#and the first thing this dude did in the podcast was FUCKING DIE

[trustypaladin]

Partners...

[mybedroomceilingsbored]

spewing whatever shit pops into my head for all my fav tma characters

ALRIGHT babes a whole entire six people wanted to see my opinions on characters so far (i just finished #103), but i don't rlly have a direction to take with this. i was thinking about giving them ratings but idek what i'd rate them ON lmao. SO!

Jon-ohoho he's so DRY and so FUNNY and somebody needs to bitch slap this man. how am i supposed to get a goofy workplace drama if he's so genre-aware?? i don't like him THAT much, but honestly the whole show would be a lot more boring without his paranoia. also was his skin rlly so bad that it took an entire MONTH to get him thoroughly moisturized? ur body is a temple, johnny boy :(

Martin-omg he's such a bean. i relate to this man a lil too much for comfort-he's bullied waaay too much by absolutely everyone in this podcast. if he reads too many statements and turns into another jon or smth i'll SWIM to the uk specifically to yell at the writers, this man is to be PROTECTED at all costs! also he SOUNDS like a fucking redhead. you can hear it in his voice. and it shows very clearly in his poetry.

Tim-hehehe ICON. s1 finale tim was honestly the greatest thing ever, the way he's changed is absolutely breaking my heart. prancing into the office during a worm attack and immediately sitting down on 20 cans of CO2 sounds EXACTLY like smth i'd do, honestly props to him for staying so calm during the whole thing. and the fact that he's fucking all these cops for information is just *chef's kiss* tbh, his entire EXISTENCE is a power move. he's got a statement coming up and i'm kinda terrified. he's been so.. depressingly realistic lately and i'm scared for him :(

Sasha/Not Sasha-sasha seemed so sweet, i wish i'd gotten to know her better before the switch! all i remember from her first vocal appearance is staring into space afterwards, trying to remember how i used to pronounce 'calliope'. i feel like her death/switch didn't hold as much gravity as it should've-i rlly wish i'd seen more of her! also, the way not sasha was the LEAST suspicious to jon-that monster's got acting CHOPS. we need her in the local theater group, HOW TF can anyone be that convincing?!?!?!

Monster Pig-last statement i listened to, so it's VERY fresh in my mind lmao. this pig deserves DEATH. i don't fucking CARE if it's "friendly", it ATE a FUCKING CLOWN. KILL ITTTTT. i am a VEGETARIAN

Michael-by FAR my favorite, the best character i've come across in quite a while, god's favorite princess <3 i adore this wonky man, he's such a legend. PEAK laugh. and he's so chaotic lmao!!! (no he absolutely did not die, what are you talking about???? that didn't happen. or Michael Shelley's tragic backstory that had me literally crying over a gd podcast, no way. i'm in DEEP denial) i adore how his first vocal appearance was just strutting into Jon's office, kidnapping a realtor, monologuing abt his identity issues, stabbing the archivist, and sashaying away. SUCH a funky dude, i adore him

Elias-he gives me bitter oldest kid vibes, this man needs therapy. what a kooky asshat, stop peeping on people.

Jude-hot in every way possible. sorry but it's TRUE. a rlly bad liar tho. not only does she speak in fucking italics, but you can tell she's giggling kicking her feet twisting her short little hairs as she's trying to get jon to shake her hand. bitch, you're sexy and you know it, SPEAK UP!!

Wormy Jane-an icon, honestly. the whole EMBODIMENT of ick. not to mention if i actually saw this woman i'd lose my SHIT, she terrifies the bejeezus outta me. her statement was what made me (sorta) stop picking at my face (for a little bit at least). i honestly wonder what she was on that made her stick her whole fucking arm in a HAUNTED WASP'S NEST. it's also so hilarious that she was camped outside Martin's apartment for WEEKS and nobody rlly questioned it-this woman is on a MISSION. slay, ick queen.

Melanie-this woman has more balls than anyone else on this damn podcast (ahem, elias mostly). we stan a girlboss with a knife-the way she was just planning to JUMP him??? melanie's 100% RIPPED, she SOUNDS like a gym rat i think. i wanna see her beat the shit outta all these ghosts :3

You're A Lighter-idk how to spell his actual name and i'm too lazy to look it up, so this is what y'all're getting. the snotty old library dude with such a kooky voice, all i could think of when i first heard him was the Kool-Aid man lmaoo. and he needs to take better care of his assistants!! EXTREMELY unsustainable :( he's like a bowerbird collecting all the shiny homicidal books.

Helen-she ATE my babygirl??!!!!?!?!!?! COMPLETELY unacceptable. i won't deny the girl's got guts for just.. chilling in Michael's creepy hallways, but COUGH UP THE CREEPY BLOND for christ's sake.

Trevor Herbert-10/10 honestly. i LOVED his statements, the vampires are SO CRAZY CREEPY and i love how he just kinda fucks around? does some light stalking? and usually ends up with a bunch of dead monsters! in essence, he looked an eldritch horror in the face, called it a slur, and whacked it with a stick. legend.

[kpopsexstories]

Kissing Booth Ep. 2 – Jisung jealously watches Chenle have sex with a girl

‘Kissing Booth’ is a fictional podcast hosted by boyfriends Chenle and Jisung. In it they discuss love, sex and relationships. This Kissing Booth Tumblr series is excerpts from the couple's most sexual conversations on the show.

EPISODE 2: JEALOUS

Chenle: Have you ever been jealous of me?

Jisung: Never. You're not that big of a deal.

Chenle: *Pfft* I got more Instagram followers than you.

Jisung: Do you? Are you sure?

Chenle: Yeah! Of course I'm sure. Why do you never believe me?

Jisung: You're not the most reliable person…

Chenle: Let me rephrase. Have I ever made you jealous?

Jisung: Yeah. Lots of times. There was a period when I couldn't even stand another person looking at you. You're mine!

Chenle: So possessive. That's usually my style.

Jisung: You like it though. I don't know, you're a possessive boyfriend that's for sure, but I think in the right circumstances I'm even worse.

Chenle: Like when?

Jisung: Remember Lea?

Chenle: Ah, Lea! Now that was good sex!

Jisung: Fuck you! It was average at best.

Chenle: How would you know?

Jisung: …

Chenle: What?

Jisung: *Smirks*

Chenle: Whaat?

Jisung: I was jealous, okay! We should never have been on that stupid break. You made my heart ache.

Chenle: I love it when you're jealous.

Jisung: I was sooo jealous, I'm not ashamed to admit it. I know she was your childhood love but you were mine and I hated her.

Chenle: You don't hate her. Besides you she's still my best friend.

Jisung: I know, I don't hate her now. But back then I did.

Chenle: So… How would you know if our sex was good? What haven't you told me?

Jisung: Don't kill me okay?

Chenle: What? Just tell me!

Jisung: I heard you. I got curious. So I snuck in.

Chenle: Lol, what the hell?

Jisung: Hey, it's not my fault you didn't lock the freakin’ door! And I can't believe you didn't notice me. I snuck in and hid in the closet. I saw the whole thing. No way some girl was gonna take my baby from me and violate him without my consent.

Chenle: I can't believe you're telling me this now, live on air. I had no idea!

Jisung: Yeah, you didn't. Because I'm awesome.

Chenle: And jealous?

Jisung: So jealous! When I first heard you guys it felt like I was gonna die. When I saw your cute little but on top of her I wanted to scream. But then it got kinda exciting.

Chenle: Please don't tell me you…

Jisung: I did.

Chenle: IN MY CLOSET?

Jisung: In your underwear actually. I didn't have any tissues.

Chenle: WHILE WATCHING MY GIRLFRIEND?

Jisung: She wasn't your girlfriend.

Chenle: But we were on a break!

Jisung: Worst time of my life.

Chenle: I fucking love you.

Jisung: …

Chenle: Lol, I can't believe you did that!

Jisung: And I'm telling you, you weren't that great.

Chenle: Oh shut up.

Jisung: You sort of just lay there…

Chenle: I was enjoying it. It was nice to be the top for once.

Jisung: I don't think you call it that when it's with a girl.

Chenle: Whatever. But was I really that bad?

Jisung: No, you were freakin’ hot baby. The way your little ass moved up and down. It made me so hard.

