#and the dynamic between him and her after she finds out he’s sleeping with alicent during the war… 👀

[zoklaanogar]

need a rhaenyra and a daemon to write with jon in his hotd verse badly

[fandom-junkie2020]

Stop Fussing

Aemond Targaryen x Reader

Summary: After a long day, Aemond needs to relax. Y/N finds something entertaining to do.

20. "Stop fussing, I'm just braiding your hair"

Warnings: N/A

Date Uploaded: 7.24.24

Word count: 793

Unedited

Masterlist

Requests are open!

Here are some prompt ideas and a character list!

Aemond Targaryen never received a lot of attention as a child. With his father running the realm and his mother running after Aegon, no one ever had the time to invest in Aemond. A sad reality faced far too often by the noble children in King’s Landing. Because of the unfortunate family dynamics of the Targaryens, Aemond was, in some form, neglected. Of course, unlike many children across the realm, Aemond had privileges: food, clothes, hobbies. The one thing he lacked was motherly and fatherly affection, resulting in him being neglected emotionally. It’s interesting how someone could have everything, yet feel like they have nothing–perhaps it’s a lack of perspective paired with the longing for affection. 

Regardless, Aemond had trouble with affection in his adulthood due to his lack of such as a child. Sure, now Alicent wished to give her children the world, but she could never quite make up for the years she’d spent wandering court, continuing to be a pawn in her fathers games. One person, however, that was able to fulfill Aemond’s overall need for attention was his wife. Although an arranged engagement, the two clicked, making them an amazing couple. Perhaps at times their relationship was unhealthy–this is Aemond Targaryen to which we are referring to. But, in comparison to his other relationships, that of him and his wife was far healthier than any relationship Aemond had seen throughout his life. Y/N was one of the kinder souls that he’d met during his time at the Red Keep. 

Ever since the beginning of the war, however, they didn’t often get the time to spend together. With Aemond’s recent increase in responsibility, it had been very difficult for the two of them to spend time together. Unlike many couples in the Red Keep, the two of them shared a bed, meaning they got to see each other at the beginning and end of the day. Personally, nights were always Y/N’s favorite while the mornings were Aemonds. Y/N enjoyed the nights because of how, despite a hard day, Aemond was relaxed. After his day, even though a bit tense, he was ready to lay in his bed with his wife. Y/N loved this because of the stark contrast between the stiff shield he put up in public versus the tired mumbling and hugs. 

One night in particular, Aemond arrived in their room more tired than usual. He walked through their door, took off the many layers of leather, then walked towards his bed where his wife lay sitting upright against the headboard, book in hand. 

“Hello, love,” she says looking up slightly. 

Instead of replying, Aemond lets out a heavy sigh and lays across the bed, allowing his head to fall into his wife’s lap. 

“Excuse me, hey! I’m reading,” she laughs. 

Aemond looks up at her, removes the book from her hand, as well as takes the bookmark from beside her, and throws the book on the ground next to the bed. 

“Hey!”

He continues on, wrapping his arms around Y/N’s torso and pushing his head as far into her stomach as he could without hurting her. 

Y/N smiles and relaxes, accepting the fate of her book and her schedule for the rest of the evening. “Long day?” she asks. 

He hums in response and lets out a deep breath. 

Y/N runs her hand through his hair. Typically, half of it is tied back and also confined by his eye patch, but now, as they get ready for sleep, his hair is loose, crazily lying about his head. Arguably, this is the main reason she loved nights, having access to his hair with his arms wrapped around her is a blessing. 

As they are wrapped around each other, she begins to twist the pieces of his hair together, imitating many a hairstyle that her handmaidens helped her create on her own head. While the minutes passed on Aemond went into a kind of slumber, the kind where you can talk to someone and they will wake up not remembering a thing. 

Y/N continues until there are multiple braids throughout Aemond’s hair. Eventually, because of all the tugging, he awakens slightly and looks up at her. 

“What are you doing?” he asks. 

“Relaxing,” she replies. 

He then realizes that she seems to be playing with his hair. He starts to sit up a bit, making her lose her grip on some of the braids. “Stop fussing,” she replies, her voice soft yet strong, “I’m just braiding your hair.”

Aemond only grumbled before returning to his relaxing position. 

The two would then remain in their positions until eventually, Y/N would grow tired, shimmy down so that she too could go to bed. 

[bastardsblood]

Bbchan...

May I ask for Alice's perspective on Nen’s mating cycle? I want to know what she thinks about hid behaviour or what she thinks about him...I just want to be in her head...

Hello!

I'm very sorry for the wait! I really love both Nen and Alice, so it was really fun to write for them and their dynamic. I genuinely hope you'll like this short fic!

Though, haha... This turned out to be a much more depressing fic than how I first intended it to be.

Character(s): Alice, Nen Scenario: Alice's perspective on Nen's new behaviour Content Warning(s): Implied past non-con

Alice was surprised that trusting fantastical beings was easier than trusting other humans. 

Of course, that could simply be because she had only met one of the boy's kind—silvaens, as he had called them—and she'd gotten lucky, but it was a surprise nonetheless. A part of Alice was still bitter that the one who had saved her from her doom wasn't another human, but that was to be expected. It seemed only fitting that humanity would've given up on her to the point that the only allyship she'd find in someone would be from a creature of the forest. 

She found the boy's kind interesting. Silvaens, unlike humans, seemed to prefer peace and quiet; solitude over action. They weren't violent, nor were they malicious, Nen said. Though, for all his words, Alice knew that despite their good qualities, their distrust for humans ran deep. 

Alice thought that after all this time, the line between strangers and unlikely allies was finally beginning to thin. While her eyes would still carefully examine the berries he'd bring her, it'd be more so to clean any dirt off of them rather than to hold them in suspicion. And, although she was still uncomfortable with sleeping unguarded in the forest, it was more so because of the other dangers lurking in these woods rather than the man sleeping atop a tree branch above her. 

Alice wouldn't call them friends. She wouldn't, really. But something akin to a pang of hurt seized her chest when he flinched away from her touch. 

Neither of them liked being touched; Alice knew that. Nen's ears often twitched at the slightest of noises, and his tail often circled itself around his leg. It was akin to seeing a scared dog, though Alice felt bad about the comparison. During the first four weeks, Nen would be especially guarded around Alice, yet he was slowly coming round. Sometimes, their fingers brushed when he handed her food, or he'd extend his hand to help her get back on her feet when she inevitably slipped on another puddle. One time he even caught her by the waist when one of her delusions nearly led her off a cliff. 

They weren't friends, but Nen didn't want her dead. After having been caught up in a witch hunt, that's what initially mattered to Alice. Despite the life she led, she didn't want to die, and when the young-looking man appeared in front of her like one of the heroes in the books she scoffed at, even her distrust of others got crushed to the ground by her will to live. A conditional relationship born from a drastic situation—that was the best way to describe it. Still, Alice was almost easing herself into quiet companionship instead. 

Though perhaps that was Alice being too arrogant. Nen was back to acting distant, maybe even more so than before, and she was struggling to come up with the reason why. It was as if the developing relationship of her characters came to a halt due to a writer's block, she thought, but quickly grew embarrassed. The circumstances of her situation were so far-fetched that her mind began to think of it as a story, a place where everything was intentional. However, real life was different—sometimes, people didn't need to have a reason to grow sick of someone. Spending time with a human must've been a novel experience for Nen, but maybe one that was becoming tiresome. Alice was, undoubtedly, annoying and slow in the green-haired boy's eyes. 

She was surprised to find that she felt more saddened than panicked by that realisation. To survive, she had to depend on Nen and his knowledge of the vast yet treacherous forest. He was her lifeline—someone she'd be dead without—yet the feeling that prickled at her insides was closer to the fear of being disliked. 

Alice was far from a people-pleaser; her demeanour and aversion to other people were a clear example. She lived off of the bare minimum of contact with her neighbours and the street merchants, instead opting to welcome the safety and comfort of fictional stories. The outside of her house was cold and cruel, but the inside was warm and gentle—still, she was now without the only layer of happiness she had left, and maybe that was messing with her head. Her delusions weren't as frequent as before either, something she agonised over as much as she appreciated. In turn, however, she became weaker in other ways. 

Namely, the wish to not be abandoned. The first time she realised that, she couldn't help but grit her teeth, breathing sharply through her nose. The sun was setting, and the loud cries of the crickets and the glowing fireflies dancing atop the pond distracted Alice enough to miss the movement of the man leaving his spot at the tree. When she turned around to face him, she was not met with his honey eyes as she'd expected. 

It was a blur from thereon, but she remembered feeling extreme relief as the sound of the disgruntled man's voice hidden within the pond reached her ears. The golden eyes of his still wouldn't meet hers, even as he swam back to the shore and shook his hair dry, but it didn't even cross Alice's mind to find it rude. Above all, she was happy he was still there. She was happy she wasn't alone again. 

She was scared of trusting Nen, but not because she thought he'd physically hurt her. She scoffed, her face warping into something between a grimace and a smile. No, he wouldn't hurt her—she was sure of it; she knew it. He wouldn't pin her down and enjoy hearing her writhe and roll in dirt to stop the pain that was making her break into agonising screams, nor would he bind her and leave her to rot in the middle of nowhere. The pain he could cause would be of a different kind, one she felt with her brother. She thought she hated that pain the most. 

Nen was kind. Her brother was kind. Still, although humanity had long since withered any affection she held for it, a speck of trust could still be held for silvaens. Being vulnerable in front of another human would lead to misunderstanding and betrayal, but maybe—just maybe—showing vulnerability to someone who hadn't learnt and adapted to the nonchalant cruelty of humans would not backfire. 

Maybe he was avoiding her because he was afraid of the same thing. If Alice turned out to be like the rest of humanity, even the smallest drop of compassion for them would dry. It would be an unending nightmare of suspicion and perpetual hatred that would never cease. 

Alice didn't want to hurt Nen like that. A prayer coming from the mouth of a heretic may not mean much, but if she were to choose whose happiness to pray for, it'd be Nen’s. And, if she could be slightly selfish, she'd wish that his happiness included her in it.

[allyriadayne]

I loved your jacegon posts and I have a question I haven't seen discussed among the shippers yet. What do you think would be Rhaenyra's reaction if she learned there was something not quite platonic between Jace and Aegon? She probably wouldn't be happy, but would she try to stop it? And would Daemon be entertained by Rhaenyra's eldest falling for his uncle or consider Jace a traitor for sleeping with Aegon? Also, out of pure curiosity, what potential Jace ship would upset Rhae the most?

hiii thank you!

hm i think she wouldn't be angry per se because we see that unlike alicent, rhaenyra never says anything to jace and/or luke about playing around with their uncles. i think at this stage rhaenyra wants to foster a good relationship between the two groups, though she might think while not wise to let jace attach himself to aegon, her direct rival, she would relate a lot to jace's situation with her own uncle. idk i'm of two minds because she might think it'll never come to anything because her and daemon are too different from jace and aegon.

i can only see rhaenyra stopping or intervening when the tensions are too high like in episode 8 after they fight. of course, rhaenyra would be a massive hypocrite for doing that but i can see her rationalizing it as that it isn't convenient for their side (it really isn't) and that daemon and her chose each other when they were older and there was an actual reason for them to be together (ofc that if she hadn't married laenor she would've gone to daemon is not anybody's business). i see rhaenyra wanting to correct her and viserys' mistakes in the raising of her sons, so for this reason she might stop jace from following that thread. of course, it's fan fiction if you want to say they were already seeing each other before ep8 or "rekindled" after the dinner.

then again, she might respect his decision at this point if he makes an effort to liken his infatuation/bond/lust/love/etc to her and daemon.

if it is during the war and rhaenyra finds out, she's 100% having words with jace. even if she respects him like her equal, this is not the jace she raised, not the jace that puts diplomacy and politics and the war effort before everything. and of course, it's NOT jace because the dutiful perfect prince jace facade he presents to her doesn't exist either!

daemon 100% thinks it's too dangerous, i don't think he would "allow" it in his position as protector of the family/realm. he's brought into the family dynamic to protect them in the ways rhaenyra cannot. i could see daemon having harsher words with jace, to drop whatever game he is playing because he know's aegon's type. daemon is a black and white guy. he wouldn't consider jace a traitor (if we are talking during the war moment) because daemon is an intelligent guy and knows the means justify the ends and knows that jace is the only one holding on the homefront and rhaenyra while daemon is away. he will not alienate jace and risk losing him.

what potential jace ship would upset rhaenyra the most? oh, this is hard because she could respect most of jace's choices in partner. hmm if we are talking during the dance i'd say sara snow for obvious reasons, both in the sense that it would throw more doubt to his claim and that he would drop baela, the one betrothal that actually secures his claim. well, i guess going by that anything that is not baela would disappoint rhaenyra but i think sara snow is the worst of all choices considering the political climate. you know what could've made rhaenyra the happiest? jace and helaena.

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 4/5

Book Blurb:

Two broken hearts decide that the best way to get over their first loves is with a no-strings-attached relationship in this spicy and charming debut romance.

Librarian Marcela Ortiz has been secretly in love with her best friend for years—and when he gets engaged, she knows it’s long past time to move on. But before she gets the chance, she has a bigger problem to contend with in the form of Theo Young, ex-NFL player and older brother of the man she’s in love with. When she discovers Theo's plans to confess his feelings for his brother’s fiancée at their engagement party, Marcela is quick to stop him—despite how tempting it is to let him run away with the bride-to-be. She manages to convince Theo to sleep off his drunken almost-mistake at her place and when they arrive at a family brunch the next day together, everyone wrongly assumes they hooked up.

Since Theo needs a cover for his feelings for the bride and Marcela needs a distraction from her unrequited feelings for the groom, they decide to roll with the lie. Until one late night at a bar, they take it a step further and discover a layer of attraction neither realized existed. Soon, they find themselves exploring the simmering chemistry between them, whether in library aisles or Marcela's bed. There are no boundaries for the rebound relationship they form—just a host of complicated feelings, messy familial dynamics, and uncovered secrets that threaten to tear them apart before they can even admit to themselves that their rebound is working. Maybe a little too well.  

Review:

Marcela has been in love with her best friend Ben for as long as she can remember and Ben is now newly engaged to Alice.... and when Marcela meets Ben's brother Theo and finds out that he's been in love with Alice all along, we've got a love square on our hands as both Marcela and Theo decide to rebound with each other. Marcela is a librarian and has been in love with her best friend Ben for years, they once dated in college, but after an incident where he couldn't lift her because she is "heavier" he told her they were better off friends. Marcela has been secretly harboring a crush and desperately hoping that Ben will return her feelings, yet when he tells her he is proposing to his long time girlfriend Alice, Marcela can only wish and hope that the engagement is called off. When they ask her to pick up Ben's estranged NFL Player older brother, Marcela can't help but say yes. Yet to her great surprise on the night of the engagement party she overhears a drunkTheo getting ready to ask Alice to call off the wedding and to leave Ben... and to tell her he's been in love iwth her ever since they were young. Marcela stops Theo and he opens to her... yet she doesn't tell him that she's also been obsessed and secretly in love with Ben... that they are both going through the same pain and twisted love. Instead Theo and Marcela begin to feel a spark between each other and decide to rebound with one another and to try out a non serious relationship to just see if they can help each other move on. Yet Ben is determined to keep Marcela away from Ben, and as Theo's feelings become more real Marcela's guilt at keeping her secret love for his brother gnaws at her.... and when it all comes out i the open can she finally admit that she might actually be in love with Theo and that he is the one for her or will her insecurities make her lose her chance at the one guy who's willing to see her for her and love her. Messy relationships, complicated feelings, and secrets all come to a head in this complex romance. It's such a fun and messy read and would absolutely make a fantastic rom com movie. I had fun reading it and I adored Theo so much, he really adored Marcela and wore his heart on his sleeve.

Release Date: July 9,2024

Publication/Blog: Ash and Books (ash-and-books.tumblr.com)

*Thanks Netgalley and Forever (Grand Central Publishing) | Forever for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

[harbingerofsoup]

The comprehensive guide for why absolutely everyone should read and watch this work of art.

First of all, Iruma is best boy! He loves his friends and his family, his instinct is to help others, and like… just look at him. So good, so pure. But what truly makes Iruma a protagonist worthy of having a slide to himself is his character development. He actually starts off as a completely selfless person due to how his awful parents groomed him, and his whole character arc is learning how to be more selfish. Of course, Iruma’s selfishness manifests as eating all the food he wants, holding on to his family and friends, and finding ambition.

Sullivan (the first guy) adopts Iruma as his grandson after his parents sold him. This dude radiates grandpa energy and his number one priority is to spoil his new grandson. He’s also the principal of the school he sends Iruma too. And one of the most powerful demons in the netherworld. Opera is Sullivan’s butler, and warms up to Iruma a bit slower than Sullivan (so like a few days). They’re not very expressive facially. Rather they mainly express emotions through their ears and tail. They’re a total Badass™ and surprisingly mischievous. Alice Asmodeus (on the left of the 3rd pic) swore his undying loyalty to Iruma after Iruma accidentally kicked his ass. This man is ride or die, and honestly my words can’t do him justice so it’s better if you just experience this gay disaster for yourself. Clara Valac (right of the same pic) is a gremlin and I love her. Her priority is to play with her friends All. The. Time. But she also has insecurities about her personality after it stopped her from making friends. I put Ameri Azazel (please step on me) in between them. She’s the student council president, a badass, and a huge romantic. Naberius Kalego is the homeroom teacher of the misfit class (the class Iruma ends up in.) He’s a Very strict teacher, but genuinely cares about his students and is good at his job. There are so many other characters, but I want to avoid spoilers and get sleep tonight.

14 year old Suzuki Iruma was raised by his parents to do chores and make them money. Eventually they decided that he wasn’t bringing in enough, so they sold him to a demon who takes him to the netherworld. Instead of eating him though, Sullivan (the demon) asks him to become his grandson, and Iruma, who’s unable to say no under any circumstances, says yes. He starts school at the demon school Babyls (pictured above) where he attends as the only human. Of course if anyone finds out they’ll eat him. While at school, he realizes that he doesn’t have an ambition of his own, so Ameri suggests that he try climbing the ranks (all demons are ranked by their power you know the drill).

This manga is hilarious! With such jokes as Iruma eating a ridiculous amount of food, every interaction between Asmodeus and Clara, and Ameri’s obsession with shojo manga. One of the funniest bits is that due to some unfortunate circumstances, Kalego becomes Iruma’s familiar, and you’ll learn all about this if you check it out, but for now all you need to know is that that fluffy chicken is Kalego. Crossdressing has been used for comedy like three times now, but not in a degrading way. It’s not the butt of the joke or anything. That’s Iruma, and he looks fucking amazing as many other characters have said many times 100% seriously. Moving on, cause explaining humor is difficult!

I adore how Clara is allowed to be a hyperactive gremlin, and I’m not talking “oh she’s quirky” I’m talking playing involves battle axes and acting like a demon bowling ball. You know the trope where the powerful girl isn’t actually that serious and instead is a huge romantic? Well Ameri may be a romantic, but her seriousness isn’t an act. She is 100% dedicated to her ambitions. And look at the designs for some of the recurring background characters! Too often in fantasy settings the female monsters, demons, etc are reduced to almost entirely human, with the exact same body type, and maybe horns or something. Not Here! There’s also the girls in the misfit class who all have their own motivations and interests. I’m also now realizing how many tall girls are in this series… awesome.

Ok so the fact that there’s even more than one queer character already make this amazing. But in addition to that, it’s never treated like a big deal. I mean look at the second picture “gender doesn’t matter to demons” love wins! So Eiko is a recurring character who has a huge crush on both Iruma and Ameri, and later becomes comrades with Asmodeus specifically when it comes to Iruma (they share photos of him it’s hilarious). Asmodeus having a crush on Iruma isn’t explicitly stating, but like I’d like to see someone argue that he doesn’t. Besides, his feelings are always treated the same as Clara’s and Eiko’s when it comes to Iruma. The holy grail of representation though is Opera who’s never referred to by gendered terms. The english dub of the anime actually specifically uses they/them pronouns. When I tell you I screamed! I could go on, but I’m I’m trying to avoid introducing too many characters.

In Mairimashita! Iruma-kun a good family supports and loves each other completely, regardless of blood relations. But it’s not either or. Sullivan, Opera, and Iruma are my golden standard for found family. I mean their love of Iruma is over the top and unconditional, which is what Iruma needs after a life without any such love from his parents. Biological relations are shown as something that isn’t always great, yet it’s not something to be expected either. Clara’s family is a gift, and Asmodeus’ family is one of the funniest dynamics I’ve seen.

These are typically considered negative traits, but here they are portrayed as desirable and useful. And it’s a convincing argument. Through Iruma we see that having your own ambitions and getting pissed is necessary for living a fulfilling life, and we see this because he starts out without having that. Every single time Iruma declares his own ambitions or says something selfish it’s just… chills. It’s always a powerful scene. Whenever Iruma gets truly pissed over something (which has legitimately only happened twice) we all cheer cause we’re so proud of him. I could write a whole essay about this one aspect of the story, but just know that I consider this to be an incredibly compelling narrative, and my favorite part of Mairimashita! Iruma-kun.

In conclusion, I’m posting this on my birthday, so as a present I would like more people to get into this fandom because it deserves a larger fanbase.

[yui-kuromori]

Okay so mafia AU

The Wonderland’s tea party is an organization led by the Hatter. It’s specializes in drug trafficking, blackmail and selling information.

