#and the mechanic is kinda screwing me around and not doing anything

[jimmyfury]

I would just like a break from being so stressed out it causes physical ailments like why is that too much to ask for?

[ynbabe]

Fake texts au- pt.14 bffs with the rookies+ Halloween is sacred

Okay so even though Y/n is kinda sorta related to Fernando and is a Brit, there are no descriptions on readers race, characteristics or anything that takes away from Y/n being Y/n, and i'll try and keep the pics as faceless as possible. Love yall. Mwuah 🥰

| Masterlist |

October 31st, Halloween, the only day of the year that mattered, screw birthdays and screw anniversaries, Halloween was where it was.

That is exactly why you had forced your friends to change significant aspects of their physical appearance.

"Stop, whining," You scolded Logan as he kept hissing as you pulled at his hair, trying to brush it back into a small ponytail. You had a vision, you see, while on Tumblr with Arthur on your stream a few months ago, you had witnessed the greatest post ever.

Okay maybe not the greatest but it was pretty close.

The post showed all the drivers and the character the most looked like and when you saw Logan being compared to Anakin Skywalker, you knew you had to tell all the barbers he went to blacklist him.

That boy was going to grow his hair, whether he liked it or not, and he didn't like it, but he also didn't have to tie up his hair every day, so really it should have been you complaining.

"You are so lucky to have me," I smacked his head, as he shook his head, making all the hair fall out of my fist, it wasn't long enough to manoeuvre into a ponytail properly but Logan had refused to wear a headband, saying 'it hurt'.

"Bruv, if you keep movin' your damn head, imma smash it in with my knees," You yelled once again, your British accent thickening making him laugh and throw his head back to look up at you.

"Okay, I'll go cut my hair then," He shrugged looking straight at you.

"Noooooo," I whined and got back to working on his hair as he finally let me work on it instead of wriggling around.

We were sitting in his driver's room, he was sitting crisscross on the floor and you sat on his bed, letting your legs rest leaning on his shoulders. There was some random song playing in the background and you were finally able to struggle his beautiful blond waves into a itty-bitty ponytail.

"Fuckin finally, mate," I made him turn around and looked at him, Tada!" I smiled at my masterpiece, he looked amazing, I couldn't help but keep looking at him, how could eyes be so blue?

"Uh- Am I interrupting something?" Alex called out, breaking me out of whatever was happening, I really had to start sleeping more.

"N-no, Do we need to go?" Logan stuttered.

"Yeah..." He said, still looking at both of us with a weird expression on his face.

Logan walked out soon after grabbing a few things around his room.

.xXLogan's P.O.VXx.

"You are horrible, bro," Alex said as soon as I shut the door, "Down bad,"

"Wait, wait, what are you talking about?" I asked him confused, making him laugh.

"You can't be that oblivious, mate," He stopped in front of me, shaking me by the shoulders, "You literally have heart eyes whenever you are with her-" He stated, was he crazy?

"Dude, what the hell are you talking about?" I tried not to be annoyed by what he was saying.

"Also when anyone speaks of her, or when you're looking at her or when you get her texts, which is all the time by the way," He rambled.

I tried to say something back but I got a text from Y/n, "Oh my GOD!" He yelled, laughing, "Do you have a separate ringtone for her?" he asked making my face feel warm.

"I don't like her okay?" I said, trying to change the conversation, beginning to walk again.

"Mate, you grew out your hair for her, you make her tie your hair every day even when you don't need to tie it, the tie's already fallen out!" He screamed yanking a strand of my hair, making me wince, and alerting a mechanic who was walking by.

We sheepishly waved at the man, finally reaching where James' was waiting for us, thankfully ending the conversation once and for all.

.xXY/n's P.O.VXx.

You could hear Alex screaming vaguely in the hallways but you chose to ignore the fellow Brit, right now, you had very little time to get to your next destination- Mclaren, and your next victim, Oscar or as the post had decided- Peter Parker.

Well the post had said Spider-man for both Oscar and Lando, calling out the weird twin-like situation they had going on, but Lando had refused every bribe and blackmail you could manage, stating he and Carlos had already planned something, so made Oscar grow out his hair, yes you were the leader of the men with long hair agenda, so what?

"Oscarrrr, hiii!" You yelled as you jumped next to him as he lounged on his bed, scrolling on his phone, he moved so I could see his for you page as well.

"Oh, he's proper fit, isn't he?" I said, making him cringe.

"Who- MICK SCHUMACHER?" He yelled, making me jump up and try to shut him up, these walls were thin man, way too thin to be yelling like this, "WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND BLONDES-" He continued but I used his pillow to stop him, but it was already too late.

"Ooooh- who do we like?" Lando ran in, this happens every time!

"NO ONE," I would say no one,

"MICK," someone would say whom and then Lando would somehow get the message to them, how did I know?

"Niceee, is this the Gavi situation again?" He teased, wriggling his eyebrows, that was a very awkward, Instagram conversation which made you almost run the Brit over with his own car, hey but atleast you'd gotten new friends over it.

"No, it's not- not another word, Piastri," I smacked him with the pillow.

"Okay, anyways, we gotta leave," Lando spoke, beckoning Oscar to leave.

"Okay, but Oscar you know what you have to do right?" I asked, making sure everything was set for the party on the 31st.

"Yes, y/n," he assured me before leaving with Lando. It was only the Free Practices so I was only on Paddock to skip uni.

I face-timed Arthur, who was currently busy with his F2 work but would be coming to the party as well, I had planned his costume too, making him grow his hair out and make him dress up as Flyn Rider, and he had decided to darken his hair, out of his own volition, totally not me begging, crying and complaining to Lorenzo about it.

It had been an hour since we got on call but I had to leave once I got a message from an unknown number.

You brainstormed for more than half an hour about Halloween costumes with someone you knew for the same amount of time.

You both finally landed on Stu Macher (For the obvious similarities in their names) but you were still unsure about what you would go as. He had suggested Tatum but it seemed too simple of a costume for being the host of the party.

Happy with his choice, you both finally got off chat.

You kept thinking about what you could go as but nothing came to mind, You could go as Rapunzel, or Padme or Gwen or even Tatum, but it just didn't feel right...

You knew the drivers had a break right now, so you texted the one person you always went to for advice.

"tío!! Cómo estás??" (Uncle! How are you?) I spoke into the phone.

"Que hiciste ahora?" (What did you do now?) His voice came through and I could hear him sigh at the end.

"NOTHING!" You defended, quite offended at the insinuation that you always got into trouble. Well you did, but you wouldn't get caught so easily!

"Kiddo, the last time you said that, you lost your licence," He countered, why did he always have to make a point?

"Okay, totally ignoring your valid point, what should I be for Halloween?"

"Esto... es por eso que me llamaste?" (This… is this why you called me?), he asked in disbelief.

"Well, it's my party, oldie, i'm not gonna be boring!" I sighed, if he couldn't help no one could.

"You are crazy, you know? Sorry, Diabla, I have to go, you'll figure it out," he reassured me but as I listened to what he said for maybe the first time in my life.

The party was going to be fucking ace.

The weekend ended sooner than you could imagine and it was finally time for the party, it was a local club it was private but not exclusive and a lot more people showed up than you imagined.

Logan looked amazing as Anakin, you'd also convinced him to braid in extentions to make it more like a cosplay than a costume and man, did it look good.

Arthur looked so much like Flynn Rider you had to do multiple double takes, how that man was still single was beyond you.

Oscar was the perfect Peter Parker, the muscles he'd bulit cause of F1 made the costume look much more belivable.

Lando, Carlos, Charles, Max, George, Alex, Esteban, Lance, Zhou and many others were there too, you'd spoken to them for a few minutes before they paired off with one and other and lost themsleves to the music and alcohol.

You were a little tipsy too, but you were still waiting for Mick.

You were adjusting the horns on your head, when you felt someone tap you, "Hello, Sidney," A rough voice called out making your skin crawl and immediately turn to the source.

“Oh my god! You scared me mate,” you hugged him.

“I’m sorry but it was just so tempting,” he laughed as you passed him a beer.

“Glad you could make it, Mick,” you smiled at the man in front of you, leaning in to hear each other over the loud music, “Nice costume you got there,” you remarked, he was wearing a compression shirt and black pants and had a ghost face mask on.

“Yeah, I know right? Came up with it all by myself,” he smirked making you smack him in the arms.

“Yeah yeah, come on, let’s go meet the others and get the party started!” You yelled pulling him along to meet the rookies.

You waited at the booth for the other three to show up, “Your costume is amazing, by the way,” he complimented, making your face feel warm.

“Thank you, people say I’m the devil so often, thought it’d be fit,” you laughed, twirling to show your She-Devil costume.

“Yeah, I saw the comments, people can be so stupid,” he shared.

“Right? I mean-” you began but were interrupted by Logan and Arthur running up to the two of you with Oscar trailing behind with a plate for of shots.