Chenle: Thank you. That's what I want to hear.

Jisung: …but I don't think Lea would agree. She didn't seem that into it.

Chenle: Oh fuck you.

Jisung: *Winks* Any time.

Chenle: Well at least you were jealous. That's all that matters to me.

Jisung: So jealous babe. Promise me you'll never do that to me again.

Chenle: Promise me you won't sneak into my room when I'm having sex.

Jisung: I don't need to.

Chenle: Yes you do or we're over.

Jisung: No, because I'm already in the room with you, stupid.

Chenle: Right. I didn't like that break either. Promise we'll never break up again?

Jisung: Why should I?

Chenle: The only one you can have sex with ever again is me okay?

Jisung: Hmm, I'm not sure I can promise that. What if I have a Lea in my life too?

Chenle: Jisung Park! Promise me!

Jisung: Why? Jealous much?

Chenle: Whatever dude. I didn't sneak into your room.

Jisung: Ehm, that's not true!

Chenle: When?

Jisung: Like all the time when we were trainees.

Chenle: Oh, right. Yeeah, I did do that a lot didn't I?

Jisung: All the freakin’ time.

Chenle: And I was great wasn't I?

Jisung: The best! So horny. We were so inexperienced back then but laying there secretly touching each other felt really good. Makes my heart flutter just thinking about it.

Chenle: I guess it was always better with you.

Jisung: Because I'm jealous and possessive?

Chenle: Because I love you. I don't actually want you to ever feel jealous. I love you too much to want to hurt you like that. I'm sorry.

Jisung: It's alright. Like I said, Lea didn't think you were that good anyway so I'm not worried.

Chenle: Whatever dude.

[complete-idiot-in-love]

Watching episode 39 of Once Upon A Witchlight (Spoilers warning!)

This podcast is so found family coded for me and I'm definitely gonna start writing down moments I liked to share here with y'all! I already got episode 40 done too so be on the lookout for that post after this one uwu

@cafekitsune made these awesome dividers, I'm gonna start using them for style!

Bloodytoes flirting with Gricko because of their shared hatred of the lornlings gives me "really? In front of my salad?" Vibes but the salad is hootsie

Mikey not blinking for the entire opening was very scary and also worrying because how the hell can he do that??? And it just made me wonder if Gricko could do that also

When Torbek is eating the feathers and plucking the vultures, I can imagine my self insert just giving him MORE feathers to eat because "I can't tell if this is a bugbear thing or a Torbek thing but if it makes him happy :) "

Andy and Mikey talking joking about Frost having rizz and also being an incel with a fedora was so good. I can't believe my AroAce (Headcanon) brother has more rizz than me >:(

Derek jokingly telling Nikki her heartbeat sounds aren't good enough and he should do them which makes her kill frost with a sharp pot lid “my fucking rest of my body!" Was so damn funny

Sea cucumber robert rectangle trousers ice pops (Spongebob Squarepants) I love it when Gricko makes unofficial names for random things haha!!

“You feel frost filling your mouth" NOT THE FIRST TIME, PROBABLY WON'T BE THE LAST!!!

The group really wanting to leave Gricko for dead in the meat locker because his stupid ass really wanted the heart in the box

Hootsie biting off Gideon's nipple so hard that it gushes blood and B-Toes looking happy about it. Hootsie just was protecting her Papa!!

Mending is Frost's signature spell at this point I swear to the gods

“Male satyr dangling his, dangling his hooves” BAD PLACE TO STUTTER NIKKI!!

Gideon's rage code word being bitch is never NOT funny to me

Torbek FINALLY using one of his dimension doors from back when they fought the rabbits to save the satyr is so nice (like what if he did it cause he thought maybe the satyr was related to my self insert?) Also did they retcon him eating the second one or what cause apparently he has another but when Andy was absent, Nikki made Torbek eat it and fall unconscious

The satyrs name is Vancele (vawn-cell) and he is HUNG (and maybe related to my self insert but probably not) Also just in general I love it when the group runs into satyrs because it shows that there is a good possibility that my character COULD be canon! And it's just funny to imagine my amnesiac satyr seeing another one and being like "Are we related??"

Gideon comforting his upset husband about his missing hat is so damn cute, I love my dads so much

Gricko being terrible at lying is such a Gricko thing

Torbek being fancy with his new +1 luck rose! So glad he got something good, my bestie deserves it!!

Every time Gricko says “those FUCKERS" I die out laughing because of how unnaturally pissed off he is

Frost being the most accidentally horniest dude on the team AND the most badass with his meta magic is so cool “I will do them both, I'm very flexible" My brother got RIZZ!!

[arthurtaylorlester]

malevolent pt 31 liveblog ''the nightmare''

arthur is sleepy i'm so glad

WAIT WHAT

KELLIN??

WHERE'S JOHN

WHY THE FUCK IS KELLIN THERE

DOWN THE TOWER??

WHAT

IS

GOING

ON

oh wait i get it

is the whole episode a fever dream

THE HEAD!!!! RETURNS

samantha is its name

girl what is going on did i miss something

yes you are daft arthur

where is john

i miss him

i cant have him gone again after s3

the voice being distorted?

ayo kellin lowkey sounds like john what is going on

the butcher?? the apartment??

i think i get it. arthur is like dreaming and his memories are blending. kelling and john function as the same person

UNCLE? this is definitely a dream

OH GOD ARTHUR TRAUMA AHHHHHHH

LISTEN TO JOHN GODAMMIT

the train? oh this is getting good

PERCIVAL !!!

NO NOT HIS WIFE WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU KILLED HER

JOHN !! YES LISTEN !!

who is john?

wdym you DONT REMEMBER

I WAS RIGHT KELLING = JOHN RN

yes bbg you are dreaming

noooo you didnt drown your girl arthur

wait is kiy has the dreamlands does he have dreams as well

LISTEN !! TO !! JOHN !!

YES HE IS YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS

why is you trying grunting real hard dude wtf

oooh please be yellow or somehting

OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD

''i'm not a piece of you'' THE LITTLE BITCH IS BACK !!

''clever boy'' dude wtf

yellow repaying arthur for being called ''good boy'' by him that one time

PODCAST ACHIEVEMENT!! worms obtained

yeah arthur what ARE you doing

ohhhhhhhh what did happen

this is such good horror wtf

oh ok i was just talking about this with finch but the line ''you are me screaming at me'' @ kellin who is functionally john this ep makes me think about like, how arthur and john are the same person, fundamentally

yeah why not even john?

''because'' what

WHAT DO YOU MEAN ARTHUR YOU DON'T TRUST JOHN EITHER

YES YOU'RE GOING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION PLEASE!!!!

PLEASE YES KAYNE !!

what

what is he slipping away

no

no no no he can't fracture more can he

aughhh i get why this wasnt good for april 1st

well deserved angst post fluffy eps like 29-30

yellow isnt the king sooooo

OH GOD ARTHUR THINKS HE RUINED YELLOW

THE SOUND MIXING THIS EP IS AMAZING AGHHHHH

OH NO BELLA LORE

WHERE WERE YOU ARTHUR

DANIEL???

arthur not wanting to go to the caves what happened dude

is this like omori with repressed memories oooooohhhhh

THE WRAITH !! AND THE BABY !!

GOD BLESS THIS BABY STANCZYCK

yes arthur you didnt kill this baby !! slay !

you saved it :)

this is like a mega malevolent recap

mmmmm yellow watcha doing there

YES ARTHUR YOU HAVE AGENCY

tentacles?

OH YEAH THE LAKE SORRY MY MIND WENT ..... ELSEWHERE

oh god this is so fucking well done i love this episode !!

HIS SCREAMS GAHHHHHH THE ACTING !!

