#and the girls not just helpless/the emotional ones
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Chicago Fire writers really be having B-plots about Otis starting a podcast instead of spending valuable screen time building emotional depth between its characters, huh? Shaking the show back and fourth in my mouth I don't wanna hear about how the firehouse is a family, I wanna see it! Give me some genuine, supportive father-son vibe talks with Boden, some comfort, some genuine chemistry and connection between romantic leads!
#chicago fire#seriously the guys need to be allowed to have emotions#and the girls not just helpless/the emotional ones#the characters feel shallow and that makes me sad because I want to love them so bad#that's why I like the fanfic community dude. they figured it out
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can't wait for adaar to come back to cassandra after a decade of being best friends with dorian 'thedas' nr 1 mortaboo necrostan' pavus and then hanging out with a bunch of mourn watchers through all of veilguard and embracing her like 'I love and support you more than anyone in this world and whatever you needed from them that you didn't get I'll wrestle dragons and fight gods to give you now, my love, my lighthouse, my safest place to stand. but I must regretfully report that your folks fucking ROCK actually I think dorian was right about this one'
#their relationship has survived a decade of cass being a barely moderate conservative while adaar is the closest thing#you can get to a filthy commie in thedas beneath the realpolitik strategy. they'll weather this disagreement just fine too lol#you do find a memento in the grand necropolis that mentions cassandra being at her uncle's funeral which had me flailing like#MY GIRL!!! MY LITTLE GUY OBLIQUELY MENTIONED!!!! is she. y'know. a woman of some renown? đđđ#rye and cassandra are for sure doing some kind of handshake meme over 'emotional damage that can happen#when you're a child being raised by well-meaning people who nevertheless spend most of their thoughts and time on sepulchers'#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#cassandra pentaghast#adaar x cassandra#I think adaar probably lost at least one of his parents along the way too and that's part of why he's SO tired and sad#I think harding heard about it and hugged him for five straight minutes. imagine tiny lace harding protectively embracing#the 2.7 meter tall purported second coming of andraste (the inquisitor has been reticent to define his divine situation#an ongoing ambiguity that has proved quite politically useful lol). and him very much needing it#never 4get that when it comes to inquisition I'm everything else second and a cassandra thirster first and foremost#my heart and my. well some other parts override my political brain immediately and I am helpless to stop that#cassandra trespasser slide with her sleeves rolled up over her strong powerful arms#grinning over her shoulder at the inquisitor be upon you and maybe then you'll understand
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vulnerable â§.*
bakugo x reader
ââïœĄđŠč°â§â
âyou drew stars, around my scars.â
âÂ·Ë àŒ *
summary: fluff, somewhat sad. you get hurt and bakugo comes to cheer you up. you cry to him
you felt utterly helpless. after the most recent incident, you were left on a bed rest. hurting both your knees, and back lifting a building off civilians.
you sat in the dorm, as everyone else was at school. left in silence and your emotions. your thoughts became overwhelming. falling into a slumber you your mind drifted off.
it wasnât long until you heard a knock on your door. âcome in..â you mumbled, throat dry and scratchy. you werenât sure who would be coming in to see you. it had been days since everything happened and only your close girl friends dropped by.
watching the door handle twist and pop open. katsuki stood in your door frame.
âholy shit itâs fucking depressing in here.â he stated before flipping on your light switch and closing the door behind him. you didnât want him to see you like this. you had been very fond of him since first year. slowly growing closer to him as you became adults, about to graduate soon.
âhi..â you croaked out. become very aware of your voice. you gave him a weak smile.
âhey loserâ he said dropping a bag onto your desk and pulling the chair over to your bed. before he sat down.
âi brought you some snacks. maybe youâll be less rude to me i thoughtâ he said with a chuckle.
âi-i havenât seen you.. in what feels like forever.â you said hushed. not able to generate much volume in your speech.
he took in your expression. you looked slightly unkept, he still thought you were utterly gorgeous. you had yourself hidden in your hoodie and blanket.
âthey took m-me for surgery.. right after i passed out. i guess adrenaline can only get you so far..â you said as if he wasnât aware. you didnât know it but he had stayed at the hospital the entire time.
his hardened expression switched to one of love and care. he dropped his head before saying âcan i see..â he looked sincere.
you nodded before sitting up, moving your blanket out of the way. you showed him your legs. all bruised and scarred, some of the pen from the surgery still apparent.
you awaited his reaction. wondering if he would feel disgusted or not. would this be the moment he decided he would never like you, or the opposite. maybe he would think i am strong. you thought
âi already think your strong, y/n.â you gasped, can he read your mind? âi can read you like a book.â he stated chuckling. you laughed with him.
you sat in silence before sitting up farther. âdo you.. want to see my back?â you asked him. almost wanting a form of validation. for him to tell you your scars didnât âmake youâ.
âyes. show me.â he responded, still calm. you noticed a subtle blush on his face.
you reached around your back, finding the hem of your hoodie. before groaning. you were still in a lot of pain. unable to get it over your head.
âcan you help me?â asking weakly. he didnât respond verbally, he just smiled softly and brought his hands to yours.
for his quirk being so hot, his hands were often cold. you drew in a quick breath when he made contact with your skin.
he studied you, bringing your hoodie up over your head. holding it over your naked cleavage. the doctors still didnât want you wearing bras for it could mess up your stitching.
once again you felt vulnerable. waiting for him to say somthing. he ran his fingers near your incision. you watched his face as he did so.
you felt your eyes gloss over. growing very emotional at his touch. trying your best not to cry, you let your eyes fall to your knees. staring at them instead of him.
âyou can cry around me⊠cry baby.â he said softly, his eyes now on your face. without another word you started sobbing. all the emotions that had been off, switched on from his touch.
you sounded embarrassing, stifling, groaning. you felt every emotion at once. quivering, you whispered, âiâm sor-ry you have to see me like this.â
before you could say anything else he pulled you into a hug. hugging you like you could slip away at any moment. you grabbed onto him, dampening his hoodie.
the moment was just you, intimate. vulnerable.
·:*šàŒș â±âźâ± àŒ»Âš*:··:*šàŒș â±âźâ± àŒ»Âš*:··:*šàŒș â±âźâ± àŒ»Âš*:·
i think iâm gonna make this but with kiri!! why not loll. please give me asks. iâm beggin
#anime#bakugo x deku#bakugo katuski#deku x bakugou#bnha bakugo katsuki#mha bakugou#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugou x reader#bnha bakugou#bakugou katsuki#bakugo fluff#bakugou x you#katsuki bakugo mha#bakugou x y/n#bakugo katuski x reader#bakugou katuski x reader#bakugo x reader#bakugou x fem!reader#bakugo x you#bakugo x y/n#mha fanfiction#mha headcanons#mha smut#mha#my hero academia x you#my hero academia x reader#my hero x reader#my hero academy fanfiction#my hero acedamia#my hero academia
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Evan Buckley (911) Masterlist
This was the 911 masterlist, but now this is dedicated to Evan (Buck) and there is a separate masterlist for Eddie. I hope you all enjoy them.
Main Masterlist
Eddie Diaz Masterlist
Dark! Evan Buckley Masterlist
Bobby Nash Masterlist
Evan (Buck) Buckley:
I Was Worried
Care to Dance
Buck Jr
We Made It
Professional
Did I Stutter?
See The Difference
Obsessive
Early Arrival
Bathroom Revelations
Family Favouritism
Checked Out
Helpless
His Own Miracle
You Look Beautiful
You Saved Me
Being Threatened
I'm Home
Hostage
A Piece of Me
Old Memories
Call For a Rescue
I Won't Lose Her
Double Trouble
Comatose
Helping Hands and Paws
Sick Day
Falling For Me
Communication Error (Deaf! reader)
Give Me a Reason (Deaf! reader)
Hypo State
Emergency Situation
I'm Taking You Home
Is This Your Husband
Protect His Girls
A Burden On You
It's Yours
You Need To Choose
Let Me Help
Little Bird Part 2
You Didn't Know?
A Bad Night
One In A Million
Wish I Knew
Just In Time
Tiny Little Fighter
I'll Take Him
Meet My Family Part 2
My Little Girl
Matters Of The Heart
Heated Discussion
Keep You From Harm
You've Done Enough
Birthday Wishes
Touchy Situation
Finally Coming True
A Medical Emergency
Resemblance (Series Masterlist)
Too Stimulating (Autistic! Reader)
Another Present (Christmas fic)
Mayday, Mayday
Beautiful Destruction
He Can't Have You Part 2
Exploding Emotions Part 2
It's Bubba Part 2
Can't You Be Mine Part 2 Part 3
You're Mine Now (Spin-off)
She's Not Here Part 2
Have You Slept Part 2
Strike Me Down Part 2
There's My Girl Part 2
My Squad Part 2 Part 3
Series:
Resemblance (Series Masterlist)
She Needs Help (Series Masterlist)
Call Me Dad (Series Masterlist)
Baby-Trapped (Series Masterlist)
It's Complicated (Series Masterlist)
#evan buckley x reader#buck imagine#buck x reader#911 imagine#911#911 fox#evan buckley#buck x eddie#evan buckley imagine#evan buck buckely#evan x reader#tommy kinard#pregnant! reader#bobby nash imagine#bobby nash x reader#bobby x reader
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Bloodied Bonds
A/N: This was...fun. I wanted to fit it all into one part but it was getting too long sooooo yeah.....have fun :)
Summary: When hanahaki disease festers in your lungs, how will your family help you while you hide it from your mate?
Pairing: Azriel x Reader, Rhysand x Sister!Reader
Warnings: Elain slander, dying
âàŒșđ©â ïžïžđȘàŒ»â
There they were again.
Azriel smiled at Elain with those eyesâŠthose eyes. And in your soul you felt the bond writhe with pain and clench in your chest. You remained still as you immediately brought your eyes to look at the ground beneath you. This hurt. This really hurt. A part of you wanted to deny it, wanted to believe that Azriel would remain faithful to you always, that he would stay true to the mating bond, something he desperately used to want before we got together.
Now, you were not so sure.
âSweetheartâŠ,â Cassian said from behind me, startling. He knew what you was seeing, saw it in his own brotherâs eyes. Azriel may have always been a mystery to everyone else outside the inner circle, but his eyes â his beautiful hazel eyes â showed you everything you needed to know.
âIâm fine,â You waved Cassian off, bringing down shields on the bond, shutting out his emotions, the pain from it, and shutting yourself in as a stray tear slipped down your face, âIâm really fine,â You repeated.
Truth to be told, Cassian did not know what to say to you. After you had defended Azriel since you were kids, brought him to you and Rhysandâs mother, convinced her to take him in. Cassian did not know what could come over Azriel to internally betray you in this way. However as you began coughing Cassian was alarmed when you raced towards the kitchen sink and coughed out flower petals, one after another.
âWhat the hell-â He started, moving to pull back your hair as he observed what you had coughed out. Blood and petals coated the sink and as you choked them out one by one, slowly calming down, you waved your hand magicking it away. And it was then it hit him.
You were dying.
âExplain. Now.â He demanded. Looking away you mumbled.
âA few weeks ago after I first realised he loved her, I started coughing up flowers and my tears, my tears turned a gold colour. I asked Madja what was wrong. Itâs a soul disease called hanahaki, caused by the betrayal of the heart and unrequited love. The tears were caused by the same thing, a unique symptom that is because of my magic due to being the High Lordâs sister. She said the flowers in my lungs will continue to grow until it suffocates me and I die. The star tears are just a symptom that causes physical pain, she doesnât know if there will be any repercussions from it,â Thatâs all you managed to ramble out before you doubled over and heaved again, blood dripping out of your gaping mouth as you choked and coughed on the flower petals making their way up your throat.
Cassian was at a loss of words, on one hand he wanted to be angry, angry at you for keeping this from him, for not telling him sooner so he could beat the crap out of Azriel. On the other hand he wasâŠdevastated. You had always been like a sister to him, since he first met you as a kindred and fierce spirit when you were seven years old. The three of them had been twenty and Cassian had fell to his knees before the little girl with such a bright spirit, who dared to scream in Devlonâs face when he said females belonged in the kitchen.
Cassian had sworn to protect you.
And now, against a disease he felt helpless.
âIs there a cure?â He asked.
âMadja said there were two ways, either Azriel proves that he still loves me, which we both know wonât happen when he wonât stay away from Elain for more than a few hours, or I could have the flowers cut from their roots and removed, itâs a risky procedure and even successful all my feelings towards Azriel will be removed entirely, given the mating bond, she thinks it will be stripped from my soul. IâŠ.I wanted to wait.â
âSo you either have your emotions robbed from you, make Azriel realise heâs an idiot, or die?â
You nod.
âTell Azriel,â âI canât!â You hissed, âWe both know I canât. He loves her, Cassian, I can feel it, I can see it, everytime he looks at her itâs like sheâs the one who hung the stars and moon while when he looks at me that light dies!â You bang your fist on the table.
You point to where Azriel and Elain was far out in the gardens. His shadows no where to be seen, both blissfully unaware of what was going on inside with you and Cassian.
âHe acts like sheâs the one who went through countless of interrogation, of torture, when she got captured by enemies. He acts like she was the one who protected Velaris with Rhysand when she went under the mountain to be taken advantage of, when Amarantha held me down and tried to force answers out of me,â You let out another pained cry as you slid to the ground, âI have done everything for him, been through hell and back with him. And even after everything he still wants her, still wants to be with her, still doesnât want me.â
Cassian brought you closer to him as he sat next to you and let you cry on his shoulder.
You cried and cried, and cried until there was nothing left. Cried until you couldnât cry.
And when you finally fell asleep from exhaustion, Cassian glanced out the house to the gardens where his brother trailed Elain, and Cassian made a decision.
âàŒșđ©â ïžïžđȘàŒ»â
âYou told my brother!?â You shrieked. Rhysand and Cassian was now sitting around you in Rhysâs study.
âYou told Cassian before me?â Rhysand shot back. You rolled your eyes as you scoffed, âOh please I didnât tell him anything I was throwing up flowers in front of him, not much I could do except explain.â
Shaking his head, Rhys sighed as he glanced at Cassian and they both shared a look. Narrowing your eyes, the tendrils in your mind crept towards your brother and the general, and surprise coated your face when you realised they had shut you out.
âLet me remind you what I do is my choice.â
âNot when your life is at stake,â Rhysand retorted.
So he had decided something against your will already. Of course, your brother who wanted to help everyone, your brother who thought you were his responsibility, his burden to bear. Your brother who claimed to value your opinion oh so much but then never, not once, ever considered how you feel in anything that had to do with you.
âHe doesnât care. I havenât even been actively hiding it from him, itâs just that heâs never around to notice,â You said bitterly, âDid you know he missed my birthday? You all did. Because usually heâs the one going around reminding everyone the week before. Did you know our anniversary passed and I had waited for him all day just to realise he was with her?â Stray tears slipped down your cheeks as you tried to hold them back.
Crying meant that you were weak.
And you hated being weak.
That was when Cassian spoke, âHave Madja remove the flowers.â
Rhysand shot a look at him.
âShe wonât survive otherwise. Even as we discuss this now she is running out of time, Rhys. Azrielâs infatuation with Elain is unforgivable and at least this way we can save her. Their relationship might never be the same but if Azriel is truly in love with Elain as she feels, then it is possible this way everyone wins.â
âI donât want the male who almost killed my sister in my court,â Rhys bit out.
âConvincing Azriel that what he is doing is wrong will take too long. Maybe we should have interfered when it first started but now itâs too late. We can still save her, really save her. Not their relationship but at least sheâll live,â âAnd live with a bond that will eventually diminish into nothing?â âMaybe itâs better that way.â
Glancing between Cassian and your brother, your own inner turmoil seemed to be playing out in front of you as they discussed everything that you had not been able to come to terms with yourself. A part of you could still hardly believe that Azriel would do something like this, hurt you in this way when he himself swore that he would be loyal for eternity.
Mates.
A sacred connection that determined your equal, your partner in everything.
But your parents were mates tooâŠand that did not work out well. So maybe it was time for you to let your mate go.
However, as you opened your mouth to agree with Cassian, to agree that maybe the best option would be to remove the flowers directly, the consequences of your feelings being stolen be damned, a cough climbed up your throat.
And as you coughed out bloody petals onto Rhysandâs office floorâŠ.everything went dark.
âàŒșđ©â ïžïžđȘàŒ»â
It had all happened quickly, too quickly for Rhysandâs liking.
One moment he was debating with Cassian how they would save his sisterâs life, the next moment as she was about to say something and he watched in horror as blood came out instead of words. Her eyes drooped and he raced to catch her from hitting her head on the hard wooden floors, and as his ears started ringing, holding his sisterâs lifeless body in his arms, as he watched golden tears stream out of her eyes, he noticed there was someone screaming.
And it was not until his throat hurt, until his own throat burned, that he realised he was the one screaming, crying out loud for his sister whoâs body seemed as lifeless as the one he had lost all those years ago.
âGet Madja!â He roared at Cassian, âGet her NOW!â
Less that a minute went by when Morrigan and Feyre came into the room, Feyre let out a horrified gasp as Mor took in the scene, freezing as she realised her cousin, her best friend, her only companion during the times after Eris and Keir, was in Rhysandâs arms, still and lifeless even as blood trickled out of her mouth and gold spilled form her closed eyelids.
Madja came shortly after, and Y/Nâs body was moved to a different room for Madja to work, Cassian explaining what happened and the illness in Y/Nâs body that was causing this. Morrigan took a few steps back, before she crashed into the wall of the hallway and let out her own sob.
And for the first time after Rhysand and Y/N had returned from the mountain, Morrigan wept.
Two days passed, and Y/N did not wake.
Madja estimated that they would have to make a decision within the week whether they would tell Azriel, or cut the flowers out.
And in those two days Azriel did not come.
It was only after Rhysand had asked him to meet, told him about Y/N did Azriel finally realised he had not seen his mate in days. That he had not even spent more than fifteen minutes with her in the past few months.
It was only after Rhysand said that Y/N was dying, did Azriel reach down the now cold and empty bond, and realise he had shut her out. And when he let his walls down, experienced the agony, the pain, the grief she felt even in her unconscious state, did Azriel regret.
âWhy didnât she tell meâŠâ Azriel whispered.
âBecause she heard you when I told you to stay away from Elain. I looked into her mind and I realised the day her disease started she went to find you, and you had been in my office, yelling at me that the cauldron had made a mistake, that you wanted Elain,â Rhysand laughed coldly. Even Rhys in all his beauty, his eyes were now red from sobbing, his voice hoarse from how he had cried, and cried.
âGood job, Azriel,â Cassian said from the doorway, âYou got what you wanted. Your bond will no longer exist once she awakesâŠthatâs if she survives even.â
âNoâŠ.I donât,â Azriel muttered, âRhysandâŠwhat conversation?â Rhysand furrowed his eyebrows, âAre you really playing this game with me now? My sister is DYING! AND YOU WANT TO PRETEND LIKE YOU FORGOT WHAT YOU SAID!?â
Azrielâs eyes looked back and forth between his brotherâsâŠ.when did heâŠwhen did he even get here?
Where was his mate?
Why did it feel like something just cleared from his head?
That was when Elain stepped in, holding a mug and what looked to be tea.
âAzriel, i heard your distress, drink this it will make you feel better,â She said softly, but as Rhysandâs eyes narrowed on the mug, it was Cassian who snatched it out of her hands, brought it to his eyes and shattered it on the already ruined hard wood floors.
âThat was not just tea.â
âI have no idea what you mean.â
And as Cassian lifted his head he declared, âAs General of the Night court, I arrest you for illegal possession and use of aphrodisiacs. You are charged with attempted murder of the Princess of the Night Court. You are charged with manipulation and forced betrayal of the courtâs spymaster,â And with a menacing grin Cassian said, âAnd you are charged because you bloody annoy me and youâŠwhat you have done today makes me want to rip you to shreds.â
A beat passed.
âThat isâŠ.â Cassian continued as he glanced at Azriel, with each blink clarity seemed to return to the shadowsinger as he processed everything, as he remembered everything Elain made him do, as he remembered how he had hurt his mate, âThat is if Azriel decides he doesnât want to kill you first.â
Elain let out a scoff, looking down at the spilled tea and broken pieces of ceramic in disgust, âAzriel loves me. Azriel should love me not that disgusting slut of a female, she might be a princess but she is-,â âMine.â Azriel interrupted.
âShe was mine before you interfered. She was mine before you made me break her.â Azriel turned, no doubt to go find Y/N.
âStart counting your days, Elain, because now they are numbered.â
âàŒșđ©â ïžïžđȘàŒ»â
Azriel taglist: @kemillyfreitas @going-through-shit @chessebookgirl
Part 2 here!!
Love, Ellie.
#acotar#acotar fandom#acosf#azriel shadowsinger#a court of silver flames#a court of mist and fury#azriel#azriel x reader#azriel angst#azriel imagine#azriel acomaf#azriel acotar#azriel spymaster#rhysand#cassian#morrigan#feyre#elain
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THE CONTRACTED HEART â Rafe Cameron (04)
MASTERLIST | Basketball Player & Model!Female Reader
Summary: Rafe Cameron, a basketball star, needs a marriage to fix his image, while Model!Reader needs one for citizenship. They may be the perfect solution for each other.
Warnings: smut, descriptions of violence, jealousy, usage of drugs, talks about body image/ed, angst, and lots of bickering. Reader is confident, a people-pleaser, has a traumatic past, and is a sunshine with an attitude. Rafe is a whore, possessive, cocky, and secretive about his past.
Word Count: 6.4k
Aliyah's Notes: i'll say it again, but specifically this chapter depicts heavy body image and ed descriptions + vomit so i beg of you to skip the beginning if you're uncomfortable with that. besides that, the chapter is cute and full of rafe and reader moments
No, no, no, no, noâŠ
The air in the cramped bathroom felt stifling, its walls pressing close as if they could hear every breath slipping through your lips. Your phone screen glared up at you, the message burning into your mind, twisting your insides. It felt like a rope tightening around your chest, the words somehow dragging you thousands of miles back to a place you fought so hard to escape.
It was just a text. Just words. But your body reacted as if youâve been thrown into an ice-cold river, your mind spiraling as your heartbeat thumped in your ears, louder and louder, drowning out all your sense of reason. You werenât supposed to feel this wayânot here, not anymore. You fought too hard to let a few words send you back to that place.
The text was simple, it read: "Hey, do you remember me? Just to let you know we're coming to the U.S. in a few weeks."
Your fingers, knuckles white, tightened around the phone as you tried to calm yourself. You had come so far, broken so many boundaries to make it, to have a life that was your own, that you chose. And now? Now your world felt as fragile as glass, your strength chipped away by something as simple as a message.
For years, you pushed that life aside, buried it beneath layers of success and glossy magazine covers, of flashing cameras and compliments that felt like armor. You learned to smile, to keep your chin up, to say what people wanted to hear. Y/N Y/L/N, the golden girl, theyâd call you, the one with the perfect life, the charmed career. They didnât see the cracks beneath, the memories you pushed so far down you could almost believe theyâd never existed.
You missed them, sometimes. In quiet moments, when you let yourself think of them, you felt the familiar pang of loss. But you missed them on your own terms, and never to this pointânever to the point of feeling that old, oppressive weight. The suffocating sense of having your every move watched, every thought scrutinized and molded into someone elseâs idea of perfection. Youâd broken free of those chains. Or at least you thought you had.
Your breath hitched as a tear slipped down your cheek, cold against your heated skin. You quickly wiped it away, but another followed, then another, until you were gripping the edge of the sink, trying desperately to hold yourself together. âYouâre okay,â you whispered to yourself, your voice barely a breath. âYouâre fine. Suck it up, come on.â
The words felt hollow, but you forced yourself to repeat them, steadying your breathing as you stared at your reflection. The woman looking back at you wasnât the helpless girl from your past; she was someone stronger, someone whoâd fought for every inch of her success. But as you brushed away the tears, you wondered just how deep those old wounds ran.
Another shaky breath, another splash of cold water. You didnât have time for this. Not here, not today. There was a shoot waiting, people depending on you to be the flawless professional you always were. You could fall apart later. That would have to be enough.
Drawing yourself up, you checked your reflection one last time, wiping away any trace of emotion from your face. Your fingers still trembled, but you forced them to steady, exhaling one last time before stepping out of the bathroom, your shoulders set with the poise you spent years perfecting.
As you walked back into the studio, the lights blinded you momentarily, the heat from the set lights prickling against your skin. The room buzzed with activityâassistants darting back and forth, stylists fussing over racks of clothing, and the low hum of the photographerâs voice directing the scene. You slipped back into your role, letting the familiar rhythm carry your as you took your place on set.
âFinally,â the photographer muttered, barely looking up from his camera. âWeâre on a schedule, Y/N. I donât have time for dramatics.â His voice was cold, clipped, as though your presence was nothing more than an inconvenience.
You clenched your jaw, brushing off the comment. Just keep your head down, and keep moving. You struck your first pose, forcing yourself to focus on the rhythm of the cameraâs clicks. Each flash, each snap, pulled you farther away from your thoughts, grounding you in the present. You knew this world, knew how to inhabit the perfect persona they wanted from you. You could do this.
âOkay, chin down,â the photographer barked, barely glancing up from his lens. âMore. Moreâthere, but tighten up your core, Y/N. Itâs looking a little⊠fat.â
The comment hit you like a slap, the faint tremble returning to your hands. You adjusted your pose, forcing yourself to stay calm. You've heard comments like this before. Your body was scrutinized in ways most people couldnât understand, your curves debated and dissected like they belonged to someone else. You have been trained to brush it off, to smile and push through it with the poise they expected of you.
But today, after everything, the words dug a little deeper.
The photographer snapped another shot, then lowered his camera, looking you up and down with a critical eye. âYouâre slipping, Y/N. You used to be skinnier. Are you having those episodes again?â He cocked an eyebrow, his tone dripping with condescension. âIf youâre going to stay at the top, you have to stop whatever it is youâre doing thatâs triggering you. That means discipline, diet, focus. Do you have that? Or am I wasting my time here?â
You bit down on the inside of your cheek, the words stinging sharper than you wanted to admit. You knew you gained a little weightânothing drastic, nothing worth commenting on, but in your world, even a fraction of a change was enough to invite scrutiny. You forced yourself to hold your pose, to keep the practiced smile on your face, even as your heart pounded in your chest.
