#and the fact that it's oil painting is insane

[fishsticksart]

Irene Rice Pereira, The Circumnavigation of the Sphering of the Poles, 1964

[technicolorxsn]

I get the knee jerk reaction, but man people who hate modern art are so strange

[thewanderingconstellation]

dcxdp chat prompt?

Danny: You can de-escalate literally any situation by asking ‘are we about to kiss?’

Danny: Doesn't work with getting out of speeding tickets, though.

Damian: ...How do you know that? And why are you speaking as if you've done it multiple times already..?

Danny: ...Shit

____________________________________

Damian: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.

Danny: Wow. They sound stupid.

Damian: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense.

Danny: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”

Damian: I guess you’re right. Hey Danny, I love you.

Danny: See! Just say that!

Damian: Holy fucking shit.

Danny: If that flies over their head then, sorry Damian, but they're too dumb for you.

Damian: Danny.

____________________________________

Bruce: Jason, you need to calm down.

Jason, slamming their fists on the table: BUT HOW CAN IT BE "BIRTHDAY CAKE" FLAVOR IF A BIRTHDAY CAKE CAN BE ANY FLAVOR?!

____________________________________

Dick: What are you drinking?

Jason: Vodka.

Dick: Straight?

Jason: No, gay. Why?

____________________________________

Damian , about Danny: Can I tell them they look nice?

Dick: Sure.

Damian: Can I tell them I respect them?

Dick: Maybe, if they ask.

Damian: Should I show them an oil painting I made of us surrounded by our three cats and four dogs?

Dick: ...

Dick: I’d save that for later.

____________________________________

Tim: Hey, what have you two been up to?

Dick: We were helping Bruce write his vows, but he kicked us out because Jason was making inappropriate suggestions.

Jason: How is “Selina, I love your sweet ass” inappropriate?

____________________________________

Steph: You don't need my blessing to go kiss Bernard. In fact, I was pretty sure you were already kissing Bernard!

Tim: Nope.

Steph: In that case, as the archbishop of Tim's fully awakened gaydom, I give you my blessing to immediately leave and rectify that as soon as possible! Go now, my child, and kiss Bernard right on the lips!!!

____________________________________

Tim: I can't imagine what Jason is planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it and it won't be legal.

[rebel-by-default]

No matter how you feel about Just Stop Oil, the fact that the girl on the left is going to jail for two years and Huw Edwards got a six month suspended sentence, is astounding.

So what, we care more about protecting the painting then we do protecting young children from having pornagraphic pictures of themselves circulating online?

Insane.

[beenbaanbuun]

j have to say i love the way u write jongho so badddd ALL OF UR POSTS R SO GRRFFGGGRGDGD

anyways while we’re here… what if 🧍pt 2 of 🧍the 🧍pool fic 🧍🧍

he was so cute there 🙁🙁 (AUUGHHHGHGHGHVC) if not tho i would like to request more awkward/loser jongho he is real and has my whole heart 😞😞

thank u for writing in general tho u eat tf up everytime

okay so i am planning a part 2 to the pool fic!!!! but it’s not written yet… BUT!!!!!!!!! here is more awkward jongho for your viewing pleasure :D

(also those photos of him… your honour i love him. he’s so silly 😓)

words - 1.7k

genre - suggestive/nsfw

warnings - loser!jongho, jongho is thinking thoughts about the reader, slight dom!reader/sub!jongho, teasing, reader calls jongho good boy…, public touching off peen but also no one can tell, i think that’s it??

——————————————————————————-

if jongho were an artist then you would be his muse. right in this moment, he can find a million things he would love to replicate in oils. everything from the way your delicately painted fingernails pick at a ball of lint on your skirt to the print of lipgloss left on the half-empty coffee mug deserves to be immortalised on canvas. the fact that it's only the first date should make him feel insane, but all he can think is that perhaps if things progress between the both of you, he'll be able to find a million more things to admire.

"i like your shirt," you smile, the world immediately seeming brighter as you do. he smiles back, although it feels a bit forced. not because he doesn't want to smile back--god, just sitting here and looking at you makes him want to do nothing *but* smile--but because he feels he can do nothing but sit and stare in awe, slack jawed and eyes wide. "i haven't seen you wear that one in class before.”

that sets his face on fire, painting his cheeks a pretty shade of pink. you notice him in lectures? not just that but you notice what he wears? he casts an eye down towards the shirt that's slung loosely over his plain black t-shirt. he'd figured it was far too formal just to wear to class but if you like it... well, maybe dressing up a little more wouldn't be too much of an issue. when he looks back up, he immediately forgets what the shirt looks like, his brain flooded once more with the image of you.

"thank you… i like your shirt too," he repeats your compliment back to you, unsure of what else he should say. of course, theres so many things more that he likes than just the flimsy piece of fabric that adorns your top half, but despite the poems and soliloqies hes writing in his head, its hard to get the words out. he settles for your shirt; its easy to compliment you on that when the words have already been said by you.

"youve seen it before, though," you giggle, and his heart does a little dance in his chest. if only everything could sound as sweet as you. if he could hear you every day for the rest of his life, hes sure thered be nothing to be miserable about ever again. you bite your lower lip to stifle the sound, and he can’t quite work out how he feels about that. he wants to hear you more, but just the sight of your teeth sinking into that pink fleshy pillow is enough to make his heart trip and stumble down several flights of stairs.

holy fuck.

of course, he’s spent hours studying your face before now, sitting in lectures picking out each feature and coming up with a million and one reasons as to why he adores them. your lips are something he’s already committed to memory, the colour, the shape, the way they look wrapped around the neck of the water bottle you bring to every lecture. this is the first time he’s seen them in this light though. up close, being tugged upon by your teeth in such a manner that he can’t help but let his mind wander to some less than savoury places.

he swallows down the saliva that had begun to gather upon his tongue; he’s a gentleman and these thoughts really shouldn’t be in the forefront of his mind right now. he shouldn’t be wondering how you look on top of him, hips swaying back and forth with your lip tucked away to stifle your moans. he tries to pull his eyes away to stifle his overactive imagination, but when they land on your thighs instead, he gives up. he’s a gentleman, he can have a normal conversation while his mind runs wild with the fantasies of what he’d do to you if you were in his bed.

“it’s still a pretty shirt,” his voice is quiet, yet it still somehow manages to crack. it’s humiliating, of course it is, but it’s made even worse when the pretty sound of your laughter starts up again. it still sounds like wind chimes on an autumn day, but this time he can feel the bitter breeze that rings them nipping at his skin. he doesn’t blame you for laughing at him; he would too. in fact, he probably would’ve laughed the second he asked you out on this date if he were in your shoes. why would someone as perfect as you even bother to look at someone like him?

he’s half expecting some cruel jest from you. a little joke you make at his expense just to make yourself feel better about this weird guy you’ve found yourself on a date with. he can take it, he tells himself; it’s what he assumed would happen anyway.

but instead he hears the scrape of a mug being pushed across the table, your mouth silent except for the biting giggles that still flow freely from it. he looks up to your face once more only to see anything but the animosity he was expecting. a kind toothy grin paired with your wide eyes that he fell in love with the very first time he spotted you. you look kind, not at all like the image he’d been painting in his head. it’s a relief and the invisible noose that had been slowly tightening around his neck loosens. he can breathe again, knowing that nothing has changed from when he first set foot in the cafe, despite his body’s attempt to sabotage him.

“here,” your voice is warm, just like it always is. if your laughter is a wind chime on a cool autumn day, then your voice is most certainly the crackling fire that awaits him inside. “you finished your drink but it sounds like you need another. you can have mine, i’ll go and grab anotherfor myself.”

you begin to lift yourself from your chair, and before he even realises what he’s doing a demanding, “no,” comes from jongho. you pause, eyes flickering over to him in question. he shakes his head, more at himself than to you, yet you seem to respond, sitting yourself back down on the seat without little complaint. so obedient, he notices, although the thought is quickly pushed away by the shame he still feels. he takes a sip of your drink to soothe his throat. “i’ll get you one in a moment,” he forces his words out, “i’ve taken yours, i’m not going to make you buy a new one for yourself.”

