#and the older can't help feeling like a parent and resenting the younger one not needing him anymore

[onlyjaeyun]

𝐇𝐘𝐏𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐘

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄: 𝐝𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐚 𝐝𝐚𝐲

࿏ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐒𝐢𝐦 𝐉𝐚𝐞𝐲𝐮𝐧 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

࿏ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭!𝐀𝐔 (𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫), 𝐧𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐬/𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬!𝐀𝐔, 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞!𝐀𝐔; 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟, (𝐟𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞) 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭

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࿏ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐉𝐚𝐞𝐲𝐮𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐨𝐫...

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Once you get your manager's okay, you quickly retreat to the back of the shop to get yourself changed and sneak out of the back door in hopes of the oldest Sim brother not even noticing your absence.

For a moment you feel your heart pounding in your throat from how anxious and nervous you are; the thought of having to face the man who you've been warned about definitely playing with your nerves and you can't help but imagine the worst.

You definitely regret only telling Heeseung about it, yet you're still convinced keeping it from Jaeyun for now is the best way to go with it. He's been dealing with this for the past two weeks and has finally felt calm enough to spend some time outside of his apartment, you definitely aren't going to ruin this for him.

Of course you thought about the possibility of his brother following you, yet you still hope he just drops it and leaves once you're on your way.

However, destiny doesn't really tend to be on your side in cases like this, which is why the first person you run into as soon as you walk through the back door happens to be none other than Sim Chan.

"Hello", he calmly begins and intentionally ignores your loud gasp and facial expression of surprise and shock.

Your first instinct is to just keep walking.

You don't know him, you don't owe him anything, not even the words of a greeting.

Yet, you seem to underestimate his persistence.

"Please, just a single minute", Chan suddenly says and takes off his baseball hat, reveals dark blonde hair and turns into the reason you start noticing the family resemblance to the other Sim boys.

The big, round eyes full of emotion, his slightly bigger yet straight nose and every single one of his sharp features.

You gulp harshly as the guilt takes over you, yet for some reason you can't seem to make yourself go away.

And as all those stories, the ones Jake, Sunoo and Heeseung have told you about him, the heartbreak the older brother has made his younger one go through and all the resentment in the young parent's voice whenever he talked about him comes to your mind, you take a deep breath and straighten yourself.

"Look", you sigh and run a hand through your hair, your phone vibrating in your pocket as you try your best to maintain the eye contact, "talking to you and hearing you out is not my place, in absolutely no universe. Please, don't bring me into this. Jae and Yunie mean a lot to me, I can't risk losing them."

Your words are honest and genuine, and from the way Chan starts nodding in defeat, you can tell he's actually understood just how serious you are about this.

"Yeah, that's what I thought", he replies calmly and lets out a deep sigh.

"Please, leave them alone", you whisper and try to swallow the knot in your throat at the images of a heartbroken Jake filling your mind and despite the sudden rage rushing through your body, you remain as calm as possible.

"Or at least give them time. Jaeyun hasn't healed from your betrayal yet because he hasn't had the time to actually cope with it. All these years he had to be strong and calm for Seyun , so please", you take a step back and let your eyes meet his for one last time.

"I'm sorry for following you like this", Chan mumbles and takes a deep breath, "I guess I really am desperate. This won't happen again and please don't tell Jakey about this."

"That's not going to happen", you reply quickly, the mere thought of betraying the man you've been losing your heart to sending chills down your arms, "I'm going to tell him about this because I actually owe him a lot more than I do you. Have a good day."

You don't wait for his response before you quickly make your way to the other side of the street and jump into the next taxi despite your destination only being a ten minute walk away.

As soon as you come to sit down and tell the driver where to go, you let out a loud sigh and reach for your phone, your heart skipping a beat as soon as you see Jake's name on your display.

Just as you're about to call him back, your phone starts ringing again and at the sight of the two Sim brothers on your phone, you can't help but feel your breath hitch in your throat from the actual adrenaline rush you just went through.

"Hey", you say and try to calm down the rapid beating of your heart to hide the nervousness from the young parent, knowing he'll catch up on your shift in emotional state rather quickly.

"Hey, pretty girl", Jake replies and you can literally hear the smile on his face, his voice almost instantly putting your soul at ease and you can't help but sigh again.

"I'm on my way to you guys!" You try your very best to sound as enthusiastic as you are but a million thoughts are rushing through your mind and you've never struggled to distract yourself from them as much ss in that particular moment.

"We know", Jaeyun chuckles and fills your chest with warmth, "and we're really excited. But why didn't you wait for us? You worked so hard today, didn't want you to make things even more exhausting for you."

His gentle and thoughtful choice of words makes you push your lips into a pout and the urge to just fall asleep in his arms slowly becomes absolutely unbearable.

"It's okay, my manager let me go a little earlier and this shift wasn't as bad as usual", you explain and start looking around for the group of boys as soon as the car starts driving along the beginning of the park, "and I took a taxi so no walking for me."

"Oh? Is that you then! At your left!" His sudden exclaim of excitement fills your ears and with wide eyes you try to follow his directions and just as expected you quickly spot a smiley Jaeyun making his way to you.

You start chuckling and tell the taxi driver to stop before you hand him the money and get out of the car once you've said your goodbyes and thank yous.

You start waving at the boys behind Jake's figure, your excitement growing as soon as your eyes fall to the tiniest of them and finally you feel yourself letting go of what happened just a few minutes prior.

However, it's probably also because of the way Jaeyun is quick to reach for your hand and pull you into a tight hug, his strong arms embracing your body almost instantly and the feeling of absolute security surrounds you just as fast.

You don't say anything as you bury your face in his neck snd return the tight hug, holding onto him a little longer and quickly stopping him from letting you go.

"Is everything okay, pretty girl?", Jake says and you hear the worry wavering in his voice, overshadowing the excitement easily.

You just nod and don't feel bad or ashamed for taking your time with the hug because it's exactly what you need and as if Jaeyun knew, he just sighs and gently caresses your back with his big hands.

After what feels like an eternity you pull away and look at him with soft eyes, his naturally excited gaze roaming your face attentively and before Jake gets the actual chance to analyse your facial expressions, you take his face into your hands and pull him into a gentle yet passionate kiss.

Despite his intial shock, Jake quickly reciprocates and pulls you even closer to his body, eliciting a soft gasp from your throat and you love how you can actually feel his cool skin slowly heating up underneath your fingertips.

You lose yourself in the feeling of his lips meeting yours, the way he sighs and even grunts into your mouth as well as his taste slowly coating your tongue and yet again leaving you completely lightheaded.

Jake lets out another loud sigh before he pulls away and lets his lips find your forehead, mostly to hide his flushed cheeks but also because he has to calm himself down.

"Wow", he chuckles and looks at you with slightly hooded eyes, nervously pulling his bottom lip between his teeth and kissing your forehead again before he comes to stand next to you.

"You're going to drive me crazy." His words make you laugh, which instantly dies down as soon as you're met with the sight of all five boys standing in a line just staring at the two of you with wide eyes, except for Yunie.

Little guy's just excited to finally spend some time with you after staying at his gran's most of the week to be with his cousins and you're more than just grateful when he starts running towards you.

"Hey, handsome!" You laugh and get on your knees with widened arms to quickly pull him into a tight hug.

"If anyone makes a comment I will shave your eyebrows off and wax your leg hairs when you're asleep", you press through gritted teeth to make it sound like you're joking, yet from the way you're actually glaring at them, the boys know to keep quiet. At least for now.

"Do you wanna play soccer with us, Noona? You can be on my and Jay Hyung's team!"

And who are you to deny a request as sweet as this one, so all you do is nod and take your bag off to place it on the little blanket the boys had brought along before you finally let your gaze shift to the older brother, who's still busy getting over what just happened.

"Let's go, losers", you say and make a run for the ball, your words finally gain the attention of them all and before any of them can even crack another shit eating grin, you and Seyun run towards the goal and unofficially start the next round.

