#and the fact I’ve been listening to her music a lot recently

[klxudykai]

songs can manifest into reality

so if you don’t know me, i fucking love music. like it’s my favorite thing in the world. i love it because i relate to it. it makes me feel less alone and helps me think about my emotions and thoughts rather than just feeling them.

but i realized that the music that i related to made me feel worse about myself. my self esteem was lower and i just felt helpless. then around the same time that i began actively manifesting (which i believe has been going on for three weeks now) i started to listen to positive music and put my manifestations into that. and it worked so well and made me feel better about myself.

i recently had to write something for school about a song i relate to and i chose “drew barrymore” by sza. it was one of my favorite songs for the longest time but when i looked at the lyrics and realized how similar it was to my life and personality, i felt bad. so i wrote down the opposite of the lyrics and made them positive because i knew that if i stuck with the real lyrics, i wouldn’t become the most confident version of myself.

i stopped listening to that song for a while and even though i love it a lot, i know that i need to step back from it. and that unfortunately applies to almost every sza song because if you listen to her music, you’d know her songs are mostly about insecurity.

but yeah, watch the music you’re listening to because you can in fact manifest them into reality. i’ve done it many times and didn’t realize it until now. get rid of that sad music yall, it’s not good for you 😘

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Ruby Myers (Typist Girl, Cinema Queen)— I just recently saw a documentary about her and thought that besides being really pretty, she had a very interesting life. She was born in the early 1900s in India to a Baghdadi Jewish family, and became the first woman to act in an Indian silent film. In the 1930s she started her own film production house, Rubi Pics, way before most female producers in Hollywood broke through. More info can be found in this Golden Globes webpage on her life [link]

Ginger Rogers (Swing Time, Top Hat)—Look I’ll level with you, I’ve never seen her in a musical and I know that she’s an amazing dancer and she’ll be even hotter when I finally watch Top Hat but I’m not submitting her as a dancer I’m submitting her as an ACTRESS. Her comic timing is impeccable!!!!! She’s full to bursting with life and in every role she seems to be having FUN, you can practically feel the twinkle in her eye. With her natural warmth it’s like she’s letting you in on the joke, y’all get to have this fun together! Making me laugh is hot!!! [If you'd like to see Ginger dance, videos below the cut]

This is round 2 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Ruby Myers:

Ginger Rogers propaganda:

She needs no introduction! An undeniable powerhouse on the dancefloor, and no less talented an actress. I once watched a compilation of cinema's greatest dance scenes and one of her and Fred Astaire's dances was featured, and one of the talking heads said he pitied her for 'having to keep up with him' - or something to that effect. Bullshit, I cry. Ginger Rogers was his absolute equal, and underplaying her incredible skill is downright criminal. I want the 'Cheek to Cheek' sequence from Top Hat to be permanently burned into my memory.

"Backwards in high heels", as the saying goes (though the pedant in me must point out that she in fact spent her fair share of time leading or dancing side-by-side). One of the earliest twinkle-toed ladies of the silver screen, and in terms of acting/persona, her balance of wide-eyed cuteness and movie-star glamour has never quite been replicated.

we all know her beloved string of musicals with fred but ginger also has an extensive and varied non-fred filmography that she's great in! a few ginger moments that are important 2 me personally ginger singing “we’re in the money” in gold diggers of 1933, complete with a verse in pig latin bc this whole movie is kinda mocking the concept of anyone actually being in the money in 1933; ginger and una merkel singing a verse of “shuffle off to buffalo” in 42nd street, providing some statler & waldorf-esque commentary on newlyweds from the upper berth of a railway car (interesting that belly was apparently a risque word in 1933 - maybe its bc the lyric is innuendo-ing about out of wedlock pregnancies - and that panties was a term for men’s underthings!); a favorite fred & ginger number

Ginger Rogers could do everything! She could sing, dance and act. She was hilarious in comedies, moving in dramatic roles (she won an Oscar for Kitty Foyle in 1940) and absolutely gorgeous!

Listen, no shade to Fred Astaire at all, but she both kept up with him step for step and then later went on to WIN AN OSCAR FOR ACTING. (which he did not.) truly a double threat!!!

One of the best dancers in Hollywood! Her work with Fred Astaire is just incredible.

ONE LINE: "Everything Fred did, Ginger did backwards and in heels" AND THEYRE RIGHT! Rogers was a total dance badass, and a lot of movie buffs know the story, but the Never Gonna Dance number from Swing Time took almost 50 takes, and allegedly by the end of filming it her white shoes had been stained pink because her feet were bleeding. As a note, she looks crazy gorgeous in this number. Watching these two dance is insane. They match up to each other in a way my mom describes as "divine" and she's right. DANCE NUMBERS!

Let's Call The Whole Thing Off (Shall We Dance, 1937, dancing starts at 3:14, they're in ROLLERSKATES)

(Ginger Rogers is the hottest woman ever to live in this number. seeing this as a teenager altered my brain chemistry)

(also watch her feet and how she moves opposite Astaire in this one. We all know our boy Freddie had that precision demon but jesus christ Miss Rogers, let a girl live!)

Pick Yourself Up, Swing Time 1936 (Everyone's seen this one but by god you are going to see it AGAIN!)

Shall We Dance, 1937 (duet begins at 2:34)

Smoke Gets In Your Eyes, Roberta 1935 (There's just something about Ginger Rogers in a slick black dress man)

The Continental, The Gay Divorcee 1934

God she's MAGIC in this one.

Gay Divorcee's Ending Montage 1934The infamous table and chairs spin happens at about 0:49. Pay CLOSE attention to her in this bc it looks like witchcraft and I feel lightheaded whenever I watch this movie bc shes THAT awesome.

She is a miracle to watch. Sorry for the sheer amount of clips. My entire family is like madly in love with Ginger Rogers.

[strangelysamantha]

survival instincts ❀

damon salvatore x bonnie bennett.

warnings: swearing, bourbon consumption, that's about it :)

words: 2,227.

summary: bonnie and damon make it work after being abandoned on a never-ending repetitive loop. while tensions rise, a soft spot forms. damon’s wiggled his way into bonnie’s grasp and the two of them struggle to resist.

request? nope! but requests are open.

a/n: literally thought about this while watching season 6 recently. definitely will be writing for damon more. i actually have a few requests i’ve started for him. i just wanted to finally finish this project before moving onto those. please like and reblog if you enjoyed. possibly a steamy part two if you guys like where this one went. :)

my masterlist

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damon stands in front of the stove, bonnie sitting at the table concentrating on the crossword. she was really puzzled, to say the least. he brings her a plate of pancakes, cute, whipped cream fangs to top it off. he sets it gracefully in front of her. she looks up from her activity, looking up to him. damon’s raven black hair, his chiseled jaw line, his sharp teeth. it was hard for bonnie to concentrate. two whole months stuck in a time warp with her frenemy took a lot of time to adjust too. damon really wiggled his way into her soft side. “thank you for the pancakes,” she says lightly. she used to complain, a repetitive breakfast for a repetitive year. but something clicked. the fact that she had hope. being with damon wasn’t half as bad, and the two of them were motivated to make it back home to friends.

friends. bonnie thought about elena. how hard she must be coping. she then started to fill with nerves. if elena had any idea of the type of feelings that bonnie shared with damon. how much shit she’d have to take in order to get any respect from elena back. but she wasn’t here. and there was a chance bonnie may never even see her again. bonnie couldn't help the fantasies in the back of her mind. being completely abandoned in the middle of nowhere gave her a lot of time to think. and damon was easy on the eyes, so that didn’t help. like when he’d first wake up, shirtless with bed head. he’d greet her a good morning, rushing to the kitchen to do his endless loop of listening to music and making breakfast.

this morning however, things were different. there was tension between the two. he silently made eggs, instead of pancakes. bonnie took note of this immediately, joining him in the kitchen. “eggs?” she questioned. damon looked up at her, sourly ushering out a “morning.” he returned his attention back to the stove. bonnie sighed, taking a seat at the dining room table. “what’s going on?” she questions him; annoyance laced in her voice. he rolls his eyes, tired of bonnie bennett. stuck in his own personal hell, nothing to do, no way out, nothing. his hope was dismal, practically non-existent. however, this could have been said three weeks ago. usually, he’d attempt to hold it back, thinking it was unfair to take it out on bonnie. today however, that’s all he could blame. if he hadn’t held bonnie’s hand he wouldn’t be in hell. he probably would have found peace. but no. he’s trapped, alone, with a bennett witch who he was very aware hated his guts.

nothing could get any worse than that? right? wrong, see on this very morning, damon woke up after having a rather interesting dream. one that miraculously starred bonnie. her hands against his chest, her lips on his. she stared at him with adoring eyes and it left him with this new emotion. guilt mixed with excitement. he couldn’t hold himself together, every free second he thought he had peace, ended with his brain replaying the dream.

he distracted himself by cooking something new, try to make it feel different then all those other days, make it a good day. he cracked open the eggs, avoiding bonnie so he didn’t have to say the morning routine. if he were to look at her that suddenly after those thoughts, he was worried he wouldn’t be able to contain himself. he struggled with the idea; he knew it was probably just an invasive thought. he still loved elena. elena is his other half, whether they’re separated just by a ripple in time. they’ll find a way back to each other. that was his hope. not hope, motivation.

bonnie stared at damon; waiting for a response. his hair was disheveled worse than usual, his movements off, it didn’t take a genius to know something was up. “hello?” her voice cracked him back into reality, his head turning to face her head on. “nothing, just slept wrong or something.” she tsks, but ultimately decide it’s best to drop it. he brings her a plate of scrambled eggs and some sausage. “we need to go to the store.” he states firmly. she glanced up at him. “okay. thank you for breakfast.” her kind words tugged at his heart; even the slightest change of tone was evoking the unresolved feelings inside of him. “no worries. i’ll go get ready.” he turns to his bedroom; changing into clothes and taking a deep breath. how many more days could he wake up just to sit around until bedtime. he quickly wrote out a grocery list, meeting bonnie downstairs. she had finished her breakfast, being left to sit alone at the dining room table. she felt stunned by the abrupt silence that overwhelmed her. for a moment she felt relief, but the more she thought about it, the fact damon was by her side was quite comforting. if she was here alone, she wasn’t sure she’d have the strength to keep looking forward to the next day.

they tread to the store, usually they would be chattier but today they lost any idea of a subject. the silence was comfortable, but it didn’t ease bonnie’s nerves. she knew something was up with damon, and while she knew he still held a grudge, she still wanted to ease his mind. at the store, damon pulls out the grocery list. his eyes rake over the little notebook paper. he was indecisive on where to even start, bonnie lingered over his hand, taking the paper from him. “we’ll just start at the top.” she reads from the list, “soup,” she firmly holds the shopping cart, heading the cans. damon hesitantly follows after her, one by one they pick up their groceries.

“you know, even in this abandoned place i still kinda feel bad just to walk out the store without paying.” damon breaks the ice, bonnie’s relived by his humor, “usually i gotta compel them first.” she grins “oh no we better run.” she quickly heads back to the house, “i bet i can beat ya!” she laughs, damon chuckles, “i think you must have forgot.” he picks her up and he vamp speeds them back to the house. bonnie’s hands hold firmly around his neck, her legs wrapped around his torso, while he carries all the bags of groceries. bonnie jumps down from damon, adrenaline pumping, “i’ve never done that before! that was crazy! you can do that whenever you want!?” damon has now set the groceries on the kitchen counter. “yeah, but i don’t like to show off.” he smirks flashing his sparkly teeth. bonnie’s stomach flips at the sight, containing it, she groans, “yes you do.” he shakes his head nonchalantly, “no i’m really good at playing it cool.”

whether it was the adrenaline rush of going super speed through town, or her heart racing from being so close to damon, something fueled bonnie, she steps forward, crashing her lips onto him. he immediately melts under her touch, kissing her as he slides his arms around her lower back. his heart is stammering, his brain completely empty as he soaks up all of bonnie. her lips soft and sweet, her hands needlessly touched his body. the adrenaline from doing something you know is wrong, yet having no desire to put an end to it was all damon felt. any thought of elena was out the window.

damon attempts to deepen the kiss, still tiptoeing around it to ensure he doesn’t cross the line. bonnie slips her tongue inside his mouth. he hesitates but pulls away. the lack of contact leaves bonnie distraught, worried he was about to say he regretted it. “as much as i'd love to continue this, we need to put the groceries away first.” he takes the milk out of the bag, “don’t want them to soil or anything like that,” his arm lingers on her back so he can smoothly walk by her. he puts the milk into the fridge. her breathing was staggered, but she helps puts the groceries away. the feeling of damon’s lips against her was a feeling she’d never thought she’d crave let alone miss.

bonnie heads upstairs, her head spinning, her thighs squeezing together slightly. her mind couldn’t stop replaying the steamy shared kiss. she changed into more comfortable clothes, ones she had grabbed from her house. at first, she wanted to just stay there. however she tried it once, the silence was deafening, and she kept looking over her shoulder worried something bad was out to get her. the clock hadn’t even turned 12 before she knocks on the salvatore residence. damon, shirtless, not expecting company opens the door. “well, what a surprise,” he smiles. “was there a monster under your bed?” damon chuckles to himself at his teasing. “i can’t stay at mine. it’s too scary.” she scratches the back of her neck awkwardly. “can i crash here with you?” bonnie frowned. “sure. you can take stefan’s room. or any room other than mine.” he got out of the way, welcoming her in.

while they were sure they were completely alone, damon never forgot to lock all the doors and windows up every night. with a new sense of purpose, he often got by with the idea that he was the protector. he had to make sure nothing happened to bonnie.

damon was sitting in the living room, one of stefan’s diaries in hand. another way to pass time was to dig up the diaries left from him. they were amusing to damon. he sipped some bourbon before turning the page. bonnie made her way downstairs, she pours herself a glass of bourbon before joining damon on the couch. he sighs, “my brother is such a prude.” he shakes his head, “no fun at all.” bonnie grins at this, “what’s the journal saying now?” she crosses her legs leaning back.

he sighs, “just talking about how much of a shitty brother i am.” damon’s eyes pool with sadness. he was a regretful man. he did a lot of stuff that he wasn’t proud of. he let the darker parts of himself win. “i mean i get it. i was a dick.” bonnie sips the bourbon again. “hey. siblings fight all the time. you guys have it harder because you are vampires.” he nods at her words.

silence settles between them. bonnie’s mind was racing. there was a lot she wanted to confess but she didn’t know where they stood. “look damon,” she starts, damon glances up giving her his full attention. “i know we’re not in the best position, but i’m glad you’re here. i don’t know how i'd do this if i was the only one here.” her words comfort him. “thank you. i’m glad im here with you. wherever your grams took us. it’s better here than the alternative.” his words comfort her as well. together they had a firm understanding of the importance of each other.

