#and that may or may not be making me somewhat nostalgic

[suhkusa]

OPEN ARMS.

PAIRING. Bakugou Katsuki x f!Reader

CW. ALL CHARACTERS 18+, angst to fluff, hurt/comfort, childhood friends to fwb to lovers 0-0, he’s dumb, you’re dumb, feelings, smut but it’s not detailed, dubious consent, please let me know if i missed anything!

WC. ~2.8k

A/N. If you’ve seen this before no you haven’t!!! first time writing for mha :p

I.

The first time you fucked Bakugou, it was a mistake.

It was during your 19th birthday party, which he had thrown for you “out of the kindness of his heart”, he’d say.

You two clearly had too much to drink, but so did your friends around you. Too much where none of them seemed to notice as the two of you slipped out of the living room to his own room.

The first time with him was your first time at all.

And even then, even in his drunken stupor, he still handled you with care.

Despite his rough and unruly nature he usually displayed, he was gentle. It was a funny thought though, Katsuki Bakugou fucks gently.

“Are- you sure?”, he mutters, toying with the waistband of your panties.

You managed to slur out a weak, “mhm”, before he began to slowly slip off your clothes. One by one.

And even though it was gentle, it was messy. Each kiss is filled with saliva and teeth. Every thrust is hesitant but thorough. Everything was him.

When the time came and you two were lying in bed, chests heaving as your minds tried to catch up with your bodies. You had just fucked your childhood best friend.

The rest of the night was awkward as the two of you sobered up, yes. But when morning came, it was like nothing happened.

It was a silent agreement, never again.

——

II.

The second time you fucked Bakugou, it was by choice.

Though, not for the reason you thought it’d be.

“The hell are you at my door for? It’s 2 in the—”

“He cheated, Katsuki,”

His eyes met with your tear-stained face, his face dropping in realization.

“Shit,” he looked around before eyes locking back onto you, “c’mere you big baby,”

Bakugou’s arms opened before you fell into them.

His scent and touch are familiar. Somewhat nostalgic of the time you two were kids and he’d comfort you after beating up the boys who’d tease you.

“S’alright,” he muttered, “you know he was ugly as shit anyways,”

You cry more after he says that, knowing he was right, but still hurting more nonetheless.

“Sheesh,” he lets you go to lead you into his house.

Without his help, you make your way into his room, welcoming yourself to the warm blankets. You hog them to yourself, whining when he tugs them off.

“Don’t cry over him, he was a piece of shit, and I told you so,” he snickers, still with a comforting tone.

You sniffle, “I know- I know, it still hurts though,”

It hurts because it was your first relationship. It hurts because outside Katsuki, you’ve never put so much effort and trust into a person. And for it to be thrown away made you feel nothing but worthless. 7 months may not have been long, but to you it felt like eternity.

Bakugou rolls his eyes dismissively, knowing that little to nothing he could do would help, “you need anything?”

To this day, you don’t know what it was. Maybe it was the way he looked at you with care instead of his usual roughness, or the way your heart yearned for touch and comfort. Perhaps it was the way that even though, yes, Bakugou warned you about your cheating ex and you didn’t listen, he let his pride down and came to the rescue.

“You,”

“Don’t say that, freak,” he shrugs your words off as a joke, moving to get up, “I’ll be in the livi—“

Your hands move before your brain can stop it, latching onto his wrist.

“Please,”

Your teary eyes watch the cogs turn in his brain. Before you realize, he’s lifting your chin with a rough hand, bringing your lips to his. And before you can catch a breath, he’s onto you, taking you once again.

——

III.

The the third time you fucked Bakugou, you realize this would become a regular thing.

There was no heartache or liquor. There were two friends, lonely but still content, bored with nothing to do.

You don’t really remember what initiated it, or who, one moment you guys were watching the latest episode of that sitcom he showed you, and the next you were on top of him.

He lifted your hips and slammed into you, over and over until you couldn’t even think about how you got into this position. Until all of your senses were just filled with him, him, and him.

“You’re mine,” he grabbed at your chin, forcing you to look at him, “you hear me?”

In the heat of the moment, you gasp a loose, “yes,” before locking your lips with his.

Your body was hot and wet, and his words only ignited the flames in your stomach even higher before you couldn’t take it anymore, falling against him as your pussy convulsed around his length.

As your chest heaved against his, your mind cleared a bit, thinking back on his words.

His.

The concept of being his was a nice thought. Though you know you could never commit anymore. Especially to him. Bakugou’s your best friend, and your love for him would always be just that.

This is casual. It doesn’t have to mean anything. People have casual flings or friends with benefits all the time. It just so happens yours is with your best friend. You two were grown adults now, you both know well what you’re getting yourselves into. Best friends can fuck without feelings being involved.

Right?

——

VI.

The next couple of times you fucked Bakugou, you noticed a shift.

It was a subtle slow shift, it came in waves that only grew every time he touched you.

In the moment, it was great. Everything about it. The way he fucked, the way he cared for you. It was just a little bonus of your guys’ hangouts. You guys still do the things you would do before this whole arrangement started. Talk, gossip, eat food, sleep. And before you knew it, sex became a part of the routine.

And if you were being honest, you enjoyed it. It filled the hole that had been left by your ex. But now that you had gotten over him, it felt like you were about to burst at the seams by the whiplash Bakugou gave you.

You never gave a second thought to this arrangement you two had. It felt normal. You guys had always been this close. Through school, college, and even having your first jobs together. Of course, there were times you guys were apart, but even still you two managed to remain as close as ever.

After the first several times, you began to experience this weird feeling in your chest. You didn’t want to put a name to the emotion out of the fear it’d create more problems than you needed.

But you could only silence your heart for so long until it begins to boil over.

It was after the second round of the day. You’re dazed as you stare at the ceiling, legs sore, cunt aching.

You feel your throat get caught on itself as you try to make up the words to come out. It feels thick as you say it. Scared to know his answer, scared that this all could fall apart— that you’d fall apart.

“Why are we doing this?” you start, hesitant.

“Not sure,” he mutters, scrolling through his phone, “it’s fun?”

It’s fun. Yeah, maybe that was it. That phrase would simmer in the depths of your mind, constantly trying to convince yourself yes, this was fun. So much to block out the painful tinge you’d feel in your chest after every time you lie in bed together after having sex.

This was your childhood best friend. Bakugou Katsuki. Anyone could have him but he’s lying here with you. You realize the possibility of going back to how things were was slim. He’s not going to be that hard-headed, obnoxious friend you’d known since you were kids anymore. It’s gone past that boundary, and you’re scared to keep exploring the uncharted territory.

It’s then you realize that maybe this was a mistake after all.

——

VIII.

It’s the 7th— no, 8th? You’ve lost count. Nonetheless, it was this time that you realized you loved Bakugou Katsuki.

Perhaps you’ve always known this, just pushing all the emotions to the back of your heart and mind for the sake of the friendship.

But you knew all too well that those boundaries had been pushed too far. Time and time you told yourself that this was all okay, but it wasn’t. And it felt like you were slowly tearing yourself apart.

He was tearing you apart, but it was no one’s fault but your own.

The words he’s been using have been getting riskier and riskier. Toying with the romantic edge of things.

Bakugou was being rougher than usual, a bad day at work being the source. Though you didn’t mind, it felt good nonetheless. It’s rare for him to shock you with his words.

“Fuck,” he groans in your ear, “you’re beautiful,”

His words make you clench around him harder, egging you on to whimper in his ear.

“You’re too fuckin’ good— way- too good,”

His cock pummeled your insides and he thrusted into you relentlessly, praise raining from his mouth like an everflowing river.

“I want you— bad,” his grip on your hips tightens, and the telltale look on his face tells you he’s about to finish.

“I fuckin’ love you,” he murmurs lowly as he cums, so low you barely miss it under your own soft gasps. So low you weren’t even sure you heard it right.

Tears begin to prick at your eyes, what an asshole.

Your insecurity gets the best of you so you just pull him tighter to your body in response to whatever he said.

His words poke and prod at your heart. It feels good to hear it. But it hurts worse knowing it’s the sex talking. It’s the frustrations from work talking. It’s all fake. It’s all talk. No meaning or emotion to back it up.

Bakugou doesn’t even realize it, but he’s encouraging you and your feelings for him. And you don’t know how much more you can take.

——

I.

It was the first time that Katsuki fucked you, he realized he loved you.

You were a constant in his life, and while you were annoying at times, you were always there, even the times where he was shitty towards you.

Katsuki knew you were pretty, always have been— even when the two of you were kids and you’d have mud and dirt all over your face after tussling with him.

But especially now you were gorgeous. Glossy-eyed and so vulnerable underneath him. It was as if he forced himself to sober up, just so that he could remember this moment.

He knew it was selfish to act upon his own desires, and so he asked,

“Are- you sure?”

Everything about you was pretty, his eyes fixated on your lips as you muttered a sweet “mhm”.

Katsuki wishes he had photographic memory so he could remember and cherish every second of it.

He knew this couldn’t happen again. The relationship you two already had was too good for him to let his personal feelings interfere. And he was okay with that. He had his own things to worry about.

There were too many things going on in his life. And even if you wanted him (the chances are slim), he doesn’t know if he’d be able to give you what you needed or wanted. He liked being friends with you for so long because you made everything so easy. He didn’t want to ruin what you had because of his stupid, selfish feelings.

But for now, he’ll indulge in himself. Just this once.

It was the first time that Bakugou Katsuki fucked you that he realized, for him, this wasn’t a mistake.

——

X.

This time would be the last, you told yourself.

You’d let yourself fall into him once more. Let him hold you once more. Be with him once more. And then you’d call it quits. You’d force yourself and him to go back to how things were. No matter what.

You want him, but that’s all it could ever be. And you couldn’t want him. He’s your best friend. The only love you should’ve ever had for him was platonic, but circumstances you forced upon yourself changed that.

You’re able to tell when he’s in the mood. He looks at you daringly with his ruby eyes, and gets touchier. It’s barely ever sudden with him, he eases you into it.

“Katsuki…” you whisper, weak to his touch as he slips his hand under your shirt and straight to your breasts.

“Mm,” he responds, lips already meeting with the soft skin of your neck.

It takes all of you, and you mean all of you, to force the words out of your mouth. You knew you didn’t want to mean it, you’d let him take you as many times as he pleases. But you had to mean it. Because it hurts. Too much.

“I can’t— We can’t do this anymore,” the words fumble a bit, you’re a bit embarrassed and wish you could take it all back.

He freezes altogether, and it scares you.

Bakugou sits back, removing his hand and lips from you before looking in your eyes.

His eyes search your face, lips looking like he’s searching for something to say. You don’t even know what to say.

“I— alright,” he says in a somewhat defeated tone. “Are you okay?”

No.

