#and that's why some people may be doubtful
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how are you human?
so many interesting comments and thoughts on my post saying buds should consider not coming up to strangers in marginalized groups and saying 'how are you a real person that actually exists?'. i will point out this: despite my VERY gentle tone a few buds said i was having a 'meltdown' for even mentioning it
others said i was being too serious for someone who is ‘not a real person’. so if you would any more evidence of what it is like to be a buckaroo like myself there it is. every day, autistic folks who may seem ‘weird’ are bombarded with messages and comments and implications that they are fundamentally not human beings
sometimes it is outright and blatant like the comments on last post saying ‘well why are you getting mad? you are not even real’ and sometimes it is in the very subtle ways that folks use language when they talk to us. there is huge difference between ‘how do you exist?’ and ‘i am glad you exist.’
anyway, something that i think many people who have not lived this experience dont seem to understand is i KNOW the poster who said ‘how are you a real person that actually exists’ probably meant it as a compliment. that is THE POINT of why i am taking a moment out of my trot to gently and anonymously let them know how it might feel to be on other end of something like this as a queer or autistic or otherwise marginalized buckaroo. it is obviously not their intent to actually hurt someone, so i am letting them know
maybe because queerness and autism are not physically apparent it is hard to explain, but imagine going up to very tall or very short person and saying ‘cant BELIEVE you are real’ as a compliment. not a great way to treat others. on my original post, an indigenous author chimed in with their own experience and feelings similar to my own. a woman who said she was very tall told her story. point is, while i do not have their experience, what i am saying has a universal thread for 'othered' folks
point is: i UNDERSTAND there is this sort of exaggerated or ironic (or maybe even sometimes very literal) language around fandom to say things like ‘how are you a human?’ to creators, but since it is not your intent to hurt, i think you might want to know how that feels to marginalized buckaroos sometimes.
obviously you can say anything you want. i do not hold it against you. also, if you think ‘oh no, did i say something like this to chuck at a convention? i am so embarrassed' then DO NOT WORRY i promise you buckaroo you are just fine. i present myself in a way that is unusual by definition, so i have pretty thick skin about this type of thing and a lot of patience. MANY buds start off thinking i am ‘a joke’ and then become fans over time and i am glad to trot beside them and prove love is real.
however there are other autistic or queer or marginalized buckaroos with smaller platforms who hear this just as much as me, so i think it is important to say it loudly and maybe together we can work on making a very slight shift in the way we speak to the ‘others’ in our lives
we do not NEED to let subtle dehumanization slip into our language. in some cases it has been called ‘micro aggressions’ but i think buds dont often consider what that means for COMPLIMENTS. ultimately, telling marginalized people YOU ARE SO AMAZING YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY EXIST may seem very fun and silly on the surface and for some folks it probably feels that way, but for others it can feel like a reminder of the broader doubt about their humanity. you can just say ‘YOU ARE AMAZING’ without the reminder of the many times autistic or queer or marginalized folks are told in a very serious and pointed way (like comments on the last post) ‘YOU ARE SO WEIRD THAT I HAVE DECIDED YOU ARE NOT REAL’
buckaroos can take this information and apply it to their interactions, or they can ignore it, that is totally fine. we are all trotting our own trots and proving love in our own way and thats okay bud, HOWEVER i feel like it is important to at least let folks know, even if that means getting told i am having a ‘meltdown’. i think it is important to have complex or difficult conversations if it will prove a little more love in the long run. THANK YOU FOR READING BUCKAROOS. i am honored to trot forward with you can tackle this kind of thing with you, and honored you buckaroos have created such an amazing space with me to pull apart these kind of feelings. THIS IS PROOF THAT LOVE IS REAL LETS TROT
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I need to know why L's sisters are always the ones making trouble on social media and looking for attention. I really don't understand why them
Look, im going to give you an answer from PR because that's my life so why not lmfao. And since i've worked with one influencer recently, i have no doubts regarding what is happening at this point with louis' sisters.
Im going to try to explain this as short and succinctly as possible. and im really sorry to say this but this is how things work in real life, i beg you to leave your parasocial relationship with louis aside for three seconds to think coldly about the situation, because i know perfectly well how some of you take every statement made related to louis. several statements can exist at the same time, not everything is black and white, etc. thank you...
Some of you may ask, why always the twins? and there is, actually, an answer to that question. The answer, believe it or not, is not because Lottie is older than the twins. Partly her age is related, but it is not the reason itself... let's see:
Lottie started working as Lou Teasdale's assistant during the OTRA Tour, and since then and thanks to her, she got in touch with many important job opportunities that another teenager who does make-up well wouldn't have.
She has been in Fashion Week, worked for Selena Gomez, etc. Everything from a very young age. Today, she doesn't live exclusively from social media, as many believe. Her income is not only from "being an influencer", she has her brand tanologist, she published a book.... In Lottie's case, social media is a fundamental communication tool that allows her to obtain opportunities that generate income, but it is not her entire income per se.
On the other hand, Daisy and Phoebe were too young to take advantage of job opportunities at that time (1D days) because they were kids... they, again it may not seem like it, didn't have the same level of important job opportunities as Lottie had at such a young age. Lottie was at Fashion Week when she was 17... the twins are still very young and their proper working careers are just starting.
Phoebe and Daisy started their modelling careers in 2020 and to this day, they are involved in social media, promoting products (swaps) and modelling in small photo shoots. They haven't really had a big job opportunity like Lottie has had.
Unlike Lottie, they did not have the same visibility from the start and their income comes exclusively from social media. Modelling and swaps/promo are things they do through social media, their working tool is Instagram/TikTok. They need that platform for their income.
Now, if you have social media accounts set up as public and as a content creator you will know this, but for those who don't: those who create content on social media in this way (influencers, among other cases) have their own tool that helps them most to calculate how much they will earn and that is metrics. The famous "professional dashboard/insights" from Instagram for example.
To hire an influencer (in addition to doing a previous investigation of who you should hire) you should ask them for their metrics so that you can reach an agreement on the amount of money for that exchange/interaction/etc. A fixed base number is set, but depending on the reach, the more money they receive is directly proportional to the amount of interactions and views that post has had. Like on instagram if you share the post as branded content, the company you tag can see your metrics.
The fact that the twins are the ones who post content that they know people will go to their stories/posts/comments to see or will make them follow them on their social media is not a coincidence because the amount of people who interact with them (whatever the reason, as your personal reason is not seen on a metric lol) is what generates them revenue, quite literally.
Yes, it can happen that once in a while as something "casual" because they are people, but not as a generality and even less so when a few days later they do another promotion or they are in one. What is going on and whether it is right/morally correct or not are two different questions, by the way.
This is what happens, welcome to the world of influencers! It doesn't matter if you agree or not, if you like it or not, or whatever, those are your personal opinions (which are perfectly fine, we all have them) but... that's how it is. lol.
I personally don't think it's right to use babygate as a method of generating interaction, and just as I brought it to the attention of the clark family, I will bring it to the attention of the tomlinson's. the child is a huge victim of this, everyone is violating his right to privacy and honestly its disgusting to see after like 9 years. It seems to me that gaining interactions (that lead you to gain money) with such a horrible situation and with a child seems to me something that people should be ashamed of, to be honest. Beyond babygate, imagining that larry and babygate never existed, it's wrong to do this, it goes way beyond fandom, which i think is something a lot of people don't truly understand.
if you really want the twins to stop posting this kind of shit, im sorry to inform yall that the only solution to the problem is going to be to stop following them, stop looking at their stories, stop liking and viewing their posts, stop commenting, etc. any viewing/interaction is reflected in a metric, check it out for yourself (besides there are more metric apps than just the ones IG/Tiktok gives you). If you spread a screenshot taken by someone else or stuff, you are not interacting directly with their account, so it's not the same ofc, but if someone doesn't understand how it works, they will go and see it for themselves and and they will generate interactions. It's impossible not to have them on the radar, i know, so at least i ask yall to focus on what's really important, and not on every idiotic thing that happens, because that way they just make it worse, literally.
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Classical language and paranormal powers : Anya Forger and Arnold Crowley
Crack theory that I haven't seen anywhere, but I can't get it out of my head since ch95, so here goes.
We've had enough clues across the story so far to understand that there is a link between Anya's past and telepathic powers and her mastering classical language (which is not spoken anymore nowadays, according to Twilight), which recently earned her a stella :
While the nature of the link is still unclear, I can't help but question if Sensei hid other clues about this topic.
More specifically, Anya scored second, a big victory for her, but we eventually even met the kid who scored slightly better than she did in ch 95:
Moreover, he seemed particularly interested in Anya and wanted to meet her, before the dance party gave him the chance to.
Of course, it can be purely mundane kid behavior or just a comical way to annoy Damian, but still, I couldn't help but notice that mainly he, like Anya, has weirdly shaped pointed hair.
Might I even add, he has 3 horns/antennas, while Anya only has 2 (is it why he scored better ?). That's one similarity to two kids scoring well in classical language. Could be coincidental, I hear you.
Even more recently though, Anya and Yor encountered Melinda at a festival, when trying to get a fortune telling for Anya. Melinda shyly explained to Yor that it's a hobby of hers and that she believes in destiny and paranormal activities & powers, like telepathy :
However, Melinda is not super confident in her reading abilities, which is why she's not charging any money for it. But did you notice the name of another fortune teller who seems very accurate and popular, in ch107 ?