“WOOH LETS FUCKING GOOO!” You yelled, passing out shots to your little group of five, starting the night off with a bang.

its_y/n_love

liked by 172,023 users

Tagged: @/arthur_leclerc @/logansargeant @/oscarpiastri @/mickschumacher @/landonorris @/georgerussell @/lancestroll @/estebanocon @/maxverstappen @/charles_leclerc @/zhougyanyu @/yukitsunoda @/pierregasly @/nyckdevries @/danielricciardo @/carlossainz

its_y/n_love HALLOWEEN 23' yall are so welcome for long hair lolo, osc and Princie! Also everyone say hi Micky!!

view all 10,874 comments

username MOTHERR IS MOTHERINGGG I FEAR

username Literally all the drivers were there girly pop is living her life!

username everyone say thank you y/n for getting our pookies to grow their hair 🤭🤭🤭

username frfr Logan as anakin making we wanna get a green card 😫

username IS THAT ARTHUR WITG THE REDBULLS????

Its_y/n_love He pre-gamed so hard he forgot which side he played for 💀 Arthur_leclerc You literally only had redbulls?? don't try to be charlies favourite it wont work 🙄 Its_y/n_love oh PUH-LEASE 🙄 I'm already his favourite and Lorenzo's too cry abt it 😘 Arthur_leclerc I'm getting nando🔪 Username chat?? is this real?

username MICK!?!?! EXCUSE ME WHILE I BARK

username FORGET HIM LOOK AT Y/N!! MA'AM DO YOU NEED A DOG, A MAID, A CLOWN? username now I know y'all not ignoring oscar spiderman piastri and Arthur freaking prince eugene Leclerc

username how'd she get her paws on Mick Schumacher??? Run man run!

username fr the manipulation this chick does must be fucking studied 😭 username omg i know its halloween but will y'all get over dead shit? username why yall so jealous man??? username KEEP MY WIFES NAME OUT OF YOUR DAMN MOUTH

Username THE NICKNAMES 😭😭😭 I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOR

Is it anywhere near halloween? nope, do I care abt the timeline, also nope. hope yall liked this one!!!

Taglist: @dark-night-sky-99 @cashtons-wife @i-wish-this-was-me @thehufflepuffavenger1 @eugene-emt-roe @fangirl-dot-com @landosgirlxoxo @aquangxl @sachaa-ff @tyna-19 @assholeinatrenchcoat @allenajade-ite @megatrilss1885 @squirreljoe

[tempe-brennans]

you got a fast car

authors note: this is probably weird? it's mainly like. joel's stream of consciousness but it's kinda cool

summary: your death drives joel a little crazy

warnings: car accidents and death

“all that has ever mattered is volume, and if you turn up the speakers past the point of sound, to deafening silence, you will hear me again.” – neil hilborn

They had told him the car was trashed. And, to be fair, it was. The metal had crushed and folded in ways it was never designed to.

The mechanic hadn’t seen a reason to waste Joel’s money.

Joel didn’t care, though. He’d do anything–spend anything–to get that car working again.

He ordered new doors, a new engine—all the pieces that would make it whole again. Whole in ways he would never be.

He put her back together.

If he could turn enough screws, slide enough pieces into place, maybe he could do it for you, too. Maybe, if he just works hard enough, you’ll open the garage door, offer him cold tea like you always did when he’d been working too hard.

For all his effort, he couldn’t get rid of the passenger seat. It sits, the back pushed too far—all it’s mechanics ruined from the impact–and covered in your blood, in the corner of his garage.

It’s a symbol, almost, he thinks.

The way, in the movies, it’s an object that tethers a person to Earth after they go–that’s what that seat will always be to him.

It's you. All he has left. He would never want to be free of it.

It’s where he had held you. As blood ran down his cheeks from a wound on his forehead he hadn’t bothered to check, he took your broken body in his arms and did all he could for you.

Be there.

He had known you were leaving, could hear it in your stuttering breaths, see it in the way your eyes glazed over. There was too much to say, too many words for him to ever get out in time, so he settled with the simplest.

Hands smoothing over your forehead, smearing blood he has no hope of finding the origin of, he murmurs, “I love you.” A soft kiss to your forehead that he hopes you can still feel. “I always have. I always will.”

“I love you, too,” is the softest whisper he’s ever heard and he’d give anything to trade places with you.

He’d give up his life in an instant to save yours. It was a sacrifice he had always been prepared to make–since the day he met you.

That chair was where you spoke your last words, took your last breath. It’d be with him as long as he was alive.

So, even though he puts a new one in the car, it doesn’t matter much.

You’re in his head all the time.

He hears you, in fact, the day he gets it started. He drives down the street he’d driven down with you hundreds of times and hears you say, “You have to stop doing this, baby.”

Baby. Like he was something precious. Like it wasn’t his fault you were gone.

“It isn’t, you know. The same thing could have happened if I had been driving.”

He shakes his head. “Doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it does,” you whisper. “You can live again, Joel. I promise it’s okay.” A soft chuckle. “I’m not going anywhere.”

He shakes his head, tears threatening to spill over his cheeks.

“I’ll wait right here,” you hum. “You’ll see me again and you can tell me everything.”

“I don’t want it,” he hisses. “Not without you.”

You say nothing else on the subject, leaving him with only a murmured “I love you” before you’re gone.

So, the day he runs the car through a guardrail isn’t really surprising. As he floats through the sky in ways a human body was never supposed to, he feels you. Your arms wrap around him and you press a kiss to his lips–feelings he never thought he’d feel again.

“Honey,” he murmurs.

“It’s good to see you.”

You smile, take him with you to wherever it is you’ve been, and Joel can’t imagine feeling more peace.

[daftpatience]

hi pen friend!! I got a pilot kakuno pen recently and I am playing around with it. However!!! I learned that I really like having thicker bold lines and I’m kinda sad that the non on my shiny new pen is so so very fine. Is there a way to broaden the nib a little or do you maybe have recs for a pen with a slightly broader nib? (I have been preferring pilot pens with a 1mil nib size, those have good thicc lines that I like. Even a little thicker without being a marker would also be IDEAL) This is gonna be a work pen for me so being durable would also be a nice bonus.

ooh so!! there are a couple things you can do in this case!!! IM PUTTING IT UNDER A READMORE CUS I RAMBLEEEE letsgooo

• swapping out the nib pilot kakuno nibs are compatible with many other pilot pens including the 78G, Prera, Plumix, Penmanship, and Metropolitan! it can be hard sometimes to find spare nibs for this brand, so if this is what you wanna do i'd suggest hunting around any local pen shops that might carry nib replacements + ebay/facebook marketplace/etc.

• grinding the nib down this option is usually not recommended for beginners, but i'm all for fucking around with things i own (sometimes to my detriment) so i'd definitely look into it! especially with something as affordable as a kakuno - most fountain pens are tipped with a somewhat fancier metal (iridium, osmium, gold, palladium, etc) which you Don't want to grind all the way away, but kakunos are not tipped with anything special. they're just plain stainless steel through and through, and i see no issue in giving grinding a go in that case! you'll definitely want to watch a lot of videos on the process - most involve a whetstone and/or extremely fine grain sandpaper & lots and lots of smooth, confident hand movements.

the two i learned are these: smooth, long strokes where you tilt the pen from a low angle to a high angle, and figure eights. the angle of the pen is extremely important, and you'll have to be careful to ensure everything is balanced.

i've ground down a cheap knockoff lamy to a WIDE chisel before, and it came out better (albeit still a bit scratchy) than it used to write (because it wrote like shit originally) imo, as long as the inkflow is even and consistent i don't mind a little feedback on the page.

• getting a pen with a broader nib ok this is where i recc some more pens!!! if you're looking for a workhorse that's a little broader or juicier than a kakuno, i cannot overstate my love for the platinum preppy in 05 (medium nib). this little thing is an absolute legend. they can sit inked and idle for an entire year thanks to the cool seal mechanism in the cap, and i've never had one dry start on me before. they're cheap, feel amazing, i can go on. since they last so long, usually the first failing point is their bodies rather than their nibs, so if you want something a little more durable you can upgrade to a platinum plaisir (which is just a preppy with a metal body!)

i can also highly reccomend Lamy safaris for their ease of nib swappability and range of options! you can go all the way from an EF to a 1.9mm chisel tip >:)

the pilot metropolitan is a universally beloved pen for its quality, though i don't have one so i have no personal stuff to say! this and the lamy are a little pricier than the preppy/plaisir/kakuno but with that comes the bump up in quality and longevity. things to consider!

in general i'd say that any fountain pen with a snap cap rather than a screw cap will work well for work - since unscrewing and rescrewing a cap all day as you do things is sort of a pain in the wrist. i find myself leaning to my lamys & preppies when im working since its so much faster and easier to pop that thing lol.

