#and that liara is the only companion still alive

[agirlking]

"What happened to everyone you know and love in the games? Who really died? Who had kids with whom? What does a baby volus sound like? What about all the galaxies? The endings! What the heck is going on with our asari scientist-turned-Shadowbroker? What about S— nevermind...you get the idea. And of course, to those questions, there are answers"

I still cannot believe this is a real quote. No, I don't want to know who "really" died and who "really had kids with whom" and what ending is "really canon." What the hell is the point of an RPG if you're just going to tell me what did or did not happen? What is Mike Gamble on?

[dragonflight203]

Mass Effect 2 replay, Lair of the Shadow Broker:

-Normally I’d play this later, but I want to do Miranda’s loyalty mission and I don’t want her to have slam. This unlocks the ability to reassign squad points.

I’m on insanity, every enemy has protection. Warp and overload only.

-Nassana dying has increased the stock price of her company. Everyone figures it will be more stable now.

Damn. You know the CEO is shitty when their dying is good for the company.

-Liara has no chill. If she’s in, she’s all in.

Shepard’s dead? Unacceptable. Time to find someone that can perform necromancy.

Feron’s dead/captured? Unacceptable. Time for revenge/rescue.

Everything else? Sidelined.

-Earlier on, Liara refused to speak plainly in her office because she assumed someone would listen in.

As soon as she sees a photo of Feron, she’s spilling all her past and future plans.

Not sure if her earlier evasiveness was because she didn’t want to speak to Shepard, or if learning Feron’s alive threw her off her game.

To be fair, the Shadown Broker immediately puts a hit out on her after this, so her paranoia was correct.

-Liara’s apartment is huge. I assume Nos Astra has prices similar to New York, so that must cost a pretty penny.

Again, how the hell is she this successful of an information broker after less than two years?

-Shepard should have asked Tela Vasir why she was there.

Why would a spectre be investigating Liara’s death? How did she get on the scene so quickly?

A bit of curiosity or suspicion on Shepard’s part would have saved a lot of trouble.

-To repeat myself, ME2 was a boon for the asari. Tela Vasir genuinely comes across as powerful and dangerous. She doesn’t even have the same feel of trying too hard that Aria does.

-Why does Liara have paper scattered around her apartment?

This is the far future. If it needs to be secure, use a datapad that had its wifi chip removed.

-There is a ton of autodialogue through this mission.

Similar to how Bring Down the Sky had autodialogue more typical of ME2 than ME1, Lair of the Shadown Broker has autodialogue more typical of ME3 than ME2.

-In the Dracon Trade Center, the Security Office is empty. Because of the explosion? Or were they agents of the Shadow Broker and bailed beforehand?

-In the far future, there are still cubicle farms. That’s just sad. Let the office workers telework.

-Why is there a Salarian Embassy in a trade center?

I could almost excuse a Volus Embassy since they’re the setting’s merchant race, but a Salarian Embassy? Did they get lost?

-Tela Vasir shoots the Shadow Broker agent so she can lie to Shepard. Cold.

-She also sounds very fake when Shepard meets her, particularly when asking if Shepard had found Liara’s body.

-Her eyeroll when Liara recounts her actions is gold. Love her.

-In universe, it’s ridiculous that you can’t take both of your companions when you and Liara chase after Tela Vasir. That car can seat at least four.

Also, what does the other companion do? Just chill at the trade center and go shopping on the floors that weren’t blown up? C’mon, I’m sure Kasumi could “borrow��� one of the other cars and follow me.

I suspect that what “really” occurs is Shepard went to Liara’s apartment alone, and the game only lets you take companions to make the combat easier.

-In the Azure hotel, the asari in the room with the human where the movie plays is labeled “dancer”.

Uh-huh. Sure, Bioware. If it makes the censors happy.

-As Tela Vasir points out, Shepard is quite the hypocrite. Shepard working with Cerberus for the “greater good” isn’t an improvement over Tela Vasir working for the Shadow Broker.

When you meet them in ME2, the Council explicitly refers to Cerberus as “an avowed enemy of the Council”. As Tevos notes, Shepard is borderline committing treason by associating with them at all.

And while Shepard may not be doing Cerberus’s dirty work for them, they are enabling Cerberus. Everything they learn on their missions is passed back to them. The notes at the end of each mission detail how TIM plans to use the knowledge he acquired from it. And all that salvage you get paid for finding on missions? To Cerberus for research.

On top of that Shepard is certainly helping Cerberus’s PR – the hero of the Citadel is working for Cerberus! They can’t be that bad. Be like your hero and join Cerberus.

How many of the Cerberus agents that Shepard kills in ME3 joined Cerberus because they heard Shepard was with them?

-Shepard: Spectres don’t blow up buildings full of innocent people.

Shepard in Arrival: Destroys a solar system to stop a greater evil.

You can play Arrival before Lair of the Shadow Broker. I take it a colony is less important than a building?

-Also, Shepard is going after the Shadow Broker for personal reasons. They’re not doing this to protect the galaxy or on behalf of the Council. They’re doing this as a favor for a friend, and causing quite a bit of collateral damage.

The Shadow Broker is a major political player. Did it occur to Shepard the Council might want to know before they potentially make a major change to the political scene?

-To be clear: I don’t agree with Tela Vasir’s actions. I just don’t think Shepard makes good arguments when debating her.

-Tela Vasir references that Cerberus killed Shepard’s unit on Akuze. One of the few rare references to Shepard’s background in ME2.

-After taking out Lair of the Shadow Broker, Shepard attempts to have a heart to heart with Liara about her changes from ME1 to ME2.

It’s good to see this explicitly acknowledged and discussed, but it really should have been in the base game.

Still, it boils down to what can be pieced together from the base game – Liara has survivor’s guilt and is not handling it well.

-I know Lair of the Shadow Broker is a fan favorite, but I don’t enjoy it. It feels too much like a long corridor of shooting.

The Shadow Broker’s ship is the worst of it. Just endless fights in repeated environments, than a boss battle.

-This playthrough is particularly frustrating. No ammo is dropping. I’m using a shotgun, I need frequent ammo refills!

-It’s very clear that in “reality”, it’s just Liara and Shepard on the ship. The game literally knocks out your other companion so they can take out the Shadow Broker together.

-At least the fight with the Shadow Broker isn’t very hard. The battles leading up to it were more challenging.

The cutscene of Liara bringing down the ceiling is very impressive.

-While I’m skeptical of Liara becoming an expert information broker in two years, the scene of her becoming the Shadow Broker is well done.

-It’s clear Liara is still crushing on Shepard, even if Shepard doesn’t reciprocate.

Feron and the other companion leaving the room so they can be alone just hammers it home.

-It’s interesting how making Liara the Shadow Broker sets her up to be a supporting NPC in ME3, maybe a main quest giver.

However, ME3 turns around and makes a squad member again anyway.

It’s like ME3 was determined to use absolutely nothing that ME2 gave it, even in the DLC.

Shadow Broker Base

-According to Miranda’s dossier, the Shadow Broker planned to assassinate TIM and destroy Cerberus.

Wish he had done so. Would have spared everyone a lot of problems.

-Why can’t Miranda have a child? Unintentional side effect of her genetic engineering or intentional?

I’m leaning towards intentional. One more way for her father to control her, and prevent undesirable complications.

-Jack’s life continues to be one giant tragedy. Cerberus is such a wholesome organization that it’s stolen numerous babies for experiments.

-Jack’s quite the poet. Still sad, though – she compares herself to the dangers of nuclear energy.

This is not a place of honor.

No esteemed dead are buried here.

-Garrus listening to music during firefights makes me shake my head. That cannot possibly be a good thing. Surely it’s better to hear what’s going on?

-Of course the turian imperial anthem is “Die for the Cause”.

Ah, turians. My favorite empire.

-Samara’s dossier is so damn sad in a different way.

Her feelings of personal obligation to hunt down Morinth are understandable, but should that be done at the price of essentially abandoning her two other children?

I honestly don’t know. I’m leaning towards not – did she have to become a justicar to hunt down Morinth? - but I can understand why she felt the need to do so.

I hope I’m never in such a situation.

-“Ardat-Yakshi” remind me of the dark triad often assoicated with serial killers. It’s a trait that strongly suggests the person will be a serial killer, but it doesn’t necessarily mean they will be.

The asari handle it by banishing them to monasteries, and strongly discouraging more from being born. (by stigmatizing pureblood asari). ME3 adds that some are permitted to rejoin society if they’re deemed trustworthy.

If humanity ever finds the gene – or, more likely I suspect – combination of genes that result in sociopaths, will we make the same choice? Isolate them for the “good” of society, only let a rare few participate in mainstream society, use eugenics to prevent more from being born?

It only takes a passing knowledge of serial killers to understand why would be done. But would it be right?

Not all sociopaths become serial killers. Some live normal lives. The potential for harm is high, yes, but should the innocent be imprisoned just because they may be dangerous?

I’m obviously leaning towards no, and this parallel isn’t a great one because ardat-yakshi do kill every partner they have by definition. I do think it raises interesting questions that may need to be answered within our lifetimes, however.

-Thane is medically advised to stay active to stimulate lung movement.

Good to know Thane is medically cleared for a suicide mission.

-Bailey’s dossier notes there’s a lot of potential blackmail on him. How is being a corrupt cop working out for you, buddy?

Also, Bailey is promoted to commander in ME3. It’s just wonderful that a man that can easily be blackmailed is rising through the ranks.

-I love that Aria takes planning the Afterlife events so seriously. She’s a crime boss AND a club owner. The club is not just a cover.

-Hmm. The Alliance Navy believes that Shepard wasn’t dead for the last two years, and wants to know what he was up.

Reasonable. I do have questions about why they felt this would take several months.

Hackett, however, is just happy to have his errand boy back and tells the Navy to fuck off.

-The yahg remind me of turians. Both pack species, and the strongest commands the pack.

The key difference seems to be that turians expand “pack” to include other species. The yahg assume other species to be subservient.

I’m curious about the first contact team to the yahg – what species made it up? What went down? If another team made contact and could take out a yahg alpha, would the yahg accept them as their leader?

-The conversation with Feron has a ton of autodialogue.

I’m getting the strong vibe that Bioware has a particular story they want to tell, and don’t want players going off the rail.

-That said, Feron should have joined Liara on the Normandy. I would have like having him around.

They could have claimed he was still recovering from his injuries, or was permanently damaged and could no longer be a field agent.

-All the foreshadowing for ME3 was in the DLC.

Liara says the Shadow Broker was researching Protheans – he thought they may have other plans besides the warning they sent out and the conduit.

This is a clear reference to the Crucible.

[tealenko]

One does not simply do the main quest first lol

Soooo... I got this thing where I cannot do the main mission before doing EVERYTHING ELSE before it... And it's super funny to do it in ME1.

I did all the companions quests before going to Feros or Noveria, amazing.

And right now just got the "it's been an honor to be a part of this crew" conversation with Tali... And Benezia is still alive XDDDDDD

Ayyyy...

The romance options are hilarious too.

Kaidan telling me: yeah, we're almost there, the coucil trust us, and when this is over we're gonna fuck *sexy Canadian giggle*

My Shep: HELL YEAH!!!

Meanwhile, me: Ey kids, I've only done the mission to recluit Liara and Feros... Chill a little ehehehehehehehehe

[babygirlgarrus7]

Foundings

Warnings: swearing, politics, fluff, angst (naturally)

Next Chapter

Masterlist

Rewrite the Stars

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

POV GARRUS

Garrus laid on the luxury soft bed looking up at the galaxy, watching the stars and blackness of where they laid. It was quiet beside the humming of the Normandy or the bubbles of the fish tank. If he wasn’t down in the Crew Member area or lounge with the others, he was here. In Shepard’s quarters. Laying in the bed that they both shared about 6 months ago.

He could still smell her lavender scent on the pillow just the place not warm but ice cold. His mandibles twitched from the sudden sunken feeling he kept getting. Garrus only had felt this feeling maybe 2 or 3 times. The first one was when him and his family found out about his mother sickness, how she wouldn’t be able to pull through it. Second the realization of knowing his teammates were being massacred by the Omega thugs. The last one…well…Shepard.

Garrus’s dreams is haunted by how he had to let go of Shepard, when she barreled head first toward the Citdal. Without him. “There is no Shepard without Vakarian.” Her haunting voice would echo. To his guilt he felt like he failed her, letting her go alone. Maybe if he was there, she could have walked out alive. Be alive. Be her…

Tap. Tap. Tap.

He didn’t flinch, didn’t move, hells he didn’t want to speak. Garrus wanted to be left alone, alone in his thoughts. “Garrus?” Spirits…Liara.

He let out a long sigh before sitting up and walking to the door. “Come in.” He said softly before sitting is the desk chair Shepard would sit in. Could be in.

The fresh dexto noodles hit his nostrils. Garrus didn’t even realize he was hungry until the growl that burst through the room. He usually would be embarrassed but instead he looked up at Liara. She smiled softly at him. “I figured that you were hungry, it’s been almost 10 hours since you haven’t come down.”

“I guess I lost track of time.” Garrus lied and he knows that Liara knew that he lied. She set the tray on the desk.

After a quiet couple of moments and him not even glancing at the food just at the tank, Liara spoke. “Tali was going to come up here and give a whole speech for you,” He snapped his head over to her after she let out a chuckle then Liara sighed. “We all miss her you know?”

Garrus knew that, he wasn’t blinded by the fact that Tali the first couple of weeks would drink and drink until she would sleep on the couch. Liara isolating. Joker has been not so talkative, since Garrus isn’t the only one who lost their companion. James would spar with anyone who was willing. Steve would try to be the pulling center to have everyone come to peace. Even Javik was upset in his own Prothean way.

It wasn’t until last week where everyone was coping with the fact that their Commander isn’t here. Not Garrus, when playing cards he missed the laughter coming from next to him when James and Steve would bicker. Or when standing around talking missed the vocals he heard when she talked. It wasn’t the same.

When Garrus didn’t answer and looked at the fishes Liara leveled with him. Her eyes looking at his. “She is alive,” Garrus whispered. “She has to be. Yet,” He paused watching as Liara stood up and sat against the wall next to the bathroom. “I don’t know if I believe that anymore.”

Liara sighed and nodded her head, thinking. “Have you read the Externet?”

“Yeah I haven’t seen anything.” He admitted. Garrus would be on there for hours refreshing over and over again until the next headline. Read it. Move on.

“I haven’t found anything yet, my agents haven’t responded still. Everyone is across the galaxy, I’m hoping that eventually we will hear that they found her, alive.” She murmured.

Garrus tapped one of his talons against the desk. The same sunk feeling. When Garrus didn’t put her name on the wall of the fallen, Liara immediately searched for days. Tali was and has been hopeful as well, really everyone has. Hope is a dangerous game to play, you can be successful in winning it or fail miserably.

Liara chuckled for a moment and Garrus looked down at her. Raising his face plates. “Do you remember when Shepard actually flipped the Mako.”

Garrus smiled he remembered how Shepard was pissed as they got out. It was on a grass type planet, monkeys took an important part from a Alliance drone. Instead of hitting one she swerved and flipped completely. Shepard was yelling at the monkey while it stared at her blankly walking away then called Joker to pick them up.

“How could I forget? Her yelling at the monkey,” He chuckled, actually chuckled. Which hasn’t happened since before landing on Earth to defeat the Reapers. Liara smiled and shook her head. “Joker was confused on why 20 minutes later he had a pick up.”

“She did not hear the end of it for months after.” Liara said laughing.

They both fell quiet before Liara inhaled, she was about to speak until the room was interrupted by a voice ringing through the room. “Hey, we are about 3 hours from Earth I would suggest to get freshened up for the new council.” Joker announced, his voice sounding a bit normal.

Liara and Garrus looked at each other then up. “New council?” Garrus asked.

“Yeah, Steve got the comms to work and Hatchet patched through. Sounds like the old council got killed as well.” Joker said. “So get showering, no one wants the smell of road kill bud.”

“Yeah yeah,” Garrus said waving his hands in the air like Joker was here. Joker just chuckled before it went silent again. Garrus looked down and sighed. “The galaxy has to keep moving.”

Liara sighed as Garrus helped her up from her sitting position. “Unfortunately that is how it goes doesn’t it?” Garrus nodded and watch her walk out. “Best suit Garrus.” She called out as the door closed behind her.

He froze for a moment before shaking himself awake. Garrus walked into the shower and turned it on. He inhaled deeply letting his talons hit the water. Warm. How she would like it, usually he would like it a bit warmer but she told him it’s healthier for her hair to have it in the middle. (Even though he looked it up and its freezing cold water.)

Garrus walked out and walked to a corner of the closet where he had certain armor and clothing in the corner. “You can bring things up here so you can be comfortable. Or if we are cuddling. Or when we…” She coughed when he slapped her ass.

He chuckled. “Miss me that much Shepard?” The tease, the start of a back and forth tease.

She snapped her head over, those beautiful green and brown eyes. Hazel. It reminded him of planets that had green sceneries with mountains. “Eh, no you just keep me company Vakarian.” How her vocals become silky when she teases.

“You always will have my company, my dear.” He said with more of a growl in the end. He didn’t mean to but damn Shepard made him feel ways that he never knew he could. Garrus walked over to her wrapping his arms around her. She exhaled deeply leaning into his touch, Putting her arms against his, while watching her fish.

