#and that's not even counting all the other words/phrases they've used

[miladylocksley]

1x08 I want to destroy the thing you love and I wanna make you watch.

1x09 And what do you wanna say Alex?

That I loved you. And I think that you loved me. For a long time.

Yeah.

1x10 It’s the guy from the museum. The one that kissed you into crazy stupid love when we were kids.

1x12 I don’t love you! I don’t! We’ve been holding on to this thing. And it’s gotten us nowhere. Just let it go.

You’re a miserable liar.

1x13 Alex is in love with him.

1x13 I love him. I probably always will. But lately that love just hurts.

2x06 If you had told me I was gonna have a threesome with my best friend and my first love, I would say “which circle of hell am I in?”

That’s hell?

I don’t know. I felt—

Loved.

Yeah.

2x09 I know that you loved me.

2x10 When we were kids, you believed people were good. Despite humanity doing everything to prove you otherwise. And God, I loved you for it.

2x11 Then I fell in love with your son. And I didn’t feel superior anymore.

3x07 I picked you because I know you fell in love with an alien.

3x09 Love makes you do crazy things. And worst, your greatest fear has been actualized. Your father’s hatred is stronger than your capacity to love.

3x12 So you do love someone as much as you love Nora.

3x13 We can’t walk away from the tough conversations with the people who love us.

3x13 I need you to know, if this goes bad tomorrow, I love yo—

No, don’t say those words. We are going to win this, okay?

Winning is what worries me.

What? Can you explain that?

What if I have to kill my own father? You gonna love me then?

4x02 It’s not his dream.

Yeah, but it’s yours and he loves you.

4x04 I have a boyfriend. And I’m kind of completely in love with him.

4x08 And you wanna make me feel melodramatic when you knew, you knew that the man that I love—

4x08 I know you love Alex too. So that means we are always on the same side.

4x08 But I do know I’m the kind of man who helps save the love of his brother’s life.

4x09 Max jumped into a mindscape after the woman he loves. The least I can do is jump into a sinkhole to save my soulmate.

4x10 After all these years, after everything Alex and I have been through, our love is losing out to a hole in the ground.

4x10 I wanna help my friend find the man that he loves.

4x11 I am so in love with you it’s embarrassing.

I love you, too.

4x12 Does love confuse you, empower you or cloud your path forward? Because what I know of love is that it can do all those things.

4x12 Great love stories can withstand time, distance or hardships. Yours, Malex, has seen it all.

4x12 Long hot shower with the man you love.

4x12 I mean this with all the love in the world. Stop whining.

4x13 Louise managed to find great love. There is no doubt in my mind that Nora would want you to do just the same.

4x13 I’ve done a lot of things over the years that have inadvertently embarrassed the man that I love. But now we’re married, so I’m going to intentionally embarrass you.

[derangedsynthpop]

because barbie

written for @bucktommywinterfest Halloween warm up round

prompt: couples costumes

rated: T

tags: halloween costumes, horny buck, smitten tommy, banter

word count: 824

[read below or on AO3]

Summary:

Buck and Tommy try to figure out what to wear to a 118 Halloween party.

***

"I am not wearing that."

"What? Aw, c'mon, Tommy. Please?" Buck tilts his chin down to look at Tommy through his lashes with a pout.

"Absolutely not. And put those sad puppy eyes away, Evan, they won't change my mind."

"Okay, fine," Buck huffs. Taking one more look at the picture on his phone, he frowns, silently mourning what could have been, and shuts the screen off. "Then what would you suggest?"

They're sitting cross-legged on his bed, facing each other, and trying to decide what to wear to the Halloween party Bobby and Athena are throwing at their new house. Buck feels like they've been going back and forth over it for hours, when in actuality, it's only been about ten minutes.

"Okay," Tommy grins wickedly, doing that little excited wiggle he does that Buck adores. "You already know I have the whole get-up to do Han Solo..."

Buck raises an eyebrow at that, instantly intrigued. "And who would I be?"

"Well, I think you would look really hot in a slave Leia costume."

The images that Buck's mind conjures has blood rushing to his face and his heartrate skyrocketing. "I, um-- Uh, wow," he says a bit breathlessly. "I... wow."

Tommy laughs, cupping Buck's face in his hands. He gives Buck a quick peck on the lips. "Did I break your brain?"

"Mhm."

"You know I wouldn't actually ask you to wear that in front of your friends and family, right? Unless you really wanted to."

Buck breaks out of his daze to say, "Hey, they're your friends and family, too, Tommy."

Tommy gives him another quick kiss. "I know. I just also knew phrasing it like that would get your brain back to the present."

Buck rolls his eyes affectionately. "Okay. So, I'm definitely not wearing a slave Leia costume. Outside of sexy time, that is. And, I don't know... Princess Leia, or even General Leia, just isn't sparking anything."

"Bee and bee keeper?"

"Too soon."

"Milk and cookies?"

"Too cliche."

"Shaggy and Scooby?"

"Too many invasive questions about our sex life."

"Ghostbusters?"

"Ehhh..."

Tommy sighs. "Evan, we have to pick something in the next few days or we'll be the only ones without costumes."

"Ughhhh," Buck groans, dropping his head back. "Why is this so haaarrd?" His head shoots back up. "Oh! Hard! Maybe sex will help me think."

Buck reaches for Tommy's pants, but Tommy grabs his wrist. "No. No sex until we figure something out."

"Oh, you are evil."

Tommy grins big, his eyes crinkling and nose scrunching up all adorable, taking Buck's hand and bringing it to his lips. Buck is helpless against that smile, blushing as he returns a small smile of his own. "Angel and devil?" Tommy asks, and kisses Buck's knuckles.

"May...be...? It's a solid contender, at the very least."

"Alright!" Tommy claps his hands together. "Finally, we're getting somewhere."

"Ooh, one of us could be the Rubber Man from American Horror Story." Buck waggles his eyebrows, biting his lip as he looks Tommy up and down.

Tommy gives him a look. "What was that about too many question about our sex life?"

"Relax, Babe, I was kidding." Buck pats Tommy's leg. Then he grins, and adds, "Mostly."

"Brat."

Buck sticks his tongue out, like the mature adult he is. Tommy flicks the tip of his nose, then kisses it to soothe the slight sting.

"Okay, well what about pirates? Cowboys?" Tommy asks.

"Hmm, I was a cowboy for the Haunt Fest. I don't want to just repeat that. But you in assless chaps? Yes, please."

"Evan."

"What?"

"You're picturing me in assless chaps, a cowboy hat, and nothing else, aren't you?"

"Absolutely," Buck says like it would be ridiculous to think otherwise.

Tommy shakes his head, a fond look on his face.

"Cop and robber?" Buck suggests. "I'll let you cuff me."

Tommy quirks a brow. "Like you don't already?"

Buck snickers. "Okay, okay. For real this time. Um, what about... Oh! Barbie and Ken. In their cowgirl and cowboy oufits."

"I thought you didn't want to be a cowboy again? What makes this any different?"

"Because Barbie."

"Alright," Tommy raises his hands in surrender. "But why not Ken and Ken?"

"Why would be both be Ken?"

"Because... we're both men?"

"Tommy," Buck looks at him like he's grown a second head. "It's Barbie and Ken, not Ken and-- Wow. Nope. No. That came out all wrong. I sound like a homophobe."

Tommy laughs. "We could be Alan and Ken."

"So you don't want to see me in a sparkly hot pink cowgirl outfit?"

"I--" Tommy starts, stopping abruptly, his cheeks heating. "I don't not want to see you in a sparkly hot pink cowgirl outfit."

"So... Barbie and Ken?" Buck gives a sly smile.

Tommy nods in agreement. "Barbie and Ken it is."

"And... sex now?"

Tommy bursts out laughing, grabbing Buck's face to kiss him. "Yes, baby, sex now."

"Yeehaw!"

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Some observations

I was perusing the local Barnes and Noble (as one does when she needs to kill time) and discovered this magazine in the periodicals section:

I thought it was interesting that Meghan wasn't included on the cover. Say what you want about her, she still holds a pretty significant place in the royal family: the first person of color to marry a senior royal and give birth to children of color. One would also argue that she also counts as a noteworthy person for the BRF because she was the "first" divorcee bride to marry in (that is, the first divorcee marrying a single not-married-before royal).

The table of contents:

The first mention of Meghan is in their timeline, within context of Kate and Charlotte appearing together:

Meghan's second appearance comes in the "Modern History" section, which talks about royal marriages becoming "modern" when divorces were first permitted. First the article talks about Margaret's groundbreaking divorce, then how Anne pushed the royal bar on divorce further by remarrying, leading to the following section:

But reference of Meghan is essentially a throwaway. She's not even a whole sentence. But she does get two pictures in this section, so progress!

So after the "Modern History" section, we start getting mini-biographies of the royal ladies. There are "chapters" each for Kate, The late Queen, Camilla, their fashion, Anne, and Diana. Then we get to "The Other Royals"...a catch-all for royal women who aren't important, I guess, or noteworthy of their own standalone chapters.

In this chapter are the Yorkies - they don't even get their own sections, they're just all lumped in together, Sarah Chatto (Margaret's daughter), and finally, Meghan, who is also featured with Lili.

What I find really interesting about this publication is how and where they've placed Meghan. And I think it shows how shortsighted she was about joining the royal family. If her ultimate goal was global fame and fortune, then all she had to do was bide her time. After all, Sophie gets her own chapter - but of course, Sophie worked 31 years to get it (6 years dating + 25 years married) - and so does Zara, for her career accomplishments in sport, which Meghan could've had as well. But Meghan wanted everything and she wanted it now, no waiting, no toiling, no practicing, no working. And the result is that she's lumped in with the Yorkies and Sarah Chatto.

But the placement is also unfair to the Yorkies and to Sarah. Because remember, Meghan quit. Yes, technically Sarah Ferguson quit too (when she divorced Andrew), but her quitting came after 10 years and despite it, she still turns up to support the BRF when called. Same with Beatrice, Eugenie, and Sarah Chatto; they support the BRF and they work for the BRF when they're called to do so. To lump them in with Meghan, who doesn't work for the BRF when called, who doesn't show up when they ask for her, and who doesn't support the BRF, it doesn't bring Meghan "up to their level," or however you want to phrase it. It brings them down to Meghan's level. They don't deserve that.

But probably most importantly, this placement of Meghan proves that despite what her PR tries to convince us, more and more people are seeing her as the Fergie/Yorkie equivalent, not the Diana equivalent she wants us to see her as.

Personally, I think the sooner Meghan abandons her vision of Diana-like permanent A+ elite success and embraces the Fergie/Yorkie vibe (especially the "laugh at your own self" and "be gracious, be humble, be thankful" parts), the greater her chances are for stability and long-lasting staying power on the C-List.

