#and the first thing this dude did in the podcast was FUCKING DIE

[trustypaladin]

Partners...

[moonshynecybin]

as we round the year out i need your top 3 marc 2024 moments. only 3 no more

number three that first comeback ride in le mans where he qualified like genuine dog dookie and my ass was used to the FLOPS over in f1 gaining back like two places IFFF they pitted well and the toronto maple leafs who roll over and die if you’re even slightly fucking mean to them and THENNN he put it p3 :) and i was like well that was fun but surely he can’t do it again. surely that was a one off. and then he put it p2 the next day (marc voice i couldn’t understand why pecco wasn’t trying to overtake martin? so i just overtook HIM :3) and then he did that eight more times over the course of the season to insanity inducing effect but the like. initial and novel disbelief that someone could even DO something like that let alone regularly was awesome. they don’t call em aliens for nothing

number TWO ducati seat everything. game of thrones but only one guy seems to be aware that he’s playing. the whole saga dug into a lot of the stuff i really like about marc in terms of his ability to just make shit happen for himself and bend reality to his will. all my podcasts talking about how getting yourself in the best competitive situation possible (ie bike and team) is half the battle when accruing championships and how (peter bom voice) the REALLY special guys can just do that…. marc truly a dude who will blow up your shit to get what he wants and be entirely darling and entirely unapologetic about it. like the absolute euphoria of his dumbass hail-mary plan working and him scaring the SHIT out of everyone at ducati was simply very fun to see. kudos to this one for the pure drama of the reversal and martin signing with aprilia as the reveal

NUMBER ONEEEEEEEE him doing a stripper dance in front of my own human eyeballs i experienced a sort of hysteria in that moment that i have felt in very few situations in my life i think it was my favorite thing to happen to me this year full stop. i told like eighteen people. i told my boss.

[kpopsexstories]

Kissing Booth Ep. 2 – Jisung jealously watches Chenle have sex with a girl

‘Kissing Booth’ is a fictional podcast hosted by boyfriends Chenle and Jisung. In it they discuss love, sex and relationships. This Kissing Booth Tumblr series is excerpts from the couple's most sexual conversations on the show.

EPISODE 2: JEALOUS

Chenle: Have you ever been jealous of me?

Jisung: Never. You're not that big of a deal.

Chenle: *Pfft* I got more Instagram followers than you.

Jisung: Do you? Are you sure?

Chenle: Yeah! Of course I'm sure. Why do you never believe me?

Jisung: You're not the most reliable person…

Chenle: Let me rephrase. Have I ever made you jealous?

Jisung: Yeah. Lots of times. There was a period when I couldn't even stand another person looking at you. You're mine!

Chenle: So possessive. That's usually my style.

Jisung: You like it though. I don't know, you're a possessive boyfriend that's for sure, but I think in the right circumstances I'm even worse.

Chenle: Like when?

Jisung: Remember Lea?

Chenle: Ah, Lea! Now that was good sex!

Jisung: Fuck you! It was average at best.

Chenle: How would you know?

Jisung: …

Chenle: What?

Jisung: *Smirks*

Chenle: Whaat?

Jisung: I was jealous, okay! We should never have been on that stupid break. You made my heart ache.

Chenle: I love it when you're jealous.

Jisung: I was sooo jealous, I'm not ashamed to admit it. I know she was your childhood love but you were mine and I hated her.

Chenle: You don't hate her. Besides you she's still my best friend.

Jisung: I know, I don't hate her now. But back then I did.

Chenle: So… How would you know if our sex was good? What haven't you told me?

Jisung: Don't kill me okay?

Chenle: What? Just tell me!

Jisung: I heard you. I got curious. So I snuck in.

Chenle: Lol, what the hell?

Jisung: Hey, it's not my fault you didn't lock the freakin’ door! And I can't believe you didn't notice me. I snuck in and hid in the closet. I saw the whole thing. No way some girl was gonna take my baby from me and violate him without my consent.

Chenle: I can't believe you're telling me this now, live on air. I had no idea!

Jisung: Yeah, you didn't. Because I'm awesome.

Chenle: And jealous?

Jisung: So jealous! When I first heard you guys it felt like I was gonna die. When I saw your cute little but on top of her I wanted to scream. But then it got kinda exciting.

Chenle: Please don't tell me you…

Jisung: I did.

Chenle: IN MY CLOSET?

Jisung: In your underwear actually. I didn't have any tissues.

Chenle: WHILE WATCHING MY GIRLFRIEND?

Jisung: She wasn't your girlfriend.

Chenle: But we were on a break!

Jisung: Worst time of my life.

Chenle: I fucking love you.

Jisung: …

Chenle: Lol, I can't believe you did that!

Jisung: And I'm telling you, you weren't that great.

Chenle: Oh shut up.

Jisung: You sort of just lay there…

Chenle: I was enjoying it. It was nice to be the top for once.

Jisung: I don't think you call it that when it's with a girl.

Chenle: Whatever. But was I really that bad?

Jisung: No, you were freakin’ hot baby. The way your little ass moved up and down. It made me so hard.

Chenle: Thank you. That's what I want to hear.

Jisung: …but I don't think Lea would agree. She didn't seem that into it.

Chenle: Oh fuck you.

Jisung: *Winks* Any time.

Chenle: Well at least you were jealous. That's all that matters to me.

Jisung: So jealous babe. Promise me you'll never do that to me again.

Chenle: Promise me you won't sneak into my room when I'm having sex.

Jisung: I don't need to.

Chenle: Yes you do or we're over.

Jisung: No, because I'm already in the room with you, stupid.

Chenle: Right. I didn't like that break either. Promise we'll never break up again?

Jisung: Why should I?

Chenle: The only one you can have sex with ever again is me okay?

Jisung: Hmm, I'm not sure I can promise that. What if I have a Lea in my life too?

Chenle: Jisung Park! Promise me!

Jisung: Why? Jealous much?

Chenle: Whatever dude. I didn't sneak into your room.

Jisung: Ehm, that's not true!

Chenle: When?

Jisung: Like all the time when we were trainees.

Chenle: Oh, right. Yeeah, I did do that a lot didn't I?

Jisung: All the freakin’ time.

Chenle: And I was great wasn't I?

Jisung: The best! So horny. We were so inexperienced back then but laying there secretly touching each other felt really good. Makes my heart flutter just thinking about it.

Chenle: I guess it was always better with you.

Jisung: Because I'm jealous and possessive?

Chenle: Because I love you. I don't actually want you to ever feel jealous. I love you too much to want to hurt you like that. I'm sorry.

Jisung: It's alright. Like I said, Lea didn't think you were that good anyway so I'm not worried.

Chenle: Whatever dude.

[goodluckclove]

Movie Night With Your Eccentric Older Brother Simulator (Free Weird Movies Recs)

So I've always had a vague awareness of the archetype surrounding an Alt Older Brother who introduces you to weird media. I have no real-life frame of reference for this person. While I was close to my actual older brother for a long time, I don't think he introduced me to much.

But after finding that list of free movies and realizing the link to Evil Dead II was a podcast video about the movie as opposed to the actual movie, I decided to put together my own list of cult/weird movies. Nothing too intense. It's got some horror, but it's not all horror. Consider this a way to LARP a kind of skeevy older brother with a strange inner world who you idolize despite him clearly not doing super great right now. He loves you in a weird, scruffy way that he doesn't like to talk about in precise language.

(EDIT: Also I did go out of my way to pick kind of shitty VHS rips for some of these. I do consider them the ideal way to view them. For immersion's sake.)

Uh, hey man. So Mom and Dad left for some fuckin' - I don't know, I still had half my headphones on so I wasn't really paying attention. But they're gone for the night and I guess I'm in charge or whatever. They said I could use their card to order pizza which is pretty sick. I'll order one for each of us, and then I'll just hole up in the basement to listen to The Flower Kings and -

What? You wanna hang out?