“I think we need to shower.” She blurted out. He huffed letting go of her to pull her to face him.

“How long can we be?” He asked leaning down to kiss her neck.

Garrus opened his eyes as the water trickled down his body, the echo of her laughter in the back of his mind. He inhaled deeply as he started to finish up washing the rest of his soap off. Going back to Earth was hard for him to face, the last time he went was the last time he saw Shepard. He just hoped that it will be just a quick meeting and that would be that.

He got into his favorite suit, the one he wore back when Shepard and him went on their date on the SilverStrip. Spirits…What a night, the way the lights of the bar illuminated their bodies as they danced. They way her leg was latched on to his hip. Damn it how it made her smile.

Those hours went by quickly as he stood behind Joker as they watched Earth come into view. There was still ships that were blown up to bits, different kinds of course. Quarian, Turian, Asari, Salarian, Krogan, Geth hell even Batarian ships. Shepard did all this, had racies come together to defeat the almighty Reapers. Other ships floating around cleaning the debris.

“By the Godess.” Liara whispered as they passed a Reaper that the Alliance and Salarian ships, were taking apart.

Joker sighed then pointed. “Look at the Geth. They seem…lifeless…”

Garrus watched as their ships just floated around. Different ships gathering around them taking Geth out. “Seems like they are.” He said as they went into the atmosphere of Earth.

When the headquarters of the Alliance came into view, the destruction and smoke that surrounded the area. It was cleaning up well, just as anyone would want or hope for. Many species helping out lifting the larger things, carrying wounded. Them still finding bodies alive or not have him but more hope to finding Shepard.

“This is Alliance base, Normandy is that you?” The voice rang in front of Joker. The man sounded astonished, excited, thrilled?

“This is the SSV Normandy, we need clearance to land.” Joker asked looking at the landing area. Destroyed and non destroyed ships on the ground.

“You are cleared. Hacket is already waiting for you all. Welcome home Normandy.”

Home. Garrus thought as he turned away and headed towards the others that circled around the map. “We are landing.” Garrus announced as James looked up.

“Ah hell yeah! Can’t wait to actually feel the ground.” He cheered as they walked towards the door.

Garrus looked at the map and were the platform that overlooked everyone. He wish Shepard could see how this all ended, how we won. Actually won. He had his doubts of course, it didn’t look well for a while. Now…Now they are alive. “Garrus?” Tali asked putting her hand on his shoulder.

“I’m coming.” He answered walking side by side with her, the door was already open and the sunlight came peering through.

When Garrus walked out he saw swarm of people applauding, whistling, screaming. Soldiers mostly, from different backgrounds, colors, species. His mandibles twitched, they were being celebrated? Joker was waving as he wobbled down, Liara gave a slight wave and smile, Tali did the same, James was giving high fives, Javik trying his best not to make eye contact, Kaiden doing the same but slightly waving, and Garrus he tried not to pay too much attention but waved anyways.

Hatchet smiled as they approached. “Look alive and well Normandy,” He said looking around at them. “Been eager to see you all in person.” He frowned. “Sorry that the Commander isn’t here to see this.”

He had to expect her name to be dropped every now and then but it still brought that sunk feeling. “As are we.” Liara spoke as the all walked towards the building.

Once walking through the building there were others lined up against the wall with more clapping and cheering. Garrus was…well overwhelmed. There were many thank yous and cheers however, he felt like he was the last person to thank. The person that should be is…

“Oh,” Tali said as they came up with a statue of Shepard. “That’s…uh.”

Hackett looked over to where the statue stood. In the middle of the large room that had sections of hallways. The broken glass windows above to make the room more comfortable or bright naturally. “Uh yes,” He sounded unsure when looking at it. “The council suggested it, the human one.” He whispered while continued.

Garrus looked at it for a while, it was remarkably detailed, even got the small scar on her upper lip. “Garrus,” Tali asked standing next to him. “I think Shepard would blow that up.”

“I would have her a grenade too.” Joker mumbled following the rest of the group.

Garrus chuckled. “Yeah she would, probably yell at the council while doing it.”

Tali laughed a bit. “Let’s hope it’s gone before she sees it.”

Garrus felt his mandibles twitch once again. If she sees it, if she is alive. He walked with Tali as they were walking through the hallway, with no clapping. Just business, people running to and fro to their destination. Hackett walked through the car door that opened with walls that were not as destroyed. The alien council stood at the end. The Turian was a hologram and no other than Primarch Victus. So was the Salarian. The other three he did not recognize. Human, Salarian, and Asari.

“Ah they are here,” The Asari said as she walked towards them. “Pleasure to finally meet you.” She extended her hand to Garrus who shook her hand.

The human nodded his head before looking at the others. “Shall we begin?”

Victus nodded his head and the Salarian as well. “Normandy, I am very happy to see you all well,” Victus said as he itched the side of his mandible. “Wish I was there in person to hand out the medals we have.”

The Asari nodded her head as she stood next to the others. “Unfortunately that is not what is brought here today, tomorrow will be the celebration.”

“Celebration?” Kaiden asked as he looked over at them.

“Well of course. You are the heros at the end of it all.” The Salarian said as he waved his arm to them.

“We are here to greet you and ask for report of your travels is all and our…” The Asari stopped before frowning. “Condolences to loosing your Commander.”

“One of our best Spectres,” The human said putting his hands behind his back. “We will be celebrating her as well, tomorrow.”

Garrus looked over at Tali who looked at him. She glared at him and shook her head slightly. She knew just as well as him is that no one needed that right now. We need to know if she found or find her. “Are you not looking for her still?” Garrus asked looking at Victus.

Victus looked over at the Asari before looking up again. “We…We have been searching for her since the war ended. However, we haven’t found any sort of information about her being alive or dead.”

“We might cut the funding of finding her,” Garrus snapped his head over the the Salarian. “It is getting quiet expensive, which we can not afford at the moment.”

“Afford,” The word echoed through the room behind them. Garrus turned, it was a lady, in Alliance Admiral uniform. Her hair was slicked back into a bun and she had fair white skin. She looked just like Shepard but older with more white in her hair. “Please Jarro like anyone is going to be paying for what the Reapers left behind.”

“Admiral Shepard, we didn’t expect you to be in this meeting.” The Asari said with a smirk on her face.

The Admiral walked passed the crew and stood in front. “I never do plan on attending these meetings but since my daughter’s crew is standing here. I wanted to meet them,” She turned to them and smiled. “Which I am thrilled they are alive and standing.”

“Admiral this meeting was strictly for them, you have no…” Jarro started to say before she snapped her head over.

“Jarro I don’t have time for this the search for people including my daughter the one you plaster all over the galaxy is still being searched for. We have an Asari company giving those funds on top of Turian. The Korgan clan leader Wrex graciously did as well.” She handed a holopad to the human councilor. He looked down at the pad and nodded to the Asari who took it as well.

Jarro crossed his arms. “It’s been 8 months Admiral Shepard. She could be dead by now.”

“Could be. It has already been approved on the human council,” She inhaled deeply. “Which if I may is not your jurisdiction anyways. This was more as an informant for the Loula and Victus.”

Garrus smirked a bit, now he knows where his Shepard gets the spice. He always admired how Mila would shake the room around her with just words. Would put anyone in their spot who needs to be. He turned to see Hackett pinching the bridge of his nose. It was silent for a moment before a sigh left the salarian’s lips.

“Alright, we will continue this search of yours however…”

“Counselors,” Another voice came from behind it was a short man holding a pad. “You all might want to see this.”

When they granted that he could videos popped up on screens, it was a news coverage, it looked familiar to Garrus. His eyes widened as they all watched a group of men and women gathering in one spot. “This is Clove Beckom coming at you live from London. This was the last location of the sighting of Shepard, no one has found her until now.”

Admiral Shepard shifted seemed like she froze then she snapped her head over at the Counselors. “What is this? Is this true?” Her voice cracked as she snapped her head back at the solider who just stood there and nodded once.

The solider nodded his head. “I just received this message about 10 minutes ago.”

The Admiral’s omitool went off, all eyes on her. Her hand shook as she clicked it. “Admiral,” Garrus held his breath for the next line. “We found Commander Shepard. Ma’am. She is alive.”

“By the goddess.” Liara whispered. The crew was just as shocked didn’t know what to say or do. How could they? This whole time they believed she died went down and killed the Reapers.

Not Garrus, he knew she had to be but Garrus couldn’t believe it still. He is here and now she is alive.

[choccy-zefirka]

N7 Day is approaching, so I thought I'd entertain y'all! Since I have only played Andromeda, I wanna share my concepts of the trilogy characters as perceived through my fandom interactions. Please note that these are an outsider's observations, not an attack/misinterpretation of any character.

Garrus. He is Shep's BFF, despite Turians and humans having recently been at war. Possibly related to Kandros from ME:A? Ex-cop. Has a mental breakdown at one point, but Shep helps him. A running gag in his romance is that he has no idea how human anatomy works. Loves old-timey cheesy romcoms. His mannerisms remind people of parakeets.

Kaidan. Voiced by Jiminy Cricket from One Upon A Time. Ukrainian-Canadian. Has chronic pain from his biotic powers. Talks a lot about his feelings, which people either love or hate, no in-between. There is a feud between his fans and Garrus fans, a la Anders vs Fenris.

Ashley. There's an option to leave either her or Kaidan to die in an explosion. People get heated about that (pun intended). She doesn't trust the alien companions, at least initially, which makes her unpopular. I think she was genetically engineered by her dad, who wanted a perfect daughter? And her butt is often the center of dialog shots.

Jack. Also genetically engineered, or possibly a cyborg/android that rebelled? Is she covered in tattoos or electronic circuits or both? She is very angry and traumatized but good with kids. She can only romance m!Shep but has more chemistry with female characters.

Tali. Big nerd. Was supposed to be a romance for f!Shep but her VA is rumored to be biphobic. Her face is a mystery, and there are a lot of fan designs for it. If she takes off her space suit, she will die, but somehow there is a sex scene with her? Her people have been displaced and are looking for a planet to call home. People often depict her drinking/drunk.

Liara. Also a big nerd. A plot-important romance like Morrigan or Solas. She looks wholesome, but is actually someone called the Shadow Broker, which I assume is less wholesome. As an Asari, she's still alive at times of ME:A, and I remember hearing her voice clips! She has a baby with Shep regardless of the latter's gender.

Legion. One of the robots that were created by Tali’s people and then rebelled. Possibly broke away from the robot hivemind? Wants to have a soul; Cole references that in DAI by saying, “It always had a soul, the question is the answer”.

Zayeed. I know him because a friend drew him and people attacked them for making him too sexy, while the drawing was pretty accurate. His son is in ME:A. He is old and has seen shit. Says "Goddamn" a lot.

Thane. Designed as a treat for female fans. Has a dark past/Byronic hero vibes and speaks poetically. Shep is his One True Love, and he says he will meet her in the afterlife, which is awkward because his widow is already there. Has a son who hates him and/or his relationship w/Shep.

Samara. Older Asari lady who is a master of martial arts despite fighting in a (vacuum-sealed?) Elvira-style outfit. I think she is Liara's mom and Liara is often embarrassed by her.

Mordin. Local mad scientist. I think he is the one who invented the Genophage that the Krogans are still reeling from in ME:A. He sings a song that belongs in the Muppet Show. Asshole, but redeems himself through death.

Javik. DLC character. A lot like Solas: woke up from a millennia-long nap to find his people gone and the world inhabited by weird yunguns. Calls everyone primitive. Either threatens others, or is threatened, with being yeeted out the airlock. Shep can have a drunken one-night stand with him. Redeems himself through death.

Taylor (?). A f/f love interest who has shower sex with Shep?

Kasumi. I know her from a joke that she lives in the vents! I think she is a master thief.

Hackett. The main quest-giver and also semi-parental figure for Shep. People are as annoyed by him as by the Requisitions Officer in DAI.

Illusive Man. The main villain. I think he's like that guy from X-Files, in that he's smoking all the time and in league with evil aliens.

There's also a guy named Steve??? Who can romance Shep but cheats and gets someone pregnant in-between games. He may also have the hots for the ship's AI, which is designed like a sexy robot lady.

And there are at least two Krogans, both from Clan Urdnot! I don't know much about them, but I think that the younger one is still a teen and imprints, child-like, on Shep, who may have helped him hatch!

[june-girl-86]

Chapter 37

Finally they reach Gelgelar. The silver lining is giving them trouble and they hope it can be repaired. And then they actually find the one who can help them find Din's family. They learn quite a bit about the Jedi, the Force, and how everyone interprets it differently. Din has to try out the Force without being skilled at it. Will it work?

We are now on Gelgelar. On Wookiepedia there is information about the planet and the respective persons. I borrowed a few and wrote them suitable for me.

The chapter has become a little long, so it will be two parts.

The lyrics are from Anastacia from Time

Pairing: Din Djarin x OC Female!

ReaderRating: Mature/Explicit (+18)

Warnings: Canon-Typical Violence / Love / Action&Adventure / Blood&Violence / Drama & Romance / Slow Burn / Fluff&Smut

Several loud alarm tones blared in the cockpit and the instrument gauges flashed persistently. Liara looked down into the cargo hold, where Din was kneeling in front of the open hatch, examining the wiring harnesses. There was no discernible source of failure there, according to the data. While Liara heard Din's annoyed "Dank Farrik," the silver lining jerked so hard that she was pressed against the wall and had to hold on to keep from falling down the opening. Another jerk and they suddenly jumped out of hyperspace. Liara rushed to the controls in case she needed to intervene, but she could already hear Din climbing the ladder to the cockpit.

"I'd say the lights have gotten even redder by now!", Liara informed him. Din sighed and took a seat in the pilot's chair. He deactivated one of the thrusters at a time, and after the restart, at least the alarms stopped. He rubbed his forehead thoughtfully.

"I'm afraid I can't find the problem. But we'd rather lose half a day than the entire engine!"

Liara nodded and took a look out the window. Deep blackness, only isolated small glittering dots could be made out in the distance. Somewhere there lay Gelgelar. Din grumbled, he wasn't just pissed about this problem. The message they had received from Boba made them both angry and sad. In Din it worked, as she knew him, he would like to turn back and look for the murderer of Ezer with Boba. But the fact that two former companions had been found alive had also triggered something in Din. She had noticed his fitful sleep and the bags under his eyes. At least the doctors on Nevarro had taken good care of Cara and she had woken up from her unconsciousness. Unfortunately, she didn't want to talk to anyone. Karga had also sent them a message about this, suggesting that Cara had suffered more than just external wounds from her torture.

While Din concentrated on steering the silver lining, his thoughts still wandered, remembering that he had been on Gelgelar once before. After Liara had told him where Dar was sending her, it had come back to him. He had not long joined Ran when they received an order. They were to get Shvash gas, which was plentiful and mined on the planets. It had actually worked brilliantly, the containers had not been secured at all at the time. Presumably it would not work so easily now, they had certainly learned from the theft. He wondered if he had found his clan, but there had been no signs of Mandalorians and he hadn't really looked around for that reason. A beep snapped him out of his thoughts and he noticed the information on the navigation panel. They had almost reached their destination.

Liara listened in amazement to the strange sounds Din made. He had never said that he could speak Sullustan. It sounded a bit bumpy and he seemed to swallow words every now and then, but the Sullustan on the other end of the line seemed to be satisfied with it and to understand everything. No one was allowed to enter Gelgelar without registration, otherwise there was a danger of being shot down, or of being blown off course by the strong winds and bad weather. The Sullustan guided Din through the dark, almost pitch-black towering clouds, the currents therein causing the silver lining to wobble, and Liara noticed how tense Din clutched the control stick. She clawed nervously at the padding of the armrests as it began to vibrate more violently and closed her eyes. She was somewhat reassured by the recurring voice of the Sullustan, as she hoped he would surely mean them no harm and let them fly to their doom. She exhaled in relief when it stopped again after a few minutes and they left the cloud, or had there been several. But then the alarm went off again.

"Dank Farrik!" cursed Din, and immediately resumed babbling in Sullustan.

"What's wrong?" asked Liara anxiously, eyeing the red warning lights reflected in Din's beskar. Din waited for the answer from the radio, then glanced briefly over his shoulder.

"He gives me a place in the spaceport, which is right next to the workshop. He receives the data and also sees that the silver lining has problems!"

Liara nodded. The statement only half reassured her, she hoped the silver lining would hold out until then and they wouldn't crash before then. She stretched in her seat to get a better look out the windows. Tens of raindrops pattered on it and ran down it. She couldn't see much of the surroundings except for the woods. In the middle of it in the open spaces were large tanks and Liara wondered what was stored there. They flew over several settlements, lanterns illuminating the small paths and metallic dwellings. It took a while longer, then the spaceport appeared in front of them. Light poles made this place seem almost daylight, among all the oppressive darkness.

"Don't forget that due to the thin atmosphere there is no optimal oxygen quality. The bad weather and the dense clouds, do not let pass since some days the Shvash gas, which escapes during the extraction in the fields. Therefore, when leaving the spaceport, they immediately put on the breathing mask, usually you can move without it for a few minutes. It is not dangerous for small children. If you don't have a breathing mask with you, Outfitters, Qulo's store, has 5 for the price of 2 today only. Hit them up, you can never have enough in stock! In the city there are information boards about the current oxygen level. Have a nice stay!"

