#and that is why san’s choice is so important

[iguessitsjustme]

Friendly reminder that Vad is San’s soulmate but Vee is San’s choice.

San may have bound his soul to Vad’s and in doing so created his own soulmate. But he has now and will always choose Vee.

[beginningofwonderland]

Stay Focused - San

Pairing: university student y/n x office worker San

Genre: smut with plot (MINORS DNI!)

Word Count: 12.5k (I don't know what happened)

Summary: Your mother insists on getting you a tutor for your studies. You want to resist until you meet Choi San, your tutor. His sweet talk and good looks make you focus on anything but your studies and you do everything to finally catch his attention in the same way.

Warnings: San is a few years older (5 to be exact), some nipple play, fingering, some orgasm denial, lots of dirty talk, blowjob (face-fucking leaning), protected sex, mirror sex

The reader in this is so horny omg. Just straight up trash for San (relatable). Also very long build-up.

"Good is not enough in this family," your mother repeats to you for what feels like the 100th time. „Your grades have to be exceptional if you want to work in my business."

Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you change your phone to the other hand to stir your pasta around. You just told her about your recent test results which of course are not satisfactory to her.

The problem is that you are actually doing pretty good. You never missed or failed a class, you passed all your courses with at least a good score and you had even fulfilled additional classes to broaden the spectrum of your studies. But just like she said: Good is not enough for her. She won't shut up about your grades until you reach 100% in all of your classes - which is basically impossible, especially in your field of study.

"Do you even still want to work in the family business?" your mother asks you provokingly. And the problem is, you do. You really do. Your mother is the CEO of a big pharmacy company and ever since you were a kid you followed her interest in chemistry. You even chose your pharmacy major without her influence. But now that you are taking the same path as her, she is all in your business about being the perfect little mini-her.

"I do, mom. I'm working hard on it, I promise. The next exam is in four weeks and I already started studying."

She makes a huffing sound before answering you: "You said that the last three times as well and still didn't get a full score. You should really get a tutor."

"Mom! I'm the best in my class. Why should I get a tutor? I'm doing great!" You are glad you're only talking to her on the phone so that she doesn't see the way your hands clasps over your face. She can't be serious with you. Getting a tutor with your grades is just embarrassing.

"But not great enough. You know what? The son of a close business partner recently started working at the company. He graduated a few years ago with an honour's degree and seems to be a very promising young man. I'll ask him to tutor you."

Your cheeks start to heat up just at the thought of how embarrassing the whole thing will be for you. Getting a tutor that worked for your mother is literally the worst case scenario. You feel like a high school student that doesn't pay attention in school and now gets scolded for it.

"I do not need a tutor, mom." You state once again but her mind is already made up.

"I'll give him your number and he will contact you. And don't you dare be rude to him, his father is very important for our business!"

You can't believe her words. Since when have you ever been rude to anyone she introduced you to? Your mother ends the call before you can protest any more.

Angrily, you fish a single spaghetti out of your pot to taste it. It's perfectly cooked when you munch on it in annoyance.

--------------------------------

This is Choi San.

Your mother told me you needed tutoring on your pharmacy classes and gave me your schedule.

I can teach you Tuesday and Thursday afternoon from 6PM. Would that work for you?

You fall back onto bed with a frustrated groan as you read the messages. She really asked him. Now you have no choice but agree to him tutoring you because your mother would kill you otherwise.

Typing a reply you take a deep breath. This will be such a waste of time for the both of you.

Hello! Tuesdays and Thursdays are good. Thank you so much.

You hate how pathetic you sound. What are you even thanking him for? You don't want him to tutor you and he was definitely forced by your mother so why even play pretend?

No problem. We can use meeting room 117 at the company since I reserved it for us. I'll see you on Tuesday.

You dread Tuesday every single day from now on. When it finally arrives you feel ridiculous as you enter the large building of your mother's company. You have been here countless times but you never thought you would get tutor lessons here.

Even worse is that your mother made you go greet her beforehand. She specifically texted you to visit her office before the appointment with Mr. Choi. You walk past her assistant with a polite greeting and finally enter her office.

The luxurious room sat at the top floor of the building with a nice view over the city. Sometimes you forget how successful her company actually is. It can be quiet intimidating.

