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whatsk-poppinhomies · 8 months ago

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Pairing : Idol!Song Mingi x F!Reader TW : reader is an internatiol ATINY ; nationality unspecified ; pure angst ; long distance relationship ; arguing ; disastrous break up ; heartbreak ; it's just sad ; he's a little bit, slightly yandere ; Word Count : 8.0k A/N : Mingi angst!! Yay! Haven't written for ATEEZ in a good bit! This one is fun! I have full control and I love it! Time for some heartbreak!! This turned a little yandere... But I hope you still like it! Also, I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while. I'm trying to write as much as I can! Request : Anonny : hi! I was wondering if you could do a mingi angst! I've been reading your angst fics and well just your gifs for like the past year and never had the courage to ask until now! I don't really have specifics and you could just do whatever you want with plot wise or something! I haven't thought about plot and stuff yet, just mingi angst 😭

The last fancall, it was kind of sad, but in a way, also relieving. They got to just relax after this call, they didn’t have to try to understand what an international fan was saying, not that it was a problem, but it was hard, although they’d never expect anyone to learn Korean just for them. They all loved talking to ATINY though, even if it were just a few, they got to personally get to know them for a minute or two, they got to joke with them, laugh with them, even playfully flirt with them. It was just nice to have some kind of interaction with the fans that brought them to where they were today.

It was your first fancall, you weren’t even sure how you had gotten so lucky to be chosen, but you had been, and when you got the email you screamed so loud that your neighbor started banging on the walls. Something as small as a video call, but it was huge to you, it felt like a dream. Surely, anyone who wasn’t a fan of k-pop wouldn’t understand, they’d probably think you were crazy for getting so excited over something like this… But this just might be the closest you’d ever get to any of them, and it would most definitely be the only time you ever got to talk to them.

You had done your hair and your makeup and you had changed your outfit about six times before settling on something more casual. It’s not like any of them would remember you anyway, and you weren’t even upset about that, you were just glad to be able to have this opportunity… an opportunity that had you so insanely flustered that you could barely even speak when Hongjoong showed up on your screen.

How embarrassing it was to sit in front of your favorite idols, not all of them at once, but one by one, they all got to look at you and see you looking so absolutely enamored that they were in fact actual people. The most you could get out was a ‘hello’, and even that was kind of squeaky and they would laugh, which in turn would make you more shy. They were all so nice though, asking you what your favorite song was and who your bias is, even though you couldn’t seem to find your voice. You wondered if things like this happened often.

Then you got to Mingi, who was last second to last in the lineup. He wasn’t exactly your bias, you didn’t really have one, they were all amazing and attractive in their own personal ways. But damn did he look good. If you were awestruck before, you were completely starstruck now, your eyes widening as you took in his perfect features and just… everything about him.

“Oh my god…” You said, under your breath you had assumed, but he had to have heard you considering he turned around and looked behind him before looking back at the camera to smile and wave at you. “Hi…” His turn was slightly different, it made you feel different. The other guys had simply looked at you, but it felt like Mingi was really looking at you. What did he see? Did you have something in your teeth? Was your hair messed up? You felt shy, like you were standing right in front of your crush. It was crazy.

“You ever been to Korea?” He asked, and it was so blunt, but he had this cheeky smile on his face that both eased your nerves and somehow had them going haywire at the same time. You giggled nervously and shook your head no. “You should come, it’s nice here. A lot of pretty girls, you’ll fit right in.” He… He just called you pretty? Was this fan service? It had to be! He was just really really good at it. “Do you have a boyfriend?” None of the other guys had asked you these types of questions, why were things getting so personal? Why didn’t you seem to mind it when it was coming from him? You shook your head no once again. “Good. I’m your boyfriend now. Okay?”

It probably wasn’t a good time to take a sip of water, not that you had expected him to say something like that, but you spit it out all over your desk, completely in shock at the words that you had just heard him say. There was no way he was being serious right now. His fan service was immaculate. “Oh…Okay!” You stammered out, and you wondered how long this would go on. He had surely passed up the timer.

“My turn now!!” You heard Wooyoung shout from beside him, and Mingi groaned loudly as his bottom lip jutted out. “I’m gonna steal your girlfriend, deal with it.” He teased, and you let out a small sigh. It was just fan service. You felt kind of foolish for momentarily getting worked up over something that he probably said to 20 other people today.

“I’ll see you again, yeah?” He asked, his words coming out rushed, and what the hell were you supposed to do? Say no?! You obviously wanted to see him again, that would be awesome, but the chances of you winning a fan call raffle twice were so low, you would be crazy to think that you’d ever have a moment like this again.

“Yeah… Yeah, you will.” You said, because even though you knew he was just very skilled in acting, you might as well play along with it. For a few short seconds, you had been Song Mingis girlfriend… And now that you had moved to a call with Wooyoung… All you could think about Mingi and his words and the way he looked at you. It drove you crazy… He drove you crazy. He had just become your ultimate bias though!

///

“I’m not gonna be able to go to the Ateez concert.” Your friend mumbled, and part of you, the more selfish part of you, was partially glad that she wasn’t able to go. She had flaunted the fact that she got front row tickets and you hadn’t been able to get even a back seat, they were sold out before payday. “Stupid fucking job, not giving me a day off. I requested it too!”

“That’s bullshit.” You shook your head, trying your best to sympathize with her, but all you could selfishly think was that if you weren’t lucky enough to go, she shouldn’t be lucky enough to go either. “Are you going to sell the ticket? You could get some good profit considering it’s a front row seat.” You quizzed, but the way she was looking at you made you quite uneasy. It looked like she was planning something… or at least thinking of something, and you didn’t know if it was malicious or something else completely. She was hard to read.

Long, manicured nails tapped against the table top, the sound putting you even more on edge, and then she sighed. “I know that your birthday is coming up, and… well I’m poor because I bought this damn ticket so…” Her shoulders shrugged, but there was a slight, tight lipped smile spreading across her face. “I’m just gonna give it to you. Happy early birthday! Yay! Tell Yuno I love him so much.”

Your jaw might as well have been on the floor. Was fate really giving you a good hand this year? Was this all that good karma you had earned from being a wonderful citizen in society? “Holy shit… No way! Are you being serious right now?” You just had to be sure. There was no way someone would just give up a front row ticket, especially not for free, even if it were your best friend. There had to be some kind of clause.

“Yes, I’m serious. Now, accept it before I change my mind and just skip work that day. I would have done that anyway if I didn’t have to pay rent.” She rolled her eyes and sunk down in her seat. “Take as many pictures and videos as you can… for me. Please! That’s all I’m asking for.” You nodded your head firmly, shit, that was the easiest thing you’d have to do. “He’ll probably look so good… Maybe…”

“No take backs!” You blurted out, your finger waving back and forth as you stared at her, and you hoped that she thought you were just goofing around and that your expression didn’t let on just how panicked you felt just by her words. “I will facetime you just so you feel like you’re actually there… Okay?” She was sulking, as anyone would be, you knew damn well that you would be if you were in the same position as her.

“Just have fun… And make a big sign, you have to get at least one of them to notice you, especially since you’re front row. Take advantage of those seats, bitch.” She teased, reaching her hands across the table to grab yours as she let out a little squeal, kicking her feet and acting as if she were still the one going. Maybe she was just trying to hype you up. “I gave you the best birthday gift, nobody can top me, they shouldn’t even try.”

“They should definitely still try though… I mean… I like getting things.” She snorted loudly, and you couldn’t help but laugh along with her. She was absolutely crazy and you absolutely adored her. A world without her as your best friend would be dull and boring and you didn’t even want to think about how sad it would be. You would have the best time of your life at that concert, and you’d do it for her.

///

Picking out an outfit for something like a concert was much harder than picking out an outfit for a video call. This was important, especially since you were going to be in the front row. One of them - hopefully Mingi - would look directly at you at some point. You couldn’t just be casual about it, you had to draw attention to yourself, you had to make sure that you were noticed. This decision felt more crucial than anything else in your life, and that seems quite absurd, but these guys had been the subjects of all your dreams and daydreams, you at least wanted to look good in front of them.

You had only been to one other concert in your entire life, and it was back during middle school for an indie group when you were going through your “emo” phase. This was bigger than that, you could already tell as you pulled up to the arena and saw the people pouring into the entrance. Your heart was hammering in your chest, it was crazy, you had even gotten there 2 hours early to try to make things easier on yourself but the crowd was already massive.

The lightstick in your hand was already shaking, but only because of your nerves, but you knew that you couldn’t just sit in the back of the Uber forever, so you climbed out, taking a deep breath before heading into the building. It was somehow more packed inside than it was even outside and it was so insanely congested that it felt more like a train station than an arena for a concert. Did all concert venues look like this or was it just because ATEEZ was performing?

Since you were front row, you got to go in and watch them warm up… funnily enough, you felt you might miss it considering you didn’t have a single idea where the hell you were going. You were trying your best to navigate through this cluster of people that were just as excited as you were, and you wished that you had someone to help walk you through this whole thing. It was so loud and you were being bumped into, and while they apologized for it, it didn’t make you any less anxious.

By the time you finally made it in the arena, you were just exhausted. The big sign that you had made and brought along with you had miraculously made it through all of it unscathed, but you were drained. You dropped down into your seat, hoping that your hair and your outfit had survived as well as the sign, but there was no mirror and you didn’t want to risk getting lost on your way to or from the bathroom, so you just had to rely on that hope that you still looked as good as you did when you left the house.

It felt like you hadn’t even had enough time to really catch your breath or cool off before the guys were walking out on stage. Everyone around you was screaming, but you were so enamored by the sight of them, literally right in front of you, that your mouth was hanging open but no sound was coming out. You had really thought that the video call was the most amazing thing, but now, you were sure that you were wrong. They were legitimately real, they were right in front of you. “Holy shit…” You mumbled to yourself, and for some reason, even though there were still a pretty good amount of people around you, you were self conscious, you were shy, you were nervous.

They came to the edge of the stage, one by one, and they all walked by and finished hand hearts that other people were making and stayed still long enough to be in selfies with certain people, none of them really stopped for longer than a minute tops… No one, other than Mingi.

Oh, Mingi… Who had managed to make your heart flutter through a simple video call, he made you feel like you were going crazy… Surely he wouldn’t remember you though. But why… Why did he full stop on your side of the stage? Why did he kneel down in front of you, his eyes locking with yours as his head tilted to the side? Gosh, he was adorable. There was no way that he would notice you after the couple months that had passed. The video call hadn’t lasted long enough for your face to be saved in his memory. Had it?

The chants of the people beside you seemed to pull him out of whatever trance he was in, and he quickly stood up and scurried along the stage, but it didn’t go unnoticed that he continued to look back at you, his eyes narrowing as if in deep thought. Did he remember you?