No, that's - yeah, I guess I did make a face. My bad. Um, sure I can hang. I know you've been kind of bummed lately. I guess we could watch a movie if you want. No, dude, step the fuck away from the DVD shelf. If I have to watch Click one more goddamned time I'm gonna' blow my brains out.

I'm kidding. That was a joke. Don't tell Mom I said that. Also, scroll through this. These are all the deep cuts my friends at community college have been collecting while we stay out late and smoke - meats. Yeah - my bros Skeet and Blazer? They're big...big barbecue fans. Yeah.

Stop looking at me, dude, just pick a movie.

Pink Floyd's The Wall (1982)

Oh fuck yeah. Uh, no it's not the album. I mean, it's technically the album - but remember how I told you that The Wall is a Rock Opera? This is the visual adaptation of that Rock Opera. It's got the whole album - complete with a short song from The Final Cut which is another Pink Floyd that came out after The Wall but has a lot of the same themes. This thing has some fuckin' killer animations by Gerald Scarfe. It's a pretty intense take on modern masculinity and fame in post-war Britain from someone with direct experience in all of that.

Evil Dead II (1987) and Armies of Darkness (1992)

What? It's Sam Rami, dude, of course there's gore. It's a Sam Rami movie that isn't Spiderman, so there's a ton of gore and jump scares. No but like - they aren't good jump scares and the gore is absolutely nonsense. It's a horror comedy but it's pretty heavy on the comedy, you know? In Evil Dead II (No, you don't need to start with the first one. The first act of Evil Dead II is a remake of The Evil Dead.) the main guy Ash has his hand turn evil, so he cuts it off and replaces it with a chainsaw.

Shut the fuck up, man, it's not spoilers. It's barely top five in crazy shit that happens in this movie. It's awesome though Bruce Campbell is like horror Mister Bean. He's also hot as fuck. Nevermind. Forget I said that.

Hellraiser (1987)

Seriously, if you pick this you can't tell Mom and Dad I let you watch it. Well, I don't think it's scary, but the practical effects are pretty hardcore for its time and I remember you were pretty upset when you came in and hid in my room while Skeet and I were watching The Thing.

It's pretty gory. It's a body horror film. But aside from some retro-horror staples it's definitely not - like - realistic gore. It's like a guy will die because he gets exploded by chains from goth BDSM demons. Then he's resurrected but he's got no skin and he's kind of bitchy about it for a while. It's pretty cool. Pretty - um - it's got pronouns, you know? It's - I can't call it gay, right? No, it's literally gay. Clive Barker is a gay man. This is a pretty queer horror series.

Shock Treatment (1981)

So Jim Sherman and Richard O'Brien made Rocky Horror Picture Show. They then made an AU of their own movie musical - which is this movie, Shock Treatment. Call me a contrarian, but I like this one a bit better. RHPS is great, but it's so overwhelmingly Tim Curry that it does drown out everything else. This seems like a bit more of an ensemble cast where you can really enjoy the whole movie. Plus their song "Bitchin' in the Kitchen" is like one of my favorite musical songs.

Paprika (2006)

Satoshi Kon is easily one of the best animators of all time. He's the same guy that did Perfect Blue, but that's a little bit more of an intense watch (Although is you do decide to do it do not watch the dubbed version. I'm not being a 'subs not dubs' weeb again the ending was so subtle that the dub fucked it up). Paprika is fantastic It's a beautifully animated science-fiction adventure akin to Inception if Inception was led by a cool lady. It's gorgeous.

Synechdoche, New York (2008)

Charlie Kaufman is one of those directors who people think encourage Angsty Indie White Guys, even though all of his movies specifically focus on how pathetic Angsty Indie White Guys are. This is a big one, but it's beautiful and I've seen it five times. Every time it leaves me quiet and thoughtful. If we watch this and I cry you aren't allowed to say shit about it.

Sorry to Bother You (2018)

This is a surrealist, sci-fi black comedy by writer/director, rapper, and communist activist Boots Riley. it's pretty crazy right off the get go. It's cool to see a blatantly anti-capitalist speculative fiction story that isn't - like - blatantly ideological. It definitely has the ideology, but not at the sacrifice of great writing and directing and a really fun story.

How's that film major I'm dating? Kai is fine. Kai's cool. Kai's...enough about Kai.

Brazil (1985)

This is like 1984 but in the hands of the most creative Monty Python guys. It is crazy how creative this movie is. Like early Tim Burton. Just chaotic and hilarious and horrifying. It's awesome.

But I'm getting sick of talking. Would you pick something already?

You picked: Dancer in the Dark (2000)

The...the fucking Lars Von Trier musical starring Bjork? The that starts with Bjork playing a poor immigrant mother who's slowly going blind and struggling to make ends meet and only gets far sadder from there?

You're getting into Bjork? Now? In 2024 you're just now deciding to get into - ?

Nope. That's fine. I said you can pick, so you can pick. I'll warn you though. this thing's like two and a half hours long and I'm going to spend most of it weeping. If I see you even quiver a laugh I will doxx you online I swear to god.

[complete-idiot-in-love]

Watching episode 39 of Once Upon A Witchlight (Spoilers warning!)

This podcast is so found family coded for me and I'm definitely gonna start writing down moments I liked to share here with y'all! I already got episode 40 done too so be on the lookout for that post after this one uwu

@cafekitsune made these awesome dividers, I'm gonna start using them for style!

Bloodytoes flirting with Gricko because of their shared hatred of the lornlings gives me "really? In front of my salad?" Vibes but the salad is hootsie

Mikey not blinking for the entire opening was very scary and also worrying because how the hell can he do that??? And it just made me wonder if Gricko could do that also

When Torbek is eating the feathers and plucking the vultures, I can imagine my self insert just giving him MORE feathers to eat because "I can't tell if this is a bugbear thing or a Torbek thing but if it makes him happy :) "

Andy and Mikey talking joking about Frost having rizz and also being an incel with a fedora was so good. I can't believe my AroAce (Headcanon) brother has more rizz than me >:(

Derek jokingly telling Nikki her heartbeat sounds aren't good enough and he should do them which makes her kill frost with a sharp pot lid “my fucking rest of my body!" Was so damn funny

Sea cucumber robert rectangle trousers ice pops (Spongebob Squarepants) I love it when Gricko makes unofficial names for random things haha!!

“You feel frost filling your mouth" NOT THE FIRST TIME, PROBABLY WON'T BE THE LAST!!!

The group really wanting to leave Gricko for dead in the meat locker because his stupid ass really wanted the heart in the box

Hootsie biting off Gideon's nipple so hard that it gushes blood and B-Toes looking happy about it. Hootsie just was protecting her Papa!!

Mending is Frost's signature spell at this point I swear to the gods

“Male satyr dangling his, dangling his hooves” BAD PLACE TO STUTTER NIKKI!!

Gideon's rage code word being bitch is never NOT funny to me

Torbek FINALLY using one of his dimension doors from back when they fought the rabbits to save the satyr is so nice (like what if he did it cause he thought maybe the satyr was related to my self insert?) Also did they retcon him eating the second one or what cause apparently he has another but when Andy was absent, Nikki made Torbek eat it and fall unconscious

The satyrs name is Vancele (vawn-cell) and he is HUNG (and maybe related to my self insert but probably not) Also just in general I love it when the group runs into satyrs because it shows that there is a good possibility that my character COULD be canon! And it's just funny to imagine my amnesiac satyr seeing another one and being like "Are we related??"

Gideon comforting his upset husband about his missing hat is so damn cute, I love my dads so much

Gricko being terrible at lying is such a Gricko thing

Torbek being fancy with his new +1 luck rose! So glad he got something good, my bestie deserves it!!

Every time Gricko says “those FUCKERS" I die out laughing because of how unnaturally pissed off he is

Frost being the most accidentally horniest dude on the team AND the most badass with his meta magic is so cool “I will do them both, I'm very flexible" My brother got RIZZ!!

[arthurtaylorlester]

malevolent pt 31 liveblog ''the nightmare''

arthur is sleepy i'm so glad

WAIT WHAT

KELLIN??