(Also. I've never liked the sapphire tiara on The Queen but I love it on Camilla. Camilla's big fluffy hairstyle 100% suits the tiara and it looks like the tiara was made for her. The Queen wore her hair too...tightly (for lack of a better word) and that hairstyle with such a sculptural tiara made a strange look for me.)

[kandadze]

Ep 27 loose thoughts

Well, that's one way of snapping someone shell-shocked out of making a drastic decision. I feel like PSJ snapped something in herself at this moment, too. Anyone else found the ancestor's commentary going on in the background while the girls are bawling their eyes out hilarious? Just me? Okay.

While I was waiting for the ever burning wood to activate or something, the moment WX opened the box to reveal dried flowers I choked. ZYC!!!

Baby!Yichen breaks my heart, so impressionable, so open to learn. It's interesting to see that the phrases about suffering we've seen him use as an adult might have come from WX... Not a fan of telling people in mourning to stop dwelling in misery and sadness like it's as simple as flipping a switch (not to mention, she apparently *just* met him for the first time? The heck?), but at least the rest of her words seem to have helped him... so much that he kept the flowers 😭 The irony of her snow metaphor contrasted with their current predicament is indeed exquisite, A+ for that.

Are they going to be saved by the power of lurrrrve??? (At least this time. Still holding out for how that's gonna play out in the finale.) I mean, what other way to sway an ancient creature who's seen pretty much everything there is to see, than to show them something new? What's that? A test for a future event? (I'm getting really paranoid about nothing we've seen so far being real. It's like Alice in Wonderland on a bigger scale. Or Finnegans Wake on a smaller scale. I don't know.)

Oooh Bingyi and Ying Long, our original doomed couple (of self-sacrificial idiots)! I would watch a whole drama just about them. And damn, I can definitely see where Zhao Yuanzhou got his masochism from. Stoppppp not "Just let me be the first star"! (Especially since I just remembered ZYZ's "I'll be the rain...") It's not supposed to be literal! 😭😭😭 Ahhhh this scene just broke me, also because it seems to reinforce the idea that ZYZ *has* to be killed for the greater good. The visualssss in the execution- sacrifice? What the heck do I even call it?- scene though, soooo good!

"Let me do it myself." LET ME DO IT MYSELF??? FUCKKKKKKK DAMNIT HE JUST- ::head in hands, crying forever::

"Remember. This is my choice, not yours. You don't have to bear any blame or guilt." That's not how that works. That's not how any of that works!

Again, we're dealing with choices. But the fact that ZYZ choice was the same as Ying Long's... the fact that YL says that neither he nor Bingyi had any regrets... oh this is going to hurt.

Oh? ZYZ's future is not what he wants? (And wouldn't that be funny, considering ZYZ's own words while schooling ZYC in the very first ep... 9 times out of 10, things don't go our way?)

"You two are really like us." 😭😭😭

I was wondering if they were going to show us what ZYC saw, and not only does the image of ZYZ's body on that dark floor mirror Ying Long's body floating in the water, both ZYZ and ZYC wear the same clothes as in the very few scenes from the trailer that didn't happen yet... These poor sods, they've been Going Through It for almost a decade now with the only end in sight being yet another tragedy (even if the drama seems to suggest that they don't see it that way at this point.) ::head in hands, crying continues::

"My friend is here. We'll go together." The *sound* I made. Everything else this drama has given me aside, the growth of these characters and their bonds is so well done, and absolutely precious to me.

I want Ying Long's hopes and wishes for them to become true. Seeing how there's hints everywhere in this drama, I hope the words of one of the most powerful beings in existence will count for *something* in the end! (Am I grasping at straws? Maybe. Let me be delusional for a bit longer.)

What do you mean, five, ZYC? What's Ying Lei, chopped liver?

Oof this *almost* hug before WX starts feebly hitting ZYZ. It's relief, it's anger, it's fear for the next time, it's all the feelings that became too big to contain. I feel her so much. (I would've started whacking both him and ZYC way earlier tbh 😅) And ZYZ allowing her that release before pulling her in for reassurance, patting her as if she was a scared child. 😭 Cut to PSJ, looking as if she wanted nothing more but to be the one offering the reassurance to WX. Cut to ZYC, remembering that willingly or not, he's going to hurt WX beyond reassurance. Once again, the bonds in this drama!

Wait hold up hold on what? You just removed Bingyi's blood from him, that should mean that ZYC will not have to become a demon, right? So what's that about developing the inner core? (Also, I just realized that so far all they got from this trip was "go east and ask for a dragon scale" lol) Thankfully him and ZYZ had their conversation(s) about titles and identities so being asked to make that particular choice was not completely out of left field at this point. And all he cares about is whether that means that the last trace of Ying Long will disappear! 😭 (I'm so with Bingyi on this one... I would hold onto that last shred of my friend's existence, too, *especially* if they offed themself via my goddamn sword.)

What's with that look after he says that he thinks he has it - the inner core - is there a joke here somewhere? (I *gotta* go back to learning the language, the things I'm undoubtedly missing on!) The only thing I can think of is - did they think he said he's pregnant??? ::dies:: "So what's your true form?" "Must be dragon." "I say you're a mule." "Better than being a monkey." "I'm a white ape!" ::dies again:: Nice to see we still get a friendly ribbing between all of them, and I can breathe after all the angst. Fingers crossed? There's still 5 minutes left...

Oh good, let's talk about getting Bai Jiu back! (I knew there was one more character from the opening credits that didn't show up yet... guess it's the rebel princess.) While Ao Yin is eavesdropping! Talk about good hearing. Sigh, here it comes, another goal they have that will conflict with Li Lun's; they want the scale to restore the sword, and LL not only doesn't want that to happen, the scale could potentially help him get rid of the poison.

Oh for fuck's sake, I think I was subconsciously waiting for Chongwu Camp to show up, knowing that they've eavesdropped on the gang earlier, and here they are. ZYZ should really think of putting up some sound barrier when they discuss important plans, everyone seems to know exactly what they'll be doing at any given moment!

Ahhhh we're getting a nod to that little cough and stumble WX had shortly before this trip. Something's wrong with Baize token? Or with her connection to it? We only have 7 episodes left, drama!

(ZYC is such a good little brother.) Oh great, it was the rebel princess who killed WX's dad? I repeat, we only have 7 episodes left!

Sigh... with only 7 episodes left, we *also* find out that the goddamn 3-face-mask has history with the princess? And has everyone and their mother sat on that little bridge???

This feels like the endless final scenes in Peter Jackson's "Return of the King," my head is spinning.

Note to self, *stop* looking at previews. Ying Lei, what the absolute fuck?

[ericmicael]

Summing up the whole case of censorship that Ichinose (Suletta's voice actress) suffered by "Gundam Ace" and by the official profile of "Gundam Witch From Mercury".

It is quite common to have dialogues between the voice actors of the anime, the main ones being: Lynn who plays Miorine, and Ichinose who plays Suletta. And it's not uncommon for shipper moments to happen with them, they've always been very supportive of the SuleMio couple, especially Lynn.

Since the anime ended, it is common to find Lynn and Ichinose talking about the SuleMio marriage, and in one of the interviews they even mentioned a term that is an allegory for babies, insinuating that the couple may have plans for the future.

"Gundam Ace" is a magazine dedicated to the franchise, and as "Gundam Witch From Mercury" is the most recent anime, it is obvious that several of the issues focus on this anime. And in the most recent edition that even has a print of SuleMio embracing wearing wedding rings on the cover, they included one of those lines from Ichinose: in her speech she comments on Suletta and Miorine's wedding. But in the digital edition they deleted the word marriage.

All this obviously generated a lot of complaints from the anime fandom, especially from the LGBT part of the fandom.

Today we had the official apology from "Gundam Ace" itself and from the official profile of "Gundam Witch From Mercury", but different from what I thought at first (I have no knowledge of Japanese), they didn't apologize for the censorship and said that the newly released digital edition was wrong, and yes it was literally the opposite of that.

The official profiles apologized for the inclusion of the interview claiming that the ending of SuleMio: whether they got married or not is something interpretive, and that it would not be correct to include a speculative phrase treating it as 100% confirmed.

Since the first episode, it has been said that same-sex marriage is common, which even surprises Suletta.

On many occasions, Suletta and Miorine express a desire to marry each other, and on one occasion Suletta explicitly says that she wants to marry Miorine in matching dresses and buy wedding rings together.

And in the final episode Miorine is called sister-in-law by Eri who is Suletta's "sister", and the two women are shown having matching rings and treating each other like family.

But now all this is now interpretive? That if a woman marries another woman, wearing matching rings and being called sister-in-law by the sister of that woman she married isn't enough if they don't see her kissing her wife or having sex with her? Rings aren't enough, words aren't enough and everything is nothing more than an interpretation of the vision of the voice actresses or the public when the couple is not formed by a man and a woman?

A few weeks ago a shoujo author complained about the relationship between Suletta and Miorine, in her view there were not enough actions or words to confirm that there were romantic feelings between the two women, and that in fact there were only romantic feelings between the boys with them. At one point Guel declares his feelings for the second time for Suletta, and she rejects him without hesitation for the second time. Guel uses the term "precious person" to confess to Suletta, and she has this reaction:

But for this shoujo author it doesn't matter that literally a woman admitted to having feelings for another woman using the same term that a boy used to admit to having feelings for her, that doesn't count, that's not normal, that's not romantic, it's just interpretive when It's a woman talking about another woman.

[clonerightsagenda]

How's Uglies holding up to modern rereading for you? I loved it as a kid, but nowadays I see it as an early entry in the YA dystopia boom that other books took formula notes from and refined down the line, making it feel a fair bit clumsier by comparison. Very fond memories, though, and I appreciate seeing the toxic yuri on my dash now that I'm old enough to appreciate it, lol.

It's holding up pretty well for me! I'll be honest - while I read The Hunger Games and Unwind, I never read Divergent or The Maze Runner, so I'm not entirely versed in the YA dystopia boom. I'm aware of the cultural construction of it though - world's specialest teen girl is the only one who can topple the government and lead a revolution. I'm not even sure how many of the actual series align with that stereotype (imo The Hunger Games is deliberately interrogating it) but anyway, some thoughts re: Uglies' position vis a vis dystopia stereotypes and just in general:

The love triangle is annoying, no arguments there, but it also ends more messily than I think the stereotype typically conveys. She 'chooses' one of them and then he dies as a direct result of her behavior, and she's not with-with the other at the end of the main series (and in the sequel series they've gone their separate ways).

