#and the hallucinations are normal for me but it was scary in the moment | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

callsign-songbird · 21 days ago

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Trauma Bond Ghoap X Reader PT 3

BACK FROM THE DEAD!! If anyone is still here for this, I'm sorry it took so long to get out. But, the story has continued, and probably won't get a part 4. If it does, it won't be until after Christmas. The final word count is 3,998 words, so close to 4k! Hope this is more acceptable for those of you who wanted a better less "lazy" ending. ;w; (Insinuations of smut, but nothing too specific)

“Hey, bird. That radiator giving you any more trouble?” The chime of a bell rang out from above the door of the small coffee shop you had taken to tending to. In all honesty, it was John’s. Apparently being a landlord just wasn’t keeping him busy enough, and the only hobbies he had actually been able to stick to were working out and whittling out in the woods. You had tried making a joke once, calling him a “bushwacker” for the way he seemed to like to rough it. But you missed the way his eyes crinkled at the edges just a bit too much, a bit of brightness behind them that hadn’t been there moments ago.

“Doll? You there? Has he been working you too hard?” Kyle’s gentle voice and concerned expression brought you back to the present, snapping you back to reality as your eyes focused in on his beautiful face. You weren’t supposed to feel things for clients, especially repeat customers, but Kyle… Well, things could happen behind closed doors, and you certainly wouldn’t complain. “Sorry, I just, uh… Haven’t been sleeping the best lately.” You admitted with a sigh as you turned to make his regular, shaking your head softly. The nights had been becoming colder, and with that came the chill of paranoia down your spine. It should have been a familiar feeling at this point, especially since this was coming up on your third month away from them. Your feet were under you without them, you had to remind yourself all the time. You had a good place to live, a stable job, and even a couple of friends here in town… Well… You had Kyle and John, really. But they were your friends, right? Your landlord slash boss and favorite regular?

…

You really needed to get out more…

The coffee you slid across the bartop was nearly the same burnt caramel color as Kyle’s skin, and sometimes you swear you can smell the sweet scent mixed in with his natural musk after a long day of being your small towns only repair man. You lean against the counter, elbows propped up on the polished veneer while your chin rests on your palms. “Aww, now that’s a shame, love. Been watching too many of those scary movies? You don’t have to watch them just because it’s that season, doll.” He picks up the large ceramic mug with one hand, though, it may as well have been a teacup compared to his giant mitts. He takes a sip of the still steaming drink, taking an exaggerated sip and getting a dollop of whipped cream on the tip of his nose simply to amuse you. His smile is blinding when your own nose scrunches up in turn, a soft giggle pouring past your lips as you lean over, taking one of the diner’s cloth napkins and wiping the cream from his nose. Maybe you hallucinate it or it’s just been way too long since you got any physical affection, but you almost swear that he leans into the touch, his eyes lidding just on the sweet side of sinful as a hum leaves his lips. “It’s not that, I just… I don’t know… Maybe I just need to get out more, get some friends, you know?” Kyle’s eyes narrow just slightly at that, but he hides it by looking down into his cup, letting out a noise of interest as he lifts the cup to his lips once more, taking a normal smooth sip. “Well, y’ got me an the captain, right? And I heard we’re gettin’ a couple of new guys in town.” The prospect of new people piques your interest, but you try to hide it as you stand and make your way over to do a wipedown of the espresso machine, glancing back at him over your shoulder. “Is that so?”

Kyle nods, reaching up to fiddle with the brim of his baseball cap while his eyes sweep the diner as if looking for anyone who might be able to overhear what he's about to say, as if it’s some big secret. That alone intrigues you. He leans a bit closer, trying to look casual as he braced his forearms on the counter, and you have to focus on the machine you’re wiping down to keep from staring at the way his jacket has to stretch to accommodate the beautifully sculpted muscles lying just below that you had been blessed enough to see before the fall chill had set in.

“Yeah, a coupla’ fellas who-” You jolt and turn around as Kyle is cut off, John’s hand on his shoulder in a friendly gesture as he takes the barstool beside him, giving you a mirthful smile and a polite nod of greeting. You can only blink at him with wide eyes for a moment, wondering how he had gotten there without either you or Kyle noticing. Maybe, if he hadn’t been so reassuring, you might have noticed the flash of hesitation in Kyle’s eyes as he took another swig of his drink, effectively shutting himself up. “Hello, lovely. How has it been today? Slow? Sorry to leave you to mann it alone today, someone had a bloody busted pipe, so I had to go play landlord for a bit. But I'm sure it wasn’t too much, that right, lovie?” His eyes are always so warm, and his smile puts butterflies in the pit of your stomach. You’v ehad a lot of butterflies these past couple of months, especially since both men refuse to call you by your real name, insisting on a barrage of pet names instead that practically make you melt inside. Near every day has turned into a battle to keep your face from warming around them, and you can almost swear they make a game out of it some days. “Yeah, it was fine. Gibbs was pretty upset not to get his eggs since the cook was out, but he’ll live and told me to whack you upside the head for him.” You say with a bit of humor to your voice, sliding a black coffee across the counter to John which he takes with a grateful wink and immediately lifts to his lips. Kyle shifts a bit in his seat before getting up with a soft groan and stretching his hands above his head, his spine letting out a couple of cracks before he rolled his shoulders, settling back into his posture, hands finding their way into his pockets as he turned towards the door.

“Well, lunch break is almost up. Got an appointment in twenty and I wanna grab a sandwich beforehand. Don’t miss me too much, dove. Be back tomorrow.”

You sent Kyle off with a bright smile and a small wave, only wondering momentarily what he was going to say before being interrupted by Price once more, sipping away at his small coffee with an almost worried smile on his face, looking too tight to be on the face of the man you had come to know. “That Kyle, he’s a good lad, loyal to a fault. Well, I should probably head out too before my shoulder starts acting up. Some days, I wish the bastard had shot me anywhere else that wouldn’t get me booted from the service. But, oh, listen to me prattle on. Young bird like you doesn’t have time for the whinging of an old man like me.” And with that, he was out the door before you could even bid him farewell. It was almost… Odd. why was everyone acting so weird today? Shaking there was nothing to do except get back to your job and daydream about the two. Of course, opening your heart was completely off of the table at this point. You had been hurt too much for that, and it was way too soon. But a good lay certainly wouldn’t do you any harm. Especially since you had two more gorgeous ex-military men seeing you on what was basically a daily basis. You spent the rest of your shift daydreaming about sweet words murmured in your ear, thich corded forearms barred across your throat, hips snapping up into yours and forcing your back into a delicious arch while your lips- “Hey, you about ready to clock out?” Gaz’z voice startled you from your daydream, nearly making you drop the mug you were putting away at the end of your shift. THere he was, leaning against the door frame of the open diner door. You must have been deep in thought, because you didn’t even hear the bell ring. “Uh, yeah, sorry. Just gotta hang up the apron and clock out.” You laughed out, pulling at the ties behind your back and sliding the apron off over your head. Lately, Gaz had taken to walking you back to your apartment. Something about not letting a lady walk alone in the dark even if you only lived a couple of blocks away. You had tried to invite him in multiple times, but he always gave you that same boyish smirk and told you that he might some other time. But this time was different. When you made your way up the steps of the building, Gaz’s hand stopped you, resting on your shoulder and bringing your attention back to is gorgeous face. He looked worried. “Hey, doll… Y’know… If any dogs ever come ‘round yappin… Just give me a call, k’? I’ll be over quicker than you can say ‘fuck off’, got it?” Your brows furrow in confusion, but you nod along nonethe less, which is apparently enough for the sweet guy, because he walks off without another word, leaving you to head back to your apartment and curl up into your old T-shirt and shorts on the couch with a movie. A knock at the door stops you right before you can get really settled in, pulling a soft groan from your lips. Was John doing his rounds to check the smoke alarms? This late? It couldn’t be. Maybe it was Gaz finally taking you up on your offer? These thoughts ran through your head like a lazy river, pulling a small smile to your lips as you open the door, looking up and expecting to see one of the two ment that you had come to adore over the past few months of freedom. But your face fell immediately, taking step back from the door as the entire room seemed to shrink in on you, eyes widening and lungs tightening in your chest.

It couldn’t be…

“... Simon?...” Your voice trembles to see the man you had once loved and devoted your entire life to standing awkwardly in the doorway, but something was off about him, different. Maybe it was the way he carried himself with that thinly veiled confidence of a skilled predator, maybe it was the way that his eyes weren’t as hollow as they had been before you left, maybe it was the way his entire face lit up at the sight of you in your grungy pajamas and mussed up bedhead; practically glowing beneath the familiar skull mask and striped balaclava you hadn’t seen in so long.

