#and that the duffers are going to hurt me

[wibble-wobbegong]

sometimes i get the flashbang urge to analyze for like five minutes and then i open my wip notes for the book of henry and wish i’d never watched that fucking movie.

[ladykailitha]

The Harrington Pattern Part 1

Hey, guys! Sorry I'm late uploading today, but I went to bed early last night and forgot to schedule this.

Oops!

But! Welcome to what I've been calling Steve is a History Nerd agenda. We see in season two on Steve's essay for colleges that he can link his grandfather's military service with his prowess on the basketball court.

It is also surprisingly well written. *shakes fist at the Duffers stop telling us he's stupid and then showing the opposite, please! Let him be smart, too!*

Summary: The Renaissance Fair is finally back in Hawkins after three year absence (Starcourt was built on the fair site and after the fire it was bulldozed back to it's original field). Everyone is excited, even Steve to everyone's amazement. But Steve is hiding other hidden depths as he offers to help the kids make their costumes for the Fair.

Lucas is struggling with being both a nerd and a jock and fears the judgment of his friends. Steve sets out to help him overcome those doubts to be himself.

Tagging the untaggable: @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03

***

Nobody expects Steve to be excited for the Renaissance fair. Dustin, Will and Lucas spend hours plotting bribes, schemes and out and out manipulations to get Steve to agree to take them. Even Robin expected him to side with her about the dust and the filth. Eddie expected him to be dismissive of the fantasy aspect of it.

Boy were they all wrong.

For it was Steve to bring up to the group after a rather successful D&D session.

In his hand was a bright pink flier and a wide grin on his face.

“Guys! The Ren Fair is back this year,” he said in lieu of a greeting. “I’ll finally be able to show off that tunic I’ve been working on.”

All heads turned to Steve in shock.

There was a cacophony of questions.

“Since when did you know how to sew?”

“What do you mean back? I didn’t even know Hawkins had one to begin with!”

“You want to go to the Ren Fair?”

“Why would you want to spend all day in the heat and dirt?”

Steve looked around at all off his friends in shock.

“Guys, I love the Ren Fair,” he muttered. “Didn’t you guys know?”

All their jaws dropped.

And Eddie? Eddie felt an icicle to the heart at the sight of Steve’s hurt expression.

“You’ll pardon the peasants, my liege,” Eddie said, bowing grandly. “I’m afraid we have all be harboring under the delusion that Ren Fairs were beneath your notice.”

Steve blinked at him a moment. “But I love that stuff. It’s the history and sword fights and jousting. It’s the like medieval Olympics. It’s the romance and chivalry of knights fighting for a fair maiden’s hand. It’s getting to dress up in fancy clothes and rip into turkey legs like a savage. What’s not to like?”

Dustin frowned. “Who here knew Steve liked history?”

Robin and Nancy raised their hands. They looked around waiting for me people to join them. But they stayed down.

Steve ducked his head and scuffed the floor with the edge of his sneaker.

“The ex-girlfriend I’ll buy,” Dustin continued. “But Robin didn’t become friends with Steve until after he graduated so how did she know?”

Robin blinked at them owlishly. “You mean you guys don’t know?”

Everyone looked around each other and then shook their heads.

“Steve was in my AP history class my junior year,” she said as if this was know fact.

“You do know that AP stands for advance placement, right?” Mike asked.

Eddie smacked the back of his head. “She was in it, dude. Don’t be an ass.”

Steve looked up at him and smiled a little.

Good, Eddie thought. Nothing like a little Mike violence to cheer up Steve.

“He wrote an essay for early placement college exams,” Nancy said. “He didn’t get a chance to turn it in because of our second go round with the Upside Down, but it was really good. It needed a little neatening up with the actual writing, but the history was solid.”

Steve blushed. “Thanks.”

Dustin looked skeptical. “What’s your favorite part of history?”

Steve opened his mouth and then closed it again. “I liked hearing about my grandpa’s time in the US army during WWII, but that was more because he made it interesting. But I really like the Industrial Revolution. Or rather the first Industrial Revolution. There have been four. The first one was from 1760-1840 and featured heavily in the textile movement.”

The room was silent.

“Why textiles, Stevie?” Eddie asked as the silence grew awkward.

Steve lit up like a child at Christmas morning and he began talking about the British textile movement.

“What the hell?” Dustin huffed, breaking into Steve monologue.

Steve ducked his head again and blushed. “Just because I’m not interested in science and fantasy doesn’t mean I’m stupid.” He straightened up. “And yeah, sometimes I get things wrong. But everyone does at some point. In fact I get a hell of a lot more flack for my intelligence than Eddie does and he repeated his senior year twice!” He took a deep breath and then ran his fingers through his hair.

“No offense,” he said waving to Eddie.

Eddie looked up at him with earnest eyes. “None taken. I concur.”

They all looked around at each other in shock. Like they hadn’t realized that they had done that.

After a few moments, Steve put his hands on his hips and pointed at all of them.

“So do you guys want to go or what?”

Eddie sat back with a smile as everyone roared their approval.

*

“No corsets,” was Robin’s only firm and fast rule for Steve when it came to dressing her up for the Ren Fair.

Steve looked her up and down. “Why on earth would I want you in a corset? Have you looked in the mirror?”

“Uh...” Robin said. “Is that a trick question? Of course I have. I don’t what that has to do with saying no to corsets though...”

Steve rolled his eyes. “In order to give you the curve you need to match the proper silhouette you would need to be cinched to hell. And as this is supposed to be fun.”

He grabbed her hand and started hauling her toward his car.

“Where are we going?”

“Thrifting!” he said with glee.

It took three different stores and a stop at the mall to get everything he needed.

“Give me three days,” he told her when he dropped her off at her house. “And I think you’ll like what I come up with.”

Robin eyed him warily. “If you say so.”

Steve laughed.

He crashed the next D&D session, showing up early to pick them up.

“What is everyone wearing to the Ren Fair?” he asked with a note pad on his lap and wagged the pen in his fingers.

“You want us to dress up?” Mike asked, eyes wide.

“Why not?” he asked with a shrug. “I’ve made my costume and currently reworking some thirfted threads for Robin’s outfit.”

Eddie blinked. “You made your costume?”

Steve shrugged again. “Yeah. I like sewing.”

There was suddenly an uproar and he held up a hand. “I can’t make you a full outfit before the Fair, but I can make over already made clothes to make them more historical. And maybe for next year I’ll have the time to make something special for everyone.”

Dustin eyed him suspiciously. “Like what?”

“Like tailoring pants to a tighter fit,” Steve explained “adding a sash or belt, turning old coats into vests and cloaks, things like that.”

They still weren’t sure how that would work out.

��Now I talked to Joyce and Claudia,” he continued. “And they’re both willing to help out in making sure everyone has something nice to wear. That includes Max and El.”

“Are the fair maidens joining us?” Eddie asked.