“i don’t mind,” you say softly as jongho takes another sip, “you can just buy me something on our next date!”

and just like that, jongho’s mind just… stops. he forgets what it means to breathe, the oxygen hitching in his throat as he inhaled through his nose. the liquid his mouth refuses to slide down his neck with ease, catching right at the entrance to his throat and making him cough. he splutters, the rest of the coffee expelling itself from his mouth and flying all over his own lap. “shit,” he murmurs, hands flying into action to clean himself up, only for more coffee to slosh ungracefully over the side of the cup, “fucking hell!”

“jongho!” he can't even blink before you’re there at his side, kneeling on the cold wood floor of the cafe with a napkin in hand. it’s like you’re not even thinking when you begin to dab at his stomach with the cloth, touching his tummy so gently that it sends tingles up and down his spine. his hands fly immediately to the arms of his chair and he clings onto them for dear life.

it’s worse when your hand travels a little further south, grazing the waistband of his jeans. he squeezes his eyes shut as you pat the damp material, not sparing a single second to consider what having your hand so close to his cock might be doing to his sanity. he can feel it stirring, his underwear becoming tighter and tighter with each passing second. there’s nothing he can do about it other than hope you don’t notice—

“oh,” your hand falls limp against his thigh as your gaze locks onto the quite obvious bulge that he’s sporting. of course he is, what else would you expect when you sit there rubbing at his almost-crotch? sure, you were just trying to be helpful but now jongho is hard and it’s not like he could exactly help it.

he watches you intently as your gaze shifts to his face, looking even more beautiful from this close up. you’re mere inches away; if he were to just bend down a little, he could snag your lips in a kiss. he so badly wants to, however, he can’t imagine it would help his case at all.

“you’re hard,” you whisper to him.

he nods.

“i am,” he doesn’t know what else to say. you caught him and that’s that. what, is he supposed to deny it? how can he when your hand lays just ever-so-slightly left of the evidence.

“is it my fault?” the corner of your mouth twitches into a sly smirk, letting jongho know that you already know the answer. nevertheless, he nods, gulping down the lump that’s beginning to form in his throat. “sorry, i didn’t quite hear that.”

“yes,” he hisses out through gritted teeth, “it’s your fault.” you smile at him, beautiful and dangerous.

“so i guess that means i should fix it, right?” you hand shifts the tiniest bit, catching the edge of his erection with your finger tip. he winces, body twitching in reaction to your cruel maneuver. for someone so sweet, it seems you have a bit of a mean streak. jongho can hardly complain; you look hot sitting by his feet as you tease him. damn his shyness, honestly. if it wasn’t for that, he’d love nothing more than to show you who’s in charge. for now, though, he guesses he can let you have your fun.

“please,” he sighs as you apply a little more pressure to his bulge. to anyone else, it might just look like you’re an overly attentive girlfriend dabbing at the spilt coffee; to jongho you look like the picture of filth.

“good boy,” you whisper to him, and despite jongho’s own preference for dominance, he has to admit that those words sound so pretty coming from you. a shiver makes its way up his spine. “meet me in the bathroom in 5.”

[canaidliafail]

Stay grounded

streamer Abby x streamer f!reader 🌿

[part 1 ]. [part 2]

Not proof read like at all. pure crap. Im just horny had an idea and wrote it down. enjoy tho~ MDI cause it will get explicit in later chapters

CW: college exams, weed

“fuck, give me a caption”

“I like tits”

“literally fuck you”

you mumbled and your friends laughed, enjoying your misery. You stared at the blank space below your post and pursed your lips in concentration. Eventually you started typing cringing at every word

“trying some new products ˖◛⁺ ⑅ ♡”

and pressed “post” on the photo tossing your phone on the other side of the couch defeated. Been a presence online sure had its fun but you were also filled with the existential dread that people knew you “existed”

150k people to be exact. not much but more than you ever expected to get from your hobby. You usually posted your figurine collection from the most recent games you streamed with the occasional over the top pic of you dolled up and in clothes styled to fit the game of the month which unsurprisingly always over performed in statistics.

you had been doing this for a good two years now give or take and it was a wild turn of events considering how quickly and well your career took off. You loved the financial comfort but hated how exposed you constantly felt.

“Don't you have a stream tonight?” your friend,june, asked and you shook your head rubbing your face and squeezing your eyes shut to hopefully get rid of the persistent ache

“No, I'm resting for the week. Told them I have exams or whatever”

she passed you the blunt and you took a few puffs in silence staring into space

“Mind if I put on some music?”

“no go ahead” you mumbled and went to the kitchen to make coffee as you heard the first notes of mr.kitty after dark play in the living room.

“We need to go on a trip somewhere”. June said and Cassie agreed

“trip? where?” you shouted loud enough to be heard across the halls

“I don't know man but like, leave this town for a bit. Remember how fun we had on our last trip ?”

you smiled. Italy was fun. England was insane and Germany was borderline a fever dream. all three unique and all three with a romantic disappointment that entertained your friend group for months and you had to admit you had been craving leaving your city for a while now. Had it not been for the fact that you were on your last semester at college you would be somewhere else every other week -without any romantic endeavors-

You made the quickest shittiest coffee and went back to the living room sitting on the floor “Once Im done with exams we can go anywhere you want” you promised. Your phone pinged the flash going on and off

“What the fuck”

“Im suing for optical damage”

they yelled and grabbed your phone tossing it your way and you all but laughed

“Sorry sorry my bad forgot to turn off flash alerts”

You tapped your screen and almost choked on your coffee fumbling to unlock your phone the lyrics blurring in the background until they became a numbing buzz

staygrounded69 just made a new post

you tapped the icon and saw the new photo. You couldn’t quite understand what it was about her but she had you hooked and entirely captivated. It wasn’t a crush but you always found yourself checking for new posts or streams.

Abby, known by her public name staygrounded was a gamer who streamed here and there. In a more a casual stream she eventually explained that her nickname was a jab by her friend when she asked for ideas and he said “staygrounded, get it? cause of your fear of heights?” and it just stuck by.

That wasn’t why she had blown up though. No it was due to her coming out as a lesbian and that fueled every female straight and not. She was after all, a tall muscular woman with beautiful blonde hair and a face with unique features that deserved appreciation in the form of oil paintings and perhaps a face seating

you shook your head trying not to let your mind fall too deep into hopeless thirsty thoughts and admired the new photo. a casual gym pic. Fuck she wasn’t even flexing her muscles or anything. she wore the baggiest grey sweatpants with a black hoodie and a black cap with her braided hair and the lower half of her face peaking through sitting on a bench casually

and yet you felt weak. you bit your lower lip and chewed on it a little

“Cotton????” your friends called out to you by your streamer nickname and snapped their fingers. you looked up feeling your cheeks heat up

“aaah did she post?”

“mhm” you nod excitedly and went back to looking at the photo. You tapped the share button and posted it on your story leaving a small note

“her <3”

not been shy of publicly “aPprEciAtiNg” her since she was hell of a popular figure and would for sure not see your reshare.you let out a sigh and june smirked

“what ails you my victorian maiden”

“I love women” you said dreamily and took a sip of your coffee

“Wish they loved you back” Cassie bit and you grabbed your pillow and went over to her “oh you’re dead” you barked and she laughed as you started playfully smothering her with the stuffed item.

“alright time for me to bounce” june said first and grabbed her things “my teacher will probably be up my ass for coming so late” she groaned and you looked at the time “yeah I need to also get going”

“sucks to suck. Ill go take a nap” Cassie said and grabbed her things.

you and June both had afternoon classes while Cassie was happily a drop out who did seasonal work and rested during winter. The two of you were very visibly jealous of her not having to deal with the pain of exams.

