#and thats not to say communication isnt important bc it is you have to be on the same page about what stage youre at

[c-kiddo]

just saw someone misread kamen and fionas relationship so bad someone hold me back

[girlcrushau]

[cpyclopse]

I started crocheting and I made some gay flowers for my gay books!

Im about to rant about flowers and gay people so when youre done looking at my awsome flower book marks scroll if you dont wanna read like 4 paragraphs

So fun facts about these flowers in case you didn't already know!! As we all know some flowers mean different things (you can go deeper with floriography which is so neat) and they are just generally used in symbolism. We know lillies, specifically white ones, are used for funerals (at least in the west) and red Roses are for love we assign flowers and plants for roles often times by their looks, locations, and histories.

First we will talk about the Violet. So back in yee olden days in ancient Greece around 600-500 bce there was a poet named Sapho. She is important for a couple reasons 1) she was a woman and misogyny has been around since before Jesus (literally) ancient greece had some cool stuff and had some cool policies like that they (from what ive read) were pretty considerate of different religions even having some temples for immagrants for them to pray in but they also had stuff like slavery and generally hated women. And 2) she was the first ever documented woman who explicitly liked other women and wrote about it.

Sapho, being the pretty popular poet she was, made poems about her love of women and in one of them she talked about a beautiful woman wearing violets. That line is where we get the connection of violets to lesbians (and wlw people in general). People have refrenced her violets a lot in history some have also used diffrent purple flowers as well to show their love to other women.

Next we got the Pansy. This connection has been around for at least a little over a 100 years. Pansy has been used as an insult for queer men bc theyre delicate flowers and such and grrr flowers are feminine men are are big and strong hrumph. The term "pasny craze" was made in like the 20s bc queer people were really coming full swing well not really but more and more people knew of our existence and they weren't happy about it (shocker i know). To sum it up its more of a reclaiming something that was used against us there was even a bar named after the flower. To add on there is another flower used to represent gay men and this one was a bit more like flagging. This being the Carnation(my personal favorite flower) specifically the green one. The one and only *Oscar Wilde* wore one in his breast pocket which in turn trickled down to the every day gay mans consciousness.

Maybe we should think about flowers more i know i do. I cant grow a garden bc i dont like to go outside and bc the sun here is evil but someone should grow a gay garden for me. That would make you a real horticulture lad *ba dum tisk*

Bla bla bla rant info dumping all in all i crocheted gay flowers and put them in their respective gay books

- xoxo gossip girl

[menofprogress]

Its important to remember that we dont actually see Viktor interacting with a lot of people he doesnt know outside of his zone of expertise. So that makes EVERYTHING from "viktor is shy and introverted" to "viktor is assertive and flirty".... a headcanon.

Like, you can draw conclusions from the infos we're given like: he was shy and quiet as a child, doesnt mean he has to be as an adult though. Hes assertive, confrontational and opinionated when it comes to his WORK (his and jayces first meeting, talking to mel, speaking in front of the council & to heimerdinger), doesnt necessarily mean hes like that in non-work related situations, when hes not in his ~comfort zone~. He's very animated and confident around jayce, but jayce is special. He's VERY assertive and physical post evolution, but can we really apply that to his whole personality? He keeps Sky at a distance, calling her Ms Young and ignoring her very obvious advances, but is that bc hes a pretty distant person in general or is he just gently trying to communicate his own disinterest to her? (Bc he does care about her, but he definitely isnt inviting or open to her) Hes obviously reluctant to have any sort of public attention on him, but is that bc he distrusts the ppl of piltover, is it shame due to perceived "weaknesses" or is it simple fear of public speaking?

What i want to say is that we have pretty limited canonical info about what Viktor is like socially. So some things simply rely on headcanons and yall gotta stop calling some of them ooc. "Viktor would never be shy or uncomfortable in a social situation, thats so ooc" "viktor never had any partners before jayce, he was probably a virgin" "viktor fucked his way through the academy" we literally dont know, so you just gotta roll with the hc you like best and the one that makes the most sense to YOU lmao

[imustbenuts]

nuts reading trigun in japanese 7 - filial piety, and meryl

my alternate readings/translation/interpretation of jp lines are for triangulation purposes and nothing else.

ch 10-12. a more general scattershot of a post than over analyzing the japanese texts this time round. i think meryl in these 3 chapters is the most interesting character for me. but mainly bc she seems to be carrying a baggage: her struggle with filial piety.

^OH's version

ソレが普通ですわよ That'd be the most common sense thing to do. それにもともと家訓からして『自立せよ』ですからね But our house's motto is to first be independent above all. ドライといえばドライなのかも Mine would just be dry beyond dry...

me: hm. an office lady in the context of being written in 1990s by a japanese guy. i understand.

(i actually prefer OH's version bc the implications of what shes saying is the exact same, but more importantly leads into this page)

いきついて見れば When I realized all that 何か大切なものを忘れてるのかも… Realized that perhaps I've forgotten something (filial piety) so important... 私… I...

(you can see how this raw translation fucking sucks. I'd reword it in a way that's along the lines of 'feeling so ashamed as to forget getting angry', but OH's version is a downright banger. 11/10 the implications of what she feels is still the exact same. love it a lot!)

right so.

filial piety.

filial piety for a lot of asians is... kind of hard to break down. but perhaps can be explained as "abandoning ones' parents is the worst sin one can do".

not being filial is an invitation to the most extreme judgement from relatives and outsiders in a society which upholds it as the absolute virtue. at least, for the most part. (late stage capitalism fucked it all up yayy)

abandonment can be in the form of presence and/or financial. if a child doesnt make bank to pay back for their parents raising them up, they're not filial. if a child is absent and not there to take care of their parent, thats not filial.

and not being grateful, not being filial, equals shame and warrants divine punishment. (check out folklores like momotaro and kaguyahime that touches on these themes)

meryl i think struggles with that bc shes likely an only child who is expected to work an office job after studying super hard for it, and is now living independently away from her parents. meaning, she is technically not present to take care of them, which in this context makes her feel immensely guilty.

to make matters worse, it sounds like shes one of those types where her parents possibly had to work a lot to pay for this and that, resulting in a severe lack of communication. so this compounds, and she can only write dry stuff in her mind.

milly, by the way, does not have this problem as much:

she has a lot of siblings who can shoulder the weight of it all together, so in terms of that filial piety stress shes not doing so bad.

Badwick, the focus of this arc, by the way, faces the same struggles with meryl:

i mentioned the financial part bc from how chill the parents are with him, i think its possible he was trying to sell the land for large sums of money for his parents to retire. theres an added level of resentment going on that complicates their dynamic, with a dead brother and a land that means too much to sell for any sum of money.

and also his parents are... too nice and understanding, jeez.

i dont think meryl has the resentment. i think her case was similar in that her parents worked hard to provide and kinda neglected her in the connection part.

ofc this might then bring up the question of, 'isnt filial piety kinda transactional?', and, yeah. it... frankly can be. some parents have weaponized it, knowing that a society which forces unconditional love and financial support from a child is a good retirement plan. and it sucks. nightow must have realized this and sidestepped it.

whether bc it will not be well received by the then jp audience or if he just doesnt want to tell a story about this, i dont know. there could also be the fact that the 90s was a bad time to be talking about securing retirement for parents when the economy was circling the drain.

trigun gets dark later. we are getting love and peace above all else, at least for now.

...hm something seems to be rising over the horizon. but we can deal with that later. domestic violence

also i think vash is the kind who would also be a filial son to rem. this aspect of him is just lurking silently in the background in hindsight. in a barrel.

(incidentally i think this is also why luida and brad got promoted to surrogate parents position in stampede. much to ponder ponder...)

[hypogryffin]

genuinely curious by what you mean by "jewish (factual)" in your tier list. i can assume for a couple what you mean (sophia as an example) but i dont see how the others could be like jewish-coded! interested in hearing your thoughts

link to the first post for claritys sake, but this is the tier in question:

ok so for clarification: i made the tier list a little while ago and then scheduled it for later to keep uploads consistent, something i usually do all the time but am not for this discussion for now. this means that by the day the tier list posted, i was already a few weeks or so divorced from the actual creation of it, so some of my opinions have changed (as i said in the og post, i was unsure on a good portion of the characters even when i first queued the list), and some of my reasonings behind placements have been lost to time and my silly little goldfish memory.

bc of this, as of now as im trying to find a distinct line between "jewish (factual)" and "jewish (based on vibes)", the criteria for "factual" is sort of murky. some placements in the category were serious, but a lot of them were also entirely for joking reasons, and i had moved on as soon as i was done laughing to myself without coming back to it.

all this is to say, i have no idea how to summarise it, so im going to explain everything i can remember about my thought process at the time so you can see where i was coming from.

SOPHIA:

yup 👍.

ok so for the uninformed, sophia is the name of a gnostic figure and the specifics change depending on the context of which ur referring to her in, but in judaism specifically sophia was given as a translated name for chokmah which is like a being thats like really important in kabbalah and considered like. this sort of i guess personification of divine wisdom?

anyways this is a concept that i doubt im anywhere near the first person to bring up, so im not gonna spend a lot of time on it like i will the things i havent heard other people talk about. like the whole "good friend of humanity" thing! judaism puts a lot of emphasis on kindness and care for other people and i think its important that thats so big for her character and for how jewish she can be read as. she is also jewish because i like her :^).

TATSUYA:

suffers endlessly because g-d hates *him*, specifically, and he hates g-d right back. jewish.

that was a joke. ok so right out the gate i think the whole "fighting hitler" aspect of IS should count for something during the discussion of which characters are jewish. like just putting that out there. anyways tatsuya is jewish because of eternal punishment. specifically, you know how hes like super into "atonement" and repentance? bro would really have benefited from going to a high holidays service lemme tell you. and he does it in a specific way thats like. his atonement is actively trying to repair what hes fixed right like hes not doing what hes doing to be redeemed, hes doing it because its his responsibility to fix whats been broken. i just idk how to explain it properly but thats a thought process your rabbi talks you through in jew school yknow?

also theres this thing called tikkun olam, which literally translates as "repairing the world". so it means more like. doing ur best as a citizen to improve community and country, or general social work. but just considering it as taking the literal translation, then its just like... yep. that sure is what hes doing isnt it

also, killed hitler. hashtag work

KATSUYA:

placed here mostly because being tatsuyas brother, theyd probably be at a similar "level" of religiosity. however there are some unique things i want to point out here;

katsuya like embodies the idea of "tzedek tzedek tirdof" like. its unfortunate hes a cop but for a cop hes a pretty good person? hes pretty uncompromising on right and wrong, and in a way that totally lines up w tzedek tzedek tirdof as its described in the torah.

extra emphasis on his compassion, as in theres like that core facet of judaism, the tikkun olam, where people have a moral obligation to help others; not just do good as oneself, but also stop other people from doing bad. that last bit doesnt really matter, cuz im bringing it up so i can talk about katsuya as a police officer to clear his dads name and try and ensure a better future for his brother. he gave up his dreams for them.

i mean, when i say "giving up his dreams", im kinda laughing to myself bc theres no way he ran it past his parents bc if he looked his jewish mother in the eye and said "i want to be a pastry chef" he would not make it out of the room alive. hed go "my dream is to become a pâtissier" and his mom would immediately be like "no its not its to be an accountant" and that would be the end of the discussion

also, i think he would make some of the best fucking challah in the world. hed make matzo ball soup that could make you jizz your pants just looking at it. look me in the eyes and tell me that he doesnt actually go nuts at rosh hashana when he gets to make the round challah with the raisins in it and stuff or whatever else. there is such a crystal clear vision in my mind of him rocking this apron my dad used to have that says "real men make latkes". it was pink and ugly as sin and i think it would be katsuyas most prized possession.