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[bambi-kinos]

After reading your view on John's treatment of Paul, I have to ask if you also have thougts on what happend between George and Paul during and after post Beatles. We know how they both treated him as the younger brother and how he tought they were to busy being John and Paul so they failed to see him though other artist saw him etc. We can also understand how he back away from John and Yoko. But what was his problems with Paul? Paul played on more George-Beatle songs than John did and George even played on John's solo record but said he would never play in a band with Paul again. Because there still seem to that he had another issue with Paul and there still seem to be tensions between them during the Anthology. Did Paul really deserved to be treated like that by both John and George. George went on a lot about his faith and spiritual seaching but not really lived up to it all the time. He played a lot about how unhappy he was in the Beatles and being famous buthe lived large with his cars and big house etc. I'm not defending Paul, well I do, but they both treated him so badly. Why, do you have any more ideas about that. Or what other artists, like ex Wings members etc who also complained about Paul's ways. I only ever see it as jealousy.

Legit had no idea how to answer this as George's dynamic with the rest of the band is opaque to me. I put the question to the McLennon server and they provided some very good answers, they have given me permission to copypaste it all here. I hope this helps Anon.

Note: I let the others talk and then I used Discord's "reply" function liberally to @ the different paragraphs. For tumblr I have rearranged the posts so that they read in order as full conversations instead of the weird mishmash that Discord produces. When you see weird timestamps, that is why.

***

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 11:00 AM received an interesting ask from an anon, its very long so i'm just copy pasting

ask

What do we think of this? my take is basically that George resented Paul because he replaced George with John and their relationship never recovered, which snowballed into these bigger issues about George's contributions to the Beatles and his growth as an artist.

I think it was amoralto who pointed out that Paul was safer for George to attack because Paul would forgive him whereas with John that wasn't the case. and yet George was able to cut John off later so what gives?

LocalGoblin — Yesterday at 1:43 PM I think there's a lot to this dynamic that we're not privvy too. What we do know, however, are things like how during the white album sessions, Paul was constantly undermining George's suggestions. I think it was George Martin who said that. We can even see it a bit in Get Back.

On top of that, even to this day, Paul calls George his little brother in interviews. He has always viewed George as the little kid of the group and that would feel incredibly patronising and demoralising. Paul is a lot more wired that John, and I think that personality trait is just something that George stuggles with. John is the 'cool/fun parent'.

I know John also viewed George as the little kid. And I think this hurt George less because 1. John WAS that older kid/parental figure for so long. 2. You can't take what John was as seriously because he changes his mind day-to-day. 3. I think George honestly (probably) secretly respected Paul's opinion more. So Paul's remarks hurt more.

John = The deadbeat Disney dad. Paul = The more serious and caring/overbearing parent You can see how he would grow to resent Paul more. And I think he also blamed Paul for the breakup too. Or at least, how messy all of that was and all the horrible legal issues that came with it

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:06 PM this one hurts. oof. when I read about the break up in excerpts I get the feeling that George thought Paul's problem was the money and the business decisions and he didn't consider (or didn't want to consider) what was driving it emotionally….after all he felt like Paul didn't consider his feelings 😬

LocalGoblin — Yesterday at 1:52 PM Anthology is interesting though. I really think George's attitude in that it partly because he needed to do it. He needed the money. I don't think he really wanted to do it. It was Paul's baby, and he also resented him for that. Hated Paul for being more comfortable financially too. Paul didn't need to do anthology. George did.

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 1:53 PM genius, you're absolutely right

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:08 PM this was also around the time that Paul's sweet new deal with Capitol became a thing, i think, because Capitol offered like a significant profit increase for Paul on Beatles royalties if he signed his next few solo albums with them. That caused a lot of upset with George and Ringo iirc, so damn :(

LocalGoblin — Yesterday at 1:55 PM (Also, Paul in a few interviews, has said that he was on good terms with John when he died - UNLIKE George. Almost rubbing it in George's face. I know he doesn't mean it. But I would be incredibly upset by that in George's position. To be constantly reminded of that.)

I think its funny that Paul is viewed as the PR savvy Beatles cause he puts his foot in his mouth all the time haha That actually might be why he's more reserved in interviews now. Sticking to a script… Who knows!

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:19 PM Ha, god, probably. Paul has his moments, there's a good 80s interview where he bemoaned Frank Sinatra attributing a George song to maccalennon, but he doesn't seem to have been humbled until the Heather Mills circus.

vanessaaa0388 — Yesterday at 1:57 PM In one of the AKOM podcasts they mentioned a George quote about how he was the closest beatle to John back when it was only them 2 taking LSD… it's my personal theory than in those months he almost felt like he was finally taking over Paul's spot in John's life…I dunno, I get very competitive vibes from George. In his mind he was competing for John with Paul. At least in certain points. And I think John took advantage of that.

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:20 PM Absolutely. Reminds me of, ha, Paul when he said that John was their personal Elvis. They all wanted his attention and approval. I also wonder if George was seeking a mentor somewhere and if he thought John was it since they dropped together.

vanessaaa0388 — Yesterday at 2:01 PM It's very complex, the Paul-George dynamic

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:02 PM Paul is the one who's always looking for a "project" and can't turn off, being with him must have been exhausting and then you add being talked down to all the time. whereas John can be fun and turn himself off and then maybe the sting of being talked down to isn't so bad. And like we saw in Get Back when John said "we need George Harrison" because he realized George was looking for reassurance, so he could also build George up when he felt like he should.

I guess with John its more like "lots of fun with a few pointed barbs thrown in" whereas with Paul he's steamrollering you constantly and will only occasionally throw in a compliment.

maybe since Paul is more consistent, it meant more to earn his respect? or something like that, like Vanessa pointed out George was competitive for John's approval and attention.

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:12 PM there's this consistent theme with George and Paul where Paul's closeness with John seems to really hurt and damage George. And its not like he could let it go easily either because Paul was also his teammate, not just John's. It was a quad act, not a double.

I think George said that being outside Lennon/Mccartney meant observing Beatlemania as a fan instead of as a bandmate. So he's getting all the trouble but very few of the benefits. And then there's the royalty issues on top of that.

Like, Paul was George's friend first, but then Paul pulped that friendship pretty much immediately when he saw John and never felt like he should do anything to fix it. And then George gets pulled into Beatlemania and then there's money problems and then Brian died.

Brian was George's big advocate I noticed, setting up a newspaper column in George's name (ghostwritten by someone else) because he wanted George to be his own brand outside the Beatles and maccalennon, so when he died a lot of that probably went down the drain too.

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:23 PM George seems to have been very lonely in the Beatles but due to all this:

I know John also viewed George as the little kid. And I think this hurt George less because 1. John WAS that older kid/parental figure for so long. 2. You can't take what John was as seriously because he changes his mind day-to-day. 3. I think George honestly (probably) secretly respected Paul's opinion more. So Paul's remarks hurt more.

I guess it was easier to shift some blame onto Paul. A lot of George's spiritual journey appears to be about wanting to escape like when he sings about wanting to see God but being frustrated at how long it will take him. Its real but it also seems like he was pretty weary of life by his mid20s.

LocalGoblin — Yesterday at 2:40 PM Yeah, you're so right. John was also the other Beatle who was more spiritually inclined. He was the only one besides George who was fully committed to the India trip. (At least for a time.) This was probably something they bonded over too.

There's also that quote… I can't remember what interview it's from. But George was asked what it was like being a Beatle and he says he doesn't really know. He always felt like he was on the outside looking in on Lennon/McCartney. It must've felt like a very lonely place.

vanessaaa0388 — Yesterday at 2:40 PM I'm fascinated by J&P but I give George a lot of credit for putting up with them both for so long. I would've cut them out of my life so fast 😂

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 4:05 PM honestly they ruined George's life in some ways!

[joannerowling]

i'm just disappointed that the fandom latched onto the marauders and teens and do the most boring gay male ships imaginable out of them while basically no one but me thinks that the dynamic between lily and petunia is interesting to explore. disappointed but not surprised, because i know the fandom thinks writing (bad, homophobic) out of character yaoi is more fun than exploring literally any female characters (especially if they can't write sex into it). disappointed nonetheless.

You and me both. I'm doubly interested in Lily and Petunia's relationship because i can't stop myself from comparing it to Jo and her sister Dianne's relationship. (Truly, in general, siblings relationships fly under the radar a lot in this fandom, it's all about shipping, but when you look at canon the deepest and messiest dynamics are all familial. And it makes sense for a child lit series, i think! Fairy tales follow that very pattern, romantic issues rarely feature in them, even when the pursuit of a love interest is central to the plot; whereas parents and siblings are more complex, they can be the hero's strongest ally or enemy.)