“about earlier,” bonnie starts, consumed by fear she’s talking really fast, "i dont know what that was. you're with elena. i shouldn't have acted on my feelings-" damon shushes her gently, “it’s okay, no need to get worked up. come here.” damon sets the journal down, he leans back on the couch; he softly pats the spot by him. bonnie scoots over and leans into his side. they lay together, her hands immediately find his chest. his arm wrapped around her shoulder. he hums softly. “you keep me sane. if it wasn’t for you, i don’t know if i'd still be around.” damon admits. the idea of being stranded alone here had him sobbing into his pillow at night. he wouldn’t be able to handle being all alone. her head nuzzles into his shoulder. “i agree.” she softly mutters. the fireplace is crackling, the darkness from the solar eclipse appears through the windows.

bonnie’s sighs in relief, glad she didn’t have to embarrass herself with an explanation for her earlier actions. damon’s eyes shut, his body relaxing into bonnie’s touch. this is the first human contact he’s had since being on the other side. it was sweet, soft, gentle. the two laid embraced with each other for an hour, bonnie’s bourbon swiftly kicked in, the ease she felt from damon’s touch, relaxed her. it caused her to doze off.

damon lays awake. his mind rushing with thoughts. he so badly wanted to save bonnie. to get her out of this world. bonnie didn’t deserve this after life. she saved all of his friends; his brother; elena. bonnie out of everyone deserved her life the most. she died protecting mystic falls, then she died again protecting her friends. she’s lost practically all her family. the thought was nauseating damon. he couldn’t sit around being helpless. he now resented all those times they fought. his heart ached at the memories of him being a dick to her, just because he was mad at the situation. he never once put himself in bonnie’s shoes. now that he had he felt sorry for her. he felt like if there’s anything he would do before his time to go, he’d make sure bonnie made it out of here alive.

🧸🩷🤍🩷🤍🧸

if you made it this far hi!!! i’m already working on a part two and it’ll definitely be spicy haha. the dreams don’t leave damon alone, and that’ll only egg him on more. his feeling for bonnie will intensify now that he has the urge to protect her. like and reblog if you enjoyed! it helps me know what content you guys like from me :) <3

[frogsndogs]

So recently I watched this pilot short: Epilogue of endings. It’s about 12 minutes long, created by a group of animation students over a single summer. I had never heard of the project before it showed up in my youtube recommended.

It changed my brain chemistry. I watched it 9 days ago and I can’t stop thinking about it to save my life. The music? Spectacular. The voice acting? Perfect. The art? astounding. The characters? I’m already emotionally attached. Hotel? Trivago.

Listen, I don’t tend to watch of a lot of things anymore unless I’m with other people, and I have this weird thing about engaging in new media, I think because a lot of what I’ve been watching recently has been kinda disappointing, or very… I don’t know… it’s hard to describe. It just feels like a lot of studios are making characters shallower, relationships strained, and half-assing their world building. A lot of media that I’ve taken in recently is trying very hard to make itself seem edgy and serious and that’s not what I want right now and definitely not what I need.

But this 12 minute pilot? This is everything I never knew I needed. The characters feel like real people, with complex motivations and interpersonal relationships. They’re flawed, but they’re trying their best with the situation that they have. They have things, other people that they care about and would fight for, they have motivations and backstories that you can see the breadcrumbs of, but have not been revealed yet, and the breadcrumbs are so good you can’t wait for the whole loaf. The world-building is exquisite, built up enough that you can see the beginning, but still drawing you in with more questions. 

I have a more detailed review under the cut, with SPOILERS, but I highly recommend that you go watch the pilot. It’s 12 minutes of time well spent in my opinion.

So the first scene. We’re introduced to Lucy, Blu and CG. I think Blu is already my fav, lol. In this scene, we see the three characters playing eye-spy while walking through a forest. It’s a pretty innocuous scene if we didn’t pan up to the sky and see the sun having broken open and Lucy becoming emotional over having to leave town, and presumably the rest of her life behind. Blu doesn’t answer her.

So Lucy clearly doesn’t know what’s going on, and I’m wondering if Blu has limited information himself. Maybe even Blu doesn’t know why or how any of this is happening. Maybe Blu literally can’t answer her question because he doesn’t have the answers. Maybe it hurts, being so helpless and out of control, so he’s in denial to a certain extent, trying to pretend that everything is fine. He’s trying to keep this little girl, happy and safe and alive, while also presumably dealing with his own shit, and no he’s not doing it perfectly, he’s flawed, as people and characters should be, but he’s trying and so far she is alive and safe to a certain extent so way to go Blu! I think this will probably cause some tension between the two down the road, but for now they just keep walking.

I wonder where they’re going, if anywhere specific? Why did they leave town specifically, we see there’s lots of danger pretty much everywhere, did something happen?

Anyways, then we get to this scene of someone fixing what appears to be a subway train. He stops, pulls out a journal and we get some exposition stuff. We find out that the world ended, and how. And WOW. This whole thing was gut-punchingly realistic I feel. People blowing up the competition trying to race off into space when it’s announced that the sun is going to die out? That’s something that unfortunately I can see people doing. I wonder/hope that this will become a plot point again later on, and we’ll find out what happened to all those people. But anyways that’s not even the craziest part; the fact the sun broke open and released a whole bunch of eldritch horror monsters??? Yep here we go. And then the next thing hurts. Like a lot. Because the narrator says that ‘people who hoped to live out their last days in normalcy quickly found out that their life-style was no longer sustainable’. That shit made me want to cry. The want for a peaceful death, a calm death, a painless death, but having even that ripped away from you. This setting that these characters are in is awful and very terrifying, and we can see how it is hurting them, torturing them, but I got to give props to the world building. It’s good writing. They set up the plot, the problem, what’s been going on the past couple yrs, some mysteries, to both the viewers and the characters, and in doing so give us some idea of the characters that we do have. Because the characters that we do have are trapped. The characters that we do have are abandoned. The characters that we do have are survivors. 

And then we pan out to see the narrator having an interaction with one of the Monarchs. And this scene? Gave me chills, man. I was so creeped out by this. Acedia’s ‘I do not like that response,’ Mole’s utter helplessness to do anything, his clear, potent fear of the creature, the way that it just lightly touches him and he flinches. Then the frustration that we see on his face after it leaves, the anger that turns into tiredness and then hopelessness? Someone needs to wrap this man in a blanket stat.

And this is where I’m starting to think that Blu doesn’t really know the full extent of what’s going on. There’s a good chance that Mole knows about the Monarchs because he’s being held prisoner by one. It’s possible that Mole is seeing the world collapse before his very eyes, while Blu is just seeing the aftermath and not knowing why and I can’t say which is more terrifying.

The ‘I have influence?’ line is peak. I love it so much, I can’t even say why. That whole little interaction with Lucy saying that she takes after Blu, Blu being so genuinely touched and CG being low-key offended is perfect and I love it. It shows how close they are, how much they care about each other.

The the… zombie ppl??? I love the detail of how unlike a lot of teenage protagonists, Lucy listens to Blu, and gets out of danger. She trusts him to handle the situation on his own, and knows that the best thing that she can do right now is get to safety. There’s an implicit trust there, in spite of her clear issues with Blu not telling her things, and this is what I’m talking about when I say the character relationships are complex.

Oh fuck. The transitions? The way that it cuts from one character to another, each unintentionally completing one another’s scentences, and unknowingly engaging in conversation. It’s amazing storytelling, an amazing presentation and for some reason it just confirms to me that these characters are family. They fit together like puzzle pieces. I don’t know what else to say.

We get more info on our mysterious narrator, Mole, who is an amnesiac, and clearly going through it. During this scene we see a crumpled newspaper of what seems to be a younger version of him, winning an award for his dedication at being a subway motorman. His name is crossed out in black ink, so we can’t see it. Which makes me question, did he do this to himself? Is his amnesia a trauma response to everything he’s going through? Did something happen to the point that his brain decided shutting down and forgetting everything was better than remembering this one thing? And it hurts, because in the picture in the newspaper he looks so happy. So young. So alive. It’s a stark contrast to the man we see with bags under his eyes, talking to himself and becoming increasingly distressed. I read through the article, and again, props to the team, some other people might have just did random letters or whatever but they put in a whole ass-story, giving the viewers more info about Mole than even he has. We know he was a dedicated subway motorman. We know he was inspired by his father. We know he had a sister. But these answers only serve to bring up more questions? What happened to his sister? Was his father still alive at the time of he end of the world and what was their relationship like? Because there’s a chance that their relationship was really good, and that’s why he went on to become a subway motorman, but there is also the possibility that he was pressured into doing so, and the way that he complains about being on a train when the world ended makes me kinda lean towards that option.

Then we see CG and Lucy walking around the underground tunnels and we get more info on them. We find out that CG was created by Lucy’s mom, which begs the question of where is Lucy’s mom???? What happened to her? Is there a chance that she’s still alive? Does Lucy know what happened to her mother?? Or is this just another thing that Blu is keeping her in the dark about? Does Blu know what happened to Lucy’s mother???? Or— as you can see I am totally normal about this woman. Anyways.

CG is a fun character, optimistic and bringing a lighter atmosphere to the show, but there is just something… off about her in this scene. The disregard for the danger, the naiveté, the joyful voice in such a horrible situation, feels so wrong to me. I wonder though if CG chose to be like this, or a certain amount of it is her programming? Does CG know what happened to Lucy’s mom? I think CG was created to be take care of Lucy but it seems to be the other way around here, why is that? 

And then we get info on Blu. Blu was a solider during the war when ppl were trying to get all the resources to race off into space. I wonder if Blu had believed that he would be granted a place on one of these ships. (If he managed to survive of course.) Or had he been in the military prior to all this, and was just pulled along? This makes me want to know more about his belief system before and after the end of the world. Also it is implied by CG that Blu is carrying a lot of pressure, and I wonder how that will be dealt with later on… hmm… 

Also the music that plays when Blu uses his arms to pull down the wall? Amazing, I love it, I love the scene, I love the fact that he’s a cyborg, I am so invested in these characters already it’s killing me.

Then we see Mole almost (accidentally) kill Lucy and CG. He’s out of it, he’s the only person running the trains, he didn’t expect to have to watch out for anyone, I think that we can give him a pass on this. Blu doesn’t think so obviously.

(Sidenote: the way that Lucy curls into Blu, as he protectively shields her is so cute, my heart, help)

Blu is pissed. His tone doesn’t change too much, it’s light, but there’s this threatening undertone there that kinda creeps me out. Mole tells them he doesn’t have a name, before Blu forces him to tell them that its Mole. Wait… is he called that bc Moles live underground? Anyways, Blu wants to leave him to die there, which shows an interesting side of his character. Prior to this we’ve seen him take a protective, fun role as Lucy’s guardian but here we see this apathy towards someone who is obviously not doing so well. A lot of other people would be excited to find another living person in the apocalypse, but he’s fine just walking away. Is this just because he almost killed Lucy? Or is there something more going on here? In Blu’s bio on the rainbott instagram, it says that Blu was ‘left to die in a mysterious incident’ and it’s interesting that he feels fine leaving someone else to die in such horrible conditions. Again - complex character writing, props to the team.

But Lucy doesn’t want to leave him. This shows her compassion and maybe too her want for connection with other people. Blu resists; ‘Lucy that is the most unimpressive man I have ever seen,’ this line has no right to be so funny, esp with Mole just staring at him in the background. Did he hear that or is he too far away, too out of it? Then he relents, perhaps solely because of Lucy, or maybe also because of his own want to do the right thing. He doesn’t like Mole, he makes that obvious, but if Lucy want’s to adopt this strange hobo man, fine, if it makes her happy. He’ll do whatever it takes to make Lucy a little more happy.

Mole’s ‘it doesn’t want me to leave’ scares the shit out of me, and the way that he just freezes up when Acedia shows up… 

The scene when it talks about humans really creeps me out, and makes me worried even more about Mole. Calling him ‘entertaining’ and saying that he ‘belongs’ to them. It sounds like it sees him as a toy at best, and reminds me of the way that Mole said earlier that the Monarchs had the power to ‘turn Earth into their own personal sandbox’. Did Acedia get rid of Mole's memories for that purpose? So that he would 'belong' only to them. I wonder though, why Mole, and if there were others, if Mole had to watch those around him die, or worse when they gave an answer that it didn’t like. I wonder what Mole has had to do to scrape by and survive, what he’s been through. But Blu pulls him along anyways, kind of against Mole’s will. Like obviously being with Blu, Lucy and CG is better than being with a horrifying shadow monster, but aforesaid horrifying shadow monster is going to be pissed at him. I wonder how he’s going to react to that, if he’ll lash out at Blu or worse, Lucy for rescuing him because now it’s gonna be angry and he’s gonna have to be the one to deal with the fallout of that.

