#and that was like 24 hours ago and they still haven’t responded

[aaami]

I’m so annoyed 🙃

[onlythebravest]

.

[jisungsbff01]

.like i need you.5.

...pairing…Chan x reader

...w.c... 2.3k

...genre…slice-of-life, college au!

...warnings…anxiety attack, mentions of not eating, insomnia

...characters...Y/N, (OC) Lilith, (OC) June, Chan, Jisung, Hyunjin(rest of members mentioned)

...synopsis...No one ever really knows what they wanna do in their 20s, but Y/N has always known what she was going to do. So, she began the journey to her dream and is so close to reaching it with no distractions at all. Until she is thrown into a project with Hyunjin, a fellow senior in college, and he introduces her to a few of his friends...connecting with one in particular...

Her whole plan is soon thrown off the track she’s had it on for 21 years….

A/N: I haven’t properly edited this chapter yet, but I wanted to get something out.

 Now that our regular class finals were over, Hyunjin and I were working overtime for the day we had left for our project. We were so close to getting where we needed it to be for his presentation of it and I was getting antsy. Currently, I was holed up in the producing studio I knew that later he would be at the dance studio across town. And, if I am being honest, I haven’t spoken to anyone in almost two days. Not even Hyunjin to discuss the project, granted he was too busy perfecting his routine to notice. In turn, this meant that I haven’t properly eaten… I had no one to drag me for coffee and something to eat and I have been too wrapped up in either the studio or my room on my computer to notice anything else. 

My phone has long been put on Do Not Disturd and I was finally getting somewhere with the background vocals. I’ve never been this picky with my songs, but I think since the main music part is mostly just me, I am overthinking it. I’ve never had to do main vocals and I am by far the best singer there is, but in the end had to for this so I’m kind of stuck with it. 

Although it was on Do Not Disturb, my phone would still occasionally light up with various notifications, and the last time it did, it was 5AM. My body was aching and I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open. I knew I was not going to be able to continue on properly with being as tired as I was and I hadn’t slept in over 24 hours and a little nap wouldn’t hurt. I set an alarm on my phone for 45 minutes and rolled up my hoodie as a make-shift pillow and I rested my head on it and let sleep take me in it’s comforting embrace.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

I was awoken by someone’s hand on my shoulder, calling my name. It was Han Jisung. How the hell did he get in here? I shoot up straight and look around, slightly confused as to where I was…but it all floods back rather quickly, “Ji? What are you doing here?”

He meekly brushed a few strands of hair out of my face as he responded, “I was getting a studio for Chris and I before he got here and the receptionist asked me to check in on the person in here because they’ve been in here since yesterday morning…have you eaten anything, Y/N?”

I stretch widely and got up, back to my seat at the desk and shake my head, “Too busy. I’m okay, though- thank you for checking on me I probably needed to wake up soon anyway-wait…what time is it?” My body panics slightly.

Jisung looks down at his watch and responds, “It’s 6:30, why?”

“Shit, I was supposed to be awake an hour ago…it’s okay, Ji. Again, thank you, but I have to get back to work. But, please tell the receptionist I’m okay.” I dismiss him rather quickly.

He mutters something as he walks out hesitantly. 

I continue to work, going in and out of the recording booth…deleting and rerecording clips here and there, adjusting the bass and trebel, the balance between vocals and instrumentals, going back through the whole song until I was satisfied. Which eventually happened. Only, it was 8:45 by the time that happened. But, finally I was done…and it was basically a whole new song, for the most part. I knew by this time Hyunjin would be at the dance studio, so I decided to head straight there.

Picking up is favorite drink along the way, which the shop owner decided to give me for free this morning for some reason, I made it to the studio by 9 exactly. I quietly made my way into the building, trying not to disrupt anyone and found Hyunjin stretching to soft music. The temperature outside left a bite of cold in the air in the studio, but I’m sure once he got moving he would be grateful for the temperature. 

I mumbled a ‘good morning’ to my friend as I handed him his drink and I sat on the couch, legs folded under me. The tall man went from being on the floor to towering over me in a heartbeat. 

“So I got a call from Jisung this morning…” he started off.

“Oh, yeah? Saw him this morning briefly, one of the few people who have woken me up that haven’t gotten their eyes clawed out, by the way.” I respond with a gravelly voice.

“Mhm, he told me that you haven’t been out of the studio in almost 24 hours?” He states frustratedly. 

“Yes, I got caught up, what’s the big deal, Hyun?”

“The big deal is that you haven’t eaten either, Y/N…you need to eat, and sleep.”

“Don’t worry, I grabbed a snack on my way here, ate it already…mom.” I mumble the last part, because I felt like I was being scolded by my mom.

“Okay, well you probably didn’t eat enough, so what is going to happen is you are going to take a nap here so I know you are actually sleeping and once you are awake, we are going to get you some real food.” 

“I’m not gonna say no to sleep right now, that’s for sure.” 

He tosses me his hoodie and I opt to use that as a blanket, once again, I fall asleep rather quickly and stay that way, even over the music and the dancing in the background. You would think the sounds would keep me from falling asleep, normally they probably would, but in the moment, they lull me to sleep instead. 

I only wake up once and it was when Felix and Chris stopped by, Chris had a blanket in hand and was more than ready to swap out Hyunjin’s hoodie for a proper blanket. He sat next to me, just above my head…and for some reason, I rested my head on his thigh. He stilled for a moment, before relaxing and laying his hand on my arm. I couldn’t help but fall asleep once again. 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

I wake up from the feeling of strong nausea. And an extremely tight chest…

I shoot up from my position on the couch, interrupting whatever conversation everyone was having, and darting to the bathroom. Nothing came up, but I sat there dry heaving for a while. I’ve always hated getting sick in this way, I always felt helpless and no matter what, I always wanted my mom. I suddenly started crying, I felt like shit, hungry but too nauseous to eat. 

My blood sugar was definitely low and my mental health was now taking a drop. And I realize how hard it was getting to breathe.My breaths come out in sporadic huffs as I try to catch my breath just so I could begin to take slow breaths, to calm myself down. I didn’t want anyone to see me like this, especially not Chris. With shaky hands I message Hyunjin, asking him to come into the bathroom.

Within a couple of minutes, he’s running into the enclosed space. My hair, once pulled up into a bun, was now hanging in the hair tie by my shoulders. It was hot, too hot and I felt like I was going to throw up, even though I knew I couldn’t. He took a hair tie off his wrist and pulls my hair up, my head lulls back as he does so and he grabs my hand and sets it over his heart. There’s a loud roaring in my ears and I can hardly hear what he is saying but by the gesture, I understand that he is attempting to get me to breathe at the rate he was.

Suddenly he grabs his phone and dials someone, I still can’t hear him and I am at the point where I genuinely feel like I’m dying. My chest hurts, my throat hurts, and my lungs are beginning to ache from lack of proper oxygen. I see Hyunjin stand up and pull away to wet his hands under the faucet, coming back to put cool water on my forehead and the base of my neck. Out of the corner of my eye I see movement, but am unable to focus…or even care. Hyunjin goes out of view and Chris comes into view, my hand is pulled to his chest and his heartbeat is more noticeable than Hyun’s. He grabs my face so that I am looking at him in the eye and I begin to faintly hear him,” In, out, in out.”

He keeps a steady tempo to it as he continues to instruct my breathing and he hesitates to ask, “Would it be better if I hugged you?”  

I nodded, knowing that deep pressure has helped with attacks like this in the past for me, and once he wraps his arms around me, I am able to relax. My breathing doesn’t let up right away, and I am a little more aware my my surroundings, but I am able to request that he hug me tighter. I sigh out in relief once he gives me what I ask and I rest my head on his shoulder, noticing that Hyunjin had left. 

Once I calm down a bit more, he asks if I need a minute alone. I nod my head in response, needing to wet the cotton-mouth I have going on. He lets me know he was just going to be back in the studio whenever I was ready to come back. I rinsed out my mouth and walked out the door anyway, wiping the tears that gathered in my eyes. As I entered the dance studio, I noticed we had a few more additions to our little gathering. Everyone was here at this point, I made eye-contact with Chris as everyone still socialized amongst each other and signaled for him to come outside the door. I saw him grab my bag and say something to Hyunjin before following me out.

 He made sure the door closed behind him as I spoke, “I think I’m gonna head home, I’m just not feeling it.”

He watched me closely before taking a deep breath through his nose, “Not feeling it, or not feeling good?”

“Both?” I stated, unsure.

“Have you eaten anything?” He asked, knowing the answer already.

“No.”

“Let’s eat before you go home.”

“Chris, I’m not really-” “No, for my peace of mind, I need to see you eat something. Jisung told me how he found you and that you hadn’t eaten. You need to eat, even if it’s something small.”

I think about it before giving in and he’s driving us to a local cafe. 

Chris and I sat and ate for about an hour before he took me back to my apartment, walking me up. 

I felt the warmth of his body following behind me, guarding me…like I’m going to run at the first possible moment. I knew he was worried about me, he was the only one who really hid it well around me. And the past few weeks we’ve grown closer, we’ve gotten each other to open up and have even spoken countless times through text and over the phone. It was in this moment I truly felt feelings friends aren’t supposed to have for each other. I wanted nothing but him in my life. In this moment everything was quiet with him, the stress was gone when I was with him. I was happy and safe when I was with him. 

With him, everything was perfect.

I pulled my keys out of the pocket of my coat, in doing so my bag slid off my shoulder. He caught it, slipping it off my arm so that he could hold it. Before I could turn the knob to open the door, he softly grasped my upper arm, “Y/N, wait…”

My head cocks slightly to the side, “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

He looked like he was in pain, like, physical pain. I grab his hand off my arm, my fingers knotting with his and let out a hum in questioning, asking for an answer. He nods his head and whispers, “Yeah, I’m okay, I just…”

He suddenly pulled me closer to him, still speaking in a low voice, “Tell me if you don’t want this.”

“Want wha”

He kissed me, and it took a heartbeat for me to completely wrap my head around it and reciprocate but once I did oh. I parted my lips, asking…begging for more. I hear my bag drop to the ground as he brings one hand up my body to rest on my hip, the other on my jaw, the tips of his fingers curling in my hair. I pulled him closer by his waist, wanting our bodies welded together at this point. I take a chance and nibble on his lower lips, earning a groan from deep in his throat. My body filled with heat and I wanted more. But I didn’t get more. He pulled away, his body tense and shaking slightly. 

“Yeah, I’m okay, pretty girl.” He said to me, still holding me close to his body. For a few moments, we stayed like that. Until he pressed a few more light kisses to my lips, then my right cheek, left cheek, forehead,nose, jaw, and finally to my neck. I gasped from the sensation, my body still humming. 

He actually pulled away this time, leading my body back and handed my bag back to me, turning the knob that I had barely gotten a chance to unlock before he kissed me. He turned my body, pressed a chaste kiss on the crown of my head before leading me in my shared apartment.”I will see you later, pretty girl. Get some sleep, yeah?”

I nodded, pressing my lips into a fine line, closing the door as he walked away.

------------------

Thank you for reading, let me know what you thought!

[kittycatsheros9]

Ethan Landry x Cheerleader!reader

Word count: 1104

Warnings:stalker Ethan, male masturbation, male oral

Notes: hello. I created another work. Idk how I feel but it’s just such a good pair.

It was your freshman year in college, as it was for Ethan. He first saw you in Econ class. You didn’t know anyone and decided to sit second to the back row. While he picked the seat directly behind you. It was classic. How every college romance begins.

