#and the fact my middle sister said in an annoyed pretentious voice ‘oh right I’m *spposed* to use ‘they/them’’

[spookykestrel]

Honestly so frustrating how my sisters seem like theyd be accepting and respectful and whatever but then are actually really queerphobic and criticize bi people in relationships with the opposite sex as having been “faking it” and get annoyed whenever anyone has the audacity to be trans bc “everyone is now 🙄 they just want to be trendy” like what have I done wrong pls look at me it’s ok to accept people’s lives without needing to have a full understanding of it it’s ok to let people decide how to present themselves and identify how they want it takes nothinh from you to let them be

[jiejie-eonni-onee-sama]

Mystery Girl

For the cute @multifandomfix 💝🌹​

Hope you will like this gift!

"No, Gil! Don't tell me you agreed to this!"

"Sorry, Malcolm, but those are the orders of the hierarchy. Besides, having backup can't hurt you!"

The profiler shook his head, annoyed: he didn't need this!

Bright repeated to anyone who would listen that he preferred to profile criminals alone. Why pair him up with a stranger?

Grumbling, the young man nervously ran a hand through his hair. The police didn't want to let him work properly.

JT, one of his friends, patted him on the shoulder and said jokingly:

"Congratulations, Malcolm. You're about to discover an unknown concept: teamwork!

"Very funny, JT."

Dani, his colleague and best friend, tried to make him smile.

"Don't worry: I'm sure you'll be fine. You might even get along with your new partner!"

Malcolm rolled his eyes.

"I think you're very optimistic, Dani. They're going to send me some pimply, snooty kid from the best police academy who's more likely to get in my way than help me!  So, sorry, but I'm not enthusiastic!"

"What do you know? You've never met them!"

At the same time, Gil joined them.

"Bright, your new partner is waiting for you in the office! Try to hide your bad mood!"

Letting out a long sigh of annoyance, Malcolm headed for the room, ranting in anticipation of this unwelcome partner.

"I hope Malcolm doesn't get upset!" muttered JT.

"The way he's in a bad mood, it's not looking good!" whispered Dani.

"Don't worry, both of you. When Malcolm meets our new profiler, I bet he will be different!"

Meanwhile, Bright walked into the room, expecting to run into an arrogant young graduate who would have already criticized his work to no avail without knowing a single detail about the case. Instead, he came across a lovely young woman who was reading the report of the initial investigations.

Forgetting his sour mood, Bright tried to make a good impression on the newcomer. 

Quickly combing his hair and checking his breath, he cleared his throat, attracting the attention of the lady who looked up from her reading.

"Hello," she replied.

Malcolm noticed that she had a lovely voice. Charming must have been her middle name.

Smiling kindly, he introduced himself:

"Hello, you must be the new profiler. I'm..."

The young woman interrupted him with an amused smile.

"I know who you are, Malcolm Bright. I've heard a lot about you."

"Yes, I suppose you've heard that I'm crazy, insufferable, dangerous, and the spawn of a terrible serial killer. Don't bother with that: I hear it all day long!"

Placing the file back on the table, the young woman continued:

"Yes, I've heard that, but those aren't the only things I've heard. I understand that you are intelligent, perceptive, cultured, observant, and stubborn! All in all, an interesting person to work with!"

Bright was surprised!

"Wait, does that mean you asked your superiors to come and work with me?"

"Yes, I did. And from what I can see, you fit the description well: your clothing shows a comfortable lifestyle. I would say that you are very well off financially. 

On the other hand, the paleness of your complexion and the dark circles appearing under your beautiful brown eyes indicate a poor sleep pattern, which can lead to one of two things. 

Either you are an incorrigible party animal, or you are a man whose mind is always racing and troubled by traumatic memories. In your case, I'd go for the second hypothesis. You are a more complex person than most people want to believe."

Crossing her arms, she asked defiantly, a smile on her face:

"Now, Mr Bright, your turn: what can you deduce about me? Apart from the fact that I'm not a pimply little pretentious graduate!"

Malcolm winced: she had heard him!

"I assure you I had no idea who you were. Otherwise, I would never have allowed myself to say such things!"

"Judging without even knowing the people? Big mistake for a brilliant profiler like you, Malcolm!" laughed the young woman.