Arisu and Usagi are it’s newest members. They got recruited on accident really and it’s mostly Arisu’s fault. He was on the subway one day and sat beside this older man wearing sunglasses struggling with a piece of paper on his hand. It was hatter, who was trying to figure out the safest routes in and out of a building for an information robbery from a big company. Arisu had kinda peered at the map, gotten excited because *puzzle*, and offered Hatter some help. After Hatter tells him the “rules” Arisu spends the rest of the ride tracing out paths and tragedies, before leaving a baffled Hatter behind.

So Hatter’s like “we need this kid” and sends Niragi and Last Boss to “Invite him for tea”. Unfortunately for them, when they go to corner Arisu, he’s out with Usagi, and Usagi upon being told by Arisu that he think’s they’re being followed, and notices Piercings and Face Tattoos, goes “I think the fuck not”, grabs her best friend and *bolts*.

And run she does, going full parkour ninja, hauling Arisu’s skinny ass around. Niragi and Last Boss try following them, but after a while, she just looses them altogether. They report back to Hatter who just goes: “He has a ninja girlfriend?? We need them” and he’s really excited about it.

He sends in Chishiya and Kuina to actually talk to them this time and after some coaxing, they agree to at least try out. They both need the money.

What they didn’t expect was for them to be immediately adopted into the found family dynamic. Arisu and Kuina are immediately trans buddies, and Aguni is like “Okay, two more children for me and Takeru”, Last Boss takes the position of scary older brother, specially for Usagi, and even Niragi treats them nicely (in his own way).

Feat. Very concerned friends Karube and Chouta who have no idea what’s happening, their college classmates, who are running a rumor mill, Arisu’s awful family that keeps popping up even after he moves in with Usagi and Shibuki, who’s literally just vibing.

Also, this is probably Arisu x Chishiya

ROLECALL

Name: Danma Takeru

Code name: Mad Hatter

Skills: He is the leader and founder of Wonderland’s tea party. What used to be a two person gang grew into an organization because of his visionary attitude and charming personality. His charisma allows for nice deals and sales, while his ruthlessness keeps their family protected. He doesn’t usually go out on mission, but he’s a skilled fighter and a surprisingly smart man. He also has a keen eye and sharp intuition, especially when picking out new members.

Name: Aguni Morizono

Code name: Bandersnatch

Skills: He is the second founder and Hatter’s right hand man. He is the muscle of the operation, the strongest member on the team. He is responsible for dealing with their enemies, carrying out threats, defending their territory and keeping their family safe. He also trains all members on how to use guns, weapons and fight. He took Usagi under his wing, as he not only could see a bit of himself in her, but their fighting styles could be similar.

Name: Chishiya Shuntaro

Code name: Cheshire

Skills: He’s their doctor. He patches up whoever is hurt and occasionally deals with a dead body or two. He’s also responsible for gathering intel. He often goes undercover in big corporations and rival groups to gather some vital secret information that could be sold for a lot of money, or takes those groups down from the inside. He’s the one who took Arisu under his wing, noticing how good he is at reading people’s hearts, he’s been teaching him how to manipulate and lie and now they usually go undercover together.

Name: Kuina Hikari

Code name: Caterpillar or Absolem

Skills: Kuina is a dealer. She accompanies Hatter when he goes to strike a deal not only because of her charisma and people skills, but because she functions as a secret bodyguard. She’s also usually on robberies and stealth missions, where being undercover is not necessary but they still need to get in and out of somewhere unseen to get shit done. To those, she’s usually paired with Chishiya. She’s the one teaching Arisu how to fight, since their styles are the most similar.

Name: Niragi Suguru

Code name: March Hare

Skills: This is their killer ok? Need someone disposed of? Call Niragi. Need someone intimidated? Call Niragi. Some group is trying to start a turf war? Call Aguni who’s gonna take Niragi and Last Boss and they’ll fix it. Niragi’s also responsible for their weapons and sometimes will help with scheming. He’s decievingly protective of his family and shows affection with acts of violence. If you want any piercings he’ll do it for you.

Name: Samura Takatora (last boss)

Code name: Jabberwocky

Skills: His position is the same as Niragi’s. They are usually paired together for missions. While Niragi takes care of the guns, Last Boss takes care of knives and swords. They are usually sent with Ann or Arisu whenever they have to meet people and their looks alone are enough to intimidate any potential threats. He’s been teaching Usagi how to spear fight and is secretly delighted someone else has taken to more traditional weapons. If you ever want a tattoo, he’s the one to ask for.

Name: Ann Rizuna

Code name: White Queen

Skills: She’s the one responsible for most of their drug operation. While Hatter makes the deals, she’s the one crutching numbers, distributing product and sometimes even cooking up drugs herself. She can also fill in for Chishiya as their doctor and Along with him, Arisu and Niragi, she’s the one tracing most of their plans. If any of them were to die, she would be the one responsible for finding out who did it and helping to hunt them down.

Name: Tatta Kodai

Codename: Dormouse or Arganaz

Skills: Tatta is their getaway driver. He can outdrive everyone and anyone. His knowledge in mechanics helps them with their robberies and he’s been known to pull some Dean Winchester level stunts behind the wheel. He also keeps communication between teams clear and smooth. He’s been learning some basics under Ann’s wing and is getting pretty good at, uh, cooking.

Name: Usagi Yuzuha

Code name: White Rabbit

Skills: She’s a fighter and a runner. When she’s not in a position similar to Aguni’s, she’s doing patrols around their territory, spying on rivals and enemies from the top of buildings and helping Tatta to keep all the teams in the know. She’s usually paired with Arisu in the same way Kuina is paired with Chishiya. She’s also the only one that can keep them all sleeping a minimum of four hours a night and eating somewhat healthy food with a decent frequency. Many suspect that if Aguni retires, she’ll be the one to take his place.

Name: Arisu Ryohei

Code name: Alice

Skills: Arisu quickly become a big part of the brains behind most of their operations. He views plans with Hatter, tracing escape routes and planning damage control. He also goes undercover with or without Chishiya a lot, his innocent demeanor making him appear trustworthy. He’s also the one to analyze their oponents and tell the teams exactly where to look at for blackmail. He wrote down the plans that actually took down some big corporations. He’s been learning how to fight from Kuina, and is steadily getting better. He’s been also slowly learning how to hack, it’s just another puzzle for him.

[intothewickedwood]

Once Upon A Time In Wonderland Rewatch: 1x01 Down the Rabbit Hole

So my mum and I love this spin off and rewatch at least once every 2 years. If you haven’t given it a try yet, I can’t recommend it enough! It has complex romance, creative ideas, strong friendships, terrifying villains and a solid plot.  

One thing though is that some of the creatures scare me so much that I have to watch those parts with my eyes closed lol. It’s kinda thrilling though, not knowing when to close your eyes. It’s like riding a rollercoaster. It’s become part of the fun for my mum and I. But that’s just us. You might not find them remotely frightening.

Okay, here we go y’all! I’ll try to keep my thoughts free of spoilers for future episodes.

Alice’s house exterior is so gorgeous.

Holy bananas, how long has she been gone?!

Edwin is a freaking terrible father. Lock the damn doors! He should have someone watching her at all times if she leaves the house. Get a nanny or something! Don’t just let her continue running off to God knows where! She’s just a kid!

And the White Rabbit should probably know better than to lead her to that extremely dangerous place.  

Will!  

Emma nearly ran him over lol.

Ashley! Looks like she’s wearing a Granny’s apron. I guess she was a waitress there.

And Leroy! Cool!

So, I believe this is set some point around season 2. I guess it’s the same day the curse was broken, unless someone else was driving Emma’s car.

Holy cow! How’s granny gonna get that giant hole out the floor??

“I’m late! I’m late!”

That rabbit’s got pink eyes. Cool. I had a dwarf hamster with red eyes. Her name was Tango and her sister, Mango, tried to eat her so we had to separate them. Loved them both.

Alice!

I know how most peeps feel about the cgi in this show but it really doesn’t bother me. Sure it would be cooler if it looked more realistic but it’s the compelling story, dynamics and characters that capture me and allow me to easily look beyond that and suspend my disbelief.

This Lydgate guy istg! I wonder if this is before or after Jekyll killed his daughter, Mary. Oh, his name is Arthur and apparently it’s after she died. Maybe that’s why he’s so bitter.

Cyrus! So Charming.

Couldn’t he just walk out that bottle and drink that ‘drink me’ bottle to turn to his original size? Maybe there’s a magic barrier preventing him from leaving like the one keeping Alice Jones in her tower. And he’s be brought right back to it id someone rubbed it.

Poor Rabbit. I love this Alice as well but that’s a big difference between her and Alice Jones. This one’s more selfish but we get to see her character develop so that she becomes less so and I think that’s really cool!

She’s his master? But she didn’t rub the bottle, did she?

Alice: “I don’t wish for anything!” I wonder if she says that because she doesn’t want to accidentally wish for something. Could she even make a wish in the Victorian Realm?

The Land Without Magic doesn’t seem to be the only place without magic. The Victorian England Realm seems not to have any either. Baelfire could have easily ended up in that land but we know he doesn’t.

Oh snap! I somehow missed when he said she and Cyrus apparently travelled from world to world fighting pirates and swimming with mermaids. I guess all Alice’s like to travel. I wonder what realms she and Cyrus went to. Neverland to swim with mermaids and fight pirates?

She totally should have written a book.

Oh, I guess he did walk out of his bottle and drink the ‘drink me’ potion.

Ah gosh, it must be so painful for Alice to say all the things she went through and the love she felt for Cyrus weren’t real.

Betrayed by the sleep talking. My mum sleep talks and my dad sleepwalks. Please let me escape those genetics!

Anastasia!

The fight scenes are so cool!

Oh no!

She doesn’t write her surname, dammit. I want to know her surname so I can more easily distinguish the two Alices in my tags!  

Oh snap! He was gonna perform a lobotomy on her. Do they still do that? In Smallville Clark was awake when they tried to do it on him, I wonder if that’s actually a thing because it seems like it would be terrifying and hurt like hell. Oh, it’s seen as inhumane nowadays. Apparently they could be done while awake.

Maybe she wasn’t trying to lie to them. She seems to have convinced herself that Will wasn’t/isn’t real, so maybe she convinced herself everything else wasn’t real either.

“You know as well as I do, Alice, nothing’s impossible in Wonderland.” And that’s why it’s so awesome!

Girl can fight! Love this scene where she fights the asylum staff!  

I mean, I’m a pacifist in real life but I do love a good fictional fight scene.  

Dr. Lydgate’s face when he sees the White Rabbit talk.

Bouncy marshmallow!  

The mallow marsh is such a good, creative idea.  

I haven’t had marshmallows since I became a vegetarian 16 years ago. I’ve completely forgotten what they taste like and I am sad I’ll never get to know what’s so good about s’mores.

Damn. Would have loved it if Jefferson was in this show.

The dragonflies are dragons. Love it!

I love the Tulgey Woods scenes in the animated movie. So dark and mysterious.

Will: “I’m gonna die like a bloody s’more.” Lol. I love him.

She’s making s’mores! This show is off the rails and I love it.

Lol. He looks like a snowman.

I’m surprised they managed to get all of that off them. Maybe they ate it off.  

Oh wait, the Rabbit was lying?

The Tulgey Woods!  

This Jafar has to be the most terrifying villain in all of Ouat. Perhaps because he seems incapable of love.

Were Jafar and the Red Queen a thing? I can never tell.  

Jafar flying on the carpet like it’s a surfboard. Whoa, like, ride the waves, dude!

It must be more difficult to climb a tree with just socks on.

The cheshire cat! I’ve always loved the Cheshire cat. Such a mysterious character. I have to say, my favourite version might just be lesbian Cheshire Cat/Caterpillar from the musical, Alice by heart. It’s so good and she’s so gay. I highly recommend.

I love the way he speaks in riddles.

He straight up tried to eat her! And it seemed they used to he friends!

Will to the rescue! No one hurts his little sis!

I just freaking love the Tulgey Woods.

I wish Jefferson would just appear at his house. He made so many hats trying to get back to his daughter. Poor guy.

I wonder how he came upon his original hat and why it had magic it seems he couldn’t replicate.

She found Cyrus’ necklace!

Bless Will, he’s not leaving without her.

[blvejeanbaby]

The Farmhouse (m)

Pairing: Wooyoung x reader, San x reader, Yeosang x reader + multiple Ateez members x OC characters + boy x boy action Word count: 14.9k Warning: sex (though mostly foreplay), threesome, mentions of sex, alcohol use, some Ateez members are gay

disclaimer: I am not trying to assume anyone’s sexuality with this story, that was not what this was meant for! This is all a work of fiction and what I write in this story doesn’t necessarily reflect my thoughts in real life.

A/N: I had originally planned for this story to end up very, very differently but I like to write wherever my mind goes. That’s why I had originally planned to split this up into four parts, with a different ending in my mind. You’ll find out part of what that different ending was in the extra scene at the end n.n

Day 1 On a trip, the last mile is always the longest - it’s not so much the truth as the truth of a feeling. Yunho made sure the last mile wouldn’t come for a while. Even though he had proclaimed himself to be an excellent driver, perfectly capable of following up instructions while driving safely, he hadn’t been too successful in making that statement come true. With Jongho screaming different directions at him, increasingly getting more frustrated with Yunho’s inability to follow these, Yechan from the back attempting to give directions without really knowing where all of you were, you were more so focused on what was outside of the car. Over the course of your journey to the countryside, the landscape had gradually changed; from the tall buildings of the busy city, you got closer and closer to the national park, where you would be staying nearby.                “This must be it!” Daemi said excitedly. She had been quiet while the others had been arguing, but when you looked out of the front window, you noticed she was right. The building, a large two-storey farmhouse, concealing an even bigger backyard, with a vineyard next to it, matched the AirBnB advertisement perfectly.                “Oh, that’s Seonghwa’s car,” Yunho said, unable to keep the relief out of his voice. He steered the car onto the driveway and parked it right next to Seonghwa’s.                When you got out of the car, you were instantly greeted by a voice from higher up: “Hey, look up!” You shielded your eyes from the sun as you looked up to find a half-naked Wooyoung hanging out of an open window. “You’re the last ones to arrive.”                “It’s because Yunho can’t drive,” Jongho said, at the same time Daemi said: “It’s because Jongho doesn’t know how to read a map.”                “Well, you’d better come up and get yourselves a room,” Wooyoung said. “The others have already started drinking and none of the groceries have been done yet.”                To that, everyone nearly fell over each other to collect their bags from the trunk of the car. The house had enough rooms to accommodate 16 people, but because of some being less comfortable sleeping in rooms with certain others, everyone had more or less divided up the rooms beforehand, and mattresses were dragged around to make sure everyone had a bed to sleep in at night. Or during the day, considering the objective of this trip was not to have a wholesome trip to escape from your usual busy lives in the city. Of course it was that too, but there was also the idea that you would just get away to party and get drunk, the way you couldn’t so easily in the city, where there was always some authority to monitor you.                 You shared a room with Daemi and Yechan, your best girl friends. To accommodate Yechan, you got an extra mattress from the room opposite yours, which was one with an in-room shower. “…so that’s our bathroom,” Yechan concluded as she flopped down onto her unmade mattress and closed her eyes. “I’m going to take a nap.”                “A nap? We have to make our beds first. And the groceries still need to be done,” Daemi said.                “Why didn’t anybody else go while we were gone?” you sighed.                “Well, if Wooyoung’s right and they already started drinking…” Daemi shrugged. “Maybe we should do the groceries. Before everyone gets too drunk.”                When you got downstairs, you saw that Daemi had been right; a lot of people were already quite drunk. Seonghwa was one of them, pressing his car keys into your hands, despite you not having a drivers’ license. “Take them,” he said. “Take them. Take more beer with you too. The good ones.”                “Hwa, I don’t drink beer-“ you started, but Seonghwa kept rambling about the beer you needed to get.                “I’ll come with you,” San said, jumping up from his seat next to Alice and pushing Seonghwa into it. “I know which brand of beer he likes.” He smiled at you and you smiled back thankfully. You were glad to find that it wasn’t just going to be you and San doing the groceries – as he had been drinking and you didn’t have your license, there was no one who could even legally drive the car off the property if you had wanted to. You were glad to find it wasn’t just going to be the two of you. That would’ve probably made for some awkward moments between you. You had been alone with just San before, and it had been normal, until it wasn’t anymore. Something snuck into your relationship that could only be described as attraction. Perhaps it was just plain physical attraction, as your heart always beat slightly quicker when you saw him, or perhaps it ran deeper, but what you did know was that your friendship was good and you didn’t want to ruin it with a crush.                The dynamic in the friend group had always been amazing. The traditional idea about boys and girls not being able to be friends without romantic feelings involved, was completely destroyed by you guys’ friendships. Only Seonghwa and Sooyoung were officially dating, following a set-up Hongjoong had cooked up by himself. Sooyoung had never been part of the friend group before, and the same went for Soojin, her best friend. The friend group dynamics had actually improved upon Sooyoung and Soojin’s introductions to the group nearly two years ago.                It was for that reason you didn’t feel uncomfortable while in the car with only boys: Yunho drove again, Jongho navigating once more. You were squished in between Hongjoong and San in the backseat of Yunho’s car, which was roomier than Seonghwa’s, with the latter’s car keys pressing into your leg through your jeans. While Jongho and Yunho already started arguing about which way to go and which supermarket to choose, you turned to Hongjoong as he talked about the plans for the next couple of days: “…sauna, so maybe we can hop in there tonight. And tomorrow Anna and I want to do a barbecue by the lakeside. It’s not that far a drive but if we want to take beer there, we can walk too.”                “Of course we’ll want to take beer,” San said. “Maybe even wine and stuff. Hey, Y/N, we have your favourite drink too. It’s cheaper in cities than in the countryside, we figured out.”                “My favourite drink?” you turned to him.                “That soju-yogurt cocktail you like so much. Wooyoung and Yeosang made it for you.”                You felt your heart swell at San remembering you liking soju-yogurt cocktails. It had been a while since you told him about loving it the first time you tried it and it becoming your signature drink when going out. You weren’t big on alcohol the way other people could be, but sometimes you found yourself casually wanting to make your own soju-yogurt cocktail at home. “I hope there’s still left when we get back.”                Once at the grocery store – which was tucked away behind a scary-looking church that, according to Yunho’s limited amount of information about the surrounding area, once belonged to a cult – Hongjoong was in charge of listing off the grocery list and checking the boxes corresponding with what the others put into the cart. You were staying close to San’s side, as you always did when he was around. Yes, you found him physically attractive, which made you want to look at him all the time, but there was also something absolutely magnetic about his personality that made you want to be talking to him always. And it seemed like San was really into your conversation as you wandered off from Hongjoong and Jongho to find a certain brand of pasta sauce. Despite the simplicity of the topics you were talking about, which ranged from Yunho not being able to drive and Yechan karate chopping you in the head when she saw a mosquito flying past that she wanted to kill, you felt a little nervous around San. Once you had told Daemi about it, hoping she would come with valuable advice, but instead she had laughed at you and just declared you were crushing on San, hard. And perhaps she was right.                When you got back to the farmhouse, needless to say, the soju-yogurt cocktail was gone. Feeling robbed of the one thing you were looking forward to about returning, you opted to drink water instead. You’d start drinking alcohol after dinner, you told yourself, so you wouldn’t get sick. Finally, when it was clear there were little to no sober people you could strike up conversation with, you excused yourself to go upstairs and shower.                The summer heat made everything hot and sticky, including your body. You grabbed a towel and some clean clothes as well as your toiletry bag before going to the single room with the shower. The room was small and simple, with a window overlooking the backyard and the mountains in the distance. You cracked the window open, quickly glancing down to see the back patio, only accessible through the kitchen. As you put on the shower, you enjoyed the smell of freshly cut grass and summer drafting in through the window, as well as the sound of the water cascading on your body mixing with the sounds of a chirping bird outside and the sounds of cows in the distance. Until your attention was caught by a sudden yelp: “Wooyoung!”                Your eyes shot wide open when you recognized that voice. Rose. Along with Alice and Anna, they were in your friend group because Daemi liked them a lot. Your personality didn’t match well with Rose and although you didn’t hate each other or anything, you weren’t very fond of Rose and you were sure the sentiment was shared by her. As far as you knew, Wooyoung, however, thought she was amazing.                “Don’t tell me you don’t like it,” Wooyoung’s voice sounded, loud, as if he was right there in the room with you. It immediately gave you goose bumps.                “Hm, I like it,” Rose’s voice came again. You could just about imagine her shaking her blonde hair out of her face, over her shoulder… You had always thought she looked closest to an angel as was humanly possible. Perhaps your dislike of her had something to do with how you were jealous of her always getting the guys she wanted, how she managed to get every single boy to ever lay eyes on her to fall in love with her and how she could effortlessly keep and make friends… “You like this?”                “Hm, Rose…” That was a groan. A groan from Wooyoung. You had never heard something so utterly sexual. You shivered. Saying you were feeling increasingly uncomfortable was nearly an understatement. They continued to make sounds that made you want to throw up in your mouth. Had they been drinking this much already? Or were they just that into each other that it didn’t bother them it was broad daylight outside? Did they not hear your shower running too? Or were they not aware how perfectly audible they were? You felt like you weren’t supposed to be naked while you could hear them so clearly; it felt weird.                You quickly turned off the shower and wrapped your towel around yourself. Even though you had taken your clothes and toiletry bag into the single room, you didn’t want to hear a single sound anymore, so you made your way back to your room where you took your time getting ready, trying to shake off the nasty feeling Wooyoung and Rose’s acts had left behind.                While putting on clothes and jewellery and smearing light makeup on your face, you felt the urge to dress the best you could, despite the fact you were just going to be cooking and eating and drinking with your group of best friends. There was something inside of you screaming that you wanted to prove to everyone that you, too, were worthy of getting fingered and giving handjobs on the patio as well – there was no other explanation for what they had been doing and no need to lie to yourself about it. More importantly, you felt the need to prove to specifically Wooyoung you could handle whatever he would give you on that patio. More so than Rose. But that was ridiculous. You wouldn’t really want Wooyoung to touch you like that.                As you finished the perfect winged eyeliner, you decided that was enough makeup. You made your way downstairs, collecting Anna, Daemi and Hongjoong for dinner. “Let’s get going,” you said.                “Seems like you already got going,” Daemi chuckled, following you closely into the kitchen. “Who is that outfit for?”                “For you, of course.” You sent her a wink.                “San is one lucky boy,” Daemi said quietly, so no one else could hear, before getting to work on cutting up onions. If only she knew, you thought to yourself, taking it upon yourself to cut up the potatoes.                It took a surprisingly long time to cook for 16 people, despite the extra hands pitching in to slice up vegetables and do the washing up. You realized how much you’d been underappreciating the restaurant people who churn out dishes at an insane speed, compared to how you’re cooking a relatively simple dish with little ingredients while needing all the help you can get.                “Ah,” you hear a voice, “can I taste?” Before getting confirmation, the spoon is already in the pasta sauce and before you can scold him, the spoon is already in his mouth. “Hm, needs a little more spice, I think.”                “Yeah? Well, you think wrong.”                “What? You haven’t even tasted yet,” Wooyoung said, putting the spoon back on the counter. There’s a smirk on his face that your hands are itching to wipe off with a slap, and a blush on his cheeks that you know is not the effect of the hot weather.                “The recipe doesn’t call for extra spices, thank you very much.”                “What’s got you all upset?”                “I’m not upset,” you bite back, proving the opposite.                “Ah, it must be the period,” Wooyoung said, with an air of superiority.                “Fuck you, Wooyoung.” You threw your own wooden spoon down into the pasta mixture, splattering both yourself and Wooyoung with the red sauce, before storming out onto the patio – only to find Rose standing, a gleeful smile on her face and a cigarette between her lips.                She looked up instantly. “You look a little upset.” Her smile faded away as she stuck out her hand to you. “Need a drag?”                You didn’t even bother responding, instead dealing with the embarrassment of having to go back through the kitchen to escape. When dinner is served, you can’t even muster up the faintest of smiles or feign happiness. At least what got you so upset wasn’t your period. And quite frankly, you were even angrier that Wooyoung thought it was okay to make such a joke, whilst normally being so attuned to girls’ feelings, especially yours.                You hated the pasta, but you ate it anyway. You glanced over to where Wooyoung was seated, chatting excitedly to Seonghwa and Mingi, the left-overs of the splattered sauce staining his white shirt. You didn’t even feel remotely guilty.                You were glad when dinner was finished, so you could commit yourself to working on another batch of soju-yogurt cocktail, this time without Wooyoung, since he was too busy in the sauna. Probably flirting with Rose, you thought to yourself as you grumpily got to work on the ingredients. San and Yeosang were right there with you; Yeosang because he knew how to make it and San because he evidently wanted to cheer you up. He kept saying cheesy jokes and poking your cheeks and then his own ‘to see if he could give you his dimples’. Every time you gave him an annoyed look, his smile made your heart flutter and your mouth shut.                As the night progressed, you were aware you were drinking a bit too much of the mixture. Maybe a bit too much of any liquor, really, because by the time the clock struck 11 o’clock, you were already very close to quitting alcohol for the night, while Soojin was only on her second drink of the evening.                “I’m going to get some air,” you said to no one in particular, before getting up and stepping outside, sliding the door closed behind you. Away from the stifling heat inside, the cool mountain air managed to cool you down enough to not sway on your feet as you threw your head back to look at the night sky. It was dotted with stars, only visible because you were so far away from cities and their light pollution. You were in the middle of deep contemplations about the universe, when you heard a noise. Oh no, not again, you thought to yourself, your head snapping down to look over the balustrade, down at the swimming pool.                On the edge of it you could see two figures, barely visible in the darkness. But from what little light the porchlight shone on them, you could make out that it’s San – it’s unmistakably him. But who is with him? It takes a little more squinting and a moan before you make yourself rip away from the sight, stomping back into the house. You don’t even tell anyone that you’re heading up to bed.                Only when you’re finally underneath the covers, you allow yourself to think about what you saw. Your long-time crush, Choi San, shoving his tongue down the throat of Kim Alice, someone you had always figured was rather harmless a person to have around. She didn’t speak much in big groups – kind of like you – but when she did, she was funny. She was a joy to be around, seemed to have a life devoid of problems, she was conventionally attractive… With a sigh you turned on your side, closing your eyes, willing yourself to fall asleep. But all you saw with eyes closed was San and Alice, kissing as if their lives depended on it.

