#and that shit that bs it's insulting what we are it's insulting our history and who we are
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I have come across way too many people defending cannibalism on Tumblr since I have been there. Wtf
#DO NOT TRY TO FUCKING DEBATE THE MORALITY OF CANNIBALISM ON THIS POST LIKE FUCK OFF#like wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf#the human body is in continuity to its mind we associate the body with the human#that's why there are so many laws to protect dead bodies because it's not an object it's a person#and we have funerals and graveyards for the living so we can grieve the ones who left#humans have a very complex view of death in comparison to any other living beings#I could talk for hours about Death and Humankind#and that shit that bs it's insulting what we are it's insulting our history and who we are#it's insulting humankind#this is someone they had dreams they had loved ones who will cry them show some respect to the corpse of your human sibling#wtf wtf wtf#I'm literally studying and working to dedicate my life to study the relationship of humans with death and this makes me insane
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So during the entire bs SAS perpetuates, we are supposed to strike "endogenic" from our language because of past bad use. Yet SAS straight up calls you dumb, as if dumb doesn't have a whole ass history of shitty ableism surrounding it? Like, if anyone didn't take this shit as bad faith in the first place, please do so now.
Also, this whole thing comes back to how the fantasy model was bad for plurals right? Does SAS even know why the fantasy model is bad? It's because the fantasy model systemically dismissed plurals to ignore or minimize their experiences. Which is exactly what SAS loves to do.
-Faye
This was from May and I chose not to post it at the time because I didn't want to escalate a debate about etymology into ad hominems and personal attacks.
That's usually SAS's job. (As seen above.)
But I happened to be browsing my old asks during a period where the endogenic term discourse has been brought back full force, and SAS is being called out for, among other things, using ableist insults in calling people "unhinged."
And it's the last reason that I feel this needs addressed now, because SAS will naturally try to minimize it and SAS's friends and supporters will downplay and ignore it.
This is not simply a one-time thing though. Using ableist insults is a consistent pattern of behavior for SAS.
And yes, it is incredibly hypcritical from the system who invented the endogenic term discourse, has spent the past two years trying to convince people the word endogenic is ableist, to casually toss around ableist insults towards everyone they disagree with.
Someone legitimately concerned with the supposed ableism of us calling ourselves endogenic wouldn't be casually calling people unhinged and dumbasses.
Their arguments are not and never have been in good faith.
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I'm so beyond fed up of non-American's in countries that have never dealt with American interference in their government bullshitting about how they are "personally effected by American politics" so they think they have the right to tell American's to vote for Biden. Canadians have the nerve to pull this shit, because they are so illiterate of their own history they think US Republicans are at fault for their racism problem.
If I see another person from the UK claim this, I might figure out away to punch someone though their computer screen. Australians are the weirdest with this lie since you'd think they'd have more a problem with the UK. Another bs excuse I see is but but but our politicians do what yours tell them to!! IDK try voting for someone with a spine? Maybe spend time talking about and too your politicians instead of being so narcissistic you think you have the right to tell Americans how to vote? If I see one more tag on a post about genocide from a non-American making completely bullshit excuses about "sure genocide is bad but I support it because . . . ." I'm going to throw them into the sun. I'm not surprised to see so many Europeans pretending to be against genocide while telling Americans why we should support it, but you'd think they'd feel some shame about it.
If Americans spent this much time telling non-Americans how to vote y'all would spend days making rage posts about how bad and evil Americans are. In fact some of us tried to warn Brits about how their politicians were using Republican tactics with Brexit and Brits flipped the fuck out. The insults went on for days. We weren't even telling them to do something like support genocide, just a hey be careful we recognize these tactics. But the response was intensely hostile. Yet Americans are just supposed to shut up and let random people tell us how to vote.
The people of Palestine are currently being directly impacted by US politics and they aren't asking us to vote for Biden. I'm going to listen to them over some random who thinks hearing about something on the news means they are personally impacted.
#Anyone that responds to this with 'but Trump' gets blocked#I only talk to adults online not children who support 'lesser evils'#democrats#us politics#us elections
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Hey sorry if this is a dumb question, but what's "the potato" thing about in regards to scott? Like is that actually an expression i just don't know or something like that?
Yeah, there’s a long history of people using it as an insult most commonly targeting people with Down’s Syndrome and mocking associations between intelligence and facial characteristics that assholes associated with looking ‘dopey’ and shit like that. Saying they look like a potato, with this same phrasing coming up in a ton of descriptions of Scott in fics, not just physically, but in the specific context of the facial expressions he makes, how he looks when reacting to something other characters are saying or is ‘thinking hard,’ etc.
While I understand its not a term everyone is familiar with or immediately knows the history of, and some people no doubt did start picking up its usage in regards to Scott due to others commonalizing that trend in fandom, like, there is no escaping the reality that it only got introduced in fandom in the first place by people who fully knew exactly what they were referencing with that and were trying to create the exact same standard of mockery towards Scott, his intelligence and his supposed dopey expressions.
Like, its a very specific word and phrasing with a very specific context in how its used in this fandom, which just so happens to be the exact same context in which its been used to target specific people in general, and that doesn’t just happen on accident. You don’t accidentally stumble into the same offensive usage of the same word in unrelated contexts, especially when the aim in both cases is to be either outright offensive, or ‘at best’ patronizingly derogatory. As if there’s even a difference.
And a lot of Scott fans spent literal years calling out its widespread usage in fandom, only for people to double down on its usage while hiding behind the BS ‘well its not like we knew it was offensive so obviously we weren’t trying to offend while using it and blah blah blah a lot of horse shit that is blatantly contradicted by our continued insistence on both using it, and ‘accidentally’ framing it as derogatory while doing so.”
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Recruited: Chapter 11
[Another chapter in the books! This one runs parallel in time to the last (which will be pretty obvious) and has a little more action! So enjoy, have fun, etc.
And don’t forget: you can find the rest of this series and soem of my other BS for this blog here!]
Nabooru
Their trio of space pods burst through Noya's atmosphere and slammed into the surface, a triangle of craters left in their wake. Nabooru replaced her scouter on the side of her face, a press of the button causing the yellow characters to flash across the orange glass as it started back up. She opened up the door and floated out of her pod, touching down on the maroon dirt. A teal, creeping vegetation sprawled over it as far as the eye could see. In the distance, she noted the silhouette of a city or village and a range of mountains beyond it.
She stretched and glanced to her side as Nappa and Raditz joined her, both working out the kinks in their own joints from the long trip. "Awfully quiet here. Where do you think that team is? Hope they didn't kick the bucket before we got here," Nappa said, popping his knuckles. "Maybe it means we'll get a good fight out of these guys if they're calling in reinforcements."