Anyways, i'm endlessly fascinated by the fact that Jo mimicked her own familial structure with the Evans specifically, and the character she put in her own position - the older sister - is Petunia, who is jealous of her younger, prettier and kinder sister and of her literal magical powers.

I mean, it could have been the opposite, right? The older sister could have been Harry's talented and beloved deceased mother, but that's not the choice Jo made. We'll never know if she did it consciously or not but imo it kinda gives out a self-deprecating nature. I'm only speculating but it's possible she at some point shared some of the feelings of resentment Petunia has for Lily. We know from interviews that the Rowlings had a bizarre way of referring to their daughters as "the Smart One" (Jo) and "the Pretty One" (Dianne) which without overblowing it doesn't feel like something that would have been good for either of their self-esteem.

However, unlike Lily and Petunia, JKR and her sister are very close, in fact Dianne Rowling was the one who helped her after her first marriage ended and she came back to the UK. She dedicated Philosopher's Stone to her (alongside her mother and daughter). So perhaps she built Petunia as a version of herself that could have existed had she been unable to move on from old hurt or rivalry (again, all of that is speculative and my own musings).

Regardless of biographical connections, i find Petunia a very compelling character. Vernon Dursley is a great caricature (whose echoes continue to entertain in Jo's later adult books), but Petunia feels real past the satire. The way i see her, she's a deeply self-hating person who clings to "normalcy" because she feels abnormal inside. People don't naturally like her, she doesn't have Lily's charisma and easy personality, she's difficult. When she calls Lily a "freak", it's obviously a projection, she uses the insult she secretly would apply to herself. It doesn't make her too dissimilar from the likes of Hermione (especially since Hermione was supposed to have a little sister too!), and so i can't help but find her a bit sympathetic, despite her terrible life choices, cowardice and refusal to self-reflect. Much like Snape, she was terrible to Harry but she also saved his life.

[afurtivecake]

with the sunshine court i liked the insight into the ravens and them individually + as a very fucked up whole

any opinions/comments about the ravens, nest, and tetsuji and all of that?

ooh yes i very much enjoyed the bits about the ravens in tsc as well.

and god yes. the thoughts i have on the ravens are...many.

my main comment is that we can't underestimate how much the whole collective punishment thing fucks people up and how much resentment it breeds. being made responsible for the actions and behaviours of someone else, for example, child being made responsible for their siblings, is something we know can mess people up. and the ravens basically take that concept and built it into their institution. the ravens are set up in a way that mimics a familial power structure. you have the coaches at the top as the 'parents', the ravens as the children. also keep in mind that raven pairs consist of an older raven and a younger one, which mimics a older sibling/younger sibling dynamic. (it reminds me of how yakuza hierarchies are built around familial structures using terms like parent/child to describe boss/subordinate relationships and brothers/sisters to describe a relationship that's on an equal footing. but that's perhaps a different discussion for another time)

so what you have is an older raven being made responsible for the actions and behaviours of a younger student and a younger raven who is reliant on the older student to teach them how the nest works and how to survive being a raven.

this would mean that the older raven would be suffering punishments they know they don't deserve because their younger partner is just not going to be as good yet. it would be on their shoulders to correct their partner so that when they get in front of the coaches, they're not going to be a shit-show. can you imagine the resentment that creates?

i can easily picture a situation where they both get a scolding for something the younger raven messed up on and then once they're alone, the older raven berates their younger partner again for getting them into that mess. like, don't they want a place on the lineup? don't they want to succeed? then stop being lazy and start get their fucking shit together because they both know which of them really deserved to be called 'worthless' by the coach back there. and the younger raven can't do anything about it because they know they're not as good. they know they have to do better so that this one person who's been helping them through every confusing aspect of raven doesn't get punished for things they don't deserve. but neither of them will blame the coaches even if they know in the back of their minds that it's really the coaches' fault.

by the time the older raven graduates, the younger raven would be in a position to receive a newbie as a partner and guess what? the tough love that trained them up to that point worked for them so that's how they would treat their new partner.

of course, this is just one possible form a raven dynamic can take, but like, isn't that so incredibly fucked up?

of course, it's not all bad. raven partners clearly do look out for each other and probably comfort each other when they can. but just because they care for each other, doesn't mean they're any less violently angry with each other for the roles they've been forced into. there's so many more nuances to this than i can talk about all in one go.

and the thing is, they don't even need to be violent towards each other for this sort of thing to take a psychological toll. and like, having grown up being made responsible for a younger siblings' behaviour, i know it's all about the feeling that no matter what you do, you're not going to be good enough. it's like, if you're not better than your sibling (raven partner), you're a failure and will be treated like you're lower on the hierarchy. but if you are better, then you're still a failure because that would mean you let your sibling (raven partner) be worse. like i spent a lot of time resenting my siblings for being the reason i got shouted at and also for not coming to my aid when i needed help or comfort, even though i know they couldn't have done anything and it wasn't their role to have done anything anyways. i even spent a long time feeling bad for how hard i was on my siblings and feeling guilty that i wasn't as kind as i ought to have been. that i should have comforted them more. and the real kick in the teeth was them telling me that they were grateful for what i had done for them. that my hard attitude had gotten them through a lot and helped them get their shit together. and fuck, that made feel even more guilty. i wanted to shake them and be like, 'no! don't you get it? i should have been kinder! you should have felt supported no matter what you did!"

and i think about this a lot in relation to riko and kevin. i think about how being made responsible for each's success and failure might have tainted their relationship as brothers, how it might have introduced an element of anger and resentment to what could have been a supportive, caring relationship.

(as for tetsuji, well. i just picture him as the amalgamation of every hardass asian father i've ever known, turned up to 100. and uh... ha.ha. it's unpleasant, is all i'm going to say to that. )

--------------

the whole point of this, "ask me for an opinion and i'll tell you why i have it," exercise is to examine how my personal biases and background impact how i view this work. which parts of the work do i pick up on and relate to due to my own experiences? and i think this question about how i see the ravens exemplifies what i've been trying to do here. i'm not saying that my interpretation is any more correct that anyone else's. i'm saying that we all read things a certain way for personal reasons and that it doesn't matter what our opinion is, it's all part of interacting with and enjoying a piece of media!

so if anyone has opinions they want to hear from me, please ask! or go forth and share your own opinions!

[goatpaste]

id like to hear more of your thoughts on hato! shes my fav jojolion character and no one else talks ab her i love her sm

wAHH i love Hato I really really do love herrrrr

she's defiantly probably my fav character in that part which i know is a bit silly because she really didn't get as much screentime as a lot of others but i really just like what we did get of her. she's just delightful. i really wish we got more of her, in general but also in replace of Joshu. I would have love Hato and Yasuho friendship

then theres the part of me that reads too much into her!!! i know iv overanalyzed her but i did and it sits in me!

Hato rambling under the cut lol

This idea of her oldest daughter, but second oldest child. Her parents love her and her siblings but dad works on their family business and as much as mom never lets you forget she loves you, she clearly has subconsciously picked a favorite in your older brother. Theres something between them you could never have with your mother or brother. This special clique just between them. Then your mother is taken from the picture, your brother is older than you and even if she isnt there his best friend is mom, and its not long now that he's working with dad. You have a younger sister but the age difference is there and she's become quite the daddys girl as dad's stepped in to be both parents. So your left with the sibling closest to you in age, Jobin. He isnt great but you get to have your moments, but even then he's busy being self entitled and chasing some girl who doesnt want him around and constantly doing his own thing.

Despite all this your the odd man out in a house where everyone is the odd man out of each others relationships.

Some time goes by and you find out about your absent mom, and with that disconnection from everyone else, you don't say anything. You dont want to upset them, you simply have to digest the truth of the matter, the bond of your mother and brother. Your the oldest daughter, your not going to stir shit up. But you can't help but feel a bit of resentment toward the whole thing... maybe jealousy that it wasnt you? Its stupid to feel that way on the topic of the death of a child, but she missed out on having that connection with either of them.