"Even the best make mistakes."

"If you can give me as much correct information as possible, I'll give you my name. If not, I'll let you search all day. Are you up to the challenge?"

"Challenge accepted. Well, let's see: who are you, mysterious miss?"

He circled the young woman, looking for the slightest detail that might give him information.

After a few minutes of observation, he gave his conclusions:

"From the look of your clothing, you are in a decent financial position. You are not a multi-millionaire, but you make a good living. You like simple, comfortable styles, probably because you like to look elegant and efficient at the same time.

Your posture and stature tell me that you are an athlete. I'd say you've done quite a bit of dancing, but your muscularity shows that you're a martial artist. Am I right?"

"I have a black belt in karate and judo, and I practice taekwondo, as well as ju-jitsu and Muay Thai. And I did a lot of dancing when I was younger."

"Haha! I was right. Well, as for the rest, I'd say you have an excellent photographic memory: you put that file down exactly where you took it. You are also a brilliant observer because you have deduced details of my life just by looking at me. 

I suppose you are an artist in your spare time. I saw in your bag a sketchbook and a box of pencils. Both are well placed, which betrays your meticulous side. 

Finally, I would say that you are a hard-working, kind and mischievous person. Your superiors must appreciate you enough to accept your request to come here. So, what do you say?"

Amused, the young woman clapped slowly.

"Well done, Malcolm Bright. You've lived up to your reputation. Everything you have deduced is correct."

"You will find me delighted. And now, to finish the introductions properly, may I know your name?"

"Of course: my name is (Y/N) (L/N), a certified FBI profiler."

"Pleased to meet you, Miss (Y/N) (L/N). Something tells me we'll work well together."

"That's what I hope."

Hiding behind the door, Gil, JT and Dani were relieved to see that Malcolm and (Y/N) seemed to be getting along well. Now, let's hope that this duo can be effective against the criminals that have New Yorkers on edge.

A few months later.

Sitting on a bench, Malcolm and (Y/N) enjoyed a hot chocolate while enjoying a beautiful autumn day. The two profilers wanted to have a quiet moment, away from the eyes of their colleagues and Malcolm's family! 

"Are you going to tell them the truth about us, or are you going to let them stew for a while longer?" the young woman asked.

The profiler smiled mischievously.

"I think I'll let them work their brains out for a few days before I tell them everything. Just for the fun of seeing their faces when they learn the truth!"

"I didn't know you were such a tease!" joked (Y/N).

For all answers, Malcolm took the young woman's hand in his and placed a kiss on it.

"I'm a man full of surprises, my dear. Just like you!"

"You sure didn't expect me to kiss you first!"

Malcolm pretended to be offended.

"But I thought of it first!"

"Oh, did you?"

"Certainly. Let me prove it!"

The profiler leaned over and kissed his girlfriend on the lips. 

Unfortunately, this sweet moment was interrupted by a ringing mobile phone.

"I think you should pick up the phone!" the young woman pointed out.

Grumbling, Malcolm picked up his mobile phone and picked it up:

"Hello?"

**"Hello, big brother!"**

"Good afternoon, Ainsley. To what do I owe this call?" the profiler asked.

**"I just wanted to let you know that Mum's inviting us to dinner at the house tonight. She's counting on your presence. Is that so?"** asked the reporter.

"I'll be there. It's not like I have a choice!" quipped Malcolm.

**"I'll take that as a yes... Oh, by the way, she'd like you to invite your mystery girlfriend!"**

At these words, the two lovers looked at each other in amazement: would Jessica know?

Controlling his stress, Malcolm replied:

"I don't know what she means, but I don't have a girlfriend!"

**"Oh yeah? Well then, you can tell me who the pretty lady you just kissed lovingly is!"**

Looking around him, the profiler spotted his little sister standing at the other end of the park and waving at him, a smirk on her face.

A little annoyed, Malcolm asked:

"Is your favourite pastime spying on me?"

"I admit it's very distracting. But I promise I won't tell Mum. I'll leave the great honour of making the introductions to you."

"I'm sure you'll be glad to, dear little sister."

"See you tonight, big brother. And give my regards to your lady of heart!" 

When the conversation was over, (Y/N) smiled:

"It seems that someone has found out..."