That's right : Magical * Crowley
Of course, at this point we don't know at all whether or not Arnold from ch95 is related to this fortune teller. However, I kinda doubt Sensei would mistakenly give the same name to the weird boy who beat Anya in classical language and to a popular fortune teller, when someone like Melinda, of all people, hardcores believes paranormal forces and powers are real.
Melinda who, by the way, is extremely scared of her husband who may have undergone surgery to get telepathic powers at some point.
Last but not least, we also know that fortune telling is likely to be a real thing in this universe, meaning Magical * Crowley's could have actual powers, considering Anya's family already owns a dog, Bond, who can see the future.
TL;DR Arnold Crowley from ch95 may be a kid with a strange power, like Anya is.
What this has to do with them being good at classical language, which is not used anymore nowadays, I don't know**, but I'd bet a few pennies it's going to be plot relevant.
**EDIT : To specify on what I currently imagine, since Anya's powers disappear during the new moon, maybe her powers depend on some kind of emitting/transmitting wavelengths (received by her hair horns/antennas), that could be coded with classical language (since it's not spoken anymore) ? It is a spy manga after all. x)
And if I were Endo-sensei, I'd take it a step further and reveal that she was actually hearing/reading all along people's thoughts in classical language, because that's how her powers were coded. She just doesn't realize it, because she's 4 years old, which is why most of her mistakes during classical language tests were spelling ones.
We shall see later. :) Thanks for reading and happy new year 2025 !
#spy x family#anya forger#arnold crowley#melinda desmond#donovan desmond#yor forger#sxf108#sxf107#sxf95#sxf theory#my analysis
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One thing that irks me when playing the game is how silver’s sleeping disorder is reacted to by the other characters, especially the teachers. I mean like, I get on some level that they’re all based on villains so they’re not going to be the nicest, but you’re telling me you see a kid just passing out out of nowhere constantly and the first thing they do is say that he’s lazy and berate him for something he obviously can’t control? Even if his condition isn’t a medical one like narcolepsy and is part of his curse/blessing, it’s still debilitating and affects his daily life. I don’t expect twisted wonderland to have like, disability protection but give the kid a break man he’s trying his best 😭. It also bothers me when other students are like “yeah man I get it schools boring I get sleepy too”. Like, yall have seen him suddenly fall asleep standing up and in random places on campus, it is so obviously not the same thing! And then Silver apologizes for it like every time! no! stop it! don’t apologize for something you literally can’t control
Sorry for the rant. It’s just been something bugging me because its so similar to how real world disabilities that aren’t physical are often brushed over by people and it gets me feeling heated 😭
Oooh, that's an interesting analogy 🤔
Before I talk more on the topic, I want to open with a few disclaimers: I will be discussing various characters’ reactions to Silver’s blessing/curse-induced narcolepsy (for lack of a better term), which may parallel real-life reactionary behaviors related to persons with disabilities or disorders. Know what you are reading, and please skip this post if you do not feel emotionally equipped to take it in.
Additionally, I want to make it clear that I am NOT defending any of those behaviors in this post. I will be attempting to offer in-universe explanations, NOT excuses, for why characters may act the way they do in regard to Silver’s condition. This doesn’t make the behavior any less unacceptable.
That’s all! If you’re all set, feel free to proceed below the cut.
I think, from the perspective of the students, it may be difficult to know what's going on with Silver?? Of course, that doesn't make their reactions or their behavior okay, but it's more understandable where they're coming from. Many young adults (unfortunately) aren't educated on and don't have experience/knowledge of how to handle situations where a peer displays abnormal behaviors. This may be especially true at Night Raven College, where the students are described to be very prideful and primarily concerned with themselves, or, if they help at all, they expect something in return. Many of Silver's classmates may not know him on a personal enough level to be familiar with his affliction or care enough to intervene if he falls asleep standing up. I doubt that most students at NRC would think of a peer beyond how they initially present, much less even consider factors beyond their control.
Additionally, others may not feel a need to step in due to the "bystander effect", a psychological phenomenon in which people are less likely to offer aid if there are others present. The theory goes that everyone just assumes someone else will do something about the situation, which has the unintended result of no one doing anything. Since Silver often falls asleep in public places, this could, in part, explain why so few bother helping.
I guess another component of it could be that some of his peers have simply gotten used to it by now?? (Several characters, even first years like Ortho, indicate that they anticipate he will fall asleep like 80% of the time.) Silver's a second year, so maybe NRC students did notice and attempt to assist in the first year, only to become annoyed with it when the symptoms persisted and so it could have led to peers thinking it's a "normal" thing for him.
I get the sense that Silver doesn't exactly go around telling everyone and anyone about his condition in detail (not that he has to, but I'd imagine that this lack of communication probably doesn't help his classmates' perception of him). He tends to describe his condition as "a personal problem" or blames himself or a lack of diligence for his symptoms. And honestly, I don't blame him for that; he didn't learn about the origins of his curse until book 7, and no doctor Lilia took him to could help. What else could Silver feasibly believe when all else fails? It must be his own doing. Silver has numerous voice lines apologizing for dozing off again and actively seeks out ways to "correct" or counteract his sleepiness. When this is how one presents their own condition, it may naturally cause those around him to believe that the sleepiness is "his fault"/due to his own actions. "Maybe he stayed up late last night," Ruggie suggests. Even Kalim, someone I'd consider Silver's friend, makes similar assumptions.
I will say that not every character is rude to Silver about his sleepiness. Vil might berate Silver for "playing the part of a sleeping princess" and Floyd might tell him, "People walk here. Find someplace else to snooze," but Ruggie appears to show some concern/shock for Silver when he shows up in the school store barely being able to stand, Jade tries to wake him up gently, etc. I'm not sure if the writing being inconsistent here was on accident or not, but I do think that some of the... less than desirable... behaviors may be because the narrative treats Silver's condition like a charm point most of the time. Like... Silver's sleepiness is often used to "sell" his appeal to fans ("Look at how cute he is! Eepy boi!"), or used for comedy in-universe (like when he uses Sebek as a pillow or when Silver blatantly falls asleep in a conversation or in the middle of an important event like the race in White Rabbit Fest). Because of this, rarely is his condition actually treated with the seriousness it would get if this were a real-world disability.
I think there’s a debate to be had about these kinds of impolite comments coming from Sebek though. Sebek is Silver’s childhood friend, so Sebek must be accustomed to the narcolepsy at this point and we’d normally expect him to be most sympathetic about it. But nope, Sebek actually frequently criticizes Silver for letting his sleepiness get the better of him. The majority of other students’ harsh comments towards Silver actually come from Sebek. He drops lines like:
“Don't you dare tell me you're falling asleep again, Silver!”
“His blatant snoring is infuriating.”
“Wake up, Silver! You're blocking Malleus's path! It's absolutely disrespectful!”
“If you don't cease at once, I'm leaving you on the side of the walkway!”
“It’s not as if you've been enchanted by a fairy. You’re just lazy!”
This all sounds horrible and mean, doesn't it? And they definitely are. But hold on! Sebek also says things like, "You're nodding off while walking AGAIN? A proper retainer of Malleus should hold his head high! High, you hear me?!” and, “Please, don't [volunteer yourself for this task]. You'll just end up nodding off. You must accept this is beyond your capabilities and let it go.” The former can be seen as telling Silver to do his best as Malleus's retainer and the latter is advising Silver to back down rather than push himself past his limits. That's not just me being optimistic or giving Sebek the benefit of the doubt just because he's a character I happen to like--Sebek has a known history of phrasing compliments and encouragement in a very rude manner. It's a trait of his that earns him endless ire, and something that Silver often finds himself apologizing to others for. Sebek is also a person who values constant self-improvement both in himself and in others; his cold attitude towards even his childhood friend can be interpreted as his own way of wanting Silver to do his best in spite of his condition. This… isn’t always a good thing though, as this thinking is ultimately ableist and runs the risk of pushing people—himself included—into dangerous situations that may out their wellbeing at risk.
This isn't to defend every single thing Sebek says about Silver's condition though; some of them are definitely too much, even if Sebek is granted as much leniency as possible. Do his comments come off as ableist? Absolutely. Is it his intention to be ableist? I don’t believe so—but that doesn’t negate the fact that his words are needlessly cruel, even if Silver doesn’t perceive it as such or take offense to it. Oftentimes Silver agrees with Sebek’s assessment, which again loops us back to how he already blames himself for his state and could parallel real world disabled peoples’ guilt and shame for just… being the way they are. Us, as the outside onlookers, are of course more likely to perceive Sebek’s words as rude because we’re projecting our own experiences onto what we’re seeing. Of course we don’t want to see a friend saying these awful things to another friend—but between Silver and Sebek, they seem to be mutually okay with this dynamic of pushing one another to “be better”.