“Y-yeah, it’s just, weird, you know,” he looks confused at your words but agrees nonetheless. “You’re my best friend and I love you, we just… can’t,”

“No yeah,” is all he says before he sits back in his place on the couch, “I love you, too, I understand,”

You’re scared. His calmness is anxiety driving. Did you really not matter that much? Was the intimacy so easy to let go of? Your heart is breaking, you can feel it. It hurts.

You want to leave, you need to. It’s overwhelming and the silence is drowning. The TV plays in the back but all you hear is silence and all you see is him. It’s too much, you need to-

“Y/N,” you snap your head up at his voice, he’s closer, his hand is reaching out to you, “what’s wrong? You’re crying,”

A rough thumb pad swipes at the tears that had escaped without your knowledge. And the dam breaks.

Bakugou’s eyes widen and he pulls you in to embrace you, “you on your period or what?” He's joking, but you can tell he’s genuinely questioning you as to what the hell happened.

“You, it’s you,” you sob into his chest, and it’s so embarrassing. Shame spreads across your cheeks and body, and you babble nonsense.

“I love you, and it hurts,” you cry, “Fuck, I ruined everything,”

You can’t stop.

“I’m sorry, Katsuki, I ruined it, I ruined us. I was selfish,”

Your mouth is moving on its own.

“I can’t just fuck you and— and be just friends with you, it’s too much,”

You choke on your words, they’re heavy as they come out, fighting against the saliva that builds in your mouth.

“I want you,”

His words startle you. They’re sudden, and cut off whatever else you were about to say. He’s genuine. You can tell by the underlying softness of his voice.

“Are you an idiot? I wouldn’t— fuck,” his grasp around you gets tighter.

“I don’t fuck just anybody,” Bakugou says, “I feel like I’ve told you that,”

“But— that one time-”

“That was my girlfriend at the time, dipshit,”

You sniffle at that, and he realizes you’re still vulnerable.

“Sorry, I just,” he releases you a bit, eyes locked on you, “I love you, have for a while,”

Your jaw drops a bit at that.

“Feelings are just too complicated, you’re too complicated. I didn’t want to break whatever we had, y’know?,” you can tell he’s struggling, “but it became routine, and I was selfish and didn’t want to stop,”

“You’re sappy,”

“Shut it,” he snaps, pinching your side and earning a yelp from you. “Don’t cry, got it? I want you just as much as you want me,”

His thumbs wipe away the stray tears, “you’re such an idiot,”

“No, you are— you’re so mean, saying things you don’t mean to me,” you mutter, eyes meeting his own.

“I’ve never said anything I didn’t mean to you,” he states matter-of-factly. And you realize he’s serious.

You open your mouth to retort, to argue, but he catches you in a kiss before you’re able to. He’s warm and gentle, he’s everything you’ve ever wanted.

You feel yourself begin to tear up again, it doesn’t hurt anymore. But your heart is relieved and feels as though a heavy weight had been lifted off of it. It feels free.

It’s this time where you’re about to fuck Bakugou Katsuki that you realize it was always going to be him, and perhaps those times were never mistakes after all.

© all writings belongs to suhkusa 2024. do not repost or change.

[acrosstheujiverse]

dynamics of an introverted couple

【🔎】 description: scenarios you have with your introverted boyfriend, woozi, as an introvert yourself. 【🖇️】 pairing: introvert!woozi x introvert!reader. 【💿】 genre: FLUFF!! 【🧺】 tags: butterflies in your stomach, x1000 cute.

📬 — author’s note！my first official post! haha. it MAY take a while for me to actually have the courage and confidence to post my aus, but i hope you will be patient with me ^-^

thank you ♡ enjoy reading this.

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୨:୧┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ · · ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈୨:୧

your love story wouldn’t be one of love at first sight. no. instead, it would go under the slow-burn genre of romance. a friends-to-lovers slow burn.

in the few instances where jihoon would be outside and hang out with his small circle of close friends, he would be introduced to you. by courtesy of seungcheol.

you and jihoon’s first meeting was somewhat formal, with a few jokes and questions to break the ice, courtesy of soonyoung. it would take the two of you more hangout sessions to actually feel comfortable in each other’s presence.

jihoon would be the first to fall; he wouldn’t admit it to you, but he started to be interested with everything you said, and he would care about you. more than in a friendly way.

when hit with the growing feeling of being in love with you, jihoon would try to keep it to himself. he would be too shy to confess his feelings.

as the two of you walked after having finished yet another hangout session with your friends, you would be the one who confessed to him. in the many hangouts you had, you knew jihoon already; he was not the type to actually express his feelings. he wouldn’t be the one confessing, and he wouldn’t have the courage to actually risk your friendship.

you and jihoon wouldn’t have many fights.

when you two DO have fights, it’s because of a lack of communication. you suppress your feelings, whereas jihoon expresses himself with harsh words, pushing people away and isolating himself in his studio. (it’s due to his hectic work schedule and lack of sleep that he struggles to manage his stress.)

you both learned the hard way why communication—communicating your feelings—is an important part of any relationship.

both of you have slowly become vulnerable to each other. through face-to-face conversations or through text, whichever makes you both comfortable.

“not everyone is comfortable talking about their emotions and vulnerabilities, and that’s okay. but please don’t push people out without first telling them how you feel about the topic (that you’re uncomfortable and would like to not talk about it). if they’re truly concerned about you, they would understand the boundary you just put up and drop the topic.”

this relationship would be LOWKEY—i mean on the down DOWN-low. to the point where the only time you publicly show your guy’s relationship would be after like 5+ years of dating. (it’s THAT lowkey.)

it wouldn’t be surprising to many if you both decided to announce your relationship once you were both engaged.

even though he doesn’t have that much dating experience… jihoon would be the romantic type. he doesn’t show it, but he has seen different types of media—from shows to animes��to KNOW how to be romantic towards his partner. he wouldn’t be the over-the-top kind of romantic, but he would surprise you in the simplest but sweetest of ways. like randomly giving you flowers (if you’re allergic, it’s fake flowers) out of nowhere just because he felt like it, or (leaning to something more of his forte) dedicating a song he’s been writing to you—a melodic and nostalgic feeling to it.

for you and jihoon, it’s the little things that count. simple but never boring.

both you and jihoon liked the privacy and intimacy of your relationship.

you two are liberated from the social convention of broadcasting your guy’s relationship to the public. you two can be in love without the prying eyes of the public.

sleeping in on weekends would be the norm for both of you because you’re both sleep-deprived.

groggily waking up to sight of jihoon’s cute sleeping face, you honestly can’t be more grateful for his existence and presence in your life.

you can’t help but lightly pinch at the sight of jihoon’s squishy cheeks. he would slowly and slightly open his eyes, his nose scrunching from the sensation. he gives you a lazy smile and a soft peck at the tip of your nose.

“g’morning love.”

[it was in fact the afternoon, but who could correct this fatigued guy?]

although your love for each other may not be as obvious as most relationships are, it is the kind of love that you’re glad to be going home to.

a quiet love that speaks languages that only you two understand.

— fin.

[monratarot]

Who will be your future spouse?

Pick a card reading🍄🦋🌸💗

Hello guys! Moni here! 🧚🏼‍♀️

It's almost the half of the month so I was thinking that this would be a good opportunity for those who are single and searching for love.

Here is a free reading about your future spouse. Pick the pile that you are most drawn to and scroll down to read about your future partner. Keep in mind that gender can be reversed.

Takes what resonate with you because remember that this is just a general reading and it might not apply for everyone.

Don't forget to like/reblog/comment and follow me! I would really appreciate it because it will help my blog grow!

So let's get started! Enjoy!💟

Moni🧚🏻‍♀️

𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒Your feedback is highly appreciated

𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒Like and reblog to claim your pile

Pile 1 🍄☁️🌸 Pile 2 🍄☁️🌸Pile 3

└─── °∘💮∘° ───┘ └─── °∘💮∘° ───┘ └─── °∘💮∘° ───┘

Pile 1 (🌸◠∀◠)(◠ᵕ◠🌸)

MR CREATIVE - control over emotions, diplomatic, compassionate ↓manipulative, a master of emotions with selfish intentions

When you can meet them – Libra season or 7 weeks/7 months, on a Sunday

He is charming and confident but comfortable to be around.

Astrological associations - Libra and Scorpio

Men or women over the age of 40

emotionally passionate

a person with auburn, red, or medium colored hair

solid love

someone dynamic, active, and radiate confidence;

creative man, the poet, the man who dreams deeply

they can be sometimes wishy-washy but always with the flow of things even if he can be frustratingly laid back at the time

vitality, passion, and appetite for life, deeply sensual and not ashamed of his pleasure or his body

in their negative they becomes the addicted or the impotent lover(he becomes posses and lost, living only for the pleasure at the moment

nurture, guide, and support others; act socially responsible; let yourself be touched and moved; listen to others with sympathy and understanding; use intuition in decision-making

Key meaning of the relationship:

a compassionate and somewhat emotional person

a warm and gentle guy, liked by many for his easy nature

warmhearted, charismatic person

they follow their intuition in their work

they are sociable, but sensitive and need to choose their friends wisely

ideal romantic partner

motivated to help others through direct action and cooperation, serene, calm

subtle, friendly, sympathetic, caring, compassionate, affectionate

avoids conflicts and problems, willing to help, co-dependent

hypersensitive to indifference and criticism, difficulty in saying “no”

pessimistic, gloomy, doesn't want to offend or disappoint anyone

nostalgic, unstable, easily seduced, duplicity, rigid control of or hides emotions, manipulation

telling others what they want to hear, can be overwhelming by another's pain

Oracle Message: Support others by supporting yourself first.

Your day may also feel confused, changeable, and with many different things that seem to require your attention from upset teenagers to misunderstandings with others that arise from unchecked emotions.

Time for you to consider finding your own support from this type of person.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ .:☆. ────── ･ ｡☆: .☽ .:☆. ────── ･ ｡☆: .☽ .:☆. ───

a sexy or sensual feel to your love life; a focus on primal urges, sexuality, and dominance; beginnings of a romance that is very physical but sometimes lacking on more substantial levels; the attraction in a new relationship will be based on appearances rather than things in common

Possible job:

entrepreneurs

inventors

goal setters and go-getters

mystics and spiritual leaders

sports coach

fitness instructor

motivational speaker

life coach

army soldiers

coach

┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °

Pile 2 (🌸◠∀◠)(◠ᵕ◠🌸)

I KNOW I'M A DREAMER - romance, adventurism, an invitation ↓moodiness, someone who is too charming, heated emotions/temper

When you can meet them – Pisces season, 12 weeks/12 months, on a Saturday

They are a dedicated, motivated, emotional, tender, sensitive, and loving person

Element - the fire of the suits of water - Aquaris + Pisces

romance, relationships

dreamy, charming, romantic

being focused on love

man or women under the age of 40

dark hair and eyes

faithfulness

this knight’s quest is love

romantic person, a love interest & also yourself in the throes of full-on love

tendency to be manic by nature(one moment you are the love of his life and the next one you are the thorn in their ass)

tendency to be jealous by nature

stalker

Key meaning of the relationship

prosperity, property and beginnings

the beginning stages of something tangible

growth

material abundance

new enterprise

finances or wealth; a solid fruitful foundation

a promotion

good luck

unexpected money

Oracle Message: Act with love, express yourself, be creative.