The repetitive pings of a scan sounded from Raditz's scouter. "I wouldn't get my hopes up," the other Saiyan replied, turning around to check the other direction. "I'm not getting a single reading, save for five decent ones off in that direction."
He nodded opposite the mountain range. "Make that three."
Nabooru raised an eyebrow and began her own scan, Nappa following suit with a huff. "You're fucking with us. Why the hell would we be called here if they didn't need us?"
"No, he's right. I'm only getting those three readings, too. That must be the team we're meant to rendezvous with."
Raditz flew up several meters and gazed around. "Looks like something went down over there," he called down to them. "Might have been a settlement or something. Doesn't look like there's much left now."
"Let's go check it out. Something feels off here."
Nabooru followed Raditz and Nappa to the site of what could have potentially been a compound of sorts, a decent sized village, or something else entirely. The damage sustained in the area made it difficult to tell, the edifices reduced to little more than a half foot of wall at best. Scorch marks and craters dotted the area, and they could hardly walk a few feet without finding a corpse or the remnants of one. Each had a variant of blue skin, ranging from near white hues to navy. A few wore what she guessed were plain clothes, while most sported a sort of white armor. Soldiers. Most of the bodies were heavily mutilated, physically torn or shot with concentrated ki blasts to pieces, others sporting deep gashes as if from claws. Maroon soil was stained with emerald blood. Fresh.
"I thought I recognized that power level." Nappa squatted down next to a corpse missing every limb. The lower half of its skull had been crushed as if beneath someone's foot. "Looks like Shikoo and his team's work, don't you think, Raditz?"
"Seems that way. Doesn't seem like they need our help, though. And they never have before." His frown deepened. "Maybe it's some kind of trap."
Raditz vocalized Nabooru's growing fear as each piece of evidence seemed to confirm the theory. "Who's Shikoo?" she asked, turning her attention from the massacre and back toward the direction in which their scouters pinged the readings. Two of the power levels weren't much and would hardly be a challenge for even Raditz. But the third was more powerful, and while only around Nappa's power level, her insides squirmed. Why would they be sent here if this team had everything under control? Was there some secret of this planet they weren't privy to that presented a danger they couldn't handle?
"One of Frieza's favorites, and I'm sure you can see why. What the guy lacks in power he makes up for in brutality and dirty tricks," Nappa told her, folding his arms over his chest. "Makes us Saiyans look soft. But I'm sure you've seen the guy. He's bigger than me, looks like a cross between some kind of reptile and a dog. Red fur and scales. Loud and brags constantly."
Nabooru's brow furrowed and she clicked her tongue. "Mm, yes I've seen him around the base once in a while. Never considered him important enough to learn his name, especially after he and his idiots tried to force themselves on me back when I first started on the force." The corner of her lips quirked upward in a malicious smirk. "He didn't take being turned down very well. But I took care of him and made it clear he should leave me alone."
Raditz chuckled. "Good. The blowhard deserves all the beatings that come to him. Especially for that shit. Nappa and I may have heckled you for a romp in the sack, but he's so full of himself, of course he would try to force his ugly ass on you. I hope these guys took him down a peg or two."
"Confirms the rumors anyway," huffed Nappa. "Guy's disgusting. Pretty pathetic when you gotta resort to force to get off. Guess he ain't much of a charmer, no surprise there."
She kept her surprise about their stance on rape to herself. Considering the violent nature and disregard for life, their history of taking what they wanted by force, rape didn't seem like it would be far off the table for them. Both the Saiyans with her had taken her refusals without much hassle, so she supposed it shouldn't have with at least these two. A point of respect for them, at least, considering the rampant trouble they had with men attempting such with her people back home. As a race of all females and how their style of dress revealed far more skin than Hylian garb, men had a sense of entitlement to Gerudo women, and seemed to believe that meant they were asking for it.
"I suppose we should contact Frieza," she said at last, reaching up to her scouter and selecting the proper channel. "Let him know what we found and what we're meant to do instead."
Once the scouter connected successfully, Frieza greeted her before she could open her mouth to speak: "Ah, what good timing, Nabooru. You have landed on planet Noya and met with the other team there?"
"Yes, my lord. But we are confused. When we landed, we found the planet had already been successfully purged of its in--"
"Yes, yes, I am aware of the success in purging the planet. The instructions to rendezvous with the soldiers sent to Noya were...purposefully vague. The task for you and the Saiyans is to kill that team. Don't worry your pretty head over why, dear. It's unbecoming of a soldier. Their punishment has been a long time coming."
He broke the connection before she could confirm her understanding, but by the questioning expressions in her comrades' faces, her own revealed her opinion on the troublesome news. Surprised wasn't the right word for what she felt. Frieza was known for orders that felt out of place or cruel. Unwarranted and harsh. But piecing together their situation, Nappa's words, and the fact that they had been split from Vegeta only further impressed upon her a sinking feeling of dread. She less suspected a trap for them than viewing it all as one for Vegeta, a "favorite" of Frieza's like Shikoo. Or if it was one for them, was this a precursor to the orders Vegeta would be handed? To end his team and allies in the rebellion they plotted?
"What'd he say?" Nappa asked at last, snapping her out of a spiral of paranoia and back to the task at hand.
"He means for us to kill Shikoo and his crew."
"Really?" Raditz's brow furrowed. "What did they do?"
"He didn't say. Just that their punishment was a long time coming."
The Saiyans exchanged a look of disbelief with a hint of concern. Nabooru wondered if they considered the same possibilities as her. If they wondered if some other team or Vegeta and Frieza themselves lay in wait to off them, too. As much as she wanted to ask, she didn't know who could be listening. And they had a job to do. If anything followed this, they would have to face it once they dealt with Shikoo and his cronies. The memory of them offering to help her find her way back to the barracks and then cornering her, how they tried to touch her anywhere they could reach and tugged her hair, their taunting words from how pretty she was and how good she probably felt to insulting her lack of control of her ki yet. Maybe she didn't back then, but her strength proved enough to subdue the three of them and send them to the hospital ward. She escaped their disgusting behavior, but how many hadn't, if what Nappa said rang true?
Back then, she still tried to cling to her no killing rule for her sanity and her ignorance to the sort of backlash killing fellow soldiers would have. But now she not only had permission, she had the will to do it. If not only for her own revenge, but for the horrors they inflicted on others, too. This time, she wouldn't hold back. She didn't have to.
Three scouters beeped to signal approaching power levels, and Nabooru couldn't help but snort as the hulking beast Shikoo and his cohorts landed before them.
"Come to see how real soldiers work, apes?" Shikoo grinned at Nappa and Raditz, showing off sharp, yellowing teeth in his elongated, canine-like muzzle. A forked tongue flicked out to taste the air. "Where's your diminutive leader, huh? Someone finally give the prince with no subjects the licking he deserves?"