[nickeverdeen]

hiiii could i have an arcane matchup?

i'm agender (they/them, but feminine terms/titles are fine by me) and queer (STRONG preference towards women), and i'd prefer a romantic matchup but platonic works fine as well. i'm 5'5" (average height queen), i have curly, black, shoulder length hair and bangs. sometimes i straighten my hair if i have the time and energy but usually i just leave it natural. i have fairly pale skin with slight pink undertones, and a few freckles on my nose. my eyes are mostly blue with a little bit of green (my mom used to say i had some gold specks in there so idk what color they are really tbh). i have a pretty casual/somewhat athletic style, since my job does require me to be active, but i accessorize to high heavens with necklaces, bracelets, earrings, and any ring i can find, pretty much. i try to look as androgynous as possible at any given time.

a basic list of my interests: animation, digital art, creative writing, acting, broadway, theater tech (such as running lights/sound/spotlight, being a stagehand, just all of the cool backstage stuff), painting, cosplay and costume making is a BIG one, really anything artsy.

now the weird interests that don't really fit into the above category: roller coaster mechanics/accidents and how to avoid them, herpetology (mainly snakes but other reptiles as well), self defense, airports (not anything specific about them, i just really like the environment in airports)

i really like music! music is a HUUUUUGE part of my life. my favorite style personally is fast paced punk rock kinda style, but any sort of alt rock fits my vibe. i really like MSI (the music, not the people themselves, screw those guys), and some various songs by FOB, The Used, Pierce The Veil, Destroy Boys, etc. I do also love music of other, more undefined genres. I'm absolutely in love with Panic! at the Disco's Vices and Virtues album, specifically Sarah Smiles and Nearly Witches. And a few other songs/artists here and there (like will wood? and jack stauber) but those are my main ones. Sharing music I like is such a big deal for me in literally any relationship.

Speaking of relationships! My love languages are mainly physical touch (receiving) and acts of service (giving). But other "love languages," or just little things that I do with people I'm comfortable with are: rant about my interests/try to get them into said interests, sharing music (like i said), sharing memes and things that remind me of them, and (here's a really niche one) making cosplays of their favorite characters (if applicable, there are some cosplays i just can't do). the way i love is just pure devotion. if i'm in a relationship with someone, they are my everything, i would do anything for them.

i'm an enfp, 6w7, i'm extremely outgoing and have a tendency to strike up conversations with random people. i'm a performer, an actor, everything is a performance to me. i'm an incredibly artsy person, constantly creating something (mainly in the form of writing or physical art/drawings and sketches). my humor is very much just one-liners that are kinda hit or miss, depends on the audience. i understand very well the concept of masking who you are for the sake of acceptance, progress, etc. in public, i'm a completely different person, putting on somewhat of a professional, agreeable front for the sake of getting people to like me. i'm a performer with connections, i know the right people and they'll give me a huge advantage in my future as i try to get where i want to be. i'm not afraid to abandon some ideals and morals to get there. this is not something i'm proud of.

i'm neurodivergent, but incredibly good at masking it. when i'm around the right people, it's obvious, but i don't usually let myself unmask in public. to really know me is to know two different sides of me. anyway, i'm surprisingly organized. i have a meticulous morning routine (i'm a morning person through and through) that requires me to wake up two hours early every morning, but i don't mind (even though i don't really sleep). i get easily overwhelmed specifically by temperature. if it's too hot, i shut down, it makes it hard to function. i'm also somewhat prone to anxiety attacks, and i have bad paranoia, so it takes me a while to really trust someone.

i think my main personal struggle is that i focus on other people more than myself. relationships tend to feel like a sacrifice. i will abandon my own mental and physical health if it means helping someone that i care about (or someone who makes me feel validated but thats a different story). i'm also an incredibly hard worker, so much so that getting things done tends to be my main focus, even over essentials like eating, sleeping, showering, etc.

is this too much info this feels like too much info sorry if this is too much

Your Arcane match is…

Vi (Violet)

Vi would love your taste in music, and you’d often share playlists, bonding over bands like The Used and Destroy Boys

She’d even attend concerts with you

Vi would support your artistic pursuits, whether it’s digital art, writing, or costume making

She’d often help you brainstorm ideas and give honest feedback on your projects

She may not understand it, but she’s trying

Given your active lifestyle, Vi would enjoy working out with you

She’d teach you new self-defense techniques and incorporate kickboxing into your routine

Vi would be incredibly patient and understanding with your anxiety and paranoia

She’d create a safe environment for you to express your worries and help you through anxiety attacks

She had experience with them herself so she knows it sucks and don’t want you to have to deal with it alone

Knowing that you often put others before yourself, Vi would remind you to take care of your own needs too

She’d bring you food when you forget to eat and make sure you get enough rest

It’d probably be pizza or something like that as she can’t cook for life

Vi, not being much of a morning person herself, would admire and be a bit confused by your meticulous morning routine

She’d occasionally join you for a morning run or breakfast, though

Vi would try to share your interest in roller coasters and mechanics

She doesn’t understand that stuff, but would let you talk about (almost) all day

She’d be genuinely interested in learning from you and sharing her own knowledge and experiences

Vi would be sensitive to your struggle with hot weather

She’d make sure you stay cool and comfortable, finding shaded spots or bringing along cold drinks when you’re out together

Fortunately she understands as she isn’t a fan of big heat either

Vi would respect your need for physical space initially, but as you grow closer, she’d be affectionate and provide the comforting physical touch you crave in a relationship

Vi would appreciate your acts of service and reciprocate by doing small things to make your life easier, like running errands or surprising you with thoughtful gestures.

Your quirky humor and one-liners would always make Vi smile

She’d enjoy your company and the light-hearted moments you share

She’d attend your shows and be your biggest fan, supporting your theatrical endeavors

Vi would value the trust you place in her, knowing it takes time for you to open up

She’d be loyal and protective, ensuring you always feel safe and respected in your relationship

Vi would help you find a balance between your hard-working nature and the need for relaxation

She’d encourage you to take breaks and enjoy downtime together, reminding you to take care of yourself

Vi would plan adventurous dates, whether it’s exploring new parts of the city, going on nature hikes, or attending underground music gigs

She’d keep your relationship dynamic and full of memorable experiences

[morgana-artt]

Romeo x Mechanic!Male!Reader (Part 1)

Spoilers for LoP

Notes: So I kinda went a bit off the rails on this one and wrote a lot more than I wanted to (especially in part 2 that I'll post tomorrow), my brain kinda went blank but I think (and hope) its still decent enough of a read. I suppose its a bit of a slow burn at first but I hope you Enjoy!

Reader is similar to Sophia and can channel ergo like she can.

_________________________________________

You ran and you ran FAST. What were you running from? Oh, just a group full of puppets that decided to make you their target and that wasn't fair, you were just some guy who enjoyed tinkering in mechanics! You could ramble on that for a while but you needed to get to safety, you were at the hotel but didn't stay for long as you were on your way to what was called Alchemist's Isle for answers to your past and had to go through the Opera House in order to do so.

You panted as you zig zagged bewteen swipes from puppets to alleyways before finally reaching your first destination, you leaned against the statue in the garden out of breath. "This... sucks! All because I need to find- ugh...hopefully it'll be better inside" you spoke to yourself as you stood up straight and made your way into the big building. Opening the large doors you saw how huge this place actually was and despite it seeing better days it still looked beautiful, you looked around not hearing anything before making your way up the stairs and saw a door way further into the building, "This looks like it goes through the main part...'suppose I'll go through there..." you mumbled to yourself before going through the doors.

You gulped as you saw a swinging chandelier, "Are you fucking kidding me? One hit and I'm screwed..." you cursed to yourself as you watched the giant fire basket swing side to side, you took a deep breath before getting ready and once it swung to the left you bolted just in time but as you did the one wooden pole that helped you cross snapped in half and broke into the hole. You stared at it, "Well...no going back." you said as you turned to the double doors in front of you plated with gold. You walked towards it pushed the heavy doors and you were met with...a sad disaster.

What would've been a beautiful ballroom of somesort was instead a burnt down ruined stage, you frowned at this something clearly went on long ago judging by how rotten the wooden had gotten but what you also noticed was a body propped up against a giant rundown puppet- or you hoped it was runned down. It had been a year or so when the puppet frenzied calmed down but that didn't stop the few puppets around Krat from attempting to hurt anything that passed them just like yourself.

With very careful steps, at first you throught you were approaching a dead human but no...it was a puppet. It looked badly burnt with half it's face broken off, it had blonde hair and despite the state it was in you could tell it- or he you should say- was quite a handsome puppet. Almost prince like. You shook your head, now was not the time to admire the puppet, you saw his head down and eye closed and crouched to his level. "You look like you went through hell..." you mumbled to yourself, now despite knowing how dangerous these things can be you couldn't help but feel sorry for them as you did stumble upon a few puppets that were friendly and even helped repair a few. This one really interested you but it was a gamble- was this puppet friendly or mad crazed like so many others? You decided to take the risk.

You walked around the puppet and analyzed it, didn't seem TOO bad...yeah he was burnt to shit but none of his internal scraps had been broken. Now you had a power that not many people knew about, you could give ergo to puppets and understand them, you can't remember much but it started to develope later in your teens- it was probably why you felt so intune with puppets you could LITERALLY feel their 'souls' give or take.

Using your handkerchief that was tied around your belt you dusted the soot off the puppet and began to rummaged through your bag, you only had a few tools with you and tighened some lose parts on the puppet next to you. You kneeled in front of him and moved some of his hair away from his face, he really was a handsome fellow but it made you sad at the state of his face maybe you could repair it? If he hasn't killed you yet.

With a deep breath you placed your hand where your heart was, ergo began to twist around your hand before you placed it against the chest of the puppet. You waited. and waited. and waited.

Nothing. You furrowed your eyebrows as usually this would work within seconds, guess the poor thing really was damaged. You began to tinker around him a little longer.