You had already been seated when Ethan was walking up to find a seat. He saw you focused on your phone. You gave him the perfect opportunity to study your appearance. Your gorgeous face with doe eyes and full lips. Hair was in a half up half down claw clip style.

“Wow” Did he say that out loud? Yes he did. You looked up off your phone to find his gaze, already looking at you. A toothy smile was your first movement towards him.

“Hey” You had told him with confidence.

He could tell you carried yourself with love and positive energy. It made him want to be around you 24 hours a day for the whole 7 days of the week. He would not have any cons with that idea.

“Oh hey” Ethan had responded to you while finding his seat directly behind you. His response didn’t carry that confidence you do, which made him a little self conscious. You turned your body around so you could be face to face. Still smiling. Ethan was curious about you and followed up his lousy response with a question.

“So what brought you to Blackmore University?”

Setting both of your elbows onto his part of the desk. Now each palm holding your cheeks. This act made Ethan blush. He had only met you literally three minutes ago and he’s so focused on your beauty. Staring from your eyes to lips, waiting for a response.

“I’m glad you asked, because I love talking about my passions. From the age of like 6, I think, I started doing gymnastics. And then at age 10 I quit, got sorta bored of it and changed my sport. I went into cheerleading and from age 10 to now, that’s what I have been doing.”

“But the most important part I had gotten a scholarship for cheerleading my senior year of high school. Now I will be cheerleading here”

Hold on. Wait a minute. Ethan back tracked your speech. Cheerleading, he begin thinking. As in little outfits and high ponytails. He was already fantasizing about what you looked like in the uniform. Before getting too far into his head, Ethan had came back to your presence.

“Oh that’s really cool”

After that first conversation you two had, he always went to the football games. He liked the sight of you in a skirt and top too tight. Left little to the imagination. And of course Ethan would sneak a photo of you here and there. He kept them in his photo album along with photos you posted on Instagram. Containing your bikini pics and cheerleading pics.

What he used them for was on the sexual side. He was always scared to actually hang out with you outside of Econ class. After all, you could reject him and no more little conversations during class. So he was on the safe side.

Stalking up all your photos and when alone using them for good use. He would be alone, Chad out with his friend group. Always at some stupid frat party.

Ethan laying alone on top of his bed. Pants and boxers down to his thighs. One hand holding his phone and the other stroking his dick. Looking at a photo of you smiling and in a hot tub. No matter what you were doing, you looked pretty doing it.

He spit into is hand. Needing to lubricate his length. Eye lids heavy and trying to keep looking at your photos. But soon failing and dropping his phone to the side of him.

Closing his eyes.

He saw you. You were doing something so dirty. Only between you and Ethan. Instead of Ethan’s hand stroking up and down, it was yours. Your smaller hand trying to fully clasp onto his dick. Now bending down to open your mouth. Your tongue lightly licking his tip. He was already moaning so much, and you haven’t even fully put him in.

He looked down at you with his mouth slightly open. His eyes were heavy. He saw you smiling and looking up with your sweet eyes. Licking a stripe from his tip down to his balls. He pressed his hands into your hair. He never felt anything like this.

You sucked one ball, still looking up at him. And one hand stroking his dick. Moving your mouth to give attention to the other ball, you lightly squeezed his dick. His hands in your head harshly gripping your hair, but you didn’t mind. Leaving your mouth to now fully suck his dick. Giving him no time, you stopped stroking. Earning a whine and you moaned at the sound of him.

His sounds were so pretty to you. It was literally heaven to your ears. You had this nerdy and hard working boy to be so vulnerable with you.

You pushed down, his dick hitting the back of your throat. God was he big. Eyes watering while spit was coming out from the side of your mouth. You moved your head in an up and down motion. Wanting him to each his high. You needed to taste him and swallow his cum. He knew you were a dirty girl, but didn’t tell anyone. He helped you move your head, his hands moving it up and down faster. To his liking.

“Oh fuck imma bout to cum baby” he groaned. You looked up to him and hummed. Wanting him to know you wanted it too. You felt his dick twitch. Your mouth was on his tip but he pushed your head all the way down. Nose was touching his pubic area. He kept you still while hands grabbed onto your messy hair.

You felt him cum down your throat and swallowed what you could. He released his hands out of your hair and let out a long breath. You moved your head up to free his dick from your mouth. Letting go with a pop sound and giggling. You showed him your tongue. You swallowed all of his cum.

He looked at your spit covered face and gave you a smile. Reaching your waist to hug you.

“You’re such a good girl. You do so well every time”.

He opened his eyes.

His cum all over his hand and lower stomach. You weren’t there. You were never there. Ethan was fucked.

[slytherinshua]

AGENT XU genre ➳ fluff. assassin au. warnings ➳ brief fighting. mention of injury and blood. weapons mention. pairing ➳ assassin!minghao x fem!reader. wc ➳ 2.1k. a/n ➳ from this request!

Working alongside Minghao was great about 99% of the time. Missions usually went smoothly since you two worked extremely well together. Well, you used to. Recently, Minghao had grown extra fond of flirting on the job, distracting both of you in the process and allowing your targets to get the upper hand.

You were going to try to talk to him about it today, but there was one problem. You couldn’t find him. You had already looked around the whole building (including the roof and basement) twice. You had gone to your favourite meetup spot, his favourite ice cream shop, and even the park where you had first met. But he was nowhere to be found.

You wondered if he was on a mission and hadn’t told you, but that would be strange as well. Neither of you had gone on a solo mission in years. Everyone at the agency knew you two worked too well together that it would be a waste to send either of you solo.

You decided to ask Jun about it. Maybe he had an insight that you didn’t.

“Hey, have you seen Minghao?” You asked the tall blond man that was currently sorting case files.

“Nope, I haven’t seen your husband.” He responded blankly.

You rolled your eyes, “He’s not my husband.”

“I’d give him a couple weeks, maybe a few days… or hours.” Jun commented, shifting a file into its proper place and ignoring how your expression grew more annoyed by the second. If he hadn’t known you for as long as he had, he wouldn’t have the courage to test your patience with teasing. All the newbies learned to be afraid of you as soon as they were victim to your infamous glare. Jun on the other hand, thought your grumpy face was the funniest thing in the world. Even if you ended up punching him for it, he wouldn’t stop. He was annoying but lovable.

You weren’t going to punch him today, though. You were too preoccupied with finding Minghao for that. Being much more concerned with the whereabouts of your boyfriend, you ignored the teasing remarks Jun threw at you over your marital status. 

You were starting to get worried. Minghao told you everything. He was always talking to you about his plans and scheduling so that you could spend more time together. It wasn’t like him to ghost you for more than 24 hours, whether it was intentional or not.

You suspected this was happening without Minghao’s consent, whatever was keeping him away from you. If you were a normal couple, you would’ve just waited in his room until he returned, but you and Minghao were not normal. You were assassins, and it was quite possible that Minghao was in a dangerous situation the longer you lingered at base.

You gathered your gear and headed out. You were an excellent tracker, so it wouldn’t take you too long to get to wherever he was. You picked up his trail almost immediately, following his traces North until you arrived at an old abandoned building.

Though it was still afternoon, the sky seemed dark and gloomy around this part of the city. There were no cars except a scuffed up black truck that looked like it was older than you were. You gripped your knife a bit tighter and crept inside, following the sound of voices. You picked up on the muffled conversation that they were having, identifying Minghao’s voice almost instantaneously. 

“You said he stopped tracking me three years ago.”

“I know, I know- I thought he did! Who disappears from existence for that long?”

“If he’s tracking me currently, it’s on you.”

“I understand, Myungho. I thought this whole situation was covered. He swore he had handled it.”

At this point, you could peek through an opening into the room. You saw your boyfriend run a hand through his hair, stressed over something. The man he was talking to looked scared, his eyebrows had fallen and he was searching through his high-tech watch for some information. You could tell just by your boyfriend’s body language that he was losing patience.

“This is why you never let someone else handle the job.” He muttered and turned away, “I’m taking a week off. Don’t call me unless it’s an emergency, Chan.”

“Understood. Good luck!” Chan encouraged. Minghao turned around, raising an eyebrow. “You know, with proposing and all.” The other man gave a friendly smiley and Minghao nodded.

You turned back, wondering if you had heard it right. Proposal? Was Minghao planning to propose to you? Did Jun already know? Is that why he was teasing you?

You snapped out of your thoughts, realising Minghao had already left the building. It would be weird if you weren’t back at base by the time he arrived, so you slipped out as well.

You couldn’t lie— the thought of a proposal had your heart fluttering. Still to this day, Minghao was the only man who had an effect on you. You smiled as you walked, thinking back on years ago when you used to be cold and unapproachable to everyone. Minghao had broken through your walls, though. He had somehow managed to force you to break your facade, revealing the softer version of yourself that you had left concealed from the world.

You couldn’t imagine your life without him in it. He was so crucial to your happiness that you scarcely knew how you managed without him for 20 years. You were so caught up in your sweet thoughts that you didn’t realise that you had taken a wrong turn. You looked up. The sky was dark, the street lights were flickering, threatening to burn out. You were in an alleyway which you couldn’t recognize. You knew the geography of the city well. You had to for missions, but this was unexplored territory for you. 

You heard a soft pattering and looked up, squinting to see through the darkness. There was a figure on the rooftop.

“Fuck-” You cursed under your breath, becoming increasingly anxious about the situation you had thrusted yourself into. You needed to get back, preferably without a fight.

The figure jumped down, a cloth mask covering most of their face. You clutched your pitiful hand knife— you hadn’t expected to need anything more. You should’ve at least brought a pistol or something. From the looks of it, this person was much more prepared than you were for the fight that was commencing inevitably. They held a heavy bat in their right hand, dragging it across the concrete in the alleyway as they slowly moved towards you.

“Myungho left his girl unprotected, huh? What a lousy guy.” The man sneered, stepping forward. He looked intoxicated with how careless his steps were. It gave you hope and added to your fear. Drunk men were less precise with their fighting, but they were unpredictable. When they were under the influence, they strayed from their regular fighting styles. You wouldn’t be able to catch on to anything this man did. 

You took a step back, calculating if you would be fast enough to run for it instead of engaging. This guy looked like he would follow you, though. Until you got a hit in, you couldn’t risk it.

The man stepped forward messily, swinging the bat at you. You barely ducked in time, managing to land a kick to the man’s side, but it didn’t do much. You had another second before a heavy swing landed and your vision blacked out.

//

Minghao paced around the basement gym, his constant pattering along the floor starting to annoy Jun who was trying to train in peace. Where were you?

“I haven’t seen her since she left to look for you.” Jun said for the 10th time in the last 20 minutes, landing a particularly loud punch to the punching bag. To be honest, he was stressed too. What was it with people disappearing today?

Minghao stood up, “I should look for her-”

“Don’t you dare. The reason she’s lost right now is because she went looking for you. If we keep this up it’ll be an endless circle. Just stay put. What if she comes back? You should be here.” Jun said seriously. Minghao sighed and nodded, running a hand through his hair from the stress. 

The speed at which both boys turned their head when they heard a footstep was record-breakingly impressive. Jun’s face soon fell in disappointment when he realised it was only Mingyu, and Minghao took on a slight glare.

Mingyu put his hands up, silently professing his innocence, “I didn’t steal your girlfriend-” He whispered helplessly. Jun rolled his eyes, eyeing Mingyu to step out of the room which he did.

