#and the medication isn't even a scheduled drug

[potsiefaerie]

Ffs.

I am off my usual routine which means I forgot it was Monday and I didn't make an alarm so I missed my psych appt, to get her to refill the medication that helps me remember to do things like... Check my calendar properly since only the three top things show up on my widget. 💀

[transandrobroism]

notes/replies on that last post (about Florida moving to ban all HRT for adults) suggest it was struck down by a judge, which is a relief obviously. but i do wanna pick up on the response being "set up DIY networks for HRT! organise and help each other!" which is cool and all but... as the latest reblog comment points out, T is a controlled drug.

some quick and dirty googling confirms testosterone is a Schedule III controlled drug in the USA, with most legal sources suggesting possession and/or distribution of Schedule III drugs is a 3rd degree felony. conviction can mean up to five years in prison and a $5,000 fine. crucially, in Florida (where this law was intended to come into force), selling or distributing a Schedule III drug to minors pushes it up to a 2nd degree felony with a harsher fine/sentence.

i make this point because the response to HRT being restricted is often some variation of "mutual aid DIY network" or just flat suggesting DIY to people as the solution. which is cool if you're on estrogen, but possessing testosterone without a prescription is a literal felony in the USA. T is also a controlled drug in the UK, where trans people face long waiting lists for HRT - it's not illegal to possess T for personal use, but it is illegal to get them sent to you from abroad (importing a controlled drug) and to give them to other people (supply). to legally get T you need a prescription from a doctor.

in a hostile transphobic environment there is no guarantee that prosecuters will decide not to charge trans people for DIYing HRT. "set up DIY networks" for transmascs basically translates to "set up an illegal drug ring".

this is a form of transphobia that affects transmascs but does not affect transfems. it also affects nonbinary and intersex folks seeking or using testosterone HRT. in fact it could potentially impact some nonbinary trans folks worse because the medical gatekeeping around trying to transition as nonbinary is already an uphill struggle.

it is not easy for those of us on T to just DIY it and fuck the system. without a valid prescription our HRT becomes a banned illegal steroid that can land us in serious legal trouble if we get caught, especially if we're distributing it to other people as part of a mutual aid setup. i know we're all very "be gay do crime" for the memes but we are talking about an actual factual go-to-jail-irl crime here.

the fact that our HRT is an illegal drug unless prescribed by a doctor is a form of transandrophobia that affects trans men, transmascs, nonbinary people on masculinising HRT, and intersex people who want or need testosterone. it means that:

we cannot DIY transition without committing a crime, and have to weigh up that risk when considering DIY as an option

setting up a mutual aid testosterone DIY network is even more of a crime, especially if you want to use it to help trans teens

we are thus more dependent on placating medical practitioners and convincing them to prescribe us HRT

we will always be more impacted by any moves to restrict or delay access to HRT because we don't have an easy, legal DIY option

when access to HRT is limited for transphobic reasons, the DIY option comes at much higher risk

where access to HRT is severely delayed (as it is in the UK by years-long waiting lists), it is easier for transfems to start DIYing while they wait than it is for transmascs to do the same thing. in fact in the UK they've started selling estrogen HRT over the counter for menopause, so here if you want to start estrogen DIY all you have to do is get a cis lady friend to ask a pharmacist for menopause treatments. if you wanna start T you have to go on the fucking dark web (I'm exaggerating but... not a lot)

none of this is intended to suggest that transfems don't experience medical transphobia or gatekeeping and this isn't a "trans men have it worse universally across the board" post. there are undoubtedly some areas where it's harder to be transfem. however, this is one area where it is clearly and demonstrably harder to be a trans man. i am pointing this out because i keep seeing people saying that transmascs have it easier or there's no systemic or structural transphobia targeting trans men or we only ever experience misdirected misogyny or whatever. here is your proof that that is not true. this is a form of structural and systemic transphobia that impacts trans men and not trans women. and there is no possible world in which you can argue that testosterone being a controlled drug is somehow misogyny.

[angelic-dew]

Can I get yandere alphabet list with tanjiro?? Thank you babes <3

# yandere alphabet list !

✧༉‧₊˚୨ 🕸 ୧・author's note :: sorry for the delay, my posting schedule isn't the most consistent! I got this list from @dear-yandere to use as reference.

✧༉‧₊˚୨ 🔪 ୧・pairing :: Tanjiro K. x g/n reader — {you/your pronouns}

✧༉‧₊˚୨ ⛓ ୧・trigger warnings :: yandere. isolation. kidnapping. unhealthy obsessions. delusions. some ooc. mentions of drugs. mental abuse. manipulation. gaslighting. stalking. grammatical errors. ⁞⁞ LETTERS A—P

⚝. Just a reminder I don't tolerate nor do I encourage the following topics in reality; I like keeping it strictly to fiction.

[A]ffection :: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Tanjiro is an interesting individual when he becomes lovesick. His undying love for you only burns pure passion and lust into the deepest depths of his heart for you; so it's no surprise he tries to show you his affection in every way he humanly can. I see his main love languages being words of affirmation and quality time, of course, some others slip in as well, just not as much such as gift-giving and acts of service. So he's willing to go to many lengths for you, he always strives to give you his utter best and nothing less.

[B]lood :: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Not much in particular, he would never hurt innocent civilians and villagers regardless of how much jealousy tries to tempt him into acting in such a manner. He would rather try to isolate you from that person(s) completely rather than kill them off, though, he does get sudden urges to act upon those deeds. Now, if it's a demon, then it's fair game. The brutality would really show in his actions if it were a demon, like a fire luminously burning in his chest as he fights it courageously, just for you.

[C]ruelty :: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

No, he would never dream of showing what's truly stored beneath the surface of his kind smile. Even though you got abducted by him, he would still treat you with the same vehement amount of endearment; if not, maybe a bit more since you have no one to go to besides him if there's any such issue. He likes this feeling of being depended on. Kamado would definitely make you dependent on him but also restrict some of your access to certain parts in your place of capture by keeping a heavy chain tightly secured to your ankle.

[D]arling :: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Of course, he would, not intentionally though; he really doesn't mean to act upon it in these such ways but his self-control slips at certain times when rage begins to consume him entirely. I see him always wanting to be around you, therefore, that can translate to taking you on various missions with him with or without your permission. He lives and breathes you, it's no surprise he'd also tend to drug you from time to time with sleeping medication so you can barely remember a thing when you end up in a foreign location.

[E]xposed :: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Before your 'disappearance', I would assume he would be very subtle with his emotions towards you; of course, he would be a little too friendly towards you but what's the harm in that? You two are just best friends, nothing more or nothing less, sharing a close bond together is all that it is. Now, when his true colours are revealed, he'd be much more open with you concerning his feelings, reminding you every night that you're with him that you're his only true love, whispering words of compassion, professing his love for you repeatedly in hopes you'd see him in the same way he sees you. Very vulnerable indeed.

[F]ight :: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

He is not pleased in the slightest. Tanjiro loves you, why can't you just see that he means all well to you. His one and only radiant angel sent from above; he doesn't harm you even though he is edged to do so, his violent tendencies are getting worse and worse. He simply sees you being unhappy with the situation, he only attempts to console and softly mutter words of how much you mean to him. It's only for your own good after all, he's doing this for you, can't you see that? Hopefully one day you'll realize that your actions of lashing out are futile.

[G]ame :: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

This situation is far from comical to Tanjiro. There is no such entertainment in having his darling try to leave him when he desperately needs them more than ever. So, attempts to escape do enrage him to an extent but he could never actually get upset with you. Not all can bare with these types of experiences, so he doesn't blame you. All he has to do is up the ante in barriers and security in your place of capture. And maybe do the same for you.

[H]ell :: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Hmm, if I had to pick, it would be the few times he deprived you of food and water as a form of punishment. Strengthening your restraints and such as well, causing nasty bruises to form along your wrists. That and the time he locks you up for long durations in pitch darkness as another form of punishment. But this treatment type only comes when you seriously cross the line.

[I]deals :: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

He planned everything out already! He wants an estate and to be married and four kids and a pet chicken named Kota! But in all seriousness, he sees himself falling for you further in the future and you doing the same to him. He sees you walking down the aisle looking utterly extravagant! That's the main thing he dreams of each night. To make it official with you. To tie you with him until death do you both part.

[J]ealousy :: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Not really, but he can't control it when he does get this strong feeling. He usually tries to be passive-aggressive with his jealousy, uttering snarky remarks under his breath but never anything too direct. He usually sulks in his jealousy until he reminds himself that you truly belong to him and him only! It's pretty useless wasting emotions on those who aren't worth it.

[K]isses :: How do they act around or with their darling?

Fairly.. normal in public spaces. I mean, it is Tanjiro after all, he acts cheerful and sweet, comforting when he needs to. He acts like his usual self, however, there is a distinct possessive nature which lurks deep within him that comes out of hiding ever so often. He is keen on having your attention all to himself, and will become highly frustrated if someone were to even hold you in a conversation.

[L]ove letters :: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

Easy. I think that Kamado would definitely be a strong believer that all relationships last longer when they are friends or good acquaintances before pursuing an actual relationship; ergo, he would attempt to befriend you before dropping some hints on the matter.

[M]ask :: Are their true colours drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Not entirely, Tanjiro is Tanjiro, he will always be what he is, a good person deep down that wants nothing more than to help others in need, but you, you bring out something he could have never imagined himself being like - How hostile he could truly get around others when they've done nothing wrong, a sense of urgency always takes over him when he's with you, and he'd be very clingy, you must pay attention to him! and him only.

[N]aughty :: How would they punish their darling?

As I stated previously in [H]ell, I would say he isn't one for many punishments. The most he'll do (when you're finally abducted of course), is tighten your restraints to the point you feel like you're losing circulation to that area. The cold steel tightens around your wrists, almost making your hand feel completely numb; now that would be the worst. The second type of punishment is depriving you of food and water for at least a day or two, while you're stuck in the darkness, with only his voice to alleviate your whines and needs.

[O]ppression :: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

The most Kamado would do is restrict you from having much freedom; when he 'punishes' you, he cracks away at your basic needs: nutrients, food and water. So I would say that's bad by itself but your social interaction will also be limited, as expected. The only one you could ever truly see besides him is Nezuko, and even then, she has issues with her speech.

[P]atience :: How patient are they with their darling?

Extremely patient, it's kind of scary at times, he rarely ever snaps - and if he does it's not something noticeable. The only thing that would change is that his always soft smile would shift into more of a neutral frown accompanied by a blank stare. Another thing about Tanjiro is that he's incredibly understanding, which makes him more tolerable than other yanderes, in turn, he can see why you will not enjoy these circumstances. So take all the time you need to adjust.

© angelic-dew, please don't translate or reclaim without permission <3

[vanha-paholainen]

Viktor NSFW hc's.

Tw: mentions of sickness, mentions of throwing up, mentions of famished body.

Soon I will see my dear Viktor again.

I made some headcanons about him. Hope someone will like it. English isn't my first language, so please, don't beat me up, I'm just some ukrainian guy.

— The older Viktor gets, the worse his legs get. Problems with joints are added to the congenital curvature. If at the age of twenty-two he was able to cover three or four kilometers in a day, and with proper stops and motivation — all eight, now, at thirty-two, it is sometimes difficult for him even to get himself out of bed.

— Viktor, in addition to the corset and leg correction shown in the series, wears compression stockings when he feels particularly lousy.

— Actually, all his meals are scheduled and strictly regulated in accordance with his medication, but this stubborn workaholic often neglects his needs, which then makes him vomit bile, faints and experiences other troubles.