Your considered silly and air headed, and you are you guess, you like to have fun and things escape you sometime. But your finding a nice well off boyfriend, the perfect first boyfriend to bring home to your family. Someone thats yours. Plus, shows everyone your a responsible adult who can have an adult relationship. You can step up you can be someone people rely on and trust, your going to be a good person who brings no trouble to your family. Your not your mother, your not your brother and your not going to let personal feelings lay harm.

Then despite all that, all that you've tried to do right backfires and you've put everyone in danger. Your misjudged and it caused everyone to get hurt. Maybe you are air headed..

All this business with these people trying to hurt her family, her mom back in the picture, jobin acting more distant from the family than ever before, falling back into this way with their mother, secrets just for them while you just have to sit and watch and stew in your own feelings.

... then their gone. It's all over and their gone, and your left with having resented your mother for the last years. But you dont hate her, well.. maybe you do. you just hated that she wasnt as attentive to you as you wanted. You hate that you couldn't have had a proper relationship with her or your brother and now it's too late.

But its not too late for family.

I love to picture after the events of Jojolion, Hato going on to pick up Jobins work. She steps up as the eldest child of the family and starts working closer with her dad, helping with the family business, as well as her and everyone else stepping up to help Mitsuba with Tsurugi and the new baby.

Hato finding some peace in the new flow of the family, through strengthening her bond to family finally, finding some sense of connection to the ones they lost through them.

miss growing pains!!

also this comic i love it soo much on twitter i think about it a lot with miss hato

[zooweemama143]

misc greaser backstory headcanons because i'm bored and it's time for this fandom to hear my lukewarm hot takes <ब₍₍( ˃̗εू˂ )₎₎<ब

johnny and lola's fatal relationship flaws are learned from their respective sets of parents.

johnny grew up witnessing his parents' tumultuous marriage and often felt like he was walking on eggshells due to his father's possessiveness and short fuse. mrs. vincent stayed, no matter how much her husband's fits of rage scared her because she felt she had a duty to her family. her one silver lining was that at least he never laid a hand on her (no, he'd only punch the walls near her or throw dinnerware– that's not abuse, is it? was just one of the numerous feeble defenses johnny would hear from his mom.) (the one time she DID defend herself, the situation escalated and eventually landed both of johnny's parents in prison. because he was already 18 when this happened, social services did not get involved.)

lola's father cheated on her mom and as a result, she's never had any stable relationships beyond short-lived flings. ms. lombardi consequently passed her bitterness about the affair and the divorce onto her daughter; it didn't help that lola's father stopped giving a shit about her after he married his affair partner and started a family with her. witnessing her family breaking apart, her mother wrecking her life with numerous toxic flings, and the father she used to love so dearly doting on his son with his new wife had not only resulted in non-committal tendencies, but also a dislike of men that borders on misandry.

(on that, i feel like a case can be made that lola's a closeted lesbian with MAD comphet, but that's a story for another time.)

peanut's home life is nearly similar to johnny's, but what sets them apart is the fact that peanut's father– alongside his verbal abuse– outright beats him; that's where his intense napoleon complex stems from. initially, his mother was the victim of his father's rage, but the older peanut grew, the more he fought back for her. consequently, at some point, he essentially became his father's outlet for his rage. he hates losing fights, being made to feel small and weak, because, well– if he can't fight back, who'll be there to protect his mom?

norton's family is relatively more normal and maybe even more stable than the rest of his clique's, but they're– unsurprisingly– not without their own issues. i feel like most of the conflict within the williams' family stems from the clashing ideals between norton and his dad; norton's a guy who was radicalized at a young age (since he's quite well-read), and his father– a police officer– represents the authority and the system he hates so much. becoming a greaser was not only teenage rebellion, but also a way to show that he outright rejects what his father believes in; he resents him for being a sellout. officer williams is aware of this.

vance is the only son among a brood of daughters. the second eldest child, he shares a close bond with his younger sisters, but a hesitant, nearly strained relationship with his older sister. their father is absent, and their mother overworked, so both of them are parentified– even if ms. medici didn't intend for that to happen. vance's never been shy about his bisexuality, and the unorthodox way he expresses his masculinity is a source of contention for his sister. she resents how carefree he is, how arbitrary his priorities are (like his obsession with his appearance, his social standing amongst the greasers, and his various romances in bullworth). their father couldn't be the man of the house, and now vance can't even fill in that role if he tried.

as implied by some of his voicelines, hal's fatness is (not so) secretly a major source of insecurities for him. his mother truly tries to be as supportive as she can be, but his father– perhaps another alumni of bullworth, maybe even a former jock?– is especially harsh on him, his "tough love" bordering on outright verbal abuse. hal was initially sent to bullworth in order to "whip him into shape" (both figuratively and literally), and his dad hit the roof when he found out that hal decided to join the greasers instead of getting into something "worthwhile". he tries to be as confident as he's making himself seem, though his dad's comments about his body and his hobbies and his friends cut deep.

ricky was essentially raised by his older brother (a former greaser himself). their parents have never been in the picture, and they were initially raised by their hyperreligious, paranoid grandmother before ricky's brother had enough– he moved out at 18 and took ricky with him. he had to take numerous odd jobs just to support them, ultimately dropping out of his last year in bullworth and forgoing college in favor of working. despite their similar personalities and interests, this is why they often clash– ricky's brother had to sacrifice his schooling for him, and he wants nothing more than for ricky to be responsible and successful. to be the opposite of who he was.

on the other hand, lucky essentially raised his younger siblings (a sister and a brother). his mom walked out on his family when he was still a kid; consequently, his dad fell into a deep depression, was laid off from his job, and turned to alcohol and gambling. lucky had to step up to the plate and be the man of the house in his stead. he's not quite sure who he resents more: his mom, for walking out; his dad, for taking away his remaining childhood; or the system, for fucking them all up in the first place.

lefty is a latch-key kid. both of his parents may be present in his life, but it's as if they're not all that interested in their son– he doesn't quite know why, but there's the implication that he's an accident; one that forced them to have a shotgun marriage despite not being in love anymore. they provide the bare minimum for him, but not much beyond that; whether its gifts or affection. he'll claim he's given up on trying to win their love a long time ago, but he can't deny that with every new scar he earns, he wishes they'd notice. at least once. (with concern or anger, it doesn't matter anymore.)

[persephoneandherhades]

My sister loves me.

I know that the love of family members is sometimes an abstract thing that you know is there but don't really think about but I have physical proof of it.

I half raised my two younger sisters from the time I was 12 and they were 8 and 9. My parents provided for us physically but I was the one cooking dinners and helping with homework. I was there for the break ups and bullying and the good days. I was far from perfect at this maternal role but I never asked for it but was thrust into it anyway. I still did my best to give them the things I wish I had. A shoulder to cry on. A hug when they're sad. An encouraging word. A shield between them and the constant fighting between my older brother and parents. I love them not just as my sisters but also sort of my kids.

I was not perfect. My sisters and I are neurodivergent in very different ways. Only some of this was diagnosed when we were kids. I did not have the tools or know how to help with everything. This is part of the reason my middle sister and I barely talk. She resents that I took on that maternal role and wasn't able to help her. I accept that I wasn't able to help her with many things and she has a right to be angry at me and my parents. But my baby sister loves me.

We always had an easier time getting along because we are neurodivergent in similar ways. We are very close to this day and share an apartment together.

I am in the process of healing from an emotionally abusive relationship and reconnecting with most of my family. I have lived on the other side of the country for the last 6 years and just got back. While unpacking our things into our new apartment my sister is showing me things and we are laughing at old memories. Then she starts pulling out things that I had almost forgotten about. She pulls out a scarf I knit her back in highschool. It was my first attempt at knitting and wasn't anything special but I gave it to her and she kept it. She pulls out a small pearl colored Buddha statue I got her from a natural history museum as a part of an inside joke back when I was 14. She pulls out my first attempt at quilting with all the uneven seams that I gave her once I finished it. She pulls out all these small insignificant things I've given her over the years. She kept all of them. I was crying. My autistic sister that struggles with words who I love like my own daughter showed me in 5 minutes more love than I ever got from anyone in my life. More love than my ex wife ever gave me or my emotionally unavailable parents ever showed. I was so blown away. She loves me and even thinking about it now has me crying. I can't describe how much it means to me that she kept all those things l. It's like proof that I did my best and one of my sisters loves me back the way I love her and that maybe I did a decent job making up for our mom. To her it is obvious that of course she kept those things but to me it's proof that my efforts were appreciated and noticed.