Allow yourself the time to write poetry, prepare a sumptuous meal, plan that secret date for your partner.

Do something special for your lover today – flowers, chocolates, that date – but something unusual like ice skating, or a quiet out-of-town dinner, something that is intimate and full of togetherness.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ .:☆. ────── ･ ｡☆: .☽ .:☆. ────── ･ ｡☆: .☽ .:☆. ───

love is around the corner and sparks are already flying; great opportunities for growth and positive natural change in romance; speak up and act out in order to get what you want; new relationship, go with the flow; time to pursue new love, to feel silly with someone or just to fall unconditionally in love with you(embrace your inner fool and trust that falling into this phase is the point)

Possible job:

entrepreneurs

inventors

creators

pioneers and adventurers

mystics and spiritual leaders

sports coach

fitness instructor

motivational speaker

life coach

┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °

Pile 3 (🌸◠∀◠)(◠ᵕ◠🌸)

Mr PRACTICAL - abundance, security, financial success ↓greed, temptation, infinite desire for more things

When you can meet them – in Capricorn season, 10 weeks/10 months, on a Tuesday

They are thoughtful and wise, not rushing decisions nor being swayed to conform to modernity

Element - the air of the suit of earth

Astrological association - Aries and Taurus

a generous person

man or women over the age of 40

dark hair and eyes

finding happiness

seeing failures as winds

natural business person

great sense of humor

seeing failures as wins

being positive, being thankful

honest soul

naive for love

educated

emotional

person who demonstrates how resources are gained and used

they are always there

common-sense, apparent, reliable, accomplished, solid, steady, calm, wealthy, supportive

the user of secret knowledge, the knower, and the master of the technology

in their negative - they becomes the manipulator or the denying “innocent” one; taking advantage of others through specialized knowledge(leads to false superiority, isolation, and loneliness)

Oracle Message: This is a day for holding court & solving issues.

People see you as someone trustworthy, authoritative, level-headed, and great in a crisis.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ .:☆. ────── ･ ｡☆: .☽ .:☆. ────── ･ ｡☆: .☽ .:☆. ───

you no longer have the tolerance for the drama that a younger kind of love would offer, what you want is to be with someone who understands what life is really about; you will be successful in your endeavors - have faith

Possible job:

estate agent/developers

businessman/manager

director

master craftsman

banker

stock broker

teacher/educator

merchants

businessman

bodybuilder

bodyguard

professional athlete

entrepreneur

lawyer

banker

consultant

gardener

doctor

electrician

[purple-plum-petals]

⊱ Star Rail Men and What They Smell Like ⊰ || Multiple Character Headcanons

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Character(s): Argenti, Aventurine, Blade, Boothill, Caelus, Dan Heng, Veritas Ratio, Gallagher, Gepard Landau, Jing Yuan, Luocha, Sampo Koski, Sunday, Welt Yang (Honkai Star Rail)         Warning(s): Nothing!        Genre: Headcanons        Word Count: ~560 words        Author’s Note: I’ve been really into Honkai Star Rail lately and, since I will be writing for the fandom from here on out, I thought my first post for it would just be some simple headcanons on what some of the characters smell like! I tried to keep what I think the characters would smell like as canon-compliant as possible; I also wanted to do this since it may be helpful for me to reference in the future when I write for them haha. It’s nothing too complex as I haven’t had the time for that as of late, but I hope you enjoy it nevertheless! Also, this was written pre-release of Aventurine, Boothill, and Sunday, but I don’t think their releases will change these headcanons.

→ If you enjoyed my work, please reblog it if you can! Exposure on Tumblr is based on reblogging content rather than liking it, so your support would be much appreciated!  ♡

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Argenti: He smells like a freshly plucked bouquet of roses and honey with an underlying scent of iron because of his armor. Everywhere he goes, he leaves behind a floral scent with a tinge of sweetness.

Aventurine: Aventurine smells like a very expensive and very strong cologne – a cologne that is almost a bit too overpowering with how much of it he puts on.

Blade: Sorry Blade lovers, but this man probably smells like a mixture of sweat and blood. However, I’ll be nice and say he has the soft and somewhat sweet scent of spider lilies on his clothing and in his hair.

Boothill: Metal, oil, and gunpowder – I imagine him smelling very much like a mechanic’s workshop. He smells like how a lot of men’s bodywashes are advertised to be.

Caelus: Trash… Honestly, though, I can’t really see (or rather smell) Caelus having any kind of specific scent to him. He probably just smells like a natural musk or perhaps even a mixture of the rest of the Astral Express Crew’s scents, all of them intermingling in a very faint and very all-over-the-place cocktail of smells.

Dan Heng: Dan Heng smells kind of like the pages of an old book and a crisp, refreshing ocean breeze. He smells very relaxing and somewhat nostalgic, and his scent is very calming to be surrounded by.

Veritas Ratio: Ratio smells like unscented soap, so he has a very clean and fresh scent to him at all times considering how much he bathes. I also like to think he smells a bit like chalk with how much of it he carries around.  

Gallagher: Smells like a mixture of alcohol and natural musk with a tinge of smokiness. He works at a bar and, considering he carries around a lighter, I imagine him to be a smoker as well.

Gepard: Gepard wears a very light and very basic cologne, so nothing too overpowering or statement-making; it does smell a bit generic, though. I also think he would have a slight scent of iron to him as well due to his armor.

Jing Yuan: Smells like a fresh cup of fruity green tea with a weak node of mint. Jing Yuan is a fairly lazy man who doesn’t put in much effort where it isn’t needed, but I think he would enjoy aromatherapy so he likes wearing perfumes and colognes that he thoroughly enjoys.

Luocha: I think Luocha would smell somewhat earthy with nodes of floral and wood-like scents. I also think he would carry around the smell of death, but not necessarily a bad one; he smells more akin to a funeral home.  

Sampo: Much like Caelus, I don’t think Sampo would smell like much of anything. He sneaks around quite a bit and probably wouldn’t want his scent alerting anyone, so he has a natural smell to him with a light underlying node of pine.

Sunday: Has a very faint scent of lavender to him that could be easily missed if not around him for long. I imagine he isn’t fond of strong scents, so he usually picks something that makes him smell pleasing without being too overwhelming for himself or others.

Welt: I imagine Welt smelling like a strong, freshly brewed cup of coffee with nodes of citrus or vanilla. The underlying scent is never enough to overpower the smell of coffee he has on him, though.

[claiestve]

𝟑𝟎𝟎𝟓 ꨄ Kayson

˜”* ❝𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙄'𝙢 𝙖𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙚, 𝙄'𝙙 𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙗𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙮𝙤𝙪.❞

⎯⎯ ୨ ୧ ⎯⎯

ꜱʏɴᴏᴘꜱɪꜱ: ᴀʀᴄᴀᴅᴇ ᴅᴀᴛᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴋᴀʏꜱᴏɴ !

⎯୨⎯ " " ⎯୧⎯

You love Kayson with all your heart. How could you not? He’s the sweetest man you’ve met, talented, and loves you just as much. Now, as much as you love your boyfriend, finding time together isn’t always easy. His availability and yours didn’t align too well and despite his efforts to distract you from work, you make a conscious effort to stay focused.

There’s nothing wrong with that, though. The two of you were devoted, you slightly more than him. Lately, though, you’ve been exhausted—burnt out and drained. Kayson saw it all and he hated it, so much. It was getting to the point where you’d be knocked out, dead asleep when he got home which made his heart hurt a little. 

Knowing him, you knew he’d do something about it but you were expecting him to take a day off to be with you or encourage you to leave the house. Well, he did both. 

Kayson took a day off of work and dragged you out of the house to spend the day with him to take your mind off everything. 

“Kayson, where are we going? I could’ve finished–”

Your lips were met with a bossy finger,

“Shhh… don’t think about work, babe. You’ll see where we’re going soon.”

Your eyes rolled at his bossiness, it wasn’t helping with your crankiness. There were many places he could take you but any idea you could think of was far too simple for him. Not enough fun for him. Not that you had many ideas, though, it hurt to think but that never stopped you before. 

“Kayson,” You turned to him, watching him giggle, “Are we seriously at an arcade?”

He leaned his head back, “What would you do if I said yes?” 

“I’d be amused.”

Kayson laced his fingers with yours, placing a kiss on the back of your hand, “You look so amused.”

He was starting to pick up your sarcastic humor, a trend you somewhat regret encouraging because ever since he started, he never stopped. 

Nonetheless, the two of you stepped inside the most colorful, nostalgic, and competitive environment. It may not seem like it, but this was your shit. You knew that Kayson knew you’d love this. That thought alone made you love him even more. 

“Where do you wanna start, babe?”

Your teeth poked out with the help of a mischievous grin, “Which game do you suck the most at?”

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Your lovely boyfriend was now following you like a dog on a walk. He felt the most defeated in his life. He even tried to win you a stuffed animal but he failed so miserably that you had to win it for him for you. It was adorable though. 

The only thing you could think of was how much fun the two of you were having (and how much fun you were having, absolutely crushing him at everything). Kayson could just see how much the stress and exhaustion left your body and that was all he could think about. 

“Damn, babe! We got a bunch stuff from these tickets.”

You look over to see him holding all your prizes—it’s too much for him to carry alone.

“Here Kay, let me help you,” Your prizes fell right into your arms, “I had a lot of fun today, thank you so much, Kayson.”

“That was all I wanted.”

His head dips down to plant a sweet kiss on your forehead.

“Let’s put these in the car now.”

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

absolutely BLESS @xxminxrq for this idea, i hope it met ur expectations ♡ n i love the idea in general

💋 

[pomplalamoose]

Ooohhh how about different eras of luke (ROTJ is my fav if doing one is easier) and maybe some modern dilf!luke 👀 reacting to you laying your head on his shoulder when you’re tired or have a headache pre-relationship?

Anonnn, you don't understand, I'm obsessed with this ask. I just HAD to do every single Luke era plus the Dilf AU as the cherry on top because it's been so long since I last wrote something wholesome😩

also it reminds me of the posts I used to do when I first started writing and ngl I'm feeling a little nostalgic

• sweet ANH Luke with his open smile and honest eyes is so easy to approach and befriend, resting your head on his shoulder comes almost naturally

• though unbeknownst to you he'd immediately be on the brink to loose his mind

• already he tends to be a little jittery with nerves whenever you randomly appear in the same room he is in

• even more so now that he's finally admitted his major crush on you to himself

• so just imagine his excitement the moment you decide to sit next to him

• as soon as your head touches his shoulder he goes bright red and doesn't dare to move in fear of accidentally shooing you away, his heart beating wildly in his chest

• for a slight moment he forgets how to breathe, though it's not like he minds

• this is the best day of his life

• not only does he finally get to feel the warmth of having you so close by his side, but also your soft hair aginst his cheek if he dares to tilt his head just a little bit

• when eventually he manages to somewhat normalize his breathing, his thoughts will start to wander

• he's SO proud you're clearly comfortable and feeling safe with him

• but should he strike up a conversation? Ask how you're doing? If everything's okay?