WHERE'S JOHN

WHY THE FUCK IS KELLIN THERE

DOWN THE TOWER??

WHAT

IS

GOING

ON

oh wait i get it

is the whole episode a fever dream

THE HEAD!!!! RETURNS

samantha is its name

girl what is going on did i miss something

yes you are daft arthur

where is john

i miss him

i cant have him gone again after s3

the voice being distorted?

ayo kellin lowkey sounds like john what is going on

the butcher?? the apartment??

i think i get it. arthur is like dreaming and his memories are blending. kelling and john function as the same person

UNCLE? this is definitely a dream

OH GOD ARTHUR TRAUMA AHHHHHHH

LISTEN TO JOHN GODAMMIT

the train? oh this is getting good

PERCIVAL !!!

NO NOT HIS WIFE WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU KILLED HER

JOHN !! YES LISTEN !!

who is john?

wdym you DONT REMEMBER

I WAS RIGHT KELLING = JOHN RN

yes bbg you are dreaming

noooo you didnt drown your girl arthur

wait is kiy has the dreamlands does he have dreams as well

LISTEN !! TO !! JOHN !!

YES HE IS YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS

why is you trying grunting real hard dude wtf

oooh please be yellow or somehting

OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD

''i'm not a piece of you'' THE LITTLE BITCH IS BACK !!

''clever boy'' dude wtf

yellow repaying arthur for being called ''good boy'' by him that one time

PODCAST ACHIEVEMENT!! worms obtained

yeah arthur what ARE you doing

ohhhhhhhh what did happen

this is such good horror wtf

oh ok i was just talking about this with finch but the line ''you are me screaming at me'' @ kellin who is functionally john this ep makes me think about like, how arthur and john are the same person, fundamentally

yeah why not even john?

''because'' what

WHAT DO YOU MEAN ARTHUR YOU DON'T TRUST JOHN EITHER

YES YOU'RE GOING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION PLEASE!!!!

PLEASE YES KAYNE !!

what

what is he slipping away

no

no no no he can't fracture more can he

aughhh i get why this wasnt good for april 1st

well deserved angst post fluffy eps like 29-30

yellow isnt the king sooooo

OH GOD ARTHUR THINKS HE RUINED YELLOW

THE SOUND MIXING THIS EP IS AMAZING AGHHHHH

OH NO BELLA LORE

WHERE WERE YOU ARTHUR

DANIEL???

arthur not wanting to go to the caves what happened dude

is this like omori with repressed memories oooooohhhhh

THE WRAITH !! AND THE BABY !!

GOD BLESS THIS BABY STANCZYCK

yes arthur you didnt kill this baby !! slay !

you saved it :)

this is like a mega malevolent recap

mmmmm yellow watcha doing there

YES ARTHUR YOU HAVE AGENCY

tentacles?

OH YEAH THE LAKE SORRY MY MIND WENT ..... ELSEWHERE

oh god this is so fucking well done i love this episode !!

HIS SCREAMS GAHHHHHH THE ACTING !!

OH GOD THIS SEQUENCE WAS SO GOOD

kelling as arthur subconscious is such a good literary choice

because he took the things he loved FROM HIMSELF

HE LEFT HIMSELF TO DIE METAPHORICALLY TOO

mmmmmmmmmm i fuckign love this godforsaken podcast

not a piece of media i enjoy more

hmmmm kelling being john and also a part of arthur subconscious? i was literally just thinking about this a few hours ago

the episode still has 30 more minutes i'm scared

AUGHHH THE METAPHOR OF ARTHUR BURYING HIMSLED/KELLIN/JOHN STAND-IN

go off girl about evil

you are so hot when you're smart /hj

ahhhhhh arthur trauma is so :(((((

OH GOD BABY NO HE'S SO FUCKING HUMAN

nooooo you were moving on you werent happy she died

arthur confronting his trauma is sooo

i feel so fucking bad for arthur and he isnt even real

so youre gonna sleep. in a dream. okay ig

oh wait you meant metaphorically oh ok

KELLIN (ARTHUR'S SUBCONSCIOUS) AND PAST BEING BURIED AND HIM WISHING HE FINDS HIS GIRL

DARK WORLD ARC WHEN ????

also yes i've been saying same deck of cards, two sides of the same coin

wait who

oh larson

AHHAHAHA NEW NICKNAME ''golden boy'' ''your undefeated''

oh god

yellow being yellow but john being golden

harlan guthrie you goddamns genius

john did take away everything from arthur but gold is malleable, changeable

THE POEM HE POSTED ON TWT A FEW DAYS AGO

GOLD IS NATURE'S FIRST GREEN !!

nothing gold can stay

oh god this is beautiful

fave malevolent episode EASY FOR SURE

YOU ARE CHOOSING TO STAY OR ARE LARSON AND YELLOW ACTUALLY THERE THROUGH SPOOKY MAGIC SHENANIGANS TO TORTURE HIM

arthur married and had faroe young .........

smh larson arthur is just built different and comprehends the horror

there's a beauty in horror

yeah you tell him it's not horror

flashback??

BECAUSE THEY GOT MARRIED BECAUSE THEY HAD A KID AND WEREN'T MARRIED

HE DOESNT LOVE HER

AROMANTIC FR !!!!

oh a pity fuck?? dude

hmmmmm you cant live for someone else

it's wrong? for you? oh girl you got a big storm coming

james. new character alert.

YOURE GONNA LEAVE YOU'RE WIFE AS SHE'S GIVING BIRHT?? ARTHUR NOOOO

hmmm yeah arthur kinda deserved that

OH DAMN JAMES

BELLA WASNT THE ONLY PERSON TO LOVE HIM

he has uh..... an evil eldritch monster

god arthur you idiot you deal with it and your wife dies before you get to the hospital

faroe was alone in the hospital for a goddamn hour

no larson he was feeling silly i still love him

the hour oh goddddd

he fr does not care about bella AT ALL

AJHDSFJHEFHSJDFHJDHFGKH WALLY

he really loves insulting himself

he's so me-coded

he's over this guys you heard it here first

the demon yes i forgot about it !!

YOU COMBAT IT WITH JOHN !!

LISTEN

oh faroe :(((

oh the fics that we'll get

oh god she was so little

he cared so much for faroe AGGHHHH

SHE LIKED STORIES :(((((

''are you there troll?'' I'M SOBBING FR

oh god the game

jadhkjhfhjdfj the monster

seen WHO?

JOHN?

KIY?

YELLOW?

TENDRILSSSS

oh god no don't tell me it was throat oh okay

stomach oh my fuckingggoddd what

WHAT IS HE PULLING OUT

THE INTESTINES OUCH

THEY'RESWEET

HE WANTS TO FUCKING EAT YOU

stabbing him might free himt though

he's delirius

JOHN YES FINALLY BBG YOU'RE HERE MY BABY

i fucking knew he was sleepwalking

200 years???

how old is this woman

this thing is wow

idk why i ent the whole ep thinking it was the kiy

he's going to fucking eat you

oh god oh fuck i'll cry this episode is amazing

wait what

did he fucking get a new pet

HE'S HIS FAVOURITE????

arthur's trauma was so tasty he fucking got a fan

uh oh

this isn't any good is it

YOU CALL IT MADNESS RETURN??

NO? OKAY...

okay this episode was phenonget ready for a whole new month of ranting

[madonnamadeofasphalt]

I've been listening to a lot of Cool Zone Media podcasts lately, and I've been getting really annoyed with the rather silly misconception that these people keep repeating, which is that the Night of Long Knives was the "purge of the left wing of the Nazi Party", so bear with me, I need to write some paragraphs about it for a bit.