Also, Tally is frequently a pretty unlikable person, which is a bold choice! She is not motivated by any pure intentions at the beginning - she's betraying a friend for her own gain - and throughout the series we see her wrecking that friendship over and over because, as Shay accuses her, she thinks she's the center of the universe. Shay hits every big milestone before Tally - Smoky, Pretty, Special - and it almost feels like prodding the limits of a close third POV, reminding us that there's isn't one single world's specialist teen girl. In the stereotypical version, Shay would be the scrappy rebel hero. Tally always needs pushes, and she's always screwing it up.

While it's obviously written for younger readers, the writing is effective. Like I said, Scott challenges himself to write the same POV three times with different levels of brain damage and pulls it off. He integrates made up slang in a way that doesn't feel too distracting (I really enjoy the way the princess sections in Pretties are written). In classic Scott fashion he brings back key ideas and phrases to hit you hard when it counts (informed consent, a special circumstance), and of course the whole final word of each book forming a circle is a fun little bonus. I'm glad this was written before the modern codifying of YA when it would be in first person.

The moral is obvious yeah but it's MG/YA and also props to Scott for predicting influencers in Extras. You also get the protagonist semi-aligning themselves with the antagonists' ideology at the end which is interesting, even if it again fits into a Western environmentalist assumption that humans can't live in peace with nature.

And finally, despite not being sporty at all, I still want a hoverboard.

[xerith-42]

Glenda

Remember Glenda? No you don't, only I do because The Tragedy of Cadenza Zvahl haunts me in my every waking moment.

Here's an entire essay about a character who shows up in a grand total of... I think 5 episodes? And yet she has one of the greatest and most forgotten impacts on the narrative.

For those of you who need a quick refresher, Glenda is Hayden's head guard in Meteli, first introduced in episode 26 of the first season, along with all the other Meteli characters. She's initially shown as a pretty strict, no nonsense guard. But in episode 27 we get to see her open up. At the time Cadenza is missing, and Glenda expresses great worry for her safety and says the following line

(sorry for how dark this is I took the screenie on my phone at like midnight)

So uhm. That's a bit of a big deal right off the bat, right? Cadenza is an orphan. Just before this Hayden speaks about how he found Cadenza picking flowers next to a burning village, about how she lost everyone and he took her in. And while Hayden acted as her father, Glenda acted as her mother. Cadenza had a mother.

This is where things get a bit... Mirky. I think a lot of us forget this, but Cadenza and Laurance being siblings isn't something that's revealed until [checks my notes] Episode 54. Which might not seem like a big deal, but Laurance has multiple conversations between episodes 26-40 (he dies in ep 40) about Cadenza, about growing up in Meteli, conversations where he could have said something, anything to indicate that Cadenza is his sister. But he doesn't.

He doesn't refer to Hayden as "our dad", he never refers to Glenda as Mom (which I'll get into later), he doesn't even say the phrase "Cadenza is like a sister to me" until AFTER they've both undergone their transformations. Me personally if I was the head guard of the swamp village, my sister goes missing, and my dad and her not boyfriend start fighting about it, and then some random woman shows up to help, I'd mention to the woman that this missing girl is my sister and this is a family affair. But Laurance... Doesn't.

This makes me think that them being siblings is an idea that came to the writers at some point after Laurance was introduced, but before he came back from the Nether. But this idea was either never incorporated, or they decided to put off incorporating it until after Laurance made his redesigned return.

Who knows. All I know is that Laurance and Cadenza were not intended to be siblings at first, and later retconned into that. And that's fine! They're not related, they're both adopted orphans, it's totally fine to make this retroactive change. But this change is important to remember regarding Glenda.

Yeah that's still who this post is about but there's so little to say that I padded it out with my whole tangent about the Zvahl family retcon. Anyways, Glenda, like everyone in Cadenza's family, is incredibly protective of her daughter, and clearly worried for her safety. This worry doesn't extend to... Doing anything, but that's because Aphmau had to show up and main character her way through things.

But it does lead to criticizing Aphmau when she seemingly fails as a main character. Aphmau does know where Cadenza is and knows that she's safe, but she lies to Hayden and Kenmur about it so they don't hurt Castor, and Glenda is PISSED. Not only because Aphmau promised she'd find Cadenza and failed, but she took one of their swords the last time she was in Meteli too! The disrespect of this woman! And she's the Lord of Phoenix Drop?! How low has this world gotten...?

Anyways the next time we see Glenda she's debating if she'll sign her life away. Now... I could go on about The Oath for... [glances at Oathbreakers word count] a while. But I'll try to keep it brief and focused on Glenda, who it actually has the most direct impact on. In episode 42 Garroth makes all the guards signing an oath swearing that they will take their own lives before they become a Shadow Knight and kill their lord, or to prevent themselves from doing so as a result of Shadow influences.

And while everyone else at the guard meeting is largely down with this, Glenda isn't. She's hesitant. Unsure. We don't get an explanation as to why in the episode, at least not the true one. But there are two things we can get from her. One, her eye color has changed. Which Aphmau doesn't notice at all or even comment on.

Two, she jumps immediately to leaving Hayden's guard, but stops herself because Cadenza is missing. And that's all that she says on it. Because after that, Glenda quits her job. She abandons the guard and we don't even hear about that happening until EPISODE 86. WE GO A FULL 44 EPISODES WITHOUT HER HAVING ANY RELEVANCE TO THE PLOT OR MENTION BY ANY CHARACTERS WHO KNEW HER LIKE I DUNNO

HER DAUGHTER???

And when she comes back in episode 86 we get the big reveal that Glenda was actually a Shadow Knight! And she framed Castor for murder all so she could draw Cadenza out, get her alone, kidnap her, and then sacrifice her to open a Nether portal and presumably return home.

There's a lot of questions this whole series of events raises, but not a single one of them are answered. I'm not even being hyperbolic, once Cadenza wakes up she is (understandably) more focused on the fact that her dad is alive and getting him back to safety. But she doesn't say anything about Glenda, doesn't give any sign of grieving or insight on the matter to Aphmau, she doesn't seem to care because her dad is safe.

The only details we're given are from Laurance, but these also raise questions. He says that Glenda must have become a Shadow Knight "at some point", and quit Hayden's guard because she planned to kill him to gain immortality. But... If that was the case, why fake his death? Why not have him actually be fully murdered with all the other evidence still stacked against Castor? Why not kill him, get immortality, and then kidnap your daughter and try to sacrifice her. Is it because she still cares about Hayden? Is it because she doesn't want to hurt Cadenza? She's about to kill her so I doubt it's that.

So much just doesn't add up with Glenda, so much that I have a never ending series of questions. When did she become a Shadow Knight? Was it in the Nether when they left Sasha behind? Was it before that? Did she go on that mission to save Hayden as a Shadow Knight and somehow not blow her cover? Or was it after that, in the brief window of time between Sasha coming back and Cadenza going missing, that she somehow ended up dead, in the Nether, and then back in the over world without raising an eyebrow? Or was she a Shadow Knight the whole time? Did Cadenza spend her entire childhood being raised by one?? Will I ever get answers as to any details regarding Cadenza's childhood outside of Laurance?! (The answer to that one is no)

But then one question made me really stop and think. One that matters more than any questions if lore, or continuity, or a series of events to follow.

Did the writers remember that they made Glenda Cadenza's mom?

And let's be clear, it's not like, a sin if they forgot. I'm a writer and I forget my own plotlines all the time. I go back through my drafts and other chapters all the time to make sure I'm maintaining at least some semblance of continuity, and I know that in a world as big and full of characters as this one, some details are going to get left behind or forgotten.

But it is mad disappointing because if the writers did remember that Glenda was a maternal figure to Cadenza, then they would also then realize that every member of her family has been either killed by shadow knights, nearly killed by shadow knights, or become shadow knights. Every. Single. One.

If Glenda was able to properly be Cadenza's mother there's a wellspring of character work to go down. It's never directly stated where Cadenza learned to sew from, so what if she learned it from her mother? One of her greatest forms of self expression is seemingly forever tainted with the presence of the monster who took the place of the mother who taught her everything she knows.

And how does Laurance feel about all this? He never refers to Glenda as a mother, even after he starts tossing around the Dad word around Hayden. It gives a sign that maybe Glenda didn't have an interest in raising Laurance, perhaps that while Hayden and Joh may have had some kind of co-parenting or gay marriage set up, Glenda was exclusively focused on being the mother of Cadenza. Or maybe she tried but Laurance pushed her away and she never tried hard enough. Maybe Laurance rejects the idea that he can have a mother. A father can be replaced, but a mother? Nobody can replace the woman who nearly gave her life just to bring him into this world. No one.

As it is in canon, Glenda is a footnote in Cadenza's tragedy. Just another shadow creature that tried to hurt Cadenza, without a proper recognition of just how significant her betrayal is. If Glenda's status as Cadenza's Mother was used to its fullest effect, we could have a family tragedy to surpass the Ro'Meave's, one where a single girl can be at the center of so much shadow and still barely manage to be a beacon of light in the darkness, even if her own family tries to kill her.

I've just. I dunno I've been thinking about Glenda a lot recently

[mumblingsage]

I'm currently wrestling a bit with the concept of 'trauma dumping'. I am not in love with the phrase, although there is a type of behavior it refers to that isn't the most productive -- to borrow the words of someone else smart on Tumblr, "I love pancakes"/"My brother choked to death on pancakes" (especially when the pancake-lover is a stranger to you).

And I've been a real-life example of the pancake meme! In the months after my dad died, I had to navigate how to talk about it, and sometimes I did blurt out stuff that turned out to be way more intense, once said aloud, than I realized it would be. Awkward! Though I and my conversational partners all survived (more than I can say for my dad... say, does pitch-black humor count as trauma dumping?)

On the other hand, when my partner visited recently, we had a mutual awareness of messed-up pasts and could refer to them without derailing each other's days. Which was super refreshing!

Also I feel like there are places where "trauma dumping" is becoming another form of stigmatization. Which enrages me. Sorry you feel uncomfortable when other people talk about shit they've been through. Have you considered wearing big kid underwear and dealing with it.

Still, especially in conversations where we aren't all close and some of us might be fragile, I'm inclined to use a light touch when talking about specific examples of terrible experiences. Then there's the cases where I flew too close to the sun of my own experiences and my tolerance suddenly snapped, or cases where I brought up a real experience and it, uh, failed to improve or clarify the conversation (very demoralizing).