I have so many feelings going through me right now but ultimately it boils down to my sister loves me.

[traffic-light-eyes]

Supernatural au ninja! A quick sketch of heights and all that!

Au tidbits and character reasoning under the cut

Lloyd is self-explanatory. His heritage is already Oni, so I just made him more oni-presenting. I imagine that his dad, Garmadon, is completely oni presenting - like the series. This would mean the whole four armed shebang and all that. I want to play into the whole shape-shifting part of being an oni as well. Perhaps he often hides his oni parts because he is reminded of his father, whom I believe left him alone with Misako, alone (who is human, who doesnt know how to raise an oni, who cant protect him, cant teach him, cantcantcant). After a long while living with Misako, who had grown bitter raising such an "evil" child, he ran away. Maybe at around the same age as he was in s1. The ninja found him and raised him - not as a human but as a supernatural, an oni. I think in this au, the ninjas are hiding out someplace. Because of Lloyd's shape-shifting ability, he would often be the one to go on supply runs for food, clothing, etc. The others are terrified of letting their little brother out into the wild by himself, but they don't really have a choice. He often takes form as a pre-teen/teen so people dome question him when he goes into stores by himself. Perhaps he started feeling like he was more useful older, so he stayed that form. The others resent that but can't convince him otherwise. (He doesn't want them to leave him. He's useful so useful he can help, please)

Nya is the second youngest and is, well, water. I think the s14 was a really good supernatural base for her. She's fluid water like the series, but she certainly has a better grasp on her body, seeing as she lived like that since birth. When she gets surprised or shocked, she might make a splash or melt her form unconsciously, though. She's very touch starved. I think her and Kai's parents were hunted or something of the likes, and she never saw them again. She lived her entire life with her brother, who is her complete elemental opposite. When she was younger and woke from nightmares terrified, she sought out her brother. She wanted so badly the comfort and warm embrace of her family, but she couldn't touch him without hurting him. The first time she accidently brushed against him was when her parents were still around- she reached out towards him as a baby and her body splashed happily towards him. She still remembers his scream and the days following it when he couldn't use his left hand. She works hard on her mechs and other devices so someday she'll find a way to protect him from water. Somehow, she'll find it. That day will be the happiest day of her life, when she can give her lovely older brother a nice, tearful hug.

Jay is a satyr. I don't know why. He gives the crafty, bubbly personality that I imagine a satyr would have. Unlike most of his friends, he had been raised by completely human parents. One day, Ed and Edna found a small boy bundled in worn cloth crying in the forest next to their scrap yard. They couldn't help but take him in and give him love, no matter how furry his legs. Of course, they didn't exactly know how to care for him, so they made due with reading all about goats and myths and horse-hoof care in their local library and then some. The librarian had learnt to set aside those types of books when someone donated some so she could give them to the nice elderly couple who so eagerly love mythology. Jay grew up and prospered around the many, many scraps so he can be his creative self. His scrapyard was his forest, the machines he made were his nymphs and furry friends. The Walkers let him use whatever he wanted for his endeavors, but they did get quite worried when they saw a bite mark in a piece of metal. When he met Cole, who adores music, he immediately made himself instruments and they both made a quaint little "band." They play a strange combination of folk, rock, and classical. They don't know how it works but it does. He gets emotional often and the ninja cheer him up by either letting him play music, rant about starfarer, or get him a "forbidden" snack. Do not let him near the wooden pencils oh my gosh he eats them so quickly no one knows how he does it but you look away for one second and he's halfway through the pencil and it's wood and- JAY DONT EAT THE TABLE WE EAT ON THAT

Kai, the fire boy, the perpetual older brother. He grew up too fast, taking care of Nya and working hard to put food on the table. He learned that the world is unkind far too quickly. He did small jobs for everyone to get money and tried to improve his smithing skills. When he realized their parents' emergency money stash started to deplete and his unsteady income wasn't funding much more than the occasional oatmeal, he started looking into underground or supernatural fighting. He, at the ripe age of 14, had become one of the most feared supernatural fighters in the ring. He came home battered and bruised to his little sister - stop worrying so much, lil' sis! I'm fine! You know how clumsy I am with the hammer haha - and cooked food and helped her study - yes it is very important to study! You don't want to end up like me, do you? You need a degree. When he got older and saw a little oni kid running away from some digustingrevoltinghowdareyouhurthimimgoingtokillyou people, his big brother instincts told him to help. So, he did. He brought him back home to his little sister and their little family got bigger. Next came Cole, then Jay and Zane. His family got bigger and bigger and the responsibilities heavier and heavier. He had to protect them, it was his job, he cannot let anything hurt them, it was his job, he does the dirty work for them, it was his job. When Cole found out about his tendencies to put everyone else above himself when they were running away from hunters and Kai tried to sacrifice himself, he was not happy. They had a nice, long chat that ended in Kai promising to delegate his responsibilities and relaxing a bit. He's reminded that he isn't the only older brother anymore. His family can take care of themselves, yes. He's still needed, loved, important, but they are responsible. They can protect themselves. He can finally, finally lower his hands and release his fighting stance. He can sink into the relaxing domestic lifestyle that they were able to live in.

Cole is a werewolf- big, beefy, and protective. He didn't have the big brother instincts like Kai, no, but he certainly had the burning need to take care of his family. If Zane was the mom friend, Cole was the dad. He thinks it has something to do with his horrible relationship with his dad, so he wants to be better. His dad abandoned him when Cole started presenting more were-like. Lou could excuse the strange sharper teeth, the large pointy ears, and the love of the moon. But when he came home one day to a half-teen boy, half-wolf with the snout to complete it, he exiled Cole. He knew his dear Lily wasn't human, he knew. Well, he knew in theory. She had told him, but she was aware of the stipulations around it. So, she made sure he was never home when the reality reared its ugly head. She died before she could show him the real her. Lou thought something was so horribly wrong with his son. He was a monster, a freak- Lily was never like this, never destructive, always so sweet, kind, perfect. This wasn't his son. So, he kicked Cole out with the clothes on his back. Of course, Cole couldn't take any of the belongings in his room- Lou would wait until the real Cole came home. This boy was an imposter. He couldn't be his son. Cole left and had to scrounge around for food, dumpster to dumpster, person to person, begging pleading for scraps. Kai was on a walk with Lloyd, taking him to go get the newest issue of Starfarer, hood over his blazing hair and amber eyes when he caught sight of a beast in an alley. He paused. He hid Lloyd behind him as he walked closer to the animal. Kai was surprised to find out that it wasn't an animal, but a malnourished, frightened werewolf clinging tightly to a half-empty days old McDonald's bag are those bugs crawling over that burger or is he crazy. Cole was brought back to the little family and he became more of himself. Stronger, faster, filled with unbridled rage and unwilting kindness. Where Kai might directly bring his family somewhere they enjoyed or bought them their favorite treat, or where Zane might keep their teacup full or bake them a cake for a small accomplishment, Cole would be a steady rock of support for his family. If anyone needed a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, or an ear to listen, he was always the one they would go to. He could be drawing or reading and his ear might twitch and seconds later he would walk and find the sad soul that he could just feel needed him. They don't know if that's a werewolf thing or a Cole thing.

