#and the back half of that episode sucks ass

[thedreadvampy]

It's damning with faint praise to say that this season is Moffat's best because I think out of 11 episodes there were 7 I enjoyed and 4 I would say were genuinely good (Smile, Oxygen, and the Cybermen 2-parter)

but despite how much several of them had me cursing the TV, there were at least elements of every episode I genuinely really had fun with and wanted to keep watching. we watched this season in 3 sittings. I think it took me a full 18 months to get through one of the Matt Smith seasons because they were such fucking slogs.

Peter Capaldi is a lot of fun but I genuinely think most of the credit goes to Pearl Mackie because having an actually likeable and engaging companion really changes the game. The first two Capaldi seasons had their moments and definitely moved away from the godawful Cinematic Epic thing Smith's run devolved into and leant more into having fun with it, but it was still a slog and it was a slog because Jenna Coleman, Alex Kingston and Maisie Williams all just made me fucking crave death every minute they were on screen, the amount I could not care less practically caused me to collapse in on myself. But Bill and Nardole are really fun, they've got personality and chemistry and screen presence that makes up for the fact that the episode plots are still kind of incoherent.

The political and philosophical underpinnings of Moffat's work continue to be both really There and really really really shitty. but this is the most fun I remember having had with Doctor Who since Eleventh Hour, back when I still had hope that the Moffat era would bang.

I just don't know why, after finishing it Really Well, Moffat reaffirmed his commitment to ending on a damp squib by literally adding a whole episode just to jack off in.

so me and Sam FINALLY watched the last season of Capaldi's Who

and tell me how, after literally over a decade and for perhaps the first time in his fucking career, Steven Moffat wrote a not just tolerable but really actually good two-parter and fully stuck the landing. like the editing and pacing were still a bit off but the storyline was original, fun, interesting and emotionally invested, and most importantly, rather than ending on a damp fart or the most furious autofellatio in history, the final part didn't fumble it and ended in a way that felt emotionally satisfying and like it made sense for the characters. like the last time he successfully wrapped up a multiparter in a way that didn't feel cheap and hollowly disappointing to me was literally The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances, and a) that was in 2005 and b) tbh The Doctor Dances is about a tenth as compelling and memorable as The Empty Child.

so after 12 years of either hackery or great ideas that fall apart in the second act, Steven Moffat writes what I would genuinely consider to be a memorable Good Doctor Who serial. it ends with bittersweet pathos, a solid closer for all the main characters, and sends Moffat's showrunning career out on a genuine high despite failing ratings and budget cuts (and the fact Doctor Who hasn't been consistently good since about 2009). good job Steve. with grudging respect I admit you pulled it out of the bag on this one.

wait what's this there's one more episode left? and it stars Mark Gatiss? and you literally spend the whole episode inexplicably just shitting all over the legacy of Doctor Who by inventing a version of the First Doctor that bears literally no resemblance to the character that William Hartnell actually played, just so you can spend the whole episode saying misogynistic things to run yourself off to how much more Totally Feminist your version was than the version you made up in your head of what Doctor Who was like in the 60s? and it added literally nothing to the season except to take all the wind out of the sails of the actually good finale you already wrote?

even when he writes a good episode this fucker still finds ways to disappoint me.

[bootyful-seventeen]

Okay maybe it’s my frontal lobe developing on speed run rn but a lot of English speaking subbed anime fans are saying some ableist ass shit when talking about how much they hate dubbed anime

[bambino1294]

fuckin love having a shitty year and a useless ass uni

[cherry-cola-on-ice]

Slashers with a sleepwalking s/o

AN: totally based off my personal experiences sleepwalking lol asked my friends and family what their favorite sleepwalking episode was.

Jason Voorhees 🏕

Jason is already paranoid AF about you unknowingly wandering into a trap during the day.

But the first time he comes across you in the woods at night? When you should be asleep?

He is not a happy man. Many thoughts run through his mind. Are you trying to leave him? Trying to get yourself hurt? Would you rather die then be with him?

It takes him a good while and a lot of explaining for him to understand what's happening. That your not intentionally doing this. Science shit™️

He sets up a system. Maybe a bell or two. Something loud to let him know where you are. Maybe some trip wires.

Strangest thing he's seen you do: He watched you eat a entire sleeve of saltines while standing in the shower.

Michael Myers 🎃

Michael's seen some shit. So this is nothing. All those years in Smiths Grove have prepared him for this. So you sleepwalk? Cool, his neighbor at Smiths Grove used to eat cockroachs.

That being said, the closer you're relationship grows, the more worried he becomes. What if you fall down the stairs? What if you wander into the road? What if, what if, what if??

He doesn't have the foresight to set up traps, like Jason does.

Uses his fucked up sleep schedule to his advantage and often stands over your sleeping body. Jumpscare.

Will definitely tie a bell on you while you sleep. Totally not a collar what are you saying? Don't make it kinky.

The strangest thing he's seen you do: Put all of the remotes in the refrigerator because they needed batteries.

Thomas Hewitt 🥩

Poor sweet man. You're going to give him a heart attack one of these days.

However, he's probably one of the more better prepared of the lot. His house is set up to keep people in and out. So there isn't much danger you can get into.

Unless he forgets to lock up the basement. Which has happened once. And only once. You were fairly unharmed if not a little traumatized.

Has taken to locking your bedroom door. Also installs like 10 latches. AND puts a bell on the doorknob. And maybe sometimes you.

Look, he's already scared of losing you to somebody else, he doesn't want to have to worry him losing you to you.

Strangest thing he's seen you do: Him, Monty and Hoyt sat and watched you stand in front of the sink for a hour and a half. Just standing there. Menacingly

Brahms Heelshire 🐀

Oh, poor baby is confused. Especially at the start of your situation-ship. You don't know he's there, you just think you're babysitting a doll for a sad old couple. Not their grown ass son who lives in the walls.

The first time Brahms finds you sleepwalking, he's pissed. You trying to leave him, he knows you are. But... did you just snore?? Wait, you're asleep. He feels a little better about the situation.

Until you start walking towards the stairs. Boy's never moved so fast in his life. He knows if he wakes you up it's game over. So he gives you a gentle nudge back to your room.

Now after you find about the rat man in the walls, things are different. Brahms, even in the deepest REM cycle, will never let you go. Man is a koala and you are the tree he's clinging to for dear life. It's almost impossible to escape his arms at night.

Almost makes you sleep in the walls instead of the bedroom so you're safer. Like ain't no way you're getting out of those without him waking up.

Strangest thing he's seen you do: Sat up in bed, complaining about the maracas in your mouth??? He cried.

Billy Lenz 🎄

World's worst caretaker 👑

Especially before yall start dating because, at that point in time, he's still trying to decide if he wants to kill you. He won't lie, he very briefly thought about pushing you down the stairs.

But? After you win him over? Yeah still kinda sucks ass at keeping you from hurting yourself. He'll keep you alive, mind you, just a little worse for wear.

He asked you once if he could tie you down in bed. You didn't like the look in his eyes so you declined. Billy pouted for the next three days.

TBH he might do it anyways. Look he's just trying to keep your silly little self safe, S/O. Get your mind out of the gutter. Haha, jk...unless 😏?

The strangest thing he's seen you do is eat a entire bag of gummy bears while standing outside. He joined you.

Vincent Sinclair 🖌

Another prepared king 👑

His workshop is dangerous. Upstairs is dangerous. The whole town is health code violation. And bby cannot stand the idea of you hurting yourself.

But other then the constant anxiety that you'll some how end up falling off the stairs or falling into the wax or the any other number of things his brain comes up with, he's very level-headed.

Child safety locks. He buys that shit in bulk.

But hey, gives him a excuse to hold you at night. (Vincent, they're literally your s/o)

The strangest thing he's seen you do is stand over Bo's bed, chanting tomato. Bo almost cried.

Bo Sinclair 🔧

Definition of "Look at that idiot...oh wait that's my idiot!"

Honestly, probably the worst. Not like 'let's you just walk around' worst, but more like 'Imma gonna chain you to the bed' worst.

Dude's so scared of losing you, pretty much the best thing that ever happened to him, that his willing to go to drastic matters to keep you safe.

Don't try to explain the science behind it, you'll only give him a migraine. Just let him keep you safe. K, bby?

Bo's gonna lose sleep some nights, he's that scared. No doubt you will wake up to the feeling of someone watching you. Just comfort him, ok?

Strangest thing he's seen you do is sit up in bed and start singing 'Livin La Vida Loca'

Asa Emory 🪲

Number one prepared king™️

I'm not saying he may or may not, kinda sorta perhaps placed cameras around your living situation before you two even began dating. But yeah he did.

So he knows all about the crazy shenanigans you are up to at night.

He reads the books, watching online lectures 👏all👏the👏research. You can bet your sweet ass he knows exactly how to wake you up in case of emergency.

In the same breath, despite how much he does love you, science. Prepare to be studied like a bug under a microscope.

Strangest thing he's seen you do is standing with the refrigerator doors open, telling him how much you love this show.

Norman Bates 🚿

My poor sweet innocent murder bby. He doesn't know what to do.

Yeah, keep you safe, he's got that much down. But at what cost?

The hotel looks like a a daycare center now. Baby proofing everywhere (ask him about getting locked out of the bathroom, it's funny)

Suggested a collar once as a joke, wasn't expecting you to agree. Got flustered. Dropped his cup, maybe got a bone.

Another koala sleeper, so good luck escaping his embrace. Will go as far as following you to the bathroom to make sure you're actually awake.

Strangest thing he's seen you do is sit down in a fake potted plant in the living room and talk about dinosaurs.

[gaybananabread]

✦༻Spoilers༺✦

~This has been in the back of my mind since the movie came out; the time has come. I’m making progress with TickleTober, so enjoy this meal in the meantime! There’s probably more than a hint of shipping in here, but you don’t have to read it like that if you don’t want to. I hope you Enjoy!~

Lee: Wade Wilson

Ler: Logan Howlett

Summary: Logan is struggling to get used to living with Wade; he has a limit for Wade’s bullshit. The merc loves pushing him to that limit regularly. Logan uses an unconventional method to shut his smartass roommate up.

Warnings: canon-typical language and jokes, spoilers for Deadpool & Wolverine and Golden Girls (you’ll see). This is a tickle fic, so if you don’t like that, scroll away!!

I’ve finally done it: the ultimate team-up turned homo-erotic-roommates-story. And, ya know, saving my entire timeline; mainly the Logan stuff, though.

Wade had been incredibly happy since they’d saved the existence of his timeline. He was showering regularly, disposed of that horrid “toupee,” and started actually talking to the people in his life about how he felt. It kinda sucked, but hey – character development isn’t always sexy.

Things were going splendidly for the merc with a mouth.

Logan, on the other hand, was slowly going insane.

The Wolverine was grateful for the place to stay, of course; hell, he felt more at home than he had in years. The problem was how…Wade Wade had been acting.

Logan secretly admired how openly true to himself Wade could be; I mean, the guy literally said whatever came to his mind, no matter what. Then again, the guy literally said whatever came to his mind. No matter what.

Even if that thought completely spoiled something for Logan.

“Hey, Peanut! As much as I love that juicy ass, I’m gonna need you to get outta my spot.” Wade flicked his wrist at the eX-Man, beckoning for him to get up. Logan had been there for about twenty minutes, and there was no way he was moving; the episode of Golden Girls he was watching wasn’t finished yet. The man rarely got time to rest like that, savoring every half hour he got with the television like it was holy.

“I’ve been here, bub. Wait your turn.” Logan didn’t even blink, leaning to the side so he could still see the screen. He was gonna finish that episode, damn it.

“Ooo, is that ‘End of the Curse’?” Wade hums, taking a closer look at the screen. Logan wasn’t very far into the episode. “Turns out it’s just menopause, not pregnancy. Man, nothing wakes you up like an existential crisis and skinned minks.”

A low growl rumbled in Logan’s throat, his eyes narrowing dangerously. Ooooo, Wade fucked uuup…

“Did you just spoil the ending to my Golden Girls episode?” The livid tone of his roommate’s voice made Wade’s smile grow nervous.

It’s cool, it’s fine. All I gotta do is nail this recovery. Read and learn, people.

“At least I didn’t tell you that the whole Rose and Miles Webber thing doesn’t work out.”

Fuck. This is why you don’t stare at your roommate’s moobs while trying to save yourself, kids.