Soon enough they were off the stage and the rest of the stadium began to fill. The noise was much worse inside the arena, the sound just echoing off the walls and filling your ears, and you wondered how people could handle it constantly. You were sure that you’d have a major headache once you got out of there. The sudden influx of people and the growing excitement of the show that was about to begin had taken your mind off of the slightly strange interaction from before. You shouldn’t think so hard about those things, it was foolish and you didn’t want to be delusional.

As the show started, the screams that you had originally thought to be loud seemed to multiply tenfold and your ears were already ringing. Of course, you had a seat right next to the speaker. Would your eardrums even make it through the night? Were there enough ibuprofen in the world to soothe the awful ache in your head once you got back home?

It didn’t matter now, you just wanted to enjoy the show. You were here to enjoy the concert, to live the experience… But also, not forget to get enough video footage of Yunho to thank your friend for the ticket. This was something that you wouldn’t be able to do again, at least for a long time. Screw the headache, you should enjoy it while it lasts, and that’s exactly what you were going to do.

///

“I swear, I think that’s her in the front row.” Mingi said backstage after the warmups. The guys all stared at him like he was crazy, but he knew that he wasn’t. He knew your face, he knew your eyes, they had filled his dreams every night… They thought he was crazy for that too. “I’m so serious right now. I wouldn’t say it’s her if it wasn’t.”

Wooyoung snorted, but patted Mingi on the back as he walked by. “Maybe you’re the delusional one. Spotting your dream girl out in the crowd. That’s crazy. Come on, we have to get ready. Get your head out of your ass.” Mingi pouted as he walked over to the stylist and dropped down into his seat beside Hongjoong.

“I’m being so serious right now. You believe me, right? I mean… You saw her in the call. You know what she looks like. That was her out in the crowd… Right?” Mingi asked, trying to keep his voice down so that Wooyoung wouldn’t come over and completely crush his dreams and rain on his parade. Hongjoong chewed on his bottom lip, looking at Mingi through the mirrors that were in front of them. “You… You believe me… Don’t you?”

Hongjoong sighed, turning to Mingi with a slight pout. “I didn’t… But if you really believe you saw her, I’m happy for you. I’m not going to tell you that you’re crazy.” He pushed himself up off of his chair and stretched, preparing himself for the show that he was about to put on for all the fans. “It’s almost time to go out there…”

“Yeah! Maybe you’ll see your girlfriend!” Wooyoung chimed in, seemingly coming from out of nowhere. “It’s okay to be delusional, bud. I’m not judging you for it.” Although it seemed like he was judging him a lot for it, Mingi tried to avoid the teasing and focus more on the fact that he was about to head out on stage in less than five minutes.

He was so nervous though, not for the reasons that most would think though. Being up on stage in front of thousands of people wasn’t the issue, it was being up on stage in front of you. What were the chances of you winning a fancall and being at a show too? It’s like the universe was trying to bring the both of you together. He truly believed that. He couldn’t think of any other reason for those two things to happen. Especially with you being right in front… Front row seats, like he was meant to see you. It wasn’t a coincidence, it couldn’t be, and he knew that it was you. Your face was unforgettable to him. He daydreamt about it every day, he would have dreams of you every night. He couldn’t get you out of his head.

///

The speakers in front of you send vibrations through the air around you, you could feel it in your muscles, in your bones. The entire arena went dark for a moment, and then you heard the crowd roar as they walked out. You had already seen them once during their warm up, but it was like the first time again, your breath held in your lungs as they walked out, the music crescendoing the closer they got to the edge of the stage.

It felt like when you ride a rollercoaster, the slow climb to the top of the hill, and you knew that the edge was coming soon, that feeling of falling, excitement and fear all in one… But this time there was no fear, it was just the strange tingly feeling in your stomach, that last breath of air before you’d let it all out in one loud scream.

Building and building, their bodies like shadows in the darkness, and then with one click the spotlights turned on and they were illuminated, the bright lights shining on each and every one of them, but you were only looking specifically at one. An audible gasp left your lips as you seemed to once again lock eyes with Mingi.

Your hands shook as you held up the sign that you had made, feeling quite foolish now as it was hoisted above your head. “Call Me Mingi”, with your phone number written neatly at the bottom. It was a joke, one that your friend had laughed about right alongside you as she added the glitter to the glue hearts that had been neatly placed along the board.

It was crazy, you and your friend both agreed to that, but it was probably a good switch up from the typical signs that asked the idols to marry them. What was even crazier though was when Mingi pulled out his phone, aiming it in your direction and snapped a quick photo. You couldn’t be delusional, being delusional wasn’t good for your heart or your mind, but you also couldn’t help but think that maybe he took the photo so that he could check back on the sign… So that he could call you…

The rest of the concert felt more like a blur, stuck in your own mind thinking about what Mingi could have wanted that picture for. You didn’t see any of the other guys taking pictures of the crowd… Or maybe you were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t even notice if they did. You couldn’t stop thinking about it though, and before you knew it, the concert was over and you couldn’t even remember the setlist or the last song they played before the main lights in the arena turned back on and everyone began filing out.

Your friend was going to kill you, you hadn’t gotten a single video of Yunho for her. You honestly were quite pissed at yourself as well. This is why delusions aren’t good at all. You missed the whole concert, one that you most likely were never going to be able to experience ever again, because you were too busy thinking about whether Song Mingi, a literal idol, would make the time to call someone like you.

///

“You didn’t get a single video of Yunho!? Oh my god!” Your friend whined as you laid in bed, your phone next to your head, not even on speaker, but her voice was loud enough that it didn’t need to be. “Maybe it’s a good thing I didn’t go to the concert. I can’t afford to be a delulu as your ass.”

“I’m sorry!” You mumbled, throwing your hands over your face and letting out a loud groan. “I just… I’m not even thinking about him calling my number at this point. I just don’t want him to post a picture of it online and have a bunch of people trying to call me or text me, you know?” You explained, finally getting over your delusions and moving onto a safer, yet still highly panic inducing train of thought.

“Oh! Your phone is going to be blowing up! You’ll finally be super popular!” Your friend teased, snorting loudly as she said it, but you could only muster a slightly annoyed shut up in response before your phone started vibrating. “It begins! Maybe he did post it!”

“Oh hell no! I’ll call you back!” You said quickly, ending the call with your friend to quickly answer the incoming call. “Look. I don’t know where you got my number, but if it’s from where I think it is, I will not tolerate unsolicited calls. This is harassment.”

“Oh…” The voice on the other end was quite timid, but you could tell it was a guy. He sounded kind of nervous, and although all of you wanted to believe who you thought it was, you didn’t want to go down that road again, at least not tonight. “But your number was on the sign… I thought you wanted the phone call.”

“The sign was a joke!” You explained exasperatedly, kicking your legs like a toddler in the store who was throwing a temper tantrum. You surely didn’t want to deal with this right now. “Unless you are Song Mingi, I’d advise you to hang up the phone and find someone else to bother this late at night.”

There was a chuckle, although the sound was slightly muffled, but it was extremely agitating that someone found this funny. As if harassment was something comical nowadays. “So I shouldn’t hang up the phone then… Right?” You scoffed loudly, finally getting up from your bed and pacing around your room, something that you often did when you were just too annoyed to sit still.

“Look, this isn’t funny. If you’re doing this to mess with me, I’m sure you’ve already had your fun. I’m trying to get some sleep, I’m exhausted. It would be really cool of you to not fuck with people like this.” The words came out in huffed breaths, you were beyond pissed, not just at whoever this person was, but at yourself for being stupid enough to put your number out so publicly just on the small chance that someone like Song Mingi would actually dial your number.

A soft hum, and then your phone started vibrating again, this time an invite to a video call that you surely weren’t up to accepting. You let it continue ringing until it ended, and you thought that it would be a one and done type of thing, but then it started vibrating again. “Just for a second, you don’t even have to be on the camera, I just want to show you something.”

You didn’t exactly mean to laugh as loudly as you did, but you had heard that line one too many times in your lifetime to trust it. “Look bud, I don’t want to see a live action shot of your dick and balls. I wasn’t born yesterday.” You snarkily shot back, and the audible gasp that came through your speaker had it crackling slightly.

“Who did that to you? That’s disgusting… Hold up. We don’t have to call. I’ll just… Send you a selfie real quick. Not of my dick and balls.” Were you so annoyed that you were laughing, or did you actually find him funny? You weren’t sure, but regardless of what it was, you laughed at his little quip, your hand moving over your mouth so that the guy didn’t think he was actually getting anywhere right now.

Your phone buzzed in your hand once again, and luckily it was only once, but when you went to your texts, you were met with a selfie of the guy that was on the other end of the line… The guy that the sign had been made for. “I call bullshit!” You blurted out, because there was no way in hell your little glitter bomb sign would have worked. You just couldn’t fathom it.

“Reverse image search it then. It doesn’t exist anywhere else than in your messages.” He said rather bluntly, quite cockily too. Now that you were really listening to his voice though, you couldn’t deny that it sounded all too familiar to the voice you heard at the concert, and not just that, but the voice you had heard in your phone before when you had won the fancall. You were stunned into silence, you didn’t know what to say or what to do next, and he could tell. “You believe me now?”

“Mmhm…” Was all you could mutter, because what else were you supposed to say? How were you supposed to think of anything coherent when you were currently in a very real, very one on one call with Song Mingi… Or was it one on one? Did his managers know about this call? Were they just standing around him listening to every word you and him say? Did they freak out when he sent the selfie to you?

“So… I’m going to be here… Close to you… For another two days…” What was he hinting at? Ain’t no way he was hinting at what you thought he was… right? “If you want to meet up for lunch or dinner… or something…” Holy shit he was. “I know that this is crazy, I just needed to be sure…”

“Sure of what?” You asked, and your heart felt like a freight train, speeding straight to your ribcage and you were sure it was going to shoot out in a matter of seconds.

“I… I need to be sure that I do actually like you…”

///

Two days wasn’t enough, but in a sense, it was for him. It felt like a dream when he finally met up with you, even though he had to practically disguise himself from the public, it felt nice to just be able to sit across from you for lunch and talk to you. It didn’t take long for him to be 100… No… 500% sure that you were the woman that he wanted to be with. Love worked in crazy ways, but he trusted it, because the odds of everything lining up so perfectly to get to this moment… It was fate, it had to be.

The way your body froze for a second before melting against his when he so suddenly pressed his lips to yours. It was a spur of the moment thing, but it felt right, and he needed to kiss you now because he knew that the moment wouldn’t come again for a long time. It wasn’t supposed to lead to anything more, it wasn’t what he had planned, but before either of you could really think twice, you were falling back onto the hotel mattress and he was falling on top of you.

In that moment, it was like his heart grew ten times bigger, and laying beside you, your hair carelessly clinging to your sweat covered forehead as you dozed peacefully beside him… Love wasn��t hard to find, the world was just waiting to bring the one you were supposed to love to you. That’s how he felt, and he believed it wholeheartedly. How could he not when he felt like he was falling deeper and deeper in love with you with every soft breath that escaped your lips.