— Speaking of stomach problems. Let's omit the fact that all the characters that I like, they somehow magically appear — Viktor really has a reason for problems with the gastrointestinal tract. Previously, everything was tolerable, but now, due to the side effects of phlegm-thinning lung drugs and heavy painkillers on which he sits, Viktor vomits with enviable regularity at least once every two weeks. This usually happens either in the middle of the working day or after. Sometimes he jumps up to get a basin early in the morning, because he can also be sick from pills. Because of this, his teeth are slowly deteriorating. In addition, it is in the episodes of vomiting that he feels particularly weak and pathetic.

— It is in case of an unforeseen outpouring of vomit that there is a basin under Viktor's desk.

— He often faints too. This is mainly due to overwork and lack of sleep. Over the years, Victor has learned to anticipate this phenomenon and therefore usually manages to sit down.

— Viktor washes exclusively while sitting on a special shower chair for people with disabilities. You can't sit in the bathroom in his position, and if you do, you'll get out, and standing in the shower without support is painful and tiring for him.

— If Viktor takes days off, it's just to get enough sleep. He doesn't like social events and noisy streets. It seems to him that the Piltoverians look at him with contempt, he does not like small talk, because he is used to putting meaning and sincerity into every word he says, and, besides, the noise of the crowd tires him very quickly. Even when Jayce invites him, filled with a strange sense of extrovert duty to an introverted work partner, Viktor politely refuses. He does not want to once again experience the views of the local nobility and feel like a stranger. He has enough problems without that.

— The feeling of loneliness and misunderstanding is his only faithful companion. Since childhood, Viktor has watched the fun of other children as if through bulletproof glass, and over the years this feeling of alienation from the world of people has only worsened. He had never experienced true friendship, had never loved anyone—and sometimes this realization made him hate himself so much that it was time to climb into a noose. In despair, he thought that maybe if he had been born like everyone else, it would have been easier for him. No, he never tried to be like the crowd, but loneliness often made him regret his genius. Over time, Viktor resigned himself. After all, his mechanisms will always be with him. There is no human impermanence in them. The breakdown of a certain gear is easier to predict than the cooling of a relationship.

— By the age of thirty-two, Viktor is a virgin. As mentioned earlier, he has never loved anyone, and therefore this fact is not shameful for him. He just thinks it's out of his area of interest and has no regrets about it.

— Viktor has a very significant «manhood»: 18.4 cm in length. However, he does not use it.

— Despite the extremely lousy position of his lungs, he smokes, and smokes a lot. He prefers unfiltered cigarettes, smokes about a dozen a day.

— Surprisingly, Viktor is not circumcised and is not even infertile. He is quite capable of becoming a father - but I think anyone understands that this will be the worst version of a dad that can only be imagined.

— Viktor never attached much importance to the partner's gender. He believes that there is no need to limit yourself to such extensive issues. He is bisexual (and possibly a mechanophile).

— If Viktor hypothetically has sex, he will do it with all his usual thoroughness. He will buy a pack of the best thin condoms (japanese ones can serve as an analogue from our world), purchase hypoallergenic lubricant and be very careful with his partner. In addition, before sexual intercourse, he will wash himself and immediately before the process, he will discuss everything with his partner again. It may seem superfluous, but he does not know how to do otherwise. He feels safer when he knows for sure that he is doing everything right: after all, it is not in his plans to damage someone's intestines or cervix.

— What Viktor will definitely not try in bed is the missionary position, where the heavier partner will be on top, and sitting on his face. This point hardly needs explanation.

— If Viktor finds himself in a receiving position in bed (that is, under a man), he will expect from his partner the same tenderness and attentiveness that he shows himself. Viktor does not welcome rudeness and savagery. He is thirty-two years old and terminally ill. With him, either gently and carefully, or in no way.

— Viktor prefers large partners with a good combination of fat percentage and muscle mass. No, appearance does not come first for him, the contact of mind and soul is more important to him — but opposites attract, and he will be especially pleased if his partner, regardless of gender, is an athletic endomorph with dark skin and large breasts. Sky and Jayce are perfect for his type.

— By the way, the subject of Viktor's stingy erotic fantasies are... Anatomical sketches with a female body. Yes, he prefers realism and precision even in such matters.

— Viktor treats himself differently. As mentioned earlier, he differentiates himself from society, and therefore his own nakedness seems disgusting and unnatural to him. He considers himself unattractive due to exhaustion and pelvic problems, and therefore does not like to relate himself to the general mass. Deep down, he wants to become a machine: then there will be no problems with a sick body and an imperfect mind. «Naturalness is for everyone, but not for me.»

[kining-the-evil]

Yandere Lisa cuddy you say? 👀 That's right up my alley. If your requests are open, could we get headcanons about her and yandere Wilson with a regressor reader? Platonic obvs

Yandere!Cuddy and Yandere!Wilson with age regression reader

Warnings: forced Age regression, Yandere!Cuddy, Yandere!Wilson, kidnaping, drugging, nonsexual age regression, gender neutral reader

AN: If I see anyone making the age regression sexual, I will block you. I wrote them separately, but if you wanted something different let me know.

House MD Taglist: @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @flowercrowns-goodvibes

House MD Masterlist All Masterlists

Lisa Cuddy

Lisa met you on a stop for coffee one morning, you were the barista, and it was your first day. She thought it was kind of cute how you fidgeted and were clearly nervous. She ended up giving you a large tip at the end of her order, even if you did miss it up slightly.

She began coming every day, timing it so that she could say hi, talk a little bit. She thought you were adorable, but not in an 'I should ask them out' way, more of a 'they need taken care of' way.

One night, while browsing the internet she finds an interesting concept. Photos and stories of adults regressing to younger ages as ways of relaxing or healing trauma, and she can't help but imagine you in that place.

She's a little ashamed of it at first, but her maternal instinct can't help but fantasize about taking care of you.

One morning, when she goes in for her morning coffee, she gets stuck behind another guy who is extremely rude to you. Even yelling at you until you cried.

Lisa decided she had to do something to help you. You clearly can't handle being an adult on your own, and she'll help you.

She waits until you're leaving work for the night and uses some meds from the hospital to knock you out.

After taking you Lisa pretends that you've always been there. She believes keeping a strict schedule immediately will help you settle into your life with her.

She really doesn't do drugging or anything, you're her baby, and she would never drug a baby!

She loves dressing you up, playing games, feeding you from a bottle, and anything that involves bonding.

Your room is perfect, a paradise of colors, toys, and stuffed animals.

Lisa is careful to not spoil you though, she wants a respectable, well-behaved baby.

You can try to act up, but Lisa is patient and puts up with all your 'temper tantrums' until you learn it's just easier to give in.

James Wilson

James meets you at the hospital where you're an intern. He notices quickly how soft spoken you are, how you never stand up for yourself, and he can't help but feel protective over you.

He starts a friendship with you but keeps it on the downlow the best he can. With how sensitive you are he doesn't want House anywhere near you.

While going over some medical books he ends up finding a phycology one that talks about age regression being used for therapeutic reasons. While you've never revealed some sort of trauma, he can't help but see you in the descriptions, and can't stop thinking about being your 'caregiver' as it says in the book.

Without thinking about it, James starts to buy little things he thinks you'd like. Small stuffed animals, toys, old Disney movies, and before he knows it, he's turned the spare bedroom into a nursery for you. It may not be the best one, but it's cozy.

James is meticulous with how he kidnaps you, planning it out for months before finally taking you.

He's unprepared when it comes to your reaction, however. He didn't expect the fighting, the yelling, the anger you direct at him. He does anything to calm you down, even drugging your milk to keep you calm for a while.

James isn't as strict about you looking or acting like a baby all the time. He doesn't want you to be an adult, but also recognizes that you are one and it would be difficult to just give that up.

James will spoil you, giving you your way most if the time. He's a lot less organized than Lisa.

[vickyvicarious]

His attitude to me was the same as that to the attendant; in his sublime self-feeling the difference between myself and attendant seemed to him as nothing. It looks like religious mania, and he will soon think that he himself is God. These infinitesimal distinctions between man and man are too paltry for an Omnipotent Being. How these madmen give themselves away! The real God taketh heed lest a sparrow fall; but the God created from human vanity sees no difference between an eagle and a sparrow. Oh, if men only knew!

Seward: Renfield actually dares to treat me the same as he did the attendant. Who does he think he is, God?

Seward: ....he totally is going to think he's God any minute now. There's no other explanation. After all, sure, the real God cares about sparrows but hello, I'm an eagle. Not all birds are the same to just dismiss like this.

"I am here to do Your bidding, Master. I am Your slave, and You will reward me, for I shall be faithful. I have worshipped You long and afar off. Now that You are near, I await Your commands, and You will not pass me by, will You, dear Master, in Your distribution of good things?" He is a selfish old beggar anyhow. He thinks of the loaves and fishes even when he believes he is in a Real Presence. His manias make a startling combination.

Seward: Hmph! I always knew he was selfish and just wanted things out of people. Even when he thinks he's next to God, he just tries to get things from people. What, are the spiders I give him not enough anymore?

...I joke but seriously. His feelings are hurt and he's lashing out. And also, look at how quick he's jumping to conclusions in doing so. He immediately assumes Renfield is going to think himself God. Later, when that seems proven false by Renfield appealing to some kind of higher presence at the chapel door, Seward doesn't remark on that at all. Instead, he grumbles about his behavior in a very put-out way. He started the entry trying to engage Renfield on the subject of his pets (which Seward generously allows him to keep, some of which Renfield has previously wheedled and pleaded to get from him with lots of deference) and is shut down, so his complaints on this line in particular definitely feel like they're stemming from a sense of rejection. And of course, Renfield running away is a pretty clear 'rejection' also.

It doesn't feel like a coincidence that this entry also includes these lines:

I am weary to-night and low in spirits. I cannot but think of Lucy, and how different things might have been.

Seward is lonely, and in the past he's sought to distract himself from that in work. He's sought social fulfillment of a sort with Renfield. When Renfield rejects him, he sinks into a depressed mood and has to make a very deliberate effort to resist self-medicating. His sleep schedule is all screwed up. And his reason for not indulging isn't even so much out of wanting to be more healthy himself than it is due to this pedestal he's put Lucy on. He doesn't want to associate her with the drugs he wants to take, and since he's been unable to stop thinking about her after this new rejection, he chooses not to take it.

He's a mess.

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Best and Worst of Both Worlds (part 11)

Tw: reader got sick again lol this time to the ER, mentions of violence, kidnapping sequence, queerphobia from Monty

Damn guys i was expecting the other options to win but most of u guys wanted back to the university??

Vote down below guys, will start making the next chapter after 20 votes

Part 12

You decided to head to your university. They don't skimp on their snack budget, hence they provide the best snacks. You took the medicine that Yves paid for you before leaving the house.

Halfway through the bus ride though, you're starting to regret your choice. Your head and shoulders became extremely heavy and you feel like crap.

But it's too late to turn back now. The next bus is in an hour.

You stumbled out of the bus and rubbed your eyes. Yawning and scratching your back.

Bleary eyed, you started walking away from the station. Feeling like you're forgetting something, but you shrug it off. Thinking it should be in your bag.

Except, you didn't have your bag.

You gasped when you realized that you're not carrying anything behind you. But then relief washed over you when you realized that it's at home and not on the bus that's disappearing on the horizon. Then, that also means you left the door unlocked.

You sighed, sticking your hand in your pocket, planning to tell your housemates about it.

You pulled out a rectangular device and tried unlocking the screen.

Except there was no screen. Because it's not a smartphone, it's a power Bank.

That's right, Yves gave you his power bank to use indefinitely. You were charging it right next to your phone... what is wrong with you?

You groan, oh this is bad.

