#and the hate and horrible online behavior

[rainbowbeanstyles]

but like. the fact that the worst thing happened. how do you even accept that. 1/5 is gone.

[doberbutts]

So I'm going to ask an honest question here and ask you please explain in layman's terms. Every trans person I know irl has no concept of the transandrophobia discourse but every time I see more of it online I'm...unsettled, and it takes a lot to power through all the terminology.

I initially was really receptive to transandrophobia because the rationale behind being against it sounded stupid and akin to label discourse in the queer community. I saw "being a man is not an axis of oppression therefore you don't get your Own Word" and thought that was pedantic nonsense, that language doesn't need to adhere to that rule, and that it's helpful to have a term designated towards transmasculine experiences so people can find those experiences easier. Not that trans women's experiences aren't also beneficial! But that, well, obviously no matter how similar the experience birds of a feather and that sense of comfort of sharing identity still matters. This is true for other issues of identity too, I find, weather that's a good thing or a bad thing idk, but it is human.

The thing is I follow a lot of transwomen and have been seeing some alarms being raised about the community being formed around this word. You blocked one of the most egregious offenders so I trust you (which is why I'm asking sorry) I've seen a lot of misogyny and essentialism from people using the term "transandrophobia" and more egregiously "transmisandry." Idk your opinion on the latter term (I haven't scrolled down far enough on your blog, sorry if you talked about this before) but to me it's unconscionable. I was taught that transandrophobia existed as a term specifically NOT to use that term, that elevating misandry to a legitimate issue was dangerous for obvious reasons and it was one of the reasons why I was so supportive of transandrophobia. To me, it seemed like an awareness that misogyny was the prevailing issue behind all issues of gender oppression, but when I actually look at the tag I...get uncomfortable.

Blogs I follow have repeatedly been upset at misogyny from this community, and have been using the term "transandrobro" to describe behavior they find akin to cis MRAs. I've truly seen horrible things with hundreds, sometimes thousands of notes to it that do, unfortunately, feel like women are being blamed for the plight of trans men. I've seen cis people say they were originally on MRA reddits and then came to tumblr to "confront the misandry directly" only to wholeheartedly adopt transandrophobia into their worldview. It's hard because I KNOW I shouldn't judge a community based on a few crazies but it truly does feel sometimes like "transandrophobia" gives misogynists a venue to air their woman-hating to an eager audience, kinda like how "Karen" has been co-opted beyond the og meaning of being for racist white woman to any woman being mildly rude.

So like, here it is: can transandrophobia exist without being co-opted by misogynists? Is there a threshold of proliferation for misogynists destroying this word until a new one needs to be made? Or will every word trying to identify the transmasculine experience be inevitably co-opted by misogynists because misogynists are just that powerful, so people should double down harder on the word and work to push misogynists out?

(Also am I going crazy, or did this word a year ago used to have a WAY better community than the one I see nowadays. Back then I could find your blog and really compassionate people easily, and now it's just...bad.)

It is a little hard to understand some of this post but I will do my best to answer what I think is being asked.

To put simply, I think the reason why it was better a year or two ago is because the majority of the people who were actually trying to further the conversation and not just circle jerk in the echo chamber got chased off. Transandrophobia, anti-transmasculinity, transandromisia, transmascphobia... the guys who coined these are largely either not posting at all anymore or post far far less than they used to. They were harassed and the constant exposure to transphobia made them shut down their blogs for their own mental health. Not all of them, but a lot of the so-called "big names" had this happen.

Even I stopped posting for a while and shuttered the doors for a bit outside of a long queue of dog photos because of how much it was affecting my mental health.

In their place remain people who are not committed to the same conversation. Perhaps they are younger, or less familiar with the building blocks of theory that really should be required reading, or are still stuck in their "everything sucks and it's YOUR fault" phase. Maybe they do come from different places, like 4chan or reddit, which are less prone to this sort of discussion. A lot of the original crowd had been on tumblr long enough to remember when we could still edit posts, and I keep seeing people who would have been in elementary school at that time posting to the tag nowadays.

I was discussing this problem on discord with a small group of friends and one of them- a trans fem- called it second wave transandrophobia discourse as a bitter joke. I think she is more right than wrong, regardless.

I'm not sure who you believe I've blocked- in general I don't air out who I block on this blog because at nearly 12k followers there are too many people who would love to dogpile someone for the sin of disagreeing with me and I do my best to prevent that. I don't want anyone to be harassed, after all. There's a lot of assumptions that have been made about my block and follow behavior that vary from "hilarious but untrue" to "outright offensive slander".

People are people, and some people are shitheads. Trans mascs and people who want to support trans mascs are not exempt from that. I say this all the time- Kayne West is objectively a shitty person but his existence doesn't prove the concept of antiblackness to be a myth. Caitlyn Jenner is objectively a shitty person but her existence doesn't prove the concept of transmisogyny to be a myth. So why do shitty trans mascs prove our own theory to be dangerous or nonexistent? Why hold us to a higher standard than any other marginalized group?

I could ask you the same question- there are posts on here with hundreds, sometimes thousands, of notes made by trans fems and cis women who blame their problems with transmisogyny on trans mascs. There are people coming from reddit, Twitter, 4chan who are being actively transphobic and misogynistic and claiming they're doing it for the good of transfeminism. There are posts filled with misogyny and bioessentialism and gender essentialism and even interphobia and racism and transphobia being left completely unchecked. Do you think it would be acceptable for me to ask if that means transmisogyny theory should be abandoned or if we should just accept that it will draw people with bad intentions?

Or do you think the better answer is to focus instead on finding those with a good head on their shoulders, and making sure it's them who has their voice heard? Do you think we should maybe not judge entire demographics because there exists some shitty people who claim the same identity?

[bunny-jpeg]

https://www.tumblr.com/bunnys-kisses/768349619894861824/im-holding-your-hand-when-im-saying-this-as-a?source=share

people started asking crane (Max’s friend) on stream if Lestappen (Charles and max) is real. I think he was like “I shouldn’t be furthering/entertaining this” (I forgot what he said word for word). People took it as something to be excited about, that the drivers are aware of the ships and all, but idk. I think fandoms are getting too bold for my liking. I have no problem with shipping, but this parasocial behaviour is out of hand. I saw this when 1D was still a group (with Harry x Louis shippers harassing Louis to the point where he got so upset when the ship was referenced in the popular show Euphoria), I’ve seen it with Kpop in which idols have stopped hanging out publicly because fandoms get out of hand (a girl in the group Aespa had a boyfriend earlier this year and fans got very upset because they shipped her and another member and they broke up. A few years ago, 2 members of two different kpop groups (SNSD and EXO) dated and the girl got harassed at the airport even). And now this.

Fandoms get so parasocial so quickly, it’s insane. It’s not new behaviour, but it’s strange.

exactly, this isn't new behavior. but i feel like it's become more emboldened with how much more "online" both fans and companies/groups are.

more under the cut, because this is a long one....

i also think it ties into this notion that i've been seeing online about how fans have this feeling to be "right" both with rpf and fiction as well. that their theories, opinions and whatever else is "correct". i've seen this with like pieces of media like steven universe and even star wars. like fandom isn't fun anymore, it has become this weird one up over each other. i honestly don't know when this changed, my guess is around the pandemic when it seemed like people were more logged into the internet. but, i could be wildly off with that. (if you have an idea, i'd love to know). it just feels stupid in so many ways how fandoms are structured. even if you're not the "best" artist or writer, people can't have FUN in fandom - of course that doesn't mean it has to be absolved criticism. you can have fun and still call out hate within spaces. the issue with formula one (along with k-pop like you mentioned, anon), is that these aren't characters. this isn't arguing in the tags over is finnpoe or reylo is more valid or legitimate within the narrative. these are REAL people, with REAL friends, families and partners.

it's this weird push to have someone's theory - and while i have a soft spot for lestappen, it is at the end of the day nothing more than fan theory - be confirmed. also personally, if hattie (oscar's sister) or crane (max's friend) "outed" them, i would be horribly fucking offended on oscar/max's behalf. to have someone you TRUST just out you like that. it's sick. maybe it's because i worked in queer spaces from high school all the way through uni, and the number one rule no matter WHAT, is you never out someone. even if the question is harmless and the person asking has no ill intention. you never out another person, because it's not YOUR coming out. so the fact that fans are near begging these people to OUT their loved ones, is not only a level of delusion that i can't ever comprehend. but, also it could honestly, ruin that interpersonal relationship.

so like even if a driver is queer, whoever it may be. could be a driver from the 90s, could be a driver today, it could be a driver in five years, i don't want someone else in their life outing them. because that's THEIR story. and fans need to realize that. bothering crane or hattie or alexandra (i've seen that too) - isn't helping anyone and it makes you look unhinged and weirdly alienates not only the driver but their loved ones. YES, they knew it exists, it is EVERYWHERE. but shoving it in their faces doesn't help. and you're never going to get the confirmation because there is a high chance that their not even queer to begin with. and if they are, NOT OUR CONCERN

i don't have a problem writing or consuming rpf, it is not a crime nor do i think it should be stopped. like HAVE FUN. but you have to realize that it's not like debating star wars or marvel or whatever other piece of fictional media. formula one is REAL, they are not actors. they are athletes, and unless you want all rpf to be shut down some how. i suggest the likes of some of ya'll need to understand that there are different boundaries. and respect them.

i know they're all millionaires, but they still breathe and bleed as a friend of mine once said. it's fun to put them in little scenarios in fanworks, but just keep it out of their direct attention. there are unspoken boundaries, that some of ya'll need have said to you apparently.

asking oscar issac if he THINKS that finnpoe is real is VERY different than asking someone's sister if she thinks her REAL LIFE BROTHER is fucking his REAL LIFE TEAMMATE. - people's relationships have turned to ash over insistent rpf in their faces all the time.

my advice at the end of the day is: have fun, don't write or draw it because you want confirmation that it's a real relationship. write or draw it because you're having fun. fandom is about making friends and shipping in whatever context is about finding a slice of community on the vast internet, not cracking the code of if it is a real relationship. - bunny.