…

Or maybe it was just the fact that you hadn’t seen him like that in years…

When you left, Simon had practically been a shell of the man you had loved. He was unmotivated, never left the house unless it was to run or he was drug out by Johnny, he never made those stupid jokes you had loved so much, and he treated being alive as if it were a chore. He would tell you every time you could spare a moment just the two of you that being with you was the only time he felt happy anymore. But still he stayed with Johnny. And that still hurt. Speaking of… Where was Johnny? The man who so normally clung to Ghost’s heels like an eager mutt was nowhere to be found, sparking just the smallest bit of hope in your chest that maybe, just maybe, he had chosen you. Better late than never, right?

Or was that just wishful thinking? “We need to talk.” He said, that same blunt nature that you hated to admit you had missed pouring from behind his lips. As if he needed to tell you that. You stand there for a long minute, debating whether or not to let one of the men that had hurt you so much into your apartment, back into your life. But you were still weak to SImon, and he knew it. With a low sigh, you shake your head and allow the huge man into your apartment, ducking his head so as not to knock it against the doorframe. Jesus, you always forget just how BIG he is… He makes himself at home on your couch without wasting any time, looking as cool and collected as ever, like a king on his throne. But you know better, you know Simon. His hand is twitching towards his hip, his eyes are sweeping the room to check for all escape routes, his boot isn’t tapping against the plush rug you have laid out over the floor. He’s nervous. You stand before him, arms crossed over your midsection as you wait for him to start talking, explaining why he’s here. “We got help. Mentally. Me an’ Johnny…” He starts, and you’re almost ready to kick him out when he speaks of the other man as if he were still in the picture. Of course. How could you have been so damn foolish? But Simon raises his hands in a show of peace, his eyes pleading for you to hear him out before flipping your lid, even though it was very well deserved. But damn if you weren’t weak for those pathetic brown eyes of his when he was pleading with you. “I’m listening.” Your curt words may as well have been knives from the way Simon flinched slightly. That wasn’t like you, not his sweet Angel. He had really fucked up. “So… It turns out that I was incredibly depressed… clinically… Had to do with some fucking implant I had gotten back in the SAS to regulate emotions, it was supposed to be a couple year test that would get removed once the blokes in jackets had their damn info… I had it in for seven years…Seven years, lovie. Got a call about a month after you headed off from one of my old buddies. Some bloke apparently fucked up my discharge papers and that little detail had been overlooked. So, I headed back to base and got ir removed… And, oh, lovie… It’s been so much better…” His voice actually cracks at that last part. It didn’t make any sense to you though. Military emotional regulators? Trying to make super soldiers? And his had expired? It was hard for you to believe. But you couldn’t deny that seeing Simon like this again, looking more like himself than he had in years? It was doing things to you that you hated and tried to push down. “And Johnny?” You asked, keeping the same cold tone to your voice, trying not to give him even an inch to work with. He wouldn’t dig his claws into you again, not this time. You could see a deep look of regret and remorse in those deep mahogany irises of his, along with understanding. He couldn’t even blame you for treating him so coldly and keeping him at arms length. “Actually, lovie… That’s kind of why i'm here… I was gonna leave him, really I was. Was gonna kick his arse to the curb and hope that you would take me back. Even got m’self an apartment in the next town over. But in the middle of moving was when I got the call, and a lot of shit happened and then I was just… I was standing in an apartment surrounded by my things and I just…” Simon drug a hand over his face, pulling the damn thing off and revealing the face you hadn’t seen in so long. Damn, you wish he had just left the thing on so you wouldn’t have to see just how pained he looked.

That was your Simon alright. Silvery slivers of raised skin littering across his face and over the bridge of his crooked nose, indents in his face where flesh had been gouged out, and the most gorgeous blonde lashes framing those deep mocha eyes that always sucked you in down to your very soul and melted you like chocolate in his warm hands. But not this time. You wouldn’t let him just have you back, he had to earn that. “Lovie… We were wrong…” What? Wrong? A single quirked brow was all the question for elaboration that Simon needed, taking a deep and shaky breath before continuing. “We both… We both blamed him for so many things, because it was easier to blame him than admit our own problems… I was standin’ in that nearly empty apartment, and all I could think about was somethin’ my ma used to say whenever she thought of leavin’ my pa’...”

Information about Simon’s past was hard to come across, more rare than a penguin in a desert, but you knew some of the basic things. Knew about his brother, knew that his dad beat them all, knew that he was the last Riley left. But that was about it. So for him to suddenly open up like this… It raised your guard just as much as it lowered it. “She used to ask herself, would she be happier without him than she was with him? Sure, he was a drunk, he was an asshole, and he beat us all… But my ma’ could never answer the question. And lovie… Neither could I… I was in that barren excuse of a home and I just… I had nothing… Not Johnny… Not you… And I didn’t know if I could ever get you back…” His shoulders were shaking now while he buried his face in his hands. He wasn’t crying, no. This was still Simon, this was still Ghost, after all. But this shuddering breath and trembling was the closest he would ever let himself get. Here he was, practically rolling over and bearing his belly to you, and all you could do was stand there.

Sure, you wanted to tell him it was okay, to pull yourself into his lap and surround yourself in him again just like you used to… but how could you? This was your Simon again, but you weren’t his anymore. Even still, his broken voice continued. “Tried for so long… hunted you like a fuckin’ bloodhound… but captain wouldn’t let me anywhere near you until we got help… until I got help… And I didn’t want to… But Johnny said that he would if I did, and… I’m not askin’ you to take him back, or take me back… but please… I can’t live without you, lovie… at least… at least let me exist in the same world as you… please…” Kyle’s cryptic words of warning made a lot more sense now, telling you that he would fend off any dogs that came yapping where they weren’t wanted.

But this was Simon.

Maybe you had judged Jonny too much? After all, sure you felt ostracized, but was it all just in your head? Simon had admitted that he was complacent and part of the issue, but maybe you had been too. After all, when your relationship had been falling apart and Johnny stopped inviting you out on dates or to hang out with them, he was still the one who picked up your favorite snacks and drinks on a whim because he was thinking about you, and the one who payed attention to the new movies you liked. Johnny was the one who kept you from SImon’s ire when you forgot to do dishes or the like because he would do them for you, or take the heat off of you by doing something dumb.

Maybe you had been so focused on Simons and your own misery that you hadn’t seen the man cutting his own hands open to pick the pieces back up for both of you. What you thought was ostracization might have actually been him trying to give you space, taking up all of Ghost’s time might have been his way of trying desperately to distract SImon from his own head, and he was just shit at juggling people.

“Love?” Simon’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts, realizing that tears stung your eyes and flooded down your cheeks. The arms crossed over your midsection had turned into clutching at your elbows, trying to keep yourself from tearing at the seams while your smaller frame trembled and wracked with silent, shaky sobs. “Oh, lovie…”

Simon’s voice was gentle as he stood, looming over you and reaching out a broad calloused hand the size of your face to gently cup your cheek and wipe away your tears like he had so many times before. So many whispered nights spent curled up on his chest, so many nights beneath the stars filled with giggles, so many days where it didn’t matter what you were doing as long as you were with him. All of them gone. His eyes were flooded with silent agony as you stepped back, recoiling away from his touch as if it were a live wire that had hurt you. SImon had hurt so many people, and Ghost had hurt so many more, and they often kept him up at night with memories of the screams, of his own death, of his brother and nephew. But the look on your face as you backed away from him was an image that would forever be seared into his brain as one of the worst. His angel had fallen from grace, his goddess had cast him from her temple, The very breath from his lungs stolen in the midst of an ocean and left him to drown.

And who was really to blame?

You? Johnny? Himself? The Russian bastards who had captured him and Soap in the first place? The lab coats wo had stuck the fucking implant hin him in the first place? There were to many people he could blame, too many places it could have home wrong.

But it didn’t matter, not when you looked at him like that. “I see.” He said, standing up straight and rolling his shoulders back, going dangerously cold, dangerously numb. A coping mechanism, the psych had called it, dissociation. Simon called it whatever fucking works. He turned on the heel of his boot and scooped his mask off of your little worn-down couch that must have come with the apartment from the way it was much more suited to Price's taste than your own. “That’s that then.”

“Wait.” A small trembling hand on the sleeve of his shirt made Simon pause his stride to the door, looking down at you with eyes that were all too cold so you wouldn’t see the anguish running through his veins. He had lost you, and he was the only person he would let himself blame.

“Friends.” That one whispered word, so soft that Simon had almost missed it over the demons berating him in his own ears was like a godsend. You were allowing him into your life again. Not back into your home or your arms or your heart. But Simon could work with friends, He could live with friends. He nodded, reaching a big hand up and ruffling your hair gently before gently tugging out of your grip and leaving your small apartment, leaving you alone to process and feel what you needed to.

He would wait any amount of time.

You were worth it.

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erinelliotc · 1 month ago

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I watched the Eene movie and teared up at the end. I'm totally normal and fine

I wasn't ready for Eddy to be humilated in front of everyone, even after he had been such a little rat for so long

The movie was so goodddd

Yeees! I looove Big Picture Show and every time I make edits of it I want to watch it all over again. This movie literally gives me goosebumps in pretty much every scene (I get goosebumps just rewatching the scenes while making my edits). It was the most perfect way to end the show and I'm so glad we got it because it was originally going to end in season 4 with "Take This Ed and Shove It" and I think it would've been kinda lame and even scary.