LABRYS:

her name is fucking labrys obviously shes a jewish lesbian. next.

/j i will actually talk about this. like not mentioning the only survivor of her upbringing, which isnt a one to one considering the death match portion of her backstory but still close enough to feel um. relavant to jewish culture. she acts very...stereotypically jewish?

its not entirely the accent, but it is...part of it. so like i know its like a new jersey accent and that the stereotype is new york, i guess? but im not american and i dont rlly know the difference. they look close enough to each other on a map tho so i think it counts

but also shes like kinda confrontational in a way i specifically associate with jewish people or jewish characters? like not really bitchy but argumentative right, shes got this really sarcastic or mocking sense of humour. and girl kvetches with the best of them.

(also, side note: since i made the original list, i found out that the voice actress for aegis in p3 reload, dawn m bennett, is actually jewish! if i were to remake the tier list, aegis would be moved up from "vibes" to "factual" because of this. mentioning that here because of the sister thing :).)

JOKER:

kills g-d which is the jewish dream. this is a another joke.

someone in the replies of the tier list said something abt a possible reason being that he has an "abrahamic figure" as his ult. persona, which could be a good point if satanael was actually an abrahamic figure! but it is not. like ok im not a history guy but satanael is a name used in the 2nd book of enoch, which arguably could be part of jewish "canon" (i know this is actually the term for it but fandom has rotted my brain and it sounds terminally online to use it in terms of real life religiosity) but most rabbis agree it like is not, and theyre kind of who im listening to on this, and quick google search says even in christianity, enoch is debatable? idk

so like satanael isnt in the torah. and if anyone says "oh its just like another name for satan so technically--" shut up i know. satan isnt real in the torah either. ok like "satan" is used as a term, but not as like the specific dude that like rules hell. hes just like at most a specific dude who is not a devil/cast from heaven or whatever, but instead is a lawyer. more often its a concept, something representative of like the urge to go against g-ds will or a kosher life, this "evil inclination" which everyone is born possessing and grapples with when trying to be a good person. NOT THE SAME AS THE CHRISTIAN SATAN. WHICH IS WHAT P5 WAS GOING FOR. SATAN IN JUDAISM IS NOT A "super demon lord" or whatever they call it in the text of the game

satanael isnt an abrahamic figure and i dont think satan is either cuz its so different between religions and honestly i think calling things abrahamic religions, at least w the context i hear of it, is like kind of a misnomer or just kind of generally misleading cuz judaism christianity and islam are all so different and if were talking about this i think whoever invented the term judeochristian should eat a sheet of glass for it because whenever i hear those terms its very clear the person saying it means just christianity but theyre trying to be inclusive without actually putting the work in and thats not the point of this.

ok if im honest, as i think abt it joker isnt like. really... super jewish, in a way that you can point out? its just like... this overall vibe im having trouble explaining which is probably also like super influenced by how much i like him. i want to say that this strict sense of right and wrong that remains uninfluenced by the rest of society is something that clearly creates or maybe just intensifies this like. empathy for other people that reminds me of this concept in judaism which i cant remember the hebrew name of rn but i think its most commonly translated to english as "lovingkindness", one word? or that the whole idea of the phantom thieves can be contributed to tikkun olam. but, on the other hand, even if lovingkindness is what i personally consider one of jokers core character traits, the other one is pure, blinding rage.

im not going to go super into it, because im a few years rusty of torah study bc its only really consistently done in my community for kids preparing for bnai mitzvah cuz of how few people we have in our congregation. but from what i remember, my interpretation of the exact limit between righteous and sinful anger is a bit more... lax than the average jew's, or at least the average rabbi's, meaning mine, lol. either way anger is almost always seen as sinful because its an emotion that can like. turn you from g-d, its the same thing that invokes that "evil inclination" we just talked abt. so, joker textually feels this rage that arsene, his other self, literally refers to as "sacrilegious", something that very clearly states that he is willing to *knowingly* commit sins for this rage and is perfectly capable of causing undue harm to others for it, which is exactly the reason why judaism warns of anger. this means jokers anger is distinctly against jewish teachings.

again, im really lax, my familys reform (/lh) and i think there are some parts of this characterisation that make me feel this rage is overall constructive, especially considering that is what feeds his constant practice of lovingkindness and tikkun olam, but it being such a huge facet of his personality (made worse bc as a silent protagonist, you really have to search to get away from this trait) brings him down on the Jew Scale(tm).

in short, now that im really discussing this id probably move him to incredibly jewish based on vibes or even to just "jewish" no further classification. but even w the undying sinful anger thing i cant not think of him as jewish and i dont think its just bc hes one of my favourite characters of all time.

also that hair texture looking really familiar is all🤔🤔. all im saying that is in the tutorial, instead of "frizzy hair", morgana deffo should have been calling them blondie and jewfro /j /j /j

EDIT AND JOKERS KITCHEN!! JOKERS KITCHEN!! FOOD AS A LOVE LANGUAGE!! IN P5 YOU MAKE FOOD FOR YOUR FRIENDS AND YOU PUT LOVE INTO IT

MORGANA:

i know i put morgana before joker in the tier but i think in order to rlly discuss morgana we needed joker first bc part of my reason for putting them in the same tier is because they really are a pair, do not separate.

anyways, morgana does have a lot of the same problems as joker when it comes to being difficult to pin down. his inclination to tikkun olam is similar, sort of even greater than jokers depending on personal characterisation of joker, but instead of this discrepancy of his jewishness being anger, the ethical conundrum with morgana is sort of. arrogance? like, i have trouble figuring out how to really put into words how i feel abt morganas "lovingkindness", because it is so hard to understand where hes at in terms of empathy?? like. fucking. idk hes definitely a very caring person but its not exactly like

ok i cant figure out how to say it moving on. i used the word arrogance even though i dont really think thats right, because morgana has never seemed haughty. his "arrogance" is really just him making up for an inferiority complex caused by the amnesia thing, its not as if he genuinely totally believes himself to be above the others. but like no matter what it stems from, the way he behaves and his personal pride hurts people. ie the okumura arc, or his entire relationship w ryuuji. he speaks ill of others, belittles them to bring himself up, etc. arrogance and excess pride is as condemned as anger in judaism if not moreso, since its even less useful/constructive to be "arrogant" than it is to be angry. OH ok so what i meant with the hard to figure out his empathy thing is this actually!! hes very caring and has a really notable respect for human life but its always at war with his need to prove himself, so even if when you think about it its like Oh Morgana Is A Really Caring Person, which makes sense because he was created from human desire and as such is really in touch with what people need, the desperation he has to be seen as "worthy" comes off as wanting to be seen as "above", even if it means trying to get the people around him as being considered "below" him.

tldr so if it was just those two traits i think id have to move morgana lower on the list, alongside joker.

HOWEVER. speaking directly to the other jews in the crowd, but morgana is totally textually a golem, right? like not exactly, obviously, but think about it. morganas a being of the velvet room because he was created from "the dregs of human hope" (canonical line from yaldaboath that i think about more than what can be considered healthy tbh), whose job is was and always will be to protect and guide the trickster and his community, the phantom thieves. hes a golem right? am i insane? am i seeing things? i dont care, im not giving up on this interpretation, so morgana is factually and canonically jewish cuz of it.

ZEN:

i do not remember.

as of today id probably move him to either jewish no other classification or not jewish. my b guys. anyways

JUN:

life is indescribable torment, and then hes also got additional, mostly unrelated, mommy issues. judaism 101.

also his suspenders when he was a kid are the most young jewish lad shit in the history of ever like i have seen that exact outfit on a young boy every time i go to temple, and each time it is a different kid

ok more seriously, i really do think juns story-- specifically his relationship with memory-- can easily be extracted into a jewish narrative. like nyarlathotep messed with his memories and convinced him that the other members of the masked circle killed maya right. and so the way he fanatically reminded himself of the past was a mix of trauma and active manipulation. but if i think abt it a certain way i also can see it as like. ok so in judaism memory is really important and like a lot of the time during for example passover, youre meant to refer to yourself as being a jew in egypt, saying "we" instead of "them" and such. but im specifically meaning how important memory/remembrance is in grieving. jun in his grief for mayas perceived death "kept her alive" in a way. she was never forgotten, and so she never died. even though the entire masked circle forgot, from trauma or fear or guilt or whatever, jun held on, remembering her, and so she survived. joker took peoples dreams but his actions also caused them to be completely be forgotten. they were alive, but they were robbed of their ability to be remembered at all, and so they were as good as dead even still breathing and talking.

retroactively, this idea enforces tatsuyas jewishness, considering the entire story of eternal punishment. he refused to forget the masked circle, even though it hurts.

anyways back to jun, i also think the whole repentance thing is important too. he hurt people in his anger and sorrow and spends the rest of his life (until the world is reset at least lol) atoning for his wrongdoings.

also, i know i said kid him is super jewish looking, but he has not gotten better as hes grown up. 17y.o him is exactly the guy your bubbe will pull up on facebook and be like "this is the grandson of my friend or whoever! you should go on a date with him, hes your age! he looks a bit gay but hes a very successful doctor! ...and hes JEWISH YAKNOW...." and ur like "ok bubbe"

ERIKO:

i actually do not recall exactly why she is in this tier specifically. the only thing i for sure remember was that i at least partially placed her here bc of her fascination with the occult.