I understand that it can be frustrating watching Silver have to say sorry for something that he can't control, but this is most likely a deliberate writing choice for his character arc—and depicting that flaw isn’t bad in a vacuum. Silver is someone who struggles with his self-worth, something we very much see come into fruition in book 7. He worries that he's not doing enough to "repay" his father back, and that it will be too late for him once Lilia departs from NRC. Silver frequently apologizing for his "shortcomings" (ie his constant drowsiness) is probably an extension of that lack of self-worth. He blames himself for his lack of alertness and actively tries to "be better" for a reason. It feeds into the ever-so-ironic cycle of "Silver is sleepy" -> "Silver thinks he must work hard to not inconvenience his loved ones and prove his worth to Lilia" -> "Lilia loves him anyway and he just doesn't realize it yet". (The whole reason Silver is even here right now is because of Lilia's love for him; he would still be sleeping were it not for Lilia.) Perhaps they'll be able to formally reunite in the waking world and wrap up this arc with a neat little bow... with his father telling Silver that yes, he is enough as he is now. Maybe Lilia will even say something along the lines of, "Never apologize for what--or who--you are, Silver. You're my son, after all! You should be proud of that."
This makes me wonder if Silver’s curse will ultimately be lifted in the end or if it will persist…? Because if it does get lifted, then it loses some of its strength as a parallel to irl conditions (since some don’t just poof away). Within the meta of the game, Silver then also loses some of his “appeal”, since sleepiness is a cute trait associated with him. I can see why it would happen from a narrative perspective though—ridding him of the sleepiness could be the ultimate “proof” of Lilia being able to truly love him, which is the condition the blessing requires to be dispelled
What really baffles me, however, is how some teachers are depicted interacting with Silver. The asshole students of NRC, okay. I'd believe they'd be callous towards one of the few nice guys at school dozing off. BUT THE TEACHERS????? 💀 Usually it's not that bad (they tell Silver to keep his eyes open or to wake up), but MAN. In Silver's Labwear vignettes, Crewel berates him for nodding off in class again, grants him a makeup assignment, and says, "If you like sleeping so much, [formulating a sleeping potion] should be right up your alley." He even withholds Silver's credit for Potionology until he receives that sleeping potion. Crewel also berates and punishes Silver in other instances, such as his Dorm Uniform vignettes: "Naughty pup. You think you can sleep through my lesson? [...] What a quick apology. Are you actually sorry? [...] You don't look remorseful to me. Hmph. As punishment, you must collect the reports everyone is turning in at the end of class. Do not miss a single one, and you are to bring them straight to me. Is that clear?" It feels a little… much, especially considering that it’s not like Silver chose to fall asleep midclass. Then again, Crewel probably doesn’t know about Silver’s condition either so he most likely attributes the behavior to laziness, as Silver does himself. I’d say that Crewel should still at least know a little better as an adult but 💀 many adults have no clue themselves, especially without a formal diagnosis.
Does NRC not have a, like... Disability and Accessibility Center to coordinate with teachers and give certain students assignment/exam extensions??? Therapy, healing potions, and medical mages + regular doctors and dentists exist in this world, so why wouldn't they also have disability support??? 😭 That seems like a HUGE oversight to me. (Get on that, Crowley/j) In all seriousness though, this may be the result of differences in culture?? It might be expected in western countries to have such disability accommodations, but from what I understand, there’s a loooot more stigma in Japan so these services may be lacking. Yes, NRC is based on a British boarding school, but ultimately the game is Japanese in origin and therefore might be running off of Japanese notions of what constitutes as “appropriate” support for the disabled. (The way seating in classes are arranged in-game already derive from Japanese schools; alphabetically by last name.) Maybe that’s why Crewel didn’t seem to be willing to make exceptions for Silver…? But even so, this could mirror how western societies also have trouble identifying and adjusting to those with disabilities. It can be hard to get treatment or even mindfulness from peers, especially if you don't have a formal diagnosis (which is the case for Silver; no medical mage knows what's up with him).
Those are my thoughts on the topic ^^ Again, I completely get why seeing the staff and students reacting this way to Silver’s condition makes you (and others, I’m sure) upset. There’s many uncomfortable parallels with how people irl are insensitive to “invisible” disabilities or disabilities in general. It also doesn’t help that Twst tries to both present the condition as a serious matter while also using it for comedy and marketing as Silver’s major “cute quirk”. Getting mixed signals here!!
I hope that this was at least able to grant you some new perspective about why the characters behave as they do. Some of it does seem to be the devs struggling to balance the tone of the stories they want to tell, but some of it also feels like intentional characterization (whether of individuals or of a certain dynamic between a duo) or setting up for an arc.
It would be interesting if we got an event where we explored more of the health industry and attitudes about like… magic-induced conditions, illnesses, etc. Silver is one obvious case of this, but we also know medical mages are A Thing. I’d love to learn more about these!
#disney twst#disney twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland#Sebek Zigvolt#Divus Crewel#Silver#Kalim Al-Asim#Ruggie Bucchi#Malleus Draconia#Diasomnia#Lilia Vanrouge#Ortho Shroud#Vil Schoenheit#Floyd Leech#Tweels#Jade Leech#white rabbit fest spoilers#book 7 spoilers#notes from the writing raven#Silver labwear vignette spoilers#Dire Crowley#tw // ableism#Silver dorm uniform vignette spoilers
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WHO TFK IS THIS GUY?
Daisuke x F!reader
Warning: language, eventual smut, jimmy and everything that comes with him (lol). y/n smokes weed!!
a/n: y/n is a therapist on the tulpar! (not my original idea, @/-Mairibby on wattpad) the fic series wont be mainly about y/n and daisuke, its more about everyone, but daisuke and y/n get together eventually, yk? things may or may not go on plot due to me not giving a fuck lol. remember that this is from y/n's point of view, so not everything she says or thinks will be correct. but this fic is mostly getting familiar with the dynamics between y/n and the others, enjoy! ALL OF MY CONTENT IS FOR ALL READERS. PERIOD. EVERYONE IS SAFE HERE!
PT 1.
You were afraid of heights and elevators…so what the fuck are you doing in space? You questioned, looking at yourself in the restroom, and looking down at your scratchy material uniform…pony express…yay. Only a year left, bigger yay.
You were the only girl aside from anya on the ship, which didn't bother you much. You were known for keeping things positive and whomever you had a conversation with, it would always end in a laugh. So you went on ship as a newly licensed therapist. After graduating college, you'd come across a flyer stuck on a light post with a cute pony on it. You said hm, then in a week, you started your new job.
You didn't know any of these people, really. Curly, the captain, Jimmy, sketchy dark guy..usually your type, but co-captain. Anya, the nurse, Swansea, the mechanic, and daisuke, the idiot intern. Things are going smoothly, the food wasn't your favorite but there wasn't anything salt and pepper can't fix (god, you wish you had cajun seasoning. You made a mental note to bring some next time) you managed to smuggle your weed pen and a zip, knowing in order to be the best therapist you can be you have to be the least stressed. You hid it under your pillow, they make comments about the smell and know someones carrying it between all of you, but can't find it. They point fingers at daisuke, but don't attack him since they cant confirm it.
If anyone needed to be attacked, it was Jimmy, the nasty cigs that laid between his lips as you all sat around the table playing card games or just simply talking, the smell was louder than Swansea playing a game of poker. You didn't know why you paid so much attention to him, his aura was alluring. You liked how dirty he looked, like he has no shame. But there was just something….off. Like he isn't fit to be co-captain, but he never gave you a reason or showed why he shouldn't be.
Conversations with curly were light, conversations with him were easy. He's a good man, takes responsibility. You make sure to let him know. Only lord knows what would happen if he started doubting himself, and no one wants to even take the risk.
You sigh and collect yourself, take a long hit of your weed pen and walk to the lounge. Picking up the clipboard to do evaluations. You and Anya switched off time and time. She discussed with you that she felt like she was here for no reason with nothing to do, she wanted to feel needed and like she was part of the crew. It didn't matter to you, though. Not like she gets part of your cut.
Looking around and seeing everyone, you'd wonder who would be your first victim. They all equally hated the evals, only being cooperative because Cap says so. You wince your eyes and see who's less busy. The side of your lips turn up and you look at swansea. You walk towards him, and it's almost as if you're his 6th sense, you can see how disinterested he is and it was really obvious when he rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. It made you laugh.
“When are you going to register in your head that I am too old to be going crazy on a ship, y/n. These aren't-” “necessary, i heard you the first time..and all the other times. But protocol is protocol, relax, okay?” you sat in front of him on the couch and he lifted his head to look at you. “Have you been able to complete your mandated tasks as a mechanic efficiently and to your fullest capacity?” your eyes lifted from the clipboard. “The ship hasn't broken down has-” “swansea” you cut him off and sharpen your eyes. “Do you need me to-” “yeah yeah- i got it. Yes i have” you chuckle at his response and drop your clipboard in your lap. “You know that you make this 10 times harder and longer? Or do you just like giving me a hard time?”
“Honestly both, I try to get as many minutes away from daisuke. He makes the vein in my forehead pop out” you laugh at that and point at him with your black pen, “now we're getting somewhere” you cross your legs and continue the eval until it's over. Swansea reminded you of a bitter grandpa but secretly wants to see you succeed. You see how he cares for daisuke, even when he cusses him out. He cares enough to cuss him out. It's something to admire from afar.