"And unfortunately, it is my sister."

(Y/N) kissed her boyfriend on the cheek.

"Honey, I can't be your mystery girl forever anyway. They're going to have to know that!"

Malcolm smiled.

"I have to admit, you're right. In any case, my love for you will never be a mystery again."

Now that their secret love affair gets revealed, Malcolm and (Y/N) will have more time to unsolve differents mysteries...

Thanks for reading! 

I hope you enjoyed the story!

Please don’t hesitate to request me a story and see you soon!

Take care! 😍🥰😘

[lochrannn]

AU-gust: Escaping the Family

Read on AO3

No warnings

prompt no 6: Gaming

Characters: Lila Pitts, Diego Hargreeves, Five Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves, Vanya Hargreeves, Luther Hargreeves, Allison Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves

Relationship: Lila Pitts/Diego Hargreeves

-

This is by far the weirdest birthday Lila has ever had.

She’s in a new city in a foreign country, she’s in an escape room for the first time in her life, and she’s somehow ended up in a team with six bickering adult siblings and their teenage brother, who were apparently all born on the same day as her.

This, she finds completely unbelievable, though why they would lie, just to make use of the promotional free admission to people born on the first of October is entirely beyond her.

They’re all wearing stickers with Hello, my name is _______ and their handwritten name printed on them, though Lila feels it’s a little superfluous, as everyone except for her already knows each other, and she was also instantly annoyed when the little twerp in the pretentious school uniform wrote ‘Five’ on his name badge and his siblings are apparently indulging him.

Whatever, she’s not here to argue with a teenager. She’s really not too sure why she’s here at all.

Maybe she was feeling a little low and lonely when she passed the building and saw the ad for the birthday special, but now she's not too sure why she thought this was a good place to meet new people.

Currently she’s quickly losing her cool watching these complete strangers make an absolute pig’s ear of things.

The boy, Five, apparently, is sitting at an antique looking bureau trying to fiddle with something and swatting his brother Ben away, whenever he’s trying to help or interfere, she’s not entirely certain which.

The two siblings who look like models or influencers or something like that, Allison and Klaus are in another corner of the room and flicking small marbles up against the ceiling, though Lila is completely in the dark as to why, and going off their constant criticising of each other’s aim, they’re not doing a particularly good job.

The remaining three siblings Vanya, Luther, and Diego are huddled together in yet another corner, arguing over a scrap of paper and the presumed meaning of the words written on it, though it’s mostly devolved into hissed threats of bodily harm between the two bigger brothers and exasperated eye-rolling from Vanya.

Nobody has paid any attention to Lila in a solid fifteen minutes.

She’d take it personally if it weren’t for the fact that the only reason they seem to be interacting with each other is so they can make snide remarks about their lack of success with their respective tasks.

Lila decides that she’s had enough.

“Jesus Christ, you people are by far the most dysfunctional family I’ve ever come across and I should know, my parents were murdered in a botched robbery when I was four!”

By the end of her outburst she is shouting and now a pin could be heard if it were dropped.

The little wanker in the knee high socks is the first to break the silence, “Thought this was an escape room not a therapy session for traumatized orphans.”

“Hey, Five, don’t be mean to the nice crazy lady!” Diego, who she’s admittedly has had a bit of an eye on, jumps in, but right now the last thing Lila needs is some arsehole pretty boy white-knighting her, so she levels him with the deadliest glare she can manage and to her satisfaction he withers a little and doesn’t say anything else.

The rest of them just stare at her with differing levels of disbelief.

“Right!” Lila says with a determination that she’s mostly using to cover up the sudden awkwardness, “this might not have occurred to you, but can I suggest that we work together as a team and maybe try and solve the puzzles together?” She tries to keep the sarcasm in her voice to a minimum.

The siblings give each other slightly confused looks as if working together may be the furthest thing from their minds.

In the end Vanya is the first to break and says, “We’ve got a message here and I’m quite certain that it’s in Greek, though Diego says it’s Latin and Luther says it’s Russian. Does anyone have an idea what to do with this?”

Five gets up in a huff, storms over to unceremoniously take the note out of Vanya’s hand and then mumbles, “This is definitely ancient Greek, nice spot Vanya! Give me a minute, I think I can translate it.”