It's the 21st century, memorizing phone numbers is not the trend, you don't know what number to call aside from emergency services or your own. Maybe you remembered the numbers of your parents, but they're in another country. What could they do?

You took a deep breath. This is fine, you're in the university not some sketchy alleyway. You know the schedule of the next bus and if there's an emergency, you could just use a payphone to dial 911.

You have some cash on you and that's fine. You'll live, it's enough to pay for your bus fare.

So you walked, in a zombie-like way. You should have just rotted in bed, scrolling through your social media and burning your phone credits. But no, you just had to leave the house.

At least the weather is cool and the air is fresh. You continued walking, finally reaching past the entrance.

Everything feels severely foggy. You couldn't think straight, there were a couple times where you would stand in front of a potted plant and stare at it for minutes. Then you would snap yourself out of it and walk away. God knows what medication it was, you just took it as per the pharmacist's instructions. You're sure it's playing a part in your current incapable state.

You rubbed your eyes and whined. Pacing around, finding a hard time to figure out what to do. Your head hurts and your entire body isn't cooperating with what your brain is signalling. Your brain isn't even working with you.

What did you just eat? Did you accidentally poison yourself with the wrong pills?

Through your bleary eyes, you spotted a tall figure jogging up to you. But your lowered inhibitions prevented you from feeling alarmed, you just want to rest at home.

"Hey, hey, stop that." You felt someone gently grabbing your wrists, stopping you from rubbing your now red eyes. "Are you alright?"

It's Montgomery. He's kneeling to your level and staring deep into your eyes, his massive hands holding your head in place as he inspect you.

"What's up with you?" He asked, you're still processing what, or who, you're looking at.

"Damn, what did he do to you? You're all drugged up!" He scrambled to get back up on his feet. "C'mon, sweetheart. Let's get you to a doctor."

Confused and afraid, you tried protesting but Montgomery ended up carrying you bridal-style. You tried screaming for help, but he hushed you.

"Shh... it's okay, it's okay. I'm not gonna drop ya'. You're as light as a feather!" He cooed. "I got ya', you don't have to worry 'bout a thing, I'll take care of you, I'll save ya' from that bastard."

He stuffed you into his back seat, laying you down on your back. You shrieked when he climbed atop and straddled your hips, but he's only doing that to fluff the pillow under your head. The man got off and tucked you under his blanket, he then secured you with both seatbelts so you wouldn't roll off when he drives.

"Bend your knees for me, darlin'. I can't shut the door with your legs juttin' out!"

You refused and kept screaming, hoping that someone could help you. Which made Montgomery uncomfortable, not because he thinks you're scared of him, because he thinks you're in pain.

"Shh... I know, I know. I'll make it all better. I promise, you just have to hold out for a little longer, okay?" He gripped onto your calves and pushed them into the car. Immediately after, he shut the car door and dashed to the driver's seat.

You tried unbuckling yourself and unlocking the door, but you're at a severe disadvantage since you're still severely disorientated. You gave up when the car started speeding away from the venue.

Through your haziness, you managed to ask why he's in the university.

"I was hopin' to find ya', and I did. You're lucky I spotted you before some other creeps did! They'd snatch you right up and you couldn't fight back 'cause you're all doped up!"

It's unbelievable that he didn't realize that he was describing himself.

You asked how he knew to find you at six in the morning.

"Well, I remember when I had to go to school. I had classes at 7AM, my folks came an hour early while I came an hour late. 'Cause I was helping out with the farm. I don't reckon you have a farm to help out on. Do ya?" Such solid reasoning comes from the maniac himself.

You asked him what happened yesterday after he was escorted out, not realizing that he would take your curiosity as a concern for his wellbeing, and hence another declaration of your love.

"Aww is someone worried about me? I'm fine, that fucking queer roughed me up a lil'. But he played dirty, bet that asshole won't have the balls to get in a fair fight with me. Bless your heart for witnessing all the ugly. But I'm here now, I'll keep you safe from that monster. What did he do to ya'?"

You wanted to tell him that Yves is your boyfriend and Montgomery is the monster in your eyes. But immediately zipped your mouth closed because you're unsure as to how he is going to react to that, you can't take him on normally, let alone sick and potentially drugged.

"Sweetheart?" He glanced at you through his rearview mirror. You tried speaking, but you found that your tongue was too swollen for you to say anything. Drool dribbled down your chin as you found it increasingly harder to breathe.

"What the fuck..." He muttered under his breath before switching up his tone to calm you down. "I-it's fine! It's gonna be okay, baby. Just... think of the Lord. He'll get us through this!" You heard the whirring of his engine grow louder as he floored the gas pedal.

You wish Yves is here. He would have known what to do.

__

You took the biggest gasp of your life, greedily sucking in the air as it rushes into your lungs. You winced as the searing light stabbed your strained eyes, and sounds of people chattering, beeping, and rushing reached your ears. Coldness nipped at your skin and you felt something attached to your face. The air smelled of iodoform, and you coughed and hacked as everything was overwhelming you.

Finally, you managed to focus and process where you are.

"Mx Joe?"

Who?

"Mx Joe, can you hear me?" You turned your head to the side, the pillow slightly blocking your view. You saw a woman in scrubs and a pair of gloves, next to her were other nurses rushing the code cart to other patients in the room.

You looked at the rubber oxygen mask strapped to your face. Your thigh felt sore and tender, and then you realized why when you saw another nurse nearby holding an empty syringe.

The woman began introducing herself as a medical resident, you didn't pay attention when she told you her name. Soon after, she began explaining how you got here.

She said that your partner brought you in; unconscious, swollen as if you were stung by an army of bees and unable to breathe. You had an allergic reaction to something you consumed, inhaled, or touched. She asked if you ate anything you suspected could be the culprit a few hours ago.

The pill. You must be allergic to the medication.

You and she went back and forth, answering all the relevant questions she asked you. This time you told her your real name and true details. All she did was note it down in her clipboard without asking further questions as to why Montgomery gave her a fake name.

She did a couple more tests to make sure you didn't suffer from other complications. Once she deemed you healthy enough, she sent you on your way to be discharged, the ER is too busy for you to linger there any longer than necessary.

Another nurse wheelchaired you out of the Emergency department and into the waiting room, where Montgomery was there nervously fiddling with his hands while waiting for you.

"Joe!" He exclaimed before running towards you. "God, I was so damn worried! What the hell happened to them?" Montgomery asked the nurse, his hands squished your face into a compressed chunk.

You were reminded once again, Yves's soft touches are superior.

"They had an allergic reaction to a drug prescribed to treat their nausea. They're fine." The nurse turned to you. "Get some rest and drink enough fluids. You're going to feel tired, but that is to be expected. Any questions?"

You looked at Montgomery and he stared at you back.

You were contemplating whether you should scream for help. But... if it wasn't for him, you would be dead. If the police are involved, he will surely go to jail this time. And, you don't exactly feel comfortable ruining his life after he saved yours.

He's mentally deranged, but so far you think he wouldn't cause too much harm to you.

You slowly shook your head and prayed that you wouldn't regret your decision to not snitch on him.

"Alright. That will be all." The nurse told Montgomery the directions to the payment counters.

He began pushing you in your wheelchair with him.

"What a week, huh?" He tried to lighten the mood, but you're as somber as ever. Badly yearning for your phone and Yves's wallet, this is going to be a death sentence for your wallet.

You're dreading your turn. This is not going to end well for you, you can't call anyone aside from your parents who are on another continent. You wished that you memorized Yves's number.

When your name is called, Montgomery didn't react. It was called the second time, and you hesitantly brought your hands to the wheels. He grabbed your wrist.

"Hey, whatcha' doing?"

The receptionist called your name again. You sighed, coming clean that your name isn't Joe M. To your surprise, he wasn't shocked or upset, all he did was stand up and walk towards the counter.

You stretched your neck, trying to gain vantage over the sea of sick people. Montgomery took out a tattered, leather wallet from the back pocket of his work pants. You saw his eye widen momentarily and he seemed to be arguing with the receptionist about something. In the end, he swiped his slightly chipped debit card on the machine. He looked uneasy as he keyed in his PIN number on the card reader.

He collected the receipt before stuffing it into his wallet. Montgomery walked back with a bittersweet smile.

You asked him how much it was.

"Don't worry about it, honey. I'm just glad yer' fine."

You said that he didn't have to pay for you. You could do it yourself.

"Oh yeah? You and with what money? You shouldn't be thinkin' 'bout money troubles at this age. You should be focusin' on gettin' that degree!" He laughed, ruffling your hair. "Any respectable boyfriend would pay for his partner's bills!"

You told him that he isn't your boyfriend.

"Sure, sweetheart." He dismissed you as he grabbed the handles of your wheelchair. You stopped him and said you could walk. Before he could react to that, you used all your might to stand up, mildly stumbling around a bit before finding your balance. He stuck his arms around you, ready to catch if you were to fall.

"Y'know, you shouldn't push yourself too hard. I'm pretty sure the hospital is gonna let us borrow this till' the exit." You began walking away. More like limping.

"H-hey! Wait up!" He jogged to catch up with you.

He wrapped his arm around your waist and urged you in another direction.

"I parked this way, c'mon." He rested his hand on the small of your back. It's a little too far down for comfort and you didn't like how he would rub you.

__

His idea of "sick people's food" is something people eat to get sick.

But you're starving at this point, so you're scarfing down an English muffin breakfast sandwich. Letting the grease coat your fingers and the yolk covers your face, it's a messy ordeal.

"I gotta bring you out to eat more..." Mumbled Montgomery as he watched you devour two of the same sandwiches. He developed a newfound distaste for Yves on top of his strong, existing ones. Montgomery is disgusted that Yves didn't even have the decency to feed "his love". What kind of man let's his beloved starve like this? Definitely not Montgomery.

He only got three bites in and you're now stealing his hash browns. You don't know where you are, this was the first time visiting the hospital. All you know is that he's currently parked in a fast food joint's free parking lot.

It's a seven-minute drive from the hospital. You looked at the built-in clock on his radio.

10:59AM. You have an hour left to get home before Yves arrives and potentially causes a catastrophe.

"So... (name)." You watched him from the corner of your eyes. "What was up with Joe M.?"

You gulped. You said it was an inside joke.

"Well, what is it?" You told him it would ruin the joke.

"Keep your secrets then." He took another bite out of his meal.

You and he ate in silence, mostly him. You were somewhat noisy because you didn't bother closing your mouth when chewing.

"Relax, it's not gonna run away." He chuckled as you stuffed your face with more of the sandwich. Montgomery bought 6 in total, expecting to eat 4 of them. But in reality, he only got to eat 2.

"Y'know, you don't have to do all that for money." You looked at him, waiting for him to elaborate on what he meant.

"I know those wealthy bastards, they go after pretty young things like you and suck your youth from ya' like vampires. It ain't worth it."

You forced a giant chunk of unchewed food down your throat.

"H-hey don't do that! You're gonna choke!" He patted your back as you coughed.

You asked in between hacks if he's talking about Yves.

"Is that what his name is? But yeah, I'm talkin' about him."

You asked him if he thinks you're prostituting yourself.

"No! I- I mean- I don't know, I was thinkin' more of the sugar baby line of work. It ain't necessarily mean you gotta be bumpin' uglies in the bedroom- you don't seem like the type. But I sure do know he ain't got ya best interests at heart." He explained.

You brought your arm up to wipe your mouth with your sleeve. But This time, he was prepared. He held your arm and pushed a napkin to your chin. He took the liberty to clean your face up for you.

You definitely preferred Yves's gentle touch over Montgomery's brutish ones.

"He ain't good for you, (name). Trust me on this." You tried to pull away from his rigorous wiping, but he held your head in place with the other hand.