Romeos P.O.V

Something in you had awaken, how? Gepettos puppet had freed you so why did you feel you had awaken from a deep slumber? You heard ruffling and breathing...? You opened your good eye, it was blurry at first but you noticed a moving figure in front of you, talking to itself...a human? Your eyesight cleared up as you were faced into a chest, the person you saw the chest of was bent a little over you looking at your back as you felt a few tugs. You didn't dare to move. What if it was that bastard Gepetto again?Wasn't being brought back to life in a puppet not good enough? He had to be brought back again? No...he can't go through with that...the responsiblitlies...the pain...the desperation. If he could cry he would, he couldn't go back to that. He watched as the person in front of him moved back to look into their bag, Romeo took note of a soft looking man in front of him. It was a human but thankfully not the one he hated but how did you bring him back? He lost his ergo so how could you...were you special? Maybe. He watched you in curiosity as you mumbled to yourself about him not working. The young man in front of you had soft (H/C) and piercing (E/C) eyes, and despite looking like a cat that ran through a hedge head first you were pretty nice looking to him.

The man in front of you turned his gaze to you before jumping following up with a little yelp, "You're...awake? It worked!" you watched the man puff in pride, "Ah...My names (Y/N). Do you have one...?" he asked, you slowly lifted your head a little but it immediately went back down- you had little to no energy in you right now apart from your eye. "I-I-I....R-R-" you tried to speak but it came out so statically and robotic, the guy in front of you smiled softly with encouragement, "You don't have to tell me now, I'm guessing you went through a lot judging by how burnt you are" the man spoke, were you really that damaged? "R-R...Rom..eo" You managed to get out, the person smiled at that. "Well, Romeo. It's nice to meet you, I've only given you enough ergo to start up hence why you're only able to move barely. Of course I can take it out if you no longer wish to live" the man gave you a choice, something you didn't get at first.

You glanced at the one in front of you before trying to lift your arm towards the persons face- you struggled and before your arm fell, the stranger- who himself called (Y/N)- grabbed it in time. He felt soft and warm...you hadn't felt that in a really long time. It was nice.

Your P.O.V

You took a hold of the puppets- now named Romeo- hand into yours, You felt pity and it was clear as day he was conflicted on whether staying alive or not. "How about this- You stay here and I'll gather more ergo which hopefully will give you more strength with it and you can decide later, hm? Of course you can ask me to piss off" you laughed dryly. The puppet stared at you making you feel a little flustered, you weren't used to such things and what made it worse was how Romeo had a hold of your fingers and was staring at them, "Ahem, well...I should be off to get some more ergo, yes? Don't worry, I'll come back" you whispered but felt the tightened grip on your fingers, "N-NO...no...fragile..." Romeo spoke, you frowned. Fragile? Was he scared for you? "Romeo, If you want to even lift your head up I'll have to give you more ergo and I can only give you so much from myself" you tried to reason with the puppet. Romeo was confliced but softly nodded. He let go and you stood up, "as to show my promise I'll leave this with you!" you then gave him a necklace, "it belonged to a dear friend of mine...it means a lot and I'm putting it in your possession till I come back!" You looked down at him. "I'll come back...promise" and with that you walked off to hopefully find enough ergo for your new friend.

As Romeo sat and waited he inspected the necklace, what you had said felt familiar to him- with the dear friend...a promise...it felt sort of like a Déjà Vu for him. He surprised himself with the hope he felt of wanting you to come back, he hoped you did you were...nice. He liked you, you seemed like a good person. Like someone else he knew but has long been forgotten.

[curious-sootball]

I'm almost through my second rewatch of Oxventure Deadland and I have some thoughts™️

This post has spoilers for the deadlands campain ending! If you want to watch it blind, this is your warning

I have so many thoughts about The Horsemen I need to type them out or I'll explode (also, I don't know anything major about Deadlands lore)

Andy had gone an extra mile with the antagonists and I love that so much. However, he set the bar pretty high with Bellows, and that created unintentionally(?) hilarious jutaxposition with M. T. "ORDERORDERORDER" Boudreax.

• It is fun to see the Horseman of Death turn out to be the most unhinged of the group - it is usually the other way around; also, I'm not sure how much of his behaviour are mechanics of the Hangin' judge, but Boudreaux shows traits that one would stereotypically assign to an avatar of war - tendency to shout instead of talking, resorting to "Screw the rules, I'm in charge" type of reasoning, swearing at the first opportunity to do so, making up rules for the sole purpose of making everyone's life more miserable. That's a chilling contrast with the actual avatar of War, Bellows, being quiet, confident and having a "you will come to me, sooner or later"- adjacent attitude(traits one would stereotyoicslly assign to an avatar of death). I know M. T. Boudreaux is supposed to be at least a little scary, but his arc is in a breather episode spot in the campain plot structure, and combined with his hammy attitude, he ends up as (subjectively) the funniest Horseman.

(Also, the roleplay from everyone else in that episode was hilarious. Somebody on youtube commented that Garnet should've tried gaslighting the judge until his head burst from anger, and the more I think about it, the more I feel like it could actually work - hangin' judges need to be killed ironically in order to die; would giving one an aneurism from anger induced by someone one-upping his nonsense reasoning with nonsense counters count as ironic death?)

• Speaking of Bellows - I'm almost sad he was the first boss of the campain and thus was doomed to go out early; as Jonny Chiodini put it, Bellows is an oily bastard (and that made him an absolute delight to watch). Magnificent Bastard with the capital letters - with the emphasis on Bastard, but still.

Bellows is the most grounded(subjectively) of the Horsemen in this campain - I had doubts he had something supernatural about him until Victoria confirmed he was the Horseman of War in the finale. Bellows and Hildegard are the best at passing as people among The Horsemen - granted, very shitty people, but Daisy lives in the basement of her own business and is missing the top of her skull, and M. T. "ORDERORDERORDER" Boudreaux is, well, M. T. "ORDER IN MA COURT YOU PUNKIN'LILY" Boudreaux. Think about it: the most well-adjusted Horsemen in this Weird West are War, Famine and Conquest (although the last isn't as well-adjusted by choice). That's the Fridge Brilliance of that campain.

I also find it very fascinating that Bellows tries to talk his way out of the end of the tournament going haywire: option A is that he can find a new vessel, as the Horseman of War, but it is a pain in the ass to do that, so that's why he tried to talk Nate out of shooting him; option B is that he cannot find a new vessel(which is kinda confirmed to be true when Silas duels him), and has assimilated enough of human traits to fear dying. Remember, this is an avatar of War. That's some incredibly juicy characterisation for the first ttrpg campaign boss.

• Also, "I lost my ring and is in service to the ring bearer" line in the finale. Bellows is the first bounty to go down, and the later ones are implied to have taken weeks to accomplish; Victoria is all but confirmed to be the ring bearer. I'm willing to bet all four of my wisdom teeth at once that Victoria went to talk to Bellows(and possibly other Horsemen) via that thing as soon as the main cast was out of her sight and earshot. I'm reasonably sure she had known of the "i lost my ring and is in service to the ring bearer" thing as one of the Horsemen, and this is her first chance to talk to someone she viewed as family and then betrayed her in a long while. Just. Victoria chewing out Bellows in whatever pocket dimension that functions as an afterlife for a Horseman that lost their ring. (Also the implications of Bellows maybe picking more human-like traits the longer he posed as a human or a Harrowed is just *screams* amazing. Andy you devious Marshall I wish you the absolute best. Your NPC's gave me brainrot please keep it up).

• Another Horsemen thought - what came first? Had they all(except Victoria)decided to defy the divine plan for them and creates a mortal personas for themselves, or had creating their (mostly) mortal avatars given them ideas above their role? Because the only concrete thing we know is that they had disagreed with Conquest and sealed away her powers. They clearly made up their mind before taking Conquest down, but the rest is fuzzy at best. Had they went their separate ways completely after taking Conquest down, or had they all met up after before deciding to split so no one can take them all down at once and unseal Conquest's powers? Because the mental image of those four coming up with ideas on how to pass for humans (or undead) is both hilarious and terrifying.

• Next on the bounty list, Daisy DuCrow. Oh my god, she would've had her pick of victims in the Weird West even before she came up with the Hobb's End sanatorium. I got very strong Linda Hazard vibes until it was specified that she spent most of the time in her office. She has a very clear "malicious caretaker/doctor" vibe to her based off Victoria's description - something else to keep in mind: Victoria is both betrayed by the four Horsemen and needs to convince the main cast to kill them. She has all the reasons to slander Daisy - and I'm reasonably sure she doesn't do that too much here, because let's face it, Daisy is pretty horrifying on her own. I wonder how much of Victoria's descriptions of the Red Hand Gang is informed by what they actually did(as actual Horsemen of the Apocalypse)vs how humans would frame it (remember how she said that Red Hand killed her husband and son, and Andy confirmed it in the Q&A to be parts of the metaphor, not just things she made up?). She continues the theme started with Bellows - what makes a monster, and what makes a man how much of their personalities and actions is influenced by their supernatural aspect? Daisy clearly thinks of herself as a somewhat caring person - offering some people a relief from their maladies (for a very steep price, in many ways). Just how much of the Horsemen's actions are informed by their original purpose - heralding the end of the world as we know it and the birth of the new one? Are they still unwittingly work towards that goal or had some of them tried to postpone it and fail? That would be an amazingly tragic twist if some of the Horsemen had actually tried escaping their original purpose.

