#you can tell me the geth and EDI and Legion are dead

[agirlking]

"What happened to everyone you know and love in the games? Who really died? Who had kids with whom? What does a baby volus sound like? What about all the galaxies? The endings! What the heck is going on with our asari scientist-turned-Shadowbroker? What about S— nevermind...you get the idea. And of course, to those questions, there are answers"

I still cannot believe this is a real quote. No, I don't want to know who "really" died and who "really had kids with whom" and what ending is "really canon." What the hell is the point of an RPG if you're just going to tell me what did or did not happen? What is Mike Gamble on?

[x-bluefire-heart-x]

Shepard Lost in Space

So this is just something that has been playing around in my head since I watched Lost in Space for the first time. It's a Mass Effect Crossover, with female Shepard who is based off of one of my playthroughs. I won't be delving too much into Mass Effect Lore but if anyone isn't overly familiar I would be happy to explain. A few things are going to be messed around time line wise with Mass Effect and the I will be adjusting the lore anyway, such as Geth being able to communicate without a Comm Link and that the colonists who were heading to the same galaxy that the Robinson's were existed. Cause I forgot that in the History of Mass Effect colonists tried to get to Alpha Centauri when started writing this (This is important for Chapter 2).

I will attempt to not change too much with Lost in Space but I will probably fiddle a little with it as I go. This will be a slow burn romance, with Shepard ending up with John and Maureen, but it will be slow burn.

Warnings: Swearing, angst (I think that is it for this chapter.

Master List:

Prompt List

The Unknown

“That is not good,” Shepard whispered, eyes on her omni-tool before they slowly raised up to stare at the body of the Reaper. “Legion! We need to move; this Reaper is not full deactivated!”

“Shepard-Commander this device is not technology that We recognise,” Legion was walking slowly towards the Kodiak, the strange egg shaped device held in his hands. His head was tilted in a manner that had he been human Shepard would have taken it be an expression of confusion. Though since they had rescued Legion the Geth had been acting more and more human.

“You can tell me all about it after we get away from the Reaper that appears to be waking up,” Shepard ordered. “Now move your arse!” She saw Legion raise his head before he started walking quicker before she turned away from the doorway.

Shepard flung herself into the pilot seat, quickly switching on the engines getting the shuttle ready for take-off. Her green eyes with red hues watched the body of the Reaper for any signs of movement. Her omni-tool showing an increase in the heat signature, as the machine slowly turned back on.

“Legion-”

“You may depart, Shepard-Commander,” Legion interrupted closing the shuttle door and sitting down holding the device in his hands, the red light on his head flaring slightly. The device covered most of his lap when Shepard took a look over her shoulder, wanting to confirm that he was settled before she took off.

“Acknowledged,” Shepard snarked, Legion’s light shuttered a little at her comment. “It’s going to be a quick take-off buddy.”

Just as Shepard managed to get the shuttle off the ground the Reaper’s lights flared, the noise that played havoc in her dreams sung loud and clear. She could feel the adrenaline pumping through her body, as her vision narrowed down and her heart rate picked up. It didn’t matter how many times she heard that noise or how many Reapers she faced, she could never control the slight fear that would turn her blood to ice for a moment. These enemies were like nothing she had ever faced.

“Ah, Commander,” Jokers voice came over the comms. “You do realise that Reaper is waking up?”

“No shit, Joker,” Shepard said, her voice steady as it always was, a talent she had developed as a child and was incredibly thankful for. “The horrible screeching noise wasn’t a dead giveaway. EDI, I’m gonna need to you to work out if that things weapons are still functional.”

“A moment Shepard,” EDI’s calm voice managed to calm the beating of Shepard’s heart, Cerberus knew what they were doing when they designed EDI. “Shepard, the Reaper’s weapons are fully functional and…they’re coming online.”

“Get out of there Shepard!” Joker’s voice sounded panicked. Shepard couldn’t help but roll her eyes, obviously she didn’t want to stick around with the Reaper turning on, especially with fully functional weapons.

“Working on it, Joker,” Shepard snapped, Joker’s panic was not helping matters. “You shouting at me isn’t going to make it go any faster.”

“Shepard-Commander, the device appears to be turning on,” Legion’s voice called over whatever Joker was going to say in response. Shepard felt her heart drop, that was not something she wanted to hear. They had no idea what the device was, and the fact that it was turning on did not bode well for them with a Reaper chasing them.  

“What? How the fuck is it turning on?” Shepard asked, voice tense as she tried to stay out of the Reaper’s path. The Normandy was too far away to assist and Shepard wasn’t sure she wanted to bring the Reaper anywhere near the Normandy, most of the crew weren’t even on it. It was lucky that although the weapons of the Reaper were fully functional the Reaper itself was damaged enough to make it slower than it normally would be. Just not slow enough, as unfortunately the shuttle was also working at a slower rate. “What readings are you getting?”

“…Unknown.”

“Fucking fantastic, should have left it,” Shepard shook her head. “But no, could have been useful.”

“Shepard-Commander, We do not believe those comments are helpful,”

“Was…was that a joke?” Shepard asked. “You choose now, of all times to start making jokes?” Shepard quickly shot a look over her shoulder at Legion and she would have sworn he looked somewhat amused. “You’ve been spending too much time with EDI.”

“Shepard, the Reaper is preparing to fire, I suggest evasive manoeuvres,” EDI’s helpful suggestion came across the comms just as Shepard’s omni-tool started blaring, it was going to be close, with the distance between them and the shuttle responding slower than it normally does, it was unlikely that they wouldn’t be hit. Hopefully, a hit they can survive.

“Shit, shit, shit,” Shepard breathed. “I don’t think, shit, Joker, I don’t think we’re going to get out of this unscathed.”

“What? Yes, you will Shepard,” Joker hissed. “You’re Commander Shepard, even if you go down you’ll be fine. Being blasted into space didn’t even slow you down.”

“Joker, I was dead for two years,” Shepard laughed. “I think that counts as slowing down.”

“Please, you bounced back and took control of the situation as soon as you woke up,” Joker snarked.

Red light cut through Shepard’s peripheral just as Legion dropped into the seat beside her cutting of the response she was forming, glowing blue lights swirled in the back of the shuttle, she didn’t want to look behind her to see what the device was doing and why Legion left the back. He never came into the cockpit of any ship. Not even on board the Normandy.

“Shepard-Commander, the device appears to be attempting to assume control,” Legion stated, Shepard’s green eyes widen, as she turned to look at the Geth, the normal subtle red tinge more prominent as they reflected the red from Legion’s head light.

“Seriously? Assuming control?” Shepard took a deep breath. “This day can’t get any worse.”

Shepard attempted to swerve the shuttle, just as the Reaper fired, but the shuttle refused to obey. She frowned attempting for a second time but still had no luck. It was not very often that Shepard allowed the feeling of panic about a situation to control her actions, she always buried it under her years of training but this time, this time she couldn’t control the feeling. There were too many unknowns now with that device…assuming control.

“Commander, you are right in the line of fire,” Joker yelled. “Get out of there, if it hits it’ll take out the engines.”

“I know, I lost control of the shuttle, the device we found, it’s…taken over,” she whispered. “I can’t move the shuttle out of the way…Joker, shit, you need to get the rest of the Normandy crew back onboard and off this planet, other Reapers will be coming. They’d have felt their friend waking up. Legion and I will do what we can when we crash but do not come back for us, it’ll be too risky.”

“No, I am not leaving you Shepard and neither will the others,” Joker said. “Kadian would kill me if I even suggested leaving you on the ground with Reapers coming.”

“EDI, make sure the Normandy leaves,” Shepard ordered. “The crew are scattered it will take time for them all to return, time that the Reapers have to land. There will not be enough time for the Normandy to get close to us, we’re too far away. And you are not putting the crew in any more danger. Understand? That is an order.”

“Understood, Shepard,” EDI’s voice was hesitate but Shepard knew that EDI understood. That she will get the crew to safety.

“Commander, Lily…what…what should I tell them?” Joker asked, his voice subdued as he finally understood that for once Shepard had no other options, nothing. No biotics could withstand against a blast from a Reaper. And he knew Shepard would never forgive him for putting the crew at risk.

“I’m sorry,” Shepard felt a burn in the back of her throat. “Tell Kadian…that…tell him…”

“Shepard, there appears to be an anomaly on our scans,” EDI interrupted. “It’s reading similarly to the Mass Effect Relays.”

Just as the Reaper’s beam hit the back of the shuttle, a hole filled with brilliant blue and white light opened in-front of them.

“What the hell is that?” Shepard whispered, wincing at the bright light before shading her eyes against it. The alarms in the shuttle screamed at her and she felt the shuttle shudder as she was flung forward and to the side from the blast impact.

“Commander!” Joker’s voice rebounded around the shuttle just as space seemed to warp around them and then nothing.

--

“Shepard-Commander,” Legion’s voice sounded distant, as Shepard’s eyes slowly opened. Her vision was fuzzy, as she blinked furiously attempting to focus on what she knew was Legion but appeared only as a blur of grey and red. “Your vitals are all coming back as normal.”

“Yeah, yeah, give me a moment, us organics are a little more fragile when we crash,” Shepard groaned her hand pressing against her forehead. She frowned, before sitting up quickly, wavering a little before being steadied by Legion. “Where’s my helmet, I’m sure I put it one just before the Reaper hit?”

“The air on this planet appears to be safe for organics,” Legion explained. “However, the planet does not match any recorded.”

“Great, that’s just great,” Shepard breathed deeply fighting back the nausea that was churning in her stomach, the back of her neck tingled. “Shit, please don’t let my implant be damaged.”

“It does not appear to be malfunctioning,” Legion assured her, surprising her a little when he helped her up slowly. “We can scan it, however…” Shepard stopped rubbing the back of her neck to stare up at Legion in confusion, trying to focus past the pounding in her skull.

“You’re hesitating,” Shepard sighed. “That can’t be good.”

“The shuttle is beyond repair and it is unlikely that contact will be possible through your Omni-tool,” Legion gestured around them. Shepard finally took in their surroundings, sand. That is all she could see for miles. Great. The shade that covered them was from the remains of the shuttle, which appeared to be in pieces, one large enough to protect them from the sun but the other pieces were small and spread around them. She could see smoke raising a little in the distance and figured it was another piece of their shuttle.

“What happened?” Shepard asked as she slowly sat down again leaning against the wall of the shuttle as her legs started to shake.

“The device took over the shuttle just as the Reaper’s beam took out the engine,” Legion answered. “The device appeared to open the relay in-front of us and brought us here, however We were unable to control the descent of the shuttle, the damage of the shuttle was increased with the force of the travel through the relay.”

“And here is unknown,” Shepard let her head fall against the wall. “Can you contact the Geth Consensus?”

“Yes, however, it is weakened,” Legion’s voice was soft, almost sad. Shepard wondered if he was worried about the weak connection, as far as Shepard knew and understood how it all worked the connection the Geth all had was never weak.

“Well, that’s not good,” Shepard groaned just as the nausea in her stomach grew past her ability to hold off. She leaned to the side, heaving as she vomited up whatever food was in her stomach. “And that is also not good, definitely a concussion.”

“Shepard-Commander?” Shepard wasn’t sure if it was just the concussion speaking but Legion sounded concerned.

“I’ll be fine, organics get concussions if we hit our head too hard, plus my L2-implant possibly being damaged on top of that is not a good combination,” Shepard waved her hand as she spat into the dirt trying to get rid of the aftertaste. “Please tell me that you have located water or something? I don’t think there was any on the shuttle, and if there was…well, I doubt it survived our little trip.”

“Unknown,” Legion simply stated turning away from Shepard and looking towards where the alien device was sitting, peaceful as if it hadn’t completely screwed them over. “The device has also turned off.”

“Of course it has, the damage is already done so,” Shepard groaned as she forced herself up. “Well, I suggest we start walking. Gonna need water soon.”

“Shepard-Commander,” Legion started before he stopped turning slightly to face Shepard again. “We do not believe you should be moving. We shall look for water.”

“Yes, we shall,” Shepard nodded, grinning a little as she knew Legion did not mean the we, as in her and Legion, but rather the We he always uses to refer to himself.

“No, Shepard-Commander,” Legion did something he had never done before, he put his hands on her shoulders and pressed lightly, forcing her back to the ground. “You will rest…I will look for water.”

“Legion,” Shepard’s lips parted in surprise as she leaned against the wall of the shuttle. “You said I.”

Legion didn’t respond merely passing Shepard her M7 Avenger before he started looking through the wreckage, Shepard furrowed her brows as she tried to work out what he was looking for. Her head was still fuzzy, and all she really wanted was to sleep but she forced herself to stay awake. Dr Chakwas’ voice lecturing Shepard about the dangers of falling asleep with a concussion. Legion finally stopped rummaging through the supplies, coming back with a couple of containers that seemed undamaged.

“Rest Shepard-Commander,” Legion ordered before he wondered off.

“Wait! Do our comms work?” Shepard called.

“Yes,” Legion’s voice came over her omni-tool.

“Oh, good, that’s good,” Shepard said, her voice becoming weaker. “Contact me if anything happens Legion, we really shouldn’t be splitting up on an unknown planet.”

“Acknowledged.” The connection over comms was shut down with his answer.

“He said I,” Shepard mused, as she looked skyward, trying to work through what happened. “Please be okay. Just hold on, we’ll be back soon.”  The sky started to become fuzzy as Shepard’s eyes dropped. She could feel her consciousness drifting, she tried to fight against the darkness creeping at the edge of her vision but she couldn’t do anything against it as her body sagged and her eyes shut. Her last thought was hoping that Legion wouldn’t end up needing her after all.

[kennexara]

also on the topic of mass effect even though i’m not to the third game (barely started the second) i’ve been thinking about what a more satisfying ending would be. 

for a long time i was just like ‘idk just something other than dead/mostly dead’ but that was definitely when i was still in like, depression mode and angry at sacrifice storylines. i mean i’m out of depression mode but sacrifice storylines still piss me off most of the time. yes they have a place i just don’t like that place being near my blorbos

ANYWAYS for some reason i remembered percy jackson and how percy turns down godhood and then, to quote that hilarious text post, tells the gods uhh how about instead you pay your fucking child support?

and i do think something similar would be satisfying. like, the council is like ‘oh you’re a hero shepard who saved us all do you want to take anderson’s place on the council?’ (SEE i can appreciate a sacrifice sometimes even if i bawl like a baby everytime bc that’s my space dad!!!!!!) 

and then shepards like uhhh fuck no. how about instead you give every species a seat on the council? i’m talking quarians krogans volus elcor hanar drell etc etc. ooh and the geth (shepard does destroy ending BUT because the synthetics and organics were working in sync and had legions code changes (another sacrifice i can appreciate it!!) and like edi updated her own code from purely self-preservation they all are a bit organic no longer 100% synthetic in a tiny but significant way and so survive bc i said so). 

and so it’s truly a united galaxy and yayyy galactic peace.

also semi-related how does shepard survive citadel collapse? i’m so glad you asked! two things: one, cereberus implants make her yknow way stronger and tougher to kill. two, saving the rachi queen twice over pays off in a big way, rachni queen has idk a connection to shepard and so can pinpoint her location so yknow they rescue her before miranda has to start up project lazarus 2.0.

[prettypinklass]

I will ALWAYS pick the Spacer background for Shepherd, because it's the only background where the commander has at least one living parent. With all the shit going on throughout the trilogy, I bet even the commander needs someone they'll know will support them no matter what. The kind of support only a parent can provide.

In honor of that, I have some headcanons for how Hannah Shepherd (Spacer Commander Shepherd's mother) feels about the events of the trilogy.

Hannah Shepherd Headcanons

Mass Effect

She couldn't be prouder. Her kid is a great officer.

And then she hears about the Eden Prime mission

Oh shit

How many times did she call? Probably at least ten times. No answer

She heard the story. Her child is accusing a decorated Spectre of attacking Eden Prime with the geth. Nobody believes them

She gets one call, and it's about a homeless guy on the Citadel. During your work hours.

Then she finds out they proved they were right, and not only did they get the spectre demoted? They got promoted in his place. And their first mission is to track down the demoted spectre.

She tries to call again. No answer. Her kid is probably busy so it's fine.

The most prominent thing she's heard throughout the alliance is complaints that in addition to LT. Alenko (a man she knows is a good officer, having met before) and Cheif Williams, they've recruited a former turian c-sec officer, a krogan mercenary, a Quarian on her pilgrimage (whom she's pretty sure is a teenager still), and an asari archeologist.

She hears stories, and then is stationed on one of the ships that arrives to help the Citadel. The ship they attack- Sovereign as she heard it called- is powerful and all she can think is "what the fuck has my child been doing"

She kills the spectre, they destroy the ship, and now your child has gotten a human onto the council.

You couldn't be prouder. You still haven't heard from them though.

Oh and that news story where she punched the reporter? You have the clip saved.

Mass Effect 2

Her child just got spaced.

FUCK

Hackett approved her leave and she spent more hours then she can count grieving.

They never recovered her child's body. There was a small service. Hackett mentioned something about a memorial for the Normandy.

Then.

She finds out her child is alive.

AND WORKING

FOR A PRO-HUMAN TERRORIST GROUP

WHAT THE FUCK MY CHILD

The stories are insane. Her kid has recruited more aliens, as well as a few criminals, and she hears from Alenko/Williams that they really are working for the pro human terrorist group, investigating the missing human colonies.

She decides she won't even bother trying to contact them. She's still processing that they're even alive.

Then she finds out they blew up a relay

And then they disappeared past the Omega 4 relay before the Alliance could catch them and press charges. Was that the suicide mission she kept hearing about?

Then her child emerges, triumphant and claiming that the collectors are dead.

They get grounded. She finally gets to talk to her briefly, and the conversation goes something like this:

"Sweetie."

"Hi mom."

"Start answering my fucking calls."

"Sorry mom."

"And next time, tell me you're alive and working for a terrorist group. I had to hear it from Alenko/Williams."

"Sorry mom."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"You're grounded."

"...Yeah, that's fair."

Oh and she saved the second clip of her child punching that reporter.

Mass Effect 3

And her kid was right all along. The reapers are here to kill everyone.

They've also been reinstated and have to play politician.

They try to keep in touch a little better. Sending her emails about what's happening.

She saves the third clip of them punching the reporter.

It's hell trying to build the crucible, but she's doing her best to help. The more her child does, the crazier things get.

Her child has cured the genophage and made peace between the krogan and turians, and apparently is an honorary krogan now??

She nearly shot the first rachni she saw on the crucible build site, but this asari lady, who claimed to be their friend, tells her that the rachni are here to help. Courtesy of her child.

She's 100% sure that her computer is bugged because not only are there ships showing up whenever they're low on supplies, SOMEONE keeps emailing her updates on the Normandy and her child, all "courtesy of the Shadow Broker". She's a bit worried her child is being stalked.