HIKARI:

ok this one was kinda me goofing. its the whole extended family thing like whats more jewish than being actively discouraged from a creative career for something "safe" and "normal?" bro the aunt might as well have dropped the "being a doctor is very respectable" line in the song.

but like even without that, wanting to be a director or associated with film? hitting her with the jew beam. mazel tov babygirl.

[burningvelvet]

okay more thoughts on pride and prejudice as i begin chapter 39

1 i want to see lady catherine, mrs. bennet, and miss bingley in the same room together on a podcast panel debating things like marriage and childrearing etc but i dont think the world would be able to handle it

2 i’m interpreting mr. darcy as either being neurodivergent (possibly autistic) and/or having severe social anxiety — and this is really informing my entire perspective of his character (as a core theme to his character is being socially understood/misunderstood). however, i know its still very controversial to “diagnose” fictional characters and i don’t want to come off that way — but historical complications aside (the field of psychology didn’t exist back then how it does now) it’s really obvious to see that he’s not neurotypical, although i don’t know if this is an accepted thing in the austen world though!

3 i’m not buying that mr. darcy’s letter was only 2 pages long. 3 pages minimum with tiny handwriting maybe.

4 this entire novel really highlights the importance of social communication more than anything imo

5 mr. collins is fucking hilarious and his interactions with elizabeth are so accurate/relatable of what it’s like to deal with oblivious men as a female, esp. men who dont know how to take a hint — i was actually laughing out loud through his entire proposal sequence, especially at the line where it says elizabeth is trying hard not to laugh too. so familiar.

6 i wish we could see more of charles i actually like him — i also like colonel fitzwilliam and kind of wanted him to marry elizabeth - its kind of hilarious how casual the topic of marriage is with people you’ve just met & i really want to read more about regency history on marriage specifically now to figure out how much is embellished for satire purposes & how much is true to life

7 i have many thoughts on wickham but thats for a separate post

8 from what little i’ve read about p&p analysis/consensus so far, it seems mrs bennet and some other characters have already been torn to shreds over lit history to the point that its become more common to defend them & mrs bennet in particular, which i understand bc she’s supposed to be a satire on women of the time period but of course her concerns are valid and there are real economic reasons for her actions and societal norms that pertain to them. i’ve also read that it’s common for people to prefer mr bennet over his wife and to pit them against each other which can lead into misogyny & i can see this. however (im sure the bennet family ends up happy at the end, but at this point in the story) i think there are valid reasons for these interpretations which lead people to like mr bennet more than mrs bennet. after the ordeal with collins i really lost respect for mrs bennet for threatening to disown eliza & treating her so harshly, and i gained respect for mr bennet for sticking by eliza. i continuously defended mrs bennet and her behavior up until the collins proposal. i understand she’s desperate for eliza to marry so that she doesn’t become destitute etc. but mr collins simply isnt an ideal husband

9 eliza’s feelings on her friend marrying collins are so sad and relatable of how all of us feel when we watch a friend or loved one enter a shitty relationship and/or betray themselves or lose a part of their personality + the idea of having to mourn your friend especially upon growing up etc. but particularly as it relates to the lonely woman’s experience of finding one’s friends starting to center males & prioritize romance over friendship the older you get.

hope some of this is semi-intelligible - i save the grammar for my real essays - but felt like rambling

i think in my last post i was spelling “bennet” as “bennett” so i apologize for that lol - pls dont kill me janeites, i’m new here!!!

[prestonmonterey]

camp here and there thoughts

considered spamming my friend, but instead ill put stuff here.

this is all my thoughts from as im listening to it, btw

sydney and jedidiah are quincent confirmed?!! (not clickbait)

i will literally eat up any character named rowan no questions asked

the first bit with the penguins reminds me of burrows end

one of my favorite silly weird things is time going past the numbers it should (reminds me of everything is fine. i think it was like, the first episode? digital clock goes from 2:59 to 2:60? super cool, love it)

"let us live to die another day" (will you live to see tomorrow or die another dayyy// once a spy always a spy.... sorry, sorry)

i love that theres emojis in the transscripts

i feel so bad for the vegans at camp

mentions of apocalypse? a character called rowan? (you know what time it is folks: obscure lyric references!!!! (my beautiful apocolypse, if i asked you to be mine, would our purposes align?) again, sorry. ill stop. no i wont.)

woo! sydney feelings hour!

i love syndey telling his tape recorder not to tell anyone about his hallucinations

ok random thing i just noticed the titles have like part of the one before them and part of the one after and thats just pretty cool

why is the sky always bad

sydney being very normal about death and jedidiah bein like 'no' is also very quincent

interesting the 'when you die you will rot' is a recurring thing

sydeys laugh is so cute i love himmm

ok so theres like a spider cabin, moth cabin, ladybug cabin and BATTLE CABIN?

children being bribed by sugar is one of the most realistic parts of this

ok but the distinction between reanimation and true necromancy is actually really cool

sydney as much as i love you why the heck did you say thick like that

(when youre a ghost recorder, no one knows your name, but they wont try to stop you if you arent playing the game)

'our bedroom' actually screaming

the voice acting is such yum

again, sydneys noncholance about death related things

omg gay?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

poor jedidiah is so pathetic and bbg

for the record i hate oposite day too

gasp: a navarro (makes sense shes a tyrant) (im refrencing gentlemens guide to love and murder? i think? i dont even know at this point)

i love that all of ep 5 is sydney being too extra and jedidiah being the most exasperated

ok so maybe the implication is that matthew isnt human, but also ppl can have extra color cones, but only afab ppl bc color cones are in the x chromosome (thats also why men are more likely to be color blind) so trans matthew hc now

sydney are your eyes ok??

justice for sydneys fancy soap

if someone does magic and hurts sydney i will cry

ok so now with confirmation that they use analog clocks i really wana know what they look like

also i was thinking about why the music from last ep reminded me of something v specific and i think its yokai watch?

"babe" ok theyve got to be gay right???

sydneys allergic to seeing goo? interesting

father time? a bastard? omg you know what time it is (hehehe time bastard)

sydney and jedidiah are so cute im actually going to die

aww i want lava cake w real lava :( (fun fact by strange definition water is technicaly a form of lava)

ok so the amount of wholesomeness makes me think something bad is going to happen

"theyre penny loafers :("

rowan rowan rowan rowan rowan rowan!!!

the audio design is so yummy idk if i said that already

(uhh i accidentaly skipped most of ep six so back to that)

(the elephant man is just dead ambrose and sydney is vincent if they werre better at communicating)

"worms arent people" uh, YES THEY ARE, rude.

jedidiah whatever your project is it cant be so important that you havent played chess with your bf in A COUPLE OF YEARS wtf

(ok now to regularly scheduled friendship goo)

sydney calling the camper different animals is one of my favorite things

why is the sky always fucked up

"scary things like...men" sir you are men (but also same i am so scared of men and also are men)

jeDIDiah lmao

"your husband" and sydney just goes with it

ok but why is sydney slowly giving more and more louis taopp vibes (plz dont be like him)

i love casual loredrops about chocolate shortages

"friends" sure.. sure.

ok... so sydney did know that jedidiah had pics of him in his office? bc they used to be on the corkboard/?????

poor bb sydney is sad that his husband isnt telling him things

"[Scoffs] Friend. As if we’re not… we’re not… [Sighs] we’re not." noo im gonna actually cry (i am- i was... i'm supposed to be the best/ref)

i wanna see sydneys haunted house and skeleton cat drawings :(

"Put the Silly Putty back. You don’t need more Silly Putty." (my friends @ me when i watch another musical) (myself @ me when i eat another one of rowans fandoms >:3)

"co-nurse" idk if hes actually the assistant or not but i think sydney calls him that bc control? bc he wants power

also jedidiah uses am and pm which is interesting bc i dont think sydney does

ok now i get why sydney doesnt like joshua

the trivia sections of fan wikis are my favorite thing on this planet. "it is unknown whether or not the color green exists"

btw they actually mention green eggs and ham in ep 1 so i think its at least a concept

i still hc trans matthew. no fan wiki can take that away from me >:(

juniper daddy issues confirmed??

"Well, we can — petition her!" (i will try to petition my father/ref sorry sorry sorry)

Wait, one more: Cunt.  (uuh, fucker /ref. will anyone even get that one? its filled my brain. i dont remember any quotes before or after... it's taopp. uh, the scene with louis and jason in the hallway or something)

we love sydney trauma dumping 2 mins into an ep

i wonder if he sometimes forgets hes broadcasting to a bunch of middle schoolers

i wonder if joshua knows that middle schoolers arent usually 14

i love that sydney doesnt know what oatmeal is

sydney: if only my husband would play 20 dimensional chess w me :(

"Lucille has a flamethrower. You have to listen to what she says." the only lesson ever

natsume def has parent issues

just remembered that the trees produce defensive slick

i want teethh flowers :(

"and I fear that the end is near." (the end is coming, the end is coming! /ref)

"as sweet, and patient, and motherly, and forgiving as she is" so... not at all?

i love the silly old timey music omg its so fun

gasp cannon date. thats crazy. someone better have a timeline theory bout this.

aww no teeth flowers? :(

im concerned about sorens stones

is the ticking clock new? it feels new

oh huneee :(

just remembered the notes in the description. thats lore, right? prolly im too lazy to check.

Word to the wise: you ever come across that statue, do not look her in the eyes. (the fact that it rhymes too) (someone should make a cover of a word to the wise but with this line) (please?)

matthew appreciation time

sydney mommy issues?

jesus heck how many cabins are there?

is that what the pebbles were for???? im still scared.

sydney's silly drum roll gives me life

im actually so in love with matthew

sacrificial rituals, yay!

D: can they just be gay and happy? please?

they better get happy >:(

the spooky is rly goodd tho

mommy issues: the episode?

again, we love sydney trauma time before minute 3 of the episode

mila is a theater kid confirmed?!

sydney it seems like theres alot to unpack about your mom...

i dont think i want to know what horn sap is

"It’s all very delightful, b-but quite strange" idk the way he says that line is so vincentcore

im v worried for marie ann

"Don’t worry — they aren’t real ants. But it is a real log! " honestly id rather eat ants than a whole tree

"bending over to whisper in my ear." sydney is a short king <3

ohh the centipedes

i love the contrast of ideas its super spooky.

 “I’ve just got to do better,”  (never let yourself rest, they can try to despise you, but not your success) (also ambrose vibes. idk, but like maybe jedidiah has a similar 'if im perfect then people will finally love me' thing goin on?)