Steve nodded. “Yeah. Joyce is doing El and Will, Claudia is doing Dustin and Mike, and I’m doing Lucas and Max. Eddie said he already had a costume, so I didn’t have to worry about him.”

Eddie grinned. “You better believe it, pretty boy.”

Steve ducked his head and blushed. “So we’re all going thrifting with a $5 limit for each of you. But I wanted to brainstorm some ideas of what you wanted to go as so we don’t waste time wandering around.”

Everyone started shouting at once and it took Steve a good ten minutes before he got everyone calmed down enough to get what they wanted. Dustin wanted to go as a hobbit, but Steve had to nix that one.

“You don’t want to go running around the grounds barefoot,” he explained with a wince. “It’s not safe.”

“I’m going to have to agree with Stevie on this one,” Eddie said. “You guys have never been but there is all sorts of stuff laying around. It’s not indoors and the pathways are dirt lined. Think the state fair. It’s more like that then going to comic book convention.”

Dustin grumbled but conceded the point. Steve got them to decide on... well not quite peasant gear, but more rough around the edges than what Steve would be wearing.

Well, all but Lucas. He didn’t want to wear what they were wearing but he refused to say what he did want to wear.

So Steve dropped him off at home last.

They pulled into his driveway and Steve turned to him. “Do you not want to dress up? Because I won’t make you.”

Lucas picked at the loose string on his sweater. “It’s not that. I just remember the last time we did a group costume and they all thought I should be Winston because I was black like he was.”

Steve frowned for a moment. “The Ghostbusters, right?”

Lucas nodded. “I knew if I brought it up they’d shoot me down again.”

“So what did you want to go as?” he asked.

Lucas huffed out a sigh. “It doesn’t matter. It’s a stupid pipe dream anyway. Especially since you have to make Max’s dress and Robin’s costume, too.”

He opened the door to get out, but Steve reached over and slammed it closed.

“One, Robin’s costume is almost done,” he said counting out on his fingers. “Two, do you really think your girlfriend is going to want to wear a dress? And three, let me be the judge on what’s too much for me, okay?”

Lucas huffed a laugh at his second point. “Yeah, that was dumb of me.”

“So what is it?”

Lucas looked down again and heaved out a sigh. “An elf.”

Steve’s mind was whirling with the possibilities. “What colors?”

“What?” Lucas asked, not sure he heard Steve right.

“What colors would you want it to be?”

He pulled out the notebook and scrambled for a pen. Lucas pulled a pencil out of his bag and handed it to him.

“Uh I was thinking of a light blue and with a silver trim?” he said hesitantly.

Steve sketched something out. “Like this?”

Lucas leaned over to look at the drawing. “A little shorter so I’m not tripping over it and maybe those puffy pants?”

Steve adjusted the drawing and Lucas nodded.

“Yeah, like that.”

“All right,” Steve said. “I know exactly what to do and how to do it. It won’t be perfect because I don’t have time to do it right so I’ll be doing a lot of cheating. But yeah, it’s doable.”

Lucas gave him a hug. “Thanks, man.”

*

Steve called the one person he knew he could help him.

“Eddie,” he said the second the other man picked up. “I need your nerd connections to do a huge favor for Lucas.”

“Wha’cha got, big boy?” Eddie asked with a grin.

“You wouldn’t happen to know any Trekkies would you?” Steve asked chewing on his bottom lip.

“That depends, Stevie,” Eddie replied, “what’s the need?”

“Pointed ears.”

Eddie hummed. “I’m assuming you’re thinking Trekkie because of Spock and that’s a good thought. But I’m guessing since we’re going to the Ren Fair our stalwart ranger is wanting to be an elf?”

“Yeah,” Steve said. “Do you know anyone who can help?”

“Better than that,” Eddie said. “I know where to get the ears in the right... shade?”

Steve perked up. “Oh? I’m guessing Jeff?”

“Right in one, darlin’,” Eddie said with a soft smile. “I’ll give him a call and then call you back.”

“Thanks, Eds,” Steve breathed. “You’re the best.”

“Thanks, doll.”

****

I am so excited for this, guys. You have no idea. I'm little history nerd myself and this really fun to play around with.

Just a heads up. We WILL be addressing Mike's casual racism from the Ghostbusters scene because I don't like that it's never been addressed.

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @gregre369 @artiststarme ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @danili666 @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @vecnuthy @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @dragonmama76 @scheodingers-muppet @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual

[notmybabies]

every show with teenagers shows teenage sexuality, but the moment the we discuss those urges that are outside of a purely heterosexual context suddenly we are “sexualizing children” and pedos. steve and nancy hook up in the first episode of stranger things, and second season jonathan and nancy go right from first kiss to sex. never heard anybody accused of sexualizing them or calling the duffer bros perverts. but suggesting two best friends are checking each other out and feeling sexual attraction for one another is soooo outrageous and evil people must call us out on it. heaven forbid we write fanfic or make art depicting anything of that heinous nature, especially if we are adults! you know, because we were never that age and never felt those things and if we did we cannot legally ever think back upon those years and experiences with anything but neutral feelings otherwise we are total sickos. how dare we try to heal our younger queer repressed selves by indulging in the heightened emotions and possibilities that come with romance and relationships during that particular time of our lives! how awful of us to imagine two young queers getting to find and accept themselves and each other in ways we were denied at that age! how foolish are we to hope for stories about people like us who figured things out sooner than we did, who got things they wanted and found happiness and healthy and safe romantic and sexual relationships where we did not!

miss me with that anti-gay propaganda-fed bullshit. people of all ages have always enjoyed young romance and coming of age stories, and it only hurts those stories to sanitize them and enforce a lack of sensuality. it hurts society and young people to leave queer sexuality out of the narrative. fuck the fuck off and don’t read what you don’t want to read.

[cherryssodapop]

you do know that Billy is racist right...

*sighhhhhhhh* Alright, here we go…

Typically I don’t like getting into this argument because you’re not supposed to argue with a POC about what’s racist and what isn’t (I don’t actually know if you are poc or not this is a general statement I’m making), I know I don’t because it just doesn’t feel right, but here’s the thing.

When it comes to this character the one line he said that everyone’s going crazy for I’m going to have to disagree here because it’s just 1. too vague of a statement, of course you could argue that Billy talking about Lucas’ skin colour is implied in his statement and I agree, but not for the reasons you think.