First of all, the idea that Ernst Röhm was on the left wing of anything is patently absurd. If anything, you could make a semi-convincing argument that he flanked the Austrian painter from the right - he believed that the "Nazi Revolution" wouldn't be complete until the German military itself wasn't fully absorbed into the party structures and integrated with the SA, and that the painter was being cowardly not to do it. Neither is it true that he was killed for being gay. He was very much gay, everybody knew and made gross jokes about it, and his "decadence" was certainly used after the fact to justify his killing, but the decision to get rid of him was pretty unambigously about the aforementioned disagreement. The painter simply wasn't quite stupid enough to not be aware that pissing off the Army was a sure way to get military couped to oblivion, and Röhm kept pissing off the Army, so Röhm needed to die.

But of course the misconception I'm talking about probably doesn't have much to do with Röhm (although his custom of fucking dudes probably adds some fuel to it). Rather, it comes from Strasser. "Strasserism" and "Strasserite" are terms that are still occasionally used today to refer to neo-Nazis and other fascists who integrate some elements of social welfarism into their belief system. And, of course, the other major Nazi who got wrecked during the Night of Long Knives was Gregor Strasser. So, Strasserite means kinda-leftie-but-still-Nazi and Strasser and his closest associates got murdered that night, means it was indeed, at least partially, the purge of the Nazi "left", right?

The one small problem with that logic is that Strasserism isn't named after Gregor Strasser. It is, in fact, named after his younger brother, Otto Strasser. Otto indeed had some pretty radical ideas by Nazi standards, such as "the factory workers might hate us a bit less if we support their right to unionize". For these ideas, he was expelled from the NSDAP in 1930, three years before Nazis came to power and four years before the Night of Long Knives. He tried running his own, welfarist Nazi party for a while, but once the Enabling Act dropped, he decided it was high time to skip the country. What's crucial about all that is that Gregor Strasser didn't leave the Nazi Party (let alone Nazi Germany) with him. In fact, he condemned and disowned his own brother, and supported his expulsion, because Nazis are, generally, spineless bitches.

So why, then, did they murder Gregor Strasser, a loyal Nazi, so devoted to the painter that he was ready to betray his own family for him? Well, it seems to boil down to the unlucky (for him) fact that on the Night of Long Knives, he happened to be in Berlin. The painter was personally leading the purge in Munich, the Nazi headquarters, while in Berlin, the death sentences were passed out by Göring and Himmler, a.k.a.: Strasser's main political rivals. He wasn't trusted enough to lead the purge (he argued with the painter a bit too much about cabinet-bulding strategy the previous year, so their relations got strained, because the painter didn't like it when people disagreed with him), so instead he ended up on the chopping block. It didn't help that one conservative made a list of potential contacts who might be swayed against the painter, and he put Gregor Strasser on that list (presumably because of the whole brother-expelling thing); that list fell into Himmler's guys' hands, and was later used as dubious proof that Strasser had been a traitor all along.

So yeah, those are the two main Nazis who got murdered on the Night of Long Knives. The rest of the victims were mostly people who were known as their close friends, followers and associates, as well as a bunch of non-Nazi conservatives who were considered a potential threat, and also a couple completely random people who got really unlucky and stumbled upon a squad of drunken SS dudes in a murdering mood. It wasn't "the purge of the left wing of the Nazi Party", it was the purge of the last few prominent German politicians who were willing to openly disagree with their silly-moustached leader on literally anything. But that doesn't really work as a snappy comparison to modern nazbols, I suppose.

[wellwrittenevilbitch]

ok i just scrolled through so much evil character propaganda just to see if anyones already submitted this one

Elias Bouchard (or rather jonah magnus since... reasons-) from the Magnus Archives!

spoilers for tma btw

someone already put jude perry but she was a side villain, this guy was the big bad of the whole thing, like, he still caused trouble when he was IN JAIL

(no picture since the only ones i could put are non-cannon fanart cuz podcast)

ok so he was first jonah magnus and dear god-

so he's the head of the Magnus Institute and he servers like this fear eldritch god that spies on people. also he stole not one, but SEVERAL people's eyes and bodies and replaced them with his own over the course of about two centuries and takes over the victm's body

he also murdered very many people and also had the bones of an old friend of his whom of which he chose not to save because he was "very close" with i htink the person who was at the cause of it (im not sure though i don't really rememebr)

also one of the murders was just. like, the dude did NOTHING to him, but he was revealing too much information to the mc so he anacted brutal pipe murder and framed the mc for it!

(this man is horrible)

he went to jail, eventually, but not before revealing that if you try to kill him, everyone who signed the contract of employment will die alongside him. as with him getting harmed in any way.

(also, the only way to escape him, because of the fear entity he serves, you have to GOUGE OUT YOUR EYES. i mean, it wasn't a him thing that caused it, of coures, it was the entity's thing, but still c'mon man)

oh and he also turned the mc into the antichrist so there's that.

this guy has committed so many atrocities im surprised no-ones submitted him yet, and the only tma character here is Jude fucking perry like-

In!

[kovacs-on-ice]

Why Halo: Reach (campaign) is a trainwreck.

A lovable trainwreck, don't get me wrong, but a trainwreck nonetheless.

So Halo Reach is one of those games that leaves a community divisive, it was the first halo game to not have a universally loved reception among the community at large. I think it's a fun game, a really fun game, I adore it's multiplayer and the hours my friends I spent dicking around in forge world. It also has the best armor system Halo's ever had to date, infinite can suck my ass--I'm not paying 15 dollars for a shader. You ain't D2, you can't pump and dump my wallet.

ANYWAY

Reach is such an interesting case, out of universe, as it feels like such an out of character move by bungie. Let's consider for a moment, that the same company that tried to stop the release of fall of reach WEEKS before it's release, was notoriously uncooperative with ensemble studios(people who made Halo Wars), who had a game director undercut the books of the series he was making(And it was Staten, if you could believe it. It's on an old 2000s podcast.) decided--"YES, LETS GO DEEP INTO THE LORE, OUR FAVORITE PART OF THIS FRANCHISE. WHILE WE'RE AT IT, LETS USE THE SPARTAN-IIIs" ?????? Does this not feel weird to anyone else?

If you look at vidocs for reach, and other behind the scenes content, it's said that they wanted to do their own thing, and ignore the books. which if that's what they want to do, sure, fuck it.

Then why did they include First Strike references (radio logs you can hear on certain levels/maps) or HAVE NOBLE TEAM BE ALL IIIS

This is the thing that gets me the most. Halo Reach, legit, feels like Bungie's last middle finger to microsoft at certain points. Reach is the home of the Spartans, well the IIs really. It's what gives the planet, and it's destruction, such significance to characters like Chief, or Fred, or any II. That was their home, that's the closest they have to a childhood burning at the stake.

So why, do tell, DID YOU MAKE NOBLE TEAM IIIs

THEY HAVE ZERO CONNECTION TO REACH

THEY GREW UP ON ONYX

What also confuses me here, is that it's not like they gave a shit about how many IIs were in Red Flag. THEY MADE THE GAMES, THATS THEIR LORE. THEY COULDVE JUST MADE UP IIs. The reason that First Strike can be such a gut punch at certain points, is because the IIs are watching their homes burning all around them, and they can do n o t h i n g about it. It's tragic, and it makes their survival in the remnants of the glassed planet even more perilous.

I love First Strike, if you couldn't tell. If Ghosts of Onyx didn't exist, it'd be the best halo book. I'm not gonna defend this opinion because it's right.

And Bungie wrote entire CVs and A FUCKING MESSAGE BETWEEN KURT AND MENDEZ in the leadup to Reach. They did all this legwork for the pay off of having characters unrelated to the conflict they were fighting.

also, I know Jorge is a II, I WILL GET TO JORGE.

Reach was planned, in development, as this giant military campaign first . Check the vidocs/behind the scenes videos, I think Marty O'Donnell is the one who says it. (also marty was the dude who had miranda and johnson die in 3, he edited that in, check the making of Halo 3. Who kept letting the audio director fuck with the script?)

There is a big, big problem with making the battle of Reach a military campaign, however.

In FOR, the kicker about the battle of reach is that it wasn't even a battle. The Covenant overwhelmed the UNSC's fleet and flooded the planet groundside, the battle was incredibly shortlived. I think only a day. Chief went from having near 30 of his siblings living and in the field, to being the only spartan in active combat.