 “Give me a hard time, okay? We both deserve that.” (more ambrose vibes)

i think hes looking for validation from lucille?

i like that the va's voice patterns makes it clear when hes talking quietly even though the audios still at the same volume

"I know I’ve constructed a few effigies in my time. " (effigies of the god appolo, dickweed /ref)

"There is a clear block of resin on my desk with a centipede inside. He wants to swap places with me. Lately, I am tempted to let him." spooky

(last couple eps had, like, news broadcasts at the beginning? idk if its been like that the whole time, but probably lore stuff.)

o no is it rock time? (also soren sounds like such a cartoon character i cannot get over it)

is mother of stones the reanimation lady from the death fields or whatever?

i love that the only actually vegan thing given to the vegans so far is assorted leaves

i have a feeling that normal day might not be normal...

idk why would worshiping a statue of stones to be reborn into a second life in the middle of the forest be illegal?

ohh its bc normal day i already forgot/

" Un-resurrect? Un… resurrect… Were we going to “surrect” the rabbit?" (i prefer 'mercy killing' /ref)

i want juniper and joshua rivals to lovers/rivals to friends content. just putting that out there.

sydney just kill the rabbit

ok the fact that sydney is worried about this death-related thing is really unsettling

aoisfeorgijefmoigjt4ri4tgoirjjitog this is so spooky i love it so much

sydney needs proper therapy

"I know I’m beating a dead horse, but the guy wants something from me, and he does something to me, and I don’t like that he just gets to be around no matter how much I protest!" (grace when max)

and it all comes back to control

poor baby boy

:(((((((((((((((((((((((

(poor boy, tormented /ref)

why he bri'ish

nevermind i dont want juniper content anymore

"jeddie, m'boy"

why does anyone like him

yes, yes rowan is handsome

himbo juniper, but i still hate him

"it’ll steal all your nutrients until you wither and die!" (its infectious, its deadly, its one to be feared /ref)

"I’ve always wanted to be killed by something that loved me." dont. dont say that sydney.

soren is the dark magic sugar daddy of camp. prove me wrong.

"Would a child really do that? Just come to Summer Camp and tell lies?" yes. they would.

song? song!!!!

if this isnt on the soundtrack imma be pissed

idk how to explain this, but salems voice is really sharp

i certainly dont want to know what ostrich cream is...

if this makes sydney bottle up his feeling and muck up his relationship with jedidiah more im not gonna be happy

(ok so i was just informed that its going to get worse and,, i dont know how to emotionally prepare myself.) (also its past 10:30 pm so bear with me if my thoughts get a lil incoherent. as if they ever were coherent)

cant remember if this happens with sydney too but theres static when jedidiah says the time. interesting

so sydneys smoke thing is unique to him??

we do love occupying characters with a physical task during conversations

ig marisol prioritizes efficiency and salem prioritizes the wellbeing of the kids

also salem dont badmouth sydnel like that

gay??

more confirmation that sydney needs therapy

im v glad marisols on sydneys side

jedidiah is bein kinda silly, marisols like 'he makes me uncomfy' and hes like 'just dont feel uncomfy'

if only sydney and jedidiah were as good at communication as the sapphics

love that sydney is like 'dont swear!!!!' but dumps all of his trauma on the kids

noo im sad :(

"It’s a laaaaaazy day today." <<<(me tomorrow after not sleeping all night)

nothing bad better happen on the speepy day >:(

"Men. Men sure are mysterious." mood

"I can’t describe how it feels to see a blue sky… almost… apocalyptic. " i love subverting expectations and turning something ordinary into something completely paranormal.

also vambrose moment (the apple)

o great thats where the canibalism comes in

eugh

i do not want

(and this is why salem is worried about you buddy. dont share stuff like that with kids.)

on the other hand kids arent, like innocent to this type of thing, really. i used to babysit my friends lil sister ( i think she was in 2nd or 3rd grade?) shed make lego skits about people murdering eachother, with like, a lot of detail too. and i dont think she was raised on particularly violent media. she played pokemon go on her parents phone or doodles in kids drawing apps. i think kids just kinda gravitate towards these kinds of things, especially if theyre told theyre not supposed to.

o no sydney being normal about the elephant man is not good

"You get hungry." hungy theme within his dreams?

"I like animals because they never forget to be scared: of starving, of getting eaten, of getting hurt or sick." also reaccuring thing from the bunny

and centipede thing. and ants. (im guessing bc its a dream it s lots of things relating to his current situation, especially thematically) (also i believe ants were brought up at some point when he said something along the lines of 'it felt like ants were eating my stomach lining'

the writing is so good its unfair

"I should never have forgotten to be scared." this is really interesting bc so far hes only been really scared by the elephant man.

"and none of the birds could speak English." ok i think its extremely disturbing to consider the fact that 'its a uniquely human thing to surpress pain' so the birds CAN talk but theyre still animals. they never forget to be scared and they never think to hide their discomfort.

also geez this episode is so dark compared to the others. it makes sense in universe, bc most of this is going on in sydneys head.

noo matthew was affected he better be ok after >:(

also appreciation for the slowing music, i didnt really register at first but thats definitely bc of the weird time happenings. and then the crank and it speeds up? super cool!

this series is so fun!!!

im a bit worried that jedidiahs 'extra special clock' may have something to do with his project? especially considering he has a lot of clocks around his office

more hungy, i think that bc he was hungy but didnt really realize it bc time weirdness, it seeped into his dreams somehow?

appreciation for sydney being able to eat garlic bread

also interesting thing, idk if its relevant in universe or just a writing thing, but no matter what happens with time it seems to always be resolved for sydney to know when 25:25 is.

oh fuck the canibalism is back

icky

i do not want

nope nope nope its getting worse

sorry im blood squeemish

more elephant man lore

kinda spooky. maybe his powers rely on electricity? or theres some greater creature hes afraid of that haas that effect

appreciation for the ending music of ep 16, and also just all the music in that ep.

hive? (the apothiosis is upon us?)

also really different music for the intro. idk if its like a genre or something related to hives, but its style really reminded me of queen b from nightmare time.

i want a waterslide to nowhere

i dont want a bri'ish man talkin bout 'beans on the cob' to be responsible for my safety, like, ever.

more sydney lore! poor bb sounds like he needs a hug. particularly from one Jedidiah A.A. Martin

i love the corporate bg music during harmlessmart its such a nice touch.

matthew matthew matthew matthew

fresh honeycomb sky.. hive theming?

this is exactly the shenanigans that middles schoolers get upto when theyre realeased into the woods

" So it has been, and so it will be; eternal in all directions in time." idk i just like this quote,

more ants

sports crystals = pokey?

bee tsunami

so he is co-nurse... when does jedidiah ever do his job? where is he?

noo sydney not the corner bread

comunicate!!! please!!!

"but he must love me, right?" :(((((((((((((((((

" — my journals." of course jedidiah only cares when it relates to his project. so quincycore, but if quincy didnt care about his bf.

D:

idk if i should keep watching this tonight. on one hand, if i keep watching i might cry bc sad, but if i stop i will definitely cry.

"He would always be the father, and I would always be the mother" (blitzstonecore)

"How he could love something so much… and forget to feed it." (he loves sydney, he just forgets to take care of him. in the way sydney needs, instead of the way jedidiah thinks he needs.)

a grey sky

reading wikis again, and the warriors thing is just such a mood, and idk if the creators understand dnd stats properly, or if he jus sucks that much at living, but negative stats are not possible. like players usually cant get below a 3. and -4 means he has like -7 con, so he has 1 hit points at first level, which is really pathetic. yes im going to nerd about this. (i think its super funny bc, like sure w a 19 for wisdom he probably wouldnt fail wis saves, but on the off chance that he did, viscious mockery, a bard cantrip, will knock him out no matter what, and if it rolls i think a 3 or 4 it completely kills him. he could be killed by a single insult.)

(ive been informed that this will make more sense once i finish it, and now im v scared)

(also prolly shouldnt be reading the wiki rn bc spoilers, but im doin it anyway.)

again, the stats are SO EXTREME. not as bad as sydney. he could feasibly weild a weapon (strenghth or dex if finesse i think) he has reasonable con which is good bc wizards have absolutely no health. idk whats up with his wisdom (ive heard it described as 'street smarts' and int as 'book smarts' but i think it kinda goes hand in hand with rizz for interactions, bc its used for like insight, which is kinda important to talk to people.) (thats actually something id say maybe doesnt work well with sydneys high wis. so far it seems like, while he is quite observant, hes not always super great at reading the room, or at least thats what ive gathered)

also idk about the charisma bc so far jedidiah seems a bit more put together in the persuasion/deception/intimidation area of things.

might eep now. that means its a great time for you to drink some water.

do it. stay hydrated. it mustve taken a ton of mental energy to get through this post, so you should take a break. get a glass of water, get a snack, take care of yourself. (sleep if its past midnight or if your name is rowan) then you can come back and finish reading this shitshow :]

ok its morning time to finish this (maybe)

restarted ep 16 bc i forgor

omg wait sydneys usin am and theres static

i love that theres a credit card stealing fish.

no sydney youre doing it again what did salem say

relation to sydneys worms?

"If he didn’t value these creatures when they were alive, why was he so affected by their deaths?" STOP NO IM ALREADY SAD I GET IT

and thats why sydney wont kill the centipede?

w h a t

spooky music

is the hive conected to the elephant man?

excuse me did he just call worms many legged creatures (ig like worms as in maggots and caterpillars and silkworms, not earthworms)

i love that theres always some counselors that dont get to participate in the camp meetings

sydneys impression of jedidiahs voice is so silly

"But I like endings; I like closure. That was the point of this whole exercise." more with sydney being more ok with death perhaps?