To live in that moment forever, both bodies hidden underneath wrinkled sheets, his feet hanging out from the end of the blanket, your arm draped lazily over his bare chest. Could you feel his heart beating beneath his skin? It seemed like now it was only beating for you. He saw his future flash before his eyes, mornings like this, every morning like this, just waking up beside you, being able to see your beautiful face as soon as he opened his eyes. What a wonderful future it would be to spend it with you.

Falling in love was easy when it was with you, but it was hard… It was hard because he knew he couldn’t stay with you, at least not in person. He had to go back to Korea, he had to finish the rest of the tour. His heart felt like it was connected to yours entirely, and having to leave you behind was going to be painful… But it would work. He’d make it work, solely because he couldn’t imagine his life without you in it.

“I wish I could take you with me…” He whispered, and while he knew that that wish couldn’t be granted, not yet at least, he had been able to swindle security to pick you up just so that he could ride with you to the airport, so that he’d be able to see you one last time before he had to go. “I’ll message you… I’ll call you every day.”

“What if you get bored?” You practically whimpered, and his heart cracked at the question. How could he ever get bored of you? He had spent months before the concert just thinking about you before he even knew where you lived or what you were truly like. He had been loyal to the singular thought of you. There was no way that he’d give up so easily when he finally had you and was able to call you his.

“I’d never get bored, baby. I’ll wait, always… Until we can be together.” He reassured you, his hands cupping your cheeks gently as he wiped away the stray tears that fell from your eyes. “Don’t cry, please don’t cry. I’ll start crying and then I won’t be able to get out of the car because I won’t want to leave you…” He kissed your forehead, and then the tip of your nose before leaning back and giving you a smile that had his eyes disappearing momentarily. It was your favorite smile, you had told him multiple times, and it always seemed to cheer you up.

“I’m sorry…” You sniffled, leaning forward and resting your head against his chest. Could you hear his heart now, could you hear how fast it was beating for you? “You should go now… I don’t want you to miss your flight.” The words sounded choked out, and he would have said more, but he knew that his words would come out the same way.

For some people, two days wasn’t even enough to be acquaintances, but for him, two days was enough for him to feel like his heart belonged to you completely. You were his soulmate, his everything, without a doubt… He wouldn’t even look at another woman, he wouldn’t be able to look at anything without somehow finding a way to see you in whatever it was. He loved you with every ounce, every fiber of his being.

“I’ll… I’ll try to make a stop here after the tour… I’ll visit you again… Before I go back to Korea… Okay?” He held out his pinky to lock with yours, twisting his hand and pressing his and your thumbs together. “Wait for me… Always wait for me, okay?” You nodded your head quickly, your nose scrunched up in the most adorable way as the tears continued to fall down your cheeks. With one last kiss, he was moving away, closer to the door. He hated goodbyes. “Get her home safe, okay… Please.” He told the driver who simply nodded, and then he was gone.

The windows were tinted, and although he knew that you could see him constantly looking back at you through the windows, he couldn’t see you at all. The last image of you that he held in his mind was your tear stained cheeks and the expression of sadness as he let go of your finger and your hand dropped back down to your lap. He wished he could take you with him, but life just wouldn’t allow that… Not right now at least.

///

For a good amount of time, you both kept in touch with each other frequently. Hell, you even had your first argument as soon as he got back to Korea because he pinky promised that he’d come visit you before he left, but he didn’t. It was quickly solved though, because one of the main things the two of you had going for the relationship was communication. He promised that when he had free time he would come visit you for a week, and you held onto that promise just as you had held onto the one from before.

You would talk about how your day was, all the little things that happened, regardless of time difference or schedules, you both always found a way to keep in contact. For months your nights would end with video calls from him, and his nights would end with video calls from you. Everything was perfect, he truly felt that way.

But soon the messages came in less often, it seemed like you were always busy doing something when he wanted to talk. He’d call you at night and you wouldn’t answer, always miraculously not having your phone with you or on when the call would come in. He didn’t understand it, and when he went to one of the other members to talk, he didn’t want to hear what they had to say either.

There was no way that you were getting tired of him. You couldn’t be getting bored… Because he promised you that he wouldn’t get bored. It would be hypocritical for you to ask him if he’d get bored of you and then… then get bored of him.

The thought stuck with him though, and while that would usually make most people give up, it just made him try harder. He messaged you as much as he could, he sent you constant pictures, he tried to call you whenever he knew you’d be on a lunch break or when you’d usually get off work. Your responses were always so dry though. Were you trying to get rid of him? Had he done something wrong? He was doing his best, it’s not like he enjoyed being so far away from you. It had only been 3 months… He was willing to wait forever to be with you… Why couldn't you do the same for him?

“Hey baby, how did you sleep?” Nowadays he felt nervous when he texted you. He didn’t know whether he’d get a one word reply or no reply at all. It felt pathetic that the days he’d get the one word replies were his favorite, but you had been leaving him on read so often now that even the smallest response felt like a win to him.

“I think we should talk…” A five word reply, and while the words didn’t sit right with him and they made his stomach do flips, it was nice. It was nice to think that you wanted to talk to him, regardless of what it was about.

“Yeah sure! I’m down to talk, do you want to call? I haven’t seen you in a while. I miss you!”

“No calling… It’ll just make this harder.” Make what harder? What were you going to say that could possibly be so hard? You weren’t… leaving him… were you? You couldn’t be… He hadn’t done anything wrong. He was devoted to you, he was loyal to you in every way. You weren’t just going to give up on him that easily… Were you?

“Well, whatever it is that you have to say, I want you to know that I love you. I can’t wait to see you again!” Maybe that text would make you rethink whatever it was that you were about to send. If you knew that he loved you, although he did tell you every single day, maybe you’d realize that whatever you were planning on doing wasn’t the right thing to do.

“Mingi… I can’t keep this up. I… found someone else…”

“No you didn’t… No you didn’t!” He was already crying even though he wanted his mind to just forget that he had even read that text. “You love me! Don’t you love me?!” You had to love him… Why else would you have been so sad in the car when he went to the airport? “Is this because I couldn’t visit you after the tour was over? I’m sorry! I’ll come visit you! I’ll buy a plane ticket right now!”

“It’s not that… I need someone that’s here with me. I don’t just want to keep repeating the same conversations every single day. The schedule differences and… Everything is stacked up against us… We weren’t going to work.”

How could you say something like that? He was doing everything he possibly could to make it work. He was the one putting in all the effort. He was the one staying up later than he should just to be able to call you and message you when you were free. “No… You just didn’t want it to work… I still do!” His fingers moved like lightning across his screen, his eyes blurred with the tears that he was trying so hard to hold back. “You can’t decide something like that.. If you would have talked to me… We could have made it work.”

Did you know that you were killing him, that you were breaking his heart? Would you take the words back if he told you? “I don’t want to argue with you… I just wanted you to know…” Were you as nonchalant as your texts made it seem you were? You really didn’t care… But maybe… Maybe if he gave you some time… A bit of time you’d come to realize that you did love him. He won’t message you… He’ll let it simmer… Maybe you’ll end up missing him and messaging him first.

So he waited, and days turned into weeks, and he thought he’d be able to wait a month, but then you started posting on Instagram. You looked so happy in your pictures, you looked absolutely gorgeous, and the smile that you were wearing was the same one you had given him during those two days he got to be with you. He swiped through, and he was fine… Maybe not as fine as he wanted to be, but he was fine with seeing the pictures of just you. It brought back happier memories of when he was able to actually be with you. Then he got to the last picture, the guy that you were currently with, he assumed, his arms around you and his lips planted to your cheek.

As if your words hadn’t been enough to have his heart breaking in two, the pictures felt like you were purposely throwing it in his face that he couldn’t be with you, that he couldn’t make you happy. He couldn’t stand seeing it, he was pissed, he was devastated, he wanted to lash out and he wanted to cry. Why were you doing this to him? What had he done?

There wasn’t a single thought in his mind as he closed the instagram app and went to kakao, not even bothering to text you before his thumb slammed down on the call button. He didn’t care if you answered the first time, he’d just keep calling until you did, and that’s exactly what he had to do. It took 6 times for your exasperated breath to come through the speaker when you finally answered, but he wasn’t going to give you any time to complain.

“Did you post it to piss me off or upset me? Because you did both! I guess you’re really winning now, aren’t you? You got to break up with a k-pop idol and break his heart! Good for you!” Right off the bat he was ranting, and maybe he sounded a little bit psychotic, maybe he sounded just slightly obsessed, but when you’re in love with someone, isn’t that how it should be?

The sound of a man talking in the background had Mingis ears perking up. Were you with the guy still? Oh, how he wished the guy would get on the phone, he’d love to have a word with him. “You’re being ridiculous. I had a clear, logical reason to break up with you. I didn’t do it to hurt you or piss you off. I just wanted to be happy.” How could you sound so sad when you were the one that left him. He didn’t do this! You did!

“What about my happiness?!” He screeched, running his hand through his hair. He had become aware of the rest of the guys all coming into the room to check on him, but he didn’t care enough to stop. You were going to listen to what he had to say, and those that decided to stick around would have to listen to it too. “You gave up on everything… You’re so selfish! And you weren’t even going to tell me!”

“I was going to tell you!” You shouted back, and for some reason, it made him kind of excited to hear you fighting back. Something about hearing you get emotional over his words… It had butterflies swarming his stomach. “I didn’t even have time to fully think about how I was going to tell you, but you kept fucking messaging me and-”

“Of course I kept messaging you! You were my girlfriend and I hadn’t heard from you! Don’t try to act like I’m the bad guy when you’re the one who was practically cheating on me!” While he was angry, he was also struggling to keep from laughing. It would probably sound a bit maniacal to start laughing right now though, and that’s the last thing he wanted. He just found it so cute, the way you were swearing and breathing so heavily, he could almost perfectly envision your face right now.

You huffed loudly, and the sound was so beautiful to him. Maybe it was just the fact that you hadn’t hung up yet… You were still making time out of your day that you were spending with your boyfriend to focus on him. “I don’t know why you’re being such an asshole right now… I didn’t do anything to you. I never cheated on you… We… What we had… It couldn’t even be considered dating… We were only together for two days…”

Now he was laughing though, his head falling back as the sound built in his chest. “Yeah okay! Let’s just hope that your boyfriend doesn’t have to go out of town or leave the country for more than a week. You might replace him too!” He shot back and he could almost hear the eye roll from your end. “Maybe you’re not actually meant for relationships, you just want someone to physically dote upon you daily. Sorry I couldn’t fit your selfish needs into my already busy schedule.”

A small sniffle and the shuffling of fabric, maybe you were wiping your tears or maybe your wonderful boyfriend had come over to wipe them for you. “You’re being unnecessarily mean to me right now…” You whispered, sniffling again before swallowing thickly. “I’m sorry that you’re hung up… And I’m sorry that my happiness is upsetting you. I’m not asking you to stick around though… I’m not forcing you to. You don’t have to stalk my life… You can unfollow me.”