OH GOD THIS SEQUENCE WAS SO GOOD

kelling as arthur subconscious is such a good literary choice

because he took the things he loved FROM HIMSELF

HE LEFT HIMSELF TO DIE METAPHORICALLY TOO

mmmmmmmmmm i fuckign love this godforsaken podcast

not a piece of media i enjoy more

hmmmm kelling being john and also a part of arthur subconscious? i was literally just thinking about this a few hours ago

the episode still has 30 more minutes i'm scared

AUGHHH THE METAPHOR OF ARTHUR BURYING HIMSLED/KELLIN/JOHN STAND-IN

go off girl about evil

you are so hot when you're smart /hj

ahhhhhh arthur trauma is so :(((((

OH GOD BABY NO HE'S SO FUCKING HUMAN

nooooo you were moving on you werent happy she died

arthur confronting his trauma is sooo

i feel so fucking bad for arthur and he isnt even real

so youre gonna sleep. in a dream. okay ig

oh wait you meant metaphorically oh ok

KELLIN (ARTHUR'S SUBCONSCIOUS) AND PAST BEING BURIED AND HIM WISHING HE FINDS HIS GIRL

DARK WORLD ARC WHEN ????

also yes i've been saying same deck of cards, two sides of the same coin

wait who

oh larson

AHHAHAHA NEW NICKNAME ''golden boy'' ''your undefeated''

oh god

yellow being yellow but john being golden

harlan guthrie you goddamns genius

john did take away everything from arthur but gold is malleable, changeable

THE POEM HE POSTED ON TWT A FEW DAYS AGO

GOLD IS NATURE'S FIRST GREEN !!

nothing gold can stay

oh god this is beautiful

fave malevolent episode EASY FOR SURE

YOU ARE CHOOSING TO STAY OR ARE LARSON AND YELLOW ACTUALLY THERE THROUGH SPOOKY MAGIC SHENANIGANS TO TORTURE HIM

arthur married and had faroe young .........

smh larson arthur is just built different and comprehends the horror

there's a beauty in horror

yeah you tell him it's not horror

flashback??

BECAUSE THEY GOT MARRIED BECAUSE THEY HAD A KID AND WEREN'T MARRIED

HE DOESNT LOVE HER

AROMANTIC FR !!!!

oh a pity fuck?? dude

hmmmmm you cant live for someone else

it's wrong? for you? oh girl you got a big storm coming

james. new character alert.

YOURE GONNA LEAVE YOU'RE WIFE AS SHE'S GIVING BIRHT?? ARTHUR NOOOO

hmmm yeah arthur kinda deserved that

OH DAMN JAMES

BELLA WASNT THE ONLY PERSON TO LOVE HIM

he has uh..... an evil eldritch monster

god arthur you idiot you deal with it and your wife dies before you get to the hospital

faroe was alone in the hospital for a goddamn hour

no larson he was feeling silly i still love him

the hour oh goddddd

he fr does not care about bella AT ALL

AJHDSFJHEFHSJDFHJDHFGKH WALLY

he really loves insulting himself

he's so me-coded

he's over this guys you heard it here first

the demon yes i forgot about it !!

YOU COMBAT IT WITH JOHN !!

LISTEN

oh faroe :(((

oh the fics that we'll get

oh god she was so little

he cared so much for faroe AGGHHHH

SHE LIKED STORIES :(((((

''are you there troll?'' I'M SOBBING FR

oh god the game

jadhkjhfhjdfj the monster

seen WHO?

JOHN?

KIY?

YELLOW?

TENDRILSSSS

oh god no don't tell me it was throat oh okay

stomach oh my fuckingggoddd what

WHAT IS HE PULLING OUT

THE INTESTINES OUCH

THEY'RESWEET

HE WANTS TO FUCKING EAT YOU

stabbing him might free himt though

he's delirius

JOHN YES FINALLY BBG YOU'RE HERE MY BABY

i fucking knew he was sleepwalking

200 years???

how old is this woman

this thing is wow

idk why i ent the whole ep thinking it was the kiy

he's going to fucking eat you

oh god oh fuck i'll cry this episode is amazing

wait what

did he fucking get a new pet

HE'S HIS FAVOURITE????

arthur's trauma was so tasty he fucking got a fan

uh oh

this isn't any good is it

YOU CALL IT MADNESS RETURN??

NO? OKAY...

okay this episode was phenonget ready for a whole new month of ranting

[klysanderelias]

I think the thing I hate about this fucking show is that it was basically tailor-made for 13 year old me, and I mean that perjoratively against the show and not myself.

It was made for a kid who could encyclopedically recite trivia that no one else remembers (such as the name of the star destroyer thrawn used a flagship, and the name of his noghri slave [which both come up in this episode]) and who read every book and wrote fanfic in his head and for whom the good guys looked like agent kallus and the bad guys looked like saw guerrera.

And that's really the problem, right? Because that's what I saw, on every TV show and every movie and the cover of every book. The good guys were white, attractive, generally male, people of my culture. And the bad guys were often aliens, depicted with sloping foreheads and big noses or enormous rotund forms like bloated slugs (literally in the case of jabba the hutt).

And I'm watching this show made for 13 year olds like me, and I'm seeing the way they treat every non-white or alien character. I'm seeing the way that Azmorigan is a slobbering fat man who buys slaves and is willing to kill and die for treasure. I'm seeing the way that Hondo Ohnaka is a backstabbing untrustworthy man with a heavy accent that COULD be some version of caribbean but DEFINITELY has a distinctly japanese name. I'm seeing the way that Sabine Wren's family is vaguely japanese and obsessed with family honor to the point of siding with the evil fascists until the brave white man(dalorian) arrives to help change their mind. I'm seeing the way that the man who lost his entire species to genocide actually DIDN'T and he even forgives the guy who did it because actually the guy who did it actually DIDN'T and even if he did he felt bad about it and besides he once saw another guy of that species do something bad once so it all evens out.

I'm seeing the way the first black character on screen is lando calrissian up to his old tricks, scamming and double-crossing the team while flirting tremendously with the women. I'm seeing the way that the SECOND black character on screen gets killed immediately in order to prove that the stakes are real. I'm seeing the way that the THIRD black character on screen is Saw Guerrera, positioned as an recalcitrant terrorist prone to violence and willing to commit genocide in order to get what he wants, until the good (white) guys talk him down and they part on uneasy terms.

And I'm like, yeah.

No wonder I was like that. No wonder so many other kids were, ARE, like that.

Because some dumb motherfucker who was that kid too is highly placed in a writing room going 'damn this agent kallus guy feels like such a cool dude. No idea why. We should make him the good guy. That just feels right, right everyone?'

'Damn this kylo ren guy feels like such a cool dude. No idea why...'

'Damn this finn guy just isn't working for me. He's too nice. He's too much of a mary sue. What if we made him a complicated, nuanced character by making him a side character with a minor plot arc, so we can bring in this kylo ren guy...'

I'm just so tired. I don't think there's a world where I get to escape this. I wish I could take a pill to turn off all my higher level brain functions to get through the fucking week.

And really the problem is I just need to balance it out. I need to watch tv that isn't made by white fanboys who've never had to interrogate their deeply-held biases. I need to read books and watch movies that are actually good.

But the problem I'm having is that it's nearly impossible for me to keep up with something that I can't talk to anyone else about. I can watch rebels because there's a podcast dissecting it in minutiae the same way I do. There's no one I can do that with for gundam (there IS a podcast but it's one of those '1 hour analysis - look inside - summary' deals).

[granolabird]

With the Stargirl finale day I'm finally doing a silly little bit that I've been meaning to do for ages,,, Here's an incorrect quotes for Stargirl characters, but only using things me and my friends have said in our group discord server.

.

Rick (speaking to Grundy): "Jesus christ dude first you lay down in the middle of the street, Now you're trying to eat KFC off the curb, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

Mike: "I love the lion king! The Rat and The Hippo make that movie"

Jakeem: "You mean the Meerkat and the Warthog??"

Courtney: "Someone on Facebook is asking where you can buy a pinata other than bulk barn."

Cindy: "The daycare. I'm sure if you hit a little kid in the stomach with a stick hard enough they'll vomit up some candy for you."

Pat: "In the words of the great Backstreet boys, Stop. Collaborate. And Listen."

Barbara: "A kid at work choked on a hotdog today."

Paula: "Did he die?"

Barbara: "No."

Paula: "Oh..... Why?"

Yolanda: "I hate neighbors. All I want to do is sit at home and practice fighting like a proper Vigilante but nooooo you gotta talk to me. Who gave you the right to live beside me? Fuck off."