On my third or fourth hand, I am entering 2025 with a mood of Big Privacy. I definitely think we should all keep talking about trauma and grief and expanding public knowledge on them. And we should be able to talk about our personal trauma with trusted friends, loved ones, even chill acquaintances. I admire people who publicly talk about their own trauma for reasons of public advocacy or simply because they've decided the effort of not talking about is not worth it for them. Personally, I do not trust people at large on Elon Musk's internet with that information, and we have never owed anyone any of this information. I have talked about some stuff, and there is some stuff I have not talked about in the written internet record (and how 'big a deal' that stuff might be...is also something I won't talk about. A dramatic toe-stubbing incident when I was five? Impressed by the British Navy? That's for me to know and you to guess at and never be certain of!). Sometimes I am tempted to and I hold back. Perhaps at times I have even outright lied (I think it's useful for privacy to keep this a live option!). Or told the truth and been misinterpreted. I encourage other people to entertain these strategies as a way to maintain control on topics where we do not have a lot of control. [I'd hope it goes without saying that I do not condone the con artist/cult leader strategy of making up a Tragic Backstory and using it as a tool of emotional manipulation or fundraising. Nor do I propose shoving down your pain and never acknowledging it to yourself or to people you trust. I am proposing adding to the toolkit, "None of your business, maybe I have and maybe I haven't, maybe it happened to a close friend and maybe that close friend is me" as a way to enforce personal boundaries and safety - and maybe even muddying the waters to protect others in a kind of 'I am Spartacus' way, by making clear your ignorance about me is the same ignorance you have about anyone else.]

[deityoftherain]

honeybees, i'm home - Jizztho Traffic Life Superpowers AU

Rating: Teen

Relationship: Mutli, Other (Polyam Jizztho Fic)

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Status: Completed Oneshot

Word Count: 3,924

Summary: For the most part, Etho loved their life. Their job as a hero could be entertaining sometimes and their domestic, civilian life with their husband and wife contained some of the favorite moments they've ever experienced. Despite their deep affection for their partners, Etho was forced to grapple with the inability to kiss them due to their dangerous ability. They expressed their love and care in other ways, but that desire still lingered in the back of their mind...

This fic is standalone, but click here to read the whole AU on AO3

Full fanfic underneath the cut! Please reblog, leave kudos on the AO3 fic slash notes/likes here on Tumblr, comment either place, and etc if you enjoy the story :D

As much as Etho valued their job as a hero, they preferred their time as a civilian. Being a hero had its perks and times of excitement, but Slab- their alter ego’s name- wasn’t the one who got to do the stuff that made life worth it. Etho was the one who went canoeing with Joel on sunny days. Etho was the one participating in month-long tournaments of competitive couponing against Lizzie. Etho was the one enjoying the life they earned because of their work as Slab.

Unfortunately for them, today had not been a day where they could live as a civilian. It was a work kind of day, full of patrols and wasting away in the lab section of the Traffic City Hero Agency.

The patrols were interesting, at the very least. Etho had been able to stop and arrest a group of rookie thieves that robbed a jewelry store. It wasn’t much, but it was something, and it was better than sitting in a lab while the scientists tested and observed their spit.

Etho’s spit was toxic at varying levels. With focus and after a lot of practice, Etho had become skilled in controlling the concentration of toxins in their saliva and determining their effects. Without that focus, however, the toxins acted unpredictably, doing as they pleased.

That fact was the reason why they always wore a mask over their mouth as both a hero and a civilian, and why they never ate around other people. They barely felt comfortable making an exception for their spouses while in the privacy of their own home! There was always a chance that they would accidentally poison someone. Even if it wasn’t a lethal dose, Etho didn’t want to be responsible for causing an innocent person harm, especially when that innocent person was someone so close to them.

Hanging around in the lab was the last item on their agenda before they could go home. Once the scientists collected all they needed from them, Etho wasted no time in leaving. It was safe to say that they didn’t need to be told twice.

Etho arrived at the two-story house they shared with their hero partners, who also happen to be their husband and their wife. They were a team at work and while at home, each doing tasks to support each other. This structure worked well for them and Etho would always feel lucky to be a part of it, even when they felt as if they weren’t enough for them sometimes.

It wasn’t Lizzie or Joel’s fault, but some of Etho’s own insecurities lingering from their childhood. Their upbringing hadn’t been the most supportive or friendly, but they did their best to conceal the deep wounds and scars left by it.

While they had grown confident in their abilities, doubts still hovered. The mind wasn’t always kind, but therapy and loving, tenderhearted words from their spouses greatly aided in combating such thoughts.

“Honeybees, I’m home!” Etho called to complete the ritual as they entered the house and slipped off their shoes. 

The ritual had been started by Lizzie and continued by both Etho and Joel. It was the phrase they all used when announcing their arrival home. They would sometimes use it even when they were all walking in together! It was a play off of “Honey, I’m home!” but using their shared last name instead. 

When the three of them were engaged, there was some talk about what they would do with their last names. They wanted to share one instead of all of them keeping their own last name so there had been a lot to talk about and consider. After some discussion, they decided to take on Lizzie’s last name, hence “Honeybee”.

“Etho! Welcome home!” Lizzie greeted, though she sounded a lot more panicked than glad to see them. “Uhhh, don’t come to the kitchen. No reason why, just, busy! Stay there and- ah!”

Etho raised an eyebrow at Lizzie’s commotion. When they heard something drop on the floor, they decided to break the order and make their way toward the kitchen. When they turned the corner, they understood why Lizzie didn’t want them to come near.

The kitchen was a mess. Ingredient containers were scattered all over the counters, dirty bowls and spoons stacked up in the sink, something smelled burnt, the microwave door was still open from melting butter, and flour coated Lizzie and part of the floor.

When they made eye contact, Lizzie simply gave them a guilty, “I know I made a mess” smile and Etho responded with a light chuckle. “Would you like help cleaning up?” “Yes, please.” Lizzie let out a breath as her shoulders and fairy wings relaxed from their previously stiffened position. “I was trying to finish this cake before you and Joel got back, but I got distracted and burnt the first cake so then I had to start another one, it’s in the oven, but I made a mess and…”

Etho had expected her to say more, but she just gestured hopelessly at the chaos around them. They walked around the kitchen island to give her a hug, ignoring the flour that got on them as well, and pressed a brief “kiss” against her forehead. It wasn’t a proper kiss because of their mask (they wouldn’t have gotten this close without it) but the clothed kiss simulated the intent behind it.

“If you sweep, I’ll get started on the dishes,” Etho offered, knowing Lizzie’s distaste for it. She enjoyed baking, but she (understandably) didn’t enjoy the clean up as much, especially the dish washing. Etho often took on that chore as a labor of love for her. 

“Deal,” Lizzie agreed, going to grab the broom from its spot in the pantry.

As they started to clean, Etho remembered Lizzie’s previous comment and noticed the distinct lack of their husband from the downstairs area. Because of that remembrance, they asked, “Did the agency call Joel in too?” “Mhm,” Lizzie confirmed as she crouched down to sweep the flour into the dustpan. “They called for him a few hours ago. I assumed he was being called in to help you but, when you came home without him, I figured they needed him for something else. I doubt they’ll keep him out for much longer, so we should hurry up!”

By the time all of the dishes were washed and air drying on the drying rack, the cake’s timer went off. Lizzie opened the oven with one hand, using her other one to grab the fork she had set aside to see if the cake was done. She stabbed its middle with the fork’s prongs before pulling it out and announcing, “It’s done! And not burnt this time!”

“Good job,” Etho praised her as she pulled the cake out of the oven. They took the fork from her to wash and, once the cake was placed on the cooling rack, they took the cake pan as well. “Go change, maybe take a shower to get the flour out of your hair, and I’ll finish up here. There isn’t much left.” “Really? Thank you!” Lizzie’s blue eyes lit up beautifully, as they often do. She practically bounced over to them and gave them a quick, from-behind hug before running up the stairs to her bedroom.

They were well off financially, which was a given considering they lived off of three heroes salaries, and their housing situation reflected that. Their upstairs level had three bedrooms, one for each of the spouses. It was so they could have their own spaces to decorate, have their desk setups, and to hang out alone in if they so chose to. One might think that it unnecessarily separated them and caused distance within their marriage, but they usually (more often than not) ended up having “sleepovers” in each other's beds. Even then, that was assuming they didn’t pass out, cuddled together in front of the television after another long shift.

Once Etho finished restoring the kitchen to what it looked like before Lizzie started baking, they went up to their own bedroom to gather clothes for a quick shower. They took extremely short showers, especially compared to the length of time Lizzie and Joel would spend when taking theirs. Those two could use the entirety of the warm water tank on one shower if you let them and they weren’t trying to rush themselves.

Etho had gotten themself cleaned and downstairs before Lizzie was out of the shower. While waiting for her, they put the cake in the fridge to cool down the rest of the way so Lizzie could put frosting on it before she went to bed if she wanted to. Etho sat down on the couch and opened the book they had sitting on the side table, waiting for Lizzie. About forty minutes after Lizzie joined them to read her own book, Joel entered the house and whined, “Honeybees, I’m home and I’ve molted!”

Lizzie and Etho exchanged a look, knowing what that entailed all too well. Joel was a bug hybrid and his skin acted sort of like an exoskeleton or body armor. When he took too much damage, he would literally molt it off so the undamaged skin underneath could protect him instead. Unfortunately for him, the skin underneath was not instantly battle-worthy and it took several days to harden appropriately. The exact length differed depending on a multitude of factors, such as nutrient intake, energy levels, and how much damage he had taken.

“My skin is all soft and mushy,” Joel continued to complain, sounding much like he wanted to cry but was trying not to. They had done this enough times with him that they didn’t even bother to remind him that most people’s skin was soft and squishy.

“Oh, come here, love,” Lizzie bookmarked her book with a scrap piece of paper before beckoning Joel to cuddle up against her. Joel, ever so careful, sat down next to Lizzie and leaned into her. She wrapped her arm, along with the fluffy blanket she also had, around him. “I know, it doesn’t feel good. I don’t like when I’m on my period either.”

“It’s not a period,” Joel denied weakly but his efforts were in vain. His mood right after molting was as stable, if not worse, than Lizzie’s when her period was really getting to her. Lizzie had made that joke early on in their relationship and it stuck as the term Lizzie and Etho used to refer to his current state.

“There’s no shame in having a period, Joel.” Lizzie smiled fondly at her husband as he grumbled nonsense words in response and curled up tighter against her. She brushed some of his hair out of his face so it wasn’t in his eyes.

“I’ll turn up the heat a few degrees.” Etho went to go do as they said they would, wanting to be useful as Lizzie comforted Joel. Warm places helped Joel feel more comfortable when on his period. 

What else helped? Etho silently ran through their mental list to make note of what else they should do for him. Lots of water and nutrients shortened the length of the period, though, when Lizzie was on her period, she appreciated chocolate, heating pads, pain medication, and tea. 

