazing, I'm thankful that I came across Chasing The Horizon Line and got to meet you. The butterfly affect is something I think about constantly, and so thankful for in this situation. The chaos and fun that we've all had, I cherish it with my whole heart. Thank you for the amazing series to read and the fun times we've had and will have in the future. (please leave me out of this big ass polycule, not professing my love to you lot just yet, again.... /vsilly)
@writingwithaglassquill Quilly, Eilly, my beautiful darling of a muse? /silly /lh /p Lmao, sorry, that was a weird way to start this. I'm thankful to you, and I know I've told you this many times, but I'm forever grateful for coming across your story IHTH because it really gave me the urge to want to write again. You've done so much, you're a fabulous person, and I'm so glad to have met someone like you. A steady head to keep me from just completely sinking. (this is me professing my love /vsilly /j /p) Genuinely so thankful to have met you when I did, looking forward to the future ahead.
@gildedmicah18 Meka-Meka... Darling Micah. /vsilly /lh /p You're such a wonderful person to chat with, always looking forward to our chats. Thankful to have you in my life you amazing cutie you! (Really really wanna squish you and also may or may not see you as a little sibling.)
@nyxtheeclipse Hai. You're a cutie. <3 .... Yes, I was tempted to just leave it at that. My bad XD Anywooooo!~ Thankful to you Nyx for everything you've done. You're an amazing person, love you lots mate! Very creative, and always looking forward to what you make and share!
@yourfavouritevigilante (hoping this tags.... it's being funky) You're such a lovely individual, along with your system. We all love you. You're all like siblings to us and we're so very very thankful to have met you Tobes. Genuinely, we're always looking forward to getting to chat or hang out with you lot. So fun to joke with, or pick fun with each other or stopping fights (like earlier XD). Genuinely though, and I may say this far too much, we love you so very much. See you like a little sibling for reals. Or child, depending on if it's us, or Impy, Skizzy, and Jess. So grateful to have gotten to know you and hang out with you lots, squishing you all. (except those who don't like getting hugs which is a-okay)
@peridot-the-kitten .... Okay, I genuinely forgot the words I was going to start off with XD. I love that I've just confused you in CTHL hahahahah. I'm so thankful to have met you Lain. You're a lovely and creative individual that now? I can't believe you scared me before XD. Grateful to have met you, and gotten to know you. So many jokes and fun has been had, and you've been a wonderful grounding point in lots of stuff that's happened as well. Always looking forward to our chats and hangout sesses.... sessions.... Love you lots!!! (totally professing my love /vsilly /j /p)
@moonstarsongs You're a darling sweetheart of an angst lover. You've been such a wonderful friend and lovely individual to chat with. So very thankful to have met you and that I get to chat with you whenever we can (since different time schedules and whatnot). <3 <3 <3
@archaic-dragon You're very lovely, so glad that we've gotten to chat and whatnot. Seriously, so very thankful. You're amazing, got so much creativity, it's been wonderful to get to hang out and whatnot. Always looking forward to chats with you or gaming and such. Thank you Arcy!
@will-falling-fell Haven't chatted with you too much, at least that I'm thinking back on. But you're a sweetheart from what I can remember. I see you chatting with the others in CTHL and stuff, and it always brings a smile to our face. Grateful to have met you, even if we don't talk much right now, hoping to get to chat with you more in the future. <3 <3 <3 <3
@tinydekuscrub Hai darling! Love you lots. So very grateful to have met you. Pretty sure I say this almost anytime we chat really. You're a lovely person, and we love chatting with you and everyone else. Thanks for dealing with our smart and dumbass XD, and looking forward to all future chats and hangouts. (Guys, I swear, I'm too gay for this person, I really really wanna write more XD)
There's still many more people I could write out thanks for, but for now, I think it's best that this be it for a bit. Again, thank you to everyone who we've gotten to meet, who's given us ideas, given us new life and fun things to look forward to. Lots of good times in the future. Here's to another year of fun and laughter and even in the not-so-good-times, love you all so much!
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xiuminsmygrandpa · 2 days ago
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I have a few things to add. Her parents only ever gave her attention if she acted out and that’s the only way she was able to fit in and make friends. Plus I also think it’s exhausting hearing all of the pain and anguish of other’s both living and dead. She is truly alone in the world and feels the only way she can be loved is by hurting others.