"There you are," she greets you with a mere look up from a bunch of files on her desk. "I hope you prepared well for your tutoring session. Please don't embarrass yourself in front of Mr. Choi. His father is an important business partner of mine and he himself seems to be a very promising employee. I don't want my own daughter to make him think worse of the company."

Of course she only worries about the company. The idea that this is incredibly humiliating for her own daughter does not even cross her mind.

"Hello, mom. Of course I prepared well, I always do. I won't disappoint you."

She nods at you, satisfied with your answer before looking at her watch. "Then you should head to the meeting room. He is always ridiculously early for meetings so he's probably waiting for you already."

Great, you think to yourself. You hoped you would be able to grab a coffee beforehand.

"I'll go right away. Bye, mom."

You walk to the elevator with heavy steps and check your own watch. It's still fifteen minutes until 6PM so there's plenty of time to grab a coffee before, no matter what your mother might say.

Entering the elevator you select the floor of the meeting room with the plan to walk to the coffee pantry first. Half-way down, the elevator stops on a different floor. When the doors open you almost choke on your polite "Hello" as your eyes take in the person in front of you.

Walking into the elevator is easily the most attractive man you have ever seen in your life. Dressed in a tight pair of dark pants and a perfectly fitted dress-shirt the handsome stranger repeats your greeting with a small bow and a mind-numbingly attractive smile. His eyes carry a little glimmer even behind the round pair of glasses he wears and as he pushes back his black hair you feel like swooning.

You have to keep yourself from staring when he takes his place in the elevator and both of you wait for it to move. Just now you realize he hasn't pushed a button, which means he is heading to the same floor as you. Out of the corner of your eyes you can't help but watch him.

He is a few inches taller than you but appears even bigger due to his broad frame. You wonder where that man even finds clothes that fit his stature with his broad shoulders and tiny waist. He checks his most definitely expensive wrist watch before looking at the display counting down the floors.

When the elevator doors open with a ding, you almost jolt. You were so caught up in thinking about how good he looks that you didn't even notice arriving on your floor. The handsome man gestures for you to step out first with another deadly smile in your direction.

"Thank you," you barely breath out as you step out of the elevator in front of him. It feels like the air outside is ten degrees colder. Without looking back you head to the pantry of the floor. You need a coffee even more than before now that you can only think of that guy from the elevator. There is no way you can concentrate on tutoring now without some caffeine.

The benefit of being the CEO's daughter is having a card with unlimited access to the coffee machines so you happily press the button for a black coffee. At the familiar buzzing sound you can finally relax and take a deep breath. No man has ever made you so flustered before just by existing. Maybe you should visit the office more often if that was the kind of employees your mother hired.

Taking your coffee into one hand and your study bag into the other you turn around to head to the meeting room. Caught up deeply in your thoughts you almost run head first into the person behind you.

"Woah, careful there. You don't want to spill that coffee do you?" his voice is smooth like honey, with a joking tone to it. You blink up at him a few times before you find your words.

"I'm sorry. I was distracted."

The man from the elevator smiles at you and you feel your body warming up from the inside out.

"Don't worry, nothing happened." He looks you up and down quickly before holding eye contact once again.

"Excuse the question, but do you happen to be director Kim's daughter?"

You stare at him in confusion. "Yes. Yes, I am. How did you know?"

He moves past you, grabbing a cup from the pantry himself and turning on the coffee machine before he answers:

"You share her eyes. But more importantly, your bag has a pin of the pharmacy faculty of the university and because I'm supposed to meet her daughter for tutoring on this floor in - " he checks his watch again: "exactly 12 minutes, I figured it might be you."

You are impressed. His looks are already enough to have your eyes turn into hearts but there is probably nothing that makes a man more attractive to you than his wit. But what hits you even more than that is the fact that THIS was your tutor.

I take everything back mom, I love tutoring. Sign me up for another year.

"Well, you figured correctly," you reply weakly, at a loss for words. "Nice to meet you Mr. Choi."

You put your cup on the pantry table to reach your hand out to him. He takes it with a smile.

"Nice to meet you too, Miss Kim. I was going to get the two of us some coffee but as I can see you already helped yourself."

Oh, so he's a gentleman as well.

"Next time you should let me take care of that," you said showing him your free access card. "I happen to own the key to infinite coffee."