And 2. there’s a reason Dacre changed this scene with the duffers regarding Billy’s potential racism because you’re creating a character who’s an antagonist who originally had no reason to be bad (until Dacre suggested the scene with his father) and then you wanna add racism into the mix? if the duffers really wanted to bring up the issue of racism during the 80s especially in small secluded areas like Hawkins, I’m pretty sure it would’ve been an actual subplot, but no they just wanted to use it as an additional reason to make Billy’s character initially unlikeable and it was so poorly written into the script and also Dacre was just straight up uncomfortable acting out that whole sequence so we can safely say the concept of Billy being a racist is scrapped from canon all together. I’m explaining this from the perspective of a film student because you can’t write an antagonist without a plausible reason and motive to be bad, so Dacre humanizing him and giving him that back story and lore is exactly what you do when it comes to character work, especially for antagonists like Billy (unless you wanna make the villain a basic villain with a basic story arc who’s sole purpose is to get in the hero’s way and die trying but in this case Billy never did that. He never really got into anyone’s way besides at the end of season 2 but it’s because he had no idea what’s going on and in HIS mind he thinks he’s saving Max from a fucked up situation. And im not even going to start with season 3 because we all know; bro was possessed, he wasn’t himself, Vecna was acting out entirely through him Billy had no say in any of it. In fact he even showed remorse and shame during the little time Vecna let him be in control of himself before abruptly taking over.) Also, yes you can be from an educated and woke society (California is a blue state and the equal opportunities act in the states already passed and Billy leaves for hawkins in fall 1984 so it’s already well established in society at that time that being racist is not acceptable) and still be a bigot, but I really just don’t believe this is the case for Billy.

What I think the issue here is his father, now hear me out, hear me out.

In the book “Runaway Max” it is brought up that Neil is a huge supporter of Reagen who at the time was a republican and attempted to abolish the equal opportunities act bill but ultimately failed of course. Max even says it herself that Neil is racist and a white supremacist. What does that tell you? His father is the whole problem. Because we all know that Billy gets beaten and blamed for everything that happens whether it’s Max’s fault or his Neil will take any excuse to physically hurt Billy. And being how Neil is so adamant on Billy watching over Max and being in charge of her, what would happen if Neil caught Max with Lucas who is black and we know Neil’s views on that demographic of people? What do you think would happen?

Of course, we could also bring up that if Billy was racist it would be a learned behaviour from his father. Though, to be honest, considering how much Billy tries to rebel against his father, I think it’s safe to say that would include Neil’s morals and beliefs, so I highly doubt it.

Going back to my first point, I think Billy did say that about Lucas not because he hates Lucas but because his father would and would take out that well known hatred out on Billy. It was more of a warning for both of their safety because of how insane Neil is. That’s why I think Billy said that and acted that way in terms of their friendship because he doesn’t want to deal with the consequences of his father’s wrath.

We can also see this in season 3, when Billy is working full time, starting to take control of his life (likely saving up money so he could leave and move back to California) he doesn’t even care about what Max is doing let alone dating Lucas, he’s too busy trying to get his life together.

So no, I don’t think Billy is a racist and I’ve listed all of my reasons why from a canonical standpoint using evidence from the story, plus my own analysis on his character as an actor myself.

Now from a shifter’s standpoint; I really don’t wanna hear y’all judge my choice of S/O considering some of y’all shift for active psychopaths and murderers meanwhile I’m shifting for a dude who’s been deeply traumatized and wants to live his life in peace and find true love.

To conclude; this is entirely my opinion and my belief on the topic. If you believe the opposite you’re fully entitled to, no one’s gonna attack you or try to convince you otherwise. But the thing is with people like myself who like Billy’s character and indulge in his lore and fanfiction we’re constantly getting criticized and harassed and even as far as labeled as bad people just because we view him from a different perspective. I believe it’s time we all grow up and respect each other’s opinions because not everyone agrees with everyone and that’s the way of the world. freedom of thought freedom of speech.

(goddamn this was a long rant but i had to say my peace)

[therainscene]

It’s funny that Bylers are so often accused of being delusional, because I was at my most delusional when I was anti-Byler.

I spent most of S4 refusing to acknowledge that Will had romantic feelings for Mike, despite knowing damn well what all that love triangle imagery and sad gay pining was implying. I convinced myself it was just bros before hoes drama; that perhaps Will wanted to come out to his best friend but felt nervous after six months of radio silence following “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls!”

The van scene forced me to accept that he really was in love, and it pissed me off because what was even the point of making him fall for a straight boy?

Mike’s bizarre “no homo” behaviour was clearly a symptom of growing up in a conservative 80s household, and witnessing Will’s sacrificial act of love in the van was the shitty lesson he needed to get over his homophobia.

I saw a typical straight male protagonist in an 80s coming-of-age film getting to coast his way to self-actualization on the back of queer suffering; a cruel and homophobic trope I thought we’d moved past by the year 2022.

But then the NINA reunion scene rolled around--

--and I immediately picked up on the heavy parallels between Mike and Will in how they greeted El. The realization hit me like a tonne of bricks: Mike feels the same way about her as Will does.

I thought, “wait, does this mean I was wrong about...? Oh my god. No way.

No fucking way.

Will was in love with El this whole time?? What the fuck, he’s been gay since S1 and she’s his sister this is BULLSHIT I will personally strangle the Duffers--”

Heteronormativity is a hell of a drug, kids.

Let this be a lesson to those of you who think media illiteracy is to blame for Byler denial -- how well someone understands the mechanics of storytelling is irrelevant if they insist on treating Mike’s supposed heterosexuality as an axiom instead of an evidence-based conclusion. The issue lies with bias, not literacy.

I was stubbornly anti-Byler because I knew I’d immediately fall in love with this ship if I allowed myself to have hope it could be canon, and the general state of queer rep in mainstream media meant I was all but guaranteed to get hurt if I was so stupid as to have hope. But in my desperation to cling to the “safe” heteronormative outcome, I only ended up hurting myself with my own silly assumptions.

We’ve seen both canonically gay characters in the show make exactly this mistake, needlessly hurting themselves with their silly but self-defensive assumptions about their love interests.

Stranger Things absolutely nails its depiction of the subtler ways internalized homophobia can manifest -- Will may feel like a mistake and be prone to beating himself up, but he isn’t some pitiful self-loathing queer who wishes he was straight, either. He’s just so crushed by heteronormativity that he accepts it as an inescapable fact of life and lets it guide his beliefs and actions.

Don’t get me wrong: Will, like Robin, is very sensible for being cautious in such a horrifically bigoted environment -- trying to openly defy that level of homophobia by yourself, especially when you’re young, is a bad idea.

But unlike Robin, he clearly struggles to accept that he has the right to chase his same-sex love interest. He's no longer simply exercising caution, but conforming to homophobic standards -- much in the same way I thought I was sensibly refusing to be queerbaited, when really I was just agreeing with the heteronormative status quo.

I realize now that this is the real reason Will was written into a homophobic 80s trope: not to teach Mike an outdated lesson in acceptance, but to maneuver Will into position for the lesson he’s going to learn in S5 about resisting conformity.

Will needs to learn that castrating himself to make straight people comfortable is a bad idea too. Not only is that a miserable way to live his life, but what sort of world is he leaving for the next generation of queer kids if he never questions these homophobic standards?

It’s just the cycle of abuse scaled up to the societal level.