Then the scene where Blu pretends to buy tickets to appease CG? It’s for comedic relief, but again it makes me think about Blu. Is he doing it because he knows CG will be annoying if he doesn’t? Or does he genuinely not want her to be hurt? I’m not sure. 

Then the campfire scene. Lucy looks away when Blu removes his mask, Mole tries to lean in to see what’s behind it. Blu doesn’t like this, I assume it’s a sensitive subject, but Mole is again, kind of out of it. Mole is scared of Blu and Blu clearly knows this, even kinda uses it to freak him out. I’m looking forwards to see that relationship developing, maybe one that contrasts Mole’s relationship with Acedia, I dunno, someone who cares about him in this really twisted way that hurts him, and someone who at first doesn’t care at all(at first), but still takes care of him in spite of it. I dunno… just vibes.

And Lucy’s little ‘what if we tell ghost stories around the fire’ breaks my heart. It’s like she too, is in denial to a certain extent. This is just a fun camping trip not the end of the world. Everything is fine. Everything will be fine.

Then the post-credit scene. There’s presumably, something left of the government that is working to try and deal with the Monarchs, which gives me hope that there might be a way to stop them, a way to stop all this death and destruction. I am curious about what’s left of this order, what the gov was like during the war, and how they’re operating now. Also the way the commander calls the droid C21, and the way that CG is called CG, and the way that he says ‘find the girl’ and C21 frowns and does this have something to do with Lucy’s mom??????? What does any of this have to do with Lucy? Does she know more than she’s letting on, or does not even she know what she knows??? Help I need answers.

Also all the characters in the credits. I desperately hope that they find the main cast and all become friends pls.

CG’s little song is beautiful and I think that it embodies the heart of the show. Like I said earlier a lot of the stuff I’ve watched recently tries very hard to be dark and edgy and a dystopian show where all the characters have been trapped and abandoned and tortured is the perfect setup for some grim and gritty TV. But it’s… not. The characters are funny and lighthearted and smiling in spite of all the shit that’s going on around them. The characters are trying to be nice, to be good. They are connected, they are a family. It is a dystopian setting for sure, but I think that the story is about family, about love and caring for each other. The story is about Blu, Lucy and CG playing eye-spy. The story is about Lucy smiling when she tells Blu her mom said he was a bad influence. The story is about CG wanting Blu to get some rest and take a break. The story is about Mole’s desperate panic at trying to stop the train before it hits Lucy, and Lucy not wanting to leave him to die. The story is about four people sitting around a fire, listening to music.

I really love this story, and I hope to see more of it one day. It’s really beautiful.

[starshinegarcia]

Holiday House: Chapter 2, Dinosaurs

1.2k words

"For a moment, I was heavenstruck"

The sky was dimming slowly, a light shade of pink as you pulled your Beetle into the driveway of Aaron Hotchner’s impressive house. It was simple and sleek, like you imagined him to be- chalk splayed out on the front sidewalk, with an overgrown flower bed lining the front door. You smiled to yourself, noting absentmindedly that if you got the job that was something you could easily trim up.

You smoothed your hair down, glancing at your reflection in the rearview mirror. Your outfit was simple, but in no means casual- you had decided to forgo your normal t-shirt and jeans combo for a simple black pencil skirt, with a long sleeved top to match and a slicked-back high ponytail. You had finished the outfit with your own personal flare, in the form of tiny black dinosaur earrings that you planned to show Jack, in hopes that he would like you more. Adrenaline pumped through your body as you approached the front door. You weren’t quite sure which was more nerve-wracking- a job interview, or the fact that it was for the son of an FBI agent. You notice your hands start to shake slightly, taking a final breath before going to knock on the door.

On the other side of the door, Aaron checks himself out quickly in the glass of the door. He was still in his work outfit, just minus the tie and suit jacket, his shirt unbuttoned slightly. He clears his throat as he opens the door, and smiles at you standing there, looking- absolutely beautiful.” Aaron silently curses himself for that thought, reaching out a hand in your direction. “Good to see you, __. I’m Aaron Hotchner.” You flush slightly as you take him in- muscled figure, l a r g e hands, all business but still smiling at you as you reach out to shake hands with him. “T-thank you for having me, Mr Hotchner, it’s an honor.” “I’ve heard a lot about you from Penelope.” Aaron remarks, as he indicates for you to come in. You laugh slightly, walking inside and glancing around as he shuts the door behind you. “I’ve heard pretty much Penelope knows- which is a lot, but mostly stuff she’s deduced over the years.. I hear you’re not much of a talker.” Fuck, why did you say that?

Thankfully, a smile tugs at the corners of Aaron’s lips. “I just like to keep my personal life and my work as separate as possible.” He walks towards the kitchen table, pulling a chair out for you like the gentleman he is. You thank him, sitting down opposite him on the wooden chair. “So, __, tell me about yourself. I would like to know more about you, before we get to the formalities.” “Well.. I’m 29, about to be 30, I have a bachelor’s in child development but I’ve been working odd jobs while looking for something more permanent. I’m originally from the West Coast, I have an older sister but my parents are, uhm, gone, and I love being creative with my hands as well as music.” Your voice trails off slightly, but Aaron just nods, intently listening to you and scribbling down something on a notepad in front of him. Your eyes drift down to it, not able to make out anything but the FBI emblem at the very top, which made you flush as you realized just how important this man was.

“Thank you, and I appreciate you sharing that with me. It must’ve been difficult losing your parents so young.” Aaron meets your gaze, eyes soft as he scans your face, memorizing the peaks and valleys of your cheekbones, the curve of your slight dimples as your lips curled into a grateful smile. “It was. But, enough about me. I’d love to hear about you, and about this job, if that’s okay?”

As Aaron explains his position to you- how much his job requires him to be away, how Jack had been acting out recently and he knew it was because he needed one on one attention, that Jessica deserved to live her own life with her own family, and how losing Haley had been difficult for both of them. Your heart swelled with sorrow and emotion for this poor family, and for Hotch, dealing with being a single dad alongside the difficulty of his profession. You watched his gaze harden as he talked about losing Haley, but soften once again when mentioning Jack. “So, I basically would need someone to live-in, because I feel it’s time that Jessica gets a life of her own. I’m not gone all the time, but my hours are inconsistent, so it would be a full-time position. All costs would be covered- I’m more than happy to give you my card when I’m away, for groceries, outings, what have-you. I trust Garcia, so I believe I can also trust you.” A soft blush creeps up your cheeks as you nod, shifting slightly in your chair as you study his face. “I’m fully prepared to move in, sir, whenever you need, as soon as possible.”

He opens his mouth to speak again, but as he does, the pattering of small feet comes down the hall into the kitchen, stopping right below you as you glance down and see Jack gazing up at you, brown eyes blinking in surprise. He was tall for his age, probably taking after his dad- with a sweet smile and freckles dotting his cheeks. Aaron chuckles, lifting Jack onto his lap and gesturing towards you. “Jack, this is Y/N, the nice friend I told you about. Can you say hi?” Jack waves eagerly, studying you with wide eyes and looking at his father. “Is she your friend, Daddy, or mine?” Aaron smiles slightly, smoothing down Jack’s messy brown hair that looked strikingly similar to his own. “Both. But, she’s mostly here for you.” Jack nods, studying you once again and reaching out towards your ears. “Dinosaurs!” You laugh, nodding and taking one off and placing it in his hand. “I thought you might like those. See, it’s a T-rex!” Jack jumps off his father’s lap, grabbing your hand and tugging you. “Come see my dinosaurs!” You glance at Aaron, looking for approval, and he nods,“Go ahead.” You follow Jack into his room, adorned with dinosaurs galore, gasping dramatically as Jack starts play fighting you with a brontosaurus.

Hotch watches the way you talk with Jack, as you follow him down the hall, your face bright and engaged, with a sweet smile on your face, and there are so many thoughts running through his head. How amazing would it be to come home to your smiling face every day? Taking care of Jack, of course. And that sweet, floral vanilla scent you carried would be permanent.. But you were here for Jack, of course. And that clear, strong sweet voice, ever present,drifting from those beautiful lips.. Aaron clears his throat, standing up and steadying his mind and body as he grabs the folder of paperwork from the kitchen counter, laying it out on the table in front of your chair with a pen. He had already made up his mind- it didn’t take long to know that it was the right thing to do- for Jack, of course. ;)

"For a moment, I had cosmic love"

A/N: AHHH it's here! enjoy my lovelies!! comments and suggestions always open!!

[elliespassagerprincess]

𝐈𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞?: 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘢𝘮𝘴 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

This story is based off the song Is there someone else? by The Weeknd. If you can please listen to the song while reading:)

(Fun fact I love Abel’s music, I’ve been a XO for years so it’s only fitting for me to use his music, and with that you can expect a lot of stories based off his songs! Anyway let’s get back to the story;) )

Pairing:  Jackson!ellie x fem!reader

Requests are always open, feel free to leave one, or just send me a song and I’ll take it from there!

Warnings: mentions of cheating

Summary: All Ellie wanted was for you to forgive her

I know that you're hiding something from me

That's been close to your heart

And I felt it creeping up every day

Baby, right from the start

Ellie sat across you, as she watched your hands fidget. She knew there was something off about you. She knew you were hiding something from her. And if she had to guess by your recent behavior she could tell that it was serious.

You’ve been acting strange for the last few months now. You were distant. Cold. You weren’t that ray of sunshine she fell in love with.

As the days go by Ellie can’t help but feel more and more alone. She didn’t only feel alone, but she became touch starved by the distance you kept from her. You were there but you weren’t. You were hers but you weren’t. You started talking to her less, you stopped any form of physical contact with Ellie. No more hugging, no more cuddling. Nothing.

And in the beginning Ellie was concerned. She thought maybe you were sick, or hurt. But as time went on and you were pulling away from her not just physically but emotionally too- Ellie knew there was something much deeper than a sickness. For weeks she’s searched her brain to try and figure out.

What the hell was wrong with you? How could she help you? Did Ellie do something? Was your behavior her fault? What the fuck is happening to the love of her life?

I know that look you give when we're fighting (fighting)

We're fighting (fighting)

'Cause I used to be the one who was lying (lying)

Oh, lying (lying)

Ellie stared at you, your gaze cold. She looked into your eyes, and normally when she would look at you, your eyes would be filled with love and admiration for Ellie- but all she could see was anger. Hatred. Ellie became sick of your behavior and she decided to confront you. The argument started off simple, with Ellie saying something along the lines of “are you ok?  you’ve been acting weird babe. You know you can always talk to me” What was supposed to be a normal conversation escalated very quickly.

“Baby look I don’t want to argue with you- I just need you to be honest with me” Ellie begged. She looked at you with pleading eyes.

You scoffed “as if you have ever been honest with me”

As soon as those words left your lips, tension filled the room. The room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop.

One night after a very rough day on patrol, Ellie and Dina went out. After a couple of drinks, the two girls ended up, hooking up in your house. It didn’t take a long time for you to find out. Ellie wasn’t really good at hiding things.  And when you found out you were crushed. And Ellie knew she messed up a good thing as soon as she saw the tears fill your eyes as she told you. Ellie was filled with guilt and regret.  You almost left Ellie that day. But you didn’t. You stayed. You stayed because you loved her. You gave her a second chance. A chance to prove herself. It was hard for you in the beginning but eventually you and Ellie went back to ‘normal’. But that normal didn’t last very long.

Oh. Now everything made sense. Ellie sat there, mouth agape, at your response. She heard you let out a huff “look Ellie- I love you. But I can’t just forget and move on’’

 Before any words could leave Ellie’s mouth you spoke again “I need space, I need someone who won’t do what you did, because if really did love me, you wouldn’t have slept with Dina”

The words rang in Ellie’s ears:

” I need someone who won’t do what you did” You wanted someone else?

“If you really did love me, you wouldn’t have slept with Dina”

Ellie sat there in silence. She watched you pick up a bag walk to the door. “I’m going out don’t wait up” And you left. You didn’t look back. As soon as the door shut Ellie let out a sob. A gut wrenching sob. She knew she made a mistake but she didn’t know that it would lead to this. Ellie loved you. You were her entire world and to hear you say really did love me you wouldn’t have slept with Dina hurts because she loved you. She loved you more than life itself.  

The words bounced around in her head over and over again “I need someone who won’t do what you did, because if really did love me, you wouldn’t have slept with Dina”

“I need someone who won’t do what you did, because if really did love me, you wouldn’t have slept with Dina”

Oh (oh), is there someone else or not?

'Cause I wanna keep you close

I don't wanna lose my spot

'Cause I need to know

If you're hurting him, or you're hurting me

If I ain't with you, I don't wanna be

Is there someone else or not?

Ooh, or not

Ellie felt her eyes gloss over as she watched you sit at the end of the bed. She felt her tears run down her face, in an attempt to not look so vulnerable Ellie brought her knees to her chest, and she put her chin on her kneecaps. You weren’t looking at her- fidgeting with your hands.

Ellie knew you were nervous; the fact you aren’t making eyes contact with her was already a sign. Ellie wasn’t sure why she was crying, all you did was walk into the room and you sat down on the bed. But Ellie had a feeling. Her gut was telling her you were going to say something she wouldn’t like. You were there to break her heart. Ellie let a small whimper and turned to look at her. You didn’t reach out to her, like you normally would. You didn’t comfort her. You just looked at her and you said “Ellie now is not the time to cry” Your face was as beautiful as always. You voice calm, while Ellie was wreck across from you.

“Is there someone else?” Ellie whispered. And as soon as those words left her mouth, Ellie could tell by your facial expression there was. There is someone else.

“No” Ellie whispered, frantic as brought her hands over her ears as she let out loud sobs, repeating the words no over and over again. There is someone else.