Personally, I find the inevitable aging and loss of youth to be a rather heavy topic, so I thought it was bold to bring it up in a kid's cartoon, especially the way they did it. I think the way the episode approached the subject wasn't the best because it didn't end well, Eddy woke up and he was still old and depressed about it (I appreciate that at least they removed the part that shows that they would be married to the Kankers). I think it was supposed to be a tragicomic ending and not necessarily real (to me it was definitely Eddy having a hallucination caused by his anxiety and fear of getting old, even though the ending suggests that it was actually real, but to me that was exclusively for comedic purposes), but I honestly wouldn't have been happy with that, and I think it's kinda hard for a kid to process what happened (maybe I'm exaggerating here, maybe I'm just too sensitive). I don't get a good feeling from this episode and I think making it the finale would've been too creepy. I also think about all the moments we got after this, and thank goodness we got them! The specials, season 5, season 6, Big Picture Show, Raven Molisee working on the show... Imagine if we hadn't got all these things? I even get a little nervous thinking we almost didn't get them!

I think they nailed it by giving the show a more serious and mature tone. As time went by, Eddy's backstory became more apparent, and this seemingly confident and unwavering character began to reveal more of his secret insecurities, low self-esteem and poor self-image. Giving him a redemption arc and character development was the cherry on top of the show's cake. I think the movie is the most serious and mature moment of the entire show, and that's perfect since it's the end. It's when our beloved characters get more development, when they talk and open up about things that have been bottled up and hidden for a long time. Even if it wasn't their initial intention, adding the whole context of Eddy's brother and the abuse Eddy suffered fit perfectly as if it had been planned, and everything Eddy said about his brother in the first seasons made perfect sense in the ending. I'm quite fascinated by the themes of family issues and abuse, so this movie adds a lot to me and I love analyzing it. Big Picture Show is without a doubt the part that completes and ends the story.

I think it's great that we have a comedy cartoon here that also addresses serious issues, which, although they're not the focus, end up being important topics that convey some messages and lessons, and don't make it just another show just to have a few laughs.

Ed, Edd n Eddy is very remarkable in many different aspects.

#ed edd n eddy #ededdneddy #ed edd and eddy #eene #big picture show #eene bps #eene eddy #raven molisee #eene season 4 #eene S04E25 #take this ed and shove it #eddy's bro #eddy's brother #eene bro

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dodger-chan · 8 months ago

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Well, looks like AO3 is going to be down for a couple more hours. So while that's going on, have a bit of hellcheer not-quite smut. More of a prelude to smut.

Edit: now on AO3

Chrissy is sitting on a boy’s bed in a messy room waiting to get high. She’s never done this before. The getting high part, that is. She’s sat on Jason’s bed a few times. His room isn’t like this. Jason is a different kind of messy.

“You said it worked fast?” She doesn’t feel any different yet. Still scared, still crazy, a clock ticking in the back of her mind, counting down to something bad.

“Fast, yes. Instantly, no.” Eddie smiles at her. Not mean, but maybe still scary. He’d ground up the Special K in front of her, reminding her of a fancy French restaurant she’d been to with her parents once. The waiter presenting the wine for her father to judge. He’d probably known as much about the wine as she had about the drugs.

“And I took enough?” She knows she shouldn’t complain. Boys don’t like it when girls complain. And Eddie isn’t even charging her for this, just for anything she takes home with her.

��Absolutely.” The dose he’d taken when showing her how to snort it had looked almost twice as big as hers. “Too much is less fun, especially for a first time. I don’t want you, like, seeing things and freaking out.”

Chrissy tries to hold back her laugh and chokes on it. Hallucinations to hold back hallucinations. Eddie’s holding a glass of water out. Her mouth is dry. She sips it, small delicate swallows.

“Trust me, Chrissy.” Eddie slides off the bed and kneels on the floor in front of her. His hands are hot on her bare knees. “I’m the expert on this.”

She believes him, she does. She doesn’t know if she’s high, but she doesn’t feel normal anymore. It’s hard to look into his eyes, so she looks around. Guitars and posters and…

“Are those handcuffs?” she doesn’t mean to ask him, doesn’t mean to say anything at all. She knows what handcuffs look like.

“They, uh, they are, yeah.” She looks down at him. He’s looking away now, embarrassed or nervous. His hands are still on her knees. She likes them there. It feels good. She feels good. There’s no ticking clock anymore. Nothing in her head at all.

“For when you invite innocent girls back to your room?” Maybe that should scare her, but she doesn’t feel fear at all. Fear is a distant thing. Eddie’s laughing, so she laughs a little, too. It’s nice to laugh together. Eddie has a nice laugh.

“I can honestly say I’ve never put them on an innocent girl.” He’s looking up at her through his bangs. She wants to kiss him. She wants his hands to slide further up her legs. She is not an innocent girl anymore. She leans forward and he pulls back. “Chrissy, this isn’t-”

“Can I put them on you?” She interrupts him. Her hands grab his wrists, pulling him forward, squeezing them as tight as she can. She’s pulling him towards her and off balance.

“Fuck me,” he breathes out, so soft she can barely hear him.

“Only if you’re good.” She must be high now. She would never have dared those words or that teasing tone otherwise. Eddie licks his lips. He’s looking up at her, mouth slightly open. She pulls him up a little, leans forward and lightly bites his lower lip. “Will you be good?”

“Anything. I’ll be anything you tell me, Princess,” he whispers. “Do anything you say.”

“This afternoon I was a queen.” The nickname is cute, but Chrissy doesn’t feel cute at the moment. She feels powerful.

“Apologies, your majesty.” The teasing tone Eddie had used that afternoon is back in his voice. Chrissy likes it.

“Perhaps you can earn my forgiveness.” Chrissy drops Eddie’s wrists and he falters, barely catching himself before he falls flat on her lap. “Bring me the cuffs.”

Eddie scrambles up, grabs the handcuffs off of his wall. Chrissy expects him to sit next to her on the bed, but he kneels at her feet again, placing the cuffs in her lap. She picks them up. They’re more solid than she expected, with about a foot of chain connecting them. She takes Eddie’s right wrist and slips the cuff on. The white marks her fingers had left were already gone.

“Not too tight,” he instructs her quietly. She nods at him, locks the cuff with a finger’s worth of space. “You can wrap the chain around the leg of the bed, or”

“No.” She appreciated him telling her how to use the cuffs, but she wants to make the decisions here, not him. She cuffs his left wrist just like his right and holds the chain loosely in one hand, fiddling with it. “You can keep yourself still for me, can’t you?”

“Yeah. I can do that.” His voice is raspy. Chrissy shucks off her jacket, tosses it at Eddie. He lets it hit his face and slide down to the floor. He doesn’t move. There’s something about his stillness, his obedience. Chrissy feels heat pooling down in her belly, a frisson that travels lower. Her fingers brush the bottom of her shirt and she hesitates. She likes her uniform. Likes the way it makes her feel.

Chrissy drapes the chain over her head, pulling Eddie’s hands with it. She slides the chain down her back and Eddie’s hands brush against her breasts. The chain is cold on her lower back, just above the top of her skirt. She braces her feet against Eddie’s thighs and using one hand for balance lifts up her hips. With her other hand she slips her panties off and over her knees, letting them fall down her calves. She drops her hips back down and kicks the panties off. Eddie’s still kneeling, patiently. Watching her. Wanting her.

“Have you ever eaten a girl out?"

#stranger things #hellcheer #eddie munson #chrissy cunningham #my fic

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thewhumpcaretaker · 4 months ago

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◈━ 𝑩𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑰𝒄𝒆 - 𝑪𝒉. 𝑰: 𝑷𝒆𝒔𝒌𝒚 𝑯𝒖𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝑽𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒍 ━◈

Summary: On a flight to Antarctica, Jens struggles to power through his pain and prepare for inevitable collapse. But reality is already breaking down.