Day 2 After you and Anna had put away the dirty plates and cutlery into the dishwasher and turned it on, everyone was about ready to leave for the lake. The morning had been off to a slow start but with the sun beaming down on everyone, scorching hot, they were all suddenly up and running. Their sudden energy was not the reason you left the cars at the house and instead walked through the significantly cooler forest to get to the lake. After all, according to Hongjoong, it’s not a far walk. The reason was solely to be able to drink.                Jongho and Yeosang carried the cool box filled to the brim with drinks and meat, which was undoubtedly the heaviest thing to carry, while Daemi and Alice offered to carry the blankets to sit on. Everyone else was assigned their own towels and clothes to carry. You stayed at the back of the group with Mingi, who was positively hungover from the night before and had to stop every few minutes or so to clutch at his stomach and complain about how nauseous he felt. Needless to say, the two of you arrived only when Seonghwa had already started to set up ‘camp’, as he called it, and the others were already half-undressed and in the water.                Soojin was in the midst of stripping off her sundress, convincing Alice to do the same. Both were trying to get Yunho to abandon his duties of helping Seonghwa lay down the blankets, for him to come swimming with them. Jongho and Yeosang, who had been in the front with Hongjoong, setting the pace and navigating, had already put the cool box down, Jongho in the process of taking off his pants.                “Y/N,” Sooyoung appeared in front of you suddenly. “Do you want to come with us to the village? It’s just a ten minute walk, Hongjoong said, and it’s apparently really pretty. Maybe you can take some photos.” She gestured toward your film camera, a gift from Wooyoung for your last birthday. You had taken it with you to the lake, thinking you could get a lot of use out of it to capture the memories of the trip.                “Sure, seems like fun,” you said. “Who’s coming?” You felt torn as Sooyoung told you it was just going to be you, Seonghwa, Hongjoong and Yeosang. On the one hand you were glad that San and Wooyoung were staying behind, as you weren’t sure you could handle having to deal with them for too long. On the other hand, you were a little torn on leaving them behind with Alice and Rose. You had to remind yourself they were nothing to you but your friends as you shrugged your heavy backpack off and gave Mingi a pat on the head before he threw himself down on the blankets. Even though he was groaning and being apologetic, no one believed he found it really terrible he could not come with.                Hongjoong and Seonghwa were completely attached to Sooyoung, which caused you to stay with Yeosang. He was typically a very observant but quiet person; he noticed a lot but never said a thing about it. Imagine your surprise when he asked: “So, you were not having a great time last night?”                “Was it that obvious?” you groaned.                “Wooyoung told me you cursed at him. You know, he was joking about the period thing.”                “I know. Doesn’t make it okay.”                Yeosang turned semi-serious. “He hates it when you two fight.”                “Has he told you that as well?” You were starting to lose your temper, which you did not want. After all, Yeosang had nothing to say about what Wooyoung was feeling, saying or doing.                “No,” Yeosang said. “I just know. You’re his best friend, even though it might not seem like it sometimes. What were you mad about anyway?”                You gnawed at your lip. The fact was, you weren’t entirely sure what you were particularly mad about. That he was fingering Rose on the patio while everyone could notice? That he was fingering Rose on the patio of all places? That he was fingering Rose to begin with? That it was Rose, of all people? And what reason did you have anyway to care about what Wooyoung was doing romantically or sexually? You were only friends.                But if there was someone you could talk to this about, it would surely be Yeosang, right? Apart from you, he had known Wooyoung the longest. Before it was you and Yechan and Daemi, it had been you and Wooyoung and Yeosang. And even before that, it had been Wooyoung and Yeosang. That was before San had come in and essentially stolen Wooyoung away. It was before a lot of things.                You sighed. “Well, when I was showering last night? Before dinner?” You mentally cringed at what you were about to say: “I heard some noises outside. I’m pretty sure – No, I’m 100 percent confident that it was Wooyoung and Rose going at it. If you know what I mean.”                “I can guess,” Yeosang said. “And that bothered you, why?”                “I never said it bothered me,” you said. Too defensive. “I don’t like Rose,” you admitted, knowing damn well it was not just that. From the look on Yeosang’s face, you could see he was thinking the same thing. And there was something else too... You were grateful and relieved when he left it at that, though. Instead, Hongjoong pointed you to a small café.                Although it might be small, it was not characterless. There were few people inside that afternoon, leaving a lot of different cakes and pies for you and your friends to try out. As you waited for your order, you glanced around the café. It was covered in pink flowers, even the walls were painted pink. You saw what Hongjoong liked about it – it had a certain charm. One that apparently made Sooyoung feel like she had to excessively comment on everything in a squealy voice. You liked her, but her excitement was giving you headaches. Honestly, you were still feeling kind of miserable and sorry for yourself.                Yeosang cheered you up by sharing the remainder of his chocolate-cherry cake with you when you had finished your own, knowing the best remedy for what you were feeling was food. While on your way back to the lakeside, Yeosang kept to your side, purposefully bringing up things you had done together where Wooyoung hadn’t been involved. The happy memories you had shared with Yeosang were plenty enough to make you smile again and by the time you arrived back to camp, you were genuinely in a good mood.                “Y/N!” Yechan exclaimed as she saw you. “Come jump in! The water’s so good.”                “Gotta set up the barbecue,” you said. “Sorry!” All of that was a lie. After all, you didn’t really have to set up the barbecue and there was Hongjoong already getting started on it. In all honesty, you just didn’t feel like joining the happy couples in the water. As soon as Seonghwa and Sooyoung had raced each other to the campsite, they had discarded their clothes and jumped in the water, engaging in a splash war against Jongho and Soojin. Alice was seated on San’s shoulders, battling Rose, who was on Wooyoung’s shoulders. You didn’t want anything to do with them.                Instead you chose a soft spot on the blankets next to Mingi, who was sound asleep, Rose’s straw sunhat shading his eyes from the sun, relentlessly beating down. Yunho and Daemi were on his other side, playing a game of cards that Yeosang immediately joined, claiming it as his favourite game, although he then proceeded to ask what the rules were.                You watched Hongjoong struggle with the barbecue for a while until you decided it was time to help him out of his misery. As he noticed you helping him, his face immediately brightened up. “What did you think? Of the café?”                “It was great, Joongie,” you said, giving him your brightest smile. You actually meant it. “Thanks for taking us.”                “Oh, don’t worry about it,” he said. “I just wanted you to have some fun.”                With a sigh you leaned back to sit. “Is everyone just a mind reader now?”                “No, I just overheard your conversation with Yeo on the way to town. Sorry about that. If you allow me to give you some advice – I think you should just be having fun and not letting something like that bother you. And anyway, I always thought you had a crush on San, not Wooyoung.”                You looked at him, shocked. “What?”                “You heard what I said. Hand me the coals, please.”                You did as he said. “What do you mean I have a crush on San?”                Joong shrugged. “It’s pretty clear from the way you behave around him that you do. Or maybe did?” He winked at you playfully. “I mean, why else would you be angry at Wooyoung for finally approaching Rose? You know he’s been talking about her for years now.”                You didn’t know. Perhaps your friendship with Wooyoung was not as unconditional and carefree and honest as you always thought it had been. “Joongie, you’re not making me feel any better right now,” you said, your mind wandering off to his previous comment about you crushing on San. It was true that you liked him, there was nearly no denying it. But if Hongjoong knew, then did the others as well?                “I don’t know, Y/N. I think you should just let loose and have some fun.”                When the fire beneath the barbecue was finally going and Daemi took your place at it to grill chicken satay, you took her place at the card game. When the first batch of food was served, you woke Mingi to call for the others, still in the water. They were quick to join at the mention of food.                Everyone gathered in a circle, smiling and laughing, but all you could do was stab at your food as you looked around the group, wondering who out of all of them knew of your crush on San, who, by the way, looked absolutely stunning with the water droplets on his naked chest glimmering in the afternoon sunlight, like little diamonds. You hated it.                “Say ‘ah’.” You turned to look at Wooyoung, an apologetic smile on his face.                “Ah?”                “No, like this.” He widened his mouth and stuck out his tongue a little, dragging out the ‘ah’ longer. You rolled your eyes but followed his example, which was followed by Wooyoung putting a piece of meat on your tongue. You chewed on it, watching him as he sat down next to you. “Here. Have some more.”                “My favourite,” you said, grabbing the plate from him. “Is this your version of a white flag?”                “Yes,” Wooyoung said. “I’m sorry about the joke I made. Yeosang might have mentioned you really didn’t like it and I guess it’s a pretty assholey thing to say anyway. I don’t want to fight with you.”                “I guess I have to apologize as well,” you said. “I’m not in the best mood and I’m taking it out on you. Among others.” You glanced over at San before focusing back on Woo. “I don’t want to fight with you either.”                “Good.” Wooyoung stuck out his pinkie finger to you, as if you were kindergartners still. “Promise me that we won’t fight during this trip again.”                “Just this trip?” you joked, curling your own pinkie around his. You’re just about to say something else, when a girl plops down on Wooyoung’s other side. You would recognize that blonde hair anywhere.                “Got you pork belly, like you asked.” Rose handed a new plate to Wooyoung. “Hi, Y/N. Why didn’t you go swimming?”                “I might swim after dinner,” you said, surprised she even talked to you. You were not so surprised to find out this was the only thing she was going to say to you, instead looking at Wooyoung, totally transfixed by him. You sighed, going back to stabbing at your food. At least there was no fighting with your best friend now.                You’re glad when the drinking begins and you have an excuse to chug down liquor. You even go swimming for a bit, hanging around Yechan and Yeosang the most. It’s not long after evening falls that Soojin calls out for everyone to return to the farmhouse. You’re clinging onto your beer bottle on the way back, walking next to Yeosang, your arm linked through his. After all, he managed to majorly cheer you up and perhaps he could perform that same magic trick again.                Back at the farmhouse, Mingi perked up enough from his massive hangover to call everyone to him for a beer pong match. With a little help of Anna, he set up teams of two to compete against each other. “Y/N and Yeosang, you begin! Against Yechan and Daemi.”                As you took your place next to Yeosang, you realized it was obvious either Mingi or Anna had picked up on the tension in the house. You kind of wanted to convince Yeosang to cheat and purposefully lose the game, but when you saw his fanatism at landing the first ball in Daemi’s cup, you didn’t have the heart to tell him you didn’t want to play. He was just so smiley and happy… You convinced yourself that a) you wanted to win this game just as badly as he did and b) that you’re not absolutely shit at beer pong.                The first opponents were luckily nearly as bad as you are at the game. Although the ball takes awfully long to land in the last cup, you and Yeosang still manage to defeat Yechan and Daemi. While the two of you are not up against anyone yet, you vow to yourself to get even more tipsy. It won’t help with aim but you were sure it would help your mood. It’s a fine line between tipsy and drunk and you were walking it with little care in the world.                Your next opponents were Hongjoong and Jongho, who already proclaimed themselves Kings of Beer Pong. Only to be beat by you and Yeosang; turns out Hongjoong just had extreme luck playing against Seonghwa and Sooyoung, for his aim is honestly worse than yours, and Jongho can’t keep up against Yeosang, who deserves to officially be crowned King of Beer Pong.                Yeosang’s so surprisingly good at the game that you’re not surprised when you win the finale round against Wooyoung and San. Overcome with emotions that you can’t properly explain and do not want to face and will probably never address ever again, you reached for Yeosang’s face, cupping it in your hands and pressing your lips against his. You felt a shock of surprise run through his body, but his hands effortlessly found your hips to steady you and kiss back.                Despite the absence of butterflies or fireworks or any of the sorts, you become aware of how unaware you are of the sounds around you two. The only sound that’s coming through is Yeosang’s small moans and the sounds kisses tend to make. It doesn’t help that you’re both using an obscene amount of tongue, but you might be drunk and you don’t care – especially not that anyone or everyone is watching and cheering.                When you pull away, you smile at Yeosang, who looks a little stunned but not unhappy about your actions. “Congratulations, King of Beer Pong,” you tell him.                “Thanks, Queen.” He even has the liberty of squeezing your ass, earning him a yelp that broadens his smile. Take that, Woosan, you think to yourself. “Let’s get you another drink.” With his arm still around you, Yeosang guides you to the kitchen, away from prying eyes, both unaware that Mingi was ready to crown you both winners and offer you a prize. You couldn’t care less about what the prize was.                The kitchen is completely empty except for a collection of trash and dirty plates and glasses. After clearing a space on the countertop, Yeosang picked you up with a surprising amount of strength and sat you down on it, then going to fix you a glass of water. “There you go.”                “Water?” you complain. “Yeo-“                “No, you need to sober up a little,” he spoke in a tone of amusement. “I think you’re an amazing kisser and I really enjoyed that, but I also know that kiss wasn’t meant for me.”                “Oh, are you going to tell me who the kiss was meant for then? Because, last I checked, my lips were on yours and not on anyone else’s. I think that was meant for you, Yeosang.”                “Maybe,” he said, “but then with the intent of hurting someone else. Or whatever you thought you were doing back there. You’re not attracted to me.”                “Says who?” you pull Yeosang closer to you by his shirt collar, capturing him between your legs. He looks profoundly comfortable in between them, but you know what he means when he says: “I do. You do, with your body language.”                You rolled your eyes at him, setting the glass of water down next to you. “I’m not going to endure another talk about how in love I am with San and how everyone can tell.”                “I wasn’t going to say you’re in love with San.”                “Okay, Wooyoung then. Only because I was jealous he fingered Rose on the patio. The patio! That one over there!” You pointed at it for emphasis. “All of those feelings are not yours to comment on, Yeosang. Hongjoong.” You narrowed your eyes at him as he entered the kitchen rather innocently.                “Wh-“ Hongjoong locked eyes with Yeosang and immediately his eyes widened. “I’m out of here right now. Sorry.”                “Drink your water,” Yeosang said, giving you a little pat on the knee before following Hongjoong out of the kitchen. You sighed in frustration, grabbing the glass and bringing it to your lips. It actually tasted pretty nice to be drinking something as pure as water after all of the alcohol you had been consuming. Perhaps Yeosang was right and the kiss hadn’t been meant for him at all, not even a little bit. Perhaps you were just trying to make him jealous. And you weren’t quite sure which him you meant with that.                Perhaps the him that came walking into the kitchen right at that moment, empty bottle of beer in hand. “Oh, have you come to lecture me too?” you said before he could even open his mouth – just one look was enough. “I’m sick of it.”                “Well,” San said, “now that you mention it. Why did you kiss Yeosang?”                “Why wouldn’t I? You have been all over Alice too, haven’t you?”                “You really don’t understand, do you?”                “Understand what?” There was a viciousness to your voice that made San shake his head. “I’m not going to argue with you while you’re still drunk.”                “Yeah? Well-“ But you didn’t get a chance to say anything hurtful to him as he had already left the kitchen. With a sigh you chugged down the water, slid off the countertop and walked to your room. You could faintly hear all the noises in the living room, the partiers, but you were glad you weren’t there with them. This was not the fun trip you had planned for it to be.

