#and the (lovely) prose got in the way
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Realized the other day (while listening to a podcast about a book) that writing beautifully isn't really my aim. I don't aim to be quotable. I don't aim for beautiful prose.
I want to be functional. I want the words to disappear so thoroughly that my readers can see and hear my characters. As a writer, I want to be nearly invisible.
And you know what? That realization gave me some peace and cured some of my feelings of inadequacy.
#i found the book they were discussing to be beautifully written#but it felt like i was always kept an arm's length from the story#i wanted to be enfolded by the story#and the (lovely) prose got in the way#and i know my prose isn't beautiful like that#but i think i tell a good story#and draw folks in#writing#stfu kit
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At this point I don't think Teruki's parents are exceptionally horrible individuals (long-term psychological consequences still happen in cases in which the abuse isn't considered particularly severe + everyone is capable of harm, even "good" people), but they weren't the best, without a doubt.
Okay, they got too busy with their jobs and had to move overseas to progress on their career. External circunstances. Things that happen. They left their son behind, but that could always be justified by hectic schedules of ever-moving businesspeople. How else could he have a stable routine to focus on his future? They're just busy. Teruki hasn't seen them in long but that's not their fault, right?
They cared for Teruki, didn't they? His parents made sure that there was someone home to watch him whenever they were far away. It was inevitable that there would be times he would be with himself, though. But that's not bad! It only became a problem once those strange espers tried to take hold of him on the street. And even then, they were so weak he could barely give them the title of a psychic. It wasn't an issue that it happened more and more and there was no one to intervene. Or that Teruki had to torture descriptions of "Claw organization" and "brainwashed soldiers" out of these grownups to know what they wanted with him. His parents couldn't know. Why should they know? Better put: what could they do?
What could a normal person do against someone with psychic powers?
It was Teruki's choice to live by himself. He could manage it all. Contrary to the other kids, he was an independent and responsible young man who could be trusted with a house and money. Such a great boy. His parents were so proud to have someone as competent as him as a son, one which wouldn't mean hard work for them. One who always had the best grades and was the soccer team's best player and was the best student on the town's best middle school.
Of course they would suddenly allow Teruki to live on his own. Any parent with a child like him would, wouldn't they? Anyone on their right mind and who knew the slightlest about him would be sure he could do it.
And even if this "Claw" organization scared him a bit and he felt a bit lonely at times, it wasn't an issue. Issue would mean it was an obstacle - which it wasn't, as Teruki did perfectly on his own. His parents believed on so. That's why he had his own apartment at 12 on the first place. Teruki was so wonderful at this. It wasn't horrible if they didn't answer his calls, because they were so busy and he wasn't a little kid who depends on his mommy. None of this was their fault. He shouldn't bother them or himself over this.
Because they cared, right? On the end, it was only a pile of tragic circunstances and coincidences no normal person could act against. It was part of life as someone special like him. He couldn't expect that his parents could change any of this, and this made his loneliness the best possible choice. It was obvious that they would support such a decision.
What would a normal person do against someone with psychic powers?
#this was supposed to be a short description of how I imagine the Hanazawas but I got carried away with the prose#I suppose I'll leave some of the original idea here on the tags#for some reason Teruki's parents seem to be the type of absent parents who do care about their children#yet they don't have the slightlest ability to provide a happy and healthy life besides the generic ideal of a perfect kid#a kid who has a nice home and money to have fun and is physically healthy and has good grades#and their son is so special. of course they would brag about him at any opportunity to do so because it shows how they're good parents#yet they don't put any extra effort on caring for their kid besides this “minimum”. why would they? isn't he happy enough?#they gave such a damn perfect life for him! look how great he is doing by himself! look how he is an amazing kid!#and they say it like an irritatingly oblivious owner talks about their pet dog who has clear behavior and health issues#and their lack of emotional effort and actual care for teruki's wellbeing is so morbidly comical it warps into not being even funny#its just painful and absurd and they don't have an idea on how their choices are absolutely crazy bad#because there is no way you could be implying they're bad parents. they love teruki so much#mp100#mob psycho 100#teruki hanazawa#lalá rambling...
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Recently read hell take us, heaven can wait by KivaEmber. Am now obsessed with the idea of Demi-Fiend Akechi Goro. Sometimes all you gotta do to solve your daddy issues is to just nearly die and then get turned into a half demon in the most traumatizing way possible.
