#and the like 3 ppl i follow
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a redraw of the first drawing i posted here to celebrate the fact that ive been in tumblr for more than a whole year posting my shit and havent deleted my blog in panic yippee \:D/ (mushy rant in tags)
#i realised too late that it has been more than a fuking year (august 9)#and for context: ive had 3 different intagram art accounts and i deleted all 3 of them a few months before creating them. anxiety amiright#here it has been so different bc people are so nice??? it has been a pretty plesant experience here w all of u really#im so glad to have found myself in such a wonderful part of the fandom and amazing mutuals that i never talk to bc im shit w texting#the atention has been overwhelming ngl. i have over 2000 followers which. holy fuck???#it doesnt feel like a real number and for my own sake im nnot gonna treat it as one#like i apreciate the support and ppl liking what i do but im not here to make number go big yk? im here to connect w other humans#and yall have been amazing humans ^^ thank u for all the wonderful tags and comments and the support overall#it has been so cool sharing my art and finding other artist whom i respect oh so very much. some of them even follow me back wtf#i hope to continue being here for as long as i can and keep growing as an artist and sharing that process with other without fear#also my amy redesign actually goes so hard idk why i forgot about it nxnfbcncb#sth#sonic fanart#sonic#amy rose#nov.aart#nov.junk
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they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?
they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.
you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.
you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.
mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.
you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.
#writeblr#warm up#to be clear let me state again: i think you should id however you fucking want if it helps you seek peace#but there is a HUGE difference between being like '.... im undiagnosed but i think i might be X'#and a person who is like ''omg my intrusive thoughts made me buy a birkin!!!''#babe mine made me throw up bc they disgusted me so much <3#mine made me hurt myself evenly. even when i wanted to stop. i have had to put my hand on the stove MULTIPLE TIMES#and again i'd rather have 10000 people get help for something they don't need help for#than have 1 kid NOT get help#but there has GOTTTTT to be a middle ground here#bc at this point it isn't ''raising awareness''#it's . fucking misinformation. and ''what this picture says about you!!!!!''#& yes! im mostly talkin about ppl who are actually disgusted and offended by signs of mental illness#but use it to defend THEIR actions#like babe you hate when kids start yelling in the walmart? but you YOuRSELF can yell?#you are depressed so it's fine you were cruel to your spouse?#but if your spouse spends too much time in bed she's a lazy fuck?#your partner needs to do everything for you bc of your history in trauma? but when SHE has needs she's being clingy and gross?#HUGE difference here between whom i think most of my followers are btw. like#all it takes is fucking anyyyy empathy or kindness . like.#anyway it's hard to explain im hoping we all know the person im talking about lol
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he did. my husband tried. he tried to warn them. he did. he said to them, “i’m not as into this as my wife is. i just like looking at cars, but she’s got all the facts and specs and everything. she’s practically a walking encyclopedia.”
and they didn’t believe him. they laughed. they shrugged it off. they shrugged me off. they were warned. and yet they still decided to try and put me to the test. they were warned. they were warned of what would happen to them. and yet they didn’t listen.
their ambition made them icarian. their folly turned my warmth from brilliant to sweltering.
their hubris led to their humiliation.
they were warned. but ambition makes men bold.
this is all just a very dramatic way of saying that grown men decided to play a game of, “oh you’re a fan? prove it” only to have their asses handed to them by their opponent.
this was the opponent btw:
#my big 3:#fangirl#fandom#formula 1#imagine getting humbled by bitch who’s 5’4 and wearing a cowboy hat purchased at build a bear#bc said bitch had gone to build a bear to make the stuffed version of leo leclerc#ya know#leo leclerc#he’s charles leclerc’s puppy#and i borrowed his cowboy hat#austin gp 2024#us gp 2024#cota 2024#i love embarrassing ppl#like#why are you trying to ‘gotcha’ me at a gosh darn f1 race#several of these grown men started yelling at the shuttle bus drivers bc they weren’t transporting tens of thousands of ppl fast enough#so i yelled at them back in defense of the drivers#only i didn’t say ‘they’re trying their best’ or something like that#i said: why are you in such a rush? you gotta get home to your dad on the mouth?#followed up by an incredibly southern:#i don’t know why y’all’re actin like you ain’t got no raisin but jesus h christ and the donkey can’t y’all just quit actin ugly?#anywho#bitches hate me for my sense of whimsy#and frankly insane amount of knowledge about formula 1 racing
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Zealot
#twst#twisted wonderland#twst sebek#sebek zigvolt#dark fantasy#malleus draconia#twst malleus#diasomnia#dark art#ppl with low light settings wont even see this dfgfsd#delete l8r#i know i can do better but Ive worked on it for so long that i want to post#i wanted to make a series of illust for a while of like... his obsession#hes so insane so ready to follow orders so wholly devoted#this isnt mallesebe i think he worships him as one would a god#wip ig#haiiii my followersss hru its exam season and its hell <3
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(william afton voice) i always come back
#hello deh fandom i return to you like. 3 years later#if my art style is familiar. shhhh no its not#sorry fpr the weird posing + low quality#been busy with performing arts hell#the muscle memory took over#green evan hansen truther !!! hes so green#i look upon this media with eyes not tinged by as debilitating mental illness#therefore they are fresh and shiny looking after years of drawing them#youll never guess who my fav was#dear evan hansen#deh#connor murphy#evan hansen#sorry ppl who followed me for tma. get hit with theater beam#mango post#mango art
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Are there any madcom enjoyers in chat
#been real tentative abt uploading any of my madcom art but I rlly liked this one....#the rest have existed solely in my group chat of 3 ppl and my instagram with 4 active followers#but i have. so much. maybe one day ill share the rest but i rlly liked this one at least lol#madness combat#madness project nexus#sanford#deimos#sanmos#my art#simmons likes to draw
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need them to be bffs and i will keep manifesting idc 😂❤💜
#across the spiderverse#miles morales#miles g morales#spider-man#prowler#fanart#my draws#across the spiderverse spoilers#i like the idea of them having diff colored eyes bc their moms do!!!#ive seen ppl draw G with green eyes which i love but i just followed the yellowish hue from the movie :3 mightve just been the lighting but#anyways i love them!!! ive been putting off finishing these until i got the artbook and then i STILL didnt rly follow the artbook#such is life#i think that G would still be a nice boy but he has to be much more assertive bc of how his universe is ):
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is this the plot of the watchdogs paradox
#how i be feeling after referencing something most of my followers havent read n have no means of reading#nah its like a teaser#like a trailer so when i actually drop the translation more than 2 ppl will know abt it#which idk when will happen actually im halfway thru chapter 4 n have 3 more to go#but it will i promise#woy#wander over yonder#save woy#meme tag#art tag#probably
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This Art blog reached over a 100 followers! So to celebrate I've decided to gift 🎁 something to you!
How :
If you follow me reblog this post with a picture of your Persona or OC attached!
Why and what :
I will then look through the reblogs and choose a handful to draw and post!
[Update: 1st drawing out of 5 now posted!!]
(Reminder that I do NOT accept OC requests in my asks so this is your only chance to have yours drawn!)