The Sullustan said goodbye on Basic and ended the connection. A green flashing arrow on the landing pad directed Din to his parking spot. The silver lining jerked, then touched down softly anyway. Din expelled the held air with relief and shut down the thrusters.

"Well flown, Captain!", Liara smiled at him and squeezed the free part of his arm between the armor.

"It's been a long time since I needed Sullustan. Last time Ran helped me communicate!"

Liara who was leaving the cockpit and already standing on the ladder looked at him in surprise.

"You've been here before?"

Din nodded.

"Quite a long time ago, when I had newly joined Ran. Not much will have changed here in this bog hole!"

"What were you doing here?"

Din pursed his lips.

"Running errands without paying..."

Liara waved it off, preferring not to be so specific after all. Din followed her down and pulled a box out of one of the storage rooms. He waited until she had put on her coat, then handed her the equipment with the breathing mask.

Din could do without a mask; he was protected by his filter in his helmet. Voices could already be heard coming in from outside and he lowered the ramp.

When they left the silver lining, they were greeted by cold air mixed with the exhaust fumes of a starhopper that was just taking off. They saw a few lambda shuttles and freighters standing, the latter being unloaded and loaded. A few Twi'leks and Quarren were working in the field alongside humans and Sullustans. Several Jawas had loaded a mountain of scrap parts onto a cargo speeder and were pointing to a transport ship. Liara grinned. The little guys were all over the place, though. A Sullustan woman, her work clothes covered with oil stains, approached them and looked delighted.

"An old wookie! A treasure like that hasn't landed here in a long time. Or Taku, do you remember visiting?"

A Le-Bo maintenance droid trotted up behind her, dragging a clattering repulsor cart behind it, with all the tools inside. The droid answered in the negative and stopped.

"But I remember you for this! Different armor, but still the same thief! Where did you leave the long-haired one?" the mechanic said, pointing at Din. He stiffened slightly and the Sullustan laughed.

"Are you always this easy to figure out Mandalorian?"

Liara looked nervously at the two, guessing that Din was scanning the spaceport to see if there was any danger. But it didn't seem like in the next moment, policemen would jump out from all corners. And the mechanic also openly extended her hand.

"This planet is full of smugglers and criminals. You didn't expect someone to arrest you for what you stole here ages ago, did you? Maybe the freighter captain is still crying because he couldn't sell the actual amount. And even if he did, he's one of the many cheats because they don't pay the farmers properly. But the idiots can be told that so many times. As long as there's no one there who wants to be a millionaire, I guess they're happy with this one!"

A rumbling sounded, a few parts of the Jawas had made themselves independent and had fallen from cargo speeder . Now the clamoring began and the Sullustan sighed in annoyance.

"Look at the Jawas. I can't imagine anyone just letting them have this stuff. There's probably a spaceship or a house falling apart somewhere! But all unimportant, let me introduce you. I'm Nofre Ecls, I own this place!"

Din stared open-mouthed at the small woman under his helmet, still slightly shocked. Liara rolled her eyes and held out her hand to Nofre with a grin. She found the stranger sympathetic, who could certainly get along with Peli. The question was, who would be more likely to speak at these meetings? The Sullastan giggled and slapped Din on the back with amusement. Likewise, Liara touched him on the shoulder and he relaxed slightly. He cleared his throat and watched as the mechanic looked at the silver lining.

"From the sounds of it, there's something wrong with the drive!"

Din nodded and Nofre smiled. She pointed to a freighter further back.

"You're lucky, we got another supply of spare parts today. Completely. Last time the freighter was attacked by space pirates! I'll take care of the good stuff!"

"Thank you!" said Din, finally regaining his speech. Nofre instructed Taku that he should connect the diagnostic device and read the fault memory.

"Yes boss!"

The droid plodded past them, Liara noticing that it was dragging one leg a bit. Nofre noticed her glance. She spoke behind her hand in their direction so the droid couldn't hear.

"He's our senior, I've had to mend him so many times. I couldn't bring myself to take him out!"

Din thought of Kuiil at this. Here he would have a great time restoring things. He sighed as he remembered the Ugnaught and its trust in IG-11.

Nofre eyed the two curiously.

"You don't look like criminals or smugglers now, your visit aside. What brings you here? The weather certainly doesn't, the sunniest hours won't come for a few weeks!"

"We're looking for my family. We got the hint that Dagli could help us!"

Nofre frowned.

"You mean the Clan Djarin that lived here for a few years?"

Din winced when he heard the name and stared at the Sullustan in surprise from under his helmet.

"You... you know the clan?"

Nofre nodded eagerly.

"Of course. They weren't here by the time you arrived, though. Dagli took them to their new home. Oh I miss that old girl!"

"You mean they're gone?" asked Din, his voice trembling slightly, and Nofre confirmed it. She wondered a little at his excitement.

"There was a bit of law and order here, everyone had respect for the Mandalorians. I think the old wise man can help you out!"

"Who?"

Nofre laughed. She was aware, so much information at once overwhelmed them both somewhat.

"He lives in the shrine of Kooroo, he is very wise and connected to power. And he entertains the tourists when a few daring ones get lost here!"

She glanced at her watch and held out her arms to give them a lift.

"It's time for lunch. I'm sure you're hungry, too. I'll take you to Thulls. He owns Eel, the inn. His predecessor cooked so terribly that there was often food poisoning. Somebody killed him when he tried to open Eel's. Who could blame him... But Thulls is a true artist, cooking really tasty things from the little we can harvest here ourselves!"

They left the spaceport and Liara put on her breathing mask after Nofre reminded her. She, too, was wearing one. That didn't stop the Sullustan from yakking on, though, and Liara was already wondering if Peli hadn't put on a costume and was possibly underneath.

They walked down the hill on which the spaceport was built, past the general store that sold the breathing masks, and they could now see the small town. It was only drizzling lightly, Nofre was happy about that too and apologized for it over the stench. A channel ran centrally over which plates were laid, but from the cracks the foul smell still made it out. And again and again garbage lay on the side, moldering away.

When they reached the first buildings, they immediately noticed that most of them consisted of the plates of protective covers of old spaceships and some looked quite crooked. Next to residential buildings were small stores for clothing, then a baker, whose fantastic mushroom bread Nofre raved about to them. The local mushroom, Vohis mold, grew in the swamps and was also exported in large quantities.

"You must definitely, before you leave again, get the bread powder to mix yourselves!", Nofre gave them the tip and then pointed to a colorfully illuminated sign. This indicated to them that they had reached the Eel. They were astonished, it consisted mainly of the wings of TIE starfighters.

A pleasant warmth that made them forget the fresh wind blowing outside the door greeted them as they entered. The theme of old parts continued inside as well. The lamps consisted of spotlights and interior lighting, tables from the wings of all classes of starships, the chairs and benches from a wide variety of starships. The size and colors didn't really match, but it was an unusual style. The inn was well attended, but everyone's conversations and a group of Twi'leks' card game, ended abruptly when a Lannik sitting alone at a table jumped up, his chair tipped over in the process, and pointed his blaster at Din. All pairs of eyes, including the one of the Twi'lek with the eye patch, were on her. There was a certain tension in the air. The background music suddenly sounded loud enough for the Ithorian behind the counter to let out a yell, which still sounded friendly to the species. In his hands he held a rifle, but aimed at the lannik. Din seemed less dangerous to him.

"You there, bounty hunter. You got a puck on anyone here?"

Din, who had now also drawn his blaster, shook his head.

"No, I'm just passing through!"

The Ithorian nodded and gave the Lannik a dirty look.

"Put the blaster down, or you won't need to show your face around here again!"

The Lannik hissed back, but put the weapon away and sat down again. Still, he kept glancing cautiously over at Din. Everyone else turned their attention back to things before they were interrupted.

Liara took off her mask and wiped the sweat from her brow. Nofre put a hand on her arm reassuringly.

"No one has died in here yet!"

She pointed to a sign on the wall.

Shootings outside please, the rain will wash away the blood!

Liara snorted, though she hadn't really felt like laughing just then. Nofre led her to the counter, where Thull greeted the newcomers and eyed them curiously.

"Has the old man been here yet?" asked Nofre. Thull replied in the negative.

"I guess he'll be back chatting with everyone. The older he gets, the later he gets here!"

Nofre laughed out.

"Then I would go ahead and order food for us. Thull what do you have delicious on offer today?"

"Reeho stew in Vohis mold sauce!"

Nofre nodded.

"Please three times then. I invite you!" she informed Din and Liara and the two followed her to an alcove where they could talk undisturbed.

Din took off his helmet, Thull brought them a big jug of water to drink and disappeared again. Liara looked around curiously. In a recess in the wall a fire was crackling in a fireplace, next to it was a music box, where a Quarren was critically examining the selection. After he could not decide, he let it stay and sat down back with his friends. From the kitchen, dishes could be heard clattering and the typical beeping sound of a droid.

Nofre explained to Din, who had asked about it, that the Reeho was a native, beautiful colorful bird. Its only enemy was the Glasaur, which resided in the swamp forests they had surely seen on their approach here. Whereas this relatively intelligent lizard had quickly found out that they got longer from Sullustans or humans than from such a bird. So the Reeho multiplied after the Glasaur ignored it, and in one year almost wiped out the entire mushroom harvest. Since then, it has been open for hunting.

"Not only does it taste exquisite. The feathers also have value and are exported. I heard they are used mostly for dream catchers!" ended Nofre's report, toasting the two with her glass. Liara returned it and while she drank, she glanced out the window that was behind Nofre. A few raindrops were thrown on the window pane, then she noticed how a Trandoshan stepped out of the house across the street and threw a large ball of cloth and plastic to the floor and tied it with a chain that was attached to the wall. He left again, but the bundle moved and she could make out a small hand. Liara almost choked.

"What?" she groaned, and Nofre turned curiously to see what was going on outside. Her shoulders shrugged at that as she spotted it.

"Oh he let her out again. We were beginning to think he sold them too!"

Nofre noticed the questioning looks as she turned back to the two.

"Boyk, he deals in weapons and his other Trandoshan friends like to riot when he gets it on them. Most of the time they just scare the visitors, they leave us alone. After all, it would be stupid to attack someone who could still be useful. However, his preference for human children makes one quite sick. There are two big settlements here in the swamps, one is mainly inhabited by human farmers, they have been here for a long time and when our kind settled here, the colony was just too full and another one was established. Whereas it has stagnated for a few years and only a few farmers want to earn their money here. Probably because the work on the Shvash gas fields is not without danger and there are not only injured people. If smaller bubbles go up, it's not bad, but in the last big catastrophe two years ago, we had countless fatalities. It was terrible. We only have one doctor here, but he couldn't really do anything. Well, Boyk took advantage of that. The farmers work together, but in the settlements everybody still wants to be for himself. And so nobody cared when Boyk took the children whose parents didn't survive. Five children he sold, the survivor as we call her he kept. She also became an attraction for the tourists who put their money. The child has none of it, he takes it from her. Now we haven't seen her for a few weeks and we thought maybe she was finally free in a way. Either she was sick or he needed her for other things. I don't even want to imagine!"

Chagrined, Nofre glanced out again at the wet street. The little hand had found a stone with which to slide along the wall. Liara was horrified and looked at Din, stunned. He could read him her eyes what she was thinking, but he shook his head. It was too dangerous to make trouble here and Liara knew that herself. She sighed and Din squeezed her hand.

Before they could talk about the subject further, their food was brought to them, which smelled exquisite and, as they then discovered, tasted just as good.

They had just finished eating when the door opened and an older man with a long gray beard, a red bead woven into the top of it, pulled down his breathing mask. His yellow hat added a bit of color to the drab surroundings and Nofre jumped up.

"We've been waiting for them!"

He looked first at the Sullustan, then curiously past her to see who we should be, and spotted Din. He jerked both arms up and waved his staff.

"How long do you Mandalorians actually take when you ask them to come to you?" he grumbled, and Din pointed at himself, perplexed. The old man nodded. Nofre offered him her seat and took her leave.

"I've got another ship to fix!" she said, winked at everyone and left. Meanwhile, old Thull called out that he wanted the dish of the day and shook himself.

"Now I've been here so long, but I still haven't gotten used to the weather!"

Then he leaned back, folded his arms and looked at Liara and Din.

"Well I am Glovan Thule. But no one has called me that in a long time, and I have to keep reminding myself. You can also call me wise old man!"

He winked at Liara and she smirked. Thull set his plate down for him and they watched him shovel the food into himself as if he hadn't had anything to eat in weeks. After he had finished, he waved to the Ithorian, who, without Thule saying anything at all, brought him a reddish liquid in a narrow glass. He drank it all at once and his eyes began to shine. The old man rubbed his belly and grinned.

"The most delicious liquor in the galaxy! I'll be happy to buy you a drink!"

They both declined with thanks, but Din cleared his throat and Thule looked at him.

"You're still wondering about my statement. So that brat of a Twi'lek didn't tell you anything?"

Din denied, guessing who the old man meant. Thule ran a hand through his beard and played thoughtfully with the red bead.

"Thought she might steal from me. Was at work in my quarters under the shrine. She made acquaintance with my wooden staff. Probably thought she could scare me with her knives. Then she threatened me that she was on the way with a Mandalorian and he would come and kill me. That's when I told her I'd actually like to meet him. So many Mandalorians haven't strayed here yet and I thought maybe it could be the one Lean had been looking for all these years. And that nose can't deny being a Djarin!"

Din clenched his fists, he was so angry at Xi'an. He probably would have found his family by now, but she had kept it from him. That time in Ran's group, he really thought at the time, they were comrades to be trusted. Well he knew now how wrong he had been. Liara noticed how this information worked in him. Her hand rested reassuringly on his knee as he bobbed his leg up and down.

"The Neti Dar has given us the clue that Dagli can tell us where the clan is!" she explained to Thule. He nodded.

"Yes Dagli was already here when I arrived on Gelgelar. She stayed in the shrine and kept in touch with the hidden worlds. Dagli helped the clan leave for one of the worlds and flew with them. They didn't tell me the coordinates, unfortunately!"

Din lowered his head in disappointment, so here was the end of the journey. He noticed a strange smile from the old man out of the corner of his eye.

"Don't give up yet. I'll help you!"

He said nothing more about it, however, but pulled out of his pocket a pipe and tobacco. He calmly stuffed it and then smoked his pipe with relish.

An hour later, the three of them left the Eel and headed for the shrine, because Thule Din now wanted to explain how he could find out where his family was. After a few minutes, they had reached the city limits and the paved road ended. The canal that ran along below it now meandered through shrubbery, into the marsh that was beginning. From here they could see the shrine that had been built on the hill. They followed the rocky path, which was slippery in places due to the wet weather. Plants had grown on the rock despite the adverse conditions. Liara noticed a tall shrub, whose flowers looked black with white stripes very interesting. She was tempted to smell it, but at that moment she remembered that it didn't work with the breathing mask. The old man took a few steps back to her.

"You wouldn't believe it, but the flowers are just for distraction!"

He pointed his staff at the base of the plant. There, in a clump, grew many bluish-looking fruits, their skin scaly.

"Our lizard fruit camouflages itself in green most of the time, just like the glarsaur. You can actually find it mostly in the swamp forests. Now that it's ripe, it gives away its pretty color. Go ahead and grab them, they taste delicious. Thull makes this delicious red liquor from them!"

Liara didn't hesitate for long, harvesting the fruit and putting it in her bag.

"Don't throw the peel away. Let it dry and if you have a cold you can use it as an infusion or tea!", Thule informed her. He brushed Liara's hand as he walked off and she felt a slight tingle. He looked at her piercingly.

"You are power-intensive!"

Liara nodded.

"My mother was a guardian, my father from Din's grandfather's clan! Both are sadly no longer alive!"

Liara pulled the small brown leather pouch from her pocket and showed him the contents. Thule clasped the pouch and her hand with his. He inhaled deeply, as if he was regaining life energy through the crystal. Then he smiled at Liara.

"Dagli will teach you well in everything!"

He pointed with his staff to a few huts below the slope. One already had its roof caved in.

"This is where the Clan Djarin lived. I think they were here for about three years. But they never really arrived here. Dagli then made them the proposal to travel to one of the Hidden Planets. She came from there and was homesick. Your grandfather and uncle had carried a lot of ballast and grief on their shoulders and in their hearts. I tried to help them a little. Your uncle in particular had been only a shadow after he had to leave without his daughter. Your grandfather then asked me, if you should come here one day, how he could tell you where they were without the wrong person getting hold of it. It took a little while, but I taught him how his spirit could leave his body."

Thule noticed from Din's posture and the way he tilted his helmet toward Liara that he could not interpret the statement correctly. The old man planned to talk about it in more detail with the two of them in the shrine.

The trail led them on, between tall grasses that swayed back and forth, purring in the wind. It almost sounded as if they were whispering things to each other. When the wall of grasses cleared, they had to climb a staircase carved into the rock that wound the last few feet up the slope and led to the shrine.

A weathered statue welcomed them, its head turned upward toward the sky. On the forecourt was a small basin set into a rock, it seemed almost like a bird bath. But on closer inspection, one could see the spring flowing down from the rock. Next to it there was the possibility to take a seat on a small bench. Thule went there, put his staff on it and dipped his hands into the basin. He asked Liara and Din to do the same.

"We all want to be at peace with ourselves when we deal with the Force!" he explained to the two. Then Thule took them to his quarters, which were in the lower part.