[sephirthoughts]

You're a proshipper and you advertise it in your bio? Do you ship incest and pedo shit?

it's actually a very common misconception, because the misconception has been intentionally perpetuated by antis, that proship means "problematic" or that a person who says they are proship personally ships anything that antis specifically don't like, which can include things like age gaps, incest, etc. they might or they might not. that is not even part of the definition.

today's vocabulary lesson:

proship: literally pro (supporting, in favor of) shipping (imagining fictional relationships between characters for funsies).

anti or antiship: has a lot of rage and few brain cells, attacks people from behind the safety of online anonymity, wants to control other people's thoughts and feelings in order to soothe the constant inexplicable feelings of rage and panic that torment them day and night, loves puritanism, fascism, ultra-right conservatism, censorship, hate, bullying, causing harm to other humans, and hurting real people, all under the banner of a completely fake self-righteous cause, to excuse themselves from culpability for their horrible, cruel, mean-spirited, hateful, harmful, ultra-conservative fundamentalist fascist behavior.

so, what we have learned today is that all proship actually means is live and let live, don't harass, don't attack, don't cause harm to real people over fictional imaginary playtime stuff.

but to answer your question hell yeah i do fictional incest is hot af

have a blessed day!! 💖

[octahyde]

Groomer in the TWST Fandom

The post in question is going around again, and as someone who was groomed in online fandoms in high school it makes me absolutely fucking livid that they got away with it the first time.

(Please note that I got Doom’s consent before posting this because it indirectly involves them.)

@_snooboots on twitter has publicly groomed minors.

Sno wrote a thread calling out another user, which I am seeing go around again. The thread has plenty of issues (in certain areas they can have legal action taken against them for cyberstalking, speaking from direct experience), but there’s one in particular that sticks out to me.

The most pressing and disturbing part, however, is that they tagged children in uncensored pornographic images.

(as you can see based on the first screenshot, the censorship in the second and third images were added by me.)

After posting several screenshots, many of which had sexual images along with this literal pornography, Sno ends it with tagging several minors (and one adult):

Note that Sno is 19. Also note that the youngest user tagged is fourteen years old, a literal middle schooler.

Though 16 and 19 may not seem like a major age difference where grooming can take place (in many contexts it isn’t!), there are still cases where it can be. Case in point: I started being groomed by a 19 year old online when I was 16, and it lead to horrible, horrible things happening to me once I turned 18.

The amount of similarities this thread has to my own experiences with being groomed at that age is, point blank, extremely fucking uncomfortable. Though mine was in a slightly different context (it being sent as a “joke”), it was still being told Look How Bad This Porn is. Likewise, if Sno really cared, they would have taken 10 seconds to censor the screenshots before posting, like how I did.

Again, it’s important to note: these images were originally posted on a private account where minors could not access them. They were only made publicly and exposed to children when Sno reposted them.

When called out for sending porn to real life minors, they chose to double down:

Apparently tagging children in a twitter thread with graphic, uncensored pornography because “they asked” is “the right thing”. (Note also that they admit they had also exposed these kids to this prior on a locked account, which is very Normal behavior and opens up the possibility that this isn’t the first time they’ve “called someone out” doing this, but that’s just speculation.)

And again, I would like to reiterate, which Sno themself corroborates in these screenshots: these images were originally posted on a locked account, where only adults Doom knew were allowed in. Sno was the one who posted these images publicly.

I’ve been angry and hurt by this since this thread was first posted. Doom deliberately kept these images away from children. In contrast, this person sent the images to children whom would never see them otherwise to “call them out”. Sno absolutely should not or have gotten away with this.

(Also, as a footnote: do not use this post to start some proshipper vs anti tribalism bullshit. While I’m not that anon, I do absolutely hate both sides equally and both do this kind of thing on a regular basis.)

(EDIT: not that it means much at this point but it was pointed out that I was kinda uhhhh a huge hypocrite with the original screenshot of the thread! That’s been censored now too.)

[khaire-traveler]

As a devotee of Demeter, I sometimes feel that people only worship Persephone for the aesthetic.

I feel horrible for saying and thinking that but I can't help but feel that way. Certain pagans portray Persephone as some overpowered Mary Sue, downplaying the importance of her mother and sometimes even her husband.

I feel like people really ignore her as a agrarian deity. They claim to love her but feel the need to change everything about her - if you need to change her did you ever like her in the first place?

It honestly just feels like they're talking about a Wattpad main character instead of a religious figure at times it's so jarring to me. Imagine if someone on tiktok described their deity as a dark and daddy figure bad boy with piercings and then its literally just Jesus Christ.

And its not just Persephone, it's the whole pantheon! Some worshippers talk about the deities and their myths like characters and tropes from a telenovela. They are rarely treated like religious figures, they are more than just their myths.

Im sorry i just wanted a place to complain and see if i am not alone

---

Khaire, Nonny,

Honestly, I agree with this sentiment. I've seen this time and time again where Persephone, and many other deities, get "fandomized" which can be problematic for others, even if it's ok in that individual's practice. Sometimes it feels like our religion isn't taken seriously, even by the people who actively practice it, but I also understand that people have different forms of practicing that work better for them. It's frustrating, however, when Persephone is depicted as this Mary Sue characterization of her where she's seen as, like, super edgy, badass, and powerful in a really fandomized way. It comes across as this person using Persephone as an avenue of self-expression rather than worshipping who she actually is as a deity (not to say she's not badass or powerful, to clarify). While it's ok to use a deity as an avenue for self-expression in worship (some trans folk, for example, view Apollon as trans-masc, and it actively plays a role in their worship), it's a lot less ok when you're making this deity into a cartoonish characterization of themselves. The gods present themselves differently to people, but I don't know; I guess I find it far-fetched to believe that Persephone would present herself in this sort of way. I can't speak for her, obviously, but I just disagree with this interpretation of who she is as a deity - putting herself above others, hating her mom, being a rebellious "wild child". I think that, psychologically speaking, some people might just find comfort in this representation of her and see themselves in it which is likely why they gravitate towards it. It's fine to have that experience, but I STRONGLY encourage these people to actually read the myths about Persephone, do the research on how she was worshipped, and actively try to better understand where she actually came from as a deity because this isn't just a character in a show that you relate to; this is a goddess that you're trying to worship, no?

Some people finding more success in their practice with this representation doesn't negate the harm these misconceptions and misinformation can cause. I've met multiple people who believe that Persephone willingly fled to the Underworld to "escape" Demeter (which is untrue), and that is endlessly frustrating to me, especially due to the cultural importance of the Hymn to Demeter (the myth of Persephone being kidnapped). The gods are not their myths, in my experience, but their myths still hold a heavy importance in the way they were worshipped in the past, and the way we worship them in the present. Demonizing an entire deity is the equivalent of trying to cancel a constellation of stars; it's pointless, extremely bizarre, and very "online" behavior.

But yeah, I think some people care more about the "character" than they do the deity, and I will say that confidently. I've met people who "ship" deities with each other, who make their experiences with deities sound - as you said - like a telenovela, and who actively spread harmful misinformation about deities in a way that legitimately disgusts and disturbs me. I've once had someone tell me that a deity [insert reprehensibly immoral act here] them, and to this day, I still cannot believe they said that to me when I was a beginner, just to dissuade me from worshipping that deity. The lengths some people will go to drag a deity is honestly both sad and ridiculous.

I wish some people took the religion more seriously in the sense that they didn't just make random shit up about deities, actively disrespect and disregard the culture the deities stem from, and demonize some deities while bolstering others. It shows a level of immaturity and indifference towards the culture these deities come from. It's not a fandom; it's a way of worship.

---

✨ Bonus round!! ✨

Some ridiculous things I've heard people say that sound like a fandom and/or telenovela (I will put the phrases in "" to express that these are things I've heard, not things I'm saying or believe in):

"Hermes and Aphrodite constantly gossip to each other about the other gods. No one fucks with Hermes because he knows everyone's dirty laundry."