His cohorts snickered and Nabooru noticed Nappa's fists and jaw tighten with the flare of his temper. "You idiots won't be laughing in a minute." The Saiyan general smirked and cracked his knuckles. "I've been waiting for a chance to stomp you."
The smaller two--an orange skinned male with a too-blonde Mohawk and a weedy, birdlike soldier with beady black eyes--shifted in obvious discomfort under Nappa's threat, but Shikoo remained unperturbed. "Please. You wouldn't dare. Not with my favor with Frieza. The alliance my people have is too precious for him to allow a couple monkeys to pick a fight with me."
Nabooru snorted, but his claims had her mind shifting back to her people. The fate of the Saiyans. "That explains a lot. But too bad for you, Frieza seems to think killing you is more important than whatever deal you and your people have with the empire."
Yellow eyes snapped to her, slit pupils dilating for a moment in recognition. His hackles rose and hair surrounding a line of spikes along his back stood on end. His aggravation melted back to sick amusement and he laughed. "Well, well. I remember you. Come crawling back for that fun I promised you after all, huh?" His attention fell back to Nappa and Raditz. "Taking orders from women now? You Saiyans really are a joke. Guess it is a step up from short, angry, and overcompensating. Easier to look at, too."
"Can we get this over with? This guy's voice is making me sick," Raditz complained. "I'll take the two wimps in the back alone if I have to."
"You're still on that?! What did I tell you?!" Shikoo snarled. "Frieza will have your heads if you try anything!"
"And what did I tell you? Frieza himself sent us here to kill you." A smirk curled Nabooru's lips and she turned her attention to Nappa and Raditz. "You mind if I take him? I'm really kicking myself for not finishing him off all those years ago."
Nappa huffed and folded his arms, making a show of his indignance. "Damn, guess I can't argue with that. Much as I wanna bury this mutt myself, I think you've got a bigger stake." He nudged Raditz. "You take the orange one and I got bird brain." Without waiting for a response, the larger of the two surged forward and slammed his leg into his opponent's side, sending him sailing with a squawk. The general laughed and swept after him. "Try and make this fun for me, birdie!"
Raditz shot a series of magenta blasts toward the other minion who, more prepared for the onslaught than his companion, dodged backward nimbly and blocked what he couldn't with raised arms. "Give him a few good ones for me, won't you Nabs?" He shot her a wry grin and pursued his opponent with ruthless abandon.
“Stupid move on their part, leaving you alone with me,” Shikoo snarled, vicious grin back on his mug. “You don’t have the stomach to kill me. I saw it in your eyes then, and I’m sure you’ll falter again now. And that’s when I’ll finish what I started all those years ago. Maybe I’ll make your monkey friends watch.”
Nabooru rolled her eyes skyward. “Please. I feel so bad for you, I’ll give you a free first hit.” She beckoned him with her index finger. “Come on, big guy. Let’s see if you can do more than just flap your ugly mouth.”
As she hoped, Shikoo snarled at her taunt and lunged. Black claws extended outward and he swiped them toward her throat. Nabooru’s hand shot up and she grasped his wrist, her hand barely covering half of its circumference. He grunted and struggled against her strength. “So you’re a whore and a filthy liar…”
Her grip tightened, and bones crunched beneath her hand. “I’ve kind of proven the first one wrong by turning you down, haven’t I?” She caught his opposite fist. Her smirk widened when his eyes flashed in rage. “But I suppose you’re right about the liar thing.”
"I'll kill you, bitch!" he roared, tugging back in an attempt to free himself.
She held fast, orange energy flaring up around her. After a few more tugs, she released him, forcing him to stumble backward when he lost his balance. Nabooru shot forward and buried her fist in his scaled belly. Shikoo wheezed and doubled over. Head at her level, Nabooru wheeled back and kneed him in the face with bone-crunching force, whipping his head back and sending him wheeling backward once more. Blue blood oozed from his nose and mouth.
"This has been fun." Shikoo seethed as he raised his head again and spat blood on her boots. He shook with his rage, and Nabooru only wished Nappa and Raditz had remained with his crew to witness his embarrassment. She flexed her hand, forming a cylinder of ki in her palm. She wrapped her fingers around it like a hilt and willed it outward, curving and widening it into the shape of a blade similar to those she favored back home. "But I'm tired of playing. You're not really worth breaking a sweat over."
Using his shock at the sight of her ki blade, she shot forward again. She swept the blade downward, tip aimed at the ground between his feet. She brought it back up in a swift arc, between his legs and through his skull, splitting him vertically in half. His responding punch halted mid-swing, and his body fell apart with a stomach-churning squelch and a pair of thuds as each half fell to the ground.
"Geez, Nabs. Did you have to go crotch up? You made me cringe."
Her ki blade dissipated and she rested her hands on her hips. She turned to face Nappa as Raditz rejoined them, neither appearing to have taken too much damage. Raditz looked slightly ruffled with a bloody lip, but otherwise, both defeated Shikoo's goons without issue. "Of course. A disgusting bastard like him deserves it. If I wasn't supposed to kill him, I might have stopped at around his belly button."
Raditz wiped his mouth and grumbled. "Has anyone told you you're terrifying? You've been around Vegeta too long."
"I didn't realize you two were so squeamish," Nabooru snorted. She glanced at Shikoo's split corpse, the glee from her victory short lived as she remembered his claims. How Vegeta was within the tyrant’s clutches and, if Frieza knew what they planned, could be in danger.
"Speaking of Vegeta, what do you think Frieza has him doing?" A subtle attempt to probe their thoughts on the matter while potentially gaining some reassurance. "He's done this before right?"
“Sure. And I didn’t realize you were such a worrywart.” Nappa and Raditz exchanged knowing glances. “I thought Vegeta was just messing with us, but you two really are up to more than just training when you’re left alone with free time, huh?”
Her posture stiffened and heat rushed to her cheeks. “What is that supposed to mean?” She narrowed her eyes and marched over to them. Their grins only widened and she prodded both of them in the chest with her index fingers. “Just because the two of you can’t keep it in your battle suits doesn’t mean we’re a couple of horny teenagers who can’t handle being alone together. We actually want to get stronger unlike you slackers.”
“I have noticed he’s been in a better mood than normal once in a while,” added Raditz, ignoring her. “Sort of confirms that his smug attitude when he told us ‘maybe, maybe not’ last time we asked wasn’t just him messing with us.”
“Makes him a damn hypocrite though. He told us to quit trying. Guess he didn’t want to share.”
“We’re not sleeping together! Ever! Not even once!” Nabooru could kick that idiot for basically bragging to the other two Saiyans. She had faith neither of them would spread it around whether they believed it or not, but their insistence still pissed her off. “We train. That’s it.”