Whoever had once built this shrine had not cared how he lived underneath. The windows, rather small peepholes and the door crooked. For this, you could tell that those were concerned with presenting what was significant. The wide dome above, supported by four thick columns also formed of stone, was overgrown with lichen and moss. One could see the bronze-colored roof only in small places flashing out.

Underneath, however, was the actual shrine. Smaller columns connected with glass walls supported a dome with a spire on top, which in turn touched the main roof, making it one. Before following Thule into his abode, they took a look down into the valley. The clouds were no longer so dangerously black and dense, yet the sun did not come through. They could also see the spaceport, as a ship just left it and disappeared into the cloud cover. The settlements, the workers on their small boats in the swamps and somewhere a crash was heard. Startled by this, several fiery red feathered birds swooped out of one of the forests, screeching loudly across the sky.

"Oh, there's another gas bubble gone up!" muttered Thule, leading them into his apartment. It was simply furnished, a bed, a sitting area and kitchenette. Behind a closed door Din guessed the bathroom. The old man took off his mask, Liara did the same and put it on the dining table. A narrow spiral staircase wound upwards, where Thule now took them.

When they entered the shrine, they noticed the ancient floor, in which ornaments and small mosaics were set in blue and yellow. As large as the room was, this represented the galaxy, small larger circles planets and stars and lines connecting them. In the center was also a circle in which there was a fire bowl. The decorations were also found on the pillars, Liara carefully ran her fingers over them, in a few places the paint was already peeling off. Thule seemed to have activated a mechanism, because the windows suddenly darkened and in the next moment several flames blazed in the bowl. These reflected on Din's armor. Thule now turned to Liara first, however.

"How far along are you in your training?"

Liara puffed out her cheeks briefly and told him what Ahsoka had shown her so far.

"I'm also not sure that contact with Din when he was in a coma would have even happened without Morai!"

The old man nodded.

"I have heard of the Convor lady, she is very strong. But I think with your help we'll be able to coax the Mandalorian out of his hidden secrets yet! As they say, a strong will will penetrate even a rock!"

He winked at Liara, but then became a bit more serious.

"Your mother actually broke every Jedi law!"

Liara lowered her head, casting a sideways glance at Din, and Thule nodded.

"Yes also you should not be together!"

Din, who had been patterning a motif on the ground, jerked his head around frantically. His mind began to work and Thule sensed the Mandalorian's agitation.

"Calm down. There have always been exceptions and not everyone thought that way. But the lesson now was that love can turn to hate and hate is the greatest danger of falling into the clutches of the dark force. I don't see it that way and that's why I wasn't very popular with my views. Especially loneliness promotes thoughts that can also drag you down. Even though I have chosen this life, to live alone, I am not lonely. I have my friends here and I am not afraid of closing my eyes forever. Your mother has released many of her feelings, the crystal has absorbed this. If she had left the temple in time to find someone to take over her task, the crystal would still be in place. That's why you are the successor now, it responds to you!"

Liara gulped.

"And what happens when I am of age?"

Thule smiled.

"Either you train someone foreign before then, or pass it on to your children!"

The old man looked at Din, who had listened to this explanation with interest.

"Please take off your helmet and give me the dark saber! Your grandfather once had it in his hands and this is how we can make this connection!"

Din wasn't really sure how the two of them were going to manage it. He sighed and handed the handle of the weapon to Thule. As he took it in his hands and activated it, the old man smiled pensively. The gentle hum of the saber and the crackle of the fire had a calming effect. Then, however, he frowned. He took a few steps away from Din, they seemed graceful. He swung the weapon back and forth in his hand, turning gracefully with it, not showing his age. Then he kept the tip of the saber pointed at Din.

"You used the Force!"

It was a statement, not a question.

Liara stared at Din in surprise as he nodded slightly.

"It flew into the palm of my hand, but I was under the impression that the neti had helped me with it! That's why I didn't think it was worth mentioning!"

Thule beamed all over his face at the confirmation.

"Maybe, but I don't believe it. Sit in the middle, we'll take a seat next to you!"

Thule handed the saber back to Din.

"Beautiful weapon. Such power emanating from it, like my lightsaber once did. Unfortunately, I lost it while fleeing the Empire long ago..."

His look, first admiration, then you could see the sorrow for the loss of his sword. Thule shook his head, trying to get rid of this memory. He looked again at Din.

"What do you know all about the Force?"

"What Ahsoka has told me. The Force is in everything and those who can sense it take the energy from their environment!"

Thule smirked at the simple explanation.

"Yes it is everywhere, in the air, here in this stone floor, this flame. You seem to have released something in you during your struggle. Actually, it's in all of us, but for many it doesn't come out because that part of consciousness isn't used. Every living being has midi-chlorians in its blood. Without them, there would be no life in the galaxy. Most of them are firmly convinced, only with a large amount it is possible to feel the power. But I disagree. If you are a peaceful being, you too will have the opportunity to discover a new world for yourself through it. The neti helped you in the end because you could not have done it alone and they knew about your good intentions. I cannot train you to be a Mandalorian Jedi in a day, as your Mand'alor Tarre Viszla once was. But with the young lady's assistance, we should be able to pave the way for you to reach where your grandfather once was!"

Thule pointed to the dark saber.

"Please continue to hold it in your hand at all times, no matter what!"

Din nodded. He looked a little helplessly at Liara, but she smiled encouragingly at him.

"Please close your eyes and focus on my voice!" the old man instructed him. Din took a deep breath, then closed his eyes. A little further behind him, he could hear the hissing of the fire in the bowl. "Attention!" said Thule, then a bright sound rang out, brought on by the old man with a singing bowl. Even when he put it aside again, it could still be heard. Then the old man and Liara each touched him on the wrists.

"Do you feel how much endurance and power is in that single note? How it glides through everything, even your armor?"

Din concentrated on this, actually feeling that his chest plate in particular had absorbed the sound and was passing it on to his body. Light vibrations penetrated him.

"Take a deep breath in and out. Feel your breath circulating through your body. Breathe in and out consciously. Listen to the heartbeat of your breath. Relax your back and shoulders."

Thule could see Din's shoulders loosen and he nodded to Liara. He had caught her a little off guard earlier when he had entered her mind to tell her what to do. She nodded back and concentrated as well. She, like Din, continued to listen to the old man's words.

"All your emotional baggage is leaving you with every breath that leaves you. Shake your inner tension free, send it out of you, with every heartbeat, it becomes less!"

Din felt sleepy, Thule's voice was soothing and his body responded to every word. And although it sounded quieter and quieter, as if Din was moving away from him, he understood everything he said.

"As you breathe, make inner peace with yourself and all your worries. Now breathe deeply, until you bring your body and consciousness into a stillness and lightness. You stretch out your arms and stand on both feet. Feel the solid ground and see the light blue light enveloping your body, protecting you. Do you see it?"

Din nodded, just didn't know, did he really, or only in his mind. It was all so far away somehow.

"You leave this light and go your own way now!"

Din didn't understand what Thule meant by that, but then the blue light pulled away from him, disappeared, and darkness formed around him. And then he felt this tingling sensation. He looked at his hand clutching the dark saber, from there it emanated and traveled down his arm, spreading throughout his body. Again a bright sound rang out, taking hold of him. The vibrations became more, traveling from his toes to the tips of his hair throughout his entire body. Excitement and curiosity mixed with uncertainty about what was happening to him. He felt a tug on him, as if someone was reaching for him, trying to pull him out of his armor. He gasped for air, trembling slightly, but then he perceived Liara's voice reassuring him, telling him to let go and trust.

Din breathed deeply again, feeling warmth and security just from her voice. A source of light flickered below him in the darkness, and when he looked down, his breath caught. He saw Thule, Liara, and himself sitting in front of the fire bowl. His amazement lasted but a blink of an eye, then a red light rushed toward him, circling him and forcing him to close his eyes.

He heard Thule's voice, but it was so quiet, just a whisper, that he had to concentrate.

"Remember your childhood, when your parents were alive. Remember the protection, the care and security they gave you, the love and happiness of having a family. You still carry in your hearts the innocence of that child!"

Time keeps runnin′ away

No matter what's left behind

It keeps on movin′

Before Din opened his eyes, he felt the warm rays of the sun on his cheek, the gentle wind, it smelled a little like lemons. And this smell reminded him of home. Even though it was so long ago now, he thought of the lemon trees that were there in masses, of the little avenue that had always given him shade as a child. He blinked several times, the sun blinded him. When he could see more clearly, he noticed the palm trees and the white marble fountain that stood in the center of the marketplace. Din, was back on Aq Vetina. But not as an adult, but as a little boy. He was barefoot, feeling the rough sand under his feet. His toes played with the coarse grains of sand. He could remember that his mother had always asked him to wear shoes. But the other children also went without shoes, since it was not far to the beach. It was hardly worthwhile to put on shoes. But now there were no children here, or other inhabitants of the small town. It was like dead...

Only the splashing of the fountain was to be heard. Din bent down to pick up a small stone and threw it into the water basin. An additional splash sounded and Din grinned. Some days they had sat together in a large group of children and hours later, had fished all the little stones out of the water again. Din wondered why he was here. As he bent down to pick up another stone, he heard a rustling sound. He winced and turned to the source of the noise.

"Din!"

Standing by a palm tree was a man in Mandalorian armor, the sun reflecting off the silver and causing a green hue to shimmer out. The man detached himself from the palm tree and approached him. He had black curly hair, already a few gray strands in it. And Din recognized him from the memory that had shown him to the Gurlanin. His grandfather indeed had the same nose as him and in his brown eyes, was to be seen the joy when he saw his grandson standing in front of him.

"I'm afraid I don't know how much time has passed in the meantime, but Thule actually did it!"

He went down on one knee in front of Din and eyed the young one.

"I hope you've had a good life so far, and that those who raised you have been good surrogate parents to you!"

Din just nodded, speechless. His grandfather laughed liberatedly.

"That's how long my spirit has been waiting here, to finally be able to tell you where to find us!"

He leaned down to Din's ear and whispered something into it. Din nodded, he would not forget those coordinates. Then his grandfather took him in his arms, Din held onto him. Never wanted to let him go.

"We will meet again. Take care of yourself, my boy!"

Din felt the tear running down his cheek.

The voice faded, the body disappeared, and Din only grasped at nothing. A gust of wind tugged at his clothes. Something red flew with him and that's when he noticed his clothes disintegrating. He closed his eyes and felt the tug again.

Time keeps running away

No matter what′s left behind

It keeps on moving

Tomorrow is not in today

And all of your yesterdays

Are only a matter of

Time.

Din fell, he could feel the resistance on his clothes, but he saw nothing in the darkness. It was like the feeling when he had tried the jetpack for the first time and had not yet come to terms with the controls. He rowed his hands as if he could stop the fall that way. His heart was pounding up to his throat and he could feel the panic flaring up inside him. Was he not going to get out of this? Couldn't Thule and Liara help him anymore? But then it began to sparkle around him, he was surrounded by stars and the falling slowed down. Then, from far away, he heard Thule's voice again.

"Breathe in and out deeply again. Remember that I led you to the mountaintop. That is where you must return!"

Din thought of the shrine, trying to calm himself, and the tug on his body grew stronger again. A bright sound caught him and he knew that he was on the right path.

And the journey of a lifetime

Will begin with one step

When you're climbing up that mountain

It′s so easy to forget

It's one step at a

"Breathe deeply out and in. Feel the warmth in this space and with each breath you get closer to your body and come back!"

It was like a suction, he felt so heavy and his innermost but still light.

"Open your eyes!"

Din lay on his side, his cheek touching the cold floor and he felt like his heart would explode at any moment. His breath was shock-white and sweat was running from his forehead. The saber had slipped from his hand, lying between him and Thule. His fingers ached, so tightly had he gripped the weapon. His spine burned like fire, the pain traveling up and down his back. He shivered and blurredly saw Liara bending over him, touching him anxiously. His ears were buzzing; he couldn't hear what she was saying to him. Din felt the nausea rising in him. He managed to get to his knees, and scrambled on all fours away from Thule and Liara. Then he threw up.

[natalyelle]

Broken Connections

Shepard receives a task to investigate a broken connection with laboratories on a distant planet. She and her companions arrive there to find out that something is wrong there and they should find it out as quickly as possible.

Chapter 1 of 3, around 2k words

Also on AO3

One of Gloria Shepard's favorite star systems in the Galaxy was the Pandonea system. An unusual bright star, whimsically colored planets, most of which were rich in minerals.

The most beautiful planet in the system was a turquoise-purple gas giant surrounded by a thin pale ring of asteroids. Gloria was looking at it with interest through the porthole when the Joker's voice announced over the speakerphone:

“Commander, Admiral Hackett wants to get in touch with you, he's on the line in the communications room.”

“I'm on my way,” Gloria replied, turning away from the window.

“Commander,” the admiral said politely, bowing his head. “I'm glad to see you're all right.”

“Likewise, Admiral,” Shepard nodded. “Do you have a task for me?”

“Yes, we need to check what happened to the communication in the research laboratory on Eltrea. You are the closest to the planet among the Alliance ships, so it was decided to entrust the investigation to you.”

“Acknowledged. What are the details? What happened?”

“The laboratory includes several employees from different research institutes from different planets, including Earth. Every week they send a signal confirming that everything is fine in the laboratory and it is functioning. With the same signal, as a rule, new materials and scientific information obtained during the work of the laboratory are regularly received. However, for the third week now, the laboratories have been silent. No new information, no confirmation signal. The institutes are concerned about the fate of their employees.”

“Don't worry, Admiral, we'll figure it out.”

Gloria turned off the video link and turned on the speakerphone with the cockpit.

“Joker, set a course for the orbit of Eltrea. We have a new task.”

“It will be done, Commander,” the pilot replied cheerfully.

“I heard that we have set a course to Eltrea,” Liara began cautiously, meeting Shepard near the elevator between the decks of the Normandy.

“Yes, do you want to come to the surface with me? We need to find out if everything is in order at the local laboratory,” Gloria smiled.

“If possible,” Liara smiled back. “The fact is that my friend, Lydia Orlova, works in this laboratory, I would like to make sure that everything is fine with her. She is a xenolinguist, we met at the Prothean excavations.”

“A xenolinguist?” Shepard's eyebrows went up. She went to the porthole and gazed thoughtfully at the stars floating in the darkness. “I thought that the laboratory was engaged in the extraction and study of minerals or something like that.”

“No, as far as I know, the Prothean pyramid is being excavated here. Lydia is a very good expert in alien languages and symbolism, her knowledge helps to decipher the symbols on the pyramids.”

“The Prothean pyramid? Quite unexpectedly… Okay, I'm including you in the landing team. Prepare your tablets, documents and materials, I think we can take advantage of the opportunity for cultural and scientific exchange.”

“Yes, Commander!” Liara happily ran to her cabin to collect things, Shepard just watched her dreamily and smiled at her thoughts.

“Tali, Garrus,” Shepard said over the speakerphone, “get ready to land on the surface of the planet. We have a special task.”

“Commander, are you sure you should include only alien companions in the landing group?” Kaidan asked cautiously, coming up to Gloria. “If this is an Alliance task…”

“There's also me,” Shepard smiled dazzlingly. “Don't worry, I know what I'm doing.”

* * *

“So, guys, let's repeat our legend,” Shepard said, sitting at the wheel of the Mako all-terrain vehicle. Garrus was sitting on her right hand, Liara and Tali were in the back seat.

“Why invent some kind of legend if something serious happened?” Tali asked. “What if there is no one there who will listen to us. And if they will, then why invent something, and not just say everything as it is?”

“Even if everything looks good, you can't trust this apparent well-being,” Gloria remarked. “It will not be superfluous to cover ourselves so there are no additional problems.”

“It's kind of complicated,” Liara muttered.

“So the legend,” Shepard repeated. “Liara was sent here from the Citadel as a new Prothean specialist. The Citadel could not inform her appointment, because there were some problems with communication, so Liara arrived here without warning.”

“In my opinion, it is quite logical,” Garrus said.

“Tali was on the same ship as Liara, learned about the laboratory and decided to come here for her Pilgrimage to help with communication problems,” Shepard continued. “In exchange for some useful, but not classified information. See? We are not even deceiving anyone yet.”

Liara looked thoughtfully out of the small window. A deserted valley passed by, low hills could be seen in the distance. The bright, slightly reddish sun, setting below the horizon, gave the landscape a purple hue. Shepard's eyes sometimes took on the same shade.

“And Garrus?” Liara asked quietly.

“And Garrus is my assistant, escorting us to the laboratory so that we are not attacked by wild animals and all that.” Gloria happily turned the steering wheel of the all-terrain vehicle.

“Shepard, I don't know what is your human custom, but aren't you driving too dangerous?” Tali asked.

“It's all right!” Gloria replied cheerfully, looking into the rearview mirror with a smile. Liara caught her eyes shining with joy and involuntarily smiled herself. They are going on a possibly dangerous mission, and Shepard is enjoying the trip like a child. It was a little surprising, but for some reason Gloria's joy was contagious, and Liara also cheered up a little.

“Do you have any qualification tests for drivers?” Garrus asked, gripping his seat.

“Relax, guys, what can go wro – ”

Mako suddenly fell into a hole, the sky seemed to mix with the earth. With a thud, the vehicle landed on solid ground, and Shepard, as if nothing had happened, drove it forward.

“It's just a shorter way!” Shepard exclaimed. “We'll be there in no time!”