"Ares is starting a revolution on Mount Olympus against Zeus to take the throne." (Yes, I have really heard this)

"Hermes is starting a revolution on Mount Olympus against Zeus to take the throne." (Yes, I have really heard this, too)

"XYZ deity has done [insert reprehensibly immoral and highly traumatic act here] to me."

"I caught XYZ deity cheating on their spouse in the astral realm, and I'm going to tell their spouse."

"The reason the gods haven't been communicating as much lately is because Hades ran away from Mount Olympus (?) and Hekate is going after him. Everyone is panicking a little bit."

"Zeus is such a playboy." (Bruh, do you really have beef with a thousands of years old god who came from an extremely patriarchal society? What, are you trying to cancel him?)

"Poseidon is such a playboy." (Now this take is wild; I don't really understand where it came from at all)

"Apollo is such an UwU 👉👈 shy boy! He's so cute and flustered all the time." (???)

"Persephone has a lot of emotional trauma from Demeter, who was extremely controlling." (No. No for so, so many reasons.)

"Apollo is a himbo."

People say the darnedest things. You really have to wonder what possesses someone to talk about religious figures in such a way, but you know what, if it works for their practice, then good for them. I'm not a big fan of the fandomization of the gods, and I definitely agree with you, Nonny. I won't say these people don't love these deities, but I can understand where you're coming from. It feels like they love the deities in an obsessive fan type of way sometimes, but that's not for me to say, really.

[matty-bear]

Could you write a fluffy fic where nick is insecure because of the hate online and his boyfriend (the reader) comforts him?

I love your writing btw<33

Insecure [N.S]

type: request !

pairing: nick sturniolo x male!reader

warnings: SFW, fluff, angst, slightly suggestive ?? (these parts are towards the end) negative self image talk, mentions of hate, fat-shaming, and slurs (last two are not specified they’re just mentioned !)

summary: after coming over to visit nick, you immediately notice his off behavior. your boyfriend reassures you that nothing is wrong and that he’s fine but when he comes back crying after filming a car video with his brothers, the truth finally comes out 

notes: hope this fulfills your request ! i enjoyed writing this even tho it was quite upsetting :3 best believe that if i see someone being hateful towards nick i wont hesitate to clap back 🔥 some people need to grow up and stop hiding behind screens when they post hateful shit . they’re just pussies 😒

WC: 4675

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＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　 ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊ ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　 ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊ ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚

One thing you must know about Nick is that he is very expressive and is not scared of being himself. You could easily be able to tell how he was doing emotionally just by his facial expressions and body language. (This also meant that he was horrible at hiding things from you. This includes feelings and surprises and such) 

Which is why when you suddenly caught onto his off and quiet demeanor the day you came over to his place to hang out, you immediately knew something was wrong. 

 ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

It’s currently Thursday afternoon and you were gathering your belongings to head over to Nick’s. You knew that he and his brothers would be filming later today so you decided to head over to theirs as soon as possible. 

You also heavily missed your boyfriend even though you saw him two days ago. 

After slipping your headphones around your neck and making sure you have your phone in your possession, you grab your car keys and head outside. The sun immediately began to shine in your face the moment you stepped foot outside and you couldn’t help but squint as a result. After making sure your front door is locked, you walk to your car and get in the driver's seat. A soft huff escapes your lips as you start the car and adjust the AC with your right hand. When everything's to your liking, you finally start your short venture to the Sturniolo household. 

It only took 15 minutes until you were pulling up in the all too familiar driveway holding a black minivan. You can’t help the smile growing on your face as you hurriedly turn the car off and exit your vehicle. As you walk up to the front door, you take your phone out of your pocket to text Nick that you’re here. However, before you get the chance to open y’all’s chats, the door opens. 

You quickly lift your head, your eyes slightly wide, before you relax at the sight of Matt greeting you with a small smile. “Hey.” The brunette greets, stepping aside to let you in. 

“How’d you know I was here?” You ask as you step inside the house, the faint scent of fast food immediately filling your senses. 

“Heard your car pull up.” You hum faintly and nod your head at the male before the two of you start walking up the steps. “I smell food. What did y'all order?” 

“Chris was craving a ‘Mcdonalds' breakfast’ so I ordered some.” You can’t help but chuckle at the sight of Matt doing air quotations. “We have some leftovers so if you're hungry you can help yourself to whatever’s left.” 

“How much did you guys order if there’s leftovers?” An airy chuckle escapes your lips as you follow Matt to the kitchen, a single eyebrow raising as you glance at the two McDonald’s bags on the table. 

“Not much, just our regular. Nick hasn’t eaten yet so that’s probably why we have leftovers.” 

You quickly whip your head around to send Matt a worried expression as he excuses himself to go to the fridge. “Nick hasn’t eaten yet?” You ask as you open one of the bags. 

“Nope,” Matt replies with a soft huff. “He’s been in his room since this morning.” 

You hum softly as you close the bag you’re looking into. “This is Nick’s right?” When Matt looks over in your direction, you gesture to the bag in front of you. 

“Yup, that’s his.” 

“Alright, ima head up to his room and see if he’s hungry.” 

“Word. We’re going to film earlier than usual today so make sure he’s ready by five thirty.” 

“Will do.” Matt sends you a small smile before he grabs a root beer from the fridge and walks towards his bedroom. As the brunette enters his room, you make your way upstairs to go to Nick’s. The moment you arrive at your boyfriend’s door, your eyebrows furrow together when you don’t hear a single thing coming inside. Usually the male would be playing music out loud or watching a show but all you heard was silence. 

You hesitantly rest your hand on the doorknob and open the door with a soft creek, your features immediately getting illuminated by the LED lights in the room. 

“Nick?” You call as you step inside the room. You gently shut the door behind you as your eyes scan the room in search of your boyfriend. 

Where the hell is Nick?

“Nick~” You call again, dragging out his name as you set the bag in your hand down on the desk nearby. When you glance over at the closed bathroom door, you let out a sigh of relief when you see light creeping out from underneath the door. You quickly make your way over to the room and gently knock on the wood. “Nick? Are you in here?” 

The sudden sound of something clattering to the floor startles you and you instinctively take a step back. 

“Yeah, I- Hold on.” You hear Nick say, his voice muffled due to the shut door. More clattering runs through your ears before the faint sound of footsteps approaches the door. You quickly lift your head when the door opens and you can’t help the smile creeping onto your lips when you see Nick peek his head out from behind the door. 

“Hi, baby.” You greet softly. 

“Hi.” Nick breathes. Once the male fully opens the door, you quickly walk up to him and cup his face. You gently caress your thumbs over the redhead’s soft skin and forming stubble on his chin, your eyes momentarily shifting up to his blue irises.

“Have you eaten yet?” You ask, knowing the answer already as you land a quick peck on your boyfriend’s lips. At the redhead’s silence, you send the male a worried look and gently grab his chin with your thumb and pointer finger to make him look up at you. “Baby?” 

“I’m not hungry right now,” Nick mumbles, avoiding eye contact as he looks down at the hem of the sweater hanging on your shoulders. 

“You feeling sick or anything? It’s not like you to skip a meal.” As you set your hand on your boyfriend’s forehead to check his temperature, the boy quickly shakes his head. 

“No, I feel fine.” Nick sends you a small smile as you lower your hand. 

“Alright… Well, I brought you your food from the kitchen so if you’re hungry, it’ll be on your desk.” 

Nick hums softly and slowly peels out of your hold to walk to his bed. You can’t help but furrow your eyebrows at the male’s action and turn on your heels to watch the redhead climb into bed and bring his covers up to his shoulders. 

“Baby, what’s wrong?” You ask gently as you make your way over to Nick and take a seat on the mattress. Your boyfriend doesn’t respond and instead moves up to rest his head in your lap. He tilts his head a little so he can dig his face into your thigh, a heavy sigh escaping him as his shoulders drop. A frown makes its way into your lips as you gaze down at Nick. 

Something is definitely wrong but you know prying would get you nowhere. 

“Sweetheart, you wanna get up real quick so I can move into a more comfortable position?” Nick hums faintly and sits up to allow you to climb into bed. After comfortably situating yourself against the headboard, Nick immediately lays in your lap again. Your hand instinctively goes into the male’s red locks, your fingers carefully detangling some strands as they card through his hair. A content hum can be heard from the male in your lap as you quietly continue your actions.

“I missed you.’ Nick mumbles against your clothed thigh.

“I missed you too.” You say softly, a smile making its way onto your lips. 

“Can you stay with me tonight?” 

“Tonight?”

“Mh-hmm.”

“Yeah, of course. I’ll just have to go back to my place to get a change of clothes.” Nick quickly lifts his head the moment the statement leaves your lips. You peer down at the boy and raise an eyebrow at him when he narrows his eyes at you. “What? Did I say something wrong?”

“Don't act like you can't sleep in my clothes.” You chuckle softly as Nick lies back down. He takes a moment to dig his face in your thigh and comfortable before he continues, “I already put aside some stuff for you in the closet.”

“Did you now?”

Nick nods his head. “Your favorite hoodie is part of the pile. I seriously can't wrap my head around the fact that you can sleep in a hoodie without overheating.”