“You motherf- WADE !” Logan bolted up from his chair, charging at the blemish-skinned man. Wade made his first smart decision that entire morning:

He ran for his fucking life.

But, of course, luck refused to be on the red-suited man’s side. Wade tripped over one of Mary Puppin’s toys outside his room, Logan’s large hands quickly hoisting him up by the waist. Before he could fantasize anything, he was slammed down on his bed. Which, of course, opened up a whole new realm to dig his own grave in.

“Damn, Peanut! It’s customary to take me to dinner first, but you know I don’t mind gettin’ sloppy~” Okay, that was a little cliché. Wasted opportunity, Wilson.

Logan seemed pissed regardless. “You fucking ruined the one relaxing thing I get to do a week when Al’s out. Do you know how hard it is to enjoy a show when you know what’s gonna happen?!”

As entertaining as seeing Wade squirm beneath him was, Logan wanted revenge. He normally would’ve skewered the smartass, but Al was getting sick of smelling Wade’s blood whenever she left for a few hours. That, and he may or may not have gotten some blood on the couch (don’t tell her).

What else could he do? He wanted Wade to suffer, to regret his actions, to shut up for one in his god-forsaken existence. The only times he could remember that happened was when he was asleep, and when he was…oh. Ohoho, fuck yes.

“You’re gonna learn to shut that gaping, bottomless shithole you call a mouth, Wade, and you’re gonna learn it the hard way.”

“I do everything the hard way, Peanu- yeEEAHAHA! THEHE FUHAHAHACK?!” Before Wade could finish proving Logan’s point yet again, he felt ten muscular fingers knead into his thighs. It was – ironic, he knew – his death spot.

Now, imagine trying to explain why you’re smiling so much when someone’s grabbing at your thighs without stuttering. Spoiler alert: it’s torture.

“You can’t mouth off if you’re too busy laughing, fuckhead. Now shut up and scream for me.” Logan squeezed and squished at the merc's thighs, doing his best to tickle the shit out of him.

“Y-YOUHU CAHAN'T- FUHUHUHUCK! NOHOHO!” Wade tried and failed to speak through his laughter, his head reeling from the intense feeling. For the first time in many moons, the Merc with a Mouth was rendered speechless.

“I can’t fuck? Really? Bold ass statement to make when you’re at my mercy.” Logan’s more playful side was slipping out; how could it not with Wade’s goofy-ass laughter egging him on? Seriously, how could anyone expect him to act like a hard-ass with the man making such purposefully adorable noises?

“NOHOHOT WHAHAHAT IHI MEHEHEANT!” Kicking and squirming, the scarred man was quickly realizing he couldn’t talk his way out of the situation. They were matched in strength, but the tickling quickly un-evened the playing field. Maybe pleading for his life?

“COHOHOME OHOHON! I-IHI’LL QUIHIHIT!”

Logan paused for just a moment, his hands still resting on Wade’s hips. He was…actually gonna stop being a loudmouth? While he didn’t believe a word of that, he still wanted to take things a bit easier on the man; damn feelings…

Slowing down, the Wolverine moved his wiggling fingers to Wade’s stomach. Compared to his thighs, it was a decently tolerable spot; still, it fucking tickled.

“Wohoholvie, thihis is nuhuhuts! Ahand not thehe hohot kihihind!” Okay, maybe he immediately proved himself a liar, but Logan didn’t exactly quit! He was sort of justified, in that sense.

“You never learn, do ya?” There’s an air of amusement and affection in his voice that shocks the both of them. Logan immediately tries to correct it, clearing his throat with a glare. “Stubborn asshole. It’s a bad idea to taunt me when you’re this fucking ticklish.”

“Th-thihihis ihihisn’t fahahahair! Youhuhu’re thehe Tumblr bahahabygirl, nohot mehehe! Youhu shouhuhuld be gehehtting ihit!”

“The fuck is a Tumblr babygirl?” Logan snorted at the silly-sounding words, once again trying to figure out what the hell his roommate was talking about.

“Thehehey knohohow!” Wade pointed towards some unseeable audience, making the hairy man roll his eyes. He seriously needed to get Wade tested for something; it would probably explain so much.

“Do you want me to go back to your thighs?” Logan jerked his hands down threateningly, reveling in the squeal the motion causes. He didn’t even touch the other man that time; it was kinda cute.

“NOOOHOhohooo! Dihickhead!” Without thinking, Wade thrusted his arms out and shoved at Logan’s shoulders. Obviously, the brick wall of a man didn’t move, but his attention was drawn to a specific nuisance: the merc’s arms. Specifically, the fact that he hadn’t explored beneath them yet.

Gathering the mouthy man’s wrists in one hand, Logan forced Wade’s arms up and pinned them to the mattress. Once again, Wade was faced with a tough decision: smart off and completely fuck himself, or grovel and hope for some mercy.

Eh, smart choices are plot killers. This one’s for you, dear reader.

“Y-youhuhu’re really ehembracing your dark side, Peanut~ Next thing ya knowhow, I’m gonna be getting fitted for thohose fuzzy cuffs and a harn- FFFAAHAHAHAAA! OHO- OHOHOKAHAHAY! IHI’M SOHOHORRY! IHIT WAS THEHEHERE!”

Logan showed zero mercy, digging into Wade’s underarm with renewed vigor. He switched back and forth every few seconds, right to left, wrecking the man as thoroughly as possible. The man’s thighs were definitely still his death spot, but his armpits were a close second.

“You don’t act like you’re sorry, ya shithead.” There was a lot less contempt in Logan’s tone than Wade was expecting; he couldn’t exactly comment on it, but the Wolverine seemed almost happy that he had chosen to prolong his torment by being a smartass.

Wade, on the other hand, was going through it; a vibrant blush had taken residence on his cheeks, little tears of mirth showing up for the housewarming party. Worst of all, his exhaustion forced his muscles to relax, allowing snorts to catch in his throat.

“Damn, Wilson. Goin’ hog wild down there, huh?” Wade’s heart would’ve stopped right then if it were possible. Logan “Go Fuck Yourself” Howlett…made a dad joke?!

“Y-YOUHUHU MAHAHDE A JOHOHOHOKE! IHI’M SOHOHO PROUHUHUD!”

“Fuckin’ Christ, just shut up already!” Embarrassed from both the acknowledgement and praise, Logan dug back into Wade’s thigh to silence him; well, keep him from talking by means of hysterical laughter.

About two minutes into getting his thighs attacked by the kitty man, Wade was rethinking all his life choices that led him there. I mean, he obviously wouldn’t do anything different if he actually had the chance to, but there were some regrets. His laugh was growing raspy, a few wheezes slipping in with the snorts as he struggled to catch his breath.

Logan noticed how tired Wade was getting almost instantly. The man hadn’t smarted off in a hot second, so he figured it was time to stop; definitely not because he was taking it easy on Wade or something stupid like that…

The moment the tickles stopped, Wade drew in deep, giggle-ridden breaths as he tried to calm down. He barely noticed his wrists’ release, too tired to lower his arms anyway. It was, admittedly, an utterly adorable sight.

Noticing he was still literally straddling the anti-hero, Logan climbed off and went to grab Wade some water. When he got back to the bedroom, the merc had curled up on his side, a blanket hap-hazardly tugged over him. The eX-man rolled his eyes at the sight, turning the man to face him.

“Here, drink this.”

Despite sticking his tongue out, Wade greedily gulped down the water. His textured cheeks were still a healthy red from the tickling, the ice water both soothing his throat and cooling him off.

“Thanks, Kitty.”

“Just take a nap or somethin’, bub.” Rolling his eyes at the statement, Logan turned and trudged out of the room; neither missed the light blush on his cheeks from the nickname.

Wade settled back into his bed, sighing at the ceiling. Despite everything, he was actually going to try and improve on his spoiling restraint; he kinda deserved what came to him, even if it was totally overkill.

As for the tickling…well, it wasn’t the worst thing in the world. Logan could’ve cut his vocal chords or sliced his head off in the tub, but he didn’t; the man just did something silly and lighthearted to drill the lesson into his brain. It was curious, in a sense; why would he choose to be lenient with the loudmouth?

It definitely deserved some looking at, to say the least.

Maybe I’ll insult his mutton chops tomorrow. Ya know, for research purposes…

[toram-toram]

Okay I have a little idea on sleazy tallman chilchuck

Im just gonna say, the changing shrooms + tallman chilchuck and half-foot you (reader?)

idk big dick/small hole

•Anon, after the changing mushrooms episode that's all I could think of.

•I want this man to lift me by the armpits, press my back against a wall, put my legs over his shoulders and eat me out.

•And you KNOW HES PACKING.

Chilchuck x GN Reader

Size difference, pervert old man, multiple orgasms, oral sex, fingering

In order to make it fit (at least most of it inside), he has to make you cum at least once, to make you relaxed, open and ready.

But of course, Chilchuck wants to make you cum at least 2/3 times before finally putting his dick inside you.

He first eats you out with his much larger mouth and tongue that swallows your most sensitive area.

"HmmMmMMm~~~"

His moans reverberate through your organs and the vibration makes you closer and closer to the edge.

One of his hands is on your waist and it holds your entire body weight as he's inhaling your scent with much frustration due to his weaker senses. That's probably the only thing he hates about this body right now.

He completely devours you in a span of minutes.

And after tongue fucking/sucking you off until you cum, he lays you down and crawls on top of you. Caressing your body and admiring how beautiful you look as a half foot.

His dominant hand goes down and reaches your overstimulated and drenched hole, then, using the palm of his hand, he put some delicious pressure over it, his skin feels like fire as it's touching your nerves. And when he starts to rub it against you, it feels like heaven, and you have to spend the next 7/10 minutes begging for him to fuck you.

He could have make it you beg more, but he wasn't a monster! You were asking him so desperately! Poor thing... If you needed his finger inside your pretty little hole, he would gladly give it to you!

But only one.

He will fuck you hard and fast with one finger. And he won't listen to your spoiled comments about how it's not enough.

Spoiled brat.

You're going to drench his entire hand and forearm with your juices with one finger and that's it. No more. No less.

And that's exactly what you do.

He's so proud of you. See? One finger WAS enough.

Now it's time for the real deal.

Truth is, Chilchuck didn't want it to open you up so much before that. He wants to spread you open with his cock. To almost tear you up in half. To feel your extremely tight walls against him, clenching and spasming around him. That's what he truly wants.

So he asks you to get on your hands and knees and easily spreads your ass cheeks with his thumbs to get a better view of your pretty and spent hole. He aligns his red swallowed head with it and slowly slides it in.

"Oooooohhhh.... fffuuuuuckk"

He needs to control the amount of strength he's using to squeeze your ass otherwise things would get ugly.

It feels impossible to slide in.

Just like how it feels impossible to breathe right now.

It's too much. Too little. Too tight.

But with short and controlled thrusts, he's able to go deeper and deeper.

He watches his cock going back and forth and inside your much much smaller entrance with excitement and surprise.

"Holy shit sweetheart... I wish you could see this... I never thought it would fit in."

However, it doesn't fit all in.

But Chilchuck is sure that, in many more opportunities in the future, your body would be more accustomed to it. So it's probable that you will be able to take the other half in future attempts.

He'll make sure you will.

Eventually you're relaxed enough, and he's able to easily slide in and out inside you. The sensation leaves you speechless.

Mouth open wide and eyes rolled back like you've been possessed.

Your entire skin feels like fire and your drool and juices coming out of you burns like lava.

You only start to make incomprehensible noises when you're once again close to cumming.

"What is it, sweetheart? Already close?"

Your brain feels like mush, words are not forming on your lips, instead you're almost growling by how ragged your moans sound.

You start to move your hips to meet his dick and he chokes out a moan.

"Fucking hell, kid... you're going to be the death of me."

His speed increases and you can feel his cock somehow going deeper to the point it hurts, but somehow it feels so good.

"Oh my god,baby, you're taking me so well. Holy shit, I'm... going to tear you apart... do you want me to do that?"

"yyyeEeEeeeesssssssspleasepleaseplease"

Your brain automatically responds and it affects so much Chilchuck that he's already about to cum.

"Going to... fill you to the brim"

He speed increases and your body starts convulsing, muscles failing on you as you almost faints.

Vision goes white as you lay face on the floor, cumming so hard, so much, it almost feels like your peeing.