Joel didn’t experience cramps or pain in a concentrated spot, so a blanket could be more useful and provide broader coverage compared to a heating pad. Pain medication didn’t effectively alleviate his discomfort because it was a different type of pain. However, chocolate and tea could improve his mood. As for nutrients and water, they could be addressed later assuming he had a good lunch earlier. Etho would have to check the pantry to see what chocolate and tea options were available, but he knew they had some.

“No.” Joel stopped Etho in their tracks at the word as he shook his head. Etho raised an eyebrow in question of his refusal. “It’s warm enough in here. I don’t want it to be too warm or you two will get too hot.”

Etho nodded slowly. Okay, that made sense. “Would you like something else instead? Any comfort foods? Something to drink? Another blanket?”

“Kisses,” Joel answered very matter-of-factly. He stared at Etho, his brown eyes seemingly (definitely) pleading with them. Void, it was always hard to say no to him. “Kisses would make me feel better. And not the chocolate ones.”

“Uh,” Etho hesitated dumbly, not sure what to do in response. They had purposely stayed away from properly kissing either of their spouses the entirety of their relationship. Each time one of them asked, they would turn it down or find a way to distract them. This time, they decided to divert it with a masked kiss on the forehead, near-identical to what they gave Lizzie earlier. “Lizzie can give you the other kisses while I go get you food. Would you like anything in particular to eat?”

“Etho hasn’t told us that they are ready for that yet, love,” Lizzie reminded Joel but she glanced at Etho anyway, “but they know that we would be more than willing if they wanted to try.”

Etho was grateful for the face mask if only because it hid their blush. It wasn’t that they didn’t want to, but it was because they couldn’t. Their saliva had the potential to kill them and Etho didn’t want to lose them, especially not in such a dreadful and preventable way.

Instead of saying anything, they stayed silent. Etho settled down on the other couch and watched as their spouses lovingly kissed each other. It was nice to see them engage in that form of intimacy, even if Etho could never experience what it was like. Sure, Etho was curious, but they could (would have to) be okay knowing that Joel and Lizzie had each other to experience it with each other.

Joel grinned like a giddy child on Christmas morning as his kiss with Lizzie broke. His grin stayed but morphed into a slightly more cocky one as he turned to Etho. “Not that I blame you for staring, seeing that I’m insanely attractive and handsome, and that she’s basically a goddess, but you could join in.”

“I can’t-” Etho started, but they struggled to find the words. Their face flushed like they had been caught doing something they shouldn’t have, but that wasn’t true. Lizzie and Joel had both told them time and time again that it was okay to exist around them, even when they were kissing each other. They had said it was up to Etho’s comfort levels and that Etho didn’t have to leave the room whenever they got handsy with each other if they were okay with being there.

“Can’t or won’t?” Joel challenged, narrowing his eyes.

“Joel, don’t press them,” Lizzie tried to get Joel to back down, but Joel had his target set on Etho.

“Why shouldn’t I?” Joel shifted his attention to Lizzie, but he gestured towards Etho. “They won’t kiss us because they’re scared of their ability. They clearly want to, but they’re pushing us away. Are we just going to wait around until they finally get over themselves? We’re blummin’ married and I can’t even kiss them- not because they don’t want to, but because they’ve decided they’re ‘too dangerous’ or whatever excuse it is this time.”

“I am dangerous.” Etho insisted as they rose to their feet, not appreciating that dismissal. Did they truly not understand the risks? “I could kill you.” “Or you could not. You can control it when you’re paying attention.” Joel detached himself from Lizzie to stand up with them, the green antennas on his head twitching.

“Plus, we have antidotes if something goes wrong, which it won’t,” Lizzie contributed. Etho knew she also wanted what Joel did but she was much more willing to wait it out than Joel was. Joel tended to dive head first into everything he did, not afraid of a challenge, while Lizzie at least tried to have a plan and stick with it, though she was not always successful and some of her plans were overzealous.

“Yes, what Lizzie said.” Joel crossed the room to where Etho was standing and shoved them back down to the couch, not that Etho resisted. He climbed onto their lap and gripped Etho’s collar. Joel leaned forward to whisper in Etho’s ear, “If you really want me to stop, say something, or push me away, but you don’t have to. I trust you and Lizzie trusts you. I don’t understand why you’re still scared.”

Etho’s heart thumped loudly in their chest, but they didn’t push Joel away nor did they tell Joel to stop. Joel had waited several heartbeats, his breath hot against Etho’s ear. When Etho continued not to push away, Joel pressed a kiss against their ear before using his teeth to detach the band holding the mask in place on the left side of their head. The mask dropped, now only hanging off of their right ear, as Joel trailed down to pepper kisses on their neck.

“Joel,” Etho tried to bite back a moan, despite how much they wanted it. Their spouses had seen them without their mask before, which meant they were aware of their pointed teeth and freakishly long tongue, so that wasn’t why Etho was hesitant. Their saliva was still the main concern, screaming loudly and blaring warning alarms in Etho’s mind.

“I want to kiss you, Etho, and you want to kiss me.” Joel pulled away just enough to look them in the eyes wanting to prove to them that he meant it. “You’re not making me do anything. You are not tricking me. I understand the blummin’ risks but I trust you and I love you. What else do you need?”

You. Etho didn’t bother to answer aloud as they closed the gap between themself and Joel, initiating their first lip-locked kiss. Joel buffered for a split-second, not expecting it at that exact moment, before reciprocating with much more energy and fire behind it than he had with the kisses against Etho’s neck. 

Etho wasn’t sure how long the kiss lasted, but they found that they enjoyed the sensation more than they thought they might. When they finally separated, Joel started to giggle in a much higher tone than he ever really did. “That was hot.”

Panic overtook Etho as their earlier anxieties came back to them. Had they poisoned Joel? They meant to control it the whole time, but they stopped focusing on it soon after they started. “Are you okay?” “He’s okay,” Lizzie promised, walking over to sit next to them. She had grown familiar with their saliva’s effects, spending a lot of time looking over the lab results the Traffic City Hero Agency gathered. Honestly, she may know more about their own ability then they themself did. “You just made him really happy, yes, with your ability, but mostly because he’s been wanting to kiss you forever.” Etho didn’t respond to her comforting words, but they nonverbally accepted the explanation. They knew all of that and Joel did look stupidly happy. It was silly to observe, of course, but also sort of adorable and charming.

Joel climbed off of Etho’s lap to give them space, stepping and spinning until he was close  enough to plop down on the other couch with the fuzzy blanket. He curled it around himself, boasting proudly, “I got to kiss my gorgeous wife and my gorgeous spouse! I’m the luckiest man ever.”

“Even though you’re on your period?” Lizzie asked lightheartedly, not used to seeing him this happy this soon after it started and wanting to enjoy it. Joel was usually a lot more clingy and whiny the first day as he got used to having softer skin again.

“I can be lucky and on my period, babe.” That was Joel’s version of an answer, though his words were mostly muttered as his eyes fluttered closed. It made sense that he would be tired, considering he had gotten hurt enough at work that he had to molt. Joel proved that he wasn’t tired enough to sleep though when he kept talking. “Hot men get periods.”

“I never said they don’t,” Lizzie replied fondly before promptly getting distracted by Etho unhooking their mask and placing it on the side table. “Do you not want to wear your mask anymore?”

“Not right now. I will put it back on later, though.” The mask was a comfort, even if it didn’t have a practical reason attached to it. Etho reached forward to cup Lizzie’s face, but they chickened out. Instead of holding her face, they diverted the motion to tuck some of her pink hair behind her ear. “Lizzie, can I…?”

“Can you…?” Lizzie prompted with a sort of bashful tone to her voice. Etho wasn’t sure if they had placed the emotion correctly, but they didn’t dwell on it.

Etho took a deep breath, hyping themself up in their own head, before committing to cupping Lizzie’s face this time. “Lizzie, can I kiss you?”

“Of course you can, you idiot.” Lizzie’s insult didn’t wound them because they knew she didn’t mean it negatively and, even if she did, they likely deserved it. “And, before you tell yourself otherwise, remember what I have told you many times before: I love you, I trust you, and I know you would never hurt me on purpose. Joel and I both know that and we both care deeply for you. We wouldn’t have married you otherwise. At least, I wouldn’t have.”

Much more confident in their ability to kiss without hurting their partner this time, Etho initiated it without any more hesitations. Lizzie’s lips were soft and she tasted sweet, sort of like cake. She must have eaten some of the cake batter that she had made earlier that afternoon. Lizzie smelled just like the shower products they had gotten a coupon for awhile back. It suited her well; maybe they should get that brand again. Etho would have to look out for another coupon for the shower products to surprise her with it. She would be excited if they could find one.

When they broke from the kiss, Lizzie was also grinning from ear to ear but Etho was matching it. They were much less vocal than Joel had been, neither of them saying a word as Lizzie leaned into their chest. Etho held her close, letting her stay like that as they rested their head on her shoulder. After a while, Etho shifted their positioning so they could pick her up and carry her to the couch Joel was on.

Sitting down on the couch, they let Lizzie rearrange herself to find a comfortable position next to them while Joel just leaned his body more into Etho. None of them were quite ready to sleep, but the moment to cuddle presented itself and none of them thought to refuse it.

Joel reached for the remote and turned on the television. He curled back up against Etho as he flicked through shows in their watch later list to find one all three of them had been watching together. Etho didn’t really care nor did they pay attention to what Joel picked out. The buzz they felt from their spouses' affection was more enough to keep them content at the moment, nothing else mattered quite as much.

[amoebaforce]

I'm unsure if requests are open but if they are

Any odds you could do something with Urianger and the other scions comforting a WoL (who uses it/it's if that's fine, if not they/them works too) who has been brought to an emotional breaking point over missing G'raha Tia during ShB. Who, to the WoL's knowledge was nowhere to be found in the crystal tower, and is not in the first.

(Sorry if the phrasing with this is bad I'm not fully sure how else to phrase it. I think I should include here that it'd not be all the scions at once but like, if one of them specifically noticed.)

Sticking with Urianger for this one, anon. It deserves to be fleshed out and not tacked on with other Scions (but if you want those too, please ask).

tags: angst, G'raha x WoL shipping, gn!WoL word count: 780

Urianger can't sleep. No matter how tight he draws the curtains, no matter how far he buries himself under duvets and pillows, the ever-burning sky is just too bright. Groaning, he pushes himself up from his borrowed bed and blinks into the pale-gold clouds.

"Blasted Light," he mutters, slipping a dressing gown over his shoulders.