• maybe he could make you laugh

• your hands look so soft; what if he were to reach out and just take them in his?

• would you mind?

• he's not sure, his aren't as pretty and smooth as yours

• you smell very nice

• wouldn't your current position make you look like a couple to an outsider passing by?

• what if, and he feels very bold just considering, but, what if you...like him?

• quickly enough he has a very hard time remaining calm

• and how could he? He needs to tell someone about this RIGHT NOW

• good luck trying to catch ESB Luke sitting still for even once

• though should you be as lucky to catch him during a moment of rest and manage to lean on him, he'll feel similarly as ANH Luke; excited, a little nervous even, though not as much as his younger self would have been

• still he has to fight off the blush rising into his cheeks and will absolutely deny ever changing colors should someone (especially Leia, Han or even R2) point it out

• at the same time he wishes for as many as possible to witness this very monumental moment, hoping everyone will see that you're leaning on HIS shoulder

• HIS!

• yeah that's right! In your face, (add in name of random rebellion member that also takes an interest in you)!!!

• if he's feeling extra bold, he may use the chance to put an arm around your shoulder

• but very carefully so; he's afraid to overstep any of your boundaries

• after all he's not sure if you'd even like to be held

• there's only one problem: how is he supposed to do anything now?

• he has places to be, things to do, an Empire to fight!

• he's getting kind of warm too

• more than that actually

• Force, are you hiding a heater under all of your layers of clothing?

• also he just remembered; isn't there a meeting he has to attend?

• shouldn't he be working to improve his x-wing?

• he'll check on you out of the corner of his eye, trying to get a feeling for how long you plan to stay like this

• he needs to come up with a way to notify the others of his delay

• because there's no way he's moving even a single muscle

• he's not leaving you behind

• he simply can't!

• not when he was just chosen as your designated spot to rest your pretty but, admittedly, very heavy head

• but not to worry, of course he can handle it!

• he'll be here as long as you need him to be

• RotJ and post RotJ Luke is hard to keep tabs on and thus hard to find

• all you can hope for is to encounter him by pure chance, as he seems to simply have evaporated whenever you wander around searching for him

• though despite his withdrawn ways he's always welcoming and inviting should you happen upon him

• he, above anyone else, understands the importance of rest during a busy day

• he smiles mildly to himself as soon as you settle down and scoot close enough for your arms to touch

• the emotions you are unconsciously emitting, may it be nervousness, excitement or shyness, amuse him a great deal and he's keen to see whether you'll overcome them this time or not

• I don't think he'd tell you outright that he enjoys your presence, that it tends to calm him down and to ease his mind, until much later

• but despite what he is or isn't saying he can't help but feel a little warm inside whenever you come across him during the day

• despite that he can never not worry at least a little bit about your well-being and immediately feels the need to check in on you either with words or a gentle probe with the Force to make sure you're okay

• if he has the time to stay with you for a while he asks if you'd like to lay down

• see, he can shuffle to the side a little and then you could rest your head on his thigh instead of on his shoulder

• wouldn't that be more comfortable?

• he doesn't have a blanket in case you're cold, but maybe you could use his cloak?

• it's not the best, maybe a little rough and still a little dirty from his last trip as he didn't have the time to wash it yet, but it does a good job of keeping a person warm

• he doesn't show how happy he is should you follow his invite and agree to rest beside him, though maybe Leia would notice

• and possibly so would you by how he'd start to absentmindedly stroke your head and play with your hair whenever others are around to keep him properly distracted

• I think Dilf!Luke's reaction would really depend on the current situation/ on how far your relationship has already developed at that point

• here it's important to note though that he'd never tell you off or send you away for initiating contact, not even after just recently getting to know you

• yes he's standoffish and withdrawn, cold in demeanor, seemingly displeased with your presence in his house

• but when it comes down to it he is kind, always has been, even if he hides it away to protect himself

• his behavior towards you is nothing personal; the emotions you call forth are his to deal with

• he may try to at first but ultimately knows deep down that he can't hold you accountable for how his past still troubles him

• he's a father, deeply caring in nature

• no matter what, he could never bring himself to deny anyone his child's age comfort

• though he might be a little confused about why you chose him, of all people, to rest your head on

• after all it's not like he's been going out of his way to be peculiarly inviting or nice - quite the contrary actually

• he'll remain very still for the duration of your vicinity, involuntarily stiffening not only out of surprise but because it's been so long that anyone outside of his immediate family initiated intimacy

• he's so touch starved, so used to rarely feeling a person's warmth, that your simple act catches him off guard

• suddenly he has no idea what to do, how to continue on after

• for your own good and his child's sake he wants to keep you at an arm's length and yet...

• if he wasn't enamored with you before, he is so now

• he thinks back to those moments of doubt and insecurity frequently

• but where they once haunted him, they now serve as a reminder for how far he's come and what he was able to finally leave behind

• he's proud of himself too, yes, but most of all to call you his

• every little touch of yours, and may it be one as innocent as laying your head on his shoulder, fills him with joy

• never, in a thousand years, would he once have believed to be in a position to reciprocate your gentle displays of trust and affection

• but now that he can, now that everything feels a little less like a dream, it's all he wants to do

• (and he does)

• (forehead kisses are his favorite way to, he can't help it)

• (not when you placed yourself so conveniently)

[tangerinesgirl]

Kinktober 2024 - October 6th

A/B/O Heats or Ruts // Sadism-Masochism // Anonymous Sex

Herr König x Fem!Reader

Rating: 18+, explicit

Word count: 1.2k

Warnings: a/b/o dynamics, omegaverse, breeding kink, voyeurism, threesome, monster fucking

Notes: So, this one was interesting as 1) I've never written omegaverse before and 2) figuring out the dynamics in the Cuckoo universe. Basically König is a beta, Reader an omega and the Cuckoo's are alphas.

I don't go into a lot of detail about the world, character decisions, or a lot of the backstories as I would be here all day. So I'm hoping everything makes sense and stands alone here, and is open to interpretation.

Kinktober List || Masterlist || AO3

The reception bell has a very satisfying old school ding. You look around and admire the resort, you imagine a lot of people would think it's dated, but it felt nostalgic to you. You can't help but think Shining though, but luckily it's the middle of summer and there's no evil twins (yet).

You turn back around and a man is suddenly behind the desk, without a sound. You jump, "Oh Jesus".

The man smirks, "Ah not quite my dear. Welcome to the Resort Alpshatten. My name is Herr König, how can I be of assistance?".

König has a very heavy German accent, it takes you a while to process what he's saying. He's about in his 40s, well groomed with stubble and a slight moustache, and the most piercing blue eyes you've ever seen. You almost get lost in them before you remember.

"I would like a room for two nights please".

"Ahh I see, you are omega, no?"

You nod, "Yeah... I uh heard you have special facilities here? I want to make sure this time is comfortable".

"Of course, we have whatever you so desire. I just need a quick signature from you and your ID or credit card."

You hand him your licence and start signing and dating the paperwork, at a glance it seems like any other hotel agreement, don't trash the room, etc.

König returns your licence and unhooks a key from the wall.

"Let me show you to your room".

He reaches down to grab your suitcase. You noticed he's a beta as you catch his scent.

You both walk together to a little secluded cabin.

"This is a very special room for a very special guest. We call it The Lovers Nest".

Internally, you cringe at the name. Even if this is a free upgrade, the facilities seem basic to you, cheap and cheerful. You nod as you take in your surroundings, "This is great".

"I will leave you to get settled in. Let me know if there's anything you need...any time."

---

The start of your heat hits you like a wall through the night. You were hoping this villa away from civilisation would help see through your heats. You were too tired of seeing them through on your own. But you trust König. The hotel had great reviews and has been going for years. You try to distract yourself with the television, having a bath, pleasuring yourself, but nothing seems to be working.

You wonder what else the hotel may have, so you ring reception. A familiar voice picks up the phone, "Alpshatten Reception, König speaking".

You breathe heavily down the line, "Can I get... uh... something, for my room?"

"Say no more, I shall be right over my darling", König hangs up the phone.

---

You throw on some clothes to look somewhat put together. About ten minutes later there's a knock at your door. It's König. He looks at you and notices your clothes dripping with sweat, "Oh this will not do."

You motion for him to come in. Your pheromones are through the roof you're almost dizzy from it. You need relief, stat.

"König, I-"

He catches and places you on the bed noticing you nearly fainting.

"Say less, my dear", his gaze drifts down your body briefly, then back to your eyes, as he kisses you passionately.

He starts to take off your clothes, and you help him. He removes your underwear, slick seeping from your entrance.

"Looks like you really do need my help", König starts to undo his belt, his cock bounces free. He starts rubbing himself with your slick around your entrance, before inserting himself into you.

You wrap your legs around his waist as he starts to thrust inside you. Your hand drifts to your clit, searching for more, rubbing in the same rhythm as his thrusts. König nuzzles into your neck, he pauses a moment and looks at you. He's silently asking for permission to mark you. You pause a moment looking into his deep blue eyes. You've never heard of a beta doing this before, and it kind of excites you. Even though you've just met, you are extremely attracted to him, trusting him. In the heat of the moment, you hold the side of his face and nod.

You arch your back as you feel him bite your scent gland. His teeth dig into your neck while he continues thrusting into you. Your nails claw at his back, still searching for more friction. König licks your neck after claiming you, travelling down to your breasts, licking and nipping his way down your body. Bruises already start to form as he does so.

He picks up his pace, fucking you aggressively into the bed, before his hips start to stutter as he cums inside you. He groans as his seed fills you up, mixing with your slick...but it's not enough.

"König, I- I need more. I need an alpha."

He removes himself from you and nods. Walking over to his trousers, he sits down on a chair next to the bed, removing a wooden flute from the pocket. König begins to play it.

You squirm on the bed, body on fire, rubbing your hips against the bed sheets. Fucking König just made your heat worse.

Something stands at the doorway. The overwhelming alpha scent invades your nostrils as you exhale with relief. They're not like any other alpha you've seen, making a noise like a croaky bird when they see you.

They're on top of you in an instant, shoving their cock inside you, no hesitation. König watches from the sidelines, stroking his already fully erect cock, still coated in his cum and your slick.

You moan as you feel the alphas cock deep inside you, your heat already calming down from their smell and the friction. It doesn't take you or the alpha long to cum. You can feel the alpha's cock stretch you out as they start to knot you. Their cum mixes with the already existing fluids. Your body twitches as you reach your climax, feeling the seed hit against your cervix, filling you up perfectly.