After a while, the dark buildings of the laboratory appeared from behind the hills. They looked like large boxes placed side by side and on top of each other. To the left of the buildings, the dark top of the pyramid could be seen sticking out of the ground. Liara fixed her eyes on this vague, gloomy spot. How many secrets this pyramid must have kept! How she would really like to be among the researchers of this laboratory to learn the Prothean secrets that bothered her a lot.

On the other hand, next to her now is a person who holds no less secrets of the Protheans than, perhaps, this pyramid. Liara shifted her gaze to Shepard. The violet light gave her eyes even more depth, and her lips an unusual and attractive color. Is it only the secrets of the Protheans that attract her to Shepard?..

“How interesting, their lights are on,” Shepard drawled, nodding at the laboratory buildings.

Liara looked ahead through the windshield and saw that Shepard was right. The small rectangular windows glowed slightly with a dark orange light.

“So, scientists are working there...” said Liara.

“Or they all ran away from there,” Gloria said melancholically. “Or they are lying dead. And the lights are on because the generator is still producing electricity.”

Garrus coughed slightly.

“Well, we will believe in the best!” Shepard smiled, driving closer to a large building with a door.

The team got out of the vehicle and went to the door, near which was a communication screen. Gloria punched the button under the screen with her fist, and it came to life. A young man's face appeared in the gray interference. His dark, thick brows were furrowed. "So, at least someone is alive here," Liara thought with some relief.

“Good evening!” Gloria said with a smile in her voice. Her very face was covered by a helmet. “I am Commander Gloria Shepard of the Normandy, Spectre, who has arrived here to accompany your new colleague, Dr. Liara T'Soni.”

“I haven't heard about any new colleague,” the man behind the door replied.

“It's kind of weird,” Shepard continued. “I was told that the message was sent to you a week ago. Perhaps you have problems with communication? We can help you solve them.”

“Everything is fine with us!” the man insisted.

“Maybe you should tell your supervisor about us?” Gloria asked and put her hands behind her back, showing that she was ready to wait for a long, very long time. The man sighed and pressed a button on the side. The front door hissed and opened. Gloria waved her hand solemnly, letting her companions inside.

After passing the buffer zone, where everyone took off their helmets, the team went into a small hall. It looked cozy - there was a table with artificial flowers against the far wall, along the walls there were small display cases with extracted Prothean artifacts. A tall, red-haired woman came out of a door at the side. Her piercing green eyes scanned the Normandy team and settled on Shepard.

“Hello!” Gloria took the initiative and took a step forward to the woman.

“Hello,” the woman said, slightly tilting her head, walked up to Shepard and held out her hand. Gloria shook it politely.

"My name is Gloria Shepard, " she said.

“Yes, I have already been informed,” the woman nodded. The man from the screen appeared behind her. “ My name is Ariadna Dowsell, I am the head of the local scientific laboratory. This is Greg Nicholson, a specialist geologist.”

The man nodded.

“I am very glad that a new specialist was sent to us, and at the same time I am a little puzzled.”

“Something happened? Shepard asked, tilting her head to the side.

“The fact is that we requested a new specialist two weeks ago, but we did not receive any response. And no messages from our institutes either. Your arrival is a surprise for us.”

“And yet, this is a pleasant surprise!”

A short, fair-haired woman appeared from the same side door. She smiled happily as she walked up to Ariadna.

“This is Ioanna Viktorova, a specialist in xenoarchaeology,” Ariadna introduced her.

“We at the laboratory are always happy to see new faces!” Ioanna chirped cheerfully.

“Xenoarchaeology?” Liara asked. “ Sounds very interesting!”

“Oh, yes, it's really interesting! But let's not stand on the doorstep, come in, let's drink tea!”

Shepard and the company followed the cheerful Ioanna. Ariadna and Greg also joined them.

“It's quite cozy here,” Liara said, looking around the small room furnished as a living room. There was a sofa and soft armchairs, a coffee table in the middle, near the walls there were cabinets with books and a couple of stone exhibits.

“Yes, you can't say that you have a laboratory here,” Gloria drawled, sipping the black tea offered to her.

“We have been here for quite a long time, so in order not to go completely crazy, we decided to organize a more familiar, homely atmosphere,” explained Ioanna.

“I heard that Lydia Orlova is also here,” Liara said, looking awkwardly at Ariadna.

“Yes, she's here,” she nodded. “She's checking out the dig site before it gets dark.”

“And are there many specialists here now?” Shepard asked.

“We have enough,” Ariadne smiled. “In addition to the four humans, there are also two asari from Tessia and one from Nevos, three turians from Palaven and one volus.”

“And how are the studies going?” Shepard poured herself more tea.

“Pretty casual,” Greg said. “We are clearing the found pyramid from the dirt so that we can study it better.”

The door to the living room opened, and a tired young woman with her hair tied up in a bun entered the room.

“Lydia!” Liara could not contain her joy, jumped up from the sofa and ran to the girl who entered.

“Liara!” the girl smiled,hugging asari. “Is it you?”

“It is!” Liara laughed. For some reason, all the tension that had not left her in this room dissipated. “I'm very glad to see you!”

“But by what fates?” The girls stopped hugging and sat down on the sofa together.

“Dr. T'Soni was sent to us as a specialist in the Protheans,” Ariadna said. It seemed to Liara that the temperature in the room dropped by half a degree. Why? She couldn't understand. Perhaps it was just her imagination. Lydia beamed.

“You will be delighted with what we have dug up here!” she exclaimed.

“Commander Shepard, this is the Normandy,” a voice whispered in Gloria's earpiece.

“I'm listening to you, Kaidan.”

“We have a little problem, due to the asteroid debris, we have to adjust the orbit, and we will not be able to lift you in the near future. Do you have the opportunity to wait on the planet for about a day?”

Gloria caught Ariadne's eye. She nodded slowly and said:

“We can accommodate you and your team in the reserve rooms, Commander.”

“Excellent. Kaidan, we're staying in the lab, keep me updated on your situation and condition. Shepard out.”

“Yes, ma'am.”

The rustling in the ear stopped.

“And what about your connection?” Shepard asked Ariadna.

“I don't know for sure,” Dowsell said.

“I can check the status of your communications center,” Tali offered. Ariadna frowned a little and exchanged glances with Ioanna.

“Quarians are famous for their techniques,” Shepard said, leaning back in her chair. “Perhaps you just lost some wire, and we will quickly fix it.”

“Yes, thank you, it's a good idea,” Ariadna smiled again. “Ioanna conducts…”

“Tali'zora,” quarian introduced herself with a slight bow.

“Yes, yes,” Ariadna said quickly and nodded to Ioanna. Ioanna nodded in response, and she and Tali left the living room.

“And where are your other colleagues?” Shepard asked. “I would like to meet them. Especially the volus scientist.”

“They're probably already asleep,” Ariadne shrugged. “Well, and you must be tired. Greg will show you to your rooms.”

“Tomorrow you will show me everything!” Liara said happily to Lydia, and they wished each other good night.

[k1ngj0ve]

i accidentally kept thinking about ‘what if the next mass effect is set hundreds of years in the future, so Liara and Wrex and Grunt (can be) still alive and Shepard has been brought back from the dead Ripley Style to save the universe again’

And oh my god i.. hate that?? Because that’s a good and cool story idea, but i would HATE to have to in-universe mourn the deaths of all my companions. Would there even be anything like a grave to visit? I know that things are a little more permanent in ME universe because of Krogan and Asari being around to remember people, but like.. still man! Shepard being stuck accidentally having outlived all her friends and family by an incredible scale and only those two races being able to relate. “im human, its not supposed to be like this for us”

If its been long enough possibly being able to contact the andromeda universe because technology advanced enough to do so. Maybe something-something lost quarian fleet? 

(tryign to distract myself but agghhh noo lets be honest im still just sad about dead Tali and Garrus and Mordin and Thane and and and. Would there be digital memorials? would they exist in any sort of oral tradition? Do people include them in history books or are only Liara and Shepard mentioned by name? “we didnt do it alone. Dont you remember them?” but they dont, they have no idea)

[smokeybrand]

Reap What You Sow

Finally finished Mass Effect Legendary Edition and gearing up for a second run. Before that, though, i wanted to stop and reflect on how well this game holds up, how ell this story is told. I’ve been playing these games since Mass Effect 2 was released on the PS3 over a decade ago and i haven’t regretted even a second of that time spent. I love these games. I loved these titles. And Legendary gave me an opportunity to experience the entire narrative, on one system, with a gorgeous face lift This makes me want Bioware to take another shot at Andromeda because, holy sh*t, can they deliver when they’re not hindered by corporate bullsh*t and it looks like EA is starting to accept that as fact and policy, rather than just the gripes of fans. I love these games and before i get back to it, i wanted to highlight my favorite companions because Mass Effect is nothing without those who run headfirst into the fire with you.

Urdnot Wrex

I hate the first Mass Effect but that’s because i’m a Sony shill so i started wit the best one of the franchise and had to double back. It was a poor experience by comparison but Wrex was f*cking delight. I loved this dude but his time on the throne in 2 and his limited time with the squad in 3 is what that sealed it for me. Uncle Urdnot is a goddamn joy to play with and even more hilarious as an NPC. If you romance Liara, definitely talk to him during the Cure the Genophage mission in 3. You wont regret it.

Aria T’Loak

I’ve been a fan of Aria since the first time she introduced herself in Afterlife. “Don’t f*ck with Aria.” Yeah, she definitely made an impression. Mostly an NPC in the second game, she really came into her in the third. The extended time we spent with her in the Omega DLC was exceptional. I loved that side of her we got to see and, if you play Paragon, you get to see an interesting evolution in her character. Not as dope as getting that awkward kiss at the end but still just as rewarding.

Javik

Good ol’ Prothy the Prothean. I don’t really bring him on missions in 3 but i make sure to check in after every major battle because dude is a f*cking fountain of snark. I do, however, make sure to take him on the Thessia mission because the banter he and Liara have n that temple is very compelling. Their dynamic is one of the highlights in Mass Effect 3 and i absolutely adore that sh*t. It never gets old and it never disappoints. I’ve played this game dozens of times over the years and i have never once deviated from these two, on that mission, since the first time i took them into that battle together. Plus, Javik in the Citadel is a whole ass delight. Make sure to check your bathroom when you wake up the next day. There’s a surprised in there for you!

EDI

EDI is a ray of sunshine in such ire circumstances. Long before she got Eva’s body, EDI was a full member of the Normandy crew. Her banter after becoming unshackled was brilliant in 2 and even more dynamic in 3. Seeing her becoming more and more “alive, over the course of that last title, was a real pleasure and i hated seeing her name on that board at the end. I almost always pick Destruction because that’s the only one where Shepard survives but it’s always a struggle. Me or EDI? My life or Hers? I hate having to make that choice but the time spent with her until that point, is always so much fun.

Urdnot Grunt

Grunt is MY Wrex. He’s the Krogan i was introduced to first and he’s definitely be the one i have the most love toward. I basically raised this dude in-game during 2 and seeing him finally come into his own in 3, is a big moment for those who are as invested in this series as i am. Not only is he an absolute unit on my squad, but the kid is hilarious. Some of the best banter in 3 comes from Grunt and it makes me wish i got to play with him more. Similar to Jack who is definitely going to make an appearance later down this list, you only get fleeting time with him but that time spent hunting Rachni is one of the funniest missions in all of Mass Effect 3.

Miranda Lawson

My darling Cerberus Cheerleader Princess. Miranda is never my first choice on a mission and was, like, my last romance option originally but, upon running threw these titles a decade later, she’s a lot stronger a character than i remember. Seriously, the growth she shows throughout Mass Effect 2 is real and is presented with a proper focus in her driven resolve during her solo mission in 3. Miranda Lawson is one of the most complete, best written characters in the entire franchise and I'm frustrated with myself that it took a whole ass decade to finally see that. Plus, i mean, she got a fat ass, too, so...

Mordin Solus

Listen, I'm going to keep this one short and sweet. Mordin is amazing and if you didn’t feel something when he did what he did in 3, f*ck you.

Kasumi Goto

Oh, Ms. Goto, i do enjoy you so very, very, much. Kasumi is like the mascot of my squad, the ship cat who keeps knocking sh*t of the table. She is an absolute disaster but i still love her anyway. She has some of the best lines in the entire franchise and i dearly missed her snark on my ship in 3. Tat lone mission with the Hanar was not enough time with the galaxy’s best thief but it had to be because Kasumi is nobody’s fool. She was like, “No galactic war with eldritch space horrors for me, sir.” but she made up for it in the Citadel DLC.

Liara T’Soni

Now we’re getting into the meat. Liara is a mainstay in my squad during Mass Effect 3. She is dub overpowered, especially with that Singularity, and i rarely go into a boss fight without it. Beyond her fighting abilities, Liara just has such a sweet relationship with Shepard that spans the entire trilogy. She opted not to be an official part of the team in 2, later taking up the mantle of the Shadow Broker, but more than makes up for that in 3. Liara is a principal character in Mass Effect 3 and her relationship with Shepard in that game, specifically, is fantastic to experience. If you romance her, it’s even more rewarding.

Garrus Vakarian

Garrus is one third of my Death Lineup. He and Tali stay in my squad in 2 and alternate with Liara in 3. Dude is, for lack of a better term, a straight up killer. I’ve only played mShep so i never actually romances Garrus but dude is easily one of the best companions in the entire game. The relation he has with Shepard and the way it develops over those three games, is only topped by one other character and she’s the premier on this list. Garrus is hilarious and a real force in the game but, more than that, he’s arguably Shepards’ best friend and a solid foundation they can rely on as dude shapes the history of an entire galaxy.

Jack

Oh, my darling Jacqueline Night. You were SO close to the top spot on this list and only missed it because you were introduced in the second game. That’s it. Jack is dope, one of the most complete characters in the entire franchise, and definitely a great romance option. I adore this chick for all of the reasons but mostly because of how realized she becomes by the end of 3. Her growth from “Psychotic Biotic” into maternal teacher for a bunch of biotic kids, was a turn i didn’t expect but loved to see. I love Mass Effect 2′s version of Jack, for sure, but her appearance in Mass Effect 3 is head-and-shoulders better than her initial introduction. It hurts we never got to actually got to play with her in an actual fight but her appearances were still outstanding.

Tali’Zorah vas Normandy

Tali is the best f*cking thing about this franchise and I'll fight you to the death over it. Listen, Tali, for me, is best girl, best character, best development, best everything! I adore Tali. She made that first game bearable but really came into her own in the second. By the third, she was the premier supporting character in the entire franchise for me. Literally her and Garrus stay in my party and for good reason. Tali’s romance is so goddamn saccharine that it gave me diabetes but her maturation as that narrative continues is exceptionally written. Being one of two squad mates who has ridden with Shep through the entire trilogy really gives Tali room to grow and it shows. She is the best companion in the game and i almost never leave her behind.

Look, all of the squadmates hold a special place in my heart but these twelve, specifically, always seem to find their way into my onsite shenanigans more often than not. Obviously, just because you didn’t make this list, doesn’t mean you didn’t have your moments and Aria being on here instead of, say, Thane, is not a knock against him at all. Aria was just hilarious and i enjoyed what little time we shared. Everyone on the Normandy is dope and i cannot wait until my next mission to save the galaxy from the Reapers with them. Not Kaidan, though. Never Kaidan. F*ck that guy, specifically.

[tealenko]

Didn't Have the Heart (Chapter 4)

Chapter 4: A Friend in Need

Hey... I'm alive XDDDDDDD No seriously, thanks for the patience (I'm soooooo glad to be back) Hope you're doing fine!!! Against all odds, I'm in love with this one. Btw, sorry again to the Liara stans... Well, I'm not sorry... I'm actually giving her an amazing development that's making me like her waaaaaaaay more than what Bioware was never able to acomplish lol, and, as I said before, nothing against her... This is just how I imagine the character in MY story.

I swear I don't have anything against Liara (well, maybe a little, but that's because she can't avoid being an asari lol). Anyways, don't freak out by what I do at the beginning if you really like her, I promise this ends well for both of them.

Summary: Now is Kaidan's turn to confront the universe and face the fact that, for better of for worse, her relationship with Shepard is no longer a secret.

Words: 3343 Rating: Teens and up, I guess?

Read in AO3 -> [link]

Previous Chapter -> [Link] Next Chapter -> [Link] All Chapters -> [link] Through Hell and Back series -> [link]

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His eyes only need a few seconds to get used to the brightness of the room, his brain, on the other hand, needs much more time before it’s able to catch up with the rest of his body. 

The first thing Kaidan does, once his head is used to the light too, is extend an arm and look for someone who, to his dismay, is no longer there, and he quickly starts to wonder how long it’s been since his last night companion decided to leave his side.

Summoning all his strength, he sits up slowly and switches on his omni-tool to take a look at his schedule.

“Thirteen hours…” He says out loud, thinking that hearing what he already knows will somehow make it more believable. “I’ve been asleep for thirteen hours.”

And I go back to work… In two. He adds in his mind, after looking at when his next shift is. Okay then, I guess I should get going...

Despite his thoughts, he doesn’t move. In fact, he’s so far from exiting the room that he doesn’t even look at the door. Instead, he redirects his eyes to the pillow laying next to his own.

Kaidan stares at the ivory cloud for a couple seconds before grabbing it, and, after a thorough inspection, he curls around it, giving it a soft hug as he reminisces flashes of what happened in his room thirteen hours ago.