Chilchuck follows though as he thrusts inside you one last time and milks himself inside your tight hole.

He loses balance but catches himself before crashing in top of you.

~~~~

He looks at the state of both of your bodies as he desperately catches his breath.

"Hey... you alive?"

You don't respond.

He pulls his hips out of you and as soon as you're empty, his cum flows freely and travels down to your legs.

And it's a vision to behold.

He reaches for your ribcage with trembling hands and lifts you up, putting you sitting on his lap, back facing his chest. Ignoring the fact that you're completely filthy at the moment.

Okay that's a lie, he doesn't ignore it, in fact, he's paying much attention to it.

Because it gives him such an amazing sense of accomplishment and pride.

He loves the fact that you're completely drenched, spent and tired.

You took him marvelously.

You're so perfect for him...

Since both of you are incapable of getting up, Chilchuck moves your hair out of your ears, and gently starts to suck on it, knowing how good it feels for a half foot.

"You were so good, I'm so proud of you."

------------//--------------

•Sorry it took me longer to respond! As you can see I spend a good amount of time writing and editing but I hope it was worth the wait!

•Also fun fact, a day after this request, another lovely anon sent me such a similar prompt!! It's so nice that we all share the same brain cell lol💚

[honey-crypt]

could i possibly get a fic about sebastian helping adhd!farmer through their rejection dysphoria? i leave the rest up to you, go wild <3

- 🪩

★ like the stream - sebastian x adhd!farmer ★

word count: 1.5k

warnings: rejection sensitivity dysphoria episode

summary: it's the day of the flower dance! you're prepared to ask your friend sam to be your dance partner when you're met face to face with a kind but otherwise hard rejection from the other party. Unable to cope with the rejection because of your RSD, you find yourself spiraling when another friend of yours, Sebastian, finds you alone and distressed in the depths of Cindersap Forest.

a/n: hi hi request #2 for my write-a-thon! hope this is an okay fic, i made sure to do some research on rsd and adhd (beyond my personal knowledge of it) for this fic :D

Today had to be perfect. 

That was what you repeated to yourself, as you made your way towards Cindersap Forest for the Flower Dance. You double, even triple, checked that you had everything ready for today. It may have taken two or ten sticky note reminders, but you knew that everything was in the right place. Your outfit? Check. Your flowers? Check. Your confidence to ask Sam to be your dance partner? Check!

As you got closer and closer, the sound of upbeat classical music grew louder and louder. They should really install a better alternative to this, I don’t know George crosses this, you thought to yourself while crossing the bridge over to the festival. An open green space greeted you with the residents of Pelican Town scattered about. You exchanged pleasantries with your fellow townies, making a beeline to your friend group by a secluded corner of the festival. 

“Hey (Y/N)!” Abigail gave you a small, half salute, “Didn’t think you were going to make it.”

“I lost track of time,” you confessed, “Nonetheless, I made it!”

Your two other friends, Sam and Sebastian, paused their side conversation at mention of your arrival. Sam offered you a dazzling smile that made your heart flutter, “(Y/N)! Good to see you!” and, much to your disappointment, he gave you a friendly side hug. You forced a smile in return and responded, “Yeah, for sure. I’m just glad I made it before the dance started.”

“Would’ve sucked ass if you missed it,” mused Abigail. Sebastian didn’t respond, staring silently at you. A frown graced your lips, What’s his deal? you questioned. Your chest, however, had a different reaction, tightening up at the sight of Sebastian’s deadpan. He’s probably just having a bad day, you reassured yourself, He’s not mad at you. He’s not mad at you. 

“I’m gonna grab some of Gus’s drinks,” you perked up at Sam’s voice, “You guys got a preference for what?”

“Ooo, get me the Tulip Jubilee,” requested Abigail.

“The Blue Jazz Drop for me,” you eyed Sebastian when he spoke up. Sam looked at you expectantly, “How about you, (Y/N)?”

“Oh, uhhhhh…” you mentally thumbed through your options, “No preference, just grab me something you think I’ll like,” you adjusted your collar with your free hand, “I trust your judgement.”

“Will do!” Sam responded with a double thumbs up before leaving for the food and drinks table. You let out a deep sigh and fiddled with the flower in your hand, a small but homegrown tulip. Abigail quirked an eyebrow up at you, “Something on your mind?”

“Oh! Well,” you cleared your throat, “Just thinking about the dance.”

“Fingers crossed that you don’t have to dance with Clint like last year,” snorted the purple-haired goth. You grimaced at the memory and scanned the crowd for the aforementioned blacksmith, seeing him talk poor Emily’s ear off, “Anyone but him,” you grumbled.

“Which reminds me,” your friend directed her attention to Sebastian, “Dance partners this year?” to which the black-haired boy nodded quietly. You stared at him with narrowed eyes, Why are you so quiet today?

“Back with the drinks!” your blonde friend announced to the group, two drinks in hand and two held tight against his chest. Sam passed out the drinks and informed you, “I got you the Sunflower Tonic.”

You pressed your lips against the cup and took a sip, the sweetness of the drink evident, “This is good,” you let your friends know.

“Ew, mine’s too sour,” sighed Abigail, her lips puckered. She held her drink towards the group, “Any takers?”

“I’ll try it,” answered Sam. He grabbed the drink and sipped it, his face grimacing, “Yikes. Too sour,” before handing it in front of you, “Want a taste?”

You felt flushed at the idea of sipping the drink after Sam and seized the opportunity, accidentally taking a big swing of it. Immediately, you gagged at the taste, “Ugh! My tongue!” and spat out what little liquid was left in your mouth. Sebastian finally took the drink and drank it without any sign of sourness on his face, “Yeah, this is bad,” he stated, “I’ll stick with my drink,” the emo resumed his Blue Jazz Drop. 

“Ladies and gentlemen!” Mayor Lewis’s voice echoed awkwardly through his microphone, “The Flower Dance will begin shortly! Last chance to find yourself a partner!”

You heard the man, this is your last chance! you grasped your flower and waited until Abigail and Sebastian went ahead to pull Sam aside, “Hey Sam, can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, what’s up?” Yoba, his sunshine demeanor was too much. 

“Would you like to be my partner for the dance?” you held up the tulip. Sam’s sunshine self dimmed into a clouded version, “Oh, (Y/N), but Penny asked me to dance while I was getting the drinks. I’m really sorry.”

The sound of your world cracking rang through your ears, as you stood motionless in front of Sam, “Oh! I, uh…” tears pricked at your eyes, “I gotta go.”

Your surroundings began to blur and any outside noise turned into static, as you made your escape from the Flower Dance and deeper into Cindersap Forest. The bum bum of your heart and the swoosh of your blood pounded against your head. 

I hate him.

He hates me.

No, he just made a promise!

No, he thinks you’re the worst!

It was like being trapped on a carousel, your thoughts and emotions spinning around and around. Soon, you found yourself by a small stream, laying on the ground by it with sprawled out limbs. Tears rushed down your face and you heaved dryly, as your brain failed to comprehend Sam’s words and intent.

Oh, (Y/N), but Penny asked me to dance while I was getting the drinks. I’m really sorry.

You sat up, nearly flinging yourself forward towards the stream, and started to bite at your nails, “He hates me. He hates me. I hate myself. I hate myself. I-”

“(Y/N)?” 

You jerked your head to the left, Sebastian standing a few feet away from you. As he approached you, you hastily wiped your face with your sleeve, tears and snot staining the fabric, “Leave me alone,” you sniffled.

“(Y/N), what’s wrong?” he asked you, sitting down beside you with his knees to his chest. The tears resumed and coated your cheeks in the salty liquid, “I hate myself, okay?! I fucking hate myself, Sebastian!”

Sebastian tilted his head in confusion, “Why do you hate yourself?”

“Because I’m obviously such an awful person that Sam doesn’t want anything to do with me!” you cried out. Your friend frowned deeply, “(Y/N), you know that Sam usually dances with Penny at the Flower Dance.”

That made your blood steam, “I wanted it to be DIFFERENT, Sebastian! I wanted him to dance with me!” you heaved at Sebastian. He fell silent and fished out something from his suit pocket, a red tangle fidget. Your friend let it out to you and you snatched it without hesitation, fidgeting with it while you sobbed. You tried to get back to reality, but with each passing moment, the idea of returning to the present grew farther and farther away. Everything was hurting, your mind and your body, everything was hurting so much.

“I’m sorry that you’re hurting,” whispered Sebastian. You looked at him with watery eyes, “I can’t control this,” you admitted. He nodded quietly and held out a hand, to which you grasped and squeezed. Sebastian continued, “I know that these kinda things are a lot for you. I know that your mind is telling you a lot of awful stuff right now because of what Sam said, huh?”

“Yeah…” you squeezed his hand again. Sebastian added on, “I didn’t mean to watch, but I accidentally saw the whole situation go down. Sam looked upset when you ran away.”

“Well, he can shove,” you grumbled. Sebastian snorted and retorted, “He’s the one who wanted to check on you, but I told him that you seeing him while you’re in a RSD episode wouldn’t be that helpful.”

You moved closer to Sebastian and laid your head against his shoulders, “I hate my brain.”

“I get it, you’re not alone,” hummed the emo, “Isn’t this stream pretty, though?” he redirected your focus on the stream, the gentle rush of water humming against the swaying trees, “Maybe, just for a second, we can be like the stream.”

You closed your eyes and focused on the sound of the stream, envisioning yourself as one with the water. A sense of peace washed over you and you exhaled, still picturing yourself as the stream. It felt like an hour or so went by before you opened your eyes again, “I’m the stream,” you stated to Sebastian. 

“You’re the stream,” he repeated back, holding you close, “You’re the stream," your heartbeat and breathing returned to normal.

"I'm the stream."

[spxllcxstxr]

Fair Winds and Following Seas • R.R

(Gif not mine)

Request: That Roman soulmate fic was sooo good 😭😭😭 argfhh biting my pillow rn. May I request a scene rewrite of your choice of them already in an established relationship? They’d have cute bickering and lots of casual physical contact all the time. Maybe theyre on a yacht together like that one episode and theyre just so intertwined all the time that its hard to tell where roman ends and reader starts 😣-- anon

Summary: Roman seems to like casual intimacy, even in front of his family

Warnings: fem!reader (she/her pronouns used), based on 2x10 “this is not for tears,” established relationship, alcohol, ken suicide joke (one line, nbd), roman jokingly calls something 'domestic abuse' it certainly is NOT that, normal Roman shenanigans

Word Count: 1.1k

A.N: guys, I usually write fantasy so this dialogue may just suck ass im SORRY LMAO, lemme know what you think!!! Hope you guys enjoy! Roman is so bbg

•

The Mediterranean sun warms your exposed skin while the sea breeze keeps you from getting uncomfortably hot. The Roy's certainly knew how to take a vacation.

Roman lazily drapes his arm over your shoulders, the small act of casual intimacy in front of his siblings something you still can't really get used to just yet. The family, you learned pretty quickly, was not a clingy one, so Roman's constant need to be touching you in some way in front of them was unexpected.

You sigh happily at his side, ignoring the boring work talk the siblings had already immersed themselves in.

The weather was just too divine for you to focus on anything other than the free vacation and your boyfriend.

Shiv's piercing blue eyes peer curiously over her dark sunglasses. Her gaze causes you to straighten your back and shift ever so slightly away from Roman. You've noticed that her and Tom were never exactly touchy, but then again her and Tom were barely a loving couple.

The harsh scrutiny of her stare doesn't go unnoticed by Roman, who immediately pulls you back closer to him. Your cheeks flush at his blatant display of affection.

"Something the matter, Siobhan?" Roman asks, his voice slightly higher than usual with a British twang to it. His fingers absentmindedly trace odd shapes across your back. He sips at his cocktail, eyebrows raised waiting for her retort.

Shiv’s intense gaze slowly slides over to Kendall. Their older brother offers your group a half-assed shrug.

"Nothing at all, Roman." She offers you both a tight-lipped smile, swirling her white wine in front of her.

Awkwardly you lean back into him as he sarcastically grumbles something under his breath, unconvinced. Roman’s body in tense beside you, but stays firmly pressed next to your own.

Sounds of waves crashing against the yacht and distant conversations almost lure you to sleep though the three sibling’s chatter keeps you just conscious enough that you don’t completely drift off.

You hear Kendall get up from his seat, his joints popping.

"I'm gunna go check on dad," He says, voice low though he knows you're not actually asleep. "I'll catch you guys later."

"Just don't jump off the boat, Ken. We're not turning the ship around just for your old-ass." Roman jokes before yelping at Shiv's slap to the shoulder.

You hide your tiny grin with a fake yawn.

"Very funny, Rome," Ken mutters before leaving the three of you.

It's awkward, just the three of you alone; the tension is so thick it could be cut with a knife. Shiv clears her throat and you can only imagine the patronizing look she has on her face. Roman shifts, and most likely flips her off, but otherwise he's silent.

Moments later you hear the thud of expensive yet tacky yachting shoes against the floorboards, which could only mean Tom.