Zane is still a robot, just less human looking. His face is full of pixels and moves just like those cool mask thingies. His creator, his father, had sort of a Frankestein "I can do it so I'll do it moment," even if it wasn't exactly right. He stole parts and scraps around the world and had thought that he had created a working artificial human, but Zane didn't start up. He found that he could not start without a proper heart - a human heart. So - in the name of science - he dug his first grave. It was of a young teen named Zane, who died just a few weeks prior. He stole the heart and placed it into his machine, hoping for his new creation to work perfectly as his assistant. Zane worked. He woke up, confused, scared, whereamiwhoamiwhatamipleasehelpwhatsgoingonmomdadwhereareyou and was promptly shut down again due to his emotional tendencies. To stop this malfunction, Dr. Julien wired Zane's heart to power his body, not his mind. Which... worked? He was a living doll- he listened obediently to his maker. Dr. Julien's fatal mistake was trying to make another. He was caught trying to dig into another grave and taken away by authorities. Without Dr. Julien, Zane was stuck in the lab by himself for years before someone found him. This someone was a curious and lost Jay. He had left Ed and Edna because hunters came knocking on their door. He was told to run. He did. He found this cute little house in the middle of the woods and knocked on it. When no one answered, he tried the door and it opened. He looked around and found a hidden basement, of which the young satyr curiously explored. He found a basically falling apart Zane sitting in the corner, unresponsive. He noticed how much pain he was in and decided to do something about it. He fixed the wiring to Zane's heart and they had a nice conversation, mostly comforting Zane and informing him of his humanity and how yes be deserves to live no he is not an abomination stop Zane please stop messing with your heart latch don't do that pleasepleaseplease. A while later, they decided to leave the house together. They wanted to find others like them and they were able to do that when they saw a watery girl inside the ocean throwing a frisbee, a young horned boy making a sand castle, a man made of fire fanning himself, and a hairy man runningrunningrunning for the frisbee very happily. The fire one spotted them and noticed their unnaturalness and called them over, not before alerting his family to stay back and looking over to Cole to take Lloyd someplace farther back. Jay and Zane explained their situation and Kai happily let them stay with them, though he did watch Jay when he made those googly eyes -they're not googly eyes! Yes, I believe they are, Jay. My database says that when-- SHUDDUP!!!- at his sister.

And so, the family became, well, a family. All six of the unlikely nonhumans friends, together. Fighting, protecting and loving through the harsh (untrue) words and comfortable moments that any family goes through.

Thank you for reading this <3 I have a bit of ninja brainrot right now and I finished making this post/art in like 2 hours

[cienie-isengardu]

The only way I can see Bi-Han being mean or cruel to Kuai is when he's younger its more out of jealousy. Have you seen how little kids sometimes get upset when their parents brings a new baby? It's basically 'How dare you replace me!?' sort of thing and then tantrum ensues.

Obviously they usually get over it but I could imagine for the first years of Kuai's life Bi-Han was definitely a jealous little kid before he got over himself.

I know it sometimes happens, however in my experiences, how a child reacts to a new baby is often connected to how parents raised and prepared said child for the possibility. All kids will deal with the arrival of younger siblings in their own way, but parents contributed a lot to the situation. If someone spoil a kid to the point the kid is proverbial center of the universe and all family attention is only focused on them but then suddenly don’t have anymore a time for said kid because everything now resolved about the new baby, then it is hard to blame the older sibling for feeling resentful against the new member of the family that “stole” all the love. And as much as I can see your point, I feel like acting out of jealousy wouldn’t be true to Bi-Han, at least not in the original timeline. Like, the resentment could be there, sure, but considering how

the boy was chosen to be a Lin Kuei at birth and

his father, then-current Sub-Zero, came from a family already serving Lin Kuei for a few generations, 

I suspect Bi-Han’s training was already part of his upbringing since he was born. Maybe not fully the physical aspect, but the iron discipline and obedience (the last one may not always work though). Thus I think that even when baby Kuai Liang came into picture, and later their youngest sister, the father’s attention was aimed mainly at the first-born and preparing him for Lin Kuei life, so he could bring honor to their family and serve the clan well. Bi-Han could be jealous of baby Kuai Liang, could be sad for being forced to share mother’s love with someone else - and that one depends a lot what kind of mother she was on daily basis, so for all we know, Bi-Han actually could enjoy being the big, helpful brother and making her proud in the process - but I don’t think he had a reason to feel threatened by new kid’s presence if the father paid him special attention and spent time to train him for future life. And well, I don’t think kid Bi-Han was allowed to have tantrum attacks over “trivial” matters if he was meant to continue the true family tradition soon. Like, I can't imagine Bi-Han being raised as a spoiled child when father - and maybe mother, depending if she was a Lin Kuei herself or not - already knew his son was meant to start a proper training for assassin life.

[mcalhenwrites]

...Though I do lack a lot of "parent does a bad job with their first child(ren), but they have more and do better for the younger ones, which breeds a lot of resentment between the older versus the younger kids" in my stories. (And this effort being due to regret on previous parenting errors, not because of favoritism.) I'm too addicted to that UNITED SIBLING energy! I'm so helpless when the siblings care about one another, even if they don't always show it. This goes beyond my own stories, but yeah, I have Opal and Hazel, all the Seasons kids, Roscoe and Errol, Kurt helping care for Noah and Roxie, the Glasser children (ignoring that they all tried to murder each other as kids lmao), Roland and Stanley, etc. I also have this super soft spot for it in fandom, if my love for Driselle and Cline or Strelitzia and Lauriam say anything? :') (Though those two are terrible examples, given what happens to one of the siblings in each of those sibling groups...) SORRY I JUST FEEL LIKE RAMBLING... I can't sleep very well, I only got like 4 hours and then couldn't fall back asleep. I'm very talkative atm and it makes me happy ;A;

[thaisibir]

The Niijima sisters and envy

I want to talk about the Niijima sisters AKA best girls and how their relationship stands out to me in this epic 100+ hour game. (P5R spoilers below the cut)

There's no denying that Sae is hella stunning, smart, talented, and successful.  Yet it's interesting that Makoto never shows obvious or outward signs of jealousy or resentment whenever these aspects of Sae are brought up in the games. I'm sure there was pressure or inadequacy felt on Makoto's part when the principal mentions Sae's success as a prosecutor to get Makoto to follow in her footsteps. (Dick move on the principal's part) But we never get moments like Makoto expressing wishes to be more beautiful or smart like her sister. Instead there's just that fierce, earnest sisterly love she has for Sae, a love so strong that it's the reason she joined the Phantom Thieves, and why she's willing to "fight in her corner" and say to Sae "I'm on your side." Even in times when Sae didn't really deserve it, like when she lashed out at Makoto over dinner, or as she teeters on the brink of corruption by the time of the casino palace arc. Whenever Makoto does talk about Sae, I perceive respect and admiration from her more than anything else. In the dancing game, Makoto talks about how both are trained in aikido but Sae kicks her ass every time. I never got a sense of Makoto disliking Sae for this. It's more like "my big sister is so good and I want to keep trying and work harder to be her equal one day." That's part of why I like Makoto so much. Drive, ambition, and strong work ethic are core parts of her character, but she doesn't let envy or resentment get the better of her. That's what differentiates the sisters, why one of them becomes a heroic Phantom Thief and the other is almost consumed in shadow.

Meanwhile it's Sae who's experiencing the envy. This may have come as a surprise to some people. Like I mentioned before, she's practically perfect. What does she have to be jealous of? But I've been in her shoes before. I'm an older sister who works in a high paying male-dominated field (surgery and anesthesia). My younger sister got to pursue the major and career our parents wouldn't let me do (art). With a retired mom, deceased dad, and sister + brother in-law scraping by on minimum wage, I occasionally work overtime or pick up incentive shifts to rake in extra money to support my family on top of supporting myself. The position Sae is in, the career struggles she faces as a woman in a gentleman's club, it's so, so relatable and scarily realistic. The envy an older sibling feels for the younger sibling with more freedom is something I've experienced, and I'm sure I'm not alone in this. The way Sae loses her temper at Makoto and calls her useless is definitely unfair and unwarranted, but we can at least understand where she's coming from. Maybe Sae used to have Makoto's optimism when she was younger. But now she is an overworked and stressed adult, the sole breadwinner for the family, worn and beaten down to a cynical and bitter shadow of herself due to the trappings and pressures of society. The very unhealthy way she is dealing with the death of her father, and thinking of him, is certainly not helping things. (Having lost my dad unexpectedly a few years ago myself, I can't help really pitying Sae for the way she's trying to fight through life without apparently any kind of support network or healthy outlet for her emotions.) The manifestation of Shadow Sae is what happens when Makoto's pure drive and ambition become twisted and corrupted. Meanwhile Makoto is a high school student brimming with potential, free to take matters into her own hands so she can enter another dimension with her thief buddies to drive a nuclear motorcycle and punch the hell out of monsters and save and free Sae from herself. The inevitable clash of sisters is a valuable lesson, a cautionary tale, to remind us that we shouldn't lose sight of the values we hold dear, to not let the world twist us into shadows of ourselves.