Sylvester: "Listen, I told Jesus to take the wheel and he made me rich"

Beth: "Fine, okay. Maybe I'm a loveable fuzzball."

The Ultrahumanite: "Who cares about being hot when you can be a little fucking goblin in the woods."

Courtney: "The school called saying my brother sawed a chair in half"

Jordan: "I cast Norway upon thee!"

Crusher: "Murder, murder, murder, and then you get mentioned on a murder podcast!"

Cindy: "You are not at the top of the dissection list. But there is a list."

Yolanda (referring to Cameron): "He's terminally straight"

Artemis: "Take that! I just pistol whipped a bitch but with my arm!"

Deer gets hit by a car

Cameron: I wish that were me.

Jakeem: “Don’t kill me, I was born in 2012!”

Cindy: "Have you ever seen Moulin Rouge?"

Mike: "No sorry, I don't watch cartoons other than Dragon Ball Z"

Beth: What does a milliner make?

Rick: Millions.

Beth: Hats. They make hats.

[madonnamadeofasphalt]

I've been listening to a lot of Cool Zone Media podcasts lately, and I've been getting really annoyed with the rather silly misconception that these people keep repeating, which is that the Night of Long Knives was the "purge of the left wing of the Nazi Party", so bear with me, I need to write some paragraphs about it for a bit.

First of all, the idea that Ernst Röhm was on the left wing of anything is patently absurd. If anything, you could make a semi-convincing argument that he flanked the Austrian painter from the right - he believed that the "Nazi Revolution" wouldn't be complete until the German military itself wasn't fully absorbed into the party structures and integrated with the SA, and that the painter was being cowardly not to do it. Neither is it true that he was killed for being gay. He was very much gay, everybody knew and made gross jokes about it, and his "decadence" was certainly used after the fact to justify his killing, but the decision to get rid of him was pretty unambigously about the aforementioned disagreement. The painter simply wasn't quite stupid enough to not be aware that pissing off the Army was a sure way to get military couped to oblivion, and Röhm kept pissing off the Army, so Röhm needed to die.

But of course the misconception I'm talking about probably doesn't have much to do with Röhm (although his custom of fucking dudes probably adds some fuel to it). Rather, it comes from Strasser. "Strasserism" and "Strasserite" are terms that are still occasionally used today to refer to neo-Nazis and other fascists who integrate some elements of social welfarism into their belief system. And, of course, the other major Nazi who got wrecked during the Night of Long Knives was Gregor Strasser. So, Strasserite means kinda-leftie-but-still-Nazi and Strasser and his closest associates got murdered that night, means it was indeed, at least partially, the purge of the Nazi "left", right?

The one small problem with that logic is that Strasserism isn't named after Gregor Strasser. It is, in fact, named after his younger brother, Otto Strasser. Otto indeed had some pretty radical ideas by Nazi standards, such as "the factory workers might hate us a bit less if we support their right to unionize". For these ideas, he was expelled from the NSDAP in 1930, three years before Nazis came to power and four years before the Night of Long Knives. He tried running his own, welfarist Nazi party for a while, but once the Enabling Act dropped, he decided it was high time to skip the country. What's crucial about all that is that Gregor Strasser didn't leave the Nazi Party (let alone Nazi Germany) with him. In fact, he condemned and disowned his own brother, and supported his expulsion, because Nazis are, generally, spineless bitches.

So why, then, did they murder Gregor Strasser, a loyal Nazi, so devoted to the painter that he was ready to betray his own family for him? Well, it seems to boil down to the unlucky (for him) fact that on the Night of Long Knives, he happened to be in Berlin. The painter was personally leading the purge in Munich, the Nazi headquarters, while in Berlin, the death sentences were passed out by Göring and Himmler, a.k.a.: Strasser's main political rivals. He wasn't trusted enough to lead the purge (he argued with the painter a bit too much about cabinet-bulding strategy the previous year, so their relations got strained, because the painter didn't like it when people disagreed with him), so instead he ended up on the chopping block. It didn't help that one conservative made a list of potential contacts who might be swayed against the painter, and he put Gregor Strasser on that list (presumably because of the whole brother-expelling thing); that list fell into Himmler's guys' hands, and was later used as dubious proof that Strasser had been a traitor all along.

So yeah, those are the two main Nazis who got murdered on the Night of Long Knives. The rest of the victims were mostly people who were known as their close friends, followers and associates, as well as a bunch of non-Nazi conservatives who were considered a potential threat, and also a couple completely random people who got really unlucky and stumbled upon a squad of drunken SS dudes in a murdering mood. It wasn't "the purge of the left wing of the Nazi Party", it was the purge of the last few prominent German politicians who were willing to openly disagree with their silly-moustached leader on literally anything. But that doesn't really work as a snappy comparison to modern nazbols, I suppose.

[wellwrittenevilbitch]

ok i just scrolled through so much evil character propaganda just to see if anyones already submitted this one

Elias Bouchard (or rather jonah magnus since... reasons-) from the Magnus Archives!

spoilers for tma btw

someone already put jude perry but she was a side villain, this guy was the big bad of the whole thing, like, he still caused trouble when he was IN JAIL

(no picture since the only ones i could put are non-cannon fanart cuz podcast)

ok so he was first jonah magnus and dear god-

so he's the head of the Magnus Institute and he servers like this fear eldritch god that spies on people. also he stole not one, but SEVERAL people's eyes and bodies and replaced them with his own over the course of about two centuries and takes over the victm's body

he also murdered very many people and also had the bones of an old friend of his whom of which he chose not to save because he was "very close" with i htink the person who was at the cause of it (im not sure though i don't really rememebr)

also one of the murders was just. like, the dude did NOTHING to him, but he was revealing too much information to the mc so he anacted brutal pipe murder and framed the mc for it!

(this man is horrible)

he went to jail, eventually, but not before revealing that if you try to kill him, everyone who signed the contract of employment will die alongside him. as with him getting harmed in any way.

(also, the only way to escape him, because of the fear entity he serves, you have to GOUGE OUT YOUR EYES. i mean, it wasn't a him thing that caused it, of coures, it was the entity's thing, but still c'mon man)

oh and he also turned the mc into the antichrist so there's that.

this guy has committed so many atrocities im surprised no-ones submitted him yet, and the only tma character here is Jude fucking perry like-

In!

[kovacs-on-ice]

Why Halo: Reach (campaign) is a trainwreck.

A lovable trainwreck, don't get me wrong, but a trainwreck nonetheless.

So Halo Reach is one of those games that leaves a community divisive, it was the first halo game to not have a universally loved reception among the community at large. I think it's a fun game, a really fun game, I adore it's multiplayer and the hours my friends I spent dicking around in forge world. It also has the best armor system Halo's ever had to date, infinite can suck my ass--I'm not paying 15 dollars for a shader. You ain't D2, you can't pump and dump my wallet.

ANYWAY

Reach is such an interesting case, out of universe, as it feels like such an out of character move by bungie. Let's consider for a moment, that the same company that tried to stop the release of fall of reach WEEKS before it's release, was notoriously uncooperative with ensemble studios(people who made Halo Wars), who had a game director undercut the books of the series he was making(And it was Staten, if you could believe it. It's on an old 2000s podcast.) decided--"YES, LETS GO DEEP INTO THE LORE, OUR FAVORITE PART OF THIS FRANCHISE. WHILE WE'RE AT IT, LETS USE THE SPARTAN-IIIs" ?????? Does this not feel weird to anyone else?

If you look at vidocs for reach, and other behind the scenes content, it's said that they wanted to do their own thing, and ignore the books. which if that's what they want to do, sure, fuck it.

Then why did they include First Strike references (radio logs you can hear on certain levels/maps) or HAVE NOBLE TEAM BE ALL IIIS

This is the thing that gets me the most. Halo Reach, legit, feels like Bungie's last middle finger to microsoft at certain points. Reach is the home of the Spartans, well the IIs really. It's what gives the planet, and it's destruction, such significance to characters like Chief, or Fred, or any II. That was their home, that's the closest they have to a childhood burning at the stake.