This is what gives me confidence in Byler endgame. Queerness isn’t just an incidental element of Will’s personal arc, but suffuses the show to its very core -- it’s in its themes, its allegory, its characters.

So Will getting the boy isn’t just nice fan-service for Byler shippers, but a necessary ending if the show’s most important lesson is to land:

That it’s rewarding to make the difficult choice of standing up to bigotry in the face of forced conformity. Of choosing love.

Could it be the case that I was right the first time, and Stranger Things is going to turn out to be yet another heteronormative mainstream show that doesn’t commit to its own themes? Sure, maybe. But that wouldn’t invalidate the valuable lessons this show has already -- and apparently accidentally lol -- taught me.

Anyone who calls us deluded for hoping a mainstream show is going to have a gay pairing as its main couple just doesn’t realize -- or doesn’t care -- that they’re contributing to the very problem they’re describing.

[steddieas-shegoes]

maybe a steve sickfic with 'I didn't want you to see me like this'

You guys truly love seeing Steve suffer and I just hope the Duffer brothers do not see what we get up to here.

-------------------------

"He called into work this morning and Keith said he sounded hungover. But I was with him last night and there's no way he's hungover," Robin's voice said outside of Steve's bedroom door.

"Maybe it's a migraine," Eddie's voice answered.

What was Eddie even doing here?

There was a knock on his bedroom door, followed by the door opening and Eddie peeking his head in.

"Stevie? You alright in here?"

Steve groaned in response, his head pounding and his body aching.

"Taking that as a no," Eddie said as he came further into the room.

"No, stay away. I think it's the flu," Steve said, voice raspy from the soreness in his throat.

"Have you eaten? Had water? Taken medicine? You're sweating, do you have a fever?" Eddie sounded like he was panicking, and Steve did not want that.

"Uh. I'm okay."

"Why didn't you call me?" Eddie sounded hurt, like he fully expected Steve to bother him when he was sick.

"I didn't want you to see me like this."

Too honest.

"But I could have brought you stuff," Eddie was sitting on the edge of his bed now, his hand coming up to move the hair off of Steve's sweaty forehead.

"I'm fine."

"Robin, can you go get water and some crackers please?" Eddie looked over at where she stood in the doorway. "You should take a shower, cool off a little. I can change the sheets."

"Don't wanna get up."

"What if I help you?"

"Help me...shower?" Steve felt like he was missing something.

"If it'll help you feel better, yeah."

"Um."

"Steve, you can say no. It's just, don't say no because you're worried it will bother me. Quite the opposite."

Eddie was blushing, Steve could see the red along his cheeks, like he was the one with a fever.

"What's that mean?" Steve's head was cloudy, he couldn't be blamed for not quite understanding.

"Steve."

"Hm?"

"I mean, you have to know, right?" Eddie's voice was quiet, trembling with nerves.

"Know what?"

"How much I care about you."

"Huh."

"Steve."

Eddie leaned down and kissed his forehead.

"You can keep your boxers on, okay? We'll talk when you feel better. But I think it'll help to wash away some of the sweat, maybe cool off a little."

"Okay."

"And next time, just know I wanna see you in any way. All the ways. Even sick, even tired. Okay?"

"Okay, Eds."

[dia-depeche]

I just know that I am going to be BAWLING while watching season 5, especially when byler has their first kiss. Byler, and stranger things as a whole, mean so much to me. Like I can’t even put it into words. Stranger things is what lead me into become interested with horror, and now it’s my favourite genre of all time. I can’t explain how my life would change if I never watched stranger things, it gave me so much hope for myself. While I’ve never been physically bullied, I have definitely been verbally bullied by peers in the past, and had been labeled as “one of the weird/queer kids” and it hurt me so much back then. Seeing stranger things and having the nerds and outcasts save the day and get so much praise truly helped me realize I wasn’t as alone as I felt. And byler, holy shit. I don’t think I’ve ever related as much to two fictional characters as I have with Mike and Will. Seeing Mikes internalized homophobia made me so relieved, which sounds kinda weird, but knowing that it was an experience other kids had was so reassuring. It reminded me of my younger self. Back when all of my friends had started to get crushes on the boys, and we would huddle under playground equipment talking about them. I didn’t realize it at the time and was very in denial, but I had a big crush on my best friend, who was yapping about one of the boys in my grade. So I’d lie, and randomly picked one of the boys who they hadn’t talked about, and I said I liked him. I didn’t. I hated his guts. But the feeling to try and fit in felt so massive. Eventually as I grew up and with the support of my parents, I finally managed to admit to myself that I was in fact bi (with a huge preference for women). Mike, Will, Robin and Vickie, mean so much to me and other queer people. I love them with all of my heart. The Byler community has made me feel so welcome and loved, and I hope you guys feel the same. Even though I have my worries, I trust the duffer brothers to give stranger things the ending it deserves. (Please don’t end like the umbrella academy that was actually so bad) Thank you for reading my thoughts and have a wonderful day/evening ❤️ ALSO it’s Christmas Eve as I post this so Merry Christmas Eve and happy holidays to those of you celebrate something else!

[bylrlve]

Warning! Potential Spoilers for Stranger Things Season 5! Exciting for Bylers!

Total confirmed M*leven scenes so far: kiss in a field in episode one, and rooftop conversation, also likely in episode one. There is a staggered time skip through episode one - unclear if chronological, or through flashbacks, but it means we have no idea when this kiss actually takes place in the chronology of the show.

Despite what Alex insinuates, that is literally it, as far as leakers know, until episode 3. Everyone is at the mansion set in that episode for at least one scene, prior to splitting off into groups and venturing into the upside down in episode 4. One presumes they may interact in the mansion scene, but even that is unknown. That literally is it up to episode 6, which is what they’re filming now - as far as leakers are aware, but it’s pretty clear when you look at Finn’s schedule vs Millie’s.

(Gifs from a video by @byler-endgayme)

Meanwhile, this is what has leaked about Byler so far:

Episode 2; the bike ride. Ep 2 according to the Twitter stranger things update account. If this is a school run in the morning, Will may be living at the Wheelers - supported by the bts pic with seven chairs at the table. If not, he’s likely just visiting Mike at the house - but it still shows that Will is part of Mike’s domestic routine, and that he occupies a partner role.

A lot happens for/to the wheelers in episode 2: karen possibly gets injured here, holly gets taken here apparently, Mike gets hurt at the hospital along with several other people (confirmed) and Will shows up crying and blaming himself. Rovickie, jancy, and byler are there: Will is there for Mike, El is not.

Episode 3: everyone is at the mansion set before breaking off into UD groups. This includes Mike, Will, El, and it’s notable that, from context, it seems like it dovetails into Mike and Will choosing each other as partners for… (life) the Upside Down.

Episode 4: the flashback with 8yo Will, 8yo Mike, and 13yo Jonathan. Will and Jon don’t speak, Mike does.

Episode 6: a scene at a church covered in vines with just Mike and Will.