Anyways here you guys are:
@autisticgremllin @creativia10 @flickeringillusions853 @beurkivol @lilydragon0
@panchocolinas @daniellemarvel4 @ilov3b00kss0much @lonely-linn @firinniee
@multifandomjumper @cryingwolf-sirius @paperboatprince @wososkkwkwkwksks @hypnotion
@m-cariagga2021 @randomgirl2012 @sr-8eep5 @dcxcv @psychoaddison
@precambrian-sea-pancake @formerlyfandy @please-be-nice-im-sensitive @strongest-angel-in-heaven @ice-magician
@xelphinanyxalis @lunaloveschickennuggets @pixeltehvixen @ghost-171-blah @ody2302
@thatpersonnamesilver @krystalskiez @thewrongwarrior @my-n4m3-15-n080dy @dictatorshipper
@mets023 @reinfei-fandomizer-28 @circus-gone-wrong @cupceekcup
@bladevoyager @charlotte0--0 @cameronroof @nessiet @blekshma
@bennyandj @1000cavalry @fuckingdeadinsidetm @owleweowl @n1cky5
@epic-fan1 @notschoolaccount @coldilikeit @warmilikeit @sinnedmorrow
@fairyflows @acespecasf @godofchaos13 @thatonekid @j-acky
@p3achii-was-h3r3 @pan999flo @honeycasette @artxstic-scr1bbles @chichilllive
@a-smol-lychee123 @primojelly @browhyihatethis @featherwaits @ihavehomework2dobutimhereinstead
@moni48isa @angrynerdalpaca @gayvoidobject @xenomorphicidiot @runic-dreamer
@ryomaandgundhamkin @xobs25 @hug3geek @kazurie @scratchthat-jaguar
@severnighttragedy @wikithewikipedia @vinniechaosss @theoneandonlypatches @grenue
@cartoon15 @deathly777 @ravis3050 @librarifan @knight-elm
@wafflefrieseater @bananarama12 @thelara13 @lulus-epic-version @estrogenprincess
@demonixoverlord @shommon @beeisnotdead @I-ybee @arian-cant-finish-art
@emmanuellygatinha @peppermintsaysrandomthings @a-z-4-m-i @itslesbiantime1 @eclecticobservationarbiter
If I got anyone wrong then pssshh no I didn't
#Some might not find that number that impressive but It hasn't even been 3 weeks since i started “Nyssa's Atelier” so it's crazy to me!#Got me sitting here like 👁️👄👁️#Anyways love you all 💗💗💗#nyssa#Tagging the things that brought us together#digital fanart#epic fanart#epic the musical fanart#fanart#Really hope ppl see this post in spite of my terrible tagging#oc request#art gift#follower gift#Reblog this!#With one OC attached!#I'm never tagging that many people again 💀 i had to individually type all those names my brain feels like mush now#Special shout out to everyone with actual words in their usernames i love you you've made this easier
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ever since the 5.2 trailer this is all ive been able to think about
once again, the genshin pokemon au thoughts are running wild
excuse the mega long rant in tags bc i geeked out perhaps a lil too much abt pkmn au but ourghghg.... we do not talk abt how i spent at least an hour writing all this out....
#just genshin <3#ororon with noibat and noivern... maybe he has like... a pkmn daycare kinda thing going on and lots of baby pkmn like to follow him around#and citlali with psychic pkmn like espeon espurr and both male and female meowstics...#omg wait citlali with both of the meowstics as her companions would be so funny hold on 😭#and capitano with absol.... and also aegislash bc yes he so would have that stance change... + with it being able to detect#qualities of leadership in ppl and capitano literally having the perfect leadership + justice-like sense of duty is so !!#and corviknight and bisharp.... yeah...#idk but capitano with dark and/or steel types >>>>#OR EVEN A GALLADE OMG WAIT CAPITANO WITH A GALLADE WOULD BE SO COOL TOO?? ESP MEGA GALLADE???#it being the master of courtesy and swordsmanship and has an honourable warrior image... wait thats actually perfect...#ALSO MUALANI WITH A SHARPEDO ANYTHING ELSE IS WRONG !!! but she would also have a buizel/floatzel too...#maybe an alolan raichu too??? that would be pretty cute actually#kinich with a serperior???? i think that could work... or at least a really sassy snivy KJHD#also lk can see him with a tsareena 😭 also a lil baby turtwig would be cute too... sobs...#SCEPTILE TOO OMG#kachina would maybe have a lil gible or wooper or sandshrew... omg wait maybe a rockruff :((#xilonen maybe would have an excadrill?? hmm.. idk bc i can kinda see her with a garchomp... maybe a luxray too?? hmm........#chasca would maybe have a braviary? or a talonflame actually... honestly can see her with a gyarados too 🧍♀️ but also mega pidgeot...#AND MAVUIKA !! can see her with a mienshao... WAIT NO A BLAZIKEN???? + /MEGA/ BLAZIKEN?????? omg infernape and cinderace too...#mavuika with fire + fighting types >>>>#anyway this is too long and it was just the natlan cast haha....#pls no one understands how much i love pkmn and genshin pkmn!au has been rotting the back of my brain for years#pls... i need to actually make this a series or smth bc u can BET reader would have like... a gardevoir companion bc gardevoir <3 ;w;#but also u would have an eevee walking companion alongside gardevoir too !!#man... this actually makes me want to go back to the fic draft holy hell
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drawings that make u go EAUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
strawberry nerds candy is my inspo
#bright colors#eyestrain#<- i think?#i was just messing around#bc i was like#listening 2 an hr long video & felt like drawing jskdfhkjahfk#& its bart doing t rex armssssss#i changed his colrs againnnnnnnn some1 arrest meeeeee#i thought this was pretty fun 2 just lay random colors on tho#uh#ther is no rhyme or reason i rlly was just adding random ass colors#I JUST WENT ON THE COLOR WHEEL & PICKED COLORS I THOGUHT WOULD B FUNNY HERES WHERE I ENDED UP#i h8 drawing ahir + facessssss IT WILL NEVER CHANGEEEE#u can see where i started losing steam lmao#asjfhAKJF#barts hair((lineart/sketch wise)) IS getting funer 2 draw tho :3#i worte both my user name & my name BC U WILL KNOW WHO I AM#srry im bothered by the reposting stil askfhaskjfha#just just a weeee bit#uhhh#bart allen#puppee art#yeahhhhhhhhh :3#ppl follow me like “oh i love ur colors!” then i post shit like this
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this drawing took shrimply everything from my soul and turned it into soup to bare at the turn of the century Haii kay bye
#ace attorney#mo art#tgaa#ryunosuke naruhodo#the great ace attorney#ace attorney fanart#my art#kazuma asogi#tgaa 2 spoilers#tgaa spoilers#asoryuu#asoryuri#YEAH THEY ARE BUTCHES COME @ ME BRO#haha ont though i am so small and tiny#anyway#lol um#hey how are you doing#this drawing took like 3 days#and i only finished it bc i hit 100 followers on twitter so#any twitter ppl haiii#go follow me there i post more sketches#i love the tagging here though#so i shall always come back to my roots#love you all#if you want the speed draw just put it in the comments and ill put it in here#love and peace#on planet earth#yayy
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A needlessly thorough review of DATV so I can move on with my life:
WHAT I LIKED:
The story pacing flows better without all that open world slog from DAI I am not bombarded by 50 side quests that have no baring on anything other than rp flavor
The game is pretty, CC is nice
They gave you far more opportunities to flesh out your Rook's background than in DAI and da2 but it's not as fun has having a mini origin story from DAO
no fall damage and if u run out of a combat zone ur companions follow u too
Hossberg wetlands really remind me of dragon age awakenings and I like the way the blight looks there, it gave me a nice nostalgic feeling for the older games
WHAT I DID NOT LIKE (IN DETAIL)
Voice Acting & Dialogue
It is really hard to be invested in a game that feels the need to recap everything you just experienced from 5 minutes ago, (verging on insulting my intelligence) and the silliest part is while i do hate this I got so checked out after act 2 I needed the recap
A lot of the dialogue and banter is just empty small talk and meaningless pleasantries that sucked the life out of me, had me longing for the days of hearing Ohgren's beer belches reverberate off the walls in the deep roads:
Voice acting is really consistent, I hated it when you never knew how your inquisitor would sound in DAI sometimes too serious for a funny comment or like yelling at Cassandra and cullen over nothing - Rook is more consistent but it comes at a loss of personality every line is uttered in the same annoying tone that had me being like damn can he stfu already (da2 was ideal voice acting for me if they cant deliver that again just go back to a voiceless protagonist)
Me whenever my rook opened his mouth: i was getting violent on that skip button
The dialogue between rook and their companions holds it back from being enjoyable at all really- here's some examples:
Emmerich's personal quest in act 2: "I want to do this immortality rite it's a very high honor in my order but rook I might die in the process permanently, I am an orphan and afraid of dying" Rook: "You could die?!?! That's awful". In Origins you can have a conversation with Wynn about her inevitable death and respond in a manner similar to rook and Wynn teases you by saying "well i'm not going to live for ever dear" it made me smile and sad about not being able to really help her. Did not feel that way Emmerich though, Im so uninterested in him as a character my response and feelings are "old people die all the time" and then 'wait why the fuck haven't you done this immortality ritual yet instead dragging me over here to collect some flowers"
Companions & Romance
the flirt options aren't all that flirty, its just rook being nice, all the romance content seems behind a 'romance locked in' moment (that comes in so late in the game u already forgot who u were even flirting with at times) so you can't hop ur way from one bed to another before deciding on 'the forever one' (remember when I could ride the iron bull then break up and be with Cullen- I don't think that’s an option here)
The companions are all pretty forgettable, I did everyone's personal quest (with the exception of Taash tried to kill a dragon for them n failed so bad i just moved on) and forgot there was even an approval system with them or that I was supposed to pick choices for them. It felt like i was on a train going in one direction where it did not matter what I said or did to them they would be fine. It’s like I've lost and gained nothing by doing these quests. The deepest thing I learned about Emmerich is that he is a 50 yr old orphan scared of dying. And it makes me not care all that much about them beyond “I just need you to function enough to get me to the end of the game sure Taash embrace being Rivaini, yes Harding live peacefully w that Titan shit inside you idc… Lucanis..ahh what was ur issue again I forget”
I made Lucanis live peacefully with Spite (stuck as an abomination that's supposed to be as volatile as Anders & Justice) Let Emmerich become a lich and no one batted an eye. Everyone just heehee haw hawing over Emmerich's new skeleton form and I forget about spite a lot unless he comments on something i've killed. Was there supposed to be some moral quandary? to make Emmerich a lich I had to "kill off" Manfred... the walking skeleton who might as well have been a rock with a pair of googly eyes attached to him for all i care
I don’t want to help Bellara light funeral pyres in a puzzle game play style that isnt a deep message about death. I want Aveline's speech about reading her favorite book to her dying father after hawke lost thier mother.