If you wanna read it, link is below the read more
#my art stuff#goro akechi#persona 5#shin megami tensei#smt nocturne#kinda#imma be honest no clue where the plot is headed#plus fair warning the last time the fic was updated was 2021 so#don’t read if you want something that��ll get completed anytime soon#that being said this author has got SUCH a nice writing style like ooo la la the PROSE#also love how goro calls akira his other half#absolute poetry#when I drew this I was like the duality of goro#one of them is “haha of course I’m a human’’ goro#the other is full demi fiend goro#stripes and all#which i did base on Loki’s stripe patterns#as nice as naoki’s pattern is#it is WAY too blocky for goro#htuhcw
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2024 reads / storygraph
Where The River Meets The Soul
cosy-ish fantasy, romance
follows a herbalist who decides to find a magical bloom with healing properties which has become rare in recent years, after her sister is diagnosed with a terminal illness
she travels to the city, and along with a friend and an heiress, discovers that reuniting two reincarnated ancient soulmates will restore the bloom
but when she encounters corruption and betrayal, and finds herself getting feelings for one of the soulmates, things get more complicated
ace MC, genderfluid LI
#Where The River Meets The Soul#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#this is…okay but kinda got away from itself.#It’s a bit all over the place; the pacing is odd; and POVs are inconsistent - especially being all in first person#(the labeling of chapters with [character]’s POV rather than just their name didn’t help either.) the prose is pretty uninteresting.#I thought the slow-paced first half was alright but then the plot got a bit more intense and it just kinda lost me.#In the middle it switches to the POV of the antagonist and it’s like - overly explaining why she makes the decisions she does#but also in a way that just makes no sense?#I feel like it would have been better for us to find out about her betrayal along with the MCs rather than#suddenly giving us a bunch of her POV to show why she’s suddenly evil now.#Also there’s a bit where she finds her father’s secret journal titled: my secret journal lmao. (not quite literally but also BASICALLY that#I liked some of the main characters; it’s nice to have Black main characters in a cozy-adjacent fantasy; and an ace MC and genderfluid love#I liked the subversion of soulmates even if I think that could have been done a bit more interestingly.#The reincarnated soulmates stuff felt like it took over most of the story yet somehow was also just a background thing.#Also - the MC barely thinks about her dying sister at all? Not even at the end!#I mainly read this because the MC is ace and her being ace is basically mentioned once.#(other than I guess the nature of the romance having no sex).#Which is fine but it probably wasn’t worth reading for that for me personally lol.
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hrgh every time I think I've come close to forgiving lance fucking parkin I skim the gallifrey chronicles. and then I remember the Horrors.
#listen bc when I read through and play around with AHistory I'm inclined to enjoy and respect his work as a curatative fan historian#but his actual prose writing#it. it beggars belief it truly does it's just atrocious#megan whines into the empty abyss of cyberspace#everyone in the EDA discord who thinks father time is the worst of it oh boy babes the worst is absolutely yet to come#like I get *why* they gave him the last book of the line because he does (mostly) know his lore extremely well#so it kind of makes sense that he'd be picked to wrap up all the myriad loose ends#and also he's well liked and afaik pretty personable unlike some fuckers I could name and didn't spend years burning bridges#but oh my god oh my god literally everything to do with Fitz and Trix is just. awful. terrible.#guy who absolutely does not understand or respect any of the three of that team TARDIS but especially Fitz#also The Thing With Sam#never happened fuck you lance#also given just how many asspats he gives himself over his command of the lore he fucking got Sam's middle name wrong?!#also it's soooo obvious how much he loves Anji because she's a Capitalist GirlbossTM#he really does not grasp her character development or personal arcs but he thinks he's killing it#like she *is* a Capitalist GirlbossTM but that's not all she is but he's not actually interested in her interiority at all#he just enjoys that she's a fiscal conservative#god the fact that trading futures is the literal very next book after Anachrophobia#one of the best books in the series that explicitly calls out Anji's pro-capitalism stance using time-war-for-profit played for utter horro#immediately followed by...almost the exact same premise but Zany RompTM#it's not that capitalists misusing time travel for profit is inherently bad it's just *these guys* who suck#no lesson is learned! then you fucking get to the fucking gallifrey chronicles and Fitz actually deciding that this very same scheme#'wasn't perhaps unethical' just because it's Trix and Anji doing it#like yeah sure Anji and Trix can have a little insider trading. as a treat. but that is literally the definition of unethical lol#the only reason time traveling to acquire stock tips isn't massively illegal is because it's not fucking real like??#of-fucking-course it's unethical you walnut#parkin you smug annoying self-obsessed lore-obsessed pregnancy-obsessed just barely-plausibly deniably not homophobic asshole#I'm avoiding even bringing up the actual beef with TGC because first of all everyone fucking knows but also it's just.#it's such a goddamn shit awful trainwreck#if parkin wasn't a Fitz-hating homophobic coward he would've ended the gallifrey chronicles the same way he ended the dying days. wink.