Of course he wasn’t going to do that. He couldn’t imagine not seeing you on his feed when he opened Instagram, or not having your messages to look back on when he missed you too much. “You’re happiness won’t last long… You’re too selfish to be truly happy with anyone. The first time you can’t get exactly what you want, you give up. Have fun with that.”

“I-” He quickly hung up, and it was only then that it sank in what he had done… And a wide smile spread across his face. He’d be kicking his feet if they weren’t touching the floor over the edge of the bed. The call only lasted 20 minutes tops, but hearing your voice that long… It was amazing, it made his heart beat a mile a minute and that familiar warm and fuzzy feeling washed over him.

“Dude… What the fuck?” Wooyoung finally spoke up, concern masking the man's features as he stared at Mingi on the bed. No one had ever heard him talk like that before, and truthfully, he looked and was acting like a complete psychopath right now. “Who was that? What’s going on right now?”

“I found a way to talk to her…” Mingi said, his chest rising and falling heavily as he let himself drop back onto the bed. He was happy, the happiest he’s been in weeks. “She’ll keep talking if we argue… I just have to keep arguing with her… Then she’ll come back to me. She’ll realize how much she misses me… This’ll work. I know it will.”

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#ateez #ateez x reader #ateez x you #ateez headcanons #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez drabble #ateez fic #ateez angst #song mingi #ateez mingi #mingi x reader #mingi x you #mingi headcanons #mingi imagines #mingi scenarios #mingi drabble #mingi fic #mingi angst

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lookismaddict · 2 years ago

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Lookism Chapter 437 Memes/Thoughts I Have:

(SPOILERS !!! I don’t own any of the Lookism panels and the translations. Only the memes that I made.)

Sorry guys, late once again because I had a test today. But damn… Jihan ambitious? 👀

DAAAAAAAAAMN, THAT’S RIGHT. GET BITCH SLAPPED!!!

TELL ME WHY THAT PANEL REMINDED ME OF THIS??? HAHAHAHAHAHA THEY HAD A WILL SMITH AND CHRIS ROCK MOMENT. 💀💀💀💀💀 I BET PTJ USED THIS SCENE AS A MODEL. BUT IF HE REALLY DID, THEN IMMA BE CRYING TEARS.

Damn. So, my question is... are they all brothers or something? And how are they even family related? Is he their uncle? Am I missing something here? 😭😭 Can one of y'all let me know who this Jichang mf is to them? *am confusion* (Update: I forgot "Hyungnim" is a term for older brother. My dumbass... ignore me. I haven't been watching k-dramas anymore so I forgot. My bad.)

OK MAN, LISTEN. LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN... I DO ADMIT. YOU ARE ATTRACTIVE. BUT IF YOU DO THAT TO JAY ONE MORE TIME, I SWEAR. IMMA-

This dude is thriving now, but when Jay pummels him... WHEEEEWWWWWWWWWW I CAN'T WAIT TO SIP OUTTA MY FANCY ASS WINE GLASS JUST TO SEE HIM ON THE GROUND.

YEEEESSSSSS JAYYYYY!!! ATTACK HIMMMM!!! BEAT HIM WITH SYSTEMA!!! 😤👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 Omg, I can't wait to see him use Kali Arnis. represent 🇵🇭

Oh, sorry. Those were my boobs, my bad. It caught you off guard tho, right? 👁👁

Um... B O I. Your picture would appear under the word "ignorant" because you have no idea who you're messing with. 💀💀💀 YOU'RE LITERALLY, FIGHTING WITH H GROUP CHAIRMAN'S SON. WDYM? You have no idea how much power this kid has, let alone his own PROWESS. 🤡 Also, if this boy Jihan doesn't stop wrecking Jay...

Get it? Since, Jay is already HARMED... then Jihan is about to catch these MF HANDS EITHER WAYYYYY!!!! 👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽

BRUH, I'LL END YOU! TF???

Oh great, it's the smartass twink again...

Has anyone noticed how big Mandeok's hair is? That it's even protruding out of the panel? PTJ you comedic genius...

Oh, wouldn't you like to know? Eugene...

Damon Goh's rubber duck must know some secrets. I bet it even knows the secret to the two bodies AND stuff about Charles Choi. You never know where it might have gone off to. Ooooouuu, it said, "I'm a detective." 😎 And I love how goofy Mandeok can be, even when he's unintentionally funny. Like, man's got the humor and all without him even knowing. (For instance, there's a panel in Ep. 373, which was the chapter when Daniel moves into the Workers' Casino and both Eugene & Mandeok welcome him. Then all of a sudden, Mandeok just grabs onto Daniel then physically shakes him upside-down because Eugene said it's for security purposes. 😂)

SO YOU'RE SAYING THAT THIS DILF IS ACTUALLY A FRIEND OF ALEXANDER SOPHIA'S???? OMGGGGG BRUH. YOU HAD NO IDEA HOW I SCREAMED WHEN EUGENE MENTIONED PARK JINCHEOL. HONESTLY, I LOVE THE PTJ UNIVERSE SM. CONNECTING ALL WORLDS INTO ONE LIKE THEY IN SOME MARVEL UNIVERSE. 😭😭😭

DON'T MIND ME SKIPPING THE PARTS WHEN JAY WAS GETTING BEATEN, BUT YEEEEEEEEEEEE BOIIIIIIIII. TIME TO GET WACKED!!!!! 😆😆😆

"To think you'd look for a woman late at night, Jay Hong." ... hmmm. That line really stuck with me. I've been rereading that over and over again to the point that I lost count. So... does Alexander Sophia know or had a feeling that Jay is...? 😳

AWWWWWW HELL YEAH, THERE'S AN UPGRADED VERSION OF ALEXANDER'S KALI ARNIS!!! THAT'S SO COOOOOOL!!! 🤩🤩🤩

YEEEEEEESSSSSSSS JAYYYYYYY!!! YOU DID ITTTT!!!! I love how Jay has such a big heart. Even though Jihan is an enemy, he still considers his health. He even knows his own POWER TOO AND WHAT HE'S CAPABLE OF. ALSO, HE ISN'T AS WEAK AS HE WAS BACK THEN. LIKE DAAAAAAAAMN JAY, YOU GOT SO STRONG!!! AM PROUD. 😩😩💖💖💖💖💖

GOD PTJ, DON'T MAKE ME CRY HERE. YK I AIN'T READY FOR A SOB FEST. 😭😭😭😭

I TOLD Y'ALL, IMMA BE SIPPIN ON MY WINE GLASS. GOT THAT ROSÉ IN HAND, EXTRA FRUITYYYY. 🤪

Yeah bro, it's some sexy pervy illiterate demonic Enemy of the State Japanese Yakuza mf named Jong Gun Park.

OH LOOK, THERE HE IS! HI BAE, I MISS YOUR PSYCHOTIC ASS!!! 😩😩🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 DON'T MIND YOUR SON GETTING YEETED BY A 1ST GEN KING. HE'LL BE FIIIIINE... hopefully.

AHHHHHHH SHIIIIII. NOW IT'S DANIEL'S TURN FOR THE SPOTLIGHT. What if Hudson and Jay come to the rescue when Daniel is at his lowest while fighting Jichang? Well, that's one of my guesses on what'll happen in the future. But, I have faith in Daniel. I hope he'll knock Jichang down a peg, next chapter. Well, until next week! 👋🏽

God, I hate how I'm busy on Thursdays now. Almost every week, I be posting my reviews super late now. Smh me. Sorry guys. 😓

#lookism #lookism 437 #lookism webtoon #lookism manhwa #lookism spoiler #lookism spoilers #lookismaddict #lookism memes #lookism meme #jay hong #hong jaeyeol #kwak jihan #kwak jibeom #daniel park #park hyungseok #kwak jichang

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that-was-anticlimactic · 2 years ago

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H, K, and W for the fandom ask game!!

lol hey just remembered that i had these from dec 19th lol i think i was just so mentally unwell at the time that i couldn't actually process the fact that i had asks and was capable of answering them even tho i literally reblogged the ask game lol anyways was going through my drafts and saw this and i'm MUCH better now so i went through and found the game and imma do it now <3

h - what is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., tw shows, movies, books, anime, western animation, etc.)?

hm... i would say it's typically anime/animated shows. i kind of have trouble writing fics for actual books as opposed to shows... idk why, i just always have. i've certainly tried before, but it's never lasted long and it was always AWFUL. and idk why (actually i kind of do and could go on a whole rant -affectionate- about this) but cartoons/animation is SO much easier for me to write fanfiction about and interact with and love and... oh don't get me started on why animated shows are superior to everything else

k - what character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

oh God so many ummmmm one of my favorite ones EVER would prolly be... idk the hollow is on my mind and just. vanessa. i literally went into s2 with the mindset of "i hate her she's the worst wonder what evil things she'll do this season grrrr" and came out of s2 like "i will do anything to protect her babygirl so skrunkly so shaped SHE HAS DONE NOTHING WRONG". like... God she's SUCH a well written character. and diana kaarina did SUCH a great job voicing her, too! so while this prolly isn't like the BEST development/arcs ever, it's special to me lol vanessa is now my favorite hollow character and i love her so so so much and her development was done so well and smoothly and OUGH

w - a trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

oh! easy! hey this character really likes one specific food and the show made it joke about it, what if we made that their entire character, reduced their personality to food, only ever drew that character eating while everyone else is normal, and then hc that character big, fat, and darker skinned tehe isn't that so funny? ... okay that last bit was super specific. um. i have a visceral hatred for [redacted] tho i'm sure most people are aware by now lol. but no, in general tho, i really do hate that fandoms do that. especially because sometimes, at the heart of it all is an eating disorder that's just turned into a joke. i hate when the fandom makes a character's personality food. or height, also. like okay we get it chuuya is short we can move on now. i'm short too but you don't see me or anyone else talking about that constantly gosh okay cool height differences big deal whatever idc anymore. food and height are NOT personality traits. STOP MAKING THEM PERSONALITY TRAITS!!!

#jet tag #lol #i was in SUCH a bad place mentally from like october 2022-january 2023 it was actually kind of concerning lol #so sorry i forgot about this i LITERALLY suck #anyways here - take my rant about [redacted] in the [redacted] fandom (tho let's be real... many moots prolly know what i'm talking about)#corey rambles:)

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celticwoman · 3 years ago

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just watched bram stoker's dracula.....

#and it was probably one of the worst movies i've ever seen #it was so oversexualized and the acting was terrible and nothing made sense #what the actual fuck <3 #the characters were nothing like the ones from the book #k/eanu's version of jonathan was so bad #the amount of MOANING #it was so uncomfortable to watch tbh #then mina kissing van h/elsing????? what the fuck was that #only thing i liked was how they included a lot of quotes from the book #(but also that part where the professor tells mina she's the light of lights was really bad because it didn't make any sense #they literally had met one second ago and i really loved that part from the book but whatever i guess 🙄)#oh another thing i liked was them keeping the diary entries stuff but i wish they had done it better tbh #oh and of course #mister quincey was hot #anyways i can't believe it has so many good reviews it was awful #now i'm going to sleep #cami.txt

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moinsbienquekaworu · 2 years ago

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OKAY SO. I was asked for my aurebesh thoughts and I shall deliver! @zeawesomebirdie this is for YOU <3

Here's what the standard version of the aurebesh (I used it like you'd use the word alphabet because well, it's alphabet but in SW speak) looks like, rewritten by me but faithful to the most widely accepted version that I know of.