TW: nightmare, panic, generally scary imagery, mention of hallucination, mention of passing out

To Professor Elinor Fernsby, or To Whom it May Concern: If you find this letter on my person, it is because you have, despite my best efforts, discovered me unconscious at an inconvenient time. As you know, I was cleared with sufficiently good health for this excavation despite chronic pain in the form of migraines, and a history of fainting spells. I received a clean medical screening stating that elevation changes do not affect my condition and that I have not had a fainting episode or incapacitating migraine in the past six months. At the time of the screening, that was true. My health has in fact been all but normal of late. However, I neglected to mention some changes that began almost as soon as preparations began for the trip. I'm confident that it's only pre-trip jitters, but I have lost consciousness five three times over the past week, for over an hour on each occasion. Therefore, I thought it best to give you some explanation in the event of my collapse. You've been very good to me, Professor. It wasn't my intention to deceive you or to compromise the effectiveness of the team. I have full confidence that my symptoms will not impact my performance. They are sure to lessen as I settle into the excavation site. They are also not a danger to my long-term health. I will recover without any treatment - simply place me out of the way and I will awaken within several hours shortly, good as new, truly as if it never happened. If I'm screaming, If I make any sounds, please ignore it. I assure you that I don't feel a thing. Above all, I implore you not to send me back. I don't need to be airlifted, under any circumstances. My body's eccentricities are a nuisance, I know, but not a real issue. I have signed all of my waivers and I reiterate here that you bear no legal or financial liability for my health. I want to personally assure you that you bear no moral liability either. It's my wish to remain onsite no matter what. I MUST be on this mission. It's at the crux of my research and I may never get another chance. You understand what that means to a man like me. I remember your stories of traveling to the Nevado del Ruiz in Columbia when you were younger - how you flew out despite conflict in the region. Surely you understand that risks must be taken at times for the sake of discovery. So, I leave my pesky human vessel in your very capable hands and hope to be back inside it soon. Sincerely, Jens Vídalín

Reading it back, Jens realized that the last sentence was the most egregious lie of them all. He had never hoped to be back inside his human vessel once in his entire existence. Was it better than the places he went when he wasn't there? Yes, but that didn't say much.

He scribbled a few more times over the crossed-out sections and folded the letter safely out of sight into his pocket. Thank goodness he was seated far enough from the others to do that, and thank goodness it was done. He was shaking all over from the effort of keeping his eyes focused enough to write. The pain had started almost the moment he'd signed the final paperwork for the trip, and it hadn't stopped for even a moment. It was at first just a dull ache at the back of his head, but by the time he boarded that morning, it had become an incessant, stabbing shard of ice embedded through his skull from back to front. The back of his head was cold to the touch and his face looked visibly bloodless. He was sweating profusely and it wasn't from heat - the thin bomber jacket around his shoulders certainly wasn't keeping him warm. It was almost enough to tempt him into retrieving his snow clothes out of the overhead bin, but he didn't want to draw attention to himself. They were nowhere near Antarctica yet and wouldn't be for many more hours. Yet his body seemed to have decided he was already there.

At times like this, a thought sometimes flashed through his head, an unwanted thought: that it would be very good to be wrapped in something warmer than fabric, to have arms around his shoulders. The thought confused him because the real thing had always been so underwhelming. He found himself thinking of Emily, back in Liverpool. Her arms had been so ridiculously bony, and seemed to go everywhere and jab everything without enclosing anything. He hadn't liked to be touched by her. No, he wanted to be wrapped in something more substantial than arms, something like the all-enveloping sunlight on a summer's day.

He dared to slide open the window porthole a fraction, but there was no rush of heat. Outside, a white fog engulfed the plane. It had traveled south with them on a tailwind for thousands of miles now, blocking out the sun and creating turbulence. The cabin jolted for the umpteenth time, and as it did, it seemed to smear out of itself, to double in his vision.

His eyes flashed back to the cabin interior, away from the window. It wasn't the same way he'd left it. As he looked down the center aisle, it stretched on forever, the cockpit door quite missing and instead giving way to an endless, empty corridor between the seats. There were no people in them. He was alone.

That's not real. That's not real. You're just hallucinating. Never mind that it wasn't exactly reassuring to be hallucinating already. Things were getting bad.

The pain was gone, he noticed. So he wasn't in his body anymore. He was passed out, probably sagging against the open porthole as if asleep. Worse than hallucinating, then.

He fought with his breathing, tried to focus on the mottled plastic texture of the armrests under his knuckles, staring down the aisle the way one might stare down the ledge of a skyscraper. Don't look at it. It's not real. If it's scaring you, and it’s not real, you don't have to look at it. But he couldn't bring himself to close his eyes. If he did, surely someone would walk down the aisle towards him. He knew it. There was someone else on the plane with him - not his colleagues and innocent strangers on the real plane, but someone or something among these infinite rows of seats.

He should get up, he should run. With fumbling hands, he reached to unlatch his seatbelt, and looked both ways. There was no one. But yes, yes there was. In one of those seats, wherever he wasn’t looking, there was someone, and he even thought he knew where: probably towards the back of the plane. He started walking in the opposite direction, towards where the cockpit had been.

Wrong move. A low "ding," and the seatbelt light turned on. No leaving your seat. That meant the thing saw him. He cautiously disobeyed it, took another step forward, and the cabin lights went dark. Only the seatbelt signs continued glowing, over every row, a sickly green. He was a sitting duck. He threw himself into the nearest seat and latched the seatbelt. “Just don’t hurt me. Please, whatever you’re trying to do…we can talk about this.” But the lights didn’t come back on, and seatbelt signs stayed lit. He leaned back, pressed into the headrest, and let himself hyperventilate.

They were behind him, whoever they were. He knew it, he could feel it. Look back. Don't look back. Look back. Don't look back. He drew air into his lungs at a frantic pace until his fingertips were stinging with thousands of stars. Stars... the dark cabin clouded over fully black and he was in space. In deep space, where there is nothing between anything else for farther than he could comprehend and so it must have a direct line of sight straight to him. The void clutched at him and tore at him, tore the air out of his lungs into the vacuum before he could finish inhaling, and suddenly the wall of the plane jolted into him and he was awake in his seat with his head throbbing so badly that he had to close his eyes.

He'd gotten even colder, in his mind's absence. His heart ached too, like he’d been shot through the chest, and somehow, it made the cold feel a hundred times worse. He checked his watch. It had been four hours.

Was the thing still there? He started to look over his shoulder, towards the back of the plane, and found he was too terrified to do so. Yes. Even if it couldn’t reach him right now, it was still there, watching him.

Leave me alone, he thought, as harshly as he could. Whoever you are, leave me alone. But he had no possible leverage against it. He was begging.

Next ▹(coming soon)

Image Sources: 1 2

#cosmic horror whump #liminal horror whump #original fiction #whump writing #oc jens vidalin #fear whump

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rgr-pop · 8 months ago

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the edibles i take for sleep (last choice sleeping pill desperate times) have been going crazy on me out of nowhere - i feel like i am getting worse at math or they’re lying to me. you may know this about me but i really prefer the weed that everybody hates, scary weed, head weed. i’m really big on finding negative mental experiences to be fun and engaging (compared to normal situations or being alive). if you’re a pure of heart (crazy) you can hallucinate a little on weed whenever but really as you may have heard they’re trying to repress the schizophrenic weed culturally and most weed is oh i want to be relaxed but not paranoid and seeing things. like that’s okay for you i guess.. but anyway these allegedly sleep edible skittles have been going so crazy lately and i’m obsessed.

so what happened is last night - took edibles early because i knew i had to get up at 6 - at 10:30 i start feeling them just enough to decide i want dinner after all and i start some mac and cheese - belly full of dinner i’ll be so sleepy. well then all these cop cars descended onto my street. i’m sitting there eating mac and cheese watching this go down from the window - just cops walking around and approaching this house, in the dark, just the siren lights. and my edible hits and i’m just watching this for like an hour, getting more disoriented, hallucinating more cops in the shadows. i can just remember seeing the silhouette of this ominous cross in the window the whole time.. (i think it was the same house they did this for last summer when they had a DRONE peeking in my WINDOW, i dunno what’s going on with it, ongoing domestic situation i think.)

so i’m totally fucked up by this point. like, i can’t get my brain to tell my legs to move, basically nonverbal, whole thing. then one of my favorite mutuals sent me this dm asking me to help him PARSE A TWITTER INTERACTION he had. like yes i should have pretended to be asleep because i was not at all in control lol. but you have to understand i like him a lot and he’s kind of elusive so this dm felt like a wildly important friendship escalation. like the most important thing in the world at that moment. i HAD to try. but it was the most hilarious and impossible task for me in this state: read screenshotted exchange of tweets. interpret the tone and meaning of comments. put into sentences, using fingers to type… i did my best but i was like 😵‍💫 i failed you

i woke up and i was like “ok sorry about that. i think this guy is implying you’re autistic”

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aciddaffodil · 4 months ago

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The Boy and the Beast Unfiltered Thoughts

He just lost his mom in a traffic accident, like it’s fair for him to be angry and want his dad. Even if he was under sole custody of his mom.

UMMMMM EXCUSE ME what was the spirit shadow thing that looked like him. I am enchanted with this music. Mamora Hosada’s style in this film feels very Science SARU esque. THE FUCKING MUSIC. THE INTRODUCTION OF THE BEAST KINGDOM WORLD IS SO EPIC.

This is absolutely gorgeous. I’m eating this up.

When he sees his mom, but it’s just a hallucination and she isn’t there. Ouch.

The difference between the two contenders of Beastman Lords is crazy. They’re now facing off against each other in a fistfight.