Which also parallels what it’s like to be a teenage girl when it feels like the entire world is out to get you and the injustice makes you so angry you say and do things you regret later in life.
It’s only after Charles gives her a chance and sticks up for her when no one else would that she begins to become the person we see at the end of the series. Because no one has believed in her or loved her. I also love how this parallels the reason for death in the first place and ties into a core theme of the show “the power of friendship.” I know this has become a meme but all of the core characters in the show struggle to find acceptance and make friends but they find it in each other.
As someone who used to be an angry teenage girl I deeply sympathize with her character and it bothers me how much shit she gets from the fandom. Did she say and do awful things pre-canon? Yes. But it’s meant to show that people can grow and change. And if two boys who were both killed by bullies accept that she is a different person I think the fandom should too!
"crystal is selfish" okay but have you considered that maybe it felt like if she didn't care for herself than nobody ever would because up until port townsend, everyone (esp her parents) proved time and time again that they didn't care about her. have you thought about that
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niti-who · 11 months ago
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NO PLEASE NO.... 😭😭 At least we had a nice happy ending in Season 2 and I was able to get to know you dear fans. And thanks to the series, Rhys and Cryptid Factor too. And I was able to experience Taika as an actor. (one of the few times I've seen him) I just say THANK YOU DAVID!! Our captain 🫡🏳️‍🌈🏴‍☠️ Don't Forget.. We talk it Through.. as A Crew..
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nicecrumbart · 3 months ago
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I'm pretty sure this question pops up every week on trafficblr but which teams do people want to see next series??
My personal wish, which I don't see many people seeing at all, is Grian and Scott because they are as similar as they are equally different (ones impulsive and the other calculating but both very lonely), and it's also someone who made the rules Vs someone who always tries to get around them SO I think it would be very funny. AND v likely narratively interesting tehe.
(Also first time Scotts teaming with someone who has already won so i'm interested if his martyring would stay the same (probably lbr))
Honourable mentions I just want to see bc it would be fun:
Lizzie and scar
Jimmy and gem /+ pearl
Martyn and gem
Lizzie and mumbo (this seems like a disaster... Yes pls)
Cleo and Jimmy
Cleo and Joel (...fire everywhere probably a bad idea)
Joel and Gem
Jimmy and ethos (literally a mystery of a duo I have no idea what would happen)
Any of these could be combined together or added to but it's easier to come up with duo ideas!
Also disclaimer just included people I see/watch the most so I've got the best idea in the dynamics, need to know more abt the others for more lists 💔
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biblically-accurate-dca · 6 months ago
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KILL!!!!!!!!!
#my post#this is so mean. why did i make this#but also....... the gun is in your hands now#i'll admit that it's my fault for putting the gun in your hand... however i've no say in what you choose to do with it#will you pull the trigger and accept whatever happens from now on? will you give yourself into the role forced upon you?#no one will know anything if you don't say anything. there will be no consequences or repercussions to this choice#but you will know. and you will need to live with that knowledge for the rest of your life#a gun not fired is like an itch not stratched#in the end i have no control over what you do... but free will is a funny thing#the brain is very susceptible to suggestion... everything we see and experience will remain with us in some way#if that's the case then how much control do we really have in our lives? how do we separate what we really want vs what we're told to want?#things like hunger... desire... they're all things the body asks for. but are they things that we truly want?#or are they merely a mechanism built into us for the sake of survival?#everything blends into everything. your past actions will inform your current actions. you're the only one who's ever lived your life#you're the only one who will ever live your life#little variables and experiences we all share... but the order varies greatly from person to person. everything is just a series of events#the way i see the world is different than the way you see it regardless of how similar they are#what choice will you make now? and how does it differ from the choice you would've made a week ago? a month? a year? does it differ at all?#does free will truly exist? i think it does... but not in the way most people think it exists#you and i... we might differ on that thought. or we might not.#regardless of whatever i've been rambling about right now... refusing to make a choice is still a choice you make. life is ironic like that#does one of them really have to go? that's for you to decide now#i've merely chosen to put the gun in your hand. to make you aware of the possibilities#so i hope you realize what power your choices have#dca fandom#daycare attendant#yeah sometimes i just say things that i think are deep but they're really not#i hope the choices i make have an effect on others. even if it's just one person...#if i can make even just one person think about something they wouldn't have normally thought about then isn't that a win?#life is a series of choices... ''it'd be great if you could see a figure of light by the time you die'' ♡
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alagaisia · 3 months ago
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Hey if you’re still enjoying and engaging with Harry Potter in any capacity you can unfollow me 😊 please and thank you
Like. I get it. I was super into it as a kid too. I did not have the social context to pick up on the antisemitism or transphobia or sexism or fatphobia or bioessentialism or racism or anything else. I also picked up on surface-level language of Fighting Back Against Evil and ascribed my own values onto what that meant and thought we were all on the same page. I remember when the original kids who grew up with the books started becoming adult fans and picking up on the (blatant!) antisemitism and everybody was still mostly willing to give JKR the benefit of the doubt on it. (“She was writing kids books!” They said. “She didn’t know she was penning a global phenomenon! She picked a common literary trend in European fairy tales (antisemitic caricature) and didn’t examine it closely. It’s a mistake anyone could make,” we said. “She would probably do things differently now. After all, she word-of-god confirmed the vaguest hints she dropped that Dumbledore might be gay,” we said.) There was actually a span of several years where biases inherent in the actual real content of the Harry Potter series were coming to light and even the people pointing them out still seemed mostly to think it was an unfortunate accident.