"Folks from back home were deceived by men like these. They come to the city lookin' to build a better future. Then a wealthy man came along, makin' promises that he can't keep in exchange for their souls." He released you, taking the dirtied tissue with him. Montgomery placed it on his dashboard, planning to dispose of it later.

"...and guess what, those men left them high and dry. They lost their money, their body and their minds. Now, my folks aren't city dwellers, we're from the countryside, they didn't know any better. I know you ain't from here too."

You asked Montgomery what made him think that way.

"You have a heart of gold and hands of sand. Folks born and raised here are damn sadists with a pair of soft hands. Ain't none of them picked a field rake up before."

You said don't think you picked up a field rake in your life either.

"That ain't the point, I'm sayin' you don't blend in with the rest of these fuckin' pricks. And you're attractin' trouble like this Sugar Daddy of yours."

There is no point in trying to correct him. You just nodded in acknowledgement.

He held both of your hands in his, enveloping them tightly into a ball. It hurts a bit.

"Please, darlin'. I beg of you, stay away from him. He's gonna break your heart and I sure hell don't want to see my baby in tears. I will treat you right, be with me and you ain't gotta worry 'bout a thing. I'm gonna feed you, drive you around and buy you stuff you always wanted." He pressed your hands against his cheek, with Montgomery's stubble scratching your palm.

"Please? Could you stop seeing him for me, please, sweetheart? I'll treat you so much better than that monster. I will take care of you." He crooned, placing a kiss or two on your hands. You grimaced when you felt the wetness of his saliva on your skin.

He is insane. You looked around for a possible opportunity to escape, but there isn't any.

You glanced at the clock.

It says 11:29AM.

Montgomery realizes what you're looking at and connected the pieces. He lets go of your hands and begins tidying up around him

"You have class, don'tcha'? I'll get you back to school. But... I think ya' oughta' listen to the doctor and rest at home. You were damn near seeing the pearly gates today." He buckled his seat belt and reignited his engine.

You wince as you hear the car roar back to life.

You thought about the different possible scenarios that could happen. You're thankful that he didn't realize it's your semester break now.

[cripplecharacters]

hi! a friend of mine has recently told me a bunch of stuff about how i could include some disabled characters in my short stories (i write hurt/comfort for the record) and what they'd like to see more of.

something on the list was "[disabled people] have access to certain medical supplies that normally wouldn't be accessible." google isn't being super helpful as it's a pretty vague statement. can you give me some examples of this? would it be syringes and needles? or certain medication that's easy to use with malicious intent? (also for the record, they were specifically asking if i could write more disabled characters doing the hurting instead of being victims of it, since that tends to be an underrepresented category). i dont even know where to start researching since there's so many types of disabilities, so any help would be hugely appreciated!

Hello,

Prescriptions open up a world of medical supplies that the public would have to jump through major hoops to access or wouldn't be able to access at all. For example, epinephrine auto-injectors, commonly known as Epi-Pens. In America, one can only get those with a prescription or if you're the caretaker for someone who has life-threatening allergies, there is no other way to get them unless you buy them from a shady sight from the United Kingdom or Canada. Even Adrenaclic, created by CVS Pharmacy, which also treats anaphylaxis, is only available when prescribed by a medical professional. Disabled people with chronic pain can access medical marijuana, or even medical-grade opioids. One can't legally buy Schedule 2 Drugs (things like Adderall) without a prescription. It'll depend on what condition they have, but prescription medications are a huge part of that "access to supplies the rest of the population can't have."

The second thing is medical-grade sterile equipment. Sure, you can buy IV bags off of Amazon for fifteen dollars for fifty, but those probably aren't medical-grade and you don't have a guarantee that they're good or safe quality. IV fluids are hard to find at a reasonable price. Syringes? Those absolutely need to be sterile, it's not safe to buy those from anywhere that isn't a pharmacy. All of this stuff is best purchased as medical-grade, meaning it could be used by a doctor or a hospital, and they aren't buying this stuff from Amazon. Pharmacies get this stuff from similar, maybe even the same, sources as hospitals are getting them, and a pharmacy will probably only sell you most of this stuff to someone who's prescribed it and who has a diagnosed medical condition that requires it. Even then, disabled people usually need to jump through hoops to get our medical equipment.

And the third is something that might surprise you- mobility and assistance devices. Yes, you can get a cane from Walmart or a hospital-type wheelchair from Target, but those aren't personalized. They'll do the job but an abled person probably can't get a custom-built wheelchair as easily as someone with cerebral palsy can. This isn't saying it's easy for disabled people to get these things, it's just easier than it is for the general population. Plus, things such as a class three powerchair are thousands of dollars. If you're prescribed one, insurance might cover part of it, or you might have the option to receive these things for free from charities, or at a discounted rate, especially if you're low-income. You can buy them if you're abled, sure, but you'll have access to a better way to go about it if you're actually disabled.

Again, nothing on this list is guaranteed to be a breeze for a disabled person, but there are routes we can take that make getting them easier than it would be for an abled person who doesn't need them.

Mod Aaron

[statementlou]

Hi, to your anon who was trusting the article in The Sun, as a person who frequently gets visa renewals for the US, there are no circumstances under which you have to do a drug test to get a visa extension. The only exception I can think of is if you’re getting a green card or if you have prior drug charges (the latter might prevent you from even getting a visa at all). Additionally, unlike a toxicology report, a drug test result would be protected under HIPAA as far as I know.

thank you and if you often deal with visas it makes sense you would think this would be the same as your experiences but unfortunately everything in this ask is incorrect. First of all the person who asked that question didn't trust the Sun they just were like ugh I hope this isn't true which I want to emphasize since I actually feel quite bad about using their perfectly good ask as a platform to be mad about something they DIDN'T do I was just in a snit about smth else I'd just seen, and secondly it's well documented and pretty clearly true that Liam's visa required him to pass a medical and psychiatric evaluation due to a history of substance abuse, and the reports that he had successfully cleared all of those hurdles (including the drug testing) and was simply waiting for the paperwork to clear seem credible. Unlike the visas any of us would get, he gets a special 0-1 visa for famous people, as is mentioned in every article about this, which has different rules, which are also outlined in all of the articles which you can easily search up. Because he has a history of drug and alcohol abuse which is well documented in the public record (so probably legally equivalent to prior charges, as you mention) he had to answer yes on a question about prior substance use, which meant he then had to submit to medical and psychiatric review to get the renewal, which is why he was delayed in Argentina past the time he had been meant to leave (which is why his girlfriend Kate went ahead without him on the original schedule.) Finally, HIPAA is an USAmerican legislation which protects doctor patient confidentiality and has no bearing whatsoever on Argentinian medical files or on who gives info to tabloids.

[ellie-24]

Sooner or later

Summary: Here we go, another installment of my assistant!reader x elvis verse. This is set after Forbidden Fruit, but it can be read independently. Enjoy❤️

Word count: 3.1 k

.................................................................................

You sat on the sofa, surrounded by newspapers and tabloids, sipping your morning coffee. You waited for Jerry's arrival as the two of you wanted to go through a few details for the upcoming events and concerts. Elvis was still sleeping soundly and probably wouldn't be up until afternoon, as usual. Speaking of Elvis. After much back and forth between the two of you for weeks you had trouble keeping the mutual feelings for each other at bay. You didn't know what to call whatever it was between you two. Was is an affair? Was it a liaison? A deep mutual understanding? The beginning of a relationship? Whatever it was you decided that it was in your best interest to keep it secret from the public, even the Memphis Mafia. After all you still officially worked for him. It was difficult at times but first wanted to figure out what it was between Elvis and you.

With a sigh turned the page of the tabloid in front of you and massaged your temples. You almost couldn't bear to read it. The headlines about Elvis were getting worse and worse lately. Mean spirited articles about his private and family life, his weight gain, him slurring the words and songs on stage, forgetting his lines and appearing to be drugged out everywhere he went. Some even went so far to call him washed up and wrecked. It was truly horrible how they all allowed themselves an opinion about a man they didn't even know. They don't even know what he is going through and they can't imagine the immense pain he is suffering. Yet he still manages to get on stage and perform, like his life depended on it. In a way, it did.

 

You heard a knock on the door. This had to be Jerry. You closed the tabloid, tossed in on the table and got up. You opened the door and saw Jerry standing in front of you, smiling. "Hey Jerry, nice to see you." you said and pulled him into a brief hug. 

"Hey Y/N, how are you?"

"Ah, you know, same old." you shrugged and lead him inside. "What about you?" He simply nodded.

"Come on. Elvis is still asleep we'll sit in the living area." 

"Sounds good." he agreed and followed you. 

When you sat down you both immediately opened your notebooks and gathered the documents and schedules, wrote down important places and dates, phone numbers and contact information of hotels, performance venues and so on. As you were working through the days you realized how exhausting this whole ordeal will be for Elvis. He loved singing and performing for his audience, but under these conditions presented to you right now it was everything but healthy. He wasn't in his best shape right now, mentally and physically, and you felt bile rise up your throat at the thought of the Colonel and Dr. Nick pumping him full with medications to keep him standing. You huffed and rand a hand through your hair. 

"You alright, Y/N?" Jerry asked, noticing your discomfort. 

"Yeah.. It's just... It's a lot. He..." you trailed off with a deep breath and gestured to the wild array of sheets and papers on the table. 

"...I know. He isn't doing great, everyone can see that." he said with an equally worried expression. 

"Just...Look at this." you grabbed the newspaper you had just read off the table and tossed it over to him. 

His eyes shortly skimmed over the front page and he wordlessly looked up to you, taking in the distressed look on your face. 

"I've read a lot of this stuff as well." he muttered after a while. 

"Most of what they're writing isn't even true, or... wildly exaggerated. They don't know what they're talking about." you replied, throwing your arms in the air. "He doesn't feel good, anyone can see that, yet they continue trample on him for no reason. He is stronger than they think he is, I don't think anyone else could manage to to what he does under these circumstances." you finished your rant.

 

Jerry watched you, contemplatively. "...You're good for him, Y/N." he finally voiced.

"What?" you questioned. 

He hesitated. "Well, I mean to be honest, Y/N I didn't know what to think of you when I first met you. We all really didn't." He let out a small laugh and rubbed the back his neck. "...But you grew on us. Especially on Elvis. The last few months were hard..." You nodded nodded.  "...But you're there for him."

You laughed nervously. "...Well.. That's exactly my job isn't it?" you shrugged, shifting uncomfortably in your seat. Does he suspect something? Does he know? You knew that Elvis was terribly bad at keeping secrets.

"You're there for him in more ways than you realize I think. He speaks very often of you, Y/N. Very dearly as well. You've become very important to him. I've known Elvis for a long time and know how quickly he forms attachments, how he needs them. From what I gather when I talk to him is that you're what's keeping him up right now." 

Your tried not to choke on your coffee, feeling utterly caught. Instead you just managed smiled innocently and placed your mug on the table again. 

"Well, I'm doing my best. He needs his friends right now."

You started eating your breakfast, opting for a bit of harmless small talk before returning to more serious matters. After you finished you carefully watched Jerry and almost whispered "Jerry... Elvis... He won't stand this much longer." 

"There's nothing we can do. Elvis is a stubborn man. He won't change his ways. He's done it like this for years. He hasn't got the motivation to change anything." 

"I just wish we could help him somehow." 

"I know Y/N. But it's like you said. We just have to be there for him. That's everything we can do right now."

You looked up to him again. "...Yeah, you're right Jerry."

He put a comforting hand over yours. "Just make sure to take care of yourself as well, Y/N. You understand?"

You laugh and gathered your notes and papers. "Says you! When was the last time you took a break?"

"A what?"