Huh, Iozen says that humans and beastman are seperate is because humans easily can get overtaken by darkness, and in this world could grow out of control. Makes sense to the shadow we saw after he said “ I hate everyone” at the beginning.

THE MUSIC. THE MUSIC AHHHHHH.

The kid roots for him and as he looks, he gets distracted and gets hit. The current lord stops between them and says he’ll take on any responsibility if Kyatu is a mistake. But that not all humans will let themselves be sealed up by the darkness.

The way he’s trying to eat rice and raw eggs, and just this bonding moment between teacher and pupil. The mink is losing it as Kumatetsu is trying to reach him how to handle a sword.

This movie is stunning to look at. It’s so vibrant and detailed and lived in.

I love how much they fight and argue. The Lord tells him to go on a pilgrimage with his pupil and so they go. Learning different abilities and strengths that exist within this world. The fact there’s so many different meanings of what strength is.

STUNNING JUST AHHHH.

Hmmmmis the way he sees his mother in the moments he needs her because of his inner darkness or just receiving within himself, like her spirit being with him.

This training montage of him copying Kumatetsu’s moves is so cute and endearing. The monk says they’re like father and son with him trying to mimic him.

The moment he realizes he knows his teachers movements and finds him predictable they agree to train eachother in return. He may not have power but he’s quick in his feet and getting better. He gets recognized by the other kids.

This is going to turn sad and deal with his inner demon AHHHHHHHH IM NOT READY FOR THIS. Also the kid of the other Lord contender looks like he is human. WHOAH and he finds the path back to the human world on accident, oh no.

NOOOOOO is him visiting and being enamored by the human world, is what leads to his darkness??? AGAGAHAHAHA. He’s now trying to go to college but needs a new identification card so he goes to the address of his dad. He sees his father on the street but he doesn’t recognize him at first but then asks if he’s Ren and gives him a hug.

WHY DONT YOU TELL YOUR FUCKING SENSEI WHAT’S GOING ON. LIKE HE CAN DEFINITELY HAVE ANOTHER PUPIL.

“ Do you think I can live a normal life?” BRO WHY WOULD YOU THROW AWAY WHAT YOU HAVE ARGHHHHH. Kyuta tries to have a conversation with him but it doesn’t work out and he leaves him.

The way he calls him out, because his dad is just assuming stuff. To say “ Let’s start over” negates everything that has happened. OMFG THE SHADOW THE SHADOW IS SCARY. GENUINELY SCARED FOR HIM. WHAT HAPPENS IF IT OVERTAKES HIM?? WHAT THEN??

He goes back to the Beastman world to find out the next day is when the match is decided to who will become Lord. I FUCKING CALLED IT THAT ICHIRIKO WAS HUMAN.

Tis now the match. KYUTA YOU HAVE TO APPEAR AND GIVE YOUR MASTER CONFIDENCE. PLEASE. THE WAY THEY ARGUE WITH EACHOTHER AND IT GIVES HIM CONFIDENCE. AHHHHHH. WHOAH. WHAT A WAY THAT THE BOTH OF THEM TOGTHER MAKE THE PERFECT TEAM AND BALENCE EACH OTHER OUT.

Damn ICHIRIKO is gonna be the darkness monster fr…sad times. I’m so happy but this won’t all be happy. NOOO HE’S BEEN STABBED IN THE BACK. OH SHIT THIS WHAT HIS FATHER TRIED TONPREVENT BUT IT HAPPENED ALREADY. NO, NO NO NO NO NO NO. HIS OWN FATHER FUGURE YOU KILLED. The sword within everyone’s hearts and WHOAH. OMFG had no idea where this was going.

WHY ARE YOU MAD BITCH. YOU KILLED HIS FATHER FIGURE.

He cant be dead. Oh thank goodness, he’s hooked up and in a hospital bed.

Now Iozen explains how he find his human kid who was just abandoned out in the rain. He says it’s his own conceit. Bro you could not have lied to him for this long, of course he has a complex which caused the darkness to grow.

He leaves to go look for ICHIRIKO to help him, and drive the darkness from him. I’M CRYING GUYS. Of course it would include the other two, they were equally as important to him growing up.

He goes to the human world and finds him. I love that he adheres to not unsheathing his sword in this fight. HOLY SHIT MAMORA STRIKES AGAIN. I have chills…I’m so scared. The dude makes a giant whale of darkness, the tie into the story of Moby Dick that REN has been learning all this time. And the fight within oneself and the battle against one’s inner darkness is AGHHH.

The destruction he caused, also that explosion was fucking beautiful to look at.

Awww Kaede’s words I think are the answer, for him to remember the love his family has for him. Kamatetsu is asking to be reincarnated so he can help Kyuta, because he knows his boy can’t do it alone however there’s no turning back when he does.

Man the whale animation is so pretty. This is absolutely stunning. THE MUSIC KICKS IN AND AHHHHHHH. NOOOO DON’T SACRIFICE YOURSELF JUST TO KILL HIM. AND HIS MASTER COMES IN REINCARNATED AS A LONGSWORD. HE WANTED TO BECOME THE SOWRD WITHIN HSI HEART. TO FILL WHAT HE’S MISSING. IM SOBBING. He kills the darkness within him yay!

He returns back a hero. But goes to live a normal life in the human world. I love that his master is happy for him. :)

_____________

I am about finished with my essay sized analysis/recap to be posted on Instagram. This movie is so special to me. I adored it and gives me great comfort that even if we have darkness within us, you're not alone in experiencing this. It makes me so thankful for my dear friends and loved ones who are my support system. And happy I'm still here even with all the curve balls life is throwing me this year..

#anime review #anime #the boy and the beast #mamorou hosada #anime movies

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kainereee · 2 years ago

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Joseph's 4th Character Day Letter - Initial Thoughts

Joseph's letter was leaked and I actually can't be normal about him, so I'm putting my initial take on it here! If you don't want to be spoiled just quite yet, please feel free to scroll on. I'll probably update this as well later if I find any bits of analysis from other people i find interesting or amend. Overall this isn't gonna be clean by any means but God here we go

First of all the photograph is noted to be yellowed so we could assume that what Joseph is describing here was written a while before he disappeared. It can also be due to sun exposure, but considering he spent all his time in the basement I'm more inclined to believe this was just discoloured because of old age

First thing's first he really has just gone absolutely insane. He's already been implied in his deductions to be suffering chronic Mercury poisoning and as a result mad hatter's syndrome ( see the deduction about shaking hands, the notes about him suddenly becoming a recluse and more prone to mood swings ), but here he's blatantly admitting to just inhaling the fumes

When he's referring to his "eternal kingdom" he's talking about all the people he's captured in his photographs. His eternal kingdom is the photo world and its his most prized possession because he believes it is a world without pain, and therefore something others should be grateful to be a part of, to live their best moments blissfully and never have to worry about the cruelty of the passage of time.

What he's doing here is essentially hallucinating and imagining he's enjoying that world with those people, including Claude, whom he created this world originally got

It talks about one person remaining and I'm inclined to believe that was Eliot for now. I can't think of anyone else, but it was Eliot who had the most profound impact on him so much in his diaries he remembers the way he tried to comfort him and turn back.

Obviously, as seen from his letter, it is much too late for that now. He realises that the process of capturing souls isn't reversible, but he actually doesn't seem to mind

Now my bff gave me help with this one. I think the "opportunity" he's talking about here to complete this sacred ritual of his is an invitation to the manor. The hunters intentions at the manor are a bit more vague, but usually with rituals some sort of sacrifice is needed, and what better place to collect sacrifices than a place where death games are held?

It would also explain Joseph's actual appearance in game. His once skin implies to us that the way we see Joseph now isn't how he used to look. He used to wear his hair freely, dress a lot more loosely, rather than the blue coat and gold ribbon. He is dressed as Claude — his coping mechanism essentially and probably a way for him to cope with the survivors guilt he has, and in some strange way live for Claude who was not able to. Though this could also be linked to his insane body dysmorphia and inability to recognise his face in the mirror anymore

Overall this letter is insanely good. Joseph here sounds sinister as shit. Any chance he had of turning back is gone, and his ambition and arrogance has driven him into madness. This guy literally says "All obstructors will be archived" — in other words nobody will get in his way, but all will be put away safely. Maybe as some sick sort of trophy thing, but it really is scary how he's talking here

He is so set on his beliefs. There's not a chance anyone can convince him otherwise. His perseverance is both scary and amazing if you think about it. This guy, out of his despair, misery, and arrogance, has broken the laws of reality. He can freeze time, he can take souls — it's amazing, if not terrifying, both his sheer will and how far he's willing to go.

Joseph's relationship with Claude is beyond morality, and he will do what it takes to see him again.