"Does the caffeine addiction come for free with that as well?" You chuckle at his joke.

"I think it's the requirement to get it in the first place."

"Well then I will happily let you get us coffee next time."

Next time, you think. The reality that you will be seeing this man on a regular basis hits you.

For a second the two of you just smile at each other. Then Mr. Choi notices that his coffee is done and he grabs the cup.

"Let's head to the meeting room then. I wouldn't want to waste your time."

You sir, can waste my time any day of the week, you think to yourself but obviously keep silent as you follow him to the room.

He holds the door open for you and you settle down onto one of the meeting chairs. You always hated these things. They are designed to make you sit upright and therefore terribly uncomfortable. You desperately want to fold one of your legs under yourself like you always do at home but you have a good image to keep. After taking a seat across from you he puts his bag onto the table and looks at you expectantly.

"So what topics exactly are you struggling with? It's been a while for me but I'm sure I can help."

"To be honest with you, I don't really need help on anything."

San raises his eyebrows behind the round glasses on his nose. "What do you mean?"

You sigh, not knowing how to explain this dilemma best. "My mother made me get a tutor because she believes I need better grades. In fact I'm the best of my year with perfect attendance and an average of 95%. She says that everything under 100% is not enough which is why she must have thought of you as a tutor."

San just stares at you with a peculiar look on his face. He looks almost impressed from your words.

"I knew director Kim could be quite strict but I had never imagined that extent. I'm sorry she made you do this, a 95% average is very impressive in the pharmacy field."

"Says someone with a perfect 100% graduation," you snap back, a little more spiteful than you want to. But San doesn't seem to take it the wrong way. Instead he chuckles in response. The sound sends shivers down your spine, his voice dipping way lower than you had expected it could.

"Trust me, that wasn't all brains. I only know my way around people." You don't doubt that last statement for even a second.

"Maybe instead of teaching I can give you some tips around the university. That would probably help you more."

Now you are interested.

"What kind of tips for example?" You lean forward resting an elbow on the table as you pick your cup of coffee up for a sip. It's still burning hot but you pretend you didn't just burn your tongue as you set it back down.

"Does Mr. Han still do the medicine lectures? He's been using the same exam template for years. Pharmacy students are just to selfish to share the results with the younger students. I'll look for my old exams later to give them to you."

Your mouth opens in awe. Everyone from the year above had told you Mr Han's exams were the hardest and it turns out they were just lying to intimidate you. The competition was real.

"These fuckers," you mumble beneath your breath but judging by his chuckle, San heard you just fine.

"Sorry," you excuse your language immediately with a small nod. He is still an employee under your mother and she told you explicitly to act well around him. Hiding your uneasiness you go for another scolding sip of coffee.

"Don't worry, darling. I won't go complaining to your mother about your language. You don't need to be her perfect little girl for me."

You almost choke on your coffee and have to force the liquid down your throat with an effort. You really wish they didn't but his words made your insides squirm. The amount of money you'd pay him to call you 'darling' again is surely an embarrassing amount. But good little girl also didn't sound too bad from his mouth.

"Thanks," you mumble, not knowing what else to say and stare onto the table to hide your flushing face. If you look at him with those slutty, round glasses right now, you're sure you'll combust.

You don't notice, but Mr. Choi eyes you up and down carefully before he resumes speaking. He smiles at your flustered state that obviously doesn't escape his sharp senses. Seeing your pretty face flush from only these few words, satisfies him deeply.

"Then how about that toxicology class? If Mr. Lim still teaches it, I know a few ways to get on his good side. He always picks favourites and it shows in the grades."

Mr. Choi continues listing off ways to better your grades around your professors. You can't help but be impressed. Not only is he obviously very intelligent but also great with people. Maybe what kept you from exceeding in your studies was your rather reserved nature in class.

"How about this," Mr. Choi finally proposes after teaching you some of his ways. "I'll get you my old notes and exams and with that you will surely ace all your tests. Then we can meet up for these tutoring sessions and while you study in peace I can get some work done. This way your mother is happy and we both profit from the situation."

You nod without hesitation. "That sounds like a great idea. Thank you so much, Mr. Choi."

He groans at your words, a sound that makes you react in a way you don't even want to put into words.

"Please don't call me Mr. Choi when we're alone that makes me feel terribly old. My name is San."