âNo,â you said quietly, your voice steady but clipped. âYouâre not wasting your timeâI understand. Iâll keep that in mind.â
âGood,â he said, turning his attention back to his camera. âBecause the camera doesnât lie, Y/N. Either shape up, or Chanel will find someone who will.â
The ride home was a blur, the city lights streaking past the window as you sat, rigid, in the back seat of the car. Your stomach twisted painfully, a churning knot of anger, shame, and something that felt dangerously close to despair. Each time you closed your eyes, the photographerâs words replayed like a cruel loop in your mind, mocking you, unraveling every shred of confidence youâd managed to build. Youâre slipping⊠used to be skinnerâŠdiscipline, diet, focus. His voice echoed with the ghost of memories youâd focus so hard to bury.
You barely noticed when the car finally stopped. As soon as you stepped out, the familiar ache in your chest intensified, the weight of everything pressing down, suffocating. You fumbled with your keys, barely able to keep your hands steady long enough to unlock the door. Once inside, you kicked off your shoes, not even caring where they landed, and stumbled over to the couch. Every nerve in your body screamed, the urge clawing at you with a ferocity that was both frightening and familiar.
You sat there, breathing heavily, your fingers digging into the fabric of the couch as you fought to steady yourself. But the memories kept coming, one after another, tearing at you until it felt like you were drowning in them. You saw yourself, younger, lost, staring into the mirror late at night, desperate to feel in control of somethingâanything. The hunger, the self-loathing, the endless cycle of guilt and reliefâit all rushed back with a force that stole the breath from your lungs.
It would be so easy to give in, a voice whispered in the back of your mind. Just this once. Just for tonight. You could have the relief you craved, the escape from the pressure that felt like it was suffocating you from the inside out.
No, you told yourself, clenching your fists. Youâre stronger than this.
But the temptation was too strong, too insistent, and before you even realized what you were doing, you found yourself in the kitchen, stuffing your face with whatever you could find. You just needed to eat, eat, eat, and eat more. You blinked and found yourself in the bathroom, hands braced against the sink as you stared into the mirror, a tear-streaked, desperate face staring back at you. Your chest tightened as the shame washed over you, the familiar ache settling deep in your bones, dragging you down into the darkness youâd spent years trying to escape.
Your fingers brushed your throat, trembling as you fought against the impulse. You didnât want this, not really. You knew the pain that would follow, the emptiness that would settle in your chest like a lead weight, crushing you from the inside out. But the need for control, the need for release, was stronger than you were.
As if in a trance, you gave in, the guilt and shame numbing your mind as you went through the motions, each step mechanical, devoid of thought. The feeling of release came in a rush, bringing a momentary sense of relief that quickly dissolved into nausea and self-loathing. You sank to the floor, gasping for breath, your entire body trembling as the full weight of what youâd done settled over you.
The bathroom floor was cold against your skin, grounding you in the present even as your mind spiraled, tangled in a haze of guilt and despair. You pressed your forehead to your knees, the tears coming fast and hot, unstoppable. Your chest heaved with silent sobs, each one cutting deeper than the last as you choked on the bitter taste of regret. The walls seemed to close in around you, trapping you in a prison of your own making, a prison youâd vowed to escape but somehow couldnât.
You thought you were done with this, that youâd left this part of yourself behind. But here you were, broken and hollow, the fragile pieces of your self-control shattered beyond repair. You wanted to scream, to tear at your own skin, to do anything that would make the pain stop, even for just a moment.
âWhy am I like this?â you whispered, the words barely audible through your tears.Â
When the tears finally slowed, you felt hollow, emptied, the relief youâd hoped for replaced by a numbness that was somehow worse. You pulled yourself up, the motion slow and heavy, as though your limbs were weighed down by the shame you carried. You splashed water on your face, watching as the streaks of mascara and foundation washed away, leaving you bare and exposed, a shadow of the person you pretended to be.
Stumbling back into the living room, you sank onto the couch, the silence of the apartment pressing in around you, thick and suffocating. Your stomach ached, a dull throb that echoed the ache in your chest, a reminder of everything youâd tried to forget. You leaned back, closing your eyes, your fingers still trembling.
The silence was shattered by the faint buzz of your phone, the sound jarring in the quiet. You opened your eyes, feeling a fresh wave of dread as you reached for it, already bracing yourself for more bad news. The screen showed a message from Rafe, sent twenty minutes ago.
Rafe: âHey. On my way over. Be ready. Weâre going out.â
Your heart skipped a beat, panic flaring in your chest as you processed the words. Rafe was coming here. Heâd be here any minute, expecting you to be ready, expecting you to be fine. But you were anything but fine. The thought of facing him, of pretending everything was normal, felt like an impossible task.
You wanted to ignore it, to curl up on the couch and let the world fade away. But you knew you couldnât. Heâd see through you, heâd ask questions, and you werenât ready for that. You werenât ready for him to see the broken pieces.
Taking a shaky breath, you sat up, wiping the last traces of tears from your face. You couldnât fall apart now. Youâd have to pull yourself together, put on the mask he expected to see.Â
But as you stared at the screen, the weight of what youâd done settled over you, a cold, crushing ache that threatened to drown you all over again.
A sharp knock broke the silence, the sound slicing through the thick air of your apartment. You jolted, your heart racing as you looked toward the door.
Fuck! You hadnât even had time to fully compose yourself.Â
Another knock, lighten this time, followed by his familiar voice. âCome on, open up, sweetheart,â Rafe called out, his tone easy, teasing. He was here. Of course he was here.Â
Forcing a deep breath, you pushed yourself up from the couch, running your hands through your hair in a last-minute attempt to look put-together. You brushed a hand over your face, trying to erase any trace of what had happened, then ran to close the door of your kitchen to hide the mess of food sprawled everywhere.
The moment you opened the door, Rafeâs eyes locked onto yours, his playful smile faltering as he took you in. The lightness in his gaze shifted, softening with a concern that made your chest tighten. You could feel his eyes sweeping over your face, catching the lingering redness around your eyes, the slight shake in your hands and naked legs, the way you wouldnât quite meet this gaze.
âYouâŠâ he said, stepping forward as his brow furrowed. âYou okay?â
You forced a smile, dismissive, brushing it off as though he hadnât seen what he had. âIâm fine, Cameron. Just a long day, you know,â you replied, your voice steady but rough, your fingers clutching the edge of the door.
He didnât move, his gaze unwavering as he studied you, his expression laced with worry. âAre you sure?â he asked softly, his voice careful now. âYou donât look fine. Your eyesâŠâ
âI said Iâm fine, Rafe!â you snapped, the words sharper than youâd intended, the force of them surprising you both. His brows shot up slightly, but he didnât move, his gaze locked on yours as though he were searching for something beneath the anger.Â
âIâm just asking, but somethingâs obviously wrong. You donât have toââ
âWhy do you care?â you interrupted, your voice edged with a defensiveness you couldnât control. âItâs none of your business, alright,â Your hands tightened into fists at your sides, the sting of tears pricking at the corners of your eyes, but you willed them back, pressing down the wave of emotion threatening to rise again. âI told you, Iâm fine. Just drop it.â
The silence stretched between you, tense, your words hanging in the air like a challenge. You could see the hurt flash across his face, fleeting but unmistakable, before it softened into something closer to understanding, something that only made you feel more exposed.
âAlright,â he murmured, his tone calm, measured. He took a step back, lifting his hands slightly in surrender, his gaze lingering on you, patient, waiting. âIf you say so.â
But you could see it in his eyesâhe didnât believe you, not for a second.
You stepped back, allowing him to come inside. He moved past you slowly, his gaze flicking back to you once before staying put. You headed toward the living room, and he followed you, swallowing the lingering shame in your throat as you focused on steadying your breath.
He paused near the couch, glancing around the room as though searching for a sign of what had shaken you.
âAlright, so⊠where exactly are we going?â you asked, aiming to keep your tone casual. Your gaze dropped to your hands, hoping to mask the slight tremor of your nerves.
Rafe glanced over, he seemed to take a moment to consider his answer, studying you as though choosing his words carefully. âOne of my friends is hosting a little get-togetherâŠâ
âTopper?âÂ
âHell nah!â He quietly laughed, shaking his head. âNot this time. Itâs Kelce. He throws these gatherings sometimesâmore chill than anything else. Itâs just a handful of people, around a dozen or so, max. You think youâll be okay with that?â
His gaze lingered on you, a mix of playfulness and genuine concern softening his features. You swallowed, nodding as you offered a small shrug. âYeah, sure. Thatâs fine. So⊠just friends? Are there going to be, um⊠other girls?â
He tilted his head. âYeah, some. Kiara and Cleo are usually around for these things, andâŠâ he paused, scratching his jaw before continuing, âmy sister.â
That made you look up, your curiosity piqued. âYou have a sister?â
âTwo actually, both younger,â he replied with a faint smile. âBut only oneâs coming tonight. Sarah. I think sheâs around your age. Youâll probably like her. Sheâs⊠got a bit of a wild streak.â
You nodded and stayed quiet for a moment, lost in thought, before glancing back at Rafe. âSo⊠Iâll just go get readyâwait! How should I dress up? Is it a casual-casual or a casual-but-nicely-dressed type of gathering?â
Rafeâs lips quirked into a smile, visibly relieved to see you bouncing back to your usual self. âPretty sure, whatever you wear, youâll make it look elegant, sweetheart.â
âThatâs not helpfulâbut thanks.â You arched a brow at him, waiting.
"Just something simple," he replied with a shrug, leaning back on the couch. His eyes traveled over you, taking in your outfitâa pair of black shorts paired with an oversized, ripped T-shirt splashed with images of Barbie. Somehow, even in that, you looked hot, and he couldnât help but let his gaze linger.
âSimple?â You tilted your head thoughtfully. âLikeâŠa dress? Wait, maybe a skirt is better for this. But a dress is more of a party vibeâŠâ you started muttering to yourself, lost in wardrobe decisions. âShould I wear something with prints? Oh, waitââ
âJust wear a skirt, baby,â he cut in smoothly, his gaze softening as he watched you.
That one little wordâbabyâmade your heart flutter and stopped your train of thought cold. You caught his eyes, trying to ignore the sudden swarm of butterflies, and arched a brow at him with a teasing smirk. âOh, I see what this is. You just want an excuse to look at my ass. Bet youâre hoping for a little peek under my skirt, huh, you perv?â
Rafeâs smirk grew, and he sat up, his blue eyes gleaming with something undeniably mischievous. âIâll see your ass at some point during this marriage, whether itâs tonight or some other night,â he replied, his gaze unwavering. âGot you speechless now, huh?â
You rolled your eyes, pretending his words hadnât just lit a spark that was still buzzing beneath your skin. âNo, actually, I was just thinking of all the ways I could strangle you.â
âKinky,â he teased, eyes alight with amusement.
You groaned, chuckling despite yourself. âNot like that, you perv.â You waved your hand dismissively, shaking your head. âEnough of this. Iâm gonna go get ready.â
Before you turned, he grinned and made a move to get up. âCan I come and watch the show?â
You placed a firm hand on his shoulder, pushing him back down with a laugh. âAbsolutely not. Stay here and be patient. I wonât be long.â
Rafe relaxed, settling back with a smirk as he watched you disappear into your bedroom, and you made sure to close the door firmly behind you.
You emerge from the bedroom an hour later, dressed in a strapless leopard-print tube top that clings to your figure just right, paired with a faded denim mini-skirt. For makeup, you opted for a natural look with a subtle glow, focusing on your lips, and you left your curls loose, letting them fall naturally over your shoulders, once again.Â
You walked into the hallway, slipping on your black Louboutin stilettos. As you straightened, you didnât need to look back to know Rafe was right there, his presence a steady hum in the quiet of your apartment. Youâd heard his soft footsteps the second you stepped into the hallway.
"Youâ"
"Watch what youâre about to say, Cameron," you cut him off, throwing a teasing glance over your shoulder, "because if itâs about my ass, Iâll slap you so hard youâll fly out the window."
His smirk widened. "Now, I wasnât gonna say anything like that," He let his gaze travel up and down your figure, lingering on the way your fitted mini skirt hugged your curves. "But since you brought it upâyeah, itâs the perfect opportunity to take a peek. Especially with you bent over and all."
You straightened up, narrowing your eyes at him, though a faint smile tugged at your lips. "Rafe."
He raised his hands, palms out. "Alright, alrightâmy bad." He let his eyes travel over you one more time, this time slower, more appreciative. "But you look nice."
"Just nice?" you teased, tilting your head slightly as you stepped closer, noting the way his eyes darkened as he drank you in.
"No..." His voice dropped, his eyes turning hungry as they lingered on you. "You look hot. Really hot."
You felt a satisfied smile spread across your face. "Perfect. Thatâs exactly what I was going for."
"Well, you succeeded, sweetheart," he replied, voice thick with an admiration that felt too close for comfort.
You smiled, pushing down the heat rising to your cheeks, and made your way to the door, pulling it open. Rafe followed close behind, stepping into the hallway as you both moved toward the elevator.
"So," you asked as you pressed the elevator button, "do your friends know about the arrangement, or�"
Rafe shook his head, popping the 'P' as he answered, "Nope. None of them have a clue. Not my teammates, not my sisterânobody. So youâre gonna have to pretend to tolerate me for a few hours. Think you can handle that?"
You tilted your head, your smile turning sly. "Tolerate you? For a few hours? I mean, itâs gonna be a challenge, but I think I can manage.â
âIs that so? Gonna be that hard to put up with me?â
âI wasnât gonna say anything, in fear to hurt your poor feelings but you are extremely annoying and hard to put up with, Rafe Cameron,â you shot back, your eyes sparkling.
âOuch,â he touched his heart and mocked a pained expression. âYouâre hurting your husbandâs feelings here, sweetheart.â
âFuture husband,â you corrected with a smirk. âAnd, womp womp!â
The elevator reached the lobby, and the two of you stepped out, making your way toward the exit. Rafe opened the door for you, his hand resting briefly on the small of your back, sending a shiver up your spine.
Outside, his car was waiting, sleek and polished under the streetlights. He held the passenger door open, and you slipped inside, watching as he rounded the front and got in beside you.
The car ride was quieter than you expected. He seemed content, one hand on the steering wheel, the other resting casually near the gearshift. You stole a few glances at him as he drove, catching the glint in his eye as he noticed you looking.
Finally, he spoke up. "You know, if youâre gonna be my girlfriend for the night, youâll have to act the part."
"What do you mean?"
He smirked, shifting gears smoothly as he turned onto a quieter road. âMaybe try not to glare at me every time I look at you. Oh, and try smiling, or I donât know, pretend like you donât find me annoying.â
You couldnât help but laugh. "Noted. You have some more notes, Mr. Cameron?"
âI do, actually, future Ms. Cameron,â he said, glancing at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes. âAs my girlfriend, you should probably let me put my arm around, or even hold my hand if weâre getting really freaky.â
You raised an eyebrow, a playful smirk dancing on your lips. âOh, yeah âcause touching your hand will make me nut, right?â
He chuckled, glancing over you, his expression full of amusement. âI mean, thatâs usually how most people feelâbut more seriously, we need to make this believable. The whole world has to think weâre in love.â
You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest. "And here I thought this was a marriage of convenience. You know, strictly business. But since weâre giving notes then I think you should show a little more enthusiasm."
He chuckled, shaking his head as he navigated the streets. "Alright, I can do enthusiasm. How about I serenade you while I drive?"
"Oh my God! Please donât," you laughed, shaking your head. "Iâd like to keep my hearing intact."
"Suit yourself." Rafe grinned, glancing at you with a mock-seriousness. "But if I canât sing, then I have to hold your hand. Thatâs the rule."
You hesitated, your heart racing at the idea of intertwining his fingers with yours. âFineâŠâ
He raised his hand triumphantly, a playful smirk plastered across his face. "See? Youâre already getting into the spirit of things. Besides, itâs not like our lips havenât touchedâ"
âRafe!â you exclaimed, slapping his chest with a mix of disbelief and embarrassment.
âWhat? Iâm just stating the truth,â he said, feigning innocence as he rubbed his chest, an exaggerated pout forming on his lips. âCome on, donât get shy on me now, baby.â
âI am not shy,â you retorted, unable to suppress a smile.
âRight, and Iâm the bloody king of England,â he shot back with a horrible fake British accent.
âShut up,â you laughed, the sound echoing softly in the quiet of the car as you shook your head at his antics.
The banter hung in the air between you like a playful thread. You both lapsed into a comfortable silence, the gentle hum of the engine and the occasional rush of wind outside the car providing a soothing backdrop. As the minutes passed, anticipation buzzed in the air, making each second feel charged with excitement.
Finally, you pulled up in front of a large, ornate gate guarded by stern-looking security personnel. Rafe, unable to contain himself, leaned forward and called out his name with exaggerated bravado, âRafe Cameron!â The gates swung open, revealing a huge house with lights everywhere.
As he parked the car, you took a moment to steady your breathing, inhaling deeply to calm the flutter of nerves in your stomach. With a final exhale, you opened the door and stepped out onto the pavement. Before you stood three familiar faces, their expressions a mix of anticipation and curiosity as they waited at the door of the house.Â
You glanced at Rafe, who had just stepped out to join you, his presence exuding a quiet confidence that somehow eased your tension. The way he stood beside you, relaxed yet alert, made you feel a little more at ease.
âAm I dreaming, or are there three people waiting for usâand theyâre jumping?â you asked, barely able to contain your laughter as you watched the trio bouncing in place, their enthusiasm infectious.
Rafe chuckled, shaking his head in amusement. âYouâre not dreaming. The idiots over there are my sister, JJ, and Topper.â
âOh, I know Topper!â you exclaimed, a spark of excitement igniting in your voice. The prospect of recognizing someone made the moment feel a bit more comfortable.
âYeah, you do, sweetheart,â Rafe replied, a playful smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. His eyes glinted with warmth.
As you approached the animated group, the sounds of their laughter filled the air, creating a vibrant atmosphere that made your heart race with anticipation. Rafe walked beside you.
Topper was the first to spot you, his face lighting up with a broad grin as he waved. âLove birds! Over here!â he shouted, bouncing on his feet, you could tell he was slightly tipsy already.
JJ turned at the sound of his voice, his expression shifting from casual to surprise when he caught sight of you two. âWhat the fuck? Rafe is here with a girlâisnât thatââ
âThatâs Y/N! What the actual fuck, Rafe?â Sarah exclaimed, her voice rising in disbelief as she slapped JJâs chest, the surprise evident in her wide eyes.
As you stepped into view, the weight of their stares sent a wave of nerves crashing over you, and suddenly, the words youâd rehearsed vanished from your mind. It was ridiculousâusually, you were the life of the party, friendly and extroverted. Why were you feeling so overwhelmed now?
âHi,â you managed to say, cringing at the awkwardness of it. A rush of heat crept up your neck as you mentally kicked yourself for being so inarticulate.
âHi, pretty girl,â JJ chimed, his grin infectious. âNow that Y/N and her boyfriend have arrived, the party can officially start!â He turned and bolted into the house with an enthusiastic shout, followed closely by Topper, leaving you alone with the Cameron siblings.
Turning your attention back to Sarah, you took a moment to admire her outfitâa stunning black leather dress that hugged her curves perfectly, her makeup expertly applied to accentuate her striking features. She radiated confidence.
âIâve seen stuff about you two on social media, but I didnât expect you to actually bring her hereârespectfully, of course,â Sarah said, her gaze flicking to you as she finished her sentence and you simply shrugged. âThis is a first for you, Rafe,â she continued, raising an eyebrow at her brother.
âIâm serious about her, so get ready to see her everywhere by my side,â Rafe replied casually, but the warmth of his words sent your cheeks aflame. âAre you the only girl hereââ
âI love your dress, by the way. I donât know if I said that already âcause Iâm pretty tipsy, but I love it. Leopard prints suit you so well! Every time you wear animal prints on the runway, Iâm always so in love with how it fits you. Oh, and I heard youâre working with Chanel right nowâis that true? You can tell me; I promise I wonât spill. Plus, Iâll probably forget about it by tomorrow anywayââ
Rafe, clearly exasperated, swiftly placed a hand over her mouth. âDonât say weird shit like that, stalker. Youâre creeping my girlfriend out.â
You couldnât help but laugh softly, placing a hand on Rafeâs shoulder. âNo, itâs fine.â
âYou sure? Because she really sounded like a fucking creep,â he said, feigning seriousness, but you could see the hint of amusement in his eyes.
âGuess that runs in the family,â you teased, lifting yourself on your tiptoes to lean closer and whisper in Rafeâs ear, the warmth of his body radiating against you. âBut thank you, Sarah. I was going to say the same about you and your dress. It fits your body like crazy; Iâm honestly jealous.â
âGirl, please. Have you seen yourself?â she scoffed, her confidence shining through.
âI have, but have you seen yourself? Youâre stunning, like a goddess.â
âOh my Godââ
âAlright, enough with the glazing,â Rafe interrupted, a mock-seriousness creeping into his tone. Sarah shot him an annoyed glare, which you mirrored, both of you momentarily united in your frustration. âI introduced her to you, but there are other people who donât know sheâs here, so get out of the way, Sarah.â
With that, he gently nudged her aside, his protective demeanor hinting at how much he cared, even amidst the playful banter. You couldnât help but smile at the way he navigated the room with ease, leading you into the chaos of the party.
The room was awash in vibrant colors, illuminated by twinkling lights strung overhead. A long table was set up against one wall, laden with an enticing spread of snacks and alcoholic drinks that sparkled enticingly under the glow. The atmosphere buzzed with energy; laughter and music melded together in a lively symphony. Groups of people swayed on the dance floor, while others engaged in animated conversations or indulged in the delicious food. Rafe was rightâthough the crowd wasnât particularly large, the energy was palpable, and the music was loud enough to make your heart race.
You gently tapped Rafeâs arm to get his attention, and he leaned down slightly to hear you over the din. âWeâre not gonna go to each person to introduce myself, are we?âÂ
âHell no! Just my close friendsââ he started, but his words were cut off as someone unexpectedly leapt into his arms, wrapping their limbs around his neck with abandon. Rafe staggered slightly, instinctively holding the person tight to steady them both. Your brows knitted together in confusion and irritation as you wondered who would be so brazen as to interrupt a conversation. The person had clearly come from the front, meaning theyâd seen you two talking moments before.
Fucking prick, you cursed internally at the bold interloper.
When the person turned around, you found yourself face-to-face with a woman who had long, straight brown hair that cascaded over her shoulders. Her cheerful smile faltered briefly upon noticing you, but it returned almost instantly, though you could sense the shift in her demeanor.
âOh my God! Iâm so sorry for coming in like that,â she shouted over the thumping bass, her voice bright and exuberant. âI was just so excited to see Rafey. I couldnât contain my joy.â
You waved your hands dismissively, plastering on a friendly smile, trying to keep the peace. âItâs totally fine, donât worry. I get it.â
âIâm Chiara, by the way. Chiara Romano,â she introduced herself, extending a hand for you to shake. You accepted, noting the warmth of her grip.
âThatâs a pretty name,â you said sincerely, your tone genuine. âIâm Y/N Y/L/N.â
âThe supermodel who fled from her country, right?â Chiara asked, her eyes wide with curiosity.
You scratched your cheek, a touch of embarrassment creeping in. âWell, not exactly, but yeah⊠thatâs me.â
âWell, nice to meet you, Y/N,â she said with a bright smile before turning her attention back to Rafe, suddenly snatching his arm and tugging at him playfully. âCome with me, Rafey.â
Rafe, who had been uncharacteristically silent during the exchange, finally spoke, his tone firm. âWait! No, Chiara.â
âWhy? Itâs gonna be funââ she retorted, but Rafeâs tone shifted to a more serious note.
âIâm here with Y/N,â he said firmly, the protectiveness in his voice undeniable. Chiara halted her playful tugging, her expression shifting as she turned her full attention to you. âSheâs my girlfriend.â
âOhâŠâ she said, her brows raised in surprise as she studied you intently. âAre you two serious, or not?â
You frowned, taken aback by the bluntness of her question. You knew Rafe had a reputation for jumping from one woman to the next, but he had just referred to you as his girlfriend with such conviction. That had to mean something, right? You couldnât help but wonder what Chiara would have done if you had said no.
âWeâre seââ you started, but your voice faltered.
âI want him to say it,â Chiara interrupted, a challenging glint in her eye as she turned to Rafe. âSay that you two are serious, Rafe.â
The air grew thick with anticipation as you awaited his response. The weight of the moment felt significant; this wasnât just a casual interactionâit was a test of the fragile foundation of your arrangement. Rafeâs eyes darted between you and Chiara, a mix of uncertainty and determination swirling in them. You held your breath, knowing that you needed him to affirm the seriousness of your relationship, even if it was just for show. Rafe couldnât afford to slip up, not when so much was at stake. You watched him struggle with the words, a silent plea hanging in the air as he held Chiaraâs gaze, and you braced yourself for what would come next.
Who the fuck was Chiara Romano to Rafe Cameron?
chapter five
#the contracted heart#rafe cameron#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron x reader#obx#outer banks#rafe x reader#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron smut#aliyahs works#rafe fanfiction#rafe smut#rafe imagine#rafe fic#rafe obx#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron prompt#rafe outer banks#outerbanks rafe#rafe x you#rafe cameron angst#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe cameron obx#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron x y/n#aliyahs misc#rafe cameron x you#outer banks x reader#obx x reader#obx smut
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Are you scared of me, Princess?
Jasper Hale x human!reader
Summary: The reader sees the scars on Jasper's arms, prompting him to tell her the truth.
Words: 1,646
Warnings: talk of murder, vampire stuff idk, scars, cursing
Author's note: God this is angsty. Someone get 8th-grade me in here right now because this is what she thought she was reading at her age.
Masterlist <3
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Jasper sat in the bed placed in his room, his mate resting her back against his chest. His arms were wrapped around her waist and his face found its way into her hair. Her hands were placed on top of his on her waist, relishing in the feeling of comfort he gave her.
They were a strange pair, the two. The bloodthirsty vampire fighting his instincts to feed and the helpless human girl who wouldnât be able to fight him if she tried.Â
But she trusted him with her whole heart. It had been hard at first. She had to marinate in the knowledge of the existence of vampires, and he suffered the constant smell of her sweet scent, calling out to him every second.
It was so hard for him, even on a good day. Her smell of her blood always drew him in.Â
The only thing holding him back from draining her was the feeling he knew he wouldnât fight the minute her body became lifeless: dread.
But now, they laid in each otherâs arms in complete trust.Â
Her hand wandered up his forearm, stopping at the unevenness of his skin. She looked down, pulling his sleeve up briefly.
Bite marks and scratches laid all up and down his forearm. She didnât want to know how far up his arm it went, thankful for the sleeve.