Now, this is all fine and good for computer fonts, since you're at best typing them with a keyboard. But to actually write, with a pen or stylus? Extremely inconvenient. Try to write that A cleanly but in one try. That's just not easy to write: the diagonals, the two different parts, it's just not made to be written.

I can hear you think "it doesn't need to be written though does it, who still writes on paper in the GFFA?" and fair, but. But. 1) some people just like Doing It Like They Used To in Ye Olden Days and there must be a thriving community of calligraphy enthusiasts making their own paper and writing in ink. 2) if WE can have apple pencils they can have styluses, if only to draw, and a natural extension of that is writing little notes. 3) and most important I think, but often disregarded, it's easier to learn a new writing system if you make your hand go through the motions. Obviously there are exceptions and obviously you can still learn by just seeing but actually going through the motion and gesture? That really helps a majority of people. Source: I took japanese and russian classes, and therefore had to learn both the japanese writing system and the russian cyrillic alphabet, and yes, putting in the effort to copy the symbols again and again with a pen in your hand works much better than trying to remember it from having seen it, and it was the same for a lot of other people in my classes.

(Obviously the aurebesh was developped hastily by people who wanted to make it a font before anything else AND who are most likely american, which is a country where they don't teach you cursive anymore apparently, so that influences things)

All of this to say, I think since the fun of being a fan is filling in the holes of canon and having fun with your stuff, I tried thinking of what a more realistic aurebesh would be like.

From my deep dive on wookieepedia a while back, I learnt that a few actual alphabets of our world exists in the GFFA, like Tionese is written using Greek and Sith markings are Hebrew letters, + our roman alphabet is called High Galactic, but is a very fancy thing most people don't use. So, the aurebesh is the standard writing system of galactic basic, which means it's probably very widespread. I imagine that people actually do learn to write with some kind of stylus, just to get you to remember quicker and because either you have access to the equivalent of an apple pencil, you can find a ballpoint pen somewhere, or you have an outside with dirt/sand and some kind of pointy stick thing. That means we need a more writing-friendly version of the aurebesh (not even a cursive version, just an easier block letter version, I'm still brainstorming that one because god this was NOT made to be cursive but my love of cursive is powering me through)

So here's how I write the aurebesh!

Purple are letters I've rewritten but without real changes, and blue are actual changes, ranging from "yeah I could tell what this was" (p, o, v) to "I think you need to know that it's this letter to be able to tell" (a, g, eo). I'm pretty proud of that A honestly! Generally, I rounded out things that could be rounded out, made simpler things that didn't need to be complicated to be understood, and reduced the number of strokes necessary, because needing to lift your pencil and come back for a second stroke is a huge time loss. You might also be able to tell that I took japanese for 4 years in my squares: the TH looks like a 日, the W like a ロ, the K like a コ, and the H is basically a 三 because I like to work smarter not harder and I love japanese. I made the V into a normal Y from our alphabet, and I still get I and L mixed up a lot of the time, but here it is. And YES I forgot the numbers but uuuh tbh I always forget them so yeah haha. Might do a few sentence samples just for fun + to show what it looks like when I write it VS my normal handwriting (because I'm a handwriting amateur)

Another note: I hate with all the fibers of my being the "reverse the letter and that marks it as a capital" because it is incredibly clunky and inconvenient. Nobody does it like that and it's stupid. I think making them bigger/smaller like the computer font version of cyrillic is the way to go honestly, like Д for capital and д for lowercase. I don't have the words to explain why but you should not mirror a letter and make it a capital that is bad and wrong and it clearly was thrown in there last minute when people asked. Either everything is capitals or the lowercase is smaller but please no mirroring T-T

If you have anything to contribute I am BEGGING please come tell me. If you have cursive aurebesh ideas I will ask for your hand in marriage right here and there. When I told my best friend about this they said "oh my god this is like Tolkien why are you thinking about how the people of the galaxy would use their alphabet what is wrong with you (affectionate)" and yeah.

(Also ALSO bonus aurebesh fonts I like, apart from the standard one: the Aurebesh Droid, Rodian, Cantina, and Typewriter. )

#FIOU #that's it that's the post #that was a long ass rant. can you see i am passionate about things? i am a very passionate person.#that passion is reserved for like 5 topics but hey whatever #that said. do NOT talk to me about m.ando'a in any way shape or form i think it's interesting but i engage with it on my own terms #this side of the fandom is just very. uh. it Is. i don't go there.#aurebesh #star wars #wow i have a ramble tag now

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nutellarchives · 2 years ago

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My K-Dramas of June - August (First Half) part 1

As June marked the last month of my classes for the term, I grabbed the opportunity to marathon K-Drama as much as I can. With that goal in mind, I was able to finish 7 K-dramas and would like to give my thoughts with the following. This might be a spoiler full review-ish so disclaimer for that.

p.s. if you haven't watched all of the drama on the list, I recommend just scrolling past that title you haven't watch yet and go back to this blog post when you're already done!

p.p.s. Trigger warning too, I have watched some K-dramas that might be sensitive for others, please read with caution.

Tomorrow

The first K-drama I've watched last June was Tomorrow. I watched this in a whim because even though I have a lot to watch on my K-drama list, I am only comfortable watching K-dramas on mobile, so Netflix and Viu. It was newly released during the time I've decided to watch it and I've heard good things about it so I gave it a go without any information or a tiny bit of synopsis (just watching it blindly ehe). First few episodes and I'm already hooked! Since I am really interested into concepts where it's not part of my culture aka something new (e.g. Afterlife, Reincarnation, Grim Reapers etc.). Learning things about the East-Asian culture has always been a fascinating thing to me and I wanted to learn more.

This drama also touched one of the taboo topics in Korea, which is suicide. It is a very heavy topic to portray in media but I do think that they were able to nail it and was able to convey a message regarding suicide and how to overcome it.

The cast dynamics is one of the factors that made me continue to watch, although everyone is new to me, as I haven't watched any dramas that they starred in, I was able to enjoy their performance and how they are able to pull off each character.

What made me add this drama to my favorites list is how things were connected, how the character's attitudes and perception towards suicide is based on their experiences from their past lives and how the story intertwined with the character's pasts. I especially liked how Ryeon and Joong-gil were lovers in their past lives (even though this drama is not romance heavy, I still manage to get kilig during the time we're they were still together).

One thing that felt short for me is the lack of depth and focus on Junwoong's past life. I do think that him being in a comma for months in the present is a sad thing and I won't question that but regarding his past life, I feel like the integration of that is something that wasn't thought very well. I've expected Junwoong's past life to be more meaningful as he was one of the main leads. But I guess it won't really make sense if he is connected with the other lead's past lives as he just accidentally got into the squad. I honestly wish there was more to it but I'm gonna just accept that he did great things in the past and be contented with that.

A Korean Odyssey

After watching Tomorrow, I immediately started watching A Korean Odyssey. It is a fantasy, lil comedy, romance, horror-ish, star-crossed lovers K-drama. This drama has been added to my list for a bit, maybe a year ago, because of that short preview from Netflix and that intrigued me because of well... it's a bit of a jumpscare so I was curious. (If you have watched that preview video, you know what I mean plus I watched that like 10pm so it scared the sh** out of me)

All I can say is that this drama deserves more recognition. It's a good balance between the good stuff and the tragic happenings and it is also accompanied by a comedic relief which somewhat gave a light tone. It is romance heavy and when I say romance heavy I meant that kind of romance . The cast are all so good in portraying their characters and they aren't that forgettable. The actors really nailed their roles and it also added to the cohesiveness of the drama as a whole.

After watching this K-Drama, I have found another actor to look out for, which is Lee SeungGi. He is actually a household name in the Korean Media Industry and I have heard of him many times, due to the famous My Girlfriend is a Gumiho and him being able to sing, but this is the first time I've actually watched a drama that he is the main character. Given I've really liked his acting here, I've added him to my favorite actors list! which btw is non existent but let's pretend it does Because of that admiration of his performance, I did watched another K-drama that he starred in in this list.

I recommend this drama if you are looking for a binge-worthy fantasy with comedy, horror-ish and also tragedy on the side. However though, I'd say the ending is a bit unfortunate. It suggests a season 2 but 5 years after it's release, I doubt that there will be a season 2 unless...

Two Cops

While watching Tomorrow, I also watched this drama with a friend; Two Cops! I'd say its a fun watch, generic but still worth the time.

It's about a police and a con artist that got into an accident and then the con artist possessed the body of the police. Sounds scary? It's not under a horror genre though. The purpose of the unexplainable possession is to uncover the truth that lies between the two leads and the other characters related to them. This follows a similar structure of intertwined lives as they have crossed paths once just like tomorrow minus the past lives as this one is from childhood to adulthood.

It's my first time watching Jo Jungsuk even after the famous hospital playlist which btw I haven't watched yet. I like the duality in his role here and his performance is convincing. He has the serious side and the goofy side which I enjoyed watching. It's also fun to see Hyeri here as I haven't watched her in a while after dropping Reply 1988 please don't come after me, a lot has enjoyed that drama but during the time that I've watched it.. I just didn't feel it. She's still the goofy and fun Hyeri that I've watched in Reply 1988 though, which is not really bad but nostalgic. As for Seonho, I did watch this drama because of him. My friend was a super fan of this guy, we call this oppa (and our other oppas) samcheon, due to having 10+ age gap between us and our favorite actors, and I've decided to binge Seonho dramas with her to let the lady enjoy and as for me I wanted to see more of his acting.

This drama is okay though, not something that made my mind blown or something. As I've mentioned, it's generic but still worth watching especially to Seonho fans. Though I can say that I'm quite disappointed that Seonho had a lil less screen time compared to Jungsuk but nonetheless they both carried the show well.

Mouse

Here is another Lee SeungGi drama as promised, (from that A Korean Odyssey post). Mouse. After watching A Korean Odyssey and enjoyed SeungGi's performance, I followed it up with another one of his dramas.

Mouse is a thriller, mystery, twisty and dark drama about psychopaths and whether or not they are born not made. This drama focuses on discovering the Psychopath gene, due to Korea's advancing technology, a Doctor was able to detect a gene that is present among Psychopaths to fetuses. It is an interesting concept but as the disclaimer in every start of the episode, it is a work of fiction, so Psychopath gene ain't real hopefully.

I'd say throughout the whole 20 episodes that I've endured, it was interesting rather than enjoyable. Giving you a grave warning that this drama isn't for the light-hearted, it's always about murder and killings, since the story focuses on Serial Killers.