For Neve's romance, it took the whole world falling part and everyone dying for her to kiss me for a 2 time and then pity fuck me and afterword she’s like I’m leaving don’t want to be too distracting. All these lines carry no weight like bad actors w no chemistry
jaw on the floor comparing this (first time I said "i love you" to neve)
to the first time I said it to cullen and how he treats u before the big battle
I get that she isn't lovey dovey but at 70 hrs in and 2 kisses it feels like she just dont love me </3
Combat - as a spellblade mage*
combat was this weird mix of sometimes fun sometimes a new and unique form of human torture (wydm press shift 4 times n hold down e then press V C and 2 IM ON A KEYBOARD!) Once u make it past level 20 u are immortal but ur enemies are sponges I dreaded every single dragon fight despite that being my favorite thing to do in DAI. Don't ever want to see another Ogre in my life they body me into corners that hitting space can't save me from.
At some point u just gotta run around the place a lot hoping ur companions can do the damage for you bc the mobs aren’t interested in them at all. i was spamming 2 n slamming on that E key hopping it would be over n done with already, If i wanted to play a flashy monster hunter game, well then id play tw3 at least that combat is fun.
Lore & Story building
At the end of Trespasser, I was under the impression that the conflict in DATV would revolve around solas amassing an army of elves all over Thedas to rebel against the Evanuris. He had a whole network of Spies working against the Inquisition and the Antaam, and planned to restore the elven people, upend their religious views, and try to tear down the veil as a way of atonement. So I was understanding of there only being 3 import choices ( 1- who you romanced, 2- Save or redeem Solas 3- Disband or Keep inquisition). But that's not the story we get; instead its this??
The veil jumpers are like engineering mages with no ties to Solas beyond being an elves. There is no religious struggle they just seem to accept that these Gods have always been evil and need to be stopped. Solas is just a one man army trapped in the fade off screen for like 70% of the game. Should I have just kept the inquisition around after all? The only mention I got was my disbanded inquisition choice was inky going "my name still carries weight in southern thedas" and it seemed like disbanding or keeping it would have an affect on how easy or hard it would be to stop Solas but no it really doesn't at all
“It doesn’t feel like a Dragon Age game”
A criticism I rarely take seriously because that can mean so many different things? Like what is it the atmosphere? The aesthetics? The “dArK fAnTasy” none of these things have ever stayed consistent in any dragon age game. And I’d say DA franchise lost its teeth/edge when dai rolled around it was pretty light in the world of dark fantasy
However…theyre kinda right this time around....
It doesn’t feel like a dragon age game because they removed a lot of the lore your were exposed to in the previous games to the point where this might as well be another game all together. (i am not even a lore nerd but i do need something there to feel like i am in a dragon age game)
Yes the city is named Minrathos you were are told of its cultural significance and history as the seat of the empire but looks like a shittier version of kirkwall (and I kept getting lost going around the map so I hated it even more for wasting my time) Honestly the city felt super high tech and out of place in a fantasy setting imo, I missed it when everyone lived in a wooden hovel in the middle of the woods.
There is no reason for the venatori to follow Elgarnan and ghilian'nan or for the Qunari either but it all gets hand waved away with "they offered us power"
Reading the Inquisitors letters made me feel like im in a spinoff game and the real story is happening somewhere else. And sad to like baby take me with you!! i want to save u from this nightmare
A lot of the factions are sanitized to the point of being boring Darvin's little 'we're warden we don't do blood magic that's just not right" baby I let the wardens sacrifice elves to Corphyeus 3 weeks ago :/
Qunari Culture
So the whole reason you were fighting the Antaam in DAI was because they believed you were in cahoots with Solas, who's whole plan to them is to sow chaos and disorder- that is a HUGE no no in the Qun so they see it as their sacred duty to stop you. The Qunari we meet in DATV mindless npc mooks who attack you not because your with Solas but because the Evil elven gos promised them uhh power n shit for stopping you. Like I know I did not just waste my time in DAI reading about how egalitarian the Qun is everyone is like a Hive, they depend on each other so selfishness is rooted out so wtf was going on in Treviso with these guys. A whole culture decimated down to being darkspawn mobs part 2
What made me never want to play another DA game ever again:
Everything you ever did in Orlais, Ferelden, Kirkwall is pointless. No matter what the last letter from the Inquistor is "yeah the blight reached the south Denerim is gone, ferelden is blighted beyond repair, we took back Skyhold but barely. The Venatori disposed of whoever you put in charge of Orlais and there's giant leviathans rising out the sea in Ostwick" There is no conclusion to this it's just the state of the world now
I cant even pretend my non solas romanced Inky is happy and safe after all this? My hof and Alistar might as well be dead for all that it ever mattered. I get that the devs wanted a clean slate but did they have to burn my house down and salt the fields? It feels so spiteful and mean, like they wanted to make a whole separate game and tack on the "dragon age" title to it for money. If they're not interested in the lore or world building why should I? it made me fully checked out of the rest of the story. Like damn idgaf about elgar'nan and the other one give me back Redcliff
TLDR I dont know if i should be sad that I still care about this or glad its over either way im blocking all datv tags n moving on
#datv#datv critical#dragon age veilguard#da posting#if it were up to me! it be easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for this game to win GOTY#im doing this so i dont become annoying to the ppl that follow me and DO like the game <3 we can move past this
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Ian Gallagher Being His Own Person, and Why That's Controversial
A meta about Ian's story during his time away from Mickey, and the hate his character receives for it. Inspired by @dazzle02 :)
How many times have you heard somebody say that they skipped season 8 of Shameless because Mickey wasn't in it? How many times have you heard somebody say that season 7 is only good during Mickey's episodes, or that the story is boring without Mickey in it, or that Ian's S6-8 arc was boring without Mickey? How many times have you heard somebody proclaim that Ian wasn't a good partner to Mickey?
Mickey is undeniably THE fan favorite character of the show, and with that comes a tendency for fans to defend him tooth and nail, even when he is in the wrong, and refuse to see any other points of view. Characters who go against Mickey in any way receive a harsh amount of criticism that sometimes is not fully justified. This applies even to Mickey's main connection to the story: Ian.
During season 5 and onward, some fans hold Ian's actions against him very harshly when I feel he deserves a bit more empathy. Of these, there are three main things people criticize his character for during seasons 5, 6, and 7 that I feel are not given proper analysis and thought by fandom.