Another hour passed and Jun had stopped training and was now scrolling through his phone. He didn’t want to leave for fear that Minghao would go out of his sight the second he was away. Minghao was collapsed on the floor, staring at the ceiling, fiddling with the ring box in his hand, constantly opening it and then snapping it shut again, not bothering to look at the delicate diamond ring inside. Who knew if he was even going to be able to get a chance to give it to you? He let out a shaky breath when his thoughts went there.

“Minghao?”

The choked whisper got his attention immediately and his head shot up, staring at the doorway. There you were. He rushed to you immediately and Jun let out a sigh of relief and gave you two a soft smile. Minghao supported almost all your body weight, guiding you upstairs to his room and setting you on his bed as carefully as humanly possible.

“You’re bleeding.” He whispered with a concerned tone, glancing at your head in worry, seeing the blood trickling down the side of it.

“No shit.” You sighed, hand reaching out and grabbing onto his shirt, silently pulling him closer to you. You wrapped your arms around his waist, but he was hesitant to hug you back.

“Baby, I don’t want to hurt you-”

“It can’t be worse than a swing to my head, shut up.” Finally he did wrap his arms around you like you wanted. Your head rested against his chest barely, some of the blood from your wound staining it.

“What happened?” Minghao asked breathlessly.

“I was trying to look for you, but I got lost in this disgusting alleyway. Then this masked dude came up with a bat and whacked me.”

“What?” Minghao pulled away, shocked.

“He said you were a lousy boyfriend, too.” You murmured, smiling despite the serious situation. Minghao looked highly offended at that.

“How dare he say that-” Minghao started complaining, pointing out everything he did to ensure your safety and that this was the one time that he hadn’t been there and that it would never ever happen again.

“Stop grumbling and just tell me where your medicine cabinet is.” You said, successfully shutting him up for now.

“Right- right, you’re bleeding.” He stood up quickly and opened a small metal cabinet on the wall, pulling out gauze and bandages and disinfectant. He came back and sat next to you, working almost immediately on the most visible wound, cleaning it and bandaging it with the most careful hands.

You closed your eyes, smiling a bit. The way he handled you like you were a fragile piece of glass showed just how much he loved you. His touch was always feather-light, taking no chance in case any pressure might hurt you.

“All done.” He whispered and you opened your eyes again.

“Are you alright?” You asked suddenly, studying his face.

“Yeah, why?” He leaned back slightly.

“You look mad.”

“That’s just my face…” He concluded, pouting slightly which made you laugh.

“Cute.” You pressed a kiss to his cheek, making him smile.

“Does it still hurt?” He said suddenly, breaking the prolonged loving eye-contact, his eyes focusing on your wound again.

“It was a pretty nasty hit so obviously.” 

“Let me kiss it better.” 

Before you could question the logic of his suggestion, he was already pressing multiple kisses to your head, his left hand holding your cheek softly. His kisses travelled down to your cheek before taking a turn. He lifted your face up a bit with his hand and connected your lips. Like Minghao was with everything when it was with you, the kiss was soft and loving. He let you decide when to pull away, which you had no choice but to do when you started running out of breath.

“Better?” He asked, tilting his head to the side with a smile.

You smiled widely, “Much better.” 

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ svt taglist: @kangtaehyunzzz,, @yeonjuns-redhair,, @ddeonudepressions,, @hannahsophie0103,, @skz-minchan-enthusiast,, @shuabby1994

[habizuh-studios]

oooo another random wip i havent touched since 2 months ago..... in which i made a love letter to my past self and made one of those "X gets stuck in a room for 24 hours" except without all the cringe because i cannot handle htat. and also exposition. Enjoy!! TGCF fic btw,,,,,

Xie Lian was not expecting this to be the way his evening turned out, but all is well and good. He’s not dead yet. What is not well and good, however, is the fact that he’s here with Feng Xin and Mu Qing, who clearly haven’t been in this situation due to their reasonable luck. In all honesty, Xie Lian might have been able to do the mission himself. He’s sure that he is capable enough to escape, but clearly his abominable luck had other plans. This curse had caused them to be transported to a room surrounded by dirt- no visible airholes or anything. He’s sure that he would survive, but San Lang would worry, and Feng Xin and Mu Qing can die, even if their lives are prolonged by their God status. Gods can still die. He’s seen it first-hand. STRIKETHROUGH: (He’s experienced it first-hand. He just came back after.) Well, whatever. They have bigger problems to deal with, like trying to escape. Xie Lian’s observational skills have noticed that the room is (274.32 centimeters by 182.88 centimeters) long, the walls are entirely made of dirt with air holes so small that they cannot see it even if their were any, and the word ‘truth’ in dim letters above their heads. It’s almost transparent, but he cannot figure out for the life of him what that is supposed to mean. He isn’t sure if they were here for twenty minutes or two hours, and they need to think of something. From experience, it would probably take two days to suffocate due to his strength and immortality. It would be safe to assume that the same is for Feng Xin and Mu Qing, due to their Godhood. “Fuck, what the hell are we supposed to even do here?” Feng Xin suddenly says, startling both him and Mu Qing. “Your yelling isn’t helping anybody,” Mu Qing responds with a sneer. They’re always like this, so Xie Lian doesn’t worry, but he doesn’t want them to waste their breath. He wishes San Lang were here. He would know what to do… But the password. He shakes his head quickly, messing up his hair while doing so. Either the two don’t notice or don’t care, because they don’t even look at him while glaring daggers at each other. “Let’s not waste air, you guys…” He tries to placate them. He’s not above begging- he’s done it multiple times. If only they would think rationally instead of yelling at each other… He isn’t really doing anything either, so he can’t really be talking, but still. --- AND that's all i have so far! things in parenthesis are stuff i need to edit. yk..

[ejzah]

A/N: And it’s been months since I visited this story. My deepest apologies.

****

Ain’t It A Kick in the Head, Part 10

It was nearly two hours later when Kensi’s phone buzzed with Deeks’ now familiar number. She jabbed the talk button, hissing into the speaker,

“Where the hell have you been? You left hours ago, and I’ve been holed up in this office the entire time.”

Deeks only response was a heavy breath, stilted breath.

“Deeks?”

“Hey,” murmured hoarsely, a wealth of pain in the single word. Kensi immediately straightened, anger disappearing in a moment.

“Deeks, what’s wrong?”

“I need you to come to my apartment,” he said, ignoring her question. “But make sure no one follows you.”

“Deeks,” she repeated, this time in warning.

“Please, just do it for me, Kensi.” Something about him using her real name instead of “Bella”, brought home that something was terribly wrong more so than his strained voice or heavy breathing.

“Ok, I’ll leave right now,” Kensi decided. She started gathering up the papers, shoving them into a spare envelope while she spoke.

“Thanks,” Deeks sighed, and a moment later the line disconnected.

Fortunately, Deeks had shown her a side entrance when they came today, so she’d be less likely to encounter Frankie. She still hurried down the hallway once she was out of the office. It probably should have annoyed her more that she was avoiding a man she could easily fight given the chance, but Deeks needed her more than she needed to soothe her ego.

***

It took 24 minutes to reach Deeks’ apartment, which seemed incredibly long when Kensi didn’t know his condition.

When she reached the door, she used the key Deeks had given her on their third meeting. She’d never expected to need it, but now was grateful; she imagined Deeks laying unconscious in a pool of blood from a gunshot wound.

“Max?” she called out as she stopped in the entryway.

“In here,” he responded, and she followed his voice to the sitting area, relieved that he was at least cognizant. It took her a second to notice Deeks’ hand hanging over the back of the leather couch in the middle of the room.

“Max,” she repeated, rushing around to the front. She gasped softly when she saw Deeks. Her imagination hadn’t been that far off. His torso was bare, shirt stuffed against his lower right side. “Oh my god, what happened?” She gaped at the pieces of bloodied gauze strewn about from an apparent attempt to deal with the injury himself.

Deeks stared at up her through pain-glazed eyes; he tried to shift around to his back, but apparently the pain was too much, and he gave up with a groan. “A bunch of guys jumped me after I left Big Mike’s,” he told her. “One of ‘em had a really big knife.”

“Why didn’t you go to a hospital?” Kensi asked.

“Guys like me don’t really go to hospitals of our own volition. Kind of ruins our street cred.”

“I can’t believe you’re joking right now.”

He tilted his head, unmoved the anger directed his way.

“I’m kind of in a lot of pain right now,” he said. He glanced down at his side, closing his eyes briefly. “Help me.”

Her anger wilted against earnest plea, and she grabbed the rifled through first aid kit until she found fresh gauze, liquid stitches, bandages, and antibiotic cream, and pulled on a pair of gloves.

Wincing in anticipation, she peeled back the now crimson shirt covering Deeks’ right side. She’d known it would be bad, but couldn’t have prepared herself for the deep gash running from his middle rib, toward his stomach.

“I don’t think I can do this,” she said. Normally she wasn’t squeamish; something about the amount of blood, and the severity of the wound, made her decidedly nauseated.

“Yes, you can. I told you I can’t go to the hospital.”

“I haven’t been trained for this level of trauma.”

Deeks closed his eyes again, turning his face away. “I have faith in you.”

Kensi shook her head, silently cursing him even as she marveled at his implicit trust.

Her hands shook ever so slightly as she grabbed a fresh wad of gauze and pressed it tightly to the wound, using a second to wipe away blood that hadn’t adhered to his skin yet.

“Ahaaaha. Oh, I knew you couldn’t keep your hands off of me,” Deeks hissed. When she chanced a glance at him, she saw his jaw was clamped tightly enough the veins in his neck bulged slightly while his skin had taken on an uncharacteristically pale tone.

Kensi figured it was a good sign that he was still joking though. If he went completely silent, then she should worry.

Her fingers felt thick and clumsy as she tried to keep the gauze in place and apply a bandage. A fine sheet of sweat had broken out across Deeks’ skin, and she desperately cast around for something to distract him.

“How did this happen?” she asked.

“Frankie sent them,” Deeks explained around a shallow breath.

“What?” Kensi stilled, forgetting about the bandage for a second. “Why?”

“Well, the guy who was still conscious, wasn’t too forthcoming, but from what I gathered, Frankie isn’t a fan of my recent business choices. He think I’ve been too lenient, didn’t like me bringing you into the operation.”

“And defended me after I punched him,” Kensi whispered numbly. Deeks had warned her about Frankie holding a grudge. She just hadn’t anticipated the backlash hitting Deeks instead.

“Hey, don’t blame yourself. Frankie’s useful, but he also has a vindictive streak that outweighs any supposed loyalty,” Deeks said, gently covering her wrist with his hands. Kensi followed the gesture, seeing blood staining his skin again, and quickly resumed her work before she let emotion take over. “I bet he had this in the works for a while, and this all just gave him the push he needed to put it onto action.”

“Where are they now? The men who attacked you.” By now, Frankie would surely have heard that his attempt at mutiny wasn’t successful.

“Passed out in an alley,” Deeks answered. “But I got a friend who tipped off the police about them. They should be in holding. Or the hospital, depending on how hard I hit them.”

“Well, that’s a small comfort,” Kensi said wryly, smoothing down the last edge of a bandage. The wound look a little better covered, but not much. “I think that’s the best it’s going to get.”

Deeks scrunched his neck to examine her work, briefly running his fingers along the bandage. He nodded once when he was done, dropping his head back down on the couch with a muted thud. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” She watched him shift around in discomfort for several moment. Suddenly it hit her that he could have easily died, and she needed to get out of there before she didn’t something unforgivable. Like cry or faint.

Kensi headed off in the direction of the kitchen, making a beeline for the large sink, where she scrubbed at her hands until the were clean and stung. When she was done, bent low over the sink, breathing deeply several time. It helped just enough to get her emotions and anxiety in check.