For how long? Was it a girl or a boy? Ellie was the other women.

Ellie needed to hear the words leave your mouth. She needed you to say yes. She needed to know if she lost her spot. Being the girl you came home to, being the girl you shared your hopes and dreams with. She wanted to be that girl forever, but she isn’t that girl anymore. There was someone else. Ellie needed to know. Ellie didn’t want to be with anyone but you. You were her everything, even the thought of her being with someone disgusts her.

As Ellie sat there rocking back and forth screaming her lungs out, she felt you gently holding her, and shushing her.

 “Sh sh sh baby its ok” you said softly. Even with the current situation Ellie immediately leaned into your hold, grabbing onto your t-shirt and sobbing into your arms. You were humming a soft tune, because you knew music always calmed Ellie down. You knew her better than she knew herself.

When Ellie eventually calmed down she pulled away from you slowly, looking at your beautiful face. Your cheeks were slightly wet, from crying as well. Ellie asked the question again:

“Is there someone else?”

And that three letter word let your mouth. Ellie wished you didn’t confirm it. But her question was answered when you let out a simple;

“Yes.”

I don't deserve someone loyal to me

Don't you think I see?

And I don't want to be a prisoner to who I used to be

I swear I changed my ways for the better, the better

'Cause I wanna be with you forever, forever

Ellie was drunk. That night that she hooked up with Dina. She was drunk. Alcohol is not an excuse for cheating, and she knew that but she was drunk. Ellie didn’t think that one drunken mistake would cost her the love of her life.

You were too good for Ellie. Too loving. The things Ellie has done in her life that was disgusting, and cruel. Ellie was heartless. Ellie thought no one could love someone as dirty as she was. But then there was you. You loved Ellie for who she was, and now because she was drunk she lost you. The only person other than Joel that mattered to her. Ellie didn’t deserve you. She didn’t deserve someone as loyal and loving like you were. And even when you gave her that second chance she knew she didn’t deserve it. She deserved you leaving her. She deserved you getting with someone else. Ellie tried changing her ways, because she wanted to be with you forever. Till she took he last breathe she wanted to be with you.

 In the months after you and Ellie broke up, she tried proving to you that she was a good person. Even when you broken up she tried. When you had announced this someone else you were seeing was your girlfriend it ruined Ellie. Because she can’t live without you. The fact that you were in a stable relationship with someone that is not her hurts. And even though you had a girlfriend Ellie would still try. She writes you notes, sends you messages through people, pleading that you would give her another chance. Ellie needed you.

 But the more Ellie looked at the situation, the more she realized that this was the consequences of her own actions.

Oh, is there someone else or not?

'Cause I wanna keep you close

I don't wanna lose my spot

'Cause I need to know

If you're hurting him, or you're hurting me

If I ain't with you, I don't wanna be

Is there someone else or not?

Ooh, or not

Ellie looked the grin on your face as you walked down the aisle, you looked beautiful in your wedding dress. Ellie dreamed of this day. The day you would walk to her, and get married. And that you would end up her surname.

But now she was a part of the crowd. She watched you walk down the aisle to your girlfriend of 2 years. Her name was Abby. An outsider that joined Jackson in the recent years. You were marrying the women you had left her for.

 As the pastor exclaimed you may now kiss the bride, both you and that girl smiled as you leaned in for that kiss. You were married. To someone else. The crowd screamed when your lips locked with hers, and Ellie couldn’t help but let her tear fall at the sight. There was no saving your relationship. It had been almost 3 years since you and Ellie broke up, and she still couldn’t move on. Ellie became a shell of the person she was after you left. Ellie was never the same. And Ellie never will be the same.

Many times Ellie fantasies that Abby was the women that cheated on you. She fantasizes that she was that someone else you left Abby for. But that was not the case.

For the rest of Ellie’s life, she grieved your relationship, while you lived your happily ever after.

Authors note: Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you enjoyed! Remember to always love one another and to be kind…. Requests are always open... Thank you so much for the love and support on all my stories, I love all of you dearly!

Yours truly,

Zia:)

[jamesthedigidestined]

A birthday gift to my wonderful @seventeenlovesthree, thank you for always doing your best for everyone, so please spend today doing your best for yourself too. 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

Koushirou sighed, softly massaging his temples as he looked over the monitor. The low hum of his computer‘s fan haunted him, daring the young expert to rouse it from its slumber and use it to make up for his inability to calculate the formulas necessary for his current predicament. Reminding himself of the last time he tried that, Koushirou sighs again and reclines in his chair, a faraway look in his eyes.

October 15th. What was an average day for 0.27378508% of the population was, in fact, a very special day for twelve of them, especially one in particular. Their shining leader, Yagami Taichi, who despite everything they’ve tried has been far dimmer in recent months. No one could blame him; after all, everyone mourned even the idea of losing their partner, but actually losing them?

Koushirou turns his head to the side, inspecting the smooth carapace of a rather large ladybug curled up on his desk and softly snoring.

… No, he simply couldn’t handle that.

Once again, Taichi had proven to Koushirou just how amazing he was. However, that amazingly bright person was incredibly difficult to gift to. He had a hard time even accepting presents that weren’t food, and food felt... wrong, in a way. Ignoring just how voracious everyone’s favorite orange dinosaur was, food was what you gifted those in mourning. This was meant to be a new beginning for Taichi. However, Taichi needs something he can’t refuse...

With a low groan, the redheaded genius stands up, walking over to his window. The Sun had already begun to set, casting the cityscape in a brilliant mess of hues. He studies the sky, watching the slow descent of the Sun and the scattering of photons, leading to the vibrant strokes of red, orange, and pink.

Wait a minute...

Sora reclines deeper into her bed’s bundle of blankets, a large pillow in her lap as she idly listens to music on her phone. Something loud and dramatic, allowing her the ability to leave all of her thoughts behind and focus on the lyrics. Soon, however, her phone’s performance is stilled by a far more mundane occurrence: someone was calling her.

She huffs, annoyed with the interruption, and puffs out her cheeks into a pout. However, as she sees the caller ID, her features soften, and she smiles gently, beginning to tug on her hair and try to look presentable. That is, of course, until she remembers this is a voice call. Laughing at herself, she accepts the call, still fussing with her hair anyway.

“Hello, Koushirou-kun! You’d better be home resting.”

"Hello, Sora-san, and I’m sorry, I’m still at the office.”

“You should spend more time resting, you workaholic.” She teases sweetly, lying down on the pile of plush as she closes her eyes, soaking in his, albeit indirect, presence.

“You know my brain doesn’t turn off even if I am home. Which brings me to my current situation.” Koushirou begins to lead into the topic. Tentomon softly flew over to stand beside his partner, giving Koushirou silent support.

“Is it... Taichi’s birthday?” Sora asks, her voice noticeably softening. She smiles sadly and stares at the ceiling now, her pink pillow held tightly against her bosom.

“It is… I’m sorry, I know you’re all struggling, but you’re my best hope.” He shuffles his feet, gripping his phone a bit tighter as Tentomon leans against his leg.

“Hope? You’d be better off getting Takeru... Truth be told, Koushirou-kun, I don’t feel like I’m the most qualified to recommend anything for Taichi.” She says, turning back over to face the phone once again. “I do appreciate your faith in me, though. I-it means a lot.”

“Sora-san… I’ve always had faith in you. And I still do now. You and him are far closer than you realize, and I am perfectly capable of filling the gaps. What do you say, Sora-san, will you help me give Taichi a birthday he won’t soon forget?”

Sora, for her part, is at a loss for words. Feeling more complete than she has for a while, all she can do is softly cry and smile, affirming her agreement with a few soft sounds.

Taichi stares at the clock in a mix of contempt and acceptance, knowing his shift was almost over did little to ease the tension in his shoulders. What was a normal day for, uh, some percentage of people was his birthday, and he had to work. Someone just had to call in sick. What a crummy start to the day. At least everything started to slow down for the end of the shift.

A coworker makes their way over to Taichi, waving him down with a clipboard. “Excuse me, Yagami-san? Package for you at the front desk. Sign here, please.”

Taichi, perplexed but not surprised, signs his name, and the coworker walks off. Seeing no reason not to check it out, he makes his way to the front desk, where he’s greeted by a... bouquet? A soft blush immediately greets him, a certain redhead popping into mind.

Shaking free his thoughts, he reaches the counter and basks in the bright glow of the plants. In the center lies a tall, proud stem adorned in bright orange flowers, like flames licking his fingers as he carefully strokes them. Surrounding them is an assortment of purple and red flowers of various types, with a huddle of pink to the side. Some he recognizes, such as the purple lotuses, but most he couldn’t even begin to describe.

Beginning to inspect the flowers, gently wading his hand through to the pink plants, he suddenly recoils in agony. Inspecting his finger, he finds a hole. He was stabbed. Putting the now-injured digit into his mouth, he grumbles as he looks closer at the offending flowers.

“a fucking cactus...”

With a grumble, he begins to now search the pot itself for answers, and like a wish come true, he finds a note tucked under the container. Gingerly moving the pot, he picks up the letter and begins to read it. It says…

“Hey Tai, you big dummy! It’s been a while since we’ve talked. There’s a lot that doesn’t need to be said, but there is at least something that I will say... I’m here. Kou-kun is here. Everyone is here for you. It may be tougher to meet up, but at least me, Kou, and Mimi will be ready for you.” Written neatly in red ink, he could tell Sora’s handwriting anywhere; however, it continues...

“And by 'ready’, she means we’re already at your apartment! Hope you don’t mind? (^\_−)☆“ … Mimi, you b-

“I am sorry, Taichi-san; she so much as heard we were going to invite you out and decided inviting ourselves in would be better. On the plus side, your bed should fit four people comfortably and is structurally sound.” KOU WHAT ARE YOU IMPLY-

“Anyway, Tai, it looks like we’ll be hanging out at your place! We ordered takeout and rented some movies, so I hope we can make it up to you. Sorry for the intrusion. ❤️

P.S. Flip me over! —>”

After doing so, he’s greeted with a short list of what each flower represents. The purple flowers are a mix of lotuses and chrysanthemums, representing enlightenment and loyalty, respectively. The red flowers are a mix of anemones, which mean new beginnings, and sunflower-like gerbera daisies, which... have the meaning scratched out in red. The neat purple letters surrounding it indicate Koushirou wrote it, but Sora must have scratched it out... All that can be made out is an L, so it must mean luck, and Koushirou simply made a mistake. Maybe. Finally, there is the pink cactus flower, which means pain.

Shaking his head and smiling, Taichi folds the note and slides it into his pocket. He checks the clock again and grins, seeing that his shift just ended a few minutes ago. Moving to clock out, he can’t help but notice a flash of orange and the glint of teeth across one of the pachinko machines. You know, maybe today’s going to be a good day after all.

[blankat]

songfic #1 - Captain Jack by Captain Jack

Okay, so. I've just had an idea of starting to write songfics and I'm going to a Captain Jack concert next month so I've been preparing for it by listening more to their music lol. Anyways, I wrote this on my phone, it's not proofread so please just ignore any mistakes you find lmao. I think I might even used the wrong pronouns for Aaron at some point in the fic i'm so sorry. It's just a lil' something i put together in like 10 minutes lol

Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader Warnings: heavy alcohol consumption word count: 1.3k

Hotch knew it was a bad idea to send y/n on an undercover mission to a Project X sized house party among teenagers, but she was the youngest therefore she could blend in the best. y/n indeed blended in perfectly, in fact, she did it too well. 

The team knew who the unsub was and they also knew they would be at the party, so they thought it would be an easy and quick mission to finish; y/n goes in, spots the unsub then brings them outside where the team would wait for them. 

“Oh God, there are a lot of people here, how will I find them?” y/n asked in a slightly panicked voice, she really didn’t like crowded places and the fact it was crowded with a bunch of horny teenagers, mostly boys, made her feel uneasy. 

“Just take a look around, talk to people, it should be easy to spot our unsub.” Hotchner told her softly through her earpiece. He really wished he could be inside with her. 

“Okay, I will need a minute, I’ll tell you if I find them.” y/n said and started going around the enormous house, slightly wincing at the blaring music now and then. 

“I don’t think i’ve seen you around, are you new in the neighbourhood?” A boy smirked at y/n holding a beer. She smiled at him sweetly. 

“Yes, I just moved here recently. One of my friends invited me, actually.” y/n hated small talks; one of the reasons she and Aaron got together later rather than sooner was because she wasn’t willing to make any small talk with the Chief. But in the end it worked out perfectly well for them and she couldn’t be happier about it. She wished she could just spend the night with Hotch, cuddling on their couch, watching some crappy movie on the TV. 

“What are you drinking? I’ll bring it to you.” The boy smiled at her, looking at y/n’s body. 

“Oh, nothing, but thank you.”

“Come on. You came to a party and you’re not drinking? What are you, 40 or something?” he laughed. Y/n was offended, she wasn’t even 30 yet. “I’ll bring you a surprise drink then, I guess.”

“That’s really not necessary.” y/n tried to protest but then Aaron’s voice caught her attention in her earpiece. 

“Drink something. But be careful.” he told her. Anything to blend in. 

Many, many drinks (which Hotch didn’t know about) and about an hour later the unsub left the party through the back door, thankfully Emily and Derek were there quickly to arrest them. With that, today’s job was done and they could finally go home, however when Aaron notified y/n about the situation, he didn’t really get the answer he was thinking he would get. 

“There’s a bit of a problem I think.” y/n slurred, making Hotch sigh. She didn’t listen to him about consuming just a bit of alcohol, enough to blend in. y/n was drunk, not a little and Aaron knew he had to get inside to take her out of there. 

“Are you okay, y/n? I’m going in to get you, where are you exactly?” he asked while making his way into the house. 