Disclaimer before we get in because people feel very passionately about these two: Every interpretation of a character is entirely unique to each individual viewer, and these are just my opinions. This is in no way an anti-Mickey post, so as you read, keep in mind that any criticism toward him is not meant to make him out to be a bad character. Don't bite me.
Season Five: The Breakup of All Time
I think a large part of why people get so upset with Ian for the breakup is because of the growth Mickey experienced in seasons 4-5 leading up to it.
Mickey in seasons 1-3 is in extreme denial of being gay, and when he grows feelings for Ian, he lashes out and treats Ian like shit. Seeing Mickey's slow growth starting in season 3 brought interest to his character, and in season 4 with his major growth during his coming out, he becomes very compelling to a viewer. After all the angst that it took to get Mickey to finally open up, there's a natural desire to see that positive growth and relationship development continue. When Ian throws a wrench in that by breaking up with Mickey in season 5, people get upset, and they're going to direct that toward Ian because he is the easiest to blame.
There's the sentiment of, "Mickey came out for Ian, took care of Ian, and supported Ian when he needed him most despite his faults. Why is Ian leaving Mickey in the dust when he now needs him most?"
This is honestly not an unreasonable thing to feel when looking at things from Mickey's perspective.
But, when you take a look at Ian's character, and you really think of his motivations in that moment, his decision to break up is actually very understandable. Ian didn't break up with Mickey because he thinks Mickey is a bad partner or because he doesn't love Mickey enough. He broke up with Mickey because he thought that's what was best FOR Mickey.
I think comparing the breakup to their fight over marriage in season 10 to be an effective way to understand Ian better.
In season 10:
"How do you know you love me? Huh? How do you really know? I'm bipolar, right? I don't know who I am from one day to the next, and I can't guarantee shit. So why do you wanna spend the rest of your life with me?"
- Ian to Mickey, S10E9
Compare this to this conversation during the breakup:
"You used to love me. Now you don't even know who I am. Shit, I don't know who I am half the time... You don't owe me anything."
"I love you."
"The Hell does that even mean?"
- Ian and Mickey, S5E12
I feel that Ian's mindset is pretty similar in these two moments. In season 5, he is still grappling with his diagnosis, and he has no frame of reference of how a healthy life with bipolar can look. Everybody has been comparing him to Monica, and he himself seems to oscillate between thinking he is like her and not like her, so in his mind, he has nothing to offer anymore.
Then, in season 10, in his mind he proved himself right. He tried to get his shit in order, lived happily and found peace with his diagnosis, and then he fucked it up. He had an episode, and he lost everything he fought so hard to have. He has practically ruined his life because he DID what he FEARED he would:
"I hate the meds. You gonna make me take 'em?"
"You get fucking nuts when you don't."
"Are you gonna want to be with me even if I don't?"
- Ian and Mickey, S5E12
That conversation isn't Ian saying he isn't going to take his meds, given how in season six, he IS taking his meds. I interpret his above statement to be a warning to Mickey. Because Monica has tried to get on her meds before, has tried to get better, and has failed many times. IAN has gone off his meds willingly twice now. This is him telling Mickey, straightforward, "I do not like the meds, and there will always be a risk of me deciding not to take them."
And in seasons 8-9, he does exactly that. He goes off his meds, and he destroys everything he built for himself. That's part of the reason why he hesitates to marry Mickey in season 10, and part of the reason he breaks up with Mickey in season 5.
Ian views himself and his disorder to be a burden on the people he loves. He believes that Mickey will be better off without him.
"I don't want you sitting around, worrying, watching me, waiting for me to do my next crazy shit."
- Ian to Mickey, S5E12
Because Mickey HAS been doing that. Ever since he was diagnosed, Mickey has been watching Ian like a hawk, acting like a nurse, which frustrates Ian.
"Fuckin' nurse now?"
[...]
"I'm sick of your whiny, pussy crap. I don't need a fucking caretaker, alright? I need the shit-talking, bitch-slapping piece of Southside trash I fell for. Where is he? The fuck is he, Mickey?"
- Ian to Mickey, S5E10
But, of course, Mickey doesn't see it that way. To Mickey, Ian is anything but a burden he wants to unload.
"It means we take care of each other. [...] It means thick and thin, good times, bad, sickness, health, all that shit."
- Mickey to Ian, S5E12.
Mickey would do anything for Ian. He confronted his worst fear by coming out, stayed with Ian even after the infidelity, defended Ian after he kidnapped his son, and tried his best to understand a mental illness he had no prior knowledge about. Yet, Ian still won't commit to him. After everything, he still isn't good enough.
"I'm not saying never!"
"No, you're just saying you don't love me enough now."
- Ian and Mickey, S10E9
And Ian, meanwhile, thinks that HE isn't good enough for MICKEY. He has been diagnosed with a lifelong condition, one that he has seen ruin lives firsthand, something that will be a part of him for the rest of his life, and he doesn't wanna tie Mickey down to that life.
It's all one massive miscommunication.
Finally, I think the part that is the most confusing to fans regarding Ian's mindset during the breakup stems from his moments with Monica in S5E11 and S5E12.
Specifically, the parallels between these two conversations.
"Ian, there's always gonna be people that are gonna try and fix us. And you can never make those people happy. Like it breaks their heart just to look at you."
"Yeah, um, even Mickey now."
"He's your boyfriend, right? [...] I'm sure he means well, but you need to be with people who accept you for who you are. And they're out there. You should never apologize for being you."
- Monica and Ian, S5E11.
Vs.
"What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Too much! Too much is wrong with me. That's the problem, isn't it? Too much is wrong with me, and you can't do anything about that. You can't change it. You can't fix me, 'cause I'm not broken. I don't need to be fixed, okay? I'm me!"
- Ian and Mickey, S5E12.
Monica's interpretation of the relationship seems to paint Mickey in a negative light. "He means well, but he doesn't get it," or something along those lines. Based on her previous experiences with the diagnosis, she has come to the conclusion that people like Mickey or Fiona, who try to get them to take medication and are saddened by the diagnosis, are being controlling, and do not love them for who they really are. That's why she always went back to Frank; he actively tried to get her to NOT take her meds or get better, and did not encourage her when she DID try to get better. So, to her, being off her meds IS the TRUE version of herself, and the people who can not accept that do not accept her.
But I think, while Ian's lines parallel Monica's, that he does not think the same way that she does.
Toward the end of season 5, Ian seems to do a complete 180 from his previous statements on his similarities with Monica.
"You flushed your pills? You get thats a full-on Monica move, right?"
"I'm not Monica."
- Ian and Fiona, S5E8
Vs.
" [...] Cause they all say how alike we are."
"That's probably not a compliment."
"Uh... No, I think it is."
- Ian and Monica, S5E11
This happens in the wake of his arrest, after Ian's siblings talk about him to the military police. Many of their comments seem to hit Ian in a way that makes him feel misunderstood or like a burden.
Debbie: But he's been acting crazier for longer than that.
Lip: Yeah, at least this past year.
Officer: How would you characterize his behavior?
Debbie: Compared to how he used to be... He's different.
Lip: He'll go back and forth from, you know, being depressed, to, you know, incredibly wound up. I mean, he ran off with a baby for no reason.
Debbie: He almost hit me in the head with a baseball bat.
Fiona: Our mother was bipolar, so we know what it looks like. She put us through Hell, and- I'm not saying you put us through Hell, but when they're manic they can be destructive.
Officer: In your opinion, does he require medication?
Fiona: Yes.
Officer: Is he unable to care for himself?
Fiona: Sometimes, yes.
So, when Ian talks to Monica when they reconnect, Ian expresses loneliness and a feeling of isolation.
"I'm really glad you came, yknow? I just... I needed someone to talk to who... gets it."
- Ian to Monica, S5E11
When Monica tells Ian to not be ashamed and that she loves him for him, she is kind of acting like his Frank. The meds have been taking a toll, and recovery is so difficult that running with her and getting validation from the only other person who could "get it" is an easy choice to make. I think the combined factors of Mickey treating him so delicately, his siblings laying out his flaws so plainly, and his mother's open acceptance creates a feeling of bitterness or shame, and Ian is hoping to find comfort in his mother.
But it doesn't go the way he expects it to.
At the diner, he thinks that Monica is going to prostitute herself for money, and is relieved when she doesn't. It's likely he was thinking of his own stint at the Fairytale in this moment.