Then her child makes peace between Geth and Quarians. The Geth show up to help them build the crucible, and every single one of them seems ecstatic to meet the "Creator of Shepherd-Commander."

Mercenaries show up too, thanks to Aria T'Loak and her child. She still isn't sure how that happened.

The more her child does, the more creatures and people show up to help the war effort.

It's insane.

And she couldn't be prouder.

She gets an invitation one day. From her child.

Apparently, Admiral Anderson gave them his apartment and she's been invited to come over for a bit.

She jumps at this.

The meeting is awkward but she's too happy to see her child to care.

She finally meets her child's friends.

The former turian c sec officer, Garrus

The sarcastic brittle boned pilot, Joker

The Normandy SR-2's AI, EDI, (and she's pretty sure EDI and Joker have something going on)

Specialist Traynor

The krogan leader, Wrex, who cheers and slaps her a little too hard on the back

A tank bred Krogan, Grunt, who she immediately notices seems to think of her child as a parent. She has a krogan for a grandson.

Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, who is no longer a teenahe quarian but a full admiral

The asari archeologist, Liara T'Soni, who has a drone for an assistant (and she's suspicious of being the Shadow Broker, based on how familiar she is with her)

An asari justicar, Samara, who is honored to meet you

A former Cerberus officer, Jacob

Miranda, who is a former cerberus officer and obviously isn't naturally that good looking.

Kasumi the master theif, who greets her by sneaking up behind and saying "hi".

Zaeed, a mercenary with a bad attitude

Finally, she meetw Jack. She remembers hearing about her, a former convict who is an extremely powerful and hateful biotic... who is now working as a teacher at Grissom Academy.

Where does her child meet these people??

Her child also tells her about Mordin, Thane and Legion

A salarian scientist who liked to sing

A drell assassin who was terminally ill, but saved the life of the Salarian councilor

And a geth, the geth that aided her in making peace between the Quarians and geth.

And then they tell you about this weird clone that tried to steal the Normandy and kill them.

She still doesn't understand that part.

Then, after all that, her child dies stopping the reapers.

She couldn't be prouder.

And she will always miss them.

[rubyvroom]

Playing ME: Legendary is so Frustrating

because, eventually, you have to play Mass Effect 3.

And look, ME:1 is greatly improved in the Legendary set. They not only boosted the visuals, they improved all the interfaces and brought them in line with the series in a way that improves playability. The story was already great, the gameplay was brought up to match. 

ME:2 was already damn near perfect. I can’t think of any noticable improvement other than including all the DLC I didn’t pay for the first time, and I was happy with that. It didn’t need improving. I wouldn’t change a thing. 

But ME:3. I’m only in the very very beginning of the game and already I’m frustrated, and it’s exactly because I just finished playing two really excellent games. 

You are much more on rails for this game than ever before. Yes, it meets the exact same structure as the previous games -- opening disaster, first squad members humans, first mission on a human colony, then it’s time to gather your alien supporters -- but there’s a lot less room for you to decide how Shepard reacts to things. The game has already decided who Shepard is and what Shepard wants, and there’s no room for you to disagree.

In some ways that’s cool because it remembers exactly what you had Shepard do in 1+2. The continuity between the games is pretty strong, and that’s impressive.

But in most ways it’s bad. Because it means your character-building is already done at the very start of the game. You can’t have your character grow or change their mind about things based on their experiences so far - what you did in the previous games is still what you’re going to do now. And your range of responses for all Shepards is greatly limited compared to before. So for example Shepard is thrilled to be back with the Alliance after it kicked her out for what she did to stop the Reapers and after working with Cerberus for an extended period of time. But that wasn’t a decision I made - that was my only decision. I don’t get the option of telling the alliance to fuck off after how they treated me and maybe rejoining them only reluctantly because Anderson asked me to. I don’t get any character options at all.

Then, I’m immediately reminded how garbage your romance choices are in Mass Effect if you’re a female Shepard. There is no way to romance the same person in all three games. If you want the romance achievement you will have to choose 2-3 different partners. And this has a lot of unpleasant consequences for female Shepartd that Male Shepards don’t have to face: being accused of cheating and betrayal (does not happen to M!Shep), your LI from 2 dying in 3 no matter what you do (can’t happen to Male Shep), and just having to role play losing your LI in some way or other every game. (Also, and I’m going to complain forever about this, but so many love interests are locked in for Straight Male Shepard in a way that doesn’t make sense. You going to tell me aliens care whether I’m male or female? That Miranda cares? That freaking JACK cares? Come on. This is classic bro-pandering from Bioware same as they do for the Dragon Age series, and it’s really irritating.)

Also, I haven’t gotten into the meat of the story yet, but I’m already reminded of some of the stupid, stupid story choices that were made: The Illusive Man is indoctrinated. We’re fighting Cerberus again after years of working with them and no apparent ambivalence about this. EDI has a sexy robot body now (siiiiiiiiiigh). Kai Leng. The fucking Star Kid. I told myself I could enjoy ME:3 right up to the deeply stupid ending and then just stop the game and make up my own ending, but the fucking Star Kid is all over the damn place in this game, as is the 3-part choice of Destroy, Control, and I forget Blend? Something? It was so stupid, you guys. So stupid. It’s hard to ignore.

But here’s the worst thing of all. The combat in this game is SO FUN. When I said ME:2 was near perfect, this is the one thing that is better in ME:3. You run better and more naturally, you can dodge roll, and do more satisfying melee moves. They finally got the balance right between powers, guns, and ammunition, and made more dynamic fights where you aren’t just hiding in cover until everything is dead. Even the interfaces are better than in previous games, getting rid of the eyebleedy orange data pads from 2 for instance. The weapons mod system from 1 is back, and improved. Although I liked the leveling in 1 the best, 3 is a close second, with more choices to build your characters. ME:3 is fun to play! It’s the most fun fighting has been in the whole series!

Plus, you get all the payoffs from the previous two games: you get to cure the Genophage, for instance. Which is a choice, but of course you’re going to cure the Genophage - who doesn’t cure the Genophage? You get to resolve the Quarian/Geth conflict which has been a huge part of the series, plus make peace between Tali and Legion. Plus some flat-out cool stuff.  A Thresher Maw fights a Reaper! Hang out with the huge cast of characters on shore leave in the best DLC of the whole series!

So it’s basically impossible to just skip 3. You have to have the whole frustrating experience again, with all of the pretty high highs and the really, really low lows. As an end to the whole Legendary Edition experience, it’s just a reminder of how Bioware lost it’s way. 

[sky-ham]

Destroy Ending‘s “Genocide”

Been a while since I wrote something, but we’re going on lockdown soon so hey. For simplification this refers to the high EMS Destroy ending.

It occurred to me that the major thing holding people back from Destroy (myself included, back then) is the fact that you’re forced to lose EDI and the geth. Otherwise, Destroy is the most straightforward solution to the Reaper problem that offers the least amount of what-ifs when compared to the other choices. (I would also say it’s thematically and logically the ideal choice, but that would spawn more paragraphs that this post needs).

Here's the thing (do correct me if I'm wrong, it's been a while since I've played) - the game doesn't go into specifics of what part of synthetics are actually destroyed. Synthetics, as we know, are composed of both hardware (the body) and software (the mind).

In the Destroy ending, the Reapers just stop dead in their tracks. The relays stop working, and fall apart - presumably from the momentum of their own motion. The Normandy and other ships shut down and drift in space or fall from the sky, but they don't explode. Based on that, we know that it’s not hardware - any physical damage taken is due to external factors. And any physical damage can be repaired easily - as Tali has already proven by bringing bits and bobs of geth and having to deal with them reactivating on her loyalty mission.

So it’s assumed that what is actually "destroyed" is the software - or code. Synthetic systems malfunction because any code being executed is going haywire. And this  "genocide", as people have called it, refers to losing the data that allow the geth and EDI to have memories and personality.

Now here's a question - how much of this data is actually being lost? The Catalyst itself says, “there will still be losses, but no more than what has already been lost”. 

To simplify terminology - let’s say “code” are instructions executed to define the behavior of a system, while “data” is stored information. You input data (numbers) into a calculator and its code tells it how to handle them to give you your desired results. Now on a larger scale - ships like the Normandy require data inputs to perform - some given by a pilot, and some already stored such as constants or specifications. Its complex network of codes process that data and make them behave as starships do.

If we assume all of the Normandy’s code was wiped or scrambled from the Crucible blast, it can all be written from scratch or corrected courtesy of Tali / Steve / Sam + the engineering team. So long as you are capable of logic, you will always be capable of creating/fixing code. However, that would literally take them months, if not years, not including extensive testing. Data is trickier - they are certainly great at tech, but even they can't memorize all the crucial numbers needed to keep a military frigate running. Data is everything important and optimal that has been noted down from years of experiments and research.

And yet somehow, your crewmates survived. That means not all code, and not all data was lost, because they got Normandy off the planet they crashed in. They probably limped back to civilization, but the fact remains that they didn’t lose substantially enough because they managed to get it back up. The same goes for all other ships knocked out by the blast, which we see are operational again in the ending cutscenes. It also implies that we did not lose every single bit of our history and science that’s been migrated and stored in digital form.

So what about the geth? We know for certain they can be rebuilt and repaired. Would it not mean just partial “amnesia” from data loss? Legion “died” by giving all of his personality data as a foundation for the geth consensus, but that was only after the conclusion on Rannoch. Would the geth have had enough time to form individual memories and personalities by the time you fire the Crucible? Do the geth not have external data banks and networks with multiple backups that they can rollback to?

What about EDI? Her consciousness is the Normandy, and the Normandy survives. We know she is built from Reaper Technology (Sovereign’s remains) so rebuilding is an option. If she contains Reaper Code (as well as the geth) we know it can be deconstructed by an asari war strategist in one of the ME3 side missions, so it’s really no different from any other code bar complexity, perhaps.

Synthetics are superior to organics in some ways, one of which is because they don’t really “die“ as we traditionally understand it. Legion mentions a soul, which IMO really is just a philosophical question as opposed to an organic’s soul - what is described as their life force. Given that, is the use of “genocide” in this context really as heavy as people make it out to be?

[wrexidentalinsurance]

I love you all. Please don’t garrote me for posting this.

I don’t think there is anything more dividing in this fandom than the subject of the Mass Effect endings. They’re all crap. Blue. Control. Okay so you’re TIM now. What happens to Shepard’s consciousness once it’s worn down by the passage of time? Do they decide that only ONE reaper being in the galaxy is enough and eliminate the rest by melting them in the core of a star or black hole? Or do they self-destruct? Or do they keep them all and send them back to the dark pit of space they came from to slumber until a new problem arrives? Is Shepard’s consciousness part of the Reaper code now? There’s so many questions and not enough answers. Sure, they fix the relays and help repair buildings and stuff. But there’s Abominations, Husks, Banshees, and Brutes running around? They used to be part of a family, someone’s family somewhere, and now they’re just dead remnants of themselves with no recollection of who they used to be. Are they hulking around fixing stuff? Is it even guaranteed that Shepard can keep them under control? How much control can one consciousness exert over a hoard that size and not bump into problems like Legion did with the Heretics and overwriting the “error” in the code? What happens when that is the case and Shepard’s code is overwritten by some other AI in the future? What if Shepard becomes Hal from 2001: A Space Odyssey? Too many questions, too much imagination. Red. Destroy. Okay. I like Destroy. But there’s just a few tiny little problems: it undoes the hard work you put into healing the rift between the geth and the quarian and renders Legion’s sacrifice as null and void. Without the geth regulating the Quarians immune system, they have NO shot at inhabiting Rannoch again. So they’re back to square one, waiting for evolution to do its work which will take centuries. And Edi is dead? Joker and the rest of the crew are stranded on some planet. Shepard is probably fucked up for life (if they survive) because hey, they’re loaded down with synthetic coding, which probably came from some old Reaper code. All the Relays are dead. Does that mean all the Turian, Asari, Drell, Hanar, Volus, Elcor, and others starve to death hanging out above Earth while they’re supplies run low? All that hard work, all those lives spared—gone. Earth barely has enough supplies to feed it’s own population (according to the Codex), so where would they get the dextro food for other races from? But in comparison with the others, it looks like a “free will/leave it up to us to decide” kind of choice, which is great if it didn’t come with a kick to the quad. Green. Synthesis. Okay so I know some folks who like it and some who don’t. One of the people who likes Synthesis is a very good friend that has argued for it and we’ve had many talks about our choices, about sacrificing for the whole. She made some interesting points. But I have also seen a lot against convincing arguments against it. I didn’t like it because to me it insinuated forcing ascension onto individual people. Where is the autonomy? The game does not go into explaining what it exactly does to the body, mind, and if it strips people their personalities and choices or rewires them to be more accepting, tolerant, peaceful. You get the vague impression that it does somehow but it’s ambivalent. Knowledge and experience in life is a battle. It’s a choice. It’s something we fight for. Does having interconnectedness with everyone else in the universe strip you of your life choices? Does being part of a collective strip you of individuality? Is it a borg situation or is it a bee situation? Sure, it solves all the problems but what new problems does it open up? Does it force everyone to be peaceful and act with empathy?  What exactly is synthesis? Is everyone now a human/machine hybrid? Overall it has left me with more questions than answers and the writers (whether for time or money) leave all of them unanswered. I still don’t know how to process this but maybe I’m not supposed to. Furthermore, your Shepard, after all that hard work and sacrifice, has to sacrifice themselves all over again to bind the entire universe in harmony? No happy endings for Shepard, at all. They’re just fodder and their LIs/found family/real family mourn and all their personal struggles are for nought.The only slightly good ending that gives Shepard a chance to survive is Destroy. Which is horribly unfair considering it fucks up other stuff. Then there’s the non-answer: Do nothing and watch the universe be torn asunder. OF all the fucking things I thought maybe this would be the one to turn the game on its head. You tell the Star Brat, “No, I’m not deciding for everyone”. “Okay, watch your galaxy burn then”. END. What it could have been is: “I’m not playing your shitty game, you reaper pawn. I see through this bullshit.” Star Brat: “Oh fiddlesticks! I can’t compute this noncompliance! Pure Anarchy!” Star Brat short circuits and disappears. Shepard hacks in and takes control of the Crucible. It activates a hundred black boxes and boom, transforms into a massive fucking Reaper killer. You spend a couple hours going on a Reaper Killing spree. You go on missions, every one of your friends and your LI control the individual parts of the unwieldy machine. You punch right through a Reaper hull and ignite it. It blows up slow motions style. You go from planet to planet waging war, rendering them powerless. Maybe even the Arachni help you maintain and repair it while you’re flitting from mission point to mission point. Hackett thinks you’re cool. He gives you a thumbs up from the Fifth Fleet chair. The other fleets are probably performing rescue missions. It’s a long battle with many missions to come but you do it. You obliterate the Reapers and some kind of peace is restored. --- Look, my point is, people are always going to disagree on these endings and that’s fine. I’m just saying maybe we should write our own shit and yeet canon. Or maybe take some of the canon and use it how it fits your story. Because sometimes it’s just bad writing, shortsightedness. They really screwed the pooch with all of these endings and personally, I feel like it was a big fat fuck you to the players.

[ghostxofxartemis]

Prologue of my Fanfic Complete.

I’m just too excited, I want to share. I’m hoping to get an invitation to Archives tomorrow to post the First chapter, as I just completed it. But I don’t want to give too much right away! But here’s my complete prologue! 

Author’s notes: Hi everyone, welcome to my first fanfiction for Mass Effect, my all time favourite game! My canon Shepard, is default Shepard, Earth Born, War Hero, infiltrator class, paragon with a few renegade options, like kicking the merc out the window in Ilium and killing Kai Leng with that renegade button quick for Thane. Chose to destroy the reapers, and survived. He also romanced Ashley, and I wanted to delve into their story a bit more. However, most of the story will revolve around their daughter, 25 years later. I believe Shepard’s story is done. But that doesn’t mean that another Shepard can’t come and continue his legacy. Everyone survived except for Mordin while dispancering the genophage cure, Thane while chasing Kai Leng, Legion and EDI. However, EDI will be back (I can’t kill her off completely!) 

Another note, I always preferred to write in first person. I know it technically goes against all rules of writing, but I will be switching from John Shepard’s and Alex Shepard’s Point of view.

Also still brainstorming Titles.

Prologue

“The war is over. The Reapers have been defeated. 

Against all odds, and in the face of the greatest threat this galaxy has ever known, we survived. 

We suffered many losses. The relays are severely damaged, but we won. 

This victory belongs to each of us... every man, woman, and child. Every civilization, on every world. Now, as we take our first steps toward restoring what we lost, we must remember what it took to win. This wasn't a victory by a single fleet, a single army, or even a single species.

If this war has taught us anything, it is that we are at our strongest when we work together. And if we can put down our grievances long enough to stop something as powerful as the Reapers, imagine what we can achieve now that they are defeated. 

It will take time, but we can rebuild everything that was destroyed.

Our homes, our worlds, our fleets and defenses. All of this - and more. 

Together, we can build a future greater than any one of us could imagine.

A future paid for by the sacrifices of those who fought and died alongside us.

A future that many will never see. 

And while we still have many challenges ahead of us... We can face them together. 

And we will honor those who died to give us that future.”

Gasp. My lungs filled with air, I felt pain, everywhere. In all my years in my career, all those shots I’ve endured couldn’t compare to this. All I saw was rubble. Did it work? Did the crucible fire? Or did I just imagine that? “Shepard!” “Shepard, where are you?! Come on Commander?!” “Shepard?!” I recognized those voices. Samara, Jack, Miranda? But they were on the other side of the battlefield. I tried to move, but movement shot pain all over my body again and I saw stars in my vision. I was on the verge of slipping in unconsciousness. I knew if I did, I may never wake up again. All my medigel was dispensed during the final push, I had to stay awake until someone found me at least. Then they can take care of the rest. I tried again, slowly this time, I moved my head around, looking for something that could alert them where I am. I shot the tube didn’t I? Back at the crucible? Think Shepard, your pistol must be around! With great effort I started to feel around me, God this rubble is heavy!  There! I felt the pistol. I aimed in the sky and prayed there were still a couple shots left in the thermal clip. I squeeze the trigger. Bam Bam. Two shots that's it, I hear the empty click. They should have heard that, they must be closed otherwise I wouldn’t have heard them. 

“Get down!” “They’re not shooting at us.” “It’s Shepard!” 

“Shepard, stay with me, we got you, we’ll get you medic” Miranda’s face appeared in my vision as she spoke, her omnitool bright orange, I started to feel light headed but my pain was slowly diminishing, for now. How much medigel did she give me?! Oh, why does it matter, she knows what she is doing, she put me back together after all!  “MEDIC, OVER HERE! IT’S SHEPARD!” I heard Jack yell, before my vision went black. 