First Strike keeps this narrative too. The Spartans never get to fight their valiant last stand. The loss of the fleet makes the different splinters of Red Team retreat to their various fallback points. Fred, Kelly and Joshua kill an invading army of covenant, sure, but the rest of the Spartans prevent were handling a variety of what-the-fucks

I do think that a theme that carries from book to game is fighting in the face of hopeless odds, which I like.

In the game, Reach is invaded by a smaller covenant fleet and ONI just....never tells the rest of the planet? It's the long night of solace, a big cloaked super carrier, and a few destroyers. (Unironically, the lore for this is that the Shipmaster of Solace came to reach on the search for forerunner artifacts, realized he was in way over his head, and just tried to get his fleet to 1-man all of reach before the prophets got too mad.

which is funny, in retrospect, because right after he eats shit--Thel shows up in the big boy fleet. I wonder how that conversation went down with the surviving officers.)

In FoR, they bring the IIs back to Reach to prep for Red-Flag and to get them the Mark V upgrade. Same thing with the pillar of autumn.

This happens by August 27th. Chief was already on the planet beforehand for a few days to debrief highcom about Sigma Octanus IV, that's beside the point. It's to be assumed that there were a sizable amount of IIs on Reach in the weeks before, since they were being pulled from a variety of fronts, and slipspace travel means everyone would've gotten there at different times. Chief was also leading a force of 12 Spartans at Sigma Octanus IV, the battle right before reach, so I assume they came with him.

August 30th---OOPS, ALL COVENANT

The battle starts as FoR-First Strike say it does on the 30th, AND THAT SAME FUCKING DAY THE PLANET IS LOST.

---------

In Reach, the game, the covenant were found on reach JULY 24TH. THAT IS WHEN THEY PRESS THE "OH FUCK, WINTER CONTIGENCY" BUTTON. If you go by the game, it seems like there's just all out warfare across the planet after that point. The mission after is Noble Team defending Castle Base from a Covenant Corvette (also, like, it's goofy as fuck to think that no one outside the select military participating in these engagements did not, or hear about, the giant space marine animal firing death from above. I doubt the covenant gave a shit about which humans they turned to ash knew about them, after their presence was found out.)

So most of Reach's Campaign happens, including the huge fucking battle at Szurdok Ridge. You know the battle that had scarabs and scorpion tanks casually duking it out in the background, same battle that they used a MAC round in atmosphere in?

By August 13th, 60 percent of the UNSC fleet is recalled to defend reach. Not too long after that, Noble Team kills the super carrier. Then what I assume is Thel's fleet shows up as in the cutscene it shows a massive fleet entering the system immediately after the solace's destruction. After that is the battle of new alexandria, which ends august 23rd.

The game and the book link up on August 30th, as Noble team delivers the other half of cortana. (Halsey split her into two so she could continue her forerunner research, also, halsey never talks about meeting Noble Team in First Strike. Jun literally escorted her to Castle Base. In her journals that came with Reach's deluxe edition, I think there is a few pages of her freaking the fuck out about them. Not-so-concidentally Eric Nylund also wrote that Journal.)

343 tried to link the game and book stories together, and the result was--

Oni predicted there was a 67% of reach being found, just let it happen, no I am not joking.

The battle of reach up until where FoR picks up is just on one side of the planet, somehow they contain it so the planet doesn't freak out. I do not know how, the covenant were fucking EVERYWHERE.

ONI also let the long night of solace pally about, they were mad when Noble Team blew it to high hell because they wanted to use it for Red Flag.

THEY BROUGHT ALL THE IIs BACK TO REACH, MID INVASION, AND JUST DIDN'T TELL THEM UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE???? ALSO, IF THE PLANET WAS BEING INVADED BY THE COVENANT, WHY DID YOU NOT USE ONE OF THE MANY ORBITAL MAC CANNONS.

This is a GOOFY retcon, I swear to god.

It takes them like, an entire fucking month, to get the fleet to Reach. I'd also like to mention, KEYES LEAVES THE BATTLE AND LANDS ON REACH SO HE CAN PICK UP CORTANA FOR THE LAST MISSION. CHIEF WAS LITERALLY NAPPING DURING THIS. I'M SURE HE WOULD'VE LOVED TO HELP NOBLE SIX AND EMILE OUT IF THEY WOKE HIM THE FUCK UP.

@zitasaurusrex

I apologize if this was hard to read, and tbh I probably also missed stuff li-WAIT I FORGOT

IN HALO REACH THEY HAVE A SEVEN PART RADIO MESSAGE STORY ABOUT BETA RED, SPLIT ACROSS FIREFIGHT AND MULTIPLAYER MAPS. THE SPARTANS WHO WERE LEFT TO DEFEND THE GENERATORS. THEY'RE CHATTING ABOUT THEM AS THEY'RE PUNCHING UP TO THESE TANK SQUADRONS BAREHANDED. BUNGIE, BUNGIE, THIS IS ALREADY A MESS, WHY ARE YOU INCLUDING THIS. Edit: I realize I never got to Jorge. I think it's stupid to have Jorge be in noble team because it SHOWS they thought about the concept of what reach being invaded would mean to a II. They just didn't care enough to expand on it in any substantial way.

[serve-update]

Lala Kent Net Worth: Is She Not Feeling The Hype Over Ozempic?

Giving birth to the expression "Give Them Lala," Lala Kent first gained notoriety on Bravo's "Vanderpump Rules." She has subsequently established herself as a hugely successful media figure. Her ambitious, amusing, and talented nature has helped her amass a sizable following all over the world. This slogan opened the path for her beauty empire, Give Them Lala Beauty. Lala is an actress who most recently portrayed the title character in the Lionsgate horror movie "The Row." She will also be seen in the upcoming heist movie "Vault." In previous movies including "Dudes & Dragons," "Pitching Love and Catching Faith," "One Shot," and "The Mentor," she also had significant roles. In 2018, Lala's smash song "Boy" topped the Electronic genre charts on iTunes. Hurry and check out Lala Kent's net worth! Time is ticking, so don't miss out on this chance!

Lala Kent Net Worth

The American entertainment sector has seen some success for Lala Kent, a very accomplished woman. She started her career back in 2009, and her acting accomplishments propelled her to fame very quickly. She was able to join hundreds of programs and films, giving her notoriety and exposure around the world. Later, Kent made the decision to become a model, and thanks in large part to her attractiveness, she was able to outperform many rivals. Due to the publication of her book, Give Them Lala, and a podcast with the same name in 2021, Lala Kent gained notoriety once more. Lala Kent's current net worth is $5 million.

Lala Kent Net Worth Read More: - Ritchie Valens Net Worth: How Did He Die? & What Is His Causes Of Death? - Brandi Carlile Net Worth: At A Surprise Event, Brandi Carlile Spoke With Meghan Markle And Prince Harry For A Long Time!

Lala Is Not Feeling The Hype Over Ozempic

Lala Kent and Scheana Shay are courageously declaring their opposition to the Olympics, following in the footsteps of fellow Bravolebrity Kyle Richards (at least for weight loss). At the season 10 premiere of their reality series, the Vanderpump Rules stars were questioned about their opinions on the popular weight-loss medicine that was once used to treat diabetes. And they showed no hesitation. "Stop using it to lose weight. Already enough," Kent said to People. "Hollywood, in my opinion, is totally screwed up. https://twitter.com/BravoTV/status/1623515025452441606 We must perform better. Despite being advertised as a medication to assist treat Type 2 diabetics, Ozempic has reportedly become more and more popular in Hollywood as a weight-loss treatment, along with other injectable medications like Wegovy and Mounjaro. Recently, Chelsea Handler discussed her use of the medicine Ozempic, commonly known as semaglutide, telling Call Her Daddy that she had given the drug to five of her friends.