Then, he recalls a moment from his childhood that he does not look upon fondly, only for Monica to refer to it as "good times."
He meets Monica's partner and discovers he is an aggressive teenage meth dealer that she is helping to sell the meth.
I think Ian has a true moment of clarity during this. He had thought that he was vindicated, that everybody else was wrong, that they didn't understand, that Monica was right, and that he was perfectly fine just the way he was. But then he sees what Monica considers to be "a happy life."
"Ian, I'm finally happy. People like us, we can be happy. I love him, and that's the most important thing, to find somebody to love, right? Who loves you back for who you are. I want that for you. I love you. We're gonna be okay. We're gonna be okay."
- Monica to Ian, S5E12.
Monica's perception of life is warped. What she considers a good life is living in a trailer selling meth. Good memories are traumatic memories for those around her. True love and support is an aggressive teenage dealer, or Frank Gallagher.
A simple drive to Ian was a horrifying kidnapping to Svetlana. Doing a porn that was no big deal to Ian was a betrayal of trust to Mickey. Joining Monica and ignoring the calls of his well-meaning but ignorant family to Ian was a painful and worrisome disappearance to them. Ian's perception HAS been warped, and he's crashing back to reality, realizing that he has run off with MONICA, realizing that he can't continue down the same path as her, and needs to go home.
He's come to accept that he is bipolar. He's internalized what his family has kept repeating, that he is just like Monica, and looking at her living like this, believing that she is living well, is terrifying to him.
So he goes home, believing that he is just like his mother, and he's doomed to be a piece of shit. He goes back, and he breaks up with Mickey. Because he doesn't think that people like him can be happy, and he doesn't think he'll be okay. And that isn't something that Mickey can change. Too much is wrong with him, and Mickey can't do anything about it.
Really, it's just a matter of Ian operating under the "if you love them, let them go" mindset, and Mickey interpreting it as a rejection. It's the two of them both believing they are not good enough for the other and internalizing it instead of properly communicating.
TL;DR: Ian's breakup with Mickey in S5E12 is not done in a healthy OR selfish mindset. To him, he will do nothing but drag Mickey down, and in his unmedicated and clearly altered state of mind, he thinks the best thing is to let him go.
Season Six: Dating Caleb and Other Blasphemy
The first time we see Mickey in season six, it's behind a pane of glass in an orange jumpsuit.
Mickey had tried to murder Sammi, Ian's half-sister, and had been sentenced to prison for 15 years. It's established that Ian has not been to visit Mickey much and is trying to move on past that time in his life. But, upon being bribed by Svetlana, Ian visits, and during this visit Mickey asks Ian a question:
"You gonna wait for me?" - Mickey to Ian, S6E1.
And when Ian shows hesitation:
"Fuckin' lie if you have to, man, eight years is a long time." - Mickey to Ian, S6E1.
So, Ian replies:
"Yeah. Yeah, Mick, I'll wait." - Ian to Mickey, S6E1.
Before even meeting Caleb, fans absolutely tear into Ian for his decision to not commit to Mickey in this moment. They call it selfish, or out of character, or unfair to ice Mickey out when he is going through this difficult time.
But, let's look at it from Ian's position.
Ian has dealt with abandonment issues his entire life, with both Monica and Frank being unstable and infrequent providers during his adolescence. Throughout his relationship with Mickey, they had been separated on three separate occasions, one of which was entirely voluntary on Mickey's part. Now, due to committing a major crime, Mickey has been sent away for up to fifteen years. They would both be in their thirties by the time Mickey would be released, or close to it if he got out early, and that's not even considering that he was actively taking part in jobs / activities that could extend his sentence, like stabbing people.
Ian has dealt with recurring disappointment and abandonment his entire life, and throughout their time together, Mickey hasn't really established himself as stable.
Now, before you bring out the pitchforks;
"But Mickey was there for Ian and supported him through seasons 4-5. He grew as a person and proved he IS reliable."
Yes, that's true. He did undergo massive development that allowed him to be a better partner and more reliable person to Ian. But, canonically that period of time only takes place over a few months.
Mickey, for the better part of 2-3 years, was NOT a good partner to Ian. Multiple years of an unsteady situationship is not so easily forgotten. Yes, Mickey 1000% had valid reasons for acting the way he did. It's made very clear in S3E6 and S4E11 why Mickey hides his sexuality and lashes out when forced to confront it. But that isn't an excuse. His reasons for acting in a negative way towards Ian the first three seasons is understandable, but he went about it in a bad way.
Not to mention that, despite his growth, Mickey has just been sent to PRISON. No matter how you spin it, his decision to go after Sammi was NOT justified and does not necessarily bring forth confidence in his reliability and stability.
It's not unreasonable for Ian to not want to wait for over a decade for a man who has not always been the best for him. It sucks as a viewer who is invested in them, but Ian was not in the wrong.
Beyond (justifiably) selfish reasons, Ian also already thought that he was bad for Mickey, was worried that he would ruin his life, and with Mickey's justification for his torture attempt being that he did it FOR Ian, that Sammi had it coming because of what she did TO Ian, Ian probably felt responsible for that as well. There was probably a level of guilt in Ian from the whole situation, both for Mickey being in prison and for leaving him there.
But from his point of view, it's better for everybody to try and move on.
What really bothers me about this criticism toward Ian is the sense that he OWED Mickey his time and loyalty. Because Mickey had given and sacrificed so much for Ian during seasons 4-5, it's like people think Ian is then obligated to return that for Mickey, no matter what Mickey did. It's a very transactional way to view the situation, and it just leaves me with an icky taste in my mouth. Nobody owes anybody anything in that situation. Ian does not owe Mickey companionship, and Mickey did not owe Ian support when he got put in prison in season 9. Returning to Ian was Mickey's decision to make, and not a decision Ian was obligated to make in season 6.
Now, onto the actual "dating other people" part of the conversation.
For months, Ian has done nothing but get his meds on track while working at Patsy's, then at the janitors job on Lip's campus. During this time, Ian expresses having a very low sense of self-worth.
"He as smart as you?"
"No."
"Yeah, he's smart."
"Lip is the genuis of the family."
"So that gives you an excuse for not finishing [high school]? You seem plenty smart, and Dav's uniform doesn't really suit you."
- Ian, Lip, and Professor Youens, S6E3
And:
"This is it for me, Lip. This job. This is where I land."
- Ian to Lip, S6E3
Which Lip comments on in a very concise way:
"Yknow, he thinks... Being bipolar means he's doomed to be a piece of shit like our mother."
- Lip about Ian, S6E3
Ian feels no sense of purpose during these months. He feels he has no worth and that he is doomed to work a dead-end job and have no happiness. He thinks he is just like Monica.
That only changes when he witnesses an accident on the highway, and he saves a woman's life by pulling her out of a burning car.
This leads us to Caleb.
Now I'll admit, this is where I take issue with the storytelling, because this would've been a PERFECT way to segue into Ian's EMT arc, but regardless of what I personally think would've been better, the way it plays out in canon does actually still make sense for Ian's character.
After saving the woman from the burning car, Ian collapses due to smoke inhalation and exhaustion. A firefighter on the scene provides Ian with oxygen, thus saving his life. Ian immediately fixates on this particular firefighter.
Now, Ian has a very complicated relationship with feeling his emotions post his diagnosis. In season five, when he is numbed by his meds, the only way for him to feel again is through pain, via self-harm or starting physical fights, and sex. In fact, sex plays a major part in many aspects of Ian's life.
From the age of fifteen, Ian had been consistently subject to sexual abuse. He's been used for his body by countless men throughout his teenage years and has been oftentimes reduced merely to his sexuality and what he can provide to his partner. Even Mickey, in season 2, tells Ian as such in a panicked rage.
"You think we're boyfriend and girlfriend here? You're nothing but a warm mouth to me."
- Mickey to Ian, S2E8.
(No, I'm not saying Mickey sexually abused Ian. But he did contribute to the way we see Ian default so heavily to objectifying and sexualizing himself.)
So, due to this recurring trauma, Ian has a tendency to default to sex as the primary way of getting satisfaction, be it emotional or physical.