The scenes at the farm with Mike, Robin, Will, and apparently Vickie happen around 503-4, and Mike a and Will are wearing the same clothes in the hand-stack picture as in the leaked Duffer birthday video from early February - see @will80sbyers and @justmy-account’s excellent production masterposts. Mike apparently has his own subplot with Robin, and we know Robin and Will have 1:1 scenes…

There’s been some kerfuffle over a an actor named Jacob Moran being followed on Instagram by Noah recently - but he’s followed Noah, Caleb, and Jamie for years, and as he was working on a project in Atlanta until recently, it seems more likely that he’s a friend of Noah’s than that he’s Will’s NPC Love Interest. Once again, that trail goes cold…

Speaking of, it’s amusing and frustrating to me that when some random acc on Twitter says Will has an NPC Love Interest people pay attention, but when Mytimetoshinehello, a reliable enough leak account, first says in May that he has a love interest and then privately DMS people saying it’s a new character, only to privately tweet to paid subscribers (ie not for attention) saying that they hear it is Mike, people don’t pick up on it. Of course, the UpsideDownScoops account did delete their tweet and proceed to bullshit about why it’s not Mike, so…

Big Screen Leaks is a very reliable general spoilers acc that announced they had st5 spoilers in may 2023. They said on Sunday, during a q&a, that they’re not sharing anything… something weird is going on. They also follow MTTSH.

Noah and MTTSH both had a similar trajectory. The latter went from privately saying in DMs that it’s not Mike to saying to their subs that it is. The former went from being pessimistic when he had the first few scripts to going on TT live right before filming in january and saying ‘byler endgame byler kiss’ very excitedly - he had up to episode 6. They got the ep 7 script in March, and on March 27 he liked a tiktok showing Mike and Will’s BTS pics with a boyfriends 💙💛’ caption.

The statement by the duffers that we’re returning to s1 dynamics is interesting, given that Mike and Will are together so much while Mike and El aren’t. Re: Mike, perhaps they mean that his primary focus is keeping Will… with an ending of finding new romance, perhaps? All in all? I’m so hyped.

TLDR: Bylers are eating no matter what, in terms of screentime and content. M*levens… sad trombone noise.

UPDATE TO ADD: https://x.com/byrhop/status/1811804426492907787?s=46

[wonderwall-dreaming]

Is it surprising that a dead character will remain dead? No.

Is it disappointing? Yes.

It's been two years since Stranger Things 4 Vol. 2 dropped and Eddie Munson's death is still a sore spot for me.

The problem I had with his death two years ago and still have with it now is that it was extremely predictable and avoidable. The thing is, Eddie's death didn't impact the story for all the characters. It just impacted Dustin.

The Duffers spoke about needing a doomed character for Season 4, and they did have that with Max, but since she's a main character, she has plot armor. They do this every season. They're too afraid to actually do something that will impact the story and all the characters, so they play it safe, bring someone new in that the audience will love, and then kill them.

Now, don't take that as me saying I wish Max died because I don't, I'm just pointing out how they had their doomed character, but the rules didn't apply because she's part of the main cast of characters and those are untouchable. I love Max, I hated seeing her suffer in Season 4, but it is true, she was cursed, a fate that none of the other three characters who were cursed could escape.

My issues with Eddie's death being predictable and avoidable and my issue with the Duffer Brothers' writing aside, here's the real problem. The message his death sent is harmful.

Before someone comes at me about how Stranger Things is fictional, and it's not real, I know, but the thing is, fiction makes people feel very real things. If it can provide them comfort, it can also cause them heartbreak. Storytelling is powerful. The emotions it makes people feel are very real. It doesn't necessarily matter if it's fiction, if it hurts you, it hurts you.

All of that being said, let's get back to my problem with the message his death sends.

The narrative that characters who are suffering, whether that be because of their current circumstances or trauma in their past, dying and finally being at peace is harmful.

Why can't characters who have only known pain get the chance to heal in life? Peace through death is not the only option.

The message is always tied to a character who dies in a self-sacrificial way, essentially killing themselves, and the writers going "Sure that's sad, but look at how bad their life was! They're at peace now." That transcends fiction and for some hits a little too close to home.

Do I think we'll see Eddie in Season 5? Yeah, I do, most likely as some nightmare that will terrorize Dustin, and it's unfortunate because I don't believe it had to be this way.

I think with different writers, Eddie Munson could've had a very different story that would have had its sad moments but wouldn't have ended the way that it did, and overall would have sent a better message to those who relate to him.

I am begging writers to abandon this narrative, especially in stories that are fantasy-based and don't abide by normal "rules" I promise you no one wants to see that really loveable character with trauma essentially commit suicide and then be told it's a good thing because they were suffering.

The Twitter post from the top of my post.

[ronancecats]

ok you got me super curious. why don't you like steve?

This is gonna be a long one, so unbuckle your seatbelts, slam on the brakes, and do a front flip out of the windshield.

I'm going to break it down by season because that will help me get all my points down, and I don't want to leave anything out. Also, a little disclaimer: I do like Steve's writing, and I appreciate the way he's developed and the role he plays, but with that being said, I still don't like him as a character.

I'm going to try and explain each reason the best I can, but I low-key suck at that so I'm sorry if anything seems confusing.

SEASON 1:

season 1 is the season that is most self-explanatory of why I don't like him, I don't think anyone genuinely likes him in season 1.

-He literally slut shamed Nancy. Like...I don't care if he was only a teenager/had bad friends. He would've been 17 and old ENOUGH to understand the consequences of that and that it would hurt Nancy...that's why he did it in the first place.

-he was awful to Jonathan, and I'm not necessarily talking about the breaking camera thing, I'm talking about what he said to him before the fight. He called him queer (a slur back in the 80's), insulted his family, and insinuated that he had something to do with his little brother's disappearance.

-He pressured Nancy into sex. NO, HE DID NOT SA HER. It was consensual, but with that being said, something can still be consensual and enjoyed while having pressure on top of that. Also, he didn't stop Carol when she was mocking Nancy and making her uncomfortable; he was smug about it. But yes, I understand he was just a teenager then.

-He just, in general, didn't respect her boundaries at all and made Barb's disappearance about himself AT FIRST.

SEASON 2:

-He left Nancy, black out drunk, at a party. Yes, he was heartbroken, but he left her there and she was really lucky that Jonathan was there.

There's not much else in season 2 honestly. Mostly my feelings about him in s2 come from the first couple episodes when all he wanted was to make Nancy forget about her guilt and leaving her at the party. But yeah, I don't care about him in s2.

SEASON 3:

There's nothing necessarily bad about him in s3. I just hate how they made him this big character but then pushed Jonathan to the side, but that has nothing to do with his character. That's just a personal pet peeve I have with the duffers.