"Shiv, uh," The man stutters, obviously distracted by something. Slowly you open an eye, peering over at the man. "Why don't we go and uh, discuss that thing from before, huh?"

Tom's eyes can barely settle on one thing, he looks between you and Roman before only briefly settling on his wife. His cheeks are a little red, but with a man that pasty, it's sure to be a light sunburn.

"Oh yeah?" She asks, almost seductively, blue eyes twinkling with some hidden secret.

Tom's lips tilt down into a frown, now no longer even looking in your direction. He's jealous, you figure, you've never seen him and Shiv cuddled up like this, at least not comfortably so. Someone is always tense and irritated.

After sparing her husband a glance, you see her eyes narrow and her lips drawing into a tight line.

You offer them a smile while Roman once again gives a rude gesture.

Swiftly, Shiv rises from her seat, empty wine glass in hand. She barely gestures a simple goodbye before walking away with Tom. You watch as she says something to him, which makes him recoil from her.

You could only imagine what that was about, but you figure it was you and Roman.

You press your cheek even harder against Roman's chest, almost like you're trying to burrow your way under his skin. The fresh white linen shirt he's wearing is soft underneath you. His uncalloused fingertips continue to dance across your exposed arm.

He's no longer tense, you notice; his muscles are more relaxed now that his siblings are nowhere to be seen. Logan wasn't around either, which eased the thick and looming tension that usually hung around the family.

Roman chuckles, tangling his feet around yours.

"What's got you all giggly today?" You ask, closing your eyes as you soak in more of the warmth.

"I'm not giggly, thank you very much. Giggling is for school girls and wine drunk single moms."

"Yeah, ok," You snort, smiling.

"You're just all over me like a fucking uh--"

"Koala?"

"Nah, more like one of those bigass fucking boa constrictors, y'know the ones I'm talking about?"

"A boa constrictor?" You gasp, jokingly offended at his words. Shifting from your position you eye your boyfriend. "You asshole!" Grabbing a small pillow from beside you, you hit him square in the chest repeatedly.

You're hovering over him, knees on either side of his hips, pinning him to the couch below him.

"Hey, hey!" He laughs, attempting to grab your wrists. "This is domestic abuse! ABUSE! ABUSE! Greg call the cops, she's beating me!"

Somewhere in the distance you can only faintly hear Greg stutter something, but your laughter is too loud to actually make it out.

Roman finally grabs the decorative pillow out of your hands and flings it somewhere.

His brown hair is messy, strands dangle in front of his eyes, no longer slicked back and proper. The laughter dies down but his bright smile remains, melting your heart.

"You're an absolute prick, Roman Roy, y'know that?" You whisper, lips lingering right over his.

"Oh I know," He smirks, irritatingly handsome like usual, eyes flicking between your own and your lips. "And you fucking love it."

Surging up, his lips connect with yours, traces of coconut and pineapple left on his tongue. The sweetness of rum mingles with the fruity aftertaste.

Humming in satisfaction, you close your eyes and place your hands on either side of his face, leaning into the kiss. Roman's light scruff rubs against your palms.

Eventually you pull back in order to breathe in the salty Mediterranean air. Roman's lips chase after your own, hoping to continue and subsequently never stop again.

"Yeah, I do." You sigh, gazing at his eyes as they turn into a molten shimmering gold hue in the afternoon sun.

•

[toruro]

crawling on the floor and begging for pussy drunk jun like fr drunk like no one has ever seen ;-;

[19:44]

pairing. jun x reader

genre. smut (18+ / minors dni)

w/c. 850+

usually your time coming home from work is filled with sweet kisses by the door, followed by giggles and snorts as you two stumble into the kitchen to make dinner together.

usually jun brushes some hair out of your face, kisses your cheek softly, and helps you tie on your apron. usually he asks you, "hey baby, how was work?" and litters you with coos and compliments as you share bits of your day.

usually he grins at you as you sit across from each other at the table, fingers intertwined as you settle to eat dessert on the couch, putting on some re-running episodes of naruto.

usually, jun doesn't slam the door shut and shove a knee between your legs just as you enter the foyer, mumbling on about how much he fucking needs you.

"fuh ... fuck," the curse slips from your lips before you even realize what he's doing to you. he's got his face buried in your neck as he sucks sloppy kisses against your skin, lapping moaning against the growing bruises.

"baby," jun huffs into you, pulling away so he can tug your shirt off in a frantic mess before sinking to his knees. "baby lemme eat you out," he groans, pressing his head against your legs as he looks up w sparkling eyes.

"o-oh," you gasp out when you feel his fingers playing at the edge of your waistband, yanking the dark pants down as you awkwardly lean against the wall and spread your legs. "fuck, yeah—please," you moan when jun presses his nose against the cotton of your panties. the moan he lets out reverberates through your core and you shudder when he licks you over the fabric.

"can taste you through your panties," jun says, scooting closer between your legs so he can grab your hip with one hand and your ass with the other. "so fucking good," he groans against when he licks another fat stripe before pulling the fabric to the side to reveal your slick, fluttering folds, "so fucking pretty."

leaning forward, jun noses against your clit, shooting soft and steady pulses through your blood, and you instinctively thread your fingers through his hair. "c'mon baby," you coo between airy breaths, "you were just begging, weren't you?"

"yeah," jun agrees, looking back up at you w wide eyes before grinning shyly. "sorry, s'just you smell so good," he mutters before wrapping his lips around your clit and sucking hard. you hardly have enough time to cry out and brace yourself against the wall before his tongue is jutting out and licking all up and down over your drenched folds.

jun moans into you, letting the vibrations shake your core as you pulse around his tongue. he's making out with your cunt and it has your back arching and throat letting out high pitched moans and mangled words as you try to get him to slow down.

it's just so much, and the onslaught of pleasure doesn't stop because jun doesn't stop—he's too lost in the taste of your arousal, the sound of your moans, the feeling of your fingers in his hair—you start to feel dizzy from all the pleasure, biting down on your lip as you squirm in his hold.

"just like that junnie—fuh ... oh—" you whine when his nose bumps against your clit again, your body twitching at the contact.

"you're gonna cum right?" jun mumbles against you, and he peeks up so you can take a glance at the shine on the lower half of his face, eyes glossy and smile dopey. fuck. fuck.

"uh-huh," you nod, brushing some hair away from his forehead as he dives back in, murmuring words into your folds as he does so.

"gonna lemme taste you cum, right?" you hear him say of the rush in your ears as you start to lose sight of your vision again. this time, jun's got a finger a prodding at your hole as he flicks his tongue against your clit, and before you know it he's rubbing against your walls and pushing you closer and closer to your impending high. "finest pussy ever, fuck—" jun mewls into you when you can't take it anymore, squeezing down on him like vise.

he eats you through the high—nearly devours you whole with his harsh sucks and nips, lapping against the sensitive nub of your clit. there are tears streaming down your face as you grind down on him, riding out every last bit of pleasure until you're burning and jerking at every one of jun's ministrations.

"b-baby slow down," you hiccup, trying to nudge his face away, but suddenly his hands are gripping at your hips, holding you in place. "i just came a-and—" you stutter, but then jun is looking up at you with those hazy eyes and something in your stomach churns.

"s'good baby," he groans, pressing a sloppy kiss to your thigh before brushing his lips back over your sensitive clit. you let out a squeak as your hand flies back down to hold onto his head. "you'll let me taste you again, won't you?"

[impala666]

Cuddly Sasquatch

That's right! I'm back! At least somewhat. I've been needing some more Sam Winchester and there isn't nearly enough on here. I need something new to read so I just decided to do it myself. So that's why I'm here, to give Sam Winchester the love that he deserves! P.S. I 100% think that Sam would be a fan of The Office. Hell, they probably both are. But Sam just really gives of Office fan vibes.

The Winchester brothers and yourself had gotten home to the bunker after a pretty gnarly hunt in Omaha, Nebraska. It had taken over a week and a half to try and track down the vamps that were literally sucking the life out of folks. As soon as the three of you pulled into the garage of the bunker you beelined for the showers before the Dean and your boyfriend the Sasquatch could beat you to it. All of you came home covered in vampire blood, so you were determined to make it to the fresh, hot water before the other two could use it all up.

It was an hour or two later, now you were sitting up against the headboard of the bed that you regularly shared with Sam. You were finally in your pajamas, sitting in bed with the book you were currently reading sipping on a glass of wine. It was so nice to finally sit back and relax and not read a book about lore for the monster that you were hunting that week. You were blissfully in a fictional world, totally ignoring your current one.

“Hey, baby,” Sam casually greets you. Slightly breathy as he strolls into the bedroom in nothing but sweatpants and a towel wrapped on his head. His anti possession tattoo, proudly on display.

“Hey, hon. So you beat Dean to the shower first, huh?” You asked him, taking another sip of wine.

“Yeah,” Sam chuckled as he took the towel off of his head and shook out the damp mop of hair on his head. “He really let me know it too, since he made sure to flush the toilet more than once to make the water hot as possible.” You giggled at the brothers childish antics as you turned your attention back to your book. Sam walked his way over to the dresser to toss on a t-shirt before turning the flat screen tv on.

“Hey, Sammy?” You asked him before he could lay down in bed next you and make himself comfortable. You looked up at him from your novel when you saw that he was looking at you, eyebrows raised, with the comforter lifted and paused. You knew that he was just about lay down next to you. “I’m empty.” You playfully pouted as you lifted your empty wine glass up to him and shaking it, hoping he loved your enough to get you a refill. Sam scoffed with a smile and glanced up at the ceiling shaking his head at you.

“You’re lucky I love you,” Sam joked with you as he took your glass and walked out of the room get you a new glass.

“I love you too,” you yelled after him. Smiling to yourself as you continued to read. Sometimes you couldn’t believe how lucky you got with Sam. He was so thoughtful and kind and funny. All wrapped in a handsome ass package. You had hunted with the brother for years, and all of you had seen some crap so dark you all thought it would swallow you whole at some point. But 3 years ago, one drunk night, after Sam and you thought the both of you would die and world would end. The two of you spent some time in the back seat of the impala and the two of you had been together ever since. You were each other's light in the darkness.

When you felt a shift on the bed you looked up and saw the light of your life with two wine glasses. A new one for you and one for himself. Sam returned to finding something to watch on the television before the both of you went to bed. Of course he settled on The Office, it was usually his go to after a brutal hunt. Something lighthearted and funny. After an episode had been chosen, Sam settled and rested his head on his pillow. He glanced up at you still sitting up in bed reading your book, but that wasn’t what he wanted. So he debated on leaving you alone for .5 seconds, but ultimately took your book, tossed it to the floor on your side of the bed and wrapped his arms around your waist. Dragging you down so you were laying down next to him the moved from his own pillow and rested himself on your chest. 

“Sam! How rude, I was reading that!” You exclaimed, at first upset that he made you lose your place in the book. But as soon as the big lug rested his head on you, you didn’t seem to mind and you let out a little giggle.

“You’ll be fine. I’ll help you find where you were tomorrow.” Sam told you as he continued to get himself comfortable on you. You rolled your eyes at him, but you couldn’t help but wrap your arms around him. One hand rubbing his back as best as it could reach, the other running through his hair. You felt Sam relax as he let out a deep breath and give you a peck on your neck before turning his attention back to the screen. As you felt his long legs tangle with your own you couldn’t help but give him a peck on the forehead as you took a whiff of his still damp hair.

“Hmm, I love my cuddly Sasquatch.” You told him softly as you continued to rub his back.

“I love you too.” Sam quietly mumbled back as he was trying to focus on the tv and not falling asleep. But he couldn’t help it. The way your hands felt on his back and in his hair made him feel warm and safe. He was finally home. And he was home with his person. That was all he wanted for the rest of his life. No hunting, no monsters, just this. Happiness.

[coquelicoq]

just finished my rewatch so i am here to bring you the important fax, such as:

how many dramatic thunderstorms take place over the course of 40 episodes of the double?

the answer may surprise you!