So, when Ian gets a rush of adrenaline from the crash, after months of that numbness, he chases the emotions in the most effective way he knows how.
Ian goes to the firehouse with cookies to give as thanks to the firefighter who saved him, but with a clear ulterior motive of getting laid. When he finds out that the particular firefighter (who happens to be part of the "gay shift" which is an odd writing choice) he saw on the highway is married, Ian meets Caleb. In this scene, they speak all of one line to each other when Caleb invites Ian to a firehouse softball game. The next time we see them on screen together, Ian acts very flirtatious toward Caleb, which sets forth their relationship.
"You ever pitch?"
"... Usually, but I'm open depending on what you're into. Where we doing this?"
"Follow me."
[...]
"Wait, we're actually playing softball?"
- Ian and Caleb, S6E5
I think Ian receives hate for this simply because he's expressing interest in a guy that isn't Mickey. Fans get the impression that Ian is moving on too fast or that his interest in Caleb is sudden or rushed. However, I think the rushed nature actually works to show Ian's intentions. In this moment, Ian is not really looking for a full-on relationship. Given how little they interacted thus far, the fact that Caleb wasn't even who Ian was originally interested in, and how Ian's comments consistently err on the side of sexual, its safe to say Ian was just looking for a hookup. In fact, it's Caleb who pushes so hard FOR the relationship.
Mickey, in a deleted scene, hooks up with an inmate right after talking with Ian. If Ian's relationship with Caleb had only been a fling or hookup, I don't think Ian would've been as heavily criticized. As it is, fans get upset at this relationship because it IS a relationship. They go on dates, Ian starts staying with Caleb, and really they seem to be very domestic.
But I don't think Ian was as dedicated to the relationship with Caleb as fans make him out to be.
From the jump, Ian seems uncomfortable with the quick-moving pace of it. At first he only seems interested in sex with Caleb, but upon the negative reaction that provokes, Ian conceded to going on a date with Caleb (which is a bit of a slap in the face to Mickey fans after Gallavich's ruined date.)
"[...] I was hoping to get my hands on your hose."
"Is that what this is to you? A fuck?"
"You say it like it's a bad thing. Come on, let's get out of here."
"No. I knew you were younger than me, but I thought you were a grown-up."
"Fuck. Okay. Okay. Hey, I'm into you, alright? I thought you were into me."
"I am."
"Then what's the problem?"
"I don't stick my dick in just any guy."
"What do you want, then?"
"Seriously? Do I have to spell it out for you?"
"Yeah."
"A date."
"With, like, flowers and chocolate and shit?"
"No, we could skip the flowers."
"Okay. You're on."
- Ian and Caleb, S6E5
(Side note, pulling a "is that all this is to you" after two non-romantic interactions is not just quick in terms of hookup culture, which Ian is more attuned to, but is quick in any terms. More on that later.)
During this date, Ian is visibly very uncomfortable. Some would chalk this up to him having never been on a date before, and the writing even seems to imply that,
"Okay, look, I have no idea what I'm doing. My last boyfriend wasn't much of a talker, his idea of a conversation was to insult me a bunch and then punch me right before we banged."
- Ian to Caleb, S6E6
but that's actually not true, DESPITE the writers forgetting that.
"You know, Mickey and I never went out on dates. Ned never took me out, Kash and I fucked in the back of a convenience store, and I don't think jerking off strangers in a nightclub counts, so..."
- Ian to Lip, S6E6.
He actually HAD gone out on a "date" with Ned in season three, where he was visibly less uncomfortable than on his date with Caleb. He also went to many loft parties during his time dancing at the club, wherein he blended in very well and was able to sorta chameleon himself with the northside crowd. I think the show wants us to believe his discomfort is from him "never having been on a date before" or being unfamiliar with a "slower" pace, but I think his discomfort actually would stem from him just genuinely not being interested in Caleb in a romantic way, and thus feeling awkward on a date that's in a more romantic setting (compared to his one with Ned, which was undoubtedly more sexual.)
I also think his discomfort stems from being completely out of his element. Ian has taken a massive hit to his confidence since his diagnosis, so his Southside roots bring about a bit more hesitancy in him than it might have before, and he may be less confident in his ability to chameleon. That's why, during the date, Ian shows discomfort with Caleb when he shows more "class" than Ian.
"Usually, I get a bunch of apps to share. You good with that?"
"[Uncertain hum] ... Appetizers! Sure, yeah, big- big fan of apps."
[...]
"You seem like a very pensive kinda guy. You an only child?"
"Uh, no."
"Brothers and sisters?"
"A bunch, yeah."
"Older or younger?"
"Both."
"What about your parents? Both still alive?"
"... Yeah."
"... Fantastic. I'm learning so much."
[...]
"Where I'm from, people communicate with their fists."
"Where's that?"
"Southside."
"Mmm. Hands of steel. Okay, so you're a street rat. A brawler."
"Is that a problem?"
"Only if you make it one."
- Ian and Caleb, S6E6.
Then, beyond their first date, we have the actual relationship to dive into.
Throughout his scenes with Caleb, Ian seems to oscillate between neutrality, discomfort, or mild enjoyment in the situations he finds himself in.
There's this interaction, for example, where Ian lets Caleb take charge in defining their relationship:
"So what are we doing?"
"Whatever you want, I guess."
- Ian and Caleb, S6E7.
Or this moment:
"What are you smiling at?"
"I like having you over here. What are you smiling at?"
"I like having a purpose."
- Ian and Caleb, S6E8.
Or when Caleb invites Ian out with his friends, and we see Ian slip into his chameleon persona, mirroring the petty mannerisms of the most vocal participant of the conversation, as well as avoiding diving too much into his personal history.
"You haven't told me which one is your ex."
"Guess."
"Old guy, pink sweater."
"How'd you know?"
"Ooh, a redhead, Caleb? Does his carpet match his drapes?"
"You're a good sport."
- Ian and Caleb, S6E8.
[...]
"If we had known you were bringing a middle school student, Caleb, we wouldn't have come to a place that cards."
"Oh, no, it's cool, I don't drink. I hear it makes your skin old and leathery."
"That's-that's how we're playing this?"
"Hey, you threw down first."
"Where you from, kid?"
"Back of the Yards."
"Local boy. What's your story?"
"Story?"
"Who you are, what you do, how did you meet this chocolate bundt cake?"
"Met him at the firehouse."
- Ian and Gregory, S6E8
[...]
"We like this one, Caleb. Don't we, Gregory?"
"I mean, If young, beautiful, and kind of a smartass is something to like, sure, fine, I guess we do."
- Caleb's friends about Ian, S6E8.
OR, in a deleted scene where Caleb expresses frustration at Ian keeping the distance between him and Ian's family, as well as Ian's lack of communication, while Ian seems unbothered or even perplexed by Caleb's frustration.
"So, where'd you sleep last night?"
"Home. Got done at three, told you I'd be late."
"Yeah, like nighttime late, not next day late."
"Well, I didn't wanna wake you, and I had to go back there to grab some stuff: clothes, towels..."
"Where's there?"
"Home, you mean?"
"Yeah."
"Back of the Yards."
"Right. You did mention that once. I still don't know where it is or who I'd call if there was an emergency?"
"Uh... my brother, I guess? Or my sister."
"Brother or sister. Okay. I'll just track down Ian Gallagher's brother or sister on the internet."
"I'll... put their numbers in your phone."
"Great."
- Ian and Caleb, S6E11 deleted scene.
OR any of the follwing:
When they go to get Ian tested for STDs, he is visibly uncomfortable having Caleb in the room with him.
He is only comfortable revealing his bipolar disorder if it is done in exchange for another secret from Caleb.
He isn't very comfortable sharing his past, only references his previous relationship in a lighthearted manner, and he only reveals his sexual history upon feeling pressured to do so, which he purposefully presents in a callous way.
To me, the entirety of Ian and Caleb's relationship reads as Ian's desperation for validation through sex, which leads to him putting up with a relationship he isn't entirely comfortable in or commited to or ready for. To me, it seems like he's truly just looking for companionship in any way he can get it.
Out of everything, though, I think what really gets to fans most about this storyline is the constant comparison of Caleb to Mickey as a means of demonizing Mickey.