S3 was definitely his best season and the only one I can say I liked him in. They let him focus on his platonic relationships instead of making him chase after Nancy the whole time, and I like that. If they kept him like this for s4, I probably wouldn't dislike him as much as I do, but they just had to make him go back to that and it ruined him for me. Hopefully in s5 they'll let him be like his s3 self again.

SEASON 4:

-the six nugget speech. OH MY GOD BROTHER EUGH. I could make a whole essay about this, but long story short, it was completely unhinged and just shows he only wants Nancy for his dream, and he doesn't really care about her dreams in a romantic sense. He's in love with the idea of her, not her.

In conclusion, I only like Steve when they don't make his entire character revolve around Stancy and that dead relationship. Let Stancy die, I BEG OF YOU. It's better for Steve, Nancy, Jonathan, and literally everyone who watched the damn show without rose-colored glasses for Steve.

If they just let the love triangle die in s2, I can almost guarantee that I would like Steve more. But alas, they didn't and kept it around as if we don't already know how it's going to end.

Anyway, I probably went into way more detail than you wanted me to, but oh well. I wanted to be honest.

[carmenilla]

ok because i see the milkvan vision. i really do

listen i would still like them if the duffers didn’t make me glad i wasn’t one of mike and el’s friends in s3 because of how much time they spent just making out whenever they could instead of actually hanging out with their friends. like if i were will or dustin especially i would be even more pissed off than they were about it - that’s not a healthy relationship and results in their friends being hurt, which is shitty as hell

i would still like them if i had any insight into why they like each other and how exactly they feel about each other instead of them both avoiding it like a plague (especially mike, even in his fucking love confession).

i would still like them if the duffers hadn’t brought so much attention to will being sad and left out in literally all of their scenes together in s4 (except for their argument scene) to the point where i’m rooting for him so much, especially as a queer person. it would be gross to highlight will’s suffering in all the s4 milkvan scenes just to rub it in our (queer viewers) faces that will has a tragic gay love story and will never get with the person he’s in love with, and so i want him to score this win for me as well, as a queer person.

there was a point where i liked byler AND milkvan - i liked byler more and obviously wanted them to become canon, but i thought mike and el’s relationship was sweet and liked them as well. until i rewatched the series without being a hardcore milkvan shipper anymore and realized all the red flags

byler and milkvan could have both been good ships, had milkvan not clearly been a toxic relationship where it’s questionable if they like anything about the other person (romantically of course). they could have both been good ships had will’s supposed tragic unrequited queer love not been literally rubbed in my damn face. but they’re not, and that’s why i have full confidence in saying that byler is the best and right way to go with the story and any other way would be SHIT AS HELL and would be queerbait which is the equivalent of asking us queer folks to come close just so they can spit in our faces. and that would be literally awful

that’s why i don’t like milkvan. some scenes they have are very sweet, even i cant deny, but the bad outweighs the good tenfold and i eventually got tired of pretending it doesnt

[givehimthemedicine]

i read the Lumax analysis and ngl i feel the same about Byler. why is Will practically doing all the work. Mike just ignores him, then Will speaks up, gets shut down. no apology to his face. then Mike has the gall to pull the "b-but you won’t abandon me, right 🥺?" card seconds before they move to Cali and Will eats it up.

Mike was scribbling his next letter to send to El, while Will was making a painting as a gift for him. when they reunite at the airport, Will is so giddy, and happy even when he spots Mike wearing the Minion suit. he is going in for a hug, fully expecting he’ll get one. despite the lack of phone calls he believes that Mike is gonna match his energy. he doesn’t. he is ignored. again. when Mike realizes he is losing him he swoops in to apologize. what do we get for rest of season? it’s just Will comforting, reassuring Mike and listening to his problems. he notices Mike being upset as they are burying the corpse and talks to him, he notices Mike moping as he reads El’s letter, etc. then the grand culmination - van scene.

i give Mike a pass for not noticing Will sobbing as hes muffling his cries with his hand and turned around. but what about before? when he was giving the van speech at times Will looked and sounded like he was 2 seconds away from bursting into tears. how did Mike not notice something was wrong when he was obviously paying attention to him. and if he did that’s even worse.

Jonathan being there isn’t an excuse. he could have said something, anything, subtly to check up on him or comfort him. he didn’t do that. "you make her feel like she’s not a mistake at all. like she’s better for being different" ok so why are the Duffers so allergic to showing us that. when was the last time that happened. season 2? when Mike said it’s not his fault Will doesn’t like girls, that they are not kids anymore, him wanting to play DnD, which led to Will having a breakdown and destroying Castle Byers, his safe place and cry as he ripped up their photos and called himself stupid - was he feeling better for being different? or worse? did he feel uplifted by Mike shoving in his face how normal he is unlike Will? that he’ll never be like them? that they are moving on, being grown ups and Will is stuck? could some bully at school outright calling him a slur be as hurtful as the things his best friend, someone he trusted and loved said to him then? that he never received a proper apology for.

Mike gets free therapy sessions. Will gets a few crumbs of attention and affection when Mike gets forcibly separated from El.

Mike and Will aren't characters I pay particular attention to, so the townsfolk will please forgive my newborn take.

I absolutely see your point and agree Mike has had terrible PR with Will on many occasions. but while he's often an asshat when it comes to Will's feelings, I'll say at least Mike is regularly shown to be concerned for Will's welfare in the life-and-death-plot way, and is actively involved in making plans and taking actions that save him. (Mike's the one to rally the party to go out and search for Will. to insist he's alive somehow after they all saw his dead body. to build "hey let's make sure we don't also kill Will" into the MF-killing plans. etc)

that's where I think a comparison to lumax isn't so tight because I can't think of anything Max has ever done for Lucas's welfare on either a plot or feelings level. (the writing has never really given her an occasion to save or help Lucas the way he is for her.)

and for all his shit, we have also seen Mike be really good to Will on the feelings level (mostly thinking about his incredible loyalty in season 2 and the swings speech. his commitment to Will in the front half of the show is on par with that of Joyce and that's saying something). it sure would be nicer if that was more recent/consistent, but it has happened, which I can't honestly say for Max. the nicest thing Max has done for Lucas so far is allow him to be nice to her.

[toobusybeingdelulu]

No because if the duffers had really cared about Max and especially Billy, at the end of season 2 we would have gotten a scene between them in the car before the snow ball, paralleling the one between Dustin and Steve.

or maybe we would have not seen it until s4 in one of Max's memories, instead of the one at the skatepark which had literally no value whatsoever, and it could have been something like this:

—

Eleven recognizes the building in front of her almost immediately. How could she not? when those same walls held the memories of so many kids, including hers: they had witnessed her first ball, aka one of the few times she had managed to feel like a normal kid, surrounded by friends and other people her age who did not spare a glance for her. Because, for once in her life, none of them could have said there was anything remarkable and different about her except for a pretty dress and some light make up.

And apparently that same building holds some kind of significance for Max too considering that, among all her other memories' locations, Hawkins Middle School was the one to greet her. Except that she finds herself not inside of it, but out, right in the parking lot.