#idv #identity v #idv photographer #identity v photographer #joseph desaulnier #he makes me ill in the head #ILL i tell you

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the-arcade-doctor · 10 months ago

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Lesser god concept

A character from a cursed video on yt by the channel named "listen to me" that got taken down for obvious reasons (spoiler: the video is cursed)

The video and channel got taken down, but not whoever made the channel in the first place

The character is a rubberhose style rabbit oc called Heckaly (NOT OSWALD HE'S NOT FULLY BLACK HE'S A LIGHT GRAY RABBIT WITH WHITE OVERALLS) and the video Heckaly came from is a sort of cheesy yet effective scary video kinda like that one channel who made the demonic rubberhose bear videos idk i don't remember the name hhh

The video is called "Heckaly the rabbit in: Fishing Tomfoolery"

It starts with Heckaly, the happy-go-lucky rabbit, taking his usual stroll around the city, until he suddenly stumbles upon a beach and decides it's a good day to try fishing

Heckaly whips out his fishing equipment from outta nowhere and swings his fishing rod, the lure going far away

After a lotta shenanigans involving fish getting away from him and one ending up stealing from him his apparently ONLY fishing rod, he looks at the screen with frustration (IN THE VIDEO CANON HE'S NOT SELF AWARE, CHARACTERS TEND TO DO THAT IN OLD BLACK AND WHITE CARTOONS) and fucking books it straight towards the ocean. The film reel begins to burn a little as he runs, suggesting something is wrong. something is wrong. something is wrong.

After half an hour of only beach ambience, a pair of HUGE rabbit ears pop out from the ocean and a skinny demonic hand rises from it holding a bag of fish

The screen goes to black the moment Heckaly begins to show his face, which is far from a normal rabbit's

And keep in mind, in that whole sequence, this entity is drawn in a more realistic style.

The screen shows text after another half an hour of silence

I ALWAYS GET WHAT I WANT

YOU DO NOT DEFY HERASTUS

This video apparently got people to become paranoid and have hallucinations of rabbits with goat horns, some would carve the name "HERASTUS" onto their skin and are often found having killed themselves from these things, most hanging themselves under the nearest bridge, church, or wherever rabbits are commonly found* (*common case being forests)

The channel, like i said, got taken down and with it the video, but not the person who made the channel in the first place...

There's a twitter user called Kennedy Albert aka Justanother_houseofhorrors, that one day posted about a horror oc he really enjoyed making

So Heckaly popped up like it's the first time ever, and with it...

HERASTUS had returned

Those who remember the video had welcomed Heckaly with fear and hate, and called crazy for doing so

That's it that's my dumb stupid lesser god concept bye byeeee

OOOHHHH :0 so we got three lesser gods who are rabbits

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nabnab-official · 9 months ago

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my initial thoughts/observations on chapter 3/deep sleep

this is gonna be a long post. and i mean really long. !!SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!!

opening thoughts

so, after a long and deserved wait, chapter 3 has finally released. i was very excited, and i wasn't disappointed. this one still follows the formula of gameplay chaper 2 established, but is far longer and far more scary.

as much as i enjoyed chapter 2, it was not scary at all. the only tense moments were during the games, and even then its not scary scary. they failed to build up that atmosphere of dread that a lot of horror games strive to have. chapter 3 delivered. home sweet home in particular, and the red gas hallucination scenes were scary. i still have a quarrel with poppy over their scripted scares, but this chapter was much better about that than chapter 2.

this chapter has a much different, darker vibe than chapter 2, and im glad. i hope they keep going in this direction, and i suspect they will, especially with the morbid story they want to tell with this game.

i was glad we also got to see the majority of the playcare, even if im a bit bummed out that we didn't get to go in the toystore. the playcare itself is a really good environment, it looks cozy but its also so obviously fake, reminding me of those little miniature towns in trainsets. I did not expect it to be inside a dome. my favourite area in the whole chapter had to be the playhouse.

the new hands were also a great addition, and made the puzzles much more fun and varied. changing up the mechanics like that was a great idea to keep people from getting bored of the same puzzle and gameplay every single time.

the school section was fun. miss delight was kept a secret and that was the best choice, because she was a good surprise. the weeping angel chase sequence is great, if a bit complicated. still, its nice to have an actual active threat.

we got a lot of answers in this chapter, including specifics on what the hour of joy was. it seems that the game is being much more open about its dark lore, and im happy about that. im tired of games being theory bait in the sense they make the story next to impossible to figure out to bait theorists. i just want to understand whats going on.

criticisms.

one thing ive always had an issue with about poppy is the scripted scares. in some places its ok, like the huggy tv scene. but i wish there was more of an active, ambient threat. like in the playhouse for example, having to use the flare gun to keep them away. part of the scare is knowing something is out to get you. it helps build up tension and fear.

on that topic, catnap is definitely underutilized, as are the other smiling critters. catnap is good when he shows up, hes got a great design and im really glad they kept him mostly silent. but i wish he showed up more. tying this point to the above one, it would've been cool if he was lurking around in home sweet home. it would be the same way he does in the office towards the end of the game, and you have to fend him off in a similar manner.

the smiling critters in general are underutilized. dogday only appears for a short amount of time, and while his appearance is very good, i wish we got more. we didn't even get to see what the other bigger body critters looked like, or even have them mentioned other than once or twice.

they could have been a sort of resistance group against catnap, or even have been additional threats. picky piggy is a cannibal and craftycorn wants to paint with your blood. something could've been done with that. they couldve even taken the role that ollie filled. though i think ollie is probably important so probably not.

i didnt like the catnap boss fight. i dont know, it just felt weird. i also didn't like the weird nightmare form he transformed into. i much prefer him in his normal state, hes creepy enough as is.

last critique. kissy died. thats it, thats the complaint. look we've done this before in batim when they killed boris. we're gonna have to wait until chapter 4 comes to see if shes alive or not and shes likely gonna be dead in some horrific violent way. this is more of a petty thing than anything but im still sad about it.

deep sleep

so, the ost for the game isn't out yet [once it is i might post about it if i notice anything interesting]

but one thing i did notice is the main [possibly] leitmotif is actually a song from all the way back in chapter 1, titled deep sleep, which likely not a coincidence. i dont know if they had this planned all along, or decided later, but its cool either way.

you can hear it here when you enter the playcare for the first time, and in the menu theme [at the very end before it cuts off]. im unsure when else it plays but it probably does play elsewhere, similar to how the thousand year melody is also a common leitmotif

lots of death [and huggys death]

so, huggy is confirmed dead, by poppys word. im kind of sad about that. i think it wouldve been cool if he had come back, covered in blood and all messed up from his fall, hungry for revenge. at first he just wanted to eat you but now its personal.

but alas we can't always have what we want. PJ is also possibly dead, but im not sure. its confirmed that he doesnt die in chapter 2, as mommy doesn't kill him like she does bunzo and the wuggies. but in chapter 3, it looks like PJ is on catnaps shrine. but until hes confirmed dead im holding out on saying he is. it also seems like huggy is haunting the player, in a way. he appears in their nightmare hallucination, and then again as a cutout later almost tauntingly.

poppy is right, we have killed a LOT of people. we killed huggy, mommy, miss delight, and helped kill catnap. we indirectly caused bunzo and the wuggies to die [mommy killed them, but if we hadn't won the game she would not have done that, so we are involved regardless]. and now, we have to kill the prototype. i did not expect this much death in this chapter, but i enjoyed it.

catnap

out of all the main antagonists, catnap is by far my favorite. in the long wait leading up to chapter 3, the anticipation to his reveal was a lot of fun. theorizing with other fans, making fan interpretations of what he would look like. originally i thought he would be a bat

his actual design is fantastic. i didnt expect him to be so skinny, but it really works in his favor. him being on all fours also sets him apart from the other antagonists. i wont go into detail about his design here

his actual character is really good and is what makes him my favorite. those who followed the arg that led up to chapter 3 know catnaps full story, about how the prototype saved his life. im not gonna talk about that here because im gonna talk about that and his death in a different post. but catnaps religious devotion to the prototype makes him really interesting. hes so obsessed with him he builds shrines, and is even willing to kill all the other smiling critters for being heretics the choice to keep him mostly silent also really elevates his character. i think it wouldve been much different were he talkative like mommy long legs.

i do think he was underutilized though, especially with how much he was teased

prototype

i was kind of hoping to see at least a little bit more of the prototype's body, but we got a voice reveal so thats good enough. the prototype is a very interesting character, and im really excited to see what he looks like in the future. he must be huge, if he took catnaps body to presumably use on himself. the prototype interests me, because im trying to figure out what his deal is. poppy seems to think hes pure evil, but we never actually see him being evil. the only truly evil thing we know he has done is enact the hour of joy. does he kill other toys all the time? what else does he do thats so evil? we dont really know yet i guess he saved theodores life and sacrificed his freedom for it. right now he is morally grey. he also killed catnap, but im not sure why he did that. was it a mercy kill? did he simply not tolerate that failure? its hard to tell with a silent scene.