Answer from y/n about her position wasn’t necessary because as he went into the house, she was in the middle of the room dancing with a lot of drunk and horny teenagers. He looked at his girlfriend then locked eyes with one of the boys next to y/n.

“Yo, who’s that old man there?” he asked the others and y/n head snapped to the direction where Aaron stood, eyes widening. 

“Shit. Um, that’s my daddy, I actually sneaked out of the house. I think he’s here to get me and lock me in my bedroom forever.” she slurred laughing at her own lie. 

Aaron made his way to y/n and grabbed her hand to take her out to the fresh air. 

“Wait no! This is a really good song, can we wait until it ends? Pretty please!” she said, looking at him, praying with her hands. Aaron raised an eyebrow at her. 

“Let’s just go outside, you can hear it there perfectly well y/n, come on.” 

Aaron realized quickly that y/n being drunk was an understatement. She was wasted. Barely able to stand, let alone walk. He wrapped an arm around her waist and helped her outside. 

“Forwarrrrrd, march!” y/n sang along as she in fact tried to march forward, only to fall face forward onto the muddy grass. 

“Jesus, y/n!” Hotch tried to pick her up but she just flowed out of his hands like liquid. y/n laughed and after some time she stood up so they could actually start walking out of the party. She tried to dance to the music while walking but she was so intoxicated, it seemed like she had a serious seizure and Aaron couldn’t help but laugh at her girlfriend. 

“Go left, go right, go left!” y/n shouted and took a step in the wrong direction, almost falling again but Hotch catched her successfully. It felt like a whole new mission to him. Rescuing Agent y/l/n out of a house party. 

“Honey, that’s the wrong direction.” he said softly to her but she just continued to sing along, well it was more like one big slur. 

“Hmmm the alcohol is free here, did you know that? This is my new favourite bar!” y/n said excitedly. They were almost out of the gates when she suddenly stopped holding up a finger. 

“What? Are you sick?”

“Nooooo, Hotchy Potchy, I’m waiting for my part.” she babbled like a toddler, smiling wide. 

“Your part?” Hotch furrowed his brows, having a really hard time understanding his own partner. Before y/n could answer him, she started singing again. 

“Weee arrre running to the railroad trackkkk, run alonggg with Captain Jack!” the she abruptly stopped her singing and seemed to be thinking for a minute. Hotch didn’t say anything just waited patiently. “Actually, I haven’t seen Captain Jack in this party, so I don’t really know where i’m supposed to run.”

Aaron just laughed at her face; confusion mixed with a bit of sadness. 

“Sweetheart. Let’s just run to the car okay?”

“Is Captain Jack in the car?” she looked at him squinting her eyes. 

“Yes, he’s definitely there. Now come on.” he laughed, placing his hand on y/n’s waist, leading her out of the gates but she stopped again. Aaron sighed looking at her. 

“Wait. I want a kiss first. I might be able to run faster if you kiss me.” she slurred and he just laughed and kissed her softly. 

“What the fuck? You’re a freak! Why are you kissing your own father?” the boy from inside yelled at y/n and everyone else looked at them in disgust. y/n’s eyes widened as she took Aaron’s hand and started running outside to the car. They definitely just killed the party. 

When Aaron helped y/n into the passenger seat, she seemed to forget about Captain Jack being in the car. Instead, when he got into the car and sped down the road y/n looked at him, deep in thought. 

“Hmmm. It was a really good song, I just don’t know what those few foreign lines mean.” she said and looked out the window. He raised an eyebrow, he knew the song very well and he knew it didn’t have any lines that were not in English. 

“Which lines do you mean?” he asked, unable to hide a smile. 

“Deedado.” she said simply. Hotch just snorted. 

“What?”

“Deedado, badeedado, badeedadeedadeedado. And then it’s half English. She sings badadadeedado, left right right left. I don’t know what it means.” y/n said confused. 

“Love, I think you should close your eyes and relax until we get home. Then I'll put you into bed, okay?” Aaron said smiling looking at y/n who was already fighting sleep.

 Eventually she fell asleep in the car and Aaron couldn’t wake her up when they got home so he just picked her up and placed her into their bed. 

[heliza24]

Let's talk about the music in Young Royals! (Part 1)

This post, which will focus on the needle drops used in the show, is the first part of a two-part analysis. Part 2 will focus on the original score.

I love the way music is used in Young Royals. It was one of the first things that attracted me to the show, but it's only recently that I’ve stopped to think about why I find it so effective. I used to (in a pre-disability past life) work in the music industry, and I’ve been missing my old job a lot lately. So I thought I would use some of my knowledge (and my media analysis skills) to write this meta. I've tried to link a youtube video for every song I reference, so you can go and listen to the tracks if you want to.

First, let’s talk about some logistics. “Needle drops” are when a show uses a pre-existing song as part of the score (like literally dropping a needle on a record player; isn’t it weird how that terminology has stuck around even while the technology has changed?). You can also call them music syncs, which refers to the fact that in order to use pre-existing music in film, you have to obtain a music synchronization license from the copyright owner (this ensures that the recording artist and the songwriter get paid for the use of their music). The person in charge of selecting songs and clearing the rights for them is called the music supervisor. The Young Royals music supervisor is Magnus Palmborg, and I think he does an incredible job. (He was also a co-writer on Simon’s Song, so we really have a lot to thank him for).

Music serves a very important role in Young Royals. I believe that the selection of songs and use of the score really helps establish one of the most important themes of the show: the dichotomy between the public and private self. So much of Young Royals is about the images characters consciously try to project and the pressure society puts on them to act a certain way, and the way that conflicts with their actual internal feelings.  And this dichotomy exists very clearly in the music too.

Most of the needle drops in the show are big, bold pop and hip hop songs. They are usually played over montages of the students at Hillerska, often towards the beginning of the episode, and they reflect the “cool” image that the students are trying to project to each other. The very first time we see Hillerska, “Wannabe Ghetto” by Fata Boom is playing, and the lyrics “keep up the front like it’s your mission/Look our best, cover up what’s missing” perfectly sums up the pressure the students feel to fit in at such an elite school. When everyone is getting ready for the welcome back party in 2.1, the incredibly confident "Ripe" by Flavia is playing. The lyrics “no need to go to work unless you're working on my body” are full of sexual confidence, but they also play while students are putting on makeup and trying to look their best, literally working on their bodies. (Flavia is one of my favorite finds from the soundtrack by the way. She makes total queer bangers, I recommend checking her out). 

It’s probably worth talking briefly about the opening title card here. A lot of shows have full opening sequences, with their own theme song. Young Royals eschews this, choosing instead to just flash the title on screen over an existing scene, often with a needle drop (but this changes each episode). I think this approach works really well, because it lets the music clue us in to the mood of each episode. A lot of episodes start with a very intimate scene, like the music room scene at the beginning of 1.3, and then contrast that with a burst of pop music during the title card that reminds us of the front the characters are normally projecting. In 1.3 the title card is shown over a montage of Felice struggling in the stables and is accompanied by a loud, lyricless pop song. That contrast from the intimacy of the music room, to a space where Felice feels like she’s always pretending, is really effective.  

But sometimes needle drops are used to reflect more intimate, genuine emotions. Sometimes the show does this by making the song semi-diagetic. (Diagetic music is music that exists within the story that characters can hear; so Simon’s Song for instance is diagetic). At the beginning of episode 1.1, Wilhelm is listening to “Bad” by Farveblind, which has the lyrics “I think it’s bad/I think it’s lame/I think it’s horrible” over and over again, which is a pretty clear indicator of how Wilhelm is feeling. The show does a similar thing in 2.3, when Wilhelm listens to “The Lonely Ones” by Lova in his headphones when he walks by the lake. He’s feeling lonely! He listens to a sad song! That’s pretty straight forward. 

But sometimes the way the music captures characters’ genuine feelings is a little more subtle. I actually think that there’s a lot more of this in season 2 than there is in season 1. There are a few examples I love from season 1, but most of my favorite examples are from the latter half of season 2. This perfectly reflects the journey that all of the characters, but especially Wilhelm, are going on; as season 2 goes on he gets more and more in touch with his real feelings and less and less able to pretend to please the royal family. These songs tend to be a little quieter than the flashy pop and hip hop that represents the facade of Hillerska, and you sometimes have to think a little bit about how the lyrics are illuminating what the characters are feeling.

Some of my favorite examples in season 1 include  “Holes (Deep Throat Choir Remix)” by Zhala that plays during Erik’s funeral, which has the lyrics “And I lose myself inside”, reflecting Wilhelm’s descent into grief and the way that he’s about to push Simon away, and “Sunday” by Gina Dirawi that plays as the girls are setting up for the sleepover and Wilhelm is going over to Simon’s house in 1.5. The lyrics “but I can see you clear here” reflect the fact that both sets of characters have found a sense of comfort with each other. But my absolute favorite example in season 1 is “Samurai Swords” by Highasakite, which plays while August uploads the video of Wilhelm and Simon to the internet. “I am leaving/I’m unleashing/I unravel to the leeches/I’m unpleasant/I’m unloving/So call out the guys with the samurai swords” plays while the camera focuses on August, reflecting his emotional state and also the fact that uploading the video is an act of self-harm for August (the image of samurai swords makes me think of seppuku, or the ritualized suicide that samurai warriors would commit instead of falling into enemy hands) and an act of aggression against Wilhelm and Simon. And when the camera cuts back to Wilhelm and Simon the lyrics say “someone else will love like a rainstorm”. The melody is so wistful and sad, like the show is already nostalgic for the perfect love that Simon and Wilhelm had which is about to be marred by the outside world. 

In season 2, I really love “My Awe Sustains” by Ari at the top of 1.5, which perfectly captures the feeling of longing between Wilhelm and Simon (this is my other favorite discovery from the soundtrack; the whole album For Evig by Ari is one of my favorites now) and “I Wanna Be Someone Who’s Loved” by Tusse, which is included after the fight in the music room in the same episode. The lyrics to this one are really heartbreaking: “You make me feel like I’m invisible… Thought it would help but no one hears my call/No I won’t give up/I want to be someone who’s loved.” The lyrics capture how much Wilhelm wants to make his way back to Simon, but there’s frustration in melody too, which reflects how trapped he currently feels. “Please Don’t Go” by April Snow and Elias in episode 2.3 is another really interesting example. It plays right before August invites Sara to his room “just to talk” and before Simon tries to break up and Marcus doesn’t let him. The lyrics “I asked you to leave but I meant that I want you to stay/I need you to hear what I mean and not what I say” seem to capture the push-pull in both sets of relationships, and how all of the characters are trying but failing to really communicate what they mean.

But I think my favorite needle drop in season 2 that's used to illuminate the inner thoughts of a character is "Mirror" by Mogli. The song starts playing right after Wilhelm's last session with Boris in 2.5, when he realizes he has a choice: he doesn't have to become king. He could let August inherit and be with Simon. The lyrics "You don't want to be sad anymore/And I can't laugh/ No I can't laugh/I want to win this race but you can't lose/I let you score" underscore Wilhelm contemplating August in the Forest Ridge common room. Letting August inherit the crown would be letting him "win" in their invisible war for power, but what would that matter if Wilhelm gets to be happy with Simon? We see Wilhelm come to that realization, and then in the next scene he tells Simon that he's willing to give up the crown for him.

Since we’ve talked about the opening title card needle drops, we should probably address the fact there is also often a song over the closing credits as well. Again, this doesn’t happen in every episode; sometimes original scoring is used instead. But when a needle drop is included at the end of an episode, it feels like foreshadowing for things to come. My favorite is the end of 2.1, right after Wilhelm has a meltdown on the call to his mom. “Seize the Power” by YONAKA plays, and seems to signify Wilhelm’s arc for the rest of the season: 

“Woke up this morning, I feel so fucking important/Look in the mirror, I’m different, I finally made a decision/All the rejected that lost a lack of respect in themselves cause people get hectic/they hurt you and make you feel helpless/they’re not brave like you/they’re too scared to do/anything that’s different, anything that’s new/I don’t need lessons/I do what I want it’s refreshing/as soon as you taste independence/you start living life in the present”

Season 2 is all about Wilhelm realizing he needs to claim his independence and start living his own life, so the lyrics perfectly represent his arc. Plus, the melody of this song is driving and angry, which helps carry forward the momentum of Wilhelm’s conflict with his mom through the end of the credits and reminds us how urgent this need to stand up for himself is.

You’ve probably noticed that I haven’t talked about “Revolution” by Elias or “The Most Beautiful Boy” by The Irrepressibles yet. I saved these two for last because I think they get the most fan discussion of all of the music choices in the season, and for good reason. To me these two are almost the theme songs of their respective season; everything centers around them. They occur at the same place in the season (at the end of 1.4/2.4 and 1.6/2.6) and they encapsulate the lessons that Wilhelm needs to learn: how to stand up to his mom and defy what is expected of him, and how to prioritize his love for Simon.

(I’ve also already talked about “Holy” by Elias in my post about the sex scenes here).

Overall, I love the way that needle drops are used in Young Royals. I know some people have complained that the songs don’t have much to do with the story, but to me nothing could be further from the truth. The songs capture both the societal expectations of Hillerska and the tender, inner workings of the characters. They help us understand the pressures put on our main characters and illuminate how they are really feeling inside. Plus the soundtrack is filled with queer, female, and POC artists who are a delight to discover.

I would love to hear your interpretation of the needle drops in the show. Do you have a favorite song on the soundtrack? Is there something I missed that you want me to talk about? My ask box is open and I would love to hear your thoughts!

[overtrred28]

Stargirl | matildas x original character fic [part five]

Words; 2.8k

Pairings; matildas team x astrid taylor (OC)

Warnings; swearing

masterlist

Astrid was beyond happy to be back home with her family. Although she had learnt over the years to be more independent and happy on her own while away on national camps and now with Sydney FC, she always missed her parents and tried to spend as much time with them as she could when she came home. 