Eleven spins on herself, trying to have a look around; she recognizes Dustin with his absurd hairstyle walking confidently towards the school. She doesn't recognize the car he came out of, though.

The Camaro parked just a little bit further away, on the other hand…

The girl holds her breath, walking slowly towards it; while reducing the distance between them she can already make out a flash of red hair, with a flower pin on top of it. honestly, that's another thing she could recognize everywhere. Sitting on the passenger's seat is Max, with her mouth set in a tight line and, right beside her, Billy. Eleven has to stop for a second while trying to shake off the memory of the last time she saw him: dead, with his chest spared open. So different from the one version now in front of her; His hair is shorter, his clothes cleaner, and yet the vulnerable gaze she had seen in his eyes that fatal night is almost the same as this one.

The only difference is that, in this memory, there is no one to witness it. Billy is looking straight ahead, and so is Max.

And none of them is speaking.

Furrowing her brow, Eleven gets closer. Once reaching the car's window on Max's side she gets on her knees, determined to have a better look at what's happening inside.

The redhead is sitting with her arms crossed, tapping her foot on the pavement. To say she looks impatient would be an understatement.

"So? Can I go?" To further confirm that fact, her tone is anything but friendly. Billy, who only now seems to remember that she is here, turns towards her with a raised brow.

"No one is holding you back. why are you still here?”

Max looks at him like he is a child, before trying to open the door. Which doesn't, in fact, open. "You have the child security on, genius." she stays silent for a second, then adds: "like I would voluntarily sit in this stupid car with you for longer than necessary."

Eleven holds her breath, shifting her gaze to Billy, who does nothing more than hold the wheel tighter and release a deep sigh, like those words had physically hurt him. And yet it only lasts for a second, because his shoulders relax right after. "this stupid car, as you called it, is the one thing that took you to this loser party in the first place. what's so exciting about it anyway?"

While watching Max's expression, Eleven thinks that if her eyes had a superpower, it would've been be that of throwing daggers. "first of all, it gets me away from your stupid face. It seems like a good reason enough to me."

"yeah, and it gets you closer to the ugly ones of your hick friends. Speaking of looks-“

“I told you to leave them alone. And you still have this fucking security thing on. Let me out, or l'm gonna be late!"

"late for what? Your first kissy-kiss dance under the mistletoe? Jesus, Max, I never took you for a romantic pussy."

"What's your problem?!" she explodes, finally turning towards him with her fists clenched. "Is this your sick idea of revenge? keeping me locked here with you for the rest of the night while leaving me wondering if they are having fun without me or-“

“You look pretty.”

Eleven and Max almost gasp at the exact same time.

Billy, on the other hand, looks like he just swallowed a frog, while still looking straight ahead and his grip on the wheel tight enough to make his fingers white. Eleven can't remember the last time she saw Max at a loss for words. From her position, the only thing she sees is her hair, and yet she can imagine the expression of total bewilderment she must have in that moment.

"I mean... less ugly than usual. Or whatever." Adds Billy, probably in order to escape that suffocating silence.

Max, on her part, doesn't say anything, but El doesn't miss the way she relaxes her shoulder after resuming her previous position, pushed against the seat with her arms tight around herself.

In the end, just as she is about to open her mouth to reply, a distinct click! is heard inside the car. "you can go. Let me find you here not later than half past eleven, got that?"

Max closes her mouth and nods, before throwing a quick, timid glance at Billy. Then she opens the door and Eleven rises to her feet, watching her best friend look at her brother like she doesn't understand him in the slightest. Like she wants to say something but can't manage herself to.

So she doesn't.

Right after Max disappears behind the school's doors, a loud rumble is heard. Eleven has just a moment to process what she just saw before turning and finding herself right in front of the same nebulous cloud that she once saw in Billy’s mind.

The source.

She doesn't have much time. So she can't do nothing more than leave the school, Billy, Max and their complicated relationship behind. At least for now.

[a-strangers-thoughtss]

I know everyone shits on the season 3 and 4 kids (including me, lovingly) but the duffers got the age down like to a tee

Like I’m sorry, but when I was 12-14 I was BAD.

My issues also had a lot to do with suffering from depression, anxiety, and past trauma.

But I mean… the kids in the show are also struggling with that.

Every one of them can kind of represent a way that someone copes with all of that too.

Dustin: ahh my friends are fighting.? Go to Steve for advice and then actually just avoid them bc sometimes it feels like they don’t want me around.

Well that didn’t work out very well. I just need to get to the root of the problem and fix it so no one else has to continue to suffer.

Lucas:. My friends are the most important thing to me and I’m gonna do whatever I can to help. How can I fix this for you? What can I do for you? Haha, wdym “how am I doing” this is about you.

Will: My childhood has been completely ripped away from me. I want it back pls. I’m kinda getting annoyed now bc no one wants to be younger again with me. Oh, yeah. I guess im gay too. I should go die in a hole.

Self sabotaging is by far the best way to go lmao. I’ll never be happy so let’s make other people happy instead.

Mike: I feel a lot but I don’t know how to express my feelings like Will can so I just bottle them up until I have a loud outburst and fight with someone and everyone gets hurt. I’m gonna push shit down like a MAN. I can play the role of Els boyfriend, I can be a good straight. I am not gay.

Oh shit, yep definetly gay, but I’m not about to fully address that. Let’s try to make El happy by being a great bf instead.

Max: Why choose to communicate feelings when you can just bottle them up. Pffft, what is accepting that I need help. That’s never gonna happen. We’re just gonna avoid the problem of feeling things.

El: I have no idea how to actually do this social thing. Hello horrible person that bullies me 👋. Why am I angry all the time? Dw Mike everything’s fine. I’m just extremely frustrated and have no way to express that. I’m just going to try to be as normal as possible so that people don’t hate me. I also didn’t know I could have a personality of my own 🤨

So basically they’re all very repressed and confused. They all suck at communicating and they’re all self sacrificing idiots.

It manifests outwardly differently than it does internally aswell. Overcompensating is a huge thing that all people in this age range struggle with.

My conclusion is that they all need exceeding amounts of therapy.

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

I'm sorry, but Billy stans who refuse to admit that Billy abused Max are dumb as fuck. He wasn't just yelling at her. He was manipulating and controlling her. If you go back and actually watch it, he physically puts his hands on her and hits her. He fucking throws Lucas against a goddamn wall. He threatened to run over the kids to get Max to listen to him. How many times do the Duffers have to fucking say that Billy was an abusive racist monster? By saying that he wasn't abusive, that he never hurt Max, by your very own fucked up logic that means that Neil never abused Billy. We Billy antis, we can still admit that he was abused, and we can actually sympathize with him. By down grading the abuse that Max suffered at the hands of Billy, is to downgrade the abuse Billy suffered at the hands of Neil. That's why it's called the circle of abuse, Billy wanted to take control of his pain and pass it onto Max. When he died, he was finally sorry for what he had done. In that moment, it wasn't just about saving El and the others, it was Billy standing up and ending the circle of abuse. When Billy stood up like that, it was an amazing moment. Sad, yes, but amazing that someone can finally break through all of that anger, all that pain and suffering, and do the right thing. It made me wish that we had more time, that we could have seen him try and become a better person. Dacre did a wonderful job portraying a well written antagonist. To say it was just yelling feels like quite an insult to the actor as well, because he managed to convey so many emotions. Billy is definitely a complicated character, and I enjoy hating him, but I also like him in that he clearly had potential to be better.