“Ha. Abandoning your child in a lake . . . . so that’s what motherhood means for you?” NO NO NO NO NO :(((

"But I am not my mother." so this is why hes so protective of the kids?

rowan hero?

this feels less like a hive and more like an egg

rowan hero!

bad smoke, different smoke?

hive queen

ye i was right, it egg

so they WERE gay at some point???

interesting that jedidiah doesnt mention the elephant man breaking into his office

he frames it as 'im worried about sydney' even though hes been ignoring sydneys concern until it affected himself

ye ye lucille gets it he only cares about himself and his project

hes emotionally attatched to sydney, but he doesnt take care of him, because he doesnt understand what it means to not be taken care of

sydney taught himself how to love, and he makes a conscious effort to try his best, but he prioritizes the kids because he doesnt want to be like his mom

ye ye lucille call out the lil guy

lucille has the same thoughts about the elephant man as jedidiah did before he tried to take the journals

noticed the clock ticking

ohh so spooky bad stuff in the journals?

jedidiahs trying to keep sydney safe, reminds me of the "it was cozy and safe, like a prison" thing

also lucille bein his mom explains why sydney and jedidiah are close?

jedidiah doesnt like death, maybe hes afraid of it. because its closure, like sydney said. bc he doesnt know how to care about something while its alive, so he settles for greiving when its gone.

also the ending 'do not anger it" is a repeat i think?

o no more tree stuff?

am again and static

at least today the vegans get somethig they can maybe eat?

so he is the assisstant nurse? confusion

buddy are you sure thats not a corpse

assuming the things jedidiahs getting shipped in are related to his project, hes making progress?

again with him prioritizes his project above sydney

also minor thing about the lunch b i feel like hes kinda underestimating sydneys intelligence (of course judging by the dnd stats its barely above average) and thats also v quincy of him

also i think he forgot to say the time, but theres static for dinner, prolly bc pm

interesting i dont remember when sydney switched. was it always like that? 19:04 PM implies a 19:04 AM, and thats a lotta hours

sydney appreciating nature

do you even like goo arts? arent you allergic to goo

ok really interesting that they bring this up bc sydney was just talking about how he and jedidiah had a bag of acorns that they took home? and they were fine

plant spooky

related to project?

:(

time static

:((((

his lil eep is v cute

not even chess. bro why do you even check on him if youre too tired to play chess

clock tic

physically safe.

D:

sad gay

more clocks tic

no you cant end the ep like that

sydneys still gone :(((((

juniper no one likes you dont laugh at your own jokes

oh but rowan honey is getting juniper to his job worth putting up with his horrible voice and personality

its extremely ironic that jedidiah is responsible for mediating counselor arguements when he doesnt comunicate with his own husband

"how do I explain to you that you need to care about other people?" DONT SAY THAt... it makes me sad...

"I worry about you sometimes, though, y’know?" heres a concrete difference between juniper and jedidiah: juniper actually makes the effort to care about rowans worry, even if he cant empathize with it. honestly i think this episode is included to show jedidiah through a different light, bc so far it seems like him and juniper are very similar.

they both rarely do their actual work, and have someone they care about who has a (maybe) irrational fear of something they cant understand

"You keep saying all this nice shit to him like it means anything and then consistently letting him down with your behavior." showing jedidiah recognises these traits in other people but not himself.

"Your actions are what matter to the people around you, not your words or your intentions or your thoughts or your fucking anything else but your actions, and your actions show Sydney loud and clear that you don’t give a shit about him." aaand he let it slip. he knows hes doing the same, maybe? some part of him gets that.

hopefully after this there will actualy be some kind of positive change?

not sure if this is important, as i havent been reading the other log thingies, but under minor insight into it repeats a bullet point

theory: the elephant man took sydney???

"I promise you kids I will attend dutifully to the nurse’s office in Sydney’s absence. Or, I’ll make sure someone is, at least." more jedidiah avoiding his actual job, similar to juniper

again sydney prioritizes knowledge above all else, maybe a similarity to jedidiah

"One by one, we all stay alive…" cant remember if this was like an endy thing but it sounds familiar.. either way super spooky

yvonne dyslexic not clickbait?

"Of course I can, it’s — plain English." ok interesting def a thing about either yvonne or jedidiah, bc like they dont see the notes the same???

"I wanted her to get angry. I wanted a fight. I wanted consequences. I… I wanted… it to matter." he wants closure. he wants people to care about him

"She was kind then. So was Jedidiah." :(

:(((((((((((((

"really hard to believe that he would just — get up and leave." jedidiahs frustrated by the thought that sydney might not care about him like he thought?

another mention of religion. yvonne also mentioned praying in the last ep, and a while ago sydney talked about jedidiah being a 'good christian boy' or something like that

nvm that was the beginning of the last ep

im very good at life as you can tell

sorry back to 22

this is so strange

nother mention of religion

"My heartbeat has synced up with the ceaseless ticking… " reminds me of a comment i saw relating jedidiahs clocks to his heartbeat? idk i dont remember

this is... really disturbing. i dont know why

"holy day". interesting

this feels manipulative

no no elephant man if you turn sydney against jedidiah i will be very angy

wait isnt this like cult tactics, like asking someone to meet up in a low stakes setting, love bombing, asking them to do something to prove their loyalty. (i vaguely remember this from some yt video i watched about cats)

"Show you a love you have never known." hes preying on sydneys desire to be wanted, to be cared about

this is so unsettling my god.

" Jedidiah’s search party " means lucille aproved it?

"I mean, y’know, live like you’re dying, right? " (exexprincecore)

"What do you mean “that’s one way to put it”? Yvonne, these are blank papers!" enchanted papers?????????

ok sydney dont lie to them'

"Um. Okay. Listen. Sydney… I don’t want to lose you." but he doesnt really care, still

:(

clock ticking

"the tree finds human happiness nauseating." huh.

D:

"violent criminal history in the state of arkansas" thats all i could catch from the news thingy at the start, for some reason its not on the ep transcripts :(,,, but didnt elijah say hes from arkansas??? is that anything?

theres still static with the time

theyre dead?? like straight up?? all of cabin widow spider?

oh ok theyre not fully dead

as, like, the only sane person who cares about the elephant man, i wonder what marisols reaction is?

sports field? what about the musically inclined crystals?

hhehehe forgot that soren sounds like a cartoon villain

he nya like cat

...does the project have some relation to necromancy????????

tap tap tap tap tap tap

so crackers and butter cookies count as bread???

" but without death, it will never live." (to show ya the horror of stayin alive) (sorry sorry sorry sorry)

"Not because we want to, but because we must." ^^^^

wait wait wait i think i remember the one by one thing. but it was "one by one we all survive" and then "one by one we all stay alive" or something lik e that, so its interesting that it changed.

"but I can’t believe any amount of money would convince her to completely ignore the safety of the kids." again thingy with prioritizing the kids

"Seems this strain of mold just turns us into zombies, like… interpersonally?" mood

hahahaha juniper already is like that so the mold didnt have any effect

hun he is definitely deliberately manipulating yp

ok so idk about any of endy bits so far but it keeps bringing up not angering it and they "youve angered it" and im guessing if anything it has something to do with elijah??? or the project?? maybe both idk

"It’s like you don’t even care about the kids here anymore." huh

and it all comes back to control.

"Jedidiah… [Sigh] this mediation session isn’t for you and me." they need to go to couples therapy

" [Whisper] I miss you. .... I’m such a fucking idiot. " :((((

can the gays just be happy? just for a little bit? can elijah go away? can everyone please for the love of god or whatever just be happy for one goddamed moment?

no am, still static

i dont think thats a river

also, 'rapids'? he said like a moment before it was still, which kinda means its just more lake, and the land partially seperating it is an island

"they’re hungry for a sense of intellectual superiority." i love that the creatures in and around camp are half spooky half completely mundane

ye for once i think junipers right its more like a moat

"For today’s breakfast we have an eel’s head stuck upon a 500-year-old sword and slathered with pea mush — a hometown delicacy suggested by Juniper. He says they call it “scrumpledydumps!”" (ugh. british people.)

hc sydneys proficient in animal handling

... he feels like a curse and not in control of his life :(

forgot about the macaronis

uhh wouldnt a bridge make the hunt like destroy cam

(the horse? the divorce? /ref)

"I can’t figure out what this poor fox eats." is this a reference to the fly thing? showing contrast bc sydney actually thinks to take care of it?

still no am or pm but theres static

:((((((((((((((((((

please let them be happy? (this is why i stil havent finished yellow jacket. i simply cannot handle characters being sad or the undeniable feeling that something terrible is going to happen)

"the tree also finds human fear nauseating." huh.

clocks. are we finally gonna learn more about the project/??

no more river

beeping

what the actual f u c k is going on

id let matthew poison me with arsenic

holy fucking shit

i love that sydney raises his voice when he does an imression of joshua

"You know, when I was a kid, a large portion of my daily diet consisted of complimentary condiment packets from the school cafeteria."...sydney are you okay?/?????

at this point the static is kind of comforting. the only thing consistent at camp other than sydneys trauma

more beeping

huh??? i swear hamsters have been mentioned before

ye ye ye

how does sydney know what hamsters eyes look like if theyve been extinct for millions of years????

" 2:01 AM" WHOA thats new.... is it bc of maintenence? perhaps?

still static

oh fuck no i forgor about the journals

more clocks

FUCK

(extra thing this kinda reminds me of holloweane a bit just bc of the like not being able to give info, of course ms holloway does WANT to, and does try to tell duke, but anyway)

(and now i gotta go do stuff. why did i agree to do stuff after that episode. damn. anyway. this is your reminder to take a break from my ramblings. get some water, stretch, focus your eyes on something that isnt a screen. and of course, if your name is rowan, you should sleep probably)

hi im back

birds. huh.

and a clock tickin, but it stopped before the click.

apple=jedidiah?

what about the second hand???

clocks have knowledge. sydney wants it.

this musics quite the jam

is petrfified wings a thing? it feels farmiliar

" 25-26-100 hour days." hwhat the hell

he wants to be a clock? he wants to be flexible?

is this the extra special clock that fucked up time in that one episode?

wheat feild? related to the death fields? i think sydney mentioned someones wheat allergy in that ep

this is v strange

something.. something train related happened to his dad?

is.. is the next event sydneys death? jedidiahs death?

thats why he doesnt like it? why hes scared of death?

knowledge. thats what they both seek.

FUCK NO elijah go away i dont like you >:(

of course, elijahs using him to get information. also HOW THE FUCK DOES HE KNOW ALL THIS (sydney please get away from that creepy stalker)

"hot tea with honey is good for sore throats." (goddamit emma now i gotta make a tea with honey /rref)

the weird audio thing in the background right after the episode title reminds me of my printer.

poor campers, no salt. nothing better happen to matthew >:(

at least sydney stopped spreading propoganda about the elephant man

oh also hes back to saying the time, am and pm, and our dear friend static

fuck

thats a lot of blood

w h a t

static please help me

what do they have against france

" it’s so funny to watch the fumes struggle to conjure anything worse than what I’ve actually been through." >:0

"[HE BUTCHERES THE PRONUNCIATION]" me too buddy, me too

did...did sydney get a clock?

o no are the penguins gonna come back

sydney are you okay???

all of this better be on the soundtrack

[HE BEGINS TO HYPERVENTILATE AND CRY.] (mee too budy, me too)

" Are you ready? Why did you lie?" w h a t

ok ok ok im definitely gonna finish this today bc if i dont ill stay up thinking about it anyway

more god, sin and death stuff. also mention of adam, possible relation to up and adam? (intro bit still sounds like a hyperventilating printer)

(this is so long i wonder if anyones actually made it this far. wait atcually the fandoms small so prolly.) (i bet rowans reading this. i bet hes not actually sleeping like i told him to, twice.)