“Yeah yeah get over yourself” June said jabbing her at her sides and Cassie yelped running in front of her, June chasing her down the stairs and you being the last one to leave the apartment to lock the door.

•••

You were in class when it happened. Your week ended with a babging 3 hour lecture entirely dedicated to pattern making. You were ready to grab the scissors and stab yourself to end this. You friend also seemed to slowly wither away while your teacher remained as chipper as always

“Now regarding coats-“ she continued and you pushed your chair away from the desk softly getting up to grab fresh paper to start copying the notes she was starting to draw on the board

You spread it out on your desk and grabbed the ruler and pencil and started measuring a No.44 coat purposefully being slower than usual so that you wouldn’t have to do much work. Your brain was squeezed dry for the day and this class was always the most difficult

you grabbed your phone to take a picture of the finished measurements and pattern on the board to have it for later. You opened the camera and zoomed in ready to take a pic

staygrounded69 liked your story

came the first notification and you fumbled with your phone as it nearly fell off of your hands. You sat down on your chair and stared at the icon for a hard long minute not wanting to tap it and see just a fan account instead. You decided to stay delusional

staygrounded69 liked your post

staygrounded69 liked your post

a few minutes later came another few notifications and then that was it. You opened your page and tapped the username that led to her profile.

holy shit

it really was her

its fucking her

You breathed in quitting her page and tapping her username again still in disbelief. She saw your photos. She had specifically liked the ones with your face in.

“Refrain from using your phones in class” your teacher reminded you and you were snapped back into reality

right patterns

coats

you shoved your phone in your bag and tried to focus on the sheet in front of you. for the remaining half hour you faked working on the class assignment and pretending to draw lines and correct them and the second your professor dismissed you, you bolted out of the class and grabbed your phone and checked for any new notifications. There was none and you tried to ignore the soft pang of disappointment that filled your chest.

You did hope she would follow you back or something but that was ridiculous considering how famous she was and by your knowledge she only followed her friends the she hang out with outside her online careers which was a dreadfully low number of people meaning there was no reason for her to follow you

you called june “you won't believe what happened”

“Oh my god. Its about that hot beefy streamer isn’t it?”

“Yes yes it is!”

and you heard screaming on the other line till the mic peaked and muted her out entirely. You gave her a few moments of squealing till she was back on the line ready to question you

“spill. what happened? Did she see your story? did she reply to it?”

“alright no nothing that important but-“

“oh come onnnn”

“BUT!” you interrupted and she waited for you to continue

“but she liked two of my pictures. You know what this means? it means she went through my page and liked two of my pictures June!”

“Wow oh my she will propose to you. She is so in love oh god”

You kept hyping up each other’s delusions all the way to your bus station

“did she text you ? any other notifications?”

you pulled your phone away and checked your page.nothing new so far

“no nothing yet, oh my bus is here”

“alright keep me updated if anything happens”

you hung up and walked inside the vehicle and sat on a plastic seat daydreaming of every possible scenario between you and Abby. However the more you sat the more the high of the excitement wore off and the more you settled back into your usual sorrowful self

ok and? she liked your posts. hell she is probably a player and likes every cute girls posts

you thought and sank further into the seat drowning in the soft music playing from your headphones. you tapped your foot on beat and rested your head against the cold misty windows of the bus. You started lying to yourself pretending this didn’t affect you much and that you'd be over her by tomorrow

You walked back home and tossed your bag carelessly near the shoe rack while taking off your boots and coat in one go leaving them on the floor not caring to tidy up. You went to the sofa and turned on your ps4 feeling excited that you finally had a few hours to dedicate to yourself

You logged into assassin’s creed valhalla ready to continue. This was your third play through and the only game you refused to play on stream. You liked keeping it as a way to comfort yourself and disassociate. You were planning on eventually getting tge ¼ scale Eivor statue that cost the not so humble amount of 1,2k $. Until you were ready to commit to such an expense though you settled for seeing your favorite character in game and left the statue in your wishlist amongst the other figurines you wanted to get

in between enjoying the game you checked the time and remembered today was Abbys turn to stream. You hated to admit that you had purposely made a schedule around hers so that you wouldn’t miss any time she went live, good example being now. You unlocked your phone leaving her stream open waiting for it to start while simultaneously running around in the forest, leisurely exploring the areas in your game

“Hey everyone! Can you all hear me fine? musics not too loud?”

came abbys voice and you snapped your head to your phone looking at her. fuck she was wearing that grey sleevless tank-top again

“Todays stream will be more chill. thought we could just catch up and chat a bit. I ugh had a long day at the gym”

she continued in her usual timid tone. On first look you would never think a woman like her would be so damn shy but she was. Or maybe it was just the camera and audience that caused her to be a bit more chaotic. Its not like you knew what she really was like behind the lens.

“Oh hey Alice nice to see you again!” she said taking her time to greet most of the people viewing her

“Oh we have Nora and Manny in the chat too” she said with a soft laugh. Nora. Oh you knew Nora. Abby usually posted with two women. Both seemed to be friends with her but could equally be suspected to be her girlfriend. One was Nora. They went to the same gym together and often hung out on stream. The second one was Ellie. Another streamer who in the beginning had a very well known hatred towards Abby until one day they miraculously made up and started occasionally hanging out.

not that it mattered to you if either of them was dating Abby…

“Next games? hm..Im not sure. Any suggestions”

you hesitated. You were a silent watcher most days. actually you had never said a damn word other than a donation to her stream and when she called you by your username back then to thank you, you felt so embarrassed that you decided to be one of the lurkers in her stream. Must have been a year ago or so when no one knew you either so there wasn’t a big deal made out of your name being mentioned. You felt stupid for even considering that anyone knew you at all to care if you left a comment. Even in the slim chance that your audience overlapped no one would really bother making a big deal out of it

“Have you tried ac valhalla?” you looked at your comment again and again till deciding to press send and then wait

“yeah not sure about that one..” she seemed to be reading and expanding a bit on which games she considered giving it a go or not. You felt a bit of relief thinking your comment was lost in the sea of others and resumed your game only to pause it shortly after

“Cotton? heh, cute nickname…I haven’t tried any of the assassins creed games but Ill check it out” You heard and your hands started to shake in excitement your ears burning from the heat.

Its not like Abby had any unique accent but the way she said your nickname made you twirl your hair and giggle to yourself. You grabbed your phone again

“oh really? she is?” you heard abby say and you read the comments the excitement turning into plain horror and mortification when you saw people start to recognise you and tease you for recommending the game they had probably seen you continuously post on your stories for a year straight. You exited the stream in shame and gently put your phone on the coffee table continuing your game.

I will end it all for real

this was my last straw

By the time the embarrassment of this minor inconvenience wore off You were in the middle of finishing the Granterbridge arc when you decided to post another story with a short caption regarding the characters. Your phone slowly started going off with notifications with people responding to your story and being in a sour mood you decided to mute it and continue your game till you fell asleep on the couch. The only reason you woke up was because you actually had a really shitty sofa with the thinnest pillows that did nothing to shield you from the hard wooden planks beneath.

You groaned in pain and looked at the screen of your Tv. Your ps4 was on rest mode and at 4.00 am you couldn’t be bothered to do anything about that so you just grabbed your phone and walked to your bedroom quickly going through the unusually vast amount of notifications in case there was something from your friends that you had missed

you stopped in front of your bedroom door and rubbed your eyes. your mind was blank. it was 4.00 am

you read the notification again

staygrounded69: hi

••••

heres my ko-fi tip jar if you enjoy my work 🤍

[funeralpartyclown]

Oo if ghfghhhh he’s RUINING MY LIFE!!!!! I have never been hyperfixated on a single character it feels so strange.