“It’s not a big deal. In fact, I approve. It’s about time the two of you got laid.” Nabooru slapped Nappa’s hand away before he could plop it on her shoulder. He winced. “Besides, it’s beneficial for us all because, like Raditz said, it puts Vegeta in a better mood for a little while. We all win.”
“Maybe he’s just in a better mood because you two aren’t bothering him as much.” She flipped around on her heel. “Can we please just get out of here? Seeing that ugly bastard again did nothing for my mood, and if you two keep this up, I’ll do the same to you as I did to him and make up the most embarrassing stories for your deaths I can think of.”
She heard the two snigger, but they joined her in flight without more of their incessant teasing. It at least distracted her from her paranoia and concern for the prince’s wellbeing outside of the usual sort of abuse or inanity he would suffer in Frieza’s company. A premature assumption, perhaps, but she decided to take at least Nappa’s lack of concern as a good sign. Or enough of one to keep her from fretting until she knew otherwise.
#fic: recruited#tw: rape mention#tw: violence#probably not my best work here#but it was fun to write#nabs beign a bad bish is always good
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Hyena parrot sandpaper sounding man.
long story. tl;dr at the end.
I used to work in a shop. Where any Important person came into the building you are supposed to announce it.
The thing about our shop is that we had sooo much foot traffic we only announced our big boss. When it happened everyone in the building stands up at attention till you hear the words “At ease,”
He would be the equivalent of someone who is head of a department, like let’s say shipping in Amazon.
I worked nights, and it’s relatively quiet. My friend loved to make an effort to entertain himself by fake announcing our boss entering the building. I never ever took what he said for granted. I would always stood at attention.
He would come in every time and laugh like crazy. His laugh was piecing, like a loud dying hyena who had a pet parrot who would repeat the noise only louder. When his laugh died down he sounded like sandpaper to wood.
This went on for about 2 months. I put up with it everyday. Every time I would just give him the sarcastic “Oh man your so good, you got me!”
He was a big fan of also talking trash one of his favorite one liners between his hyena parrot sandpaper laugh was “You think I would actually announce that fool?” More ear bleeding laughter.
Now I wasn’t a real fan of our boss not many were, but it was just how strict he was. He demanded the best from us. Honestly that’s a good trait to have.
I respected our boss, and didn’t enjoy listening to hyena parrot boy trash talk the boss.
One day after he comes in, and of course he fake announces the boss. I stand up as usual. I see him walking into the office. For some reason his laugh was even worse today. Perhaps I didn’t sleep well or I woke up wrong. I have no idea what.
I had enough of his crap. “STFU your damn shit laugh and the way you talk like you have 6 dicks in your mouth. Shut the hell up damnit!”
He is taken back by this. He thinks, and says “Yo man I’m just joking with your ass. Bitch can’t take a joke.” Queue sandpaper cackle.
My blood is on fire right now, but I look at him with a straight face. “Yea you know what brooootttthhheeerrr I cant I’ll work on it.”
He gives me a suspicious look and walks into a different room. I decided then and there that I would do exactly to him what he is doing to me. Even mimic his laugh as well.
Next day I initiate. He stands up at attention I walk into the office and laugh so sarcastically I sound like a hyena with constipation. My face is beat read my eyes poped out as I stare right into his eyes.
His starts to get furious. “OHHH you thinking your a F-ing funny man huh? Is that supposed to be my laugh? Your Shit joke ain’t funny boy. You’s just a lill bitch.”
All I say is “Right.” I walk into my office, get on the computer and check my email. My direct boss sent me an email telling me to make sure my shift is squared away as the big boss is coming by next week for “Morale checks”.
I still don’t know why they called it that, but that’s what they say. My face turned into a wide smile the grinch would be jealous at the grin I had. I’m going to do this every day more than once if I can up to next week.
I become ruthless one day I think I did it five times more absurd than the last. It only took him 3 days before he stopped even standing up. Then came the massive insults. Real, real bad insults.
I can’t even repeat them. Basically the more I did it the more racist slurs he would throw around to me and towards the boss. Day before the big event.
I initiate the joke, he flys off the handle he doesn’t even give me time to walk in. He runs towards me and just starts to shout in my face. Spit flying left and right. I thought it was raining. After he is done ranting. All I say is “Ok I’ll stop.”
“ That’s right you lill bitch you might be in charge of this shift but I own this building. No N-word messes with me.”
All I could think is damn American History X over here. At this point my excitement for what’s about to happen is almost over flowing. I’m so excited I’m afraid I’m going to blow my cover.
Mind you I didn’t say a word to him about our boss coming in, and no one else on shift was willing to talk to him the last few weeks, because he is loosing his shit.
The day has comes. It’s night Im checking the window every 5 minutes for the boss arrival. Finally he shows up.
I look at Mr Hyena and tell him to get the phones I need to go outside. He scoffs his way to the desk and I start to walk away. “I’m not going to fall for your (input real messed up phrase).”
I go outside and greet our boss. I tell him it’s good to see him, and he shakes my hand. I walk into the building and make the announcement. Before the boss can say anything.
All you can hear is loud banging sound things being thrown and a ton of yelling. “You think I’m going to fall for that OP?? I’m not dumb it’s clear you were going to do some stupid BS like that. You think that lazy N-word Boss is going to ever come here.”
I should mention that our boss is African American. He came from the Ivory Coast to the USA , when he was 2 years old.
I look at my boss face, and it had the composure I have never seen before. He clears his throat and yells. “AT EASE.”
The building fall silent so quiet the dead themselves could be heard. Boss walks to the counter. The look on Hyenas face. Was worth more than than all the gold in the world. I felt like I had been starving for a month and the grandest meal was just placed in front of me.
Boss “Hello hyena how are you tonight?”
Hyena “g..go..good sir how are you.”
Boss “I’m well thanks a little tired but well.”
Hyena “Sir I’m sooo sorry I thought...”
Boss “I’m here to see how moral is going nothing more. By the looks of it it’s bad. What can I do to help?”
Unless things are real bad in your shop. One of the basic unspoken rules is,you don’t say a word to the big boss about anything. You deal with it at the lowest level possible.
OP “Sir we are ok here no problems we can’t deal with at our level.”
Boss”I see.... well if you do have anything I can fix let me know.” He walks around the building talking to the few others on shift.
He comes back to the counter. “Hyena can I talk to you in this officer over here please?”
They walk into the office and are in there for over 6 hours. Just before shift ends. The boss leaves, and Hyenas face looked drained.
He told me that no matter how many times he tried to apologize to the Boss he would get interrupted. Telling Hyena that he isn’t allowed to talk.
Boss spent 6 hours telling him different stories of African Americans who struggled to find a better life.