• Which brings us to the next Horseman - Famine, Hildegard Unger! Aunt Hildie, uncrowned queen of unearned familiarity. Her world faire pavillions actually sound like a nightmare (at least to me, but this may be because I hate children's songs with every fiber of my being and "Fruits and veggies, meats and grains" chant immediately set me off. Hearing Bison Billy telling the guy in the cow costume to stop singing felt incredibly cathartic). I really like the idea that the Famine personified came up with this marketing persona that weaponises politeness and sarcastic jabs(see her making fun of Bison Billy's act and his injury). You can't pin down what is wrong with her politeness (or you can, but it would be considered rude to do so out loud), but there is something off about it. Just like with her food. (She also feels like a more modern interpretation of famine - on paper, its A-OK, and the marketing looks solid, but her food isn't really nourishing in any way and she's too slippery and too wealthy to be hit with the consequences of her lies). 10/10, very punchable antagonist.

(Also - since she's an avatar of famine, does this mean she is always a bit hungry? Can she get drunk? If she can get drunk, would that technically make her the lightweight of the Horsemen, since she'd be always drinking on an almost empty stomach?)

• Last, but certainly not least - Victoria! The Conquest. Oh, Victoria. Loyal to your purpose to a fault. If only there was a way to console you without bringing on the end of times. That "they murdered my husband and son, and left me to die" line hits different in the end (How does a being like a Horseman of the Apocalypse even cope with being stripped of most of their powers and abandoned by their closest friends? Twice?). That's why I wish there was a little more downtime in this series - watching the posse bond not only with each other, but with Victoria would've made the finale even more heartwrenching.

Speaking of heartwrenching - Victoria weaponising Edie's trauma in her trial sent shivers down my spine when I watched it. How exactly had Victoria learned about Edie's past - had Edie told her that herself? Had Victoria read her mind as a part of the trial(since she puppeted the illusion of Edie's little brother)? Either way, that's a very telling thing that she (even after being nerfed down to basically human level by the other four) still considers herself a Horseman of the Apocalypse. Victoria DeClary, you're one cold blooded woman and I salute you.

[xxchthonicreaturexx]

Matchup Trade with @frostfall-matches

Hello hello :) Thank you for doing the trade with me <3 The MysMes match might be a little off since it's been a long time since I've played or read anything from the fandom, but here it is! Hope you like it :)

Twisted Wonderland

Lilia Vanrouge ~

....My little gramp vamp <3

I decided to match you with Lilia :) Why? You know why.

Okay so first of all, your styles would completely go hand in hand. Like hands down, whether it's you or your self insert, from what you describe it's the same kind of alternative vibe. Like, have you seen Lilia's band/pop club outfit? You guys would probably lowkey be matching from what I imagine. And he probably will ask to borrow your combat boots from time to time. They kinda remind him of his time as a War General to be honest...

(Plus your insert is a Fae? Hello? He won't have to worry about you growing old and dying like he is Silver?)

That being said, Lilia is a little asshole of a rascal, and he will prank you just to get you to snark some attitude towards him. (It probably turns him on.) Like he'll do everything in his power to spook you and annoy you just to have a smirk on his face while you shoot him some insulting little quip. Oh but what he'd do to see you ACTUALLY annoyed for once-

While you're distant but respectful, he's more so...everywhere and nowhere all at once. Bro is an enigma, and somehow you got stuck with him. But underneath all the spooky pranks and vampiric allure, he's actually kinda a sad man. He's been around, he has seen some shit, and i mean he's literally a dad so?? He knows coping mechanisms when he sees them. He won't force you to talk. He knows not to pry and try and help you when you havent asked, but he makes it known that he's there to help if there ever comes a time that past trauma pops up. He makes sure you know that he's just an old fae with coping mechanisms too.

Despite being a fae that knows more than most, he doesn't enjoy babying people, fae - human, doesn't matter. He doesn't baby people, and he can recognize that you're independent without him. It's more so you entertain him. You guys are able to play around and yet be serious on another level as well. (He probably encourages you to break rules with him)

Lilia definitely has you play video games with him. Wants you to play that shoot-em up game with Idia at some point, even if Idia will probably rat on you the whole time. (Like he has room to talk-)

I can guarantee too that he will learn languages with you. I mean, he's how many centuries old? He probably already knows multiple. With time like that, he probably is at LEAST Trilingual. Studying together would be cute though <3

Overall score 8/10.

Lilia is an amazing character, but cons would be his pranks. Bro is a menace and he will never stop. Also he's been around for YEARS so he lowkey thinks he knows everything- I imagine living with him for so long will get annoying but he's incredibly loyal and entertaining!

Runnerups: Malleus or Floyd (...Don't question- I had ideas...)

Mystic Messenger

Zen (Hyun Ryu)~

Okay so HEAR ME OUT...

Zen is a cool guy but he's a little....narcissistic. BUT I do believe you have just enough of a mix of blunt attitude and slight arrogance to make him reel back and be like "Woah-" Because lets be honest, just because he has a pretty face doesn't mean he can be all about himself. (Well sometimes.)

On the other side, it's also known that Zen can be very self doubting and beats himself up at any miniscule mistake. Again, you're blunt and have enough spark to quickly reassure and pull him from his depression.

Ex: Zen -"Sweetie, I appreciate your help, but as far as I'm concerned I can't get this role. I screwed up while auditioning. I failed."

(Probably) You - "Stfu- It was a tiny voice crack no one probably even noticed. You're seriously gonna mope? Get over your pity party."

Or atleast how I imagined you two would kinda banter. He can be SLIGHTLY overdramatic.

He'd definitely take you on cafe dates though. He knows the best spots and he can afford those real fancy drinks. Oh and don't even get him started on DIY or home projects- He's setting up pinterest boards, finding aesthetic blogs, and posting cute pics and vids all over social media. It's a win-win. Content for his fans and he's spending time with you doing something fun! Not to mention he'd ask you to work out with him. A jog? Hiking? Still physical activity to him!

He's not super into gaming but I don't think he shuns it (that I remember anyways-) but he might just go ask 707 for some tips and ask to play a multiplayer game with you. Something easier though like Mario Kart or Gang Beasts. Lighthearted and easy to learn.

Oh and the TRAVELING- oh honey- Zen is a somewhat successful performer so I GUARANTEE that he travels whenever he has the chance. You wanna go back to Korea? Absolutely. Spain? Why not. Antarctica? Not sure why you'd want to, but maybe there'll be penguins!

Overall: I'd give you guys 7/10. Zen is a good guy, really! But you two might clash sometimes, just because he does come off a little narcissistic sometimes. He doesn't mean to, in fact it's a coping mechanism for his own self doubt, but it just comes off the wrong way sometimes. Overall though, he's handsome, has money to travel, and would definitely learn languages with you for the sake of getting new roles and whatever else!

Runnerup: 707

Thank you again <3

[1moreff-creator]

Hi! I'm pretty new to tumblr and I have no idea if it's appropriate to come into your askbox to talk about my drdt chapter 2 theories but I'm not confident enough to make my own post and it's more a fun thought I just had than an actual theory

/! \ this will contain spoilers for drdt obviously as well as THH in case people who follow you somehow havent played the game

the gist of it is, someone who is not the culprit could have messed with the crime scene.

It's mainly because so far the chapters seem to have reference to THH in more ways than just with the motives (it is probably too soon for it to be a pattern and ngl i kinda hope its not because if it is, with what we know of Rose' money issues she might end up the ch3 culprit and I want her to live so badly. would make the whole series a bit too predictable also, although i dont personally mind that kinda stuff)

because like. Chapter 1 had someone who got close to the protag, ended up betraying their trust, chose the murder location to frame someone specific, failed their murder attempt and died as a result with the real culprit technically acting in self defense (although its not 100% the case for Leon)

and in chapter 2 we have the victim who died a pretty quick and violent death (at least im pretty sure chihiros cause of death was a violent hit to the head? been a really long while, i could remember wrong) but the murder scene make it seem more complicated. And the victim died just after they decided to change/improve themselves in some way also

In both cases someone who has nothing (at least probably, in Davids case) to actually do with the murder have some pretty big part of themselves exposed during the trial

idk who would mess with the murder scene and for what purpose (Vero. for funsies. What a Legend)

I'm probably wrong cause that doesnt really explain the evidence at the crime scene. like. at all, i know

like Idk what the spinny thing has to do with anything (I mean you could put a bunch of tape on the handles just 'cause, i guess? but it would make more sense if it were involved in some sort of mechanism which you wouldn't need if Arei was already dead)

same for the ball of clothes and the flickering light

Whoever put the fish there though, whether its the actual killer or not, I'm pretty sure they did it to make everyone think the crime couldn't have happened at night time and fish water was actually never part of the murder itself

that would make someone physically strong like Levi the killer tho and even though it would make sense (pretty sure at this point that Arei has his secret) I feel like its too soon for him to die? Eden got more development and makes more sense to me (which breaks my heart, I love her)

Hi! Don't worry, none of us know what we're doing in this website! :D

No need to be shy about making your own posts, but it's also fine to talk/ask me about whatever crosses your mind! So, your theories/thoughts.