König watches the spectacle, rubbing his cock in his hand. He stands up and walks over to you, lifting your hand to replace his. You stroke him a few times before you adjust your position to be more comfortable.

You roll over so the alpha is on the bed, and you're straddling on top of them, their knot still deep inside you. König can even see it from his angle, the sight making his cock grow harder.

You move over to the edge of the bed and take König's cock down your throat. He starts thrusting inside you, grabbing the back of your head to steady himself. His hands then trail down to where the knot is inside you. He presses down on it, feeling it pulsing seed into you. The sensation sends him over the edge as he cums down your throat. His eyes roll into the back of his head from pleasure as you rub his balls, milking him for all the seed he has. You moan against his dick, feeling the seed drip down you, some leaking out of your mouth, towards your neck and breasts.

You feel warm and satisfied, as your cunt clenches from the knot, when you cum again, moaning loudly. You look towards König who is transfixed on you, watching as you grind your hips down onto the alpha. They release another load of cum deep inside you. Slick seeping out of your entrance.

You have a feeling the three of you will be here for a long time.

[riddles-n-games]

So, I wanted to make this as an appreciation post for the fandom. Looking at all the reveals we've gotten in the last few days and seeing how much the world of TIG has expanded so quickly, I've been getting a bit nostalgic.

When I joined this fandom, it was August of 2022, barely a month out from the release date of The Final Gambit, the finale of The Inheritance Games. I found out about TIG at a random bookstore on a road trip and I had immediate interest (the hot tub scene sold me so quick). I was also still somewhat new to Tumblr back then but I wanted to see what the hype was here.

Back then, we were still in the Averyjameson vs Averygrayson era even though I'd say things were cooling down a bit. But, that's not my point. The community was getting ready for this; there were chapter reveals, theories, and oh, it was awesome. I was so happy to be part of it. And some of the people who made it a lively place back then are still here, but unfortunately, some have gone quiet. @averysjameson, @guppyclato, @lesbianator3000, @margolovescoffeeandbooks, and @cherryschaos, thank you for making my days back then. I know you may have moved on, but I thank you for the contribution you made at the time.

The only thing I will not miss is the toxicity that Averyjameson and Averygrayson fans plagued this fandom with and divided us so much. We had a lot back then to still savor, why did we have to do that to sour the tag when this series had so much more to offer than just the romantic subplot? There was a mystery at large and so many other characters to love. We only seemed to agree on hating Emily and the old man. Moving on, let's never do that again and if there is another love triangle, let's try being more mature about it. I know we can. If Gray, Avery, and Jamie moved on, so can we.

When we were told of The Brothers Hawthorne back in October 2022 and given those first chapters for the new book, I was over the moon. We were going to finally see the POVs of two favorites; Grayson and Jameson. I was so excited to see from Jamie's perspective, to get a mystery set in London and for him to solve it with Avery; it was an Averyjameson dream. However, come the actual release of the book and I was honestly so disappointed. I'm not sure why it didn't hit the levels it should have but I already said my piece on that and while I still have some disdain for that story, I look fondly at the parts I did love. And funny enough, I told myself Grayson's story will just have to do only because I was feeling sour over Jameson's plot. But low and behold, I loved it! It was deep, funny, interesting, and held my attention as if I was in TIG all over again and it hit more high notes than Jameson's. I may attribute that to the familial connections we see displayed there but it felt more rewarding and even if JLB still had more for Grayson's development, that didn't mean Jameson had to suffer for it. However, I'm hoping that this story here was a fluke and I'm putting my best foot forward in believing that maybe reading Averyjameson through Avery's POV again in Games Untold will give back that familiar feeling I've been missing for two years. I never said I wouldn't try again.

Now, we've entered a new era and this is a third for me; The Grandest Game and Games Untold. During this period, I met @hathorneheiress, my fanfic bestie, and a lot of my current supporters have been with me since TBH. I thank you very much for sticking with me by liking, reblogging, and commenting on my posts. You make my day in the same way I assume my content makes yours. I haven't said that enough and I don't think it will ever be. I'm happy that we're all still here now and going into this new unknown with our theories, headcanons, new characters, and plots. I'm sure it will be a blast. Thank you for giving me that feeling again these last few days; it felt like being with Avery and the gang, running through the House, finding another clue, waiting in anticipation what it reveals.

I hope that this next series is everything we hope for it to be, a new start for Gray, a chance to bond with the new characters we met in The Brothers Hawthorne, and an opportunity to make it feel like the hay days of the first book. I hope that Games Untold lets us relish that feeling with the original cast, to relive the good old days, to meet up with some old friends we haven't seen in a while, and to have that final hurrah that leaves us on the highest of highs in the best way possible. Maybe it'll make it easier to say goodbye to the ways it used to be and embrace the new storytellers but of course, with the way JLB leaves us hanging with every story she gives, who is to say that'll be it?

Thank you to everyone who makes theories, headcanons, fanfics, fanart, and so many other things that leave us wanting more. Thank you to everyone who showers that content with support in the form of likes, comments, and reblogs. Thank you to everyone who has been here from the beginning, in the middle, and now. You all made this a special place. Thank you to everyone who made this community that way and continue to do so every day. I'm happy to be a small part of that. See you in the next post.

-Mystery Girl's Red String

[fuzzkaizer]

Montreal Assembly - Worng Side Of Uranus

"If you’re a regular Cabinet peruser, you’ve joined me as I waxed nostalgic for time periods I’ve never lived in, you’ve noticed me orating some company and component history, and you’ve almost certainly seen me talk about the best effects in their respective classes. And while there are plenty of classes and there is certainly enough love to go around, today I present you with my favorite pedal of all time: the Montreal Assembly Wrong Side of Uranus.

While many of you know Scott Monk and his amazing company for the Count to 5, he’s been in business for much longer than you think, and he’s made more things than most people know about. I first found out about him in 2009 while chasing wares by one of pedal history’s most sought-after builders, Etienne Blythe of Sonic Crayon.

If you were as into pedals as I was in the late-aughts… well, there’s a chance you still may never have heard of Sonic Crayon. However, at one time, Sonic Crayon’s wares were in extreme demand, with resellers ransacking the limited inventory and flipping the pedals for four times the price. His most famous may have been the Hollow Earth. His most unobtainable may have been the Anti-Nautilus. The one I wanted was the Moth.

The Moth was Sonic Crayon’s bitcrusher, and back in 2008 and 2009, that wasn’t an effect you could get just anywhere. However, Sonic Crayon had an old-school way of doing things: When he felt like making a batch, he did. Then he put 10 or so up for sale on his blog, and by word of mouth they’d sell out in minutes. One time, when checking his blog for a potential drop, I saw a new post where he said that if you’re tired of waiting for a Moth, there’s another Canadian guy making bitcrushers and that his were admittedly better. Who am I to argue? Let’s go.

That company was Montreal Assembly. At that time, Scott had only released two pedals, the Uranus and another insane device called Probability of a Fax Machine. When I heard the crude “basement demos,” I was sold. The problem: the sales tactics were exactly the same as Sonic Crayon—made and sold whenever. I never caught one. But my friend did.

My friend had gone off to college and left a present for me. I took a train and met their dad at a station in the suburbs, retrieved the box and opened it right there on the train. The Uranus was inside. When I got home I plugged everything I could into it. I messaged its creator, Scott, on Gmail Chat and geeked out when he answered.

I asked him if it was possible to add a mix circuit to the Uranus and Scott took time out of studying for signal processing exams to draw me up a somewhat complicated add-on schematic. Being somewhat intermediate with prototyping board, I hadn’t done a whole lot of my own stripboard layouts. Be that as it may, I cobbled it together. It worked. Now, I could blend the clean signal in with the bitcrushed one.

Despite being housed in a spray painted computer project box and featuring a barren aesthetic landscape, the Uranus is an impeccably engineered piece of sonic kit. Like most bitcrushers, there are knobs for bit rate and sample rate reduction. The third is volume. However, the bit rate knob is a pushbutton rotary encoder; as you turn it, it displays the bitrate in the seven-segment display. When the pedal is in bypass, the display flashes “bypass,” one letter at a time. Pressing down on the rotary encoder cycles through a slew of modes—ten to be exact—called things like “Dialup,” “Hostile” and more, including an incredible bitcrushed trem called “Blipo'' and a modulated sample rate mode called “Plunger.” It’s total labor-of-love stuff and I am here for it.

Mine is labeled 2010 and is one of a handful known to exist, and the only one with this mix knob. You may have seen one in a promotional photo that Strymon posted of its El Capistan being used in the studio by Godspeed! You Black Emperor, with the Uranus riding sidesaddle. Many, many people have never heard of it, and some of you may have never heard of Montreal Assembly before now. I urge you to change that.

At NAMM 2020, I actually saw Scott walking by our booth and I recognized him from some old demos. I ran down the aisle and tapped him on the shoulder. He looked right at me, then read my name badge, looked back up and said “Heyyy, Kula, how’s that bitcrusher treating you?” What a legend."

cred: catalinbread.com/blogs/kulas-cabinet/montreal-assembly-wrong-side-of-uranus

[surrealisticduvet]

Album Review: And the Hits Just Keep on Comin’ (1972)

With a title that snarkily alludes to his record company’s demand for hits, which he had not been producing, this album somehow manages to be deeply personal - to me and to Michael. From the liner notes:

“One of the great advantages of being an artist is that I am able to utilize my craft periodically to write messages to myself. Basically that it what this album is all about. I have tried to be as skillful as I could in the hopes that you as a listener would not feel left out. I have tried to make music as honest and beautiful, as harmonious and graceful, as I know how to make music ... But I am afraid that I must admit, and somewhat unabashedly, that I did it for me. I hope that on whatever level of unfoldment this music may find you that it will reward your attention and contribute something to your consciousness. I personally enjoy singing along to it all... But then it's very easy for me. I know all the words. Papa Nes.”

Not only is this album very beautiful and graceful musically, it is deeply sensitive, touching, and introspective. With the base album clocking in at just over 30 minutes, I suggest you just give it a listen yourself in order to really see what I mean. 

(and the review just keeps on comin' - below the cut!)

Favorite parts of the album:

In conjunction with the points mentioned above, perhaps the dearest part of this album to me is the fact that he did not cave and try to write a hit by assembling a third instance of the National Band which would have probably been fairly mediocre, or quit music altogether (he was under a contract, but so was he during the Monkees, and he was willing to pay a very high price to quit that one.) Instead, he whittled down his lineup to just himself on guitar and Red on pedal steel and recorded ten very simple but perfect songs. Even with the inclusion of the hit “Different Drum” this album did not make any waves during its time - such was the extent of Michael’s dedication to his craft, that he was not afraid (although he could certainly be frustrated and cynical) to put out a quality work that was at best unappreciated and at worst overshadowed by a poor copy. Personal favorites off of this album are “Tomorrow & Me,” “Harmony Constant,” “Roll With the Flow,” and the instrumental and initially unreleased “Cantata and Fugue in C&W” (which you may recognize from the background of a few Headquarters Sessions tracks) which I find to be a very soothing and almost nostalgic ending to the full album with all of its bonus tracks. One last note - every time Michael says “Go, Red” before a pedal steel solo, an angel gets its wings! 