So why, do tell, DID YOU MAKE NOBLE TEAM IIIs

THEY HAVE ZERO CONNECTION TO REACH

THEY GREW UP ON ONYX

What also confuses me here, is that it's not like they gave a shit about how many IIs were in Red Flag. THEY MADE THE GAMES, THATS THEIR LORE. THEY COULDVE JUST MADE UP IIs. The reason that First Strike can be such a gut punch at certain points, is because the IIs are watching their homes burning all around them, and they can do n o t h i n g about it. It's tragic, and it makes their survival in the remnants of the glassed planet even more perilous.

I love First Strike, if you couldn't tell. If Ghosts of Onyx didn't exist, it'd be the best halo book. I'm not gonna defend this opinion because it's right.

And Bungie wrote entire CVs and A FUCKING MESSAGE BETWEEN KURT AND MENDEZ in the leadup to Reach. They did all this legwork for the pay off of having characters unrelated to the conflict they were fighting.

also, I know Jorge is a II, I WILL GET TO JORGE.

Reach was planned, in development, as this giant military campaign first . Check the vidocs/behind the scenes videos, I think Marty O'Donnell is the one who says it. (also marty was the dude who had miranda and johnson die in 3, he edited that in, check the making of Halo 3. Who kept letting the audio director fuck with the script?)

There is a big, big problem with making the battle of Reach a military campaign, however.

In FOR, the kicker about the battle of reach is that it wasn't even a battle. The Covenant overwhelmed the UNSC's fleet and flooded the planet groundside, the battle was incredibly shortlived. I think only a day. Chief went from having near 30 of his siblings living and in the field, to being the only spartan in active combat.

First Strike keeps this narrative too. The Spartans never get to fight their valiant last stand. The loss of the fleet makes the different splinters of Red Team retreat to their various fallback points. Fred, Kelly and Joshua kill an invading army of covenant, sure, but the rest of the Spartans prevent were handling a variety of what-the-fucks

I do think that a theme that carries from book to game is fighting in the face of hopeless odds, which I like.

In the game, Reach is invaded by a smaller covenant fleet and ONI just....never tells the rest of the planet? It's the long night of solace, a big cloaked super carrier, and a few destroyers. (Unironically, the lore for this is that the Shipmaster of Solace came to reach on the search for forerunner artifacts, realized he was in way over his head, and just tried to get his fleet to 1-man all of reach before the prophets got too mad.

which is funny, in retrospect, because right after he eats shit--Thel shows up in the big boy fleet. I wonder how that conversation went down with the surviving officers.)

In FoR, they bring the IIs back to Reach to prep for Red-Flag and to get them the Mark V upgrade. Same thing with the pillar of autumn.

This happens by August 27th. Chief was already on the planet beforehand for a few days to debrief highcom about Sigma Octanus IV, that's beside the point. It's to be assumed that there were a sizable amount of IIs on Reach in the weeks before, since they were being pulled from a variety of fronts, and slipspace travel means everyone would've gotten there at different times. Chief was also leading a force of 12 Spartans at Sigma Octanus IV, the battle right before reach, so I assume they came with him.

August 30th---OOPS, ALL COVENANT

The battle starts as FoR-First Strike say it does on the 30th, AND THAT SAME FUCKING DAY THE PLANET IS LOST.

---------

In Reach, the game, the covenant were found on reach JULY 24TH. THAT IS WHEN THEY PRESS THE "OH FUCK, WINTER CONTIGENCY" BUTTON. If you go by the game, it seems like there's just all out warfare across the planet after that point. The mission after is Noble Team defending Castle Base from a Covenant Corvette (also, like, it's goofy as fuck to think that no one outside the select military participating in these engagements did not, or hear about, the giant space marine animal firing death from above. I doubt the covenant gave a shit about which humans they turned to ash knew about them, after their presence was found out.)

So most of Reach's Campaign happens, including the huge fucking battle at Szurdok Ridge. You know the battle that had scarabs and scorpion tanks casually duking it out in the background, same battle that they used a MAC round in atmosphere in?

By August 13th, 60 percent of the UNSC fleet is recalled to defend reach. Not too long after that, Noble Team kills the super carrier. Then what I assume is Thel's fleet shows up as in the cutscene it shows a massive fleet entering the system immediately after the solace's destruction. After that is the battle of new alexandria, which ends august 23rd.

The game and the book link up on August 30th, as Noble team delivers the other half of cortana. (Halsey split her into two so she could continue her forerunner research, also, halsey never talks about meeting Noble Team in First Strike. Jun literally escorted her to Castle Base. In her journals that came with Reach's deluxe edition, I think there is a few pages of her freaking the fuck out about them. Not-so-concidentally Eric Nylund also wrote that Journal.)

343 tried to link the game and book stories together, and the result was--

Oni predicted there was a 67% of reach being found, just let it happen, no I am not joking.

The battle of reach up until where FoR picks up is just on one side of the planet, somehow they contain it so the planet doesn't freak out. I do not know how, the covenant were fucking EVERYWHERE.

ONI also let the long night of solace pally about, they were mad when Noble Team blew it to high hell because they wanted to use it for Red Flag.

THEY BROUGHT ALL THE IIs BACK TO REACH, MID INVASION, AND JUST DIDN'T TELL THEM UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE???? ALSO, IF THE PLANET WAS BEING INVADED BY THE COVENANT, WHY DID YOU NOT USE ONE OF THE MANY ORBITAL MAC CANNONS.

This is a GOOFY retcon, I swear to god.

It takes them like, an entire fucking month, to get the fleet to Reach. I'd also like to mention, KEYES LEAVES THE BATTLE AND LANDS ON REACH SO HE CAN PICK UP CORTANA FOR THE LAST MISSION. CHIEF WAS LITERALLY NAPPING DURING THIS. I'M SURE HE WOULD'VE LOVED TO HELP NOBLE SIX AND EMILE OUT IF THEY WOKE HIM THE FUCK UP.

@zitasaurusrex

I apologize if this was hard to read, and tbh I probably also missed stuff li-WAIT I FORGOT

IN HALO REACH THEY HAVE A SEVEN PART RADIO MESSAGE STORY ABOUT BETA RED, SPLIT ACROSS FIREFIGHT AND MULTIPLAYER MAPS. THE SPARTANS WHO WERE LEFT TO DEFEND THE GENERATORS. THEY'RE CHATTING ABOUT THEM AS THEY'RE PUNCHING UP TO THESE TANK SQUADRONS BAREHANDED. BUNGIE, BUNGIE, THIS IS ALREADY A MESS, WHY ARE YOU INCLUDING THIS. Edit: I realize I never got to Jorge. I think it's stupid to have Jorge be in noble team because it SHOWS they thought about the concept of what reach being invaded would mean to a II. They just didn't care enough to expand on it in any substantial way.

[serve-update]

Lala Kent Net Worth: Is She Not Feeling The Hype Over Ozempic?

Giving birth to the expression "Give Them Lala," Lala Kent first gained notoriety on Bravo's "Vanderpump Rules." She has subsequently established herself as a hugely successful media figure. Her ambitious, amusing, and talented nature has helped her amass a sizable following all over the world. This slogan opened the path for her beauty empire, Give Them Lala Beauty. Lala is an actress who most recently portrayed the title character in the Lionsgate horror movie "The Row." She will also be seen in the upcoming heist movie "Vault." In previous movies including "Dudes & Dragons," "Pitching Love and Catching Faith," "One Shot," and "The Mentor," she also had significant roles. In 2018, Lala's smash song "Boy" topped the Electronic genre charts on iTunes. Hurry and check out Lala Kent's net worth! Time is ticking, so don't miss out on this chance!

Lala Kent Net Worth

The American entertainment sector has seen some success for Lala Kent, a very accomplished woman. She started her career back in 2009, and her acting accomplishments propelled her to fame very quickly. She was able to join hundreds of programs and films, giving her notoriety and exposure around the world. Later, Kent made the decision to become a model, and thanks in large part to her attractiveness, she was able to outperform many rivals. Due to the publication of her book, Give Them Lala, and a podcast with the same name in 2021, Lala Kent gained notoriety once more. Lala Kent's current net worth is $5 million.

Lala Kent Net Worth Read More: - Ritchie Valens Net Worth: How Did He Die? & What Is His Causes Of Death? - Brandi Carlile Net Worth: At A Surprise Event, Brandi Carlile Spoke With Meghan Markle And Prince Harry For A Long Time!