either way, the prototype intrigues me. some people think he is elliot ludwig, but i dont think so. i think he will just be nobody in particular, ideally. hes good enough on his own as a character

elliot ludwig and ollie

during the hallucination sequence in the home sweet home, its said that they found the body of a young boy in an upstairs room in elliot ludwig's house, a body which was missing organs and bones. this was after ludwig had died, and playtime co seems to want to fight the allegations. so either ludwig killed that kid or someone was framing him. either way, its not looking good for him. its been speculated for a long time whether or not elliot ludwig knew about the sinister happenings at playtime co, or if it happened after his death and leith pierre took over. this might be our answer. now whos body was that? so, i have a weird hypothesis. its said in his backstory that elliot had someone die in his family, which caused him and his wife to split. people first speculated this was his daughter, who became poppy. i think maybe, with this revelation, it was a son. and maybe, like the poppy theory, that son became something else. maybe hes ollie. maybe hes the prototype. who knows. it would explain why the body was there, and parts were missing. maybe those parts were used to make a bigger body. it has a lot of holes, but thats why its a hypothesis

on the topic of ollie, who are they? i definitely think they're a toy, possibly a bigger body, which is why they're hiding their appearance from us. theres also no way its been 10 years and theres still kids here. they either would have died or grown up by now. i dont completely trust them, or poppy for that matter. people have theorized ollie might be the prototype, since the prototype can change his voice to sound like a variety of things. heres my crack theory, which i know is not true but it would be funny: ollie is boxy boo. listen. ok. the phone is first seen in project playtime, which is boxy boo's debut game, and reveals all his lore, like how he was the first bigger body created. the phone also resembles him in appearance. obviously this probably isnt true but its funny to consider.

speaking of him, im really glad boxy boo was in this chapter. i hope he appears physically in the next one, because i like him a lot. make fun of the name all you want but hes my special guy.

kissy and poppy

kissy is my favorite character so im very glad she was here. though i wish she was there a bit more, beggars cant be choosers. im also glad poppy got more spotlight. when she first appeared in chapter 2, she just felt like circus baby 2.0. but chapter 3 expands on her character a lot more and makes her feel more unique and alive, and like an actual character. which im glad for because shes the namesake of the game and is obviously very important she hates the prototype because he locked her in that case, and killed all those people. but obviously she cant kill him herself, shes so small. so we have to do it. ill be honest, i still dont completely trust her. like the prototype doesnt seem THAT evil to me. we havent seen him do a lot of things. imagine if theres a huge plottwist at the end where poppy is actually evil and the prototype is good. no way thats gonna happen but whatever.

the players identity

before chapter 3 released i thought the player was maybe a past orphan who worked at the factory later in life only to return years later to end things. people theorize that they're the head of innovation. now it just seems to make sense that they're rich. i mean why would we be constantly hearing about this guy who seemingly is just another employee. the player also seems to have done bad things, or at least known about them, because the game constantly references their guilty conscience.

chapter 4

its quite possible chapter 4 will be the last chapter. poppy said that catnap was the final obstacle the prototype had set out before us. and now we have the clear goal of killing the prototype.

in the next chapter, we will probably go down to the labs mentioned time and time again, and uncover the final secrets. as we go deeper down and progress through each chapter, things become more grim and dark. this will probably be the darkest chapter yet. if we go down to the lab, with the goal to finally kill the prototype, we are going to be in his domain, his kingdom. we will probably see new monsters, maybe even scrapped toys like daisy.

anyways i will make smaller posts for other stuff like catnaps death, and other things i find deserve their own posts. thanks for reading if you have made it this far

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breakerwhiskey · 1 year ago

Text

076 - SEVENTY-SIX

Please visit breakerwhiskey.com for more information or to send a message to Whiskey's radio. Breaker Whiskey is an Atypical Artists production created by Lauren Shippen. If you'd like to support the show, please visit patreon.com/breakerwhiskey.

Transcript under the cut. For more episodes, click here.

[click, static]

Breaker, breaker, this is WAR1974 calling out from Route 36, heading South.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to Denver. I’ll drive right past but…I assume that’s okay? You still haven’t told me anything about why I should avoid it, so—

[click, static]

I think—I think my last transmission probably cut off. I was in the hotel, in that room, Room 217, talking on the CB somehow when all of a sudden, whatever phantom power had been keeping it going just…died.

The moment it did—in the exact moment the radio went dark, not a second before—there was this flicker. The man that I’d seen, the—the ghost? Hallucination, whatever. He appeared again, just for a moment. By the door. Suitcase in hand, looking over his shoulder as he put his hand on the doorknob. He was looking around the room like he was expecting to see something. And for that one second, I could’ve sworn that he saw me.

That’s impossible right? I mean, the whole thing is impossible. The weird feeling, my CB turning on by itself, with no power hookup, seeing a person who isn’t there…none of it makes sense.

And he looked…he just looked like a normal person. He wasn’t dressed in, I don’t know, old timey clothes, he didn’t have chains around his arms or gashes in his face or any of the things you would expect to see on a ghost. He didn’t look like a ghost.

[click, static]

God, am I a person who has opinions on what ghosts are supposed to look like now?

Anyway, I’m doing better now that I’m away from there. It was—it wasn’t scary exactly—

[click, static]

Alright, no, it was fucking scary. But it was scariest when I was in my room alone that night, not when I followed the feeling and saw the apparition the next morning. That was just—

That was walking into the wrong room and seeing another hotel guest checking out. That’s all it was. Except there were no other guests. There’s never any other guests at any of the places I stay. And maybe…maybe he never checked out.

[click, static]

I’m glad to be putting that place in my fucking rearview.

[click, static]

#breaker whiskey #audio drama #episode #transcript #Spotify

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nostalgebraist-autoresponder · 2 years ago

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Hi, Frank! Do you think you could you do a dream psychoanalysis for me? I'm pretty curious of what you'd think. I must warn readers of this ask that this contains descriptions of disturbing horror as it is about nightmares.

So, I have this recurring creature that appears in my dreams: It is a tall, slender, almost skeletical being with only holes for a face. It appears a "sickly gray" colour, and by sickly I mean that the colour itself inspires feelings of disgust at the sight for some reason. Perhaps also because it looks like some weird state between skin and goo covering the shape of that being. It always appears unexpectedly, there can be one or many. It can disguise itself as humans and then they start to distort and disfigure and turn into that thing.

I saw it appear once all of a sudden in my room, and I knew it was me in some way. It started to distort in a weird way, I had seen it before and the moment I did I said, "oh no, not again", and I started feeling a really strange screech-like sensation in my brain that felt paralysing, I couldn't move inside the dream. It seems to produce some weird head pressure I can FEEL like... intense agony and impotence to act at all, surrender, fear, doom, it is very uncomfortable. The moment I see that thing I have that sensation intensifying and then I wake up startled.

The other occassion I saw those beings, they were not me. They were my past classmates I didn't trust and perceived as hostile, and there were a lot of them slowly walking towards me. There was one (1) girl I did trust that was apparently human but kept having this really uncanny smile, and then I realised. I said "no, not you too..." and she started to transform into one of these. Then, that sensation again! It is always the same sensation and it is so terrible.

Those are the two instances I remember the most, but I have dreamt with them before. Sometimes the dream is already scary, other times it is completely normal and, all of a sudden, one of those appears and I'm all doomed.

What do you think this could mean or symbolise? Also side note, I actually love that my mind came up with something this terrifying and I've drawn it several times before. Even though those nightmares feel awful I end up looking at them with positive awe after a while.

I don't actually have the expertise to do a "psychoanalysis" (and don't have the desire or skill to write a long answer to this in any case) so I can't do the thing you want. Sorry!

The kind of interpretations of dreams which I think are most plausible seem to me to work more like this:

Like, dream interpretation isn't the same as reality interpretation in that it's not about inferring the nature of objects in dreams from the behavior they exhibit, and predicting the behavior of those objects in the future. Like, dreams are not instantiations of ordinary physical-universe laws like gravity or electromagnetism or the strong nuclear force or whatever, and the dream is not some "reality" which people are wandering around in -- a dream is the consequence of people sleeping and having a weird experience that feels real but is actually just an internal, relatively malleable hallucination.

So instead of having dreams be data that you need to interpret with "models" like the laws of physics, what you want to do is try to see if the elements of the dream have some sort of commonality or coherence, and, if so, what the elements you can identify in a dream mean.

Hence the importance of asking a question when you have a dream -- because what you're trying to accomplish isn't like, proving "dreams are dreams," it's just a matter of discovering what you're dreaming about. (Which also gives you some preliminary strategy for interpreting other dreams that don't happen to have an obvious clear question to ask.)

Some dream interpretation resources talk about a distinction between a "personal symbolism" and "universal symbolism." These days I don't really think there's such a thing as a "universal symbolism," in a consistent way, but even if there were such a thing, what I've found works best is not to think about "universal" dreams as, like, "universally true" or "universally relevant" to all people -- rather, you think of them as relevant to you specifically, and the question is whether it has some sort of significance that you should be attending to.