Ben, who has now finally got a chance to look at what Five was fiddling with at the bureau, calls out to the rest of them, “There’s two overlaying circle plaques here with the letters A to G in lower case and capital letters on them. There’s also some random small b’s and hashtags strewn in.”

“Let me see!” Vanya comes over to Ben excitedly, seemingly having had an idea. “Oh yeah, that’s a circle of fifths. Hold on we just have to turn it like this to get the right parallel modes together -”

There’s a click and one of the draws opens and Ben reaches in and presents a key to the rest of the group.

Lila is a bit surprised herself at how effective her little tantrum seems to have been.

“Ooh! Ooh! Do us next!” Klaus says with a little enthusiastic clap, looking expectantly at Lila, as if she’s done anything beyond merely pointing out that they should work together.

Allison, next to him, gives him a look that is mostly just an eyebrow lift, but Lila doesn’t need to have grown up with siblings to know that this is probably a very frequent expression between the two of them. Then Allison turns to the room at large and starts explaining, “There’s a small hole up there in the ceiling and we’re pretty certain there’s another switch inside it and there were these conveniently placed marbles that look like they just about fit through the hole, but we've missed everytime so far. I don’t know, maybe Five could get on Luther’s shoulders and see if he can reach it that way…” Allison trails off looking up at the ceiling.

“Show me?” Diego says slightly hesitantly, having kept quiet since Lila had put him in his place with a look.

He walks over to his brother and sister, takes one of the marbles from Allison, flicks it up at the ceiling without much hesitation, and hits the ceiling just next to the tiny hole in the wood panelling.

Without a word Klaus hands him another marble and Diego flicks this one up as well, manages to hit the hole and there’s another click from one of the draws in the bureau.

Ben reaches in and pulls out another key with a delighted, “Aha!”

-

In the end they get out using the two keys on the locks on the door and punching the code that Five deciphered from the Greek message into the additional keypad.

And then Lila suddenly finds herself out on the cold pavement, her quasi teammates a little way off, apparently arguing over where to go for food, though she’s trying strenuously not to eavesdrop, as now, after she was trying to get away from them as fast as possible, she feels a little forlorn.

She’s pulling the edges of her coat more tightly around herself while she’s wondering whether to try and catch a bus or splash out on a taxi for the occasion of her birthday, when Diego separates from his siblings and wanders over to her, hands stuffed into his jacket pockets.

“We’re… uh… we’re going for some food, d’you wanna come with?” he asks uncertainly, pulling a hand out to point a thumb over his shoulder towards his family.

Lila looks around him to where the five grown-ups and the teenager are apparently in the middle of a heated argument, and though a moment ago she felt oddly lonely, the thought of spending the rest of the evening with their constant bickering feels like a little much after all.

It seems Diego recognises the dilemma playing out on her face because he crosses his arms, looks down at his boot where he’s kicking at nothing on the pavement, and mumbles, “Or I could ditch them and you and I go out for a drink?”

Lila would have probably said yes anyway, but the shy smile on his face when he finally looks back up at her is stupidly irresistible.

“Won’t your siblings miss you for your birthday dinner?” Lila asks sincerely, though she hopes he’ll say they won’t.

“Eh, we meet up every first Sunday of the month, so I’ll see them at the weekend anyway,” he offers with a shrug.

“Well, do you know of anywhere where I can get a decent pint around here, then?” Lila asks with a bright smile on her face and a small flutter in her chest.

[edream93]

I don't know if you are still accepting prompts but here it goes: write a prompt inspired on what's my name but like Uma and Harry are singers and their record label have the idea of releasing a song Uma feat. Harry Hook and they just meet on the video clip day. Also Uma is Harry's celebrity crush...

Hi anon! Thank you for being so patient! When I first got this prompt, I actually laughed because I had been thinking of something similar literally days before. I’m glad that I was able to put some of those thoughts into an actual prompt. I do want to apologize though, if you’re a Mal fan, there’s a bit of Mal bashing in this one (I don’t necessarily hate Mal. I actually think she’s has the potential of being a really great character, but the last movie just dropped the ball on that. It was just the only way I could think of to make the story work).

Anyway, I hope you still enjoy and obviously, you should totally listen to “What’s My Name” at some point before, after, or while you’re reading.