The possibility that someone other than the killer screwed with the crime scene is one I've seen before, and technically speaking, something like that most likely happened. I think it was an accomplice of the killer (Eden!Blackened Levi!Accomplice gang rise up), but a third party is part of other theories.

The fish are the main thing: given Nico's account (fish were all still there when they last fed them, which can be deduced to be around 7:00 - 7:30 PM of the third day, the day most of episode 7 takes place in), whoever took the fish must have done it at around the time the characters believe the murder happened. But there's no reason for the killer to bring the fish unless they were trying to confuse the time of death, which would only matter if they can have an alibi at the time the fish disappeared. But if they have an alibi at the time the fish disappear, they can't have taken the fish! (Which, btw, eliminates Veronika. Unfortunate, they won't let women do anything these days, not even mess with crime scenes for funsies smh)

So either it was someone unrelated messing with the crime scene, or an accomplice took the fish there to give the real killer an alibi. I'm planning to do a post summarizing my theory on how exactly the whole mess happened, so uh, stay tuned ig. But if you're interested in the "David screwed with the crime scene" idea, I recommend reading thebadjoe's theory on the murder. I may not agree with it, but it's still a fantastic post and a really fun read!

As for most of the other stuff, yeah Arei's death probably wasn't very simple. Explaining the odd contradiction of her wrists being bound but a mechanism clearly being involved (as you mentioned, tape on bars and flickering light, among other stuff) is a whole mess. It's part of why I'm not really sure this is absolutely supposed to parallel THH. Like clearly there's some similarities, but it's basically impossible to know what aspects of a case would be similar and which ones wouldn't. So, uh, yeah. Who knows.

I do agree Eden's the killer though! Why else would she take the tape from the gym? If you don't know what I'm talking about, basically the gym lockdown and the tape disappearing seemingly overnight makes it impossible for anyone but Teruko, Ace or Eden (or I guess Rose if she's lying) to have taken the tape. But since the tape also disappears from the background right after Ace wakes up... yeah, just Teruko Ace or Eden. But we know Teruko didn't, Ace couldn't have done it without Teruko noticing, and Eden got knocked to the floor when the tape disappeared from the floor :p

And yeah, it hurts. It will be a sad day when the killer gets executed, regardless of who they are, but especially if it's Eden T_T

[wigglebox]

So you never want to see Cas back? Not in a revival or anything set in present time? That’s pretty cruel and I don’t think many people are going to get behind that (except incesties of course).

Whoa hey nonnie, those are some intense words you're trying to put in my mouth!

I never said that. I am not even sure what post you're referring to?

If you're talking about me not wanting Cas in heaven — it's because I'm of the belief there will be a continuation that will properly address The Empty situation. My flavor of Chuck Won theory depends on a continuation and so long as jackles is out there continuing to talk about it, along with others, I'm going to keep that hope high. It's why I don't get sad thinking about Dean being alone in 'heaven', because I don't think he's in heaven, and I no longer view 15x20 as the finale.

If you're talking about my specific parameters for wanting to see Cas on the prequel, same kinda thing. I don't want him with Dean if Dean's being screwed around with by Chuck, because I don't want Dean to ever look at Cas and wonder if he's real or not. I need Cas to always be real. And, I don't mind him showing up in the 70s but there's a short window where that's possible, and it'd be early seasons Cas more likely than not. Which is why I'm okay with him popping up in a Trickster episode because, selfishly, I don't want my Chuck Won theory coping mechanism disrupted lol.

But also really, I'm a go-with-the-flow kinda person.

And for real, don't put words in people's mouths and then assign them motives.

That's not a cool thing to do!

[nagdabbit]

I don't mean for this to be mean, I promise. But do you ever think you're.... TOO honest? Like maybe you give out a little too much personal information?

no. it may not seem like it, but i am extremely selective about what information i do actually give out.

if this is specific to the amount that i talk about my mental health, then, yeah, i am extremely open about it. but, like, people weren't around me growing up. i got my adhd diagnosis pretty young, but that was the end of it as far asy parents were concerned. i was given no support whatsoever and screwed my brain even further by traumatizing it into developing coping mechanisms that are more damaging than helpful. it wasn't something people around me talked about or acknowledged, so it became a thing i didn't acknowledge, either. being loud about it helps. not much, admittedly, but enough. certainly more than anything else i ever tried.

doubly, though, being open normalizes things, right? even just a couple years ago when i came back to tumblr, i just refused to acknowledge my mental health in any way, and it kinda damaged me irrevocably. so i stopped that—or tried to, anyway—and just started talk about it a lot. like, if being open and honest about the absolute state of my brain helps one other person realize it's okay to talk about shit, than i did something good. i will be loud and uncomfortable about it so it's not so groundbreaking when someone else decides to whisper about it.

in conclusion, thank you for your concern but sometimes im just a needy lil bitch with rsd and an inability to maintain lasting friendships that can provide a safe space to talk about things privately so my support system is hitting post instead of save as draft

[perpetual-fool]

-

I've been thinking about the tuning pegs on my viola. I don't like them, in principle. I also don't like all the alternatives, and I'm wondering why I should feel any way about anything.

Practically speaking, I just need to set it up properly. It was cheap. The pegs and peg holes have to have a matching taper for there to be enough friction to hold the strings, but not so much that you can't turn the pegs. That's manual work and it just wasn't done. I sort of half did it, since it's completely non-functional out of the box. Partly I didn't know what I was doing, got scared and stopped when things started looking weird. And in part I had the wrong (poor quality) tools. My peg shaver (looks like a manual pencil sharpener) is for violin pegs, not viola. I ruined a peg last night, being too small, and had to carve a new one out of some scrap wood I had lying around. It's not pretty but I do have one well-fit peg now. It's still not great. Friction pegs just kinda suck. I mean, if they did the job well then surely mechanical tuners wouldn't be anything more than a novelty. I'm inclined to fall for 'just as good' arguments, thinking everything would be magically perfect if I could just figure out the right way to do it. But yeah, no. I did a good job on this, this is just how they are. That one fine turner instruments always have is proof enough.

But I saw this new tuning system that enthralled me for a bit. (Actually that's what got me thinking about this.) There's these tuners by NS Design where you just kind of shove the string in the hole, turn the screw, and that's it. You can even take the string out and just put it back in quickly and easily, it's great. It's a bit big though. I was trying to puzzle out how it worked, but remembered that patents are public. You can just look up the whole thing on a government website. (Aside, their search function is really nice. It's sort of the antitheses of what I've been lamenting about elsewhere at places that just want to sell you shit. Like, the other day I was trying to look up cases for viola bows, specified my results to the "musical instruments" category. And Amazon un-specified it to "all" and gave me a shit ton of results for hunting bow cases, despite actually fucking having actual fucking music bow cases on their stupid fucking website. Anyway;) So, I'm looking at the patent drawings and I'm just not feeling it anymore? It takes up a lot of space. It requires a couple precision parts. It's not 'elegant'. Does it have to be elegant? What would that even entail?

So then, aesthetically, I'm lost. I guess it's like, this object is for making pretty noises. There's this necessary but ugly thing hanging off it that doesn't make pretty noises. And I want some kind of platonic ideal instrument where the strings just float in the air and are tuned by force of will. And having a magic hole for the strings to disappear into is a big step towards that. But it's not just a magic hole, there's levers and screws and mechanical bullshit down that hole. So do I want mechanical elegance? Do I want an efficient mechanism that makes the magic happen with barely a handful of parts? I was mulling over the idea of a 'headless' acoustic (which would be a challenge), and the simplest solution to holding the strings would be a screw. Like, on the non-tuning end, the strings are held by being pinched under a screw. But screws are UGLY and they'd add WEIGHT and then it would require TOOLS to change the strings. And there's just an endless string of impossibly incompatible 'requirements'.

Why am I like this? Is this even 'me', or just bullshit I've been conditioned with? Maybe I should do things 'wrong' on purpose, build shit crudely with the cheapest hardware store parts I can find.

Yeah there's something here. 'Have-to's are imposed by others. Do I really even know myself if I don't know how I feel about things? Why do I even do things? I don't have fun you know. Enjoyment is sparse, petty, and fleeting. Everything sucks and it's an endless struggle to un-suck it. Would I be happy once things are sufficiently un-sucked? Maybe. I do tend to feel pretty okay right after figuring something out. Sure, let's go with that. For now, I will make it my personal quest to un-suck anything within my domain. I'll wake up and think "what can I un-suck today?". I will look at the situation at hand and consider, "how can this be un-sucked?"

And a little more seriously, there's one thing I have that makes me feel a little bit happy. A sharpening stone. A Shapton Glass 500 grit, top of the line, virtually perfect for what it is. I've studied sharpening more than anything else. It took me years to arrive at that conclusion, as expensive as the stone is I've spent that much many times over experimenting, getting stones I thought were the penultimate choice.

So I should obsess, stay focused on one thing until it's done. accept the cost when it gets expensive. (Ya' know, if feasible.)

(I lost track of what my point was.) Is there a meaningful answer to "why should I feel..?" Like, either I just do feel that way, or someone has tricked me. right? Say, if I'm supposed to feel that putting mechanical tuners on the instrument is bad because it makes it too heavy, either I concur based on my own experience and judgment, or I'm being manipulated. So, I'm confused, I've never been able to feel my feelings unadulterated, and I need to find myself?