NO ELIJAHS BACK (idk if anyone else is here but i am a member of the elijah hate club)

brought up the ceremony thing again. (still seems kinda cultish)

quiet beeps

louder beeps

this "stupid man" sounds a bit like jedidiah...

"He did not understand how to feed it" again the starving thing

or, is it elijah? idk im confused

also wtf is goin on w the accent

:(

so muse is definitely sydney, prophet is elijah, so yeah i think the architect is jedidiah

"I will be the one to crystalize the truth of your perfection" (uh oh is he gonna pull an ambrose)

kinda sounds like hes gonna set sydney on fire

FUCK SYDNEY YOU BETTER TELL JEDIDIAH (pls just make them be okay)

"…I’m going to start sleeping in the room with Jedidiah again." ok ok thats progress good.. maybe hes not so distrusting of jedidiah anymore??? at least hopefully itll help w his pain

silence.

(reading comments) i saw some ppl saying sydney died and got revived and that makes sense considerign the story but also WHAT THE FUCK

reason jedidiah wont tell him about the project? or why hes so intent on keeping him physically safe? (how much does he know about elijah, bc elijah seems to know a lot about him)

another mention of god in the news before the title

no more printer sounds? maybe i just wasnt payin attention

"Hey, what’s this co-nurse stuff? Aren’t you Sydney’s assistant?" joshua out here askin the real questions

idk whats goin on but somethng seems really off

clock

:(

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. that is no way to end an episode. again, this is why i cant finish yellow jacket. i do not like the sad.

idk if its just me but elijah sounded a bit different.

shit this is already episode 31.

trees

also um fuck what the hell is that title. the pyre??? sydneys just gonna go with it?! dude hes gonna set you on fire !!!

also side note taking a moment to appreciate the pacing of the series so far, the whole time its felt like just the right amount is happening, it never feels too rushed or boring. also the attention to detail and callbacks and references are amazing

oh fuck he mentioned the penguins. that means jedidiah will knwo he was looking for the journals

wow it s been a while since he talked about the sun or the moon, kinda nice to hear about the sky again. of course now im remembering jedidiah talking abotu the stars and im sad again.

the moon was in the sky all day? is that normal?

oh. she wants control. like how sydney talked to elijah. to prove he has control. to make a choice.

"was that being fed is not always the same as being nourished." back to the starving thing.

the clock is back

he misses jedidiah :(

still dont know whats goin on with the centipede

"I need to prove I’m worth something to you" (ambrosecore)

"My body is whole. My body is eaten.' spooky.

they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy

:(

32!

glitchy walky talkies? i think thats that kind of beep. something something something RADIATOR? idk as someone whos bad at listening, i kinda wish they put the beginning bits in the transcript, but i guess thats bc mysteries???

static is back. aw, the moon has returned to her duty.

"Ahhhhh, to overthrow nature…" reminds me of the natural order thing joshua said during the camp revolt thing

also i was so right about elijah's culty stuff

communication? are they gonna be happy, maybe, at some point???

...i may have read spoilers in the wiki that they get together in 34, so i hope that means theyll be happy.

fuck fuck fuck fuck noo no non on no no elijah stay away

"Am I alone… ? " D:

glad he has a gun. that definitely cant backfire in any possible way...

fuck fuck fuck why is cabin dungbeetle like thhis

sound design is still so fuckin sick

jedidiah describing sydney: he's, uh, fuck, idk hes hot?

hes so pathetic /affectionate

OH FUCK ELIJAH KIDNAPPED HIM!!! TONIES WHY DIDNT YOU START WITH THAT WHAT THE HELL

no no no you can t end on cliffhangers like that (i say as if im not gonna watch the next one in like a minute) (i could never watch shows or podcasts as they come out i would actually die from the cliffhangers)

oh wait its not the end of the ep.

again sound design is immaculate

if sydney dies at the end of this series so will i, just putting that out there. (oh same with jedidiah)

YO OMG HES SO SMART i forgot about the reflection thing. what did he steal?? idk he took something that was like 'the only way i could seee my reflection' or something.. that makes so much sense.

by the way imma be at least a bit upset if we dont get any more rowan content before the end of the series.

(last ep)

FUCK you elijah i hope you BURN in HELL (sorry to any non elijah-haters, but also, not sorry bc hes bad)

"every day is a living fucking nightmare!" i mean this is just a thing thats said and not, like, unique to the show, but jedidiah does say something similar earlier on i think

the whole love vs want think kinda reminds me of linda, and like wiley bein like 'you dont want to be loved you want to be adored' (of course thats more framed as a villain thing so..)

FUCK WAIT THEY KNOW EACH OTHER???!!!!

"She keeps him like a prison." callback to the prison thing? the ''it felt comfy and safe, like a prison" i think it was something like that

so elijah is connected to the clocks somehow??

FUCK FUCK FUCK I FORGOT HE HAS THE JOURNAL

NO NO NO WHATS HE GOING TO DO

salamander man=elijah?

thats when he died???

second journal entry reminds me of, this is weird, but like dnd memes? and how magic kinda comes naturally to classes like sorcerers and bards, but wizards learn through study?

also im very confused by why the journal entries are so important, and why elijahs voice keeps changing. its really unsettling

so jedidiah was looking into magic to heal him?

"You turn it off and back on again." holy fuck

oh my god so thats why necromancy is such a reaccuring thing? and them being like , dw real necromancy isnt popular

the clock is also an interesting thing, idk what it means tho

aww the statics back :)

why is lucille like this

whats her goal in any of it

"This information… resists being known." (ms holloway vibes)

his, dad, died from that??

" Because I’m nothing without you, Sydney, I really am." (quincent vibes)

i find this switch really interesting bc up untill this moment sydneys always been the one, kind of, like, comfortable with death? and it makes sense now, i guess, because jedidiah was afraid of it, afraid that sydney might find out, and hed get hurt again

"But there’s something kind of sexy about that, though, right?" (a real stroke of luck, when the one man you can murder is one of the men you--- /ref) (sorrry sorry sorry this is a serious conversation ill try to be more normal)

awww gay (now for the happy? maybe? can they please be happy?) (sorry i said id be normal.. ill do that now < ---lying)

"Uhmm… [Sniff] hey, I, uh, haven’t seen you drink water, yet. I don’t think you’ve been drinking water — here. Drink. " (this is a reminder to all my friends who dont hydrate enough. do it. or you'll end up like sydney, nearly burned on a pyre by a weird russian guy in an elephant mask)

the gays? on their way to being happy? even just for a bit? not clickbait? (dw i know elijahs gonna come back and fuck everyone over in a lil bit. just let me have my moment)

"Also, he’s gone. For good." dude dont fucking jinx it!

"Seems the two of ‘em have gotten quite cozy. " (thats kinda gay dude)

i was so confused then i remembered that it was 20 dimentional chess

still kinda confused about the mirror thing

WAIT WHAT THE FUCK THATS THE END

NO NO NO NO NO NO

e32uojkbwqlrhugejbkqfdshoihuqjbkefrbejwkghioujeklfnwmdlskjaipuojlknm, gnwklejfponrdsjlaiojfwejb

im sad now D:

anyway, i am sincerely sorry that you had to read this hot mess. uh, rowan, if youre still here. go to sleep.

ok now im gonna go read fanfic and hope it can heal me from this emotional rollercoaster.

bye <3

[youremyheaven]

hihi!! there’s so much talk about mahadashas rn and i was born into saturn mahadasha and i actually kinda liked it 😭😭

i think one thing saturn does do consistently is reward you for your hard work and consistency, and it really does get so good when that happens. my purvaphalguni saturn is in the third, with magha ketu (so not aspecting each other). i was super quiet and restrained as a child, but always excelled academically. saturn made me very quiet, but it always made sure i was consistently topping classes, and sometimes nationally and stuff (third house, again).

but i always found it so strange how i started flopping in academics the moment my mercury (jyeshta, 6th house) mahadasha started? like isn’t that supposed to help with education or am i wrong here 😭😭

for context, im the first child, born on a saturday (saturn ruled, and my culture really places such a heavy importance on days of the week bc astrology and spirituality and stuff and we have our own superstitions and beliefs surrounding this too). i mainly have jyeshta, anuradha, and ardra placements but some swati, and mula too.

ive always been a little upset that i didn’t have much saturnian influence in the chart, not because i like saturn, but because i feel like there are a lot of saturnian details surrounding my birth and it just felt like astrology kinda lacked in “validating” (if that’s the word for it), my saturnian influence.

but i think the moral of the story is that saturn isnt horrible, mine is the most horribly aspected planet in the chart, but maybe it was easier for me as i was born into it.

p.s. this is so messy i’m so sorry but yeah i just hope this helps some people who are entering their saturn mahadasha soon because it does get better with time!! (unlike this mercury mahadasha that’s so bland and boring and has me counting down the years till its over))

but yes anyway i hope you have a lovely day tomorrow and thank you so much!!

aww tysm for sharing your experience<333 thats very affirming to hear and i agree with you!! saturn rewards like no one else but it makes sure you "earn it" and YESS IT DOES GET BETTER AS IT GOESSS <333 the way saturn humbles u tho 😮‍💨

honestly having mercury in a water sign isnt great 😬and yours is in scorpio rashi too in the 6h of health,obstacles, hostilities, challenges, debt etc,,,, lets just say its a tough placement

also wherever leo is placed in your chart, that placement is highlighted and becomes prominent so with saturn in purvaphalguni, you experience saturnian influence more even tho you dont have other Saturn placements as you say, esp in the 3h of communication + what we gain through our efforts, you're comfortable working towards your goals and abiding by Saturn's binding power which is why you were rewarded for it.

[sopebubbles]

Hi! I really love reading Lone Wolf but I was a little curious about the pack because it kind of seems like a lot of them don’t really like each other? I don’t want that to come off the wrong way at all btw! I more so mean I don’t really understand why they’re all together as one pack when there seems to be a lot of distrust and animosity between them (Jin thinking Yoongi wants to take his place, Yoongi thinking Namjoon would be happy to see him go, etc.). I know people have been really excited to see more of the interactions between y/n and the boys but I think that’s still so much more to understand about the other dynamics.