Daisuke and swansea were the best duo in here. Curly and jimmy were kinda boring considering it was the grumpy x sunshine trope. You just wondered how jimmy had so much…power. Though he was co-captain, whenever he had a conversation with anyone, it's almost as if they just let him do what he wants to without consequence, like he's a toddler. You see how Anya instantly lowers her head and just submits to him, but you haven't asked or said anything, not only because it's not your place, but also since Anya just doesn't really talk to you.
You took note of how you've caught her watching from afar. You didn't wanna label her as envious, she was just shy, while you laughed and fit right in. you didnt want to feel bad for anya, it's not what she deserves. You'd wish she'd just put herself out there more and know that she's safe with you, and you wanted a bond with her- absolutely, but there was some kind of tension that you just couldn't grasp on.
She also had a conversation with you about how she didn't feel comfortable doing evaluations with jimmy. She told you about the disturbing comments he makes, and asked if he told you them to. He did. But most of the time you're too high to even pay attention to what he's talking about and end up just labeling good on all of them. Anya ended up furrowing her eyebrows and just walking away, you watched as she did so, she covered her face and her posture lowered. She cried.
“Daisuke! Eval. Are you ready?” you smiled and walked into the sleeping quarters. “Ah!” he exclaimed, fixing his pillow before fluffing his hair and standing up with an awkward smile on his face. “Uh..yeah sure” he said. You smiled and lifted your eyebrows “i thought i was the only one hiding things on this ship” “you are” “ha, ha” you tilted your head, “we can sit on my bed and do it, if you wanna” he offers, you let out a hum and say okay before sitting on the bed, your knees touching but you didn't put too much mind into it.
You dropped the clipboard on the side of the bed and he furrowed his eyebrows and gave you a puzzled look. “Aren't you gonna ask me questions?” “I'm starting to feel like it's just not needed. Not saying your not important or anything, but you are an intern. What tasks do you really have?” you let out a laugh, but looking at daisuke, he didn't like your answer. It was actually very clear he took offense to it. You bit your lower lip and crossed your legs, no longer touching knees with him. You clear your throat and widen your eyes for a split second before raising the clipboard. “Have you been able to do your mandated tasks as intern?” an awkward wide smile on your lips. “And what mandated tasks do i have?” he said. Petty. You thought, you let out a breath, “im sorry, daisuke. I apologize, I didn't mean it like that. Please forgive me”
“Show me what you're hiding,” he said, out of the blue. You give him a puzzled look. “How is that an even trade? I made a comment. We get outta here in a year, you'll lose track of time and forget it in 3 days. What I'm hiding can get me in trouble for the rest of my life ""do i look like a snitch to you?” he crossed his arms, you laughed, “Fine”. To that he smiled, you stood and went to your spot, lifting the pillow and revealing the goods.
He bit his lip and looked at you before squinting his eyes. “So you really fucking hate me, huh?” you cock your head back at his comment, confused you look at him, silently signalling for him to elaborate. “First you say I'm useless here, and now I found out that you're the one carrying the weed on the tulpar and they've been saying slick stuff to me. Wow, y/n. You're an asshole” he laughs. “Shit..fuck, youre right. Im sorry” you felt like a complete bully and an idiot, you put your palm on your face to hide your embarrassment. He shook his head, “you at least gonna share? The least you could do” he let out a small laugh, in an instinct you pulled out your pen and gave it to him, avoiding eye contact. “How does this even work?” he asked, holding it up and scanning it.
“You're joking…rich kid, I imagine you have all the friends in the world and have parties, and possibly have done something worse than this” he glared at your sentence, but you scooted closer to him and held the hand that was sticking up the pen. It was pink and bedazzled, “see this button right here? Press it while you suck- or breathe in whatever from here” you said, before looking back at him. He nodded his head and bit his lip, you let go and allowed him to take a hit from the pen. He awkwardly pulls it up to his lips, you watched as he wrapped his lips around it, silently cursing to himself in regret, not because he was taking a hit, but because he wrapped his lips on it not around it. The wetness from his mouth from the lord knows where is now on your pen that you will continue to hit. Not that you minded, his lips were soft and pink, he carried around a coca-cola flavored chapstick and used it, mostly when he was nervous.
You cocked your head to the side and watched him take the hit. “Dont kill yourself” you laugh, pulling it slowly from his lips. He immediately coughs, and you groan to see the wasted hybrid smoke enter the air, you sigh and wave so it disappears. “You gotta work on that” you mutter as he dies, falling over onto your pallet and banging the floor, his mouth open as he coughs. You laugh and pat his back, trying to help him out. He collects himself, “what the hell is going on?” curly asks, stepping in, your eyes widen and you cover the stash with the pillow before turning back to the captain.
“Choking on his spit, ha, you know how daisuke is” you do an innocent smile and he squints his eyes looking at daisuke. He only raises a thumb and scratches the back of his head. “Swansea said he wants to show you how to fix the vent, and if you make him wait any longer he's gonna ignore you for a month straight” “that's my cue, see you y/n. And I forgive you” he smiles and stands, walking past curly.
Curly eyes you, “done jimmy yet?”. “Don't think I want to, maybe you should?” “Of course” you smile at his acceptance, and hand him the clipboard as he walks to you. “Thank you cap, you're the best” you say with a genuine smile, he only smiles back before walking away. Everyone was doing their only thing so you decided to lay off and keep your pen and your copy of “Interview With The Vampire” by Anne Rice from some company.
#daisuke#daisuke x reader#mouthwashing#pony express#swansea mouthwashing#fanfic#mouthwashing x reader#curly x reader#jimmy x reader#mouthwashing headcannons#mouthwashing x y/n#mouthwashing fandom#fem!reader#anya x reader#smut
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“some people just unlearn how to cry”
johnny learned to stop crying. from a young age, his dad would try to “toughen him up”, and told him the more he cried, the more he’d get hit.
johnny is six when he falls from the top of the playground. pain bloomed in his head as splotches of red soak the wooden mulch. any kid would’ve been crying. but not johnny. johnny just lays there, holding his breath as he wills the tears down. more tears means more blood. that’s howw it goes. as he’s walked down to the nurse’s office, he’s told how brave he is. but he doesn’t feel brave. he feels scared. the nurses patch him up, but would they have patched him up if he had cried? he didn’t think so.
johnny is ten when ponyboy is hospitalized with pneumonia. he wasn’t super close with pony just yet, but he was close enough that he was still terrified out of his mind. he can understand why the rest of the curtises are crying, but him? no. he couldn’t. he didn’t believe in crying. he wouldn’t. so he sucks the tears back in, swallows them down, locks it and throws the key away. he wouldn’t cry.
johnny is sixteen when he hears he may only have a few more days left. the doctors tried everything, but there was so much internal damage that not even the oxygen he was on could revive his tarnished body. but he doesn’t cry. he’s made it sixteen long years without crying, why would he break now? the nurses probably think of him as unfeeling or uncaring, which isn’t true at all…but he cannot cry. two bit already scared his mother off, he had no doubt his father would come in and berate him for being “selfish”. and if the tears started? he would probably be murdered in that room. so he doesn’t cry.
johnny is sixteen when he sees the face of ponyboy hovering over him. he says something, but he can’t make it out. he’s talking about the rumble…they won, something or other. he didn’t know. he couldn’t make it out. but he could see the light behind pony growing brighter…a sweet, golden light, waiting to take him home to stay-
“stay gold”
to which the fire that was in his soul was finally doused by the one salty tear that slid down his cheek.
#i’m in a bad mood so you guys have to suffer#the outsiders#johnny cade#this is poorly written sorry#tw abuse#well brief mentions but still
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Faced with the stranger before him Sephiroth had no idea how he was supposed to react or what Vincent expected from him. The only reason he'd agreed to the other man's request was to slate his own curiosity, but things were swiftly turning in a way he hadn't expected and that he didn't like in the slightest. With the way things were going he also felt deeply unsettled which was a feeling he wasn't accustomed to and coupled with the stabbing pain behind his eyes made him all the more agitated with the situation.
Surely this had to be some sort of trick. An attempt the ex-Turk made to try to distract him from his true goal, but why would he do so in such a manner and why use one of Jenova's discarded puppets? It was a thought that gave him pause before it was disrupted completely by a wash of blinding white light that filled the dim cavern.
With a hiss the madman narrowed his eyes, the light burning his already abnormally sensitive sight and adding a new layer of pain. Fortunately, the blinding light didn't last long and faded away to reveal Jenova's discarded puppet standing outside of her crystalline prison, a strange expression on her face that Sephiroth couldn't begin to understand much like the tears she freely shed.
“Is it really you… Sephiroth?”
He didn't like the way she said the word. It felt wrong and conjured old memories of how for the vast majority of his life he didn't have a name, at least not of the kind that any ordinary person could possibly comprehend as one. Shinra and Hojo in particular had no reason to care if he had a normal name or not and he'd only been granted one for the sake of convenience, since ordinary people wouldn't have been able to remember what he was called or address him properly if needed. It was only because of that he was called Sephiroth, but for all other purposes his true 'name' was #S13106 and he'd never forgotten that fact.
How dare this woman act as if she knew him? She was a stranger to him, one that caused an inextricable sense of dread to gnaw at the back of his maddened mind in a way he'd never felt before, one that went even beyond that feeling back in Nibelheim before his mortal life came to an end.
He didn't like it.