episode 1. the og. xue fangfei is buried alive by her husband, who then goes in for a lil psychological torture courtesy of the princess. meanwhile, su-guogong kicks down the door of a contraband salt warehouse and does a sick spin onto the back of a chair completely unnecessarily. for the aesthetic. you really get your bang for your buck with this one because it also features in at least ELEVEN separate flashbacks in later episodes (episodes 4, 7, 9 (three FBs), 11, 13, 17, 24, 27, and 32, to be specific).

episode 7. shen yurong comes to the jiang residence to give "jiang li" an entrance exam for fancy pants academy. she drops hella hints to her true identity and keeps bringing up how much it sucked to be abandoned on that mountain :) while a storm rages around them much akin to the one that made the whole live burial thing especially dramatic. as if being buried alive needed additional pathos.

episode 13. xue fangfei is called before the jiang family tribunal because she's got some explaining to do about what happened at the palace banquet (where, if you recall, jiang ruoyao attempted to set her up to be violated and disgraced, and instead found their cousin in bed with jry's fiance). of course our girl wipes the floor with these amateurs. she's bringing melodramatic precipitation to the table, and what do they have, a face wound? god's least favorite soldier (the concubine's son)? please. you gotta get up earlier in the morning than that to pull one over on this fake ex-nun.

episode 14. this one is maybe the funniest to me from a doylist perspective because it's just one single thunderclap/lightning bolt right after the emperor says to xiao heng, the princess hates you. she might even try...to KILL YOU. like bro this is not news to anybody lol. but at least the universe has a sense of dramatic timing. there is no other sign of this storm, not even rainfall, in any other part of the episode...the emperor summoned a stormcloud just for that one sentence and then was like okay i got what i needed, run along now.

episode 17. wins the award for cutest rainstorm. a drunk xue fangfei holds xiao heng's cheeks very insistently between her hands, looking up into his eyes as rain falls in her face. he takes off his utterly sodden cloak and wraps it around her shoulders, surely doing absolutely nothing w/r/t keeping her dry but at least seeming very tender about it. the rain is obviously integral to the scene, but i think the thunder and lightning are mainly here because someone involved with this production really likes thunder and lightning. we also get a flashback to this one in...

episode 18. the metaphorical masturbation scene (xue fangfei lies in a tub artfully draped in fabric nuzzling the soft petals of a rose while xiao heng does half-naked swordplay dripping with rain). again i think somebody was just having a lot of fun with the thunderstorm effects on set that day. rain would have been sufficient, but if there's one thing you can say about this show, it's that everyone involved agreed that "sufficient" will not suffice. we are not here to regular-ass things. we are here to double- or even triple-ass them. and when in doubt on how to achieve that, add some fucking meteorological event. some kind of audiovisual spectacle. it's literally coming down from the heavens. what, are we gonna ask for subtlety? from this show? not if we know what's good for us.

episode 20. xue fangfei has just asked the auntie down the street in huaixiang to testify on her father's behalf, getting down on her knees and begging, only to have the door shut in her face. ouch. if that's not prime time for some rain to mingle with her tears, her surroundings reflecting her inner state, i don't know what is. it's giving textbook pathetic fallacy.

episode 25. ji shuran meets with the imperial diviner who turns out to be her long lost lover she thought she had successfully burned to death!!! (ohhh sidenote i am just now getting the jsr-syr parallel with this.) honestly if they had neglected to punctuate this scene with thunder and lightning i would have been metaphorically holding the back of my hand up to the production's forehead to check for fever. it would not be a sign of health, given this show's general baseline.

episode 27. xue fangfei meets with jiang yuanbai's concubine, hu-yiniang, trying to convince her to help xue fangfei fuck ji shuran's shit right up. the weather didn't help her recruit the huaixiang auntie, but it works like a charm on auntie hu. (i'm choosing to believe the weather is a sentient entity and it's showing up to drench xue fangfei like a wet cat at irregular intervals like ⛈ im helping 🥰)

episode 28. the exorcism. fuck yes there's a thunderstorm during the exorcism. what are we even doing here if the showdown between olympic-grade synchronized charlatan choreography and mad-with-grief-mother-approved creepy ventriloquism isn't punctuated by bolts of lightning? don't waste my time. perfectly timed thunderclaps or gtfo.

episode 29. gotta have some thunder and lightning while visiting the tombstone of your brother who isn't actually dead (but you don't know that). definitely gotta have some rain so your crush can show up out of nowhere and lovingly hold an umbrella over your head. that's just basic science. step 4.7 of the water cycle.

episode 30. xue fangfei comes to the academy to rehearse the duet for the zhao envoy and dun dun dunnnn...only shen yurong is there!!! i am feeling distinctly menaced, but on her behalf, or on his? hard to say. on the one hand, he did attempted-murder her. on the other hand, she's xue fucking fangfei and he's the chump who attempted-murdered her. sweet dreams, bucko.

episode 35. consort li visits the princess in an attempt to get her diagnosed with Pregnancy...out of wedlock!! lots of thunder but no lightning until shen yurong shows up afterward and is like, hey honey i figured out how to solve this problem, just marry this totally other dude 👍 wanning is Not having a good day and the weather got the memo.

episode 39. what would u even do if ur lover poisoned you & took that opportunity to rescue his ex-wife from ur dungeon & walked out holding her in a bridal carry (after using knockout gas on her, natch) & when he saw u he tenderly placed her down out of the rain? what would u do if u had the hairpin u thought he had given u as a sincere token of love and commitment & this hairpin was sharp enough to impale a person & u could put it in his hand pointed toward u & then u could pull his hand right into ur abdomen? WHAT WOULD U DO if all this was the case BUT THERE WAS NO THUNDER AND LIGHTNING WHILE THIS WAS GOING DOWN?? i think i would just NOT impale myself on my own hairpin using my traitorous lover's hand. out of PIQUE. i know weather patterns are driven by atmospheric forces or whatever but come on man. that would just be rude. so thankfully the weather showed up to give the princess the dramatic accompaniment her iconic death scene deserved. she died as she lived: dangerous, vulnerable, electrifying. i'm buying the effects people a round for this one. they made it count.

so, 14 individual thunderstorms, plus at least 10 flashbacks* to one of those thunderstorms, for (at minimum) 24 total scenes featuring thunderstorms in 40 episodes. *(i say "at least" because i probably missed some. and there are 12 FBs mentioned in this post, but two of them were being remembered while another thunderstorm was taking place, so their scenes have already been included in the count of 24.) and that is not even counting 1) lightning in an imaginary what-if scene in episode 6 in which xiangqiao (one of jsr's planted servants) says "if i'm lying, strike me with lightning!" or 2) the magical lightning strikes that jiang ruoyao and/or xue fangfei may or may not create during the guqin exam cgi extravaganza in episode 11 (kinda hard to tell if that was lightning or not). if you count those too you start to wonder if the crew was getting some kind of bulk discount on lightning bolts from the lightning bolt factory...but that's none of my business 😌

[sibylsleaves]

you call me pretty little thing

2.7k | rated E | Five Alarm Fest Day 3 | read on ao3 Buck grins against Eddie’s jaw as Eddie goes completely taut and still on the couch. “Buck,” Eddie breathes after a moment. “Are you wearing—?” Buck nips at Eddie’s slack mouth and says coyly, “Why don’t you see for yourself?” Eddie, it seems, doesn’t need to be told twice. He shoves Buck off his lap, tearing his sweatpants down his hips to reveal the tiny, pink lace panties Buck has on beneath them. in which Buck's seduction plan kind of backfires but no one's complaining

So far, Buck’s plan is going off without a hitch.

It’s a lazy, weekend night with just the two of them at the Diaz house, Chris having gone out with friends to eat his weight in chicken wings and see the new Ghostbusters movie—the kind of teenage outing that’s becoming more and more common these days.

Despite his aversion to LA’s Friday night crowds, Eddie had offered to take Buck out to the Peruvian place he’s been wanting to try, but Buck had demurred.

“Let’s just stay in,” he’d said. “I wanna test out that tajin chicken recipe Karen sent me last week. And we can watch the next episode of Physical 100.”

“Jesus,” Eddie replied, playing with the fingers of Buck’s left hand. He was smiling that sweet, smitten smile that Buck’s been the preening recipient of more times than he cant count in the past few months. “Are we officially old and boring like Chris says?”

“Pretty sure we hit that milestone a while ago,” Buck replied, equally embarrassingly smitten. There’s no one else he’d rather be old and boring with than Eddie.

Now, after a recipe trial deemed a triumphant success and half an episode in to Physical 100, Buck’s got Eddie right where he wants him—on the couch, underneath him, while Buck sucks a messy hickey onto the side of his neck.

“Maybe,” Eddie murmurs between deep, sloppy kisses, “we should think about moving this to the bedroom.”

Buck hums in agreement, rolling his hips lazily in Eddie’s lap and cradling Eddie’s face between his hands as he sinks into another deep kiss. Buck’s already discarded his shirt, tossed unceremoniously behind the couch, and Eddie’s hands are busy roaming over the bare expanse of Buck’s chest, over his shoulder blades, down his back. One hand ventures further, dipping under the elastic of Buck’s sweatpants to grab a handful of his ass and—

Freezes there.

(continue on ao3)

[bootyful-seventeen]

Horny svt thots pt 2

*took forever but I finally scraped enough motivation to get more horny thots out so all members are complete! it's been brutal with how little drive i've had but i finally typed again and i feel like squidward from that one episode where he stayed up all night writing

Okay but thinking about Cheol and slipping away together when at a party, or on an outing with friends to get a bit more handsy has me on the floor. He’d be a little distracted with keeping a look out for anyone walking by/coming to look for you while you’re on your knees and licking at his balls while jerking him off. And just the visual alone of Seungcheol covering his mouth with a hand to stifle his moans while the other was guiding your head up and down his cock is just, oh my… He’s choking back his moans until you push yourself farther down on his cock until you’re practically gagging yourself, and he’s cumming with muffled whines of “baby feel so good” “swallow every drop f’r me yeah? That’s my good girl” “fuck baby I love you” and you're lapping at the cum dripping down his cock and balls with a sweet smile on your face and telling him you love him too

What about rimming Joshua! His upper half is melting into the mattress while you're tightily gripping onto his his to keep them up in the air for you to swirl your tongue over his twitching hole. His cheeks are burning and tears are brimming in his eyes from how good he's feeling when you squeeze his cute butt. You're occasionally switching from using your mouth to teasing his hole and balls with your hands, whispering into his skin about how pretty he sounds when he's getting eaten out. Or how flustered he'd get when you manhandle him a bit to lay on his back and order him to watch you while you suck him off. At the same time your fingers are slipping back to his spit slicked hole, pushing a finger in to the knuckle while your free hand started pumping his throbbing cock until whines and moans were falling freely from Joshua's lips. Or how he'd get shy enough to try and bury his face in the sheets to hide his burning cheeks in the cool fabris as you slipped another finger or two into his twitching hole until he's cumming all over himself. His heart pounding in his ears when you went back to sucking on his balls at the same time your hands were lazily pumping his cock and sensitive little hole

Or even going on a nice walk followed by a picnic with Jun at the park near sundown, and he's got you pulled onto his lap with your dress pulled under your tits and his cock rubbing against your slick folds. He's grunting in your ear about how you've teased him long enough with that pretty little sundress of yours. Especially when you had hiked up the skirt to flash him the wet patch on your lacy thong while he ate some strawberries and had nearly choked on one. Jun's eyes are focused on you and how your cunt grips his cock so tightly when he swipes his thumb over your clit, your eyes are darting around the park to see if anyone is still milling about and would potentally catch you getting railed if you weren't careful. But god does Jun enjoy how beautiful you look with the setting sun behind you making you look etherial as tears brimmed in your eyes and you whimpered while coming undone on his cock. He'd pull at the top of your dress until they sit under your breasts and he can't help but moan when he sees you weren't wearing a bra and his lips are instantly attaching themselves to your nipple. Sucking, bitting and licking at it before he's switching to play with the other as you rubbed at your clit. Begging him to make you cum while his hands are groping and pulling at your ass. Giving you a helping hand with riding him when you started to slow down a bit. Or how Jun would swat away your hand and play with your clit until you're pulsing around him when he gives your little clit a few pinches, his lust blown eyes watching you cover your mouth to cut off your moaning as you cum around him. Tits bouncing as your hips jerked from his hard thrusts chasing his own orgasm to the point that you were falling backwards as Jun's moving to hunch over your form until he's shooting ropes of thick cum in your pussy. Reaching for his phone to capture a couple pics of your cunt leaking with his cum before he's snapping a few full body shots of you with you holding your legs open and your spit slicked tits fully in view of his camera along with the fucked out look on your face, the last rays of the setting sun bathing you in it's light. Even managing to get a few shots of himself putting just the tip in before you're wiggling your hips and begging him to give you more and who is he to deny his perfect girl