Lala Is Not Feeling The Hype Over Ozempic The medication has also recently come under criticism for potential side effects such as severe nausea and weight gain after use. When I roll my eyes and say, "Fucking do better, all of us," Kent said, "I think there are a lot of things that need to change and it starts with us." Spread the word to your fam, peep Serve Update for the latest updates! Read the full article

[cakeofthepan]

Congrats to Will for achieving 2 of the greatest achievements in life, becoming a father and murdering Freddie Wong.

[Audio Transcript:

[Rhythmic clacking music plays]

Will: Hey everyone, I’m Will Campos I play Normal Oak, a mixed-up mascot kid who doesn’t know who he is anymore. Teen fact this week about Normal, this one’s for you Freddie

Freddie: Yay!

Will: That raccoon that Normal found, that he befriended a couple of teen facts ago, it’s actually not a racoon it’s a goingondog.

[music cuts out]

Freddie: What’s a goingondog?

Beth: oohhhhhh

Will: [extremely pleased with himself] Not much dog, what’s a going on with you bitch?

Freddie: [screams in agony]

[crab rave starts playing]

Matt: [laughing] are you serious? Did you seriously fall for that?

Anthony: [overlapping] Did you seriously fall for that? You actually fell for that?

Beth: [overlapping] I can’t- I can’t believe you-

Freddie: [overlapping] you BITCH

Will: [full on cackling]

Matt: Are you serious?

Anthony: Oh my god, Freddie is full on doing the Evangelion Shinji like doubled over in his chair clutching his head.

Beth: Oh No!

Will: [still cackling]

Freddie: [screams in agony again]

Anthony: He literally looks like he has to go pilot the Eva right now

Will: YESSS

Anthony: I can’t believe that

Freddie: Aaaaaa what

Matt: Will- Will, you found his perfect weakness, you found like a moment when his defenses were down

Anthony: Oh my god

Will: I, alright, so here’s the real story, I became a-

Freddie: GODDAMN IT

Will: [laughs]

Anthony: How did you fall for it?

Matt: How did you fall for that?

Freddie: [yelling] I don’t know, I don’t know, it was a moment of weakness, Jesus Christ

Anthony: Oh man

Will: [laughs] so um, here’s the story of that dad fact. Last month, I became a father. My wife and I had our beautiful baby boy Andy. He’s doing well, everyone’s doing great. I have been thinking about what my dad fact was gonna be for a month straight while sleep deprived and pacing around back and forth. And I was like, I feel like I’ve got one chance here to really pull something over on somebody. And I thought of this goingondog thing, I was like wait a sec. Cuz Freddie updogged me

Matt: Mmm Hmmm

Will: two decades ago I swear to god. Ten year- twelve years ago

Matt: Oh my god

Beth: Damn

Will: He got me with just straight up updog and I was like, I will have my revenge one day

Freddie: Wait do you remember that? I don’t remember that

Will: I had never heard updog before, and then you just updogged me and then everyone laughed at me and I’ve been holding a grudge-

Anthony: The day Freddie updogged you was the most important day of your life. To him it was Tuesday

Freddie: [laughing] For me it was a Tuesday

Will: And I was like, I bet my first fact back everyone’s gonna be wondering what it is, he’s gonna say something about having a kid. And then I’m like, oh wait, I’ll call Freddie out specifically, I’ll reel, I’ll reel him in.

Freddie: Oh what, that’s the move. That was the move. That’s what got me dude

Beth: Damn

Will: Yeah, so I don’t know. Anyway, I can die now I’m quitting the podcast. Goodbye

Anthony: Wow

Freddie: Fuck, bro. Just like fucking James Earl Jones used to say dude, the circle is now complete

Matt: I just watched an assassination. You know like, one of those videos that nobody moves. Like, we all just sat here just watched Freddie get murdered.

Will: [laughs] one of those 3 seconds before disaster happened videos. Anyway

Freddie: Holy shit. Do I need to turn back in my podcaster card?

Beth and Matt: I think so

[laughter]

Freddie: Do I need to go back to the podcasters guild and tell them that I’ve been forcibly ejected by an updog joke?

Beth: Hi

Freddie: [screams]

Beth: Hi

Freddie: Fuck you Will

Will: Hi Beth, how are you?

[music fades out]

Anthony: Roll stealth with disadvantage Taylor

Freddie: Taylor’s just so pumped at the idea that there was a ghost

Will: Taylor Swift really wondering if uhh we’re uhh out of the woods yet

Beth: Mmmmmm

Freddie: don’t ugh Will

Will: Did you hear her new song hey what’s up dog?

Freddie: Go fuck yourself

Beth: Freddie says it smells like wrong dog in here

Anthony: Freddie, you wanna roll to bofa?

End Transcript]

[krystal-prisms]

My favorite and most interesting YouTube channels, not that anybody asked or really cares

True crime related:

Bailey Sarian: she does her makeup while talking about true crime and stuff, she's super funny and her stories sound like your bestie sharing hot gossip with you while still being super respectful. She also does Dark History, which is super interesting and she really does her research.

Eleanor Neale: another really interesting and respectful YouTuber, her stories are also really well researched and she does lots of stories from around the world and does lots of lesser known cases.

MrBallen: he does a variety of stories about the "strange, dark and mysterious", not just true crime, but also Missing 411, Places You Can't Go But People Went Anyways, some history, lots of things. He's a great storyteller, and his like button jokes are stellar. This man has cured me of any and all desire to ever go cave diving.

Science

NileRed/NileBlue/NileRed shorts: does a ton of cool chemistry things, a bit more on the complicated and technical side, but still interesting even if you know nothing about chemistry. Unfairly smart. Sixpenceee steals his videos all the time

TheBackyardScientist and Allen Pan: classic cases of Smart People Do Stupid Shit, more physics and engineering related with some chemistry. Case of can we do it, without thinking should we do it. Do not try at home. These guys are gonna die so much. TheBackyardScientist is the literal definition of Florida Man.

Simone Giertz: like the above point, very very smart, uses it for chaos. At first I thought she was more chill and less Unhinged than Allen Pan and BackyardScientist, she's exactly on their level, maybe even more chaotic. Love her.

I did a thing: again, smart person makes stupid things, just for the fun of it, he's even more chaotic than the above channels, if that's even possible, he makes lots of cool stuff, and does some other miscellaneous things to. Honestly, this dude shouldn't be alive.

Styropyro: epitome of Don't Try This At Home. Makes really neat lasers, and his entire channel is full of bad ideas. Again, super smart, and uses it to cause problems on purpose. More physics and engineering based again, with a heavy focus on building the most dangerous things possible.

Brave Wilderness: more of an educational channel geared towards younger audiences, but still interesting. Coyote Peterson, you know, the dude who keeps getting stung by the most painful bugs in the world. On purpose. Wildlife education.

Creative

Royalty Soaps: she makes the most delightful cold processed soaps, she has her own small business, and is such a delight to listen to, her soaps are amazing and she has a fantastic personality.

How To Cake It: one of those cake that doesn't look like cake channels, she again has a delightful personality and is super talented at baking.

Amaury Guichon: the fucking chocolate guy

SimplyNailogical/HoloTaco: alleged nail art channel, but she doesn't really do nail art anymore, but she does have her own nail polish brand, and has super neat polishes, she also has a podcast and a streaming channel, her cats are delightful.

The Modern Goldsmith: he makes the coolest jewelry and also reacts to celebrity wedding/engagement rings and stuff, his work is super cool and he's really talented.

Tipsy Bartender: you know those videos of the Why The Hell Would You Drink This, Potion Of Liver Failure drinks, yeah that's him. He is hilarious, and makes the most bonkers drinks.

RandomHands: he makes the neatest weapons out of random junk, his stuff is super cool and it's crazy how he can make an entire katana put of an old rusty rifle barrel. There's also cats

Kiwami japan: like RandomHands but so much more unhinged. He's crazy smart and talented, and uses that for chaos. He makes bonkers sharp kitchen knives out of the most random materials. His more recent Videos are a special kind of unhinged. He sharpened jello. I both fear and respect this man.