Her scent is still present on the pillow, sweet and airy, fresh and light, with hints of a flower he’s never been able to decipher, and with an overall feeling that reminds him of the autumn air right when the storm it’s about to break. 

This familiar smell, that simultaneously soothes and tortures his soul, is the only thing keeping him from thinking that what happened last night was only a dream.

Why didn’t you wake me up? He wonders, deepening the hug, afraid to lose what really grounds him to reality. Why leave just like that? He starts to worry, trying his best to look into his mind in order to find in anything they’ve shared the reason behind her actions.

Ahead of being swallowed by whirlpool of what ifs, a tide of sweet memories comes to aid him. Echoes from their past come back to his mind just in time to rescue him before the storm breaks inside of him, strucking right into his heart like a glowing lightning and leaving behind many flashes of her words.

I’ve just realized… Shouldn’t you be sleeping?

You should go and rest, you’ve earned it. 

Let me store this away, you must be tired.

You deserve to take a break.

How are you feeling?

You’re not sleeping, Kaidan?

“Of course…” He says to himself, finally finding the will to stand up and start walking to leave the room. “It wouldn’t be you…” He smiles before finishing his sentence inside of his head. Ayyy Mio… When are you going to learn? Who needs to rest… I… I just need you by my side when I wake up.

˜

Feeling like a new man, after taking a long shower and a quick shave, Kaidan heads as fast as he’s able to the kitchen, feeling hungrier than ever.

In just a few seconds, he grabs all the leftovers he’s able to find from the lunch serving and starts to look for a place to sit. 

On his never ending quest to avoid direct light, he chooses the darkest area and starts eating the moment he gets there, not even realizing he hasn’t picked anything to drink, way too distracted by how hungry he is. 

Nevertheless, after a few quick bites, a bottle of water magically appears in front of him, making him stop eating for a moment to raise his head to find out who is the person making the kind offering. 

“It seemed to do wonders for the Commander… I think it will help you too.”

Kaidan does his best to swallow as fast as he’s able in order to express his gratitude.

“I… Well, thanks, Liara.” He smiles at the asari, suddenly realizing how thirsty he is. “You truly are a gift.”

She smiles and shakes her head, taking a few seconds before talking again, a bit surprised about how different his behavior is from Shepard’s a few hours ago, so calmed and relaxed despite the massive hangover she assumes he must have.

“Do you mind if…” She attempts to ask, pointing at the chair situated in front of him, but he replies before she’s able to finish her question.

“Of course! Take a seat…” Kaidan smiles one more time before resuming with his meal, although this time he manages to control his manners a little in order to eat like a normal human being. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah…” She lies, both to herself and Kaidan, quickly changing her mind about her answer after giving the whole question a second thought. “I mean no… Well… I don’t know.”

He stares at her for a few seconds, trying to find a hint of her feelings on her expression.

“You don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want to, but, if you ever need a shoulder...” He smiles at her, giving her a friendly tap on the arm before resuming his meal. “Nothing good comes from fighting wars on our own, you know that, right?”

Liara smiles back instinctively, focusing on him as a lot of her worries and questions start to disappear, finding right in front of her, in his behavior, the solution to many of them.   

“Yeah…” She says, more to herself than outloud, getting a bit lost in her own thoughts “Maybe you’re right...”

“You know I am.” He adds emphatically, making her come back to reality at lightspeed. “So, if you ever need anything… Do not hesitate to ask.”

She replies with a smile but doesn’t say anything else, both of them remaining in complete silence for the next few minutes, until he’s finished eating all his meal and drinking all his water.

“Feeling better, Major?”

“Ah, yeah. Please…” He’s about to ask her to forget about his rank, but some quick flashes of the previous night quickly advise him to do otherwise and let it go. “Nevermind.” He relaxes and sits back a little, quickly looking for something else to say.  “By the way, you mentioned Shepard earlier, she was okay, right?”

“Ah, yes… Well… She almost killed me for raising my voice…” She takes a second before adding, in a lower tone of voice,  “among other things.”

Kaidan doesn’t need anything else to understand there’s something more to the whole situation than what she’s telling.  

“Are you two okay?”

“Yes. Never better.” Liara sighs, remembering the whole conversation. “Remind me never to bother Shepard when she’s with a hangover, though.”

Kaidan laughs at her comment, picturing very clearly the scene in his mind. 

“Ha. I’m getting the impression you won’t need any help remembering that.”

“Yeah…” Liara smiles at him, watching him clearing the table as she speaks. “And, answering your first question, she is quite well… Or at least feeling better.” 

“Good to hear.” He replies, standing up with the intention to clean up his tray. “Well, then…”

“You truly care, don’t you?” Liara asks, taking him completely by surprise with the quick change of subject. “About her.”

Kaidan stays frozen for a couple of seconds, hesitating what he should say next, finally leaving his tray slowly back on the table and sitting again on his chair.

“Well… I…”  He says, drumming his right hand’s fingers on the table as he clears his throat. “Yes. I do care about her.”

Liara looks at him for a few seconds and, while she attempts to find the right thing to say next, Kaidan quickly interrupts her line of thoughts, with something inside of him that desperately needs to state the obvious.

“Care…” He almost whispers, meeting his gaze with the asari’s as a big smile forms on his face. “Care is not even close to…”

Kaidan falls silent mid sentence, realizing he is, in fact, talking out loud, which gives Liara a few seconds to reorder her thoughts and return to the conversation.

“What, then?” He looks at her confused before she clarifies her question. “What comes close?”

“I…” Kaidan smiles even more, shaking his head a couple of times and taking a moment before putting his feelings into words. “I just… I love her.” He starts laughing a little, still in awe, after all these years, by the way that Shepard takes up every little corner of his heart. “I love her so freaking much… I mean, you have no idea.”

Kaidan laughs even more and gets comfortable in his chair, letting the hundreds of memories he has of her invade her mind for a few seconds.

“I’m starting to…” She replies, answering his smile with one of her own. “And…” Liara hesitates for a second, rearranging her thoughts mid sentence. “Yeah.” 

“And?” He asks, completely aware there’s something else bothering her that she’s not sharing.

“...”

“As I told you before, you don’t need to tell me anything if you don’t want to… Just… Don’t forget the option is there, eh?”

“I’m fine… But thanks for the offer.”

“My pleasure.” Kaidan smiles at her, making her feel even more guilty than before. “Sure you’ll be okay?” He asks once again, fearing there’s more than what he’s able to see. “I was going to leave… But I can stay if you want to, or maybe we can do something else? I have a deck of cards somewhere in my room, I can go for them and…”

“Kaidan…” Liara cuts him mid speech, unable to stand his kindness any longer, feeling way too much remorse to remain silent after seeing him try his best to cheer her up. “Please…”

“Has this anything to do with what you mentioned? Your conversation with Shepard? You two had a disagreement, right? That’s what’s bothering you?”

“In a way…”

“Don’t give it too much of a thought, Liara…” He says, trying to comfort her. “Shepard is always extremely cautious of not sharing anything with anyone, so, when she cannot deal with things any longer, she just fires against the closest target that gives her any small reason to do so.” 

He tries to remember some of their arguments, analyzing the patterns to give her his best advice, while Liara’s awe for the man in front of him increases by the second, only outstaged by the regret that her own past words keep scarring into her conscience. 

“Give her time to calm down and I assure you everything will go back to normal.” 

She stares at Kaidan with a new light, wondering how blind she must have been to be unable to see him as he is until now.

“Hmm…” She mumbles, not knowing what she should say next. 

“As long as you don’t mess with anyone she’s close to, you’ll be fine. Plus, she’s never been the kind to hold a grudge if you’re willing to talk about it…” He laughs a little. “Believe me.”

“Yeah, I’m aware…” She smiles faintly at him, getting lost once again in her own thoughts.

“So… Want to tell me what happened?” Kaidan asks with the sweetest tone of voice he’s able to summon. “Maybe I can help… I can talk to her, if you want to… Or at least I can be used as a tool for you to vent about it.”

He laughs a little, trying his best to lighten up the mood, but it seems that his kind efforts, far from comforting his friend, are having the exact opposite effect.

“The thing is… I… I…” She hesitates for a moment, not knowing how she should phrase what she desperately needs to tell him. “I… How did you put it? Ah yeah… I messed with someone close to her.”

Kaidan’s smile quivers for a second, already knowing where the whole conversation is heading to.

“I see.” 

“Said some things I shouldn't have…” She begins to explain, testing the waters. “Well, quite a lot, in fact, and… And… If I’m honest, I think I’ve never seen her angrier.”

He studies every one of her sentences with care, trying to understand better what happened and find a solution that may help her situation.

“Talk to her, explain yourself… She’ll understand…”

“I already did. She already did...” Liara takes a moment to breathe, getting ready for what is about to happen next. “Everything’s fine between us.”

Kaidan is now more confused than ever, seeing the whole thing isn’t heading where he was thinking.

“So, what’s the problem, then?”

“The problem… The problem is, that I said something terrible, and yes… I’ve apologized for my words already… But… But… In my heart, I know, that my apology wasn’t addressed to the right person.

“I…” All the pieces of the puzzle start to come together as one as he starts to understand where her hesitation to talk with him was really coming from since the beginning. “...see.”

“Kaidan, I…”

“Please… Don’t even mention it, it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not… The things I said about you, about your relationship with her… What I told her she should do…” Liara’s words start to hasten as they come out of her mouth, desperately trying to lighten all the remorse that invades her. “I have no excuse, none… For everything I said about you.”

The tears start to accumulate in the asari’s eyes while she does her best to keep them from falling down. 

“I… I was trying… No. I shouldn’t excuse myself.” She shakes her head a couple of times. “My words were unfair, and cruel, and wrong… And… I’m really in no position to judge your actions Kaidan… I see that now. ”

“I’m sure everything came from a place of concern.”

“You don’t even know…”

“It’s okay.” He interrupts her. “I don’t need to.”

Kaidan smiles, grabbing and squeezing her wrist for a few seconds in an attempt to cheer her up.

“And… That’s it?” The accumulated guilt in her body quickly starts to morph into confusion after witnessing the reaction to her words. “Aren’t you bothered by anything I just said?”

“Not really, no…” He answers after analyzing his feelings, thinking about the whole situation for a second. “I mean, do you have anything against me right now?” 

“Goddess, no. Of course not.” Liara replies immediately, fearing part of her message got lost in translation. “That’s why I wanted to apologize. I… I made a mistake, my worries were unfounded, and subjective, and overall misguided…  And… And…”

“Liara…” Kaidan’s smile deepens even more. “Relax, It’s okay…”

“And why aren't you angry with me?” She asks in a more desperate tone than intended, both dumbfounded and confused by his behavior, feeling completely unworthy of the way he is reacting to the whole situation.

“Angry?” He laughs a little before resuming his speech. “Now I know how she feels when we ask her…” 

“I’m being serious Kaidan…”

“So am I…” Despite his answer, his smile starts to fade little by little, leaving the room in an awkward silence as he looks to the ceiling for a couple of seconds, spending a moment there to take a deep breath before redirecting his eyes back to her.

“Liara…” He starts saying, with a way more serious yet still relaxed demeanor. “How could I be angry if I have the exact same worries that you have?” 

“You don’t really mean that, Kaidan.”

“I... I actually do, yeah.” He replies without hesitation, just as calm as he was before.

Kaidan contemplates his own words for a second, trying to find the best way possible to convey his true feelings. 

“You see, there’s always going to be that voice inside of me that, once in a while, likes to remind me that I’m not really worthy of her… I mean, it’s been there since the beginning…” Kaidan smiles, reflecting about the whole situation. “But that’s okay. It’s only natural, I suppose, Afterall… We are talking about Mio here. So… Who could ever be worthy?”

Liara immediately smiles as an answer to his words, unable to do anything else after witnessing the depth of his friend’s feelings. 

Nevertheless, once she’s able to process everything, there’s something about his last sentence that bewilders her enough to break the enchantment a little, piquing her curiosity just the right amount to make her inquire.

“Mio?” She asks him, completely unaware of the true meaning of the term.

“Yeah…” Kaidan replies, with a few seconds of overall confusion, until he understands the situation. “Oh, right. Shepard...” He laughs a little, finding it amusing that her name slipped out of his mouth that easily. “You’ll see… Sometimes… It doesn’t come naturally, for me, to call her by her last name… Sorry for the confusion.”

“No… It’s okay, I just…” She takes a small pause, thinking about it for a second. “I’ve never heard anyone using it… I mean, I didn’t even know...”

Liara’s thoughts start to turn against her for a few seconds, as she begins to wonder how good of a friend she really is if she didn’t even know her true name. Luckily, Kaidan is able to read it in her expression and react fast enough to erase any hesitation from her mind.

“Well, now you do.” He says endearingly to her. “Welcome to the club… I was feeling quite lonely in here.” He laughs as gives her a soft nudge on her shoulder, making her relax and smile back at him. “And don’t worry about it. No one knows it… I truly am the exception that proves the rule.”

“You really are, aren’t you?” She replies finally at ease with the whole situation, giving more than one meaning to his statement with her question.

Kaidan smiles, taking a second before talking again, hoping that he’s finally managed to put an end to all her worries and found a way to ease her feelings. 

“So… Everything good? Now that we’ve, eh… Cleared up the air, so to speak?”

“Yeah… I think so.” She answers, relieved that he knows what happened. “I still owe you a proper apology, though. A full explanation.”

“Ah… I already know you’re sorry, why waste our time brooding on the same stuff.” Kaidan stands up and grabs his tray, already prepared to leave the whole thing behind. ”Come on, let me buy you a coffee.”

“Okay.” She smiles and nods, following his lead and standing up. “We’ll need to brew a new pot… Shepard decimated what was left of the last one.”

“Cannot say that I’m surprised, after what happened yesterday…”

The two walk together towards the kitchen area and, as Kaidan empties and clears his tray, Liara starts to set the coffee maker.

Once she’s done with the preparation process, she sits on the other side of the island, looking at Kaidan as he cleans every dirty tray left behind by the crew in addition to his own, thinking about their whole conversation and the way he talked about Shepard, finally understanding what the whole picture looks like now that she’s been able to put together all the pieces she needed to complete her puzzle.

“You’re wrong, by the way.” She tells him, now with a big smile on her face, mirroring the same words that were used against her only a few hours ago.

“About?”

“You’re exactly what she needs… What she’s always needed.”

“I…” Kaidan takes his time washing the last tray left on the pile as he processes her words, leaving it next to the others before turning around to look at his friend. “You really think that?”

“Yes.” She smiles and grabs him gently by the arm, mimicking the gesture that Kaidan used a few minutes ago to comfort her. “Yes I do.”

“I… Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“No, really… Thank you.” Kaidan insists. “That… That you think that, well… Means way more than a thousand apologies.”

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Boom! Who thought I'd ever write such a lovely friendship moment between these two? Because I didn't XDDDD I'm glad to have adressed this in my fic... And I'm also excited for the next one (Vega and Garrus are back in the roster babyyyyy ehehehehe) Feeling very proud of this one when it comes to my writing btw... Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. Have a nice day <3 <3

[mass-effect-a-companions-react]

I'm sorry, by that I meant coming back from the dead as evil.

‘who the hell is shepard?’ so dramatic. i love it. og normandy companions as requested.  –mod astra

Garrus is genuinely confused when they don’t seem to recognize him calling out to them–they don’t even seem to recognize themselves. Feelings of betrayal are definitely there. This is someone he believed in, someone who finally seemed ready to clean up the galaxy, and now all the sudden they’re pulling a complete 180? It’s not right, and it’s not them, and he’s going to do something about it. His friend, the person he trusted and who took a chance and trusted him, they’re still in there. And he’s going to drag them back, even if it kills him. 

Tali’s heart breaks for them. Obviously, she’s concerned for her own safety and for the safety of her crew, and she’s well aware that Shepard is dangerous. But the fact that they’ve been forced into the role of a living weapon kills her a little inside. She can’t really ignore all her other responsibilities to search for them, but she’ll spend every single bit of free time she has devoted to finding them or, once she has, trying to help them through the process of coming back to the crew. She’s not sure that they’ll be fit to lead like they once did, but that’s more than okay with her, and she’ll ensure that they know that too. 

Ashley is filled with righteous anger. Not at Shepard, not really, more at what’s been done to them. Because it was Shepard, physically, that flesh is definitely theirs. But inside? That was something else completely. She’s looking at a shell of her former friend, and she knows Shepard–the only way they’d ever react like that was if some serious damage had been done. She’s not entirely sure she can bring them back, but she’s going to try. And if she can’t? Whoever’s responsible is going to regret ever even getting the idea to put their hands on Shepard. 

Kaiden is trained to fire back–that’s what you do in response to a threat, right? As soon as the recognition sets in, he’s never been more glad that his shot missed. It’s immediately replaced with concern, though. That is Shepard, he’d recognize them anywhere–just what happened to them to cause all of… this? They’re still a threat, of course. His friend is essentially a cybernetic super soldier at this point, and at some point they’ll need to be taken down. He desperately wants it to go peacefully, to get the commander back and help them, but if it comes down to it and they can’t be saved, he knows what the old Shepard would tell him to do. 