“I definitely overheat but I just like how your clothes smell.” 

“You're fucking weird for that.” Nick lets out a surprised laugh when you jab your hand into his side. You watch with narrowed eyes as the redhead rolls off your lap and sits up, the blanket that was once at his shoulders falling to his lap. “Don’t do that!”

“Don't call me weird.” 

“Well, you kinda are-” Nick gets cut off by you reaching over and grabbing his shoulders. The male lets out a small surprised yell as you force him down onto his back, his eyes widening when you hover over him. Before your boyfriend gets the chance to say anything, an anxious spew of giggles bubbles up his throat when you latch onto his sides. ‘Okay, OKAY! I take it back! Get off!”

“Are you just taking back what you said because I’m threatening you?”

“Well obviously… Now get your paws off me.”

A dramatic gasp escapes your lips as you gaze down at Nick. “PAWS?? Alright, you know what...”

“Wait, WAIT!’ Nick quickly grabs onto your hands and pries them off his body before you get the chance to do anything. “I’m messing with you!”

You hum lowly and narrow your eyes at the redhead. “Let go.” You state flatly.

“Promise not to touch me!” 

“I won’t touch you.” 

“Promise it!” 

You sigh and hang your head low, a smile creeping onto your lips. “Fine.” You huff. “I promise I won’t touch you.” 

“Okay…” Nick says slowly. He hesitantly releases his strong grip on your wrists and the moment you’re free, you plop down on top of him. Nick lets out a faint grunt the moment you do so and immediately wraps his arms around you. “God you're heavy.” You heavily sigh and dig your hand into Nick’s side the second that statement escapes his lips, your action immediately drawing panicked giggles from the male. 

“OKAY, OKAY!” The redhead exclaims through giggles. Nick begins to squirm underneath you and quickly grabs onto your shoulders. “You fucking liar knock it off!” Nick’s giggles ring through your ears as he curls his body around your hand, both his hands continuously shoving your shoulders to get you up and off him. You continue your actions for a few more seconds before you stop and wrap both your arms behind the redhead’s back. A large smile spreads across your lips as Nick heavily pants and throws an arm over his face, a few giggles still escaping his lips. 

“That’s low,” Nick mumbles. 

“You were being an ass.” You say with a shrug as you slip an arm out from underneath the male to fiddle with one of the strings of his hoodie. “You should be thanking me to be honest.” 

“THANKING YOU?!” You clamp your hand over Nick’s mouth at his loud exclamation. 

“No need to yell, I'm right here.” You scold softly. 

“Sorry,” Nick mumbles, his speech muffled due to your hand still being over his mouth. Once you remove your hand, the redhead huffs and frowns. “Again, thanking you?” 

“Yes, thanking me.” As you rest your chin on Nick’s chest, the latter stares down at you with a confused expression. “You were clearly upset when I came in.”

“Oh.” 

You lift your head slightly to lock eyes with Nick. “Is something wrong? You can tell me, you know. It’s not like I’ll judge.” You watch as Nick forces his lips into a straight line and averts his gaze to anywhere but you. After watching the male looking around the room aimlessly, you sigh softly and rest your head back down on his chest. “You don't have to tell me.” You say, your speech muffled due to the thick fabric of the hoodie covering Nick's body. 

“Sorry,” Nick mumbles, his hand gently resting on the top of your head. 

“Don’t apologize, there’s no need to. You can tell me whenever you’re ready.” You momentarily lift your head to land a quick peck on Nick’s lips before you return to lying on his chest. “By the way.” You start, earning a small hum from Nick. “Matt said to be ready by five thirty so you guys can film.” 

“Alright,” Nick says softly as he leans back against the pillow he’s lying on. “Can we nap real quick? You know, before I have to go?” 

“I was hoping you’d say that your warmth is making me tired.” You reply, your words slurring together as your eyes drift shut. You don’t even hear Nick’s response and only manage to feel his hand rubbing circles on your back before you drift off to sleep. 

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

LoveGame by Lady Gaga plays in your headphones as you make your way to the living room, a small pack of fruit snacks in your left hand and a can of coke in the other. You find yourself bopping your head along to the song, your lips mouthing the lyrics, as you seat yourself down on the sofa. 

The triplets have been out for about an hour and a half to film their new car video. You quickly became bored out of your mind being alone in the empty and silent house and you had to figure out a way to entertain yourself as you waited for the boys to come back. 

And that’s exactly what you’re doing right now. 

You shift your body a little so you're comfortably lying on your back before you rip open the fruit snacks. As you pop a few in your mouth, you fail to hear the front door opening, the loud music playing in your ears being the culprit. 

You also failed to see the triplets walk into the living room. 

That was until you felt a tap on your knee. You quickly sit up at the small touch and rip the headphones off your head, the music still somewhat audible as you rest them around your neck. You immediately make eye contact with Chris who looks down at you with a worried expression. 

“What’s wrong? Is everything alright?” You ask, an uneasy feeling settling in your stomach as you lock eyes with the male in front of you. 

Chris raises a hand to rub the back of his nape, his lips forming into a straight line before he replies, “Nick’s crying.” 

You feel your heart drop the moment the sentence escapes the brunette's mouth and you find yourself urgently standing up, the pack of fruit snacks and can of soda being long forgotten on the floor and couch cushion. 

“Where is he?” 

“Matt’s room.” You gently nod your head and make a break for the middle triplet’s bedroom, which is thankfully a few steps away. You knock on the door a few times to alert the people inside of your arrival before you let yourself inside. The moment you step foot inside, your eyes land on your boyfriend sitting on the edge of the bed and furiously rubbing his eyes. Matt is sitting on the left side of the male and pulls Nick into his chest, one of his hands immediately going to rub comforting circles on his back. 

You practically run over to the two boys and crouch down in front of Nick, a worried expression painting your face when you hear the male faintly sobbing. You momentarily shift your gaze from your boyfriend to Matt, who’s sharing the same worried and concerned look on his face before you turn back to Nick. You slowly set a hand on the latter’s knee and go to pull away when the male flinches at the sudden touch. 

“Baby?” You call softly, your thumb gently caressing Nick’s clothed kneecap. The redhead turns his head slightly and makes a small gap in between his fingers to look at you. “Can you move your hands, please? I wanna see your face, sweetheart.” 

Nick furiously shakes his head and goes back to tucking his head against Matt’s chest. You sigh faintly and lean forward to rest your chin on your boyfriend’s thigh. As you gaze up at the boy, you catch the redhead looking down at you, a larger gap being made between his pointer and middle finger. You manage to make out Nick’s irritated red eyes before he sits up and attempts to cover his whole face with one hand, the other reaching for yours to firmly hold. 

“Can you come up here, please?” Nick asks, his voice fragile and quiet as he squeezes your hand a few times. 

“Yes, of course.” You reply and quickly get up from your position. As you go to sit next to Nick, you make eye contact with Matt who’s gazing up at you. 

“Will you two be okay if I leave?” The male mouths. The moment you nod your head and ruffle Matt’s hair a little, the brunette slowly gets up from his spot on the bed and quietly exits the room. After ensuring the male shuts the door behind him, you take a seat next to Nick. The moment your boyfriend feels the mattress dip next to him, he immediately crashes into you, his face burrowing into your clothed chest. You slip your hand out of Nick’s hold to envelop the male in a tight embrace, your heart shattering into a million small pieces when you feel your shirt dampening. 

Nick slithers his arms around your torso, his nails digging into your back as he silently cries against you. You allow the male to get all his feelings out as you rub comforting circles on his back with one hand and card your fingers through his hair with the other. It took a few more minutes of comfort for Nick’s cries to subside and soft sniffles to emit from him. You wait for your boyfriend to remove himself from your chest and hesitantly look up at you before you look at him. 

“Oh, baby…” You mumble, your heart aching as you take in Nick’s puffy, red eyes and tear-stained cheeks. You cup the side of the redhead's face with one hand and keep the other on his back before you begin to gently caress the male’s damp cheek. “Are you comfortable with telling me what happened?” 

“Mh-hmm.” Nick hums, his eyes shutting as he fully leans into your palm. The male enjoys your delicate touch for a moment longer before he speaks up. “I saw some comments yesterday and they stuck to me. I saw more when we were filming today too. I’m usually able to handle hate comments because they’re fucking ridiculous and stupid but these hurt.”

“What were they saying if you mind me asking?” 

“Most were fat-shaming me and others were calling me slurs. I haven’t been called a slur in a while so I’m guessing that’s why it stuck. But you know how self-conscious and insecure I am about my body so seeing people nitpick at that stuff just…” Nick cuts himself off as more tears well up in his eyes. You frown deeply and quickly wipe the warm liquid escaping the redhead’s eyes before they cascade down his face. “It just made me feel more bad about myself.” 

“Sweetheart, can you do something for me?” You ask softly. Nick gently nods his head and sniffles as he wipes his eyes with the back of his hand. “Can you lay down? On your back?” 