She felt him shift. He felt uncomfortable. Scared of her reaction. But above all else, he cared for her. She could practically feel his gift poking at her emotions, intertwining them with his. A sense of calmness fell over the two of them before words could form.
Her hand still laid against his arm gently, her thumb brushing one of the bites to comfort him in her own way.
She felt his head move away from hers, leaning back against the bed frame. She used this opportunity to turn in his grip, now facing him. Once there, she pulled his arm into her lap, her eyes inspecting the scars in front of her.Â
He simply watched. He couldnât hide them, and he would never lie. Not to her. So, he simply sat there to let her ask him or draw her own conclusions.
She finally looked up, her eyes locking on his. Sheâs thankful of his gift, because otherwise, she may have been teary-eyed. âTâŠ.Tell me, Jasper?â
His eyes softened. God, she was so good to him. So perfect. So innocent and pure. Everything he knew he wasnât.
Her blood would be so easy to take. The feeling of adrenaline would be worth the-
âItâs⊠a long story, Princess. I donât think you wanna hear it.â
She was visibly hurt by his answer, her hand retreating from his. âOh. I⊠Iâm sorry. I didnât mean to pry⊠I just⊠just thoughtâŠâ
He chuckles to himself, teasing her, âThought what, Princess? You really wanna know?â
She nods, her eyes glossy, holding an unreadable expression.
He sighs. He wanted to hold off from telling her this. That was his plan. But now, she had ruined the perfect plan in his head. Not that he could be mad at her. His heart couldnât do that.
He pulls his sleeve up his other arm, showing her the scarring. âDâyou know much about the Civil War, Darlinâ?â
She nods, her eyes never leaving his forearm.Â
He smiles, âGood girl. Knew you would.â He took a deep breath, not that he needed to, but it allowed him to collect himself and decide what to say. âI was turned during the Civil War. A woman named Maria convinced me to help her train a vampire army. I was foolish and naive. I thought she was doing the right thing.â
He looked up at her to gauge her reaction. She simply stared at the scars, her head low in thought. He took this as a sign to continue.
âYou know.. I was, uh, a major, in the war?â
Her head perked up at that, her eyes meeting his. âA..a major?â
He smirked, âYeah. Major Jasper Whitlock.â As he said so, she felt a wave of pride come from his body. She didnât need Jasperâs gifts to sense it, for it had come so plain.Â
He continued, âI trained them myself. Her army, I mean. I know you donât know much about us, but newborn vampires are more dangerous. More deadly. Theyâre stronger than most.â As he said this, she could feel his tone becoming sharper.Â
âStronger than Emmett?â
He nods, âYes, Princess. Much stronger. You stay away from a newborn.â It had meant to be advice, but it came out a demand. âTheyâre more deadly than you can imagine. Iâve watched them doâŠâ his eyes look off in thought, ââŠunspeakable thingsâŠâ
A small silence overtakes them before she breaks it. âAnd you trained them?â
His eyes quickly move back to hers, the amber color glowing, âYes, maâam.â
âHow?â
âNot easily. They donât take too well, as you can see,â he said, his head motioning forward at his arms. âI punished them, too. Killed them when they got out of hand or werenât what we needed.â
He feared to look up at her, but he couldnât resist. Her gaze was on the window. He didnât often wish for a gift different than his, but at this moment, he wished he could read her mind. See what was going on in that lovely little human brain of hers. But he couldnât. He sensed she wasnât distressed. He had to see her eyes to be sure. Not for his giftâs sake, but for his own. His hand outstretched to grab her jaw gently, pulling it towards his own. âAre you scared of me?â
Her eyes catch his, their faces a foot apart. ââŠShâŠshould I be, Jasper?â
He considers her question quickly with a nod, his voice low. âReally fucking scared.â
She blinks at his wording, her brain struggling to comprehend everything in front of her.Â
He wanted to joke, take the dark mood away, but he knew this was serious. âI killed before this,â he gestured to himself, âI killed during thisâŠ. Iâll probably have to kill sometime after this. Iâve murdered many with no remorse, their bodies laying at my feet. Innocent lives and murders, too. I overpowered the strongest vampires with ease, ending them mercilessly. My heart holds no mercy. So, Iâll ask again. Are you scared of me?â
She wasnât sure what to think. She couldnât put it into words. Was she scared? She supposed so. Any sane person would be. But she trusted him. She trusted him. She trusted him. âYou⊠You wonât hurt me, Jasper.â
He wanted to laugh at her sweet response. How naive of his little lamb. She said it so sure of herself. Of him. She didnât know of the constant, deep thirst of blood he fought back every time their eyes met. She didnât know of the pain he felt when she parted from him. She didnât know of the horrors he had endured. And most importantly, she would never understand the terrors he had caused.
âYou donât know that, Princess.â
She took a quick breath in at his response. Every reasonable thought she ever had was gone. She should run. She should hide. But she didnât. She wouldnât. Her body remained here, on the vampireâs bed, his hand gripping her jaw while staring at her like she was prey. Every reasonable thought was gone.
She reached her hand up to place on top of his on her jaw, flinching at the cold feeling of his skin on hers. âYou wonât, Jasper.â She began to even sound confident.
He smiled at her, his sharp teeth peeking out. This girl believes in him that much. What a stupid girl. Too trusting. Too hopeful. Too pretty. Too good. Too perfect. He could absolutely ruin her. But he wouldnât. âCâmon, Princess. Admit youâre a little afraid.â He needed to hear her say it.
Her hand gripped his, pushing it down her jaw lightly until it rested over her throat. His hand now wrapped around her neck, her hand lightly resting on his.Â
He was speechless at her touches. Her movements. Her willingness. Her loyalty to him. His eyes stare at his own hand, admiring the view in front of him. Her hopeful eyes staring into his while his hand rested above her only source of oxygen. It was intimate. It was scary. It was perfect. She was perfect.Â
His thumb brushed her throat lightly, feeling her heartbeat quicken at his touch. He could practically feel the blood running through her veins. And she trusted him still.Â
They sat there in silence for a while, simply admiring the other.Â
She was perfect. Too innocent for her own good, but so loyal and willing for him. Her pretty face was the perfect view for him. He could stare at it until the end of his days. And she trusted him with her life.Â
She trusted him with the one thing his body thirst to destroy. And he loved her all the more for it.
He was strong. Resilient. An open book for her to read at her leisure. Protective was a word she was familiar with. She felt like his arms were the only thing she needed to live in the world. She trusted him with her life.
His other arm moved up her body, his hand getting lost in the hair on the back of her head. He pushes her forward, capturing her lips in his.Â
The hand on her neck stayed. But it never twitched.Â
They pulled away from each other to let her catch her breath. Their faces were close as they tried to think of the right words to say.
âYouâre not afraid of me.â
It wasnât a question, it was a statement. She wasnât afraid of him.Â
................................................................
#twilight imagines#twilight fanfiction#twilight#twilight x reader#twilight x y/n#jasper hale#jasper hale x reader#jasper hale imagine#jasper hale x you#jasper hale x y/n#major jasper whitlock#vampire#vampire imagine#vampire fanfiction#jasper hale fanfiction#the cullens#vampirism#light angst#fanfiction#fanfic
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Opposites that attract
Wanda Maximoff x Fem reader
Word count:2,243
Synopsis: when your teacher assigns you to work with your stalker you would never think that you would end up with her entangled in a carnal way
Warning: mention of harassment, Wanda is mentioned that she is bad, lesbian sex writing attempt (Iâm sorry if itâs bad ;( Iâm just a virgin girl writing sex scenes) let me know if I skip any
Note: English is not my mother tongue so Iâm sorry if there is a spelling mistake; (by the way I accept requests both internally and by messages >. <
Wanda was the popular girl par excellence at school. Her long reddish hair cascaded down her back, and her penetrating green eyes seemed to shine with an inner light that made everyone want to be her friends. She was the captain of the cheerleading team, and her smile could illuminate a room completely, Wanda knew how to get attention, it was no surprise to anyone Wanda had everyone around in the palm of her hands
On the other hand, you are the nerd. You wore your black glasses and your beautiful hair was always tied in a large ponytail, so you prevented your hair from getting in the way while you read or did your work and your great love for science fiction and fantasy turned it into a target for Wandaâs contempt
For years Wanda had done her own mission in tormenting you, sometimes she made fun of your clothes and how you dressed, but especially of your hobbies and how studious you were, you almost always tried to avoid her but she always managed to find you you never claimed her for her bad treatment or because her cruel behavior with you, you have never done anything wrong to her it was just you avoiding everyone like a plague except Wanda for you she was a beautiful demon who tormented you sometimes you felt sick just thinking about how her big green eyes looked at you you felt attracted like a moth that was heading to the flame of a fire that you knew it was dangerous too close but the fear is gone a long time ago and now you only have a sad attraction towards your beautiful stalker
But one day everything changed Mr. Johnson assigned them a project Together oh Wanda had hit a scream to the sky you on the other hand you settled and you couldnât help but feel a little emotion of being with the big green-eyed monster, she quickly made it clear to you that they would get together in the library and that that would never change things between you you just nodded and followed her like a puppy where you didnât know where to get into
The first week was not easy Wanda always postponed excuses or she went with some player under the stands to kiss or do other things so you left yourself alone in the library thinking of a great idea to have the highest grade since you didnât care much you just wanted Wanda to feel proud of your idea and see how no matter you were committed to your effort, Wanda thought you would demand the teacher that
You will change that you wanted another partner but you didnât and that intrigued Wanda, one day while you were still thinking of a great idea for the project she appreciated with her cheerleader uniform she sat next to you and she simply started talking about the project not much was said that day until they still reached an agreement in which they both liked
Wanda began to look at you more she liked how your plump cheeks showed some adorable daisies when you talked about something you liked, oh how your beautiful hair you let it go letting it fall like a waterfall oh she wanted to touch your shiny hair and tangle her hands in it, Wanda began to desire you and love you as if her life depended on it you were no longer that helpless girl who didnât tell her anything itâs just you in your maximum glow and she liked it
While they were still working on the project both began to get closer and share more things about each other, the love for literature was something that both shared and could not avoid sharing books or that both liked to criticize teenage love movies in that small space in a corner of the library they began to create a great bond and it was their space where no one could interrupt
One night while they were working late in the library Wanda looked at you and you were a little surprised what she said âyou know I never thought of telling you this but I actually like working with youâ
You couldnât help but smile a slight blush showed on your cheeks and that nice flutting on your chest returned âI also like working with youâ
Wanda smiled and for the first time in all these years you could feel that she was sincere, it was not that burlesque smile she had when she bothered you with her friends it was just her, Wanda got closer to you invading your personal space a little you were frozen not knowing what to do âyou know and/n I have to admit that I was very wrong about what I thought of you, I like you and/nâ
Your heart beat quickly since you didnât think that the popular girl who tormented you felt something for you, Wanda began to slowly approach you you could feel her breath on your lips it was warm you wanted to be as close to her but you had never kissed anyone and you were panicking for your luck Wanda realized âcalm and/I know I made a mistake with you and Iâm very sorry but I promise you that there is nothing you donât want pretty girlâ
âItâs not that Wanda, itâs just that Iâve never kissed anyone beforeâ your confession encouraged Wanda more for having you a sweet and inexperienced nerd girl you were made for her
âJust let yourself go I promise to guide you in everything my sweet girlâ suddenly Wanda joined her lips to yours they were soft and gentle, your body was excited they fit perfectly it was as if they were designed for this like two puzzles that came together perfectly
As they walked away, panting for air, Wanda smiled at you. âIâve wanted to do that for a long time,â she said
Your eyes opened in surprise since everything felt too unreal âReally?â You Asked
Wanda nodded, her eyes shining with mischief. âReally,â she said
And with that Wanda threw herself back at you leaving you trapped in the uncomfortable library chair but you didnât complain at all it was the perfect place for your first kiss
While they kissed passionately Wanda began to wander through your body trying to look for all the pleasant places that made you sigh, she carefully touched your thighs and then went up and dropped a hand on your soft chest Wanda moaned when she felt that you were only wearing a shirt and that you were not wearing a bra that allowed her to pull one of your nipples a little making you let out a slight moan, for Wanda it was the most enchanted sound she had heard and wanted more, she slowly guided her hand to your thighs and price or carefully your parts you jumped A little but that only made Wanda want you even more
Wanda walked away not without first giving you a slight peak on your lips it was adorable to see you wanting more, they stayed for a while watching until Wanda spoke and you could see how her eyes showed a little mischief and pleasure âcome on honey letâs get out of hereâ she said.
You quickly said that if they both put things in their respective bags and left the library behind, Wanda took you by the hand and went to the dormitories of the campus she held you tightly
You walked in silence, the tension between you increased with each step you took, finally you reached Wandaâs bedroom, she opened the door and let you in first and then closed the door behind you
It didnât give you much time to observe the room since Wanda attacked you quickly it was an even more desperate kiss than the one they gave in the library, Wanda wandered through your body touching you everywhere leaving you clouded by her and her closeness, both wanted more and needed it
Wanda walked away and looked at you with desire and passion she wanted more and you wanted it too she wasnât going to go around the bush âI want to fuck you, I want to make you mineâ I took you by surprise a little but they came here for a reason
âWanda make me yours as you have always wantedâ Wanda smiled she carefully guided you to her bed she sat on your legs her hands wandered towards the beginning of your shirt and I silently asked you if I could take it out, you quickly raised your arms and your top quickly disappeared leaving you uncovered
âYouâre really beautiful and/nâ Wanda was dazed looking at your beautiful and plump breasts
âYou are too Wanda, alwaysâ she smiled at you and her kisses this time began to go down your neck leaving the odd mark that surely tomorrow would be a beautiful purple
Wanda touched your breasts carefully letting you get used to her touches but it was not enough for you âmore Wandaâ she gave it to you joined one of your breasts in her mouth and it was like touching the sky Wanda sucked and bit slowly you were sure that if she continued like this you would still reach a fast and pleasurable orgasm
Her hands went to your private parts, Wanda put one of her hands in your panties moaned when she felt how your moisture pierced your panties both hurt a moan of pleasure âGod knew you were impressive my smart girlâ the compliment made your cheeks blush
âI want to feel you completely Wandaâ she nodded and walked away from you she began to take off her clothes slowly she was hypnotized by each of her movements, Wanda was completely naked and you were even more in love with her âyou are even more beautiful in your nudityâ and for the first time you saw how the popular girl blushed but it did not last long since she threw herself at you and took off your clothes leaving you in the same state as her
You could feel how Wandaâs pleasure dripped into your vagina and how it began to mix with yours she guided your hand to her area and guided you so that you gave her pleasure she was in love with every sound she made and how her breasts began to bounce on your face without a doubt Wanda maximoff was a work of art and you felt lucky to see her on top of you and see how she used you at will ânot yet honey first I want to make you feel goodâ you were going to protest but your brain was erased when Wanda went down to Your area and began to lick your clitoris carefully
Wanda was an expert you could feel in her movements on her tongue, she wanted more from you and she was going to have it she began to go down even lower reaching your virgin hole she began to slowly put her tongue in you you jumped a little because of the intruder in you but quickly the pleasure returned you tried to guide your hand towards your clitoris to stimulate you but instead you received a slap from Wanda
âDonât be greedy little one accept what mom gives youâ the soft title that she herself gave you made more of your juices sprout âoh my little whore likes mom to make her feel goodâ
âYes, mommy, I just want to make you feel proudâ you replied quickly while she ate you as if you were her last meal
Carefully she put a finger inside your tight hole the burning was almost pleasant but your attention only fixed on Wanda in how she sucked your clitoris the pleasure came back harder your walls squeezed deliciously Wandaâs finger
âCome on pretty girl come for meâ and it was enough to make you run your walls squeezed strongly, your body trembled with pleasure it was the most delicious thing you have ever felt, Wanda went up and kissed you you could taste yourself in the kiss
âItâs your turn let me make you feel good like you did with meâ Wanda smiled but denied, she separated your legs and accommodated you so that their sexes will come together both let out a moan
Wanda began to move slowly it was a delicate back and forth both synchronized their flows began to mix, both approached and kissed between kisses delicious moans came out the bed creaked strongly without a doubt the backrest will leave a mark on the wall but they didnât care they just wanted to feel in a more carnal way
Wanda quickly reached orgasm her beautiful back arched and you followed her later if you could hear how her flows sounded and that made you almost have another orgasm, she carefully got off you and pulled you still hugged carefully she put a blanket on them both and they only looked at each other in silence it was only you two their looks said everything they wanted to say they gave each other a last kiss and both fell asleep with a smile without a doubt both would thank the teacher for putting them together at work
#elizabeth olsen#wanda maximoff#wanda marvel#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda x y/n#mommy wanda#wanda maximoff x you#wanda fanfic#wanda imagine
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Part 1
Thinking about Isagi Yoichi being a nervous wreck for your guys first date.
He doesn't even know how he managed to get you to say yes to his shitty proposal. It all went wrong, but, as always, you made the wrong seem right and did the unthinkable: you agreed to going on a date with him.
This date needed to go perfectly. He can't mess this opportunity up. You were going to see how he's the perfect boyfriend for you, both gentle and funny, and accept his "proposal" when he asked the awaited question: "Do you want to be my girlfriend?".
I mean, c'mon, going on a date with a girl can't be that hard, right...? Well, for Isagi it sure was. Because it wasn't just a girl. It was you. And that thought alone made him feel like he might faint on the spot.
And so, the week preceding your date with him, Yoichi is planning everything meticulously. He needed every help he could get.
And who is better to help him than his friends?
7 days before the date.
"No, no!" Isagi screamed "She wouldn't act like that! You're not helping at all, Nagi."
"I wanna sleep." Seishiro said, removing the phone that he was holding in front of his face with your picture on it "Why does it have to be with me and in my room? Can't you practice in front of a mirror or something?"
"It doesn't feel the same!" Isagi huffed, running his hands through his hair "Just one more time. Remember, I helped you hide from Barou when he chased after you for wetting the bed with your hair, and you said you owned me one. Therefore, you're repaying me and can't run away from this."
"Okay then" Nagi snored, and put the phone with your photo in front of his face again
"Try to get her personality right this time" Isagi rolled his eyes and grabbed the paper with his speech. The moment he looked at your face, he blushed hard. Boy, he was so head over heels for you it was almost ridiculous. "Hey! How are you today? Hope you're doing fine!" Okay, great start. I didn't stutter. This is going to be perfect.
"Hello Yoichi-kun. I'm fine, thank you for asking. How about you." Nagi said monotonously while reading his own paper with the phrases he was supposed to say. It was actually kinda funny how he said this without any emotion.
"I was doing well, but I'm feeling e-even better now that you're here!" Yoichi said and shot Nagi finger guns while showing a strained smile. "So, where do you wanna sit--"
"Nagi! I bought you some lemon tea!!--"
"REO! KNOCK BEFORE ENTERING." Isagi said while his cheeks burned with a red so bright you could amost see smoke coming out his ears.
"Isagi. What the actual fuck--"
6 days before the date.
"I'm surprised you even decided to help me" Yoichi said while looking at a menu
"It's out of pity" Reo, who was sitting in front of him, said "You are helpless. But I'm gonna help you make her have the best date of her life" he smirked
Doing a signal with his hands, Reo called his driver, who parked the car right in front of their table.
"Okay. Now, get into the car."
"Uh... where are we going?? I thought you told me to meet you here so we could practice how I would act."
"And that's exactly what we're gonna do. Just get into the car, don't you trust me?"
'No I don't' Isagi thought, but he didn't say anything. He stepped into the car, obtaining a smirk from Reo, who also entered the vehicle.
"See, that wasn't that hard, was it?" His smirk widened, but soon disappeared when Mikage put on a serious face "Now, pretend I'm her. Here's the situation: we just got to the place of the date and we're about to leave the car. What do you do?"
"I... open the car door, get out and close it right after."
"Wrong. You open the car door, get out, hold it for her so she can also exit and then close it. Geez, this is going to be harder than I thought." Reo sighed "Now, let's practice. Do what I just told you"
Isagi nodded. He then opened the door, got out of the car and held it open so Reo could also exit.
Just when he thought it was all going well, a bee landed on his nose. Desperate to scare the insect, he started to shake his hands in front of his nose
"Shoo! Shoo!"
"OUCH!"
"Oh shit." The same hand he was using to scare the bee away was also the hand he was previously using to hold the car door. And his hand couldn't do 2 things at the same time. So, when he released the door, it strongly hit Reo's face.
"Shit. Reo, I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry too, but it's not because of me" Reo made an angry face while rubbing his forehead "I'm sorry for your date. Let's try again. Do it properly this time."
With a sigh, Isagi entered the car again.
5 days before the date.
"I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but I need your help, Otoya." Yoichi said and swallowed hard, knowing that his next words would be a punch to his ego, but it needed to be done. "I'm a disaster! When I was training with Reo, I spilled coffe on him, the car door hit his face and I made him fall when I pulled the chair so he could sit on it. And I know you talk to a lot of girls, so you must know what to do."
"You came to the right place, dude." Otoya smirked and held open his shared dorm's door "Fear not, me and Tabito are going to help you get that girl."
Okay. When he said they'd "help him make you fall for him", he didn't imagine it meant watching Otoya flirting with Karasu wearing a wig for 10 minutes straight.
"Did you take notes?" Eita asked
"Yeah, I did" Isagi bashfully answered while holding up the little notebook he had in hand, which was full of notes about Otoya's advices on how to "step up his game".
"Okay, now it's your turn." The ninja said, seating down
"W-what? I didn't know I would also have to flirt with Karasu"
"It's for practice only! And you just have to pretend it's not me" Tabito answered, and then made a high pitched voice "I'm the girl you like!" He battered his eyelashes and put his hands together.
"S-sure..." Yoichi said, getting up "Okay so... uhm... how do I start?"
"Tell her a pick up line"
"Any?"
"Any."
"...do you play soccer? Cause you're a keeper." followed by finger guns.
The silence in the room was almost papable. Otoya and Karasu exchanged looks. Isagi was sweating. Karasu and Otoya locked gazes again. And then all of a sudden...
They began to laugh. Hard.
"Oh shit..." Karasu said, wiping away a tear from his eyes "This was so bad!"
"I know, right?" Otoya agreed "He did the finger guns and all that"
"W-what?! Was it that bad??"
"The worst I've ever seen. I wish i had recorded it"
"Nah, don't worry. I did, it's right here."
"KARASU, DELETE THAT RIGHT NOW."
4 day before the date
"Okay..." Chigiri said, analysing Isagi's hair "Based on the shape of your head, we could do a buzzcut. Ladies like it."
"You're sure you know how to cut people's hair right?" Isagi asked nervously
"Yeah I do. Just sit back, relax and let me do my thing"
With a sigh, Isagi sat down on a chair in his room, patting his pants with his hands
"It's just that this week has been absolute hell for me! I screw everything up everytime I try to practice for my date! The way things are going, she's going to hate it! I'm actually so scared right now you have no idea"
"I didn't remember telling you I could be your therapist" Chigiri smirked (what's with his friends always smirking at him??) "But if I coukd give my input in this, I'd say you just need to be yourself. Don't try to change. You're a nice guy, I'm sure she'll like the date"
"That... actually helped. Thank you Chigiri."
"You're welcome."
Wow. Things were going great for once. Nothing bad had happened! Maybe it meant that his luck was back, and the date was going to actually go as planeed!
"Uhm... Chigiri. There's hair in my nose"
"Just brush it off"
"I'm scared to move"
"Why? Just take it off"
"If I don't move, nothing can go wrong"
"Ugh, I'll take it off for you, you traumatized coward"
Yoichi discovered something today: his nose is very sensible. He just wishes he had discovered it in a different way.
*ATCHOO*
"Fuck."
"What? Is it over?"
"I'm done here. I did my work." Chigiri said in a hurry, packing his things quickly and then leaving. But before he stepped out the door, he shouted "I'd suggest you look at the mirror" he then smiled worriedly and shut the door
"Look in the mirror? What does he even mean...?"
When Isagi saw the hole in his hair, he let out a scream the whole neighbourhood heard.
The third day before the date was spent solving the hair issue
2 days before the date
"I don't have clothes."
"What do you mean you don't have clothes? What about all of these T-shirts on the floor?"
"None of them are good enough!" Isagi shouted
"I think you're too worried about this date" Hiori commented "Everything will go just fine, don't worry"
"Yeah! You just have to act as yourself!" Bachira added "If she accepted to go out with you, it means she already likes you, even if just a little!"
"I don't know, I think I might just cancel it. I think I'm too plain and boring for her?? I don't really know it anymore, man."
"There's NO WAY you're going to cancel it" Hiori said. With a jump, he got up from Isagi's bed, held his shoulders ans shook them while he spoke to him "Listen here tou little shit: I will NOT tolerate your endless rambling about her anymore. You finally got a date with her and want to throw it all away because of some senseless insecurity?? She accepted because she already likes you, Isagi. You don't need a whole new personality, new looks or anything. Just go as yourself. I can't take you talking about how you wish you were her boyfriend and all the things you want to do with her. Just grow a pair of balls and go to that date, goddamit!"
A gentle silence settled on the room
"He's right, you know?" Bachira broke the silence, unusually serious "You don't need to be Otoya, Reo or Karasu to make her like you. Just do what you'd normally do. I'm sure she'll like it"
"I think you guys are right" Isagi said, smiling "I'll just be myself!" He looked at the air and clenched his fist, doing a celebration and determined pose.
"Yeah!" Bachira hyped him up "That's the spirit! "
"Just drop the finger guns please" Hiori joked
"WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY FINGER GUNS??"
The day of the date.
He wasn't as nervous anymore. The talk with Hiori and Bachira really did help him, after all. He was actually determined.
You both were going to enjoy the date. He would make sure of it.
"Wow. You look beautiful" Isagi said, looking you up and down when he saw you at the restaurant. Turns out Reo's lesson was useless, since you both didn't share a car together.
"Thank you!" You said, giggling "You also look very handsome if I do say so myself!"
Isagi reached for the hand that was behind his back and pulled out a red rose
"For me?" You smiled, grabbed the rose and sniffled it. And oh, how he wished you'd smile only at him for the rest of his and your life. It made him feel even better knowing that he was the one who made you smile so brightly
He gently grabbed the flower from your hands and put it in your hair, putting a strand of your hair behind your ear in the process, careful to not let the thorns prickle you. He then smiled and grabbed your hands, looking you straight in the eye
"It reminded me of you, since you're both pretty"
Old habits die hard, they say. And so, even though everyone told him not to do it, he did it. The finger guns.