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examples of Jakurai hsbing foot in mouth syndrome?? 😂 /pos
exhibit a!!!!!! in rhyme anima➕, he was tasked to be a good host in that bb/mtr/bat episode and showed off that jakurai charm to the point she was speechless!!!!! and not in a good way lmao!!!!
and it can be directly compared to hitoya’s rizz that we see in the next scene, where he also provided consultation services as his attraction point, but not only did he provide good advice, he also poured and mixed her drink for her like whew!!! 😮💨😮💨😮💨
if the canonicity of rhyme anima bothers you, you also have that scene of the same vibe during kuujaku posse’s drama track (the second one is what my brain tells me lol) where ramuda gets hypmic’s og high functioning disaster gay to pick up women and not only does he fail, he makes her run away from him lmao
exhibit b!!!!!! he got a hot date with hitoya in the block party tracks!!!!! they totally sounded like bfs who didn’t want to hang up the phone on each other until jakurai fumbled it lmao
exhibit c!!!!!! the most damaging!!!!! who knows what would have happened if jakurai, out of all the things he could have questioned ramuda about in the scene leading to their break up, chose not to pick at ramuda’s ‘realness’ as a being!!!!! but he did!!!! even tho ramuda, caught in the lie, looked to be willing to bare something of himself to jakurai who is on the record of wanting to see the real him btw!!!!!
i hope this is sufficient evidence of jakurai inability to talk to people without fcking it up in some way lmao thanks for coming to my ted talk LOL
#vee got an ask#the ye ol argument of jakurai who sucks at communicating vs ramuda who is very good at it (and can manipulate it too)#and yet ramuda’s humanity was brought into question hm hm hm#(all negated anyway by their occasional callousness towards humans lol fr they made quite the pair)#unrelated but stage jakurai was cold in way i hadn’t really seen since we were first introduced to him in canon and i miss it sometimes lol#like i like how jakurai is compared to light and light brings warmth#but he also has god imagery imposed on him and there’s prose upon prose of writers feeling like a god’s love can be distant and cold HHHHH—#i miss jakurai brainrot sometimes lmao
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there isn’t a single universe in which dhes graduates from college…
#even in the college AU he drops out lol#guy was not built for school#straight c student. bare minimum effort. could not give a shit.#still no computer for me :-(#i did go to the river yesterday though & found some cool rocks!!#also finally got around to watching love lies bleeding…..#definitely a movie i’m gonna have to add to my collection#n e way#gonna try to catch up on stuff later today & maybe q some things#might rb some old stuff for dhes’ birthday. we’ll see.#my main goal today is to work on slaughter house.#i have reached the like. scene planning stage finally so#i’ve been trying to write some sentences here & there to kinda get a feel for what the prose will be like#progress is slow#but there is progress#rainyrambles
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read a gay orc romance trilogy (the orc prince by Lionel Hart) and find it funny and sweet how the orc guy turns down sex the first time bc they don't know each other well enough yet (arranged marriage), then just before the series climax (hah) the orc guy nuts in the MC and then immediately starts crying just love when big scary guys subvert expectations and cry during sex bc they love their partner so much
#nsft text#I have mixed feelings on the series#loved the first two but then the author apparently took some bad critism to heart bc it went from a clean simple style#to taking a HARD turn to a more detailed style that the author was CLEARLY less experienced with.#took ti from 'this has no right to be so great' to something I found painful enough to set down for weeks on end#there was halfway into the last book where the author seemed to have figured it out but that was NOT an appropriate time to try out a#new prose style. THE LAST BOOK YOU CHANGE STYLE????????? WHAT THE FUCK#ignoring that my main issue was smut got repetitive and the orc got too detached to his homeland WAY too easily#tfw u get elf bussy so good u immediately start thinking about the elf country's needs more than ur own where ur family is#but the characters were very delightful and fun together#its one of those romances which you NEED to mesh with the main character's personalities or you WILL get bored#I liked them
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nothing like staying up aggressively late to finish a book that you don't realize till halfway through is kind of infuriating and wrong and yet you have to see the end so you can close the lid on the fury vs. the healing joy of going off to read a book and then reading it all in one sitting because it was glorious and exactly suited to what you needed to read at that moment!