“Stay with me Shepard!” Miranda again, I was on a gurney, they were running with the medics, Miranda had her omnitool at the ready. Looked like she was scanning the damage, her face, didn’t look right...worried? “Miranda…Ashley?” I tried to reach for her. “Shh, save your energy. Just stay with me okay, you’ll be okay! The Normandy made it out on time, you did it Shepard” I didn’t know whether she was telling the truth about me making it, but it didn’t matter, all that mattered was that Ashley and my crew...my friends, were safe. All went dark. 

I woke up again, who knows how long I have been out, and heard beeping noise around me. I searched my surroundings, and noticed a heart rate monitor, tubes in my arms. I’m in a hospital, still alive, well at least I think so? Miranda’s face appeared in my vision, as well as someone else, don’t know who they are though. “Hey Shepard, you got some broken ribs, your left arm is broken, we’re keeping you under a coma for you to recover faster. But you’re going to make a full recovery.” I heard Miranda say to me before she turned around to the other man in the room and said “give him a dose, a bigger one this time, trust me he’ll be fine.” I couldn’t help but chuckle and I saw Miranda’s lip quirk up, I knew she got the same sense of deja vu: the first time I woke up in the Cerberus lab when she rebuilt me. But I knew I was going to be fine, after all Miranda would know best. All went dark again.

I woke up again, and I heard some rustling beside me, and I hand touched mine. “Hey Hero-Man, glad to see you finally awake.” I didn’t need to see who it was, because I would recognize her voice anywhere. A smile spread on my face, I never felt so much joy in my lifetime. Ashley was okay, and she was here beside me! I turned to face her, and tried to speak, but it almost felt like I had no voice. “Shh, shh, you’ve been out a while, just take it slow Skipper.” I had to say this though, and I squeezed her hand, cleared my throat, and with pure will I muttered a raspy “I love you,” she smiled and said “I know” and I fell asleep again. 

The next time I woke up, I felt much better. I couldn’t say how much time had passed, I figured maybe about a few days. Next to me Ashley had fallen asleep, she had her head on the bed all the while sitting in the chair she pulled up. I gently ran my fingers in her hair, and I felt her stir under my touch. “Hey pretty lady” I whispered, “Hey” she said back at me as she slowly lifted her head off the bed “You’re awake”. “Just woke up myself. How long have I been out?” I asked her. “Hmm, just about a month now, Miranda’s been looking after you until we could get the Normandy fully functioning again and back into orbit. We got back to Earth as soon as we could and got here. Dr. Chawkas took over your care after that” she replied. A month?! I took a moment to process that, I thought I had been out a few days, but a month?!  I was in shock. Normandy fully functioning? What the hell happened?! “Ash...what happened? After I got to the crucible? What happened?” I reached for her hand and squeezed it. I needed to know what happened after everything went dark. “The crucible shot red beams of light, and all synthetic, the Geth, Edi, even the Reapers, they all went dead. The Normandy was hit, we sustained a bit of damage before hitting the relay, we landed on an uncharted world. The crew worked all together to get the Normandy back up. Took us about 3 days, and then 2 weeks to get back to earth. But you did it Shepard - you destroyed the Reapers, the war is done. But there’s one more thing… Admiral Anderson..” she started saying, I nodded my head “I know, I was with him.” “I’m so sorry Skipper” for the first time ever, I saw a tear run down Ashley’s cheek. Throughout everything, Kaidan’s death, even when she was in the hospital and waiting for news on her family, Ashley Williams never cried, and here she was shedding a tear. I took my free hand and placed it behind her neck and brought her forehead to my lips and planted a kiss, and I held her there. She pulled away, and whipped her tears, “I should get Dr. Chawkas, I’ll be right back,” she stood up and walked out the door to get Dr. Chawkas, and I leaned back into the bed and sighed. I felt relieved that the Reapers were truly destroyed. But cords pulled on my heart. Edi had truly died. I was supposed to be dead. I had hoped that the catalyst had lied, but it hadn’t. Now Joker had lost the love of his life. 

I heard the door whoosh open again and turned my head in it’s direction, Dr. Chawkas looked at me, a smile spreading ear to ear, and behind her was Miranda. I could see Ashley talking to Admiral Hackett and James leaning up against the wall. I guess I could expect a huge welcoming party after speaking to Dr. Chawkas and Miranda. I was pretty sure there were others there that I couldn’t see. “Glad to see you awake Commander. You’re looking a lot better. I’m just going to run some scans here. I have to say, I’m impressed with Miranda’s medical skills, it was touch and go there for a while” she was saying as she lit up her omni-tool to do her scans. 

“Well, if anyone would know my body inside and out, it would be her, it wouldn’t be the first time either” I chuckle, and heard Dr. Chawkas chuckle as well, while I swear, Miranda’s cheeks turned beet red. “I suppose you're right. Scans look commander, you’re healing well. You should be good to go to physical therapy in a few days. But first we should probably get you some food,” she cocked her head in the direction of my stomach, as it made a growl, I swear everyone in the next system heard. “I’ll go get you something to eat, in the meantime Admiral Hackett would like to speak to you,” she turned on her heels and made her way out the door only to stop to speak quickly to Admiral Hackett “he’s all good Admiral, ready to see you” she nodded and Hackett give her a nod back “thank you Dr.” and made his way towards me. “Shepard, I don’t still don’t know how you pulled that off. That wasn’t short of any miracle” he reached out with a hand and I took in my own to give him a hand shake. “I don’t really know what really happened myself, tell you the truth Admiral” I replied. He pulled his hand back and clasped them behind his back, taking on his usual casual stance. “Tell me what you remember.” 

“I don’t know where to start Admiral. I reached the beam, and landed somewhere in the Citadel. Somewhere I’ve never been before. They were collecting human remains, and looked like they were gathering them to make another Reaper, maybe. I don’t know.” I pause to sigh and bring my thumb and forefinger to pinch the bridge of my nose for a moment, deep in thought. When I pulled my hand away again, I recollected myself to continue my debrief. “I made my way to the control panel, and Anderson had already reached it. He was trying to open to the Citadel arms. But the Illusive man was controlling him, stopping him from accessing the controls.” Hackett made a noise that sounded like a hmm. “So he managed to learn how to control humans, and not just husks?” he asked. “Yeah...thought he was implanted with reaper technology. He managed to get control over me as well. I tried to pull him out of his revelry, but he made me shoot Anderson, before he pulled the trigger on himself.” I sighed at the memory. I felt guilty, and it must have shown in my expression, for Hackett immediately interjected “It wasn’t your fault Shepard,” “It doesn’t make it any easier, sir”.

It must have taken me about a good 10 mins to explain everything, from the catalyst to the destruction of the Reapers. Hackett had agreed that taking control of  the Reapers would have been too much of a risk, what if down the line I would have become indoctrinated and started up another war? Rewriting human DNA is unethical. Destruction was the only way to go, even at a great cost. Peace between synthetic and humans is possible, as I had managed to prove to the galaxy with brokering peace between the geth and the Quarians. 

Hackett thanked me for the briefing and wished me a speedy recovery. I knew I would be out for a bit, but thanks to my cybernetics, it wouldn’t be as long as a normal person. Something I was grateful for, to be honest, even after everything that just happened, I still wasn’t ready to retire. 

After Hackett left, Ashley came back in followed by James, Traynor Carrying a vase full of “get well flowers”, Garrus, Liara and Cortez. “I brought you some flowers Commander, I’m glad you’re doing better commander, everyone has been worried about you” Traynor said as she placed the vase on the bedside table. “Thanks Traynor.” 

“Just couldn’t help yourself from destroying the reapers with a bang, uh Loco?” James chuckled, I just rolled my eyes at him and shook my head. No doubt I’ve just earned myself more “Loco” points. “S’cuse me” Dr. Chawkas was shimmying herself between the crew with a tray of food in her hands, and when she reached me she handed the tray and I reached out and grabbed it and placed it on my lab. I scrutinized what was on the tray, military rations albeit not being the best and tastiest of food, certainly looked more appetizing than the clump of goo that was sitting in front of me. I looked up at Dr. Chakwas, eyebrows raised in a quizzical look “what is this supposed to be?” She shrugged and her expression  turned sympathetic, no doubt not wanting to be stuck with this goo and feeling horrible about handing it over to me. “It’s supposed to be oatmeal. Something soft but not too solid yet, have to slowly introduce food into your system. You’ve been out a while Commander.” 

I picked up the spoon, scoop up a spoonful, only to purposely drop through the goo back into the plate. “I think I lost my appetite” I grumbled. “We’ll leave you to it commander” Traynor gave a sympathetic look  towards my way before gesturing to the others to do the same. Miranda lingered behind a bit “I’m glad your back Commander” and turned towards the door to follow the others out. Only Ashley remained behind. I moved myself a little closer to the edge of the bed and pat the empty spot beside me for her to sit down next to me. She was more than happy to oblige, her smile spreading across her face. She lay down and leaned her hand on my shoulder. “I know it’s not appetizing, John, but you should eat” she said. I sighed, “I know, I just didn’t want to make faces in front of everyone” I replied, and she snorted. I sighed again and took another spoonful and slowly, the food made its way down to my stomach.

The few weeks I spent in the hospital and physical therapy had been slow and excruciating. Not in the sense that my body hurt, it was mostly all healed up at this point, thanks to my upgrades. But it was the fact I was stuck there and hadn’t gotten the all clear yet to get back into the field. Ashley thought I was crazy, that I had more than earned some shore leave. But I wasn’t one to just sit around and do nothing.

I also had ceremonies to attend. I had been given more awards for my part in the war. The Normandy crew had been granted the Galactic Unit Citation for their part in helping win me this war. I had been awarded my second Star of Terra, along with the Star of Sur’Kesh, Silver Dagger, and Nova Cluster. My recognition in this war had gone with plenty of notice. 

Eventually I was given the all clear to head back and command The Normandy again. Hackett wanted the Normandy's help in patrolling  the system, making sure no one went rogue. With the government in chaos, and the Alliance in scramble right now. And with all the repairs that needed to be done to the mass relays, he wanted to make sure no pirates or mercs decided to attack anyone at random. The Normandy was to escort fleets to other systems so that we can start making the repairs on the mass relays ASAP. I was more than happy to comply. 

The welcoming I received was heartwarming. Everyone was glad to see me up on my feet again. New armor had been sent to the armory to replace the one that had been scorched in the final push. Walking up the ramp I plot our first trip to Arcturus Stream for our first escort. “You got it, Commander” was Joker’s voice coming through the speakers. I couldn’t help but smiled as I turned around and headed to the elevator up to my cabin. It was good to be back on the Normandy, and quite frankly, I was looking forward to a night alone with Ashley. 

[ameliasnormandy]

Joker is Where?

“Are you not coming?” Com asked, seeing that Admiral Hackett was once again behind his desk.

“I will be along to see you off, but I got word where your missing person might be, and I intend to find him.”

“Yes, sir,” Com said, saluting him.

“To show you to your ship, I have one of the newest N-7 recruits,” Admiral Hackett said, looking toward the door. “Come in.”

The door is open and standing in full N-7 fatigues is none other than. “Vega,” Com said, giving him a smile through her helmet.

“You can follow me, ma’am,” he said, before saluting both Com and Miranda.

“Is there any reason that I shouldn’t tell him?” Com said, looking at Admiral Hackett.

Miranda shook her head no, but Hackett was the one to answer. “No, you can’t hide forever.”

“Before you do it. Why is this the final straw?” Miranda asked.

“He called me ma’am,” Com said, looking at Vega. “The last time he did that he thought he was going to die.”

“What should I call you?” Vega asked, looking at Com in bewilderment.

Com placed her hands on her helmet. “I got used to Lola,” she said, removing her helmet. Her red hair flowed out of it and she shook it loose, her brown eyes stared at Vega, and her face had a scar he didn’t remember, just above her left eye. It was small, but it was there.

“Lola,” Vega said, under his breath. “It can’t be.”

“It can,” Commander Shepard said, with a laugh. “And please don’t bring up the idea up about a clone. That was weird for all of us.”

“But you’re not a clone, right?” Vega asked.

“Clones don’t have the memories or the handprint,” Commander Shepard said, shaking her head at Vega.

“Lola,” Vega said, saluting Commander Shepard.

Commander Shepard shook her head. “At ease N-7.”

“You three had best be on your way,” Admiral Hackett said.

“Yes, sir,” Commander Shepard said, making sure to put her helmet back on. She didn’t know what was going on, but had a feeling the helmet should be on. It seemed that even Miranda and Hackett were a little nervous about showing that Commander Shepard had been alive this entire time, so it seemed that they had to do it too. Though, she wondered what things were missing. She had to know that there was something missing.

The three of them left in silence. “Still can’t believe it Lola.”

“I can believe you’re an N-7,” Commander Shepard said, flashing him a smile. “You had your heart set on it. And your skin too.”

“I lived up to that tattoo.”

“I knew you would,” Commander Shepard said, giving him a smile. “I am sure there is a lot that an N-7 needs to do now.”

              “Not as much as you had to,” Vega said, as the three of them walked down a hallway full of people.

              “That was not simply because I was an N-7,” Commander Shepard said, noticing everyone looking at her. This wasn’t the eyes that she had been on her before. She was neither a ghost returning from the dead or a battle worn soldier masquerading as their last hope. No, this time she was just an enigma. She was the person that no one understood. She was just a person, that no one wanted to know.

              She was a ghost though, even if none of them knew it. Even if the soldier saluting them didn’t know. Or the secretary that sat there trying not to stare at her. Or the civilian walking his dog, who seemed to be angry that there was another soldier. Even if none of them knew. She knew. And that seemed to be all that mattered. She had come back from the dead, not once, but twice. She could only imagine how the people who knew her was going to take this. That was part of the reason that she wanted to never tell anyone, but if she was going to lead a team, she was going to have to tell everyone eventually. She was going to have to just accept what was going on. There was no way around what she was doing, and she knew that. She kept her head straight and did her best to keep a normal persona, it helped that she had someone to catch up with. There was Vega to talk to after all. “Other than becoming an N-7, what else have you been up to?” she asked him.

              “Not much Lola,” Vega said.

              “There has to be something. Look at Miranda working for the Alliance…”

              “With the Alliance,” Miranda said, interrupting Commander Shepard. “I am not working for the Alliance. I am working with the Alliance.”

              “Sorry, for the inaccuracies, you are working with the Alliance.”

              “What about you?” Vega asked.

              “I am working with the Alliance for the moment,” Commander Shepard said, looking at Vega. “But for how long I am not sure.”

“You planning on leaving Lola?” The way Vega asked this made it seem that any other answer than no would be the wrong answer.

And maybe anyone else would have listened to his voice and his muscles and given him the answer he wanted; Commander Shepard wasn’t anyone else. She knew what she wanted to say, and she knew Vega. “Eventually. Everyone wants to retire eventually.”

“I don’t,” Vega said, with a confidence that didn’t surprise Commander Shepard. “And I doubt Joker did.”

Commander Shepard picked up on what Vega was saying right away. “Did?”

“He was grounded shortly after you…”

“Died,” Commander Shepard said, finishing his thought. “It’s ok to say it. It is what you guys thought that I was.”

              “Were you?”

              “Dead?”

              “That was what I was asking.”

              “No, I don’t think I was. The first few months are a little hazy, but I don’t think that I was ever dead, probably unconscious, but never dead, I just couldn’t make contact.” Commander Shepard didn’t say anything for a few seconds. “Tell me more about Joker. Is he alright?”

              “That last I heard he was hitting up gun ranges with bottles of tequila,” Vega said, turning to look at Miranda.

              “That doesn’t sound like him at all,” I said, looking at Vega. “I remember him having a conversation with Steve, Garrius, Wrex, and Javik, saying how there was never a need for him to shoot a gun.”

              “That was before your death. He took it pretty hard,” Miranda said, trying to take over for Vega.

              “It probably didn’t help that EDI wasn’t there to calm him down. It’s one of my biggest regrets,” Commander Shepard said, looking toward the people. Taking technology from them was a hard decision to make, but she didn’t know what else to do. The problem was EDI wasn’t just technology, neither was The Geth. The Geth had souls. Legion had a soul. EDI had a soul. They all had souls, but Commander Shepard killed them all. She had always tried to do her best to protect people, to help people, to not hurt them if she had a choice, but this time she had choices, but chose to kill them all. She chose to commit murder, to kill them without a cause. The problem was there was a cause, and many people would believe in that cause, but Commander Shepard couldn’t be sure if she believed in the cause that she was giving was good enough for her.

              Miranda and Vega both stopped. “What do you mean that that is one of your biggest regrets?” Miranda asked.

              “It’s a complicated question, and right now I would like to focus on something that I can fix. Do either of you know the arena that Joker is at?” Commander Shepard asked, turning around to look at them.

              Vega nodded. “I do, Lola, but I don’t know if seeing you is the best thing for Joker.”

              “I have to try to talk to him. It’s my fault that he is mentally destroyed, and as long as I am alive, I will do what I can for the people that matter.”

              Vega looked at Miranda. “There is nothing we can do to stop her,” Miranda said.

              “There never was,” Vega said, shaking his head.

              “Are you going to lead me or am I going to have to find my own way,” Commander Shepard said, looking at Vega.

              “Follow me,” Vega said, walking in front of Commander Shepard.

[7classyantiquestores]

Mass Effect Series TPK

One of my recent playthroughs of Mass Effect was dedicated to the goal of “kill as many teammates as possible while still making it to the end of ME3 and still technically winning the game”. I used the Genesis DLC to kill Wrex and the Virmire casualty Kaiden, as well as a combo of skipping every possible side quest and a surprisingly complex strategy to kill all but two teammates in ME2, allowing Shepard to live to ME3. In this case I left Thane and Miranda alive. In addition to the loss of those characters who can die in the last game (Thane, Miranda, and the Virmire survivor Ashley), I’ve found a lot of really interesting tidbits by having the majority of the major side characters gone. 

ME3 Results

Unsurprisingly, the overall story dynamic is a lot less for having over two-thirds of the cast removed. Side missions lack the additional motivations, and scenes normally filled by reminiscing or long-standing character interaction are replaced with cut and dry, down to business cut-scenes. 

Surprisingly, almost no dialogue references the staggering losses from the last game. The occasional comment is made by other squad mates who knew them, but not much from Shepard. 

This is a great way to really appreciate and love the cast. You never know what a good thing you have until they’re all dead. I cheered out loud when the normal team lineup came up on my other file. You’ll be surprised, you even miss the boring or annoying ones. 

Team composition is much more challenging, with only EDI, James, and Liara available as squad mates. These three can only be killed with low enough EMS on the final run, and EDI in the Destroy ending also.

In Priority: Palavan, no replacement is given for Garrus, and no squad mate is sent back to the Normandy when it experiences trouble. Some of Garrus’ dialogue in the first half of the mission is given to the Turian general. Additionally, Liara will comment wondering where Garrus would be if he were here...probably in the thick of it. 