Day 3 Even though Anna had planned something to do the day after, everyone was so hungover that no one really felt like going anywhere. You woke up first, quietly stepping over a snoring Yechan and trying not to wake a sleep-talking Daemi as you went to the single room across the floor to have a shower. This time without opening the window, even though you knew it was highly unlikely you would hear Wooyoung and Rose again. You went downstairs, made yourself breakfast, and by the time you had finished, the first people started coming down. The first was Jongho, followed by Soojin and Anna. Soon thereafter, Yunho and Daemi appeared as well, looking different states of dishevelled. There was still dried up spit in the corner of Yunho’s mouth. “Who’s up for a walk?” he excitedly said.                No one felt like going, but you jumped up at the opportunity to be away from the farmhouse for a bit. Accompanying Yunho on his walk was quite peaceful. You never had a really close relationship with him as you did Wooyoung or Yeosang, but you were happy to be around him. It certainly helped that your surroundings were breath-taking, with views you could barely get enough of. It was so vastly different from what you were used to living in the city, that being at the farmhouse felt all the more special. You were reminded that this was partially why you had agreed to come on this trip; to see the beauty of the nature park. Not to get wound up in drama you yourself created by being… Well, was there a word for the way you were feeling? The way you were acting?                It gave you some peace of mind walking with Yunho and realizing that he wasn’t going to break out in a lecture about not kissing Yeosang if you don’t like him, your everlasting crush on San, or whatever was going on with your friendship with Wooyoung. You had no desire to talk about any of that, but as you walked alongside Yunho, basking in the warm morning sunlight, it was the only thing you were thinking about.                By the time you guys circled back to the farmhouse, the others were up already. Most were still yawning and staring at their untouched plates of eggs and bacon with sleep in their eyes, but Yeosang perked up as you came in. He nodded with his head to get you outside on the patio from which you had seen San and Alice kissing the first night. ��              “I think I know what this is about,” you started. “Yeo, I was very drunk. It didn’t mean anything between us, at least not to me. I hope you understand.”                “I-“ Yeosang started, but he was interrupted by someone you really didn’t want to see at this particular moment.                “If you don’t like him, then why would you kiss him?” Wooyoung said, his arms crossing over one another in front of his chest. He stood leaning against the closed sliding door, obviously not understanding that this was a private conversation. Obviously not understanding that this was the last straw.                “Okay, I’m done with this,” you said. “Normally I feel like I can be honest with you both but for the past few days-“ You sighed, not fully comfortable with sharing every thought you had, the things that had drove you to go bed so early in the night to mull over by yourself. “You know, I did it because I had something to prove. And besides, why is everyone so upset over this? San is always face sucking Alice whenever he can and you!” You had subconsciously moved closer to Wooyoung, now pricking his chest with your finger. “You did whatever with Rose out there and you didn’t even know that everything you did, I could perfectly hear. You’re both having so much fun with the girls here, but are so quick to scold me for wanting to do the same with Yeosang?”                “That’s really not the same thing,” Wooyoung started.                “Oh, and what makes it different?”                “You’ve known Yeosang for years!”                “You’ve known Rose for years. San has known Alice for years.”                “It’s all not the same thing.”                “Do I get a say in this?” Yeosang said, finally intercepting. Perhaps he had got quite uncomfortable with seeing Wooyoung and you so close to each other, staring each other down.                You both broke away from each others’ gaze at the same time and spoke simultaneously: “No!”                There was a silence and finally a sigh from Wooyoung. “Come find me when you think you can talk like a grown-up, yeah?” He didn’t even really sound mad, perhaps somewhere between defeated and disappointed. He tugged open the door and slammed it shut behind him. You waited for a second, not daring to look at Yeosang, before you followed Wooyoung inside. Instead of heading up the stairs behind him, you went into the kitchen and out onto the patio.                There was no one out. You hoped for Yeosang that he was inside, since clouds had gathered above and there was a light drizzle coming down now. You let it cool your temper as well as your skin, thinking of the trip. You had looked forward to it for so long but it really wasn’t going as you had planned. Yes, you had joked with Daemi and Yechan that some crazy things would happen, claiming that Mingi would be the first one to throw up because of all of the alcohol (you were right about that) and that someone would accidentally throw someone in the pool while they still had their phones on them (hadn’t happened yet, but the trip wasn’t over). Daemi had bet that she would get into an argument with Yechan, Yechan had bet that she would catch Seonghwa and Sooyoung in a compromising position.                The bet made about yourself had been that you would drunkenly act upon your crush on San. You had known when placing the bets with your friends that there was a very slim chance you would ever dare to approach San in that way and as you stood outside, overlooking the mountain area, you realised you didn’t want San anymore. Not the way you had always wanted him, at least.                You used to think San was relationship material, the only guy you wanted to fulfil the need of having a boyfriend. But he wasn’t. He was perhaps too flirty, perhaps too much a person you could only look at from a distance and admire. He wasn’t boyfriend material. Just a friend.                So what about Yeosang? Was that you drunkenly acting upon your hidden crush for him? Was that kiss because you liked him? Was he even boyfriend material to you? No. The answer was simple and clear, you didn’t even have to think about it. Yeosang was just one of your closest friends. He was sweet, really, and you would be lying if you said you had never thought about how it would have been if you were to date him. You were sure he harboured fond feelings for you as well, but those were probably along the same line as what you felt for him. Nothing romantic. After all, it was Yeosang, and you two had known each other for forever. You’d seen each others’ good and bad sides and you thought you knew what he would be like in a relationship. You’d seen his failed relationships play out in the past. You thought you had that figured out.                So then that kiss… Who were you trying to prove something to? What were you even trying to prove? It was true what you had said, however. You were trying to prove to yourself that... Your mind flicked to the first night, when you had heard Wooyoung and Rose’s escapades. You were bothered about it, in a different way than what you had felt when you caught San and Alice.                You replayed the fight you just had with Wooyoung in your head. What did he care what you were up to? You sat down on the small bench. It was wet now, washed clean by the rain; there was no way you otherwise would have sat down on it, considering what had happened a few days before. You rested your head against the wall of the farmhouse. Closing your eyes, you saw the look in Wooyoung’s eyes. You felt how close you had been standing to him.                A knock on the patio door startled you. When you opened your eyes you saw Yeosang, eyes big and with two mugs on a tray. “Hey, Y/N… Can we talk? I brought hot chocolate.”                “Sure,” you said, patting the spot next to you. Yeosang came outside, handing you the tray as he closed the door behind him. “What did you want to talk about?”                “Well… I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong idea. About anything.” This was clearly something that had been bothering him for a while, longer than everything that has gone on in the farmhouse. “Yesterday when you kissed me… I know why you did it and I know why you’ve been so upset these past couple of days. But I just wanted to clear things up so there’s no misunderstandings between us. And besides, I feel like I have lied to you all these years I’ve known you.” He took a deep breath, his hands wrapping around the mug. You saw he was shaking and his nails were bitten down. Maybe you hadn’t paid enough attention to his feelings, instead only rambling on about yours. “I guess I got a little upset this morning too. I hate seeing you and Wooyoung fight, for many reasons. But also because… because I am in love with Wooyoung.”                “W-what?”                “I like Wooyoung. Y/N… I’m gay.”                “But, Yeo…” You bit your lip, wrapping your own hands around the mug. From everything he could’ve said, this was the least of what you had expected. “Wooyoung is… straight.”                “I know, I know!” Yeosang quickly said. “I’ve always known I don’t have a chance with him. Not romantically. I’m fine being his friend, just his friend. You have to believe me.” He was still shaking however. “I also know that no matter what, I want to see him happy. And knowing what I know, you would realize that the Wooyoung he is around Rose? That’s not him being truly happy.”                You frowned. “What are you trying to say?”                “I mean that he’s more into you than he’s into Rose.”                “What?” You shook your head. “Yeo, that’s not right. Wooyoung doesn’t like me like that. I mean, it’s pretty clear-“                “Why do you think that everyone is so upset with you kissing me?” Yeosang chuckled. “They might’ve thought you were into San, or now that you’re into me. But they know for sure that Wooyoung is into you. He’s told San and I that much before. And I think you like him back.”                “How does everyone know that better than I do myself?”                He shrugged. “I can’t speak for everyone, but… All these years of being in love with Wooyoung means I look at him more or less the same way he looks at you. And when you look at him? I see the same thing. You two are just oblivious to each other.”                You finally took a sip of the hot chocolate, your thoughts aligning in your head to form a question: “So what does this thing with Rose mean? Why did he… finger her?” You realized how pathetic it sounded to ask.                “I don’t know. That’s something you have to ask him yourself.”                You nodded and then you turned to Yeosang again. “Yeo, thanks for telling me. I appreciate knowing that you trust me enough to.” You put your arm around him, pulling him into a side-hug like you used to do when you two were younger. “Who else knows?”                “Only Hongjoong does.”                “Of course,” you said. Joong had come out of the closet as bisexual about two years ago. It made sense Yeosang would want to go to him, knowing Hongjoong wouldn’t judge him. “Nothing changes, Yeo.”                You hope Yeosang feels relieved, finally having that burden off his shoulders. You talk a little about how long he’s known and eventually Yeosang asks to leave the subject alone for now and go swimming instead. You are not one to deny him, so you head upstairs to get changed and meet him at the swimming pool. It’s empty except for Yechan and Seonghwa. Sooyoung and Soojin are on sunbeds on the side, but it’s clear the girls were fast asleep. The drizzle of before has stopped but the clouds have remained, however the temperature is climbing upwards as you’re in the pool.                When you and Yeosang join, it breaks up the conversation between Yechan and Seonghwa, the latter of them suggesting to play a game instead. You team up with Seonghwa to even out the playing field and through multiple rounds of a handball-resembling game, you realise that it was futile because you and Seonghwa were bound to lose the second you agreed to teaming up together.                The sun started going down while you were still hanging by the pool, wrinkled out like a raisin but enjoying the contrast between the cool water of the pool and the stifling heat of the overcast summer weather. You and Yeosang didn’t get out of the pool until Anna came to collect everyone for dinnertime. You’re happy sitting in between Yeosang and Mingi – who had remained in his room for the better part of the day, insanely hungover again and having emptied his stomach multiple times – as they talk over your head about this TV show they figured out they both had been watching.                Having not changed out of your bikini for dinner, you are the first to get back into the water afterwards. It’s still warm outside, although it’s pretty much pitch black except for the porchlight. It’s bound to rain and you guess there will probably be thunder and lightning involved. After a moment, you’re joined in the water with Daemi and Yechan, and then Yunho and Mingi, and then San and Alice. As you float around, trying to avoid getting caught in the middle of Daemi-Mingi against Yechan-Yunho, you glance over at San and Alice. They were laughing at whatever joke they told each other, genuine happiness in their eyes, and you knew it didn’t matter that you thought you had a crush on San. He was obviously very happy with Alice. It didn’t matter.                That feeling was amplified when you noticed Wooyoung, just a small distance behind San and Alice, kicking around a ball with Jongho. You were about to look away when you saw him glance over and shoot you a smile. Despite your fight, you smiled back. Maybe this was the right time to make up. You nodded your head in the direction of the trampoline, farther our into the field behind the farmhouse. It was too dark to see out by the trampoline, even with the porchlight, so no one went there at night. It was the perfect spot.                Wooyoung nodded, kicked the ball back to Jongho and said: “I’ll be right back. Go annoy Hongjoong, he looks bored.”                You both laid down on the trampoline in silence, staring up at the sky. Clouds were chasing each other and there was a low rumble in the distance. Thunder. “I’m sorry about how I reacted,” you said, knowing to speed this up. You had known Wooyoung since you two were little and he was still scared of thunder and lightning. By now he had grown up more and also matured – he had told you he still was a little scared, but at least he saw the beauty in the violence of Mother Nature.                “Me too.”                “I just didn’t want to see Yeosang get hurt.”                You were hit suddenly with the realisation that Wooyoung had no idea about Yeosang’s sexuality, or his crush on him. You wouldn’t tell him, because it was up to Yeosang to tell, and that meant that you couldn’t say that it didn’t matter you had kissed Yeosang, because of obvious reasons. Instead you said: “Yeo and I discussed it earlier today. We’re not mad at each other or anything. And I figured this was the best possible time to be honest with you.”                “About what?”                “About…” you sighed lightly. “About that I might… like you?”                “You like me?” Wooyoung sounded no longer like himself, but a little more choked up, his tone of voice very serious. Was he angry at you for sharing this? For fucking up your friendship? You hadn’t even considered the consequences to your friendship, or what any of this would do to your dynamic between you two and Yeosang.                “I guess?”                “You guess or you know?”                “I don’t know. I think I do. Everyone tells me I do.”                “Well, if you don’t know, then I cannot tell you that I like you too.”                Now it was your turn to feel stunned. “What?” You had been told by Yeosang, of course, but that was different. Now you heard it right from the source, from Wooyoung himself.                “I like you too.”                “But I thought you were more into Rose,” you said. “I mean, you two… out on the patio… I thought you were more into her.”                Wooyoung shrugged, making the whole trampoline wiggle. “She’s pretty. I- Okay, I have shared so much with you before but it feels so weird saying it now.” He let out an awkward laugh before he said: “I just felt horny. You know? And Rose was there and she was horny too and she’s not a sight for sore eyes, so I thought: what’s so bad about this? I didn’t know you were showering right above us, or that you had the window open. Otherwise I would’ve probably taken her somewhere else. Or not done it at all.”                “You were just horny?” you repeated. Wooyoung nodded, the trampoline shaking again. “So no feelings for Rose then?”                “Nope,” he said, letting the p pop. “Nothing serious. Not like the way I feel for you.”                You moved over closer to him, shakily reaching out for his hand. “I’m sorry I didn’t realise it sooner. Then we wouldn’t have had to fight.”                “I should’ve told you the second I knew,” he said, taking your hand in his and squeezing it lightly. “So what made you realise? I knew you liked San-“                You blushed, which fortunately, he could not see. “Can we not talk about San right now? I mean, yes, I had a crush on him, but it was silly. I mean, I liked him when we were still in high school, you know? He was the guy every girl had a crush on and I guess I just jumped on the bandwagon. And I always thought it would be easier to hook up with him because we were already friends, but that just makes it more difficult. And I don’t know him as well as I know you. I just don’t feel what I think you’re supposed to feel when you’re in love – with him. I never noticed the way I feel about you, though, until I compared my feelings for you to what I feel for San or Yeosang.”                “Well, you’d best believe it was torture to see you kissing Yeosang, not knowing what you were truly feeling.”                “Would it be better if I kissed you instead?” And with no further words, you bridged the distance between the two of you, softly kissing his lips. Where your kiss with Yeosang had primarily taken place because you were drunk and trying to make whoever else jealous, the way you had been jealous all throughout the trip, this kiss served an entirely different purpose. It was strange too, kissing Wooyoung, whom you had known for so long and never imagined you would harbour romantic feelings for. But there was a spark, a spark that caught and ignited a flame inside of you. A flame that apparently burned inside of Wooyoung as well, for he pulled you infinitely closer, until you were on his lap.                It was very uncomfortable on that trampoline, and you were glad when a dizzyingly bright flash of lightning followed by deafening thunder caused Wooyoung to yelp. “Let’s go inside,” you said, hopping off the trampoline and pulling Wooyoung with you.                As you walked back, your hand in his, he bent down a little to whisper in your ear: “Come to my room tonight, yeah? Take your film camera.”                And so you did. After everyone had gone to bed, you sneaked out of yours to cross the floor to the room Wooyoung shared with San.

Day 4 The room smelled of boy. And not just any boy. You glanced around in the darkness, the first thing that stuck out to you being Shiber. San had brought his cuddle toy to this trip? You wondered for a second what Alice would think of her having to share the bed and San with Shiber, until you realized that she wasn’t there. You shut the door after yourself, blocking out the light from the hallway to prevent San from waking up, instead going over to Wooyoung. You set your film camera down on the night stand and when you turned to look at Woo, he was already sitting up in the bed.                “There you are,” he said. He sounded surprisingly relieved.                “Did you think I wasn’t going to show up?”                Wooyoung didn’t answer but instead pulled you onto the bed, blindly placing his hands on your cheeks and pulling you in for a kiss. Instantly, it clouded your mind with desire for him. Your head spun as he pulled you on top of him. You gasped as he let himself fall backwards onto the bed, allowing him to slip his tongue inside of your mouth. It was almost obscene – how good of a kisser Wooyoung was, how his tongue softly tapped against yours, how his hands slid down from your face to the hem of your pyjama shorts, slipping his hands under the fabric and onto your ass.                You groaned into his mouth as his hands knead your ass, pulling you closer to him. Wooyoung pulled back only a little bit, but you hated the moment, his voice slightly breathless as he said: “Don’t be too loud. San might wake.”                You glanced over to the other bed and yelped to find San already sitting upright, Shiber wrapped in his arms, just staring at you. “What the fuck!” you exclaimed.                “I’m already awake,” San said.                Wooyoung pushed himself up on his elbows. “Have you just been… listening to us? Watching us? The whole time?”                San shrugged. “It was kind of hot. Maybe next time you’ll allow me to join in.”                You looked at Wooyoung for a second, exchanging a glance. There was an unspoken conversation within that glance, a result of many years of friendship in which you had been a unit, had had an unbreakable bond. And now all of that was transforming into whatever this was, and someone was asking to partake in this same adventure with you? You gulped as you realized what you were seeing in Wooyoung’s eyes. “Fuck,” you muttered. And you nodded.                “San, come here,” Wooyoung said, his voice an octave deeper. San was quick to throw Shiber aside and make his way over to you. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him move this fast, although he was as quick to come to a halt at the side of the bed. You felt your breath hitch as Wooyoung grabbed San’s shirt in his hand and pulled him closer, essentially making San topple over on the bed as he lost his balance. “I think Y/N hasn’t had enough love this trip. If you know what I mean.”                You gulped, not entirely knowing what to say. The boy you were currently into and the boy you had always been harbouring a crush on were on the bed together with you and it was pretty clear what was going to happen now. You felt a familiar wetness, synchronic with San nodding to Wooyoung’s statement. “I think we should give her whatever she wants, don’t you agree?” San nodded again. Wooyoung then turned to you: “Tell us what you want us to do.”                For a moment you were about to ask for what you had always lusted after, which was a filthy, intense make out session with San. But right now, looking at him – his shirt crumpled in the place Wooyoung had pulled him in, his hair messy from having been in bed earlier, his plump lips slightly parted and with a small tent visible through his pyjama pants – you knew what you wanted to see. And still it even surprised you a little when you said: “Kiss each other.”                San’s head shot around to look at Wooyoung, physically below the both of you but in some other way he was dominating you both. “Is that okay?”                Wooyoung leaned up only a little bit to put his hand on the back of San’s head and pull him in, their lips locking. Right off the bat there was tongue involved. You were well aware that you were staring, and well aware that there was no one to catch you staring as San increasingly got more comfortable and seemed more into the kiss. “Slowly,” you instructed. “Slowly.” They listened as if they were puppets, entirely under your control.                The kiss was somehow more heated now that they weren’t hungrily clawing at each other. You thought to yourself how this couldn’t be real life. Just a couple of days ago you had been wanting San as badly as ever, then you had thought him to belong to Alice, and now he was here. Let alone the entire situation with Wooyoung – how just a few hours ago you had still been angry with him for fingering Rose on the patio. But that was something you didn’t want to think about at that moment. “Woo, strip San for me, please.”                Wooyoung listened well – he helped San lift his arms above his head and proceeded to take off his shirt for him, tossing it aside. Next were San’s pants. It took a bit more effort to strip those and then get rid of his boxers too. “San, your turn,” you said. There was no shame visible in Wooyoung, who seemed utterly comfortable with stripping as well. They were still kissing, albeit a little bit more clumsy now San was trying to take Wooyoung’s pyjama’s off. It had never occurred to you that perhaps San wasn’t all that confident and experienced as you had taken him to be. Perhaps he had only been truly intimate with a handful of people. Perhaps this was a first for him – the first time he had a threesome. You couldn’t say you had any experience in this department either.                “Woo-“ you started, but the instructions you were about to give him stuck in your throat as Wooyoung ripped himself free off San and said: “Aren’t you going to get undressed, baby?”                Your mouth almost fell open in an o-shape at the pet name. You had never heard Wooyoung call anyone by a pet name. Let alone be the one to be called one by him. “Sorry.” You felt like you had to say sorry. Why? You weren’t sure. “San?”                San, who visibly wasn’t entirely sure what was going on but was along for the ride regardless, scooted over so he could reach for you. He was less clumsy with you, but you weren’t sure if you had to attribute that to past experiences with girls or to not being engaged in a wild make out session with you. Which quickly changed as your lips smashed together.                Now the three of you were all fully naked, everything that was uncomfortable or awkward about the situation seemed to ebb away. You wrapped your arms around San’s neck, pulling yourself up a little bit so you could rub yourself on him. You couldn’t remember how long it had been since you had started crushing on him, but you had had some fantasies and wet dreams about San before. Admittedly, you’d had them about Wooyoung too. You felt his hands sneak in between San and you and jumped a little from the sudden sensation of Wooyoung’s thumb against your clit. You were sure his other hand was wrapped around San’s shaft – there was no other explanation for the sudden noise that erupted from the boy, your kiss temporaily stopping.                “What do you want me to do, baby?” Wooyoung’s soft voice sounded.                “Hm-“ You didn’t trust yourself to be able to properly tell him what you wanted, so instead you let go of San to kiss Wooyoung instead. San chased after you, attaching his lips to your neck. The confidence he gained made you groan into Wooyoung’s mouth as San nibbled and licked and sucked, sure to leave marks behind. There were noises from San as well, noises that were only explainable by Wooyoung moving his hand on San.                It occurred to you that this was every girls’ dirtiest fantasy and you weren’t taking one second for granted. You let Wooyoung push you back onto the bed, which was in no way able to fit three people in it, but you somehow made it work. You were glad Wooyoung didn’t need any verbal instructions; softly pushing his head down, in the direction of where you needed him most, was enough. He went to work, expertly licking and sucking. It nearly made you fold in on yourself from the sheer pleasure he was giving you, but you were too busy tending to San’s proud erection, oozing precum from Wooyoung’s earlier ministrations.                You wrapped your lips around him, working your mouth in a way that was sure to earn San’s approval – it was audible in his moans and groans, ones you gave back to him from Wooyoung’s actions. San was the first to succumb. The pleasure rendered him nearly unable to speak, but you understood the little taps on your cheek well enough. You didn’t pull away however, allowing San’s cum to fill your mouth. And you swallowed.                San seemed just about spent, but he didn’t leave you hanging. Instead, he went to work on your neck again, his hands coming up to cup your boobs. San didn’t have to do much for Wooyoung had done most of the work on getting you to your high. You came with a high-pitched moan; there was a certain shyness overtaking you at the sound you hadn’t previously thought you could make. You were panting, admiring Wooyoung and your glistening juices on his lips as he came up. There was very little to no talking as you motioned for him to come closer. The sudden urge overcame you – you couldn’t explain what had triggered it. You pushed yourself up just a little bit, in a way that wouldn’t disturb San, as you pulled Wooyoung just a little bit closer, your tongue darting out to lick Wooyoung’s lips, getting a taste of yourself.                “What about you?” you asked tracing your hand down Wooyoung’s chest, down his happy trail, to his cock. “What do you want? Tell me.”                “San-ie,” he said. San looked up from his work on your neck, his eyes slightly hazy. “I want you… to suck me.” That was the first time you saw Wooyoung seem even just a little bit fazed by the situation, instead of looking like he had everything under control. “And Y/N, baby… kiss me.”                You gave San a quick kiss on his lips before coming up onto your knees so you could reach Wooyoung better. There was equal part of kissing and moaning from Wooyoung’s side – he was a lot more vocal than you had expected. The part of Wooyoung that was moaning mirrored the part of you that wanted him inside of you, but tonight was not the night. Instead, tonight was the night Wooyoung grabbed your film camera from his night stand and, in the dark, figured out how to take photos of you and San, coated in Woo’s cum. Yes, tonight was the night Wooyoung coated both you and San in cum – and then went to clean it up himself with San’s T-shirt from the floor.                “Woo,” San complained, but you both heard quite clearly that his heart wasn’t in it.                “Ssh.” Wooyoung pressed a kiss against San’s forehead and then to yours. “Let’s go to sleep.”