"I-it was cringy, wasn't it?" He said, nervous, when he saw you laughing at his (pathetic) attempt at flirting
"No it wasn't. I think it's kinda cute, actually" you linked both your arms together and smiled at him again (damn woman, did you want to kill him?) "Now let's go have the best date ever!"
You were perfect. And so, when you both entered the restaurant, there was only three things on Isagi's head, and he would make sure that all of them were going to happen.
Be yourself.
Enjoy.
Make her smile.
And so, you both went inside the restaurant, ready for fun and not knowing you'd get out with a new title that you would both proudly wear: "boyfriend and girlfriend".
~ A/N: Not proofread!! Also, I actually hate this sm omg
#blue lock#bllk#blue lock x reader#bllk manga#bllk x reader#bllk x you#blue lock x you#isagi x you#isagi x reader#isagi x y/n#bllk isagi#isagi yoichi#loser isagi holds a special place in my heart
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A yelp left your mouth when Childeâs hands landed on either side of your head with full force. His eyes narrowing as they stared deeply into your soul, the emotion finding its way all the way to your heart.
The two of you had just come home from his parentsâ house, you spent the evening taking care of his nephew together and it seemed that it got the baby fever fueled on his end.
âYou looked so beautiful tonight..â He leaned in to trail kisses from under your jaw and down to your collarbones. âTaking care of my nephewâŠâ
He didnât give you a chance to say anything, do anything or even process the images he was putting into your mind before he slammed his lips against yours, capturing them in a passionate kiss.
The soft sounds that left your lips tangling in a harmonic melody with the deeper groans that played in Childeâs throat.
It didnât take long before both of your clothes were off and thrown onto the floor, the heat of your bodies increasing with every additional movement.Â
âMy love..â His voice a gentle contrast to his desperate touch and the sudden contact of his tip against your pulsing hole. The teasing soon ended when he thrust into you, bottoming out immediately, causing you to let out a painful moan which was laced with so much pleasure.
He grunts with every thrust, âMy.. Mine⊠You were so pretty today, my angel- my darling.. Iâm going to fully claim you as mine tonight.â
He kept moving faster, your breaths and moans helpless stutters, your mind a scattered puzzle of broken thoughts.
âIâm going to breed you. Make you the mother of my children. Breed you.. I want my baby to grow inside you..â
His movements didnât falter. His hand moved to your hip to gently hold onto you. His lips pressed under your jaw, the hot breath of his words hitting the right places of your heart as his cock hit the right places of your insides.
The hand that once lay on your hip now moved across to your stomach, âRight here.. You will grow because of me. All mine. My beautiful girl, carrying my child. My pretty girl.â
For someone panting and grunting as much as he was, he managed to get his words across quite clearly, making sure to let you know how much you meant to him and what his intentions were.
You couldnât even breathe properly because of how intensely he was thrusting into you, so close to reaching ecstasy. âFu..u~ckâŠâ
âSo.. good. You're going to be so good at carrying my child.â His movements become more precise and steady, trying to hit specific parts of you to ensure a positive result of his plan and to make you feel good. âIâm going to fill your insides⊠breed you, I want to breed you..â His voice was low and direct.
That was when your name became a continuous chant rolling from his tongue, with every time came a harder thrust until the final one that made your body shake from pleasure.
You trembled as you felt his warm liquids paint the walls of your insides, resulting in loud, breathless moans to escape you while Childeâs own noises hit your ears.
Neither of you moved - you didnât dare to move a muscle. You felt so good. So full. His cock still twitching and pulsing inside you.
âThat..â You take a breath, âthat was amazingâŠâ
âI'm glad you think so.â He kisses your face with a low giggle vibrating through his body making its way to yours. âThat was just one round of many. I wonât stop until Iâm certain that I have successfully planted my seed in you, my love.â
Taglist: @lov3-ly @velvetyshu @coffeeisbehindyou @sanestventisimp @bokukenmakuroo
lmk if you wanted to be added or removed!!
#childe smut#childe x reader#tartaglia#tartaglia x reader#tartaglia smut#genshin impact x reader#genshin smut#genshin x reader#kinktober 2024
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hiii !! may seem a bit basic, but chuuya picks up reader after a stressful day at work with his motorcycle fluff and smut đŸ.
thank you, u're the best !!
àšà§â hey, thereâs nothing wrong with simple! i appreciate you sending me a suggestion ⥠it's been awhile since we've visited my fave ill-tempered redhead anyway and he deserves all the attention àšà§â fluff. smut. deep throating. praise. rich-boyfriend!chuuya x fem!reader. quick lil 1.9k word drabble. lemme know whatcha think, luv u àšà§â
⥠MDNI âĄ
Me 'n My Girl ïœĄËâœ
so proud to be in your world, just me and my girl â.Ë
â
Ëâ⧠àšà§ â§âË â
A warm mid-evening breeze swept through your hair as you stepped out of large doors of your office building and let out a sigh. The smell of petrichor bounced off of the pavement while a light rain cascaded over downtown Yokohama.
Under normal circumstances, it wouldâve been your favorite weather, but the stillness of it was just another reminder of the unrelenting storm of anxiety thatâd been plaguing your mind all day.
Nothing had really happened. Work went okay. Your commute there was okay. Your coworkers were okay. Your lunch was okay. Everything was seemingly okay, but that's what made it worse. You couldn't pinpoint the source of your discomfort. Couldn't place the blame on any one single thing for making you feel so off. It was a phantom annoyance. A problem that didn't seem to exist to anyone else besides you.
"Shit." you mumbled, feeling your purse slip from your shoulder as it, along everything it was holding, fumbled out of your reach and spilled out into the middle of the sidewalk.
You were halfway down the stairs, your pumps clicking against the concrete when your hand suddenly reached for the railing. The heel of your shoe breaking clean off, almost knocking you completely off balance.
It wasn't the time to cry. You'd made it so far - managed to hold it together for your entire shift and you were finally at the finish line, but your capacity to handle any more minor inconveniences was well beyond its limit. You swallowed down the lump in your throat, unable to fight back the hot, frustrated tears that streamed down your cheeks while you took both of your shoes off and you gathered up your belongings in defeat.
Chuuya rounded the corner not a second too soon, the loud vroom of his engine coming to a gradual halt as he kicked his foot out to put the motorcycle in park before stepping off.
He smoothed down his disheveled hair, his smirk quickly fading the closer he got to you.
"Baby..." he said softly, looking at broken pair of shoes in your hand and the haphazard way your bag had been slung over your shoulder. "What happened?"
"Nothing," You lied, shaking your head. "It's fine."
He knew you too well though. Knew that if he simply nodded and waited a minute, it would pour out of you without him having to pry. He put a hand on your shoulder, letting you avoid his stare until you finally caved.
"Today was just stupid," You sulked, "Everything was horrible for no reason and then my fucking heel snapped and now," You were fighting an uphill battle against your emotions. More tears pricking at your eyes as your gaze caught his. "And now I can't even ride on the back with you because I'm barefoot and everything is ruined."
Even though he hated seeing you get this worked up, he couldn't deny that there was something so fucking cute about how pouty and helpless you became when things didn't go your way. He took pride in knowing that you needed him, that he was the one you relied on to pick up the pieces when life got too stressful.
"Stay here," he said, taking his leather jacket off and draping it around your shoulders. "I'll be right back, okay?"
You nodded at him, watching him tuck his hands into his pockets as he crossed the street. It was easy to forget who he was sometimes. How merciless he could be with other people when he was so gentle and attentive with you. He was a Port Mafia executive who doubled as a golden retriever boyfriend when no one was looking. Calloused and feared by some of the scariest people in Yokohama and yet for some reason, physically incapable of saying no to you.
You wiped your tears away watching him flick his cigarette onto the sidewalk, an unexpectedly large Chanel bag hanging from his wrist.
"C'mere," he said, taking your hand as he led you to the Ducati.
You plopped down on its leather seat with both legs dangling off to one side while he knelt down and opened the bag, sliding a gorgeous pair of black open-toed suede heels onto your feet.
"Gimme the broken ones."
You pulled them out of your purse with a small smile, letting him throw them away in a nearby trashcan before returning back to you. "Better?" he asked.
"You know there's an Adidas store right around the corner?"
He smirked, placing both hands at either side of you, his mouth grazing yours with a whisper. "My girl had a terrible day at work and you expect me to make it worse by buying her cheap shit?"
Your heart fluttered, another slight grin tugging at the corners of your mouth as you breathed in the comforting smell of his cologne. "Your girl is really lucky to have you."
"Yeah, wellâŠ" he mused, "I have a feeling she'll be makin' it up to me later.â
â.ౚà§Ë.âĄË àŁȘ
The ride back to his house was peaceful with hardly any traffic for a Thursday night.
There was something about being on the back of his motorcycle that made you feel so indescribably close to him. From the way your body pressed against his to the way he'd tell you to hold onto him tighter. You loved the looks people would flash the two of you as you'd speed past them. The butterflies that flooded your stomach each time he'd start to go faster than he should've. Even if he had a bad habit of occasionally breaking the speed limit, you still trusted him entirely. He was well aware of the difference between having a little bit of fun and being reckless and he'd never cross that line when he was with you.
You felt infinitely better by the time you pulled into the garage, carefully letting your legs fall as he shut off the engine. Your bad day felt like a distant memory - your mind now comfortably occupied with the thousand-dollar shoes that were decorating your feet and the way his eyes lit up as he helped you down.
It was hard to process sometimes that he'd been waking up next to you almost every day for the last year and still looked at you like you had put the stars in the sky.
You grabbed his arm before he could make it inside the house, gently pushing him back onto the seat of his bike. He raised an eyebrow, but didn't stop you as you hovered above him and began undoing his belt.
"You always make me feel so good." You whispered, reaching up to let your lips catch his while your hands continued to unbutton his pants. "I wanna return the favor."
You could feel him growing hard as his tongue swirled against yours with fervor. A gloved hand resting on the back of your neck to pull you in closer while you reached for his zipper and freed him from the fabric that was separating the both of you.
He let out a low groan when your palm met the base of his cock, delicately wrapping your fingers around it as you started to move uppp and downnn at just the right pace, earning even prettier noises from him.
His grip tangled into your hair, moving your head to the side so that he could descend down your neck. Kissing and nipping away at your soft skin while you continued to stroke him. His movements were getting harder to control the faster you went, squeezing him so fucking perfectly that he nearly ripped the front of your shirt open.
You let out a small yelp as he roamed across your chest, lightly slipping your nipple between his teeth while his blue eyes travelled up to yours. "Get on your knees for me."
You nodded, keeping your stare locked with his. Your hand still going in the same motion as you repositioned yourself, kneeling in front of him so that your face was front and center with where he wanted you. You pulled his pants down further, your core aching as you obediently slid your tongue along his base.
"Fuck," he hissed, his mouth dropping open at how tantalizingly thorough you were, "God, that feels â hah â that feels⊠so.... good."
You took your time, coaxing more heady praises out of him as you made your way up his length, letting a generous amount of spit trail down his shaft while your hand held him in place. His pink tip was practically dripping with pre-cum by the time you reached it, begging to have your pretty little mouth wrapped around it.
You smiled against him, looking up at him with doe-eyes before giving in to his body's needs. "It's all mine, right?" You asked, causing him to twitch in your hand.
"All yours." He groaned, doing everything he could to stop himself from shoving your head down onto him. He wanted you so bad it hurt, but even in the midst of his clouded thinking, he was still more concerned about you. If you needed to hear him say it, then that's exactly what he'd do.
"It's all yours, baby." He exhaled. "I'm all yours⊠Every inch of me is all â fucking...your...s"
His words were quickly taken from him though, stolen by the way youâd flattened your tongue and pressed it firmly against his tip.
You watched his eyes roll back as his hand gripped your hair, the two of you working to find the perfect rhythm.
You loved the breathy noises he made for you. The way his hips thrusted forward while he buried himself into the warmth of your mouth. The feeling of him getting harder with each slurp and squelch that echoed across the garage as you struggled to take the whole thing.
"Keep going." He grunted, still fighting the overwhelmingly feral urge to slam into you. "Doin' so good f'me."
You went as deep as you could, easing him into the back of your throat while your tongue continued to glide across his shaft.
His movements became more frantic, his voice breaking the faster you went. "God â damn..."
You kept up the same unrelenting pace, drool spilling down your chin as your eyes locked with his again.
"Fuck," his moans turned into guttural whimpers, his body thrusting desperately in search of release. "Just like that," he choked out, "just like that, don't â fucking stop, please baby... don't stop, I'm â"
He looked lost, completely entranced by the hold you had over him as a lewd warmth coated the back of your throat. More carnal obscenities pouring from his lips as he slowly regained control over his breathing and pulled out of you.
"Next time â" he panted, helping you to your feet before leaning in to kiss you. "I'm buying you the whole fuckin' store."
â.ౚà§Ë.âĄË àŁȘ
#rem writes#bsd smut#chuuya nakahara#chuuya x reader#chuuya nakahara bsd#chuuya smut#bsd fanfic#bungo stray dogs smut#nakahara chuuya x reader#bsd x reader#bsd x reader smut#bungou stray dogs chuuya#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs fanart#bungo stray dogs x reader#bsd#bsd chuuya
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I Want You to Stay (03) | JJK
Pairing:Â Jungkook x (f.) Reader
Genre/Tags: boss!JK x assistant!reader; idiot strangers to lovers; slow slow burn; k-drama feels; angst, drama, fluff, smut
Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, unhealthy coping mechanisms; family drama; minor injuries; power dynamics (JK starts off as a jerk); work-related anxiety, feelings of helplessness, insecurities; childhood traumatic experiences, nightmares; sexual harassment, prior incidence of domestic violence (PLS PLS BE CAREFUL WHEN READING); arts and business/property devt talk thatâs probably inaccurate; commitment issues & emotionally constipated characters; cold and detached JK; explicit sexual content (specific warnings stated per chapter) (18+)
Chapter Word count:Â 14.8k
Series Masterlist
Status:Â Ongoing
Series summary: Working for Jungkook isnât the same as working for Hoseok. For starters, Jungkook doesnât smile, he doesnât appreciate you, and he gives you too much work. It doesnât help that heâs incredibly handsome and has women at his beck and call. But as the tension grows, it becomes impossible to resist him. Youâve dedicated yourself to your job for 8 years so when you finally decide to put yourself first, he asks you to reconsider. And while you know that leaving is difficult, you learn that when it comes to Jungkook, staying is always so much harder.
Playlist đ¶: on the way home
A/N: I've been thoroughly enjoying your asks and replies about this story (sorry I canât get to each one!) I see that a lot can relate to what OC's going through and I'm sending you hugs! đ€ Again, I appreciate your love and excitement. And uh... Golden JK in that white tank. YUP. đ€ Hoping you enjoy this one!
And as always, my biggest thanks to @wonwoonlight đ„°
PS. If I canât tag you, pls fix your settings!
The spring in your step tightens the closer you get to Jungkookâs penthouse the next Monday. Walking here to start another week, thereâs a mix of emotions youâre carrying with you.Â
You got to spend a proper weekend. On Friday, you made yourself some cold noodles and then watched a movie with Jimin and Soomin on video call, whoâd said theyâll be visiting you in a week. You took the train to Daegu on Saturday, went to the park, then stayed in to enjoy Min-wooâs cooking and the girlsâ stories about school and their youth clubs. You then buried yourself in your motherâs embrace as you told her about your week. You didnât want to say too much, not wanting her to worry that her daughter isnât being treated well at her job, but you suppose you said enough.Â
âI wish I was strong enough to protect you from everything,â sheâd told you softly. âAll I can do is just give you hugs and say words of encouragement that might not even mean much.â
âAnd you still are, mom. I look forward to being with you because of those hugs. But more than that, you were strong enough to protect me from the bad guys,â youâd assured her. âJungkook is many things but heâs not a terrible person. I can handle him.â
And you meant it. He may be hot-tempered sometimes but heâs not evil. But just because he made you go home early last Friday, it also doesnât mean heâs suddenly redeemed in your mind. Sure, he didnât email you at all over the weekend unlike last time, but he also still didnât apologize to you nor show remorse.Â
Perhaps that small nod after he called you telling you that you could go home was his way of saying sorry, or maybe it just isnât in his vocabulary. You wonder if Hoseok had told him off but even then, itâs a pretty quick change, if you could call it that.Â
Regardless, you felt like a human being again these past few days; you just wish Jungkook woke up on the right side of the bed this morning and doesnât find a reason to complain about you.Â
Unlocking the door, youâre surprised to hear silence - there are no grunts and deep breaths nor the sound of leather hitting leather from his morning workout. You scan the floor before walking around - a habit youâve developed after finding that laced underwear last week - and then peep into the door on the right, only to find untouched equipment and no other traces of him.Â
Youâre in the living room when you hear another door close, prompting you to turn around and see a woman appearing from the hallway on the other side of the penthouse. Her hairâs a bit disheveled and sheâs wearing one of Jungkookâs coats that you saw in his closet.Â
âUh, who are you?â The woman scoffs, her arms crossed and eyebrows raised now.Â
Taken aback, you just stare at her, until you realize sheâs not wearing anything underneath so you look away.
You try to make sense of who she is and how you could get out of this situation. You know for a fact that Jungkook doesnât have a girlfriend, at least thatâs what Lucas had told you, but who knows what Jungkookâs been up to since he got back? There was that red laced underwear from last week after all. Maybe he does sleep around like what Do-hyun said. Maybe this woman just doesnât know Jungkook has a female assistant. Maybe heâsâ
âHey, Iâm talking to you,â she says, sounding more annoyed now.Â
âOh. Uh, Iâm Mr. Jeonâsââ
âSheâs my assistant,â Jungkook answers, catching you off guard, given that you hadnât noticed him walk in.Â
Heâs not in his usual workout attire, although him in a white tank top and gray sweatpants with mussed hair somehow seems more overwhelming than him in nothing but gym shorts. You glance at him as he stands next to the woman, whose face suddenly lights up. Not wanting to look at her, you shift your gaze towards the ceiling, trying hard not to look awkward as youâre rooted in place.Â
The woman looks at you from head to toe and you feel her judging you, assessing you, while Jungkook stands there, yawning and combing his hair with his fingers.
âJust your assistant?â She asks, sounding incredulous.Â
âYeah. What else would she be?â Jungkook answers nonchalantly. Looking at you, he nods ever so slightly that you almost miss it, another hint of acknowledgement youâd seen last Friday. âJust eggs on toast. And coffee.â
âYes, Mr. Jeon,â you say, exhaling the breath you were holding and then walking to the kitchen to start on his breakfast.Â
âI donât know, another one of your girls? I see you with a new one every time,â she huffs, sounding bitter, but Jungkook doesnât sound amused.
âWhat are you still doing here?â He asks, walking to where you are then taking the glass of water you prepare for him. âI called a service for you last night.â
âI was too tired,â she says, and you donât miss the sultry tone of her voice now. âYou tired me out, Jungkook. I could barely get off the bed.â
âAnd why are you still here?â He asks, clearly not having it with her teasing.Â
âBecause Iâm still tired,â she smirks, having followed him to the kitchen.Â
You feel tense once more; you definitely donât want to be part of this conversation in any way nor be privy to it, especially given what obviously happened between them last night. And especially not with Jungkook looking and sounding the way he does this early Monday morning.
âAnd I was thirsty,â she continues.Â
He sets his glass down and opens the refrigerator and takes out a bottle of water that he hands over to her.Â
âUgh, how romantic,â she rolls her eyes, finishing it in a few gulps.Â
âI have to go to work,â he tells her, frustrated that sheâs being stubborn about not leaving when he no longer seems to want her around.Â
âActual work, or, you know, work?â She says, gesturing towards you.
You make the mistake of looking at her smug face, the insinuation not lost on you. Itâs insane how she can just make claims like that, and you feel that just like you, Jungkookâs getting pissed.
âCan you just leave?â He says much more sternly now. âI canât start my day with you still here.â
âOoh, how rude,â she giggles. âShouldâve expected youâd be like that even outside of bed. I like that.â
She walks back to the room, leaving you and Jungkook on your own. You continue to work on his eggs while he stands by the counter, rubbing his temples. Youâre unsure if itâs because of her or from last nightâs alcohol, but you get aspirin and also a bottle of energy drink and set them in front of him before returning to preparing his meal.Â
The woman comes back shortly in last nightâs attire then walks towards Jungkook.
âIâm leaving,â she announces, tilting his chin so he would face her. âIâll see you again, yeah?â
Jungkook turns away and does not respond, leaving her to laugh as if thereâs a joke that only sheâs in on.
âGoing all quiet on me now, huh?â She says. âYou werenât like that last night. I can still hear your moans, actually. Fuck, they sounded so good and so loud.â
You almost hit your finger as you slice the apple, clearly not expecting for this stranger to say something so intimate, knowing thereâs another person in the room with them. You donât know if she wants to intimidate you for whatever reason or maybe just make you feel uncomfortable. Whatever it is, itâs working, as youâre unable to focus on the task at hand now.Â
Jungkook still doesnât say anything, and itâs what prompts her to finally say goodbye.Â
âFine, Iâll leave now,â she whines. âBut that was an amazing first time. I hope it wonât be the last.â
Her giggle annoys you for some reason, even more when you mistakenly look her way. Her smug face unnerves you as she holds your gaze while she says, âIâll see you again, okay? Iâll make sure youâll scream my name next time,â the words obviously directed at Jungkook.Â
She finally exits the penthouse but she doesnât take the tension with her because in this large apartment with you and him, you feel a little too hot, a little too alert, yet somehow a little too curious.
Jungkook groans now as he finishes his energy drink, and he doesnât know what heâs more frustrated about - the fact that the woman whose name he doesnât remember didnât go home, or that youâd found out about it in the most embarrassing way and heâd done nothing to stop her attempts at making you feel uncomfortable because thatâs definitely what she was doing.Â
He doesnât know how it affected you but even he can tell that it wouldnât have been good. Not that heâs ashamed of his lifestyle but itâs different when you, of all people, get to see what that looks like. You did see the laced underwear on his kitchen floor last week, and he knows you definitely tried to pretend you hadnât. Perhaps the image of arrogant, playboy Jungkook just solidified in your head and the fact that maybe thatâs what you think of him is making him feel uneasy.Â
Not that he cares about what you think - he definitely does not - but he just doesnât want that to affect how you would treat him in a professional sense, as if heâs some reckless man who works too hard and parties much harder, even if thatâs kind of what he does.Â
The hangover doesnât help at all; he shouldnât have chugged that wine while the woman was giving him head, which was amazing, he reminds himself. He just knows he wonât be seeing her again after this morning because sheâd been stubborn and shameless, and definitely not because of how she spoke to you and the insinuations she made.
âMr. Jeon, your breakfast is ready,â you inform him, breaking him out of his thoughts.Â
He takes a seat on the table and you sit next to him, taking out your iPad to start your rundown of last Fridayâs meeting and this weekâs schedule.Â
âSoââ
âWait, give me a minute,â he stops you, and he realizes just how little sleep he actually got and heâs gonna have to push through todayâs busy schedule despite feeling physically out of it.Â
âOkay, sir,â you say softly.
He munches on his toast with his eyes closed, and when he opens them, his gaze falls on you, sitting upright on the chair looking clean and proper in your blush blouse and beige skirt. You seem to be reviewing the reports from last week, your eyebrows scrunched as you scribble on the screen. He knows you took the hours-long trip to and from Daegu over the weekend; the visit, just like any, must have been tiring. Yet you come to his place everyday without fail, ready to do what he needs you to do, and he doesnât even know if youâve had anything to eat yet.Â
âHave you had breakfast?â He asks.
âE-excuse me?â
âBreakfast. Have you had it?â
âO-oh. Yes, I had some crackers and fruit on the way. I ate on the bus,â you respond.
He remembers your address from your staff profile. You live about 40 minutes from him, almost double if you commute. You come at 6:30 everyday, so he can only imagine what itâs like for you every morning.Â
âWhy donât you drive?â
âI donât have a car, sir.â
âShouldnât that be part of your contract? Or a benefit of some sort?â
âIt isnât. I believe only the CEOâs assistant does,â you respond.Â
âBitna has a company car.â
âMs. Jung requested that when she was still President.â
âThen Iâll request one for you. It's⊠itâs too early. And you canât always be assured of public transportation. There could be delays. Or an emergency that would require you to drive.â
Of course, heâd want you to get a car so that youâre more accessible to him. Just when you thought thereâs actually a bit of his heart working this time, he reminds you why there isnât.
âThatâs true, but nothing has happened so far. And there are other options should there be,â you say. âI also donât know how to drive so there is no need, Mr. Jeon. I leave my apartment early enough to make sure I get here on time, and Iâll let you know if I will be late.â
Jungkook just hums, even if thereâs more he wants to know. What about late nights? What if thereâs a storm? Well, he does know - he did see you miss out on taxis and then just walk last Tuesday; he wonders how you got home then, and how many hours of sleep you had after all that.Â
He lets it go; itâs too early to think about this.
âGood. We can run through the minutes now,â he says.
So you do, stating the points and confirming your actions for each one and then noting down his as well. You try to focus, and youâre able to for the most part, but itâs not easy when he sits just a few feet away from you, with his bare arms propped on the table thatâs just hard to look away from.Â
Youâve always liked tattoos on other people, and the art on his right arm looks so delicate and personal; you wonder what someone like him would value enough to ink permanently on his skin. Even his untouched arm is mesmerizing, toned like every other part of him, with beauty marks that you spot as well. It doesnât help that his slightly long hair keeps falling over his eyes, prompting him to comb them with his fingers every time.Â
What also doesnât help are the womanâs words from earlier, as sheâd managed to make you think of Jungkook in a very different way, given her descriptions of how heâd been last night. You donât know what she intended by doing that, but you didnât miss her insinuations about your relations with him, which are definitely far from the truth. Learning that heâs rough and loud in bed is also knowledge that you couldâve done without. Somehow, he sounds like how he looks - expressive of negative emotions, and the type to drain the other person.Â
He also sounds like the guys youâve slept with.
The thought alarms you. These are things you shouldnât be thinking about your boss, about the man who pays you, about the one who makes you miss meals and buses and who makes you angry because of how he treats you.Â
You try to dispel these ideas by coughing - the loud sound helps, and you also want to distract yourself from how distracted you are at your task because somehow he keeps getting more and more attractive after every glance.Â
He stands up, and just when you thought heâd be angry after your disruption, he surprises you by placing a glass of water in front of you.