After the media horror show that followed after Mal very publicly broke up with him (who the hell breaks up with someone right in the middle of an interview, he thought), singing artist Harry Hook wanted nothing to do with collaborating with another wannabe diva. 

(He and Mal hadn’t even been dating, but when Mal had hinted that after their last project together - which had been an auto-tuned disaster - that they were something more than just colleagues and one time collaborators, his manager - also known as his harpy of a sister Harriet - had told him to neither confirm nor deny the rumors. After all, Mal’s manager/mother had been in this business long enough to squish his blossoming career with one snap of her red manicure fingers if he angered or insulted her daughter. With her beautiful features but caustic personality, Maleficent made The Darkest Fairy, sound more like a fact than a former stage name.)

“I’m not doing another song with some harpy who doesn’t even know the difference between B flat and A sharp,” Harry murmured darkly as he followed his oldest sister into the elevator that quickly took them to his record label’s, Second Star, recording studio.

“You’ll do what I tell you, little brother,” Harriet growled, over her shoulder, her black with red accented business attire doing nothing to lessen the air around her that practically declared that she was not one to be messed with. “And stop being a pretentious emo music nerd.”

Harry rolled his eyes but kept his mouth shut. Harriet may be annoying, but she had made a promise to help him reach his dreams when they were just wee tots and as she always did, she kept her promise. There weren’t many people in his life that Harry could trust but Harriet was one of them, despite how much she nagged.

As they entered the recording studio where Jonas was already setting things up, Harry took a moment to glance at the music that Harriet had handed him. He held in a groan when he saw the song’s name.

“What’s My Name? Seriously, Ettie? How self-entitled is this lass? This…Uma?” he questioned annoyed before he paused. “Wait. Uma? Where do I know this name from?”

“She’s Mal’s former ghost writer, man,” Jonas supplied from where he was checking sound levels. “The one that hacker, Son of Hades, revealed was actually behind all the award winning songs that Mal claimed to have written herself. After he broke into Spinning Needle Records database, he revealed all their fraud and creative theft they’ve been doing of small independent artists for years.”

Harry nodded. He vaguely remembered that. It had happened while he and Mal had still been “dating”. He did remember Mal stomping around in a rage after her stylist, Evie, sent her a message, muttering something about shrimp and “That bitch thinks she can go against me? I’m the fucking queen!” (The fact that this Uma seemed to inspire so much anger out of Mal definitely gave her a point in Harry’s book.)

“Maleficent let Uma go immediately despite how much obvious success she could have brought to their record,” Harriet continued, not looking up from her phone. “But her loss. Our gain. Uma left with a book full of songs she never showed that dragon bitch and Second Star swooped in on the opportunity and signed with her just a few weeks ago. The process is going a bit faster than usual for a new artist,” his sister said glancing up at him, “but Pan wants to capitalize on the media controversy, hoping that’ll help put Uma out there as a singer and give Mal some real competition.”

“And he loves messing with Maleficent,” Jonas added.

Harriet nodded, a wicked grin on her face. “Who doesn’t?”

Harry looked down at the music again, this time looking past the song’s title and to the actual lyrics.

“Not bad,” he muttered shifting the pages as he continued to glance at the obviously handwritten song sheets. “I’m guessing this is a big ‘fuck you’ letter to Mal?”

“You could put it that way,” Harriet shrugged before frowning. “Though not in public!”

Harry grinned, mischief woven into his smile as he headed towards the sound booth. “Maybe this collaboration won’t be so terrible after all.”

—

“This is terrible,” Harry moaned.

Unsympathetic giggles responded back as Dizzy Tremaine, his stylist, leaned around him to also take a look at the mirror in front of him.

“Didn’t you tell me that you wanted to be a pirate, once?” she continued to giggle.

“When I was a wee lad!” he exclaimed turning around to face the much younger woman. “Not now! This is just ridiculous!”

“It’s Pan just being cheeky,” Harriet said stepping into his dressing room, unannounced. “You know. Because of-

“Because of Da,” Harry said cutting her off. “I know, I know,” he sighed trying to not imagine what type of scathing criticism their father, the lead singer and guitarist and also co-founder of the of The Jolly Rogers along with Second Star current executive producer Peter Pan (and thorn in Harry’s side), would give him if the man was still alive.