The bed really was too small for three people. You had thought it the night before and you were proven right the next morning, when you woke up to a yelp from a distraught San – he had fallen off the bed. He was disgustingly handsome, but your heart didn’t flutter the way it had before. What had remained the same, however, was the heat in your cheeks at the memory of what you got up to the night before, the evidence right there on San’s T-shirt, which he had picked up off the floor with a disgusted expression. “I probably won’t be able to wear this ever again. Damn you, Wooyoung.”                You were surprised to find Wooyoung awake already too, one of his arms folded behind his head. His eyes had been closed before, which lead you to believe he was still asleep, but the smile that played on his lips was unmistakably one of someone who was awake and heard every word of what San had just said.                You watched as San strode across the room and threw his T-shirt in the trash can behind the door. “I’m taking a shower,” he announced, leaving you and Wooyoung in the bed by yourselves as he closed the door behind him.                Wooyoung’s eyes stayed closed, his smile having slightly faded. You pushed yourself up on one elbow and looked at Wooyoung, really looked at him. You had known him for so many years, had gone on so many adventures with him… This was the next big adventure. You reached out, doing something you had always thought of doing but never felt confident enough to. You traced his finely shaped eyebrows, the curve of his eyes… You trailed your finger down his cheeks to rest at the corner of his lips. You were about to carefully trace his lips, full and relaxed, when Wooyoung suddenly snapped his teeth at your finger.                “Woo!” you complained, pouting at him. His eyes were open now, the brown highlighted to several shades of gold in the narrow stroke of sunlight from the window. By the way the sun shone into the room, you could see it was nearing noon. Although in that case, it wasn’t exactly morning anymore, this was by far the best morning you had spent at the farmhouse. “Why did you do that?” You let your finger fall back to his lips and this time he let you trace them, his warm breath hitting your skin. When you let his lips alone, opting to crawl into his embrace instead, you said: “San joined us last night…” Stating the obvious. Great.                “Was it good?” Wooyoung asked, his hand coming up to play with your hair.                “Yeah. I liked it.”                “Me too.” You could hear from his tone of voice – delicious, delicious morning voice – that he was smiling. “I hope San had a good time too. But next time I want you all to myself.”                You felt your heart flutter at his words. There was a next time and that next time would consist of you and Wooyoung exploring each other. You were absolutely certain that this was the best morning at the farmhouse – you felt like the happiest girl on earth. You didn’t know what to say, so instead you just hummed in agreement.                “Would you like me to bring you breakfast?” Wooyoung asked after a while.                “Eggs and sausages,” you said.                “Ooh, making demands now? Actually using your words?” He chuckled and tapped your shoulder, signalling you to get up so he could move. You pushed yourself up and watched as Wooyoung got out of bed. With his back toward you, you saw his muscles stand out as he bend to pick up his shirt off the floor. The room was a mess. “Any preferences for your breakfast beverage, milady?”                You grinned. “The finest tea you serve, milord.”                “Of course.” He bowed before making his way out of the room.                As you were left alone in Wooyoung’s bed you tried to wrap your head around the events of the night before. Coming to the farmhouse you had never expected that this was the way you would end the trip. You hadn’t even suspected anything remotely like this would happen. You got out of bed, dressing yourself in the clothes from the night before, before crossing the room to open up the window.                You had just crawled back into bed, sitting up with your back against the wall, when San came back, his hair wet and a towel hung lowly around his waist. He closed the door behind him and got to getting dressed as you watched him. The silence between the two of you was palpable but nonetheless quite comfortable. You wouldn’t know what to say anyway.                “I didn’t mean to insert myself,” San suddenly spoke up, sitting down on the edge of his bed, clutching Shiber to his chest, “in between you and Woo. I know it was all quite new to you both.”                You shrugged, leaning your head against the wall. “We both wanted it. You didn’t insert yourself in at all. Was it good?” you couldn’t help yourself asking.                San nodded, his cheeks turning pink. “I hadn’t expected it.”                “Believe me, me neither.” You looked at the way San was playing with Shiber’s tail. “It was really new to us,” you then said, surprising the both of you. “I mean, we were friends. And now we’re more.”                “I think everyone saw it coming.”                “I don’t think so,” you said, shaking your head. “You know, I was always crushing on you.”                “You were?” San looked up, stopping his playful antics with Shiber. “I didn’t notice.”                You nodded. “It was a long time crush. But there’s a difference between crushing on someone and loving someone. I realised that because I watched you and Alice.”                There was no response to the mention of Alice. You found you didn’t really care. San resumed playing with Shiber, but his eyes stayed trained on you. “So why Yeosang?”                “Vengeance.” You knew how terrible that sounded but there was no other word for it. “He was… there. I know it’s wrong. But I needed to know why I felt so jealous of Rose.” With a sigh you let yourself fall sideways onto the bed. “Now I do. And now I know why I don’t love you. Not in that way.”                The door opened to reveal Wooyoung carrying a tray, a literal mountain of food on the plate that he carried, a tea pot and three cups next to it. “Breakfast!” He set the tray down on the floor, and despite the mess that was the room, the three of you crowded around the tray to eat the breakfast Wooyoung had prepared.                The idyllic bubble of Woosan’s room had to be broken some time. You regretted stepping foot out of the room the second you did it, but you felt dirty so you wanted to shower, and besides that, you had to pack up the rest of your belongings to return home. You got into the shower, the same one you had been in the first day. The window was cracked open, letting in the sounds of nature and summer. You shut your eyes, enjoying the feeling of the water scorching your body.                Yechan was waiting for you in your bedroom when you got back to pack up. “I know where you went last night. I’m glad I didn’t have to hear it. I know Seonghwa and Sooyoung had a front row seat though.” She smiled. “So, you have to tell me all the details. How was your first threesome?”                “Yechan!” you covered your face with your hands. “I’m not going to talk about this with you.”                “Okay, maybe without details, then,” she said. “At least tell me you had a good time.”                You lowered your hands a little bit to look at her. Your best friend, with you through everything… “It was really good.” You bit your lip at the excitement that erupted from Yechan. Her happiness rubbed off on you, though, and soon enough you were, despite yourself, telling her just a few details. Like San having to throw out his shirt afterwards. You left out the pictures Wooyoung took of you and San. Those were private.                “Are you in a polyamorous relationship now?” she asked, her eyes wide and genuine.                You shook your head. “I don’t think so. I think it’s just me and Woo.”                Yechan nodded. “That’s good too.” She took your hand and softly squeezed, her smile saying more than words ever could.

The next person you had to talk to was Yeosang. You were carrying your bags out to the car when he popped up beside you. “Let’s go on the trampoline,” he said. You nodded, following him across the backyard to the trampoline, overlooking the vineyard. It was better in the day than it was last night.                The little kids in you jumped out by the way you nearly toppled over each other to get onto the trampoline, performing tricks as you jumped. After a bit you let yourself fall down, out of breath. “Yeo, I need to tell you something,” you said and he stopped jumping as well. “I had s-“                “Sex with Wooyoung. I know,” he said.                “You do?” Okay, perhaps you weren’t right to be surprised he knew. If you had to believe Yechan, the three of you hadn’t been very quiet. “I mean- San was there with us too.”                “I know. I heard everything,” Yeosang sat down on the trampoline now too. “The walls are pretty thin, you know.”                “I’m sorry.”                “You’re sorry that I heard?”                You chuckled. “Yes, that too. But also that I did that. Now that I know you like him-“                “It doesn’t matter,” Yeosang said, turning his head to look up at the sky, shielding his eyes from the sun with his hand. “He’s not into guys anyway and I know how much you two like each other. I haven’t been completely blind over the last couple of years, you know? I’ll find someone that likes me like that and that I’ll like back. I’m fine with what happened. Don’t worry about me.”                “If you’re so sure,” you said, looking up at the sky too. “I just feel guilty.”                “Don’t.” Yeosang reached over and grabbed your hand in his, giving it a squeeze. “Just know that Rose also heard and she’s crazy upset with you two.”                You sat up, looking over at him. “Just about how many people have heard every single second of last night?”                “How many people are with us on the trip?” Yeosang started counting on his fingers. “So 13. Except maybe Mingi. He was out cold. That makes 12.”                “Jesus Christ,” you swear. And you do so again when you return to the farmhouse to find Rose already storming out to find you. Apparently someone had told her you and Yeosang were hanging out on the trampoline. There’s a look in her eyes that you’re not sure you ever want to see in anyone’s eyes ever again. It speaks of all-consuming anger. “Rose-“ you start. And that’s also where you end. She didn’t even take the time or effort to talk it out. Her first reaction was violence.                You had always jealously compared Rose’s visuals to that of an angel, but the way she lashed out at you proved she was all but that. “You slut!” she shrieked, her nails finding a hold in your skin. You barely felt the pain as she raked her nails down your face. You had never thought of yourself as a violent person, but you also weren’t the person to back down from someone attacking you like this. Your pent up frustrations were threatening to spill out of you in a violent manner, but before you could do much damage to her, Mingi’s strong arms wrapped around you, picking you up as if you weighed absolutely nothing, carrying you away as Jongho did the same to Rose, who was now clawing at him.                Mingi set you down on the countertop of the downstairs bathroom, checking you for injuries like the worried big brother he always acts like towards you. “You’re bleeding.” He grabbed tissues for you to hold against the wound, as if that would help much. Silly, hungover Mingi.                “She has sharp nails,” you said, wincing as you pressed the tissues against the marks.                Wooyoung came storming in, carrying a white box with a red cross on it. “First aid!” he said, to which Mingi nodded and left. You bet he knew why Rose had got violent with you too. “I didn’t know she was going to do that,” Wooyoung said, opening up the first aid kit.                “It’s fine,” you said. “Did I at least fight her off a little bit?”                He laughed. “God, that that’s the first thing you’re thinking about… Here, you’re bleeding.” He got to work, cleaning up the scratches Rose’s nails left behind on your face and arm. His fingers were soft on your skin, leaving behind a trail of heat. Even though you hadn’t known him to be very skilled with cleaning up wounds and bandaging up injuries, he was doing quite a good job. Better than Mingi would have done, had this been his job to do. “And the way you stood your ground was pretty hot, Y/N.”                You chuckled. “You’re just saying that.” You looked at Wooyoung as he took expert care of you, the tip of his tongue sticking out of his mouth in concentration, a habit you had always loved about him. You realized suddenly how blind you had been all along not to notice him, or his love for you. You had never actively fantasized about Wooyoung in a sexual way, although you had sometimes wondered what it would be like to have a romantic relationship with him. In your mind it had never worked out, whereas a relationship with San would seem the most plausible. He had always been the one boy you thought you would end up with, if it was going to be anyone out of the friend group. Everyone had known each other for varying lengths and with different intensities, something which had never lead you to believe that you and Wooyoung would be a good match.                “What are you looking at?” Wooyoung asked, chuckling, throwing away the stuff he had used to clean and bandage your wound.                “You,” you said, no trace of shyness.                “Like what you see?” Wooyoung wiggled his eyebrows, his classic playfulness erasing what you had felt over the past couple of days, leaving only behind what you had always thought to be simple, platonic feelings for your best friend. But now you knew it was more.                You shrugged. “I think you could do better, but this’ll have to do.” You stuck out your feet, wrapping your legs around him and pulling him closer. “Thanks for stitching me up.”                “I’m sorry about Rose,” he said, his arms coming to rest around your waist. “Take the same car as me back?”                “So you can finger me in the backseat while no one notices?” You chuckled at the surprise on his face. Must be due to your sudden dirty mouth. “No, thanks. I’ll ride with Yunho and Jongho. But maybe we can see each other when we get back? Get lunch, or dinner… Go out on a real date…”                “A real date.” Wooyoung nodded. “Sounds wonderful.”

Alternative scene How the ‘morning after’ would have had gone, had I decided to stick with the shower Woosan x reader threesome I had originally planned to happen after the initial Wooyoung x reader sex scene

The room smells. Of what you’re not entirely sure, but it’s sour and makes your nose crunch up as you slowly open your eyes, only to find Wooyoung next to you. His dark brown hair was curling up at the ends and his mouth was slightly open, his chest bare. You had managed to wrap most of the blankets around yourself, leaving Wooyoung uncovered. Not just his chest was bare. You draped the blankets over him and in the process, noticed you were only wearing a T-shirt. That’s it. Just a T-shirt. When you glance underneath the covers, you see it’s Woo’s, one you got together while he was shopping for his First Date T-Shirt, nearly 4 years ago now. You smiled to yourself at the memory and turned onto your back.                That’s when you realize that it wasn’t just you and Wooyoung in the room. “San!” You pull up the covers again to cover yourself, even though there’s no bit of you left uncovered. He’s casually resting on his bed, eyes trained on you and Wooyoung in the bed.                “Good morning. What a coincidence I catch you here. Morning, Woo.”                “San,” Wooyoung groans out from next to you. He seems utterly unfazed to see you laying next to him. He must know you’re wearing nothing but his T-shirt. You also reckon San must know what has happened between you and Wooyoung. “Aren’t you supposed to complain about your headache?”                “I think throwing up prevented my headache,” San said, pointing at a bucket at his side of the room, standing half under half next to his bed. You guessed that was what the sour smell was all about. “Aren’t you two supposed to be even a little bit ashamed that you two had steamy, hot sex while I was literally in the same room with you?”                “I just seized the opportunity,” Wooyoung said, wrapping his arm around you and pulling you against him. “And you were asleep.”                “Apparently not,” San said. “I was miserable, though. Maybe next time you decide to fuck each other again, you could invite me.”                “Oh, shut up,” you said, hiding your face in Woo’s chest. This is really just way worse than seeing San and Alice kissing on the edge of the swimming pool or Wooyoung fingering Rose while you’re in the shower. This is humiliation of a different kind.                “Why were you actually listening to us?” Wooyoung said.                San shrugged. “Like I said, I was miserable. Couldn’t sleep, especially not with those sounds. Disgusting. What would Rose say?” That remark landed him with Wooyoung’s pillow in his face. “Okay, yes, that was slightly mean. Sorry. Will it make you feel better if I say it was kind of hot though? Like, I don’t know what you did that made Y/N go like-“ He made a noise that landed him with your pillow in his face. “Okay, yes, shouldn’t have said that. But! Promise me next time you won’t let me get so drunk I won’t be able to join in, yeah?”                “Would you actually want to join?” you said. You weren’t sure if you were completely disgusted by this morning conversation with San, or if you were getting turned on again. You also weren’t entirely sure if you would have had Wooyoung pin you down underneath him if you had known San was in the bed opposite.                “Could be hot,” Woo said.                “Honestly, it’s been on my to-do list,” San said. “A threesome with someone who claims himself to be a sex god and also the hottest girl from high school? I wouldn’t say no to that.”                “You tell others you’re a sex god?” you laughed at Wooyoung who turned a suspicious shade of pink.

[dayables]

4 and Shin? That's a dark one, but you write him well so I'd trust you with it. If you want something lighter instead, 17 for Shin!

Thank you for asking this! As you can see, I got into a very deep ramble about his life pre-death game and it doesn’t really tie in but I’ve kept it there :)  The last few parapraghs are the actual answers ahaha. Play some sad music in those paragrapths because I nearly cried with halloween music in the background.    4) What they would do if they had one month to live.   If Shin had one month left to live? We see it in the game kind of. Or at least kind of. Obviously imitating your ‘scary friend’ most likely abuser to try and turn everyone against your biggest threat isn’t going to work in real life. 

What the game and his 0.0% score does tell us (or heavily shove in our direction so we infer it) is that Shin is petrified of certain death to the point of desperation.

I do believe/headcanon that he is a very logical person. Almost everything he does is backed up by logic in the death game except for his last moments because screw logic that’s never worked before.  (The opposite of Keiji who’s likely very emotional until his potential last moments but this isn’t about him). So the question is, when did Shin’s last moments begin for him?  As the player, it’s when it’s that final choice between him and Kanna. To Shin this is likely a very different response. His last moments start the very second he gets told he’s doomed to die. Almost all of Shin’s choices in the game are emotional. Trusting Sara or at least earning her trust is the logical choice here. Making yourself her enemy because you are scared is the emotional one. He just lies to himself on the basis that she’s untrustworthy. Which, you can trick yourself into believing is logical.  It triggers a kind of flight or fight response in all our characters when they realise they can die here. All the cast barr Shin choose to fight and try and escape. Shin chooses the flight option here. Nothing he does actually prevents his death in the end. He just runs away from the inevitable doom. 

 I am once again inferring by comparing him to rest of the cast the death is a deep rooted trauma (and I definitely have thoughts on why). While the concept of death is one that scares everyone, no one seems to revel in it the way Shin does. He is living an incredibly safe life. A free lance programmer (by the sounds of it)  which earns an average of £60 an hour. He has a side job at a convenience store (that wasn’t a lie). He doesn’t leave his apartment much meaning he doesn’t have much of a social life. Shin is in a position in life where it’ll be near impossible to hurt him. Obviously he isn’t earning 60 quid an hour, but he has the potential too. Once he’s set up and successful, he’ll be able to die old. Alone, maybe not happy, but old.  For a guy likely in his early to mid twenties, things are bound to change but only as much as he lets them. From one person who will happily spend all their life in their own company to another, Shin isn’t going to change that. Not when he’s too scared to let someone past arms width and will avoid doing so. By the time he gets his game together and his skinny self to therapy it’ll likely be too late to make the same connections he has the chance too at his current age.  It’s not emotional because even the most introverted of introverts desires a life all alone. It’s a logical one for the fears and life he has. I don’t think that means he isn’t happy. It just thinks there’s a potential that he could have been happier. 

For Midori to have gotten as close as he was and no one to pull up the red flags his friends either didn’t care or didn’t exist. Most likely the latter seeing as he is very much in the process of mourning three years after his friends death. He likely wasn’t close enough to his parents to feel he could go to them over something as silly as Midori’s death. In the aftermath, Shin will be confused and muddled. In some ways, he’ll be elevated because he is free, he can move on. In other ways he’ll be lost, devastated and empty. Shin will also have a semblance of independence back. He doesn’t think he shows enough gratitude to his parents for materialistic items. Midori’s abuse was likely emotional or verbal. It probably consisted of vague threats, put downs, anger, power dynamics and a shrug at Shin’s emotions. I’m in no way a professional but after years of this Shin is going to think his emotions are something he should be able to handle himself, something he might not be able to do if he started to repress them in his teens. Shin likely has a warped sense of independence. Instead of being free from others control, he’ll likely think it means he can’t get help and must deal with everything alone. 

Being told that his death is round the corner strips two things that he values most away from him. He now has zero control over his life and worse, it ends with him dyeing. Shin would grasp for straws to have that independence back and therefore escape his own death. If he couldn’t get his independence back then he’ll try and avoid the end outcome. 

His last month would be a goose chase to avoid death. There’d be a list of everything he has to do. Fuck his jobs, fuck debt he needs to get to the hospital. Get checked up! Make sure he’s well. He’d do it everyday. Does he have enough medicine? Wet wipes, stock up on healthy food, hand sanitizer? Does he have enough hand sanitizer? Make sure his room is squeaky clean, don’t let anyone in, don’t answer the phone. Bolt the windows and live off ramen and debt for the rest of the month. Beanie on, beanie off, what is he going to die from? Has he prevented any possible cause? He’s forgotten to call his parents. That’s fine because he shouldn’t be dyeing anyway. It’s logical. It’s all logical. This is not his fear of death speaking through everything he is doing is logical! Now he just needs to figure out what’s causing this all? How did that person know? Then on the last day. He’d just give up. He’d finally pick up that phone and call his parents. He’d thank them and explain. He’d apologize for the debt because he’s swimming in it then he’d hang up. Shin would then proceed to cry in bed all day and trying to sleep so he just doesn’t wake up.  Then, while it’s a tragedy, I think he’d accept it. I don’t think he ever really thought he had a chance but his emotions drove him round and round in circles. Maybe he would regret his whole life and look back on it all. In a none death game scenario Shin seems like a brooder. He doesn’t have Kanna to live for so he has no reason to push forward. I think in the end he’d reach the conclusion his life was pretty pointless. Just as he’d slip from consciousness I imagine he’d think of Midori. Nearly everything we know about Shin seems to revolves about Midori . We, the player, never know him before the guy entered his life. That guy has a big impacts in his life and in a world where that was the only person to leave such a big mark? I think he’d go back to Midori. Especially with nothing to distract him from his mourning. 

It’s quite sad really. He lets his fear control him too much. Midori controls him too much and they’re both aware of that fact. But in the short, Shin would try and avoid his death. Hell he’ll likely die of exhaustion or caffeine overdose

His ending in the main game, I think that’s the best way Shin could have gone at that age. Dying for Kanna and letting go of his cynicism. 

Ending this off with 17 because I need that jokeness now, after all that. 

17) What would they sing at Karaoke? 

Everyone expects Shin to like bang out with some Beyonce or something. Maybe one of those silly little disney parodies. Everyone would make a joke about what he should sing because he’s indecisive as hell. 