Lala Is Not Feeling The Hype Over Ozempic

Lala Kent and Scheana Shay are courageously declaring their opposition to the Olympics, following in the footsteps of fellow Bravolebrity Kyle Richards (at least for weight loss). At the season 10 premiere of their reality series, the Vanderpump Rules stars were questioned about their opinions on the popular weight-loss medicine that was once used to treat diabetes. And they showed no hesitation. "Stop using it to lose weight. Already enough," Kent said to People. "Hollywood, in my opinion, is totally screwed up. https://twitter.com/BravoTV/status/1623515025452441606 We must perform better. Despite being advertised as a medication to assist treat Type 2 diabetics, Ozempic has reportedly become more and more popular in Hollywood as a weight-loss treatment, along with other injectable medications like Wegovy and Mounjaro. Recently, Chelsea Handler discussed her use of the medicine Ozempic, commonly known as semaglutide, telling Call Her Daddy that she had given the drug to five of her friends.

Lala Is Not Feeling The Hype Over Ozempic The medication has also recently come under criticism for potential side effects such as severe nausea and weight gain after use. When I roll my eyes and say, "Fucking do better, all of us," Kent said, "I think there are a lot of things that need to change and it starts with us." Spread the word to your fam, peep Serve Update for the latest updates! Read the full article

[cakeofthepan]

Congrats to Will for achieving 2 of the greatest achievements in life, becoming a father and murdering Freddie Wong.

[Audio Transcript:

[Rhythmic clacking music plays]

Will: Hey everyone, I’m Will Campos I play Normal Oak, a mixed-up mascot kid who doesn’t know who he is anymore. Teen fact this week about Normal, this one’s for you Freddie

Freddie: Yay!

Will: That raccoon that Normal found, that he befriended a couple of teen facts ago, it’s actually not a racoon it’s a goingondog.

[music cuts out]

Freddie: What’s a goingondog?

Beth: oohhhhhh

Will: [extremely pleased with himself] Not much dog, what’s a going on with you bitch?

Freddie: [screams in agony]

[crab rave starts playing]

Matt: [laughing] are you serious? Did you seriously fall for that?

Anthony: [overlapping] Did you seriously fall for that? You actually fell for that?

Beth: [overlapping] I can’t- I can’t believe you-

Freddie: [overlapping] you BITCH

Will: [full on cackling]

Matt: Are you serious?

Anthony: Oh my god, Freddie is full on doing the Evangelion Shinji like doubled over in his chair clutching his head.

Beth: Oh No!

Will: [still cackling]

Freddie: [screams in agony again]

Anthony: He literally looks like he has to go pilot the Eva right now

Will: YESSS

Anthony: I can’t believe that

Freddie: Aaaaaa what

Matt: Will- Will, you found his perfect weakness, you found like a moment when his defenses were down

Anthony: Oh my god

Will: I, alright, so here’s the real story, I became a-

Freddie: GODDAMN IT

Will: [laughs]

Anthony: How did you fall for it?

Matt: How did you fall for that?

Freddie: [yelling] I don’t know, I don’t know, it was a moment of weakness, Jesus Christ

Anthony: Oh man

Will: [laughs] so um, here’s the story of that dad fact. Last month, I became a father. My wife and I had our beautiful baby boy Andy. He’s doing well, everyone’s doing great. I have been thinking about what my dad fact was gonna be for a month straight while sleep deprived and pacing around back and forth. And I was like, I feel like I’ve got one chance here to really pull something over on somebody. And I thought of this goingondog thing, I was like wait a sec. Cuz Freddie updogged me

Matt: Mmm Hmmm

Will: two decades ago I swear to god. Ten year- twelve years ago

Matt: Oh my god

Beth: Damn

Will: He got me with just straight up updog and I was like, I will have my revenge one day

Freddie: Wait do you remember that? I don’t remember that

Will: I had never heard updog before, and then you just updogged me and then everyone laughed at me and I’ve been holding a grudge-

Anthony: The day Freddie updogged you was the most important day of your life. To him it was Tuesday

Freddie: [laughing] For me it was a Tuesday

Will: And I was like, I bet my first fact back everyone’s gonna be wondering what it is, he’s gonna say something about having a kid. And then I’m like, oh wait, I’ll call Freddie out specifically, I’ll reel, I’ll reel him in.

Freddie: Oh what, that’s the move. That was the move. That’s what got me dude

Beth: Damn

Will: Yeah, so I don’t know. Anyway, I can die now I’m quitting the podcast. Goodbye

Anthony: Wow

Freddie: Fuck, bro. Just like fucking James Earl Jones used to say dude, the circle is now complete

Matt: I just watched an assassination. You know like, one of those videos that nobody moves. Like, we all just sat here just watched Freddie get murdered.

Will: [laughs] one of those 3 seconds before disaster happened videos. Anyway

Freddie: Holy shit. Do I need to turn back in my podcaster card?

Beth and Matt: I think so

[laughter]

Freddie: Do I need to go back to the podcasters guild and tell them that I’ve been forcibly ejected by an updog joke?

Beth: Hi

Freddie: [screams]

Beth: Hi

Freddie: Fuck you Will

Will: Hi Beth, how are you?

[music fades out]

Anthony: Roll stealth with disadvantage Taylor

Freddie: Taylor’s just so pumped at the idea that there was a ghost

Will: Taylor Swift really wondering if uhh we’re uhh out of the woods yet

Beth: Mmmmmm

Freddie: don’t ugh Will

Will: Did you hear her new song hey what’s up dog?

Freddie: Go fuck yourself

Beth: Freddie says it smells like wrong dog in here

Anthony: Freddie, you wanna roll to bofa?

End Transcript]

[krystal-prisms]

My favorite and most interesting YouTube channels, not that anybody asked or really cares

True crime related:

Bailey Sarian: she does her makeup while talking about true crime and stuff, she's super funny and her stories sound like your bestie sharing hot gossip with you while still being super respectful. She also does Dark History, which is super interesting and she really does her research.

Eleanor Neale: another really interesting and respectful YouTuber, her stories are also really well researched and she does lots of stories from around the world and does lots of lesser known cases.

MrBallen: he does a variety of stories about the "strange, dark and mysterious", not just true crime, but also Missing 411, Places You Can't Go But People Went Anyways, some history, lots of things. He's a great storyteller, and his like button jokes are stellar. This man has cured me of any and all desire to ever go cave diving.

Science

NileRed/NileBlue/NileRed shorts: does a ton of cool chemistry things, a bit more on the complicated and technical side, but still interesting even if you know nothing about chemistry. Unfairly smart. Sixpenceee steals his videos all the time

TheBackyardScientist and Allen Pan: classic cases of Smart People Do Stupid Shit, more physics and engineering related with some chemistry. Case of can we do it, without thinking should we do it. Do not try at home. These guys are gonna die so much. TheBackyardScientist is the literal definition of Florida Man.

Simone Giertz: like the above point, very very smart, uses it for chaos. At first I thought she was more chill and less Unhinged than Allen Pan and BackyardScientist, she's exactly on their level, maybe even more chaotic. Love her.

I did a thing: again, smart person makes stupid things, just for the fun of it, he's even more chaotic than the above channels, if that's even possible, he makes lots of cool stuff, and does some other miscellaneous things to. Honestly, this dude shouldn't be alive.

Styropyro: epitome of Don't Try This At Home. Makes really neat lasers, and his entire channel is full of bad ideas. Again, super smart, and uses it to cause problems on purpose. More physics and engineering based again, with a heavy focus on building the most dangerous things possible.

Brave Wilderness: more of an educational channel geared towards younger audiences, but still interesting. Coyote Peterson, you know, the dude who keeps getting stung by the most painful bugs in the world. On purpose. Wildlife education.

Creative

Royalty Soaps: she makes the most delightful cold processed soaps, she has her own small business, and is such a delight to listen to, her soaps are amazing and she has a fantastic personality.

How To Cake It: one of those cake that doesn't look like cake channels, she again has a delightful personality and is super talented at baking.