Critiques:

If there is a weak link to this album, or a song that seems out of place, it is probably “The Candidate” - it’s a perfectly good song in its own right, but its cynical lyrics and darker tone might have been better suited for an album like Nevada Fighter or Tantamount to Treason. Finally, “Listening” is one of the few times that his poetic lyrics do not translate particularly well to the format of a song - the timing can be a bit awkward or forced at times. That being said, Red saves the track with a trippy sort of melting-chord pedal steel backing, so it retains its place on my no-skip list.

Conclusion:

Michael himself seems to know this album was one of his best, as he usually played several songs off of it when doing shows in the ‘90s, and he even did a reprisal tour in 2019 highlighting the full album. There’s something very special about seeing him perform these songs decades after they were written; you can see that he still stands by the words, and I hope wherever he is now he knows that I do indeed enjoy singing along to all of them too.

[horsetailcurlers2]

addison montgomery fanfiction recs by pairing

(although i am *relatively* new to the greys fandom, once i finished season three i immediately obsessively scoured the internet for any addison montgomery centric fanfiction i could get my hands on. here are just a few of my favorite ones for each of my addison ships (of which there are many). this is by no means an exhaustive list. my qualifications for this are that i’m cool and have good taste and spend way too much time thinking about fictional people)

ADDEK:

-“The Climbing Way” by winter machine (this is actually probably one of my favorite fanfictions of all time, period. this author is just absolutely brilliant at capturing their dynamic and all of its complexities. the entire thing is actually from derek’s POV which i was surprised how much i enjoyed considering i can sometimes be a derek hater lol but it provides some really good insight into his character without being as forgiving as canon or as bash-y as some fics (if that makes any sort of sense?). it also combines two of my favorite addek tropes: “sad baby backstory” and “traumatic event forces them to actually confront their issues”. it is also a very captivating portrait of derek and mark’s realtionship and has lots and lots of flashbacks. big angst warning especially for the early chapters.)

-“Some Bright Morning” by winter machine (i just can’t get enough of this author. i love any addek fic that heavily features savvy and weiss bc i think they should have made more appearances in canon. or savvy should’ve at least lmao. weiss was kind of a dick. but i like him in this fic! this is a very very interesting AU because it takes place largely outiside of canon settings and features a lot of OCs. it also takes place around early season one so the mark wound is still very fresh. its set entirely on a small island in georgia during savvy’s mother’s funeral so there’s plenty of forced proximity and bed sharing. the original setting and cast of characters are really fleshed out and completely captivating. like, i would read a whole separate story just about this island and its inhabitants. also features lots of background on savvy and addison’s friendship. and plenty of angst of course. you may be sending a pattern with these recommendations)

-“do you think i have forgotten (about you)” by crime_wives (this one legitimately made me sob. like, my body produced actual tears. angsty one shot. not happy-addek. a perfect snapshot of their tragic ending)

- “Unhinged (AddisonandDerekandMark)” by RulerOfAllThatIsEvilChiFlowers (very dark. very twisty. somewhat non linear.)

- “This Hurt Can Teach Us Both” by darlingwrecks (oh my lord this one is so so addek- bittersweet, sexy, nostalgic, painful and delightful all at once. my favorite thing about this writer is the way they write backstory, especially for the Med School Trio. this is also kind of fun because we never got to see how these two dealt with their post divorce logistics. derek was just kind of like “take all the property and fuck off” which is not at all how these things work lol)

MEDDISON:

- “lately she’s undressing for revenge” by emilyprentits (only read this if you want to be driven to tear your own hair out by the emotions this will make you feel. this is one of the fics that fully convinced me to ship meddison. so so so good and it’s like it was written from inside of meredith’s actual brain)

-“i’ll show you every version of yourself tonight” by withpeopleinperson (two words: stripper addison. read it. be forewarned it’s only one chapter and has not been updated in a few years but it’s a GREAT chapter regardless)

-“the seven stages of intoxication” by theprincessdiarist (meredith grey doling out meredith grey levels of emotional dysfunction. featuring loads and loads of delightfully frustrating mutual pining)

-“Sex and Caring in Seattle” by Bluefall (meredith once again having totally normal and regular feeling about her ex boyfriend’s wife. i love this one because they are both just kind of bisexual disasters and derek is just Also There. i love the way this author perfectly captures meredith’s perpetual inability to navigate her own emotions)

*EDIT: i also realized i forgot to add that these last two were recommended to me by @crime-wives !!!

-“open the floodgates up” by SugarsweetRomantic (this has EVERYTHING you could want in a meddison fic: mutual hurt/comfort, bed sharing, friends to lovers, these two being absolute dumbasses about each other. had me crying and also kicking my feet. genuinely)

MADDISON:

-“Make This Go On Forever” by darlingwrecks (i am so in love with this universe. i usually don’t gravitate toward kid/family centric fics but this one is so so much more than that. it’s maddison, if those two had made a real go of things, stayed in new york, and kept the pregnancy. there’s even some background merder eventually (which is not usually my jam but i like in this context). very very fluffy at times, a bit angsty at others, super in character but iirc i think this was written pretty early on in the show so addison and mark’s backgrounds may be a smidge different than in canon. this is the link to the rewritten version (i think?) on ao3. the author had the original up on live journal back in the day and i could have SWORN i read a sequel that i found a link to in the depths of their LJ but i cannot find it anywhere rn)

-“When I Grow Up” by winter machine (another maddison-if-they’d-stayed-in-new-york-and-addison-kept-the-pregnancy, but with a twist that brings them to seattle to see derek, who they haven’t spoken to in seven years. a fantastic plot but also sort of just a brilliant exploration of how mark and addison would be as parents given their own childhoods and how they have pretty much been cut off from the one healthy(ish) family dynamic that either of them have experienced. there’s also background merder in this one and it actually kind of made me like merder which is a major feat)

-“Celery” by winter machine (a fun little one shot featuring Derek Being An Idiot, Drunk Addison, and Mark Crossing Boundaries. a little bit sad and a little bit funny. again, everything by this author is just great)

JADDISON:

- “A Certain Slant of Light” by darlingwrecks (this is for those of us that were weirded out by addison’s convo with amelia in season 18. a more fleshed out exploration of addison’s mental health during the pandemic. it’s a very raw and honest portrayal of depression and anxiety and how someone like addison would navigate it while being a doctor in a global pandemic and raising an 8 year old. it’s not nearly as bleak as it sounds though. lots of fluff, a little smut. also touches on how addison might’ve grieved mark and derek. and archer makes some appearances which i loved (i know he’s an asshole but i really like addison’s brother lol))

-“Diamonds in the Sky” by Ziaaaaa_sdc (there’s so few jaddison fics out there, probably because of how compressed their relationship timeline was as they tried to wrap up the show, but this writer has several and they’re all so good. there definitely aren’t enough fun AUs for them so i was really excited when i first found this. its Ballet School Jaddison and there’s actually only three chapters atm. no idea if it will be updated ever again but it’s still more than worth a read. a smidge angsty so far. also seems to be setting up a little enemies to lovers arc)

CADDISON:

-“Help Me (With The Butterflies)” by BlackRoseMatron (a very sweet one shot. this author is single-handedly keeping the caddison shippers fed and i love it. they also have some really great meddison stuff)

[askhakukusanagi]

Hello. This is Jiro Kirisaki. I wanted to inquire about a couple of anomalies that seem to inhabit Hotarubi that I've seen around campus. There have been sightings of both a biwa that can play itself and a doll floating around. I have seen the biwa. In fact, I find myself hoping to see it while on campus. I enjoy the music it makes. It's soothing and somewhat nostalgic. I haven't seen the doll yet. Are these anomalies welcome additions to Hotarubi? I understand the human students are a bit skittish when it comes to these things.

"Oh, hey, Jiro! Fancy seeing you here."

"The biwa... hmm...nostalgic. "

Haku thought deeply for a moment, brows furrowed as if he were deeply considering his next words.

"Yeah, I've seen it around. It's uh... it usually follows me around a good bit, though, it seems lately, it's wandered its way over to your neck of the woods, huh?"

"Maybe you should come to Hotarubi, so you can listen to it play. I'll make some tea and see if I can get it come to the teahouse a while. I'm not sure why, but, I have a feeling that h-...it would be happy to play for you."

He then shifted his weight a little, a smile spreading across his face. He seemed almost a little reminescent, briefly bittersweet. "The doll... Yes. It's an addition to Hotarubi. I heard one of the students mentioning that it reminded them of someone they knew, so, we chose to keep it around. It's harmless, really. Just curious, and, well, trying his best to he helpful."

Haku didn't dare say something untrue, lest the doll or biwa be in the room with them, or in case Jiro may believe it. He didn't know whether or not Zenji was ready to reconnect with Jiro, but, perhaps babysteps were a wise choice.

"If you'd like to see them for yourself, how about I ask Subaru if we could host you for a while. Of course, with your choice of tea."

For @ask-jiro-kirisaki

《Sorry for the wait!! I had to think a lot about whether Haku would tell him the truth or not. Or a round about truth like these. I think Haku would want Jiro to know, but, part of him fears that if they meet, Zenji may pass on. He hasn't been able to figure out what last wish is keeping him there as a ghost, or if he doesn't have one due to ghoulification, so he'd want to leave that up to Zenji to decide. Sort of like an insurance that, if Zenji sees his brother again, he would know in advance that there is a chance he could chose to pass on.》

[11thwardtls]

Memory Defrag | TRACK 2 - RECORD A | Azekawa Kinari's Ward Mayor Novel Translation

Warnings and Disclaimers:

This translation is not professionally done and is not proofread. Edits and clean-ups may come at a later date.

Not a 1:1 translation either and some liberties into localization were taken into account.

This novel will contain spoilers for the Ev3ns Main Story: "Chained Up Scarlet".

Appropriate Content and Trigger Warnings will be added if needed.

May be used for quotebots/masterlists etc.

I am not fluent and self-studying Japanese (albeit at turtle speed), this was translated by ear and with the help of a JP dictionary, so please feel free to point out any errors!

CW: Discussions about Death and Terminal Illness

—/—/—/—/—/—

“Raito, Kuguri. I am about to enter my own data maintenance so I’ll be in sleep mode for several hours. 

My breathing and heartbeats may stop, but I should wake up in about five hours after it has begun. 