That time has passed. Years ago! We are long past the first months of “maybe she doesn’t realize this seemingly-feminist tweet she liked was made by a noted TERF” and then “how could she not realize that these many veiled TERF-y things she’s retweeted have implications for the many queer fans of her work” and finally “oh wow okay JKR just dropped an entire transphobic manifesto on twitter. I guess the transphobia was the point.”
Yeah, there were a few months after that where people were still processing and still working through how they felt about Harry Potter and all of its flaws with the context of the now open transphobia of the creator. I was there for that. Remember how I was one of the kids who built it up into something noble and worthwhile based on my own beliefs about what messages it was probably trying to convey? Turns out it wasn’t trying to say any of those things, and when you take the time to examine all of the terrible shit that made its way into the text whether JKR intended it to be there or not, the whole series falls apart. It’s weird to discover that there’s a room in your house that’s rotten to the core, but eventually you figure out you can’t live like that, still going in there and holding your nose and pretending it’s still the same room you thought it was when the termites were only inside of the walls and hadn’t yet started chewing their way through the furniture. Because what’s going to happen is that they are going to infest the rest of your house. If you decide you can ignore transphobia and antisemitism and everything else just because you liked the color of the wallpaper, the rest of your principles are going to crumble too. You get rid of that fucking room. You put those books on a high shelf in the back of your closet behind other outgrown clothes and interests and you move the fuck on.
JKR uses the money made from her transphobic antisemitic children’s books to actively funding hate groups and to lobby for legislation that will and has actually affected the actual lives of trans people in an entire country. We are past the point of grieving something you were wrong about in childhood. Kids are wrong about a lot of stuff. You grow up and you learn new information and you change your behaviors based on it. You have to choose. It is transphobic to pretend there is not transphobia where there is. It is transphobic to support the work of someone who is using those funds to take rights from trans people with every fucking dollar. It is hateful to continue to engage positively with a story that at its very core is rooted in hate and bigotry and prejudice. You can choose to do all of those things but you cannot claim ignorance of them and you cannot choose those things and still pretend that choosing them upholds the values we convinced ourselves that Harry Potter stood for over a decade ago as uninformed children. You cannot choose to do those things and pretend to still support your trans and queer and Jewish neighbors. I do not want you in my neighborhood. Leave.