Urianger ties his robe and shoves his feet into a pair of slippers, then pads out into The Pendant's arched hallway. It must be past midnight, but a lonely violin melody floats up from somewhere below, slow and sweet as flowing honey. The song of a fellow night-owl, unwilling or unable to shut their eyes. Urianger sighs.

By the time he realizes his body is moving, it's too late to resist. He follows the sound down, down, called as if by sirens, until he finds its source: a single bard in an empty courtyard, taking advantage of the isolation to practice some sheet music. At the sight, Urianger is... oddly dissatisfied.

Why? he wonders. It's not like he was expecting anyone in particular. But as he turns to leave, a flash of movement catches the elezen's eye. Along the courtyard's farthest edge, tucked up on a bench, is none other than the Warrior of Light. Urianger freezes. Confusion stings at his senses, even stronger than the garish sky.

And once again, he's approaching before he can think. The Warrior perks up at the sound of his steps, shoulders stiffening as though they've been caught in some nefarious act. A pang of sympathy passes through Urianger's chest.

"I see you, too, are plagued by restlessness tonight," he offers slowly.

The Warrior's purple-ringed eyes shift to the empty space between their shoes. They gesture to the empty seat beside them. Urianger nods and settles in, and for a long moment, no one speaks. The bard plays the chorus twice, trying to correct some imperceptible flaw.

"This song," the Warrior says suddenly. "It reminds me of one back home."

Urianger hums. "Which one?"

"I don't know its name... I don't even remember the words. But I know the minstrels in Mor Dhona used to play it late at night, when it was just me and Raha-"

The Warrior pauses mid-word. Urianger steals a glance, only to find their eyes misty with tears.

"I'm sorry," they say. "I just... I miss him."

The Warrior's sorrow overflows, breaths hiccuping in their chest. Urianger freezes like a mouse in the shadow of a hawk. His heart stutters, sodden with guilt.

Godsdammit, why does he always end up here? Forced to lie, to double-cross and obfuscate in service of some grander plan, even when it hurts his friends. Why does it always have to be him?

Perhaps this is my burden, he thinks. Perhaps this is the cost of seeing ahead.

But that doesn't make it feel any better. Urianger knots his hands in his robe, hiding his whitening knuckles.

"Do not apologize," he replies. "We have all left much and more behind."

"I know," the Warrior sniffs. "It's just... G'raha said he'd be inside. I saw him go inside, but we've looked and looked for weeks, and he's nowhere."

"That does not mean that he has suffered any great misfortune. The tower is vast and esoteric; there are myriad places yet to explore."

But it is pointless, a crueler thought scolds. He has been here all along, right in front of you, and I am the reason you have not realized.

Urianger shakes the notion away.

"Gods, why is this happening?" the Warrior weeps, burying their head in their hands. "Why isn't it enough to be ripped away from home and deposited into this horrible place? Why did I have to lose him, too?"

"You have not."

"Yes, I have. Just like everything else I've ever loved."

"No," Urianger says, fiercer than he means to. "No. Once we have cleansed this benighted land and fulfilled our destiny here, we will find a way home, and you will see that not all is lost. I swear it to you."

The Warrior blinks at him, and Urianger fights the urge to wince. Has he said too much? Has his impulsive declaration invited questions he cannot answer?

But then, the Warrior wraps their arms around his shoulders and pulls, folding Urianger into a grateful embrace, and the elezen blows out a relieved sigh.

"Thanks, Urianger," they say. "You're right. As long as Raha is out there somewhere, I can't give up looking for him. I mean, what kind of hero does that?"

Urianger utters a half-hearted chuckle and pats them on the shoulder.

"No such hero as you are, my friend," he tells them.

[mjwiththefangs]

Trickery & Daggers - Chapter 6

In which a hungry vampire comes calling. Also on AO3 Masterlist Word count: 1875 Warnings: Vampire bite scene, blood loss.

--

Astarion is hungry. By the nine hells, he's so hungry. His stomach hurts. The animals he's been feeding on lately have been a welcome improvement for his paltry diet, but even so, it never quite satisfies the overwhelming gnawing in his belly.

 Morgana is crouched down, inspecting a dead boar in the road. Ah. Astarion really must remember to clean up after himself in future, he notes. If they discover his nature now, he'll be ostracised, abandoned. He needs the group, he needs her and the protection she grants.

 Since he peeked in her journal, and caught her limping, she's been a bit more on edge around him, more withdrawn. He's trying to figure out how he can use what he gleaned to his advantage. Should he casually drop a few elvish phrases in her ear and see how she reacts? The possibilities. 

 The woman is eyeing him carefully, trying not to be caught looking.

 How cute. Well, it would be anyway, if he couldn't see the way the cogs in her head are turning, or feel the vaguest suspicion in her gaze. Curiously though, he can't sense hostility. 

 That would be something he would remember later.

.

It is night. They've had a long day, batting at goblins and checking out an abandoned village, even rescuing a gnome from a windmill. They plan to go back tomorrow.

 For once, Morgana is not on watch. She's tired to the bones. Her leg has been aching recently. Normally, of course, she can cope and get by just fine. But normally, of course, she isn't hiking every day, or battling or even sleeping rough anymore. It's starting to wear her down.

 So, in an attempt to take care of herself, she lies on her back, staring at the roof of her canvas tent, and has a pillow stuffed beneath her knee to alleviate the discomfort.

 Her stomach growls as she tries to get comfortable. She has eaten, of course, Gale did rather good with what meagre offerings they brought to him and it went down very nicely with a bottle of blackstaff.

 With a sigh, she closes her eyes, trying to shut out everything around her and count her breaths and drift off. 

 Perhaps it is because she hears something, or she's uncomfortable or even the distracting hunger deep in her belly keeping her awake, that her eyes open at the right moment.

 Astarion leans over her in her tent, his mouth wide, revealing a pair of sharp glittering fangs.

 “Shit.”

 In one hasty motion, he scrabbles back in the small tent, holding one arm in front of himself, exclaiming “no, no- it's not what it looks like!”

 “What was it supposed to look like?!” She snaps, hissing under her breath in an attempt to not wake the others.

 His mouth opens and closes, failing to come up with a quick answer.

 She groans, dragging a hand down her face. She crosses her legs and wearily stares him down.

 “You're a vampire.”

“I- yes.”

“Have you killed anyone?”

“Well. Not for food.” his lips quirk at the corner.

 She really should have seen this coming. He was far too nonchalant about the dead boar they found on the path. A long pause passes between them. Astarion squirms uncomfortably and Morgana ignores him. It all makes sense, after all.

 They both jerk when their tadpoles suddenly react, and she catches a cold glimpse into his unpleasant memories. She feels the ugly blood of a dead rat wash over her tongue and choke her. But it is all the master will allow her to eat.

 Then, they're both still. Her eyes meet Astarions, where he glowers from the other end of her sleeping bag.

 “You… you ate rats?”

 He rolls his eyes. “Yes. Rats, bugs. Whatever… my Master -” he sneers the word “- deemed me worthy of.”

 There's a clear distaste in his words, laced with bitterness and venom, and it becomes clear that he would rather not discuss it. So they don't. Not now, anyway.

 He's returned his attention to her, leaning forward slightly, imploringly. “I just need a little blood. I could think clearer, fight better- please?”

 Can she trust him? Probably no, she reasons, though he hasn't hurt her yet and it's clear his secrecy is formed from self preservation. He's hungry and that's something she's all too familiar with. Maybe they aren't so different after all. 

 Morgana can feel the persuasive pull of his words, the finely woven manipulation within his soft spoken plea.

 She knows this is a bad decision. She knows. And yet, she just can’t bring herself to let him starve.

 “Ok.”

 Surprise briefly flits across his features before he carefully schools his expression into a smooth grin.

 “Let's make ourselves a little more comfortable, shall we?”

 And that's how she finds herself on her back in her tent, avoiding looking at the handsome man looming over her as he eyes her throat. Her heart hammers in her chest, waiting, the anticipation is almost too much.

 His head dips and she squeezes her eyes shut, bracing.

 “Remember to breathe, darling.”

 His voice ghosts over her skin before his fangs suddenly pierce her.

Her body jerks and she sucks in a sharp gasp, her eyes snapping open.

It’s like shards of ice in her neck. The pain burns, then fades to a numbing sensation. A soft groan slips from Astarion, his lips latched on her neck, drawing deep of her life blood.

 She can feel his hard body pressing closer to her, steadily getting warmer as he drinks, or maybe she's just getting colder. His arms snake around her, clutching at her like a man starved, gripping her tightly.

 It feels oddly intimate. Very intimate. But, she finds herself not minding so much. In her peripheral, she can just see the tips of his ears flushing a pretty pink hue.

 Cute.

 His ear twitches. Her hazy eyes struggle to focus. He can’t have heard me.

 Oh, but he did. It takes her a moment to realise what she’s done. Without thinking, she’s inadvertently linked their tadpoles. She can feel his giddiness, how he’s utterly enraptured in her blood, unable to think of anything else. She can feel him growing stronger. She can feel how good it feels, her own warm rich blood washing over his tongue, penetrating all his senses, satisfying a deep rooted craving and need in him.

 Unthinkingly, her fingers curl into the fabric of his shirt and another soft noise comes from him. She knows she’s playing a dangerous game, she knows she’s giving him too much, and of course realises he’ll know too, as her thoughts brush against his. He can’t feed for much longer, not if she wants to wake up in the morning anyway, but she just can't bear the thought of leaving him to his hunger.

 So she relaxes beneath him, absently reaches for his silver curls, twirling a lock around her finger until her limbs start to feel heavy and her fingertips are numb with cold.

 She tries to clear her throat. “Astarion. That’s enough, ok?”

 Her voice is soft, the hand she meekly pushes against his chest more so.

 It’s like she’s pulled him from a trance, and then suddenly the thread between them breaks, her thoughts her own once again.

 He gulps down the last mouthful of her blood, pulling back and dragging his tongue once over the wound, wasting not a drop.

 When he finally sits up, his pupils are blown wide, almost completely drowning out the reds of his iris’. A line of red runs down his chin. He looks ecstatic. His face is flushed and he wears a silly grin, his fangs on full display. Morgana hasn’t seen him like this before, and briefly finds herself thinking it suits him.

 “That- that was amazing.” He laughs breathlessly, full of wonder. “My mind is finally clear. I feel strong, I feel… happy.”

 Morgana pushes herself up onto one elbow and brushes hair away from her face to look at him. Hells, she’s getting dizzy. Meanwhile, he’s practically glowing, he looks so alive. Her head tips and she shoots him a tired smile.

 “I bet you could really kick some ass.”

 It seems like he’d almost forgotten she was here, his attention snapping back to her and he almost seems thoughtful. “Yes. Well, that shouldn’t take long, so many people need killing.” He breezes.