âYou can drink, you know? You can make yourself a cup of coffee. You can even cook yourself breakfast if itâs just crackers you eat in the morning,â he says.Â
Yes, you think to yourself. Youâve been wanting to try his coffee because of the fancy machine but breakfast sounds⊠too domestic.Â
âThank you, but Iâm okay. I mean, the snacks fill me up just fine.â
âItâs not proper breakfast, though,â he argues.Â
âWith all due respect, sir, eating takes time away from all the things I have to do. I manage just fine.â
Expecting an annoyed expression from him because you did just imply that you do too much, you instead see the tiniest hint of guilt on his face, as if he actually feels bad that youâre unable to take care of yourself because of him.Â
âYouâre not a servant, Ms. Cho. Youâre not disallowed to do basic things just because of your job.â
âYou have standards, Mr. Jeon,â you say, throwing his words back at him. You donât expect to see his face fall a little, and youâre surprised that you seem to care. âI need to meet them, and Iâm still familiarizing myself with how you want things done, and that takes time. I donât mean to imply that you treat me like a servant because you donât. I just⊠I want to be able to do things right and Iâm still learning.â
The words hit Jungkook. He knows heâd been too critical during these first weeks, and thatâs more because heâs unable to manage the initial attraction that heâs trying so hard to temper. He couldâve gone on correcting you constructively, with no need for harshness the way he did with Lucas when he started.Â
Youâve also been doing this for a few years. Youâve been working for the VPâs office longer than he has - you know the people and the processes more, yet youâre the one claiming you need to learn and do things right. Even he thinks his father, whom he never thought was the best at looking out for his people, wouldnât be angry at those below him for irrational reasons. Somehow he thinks heâs worse than his old man now.Â
But the word sorry isnât in his vocabulary. Heâd rarely ever said it, and the only reason heâd heard it a lot growing up was because people caused his inconvenience, and not because theyâd hurt his feelings. He doesnât know what thatâs like - forgiving and wanting to be forgiven. Theyâre foreign to him, but somehow those are what youâre making him want to know.Â
âIââ
âCan we move on, Mr. Jeon?â You interrupt him. âYou have a scheduled check-in with your father before the 8:30 team meeting.â
âRight, thatâs today,â Jungkook says, letting go of any form of apology he could muster.Â
He nods then stands up to head to his bathroom, and you follow shortly after to arrange his outfits for the week. You clean up in the kitchen after and wait for him to come out, with you reflexively walking up to him to fix his tie and make sure all the creases on his clothes are fixed.Â
Jungkook tries to remain still as you, like everyday, make sure he looks proper. It always took him a long time to get ready because he used to do all this on his own, but with you taking on the unofficial stylist role - which he admits you do a great job at - heâs relieved of that added stress of looking the part of a Vice President. It just also means that every morning, he has to look unaffected as you stand close to him like this, with you tightening his tie and your fingers grazing his clothed chest.
You smell like roses. It feels warm and nostalgic, like itâs familiar but also something new. Itâs refreshing on you, and it wafts through his nose and paralyzes him a little. He tries to hold his breath like always, only briefly glancing at your focused eyes as you make sure he looks impeccable.Â
Heâs caught off guard when you look up and meet his gaze. He doesnât react, but he does linger and surprisingly, so do you. He wants to apologize but he doesnât know how to. He just hopes you feel it somehow with how he looks at you; heâd like to think you do, as you gently bow and step back, taking your things to go down.Â
You go through his schedule while in the car, noting his dinner meetings and that the food tasting for next monthâs event with the art industry professionals that youâre both organizing has been moved to next week, freeing up his Thursday lunch hour.
âIâll schedule my visit at Taehyungâs tailor shop that day then,â Jungkook states. âIâll have a few suits done.â
âNoted, Mr. Jeon,â you reply, adjusting his calendar.Â
He doesnât say anything after. He takes his leather notebook and sketches like he often does, looking out his window only a few times as heâs engrossed in his drawings. Even with all that he is, you canât deny Jungkookâs talent. You only know he took an architecture course but you donât know if he actually practices it.Â
You start to wonder if Jungkook wanted that to be his profession but couldnât pursue it because heâs expected to manage the company with his cousin. You wonder if heâd always been into drawing and the arts, if it was an outlet the way reading picture books was for you; youâd wanted to become an illustrator but your mother couldnât afford drawing classes and that profession just didnât seem like it could sustain you financially. You wonder what Jungkook thinks when he sketches and what his subjects are, if he feels at peace the way he looks, if he hopes he could just spend his days doing this.Â
The seeming warmth in your thoughts about this man concerns you, prompting you to turn away from his direction and stare out the window instead. You remind yourself that this is the same person whoâd made the past two weeks miserable for you; he doesnât deserve warmth from you in any form, even if, for the briefest moment earlier after you fixed his tie, thatâs what you gave him. You learned that heâs quite mesmerizing when he doesnât talk or when he isnât scowling. You also learned youâre quite quick to fall into it when you let your guard down a little.Â
You groan internally. Thereâs a lot you donât know about him and you donât really care to know more; what you know is enough to put you off anyway. And so these moments of weakness - of curiosity, of concern -Â should not happen again.Â
Except, they do happen, over an hour later after Jungkook returns to his room from his check-in with his father. He sits on his chair, his eyes closed and jaws clenched, unmoving for a good few minutes, and you watch from your seat, wondering what transpired thatâs got him this disturbed.Â
It happens again an hour later. He moved the team meeting to the afternoon and heâs now furiously typing on his desktop, making calls, sketching, making calls again, then sitting still with his eyes closed once more. Hoseok walks in, merely nodding at you, then enters the room and speaks with the younger man. Jungkook closes the blinds, and youâre left to wonder whatâs going on behind closed doors and whatâs got him angry and frustrated.
You take your chance at finding out when Hoseok emerges, asking him if everythingâs okay, if Jungkook is okay.
âYeah, heâs fine,â Hoseok says, a half smile on display, something youâre only a tad familiar with. âHeâll manage.â
He rushes out, saying he has a meeting to get to, and you nod, glancing at the closed door and blocked window, wondering what troubles Jungkook is handling on his own. If itâs personal, itâs clearly not your business. But if itâs work-related, then it is. Youâre there to make things easier for him, after all. You also donât want to be surprised and be bombarded by new tasks just in case, so itâs better to know if thereâs something you can help in resolving things as well.
You walk in his room then place the ginger lemon tea on his desk, a common home remedy for hangovers, just in case last nightâs events are still affecting him. You inform him that youâve sent the reports already for his sign-off, and he responds that heâll get to them tomorrow.
Glancing at his drink, he halts his typing to look at you.Â
âDo I look hungover to you?â He asks pointedly.
Itâs clearly not what you meant, but you suppose the insinuation isnât what he needs right now. You want to be swallowed by the ground. He was already calm towards you, civil even, and now thereâs another reason for him to be upset at you. You wanted to avoid any possibility of that as much as possible, and now youâre here, at the verge of being told off again, just because your stupid brain decided to care the tiniest bit.
âI, uh, no, Mr. Jeon,â you stutter. âI justâŠâ
You donât have a reason. Clearly, you canât tell him that he hasnât seemed okay all morning - whatever that means - and that just in case itâs last nightâs alcohol affecting him, thereâs a cure. You stare back at him with worry, but instead of challenging or questioning you, he just sits back with his eyes closed again and dismisses you.Â
âYou may leave,â he instructs.Â
âWhat about lunch, sir?â You ask.Â
Youâd never cared before, why the change now?Â
âIâm fine,â he responds. âCall me when the meetingâs about to start.â
Your stubborn self takes the box of biscuits from the coffee table and places it in front of him. Youâre pushing it, you think, but thereâs a meeting heâll be leading and he canât be unfocused; when he is, itâs all the worse for you.Â
He doesnât react and you walk out. When you enter an hour later to call him, you spot the empty cup and the crumbs on the saucer, and you canât help the tiny smile that you make internally.
Itâs short-lived though, as that whole afternoon, he acts unusually - he barely makes comments at updates, he doesnât make eye contact, and doesnât ask further questions. He just nods when you say youâre heading out at 6PM, giving you no added tasks to keep you from leaving.
You enter his penthouse the next morning to the banging of leather hitting leather, prompting you to jerk from the loud sounds. Heâs grunting and panting heavily, and you just know that whatever it was that transpired yesterday, heâs releasing all his emotions right now, through this.Â
He exits the gym and walks to the counter where you are, finishing the water you laid for him in three gulps.Â
âDo you need that tended to?â You ask.Â
He looks surprised. You gesture towards his hands and he looks at his bruised knuckles; he really let it all out this morning, it seems.Â
âIâm fine,â he shrugs.Â
You didnât think those two words from him would ever make you feel discouraged, but one thing youâve come to learn about Jungkook is that he easily expresses his anger and frustration towards other people. Itâs when he keeps things in that they seem more serious, and you wonder what words he heard yesterday that might have made him this closed off, this quiet, this much more distant.
But fortunately, your feeling of worry fades with each day that passes, as he slowly returns to his normal self after - the focus, the perpetually serious look, the attention to detail, the sketching on his notebook. Perhaps Jungkook just needed a particular kind of release and heâs maybe handling things better now.Â
For his sake and yours, you wish the issue has been resolved, otherwise another blow up might happen and that wouldnât be good for your newfound dynamic thatâs a lot more civil than anything.Â
Itâs Thursday when you get a call at 5 in the morning, just as youâve woken up to get ready for work, and Mr. Riâs voice greets you on the other end.
âHi, ___. How are you this morning?â
âHi, Mr. Ri,â you yawn, curious as to why heâs checking up on you this early. âIs everything okay?â
âYes,â he hums. âI was instructed by Mr. Jeon to pick you up today.â
âWhy would CEO Jeon ask that?â You wonder, as you sleepily walk to the bathroom to wash up.
âHe didnât. Jungkook did.â
You stop on your tracks. You donât recall being informed about this, nor do you know of any particular reason why you should be at his place so soon.
âOh, uhm, okay. I should be ready inââ
âIâll be there in about 50 minutes,â Mr. Ri interjects. âSleep in a bit more and have some breakfast. Iâll see you shortly.â
You try not to think about what prompted Jungkook to have you picked up, so you focus on getting ready and then whipping yourself some fried rice using the leftover seafood from last night. You wonât lie, it tastes delicious. It might be that you just havenât had proper weekday breakfast in a while, but it could also be that youâre energized enough and not pressed for time that youâre able to make this as good as it is.Â
You decide to bring some to Jungkookâs place just in case you get there late. Sure, Mr. Ri will be driving you, but you donât know how the traffic is at this time, and this change in schedule is somewhat making you anxious. But then again, thereâs always bread or cereal for him to eat; you just think that a little act of thanks wouldnât be so bad.
Mr. Ri arrives exactly 50 minutes later and he assures you that heâll get you to the penthouse in half an hour. You trust him of course; heâs been with the Jeons for decades and he knows these streets like the back of his hand. Seated in the passenger seat, you try to figure out what about today has got your boss a little kinder than usual.Â
âI arrived five minutes late yesterday,â you wonder out loud. âIs that why? He has a meeting with a local artist in the morning and he doesnât want me to be late. That should be it. Ugh, stupid,â you groan. âI shouldâve taken the first bus I saw, but it was so full andââ
â___,â Mr. Ri stops you. âFive minutes isnât much. Plus, you always arrive 10 minutes before 6:30 and then just wait at the lobby. I donât know why you do, you could always just go up to the penthouse when you get there, you know?â
âNo, I donât. Mr. Jeon has boundaries and clearly likes keeping his distance. Going to his penthouse before Iâm supposed to be there feels like Iâm intruding,â you argue.
âYouâre literally his assistant, and you go to his bedroom and his closet, fix his things, prepare his meals⊠thereâs no intrusion happening,â Mr. Ri counters. âI know the man. Heâll probably just look at you curiously then go about his routine.â
âWell, since you know him so well, then why did he have me picked up this morning?â
Thereâs a brief silence before the man next to you responds.
âHe did note that you were late for the first time, but that wasnât his issue,â Mr. Ri says, appeasing you before you react negatively and think that your tardiness was a big deal. âHe asked if I knew how you got to Hoseokâs place before and I said you would just take the bus; it was closer to your place so it was fine. They have someone to make his breakfast, too, so you didnât need to come early; plus, you only went every Monday.â
âWhat a change, huh?â You attempt to poke fun at yourself and the new arrangement youâre in.Â
Not that youâre complaining; you know of other executive assistants who do much more for their bosses and what you have with Jungkook isnât even that bad. But it is quite the shift compared to what you did for Hoseok. Youâve figured out your own routine, though. And the commute isnât always terrible, for as long as youâre not one of the unlucky ones, given the recent incidents.Â
âItâs quite the change. I donât think he realized that until yesterday. He also asked me if I know if you eat properly in the morning. Maybe he thinks you donât?â
âIâve skipped mealsâŠâ you trail. âAnd well, I told him that I just eat crackers on the bus. Maybe he thinks Iâm losing focus some days.â
âMaybe heâs just concerned.â
You snort at the absurdity of the statement.Â
Mr. Ri sighs. He knows that Jungkook hasnât been his best self since he arrived in Seoul, and especially towards you. Heâs noticed the young manâs indifference, the occasional passive remark, the frustrated looks, and the tension every morning. Heâs noticed your faraway eyes, too, your constant anxiety, and unusual lack of confidence in your usual tasks, given that you look to be second-guessing everything you do.Â
As someone whoâs worked for the Jeons for so long and whoâd watched Jungkook grow up, heâs used to the detachment, but it was always because the young man often lived in his own head. There are always lots of thoughts and ideas, and lots of feelings he keeps bottled in.Â
But heâs also seen Jungkookâs kindness that he doesnât always show, the guilt and anger that restrain him from expressing his emotions, and the care that he seems to put a brake on when he shows too much of it to someone, and so it isnât much of a surprise to him to him when the young man gave this specific instruction to pick you up, not just today but everyday moving forward.
âThe news on the radio reported on the robberies and complaints of sexual harassment against female commuters last night,â Mr. Ri continues. âThey attack at any hour now. Iâm sure thatâs why. He wants me to drive you home everyday, too.â
âMr. Ri, thatâs too much,â you protest. âThatâs not part of my contract and it isnât his responsibility.â
âMaybe, precisely why I think heâs concerned. It isnât about making sure youâre not late to work or anything. Heâs worried that something might happen to you. And I agree. It isnât safe, ___.â
âItâs not safe for me anywhere. I just⊠itâs too much,â you sigh. âI donât need this kind of service. Iâm not entitled to it.â
âHeâll insist though. Will you argue with him over your own security? I mean, itâs either this or heâll pay for your driving lessons and then request for a car for you to use.â
You sigh, knowing he has a point. You donât think you deserve it but you also canât deny that the concern makes you feel a certain kind of way for him; gratitude, for one, and something else you canât exactly name.Â
âOkay,â you say softly.Â
âGood. Itâs about time he makes it up to you,â he chuckles. âBoyâs been a brat these past weeks. I wanted to just knock some sense into him.â
âHmm, not like I expected any less,â you huff. âHe just looked grumpy or disinterested during the times Iâve seen him before. Unhappy people like that arenât always the kindest. Has he always been that way?â
âI wouldnât say he has. I mean, he just wasnât joyful or expressive, not like his brother. Jungkook liked to keep to himself; Hoseok often tried to push him out of his comfort zone but the boy wouldnât really budge. I think as he grew up, that just amplified. People who prefer being alone have their reasons, donât they?â
They do. You know this just like anyone, perhaps as much as Jungkook. Itâs comfortable being alone; thereâs no one to hurt you and no one you could hurt. You wonder if his reason is the same, and if, like you, he feels the loneliness creep in every once in a while.Â
You nod in silence and the conversation doesnât continue until you arrive at Jungkookâs building. You have five minutes to get to his unit and you get there in three. When you enter, you hear grunting from the gym, and itâs shortly after when he exits and drinks the glass of water on the counter.
âWhatâs that?â He gestures at the plastic container next to you.
âItâs fried rice. I made it this morning because I had time to eat breakfast at home,â you say, softly smiling and then bowing at him to show your gratitude. Whatever his reason is, the act was appreciated.Â
âAnd youâre gonna eat again?â
âI was actuallyââ
You stop midway. You actually meant to serve it to him in case you arrived late, which you realize is pretty ridiculous.Â
âActually what?â He asks, leaning forward on the counter now, with his bare arms from his tank top blinding you a little.Â
âI didnât know what time I was gonna get here so I thought as a last resort, Iâll bring this to heat up and serve to you but then I realized that thatâs pretty stupid because itâs leftovers and definitely not high-quality ingredients and itâs⊠just silly. Plus, you donât eat rice in the morning.â
With his scrunched brows, he asks, âis it good?â
âItâs pretty delicious,â you say. âI mean, I liked it. I donât know how sophisticated your palate is⊠Mr. Jeon.â
You smack yourself internally for rambling.Â
âWhatâs that got to do with anything? If itâs good, then itâs good.â
âIâm an ordinary person, Mr. Jeon. I have normal peopleâs taste buds.â
âSo that makes me, what? Abnormal?â
âNo⊠Iââ you unknowingly pout. You shouldnât have brought this in the first place.Â
Jungkook is disarmed again at the sight of your pouty face. If this is your way of thanking him for this morning, heâll take it. The fact that youâd brought something you cooked from your own place to feed to him is already enough to make him feel hazy, which is why he needs to get away from you right away.
âJust heat it up. Iâll have that. Thereâs not much food in here anyway,â he says, walking away, leaving you no room to resist.
You do as youâre told, not wanting to overthink and change anything. You do check the cupboard and see a stashed pantry, and you wonder if heâd wanted to find something to criticize about your cooking, too.Â
He walks in and lets you fix his tie again, and for some reason, you feel more nervous than you normally do today. You sit and busy yourself with responding to emails as he eats his breakfast, careful not to look at him while he does.
âItâs good, a little better than how I do mine,â he says, surprising you.
âYou cook?â You ask too quickly.
âOf course,â he frowns, looking a little offended. âI lived on my own for years. How do you think I survived?â
âHiring people to do it for you,â you shrug.Â
Peeking at him once again, you see that heâs almost finished with the dish, and you canât help the little smile on your face at the thought that he might actually enjoy it. Itâs just fried rice, but you let yourself feel the shallow happiness from this. Heâs at least not berating you or anything.
He finishes his meal as you go through yesterdayâs meetings. Thereâs not much about the Arts Center he says, just like yesterday and the day before, and you start to wonder if the issue with his father has anything to do with that.Â
You let it go, opting to just follow his pace and let him talk about it when heâs ready, if he ever will be.Â
The morning goes by smoothly. Jungkook meets with Yoongi in his office then reviews the reports youâd sent last Monday. He sends you an email, saying that theyâve been approved and for you to attach his signature for sign-off and dissemination, leaving you perplexed at the lack of any other comments again.Â
He goes for a quick lunch at the dining hall while you eat a sandwich at the pantry, and not long after, youâre back in the car to head to Jungkookâs appointment with his best friend.
Kim Taehyungâs tailor shop boasts of classic European design. Itâs elegant in all the ways that he is, as he stands by the desk in his working space, a smaller room on the mezzanine floor with an exquisite couch and displays of his work. Heâs donned in an orange suit that you think only he can pull off, while his brother, Seokjin, sits on a chair in an impeccable black 3-piece.Â
You know as much that Jungkook grew up with both men, but while the brothers are often a hot topic on the news because of their wealth, their successful businesses, and colorful dating lives, you now wonder how Jungkook managed to stay out of the spotlight despite being a lot of the things that they are.Â
You bow at them after Jungkook introduces you as his assistant, and youâre surprised when Seokjin reaches out his hand to shake yours, bowing as well and offering you a kind smile. Taehyung does the same, and you canât help but feel the warmth on your cheeks. Theyâre clearly incredibly handsome men with amazing styles, just like your boss, but theyâre obviously respectful and gentle, unlike him.Â
âNice to meet you, Ms. Cho,â Taehyung smiles. âSo, what events do I need to dress my best friend for?â
He looks warm, friendly, and you canât help but mirror his smile as he offers you a seat and some tea. You take out your calendar and enumerate at least three big events in the next months, which would require standout designs. Jungkook also wants four additional everyday classic suits, and Taehyung starts sketching on his pad as you speak.Â
âMake one for my event, too,â Seokjin says. âIâm launching my traditional alcohol brand in Singapore in September. Itâll be a big thing so Jungkook needs a fancy piece for that as well.â
âThat soon?â Jungkook asks.
âYeah, it got pushed early,â Seokjin replies.
Jungkook asks you to check his calendar for any activities in the Singapore office, and you state that thereâs nothing scheduled during that time.Â
âThereâs a landscape designer I want to meet while Iâm there. Schedule one with her later,â Jungkook instructs you, and you make a note to coordinate with Lucas, who will continue to serve as the assigned assistant for the Vice Presidentâs Southeast Asia trips.Â
Taehyung finishes the rough designs quickly, given that heâs already familiar with the style his client wants. Heâs done a lot of Jungkookâs suits, which you know from all the weeks of preparing his clothes, and you do admit that he looks best in these custom-made pieces.
As Taehyung takes Jungkookâs measurements - given that, as per his words, Jungkook has gotten wider since the last time - he asks if you have something to wear for those big events, too.Â
âUh, yes,â you say.Â
âAre they from company events from before?â Taehyung asks.
You nod shyly. Itâs not like youâre paid enough to afford a new one every time nor can you wear them anywhere else; there arenât exactly regular fancy dinners and social occasions you get invited to.
âHave new ones made, then,â Jungkook says, his back turned to you.
âUh, thereâs no need, Mr. Jeon. The gowns still look new and theyâre well-made,â you insist.
âStore-bought?â Taehyung asks, his eyebrow cocked.
âUh, yes, Mr. Kim.â
âNothing beats custom-designed ones though. And I must say, Iâm kinda good at them.â
âI, uh⊠itâs really not necessary,â you stutter, feeling a little too shy and definitely undeserving. Itâs Kim Taehyung; his name is the brand.
âI believe it is,â Jungkook says now, turning to you. âTheyâre big events and weâre organizing one with the arts professionals. Some dignitaries will be coming, too, including the culture minister. Iâd prefer if you looked the part of working for the Vice President, Ms. Cho. You represent me in that way.â
âI⊠uh, okay,â you sigh, knowing you donât seem to be in a position to turn him down.Â
âGreat. Start thinking of designs, then!â Taehyung beams.
Itâs some minutes later when Jungkookâs measurements have been taken and Taehyung calls for you. You sit on the chair facing his desk not far away while Jungkook and Seokjin talk about sports and this new club that opened in Gangnam.Â
Seated in front of you, Taehyung takes his sketch pad and starts asking what design you want.
âSomething simple and comfortable since Iâll be moving around,â you say softly. âAnd nothing form-fitting or revealing since, uhâŠâ
âI understand,â Taehyung smiles, revealing a gentle side of him that the paparazzi and tabloids clearly donât capture.Â
He starts drawing your silhouette, glancing at you then at Jungkook before speaking.
âSo, heâs been in this role for a few weeks now. Has he been nice?â
âDefine ânice,ââ you respond, earning you a chuckle.Â
âI guess thatâs my answer, then.â
âI donât mean to say he isnât,â you backtrack. âMr. Jeon just has a different leadership style as Mr. Jungâs, thatâs all.â
âI suppose thatâs quite a difficult adjustment for you, huh?â
You purse your lips and Taehyung laughs, the soft way he does it is something new and refreshing to you. You didnât realize how deprived you are of such gentleness, of such acts or sights as simple as a smile. Hoseok is no longer your source. Your team hasnât been as jolly these past weeks. The only other person you talk to regularly at work is Yoongi, and while heâs definitely been smiling more, itâs a lot more teasing than it is comforting. Youâve been missing your best friends more because of that, you think - Soominâs smile is blinding, Jiminâs is sweet and infectious. Perhaps itâs why you havenât been smiling much yourself.Â
âI wonât tell, donât worry,â Taehyung assures you. âI just wanted to check on him. This whole move has been tough but he doesnât say much. Iâm guessing he doesnât tell you, either, but heâll definitely show it.â
âHe has, actually,â you say softly, knowing now that even with his closest friends, Jungkook tends to keep things to himself. âHeâs pretty stressed most days, always working and stuff. Heâs been a little hard on me but I guess thatâs a natural reaction for some.â
âThatâs not an excuse though.â
âIt isnât, but⊠itâs okay. I can handle it.â
Itâs not as much of a lie anymore as it used to be. Jungkook hasnât been overly critical about things as he was just last week. He rarely makes comments on your minutes now, doesnât correct the reports you reviewed, doesnât talk over you or doesnât yell. Thereâs been a change, definitely, and you wonder what triggered it.Â
âHe doesnât really smile, does he?â You ask, your curiosity getting the better of you.
Taehyungâs laughter is one of disbelief and pure amusement, catching the attention of the other two men but he waves them off.Â
âHe still does, just not as much,â he responds. âIt kinda stopped after the breakup with Chaerin but I guess thatâs what heartbreak does, right?â
âI⊠wouldnât know. Iâve never experienced it,â you shrug.
âLucky,â he hums. âI donât wish it on anyone.â
You glance at Jungkook, briefly letting yourself imagine a version of him thatâs a lot more carefree, relaxed, perhaps happy. Maybe itâs the loneliness and that youâd understand; that, youâve experienced. Itâs both liberating and isolating. You wonder if thatâs how heâs been feeling all these years since then.
âIâm done,â Taehyung announces, showing you three designs that are exactly what you asked for.Â
âThese look nice. And way out of my price range,â you laugh.
âPerks of having a rich boss,â he winks. âI donât want you to worry about anything, okay? Youâre my client and I want you to wear these with confidence. Now, if youâre okay with all this, Iâll get one of my female assistants to get your measurements.â
You nod in response. Thereâs absolutely nothing you would change about those designs. And if youâre being honest, you now canât wait for those events just so you could wear them. Hoseok had obviously paid for the gowns you had to wear for the big events, but those were store-bought that A-yeong helped you choose. Some were your own purchases, but this is the first time that youâre getting measured for custom-made clothing designed by Kim Taehyung.Â
You walk towards the fitting room at the corner where one of his staff meets you. Sheâs meticulous, which is why it takes longer than usual just to get this done. With her silence, however, youâre able to hear the conversation happening outside, with the brothers now asking Jungkook about the same thing youâve been wondering about.