'Lies.' Jenova's voice filled his mind, dark and venomous in response to Lucrecia's words. 'A pitiful broken thing such as her believes she can maintain a shred of relevance and power in her attempts to control you. If what she claims were true then where was she this whole time?
'All it means is that she chose to abandon you to your fate, to discard you for the sake of her own safety. No true mother would willingly abandon her child to such a fate.'
The sting of those words wasn't lost on Sephiroth. It brought to mind the idealized concept he'd had of a mother as a child, as someone that would do anything to protect their child. Now he couldn't help but think he was horribly naive and that despite all her faults that at least Jenova had never truly abandoned him – more like it was Shinra and Hojo that had kept her from him. But if this woman claimed to be speaking the truth then she had to realize she was confessing to him that she had willingly left him to suffer a fate worse than death.
“I’m not worthy of your forgiveness, and I do not ask for anything. But if you would grant me one thing…”
Forgiveness? No, that was the last thing that Sephiroth was capable of given the circumstances, especially if any of these claims were true, which he seriously doubted. If anything, simply considering the possibility made him feel more angry and bitter.
“…May I hold you? Just once?”
A flicker of barren white tile walls and bright fluorescent lights suddenly filled Sephiroth's mind. Alongside it came the sensation of the bite of steel into his restrained limbs, locking him into place on the chill table beneath him as stared up into an expressionless masked face. A face he knew that was smiling a familiar twisted smile at him even as the razor-sharp scalpel sunk into his flesh and slowly dragged through it, opening gaping red mouths that filled the sterile air with a sickly metallic scent that was practically drowning him.
Then he could feel as they reached inside of his trembling body and started to slice and pull until he could feel pieces of him being removed. The very same pieces he witnessed being held aloft by scarlet painted gloves and placed on a waiting tray which was swiftly whisked away by other masked people, all of whom looked at him like one would look at an insect pinned to a cork board.
All the while he could only silently scream behind the leather strap in his mouth, his whole body writhing as tears streamed down the sides of his face. It was only when scalpel hung over his face, blade glinting in the blinding white light that he could feel anything other than pain, but that didn't last long as it dropped closer and his tears turned crimson.
The unbidden memory had Sephiroth step back, a hand lifting to clutch at his head as the pain behind his eyes reached a new crescendo. How fitting that the pain so perfectly mirrored that in his memory to the point he thought it to be one and the same. It was almost as if he was back there again, back in that place where he'd first come to learn the truth of the world.
'Foolish woman,' in that moment Jenova made herself known to Lucrecia, reaching out speaking into her thoughts through the cells that bound her to the creature since the first day she trod down the path of her magnum opus. 'You are too late. He is mine and you shall not have him.'
“It will be the same,” he shook his head, fingers digging into and threatening to tear into his own flesh. “Your touch, theirs, it is always the same.”
It had long been Vincent’s desire to see Lucrecia smile once again; it was a strong as Lucrecia's desire to hold her son. Nevertheless, Vincent wasn’t naïve to think that bringing Sephiroth to Lucrecia could grant him that lovely smile. There was too much tension, too much sorrow and regret, and of course the issue of Jenova’s presence. If there was one individual who could understand Lucrecia’s heart, it was Vincent. Even if his love was one-sided, it didn’t matter. Her single most wanted desire was to see her son, and he would carry it out, even if it terrified him.
The cool misty cave winds gently brushed across Sephiroth’s hair and face as if guided by the woman’s voice. Regardless of Sephiroth’s harsh tone, the voice responded just as gently as before. Sephiroth… The words were a bit clearer this time, and the Ex-SOLDIER could begin to hear emotion riddling the feminine voice. Undertones of sorrow, perplexity, and bridled happiness could be heard. “Lucrecia,” Vincent quietly called to her beyond the crystal. “Don’t be afraid. I’m right here.” He then briefly glanced over at Sephiroth with a wary eye. …This time… I won’t let you suffer. A bright light slowly began to form around the crystal, filling the cave like a flood of white. It caused Vincent to shield his eyes. The sound of soft shimmering crystals echoed in the cave as the woman’s figure began to once again take shape in front of them. Her body was encompassed with a hazy glow. Slowly but surely, the light faded away, revealing the woman standing near the base of the crystal, her silk white dress flowing free. Her hazel brown eyes were locked on Sephiroth; surfacing with all of the past years of regret in the form of tears. Silence fell between them for some time, until the woman seemed to find her voice again. “Is it really you… Sephiroth?” Tears streamed down both her cheeks. Sephiroth… her son. He was beautiful, powerful, and outwardly the pride of any mother. Her arms ached to hold him, but as a mother is want to do, she could sense the darkness resonating in him. She knew that she meant nothing to him, even if he was everything to her. She could sense the bitterness and hatred—all that Hojo had ever wanted for Sephiroth to become. Ultimately, he had won. Vincent remained silent, keenly watching them both in anticipation of anything, though challenged with the occasional reminder of the pain shooting down his abused lower body. Lucrecia finally shook her head, turning her gaze from Sephiroth to stare at the rocky ground. “How can I say I’m his true mother? Or any mother at all?” A pained furrow crossed Vincent’s brow as her words brought back every memory from that time. Lucrecia turned to look at Sephiroth once again, her heart aching every time she looked upon him. “Sephiroth,” her words tender and warm. “…It is true. I carried you in my womb. I gave birth to you. But I….” Her small hands clenched at her sides as more tears of horrible memories flooded into her mind. “Lucrecia—” Sensing where her words were headed, Vincent began to plead with her, but then held his peace, knowing he had to allow her to have closure. “If only I could have been a true mother to you. Someone to comfort and protect you, to shield you from pain…” Her voice softened into almost a whisper as she once again met Sephiroth’s eyes, seeing those eyes laden with cruelty and years of torment. “I’m not worthy of your forgiveness, and I do not ask for anything. But if you would grant me one thing…” Vincent looked up in confusion and held his breath as he listened. The woman in white took one small step forward, folding her hands over her chest pleadingly, her fingers trembling. What Lucrecia asked caused Vincent’s heart to stop. “…May I hold you? Just once?”
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Talking about: Darkstar!
So, the most recent chapter revealed some important info about Darkstar's backstory, info that I've been sitting on for a while and have many thoughts about. Now that the chapter's been out for a few days I want to discuss it a bit, my thought process on the matter and such! warning: it's long, so i put it under a cut
TW FOR: non-graphic discussions of (fictional) sexual assault and recovery from it
(and of course, spoilers for the new chapter)
PkS has a few "key scenes" that were the first things I came up with when conceptualizing the story, and imagining how I would present it. One of these was, of course, the battle with mapleshade, but a second one that's now escaped from containment is this last chapter, Petalpaw discovering that Darkstar's son, Perchshine, was born from sexual assault. I imagine some may have already picked up on it, from how Darkstar behaved, and her specific discomfort with Reedshine's kitting. I was nervous about including it, for sure. It's a very heavy topic, and I want to do it justice, and offer Darkstar the nuance and humanity she deserves as a victim.
So why include it? it's a bit of a roundabout tale... when doing my early drafts, I was amidst a listen of Yellowfang's Secret audiobook. Lizardstripe's story really stuck out to me. Warrior cats has, a few times, made it so a she-cat gets pregnant by surprise. Occasionally, the she-cat might be dismayed about it. but in time, they all come to love being a mother. Lizardstripe doesn't follow that. She's the one cat in warriors who has kits and doesn't want them. Now, since it's a kid's book series, i don't think children reading it would question her situation much, and i think the authors were likely betting on this being the case. But reading it as an adult... it really gives some unsettling implications.
Lizardstripe's situation isn't delved into very deeply. It's mostly set dressing for how Brokenstar became so evil. but it really stuck with me, as a reader. Warriors is a world with no birth control. The idea that a cat could be stuck with a pregnancy against their will was just... so horrifying to me. legitimately something I've had nightmares about! though I understand it's a children's book series so the topic of pregnancy and how one gets pregnant is very much glossed over, i still felt unsettled, and a bit disappointed with how Lizardstripe was portrayed. She was a woman who didn't want kids, so obviously she's physically abusive, evil, ambitious, reprehensible, one of the worst people in the series. But all i could think was... Why did no one help her? There's a scene where she seems like she's making a cry for help to Hollyflower, and is ignored, her fears glossed over, and she is told "suck it up, you'll learn to love being a mother". and how did she even get into that situation? was she, too, a victim of assault? I doubt that was the author's intention, nor do I consider that my headcanon/interpretation for her, but is still a way you could interpret her. which just sat with me, and really made me feel icky. Petalkit's shadow (and all my warriors headcanons, writings, etc) is a lot about changing things I find unsatisfactory or frustrating about the books. so, I wanted to try and create some kind of response to Lizardstripe, while also writing through my own emotions and fears, to create a story i found compelling.
