#and the fragility of that age

[vpgoldenrod]

I’d like to share a short story I stumbled onto while reading Fragile Things by Neil Gaiman.

[please-picturemeintheweeds]

@taylortruther yeah! It’s all sort of muddy, and it’s late so this may not make a lot of sense but I’ll just type a bit of what’s bouncing around in my brain!

TW: would’ve could’ve should’ve discussion, abuse patterns, addiction, drugs, age gap stuff (I also try to tag all my thoughts on this sort of thing with “would’ve could’ve should’ve hours” for anyone wanting to read more or filter it!)

Don’t Blame Me has always felt really dark to me. I’ve had it on playlists next to dear john for ages, and rep makes me spiral about the deep wounds she was working through whenever I listen to it, so this line in I Can See You made me do an audio double take. Addiction is serious, and I think she probably knows that, so it’s always confused me when people talk about DBM as a romantic thing. There’s the obvious connection to I Can See You there- my drug is my baby. The first verse of DBM about using older men like playthings feels scathing to me- she didn’t toy with adult men when she was 19, they toyed with her (too young to be played by your dark twisted games). Then “something happened for the first time, the darkest little paradise..” clicked with WCS “the gods honest truth is that the pain was heaven” and of course “give me back my girlhood it was mine first.” Also “for you I would cross the line, I would waste my time, I would lose my mind” reminds me of “my mother accused me of losing my mind but I swore I was fine”. There’s just sooooo many parallels between all these songs, and I’m fascinated by I Can See You being the moment she tries the drug that alters the course of her life. “Halo hiding my obsession // I’ve been watching you for ages… what would you do if you only knew.”

The prayer candles from WCS lyric video are also on the stage during DBM- there’s a narrative in the setlist that covers the way being a hopeless romantic has gotten her hurt (bc people take advantage of it!). “Love made me crazy if it doesn’t you ain’t doin it right.” Plus the gospel vibe in DBM and references to the lord and poison are reflected in WCS. Something super insidious about whatever that man did to her and her understanding of lust and self worth and secrecy and shame. And then how the public reacted to all of this with flat out misogyny and victim blaming, which he intentionally escalated -> self loathing and self destructive behavior. (I would fall from grace just to touch your face // now I fear I have fallen from grace).

I’m just so interested in how she describes this situation over the years a lot like heroine addiction! She tried something bc it was offered to her (likely with some pressure to take things further), she was curious, it was euphoric, and she was chasing that high for a long time (with the same person who would give love then take it away, and then with the next person who was unfortunately similar just not as outright disgusting), even though it was destroying her. hence the relationship patterns that she talks about throughout her discography. This may or may not be relevant, but Trouble and the video seem important too: “once upon a time, a few mistakes ago, I was in your sights, you got me alone, you found me… flew me to places I’d never been…. The saddest fear comes creeping in that you never loved me or her or anyone or anything…”

This is a bit more interpretive, but I personally think she sometimes explores really raw things in her music but makes it vague enough to be a smash hit pop song without drawing the tabloid click bait. Like she couldn’t possibly have released a WCS in 2018 bc people would have eaten her alive for not being over something that happened so long ago. Dressing it up in a “bad girl” character costume made it safe to explore through art. I just don’t think it’s realistic for her to have “moved on” entirely by reputation, knowing myself and looots of other people who have experienced some flavor of relationship trauma in our late teens. That shit haunts people for yearssssss, sometimes it’s just less obvious than others, and the processing that has to happen looks different at different times.

Idk if that even talked about the tags I left originally bc I’m on mobile and can’t see them while writing, but yeah! It’s sooo interesting to me and upsetting and it’s way bigger than I could even begin to get into here! There’s just so much going on poetically in all these songs and how they relate to each other, and how we can use autobiographical details as an entry point to some of the layers of meaning in her art, while also reflecting on how rape culture’s dismissal of these things damages young women on top of the original hurt.

I’m super curious about other people’s thoughts on it too! I feel like I’m going insane over here thinking about this stuff!! But it’s an angle I don’t see talked about often, probably bc it enters “speculation” territory and is also a tough subject bc it’s so personal for anyone who relates at all.

Starting to think too hard about “I could see you being my addiction” and now I feel unwell 😵‍💫

[pangur-and-grim]

I am probably going to do a sale, bring back some retired designs or something, because I dropped nearly 4K on Grim’s multi-day hospitalization and now I’m about to do the same for Pangur.