#mine#Harry potter cw#yeah I don’t want to see or think about this shit either and I’m sure most of my followers are on the same page of just like. let’s wipe it#from the public consciousness and do our best to just completely ignore it and forget it existed and in doing so take away JKRs platform and#influence and also stop the continued harm the series will do by propagated hateful biases in people who continue to read it#but despite heavily culling my feed over the course of the past several years and thankfully mostly not seeing HP fandom things anymore#I’ve been seeing a lot of responses today to people defending it and honestly I forget that there are still people out there doing that who#think they are just fine and normal fandom people with non-hateful and terrible interests and it makes me so angry#maybe more so because like. I was there too! I was annoyingly obsessed with Harry Potter from the ages of idk seven? up until whenever JKR#started being openly transphobic. I have so much fucking knowledge about this book series that will never leave my brain. and yeah it was#weird and hard to have to rethink things and realize that no actually it does feel bad and uncomfortable to continue to be a fan even#passively of these books. it was a big part of my childhood and several of my friendships. I fully get it. I was the weird kid also.#it was weird and hard to say oh actually this sucks and I don’t want to be a part of it anymore. but I did it! I got there! because it was#more important to care about real actual things and people than it is to fondly remember a book series for children.#and at the time it felt like maybe I did hang on a little longer than I could have and was a little later than some people and figuring out#my feelings and moving on from the whole thing. but it was still fucking years ago. and you’re still here?#because you like the color of the wallpaper in this shitty rotten broken down tacked on room? because we used to spend time there together?#buddy the room was giving us lead poisoning the whole time and the rest of us have accepted that and we are all outside doing other things.#you will find connection and community in so many places in your life. I promise. get the fuck out of that terrible awful room#and for gods sake stop bring out handfuls of mold you found under the floorboards and shoving it in our faces#nobody fucking wants this. we did it. we’re done.#so yeah I think I have an extra level of disdain because I know from personal experience that it’s not *that* fucking hard to care more#about real life trans people than about antisemitic children’s books.
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grimaussiewitch · 4 months ago
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Oh the urge to make a danganronpa au with the life series cast.
I have ideas but I need to wait until there’s a winner so I can have the 6 survivors and debate on who’s the protagonist, probably the 6th winner tbh. And so I know if there’s more new players or not.
Anyway I already have an idea for two murders, chapter 1 killer I know who and who possibly died (although the victim might be too obvious) and I know who’ll be the chapter 3 killer but I don’t think people will like the characterisation I have…
Yet again I need the series to finish before I make my decision lmao.
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musical-chick-13 · 3 months ago
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Fandom understand the narrative significance of Jaime/Cersei challenge (impossible).
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dreamsy990 · 1 year ago
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fuck akuroku as a ship btw not only because its pedophilic because thats obviously a huge issue. but also i think we should be able to have platonic relationships with the same amount of devotion as any romance. not everyone who loves each other is in love DEREK.
#not trying to downplay the issues with it being pedophilic because thats actually a huge issue#context for my non kh moots#as of kh3 lea/axel is roughly late 20s#maybe early 30s depending on how old he was in bbs#and roxas is (physically) 14-16 (hes only been alive for a bit over a year#but also what i want to say#axel and roxas have an amazingly written relationship#theyre two of the strongest characters in the series in terms of writing honestly#their dynamic in canon is two best friends who at the end of the day just want to stay together#but due to circumstances and also a bit of axel keeping secrets shit falls apart#when you get to kh2 roxas is gone and axel will do literally ANYTHINNG to bring him back#he doesnt care about his own life or soras or anyone else who stands in his way because he is going to get his friend back#axels role as an antagonist later in kh2 comes from his devotion#he wants roxas back. he says himself he wanted to see roxas again because he made him feel as though he had a heart#in the end he gives up and dies to protect sora#and i think a lot of people take 'he made me feel like i had a heart' out of context to say its romantic#at face value its easy to interpret it that way but in context he goes on to say 'its funny... you make me feel the same' to sora#the way i interpreted it at least wasnt that he was in love but that both roxas and sora's love for others radiated onto him#if we look at days (i know. sacrelige for a kh2 discussion. fuck you) axel is constantly questioning why roxas acts like he has a heart#he straight up asks him why he does that and roxas is confused. thats just how he is#<- context for that conversation is that roxas is upset on xions behalf because saïx called her a mistake#what he means by 'having a heart' is feeling things and caring about things and there is no inherent romantic connotation#he means in the most literal sense that roxas made him care about things. we dont know what exactly that was referencing in kh2#but we can take a pretty good fucking guess#but lets look at com for a second because theres a scene talking about the other half of that line#axel goes behind everyones back to do something to help sora and naminé and after he does he is SHOCKED to realize hes enjoying it#and then he says 'you really ARE something!' about sora#at least as of kh2 what they meant was feeling emotions. roxas made axel feel as though he had emotions. he made him feel like he could feel#anyways. what im saying is axels line could be taken as something romantic but i think its more interesting than that#i dont have enough tags left to continue word vomiting sorry </3
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