Putting the rest under the bar bc it’s embarrassing please excuse my rambling I need to talk about him or I will go insane I CANNOT talk about LL to my friends I would perish if they knew how weird I am. Also praying.. some of you are nd and understand so I don’t look deranged here

help me oh my god. I can’t sleep at night because thinking about the fact I have free time the next day to write and draw anything related to him makes me ILL from excitement. I have been falling asleep later and later because i literally am incapable of not thinking about it and I cannot sit still the joy of new hyperfixation is so painful I cannot breathe. I almost puked in the car the other day because I remembered how fun the next chapter of my fic would be to write. The week after I saw LL for the first time I was going through something and needed an outlet so every day I would get like 3 hours of sleep and spent so much time drawing almost all LL related things that I made the muscles in my arm sore and rubbed off the skin where I hold my pencil. I then started writing again and made it even worse. Starting painting again and spent 2 days on an oil painting of the devil, a snake, took a canvas and used clay molded around it to form snakes. Made a bunch of LL themed jewelry and cut the fuck out of my hands. The other day I spent 3 hours carving knives out of wood and carefully drilling holes into animal bones for a Dale themed necklace. Can someone gun me down I cannot take it anymore WORMS IN MY BRAIN!!!!!!! MAKE IT STOP. Why can I not just be normal about things and like medias a regular ammount.

[art-that-fucks-you-up-tournament]

SET FOURTEEN - ROUND ONE - MATCH SEVEN

"Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks" (1880–1891 - Ilya Repin) / "Garden of Earthly Delights" (1490-1510 - Hieronymus Bosch)

REPLY OF THE ZAPOROZHIAN COSSACKS: Uuuuuuooo I’m pretty sure somebody has submitted the world famous Repin with the fella holding his dead son, and yeah that one is truly harrowing and I think it should be in the final bracket cause it would sweep but Repin has such a range and it’s all very deeply felt and sensitive stuff. For this one he did a couple of versions - you could pick either because they’re both rich in a really immediate sense of humanity. Again on the technical side this is a truly bonkers piece of work because he stitched its elements together from countless studies of people he knew and the result is still somehow a Realist masterpiece rather than the patchwork amalgamation you’d expect.

And each figure isn’t just irresistibly human - he gives all of them so much tangible warmth (the riotous laughter! The attention paid to detail in their clothes! The irritated dog in the bottom left corner) and the fact that theyre all his friends and colleagues is really charming. Dunno if its like “molten lava” kind of evocation of emotion but it certainly makes me feel something. ( @idiotpalespiral )

GARDEN OF EARTHLY DELIGHTS: think it's one of the greatest odes to human imagination and it's insane that it was painted around 1500. it's hard to overstate how innovate and unique bosch's art is. besides, he probably hadn't even ever taken acid in his life, so i don't know how he did that (@cuties-in-codices)

(The "Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks" is an oil on canvas painting by Ukranian born Russian artist Ilya Repin. A large number of the "Cossacks" are modelled after either friends of Repin or people he saw around him, including the bald head belonging to the Grand Chamberlain of the court of the Russian Emperor who declined to be added and Repin painted in anyway. This painting measures 203 cm × 358 cm (80 in × 141 in) and is located at the State Russian Museum in Saint Petersburg. The submitter originally submitted the preliminary version of the piece.

"The Garden of Earthly Delights" is a triptych oil painting by Hieronymus Bosch. It measures 205.5 cm × 384.9 cm (81 in × 152 in) and is located in the Museo del Prado, Madrid.)

[purpleajisai]

The history in fiction: Parallels between historical Japan and the Narutoverse

Part 1: The era of the Six Paths

Naruto may not be a historical fiction and most people will think that the utmost historical reference in the series is the fact that ninja were a thing in feudal Japan. But what if I told you that there is an insane amount of historical parallels in the series? That we could actually place the events of the main timeline within real periods of Japanese history? In this two-part series, I’ll be explaining the many parallels, references and design inspirations of the main events and generations that shaped the course of the series that we all know and love. I’ll start with the era of the Six Paths (starting from Kaguya and ending with Indra and Ashura), and part 2 will be about the Warring States (dynamic between the Senju and Uchiha). At the end of each part, I’ll add useful links so that you can deepen your investigation and see my sources. Without further ado, let’s start overanalyzing.

Historical references and parallels in character design and dynamics

I’d place this particular era of the Narutoverse in the Heian period of Japan (or at least the most important people, the brothers Indra and Ashura). Considering that we’re spanning 3 generations here, I’ll separate the individuals involved in the following way:

Kaguya: End of Nara period (710 AD - 784 AD)

Hagoromo and Hamura: Early Heian period (794 AD - 1185 AD)

Indra and Ashura: Heian period (794 AD - 1185 AD)

Kaguya

On a side note, I’d like to add that I’m not really considering Tenji in the list above because he’s an anime only character. However, his case caught my eye so I’ll discuss him as well. Let’s start by evaluating Kaguya and Tenji then. Kaguya’s character design is a very classical archetype of Heian beauty standards and clothing. Long, straight hair with flowy kimono and a delicate face. Her unusual eyebrows are no coincidence as well, as in the Heian period the practice of hikimayu was commonplace in noblewomen. 

"Hiki means "pull" and mayu means "eyebrows". Aristocratic women used to pluck or shave their eyebrows and paint new ones using a powdered ink called haizumi, which was made of soot from sesame or rapeseed oils." (source)

Left: Filler anime episode // Right: Manga panel

Above: Hikimayu through the ages of Japan

Another interesting fact that I’d like to point out is that Kaguya is a character with striking similarity to a Japanese folk tale, in this case the Tale of Princess Kaguya (Kaguyahime no monogatari), whose origin we can trace back to Heian Japan. The Tale of Princess Kaguya tells the story of a little baby girl who “fell from the skies” and was found by a couple of old farmers inside of a bamboo. She grew up to be extremely beautiful and was courted by lots of noblemen, but she rejected them all insisting that somebody would come for her, as she looked at the moon. Of course, Naruto provides us with a different ending to the story but this similarity can’t be overlooked.

Above: "The Receding Princess" from The Japanese Fairy Book, 1908

Moving on to Tenji, it gets a bit more complicated to place him in an exact historical moment as he has elements of many different periods. His hairstyle resembles the styling of the Jomon period, whereas the entire setting in the filler episodes are more similar to the Nara period with the many small kingdoms fighting for dominance within a vast land, just like pre-unification Japan. Therefore, I place Kaguya and Tenji at the end of the Nara period, because we see how Kaguya takes over Tenji’s rulership and is regarded as a noblewoman after she casts the first Infinite Tsukuyomi. I have to rely on some filler in this case because otherwise I can’t find a logical explanation as to why Hagoromo was so well settled and had a large group of people following his teachings if it wasn’t for Kaguya ruling some land that originally belonged to Tenji. 

Hagoromo and Hamura

Let’s start with the second generation. Following the events of the end of the Nara period I quoted in the previous section, Hagoromo and Hamura would go in the beginning of the Heian period. Their character designs feature long, flowy tunics without a visible belt. Here you have an image of men’s clothes through Japanese history, the third one being a feudal lord of the Heian period. Compare and contrast with these anime and manga images.

Above: “Men’s Japanese clothes” by Glimja

Left: Filler anime episode with both // Right: Hagoromo manga panel

Again, since we get very few manga panels related to Hagoromo and his sons, I’ll refer once again to the filler episodes where he is shown as the ruler of a village. The spot within the Heian period in which I’m placing Hagoromo would be around 100 years after the Taika reforms which established one of the first codes of law in Japan and (Taihō code) and divided the country in provinces ruled by feudal lords. Curiously, around the time where the Taika reforms happened, there was an emperor called Tenji. 

Indra and Ashura

The third generation of the alien-human hybrids is here, and I place them in the Heian period as well. My main reason to consider Indra and Ashura in the Heian period is the fact that this is the exact time period where the samurai originate. A common misconception is that a samurai is a Japanese warrior highly trained in the martial arts and weapons. While this statement holds some truth, the samurai were the military social class of feudal Japan, which means that there were people who were of the samurai class but had never touched a weapon in their lives. Therefore, samurai clans were not entirely composed by warriors but also had a number of people who lived a more “civilian” lifestyle. And you may be wondering, “what do the historical samurai have to do with the ninja that we see in Naruto?”. The answer is: more than you think. Historically speaking, the ninja is a samurai specialised in stealth and sneaking, the only difference with the Naruto universe is that the ninja we know and love from the show possess chakra and perform techniques with that. 