Over the week she made sure to catch up with her extended family who lived close by, visiting her old club and teammates and spending plenty of time at the beach even though it was nearing winter time. 

Of course she kept up with her training and fitness even though she was technically on a break, knowing that even a small falter could impact her chance of a spot in the squad on the next camp. So even while she was out of her regular environment, she kept up with her routine; wake up, go for a run, have a smoothie, go to the gym, do a bit of training on a pitch with her dad and then have the day to spend catching up with the people she loved. 

Astrid loved being back home with everyone for the week, but a small part of her missed the life she had created for herself in Sydney, finding solace in having a space to herself. So after saying her goodbyes to her friends and family, she began the drive back, obviously playing Taylor Swift the whole way. 

She had only been driving for 30 minutes when her music was interrupted by a phone call from Lisa, her agent. 

“Hey Lisa.” Astrid spoke after answering the call. 

“Hey Astrid, how you doing?” Lisa asked. 

“Yeah I’m good, just on my way back to Sydney now. How are you?” Astrid was a little confused at the phone call but maybe she had something important to tell her.

“Nice. Yeah I’m good.” Lisa paused. “I know I’ve been M.I.A for a little bit, sorry, but I’ve got a few updates for you.” She added. 

“Oh okay. Yeah?” Astrid had been waiting for Lisa to get in contact with her for a while.

“Okay, so first up, next Matildas camp. They’ve set up two games against Spain and Portugal, and though no squad announcement or calls have been made, I’m feeling hopeful for you. Mainly because of your recent performances and the fact a lot of senior players won’t be joining.” Lisa informed her and Astrid felt a smile grow on her face. 

“Those games will be good and yeah, hopefully.” Astrid responded, waiting for Lisa to continue. 

“Second; club season.” Lisa paused.

“Yep.” Astrid grew nervous, having waited a while to hear anything since the season finished.

“Sydney FC have put in an offer for you to sign on with them again for the 2022/23 season which is great, you know everything and everyone there. And we know how much you can succeed there.” Astrid let out a sigh of relief. “I’ve also been contacted by some international teams… if you are interested.” Lisa added on. 

“Wait, are you serious? Who-what? Like what? They-who's interested?” Astrid sputtered out, heart stopping at the mention of international offers. 

“Well as you know, recently the Swedish League has picked up a lot of Australian players. A lot of who you are friends with in the Matildas. We've gotten two offers from two different clubs over there which is really incredible for you and really, really great for the Matildas as well.” Lisa was feeling a lot of pride in the young athlete as they talked about her first professional contract now that she was 18.  

“What this is crazy. Like who was- who's interested because that's, that's incredible.” Astrid was smiling widely, trying to concentrate on the road ahead of her while listening to the agent.  

“We've had offers come through from FC Rosengård where Charli and Teagan play. And also from Hammarby IF where Kyra and Courtney have just signed which is really great for you. I think your friends over there may have put in a good word, not that they needed to with your talent.” Astrid’s jaw dropped at this. 

“Okay.” Was all she could respond to Lisa with, this was crazy.

“I know this is a tough decision obviously, and this is just me telling you the information. You haven’t even seen any of the paperwork or what they are explicitly offering, so I have emailed them to you, and when you're back in Sydney take a look and have a think. They've given you a little while to decide, but their season has already started so I think they want to know as soon as possible.” Lisa paused. 

“Yeah, okay.” Astrid was brought back down from her excitement high, realising she would have to decide soon if she was ready to move overseas or stay at home in Sydney.

“Look, I know this is a big thing, especially because moving to a new country so young, it's a big decision for you and your family as well. But I really think that this could be really good for your career. This could also be the next step into getting over to the WSL which I know is your dream.” Lisa was right. Playing in the WSL, especially Arsenal, was her life goal and this could be a leg up. “I'll let you ponder and when you get home, take a while to read these offers.”

“Yeah of course.” Astrid’s mind had already begun to spin. 

“Don’t forget about the Sydney FC one as well, if that's something you’re wishing to continue, you know I am happy for you. It’s something you're used to, you've made relationships with people there and had a great season. But you've also got relationships with people who are in this Swedish league as well, so I'll let you think and get back to me in the next few days hopefully.” Lisa finished.

“I will.” Astrid nodded to herself, shaking her head to pause her spiralling thoughts until she got back to Sydney.

“Take care Astrid, speak to you soon.” Lisa said before Astrid bid her goodbye and they hung up. That’s a lot to think about.

Astrid got back to her apartment, immediately dropping her bags and pulling out her laptop, bringing up the emails Lisa had sent her. When she finally saw the offers she believed it, and a tear sprung to her eye, her lips curling into a small smile. She had finally proved herself as a footballer. 

Just 18 years old and she had received international contracts. She couldn’t believe it. Mary had moved overseas and joined Montpellier a few years ago at 17 so she knew it was possible to be at that level so young, but she never thought it would be a possibility for her.

She hadn’t even read over the offers before instantly thinking about all the time she would spend with Kyra and Courtney or Charli and Teagan at either club, how much fun they could have in a new country together. But then her mood changed at the thought of leaving home, leaving Sydney FC and Cortnee, especially having created such a strong relationship with her and the team over the past 5 months. She didn’t know what to do, and she didn’t want to decide alone. But before she did anything, she needed to read the offers she was presented. 

Sydney FC had only offered her another one year contract with a decent sum, obviously unaware other clubs had gained wind of her success and thought that she would stay on with them for a bit longer. FC Rosengård had also offered her a one year contract with a higher sum in an attempt to buy her out of Sydney FC, and by joining them she would be with Charli, her best friend. The best looking offer, according to Lisa in her email, came from Hammarby IF. They had offered a two year contract with the most amount of money, which didn’t matter that much to Astrid right now, and said they would help her in finding housing, transport and other necessities to get her on their team. Joining them would also mean joining Kyra and Courtney who were also just starting out over there. 

Her thoughts began racing again, this time allowing it unlike in the car. Do I really want to leave? Am I ready to? Am I really good enough for these clubs? Why don’t Sydney FC fight for me more?

Her breathing became a little more rapid and her chest tightened like it does when she feels a panic attack forming. The best way to stop it in the past has been to talk to someone, letting them talk her through it and calm her down. 

Logically the first person to call about this would be her parents, especially because she normally runs straight to them when she has any sort of major problem or news. But her first thought was to call one of her found sisters, Cortnee. 

After a few rings, the older girl finally picked up. 

“Hello?” Cortnee’s voice came through Astrid’s phone. 

“Hey Viney.” Her voice came out shaky, she tried to conceal it as best she could. 

“Hey, what’s up? You okay?” Cortnee furrowed her brows while sitting on her own couch with her partner Charlotte.

“Yeah, I’m okay. I just-” Astrid cut herself off, deciding whether it was a good idea to call her. 

“Astrid?” Cortnee called out after a few seconds of silence. 

“Sorry, it’s stupid. I shouldn’t have bothered you.” Astrid shook her head, walking around her small kitchen.

“Hey, stop. Are you still back home or your place yet?” Cortnee was becoming increasingly worried, jumping up from her couch quickly, Charlotte watching with concern.

“I just got back to mine.” Astrid simply answered her. 

“Okay. Do you need to talk about something?” Cortnee asked softly, trying to get an answer out of her. 

“Sorta, yeah.” Astrid breathed slowly, trying to stop her panic from growing. 

“Do you want to do it on the phone? Or would in person be better?” Cortnee looked down at Charlotte who was confused, she mouthed ‘Astrid’ to her and Charlotte nodded in understanding. She had watched their sibling relationship grow while training with them at Sydney FC, glad Astrid knew someone while settling into the new environment all those months ago. 

“I don’t know.” She paused to think. “Maybe in person… only if you’re not busy, it’s not that urgent.” Astrid rushed out, feeling bad to drag Cortnee from anything. 

“No, it’s okay.” Cortnee looked down at Charlotte, silently asking if it was okay to go over; of course she nodded yes. “I’ll be there in a bit.” 

“Okay, thank you.” Astrid breathed out. She hung up the phone and closed her laptop, not wanting to stare at the offers again until Cortnee was there. 

10 minutes later and Cortnee was in Astrid’s kitchen, making them some tea before walking back over to Astrid on the couch. They hadn’t really spoken yet, besides greeting each other and Cortnee telling her to go sit down. 

“So, what’s going on?” The older girl asked, passing a cup to Astrid. She took a sip and a deep breath before talking, placing her cup down. 

“Lisa called me while I was on my way home today.” She eventually lifted her eyes to Cortnee. “Sydney have offered me another contract for next year.” She bit her lip. 

“Hey! That’s amazing.” Cortnee was visibly proud and happy and that’s what made Astrid’s heart sink again; how could she ever leave her? Cortnee could see she wasn’t as excited as her. “Or not?” She put her own cup down. 

“I also got offers from two other clubs,” Astrid finally spoke again, Cortnee listening intently. “In Sweden.” Cortnee’s jaw dropped. 

“OH MY GOD!” She smiled widely with pride and leapt forward to hug the young girl gently. “That’s fucking incredible.” Astrid let out a small laugh at Cortnee’s excitement. “Who with?” 

“Rosengård and Hammarby.” Astrid smiled softly. 

“Oh the girls will be so happy, have you told them?” Cortnee asked. Astrid shook her head and her smile faltered. “What’s wrong?” Astrid bit the inside of her cheek, trying to stop herself from crying.

“I don’t know what to do.” Astrid quickly wiped a tear that fell from her eye, Cortnee raising an eyebrow to prompt her to keep talking. “I don’t know if I’m ready. I mean I’ve only been in the A-League since November, not even a year nationally. What if I can’t keep up over there?” She began expressing her overgrowing thoughts. “And I’m only just 18, like making an international move is a big thing. And I’ve begun making a life here in Sydney with you and the girls. I would feel bad for leaving you because you’ve given me so much.” Astrid’s tears fell as she finally broke down. Cortnee’s heart broke at seeing her like this, she had only ever seen Astrid cry from happiness. 

“Come here.” Cortnee beckoned her closer, pulling her into her side. “This is a massive opportunity for you and your career. The Swedish league is one of the best. It can really help you become a better player. Just look at the improvement Charli and Teag’s have had since moving over there.” She began to comfort the girl. “And as for Sydney FC, you could stay with who and what you know, but you don’t have to.” She rubbed her hand up and down Astrid’s shoulder.

“But you do.” Astrid looked up at Cortnee. 

“Because that’s what I want to do. I’ve had international club offers come to me but SydFC is the place for me. Doesn’t mean it’s the place for you.” Cortnee was trying to encourage the younger player to try new things. “I have full faith in you and your talent, and you can definitely keep up over there. I mean, you scored two goals in your only two national team games. Like that’s just fucking crazy.” Cortnee shook Astrid who began to laugh.

“Thanks.” Astrid muttered before thinking. “So you’re not mad that I could be moving to Sweden?” 

“Of course not. I’m so happy for you.” She pulled her in for a hug. “If it’s what you really want to do, then go for it.” She let go and they looked at each other. 

“Okay.” She nodded to herself, eyes falling to her kitchen island. Astrid stood and collected the laptop before sitting back down and pulling up the offers. “Help me pick?” Astrid smiled at Cortnee who nodded and began reading the offers. 

After a while of seriously considering all the offers and what the clubs were like, Astrid had almost made her decision. She didn’t say it out loud to Cortnee yet, telling her she wanted to talk to her parents first and thanking her for coming over but to get back to Charlotte at home. 

That night she called her parents and told them about the offers. They were over the moon, so proud of what their not-so little girl had achieved so quickly. They were also scared and had a long, extensive talk with Astrid about the possibility of moving overseas, which was a difficult one to have. The conversation felt very similar to the one they had when she moved an hour away for Sydney FC, but on a much larger scale of course. She may be an adult now but she was still their child and wanted to know she would be safe when they couldn’t be there.

She still had a little while to decide and pick the offer that worked best for her and what would benefit her career the most but she felt she needed to decide quickly before she thought about it too much and did the wrong thing. 

So that night she texted her best friends. 

the best tillies 💚💛

Ky Ky 🪁

Cha Cha 💃

Nevy 🙉

Starry ⭐️

Starry ⭐️

hey guys

got a question for ya

Nevy 🙉

yes????

Ky Ky 🪁

I might have an answer…

Depends 

Cha Cha 💃

WOW

Actually using this chat besides sending 50 million tiktoks

Starry ⭐️

Wow Charlotte

How kind of you

Cha Cha 💃

Hurry up

Starry ⭐️

Moving on from your rudeness…

Do you guys know of any good coffee shops in Sweden?

You know how I need coffee to function every morning

especially before training

Nevy 🙉

WHAT THE FUCK

Ky Ky 🪁

NO WAY

Cha Cha 💃

ARE YOU FINALLY MOVING TO SWEDEN BITCH?!?!?!

Starry ⭐️

So is that a yes?

To be continued….

[w1ldheart]

about me

Hi! I recently got tumblr, so this blog is quite new. I’m a 15 year old european girl interested in things like literature, cinema, poetry and music. I hope you will enjoy my blog and here are some facts about me!

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･𝜗𝜚

my fav movies: the virgin suicides, lilja 4ever, the silence of the lambs, breakfast on pluto, lost in translation, priscilla, harry potter, pearl, black swan, girl interrupted, gone girl, buffalo’66 and more..

my fav books: sharp objects, the silence of the lambs, the virgin suicides, the picture of dorian gray, frankenstein, elvis and me, the stranger, pride and prejudice, but I have quite a lot on my reading list..

my fav artists/bands: lana del rey, jeff buckley, hole, mitski, radiohead, fiona apple, the smiths, the cure, mazzy star, ethel cain, deftones, pj harvey, nirvana, billie eilish and a lot more but I feel like I’ve already written too much.. ⊹ ࣪ ˖ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

my fav shows: skins, american horror story, peaky blinders, the end of the fucking world, scream queens

Random stuff :) 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

I have an obsession with the 60s aswell as the 90s

almost all my fav people are dead (jeff buckley, heath ledger, brittany murphy, marylin monroe etc..