#this is a true story btw#i wanted this book to be good so badly#it is very popular atm and it drew me in with the promises of game development & friendship and my eyes lit UP#and the first third is indeed a beautiful meditation on friendship!#but then i spent the last 2/3 being full of rage because one of the two protagonists just....turns around and decides to hate the other one#with nary a thought of explaining it. and yes i did self-id too closely with the other protag#but it was a fun stupid haze of fury that i was reading through to figure out how they finally dealt with it#only they didn't REALLY and it just was basically unacknowledged and i guess meant to be inspiring and true to lifelong friendships#but aghhhhhfdkhfj if it didn't raise my ire in every way#it was well written don't get me wrong but i got SO upset and then it is just! unresolved!#and me who likes cathartically sad or happy or bittersweet endings only haaates to be left with unresolved grey area ones#but then i got to totter off and go read a very short sweet patricia mckillip book and all is well now >:D#i was just reading it with my mug of cocoa in my hand going i love u mystically beautiful prose! i love you strange dreamy fantasy!#(part of me is also wondering if i could read 13 books between now and the end of the year to fulfill my 100)#(at the rate with that tiny little book [winter rose] and beauty next week it's....possible actually? but anyway.)#reading tag#a fun silly little story probably only funny to me but you're all hearing it despite that
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So I'm building a tiny mix between a flip & write game and an incremental game, but it's actually interactive fiction written in ink?
And also you build your own adversary and I'm just kind of writing them with a vague "aren't they super hot? Why are they hot?" energy
But playing the game and winning means brutally killing your adversary through metaphorical game actions so there's that
#wtf is interactive fiction anyways#so yeah i've found a way to like#merge all of my game design passions into one package#unfortunately#that package is super fucking weird#but its got some ttrpg energy#some videogamey optimization and discovery of options#orb of creation my beloved#and prose because i love prose even though i'm a terrible writer#and some boardgamey mechanics mixed in there#i guess it's going to be kind of a roguelike also#but evidently i hate myself because i'm writing all of this in ink#which is selfcare actually#code crimes simulator 2025 apparently#this earth is a lawless wasteland#and i am its fairy queen riding my 600cm3 24 cylinder hell bike doing a wheelie all the way down that huge ass road#furiosa type of behaviour#i haven't seen the new mad max which is dumb because apparently it's the feminist one
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I forgot to post anything about this, but I did the scene where I had to read some of my writing to the dnd party (twice!) and they were SO nice about it. I couldn't stop smiling. (which was kind of a weird disconnect since the scenes were super dark, lmao.) But augh, I'm so glad they were nice to meeee. My poor boy Rook is Going Through It right now, and things are about to get worse.
Next session we also might get to do our first version of ship combat using the rules I made which is kind of wild. I'm very nervous, but I feel like after this last session and sharing stuff I wrote with them (out loud!!!) I can handle it. Probably.
#morrigan.text#I literally couldn't sleep saturday night because I was too nervous-cited for the session. But it actually went really well.#for everyone tbh. Not just me. Everyone knocked it out of the park with their obituaries for the dead PC and it was great.#we even made his player cry asdkjaskdjasd.#Rook's obituary was a train wreck but that's the whole point of it so like I accomplished my goal lmao.#everyone was SO mad at him it was kind of funny.#he stared down a FUMING ancient moon dragon and didn't get turned to ice so that's good.#my beloved idiot bastard man. he does NOT deserve the shit I'm putting him through right now.#mmm maybe I'll rewrite the scene where he stared down the moon dragon bc it was really intense and is much less monologue-y than the eulogy#which will make it easier to write. I suck at writing monologues into proper prose form.#anyways.#morrigan plays dnd#campaign: the vanguard#also... the fact that Rook literally JUST got done saying how no one needs him and then this fucking dragon (who is FURIOUS with him rn) is#like ''I'm not killing you because your friends need you and I need you''... god. My oblivious little baby boy. What the fuck Rook.#Accept that your friends love you goddammit.#and then the party bard who Rook has been beefing with for weeks was actually really nice to him??? and that fucked him up too.#but he still left the party (intending to only be gone a day) to think about shit and also grieve for his mentor who turned out to be evil.#since he knows no one in the party liked that guy anyways and they did violently murder him in front of Rook...#So next session Rook has ANOTHER funeral (kind of) and he also is gonna get kidnapped.#and Val gets to show up!!!! Val my beloved!!! I'm very excited to play them but I have no idea how the fuck to play them off.#they're the complete opposite from Rook in every way and Rook is easy for me to play. So Val will be... a challenge.#I'm not cut out to play characters who are genuinely good people lmao.