Amaury Guichon: the fucking chocolate guy

SimplyNailogical/HoloTaco: alleged nail art channel, but she doesn't really do nail art anymore, but she does have her own nail polish brand, and has super neat polishes, she also has a podcast and a streaming channel, her cats are delightful.

The Modern Goldsmith: he makes the coolest jewelry and also reacts to celebrity wedding/engagement rings and stuff, his work is super cool and he's really talented.

Tipsy Bartender: you know those videos of the Why The Hell Would You Drink This, Potion Of Liver Failure drinks, yeah that's him. He is hilarious, and makes the most bonkers drinks.

RandomHands: he makes the neatest weapons out of random junk, his stuff is super cool and it's crazy how he can make an entire katana put of an old rusty rifle barrel. There's also cats

Kiwami japan: like RandomHands but so much more unhinged. He's crazy smart and talented, and uses that for chaos. He makes bonkers sharp kitchen knives out of the most random materials. His more recent Videos are a special kind of unhinged. He sharpened jello. I both fear and respect this man.

The Piano Guys: they are very talented musicians, and do great covers and also original works, and their shorts are hilarious.

Miscellaneous

Nile Wilson, Luke Stoney and Ash Watson: retired Olympic gymnasts who now use their gymnastics skills to do chaos. They all have vlog channels and do things like gymnastics challenges and Gymnasts Try (insert activity, like ballet, diving, figure skating etc). They're super chaotic and funny.

Watcher: you know, Ryan and Shane from BuzzFeed unsolved, they do a variety of things, and have their own tumblr blog @wearewatcher. I also refuse to believe that the professor is actually dead.

Karolina Zebrowska: she does like historical fashion things, she makes her own historical clothes, and talks about the costumes in shows and stuff, she is super sassy and has the best personality. She also makes hilarious short videos.

Tasting History with Max Miller: he makes vintage and ancient recipes and tries them out, while also giving a vaguely related history lesson. He's like a chilled out version of B Dylan Hollis's tiktok.

LockPickingLawyer: I mean, as it says, this guy picks locks, he shows how to pick a variety of locks with a variety of methods, and as soon as I have free time, I am definitely gonna use this knowledge for evil.

Ok so these are all the channels I'm obsessed with at the moment, and if you're bored and looking for something interesting, I definitely recommend looking up these channels.

[windlion]

Malevolent screamalong, part 7! Eps 20-22

Let's head into the creepy city that's probably full of cultists for the guy we're trying to avoid, that sounds like a plan, right?

All right with an episode title like the King and heading straight into the City, I am waiting for John 1.0 to show up. The Hive Mother. Senor Amarillo.

Side-note: I have no idea if King in Yellow is an existing Lovecraftian reference or something new because I am not quite *that* far down the uh. I was about to say tentacle rabbit hole but that is SOMETHING ELSE entirely. I am not that well steeped in the Cthulhu mythos.

"Subtlety is not our strength." No shit!

Arthur do you remember that John is le fucked if you are le fucked?

I hope you guys are talking in your head because otherwise you're SUPER conspicuous.

LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR~~~~

and John all "I am taking psychic damage, this is gnarly"

OH that can't possibly be a ~blatant trap~ could it?

Yeah, safe to say, that this guy is *not all there*

I was almost betting this guy would be also Arthur, doppelganger

"The heart of Hastur" *side-eyes John*

*eyes emoji*

"Through trial and tribulations (though not my own)" XD XD XD

I kind of love this asshole

"Lilith you bitch" *snerk*

I could 100% imagine Taliesin voicing this guy

Cain, okay, Cain, that's my new Asshat, I look forward to his sudden but inevitable betrayal

"All right, time to dick around and do all the side quests"

. . . Does the Dog Die Dot Com

*dirty glares at podcast author* NOT KOSHER

So Arthur had a sibling???

I imagine this would be a pretty bitching movie game pre-battle sequence

"Unscathed?!" I would have pointed at the crippling guilt and depression first

King, buddy, are you *jealous*?

And now, fun times!

. . . I'm not surprised things went that way

Yeah I'm kinda okay with not having THAT narrated. And now it's time for Cain to do his thing!

"We were in an accident" No, actually nothing about that was an accident

Arthur, dude, why did you even try that

I guess that was a . . . human stress reaction, but still, you know the deal you made, Arthur, why would you think there's any wiggle room

It is fun having this rerun with the balance of power reversed, I'm more invested in this dynamic

"What did you do?!"

"You weren't this difficult the first time"

It is fun having John being all "What the actual fuck happened to you"

"Than you could ever be" - Arthur, you're being judgy

And then the changeover to calling him Yellow~

Hmm

"Run" That is quite possibly the worst move you can make

Arthur you do kinda owe Yellow that apology

"The Red Right Hand" oh that's not ominous

And suddenly terrible second-hand embarrassment

*Cringing*

Goddamnit you disasters definitely shouldn't be out in public

Okay I'm not sure if this is point for or against them being a cult

*CRINGE INTENSIFIES*

Ohhhh my god okay the "people are WATCHING" is more anxiety inducing than anything else

and Yellow has a thing for dancing???

If you think animals don't have hope you have never had a dog deeply intensely yearning for your dinner

Ah and there's the name drop

(Fun fact: my high school made us recite that poem our senior year so I recognized it)

And oh ho, I see that that little hat-tip (Is there hope? Who knows!)

Next ep! I guess this is a flashback?

Yellow, deadpan, reciting the damages of the night before

"YES OKAY please stop"

Arthur, you could stop bullshitting unnecessarily

. . . . Deeeeeep sighs and we're back to the see-saw

OH actual progress, good job, Arthur!

Yellow all "You wanted a relationship?"

"Because I didn't want to be an asshole"

Cleanliness is next to godliness and dear god did you need that

Oh hey we found the cults!

Yellow "Uh shit that's BIG I don't want to fuck with that should have picked a bigger body to occupy"

I was wondering about the snowshoes

Yellow all "I DON"T KNOW ABOUT THESE HUMAN THINGS"

I'm with Arthur in the "Knowledge is power!"

So they delved too deeply here

Whomever lived here is dead because you need their loot and are terrible at interacting with living creatures, see: negative charisma score

Ohhhh that was exactly the wrong direction wasn't it

Monch and cronch time

And there we go again~~~

I am going to be smart-ish and stop here for the time being because I bet the next lot are going to run together, so we'll leave Arthur being nommed on. He's had worst resting spots. He'll be fiiiiine.

[hopefulstarfire]

Alright so the Gotham Historian podcast is still happening. It's not gonna be a high quality high budget thing unfortunately its essentially me w my own lil recording app just yammering away about Batman 😂.

The first scripts almost done. It was gonna be shorter and then I found something interesting so now it's gonna be longer and it'll be discussing Batmans very first appearance ever, Detective Comics #27.

The second script I'm trying to pull in as much research as I can for it because it's about the early publication history and creation of Batman. It will namely be focused on Bill Finger and some of the other contributors, such as Jerry Robinson, and not so much on Bob Kane. Because Bob Kane got over 70 years of the spotlight to himself for essentially just being the salesman for Batman while everyone else did all the work. I will have rants about this.

Third episode will be all about explaining the Bat Familys various members, how it came to be, and even some looks at the Wayne family tree itself.

Fourth episode will be about Batmans Rogues Gallery. And, yes, you will be hearing so much about Lord Death Man, because goddamnit he gives me so much seratonin in the midst of my major depression. I fucking love Larry.

Fifth episode will be dedicated to both mapping out Gotham, explaining Wayne Industries a bit more and also going into some of the different Batman gadgets. It's the catch all episode for that.

After those episodes, I have ideas, just figuring out the episode order, but it'll be going across just all sorts of different topics and if anyone wants anything specific I will absolutely do it.

For now, some of the ones I know I'm gonna be talking about are

An entire in depth episode for a milestone talking about Pre/Post Crisis Jason, leading up to his death and everything around A Death in the Family, and about how he wasn't the angry asshole or "little snot" that his writers at the time tried to say he was.

The wildest Batman controversies, and, yes, The Selfish Lover one is at the top of that list.

Some different storylines across the Batfamily and their villains, such as Tower of Babel, Long Halloween, We Are Robin, Year One, etc.

The best episodes of BTAS.