You laughed again and got up with Jerry following you as you lead him outside the door. You briefly hugged each other and you watched him approach the elevator. "See you Y/N! And remember what I told you!" He waved his hand and the door of the elevator closed.

You briefly waved back at him with a "You too!" and went back inside.

Feeling the need to do something before Elvis woke up, you retrieved the newspapers and tabloids from the table before Elvis could see them. You knew it would send him into another spiral, so you quickly discarded them into to trash. Then went to the kitchen area and quickly did the dishes. Just as you were drying the last plate you suddenly felt a presence behind you. You didn't even have the time to turn around when you already felt his strong arms wrap themselves around your middle, his soft stomach firmly pressed against your back. He gently propped his chin on your shoulder and nuzzled his face against your neck, inhaling deeply. 

"Good morning, sweetheart" he drawled, running his strong hands up and down your waist. 

"Good morning to you too, darling. You're up early!" you remarked with a smile. 

"Don't blame me. I woke up all alone... and sad... and cold... I missed my best girl." he pouted and planted a quick kiss to the side of your head. 

"Sorry, but I met with Jerry and I wanted to let you sleep. I heard you tossing and turning and cussing almost until dawn... You missed Jerry by a few minutes actually." you said, placing the dry plate into the cupboard above. 

"Yeah, I heard ya." he murmured and subtly tightened his grip on your waist. "You two get along well, don't you?"

You hesitated, not really sure where he was headed with this. "...Well... we both want the same thing, you know." you shrugged. 

"And what's that?" he whispered into your ear, his hot breath tickling you slightly.

"The best for you." You turned your head and looked into his eyes. There was this swirl of emotions again that you couldn't quite make out. 

"...Hm..." he purred and you felt the rumbling of his chest against your back. "You know what would be the best thing for me now, yittle?" he murmured and placed a finger under your chin.

You raised your eyebrows at him.

He just smirked and leaned in, pressing his lips hard against yours. You let out a surprised squeal and dropped the towel you still had in your hands. He grabbed your chin with a bit more force to keep you still and stepped even closer to you, effectively trapping you between his strong body and the counter. You put a gentle hand against his soft cheek when you felt his warm tongue gliding over your lips, begging entrance. When you opened your mouth for him he moaned and let his fingers sink even further into the flesh of your hip. After a while he pulled away from you, making you mewl at the loss of contact.

His panting, the way his lips were parted, combined with his dark eyes, made you throw your head back onto his shoulder with a shuddering breath. He wasted no time and pushed your hair away from your neck, giving him free access. His lips moved across your pulse point down to your collarbone where he bit down hard, making you almost shout his name. Normally he was always very gentle with you, as if almost afraid to break you. Right now though he was marking you up roughly, surely leaving multiple hickeys all over your neck and shoulders. It was new, but you certainly weren't complaining. 

When he's had enough he placed his hands on your upper arms and quickly turned you around, making you face him. He smirked down at you when you wrapped your arms around his neck, playing with the strands of hair at the nape of his neck. You stood on your toes to meet his lips in a more gentle kiss. With an unexpected urgency he lifted you up and sat you down on the counter behind you. You let him step between your legs and pulled away from his mouth to look at him.

Now it was his turn to whimper as he felt your lips leave his. Your tender gaze was fixed entirely on his flushed face as your fingers rose to play with the strands of hair that fell over his slightly sweaty forehead. He closed his eyes and leaned into your touch with a content smile on his now swollen lips. He was so incredibly beautiful, you still couldn't believe that you sat here with him. Your mind briefly went back to the newspaper articles. They were all so very blind. 

"You're so beautiful Elvis." you hummed, a warm smile on your face.

He opened his eyes again and the raw emotion in them almost made you choke. He placed both of his hands on your cheeks, his thumbs caressing your cheekbones. "My beautiful, gorgeous, perfect, lovely, yittle Y/N." he sighed, grinning from ear to ear. You giggled and his smile widened even further, his eyes crinkling. Your laughter was music to his soul. "You're one of the most important people for me right now, you know that right, sweetheart?" his voice now sounded nearly pleading as his eyebrows furrowed a little. "Ya really are, Y/N..." he nodded to himself. He deeply looked into your eyes, as if searching for something. 

"Oh Elvis, dear, you mean so much to me as well. You are so sweet for saying that."

He lovingly smiled down at you and wrapped his arms back around your waist, holding you close to him again. With shuddering breath he slowly leaned down and buried his face against your neck, as if hiding himself from the world. "Ya gotta stay with me." he murmured and closed his eyes. He quietly started humming a tune that sounded kind of familiar, but you couldn't quite put your finger on it. 

"...Promise me, yittle."

"I promise."

As you held him, your thoughts went back to Jerry’s words. That you were pretty much what kept Elvis going at the moment. What did he tell him? What were they talking about? You still didn’t know what Elvis really felt for you, but it really seemed to go deeper for him than you originally thought. You worried that you were just a temporarily distraction for him, like most of the girls he acquainted with. You acknowledged that the things between the two of you had developed rather quickly and that he probably wasn’t in the right state of mind for such decisions. Like Jerry said, he was feeling miserable for the past few months anyway. His health, his feelings for Priscilla and Linda that still lingered, the limited time he got to see his only daughter and the betrayal of his manager make him feel lonely, abandoned and vulnerable. 

You were so wrapped up in your thoughts that you didn’t even realize he removed his hand from your waist and searched for your hand. He gently grasped it and intertwined his fingers with yours. He was still humming the tune when he raised your joined hands up next to his head and once again tightened his grip around your waist. Then he started moving his hips, lightly swaying back and forth with you. 

"What are you doing?" you asked after a while with a light chuckle. "Darling, you haven’t even had breakfast, come on."

"No!" he whined, his face still nuzzled into your neck. "I wanna dance with you." he mumbled as he continued to sway. 

You smiled and pushed yourself away from the counter to properly dance with him. 

"You’re not scared I’m gonna step on your feet?"

"Don’t worry about that sweetheart, I’m not wearing my blue suede shoes." he whispered.  

You could feel him smiling against your neck when you laughed at his joke. You resumed to playing with his hair as he pulled you along, dancing in slow circles with you. With your cheek resting on his shoulder you contemplated your own feelings for him. What you felt for him was definitely no longer the silly, starstruck crush you initially had. But it certainly couldn’t be love. You haven’t known each other long enough. Of course there was this romantic sentiment of love at first sight but you weren’t that naive anymore. It wasn’t, it couldn't be that. You had to be careful, it would just over complicate things unnecessarily. Yet, you couldn't stop, nor hide your mind’s and body’s reaction to him. The way he’d look at you, talk to you and touch you made your heart beat faster and your whole focus would shift. 

He leaned back and made you twirl around with one hand over your head. He let out a small whistle as he turned your and pulled you back against his wide chest with a small chuckle. Small gestures and moments like these made your head spin, literally. You laid your head on his shoulder and you danced through the kitchen into the living room. It really felt more like floating than dancing and your cheeks already started to hurt from grinning non stop. His moves became faster and bolder and you could barely keep up with him.

Then he suddenly stopped and after a quick kiss on your hand he made his way over to the record player. He searched through the many vinyls until he found the one he was looking for. He set down the needle and turned to you with a bit of a mischievous grin. He waggled his finger in a come hither motion while the record player was still rustling. Then when you heard the music you finally recognized the tune he was humming the entire time. It was All Shook Up, you finally registered.

You approached him, laughing, and he started swaying his hips again. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from him, his moves were utterly captivating. Despite his failing health, his real talent would never leave him. Truly Elvis the Pelvis. He grinned proudly and came closer. You didn’t really know what to do with yourself and just moved along, though a bit hesitant at first. 

"...Yeah, that’s it, sweetheart. Just let the music guide you." 

"You mean you?" you laughed, becoming a bit more confident. 

"Got a problem with that, sweetheart?"

"Not at all."

Feeling more bold you started swinging your hips as well, matching him. He raised his eyebrows in appreciation and reached out for your hands. He sang along playfully as he turned you inside and out, making you laugh. When the song ended he dramatically dipped you down, and a surprised yelp escaped your throat. You both stared at each other, chests heaving. He furrowed his eyebrows jokingly. 

"What is it, doll? Afraid I won't catch you?" he panted, his glistening face hovering inches above yours. 

"Whew! It was just a bit quick for me I guess." you managed to get out after catching your breath somewhat. He lifted you up again and pointed a teasing finger at you. 

"Hey, none of that, I'm the old man here." 

You laughed and reached out to play with his collar. "...Old man still got them moves though." you whispered and leaned up to kiss him. 

He chuckled into the kiss and lead you to the sofa to sit down for a break. You draped your legs over his lap and he ran his hand up and down your calf. The other gently grasped a strand of your hair, absentmindedly playing with it. You scooted closer laid your head on his shoulder and pressed your lips against the side of his neck. 

"I wish we could just stay like this... Here-" he gestured around "-just you and me, Y/N."

"Yeah, that would be great huh." you answered. "But... sooner or later we have to face reality, darling."

"I'm afraid you're right sweetheart... I'd rather have it be later than sooner though." he murmured as he put his arms around you in an embrace of which you weren't sure if it was meant to soothe you or himself. You both certainly needed it.

.................................................................................

[arctic-hands]

Drug hysteria is so dumb. My sleep specialist says my anxiety isn't being controlled by coping strats and that's why I can't sleep and I should be on a medication for it, but then she emphasized "not benzos!" and like my psych clinic isn't even authorized to prescribe benzos in the first place, which the receptionist repeated when I asked to schedule with my psychiatrist which I already knew because I asked for some motherfucking valium a few years ago because I had frequent panic attacks. So I'm not entirely sure what even I could be on in the first place to ease my anxiety enough to sleep at night

And like the whole basis for refusing to apply for a benzos license or whatever they need to do to be able to prescribe it is because they don't want to create or fuel a drug addiction but it's not being addicted to drugs if you genuinely need to be on a medicine to function or have an improved quality of life. Like I'm not addicted to the lamictal they're prescribing for me as a mood stabilizer even tho missing just one dose will put me in excruciating withdrawal that makes me feel like I'm dying. My friend was on cymbalta for fibro and that's known as one of the worst withdrawals in medicine but she still wasn't addicted to it just because she needed it. I frequently take high doses of prednisone for my Crohn's and withdrawal from that without tapering off could give me a heart attack–it still doesn't mean I'm addicted to steroids.

To top it all off I've never even displayed any risk factors for addiction and I've been on a fuckton of medication. Hell I'm not even addicted to coffee, I suffer no withdrawal signs at all when I stop even tho I drink obscene amounts of it. I just go back to sleeping fourteen or sixteen hours a day like I was my chronically ill ass was doing before I started drinking the stuff. And you know what? That shouldn't matter in the first place because even those with risk factors for addiction deserve to be treated for whatever medical condition they have.

And do not even get me started on being disabled and a chronic pain patient who needs opioids to have any sort of pain reduction that would improve their Q.o.L

[cyberneticatoms]

no way is that VEN WALEY..they’re a 30-year-old HUMAN notoriously known for being LOUD MOUTH & OVERAMBITIOUS but there are some people who have seen them being GENUINE & SOCIABLE. if you ask me, they remind me a lot of rust on gold, making shapes with sparklers in the dark, and happy little pills, but that could just be because they’re considered the MELANCHOLIC DREAMER around town. just keep an eye on them  &  see if their true colors shine through..