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im now 50% through fsp and its like well, when i had the novel pitched to me initially i was expecting something kind of more serious than what i got….but idk what i expected when i already dont like entertainment industry focused plotlines
#im only gonna read until 120 chapters i already know i wont really care too much to read about the other side rship#but let me get on my intellectual high horse for a second#like i thought it’d be more serious in a kinda wuzhe way? if that makes any sense#like grounded in the everyday but also kind of depressing realism#but also still very hopeful at the end of the day#especially because everyone was raving about how fjx & pts speak about their lives#through the frameworks of philosophy and mathematics#and what i got its like. well. okay. it’s fine.#not exactly any fun prose or good ideas to really chew on#very much so typical entertainment novel with just a little more depth than usual lol#and the ‘tragic background makes me not believe in love ever’ is so uninspired#sorrryyy this is harsh but i dont hate it. it’s just fine lol#annie.txt
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Can I be beautifully honest with you guys? I hate 91 Whiskey and So Says the Sword
#no hate to the author cause I actually liked a one shot of theirs#but like man these fucking suck#so so boring and pointlessly long#in SSTS nothing happens and it’s boring because it’s all ridiculous purple prose that tells and doesn’t show#you can set it up with Cas being emotionless as an angel and then gains emotions when he falls in love#but he has to actually gain those emotions and you can’t just tell me what a beautiful and masterful love story you’re writing#you have to actually write it#in 91W it’s all troop movements and militaristic bullshit that I don’t care about because I know Dean and Cas will be fine#and they haven’t shown me enough about literally any other character to make me give a fuck if they live or die#great. Inias will get killed off. maybe I would care more if it weren’t so predictable and also if Cas weren’t just an asshole to him#for no reason#which brings me to my second point of jesus fucking christ 91W is so OOC#crazy take I know but Cas is not randomly an asshole! maybe he is at first but then he changes because he’s in love with Dean and he’s never#like. snappy and grouchy this is So OOC and it makes it painful to read because why should I care about someone who’s mean and cruel#all the time#I’m not saying Cas is an angel (pun half intended) all the time but I don’t think he’s cruel#and moreover I think they’ve just got Cas and Dean flipped. Dean would be perfect for the grouchy military commander in the late seasons#kind of way where he’s an ass to everyone due to grief#and Cas would make a great medic; caring about humanity to his detriment#this way around it’s just painful to watch Cas piss off Dean who is somehow more emotionally literate??? in what world#it’s just fucking boring and painful and Cas is not the one with internalised homophobia let’s be real#I would love to see 1940s era repressed queer Dean but no; I’m stuck with asshole Cas freaking out over being a fairy#and taking it out on Dean!#do you seriously think that corresponds to canon Cas’ reasons for repressing his feelings for Dean? answer quickly#anyway. rant over I will continue hate reading it so I can see if it gets good#but at this point the smut isn’t even good enough to justify it so. idk why I’m wasting my time#anne speaks#please someone say they agree with me or otherwise I’ll feel like I’m going insane#the whole fandom loves SSTS especially and I’m here like. well that sucked
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Im sick with flu so naturally I picked up my newly bought copy of Howl's Moving Castle which includes DWJ interviews in the back.
And im in love with the way she tells these stories feels like a part of her books.
And my favorite:
The magic in the mundane :)
edit: I'm copying the ID by @princess-of-purple-prose below, thank you!
[ID: Excerpts of printed text which read:
I suppose there's also a biographical element in that Sophie is the eldest of three sisters, and so am I. The idea for Sophie grew out of the time I discovered I had a very severe milk allergy. I almost lost the use of my legs and had to walk with the aid of a stick. I was moderately young, but because of this I suddenly became old.
I had to wait until I knew what Wizard Howl was like. I began to discover Howl about the time when one of my sons took to spending several hours in the bathroom every morning and I got really, really, really annoyed with him.