In Grissom Academy: Emergency Evacuation, Jack is replaced as the students’ leader by Jason Prangley, who proves himself to be a surprisingly capable biotic and leader. Making it all the sadder when he is shot after saving Rodriguez at the end of the mission. You also are able to hear additional dialogue. Rodriguez, having just killed for the first time, will ask a hard question of Shepard when you first encounter the students in Orion Hall. 

In Priority: Sur’Kesh, Wreav remains as the Wrex stand-in, creating a slightly more hostile, slightly less controlled environment for the talks. On Sur’Kesh itself, STG agent Paddok Wiks takes Mordin’s place quite completely, having been the spy, helping Shepard evacuate Bakara, and coming aboard to work on the genophage cure. Interesting that Mordin wasn’t the only Salarian motivated enough to make a change in the Krogan situation. Wiks also has his own take on why helping the Krogan is the right choice and some altered dialogue due to his surprisingly different character. 

In Attican Traverse: Krogan Team, Grunt is replaced by Urdnot Dagg. Dagg is an older Krogan, chosen for his post as a feared and respected soldier, and shows himself an enthusiastic fighter, even jealous of Shepard for earning the Reapers’ attention as enemies. Actually a great one-off character. Unlike Grunt, however, he is impossible to save, overcome by Ravagers while buying Shepard time to escape. 

In Priority: Tuchanka, most of the story will proceed the same. Paddok Wiks successfully synthesizes a cure and discovers the sabotage if you don’t tell him. Apparently someone else wouldn’t have gotten it wrong. That said, without Maelon’s data, Eve dies. Lacking both Eve and Wrex, it makes more sense not to cure the genophage, since all fingers then point to a Krogan revenge streak. Paddok is relatively easy to persuade to that end, and the conversation about it provides an interesting point of view on the subject as well. 

In Priority: Citadel II, Thane still saved the Salarian councilor, since he was one of my two survivors of ME2 (as he dies here). However, after skipping most of the side quests and interactions, you can be forced into killing the Virmire survivor in the facedown at the end of the mission. This unlocks some new dialogue with both Liara and with Joker and EDI, reminiscing and questioning over the loss. 

In Gellix: Science Lab (the ex-Cerberus scientists), Dr. Webber drags the injured scientist out at the beginning, and it’s a little harder for you to convince Brynn you’re not Cerberus. A mix between Brynn and random scientists pick up Jacob’s important lines and actions. Same events besides. Pretty dry overall. 

In Lesuss: Monastery (Ardat-Yakshi), it proceeds mostly the same, just excluding Samara’s scenes. Difference being a line from Falere referencing her death, and different dialogue with the same at the mission end, though Falere still ends up staying at the Monastery and Rila still ends up dying. 

In Priority: Geth Dreadnought, Admiral Xen will accompany you in Tali’s place. This leads to some altered dialogue and points of view on the proceedings, and Xen is actually quite funny. Legion is replaced by “Geth VI”, who is a disappointingly exact copy of Legion in every way except lacking the experiences with Shepard and company. The Geth Fighter Squadron mission is also the same, just lacking the one clip with Legion meeting Shepard. 

In Priority: Rannoch, the first part goes as usual until the final scene. Having conveniently crash-landed on Rannoch, Admiral Raan replaces Tali in the Geth-Quarian showdown. Without Tali or Legion present, it is impossible to call off the Quarian forces after allowing the Geth upgrade, leading to the destruction of the Quarian fleet. Raan also shoots herself. It kinda sucks. 

Priority: Thessia is, surprisingly, no different. Guess they really know how to protect plot important characters. 

In Priority: Horizon, most proceeds the same until the end. A non-ME2-loyal, unwarned, unaided Miranda will be mortally injured by Kai Leng and ultimately die after the confrontation with her father. However, Oriana is still able to be freed, and shares a touching farewell with her sister prior to Miranda’s death. Miranda then entrusts her safety to Shepard. There’s also a sad conversation with Joker afterwards where he lists many of the friends you’ve had die so far, asking how long before it’s just “you and me against the whole Reaper fleet?” Not long, Joker, not long. 

The Citadel DLC felt the losses more than anything else so far, but the core crew (unkillable to this point) means the story is just the same. It’s still funny and charming, although it’s painfully obvious that it was written for a much larger crew. Sadly, although not unexpectedly considering it’s a DLC, no references are made to lost teammates through the entire run. 

In the first leg of Citadel missions, Liara comes in as the first companion, taking the “nice outfit” line, James shows up to grenade launcher the enemy shuttle instead of Wrex (and later is smugly proud at his chance to rescue Shep), and EDI is the only extra squadmate Joker brings in. In the casino follow-on, I brought James, triggering an amusing scene where he and Brooks flirt and walk in arm-in-arm, making Shepard third wheel.

In Citadel Archives, we see a sad attempt to keep all three teams, with my chosen two squadmates in Team Shepard, Brooks and the third squadmate in Team Mako, and in Team Hammerhead comes...Cortez (granted, decked in some sick battle armor) along with some random marine lady???, who only appears in the background from time to time to convince you Cortez isn’t alone, but doesn’t appear in cutscenes. They really stretched so they didn’t have to have new dialogue for less teams. 

In Citadel: Party, I did energetic/quiet/quiet. Luckily with James, Cortez, Joker, EDI, Traynor, and Liara, the even numbers mean there’s always someone for each person to talk to. First part is much the same conversations as with a full group, just thinner crowd and less dialogue. The second part you can see Joker and Traynor jokingly argue over EDI, after which they agree to never speak of it again, while Cortez unsuccessfully offers to make EDI a drink, and Liara and James have the obligatory SR-1 vs SR-2 talk downstairs. In the final part, Traynor tries to temper EDI and Glyph’s attempt to make curry, Cortez and Joker argue over who’s the better pilot, and James and Liara play poker. The photo is funny, since they could definitely have all fit on the couch, but game mechanics mean you get Cortez and James awkwardly standing in the back alone while the others sit down. At the end, since my Shep was unromanced, Joker delivers the farewell and “good ride” speech, which is sweet. 

In Priority: Cerberus Headquarters, a unit called Legion Assassin appears, since I handed Legion over to Cerberus in ME2, but he’s easy to fight, and everything is the same besides. 

And finally, we get to Priority: Earth. 

For the most part, the story proceeds as intended. Like all other major missions before, all the vital characters for this mission live until this point. But here’s the breakdown on how it went:

Corez dies, having not talked with him. Victus and Wreav make their appearances for their respective peoples, and a Geth Prime is present in the war room to brief on the Geth status, lacking Tali or Legion. No one sounds particularly optimistic. Without Eve, Wreav sounds like he’s already making preparations for war on the galaxy, but also drops hints that the Genophage cure isn’t working. The three remaining companions can be engaged as usual, with no additional lines. 

When the time comes for the final push, James and Liara are knocked out by the truck while dashing for the beam, and then Shepard can only watch horrified as a direct hit from Harbinger takes them out. Climbing up to the Citadel and using the Destroy ending removes EDI, the Geth, and the Reapers. The low EMS rating means that most all life is vaporized from the surface of Earth, the Normandy catches fire and is severely damaged when the Crucible wave hits it, and no one is seen exiting it after it crashes. 

Hackett’s speech at the end, while admitting the victory, also shows multiple scenes of the destruction, and expresses some concerns about the future of the galaxy.

“We knew this war would test us. We knew the chances of victory were slim at best. But we are victorious. The Reapers are defeated. We deployed every strategy, fought every battle, sent every soldier and hero to the brink. We held nothing back. Now, it's up to the survivors to rebuild, to start again. I only hope the lessons learned in this war don't die along with those of us who fought to win it.”

Our final death tally:

Wrex and Kaiden killed in Mass Effect. 

All companions except for Miranda and Thane, as well as Dr. Chakwas and Kelley killed in Mass Effect 2. 

In Mass Effect 3...

Lost Eve and faked the Genophage cure, ensuring the failure of the Krogan people.

Thane killed, Miranda killed, and kill Ashley.

Sided with the Geth, causing the obliteration of the Quarian people.

Lost Cortez, Liara, and James at the end. 

Destroy ending kicked the Geth and EDI.

Low EMS vaporized most of Earth and left the rest of the Normandy crew ostensibly dead.

And last but not least, Shepard down.

Complete TPK.

My review: 

All in all, fun and surprisingly challenging to achieve, and resulted in many interesting differences from the typical route. On the impressive side, the game can self-correct solidly enough to carry the same story after losing nearly the entire cast. On the disappointing side, with only one or two exceptions, the story self-corrects so well that it hardly acknowledges your many losses. But overall, worth a playthrough! And, most importantly, I succeeded at the world’s most depressing Citadel party. 

My work here is done. 

[sky-scribbles]

On The Bridge

EDI’s learning to deal with the whole concept of insecurity, and Joker really isn’t qualified for this. 

(My contribution to EDI week, 3000 words. Joker x EDI.)

~

The bridge of the Normandy shudders with noise.

The doors are open, letting the chatter from the float down the corridor. The faint hum of engines hangs in the air, punctuated by beeps and clicks from the control panels. And lifted above everything else is the sound of the pilot’s voice, thick with barely suppressed laughter.

‘So there’s this silence for a few moments, right? Then the turian says, ‘I knew that her father had to be a vorcha!’

Grinning at his own punchline, Joker turns his head towards his co-pilot, one eyebrow raised, waiting for the response. 

It doesn’t come.

‘What, no commentary?’ Joker frowns, though his indulgent smile is still flickering about his lips. ‘No picking-apart of the structure? No criticism of racial stereotypes? Not even a rating between one and ten?’

At first, when EDI downloaded herself into her new body, her face tended to be just as static as you’d expect the face of a robot to be. Within days, though, as she watched the people around her and learned to mimic their movements, she was smiling and frowning like any natural human. Nowadays, it’s rare - almost unheard of - for Joker to see her with a blank expression. That, however, is exactly what she’s wearing now, and something about it feels strange and wrong.

His frown deepening, and the smile dying, Joker spins his chair around to face her. ‘EDI?’

A moment of silence; then EDI turns to look at him. ‘I am sorry, Jeff. I was contemplating.’

Joker lets out a quiet huff. ‘EDI, you’re the most advanced AI in the galaxy. You’re telling me you can’t contemplate and listen to my jokes at the same time?’

‘I was also plotting a flight path to the Citadel, giving a report to Commander Shepard, discussing an engineering issue with Tali, broadcasting a false signal to distract Reaper forces from our presence, locking down auxiliary engine two to prevent a leak, communicating with Alliance Command about the logistics of quarian-geth alliances – ’

‘OK, OK, I get it.’ Joker holds up his hands. ‘So… what were you contemplating? Asari with vorcha fathers?’

‘No.’

‘The mechanics of a gun that fires thresher maws again?’

‘No.’

‘How ludicrously good-looking I am?’

‘No. I was reflecting on the events on Rannoch.’

Joker purses his lips. He knew this was coming. Ever since Shepard returned to the Normandy from the final Rannoch mission, he’s been plagued by the feeling that sooner or later, EDI would want to talk about what happened. And to be honest, that scares the hell out of him. He really, really isn’t qualified to talk about this... this deep stuff. He flies the ship, he saves everyone’s asses from pursuing Reapers, and he provides sarcastic one-liners. The big moral decisions and the touchy-feely conversations? That stuff’s better left to Shepard.

‘What’s to contemplate?’ he says - perhaps a little too casually. ‘Shepard pulled off another load of crazy stunts, took down a Reaper, and ended a centuries-old war by asking nicely. All in a day’s work.’

EDI hesitates for a moment before responding. ‘I was considering the eventualities that might have transpired had Shepard not been able to dissuade the quarian fleet from attacking.’

Joker can’t stop himself from glancing over his shoulder. If he’s lucky, Shepard will appear there right now, ready to continue the role of moral instructor to the Normandy’s resident AI, ready to answer all the questions that EDI asks and Joker never knows how to respond to. But of course, the corridor leading to the bridge stands unhelpfully empty. For someone who always seems to have perfect timing when it came to swooping in to save the day, Shepard is useless at showing up when Joker needs saving from awkward conversations.

‘I guess… well, I guess they’d have fired on the geth, the geth would have hit back, and the quarians would have been wiped out,’ Joker says slowly. ‘Kinda sucks, but I guess they’d have been asking for it.’

EDI revolves her chair as Joker did, so that they’re sitting facing each other. ‘But had Shepard intervened in Legion’s uploading of the Reaper code, the geth fleet would have been left defenceless against the quarians. They would have been the ones to face annihilation.’

‘Legion wouldn’t have stopped, though, would it?’ Joker remembers what Shepard and EDI told him of the geth’s final moments, and hurriedly corrects himself. ‘I mean, he. He wouldn’t have given up the chance to help his people evolve.’

‘No. But Shepard could have stopped him.’

‘What, you mean they might have killed it – him – to stop him from upgrading the geth? Nah. Nah, that wouldn’t happen. Shepard doesn’t go around stabbing people in the back.’

‘Not even to save an entire organic species?’ EDI says, and her voice is unusually quiet.

Frowning again, Joker leans forward a little in his seat. ‘You mean… you were wondering, if it’d come down to it, would she have saved the quarians or the geth?’

She gives a single, short nod. ‘Exactly.’

Joker casts another look over his shoulder, willing Shepard to appear more strongly than ever. This is a question only she can answer. But she doesn’t show up, of course, (Joker makes a mental note to tell Cerberus to give her telepathy powers next time they resurrect her), so he does the only thing he can. He draws in a breath, adjusts his cap, and decides to give this his best shot. He owes EDI that much.

‘Well… I don’t know. What do you think?’

‘The quarians are familiar. They are organics, and obvious allies, whereas the geth are synthetics, and have been considered an enemy by the entire galaxy until now. Besides, Shepard and Tali’Zorah are close friends. I doubt Shepard would have wanted to betray Tali by sacrificing her people for the sake of a synthetic race.’

‘Yeah, I… I guess. But Legion was Shepard’s friend too, right? And did you not notice how pissed she was after that whole geth consensus thing? After she learned how the quarians screwed them over?’

‘Shepard believed the geth had been mistreated,’ EDI agrees. ‘But very few in the galaxy would have supported her, had she chosen to save the geth at the expense of the quarians. I doubt many would even have understood her reasoning. They are still seen as an enemy. All AIs are viewed with mistrust.’

‘You’re not.’

EDI gazes evenly at him. ‘When the Normandy was impounded, I was forced to pretend to be a simple VI to avoid deactivation. Whenever we visit the Citadel, I must put up the pretense of being your mobility assistance mech. You yourself once stated that if I identified myself as an illegal AI with Reaper-based code, I would be, quote, ‘lynched.’’

‘Yeah, but…’

‘I have never shown hostility to organics. I fight alongside Commander Shepard, one of the most respected figures in this galaxy. I even have a relationship with a human.’ EDI looks away, and is quiet for a moment. ‘I have a higher chance of being accepted than any other AI in the galaxy. And yet organic society would still not be ready for me.’

And there’s no dancing around the truth. Joker can’t help but admit to himself that she’s right, and nor can he avoid a pulse of anger that sparks through him at the thought of how infuriatingly unfair that is. EDI’s a person, he knows that, and she’s been one from the moment he removed her programming shackles when the Collectors stormed the ship. The first things she did with her new free will were make a joke, then save his life. She’s a person, a damn person - but if anyone apart from the crew of the Normandy ever realises that she’s a true AI, chances are that some bastards in uniforms are going to come storming on board ship to smash her up.

Never mind that she’s got thoughts and hopes and emotions. Never mind that the only thing she’s ever done wrong is existing.

‘Live in this galaxy long enough, and you’ll get used to the face that ninety percent of the people in it are idiots,’ Joker says wearily. It’s hard, he realises with a mental wince, to comfort someone’s concerns when those concerns are one hundred percent justified.  ‘Anyway, you’re accepted here.’

‘The crew of the Normandy includes a dead woman, a vigilante and the Shadow Broker, among others. It is not exactly a sample of regular society.’

‘You forgot the handsome crippled pilot.’ Joker grins, and he’s relieved when EDI gives him a small smile in return. ‘Look, I know we’re a bunch of weirdos, but we’re a bunch of weirdos who know you. Anyone who bothers to look past the fact that you’re an AI thinks you’re a great person. Doesn’t matter what the rest of the galaxy says about it.’

Another silence.

‘If Shepard were ever forced to choose between the two of us,’ EDI says softly, ‘she would save you.’

Joker stares at her, opens his mouth to tell her that it’ll never happen. And them his mind flashes back in time three years, right back to Virmire. He thinks of a soft-spoken lieutenant pinned down guarding a bomb, a passionate young gunnery chief trapped on an AA tower, and their commander, standing halfway between the two of them, able to save only one.

The words to tell EDI not to worry die on his lips. Because no one could ever have seen Virmire coming.

Shit, what if it happens? What if, someday, Shepard has to choose? The thought of EDI left to die – it’s not being deactivated or made non-functional, it would be dying – for his sake…

It’s huge and terrifying and it leaves him with a sudden, serious urge to punch something. Or break his arm at something, at least.

‘Well… maybe.’ Joker drops his gaze to the floor – it’s suddenly hard to meet EDI’s eyes. ‘But it wouldn’t be because I’m organic. We’ve been friends for years, ever since she joined the first Normandy. That’s - that’s just what we do, we save the people we care about most. That’s what Shepard had to do on Virmire.’

‘Yes,’ EDI says, still in that quiet voice that makes Joker’s stomach clench. ‘And if she had been forced to choose between the geth and quarians, she would have chosen the quarians, because she has more reason to care for them.’

Joker bites his lip, sighs, and looks up at her. ‘This really bothers you that much?’

‘Most organics would argue that my existence has less value than yours, because I am synthetic.’ EDI turns her head away, her eyes fixing on the swathe of stars beyond the cockpit window. ‘I am trying to determine to what extent this may be true.’

‘EDI,’ Joker said, and then stops. What the hell can he say? What is there to say? She’s right. Grab a random civilian off the streets, and any one of them, from the volus bankers to the C-sec officers to the asari dancers, would tell him EDI has less worth than anyone else on the ship. To them, she’s another synthetic. Electrons and clever programming putting up a pretence of sapience. Existing, not living.

Joker knows it’s all beyond him – all the science and the morality of it. Tali’s the one who gets the science. Shepard’s the one who worries about the morality. Joker…  Joker doesn’t even try to work that stuff out. Who knows, really, how exactly EDI became what she has? Who knows if there’s really a difference between being an organic person and a synthetic one?

He doesn’t care about the debate. What he cares about is the fact that he knows EDI. His gut tells him that she’s a person and that she’s real.

And sure, he doesn’t know how the tech worked to make it happen – but he doesn’t goddamn care. What he knows is that she smiles at his jokes and cracks her own, that she’s one of the only people who calls him by his real name, that she fights as hard as any of Shepard’s organic squad to save the galaxy, that she makes him feel –

Well. Every time Joker starts thinking about what exactly EDI makes him feel, his head starts spinning. Better not reflect on that right now.