I don’t know many people who could have held their military bearing as well as the boss did, but it was impressive and inspiring.
The next night at work Hyena was not there. My direct boss said Hyena was moved to days no information given.
Fast forward about a month latter hyena went from E-3 to E-2 and lost his pay for 2 months. Latter dishonorably discharged, for being caught with weed and spice. The two punishments were not related.
tl:dr Friend becomes annoying and causes problems on shift. Gets caught by the boss only to be forced to listen to his stories for 6 hours. Gets demoted and eventually dishonorably discharged.
Incase you don’t know spice is artificial weed.
After that incident my shift ran perfect for a month and a half after that. The story on how all that crumbled will be my next story for you all.
(source) (story by Darigone)
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2018-03-19 19 FUNNY now
FUNNY
Awkward Family Photos
Shoes To Fill
Two And A Half Men
In Your Face
Blowing Off Steam
Two Hilarious Moms Model The Medieval Undergarments They Wear Now That They’ve Had Kids
Babylon Bee
Larry-Boy Confirmed For ‘Avengers: Infinity War’
Ultrasound Shows Unborn Baby Holding ‘Keep Your Laws Off My Body’ Sign
Aides Gently Inform Trump He Can’t Fire Portrait Of George Washington
Worship Leader No Longer Able To Fit Giant Head Through Sanctuary Doors
BuzzFeed Acquires The Gospel Coalition
McSweenys
List: Everything We Currently Know About Sleep
Notes On a Postgrad Gig at SLRP, the World’s First No-Frills, Zero-BS, Direct-to-Consumer, Bespoke Straws Company
Why Women’s Bodies Are Bad for Women
Norse History for Bostonians: A Short History of the Icelandic Conversion to Christianity for Bostonians: Part III
The Entry for WebMD On WebMD
Passive Aggressive Notes
Coming soon, from Pixar…
Donna, bring a sweater
You can’t spare three squares?
Happy Birthday, and see you soon! xoxo, Cancer
Namaste, asshole.
Reddit Funny
If you have a bad day
A note that my little cousin left for his dad.
The Signs that our Local Fire Dept. puts up...
Fuck. your. shit.
Calm ur tit
Reddit Humor
Man found the love of his life but Couldn't Married her
Life Can Sure Be a Beach!
When you can't afford a lift ticket
Sketch -- The Money Mugger
British guy takes part in a hilarious Impractical Jokers-style game
Sad and Useless
Funny Surgical Masks
This Month’s Funniest Internet Finds
I Wish Someone Would Look At Me The Way Dogs Look At Food
15 Ridiculous Paintings That Sold For Millions of Dollars
Things That Totally Look Like Butts
The Blogess
I need a lot of pills.
Amazon knows me too well and it’s insulting and also costing me money.
I don’t know how things work, part eleventy thousand
I think I found what I want on my tombstone.
Why are there penises all over the garage: an attempted explanation
The Hard Times
How Can Racism Still Exist When It Was Defeated by Ska in 1998?
TV Show’s Lifeless Corpse Continues to Limp Along Years After Death
Rescued Three-Legged Dog Finds New Purpose as Conversation Starter
Water in Shitty New Game Looks Beautiful
The Best Places to Throw up This Weekend Before the St. Patrick’s Day Posers Get to Them
The Onion
Ford Recalls 1.4 Million Cars Because Their Steering Wheels Might Come Off
Rick Perry Apologizes For Trying To Outdo Fellow Cabinet Members By Using $72 Million Of Taxpayer Funds On Lampshade
Donald Trump Jr. Divorce Leaves Confused, Heartbroken Nation Wondering Why Bad Things Happen To Good People
Teach For America Celebrates 3 Decades Of Helping Recent Graduates Pad Out Law School Applications
Subpoenaed Trump Organization Financial Documents Reveal Company’s Only Holding Is Single Dairy Queen In New Jersey
Whiskey Leaks
Science Explains Why Tide Pods Taste Like Cilantro To Some, Soap To Others
Cummy Bears? Say “I Love You” This Valentines Day With Candy Made From Your Essence
Redskins’ Owner Unveils Newly Acquired Team Logo
Self-Driving Uber Suspended After Touching Self In Front of Female Passenger
OP-ED: A Man Can’t Even Hug A Female Now Without Her Noticing That He’s Raping Her
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Hmm.
Your rule of thumb is correct.
While I am ignorant of much of the history of the world, I am not ignorant of the history I have seen and witnessed.
We have a white supremacy problem in America. This problem is not solely intertwined with Nazis and neo confederates.
This problem is everywhere in our society.
It has been and it was designed this way.
Yes, I'll say it, white people are a villain historically in the world.
Are they the only ones, of course not.
Butbtheir actions, whether purposeful or not, have created the world we live in.
I do not live in some hellish part of America. I live in New England. And like New England, the rest of America has interilized racism and classism.
White people will always be racist. And we must take the steps to evolve. I realize this sentence will strike a lot of you.
"Always racist?!"
Yes.
Is that comforting? God no. But something we need to deal with until history and a modern day society can prove me utterly and completely wrong.
The kicker here is, I didn't come up with that phrase. That's was explained to me by someone of a non white heritage. And then another and another.
This post isn't against white people for the color of their skin. This post is against white people for their attitude and actions.
Racism is about power.
And if you think me, a girl on tumblr is the only way for you to argue, and ignore a basic fact with? Gosh, you are part of the problem.
White lives matter too much.
As in they are held to a higher standard.
This topic started, started in the beginning, as me witnessing some white asshole telling some native dude to
"Go back where he came from"
And it devolved into world history and societal issues.
And yes, I am partly to blame for that. I won't deny it. I ain't perfect and god when you get dozens of notes from the original statement telling you you're a racist and the grammar bs, yeah it can be easy to fall for it and go HAM.
So yeah, fine, you think I'm a racist? Ok fine. We are all guilty of racism.
White supremacy both passive and aggressive, needs to stop. Full stop. That's the rage I have within me that started this entire post.
White peoples as a race are guilty by historical situations.
I'm not saying Phil at CVS is guilty of slave trade in the past. But he lives in a world built upon it.
And we need to fix this. Because that is our job. You don't want to do it? Fine, you become a part of the Job for the rest of us.
Keep insulting me and telling me I don't know things. There's a shit ton of knowledge I don't know.
But I know hatred and I know racism and I know genocide. And I want to do what I can to stop it.
And for those of you that follow the hashtag "white people". Maybe unfollow it. Because that's how a lot of you came here
White lives matter far too much than they should
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As we swing into a crucial moment in this country’s history, where criminality, dressed as political right, media barons and global demagogue corporations arrogantly swing their infinite pockets to persuade a population dazed, bedazzled and bamboozled into voting their own turkey minds for Christmas, a day of reckoning awaits.