Aside from the serial killings and psychopaths, Of course it focuses on a handful of characters and let's the viewers know their inner conflicts and struggles. There's no room of certainty in this drama as every episode ends with a question.

After a few episodes, I thought that this drama would overthrow my favorite K-drama of all time which is Law School but after the second half, it didn't. I had high expectations with it but after answers were revealed, it felt confusing and overwhelming as for the first 14 eps, they left me with questions and suddenly they bombarded some answers which it was too much for me to comprehend. Adding to that, there were too many characters to focus on, though the main focus would be the two main leads, there were other side characters that are also related to the story line that were also given too much stress and that made the experience dense. I'd say 16 episodes would be sufficient as the duration of 20 eps felt dragging but alright I guess they need that many episodes for the narrative.

Overall, if you are ready for a heavy drama with killings involved, I recommend this. It will make you question whether what's shown is the whole picture or details were left out. Kudos to the actors, I can really feel their stress and conflicts.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That would conclude the first part of this post. I decided that 7 dramas in one post might give a cognitive overload so stay tuned for the second part!

Thanks for making this far, it's a long post but I hope you find it interesting (or I hope it makes sense hehe).

Click here for part 2.

- ella

#tomorrow #a korean odyssey #two cops #mouse #k-drama #tomorrow kdrama #two cops kdrama #mouse kdrama #lee seunggi #kim seonho #jo jungsuk #hyeri #rowon #kim hee sun #mbc tomorrow

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loveyhoneydovey · 4 years ago

Text

SFW Alphabet with Joaquín Torres

Note: I've been dying to write something like this so I decided to do it with my baby first. Might do Sam next

All my stories are written with a bisexual reader of colour in mind, but anyone else is more than welcome to read them

Joaquín Torres x GN!Reader

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He’s a very affectionate partner and especially shows his love through physical affection and acts of service. He wants to feel useful and do his best to make life easier and more enjoyable for you.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

He’d be the type of best friend that’s not physically there often, due to the nature of his job. However, when you do get a chance to spend it feels like he’s never been gone. He completely focuses on you, asks for updates about your life and checks if you need anything. He’s so chill and he’s got the type of personality that has you at ease. You first met him at a mutual friend’s wedding, you both got a bit tipsy and decided to hang out with each other and that was the start of a beautiful friendship

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

YES!!! As I previously mentioned, he loves physical touch and cuddling is one of his favourite ways of showing affection. He loves being the small spoon and he’s not ashamed to say it. He says it’s because you make him feel safe and makes him feel like he has a home to go back to after all the shit he sees

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He wants to settle down for sure, eventually. Before meeting you, he thought that would come later, but you definitely made him rethink. I don’t think he’s the best cook, but I think he has a few of recipes of food his mom made him when he was younger. Those are the ones he learned to perfect. As for cleaning, because of how strict his life is at the army, I think he allows himself to be a bit messy at home. Definitely messy and not dirty. You both try to split house chores evenly.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

I think he’d be honest and would do it in person. Ending a relationship that played such an important part in his life is definitely heartbreaking, but he thinks he owes it to himself and to you to put an end to it before it gets worse. He’d rather end things on semi good terms than letting it sour and go nowhere.

F = Fiancé(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He always told himself, when it came to relationships, he’d go with the flow and see how he felt about long-term commitment. He’s a m*ilitary boy, so I think he kinda (unintentionally) follows the stereotype and proposes quickly. Although in his case he does it because he’s truly in love with you and doesn’t want to wait longer than he has to make you his. He’d propose after about a year and a half I’d say.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Have you seen him? He’s the gentlest sweetest baby in every way. I think the fact that he sees so much violence and horror during his deployment pushes him to be more gentle in other aspects of his life. More specifically with you and his family. He wants you to feel like you can come to him for anything whether it’s when you’re feeling down or when you’ve cut your finger on a piece of glass. Either way he’ll treat you with kindness, but not like you’re breakable.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

omg he LOVES hugs. Again, due to the nature of his job, he doesn’t get a lot of physical affection, which drives him crazy. So when he’s home, you can expect him to attack you with hugs all day long. Doesn’t matter if you’re washing the dishes or brushing your teeth. He’ll come up from behind and wrap his arms around your waist, while putting his chin on your shoulder. If you’re facing him, he’s going to engulf you and wrap his arms around you. His hugs are warm and comforting and make you feel safe.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

oh real quick, but actually so do you. I actually headcanon that you two say it at the same time by accident. You both were probably nervous because it was after like two months, but end up laughing it off cause you were so in sync.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He understands the root of jealousy is mostly insecurity, so he doesn’t get jealous often, because he’s secure in his relationship with you and is actually pretty confident with himself. Of course, it happens occasionally, he’s only human. However, you both always thought that feeling jealous sometimes wasn’t bad, but what could lead to issues was the way one could act on it. So, whenever he feels jealous he takes a moment to collect his thoughts if he needs to, then you’d both talk about it.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His kisses are often playful and sweet. He doesn’t like to take himself too seriously and neither do you, so you keep things light and playful, but that doesn’t mean it’s not passionate. On the contrary, you feel his love for you with every kiss he leaves on you skin. His favourite place to kiss you is on the nose, because of the way you scrunch it and giggle after he kisses it. As for where he liked to be kissed, soon after you started dating, you found out he loved being shirtless which allowed you to notice he had a beauty mark on the upper part of his right shoulder. From that moment, you developed a habit of kissing it and it made him melt, so it became his favourite place to be kissed.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Oh the BEST. For some reason he attracts them. You told him it was probably because he was a child himself and he flipped you off. You actually think it’s because he’s so cheerful and happy, and he treats them like they’re his friends. You’ve caught him having full on conversations with your friends’ babies who couldn’t even speak yet. And once you had kids, he did the same thing with them.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Whenever possible, you have lazy mornings where you alternate between sleeping, having lazy morning sex and snacking. If it’s a regular morning, he usually has to leave before you, and every time you’d try to distract him and make him stay a bit longer. He’s so used to your “five more minutes, please” that he started waking up five minutes earlier.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

This man has a whole skincare routine before going to sleep. If you also do, then you both complete your routines side by side in front of the bathroom mirror. He might read a bit before bed (and you try to sneakily take a pic of him in his glasses cause you think he looks so cute), or you’d both talk about your day and maybe cuddle a bit before turning off your lamps and getting some sleep.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He’d open up slowly, there was no pressure between the two of you and he took his time to share the more difficult parts of his life. Now if you open up to him about something defining or traumatic that happened in your life, he might open up faster to let you know you’re not alone, but also to reciprocate the trust you put in him.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He’s pretty patient most of the time and tries to not let himself get angry over little things, however he’s still human. So depending on the gravity of the situation, he might get angered quickly if he sees something upsetting happening, however, he’s very careful with the way he reacts. He knows something done in anger can lead to regret and guilt, so he thinks before he acts and speaks.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

I think he’d remember an important date like your birthday, he knows around what time your anniversary is, but I feel like he would forget which date it is exactly. He’d remember the most random facts about you, like the kind of stuff where you think he was paying attention, but he was listening subconsciously.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Cliché, but it was during your honeymoon. It was the first time you had referred to him as your husband and it made his heart swell with pride. The love you held for him was so obvious when you looked at him.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He’s protective when he needs to be. He’s not overbearing and trusts that you’re capable of taking care of yourself most of the time. He will step in if he feels like a situation is escalating (let’s say if you’re getting physically or verbally harassed) and he will put himself physically between you and whoever’s trying to harm you.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Omg listen this baby puts so much effort into making your dates enjoyable. He plans out full picnics with cute cakes and charcuterie boards and that doesn’t stop as your relationship progresses. Any gifts he gives you usually have a meaning behind them, and he doesn’t always buy them, sometimes he makes them himself. As I said, he is a bit messy in his daily life, but you two actually have a chart with who’s supposed to do what and that’s how you share your chores, and he does mostly follow it.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He has a habit of leaving some important stuff until the last minute. It works out in the end, but it causes him an unnecessary amount of stress.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

… have you seen the amount shirtless selfies Danny takes? I think Torres is the exact same. So, he does like to take care of his looks, especially when he sees the effect it has on you. And he has to stay in shape either way, due to his job

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

I think he’d be heartbroken and might feel incomplete for the first few months, but as time goes one, he begins to feel whole again and learns to feel self sufficient.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He wants to learn another language fluently someday. He wants to help people and he thinks there’s no better way than being able to understand their needs in their native language to be able to help

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

I think he doesn’t like the smell of cigarettes or smoke. He doesn’t mind if his partner’s a smoker, but he probably wouldn’t be around them while they’re smoking.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

This boy sleeps in the weirdest, funniest positions. Like you’d go to sleep in a normal position side by side, or with your back to him, then when you’d wake up you’d find him in a new position every time.

#joaquin torres x reader #joaquin torres imagine #joaquin torres #tfatws imagine #tfatws

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seonghwa-is-babie · 4 years ago

Text

Soft kitten

Hybrid! Seonghwa x male reader

Warning: mentioned abuse, crying, angst

Note: I think this the fastest I've ever redone a fic😳😳

Hope u enjoy!

"get up, pet" the guard said as seonghwa's cage opened, stepping out with his ears and tail hanging low. not really sure where he had to go, only knowing to obey orders, or he'll get even more beatings than just the daily torture of malnutrition.

Seonghwa lost hope ever since they kidnapped him from his home in the jungles and brought him to this prison like building, he had tried escaping many times, but every one of those failed. and the punishment for them was even worse than a failed attempt at freedom

They stopped in front of a curtain, pushing the boy through it. He fell to the ground, only when he looked up did he realise what his situation was. It was an auction, selling hybrids for a lot of money

"now up next as you can see, this beautiful white tiger hybrid, only 22 years old" prices were being shouted through the room, building up price little by little, until "$100,000,000" a voice said, this shocked everyone, including seonghwa. who'd give out that much just for a hybrid? "sold! You may come and get your hybrid after the auction"

After the auction, they put him back in his cage. He secretly hoped his new 'home' will be better than this one, though, he doubts it'll be anything different from his current life. Footsteps started coming to his cage and stopped in front of him

"get up" said the man who sold him. Seonghwa had trouble with it due to his wounds from the previous beatings "I'm terribly sorry for his lazy attitude sir" he said as the boy got up to face his new owner "it's fine" said the man who bought him. he was handsome, but seonghwa wasn't one to be fooled easily by appearances. he wore a fancy velvet suit and had (h/c) hair that was styled neatly

The older man did the leash on seonghwa's collar and handed it to the other "it's all yours now" the man nodded and left the building, seonghwa's ears still hanging low. He was glad to be out of there, but what will happen after this?

They got to a car that was parked relatively close, the other opened the door for him. Seonghwa didn't ask anything and stepped inside, the other went to the drivers seat and started driving "so what's your name?" he looked up shyly and said "s-s-seonghwa, sir." "that's a pretty name, and you can drop the sir or any formalities, just call me y/n." seonghwa blushed "thank you si- y/n, sorry" y/n shook it off.