Where were you when you wrote it? I wrote the book the way I write everything, stretched out on the big sofa in my sitting room, in everyone's way. This often annoys my husband rather a lot.
which made me burst out laughing. I laughed and laughed at the seven league boot, and when I came to the bit where Sophie accidentally makes Howl's suit twenty times too big for him, I laughed so much that I fell off the sofa. My husband was really irritated by this time. He snapped, "You can't be making yourself laugh!" And I gasped, "But I am, I am!" and rolled about on the floor.
Are any of your relatives or friends included in the book? Yes, well the thing that started me off writing the book was a friend of mine who never does her laundry. She has it around the place in huge bags for often as much as a year. When she does tip it all out and try to wash it, she discovers all sorts of clothes that she has forgotten she had.
Which is your favourite part of the book and why? I like the book all over, but I suppose if I had to choose a bit, I'd choose the place where Howl gets a cold. It so happened that when I was writing this bit, my husband caught a bad cold. He is the world's most histrionic cold catcher. He moans, he coughs, he piles on the pathos, he makes strange noises, he blows his nose exactly like a bassoon in a tunnel, he demands bacon sandwiches at all hours, and he is liable to appear (usually wrapped in someone else's dressing gown) at any time, announcing that he is dying of neglect and boredom. So all I had to do was write it down. End ID]
#howl's moving castle#hmc#hmc book#diana wynne jones#i havent seen some of these before and its a delight#not art#wow i didnt expect this to get so many notes lol#all the people in the tags who decided to read the book because of this post <3<3<3#sheb rereads hmc
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THE SWEET, FAR THING — NSFW TEASER
Knight!Kyojuro x Princess!Reader • Royal AU
A/N: surprise! It’s been so long since I’ve posted any Kyojuro content, and this fic has been my quiet project since originally teased. I love royal AUs, and I love a good forbidden love story.
Enjoy a first look at some of the spicy, smutty goodness to come in The Sweet, Far Thing. But be warned: these two blue ball the living daylights out of each other for several chapters. This fic will be one of the first breaks in my usual pattern of letting characters bone the first chapter.
You can read the prologue and find links to the other teasers HERE
CW: MDNI • explicit sexual content • grinding • lots and lots of sexual tension • Kyojuro’s got self control but it’s rapidly fraying • Reader’s a bit of a brat
shoutout to @tearmint for letting me flood their DMs with this
The scroll of containing the young Lord Agatsuma’s flowery prose lies forgotten on the floor, hidden beneath the layers of Kyojuro’s discarded uniform. Across the polished wood floor, you’ve been hoisted by your Knight into a distant corner of your room, your legs wrapped firmly around his bare waist.
The great roaring fire in your hearth bathes the dark room in an orange glow. Its flickering brilliance, however, seems dull in comparison to the flames in Kyojuro’s eyes as he grinds his bare member harder against your drenched sex.
He grunts as he ruts his hips into yours, mimicking the movements you’re so desperate for him to make while he’s buried inside you. He leans forward and catches your lips in a bruising kiss. Another thrust, and the thick, leaking head of his cock nearly snags at your entrance.
You gasp into his mouth just as he moans into yours. For one, foolish moment, you hope he will cast caution into the flames where it belongs and finally make his claim on you.
But Kyojuro’s self-restraint will forever be the bane of your existence, for he twists swiftly out of reach, the blunt head of his cock instead shoving into the crease of your thigh. He breaks your kiss with a ragged pant, though he resumes his desperate, jolting rut.
Your nails bite into the thick, corded muscles of his shoulders as Kyojuro’s length passes through your wetness again, though slower than before. There is a shadow of a smirk on his lips as he studies you, brow furrowed, your mouth pulled into a faint pout as you buck into him.
You will catch him; you will take him into your body, and then you will be his. He just needs to stay still —
“My Flame,” Kyojuro leans in and nips the soft spot beneath your ear in warning. “Stop.”
“Please,” you try and guide him back to your entrance, your fingers fisting in his hair to force his obedience.
Kyojuro seals his moan against your throat as your nails graze his scalp, but he stills your efforts by pressing you harder into the wall. The solid weight of him only flames the ache of your longing.
He pulls his face away from your neck. Despite the flush of his cheeks, his eyes remain sharp. “I cannot have you. You know this.”
“You can,” you insist with a demanding roll of your hips. “I command it.”
You try once more to maneuver your way back to him, to coax his thick, turgid length right where you need him most, but Kyojuro tenses. Slowly, he unsticks himself from where he’d pressed you solidly to the wall, shifting his arms out from under your legs, returning your feet gently back to the floor.