Well chosen useful idiots proclaim to a suckered audience through their screens, handheld to revoltingly cinema sized their lifelong adherence to Labour will now be cast on the Tory shit pile. A demonstration of crass lunacy at play cannot be found. Yet if truth be told, since it emanates from a toxic propagandised media outlet, be it BBC,ITV or C4 is as manipulated as the swift fiver trousered by the dullard liars.
Socialism has become a term of insult. Same as truth has become the benchmark of lies and vice versa. Creating terrorism on the streets of the UK is seen as a useful tool of the fascist right. They have so many covers as to make winter an impenetrable possibility.
Blatant lies never confronted, yet Labour truths, ambitions and fairness slaughtered on the altar of convenience and slurry.
These words may resonate with the opened eyed, the aspirations of generations asphyxiated by denial, untruth, self serving greed and arrogance shut down at every turn.
It is imperative to band together, To face this behemoth of bullshit. Wherever possible to have an opportunity to kill the Tory vote we must take it, even if we have to hold our noses. The alternative is handing these bastards another 5 years to utterly destroy what are the remnants of life as we would wish it.
Their front line, as I have always stated that must be taken down, is the media. Today’s headlines tell everything:
In the 70s I started my career working for all these titles. I left Fleet Street not long after, aware of the lies, BS and manure they pumped into fallible minds even then. I then swam in the heady, lucrative, toxic waters of an advertising industry flooded with money in the 80s oblivious to rampant criminality carried on behind my ignorance. As a puppet and obfuscation tool, not to say mind bending control over a population unaware and gullible, it worked to perfection.
Today, having long passed through this sewer, awake to the reality show they play us, I am righteously angry at each and every travesty perpetrated, honed and inflicted on a world, through open eyes, gone mad. That madness is not as it ought to be. It is a madness induced by so many decades of mind control, propagandised diversionary tactics and bloody deception as to be able in these last days to inflict the coup de grace.
Only we in our millions can stop it. Do not believe the cards are stacked against us. YET MORE LIES FED US! Where our own constituency seat is too far gone to win for sanity, be tactical – vote the Conservatives out – any vote for them is suicide for all of us.
Blair and his efforts were at the behest of the right wing oligarchs. The AS stain thrown at Corbyn and Labour is merely their only ammo and dud at that, as it is so full of Zionist intentional BS as to be laughable. To believe a lifelong pacifist and warrior of anti racism to be other is to allow any critical thinking to be doused.
Our economy is so deep in the pits only a total reset is the answer.
People cry – Where does the money come from, then?
Ohn ye of so little knowledge! Money is, has and always will be, under this present model, created from nowhere, out of nothing. How it is then serviced makes it valued, workable and efficient. Donating it back to the failed banks serves no one except the criminals. Lubricating a restart, energising industry, new ventures serves the people.
Whoever gets into power this December will be able to benefit from the biggest fraud perpetrated on the people both nationally and more widely globally. When that happens a minimum of £1.2 trillion will begin to be released back into the economy, whether we remain or leave.
Our banks will be held to account and adjusted to serve rather than fleece. Over 11.5 million mortgages will become null and void and many already paid off able to reclaim all their paid in funds.
It would be fatal for the Tories to harvest such benefit. Better a progressive, for the Many not the Few to have that as a stirrup to not only raise the impoverished up but set the dial for a far fairer system of governance, economy and social care.
The Day Injustice and Criminality Is Arrested and Sent Down Labour's Time for Change As we swing into a crucial moment in this country's history, where criminality, dressed as political right, media barons and global demagogue corporations arrogantly swing their infinite pockets to persuade a population dazed, bedazzled and bamboozled into voting their own turkey minds for Christmas, a day of reckoning awaits.
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So I’m writing this out mainly as a catharsis for myself, but if anyone gains any insights or experience from this, I will be glad because fuck it. I’m older than a decent amount of ya’ll and at a different place in my life, so I’m just going to say what I have to say.
Today is my last official day at a job that I’ve worked at for the past [over] two years. It was at an amazing organization that had huge potential to do really, really good work. The basic premise of the organization was to spread STEM education around the world through robotics and organizing a yearly robotics “olympics”.
However, over the course of the two years I worked there, I experienced 3 different bosses, all of whom were crappy in their own ways - one was an angry ex-Navy admiral who led primarily through fear, the other was a bumbling man who didn’t really do much of anything except hinder our work and make me specifically feel excluded and left out and the third just started and had no idea how to treat people who had given this organization everything for the past 2 years.
The staff was, until I left, 5 people pulling off this massive event, doing pretty much everything. The founder is an eccentric billionaire who surrounds himself with sycophants who do his bidding and use his name to boss people around and belittle them, and frankly, it just didn’t work. It’s the story of many non-profits who start out doing amazing work and instead end up in a bureaucratic mess. This is literally the worst case scenario for any non-profit.
All this to say, I gave everything to this organization. 150%. We each took on more and more responsibilities, while continuously being put down, insulted and treated like mushrooms (kept in the dark and fed shit). They hired a new person that works from home and paid her more than us. Bonuses? Pathetic. Hiring people to replace employees that had been fired or left? Nah - instead they piled on more and more work onto the five of us with no growth, no better treatment, nothing.
Did they ever establish a vacation or sick day policy? Absolutely not. Did someone try? Yep, and they were immediately shot down. Honestly, other than the kids that I worked with and the amazing teams, I don’t know what I got out of this job. It was good work...but it wasn’t worth the mental, emotional and frankly physical toll it took on my body.
I’m sick now. Exceptionally sick. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, and I can’t really find out until June. I have all the markers of an autoimmune disorder, and with my family history, there is a very high chance that I have one, and I know this job was the trigger that jumpstarted it. I became bitter and angry. Relationships suffered. I don’t know when I’ve been on an actual vacation. I put in my two weeks’ notice and also asked for a week of PTO during those two weeks and my boss said “no, I’m going to be in the office all next week [he works from home too, ofc], and we’re going to need you every one of those days in the office to get all the information from you” - we spoke once. One day out of the week. I gave up my spring break for that bs.
However, quitting has been amazing. So many new opportunities have opened up. I might get my dream fellowship for next year. I might get my dream clerkship for the summer. I already have a consultancy position lined up so I’m not hurting for money in between everything... a position I didn’t know I would have when I put in my notice. I know I’m lucky for that and not everyone would end up in that position, but I can’t begin to tell you how liberating quitting is.
You always think you’re just stuck and until you just don’t think you can leave. It’s like an abusive relationship that way - for awhile you feel like you don’t deserve better and no one else would want you, but that’s bs. You are better than how people treat you, and fuck it, you deserve better.
As Taylor would say “Be like a snake—only bite if someone steps on you.”