“Mh-hmm…” Nick hesitantly hums and moves back on the bed so he’s no longer on the edge before he lays on his back. After the male shuffles a bit to get comfortable, you crawl up and reach your arm over to rest it on the side of Nick’s shoulder. After situating yourself so you're hovering over your boyfriend, you bite back the smile threatening to form on your lips as you take in Nick’s shocked and flustered expression. “If you want to make out, I refuse to do it in Matt’s room.” 

“We’re not gonna make out, hun.” 

“Then what are you doing?” 

“Can you just trust me?” 

Nick puts his hands up defensively and rests them on both sides of his head. You shake your head slightly before you lean down and begin to land soft pecks on Nick’s forehead. You slowly make your way down the side of your boyfriend’s face and make a trail of light kisses across his jaw, stopping near his right ear. You feel Nick shift underneath you, both his arms lowering and coming up to latch onto your shoulders. You take a glance over at your boyfriend and smile smugly when you see him squeeze his eyes shut, his lips forced into a thin line. You focus back on what you're doing and land a few kisses on the shell of Nick’s ear, a stifled chuckle escaping you when the male squeals softly and forces his ear against his shoulder. 

“What are you doing?” Nick giggles, his nails digging into your biceps. 

“Stay still.” You state, completely ignoring the redhead’s question as you continue your trail of kisses down the side of his neck. Nick subconsciously tilts his head back to give you more access to his skin as you litter his entire neck with kisses for a few more seconds. You stay on a specific spot near the side of your boyfriend’s neck for a moment and take his skin in between your teeth. 

“Baby,” Nick says warningly, a faint whine escaping his lips as you nibble on his skin. 

“I’m moving, I'm moving.” You mumble against his skin. You stay true to your words and begin a trail of kisses down Nick’s clothed chest. You shift down to continue to kiss down the redhead’s torso and both of his sides. “You know…” You start, lifting your head to make sure your boyfriend hears your voice clearly. “I love every single part of your body. Every inch of it. I find you so fucking perfect.” You lower your head back down to Nick’s hips, your lips continuing to leave a trail of pecks down his leg. 

You grab one of the male’s knees and push it up to allow yourself to leave longer kisses around your boyfriend’s thigh. You feel Nick tense, followed by his breath hitching, when you inch up closer to his thigh. When you get a little close to his crotch, you switch over to his other leg and repeat the same process you did moments ago. Once you get to Nick’s knee, you decide to tease the male a little by nibbling on his kneecap. The redhead lets out a surprised shout and immediately erupts into giggles as he pulls his leg away from your reach. 

“Sorry, I had to.” You apologize with a giggle. 

“Of course you and you. You can’t let me breathe for five minutes.” Nick huffs, his arms crossing over his chest. 

“Oh, please.” You latch onto Nick’s thigh and drag him back to his original position before you crawl up so you’re face-to-face with him. You send your boyfriend a small smile before you dip your face into his neck and start another trail of kisses down his shoulder and left arm. When you get to his wrist, you quickly do the same with the other arm. Before you lift your head, you nibble the skin on Nick’s shoulder and smile into his skin when he whines and shoves your shoulder. You pull back with a small chuckle and capture Nick’s lips for a quick kiss. When you pull back, you cup the side of his face with one hand and keep the other on the side of his shoulder to keep yourself up. 

“Baby?” You call as you begin to gently caress your boyfriend's cheek with your thumb. 

“Yeah?” Nick replies as he blinks up at you, a stupid smile on his lips as he leans into your touch. 

“Those people are fucking douchebags for leaving those comments. All they’re trying to do is tear you down and see you all down in the dumps. You don’t want them to win this stupid game, right?” Nick furiously shakes his head. “I know it’s hard to ignore all of the hate comments but I can guarantee that not a single one of these people will have the balls to say this shit to your face. And if one of them does, I will happily rock their shit because they have no right to say all these things about you. I think you are perfect in every way possible. I love your eyes, your nose, your smile, God how much I adore your smile, your tattoos, your hair, your arms which are getting a little buff if I may add.” 

When you remove your hand from Nick’s face to squeeze his bicep, the male smiles widely and lightly hits your arm. “I know I don’t see your bare body much since you like to have something covering your torso at all times but I am sure that you look fucking perfect.” You move your hand down and land a few pokes on Nick’s stomach. The sound of him laughing softly brings a smile to your lips and you quickly halt your actions when the male grabs your wrists. “Your laugh is perfect as well. It’s so cute and contagious.” 

“Alright…” Nick says, his voice trailing off as he looks to the side. 

“Do you not think so?” You ask, a single eyebrow-raising. Nick hesitantly shakes his head and looks at you. “Well, I think it’s perfect and I'm not taking a no for an answer.”  Nick sighs, knowing he can’t say anything that’ll change your mind and release you from his hold. When your wrists are free from his grasp, you lay down on top of the male and wrap an arm underneath him. “Also, one more thing.” 

“What is it?” Nick lifts his head to lock eyes with you. 

“I’m gonna post something on my story later to shut these fuckers up.” 

“y/n…” 

“You can’t change my mind.” You send Nick a large smile before you land a quick peck on his lips. After nibbling on his bottom lip, you pull back and rest your chin on his chest, and gaze into his eyes. Seeing that you’re staring intently at him, Nick grows flustered and covers his face with one hand and uses the other to softly push your face away. 

“Stop staring,” Nick mumbles. 

“I can’t help it, you're so pretty.” You can’t help but smile widely when Nick giggles and looks away. You gently pry the male’s hands away from his face and cup his face, the sight of his flustered face causing your smile to widen even more. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” 

“Mmm… Not as much as I do, I'm afraid.” 

“Really? You wanna bet on it?”

“Absolutely.” Nick hums softly and grabs the base of your neck to pull you close and crash his lips onto yours. You let out a small noise of surprise at the male’s sudden action however you quickly melt into the kiss. Before you allow yourself to get too absorbed in the kiss, you pull back. 

“Is that watermelon?” 

“Yeah.” 

“It tastes fucking amazing.” The second that sentence escapes your lips, you quickly plant your lips back on Nick’s to resume the small, yet somewhat heated make-out session. 

·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:· TagList ·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:·

@freshloveforthefit @nickuniversity @patscorner @frankdelreyy @sturnssan @kileybankzz @robins-scoop

[k9emote]

Hello everyone , this is Jake/Caede ! You know me as K9emotes :)

I need to address something that has been detrimental to my mental health as of these past few months; the rumors surrounding my community and me.

I often hear from outside sources that people are telling other creators or members that I am a bad, toxic, or a drama causing person. I genuinely do not understand where this came from.

I started posting my art online and making a community to recover from a recent abusive relationship that crushed my state of self. I needed a healthy distraction and socialization so that I wouldn’t recluse and bedrot, as that was my usual response to things going wrong. I posted my art for others to cope and gently recover my mind, and it has been so wonderful meeting people and getting to show others my adoration for art.

but as my community has grown, I have made mistakes. With how unstable I have been lately, I have hurt people. I have assumed things and acted out because of it. I have done things I shouldn’t have, and I take responsibility for that.

The only issues in my community from the top of my mind, I will explain in full for all to see.

1. There was an issue where a user in my server was trying to claim that the term “FP” was BPD exclusive. I do not believe in this for lots of reasons I won’t go too far into, but to make it short; excluding other clusterB disorders from incredibly few medically and socially recognized symptoms hurts the entirety of clusterB and isn’t right. It’s internally ableist and I don’t stand for that. If you disagree, cool!!!! but leave my blog alone please

I grew frustrated as I felt ignored and demonized by this person, and spoke passive aggressively. I was triggered heavily and made bad choices with how I spoke. I was passive aggressive. That is it. I did not threaten, curse, wish harm on, or purposefully upset this person.

I struggled with tone through the conversation, and then banned the member and tried to move on. That is all that happened. I apologized to said person publicly about my behavior, and they were unbanned once educated on the subject. However, a person that this user knew acted out and said extremely hateful things about me and my staff team even after the situation had calmed down and was made up. They commented on me sexually, saying my ADULT STAFF MEMBER was “Jacking me off” by being my friend. I am sixteen years old. I am a child. The person who made that comment is 19, and never apologized. They then went to a friends server and tried to defend themselves and further attack me and my staff. They have done nothing but harass and throw fits, even after the entire situation was resolved and agreed upon.

2. There was a huge outburst of people using number names in my server without being RAMCOA survivors. Number names are closed for people who have gone through number programming. I explain it like a closed culture because for my own safety I’d rather not go into the torture aspects of it !!!! I sent out lots of educational announcements for my server, posted resources, helped correct people politely ect. I tried my very best to remain calm and helpful even while being triggered on the daily around my past childhood torture for almost a week straight. Some members were banned from my community for refusing to be educated or making up excuses on why they should be allowed to use number names while not being a RAMCOA survivor. I am not sorry for banning those people. I am not sorry for being passionate about the voices of survivors. I will not entertain people who refuse to change, and I have left this discussion behind with the strict rule that I will warn and then ban anyone who refuses to be educated.