Liara can barely process what’s happened. Obviously, that’s Shepard. Shepard, whom she trusts, just tried to put a few shots through her head. And they looked at her like they didn’t recognize her one bit. Well, that’d explain the gun, anyway. It doesn’t take her long after that to figure out what that was, though. And with the reach of her information, it also doesn’t take her long to figure out just who’s behind it. They’re insignificant, and very, very dead. Liara would track down the missing and brainwashed commander. If she can’t help them back to the way they were before, she’ll do her best to be someone they can lean on once they start to get their memory back and the trauma sets in. 

Wrex stuffs down the initial surprise, deep down to where he won’t be able to think about it until after. It’s them, sure but at the same time it isn’t. And that’s a lot to take in, even after all the years he’s been alive, he’s never seen anything like this before. A part of him wants to drag them back, see if he can somehow bring them to become the person he remembers so fondly. But realistically, he’s pretty sure that they might have to be put down in a less-than-pleasant way. If it’s up to him, he’ll make it as quick as possible, and maek sure that they’re remembered for the great person they were, not what they were forced to turn into. 

[kestrelsansjesses]

Another Life

‘

[This is written for the very last day of @vorchagirl and @cactuarkitty ‘s ME Relationship week! The prompt is ‘alternate universe’ and since I’m turian trash, I went with ‘what if Nihlus lived?’ Under a cut due to length- let me know what you think!] 

It started, as many things do, with an exchanging of looks from across the Normandy, Nihlus’ openly curious, Shepard’s just short of hostile. She couldn’t believe (in fact, she was completely unwilling to even entertain the possibility) that a Council Spectre could be there for anything other than something nefarious. Stealth systems- right. As state of the art as the Normandy was, it didn’t warrant this degree of examination, and it didn’t need to be seen out on a mission when it could just as easily be shown going through the paces around the Citadel.

As it turned out, Shepard wasn’t completely wrong, though it was made all the more galling by the glaring facts she had gotten incorrect. Her? A Spectre? When Nihlus spoke to her, the naked admiration was plain in his voice; he said he admired her will to live through the impossible, how calm she had been under pressure at Akuze. Left dazed, her head was barely in the mission at Eden Prime until shit hit the fan, as it always seemed to do, and suddenly there was no time to think of any possible promotions. Nihlus was somewhere ahead of her, and she had to catch up to him.

Every step she took seemed to be slightly too slow; by the time she had found him, it looked like it might be too late. He was bleeding- a shot to the head, generally fatal, Saren long gone and only a terrified dockworker to tell her what had happened. Kaidan knelt by the fallen turian, and then shouted up to her, “Shepard, he still has a pulse. Faint, but it’s there.” Somehow, the lucky bastard had lived through it all.

***

He lay in a coma in the Normandy’s medbay for some time, only waking up as they were headed back to the Council, entering the safe space around the Citadel. “Where…” Nihlus’ voice was faint, and he coughed as he tried to move, reaching a hand up to his swaddled head, rubbing it as if he could get rid of pain so easily.

“Normandy. You got a shot in the head. Do you remember what happened?” They heard it was Saren, but hearsay wouldn’t be enough to convince the Council to move openly against one of their best agents.

Nihlus shook his head. “I remember heading towards the rendezvous point, and then nothing.” And hearsay was all they were going to have. “You saved me.” Wonder in his voice, a hint of awe and… something more, something Shepard shoved in the back of her mind and kept there, not allowing herself to think on any alternatives.

“Probably.” Shepard shrugged, not wanting to have this conversation right now. She had to prepare for what she would tell the Council, her head too full of shattered visions from the Prothean beacon. Someone would fill Nihlus in later, but it wouldn’t be her. “I have to go. You’re confined to our medbay for at least another three days. Try and rest up.” And that was that; she didn’t wait for an answer before getting up and leaving, feeling like the tips of her ears and top of her cheekbones might be slightly pink even just thinking back on how he had just looked at her- like she might possibly be everything.

***

Spectre Shepard. It had a nice ring to it, even if it didn’t come clear of Council bullshit. You couldn’t win them all. Said Council bullshit (part of her mind was glad, but she viciously told that part of her mind to shut up) included having Nihlus Kryik onboard the Normandy as a more permanent traveling companion. “Provisionary, of course,” they added. “He isn’t up to his full speed and can’t fully mentor you, but you can give advice.” He had just regained the ability to walk and wouldn’t be joining Shepard in the field any time soon, but he was there none the less, chafing at his inability to follow her. She understood that, at least. Physical therapy was a slow process, but no one was better equipped than Dr. Chakwas.

Every mission, even the minor ones, ended up debriefing with Nihlus. After the first few times, she felt herself relaxing. It felt natural to give him more information than was strictly needed- her feelings about what had happened, her frustrations when things went wrong or didn’t go according to plan, even how she felt about her crewmates, how they were steadily growing closer.

“It looks like you can hold a gun again.” The left side of Nihlus’ body was still weaker than the right, but he could make a fist, hold a gun for a prolonged period of time. He could walk, was working on jogging in place, doing turian military stretches that Shepard found herself watching for far too long. He caught her once and just smiled at her, saying nothing. 

“Getting there, but not fast enough, Shepard.” He cast it aside in frustration, unfolding his lanky frame and pacing, relishing the feeling of being able to do that much, long legs eating up the limited floor space of the Normandy. Once again, it was impossible not to watch, even to admire- hold it together, Shepard. He’s your mentor. Sort of.

“You’re lucky your head stayed in place, Nihlus. Don’t strain it. Don’t want to scar anymore of your pretty face.” Oh shit. She had just said it, and though Shepard kept her tone flippant, she was suddenly very busy with her omni-tool, looking down with determination, biting her lip.

“Turian women go crazy for scars. Unfortunately, so do krogan.” Grimacing almost theatrically, Shepard laughed before she could stop herself, a full-bodied, unexpected burst of sound that made Nihlus laugh in turn, until they were both done, silence hanging in the air. 

“I… should go. Later, Nihlus.” Missions to prepare for. Things to do. Same, old.

 *** 

By the time they were due to arrive at Noveria, Nihlus was well enough to follow Shepard into the field, though Chakwas had given her a full list of signs to watch out for, and she was cautioned not to overexert him- warnings she more than happily shared with Nihlus, who could only shake his head. “I’ll play it safe, Shepard.” It was the worst lie she had ever heard.

Still, it felt good to have him at her back, even in the cold austerity of Noveria’s main trading hub, as of yet untouched by the trouble with geth they were having elsewhere on the planet, and it felt even better to be out in the field with him, standing back to back, shooting down waves of enemies until she was exhilarated and exhausted at once, panting hard but nowhere near giving up.

“How’s it feel to be back, Nihlus?” she shouted at him at one point.

“Pretty damn good, Shepard.”

Though they operated under her orders, they also worked well as a team. Strictly speaking, Nihlus wasn’t under her command- he worked for the Council and as a Spectre first, but part of that was agreeing to listen to her when they were out in the field. Keeping in mind Chakwas’ medical advice, Shepard ordered him to hang back when things got really hairy, and he listened- to a point. 

As they left the mako to take a geth juggernaut unit on foot, Nihlus dashed ahead suddenly. “Nihlus! I had orders!” And then his body shoved into hers, knocking Shepard back into the soft powder, a thankfully fresh snow drift taking most of the brunt of the fall.

Looking up, she saw a rocket hit Nihlus, the crackle of energy as his shield dissolved and the thud as his body was rocketed back a few dozen feet, hitting a wall, after which he didn’t move for a series of long heartbeats, her breath caught in her throat. No time to waste on inaction though; that wasn’t the way Shepard operated. She and Liara could handle the geth, dispatching it with, if not ease, at least not a total struggle.

“We’re even now.” Nihlus was sitting up, groaning but actually awake, alive, waving off her concerns. “Winded. Fine. Shield and armor took a beating.” His body too- there would be bruises, even through his toughened turian skin, but nothing he hadn’t faced before.

“That was reckless.” Sitting back on her heels, Shepard removed her helmet, needing to feel fresh air, the freeze good on her skin. “I guess I owe you a drink.” A spontaneous idea; standing, she offered Nihlus a hand to help him up. He took it and held it one beat, and then two, before letting it go.

He rubbed out his own shoulders, checking over his armor. “Strictly Spectre business?” Nothing obvious, though the chest was weakened.

Pulling Nihlus forward and his head down so his lips met hers, adrenaline leaving her body in a swoop, Shepard nodded as she broke away. “Strictly.”

[avelera]

Some quick and dirty thoughts about finishing Mass Effect 3 (under a cut because, I dunno, I just finished the game, maybe someone else hasn’t yet too even after like 5 years)

--

- Given that it took me 3 tries to figure out how the ending works, I can understand people’s frustration if they got the wrong one. BUT, I did eventually kill all the DAMN REAPERS (FUCK YEAH) and EDI (*sob*)

- I was pretty broken up about EDI’s death and also all the effort I went through to reconcile the Geth and Tali’s people but honestly I was WAY more broken up about my Shepard being dead so.... sorry EDI (and Legion’s memory). I really wish there was a version where I could keep everyone alive but I guess consequences or something something are important *grumbles*. 

- I definitely had to go check out the “Indoctrination ending theory” when I finished playing (ie, that Shep was indoctrinated the whole time and any ending that doesn’t involve killing the Reapers is a defeat because they took Shep over and tricked them into letting the Reapers win) and I gotta say... it makes a ton of sense, and makes me all the more glad my Shep “canonically” wiped those motherfuckers out. 

- Oddly, the ending reminds me a bit of Sailor Moon’s manga where you must choose endless war or subversion into a larger peaceful consciousness, funny how those themes replay. Oh, and of course it reminds me of Babylon 5 too. 

- That being said, I haven’t quite figured out yet what the “best” ending is? I can see an argument for the Synthesis ending being the happiest, even above killing the Reapers, because EDI and Joker look SO happy together on the one hand, and it really does seem like a truly lasting era of peace and understanding is achieved, more so than by wiping out all the Reapers.

- BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, I’m still super skeeved out by all the logic that brings any sort of Synthesis ending about, that little kid was creepy as fuck and was clearly messing with you and lying and just... super inconsistent with everything you had ever known up to that poiunt. We’ve seen NOTHING BUT dialogue about how evil these guys are, and then suddenly it’s like “Oh yeah, join with us, it’ll be fine.”???? Even EDI’s hug when they’re remembering Shep in the Synthesis ending has... I dunno, a little *smirk* that she gives which freaked me out. Like I love EDI but I definitely got a “Matrix” feeling like all organic life is now enslaved through Synthesis, how different is this from being a husk really? Just the possibility that the peaceful ending of  the Synthesis is a trick so the Reapers can win makes my hair stand on end. Sorry Joker, I really think the Reapers needed to go, even if it’s BS that you lost our GF too. 

- Once I finagled my ending though... I gotta there were some truly beautiful and epic moments in ME3. I really *felt* like I was saving the world, I felt so empowered with my female Shepard and I was sweating bullets through the final levels and got teary and emotional more than once. The emotional impact is so strong in that game that the designers really should congratulate themselves, it’s a shame they got so much flack for the last few seconds, but I can kinda sympathize with both sides and I’m glad I only played it after the Extended Cut DLC came out.

- Seriously, that SOUNDTRACK, brrrrr *full body shivers of goodness*

- Overall the thing that made the game hardest for me to replay is just that the combat is kinda dull, it’s just room to room fighting over and over (across various repurposed multiplayer maps) and after a while I got bored, unlike with the combat in ME2 (which I’m tempted to play again). 

- Also the military rating percentage needed to let Shepard live stressed me the fuck out, like I get that you’re trying to build an army, but I REALLY HATE that percentage-based completionist stuff and I would have enjoyed the game so much more without it. In ME2, I knew a lack of completionism meant I might lose a companion or a tiny detail, but I was at peace with it because it felt organic to the experience of “my” Shepard. (Sure we lost Zaeed, which sucks, but my Shep didn’t really like him that much and also if we didn’t rush we were going to lose my crew mates so I didn’t have TIME to do his personal quest?). Anyway, I would have preferred to have all endings automatically on the table and have it be more organic what things are missing at the end based on your companions and their storylines, not based on some abstract military force number. 

- I finished the Garrus romance, and I definitely enjoyed it. Part of me is still a a little curious to finish the Liara romance because I loved her a lot too in ME1, the problem is I REALLY like having my love interest in the party and, yeah, it’s basically just Garrus or Tali in that instance if you don’t want them to vanish in ME3, or fuck off in ME2 the way Liara and Kaidan/Ashley do  (and boy did Kaidan’s attitude piss me RIGHT the fuck off, also his bizarre “But we flirted that one time!” in ME3 when I was like... bitch no, I was ZEROED IN on my sweet darling blue alien girlfriend who the fuck were YOU talking to? That being said, no hate for the character of Kaidan, just felt he wasn’t for me.)

- So I kinda want to read some happy ending fic because even if I didn’t have the awful ME3 experience so many people warned about I could use just a LITTLE BIT more happy ending and like... some pictures of Garrus and Shep and their adopted family, seriously Bioware, would that have been too much to ask for a couple cute domestic shots after ALL THE TROUBLE I went through for that little gasp of air from my Shep at the end?

[meggannn]

I need to talk about N7s

because my brain has been whirring since I read this reddit post, and I have some thoughts I need to blab about

((spoilers for the MEA prologue))

OP on Reddit essentially says that watching Alec Ryder in action puts Shepard’s capabilities as a soldier into greater context within the ME universe, and I’m kind of buzzing at this realization. I’m paraphrasing here, but when you play as Scott or Sara in the prologue, you’re running around trying to find your team, trying not to get killed by a new mysterious alien race, trying not to fall off cliffs or get struck by lightening, trying to figure out this weird technology, doing your best to stay alive while figuring out what’s going on. you’re young, you’re doing your best, you were trained for exploration and less so high-risk missions, but you’re doing your best with the skills you have.

then you meet up with Cora, and follow Alec’s NavPoint -- noticing the trail of dead kett bodies along the way, your dad’s been busy -- and meet up with him, only to find that not only has he found the kett’s stronghold, but he has an idea how to get them all out of here.

“the weather is the problem, so we’re fixing the weather,” says Alec Ryder.

“...what the fuck?” says everyone else.

but Ryder Sr. doesn’t answer; he goes blazing down the path up into the base, vaulting over barriers, yelling at you to keep up while you struggle to pick off the kett that’ve turned their attention toward you.

OP says basically, this must be what Shepard’s companions felt... probably at like any given time. especially all those times when Shepard comes up with some wild idea to fix an impossible problem. (”let’s summon the mother of all thresher maws to take down that Reaper!” “I’ll run around on foot with a targeting laser to distract the reaper while your men take it out!” “guys, keep an eye on me while I hook my brain up to the geth server!” “Liara, take out the yahg while I punch it in the face!”) playing as Shepard in the OT, these ideas make sense to us. we never question it because we’re in Shepard’s shoes and Shepard’s convinced it’s the only way to solve the problem.

the MEA prologue shows us what happens when the plan has consequences: Alec’s helmet survives intact -- N7 gear, I imagine -- but Ryder’s standard-issue initiative helmet doesn’t. Alec sacrifices himself to save his kid because their gear is broken. Shepard travels the length of the Normandy Sr-1 and dies saving the ship’s pilot because he can’t walk to the exit himself in time.

so it feels bittersweet to be playing Ryder Jr., not just because you just watched your dad die when he could have lived -- it’s like playing Joker immediately after the SR-1’s destruction. we literally play the character who’s been passed the torch from an N7, on a narrative scale (Alec) and a metaphorical scale (Shepard). Shepard and Alec Ryder were by far the more valued soldiers than Joker or Scott or Sara -- they do impossible things, they’re the Alliance/the Council’s last lines of defense, but in the heat of the moment, they will always be the last one on the evac shuttle after making sure everyone is safe, and they save a crewmember’s life at the cost of their own.

and it’s not just them; Anderson fights tooth and nail to get him and Shepard through the Reapers to the Normandy in the ME3 prologue, and then you find out he did it just for Shepard, because Shepard’s been locked up for six months and might be out of practice in a fight, and he’s not coming with. he’s going to stay and fight the Reapers on Earth where he know he’ll most likely die.

of the main N7 graduates we know (Shepard, Alec Ryder, David Anderson, Kai Leng), three are protagonists and Leng is the only villain, dishonorably discharged for murdering a krogan without cause while on leave (interestingly, the same year he graduated the ICT, in 2176). Alec Ryder was also dishonorably discharged for his experimentation on AIs, yet he still continues to wear the N7 and Leng doesn’t. I have two theories: either the N7 is a rank you earned and get to wear no matter your status in the Alliance (meaning Ryder is still allowed to wear it post-discharge and Leng just chooses not to, or Leng’s offense was bad enough to strip him of the rank and Alec’s wasn’t), or, once you’re expelled from the Alliance, you lose the ability to wear your former rank along with your title, and Ryder wears it in MEA because he’s still proud of being an N7 and there is no Alliance in Andromeda to get in trouble with. either way, there’s something powerful about the N7 symbol that compels Alec to carry it across with him all the way to another galaxy. as far as we know, he’s the only N7 who came to Andromeda, and apparently he’s going to be the last.