Throughout the entirety of Ian and Caleb's relationship, there is a constant comparison between the two relationships, seemingly with the intent of painting Mickey as a horrible partner.
When Ian tells Lip about his upcoming date with Caleb, he remarks that he never went on dates with Mickey, which comes off as an unnecessary jab.
During his date with Caleb, Ian talks about his lack of effective communication skills, which reflects negatively on Mickey, to the point Caleb brings forward the idea of domestic abuse.
During the wedding that Ian attends with Caleb, Ian mentions Mickey's marriage to Svetlana, and he uses a tone that comes off as belittling the situation and how difficult it was for Mickey.
There's this line, when Caleb asks Ian to kiss for the first time:
"Can I kiss you?"
"I thought kissing comes after you've had sex a bunch of times."
"Ian, kissing comes whenever you want it to. Even now."
- Ian and Caleb, S6E6.
Then, there's Mandy stating that Caleb was better than Mickey.
"A hot black fireman. Also an artist."
"Upgrade from my brother."
"I miss Mickey, but uh... This new guy's nice."
- Ian and Mandy, S6E9
These near constant comparisons to Mickey are frustrating to fans, because it can often feel like Ian, or even just the writers and the narrative, are trying to belittle Mickey's character and reduce him to a one-note toxic ex, which completely spits in the face of the development that he went through. THAT is what is most frustrating to fans.
Because it's true that Mickey was not always the best partner. In real life, Mickey would be a walking red flag, and Gallavich would be undeniably toxic. But that applies to EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER in Shameless. That is the entire point of the show. None of them are particularly good people. They all do shitty things, but they all have compelling reasons for doing it. That's why we can look at these characters and feel connected to them instead of just absolutely hating them.
It's a really odd writing choice for a show that focuses on morally gray characters, or the idea that nobody in the show is really a good person, to decide to play moral high ground in this particular instance, and have Ian suddenly turn his nose up at Mickey's behaviors.
But is this really how Ian feels?
Because, as established, Ian is VERY good at playing chameleon. He is good at shaping himself into whatever a partner wants him to be. He mirrors his partners mannerisms, beliefs, and attitudes.
And Caleb, for all that the story wants to make us believe he's better than Mickey, is actually not the best partner either. Not just for cheating on Ian in season seven and then gaslighting Ian about it; he shows some toxic behaviors in season six as well, including being lowkey judgmental about Ian's Southside roots.
Take, for example, Caleb implying that the Southside is trash, but that he can see the beauty in Ian despite being from the Southside:
"That's my latest. I love to find the treasure inside the trash. Trying to find the secret life in things. What it wants to be instead of what it is."
"Is that what you're doing with me?"
"Good question. Can I kiss you?"
- Ian and Caleb, S6E6
(Which, funnily enough, this line from Caleb goes pretty against the sentiment that Monica had in season five, of Ian finding somebody who loves Ian for who he already is, as Mickey did.)
Or, for another example, Caleb judging Ian pretty heavily during the softball game for being "not grown-up." Simply because Ian expresses sexual interest in him above romantic.
"Cmon, let's get out of here."
"No. I knew you were younger than me, but I thought you were a grown-up."
- Ian and Caleb, S6E5.
Which, as I pointed out before, is really strange behavior. Participating in hookup culture isn't something that Ian needs to be shamed over. There's a sentiment of "Hooking up is beneath me, it's immature," to Caleb's tone, which is unfair. Now, he has reasons for this, that being his experience with getting HIV from a hookup who lied to him, which draws a pretty interesting parallel to Ian.
"Don't worry, guy I did the scene with said he was clean."
"He didn't use a rubber? Are you out of your fucking mind?"
- Ian and Mickey, S5E5.
Vs.
"Guy in college. He lied to me."
- Caleb to Ian, S6E8.
(Which I actually find to be a very interesting plot point and is actually a pretty good scene.)
So, while Caleb was not wrong to put forth a boundary by not hooking up, he was wrong for acting as if IAN was the problem in the situation. Not to mention, his behavior at the game is very strange when taken into account how little they've interacted thus far. He had understandable reasons for his negative reaction, but he went about it the wrong way. Sounds familiar, doesn't it?
Anyways, I could talk about the relationship between Ian and Caleb more, but that's not what the point of this is.
The point I'm trying to make is that Caleb, however covertly, expresses a negative or biased view toward the Southside lifestyle. And Ian, being the type to mimic his partners, follows along in that.
Ian already fears that he is going to be left. He is afraid that showing Caleb who he really is and not being the idealized version of himself will lead to Caleb breaking up with him.
"I'm enjoying it while it lasts."
"You think he'll dump you?"
"Well, I've told him I'm bipolar, and my family's screwed up, and he took it pretty well. But it's one thing to hear it and another to live it, so... We shall see."
- Ian and Mandy, S6E9
So, he chameleons. He makes himself the treasure in the trash. He distances himself from the image of a brooding, Southside street rat.
Because, after so long of constant pain and numbness during and post his diagnosis, Caleb is the first good thing he's found.
"I haven't been this happy in a long time."
- Ian to Caleb, S6E8.
And really, everything that I just talked about doesn't matter when you think about it that way.
No matter how dedicated or invested Ian was in his relationship with Caleb, it still provided him with companionship and validation, which as we know, is something that Ian has an unhealthy dependence on to find self-worth.
And I don't think Ian was wrong in searching for that connection simply because that connection wasn't with Mickey. He could've been well and truly in love with Caleb, and he wouldn't deserve some of the hate he receives for his canon actions.
It's easy to look at Ian's relationship with Caleb and get frustrated because of all the time that was put into Ian and Mickey's relationship. But beyond the instinctual negative feeling that comes with seeing Ian with anybody other than Mickey, his relationships outside of Mickey deserve to be analyzed and observed for what they actually do for HIS character, and not just immediately cast aside as unnecessary or ooc.
So, to summarize:
Firstly, Ian wasn't selfish for not waiting 15 years for somebody in prison. Whether he was serious about Caleb or not, Ian was under no obligation to dedicate himself to Mickey. Ian did not owe Mickey anything simply because Mickey was there for Ian when shit got tough. If they had been together, sure, Ian would've been a lot shittier for leaving Mickey alone. But as it was, they were broken up, and even if they hadn't been, Ian would've had every right to not want to continue seeing Mickey after his decision to harm Sammi, just as Lip was justified in not wanting to be with Mandy anymore after she ran over Karen.
Secondly, Ian dating Caleb wasn't bad for his character. In fact, I think their relationship in season six was actually a very interesting way to progress Ian's character and get more insight into his mind and how he operates.
Thirdly, Ian and Caleb's relationship deserves to be analyzed for what it is, rather than what it isn't. Just because Ian is not with Mickey doesn't mean that he doesn't undergo some huge development in this season, both in and outside his relationship with Caleb. Furthermore, Ian entering a new relationship gives us the opportunity to see more sides of his character, and as such the relationship should be analyzed as it's own separate entity, and not just as a hurdle in the way of Gallavich.
Fourth, Ian was not just waiting to cast Mickey aside to jump on the next dick possible. I've seen this criticism before, and when looking at his actual arc at the beginning of S6 and analyzing his general character, that's just simply not true. Entering a new relationship is not equal to immediately disregarding Mickey.
TL;DR: The hate Ian gets from this season mainly stems from "Ian date somebody aside from Mickey, bad Ian" without any further thought behind why he enters the relationship and what the relationship actually means to him. There is no separation in the minds of fans between Ian and Mickey, and therefore, Ian having experiences and an identity outside of Mickey is negatively perceived.
Season Seven: Putting His Own Wellbeing First
This one will be less long winded than the previous one, because I have less to say on it, honestly.
During the entirety of Ian's bipolar arc, it is pretty clearly shown that to maintain mental wellness, Ian needs stability.
When Mickey shows up and asks Ian to run away with him to Mexico, that's threatening to uproot every amount of stability Ian has managed to secure the past two seasons of the show.