3. At one point, I posted publicly claiming that the creator @lemondrops-emotes as heavily referencing my art. I fully believed that they were copying me on purpose, as the emojis looked extremely similar in my eyes. I have had my art stolen and posted in horrible corners of the internet. I was terrified and I acted out and accused them of copying me. This was wrong, I apologized, Lemon explained to me that it wasn’t intentional and me and Lemon are now on good terms. That entire situation has been dropped and I know not to call out things publicly when I’m scared now. I have grown in that area and promise to be better.

An entire hate blog was created about me and posted on that incident AFTER Lemon specifically stated that we had made up and it wasn’t anything to throw a fuss over.

I have received threats in my inbox.

I have had random members on discord dm me fake IP addresses to scare me. I have paranoid personality disorder and I am schizo. Both these incidents have made me spiral in terror. My mental health has been torn down from the amount of hate, threats, and rumors I have received for the crime of making mistakes as a teenager.

I am by no means excusing my actions, but my actions have been forgiven by the people I hurt. I owe no apology to anyone else.

Harassing me for mistakes that have been resolved does nothing but harm me. It does not help me grow. It does not help the emoji art community. Please, for the love of god, leave me alone. Stop attacking my close ones. Stop throwing dirt on my name. I am trying my best, and I will continue to grow and become a better person as much as I fucking can.

I want to keep making art, I wanna be a part of this community.

For those of you who have supported me from the beginning and actually taken the time to educate yourself on who I really am instead of taking a random person's word for it; thank you. I love you. I love my community, I love my supporters, and you have no idea how much you have all helped me out of the hell I was in. Thank you so so so so much. I create for you, and you help me get up in the morning. Please spread positivity through the art community and be nice to each other !!!!!! hate doesn’t get anyone anywhere and I do not and never have condoned drama spreading or harassment. I love you all, be safe <3

[jellybeanium124]

heyyyyyyy so psa if I were you I'd block "@/stoptheantisemitism." this person is spreading hateful and idiotic rhetoric including telling me"I just wanted to clarify that anyone who is a Zionist is a Nazi" on a post about supporting jews. they made it about zionism.

this person claims in their bio to be "ethnically jewish." let's say for the sake of argument that they're not lying on the internet. to me this reads as a statement that says this person has jewish family, but wasn't raised jewish (of course I do not know that this is true, it is just a guess based on that phrasing + their behavior online). now, I don't think this makes them less jewish. they have just as much of a right to our culture as anyone else. but with that right they have somehow become less knowledgable about judaism and more antisemitic, and have decided that the part they'd like to play is of the prop Good Jew that goyim can listen to to make themselves feel better about themselves and like they "listen to jews" when this guy is in the absolute minority opinion. like they are extremely radical and hateful if they think calling jews "nazis" is like, normal, and not horrible and impossible.

stoptheantisemitism is a self-hating jew. they are a vitriolic antisemite. do yourself a favor and block them. kay thanks~

[mulderscully]

i'm gonna make one final post about the nick situation and then i'm not talking about it or answering asks about it anymore.

i am so frustrated and honestly sad about all of this, and not because i do think nick dislikes rwrb or any of the other stuff. i am hurt that so many ppl are all making the fandom look so bad to the point that his team filtered the word rwrb.

you know why they filtered that word? because he is getting fucking harassed by fans. how can you possibly expect him to have positive things to post when you attack him constantly? lately his comment section is full of people calling him a homophobe or somehow accusing him of queer bait. every interview he gets PRESSED about his sexuality, which is no one's buisness but his own. every day people accuse him of hating taylor when they've both said they're close friends. you are making all this horrible shit up and expecting something positive to come from it? what is wrong with y'all? that's not how things work.

was it odd that his team didn't share a story/post about the rwrb sequel? a little bit. does it warrant his behavior, or does it warrant people saying henry should be recast or that nick was "forced" to do it? absolutely not. that's immature and childish.

making empty accounts to the degree that they can't block them all will result in a term being muted, hello!! i get a SMALL fraction of that and it drives me crazy. how must he and his team feel?

nick was still on a press tour for the idea of you when the sequel was announced. we don't know how that may or may not have affected what he was able to post about until recently. m&g was still currently airing in the us so yes he posted about that too for the finale. again, there may have been contracts here, but you all seem to think that nick sits on his phone and actually posts this stuff himself now. he has 5 million followers. he has SAID he is not online, he DOES NOT RUN THAT ACCOUNT HIMSELF. does he probably have a burner? for sure. does his team need his approval and shit? of course. but he is not your bestie on that account the same way tzp is on his because they have wildly different personalities.

i'm pissed off because rwrb is such a lovely story, it's a happy place and a story nick has said is rich and that he is proud of and you all refuse to believe him when he speaks. and that bleeds into how he sees the fandom. the fandom is turning this into an ugly thing for him and for a lot of us who want no part in this.

the sequel isn't even written yet. leave nick alone. stop asking about his sexuality with the obvious intent to out him. stop harassing him with lies about his own feelings. stop making us look bad. just stop. i'm tired and i don't want this to be ruined for all of us before we get to all the lovely things to come when the sequel actually has a press tour, has a premiere, has interviews. please let things happen in due time.

[brokenheartedtheologian]

Reviews of all 8 Bridgerton Books (contains spoilers)

The TV show has more dramatic subplots and diversity, but the books have more emotional realism.

The Duke and I (Daphne's Story): In the TV series, Simon's choice to deny Daphne children (even to the point of being willing to die in a duel to avoid having kids) seems arbitrary, pointless, and dickish. In the book series, where you can get more inside the main character's heads, it all makes sense. His real fear is repeating the cycle of trauma and abusing his children the way his father abused him. Daphne convinces him he will be kind and loving to a stuttering child should he ever have one, and that's how the business gets resolved. This is the most touching scene of the book, and it's a crime they left it out of the TV series.

The Viscount Who Loved Me (Anthony's Story): Surprisingly, the TV series dealt with Anthony's dead dad trauma more meaningfully than the book did! The book mostly dwells on Anthony's illogical conviction that he will die before he grows older than his father. Whereas the TV show vividly depicts how traumatized he was by his mother's grief and how he was thrust into the role of parenting his siblings and his mother. In the TV show, Anthony's fear of love makes way more sense, as he associates true love with the insane grief and depression his mother experienced. In the book, that is just much less clear. However, I give the book points for keeping the relationship between Kate and her sister completely loving and drama-free, with no rivalry over Anthony (I'm not a big fan of altar-dumping scenes or pitting women against each other).

An Offer from a Gentleman (Benedict's Story): This was my least favorite book in the series by far, it's a retelling of Cinderella (never my favorite fairytale) with Benedict as Prince Charming. But Benedict pressures Sophie/Cinderella to become his mistress in some rather rape-y ways before they get to the happy ending. It makes Benedict utterly unlikeable. This is the only book in the series to deal with themes of class, since Sophie is a bastard who works as a housemaid due to her evil stepmother (which is why Benedict thinks she is mistress rather than wife material). The the way the book deals with class themes in profoundly unsatisfying, since they never critique the actual injustice of the class system, and in the end Sophie is only able to marry Benedict due to the big reveal of her having aristocratic blood from the wrong side of the sheets. This book is trash. I would burn it, and I just hope the TV series find a way to redeem this horrible story by replacing classist rapist Benedict with the fun bisexual polyamorous Benedict we've seen earlier in the TV series.

Romancing Mr. Bridgerton (Colin's Story): The TV series created reasons for Colin to have legitimate beef against Lady Whistledown, which are simply not part of the book series. So when Colin discovers Lady Whistledown's identity in the books, the only thing he has to navigate is the jealousy he has about her being a better writer than him. This jealousy he overcomes relatively quickly, and he makes a grand announcement as a supportive gesture which is even more romantic than his behavior in the TV series. Their character development arcs seem more natural without the extra drama the TV show inserts for the sake of suspense. I love Colin x Penelope so much, I like their story slightly more in the books, but the sexy actors of course add a lot to the story with their acting skills, so it's maybe a tie?

To Sir Phillip, With Love (Eloise's Story): I had a love-hate relationship with this book. Love: their courtship starting with letters. Hate: The letters seem to just cover trivial things so it's unclear where the attraction is coming from. Love: Eloise running off to meet him in person after exchanging letters a year (olden-times online dating). Hate: Sir Phillip making occasional misogynist comments and Eloise (bewilderingly) not caring. Love: Sir Phillip recovering from the trauma of having his wife be severely depressed for years and then commit suicide. Hate: Eloise rushing into a relationship hastily with a severely traumatized man with red flags, just because he is sexy. Love: The relationship between Eloise and Sir Phillip's children. Hate: Her brothers forcing her to marry him because she was seeing him without a chaperone. (In God's name, why? Why was this a necessary element of the book?! The romance would have felt much better without adding this gratuitous non-consensual element). A+ for second marriage and stepmother themes and D- for Eloise inexplicably losing her feminism and pride (which, to be fair, was more a characteristic of her TV self than her book self). I have no fucking idea how they will adapt it to make it more consistent with Eloise's TV character. But it's cool the TV series did an early intro of Sir Phillip Crane.