[fishslappping]

the little comment that all elves eventually lose their hair if they live long enough is driving me insane like what about their physiology does that? Is it just the follicles that age on elves? Is hair immune to magic?? Is it keratin?? Do they lose their nails too?? do elves just become smooth and fleshy?? where does it end?? Why does this happen??!

[thevillainsfangirl]

There are some ships that you just know would be 100% canon if they were an M/F ship, and that's mainly what pisses people off the most in these situations.

It isn't just about the ship; it's also very much about the homophobia (whether the creators know it or not) that is preventing the ship from being canon when they otherwise would be.

(Addition.)

[more-than-ideas]

gracefully

[wolves-in-the-world]

the thing about eliot spencer as a character, right. the thing about him.

(and as always your mileage may vary on my analyses so if we disagree that's cool actually)

is that he is in fact a somewhat emotionally constipated idiot who is occasionally sensitive about his perceived masculinity and gets defensive about emotional intimacy around other men (largely hardison, who's much more comfortable expressing affection and embracing a softer kind of masculinity), but eliot displays enough emotional awareness and sensitivity and respect for women etc etc that anyone who's been subjected to that era of television will put on rose-tinted glasses without even looking twice.

(and he is, don't get me wrong, incredibly emotionally aware for a professionally punchy guy with enough trauma to sink the titanic. it still startles me to see.)

on top of which we have the layers and the accessories and the excellent hair with the secret braids and the way he barely has an ego and he's good with kids and protective of his team without taking it too far, and some of us never stood a fucking chance.

[royalarchivist]

Fit: Where are you, Pac? I got you, I got you, I gotchu!

Pac: I'm in- I'm in- I'm in heaven, Fit! I'm in heaven...

Fit: No, you're not in heaven yet! You're not going to heaven, no no no–

Pac: I'm gonna go for... I'm going- I'm going to the light, I'm going to the light...

Fit: Stay with me, stay with me! Stay with me.

Pac: I'm going for the light– [Sighs in relief as he's revived] I'm here.

Fit: You're good, you're good.

[Full Transcript ↓ ]

—

Tina: Wow, the radius for that is huge.

Pac: [Steps on a mine and gets blown up] Whoa!

Fit: Oh, those are all mines, arent' they? Those are all mines, you bastard.

Aypierre: Let- let- let me fix this road... [He starts placing blocks]

Foolish: See? This is why mines need to be allowed, they're too fun.

Fit: [Laughs]

Pac: Yeah, actually.

Aypierre: Look, look– it's perfect, it's perfect.

Pac: [Steps on one of the blocks Aypierre placed, which was a mine, and immediately blows up]

Fit: Pac! No, Pac–! NOOO!!!

Pac: [Laughs and then shouts at Aypierre]

Aypierre: Where are you, Pac?

[Time skip]

Foolish: Did you get your stuff, Tina?

Tina: I will... I'll find a way... [She steps on a mine and blows up] AAAAAAAAA–

[Fit and Pac laugh]

Tina: PLEASE!

Fit: Those are all mines!

Tina: No, please! My stuff! I gotta go– [She gets lit on fire and screams again] PLEASE!

Pac: God damnnit!

Tina: Please, I just want my stuff back!

[They all laugh]

Fit: Jesus.

Tina: I'm gonna go get it! I'm gonna get it! Aghhhh–

Foolish: [Jumping in after Tina] Wait, there could be another landmine!

Tina: I want my things, Foolish!!!

Pac: [Jumps in too and steps on a landmmine, which immediately downs him] AAAAA!!!

Fit: Sht– Where are you, Pac? I got you, I got you, I gotchu!

Pac: [Overlapping with Fit] I'm in- I'm in- I'm in heaven, Fit! I'm in heaven...

Fit: No, you're not in heaven yet! You're not going to heaven, no no no–

Pac: I'm gonna go for... I'm going- I'm going to the light, I'm going to the light...

Fit: Stay with me, stay with me! Stay with me.

Pac: I'm going for the light– [Sighs in relief as he's revived] I'm here.

Fit: You're good, you're good.

Tina: Oh god... I'm scared, I'm scared!

Foolish: You did it!

[serahlink]

‼️HELP A HOMELESS ARTIST ‼️

Reblogs are greatly appreciated! :")

Making a new post because my family and I are in dire need of help. My name is Link, I'm a 22 y/o artist and since November 2021, my family and I have been homeless and living in a motel. Since neither of us had our documents or IDs when we first got here, it was up to me to open commissions to support us. Although my father has his id now, getting a job out in the mountains where we don't have transportation or a way for them to contact us is very difficult. Until that changes, we're still dependant on my commissions to help us through paying for rent and soon food, as this is our last month of food stamps due to the policies here.