I may also enter a semi-conscious mode while my memory is being organized,  although this is nothing to be worried about.” By nighttime, Raito and Kuguri have returned so I let them know about this occurrence as courtesy to my roommates.

Neither of the two were surprised about this as they had seen me in a suspended state during self-maintenance several times before. However, as the scheduled time was longer than usual, Raito’s lips curved into somewhat of a frown and asked, “Is everything alright?”

“Sleeping for such a long time as if you’ve died, Plüss? That sounds wonderful, I wonder what kind of pranks I should play?” Kuguri narrowed his eyes and smiled slyly. 

Raito quickly seized Kuguri’s arm. 

“Don’t worry about him, Kinari. I’ll keep a watchful eye.” He said.

As he was approached by Raito, Kuguri displayed visible disgust and shook his arm away. 

Either way, I trust that these two will not harm me, so after I laid down on my bed and entered sleep mode, I went to uncover deep into my memory storage.

Up until now, there lay a box of data that I dared not to open. 

[…Someday, if you ever feel like it, you can use the contents of this box as a sample of emotional data as you wish.] 

A long time ago, the developer… My father said that it was a recorded piece of data I had saved buried deep within me. 

[This storage space will be reorganized. Would you like to view the following data?]

With this message appearing on my retina, I selected [Yes].

Then, I heard a voice.

How nostalgic… It was my Father’s voice.

—/—/—/—/—/—

[It’s finally the weekend, and I can finally be with Kinari[1].]

It was a stronger, a more youthful voice than I had remembered him having. 

One could clearly hear the love in his voice for his young son. 

He seemed guilty that he was busy with work and couldn’t be with him all the time. 

It seems that today was a long-awaited day off, and the raw emotions of the developer, wanting to make his son happy although he himself felt quite lonely, came surging into my own heart. 

An image was then projected into my retina.

The developer was walking with a young, original Kinari, hand in hand.

On the floor of what appeared to be a movie theater, the pair stood in front of a poster for an anime film that just finished its screening.

And then, with a disposable camera of which was popular during the Heisei era[2], they took pictures while simultaneously blending in with the crowd. 

“It was so fun! Papa, that moo-vii[3] was was soooooo amazing!” 

“Wasn’t it hard to understand?”

“I[4] understood everything…! Because I’m smart, aren’t I?”

Seeing his son be so proud of himself, the developer felt a strong, yet warm and painful feeling well up in his heart. This is... ‘love’. 

It’s called ‘Love’. 

I understood that much. 

“Kinari, shall we go eat dinner? It’s time for you to take your medicine.”

“I don’t want the powdered kind if it’s not in ice cream...”

“That’s alright. We can go to a restaurant that serves some.” 

The developer joined his hands together with Kinari and continued to walk away.

Each of Kinari’s steps were small and tiny. In accordance with that, the developer walked slowly to match his pace. 

As they walked together, Kinari began to sing a song that he’d heard from the movie they watched.

He had perfect pitch—it was almost unbelievable that it was a child singing a song. 

“You really like to sing, huh, Kinari.”

“Mhm. When I grow up, I’m gonna become a singer.”

The developer gazed at his adorable, darling son.

In his heart, he had felt the sudden surprise and joy of learning of his child’s dream for the first time. What soon followed after was the feeling of grief, that thought of [This child may never grow up into an adult.], and understanding that as fact.  

[——I will cure Kinari’s illness.]

The developer swore to himself. 

“I’ll definitely make it happen.”

“I don’t want Papa to make it happen, I’m gonna make it happen myself!”

Kinari innocently tilted his head to the side. 

In his pure eyes, Papa[5] had simply said something weird. Once I thought of it that way, it suddenly occurred to me.  

To a boy as young as Kinari, the future is limitless, infinite even. 

The thought of death had not yet dyed his pure heart. 

The developer had the artificial organs he was researching at home in his mind. 

In order to cure Kinari’s illness, he persisted with his self-funded and ongoing research. 

He held his son’s hand, determined that he’d surely extend his lifespan, no matter what. 

“...You were really good at singing the Yokohama City Song[6], weren’t you? Can I request that you sing it for me?” 

When he requested this of his son, Kinari’s face lit up, smiling ever so brightly. 

He started to sing, so overjoyed. 

Even the people passing by turned their heads with smiles on their faces as they listened to the child sing. 

“Papa, do you like this song?”

“I do. It’s even better if it was you singing.”

“Then, I’ll record it on a cassette tape so you can listen to it even at work. Will that make papa happy?”

“Ah, of course I’ll be.”

What came to the developer’s mind was love, kindness and sadness—and a little anger.

Hatred towards the illness that was destroying his child. 

Supporting this is his burning resolve and determination. 

Kinari’s singing voice was then lost in the noise of a sea of people.

—/—/—/—/—/—

And the record of that small family holiday ended right there. 

—/—/—/—/—/—

Translation Notes: 

1 - I think this is already known and established already but Kinari and the Original’s names were spoken the same, but are not spelt the same. Our Kinari uses 幾 kanji, and the original uses 生. 

2 - 平成時代 (1989-2019), the same time period that frequently come up with Chihiro and Tao. 

3 - Baby Kinari speaks in a lot of Hiragana so I purposely misspelled some things he says. Also translated お父さん, into a more childish “Papa”! Following suit, I used easier-to-understand language when Mr. Azekawa is speaking to his son. 

4 - Sorry for another footnote but this isn’t anything particular, he just used ‘boku’ in Hiragana here. I thought it was cute. Oops. 

5 -  Since its our Kinari narrating here, I worded it to match the kid’s speech pattern, even if he said the same old お父さん.

6 - The same song Kinari sings in Main Story SideA-15, and the same song recorded on the cassette tape in B-06.

—/—/—/—/—/—

Directory:

Main Page | TRACK 1 | TRACK 2 | TRACK 3 | TRACK 4 | TRACK 5

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC REVIEW: You Should Be So Lucky by Cat Sebastian

4.25/5. Releases 5/7/24.

Vibes: New Yooooork, romance so sweet you have to smile, love after loss, and like... I don't know how to put this... the feeling Bull Durham gives me but gay and less toxically masculine?

Heat Index: 4/10

Reporter Mark Bailey doesn't want to cover baseball, and he especially doesn't want to cover Eddie O'Leary, a former rising star who's been playing the worst ball of his life. But it may be better than staying at home and mourning the partner he never got to claim while he was alive. Eddie, on the other hand, is a bit perturbed about giving a personalized account of his current losses to an apparent snob. But as they travel around New York together, Mark finds himself giving some of his own story to Eddie... and falling in love in the process. It's impossible for Eddie to be out, and Mark doesn't want to be someone's secret again--what could their future possibly be?

I love Cat Sebastian, and this book gives me what I want from her: humor, swoony romance, and a richly described, fleshed out world. I've been really impressed by her ability to weave in a setting that really doesn't have a strong "background" in historical romance--midcentury NYC. The way she writes it feels both nostalgic and tangible; and it's not easy for historical romance authors to step out of the settings readers are more used to (Regency, Victorian).

There's something cozy and wry to the way Eddie and Mark fall in love, and I frankly adored their contrasting personalities. Young, somewhat bewildered Eddie, trying his fucking best all the time. Picky, somewhat pretentious, jaded Mark--just unable to stop himself from falling for Eddie's puppyish eagerness.

If you loved We Could Be So Good, you'll love this. If you're less familiar with Sebastian, I suspect you will, too.

Quick Takes:

--There's a rich history of baseball movies, right? Many of which are enjoyed by people who don't get baseball. As referenced above, I personally love Bull Durham (even if the stars are............................... hmm). I have no idea what goes on during baseball, but I do. This book works similarly. You can tell Sebastian knows what she's talking about, you don't have to understand baseball to get the book. It's portrayed in that kind of shorthand that's really about creating a vibe and a setting for the love story, which is so smart.

--I loved the way Mark's grief was depicted. It's arguably harder for him to move on with his life because so few people know that he is grieving, that he did lose his partner. And it's not treated as something that has to compete with his new love for Eddie, and it's not treated like something that's just going to magically go away. It's always going to be there; and it can exist beside his love for Eddie without invalidating it.

I find that a lot of romance novels involving widows and widowers downplay the previous spouse, and I get that. It's difficult to tell a love story that could be accidentally overshadowed by a previous one. However, that can be a little repetitive for me, and it was nice to read a book in which the romance was so tender and so REAL and so centered (there isn't much PLOT PLOT here--it's two people falling in love, there ya go) that also acknowledged that there was another tender and real love story beforehand. Plus, Eddie's understanding and lack of insecurity makes him even more lovable.

--In a lot of ways, this book is low stakes. It's mostly character, there isn't a lot of drama in the romance, they get along, and so forth. However, on the other hand... it does have very high stakes, right? Eddie cannot be a successful professional athlete while being out. Mark, who's kind of quietly out (and works at a newspaper that is pretty much aware of this and okay with it, through some stuff that has to do with WCBSG) understandably doesn't want to be hidden in the shadows. How do we address that?

Personally, I really liked how Sebastian did it. Balancing realism and romance is challenging, and I think she handled this without sacrificing either aspect.

--Ooooh I love people falling in love without realizing it, and damn, Mark does that. But you as the reader also kind of slip into them being in love, too. It feels totally natural. There's a real "that's the summer I fell in love" to this one, and I don't really know if that's going to make sense to a lot of people, but it does to ME.

The Sex:

The door isn't CLOSED, but it's kinda close to being there. You know exactly what's happening, and there are several scenes, but it's all sort of... implied. Even though you're there with them. It's all very romantic (and kind of titillating at points--it's so fun to see Eddie and Mark talk around sex and then get very blunt about it at points) but I would be lying if I said I didn't miss the heat level Sebastian wrote in The Queer Principles of Kit Webb. It's not ridiculous level of heat, it's just a bit more explicit.

Read this and get lulled into love--while also kind of wanting a hot dog? (Literally, not figuratively.) And to walk down a sidewalk in a sort of warm and nonexistent yet also very existent New York City? Talking to someone you're falling for, knowing that they're falling for you, while imagining kissing their mouth?

It's that sensibility.

Thanks to NetGalley and Avon for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[businesscasualart]

I’m curious if you have any thoughts or headcanons about Onslaught and alcohol. I imagine being a semi-functioning evil team is stressful and if Psimon is chucking everyone’s vapes then cigs and 420 isn’t an option, then alcohol is the second best thing right? Besides drinking together is team building and leads to this wonderful thing called “actually talking about your trauma instead of bottling it up for once”.

AAAA sorry about taking so long to get around to this.

I need to stop checking my inbox until I’m FULLY ready to yap and ramble. I need that lil blue dot reminding me I have asks so bad.

That IS a good question and I’m so flattered that y’all bother with my content. <3 I think they’d be at least somewhat different about alcohol.