Feeling more in control again, Kensi rummaged through the cabinets in search of glasses and pain reliever. Armed with two glasses of water and ibuprofen, she returned to Deeks.

He was flopped bonelessly across the couch, one arm braced over his injured side, the slight movement of his chest assuring her he was just asleep . She set the water and pills on a small table, figuring he needed the rest, and would wake up when he needed them.

She had the ridiculous thought that he looked younger and more innocent this way. Sleep erased the hardened edge, the weight of the fake life he lived in the name of duty.

“You gonna keep staring at me?” he murmured, and she jumped back, bumping into the table.

“I thought you were asleep.”

“Just resting my eyes.” He grasped the back of the couch, straining to pull himself up. Kensi automatically reached out to help him, wrapping and a hand around his bicep and her arm around his waist to support him. He settled back with a labored sigh. Kensi didn’t immediately let go, frowning at how cool his skin felt.

“We need to schedule the meet for tonight or tomorrow at the latest,” he said abruptly.

“You’re kidding.” When he didn’t respond, she released him, crossing her arms. “Deeks, you can’t go out there. Two minutes ago you were bleeding out on the couch.” She pointed to his torso, as though he might have forgotten about it.

“If we don’t now, word will get out that Frankie’s plan didn’t work and he’ll work against us. Or, someone will start putting pieces together when his thugs don’t show up.”

“Won’t it seem suspicious or desperate if we push for a meet so quickly?” she asked, hoping to dissuade him with reason.

“It might,” he agreed. “That’s a risk we’ll have to take. If we don’t, I’m almost certain we’ll lose our chance.”

“Fine, then I’m going with,” Kensi said firmly.

“You don’t have to. It’s almost certainly going to be dangerous. I won’t put that on you.”

“Do you really think I’d let you go meet a bunch of high level drug dealers while you’re in this state?” Deeks raised an eyebrow and her and she glared right back, not giving in. “I’m going with.”

“Ok, then,” Deeks relented with a small grin.

***

A/N: Oh, we have so much happening in this one! Have I mentioned I’m not a doctor?

[ragana62]

What current WIP has you excited?

All of them? I genuinely struggle with writing things when I’m not having fun with it, or making art I don’t like, so as a rule, I generally just don’t. Even WIPs I’ve not updated in months still hold very special places in my heart, and I am excited about them, I’ve just been busy and life has been causing trouble, and I will admit I also struggle to create into the void, so when I feel like I’m the only one excited about something, I lose motivation to keep working on it as much even if I still think it’s neat.

To keep it simple, I’m going to break it down into categories.

One Shot I’m most excited to post when it’s finished: It’s a very late Fictober piece, Just Some Lover. Rhaenys x Corlys, set to Love is a Lazerquest by Arctic Monkeys, post Rook’s Rest in an AU where Rhaenys lives but that isn’t exactly public knowledge right away, so it’s very emotionally driven. I really love most of what I have written for it, I genuinely think parts are some of the best writing I’ve done in a while, and I hope other people like it too when it’s done.

Most excited about that I’ve written something for/made progress on in the past 24 hours: Probably The Coven System. It’s an easy fic to get excited about when working on because it’s just a soap opera, and it gets a lot of engagement, so it’s an easy one to maintain motivation on.

Most excited about that hasn’t been updated in a long time but still holds a deep place in my heart: I Carry Your Heart. Rather ironically, I went to a friend’s wedding a few months after posting the first chapter and their vows were the poem that helped inspire it. In a way, it sort of feels like fate.

Very excited, but also scares me: More Than He Bargained For. I love the story, I have a good idea of where I want to take it, but because it’s a direct follow up to my first fic, and what is still my biggest fic, I feel mildly terrified to update because I have no idea if it can live up to the first one. I still love it though, and I’ve been sitting on a few chapters for it now that I should have posted ages ago, but just haven’t because I’m a little afraid of it.

The chapter I am most excited to see how/if people respond to: Playing Gods from Honor Amongst Beasts. It isn’t the next chapter, I honestly don’t know how many chapters out it is yet, but I can already feel it’s going to be one that people have Thoughts about, and I like how it’s shaping up.

The one I’m excited about but just haven’t been able to crack: I’ve owed a follow up three part to Sisters of Circe since almost this time last year. I can write it, I know what I want to do with it, but it is a very different fic series than most of my others, and like I said, I struggle to create into the void. It would probably be a good one to work on, just to get me back in the habit of writing near pure smut, not to mention all the ritual magic elements I need to refresh on for some of my other WIPs, but it also isn’t one that I would say most of my usual readers are particularly interested in and never got much engagement (and I can admit, it was one of my earlier fics and it isn’t my best writing), so I feel guilty wanting to work on it when I know people are actually waiting for updates on other fics.

[tae-kookie-addict-blog]

My foot on the gas pedal and eyes on the road, I drive through a practically empty highway with pine trees on each side of the road. Clouds fill the blue sky and the sun shines in my direction. I flip down the sun visor to block the sun from glaring in my eyes. I lightly bob my head along to the song "1901" by Phoenix as it plays on the radio. I glance over to my right, looking at Daniel in the passenger's seat. He's been really quiet for like 15 minutes. He's just staring straight ahead out the window and occasionally looking down at his hands in his lap. Something seems to be on his mind. Well, a lot is on my mind too. My eyes return to the road, my thoughts wandering off.

We haven't stepped foot in America since all of the...traumatic incidents that happened 2 years ago. Fleeing to Puerto Lobos, Mexico was our only choice in order for us to stay together. Daniel has been attending a middle school in Puerto Lobos, but because of his lack of Spanish, he hasn't been able to make friends so he feels left out and lonely during school. He hates going there because of it, so he fights me on it every single morning when I have to drive him to school. I've been trying to teach him Spanish every night, but he gets impatient a lot and frustrated at himself that he isn't learning fast enough. Daniel has been missing America, so that's why we're here. But being here again could be dangerous. I think the police have given up on trying to find us or most people have at least forgotten about it, but it still scares me to be back here. If it weren't for Daniel, I wouldn't take this risk. I couldn't handle him crying in bed every night because of how much he misses our grandparents and his friend Chris in America and just being able to speak English to other people again. Living in Puerto Lobos all this time has been tougher than I thought. I don't even want to think about all the things I've been doing in order for us to afford everything. It's been a struggle to even buy food. I know Daniel isn't eating enough. I always hear his stomach growling. It worries me that I won't be able to take care of him at all.

Even though I'm a little scared, it feels great to have a change of pace and take a little road trip with my lil bro. We're in Oregon right now, heading towards Gladstone which shouldn't be too far away by now. I rented a small cabin for us to stay at in a secluded part of the woods. I'm excited, but a little worried at the same time. My bum is so sore and tired of sitting in this seat for hours. Feels like I've been driving forever. Daniel and I had to sleep in the car last night because we can't afford a motel. Gladstone is 24 hours away from Puerto Lobos, so I've been driving for hours since yesterday. Kill me.

“Sean?” Daniel looks at me, his brown eyes full of innocence and sadness. “Will I ever see Chris again? I miss him...”

“I know, enano. You’ll see him again, I know you will.”

“I haven’t seen him in a million years!”

“It’s only been two years, Daniel.”

"Feels like forever ago. I just hope he’s okay... He didn’t respond to my last letter.”

“You’ve been obsessively checking the mailbox until it gave out and broke.” I lightly chuckle, remembering a few days ago when Daniel opened it for the fifth time using his power and the door broke off.

“Why would he not write me back, Sean? Is he...mad at me?”

"Why would he be mad at you?"

"I don't know..." He looks down, fidgeting his fingers like he regrets something. "I told him his drawings of superheroes looked like creepers from Minecraft."

"I'm sure he wouldn't stay mad at you because of that."

"Then why hasn't he replied? Did something bad happen to him?” His concerned eyes stare into mine, waiting for a hopeful answer.

“I’m sure he’s okay. Maybe he’s just been...busy.”

He nods his head, but I can tell he's still worried and not sure what to think.

"Where are we going anyway?"

"Gladstone, Oregon. It seems like a peaceful place to stay for a little vacation. You're the reason we're going on this trip anyway." I reach my hand over, tousling his hair.

"I like living in Puerto Lobos, Sean, because we don't have to run from the cops. But sometimes staying in that old tiny apartment makes me wanna blow it up. Plus, it stinks."

"That's because you don't bathe often enough, cave boy." I tease him.

"You're the one who wears the same clothes for dayssss! It stinks because of you, not me." he retorts, then looks down at his Power Bear action figure in his hands. "He agrees with me. Isn't that right, Power Bear?"

I chuckle, rolling my eyes with a smile.

"Wait! Sean!" he exclaims, sudden excitement filling his voice.

"What?"

"Grandma and grandpa live in Oregon, right?"

"Yeah. And actually, Gladstone is near Beaver Creek where they live."

"Can we please stop by and see them? Pleaseeee, Sean?" he pleads, folding his hands and staring at me with sad, puppy dog eyes.

"Yeah, I guess."

"YEAHHHH!" He excitedly raises his hands in the air while still holding onto his Power Bear action figure. "And I can walk over to Chris's house and finally see him!"

"Yep. But just don't get into any trouble when you're over there, okay?" I ask sternly.

"Okay, okay. I can't wait to play with Chris!" He childishly kicks his feet in excitement and bounces in his seat.

I hear the crinkling sound of a bag and Daniel munching away on the potato chips. His crunching is so loud that it's almost getting on my nerves. I glance over, horrified at the mess he's making.

"Daniel! You’re getting chips all over the car!" I scold, seeing chips everywhere.

"I didn’t mean to."

"Clean it up."

He wipes them off the seat and they drop onto the floor of the car. He flashes a mischievous, almost proud smile at me. I roll my eyes.

"I said to clean it up, not push them off the seat."

"But there's no trash can in here."

"Okay, whatever. We'll clean it when we get to the cabin."

Several quiet minutes pass, listening to the radio and occasionally digging my hand into the bag of chips for a little snack. They're perfectly salted.

"I'm so tired of seeing nothing but boring trees." Daniel complains as he rests his elbow on the side of the car door and rests his chin on his arm, staring out the window with an uninterested look, bored out of his mind.

"We'll be there soon."

"Hey, Sean?" In the corner of my eye, I see him look over at me.

"Yeah?"

"I really miss dad." Sorrow fills his voice. My heart aches.

"I know. Me too."

I turn up the volume of the music to distract myself so I won't cry. I hear Daniel rummaging in my backpack so I look over to see what he's doing. He's holding my worn, brown leather wallet and looking through it.

"Hey, Daniel! Don't steal my stuff!" I reach over to snatch it from him, but he pulls it away so I can't reach it.

"I'm not, I promise! I just want to see dad." He pulls out the small photo of dad that I always keep in my wallet. He stares at it with a heartbroken gaze and his eyes glisten with tears, longing to see him again. I haven't looked at that picture in a long time. He blinks and a teardrop rolls down his long black eyelashes. I close my eyes for a moment, turning my head away. It hurts.

"Daniel," I sigh, annoyed. "Put that back."

"Why?"

"Just put it back."

"No."

"Daniel!" I raise my voice in a scolding tone. "Just put it back! Now!"

"But I just--"

I quickly snatch the photo from him and carelessly drop it into the side pocket that's attached to the car door on my left.

"Not fair!" He pouts, furrowing his eyebrows at me and getting an attitude. "Why can't I just look at dad? I miss him!"