âBy the way, what was up with you last Monday?â Seokjin asks. âI thought that was gonna be night 4 of you going home with a new woman. But you passed out before you could even ask. And that was just 9PM.â
âFour nights isnât much, though,â Taehyung laughs. âDidnât he do that with seven women on seven straight nights when he was in Singapore? That was wild. Was it that stressful there? Or were there just so many to choose from?â
âShut up. Iâm not proud of that,â Jungkook groans. âAnd that was one time. It never happened again.â
âIt never happened seven times straight again,â Seokjin corrects. âYou were really living your life out there, huh? Stressful job, a rooftop bar in your apartment building, chauffeur and butler services 24/7, women from all over the world begging to sleep with youâŠâ
âItâs called the post-break up stage,â Taehyung says.Â
âFor six years?!â Seokjin asks incredulously. âItâs either you loved Chaerin that much, you blamed yourself too much, or you just really sucked at moving on.â
âI vote all of the above,â Taehyung states.
âMe, too,â Seokjin claims.
âFuck you both,â Jungkook groans again.Â
âI think he also just missed us too much,â Seokjin adds. âLucas was cleaning up your messes every time, not snapping you out of it. But weâre here now so I guess three straight nights is as far as youâll go.â
âTwo, if you stopped me last Sunday,â Jungkook points out. âYou both always insisted that Sundays are a no-no. You were too busy with your own women.â
âMay we remind you that you didnât even make it to our table. You stepped foot in the bar then left five minutes later,â Taehyung says. âBut really, what was it about Monday? You seemed angrier than usual.â
âJust⊠a bunch of things my father said,â Jungkook huffs.
âDid he tell you off again?â
âNot really, surprisingly. He just delivered a message basically, about what the board members were saying about me and my project. Bullshit stuff, you know? I just wanted to forget about it.â
âDid you?â
âSorta,â Jungkook says. âI still donât want to talk about it.â
âBut itâs still happening, right?â Taehyung asks worriedly. âThe Arts Center, I mean. Youâve been wanting to work on that since the building was abandoned five years ago.â
âI donât know,â Jungkook responds. âI guess. We already put money into it. Iâll just have to make concessions if my father doesnât side with me on this. I hate to think heâs buying into what those old folks are saying.â
âMs. Cho, weâre all done,â the staff member tells you, muffling the conversation outside that you couldnât help but hear.Â
It felt quite intrusive, hearing how life was like for Jungkook in Singapore, but then again, his personal life seemed to be the topic in the office comfort rooms, and you donât know how to feel about getting confirmation about those rumors. It felt sad more than anything though, living that kind of life away from friends and family. You wouldnât know what moving on from a breakup feels like, but you suppose people grieve a lost love in their own ways; you canât blame them for how they choose to repair the parts of them that broke.Â
But the bit about his conversation with his father is what bothers you. Youâd hate to think that thereâs a possibility that Jungkookâs plans wonât be fully realized, and whatever the reasons for that are, you hope they didnât break his spirit too much. You know the plans now like the back of your hand and the more you learn, the more you believe in it. You hope Jungkook continues to believe in it, too.
You exit the fitting room, catching the end of a conversation where Seokjin suggests a wholesome weekend for the three men of just dinner and drinks. The two other men agree, and they all turn to you once you make your presence felt.
âAll good?â Taehyung asks you.
âYes,â you bow in thanks.Â
âGreat. The gowns will be ready at the same time as Jungkookâs suits will be. Iâll just let you guys know, okay?
âSure,â Jungkook says. âBut anyway, we have to get back to work. Thanks again.â
The brothers bid you and Jungkook goodbye, and you head back to the office with not much words said. Jungkook seems less frustrated, but the worry you feel suddenly returns. Itâs the thought that maybe he doesnât feel supported, that maybe what heâs doing isnât enough, and that more than that, it's him choosing to deal with all this on his own, not even looking to his friends to comfort him.
Jimin and Soomin meet you for lunch at a restaurant that Saturday afternoon. The drive from Busan took longer than expected, they said, but you say you donât mind. Theyâre visiting you like they always do every month, regardless of how busy they are back in their hometown, which was your home for a few years, too.
You were in the same class; your mom worked at the school, which was the only reason why you were able to attend a prestigious one in the first place. Even when you moved back to Daegu, you remained in touch with them. Despite the distance, none of you wanted to just let the friendship fade, and even when they had to stay back and you made a life out here in Seoul, they made sure to visit you as much as they could.
Theyâre why you were excited for the weekend to come and now, youâll be enjoying a hearty meal, getting your nails done after, lounging at your apartment, and then heading to a club for a night out, which you only do whenever theyâre around.Â
âSo, has the boss situation improved?â Soomin asks, her eyes soft and laced with worry âOr should I storm the jerkâs house and give him a piece of my mind?â
âIt has,â you chuckle. âSo no need to call him names or fight anyone. Iâm okay.â
âWell, you did call him a grumpy old grinch with nice hair the other week,â Jimin points out. âSo⊠did he get a haircut?â
âNo,â you laugh again. âAnd that was in the heat of the moment. I⊠I mean, heâs still grumpy but heâs not⊠as grumpy or unbearable. Heâs beenââ
âOh hun, please donât say heâs been kind and then give him a pass for how heâs been to you,â Soomin reprimands. âMean people donât just become nice all of a sudden. And if they do, thatâs a controlling tactic - they want you to think theyâre capable of change so youâll soften up to them and then give them a pass every time they do asshole-y things again.â
âYou watch too many shows,â you frown, although knowing her statement isnât wrong; itâs just not something you can relate with Jungkook.
Sure, he hasnât been the nicest, but he also hasnât been the meanest. Heâs just been⊠him, you suppose - a bit in the middle; frustrated at worst, quiet at best, stoic on most days. He does seem to live in his head a lot, and while you wonât go so far as characterizing him as kind, he definitely hasnât been insufferable these past few days.Â
âIâve just dealt with too many assholes, ___,â Soomin corrects. âTheyâre all the same. Men are shit.â
âExcept for Jimin,â you correct.
âExcept for Jimin,â she concurs.Â
âI accept the honor,â he bows. âBut seriously, ___. How has it been? You⊠you seemed really sad last week and I wouldâve driven here then if we didnât have that work emergency.â
âIâm okay, I mean it. Iâve experienced worse,â you try to assure them.
âYou do know that having experienced something worse doesnât mean itâs fine for you to experience something bad again, right?â Soomin points out.
âI know, but it also means that I know my threshold for bad behavior,â you say. âJungkook was in a lot of stress and I did mess up. But I think heâs making up for that.â
âBy apologizing, you mean?â Soomin cocks an eyebrow.
Your sigh tells her thatâs definitely not what Jungkook has done.Â
âWell, he approves my minutes and reviewed reports much quicker,â you reason. âAnd he doesnât comment as much. But actually, I think he just pities me. And thatâs worse.â
âWhy would he pity you?â She asks.
âI donât know. Maybe because I said that a tree fell on our roof and that mom got injured the weekend before my mishap,â you explain. âAnd then he found out how early I start my day just so I can get to him on time. Heâs made adjustments after those and I⊠I think heâs guilty or something. And heâs just not being his usual angry self around me to make it up to me.â
âSo in short, heâs still kind of an asshole,â Soomin says, prompting Jimin to snort and you to pout. âHe could always just apologize if heâs guilty and realized he should treat you better.â
âSome things arenât easy for other people to say, you know?â You say softly.Â
âThatâs not an excuse,â she points out.
âItâs an explanation,â you counter. âOr one of them, I guess. I donât know him well enough, but itâs better to think that heâs a decent person who just struggles with emotions than someone who willingly makes peopleâs lives difficult. I mean, thatâs easier to manage and accept.â
âIf that helps you deal and heâs indeed improving, then maybe I wonât have to storm his place then,â she smiles, taking your hand and kissing it as she likes to do.Â
She knows your habit of pressing your nails onto your skin, and she always said she likes to remind you that you deserve gentleness, too; sheâll give it if you canât give it to yourself.Â
The rest of the afternoon goes as you planned, with all the banter youâd expect from your best friends amid the pampering and then the chick flick in the background as you get ready in your tiny apartment.Â
You smile at your reflection in the mirror. The high-waist trousers and sleeveless top ensemble is a refreshing sight for you, as you only really dress up like this for a night out. Youâre in your usual pencil skirts and blouses otherwise, and in jeans and tops or oversized jumpers on a normal day.Â
Soominâs done your makeup and Jimin compliments you as he looks on, and soon enough, theyâre ready as well to head out.Â
âWhereâre we going?â You ask from the passenger seat as Jimin navigates the busy streets of Seoul on a Saturday night.Â
âSome new restaurant the guys discovered,â Soomin responds. âI think itâs not far from here.â
âOkay, good. Hajoonâs been texting, asking what time weâll get there,â you tell them.Â
âGeez, you were already with him last night. Tell him to be patient,â Jimin rolls his eyes.Â
Soomin laughs from the backseat as she teases that heâs just being jealous, to which he points out that he just hasnât seen you in a while so the man can wait. And you assure Jimin that youâd gladly skip a night with Hajoon to be with your best friends, no questions asked.Â
You get there eventually, and you immediately spot the group because of the laughter coming from their table. There are four men; the two women are Soominâs friends, which is how you got involved with Hajoon in the first place. You met some time last year and youâve been hanging out with him since then - among other things - and youâve been enjoying it, given the simplicity and lack of drama when heâs not being moody. Heâs a warm body who knows how to use it and youâre a good type of relief, as heâd said; thereâs really not much more you need as you just try to survive through life and make something out of yourself in however way you can.Â
Hajoon waves at you from his seat, gesturing to his left to say heâs saved that spot for you. You head there after greeting your other friends, with Jimin and Soomin following you.Â
Right as you sit down and greet the man next to you, youâre caught by surprise when he kisses your cheek and snakes his arm around your waist.Â
âHey, I missed you today,â Hajoon hums, smiling at you the way he did last night and this morning; it definitely wasnât this sweet when he left for a work trip last month. Â
âI⊠saw you today,â you frown, earning you a chuckle.Â
âI know; I was still thinking about you, though,â he says.Â
You give a smile - as genuine as you can make it - and then turn towards your friends to your left who are trying to hold in their laughter.Â
You order a beer after he offers you a glass of wine, and then go for the pork belly when he says the salmon here is good.Â
âJust craving for meat, thatâs all,â you tell him.Â
âIs there anything else you want? Just let me know, okay?â
You hum your yes and then turn back to your friends after Hajoon makes jokes with his.
âSince when was he this sweet to you?â Soomin whispers with wide, curious eyes.Â
âSince never,â you reply. âI mean, weâve never been affectionate outside of bedâŠâ
âIs anything else different?â Jimin wonders, careful not to bring attention to your conversation.
You look back at how things were before Hajoon left and how it was when he was away. Nothing seemed different. You hung out at his place before he flew out, then you messaged each other every now and then during the one month he was abroad. He was more interested to talk, but given the time difference and the pressure and stress youâve been under the past weeks, you didnât bother much, neither did he.Â
But you also think back to last night - how he picked you up from your apartment, which heâs never done before, and how he prepared a luxurious dinner. He made you breakfast this morning, too, whereas you both usually just sleep in in tangled limbs and then separate once you wake up.
âHe cooked me fancy stuff but I just thought he wanted to show off what he learned during his cooking masterclass,â you shrug. âAnd well⊠he seemed sweeter than normal.â
âMaybe he hooked up with someone while he was away and heâs guilty about it,â Jimin suggests.
âHe didnât say anything about it and he knows I wouldnât mind,â you say. âWeâre not exclusive, even if I donât hang out with other guys.â
âMaybe heâs over the fucking and wants to do the loving bit now,â Soomin offers. âI mean, he always seemed more into you than you were into him.â
âHeâs hot and decent when heâs in a good mood; thatâs all I need,â you admit.Â
âBut honestly, thatâs probably it,â Soomin continues. âI think heâs hinting that he wants to be more.â
âBut I donât want to,â you whine. âIâm not ready.â
âYouâre 30! When are you ever gonna be ready?â Soomin whisper-yells.
âNever!â You pout now. âI mean⊠Not with him.â
âWell, youâre gonna have to tell him soon, then,â Jimin sighs. âBefore it gets messy. And you hate messy.â
âWhat if men just donât have feelings?â Soomin wonders out loud. âThat way, you canât hurt them.â
âSo that way, they can hurt you?â Jimin points out. âNo. Iâm not letting any men hurt either one of you, okay? I love you both too much.â
âWe know,â you and Soomin say at the same time.Â
âBut I agree with Jimin, ___. Youâre gonna have to let that man next to you, whoâs thankfully deaf, go. And then just find another person who can give you what you need,â Soomin continues. âLike, uhâŠâÂ
She looks around the semi-packed restaurant to find some random man to just point to, her eyes widening in awe as she spots a table close by with the type of men she was just thinking about.Â
âLike them.âÂ
You laugh at her, not taking her seriously, but still, you look towards the direction of her cocked head, only to feel your throat dry up and your heartbeat speed up. Your eyes widen in reflex as they meet the piercing gaze of the man whoâd given you a headache for weeks. He also happens to look unfairly handsome in his white top and slicked back hair.Â
âShit, I would totally go for them,â Soomin adds, âand I only even like men a quarter of the time.â
Your best friends look at you as they wait for a response, only to see a nervous look on your face, as if youâre seeing a ghost or something, and the way you turn to them and stutter almost seems like you are.
From the other table, Jungkook pants quietly. You finally looked his way, and he didnât know what to expect your reaction to be - maybe a bit of shock, but definitely not this worried. Granted, youâre out with your friends at a restaurant that he and his friends frequent. Itâs not the type of place theyâd normally go for - this is a lot simpler, less private, and more accommodating than the exclusive restaurants and hotels they go to for dinners before heading to a club. But Jungkook loves their pork belly; he orders it every week, and tonight, he was craving for this specifically before going to a private party of one of Taehyungâs clients.Â
Jungkook had seen you when you sat down, and heâd been taken aback when the guy to your right immediately kissed your cheek; it seems heâs barely let go of your waist since then, too. Perhaps the man is your boyfriend - and Jungkook doesnât know what made him think you wouldnât have one - but it also seems that the one to your left is into you, too, at least based on how he smiles at you sweetly but rolls his eyes at the affectionate guy to your other side.Â
But other than the embarrassing obvious affection that both of them are directing at you, what made him lose his senses is how you look, and youâre even more beautiful than he imagined. Your hair is styled, your makeup is bolder than usual, and he wonât even start with how youâre dressed. Itâs a lot more skin than heâs used to - youâre out, after all, and if heâll go by what your companions are wearing, he supposes this is your stop before heading to some club to party, too. Whereas when youâre at work, you have the skirt and long-sleeved blouse ensemble that you wear everyday - still pretty, perhaps just a lot more reserved than what heâs seeing now.Â
He canât take his eyes off you, even as you entertain your suppose-boyfriend, even when you engage in hushed conversation with the man and woman to your left, and even when you stare back at him, the initial shock now wearing down to a look of curiosity. Perhaps youâre wondering why he keeps glancing at you, too.
âI told you heâs got it bad,â Taehyung laughs from the other side of the table.Â
Heâs noticed how his friend hasnât said much in the last 10 minutes, his gaze directed at the loud table close by. One glance and Taehyung knew why.Â
âWell, we told him,â Seokjin corrects. âHe only ever acts out when heâs threatened and heâs apparently threatened by his pretty assistant.â
âIâm not acting out,â Jungkook scowls, finally breaking the staring contest with you.
âYouâve never been this much of a jerk,â Seokjin says. âSo yes, youâre acting out.â
Jungkook ignores them, his eyes turning back to you, and finds you downing two shots of tequila consecutively, then using the beer as your chaser. His knuckles unconsciously clench when your suppose-boyfriend scoots closer, whispering something in your ear, his lips grazing your skin.Â
Jungkook exhales deeply, trying to get a grip of himself. Heâs acting foolishly. You obviously have a life outside of work, and it obviously includes going out for dinner and drinks with friends, having a boyfriend, and enjoying your youth the way he is. Thereâs a world outside of the routine youâve both created, of the silence you both share, and the time you spend together, unknowingly learning about each other without meaning to, without wanting to.
â___,â Soomin calls your name one more time.Â
âHuh?â You answer, finally tearing your eyes away from Jungkook, whoâd unfortunately captured your attention after you noticed he was there.Â
Youâve been used to his impeccable looks in his fancy suits; youâve even gotten used to his tank top and sweatpants post-workout outfits every morning, and while youâre still not immune to that look, his night out wear fit for a party leaves you more choked up than normal.Â
Maybe itâs the black jeans that you spot as he sits on the edge of the couch, or the white button-up top with the rolled sleeves up to his elbow, or his haircut that makes him look a little more mature. Maybe itâs all that and the way heâs gazing at you, the look in his eyes something you canât quite read. Perhaps like you, heâs surprised to see you here the way youâre shocked that heâd chosen this place to eat; itâs not exactly a fancy restaurant you know he likes eating at.Â
But heâs here, and so are you, and suddenly you feel exposed, as if the world outside of work that youâve kept to yourself is baring open to the man who stands at the center of what you do everyday. And youâre not sure how you feel about that.
âI was just saying⊠those men are pretty hot and they look interested, too,â Soomin wiggles her eyebrows. â I mean, they keep looking here.â
âOne of them is my boss,â you finally say. âGuy on the right. Thatâs⊠uh, thatâs Jungkook.â
âHoly fuck, hun,â Soomin chokes on her drink. âWhy did you leave out the part about your rude boss being a fucking god?â
âDoes it matter?â Jimin scowls. âHeâs still rude.â
âItâs different when the guyâs hot. It makes the anger more intense, you know?â Soomin says. âAttractive people elicit more passionate feelings sometimes.â
âExcuse me, thatâs not why I was angry,â you pout. âHe was really being unfair.â
âWell, he was. But I think my point also applies,â Soomin argues. âIâd just like to warn you that workplace hotties are a menace. Except for Yoongi - he was heaven sent. â
âAh, the man who couldâve been,â Jimin sighs. âWe at least knew he wouldnât hurt you. He didnât seem like the type.â
âYeah, this dude over here is hot but heâs mean. And thatâs your type,â Soomin smirks.
âCan we⊠not talk about this while heâs there? And while this other dude is right next to me?â You glare at your friends, especially at Soomin whose insinuation wasnât lost on you. âItâs so⊠weird.â
âHey, weâre here for you, okay?â Jimin softens as he looks at you. âJust let us know if one of them makes you feel uncomfortable. We can always just stay at your place and watch horror movies until morning and you and Soomin can lose your voices from screaming and then Iâll lose my hearing because of it.â
His words make you laugh. Thereâs a tenderness in Jimin that youâve never heard from anyone else before. Even when heâs telling you to stop yelling because you live for the thrill of a jumpscare, he says it so tenderly while laughing before pulling you both in his embrace.Â
âIâm okay. Iâm just⊠I donât know, probably just not used to seeing him somewhere that isnât the office or his home,â you reason. âAnd I feel a bit exposed, I guess. This is my world and his is⊠right there.â
You wrap your arms around your body subconsciously, realizing only youâd done it when Jimin asks if youâre cold, offering his jacket then taking it back because Hajoon might smack him or something.
You turn it down, knowing you actually feel hot more than anything. Youâre dressed up and definitely dressed in less, and somehow having Jungkook see you like this is oddly making you shy, perhaps a little too conscious.
âJust donât mind him,â Soomin advises. âItâs a restaurant. You obviously have a social life and he canât fault you for it, nor make you feel weird about it. Just focus on us, okay? Or on Hajoon, if thatâll happen.â
You follow her words and try to block out Jungkook. You do slightly nod at him, as well as at Taehyung and Seokjin just to acknowledge their presence, but you continue on with your meal, as the dishes arrive soon after.Â
The pork belly is a winner; youâll probably come back here for that alone. You do manage to dodge Hajoonâs attempts at feeding you, and your other friends engage with the three of you at the other end of the table. Itâs going well for the most part, until Hajoon starts to act a little wary, a little tense.
âHey,â he says, leaning close to you. âThe guy on the other table has been looking at you all night. Itâs kinda annoying.â
You glance at Jungkookâs table and he looks away when you do. âOh, just donât mind him,â you wave Hajoon off. âMaybe I remind him of someone or something.â
Thereâs a beat of silence, and you feel him tense even more, as you look up and see that heâs staring down the man on the other side. Hajoonâs had a bit to drink, and you know he tends to be cocky and irrational when he is. You groan once he shakes his head, saying heâs gonna give âthat strangerâ a piece of his mind because âhe canât be looking at my girl like that.â
The initial annoyance you feel turns into panic once he stands from his seat and storms to the other table. You follow him, with your friends just looking in worry. His friends are more encouraging of what he wants to do though.Â
âWhat the fuck is your problem staring at my girl like that?â Hajoon mumbles, acting all tough when heâs never threatened nor confronted anyone like this, even when heâs drunk.Â
Jungkook seems taken aback. Perhaps itâs the aggression he didnât expect, or maybe itâs finally having to acknowledge your presence in the restaurant, just in an unfortunate way.Â
âYour girl?â He scoffs.Â
The way the man is speaking to him is quite annoying, but he also knows your boyfriend is slightly drunk, so he dismisses him because Jungkook doesnât need this drama tonight, especially not in front of you.Â
Hajoon hates the way this stranger is looking at him and not taking him seriously. Heâd seen how he kept glancing at you, perhaps trying to get your attention away from him, and heâs really had enough. His words are slurring but this is the courage he needs to stand up for you. Youâve said before how unwanted attention makes you uncomfortable, and heâs gonna do something about it before the man gets to try anything with you.Â
âYeah, my girl. You seem to have a problem with that, donât you?â Hajoon grunts.Â
âMy only problem is you making a scene right now,â Jungkook shakes his head. âYouâre drunk and insecure and youâre embarrassing yourself in front of your girl.â
Not that you expected him to back off, but you didnât actually think that Jungkook would further press Hajoonâs buttons. The man is drunk and insecure and indeed embarrassing, but getting told so is a blow to the ego, especially in your presence. And so youâre not surprised that this just makes him angrier, and since youâve never dealt with this version of him before, you donât know how to pacify him.
You didnât actually think that Hajoon had a daring bone in his body despite being the way he is, but when he attempts to lunge at Jungkook, youâre left in disbelief. Youâre quick enough to pull Hajoon back before he lands a fist on the other manâs face, but heâd been worked up enough that he hits the glass of wine on the table, knocking it over and causing the drink to spill on Jungkookâs thin white top.Â
âMr. Jeon!â You shriek, pulling Hajoon back more forcefully before pushing him to the side so you can get ahead.Â
You take the napkin from the table and wipe Jungkookâs wet clothed torso, slowing down immediately as you realize what exactly it is youâre doing.Â
âI⊠uh,â you stutter, standing straight up and mirroring his questioning eyes.Â
It was a reflex for you, considering that you constantly make sure that heâs dressed impeccably.Â
âYou know him?!â Hajoon asks in disbelief, tugging on your hand now so youâll turn to him.
âHeâs my boss, you idiot!â smacking him on the chest as you glare at him. âAnd you just put my job in jeopardy and for what?â
âWell, what can he do?â Hajoon challenges. âGet you fired because of me? Does he own the company and shit?â
âMy father does,â Jungkook responds. âAnd Iâm the Vice President.â
Hajoon just rolls his eyes but you arenât amused. You glance at your table and gesture for one of his friends to take him, so one of them does. He stands up and pulls Hajoon away before he can do or say anything else.
âIâm so, so sorry, Mr. Jeon,â you say, your head bowed down as you apologize. âIâŠâÂ
The mess on his outfit is too much; the red has stained the white top and you know he feels sticky. He looks like he has somewhere to go after this and that makes it worse.
âIâ I can call Mr. Ri to get the car in here. I can get extra clothes from your travel bag,â you say, knowing that Jungkook always has a bag filled with clothes for emergency flights or check-ins.Â
You get your phone and make a call, telling Jungkook that his chauffeur will be here soon. You glance towards your friends who are still pacifying a drunk Hajoon, and you decide that they can handle all that. Right now, your priority is Jungkook.
You walk out towards the car thatâs on hazard mode outside the restaurant and pick out the top thatâs most appropriate for a night out, which happens to be a semi-loose black button-up. You head back inside, with Taehyung and Seokjin informing you that Jungkook has gone to the washroom, so you scurry towards there and knock at the door.
âMr. Jeon, I have your black long sleeves here,â you say as your knuckles tap on the wood. âJust tell meââÂ
Youâre interrupted by the sudden opening of the door, the sight of Jungkook in his jeans hanging by his waist and his unbuttoned white top catching you by surprise. His hairâs a bit damp and so is his bare torso, as you see that heâs tried to clean the wine off his body.Â
You catch yourself looking longer than you should, and you immediately look away as you hand him over what he needs.Â
âPlease let me know what else you need, sir,â you say, your eyes glued to the pretty wallpaper as you awkwardly stand outside the washroom.Â
âJungkook,â he says, earning him a curious look. âI mean, you donât need to be formal. Weâre not at work.â
You nod, realizing it does sound weird to address him as such in a casual setting.Â
âOkay⊠Jungkook,â you mumble, but even the way it rolls off your tongue is a bit odd. Youâre not used to it, and you hope you wonât ever be.Â
He closes the door and you take this time to calm yourself down. Youâve been so worried since you saw the glass tip over and mess up his outfit, and given his hot-headedness, youâre a little surprised that he didnât fight back. He does have a reputation to uphold but even then, stopping himself from punching Hajoon mustâve taken a lot.Â
The door opens and you sigh in relief; his outfit still looks good and heâs fully clothed, so thereâs no lingering looks this time anymore. You take the top that he gives you, and you take the chance to apologize.
âIâm so sorry,â you start. âI donât know why heâ I mean, heâs a bit drunk and heâs not usually like this.â
âYouâre not the one who should apologize so donât,â he responds.Â
âWell, he wonât apologize so I will.â
âYou didnât spill the drink and you didnât come at me. That was him,â he counters.Â
You just shrug, choosing to just concede. âIâll just return this to Mr. Ri.â
He calls your name before you turn around to leave.Â
âI didnât mean to cause a rift between you and your boyfriend,â he says, much too low and too gentle than youâre used to. âI hope I didnât ruin anything.â
âHeâs not my boyfriend,â you answer softly. âWe just, uh, we just hang out.â
You donât know why you feel the need to correct this misinformation. Maybe you just want to remind yourself because youâre not anyoneâs anything; hearing Hajoon claim you as yours made you want to just create that distance even more.