(Sorry for any typos in advance, I wrote this mostly at various doctor’s appointments. ALSO. Last thing to apologize for. I’ve never vaped or smoked when I wrote the last part, but I also have never consumed alcohol and that fact may be more evident in this one)

Cw: Alcohol and some references to alcoholism, uh…references to angst but maybe more comfort than angst, kinda all over the place <\3

Okay so, in the beginning, Onslaught was Mostly teens. Psimon was BARELY even old enough to drink in America at the ripe young age of 21, flat. And I thinnkkkkkk Psimon is American? Even if he’s not, it seems the rest of Onslaught is, so I think  Psimon would probably step up and be all “No, no,” confiscate all the bottles and cans and it’d make the teens so mad and indignant. Literal felons are being BABYSAT. Even when they travel where the drinking age is lower. 

But when the teenagers turn old enough to drink, they have a whole little birthday celebration with what they can get, and of course, offer the first taste of alcohol. Their choice for what it is, as long as the team could afford it. Of course, they laugh and tease if they recoil from the taste. 

Most of the team is pretty fond of drinking, usually together. It’s nice bonding.

Devastation is the only exception to the “Psimon Says no alcohol until you’re 21” rule from the beginning. The team can argue “She is LITERALLY one (1) year old” all they want. She is LITERALLY built different, Psimon is fine with her drinking. 

Idk if she particularly has a preference for any kind. She’s probably one of those who subscribe to the belief of “It ain’t right if it doesn’t burn a bit going down”. Wine is probably somewhat…nostalgic. For some reason. Takes her back to someplace she can’t name, someplace she’s never been, but I think that’d be one of the only reasons she might prefer wine. Her taste may be all over. May be whatever’s strong and good. I’m no alcohol savant, what do I know? 

She likes to drink to celebrate and to bond, sometimes to ebb at stress. It takes a LOT to get her drunk, but that’s not gonna stop her from getting drunk when she has the time and money burn on it. She gets drunk and gets even more jovial and warm and open, though she’s usually relatively open. Also, haphazard. She becomes a big fan of violating people’s personal space. Hugs, patting backs, throwing her arm around them, leaning on people shorter than her, etc.

It can annoy a lot of people if she does it too much, Psimon strangely doesn’t seem to mind too much tho…aheem…

Besides that, Psimon’s generally against the team drinking to the point of drunkenness, but there’s little to actually do about it; he struggles to track all of their limits, and when he’s focusing on one, that leaves all the others alone. He tries to avoid getting drunk himself instead. Someone has to stay sober, and his psionic powers don’t mix well with too much alcohol. And he’s the leader. It makes the most sense that it’d be him to keep his wits about him.

The Terror Twins are hearty drinkers; they also can drink a lot and get very warm and jovial when drinking, like Devastation. Any outing to a bar feels celebratory with them. They decided they don’t like to get fully drunk though, not too regularly. First Tuppence decided this, then Tommy when she pointed it out to him. They don’t want to open up more quickly than they intend. Psimon can relate to that, so he defends them when they drop out. That doesn’t stop them from having fun with everyone else though, or helping when things get bad. They’re usually decent at opening up on their own time anyway. 

Shimmer and Mammoth like to follow Psimon’s lead and keep excess drinking to a minimum. A couple of shots, a glass or maybe two, it really depends on what it is, but that’s it. Mammoth can take more than his sister, just by merit of him being so much larger, but he doesn’t like the taste of alcohol at all while his sister does. However, the second either of them get any kind of buzz ebbing at their senses is the second they quit. 

If they’re found sitting down and downing drinks, something is wrong. They’d only let go so much if they’re trying to drown their problems. Then, they can use some company. Someone lending an ear to their sorrows doesn’t sound half bad. 

If another team member is in a similar situation and needs someone to simply sit next to them and just be, or listen, Baran and Selinda are quick to be there for them.

Junior drinks for fun, he’ll seize any opportunity to drink. That man is getting “Krunk” as the kids say. He doesn’t know his limits and if he did, there’s no telling if he’d actually adhere to them. He WILL blackout if no one keeps an eye on him. He will be puking in the trashcan. The rest of the team has to steer him away from opportunities to drink lest he develop alcoholism at the tender age of 5-minutes-into-being-able-to-legally-drink. 

His mood becomes turbulent and fragile. He’ll typically be happy, loud, reckless, aggressive; but at the mention of the wrong thing or at the sight of something that takes him way back, he can breakdown rather easily. It’s actually pretty common for his drunken stints, when they get out of hand, to end in tears. Junior has to be one of the least repressed members of Onslaught, due in no small part to moments like these; where he lets his emotions run rampant and they go down a bad path. 

He’d expect ridicule, but Onslaught is actually very sympathetic to his struggles and complaints, whatever they may be. He can air his dirty laundry as much as he wants with little to no judgement, something he’s not used to. Once he starts, it’s hard to stop, but the team will listen until the end and it’s something he’s really grateful for. Despite being a troublemaker and general criminal, he tries to pay the team’s kindness towards him forward as much as he can.

If Psimon does end up drinking to lose his troubles, he usually does it alone, when everyone else is asleep. Or at least when he thinks everyone else is asleep. Sometimes someone will wander about looking for a late night snack or a glass of water, or even search for him himself. He dislikes being caught like that, dislikes not being so impervious and put-together for the team. 

Without fail, they’ll sit with him awhile. They’ll ask, they’ll listen, they’ll joke or comfort or sit in silence. Psimon will wither in place or try to get them to leave him be, but they’re a stubborn lot. They’re far from the most “upstanding” of company, but they treat him with the same care, empathy, and concern he tries to treats them with; and Psimon finds afterwards that, despite not enjoying being caught in a state of weakness or forced to open up, he wouldn’t have rather it have gone any other way.

[thisaintascenereviews]

I Was (Sort Of) Wrong About Green Day

Pop-punk band Green Day has been a thorn in my side for the past decade, but that’s mainly because I’ve tried a few different times to get into them with no avail. I didn’t listen to classic albums like Dookie or American Idiot as a kid, as when most people in their late 20s to late 30s did, but they passed me by. I got into MCR, Paramore, and Fall Out Boy, but Green Day was a band that felt a bit before my time, although American Idiot was released in 2004, and I was also getting into Blink-182 a few years later, but I digress. Green Day has always been a band that I’ve respected more than I’ve liked, but something just never clicked for me. Maybe it was vocalist Billie Joe Armstrong’s whiny voice, maybe it was their lyrics that either tried too hard to be “political,” or their juvenile lyrics that were admittedly fun, but didn’t say anything I couldn’t get anywhere else.

I’ve also listened to a few of their other albums, such as 2016’d Revolution Radio, and that was a rather negative experience, although I’m sure the album may be better now in retrospect. That album showed me that they were out of ideas and running on autopilot, and I never listened to 2020’s Father Of All Motherfuckers, but I heard that album was so bad, the band only made it to leave their label. Sure, or they just made bad music, but saying they purposely made bad music makes them look better and justifies that to fans, but I digress.

That’s changed recently, at least somewhat, because like with my piece on U2 earlier this year, I can say that I was wrong about Green Day… Sort of. I’ve got a few caveats to that, but while I’m not a superfan of them, I’ve begun to appreciate them as of late. It all started with their newest album, Saviors, released in January of this past year. I don’t what propelled me to listen to that album, but I’ve wanted to get into Green Day for the longest time, at least understand what people see in them. Saviors, while not a perfect album, kind of achieved that for me. It’s a really fun, charming, catchy, and potent pop-punk / alternative album that boasts some good hooks, solid vocal performances from Billie Joe Armstrong, but I was really surprised by it.

It made me reevaluate this band, but Saviors is the best thing they’ve done in years, so it made me want to go back to their biggest two albums — 1994’s Dookie and 2004’s American Idiot. Those two albums celebrate big anniversaries this year, and in retrospect, they’re worth celebrating and talking about. Both of these albums are very different, but they’re albums that showcase this band in two different places in their career. I wanted to look at these albums again in a new light and re-examine them, so to speak. Maybe my thoughts would be different these days, or I can appreciate these two beloved albums in a new way.

Dookie, the band’s breakthrough album from 1994, is considered to be a classic pop-punk album, and for good reason. Billie Joe’s vocals are snotty and sneering, but in a really fun way, the lyrics are about things that a young adult would have experienced in 1994 (and even today to an extent), but the instrumentation is a solid mix between aggressive punk and poppy melodies that brought back pop-punk to the mainstream. I wouldn’t say the album is one of my favorites of all time, but I really enjoy it now. It’s basic pop-punk, but it’s a really fun, energetic, and nostalgic album that takes me back to a time when I was too young to even remember it.

American Idiot, however, is considered to be the band’s resurgence, especially when pop-punk was just starting to make its way into the mainstream. This album was also the band’s first post-9/11 album, and a couple of tracks, including the title track, subtly addressed the current state of politics in the United States. I never totally got into the album, kind of because it was too long for its own good. The album was a rock opera, which is cool in retrospect, but it felt a little heavy handed and cliched, both in terms of its story and lyrical content. The album wasn’t so much political, as it was about a main character that was trying to break away from the monotony of everyday life and the hellscape of the world in 2004. It felt a tad pretentious at times, basically acting like the album was saying things extremely profound, although nothing it said was new or innovative.

On top of listening to Dookie and American Idiot, I also went and listened to a couple of Billie Joe Armstrong’s side projects, including Foxboro Hot Tubs, and The Longshot. In the title of this piece, I say I was sort of wrong about Green Day, and here’s the real meat of this piece — I’ve found that I like Billie Joe’s side projects more than Green Day itself. Both of those bands, while being side projects, show something that a lot of Green Day albums I’ve heard don’t have — fun. Dookie is a lot of fun, but American Idiot and a lot of the other albums I’ve heard feel like a job on their end and a chore on my end; it’s clear they’re not having fun, and that they’re just after a check.

Maybe it’s because Billie Joe can let loose, and do whatever he wants, but with Foxboro Hot Tubs and their one and only album from 2008, Stop Drop And Roll, he can show some other influences, too, such as 60s psych-rock, garage-rock, and even some proto-punk. The Longshot, however, is more 70s punk and power pop, and their one and only album from 2018, Love Is For Losers, is a wonderful little album. It’s catchy, fun, loose, and straightforward, which is everything that the last handful of Green Day albums weren’t.

Saviors, however, changed that, because I was surprised at how fun the band sounded, as maybe they needed to go independent to release something solid again (although it’s still licensed to Reprise, their longtime label, so I don’t know if they dropped their last album to get out of their contract. Saviors is the best album they’ve put out in 20 years, because if you look at the stuff they’ve done, it’s not good. They had that bad trilogy album in 2012, and while Rev Rad was “better,” it wasn’t anything special, but Saviors is the first time a lot of people are realizing that Green Day is actually good, and they can still be good, not necessarily a legacy band (not unlike that of a lot of their peers). I don’t know what their future holds, but if Saviors is any indication, they’ve got a handful more albums under their belt before they call it quits.