He sighed, taking care to not wrinkle his pirate inspired costume. A production assistant had just stopped by a few minutes earlier to let them know that Uma’s makeup was taking a bit longer than expected and that he had a few extra minutes before he was needed on the set. He pulled out his phone and earbuds to tune Dizzy and Harriet out, quickly scrolling to a downloaded audio file. It wasn’t the best quality since the audio had been taken from a recorded video but Harry had found himself listening to it almost religiously every day since that day in the sound booth.

The audio was from a recording of Auradon Got Talent that was done years ago. As he closed his eyes and listened to the music, Harry imagined the stage in the video and the young and oh so small girl with teal hair that came onto the stage as if she was born on it. Her voice then had been powerful for such a small lass and now…he couldn’t help but shiver at the memory of her voice that he had heard when he was recording his part in her new song a week ago. Her talents had definitely been wasted forced into Mal’s shadow.

He felt an earbud being pulled from his ear and for a moment he thought it was Harriet who always had a bad habit of wanting to know what he was listening to, mother hen that she was despite her preferred edgy style.

“Huh. Haven’t heard this song in a long time,” a voice that was definitely not his sister’s startled him to open his eyes to look at the calculating expression of his current collaborator (and, if he was being perfectly honest, his current crush). He glanced around the room, seeing that Harriet and Dizzy were no longer there. (Damn, them.)

As he scrambled for something to say, Harry couldn’t help but appreciate how breathtaking and not to be messed with Uma looked in her own costume. Once he had taken her in, he nearly wanted to smack himself for staring but if the small little smirk on her face, as well as her own appreciative look she threw him, she didn’t mind and also liked what she saw.

“Uh…hi?” Harry squeaked under her gaze, wondering where the hell his usual smooth, suave bad boy persona went.

“Hey,” she returned. “I just wanted to introduce myself and thank you for agreeing to do this, especially with, ya know, me not being on the best of terms with your ex, currently.”

“We never dated. All just a rumor,” Harry found himself saying before he could stop himself. (Harriet was so going to kill him.) He had the strongest urge to tell her everything, to fall to his knees at her feet and assure her that there was nothing between him and Mal, ever.

Uma surprised him though.

“I know,” she said simply and it was like a weight he hadn’t been aware was on his shoulders was lifted. “That’s why I asked for you specifically. I’ve always wanted to work with you. Even before Mal. I’ve…I’ve kind of been a fan of yours for awhile. Even before you and Jay went separate ways musically,” she continued and it was like she had both drowned him and allowed him to fly. The experience was dizzying and wonderful all at the same time. And were his eyes deceiving him or was she…her cheeks had definitely looked like they had darkened, right? “Besides, Jay was adorable but he could never tell the difference between a B flat and A sharp,” she smirked, trying to hide her embarrassment by flipping her hair casually over her shoulder.

That was it. Harry’s brain seemed to implode at that moment as he sighed adoringly, “Will ye marry me?”

Uma’s eyes widened, caught off guard, and it took everything in Harry to not just walk out of the building where they were currently in and just hop into the trash where he belonged.

Before he could salvage things, he heard the most beautiful sound: her laughter.

“Sure, but let’s get through this music video first, first mate,” she winked cheekily using the song’s character description for him.

A beat didn’t even past when he responded back with “Don’t you mean, first date, Captain?” he grinned back.

The two both broke out into loud boisterous laughter, that seemed to follow them even when they made their way onto the set where their other collaborator DJ G3., or Gil, who they were both surprised to find out was a mutual friend to the other, was waiting in his own pirate inspired garb.

And the laughter from that day followed them all the way to “What’s My Name” rising to the top of the charts, beating even Mal’s most popular songs for weeks on end (it was so satisfying seeing Mal’s newest song barely even make it on the top 100 list only to be pushed off after a week) to years later when, once they both had multiple Grammy’s and other various international music awards under their belts, Harry got down on one knee, his mother’s ring held in his hand.

All Uma could do was grin. “I already said yes the first day we met,” she said before kissing him deeply, and not for the first time Uma made his heart sing.

(AN: Also, if you’re wondering, there’s no difference between an A sharp and a B flat. They’re the same note.)