Thus, my idea for Darkstar was created. I wanted to approach this concept I saw in Lizardstripe, but from a more sympathetic angle. What would happen, how would a cat in this society feel, if they were made to go through something so horrible? Darkstar has been put in an awful situation... she really has no good choices. Her belief is that any kit in RiverClan is entitled to the safety and community they have to offer - we saw that when she allowed Petalkit to stay. Making an exception for her son, even if she was forced to bear him, would go against her principles. And sending him away, where would he go? To another clan? where he may have to unknowingly fight against his mother? To a stranger outside the clans, where Darkstar has no idea if he'll be safe? and Perchshine himself, is in a horrible position, too. Obviously, he would have questions about why his mother can't look at him, why she ignores him, why she refuses to spend time with him. But what is Darkstar to say? what is any cat to say? you can't really explain it to a child. So Perchshine had to live a life feeling unwanted, seeking attention from anybody who would give it to him, leading him to be so negatively influenced by Appledusk. meanwhile, Darkstar feels eating, aching guilt over something that isn't her fault.
She has every right to not want to be Perchshine's mother. she didn't want him. she was assaulted. he shouldn't be her responsibility. But again, she really has no good choices. That summarizes her character, i think. she is never given an easy solution. every choice she makes will always hurt somebody. she usually picks the option that will hurt herself. but When Appledusk's affair is revealed, she sends Mapleshade away. she's just a few months off an extremely traumatic experience. she confesses herself, she almost felt jealousy, that starclan would take mapleshade's kits instead of hers, when Mapleshade loved her own so fiercely. and she could see the tension between maple, reed, and apple. she knew if maple stayed, there would be more problems. problems she simply didn't have the emotional bandwith for. she put perchkit first by having him stay in the clan, even though he would be a reminder of what happened to her. she didn't step down or run away from her leadership. she continued supporting her clan and putting the others first. so I think, in that moment, she decided for once to put herself first. she sent mapleshade away. and she paid for it dearly, when she loses reedshine, her first apprentice, and one of her closest friends.
Darkstar's story up until now has been very tragic. But I don't want that to be all there is to her. The first side of this concept, of course, is "wow, this is really fucked up and depressing". but I want there to be another side to it. Darkstar endured this terrible thing, and has a lot of hurt inside of her. But in the end, she's still alive. She can heal, and she can move on. no matter what her life is still worth living, and she has cats who care about her and want to help her. I think this duality always makes a really compelling character for me. It's motivating, for me, to imagine that no matter how much you have suffered, no matter how terrible things seem, you can always keep going. (It's a sentiment I've had to remind myself many times in my life - sure, maybe giving up is easier. but your life is worth living, even when it's difficult) Alongside the cautionary tale about anger destroying you, this would probably be the other thesis of Petalkit's Shadow. Keep going, you will make it out alive. and one day, it won't hurt so much anymore. so as the story has reached this tipping point, I'm excited to move forward, and start showing this other side of Darkstar, where her recovery continues, and she is able to re-embrace the things and the people she loves!
Anyways, I've just had a lot of thoughts in my head, and wanted to finally be able to share them since the chapter got published. Thanks so much for reading everyone, i really appreciate it! <3
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Naruto Uzumaki romantic Headcanons if you please~😊
I'll try! I haven't finished Naruto but I think I have a good grasp on his character. Enough to give him general HCs at least.
Yandere! Naruto Uzumaki Concept
(General Concept - Shippuden Era)
Pairing: Romantic
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Manipulation, Clingy behavior, Stalking, Delusional behavior, Fear of abandonment, Violence, Possessive behavior/Jealousy, May be canonically inaccurate, Kidnapping, Isolation, Biting, Forced relationship implied.
Naruto, like most protagonists or heroes, falls into the protective yandere category.
He has expressed a want to feel validation by his community.
He's also rather dedicated to saving people, even if they used to be foes or have become foes.
Hell, most of Shippuden he's trying to find ways to save Sasuke.
While Naruto is often loud and mischievous, he's very caring.
I imagine, towards a crush, Naruto is naive/childish.
He hasn't actually been in a relationship and spent most of his childhood hoping Sakura likes him.
So when he gets a new crush, he's still relatively new to the idea of actually being in a relationship.
Naruto is insecure about himself and his strength to protect at times.
That and he may also be nervous about his obsession not liking him.
Naruto's a sweetheart, don't get me wrong.
Although he tends to work extra hard to impress his obsession.
In his youth he was used to competing for attention.
Any attention was good attention, which is why he pulled all those pranks.
With his obsession, even when older, he still feels he has to compete to have your attention on him.
Which leads to some passive aggressive, if not hostile, moments with other people.
He's competitive in nature.
He was always like that when he was younger, especially with Sasuke.
Overall he's a competitive yet protective yandere that would do anything to be acknowledged by his crush.
Although, I'd also argue he can be possessive due to Kuruma.
A personal HC of mine is I think, due to him having the nine tails inside him, he expresses animalistic behavior when worked up.
I believe we actually see this in the show when he gets worked up, he ends up tapping into the fox's chakra.
So, imagine if he snaps, he does the same thing?
It could be anything from you getting hurt to someone taking you from him.
Maybe it involves the Akatsuki, or some other threat.
That or maybe it can happen on a smaller scale where his pupils change and he growls a bit when jealous?
Either way, times like those are terrifying because he can drop his restraint just enough to cause damage.
After he drives off someone he perceives as a threat, he no doubt has some blood on his clothes and skin.
Not only that but no one can pry you away from him once he latches on.
Naruto is dedicated to protecting since he's scared to lose you like he did with those closest to him.
There would be times when he defeated a foe or even multiple foes to protect you.
By the time someone found you two, Naruto would be tightly wrapped around you, growling at those who get too close.
It's hard to ignore those orange pupils of his, ones so much more animalistic and feral than his usual blue.
There's times when Naruto can be an animal when it comes to protecting you.
He's lost too many close to him and hates the idea of being alone.
It's natural he'd cling to you, right?
As I said before, Naruto would try to be sweet with you.
If someone else was hitting on you, he'd try to do it better.
Someone else giving you a gift? He can do it better!
Someone inviting you to hang out? Well, he's already made some plans!
Naruto may even be a bit delusional.
For example, if you invite him out to eat or train... He'd take it as a date.
He'd be so overjoyed, too.
You want to date him! Yes!
He's been waiting for so long.
Although, if you try to clarify later, he ends up giving you puppy eyes.
"What do you mean we aren't dating!?"
He'd be so distraught... he may even get you to attempt a date with him just to make him happy.
Naruto also seems like a very affectionate yandere.
He'd want to hug you and kiss you all the time, nuzzling into your neck whenever he sees you.
I can't help but think he bites, too... only when upset, though.
Would Naruto kill over you...?
... perhaps.
I think he'd only make any sort of attempt at that if they were a threat and were going to kill you.
Even then, he'll have to snap for that to happen.
He doesn't kill out of jealousy.
He more just ends up aggressive, growling at those too close like some sort of feral fox.
Would he kidnap?
If he's scared he'd lose you, I can see it.
He'd probably start by saying he's keeping you somewhere for your own safety...
But, surprise!
Now you're chained to a bed and he's already asking excitedly about dates or even marriage.
He's so delusional at times he doesn't realize you dislike the situation.
He's so busy cuddling you and "protecting" you that he doesn't realize you're scared.
That or he ignores it.
All Naruto wants is to be loved and protect the one he loves...
He'll do anything to have you all to himself...
If it means trapping you in a shared home to protect you... or if it means getting blood on his hands... he doesn't care as long as you're all his.
#yandere naruto#yandere naruto x reader#yandere naruto uzumaki#yandere naruto uzumaki x reader#yandere naruto shippuden
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Pick a Card: Your Love Life in 2025
Any card!
Pile one -> Pile two ↓ Pile Three
Pile One
I'm hearing that you're going to experience this fairytale kind of love. The one where Cinderella and Prince Charming find each other. They dance at the ball, yadda yadda yadda. You're going to experience it all, so I don't have to reaaalllly go into that much detail. It'll be great.
Except, since I also see that you'll love this person persistently, right? But there's also gonna be a minor issue. They're perfect, sure, but there's that one thing that gets you a bit like... hmmmm.
Aka, ~the ick~.
Now, pile one, you're going to have to get real for a moment. Is it an ick, or is it normal? Can you really chastise someone for existing as, like, a human being?
This year will bring you great love, but also great lessons. You may need to learn how to grow with other people. Meaning, you've done the work to get comfortable with yourself, but are you comfortable with other people? I don't see so. You're actually a bit more judgmental than you thought, to the point where you don't realize it. You may think of yourself as a person who is graceful to others, so maybe try seeing where this thought blocks you from actually giving grace.
Sometimes we get so caught up in our own lives that we forget to focus on growing with other people, too. The thing you're gonna have to remember is to get out of your own head. Touch grass. I don't see that you don't but maybe look at the grass for what it is instead of triumphantly exclaiming that you did the thing.
So, in tandem with what I just said, your love life will go just perfectly. I doubt that this lesson will fly over your head, so try not to ruin a good thing for yourself and it will all be good. You're going to get your happily ever after.
Want me to elaborate? Consider a paid reading!
Pile Two
Not going to lie, this pile is similar to pile three in the sense that you've gone through a bit. Life has a habit of throwing things at you, so you are used to bracing yourself. However, where others haven't done the work, you have. Where there was lack before, there is abundance now. You cultivated the wastelands and have conquered mountains. You've done so much and now all is left is... love?