[steddieas-shegoes]

I'll be full of the love you want

rated t cw: self-doubt, relationship doubt, light angst tags: happy ending, hurt/comfort-ish, super fluffy romantic words being said

a/n: firstly I am writing this absolute fluff because i've been listening to sleep token and decided i could handle listening to blood sport (i couldn't) and so now we get this fluff. second of all, i feel like before anyone comes for my throat, i LOVE nancy. i hate what the duffer brothers have reduced her character to canonically. she has so much potential, just sitting there, and what are they doing with it? making her worse. i do think that she is just very bad at reading what's appropriate to say to people, and that's what happens here. assume that it gets fixed and she apologizes later, this entire thing is to focus on the boys.

Sometimes, Nancy’s subtle comments remained in Steve’s chest, an unbearable weight that felt crushing.

“Eddie has plans, and they may not involve you.”

That’s what she’d said to him when he told her they were dating.

No congratulations, no friendly smile or hug, not even the expected game of 20 questions.

The words played on loop in his head as he found an excuse to leave movie night early, as he drove home, as he took a shower. 

He barely slept that night.

Nancy was right in a way; Eddie did have plans.

—-

“She what?” Eddie yelled.

“Eds-”

“No, that’s. Stevie, you know how ridiculous that is, don’t you?”

He did. 

But he also…didn’t.

It really wasn’t that ridiculous to think that maybe his boyfriend of barely a month would have plans that didn’t involve Steve.

Steve may be head over heels in love with him, but he hadn’t said that. 

“Is it?” Steve asked, not looking up at Eddie pacing in front of him.

Eddie stopped in front of him, dropping to his knees on the floor between Steve’s parted legs.

His hands gripped Steve’s knees, squeezing in silent comfort.

“Sweetheart, I know it’s hard for you to believe, but I’m all in with us. I’m not going anywhere that you can’t or don’t want to follow. If someone sends me to the moon, you better start packing your bags,” Eddie left a kiss on his thigh, looking up at Steve’s wide, glassy eyes. “I don’t think she meant to hurt you, Stevie. I’d just talked to her about the band possibly going to Chicago for a show soon and how excited we were about producers being there.”

“And if they like you guys, you’ll leave. And you should! I don’t wanna hold you back. I just was so wrapped up in the now, ya know?” 

Eddie looked up at him, eyes squinting at him for a moment before he stood up.

He sat down on the bed and pulled Steve onto him so he was straddling his thighs.

“You are more than just my now, Steve Harrington.”

Steve’s heart fluttered in his chest.

Eddie cupped his face in his hands, leaning his head down so their foreheads rested against each other.

“We’ve seen the end of the world together, we’ve seen each other at our worst, at our bruised, at our most vulnerable. You’re my entire world now, and in the future.” Eddie let out a shaky breath, something foreign for him, usually so confident in his words. “I love you. It might scare you off, but I do. I haven’t stopped picturing my future with you in it. Nothing could drag me away from you, not the band, not the kids, not myself. I’m yours, for the long haul, wherever that takes both of us.”

Steve sniffled, the tears pooling in his eyes fighting so hard to fall.

“You can’t say stuff like that,” he squeaked out.

“Why can’t I?”

“I might believe it.”

Eddie tugged him closer, one hand on the back of his head holding him against his shoulder, one arm wrapped around his waist.

“I need you to believe it, love. There is nothing that will keep me from loving you. If Vecna himself couldn’t, then Nancy’s words sure as shit won’t.”

And it could be simple.

It could.

Steve could believe it, he could say the words back, he could plan a real future with Eddie, something he’d never been able to do with anyone else.

“You’re thinking too hard,” Eddie interrupted his thoughts, his hand squeezing Steve’s hip.

Steve pulled back, looking at Eddie’s earnest face.

“I’m scared to love you the way that I do,” Steve admitted, voice barely more than a whisper.

Eddie heard him, though.

He beamed up at Steve.

“You can be scared, but you can love me anyway,” Eddie shrugged, as if it could actually be that simple.

Love was a silly thing. 

Steve felt it easily, for Robin, for the kids, for the Byers’, even Nancy still. He’d known what he felt for Eddie was love way before this conversation, but he hadn’t realized how much that love could grow when it was reciprocated.

Eddie looked at him now like he already knew, like Steve holding back wasn’t changing the fact that Steve had loved him for months now, maybe even longer.

“You can love me, Stevie. I want you to love me. Love me the way you feel,” Eddie continued.

His words cut through his heart, but in a different way than Nancy’s had.

Steve never got to love people the way he felt, always too much, always overwhelming.

His parents taught him not to be needy, let people show their love from a distance and don’t force your attention and care on them.

Nancy taught him that he couldn’t be someone else just because he wanted to love someone, that he had to accept that love wasn’t always enough for a relationship.

Eddie, though.

Eddie had taught him that there was nothing shameful about being loud with your passion, with your love. He taught him that he can’t hold back his feelings, not for anyone, especially not for himself.

He was showing him, more every day, that loving someone can and should be fulfilling.

He couldn’t be scared of loving Eddie, not when Eddie had always shown him how to be brave.

“I love you so much,” Steve gasped out.

It wasn’t the declaration he’d planned, or even wanted, but that somehow made it better for them.

Eddie’s beaming smile proved that even further.

“I’m so in love with you, I don’t know what to do with it all. I just keep thinking that one day I’ll wake up and feel less, but I just keep feeling more. I’m not good with words like you are, but I love you,” Steve added, finally gaining his voice.

“Feels good, right?”

“To love you?”

Eddie leaned up, kissed his chin, then the corner of his mouth.

“To show it to someone who wants it.”

Steve bit his lip, realizing that yeah, it did feel good. Really good.

“You’re gonna get so tired of me loving you.”

It was said as a joke, but it was his last genuine fear. The one thing that he knew always happened.

“I will never get tired of you loving me. Not for a single second. Not even when we’re old dudes sitting on our porch yelling at the kids with the loud music,” Eddie poked his side as he spoke.

“You won’t ever yell at anyone for loud music.”

“You never know. I could become a grumpy old man. Will you still love me?” Eddie pouted up at him.

“I think I’d love any version of you. Actually, I know I would.” “And you say I’m the sappy one.”