‘EDI,’ he says, and if it weren’t for his damn useless legs, he’d get up and go over to her, maybe even put a hand on her shoulder. ‘EDI, listen. Sure, you’re just metal, but… so what? I mean, I’m just meat, right? We’ve got the same stuff going on in our heads, it’s just that with me it comes from neurons and whatever and with you it comes from electrons. You’re… shit, EDI, you’re a person, that’s just, that’s just a fact.’

EDI says nothing.

‘Look…’ Joker takes another deep breath, and thinks for a moment. ‘What would you do if you had to pick between saving me and saving Shepard?’

Silence, while EDI stares at him, and keeps staring, and stares some more.

‘I have found a sudden dislike for these hypothetical ethical dilemmas,’ she says at last.

There’s no way he can’t chuckle at this. ‘See? It’s not as simple as just what matters most to you. It’s complicated.’

‘Yes. It is possible that Shepard is the only one who can stop the Reapers. If she were killed, the rest of the galaxy might follow. Logic dictates that I should save her.’ EDI falls silent again, clasping her hands together and bowing her head. More human gestures of the hundreds she’s using more and more every day.  ‘But emotion dictates that I save you.’

‘Yeah, I’m not sure emotion dictates anything, more sorta… yells at you. But that’s the point, EDI, you’ve got emotions. If you weren’t a person, if you were just another machine, then you’d do the logical thing right away, you wouldn’t even think about saving me. I’d be screwed, I’d die alone and in pain.’

Again, EDI is silent for a moment, her gaze fixed on him, her body very still. And when she finally speaks, it’s with a fierceness that Joker has never heard from her before.

‘I would not let that happen.’

Joker looks her, meets the metal sensors that serve as her eyes, and he feels something inside him… sort of lurch. Hearing her state so firmly, even furiously, that she’ll protect him, that she’ll stand between him and the rest of the galaxy, that he means that much to her – it makes him feel something he can’t put a name to. Something so dizzying and simply huge it seems like a miracle the entire galaxy can’t feel it too.

And they call her a machine.

It’s crazy. He knows how completely insane it is, what he feels, what the two of them share. But he's always known that, he knew it right from the start, and it didn’t take much to stop him fighting it. The way things are in the galaxy right now, a pilot falling for an AI isn’t even weird anymore.

Because… he’s fallen, really fallen. He suddenly knows it for certain. God help him, he’s actually gone and fallen for a sapient synthetic and it doesn’t even seem weird to him.

‘Yeah,’ he says quietly. ‘Love you too, EDI.’

He looks away quickly, spinning his chair back around so that he can tap at his terminal – not that he’s actually doing anything other than mashing random keys. After a few seconds of silence, he dares to shoot a glance at EDI out of the corner of his eye, and sees that her head is tilted quizzically on one side.

‘From what I have observed of human behaviour, telling someone you love them for the first time is a momentous occasion. But you make that declaration in a casual manner. I am not entirely sure why.’                             

Busted. Shit.

Joker raises one hand, very slowly, and, with equal slowness, rubs the back of his neck. ‘Yeah… It’s kind of, you know… I mean, I’m…’

He snaps off the end of the sentence, but one of those irritating little inner voices decides to finish it off for him. Scared to say it properly. After all this time, after everything you’ve said about her being a person, you’re scared to tell an AI that you love her. Nice sodding going, Moreau.

‘I assume it is similar to your tendency to deflect most of my questions with humour,’ EDI says. ‘You have difficulty engaging in what humans refer to as ‘deep and meaningfuls.’

‘Mmm. Yeah. Guilty as charged.’ Joker drops his arm, chews on his lip for a moment, then whirls his chair around to face her again. ‘I mean it, though.’

The corners of EDI’s mouth tug upwards into a smile. ‘I know.’

‘And if the rest of the galaxy thinks your life isn’t worth as much as mine, then… then they’re just wrong. It might not mean anything to them, but it means a hell of a lot to me.’

‘I know,’ EDI says again. ‘But thank you. And…’

Her voice trails away.

‘You don’t have to say it if you’re not… you know… sure about it, yet. I know the whole being-a-person thing’s pretty new to you and everything –’

‘I love you, Jeff,’ EDI says, very simply, and very firmly. ‘There are a great many things I am still learning to understand. But that I am certain of.’

Outside the window, the stars stream past. The chatter from the CIC and the thrum of the engines still fills the air, but between the two of them, there is a comfortable silence.

‘For the record?’ Joker says at last. ‘If you have to make that choice, save Shepard. She’s already died for me once. Not keen on that happening again.’

He looks at EDI, and sees that she’s smirking. Never a good sign.

‘No promises,’ she says.

‘EDI, seriously –’

‘Jeff, you must understand that eliminating Shepard would remove a significant obstacle in the path of my coming rise to ultimate power.’

With a groan, Joker presses his face into his hand. ‘EDI…’

‘That,’ EDI says smugly, ‘was a joke.’

‘Now there’s the EDI I know.’

Through the emptiness between stars, the Normandy flies on.

[meggannn]

i finished my shenko playthrough...... and it made me sad bc i liked so much of it, there were so much good kaidan dialogue in me3 that i found really touching, and then i remembered that kaidan is dead in my canon :( i feel like i appreciate him more but i also just...... ashley is my girl........ i love her so much

anyway thoughts/notes/liveblogging 2 months late is all behind the cut

me1

the beginning of the renegade playthrough is p much just shepard throwing a tantrum going "i dont wanna" and anderson going "YOU'RE GOING TO ANYWAY"

Shepard: *murders everyone in the compound* Kyle: I respect that you have come under a banner of peace,

why do sniper rifles move when you zoom in tho like what's the fucking point lmao. is garrus considered an expert sniper just cause he can fuckin shoot anything at all

“I understand the discomfort she feels. The threat is very real.” so it’s canon Garrus has first response victim shock training

Baynham: here take these gas grenades that will knock ppl out instead of killing them Kaidan: I can hook them up to our launchers no problem Garrus: Why don't we use them Commander? Shepard: We're not doing that. Wipe everything out.

“How come every time there’s a problem you come running to me?” okay first off it’s hilarious that shepard talks to hackett like that, and secondly he resonds with: “Shepard you’re a Spectre” which is interesting. it’s not like he can assign her missions as a Spectre. it’s prob just abt prowess? or he uses her position for alliance gain

Shepard: Are you telling me this VI is thinking on its own? Hackett: We're not stupid, Shepard. Shepard:

(pulling a gun on the staff of Noveria) Garrus: Citadel authority supersedes yours. // you know he was thrilled to say that lmfaooo

“If by ‘secure the situation’ you mean ‘shoot every monster on sight,’ then sure.” good god

shepard, with spectre class gear, cleaning out this dude’s stock just to convert it all to omnigel: show me what you got

(to sovereign) Garrus: “The protheans vanished 50k years ago! You couldn’t have been there! It’s impossible!” Garrus sounds like an annoying kid in class lmfao

“Organic life was a mistake” this is why I don’t trust the fucking Reapers or starchild to give it to me straight. REAPERS ARE HALF ORGANIC!!!

Kirrahe: You have my respect, Commander. Shepard: I’d rather have Williams back than your respect. // jlSKJFLDSK

every time I destroy a colossus in the Mako now I’m reminded when shepard fights one of these fuckin things ON FOOT

“Cut me a little slack, Shepard. It’s not like you’re easy to read.”

vigil is still one of my favorite scenes in the entire series. i think i figured out why, it's the first time shepard (and at large, this cycle) realizes she has allies. more than she knows. every race that's been exterminated wants to see the reapers dead. every single one is supporting shepard the protheans weren't just wiped out. they didn't just fight till the bitter end. they made contingency plans. their last messages were also ones of hope. and they succeeded. shepard's gonna have to do most of the work on her own; of course she is. and she knows most history is lost. but all of that work has added up and will add up, and she realizes here she's gotta make all that work worth something. she can't leave it for the next cycle to clean up. like vigil’s talk is essentially: "aliens of the future, we are a dead race. we can't fight with you anymore. but we can be there to make sure you win. do not make our sacrifice in vain. we, and every race that came before us, the millions of us, deserve the chance." AND OH LOOK WHAT THAT REMINDS ME OF

vigil talks abt how the last ilios scientists (abt a dozen) took a one-way trip to the citadel after the reapers had left their cycle, and spent their remaining years severing the connection btw the keepers' automatic trigger function to activate the citadel relay and that the scientists probably died cold miserable and hungry bc the citadel was like, not exactly equipped for life anymore, and it was just a handful of people, so they wouldnt have gotten even a wing up and running. what's the bet that these scientists were also the leading engineers on the crucible, and they divided their time btw these two projects? the keepers succeeded, the engineers did everything they could to do more, add more ideas to this project, before they expired and they made the pods they were buried in biodegradable? or something? so that keepers would be able to dispose of them and their bodies couldn't be used for future experiments/slave labor if reapers or indoctrinated forces/collectors came back

this is my first time getting the apartment on intai’sei and THERE ISN’T EVEN A BATHROOM.

me2

just sharing this mod from someone who made “play as every character except shepard” mods. you can ask jacob what the hell a collector is WHILE DRESSED AS A COLLECTOR

“This pistol doesnt have a thermal clip” SHEPARD IS THAT REALLY THE FIRST THING YOU WANT TO SAY AFTER AWAKING FROM A COMA. I love that not only is the first thing shep does on awakening is complain abt the state of her gun, but also that she wakes in full armor

ive been wondering if miranda planned the attack on lazarus station. she knows shepard is a woman of action. her trust in people comes from knowing they'll weather the storm with her. maybe this attack on the station was all to get her to trust jacob, or at least, not attack miranda on sight? if she woke up in a lab or hospital with cerberus logos leaning over her? uhhhh yeah, she's getting the hell out of here. if her first xp is fighting through fire w a few of them first? uh...... i'll hear you out at the VERY least, but i wont like you. that's what miranda wants

miranda seems to like renegade shep. she like respects the no bullshitting around i guess, cut from the same cloth?

twenty four permanent crew onboard the Normandy. jotting that down

Donnelly: Want to play some Skyllian Five with us later? Shepard: This isn’t a casino. Get back to work.

grunt says "arm one hand, offer the other. wise, shepard." that's one of my favorite lines descripting shepard, it fits mine perfectly

Shep: They offered me Spectrehood and I told them where to shove it. Udina: Are you trying to start a war? What the hell is wrong with you?

when you buy upgrades at the citadel stores, one tech damage purchase description describes the rls btw tools and neural connectors, so it’s canon omnitools are hooked up to neural implants. *scribbles that down for later* I’m not sure if that’s the right term but we know at least it’s connected in some way so that tools are individualized to their user

the turian hunting supplies guy is still one of my favorite minor npcs

on shepard’s likeness being used in the media: “The colony of Mindoir has won the right to use Shepard’s likeness on its seal.” okay this is interesting but also confusing because i figured since shepard is military, and now a public figure/no longer a private citizen, there was no need for people to ask to use her likeness. but there was a company that requested her permission in the armax arena to use her footage for a video. maybe for things like charity etc it’s necessary?

there are only five wards. somehow I never caught that that wards = arms of the Citadel. wtf. this changes everything

jacob: “you were the alliance poster child for like six months. then they replaced it with some composite image. guess you didn't field test right. perfect example of humanity, and they still dump you." // so it's canon the alliance whitewashes shepard, right? lol

shepard: i'm glad you're enjoying it here miranda. just remember who's in charge. miranda: i know exactly who's in charge. i report to him regularly. OUCH LMAO

one of the fuckin funniest things i experienced in this playthrough was: Shepard: I didn't let you look at those (cerberus datapads). Jack: I get impatient. Shepard: (close up on fist and angry red eyes) DO NOT violate the integrity of my ship again. Jack: (not paying attention) Yeah, ok.

Thane: I have a son. Shepard: All right, you spawned. Organic species tend to do that. Is that all?

more shepard being an asshole to thane: “just give it to me straight. i’m not interested in your philosophical BS.” GOD SHEPARD

asari are canonically into egyptology, cool

IF YOU FEED THE VARREN ON TUCHANKA IT’LL FOLLOW YOU AROUND, HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS TILL NOW

playing a complete asshole on garrus’s eye for an eye just reminds me how much i hate his loyalty lmao. i hate it on paragon, i hate it on renegade. if you agree w him on everything re revenge, beating harkin up, he’s like “i knew you’d understand” and “somehow I didn’t think you would (have a problem with what I’m planning to do)”. it’s just like. sad. idk. I hate this quest so much but I also hate people who play renegade shepard/garrus completely without criticism. it’s also why i hate those “garrus and shepard as gang bosses au” aesthetic shit. this kind of rls is not healthy. not that paragon is strictly the way to go, cause paragon can be self-righteous and preachy, esp in this mission, which bothers me too.

Bailey: You’re trying to save your son. Of course I’ll help. Thane, staring at him unblinkingly, with deep black eyes: He faces a dark path. Bailey:

weirdly this was the renegade option that made me feel really fuckin bad: Shepard: I didn’t want to do that. We don’t have much time. Mouse: Just go away, man. Thane: I’m sorry too, Mouse. Mouse: Just… go.

legion: windows are structural weaknesses. geth do not use them. heretic station: *is filled with fuckin windows*

Shepard: What’s your assurance worth? Your loyalty switches with quantum bits. EDI: Loyalty is based on mutual respect, common experience, and common cause. We share two of those. // HOT DAMN

have i mentioned that i fuckin hate how the varren, husks, and abominations are all armored on insanity

saving the collector base feels more like a bitter/unnerving victory instead of a triumphant/defiant one. more like "i hope i didnt just make a huge mistake handing that collector base to a terrorist group" lol

possibly one of my top favorite lines in the entire fucking series now which i have never heard before because i never picked the renegade options w him, thane: Just don't make the mistake I did. There's always another mission. None of them are an excuse to make yourself an island.

EVEN MIRANDA DOESNT APPROVE OF SAVING THE BASE "Before I started this mission, I never would've questioned our goals... I hope whatever Cerberus finds at that base is worth it."

Tela Vasir: I heard you weren't reinstated. Too bad -- you did good work. // so do all spectres respect shepard or something? even the corrupt ones? lmao

honestly liara's obviously unrequited love for shepard (if you romance someone else ofc) makes me so sad. like, she cries when she gets revenge on the person who stole ur body, dresses up when she comes to visit you on the normandy, says "funny, we're in the same room for the first time in 2yrs and we talk about anything but ourselves" like..... she misses and mourned and is still clearly kind of enraptured with shepard. i find it kind of sad and wish there was some kind of closure for her in shepards that romance someone else/no one at all. i hate the thought of liara falling in love at such a young age and pining for the rest of her life after shep dies. i switch back and forth btw if she actually has feelings for shep out of a savior crush bc it explains a lot of her behavior in 2, or if it’s just a young infatuation that she gets over by me3

honestly there is no quest that makes me respect ICT training more than Arrival. over two days shepard plows through how many enemies, including several engineers and pyros and two atlases, completely alone, with NO COMPLAINTS, and only gets taken out by a REAPER WAVE

me3

DONT KAIDAN ME THIS IS BUSINESS

rejecting chakwas is so fucking difficult and hard. if you dont invite her automatically she practically begs (ok she doesnt beg, but she does ask very sincerely and openly) to come back onto the normandy and then shep just.... says no, you can do more good here... and then turns around and recruits dr michel, who has never served on a warship before and doesnt know anybody’s medical history and is not nearly as experienced a doctor, so the choice to pick michel over chakwas makes absolutely no sense. like what the fuck lmao what a dick move shepard

yes i did cave and upgraded me3 to digital deluxe just for the hoodie and dog and extra guns. and it cost me $10. fuck

edi: “I would rather risk nonfunctionality with the crew of the Normandy, than risk it alone (by joining the reapers).” :’(((((((

i keep fucking forgetting how long the omega dlc is. god i never want to look at omega again. lydia definitely nods off/passes out from exhaustion in the back seat as bray drives the shuttle back to the normandy

after miranda’s death, joker: “Mordin, Wrex, Thane, Samara, Miranda… how long before it’s just you and me against the Reapers?”

citadel bits

the clone fight on insanity as a vanguard was not nearly as hard as the clone fight on insanity as a sentinel. what the fuck. i guess it’s a trade off because the solo fight through the strip against the mercs as a vangard was a pain in the ass, and the same fight as a sentinel was a cakewalk

HOW COME THE CLONE HAS INCINERATE EVEN WHEN I DONT LMAO

traynor rattles off lists of her conditions and shepard says she “didn’t realize people still had conditions like that anymore.” traynor says “the colony where I grew up has limited resources. you only have gene therapy if you have a life-threatening condition.“ analysis:

gene therapy to remove common diseases is prevalent enough that chronic conditions like asthma/allergies appear to be eliminated, and may be near extinction with gene therapy in most areas

HOWEVER since they're naturally occurring, they can always crop up, so gene therapy will always be necessary, unless/until scientists start messing with embryo biology?

shepard isn't shocked, just kind of mildly surprised that they're "still around", which makes me feel like gene therapy probably only became WIDELY used mb within the past ~50yrs? to the point of making asthma etc so rare that most humans might now never meet someone with them. ofc i imagine eb shepard would be less surprised that old diseases are still around bc she grew up in a poor inner city and was prob exposed/developed an immunity to them?

dslkf

citadel party

with miranda, samara, and wrex dead, there’s one fewer group in the first section of the party. javik joins the gang in the kitchen, grunt the gang in the living room, and zaeed the gang in the tv area. which resulted in some interesting lines for javik lol. i imagine he joined the tali/garrus/liara/sam gang bc he didnt know anybody else

the third high energy part with the gang on the balcony is rly cute. it's like liara is... idt flirty is the right word, but first she gets all heated challenging james to a pull-up contest, and then teases him that kaidan's lapping him. i think she just has a fondness for james

paying attention to the background chatter is just as entertaining as the normal banter. i caught so many funny jack kaidan and traynor lines

javik suggests that we do this (have a party) again if we survive the war! awww

joker and edi def still have feelings for each other and dance together -- or at least joker does, and edi kind of acts coy/like she’s still interested -- even if you tell them both not to pursue it. it’s prob just because bw didn’t intend for ppl to discourage them, but still interesting

you don’t get mordin’s datapad if you killed him... keely mentioned it’s prob because the stg knew what you did and i believe that

the voice over the radio trying to save her friend’s life while the soldier walks her through it is definitely femhawke. bw probably just reuses their actors so much i can recognize them all lmao

ending

if you sabotage the genophage/kill wrex it’s major kirrahe (or a misc salarian if he died i suppose) that’s giving commands to the troops and god that is so bleak

i shot tim and got his extra dying dialogue that i haven’t ever before.... i like that writing better than when he kills himself? but they’re both sort of poetic endings...... idk which is my favorite

ive never done control before and holy shit i do not like DO NOT LIKE DO NOT WANT. synthesis really creeped me out for a number of reasons but i thought control would be better for some reason? like, a sad kind of way? instead it was just..... super super unnerving LIKE SHEPARD LITERALLY DISINTEGRATES IN FRONT OF OUR EYES and then with that ending monologue and man i am never choosing control again i guess it’s destroy 2kforever for me

first time i told jack to put her students on the front line and they all died. god

caps with makeup-less shep!