I ignore him, looking out the window and blinking several times, trying so hard to hold back the tears that are begging to escape.

"I just wanna see dad, Sean." he says, but I pretend that I don't even hear him.

I rest my left elbow on the car door and anxiously rub along the side of my face and chin while keeping my other hand on the steering wheel. I fidget with the collar of my dark gray hoodie, just doing whatever I can to distract myself to prevent the tears from coming.

"Let me have the picture, pleaseee?" he whines and unbuckles his seat belt. He leans towards me, holding out both hands as he waits for me to give it back.

"Daniel, stop. Put your seat belt back on."

He lunges over me, getting in the way and blocking my view from the road as he tries to reach for the picture.

"DANIEL, STOP!" I shout, pushing him away. "You can look at it later, but not now! Don't do things like that when I'm driving!"

He grunts, irritated that he's not getting his way. He plops his bum down and slams his back into his seat. He crosses his arms and huffs, sulking like a big baby.

"You're so mean, Sean." he grumbles, pouting.

"Whatever, dude." I scoff.

I glance down, realizing I can visibly see the photo. Dad's face, his voice, his smile, his hugs, his advice... I really miss him so much. I squeeze my eyes shut for a second, refusing to surrender to the tears. I need to stay strong for Daniel. I can't have a breakdown in front of him. His body is turned away from me, staring out the window. I should put the picture somewhere else while he's not paying attention. I grab it and slide it back into my wallet. I toss the wallet into my backpack and zip it up, getting the photo as far away from sight as possible.

I stop at a gas station on the side of the road. It looks shady, but it's the only nearest gas station around. I turn to Daniel, his back still turned away from me and ignoring me. Now I feel kinda bad for yelling at him.

"Hey, Superwolf?" I speak softly, putting my hand on his shoulder and lightly shaking him so he'll look at me.

He doesn't say anything, refusing to even look at me. I should try to cheer him up a bit.

"'Hey, Daniel, you have to be strong like me and answer your big bro.'" I speak in a silly deeper voice as I hold his Power Bear action figure and wiggle it in front of Daniel's face, pretending that it's talking to him. He grabs it from me, not even cracking a little smile.

"Do you hate dad, Sean?" he asks straightforwardly, finally looking at me as his eyes plead for an answer.

"What? No, I don't. Why are you asking that?"

"Because you won't let me look at the photo of him and you always hide it away."

"That's not because I hate him."

"Then why?"

I stay silent, staring into Daniel's deep brown eyes as he waits for me to answer. A lump in my throat, I can't get myself to say anything. Pain sears through my aching heart. Tears slowly fill my eyes and drip down. I quickly look away in the opposite direction, wiping them away with my long sleeve. I get out of the car without saying a word, slamming the door behind me. I lean my back against the side of the car and look up towards the blue sky, a few white fluffy clouds slowly passing by.

"I love and miss you so much, dad." I whisper, my voice cracking as a few more tears roll down my face. "I don't know what I'm doing, dad... Me and Daniel are so alone out here in the world without you. I could really use your advice and encouragement right now."

I close my eyes, feeling the gentle breeze on my face and ruffling through my brown hair. I open my eyes and take a deep breath, trying to regain my composure.

I stand beside my car quietly with my gaze down as I wait for the gas to fill up the car. Fond memories flood my mind of when dad taught me how to drive and how to fill a car with fuel. He kept cracking jokes and made the learning experience fun and memorable. He was always so bright and positive about everything. I wish I would've told him I loved him more. I wish I could still hug him. I hesitantly look up slowly and I spot a police officer. My heart drops. I quickly turn around, my back facing him so he won't recognize me. My heart pounds and my hands tremble as I remove the gas pump nozzle from the fuel filler of my car. I hop into the car and start the engine. We need to get out of here. Fast.

"Hey, Daniel, did the cop notice yo--" I freeze when I look to the passenger's seat.

Oh my god... Where's Daniel?!

----

To Be Continued...

----

A/N: Were you reading this in Sean and Daniel's voices? Because I sure was. Lol XD Please comment and Like my story if you wanna know what happens next! It needs some love. <3

Here’s a link if you wanna read more: https://www.quotev.com/story/15596289/Life-Is-Strange-2-Reunited/1

Story description:

After living in Puerto Lobos for 2 years, brothers Sean and Daniel Diaz take a road trip to America for a change of pace to stay in a relaxing cabin for a few days, but it turns into a nightmare. Something is happening to Daniel and it's causing him to lose control of his telekinesis power, causing havoc and chaos. What will happen when they reunite with their grandparents and old friends? What troubles will they face? Will the brothers ever reach a happy ending?

[sweetswesf]

Hey hey, y’all.

I’m mad Tumblr STILL hasn’t responded to any of my support tickets to get my messaging back. As an engineer, I am criticizing the app in a different way than most lol. There’s a lot of cool things with the UI, but the way you can’t separate primary & secondary blogs, some of the playback, the slow or no responses on support tickets is kinda getting to me. I didn’t think it’d frustrate me this much, but it does…Maybe it was protection…

I made a lot of progress last week. I feel like I am making strides and getting stronger with concepts. I had 2 onsites and a practice technical and I felt I did pretty good in all of them. Rejected from one in less than 24 hours, but that 1 involved a lot of semi negative back & forth with the recruiters for over a month, so I felt the decision was made before I even did the interview.

I was exhausted, but felt like I was detaching from the pain of things and just telling myself get through it. Even in my workouts. My body was tired but it felt like it was moving without my mind. I know it’s only God…I spent less time on social media, I spent less time procrastinating, and I can get through most 12 hour days without needing a nap. I am completely wiped out on my break days (Sundays) and take 4 hour naps then lol but I remember a time during my early months of being laid off where I couldn’t get through the day without a 3 hour nap.

I am about done with the sections of the API YouTube course I want to go over. It is a really good course and it’s at a good level of detail I need. I was familiar with the material, but this was good to solidify understanding of certain concepts. I think I have like one more day left that I’d like to spend on it for prep for my interviews. A lot of things make a lot more sense. I wanted to get past it so that I can focus more on system design and algos, but it was necessary to go over. I’m trying to balance learning quite a bit of topics: system design, APIs, DS&A, OOP, behavioral questions.

For you that have been commenting on my posts encouraging me, especially @mythgrippa-blog & @tenaciousdeveloper, I want to send a particular word of appreciation. Whenever I get a bit discouraged, I remember your comments, so thank you so much.

I even caught a butterfly by its wings! I’ve always wanted to do that, but I don’t think I’ll ever do that again. I won’t forget how surprisingly strong it was wriggling to get free. I quickly released it when I realized I could be hurting it’s wings! I’m sure I did though and the thought makes me sick. I never meant to hurt it. These are sentient beings. There was no need for me to do that. I didn’t realize I would hurt it before I did it. I was on break from an on-site, feeling good, listening to this song, and intrusive thoughts took over.

It flew away fine, but still…I’m sure I damaged the wings just by touching it. I felt a similar guilt when I thought my car would clear and not hit this cat that was laying in the middle of the street. It didn’t and I killed a little collar-less white kitten 😔. This was almost a decade ago. I don’t even own a car anymore but I still think about it & feel guilty.

I took a Cruise autonomous car ride. That was my 3rd time in an autonomous car ride, but 1st one by Cruise. After it, I was inspired. This is the type of things that drew me to tech in the 1st place…

School loans start accruing interest again at the end of this month, and I would like to pay those off. I haven’t looked into deferring my payments because I’m hoping I can pay them off before needing that option. It is humbling to go from having a lot of autonomy with spending to relying on government assistance. Life comes at you fast…I can’t judge anyone. I do, but I shouldn’t and I try not to. I am reminded everyday, with every new experience or challenge, that you truly don’t know what people are facing or what the heck you would do if in a similar scenario. Ideas & history are different from reality.

Pastor at church today said, “You think you have strong faith until something happens that tests it,” and I related hard. I reflect on everything. Sometimes I just sit and stare like, “I’m tired and I’m ready for a different reality.”

My mom comes at the start of September too, and I would like to fully enjoy that with her with my dream job. I will enjoy it regardless though.

I order from DoorDash less, to save money, and also, because there’s not that many options that are healthy, and regardless if the meal is healthy or not, I’ve had it so many times that I’d rather just try to make a replica of my own if I have time. Some things I just can’t replicate, but I do like that I’m empowering myself to have some control over that. I’m often negotiating between saving money and saving time when it comes to this food stuff.

Also, food at this point is one of the only break aways from work that I’m allowing myself to enjoy right now. A LOT of my community has left the city or don’t reach out despite my efforts of trying to maintain the relationship. I don’t want to forge new ones right now, because the emotional and financial investment is… a lot right now. Anytime you want free time outside these days, you end up spending like $50 at minimum! I also feel like I need to find someone to help on Sundays. Sundays are for rest though, and so far, I’ve taken up the whole day washing my hair, going to church, grocery shopping, cooking, eating, napping for 3 or 4 hours, reflecting, and YouTube video watching. I don’t study, I don’t do any chores, and I don’t even like cooking those days. I appreciate my Sundays for what they are for: rest.

A few people close to me asked me again this week if I wanted to keep doing this and I was audibly annoyed. They don’t think I’ve made success in the way I should, but they don’t know much about the industry or how things typically go on this side. They also don’t know my plan. They don’t have to, but it does because it kind of feels they don’t believe in my abilities. I don’t want to be struggling forever, but I don’t think I should give up. I want to do this. I mean, I even get the question a lot in interviews. Like, I transitioned about 3 years ago. Why are you still asking me why I transitioned? You’re wasting time when you could be asking me about my qualifications for this role. I’m sure non-career-transitioners (people with traditional backgrounds) don’t get asked why they chose that field. Does it matter WHY I’ve chosen it if I’ve been gainfully employed in it for years and am applying to keep doing it? It shouldn’t. This question is totally valid outside of interviews. I appreciate answering it then. It just feels invasive when asked in interviews. I could see if I was fresh out of my old career, but I’ve been working as a full time software engineer for more than 3. It almost feels like, “well duh!” at this point when it comes to choosing tech. Look around you. Why not?! EVERY industry damn there has been elevated and can’t survive without tech. It’s really hard to cover your basic needs and a lot people on a 6-figure salary are living paycheck to paycheck given how outrageous rent is. At least tech gives you a fighting chance. Look at me! A tech worker still with debt who’s now had to rely on government assistance…It feels similar to interviewers asking why I majored in something. It doesn’t matter at all when you should be looking at the work I’ve done for money.

It was recommended, and I agreed, that I should stop interviewing with startups and start interviewing with companies I would like to work at, so I’m doing that soon. I feel a bit impatient and when I do, I try to refocus and remind myself that I shouldn’t give up and potentially blow the progress made thus far (another word of encouragement from y’all reading, so thank you!). I just need to keep going, stop feeling rushed, be fearless, be strategic, have confidence, and know that God will give me something great in due time that’s fit for me that exceeds my expectations.

I’m grateful for vision, dexterity, my mental health, my education, having hot water, still being able to afford a gym membership and to never go hungry. To spend on organic groceries. I also still have quite a bit of savings. I didn’t realize but my high yield savings account has been kicking me back about the amount of a week’s worth of meals & groceries every month. Praise God. I also am still able to tithe and be generous to people who need help during this time.