Keiji Kai and all of those mature adults suggest Single Ladies,  Mr. Brightside,  Fireworks, Wannabe because classic Karoke songs you actually have to be able to sing when Shin 100% can’t? Count them in! 

Midori would suggest something embarrassing he knew wouldn’t even be funny to watch. Just painful. 

Gin, Sara, Reko and Alice are snickering behind their hands as they suggest Poor Unfourtunate Souls,  How Bad Can I Be (Alice ended up doing that one), The oogie boogie song and the price Ali reprise. 

When he refuses Sara refuses to let him get away with not being painted as some corny villian and dedicates her singing of Cruella De Vil to him.

Then Kanna taps on his shoulder and tells him what to sing and A: It’s Kanna’s suggestion B: It’s not and a bonus C if he’s drunk: He gets to whack a certain police officer and teacher with a hockey stick. 

And my inner theatre Kid shines through as he I say Shin sings Revolting Children and can’t get his letters write, drunk or sober. 

‘R e v o t l i n !’  instead of ‘ R E V O L T I N G’ 

‘S P L L!’ instead of ‘ S P E L’ 

‘TOO LATE FOR YOU?’ Instead of  ‘ 2-L-8-4-U ‘

I kid you not I have knows this song for years and I still struggle. You can not do that spelling rhythm first time. 

Also the lines. The lines!   We will become a screaming hoard.//Take out your hockey sticks and use it as a sword.// Never again will we be ignored.//We'll find out where the chalk is stored// And draw rude pictures on the board.

It’s such a childish song but it’s so hard. He struggles and struggles and one day he will get it because it’s so simple and why can’t he do it roght! Also, it suits him. Sue me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6PXm34OBP8

[aion-rsa]

Kevin Can F**K Himself Shows Why The Laugh Track Needs to Die

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The title card for the new AMC series Kevin Can F**K Himself isn’t accompanied by a jaunty tune or a wild sound effect. When the title appears on the screen, it’s soundtracked by a smattering of aggressive laughter. Creeping up below the laughter is a distressing screeching noise, meant to indicate the rapidly fraying sanity of our heroine. 

So it’s quite fitting that Kevin Can F**K Himself makes a compelling case for why laugh tracks (or canned laughter) need to die a quick death. The series centers on Allison McRoberts (Annie Murphy), a woman trapped in a marriage to the titular Kevin. Kevin is an infuriating man-child. He throws keg parties on his wedding anniversary, spends obscene amounts of money on sports memorabilia, and treats Allison like an accessory. He is emotionally abusive, often making Allison feel worthless by telling her things like she’s a bad driver or that she never finishes things so that he can keep her all to himself. 

Approximately a third of the series takes place in lala sitcom land in which the lighting is abundant, the set is clearly facing an audience, and Kevin is always there, chewing up the scenery like Pac Man chowing down on glowing dots. However, whenever Kevin exits, Allison finds herself in a more contemplative and complex (aka: single-camera) existence. The trouble is she doesn’t have much of an identity anymore because her entire life has hinged on being Kevin’s long-suffering wife. The juxtaposition of the sitcom world against a more realistic setting serves to illustrate just how jarring and unnecessary canned laughter is to a TV show. When we watch dramas, we don’t hear people bawling over the sad parts or gasping during the shocking moments. Nope. So why do laugh tracks persist?

As an early millennial, I grew up in a world in which laugh tracks were the norm. From “Must See TV” on NBC in the ‘90s to the vintage sitcoms on Nick at Nite, comedy was always served up with a heaping side of giggles and guffaws. Historically, the sitcom cadence did rely on a call-and response reaction as they actually were often filmed in front of a live studio audience, but it was rare that the responses that made it to the final episode were genuine and uncut. 

To be clear, when I’m referring to canned laughter here, I’m not just referring to the prerecorded kind. Sure, that might be the official definition, but even the laughter we hear from live studio audiences is goosed in some way prior to airtime. The practice of “sweetening” the laugh track, or adding in favorable reactions to amplify certain jokes has been in practice for decades, and it’s still in use today. While the creators of a show might be able to proudly say that the reactions came from an actual audience, the reactions are almost always tweaked in post-production in order to punch up the jokes that the creators or network want to land. Therefore, the laugh track on all of your favorite sitcoms is a lie. 

An argument could potentially be made that the practice of adding in a laugh track might make people feel a sense of camaraderie or community with others watching. And this is somewhat true. In a 2011 article on laugh tracks, NBC News noted a 1974 psychological study in which it was found that people laughed more frequently if they heard canned laughter following a joke. These types of social cues can make individuals feel comfortable, but they can also promote conformity. Looking back on the history of sitcoms, it sure seems as if laugh tracks have been complicit in keeping misogynistic and racist messaging at the forefront of comedy.

Kevin Can F**K Himself plays with this idea in every frame of its sitcom world. Nothing is actually very funny within the brightly lit walls of the McRoberts’s house. As previously established, Kevin is simply awful. He’s a huge loser. Yours truly wanted to throttle him, Homer Simpson style, during every scene he was in. Yet, since the sitcom land dictates that Kevin is a damn delight, the audience plays along. 

(It’s worth noting here that Kevin Can F**K Himself was filmed in front of a studio audience. However AMC tells us that, due to COVID restrictions, the audience was small and far away, so the laughs were not picked up on the audio. Therefore, much of the laughter you hear on the show was added in post-production.)

The dynamic between Kevin, Allison, and the viewers in the studio is an exaggerated version of a tableau that has been unfolding on our TV screens for decades. We see a harried, hot wife play a straight man to a dumpy doofus husband, and we’re all supposed to think it’s simply hilarious. It’s worth noting that Kevin Can F**K HImself cribs its title from the Kevin James’ sitcom Kevin Can Wait, in which the series unceremoniously killed off James’s first super hot wife on the show (Erinn Hayes), only to replace her with his prior super hot sitcom wife, Leah Remini. Because women are oh so very interchangeable in the sitcom world, the laugh track on that show never skipped a beat. 

Canned laughter has historically enabled the entertainment world to lift up mediocre men such as Doug Heffernan (Kevin James), Raymond Barone (Ray Romano), and Kevin Gable (Kevin James, again) at the women’s expense. For ages, only a very small handful of white males were allowed to create content as showrunners, directors, and writers at networks. As they had control over the laugh track, they became the arbiters of what was funny and what was not funny. They got to shape reactions according to their worldview, painting the schlumpy dudes as heroes and the women as eager sidekicks. 

While there are oodles of examples of the long-suffering wife throughout sitcom history, we rarely think of these women as victims. All in the Family is considered a classic, but Archie Bunker was viciously verbally abusive to his wife Edith in almost every episode. Sure, it was a different era (and Archie surely isn’t intended to be a role model), but take away the laughs, and what’s left is a depressing portrait of a red-faced husband straight up screaming at his beleaguered wife. And don’t even get me started on The Honeymooners classic line, “to the moon, Alice!” Ahahahaha, yes, spousal abuse. Hilarious. Well, the laugh track thought so, anyway. 

In more recent years, verbal abuse on sitcoms focusing on husband-wife dyads has given way to a more subtle form of emotional abuse. Often, this appears in the form of financial abuse in which a spouse spends or hides money from the other in order to keep them in their place. In Kevin Can F**K Himself, Kevin consistently spends money without consulting Allison first. In one episode, he even proudly states that a recent purchase cost “more than our wedding, but less than our car.” 

This type of abuse has played out in sitcoms forever. Doug Heffernan often hid his spending from Carrie, Raymond Barone invested in a go-cart venture without telling Deborah, and even Fred Flintstone stole money from Wilma’s hidden stash (yep, The Flintstones was a cartoon, but it inexplicably also had a laugh track). These transgressions are generally perceived to be harmless on screen, leading to those canned laffs and a resolution in 30 minutes or less, but in real life, this type of clandestine behavior in relation to finances can be catastrophic, trapping an unhappy wife in a relationship with no means to escape. 

Even TV series that didn’t utilize the wife/husband premise – notably Frasier and Friends – often used audience laughter to support misogynistic punchlines. Friends notoriously used the laugh track to support harmful jokes about fat shaming and transphobia while Frasier’s archaic attitudes towards women were often played for comedy. Personally, I will never ever get over how Frasier Crane treated Roz Doyle, slut shaming her at every turn for over a decade when, in fact, Frasier was sleeping with half of Seattle with nary an eyebrow raise in his snooty direction. (Sorry, rant over. But, seriously, Peri Gilpin rules. #JusticeForRoz)

Laugh tracks help normalize these behaviors. If you’re not laughing at the joke when everyone else is, something must be wrong with you. Women have faced this exact dilemma since the beginning of time. Laugh along or be judged as cold and unfeeling. Be in on the joke or be tossed to the side. This truism is even noted in the recent HBO Max series Hacks in which aging comic Deborah Vance (Jean Smart) confesses to a newbie comedienne why she makes fun of herself in her own act. With a wan smile, Deborah says, “I realized they would rather laugh at me than believe me.”

These are the same exact challenges that Allison finds herself facing in Kevin Can F**K Himself. When Kevin is around, Allison tries her best to play the role she’s been given so that he won’t make her life even more miserable. No one believes or cares that Kevin is awful because they think Allison is lucky to even have landed a man at all. The series overtly illustrates that these types of stories have always just shrugged at viewers, telling us, oh well, boys will be boys, while women’s suffering is shoehorned into punchlines instead of taken seriously. Rather than confronting the thorny reality of disentangling the institutions that lift the Kevins up and keep the Allisons down, the sitcom world treats women’s pain like a joke.  

After years and years under Kevin’s oppressive thumb, Allison isn’t laughing anymore. She’s full of rage and ready to break free. When we see her in her life without Kevin, there are no prescriptive beats dictating what’s funny and what’s not. And it’s so refreshing. Life can be funny! Sometimes Allison is funny in her real life too! Annie Murphy is also very very funny! And yet, even in the absence of a laugh track, viewers can pick up on the funny. Because in this modern age of entertainment, viewers are savvy enough to know what they feel. 

As canned laughter has slowly disappeared, TV has opened up to more nuanced emotion, allowing viewers to discover and explore the highs and lows for themselves. It’s probably not surprising to learn that the few existing series that do still use laugh tracks, such as United States of Al and Bob Hearts Abishola – both airing on CBS and both created by Chuck Lorre – have been critiqued for leaning on racist and sexist stereotypes. Oddly enough, an urban myth has been circulating the internet for years, claiming that everyone on laugh tracks is actually dead because the recordings were made so long ago. As modern audio engineers now update their recordings regularly, this is not true, but the truth is that the laugh track itself is soon headed to an unmarked grave in the entertainment cemetery alongside tube televisions, Smell-O-Vision, and home video rentals.  

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

With critically acclaimed comedies such as Schitt’s Creek (also starring Annie Murphy!), Fleabag, and The Good Place getting laughs without any pre-recorded assistance, home audiences are getting more savvy as to what’s actually funny and what’s just a cheap shot. In addition, social media and the ubiquitous sharing of memes have effectively displaced the laugh track, as people can now actually be part of an interactive community with others, watching and reacting to the same show at the same time. 

In Kevin Can F**K Himself, canned laughter has finally taken its rightful place as a relic of the past. The chuckles and chortles that pepper the series are a knowing nod to a bygone era in which TV series tried to force the funny on viewers instead of letting them find their own way. Finally, laugh tracks aren’t in on the joke; they are the joke.

Kevin Can F**k Himself airs Sundays at 9 p.m. ET on AMC.

The post Kevin Can F**K Himself Shows Why The Laugh Track Needs to Die appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[talkfastromance4]

I Will Wait for You--Michael Clifford (Running Back to You Part 2 wwii au)

Here’s part 2! So sorry it took so long to post, I started  writing it but then changed the dynamic halfway through so this would be Michael’s point of view. I can do a final part in Luke’s perspective and to wrap it up, so please let me know! :)

A/N: “lovie” is reader from Running back to you:)

Running Back to You

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: slight trauma from nightmares, not too major, implied smut

Masterlist

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. *copyright is listed below*

• • • •

Michael jerked awake. A choked gasp escaped his lips as he took in his surroundings, he could still hear the echo of the bomb that went off in his subconscious, leaving his ears ringing. He blinks as hard as he can, recognizing the shadows of his new apartment he rents then panics when he can’t see through his left eye.

The memories come fast as flashes. The grenade that sent him flying from Luke. Flash. Immense pain that soon disappeared on the left side of his face. Flash. The doctor telling him his eye is gone. Flash. Staring at his reflection in the mirror for hours trying to adjust to the bare, sunken in skin where his eye used to be. Flash. Being half in the light and half in the dark for the rest of his life.

He’s thankful he just lost the eye, he’s thankful every day that he’s still alive but it’s taking him a lot longer to adjust than he thought. Swinging his legs over the edge of his bed, he snatches up his eye patch and slips it over his head. He presses down on the edges making sure it’s secure before pushing off the bed and pushes the curtains open.

It’s almost dawn, the burning orange and brilliant pink sky greet him in good morning over the waves of the ocean. Michael cranes his neck to the right and he can just see Luke’s new house. Guilt creeps up Michael’s neck, he hasn’t spoken to Luke in three weeks. He felt embarrassed to see him and confront him with the truth after they left the train station.

After meeting his girl and new daughter, Michael was desperate to see his own dame, Peg. After assuring Luke that Michael would be fine getting to her house on his own, he was filled with nerves once more. Still in his uniform, Michael stepped heavily on her front porch steps then knocked twice and rang the doorbell.

He twiddled the brim of his hat, breath shaking as he waited for the door to open. There’s a commotion behind it, then he’s looking at Peg. Her golden hair pinned up with a barrette made of pearls, she’s prettier than he remembered. Her eyes widened as she took him in, Michael noticed her gaze linger on his eye patch.

“Hi Peg,” he sighed unsteadily, still twisting his hat, “I’m sorry I didn’t get to write. After the liberation and between my surgery I didn’t have time to write to you.”

“That’s…that’s okay, Michael,” she said quietly still staring at his patch.

“I know it’s a lot to get used to, I’m still getting used to it myself,” he chuckled touching the protruding fabric. “But the rest of me is still here, I’m home. Don’t I deserve a hug?” he was half joking the last bit but after witnessing Luke and his girl embrace so tightly back at the station, it left him in uneasiness that Peg didn’t react the same way.

“Oh…yes,” she said then wrapped him in a loose hug.

Michael could only get a small whiff of her lilac soap before she pulled away too quickly. Something was wrong. Has she already decided not to love him anymore because of his eye?

“I’m sorry—”

“Who’s at the door darling? Dinner’s getting—oh, hello,” a man appeared behind Peg. Tall as Michael but with slicked back black hair and a crisp suit.

Michael understood everything. Why Peg seemed so uncomfortable, why she didn’t jump into his arms like Luke’s girl did. She’d already moved on and left Michael none the wiser.

“I’m Chip, who are you sir? Thank you for your service,” Chip held out his hand, but Michael didn’t take it.

“Why don’t you tell him who I am, Peg?” Michael said in a clipped voice.

“Chip this is Michael, he’s my—he was my—”

“We were seeing each other,” Michael added in, his anger rising over the hurt he was trying to push down. “Clearly I didn’t get the memo it’s over while I was halfway across the world.”

“I thought you were dead,” Peg tried to reason, her eyes filled with tears. Chip stood there awkwardly during the exchange.

“Couldn’t wait to get actual word before you found someone to cure your broken heart?” Michael shook his head and turned from the door. He ignored Peg’s voice begging for him to come back, to let her explain but Michael kept walking.

He’d wanted to go to Luke but after witnessing his perfect reunion with his girl and new baby Alice, Michael felt ashamed. He felt subpar compared to what Luke had and it gnawed at him in the worst way. He read the letters Luke sent but didn’t reply to them. The guilt pressed on, but his nightmares pressed harder.

Michael changed quickly into dark slacks and a buttoned shirt; suddenly his apartment became too suffocating. He walked along the street, breathing in the fresh ocean air until he stopped at The Comfort Diner, his new favorite spot.

He’s thankful for it because it opens early and doesn’t close until extremely late in the evening. So, whenever he can’t sleep because of the nightmares, he finds himself in one of the red chairs at the swirling counter and orders the same thing. A strawberry milkshake and a burger with fries.

One of the waitresses, Cherry, always took his order with a kind smile. He likes Cherry because she never gawked at his eye patch but treated him like any other customer. Michael told her what happened with Peg and she offered her apologies and even called Peg some very rude names for what she did.

She’s also incredibly beautiful.

Michael is shocked and frozen in the entrance when he spots Luke sitting at Michael’s usual place. There’s already food in front of him, and Cherry stands nearby with a book propped open next to the register.

“Hi Michael,” Cherry greets cheerily. She bookmarks her place then skips to where Luke is sitting. “Your buddy here said you’d show up this morning, and he’s right. Can I get ya a coffee?”

Michael’s eye darts between Cherry and Luke, who is also staring back at Michael. His expression is unreadable as Michael shuffles to his chair. He sits down heavily then nods to Cherry. When she disappears behind the kitchen door, Michael glances at Luke.

“I’ve been waiting here since half past four,” Luke says, his finger circling the rim of his own coffee mug. “Cherry and I got to talking because my nightmares leave me awake and she said a fellow soldier frequents here with the same type of nightmares. Funny how it’s my best friend who lives just a few minutes from here and a few blocks from me.”

“Luke, I’m sorry. I—”

“Why didn’t you tell me what happened with Peg?” Luke cuts him off, his eyes piercing Michael’s green. “We fought the same war; we see the same nightmares and we could have helped each other all this time. Lovie told me to give you space, let you cope but after two weeks I didn’t know if I’d see you again.”

“I felt embarrassed,” Michael confesses. “You have the picture-perfect life and I’m damaged and loveless. I didn’t want you to see me as weak.”

Luke rolls his eyes. “You aren’t weak at all, Mike. Don’t disappear on me again, yeah?”

Michael nods and accepts Luke’s pat on the back just as Cherry bristles out with a steaming mug of coffee.

“Milk and sugar’s already in there for ya,” she smiles.

“Thanks Cherry,” Michael sighs and accepts the hot liquid. It helps ease his tangled thoughts; it quiets the buzzing.

Luke watches her skip back to her place at the register, opening her book once more then squints his eyes at Michael.

“What?”

“Cherry’s quite the dish and she clearly thinks you’re good looking as well. Ask her on a date.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Why not? Are you still hung up on Peg? What she did was horrible, you don’t deserve that, and she doesn’t deserve you feeling this way.”

“What nightmares do you see?” Michael asks taking a sip of his coffee while also trying to deter the topic of conversation.

“Everything. The bombs, the towns…that officer’s family,” Luke finishes hollowly. “I wake in a cold sweat every night.”

“I see them too. But I mainly relive the bombs, and when I wake up, I forget my eye is gone. I have to process that loss all over again…do you wake lovie up?”

“Sometimes, but that’s when I’m…screaming,” Luke gulps. “I forget where I am sometimes but when I hear her voice…I know I’m safe.”

“I’m glad she’s your safe space, Luke. And I’m sorry for disappearing, I promise I won’t do that again. Solitude is worse than I thought.”

“It’s the beast in you, yeah?” Luke grins and they’re back to normal. “Come out with me and lovie tonight. There’s a dance club near the boardwalk that always lingers to the beach.”

“I’m not much of a dancer,” Michael shakes his head.

“Neither am I. Hey Cherry, do you like to dance?” Luke calls over. Michael is horrified but Cherry is radiant.

“Sure, I do!”

“Meet us at the Nostalgic Club say about eight o’clock?”

**

When Luke and lovie came to retrieve Michael for a night of dancing, Luke made him change into his uniform. Apparently, it was a special night for those who served, a welcome back home soirée.

“Cherry’s one lucky lady,” lovie smiles at Michael when he comes out in his uniform.

The nightclub is already hopping when the three arrive. A jazz band plays loudly and exuberantly onstage while couples are jiving and flipping over each other with the music. There are indeed a lot of men in uniform, and a few ladies as well. The atmosphere is buzzing, and Michael lands his eye on Cherry who’s wearing a pearlescent dress, her hair pinned exquisitely atop her head. She’s breathtaking.

The group cross the dancefloor to a smiling Cherry and Michael feels self-conscious. How is he supposed to dance with her looking like a vision? He’s surprised he didn’t trip over his feet already.

The girls are introduced and soon they all have drinks in their hand, feet tapping to the music. It’s not long after that lovie pulls Luke to the dancefloor, the pair stepping in time with the other couples easily. Michael and Cherry exchange nervous smiles.

“You’re not a dancer, are you?” Cherry asks kindly.

“Not the fast-paced kind, no,” Michael chuckles watching her sip her kiddie cocktail.

“Do you want to head out to the beach? It’s a little stuffy in here,” Cherry scrunches her nose up in an adorable way.

Michael is quick to agree, leading her outside with his hand on the small of her back. Once they reach the beach, they sit on the cemented steps along the perimeter of the sand. Michael sets his hat next to him and Cherry sits a little close, he can smell her perfume. It’s floral and fruity, almost like strawberries.

They sit in silence watching the waves crash upon the shore, the moonlight glittering the spray. The music can still be heard along with laughter and chatter. It’s a comfortable sort of silence.

“Michael?”

“Hm?”

“What happened to your eye? I know I’m prying, but I’ve heard talking about it helps and I’m willing to listen. If you’d like to, that is.”

He looks at her with his good eye, he desperately wishes he could see her without the feeling of being half in darkness. He can tell she’s genuine in her questioning.

“It was a grenade,” he starts quietly, “we were walking in the street of a small town. I have no idea where it came from. All I remember is being flung away from Luke and everything went black. When I came to, everything was…red and black and blurry. My ears were ringing but Luke was talking to me…I think I was running on adrenaline. Sometimes it feels like it’s still there.”