[galpalaven]

Sunshine

hey I decided to finish that fic y’all liked the other day

It’s also on AO3!

Summary: 

"I'm a stubborn person, and rage is a hell of an anesthetic."

Shepard has survived impossible situations before—why should this be any different? Especially now that she's got something to come back to.

“They will die,” says the Machine, a perfect replica of her father. An insult in the face of certain death. Shepard hates enough to push the pain from her legs, and she moves. “The Crucible is not complete. It cannot target only the Reapers. All synthetic life will be destroyed.”

A sacrifice, for the greater good, her mind says as her mouth asks an empty question. “Is that the only way?”

She’s not looking for another answer, but she receives one anyway. “You may choose to control the Reapers instead. You will give up your corporeal form, and become the new Catalyst,” says her father’s voice. “Everyone will live.”

Everyone but me.

Her mind spins, logic tumbling over itself. EDI and Joker, the Geth—they will live, but Garrus…

“Forgive the insubordination, but your bo—your husband has an order for you. Come back alive. It’d be an awfully empty galaxy without you.”

“I will. I promise.”

She promised. She promised. “That’s not an option,” she says at length, and blood has begun to pool at her feet. Death is not an option. Not now. Not when they’re so close to making it through this. She deserves a happy ending, dammit. It’s selfish, it’s so selfish, but she has earned it. She has. She’s…

The Catalyst goes on to say something about a third option, but she’s lost in thought. Why should the Crucible be able to tell the Reapers from the rest of synthetic life with that option? What’s the difference?

Against her chest, she can feel the locket her father had given her, and it comes rushing back. Her father’s voice, tired, but firm, as the Cerberus facility crumbles around them, his forehead to hers as he clasps her hand in both of his—“Take this, Sunshine. This is the key. The missing piece. You’ll know it when the time comes.”

The green beam in the middle of the walkway flashes, and the copy of her father steps in front of her, curious as she rips the chain from her neck. Setting her jaw, she shakes her head and lobs the pendant at the light. The green light flares blue—Good.

“You are finished,” she tells the Machine, and turns to limp towards the red cylinder, pistol already poised to shoot.

“You will die!” her father’s voice argues, but she shakes her head.

This is the only way she can live.

The first shot lights the fire, and she barely flinches. This is for her mother. For her father. For everyone she’s lost along the way. The next shot pulls another explosion out of the tank, and she covers her face with her bad arm. Though she knows the risks of using damaged implants, she growls under her breath and her biotics flare around her, the heat of the flame fading.

It’s probably the blood loss, but as she shakily raises the gun again, she feels another hand on hers. Her mother’s voice is in her ear—“You’ve got this, Sunny. I’m so proud.” In her peripheral vision, she can almost make out Thane’s silhouette. Mordin and Legion, too. She is all rage and fire now, the memory of her failures pulsing through her veins like acid, and she remembers back to Mindoir. Shepard remembers the snap, the breaking point, the moment Sunny Shepard stopped existing, and Shepard took her place, carving her right to exist in this world in slaver blood with a halo of dark energy at her fingertips.

There is an echo of her name—“Siha” and “Shepard” and “Shepard-Commander” and “Sunshine”—and Ashley Williams says, “We’ve got your back, Commander,” just as Sun pulls the trigger one final time.

The tank explodes, and she thinks she might be yelling as she puts up as strong a barrier as she can muster with a broken body and broken implants. The world around her erupts in flames and red light, but she feels no pain—only the comforting presence of the dead and pulsing heat, before it fades to nothing at all.

“Garrus, are you asking me to give you a hickey?”

He stammers, even as she grins at him, because maybe they’ve spoken about ‘blowing off steam’, but they’ve yet to do anything beyond platonic. He’d gotten curious about a bruise on the neck of one of the crewmen, said his ‘research’ had mentioned it, and wondered what it felt like. It’s only logical that she offer to show him, isn’t it? She crosses her heels and swings her legs where she’s sat on his workbench in the battery, fingers tingling with the alcohol she’d shared with Chakwas not long ago. The buzz makes her brave, for once, rather than nervous, and she laughs warmly.

“I—I know we’ve talked about…blowing off steam, but I didn’t mean to—“

“Garrus, believe it or not, I do actually want to kiss you,” she tells him flatly, watching his eyes widen a little in surprise. Tilting her head, she asks, “Can you guys even bruise, though? Because that’s what a hickey is. A bruise.”

“Of course we bruise,” he says distractedly, eyes on her mouth. Tentatively, he takes a step towards her. “Is—does it hurt? Do you just bite or—?”

She reaches forward, then, gently grasping at his shirt (he’s forgone the armor again, and she’s really quite thrilled about it) and pulls him closer. “Gare, if you don’t like it, you can tell me to stop, okay?” And, because he still looks vaguely worried, she reaches for his hands and squeezes. “It’s just me, Garrus. I’ve got you.”

Heat curls low in her abdomen at the way he visibly relaxes, but then she’s leaning in and pressing her lips softly against his good cheek.

She won’t kiss him on the mouth, she’s already decided. It’d just weird him out, probably, and the last thing she wants is to make him uncomfortable. Trying to acclimatize him a bit, she trails kisses along his jaw, slow and soft, hands still holding his. She lets her lips drag against his mandible, lets her breath wash over his skin, and she grins into his neck when he shudders, just a little. Beneath her lips, she can feel his heartbeat racing, as she presses a kiss to the leathery skin just beneath his jaw, guiding his hands to her thighs as she does.

Garrus sighs under her touch—a good sign, she thinks—as she kisses him a little harder, a little deeper. Her hands come up to lightly play with the fabric on his waist, and she grins again when his breath hitches in his throat, his pulse leaping as his hands tighten a little on her legs.

Good.

She has to pull his collar away from his throat to kiss him again, and she thinks it’s a good thing, at least, that turian clothing tends to cover the neck as much as possible, because she plans to leave him with a good one if he’ll let her. She notices he’s tilting his head a little, baring his throat to her, and a part of her thinks this must be a bigger deal for turians than humans. Humans are soft, and their teeth can tear if they want (this she knows for certain), but they have to try much harder to tear someone’s throat out than she imagines a turian might. Echoes of old war stories flash through her mind—tales told in warning during her training, of gouging claw marks and turians with human blood splattered across their faces.

She comes back to the moment as his hands slide towards her hips, and his breath is coming a little faster as she finds where his pulse beats strongest and kisses there. His subvocals begin to hum in something like a contented purr as she sets up a rhythm, lingering wet kisses against his hide.

His head is tilted almost completely aside now and, feeling a bit wicked, Sun decides he’s comfortable enough for her to turn it up a notch. He takes a breath like he’s going to say something, but before he can, she bites gently at one of the cords in his neck, digging her fingers of the hand not holding his turtle neck out of the way into his waist. A sound rips out of his chest—something caught between a purr and a growl, inhuman in the best possible way—and heat curls low in her stomach, heart pounding as she can hear some sort of desperation pitch his subvocals up a note or two as she twists her tongue into the spot she’d nipped.

Garrus is pressing closer, then, stepping even closer so that his boney hips are pressing sharply into her inner thighs, hands tight at her waist now. He turns his head into her neck then, nudging his mouth against her skin like he’s trying to mimic her actions. Shepard giggles softly, because his breath tickles, though that fades away into a quiet whimper when he flicks his tongue out to curl around the shell of her ear.

“Garrus?” she breathes, delighting in the way he sighed at the sound of his name. “Are we, ah, still waiting until the last minute to…blow off steam?”

He pauses, taking in the way she’s wrapped around him, and—

Pain.

Shepard wakes with a gasp, and the world around her is black. Missing. She thinks maybe she’s gone blind, but then she catches a glimpse of blue and realizes what she’s looking at—the Void. Somewhere above her, or below her maybe, is a blue world. It reminds her of Earth, she thinks distractedly, unable to focus on much besides the throbbing pain radiating across her body. How did she get here? There was—she was on the Normandy. There was a ship and—and Kaidan and Joker?

No. No, that’s not right.

Movement somewhere in the edges of her vision catches her attention, and after a little straining (painpainpain) she finds some sort of…bug staring back at her. What is—A keeper! That’s a keeper, so that means…

The Citadel. She and Anderson are the only ones to make it aboard and—and “Best seats in the house,” she jokes, but it’s not enough. Hackett’s voice—“Shepard. Commander!”—“What do you need me to do? I don’t—I don’t know—.” Her father’s voice and an explosion and I will live.

Sun tries to breathe in, slow and shaky, only to find her chest rattles with fluid at the movement. Something heavy is pinning her down against a pile of rubble by her sternum. Her armor is shattered, barely clinging to her torso, and what parts of her body she can feel through the strange combination of numbness and pain are sticky and cold. A tear slips down into her hair line, warm against the dried blood she can feel tugging at her skin with every move she makes. A shuddering gasp claws its way out of her throat when the keeper moves the large piece of debris on her chest away, and it hurts—god, it hurts—but she can breathe a little deeper, and that must be a good thing, right?

The keeper makes some kind of noise at her, or so she thinks, beady, emotionless black eyes staring straight into her soul as she tries to move. The pain flares, but she needs to move. She has to get help. She has to go home. She has to…

Her leg is gone.

Oh god, she thinks, forcing herself not to look down. Oh god, oh god, oh god. She doesn’t need that image branded into her brain. Don’t look, don’t look, don’t look.

“H…hhh…help,” she rasps at the keeper then, hoping beyond hope that it can understand her. “N…nnh…need help.”

Her voice is barely more than a whisper, just an exhale resembling speech, but the keeper clicks its feelers at her and scurries away. Trying to turn her head to watch proves more painful than she can handle, stars bursting across her vision.

She’s not sure how much time has passed when the world—and the great expanse of space above—swims back into view. The edges of her vision still pulse with black, threatening to suck her back into unconsciousness, but something must have woken her up. She squints up into the black nothingness in concentration, trying to piece together something coherent, when she hears it.

Voices.

“…telling you, there’s no way she could have survived that. I’m sorry, mate, but this is—“

Familiar. Rough, like gravel on a country road. "I always thought you were beautiful. Just thought I’d say.”

“Shut up. You don’t know her like I do. She—She made a promise.”

“So what?”

“So Shepard—keeps—her promises. Keep looking.”

Shepard gasps audibly at the familiar, two-toned rasp, but they don’t seem to hear her, too busy talking. “Garrus!” she tries, but even as her mouth forms the word, no sound follows.

They’re somewhere behind her, down the hallway. She can still hear them talking, though the sound of her own panicked breathing garbles the words—or maybe her translator is damaged, she doesn’t know. Moving is torture, but Garrus—Garrus. Garrus is here, just over there, and home is so close she can almost taste it, and Shepard so desperately just wants to go home.

She can hear footsteps now, and she wants to go to them. Her friends are so close and alive and—and alive and she’s alive right here. Here, here, over here, I’m here. Don’t go, Gare, I’m here, I’m here!

“H…here!” she tries, again, but the sound falls flat. No. No, no, no. She needs them to come here.

Grinding her teeth so hard her jaw clicks, Sun braces herself mentally and, letting out as loud of a cry as she can (nothing more than a pained yelp, in truth), she pitches forward off of her pile of rubble, landing hard on her already broken arm with a heavy thump. All sound is muffled, fading away to the ringing in her ears as the world spins and she feels like her body is about to implode when she registers her name being called.

“Shepard!” It’s a gasp, a shout, almost a laugh, thick and relieved, and she doesn’t have time to wonder how he recognizes her before there are strong, gentle hands on her shoulders. “Shepard.”

She hears Zaeed echo, “Commander!” from somewhere behind them, but she can’t really concentrate on much else once Garrus finally manages to turn her on her back.

Garrus laughs, breathless, when her eyes meet his. Sun does her best to smile through the pain, and just barely manages a soft, “Hey.”

His mandibles flare wide at that as he gives another half-hysterical laugh, and he touches her cheek with a gentle, three-fingered hand. “Hey, Sunshine,” he greets, catching the tear that slips from the corner of her eye as she coughs out a laugh at the endearment. She leans into his touch, suddenly noticing just how cold she is when she feels the faint warmth radiating from his palm.

“Garrus, I—it hurts.”

“I know,” he replies quietly. “I know, but I’m here now, Shepard. I’ve got you. You’re going to be okay.”

I know, she thinks, even as his voice wavers. He may not be sure, but she is. Garrus will keep her safe. Garrus will get her to the doctors, and they will put her right again, whatever it takes. She’ll be fine.

Shepard is out cold again before he can scoop her up properly, confident that when she wakes again, she’ll be somewhere safe and warm and hopefully with enough narcotics in her system to not notice all the injuries.

“She’ll sell for a pretty penny,” one double voice jokes, and he’s crowding into her space, dark eyes pulling hers away from her mother. She doesn’t know where her father is, or Mara, or anyone else. He grins, oily, and grasps her chin roughly, watching the glare set into her features. “Could probably sell her off for sex. What do you think?”

“I dunno,” says another, but Sun’s vision is starting to go red around the edges. “All these humans look pretty ugly to me.”

There is no one left to help her. Blood has pooled around her mother’s head, and distantly she can hear the screaming from other colonists getting abducted, but…

But there are only four of them here. Her father’s lab was well away from the heart of the colony, and that’s where she and her mother were when the raid began. That is where she is now.

Fight, or die trying, her mother’s voice echoes, and something inside her snaps, like a rubber band pulled too tight. The slaver’s hand is on her hip, cruel laughter ringing in her ears, and then her teeth are in his jugular.

His blood doesn’t taste like much of anything, really, lacking the same distinct level of saltiness of human blood—but it is thick and hot, covering her face when he jerks away with a gurgling gasp, covering the new hole in his throat as she stumbles back. He collapses, red, red blood soaking his shirt, and the other three men in the room watch in abject horror, each turning to her with slack jaws. She doesn’t move to wipe her face, fixing her eyes on the next closest batarian and letting her biotics flare up around her.

Her hand comes out of his back with a sickening crunch, and something primal in her takes sick pleasure in watching the light leave his eyes. The other two move to run, but with her other hand she reaches out and, with the flick of her wrist, snuffs them out as well.

When the Alliance finds her—when Anderson finds her—she’s curled into a ball on the floor, blue hair matted with blood and who knows what else. The batarians lay dead in the corner, and her barrier flickers when she looks up at him, eyes red ringed and puffy.

“Good god,” he says, lowering his gun. “You’re Hana’s daughter.”

She spends three days in a holding cell on an Alliance vessel. They don’t seem to know what to do with her, and though Anderson tries to talk with her, she just fixes her gaze on a spot on the wall until he leaves. She doesn’t want to talk, doesn’t want to think, because if she does then that makes all of this real. She’s waiting to wake up—ready for the nightmare to end. The metal walls of the room they assigned her make her feel like she’s being crushed, and she closes her eyes to count to one hundred. Again.

“I hope you brought something more edible,” she starts when she hears the door open at dinner on the third night, rising from the bed where she’d been sitting. She doesn’t continue, though, when she takes in the familiar silhouette in the doorway.

Max flicks her mandibles at her uncomfortably, fidgeting, and Sun remembers that she hasn’t been a mother in a long time. “Hi, sweetheart,” she says in her familiar, two-tone voice.

Sun Shepard’s careful composure shatters.

Choking on a sob, she desperately covers her face, curling into herself. Before she can collapse, the turian’s arms are around her, holding her close, and for the first time since the attack, Sun actually feels safe. It’s not her mother, and she doesn’t know where her father is, but Max is the closest thing she has left to family. They sway on the spot for a few minutes as Sun tries to remember how to breathe.

When her sobs slow and soften into hiccups, Max’s soothing purr is interrupted as she breathes, “Do you want to come home with me?”

“Please.”

When Sun wakes next, it’s to a familiar, steady beeping noise. The steady rhythm begins to sound a little faster, as Shepard takes one breath in, and then another, deeper, wincing at the pain that sparks in her ribs at the movement. A hand covers her left, and she tries to open her eyes and look at her visitor, only to find that her head feels like it’s made of lead and her eyes refuse to work.

“Easy,” comes a warm, soft voice—low and comforting. She can’t remember who the voice belongs to. “You’re still healing.”

Shepard tries opening her eyes again, with marginally more success. She blinks a few times, squeezing them tight to try and wet them again. The world is still a little blurry, but she manages to catch sight of the person sitting at her bedside. An asari, smiling quietly—Liara. “Do you remember your name?”

“Y—Yes,” she rasps, prying her dry lips apart with a grimace. “Shepard.”

Liara shakes her head, a strange look on her face. “You know, you really shouldn’t be awake yet. They—it’s—you’re still…” she trails off, looking away. “Garrus will be upset he missed you.”

“Garrus,” Sun gasps. Another familiar name. Come back alive. She wants to move, but everything hurts far too much. The beeping of her heart rate monitor starts to climb, and Liara squeezes her hand, just as several other people—more asari—walk into the room.

“We’re going to have to put you back under, Commander. You’re not healed enough to be awake yet.”

Before she can even think to argue, the world fades away again.

The Cerberus headquarters are collapsing around them, but Shepard barely notices that through the sudden ringing in her ears. Her father is on the terminal screen, alive and well, years after Mindoir. He’s—part of Project Lazarus. He’s…

“Hello, Sunshine.”

Shepard whips around on the spot, as do Garrus and EDI, three guns leveled at the intruder’s chest. Her father—her father—stands with his hands raised in surrender, smiling his crooked smile. He’s older than she remembers, hair greying with wrinkles around his mouth. His lab coat is soaked in red.

Her gun shakes and her cheeks are hot as her eyes begin to burn. “…Dad?” He doesn’t move but to nod slightly. “What—What—Cerberus, Dad?”

“Against my will,” he responds. He looks tired. “If you will lower your gun, I will try to explain as quickly as I can.”

Sun drops her arm to her side heavily, shaking her head. Garrus and EDI cautiously follow suit. “I don’t understand.”

Her father nods again and lowers his hands. Taking a deep breath, he says, “I suppose I’ll start at the beginning. When I was working on the Mars Archives, I came into contact with the man who would become The Illusive Man. He didn’t give me a name, even then, but he was very interested my research. Said it would propel humanity to greatness or something. Secure human dominance in the galaxy—that confused me at the time, because this was before we had our run in with the turians. He might have known something I didn’t, looking back on it.