"Aren't you older than me though?" you ask back carefully. It doesn't feel right to call him by his first name.

"If 5 years are old to you?" he inquires with a slight teasing edge to his voice. You don't know if he's flirting with you or if you are just becoming a witness to this man's effortless social skills.

Truthfully, you are 22 and 5 years more don't seem that much to you. Still his way with words and the confident aura around him make him seem more mature.

"I didn't say old. Just older."

He rolls his eyes at your stubbornness, leisurely resting one of his elbows on the backrest behind him. "Just call me San, darling."

There it is again. That word single-handedly turns you into a blushing mess within seconds and you find yourself agreeing without another thought.

"Okay, San."

A satisfied smile spreads on his face and you marvel at the dimples that form on his cheeks. "Much better. Than how about you do some studying and I'll get some work done now?"

"Sounds good," you reply and start taking out your classwork. He could've told you to start stripping right now and you would've agreed without question. Damn you are down bad for him already...

It is a weird situation at first. You are used to studying around strangers in the library, but sitting alone in a room with San makes it hard to focus on your upcoming test. His eyes keep flicking from his work laptop across to you and you don't know if he's interest in the topic you're studying or you.

You yourself on the other hand are surely interested in him and you can't help but steal a few glances at him working diligently at his laptop every now and then. Even typing on his keyboard looks ridiculously hot on him with the way his slender fingers run over the keys.

After about two hours of you trying to keep your eyes on your notes San finally closes his laptop and stares at you until you reciprocate his look.

"I guess two hours is enough to make your mother think you studied, right?" he asks with one corner of his mouth slightly lifted.

"Sure," you respond weakly.

"I'll look for my old tests and will bring them on Thursday," he goes on as he stands up to pack up his laptop and bag. You also start gathering your study books.

"Thank you again," you answer lamely. But the promise of already seeing him again on Thursday excites you.

When you proceed to grab your now empty coffee cup his hands react quickly as he snatches it from you.

"Don't worry about that, I'll put those away," he's leaning over the table now, smiling at you through slightly closed eyes and you can't help but be entranced by his looks. "You should make sure to get home before it's dark outside. Want you to get home safely."

"Don't worry about me, I'll manage."

"Oh but I won't if something happens to you and your mother finds out you were last seen with me," he replies cockily as you two finally go to the door.

You have to chuckle at his remark. "Good to know I'm not the only one terrified of her."

"Everyone is terrified of her," he mumbles under his breath but you are already reaching the coffee pantry - aka your cue to go home.

"Can we use the same room on Thursday?" you ask as you stop in front of him. You make sure to brush your hair behind your ear in a nonchalant manner, knowing it shows your good angles.

"Yeah, I already booked it," San replies easily, eyes fixing yours from above. "But let's meet at the coffee machine here. I want to at least take advantage of that free coffee if I give you all my study secrets."

He winks at you at the last part of the sentence and it makes your insides twirl like on a rollercoaster. You give him a small smile through fluttering lashes. "So that's what you meant with a win-win situation: Endless coffee. Well it looks like I don't have a choice but to be your personal coffee machine."

You want to punch yourself right after that sentence leaves your mouth. How much more stupid could you possibly sound? Personal coffee machine. Saying you wanted to be his personal slut would have been less embarrassing.

But San doesn't seem to mind your awkward response. "Sounds good to me," he replies smoothly. "Then have a good ride home and I'll see you on Thursday."

"Until Thursday," you reply before you can say something stupid again and stroll off to the elevator with a small wave.

As soon as the doors close behind you, your head thumps against the steel wall. There is no way you will get any studying done with that man in the same room as you.

---------------------

Your next few meetings with San go on smoothly. You are always on time but he is still earlier than you, waiting for you at the coffee machine. You get both of you a coffee - sometimes two if you feel like it - and you two get to work in a comfortable silence sitting opposite to each other in the meeting room.

After San brought you his old exams you can now prepare exactly what you need to know for your next tests. But no matter how hard you try to focus on your studies, your eyes keep wandering from your books up to the handsome man working on his laptop.

You soon notice his seemingly endless closet full of tailored dressing shirts and perfectly matching pants. He always looks immaculate, not a single wrinkle on his shirt and his hair always neatly combed back. Even his skin is flawless to the point that you start questioning if Choi San might be a figment of your imagination.