Yeah i get what you mean! I think the important thing is to remember that this is a long established relationship for the rest of the pack. Like, why do marriages break down after years? Because people stop communicating clearly, or things happen that cause new or exacerbate old insecurities, or things they used to be able to ignore come to the surface, or they take intimacy for granted when it isnt. But they're also in a committed relationship with people they love even if its not a burning passion like it used to be. They stick around bc thats what commitment means. Sometimes when a relationship gets like that you hold on and hope that its just a passing phase, that the small annoyance will fade. But sometimes instead they build up and cause tension and then you have to decide to live in misery or work it out. I think thats where we see the pack now.

Namjoon and Jin both have significant insecurities about their place in the pack that stem from pride. Jin thinks pack alpha is his by right and Namjoon thinks he belongs at the top right behind Jin because he was the second alpha to be there, but both feel very threatened by Yoongi when he comes along (in a way they arent by tae bc hes babyboy) and deep down they never fully got over that. That tension has always remained and is exacerbated by the possible addition of a new pack member, on top of their issues over the past year.

Yoongi isnt insensitive to all of that. He knows how they must feel, but he's also never pushed dominance over them. He's the kind to just do the things that he thinks need to be done, taking care of the pack etc. even though he's not 'in charge' and as long as he does that he's good. But even after love did develop between them, Namjoon and Jin have always felt insecure about him bc Yoongi gives off that pack alpha energy. Not talking about it for a long time bc they thought they could ignore it is how they got here. I wouldn't go so far as to call it animosity. I think hurt and insecurities are difficult things for alphas to calmly express.

But you raise a good question because at this point, Yoongi and Jimin could walk away. And maybe with the issues you raise, that would be for the best. Is it a relationship worth saving? And if it is are they willing to put in the work?

I feel like i keep getting tugged this way and that by reader response. Which is my fault and why im not a huge fan of posting as I write. Sometimes i focus on their relationships and people say im not giving enough yn. Or i focus on the yn x pack relationships and im not giving enough of the boys. Idk i guess im still looking for the right balance, but i appreciate your feeback. I know its well intentioned and I'll keep it in mind. Sorry.

[xplrvibes]

alright im half way thru and here are my thoughts so far:

1. I truthfully don’t know any of the controversy around joe rogan, i just know he’s hella popular for being controversial and he’s someone i’d be on edge to have a convo with bc what i have seen is he questions everything and he isn’t afraid to let you know he doesn’t agree. but snc seem to really like him and vibe with him and it does seem super out of the blue for joe to want ghost hunters to come investigate his place (I hope this isnt a set up). either way, sounds interesting.

2. that contract from o-park mall is challenge worthy. they spelt colbys name entirely wrong (misspelt his last name and used his nickname and not his legal name) making it null and void from my understanding. i would also say the same abt sam as they used a nickname not a legal name. A good lawyer could wiggle them out of that if they cared.

3. loved hearing colbys take on religion. im the same, i’m not so much religious as i have a relationship with God. i think thats way more important than being in a religious community. and i also feel the same way about just knowing there’s something else out there. also interesting he was the only one on the table who doesn’t have dreams of dying. chop that up to trusting in God and not being afraid bc he knows God has the perfect plan and everything is in control, or just generally not afraid to die for other reasons, who knows. definitely fascinating, either way.

alright i’ll be back in 1.5hr hours with part 2 comments. I probably missed a bunch of stuff i could’ve commented on but these are my standout comments.

- aussie anon

I finished the podcast late last night and then immediately went to bed without really doing a deep dive into my thoughts on the whole thing (aside from a few choice areas that stuck in my brain and had to be discussed in dm's last night lol), so I'm going to use your reviews to sort of start my own review, and then will probably finish up with an additional post later on side thoughts - cause I have a lot lol.

1, The thing with Joe Rogan is that he kind of plays both sides of the fence, in terms of not just politics, but pretty much anything going on (he will have on conservatives and liberals, will have on atheists and people like snc, will have on scientists and then people who believe in UFOs, etc) and so he tends to be very controversial because of that. I don't listen to him, his viewpoints on certain things aren't really my cup of tea and he has in the past said some stuff in his pursuit of riding the fence that was not good and gross and everything, so this is not me defending him or whatever - but at the end of the day, he has the most listened to podcast on earth and love him or hate him, is a household name. Them being invited on his podcast, being treated very well by him, and then him keeping in touch with them and inviting them out to his comedy club is objectively a big deal for them and their visibility and they aren't going to turn that down because twitter - who has pretty much made it clear they lowkey hate snc anyway lol - have an issue with the collab.

I actually found that part of the conversation interesting, because the whole thing came about because his daughter was a fan of theirs, which I just find kind of hilarious and random. Imagine how many people of notoriety and fame they meet or could potentially meet because those peoples' teenage children are fans.

2, I don't think they would actually get arrested for showing up at that mall at this point in their careers, anyway - most malls do not have the uumph to take shit like that truly seriously, and both S & C have made it public that they've been back in there since (one time right after the release of their book, Colby went into their Barnes and Noble with his mom and illegally signed a few of the books on the shelf and posted about it all over his instagram lol). But it is objectively kind of hilarious that they are "banned" from entering the mall and yet they've had consumer products in three of their stores (B&N, Hot Topic and Zumiez), and have had their faces on the store fronts of two of those three.

3, I strangely found that interesting as well, and I normally tend to zone right the fuck out when people talk religion (sorry, all). I was raised Catholic but am not religious these days in my own life, although I certainly do believe that something else has to be going on, hence all the ghosts and stuff. But for whatever reason, hearing others talk about religion always makes me feel wildly uncomfortable - I think it's just feeling like that's something personal and so different from person to person and I just don't like feeling like I'm intruding on their privacy by hearing it (even if they are offering it up freely), if that makes sense? I don't know, I'm just weird about those conversations in general.

But I find it interesting when these two talk religion, firstly because of the content they make and how it would tie back into their own personal belief system, but also just how interesting it is that this is one of those areas where they kind of balance each other on opposite sides of the scale, and yet somehow come together perfectly at the end. It's an interesting phenomenon with them.

Also, all of them talking about dying in their dreams and Colby just piping in with "I've never died in my dreams 😃" like go off, you sweet little just happy to be there king.

[quodekash]

the eclipse os2 episode commentary continued (bc i ran out of images in the first part)

goLFING???? OF ALL THE SPORTS. YOU CHOSE GOLF??????

its so boring

and yeah, theres not as much exercise in golf as there is in other sports like footy and cricket and stuff

OR SO YOU THOUGHT

you have to move back and forth and all around to collect the golf balls

idk much about golf tho

im not sure if ive ever played actual golf

i dont think id like it tho

the only golf i like is the director of the eclipse

and golf on the wii, thats fun

i got sidetracked talking about golf

shARING ROOMS BASED ON THE TEAMS??? damn wat, you're brutal

hes probably just trying to keep his mind as clear as possible, which wont happen if the couples sleep in the same rooms as each other lmao

"to be honest, im worried about thua" well what on earth does that mean

are you just referencing all the times you were worried about thua when he was hanging out with aye

ARE YOU SPECIFICALLY REFERENCING THE TIME THUA WAS AT YOUR HOUSE STUDYING, AND YOU SAID "youre always spending time with aye, im jealous" (or something along those lines) AND THEN COVERED IT UP SAYING YOURE JUST WORRIED ABOUT HIM??

ARE YOU SUBTLY TRYING TO SAY YOURE JEALOUS OF AYE COS YOU CANT SLEEP IN THE SAME ROOM AS YOUR BOYFRIEND??

cos if so

i. i picked up on that. and that feels important for everyone to know. and now you know.

"aye. dont touch thua" lmao calm down bro

(read this to the tune of the sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g song from when we were like 12) WAT AND NAMO, SHARING A ROOM. F-U-C---

"so what did you and aye argue about?" "...we didnt" bro dont lie

in all honesty, aye gives great advice. like, he always seems to know the right thing to say to help someone make a decision and stuff

oh no

communication issues

why must there be communication issues

pls guys just talk to each other

akk, all you gotta do is tell aye how youre feeling

thua, all you gotta do is tell kan what you would like and need

aye and kan, listen

its really simple, guys, its really not hard at all in the slightest

jeez thats a standoff and a half (note: wat is leaning on namo's shoulder. just something for everyone to observe.)

bro why do you have to be shirtless

thank you namo for saying what we're all thinking

aight theyre all playing in the water now, and playing in the water tends to make akk and aye feel better and stuff

THEY ALL LOOK LIKE THEYRE HAVING SO MUCH FUN

NO IM GONNA CRY AGAIN

BUT ENTIRELY BC I LOVE THIS GROUP SO MUCH

THE HAPPINESS IS STRONG

noooooo namo dont have an existential crisis about graduating and growing up and saying goodbyes and potentially never seeing your friends again, you'll set me off into one of my own

"will you forget me?" "we will." lmao rip namo i guess

damn that phone is loud, how can they hear it over the river. its almost like... like it was edited in in post or something. hmmmmmmmmm

of coURSE AKK'S BIRTHDAY ISNT BROUGHT UP TIL AYE LEAVES THE AREA

its fine tho bc aye knows its akk's birthday. right? he knows, right? im sure he knows. hes gonna surprise akk. r i g h t ? ? ?

i like these funky little friendship bonding sessions, its very nice

sponsorship timeeeee

THEY USE THE SAME PRODUCTS- SOBBING AGAIN

i know they probably bought them at the same time from the same store or something but thats not the point its still super cute

COMMUNICATION ISSUES WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME

JUST SAY WHAT YOURE THINKING

YOUVE BOTH LITERALLY SAID TO EACH OTHER 'youre allowed to be weak. at least around me.'

SO BE FREAKING WEAK, TELL HIM EVERYTHING ON YOUR MIND SO THAT YOU CAN UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER BETTER AND MAKE UP AND BADABING BADABOOM HAPPINESS

SONG??