“If that is your command, your Highness, then you will have to send me back to the barracks for punishment. For I cannot obey.”
Kyojuro tries to turn away, but you catch his forearm, your fingers digging insistently into its thick muscle.
“Why?” And his heart strains at the plea in your tone. “Why must you continue to deny me? I would give you all of me, if you’d only allow it.”
Kyojuro guides you back into his arms, his lips pressed to your forehead until his mark is seared into your skin, before pulling away. He brushes a knuckle across your cheek. “Can this not be enough? Is it not enough that I risk your ruin — never mind my own head — so that we might be close like this? Are you so unsatisfied?”
You jerk away from him, swatting his hand from your face. “Yes. Because I have told you I care not about any pompous lord or prince of a distant land. I want you. Completely.” You know you are doing yourself no favors by acting like the spoilt, petulant princess you’d always tried so very hard not to be, but Kyojuro’s rejection strikes at some soft, unguarded part of you, and you are too easily bruised. “Yet you continue to only give me half of you.”
Kyojuro bristles, eyes narrowed. “I have lain with you in every sense of the word —“
“Except for how I desire you most,” you finish, cool, so as not to let the bitterness of your disappointment show. “You have had my body in every other way, yet this is where you draw the line?”
Kyojuro’s shoulders are rigid as he snatches his tunic from the foot of your bed. “Do not trivialize yourself for the sake of your argument. You know as well as I that the kingdom’s viability rests entirely on your marriage prospects.”
You storm to his side, still as nude as the day you were born, your loose hair spilling down your bare breasts. You plant your hands on either side of his face and twist, forcing him to meet your stare head-on. “I would marry you. I will march before my father this moment and declare I will have no other.”
You press your body against his, every soft, unblemished curve of you molding perfectly with the solidness of him. Though his limbs are rigid with restraint, he cannot stop himself from cradling your face between his palms.
A muscle in his jaw feathers. “Princess —“
“I dream of you inside me,” you breathe against his lips. Kyojuro’s fingers curl into your cheeks, and his breath turning ragged. “Every night, I dream of it; of how you might lay me back against the bed and make me yours. How you would feel, sheathed within me.”
“Y/N,” his desperate plea is little more than a gasp of air; a whimper for mercy you will not give.
You dig deeper into the wound you’ve opened. “I dream of you putting your claim in me.” You stretch tall on your toes, pressing your lips just below the notch in his throat. “I would carry your child for all the kingdom and those beyond to see. I dream of it so fervently that I am aching when I awake.”
You tease up the length of his neck, kissing his chin once, twice, before settling on his mouth. He indulges you with a soft, pleading moan. His tongue brushes your bottom lip right before you break away.
“You desire me; that much is clear.” Your fingers trail down his torso, finding your proof where it stands taut against his abdomen. “Do you not dream the same?”
Of course he did.
It is his most dangerous, most treasured fantasy. One he’d held even long before he ever began training to be a knight, back when he’d been young and foolish and dreamed of marrying not the Princess of his beloved kingdom, but his dear childhood friend. The girl he trailed after during her family’s lavish feasts, stealing away with her under tables to watch revelers drink and dance and sparkle the way all adults seem to, when one is young. And as he laughed as you would sneak a small hand out from beneath the table’s cover to tickle some lord or lady’s ankle and startle them, he imagined one day whisking you out onto the dance floor. He, in some handsome, smart finery he’d seen the other young lords wear; you, resplendent in the finest of gowns, a crown of jewels sat atop your head.
It is all he has ever wanted; to have you, openly. His love and devotion to you a display that did not have to be concealed in the shadowy corners of your chambers.
But he’d always known it could never come to pass. It was why he’d been able to hold back, even when you were as you are now, bare before him, demanding he lay you out on your bed and claim you for good.
Your thumb strokes his cheek. “Will you continue to deny me? When you swore an oath to serve me?”
You were not his to possess; to love. You belonged to the kingdom and its people. Your people.
Not him. Never him.
You know his answer before he speaks it; can see it in the way his eyes lift to yours, pained yet resigned. Kyojuro withdraws reluctantly, his hands dropping to your wrists before stepping away from you entirely.
“I serve the kingdom.”
He doesn’t need to clarify. Not you.
Kyojuro would rather swallow his own sword than raise a hand to you; you know that. Yet his words are an ugly, vicious slap and you recoil all the same.