Jungkook wants to push it, to ask more. The man clearly acts like heâs your lover, given the physical affection and the way he tried to stand up for you. But thereâs a bit of shame as you state that you and the man âjust hang out,â and thereâs that wonder he feels - how can you be with someone without being with them, and if turning away people who are clearly into you is a tendency you have. Thereâs Min Yoongi, after all, whoâd liked you enough to remain as your friend when you needed one despite how he felt. Â
âOkay then,â Jungkook nods. âAnd your jobâs not in jeopardy. Donât take responsibility for a stupid act you didnât do.â
You bow in thanks, not much used to this side of him thatâs understanding and even calm. You suppose heâd seen you worry about your job, had seen you look embarrassed over something that you didnât even do, and perhaps he saw the discomfort over how Hajoon was talking about you.Â
Youâre about to walk out of the hallway when his call of your name stops you again, prompting you to turn around.
âAbout earlier⊠did I⊠did I make you feel uncomfortable?â He asks, the worry in his voice surprising you.Â
You debate over playing it down or telling the truth, but you go with the latter.Â
âA⊠a little,â you admit, looking away.Â
You hear him sigh, and thereâs a look of guilt in his eyes as you turn to him.Â
âIâm soââ
The footsteps of another diner in the hallway disrupts him, and you both make way so he can use the washroom, too. Perhaps you and Jungkook had taken so long, and you donât want others to conspire about whatâs happening, so you walk out and tell him again that youâll just return his clothing to Mr. Ri.Â
From your table, Soomin and Jimin watch the awkwardness of your parting of ways, with you scurrying out the door and Jungkook returning to his seat with a deep sigh before glaring at Hajoon.
âHe does sound and look like an asshole, aside from being hot,â Soomin observes. âThatâs totally ___âs type.â
âAre you saying she likes her boss?â Jimin asks incredulously.Â
âIâm just saying thatâs her type, not that she likes him,â Soomin corrects. âThereâs a difference. I still hate him for making things hard for her. I wish he would stop treating her like that. You and I know she wonât quit anytime soon. Especially because heâs a Jeon.â
âI know,â Jimin sighs. âI wish we could protect her from all this, too. But sheâs always done what she wanted to do. And we wait for her to tell us when things are hard; we just hold her hand whenever it is.â
âThatâs all we can do, I guess,â Soomin responds. âSometimes though I wish sheâd just⊠let someone else do more than just hold her hand, you know? It couldâve been Yoongi, or even Hajoon before all this mess. It couldâve been you.â
âYou know thatâll never happen,â Jimin laughs bitterly, with Soomin knowing exactly what he means. âYouâre only ever just her friend or her lover; you canât be both.â
Soomin hums in agreement, as sheâd seen you draw the line with the men youâd come across with. Youâd make it clear if friendship is all you want; youâd be straightforward if itâs just sex youâre seeking. You give either just your heart or your body and youâre always careful not to give both. There are parts of you that you donât want to share, that you donât want to expose to them; thereâs a kind of hurt that you donât want to experience.Â
They watch you walk back inside and then head to their table, where you sit next to a buzzed Hajoon who still has half a mind to look at you guiltily.Â
âI think Iâll head back home after this,â you tell the group. âKinda not in a partying mood anymore.â
Your other friends apologize on Hajoonâs behalf, proceeding to ask you if that was really your boss and if heâd threatened your job because of it, remarking that it would be such an asshole move of him to do that or to even get mad at you for something you didnât do.Â
You come to Jungkookâs defense; he didnât say anything to that effect at all. Perhaps youâd been the unfair one who assumed that he would - that heâd demand that you apologize, that heâd use this against you.Â
âHeâs⊠not like that,â you say, meaning it. You turn to your best friends who have disagreeing looks. âHe⊠he tried to apologize for making me feel uncomfortable,â you say softly. âNo oneâs ever done that before.â
âLook, ___,â Hajoon starts, but you cut him off.Â
âI donât really wanna talk about it,â you sigh. âIâll just pay my bill and head out.â
You, Soomin, and Jimin all pay accordingly and then leave the restaurant, with you turning to Jungkook and his friends, bowing as a form of goodbye.
âHey, why donât we buy desserts at a convenience store and have our own party at your place?â Jimin suggests as you all settle in his car.Â
âThat would be nice,â you hum. âThis outfit wouldnât be such a waste then.â
So thatâs what you do, as your best friends treat you to all the snacks you love - a usual occurrence, really, as they used to do that back in Busan to cheer you up during the days when you were feeling sad. Itâs one of the things that you allow them to spoil you with and they take advantage of that, as you go home with weeksâ worth of goods for you to enjoy.
You also picked up some drinks on the way, so you play some music and dance around with your wine glasses and take shots in between. Itâs too early to be drunk but 11PM might as well be 3AM. Youâre all seated snugly in your tiny couch as you watch some variety show on mute, laughing at the hosts' antics even if you canât hear anything.Â
âTonight wasnât so bad,â you huff, leaning on Soominâs shoulder as you doze off. âBoth of you are all I need. Thank you for never disappointing me.â
They know you donât always let yourself be this sentimental. They also know that when you do, all you want is for them to listen and to hold you. And thatâs what they do, as you eventually clean up and fall asleep on the mattress with them, the events from earlier slowly fading away.
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#jungkook fic#jungkook x you#jungkook x reader#jungkook fanfic#jungkook x oc#jungkook angst#jeon jungkook#bts jungkook#jungkook fanfiction#boss jungkook#jungkook series#jungkook fluff#jungkook smut
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Sunshine
Synopsis: You are the youngest and only daughter of the Leclerc family, and no matter how much he tries to hide it, Charles canât deny youâre his favorite
monegasque female leclerc reader x brother charles leclerc
A/N: letâs say that y/n was born in 2006, making her about 17 now, 15 years younnger younger than lorenzo, 9 years younger than charles, and 6 younger than arthur
. so
. pascale leclerc has always wanted a daughter
. a little girl she could love and spoil with all her heart
. donât get me wrong, she loves her sons with all of her being
. but iâd be lying if i said sheâs never wished for another girl in the house
. the rest of the leclercs know this
. so it wasnât a big suprise when she told everyone that she was pregnant in 2005
. and nearly cried of happiness when she learned she was carrying a baby girl
. now at first
. 8 year old charles leclerc didnât know how he felt about this
. because he already has 5 year old arthur following him around everywhere
. what would it be like with another sibling in the house?
. so he wasnât entirely thrilled at first
. but the second pascale and herve brought you home from the hospital a few months later
. he knew heâd love you no matter what
. his friends at school constantly talk about how annoying their baby sisters are
. but charles is always more endeared with you rather than annoyed
. he would play and watch kid shows with you for days on end if thatâs what you wanted
. would be lying if he said heâs never played pretend with you
. repeatedly asked for pascale to allow you to come to his karting races
. something that didnât happen until you were 3
. shows you off to all of his friends at said races
. âyou see that baby over there with my maman? thatâs my sister, y/nâ
. âshe doesnât really know whatâs going on, but she always cheers for me anywayâ
. charles makes sure heâs there for every milestone in your life
. first day of school
. the first time you drove a kart
. when you learned how to ride a bike
. etcetera
. it does get harder as the years go on, with his karting career continuing and everything
. but your brother makes sure heâs there for you
. because no matter how busy he gets
. heâs never too occupied to see you discover yourself
. finding your own personality and hobbies
. interests and dislikes
. this has all happened by the time youâre 9 years old
. nearing the end of your childhood but still enjoying it nonethless
. pascale even lets you follow charles to formula 1 races, because she knows heâs really following jules bianchi
. your older brother loves when you come with him to races
. but he wishes more than anything your mother made you stay home with her instead of going to suzuka with him
. because he knows you love jules
. heâs like another brother to you
. heâs always the one to have you sitting on top of his shoulders, doing anything to help you see more than the world you were given (both literally and figuratively)
. jules was the one who gave you his kart to practice with
. the one that taught you everything you know about cars
. the one that taught you to always dream for more
. the one that taught you what grief felt like
. charles remembers the moment it happened, the crash, the noise, the shock
. the way you looked up at him, your 9 year old self not old enough to realize what just happened
. âcharlie, what happened? whereâs jules?â
. he remembers how much you cried in the hospital, looking way too young to be sitting in those waiting room chairs and losing one of the people you loved the most
. he remembers hearing you sob in your room when you got home, how helpless he felt that he couldnât do anything to stop his own emotions, nonetheless his baby sistersâ
. he remembers how instead of driving the kart jules left you, most of the time you just sat in front of it, staring at it, wishing jules would come outside like he always would, and persuade pascale to let you two drive around for just a few more hours
. arthur was the one who looked out for you in these times, because charles was too busy either being looked after by lorenzo, or trying to drive his own feelings away in formula championships
. 2015 was a sorrowful year in the leclerc household
. so it makes sense that charles is happy when you start to show some progress in late 2016
. when you start to drive your kart again, improved by the JB17 stickers you start to put everywhere
. you start enjoying school again, hanging out with your friends and playing outside
. it almost gives him hope
. almost
. because by 2017, charles is nervous
. because herve is getting worse
. and charles knows his litter sister, youâre not stupid
. you can tell that your father is sick, and heâs not going to be get better
. he tries to subtly encourage you to spend more time with him
. makes sure you tell him all your stories from school, tell him what you want to be when youâre older and what you want to do
. soon enough though, you canât do these things because your father was emitted into the hospital
. charles is nearly twenty now, heâs old enough for his mother to give him the truth about these sorts of things
. but still not old enough to tell his eleven year old sister the truth
. the whole family is there with herve in the hospital in june 2017
. none of them are ready to lose another one of their own again
. youâre sobbing, arthurâs arms wrapped around you and hand pushing your head into his neck because he know you shouldnât have to see this
. lorenzo is the only thing keeping both his mother and first younger brother standing, all while trying to keep his own tears from blurring his vision
. this time, you donât let anybody help you
. you never leave your room, only to go to school and to eat
. you stopped karting completely, not wanting to unless your father was standing on the front porch, cheering you on and giving advice from where he stood
. you donât come to either arthurâs or charlesâ races, not the one charles wins after herve dies, not the ones he continues to win after that
. the family almost forgets what your smile looks like, they only remember the faint sound of your cries at night
. charles beats himself up over it, feels guilty and helpless
. he couldnât stop jules from crashing, couldnât stop his father from getting sick, and canât even protect his younger sister from losing herself
. he tries his hardest to be there for you, to hug you, tell you he loves you, and that heâs always there if you want to talk
. he waits as long as it takes for you to open up to him
. it comes eventually, the day you knock on his bedroom door and let yourself talk and cry in his arms
. it takes much longer for you to co-exist with your grief this time
. but charles is there for every step of the way
. you go to his first formula 1 race with him in 2018, cheer him on from the sauber garage with lorenzo and pascale no matter what position he comes in
. you hang out with arthur while heâs racing in formula e and formula 4, cheer for him just as loudly, if not louder than you would for charles
. youâre 12 by the time 2018 ends, but feel much older than you actually are
. this is the point where you and charles bond on a deeper level
. because whereas the rest of the world just sees you as a tweleve-year-old girl
. charles see you as a twelve-year-old girl whoâs been through more than she shouldâve, and now feels the emotions to match
. so as time continues to pass, you guys talk about the real stuff in your lives
. he talks about joining ferrari and what it feels like to do what jules had always wanted to
. what it felt like lying to your father about the ferrari contract and how he wonders what herve thinks about it now
. you talk about what it feels like going through life without a father
. what it feels like fearing for your brothersâ lives every time they get into their cars
. he tries to help you get over this fear by bringing you to the paddock with him
. which includes becoming friends with andrea after all the hours you two spend side by side in the ferrari garage
. meeting sebastian who instantly becomes a mentor to you
. youâve known pierre for longer than you can remember, so you hang out in his team garage sometimes
. your brother tries to keep an eye on you while your in the paddock, but as you get older, the more freedom you have
. by the time youâre 15 in 2021, you roam around the paddock on your own free will
. with carlos joining ferrari, you hang out with his younger sister ana, who leads you on all sorts of adventures in whatever city you two are in that weekend
. meeting all sorts of celebrities while youâre walking down the pit lane on sundays
. spending time in the aston martin hospitality because youâre still close with seb
. passing time with lewis in the mercedes garage, he sheds some of his wisdom on you, you tell him all the drama in your life
. bothering pierre while simultaneously befriending yuki in the alpha tauri garage
. and of course, hanging out with charles in the rare moments when you both have nothing do to
. these are the antics that carry on throughout your late teenage years
. so by the time the end of 2023 rolls around, youâre close to graduating school and moving on to whatever you wish to pursue
. itâs in those moments, the ones where youâre talking about college and moving away and your career
. truly makes him realize that youâre growing up
. and youâre not the little girl that will always be there to cheer him on from the stands
. you assure him that you will though
. that wherever you end up, still in monaco or not
. youâll always be rooting for him
. and he knows heâll always be rooting for you too
. because youâre his little sister
. and he loves you more than you know
#reader insert#formula 1#f1 grid x reader#formula 1 driver imagines#platonic f1 grid#f1 2023 grid x y/n#f1 imagine#charles leclerc#older brother charles leclerc#sibling fic#leclerc!reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc x sister!reader
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guilty as sin àšà§
summary: teammate!reader and kate are urged to stop crushing on each other because it interferes with their gameplay, leading to tension
warnings: angst, fluff towards the end
a/n: based on the song guilty as sin by tswift! i donât listen to her so i hope i did this right lmfao
ever since coach bluder sat you down and chatted with you about kate, you hadnât been speaking to her very much. before the mandatory meeting with bluder, you and kate had undoubtedly been feverishly crushing on each other to the point of it interfering with how both girls played; in and out of practice. plays being disrupted, catching fouls, and missing shots had all been a result of being too focused on kate. she was the only girl on your mind, and you were dedicated to being near each other all the time. you were told to either get it together, or forget the idea of being romantically involved with her. it was obvious the connection was still there, but you both agreed with bluder and ended up not interacting as much besides being on the court.
one specific moment in the locker room confirmed your distance from kate. you had arrived late to practice and was already irritated, when kate came in for a bathroom break. just you two in the room, she tried to negotiate the separation.
âyou knowâŠâ she started out cautiously, âwe donât have to listen to coach bluder if we donât wan-â
âkate please just let it go,â you urged, as if bluder was listening. it was hard enough to say that, but kate persisted.
âiâm serious, i still really like you.â
she was making it harder and harder. you helplessly dropped your arms to your sides, uncomfortable with the confrontation, but wanted to make yourself clear.
âi still like you too. so much. i really wanted it to work but bluder and the other coaches are right. so are our teammates,â you began. a drawn out pause followed your words, and you continued.
âi mean, everyone has seen how this is just getting in the way of how we play, kate. we canât get anything done because weâre too focused on each other,â you said, exasperated and voice trembling with emotion. kate gazed at you with the same helplessness, but both of you knew it wasnât over.
this cage was once just fine
am i allowed to cry?
the forced distance apart only seemed to strengthen the feelings between you and kate. although you hadnât exactly been flirting anymore, it was like you were convinced everything she did was a sign towards you; and each word from her mouth a symbolic message. you would see the glimmer in kateâs eyes as they would linger on yours for an extra moment during team huddles, certain that she could read your thoughts. as much as you loved hearing her voice as team captain, it would frequently get drowned out by all the wild things you wanted with her.
i keep recalling things we never did
messy top lip kiss
at times it felt unfair; as you and kate never got the chance to advance to something more serious. all you experienced was touchiness and bold flirting with nothing more. you wanted so badly to be something more with her, do something more. but every time you stared at kate a little too long during practice, bluder saw right through both of you. petty little sidecourt lectures werenât your thing, but it wasnât like you could just give up on kate that easily.
several practices and games went by with no progress in advancing with kate. in fact, the sexual tension once so familiar turned to irritable tension. even through the passive aggressiveness and pointless bickering on the court, your desire for kate was growing unbearable. her scolding you became a new source of interest, almost trying to get her mad at you.
âyouâre acting like youâve never done this before,â kateâs stern voice called out to you. it was nearing the end of an exhaustive practice getting ready for the next dayâs game, and you were at the end of your wits.
unsure of how to reply, you stood there after messing up your defensive play, ball on your hip. you stared at her knowingly, but kate did not take your silence as an answer.
âcan you stop standing there and actually do something?â
âcan you actually act like a captain instead of just bossing me around,â you shot back coldly, maintaining eye contact.
kate paused and shifted in her stance. she took a moment to look away from you, either thinking or making sure nobodyâs near, and promptly returned her gaze. almost without missing a beat, kate lowered her voice.
âwhat if i wasnât talking about basketball.â
her unexpected question flustered you, making your eyebrows furrow and break the eye contact. it was embarrassing how quickly she made your heartbeat skyrocket. you knew it was exactly what you wanted her to say, but kept up with the act.
âkate, not now, not here.â
she scoffed and looked around once more before stepping even closer to you. she kept her head low along with her voice when talking to you, although she seemed to not care about keeping distance anymore. if coaches came around at any moment, you were sure she wouldnât budge.
âyou know you want to.â
why does it feel like a vow
weâll both uphold somehow
the look in your eyes changed from resentment to need. every time she cornered you like this, it was like you and her magically became the only two on the court. kate managed to move even closer to you, and your eyes were stuck on her. your mouth hung open as you trusted words would come out, but the illusion was quickly broken away when you felt a firm pat on your shoulder.
looking behind you, coach bluder was standing there expectantly, her eyes darting back and forth between you and kate. the look in her eyes was apparent, but she went easy on you.
âpractice is over, girls. go head in.â
you slowly began to step away from kate, your eyes still fixated on her before you turned around and picked up your pace. from behind you, you heard coach bluder order kate to stick around a bit longer for a talk with the other coaches. half of you was relieved to not walk in the locker room with her, but the other half wanted to.
when you joined your teammates in the locker room, their lively chatter seemed to dissipate as they saw you come in. they knew of your situation with kate and used to be supportive, but now backed off since the angst began. some were even convinced that kate was bullying you.
âyou really shouldnât let her talk to you like that,â jada encouraged.
already over what they had to say, you side eyed her and just tried to continue getting ready to go home.
âyouâre seriously just gonna let her be that way?â
âjada, i donât care. i just donât,â you practically snapped at her, âplus, you guys donât even know what she said to me.â
jada was taken aback at your sudden defensiveness.
âgirl the whole gym heard her yell at you,â jada pressed.
âshe wasnât yelling at me. you guys donât even know whatâs going on, just stay out of it please,â you said, turning away from her. the interaction alone made you replay the moment with kate a hundred times over again.
they donât know how youâve haunted me
so stunningly
after losing the next dayâs game at home, it was only a matter of time before you ran into kate again. you were truthfully waiting for it to happen, and the exact event did happen when walking out of the arena after the game. you were one of the only girls on the team to leave out the back door; a typically lonely walk to your car. kate knew this and took it to her advantage. so when you stepped into the cold night and saw her leaning against the wall, it didnât surprise you.
âdonât get mad at me yet,â kateâs said smoothly.
the look on her face and tone in her voice told you she was being genuine, and you felt no need to be tense. you unclenched your jaw and dropped your shoulders. in fact, kate seemed to be the nervous one this time.
âkate what are you doing out here, itâs freezing,â you questioned, wrapping your arms around yourself.
she stood up from against the wall and inched towards you, seeming to really think about her words before saying them.
âi know weâve been mean to each other lately and,â kate paused, maintaining eye contact to confirm your agreement, âand i think we both know itâs bullshit.â
her words were soft, but truthful and deliberate as they came out. it was like the fourth wall was broken with the acknowledgment of the act you two had been keeping up, and it was a relief to know she wanted it to end too. still, she was taking it a little too slow, and it only seemed to get colder outside.
âkate if thatâs what this is about-â you started to turn away, but kate promptly grabbed your wrist and faced you back to her. you realized she was being serious.
âplease, just hear me out. i want to make things right again,â kate begged, her hand still around your wrist.
you looked around the dark parking lot, remaining paranoid of anyone who might hear the interaction. the only lights illuminating your faces were high up on the arena walls, and no one else appeared to be in the area. looking back at kate, she was looking back intently, waiting for a response.
âkate... you were pretty mean to me,â you replied honestly, but still wanting to work things out. she blinked and took a deep breath, realizing it might not have been as easy as she thought.
âyouâre right,â she said nodding, âiâve been a fucking asshole to you. i yelled at you when i was supposed to help you, i embarrassed you, i...i have no excuse.â
âso what now...weâre just supposed to act like we didnât hate each other for weeks?â
between losing the game, being tired, and the coldness of the night, it was turning into a bit of an argument. you didnât want it to, but weeks of taking shots at each other wasnât easy to forget. kateâs mouth hung slightly open without words, and you could see her exasperated huffs into the air. she remained silent.
âseriously, i mean it never had to be like this,â you said, narrowing your eyes and moving your head away. without missing a beat, kate took her hand up to your cheek and moved your head back to her.
âjust look at me...â
her hand ever so slightly touched your face, almost hovering, as if the world would implode if she touched you fully. although you were being stubborn, her tone remained patient and calm. with her hand rested on your face and the other hand finding its way back to yours, it suddenly felt like nothing had ever changed. the way her hand perfectly cradled yours and gave it a gentle squeeze made you feel like you never fell out with her at all.
the gentle squeeze of your hand was thought to be permission, as kate lowered her hand down to your jaw and held your face closer to hers. you werenât sure there were any words needed, but you spoke anyway.
âkate, please,â you were now whispering, just inches away from her lips, and that was all it took.
you could feel the longing and anticipation in the kiss, the way kateâs lips pressed on yours so softly, yet biting down on your bottom lip. the kiss flowed back and forth, electrifying both of you in the way you needed it most. kate ran her hand down your neck and your arm, testing how you reacted to her touch. you needed more so desperately, cupping her face in your hands. it felt like hours had gone by after just several seconds, and you broke the kiss to take a breath.
these fatal fantasies
giving way to labored breath
kateâs forehead was pressed against yours as you caught your breath and began smiling. the intense kiss made you forget about the nightly cold, and instead gave way for warmth. kate kept her hands on your arms, giving them a gentle squeeze as if youâd disappear right then.
âwas that ok?â kate questioned.
you laughed at her sheepish question, nodding your head. âiâve been waiting for that forever, kate.â
taking all of me
weâve already done it in my head
both girls decided making out in the middle of the night outside your basketball arena wasnât very ideal. it was also decided you couldnât just part ways after exchanging such a telling kiss, and kate allowed you to follow her back to her apartment. there was no practice the next day, and neither of you were busy.
kateâs apartment was a cozy little place, with just enough room for the both of you. you imagined all the times you couldâve been in her apartment before, if you had just been able to work it out earlier. you collapsed on her bed and didnât even give any mind to getting unready. all you knew was that you were about to be lying in bed with your love, and there was an open day ahead of you.
once kate was done with her night routine, she joined you in bed. neither of you had the energy for anything more than a few short kisses peppered all over her face and head. being held by kate felt so right, and you were sure making up with her was the right decision. with your head rested on kateâs chest, she planted one last kiss to your head before whispering goodnight.
what if the way you hold me
is actually whatâs holy?
#kate martin#wnba#las vegas aces#wbb#iowa wbb#kate martin fic#kate martin fanfic#kate martin fluff#kate martin smut#kate martin x reader#Spotify
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Girl Crush - MYG
Part of my Milestone Drabble Request Game. Find the request here.
Read the follow-up drabble, Afterglow.
Pairing: Husband!Yoongi X Wife!Reader
Theme: Angst, Unrequited love au, arrange marriage au
Wordcount: 1.5k+
Summary: It was and is Min Yoongi, who you fell in love with over the course of charity galas, executive meetings, quarterly gatherings, parties and so on. And he never once looked in your direction. But then again, there are very few people Yoongi really looked at.
Based on Girl Crush by Harry Styles (Cover).
Warnings: unhappy marriage, unrequited love, yoongi loves someone else. this is very painful.
Minors are not allowed in this blog!!
A/N: I had this idea sitting on my head for a long time now. Thanks to @jimintaemin for requesting this and giving me a chance of writing this. This is very angsty just as you wanted. Hope you like this. Hit me back with your feedback!:)
âI've got a girl crush⊠Hate to admit it but Iâve got a heart rush⊠It ainât slowin' downâ
âI assume you already know that this is a marriage of convenience, a negotiation between two companies. And I hope you will not expect anything from me. As long as itâs about responsibilities, I am okay with those. But donât expect anything more.â Min Yoongi had said, cold and stoic, as if not conversing but stating some flat facts related to stock prices.Â
He was not wrong. Whatever he had said are indeed facts and there was nothing you didnât already know.
So you stood there, standing as still as a porcelain doll, ready to fall and break at any given moment.Â
âAnd just so you know⊠I have someone.â he finished, diverting his eyes from you even though he never really looked at you properly.Â
Although you were glad that he didnât. You were more than happy that he didnât witness tears rolling down your face, gathering below your chin and dropping down at the immaculate fabric of your wedding gown.Â
Do tears leave stains? You hoped that was not the case.Â
Itâs not that you pictured a fairytale married life for you. You know arranged marriages come with more cons than pros. You knew you would have to pay the price.. but at the same time you had no choice. You were even more reluctant to do anything because it was him.Â
It was and is Min Yoongi, who you fell in love with over the course of charity galas, executive meetings, quarterly gatherings, parties and so on. And he never once looked in your direction. But then again, there are very few people Yoongi really looked at.Â
It was foolish for you to expect a man of his stature would not have someone to love, to be loved by. And it was even more foolish for you to think, you can be his wife, a real one.. and lead a life with him.Â
However, now you know itâs impossible. And the realization made you feel helpless, caged and broken.Â
âI wonât expect anything, I promise, but in return⊠Can we at least be friends? It will make things easy for both of us.â youâd uttered upon managing your voice and emotions.Â
Only then he looked at you, like really looking at you with a small smile playing on his lips, heâd said âsure.â Â
That was the moment you realized you had a girl crush. And it was the woman who managed to make Yoongi, your husband, fall in love.Â
âI got it real bad.. Want everything she has That smile and that midnight laugh.. She's giving you now.âÂ
You thought, you would be angry. You thought every possible darkness would cover your senses, when youâd meet her for the first time.Â
But wrong⊠you were.Â
You had so many prejudices about this woman and you hated her with every drop of blood your body owns but all of it evaporated in thin air when she smiled at you standing right at your and yoongiâs door.Â
She is beautiful, she is kind, she is loveable⊠and maybe everything else you canât ever be.Â
âThank you so much, Y/N. I never thought I was going to see Yoongi ever again.â sheâd murmured as she stood close to you in the kitchen, preparing dinner for you three.Â
You had stared into her eyes then.. Trying to find mockery and a hint of brazen victory telling you, âyouâre only his paper wife. I own his heart.âÂ
But again.. Again you were disappointed.Â
In her eyes, there was no mockery, no pretense, no dishonesty.. Rather only understanding and kindness. Only then you understood why Yoongi loves her so much.Â
Why will it never be you and always be her. Â
That night as you stood at the balcony, enjoying the stinging sensation cold wind brought to you, you heard them laughing.