Debating on if i just want to make a really long post about why Lego Batman and Mask of the Phantasm are the best theatrically released Batman films (with the Burton films being just right behind them) or if I should do it for the podcast.

The issue where Bruce got to save his parents.

The issue where Batman wanted to lobotomize the Joker.

The importance of Oracle.

How I would do a Batfam series of cinematic or television releases.

The Himbo Bruce Wayne Argument. I do briefly talk about it in the first episode. There will be an entire episode dedicated to this because I will die on this hill.

Probably the best episodes or highlights of the different movie and tv show adaptations of the Batfam or those moments that really hit hard. I probably won't touch on the Nolan films or Pattinsons Batman bc I don't like them and I don't really feel like just sitting there talking about shit that I don't like bc others like them and thats okay find your enjoyment wherever you can dudes.

Also don't really wanna talk about Tom King and Devin Grayson, because they have both pulled so much fuckshit with their runs and I just

Different episodes going more in depth into specific characters beyond just my explanations in the 3rd and 4th episodes; such as deeper dives into Dukes powers and also where his story can take him, finding identity with Tim (since the writers cannot figure out what his hero name is anymore and also lets not forget btas just making him jason with tims name and costume), Harleys character growth, why Two Face would make for an infinitely better archnemesis for Batman than the Joker, etc etc.

WAYNE FAMILY ADVENTURES MY BELOVED.

I got a ton more but those are just some of what I've been thinking of and again if anyone wants a specific topic I am more than happy to talk about it. But just know that it is on the way and I'm just excited to be able to share thoughts and information with everyone because Batmans been my favorite thing since I was at least 3 years old.

[incurablyromanticsblog]

Ok I'll liveblog

EPISODE 9: THE FAMILY BUSINESS

SPOILERS BELOW!!

The yellow color filter, very nostalgic and hitting me like a goddamn brick after the blue one

Aw fuck not clowns

They really just gave michael a pastel shirt and said do your thing and nothing else

He looks his age not 10-20 years before

But then again there was the wig in the og series

DANIEL LICHT'S THEMESSS

He's wearing the henley my dudes

HES TELLING IT TO HARRISON???

The Aspect Ratio Change!!!

Harrison finished dexters sentences!!

"why are we like this" brb crying

"you too?"

Aw fuck man this is emotional

"Instead he gave me the code" jury's still out on harry won't lie

Look into the cameraaaaa

Debs reaction to 'i would never hurt family'

Why the clown look like joaquin one phoenix he a good dude

The clown saying what the fuck is funny

RED NOSED DEXTER

THE BLOOD THEME

He's gonna say kill He's gonna say kill He's gonna say kill

'I confront them' oh god oh god

I love the taking to the camera thing

'You tell harrison you kill people there's no going back' NO THERES NOT

He didn't tell?, HE DIDNT TELL????

'you're like batman' 'i prefer the dark defender'

The love in dexter's eyes I'm gonna die

HES GETTING ELRICS BODY THANK GOD IVE BEEN SO WORRIEd

Dexter's so happy I'm laughing

He's scared to kill say trinity or arthur

'at least elric's frozen, no bloody mess' BRIAN CALLBACK BUT I STILL WANT MY NAME DROP OR HALLUCINATION

Oh COME ON not angela comparing the needle marks. Look I get the suspicion I do, but like whats with the supercop stuff. She's comparing the two needle punctures, like for us it's obviously- you know what I'm not talking about this

Dexter what did you get him

Please don't be a gun

Scarf and A HENLEY????

That looks like a rifle

It's a rifle, the one he has while he ran with the deer

Redneck energy won't lie

'guns are loud messy'

'all the guys at school have guns' oh my god what is wrong america

Aww son and father bonding over guns (👀👀👀👀)

Please no

This is alternative to the kurt scene no?

Yea just drop the kurt being a killer bomb

Vigilante shit

"ask me what the plan is" dammit dexter get your head in the game

HARRISON GAVE HIM A DRAWING OF DEBRA

Oh my god

Michael c hall is so good please

Tradition I've been doing???

Why did harrison make that face

ITS AN UGLY SWEATERRRR

Aww both angela and dex lying to each other a dexter tradition for sure

In front of your parents?????

Dex gave her a POLICE HANDBOOK THAT'S INSULTING

KURT????

Oh fuck

Oh my god, the implications

SERIAL KILLER OFF

Not the GUN SIGN

IN FRONT OF HER MOM??

The example being wiggles is so funny cause they keep saying wiggles in a serious tone

She went to the vet didn't she

Oh fuck not the ketamine

The drone???

Harrison looks sad

He's confessing about ethan

Dexter is smiling???about ethan??

Fantasies about Hunting down the trinity killer

Oh fuck, dexter don't-

Dexter doing the right thing is so weird

How is the drone working so well in snowfall

First rule don't get caught

Ok angela is listening to the BHB podcast

She didn't say love ya back that's so funny

Ok kurt cleaning his guns with the song

The song is a banger won't lie

"I wanna help him"

"There were alternatives" get his ass

I WANNA HELP HIM?!?

Whose side are you on??

Dexter sounds like he's convincing himself

'And you fucking love it' GET HIS ASSS

Audrey scaring angela please

Oh fuck molly's on voicemail

She dead

Kurts gasing dexter's cabin???

Merry Christmas jimbo this is so funny

Oh shit

HES LIGHTING IT

Kurt is going to die this episode I know it

What's is up with the gun? They'll find the gunshot wound and they'll know it was murder

Buggy in the snow leaves tracks you idiots

Both killers trying to kill each other irony at it's peak

Father teaches son to break locks bonding moments!!!

Dex triggered the alarm

God when Kurt breathes heavily I think of mr krabs

Ohh the container is underground

Embalming items ok

Oh fuck

Dollboxes DOLLBOXES

Trophies are the bodies obviously

This shit terrifying

He's out make up on all of them and dressed them in virginal white dresses

MOLLY DEAD

You killed wiggles didn't you

Please dont

I did

I took care of arthur mitchell too+_+

Catch me crying and angry

FOREHEAD KISS

Ok so angela is onto molly disappearing

Kurts back

He's running

Ok I think kurt is gonna kill angela tbh

Oh god

THEY GOT KURT

Angela is gonna catch them in the act??

Harrison is taking too well to this tbh

Dexter had the code developed through years

'How many times have you done this' 'in the 100s'

'youve saved 1000s of people?' oh god

It's as if they're euthanizing an animal

'Hey you got me'

'no, I saved them!'

'i told you no dad shit!' I'm laughing so much

Ok dexter and harrison pale in comparison to kurt

Dexter's smile he's so happy

'This wasn't about saving them this was about power'

'you deserve to die'

He's making dex jealous of the time I spent with harrison

Oh shit

'Some kinda bullshit justice code?'

'Like father like son' and focus shifting to harrison

Crying and throwing up

'you don't have to watch' gotta love a consensual king

He's cutting up kurt in front of harrison

And harrison is into it???

Is he???

They're not making it clear???

Harrison is going to have a panic attack

He's having a flasback

Oh god

Harrison isn't as fucked up oh my god

OR IS HE??

blood moon

Dexter pulled out the heftys ok

Dexter's goin too fast for harrison

Burning the bodies

Too soon dex

'thats how it works' but It doesn't have to

Ok so but it doesn't seem like dexter and harrison will get caught

Poor angela, hope she lives

The 'yep' in unison

Poor angela

Breakfast wizard

'Jim lindsay killed matt cladwell'

And the screws

Ok so...

Angela girl what you gon do?

End credits

Gonna wait for the preview for the finale too

DEXTER IS ARRESTED

VOICEOVER OF HIM SAYING YOU'LL SEE WHAT EVIL LOOKS LIKE

Ok so theory for ep 9:

Harrison will feel the dark urge but he'll understand that it's not right

Dexter will get caught (not killed)

The cycle will end it cannot continue the writers cannot do that they really cannot.

Clyde Philips has always been against it

either Harrison will turn dexter in and dexter will betrayed and fully lose it

Or harrison will die and dexter will fully lose it

Dexter dying and harrison either losing it or going on with the code is too much a 'plot decision'

Or a classic murder-suicide but most likely from harrison