 She chuckles again. What a strange elf he is.

 Her body feels so heavy. The feel of her pillow under her head is a welcome one and she melts into it, spots swimming in her vision.

 “Are you alright?”

 Oh. Astarion is still here. 

She must be taking too long to answer.

 “Morgana?”

 Her eyes blink a few times, finally locking on to his handsome features. Her blood is still on his chin. He’s cautiously scooted nearer, hovering not too far from her. Has he ever said her name before? She’s not sure.

Oh, wait, she needs to answer him.

 With some effort, she waves her hand. “I feel tired. Woozy. Like I need to sleep for a week.” She sighs, further sinking into her bed. “I’ll be ok.”

 That seems to have been a satisfactory answer.

 “In that case, if you’ll excuse me, you’re invigorating, but I need something more filling.” The vampire mock bows to her and rises to his feet, carefully stepping towards the tent exit.

Part of her wants to ask him about himself, or just to confirm that she can and will be asking him come the dawn. Alas, she doesn’t have the strength.

 Astarion stops short just before the exit. Curious. 

 He turns, looking over his shoulder. “This is a gift, you know. I won't forget it.”

 And with that, he is gone. She forgot to tell him he missed a bit.

 As she drifts off, back into a dreamless sleep, listening to the vampire’s footsteps fade into the distance, a vague part of her mind notes that she doesn’t feel hungry anymore.

.

Astarion’s undead heart is thrumming with life. His body feels as though it is buzzing beneath the surface of his skin, stronger than he has felt before, brimming with a power all his own. All thanks to her; to her blood.

Honestly, he hadn’t expected her to allow him to bite her, but then she had been more curious rather than hostile earlier that day.

 The blood of a thinking creature. 

 He had tasted her, bit her, drank deep of her blood, and not only had she let him, but he learned something.

 He can deny Cazador. 

 He won’t ever control me again.

Astarions mouth stretches into a feral grin. He’s free.

 His pulse thrums, full of energy. He is itching to hunt. His senses are stronger than ever, he can hear for what must be miles, from the rustling in the grass, to the sound of his willing blood donor as she rolls onto her side to sleep. Even her weakened heartbeat, still stubborn and beating despite its lethargy.

 He is desperate to hunt and kill and drain something. Anything.

 In the near distance, he catches the scent of young stag.

 Yes, that will do nicely.

 Astarion sets off running.

[000yul]

speculation/rambling on ya's name (睚)

in the new arknights event on global (where vernal winds will never blow) we get a new character named ya, a feranmut that bears a massive grudge against sui for what went down during the whole founding of yan

we know that ya is associated with the seasons, and that ya fucking hates being called ya, as that was a name given to her/them by humans. as far as i can remember, we don't actually know what ya calls herself/themselves, as it doesn't come up?

anyway, with my middling chinese skills i looked up ya on baidu (below this is my speculation, dont throw pitchforks at me lol i'm just trying)

in a literal sense, it's a fancy way of saying the corner of the eye, but it seems to more commonly mean angry stare - or metaphorically, a small/minor grudge. now, nothing about ya's (the arknights character's) grudge seems small, but i think things make sense if you read a little further

to elaborate, the baidu link above talks about the word's use in various classics. e.g. one of them from the records of the grand historian (史记) goes:

一饭之德必偿；睚眦之怨必报

which ROUGHLY means

repay the kindness of a single meal; repay the enmity of a single angry stare

the other phrases in that baidu link are kinda similar, talking about essentially, 'seeking revenge for even the smallest grievance'.

so! i'm thinking ya's name is an allusion to the greater meaning of these phrases. they're out for blood. they've counted all their debts and they've come to collect. which, well, this is fairly clear from the story itself, but it's interesting thinking about how the name ya might have come up in-universe to describe this character

anyway, ya big sexy, thanks for reading to the end

(unrelated: 'where vernal winds will never blow' is not at all the same as the cn event name （登临意）which. i also don't know how to interpret. 'the meaning of climbing mountains' possibly...? is that an allusion to chongyue's long journey on making himself a master of the martial arts, which are strongly associated with the mortal humans in ak.....? like a 'why put so much effort to reach the pinnacle of something, kinda vibe.....?? i dunno for sure, im not literate enough for this)

[novelmonger]

2-4, 13, 16, and 24 for any fandoms, please?

2. a headcanon you weren't sure about at first but have come to like!

I used to get kind of annoyed when FMA fans would talk about Roy Mustang being Xingese. Like, what, just because Arakawa-san drew his eyes a little pointier than other characters', that means he's from Xing? Some people just have smaller eyes, you know! Yoki looks more Xingese than Mustang, if you ask me, yet nobody talks about him being from Xing!

But I've read some really interesting fics that explore what it would mean if he was Xingese, or half-Xingese. The implications of one or both of his parents being Xingese immigrants, legal or otherwise, can be really fun to poke at.

3. a character that fandom has helped you appreciate

You know, if I'm being really honest, I never particularly cared about Merry from LotR that much. He just didn't interest me, compared to all the other characters. But I have to say that hanging around the Fig Tree Discord server has given me new appreciation for him, because of how much they talk about him in such glowing terms XD He's still probably my least-favorite of the four main Hobbits, but I have to acknowledge that he is one practical dude who can Get Stuff Done, and there's so much courage and angst and hurt/comfort in his scenes in the Battle of Pelennor Fields and the aftermath.

4. say something nice about a ship you don't ship (it can be another ship in your fandom, a mutual's OTP, etc)

Mmkay, so I don't ship Bucky and Natasha (mostly because I don't ship Bucky with anyone post-Winter Soldier), but I will say I can understand the appeal. Two ex-assassins who were turned into living weapons, basically, had their bodies modified against their will, carry a huge weight of guilt for the things they've done.... I feel like, if Bucky were to have a successful romantic relationship with anyone, it would pretty much have to be Natasha. She's the only one who could relate to him on that deep of a level, and she would understand his need to go slowly, know how to help him with PTSD, etc.

13. your favorite type of fandom event (gift exchange, ship week, secret santa, prompt meme, etc)

I think I'd have to say prompt challenges, considering I've done three 100 Themes fics, have an ongoing one-sentence prompt challenge fic, and am currently doing my Let Me Count the Ways dialogue prompt challenge. A really good challenge will have words or phrases that immediately suggest a story, but aren't so specific that you have no wiggle room to fit it to various characters.

16. a tiny detail in canon that you want more people to appreciate

This keyboard thing from Andor episode 7 is made from a steno machine! The little typewriter-ish device court reporters use when transcribing court proceedings! I would recognize it anywhere, and I just want everyone to appreciate the origin of this cool-looking prop.

24. how has fandom positively impacted your life?

The most important thing fandom has given me is virtually all the friends I have today. I've met some of the most wonderful people in the world through fandom, people I probably would never have met because of where they live (@dairogo I'm looking at you), because we wouldn't have much in common without fandom (hi @rainintheevening), or simply because we're enough apart in age and space that our paths would probably not have crossed otherwise (<3 @sergeanttomycaptain). I love being able to connect with so many different people through fandom, like most (if not all) of my mutuals here. Even though we have different perspectives on some things, we can all come together when it comes to love of a great story.

Love Your Fandom asks

[fountainpenguin]

"He's a bad boy with a tainted heart... and even I know this ain't smart! But Mama, I'm in love with a criminal..." (x)

---

New Dog's Life chapter today! ~ 3rd Life series fan-season

Chapter 40 - “Wednesday: Melting Cookies”

❤️ Read on AO3

💛 Start from Chapter 1

💚 More Pixels Imperfect fics

---

"That's not cheating, though… I don't cheat. I just have really bad timing."

BigB and Grian spent their night together. Without the need to sleep in the Between dimension (and with so few chances to steal this much time together), is it any wonder they fall so easily into one another's charms?

... Why can't BigB chase away the nagging thought that his boyfriend's seeing someone else? Someone neither him nor the Dog's Life teammate he's permitted to...

Dog's Life anniversary chapters, Part 2!

(First 1,000 words under the cut)

❗ Immediate sensual #trafficshipping (Secret Soulmates), so proceed at own discretion

---

bigbst4tz2

Location: Grian's apartment, Midsouth District, 2nd Floor, 300

🖤  🌕  🖤

He can feel Grian's summer-scented breath against his lips, even though their pixels blended what must've been hours ago. Honestly, BigB stopped counting. Does it matter?

It's Wednesday now. The hub flower came crashing down Tuesday night; it's not like he could go home to his server. His room in Between is a study with bookshelves, but no bed. His betrothed's locked online right now. He has a boyfriend with elbow room for two. They couldn't fall asleep even if they felt like it. I mean… do the math.

Forget golden carrots. THIS is lovemaking. It's Grian lying partly beside and partly underneath him, panting softly and blinking sparks from the corners of his eyes. Mm; used to be underneath. Sort of lost their boundaries when pixels merged. But Grian's the one craning back his head, throat exposed, while BigB's in charge of gentle lips and leaving marks. Not really marks, but you know what he means.

Grian's still sprawled, one arm angled above his head. Naked. Exposed. BigB's hearts surge to crescendo just looking at him there, his wings frisking of their own will at his back. He presses with his hands. Fingers. Palms. Not all his illager magic still works like it used to, but there's enough to trace silent bonding swirls (Want you; find you) up and down Grian's hips. He lets out a shaky breath. It hitches his tongue. My okzHkt Y'nooTAt… Secret passion… Look at me. Want you bonded. Want you mine.

Situating their gangly limbs and bulky wings took a few minutes, but it's not like they hadn't had practice. Mm. Must've been hours ago. When did they last move? Comms are dead. His roommates are tucked online. No one's come knocking at his apartment door. Nothing about this is strenuous enough to take their hunger. And nothing's here to interrupt them. Not even phantoms. Even their hunting calls are silent now. They've never had Between like this.

HkkY VAa. YHkzTAao. otnV. (Keep you. Precious. Stay.)

It's not kissing. There's no grip. No touch. No prickle… but they have their breath. He has his chilliness. Grian has his warmth. It's enough. It's plenty and more. In the back of his mind, he itches for adventure… but he's not about to push the line. Not when Grian looks so peaceful there, even though the punches Scar suggested don't seem like they'd be that hard to work into conversation. That can wait for some other day.

"Such a pretty bird," he murmurs, running his hands down Grian's bare sides. Though he has to say it twice when Grian first looks at him in hazy question and he realizes it came out in Illagealt. BigB licks his lips, repeating the phrase in Tweentext, and Grian lets out a small, wobbly noise. His legs shift, long toes clenching at the air in a bird-like way. BigB moves a finger where Grian can catch it. Grian's body goes liquid again, holding steady. Holding firm. Black eyes flutter open and shut and every breath's one of sauna steam.