🐯

The rest of the ride was quiet, seonghwa being too afraid and shy to start any conversation. "you don't talk much, do you?" y/n asked, seonghwa tensed up afraid he did something wrong

"it's alright, I get it. Your previous home must've been rough and laid down a lot of rules" y/n looked at seonghwa through the mirror of the car "I'm sorry you had to go through that, but don't worry, you won't have to go through that ever again, I'll make sure of it"

was his luck finally turning around? he didn't wanna get his hopes up too high too soon though, after all the man could just be lying to him "actually, I already have 7 hybrids I take care of already, they're like family to me." this made the smaller relieved, yet still nervous and frankly, a bit scared, what if the other hybrids don't like him or beat him like some of the others did back at his now old home.

They arrived at a big mansion, to seonghwa, it was a bit terrifying. When they got out of the car, y/n gestured seonghwa to come closer, the other obeyed but got extremely nervous when he felt hands around his neck, he flinched, pulling away "oh, I'm sorry, I was just gonna take your collar off since it looks a bit uncomfortable" seonghwa calmed down a bit, enough to let y/n finish taking his collar off. The older then gestured to take his hand, which the other took

Y/n opened the door, hoping the boys didn't mess up the house too bad, only to be met with no damage whatsoever "huh, that's new. Nothing's broken or damaged" seonghwa looked at him confused, but decided against asking, since he was still a bit on edge

He heard multiple pairs of feet come their way and hid behind y/n "hyung! You're home!" multiple voices said, they must be his other hybrids. All of them ran up to him to give him a hug, and that's when they noticed Seonghwa "hyung, who's that?" San, a cat hybrid who was currently in the older's arms, pointed behind y/n, eager to know the strangers name

"right, boys could you all please calm down a bit, I have some important news" that made the boys perk up "I've decided to bring another friend home, this is seonghwa, I hope you'll be kind to him like you are to each other. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to show seonghwa his room, you can ask him questions after that"

🐯

It's been about a month since seonghwa was introduced to the house, and he felt like he was in heaven, many friends, a loving owner that helped him get over past traumas, who he might be starting to like a little more than just his owner, and the freedom to finally chose for himself.

but not everything was all sunshine and rainbows. After a few weeks he started to question why he was even brought into this house, why y/n wanted him so badly that he spent $100,000,000 on him alone. how could seonghwa ever even try to pay him back, at this point he just feels like a burden to the man

🐯

One evening after dinner, seonghwa headed to his room early , claiming he was tired. When he got to his room, he started thinking 'why would he take me in, it seems like he has enough hybrids already, so why bring home another mouth to feed. He should have just left me there, where I won't be a burden to him' thinking more and more of these thoughts, he started to silently cry into his sheets

🐯

"boys, I'm gonna check up on seonghwa ok, I'll be back in a minute" the youngsters gave him quick 'ok' and went back to the show that was playing. As y/n was walking towards his room, he couldn't help but feel worried about the tiger hybrid, something seemed a bit odd when he went to his room so early.

He opened the door to seonghwa's room, only to find the latter seemingly sound asleep. y/n smiled at him and went to close the door, until he heard a quiet sniff coming from seonghwa's direction "seonghwa?" he didn't answer "seonghwa?" again, he didn't answer, but the older went in because he knew that he wasn't just hearing things.

He crouched down on the younger's bedside, but he had already covered his face with his blanket "seonghwa, could you please lower the sheets, I want to see your face for a second" y/n spoke in a gentle tone. The younger shook his head "please seonghwa, I want to make sure you're alright, and I can't do that without looking at your face

Seonghwa hesitated, but slowly lowered the sheets, revealing his red eyes and tear stained cheeks, the older immediately became worried, but tried to keep his calm "kitten, what's wrong? Did someone hurt you? Is it-"

"why did you get me?" y/n was shocked at that "you already have so many, so why bring in another mouth to feed. You could have easily left me to get bought by someone else. So why?! Why did you buy a stupid tiger that's nothing more than a burden to you?!?!"

he couldn't believe what he was hearing, to him, seonghwa, though having only been here for a short time, has become one of the most important people in his life. He couldn't let seonghwa think about himself like that

"seonghwa, i got you because from the first time I saw you, I knew you needed someone, someone that loves you and respects you, and I thought, I could be that person. It doesn't matter to me how many hybrids there are in my house, I will take care of all of you no matter what. And trust me, you're not a burden, you already help so much around the house, and the others already love you to death, I love you to death. Please, don't think that about yourself, I know you've been through a lot of stuff, but right here, right now, I'll promise to keep you save until I draw my last breath, you're save with us, with me"

Seonghwa cried, but these tears were those of happiness. He engulfed y/n in a hug, wrapping his arms around the olders neck while putting his head in his his chest "th-th-an-k you, thank you so much!" y/n stroked the younger's back, carefully lifting himself on the bed "it's alright dear, you're safe with me, no one's gonna hurt you"

🐯

After a while of comforting y/n realised he hasn't told the boys to go to bed yet "sweetheart, I have to go see the boys for a little and make sure they go to bed, is that alright with you?" seonghwa didn't let him go "can't you stay here?" he chuckled at the younger clinging onto him as if his life depended on it

"I'll only be gone for a few minutes, then I'll come straight back to you" the younger continued his whining "nooooo, I wanna stay with you" y/n lifted him up so he was wrapped around his chest, clinging on him like a koala "then you're coming with me"

"boys, it's time for bed" y/n said as he came downstairs, the others looked at him with a questioning look "what?" he asked, the others gave knowing looks to each other "hyung?" San asked "yeah, what is it?" the next words, y/n definitely didn't expect to hear "do you like seonghwa hyung?"

🐯

The question had stuck with him since the others went to bed 'maybe I do like him, he brings a smile to my face just by existing, he's a true sweetheart, not to mention he's the most beautiful person i've ever laid my eyes on' " umm, y/n?" the older turned his head to seonghwa "I ummm, might have heard what you and San talked about" y/n sighed, sitting up from the bed, already knowing where this was going "I understand it if you felt uncomfortable about that, but he wasn't wrong actually, I've found myself quite fond of you actually, but I completely understand if these feelings aren't the same for you."

the two stood there in complete silence "I guess I should go I probably made this extrem-" "no wait!" y/n looked back at seonghwa who's face was completely red "umm, I umm, I also like you, the feelings' mutual" he almost stuttered out completely. The older smiled softly at him, crawling back into bed with him, petting his ears "You're so soft, kitten."

#ateez #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez x male reader #kpop #kpop x male reader #seonghwa x male reader #hybrid #park seonghwa #seonghwa

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ganymedesclock · 3 years ago

Note

K, N, and P for the fanfic asks please?

K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?

See this is a bit tricky because I have a somewhat contentious relationship with the idea of 'angst'- not as it's typically used, but that I feel like sadness is a thing you have to balance and blend just right, or you end up with something that feels exaggerated and hollow and melodramatic.

My personal pedantry aside, though, I think that the majority of stories I write have some element of darkness and certainly some elements of hurt/comfort to them, even when it's about sparing a character who dies in canon. I have this "no free lunch" corollary where if a character avoids death, I feel like it should be a near miss and have consequences. So I have a take of Maria Robotnik somewhere where the gunshot wound didn't kill her but it did permanently damage her spine and she's a paraplegic wheelchair user; PK in Refuge For Resolve not only has the facial crack his unresponsive body in canon gained but he's also got a void-related affliction he's trying to manage, and Tiso in Nos Morituri survives taking a mawlek to the entire body, but has to face the possibility of permanent disability muscling in on the strength he was so arrogantly proud of to get himself into this situation in the first place, and changing his entire fighting style as a result.

It probably isn't astonishing to say that I also am a co-author on a long-runner Zelda fic I've mentioned a few times before and scars are a huge theme in that. But I don't generally think of this stuff as 'angst'- I think it's a lot of just, what interests me personally so it's stuff I like to play with. It makes it hard for me to really tell what qualifies as Really Heavy Stuff to other people.

Of my current projects, admittedly I'd say the Zelda fanfic is probably the darkest compared to its source material- like my HK fanfiction is set in a full-stop gothic horror universe so if I have PK surviving and actually reaching the emotional health to regret a lot of his actions and make sincere effort towards a better future that's pretty darn chummy compared to HK.

But that same tone- which is again, to me, neutral, because I just really like gothic horror and it's a flavor I put in anything- really stands out in Legend of Zelda which absolutely has fucked up stuff but largely consigns it to being sorta isolated and/or forced to share a game with robots that flirt with your sword and cynical clown men whose raison d'etre is shooting people out of comically oversized cannons.

So, uh, fucked up-ness is relative? it's relative. And it feels like, presumptuous as a horror writer to crown the most fucked up of my own ideas. That's for the audience to do. Squeeze the tears back into your body and tell me how they tasted.

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

See this is another tricky question because I think all writers have some manner of love hate relationship with the idea of magic button that make story go brr without your input but also the pride in our creations hinges overwhelmingly on the fact that it's ours, and damn the gales or the ravages that made it hard to create.

Incidentally this is also why I rarely feel too miffed about people taking inspiration from my works or borrowing ideas to use for their own writing; technically anybody else could write another idea for me, or pick up one of the countless ideas or half-finished fics I'd discarded with time, and that would certainly be something interesting; it just wouldn't be mine, it'd be theirs instead. Which I think is a good thing about art. We can get very up in arms about faithful or unfaithful adaptations (sometimes, for very noble reasons!) but I think that in many ways the thing about ideas and stories is that even people with mutually perfect grasps of the text will have completely different notions about what it means.

And I think this is the biggest reason I like having an audience. I love hearing about what my stuff means to other people.

P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an “architect” or a “gardener”? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)

I quite frankly could afford to do a lot more planning. I don't just mean this as idle self-deprecation!

Generally, ideas come very easily and naturally to me. Putting any amount of media or content into my brain causes it to ping all over the place like kernels in a popcorn machine. Even leaving ideas to fester just boils them down into stock that feeds new ideas. It's one way that my adhd definitely works with my writing process on a formative level, and I think that it is a big connection to the way I engage and interrelate with media. At the same time, though, if it has a drawback, it's that it's always easier to run off on a new idea than stick by a current project.

In that sense, to run with the 'gardener' metaphor, I have tremendous success getting things to take seed and grow, but not so much with an actual nice or orderly garden- but I've met some people with some absolutely beautiful topiaries and ivy-encrusted fountains, and getting older and more experienced myself, I've been getting more precise with the pruning shears and thinking harder about what things are going to mean. A great comparison for this is if you compare my 'early draft', Refuse and Regret, to my current ongoing one of the same story, Refuge For Resolve, I planned absolutely nothing in Refuse and Regret. I had the VAGUEST notion of where I wanted some things to go but I was really just running with it and deciding chapter-to-chapter what I wanted to happen next and while this meant it was tremendous fun to write, in hindsight it's pretty labyrinthine and potentially directionless. RFR, meanwhile, I thought a lot more on it- if nothing else, lining it up with my friend Meta's parallel fic meant I've had to think about certain achievements or thresholds PK runs into.