This week and especially this month has been super tough on us since work has gone down for me tremendously. There's been weeks were we can't pay and owe upwards of 100$+ every other day since it adds up so quickly. There are days where if we didn't have food stamps, we wouldn't have any food at all and since it's ending soon, I'm hoping this will help me find some more work to care of my family with. Right now our situation is urgent. We need 250$ to cover for tomorrow and we don't have anything as of yet. If we can't have everything paid for by tomorrow, we will be kicked out and since families on both sides have cut us off both communication and money wise, it doesn't look good if that happens.

So, all my slots are open for anyone who's interested in helping us out! I'm a primarily DnD/fantasy themed artist. I mainly draw Dragon Age centered art but I've also done work of Baldurs Gate 3 tavs and other DnD related stuff as well! I can also work outside of fantasy, I've done all things from simple portrait commissions to furries to even dragons, I'm flexible with most things. The only thing I won't do is sexual nudity since I'm not particularly educated enough to draw that sorta stuff yet. Payment will be upfront since our situation is extremely dire at the moment and in turn since we have to use the money we get immediately for rent and soon enough food, no refunds can be given back so please take that into consideration. I'm all for making changes if you aren't happy with how a piece is turning out.

My prices will be below! Thank you to all that sees this and helps either through reblogging or commissioning me, it always means a lot to my family and I! :")

~Prices~

Sketch (price depending on type of sketch) - base price of 15$

Sketch page - 15$ per sketch

Headshot - 25$ (+10$ if shaded)

Bust - 35$ (+10$ if shaded)

Expression Sheet (minimum of 3 heads per sheet, 10$+ per extra head) - 45$ (10$+ if shaded)

Half body - 50$ (+10$ if shaded)

Full body - 70$ (+15$ if shaded)

Couples Commission (a commission that includes two people) - 90$ (+15$ if shaded)

Group commissions (commission that includes more than two people, price dependant on the details) - 60 base price(one character, unshaded; each extra character is +75% to the original price) (40$+ if shaded)

Paintings (price depending on the details) - 100$+

[mickeym4ndy]

i love you traumatized characters that are just unapologetically furious. victims that are violent and full of rage and resentment. characters that can’t accept what happened to them. characters that first react with anger and violence because that’s all they’ve ever known. characters that are unpalatable to most because they don’t fit the idea that people have in their heads of abuse victims. love you.

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Maybe this is just me being outta pocket but I find the idea of Hobie's first day at HQ hilarious

And I can't explain it but if you're a black punk you know what I mean - if ur alt and black uve had it happen before

like the way people act when they've never seen a black punk or goth person before

Peters seems like the type of dude that stands there tryna compliment him while also fumbling and not trying to sound offensive and he's like

'wow Hobie your hair is so..big, and unique. Really crazy. It's uh.. cool. Is it an afroooo or dreads - or locs I mean?? '

and Hobie just stands there looking at him like

cause he's had this conversation like twelve times today and if he has to say 'not dreads.' one more time he's going to start telling Peters about themselves and their middle-aged hairlines

[seance]

WHO AM I TO YOU? I AM THE ANTICHRIST TO YOU.

[clairevoyant813]

situation in america so bad im in and out of sleep, dreaming that i wake in emmrich's arms, safe and sound, instead of waking to this horrid country

[imogenkol]

KINCADE PACK 🐺 (original works) — “The name goes back centuries, and all Miranda cares about is making sure it lasts for many more”

[template by @tommyarashikage]

tag list (ask to be added or removed!): @adelaidedrubman @florbelles @simonxriley @voidika @kyberinfinitygems @voidbuggg @inafieldofdaisies @statichvm @socially-awkward-skeleton @aceghosts @carlosoliveiraa @risingsh0t @unholymilf @thedeadthree @cassietrn @jackiesarch @a-treides @shellibisshe @loriane-elmuerto @katsigian @captastra @simplegenius042 @theelderhazelnut @g0dspeeed @leviiackrman @strangefable @jacobseed

[distortedclouds]

I think Jean's "proper gentleman" upbringing would come back to bite him when he's super conflicted about being into Pieck because she's a few years older than him

Armin easily solves it for him by goung "do it :3 Jeanbo. It's great, actually! Trust me bro 😈"

[more-than-ideas]

on aging ~ Tatjana Nekliudova