Okay but the brainrot I've been having about fucking Soonyoung at a beach is unreal. Like he's taking you on a tropical vacation and found a nice and secluded beach to take you to for the day. In the beginning it was just about spending some time alone without worrying much about other people. But when you peeled off your swim suit and splashed around in the crystal blue waters while he set up the umbrella and picnic blackets, Soonyoung couldn't help but follow your lead and strip himself down to join you in the water. His eyes would be glued to your form as you bobbed along his cock before letting him go with a wet pop and climbing onto his lap. Soonyoung's mouth falls open when you sink down on his cock paired with your lips on his neck sucking some marks onto his skin. Or how he'd look so pretty with misty eyes begging to cum. His fingers tightly squeezing onto your hips to help you bounce faster on his cock until he's spilling his cum deep inside. A bashful little smile on his face when you slide off his cock and his seed floods from your cunt, and he's stuttering about how he wasn't expecting his load to be that big. His head would be spinning when you rub your cum filled pussy over his semi hard cock and demanding him to fill you up with his cum again and again until neither of you can take it anymore

okay but just think of how hot Wonwoo would be when you're sucking him off in his car after teasing him the whole time you were out with him. You just could not for the life of you keep your little mitts off of him and his breaking point was when you had sat down to eat dinner at this new restaurant you've been dying to go to, and you moved your self to sit beside him in the booth to paw at his crotch after tracing up and down his inner thigh for a while. He was doing really well until you quickly unzipped his pants to slip your hand into his underwear to fist his cock. Wonwoo would have an iron grip on your wrist as he lowly whispers that you're gonna get it if you keep this up, and hearing that only sends jolts of arousal to your clit. You can barely remember how you got outside and in his car but you remember that the second the doors shut, his hand was gripping the back of your neck and pulling you to his bulge. "See what you did to me baby, since you couldn't wait, your slutty little mouth is gonna be making it up to me" and you're lips are being pushed open as he pushes your head down onto himself. Wonwoo's hit the back of your throat and you gaged as his hand started a rough pace for you. Your eyes rolling into the back of your head as he used your mouth as a fleshlight. Degrading words slurring when you rubbed your tongue along the vein on his length, or when you'd try to slip your tongue out as far as it could go to flick at his balls. Your eyes had rolled into the back of your skull by the time he switched hands to free up the one closer to your ass to give it a squeeze and a few spanks. His fingers inching lower to rub over your slit, a dark chuckle of how you're this wet from just a facefucking before he's yanking you off his spit coated cock that's just throbbing to be back inside your warm, wet hole, and is ordering you to get in the backseat so he can cum inside your needy little cunt

Now Hansol has been rotting my brain with thoughts of titty fucking him in your backyard. It's been an incredibly hot day and it called for a nice dip in the pool. Hansol's got a faint sunburn on his cheeks and shoulders from the sun while he lounged at the edge of the pool, his eyes following your form swimming through the water until you swam up between his legs. His eyes would be falling back to your tits and openly admiring the way they looked in your new bikini before pulling him down for a kiss. I'm in heat thinking about how his cock would jump when you're sliding back into the refreshing water with your hands trailing down from his neck to pull his swim trunks enough to free his cock. Or how Hansol would let out these shy little giggles when you ask him if he's like to fuck your tits, while you're sliding his hot cock in the space between your tits with the string of your bikini keeping the base of his length close. I can see his cheeks glowing pink when you pull the fabric aside to let his eyes drink in the full glory of your tits. His fingers reaching out to thumb at your pebbled nipples as you lightly started to move your tits up and down his cock. Oh god I am knawing at the bars of my cage just thinking about how Hansol would occasionally stutter out praises like " you l-ook s-oh fuck-so pretty with my dick between your tits" or "ple-ease don't sto-op, feel s'good" or how he'd be so whiny when he wasn't talking. Hansol's eyes would almost go cross eyed when you tilt your chin down to kitten lick at his slit while holding your tits tight around him to try and keep him steady for you before he's gripping onto your hair and bucking the tip of his leaky cock between your lips until he's ready to cum. Shooting his load over the lower half of your face and tits while you played with your nipples and let out your own sweet little moans when you'd pinch the heard buds a little too hard just to send currents of pleasure to your clit before he's sliding into the water himself to pull you over to the set of stairs by the shallow end to give your throbbing cunt the same treatment

Oh god okay but imagine how hot Chan would look while he's thigh fucking you! His lips are brushing against your shoulder as he tightly holds onto your thighs. His cock is pistoning between your slick thighs while you're grabbing onto his pants and trying to keep your eyes focused enough to take in his dishelveled appearance from your bedroom mirror. Or how his cheeks are flushed dark when he catches you staring at him with hooded eyes and breathy little moans asking him to cum for you. Or how he's rut his hips even harder into the seam of your thighs as he's about to cum. The head of his cock bumping your throbbing clit each time sending delicious shivers through your body. And how he's groaning and letting out louder moans that make a wave of heat rush over your body from the sound of Chan's pleasure when he cums all over your thighs and mound. Then it's your turn for your cheeks to heat up when he's tapping for you to spread your legs for him, spurting some of his cum onto the crotch of your panties and Chan's grabbing your soiled panties that rested on your midthighs back up to fit snugly on your soaked pussy lips. Giving your cunt a few soft pats as he helps you fix your dress and lipstick. Then he'd pull you out the bedroom door while telling you that you're gonna be late for the party if you don't leave now and that maybe he could squeeze in a few quickies if you keep the cum soaked panties on all night

[princessbrunette]

can you do jj spitting in the reader’s mouth after making her call him dad

basing this around the episode where jj dressed up as a paramedic because that was one of his sexiest looks n people moved on from that too fast !!!!!!!!!

𐙚🐈‍⬛⋆.˚❆

jj was not the responsible one in the group. jj, was the fun one! the trouble maker, the reckless loose canon, mr ‘stupid things have good outcomes all the time’. he was not responsible, let alone strict.

that was until he met you.

he couldn’t believe half the things that came out of his mouth. like, ‘do your jacket up, now.’ who even says that? he couldn’t stand the thought of you in trouble, couldn’t bear for you to do any of the dumb things that he’d normally do, and he would never ever in his power let anything or anyone pierce through your skin and hurt you. not a chance, you’d have to get through him first.

thinking that this change of his went unnoticed is a laughable offence. he was consistently ridiculed with ‘wow, who are you and what did you do to our best friend?’ — and that he could take, usually laughing it off with a petty tongue in his cheek— wondering the same damn thing. but you, well — you had taken it upon yourself to don him a brand new nickname.

‘dad’

it made him huff, nostrils flaring and nose tip twitching upwards like it physically made him itch everytime it slipped from your mouth. “thanks, dad.” you’d giggle when he’d stop you in your tracks to tie your shoe before you went tumbling over yourself. “sorry dad!” you’d whisper in amusement when he would send you a tight lipped look that meant shut up and listen. “please, dad?” you’d emphasise deviously when he’d deny you the permission to do something reckless.

the worst part is, it made his dick hurt. no not throb, not stiffen— hurt. the sentiment made him wanna fuck into you in a way that strays from his usual pipe game. no cheeky quips with a thumb on your clit having eased his length in inch by inch, no— none of that. he means a headlock, or full nelson or something ridiculous and a deep hard fucking that makes you cry.

you’d been a pain in the ass on this little mission of his that he didn’t want to let you on in the first place. it involved a failed jail break, a stolen ambulance and paramedic uniforms. well, he wore the white all-in-one paramedic suit and the navy cap with the logo on it, and you — you sat pretty in the passenger side wearing a polo top with the hospital logo and a black mini skirt. he said if the two of you get caught, it’s on you and your ‘sex shop costume adjacent’ get up.

in hindsight, it was clear you were feeling him in the uniform from the start, looking at him all unfocused and doe eyed whilst he rambles about the plan on the drive there, sucking on that juicy bottom lip and all.

“dude— are you listening? john b’s livelihood is on the line here. we gotta take action.” he barely glances at you as he steers the ambulance, which only makes you want it more.

“yes, dad.”

it’s dad this, dad that— all the way up until you’re panting in the back of kie’s car— having escaped a police chase with no john b in tow. jj was frustrated, full of adrenaline, and turned the fuck on— which is why your panties were around your ankles as soon as he got you back to your empty home.

infact, the pink lace underwear was still binding your ankles when he had your knees pressed to your chest, his all-in-one uniform pulled down off his body just enough to have his dick out, fucking into you mercilessly with a hand around your neck. you’re totally fucked our already, moaning and squealing uncontrollably— and the cap still resides on jj’s head as he grits his teeth, talking down to you.

“nah, call me what you wanna call me— go ‘head, you know i’ve been waitin’ on it to slip out. who am i, babydoll? fuckin’ tell me.” his voice grits and his cheeks are all pink, still cute despite everything.

“d—ugh!” you can’t get it out, because he’s hammering into the spot now, and you’re nearly there. also, you chickened out. you both knew you were into it, this whole ‘dad’ thing— but there’s pride involved. embarrassment. the self awareness that you’d be a wet dream for a freud-following-psychology-student.

“come on,” he chuckles but it’s angry. “say that shit. loud n’clear baby i’m listening.”

“dad, please! wanna cum, dad!” you cry, and it’s this big burst of emotion, because you’re somewhat humiliated— feeling exposed over your kink that had been thinly veiled as a joke until this very moment. his jaw drops for a second after you say it, like he can’t contain the pleasure flooding out of him— but he gains control again in a second, authority seeping into him. his hand loosens from your neck, instead choosing to thumb at your bottom lip.

“yeah, yeah that’s right. that’s what i thought. so you do know how to be a good girl, got it. now open up.”

you don’t, so he tugs your jaw open with his thumb and leans in, spitting a big wet glob of spit into your mouth, smearing what didn’t go in around your swollen lips and laughing at you. sick, sick man. “you like that shit, huh?” and you really did.

he stops getting so antsy and irritated in the future when you drop the nickname on him in public after that point. now he knows what it really means.

𐙚🐈‍⬛⋆.˚❆

[bts-hyperfixation]

Bts reaction to their partner staying up till 3am watching are you sure?

Namjoon: genuine groggy confusion as he brings himself half asleep out of the bedroom to find out where you went. He followed the sound of your giggling and finds you curled up on the sofa under a blanket, your hand occasionally escaping your cocoon for snacks. He watches you watching them for a while the same way he watches chaos unfold on stage. Eventually you look up and notice him there, jumping when all you see on the dark to start with is his shadow lingering in the dark. He joins you to finish the episode and then forces you to come to bed because 4am is ridiculous.

Seokjin: Absolutely incredulised that you would be watching the maknaes when you could be curled up in bed with him, or at least watching run!jin (He doesn't care that you were there for filming, and have therefore already seen those episodes). He switches the TV off and threatens to cancel the Disney plus subscription if you don't get your ass back into his bed right that second. then he spends the remainder of the night with his leg over yours.

Yoongi: Probably just got back from the studio he isn't supposed to be working in and that's why you were up in the first place. You decided you missed the band while they were enlisted and thought you'd make your way through content. You watch permission to dance first thinking you might fall asleep to it, but then are you sure was suggested after so you continued. Yoongi comes in and you pause it, caught in the act of being too sentimental. Usually he might scold you for waiting up, but this time he just sits next to you on the sofa and opens his arms for you to crawl into so you can watch together.