I read, watch movies and listen to a lot of music if u didn’t catch that 😃

I wanna stay 14 forever (I’m turning 15 next month)

I have been a hugee lana fan since about 2021, I got into her entire discography in 2022 (I wish I did that earlier but I was young)

I will shitpost a lot! and post random thoughts I have

I’ve seen lana del rey live in concert, also ethel cain, deftones, pj harvey and mitski! (yes that were all the greatest moments of my life)

if anyone wants to be mutuals, my dms are always open !

I’m usually very bored and this will be like a diary and just my random thoughts 💕

Stay safe, see ya around!

[daily-coloring]

Best of 2024 - Albums

Average year, I haven't even rated any records 100 out of 100 on AOTY, which is sad. Anyway I had some DJ mixes on repeat all year around, for example Shygirl's Fabric mix which is so heavy and so groovy, perfect for driving. Also maybe because I visited Berlin twice this year, this Boiler Room mix gave me goosebumps. Another few also ridiculously good, like SG Lewis & Tove Lo's San Francisco mix, Andre VII's Mexico mix, Miss Monique's DJ Mag mix, the brilliant MAW's live mix from Johannesburg and my recent favorite, Jojo Lorenzo from the states, who made this great darkwave mix last month for Halloween.

But now lets jump onto the albums. Just as an interesting fact, from the top 50 I seen live 6 artists. Yeah, I've been going out a lot. Also went to YES! (my most favorite place in Manchester) to see Clementine Douglas before she even released her debut album. She was fantastic.

01. The Irrepressibles - Yo Homo! - "Diving more into personal narratives now more than ever, the new album focuses on deeply emotional songwriting from such a specific point of view that’s not really touched upon much in the music industry - a complete breath of fresh air that I’ve taken to instantly. Yo Homo relays this punk rebellious sound throughout that unashamedly projects a call for proudness and authenticity, a love letter to the openess surrounding sexuality." - Wilder Records

02. Allie X - Girl With No Face

03. Lola Young - This Wasn't Meant For You Anyway - "Lola Young’s fierce, funny and assertive songs run on outsized emotions, the 23-year-old singer emboldened and finally embracing everything she has to offer. ‘This Wasn’t Meant For You Anyway’, Young’s first full-length album, moves with an auteur-like touch to its production; opulent soul set pieces stand tall next to raw, scratchy indie tunes, all of which see the south Londoner face desire in its many complications. It’s a collection that feels equally empowered and tormented. Or, as one Instagram commenter put it, this is music that could make a listener “want to pick up a refrigerator and throw it”." - NME

04. Fontaines D.C. - Romance

05. Tsatsamis - Our Shame

06. Orla Gartland - Everybody Needs a Hero

07. Nadine Shah - Filth Underneath -"Songs of loss and confusion, ‘Filthy Underneath’ is also marked by a certain kind of certainty. It’s as though amid all this pain, all this negativity, Nadine Shah has found herself once more." - Clash

08. Lanark Artefax - Metallur

09. Mahmood - NEI LETTI DEGLI ALTRI

10. Beth Gibbons - Lives Outgrown

11. Kasper Bjorke - Puzzles

12. Nicolas Jaar - Piedras 1

13. ionnalee - CLOSE YOUR EYES

14. Jamie xx - In Waves

15. Andre Bratten - Slay Tracks

16. The Smile - Cutouts - "It is an immersive and all-encompassing record that is at its best when you play it loud, allowing all of the vast textures of sound to wash over you. In its quietest moments, the album is still full of beauty, which simmers beneath the surface, beckoning us closer." - Far Out Magazine

17. Kim Gordon - The Collective

18. Telenova - Time is a Flower

19. Rosa Anschutz - Interior

20. Emiliana Torrini - Miss Flower

21. Golda May - Say It Back

22. Michael Kiwanuka - Small Changes

23. Dawn Richard & Spencer Zahn - Quiet in a World Full of Noise - "Here, Richard and Zahn have captured grief like a carved piece of obsidian—glossy, beautiful, and sharp." - Pitchfork

24. Nilufer Yanya - My Method Actor

25. Crystal Murray - Sad Lovers and Giants

26. Joywave - Permanent Pleasure

27. Foushee - Pointy Heights - "Creeping under the thirty-minute mark, ‘Pointy Heights’ is full of thrills, a conceptual body of work that makes each moment count. In doing so, Fousheé continues to earn her stripes as a vocalist driven by self-expression, stitching together her intrigue for the past, present and future." - Clash

28. Crazy P - Any Signs of Love

29. Porches - Shirt - "On his heaviest, spikiest album to date, Aaron Maine’s shredded production and raw arrangements evoke existential angst and quotidian despair." - Pitchfork

30. Rachel Chinouriri - What a Devastating Turn of Events

31. Kaleida - In My Arms

32. Erika De Casier - Still

33. NewDad - MADRA

34. Dua Lipa - Radical Optimism

35. Laura Masotto - The Spirit of Things

36. Smerz & Allina - Allina

37. DJ Cam - Broken Melancholy

38. 1010benja - Ten Total - "On his chic, adventurous, hybrid-pop debut, Benjamin Lyman is a world-weary optimist and DIY maximalist with a voice fit for the mainstream yet made for the arthouse." - Pitchfork

39. Polar Inertia - Environment Control

40. IDLES - TANGK

41. Psycho Weazel - boysdontcry

42. The Blessed Madonna - Godspeed

43. L.A. Suzi - Nem sírok, csak táncolok

44. Lime Garden - One More Thing

45. St. Vincent - All Born Screaming

46. Gavin Friday - Ecce Homo

47. Lihla - Socha

48. WILLOW - empathogen - "Throughout the record, she seems committed to tearing down barriers between her potential audiences, just as she enjoys pitting their tastes against each other." - Sputnikmusic

49. Gossip - Real Power - "If you like a bit of retro with a modern twist and music that can both grab your heart and kick your teeth in, I’d give Real Power a listen… possibly whilst eating a Freddo whilst you can still afford one." - XS Noise

50. Jespfur - Pedestrians of Bright Silence

[vivianbernadetteaurora]

Nancy Spudgen

Absolutely love this woman and I’ve just done a podcast on my Spotify and cherry info dump, please feel free to listen about how strong women are often degraded and major feel not good and Nancy features in his episode along with Courtney Love Margot Robbie and many of us, to get it right otherwise it’s not right and I’d put a video recently as well on my TikTok about how much people hated Nancy and describing it and I honestly feel and I’m not just rubbing this in that if people got which is just describe me and many people would hate me also, I have just been by my neighbours selling math which is a drug. We don’t even get over here., I literally leave my house twice a week to go to the pharmacy with my mother and my my mother is the one who helps me. I support dogs also., in fact I told my landlord I was assaulted here at the time I said can I have a new property? Can I go somewhere else? He didn’t help me and maybe, but the other neighbours haven’t been here as long as he’s never had a problem with me at all I’ve never given him anything to be annoyed about. It’s just my paranoid neighbour, hasn’t been here for months and then not my face but I have always had this thing thing where I can tell when people don’t like me and it is quite often which is, and this is how I feel. Nancy must’ve felt a lot of her life maybe Nancy didn’t care but I guess deep down that she probably did I mean she was a deep Pisces a double Pisces at that Pisces rising and Pisces with a Gemini moon, this woman suffered whole life and she only lives till 20 she said she even predicted the fact that she wouldn’t live past the 21st birthday🌑 and her mother even knew that she wasn’t, she was born into this world where the mother couldn’t hold her for days born with the umbilical cord wrapped round her neck and which caused brain damage, and then these men from the UK who are working class have the right to this woman some skank who comes from middle-class Jewish background not that I’m saying classes to do with it but it’s just the irony of it,

Her family in fact especially her mum because I’ve read her book were disgusted by wishes they didn’t think he was talented at all and I tend to agree with him. He is not a very talented musician in fact Courtney Love and being a talented version of silly Nancy Nancy is talented in the way of spotting things and realising things are going to be a success so she would’ve made a good manager and like business woman if she’s gone down a different path or even in the music industry it doesn’t have to be she had it where her mind was behind her body so she got talk guitar and she found it really frustrating because she couldn’t because her mind was behind her body. Her body was growing fast as a child scream murder literally every day and when her youngest sibling came along which was another girl she absolutely hated it and treated the younger sibling really bad! then she had a younger brother so she actually didn’t treat that badly. Maybe it was because he was a boy. I’m not too sure but the household get her away because it was just easier than having to go through her mood swings anyway once she moved to the UK, they barely saw her. They spoke to her on the phone every day and she was very close to her mother.

But from the ages of about 19 she was just gone that was it they did see her back-and-forth and when they said at night she moved to New York Nancy being from Philadelphia they did see them from time to time but said what a bad way they were she said talks about one time how they met met them on the train platform and how everybody was staring at them and they looked really out of place. They both like translucent and really white and they just didn’t look very well and everyone was staring at them and they weren’t even aware of it at the time. She said that Nancy said we’re just like any other couple and that said try to act like her son and called her mother., himself didn’t have a very good mother, his mother was a drug addict and his drug dealer. A lot of the time gets blamed for her addiction but one he’s older and his mother was already an addict so people will get your stress and read. I can’t live like this anymore by Deborah Spudgen

[sharpmouth]

do u have music recs I’m jealous of ur obscurify rating <3

of course :)

fun fact apparently my 98% is all time but my CURRENT (last 6 weeks) rating is 99% obscure.

some recent artists ive been rly into have been rivi palomino, sarah morrison, midwife, sister grotto, grouper, autumn took her life, vyva melinkolya, anyone’s ghost, and katie jane garside.

tbh i just listen to a lot of experimental/instrumental type music. i go to “similar artists” and just queue up a bunch of songs that look interesting to me.

i’m assuming my 2% of non obscurity comes from the regular pop and alt rock i listen to. like, cher’s walking in memphis was my top song this week. i listen to plenty of mainstream stuff too i just also spend a lot of time trying to find new weird stuff to listen to.

some other artists i’ve listened to a lot recently(off the top of my head): i hate sex, fair mothers, how to kill snapdragons, lydia, wulven, explosions in the sky.

hope this is helpful for you!!

honestly if anyone has recs for me i’d love that! i listen to pretty much anything, genres just depend on my mood lol.

[putschki1969]

“Sono Saki e” Random Thoughts (Review?)

Please be sure to ❗SUPPORT Wakana❗ in any way you can! Especially if you decided not to order any physical copies. You can purchase and stream Wakana’s 3rd original studio album “Sono Saki e” on various sites (mora, iTunes etc) and streaming platforms (Spotify, YouTube, Apple Music, etc). • ————— ¤ ♫ ¤ ————— • BUY the album on mora (TUTORIAL here) BUY it in your local iTunes store • ————— ¤ ♫ ¤ ————— •  

Phew, this post is long-overdue. I’ve actually had this “review” sitting around in my drafts since May 30 but I wanted to wait till my physical copies arrived (unfortunately, my package took forever T_T). We have had multiple opportunities to listen to the tracks (or at least snippets of them) and of course I also listened to the digital album as soon as it became available. I’ll be honest with you, my initial reaction to the snippets and later the full tracks was rather lukewarm but in the past couple of weeks, most of the album has grown on me. So far my TOP 5 in order of their track listing are “Rapa Nui”, “標 (Shirushi)”, “希望(Kibou)”,“明日を夢見て歌う(Asu wo Yume Mite Utau)” and “Flag”.  Here are some random thoughts on the album as a whole and the individual songs ┗(•ˇ_ˇ•)→

Vocals: I’m not gonna write an analysis on Wakana’s vocals since I obviously lack the technical knowledge for that sort of stuff but I would still like to vent a little. In recent times, Wakana has talked a lot about how she is constantly refining her skills, working with a vocal coach and discovering new ways to use her voice, however, I fail to hear any real results of those efforts. I have to wonder if her vocal coach (or Takebe in his role as producer) are even giving any sort of effective advice because it certainly doesn’t seem like they do. The Japanese mindset probably keeps them from providing proper constructive criticism. This has always been an issue in the Japanese music industry but I am noticing it more now that Wakana, Keiko and Hikaru can no longer compensate for each other’s weaknesses. I don’t mean to bash or anything, you know I would never do that. I can still appreciate their solo vocals and for the most part I definitely enjoy Wakana’s vocals in this album but sometimes I get frustrated when it’s clear that the girls are not reaching their full potential or are using styles that are absolutely unflattering. I mean, who is telling Wakana (and Keiko for that matter) it’s a good idea to over-affect her voice or to sing in a register that is simply too high? Pretty sure this stuff is up to her so I guess it is a conscious choice and no one is guiding her in a better direction. I know for a fact that Wakana is capable of using a fuller, steadier voice but for some reason she often falls back on singing styles that don’t do anything for her and make her sound quite generic or borderline amateurish. It’s a shame...Rant over.

Visuals: The botanical and watery backgrounds/colours fit Wakana’s image perfectly. I wouldn’t say it’s a good match for the theme of the album but I don’t really mind. These are probably not my favourite looks for her but there are still some super lovely shots included in the photobook and lyric booklets. I originally thought all those light spots were a filter but they really used strings of light for the shoot. Not sure yet if I am a fan of the finished look.Something about it doesn’t really work for me.

Bonus material: No idea why they decided to add a DVD instead of a Blu-ray but I am just grateful we got footage from the Christmas live. It’s a solid concert with many good performances so I am happy there’s official footage. Too bad they cut the Christmas songs though, I remember enjoying them a lot. The audio tracks are a nice addition but I think instrumental versions of the album tracks would have been a nicer bonus. The exclusive fan club track is nothing to write home about, wish they had included footage from the after-talk instead or maybe the Christmas tracks.