SONG

SONGGGG

is song the way that they communicate

i knew this would happen. i literally know this would happen.

just cos theyre assigned different rooms to their partners, it doesnt mean theyre gonna actually abide by those rules. theyre just gonna switch. badabing badaboom everyone is gay

"can you stop asking already?" "why?" "if you dont stop talking, how can i kiss you?" brooooooo

IT'S LIKE EPISODE 7, BUT BETTER, BECAUSE THEY ACTUALLY SUCCEED THIS TIME

GOOD JOB, GAYS GUYS, YOU DID IT. IM PROUD OF YOU. COS MAN EPISODE 7 WAS FRUSTRATING

but its all good now

THEY BOTH PLAY GUITAR

HOW WAS I NOT AWARE OF THIS

OHHH AKK IS LEARNING GUITAR

GRJHBGDK

okay theyre talking to each other, finally

its gonna end in another argument probably but at least akk is getting towards telling aye how hes making him feel rn and theyre communicating and working it out

aye, ily, and i know youre tryna make him feel better, but this isn't solving the problem

yeah hes cute when hes angry, but he doesnt like being angry with you because (as he has just tried to tell you) it makes him feel like youre aggravating him on purpose for no reason and makes him question your relationship.

akk, youre also at fault here because you didnt talk to him sooner about your thoughts and feelings

but right now in the current moment aye is being a little bit mean and a little bit silly (but not silly in the fun way)

theyre making out now tho. but they still havent made up.

its fine, theyll get to that tomorrow.

well, technically tonight. it's 2am.

speaking of that tho, IVE FINISHED THE EPISODE, FINALLY

talk about time blindness, it takes me three times the amount of time that the episode actually takes to watch it

final thoughts: i am excited for tomorrow (tonight??), this episode was very very very good, the eclipse makes me happy, happy is good, i need to go to sleep

goodnight folks! this will be even more incoherent next episode because ill be even more exhausted than i am now! byebyeeeeee

[silverjirachi]

For the pride ask 13, 14, 25

13. Do you choose to reclaim slurs? Why or why not?

Yes because every single term used to describe gay people besides “homosexual” was literally a slur and always have been. In the late 1900s this was “inverted,” later on it was “fairy” and “gay” and “queer” and all the terms we now use today. Because any words used to describe us were always to describe us as degenerate. It’s important that we have reclaimed them. The fact that there is a sliding scale now between “worse” slurs for gay people and common slurs that gay people use to describe themselves (and people outside the community too- like gay isnt a slur anymore) is a sign that it is working.

14. How do things like upbringing or neurodivergency affect your identity?

I just touched on this in a previous ask but catholicism made it take a long long time and I missed out on what could have been probably a lot more formative young gay experiences. Being ND probably affects it but idk how.

25. What queer discourse frustrates you the most?

Absolutely any gatekeeping of other peoples’ identities. People can have multiple contradicting labels that also do not contradict bc thats just how humans work. The one that makes me most angry is people saying bisexual lesbians can’t/shouldnt be a thing. I think this is because I would like to be a bisexual gay man and you don’t really see that one under fire ever. Not to mention how gender can play into that.

Ask me gay shit!

[naturenaruto]

but also im laughin at my prev reblog abt sam having a supernaturally strong immune system- and not at all bc of demon blood lol but bc he grew up in rank motels where there were infinite strains of mold and various other evils and it......did something to him,,,,,,,,also just by going thruout the days/cases..hopping rusty fences...eating spoiled and expired food..showering with suspicious well water..sleeping on ancient musty mattresses with devious dust...dean started noticing he never needed doctors visits..never required a tetanus shot...cuts healed fast...someone could cough on his face and hed never get sick..........imagine the horror when he finally was around ~normal~ ppl and sure hed wash his hands but like he mentions once he never gets a tetnus or flu shot and theyre like 🤔 someone asks abt the food in the communal fridge if its still ok to eat and he unthinkingly goes off on this tangent abt how once he was so delirious he grabbed the food in the motel fridge and then passed out on the kitchen floor and the next day when he woke up he saw it had bluish black mold on it bc it wasnt even their food the last residents left it and e was TOTALLY FINE so aha this 3 day old sandwich is totally fine aha and theyre all like 😶

and then he regails a story abt how once he was the only kid in an entire town who didnt get like,,the school plague and thats why its so important to get enough sleep and theyre like 😕 and then after a few months he gets known for bein the 7ft tall guy around campus who will physically carry you home after a party so you dont drive or get attacked and as he deadlifts some equally big guy off the floor of a frathouse he mentions how this is nothin bc once he had to carry his heavyass big brother "about" 12 miles through "light" woods to get to a clinic when he was around 15 bc said brother got alcohol poisioning at a cabin they were vacationing at bc sam ate all the food so maybe he didnt realize how much hed had so thats why its so important to not drink on an empty stomach guys and make sure you have a friend pour water down your throat and have someone who can cut you off and theyre all like 😟 and then yet another time hes playing a pickup game of flag football and they all get rly into it and one girl ends up getting her finger popped out of joint so sam kinda asks if its ok if he puts it back in yknow, before the ambulance shows up just to help with the pain and shes like in shock so she says yeah okay and he puts the right pressure on and holds her arm and its over before she even realizes and decides to call off the ambulance and just go to the school clinic and it saves her a few hundred dollars and then yet another time jess drags him to her friends friends sisters sorority end of the year party and its a bit more intense than any others hed gone to and after a few hours demons must whisper to someone that yes, they can make that jump from the second story window to a makeshift trampoline (made out of bedsheets) and he ends up with his tibia poking out of his shin and isnt even screaming bc of shock but sam knows the ambulance isnt gonna get there in time so he moves around everyone screaming and puking and wraps it up using jess' crop cardigan and keeps as much blood in as he can while keeping the guy awake and so there just gets to be alot of stories and rumours abt him, not that noone else can stitch a wound or knows how to do shit but sometimes he'll tell a story and his friends think theres something a bit off about it but they dont mention it bc they like sam sams cool sams a genuinly nice guy and yeah maybe sometimes jess will gently cut him off and steer the conversation to something else and yeah sure sometimes ppl get a weird vibe from how nonchalant abt things he can get, like nothings a big deal, like that fight wasnt soo crazy, like that guy isnt even that scary, like the bathrooms in the humanties building isnr even that gross, like that professor isnt even all that, like hes coasting, like nothing phases him unless they bring up that brother he mentioned once, then he wont be in class for the next four days, and sure sometimes he gives off a weird vibe and sure sometimes he'll be telling a story and he'll trail off like hes suddenly remebered who hes talking to and theyll be left with a cliffhanger, not knowing what happened after he pulled a knife on some guy at the library when he was 11, and sure sometimes jess will cut him off when she feels like its going somewhere and she'll steer the conversation elsewhere, and sure sometimes when someone fucks around a bit too much theyll be met with a cold stare thatll give everyone around the heebiejeebies for awhile, but hey, sams a good guy sams a helpful guy sams a nice guy, sams just some guy

[sadisthetic]

I love your String Theory Au. It hurts so beautifully.🥺 Personally I have always been drawn to the trope of healing through pain. Like I can imagine that after the pain of severing the bond, Jay's string is constantly hurting when he is near Nya. Like most people instinctively avoid their ex's after a breakup but Jay can't because they are both part of the team. When they decide to retie their strings Jay still feels pain when Nya limits or rejects his attempts to show affection. This would cause some tension as Nya feels rushed or pressure in the relationship and makes her draw away from Jay. Jay's insecurities would spiral as he would wonder if this was the mistake that would cause Nya to cut the bond again. They would rely on others a lot at the beginning to communicate and set boundaries. This is where a lot of the platonic bruise would happen. Cole would help Jay feel comfortable with expressing his need for affection without fearing rejection. Nya would confide in Kai or Lloyd about needing some boundaries. I also feel their relationship would be heavily stunted at the start because Nya is unaware of the affects the original bond had on Jay until they have their first major disagreement. Nya would unintentionally blurt out that rebonding was a mistake and cause Jay to have a panic attack while clutching his string to his chest. Either Lloyd or Cole would pull her aside and reveal the damage caused by the broken bond. The angst just continues while they try to slowly mend themselves and their bond. 😭

well firstly i gotta say. string theory is a very different concept from string of fate sjhgerghsldfjl

secondly. thanks! im glad you like it! you really took off with the idea didnt you lol. though personally i imagine their "working it out" phase a bit different. a lot more awkwardness and like tacit mutual understand and also little communication between the two (bc its so awkward) at the beginning. the angst isnt over but worst of it has passed at this point. they reset. and i dont think their string would be under threat of being cut again. thats bad on nyas end because shes the one to instate the relationship and she would be a total flake if she wanted to break it off again so easily. also. its important to note they arent quite dating. their relationship immediately post skybound is ambiguous. the string isnt a symbol that theyre together. its a symbol that they care about each other. and that theyre going to work through difficulties. theyre friends no matter what feelings the other has for the other. and if/when they do decide to get together for reals they Still would be friends too

i like angst. and im sorry about shutting down your ideas a bit but i think their angst would be a bit more narratively productive. for nya to say retying their string was a mistake even accidentally means she hasnt changed at all. and i think jay would have a better sense of nyas boundaries at this point. they both grown in skybound and i think the shared trauma of it would give them something to bond over also

[magnoliamyrrh]

said it before but what bothers me immensely abt tankies and certain ussr apologists is that suddenly when its done for "the right cause" the ends unquestionably justify the means. not for any other system not for any other thing, just for this one, just for their one system or cult-like leader, its all good

its suddenly fine to mind control populations with propaganda if its for communism. and its suddenly fine to kill or force into hard unpayed labour anyone who is an "enemy" or is "opposition" or slightly disagrees, even if theyre are the very poor, peasants, or other leftists even. its suddenly fine to liquidate intellectuals and historians. its suddenly okay go ban abortion and to make homosexuality illegal, this time were doing it for the right cause you just dont get the nuance. its suddenly okay to ban religion and to specifically targed minority religions, its suddenly fine to say that muslims or indigenous people need to be civilized, its suddenly fine to ban shamanism, traditional peasants beliefs and religions, to impose atheism, and to say that ppl need to be enlightened form their backward nomadic ways for the sake of society. its suddenly fine to spread russian culture and language as superior while trying to commit cultural genocide on minorty groups, destroy their museums, religious centeres, and ban their languages and cultures. its suddenly fine to push for rapid mass industrialization regardless of the consequences, bc were doing it differently from the evil capitalists. its suddenly fine to exploit the land and people, its suddenly fine to lable disabled ppl as invalids, its suddenly fine for the state to rule with absolute and brute force, its suddenly fine for class differences to exist when we reinvent the classes to be "those with us" and "those against us," and its evil when in capitalism your families social standing and economy dictates your social position, but in communism when your parents were evil enemies of the state its fine for you and the next 4 generations to pay for this. like????? my bro......

"do the ends justify the means" isnt just some sort of ploy to get the people to never revolt, or an exteme of saying nonviolence and acceptence of opression is a higher moral standing and, again, opressed ppl should never revolt. thats not it. its not saying there wont have to be sacrifices made in implementing a new system either. but "do the ends justify the means" is an incrediblely, incredibly important moral question, one which is important as well so that your new movement or revolution doesnt end up just as bad and opressive as the shit thst came before it