All of this more or less articulates why I was so drawn to the Niijima sisters, their characters, arcs, and development as I played P5R. It's a refreshing and (in my opinion, at least) a well written portrayal of sister dynamics. I do wish there was more Sae could do and say to try making up for the harsh treatment toward Makoto after the casino palace. But hey, that's what fanfic is for.

[fatfables]

Alonzo: A Fat Fable

This is the preamble to the first gainer story that I wrote back in 2021.

It's about sibling rivalry. A German boy whose gluttony causes problems moves in with his boyfriend but can't let go of his hatred for his sisters who always taunted him about his weight.

Alonzo was 24 years old when it happened. His family, neighbours, old school friends and teachers all reacted in shock when they heard about it. When they saw it. When they saw HIM on the evening news. How could this have happened? Ok, Alonzo had never been the nicest boy in the world. Yes, he was a little selfish, even greedy and lazy. But to think that he was capable of this? This was hard to accept. Unbelievable even. How had they not seen it coming? Had they all hidden the obvious truth from themselves? Turned away from the uncomfortable scenes that were always playing out in plain sight. Had their silence been accomplice to his heinous crimes? Would they always have to feel guilty because of their own in-action in the face of such wanton depravity? What had happened that summer was shocking. No one could quite comprehend how it had been allowed to happen. How it had ever come to this.

Alonzo was born in the late 90's, a time of economic prosperity and few worries. The cold war was over. Reunification had been a success (well as much of one as it was possible to be) and the horrors and wars in the aftermath of 9/11 were still a few years away. The global economic collapse was still a decade into the future, and Corona was just a Mexican beer that people drank on holiday. As such Alonzo’s parents were comfortable with their life in Mannheim, in a medium sized house, in a medium sized town in South West Germany. Everything in their life was just fine, and medium sized.

Their middle child, and only son, Alonzo was preceded and followed by his older and younger sisters, Lotte and Inge. The first born being three years older than him, and the third child one year younger. Now in most families it is often the youngest child who is spoiled by doting parents or grandparents. But in Alonzo’s family this was most definitely not the case.

To be fair to Alonzo’s parents they hadn’t set out to spoil him. It’s just that he was so demanding as a youngster that they couldn’t help but give into his temper tantrums and fits of rage. Letting him have exactly what he wanted was the only way to calm him as a baby and a toddler.

 “It’s just a phase” his mother used to say to her husband. “It’s only puppy fat. He’ll grow out of it.”  

Well Alonzo grew but he never grew out of ‘it’. By the time his parents had realised their mistake in giving into his every whim it was already too late. His personality was set. He was selfish, demanding, spoiled, and most of all overfed.

 It is often said that you don’t miss what you’ve never had. Well, Alonzo was always given everything he ever wanted and from a very young age. So he missed nothing. As he grew he kept expecting to get everything he wanted. Why wouldn’t he? It was just the natural course of things.

If he was denied even the smallest item, such as a second helping of chips with his school dinner, or a medium coke instead of a large one at McDonalds, he would fly into such a violent rage that no one could control him. He wouldn’t calm down until he felt that he had been given everything that he deserved. And he felt like he deserved everything.

 This caused his ever suffering parents great anguish as they would inevitably end up buying him an extra-large coke on top of the medium coke he had already had! This also bred resentment amongst his sisters, who as youngsters took great umbrage against the unfairness of it all. They never got two cokes! 

“Well, you never asked for two cokes” the Dad would say to try and appease them. “That’s not the point!” the elder girl Lotte would shout.

 And as she became older her anger would not just be based on the perceived (and very real) inequality of the situation. But also the outright disgust that she came to feel towards her corpulent, spoilt, “little” brother.

 “What the fuck!, why does that fat little shithead get more than me!? Just fucking say no for once!” 

The younger girl, Inge, would invariably side with the older one. So it was always the two sisters against the one brother, and due to this Alonzo grew in time to hate his cunting sisters, even more than they disliked him.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

tw- family problems, parental issues,fighting, relationship problems (i think)

seeking- advice, vent

(sorry for any typos) also, can this be tagged as flower anon tyy:)

my whole life my dad has treated my mom terribly i didn’t realize it wasnt normal when i was little, as i’ve gotten older i’ve been realizing how terrible he treats everyone around him especially my mom. my eyes have recently been opening to his true character and i wont go into detail but i feel so guilty that im resenting him cause he can be so nice sometimes but even that is following by something negative. but i dont wanna make this about that cause its about how he treats my mom.

when i was younger they would fight all the time and even still hes always the one to start it. all he does is complain about everything yet does nothing about whatever it is he’s complaining about. he has my mom do his laundry, make his dinner, fold his clothes, make his bed, all of it. by the way my mom has her own job which shes in a lot of pain at the end of the day cause of it and she has to come home to his bs. if she doesnt have his dinner done he freaks out and guilt trips by saying how hes gonna go to bed without eating, when they eat out almost every night so he can easily order food himself or go pick it up. even if he wants her to make home-cooked food for dinner if shes at work, literally doing her job he’ll complain about it and make her feel bad.

he makes her pay rent even tho her hours have got cut so she doesnt make as much any more and he can absolutely afford the whole rent himself. he has literally gone to her job and yelled at her before and now she doesnt want to get another job cause she knows hes gonna go to the boss there and tell him what time she can and cant work.

he polices everything she does if she gets a package he pesters her about whats in it, she leaves the house he pesters her about that. just today she was literally at his parents house (something he never does) and got mad at her for being gone??? its unbelievable. this is all only the icing on the cake. i remember one time me and my mom were going to get something to eat and he yelled at her before we left and when we were in the car she said to me “when you marry, marry someone who will let you be yourself” and it just broke my heart:( she deserves so much better and i just dont know how to help. i want to get a job to help her with money but i have severe social anxiety and also no school or work credits to do so but hopefully once i get my GED ill be able to do something with that. but im no sure what to do. i want to help her so bad but i have no idea how. theres so much more to all of this but im not sure how to tw it 100% correctly so i dont want to say too much, but if there’s any advice you have for this situation it would be really appreciated 🥲 thank you so much for your time!

Hi anon,

It's understandable why you feel guilty for resenting your dad even though sometimes he can be sweet or well-mannered. But it's important to honor why you feel resentment and not necessarily let your dad's good behavior make you feel like you can't be upset about how he has behaved in the past. Sometimes people intentionally behave well to minimize the impact of their bad behavior and make others feel like they have no right to complain. But it's also possible that good behavior is a sign of learning from past mistakes, but even still, it's natural and okay to feel complex emotions about that shift.

It sounds like your dad puts full responsibility on your mom, both productive and reproductive labor, to the point that he acts as if he is completely dependent on your mom fulfilling unreasonable expectations. It makes sense why your mom seems to be constantly driven to a breaking point - because she is carrying the entire weight of the relationship, and more.

It sounds like the best thing for your mom is to get away from your dad, but of course it's not simple or easy. I don't know where she is located but she could potentially consider looking into nearby domestic violence shelters as they can offer a safe place to stay while she comes up with a plan to live independently.

If anyone has any other comments or suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[aoife-ryan]

#HUNTSVILLEINTRO

THE BASICS;

FULL NAME: AOIFE OONA RYAN

NICKNAME: COFFEE (THANKS TO LOUIS POOIS)

GENDER: FEMALE

PRONOUNS: SHE/HER

AGE: THIRTY-SIX

OCCUPATION: PAEDIATRICIAN AT HUNTSVILLE CLINIC

RESIDENCE: THE TOWN

RESIDENT OR VISITOR: RESIDENT

HUNTER OR GATHERER: N/A EXCEPTION DUE TO BEING MEDICAL STAFF

TITLE: THE EMPRESS

FACECLAIM: KATIE MCGRATH

well here she is, the shiv roy of the ryan family.