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Why won't the Left Recognize the South African Genocide?
According to Genocide Watch, the political left in the West is engaged in genocide denial. Almost to a man, the Twitterati scramble to point out how, for some reason, the Boer is not really being exterminated in their own lands- or that they had it coming. Welcome to progressive victim blaming. Its fine, so long as the victims are White.
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A message painted on the wall of a police station in #SouthAfrica. I guess now that the Boer has been disarmed in 2000, only the police is left... This is why you don't give up your guns America! pic.twitter.com/KdYwENf6nN
— Willem Petzer (@willempet) March 20, 2018
As pointed out by Jack Montgomery in Breitbart,
“If you look at the footage and read the stories, you hear the accounts, it’s a horrific circumstance they face,” (Australian Home Affairs minister) Dutton had said, arguing that South Africa’s farmers “deserve special attention”.
“I do think, on the information that I’ve seen, people do need help and they need help from a civilized country like ours,” he added — prompting furious demands for a retraction from the South African government.
But rather than welcoming the country’s white minority as refugees, as they would for almost any other group, left-liberal media outlets and pro-migration non-governmental organizations (NGOs) were quick to condemn Dutton, insisting the farmers should be left to their fate.
It is not just Australia- most leftist publications in the West have looked away from this humanitarian crisis. I will give credit where it is due, the Independent has published a relatively clear-eyed report, Newsweek is recognizing the problem for what it is, and RT is ready to report on Julius Malema "cutting the throat of whiteness.”
youtube
RT, it should be noted, were making videos about the looming threat of land expropriation in South Africa four years ago. We didn't listen then- but then RT is Russian state media so it was an obvious ploy to influence elections, or something.
🆘‼😯🔥 #SouthAfrica: a white farmer in Bela-Bela (Warmbad), his name is Jakes van Deventer, was killed by several black assailants, and his wife seriously injured. The white farmers' community caught the attackers, these are the weapons they found in their car. pic.twitter.com/5JggfntiYE
— Onlinemagazin (@OnlineMagazin) March 18, 2018
The genocide denial from progressive activists is shameful.
Yassmin Abdel-Magied, who you may remember claims Islam is the most feminist religion, outright denies the South African Genocide and claims that Australia really should import more Muslims instead of skilled White people, because of course she does. She is an unrepentant activist for Islam, but wishes to deny all others the same courtesy for their own faith or ethnic group.
Let me be clear. There is no evidence to prove that white people (aka farmers from South Africa) would be more beneficial to Australia than people from other nations (e.g. Rohingya). As such, it is rubbish to claim they should be provided faster assistance from Australia.
— Yassmin Abdel-Magied (@yassmin_a) March 15, 2018
Apart from centuries of demonstrable farming skills passed from father to son by the Boers, sure. There is no benefit to preferencing skilled people over the unskilled, in Abdel-Magied's book. It is odd indeed that open border advocates like Yassmin suddenly want to build a wall, but with a door that only non-Whites have the key for. Similarly, it is a dishonest ploy to conflate centuries of religious and ethnic conflict in Asia with the genocide in South Africa.
It is not in doubt that the Rohingya are suffering in Myanmar, virtually without aid from neighboring Muslim nations.
Even so, it is strange indeed to advocate for Australian aid for a community defined by political allegiance rather than religious or ethnic grouping when that kind of politics has no connection with Australia. Yassmin draws the line around Islam, and concludes that as she and the Rohingya are both Muslim, that's her team. Fair enough, but this is not a simple case of racist persecution, these issues are deep-rooted. Simply moving the Rohingya to Australia is not a solution to Myanmar's refusal to recognize the Rohingya as citizens or to end the bloodshed. Is it racist for a White country to help White people with whom they share a history as the sons of colonialists? Abdel-Mageid may argue that would be the definition of racism, and to be quite frank I for one do not care, because she would have to own that racism herself.
SHOW 👏🏽 ME 👏🏽 CONCRETE 👏🏽 EVIDENCE 👏🏽 TO 👏🏽 PROVE 👏🏽 ME 👏🏽 WRONG 👏🏽 OH WAIT 👏🏽 YOU HAVE NONE? 👏🏽 YOU'RE SPOUTING DOGWHISTLING BS? 👏🏽 THOUGHT SO 👏🏽 KTHXBYE.
— Yassmin Abdel-Magied (@yassmin_a) March 15, 2018
Australia, a secular society based on Europeans and their Christian values, recognizes the plight of another European Christian descended society and wishes to help. Could not the neighbors of the Rohingya, Muslim countries all, help their co-religionists and provide them support? If we're honestly looking for solutions it is self-evident that people with common cultural, language and ethnic connections integrate into societies easier than those without. This should not be a controversial position, but apparently it is racism to recognize that people in the world are different- unless you are an intersectional leftist, in which case you can recognize differences in relation to White people, in order to leverage power.
South Africa: with the government condoning theft of land of white farmers and doing nothing to stop their murder, 2018 is turning into a bad year if you are white and live in SA. 1.7 farm attacks per day an 1 farmer murdered every 5 days. This is genocide. #SouthAfrica pic.twitter.com/lceenJX8ks
— Miss Jo (@HaramHussy) March 11, 2018
It is racist to claim that Whites can be oppressed- despite this entire article existing as an exercise in highlighting the in-group preference that is exhibited by people of all races and faiths. If it is racist for White Australians to recognize their kinship with White South Africans, why is it not also anti-Kuffar bigotry for Yassmin Abdel-Magied to advocate for her own in-group? Can we not understand that having love and being an advocate for your own people does not necessitate hatred of the other? Abdel-Magied shows here that it is, as usual, group identity for the Muslim, but Christians- watch out. That's racism.
Apart from being such an egregious example of how not to make an argument, the leftist position is clear. If you are White and look at people who look like you being tortured and raped for their skin color with horror, it is you that is the racist. The implicit demand is "What about the non-Whites?" To which the reply should be- what race is more charitable, more willing to aid and more accomodating than those hated Whites? This is a sick ideology, and if it means that we are Alt-Right for opposing racist murderers, count us in. History remembers those who deny genocide.
I find Peter Dutton speaking about white farmers in South Africa while condemning others trying to come to Aus so incredibly racist. It’s one of the most flagrant racist displays I’ve ever seen yet people are applauding him. Pull your fucking shit together Australia!
— Scott Rhodie (@ScottRhodie) March 14, 2018
What we are witnessing is the weaponization of ethnic cleansing in order to promulgate an open-borders and globalist agenda.
To put it mildly, this sticks in the craw. The idea that because the Australian government has been brave enough to recognize reality and try to help that this is somehow racist is not only insulting but exhibits the most appalling kind of anti-White bigotry.