I’ve always found it interesting that Anderson, also an ICT graduate, doesn’t wear the rank even as an Admiral in the field in ME3. and Shepard wears it everywhere. I take this to mean you’re allowed to wear it, but you don’t have to; I also take it to mean being an N7 is not just important to Shepard, it’s how they want others to see them when they walk into a room. personally I’d wager it means more to Shepard than being a Spectre. after all, Shepard’s experiences with Spectres have been largely corrupt: within two years, they took down two compromised Spectres (Saren and Tela Vasir, tho Saren was indoctrinated so it wasn’t exactly his fault), more than most agents in a lifetime. I like to hope post-war, Shepard establishes a better relationship with other Spectres like Jondum Bau, though, because clearly they can’t all be corrupt -- but my point is that I think Shepard sees Spectrehood as a representation of one’s ability to get a job done, any job, and N7 as a representation of capability and adaptability, and of moral integrity. whatever they teach you at the Villa, it teaches you to value life other than your own; it sticks with you for the rest of your career. if you’re a corrupt N7, the Alliance will boot you, and you may have won the badge, but you don’t get to call yourself an Alliance soldier anymore. if you’re a corrupt Spectre, the Council will make turn a blind eye and whisper to another Spectre to clean up the mess.

we don’t actually know the specifics of what ICT training consists of -- I’ve read the wiki and tons of theories just out of curiosity to get a better context for Shepard’s background, but I have a feeling the Alliance keeps it under wraps specifically so initiates can’t prepare for it. still, it makes me wonder now after meeting Alec and analyzing this through the lens of Shepard’s history. we’ll never know what happens at the Villa, but those levels of training must be one hell of a thing. I once read on a tumblr post someone said “Shepard may not have a formal education, but they went to school.”

so knowing all this, maybe it’s no wonder former Alliance NPCs will get mad if Ryder Jr. wears N7 armor around Andromeda. Ryder didn’t earn it.

[siirensung]

painful drabble for @acuratio that they did not ask for 

                    Cataclysmic thunder roars overhead, shaking the skies with the deafening sound of the reaper’s siren. It blares its way through the sound waves, drowning out any other audio as it runs. When it fades away, the song of war returns ━ the snarling husks, the repeated gunfire, the scream of each ally shot down into the mud. If there’s Hell on Earth, this is it. Commander Shepard has been in more Hells than any person should and always emerged from the other side. But nothing like this. This is a new layer of the inferno. This is one without a tunnel in the distance.

                   THEY NEED TO GET TO THE CONDUIT. SHE NEEDS TO GET TO THE CONDUIT.

                    The reaper’s aim is true as its laser cuts a clean path through the battlefield, upturning the ground mako and sending it into their path. It’s only by the end of a hair that they manage to dodge its strike. The ground shakes as the tank lands and Shepard’s heart drops into her stomach for the fraction of a second before she sees her companion crawl out of the way. Downed, but alive. Even through the smoke and dust, she can see the familiar glean of blue armor and a scarred fringe. She scrapes paint of her armor’s knees as she slides before her companions, pulling Garrus’ arm around her shoulders.

                    She can feel him clinging to her, crushed to his side as she calls for an evac. As if he knows. ( Of course he knows. ) Even as she helps carry him to the shuttle, half her body remains angled away, facing toward the conduit. She can feel familiar talons clinging to her pauldron, as if he can sense her thoughts simply by the shift of her body.

                    “ HERE, TAKE HIM. ”

                    “ SHEPARD ━ ”

                    “ YOU’VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE. ”

                    “ NO ━ NO, NO, NO, MIKO. ”

                    She can’t force her eyes away, his talons still digging into her armor. Her heart pounds and she’s unsure whether its hers... or his. In the painful twist of her heart, she remembers them a few nights ago. How he held her, touched her, guarded her, promised to her. She had not fully appreciated the sheer intimacy of turian mating until it happened, until he came so achingly close that she wondered if they would ever truly separate again. Closer than love, closer than marriage, their hearts beat for each other. Together.

                    And now, she can feel them breaking.

                    The talons keeping a fierce grasp on her yank her closer into his wounded body, half bowing over her. Perhaps if he can completely cover her, shield her from the hell beyond the entrance of the shuttle, he can protect her.

                    “ Garrus ━ ”

                    “ No ━ ”

                    “ Garrus ━ ”

                    “ NO! ”

                    She can feel him tremble, his powerful body too much for her alone to contain. On the battlefield, she is steel, but she can’t help but feel herself melting. She tries to catch his attention through his refusal, lifts her hands to cradle his face.

                    “ Garrus, I’ll be back ━ I promise, I’ll come back to you, I promise. ”

                    “ You can’t, you won’t, I can’t ━ MIKO, without you, I can’t ━  ”

                    Liara tries to pull at the turian’s arm and, finding little success, reinforces her efforts with the strength of her biotics. His claws scratch the unyielding metal of Shepard’s armor as he tries to snatch her back, small eyes wide and frantic with the panic of his mate falling from his grasp. Shepard almost follows to where he is dragged, her heart pressing painfully through the front of her chest to accompany him, but she can’t.

                    “ I love you, Garrus ━ I’ll be back, you have to keep going. ” But she wonders if her words can even be heard over his panic, his aggressive straining against the unyielding pull of biotic force. Finally, Shepard has to step off the shuttle, shout at Cortez to take off, and she runs. She runs through the battlefield, the sounds of war, the reaper’s sirens.

                    But above all the noise, she can hear the screeching calls of her mate, reaching for her, as though his own body is being torn apart. As she leaps into the light of the conduit, she has one thought.

                    She has to get back to him.

[gv-archangel]

Time: A Mini Shepard and Garrus Fic

In honor of the wonderful little Mass Effect Relationship week I stumbled across, I decided to do a little mini fic that was a slight break from my usual stuff. I’ll probably repost it elsewhere soon, but it’s fine here for now.

Synopsis: Time can change a lot, whether you’re alive to acknowledge it or not. It can heal just as many wounds as it causes. But regardless of the changes, weathering them with a friend always makes it more bearable.

           “I’ll be damned,” Garrus chuckles, emerging from the main battery. He rubs his eyes to make sure the drowsiness isn’t affecting his sight. A few months ago, he would’ve assumed he was dreaming or losing it again. But not tonight.

           The dead Commander Shepard sits on the mess table like the ghost he is. He’s almost a perfect image of what he was two years ago: sitting on an uncomfortable perch, guitar in his lap, fingers picking at its metal strings. The glowing cybernetics in his skin and missing scars are the only details that show how long he’s been gone. It was like looking at an old photograph you had almost forgotten about.  

           The Turian slinks back into the shadow, observing the show. Aaron’s playing the instrument with more frustration than usual. He strums for a few seconds, then stops to look at the datapad next to him, getting more irritated with each pause. If there was one thing he never did, it was struggle with the guitar. Not unless something was bothering him.

           “But at a red light, in the sunshine, on a Sunday. Nothing to say, don’t even try…” That line seems to be what holds him up. On the last word, the strums are different from the rest. He can’t make that jump. His singing is off too. Not that he ever sounded great, but it’s worse than usual.

           The aching Turian walks into the light of the mess. “And I thought I kept odd hours,” he says to announce himself.

           Shepard looks over, then smiles. “Only time I can get some peace and quiet. What are you doing up?”

           “Chakwas is getting on to me about changing my bandages. Thought that and some painkillers would help me sleep.”

           “Horizon got to you too, huh?” Aaron asks somberly. He stretches his arms and readjusts the guitar in his lap. The small smile he had is already gone.

           Garrus sighs. “About as much as everything else.”

           The Commander takes a sip from his coffee mug, while Vakarian itches at his face. A few seconds of silence stand between them, until Shepard asks, “Hey, you got a minute?”

           “Had a feeling you’d want to talk,” the Turian admits. “Let me change this first. I’ll be back in a minute.”

           “Not going anywhere.”

           It only takes a minute for the wounded veteran to apply a fresh bandage to his wounds in the empty Med-Bay. He has the process down to a science after three weeks of dealing with it: peel the old rag off quick, drown half of his face in disinfectant, then apply a clean bandage. It’s still tender when it meets air, but it stopped burning a few days ago. He needs painkillers to sleep with it, though. He lays on that side in his sleep, and the pressure is enough to keep him up. A dose of the meds slides into his pocket before he returns to the mess.

           Shepard doesn’t acknowledge the Turian’s return, still trying to make the strings bend to his will. He’s relaxed a little, and the music seems to come a little easier. “Or something about this beautiful day” he sings in his rough, tone deaf voice. “She just looked me in the eye, said it’s over. Didn’t try to lie, or pick a fight. I might’ve seen coming that way… But at a red light, in the sunshine, on a Sunday. Nothing to say, don’t even try…”

           “Figures,” Garrus laughs aloud.

           Aaron stops strumming and looks to his friend with a sarcastic smile. “Can I help you with something, Vakarian?”

           “I’m in no position to be giving out music advice,” Garrus smirks back. “Or dating.”

           “Shut the Hell up.” The Commander slugs his companion in his good shoulder, giving them both a good laugh.

           For a few seconds, Garrus manages to forget what’s been keeping been him awake. As much as he hates human music, this takes him back. Back to when Saren was the only thing they had to worry about, and their group was still together. When he knew a scarred Krogan had his six covered, and a Quarian made sure the Geth defenses fought for them. Back when a day ended with unlikely friends talking over drinks and music.

           “I missed this,” Vakarian admits. “We could use some normalcy around here.”

           “Doesn’t feel quite right without Tali, Liara, and Ash, but I know what you mean. Kinda glad they’re not here, though: Liara wouldn’t let me hear the end of how bad I am.” Shepard makes a few slow fists with his hands. He stares at them intently, like they belong on someone else.

           “You give yourself too much credit. You were always terrible.” Vakarian flashes a smile to shake his friend loose from whatever fog is in his head.

           It seems to work. Shepard chuckles, then goes back to plucking the strings. It doesn’t seem to be any particular song this time, only random chords. “I keep telling myself I just need a little more time. ‘It’ll come back, it always does.’ Figured maybe it’s my new cabin. Thought if I played down here like I used to, it’d help. Besides, less of a walk for tea.”

           “Maybe we can get Jack in here, let her judge you. You perform better with an audience.”

           “Or Mordin, if we can get him to sit down for ten seconds. Holy Hell, he is something else,” Aaron laughs. “Remind me to pick up some caffeine next stop. I want to see him break the sound barrier after a few energy drinks.”

           Neither one of them talk again for a few seconds. Quiet doesn’t bother Garrus, not with Shepard. It just means they didn’t have anything else to say yet. Knowing the other is there is usually enough. There was something comforting in having someone you trust at your side. Especially if you were used to covering each other under fire.

           “Can I ask you something, Garrus?” Shepard asks quietly. His fingers keep moving along the metal on their own, his eyes unfocused on something only he can see.

           Vakarian just nods.

           The Commander stays in his mental fog, still playing. “What did you do those two years I was gone? Real details. Walk me through it, please.”

           Nerves pick at the Turian. There was a lot that happened, a lot he doesn’t want to think about. A few toasts to his lost friend when he was plastered in random bars, the fights he got into with his superiors, Omega. There were some things you left as far in your past as possible, if only for your own sanity. Unless you owed it to someone.

           “We got picked up by the Alliance the day after, taken back to the Citadel for a debrief,” he recounts while walking over to the kitchen. Something to drink sounds good. Something warm, to keep him up. “Took two weeks for them to accept what happened and let us go. I stayed on the Citadel, while the others went home. I tried to help with the damage: policing the areas still intact, leading raids on looters’ stashes, giving Doctor Michelle a hand when I could. That lasted about eight months before I got fed up with C-Sec and their damned red tape. Even when I found a family’s pictures in their stolen bags, some lawyer would show up and make us give it right back to the thief. A Reaper crashing into the damned Citadel wasn’t enough to make them fix anything…”

           Garrus realizes just how loud he’s gotten, and how tight he’s holding his cup. He forces himself to relax with a low sigh. The mug shows no damage, fortunately. “I spent four, no, five months looking for somewhere I could do some good. Palaven was a bust, so were the two other colonies I stayed with. Pirates tried to raid the last one, but the local militia and I took care of them. We looked through their equipment, found logs about Omega and the hellhole it was. I figured if there was a place I could deal with as many of them as I could, it was there. Gave the security some last pointers, packed my bags, and hired the first shuttle I could find.

“I don’t think I left the station that last year, not until you showed up. My first three months were recon, scouting out the food chain and weak points. Then I started hitting them where it hurt, baiting goons into kill zones I picked, away from their friends or civilians. Eventually, Sensat tracked me to my apartment and asked if I wanted some help. Then Monteague and Mierin showed up on my doorstep, armed and ready. Next thing I knew, there were a dozen of us nipping at the heels of the Blue Suns and Blood Pack from a real base… And you know how that ended.”

           There’s no visible reaction on Shepard’s face as he continues to stare. Garrus sits beside him again, sipping at his mug. Graxen would go great now, but there’s none in the pantry.

           “Did you ever find anyone?” Shepard asks in the same numb tone as the first question. “Date or anything.”

           Vakarian shakes his head. “I wasn’t great boyfriend material for a while. Angry at C-Sec, the Alliance for what they did to you, basically everything. After that, it never crossed my mind. Think Melenis had a thing for me, but I never gave her enough attention.”

           Aaron’s fingers finally stop playing with the guitar, and he closes his eyes. “Did you… ever forget about me?”

           “Did you listen to anything I said?” Garrus scoffs, borderline offended. “I followed what you did to the letter. I tried to help on the Citadel. When that didn’t work, I went somewhere I could. It didn’t matter if I was getting support not: I made sure those pirates paid for what they did. And when people started joining me, I made them into the best team I could. We helped more people on Omega than I ever did at C-Sec. I followed your example as best I could. So no, I didn’t forget you.”

           Shepard’s head hangs low as he sighs. He bites the inside of his lip quietly, never making a sound. “I’m sorry,” the Turian immediately apologizes.

           Shepard mutters, “It’s not you, Garrus. Have you, have you ever fallen asleep by accident? Just leaned back in a chair and took a nap without even realizing it?”

           Vakarian nods, not sure where this is going. “Once or twice.”

           “Imagine that. Imagine closing your eyes for what feels like a few seconds, then waking up years later. Someone tells you, ‘Hey, it’s been two years, and your friends are gone. They picked up and moved on. Some of them you broke and are going to spend their lives trying to live up to some ridiculous precedent you set, while the others are going to forget everything about you. What you liked, what scared you, who you hated.’ And you keep getting these little reminders it’s all real, like missing scars and fingers that can’t play anymore. But you just can’t get your head to accept that your nap was freaking years.” Never once does he open his eyes or look up from the floor. His face gets red with anger, but he never sees his companion.

           The Turian puts his arm over his friend’s shoulder. Not a hug, just a squeeze to remind him he’s there. Aaron rubs his hands over his face, breathing shakily. A minute, or maybe five, pass like that in near silence. The Commander never cries, and his friend never leaves his side.

           “Ash finally made it all sink in,” he mutters through his hands. “You acted like not a damn thing happened, joined right back up for a trip to Hell. Tali, busy as she is, wanted to. Joker and Chakwas are all onboard like it was last week… And then Ash forgets everything we went through. Like all this time I can’t remember made me a traitor.”

           “Well…” Garrus says, stuttering and improvising. “Screw her. If she won’t even let you explain, she doesn’t deserve to be a part of this team, or your friend. It doesn’t matter you were dead. You’re still Commander Aaron Shepard, still blowing the heads off bastards that have it coming and recruiting the most dangerous batch of freaks in the galaxy. That’s enough for me, Joker, Tali, everyone else. Screw her if it’s not.”

           Shepard chuckles a little, shaking his head. “That simple, huh?” He’s trying to smile again, with a bit of success.

           “She chose not to trust you. So yes, it’s that simple.”

           The Commander leans back and laughs. Loud and manic enough to wake up half of the ship, but a real laugh. And the grin on his face is genuine. “Guess it is. Guess it freaking is… Damn, when’d I become so emotional?”

           “Depends on who you ask,” Garrus chuckles, patting his friend’s back. “Should we get Wrex’s opinion?”

           Shepard just laughs. He starts to pick at his guitar again. There’s focus to it, something in his head driving him to play this time. “I guess I owe you one, don’t I?”

           “I’m not sure it makes up for the seven I owe you for Omega,” the Turian smirks. “You good?”

           He nods. “Work in progress. Better, at least. I’ll let you know when I realize how screwed we are with the Collectors.”

           “They killed you once and all it did was piss you off. What more can they do?”

           “We’ll tell them the same thing I’m telling Ash: screw you.”

           “And I’ll be right there to take the kill shot, just like old times.”

           The room becomes quiet again, save the guitar strings. Neither of them say anything as Shepard scrolls through his datapad, looking through his list of songs. He finds one and read the notes. To Garrus, it may as well be another language, but he has an idea of what he’s looking at. Shepard adjusts the nobs at the end of his instrument and picks until they sound right to him. He taps his foot to set the pace, then starts to play again.

           “Sometimes it’s one thing, and next time it’s nothing. It’s more than mistrusting, it ends up just crushing me. Stop with the fighting, I know it’s the right thing. I won’t let you do this, we have to get through this.

           “So say something, I’m not holding back. Before the scene we made goes and fades to black. Cause I can’t wait while you think this through. We don’t have endless time, remember who left who. Cause I won’t wait, won’t wait for you.”

           Even through the tone-deaf singing voice and foreign instrument, Garrus finds himself nodding to the song. He doesn’t need to sleep anyway. A little music therapy will do them both some good. More so than medicated, restless sleep.