Editions: As always, I appreciate that we get different booklets for every single edition. Makes it so much more fun and worthwhile to collect different editions. Overall I would day that all versions were reasonably priced for the content we got. And I am glad they once again decided to go for an LP-sized package with a big photobook. They look so good on my Kalafina showcase/shrine. Small nitpick: The quality of the large photobook isn’t what it used to be, it’s much thinner paper now T_T Makes it easier to scan though so I guess it’s not that bad.

Promotion: As far as the promotional campaign is concerned, I would say it’s sufficiently wide-spread on the media front but it feels a little lackluster in terms of in-store presence. Many Japanese fans have complained that the store promo for Wakana’s “Sono Saki e” wasn’t up to par with all the displays that were prepared for Keiko’s “Cutlery”. Thankfully we got the release events which added a bit of hype. Altogether, her performance in the Oricon Charts wasn’t too shabby either (#28) so the marketing team must have done something right. On a side note, I still very much appreciate the relatively high production value of Wakana’s solo works (especially compared to Hikaru’s and Keiko’s stuff). It’s clear that a lot of money is still invested in Wakana so YAY for that.

Overall thoughts: "Sono Saki e” has been a long time in the making so despite my best efforts, certain expectations have been building up. I know of course that getting my hopes up too high is a stupid thing to do because it will inevitably set me up for disappointment but I am only human and after three years of waiting, I was in a serious Wakana drought. However, now that the album is finally here, I feel a surprising sense of indifference (?) towards it. My reaction to Keiko’s latest album should have been indication enough but I think it’s becoming more and more obvious that I am suffering from a serious case of Kalafina-solo fatigue. It seems like I am steadily falling out of love with their solo music which makes me incredibly sad but I guess it was bound to happen at some point. I am not even saying that I dislike the album but there is just a lack of sparks I guess? Objectively speaking, I would say that Wakana’s 3rd album is quite good, I thoroughly enjoy around 60% of it and I’ve been listening to a lot of the songs on repeat. But I am just not as invested as I would like to be. On a side note, is it just me or does the album feel a little too rushed (despite its long production period)? I would have wanted the album to reflect the three years worth of thought and effort that were supposedly put into it but that’s honestly not the vibe I am getting here. I mean, they decided to include an instrumental of one of the tracks AND a literal copy-paste version of a previous album track, that just screams last minute decision to me. I guess it’s because the actual production didn’t start until much later so ultimately, there was a lot of rushing involved but still, it’s a shame.

●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～ ●～●～●～●～

M1. Butterfly Dream: I feel like everything has already been said about this. It’s fun with the visuals of the PV but without those, the song loses a lot of its charm for me. Even though it’s the leading track of the album, I find it a bit underwhelming, maybe because the melody isn’t really resonating with me? Also, not a huge fan of how Wakana seems to over-affect (if that’s the right word?) her voice during quite a few parts of the song (especially during the chorus) to sound cute/innocent. She sometimes does this for certain types of anisong covers but it’s honestly not the most flattering singing style in my opinion. I guess the outward “cuteness” of the vocals appeals to a wider audience so it’s not a bad thing per se. I mean, there must be a reason why they picked this as promo track for the album (Rating: 2.5/5) M2. Rapa Nui: Definitely the most exciting and refreshing track on the album. The Celtic(?) sound matches Wakana’s voice perfectly. Kinda sounds like something you would hear at a medieval festival. Reminds me a bit of Kalafina’s “Moonfesta” or Hikaru’s “Fili”. Based on the title, I would have expected the song to sound totally different but I am honestly not mad about how it turned out. It’s great that they used the Rapa Nui language for some lines, spices up the whole thing. I initially believed that the song could have benefited from a stronger chorus but by now I’m literally obsessed with it, can’t get the melody out of my head :P Some of those ultra-high notes don’t sound pleasant to my ears but it’s not on a level where it takes away from my enjoyment. Contemplated taking half a point off for it but at the end of the day, it’s not worth it. It’s such a superb track (Rating: 5/5) M3. 標 (Shirushi): Sometimes this song doesn’t really affect me all that much and other times it makes me cry like a baby (especially when Wakana sings “この先も力に歌うから”). In many ways, it reminds me of “Ai no Hana” which has a similar theme and is one of my favourite tracks from Wakana’s first album but I need to hear it live to get the full experience. The same is the case for “Shirushi”. And I also have to be in the right mood for it. I am not 100% sold on the melody but Wakana’s vocals are gorgeous and the emotion she puts into her singing is just out of this world. On top of that, we have beautiful lyrics and a precious backstory, I can’t help but give this song a high rating (Rating: 4/5) M4. 希望 (Kibou): With the exception of “Rapa Nui” this is probably the only track that instantly clicked with me. Even when we just got a snippet of it, I immediately fell in love. The melody is just the right amount of cheesy in a good way, it hits me right in the feels. I think it comes closest to a standard power ballad or a 90s pop ballad. I am a huge sucker for those and it is obviously the type of song I love to hear from Wakana. Is it just me though or could Wakana have used a more flattering singing style for the chorus? She is going very high and it tends to sound a bit strained. For me, this is on the very edge of sounding screechy, a little higher, a little flatter and I probably wouldn’t have enjoyed it. It’s clearly a challenging track but not necessarily something that Wakana can’t handle imo. Really curious how she will be handling those parts during a live performance. Hopefully she can tweak her style a bit to make it more suitable for the song. Another tiny nitpick is the bland bridge, I wish it had a little more oomph, it’s neither here nor there but oh well, I am so smitten with this song that I can’t really focus on any of the negative aspects (Rating: 4.5/5) M5. 殻 (Kara): Who thought it was a good idea to do a “Tsubasa 2.0.”? I really wish they would have come up with something else. They had more than enough time to look into other options. I understand the intention of course, “Tsubasa” is solid and highlights some of the grittier parts of Wakana’s voice but that doesn’t warrant a blatant rip-off. Enough complaining though, I feel like I am way too harsh on “Kara”. On its own merits, it’s actually quite fun and yeah, just like its predecessor it works flawlessly to highlight Wakana’s voice in a different way, I like her more feisty singing style. Objectively speaking, I really can’t fault this song but it still doesn’t quite hit the spot for me. Thankfully, Wakana’s singing makes up for it (Rating: 3.5/5) M6. そのさきへ(Sono Saki e)～Interlude～: The melody is not striking enough. I am usually a sucker for a good instrumental piece but this one falls a little flat unfortunately. Wakana keeps saying that she cried when she first listened to the demo but I really wonder why...However, I will have to say that the gorgeous piano playing of this interlude does appeal to me more than the melody in the normal version of the song (Rating: 2.5/5) M7. KEMONO feat.清塚信也: I’ve said it before and I will say it again, every cell in my body is rejecting this type of song. I know that’s a me-problem and I feel horrible judging Wakana’s work based on such a personal preference.This reminds me way too much of some of Keiko’s city-pop (or whatever) tracks. The singing is too fast, there is no proper flow, the melody is all over the place, it’s just outright chaotic. I am sure there are people who can appreciate this new experimental style but I am unfortunately not one of them. I generally don’t like giving low ratings but it is how it is, please know that this is purely subjective (Rating: 1/5) M8. 明日を夢見て歌う(Asu wo Yume Mite Utau): The melody right at the beginning and sprinkled in-between the verses is what initially attracted me to the song, so pretty. However, the rest of the song didn’t leave a huge impression when I first heard it during the Christmas concert. I remember I compared it to “Boku Dake no Stage” because it was also composed by Takebe and I thought it was similarly bland. I realise now that this was a very unfair comparison because those songs have absolutely nothing in common. “Asu wo Yume Mite Utau” is much better imo and aligns more with my preferences in terms of music style. Maybe a comparison to “Toki wo Koeru Yoru ni” would have been better even though Takebe didn’t compose that one... Anyways, after letting the song marinate for a while, I’ve surprisingly come to love “Asu wo Yume Mite Utau”. I’d even go as far as to say it has become one of my favourite tracks from the album. The arrangement is lovely and so are the lyrics. Also adore Wakana’s singing here (Rating: 4/5) M9. Flag: This is probably the most Kalafina/FictionJunction-esque track on the entire album so I understand why it is so popular among YK/Kalafina fans. Personally, I have never been the biggest fan of YK’s more generic anisongs so this track initially didn’t impress me all that much, it was just okay for me, nothing too outstanding. But after hearing it performed live multiple times, it has significantly grown on me. It’s a really solid song and it works perfectly with Wakana’s voice. Even though it might not be the type of music I naturally gravitate towards, it’s still a banger. Especially when you take the Kalafina nostalgia into account. Fun fact, the most recent version with Sakurada has made me add 0.5 points to my initial rating, it was just so good (Rating: 4/5).  M10. そのさきへ (Sono Saki e): Ughhh, I really wanted to love this song but so far my attempts have all failed. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to get into it. I mean, there must be something to love about it when I hear Wakana rave about the demo tape as if it were the best thing since sliced bread. What exactly is it about the melody that made her cry so much? It still baffles me that this was written by the same person who was responsible for “Kinmokusei” which I absolutely adore. There are some tiny similarities but all in all, “Sono Saki e” feels rather uninspired in comparison to “Kinmokusei”, at least in my opinion. Hearing it live during the release event has also not done anything to make me appreciate the song more. I am afraid it is a lost cause... (Rating: 2/5) M11. あとひとつ (Ato Hitotsu): Nothing much to say here aside from the fact that I adore this song and I am really glad that it’s finally included in an official release. I prefer to hear it live but the studio recording is surprisingly touching too. So understated and yet so charming. I like how Wakana keeps referring to it as prayer, it’s a fitting description. Perfect delivery, as always (Rating: 5/5)

[manysmallhands]

Favourite songs of 2024: 45 -38

Just 8 today: tumblr will not post more than ten links at a time and so i have had to modify my plans slightly in order to post a top 10 when i get to it. Anyway, the countdown continues!! (and you can see the first ten here if you so desire)

45. Dua Lipa - Training Season

My Dua hot take is that Training Season would have been a better lead single to save the album campaign than Houdini. A more accomplished and substantial song, it trades off of its hooks rather than a groove and might easily have caught a few more ears early on before everything went down the toilet. As it is it still stands as one of her best singles, the clipped rhythmic guitar building up a tension which is blasted away by its disco showtune chorus.

44. Halsey - The Great Impersonator

While recently derided for having ‘main character syndrome’ (having committed the great crime of writing about her brush with severe illness), I’ve found Halsey’s candour about her problems both refreshing and identifiable. On this, the closer from her LP of the same name, she's still reflecting on an end that’s averted for now but is resigned to her eventual doom, wondering “does a story die with it narrator?” over a backing delicate and playful enough to undercut some of the heavier implications. A bittersweet joy from start to finish.

43. Georgie and Joe - Student

A light, airy dance bop from an act who I know absolutely nothing about. Like most of my club tunes it sounds very 90s in its way: those little stabs of synth feel quite rave culture to me, but I like the shuffling garage beat too and there’s a melodic lightness that comes off like Aphex Twin in his more delicate moments. My first feeling with this was that it’s quite a basic sort of thing but there’s a song in there if you listen closely enough, with the vocal that drifts thru the track sounding almost disembodied enough to form part of the scenery.

42. JADE - Angel Of My Dreams

(Shout out to my) ex-Little Mixer JADE’s long awaited solo debut seemed to look at the failures of her former bandmates and say fuck it, we may as well go all out. There’s something a little bit k-pop in here, a certain trashiness that feels almost arch, but the key thing that comes off of it is a wild momentum, the way you careen thru the verses, roll up at the mannered, almost prissy chorus and then go off hard again into a whirlpool of bass. A brave marker to set down and, regardless of anything else, an absolute tune.

41. Bebe Rexha - Chase It

I didn’t really like last year’s Bebe LP but this was a strong comeback, one of a couple of brilliant but brief club bangers she released in 2024. Chase It recasts Bebe as a hot n messy party girl (again?) but the key moment is the chorus, where the music steps back and the beat comes in incredibly hard, alongside her “mmm da da da” hook and the endearingly dumb neck dancing choreo. She seems to have been floundering a bit in recent times but an album full of these would be something worth waiting for.

40. Post Malone ft Morgan Wallen - I Had Some Help

A problematic artist has hit the top 40 (there will be more), tho tbf Wallen isn’t in charge of this show, functioning more as a bit of authenticity dressing to let Posty into a country world that might otherwise have stayed closed to him. In fact the real star of this show is the unbelievably catchy hook that runs throughout the song, a guitar line and vocal melody that rang out of radios for months on end and left me agog, both at how ecstatically happy it made me feel and how easily it transmuted the whiny bloke narrative here into something I was comfortable enough to sing along to.

39. Billie Eilish - Chihiro

Billie’s album sometimes felt to me like a lot of flash and less substance but Chihiro found her at her best, a lowkey electronic rumble that gets into the mumbling, hypnotic territory of some of her best material. Occasionally fizzing over after sustained periods of steady building, Chihiro feels as planned in its way as other parts of Hit Me Hard And Soft just felt thrown together, an example of the subtle but devastating songcraft that she and Finneas are capable of.

38. Sabrina Carpenter - Espresso

Sabrina’s four quadrant megahit took its cue from the kind of post disco 80s funk that Doja Cat so effectively mined on Say So, reanimating it with enough soft sexuality and unapologetic goofiness to set up one of the most commercially successful pop eras in recent memory. While her other #1 hits have palled a little as the year went on, this is the one i still can’t stop singing along to even as we move towards the depths of winter. Is it that sweet? I guess so.

Back with more soon!