↳ 𝚀𝚄𝙸𝙲𝙺 𝙵𝙰𝙲𝚃𝚂

NAME: Ventus Golding Waley NICKNAMES: Ven, Venny (by Josh) DATE OF BIRTH: April 15th (30) HEIGHT: 6'1 AFFILIATION: The Big Three OCCUPATION: Brand Ambassador for Epsilon Labs FACECLAIM: Joshua Orpin

TW: death, car crash, forcibly medicated, depression, anxiety, gaslighting

↳ 𝙱𝙰𝙲𝙺𝙶𝚁𝙾𝚄𝙽𝙳

❖ Ven's parents died when he was 2 and his older brother Yoel was 4, they passed away due to faulty medication from Epsilon Labs. There were multiple people who tried to adopt them to cash in on the potential lawsuit. He remembers very little just that Yoel tried to keep them together and that he was scared of being separated from his older brother. ❖ While Yoel became the poster boy for health supplements, Ven became the spoke person for their new line of mental health medications due to having general anxiety disorder and depression. He struggles with guilt because everyone works so hard to help them be happy right? ❖ He isn't aware of the fact he's on high level dosage, specifically one called Bliss, that keeps him in an almost constant state of relaxation and submission ❖ When he was 8 he came out as trans, it was a huge publicity stunt over how accepting the company is about it (rainbow capitalism lives on). While the attention wasn't terrible it was still unnerving to have so many people aware of his life. ❖ He does think of Josh as his dad and has slipped up when calling him that, even feeling proud that his middle name is Josh's surname. Utena McCormick and Imogen Griffiths work as part of the PR team and security, though over the years they became like family to Yoel and Ven. ❖ When he was 26, he was in a car crash after his friend's Yag's birthday party. The medications he was on had had a bad reaction to the alcohol and drugs he'd taken while partying. Unable to emotionally regulate properly during the comedown, he crashed the car, Yag didn't make it and Ven was out for a month. ❖ Waking up he immediately asked about Asuka and Yag who had been in the car with him. Despite Josh's protests Yoel told him the truth, which Ven was unable to handle. Having a severe mental breakdown, the decision by then had already been made by Yag's father to have Yag remade and having Ven like this wouldn't work. ❖ Despite objections from all close to him, eventually Josh convinced Yoel it be better for Ven to just forget that night. After a series of drugs and forced therapy, they weren't able to make him completely forget, but they could make him remember that night differently. Asuka had been driving, and it was lucky no one had gotten seriously hurt, after all Yag wasn't dead, Ven had simply been too out of it after waking from a coma. ❖ Going against the schedule and decisions the board makes for him, now fills Ven with anxiety and dread he can't fully explain. Though he's quick to take his medication when this happens, preferring to be happy and go lucky over moody. Unknown to him, his family are working against the board to try and lower his dosage to try and free him little by little from their control.

↳ 𝙼𝙸𝚂𝙲

• Has matching card suite tattoos with Karma, Asuka and Yag. Josh did reprimand him for doing it without permission but he didn't seem too upset. Unknown to him it was just another allowance of rebellion to make sure he stays complacent.

[lunazuniga-smith]

Fashionably Late A/N: look who decided to arrive Date: Thursday, September 28th. (Also, fashionably late to post!) @detkhamani

Luna

,"And that is my get ready with me while I'm in labor!" Luna smiled at the camera of her laptop as she pulled up her maternity biker shorts and then threw herself on her and Khamani's bed. She was doing fine. Great, even. After lugging all her stuff to labor and delivery only to be told the baby isn't ready yet really did put a damper on things the night before. She spent a good amount of time yelling and punching the air, walking around, doing exercise, eating spicy foods and exhausting poor Khamani with sex that she thought it was all out of her system. Today, she'd spend the morning talking to her followers, practicing her breathing and trying to remain zen but as she laid on their bed, Luna's annoyance crept up. She gently placed her hands on her belly and sighed. "Please come out so we can meet you, baby! Mommy is so very tired and she wants sushi and a giant pillow and I promise I'll give you all the cuddles if you come out right now!" She was already post date which meant she could be induced by now but she refused to get any sort of medication. After speaking with Juniper, Luna felt this was the path she wanted to go on. The path of unmedicated birth! And that meant no induction. Everything at it's due time. And right when she was about to answer follower questions, she felt another contraction come on. "Oh my God. OH MY GOD! KHAMANI!"

Khamani

Khamani had been doing everything he could think of and was advised of him to help Luna's labor along. And while he wasn't necessarily complaining about the abundance of sex they'd been having lately, adding the day-to-day, and running around with Cannon in the backyard almost daily after he got home from school was making him physically tired. He'd already planned to start his paternity leave from the agency on Luna's due date and because they were small but effective, he'd had flexibility in his schedule.

Presently, he'd been napping on the couch after taking Cannon over to his sister's salon to hang out with her--thankful that she and Tyla offered to keep him entertained overnight. But he'd barely managed to keep his eyes shut before Luna's shouts jolted him out of his sleep. Khamani shot up and practically leapt off the couch, ran--and half slid--across the hardwood floor to their bedroom. "What is it, babe?! Is it time?? The go bag's already in my car."

Luna

She looked up at Khamani, tears in her eyes and the notifications on the computer poured in. This is not what she wanted to do on her live. "Turn it off. Tell them anything!" Luna began her breathing techniques and as she did so she whimpered softly. "It's another contraction. Should we go? I don't know what to do! If I go, they're going to drug me and I swear, I'll flick Dr. Leonard's forehead if he mentions Pitocin again!" The zen Luna hoped she'd find was slipping away from her fingers and oh, her poor husband was left dealing with her flip-flopping meltdowns. "Ok, okay...it's gone..." She took another deep breath. That one was bad. I think she's ready...call Dr. Leonard and tell him we're coming and we're not leaving until they hook me up to a monitor!"

Khamani —

Khamani, who was usually calm, cool and collected had to pause to really take in the scene. Luna was laying on the bed, clutching her belly, and her laptop and ring light were set up on the dresser just a few feet in front of their bed.  His brows furrowed, "You're recording right now?" he asked, calming a bit from his panic as he now strode over to her laptop. Seeing himself appear in the tiny rectangular window in the upper corner, Khamani thought for all of two seconds on what to say to Luna's followers before going, "Uh... show's over for now. Bye." There wasn't anything else he could think to say on the fly but he shut off the camera, ended the live stream, and then turned off the ring light so his attention was fully on Luna. After listening to her, he was about to offer her his hand for support, but the contraction subsided. "Okay. Yeah. We're gonna go. No more waiting or tricks to speed this up." He grabbed some shoes to put on and a light hoodie, and then went to Luna again, "What do you need right now? What shoes do you wanna wear on th way there?" He rubbed the back of his neck while looking around the room, "And uh... oh! Okay before we actually leave, you're one hundred percent sure on the clothes you packed for yourself and for baby girl's homecoming outfit, right?"

Luna —

"No more tricks..." She breathed in and out and watched Khamani, who was usually calm look kind of nervous. It was endearing, cute even and she flashed him a tiny smile. Before she could tell him how adorable he was in that moment, Luna felt another contraction come on and she yelled at the top of her lungs. "Ahhh!! Baby! Baby! Ohhhh...." She began her breathing exercises again and for a split-second, Luna considered texting Junipet. She did not want any drugs. She'd find a way. "I--mm hmm mm hmm it's all in there. Can you find my slides? I don't think anything else fits right now." Luna was breathing through this last contraction that felt like absolute hell ripping through her. "Khamani...no drugs, okay?" She looked up to him with pleading eyes. "I can---ahhh. I can do this...."

Khamani —

For a moment, Khamani was torn between crouching beside Luna and helping her through her contraction as best as possible, and gathering up the items needed for them to go. But he ultimately decided to go to Luna, giving her one hand to hold while his other hand rubbed firm circles along her lower back. "You've got this, babe. Keep on breathing. Just keep breathing." He heard what she said and nodded. "You got it. I'll get those, and I'll get the bag." Lifting her hand, he kissed her knuckles and once he had the opportunity to free his hand, he got up from the bed and moved quickly, less out of nervousness and more out of sheer urgency for Luna. He'd snatched up the go bag from their closet and found her slides by the foot of their bed. After plucking a lightweight hoodie for her from their closet and slinging it over his shoulder, Khamani came back to the bed, preparing to put th shos on his wife's feet. "No drugs. I hear you, babe. You've got this. Let's get your shoes on and get going." He'd help her to her feet--hell, he'd carry her to the car if need be.

Luna —

Luna was trying her hardest to put on a brave face. All she wanted was to make it back to the hospital and to not be sent back home again. It had already been hours. "Once the baby is born, I want all you can eat sushi. All of it." She continued her breathing as she got up on her feet. "And a keylime pie. Maybe Tiramisu. Maybe both." She followed Khamani out to the car, gripping his hand the moment she felt another contraction begin. "Ohhhh! Oh God, Oh God. I'm going to have this baby in the middle of San Francisco traffic, aren't I? Ohhhh!!" She breathed in and out, in and out. "Why didn't they just keep me the first time?" She felt her tears fall down her face.  "I've been in labor for a million hours!"

Khamani

"You can have whatever you want, Sunshine. You'll have more than earned it," Khamani promised, helping her to her feet after her shoes were on. He'd had the bag slung over one shoulder and her hoodie draped over it, walking with her. His hand pulsed a bit with her tight grip but he took a deep breath and said, "You've got this. You're not having the baby in the middle of traffic. Just keep breathing. We'll get there, alright?" He ducked his head to get Luna to look him in his eyes. "I've got you, alright? You and me, baby." He pecked her forehead and then opened her door to help her inside the passenger's seat. After tossing the bag in the back with the pre-installed car seat and Cannon's booster, Khamani got into the driver's seat, started up his car and carefully but vigilantly began the drive to the hospital.

Luna —

"Thank you," Luna whispered as she tried to shuffle toward the car. Sure, Khamani had to say these things to keep her comfortable but Luna was too busy thinking about the  possibility of having this baby in the middle of traffic. When he stopped to look at her in the eyes, she gently pressed her forehead against his and nodded. That's what did it. She needed his calm, his patience, his perfect disposition. Khamani was the best partner she could ever ask for. "You and me." She sighed and climbed into the car with his help. She leaned back a little, placing her phone on her belly and still in awe at how much the baby had dropped over the last couple of days. She was huge. She didn't feel this huge at their shower. "Baby girl, I'm going to need you to help mommy and daddy convince labor and delivery to take me this time, okay? So, give it your all. Don't hold back!" She looked over to Khamani when he climbed in. "I think she likes it in there way too much."

Khamani —

While Khamani drove, he offered his free hand to Luna and listened to her talk to their baby. He'd chuckled a bit and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "What's not to like? She gets fed, housed and soothed by your voice on a regular basis." He was thankful the traffic wasn't too congested this time of day and that they didn't live terribly far from the hospital. It was the traffic lights that mostly held them up. Each time they reached a red light, he looked over to Luna to make sure she was still breathing steadily and then his eyes went back to the road in time for the green light. "Almost there, babe," he promised. And sure enough, when they arrived at the hospital, he parked as close to the entrance as possible and grabbed the go bag from the back seat before coming around to the passenger's side to help Luna out. "We're not going home with just the two of us. They're not sending us back home, alright?" He leaned in and kissed Luna's temple and then prepared to walk with her inside so they could head up to Labor and Delivery.

Luna —

She had two contractions in the car but nothing too painful or too out of the ordinary. She had been dealing with Braxton Hicks since before her due date and at the rate she was going, they were pale in comparison to the ones she had before leaving the house. Luna was starting to believe maybe this was a false alarm too. Khamani's reassuring words were like music to her ears. Even with her erratic demands, he still made her feel like she was on top of the world. "Alright. I believe you." She did. There was nothing that would take that away from her. And as they got into the elevator, she felt a contraction come on, more painful than the ones at home and she felt everything differently this time. "Ohhhh!! Khamani!" She grabbed on to her belly and as soon as the ding of the elevator went off, she was begging for a wheelchair.  "Ahhh!!! I'm in labor! I've been in labor for too long and I swear if I don't get a bed, I'm going to have this baby on this AHHHH nursing station!" she began to breathe in and out.