When He Was Wicked (Francesca's Story): Francesca's husband dies and four years later she falls in love with her best friend / husband's cousin. They both feel very guilty about the relationship because it feels like cheating (even though it is not cheating because original spouse is dead). Overall, this book feels like a way for us to have sex scenes that indulge our cheating fetish without the emotional strain of actually disapproving of the characters for cheating. The discussion of grief is more shallow than I would have wished. I can't help but wonder if the TV adaptation will remove the death and have the guilt/angst be around polyamorous bisexual relationships. Michaela will be better than Michael I think (Michael verbally abuses his valet, who is clearly terrified of him, every time his love life goes poorly). I personally think if a man abuses his valet, he'll abuse his wife, and find Michael by far the least plausible of the happy endings as a result. I hope the TV series having a female version of him ends up taking away some of the jerkitude.

It's In His Kiss (Hyacinth's Story): Okay, this may be my favorite of the series, though perhaps it is tied with Colin's story because Whistledown reveal. But Hyacinth is definitely my favorite of the siblings, and I love the big deal they make about her being a miniature Lady Danbury. I also adore the mother-daughter relationship stuff in here, how much Violet support's Hyacinth's independence but also encourages her to be vulnerable and take emotional risks. The "you're afraid to flirt with gentlemen you might actually like because that opens you to rejection" speech was chef's kiss!!! I also like the return of the "being free from abusive father" theme we get with the male lead. Abusive fathers was handled even better than it was in Simon/Daphne's story.

On the Way to the Wedding (Gregory's Story): It seems the author is a bit worried we might be getting bored with the regular rounds of sex, kissing, and falling in love, so she throws in some treason and gun fights to spice it up. It feels like a different genre from the other books because of the action drama elements. Still, I'm a fan of the wholesome female friendship and the (finally) satiring the "love at first sight," trope (though she plenty utilized the "love at first sight" trope in Benedict's story, wtf!) It's also fun to see Kate be a matron.

How many grandchildren does Violet Bridgerton end up with? Like a hundred?

Overall Ratings

Colin, Hyacinth: A+ for interpersonal chemistry and helping each other grow as people:

Anthony: A- but would totally be A+ if Anthony was not an unlikeable dick who did not deserve happiness

Daphne, Gregory: B+ for good-hearted Bridgertons helping love interest overcome family/abuse/neglect and personal issues.

Eloise, Francesca: C+ the sex scenes were well written but why would they settle for misogynists. I am not willing to give a pass just because this is period literature

Benedict: F because classism and not bothering with consent is really not sexy and how could you spoil wonderful TV Benedict for me.

Let's hope the TV series removed the problematic bullshit as well as adding the queer and interracial romance! The books do have more emotional realism since they've removed the need for unnecessary drama, but overall, the TV series is winning. What a surprise! I usually like books better than TV.

[llendrinall]

How to kill a woman online all over again (How to recognize a smear campaign)

“It's actually sad because it just shows you have people who really want to hate on women” Melissa Nathan – Professional Online Assassin (PR Crisis Manager)

In December 2024 The New York Times published a story about a targeted campaign of harassment and character assassination against actress Blake Lively. I won't rehash the details of the case here. Be it enough to know that Lively suffered sexual harassment during the filming of It Ends With Us. Baldoni, the perpetrator, orchestrated a campaign against her to preemptively mar her character so that any allegations against him would be dismissed.

I won’t dwell on that here. Instead, having read a lot of what has been published, I want to describe how these public relations campaigns work.

The main idea is that the rich and powerful can and will hire people (Melissa Nathan being the most famous at the moment) to turn public opinion against their victims. This has two benefits for them:

Victims are less likely to speak up when they find themselves targets of attack.

Prosecutors, judges and jurors can be swayed by these campaigns.

Ultimately the idea is that only good, saintly, women are victims of abuse. If the woman is less than perfect then she is either lying or deserving of the abuse.

How do we recognize these campaigns? These are the traits I have noticed so far.

The target is a woman.

The attacks comes from within and without. So there will be “inside” stories as well as “public” stories.

Inside stories can be something like a “journalist” claiming something terrible happened behind the cameras, leaking videos out of context, etc.

Public stories are ideas supposedly noticed by the public. Someone commenting on the victim’s outfits, accessories or behaviors and extrapolating to their character. For example, if she uses a leather bag, she is supporting animal abuse, but if she uses a plastic bag, she is bad for the environment.

Of course, since people are far from perfect, some of these stories will point to actual bad behavior. That still is no justification for abuse.

3. The campaign is multi-platform.

Traditional media pick up the story. This doesn’t mean proper, trust-worthy media, but it’s important that some paper tabloid like, say, The Daily Mail will mention it.

Online media also pick up the story.

Social media pick up and spread the story through all platforms. This, to me, is the most tell-tale sign that something fishy is going on, when Reddit, Instagram reels, Tik-tok videos and Youtube short are all in agreement that this woman is nasty. Some posts will be bots, some created by actual humans working by the PR firm and many more made by users following the trend because as Nathan notices, people like to hate on women.

4. The story jumps the algorithm and now you are hearing about it.

Think of this: You enter Tik-tok and Instagram and stare at a short video of someone tying a knot. It’s a cool knot so you watch the video half a dozen times to learn how to do it. Next time you enter the site, your feed offers you nothing but knot-tying videos. That’s the algorithm working.

Now, when you are peacefully watching knot-tying videos and in pops a video of someone mocking the ridiculous way this woman drinks water, that’s a jump in the algorithm.

In other words, I can’t tell you any other films in which Blake Lively has starred, I have no interest in her whatsoever, and yet I got videos saying how horrible and tone-deaf she was during promotion.

If you are learning nasty things about a person even though you care nothing about them, their job or even their industry, then we should take pause. I’m not saying dismiss it, but ask yourself why are you seeing this.

5. There is a comparison with a man.

It’s not enough that the victim is a bad woman. She must be compared to a man, most likely her abuser, who is a much better person. He would never use a leather/plastic/cotton bag, don’t you know?

Examples:

Knowing how these campaigns work, it’s easier to notice their outline, their shape, under the waves of news and social media. Here are some examples.

The Fallen - Amber Heard vs Johnny Depp. This is the paradigm of online assassination. If you were online in the spring of 2022 it was impossible to avoid the hate against Heard who, I am sure, is a horrible person. Yet she was also abused by Depp. He lost a libel suit against a tabloid. You really have to be a nasty piece to lose a libel suit. Depp, by the way, also used Melissa Nathan as an online gun-for-hire.

The Ones Currently Fighting – Blake Lively against Justin Baldoni is the most recent one. Summer and Fall of 2024 was marked by the hate against her. Again, I am sure she is insufferable, entitled, blonde and all together quite impossible to describe. This doesn’t change the fact that Baldoni sexually harassed her. One should not have men ogling one’s naked body.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. Did you know that Melissa Nathan not only represented Johnny Depp and Justin Baldoni, but also Brad Pitt? Did you know that once this fact was made public Pitt finally signed the divorced papers after eight (8!) years? Little is known of this story because Angelina Jolie has amazing intuition for public relations. She has been silent for almost a decade, while there are news about Pitt going out with his girlfriend, Pitt missing his children and Pitt being sad that his children are forsaking his last name.

(The report on the 2016 plane incident states that Pitt choked one of the children and hit another in the face. Can’t imagine why they would take the Jolie name after that).

(As an aside, I think there is a racist bias here at work and that people assume he hit the boys, not the girls, and the POC children, not the white ones, so “it’s not as bad”).

The One Success Story so I can finish this on a hopeful note – Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas. The moment the couple split, stories emerged of Sophie being a bad mother for, hear this, going to a wrap-up party, having a career in film instead of staying home and what not. This was in 2023, the sting of the Heard-Depp case was recent and Sophie Turner’s fans were not having it. I remember reading an editorial noting how the campaign had fizzled out and Jonas stop fighting for custody of their children.

Anyway:

Bad women can be victims of abuse.

No one deserves abuse.

If you ever think “why am I being showed this?” that’s an abuser killing his victim online all over again.

[intrinsicepiphany]

Okay so I recently watched Hazbin Hotel. And I really like Chaggie so looking at some of the comments about the relationship online I noticed that a lot of people's negative opinions about the couple kind of revolve around Vaggie's seemingly one-sided utter Devotion to Charlie and her being so differential to Charlie but I actually think this may be a storytelling device.

(lets not talk about people saying they dont have chemistry - they 100% act just like an old married lesbian couple)

hear me out because if I am right I may have cracked the code to redemption.

from what I can tell of the Sinners they actually over exemplify or are consumed almost by their sins .

Alastor is probably Pride or Wrath, Angel Dust is Lust and Envy (he shows some self hate/self distructive behaviors as well), Husk is greed, Niffty is violence/wrath.

So what is Vaggies sin?

we know that she was originally not a sinner so she didn't have a human sin to be incorporated into her character which is why she looks the most human.