The Piano Guys: they are very talented musicians, and do great covers and also original works, and their shorts are hilarious.

Miscellaneous

Nile Wilson, Luke Stoney and Ash Watson: retired Olympic gymnasts who now use their gymnastics skills to do chaos. They all have vlog channels and do things like gymnastics challenges and Gymnasts Try (insert activity, like ballet, diving, figure skating etc). They're super chaotic and funny.

Watcher: you know, Ryan and Shane from BuzzFeed unsolved, they do a variety of things, and have their own tumblr blog @wearewatcher. I also refuse to believe that the professor is actually dead.

Karolina Zebrowska: she does like historical fashion things, she makes her own historical clothes, and talks about the costumes in shows and stuff, she is super sassy and has the best personality. She also makes hilarious short videos.

Tasting History with Max Miller: he makes vintage and ancient recipes and tries them out, while also giving a vaguely related history lesson. He's like a chilled out version of B Dylan Hollis's tiktok.

LockPickingLawyer: I mean, as it says, this guy picks locks, he shows how to pick a variety of locks with a variety of methods, and as soon as I have free time, I am definitely gonna use this knowledge for evil.

Ok so these are all the channels I'm obsessed with at the moment, and if you're bored and looking for something interesting, I definitely recommend looking up these channels.

[granolabird]

With the Stargirl finale day I'm finally doing a silly little bit that I've been meaning to do for ages,,, Here's an incorrect quotes for Stargirl characters, but only using things me and my friends have said in our group discord server.

.

Rick (speaking to Grundy): "Jesus christ dude first you lay down in the middle of the street, Now you're trying to eat KFC off the curb, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

Mike: "I love the lion king! The Rat and The Hippo make that movie"

Jakeem: "You mean the Meerkat and the Warthog??"

Courtney: "Someone on Facebook is asking where you can buy a pinata other than bulk barn."

Cindy: "The daycare. I'm sure if you hit a little kid in the stomach with a stick hard enough they'll vomit up some candy for you."

Pat: "In the words of the great Backstreet boys, Stop. Collaborate. And Listen."

Barbara: "A kid at work choked on a hotdog today."

Paula: "Did he die?"

Barbara: "No."

Paula: "Oh..... Why?"

Yolanda: "I hate neighbors. All I want to do is sit at home and practice fighting like a proper Vigilante but nooooo you gotta talk to me. Who gave you the right to live beside me? Fuck off."

Sylvester: "Listen, I told Jesus to take the wheel and he made me rich"

Beth: "Fine, okay. Maybe I'm a loveable fuzzball."

The Ultrahumanite: "Who cares about being hot when you can be a little fucking goblin in the woods."

Courtney: "The school called saying my brother sawed a chair in half"

Jordan: "I cast Norway upon thee!"

Crusher: "Murder, murder, murder, and then you get mentioned on a murder podcast!"

Cindy: "You are not at the top of the dissection list. But there is a list."

Yolanda (referring to Cameron): "He's terminally straight"

Artemis: "Take that! I just pistol whipped a bitch but with my arm!"

Deer gets hit by a car

Cameron: I wish that were me.

Jakeem: “Don’t kill me, I was born in 2012!”

Cindy: "Have you ever seen Moulin Rouge?"

Mike: "No sorry, I don't watch cartoons other than Dragon Ball Z"

Beth: What does a milliner make?

Rick: Millions.

Beth: Hats. They make hats.

[windlion]

Malevolent screamalong, part 7! Eps 20-22

Let's head into the creepy city that's probably full of cultists for the guy we're trying to avoid, that sounds like a plan, right?

All right with an episode title like the King and heading straight into the City, I am waiting for John 1.0 to show up. The Hive Mother. Senor Amarillo.

Side-note: I have no idea if King in Yellow is an existing Lovecraftian reference or something new because I am not quite *that* far down the uh. I was about to say tentacle rabbit hole but that is SOMETHING ELSE entirely. I am not that well steeped in the Cthulhu mythos.

"Subtlety is not our strength." No shit!

Arthur do you remember that John is le fucked if you are le fucked?

I hope you guys are talking in your head because otherwise you're SUPER conspicuous.

LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR~~~~

and John all "I am taking psychic damage, this is gnarly"

OH that can't possibly be a ~blatant trap~ could it?

Yeah, safe to say, that this guy is *not all there*

I was almost betting this guy would be also Arthur, doppelganger

"The heart of Hastur" *side-eyes John*

*eyes emoji*

"Through trial and tribulations (though not my own)" XD XD XD

I kind of love this asshole

"Lilith you bitch" *snerk*

I could 100% imagine Taliesin voicing this guy

Cain, okay, Cain, that's my new Asshat, I look forward to his sudden but inevitable betrayal

"All right, time to dick around and do all the side quests"

. . . Does the Dog Die Dot Com

*dirty glares at podcast author* NOT KOSHER

So Arthur had a sibling???

I imagine this would be a pretty bitching movie game pre-battle sequence

"Unscathed?!" I would have pointed at the crippling guilt and depression first

King, buddy, are you *jealous*?

And now, fun times!

. . . I'm not surprised things went that way

Yeah I'm kinda okay with not having THAT narrated. And now it's time for Cain to do his thing!

"We were in an accident" No, actually nothing about that was an accident

Arthur, dude, why did you even try that

I guess that was a . . . human stress reaction, but still, you know the deal you made, Arthur, why would you think there's any wiggle room

It is fun having this rerun with the balance of power reversed, I'm more invested in this dynamic

"What did you do?!"

"You weren't this difficult the first time"

It is fun having John being all "What the actual fuck happened to you"

"Than you could ever be" - Arthur, you're being judgy

And then the changeover to calling him Yellow~

Hmm

"Run" That is quite possibly the worst move you can make

Arthur you do kinda owe Yellow that apology

"The Red Right Hand" oh that's not ominous

And suddenly terrible second-hand embarrassment

*Cringing*

Goddamnit you disasters definitely shouldn't be out in public

Okay I'm not sure if this is point for or against them being a cult

*CRINGE INTENSIFIES*

Ohhhh my god okay the "people are WATCHING" is more anxiety inducing than anything else

and Yellow has a thing for dancing???

If you think animals don't have hope you have never had a dog deeply intensely yearning for your dinner

Ah and there's the name drop

(Fun fact: my high school made us recite that poem our senior year so I recognized it)

And oh ho, I see that that little hat-tip (Is there hope? Who knows!)

Next ep! I guess this is a flashback?

Yellow, deadpan, reciting the damages of the night before

"YES OKAY please stop"

Arthur, you could stop bullshitting unnecessarily

. . . . Deeeeeep sighs and we're back to the see-saw

OH actual progress, good job, Arthur!

Yellow all "You wanted a relationship?"

"Because I didn't want to be an asshole"

Cleanliness is next to godliness and dear god did you need that

Oh hey we found the cults!

Yellow "Uh shit that's BIG I don't want to fuck with that should have picked a bigger body to occupy"

I was wondering about the snowshoes

Yellow all "I DON"T KNOW ABOUT THESE HUMAN THINGS"

I'm with Arthur in the "Knowledge is power!"

So they delved too deeply here

Whomever lived here is dead because you need their loot and are terrible at interacting with living creatures, see: negative charisma score

Ohhhh that was exactly the wrong direction wasn't it

Monch and cronch time

And there we go again~~~

I am going to be smart-ish and stop here for the time being because I bet the next lot are going to run together, so we'll leave Arthur being nommed on. He's had worst resting spots. He'll be fiiiiine.

[hopefulstarfire]

Alright so the Gotham Historian podcast is still happening. It's not gonna be a high quality high budget thing unfortunately its essentially me w my own lil recording app just yammering away about Batman 😂.

The first scripts almost done. It was gonna be shorter and then I found something interesting so now it's gonna be longer and it'll be discussing Batmans very first appearance ever, Detective Comics #27.