The story of Indra and Ashura is strongly tied to the origin of ninja clans in Naruto, just as the Heian period is the origin of the samurai clans. From this time period I’d like to highlight the myth of Minamoto no Yorimitsu, more commonly known as Minamoto no Raiko. His story says that he slayed demons (yes, really) and saved many maidens from being abused by drunk oni with his great sword, Dojigiri Yasutsuna. The difference between myth and legend is that myths hold some kind of historical fact whereas legends are purely fictional. Minamoto no Raiko has been heavily mythified and his story sounds unbelievable or too much like a fantasy story until you realise that he did exist and that his sword is kept in a museum. Doesn’t this resemble how the origins of ninja in Naruto are almost like fantasy stories up until Hagoromo shows up in the 4th war and explains that everything was real all along? 

Above: Ukiyo-e of Minamoto no Raiko and others fighting the demon Shuten Doji.

Just as Minamoto no Raiko is considered the first samurai, Indra could be considered the first shinobi. He was the first to channel and shape chakra to create jutsu, and he was considered as part of the legends surrounding Hagoromo. Please compare these two panel sequences, one is from earlier in the story and the second one is Hagoromo’s version. 

The brothers’ character design can also be correlated with the Heian period. Indra’s eyebrows seem to be real but resemble the hikimayu design of Kaguya’s eyebrows, however he does add eye makeup. The people who wore makeup in the Heian period were nobles (mostly noblewomen), once again reinforcing my point that this family started out as feudal lords and eventually fused with the warrior class, becoming ninja clans. Although the character design for Indra and Ashura isn’t 100% equal to Heian Japan’s male clothing, the inspiration is subtle yet visible. I’d say that the inspiration is mostly for the plot rather than the appearance of the character. If you’d like to see more real Heian period clothing, this link has recreations of the outfits of the characters in the Tale of Genji, by Murasaki Shikibu.

Sources

These are some useful links that I’ve referred to while writing this post. I’d like to invite you to read them if you’d like to do further research on the beautiful history of Japan.

https://www.britannica.com/biography/Tenji

https://www.britannica.com/event/Taika-era-reforms

https://www.japanhousela.com/articles/princess-kaguya-a-tale-for-the-ages

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hikimayu#:~:text=Hiki means "pull" and mayu,from sesame or rapeseed oils.

https://www.thoughtco.com/beauty-in-heian-japan-195557

https://history.hanover.edu/hhr/22/HHR2022miller.pdf

https://www.tumblr.com/heian-collection/30869762024/beauty-ideal-in-heian-japan?source=share

https://thegate12.com/article/264

Thanks for reading! Stay tuned for part 2, the Warring States era. Special thanks to @al-hekima-madara-blog for actually motivating me to write all of this down 💜

[nordstarr]

what are your favorite present day tomark fics? I want to read about them being old…..

SO GLAD YOU ASKED!!!

by the talented @phoebesbridgers:

I miss you too much (to be mad anymore) - Explicit - 2.8k

He can be normal about Tom DeLonge sleeping in his house. He doesn’t need to think about old times, the bad or the good. Not everything has to mean something. Sometimes a buddy staying over is just a buddy staying over.

let's make this last forever - Teen - 1.9k

Tom has had a lot of ridiculous ideas over the years, but this one – this one surely takes the cake. "You want... to date me..." Mark repeats slowly. "I want to court you," Tom corrects, and Mark barks out a laugh.

I'm here to lift you off the ground ('cause I'm always down) - Teen - 2.9k

It’s Tom who cares for him when he’s being shitty and uncooperative. It’s Tom who sees all the worst parts of him and chooses him anyway. It’s Tom who looked at him in wonderstruck awe at age sixteen and who loves him just the same—maybe even more—at age forty-seven.

if you rewrite your life, may I still play a part? - Explicit - 3k

He can’t take back all the pain he’s caused, all the years they’ve lost, but he can give Mark this. Himself. He just hopes he can be enough.

cool about it - Explicit - 7k

“You shouldn’t—I mean, I could help you with that?” Tom suggests, trying to sound casual about it despite the fact that this is an insane thing to offer your best friend. They’ve done a lot of shit that’s blurred the lines of their friendship, yeah, but not this. Never this. “If you want.”

whatever you want me to do (I will do) - Explicit - 5.1k

“Hold on,” Mark interjects, noticing a jar on the nightstand. “Is this the bubble bath and coconut oil thing you’re always talking about?” Tom beams at him. “You’re gonna be so fucking relaxed when I’m through with you, Mark Hoppus.”

always missing what we can't get back - Explicit - 5.4k

Tom’s concern is evident as he frowns. “What’s wrong?” Mark shrugs. “Just, you know. Another birthday. Another year older. Always weird.” “Mark.” “I already know what you’re gonna say,” Mark counters. “Just let me be a little weird about it, okay?”

you never touched me (but I felt you everywhere) - Explicit - 3.7k

Mark doesn’t know what exactly comes over him when he fires off the text to Tom. Just that he misses him, misses feeling close to him, and he wants to do something about it, damn it. He presses send before he can second guess himself. Mark Hoppus: hey what are you wearing right now

'til we're food for the worms to eat - Teen - 2.1k

“You know, you actually look kind of relaxed when you’re painting. Like you’re in your own little world or some shit.” Mark chuckles, a soft but bitter sound. “You mean until I get frustrated and throw it in the trash, right?” “Yeah, dude, no more of that,” Tom chides. He nudges Mark’s good ankle with his socked foot. “I love your clouds, Mark. Be nicer to your clouds.”

past the blood and bruise - Mature - 3.7k

An old injury bothers Tom and Mark knows just the thing to help.

don't blame me (love made me crazy) - Explicit - 3.5k

Tom tries to spice things up in his and Mark's relationship and it goes horribly, comically wrong.

come a little closer now - Explicit - 3.4k

Usually, it’s the other way around. Usually, Tom is the one wasted to hell off some expensive hotel liquor and Mark is the one keeping him upright.

who's gonna stop us from walking back into rekindled flames - Explicit - 7k

“I can’t fucking believe you, Mark Hoppus. Can’t believe you asked them to play Angels when we walked off,” Tom says, awed and giddy and disbelieving and so disgustingly in love, as he backs Mark into the nearest supply closet so that they’re out of sight. The closet is dimly lit, a muted hum of conversation filtering through from the chaos beyond the door, the muffled sounds of the crowd filing out of Petco Park. Mark giggles, delighted, and surrenders to Tom’s playful kisses, their lips meeting with a familiar heat. “I’m the best. C’mon. You can say it.” Or: two completely different hook-ups, eight years apart.

I always see my youth in you - Explicit - 12.1k

Five times growing older kind of sucks, and one time Mark realizes it’s actually not so bad.

by the talented @former-ghosts:

the long road between - Mature - 1.3k

Somewhere in the middle of getting older and feeling young.

here's to all the days ahead - Explicit - 3.5k

Nothing better at the of the year than a romantic night in.

same lines, steadier hands - Mature - 5.3k

It's a little bit about outdoing your friend and his wife, and a little bit about doing things right this time. Maybe mostly about doing things right this time.

memory in black and white - Explicit - 4.5k

He hadn’t expected for his breath to get caught in his throat at the sight of it. At that silly little picture, so clearly made by someone who’s never tattooed before, the slightly unsteady lines and uneven shapes, the stark contrast of black ink against the paleness of his skin. It’s beautiful, in the most ridiculous of ways.

new names for old things - Part 1 of Online Songs - Mature - 3.8k

The most awkward thing about coming out as a couple is that people just aren't taking the hint.

feel you even when you're not there - Part 2 of Online Songs - Mature - 7.1k

The response to their relationship has been overwhelmingly supportive, which he’s grateful about, but some people are shamelessly nosy about the details. Honestly, he doesn’t know what he expected. (Tomark is real, and the internet does what the internet does best.)