[just-1other-nerd]

Well, my therapist canceled our appointment this morning because she's sick which sucks for the both of us.

So I guess I'll vomit out my feelings and messed up thoughts here because where else can I put them now?

There are mainly four observations I want to talk about:

First of all I'm thinking a lot about my bullying trauma lately, like remembering how unwell I felt, remembering what my former class mates did to me and how the ones I meet again act like they never did me any harm. I remember pranks, insults and manipulation. But it is even worse that there are moments like that 5 day school trip in year 7 where I know something happened and I ended up being called a monster and I don't even remember all the details because I just repressed those memories. I wouldn't call myself the most forgiving person like I have lots of grudges because of smaller things, so whatever happened must have been really bad if I can't remember it. I'm sure I said lots of bad things back to those people too, because hurt people lash out. I think I wished this one gaslighter to get brain damage once and I regretted it and regret it now. My mum once told me that for her it was like I came home from war instead of school. A saw a insta reel in which a person was talking about how now that they escaped the situation that caused their trauma, they don't know what's next because it makes up such a huge part of their personality and they've been in survival mode for so long that they get anxious thinking that it could go wrong again any minute. But they also said that they are looking forward to finding out who they are without the thing that caused the trauma. And I felt that. I escaped the situation about almost 3 years ago but I'm still recovering and I still have those defence and coping mechanisms from back then. And I like found out that I actually don't care that much about grades, I still care and I'm proud of my accomplishments but it kinda isn't that important anymore, like I'm (almost) okay with screwing up and only being among the best instead of THE best, just like I was back in primary school. I also found out that I like lots of stuff my friends introduced me to like K drama and that I can be silly with them (and that I like that) instead of acting condecending when people are being a bit stupid for fun (in my defence lots of the stuff I looked down upon was sexist/involved drugs etc.) <- look I did it again, I defended myself before someone could even attac.

The second thing is I think I could be neurodivergent. Like I have always been a picky eater but not just because of taste but also because of food texture. The same goes for fabric and certain necklines and stuff because it makes me feel uncomfortable. I used to wear tights no matter what season when I was a kid and was convinced I could never wear pants without them and I still don't like it if pants are loose around my legs so I only wear skinny jeans. I'm very perfectionistic at times and so incredibly stubborn and I need get things done my way and have like this weird tunnel vision where I can't really see alternatives myself but need others to show them to me (like in group projects). But I can also be so lazy and unmotivated that I just refuse to do anything and hope I get away with it. I can be laser focused sometimes, like read in the most chaotic public space but then again I can get distracted so easily by just one sound and like get nothing done at all for the next 10 minutes. I oftentimes scribble or fidget when I'm nervous or need to concentrate. I bite my nails to an unhealthy extent since I was little. I cried a lot when I was a child when we sold things, I can't let go of stuff, it got better but it's still very gutwrenching. I've always hated being wrong and loved being right. Oftentimes I'm so focused on myself and how I feel in a situation that I forget that others might not feel the same way about what is happening right now which leads to me missing (important) social clues. It's not like I can't interpret the expressions of others but I just don't pay attention in that moment of that I'm so convinced that my pov is right that I just don't think about another way to view things, even though I'm relatively average at being able to empathize with others but it just becomes an afterthought and then it's too late. I'm able to reflect on things. Lots of people think I'm arrogant or condecending when I don't even mean to come across that way. I was always considered smart (I have great fact memory) and relatively creative but also weird and socially awkward in a sense that I just didn't get along with lots of my peers. On the one hand people thought I was mature for my age (because I could articulate myself better than most of the kids my age and just knew more in general) but on the other I could be to childish and immature when others upset me and I really have a temper and I hold a grude for forever. One time when I was too old for that I just made such a scene because I didn't want to go on that hiking trip (god, I was so awful that day, my poor parents). I can become obsessed with things, mostly books, series and movies. I'm basically a fandom wiki at this point. I like and notice patterns lots of people just don't see. My dad often compares me to Sheldon Cooper who has Asperger when we watch TBBT (I know he's not the best autism representation but he introduced me to the topic). And like lots of times I read some post and think "huh relatable" and then I look at the tags and it says "autism" or "ADHD" or "neurodivergent" and I've always related to autism-coded characters and neurodivergent characters. But then (depends on whether I'm really neurodivergent or not) my imposter syndrome or common sense kicks in and is like "Just because you relate that doesn't mean you are. You are way too normal and basic for that. You just want to be special. You disrespect the community by claiming you're a part of it without even really knowing. Self diagnosis is toxic and most of the time one's wrong. You only want an excuse for not fitting in. You only want a reason for being bullied," and stuff like this. My imposter sydrom also says those things everytime I think about whether I'm bisexual or not. Like I always get exicted when I see the community succeed or represented and I'm so deep into queer cuture, even before I knew what it was I already had a tendency towards this kind of media.

The third thing is that I'm hating shopping so much. Like I love fashion, it's just so much fun, but everytime I want to be fashionable I just realise I can't be. One of the reasons for this is as I mentioned above that how fabrics feel can be difficult or that I don't like certain necklines because I feel like they expose stuff and it makes me feel very uncomfortable. This is the part that has always been there. But then again there is a kinda low confidence when it comes to my style that's because of never really having the same style as my peers which didn't make the bullying better. I don't like make-up because I'm too lazy and love sleep and because I've never really done it I suck at it and it's bad for your skin. But like if you can do it well it just looks so nice and I'm in awe if my friends can do it well, it's just not for me. I can't have trendy hair styles because my hair is curly and complicated and only 20% of the time (during which I'm almost always at home) it looks incredibly beautiful. But that can also make me look older than I am. In general that's a big problem for me because if I wear something for young people that suits my criteria I often look like I'm 14 (being smaller than average also doesn't help) but if I wear a blazer or something like that I look like 35 or like a teenager dressing up as a 35 year-old. And then there are my body issues. (I know everybody has them and generally I think I'm pretty but I just feel so unfashionalbe.) Trying to buy new clothes frustrates me, like I don't want to be shapeless or like I just want a simple button-up that's for women or I just want to feel like myself and not like I play dress up. I also get sad and hate myself. In those moments I practically am the song "My Own Person" by Ezra Williams because I just want to vanish. And then there is also consumer guilt.

The fourth is that I'm procrastinating again because I'm anxiously avoidant (self diagnosis, I'm so hypocritical right now and I hate that). I should organize something for my future job right now because I should do that before the holidays (tomorrow is the last school day) but I spent the last hour or so writing this and it's already night and normally I would go to sleep now. I hate having to do that. I have to gather information and it's just so confusing. I'm mad because I've been given some misinformation but because of complicated reasons I can't say that I'm mad. I also just feel stupid for not having asked certain (important) questions.

Edit: About two weeks later. Anxiety and procrastination are still there which isn't good because next week my Abitur starts and I should really prepare more. Sometimes I do the kind of self harm when I don't eat even though I'm hungry because I don't feel like I'm worth the food.

Another thing I forgot to mention is that I have this weird fear of like falling into an abyss (metaphorically). It is just like I don't like alcohol, wich is another thing that seperated/seperates me from my peers. I don't like the taste, I don't like the smell, I don't like that it literally kills brain cells and makes you loose control over your body and behaviour. I never even tried it. It is a valid thing not to like it and people should accept it more, people are not antisocial just because they don't consume alcohol, drinking shouldn't be the social norm. As I mentioned before, back in my bullied era I was condecending and not getting wasted because I didn't get drunk was actually a thing that gave me a feeling of superiority and having this strong principal became a part of my self-worth too. So now with my bad mental health I'm worried that I'll give into the temptation of just letting loose for a while, to rebell and not give a shit and drowning my sorrows, even though I know that alcohol (as a drug) isn't cool and that it'll only make me feel better for a short time and that my body wouldn't take it well because it isn't used to it. I know it is kind of stupid and I think I've had those thoughts for a while now but helping me realize this about myself was the Baby Queen song These Drugs which expresses what I'm afraid of better than I can.

[umbrahighpriestofgiratina]

Umbra Plays Pokemon Violet Bonus 1:

as promised. a lot of thoughts about Pokemon Violet and it being my first Nuzlocke:

OK I have a lot of thoughts about how this all turned out that I wanted to scream about. And I am going to split it in two parts: the game itself and the nuzlocke aspect

The Game: -Let's get this out of the way: I enjoyed this a heck of a lot. It's probably not one of my absolute favorite Pokkemon games but it's definitely up there and when it does something I like I REALLY like it

-The Iron Treads in the room is the graphics and performance. I had relatively little issues playing on cartridge, and moving update data to my system memory + a recent patch meant I had even less issues. I understand that wasn't the case for everybody, I'm sorry that took people out of the game because to quote a friend of mine neither they nor the game deserve that, but it still frustrates me when people overemphasize those aspects because there is genuinely a great game under that jank. Should this have been pushed back with Arceus as our 2022 game? Absolutely. These games deserve more dev time. But what we got is still better than some people are giving it credit for. 

-This probably has one of my favorite stories in a Pokemon Thing. I doubt anything will top BW because that was a coming of age game for me and N's character had a very pronounced effect on me but it quite possibly edges out Sun and Moon. And I REALLY liked Sun and Moon's story. The character writing in particular has been on point as it has been for a while now. 

