#and the lube bottle!

[sastielsmanuscript-draft]

...

[s-uccubus-mommy]

I want a boy to invite his friend over and then before you know it I’m holding both of their dicks together in one hand and letting them get off by rubbing against each other and my hand

[mattodore]

they drive me crazy fr...

[starpawedart]

continuing the outfit agenda feat. my nyc summer fit

[epiphainie]

Buck learns about clone-a-willy and has to get at least a little drunk before he’s brave enough to approach his ex. Gets spectacularly drunk before he starts to believe this is a good idea.

He slurs out “look, I’m respecting your decision but I really need your dick, so if you could just do this for me”

Tommy’s doesn’t know whether to be flattered or embarrassed.

buck drunkly texting tommy when tommy is on shift like

"i have to tlam to yij"

"talk to yyouc"

"importnat"

and tommy worried out of his mind texts back, trying to get buck to give an answer about his whereabouts, what the hell's happening, is it urgent. he doesn't get any other text so he rushes out of the station before his captain can even say yes. he drives to buck's, runs up the stairs, loft door gets yanked open and buck, eyes red-rimmed, cheeks wet with tears, thrusts a penis molding kit in his hands

[goatsandgangsters]

another reason jack and alan didn't fuck on the lyric is that jack force fed alan his entire bottle of lube when he was unconscious and didn't have any more

(meanwhile there’s alan, waking up on the floor and a beautiful man is pointing a gun at him and his mouth inexplicably tastes like olive oil and he’s gotta be like “okay either a microaggression happened... or the ancestors are speaking to me and they want me to fuck this man.”)

[hatchetmode]

Working at a sex shop is so funny bcus sometimes I'll meet the sweetest person on earth and then 30 seconds later someone else walks in and it's like the 3rd plane

[dansidoon]

wip

[hiimcanadia]

I have never met a single person in real life who has used a dental dam but please imagine with me Ed and Stede picking up some free grape-flavored dental dams at pride and then Stede absolutely going to town on Ed when they get home because he wants to see how long the flavor lasts

[captainjonnitkessler]

One thing a lot of non-trades people don’t know is that there are so many things in drop ceilings that are not supposed to be in ceilings. For example, I personally have lost multiple sets of pliers in drop ceilings all over the city and have replaced them with new pliers I found in different ceilings. There’s a weird number of food and beverage containers up there. Once I found a cardboard tube covered in bright red warnings that it contained radioactive material (I did open it and it was empty). And today at work I removed a ceiling tile and a full bottle of lube fell out. Truly small mysteries are all around us!

[saintoflust]

realizing you dont have lube in the middle of getting hot and heavy is officially a nightmare scenario.

[babehog]

Spilt lube in bed accident. 1 bedsheet dead, mattress injured

[eebie]

suckin and afuckin in the mud and the blood and the brew

[primeshonkers]

Im a t4t dratchet believer and with that comes with the sadness knowing nobody will write fic about the two of them jacking off like its their job due to hrt. Or lost light metoidioplasty 😔

[chronoton]

Obsessed with the size reference here

[provokedgoalie]

18+ under cut 🔞. no minors pls.

.

so I'm listening to this audio porn & this dude is jacking off, speaking both english and swedish 😵💫