Admittedly, this does mean that a lot of ideas for Refuse and Regret went to the wayside. There was a concept I entertained briefly of PK leaving the Ancient Basin by way of the Deepnest Tram Station and getting shoved off a ledge to his (temporary) death by Galien.

#fanfiction ask meme #readmore #curse my unwillingness to make short replies and call them good

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dolphin-enthusiast · 5 years ago

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Matchup? (And I swear to God if it's Rohan-) I'm an average sized female with curly brown hair and brown eyes. I'm currently going to school at Yale. I'm double majoring in criminal justice and psychology to become a forensic psychologist. I'm Australian and I go home every break because I miss the place. I've picked up so much American slang and that's pretty great. I hate it when my American friends make fun of my accent and misuse slang... It's annoying. -Aussie (1)

"I sadly fit into the stereotype that is loving drinking games. But Americans do that to ya know! I dislike spiders, but I'm not afraid of them. Just don't want them in my house. Out of all my roommates I'm the most respectful to wildlife. When I was a kid, my dad taught me how to sign bullshit in American Sign Language. I do it all the time when I need to call out my deaf friend and she says fuck you right back. -Aussie (2)

I enjoy long walks on the beach. I can't surf for shit though. I'm clumsy as hell. I enjoy running and exercising though. I prefer cats over dogs. I can be pretty rude when I want to be. Oh hell. I'm rude to pretty much anyone who doesn't know me. I'm actually a huge art enthusiast. I love it. I doodle quite a lot. I enjoy the woods and hiking quite a lot. I can take a hint when someone wants me to shut up. I just don't because I'm annoying. My favorite animals are lions. -Aussie (3)

I really vibe with all kinds of music. I have five brothers and two illegitimate brothers and I'm the only girl (I'm straight by the way). I'm very very tomboyish. Last time I went home I accidentally shoved my brother through a wall by yelling Vibe Check and shoving him as hard as I could. Good times. Sometimes, when I'm not being an absolute shithead I usually read or do art or study. Do you know how hard it is to get into a college overseas?!?! It's hard af. -Aussie (4)

I am an ENTP, type 8 on the Enneagram, and a Gemeni, and I hate being the same sign as fucking Ghiaccio. I love to read though. I like reading Lord of The Rings the most. I have a VISA and I'm debating on if I actually want to emigrate to the US, still deciding. I like hot sauce. Can this be parts 1-3 the older ones are my favorite ones due to the badass muscle men. Who do you match me with o matchmaker of the matches? -Aussie (5)"

"I hate being the same sign as fucking Ghiaccio" me and you both sis🤡🤡🤡

I match you with...

JOSEPH!

Ok but your entire description radiated SEVERE chaotic energy and I instantly knew Joseph was the right one for he's just as wild as you are. Your seemingly rude behavior actually made him be interested in you since he likes "different" people. He also pretty much loves your tomboy aesthetic.

He too vibes with all kinds of music genres and happens to know sign language as well so expect him to also say fuck you back to you (the laugh his ass off like a maniac.) He's also fond of drinking games but be careful for he usually gets wasted pretty easily then starts doing all sorts of crackhead stuff.

He's DEFINITELY the type to also shove people while screaming "V I B E C H E C K" and it would truly be no surprise if you two would be constantly surprise attacking eachother like this. While he isn't an artist himself, he does think you're pretty talented and would be fond of watching you doodle. He pretty much also enjoys working out so be prepared for he'd often be challenging you to race with him.

#jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo no kimyou na bouken #battle tendency #joseph joestar #jojo headcanons #matchups #anon

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creek-cryptid-deluxe · 5 years ago

Text

WARNING DRAMA AHEAD

(Which is crazy because I try to actively have a drama free lifestyle)

So, awhile back I wrote about some issues in a friend group containing A & Em. Summary: I chatted with Em about A unintentionally making me feel shitty for FINALLY accepting my limitations & making lifestyle & wardrobe changes to reflect that. Em said she'd talk to A because if I did it, A might feel attacked & get defensive.

Day before yesterday, Em dropped by to hang, help me put together a shoerack, and go to a local costume shop that does rentals and serves all the theater departments & dance companies in a 70 mile radius. This shop is amazing, been around since I was little, almost everything is hand made with amazing care and detail, and the decor in their shop is ever changing, detailed, and super fucking cool. ANYWAY, we got on the subject of A, whom I've only seen once or twice since talking to Em about it & seemed ok both times aside from getting legit pissed that I'm better at macrame plant holders than she is. Apparently A currently thinks I dislike her or like her less or something. So I asked Em if I should gently talk to her about it and see if we can reach an understanding. She said she thought it was a good idea h really, I don't like one of my friends thinking I dislike them. So yesterday I pulled together some courage and messaged her. The following is the conversation that occured:

Me: So, I've heard that you are upset and under the impression that I don't like you anymore or like you less or something. So I'm gonna clear the air, but I'm gonna be blunt and honest with you because I'm not down for lying. K? (And let me go ahead and flat out say, I don't dislike you or like you any less)

A:I've just been feeling some reservations toward me lately. Go ahead I can take blunt.

(Spoiler: she cannot take even sugarcoated gentle level blunt)

ME: So here is the deal. My illness is eternal and is only ever going to get worse. In fact, it is constantly getting worse in small, large, and sometimes interesting & unexpected ways. Sometimes it creeps on slowly, sometimes it hits like an anvil was dropped on me. Therefore I am constantly having to adjust my lifestyle, activities, wardrobe... EVERYTHING. Very recently, I realized that I have spent the last 3 years trying to live my old life and just cope so my quality of life has been SHIT. I've finally truly accepted the shithole that is my health for what it is and have started to truly make real adjustments to my lifestyle, hobbies, wardrobe, ect. Because I will never get better and live in about 400 sq ft (at best) that means when I realize something doesn't fit my abilities or needs anymore, I get rid of it. However, I always offer those things to the kids & my friends first before donating them. But here's the thing, when I offer these things to you, I get a load of questions & comments that end up making me feel like I have failed as a person for realizing what has taken me 3 years to realize. For example: when I told you that Julia's candles were my last batch ever, there were loads of 'have you tried...' and 'I'm sure you can find a way.' I know you mean well, but if I'm giving something up, I've truly tried ever avenue to make it work within my limits and it just doesn't. Even after I quit candles in May, I kept the stuff (which took up massive space) until August because I doubted myself and was reluctant to lose another hobby. But I need to face facts and be realistic. Same with the sweater. I am drastically altering my wardrobe for whatever the upcoming season is to fit the fact that I need my cane at all times now (POCKETS) and the fact that my clothes need to be comfy enough for me to get dressed every day not just days I'm leaving the house. I've lived in PJs for the last year and a half and it's not good for my mental health. So all things that don't fit that criteria or my new altered lifestyle must go. And it's going to be a constant process because I'm constantly getting worse. The jewelry making stuff, I genuinely forgot you wanted it because honestly i don't even remember what happened yesterday, so I'm sorry. (I had jewelry making supplies that I can't use anymore due to -15 hand strength, which I gave to Em.)

A: I'm sorry that I've been putting you down and making you feel shity. That's never been my intention. If I ask a ton of questions it's not because I don't understand the severity and challenges in your daily life. I ask so many questions because I often find unconventional wacky solutions to peoples problems all the time and if I can be in the slightest bit helpful in finding a loophole or a way you might not have seen, I thought that would be better than just saying "I'm so sorry to hear that" I figured you hear that enough but idk how often you hear people actually trying to find a way. Like the sweater example, I would have been happy to take you shopping for a fun print material the made you some pockets. Outside like a cool patchwork with awesome prints, or inside like a bond detective. But you were so quick to snap at me and explain your whole situation like I am not taking you seriously. I ask because I want to hear your needs and maybe just maybe be able to help out. But if all I do is make you feel like your grandma did then I'll do you a favor and stop inviting myself over to make you feel shitty. I'm glad Emma always knows just what to say.

Now at this point, I stopped replying. I was kind of shocked at her response. Like, I expected her to explain her intentions, despite me making it clear I knew her intentions were good, because that's what people do. I expected us to discuss how things should be moving forward so I don't continue to feel like a failure. I considered maybe mentioning somewhere in there that if I want help or advice or solutions, I'll fucking ask. But I did NOT expect those last couple sentences where she basically stomped her feet and said well since this isn't going how I want, I'm not playing with you guys anymore.

After careful thought, writing & editing over a 5 hr period, I sent this (which are screenshots from my notes because typing is rough, I wanted to convey what I wanted just right, and now you have to click on them to see the full thing. I'm sorry I've failed you, the reader of this normal convo turned melodrama, in such a fashion.):

She responded at like 2 am (when I was asleep) so I saw there was a response when I woke up, but given the history of her behavior in situations like this (conveyed via Em, who has known her MUCH longer) I decided not to open it just yet, as I'd like to relax and enjoy my day. This shit stresses me out. I don't do drama and tantrums. I don't tolerate it from my teenage Spawn, much less fucking adults. I get the feeling that the response is going to be just as melodramatic & tantrum filled. If this is how she handles her intentions not aligning with the result of her actions that were driven by said intentions, then she's in for a real shock when she leaves the cuddlebox of college and enters the real world. Your boss isn't going to care about how good your intentions were when you accidentally burned down the kitchen of the bakery you work in. They will just care that you burned down their fucking business.

Welp, may as well rip off the bandaid. For you, my dear reader, to have closure I will read the response. Back in a sec.

OMG IT WAS SO MUCH MORE DRAMATIC THAN I EXPECTED.

A:I understand. And I told you where I stand. I am the type of friend that instinctually tries to help those she cares deeply about. I'm not the friend to just sit and feel bad when there's something I can do. But I have been feeling for a while now unwanted and you have confirmed it by not saying anything then, just talking about it to my former close friend, and then throwing it in my face that you have been holding on to a box cuz of me. And like the adult i am, I don't see why I should change the type of friend I am just because some one is ungrateful for it. I'll go help someone else leave their abusive boyfriend's in the middle of the night. for the people I care about I'd do anything, anything except sit and do nothing while I'm told how much worse I make things when I try and help. I will just take my good intentions elsewhere. I have had the worst year of my life but I don't remember you asking me once anyway. I wish you the best buy obviously your life is better without me and my negativity in it. I truly am sorry I hurt your feelings and I never ever wanted to. I cherished your friendship more than you'll ever know and you can ask anyone. But because I can't see myself sitting by biting my tongue around you and waking on eggshells because I clearly can't see the bounty between helpful conversion and being a cunt. Since I respect you so much I'll go ahead and remove that stupid cunt from your life so you won't be put down again.

HOOOLY SHIT. I'm not responding to that giant fucking dramatic pity party. She legit needs to grow the fuck up. Good god.

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