Khamani —

"Yeah, babe?" Khamani replied, trying to keep his voice level, even though he'd been alert and watching the way Luna clutched her rounded tummy. The more he stared at her, the more he was doubting that she'd be able to walk off. Hell, he'd carry her if he had to. He could do it without issue. But Luna's cries about being in labor and getting a bed were enough to grab attention at the nurse's station. A couple of them jumped into action with one hurrying around the counter to bring one of the wheelchairs to them while another grabbed a clipboard. Apparently it was a slow night on the L&D floor which suited Khamani. He helped ease Luna into the wheelchair while answering questions that one of the nurses began asking--the questions he could answer anyway. But he could sense that the nurse was about to turn a set of questions onto Luna and, if her expression was any indication, she wasn't in any position to answer them at the moment. "Uh, lemme stop you right thre for a sec," Khamani said as the one nurse wheeled Luna off the elevator and towards a vacant room. Khamani followed with the second nurse making hurried strides to keep up. "I'm not in the business of telling other folks how to do their job, she's having a contraction right now. So if you could save your questions for when she's not in the middle of one, you're gonna get better answers."

Luna —

,,Luna was so grateful for Khamani. She truly didn't know what she'd do without him and as time went on, the reality of all of this was finally setting in. She was happy for the wheelchair, even happier that this big contraction was subsiding and for a split second, she almost begged for pain medications but she knew she still had time. If worse came to worse, she'd ask for them or she'd give Khamani the signal.

"Right. Apologies. Contractions are less far apart than when she was here earlier, it seems. We're going to hook her up to a monitor. I'll page Dr. Leonard." The nurse that had been talking to Khamani seemed to be the most steady of them all and Luna breathed as she felt the next contraction begin. "Hi Luna! I'm Nurse Maggie and we're going to get you started. This monitor over here is going to be your best friend, it's going to let us know how baby girl is doing, okay?" After Luna was settled on her bed, the other nurses assisted in changing her behind a closed curtain with Khamani's assistance. Maggie then moved to hold on to Luna's hand as the contraction set in. "Oh that's a big one. Okay, Dad, come over here, take her hand for me." The nurse walked over to the computer in the room and began to open Luna's chart. "Non-medicated birth." She whispered and then looked over her shoulder to keep an eye on Luna. "Okay, sweetheart. I really think if you're going to want medications, now is the time. It's my job to walk you both through this. Just keep breathing and let me know what the two of you decide." She looked over to the monitor. "Baby is doing great."

Luna felt the hot tears falling down her cheeks as she continued her breathing exercises. "Why isn't he here yet?" Meaning the doctor. She squeezed her husband's hand. "Text---ohhhh! Ahh! ok-ok. Text Juni. How did they do this?! TWICE!?! And Celeste looks like a goddess!!! AND I KNOW SEBTONY DIDN'T HAVE THOSE BABIES BUT THEY HAVE THREE AND SOMEHOW THEY LOOK LIKE SUPERMODELS!" she began to really cry this time and Nurse Maggie flashed a gentle smile to the couple.

Khamani —

"That's how this is all supposed to go, right?" Khamani asked a little rhetorically when he heard the nurse compare Luna's contractions now to earlier. Neither of them had been happy that she was sent home the first time but they followed orders and left. This time though, Khamani was going to advocate for his wife and daughter. He stayed by Luna's side as much as possible and helped the nurses with changing her out of her clothes and into a hospital gown. Once she was settled on the bed and strapped to the monitors, he heard the nurse ask about medication. Holding Luna's hand, he looked in her eyes and goddammit if he didn't hate seeing her in so much agony.

He was just about to open his mouth and see if Luna had changed her mind when she told him to text their friend, and then continued with their outburst." Khamani froze through it, free hand bumping his cellphone in his sweats pocket, brows raised slightly. Did she just ask about Sebastián and Antony..? Supermodels? Out loud, Khamani composed himself and said, "Babe, everybody's different, okay? Everybody. If you wanna have medication, it's ok. Kendra did when she had Tyla. I dunno what Celeste did but you get to do this in whatever way's gonna be best for you okay?" He brushed some rebellious strands of hair from her face and then kissed her forehead. "You and me, babe. I'm right here for my goddess."

Luna —

"I love you." Luna cried to her husband as she continued breathing. "It's okay--" She breathed in and out. " we have time." Of course they had time, last they checked the baby wasn't budging, she was happily tucked in there and Luna was doing great, they still had time.  They had tons of-- "AHHHH! OH GOD. WHERE'S DOCTOR LEONARD? WHERE IS? I CAN'T DO THIS! I can't do this! Why'd you do this to me?!" She looked up at Khamani and the nurse tried to hide her smile.

"Deep breaths, you two. You both got it!" The nurse tried to soothe Luna but she was screaming through the pain. "Luna, honey Are you sure you don't want any..."

"GIVE ME THE DRUGS!" Luna squeezed Khamani's hand with all her might.

"Hello, hello! It's my favorite patient!" Dr. Leonard walked in and Luna shot daggers at him. "Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, I've been keeping up with her monitoring and she seems to be doing--" the doctor took a peek at Luna's monitor. "Uh-Maggie My patient is asking for drugs. Get the epidural in.  That baby is coming before we know it. Luna, we've already gone through this and how it works we just have to do it a bit quicker. This is going to kick in 15 minutes and then we're going to have to really push, okay?" He looked up at Khamani. "I'm sorry, I thought we had a lot more time."

Khamani —

Khamani offered Luna a gentle but encouraging smile and kept his hand in hers. When she hollered again, he braced himself for her grip tightening and then jerked his chin back, eyes widening a fraction when she rounded on him as the fault for her current state. For a second, he considered answering her but a split second of better thinking kept him from losing his head from the rest of his body.

His wife's decision to be medicated through the rest of the labor caught Khamani by surprise but the last thing he was going to do at that moment was question her certainly.  She looked like she was in the worst pain of her life and who the hell was he to question that?

"Whatever you want, babe. As soon as we can, we'll get it for you." But he didn't know he'd made that promise prematurely at the time. Listening to Dr. Leonard, his briws furrowed. "Wait, what? What are you saying?" He asked. "We had a lot of time a few minutes ago. Is it really time for her to push now?"

Luna —

Once the epidural was on, Luna couldn't help the tears falling down her face. "Why did I think I could do this?" She shook her head and held on to Khamani. "It might be too late for the drugs now." Dr. Leonard had the room prepped for delivery as quickly as possible, dreading facing his patient and her spouse now that their timeline had changed. "I'm so sorry, Khamani. I don't know where we went wrong. She probably should have been triaged hours ago. There's a slight possibility the medications won't kick in fast enough but Luna, we're here for you and we're going to have a safe delivery!" he waited for the nurse to help Luna up in a sitting position. Luna looked up at her husband. "I'm so scared." It was the first time she had admitted that to him. She had a whole life in her hands. "I'm so---ahhhh! Ohhh! Oh no, no no no no " Luna extended her free hand and Maggie the nurse ran to take it so she can squeeze it.

"Okay, we're going to start pushing, Luna. I need you to really push for us, okay?"

Khamani —

"Because you can do this," Khamani told her, looking right into his wife's eyes. He tried not to show his upset towards Dr. Leonard at the mention of Luna needing to be triaged hours ago a day the fact that they had already been up at the hospital before only to be sent back home. He kept one hand in Luna's and brought the other up to  brush some rebellious strands of hair from her face. He leaned close to whisper just above her ear, "You can do this, Sunshine. I know you're in a lot of pain right now but you're gonna be able to get through this and bring our little girl into this world."

He kissed the side of her head twice and then leaned back to look her in her eyes again when it came time for her to push.

Luna —

She couldn't do this without him and Luna knew in that moment exactly what she needed to do. She needed to focus on him and only him.  She wasn't going to think about anyone else in the room. If she concentrated on Khamani, Luna would have nothing to be scared of because he was her rock and she was his. She nodded, keeping her breathing paced just like she had learned and then she pushed, letting out the biggest scream all the while squeezing both hands she was holding on to.

"That's good, Luna! I'm going to need you to push just like that!"

She nodded, tears stinging her eyes and Luna was determined. Another push and her yells could probably be heard down the hall. "Oh my God!" Luna continued her breathing before pushing again.

"She's crowning! Almost there, Luna!"

Khamani —

Khamani kept his eyes locked on Luna the entire time, matching her breaths as much as possible without huffing in her face. "Good job, babe! You're doing it! Wonder Woman, babe!" Khamani complimented through her screams and yells, keeping an even but determined tone. He wiped the tears from one side of her face with his free hand and kept his eyes on her. Seeing her in so much pain felt like his heart being used as a pincushion. But his pain was nothing compared to what Luna was going through, he knew that.

Hearing the update over his shoulder nearly tempted Khamani to look but he thought better of it, very, very quickly and said, "You're  almost done, Sunshine and then we'll get to meet her. Just a little more and then you're done." He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze and said, "You got this!"

Luna —

Luna began to sob. The pain was numbing at this point. It was her husband's encouraging words that had brought her to tears. They really were a team and she loved him so much. She locked eyes with him and then squeezed both his and Maggie's hand tight She wished Kendra was here or her mother or Luz but she was happy that Khamani was there with her. With all the strength she could muster, Luna pushed hard, yelling through the pain and almost falling back from the exhaustion until ...

"It's a girl!" The cries from her daughter filled the room and Luna felt her entire body shake from how fragile she was. "is he---is she ok? ten fingers, ten toes..." Luna laid back gently, searching Khamani's face for a response.

"Mr. Smith, would you like to do the honors?" The nurse reached for the scissor and handed it to Khamani.

Khamani —

Seeing Luna cry made his broad shoulders fall. He was fighting the pin prices in his chest and the upset  simmering in his head that it could have been eased were they here sooner or not sent away before. But neither of them could change that now. "Stay with me, Luna," Khamani  gently encouraged, prepared to lean forward and start rubbing her back.

But he didn't have the chance before their little girl entered the world and announced her presence without question. He broke eye contact so he could look and see their newborn daughter whom they laid on Luna's  belly while wiping her back. Khamani gazed in awe and then smiled to his wife. He leaned in and kissed Luna's forehead and cheek. "She's okay. All her hands, feet, fingers and toes. You did it, Sunshine. You did it." He squeezed her hand and gave her one more kiss, this time full on her lips and then gently released her hand for the first time since they got going with the labor.

Flexing and relaxing his fingers a few times, he nodded to nurse, "Yeah," he replied, feeling the word get a little choked up in his throat. He accepted the scissors and followed the instructions on where to cut the cord. And then smiled all over again as nurse Maggie carried their little girl to a nearby area to finish cleaning her up and swaddling her. Khamani set his sights back to Luna, "You did such a good job, babe. Damn, I'm so proud of you. You ready to meet our little troublemaker?"

Luna —

Focusing only on her husband , his encouragement, the way he kept his breathing paired with hers, Luna felt safe. When she heard the cries of their baby girl, her entire body collapsed. It was as if she had been waiting for this moment forever.

Luna felt her tears of joy fall down her cheeks as she watched her husband tend to their baby girl. She fought back a few giggles that became muffled with her quiet cries and then smiled widely when Khamani told her she had done such a good job.  “I love you so much. I couldn’t have done this without you.” All the grief and upset she had felt just moments ago was now gone. The only thing that mattered was that their daughter was healthy. Nodding her head in response to Khamani’s question, Luna looked ove to the nurse that was holding their bundle of joy. “Hey, baby girl. Fashionably late like your mommy, huh?” She waited eagerly for the newborn to be placed in her arms.