[smute]

i know how insane this sounds but laundry has become one of my favorite pastimes. i am 100% serious. i was looking forward to doing laundry today because the weather is perfect for airdrying and was shocked to find my hamper empty? im also finding more and more enjoyment in housework in general. i love cleaning and tidying up, now that i am finally somewhat organized and most things have a designated place. i have somehow managed to turn this sisyphean hell into a wellspring of dopamine. most chores provide both visible progress and instant gratification and i now realize that the only reason why i always hated doing them was that i was overwhelmed with too many other responsibilites. i cook dinner almost every night now, even after a busy day, and i dont mind doing the dishes. in fact, i delight in the low stakes challenge of loading the dishwasher as efficiently as possible and i love handwashing the pots that are too big to fit. i vacuum almost daily because it is so satisfying, and i spend every free minute decorating my space, hanging pictures, making my bed, watering the plants. i oil squeaky door hinges now, and i rewire lamps, i pull weeds in the front yard and paint walls in the basement. PLEASE WILL SOMEBODY JUST LET ME BE A QUEER STAY AT HOME DAD im not built for salaried work

[chryblossomjjk]

bts fic recommendations | 03.14.23

→ hi friends! this is a little segment i do every tuesday (reviewsday get it, aren’t i funny, pls tell me how funny i am) where i read and review two-three fics. as a content creator, i know how big of a role other creators play in your growth, therefore, i want to do my part in making sure everyone gets the recognition they deserve! so with that being said, please check out the amazing fics listed below. make sure to like, reblog, and leave feedback! ♡ #reviewsday #kikirecs

banana clip - @vvh0adie (jhs x jjk x reader | angst, fluff, smut)

summary: nature is great at putting you to sleep. but man-made objects are just as good at waking you up with annoyance. and they’re even better at messing with your senses overall. but nature also made the two most wonderful men who you get to call your boyfriends, and they know just how to comfort you.

for one, let me just say this graphic goes crazy eep!!!

also let me just say, you would write a mean fantasy fic bc the scene setting in the first segment is so good. YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT WORLD BUILDING?? YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT WORLD BUILDING???? YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT MAKING THE SETTING REFLECT THE CHARACTER??? THIS IS IT!!

also i think the representation in the fic is so fucking important like- to have the reader be queer, chubby, and neurodivergent and then depicting in detail the things that come along with it is really great!! especially bc so many young adults read fanfic and thats such a complex time where you're juggling different parts of your identity and how they coexist!! just seriously thank you for writing this!!

"His large hands make haste of grabbing as much of your ass as he possibly can and giving it a good squeeze, oil slick painted nails leaving crescent indentation on your melanated skin. The succulent pain causes a moan to escape your lips. You always knew how to break them down, but he could play too."

oof when i tell u i read this paragraph multiple fucking times bc YOU PICKED OIL SLICK NAIL HOBI I COULD DESTROY MY FUCKING ROOM RN LMAO

“Ah, fuck, it’s times like these when I remember how much of a slut you are.”

dom hobi rattles the fucking peanut in my skull bc i know for a fact that man is the kinkest dom sex freak out here PLS!!! and the mentions of kook throughout made everything incredibly hotter like uGh!! and then i really love when sweet aftercare n cleaning up is added into fanfic after a dommy moment :') <3 overall, this was the hottest shit ever pls fucking read this yall NOW I SAY NOW LMAO!!

paired & pierced - @yoon-kooks (jjk x reader | college au, smut, fluff)

summary: when your professor assigns a collaborative midterm project, you’re paired up with jeon jungkook, the quiet grumpy smartass who keeps to himself and doesn’t fuck with popular kids like you. if you can win him over, he might give you a taste of the tatted and pierced body he’s carefully tucked away beneath those oversized hoodies.

so as soon as i saw that pairing i knew i was a goner!! but babe, this fic made me discover kinks i didn't even know i had like erm?? CAWK TATTOO??? OF A SNAKE???

I HAVE A NEW FETISH LMAO!!! thats like one of the hottest visuals i've ever read in fanfic and it will plague my daydreams from here on out!

where does one find a friend like oc who hooks you up with men like JUNG HOSEOK ?? she is so real for that (one is incredibly lonely despite having friends and never gets checked on by those around her unless they need something which i feel like is so relatable to so many people like i can totally tell why so many readers were drawn to this fic)!! and tim can catch this knuckle sandwich bc FUCK HIM >:(

also the newborn joke made me audibly crack up like the bleak dry humor is fucking hilarious to me-

and i just love their dynamic? like the way you wrote their dialogue is just so natural, which seems simple on the outside but as fic writer i understand that writing believable dialogue is so INSANELY difficult like you literally have to be an a1 writer to nail it as good as you did in this fic!! the talent is screaming!! same goes for the smut!! it was so fucking hot and everything kook said had my coochie wet pls!! i just love the switch for apathetic to complete sex god uGh! i love u n this saur fucking much!!

nature cafe - @virgodolls (jjk x reader | s2l)

oh my goodness i love this so much! like when you told me you were a new writer on here i was already extremely excited, but after reading this, my excitement for your future works has doubled, TRIPLED! you are bringing something new and refreshing to the table! like don't get me wrong i looooveee smut (legit all i write is smut-) but slice of life content is kind of hard to find on this platform! so reading this was such a welcomed change and i loved it wholeheartedly!

you really have a knack for writing in the perspective of the character, which is not an easy thing to do AT ALL! ITS SO DIFFICULT! AND YOU EXECUTED IT SO FLAWLESSY HERE AND ITS ONLY YOUR FIRST FIC? PLS THE TALENT IS UNREAL!!

i also really loved this oc! as someone who is also v sensitive and easily overwhelmed, i didn't find her annoying at all, just incredibly endearing and relatable! THIS JUNGKOOK IS ALSO SUCH BOYFRIEND MATERIAL AND SO SWEET LIKE IM TRYING TO PICK HIM UP TOO UM??? anyways, thank you for sharing your writing! its definitely so scary at first but you did it and you should be v proud of yourself!! i am proud of you!!

[feeshybeach]

I've been brainrotting a rarepair/crackship the past couple of days. I fear it's terminal.. I can not get Scott Smajor/Technoblade out of my HEAD!! Despite this, I still can not think of a ship name for them. The funniest one I can think of is Majorblade. Thus, that's the one I'm going with.

Some highlights of what I've been thinking under the cut o7

Please ignore spelling errors. My phone is mean, and my eyesight is bad. 3:

First and foremost, thank u for looking at my autism fueled insanity! This is yours now.

Scott and Techno have a pretty strong dymanic going for them. When you first see them together, you'd, probably, think the far larger piglin brute would be the most bloodthirsty of the two. While correct (blood for the blood god and all that), it's Scott, who's the most vicious during battle. It does not matter if the battle in question is one fought by words or swords - Scott will try to come out on top. Unless, of course, it's one of his friends, then Techno would likely have to step in so Scott doesn't do his classic move of suicide.

When the two of them train together, it is insanely gay. Sure, it's artful, and it's like a classical oil painting from one of the great masters unfolding in real time. But I can not stress enough how homoerotic it is. There is strong queer tension between the two of them. This is an undeniable fact, and i refuse to accept criticism otherwise.

I think a pretty well accepted headcanon is that Scott Is Magical. In my daydreams of gay block men, I expand upon this. To me, It is a love language of Scott to use his abilities on you / for you. Magic takes a lot! It takes a lot of time, will, commitment, energy, and all that good shit. Most importantly, it takes a lot out of the caster - large bouts of magic inturn makes the user temporarily weaker. To willingly put yourself at a disadvantage in a universe where Things Try To Kill You, Often is a level of trust and love that is hard to properly put into words.