THE BIO;

they say third time's the charm and that rang true when aoife became the third born child to charlotte and christopher ryan, and a few years later along came the rest. a turbulent childhood followed with the parents of the ryan children not holding any interest in their kids and that left the elder children to look after the younger children.

aoife was forced to grow up fast with louis leaving town when she was a child and bri leaving a few years after - louis returned on occasion whenever aoife had to call him. from the time her older siblings left town, aoife was up to the plate to play parent to her younger siblings and her parents. while she didn't blame louis or bri to go live their lives, she did feel some resentment that she never got the option to live hers. even now at times that resentment can rear it's ugly head but the siblings normally fight it out and it works itself out. being a proud woman, she only ever called louis when when desperate times became desperate measures and that became a reality when she had to call her siblings and break the news that their dad was in hospital and it wasn't looking good. then her mother fell suit of falling into worse health and suddenly aoife was juggling it all until louis returned to town when she was twenty three and helped take some of the weight of the world off her shoulders.

like her younger siblings, she never got the opportunity to go see the world by the time the paradox hit. zach chose to get a place of his own and so did aoife, though she took in the younger ryan's to look after them since her mom couldn't (and wouldn't). she balanced being a parent while she studied and trained to become a paediatrician and eventually qualified and took up residence at the huntsville clinic. aoife has a maternal instinct and it shows when she's taking care of her siblings or looking after the kids she sees at the clinic. she's always wanted to have a family but she found out that she can't have children which has only added to her frustrations of being stuck in town.

years later she's had time to mentally work on her resentment and mourn the idea of having her own children, but she tries to put that aside for the sake of her family. they're stuck together now whether they all liked it or not, she might as well try to make it civil on her part.

OTHER NOTES;

+ fights with louis the most out of her siblings.

+ will throw a stiletto at you if you piss her off. she's got a mean throwing arm. a sniper with a stiletto

+ the ryan family are one of the town's founding families

+ called coffee thanks to louis making fun of her name and it sticking since she was a kid. it's all good, he's called poois.

+ still feels responsible for her younger siblings even though their older now

+ won't be uncommon to see the ryan siblings in a loving sibling brawl

+ the empress - a mother, a creator, and nurturer. in tarot, it's traditionally associated with maternal influence, it is the card if you are hoping to start a family. she can represent the creation of life, romance, art, or new business. it also signifies a strong connection with our femininity

THE POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS;

FRIENDS

BESTIES

NEIGHBOURS

FAMILY FRIENDS

PEOPLE SHE WENT TO SCHOOL WITH

FRIENDS OF SIBLINGS

PATIENTS

ENEMIES

EX’S

CO-WORKERS

[my-gf-is-kazuichi-soda]

Still in the middle of D3 so no spoilers please!

Edit: I've finished D3, spoilers okay now lol

--

I dont usually make up family headcanons with same-age characters (it leaves myself more room for shipping) but for some reason I came up with three of them here. Okay I just realized the first one theyre not same age but, uh, anyway!

Ryoma is Hiyoko's uncle. I dont have much of an explanation for this. At first I thought it would be a funny idea if Ryoma was Hiyoko's dad but then I realized that Hiyoko's dad goes to all her dance recitals while Ryoma's been in jail for a while, so that makes it kind of impossible. Just a silly idea.

Kazuichi is Kaito's younger cousin (idk what the timeline is for D3 compared to the other games yet, and I know often times this class is headcanoned as younger than the D2 class, but this is all in an au anyway). They're same-voice actor cousins. Kaito gave Kazuichi the idea to build a rocket engine, maybe they watched alien movies together when they were little. Kaito hasn't seen Kazuichi since she was still in her booknerd phase, so Kaito would laugh a lot if you told him that his nervous, fidgety cousin went through a "scary punk phase." Have an idea for a short fanfic where he calls and says he's coming to visit her again and she's mid-transition at this point and unsure about coming out to him - I think he'd be cool with it. He'd possibly confuse trans with drag at first but he would be supportive and say that he's glad to see Kazuichi gain some confidence and self-esteem "even if you're still a bit fidgety" (Kaito that's not from being afraid that's just the adhd). Also Kaito and Zoey get along alright.

Nagito is Kokichi's older brother. (potential ableism trigger warning, also a warning for that sibling dynamic where one kid is neglected for the sick/disabled kid). There's angst potential as well as funny potential. This is more subject to change since there's a lot I still dont know about Kokichi, but from what I can tell he's a manipulative liar always making scenes to get attention and even though some of the fandom says he is "a normal person faking mental illness," I dont buy it. Maybe he's faking something, but he definitely has something too. Not sure if this is a controversial opinion, but I believe that people who fake mental illnesses (to this degree at least) are not neurotypical, it's a cry for help and they do need something, so they shouldn't be brushed off as just "ableist assholes" because there is something going on, though on the flip side it is not the job of other mentally ill people to coddle their feelings when that person is being ableist.

I think Kokichi also went through some trauma, like something happened with his family that made him have to attend court sessions (he said in the first trial that he had to go to trials all the time a long time ago "for his crimes as an Ultimate Supreme Leader" but I think that's Kokichi-talk for "he was a little kid and had to sit in trials for some family drama and the adults constantly blamed him for problems that weren't his fault," which is why he plays up this sort of misbehaving bad kid role). Anyway, my ansty hcs is that Kokichi was neglected because his parents focused on Nagito's illnesses, and that's part of why he acts up to get attention. He has some resentment for that but blames his parents more than Nagito and he and Nagito have the type of sibling relationship where they're sometimes on good terms and sometimes can't stand each other. They've thrown some shade at each other but Kokichi really knows how to piss off Nagito and is not afraid to bring up "hope" to mess with his head (though if anyone else did this they would suffer Kokichi's wrath, as far as he's concerned he's the only one allowed to pick on Nagito). Nagito thinks he goes easy on Kokichi when they fight but he can be petty and sassy back and has a lot of embarrassing dirt on Kokichi. They're the kind of brothers that will pester and argue with each other but they'll bury the dead body for the other no questions asked. And Lord help you if they're in the same courtroom, they could find the dumbest little things to bicker with each other about and filibuster the case, but also Nagito will totally back up Kokichi's lies and vise-versa. Whatever creates bigger hell at the moment for the player. It was a mercy they weren't in the same game.

Anyway, since I haven't finished the game yet there's probably-definitely stuff I dont know about these characters but I got excited to share this with you.

[thedressagedraft]

Probably Childfree

This is a thought dump.

Something that I have kind of come to accept recently is that I am not going to have children. It's not that I don't like kids, quite opposite really - I was a teacher and currently work in the youth department of a library. And I also know that I would be a great mom and my husband a wonderful dad.

But it's not what I want to do. I don't want to give up my free time, my money, my identity for someone who I will be connected to for the rest of my life. It's not just 18 years, it truly is the rest of life.

Every time my period is late I panic - never once have I thought "maybe I'm pregnant" and felt happy about it. I take pregnancy tests randomly just to make sure I don't have a surprise pregnancy bc I would want to terminate as early as possible.

It's odd. I have always been on the fence. When I was younger and in college I thought I'd probably like to have kids one day, maybe adopt since labor didn't sound great, but I didn't feel a need to be a mother. And when I met my husband we were both kind of on the fence, kids were a "maybe someday but we're in no hurry" kind of thing. But as I've gotten older I've leaned farther and farther to childfree.

There is just not enough of parenting that sounds enticing to me. Sure there are some things that would be nice. But dealing with the poor sleep, constant supervision, constant entertainment - and thats just while they're younger, the thought of dealing with an angsty or rebellios teen gets my heart racing. Taking on the mental load of raising a human. And I know that would fall on me, even though my husband has always been on board for 50/50 parenting. It just falls onto the mother. I already carry it for our animals and I just know it would be so much more for a human.

The reason I say accept is because I have been on the fence for so long. I'll lean one way and then the other. But at some point you just have to decide, and considering everything that I don't want to give up in my and my husband's lives, not to mention that I would never want to be pregnant in a red state (which we'll probably be in for the forseeable future), I just have to say I've decided and land on the side of childfree. In some ways it is sad and I'm kind of going through the thoughts of things I never will do by making this choice. But I'd much rather regret not having them than regret having them.

One other thing I've had to accept is that my decision could destroy my relationship with my husband, my one true person. He has always leaned more toward kids as we've gotten older. We've had many talks about it, and he's always assured he would never force pregnancy on me nor expect me to be pregnant in Texas, and that while he would like to be a dad, he would be able to feel happy and fulfilled in a life with just the two of us and our animals. And it comforts me but I still can't help worrying that he could come to resent me. I hope we can live as the fun aunt and uncle and that will be enough.

Ugh. Personal post is personal. Thanks for reading.