Cherry grabs his hand, lacing their fingers together.

“That’s what my nightmares are about. In my dreams I can still see, then the bomb goes off and I’m back in this weird…dark and light space.”

“How often do you dream of that?”

“Nearly every night,” he sighs, he gives her hand an involuntary squeeze.

They’re silent once more, Michael hopes he hasn’t scared her off. They listen to the big band play, more swing music and then it switches to a softer ballad, one that Michael likes. The familiar trumpet croons into the late summer night, and the lead singer’s voice starts the rendition of Harry James’ ‘It’s Been a Long, Long Time.’ Michael stands to his feet, pulling Cherry up with him.

“This, I can dance to,” he smiles. She returns his smile and fits into the curve of his arms perfectly. They sway in the sand and Michael starts to sing softly in her ear, “it’s been a long, long time haven’t felt like this, my dear since I can’t remember when…”

“You have a lovely voice,” Cherry sighs and hums along with his singing.

The song comes to a close, Michael stares down at Cherry as she stares back at him.

Kiss me once

He leans down and gives her the faintest kiss.

Then kiss me twice

He pulls back and looks at her once more, she gives him a gentle nod, so he kisses her twice.

Then kiss me once again

It’s only a fraction of a second that he pulls back before he presses his lips to hers for good. They kiss and dance under the moonlight until Luke and lovie find them.

**

It’s their twelfth date and it’s ended at Michael’s apartment, the record player playing their song as they kiss silently on his couch. Their fingers worked on buttons then Michael hoisted her onto his lap, his fingers slipping beneath the skirt of her dress. Cherry’s fingers scratched up his sideburns and into his hair. When she meets with the strap of his eye patch he freezes.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she pants removing her hand quickly.

“No, it’s—it’s okay,” he swallows harshly, his green eye focused on her. “Do you…do you want to see what it looks like? It usually starts to hurt around this time, the fabric digs into my skin.”

“Only if you’re comfortable,” she nods leaning back.

Michael lifts his arms and removes the strap from behind his head, then lifts the patch off his face. The skin is sunken in and folded over a little in the center, but the circumference is smooth. Cherry lifts her fingers then pauses midair, eyes shifting to Michael who nods giving her permission. She touches the skin delicately.

It’s plush yet tough at the same time, Michael sighs at her caress.

“What do you think?” he asks.

Cherry looks into his eye then cradles his face in her hands.

“You’re the handsomest soldier I’ve ever seen,” she smiles then attaches her lips to his.

Being vulnerable in front of Cherry filled Michael with a new form of confidence. Soon, both were bare in the most intimate way, their bodies joining as one. Fingers locking and unlocking as pleasure rippled through them. They declared their love at the same time and when the moment of euphoria passed, Cherry kissed the space of skin.

“The beauty fell in love with the beast,” he whispers on her neck and her giggles drift into the night.

• • • •

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[jerepars]

Throwing Copper Extended Chapter Notes

1 / 5 Reinventing Your Exit

Hyperlinks appear in blue (underlined on mobile). The story is posted here.

Teresa could see the stress James carried in his jaw and the dark circles under his eyes. She recognized it because she’d seen it in herself before, the restlessness and slight delirium, when she wasn’t sleeping.

The first sentence is an ode to the opening lyrics of Remo Drive’s “I’m My Own Doctor”: I’ve been self-diagnosing all of my problems, carrying all my stress in my jaw.

David Lee Autry was one of many aliases James had over the last few years but one he maintained with close attention because the so-called Autry had a credit card in his name. James hadn’t exactly had time to pack a bag when he broke out of a CIA facility to warn Teresa about impending doom. He showed up in New Orleans in a stolen car, the clothes on his back, contents of his pockets, and a bullet lodged in his chest.

David Lee Autry is the name written on James’ fake passport in 2x03 (around 20:54 in the episode); Pete from the militia group reads it.

James felt a lump in this throat. Whether it was because there was something very domestic about letting someone else do his laundry or because he worried the warning he’d come with wasn’t enough to protect Teresa every time she walked out the door, he wasn’t sure. But he swallowed his feelings down and didn’t put up an argument to her laundry suggestion. He appreciated the clothing George had lent him, but oversized tracksuits and brightly patterned button-down shirts were far from James’ aesthetic. And he absolutely refused to put on King George-branded attire, aerodynamic or not, so he’d been going commando while waiting for David Lee Autry’s online order to show up at Teresa’s PO Box.

When Teresa and James meet King George for the first time in 2x01, we get the lovely scene where he yells for someone to get Teresa a King George bikini (1:12) and later points to the speedo he’s wearing, saying “aerodynamic as shit, will make you feel alive, I trust” (1:18). And, like, who am I to not bring up aerodynamic speedos and going commando?

The doctor had come back and after patching him up, again, prescribed bed rest for the patient who seemed to be doing everything to keep aggravating his body rather than help it get better. Teresa had been furious, asking if he had a death wish after all, so he’d spent the last two days bored out of his mind in bed from inactivity, barely sleeping and reading Faulkner. Or maybe he’d barely slept because he was reading Faulkner. Either way, James knew it best to tread lightly where Teresa was concerned.

That didn’t mean he couldn’t sit in a chair at a desk though. Anything would be an improvement over laying on his back and waiting for his thoughts to float up to the ceiling.

So, listen, since they’re in Louisiana, and given their close proximity to matters of death and dying, if James is going to be reading anything at all, it just feels fitting that he’d be reading Southern literature, specifically William Faulkner. As I Lay Dying is an obvious choice, but personally I think he’d be reading The Sound and the Fury. Not that it matters.

The last sentence in the second paragraph is a reference to “Dreamspace” by Glacier Veins, and the line that goes I’m on my back so I float up to the ceiling to feel different.

Teresa had cried herself to sleep that night thinking about everything that could have gone wrong, if he hadn’t made it in time, or if he had but if it had been too late for him. It wasn’t just anyone—it was James, and he would’ve spent his last dying breath to tell her to chase safety if that was what it took.

Never did I think I’d manage to make a nod to and with my one last gasping breath I’d apologize for bleeding on your shirt from “You’re So Last Summer” by Taking Back Sunday. To be here, in 2020, as an adult, and finding a way to make that reference is...strange yet somehow satisfying at the same time. Also, the chapter title is in reference to a song off the Underoath album They’re Only Chasing Safety, and it looks like I found a way to work that in as well. I don’t know why my musical inspiration for this version of Jeresa seems to come from music that peaked in the early 2000s?

There was a time when James had been her mentor to the underworld, always keeping her from sinking to the bottom, even when he’d been the one who had to make the tough calls and take the brutal actions. She didn’t think he’d ever be able to rid himself of that balancing act, of showing her the ropes but strongly advising her to untether herself from the line completely, to walk away. Teresa could still hear his voice in the back of her mind, from the night after the party at the Birdman’s when he told her in a matter-of-fact fashion why he’d sent her in: your job was to learn. Since then, and especially in his absence, it seemed there’d been only tough lessons to learn and bitter pills to swallow.

I have so much appreciation for the early dynamic between James and Teresa. The car scene in 1x05 outside the warehouse is a highlight because when Teresa gets out, all indignant, she thinks she has the last word (0:15), and James comes right back at her (0:21) to tell her how it is. He’s kind of smug about it. I love it.

And I know that there’s trouble all the time. But it’s interesting that when they get away from this dynamic (especially in S4 where it doesn’t exist, because James isn’t there), it seems that’s where the real trouble comes in.

The balance that they create is delicate.

They were so far removed from the time he’d said I’ve got a plan for a future and it doesn’t include getting killed by crossfire meant for you. But he’d chosen crossfire—sought it out, really—that was what his future devolved into. And like he’d said back then, she was trouble. More and more, Teresa had begun to wonder if there was anything the James she’d first met in Dallas wasn’t right about.

I know this scene in 1x04 is often reblogged and quoted. After watching it several times, my only question is if it’s just the lighting of the scene or did they forget to apply James’ tattoos on set that day? I can’t watch it or see gifs of it now without that bothering me.

It only took Teresa a day to get the cat to venture inside and it only took George a few minutes to declare its name: Peach. God damn, we got ourselves a grumpy cat on our hands, George had exclaimed as she sunk her claws into his flesh before escaping from his embrace like a magic trick, she’s got the same personality as Giant Peach over here. She’s little Peach.

So I guess I rolled with that bts picture of Peter from Alice’s story and wrote the cat into the story. I bet this cat makes zero appearance in S5 and at no point do any of them ever have a pet but I did it anyway. The first thought when I saw it was “Peach and Giant Peach”. Would James be a cat guy? I think he would.

George suspected there was much more to the exchange than the parting words voiced out loud, noticing there was a sense of thanks in her eyes, too. The looks Teresa and James gave each other exuded the tension between them and always made it feel at least ten degrees hotter than it actually was in any room. They had their own way of communicating that only made sense to them, that no one else was privy to. There were better odds throwing copper down a wishing well than trying to decode their language of silence.

The story title comes from “Throwing Copper” by Touché Amoré. Like throwing copper in a well. You’ll never know if wishes work only time can tell.

This is not really the part that made me decide to name the story after the song, but I was still happy to find a place for it in the narration.

“Think you might need to reinvent your exit strategy, Giant Peach,” George said with a frown, nearly in disbelief with himself over what he was about to reveal to James.

“Reinvent?”

“Reinvent. Rethink. As in don’t make one. Methinks the last thing Little Principessa needs right now is more people leaving.” George spoke without his usual puns, so James didn’t have to question if he was being serious.

As mentioned earlier, the chapter title is from a song off of They’re Only Chasing Safety, “Reinventing Your Exit”. I think this might be the biggest Underoath song there ever was? Just listening to this makes me feel 14 again. This was such a gateway to other music that I ended up loving.

Teresa’s evolving thirst for vengeance, to even the score, was foreign to James. It was part of Teresa that scared James a bit. Before he left Phoenix, he’d seen tiny red flashes of her anger, questionable decisions so far removed from when she’d stood within shooting distance on a train car and said we can do a different way, where none of us has to die. Her vision had seemed clear then; she wanted to move product without the same bloodshed as Camila. When James worked for Teresa, he’d never wanted her to lose herself in the business, and never thought she should stay in the business—those were things she’d said she never wanted, too. But being at the top in the business, like she was, it changed people. It was inevitable. It pulled them down into the fire until there was nothing left but scorched earth.

I get the sense that we are never ever getting this kind of James in canon, who is not totally cool with the part of Teresa that she shuts off in order to be queen. I think we probably get another yes man. And for canon, for the sake of Teresa being the queen, I get it. That’s fine. But, in any fic, I always find myself trying to humanize characters and not just leave them as archetypes. The reason this story got so long, the reason there was no way I was going to get through it in 2500 words or less (lol, who am I kidding, I can’t write anything of that length), is because I realized this is the James I want to explore. I want to see him push back at Teresa and not just let go, not just get shut down. Because Teresa is far from perfect and she doesn’t always make the right decisions (tbh, I think she makes a lot of dumb decisions). It’s a delicate balance between the two of them that gives the best outcome.

James’ thoughts in this first chapter are the setup for the exploration of the Jeresa dynamic in the next two chapters.

James used to see a blinding light when he looked right into Teresa’s eyes, a moral compass of sorts, always willing him to choose the humanity he’d buried so deep. But now it was light mixed with dark, integrated too well to be separated. Now looking into her eyes was like staring at a flickering light, not sure if it was going to illuminate the cave or burn out.

Here is the part of “Throwing Copper” that resonated with me for this whole thing: Like staring at a flickering light, you don't know when It'll burn out, or how much time you have left to let it light up your life.

So relevant.

I don’t want to lose you. Maybe that had been a proclamation of love in her own way, and maybe that was the last honest thing Teresa had ever said to James, after she’d realized she’d been wrong to doubt him. Those words had gripped him and followed him. He’d found solace and comfort in them even after he left, because he’d wanted nothing more than to stay, but he left to protect her because of what Devon had hanging over his head.

One of the lines in Tegan and Sara’s “This is Everything” is baby, this is the last honest look I’ll ever give. But by the end of the song it turns into baby, this is the last honest love I’ll ever give.

Teresa and James so obviously love each other but they never say that out loud, right? I feel like that moment in 3x12 when she says “I don’t want to lose you” (around 23:05 of the episode) is the closest we’ve gotten thus far. There’s a silent moment before she says it, and a silent moment after, before James answers and I swear all of it is so telling. The silence. The way they look at each other. The body language. Everything. They know.

[takoyakitenchou]

can i have headcanons of seijuro and auden, pls?

yus here are some random hcs strewn about my google drive (and the margins of a few midterms lol) 

everything under the cut bc it’s kinda long

Ibusaki Seijuro, fuckboy extraordinaire

height in 2nd year: 5′11 (180 cm) 

weight in 2nd year: 160 lbs (73 kg)

preferred clothing brand: does not care as long as they’re Hawaiian shirts

favorite movie/show: Fight Club

favorite book: Shogun (Clavell)

top song on Spotify he’s on the Kurokiba family plan lol: 3 Nights by Dominic Fike

non-culinary activities: billiards and breaking (pop culture calls it breakdance but that is not the right term)

Sei is the first son of Ibusaki Shun and Sakaki Ryoko. He has his mother’s magenta hair and father’s slate grey eyes

Hawaiian shirts and Totsuki ties. Hawaiian shirts. He has an incorrigible belief that there is not enough color at Totsuki (obviously he hasn’t seen his hair lol) and therefore only wears the brightest colors possible. Sei can typically be seen in the early morning running daily laps around Legislation wearing his prized Birkenstocks

When he’s in the dorm or at Nakiri Mansion, however, he wears turtlenecks and sweatpants (with Birkenstocks)

Cooking in front of an audience is Seijuro’s true forte. He makes an elaborate live show out of every dish, spinning around in his basketball shorts, Hawaiian shirt, Totsuki tie, and Birkenstocks. Sei does not wear aprons lol but at the Autumn Elections, the Nakiri cousins persuaded Auden to coerce Seijuro into wearing at least semi-formal attire but he showed up in a flamboyant flannel instead. Wild af

He started getting into Spanish cuisine after he discovered Dia de los Muertos and the colorful calaveras, and he makes a point of making pan de muerto for the Nakiri-PSD members every year to celebrate the holiday. The only death he’s celebrating, though, is the death of Auden’s sanity (more on that later)

By virtue of his parents’ sake and smoked foods empire, he also dabbles in their specialties but he won’t be the heir to their company (working title IbuSakaki if I can arrange the kanji properly LOL). His max is fermenting sake for gang parties but after the SenAudpocalypSei (Sena + Auden + Seijuro + apocalypse), he starts smoking cigarettes and this is what really drives the final wedge between him and Auden

Sei and Auden stagiaire with the brothers Aldini and they learn how to use a mezzaluna. Extremely proficiently

One night he and his best bro Auden get on the drunker side despite both of them being notorious heavyweights, and they go to a tattoo shop and Sei gets six piercings in one ear. And two on the other. He doesn’t even notice until like six days later when one of the helixes on his left ear gets infected

Sei is the girl magnet of the school, and most people assume that he has like 593 girlfriends (or at least 593 girls that he fools around with), but in reality he’s almost always been in love with Marui Sena, and he’s actually not as much of a fuckboy as his reputation explicity states implies. But rep is rep, and he loves being the center of attention, so he lets the rumors spread like wildfire. And he does have a hoe-ish personality but this is completely repressed as soon as Sena transfers into gen 120 for high school

Sei’s one true weakness is his loyalty to Auden and his affections for Sena. Ultimately, his attempt to keep both on either side of him will serve as a catalyst for the SenAudpocalypSei and they’ll tear Totsuki up by its roots

He hangs out with Nakiri Jouichirou a lot (Asahi’s son, 117th gen and serving as the youngest lecturer in the history of Totsuki) and eventually learns the Crossed Knives technique from him. Jou acts more like an older brother than a professor to Sei and they grow extremely close

Kurokiba Auden, would-be Planet Earth narrator

height in 2nd year: 6′0 (183 cm)

weight in 2nd year: 165 lbs (75 kg)

preferred clothing brand: Billabong

favorite movie/show: Planet Earth

favorite books: Fountainhead (Rand) and The Prince (Machiavelli) his choices were heavily influenced by the Sorina and Akisako children

top song on Spotify: Wonderlust by Will Post

non-culinary activities: swim

Auden is the only child of Kurokiba Ryo and Nakiri Alice. When he was born, Souma and Erina were in that hazy pre-dating phase and so Alice and Ryo were unsure if the Sorina baby would be named Nakiri or Yukihira. They decided not to name their kid Nakiri Auden because Alice would do anything to avoid a repeat of the Nakiri cousins conflict (she inevitably has lingering resentments from being in Erina’s shadow for the first 18 years of her life) but Auden is the legal heir to the Nakiri-Totsuki Group. Obviously, Ryoali had no idea that Yukihira Kaede would end up not even being in the culinary business lol

The only potential competition for Auden’s inheritance ends up becoming Nakiri Jouichirou, who is the only one in the family from the next era who carries the Nakiri name. But Jouichirou is completely disinterested in running the empire so Auden has no trouble assuming the throne later on

Auden’s eyes are different reds. His heterochromia isn’t as noticeable as Kaede’s but his left eye is a few shades darker than his right. Especially after he joins the Elite Ten and gets no sleep (dark circles lol), he looks exactly like his dad but with shorter hair (think Central Arc but shorter). He uses his dad’s bandana on occasion but it only returns him to normal function. His voice is literal heaven. He could’ve been a narrator for Planet Earth.

He’s extremely soft and mild mannered, with none of his mother’s (and his father’s, to be fair) eccentricities. Auden is the most responsible out of the Elite Ten and pretty much the entire cast of the Genesis verse, 92′ers included. He has no emotional extrema (part of the reason why the bandana hardly affects him) and this is a relief for his parents, because it lessens his chances of dissociation and fugue

Auden specializes in Danish cuisine from a bit of a molecular standpoint, resulting from his time in the lab with his mom

In his second year of middle school, he dips a week to compete at national swim competition in Osaka and easily wins. He’s sponsored by Totsuki’s Sports Association and its founder/pres, Luc Tadokoro-Aldini

When he was younger, Auden spent a lot of time with Auntie Hisako, who drilled a whole bunch of medicinal knowledge into him because being a Ryoali child is a hazardous occupation so later when he meets Sei he finds out abt his smoking (Auden thought smoking as in cigarettes but Sei meant smoking as in food) and makes Sei promise not to smoke. It’s their first and only promise as best bros, and Sei picking up cigarettes in 3rd year pretty much destroys their friendship

Auden cuts the sleeves off of every t-shirt he owns, and ripped jeans are kind of his thing. Unlike Seijuro, who at least wears the Totsuki tie, Auden does not own a single article of the school uniform lol but Dean Hayama pretends not to notice

His goal is to be head chef for one of Tsukasa Eishi’s restaurants. This is pretty much the trigger for SenAudpocalypSei

I won’t go into too much detail about the SenAudpocalypSei bc that’ll take center stage in Renaissance anyhow but a vague summary is that Auden puts his career over his friends and Sei completely loses faith in him. Although the conflict stems from Auden’s career goals, it ends up revolving mostly around the love triangle between Seijuro, Auden, and Sena; ultimately they destroy a lot of the Totsuki dynamic that developed under Arato-Hayama Hikari’s tenure as first seat

[randomkposts]

Up the down way

So I once wanted to write a FFIV AU, with a very different universe and an OC Callian Jackson. here was my attempt at note taking.

Callian is here in the story as Kain and Rosa's best friend. Kain and Rosa are dating, and with Callian here, there is a different dynamic to their friendship, as Kain has two girls teaming on him to do things, and is probably not left alone to brood as often as he would like, among other things. Callian is mostly here, because Cecil was being raised elsewhere, and Callian is a girl who lost both her parents in the war, and chose to take up the way of the dark knight, and passed it, becoming good enough to be a Captain of the red wings. She is not a cannon clone of Cecil or Kain, though she may take some elements of the roles, she is ultimately her own weirdo in the story. I do not intend her to be an expy, and hopefully she does not come off as a Sue either.  Cecil is still in this story, just obviously not here in Baron. He'll probably show up briefly soon. The characters will not be as you remember, because the blue planet they grew up in is not the one we are used to, and there are some odd consequences to that. The social chemistry of the world is different, and so are they.

Is a bit of a parody and an AU Alice in Wonderland style, in that the characters can be downright odd.

Plot:  When Callian Jackson's invasion of Mysidia goes wrong, she is sent to be a delivery person as atonement. Callians invasion likely went wrong because of a stray berserk spell, and her soldier's went nuts on the people. Never less, a good commander should rise above that, and accomplish the mission, keep the men's respect. Kain, wondering what Rosa was talking about, Comes into the room to ask, and ends up getting sent alongside Callian to Mist. ---

The scene starts with Callin quietly but furiously questioning her men,  and her men too ashamed to say anything to her, beyond monster warnings. She begins, quietly, and intensely angry, getting details about the mission , until a monster attack distracts her, much to their relief. To the king, she is quietly upset, trying  to hold her temper. Kain wanders into the room, and gets sent along. She does let it out when Rosa comes to her room, as Rosa often serves as an outlet.

Differences from IV: Kain is dating Rosa, and is not nearly as broody or secretive in part to having two woman who would pester him if he was off. Rosa is a lot more outspoken, and has Scrying abilities, as well as being Paranoid of Troians.  Callian had a crush on Kain, but when Rosa asked him out, they talked about it, and Calians happy for them. I think in the original, Cecil was a peacemaker who asked Rosa to leave Kain alone,even when he deserved a chewing out.