Despite this, Scott takes the time to painstakingly add enchantments to Technos items. There is, of course, enchanting tables and books, and then there is a master of their craft. It is like comparing a microwave meal of Mac and Cheese to a homemade five cheese Mac and cheese that's baked in the oven with bread crumbs on top. They're both Mac and cheese but ones definitely fuckin better.

I feel like Scott would intentionally add extra protection to Techno's fighting gear - add enchantments that enhance Techno's strengths while also trying to cover his weaknesses. For example, if Techno often leaves his sides unprotected during a rampage, Scott adds extra protection in those spots, so Techno is overall better protected.

For context, I'm a Bedrock Minecraft player. My piglin knowledge comes from primarily Bedrock. Okay? Okay.

Everyone knows that Piglins adore gold. They snort, chuff, wag their ears, and rush after gold once it's dropped. I like to imagine that it's very much a love language for piglins and piglin hybrids to exchange or generally gift gold to those they love and care for. Basically - Scott has an overwhelming amount of gold jewelry and items from Techno. He cherishes them all, recognizing it for what it is.

I have a personal headcanon that giving a piglin or a piglin hybrid a block of pure, overworld, gold is the same as a marriage proposal. I think it's really funny to imagine Techno giving Scott one of these blocks and Scott to be like. "Ah yes, this is a big gold thing. Thank you!" And Techno being like "??? :( babe...." The same could apply to Scott's habit of giving lovers Poppies. Scott giving Techno, not just one, but an entire stack of poppies only for Techno to say thanks. It leads to another moment of "??? :( babe...."

[charcadett]

Can I get some good old domestic headcannons with either Larry or Brassius? Idk like their morning routines with their spouse. I bet Brassius’s bead head is hilarious

Yessssss, two of my favs. I had fun thinking about their morning routines. Larry’s mornings are normal (with little sprinkles of odd) and Brassius’ mornings technically aren’t even mornings half the time. I also think Brassius wakes up how moms wake up. You know, with a full body jolt and wide eyes.

Domestic Mornings With Larry & Brassius

Larry

- Mornings with Larry are, ultimately, uneventful. He sticks to his routine like a well-oiled machine, and it’s up to you whether you want to get up with him. While he cherishes the mornings that you spend with him, he recognizes it’s early and won’t begrudge you for sleeping in. He doesn’t use an alarm clock. He wakes up at the same time every day. It’s earlier than you’d expect. The first time he accidentally wakes you up getting out of bed, you look at the time, confused. It’s to make up for his insanely long showers and breakfast at his favorite diner.

- You can get him to stay in bed and cuddle for a little bit if you cook him breakfast. Larry will never pass up a chance to eat something you make. Having you up also helps to get him out of the shower faster. If you don’t want to cook, he’d be ecstatic to buy you breakfast. He enjoys the company. It helps him feel more energized for the workday.

- On the weekends, while he wakes up at the same time, he’ll lay in bed for hours on end waiting for you to wake up. If you talk in your sleep, he’ll respond to you like any other conversation. It’s the only time you can get him to do nothing, and you aren’t even awake for it. As soon as you open your eyes, he’s out of bed. He brings you a cup of coffee and asks if you want to get breakfast somewhere. He already has the menu pulled up on his phone for a place he wants to try and will lay next to you while you scroll through it.

- Fun facts: Larry’s morning breath is really bad. He doesn’t move when he sleeps, and sometimes, he sleeps with his eyes open. He’s scared you a few times. He won’t wake you up when he leaves the house. You’ll text him asking where he is, and he responds, “I went for a walk.” accompanied by a picture of a bird. Brings you back food if he goes out to get some; he has your order memorized.

Brassius

- Mornings with Brassius are interesting because he doesn’t sleep often. When he does, it’s always at ridiculous and erratic times. One night, he’ll go to bed at 8 AM, another Brassius is asleep by 10 PM. On top of that, he might sleep for two hours or twelve. It really depends on the night. To him, morning is the time you wake up, and breakfast is the first meal you eat that day. He can go days without sleeping sometimes. When he eventually rolls into bed, it’s in his clothes, covered in paint and clay.

- Because of this, Brassius doesn’t have a morning routine. On some mornings, when he’s got a particular sculpture he’s working on, he’s out of bed and in his studio in a flash. On other mornings, he’ll sit on the couch wrapped in a blanket with a cup of coffee. You’ve even caught him pacing back and forth and muttering to himself a few times. The one thing that stays the same, is that he always greets you with a kiss on the cheek. Brassius also tends to be a bit grumpy when he first wakes up, so he won’t say much.

- Where you fit into his schedule is up to you. He’s not talkative when he first wakes up, but he always appreciates your company. Sometimes, he’ll wake up mid-afternoon, so, likely, you’re already out of the house by then. Brassius will shoot you a quick text that he’s awake. It’s not really common that you wake up at the same time, but on the off chance that you do, the only difference is Brassius mutters a husky “good morning” and holds you for five minutes before heaving himself out of bed. He times it. If he stays any longer he’ll fall back asleep. Which would probably be good for him you try to tell him. It never works.

- Brassius doesn’t expect you to cook him breakfast. He knows his sleep schedule is abysmal, and he’s rather unpleasant in the mornings. However, if you choose to surprise him, he’ll light up. Breakfast for him is usually a slice of toast at best and a handful of the first thing he can grab at worst. (Nuts usually, but it’s been shredded cheese before) Even something as simple as scrambled eggs will be met with high praise.

- Fun facts: Like Larry, he won’t wake you up if he leaves. However, he will leave you a cute note written with dramatic, swooping calligraphy. His bedhead is bad. Really, really bad. If you laugh at him, he’ll scowl. Total blanket hog. You've woken up to the sound of him falling out of bed before.

[jojotichakorn]

phumpeem future hcs go!

omg yaaaay thank u for the ask 🫶🫶🫶

so i know that everyone is like "wow, phum only knows how to express his love through money 😔" and don't get me wrong - he absolutely needs to learn other ways of expressing it as well. that being said... girl, he's literally a rich trust fund baby. peem comes from a regular family and he's gonna be an artist. let phum shower him with gifts ok!!! so my hc is that in the future phum will continue spending a lot of money on peem and that's just how things are gonna be. in fact, he's gonna be paying rent, he's gonna be paying bills, AND he's gonna be throwing everything peem could ever want at him as well. and then peem will have a separate bank account with his own money that he'd mostly just be saving. i don't care what anyone says, this is equality. this is the way.

we can clearly see that phum is really babie with people who love him and i think in some ways this will be a thing for phumpeem in the future as well. i'm imagining phum pouting a lot and acting really cute, and peem would indulge him. peem would also definitely get used to phum's plushies and gift him a lot more new ones. (and apologies to the old plushies, but the ones peem gifts will definitely be phum's favourites immediately).

i think peem will eventually actually learn how to cook, because i believe phum will continue insisting on eating things peem makes, and it will rapidly become a health hazard 😭 so he'll need to figure it out before he poisons his boyfriend for good lmao.

phum is going to constantly give the energy of that "have you seen my boyfriend? no, he didn't go missing, i just want to show everyone that i'm dating him" meme. he is going to effortlessly pull compliments out of nowhere and the name peem will rarely come out of his mouth without some sort of a complimentary adjective.

peem will forever be staring at phum. he is my cringefail little guy and he will always want to just spend minutes staring at hs boyfriend. phum will try to tease him about it the same way he did in episode 5, but peem would already be used to it, so he'd whip out something like "yes, i find you handsome" and that will be enough to send phum into a three second coma. like, i think peem will get over being stunned by shit phum says pretty quickly, but never the other way around. phum will always giggle and kick his feet at every little affectionate gesture and flirty line.

phum will be incredibly passionate about supporting peem's art. like "i'm buying you a spot at a museum" level of insanity and "i am coming to every exhibition of yours ever" level of passionate. and he would buy him all art supplies that have ever existed in the world. peem will have every shade of oil paint you have ever and never heard of.

peem will be bossing phum around a little bit and you will not hear a single complaint from him. everyone in their friend group will poke fun at him a little for it, but phum will not care. he will be happy to do whatever his boyfriend tells him to.

phum will love taking care of peem via small gestures. we already see that with him picking him up and driving him around everywhere, and that will just extend to many other things. like, the second peem falls asleep somewhere like the couch, phum is there with a comfy pillow and blanket. he will always insist on carrying anything heavy for peem. he'd always call after work asking if peem wants him to pick up food. things like that.

in the more distant future, i imagine them buying a house and phum specifically looks for something with a room that would make for a good, spacious, well-lit art studio. i'm imagining them with some big cute dog like a golden retriever and a cat or two as well. and i think they would get married. not sure who would propose just yet though.