Hoseok: A little insulted that you are spending your sleepless nights while he is on leave doing something other than him... However, he gets sucked in when he hears them mention how much they wish their haunts could've been on the trip. He then gets more wrapped up in the show than you do, commenting on things he would've liked to have done with them and making plans to take a trip with them after their enlistment ends, or thinking about maybe making the second season with him and Jin.

Jimin: He is mostly embarrassed you've been watching a show primarily about his tummy troubles and his juniors bullying him. He is also concerned about the fact you aren't sleeping and tries to drag you to a bed, which has nothing at all to do with the fact the water gun ass shooting scene is about to rear it's ugly head.

Taehyung: Pokes his head out to see what you're up to, probably doesn't even register what you're watching. He them lays his head in your lap, places your hand in his hair, and falls back to sleep.

Jungkook: Was watching it first, he wanted to have the ARMY experience of watching it. You sit with him and he feeds you backstage drama and things that had been cut from production

[x-bluefire-heart-x]

So...Now?

Alright Chapter 9 of Dating up is here. I split it in half, this is set directly after Chapter 8. I hope you guys like this and the next chapter is almost done and will be up soon.

Let me know if you guys want to be added to the tag list! Also if you have any ideas you want to see, like any episodes that you would like to see Chica in.

Warnings: Sexual contact, fingering, sucking dick, a hint at anal play, marking, dirty talk

Master List

Prompt List

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 10

Tag List: @pear-1206

“Oh god,” you muttered shoving your head deeper under the pillow. “I hate life.”

Your mouth was dry and felt like cotton but also a little minty as you tried to work out what happened last night. It all got a little fuzzy around the time Rafael and his friends showed up. But you were sure there was something in there that was embarrassing, something…

“Oh jesus, please tell me that was just a weird ass dream?” you pleaded.

“If you’re talking about last night, then I’m afraid not Chica,” Rafael’s amused voice drifted over you. You groaned in response, burrowing further into the nest you had made in his bed. The events of last night became a little clearer the longer you were awake, you felt your body turn to ice, your stomach dropping as you remembered in detail what you did and said.

“I am so sorry,” you whispered sitting up, turning to look at Rafael, you felt so bad about last night. You couldn’t believe what you had done.

“Why?” Rafael asked moving forwards, sitting down and taking your hand, bringing it to his lips.

“Cause I was meeting your friends for the first time and I was so drunk that I talked about your dick and sex,” you whined eyes watering a little. “And everything else, I must have been so embarrassing.”

“Carino, they thought you were adorable,” he assured you cupping your cheek and stroking under your eye to catch the stray tears. “And believe me they were happy for the material for teasing me.”

“Are you sure?” you asked. Rafael tugged on your hands urging you to move so you were sitting in his lap, legs straddling him and arms fiddling with the buttons on his shirt. His hands ran up and down your sides soothingly.

“Sweetheart, I am so sure,” he nodded, kissing your nose. “You could never do anything that would embarrass me. You were showing affection and being yourself around my friends. That is all I could ask, plus you made such a good snarky remark against Carisi, so there’s that.”

“Rafi,” you smiled feeling a little better about last night. “Promise me you’ll tell me if I made them uncomfortable?”

“Of course,” he agreed. “Do you feel better?”

“About that yes, but I still feel like death warmed up,” you rubbed your head. “Thank you for drinking my margherita.”

“Ah, see I made a good choice,” he tweaked your nose just to hear you giggle. “Alright, do you want to have a shower or some food?”

“Hm, shower, definitely,” you were about to get up but suddenly sat back down your eyes staring at Rafael, studying him.

“Chica?” he asked, brow furrowed unsure what you were doing.

“You said no to sex last night,” you stated

“Of course, you were drunk,”

“Huh,”

“Why?”

“It’s like a low bar, don’t get me wrong but thank you,” you shrugged. “But just for future reference, I would be okay with us fooling around when I’m a little drunk.”

“Noted, let’s have this conversation when you are a little more awake and alive,” he grinned.

“Alright,” you agreed. “But…wanna join me in the shower? I’m not drunk anymore.”

“If I ever say no to that question, it isn’t me and you should call Liv,” Rafael’s grip tightened on your hips holding you to him to stop you from getting up. “First, though I want you to drink some more water.”

“Rafi,”

“No, water and I’ll join you in the shower but that is it,” he tapped you on the nose. “You are hungover and as much as I would like to fuck you in the shower, I don’t think you’re really up to that are you?”

“No,” you pouted. “Though speaking of, did you clean my teeth last night? Whilst my mouth is dry it is minty.”

“Ah, no, you woke up, threw up and then cleaned your teeth while complaining about the light,” Rafael answered. “And then you preceded to do your whole night skin care. Which was not something I thought I would ever see done after a night of drinking.”

“….yeah that sounds like me, sorry should have warned you I tend to do that,” you scratched the back of your neck. “Sorry about throwing up.”

“Chica, it’s fine, you made it to the bathroom,” Rafael kissed your neck nibbling on the skin there.

“Woah buddy, if you don’t want to fuck me you better stop,” you wiggled away from his mouth before groaning a little. “Yeah, I think I need water. My head is trying to kill me.”

Rafael laughed wrapping his arm firmly around your waist as he leaned to grab the water bottle from the side table. Opening it behind your back before bringing it up to your lips, raising an eyebrow when you pursed your lips, face confused.

“Oh, so I can help you drink water when you’re drunk and don’t want to let go of my friend’s hand but now that it is the two of us suddenly it’s weird?” he asked. “Nice Chica.”

“Oh my god, I did that?” you asked.

“You did, and you owe me for that,” he nodded. “It completely ruined my hard arse reputation.”

“I’m sure you can make that back the next time you make a witness cry, or refuse to get a warrant cause they don’t have enough evidence and their “maternal instincts” aren’t enough,”

“Okay I told you I did that in confidence for it to never be mentioned again,”

“You never said off the record,”

“You suck,”

“You like my sucking,”

Rafael rolled his eyes as he brought the water bottle back up to your lips. You eyed it for a second longer before opening your mouth and letting him pour some in before swallowing, repeating the action until you pushed the bottle away.

“Alright, let’s get you in the shower, so you can eat something and take some pain meds,” Rafael said, recapping the bottle and sitting it on the bed beside the two of you. His arm still holding you close on his lap. “Now hold on tight.”

“What?” you were confused until Rafael stood up holding you against him. “Aw, you’re spoiling me.”

“Don’t get use to it,” Rafael warned you walking towards the bathroom.  “How’s the light?”

“Hm, hurts a little,” you admitted, eyes squinting against the harshness of the light. Rafael hummed as he sat you on the counter before reaching for the light switch and dimming them.

“Now?”

You merely hummed in response, smiling a little dopily at him. Rafael chuckled in response, pressing a kiss to your temple as he walked past you to the shower, fiddling with taps until it was the temperature you preferred. He made quick work of removing his own clothes before helping you out of yours, pressing kisses to your cheeks, temple and forehead as he did so.

“Want to wash your hair?” he asked carefully running a brush through it to get rid of the knots that appeared overnight. He hummed when you didn’t answer right away, leaning to press a kiss to you should blade. “Carino?”

“Don’t know but that feels nice,” your voice was getting drowsy from the gentle way Rafael brushed your hair, you were always a sucker for anyone who played with your hair and this, surprisingly, was the first time Rafael had brushed your hair.

“It doesn’t feel like it needs a wash, so maybe that can wait for when you’re more human,” Rafael joked reaching for a hair-tie that seemed to live on the bathroom counter. His fingers were gentle as he carefully gathered your hair and tied it into the bun he had seen you wear when you didn’t want your hair to get wet when you showered. “Is that too tight?”

“Not at all, I may have to demand that you play with my hair more often now,” you told him turning around to press a soft kiss to his lips. “I think it may be my favourite thing for you to do.”

“We’ll see,” he said, but he knew that he would never be able to deny you that request. Turns out he rather liked being able to play with your hair and brush it for you.

“We both know that means ‘Yes of course, Chica, whenever you want,’” you attempted to mimic his voice, arms wrapping around his shoulders as you pressed your naked bodies together.

“Chica,” Rafael warned, as he grabbed your hands and pulled them away before leading you into the shower. “Behave.”

“Sir, yes sir,” you mocked, attempting to hold a serious look before you broke and giggled at him.

“When you’re feeling better you are going to get it,” Rafael stated, gently turning you around so your whole body was wet before he grabbed the soap and a wash cloth. He switched places with you as he started to lather you, being so gentle with his movements.

“That feels nice, Rafi,” you whispered leaning to kiss him as he turned you around to wash your front. His eyes were soft with an emotion in them that you had never seen before, it caused your stomach to flutter and not in the way it normally does after a night of drinking.

“Good, let’s get you rinsed off,” he smiled. “Do you want to spend the day in bed?”

“Only if you are with me,” you prompted, taking the wash cloth and soap from him. “Can I wash you?”

“Maybe next time,” Rafael promised you switching places with you again to rinse off the soap. “Let’s get you dried and in bed, which yes I will join you, after I have made you some food.”

“Ooh, some greasy?” you asked.

“Bacon and egg sandwich with hashbrowns?”

“Perfect, with a cup of tea?”

“Of course, Chica, this is technically your breakfast, I know you need tea with breakfast,”

“You know me so well,” you grinned following him out of the shower.

Later in the day

“So, how are you feeling now?” Rafael asked running his hand through your hair. You smiled happily up at him, relaxing more against his lap. The two of you stayed in bed all day after your shower together, Rafael cuddling you at first and then he switched to sitting up with you laying on his lap while he read over some case notes.

“Much, thank you for looking after me,” you nodded.

“Of course, my darling,” he bent down to press a kiss to your forehead, gently stroking your cheek, before tweaking your nose.

“Normally, on our girls nights out we don’t get quite as drunk as we did,” you moaned.

“Oh?” Rafael sat his case file on the bed side table. “You young girls don’t go wild every other night?”

“Rafi, you read my dating profile, I’m a nerdy little librarian, all four of us are nerdy,” you rolled your eyes. “I prefer a night in. Last night was special it had been over four months since we were all able to meet up.”

“I know but you are still young,” he shrugged. Your eyes narrowed as you studied the way his face was twitching a little. “If you need to spend more time with your friends so you can meet up more-”

“Wait, wait, wait,” you interrupted him sitting up so you could look at him properly. “The only reason we weren’t able to meet up for nearly four months was because Shannon was out of the country visiting some of her family and Courtney had been out of state for work. And that is the second time you have said I’m young in a short time span. Rafi, does our difference in age bother you?”

“No,” Rafael denied, but he refused to look at you as he shifted sitting on the edge of the bed rubbing his face. He had hoped this might never come up between the two of you but he forgot that you were annoying observant, well, annoyingly only when you turned it on him. Adorable when it was any other time.

“Really, cause it seems a little like maybe it does,” you insisted. “Rafi, why haven’t you said anything before?”

“Because I guess I never realised until last night when I meet your friends,” he said. “And a part of me worried that I was keeping you from being with your friends and that maybe I was a little old for you.”

“Absolutely not,” you assured him, climbing onto his lap grabbing his face between your hands to ensure he couldn’t look away from you. “You listen to me right now Rafael Barba. You are not too old for me, me and my friends rarely get drunk like that, we all actually prefer hanging out at one of our places, checking out a museum or just getting a nice dinner. We occasionally get drunk like that but it is rare. You are not keeping me from my friends, now that Courtney and Shannon are back in town, we will be meeting up like we normally do. Understand?”

“Chica,” Rafael whispered his hands reaching up to cover yours, the light in his eyes coming back.

“Do you understand?” you repeated forcibly. “I need an answer bub, I need to be sure that you understand that the gap in our ages is not an issue, my friends adore you.”

“Yes, Carino I understand,” he nodded leaning forward to kiss you. “Thank you, sweetheart.”

“Anytime, babe,” you nuzzled your nose against his. “Please tell me if you start thinking like that again. Because I can tell you how you blow all other men out the water, my girls said their first times never ended with them having orgasms, well cept for Courtney but she had her first time with a woman so.”

“Really?” he asked, hands moving down to grab your hips.

“Yep,” you hummed popping the ‘p’. “So, I’m never letting you go, for the sex alone. God only knows if I could find another man who can make me orgasm from finger fucking me.”

“Good to know you aren’t superficial at all Chica,” Rafael squeezed your hips teasingly.

“I mean obviously I’m not letting you go because you’re-”

“Gorgeous, charming, sarcastic and incredibly intelligent?” he asked.