The things that I wanted months and even weeks ago, like purses, shoes, etc. all seem so frivolous now. Thousands on these things? I’ve never spent that much on purses & shoes. I’ve never been that girl, but I HAVE bought a lot of excess before, or bought things, albeit cheap, that I thought I would use one day. I even imagined that once I get a job, I would treat myself on one of those $1k+ purses, just because I’m a 30 and never have bought anything designer. Now, I don’t even care about taking a vacation. I just want to wake up employed. I WILL take a vacation, but I don’t mind just visiting something local. I miss NYC like crazy! I’ve always wanted to visit Atlanta (my 1st visit was at night and was too short, I had to drive back to Nashville in the morning). Those purses and shoes are still NICE but, I don’t HAVE to have them like I once felt…Imma still treat myself, but the treats won’t be as extravagant/often/out of my honest price range.

Fashion blogs seem so DUMB to me now. The THOUSANDS people will pay and still be in debt or not own any assets seems CRAZY now. But it took this to open my eyes. I’ve been unemployed before when I was fresh out of bootcamp, and I went into super frugal mode, and promised myself to maintain those habits. I did a lot, but still made dumb decisions after I got employed again. Freeing myself from want this time around, I hope it sticks.

There were days this week where I woke up wanting to contact a particular dude from my past. Just thirsty and lonely and craving a hug. I kept saying, “I just want a hug.” It’s really just me. Day in & day out. Friends & family only call. Everyone close to me I have to talk to virtually through a screen/over the phone. It gets to me…someone will love me hard and give me the affection I crave one day. I need to rely on God’s love though and remember not to put too much dependence on people, but it’s okay to want a partner. God honors marriage and says a spouse is to supply the other’s needs for affection. Not one way: this is for both partners.

I’m grateful for everything this time has taught me and I don’t know if I would have learned it without this. I shun fear of not getting what I want. I refuse to believe that my efforts will go unrewarded. I chase away the devil that made me believe I was less than. In the meeting with my mentor last week, he said, “I’m going to be candid: the team did NOT like that you were let go. We all felt that you had made so much progress and we actually had a rant session about it.” That almost made me cry, because I felt like the weakest link on the team at that time, but to know that people respected my work and felt like great things were coming for me, confirmed my suspicions too that I KNEW things were looking up. I had finally felt comfortable, and then it felt like my progress was stopped. But I know, and I knew even when I got laid off, even without my next position, it wasn’t a mistake. God tends to shift things when you’re feeling comfortable. He’s trying to elevate me. I will be in a higher position my next role, potentially making more than double what I was. More than what I could have gotten if I stayed. I don’t fear getting let go as much anymore because I know how to do these algos, or, I know where I can go to refresh my understandings of them. I lived in fear before this and couldn’t truly enjoy anything because I knew there was a huge hole in my understanding of things in the interview & my career that I felt I didn’t have the time to learn. Nothing is by mistake and I’m grateful to Him. Amen!

I hope y’all are well too. Be blessed <3

[nickgerlich]

Get Ready To Shop

It’s fun to think back to the 80s. While it seems like they weren’t that long ago, we must sober up and realize that was—um—40 years ago, depending on which year you’re recalling. Those were good years for me. I earned a BA, MBA, and PhD, and started my job at WT. Oh, and got married the first time. OK, four out of five ain’t bad.



It was the time of hair bands, women in colorful leotards and cozy leg warmers, and Ronald Reagan. Actually, if you could mash up all of them into one, it would be pretty funny. And it was also the decade that televised home shopping clubs took root, thanks to the prevalence of cable TV.



Home Shopping Club (later Home Shopping Network, or HSN) was founded in 1982, and four years later, QVC (Quality Value Convenience) came along to compete. They’re both still in existence today, although the company that owns QVC now also owns HSN. It’s an alphabet soup, but the premise is the same: nonstop 24/7 live selling.



While these started out primarily as liquidators, they quickly grew into a variety of categories, especially clothing and accessories sought by women. Fashion designers jumped on board, drooling at the prospects of a sales platform that could stretch as long as the company wanted. Create excitement, show a quantity available countdown clock, and voilá! The phones were ringing off the hook as folks called in (remember, this was pre-internet!).

To be honest, I think those original stations preyed upon lonely old women. My mother was one of them. She bought a lot of worthless junk from them, but at the same time, they provided entertainment. For the life of me, I cannot understand how having someone sell to you nonstop is entertaining, but it was.

I never tuned in to those stations on my own, but would be subjected to them whenever we visited Florida. And now that both are gone, I haven’t even given a passing thought to them. Well, until right now, when I discovered that livestream shopping may be the new rage, and outlets like Amazon, TikTok, and YouTube are actually banking on them.

It’s a new spin on an old idea, and looks and feels a lot different from the 24/7 onslaught on cable. This time around the people doing the selling are influencers, and they call the shots for when they go live. And among the three platforms duking it out for prominence, only Amazon can actually stock the inventory and make for seamless transactions.

All of which means that, if you are a fan and potential customer of someone you follow, you better be ready to go shopping whenever they pull the trigger. In some regards, this now sounds like BeReal, in which users have no control over when they are called to action.

Perhaps the most ironic aspect of livestream shopping is that it became a “thing” in China a few years ago, especially during the pandemic. And while Amazon found it could not export its ways to China, the opposite may very well prove to be true here. Looks like another weather balloon to me.

Personally, I’m just not that much of a shopper. I tend to be very purposive, having done my homework for a long time on pricey objects, saving my money, and waiting out the periodic sales. I do not, however, respond well to someone barking out orders and telling me to get on this.

But then again, it may very well work stateside, where I suspect the demographics will trend sharply toward Gen-Z, and, depending on the product categories, probably more female than male. I cannot speak for all of the people of my gender, but I’ve got too many things going on during my waking hours to even consider being on-call for a sale. That’s me, though. YMMV. And to be fair, I can’t picture many women beyond their 20s—working, with children, bills to pay, spouses or partners—yeah, this may be a non-starter with them as well.



Thankfully, online shopping and app usage is lowest among seniors, so people like my mother are probably not in the new target market. Otherwise, we might see history repeating itself.

Just leave the bad clothing in your closet.

Dr “Hard Pass“ Gerlich

Audio Blog

[sunaleisocial]

One of MIT’s best-kept secrets lives in the Institute’s basement

New Post has been published on https://sunalei.org/news/one-of-mits-best-kept-secrets-lives-in-the-institutes-basement/

One of MIT’s best-kept secrets lives in the Institute’s basement

When MIT’s Walker Memorial (Building 50) was constructed in 1916, it was among the first buildings located on the Institute’s then-new Cambridge campus. At the time, national headlines would have heralded Gideon Sundback’s invention of the modern zipper, the first transcontinental phone call by Alexander Graham Bell, and Charles Fahbry’s discovery of the ozone layer. It would be another 12 years before the invention of sliced bread, and, importantly, four years before the first U.S.-licensed commercial radio station would go on the air.    

In true MIT fashion, the past, present, and future of Building 50 seem to coexist within its hallways. Today, the basement of Walker Memorial is home to what some students consider to be one of the Institute’s best-kept secrets — something that likely never crossed the minds of its original architects: a 24-hour, high-fidelity radio station. 

Operating under the call sign WMBR 88.1 FM (for “Walker Memorial Basement Radio”), this all-volunteer troupe has endured many hurdles similar to those faced by others in the field as radio itself has largely changed over the years. But as general managers James Rock and Maggie Lin will tell you, there’s something special about this station’s ability to build deeper connections within the larger community.

“Students have the opportunity to get to know a bunch of our community members,” explains Rock. “Our tech director works closely with every student who wants to contribute, which involves anything from manning a drill to climbing to the roof of Walker and manually bending the antenna back into shape, which I did a couple of weeks ago,” laughs Rock. “Most of our student members are trained by someone who’s been around and really knows what they’re doing with radio after decades of experience.”

“It’s really fun,” says Lin. “It’s being able to hang out with people who love music just as much as you do. The older members of the station are such a cool resource for talking about different kinds of music.”

Now sophomores, Rock and Lin first arrived at MIT and WMBR two years ago. At the time, the station was mitigating the effects of the Covid-19 pandemic, during which WMBR went off the air temporarily. “We’ve been general managers since last spring, so the majority of our time at the station has been managing the station,” explains Lin. “We just came at a time when the station didn’t have many student members because of Covid.”

Lin recalls stories from disc jockeys who were at the station the night in 2020 when WMBR went off the air: “I’m told it was extremely sudden. There was someone here who said they finished their show and left a tote bag of records for the next time they were going to come back, and they left … and they still haven’t [returned].” 

However, resilience is a trait that WMBR has displayed in abundance throughout its storied 80-year history. First signing on as WMIT on Nov. 25, 1946, the station’s original equipment was built from the ground up by MIT electrical engineering students. In 1956, when the station’s call letters were licensed to a radio station in North Carolina, the Cambridge-based station became WTBS. And when the station was in dire need of cash for new equipment in the 1970s, its members found a creative solution: an agreement with media mogul Ted Turner to exchange the call letters WTBS for $50,000. This afforded the station the new equipment it dearly needed and allowed Turner to launch the Turner Broadcasting System. The station subsequently became WMBR on Nov. 10, 1979.          

So it’s no surprise how station members responded to the challenges posed by Covid. ���The tech team pulled off something kind of crazy when they set that up,” says Lin. “Within weeks, they set up a system where people could upload files of shows they recorded from home, and then it would be broadcast live.”

“Sticking to the hybrid system means that especially new members have the flexibility to start out recording from home,” adds Rock. “That’s what Maggie and I did. It means if you’re scared, a little jumpy, or stutter as you speak, you can go back and edit.”

The station also expanded its slate of new content in the years following the pandemic. “I think the most lasting effect of Covid is that we are now 24/7,” says Rock. “Most of the time it’s fresh material now. The spring schedule is guaranteed fresh material from 6 a.m. to 2 a.m.”

“It’s a packed schedule,” adds Lin.

Considering the sheer amount of original programming now airing on WMBR, it would be easy to assume the station relies heavily on ad revenue to keep the lights on. But, thanks to one fundraising week held each November, the station keeps pumping out music and spoken-word shows such as “Music for Eels,” “Post-Tentious,” and “Crunchy Plastic Dinosaurs.”

“And operating an FM radio station is not cheap,” says Rock, “maintaining the antennas and buying new tech equipment, getting music, paying licensing fees, and ordering pizza to keep the students on board because the DJs have to be happy, etc. So it’s a real privilege that we are able to operate on that listener funding from that one week each year.”

“It’s kind of crazy, because when you’re broadcasting, it’s to Greater Boston, but you really don’t know how many people are listening,” adds Lin. “And I think it’s really awesome when you see fundraising week. It’s like, ‘Yeah, people really do listen.’” 

“And if a donor chooses to pledge to a show, generally the DJs will mail a postcard back as thanks for that donation. So, if you want a signature of Maggie’s or mine, support us in November!” laughs Rock. “Limiting [fundraising] to one week means that we never advertise, so as long as we keep that contained to one-52nd of the year, the rest of the time you just get the music and the DJ’s commentary you tuned in for. There’s no solicitation.”

In many ways, this highlights the paradox of WMBR: reconciling its undeniable audience of loyal listeners and passionate community members with the fact that many MIT students and employees have never heard of WMBR.

“I think a lot of people just don’t quite know that the radio station is something that exists,” explains Lin. “I understand it’s because people our age don’t really listen to radio much anymore, but I think the space is so amazing. A lot of the new students that we bring in are pretty awed by it, especially the record library; with hundreds of thousands of records and CDs, and the studios,” says Lin, referencing the station’s impressive collection of music, which fills a space so large that it once held a bowling alley. “It’s an opportunity that is kind of easy to miss out on. So I feel like we’re bringing in new members — which I’m really happy about — but I just want people to know that WMBR is here, and it’s really cool.”