[indigobackfire]

In which Chiara reflects on a painting (and I do a bit of Menix exposition xD)

Chiara chokes in her next breath when she finally finds herself able to breathe. It's her poison right there - In oils or acrylics? Doesn't matter. Could be a proper window for all she knew -, glorious and pearly, breaking her heart in sharp-edged little pieces.

Badeea had all good intentions when she called her and other Hufflepuffs she found idly wandering the halls together to give their fair opinion and feelings on her art. She was to select a few to submit to an independent gallery of young talents in hopes of securing patrons and commissioners for the years beyond Hogwarts.

And, of course, Chiara was happy to help, she had seen a fair share of Badeea's art over the years and had always appreciated her talents, an ability not seen like it in anyone else their age, an artistic passion unmatched.

And of course, Witch in Velvet is mysterious, a painting Aspen had posed for in blood-red velvet drapes and done a good job of it with her sharp stare and ice-blue eyes. And certainly Birth of a Phoenix was to be picked, as the piece took her several weeks of watching Fawkes die and be reborn, flames moving as if real fire burned the canvas. Not to mention the mastery in detail from Dumbledore's still portrait whose eyes followed you in youthful melancholy regardless of where you stood before it.

So the piece before which Chiara stands shouldn't be anything special, not even Badeea wanted to place it there, but she felt important to include them all. A simple navy blue sky glittering with stars, accurate constellations of almost microscopic attention to detail, and on the forefront, a full sumptuous moon emanating shine so real it reflects on one's face.

And right now it's Chiara's tears reflecting said light, unable to remain unshaken, unable to look away.

She only notices Phoenix's presence when he already has his arm assuringly around her shoulders.

"Hey, it's okay."

She wipes her cheeks clean of tears even when more fall on their wake. "To think I'll never be to cherish a beautiful full moon."

"It's always so far in real life. This... this is pretty close to the real thing. Even prettier I'd say."

Perhaps romantic, she would've liked to add, looking at his ever-so-perfect profile and his thin golden curls in harmonious framing. Phoenix had always been enthralling and kind, but his heart never belonged to her, even the one time they kissed.

In fact, she's pretty certain the holder of said heart's eyes are boring holes on her back even without the need for Chiara to look. Ismelda had been walking with them when Badeea caught them, hand in hand with Phoenix. It was still a difficult sight to get used to but he wanted to acclimate both her and his friends to her presence and personality.

But even with the encouragements and evolution in friendliness, it'd be right out insane to get too friendly with him.

So she taps him on the shoulder and casually pulls herself away. "I'm quite alright now, Pheny. Thanks."

He nods, then lowers his voice as he continues. "You know you don't have to go through it alone. I know I'll never be able to solve your problems, but it might help to talk about your feelings."

"Indigo does plenty of that with me."

He smiles and nods knowingly. "Yes. But with somebody who experiences something... a little similar. Though not as frequent as yours, my transformations are never due to anything pleasant."

"Certainly not."

She dares a glance around the gallery and have her suspicions disappointingly confirmed with the side stare of dark green eyes on a starkly pale face.

She turns back to him quickly. "May I ask you something? Does she know?"

"Of my condition? Yes, of course. I wouldn't tag anyone along in ignorance of one of the core aspects of my existence. All my life it's been Indigo helping me through my moods, but I understand we'll eventually part and I have hopes of having her assistance in the future instead. I know it's a lot to ask, to expect, but I wouldn't ask if I didn't think she loved me and I know she does."

Chiara almost feels her face heat up at the exposure of his vulnerability, at the lightness with which he speaks of it. To hope someone would share the burden of being other, being dangerous and unstable. To hope for someone sturdy enough to hold her down.

"Must be nice, trusting it to someone like that. Being seen and understood. Being wanted so badly and lovingly, they're willing to go through the bad days."

He takes her hand and looks in her teary eyes. "Hey, look at me, you'll find that person. Chiara, you're a lovely girl with an unbelievably kind heart. Someone will make you braver and stronger through love."

She laughs, albeit a bit nervously. "Your words are touching and heartwarming, but please..." And tugs lightly at her hand. "People are looking."

He drops it immediately. "Forgive me, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"Oh, it's not you." She can't help glancing at Ismelda who looks away immediately. She thinks her glance to be quick, but Phoenix easily follows her path of sight.

He laughs musically and loudly, and her face burns with anticipation of his next move.

"Please!" He strides to Ismelda and pulls her into the conversation clumsily, even reluctantly she allows herself to be pulled. He wraps an arm around her shoulders. "Don't be fooled, this one wouldn't hurt a fly."

Ismelda doesn't hide her scowl nor her full face blushing. "Phoenix! You done besmirching my reputation? It's bad enough I date you of all people."

"What about dating me?"

She brushes the hair not covering her eye behind her ear. "You're the human equivalent of a buttery scone."

He grins charmingly. "At least I'm tasty, wouldn't you say?"

Chiara chuckles. "Can't argue with that."

"But not useful when one is trying to set a precedent of intimidation and respect."

"I think dating me makes you even more intimidating."

Almost reflexively Chiara finds herself nodding. "And we were just talking now."

"She knows."

"Do I?"

"Yes, you were looking."

"You looked cozy."

"Sorry, I'll make sure to look stiff and uncomfortable next time we talk."

She rolls her eyes but before she could utter a retort, Badeea approaches them to Chiara's relief.

"You guys seem to have taken a liking for this one. A candidate for the exposition?"

"I'd say so," Chiara responds.

"It's on the simpler side, for you that is," Phoenix says waving his hand, "but it's so sublime and realistic. Speaks of your sensibilities, not to mention your astronomical knowledge. This would make professor Sinistra cry with joy."

She holds her face as a smile spreads on her lips. "Ah, thanks, Phoenix. I require your poetic insight in all of the pieces, can you do it?"

"Of course."

And now, to Chiara's mortification, Badeea loops her arm around his elbow and takes him with her to look at the rest of her work.

She slowly looks in Ismelda's direction not looking her in the eyes. "Hey, I was trying to-"

Ismelda's looking at the painting. "I know."

"Oh, good."

"No, I know about your... condition."

Her eyes widen. "How do you..."

"It wasn't Phoenix, don't worry. Let's just say I know more than people think I do."

"I trust you haven't told anyone else."

"Not even he knows that I know. But I knew that he did." She turns to Chiara. "I'm not telling anyone, it'd be hypocritical of me, Phoenix being who he is. I think it's cool actually. Your type is very vicious, which is almost comical looking at you."

"Why?"

"You're frail and girly."

Chiara scoffs. "And you're certainly strong and vicious."

"I don't have to be. That's what wands are for." She balances her wand between her fingers swift and smoothly. "I respect your friendship with him and your special understanding, but I hope you don't try anything."

"And I hope you stop threatening me or I'll tell him myself."

Ismelda narrows her eyes. "Not a threat, just a warning."

"Same goes for you. You're not the only person that knows more than they should." She turns away from the painting, but before she leaves she looks at Ismeld one last time. "For the sake of my friendship with Phoenix, I hope we can be friends one day."