You're pretty balanced as an individual. Nicely enough, this actually attracts people. That. Is. So. Crazy !!!! <- I'm getting that you'll be thinking back on this year and it's interactions like that. Literally, though, it's going to blow your mind how when push comes to shove... your efforts actually led to good results. You're going to see what it's like in action.
It's not like it's going to be too unbelievable. It's literally just a new normal. And, it takes getting used to.
When you do get used to it, dating itself is going to be really nice. You'll know how to get around and find someone. This is going to be less of a surprise to you; I'll explain why.
This lover is very bumbly (almost clumsy) and sweet, and meanly enough you may not consider them an option at first. It's not personal, you just didn't. But they are also kind of obvious too. It's just endearing, honestly. They're a bit silly, with all of this as I'm reading like awww they're so cute. You won't have to worry about the cruelty of the world with them. They're a human with emotions and complications do arise because of that, but you know how to navigate these things and so do they.
Not going to lie, some of you are afab wlw, and others are afab but straight. This person could be either gender, so basically take it as it resonates for the gender you're into.
*gif unrelated. Tahani is hot and a baddie.
Want me to elaborate? Consider a paid reading!
Pile Three
"I am trying to find myself. Sometimes that's not easy."- Marilyn Monroe
Admittedly, and I mean admittedly because you know this deep down, pile three, but admittedly you know that your love prospects haven’t been good. You are aware of why, too. There’s a truth that you’re running from, all because it’s a bit too painful to process. And it makes you choose the same hurt again and again. The devil often comes knocking at your door, and you haven’t comprehended that maybe you shouldn’t fall for the different clothes or his sweet words.
All of that is to say: gain more self-awareness. You’re falling for the same tricks in different clothes because you aren’t aware of what you need to do to not let this in. Boundaries are powerful only because they stop things that aren't meant for you in your life. Don't forget: you not liking things and acting accordingly is a boundary, too.
To speak from the heart for a moment: I kept wondering why certain types of people were "attracted" to me, like I was a magnet for bad. But, as it turns out, I've learned that other people tolerate bullshit so much less. Meaning, I was not attracting these people. They interact with others too; I was letting them in where others wouldn't. If you're suffering, and you notice that the people around you aren't, they're doing something you haven't been doing. Maybe you subconsciously tolerate less, or maybe you even consciously ignore the voice in your head telling you to get away.
You can only ever subconsciously tolerate less by consciously getting disgusted at tolerating more.
Actionable advice to change your future: if confronting the monster that needs to be confronted is too hard for you, chip away at its hard scales slowly but surely. Keep your distance at the times you need to, and confront it head on when you need to. It takes patience and you may get burned, but experience is the best teacher. Look to others who have been through the same thing as you and be completely open to trying what they have successfully used to combat their disorders, addictions, and trauma (always get medical professional help first though).
This is a you year. One day at a time, you will get better. And when the next new year rolls around, maybe you'll have learned enough to finally embrace a year of romantic prosperity and abundance. I see that this pile is actually lowkey full of baddies, pulling a quote by Marilyn Monroe isn't for weak personalities.
On a final note, don't get discouraged by this message. One year in a life is a drop in the ocean. You most likely won't remember the lonely times when you finally do reach the other side of the hardships. All that matters is that you get comfortable with *you*, and what's meant for you will soon follow.
Want me to elaborate? Consider a paid reading!
Thank you for reading!
#pac#pick a pile#pick a picture#tarot cards#tarotblr#tarotcommunity#tarot#tarot reading#tarot reader#pick a card#pick a photo#love reading#2025 reading#2025
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What about Leo mars?
𝖑𝖊𝖔 𝖒𝖆𝖗𝖘
This is definitely one of the most try hard mars placement
the type of try hard that makes it look good and not forced it’s just natural and it fits them so well
gets so much attention from just being active and being expressing themselves
they express themselves intensely
people can view them as dramatic because of their self expression
every leo mars i know is creative in some way, whether it’s through making edits, drawing or making music etc
they always need an outlet for their self expression so that’s why
some can be overly dominating like in a overwhelming way, and most of the time they aren’t even aware of it because they think it’s just being themselves
most of them can be very sexually open and very passionate about sex, and not be ashamed of their sexuality (depending on aspects)
mostly every leo mars i know have something with their hair, they care A LOT about their hair it’s a key part of their identity and appearance
they can feel easily disrespected and wouldn’t hesitate to let it be known
they don’t hide, if their mad you’ll know and they’ll make sure you feel wht they feel
most of time they can be VERY happy people always smiling and uplifting people
great motivators
can thrive when people are watching them
can feel frustrated when their efforts aren’t being appreciated
people doubting them and saying they can’t do something can trigger a leo mars and make them want to do it more because of their pride
can b very sensitive to criticism
easily bruised ego
can constantly want to prove themselves to others
challenging anyone and anything
need to learn to stop seeking validation and external things to motivate them(can learn from aquarius and detach from external things to motivate them, it can help them evolve and shine brighter)
also need to learn to not put others down because they feel overshadowed by someone
they can be the best at the things they like to do
(most of these can depend on aspects and the person so this may not apply to every leo mars)
𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔫𝔨 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔦𝔫𝔤
💓
#astro community#astro notes#astro observations#astrology#astrology observations#astroblr#astro placements#natal chart
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Is there something about Alexander you just know in your bones but can’t academically prove beyond doubt yet?
Things I Can’t Prove but Believe about Alexander
The first thing is that he and Hephaistion were lovers.
I realize that may surprise some of you as I’ve written on it both informally and formally, arguing they were. But the plain fact is…we just don’t have conclusive evidence. I do think we have plenty of evidence that Alexander was queer. But for whether he and Hephaistion were lovers, all the evidence is either circumstantial or late. It IS perfectly possible to make a cogent argument they weren’t.’
But, as the asker put it, I know in my bones they were.
That’s what fiction is for. Ha.
In fact, a lot of things I suspect but can’t prove I’ve thrown into the novels.
A couple other things:
Alexander was a neat-freak. He didn’t like mess or disorder. He was also a perfectionist.
He took criticism way too personally and internalized it. This is why only certain people were allowed to criticize him; it had to be someone he believed truly loved him.
He was not an alcoholic (in any modern sense), but as time went on, came to depend too much on alcohol to relax because he was an extremely high-strung person.
He was quite shrewd, but also highly emotional and visionary. These were sometimes at odds.
He loved his sisters and felt close to them, more than typical for men of his era.
He loved animals more than typical. (I think there’s good evidence for this, but I mean more than typical.)
He was left-handed. (Pure speculation, but it’s a sneaking suspicion.)
He could sing quite well, but nobody wanted to listen to him because his voice was rough. He’d have made a great blues singer. (Again, some evidence for this, but it’s largely anecdotal which is suspect by definition.) He was also a very good dancer, and loved to dance, related to…
He was an excellent fighter, physically extremely tough and strong. He didn’t really feel fear in the middle of combat. (While this is attested in the sources, I put it in the “can’t prove” column because it could also have been pure flattery by later sources.)
The “Sleep and sex remind me I’m mortal” line is a real quip. He was trying to be funny. People took him more seriously than he meant, and he was actually referencing sleep more than sex. (Along the lines of our, “I can sleep when I’m dead.”)
He really did believe he was favored by the gods and his birth was special/fated; it wasn’t purely political. This grew the more he beat incredible odds. He never believed he was divine beyond what a human could achieve.
#asks#things I suspect were true about Alexander the Great#Alexander the Great#Speculation time#ancient history#Classics#This is what historical fiction is for :-)
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Hi and may I ask if you Can you do One piece x Reader?
Reader as Luffy's twin "Brother (sister)" and a mermaid. Having the same personality and abilities,(and probably devil fruit, like they ate slices from the same fruit and both of them had rubber powers or not), and just like Luffy, despite being a mermaid, Reader's SUCKS at swimming
As a devil fruit user, Luffy twin's already atrocious swimming skills are now at zero. She can still breathe under water, but will sink like a stone, her strength sapped by the sea, and if she loses consciousness she’ll stop breathing too. Needless to say, she stays out of the water, and the villagers come to accept that sometimes, mermaids just live on land.
(also you can change these if you like)
Just like in canon, Luffy and Reader meet the Shank and they got kidnap by Bandits
Luffy and Reader meet Dandan and the bandits, Ace and Sabo and they still rescue Luffy and Reader, and they still exchange sake cups and become brothers. Yes, brothers.
Because at this point, neither Ace nor Sabo nor any of the bandits, nor anyone really on Dawn island save Makino and Garp actually know that Luffy twin’s a girl. Not even Luffy and Reader, herself.
Asl and reader made a promise to each other that they’ll all leave the island when they turn seventeen, setting out to sea to become pirates
This concerns Ace and Sabo, even Luffy, given how often people try to sell Luffy twin's how despite aquatic appearances she's vulnerable in water, but decide to wait and see.
Sabo 'dies', Ace, Luffy, and Reader continue to train, and things don’t change until Ace is seventeen, shortly before he sets out to sea.
Ace, Luffy, and the Bandits discover Reader's a girl. Reader doesnt know what a girl is, so does Luffy, he and Ace realizes they're troubled because Ace can't remember the number of times he and Luffy rescued her from potential traffickers and Ace doubts of letting Reader go out to the sea. But at the same time, it’s not like he can order her to stay here.