“Yes. I second that,” says Rock. “MIT is so full of opportunities and resources that you can’t possibly take advantage of all of them, but we are hidden here in the basement of Walker Memorial where students don’t really make it [to] that often.”

“Listeners don’t even know,” laughs Lin. “We had someone pass by the door once, and they were like, ‘The radio station? It’s here?’”

“I didn’t know there was a campus radio station, and I frankly hadn’t really thought of campus radio until I walked into Activities Midway during my first CPW [Campus Preview Weekend], and maybe orientation,” adds Rock. “One of the great things about it is that you can share your own music tastes with all of greater Boston. You have the aux cord for an hour every week, and it’s such a privilege.”

“It’s kind of scary-sounding to think, ‘You’re going to go sit behind a microphone and all of Greater Boston will hear you,’” adds Lin. “But James is always full of confidence, so I just thought, ‘What if we did a show together?’ That’s another thing that we like as we get new students in: people who want to co-host shows together.” 

“We are always looking for new student members,” says Rock. “Whether you want to do a radio show, podcast, help with maintaining and upgrading our broadcast equipment, or gain valuable experience helping to manage and lead a nonprofit organization that is an eclectic mix of MIT students, staff, and members of the local community, let us know!”

Walker Memorial Basement Radio (WMBR) is currently on the air and streaming 24/7. Listen online here, or tune your dial to 88.1 FM. To find out more about joining WMBR, send a message to membership@wmbr.org.

[jcmarchi]

One of MIT’s best-kept secrets lives in the Institute’s basement

New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/one-of-mits-best-kept-secrets-lives-in-the-institutes-basement/

One of MIT’s best-kept secrets lives in the Institute’s basement

When MIT’s Walker Memorial (Building 50) was constructed in 1916, it was among the first buildings located on the Institute’s then-new Cambridge campus. At the time, national headlines would have heralded Gideon Sundback’s invention of the modern zipper, the first transcontinental phone call by Alexander Graham Bell, and Charles Fahbry’s discovery of the ozone layer. It would be another 12 years before the invention of sliced bread, and, importantly, four years before the first U.S.-licensed commercial radio station would go on the air.    

In true MIT fashion, the past, present, and future of Building 50 seem to coexist within its hallways. Today, the basement of Walker Memorial is home to what some students consider to be one of the Institute’s best-kept secrets — something that likely never crossed the minds of its original architects: a 24-hour, high-fidelity radio station. 

Operating under the call sign WMBR 88.1 FM (for “Walker Memorial Basement Radio”), this all-volunteer troupe has endured many hurdles similar to those faced by others in the field as radio itself has largely changed over the years. But as general managers James Rock and Maggie Lin will tell you, there’s something special about this station’s ability to build deeper connections within the larger community.

“Students have the opportunity to get to know a bunch of our community members,” explains Rock. “Our tech director works closely with every student who wants to contribute, which involves anything from manning a drill to climbing to the roof of Walker and manually bending the antenna back into shape, which I did a couple of weeks ago,” laughs Rock. “Most of our student members are trained by someone who’s been around and really knows what they’re doing with radio after decades of experience.”

“It’s really fun,” says Lin. “It’s being able to hang out with people who love music just as much as you do. The older members of the station are such a cool resource for talking about different kinds of music.”

Now sophomores, Rock and Lin first arrived at MIT and WMBR two years ago. At the time, the station was mitigating the effects of the Covid-19 pandemic, during which WMBR went off the air temporarily. “We’ve been general managers since last spring, so the majority of our time at the station has been managing the station,” explains Lin. “We just came at a time when the station didn’t have many student members because of Covid.”

Lin recalls stories from disc jockeys who were at the station the night in 2020 when WMBR went off the air: “I’m told it was extremely sudden. There was someone here who said they finished their show and left a tote bag of records for the next time they were going to come back, and they left … and they still haven’t [returned].” 

However, resilience is a trait that WMBR has displayed in abundance throughout its storied 80-year history. First signing on as WMIT on Nov. 25, 1946, the station’s original equipment was built from the ground up by MIT electrical engineering students. In 1956, when the station’s call letters were licensed to a radio station in North Carolina, the Cambridge-based station became WTBS. And when the station was in dire need of cash for new equipment in the 1970s, its members found a creative solution: an agreement with media mogul Ted Turner to exchange the call letters WTBS for $50,000. This afforded the station the new equipment it dearly needed and allowed Turner to launch the Turner Broadcasting System. The station subsequently became WMBR on Nov. 10, 1979.          

So it’s no surprise how station members responded to the challenges posed by Covid. “The tech team pulled off something kind of crazy when they set that up,” says Lin. “Within weeks, they set up a system where people could upload files of shows they recorded from home, and then it would be broadcast live.”

“Sticking to the hybrid system means that especially new members have the flexibility to start out recording from home,” adds Rock. “That’s what Maggie and I did. It means if you’re scared, a little jumpy, or stutter as you speak, you can go back and edit.”

The station also expanded its slate of new content in the years following the pandemic. “I think the most lasting effect of Covid is that we are now 24/7,” says Rock. “Most of the time it’s fresh material now. The spring schedule is guaranteed fresh material from 6 a.m. to 2 a.m.”

“It’s a packed schedule,” adds Lin.

Considering the sheer amount of original programming now airing on WMBR, it would be easy to assume the station relies heavily on ad revenue to keep the lights on. But, thanks to one fundraising week held each November, the station keeps pumping out music and spoken-word shows such as “Music for Eels,” “Post-Tentious,” and “Crunchy Plastic Dinosaurs.”

“And operating an FM radio station is not cheap,” says Rock, “maintaining the antennas and buying new tech equipment, getting music, paying licensing fees, and ordering pizza to keep the students on board because the DJs have to be happy, etc. So it’s a real privilege that we are able to operate on that listener funding from that one week each year.”

“It’s kind of crazy, because when you’re broadcasting, it’s to Greater Boston, but you really don’t know how many people are listening,” adds Lin. “And I think it’s really awesome when you see fundraising week. It’s like, ‘Yeah, people really do listen.’” 

“And if a donor chooses to pledge to a show, generally the DJs will mail a postcard back as thanks for that donation. So, if you want a signature of Maggie’s or mine, support us in November!” laughs Rock. “Limiting [fundraising] to one week means that we never advertise, so as long as we keep that contained to one-52nd of the year, the rest of the time you just get the music and the DJ’s commentary you tuned in for. There’s no solicitation.”

In many ways, this highlights the paradox of WMBR: reconciling its undeniable audience of loyal listeners and passionate community members with the fact that many MIT students and employees have never heard of WMBR.

“I think a lot of people just don’t quite know that the radio station is something that exists,” explains Lin. “I understand it’s because people our age don’t really listen to radio much anymore, but I think the space is so amazing. A lot of the new students that we bring in are pretty awed by it, especially the record library; with hundreds of thousands of records and CDs, and the studios,” says Lin, referencing the station’s impressive collection of music, which fills a space so large that it once held a bowling alley. “It’s an opportunity that is kind of easy to miss out on. So I feel like we’re bringing in new members — which I’m really happy about — but I just want people to know that WMBR is here, and it’s really cool.”

“Yes. I second that,” says Rock. “MIT is so full of opportunities and resources that you can’t possibly take advantage of all of them, but we are hidden here in the basement of Walker Memorial where students don’t really make it [to] that often.”

“Listeners don’t even know,” laughs Lin. “We had someone pass by the door once, and they were like, ‘The radio station? It’s here?’”

“I didn’t know there was a campus radio station, and I frankly hadn’t really thought of campus radio until I walked into Activities Midway during my first CPW [Campus Preview Weekend], and maybe orientation,” adds Rock. “One of the great things about it is that you can share your own music tastes with all of greater Boston. You have the aux cord for an hour every week, and it’s such a privilege.”

“It’s kind of scary-sounding to think, ‘You’re going to go sit behind a microphone and all of Greater Boston will hear you,’” adds Lin. “But James is always full of confidence, so I just thought, ‘What if we did a show together?’ That’s another thing that we like as we get new students in: people who want to co-host shows together.” 

“We are always looking for new student members,” says Rock. “Whether you want to do a radio show, podcast, help with maintaining and upgrading our broadcast equipment, or gain valuable experience helping to manage and lead a nonprofit organization that is an eclectic mix of MIT students, staff, and members of the local community, let us know!”

Walker Memorial Basement Radio (WMBR) is currently on the air and streaming 24/7. Listen online here, or tune your dial to 88.1 FM. To find out more about joining WMBR, send a message to membership@wmbr.org.

[luvrrgirl444]

chapter 2: number 6

IRL, INSTAGRAM!

it was now saturday, and you, your best friend, genesis and your parents were almost at the football stadium. the game started at 2 pm, and the titans stadium was about 3 hours from your neighborhood, so you guys had left the house at 10:30 am. you and gen had slept for a while, and then woke up and did your makeup in the car.

your older brother, kade, was a freshman in university. he was a star player in high school, and had been scouted by one of the top university football teams in the country, the trost titans. he was a quarterback, and had been playing football since you were little kids.

the drive was long. after hours, your mom finally arrived and parked the car in the stadium’s parking lot. “finally.” you sighed, making genesis giggle and nod her head. “are you girls ready?” your mother asked. “yes,” you both answered and finally left the car seats and stretched.

you four soon made your way to the stadium’s entrance. the stadium was packed with people. most were clad in red or black, making it known that they were rooting for the titans. there were others wearing yellow, representing the marley commanders.

“i’m excited!” your mother exclaimed, to which your dad agreed. “we haven’t seen kade play since high school.”

“dad, you’re acting as if he was in high school 10 years ago.” he rolled his eyes. sassy. “it felt like it.” he then took out his phone to call kade, to let him know that you guys had arrived to the stadium.

a few minutes later, your brother ran over and hugged everyone, including genesis. you and genesis had been attached to the hip since you met in first grade. genesis was considered apart of the l/n family, and kade viewed her as an annoying younger sister, just like you.

“hey man, you ready?” your dad questioned, patting his son’s back. he smiled. “game starts in 15 minutes, i gotta be.” your mother held his face in her hands and smiled. “my baby, you’re gonna do great!” she exclaimed, confident that her son was gonna succeed. “thank you, ma.”

“yo, kd, coach called you!” one of his teammates shouted. “ight! i’m coming!” he responded. he looked at his family and grinned. “imma make ya’ll proud!” he said, giving you, mom and genesis a kiss on the cheek, and one last hug to dad, before he left. “okay! let’s go find our seats!”

the game had been going on for a while, and it was now the ending of the fourth quarter. the titans had 17 points, while the commanders had 7. they were leading by 10. the titans, and kade were doing amazing, but the job was not done. there was still 6 minutes left in the game.

your brother, along with another guy, number 6, on the titans had scored 12 of those 17 points, getting two touchdowns together. they were clearly a dynamic duo, and were doing extremely well together, along with the rest of the team.

“kade and that number 6 are amazing together.” your dad said, and your mom nodded.

the game had ended, and kade and number 6 had scored another touchdown. the final score was 24-7. kade had kept his promise, his performance making your parents, along with you proud. you and your family had gone down near the field to congratulate him on his win. he was doing an interview before he spotted you guys, smiled and made his way over.