-As for how it compares to Legends Arceus... I think qualitatively Legends Arceus is still better. And they did bring over a decent number of QOL features from Arceus but there were some missing I REALLY felt the absence of. But paradoxically this is closer to the kind of Pokemon experience I WANT. Just in terms of the actual game and features and gameplay structure besides the QOL stuff it's more of what I would want. I do think combining more elements of this and Arceus is good. Bring over more of the Arceus QOL features, remove the jank, bring things like actual sidequests back and this could be my perfect Pokemon game. Also Violet doesn't lock important things behind meticulous Pokedex quests or last second Dark Souls bosses so that's a point it has over Arceus. (The Arceus postgame scarred me OK?)

-I once again maintain that splitting gym bullshit, evil team bullshit, and legendary bullshit into separate plotlines was a good idea. It gives them so much more room to breathe. My one disappointment was they didn't do more with the Victory Road path - storywise it feels like a cheap fast food hamburger served next to some fine steaks and is only saved by the great stak sauce that is the great character writing I've mentioned earlier. It IS the most of a fun challenge due to the Terastalization mechanic gameplay-wise so I can't complain too much, especially when the other routes compensate for story

-Speaking of Victory Road I know I kept making fun of Geeta's design but it's grown on me and now I think she's kinda hot. I appreciate she's not evil or anything she just has a Weird and Intimidating aura. -The new Pokemon designs and names are really good. I wish I got to meet and do stuff with more of them myself. (more on that later)

-The open world is big and fun to explore and screw around, even if this run didn't give me much incentive to do that. (more about that later, again)

-Doing multiplayer has been a blast with my IRL bestie. And pretty smooth too. It helped me get in the "screwing around" quota I was missing doing the kind of run I was.

-Once again, overall, I had a blast, there is a great game here under the jank. 

The Nuzlocke: 

-So this was my first ever nuzlocke, and a wonderlocke/suprise trade nuzlocke at that. I mostly had a good time! Even if I had to cheat a little. Would I do this again? I'd be very open to. Would I do this as a first playthrough again? More debatable. (Ignore I tend to not have time or energy for multiple playthroughs anymore -looks awkwardly at his Brilliant Diamond egg run he still needs to finish-)

-See doing this as a first playthrough meant missing out on a lot of the exploration and discovery this game has to offer. I had no reason to screw around and find new Pokemon and catch them all because I could only catch the first Pokemon on each route. Going in blind was a great idea and I want to keep doing it going forward but some of the magic of it was ruined by finding a cool new pokemon and going "man I wish I could catch this but i'd need it to be my first encounter or gotten in a surprise trade"

-Also the difficulty curve of the Nuzlocke was... weird. At first it was about what I expected but then I slowly got... better at keeping my team alive? I was hoping for more of the deaths to be freak accidents like Denny and not the game being unfair to the point I had to bullshit clause it but as time went on I got less of either and no one really died much at alland it basically wasn't even a Nuzlocke anymore even before the point it was SUPPOSED to not be a Nuzlocke anymore? And I felt like that was boring to read? I don't know. This is my first Nuzlocke so tell me if this kind of thing is like... normal. 

-Overall though it was a really fun experiment with some fun moments and I'm open to doing it again! Just maybe I need to tweak some things... maybe as a second playthrough yeah... and maybe make Bullshit Clause less merciful, like, one Pokemon from those incidents still needs to be Suprise Traded even if not all of them do... that sort of thing. I definitely have increased respect and appreciation for Nuzlockes for sure.

[sappynapper]

here’s some real shit guys

DT helping with your computer issues hcs

Dream

soooo patient

like he goes into dad mode when he’s helping you with this kind of thing

if you get really frustrated and upset easily when computer stuff goes wrong he is so so good at calming you down and reassuring you

telling you “your work isn’t gone, i can get it back, it’s fine” in a soft voice while he’s clicking through stuff and rubbing your back

he loves doing it too tbh

even if it’s kinda early or he’s busy or w/e, as soon as you tell him “i have a computer question” he’s more than happy to help

makes him feel special and smart when you need him (🙄 /affectionate)

if your relationship is public knowledge he’s tweeting lame jokes about it all the time and flaming you tho

@Dream: ‘@y/u/n collects computer viruses (gatherer) then about once a month i get rid of them all (hunter)’

and don’t think he’ll let you or anyone else forget how smart and great he is etc etc

brings it up forever in pursuit of more praise

bonus: he noticed that there was quite a repetitive, mechanical element to your work that took up loads of time (i’m thinking adding citations to essays but w/e) so he holes up in his office and writes a code that does it for you so you can “spend less time working and more time with him”

he’s so ?? 🥺🥺🥺

Sapnap

if it’s an easyish fix he’s your guy

sorts it out then feels all smug the rest of the day

(side note, his furrowed eyebrow concentration face is hot af. u can’t even think about being stressed w your laptop bc you’re drooling over him fs)

when it’s fixed he insists he deserves a reward 👀

(just like a kiss guys relax 😅)

however

if it’s really complicated chances are he’s gonna be even more frustrated than you were

“nah screw this it’s completely fucked, i’ll just buy you a new one baby”

if it really really needs fixing or you give him doe eyes about it (he’s fr fucking helpless to your doe eyes, like instant kill shot) he’ll secretly get dream to fix it then pretend he did it to get all the loving afterwards lmao

your lathering on the praise for “saving” your ass, sap’s basking in it, and dream’s just stood there in the kitchen trying so damn hard not to say anything like 🧍🏻

it’s killing him but he knows how down bad sap is for you so he lets him have it (best friend shit fr)

Sap will joke around loads afterwards about how you’d be lost without him but if you get all genuine like “it’s true, you look after me so good” he’s straight up gonna cry

George

definitely the best at computer stuff of the three

100% can fix even the most terrifying blue screen of death problem

but when you ask for his help fixing something he’s all “what’s in it for me?” bc he’s a dick lol

you have to promise him all sorts of things just for him to fix it in like 3 clicks

you’re just like “oh 🧍🏻 … i’ve been scammed”

“mmm not my problem, you agreed, you have to make dinner and give me kisses 😘 ”

(like you weren’t gonna do that anyway 🙄)

that’s unless you’re actually upset bc it’s messing with a deadline or something important

hit him with the waterworks and he just comes straight over and fixes it real fast

he’s all nonchalant about it too like “yeah no big deal ez clap uh huh” when you’re thanking him, read: absolutely smothering him in kisses

secretly loves it sm though and if you stop he’s all like “hmm, no. you’re not done. more please”

[kung-laos-hat]

S/O wanting to break up in the middle of an argument over something they did Part 2:

Raiden

Raiden is dismissive of it at first but ultimately regrets it

Poor man is known for making decisions he thinks are best at the time then eventually realizing he was completely wrong

He’s always been the type to put his duty as a god above everything else, so he tried to brush it off by telling him things like “it’s not as if it was meant to last forever...”

Raiden doesn’t necessarily chase after you. However, after seeming how unfocused he’d become because of the spit, Fujin encourages him to take initiative and has a long talk about how it was okay to be in love.

Yeah, Raiden kinda sucks at understanding romantic relationships but at least he’s trying. He takes you somewhere private to talk and apologizes for his mistake.

You made a promise that you’d take him back as long as he shows genuine improvement and the two of you seal the deal in with a kiss

Fujin

Immediately tries to talk you out of it

His face drops and his entire body just droops with pure shock and sadness. He stumbles over his words for a moment before breaking into a panic and begging you to stay.

Fujin is all around a wonderful and incredibly doting lover, so for you to be upset with him means he screwed up big time.

Fujin is so used to things going his way in love that he surprisingly has a hard time dealing with the concept that you might want time away from him.

He ultimately admits his faults right away, apologizes, then gives you a little space (despite how much it kills him).

Poor Raiden has to listen to him whine and moan about how much he wants to fix things right away and he reminds Fujin that if things are going to work out, he has to be patient.

If you choose to warm back up to Fujin, he goes out of his way to do small things for you here and there. Lots of physical affection to ease his nerves.

Kung Lao

Gets incredibly upset and nearly breaks into tears

“I’m sorry, I won’t do it again... I’ll do anything, just don’t leave me...”

Kung Lao had been absolutely smitten with you from the very beginning, he’s an incredibly loving partner. For you to want to break up over something he did clearly shows he fucked up very, very badly.

He’s genuinely sorry and heartbroken over his actions, does his very best to make up for it with little gifts, dates, and trying to talk to you more throughout the week

He’s a little shyer to show you physical affection at first, but all it took was you intertwining your fingers with his to remedy this.

Tells you over and over how much he loves you just to make sure you know.

Scorpion (Hanzo Hasashi)

Shuts down. Doesn’t want to talk anymore

Hanzo honestly doesn’t know how to deal with losses emotionally. I mean, he’s dealt with so much grief without a healthy coping mechanism that part of him feels like he deserves it for not being strong enough.

“If that’s what you feel is best, then I won’t stop you...”

He lets you leave without another word but afterwards regret hits him HARD. This man can’t focus on anything afterwards.

Won’t necessarily chase after you, but happens to conveniently end up in the same place at the same time as you on several occasions.

The two of you eventually make amends, but try to start off as allies first until it becomes unbearable to keep away from each other.