The second script I'm trying to pull in as much research as I can for it because it's about the early publication history and creation of Batman. It will namely be focused on Bill Finger and some of the other contributors, such as Jerry Robinson, and not so much on Bob Kane. Because Bob Kane got over 70 years of the spotlight to himself for essentially just being the salesman for Batman while everyone else did all the work. I will have rants about this.

Third episode will be all about explaining the Bat Familys various members, how it came to be, and even some looks at the Wayne family tree itself.

Fourth episode will be about Batmans Rogues Gallery. And, yes, you will be hearing so much about Lord Death Man, because goddamnit he gives me so much seratonin in the midst of my major depression. I fucking love Larry.

Fifth episode will be dedicated to both mapping out Gotham, explaining Wayne Industries a bit more and also going into some of the different Batman gadgets. It's the catch all episode for that.

After those episodes, I have ideas, just figuring out the episode order, but it'll be going across just all sorts of different topics and if anyone wants anything specific I will absolutely do it.

For now, some of the ones I know I'm gonna be talking about are

An entire in depth episode for a milestone talking about Pre/Post Crisis Jason, leading up to his death and everything around A Death in the Family, and about how he wasn't the angry asshole or "little snot" that his writers at the time tried to say he was.

The wildest Batman controversies, and, yes, The Selfish Lover one is at the top of that list.

Some different storylines across the Batfamily and their villains, such as Tower of Babel, Long Halloween, We Are Robin, Year One, etc.

The best episodes of BTAS.

Debating on if i just want to make a really long post about why Lego Batman and Mask of the Phantasm are the best theatrically released Batman films (with the Burton films being just right behind them) or if I should do it for the podcast.

The issue where Bruce got to save his parents.

The issue where Batman wanted to lobotomize the Joker.

The importance of Oracle.

How I would do a Batfam series of cinematic or television releases.

The Himbo Bruce Wayne Argument. I do briefly talk about it in the first episode. There will be an entire episode dedicated to this because I will die on this hill.

Probably the best episodes or highlights of the different movie and tv show adaptations of the Batfam or those moments that really hit hard. I probably won't touch on the Nolan films or Pattinsons Batman bc I don't like them and I don't really feel like just sitting there talking about shit that I don't like bc others like them and thats okay find your enjoyment wherever you can dudes.

Also don't really wanna talk about Tom King and Devin Grayson, because they have both pulled so much fuckshit with their runs and I just

Different episodes going more in depth into specific characters beyond just my explanations in the 3rd and 4th episodes; such as deeper dives into Dukes powers and also where his story can take him, finding identity with Tim (since the writers cannot figure out what his hero name is anymore and also lets not forget btas just making him jason with tims name and costume), Harleys character growth, why Two Face would make for an infinitely better archnemesis for Batman than the Joker, etc etc.

WAYNE FAMILY ADVENTURES MY BELOVED.

I got a ton more but those are just some of what I've been thinking of and again if anyone wants a specific topic I am more than happy to talk about it. But just know that it is on the way and I'm just excited to be able to share thoughts and information with everyone because Batmans been my favorite thing since I was at least 3 years old.

[runicmagitek]

tagged by the lovely @wingsyouburn - thanks bb! 💕

How many works do you have on AO3? 209?? I'm sorry what????

What’s your total AO3 word count? 958,942??? HOW????????????

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? *cackles* Oh sweetheart, sit down. We're gonna be here for a while.

According to my AO3 account, I have 54 different fandoms tagged. Most of them are for video games, but the occasional anime sneaks in now and then. I also have a few MCU fics, one book fic, and a podcast fic. My most prolific fandom is Final Fantasy VI with 50 fics.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Wings of Valor and Compassion (Pharah/Mercy - Overwatch)

No Safety in Desire (Urbosa/Zelda - Legend of Zelda)

Give Them Something to Talk About (Dina/Ellie - The Last of Us)

Finally, Beautiful Stranger (Aeris/Tifa - Final Fantasy VII)

Don't Bring Your Black Heart to Bed (Thanatos/Zagreus - Hades)

Glad to see everyone enjoying my quality gay shit. Also very amused that out of these five, three of them were from last year.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not? I do! Or I at least make a solid effort to do so! I usually can't really sit down to properly reply until the weekend, unless it's something super quick I can shoot off on my phone, so I hope people don't mind the wait.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? Depends on the flavor? For straight-up Bad Ending vibes, absolutely Limbo (I really need to crack out another horror fic, because I love those, even if the majority of fandom doesn't). For right-in-the-feels vibes, Waiting for the Dust to Settle was a recent one I did that just sucker punches you with bittersweet Oh No goodness. It also reminds me of In Another Perfect Life, which ends on a similar note. *squints* actually, these are all for Final Fantasy VIII, which is saying a lot about... something lol

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written? Um... not really? I don't think I have? At least not in the traditional sense where characters from Fandom A interact with characters from Fandom B. I have written some fusion crossover stuff. If You Had Life Eternal comes to mind, where I took Jaina and Kael from WoW and plopped them in Diablo's setting, because reasons.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? I had someone leave a super homophobic comment on one of my Pharmercy fics back in the day, which like... dude, are you lost?? I've also gotten some general weird comments that have little to nothing to do with the fic. I do remember someone on FFN commented saying that I needed Jesus on one of my witch-y fics. Sigh.

Do you write smut? If so what kind? Yes. The delicious kind (I hope).

Have you ever had a fic translated? Probably?? I've had a handful of people over the years ask to translate my stuff, but I haven't seen anything pop up on AO3.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Nope.

What’s your all-time favorite ship? LIKE JUST ONE???? My brain fluctuates when it comes to this, but I definitely have a type or two I always gravitate towards. The most recent addition is Keitaro/Natsuno (13 Sentinels), which lives in my head rent-free from now until I die. I also always find myself coming back to Celes/Setzer (FFVI) and Aeris/Tifa (FFVII).

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? A bunch of 2016 drafts I started and then dropped when my life imploded. I've yet to revisit any of them and I'm not sure if I ever will at this point :\

What are your writing strengths? Apparently sneezing out 7k words without breaking a sweat.

What are your writing weaknesses? Sneezing out 7k words without breaking a sweat *sobs in a corner* ALSO TITLES I HATE TITLES

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I'm... not sure I fully understand what this means? Like having characters speak in another language randomly? I did this sparingly in Darkness/Starlight, where I had Jidoor be a blend of French and Italian, thus giving Setzer an appropriate accent and the occasional French comment. I didn't translate those into English, because the POV character (Celes) wouldn't have understood what was being said. Plus any time Setzer did dip into it, he was speaking from the heart, but was too afraid to actually TELL her. So if anyone had half the mind to translate those bits, they'd find out Setzer said the most touching things to her in French.

ANYHOW. I honestly don't really do this much, especially when a handful of my fandoms are Japanese and I'm writing in English and we're just assuming everyone's talking in Japanese so... yeah. Take it or leave it, I guess.

What was the first fandom you wrote for? Like when I was 10??? A crossover between Sailor Moon and Final Fantasy VII because FUCK YOU I DO WHAT I WANT.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? You're killing me, smalls, and I ain't picking just one.

Darkness/Starlight is forever near and dear to my heart for being a labor of love for such a small, old fandom and my beloved rarepair.

Learn to Fly is one I love for the amount of research I put in (I replayed Pyre and took so many notes on both Ti'zo's and Rhae's speech patterns to get them just right) and the delightful, yet bittersweet messages it exudes.

Long Journey Home is another favorite, because I poured my heart into it and it's got one of my favorite lines and ending.

Of What's Left of Us and Who We Used to Be was my attempt at evoking the surreal, yet heartwrenching vibes from the series and again, I also poured my heart into it.

Before We Have Another Chance to Go Loving was me cramming a massive longfic idea I had in my head forever into a small triple drabble series and it's forever canon in my heart.

The Lies We Tell Ourselves is my most recent fic I've published, which I wrote/edited/polished in four days, but I'm tickled pink with how it turned out.

tagging: @dvske @deemoyza @rosemochi @fury-brand @aliatori and any other writers who feel like swiping this! No pressure, as always 💕