Her fall from Heaven, (if you want to call it that because, let's be honest none of the other angels knew or casted her out) was either caused by

1) her Devotion to her own morals and eventually disagreeing to what the angels were doing,

2) devotion to the exterminators leading to a loss of self, which she realized only when she defied Lute.

Or 3) the self hatred she developed after realizing how horrible Adam and the exterminators are.

so now that she's Fallen she's kind of taken on being a sinner and since her sin was devotion/self hatred she has transferred her devotion onto the one person she sees as being worth it, the most morally correct person she knows, the person who saved her life Charlie.

This may actually not be a bad thing. I think Charlie's devotion back and general good nature allows for this to avoid toxicity. She encourages Vaggie to be her own person, to forgive herself and to love herself. They are actually quite balanced in my opinion. I also think Vaggie getting her wings back shows that she is close to or maybe already redeemed.

( and lets all agree for all that Charlie is Hellborn she is the most selfless and good person we've met on the show - makes me wonder if a hellborn dies with a good soul would they have always gone to heaven? Was this perhaps one of the reasons the hellborn were exempt from the extermination? Look I have theories about Charlie actually being more Angel than Demon. )

Now Onto my redemption theory!

What if the way to redemption isn't so much being Pure but breaking out of the behaviors that are toxic?

I think Sir Pentious was redeemed because he stopped being selfish. He stopped being a coward and envious. His last act was one of selfless sacrifice in the end he overcame his own fears and limits for someone else. The reasons it's never been done before is because Hell by it's very nature puts them in a place where this is basically impossible. To survive you have to be selfish or cowardly or more violent than everyone else.

This also mean there is a the possibility that if an angel is bad like Adam and dies they could reincarnate in hell as a sinner.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for leaving a hate comment on an author's social media?

so there's this author who recently got exposed for review bombing the books of other authors, mostly POC authors, while giving their own book 5 stars. the victims gave them the chance to handle this privately (which means they could still have their career intact if they chose to do so) and honestly I would've had so much respect for them if they chose to say "yes I did this, I'm sorry, this was coming from a place of insecurity and jealousy" but instead they made up conversations with a non-existing friend to try and blame them while painting themselves as a victim. on top of that they pulled the "I'm not racist I have autism & ADHD and I struggle with my mental health" card when people tried to hold them accountable.

I (23F) want to be an author, it has been my dream since I learned how to write as a child. I also have autism & ADHD. I also struggle with my mental health. and none of these things make me act deliberately racist???? I can be and I am sympathetic with them because dealing with bad mental health is horrible but they were handled their dream career, a book deal, promotion, beautiful art for their novel, and the chance to handle this privately and they still chose to try and escape consequence. I couldn't believe this so I left them a comment saying they were fucking ungrateful for living their dream and choosing to throw it all away just because they wanted to rip the spotlight from others... when any mildly capable author is also a reader who probably likes to read more than one author!!! it's stupid to treat one another like competition!!!!!

I'm angry but if I'm being honest, deep down I'm terrified - terrified that their behavior and their excuses will make editors want to not give other disabled authors a chance. we fight so hard to be taken seriously and this person, on top of trying to make things harder for POC authors, chose to make things harder for other disabled authors as well. but even though they were wrong, I know acting like a dick online is not the answer so AITA here?

What are these acronyms?

[obsessedwithbyleragain]

Not to be a downer on the byler tag but I feel conflicted now that I'm back on st twitter

FIRST I don't want this whole post to be a rehash of the Noah controversy it's always a rinse and repeat of the same points. Yes, Zionism is bad (DUH) but I feel like we can seperate silly little gay characters from the actors, it's commonplace.

BUT I will say that death threats, threats of physical harm, or insults don't help. Those behaviors only cause defensiveness and if you want to change someone's opinion you have to be understanding. Everyone is shaped by their environment and if I was exposed to different influences growing up I'd be a totally different person today, not to say that people can't control their own decisions, but social pressure and ingrained prejudice is very real. Not everyone has the courage to become a social pariah, PLUS everyone believes they are a good person. That they are the one that is morally righteous, in any situation. It can make them blind to the truth, but you can't change that in one day.

EVERYONE WANTS TO BE A GOOD PERSON.

SECOND and the point I actually wanted to make is that I'm sorry but people will always be consumers, and you can't decide how they will spend their money, but do you think going to a con bc you like a tv show and ALL the amazing people in it is the same as openly supporting a genocide?!?? Like why direct all your (valid) frustration with the state of how people view palestinians onto 2 girls who are just there bc they like a ship in fandom??

Also I'll never understand the need to be mean to people online can't we all just be normal 😭

Like even if I know someone has opinions I am vehemently against I'm still cordial with them unless they bring it up, like I don't try to insult anyone but CEO's, billionaires, and those who sustain global war campaigns. Not anybody online who has an incorrect or even sometimes so disgustingly uninformed opinion. OR ARE JUST THERE TO DO SOMETHING THEY ENJOY LIKE????

Idk this was a ramble but I hate this, I understand that more people need to be aware of the horrible inhumane things continuing to occur in gaza, but this almost feels counterproductive, why use it as a reason to call people (who didn't even bring it into the conversation) ugly? The movement is all about SUPPORT and BRINGING AWARENESS is this the kind of awareness we need? where we call anyone ignoring or uncaring towards this massacre ugly when instead we could educate? Not to say we shouldn't call people out but be constructive! Help them understand instead of telling them to kill themselves, this feels like it isn't helping.

Thank you for listening to my tedTALK byler nation

I'm so fed up w these people on Twitter like bffr

[onebillionghosts]

okay i talked about some of this on cohost. but i feel like it needs to be shared here, because here is where i experience some of the most of it.

it feels like most abled people only ever see neurodivergent people either as a tragedy, or a joke. except, we all know about being treated as a tragedy. plenty of people discuss that. but it feels like we rarely talk about how on a large scale, neurodivergent people have always been treated as a joke.

growing up, it was "autistic screeching REEEEEE" and the r-slur and "what are you, some sorta psycho" and "i'm so ocd/adhd" and mocking autistic people's stims. and just the entire existence of autism at all as being something inherently ridiculous and to be mocked and joked about. and almost EVERYONE online did it. when i was a kid, i couldn't look up my own conditions without seeing nothing but either people treating it like it was the worst, most horrible thing on earth, or people treating it like people who had it were ultimately one big joke. the only place you EVER saw positivity was in the sparse few communities made for and by people with the conditions.

but back then, the neurodivergent movement was underground. nobody really knew about it if you weren't actually neurodivergent yourself and involved in a few small close-knit communities. but then in the past few years, that's started to change. i think it was around 2020-ish that i started noticing people started to, well, notice us. while we're still far off from everyone in general being aware of our existence, we've slowly started to become mainstream. now canonically autistic characters are starting to appear in media, and people actually noticed when sia released her god-awful movie and criticized it.

but even so, neurodivergency never stopped being treated as a joke. some people realized that their previous jokes were harmful, and it seemed like we were finally making progress. but as a side-effect of neurodivergency becoming more well-known in the public eye, things started to change, and not necessarily for the better. suddenly, the concept of "neurodivergency" itself became a joke.

and now it feels like the label that was so important to the community, which we were so proud of, which felt so liberating, is a joke again. you can't say "neurodivergent" without people saying you're making up oppression for attention, and saying you're overreacting, and saying that godawful "neurodivergent and a minor" phrase. and i understand that some of it is because of people having tryied to excuse shitty behavior off of their mental disabilities/illnesses. and yeah that's awful, and neurodivergency should never be an excuse for bad behavior. but now people are turning one of our biggest points of pride, which we worked so hard on, into something to be ashamed of. not to mention shit like "delulu" and "restarted" and "narcissist" and "acoustic' and "i am in your walls".

and the recent trend that ableism is made up or being overexaggerated, which i've been seeing online recently, just makes my blood boil. i can't go outside without being stared at or treated like a child or mocked. we don't have the basic human rights to immigrate or marry or get a job, and many of us don't have any autonomy at all. countless of us die every day because nobody cares enough about us or believes us. hate crimes and police violence against the mentally disabled and mentally ill is still a huge thing. and it is still legal to physically and psychologically and emotionally abuse us, and in many places kill us. but people act like we're all making this up for attention. it's a type of discrimination and oppression so that is so sheerly widespread and all-consuming, but yet it's so invisible.

i mean of course people have never believed us about our experiences and the sheer amount of ableism we face. that's not new. but i guess just what makes it hurt so worse now is that people now realize the neurodivergent community exist, and people who we used to think are allies are turning against us and mocking us. someone makes fun of neurodivergent people, you try to say "hey don't do that", and now everyone is dogpiling you and saying you're "pissing on the poor" and "proving their point." we can't criticize albeism from others online now without being told we're overreacting and making a big deal out of nothing. and i see people who i thought were allies reblogging and laughing about this kinda stuff. and it just really feels like it's hard to trust abled people. it feels like every time i think i can trust a neurotypical person, they turn on us. and sometimes i just feel like cutting off any neurotypical people altogether, even though i know realistically there are some good allies out there. it just feels like there are so few

idk just feels bad man. we really can't catch a break can we