“Did…I say that last night?”

“Correct,” he nodded. “You also said I was really good in bed so.”

“God,” you groaned resting your head against his shoulder. “I’m never gonna be able to see your friends ever again.”

“Well, I mean at least you whispered your attempt at bribing me to give you your drink back,” Rafael pointed out dryly, causing you to lift your head to stare at him blankly.

“That’s something I suppose,” you agreed, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, running your fingers through his hair.

He hummed contently at your actions, letting his head fall to rest on your chest. You pressed a kiss to the top of his head, settling more firmly in his lap. The memory of what you whispered to him coming back, you couldn’t believe you said that even if no-one else was able to hear it. Though, the thought of doing that did make you excited, it turns out not even being hungover was enough to keep your desire for him down. You wiggled a little on his lap, feeling his dick underneath you didn’t help. You whimpered as you grew a little wet. Rafael’s arms tightened around you as you continued to wiggle in his lap.

“Want another shower?” Rafael asked.

“A shower?” now you were just confused…well, confused and horny but mostly confused.

“You’re feeling better,” he started, his hands holding you firmly in his lap. “And if you still want to, I would like to join you in that shower.”

“Hmm, I suppose I could be persuaded to have another shower,” you sighed, moving to get up from his lap.

“Oh, no, stay right there,” Rafael clicked his tongue, his hands holding your hips tightly to keep you firmly in his lap. Smirking when you looked at him confused. In one smooth motion he stood up holding you to him.

“Rafi!” you squeaked grabbing hold of his shoulders, legs wrapping around his waist as one of his hands moved to hold your ass, squeezing it teasingly as he walked to the bathroom. “Thought you said not to get use to this.”

“Hm, I thought this was an excellent way to get you to the bathroom so I can have my way with you,” he shrugged. “Now, what was it you said to me last night? Come on bub, let’s go.”

“Rafi,” you giggled, before grinning at him, words bubbling up inside but you held them in. Instead, you nuzzled into his neck, kissing and nibbling at the skin.

“Shit, Chica stop it,” he groused. “I could drop you.”    

“Oh, now why would you ever do that?” you asked licking up along his neck.

“Oh, now you’re going to get it woman,” he growled, a dark promise in his voice that caused you to shiver in delight. Both of his hands grabbing your arse and squeezing.

 “Maybe after this shower, we could do what I suggested last night?” you proposed.

“I have a question about that, what was with the vest?” Rafael asked sitting you on the counter, hands trailing along your thighs.

“I saw how you got one time I tried it on,” you raised an eyebrow. “It’s the same look you get in your eyes when I wear lingerie.”

“Hm, wear my blue and silver one,”

“Yes sir,” you reached out to start undoing his shirt. “But…how about I suck you off in the shower first?”

“Twist my arm, Chica,” he grinned, hands tugging your panties down as you finished with his shirt, pushing it off his shoulder and dragging your fingers back up his torso scratching over his nipples to get that little noise out of him.

His fingers trailed back up your thighs and under the shirt you were wearing as he started sucking kisses along your neck, he thought it was a little bare and that just had to change. You gasped, wrapping your legs around his waist to pull him closer, you could feel the outline of his cock against you as he rolled his hips.

“Rafi,” you moaned. “I thought I was meant to-”

“We’re not in the shower yet, Chica,” he whispered into your ear before he bit your lope gently. “I think I want you to cum on my fingers first.” Leaning back, he smirked down at you, the fingers that were gripping your thighs squeezed once before one hand inched up closer to your pussy. “So, be good and spread those legs a little more for me.”

“Aw, don’t you have enough room?” you teased before gasping as Rafael’s thumb pressed down on your clit without warning. “Rafi!”

“I suppose I could make you cum just from this but I really want to fuck you with my fingers,” he growled lowly. “Don’t you want to feel my fingers inside you?” He moved his thumb in a circular motion alternating between pressing down and barely any pressure, his other hand slipped up under your shirt to tease along the underside of your breast. “Come one, Carino, don’t you want my fingers inside you?”

“Yes, fuck yes,” you nodded.

“Then spread your legs,” he ordered. You unwrapped your legs from around his waist, opening them wide biting your lip at the look in Rafael’s eyes. It didn’t matter how many times you saw it; it still took your breath away to see him look so hungrily at you. “Good. Girl.”

Rafael kissed you as he slowly teased you by pressing the tips of two of his fingers into you before taking them out and then inserting them again just a little further each time. Each time he pulled them out he stroked them upwards and rubbed at your clit with his thumb drawing out whines and gasps from you in between kisses. He knew exactly how to work you; he could bring you to the edge but never let you tip over.  He left his fingers inside, stroking them against your walls drawing out your pleasure as he removed his thumb from your clit.

“Rafi,” you moaned leaning back from him your hips rolling as much as they could.

“You know, I have heard that orgasms are great for hangovers,” Rafael grunted nibbling on your bottom lip.

“That is true,” you whimpered a little, one of your legs moving to curl around his waist as your hands scratched at his back when his thumb pressed down on your clit rubbing it in circular movements again. “Ah, fuck!” tears started to form in your eyes as the pleasure built.

“That’s it, Chica,” Rafael encouraged. “Cum for me baby. You can do it, be a good girl and cum on my fingers.” Your walls clenched as your orgasm hit you, clamping down on his fingers. Your hips twitched as you clutched at Rafael tightly as you let your high run through you.

“Rafi,” you whined as his fingers continued to stroke you. He pressed a kiss to your lips, his tongue swiping into your mouth.

“Hm, fuck I love feeling you cum on my fingers,” Rafael whispered against your lips, slowly pulling his fingers out. He made sure your eyes were focused and on him when he put them in his mouth and sucked the wetness that clung to them. “Fuck you taste so good.”

“Come here,” you dragged him back to your lips, tongue licking into his mouth tasting yourself on his tongue as they twined together. “Fuck Rafi. You’re a menace.”

“Pay back,” he murmured before tugging your bottom lip between his, letting it go so he could kiss along your jaw and down your neck to make another mark.  “And I’ve been holding back since last night.”

You tilted your neck to the side allowing him more access to your neck as your other leg wrapped around his waist joining the other squeezing him tight. Your hands lightly running over the marks you left on his back, grinning a little at the shiver that ran through him.

“Rafi, I need you,” you whispered, running one of your hands up into his hair and tugging humming at the groan it pulled from him.

“Hmm, but I’m not done yet,” he pulled back lips pouting a little.

“You keep going at my neck like that and it’ll look like I was mauled,” you laughed, tapping his lips. “Plus, I need to get your cock in my mouth like now so…”

“Only if afterwards, I can take my time eating you out,” Rafael countered.

“You drive a hard bargain Mr Lawyer,” you rolled your eyes. “But I guess I can live with that.”

Rafael helped you down off the counter, using that as an opportunity to squeeze your arse and thighs again, sighing a little happily. His hands moved upwards, pulling the shirt up as he went, making a slight detour to lightly squeeze your breasts before throwing the shirt into the laundry basket. His hands trailed down your body again before you stepped away from him, backing towards the shower, reaching out blindly to turn it on.

“Boxers off mister,” you pointed. “Then you can get back to copping a feel.”

“A little hard to cop a feel while you’re on your knees,” he complained. “Why don’t you help me take my boxers off and I can cop a feel.”

“Always a lawyer,” you chuckled stepping towards him, before grinning cheekily and backing towards the shower again and crooking a finger at him. “Come on bub, boxers off or you won’t get to take your time eating me out.”

“I should hire you as my second chair,” he muttered as he pushed down his boxers before joining you under you under the warm spray of the shower. “Let you turn those amazingly, annoying negotiation skills on the defence. I’ll never have to go to trial again.”

“I don’t think that’ll happen,” you warned him.

“Oh, I don’t know, you got Liv to drink a shot by looking at her,” he shrugged. “I think you could get Buchan to agree to a deal.”

“Buchan…oh that big fella who is an absolute piece of shit?” you asked turning Rafael around so he was under the spray.

“That’s the one,” he nodded, hands pushing your hair away from your face, before they started stroking down your back. “Chica!” he whined as you dropped to your knees taking away his ability to touch you anywhere other than your head.

“I’m about to suck your cock and you’re whining?” you raised an eyebrow at him. “Got to say, I don’t think there are many men out there that would complain about getting their dick sucked.”

“That’s because those men are idiots and don’t know how to appreciate a gorgeous woman in-front of them,” he defended himself. “And dios do I appreciate you, with your-.”

You ignored his statements as you leaned closer to press a kiss to the head of his dick, causing him to cut off his statement with a curse. You looked up at him, grinning as you pressed kisses along the length of his cock, before licking up along the vein before you took it into your mouth. Swallowing around it as you took it down all the way to the root. Rafael wasn’t the only one who learnt how to play your body. Your hands held onto his thighs for balance as you moved up and down, swirling your tongue around the head, dipping into the slit before you swallowed it back down. This time only taking a small part each time you went down.

“Fuck,” Rafael moaned. “You’re so good with your mouth Chica.” Tangling one of his hands into your hair he tugged on it as you moved, his hips lightly thrusting to match your movements. “That’s it, you’re taking me so well.” Pulling all the way off, you smirked up at him as you trailed kisses along his length again.

“Bet you’re glad I talked you into this, huh?” you asked him as you pressed a kiss to his balls, quickly licking them before moving suck on his tip again, tasting some of the precum that was dripping from it.

“Hm, I think I would prefer this if I could be eating you out at the same time,” he mused.

“You’re impossible,” you sighed, before going back to sucking his dick.

One of your hands reaching to gently squeeze his balls, before you gently reached behind to stroke at the skin there. Rafael slumped against the wall the water hitting his chest and falling down to you, his eyes watching you burned with a hunger that he knew would never been fully satisfied.  His hand continued to tug on your wet hair, encouraging you to take him all the way down again and hold him in your throat, swallowing around his thick length.

“Carino, look at you,” his whispered in awe, his other hand stroking along your cheek before rubbing along your bottom lip, his thumb pushing in a little beside his cock before retreating. “Fuck you look gorgeous with your mouth so full.”

Your body warmed at the words coming from his mouth. You hadn’t really heard him dirty talk before, it was doing things to you. Your pussy was throbbing in need, suddenly you wished this was happening in a bed so you could feel his tongue inside you. Although, if that was happening you wouldn’t be seeing this side of him. You swallowed once more around him before pulling off so just his tip was inside your mouth.

“Fuck, gorgeous I am close,” he told you, pulling your hair a little rougher. “You going to swallow for me?”

You whimpered in response, focusing on his slit as you moved your hand back more, lightly rubbing it over his hole. The first time you did it was a slight accident but when you noticed how Rafael reacted you made sure to do it more often. You even thought about brining up an idea you had been having for a while but you weren’t really sure how to go about it. But for now, it was a good way to get him even more turned on as he got closer to finishing.

“Ah shit, close,” he whimpered, hips thrusting a little more as he got close. You hummed around his cock before you felt his orgasm fill your mouth, you moaned at the taste as you swallowed it down. Licking at the head as you pulled off to catch any stray drops.

“Not to copy you, babe but, fuck you taste good,” you stated pressing one last kiss on the head of his cock before an idea hit you. You ignored the way he tugged on your hair to try and get you to stand up instead you started kissing along the top of his right thigh. Biting at the skin, sucking on it to leave a mark, as you moved along it to his hip bone.

“And you’re a menace,” he moaned. “Come on stand up, please.”

“Aw, you’re begging?” you asked teasingly as you marked up his hip bone and then left a path of kisses along his stomach to his other hip bone to leave more markings. “And at least these can be hidden.”

“You like my markings,” he pointed out finally managing to get you to stand up as he pressed lightly against one of the markings on your neck.

“Not as much as you do,” you said stroking your hands up his stomach to wrap around his shoulders. Rafael grumbled a little as his hands found their way to your arse again, the grumbles turning to happy little hums. “You’re an easy man to please, you know that?”

“Hm, maybe,” he shrugged. “But it’s not like it could be used against me.”

“Really?” you asked as you attempted to step out of the shower but his hands tightened their grip on you tugging you against him under the stream. “Well, that’s rude.”

“Aw, don’t you like that I can hold you against me?”

“You know I enjoy how strong you are,” you leaned up to kiss him. “Just like I know how much you enjoy my arse, my thighs and my pussy.”