The sharp bite of your nails into your palms is all that helps you keep your voice steady, even as embarrassment warms your cheeks.
“If that is your answer,” you swallow once, and force your chin high. “Resume your post then, Sir Rengoku. You’re not needed here.”
He makes as though to say something more, to protest, fight back, do anything that might prove someone in this castle cares for you, not merely what you represent. But even Kyojuro, kind, sweet, loyal Kyojuro cannot elevate you above his own duties. He cannot be fully yours.
Instead, his hand balls at his side. “As you wish, your Highness.”
You’ve put your back to him now, too prideful to allow him to see the silly tears burning in your eyes under the sting of his rejection. Even as your fingers find your dressing robe, the material sliding silkily over your shoulders as you conceal your bare body from sight, you can imagine the curt nod of his head; the ease with which he slips back into his mask as Captain of your guard.
A small, childish part of you longs to lob one of the small pillows decorating your bed right at his head. You opt instead, however, to stare into the fire burning merrily in your lavish hearth.
You try not to linger too long on the way the flames dance like his hair in the wind; how its warmth caressing your face feels dangerously close to his hands; his lips.
Behind you, Kyojuro silently gathers his own abandoned attire. Your ears are painfully tuned into every snap of leather, every shift of metals as he completes his metamorphosis with careful precision.
He cannot help but hesitate as he dresses, silently willing you to face him, to say something — anything — but the only sound that passes between you are the ones of him preparing to leave. Again.
Resigned, he makes his final adjustments to his uniform, his armor, and then slips quietly to your chamber door. He chances one, last hopeful glance back at where you stand before the hearth before pulling the door shut.
You do not turn around.
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Bath sex pt.3
Because I'm feeling like headcanons, and these are fun! :>
Ayato, kazuha, gorou
Tw/cw: nsfw content, afab!reader, gn!pronouns, creampie
Ayato
🌱. LISTEN. This mans bath is no joke, i swear. He has the biggest tub, so its comfy for both of you together, and he's got all the best bath products. You, my dear, are having the bath of a lifetime
🌱. 100% will indulge himself in some tea and unwind with you in the tub, if you're at all interested that is. He's got back up plans, if you wanted something a little more... Intimate
🌱. Will have you leaned against his chest as he works his fingers in you, his lips brushing against your ear as he watches, whispering his thoughts for you to hear, "my... Look at how your pussy swallows my fingers, hm? Lovely, isn't it... Such a good little hole."
🌱. If it does get into straight up fucking in the tub, it's large yes but i imagine he'd want to admire the view of you riding him, his hands guiding your hips as he leans back to take it in, a thumb finding your clit as he smirks at you knowingly...
Kazuha
🌱. Our dearest poet would take his time in the bath, regardless of if it's cramped or not. If you're lucky enough to be in inazuma though, it's likely you'll be in a hot spring.
🌱. He'll be thorough in his loving of you, if you find yourself taking a bath together. His fingers would trace over your skin, and between loving kisses he'd breathe out poetry he'd written for you
🌱. Overall, very soft and gentle. His hips would be rocking into you slowly yet firmly from behind, his lips kissing across your shoulder blades, a faint smile across his lips as he whispers, "you're moans might be my favorite form of prose, love."
🌱. Definitely makes sure you're feeling good, too. A hand reaching down to gently circle your clit, the hot spring waters only serving to make the motions easier. Likely due to the nature of hot springs, the sounds you two make would also carry quite well (aka, you're loud and for a distance.)
Gorou
🌱. Our general! He'd be quite needy with you in the bath, probably having run it as a way to clean up from your earlier rounds... Unfortunately, seeing you exposed and dripping with water has him worked up again .
🌱. His bath is likely nothing luxurious, a little cramped even when its split between the two of you, but he's absolutely determined to make it work! He'll take his time finding whatever position is most comfortable for you both
🌱. Once he's satisfied with that though.... He's pounding away at you, whimpering softly and oh so needy, desperate to make you cum first as he fingers at your clit
🌱. If he succeeds in his goal of making you cum, he'll become even needier before reaching his own peak, biting down on his lip or your skin to try and silence his sounds as he cums inside of you<3 so much for getting cleaned up...
#genshin x reader#genshin smut#: ̗̀➛whiskey in a teacupೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact smut#ayato x reader#ayato smut#ayato x reader smut#kazuha x reader#kazuha x reader smut#kazuha smut#gorou x reader#gorou smut#gorou x reader smut#fem!reader
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