I honestly don't see as much hate directed toward Ian for his decision to leave Mickey at the border as I see for his previous decisions. I'd say the main thing I actually see directed toward this season is just that Ian's story is boring without Mickey in it. Mostly because he enters another new relationship with Trevor after his relationship with Caleb, which really just follows the cyclical Shameless cycle of, "Don't know what to do with a character? Give them a new love interest!" But because I talked about the judgement for non-Gallavich Ian relationships above, I don't particularly feel like doing a deep dive into the Ian and Trevor relationship in this meta.
What I want to talk about relates to the Mickey Mexico storyline, though, and that's the hate other characters recieve for trying to dissuade Ian from going.
After finding out that Mickey escaped from prison, Fiona and Ian have the following conversation:
"What are you doing up?"
"Couldn't sleep. You ever, uh, think about about what would've happened if you'd run off with Jimmy-Steve?"
"Lying sociopath Jimmy-Steve? My life would be a nonstop psycho-thriller. I definitely dodged a bullet with that one."
"What if nothing ever gives you that same thrill again? Still feel like you dodged a bullet?"
"I don't know. Probably. Where's this coming from?"
"Things have been weird between me and Trevor since Mickey got out."
"You mean since Mickey busted out of prison and has got half the Chicago Police Department circling the Southside looking for him."
"Can't get him out of my head. Just trying to stop myself from doing something I shouldn't."
"You turned your life around. Mickey would set a match to it. You've done really great without him, and I'm really fucking proud of you."
- Ian and Fiona, S7E10.
I've seen this conversation criticized many times because of how "unfairly" Mickey is treated in this scene. But I truly think that nothing said in this scene was wrong, and Fiona was 100% right.
In the past, Fiona has definitely shown a prejudice against the Milkovich family before. Specifically with Mandy, Fiona seems to look down upon her and disapproves of the relationship between her and Lip. This on its own is unfair treatment and is annoying to witness.
But in this particular case, absolutely nothing she is saying is wrong or biased simply because Mickey is a Milkovich.
People take the line, "Mickey would set a match to it," and compare it to his behavior in late Season 4 through season 5, where Mickey is taking care of Ian, and say that Fiona is being untruthful or hypocritical. If Mickey had never been sent to prison, or even if he had just been released legally, and Ian was simply thinking about cheating on Trevor and getting back with Mickey instead of running away with him, then the criticism toward Fiona would be more justified. But as it is, Mickey is a wanted fugitive, and Ian running away with him would make Ian a fugitive as well, and WOULD effectively set a match to the life Ian had spent the past two seasons working toward. He would be giving up a career he worked hard for and fought to have, he'd be living in stressful conditions on the run, he'd have no support system, and he would have less ease of access to his medication. Running with Mickey would have been the wrong decision for Ian's wellbeing, and honestly, Mickey should never have asked Ian to go with him.
I think that many people have rose colored glasses on when it comes to Gallavich, specifically with Mickey, and that makes it harder to view these moments unbiased. But, looking at it objectively, Mickey was so wrong for asking Ian to come with him to Mexico. He KNOWS that Ian needs stability with his bipolar diagnosis, and he KNOWS that this would be a stressful life he'd be forcing Ian into.
Simply put, he's acting selfishly in that moment. Having your own interests in mind is not always a bad thing, but in this specific case, Mickey would have thrown a huge wrench into Ian's life is Ian hadn't made decisions in HIS best interest.
Again, I have less to say on this as I did other subjects, because to me it feels much more cut and dry. Mickey was in the wrong here 100%, Fiona was not being wrongfully judgmental toward Mickey, and Ian was not in the wrong for not going with Mickey.
After so long of seeing them apart, it makes sense to want to see them together again. So when Ian, again, is the one making the decision to end their relationship, fans are going to lash out at him and those around him.
But it's important to put aside biases and allow your favorite character to be in the wrong occasionally. Mickey is not perfect, and criticism against him, both from characters in the show and fans, is not unfounded nor unjustified.
TL;DR: Mickey was wrong for asking Ian to uproot his life and run to Mexico, and calling that out isn't defamation of his character.
To End This Yap Session:
Ian is by no means a faultless character, and he is not exempt from criticism both inside and outside of his relationship with Mickey. However, I often feel that the criticism he faces is for the wrong reasons, and not much contemplation or exploration is done on him as much as it is for Mickey.
I love Mickey. He's an amazingly complex character, and his relationship with Ian is one of my favorite parts of the show. But in being a complex character, he is also an imperfect character.
I feel that many fans get very protective over their favorite characters, to the point that anything that goes against that character's interests is labeled as bad, and any criticism toward his character is disregarded immediately.
In this particular case of Gallavich, I feel that post season three, fans often see things from Mickey's point of view without looking at Ian's as much. This meta was simply to give my own thoughts on Ian's most "controversial" moments among fans. Obviously this is mostly condensed to season six and his relationship with Caleb, which I feel is the biggest example of jumping to conclusions and only seeing the surface level of his character.
However, I would like to acknowledge that Ian is also an insanely popular character in the Shameless fandom. While he is misunderstood in many instances, he is given much more sympathy and understanding than many other characters in the show, especially many of the female characters. This long-winded meta is only focused on the concerning tendency for fans to link Ian's identity to Mickey entirely without allowing him to be an individual, but a majority of the time he is still a beloved character who is treated favorably by fans. Compared to a character like Debbie, Ian sees much more support, and I feel that the energy I put toward this meta and trying to understand Ian should also be applied to (almost) EVERY character in the show.
Anyways feel free to leave thoughts.
#shameless#shameless meta#ian gallagher#mickey milkovich#monica gallagher#shameless caleb#shameless trevor#gallavich#does any of this really matter? no probably not cause at the end of the day its a silly tv show#but i find it personally interesting to think about so i made a long ass meta about it#but its seriously not that deep so fandom discussion is great#but if the stans take my post to twitter and grill me like my dbh meta i will get gen mad lol#also sorry to the ppl who follow me for dbh ive def fallen off that hyperfixation at this point in time#this could've been cleaned up a bit but ive had this in my drafts for like 3 weeks or more so
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compiled whatever this is (and I run out of tag space)
meh HoT gifs (3/?)
#alek gifs#ninjago#ninjago krux#ninjago acronix#hands of time#time twins#alternate title to this series is : stuff i noticed after watching this season 10 whole times#okay actually thats a lie. i realized this the 3rd time around#i think of acronix and how he barely makes any decisions for himself and i go crazy#ppl equate that with him feeling forced to do stuff.. uh hes always been a follower guys!!#cue him calling wu “master wu” even after the twins betrayal. him liking machia bc shes “mean” and bossy#he has no issue with following orders lol. prepare for a long acronix rant one day#contexts -> gif 1 barely counts i just wanted to include him looking at krux. he does this a lot during that fight#gif 2 is before they kill blunck and raggmunk (idk how to spell their names still ... sorry)#gif 3 is before they were going to kill wu in the golden hour legacy short. which is canon !!#gif 4 is before they sent themselves into the temporal vortex#that one post that was like “are we still doing revenge? yeah? cool” bc thats basically acronix#there is something fundamentally wrong with these two's brains but idk how to describe it#krux who literally lost his mind after losing his brother to the point he adopted an entire identity#“he just needed to go undercover!!” counter point as soon as acronix came back he was unable to pretend to be saunders. he acted super weird#like when kai was in the museum he couldnt pretend to be this person he wasnt. acronix was back !!! so was he. krux was 100% going to kill#the smith sibs if maya and ray didnt comply. also.. canonly they knew him when they worked as teachers back in s3. he watched them grow up#and pretended all was well meanwhile their parents were being forced to work and slave away to build the iron doom. he is not normal#then you have acronix who thrives off of violence and is described as throwing himself into battle like a blunt object. has no regard#for himself as a person and just takes (almost) everything his brother says as gospel. s7 couldve done smthn really cool with how#the only thing the twins ever really disagreed on was technology. also ive went on a semirant about how krux's hatred for tech was misplaced#hatred for losing acronix. wanted to travel to the pre modern era? okay well whyd he pick 40 years ago specifically. also NOTE that they#went back after their past selves had lost. they wouldve faired better if they went and helped their past selves. also the reversal blade#had already fallen so when the twins went back in time there was two kruxes. he literally went back to when he had been all alone for the#for the first time. he went back to when his life was ruined and his brother was gone!! but he had nix with him this time . ughdhf
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