“you did amazing out there!” your mom told him, and kissed him on the cheek. your dad nodded along, “we’re so proud of you, kay.” he ruffled his curls. he then opened his arms for you and genesis and asked, “what about ya’ll? where’s my congratulations?” you both rolled your eyes but gave him a hug and congratulated him. “you were actually insane out there!” genesis said.

kade looked back to his teammates and their families and beckoned one of them over. “yo, jay! come here!” it was number 6. as he walked over without his helmet on, you and genesis looked at each other. he was fine. he had fluffy brown hair, which was a little damp from the sweat that had accumulated during the game. his eyes were brown, with smudged eye black underneath and a sharp jawline.

“mom, dad, this is jean,” kade ruffled his hair, and jean smacked his hand. “he’s my number one receiver, and my roommate.” jean smiled at your parents. “nice to meet you, your son has gotta be the best quarterback i’ve ever played with.”

your parents grinned. “jean, you were incredible!” your mom complemented, which made the brunette smile, displaying his pearly white teeth. “thank you, mrs. l/n!” he continued talking to your parents, before kade brought him over to you and gen, who were whispering about him.

“genesis. y/n. this is jean, my teammate.” kade introduced. “jean. these are my sisters.” jean made eye contact with you and grinned. his smile was gorgeous. you almost folded right there and then.

“hey, jean. congrats on the win! you guys were great out there!” you smiled back at him. “thank you, y/n.” he winked. genesis nudged you with her elbow and mouthed ‘oh my god’.

“so you guys gonna celebrate the big win?” your best friend asked. jean nodded. “yeah. one of our buddies is having a party later.” he gestured to one of his teammates. “my guy eren throws the best parties, i swear.”

“yo, you two should come!”

“hell yeah!” genesis exclaimed, the same time as kade said “hell nah.”

🎡!

- the longest chapter i’ve ever written oml

- they met!!

- kade & jean being an iconic wr and qb duo >>>

taglist! <3 @alittleilliterate @invisible-mori

[blondrichclosetwitch]

NR 39 september 15, 2017

(a tape to in-the-flesh Jakk. the clamor of outside is her soundtrack) 

Hi Jakk

Do you remember when we were meeting for our anniversary..we were outside of the bike shop, and i was upset …..i..got…I  got upset.

 And i threw..that water bottle? At the tree? And i grabbed..i know you remember this, i mean, i imagine you do. And i grabbed the leaves..i tore the leaves off the tree. And you yelled at me? (corrects herself)  You didn’t yell at me. You told me to pick up the leaves. 

Because i hurt the tree? Remember what i’m talking about? I referenced it a couple months ago, to you. 

It was a moment– as you know by now– affected me deeply, of course….because now….now i care. About..all living creatures. Whether they’re humans or animals, or plants…trees..flowers. 

I still have those leaves, though they’re old and quasi-crumpled. And burned.   Cause they got burned by some incense one day. 

 Well, i’m really ..wondering..how you respond to the fact that ..i put up a video of these beautiful flowers, floating in the wind, because i knew they weren’t going to be there forever..because i’m aware of the cycle of life, and within 24 hours..

First, two of them were pressed to death,...and then all four of them were *yanked* off..their vine. By your wife. Or one of her nasty..creons. 

You used to stand for something, to me. And please be sure that i am not going to take this lying down. 

She knows what that did to me. She knows how i feel about flowers. 

She knows what every mark on the tree has done.

She knows what the amaryllis did to me.

She knows every single fucking thing she has done to me. She knows she’s been cyber-stalking me. She knows that she set up….(angry) a profile on Tagged where they buy and sell people as *pets*. 

It took me 72 hours to get it deactivated and cancelled. 

She’s a sociopath, just like the guy said. 

And God knows what she’ll try next. God knows. 

But i will tell you one thing. I am not going to be quiet. Just because you haven’t stood up for me, just because you have your..your tail between your legs, and are acting like, or she has you convinced that nothing has happened…whatever the case may be. 

She is a fucking crazy-ass psycho-sociopath. And everyone knows it. 

(end of tape) 

The post September 15, 2017

(a tape to the analyst) 

Hi jamieson.

I’m sitting on my bed. Um,......tired. I have to make 3k in less than 2 weeks. Hopefully i can do it. So far i have 700. Have to do it. It’s important. 

My friend Colbe helped me finally get off of that website. And i’ve been changing my password everywhere.  Again. And..i hadn’t posted on instagram in like 2 weeks, and..the other day i had taken footage of these beautiful flowers moving in the breeze that were just like so..beautiful to me. And you can hear me saying “i have to catch this, because they’re not going to be here forever. Soon they’ll be gone” and i posted it. It was only like 40 seconds or something. 

But it’s like these flowers that really meant something to me. I pass them in Jackson Square with Katie, and I was so,,kind of in love with them. This certain group. These four. 

I’m sure you know where this is going. 

And then i ended up finding this poem about a garden, called 12th House Affliction. 

I came back…i passed them, and they were fine. On wednesday, after i posted it. They were fine. And then i came back less than 12 hours later…and two of them had had the life *squeezed* out of them. 

And i made a mention of it on my insta. And when i walked back to the train…like 6 hours later..all four of them were gone. They were yanked off the vine. Just completely, gone. 

This is Jackson Square. This isn’t Brooklyn. This is Jackson Square,  in Manhattan. 

I…you know this comes back to the amaryllis. Cause she knows what that did to me. She knew what she was creating.

And how every time the bloom died, my heart died. 

And how, with the branches breaking. How it destroyed me. And when those flowers got hurt…there was nothing in my post, it had nothing to do with her or Jakk. 

NOTHING.

That was a violent attack against me, to hurt me.

 There were other flowers there, but it was *those flowers*, those flowers, that i took video of. 

Jamieson we are dealing with a fucking sociopath here. And i have to fight back. I have to. 

This isn’t turn the other cheek. It’s not. This is…this is where i bring out the amaryllis. This is where i start talking. Because this shit is fucked up. 

I don’t know anyone beyond that woman, but i know that that woman is involved, and i know that this shit is beyond deranged. 

And that she should be brought to court.  

(end of tape)

[yeetthedragon]

sick, tag game! thanks for the tag :D

1. Are you named after anyone? not that i know of

2. When was the last time you cried? i don’t know if this is really the last time but it was a couple weeks ago when my mom and i watched Steel Magnolias. i hadn’t seen it before and she warned me it would be sad. it was

3. Do you have kids? ew no. people keep telling me i’ll change my mind when i’m older but like. i grew up as the oldest of four siblings. i’m okay. and with the state of the world today i will not be planning on raising a child. plus i don’t think i’d be a good parent

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? yes. maybe too much but it’s fine

5. What sports do you play/have you played? i was on a competitive swim team for about thirteen years, but i quit cause it just wasn’t for me anymore. i did basketball for a season when i was younger, hated that. i did volleyball for awhile and really enjoyed that. idk why i quit. i think it was because i didn’t want to be on my high school team, or that i didn’t think i was good enough

6. What’s the first thing you notice about people? idk lol. probably how they present themselves. like what they’re wearing, how their hair looks, if they’re wearing makeup, if they have piercings or tattoos. basic answer but there ya go

7. What’s your eye color? depending on the lighting its either blue or grey. but it’s blue. fun fact i have a little freckle in one of my irises and i only found that out when i took a close up picture of my eye with sunlight shining into it cause i wanted to see the color. i still have the picture if anyone’s curious

8. Scary movies or happy endings? i’m a horror enthusiast 100%. love me a good horror movie. especially the ones with a good mind-fuck that screws you over for the next 24 hours. i have so many recommendations

9. Any special talents? i can sing. not to brag (ok maybe a little) i made the state choir my senior year. also i can reach that spot that no one seems to be able to scratch. idk how to describe it

10. Where were you born? california. i do not live there anymore

11. What are your hobbies? i’m an avid music listener. i love music. i love writing, i’ve had a project i’ve been working on for over four years. it’s also what i’m going to college for. normally i’d say i also watch shows but honestly i haven’t seen anything new since november. it’s july. movies don’t count, i’ve seen a few new movies since november lmao. also i’ve been learning german but i haven’t been working on it much. oh i also make knitted bracelets. i have way too many. i haven’t done that in awhile either. i play minecraft, and a few other games occasionally. i want to learn how to crochet

12. Do you have pets? my youngest sister has a fish that lives in the room we share, but he’s not my fish. i do wanna get a hedgehog someday. or a cat

13. How tall are you? 5’3

14. Favorite subject in school? i’ve loved choir since before i can remember

15. Dream job? i’d love to be an actor or a professional singer, but i don’t know how to get into either profession, which is a huge bummer. it would be so fun. right now though i hope to be an author. it’s probably the easiest job i hope to do. and i’ve wanted to do it for years now

thanks again for the tag! no pressure to respond but ima tag @byler-solo @crying-in-converse @goiwantamuffin @seatedbythescimitar @veeonii @toomanyfandomsstuff @shipsgaysfordays

15 Questions 15 Mutuals

Tagged by @emozionidinchiostro ages ago

1. Are you named after anyone? My dad wanted to give me his little sister's name as a middle name, and I did have it on some early pediatric reports when I was a baby, but it's not on any actual official document, so technically I do not have a middle name, even though my parents convinced me I did. I mentioned my unofficial middle name to some friends at school when I was around 12 or something, and it became my nickname forever. Everyone called me that. The friends I've kept in touch from back then still call me that. Even my mom has me saved under that name on her phone. But it's, like, only 3 people now. // tl;dr: kinda.

2. When was the last time you cried? I can't remember to be honest. This might come as a surprise to you guys but I'm not a big crier. I'm just sad and whiny.

3. Do you have kids? No and I don't want any.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? I don't think so?

5. What sports do you play/have played? NONE, I suck at sports and have always hated playing them. I mean, I've tried a few but never for any significant amount of time.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people? Whether they're nice/friendly, I guess. If someone is kind to me I will fall in love with them. I love kind people.

7. What's your eye color? Dark brown. I-almost-can't-make-out-your-pupil kind of brown.

8. Scary movies or happy endings? Neither? Happy endings if I have to choose, but I like drama. (I mean, comedy too, big fan. But sometimes you just want to watch a film that makes you think about the human condition and despair, you know?)

9. Any special talents? Misplacing things. Forgetting about events in the recent past. Petting cats.

10. Where were you born? Italy.

11. What are your hobbies? Not doing a lot these days to be honest :( Fannish activities (fanfic writing and the like). I'm in a funky pop-rock choir which I attend semi-regularly. I have attempted to learn Spanish at various points in my life and failed miserably, not always for reasons within my control (I enrolled on a Spanish course organised by the local library a while ago, and the teacher quit after my first term. He had been there for years. But I think the main issue is that after studying Russian for 5 years at uni, I look at Spanish and think, "surely it won't be that hard". And then I just... don't study it. I think I can learn it by osmosis or something, just by virtue of being Italian. Which doesn't fucking work).

12. Do you have pets? Not currently. I had a cat. I shall have one again some day.

13. How tall are you? About 168 cm.

14. Favorite subject in school? Italian Lit always, and in later years (high school) Latin and English Lit. At uni — I think English phonetics & phonology, weirdly enough; also pragmatics and anything related to sociolinguistics.

15. Dream job? Something to do with creative writing, in an ideal world. Or even "just writing", but not the kind that makes me want to kms (don't ask). Copywriter or radio scriptwriter both sound cool.

No pressure tagging: @nevergonnasaygoodbi @sapphicdragonlord @ayebydan @marki9 @yeetthedragon @valsansretovr @groundbreakingdot872 @vi-visected @crunchy-soup222 @fuckyeahsnackables

(ETA: sorry it's not 15 people and it's not even all mutuals, which I think was the point of the game, but *turns around and starts running away*)