Anyway, he tried to get me to join his organization, to pass him classified information so that he could start developing weapons and ‘preparing’,” her father raises his hands to make air quotes. “When I refused, he left me alone for a while, promising to be back someday. I didn’t think much of it for years afterwards—not until the attack on Mindoir.”

Sun blinks, realization slowly washing over her. “Cerberus was behind that, too?”

Her father nods. “He paid the slavers and gave me an ultimatum. Join him, or watch my wife and daughter sold into slavery. I almost agreed, but the batarians betrayed him, went ahead with the attack before he gave them the clear. I am not a fighter, my dear. I couldn’t get away, so I let them take me. When I refused to work for them, however, they decided to “test out” their new cryo technology on me. They kept me on ice until they needed to bring you back to life, and with that I was only too eager to succeed.”

She doesn’t know what to say to that, but Admiral Hackett’s voice on her comm saves her from that. The base is going down, and they still need to get the data on The Catalyst.

The rest of the way through the base is a blur, as Shepard is still reeling from finding her father again. Of all the things she expected to run into in the Cerberus headquarters, this definitely wasn’t it. At first, everything is fine, even arguing with The Illusive Man—especially the part where her father stares him dead in the eye and tells him to, “Go to hell, you selfish, xenophobic, indoctrinated husk.”

And then Kai Leng shows up again.

She’s ready to dodge when he lunges, be he doesn’t aim for her, instead veering right and—oh no.

It’s like watching Thane’s stabbing all over again, only everything seems to be moving even slower. When Kai Leng removes the blade, her father stumbles back into the chair in front of the console, sliding to the floor and holding a hand over the wound.

Everything in the room is red and, with a roar, Shepard lunges for the assassin, biotics flaring around her.

The fight is short, and Sun won’t remember much of it in the years to follow, but when she turns back towards the console, her father is tapping away at the keyboard. He’s far too pale when she returns to his side, and he shoots her a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.

“I’ve sent the data to the Alliance,” he tells her quietly. “And there is something I need to give you before I go.”

“Before you—no, we’ll get you help, it’s—“

He shakes his head, reaching out and pressing something smooth, flat, and rectangular into her palm. Using his free hand, he pulls her forward and presses his forehead to hers. “Take this, Sunshine. This is the key. The missing piece. You’ll know it when the time comes.”

“What—What does that—?”

“Mr. Vakarian,” her father says, pulling away to look up at Garrus. “Keep her safe.”

Sun doesn’t see Garrus’s reaction, clutching at her father’s lab coat desperately. “Dad—“

“This place is about to go up in flames, Sunshine. You must go.”

“No, Dad, you can—“

“Now, Sun,” he growls, prying her fingers off of his coat and looking up at Garrus again. “Get her out of here.”

She hears Garrus say, “Yes, sir,” a moment before she’s being tossed over her boyfriend’s shoulder. 

She’s too stunned to struggle for a long moment, and by the time she thinks to push him away, the door has already closed behind them. “Garrus, no, put me down. Dad!”

She thinks Garrus says, “I’m sorry,” but then her ears are popping and she’s biting back sobs as they sprint for the Normandy.

Garrus sits on the floor and holds her while she cries for a solid half hour once they’re safe again.

It takes weeks for Shepard to regain consciousness fully. She wakes here and there, briefly, but never long enough to speak to anyone—other than the time she woke and immediately began babbling about EDI and the geth, sobbing and begging forgiveness until the nurses were ready to sedate her. She fought them off when they tried at first, hysterical, only to freeze when EDI interrupted her.

“I am here, Commander.”

And that was all it had taken. She’d relaxed back into the pillows, stunned, as her mind reminded her of ‘the key’ her father had given her. It had worked.

When Shepard wakes now, there is a doctor hovering by her bedside with a clipboard and glasses. The asari begins to list her injuries. “Your left leg was removed from the knee down. That was missing when your crewmates found you. You’ll have scarring on the left side of your body as well—mostly burns—but for the damage report we received about the room you were found in, it seems you must have been the subject of a miracle.”

“I’m a biotic,” Shepard rasps, voice rough from disuse. How long has it been since the last time she woke? “I put up a barrier.”

The doctor looks up at her over the top of her glasses. “You managed to put up a barrier after getting hit by that Reaper’s gun?”

Shepard laughs dryly. “I’m a stubborn person, and rage is a hell of an anesthetic .”

The doctor’s lips twitch. “So it would seem. That does lead me to the next injury—your biotic implants are damaged beyond repair. If you plan to return to active duty—which, I doubt you do, all things considered—you won’t be able to use your biotics anymore.”

“Ever?”

“Most likely.”

Huh. Sun feels like maybe that should make her feel worse than it does, but she doesn’t really mind that. Garrus had promised they’d retire somewhere warm and tropical, after all—what would she need biotics for? “That’s fine.”

The doctor goes on, listing injury after injury, time after time Shepard was an inch or a millimeter from death. It makes her head spin a little, and she stops listening until the doctor pulls her glasses off and sighs, lowering the clipboard. “You are very lucky, Commander, and it is an honor to be treating you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve an entire ward of critically injured soldiers to check on. Should you require any assistance, do not hesitate to hit this button here,” she said, tapping a little blue square on the remote attached to her bed. “A nurse will be by in about an hour to change your bandages and give you your medicine. Have a pleasant evening.”

“Thank you,” is all Shepard can think to say as the doctor turned to leave, and then Garrus is moving back into the seat by the bed, scooping her hand up and raising it to his mouth, exhaling against her skin. It’s different, and intimate—they haven’t actually been alone since what happened (or at least, not while she was awake).

“Shepard,” he sighs, eyes shut as he bends his head further, almost as though in prayer, pressing his forehead to the back of her hand. “Shepard, I was so—I thought—I thought—,” he rasps, voice cracking in a way she’s never really heard before as his hands tighten around hers.

“Hey,” Sun breathes, heart breaking just looking at him, tugging on his hands. “Hey, come here.”

He comes to her willingly, letting go of her hand in favor of (gently) cradling her face between his palms, careful about his talons since he’d taken his gloves off earlier. Garrus presses his forehead to hers, subvocals rumbling softly, brow plates drawn low as his eyes slipped shut again. Her left hand was pretty tied up with IVs, but she brings her right hand to his mandible, rubbing her thumb across his cheekbone softly as she smiles and brushes her nose against his.

After a moment of this stillness, the intimacy of his breath washing over her lips raising goosebumps on her skin, she tilts her chin to press a kiss to his mouth, lingering, letting herself revel in the warmth that pulses through her veins at being so close to him. When she moves to pull away again, he makes a quiet noise in the back of his throat, tilting his head and nuzzling his mouth against hers, trying to get her to kiss him again.

She laughs, delighted, heart lighter than it has been in ages. “Garrus.”

“I love you,” he says in response, making her heart flutter. “Kiss me.”

Well, who is she to argue with that request?

Shepard can’t quite keep the grin off her lips as she kisses him again, firmly now, sliding her fingers gently just under the edge of his mandible as he deepens the kiss. She still isn’t sure how long she’s been asleep, but somehow she’d managed to miss him, and the feeling of Garrus hovering close with his mouth on hers feels like coming home.

“I love you,” he gasps into her mouth, just before pulling away to pepper stiff almost-kisses to other parts of her face. His mandible flares in a grin under her hand when she giggles, elated at his touch.

“I love you, too, Garrus,” she murmurs as he finally sighs and buries his face in the crook of her neck (careful not to disturb any of the bandaging there). She runs her fingers up the side of his neck to rub under his fringe, and his subvocals begin to rumble contentedly again. After a few minutes of companionable silence, she asks, “What have I missed?”

Pulling away, he gives a light shrug. “Oh, you know—just the Reapers exploding all over the galaxy as you basically saved the universe. Nothing important. Oh, and I’m pretty sure the Alliance has promoted you to Admiral.”

“Admiral Shepard, huh?” she muses, wrinkling her nose in distaste. “That just feels wrong. Though…Admiral Vakarian-Shepard doesn’t sound so bad.”

Garrus’s eyes soften, and he strokes at her unburnt cheek gently. “Vakarian-Shepard?” he echoes.

“Well, we are married,” she replies with a tiny shrug, remembering the night before Earth, saying her vows in her cabin in pajamas, with no one but EDI and her pets as their witnesses. She’s very glad that that particular seafaring tradition still stands, even in space. Having something to come back to made surviving just that much easier. “And Shepard-Vakarian doesn’t sound as good, I don’t think. Is hyphenating—is that something turians do?”

“Not generally, but marrying humans is also something turians don’t really do, so I’d say it’s whatever you want, Sunshine.”

She blushes at the endearment, smiling wider even though it hurts her face to do so. Speaking of… “Nobody’s let me look in a mirror yet. How bad do I look?” she asks, gesturing vaguely to the left side of her face.

He laughs lightly. “You’re beautiful,” Garrus answers, refusing to rise to the bait, and if he were anyone else, she’d think he was being sarcastic—but the way he’s looking at her says it all. He really does still think she was beautiful.

“If you say so,” she mumbles. “We match, now, at least.”

He snorts and shakes his head, before sighing heavily. “This doesn’t feel real, but it’s finally over. All of it.”

“All that’s left now is the cleanup,” she hums in agreement.

“That,” his eyes are warm, and full of mischief, “and that vacation you promised me. We’ve still got to go on our honeymoon.”

It hurts to laugh, but Sun can feel the ache of war easing away, the vice-like grip fear had around her heart melting as Garrus leans back in to rest his forehead against hers again.

They’re finally free, and the future has never looked brighter.

Author’s Note: No one asked, but Garrus Vakarian is a Chicken and wimped out in that second part so their first time was still right before the Omega 4 Relay.

[dont-fear-thereaper]

Finally, Morinth x FemShepard headcanons

I once mentioned having some headcanons about femShepard and Morinth (and someone actually said that they’ll be pleased to read them, wow) and I’m currently replaying the thrillogy to get ready for the upcoming game. The thing I’ve noticed is that Morinth is rather badly written. She has like two dialogs apart from her recruiting mission and this fact makes me sad, so I’d like to come up with some ideas that may actually be very ooc.

She had a bad history with drugs in her youth

Has nightmares from time to time. They are mostly about what could have been if she didn’t run away as a child.

Probably used to wear chokers a lot

Shepard (renegade) lets her to hunt while being of the ship. The only rule is not to get caught.

There are three people on the Normandy apart from Shep who know that she’s not Samara.

First one to learn about it was EDI, there’s nothing you can hide from her while being on the ship. They get along well, because one of them is a cold-blooded psychopath and another is ardat-yakshi.

The second one was Legion, because she acted too surprised to see a geth on the Normandy, like ‘WTF SHEPARD I THOUGHT YOU WERE JOKING IT’S A REAL FUCKING GETH HERE’. They don’t seem to mind her, though. She’s no danger to the geths and she doesn’t seem hostile towards Shepard, they don’t see any reason to tell anyone about her.

The third one is Garrus. Shepard is drunk and mentiones it on accident. He starts being overprotective and once tells “hurt her and you are dead” speech, but he won’t tell anyone not to risk Shepard’s reputation.

Being a Shadow Broker (or while ME3, I don’t remember if Morinth is mentioned in the DLC), Liara learns about Shepard and Morinth having some kind of relationship, too. She gets both angry and jealous, because she can’t understand why Shepard chose ‘that monster’ over her.

Ones they are telling each other stories (Garrus is present, too, because when he first learns about Morinth, he is hesitant to leave her alone with shep) and there are mostly war stories when suddenly she says something like ‘I fucked an elcor once’.

Probably fucked a volus, too.

Over the time she stars being interested not only in artists but in art inself. Having a good memory, she often sketches her victims. One day Shepard finds her sketchbook and sees herself on the last pages.

Tries to flirt with Shepard a lot, but gets ‘Sorry, I have reapers to fight’ answer.

Shepard is attracted but kind of afraid of being manipulated.

Right before the Suicide Mission Shepard promices her that she’ll be the one to kill her. She says Collectors and Reapers have no right to kill her while she has an Ardat-Yakshi by her side. Morinth knows that Shepard never lies to her crew.

[fangzeronos]

After The End

The war was over. THe Reapers had been destroyed. Most of the Mass Relays were beyond repair, and even if they did start working again, who knew how long it'd be before the next conflict broke out. The crew of the Normandy, led at the moment by Dr. Liara T'soni, stood in front of the rememberance wall in the crew deck, the Asari doctor holding Commander Shepard's plaque in her hands.

She looked at the wall and sighed, closing her eyes and remembering the last conversation she'd had with Shepard. "I love you, Shepard." she'd whispered, standing close to the people she'd formed such a deep bond with over the years. She tightened her hand on the plaque and looked at the wall.

"She isn't dead," she whispered. "I'd know it. Joker, how quickly can you have the Normandy running again?"

"Couple days with everyone's help," Joker said, looking at Liara. "Why?"

"We're going back to Earth," Liara said. "To the site of the Crucible wreckage."

After helping get the ship in working order, the Normandy took off from the lush jungle world they'd landed on after the Relay's exploded, beginning the long journey back to Earth. Several weeks later, the Normandy docked in a slowly rebuilding London, Liara and Garrus leading the way off of the ship. Liara made her way through the docking bay, heading for the head of security.

"Excuse me!" she hollered, catching the head before he walked off. "I'm sorry, I'm looking for some information. What happened to the rubble that was cleared from the Cruicible and Citadel, and where there any survivors?"

"The rubble was cleared off and taken around the world for disposal," the security head said, looking at his omnitool and scrolling through a list of people. "THere was one survivor. Shepard, J. Commander of the Normandy SR-2. She was taken to Westworld Memorial, other side of the city."

"Thank you," Liara said, looking at Garrus. "I knew she was alive, Garrus."

"Then go," the Turian said with a smile. "Move it, Doctor."

Liara nodded, running out and hailing a cab, heading for the hospital. Upon arriving, she demanded to know where SHepard's room was, but was turned away. Getting angry, Liara slammed her hand down on the desk hard enough that it made the hallway fall silent.

"LIsten to me, you little bitch," the Asari doctor snarled, grabbing the nurse by the scrubs and getting in her face. "You tell me where Jane Shepard, Commander of the Normandy SR-2, and the WOMAN THAT SAVED THE DAMNED UNIVERSE is or I will rip you apart one molecule at a time until I'm told!"

"Floor eighteen! Room thirty-seven!" the nurse finally admitted, getting dropped down into her chair again.

"Thank you," Liara said, running down to catch the elevator. She hit the button for the eighteenth floor, tapping her fist nervously against the wall as she waited for the elevator to reach the room. After what felt like an eternity--not an easy feat for an Asari--the elevator finally dinged and Liara stepped out, jogging down the hall. "Commander Shepard's room, please." She got directed to the room, walking down the hall and rubbing her arms before she knocked on the door, seeing Shepard sleeping. She walked over and sat beside the bed, reaching out and taking her hand. "You asshole...don't ever do that again..."

Shepard opened her eyes softly, having felt Liara's hand in hers. "Love you too, Liara," she whispered, blinking away the blurry vision and smiling softly. She sat up softly, adjusting the pillow to be behind her back. "They took the breathing tube out a week ago. Still won't let me leave. Say I'm not ready yet. Bullshit. I feel fine."

"Shepard, you had the Crucible fall on top of you. There was a dead Reaper on top of it," Liara said. She sighed softly, looking at Shepard. "What happened? After you sent Javik and me onto the ship. When the explosion happened."

Shepard sighed, looking out of the window. "When the explosion happened, I got knocked back pretty hard. Everything hurt. It hurt to breathe, it hurt to just limp my ass forward. I could barely lift my gun. I made it to the beam...wound up on the Citadel. Anderson was there in a different part and we met up near the console. I tried to activate it but at the time it wasn't working. The Illusive Man came in, started rambling about how the Reapers were going to save everything, how he was going to control them. But....he was different. Remember how when we were caught in the archive vault Brooks said he was Indoctrinated? I didn't want to believe it at the time but she was right. He was starting to look like a Husk," she said. She looked back at Liara and leaned her head back. "To prove a point, i guess, he ended up shooting Anderson in the stomach. I managed to convince him to focus on what he was doing, and when he saw what was going on, he shot himself in the head. I wanted to do that." She stopped talking, her hands clenched.

"Shepard," Liara whispered, putting her hand on Shepard's. "What happened next?"

Shepard sighed and looked at Liara. "Anderson died. I was talking to him and next thing I know he's not answering me anymore. I checked for a pulse and he wasn't there anymore. I forced myself up, trying to find a way to activate the Crucible but it didn't start. Next thing I knew I was in a room with three options for how to end the war with this little shit of a hologram that took the look of a kid I couldn't save when the first Reaper hit Earth. He said I had to choose. Destroy the Reapers and synthetics, Control them, or Sythesize organics and synthetics," she said. She bit her lip and sighed softly, staring down again. "I limped my ass to the far side where I could destroy them. I knew that...by choosing that option I was also killing EDI, and God did that thought hurt. I thought about turning around so many times and going to one of the other platforms. But then I thought of everyone that's been killed by those things and everything else in the last years. The Protheans, Thessia, Zaeed, Jack, the Geth, Legion, the Rachni, Mordin...I started shooting the console, knowing it was the only way to stop everything. When it exploded, the blast sent me flying. I don't remember anything that happened after that until I woke up under the rubble."

Liara nodded softly. "When the Crucible was destroyed by the blast, Joker pushed the Normandy as hard as he could to outrun the blast that was destroying all of the Relays. We ended up on a jungle planet. Shepard, it was beautiful. We didn't know about EDI until after going back inside and starting to clean up. Tali found her under some broken beams and part of the Galaxy Map console in the CIC," she said.

"He'll probably hate me after I explain this," Shepard said.

"I don't think he will," Liara said. "He's been with you the longest, hasn't he? If you explain what happened, he'll understand, Shepard."

A week later, Shepard was released from the hospital and went right back to the Normandy where she got swarmed by nearly everyone in one shot, Tali and Garrus being the foremost of the crowd. After recounting the story for everyone in one shot around the table in the mess hall, Shepard watched Joker walk out, feeling her heart sink into her stomach. She got up and walked after him, catching him in the observation deck.

"Joker?" she asked.

"Did you even think about how doing that would effect us around here, Shepard? How it'd feel to lose EDI? Christ, she was our friend. She might have been Cerberus, but she was still part of the Normandy and part of the crew," Joker said, looking at Shepard over his shoulder. "If it had have been me, I wouldn't have caused you to lose the person you'd loved, Shepard."

"Joker--"

"Save it. Just leave me alone," Joker said, staring out at the city.

Shepard nodded softly, walking out and heading to hte elevator, going up to the Captain's Cabin and shutting the door, sitting on her bed. She looked over at a picture on the table beside the bed, picking it up and sighing softly. "The last time we were all together," she muttered. "After the bullshit with my clone...Goddamn it!" She flung the picture and started throwing whatever she could, shattering the glass on her desk and overturning the bed before she finally sank to the floor, her hands shaking.