It was the first time you heard Min Yoongi laughing. Even though faint and muffled, you could still sense his happiness through the sound.Â
Min Yoongi was finally happy... for the first time since the wedding ceremony... and you were not the reason.Â
All of a sudden, you were jealous again, even though you were not sure if you had the right or not.Â
âI want to taste her lips⊠Yeah, 'cause they taste like you I want to drown myself⊠In a bottle of her perfumeâ
You didnât know what you were thinking when you invited her to your and Yoongiâs honeymoon.Â
Both of your and his parents have been pestering you to set out for the trip. You have been using excessive workload as the excuse and you assumed Yoongi to do the same.
But a week ago, everything went south when Yoongi had a fight with his father. As a result, flights were booked, accommodations were chosen and you two were notified only two days prior.Â
That night, Yoongi didnât come back home. And when he did, he didnât speak a single word to you.Â
The visible frown on his forehead and the cold aura that oozed from him, made you want to make him smile, made you invite his lover to the trip secretly. Â
She was already there when you two reached and you will never forget Yoongiâs reaction when he realized what was happening.Â
The grumpy cold Yoongi broke into gummy smiles and giggles as soon as he saw her. They kissed right in front of your eyes and you silently cried.Â
Oh how you wish, you could taste him too. How you wish, he would hold you like that, caress you like that.Â
How you wish⊠he would love you like that.Â
âI want her long blond hair⊠I want her magic touch Yeah, 'cause maybe then⊠You'd want me just as muchâ
 âBabe, could you please turn your head a little? Yes.. yes just like that.âÂ
You watched the man as he clicked photos after photos of the woman he loves, seemingly trying to document her beauty for a long long time. Â
You watched her as her long blond hair flowed like a waterfall down her shoulder, wind ruffling it gently making her look even more beautiful.Â
âLetâs take a selfie, will you?â she shouted at him and he chuckled.Â
He buried his head in the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent, he said, âyou smell so nice.â
You wondered, what she smelled like, what perfume did she use to make Yoongi look this satisfied. You even considered asking her, purchasing a bottle and drowning yourself in one of those if that means Yoongi would love to smell you too, he would curl himself around you late at night. If that means Yoongi would want you, just as much.Â
âI don't get no sleep⊠I don't get no peace Thinking about her.. Under your bed sheetsâ
âWhere are you going?â confusion dripped through Yoongiâs voice. You stopped at your tracks and turned to face him.Â
âI will sleep in the other room. You two should have your space. I will send her in as soon as I am there.â you smiled at him, even though your heart bleed invisibly inside your chest at the thought of how they would spend the night together.Â
âNo, Y/N. We will adjust. You sleep here in the suite.â Yoongi commented, as firm as a verdict, as he stepped towards where you stood.Â
âBut Yoongi, I am alone, what would I do with all this space?â you sighed. You definitely didnât want to be left alone at the honeymoon suite, decorated for the newlyweds. You hate it. Totally loathe the decorations. Those giant red hearts had been mocking you since the moment you stepped there. You might tear those to pieces if you were left there alone, raising endless questions regarding such an act.Â
âYou have done enough. You have done much more than you needed to and I feel like Iâm taking advantage of your kindness. So, please⊠stay here. Enjoy the stay. We will manage.â giving you one of his tight lipped smiles, Yoongi slipped out of the room to spend the night with his lover.Â
That night when you slid inside the covers, which smelled awfully like him because he took a nap earlier in the evening, you started breaking down.Â
Your hopes, your dreams, and your heart all started crumbling right before your eyes. You held the duvet tightly around yourself and pretended it was yoongi wrapped around you, it was Yoongi, whispering sweet things in your ear, it was Yoongi, telling you that he loved you.Â
Somewhere you knew, Yoongi is actually doing all these things in real-time but.. Not to you.. Not for you.Â
You closed your eyes, tears streamed down your cheeks and wetted the pillow. You imagined your life as her⊠as your girl crush⊠as the woman your husband, Min Yoongi, loves.Â
âI've got a girl crush⊠Hate to admit it but Iâve got a heart rush⊠It ainât slowin' downâ
#bts angst#yoongi angst#suga angst#bts x reader#yoongi x reader#suga x reader#bts fanfiction#yoongi fanfic#bts x you#suga fanfic#bts arranged marriage au#bts drabble#bts#bts suga#nika's milestone drabble game
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Dead by Dawn (Part 19)
Azriel x Cassian x Reader
Summary:Â Zombie!AU: Itâs been a while since the end of the world.
Warnings:Â Blood, gore, injury, graphic depictions of violence, poly!relationship, slow burn, undead, death, sex, anal, double penetration, fingering.
Word Count: 4689
(Part 1)Â (Part 2)Â (Part 3)Â (Part 4)Â (Part 5)Â (Part 6)Â (Part 7)Â (Part 8)Â (Part 9)Â (Part 10)Â (Part 11)Â (Part 12)Â (Part 13)Â (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18)
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Day 195 Part 5
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âWhat did you just say?â Nestaâs tone is flat, as if all of the emotion that was previously pouring from her soul miraculously disappeared as her walls slammed back up. Itâs eerie, how she does that. She sounds like death incarnate, and not the undead zombie kind. Her face is stony, silver glare sharp as a blade, and the way she wonât stop staring at you makes your throat seize.
Maybe you shouldnât have blurted the conclusion youâd come to upon examining Elainâs wounds. Sheâs surprisingly coherent for someone bitten by a zombie four weeks ago, and with the symptoms you noticed, her mucus changing from black in color to clear, her fever on the verge of breaking, coherent enough to form full sentences, she seems as well on the mend as she would be with any other sickness.
But how could this disease possibly work that way? Yeah, it seems too fucking simple, really, like an age-old gotchya! movie moment thatâs going to kick you all in the ass later on. How could any of these creatives possibly have nailed such an ending like this? A cure for the zombie apocalypse? In the blood of a singular family? Well, as far as you can tell, anyway. Been there, done that, seen that in the cinemas three times over, but you ate it up every single time.
Now that youâre living it, you can confirm that everything about the apocalypse is not that exciting and not that cinematic.
The only sound in the room is Feyreâs soft whimpers of pain. Sheâs out cold, succumbed to the virus threatening to take control of her body, but sheâs breathing, even if it sounds like she swallowed a harmonica. Her restless unconsciousness, at least, draws Rhysâ attention from where heâs still being stiff-armed by Cassian. Youâre not angry with the way he reacted to your helpâŠor lack thereof. Youâre just as worried about Feyre as he is, as anyone in this house is, and you glance at your best friend as if you can will it into her to survive by looks alone.
It's hard to see her like this, but you hold firm to the notion that the Archeron family can defeat the odds stacked against humanity, and that sheâll pull through.
You give yourself a nod of reassurance and straighten your spine as you shift your gaze from Feyre to her oldest sister. Those piercing gray eyes are soul-sucking in their own way, but you know that Nesta is a terrified girl somewhere beneath all of that iron and nails. Not only has she almost lost one sister to a zombie bite, but now two? You canât imagine how sheâs feeling in a time like this, and you feel helpless that there isnât anything more you can do.
âYour blood,â you answer, and are shocked by how strong your voice sounds. Even Rhys looks up from tenderly attending Feyre when you speak, stroking her damp hair from her forehead. You shake your head, continuing. âLook, I couldnât even begin to explain the science behind my thoughts, but from what Iâve seen of Elainâs wound, itâs that the virus is no longer eating away at her. Itâs like when her body finally began combatting against the bite, it justâŠâ You trail off, chewing on your lip as you think. You begin pacing, sorting through your racing thoughts. You hardly notice Eris gently steer Nesta away from you and toward a chair, helping her lower into it. Her spine stays rigid, there is no admitting defeat in front of strangers.
âFroze,â she supplies, and a knowing look washes over her face. Sheâs still glaring at you with those sharp, silver eyes, but at least she isnât looking at you like sheâs actually going to slit your throat for your crazy theories.
âRight,â you agree. Feyre makes another weak noise of protest, like sheâs reliving the nightmare of when she was bitten. How scared she must have been, out there alone with Rhys, searching for you, Azriel, and Cassian and a place to call your own. You shouldâve never split up.
You tear your gaze from your friend, sliding it down to the arm you wrapped in gauze. Youâre terrified to look, to see if the black of the virus in her veins is actively eating at her. The onyx blood polluting her veins travels from the site of the bite, winding all the way down to the tips of her fingers, the black leeching into an intricate spiderweb pattern of her veins. Slowly, carefully, you ease the sleeve of her shirt back above the wound and peek under. The release of breath you let out makes you realize how truly exhausted you are. The wound hasnât crept any higher yet, hasnât continued making its way toward her heart, so you take it as a good sign, for now. Youâll have someone monitor her throughout the night.
 âWhatever is in their blood is fighting back against the infection,â you explain. âI donât know how, or if thereâs anyone else out there whoâs blood can do the same,ââthat is a conversation for later, you note, noticing the weary glance shared between Nesta and Eris. You redirect the end of your sentence to Rhysand, who murmurs something softly in Feyreâs ear, his attention completely focused on what youâre saying. âBut all we can do now is wait.â
You lean into Azrielâs side when he sidles up beside you, reading your wearied fatigue on your face. His body is solid and warm and you want to both nuzzle closer and step back, all too aware of how you might smell, the things youâve touched today. Itâs the first time youâve felt this dirty in a long while. Youâve gotten used to the second, and third, and fourth layers of skin in the form of muck and grime. You ache to get clean.
Azriel doesnât let you get far, sliding a hand around your waist and pulling you into his broad chest. You hope that the few layers of filth can cover the blush creeping up your neck. This still feels so new with him, the silent, stoic man who youâd figured wouldnât dare show his rivals his weakness like this. Something must have happened while he and Cassian joined Nesta and Eris in finding your friends if heâs allowing them to see the intimacy between you two.
Public displays of affection are definitely more Cassianâs thing. Case-in-point, heâs grinning like his smile is going to split his face in two, hazel eyes sparking at the picture you and Azriel paint. Itâs one that makes his cock twitch, the urge to drag the both of you somewhere private is strong.
He bounds over with a swagger that looks more like he should be striding shirtless down the beach instead of across a fancily decorated zombie shelter in the form of a manâs home that tried to kill you. You canât take your eyes off of him, how his muscles jump with each long stride, right until he smothers the both of you in a warm embrace in which you easily accept.
âAnd what of Elainâs progress?â Nesta clears her throat. You open your eyes and catch Eris giving her a nudging reprimand that she ignores. Thatâs fine, because you donât feel bad about being with your boyfriends, either. âSheâs been like this for weeks. Borderline delusional, spouting lines like sheâs a psychic. She may have been able to fight off the virus, but at what cost? Will we ever see our Elain again?â
It's the first tremble of fear you hear from the unfaltering eldest Archeron. And itâs the money question, the one that you have no more of an answer to than how their blood is stopping the infection from the bite.
You shake your head softly and Nestaâs jaw clacks as her teeth snap shut. She shoves up from the chair sheâs sitting at and casts a longing look to Feyre. âWell, then. Youâve upheld your part of the bargain and brought my sister back to us, so you can stay.â It looks like it just about kills her to say it, but Eris looks proud. He even offers you a genuine smile. âWeâll take shifts monitoring her health. Until itâs your turn, you can sleep in the basement.â
You hide the instinctive shudder that spindles down your spine. You and basements donât have a great record, but Erisâ accompanying words do sweeten the deal.
âThereâs a fully stocked bathroom down there, with running water. Please, utilize it to your liking.â You donât know if this is a polite way of telling you that you stink to the high heavens, but you donât care. They have running water.
You almost sprint down the stairs on that promise alone, but the two men holding you close donât let up when you try to squirm away.
Cassian grins at you, amused. You try not to pout, but you canât wait to step under that clean water. You donât even care if itâs warm, you just want to rid yourself of too many days of filth to count.
And the idea of showering with Cassian and AzrielâŠyour brain almost short-circuits in your head. Youâll feel much more comfortable with their mouths on your skin if youâre freshly clean, which means that there will definitely be loads of fooling around tonight, if the exhaustion doesnât drag you down first.
âIâll take first watch,â Rhys says, already planting himself in a chair beside Feyreâs bad arm. He takes her hand gently in his, cradling it as he watches her face contort and sweat drip down her temples. You hurt for the both of them, wishing that there was more that you could do.
Azrielâs lips catch your temple in a long peck. You meet his gaze as he pulls away, and the look on his face tells you and Cassian to go ahead, that heâs going to speak to Rhys.
You nod and allow Cassian to guide you back into the depths of the home.
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âI donât know how the fuck weâre supposed to sleep under the same roof as that,â Cassian shivers and you glare.
âCassian,â you hiss, swatting his arm. He winces, rubbing his bicep and shooting you an apologetic look. âHer name is Elain, and sheâs clearly still alive,â you bite, because heâs being unnecessarily rude. Yes, she looks like she looks like the mother of zombies, but sheâs still a person, or half of one, anyway.
And Feyreâs currently in the same boat.
You wanted to wait for Azriel to shower, you really did, but the enticing call of the clear waters and the steam when Cassian switched the faucet on was like a siren call. There was no denying yourself any longer, and if Azriel finishes his conversation with Rhys within the next hour or two, youâre pretty sure heâll be able to join you.
For now, you have Cassian. Honestly, you would have taken a small bucket of water and a rag and made do. You were not expecting a luxurious bath in the basement of this luxurious home, and not only is the shower humungous, but it has multiple showerheads.
Multiple.
You think that your bad luck might finally be turning around.
âSorry,â he shrugs, sheepishly, and you tug him closer to you by his forearm because the suds dripping down his face almost slide into those big hazel eyes of his with the way that his head is turned down to stare at you apologetically. Quickly, you wipe away the soap. You donât need to hear him whining if it gets in his eyes, youâd like to enjoy the rest of your shower.
You tut, reluctantly accepting his apology. Itâs much easier to when his large hands slide around your waist and tug your body into his. The both of you have refrained from touching thus far, much too interested in the running water and scraping your bodies free of dirt, but now that youâre significantly less dirty, you allow yourself to roam your eyes across every inch of delectable skin he has on show. And you mean every single inch.
Your breath catches in your throat as your body slides against his, leaving no room between you. Your fingers find the hair at the nape of his neck where you play with it, enjoying the feeling of his body pressed against yours.
You can feel his cock filling with need. Despite the hot water beating across your back, your nipples pebble when your chests meet in a deep inhale.
âCassian,â you breathe, fingers tightening between the strands of his hair. His eyes grow with need, the same need thatâs coiling in your gut, begging for attention, for the friction pressed against your stomach.
âYes?â He teases, but his voice is deep with need. You trail your fingers across his shoulders, unable to keep yourself from wandering. Youâd press even closer if there was room to, but there isnât, so you continue your path down his muscular arms, back up, and then trail your touch down his chest, right between your bodies where you can grip his cock.
Cassian hisses out a sharp breath as your fingers wrap around him. Itâs been days since you last fooled around, and heâs never cared about cleanliness, but the fact that he can see what you look like not covered in grime and old bloodâŠyouâre fucking breath-taking.
âTouch me,â you beg softly. âI need you to touch me.â
Cassian doesnât hesitate. His hands wind around your thighs and then heâs hoisting you up into his arms with ease. You wince, nails clawing at his shoulders while you worry about his leg but he shakes his head. He doesnât even give you the chance to ask because his head dips low, his mouth capturing yours in a desperate kiss.
You part your lips for him, kissing him just as hotly, moaning when his tongue traces yours. You pour everything into the kiss, the emotions wearing on you from days spent locking them up. The loss of half of your group, Feyre being bitten, finding all this. Itâs overwhelming in the best way, even more so when Cassianâs fingers skim across your slit, causing you to moan loudly, arching into his chest.
âFuck,â he curses. His chest heaves against your own as he pulls away to drink in your features as he grips your hips and pulls you even harder against him. Your eyes roll into the back of your head at the friction of his cock against your soaked slit. âYouâre so fucking perfect.â
âNo, you,â you protest breathlessly, unsure if youâre even making any sense. It doesnât matter right now, anyway, not with the way youâre dragging your nails down the muscle of his back, telling Cassian that you want more.
His laugh warms your body. It settles between your thighs, the ones that he looks like he wants to settle between. The door opens, stealing both of your attention.
Azriel steps through, running a hand through his dark hair. His lips are pressed in a firm line, his eyes downturned toward the ground. Whatever happened during his conversation with Rhys weighs heavily on him, you catch the flash of sadness in his eyes when he lifts them to meet yours before they fall down you and Cassianâs bodies, drinking in the way youâre entwined with each other.
And Azrielâs gaze heats. Makes you squirm in the best fucking way because you need him just as badly. You want him pressed up against your back, kissing at your neck with his fingers trailing possessively down your body and he and Cassian fight for dominance over you. As he worms his way into your ass, Cassian at your front.
You want both of them, and you want them now.
The words are stuck in your throat, but Azriel sees them. He always does, which is why he wastes no time at all shedding his clothes before entering through the glass door of the shower when you raise your hand to him.
His hazel gaze doesnât leave yours, not even when Cassian gets back to work, growling deeply against your neck as he ravages you. You release a mewl of pleasure, one hand clamping around the back of his neck to keep him buried against your throat.
Azriel doesnât stop under one of the many showerheads pouring water. Doesnât pause at the warmth that drapes itself down his body in a way you could only wish to imitate with the flat of your tongue. He wears the water as well as he wears anything, and his stride doesnât break until he reaches you.
He caresses your face with a firm hand to your jaw, guiding you right to his lips. Heâs sinful with the way that he kisses, knows exactly what to do to make you fucking melt. Even Cassian pulls away to watch the both of you devour each other, and you can feel him growl lowly in his chest, pleasure spiking the temperature of the room to boiling.
Youâre so dazed after Azrielâs kiss that you barely catch his words, too busy chasing the taste of his mouth to hear. âLet me wash up first, and Iâll be right here,â he explains, his fingers trailing scalding lines down your back. The tips of his fingers trail right between the crease of your cheeks, a teasing brush over your hole. You shudder with pleasure, automatically leaning further into Azriel for more. You whine when he pulls away, but he kisses you harshly before stepping away completely. âIâm filthy, sweetheart, and youâre all pretty and clean.â
âMake a mess of me, Az,â you keen as Cassian slips a thick finger into your cunt. It slides in with little resistance and you clench around his digit. The both of them threaten to overwhelm you already, and you donât even have one of their cocks inside of you. How will you be when both of them are sheathed inside of you? âPlease.â
âFuck,â he groans, staring at you up and down. You look like a pretty doll all perched up in Cassianâs arms, ready for the taking. Azriel forces himself a step away, but his hot gaze doesnât slip from yours. âLet me clean up while Cassian stretches you and Iâll be right there.â
You agree with a huff that shifts into a whine as Cassian teases that finger in a circle, brushing up against your sensitive spot. You hardly get to revel in the feeling before heâs moving further back, pulling out just to press the tip into your ass.
âRelax,â he murmurs against your cheek, peppering encouraging kisses to your face as he slowly works his finger inside of your rear. Itâs a foreign feeling, but it doesnât hurt. You focus on the feeling of his lips on your skin, craning your neck to find his mouth with your own as you force your muscles to relax. âThatâs my girl.â
You shudder at those words, liking them all too much.
Half of your time is spent kissing the daylights out of Cassian while the other half of the time is spent ogling Azriel. The delicious curve of his body as he washes the sins of the apocalypse from his body, all so that he can revel in the sins of yours. You canât help but watch him, the way his muscles contract and contort with his motions. You wish you were the bar of soap he drags down his abs. You swallow harshly when that bar of soap makes it to the vee of his hips and he circles his cock, cleaning himself.
When you rip your eyes away from the display, you catch his hazel ones, glittering with amusement.
You donât think you can wait all that much longer.
âQuit teasing her, Az,â Cassian groans when you slide yourself against his cock again. Itâs a lame attempt at trying to catch his tip so you can sink yourself on him, and when it doesnât work, you find yourself reaching a hand between your bodies. You canïżœïżœt wait any longer, you need something inside of you right now or you might burst, but Cassian quickly catches your wrist in his hand, drawing you away from your trophy. âSheâs ready.â
You preen at his words, turning to look at Cassian eagerly. His grin is so fucking charming that it makes your heart skip in your chest and you canât help but lift yourself up to catch his lips against yours, thanking him for being so gentle with you.
âYou want to do this in here, pretty girl?â He asks, wiping a strand of hair plastered to your cheek away. His thumb strokes softly against your face, and his eyes are filled with adoration.
âYes,â you plead. âYes, yes, please. I want the both of you right here,â you shake your head profusely. Emotions well your eyes. You donât think that youâve ever been this aroused before, and not only by one man, but with his companion that has taken you so long to win over. Itâs the best thing youâve ever done and you would do it all over again if you had to.
You turn in Cassianâs arms, reaching for Azriel as he finally nears. Heâs as squeaky clean as you are, and he looks utterly fucking edible, even more so when he falls easily into your kiss and plasters himself against your back, trapping you between him and Cassian.
âPlease,â you whine again when his lips move from yours in favor of tracing down your skin. His fingers are hot, impatient as they glide across your body, gripping and squeezing every inch of you. Cassianâs doing much the same, and the feeling of the both of them against you is overwhelming in the best possible way.
Azriel hushes you, nipping at your earlobe. Over your shoulder, he makes eye contact with Cassian, who nods. Oh-so slowly, does Azriel take his cock in hand and tease it through your seam, notching the head of himself right against your hole.
âDo it,â you breathe, already arching backwards into him. Azriel doesnât waste any time, and the both of you release a long, drawn out hiss as he slowly edges his cock into your ass.
âYou okay?â He mutters into your ear, though he doesnât think he could stop himself if he fucking tried. Youâre too tight around his cock, if he doesnât squeeze his eyes shut, heâs going to cum, and he hasnât even given one full pump inside of you yet. Hell, Cassian hasnât even worked himself inside of you yet, either. He needs to chill the fuck out.
âMore than,â you groan in pleasure. Your fingers curl into the back of his thigh where youâre holding onto him for dear life. âCass, baby, please!â
âAlright, baby,â he whispers, pressing a kiss to your mouth, distracting you as he presses slowly into your cunt. âFuck, youâre so tight.â
And theyâre so big. Gods, itâs like theyâre fucking ripping you in half. Youâve never felt better though, being stretched by the both of their cocks almost makes the apocalypse and everything you went through worth it.
Azriel grunts at the feeling of Cassianâs cock grinding slowly into you. He can feel it through the wall of muscle that keeps him away from Cassian, and holy fuck, itâs better than anything heâs ever done before.
When Cassian comes to an agonizing stop, his hips meeting yours, thereâs a stillness in the air. The three of you take a deep breath as one, and it feels like everything that has been waiting to click into place finally does.
It feels like you can finally breathe.
The three of you are attached as one, and you know that in this moment, that there is no leaving each other again. All for one, and one for all.
You love them, and they love you, even if no one is emotionally available to admit it in this very moment.
âMove,â you grit, before you take matters into your own hands.
Neither man wastes a fucking second, and you cry out loudly as they both begin jerking their hips into yours.
âOh, my Gods,â you moan loudly, uncaring if the sounds youâre making seep through the floorboards to the floors above. You wouldnât care if you took the mountains down with your pleas, with the noises theyâre forcing out of your body as long as they keep fucking going. âDonât stop!â
âNever,â Cassian agrees huskily, and you can hear the promise in his voice. He readjusts his hands under your ass, keeping you upright. He revels in the way your fingers drag down his muscle, how your other hand is thrown behind your head, keeping Azriel close as you kiss hungrily. Cassian watches, enjoying the view.
When you and Azriel break apart, itâs because your head is too busy falling back against his shoulder in pleasure. Azrielâs hazel eyes meet Cassianâs heady look. The both of them are sweating, beads mixing with the water thatâs still pouring from the spout above. This is unlike anything either of them has experienced before, that either of them ever thought could happen. They found you, and youâve all accepted each other. Itâs a match made in fucking hell, but thereâs nothing better.
Cassian canât take it any longer. You cry out when he shifts forward, capturing Azrielâs mouth against his own. Itâs a messy kiss, one where they grapple for dominance, but itâs so fucking hot that it has the pit of your stomach coiling. Their cocks drive into you even faster as they kiss, more teeth than anything, and you trip into your orgasm, gripping onto them as they continue to plunge into you.
Both men rip apart to watch your orgasm ripple over you. Youâre so fucking beautiful, and you arch, preen under their heavy, hungry gazes. Fuck, you want their eyes on you always, youâll do anything for it.
Your body tremors with pleasure, tightening around their cocks in a way that makes them release twin groans of pleasure.
âIâm not going to last,â Cassian pants, and Azriel agrees with a choked moan. That, and the way that your eyes flutter open, your face contorting with pleasure so quickly after your first orgasm, is Cassianâs undoing. He cums with a loud groan, jerking his hips into you once, twice, thrice more before heâs emptying himself inside of you.
The feeling cascades over Azriel last, and he cums, burying his head in your neck. You moan as his canines pierce your skin, harsh but not enough to break skin. Youâd be worried about the feeling if you werenât drowning in fucking pleasure, the feeling akin to what youâve come to fear the most. Instead, you bury your fingers in his black hair to keep him in place.
âOne more,â Azriel encourages softly, voice weighed down with pleasure. His hand snakes around your body and his fingers find your clit, rubbing in tight circles. Cassian groans when you tighten around them again, milking their cocks for all their worth. To help you out, Cassian dips low and sucks one of your pert nipples into his mouth.
You cum again with a scream that nearly shatters the glass shower door.
âThere she is,â Cassian grunts against your wet skin, cuddling you close when you deflate into his chest. You whimper when Azriel slowly removes himself from your ass, and Cassian cradles the back of your head. âYou did so well, pretty girl. So good for us.â
You can only nod, exhaustion weighing your limbs.
âSleep,â Azriel encourages, and his hands find your body in a soothing motion as he helps clean you off. Thereâs a light press of lips against your cheek but you donât know if itâs Cassian or Azrielâs doing. Maybe both. You let your fatigue carry you into a dreamless sleep, entrusting both men fully to care for you.
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