Khamani —

With his eyes still on the nurses tending to their daughter, Khamani dropped another kiss to the top of Luna's head and told her, "I love you too." He smiled a bit, believing that she would have powered through the labor of birthing their daughter no matter what, but he was thankful that they never had to know anything different than the two of them being together through the arrival of their daughter.

He watched as the nurse brought their newborn back over to her parents and placed the tiny bundle of baby into Luna's waiting arms. Reaching in his back pocket, Khamani took out his phone to capture photos of the moment from Luna's side. Two of the most important people in his life were finally getting to meet after months of waiting. "Beautiful like her mommy too," Khamani quietly added, locking his phone and sliding it back into his pocket. "Hey, baby girl," he added with a gentleness to his voice and a bright smile stretched on his lips.

Luna —

She was the perfect mix of the two of them and as her daughter was placed into her arms, Luna felt the tears form once more. “Hi baby… oh my gosh you’re so tiny!” She was six pounds, nine ounces, 19 inches but to Luna, her daughter was a little nugget. “I love you so much, peanut. Welcome to the world. Everyone’s been waiting so patiently. Especially me and daddy.” Luna slipped her finger into her daughter’s tiny grasp. “I love you so much. We’re going to protect you and love you and shower you with kisses and take you to comic cons and probably annoy you too…” Luna smiled.

She looked up at Khamani who was sitting behind them and smiled. “We have two of the most beautiful kids. My little family. “. She couldn’t wait for Cannon to meet his sister.

Dr. Leonard had taken a moment to clean up and came back to check in on the couple and their newborn, letting them know the baby was great and Luna had done an amazing job.

He shook Khamani’s hand and nurse Maggie congratulated them once more. Dr. Leonard then asked, “So, does the little one have a name?”

The corner of Luna’s lips curled upwards into a tired but bright smile as she looked at her daughter and then her husband. “Go ahead baby.”

Khamani —

"That patience wasn't easy though," Khamani  added and soaked up the priceless moment between Luna and their daughter. He gave a small, breathy chuckle at the last couple of things Luna listed to their newborn. While gazing down at her and their baby girl, he leaned his hip a bit against the side of the bed. "Yeah we do. No arguments here," he agreed about their family. In a little more than a year's time, he'd become a father of two with his and Luna's family doubling. He loved the team that they were and didn't have the words for looking forward to this next chapter.

With Dr. Leonard and her team finishing the clean-up in the delivery room, Khamani met her outstretched hand and thanked her, along with nurse Maggie. He knew things could have gone differently had he and Luna been there sooner rather than being turned away, but hearing that their daughter was okay and healthy, and seeing that Luna seemed to be just as okay and healthy quelled his urge to address it. At the question about their daughter's name, Khamani was fully prepared to let his wife share the name; she'd had a closer relationship with the doctor and she'd done the hard work. But she encouraged him to do and so he gently lifted a bent index finger and ran it across their little girl's velvet-soft cherub cheek. "Her name's Ximena Citlali Smith." And almost as if on cue, in her slumbering state, little XImena's tiny bow-shaped lips twitched into a brief smile.

[lovelylovelyartist]

This will come out a little rambly, so I'm sorry ahead of time, but I had some thoughts and I just want to get it out.

I was 13 when I first started adhd drugs. At that time I was a depressed kid, who didn't know where she belonged or why she was so awkward and weird. She didn't know about bisexuality, and it'd be almost 10 years until she met other people that didn't feel like a guy or a girl, and that she was they, not she. She also didn't know that OTHER people had trouble keeping schedules, doing their homework, staying still in classes, doing chores at home, breaking focus when something really had her attention. She'd been told by teachers and parents most of her life that it was a moral failing, that "I forgot isn't an excuse, because if you really cared about it you'd remember." (if you ever want to see an adult Max cry, here's how).

That depressed kid tried Riddalin.

And Hated it. With every fiber of their being.

It made me feel slowed down. It made me feel like a muted version of myself. It made me feel like I could be shuffled to the back of the classroom, and I'd be a good little kid that can put up and shut up now. It made me feel less in general. I was lucky enough to have a mom that let me drop it, despite her saying in retrospect that I was doing well in school and at home.

Fast forward about 10 years. I'm in my early twenties. I've realized a lot of things about myself, and have a better picture of who i want to be. I've started seeing a psychologist, who pegs me for ADHD the second I've walked in (20 minutes late, crying because I'm so ashamed, fidgeting up a storm). Over the next couple months we go through rigmarole getting a proper diagnosis, preparing a case file, etc, so that I might try medication again. I'm leery, because of last time, but I do.

And pretty much the first time I take it, it feels like putting on clean glasses after having blurry vision for my whole life.

It's the same medication, more or less. It's on a person 10 years older, who now actually WANTS to exist (Most of the time), and whose symptoms and presentation has changed so they WANT the chatter and unending racing thoughts to calm the hell down, and whose gone through hormonal and mental changes that 13 year old Max hadn't yet. But this time, something feels different.

There's more to this story, about how fucking awful I felt and how I had the question of "How the hell did I LIVE like this before?!" when I could no longer get medication due to supply order issues, but this feels too long as it is. Long story short, doc changed medications around so we have a temporary solution while the supply chain evens out, and now that I have medication again, it's the same goddamn feeling. I feel like I'm driving in the drivers seat, not trying to drive from the back seat. I can do stuff I want to do again. I don't feel like I'm going to crash my car.

What Ive taken forever to actually say is not everything will work for you at every point in your life. Bodies change. Brains change. Hormones change. Sometimes what didn't work for you in the past might work for you now that youre in a different place and time and body. Sometimes, it's not a bad thing to try something again.

(Barring the stuff that yknow, actually almost killed you. don't be willing to try that again maybe)

[getrektfools]

vent, kind of fatshaming, super long

so there are now TWO morbidly obese members of my family I'm aware of who have prescribed wegovy or ozempic. you can ONLY be prescribed these drugs once you are clinically obese. obviously they need the help but please explain to me why my brother - unemployed, literally sits on the couch playing video games all day (10+ hours a day!!!) gets to just get a shot to melt the weight off. when i hit the overweight threshold and wanted to stop gaining/drop back into a normal weight, all i get told is to monitor my calories more closely. the weight gain already had me flirting with relapse, then i find out the heaviest in my family are getting drugs thrown at them to drop weight and I'm being told "just keep an eye on your calorie count". The guy you just prescribed weight loss drugs to? He ate an ENTIRE FAMILY SIZE BAG OF CHIPS on top of his actual meals!! Plus ice cream before bed! All in the same day!! Only got up to go from couch to bathroom or couch to kitchen. But I, 3 lbs overweight, runner, regular gym goer, recently recovered anorexic, better just work harder.

when my mom told me her doctor was starting her on ozempic I said "god i wish i could get on it just long enough to lose 8 pounds or so" and she tells me "oh there are other things you should try first" so why don't these obese fucks try those other things? like you weren't screaming yelling at me in the hospital because you were so angry at me for doing this to myself. i am extremely capable of those "other things." I am probably TOO capable of those "other things." Those "other things" are addictive to me.

during this conversation, she's eating a double serving of fruit dumplings with literally a quarter cup of sugar in her coffee. two or three cups every morning. she could just swap for diet sweetener and cut out 400-600 cals a day! a pound a week in just the sugar in her morning coffee!!! when she visits me she just sits on my couch watching movies. i'll plan activities but inevitably it's too hot out, too windy out, too far away. can't we just order in from that restaurant she likes and rent a movie? there's an awesome park with several restaurants .8 mile from my house, i like to walk there and pick up lunch from a restaurant and picnic by the pond when weather and schedule allow. can't do that with my mom, she gets completely out of breath and her knees hurt. we have to drive. not even a mile and we have to drive. shared fitbit data with my sister for a while (also fat but nowhere near mom or baby brother), and she was averaging only 800 steps a day! a day!

obviously its better for society at large to have fitter citizenry, and i want my family to be healthier, but. feels like they are being rewarded for their absolute lack of self control. Eat yourself into three of you? Here's a shot to burn fat. Can't expect you to put down the chips! Meanwhile the rest of us who have actually exercised self control (too much self control in ana/mia cases) throughout our lives get told "no shortcuts! work harder! you don't get help!"

i know it isn't rational but this is how i feel. i am glad they are getting medical support to lose weight, because i want them to be around for a long time. i want to be able to walk to the park with my family. i want them to have the energy and ability to do things beside sit on the couch. i want them to be able to play volleyball with me or actually SWIM when we go to the beach. I want them to be able to take their dogs on regular, good length walks!

also obviously i am tempted to try and steal few pens of the wegovy but i won't do that to him. i can lose weight on my own. but god is it tempting. he's almost definitely not going to follow any diet recommended or increase his activity level, so its kind of like, a waste of perfectly useful medication isn't it? maybe he'll surprise me. maybe this is the boost he needs to start taking care of himself a little better. small changes add up, after all.

in a sick way this is motivating me to push myself even harder - lose more weight , faster. prove i don't need it.

[cocklessboy]

Finding the right meds or combination of ADHD meds can be one hell of a journey.

First my psychiatrist had me try Atomoxetine (an SNRI) but I had psychotic side effects so we had to ditch that.

Then we tried Ritalin. It helped, but I got loads of side effects. It made my heart race, made me dizzy and jittery, made my sensory issues worse, gave me acid reflux, and even increased my sex drive to problematic levels (which is not a normal side effect and may have been a strange interaction with my HRT).

Those are basically the only ADHD meds available in this country (no, we don't have Adderall or any of those other ones here), with one caveat: the active ingredient in Ritalin (Methylphenidate) is available in a slow-release form called Concerta. Instead of taking it twice a day and it being out of your system in 4-6 hours, you take it once in the morning and it lasts up to 12 hours, gradually releasing the drug into your system.

Even though it's the same chemical, the slow-release version worked like a dream. Basically no side effects aside from increased acid reflux (which I already take medication for), and it's pretty effective. Basically life-changing! The problem? It wears off around 8 pm.

I don't go to bed until like 1:30.

So for 5+ hours each night I'd be unmedicated and miserable. Unable to work, unable to do anything really, and also unable to keep track of time or switch tasks, so I never managed to get to bed at a reasonable hour.

I described this to my psychiatrist and he suggested that around 8, when the Concerta is wearing off, I can take half a tablet (just 5 mg) of Ritalin. It's not enough to cause side effects, but combined with whatever remains in my system of the Concerta, it should be enough to keep me functional until bed time - and make it easier to turn off the computer and go to bed.

I've been doing this for several days and... it's working. No major side effects, and I get a bonus 4-5 hours of actual real life functional time in my day, plus I'm able to watch the clock and shut down the computer and head to bed at the right time, which is helping me fix my sleep schedule overall (which had been a real nightmare for ages).

Finding the right meds or combination of meds for ADHD or for any other health problem (physical, neurological, or psychological) can take a lot of time and trial and error. But it is worth it. If you find yourself feeling frustrated because everything you try isn't working, don't give up. While it is true that some problems just don't have a solution, it is worth keeping at it for as long as you can.

I feel like this whole process has been a great lesson in not giving in to despair when things don't work out right away. I still have a lot of other health issues that don't have solutions yet, and it's easy to feel hopeless, but there are still more options to try. And maybe the next one will finally do the trick.

And if there's anyone out there trying to push you away from medication that helps you, because they think of medication as inherently bad, or because they think the side effects can't be worth it, ignore them. They are wrong. Finding the right medication for a chronic health problem or disability can change your entire life. Do not ever let anyone shame you out of being as happy and healthy as you can possibly be.