Day two: They leave the castle with a  feeling of Destiny in their hearts. At Baron, Calian goes and finds stuff with "treasure hunter senses", and Kain goes to buy supplies, (bartering , an act learned from Rosa).  While Kain contemplates sporks, he runs into fan-girls and an eager dancer, and helps Calian take a tent from a river when he jumps. Once out of Town, the two decide to train like mad, then ride  the Chocobos to the mountain , so they go south. They earn goblin and cocatrice. Meanwhile, at the castle, a Scrying Rosa sees them going the wrong direction, and decides to catch up with them using many Hermes sandals, and remembering why using too many items outside of battle is bad (made her more susceptible to the illness later). Meanwhile, Callian and Kain reach the grove after fighting enough battles with goblins to win the summon , and grab Chocobos. When Rosa arrives after, she sees  a black Chocobo and uses it, much to the pale haired man's upset utterances. -(Yes that is Cecil, Lol)-She flys over the mountain and lands , deciding to rest in the grasslands. Meanwhile Callain and Kain arrive at the mountains, and take a rest instead of going in and facing zombies. (Rosa tells many horror stories) They get through the cave fine, and decide to rest in the tent before entering Mist.

Day two, part two: Well rested, our hero's enter the cave and run into porcupines and the dragon of Mist. Kain is not fond of attacking Dragons, so they try to run, only to have to kill it anyways.  Entering the village, bombs attack from the Carnelian Signet .Rather than Come to the logical conclusion, Callain concludes its a test and she is meant to be foiling a ninja plot , and begins shouting orders and getting people to safety "taking command" of a chaotic situation.She decides to evacuate. Following orders, Kain goes to help a little girl, who- furious her village is being invaded- summons Titan, separating Kain from Callian.  Meanwhile Rosa, believing they would be taken to Kaipo until they were transferred to Fabul and shipped to Troia, wanders around outside of Kaipo, trying to find the blasted place In the desert. She runs into Tellha, who informs her she is not the Mage he's looking for.

Day three: Kain wakes up, and decides to find a place for the little girl he accidentally orphaned to sleep, and perhaps be adopted. So he goes to Kaipo, a neutral city, and more importantly, close.  In the middle of the night, three Guards come for Kain and Rydia. Kain sends them away stating Calian asked him to watch this kid. The Captain then asks if Rosa was here, since she has been missing and that their  purpose here was a search party. Kain offers to take over the desert search party, much to their relief, and they go. Kain is glad that encounter could be solved by negotiating, as that was one of Callins competent Captains. Meanwhile Rosa collapses at Kaipos gates.

The next day, Rydia wakes up and can't remember the attack, or what she's doing here, and asks where her mother is. Kain informs her that her mother is dead. She is quiet after that. They hear some rumors about a girl with desert fever, and some more about the prophetic chick Anna who everyone had talked about the other day when they were looking for an inn. They find Rosa and discover she was the one with desert Fever.  Kain goes off to find a sand pearl, and Rydia comes with him. In fact she refuses to leave him, very assertively. Kain gets Rydia some weapons. Rydia proves competent at Healing, and distracting monsters with weak attacks for Kain to counter. They use this strategy since Kain can't jump and leave her. Beyond battle, Rydia is quiet and unobservant in terrain. Kain has to hold her hand to prevent her wandering off.

Randomly added note.(Edges difference in attitude comes from a more comprehensive training due to an attack on the palace he almost died at. He is quieter and more ninja like.)

R.A.N2(Edward is determined to get the prophet who tried to save him back! He is more determined than sad.)

R.A.N3( Palom is already a sage, spellwise. He had to learn some cure magic until someone gave Porem a cure staff. The problem with the twins is that they are five year old prodigies, who are probably pushed because of paranoia over Baron. They have some issues. Palom has high standards, is hypercritical of himself, and uses lots of false bravado. He needs the rest of the world to believe he's awesome.  Porem has a terrible bedside manor, and anger management issues, so carries a cure staff, so when she hits people, it heals them. They are quite nervous about teaching her hammer style fighting, even if she might be good at it, because no cure hammer has been invented. )

RAN 3.5: (Kain has to protect them on his way up the mountains. That means covering and countering the attacks directed towards them in battle, taking breaks for them, and giving them piggybacks. He also gives Rydia piggybacks. The trip up the mountain is a long and grueling journey. PS: Write a story about Cecil and the twins climbing the mountain, frame as elders revenge)

Finally Kain and Rydia arrive at the cage and meet Tellaha.

Rn4( Tellaha can see the future. Or at least possible outcomes of the future. Kain being here, makes him realize something is different, but he can't quite remember what. He has trouble differentiating between what is a possibility and what is real, leading him to sway between right for the wrong reasons, and completely off base. He seems to believe in the original timeline at the moment, and may leave on a quest for Cecil. Tellah is also amnesic, and can not remember past Anna's eleventh birthday)

Rn4.5 (This world's Anna is kind of Joan of Arc, and Callian’s main opponent, and they will clash more throughout the fic. Callin kind of sees her as worthy adversary, and keeps her alive, but gives her to Kain so she doesnt have to explain it.)

Tellaha informs  them they are late, much to their confusion, and they enter the cave. Throughout the cave, they find several potions, and pieces of dark knight armour and a sword . Kain notes he does not have to worry about getting Callin a birthday present now. Tellaha focuses on teaching Rydia thunder and ice spell words, as fire will not be very useful in an water cave. Rydia tells them the smell of smoke terrifies her.

Kain and Tellaha reconsider their plans to have goblin for dinner, in favour of smoked goblin. Then again, fire keeps away Zombies. Kain and Tellaha debate the merits of fire as they continue through the cave.

(RN5: Rosa has a crazily complex family tree that includes, but is not limited too, Tellaha &Anna, Palom&Porem& Sheila[ Yangs wife]. It debatably includes Rydia. Maybe. Callian of course has no idea of this when she sits down and tries to relate to Rosa just how odd this is.)

(RN6: Rosa hates Troians. Troia, in this universe, are the Amazonian-esque city. They are fierce magical archers who steal or entice men into their castle, in an attempt to sire strong warriors. As a magical archer (white) Rosa is often accused of being one, and has grown a tad resentful. It doesn't help that Rosas family is from Mysidia, Barons former close ally [before the attack], who is traditionally rivals with Troia. Kain has huge respect for ninjas, like Callain has for monks )

After a brief rest, Tellah attacks Kain, asking where they are, who they are, and what happened to his daughter. Kain reminds them of the current quest, and Tellah asks where Cecil is. Kain asks who Cecil is, and they continue  on through the monster packed cave, to face the Octomamoth. Kain has to keep to the strategy of defending Tellaha and Rydia, and countering the monsters attacks, while Tellaha and Rydia put their lightning based attacks to good use. It's a fairly long and painful battle, but they emerge victorious. Upon exiting the cave, they see an attack on Damcyan in the distance. They go to investigate.  

Upon entering Damcyan, they meet Calian at the entrance, with Anna unconscious. Tellaha is out of it.  Calian asks if they have seen Rosa, as she has gone missing. Kain affirms they have, and that she has desert fever, and they need a Damcyan person to get a sand pearl. Callian tells him, that although she still feels disturbed with Baron actions of late, she's happy to report, there were fewer casualties, her men were controlled in temperament, and once the tactician was knocked out, resistance fell apart. She believes Anna may be a genius tactician, and brilliant leader.  

Upon seeing the tactician Anna, Tellaha attacks Callian, accusing her of being a spooney bard who ran off with his daughter, married her without permission , and got her killed.

Callin tells Kain to keep his companions under control, and get their stories straight.  She also insists to Kain she is not a lesbian, and that she better leave if he wants help from the Damcyains. Before going, she tells him she found this among Mist, and gives Kain the bomb item hoping it will be useful to him.

Kain tells Tellaha he was attacking the wrong person, and they should go inside. They see people bringing a either pot downstairs to the wounded, and begin healing them. Rydia and Tellah spend time helping with magic, and Kain uses first aid, and helps with moving people downstairs. Eventually he comes across Edward mourning his mother and father. Kain, having some tact, leaves him alone for now. Once the cleanup is done, they begin moving the bodies Kain comes up, to talk with Edward. (Rosa has had him come on talks to patients families and he and Callian have also done so to their soldiers families).  Kain is still quite blunt, but has learned some thing about talking to grieving people. Sorta.

They have a talk, and he manages to convince Edward to both help them get the sand pearl, and warn Faboul, once his kingdom is better. Rosa being a healer is mentioned. Rydia has no outburst. Once a second for Edward is appointed, they go to move out. Tellah yells at Edward asking what he was doing with his eleven year old daughter, and is asked what he is talking about by Edward. The only Anna he met was the glorious savior of Damcyan.

Tellah gets mad and runs off, much to Kain and Rydias discomfort. Finally they set off for the anitolin den. Much to Kains annoyance,  he is still the group shield. The Antoilon is not a difficult foe, and after many battles they earn not only the sand pearl, but the elusive rainbow jelly for Edward, who is not going to give this one to Callain.

(RN7 Callain is crazy prepared in some ways.  She insists on fighting many monsters with Kain outside of town, to stock up on items & Gil harvester as an ability.  She and Cid had airships capable of invading the moon, that were destroyed by the red wings, because they left them with the RW in preparation to invade the moon. She also has oddly convenient timing, and a love of training people, with a dream to fill the bestiary. She buys every weapon, shield, ect.  It's why Kain had Goblin on him. )

They then battle their way out of the cave,  and take the hover across the shoals. They fight a few battles and get cockatrice summon.

Rydia is pleased. Rosa is revived.

The story goes on, but I haven't moved far past that point.

So some explanations and headcanons to make sense of this verse

Baron is at war with Ebalan. The crystals being stolen and the army, and Callian’s explanation of “foiling a ninja plot” are tied to this. The war started over a catastrophic failure in marriage negotiations.

Rosa is the current heir of Baron. She is tied to the lineage of the throne through her grandmother, a princess who married a mysidian mage, who had her mother, who married a dragoon in Barron. It was a scandalous story back in the day, although it is kept on the down low now that the king has fathered no children, and they are at war. Kain is looked at as the future ruler, because of this. Politics will play a part, particularly during the Fabul castle invasion.  Also Rosa needs to be depicted with more muscle please, she wields a bow for crying out loud. She should be soo buff.

There are rumors that Calian is the heir. Callian plays along with this to protect her friend.

Calian is loyal to her friends, but she is also loyal to her country and the people she leads. She is not leaving on Kain’s quest because she intends to take care of the people back home. I wanted to contrast the personal reasons of Kain being an antagonist from cannon, and avert brainwashing. She’s not as blind as she pretends to be, and comes up with some very bizarre explanations to others in the intention to subvert the malice in her orders. She won't be able to look away forever, but in the meantime she can use “alternative explanations” to do things like prevent Mist from being a genocide, or win Damcyan with less casualties ( Anna of Arc was a pretty big factor in this too). The surviving summoners will play a part later.

Who cast the Berserk spell is a small ongoing mystery. (The brainwashing is not contained to Baron)

At this point in the story, Rydia is amnesic, and I tried to include some realistic symptoms of that. She is also under the impression that Kain is her previously unmet Dad, who came for her after her mom died, and does not remember the invasion, probably the trauma from it. The “Kain is secretly my dad”  is not revealed until after the Faymarch, because it had no reason to come up, and it's pretty hard to dissuade her of it after she has lived with it for years.

Oh, heres some older notes

-“Honesty, my first attempt went from crack to serious, to crack. Like at the beginning, I decided there's no way the mages should be that easy to defeat, so I decided that a berserk spell had been cast on half of both armies. Of course, it's a pretty chaotic battle between being turned into frogs or pigs , and the fire spells, the mages berserking and everything. So, Calian decides, let's complete the objective, get in, get the crystal, get out.

So once she recalls her troops, she is on the airship, and trying to figure out WTF happened. Of course back home!e, she is responsible, and the king is questioning her competence there. He sends her on a milk run to deliver this ring to some nowhere village in the mountains.

Like in canon, Kain comes along.

Rosa talks to her to try to cheer her up that night.

The next day they go to town. Kain goes shopping, and Callian goes Item hunting. When Kain runs into a crazy dancer fangirl, he jumps off a bridge and finds Calian contemplating a tent in the water.

They decide it would be better to catch a Chocobo. Of course they run into so many goblins there they find a goblin summon. (Ffiv has a ridiculously low drop rate) . Then they set up a tent outside the cave.

The next day, they face the dragon, accidentally kill the summoner. Then they find out the purpose of the ring was to summon bombs on the village. Callin interprets it weirdly...

"It is an Ebalanese ninja plot. I must do what I failed last time and take control of the situation. Command it. Kain, help me evacuate."

So, more villagers survive, but Rydia still summons Titan

The nation of Barron is being taken over by Golbez, who is also possessed. He had the king brainwashed, then disposed of and replaced, and Barron is now making war for crystals of other nations, and bombing the village of summoners, and in cannon Cecil and Kain agreed this is not the king we want to work for. Then they are separated by a magic earthquake, and end up on opposite sides of the mountain.  Cecil is left caring for the child whose mother he inadvertently killed, and Kain is presumably taken back to Barron and brainwashed.

In this one , Kain will be with the kid, and Calian will be back in Barron not brainwashed, (yet,) but loyal and willing for the time. She's a capable captain, and as long as she is loyal to home, well someone needs to lead the army.

Like Cecil, she's friends with Kain and Rosa. Unlike Cecil, Kains group dynamic is changed, because I sort of get the feeling that Cecil let Kain brood too much. Like Kain and Cecil were said to be BFF\Rivals, but the game didn't really show it much. There was a love diagram with Kain crushing on Rosa, who was dating Cecil, so I get the feeling that tension was never properly talked out in Cannon, because Kain kind of behaves like a creep towards her when brainwashed,  and then apparently stays on a mountain for 30 years post game. Some shit needs to be said here.

So yah, different dynamic here

So Cailan takes Cecil's role at first, being captain of the red wings, Kains Rival, and generally regarded as essential for being a knight. She worked hard to get there, and is pretty competitive. Cecil is still around, and will show up later, as a different person with different teachings.

She is loyal to her home country and her troops, and that will get her into trouble and scapegoat in the long run.”

So Cecil. Here Cecil is still a dark knight, who grew up the apprentice of the wandering dark knight whose armor we find around the game, and is mentioned in Fabul. As an apprentice to someone who the dark knight class is a family style, he has a lot more battle techniques and equipment then in game. He is investigating why there are increasingly frequent monster attacks,  and trying to find out why the world is out of balance.

Edward sincerely admires Anna.

Anna and her father have hereditary clairvoyance. It takes a toll on them as they age. 

[megswritingplace]

How Do You Sleep? (Shelby Sister fic)

So, for the first time ever, I’m posting my work on Tumblr as well as AO3. This fic will follow a slightly altered timeline for the Shelby’s, as another Sibling is introduced (and John is still alive). Any thoughts/comments/questions are appreciated. I’m hoping to make this a whole story, but bare with me as writings block is strong atm.

Chapter 1

St Abigail’s School for Girls, Sussex 

“As you know from the letters we sent Mr. Shelby, we had a few tense years to begin with. But, considering her upbringing, that was to be expected,” the woman Tommy was following spoke plainly, unbothered that she had just openly insulted him and his family. He nodded along though, hoping the insult would counteract the fact that he had never read any letter the school had sent him. He never saw the need for the correspondence, it was their job to deal with any problem, and what could he have done from Small Heath anyway? 

“The recent years have shown a remarkable improvement. I would go as far as to say she’s now one of our model students,” the woman continued talking, as she led him down yet another never-ending corridor.  

Her words surprised Tommy greatly. He had hoped he was coming home with an average report at best, even that would have been better than the rest of the Shelby’s put together. Well, except Michael, and possibly Ada, although Tommy knew she only liked to think she was better than her name after living in London for so long. A ‘model student’ was much more than Tommy was expecting, especially when he remembered who he had brought here all those years ago. The thought made him apprehensive to see who he would be taking home this afternoon. If she had changed so drastically, how would she fit back into family dynamic again? 

“I apologise again for not being able to keep her here until her 18th Birthday, but we really need the space back for some of the new girls coming before September. And now she’s officially finished, we can’t legally keep her here. I know you’re a busy man Mr. Shelby, but you’re only her legal guardian for a few more months; and the last I heard there was talk of University,” the woman stated. To Tommy’s ears, she sounded more excited than she had any right to be. University was a word the rest of the family barely knew, it was sure to go down like a led balloon if it was ever brought up.  

Before the woman could add anything else to her one-sided conversation, she finally stopped walking. She had brought them before two large mahogany doors, that looked just as heavy as Tommy’s heart felt in that moment. The two brass knobs attached felt more domineering than anything Tommy had faced in years, including his now frequent trips to Parliament. He would rather face unrelenting Politicians than whoever was waiting for him on the other side of these doors.  

Tommy was able to take one deep breath before the woman pushed the doors open, forcing him to step inside. Tommy took the room in for a moment, finding it similar to his study at home. It felt just as luxurious, and ironically just as fake, as his own. His gaze wandered until it reached the one high-back leather chair facing away from him. From there, his gaze got stuck on the top of the head that was peeking out at him, covered in hair that looked incredibly similar to his own.  

“Alice?” Tommy jumped as the women’s who brought him here spoke, he had forgotten all about her. As she spoke, she began to approach the girl in the chair, whilst Tommy’s feet felt frozen to the ground. “Are you ready to go?” the woman asked with a smile, “Mr. Shelby is here to collect you.” Either the girl in the chair did not answer, or she spoke so softly Tommy could not hear her, but before he could register what was happening, the girl in the chair stood up.  

Tommy held his breath as the girl turned around to face him. He averted his eyes away from her face as soon as she turned, he could not bring himself to look into her eyes just yet. Instead, the first thing he took note of were her hands. Whilst one was cradled loosely in a fist, the other was delicately holding onto a book. With her index finger marking the page she was on, the book was turned so Tommy could read the title. Tommy’s instantly recognised the book and the cover, it was the same copy of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland he had dropped her off with. Based on the tattered look of the spine, Tommy guessed this was not first time she had reread it. A twinge of guilt pierced Tommy at that thought, though he could not explain why.  

Tommy knew he was making the situation more awkward than it needed to be, refusing to look into her eyes, and not even greet her, but something inside was stopping him. In truth, he just did not know what to say, for once. He had spoken to all manner of people over the years, and with his newly attached title, making small talk was an almost daily occurrence to him. But this was different. It was foreign but familiar. The last time he had seen her, she was ten, and did enough talking for the both of them. She could have talked for hours on end, about horses, and playing, and reading. But now, he had no idea what the girl in front of him would want to talk about. She had lived a separate life for the past seven years, alone, independent from the rest of Shelby’s and Small Heath. Another pang of guilt hit Tommy at that thought, though he knew why this time. It felt like the only similarity between now and seven years ago was the book she was holding. 

Tommy knew he had stalled for long enough. He lifted his eyes up, knowing it was time to greet the girl in front of him. However, when their eyes connected, he still found himself at a loss for words. His mind was racing trying to think of something to say. If he could not say something now, how would he cope in drive back to Birmingham? He should have brought John or Arthur, or even little Charlie with him. All three of them would be able to break this silence easily, even just by saying nonsense. Tommy opened his mouth in the hope that some words would fall out, anything would do at this point.  

However, just as he did so, a small smile came across the young girl’s face. For the first time, he noted she had an air of patience around her, a trait he never remembered her possessing before. It felt as though all she was waiting for was for him to finally connect his eyes with hers, because when he did so, she was the one to break the silence.  

“Hello Tommy,” she said in a voice as soft as her smile, something that should have warmed Tommy’s heart, had he not noticed a hard look instantly cross over her eyes. “Long time no see brother.” 

- 

Arrow House, Birmingham 

“Why the fuck are we going to all this effort Pol’?” John complained, watching yet another maid flit about the room, cleaning up non-existent mess. He was exhausted just watching them.  

“Yeah,” Arthur piped in from behind the newspaper he was reading, “it’s not like she’ll notice, she’s the messiest of us all.” 

Polly rolled her eyes at her nephews. Alice did use to be the messiest Shelby, but that was when she was ten, and lived in a house full of men. She had spent the last seven years away from them, learning things the rest of Shelby’s could probably never comprehend. Polly knew the girl making her way back with Tommy was not the same one that left with him, and she was not sure the rest of the family understood that. But they had all changed so drastically, how could they not think she had as well? 

“Need I remind you what school she’s been for the past seven years? Don’t you remember Pearl Higgn’s niece going to St. Abigail’s? She only went for a year, and look how she came back. You shouldn’t be expecting the same wild little ten year old to be walking through those doors later,” Polly knew she sounded harsh, but they had to be told. If they had unrealistic expectations for her, they were sure to be disappointed, and these boys could never hide their expressions well.  

Polly heard Arthur snort from the corner, before mumbling, “oh, we all remember how Pearl’s niece turned out,” making Polly roll her eyes.  

“Come on Pol,” John started, “even at ten, she had the most gypsy blood out of all of us. Running around the streets barefoot and filthy. Even Tommy couldn’t stop her most of the time. Do you really think the years could get that out of her?” 

Polly shook her head at John’s naiivity. Despite everything they had seen and experienced, the Shelby boys still held onto hope that their sister would come back to them just as innocent and sweet as when she left. Polly knew better though. Even if she had been in Small Heath, Alice would not have stayed innocent for long, but at least they would have experienced it first-hand and known why. Now though, seven years of mystery stood between them, and who knew what had happened to her in that time? And if Polly knew one thing, she knew the years at that school would have definitely got the gypsy spirit out of her, by whatever means necessary.