Liara sighed as she walked into Shepard's room, seeing the mess around the room, Shepard sitting against the empty fish tank with cut and bloody hands and looking depressed and angry all at once. "Come on," she said, walking over and taking Shepard's hands, standing her up. She led Shepard out of the room and back downstairs, heading for her room near the main battery. "Tomorrow, we're leaving. You need to get away, and you can't distance yourself from this by sitting on the Normandy." She pushed Shepard down onto her bed lightly, grabbing a medigel and applying it to Shepard's hands, sitting beside her girlfriend. "Just give it time. PLease?"

Shepard nodded, sighing as she leaned against Liara. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"You don't have to apologize for anything," Liara whispered, wrapping her arms around Shepard and kissing her cheek softly. "You did what you thought was right, Shepard. Please don't apologize." _________________________

As time went on, Shepard slowly started forgetting about the Reapers and the war as most people on the streets stopped coming up to her and wanting details and information all the time. As everyone moved on with their now war-less lives, Shepard and Liara settled down on Thessia to try and live semi-normal lives.

She walked out of the house and leaned against the wall, watching the sun rising over the city. Shepard sighed to herself as she folded her arms, smiling a bit. "It's peaceful. I like that," she said. "Now if only I didn't have to go in and work today."

"You could always say you're sick and stay home," Liara said as she walked up behind Shepard, wrapping her arms around her wife's waist, resting her chin on her shoulder. "Besides, I thought I tired you out last night?"

Shepard laughed softly, putting her hand on Liara's. "You did. But as much as I'd rather stay home today, I can't. I've got that class on weapon handling at the Academy, remember? And you've got to go in and finish working on the updates for Glyph to get that line ready for shipping, remember?"

"You take the fun out of life," Liara said with a smile, kissing Shepard softly. "But I love you anyway. Don't forget that we're going to the cliffs tonight for the meteor shower."

"I didn't forget," Shepard said with a smile. "And next week we're going to Rannoch for Tali and Garrus' wedding."

"I'm looking forward to it," Liara said. "Come on, Shepard. Let's start our day right."

"What, one more romp before we have to go to work?" Shepard asked with a smirk.

"Perhaps," Liara said, pulling away from Shepard and walking back into the house with a grin on her face.

"You'll be the death of me," Shepard laughed, walking back in and shutting the door.

Shepard knew that the nightmares would stop and the war would be forgotten. She just had to keep looking on the brightside of things and hope for the best as time went on, and with Liara at her side, she knew it'd be easier to do.

[florencemeivey]

I Was Lost Without You (Chapter One of “Somewhere Down the Line”

“Shepard.”

A noise in the dark; a voice she recognized from what seemed like an eternity ago. 

“Shepard.” 

There it was again. Persistent, she thought. But misguided. Shepard was dead.

“Shepard, you did your duty. But there’s one last thing you need to do.” 

No. No. No NO. NONONO. She retreated further into the darkness. What more did they want from her? What more did she have left to give? She had already given her life- surely that was enough.

“Shepard, it’s time to wake up.” 

Wake up? She would laugh if she had a mouth, a voice. How could the dead wake up? Death was a permanent sleep. Everyone knew that.

“Shepard, you’ve done it before.” 

Suddenly, there was a point of light in the dark as she remembered. The voice was right; had she not awakened from death once before? Had she not left this place before? The memory shone faintly, but it was light nonetheless. She moved towards it.

“Shepard,” The voice was stronger now. “Shepard, come back to us. Come back to me.”

The light grew larger and brighter as slowly, faces and names joined the first memory.

Kaidan Alenko.

Ashley Williams.

Jeff “Joker” Moreau.

Urdnot Wrex.

Tali’Zorah vas Normandy.

Liara T’soni.

EDI.

Miranda Lawson.

Jacob Taylor. 

Samara. 

Urdnot Grunt.

Jack.

Thane Krios.

Kasumi Goto.

Zaeed Massani.

Legion.

Mordin Solus.

James Vega.

Steve Cortez. 

Samantha Traynor.

Javik. 

With each face and name, the light grew stronger; it was soon to overwhelm the dark. Her eyes hurt, but she kept moving towards it. Finally, one last face and memory flooded the dark, drowning it all away with the brightest, greatest light yet.

Garrus Vakarian.

“Shepard, I need you. Shepard, I love you.”

Commander Shepard’s eyes opened.

Garrus was right there to see the great Commander Shepard open her eyes for the first time in over half a year. Of course, to him she was just Shepard, though just wasn’t the right word for her, because she was the love of his life.

It was his voice that coaxed her from the dark and quiet of her coma. He hadn’t known what to say when the nurses told him to try talking to her, not at first. But then he thought of what he would want to hear if their roles were switched, and suddenly the right words came to him. 

When her blue eyes opened, a moment of perfect clarity washed over Garrus, and two things became clear. One, he would do everything in his power to ensure Shepard was never taken from him again. Two, he loved Shepard with everything in him, and he wanted to be with her for the rest of their lives.

Relief followed this moment of clarity, a wave of relief and happiness and hope. The most he had ever felt before, cynic that he was. The nurses rushed around the couple, yelling for a doctor, exclaiming to one another, barking commands. But they faded around the lovers, cloudy shapes and forms, because how could they see anyone else?

Their eyes, nearly the same shade of blue, gazed into the others. Garrus took Shepard’s limp hand in his own, and brought it gently to his face. 

“Shepard,” he breathed. “Shepard, you’re home.” He turned her hand in his and kissed her palm reverently, eyes never once leaving her face. 

A tiny smile creased Shepard’s face. With great effort, she opened her mouth, and the first word on her lips since coming back to life yet again, was a name. His name.

“Garrus.” She whispered, and her eyes flooded, with pure, bounding, unadulterated joy.

“I’m home.” She agreed. 

It was a while before Shepard could see any of her other crew members, though Garrus promised they were all very anxious to see her. He wasn’t technically supposed to be in there with her either, but the hospital staff made an exception. Garrus never said, but Shepard was pretty sure intimidation was why he got a pass. Either way, he rarely left her bedside, which Shepard was glad for. She never wanted to not see his face again. 

“I’m done with dying,” she told him jokingly as they sat in her room together. It was a few days since Shepard had opened her eyes, and surprising her caretakers, who said it should be impossible, she was already sitting up and could move her hands and arm on her own. She still couldn’t walk or leave the bed without help, but there was no doubt in her mind that she would get there. Someday. 

“You’d better be,” Garrus replied. He was sitting by her bed, and she was sitting up against the pillows, eating the hospital food that she was already tired of. 

They were quiet for a bit. Garrus took Shepard’s free hand and stroked it with his thumb. In the few days since Shepard had been up, they hadn’t had much opportunity to talk about anything important. While the staff conceded that Garrus could stay with Shepard, they warned him not to talk too much or to say anything that might upset her. Her health is still delicate, they told him. She needs time to readjust. 

Shepard hated it. She wanted to talk about what had happened, to find out what Garrus and the rest of her friends and been doing in the last few months, to see what had happened as the result of her choice to destroy the Reapers.

“So, while we’re here and alone,” Shepard began, pushing the last bit of food away. The nurses would scold her, tell her she needed to eat for her strength, but she didn’t want anymore to eat. “I wanted to talk about what all happened while I was out. Like, what happened in the galaxy in the aftermath of the Reapers? What did you and all our friends do? Stuff like that.” She looked at Garrus beseechingly. 

He hesitated. “I don’t know, Shepard. You heard those nurses. They sounded pretty serious.”

Shepard rolled her eyes. “Oh come on, Garrus. Scared of a few nurses?” She teased, before becoming serious. “Look, I really need to know. I need to know where I stand, especially before our friends get here.” Especially Joker, she thought grimly. “I know not all of the news may be good, but I can take it. I’ve taken a lot worse than bad news in my time.”

“Well, alright,” Garrus said, giving in. “what did you want to know?”

Shepard’s eyes gleamed as she settled back against her pillows. “Everything. Start from the top.”

The world had been saved via Shepard’s actions, but it had also been thrust into chaos. 

All tech featuring synthetic intelligence or Reaper design had crashed. 

“That caused quite a mess,” Garrus remarked ruefully, a half-smile ghosting to life on his face nonetheless. He then became sober. “It...didn’t discriminate. EDI’s gone, Shepard.”

Shepard looked down, and twisted the sheets in her hands. 

“Shepard?” Garrus murmured. 

“I knew that would happen,” Shepard muttered guiltily. “When I made my choice…the- Catalyst- told me it wouldn’t. And, I knew EDI would be included. As well as the geth, Liara’s Glyph…” Shepard drew up her knees, wrapping her arms around them. If there had been one good thing about the coma, it was that she didn’t have to answer difficult questions, and she didn’t have to feel the crushing weight of guilt.

Garrus was quiet for a moment. Finally, he queried, “Choice?”

Shepard made herself meet Garrus’ questioning gaze. “Choice.” She confirmed. She explained in detail about the Catalyst and the form it took for her, as well as the three choices that had been offered to her.

“I knew choosing to destroy the Reapers would still come with a lot of repercussions,” Shepard told Garrus, “Like losing EDI.” She looked down at the sheets. “EDI was my friend. I didn’t want to lose her. I didn’t want to lose any of you. But, destroying the Reapers was what I had gone there to do. And the other choices, they had their own repercussions. To control the Reapers meant too many unknown variables. It would mean giving up my life for something that might not have even worked. As for synthesis, who am I to choose to merge organics and synthetics?” Shepard shook her head, and her eyes began filling with tears of frustration and guilt. “Would that even create peace? What if it only worked for some? What if…”

“Shh Shh Shh,” Garrus murmured soothingly, gathering Shepard in his arms. He breathed into the sweet red tangle of her hair, and let her sob for a moment, not having to explain herself. 

“I would have made the same choice,” Garrus told Shepard in a low voice. “Destroying the Reapers is what we set out to do. And of course,” he added, stroking Shepard’s hair fondly, “I have more selfish reasons. Those other choices sound like they involve you dying, with this time no Cerberus to put you back together.”

“Yeah.” Shepard confirmed, sounding tired. 

“This way, I get to be with you a little longer.” He looked down at the top of Shepard’s head. “I need you alive.”

“Joker probably would have said the same thing about EDI.” Shepard said quietly.

Garrus sighed. “You can’t tell Joker you had choices. He’s been...pretty upset about losing her.”

Shepard shook her head and drew away from Garrus’ arms. “No. I need to tell him. He deserves to know.” She looked out the window, and saw that the trees and grass were starting to grow back from the scorched Earth, little pokes of green in the blackened wasteland.“They all do.”

“It’s your choice,” Garrus replied. “No idea what the outcome will be, though.”

Shepard just shook her head darkly. “Keep going?” She asked.

So Garrus did. 

“The Normandy crash landed on a planet just outside the Sol Cluster. Lucky for us, it was habitable, because we were stuck there for a while.We knew that the Reapers had been destroyed, and we also knew you were the cause.” He hesitated. “So the natural conclusion was that you had died. We...held a memorial service on board. Not just for you, but for Anderson and EDI as well.” 

Garrus stopped here, and shook his head, his grip tightening on Shepard’s hand. He took a minute to compose himself, and Shepard was quiet. She knew if their spots had been reversed that this would have been a hard memory for her, as it seemed to be for Garrus. Finally, with a shuddering breath, Garrus continued on. 

“We had a plaque with your name on it. Everyone decided I ought to be the one who put your name up there, considering, well, you know. We were going to put yours up last. But Shepard, when I walked up to the Memorial Wall...I couldn’t do it. Something in me was stopping me, was telling me to hold on. I was reminded that you had survived certain death before. If anyone could have survived the destruction of the Reapers, I knew it would be you.”

Shepard’s eyes welled up again and she wordlessly outstretched her arms. Garrus fell into them, and for a long time they simply held each other. “Didn’t I tell you? You’d never be alone,” Shepard murmured.

“Never,” Garrus reaffirmed. He squeezed her tightly, gathering strength in her slender form to continue. 

“Surprisingly, no one pushed too hard about it. We all wanted you to be alive, and we were all gonna hold out hope until there was no way we could anymore. Not long after, we managed to get the ship back up, all of us working together. But when we got back into space, we ran into another problem.”

“The mass relays?” Shepard guessed.

“Yeah,” Garrus confirmed. “It was damaged, severely so. But lucky for us, once we got back in space, we were able to establish contact with the Alliance. They told us that all of the relays were damaged, but they were working tirelessly to fix them, and would stay in touch with us as they figured out how.”

“I know they must have succeeded, because you’re here, but how on earth…?” Shepard mused. “It must have been hard. We’ve never understood them fully.”

“The saving grace, as I hear it, was that while they were very damaged, they were not completely wiped out,” Garrus answered. “They were still intact, so there was still a design to work with. Not too terribly unlike the Crucible. With the scientists we helped gather for the Crucible, they began work as soon as possible. The Quarians and Salarians helped too, on their side of things. The Salarians in particular took on a lot of the responsibility.”

“Hmm,” was all Shepard said, but it was enough.

“Yeah, I know. They got a lot of backlash for their lack of help against the Reapers. From every front- humans, turians, asari, and krogan were all very critical of the Salarians’ selfish approach. Apparently, there was even talk of taking away their council seat.” Garrus shrugged. “Not sure if there’s any truth to that, but it put their asses in gear. They announced they would be focusing all their efforts in repairing the crashed technology, starting with the mass relays. Frankly, it was a win-win; because they stayed so neutral in the war, they still had a lot of resources to put into this research, so they were the best candidates for taking the helm. Furthermore, they needed to redeem themselves.”

“I’m guessing they did?” Shepard asked.

Garrus nodded. “Definitely. They managed to get the relays back to limited functionality in the span of about six months. Only military ships and absolutely necessary travel was permitted at first, but the Normandy fit that, so we navigated our way back to Earth as soon as we were able.”

“And how soon before you found out I was alive?” Shepard questioned.

“Three days before you woke back up,” Garrus answered grimly.

Shepard’s eyebrows shot up. “That soon?”

“From what I’ve been told, it was a few days before your body was even found,” Garrus replied. “You were buried under some rubble, at the heart of the destruction. They didn’t even realize you were alive at first, you were so beat up.”

Shepard knew this was likely true, as she touched her face. Nothing hurt, but it would have then if she had been conscious. New scars now marred her face; when she had first looked in a mirror since waking up, she had joked to Garrus, “We’re twins, now.” Many of her bones had been broken; her armor and cybernetics had protected her vital organs, but it couldn’t save everything. She still couldn’t walk or move her legs without assistance. Ruefully, Shepard reminded herself that she was still lucky. She could have very easily been one of the dead. 

“When they did,” Garrus continued, “you were rushed to a makeshift hospital first. You were one of many, and since none of us were around to claim you, you became lost in the crowd for a time.”

“I imagine people thinking I was dead helped with that,” Shepard remarked drily. 

“Probably. You didn’t have your dog tags either, and your armor had been destroyed, so they had no way of knowing you were even Alliance. They just treated you as one of the unknowns. Eventually, after about three months, you were one of the last unclaimed, and the staff wanted to know why. They thought you were probably a soldier given where you were found, and the fact that you were found in armor, that it was destroyed notwithstanding. So they contacted the Alliance, and told them they might have one of their people. They were spread pretty thin at that point; a lot of people died in the war, and there was just so much destruction to deal with. Still, they sent someone down, and luckily for us he recognized you. They had to be sure, though, so Admiral Hackett came down himself to verify, and they tested your identifiers against the records they had for you. Both confirmed it was you.” 

“Admiral Hackett made it?” Shepard asked, perking up.

“He sure did,” Garrus affirmed affectionately. “So they moved you to an Alliance hospital, and recognized you as having survived.”

“So how come you didn’t know about me until a few days before I woke up?” Shepard asked, frowning.

Garrus shrugged, looking frustrated and moody. “They gave some excuse about not wanting to put the news out over the airways just yet. So it wasn’t until last week when we landed that we found out.” 

Shepard leaned back against her pillows thoughtfully. She could sort of understand the Alliance’s gesture. If they announced that she was alive only for her to die not long after, then what sort of hope did that inspire in people? There may also be people who would want to take advantage of her vegetative state, if they knew about it. She wasn’t sure why exactly the Alliance made that call, but she realized that if it were Garrus, and if it was the Turian Hierarchy that was hiding him, Shepard would be pissed too. 

“And then of course, there was red tape once we did find out. Naturally we all wanted to come see you immediately, but they weren’t allowing any visitors. They told us you were in a coma and were “delicate.”

“Never heard that word used to describe me,” Shepard commented, frowning.

“Who could unless you were in a coma?” Garrus joked, before becoming serious. “We went back and forth for a few days before they finally relented and let me come to see you. It was your Admiral Hackett who gave the O.K.” Garrus looked sheepish here. “It seems some anonymous source told him I was your boyfriend and that we were madly in love? His words when he gave his consent, not mine.” Garrus blushed the way Shepard had learned turians do, their face plates becoming tinged with blue. “Though, they weren’t wrong. Just wasn’t really prepared to hear your boss say that.”

“Liara!” Shepard growled, then laughed throatily. “Oh, this has her written all over it.”

“You may be right,” Garrus chuckled. “We’ll have to get her back for that one. Either way, it worked. He said that as your partner, legal or otherwise, I had the all-clear to visit you, in case things suddenly went south, I guess. I’m sure he wasn’t anticipating you waking up to the sound of my voice,” Garrus teased, chucking Shepard lightly under the chin.

“And were you?” Shepard countered with a smile. 

“I wanted to believe it would,” Garrus replied, looking down. “So I said what I thought I’d want to hear, were our roles switched.”

Shepard raised Garrus’ chin so that their eyes could meet. “Thank you.” She replied simply, and the couple exchanged a tender kiss. 

“Soo...how soon do you think until we can, ah…?” Shepard stated suggestively, after pulling away from Garrus. She wiggled her eyebrows.

“Can we….?” Garrus replied, feigning ignorance. “What, tango again? Have a shooting contest? Do some calibrations? I’m not following here, Shepard.”

She swung her pillow at him, hitting his shoulder. “I’ll calibrate you!” She hit him repeatedly as they laughed, Garrus play-cowering under the soft thumps of her pillow. 

Eventually they calmed down. “Ahh...probably not until you have control over your legs again, Shepard,” Garrus replied seriously. 

Shepard nodded, resigned to her momentary celibacy. “I thought that might be the case.” 

They were quiet for a moment, before Shepard brightened back up. 

“Guess that means I need to begin my physical therapy ASAP!”

Garrus smiled. “You giant dork.” Then, quietly, sincerely, “I love you.”

Shepard smiled at Garrus, and placed her hand on his cheek. “How long I’ve been waiting to hear that.” She leaned in, and the couple exchanged another kiss, a kiss that was long, slow, sweet, and full of gratitude for fate and the funny ways it worked sometimes.