The night before he leaves, Ace tells Luffy that there’s been a change of plans. Like He made Luffy promise to always stay by Reader's side when they became 17 and became pirates In the same crew or Ace will return to them when they're 17 and joining they're crew.
I will try my best with what you’ve given me to go off of.
-They couldn’t have known, hell you didn’t even know! How could you have not known?!
-Ace was rubbing his face with his hands, trying to will away the stress that was building up, feeling like his head was going to explode clean off from the pressure.
-All these years, all these years spent together, and he had no idea that you were actually a girl! They had all thought you were a boy!
-Being Luffy’s twin caused some headaches, mainly for Garp as he had to deal with two of you knuckleheads, but even more so when you both found and ate a Devil Fruit, Luffy becoming a rubber man and you becoming a mermaid, having the ability to control water.
-However, despite being a mermaid and being able to control water, you still sank like a stone, so you couldn’t swim, which was rather amusing to see, seeing that you were a mermaid that couldn’t swim.
-While that did little to limit you, as either Luffy, Sabo, or Ace had carried you everywhere, you were still a pain in the butt like Luffy, always causing trouble, but you were loyal and kind to your big brothers, swearing to always be brothers with the three of them, drinking sake together all those years ago, despite the yucky taste.
-It wasn’t until you started to get older when your breasts started to come in that everyone, Ace, Sabo, Luffy, Garp, Dandan, the bandits, everyone- realized that you were a girl, and you had been all this time!
-The panic that reigned over the island felt like it lasted for days, while you were a bit confused as to why everyone was shouting so much.
-Makino and Dandan had to teach you that you were a girl, basically telling you what that meant. Luffy was clueless as well, but Ace was beside himself as he couldn’t recall how many times you had been kidnapped by traffickers who would have loved to get their hands on a mermaid, and being a female mermaid, if they had managed to get away, they would have made a fortune!
-It was the night before Ace was leaving, having been training hard alongside you and Luffy, but now that he was faced with this dilemma, now knowing you were a girl, he was hesitant on leaving, not wanting to risk your safety.
-It was Luffy who came to him, looking for his big brother, “Are you okay Ace?” the older boy inhaled deeply, patting the rock beside him as he was sitting outside, trying to cool his head, “Luffy I… I’m worried about Y/N- I’m worried that if I’m not here to help you keep her safe, she’s going to get taken away.”
-Luffy got mad, showing his angry side for once, “Nobody will take Y/N away from us! Not while I’m here!” Ace couldn’t help but smile at his brother, feeling relieved at his answer before he sighed before he stood, making Luffy look up at him.
-Ace rarely was this serious, but he put a hand on Luffy’s shoulder, “Luffy, swear to me- swear on your life, that you will keep Y/N safe, for the both of us. I’ll come back when you’re both older and take you both on my own crew.”
-Luffy was quiet for a moment, as he wasn’t used to seeing Ace being so serious, but he beamed up at him, “Of course I’ll keep Y/N safe! But we’re going out and making our own crew because I’m going to be King of the Pirates!”
-Ace couldn’t help but grin, ruffling his brother’s head gently, knowing that you would be in good hands in Luffy… he hoped, since Luffy and you were both idiots, but if anyone could do it- you two could.
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sorry, but I love the "set entirely within Lumiose city" announcement. That only increased the hype for me. I love a good, fleshed-out city to wander in. But mostly, to me, that indicates a change in the usual formula, which is really intriguing. Yeah, there's the question of where we'll get wild pokemon - which then raises the question of whether that even will be the same old mechanic we're used to. Or will something else be going on this game? Without a region to fill, how in-depth in the city can they get and what will we be doing?
#it's also like. mostly players can agree that pokemon needs to shake things up instead of repeating the same old formulas#so I'm a little surprised to see some of the backlash and disappointment to this little descriptor which to me indicates a fresh new change#I'm not trying to condescend it though - I get that it hints at a type of game that isn't everyone's cup of tea#and that's why some people may be doubtful#and it seems to be a mix of opinions overall#and of course we know basically nothing right now - we'll have more to go on later on#I'm just sharing where I'm at currently#it also did bring to mind kamurocho if I'm honest lol#pokemon fans: what do you mean set entirely in a big city??#yakuza fans: [clapping and cheering and high-fiving each other]
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gang i have to share this P. G. Wodehouse quote with you all because ever since I found it I can't stop thinking about it. it's from a letter he wrote when he was 78 years old to his friend Guy Bolton (many thanks to P. G. Wodehouse: A Life in Letters)
I have been on the sick list myself, but am better now. Inflamed bladder or chill on the bladder or something, the symptoms being agony when I passed water, as the expression is. It brought back the brave old days when I used to get clap.
he really said "yeah the pain from my bladder issue reminds of the days when I used to have so much sex I repeatedly got venereal disease"
#red randomness#p. g. wodehouse#he was so known for not having sex with his beloved wife#that i truly didn't expect this at all#i feel like i see a lot of people saying with a great deal of confidence that he was sex-repulsed ace#especially due to the wife thing#but while he certainly may have been ace on some level#i feel like at the very least this casts some doubt on the sex-repulsed part lmao#i suppose it's possible he was lying but wouldn't this be such a specific and unnecessary lie in this context?#especially for a private letter to a friend he'd known and worked with for decades#because he really didn't even need to bring it up#of course i am open to evidence to the contrary#i just dislike seeing overconfident opinions broadly prevail#even when aspects of a real person's life suggest the possibility of otherwise#the study of history is meant to breed discussion!#and something that goes against the grain of past assumption is certainly worth discussing imo#also very grateful to the unpublished monograph by George Simmers about Honeysuckle Cottage#because that's how i found out about this letter in the first place!#great monograph mr. simmers please publish it someday#opened my third eye about the potential latent homosexuality in that story (among other things)#and at risk of having someone get mad at me or say i'm trying to like. diminish or slander the ace community by saying this#please don't assume that. that's why i've been afraid to share this before.#i'm not confidently stating wodehouse is anything. he's a real man who lived and i didn't know him#but by the same token neither does anyone else#i'm just as tired of people in history who have a fair amount of suggestion of being aroace being broadly assumed gay#despite evidence to the contrary#or people confidently assigning queerness to historical figures when evidence of them being queer in any way is ambiguous at best#everything in history is a maybe. we just collect facts and analyze them.#and my current analysis based on this line is that i'm not sure i think he was very sex-repulsed after all#(but like. i'm not going around insulting or fighting people about it in dms or something. and neither should you)
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Me normally: Let people love what they love
Me, after a Test Match Special commentator expresses their belief that the new All Creatures Great and Small is somehow "better" than the 1978 version: This is pure insanity and TMS can no longer be trusted on anything, how can they even be trusted to know about cricket, do they have no TASTE
#Look it's fine that this show exists and people will watch it and like it and that's ok maybe it's just not for me#But that was like a statement purely designed to piss me off#There were lots of issues with the 1978 adaptation! I still vastly preferred the books any day!#And I actually initially had high hopes for the new one because they at least cast a Scot (albeit a Highlander not a Clydesider) as James#And the actors at least looked a little bit younger than Christopher Timothy and Robert Hardy#And thank god Helen actually sounds like she's a farmer's daughter and doesn't speak RP!#But from the half hour I've seen of it I've had to write off this new adaptation#For two major reasons#First of all there's Siegfried#Siegfried is one of the key central aspects of the vibe of the books and therefore key to any adaptation#Robert Hardy was too short and too old for the part but he lived and breathed the character#The twinkle in the eye bouncing off the walls and in and out of rooms followed by half a dozen dogs utterly full of life even when angry#But this new Siegfried is just sort of... Eeyore-esque; he comes into a room and you can see the flowers droop and the set turn grey#Siegfried was angry Siegfried was happy and the historical character he was based on was no stranger to melancholy#Since Donald Sinclair did commit suicide or rather self-euthanasia after Alf Wight and his own wife Audrey died#But this slow grumbly figure in the new adaptation is not Siegfried Farnon- the book character didn't grumble more often he exploded#And why did the adaptation give him a dead wife that's so weird? What could that possibly add to the source material?#And this brings me onto my second problem which is to do with women and age#Firstly I have no idea why they aged down Mrs Hall or at least made her look younger than a woman her age would have back then#But what really drove me mad was when Heriot goes out to see some old woman hill farmer in the episode I saw#And this woman is far too clean and young-looking and you can see that she's wearing 'natural' look make-up#And a perfect set of clothes that looked like they were straight out of the House of Bruar autumn collection catalogue#Say what you like about the 1978 adaptation but old women looked like old women regardless of whether or not they wore make-up#It may be that the better quality of television screens means that the 'natural look' shows up on screen more clearly than it would have#But natural look make-up was not really a thing in the 1930s and for old women Yorkshire hill farmers I doubt they'd have much on at all#They just don't seem to be capable of allowing people to look old and wrinkled and real or have bad teeth or unattractive clothes#And everything is far too tidy- everybody looks far too perfectly country and quaint#Anyway the moral of this story is of course that I always recommend reading the books because they're much better#than any tv adaptation; but if forced to choose at least the 1970s one felt real and yet didn't have to be grim either#Ok that's my rant over please do feel free to enjoy the show I just got annoyed because the opinion was expressed on TMS
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