"Oh, you're such a charmer. D'you really mean that? You think I'm pretty?"

BigB adjusts his hands, bringing them higher up Grian's sides. With honey-colored slowness, he drags them down to hips again. Grian shivers. Chirps fall from his mouth like rainwater in the desert, and he's precious and BigB came this close to letting him walk away last night. He brings his mouth to Grian's leg, planting another sort-of kiss against his thigh. "Of course. I mean everything I say to you. Especially in bed. You're always pretty, especially when you've been running around, working hard."

Grian makes that noise again, whining like a starving thing. "B, take me back. I was so wrong… Shouldn't've palled around with Bdubs. Not without asking you."

"I'm here. You did ask, kind of? We were halfway to splitting up. I told you it was fine."

"Say something else. In your pretty Illager speak. B, you're just so… You're so romantic."

"Mm… You're so lucky my clones don't copy as well as they used to. Once upon a time, I could split my conscious mind five different ways. I breathed perfect people into life. I would ruin you, G. Oh, I would ruin you right now. You've no idea. You'll never know… but I do."

Grian's code doesn't react with visual signs when BigB blows across it, trying to stir up hot with cold, but… Grian himself murmurs now and then that he really likes the feel of ice-cold breath against his skin. He keeps his shirt off, hand resting on his pec. Trembling as he breathes. Cheek sideways. Legs twisted like a painting of a cherub, of which BigB owns a few from his more… art-oriented collecting days.

BigB curls one hand against Grian's half-mashed cheek. Or tries to. Grian's skin's always been soft as silk. It's one of the most tactile things about him. He misses that smoothness now. Blended, carrotless, no collision stops his hand from drifting straight through Grian's face to the empty nothingness inside. "Hey. Look at me."

"Mm?" Grian blinks his eyes open. Never just one. Always both, like he's excited to take in everything (even in his quiet, peaceful state) and BigB smiles.

"I've missed you lately. Busy little bees keep you up so late… but I'm so glad you're here with me right now. I'm the luckiest moth man in New Star."

"Bragging…"

BigB slides his hand away from Grian's cheek. He draws a circle against (maybe inside) his chest at a slow, careful pace. Grian doesn't react. Can't even feel it. Maybe a little, in the way it stirs his pixels around. The parrot closes his eyes again, drifting back into whatever thoughts had him at the moment. "I'm not lying, though. You're so pretty. You get all the folks you want, but you always come back to me."

Grian shifts his wings. They scrape across his bed sheets. He arches his back just enough to stretch them, then settles down again. "Awww… Yeah, yeah. You know what I like, B. You're gentle…" Softer, "You don't know what that means to me."

"Show me?" he murmurs back, still tracing circles through a sea of pixels with his finger pads. Grian chirps and stretches his arms, too. Then he stretches up with crooking fingers. They pass through skin without a thought, but the loop he makes is clear, so BigB responds.

Up until now, he's been propping himself on his elbow. Now he shifts, allowing Grian's arms to "pull" him down in a spot he likes a little more. Grian guides their mouths together. They part lips before they brush. And it's nothing. Not to him. Not to Grian. He can see as much from the trickling sparks that carve canyons through his pixels, oozing to the bed as his body hitches and he cries.

No touch. Not even soft teeth. They've been blended far too long.

[Full chapter on AO3 - Link at top]

[void-thing]

i'm gonna do that "oddly specific questions" thing I just reblogged for Ruby

this will be a 2 part post because the post is too long

(yes this is the only actual postable picture I have of her for some reason. I will rectify that tomorrow)

(note: all references to AI in this context are actual AGI, not the shitty LLMs people today are talking about)

What's the lie your character says most often? She actually doesn't tell lies often enough for this to be applicable. Partially because she doesn't talk to most people. If she likes you enough to talk to you she likes you enough to be honest with you.

How loosely or strictly do they use the word 'friend'? Very strictly. She can count her friends on one hand (not including her wife and three children)

How often do they show their genuine emotions to others versus just the audience knowing? She actually has an AR system that reads her mind to determine her emotional state and tell people around her. This helps with the difficulties she has expressing them naturally.

What's a hobby they used to have that they miss? She doesn't really have any. If she did she'd start doing them again.

Can they cry on command? If so, what do they think about to make it happen? No. Her therapist is too good for that.

What's their favorite [insert anything] that they've never recommended to anyone before? Favorite flavor of nutrient paste. Most people don't care about nutrient paste. She loves it though, because it's convenient, consistent, and inoffensive.

What would you (mun) yell in the middle of a crowd to find them? What would their best friend and/or romantic partner yell? Just... her name? Her name is Ruby. But this is the 24th century, we use AR to find people.

How loose is their use of the phrase ‘I love you’? There are only 4 people in the solar system she will say these words to: her wife and her 3 children.

Do they give tough love or gentle love most often? Which do they prefer to receive? Gentle gentle gentle. She's a cinnamon roll. She will get upset if you are tough to her or around her about anything in any way. She is very sensitive.

What fact do they excitedly tell everyone about at every opportunity? Anything about nuclear fusion reactors. Literally anything. If she has a chance to talk about that topic she will take it.

If someone was impersonating them, what would friends / family ask or do to tell the difference? Probably something about her childhood. She had an abusive family growing up and the only people she's really talked to about it are her wife and therapist.

What's something that makes them laugh every single time? Be specific! That one meme from My Little Drone where CinderEye blows up Malaysia

When do they fake a smile? How often? She used to back when she lived with her abusive parents. Nowadays though, she doesn't. She's recovered and is now much more honest about how she's feeling. It's just as well - she's very bad at faking smiles.

How do they put out a candle? What's a candle? She's never heard of that before.

What’s the most obvious difference between their behavior at home, at work, at school, with friends, and when they're alone? She has very strict boundaries and only really loosens them around her family and very close friends. She doesn't go to work or have a job though, unless participating in her mandatory Civil Guidance counts as work. (it's just voting on shit)

What kinds of people do they have arguments with in their head? I don't understand this question

What do they notice first in the mirror versus what most people first notice looking at them? She notices her face, most other people notice the sick climate-controlled bodysuit she never leaves her house without.

Who do they love truly, 100% unconditionally (if anyone)? Her wife and kids, of course.

What would they do if stuck in a room with the person they've been avoiding? Probably hide in the corner in silence, even if spoken to. If she had to talk she'd have her AI assistant give her a script to recite.

Who do they like as a person but hate their work? Vice versa, whose work do they like but don't like the person? She hates Stella Sol but does want to visit the Solar Union someday.

What common etiquette do they disagree with? Do they still follow it? She's autistic so she tends to dislike a lot of confusing neurotypical mannerisms such as not saying what you mean and expecting other people to understand. This was a problem back when she lived with her abusive family, now not so much.

What simple activity that most people do / can do scares your character? Talking. (unless it's about fusion reactors or MLD. Then she won't shut up)

What do they feel guilty for that the other person(s) doesn’t / don’t even remember? She tends to be the one doing the remembering.

Did they take a cookie from the cookie jar? What kind of cookie was it? She only likes the chewy variant of chips a'hoy.

What subject / topic do they know a lot about that’s completely useless to the direct plot? Fusion reactors. However, bold of you to assume she's part of a plot. this is just an OC i made for funsies

How would they respond to being fired by a good boss? Probably hiding in her bed and crying

What’s the worst gift they ever received? How did they respond? Her daughter showed her a cool rock and she did her best to pretend she finds rocks interesting

What do they tell people they want? What do they actually want? At this point she kinda has everything she wants. Her life is pretty good now. Mostly she tells people she wants to go home.

How do they respond when someone doesn’t believe them? Depending on the topic and context she will either cry or double down on it.

(part 1/2)

[ultimateissuessimp]

Rota

One shot

Word count: 616

Warnings: My stupidity (Meaning crack fic)

Four men were out in the club in Madripoor. Who could that be? Why, Zemo, Bucky, Sam and Y/N of course! They've been there for half an hour and already there were dudes and girls alike trying to get into either of their pants. Unlucky for them, two of them were off limits and the other two while single, they were not there to mingle. Yet that didn't seem to stop the swarm. Especially that one German guy, who seemed to be eyeing Y/N all night long since they've all had walked inside. He was persistent, not giving up until he got what he wanted, oh how ironic. The only thing he didn't account for was how unhinged Y/N could be at times and that a certain baron was highly unamused with his attempts, shooting him distasteful looks and groaning each time the guy said something so stupid he almost lost braincells.

-Oh come on, cutie. Don't be like that, I'm much better of a company than those dimwits that came with you - the guy said, his German accent heavy in his voice as he spoke, leaning uncomfortably close towards Y/N on the bar, staring at him like he was the finest piece of meat on the market.

-I highly doubt that, mein Freund. One of those "dimwits" as you called them is my husband and I would really suggest you stop hitting on me. Well, unless you'd like to leave this building in a body bag - Y/N said, rolling his eyes before take a sip of his drink, turning his head towards Helmut to observe his reactions.

-Yeah? I bet he doesn't treat you right, you could go for a guy so much better, like me perhaps and keep those empty threats to yourself, we both know that if I give you just a little taste, you won't be able to get enough of me - the man kept going, pushing and pushing like a bulldozer. He even dared to touch Y/N's bicep. Moments before Zemo could interfere, smoke almost coming out of his nostrils, something in Y/N snapped and he suddenly stood up and face the man completely, taking in a pose that could only be described as an anime fan doing the stand for their Attack on Titan anthem.

-Nie będzie Niemiec pluł nam w twarz, ni dzieci nam germanił! Orężny wstanie hufiec nasz, Duch będzie Nam hetmanił! - Y/N started singing a Polish song from the times of World War II, a one that he had learned some time ago, not knowing that one day he would actually use it, but holy hell did it feel good to see the absolute shock and confusion on the German's face. He was truly stunned. So stunned in fact that he couldn't even form a coherent answer, further on making a fool of himself and after finally realising that, he simply walked away, leaving Y/N alone.

Over the loud music, he could hear his husband absolutely losing his shit, laughing hard and almost doubling over because of it since he understood most of what Y/N just sang, the two languages, Polish and Sokovian being somewhat similar, letting him catch out certain words or phrases and actually understand them. Y/N turned to his husband with a cheeky grin on his face, leaning back on the bar before taking his drink into his hand and downing it in one go.

-I fucking can't deal with idiots… - he muttered, proud of himself as the grin never left his face for the next minutes they've stayed near the bar, chuckling from time to time as they've reminiscened about the guy's facial expression when he started singing.