Let me be clear: Farm violence, and crime generally, is a major problem in South Africa. It warrants closer inspection and much stronger policing. However, if you think it constitutes 'white genocide', you're being taken for a ride by race-baiters and proto-fascists.
— Mike Stuchbery 💀🍷 (@MikeStuchbery_) January 20, 2018
Jon Rosenthal of The Economist, who is Jewish, will denounce all genocide except when it happens to Whites.
This is outrageous racism. Australia detains genuine asylum seekers for years, but opens its arms to a bunch of white people who do not face oppression. https://t.co/30Lv0xrnvE
— Jonathan Rosenthal (@rosenthal_jon) March 15, 2018
Australia is racist because Rosenthal disagrees with their immigration policy with regard to helping people flee a genocide- though of course, #NotAllAustralians, Jon. Rosenthal will go so far to argue with a Black South African racist about what a genocide is.
Oh. Now you use the word "zionists" instead of Jews. Very clever. I have denounced apartheid. Will you denounce genocide of Jews?
— Jonathan Rosenthal (@rosenthal_jon) August 29, 2017
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This is the double standard that is being exhibited to varying degrees across the plaent, when it comes to relations between people of European descent and virtually all others. It has now become common to claim that there is no such thing as Whiteness when it comes to an identity, but Whiteness itself is toxic and must be deconstructed. That is the philosophical root in the West of our neo-Marxist political left.
Judgement Day. The land is ours!!! pic.twitter.com/ZSh2QaBdAd
— andile (@Mngxitama) March 19, 2018
This is the sharp end of the same ideology. This is the result of formented bigotry sanctioned by a state that wholeheartedly agrees that Whiteness itself is evil enough to be met with land expropriation, rape, torture and murder. Is this carnage really what the so-called progressives wish to advance? As we have repeatedly said in this magazine, this is what awaits Western nations, casually waiting for demographics to tilt the balance of power.
BLACK AGENDA ON REPARATIONS FOR SLAVERY, COLONIALISM AND APARTHEID “Justice requires not only the ceasing and desisting of injustice but also requires either punishment or reparation for injuries and damages inflicted for prior wrongdoing. ― Amos Wilson 1/3 pic.twitter.com/LNM8Cb35Cm
— Lindsay Maasdorp (@LindsayMaasdorp) March 19, 2018
The rhetoric is the same as that parroted by the benign social justice advocates in your own town. The weepy students who wail about wanting safe spaces and segregated housing because of the evil Whites oppressing them will not speak out against this genocide. They deny it. They will not condemn the South African government, they will say, well the power dynamics are shifting and this is a good thing thanks to centuries of colonialism, and South Africa should belong to Black people. Apart from highlighting how the left really sees multiculturalism -as a weapon against Whites- this is dishonest, upstream thinking. The same thinking begat the extermination of the Kulaks with the Holodomor, but for some reason many leftists don't like to talk about that, either.
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The Deputy President of the Economic Freedom Fighters (EFF) manhandles/intimidates Afrikaner journalist outside of parliament in South Africa You won't see any pro-EU politicians condemning this though. pic.twitter.com/8ttUvSQWIw
— Defend Europa (@DefendEvropa) March 20, 2018
The South African Genocide is real. search #plaasmoorde on Twitter. Spread the word. Contact your local representative and demand action.
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2018-03-19 16 FUNNY now
FUNNY
Awkward Family Photos
Shoes To Fill
Two And A Half Men
In Your Face
Blowing Off Steam
Two Hilarious Moms Model The Medieval Undergarments They Wear Now That They’ve Had Kids
Babylon Bee
Larry-Boy Confirmed For ‘Avengers: Infinity War’
Ultrasound Shows Unborn Baby Holding ‘Keep Your Laws Off My Body’ Sign
Aides Gently Inform Trump He Can’t Fire Portrait Of George Washington
Worship Leader No Longer Able To Fit Giant Head Through Sanctuary Doors
BuzzFeed Acquires The Gospel Coalition
McSweenys
List: Everything We Currently Know About Sleep
Notes On a Postgrad Gig at SLRP, the World’s First No-Frills, Zero-BS, Direct-to-Consumer, Bespoke Straws Company
Why Women’s Bodies Are Bad for Women
Norse History for Bostonians: A Short History of the Icelandic Conversion to Christianity for Bostonians: Part III
The Entry for WebMD On WebMD
Passive Aggressive Notes
Coming soon, from Pixar…
Donna, bring a sweater
You can’t spare three squares?
Happy Birthday, and see you soon! xoxo, Cancer
Namaste, asshole.
Reddit Funny
A note that my little cousin left for his dad.
The Signs that our Local Fire Dept. puts up...
Fuck. your. shit.
Calm ur tit
Don't touch the glass
Reddit Humor
Life Can Sure Be a Beach!
When you can't afford a lift ticket
Sketch -- The Money Mugger
British guy takes part in a hilarious Impractical Jokers-style game
Sad and Useless
Funny Surgical Masks
This Month’s Funniest Internet Finds
I Wish Someone Would Look At Me The Way Dogs Look At Food
15 Ridiculous Paintings That Sold For Millions of Dollars
Things That Totally Look Like Butts
The Blogess
I need a lot of pills.
Amazon knows me too well and it’s insulting and also costing me money.
I don’t know how things work, part eleventy thousand
I think I found what I want on my tombstone.
Why are there penises all over the garage: an attempted explanation
The Hard Times
How Can Racism Still Exist When It Was Defeated by Ska in 1998?
TV Show’s Lifeless Corpse Continues to Limp Along Years After Death
Rescued Three-Legged Dog Finds New Purpose as Conversation Starter
Water in Shitty New Game Looks Beautiful
The Best Places to Throw up This Weekend Before the St. Patrick’s Day Posers Get to Them
The Onion
Ford Recalls 1.4 Million Cars Because Their Steering Wheels Might Come Off
Rick Perry Apologizes For Trying To Outdo Fellow Cabinet Members By Using $72 Million Of Taxpayer Funds On Lampshade
Donald Trump Jr. Divorce Leaves Confused, Heartbroken Nation Wondering Why Bad Things Happen To Good People
Teach For America Celebrates 3 Decades Of Helping Recent Graduates Pad Out Law School Applications
Subpoenaed Trump Organization Financial Documents Reveal Company’s Only Holding Is Single Dairy Queen In New Jersey
Whiskey Leaks
Science Explains Why Tide Pods Taste Like Cilantro To Some, Soap To Others
Cummy Bears? Say “I Love You” This Valentines Day With Candy Made From Your Essence
Redskins’ Owner Unveils Newly Acquired Team Logo
Self-Driving Uber Suspended After Touching Self In Front of Female Passenger
OP-ED: A Man Can’t Even Hug A Female Now Without Her Noticing That He’s Raping Her
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