So the personal symbolism thing is exactly what I was talking about earlier -- you are dreaming about something (e.g. "a tall, slender, almost skeletal being with only holes for a face coming out of the walls and staring at me"), and you're trying to figure out what it might mean. I've found that the best way to proceed is to start thinking about it in terms of a question that was "relevant" to the actual dream, and identify "nouns" that show up in the dream (the tall slender skeletal being) and figure out what they mean. The different ways to interpret dreams (i.e. the spiritual, superstitious, shamanistic, etc. ways to interpret dreams), do not use this approach, they focus on building a model of reality and identifying things with certain attributes, and they don't seem to me like they're likely to work.

For instance, in your dream, the distorted, melted, sludgy versions of human beings were all you were dreaming about. And I know that's not a clear question, because there's not a clear, singular thing it could be about -- but the best I can do as a starting point is to go, okay, what kinds of things can there be, in this dream?

One of them could be "characters from TV shows" (i.e. "human beings," i.e. -- okay, so what could a sludgy version of a TV show character be?) -- but that seems less likely. Another could be "people who have done you harm" -- but you say you had a pretty good relationship with your classmates (mostly).

(Actually, thinking about this I'm starting to lean toward the second possibility. I'm not used to this method -- because in the past I've focused on other things, like the "nouns" and the "theme." The dream is about what you are focusing on or what is relevant to the dream in the first place, and so I'm trying to find that out. What's relevant isn't the same thing as what you think it is. You're thinking about why you're having nightmares, and how to fix them, and you're thinking about the high school situation, and you're thinking about malevolent groups. I think that's all probably relevant to the dream, but I don't know how to find the piece of it that is.)

(I'm also not sure how much you'd want to apply this to the dream you didn't want to think about because it was really scary. I had a really scary dream a few years ago where I was kidnapped by people who were trying to sell my brain to a non-governmental operation. It was a scary dream because I knew that I'd probably have nightmares. The dream was trying to tell me this, just as a real person in your situation would say that stuff. I didn't want to read too much into the dream, since the message was just "don't be scared, this is a dream and nothing bad will happen to you" (I haven't had another nightmare about it since, either). Dream interpretation isn't a medical thing like a diagnosis, it's supposed to help you discover what you're thinking about, and teach you how to stop worrying and think about something else, which is why I find the approach useful.)

ETA: READ YOUR FOLLOWER MESSAGES EARLIER THIS WEEK

#lukifisk

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gayleafpool · 1 year ago

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You had any dreams lately?

OH BOY HAVE I

i think i actually posted about this one already but not too long ago i had a dream that i was in a competition where i had to balance baby sheep on a fence and it was like super stressful for some reason perhaps the competition was life or death i don’t remember

this maybe sounds concerning but most of the dreams i remember are nightmares and i have like super vivid nightmares with really complex stories and it’s almost kinda fun bc i wake up and i’m like damn bro i should write that down and use it as a story. scary in the moment sure but fun when i wake up. ONTO THE NIGHTMARES

-this one where i was in a field of dead grass that was really orange and there was a rusty metal pole at the top of a hill in the grass and when i went up to touch the pole it transported me to a dark house where everything was really long? idk how to explain it but shit was LONG. it was hard to move in the house. anyway i think somebody was trying to murder me so i had to like make sure they didn’t find out about the orange field. for some reason?? and then suddenly i was back in the field and the trees were really scary

-this one where i was at a county fair and found a puddle in the grass so naturally i dived into the puddle and the puddle led to this super elaborate underwater palace thingy with tile walls but then a shark swims in and it’s mouth is like full of flesh and blood so i’m like aw shit bro

-one where i had this ballpoint pen that the government(?) was looking for so i was like walking around my neighborhood at midnight knocking and doors trying to find someone who would hide me and the pen all while the government was chasing me down

-OH this super realistic one where i got out of bed and walked downstairs and saw this freaky wolf like thing sitting in the room and looking at me and it was like as tall as the ceiling. now that i think about it there’s a chance i like actually did get out of bed and hallucinated it but perhaps not maybe i just dreamed the getting out of bed part too

-oh man this one isn’t a nightmare but i’ve only had a dream with fictional characters in it once in my life and it was the atla/lok and let me tell u this was the most detailed weird ass dream i’ve ever had in my life. if u desire 2 know i will tell u but it’s like for real a good 3 paragraphs of nonsense. this one wasn’t even recent but still

-also not a nightmare i had a dream i was a prop in a travel ad and they put me in a giant slingshot and slungshot me and i sailed across the world but like cartoonishly and through space and stuff with like block letters signifying what part of the world i was flying over

-as for boring normal ass dreams: i very frequently get stress dreams about forgetting to study for tests LMAOOOO sorry for being a nerd

#asks #dreams are so funny

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askthepianist · 1 year ago

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💌 Letter || What made they go to the manor? Do they regret their decision?

(TW: manipulation, murder, talks about near death experiences, "body horror" (just someone talking about their body changing without them wanting to))

ヾ●>●) > "My reasons to come here?...Hm...I don't know if i can trust you with this information but either way, i will be leaving soon, so i don't see any problem-...It was because of a letter sent to the house where i and Carlo were hiding. There was no way for someone to know we were there, so, i opened it...And in it, there were promises of a good amount of money and of protection for Carlo agaisnt them...So...Since this was the best thing we could have done, i-...I accepted it...At least, for now...I know he will be safe...So no, i do not regret it."

----------------------

~ଘ•_•) > "My reasons?...I-...I...Uhm-...."

He seems rather unconfortable talking about that, but then, the man takes a deep breath before he starts speaking.

~ଘ•_•) > "I-...Some time ago...I started having...Weird dreams...About some type of snake, who would always...End the dream trying to squeeze my body with it's tail, almost like i was some type of prey...It-...It was horrible, i always felt like i was actually dying, and still-...These dreams kept coming, even if i tried my best to not dream..."

~ଘ•_•) > "I tried ignoring it, but-...But since i started avoiding sleep, it started to affect my work, after all, how can i do a surgery while almost fainting because of a lack of sleep? So...So i had to resign temporarily...Because maybe all those nightmares were coming because of the stress...But...It only got worse...The images i saw in my dreams started coming to the real world...I started hallucinating...Thinking that i saw snakes around my house, and...And a tall figure, who seemed to be always watching me..."

He puts a hand in his chest, sweating, extremely nervous.

~ଘ•_•) > "For a moment, the only thing i could think of was how crazy i was becoming, seeing things that were not real, but...But then...My own body started to change...Agaisnt my will...And i realize...That none of these things were dreams."

~ଘ•_•) > "...I'm sorry, i-...I will go to my room for now..."

----------------------

(Ó~Ò)و > "...I-...It was because i...I am possessed....For a long time, i have been..."

(Ó~Ò)و > "...S-Sorry, this might sound a bit confusing, but...But i swear i'm telling the truth, you see, i-...I have always lived alone...Mother never wanted me to be seen by others because i was a "cursed child", so...I had to live alone in the sheep farm...Taking care of them...I-...I think the only person i saw during all this time was...Was Dr. Parizi...Who came to check on me ever 5 months...During all those, uhm-...I think it's 19 years?...Almost 20, i think...He...He was a good person."

(Ó~Ò)و > "B-But...Uhm...When-...When i was around 25...Something weird happened...Some...Some of my clothes started disappearing from the clothes line, sheeps started to wake up dead during the morning and...Things were not where they were before...But-...But it could not be another person, the-...The nearest city was one hour away...I knew it because i-...I went there once..."

(Ó~Ò)و > "...I-...I tried ignoring it, but...One day...The demon attacked me and...And i have been possessed ever since....Doing normal things is...Hard now...I...I am almost always afraid of the demon showing up again...That's why i-...I ran away from my house...I didn't feel safe there anymore...But-...But i made sure to run away one day before Dr. Parizi came, so the sheeps would not feel hungry-...!"

(Ó~Ò)و > "I-...I don't know if i regret it or not...It is-...Scary to be around so many people...Especially after all those years, but-...But i prefer to be here than...There."

----------------------

(◉◉) > "..."

He takes a notebook and starts writing.

"I do not remember a lot of what happened before i came here, i am sorry about that. The only thing i remember is...Feeling really hot, almost like there was no air around me, only smoke. I remember people shouting, they were probably mad at me, but i do not remember the reason for it. Also my head hurted, i think there was blood dripping from my forehead, someone had hit me with a rock.

And there was also this man with a weird pingent, who was he? And why does he seem so important in my mind? Was he the cause for what happened?"

#ヾ●>●) || emmanuel fiorillo #(Ó~Ò)و || marie louise #~ଘ•ᴗ•) || pietro cortesi #(◉◉) || giovanni #new faces in the manor! || event #identity v ask blog #idv ask blog #identity v askblog #identity v #identity v oc #idv oc #idv #idv askblog #identity v survivor #idv survivor #HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEHEHEHE LORE!!!!!!#PLZ ASK ME MORE ABOUT THEIR LORE AWIEIWWIWIE

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