Just like his outer appearance, his manners are immaculate. Like you already noticed on your first meeting, he is a sweet talker. Always knowing the right thing to say and never letting your conversation end in awkwardness.

Whenever he feels like taking a break you notice him starting to talk to you. At first he asks how your studies are going. Then he wanders off to the professors you two shared and how he managed to ace all his classes.

Your whole attention is glued to his lips. For one thing because the information he can provide you with is crucial to your academic development but much more importantly because his lips are the prettiest thing you have ever seen. They look so plump and smooth while he's talking that your mind can't help but wander to the other things he might be able to do with them besides talking.

If at your first meeting you were down bad for Choi San, one month later you felt like you were drowning and he was the last bit of oxygen left on earth. You wanted him with a passion that you didn't even know you were capable of.

But you couldn't have him. There was too much at stake. He still worked for your mother and if you made a move on him that he wouldn't reciprocate you would risk the eternal hate of the only woman that still held control over your life. And so far San hadn't shown any sign of feeling the same way about you that you did for him.

„You're stuck on that?" San suddenly asks you over the page of biochemistry that you've been staring at for a solid five minutes. You haven't spared a single thought on the topic in front of you. Your mind is only occupied by the thought of San leaning over you on the meeting chair, your chin in between his slender fingers as he smirks down at you. You hate him for having this effect on you when you so desperately need to focus on your studies.

You really need to get your thoughts together.

„Oh no I was just getting carried away," you answer, looking at him pointedly with a sly smile.

You tried little attacks like this on him before. A casual pull down of your shirt, stretching your arms to make it ride up over your stomach or even looking directly at his lips as he spoke. But no matter how daring you get you can never catch San slipping.

His eyes stay on yours only whenever he looks at you, his tone is always polite and never goes farther than a casual joke. You simply can't draw a single reaction from him and it drives you insane.

„Do you need a small break? We could get another coffee," he offers helpfully.

I don't want a damn coffee I want you to fuck me on this meeting table.

"I'd love to, but I'm already way too warm today. I fear the AC can't fight against the heat anymore."

It has gotten exponentially hotter over the past days and you can feel it even inside the modern building.

"You're right, it's quite hot in here," San says with a disappointed face. "What a shame we don't have iced coffee. We should get some on Tuesday!"

His eyes light up in excitement and this little sliver of pure happiness doesn't escape you. It's surprising how cute he can be with that shamelessly hot body of his.

"Do you know a place near?" You ask to drag on the conversation. You yourself know at least 3 cafés in the area that sell iced coffee but you want San to tell you a place. Maybe his favourite. So that you can go and think of him.

"Yes, I can show you!" he answers proudly.

"I'd love to." You send him a gentle smile with long eye contact before both of you look back at your work.

But your concentration withers away like the dying plant in the corner of the room when Choi San begins undoing the buttons of his shirt sleeves.

You know you shouldn't but your eyes immediately watch as his slender fingers start neatly folding up his sleeves. The muscles in his underarms dance beneath his skin as inch after inch of skin gets revealed.

You feel like a medieval man salivating over exposed ankles as you stare at San's arms. The veins are protruding in the heat and his honey skin is glistening under the bland neon lights.

Your heartbeat quickens and it's mostly because it feels like you finally found San slipping. Him rolling up his sleeves is like a crack in his perfect mask and you are certain that he wouldn't do it anywhere else in the company. He only does this because he is with you.

"Shoot," he suddenly exclaims and draws your attention up to his face. You catch the small pout that appears on his lips before he looks back at you.

"What is it?" you ask him.

"I forgot to book the meeting room for Tuesday and now everything is blocked. There is a work event next week. I should've booked it earlier."

"Oh," you simply reply. This is even more confusing. You don't believe that San would ever forget such an important event. Is he trying to get rid of you?

"Don't worry about it, darling." His smirk and the nickname has you fighting for air. "I'll find us something else."

You can only nod at him with a smile. Maybe he isn't trying to get rid of you.

The rest of your study/work time flies by as your mind thinks of all the possible meeting places you and San could have for Tuesday. You feel like a highschool girl dreaming about dates with your crush but you don't care. The man that is supposed to be tutoring you just makes your heart speed up in a way that you haven't experienced ever before.

When your meeting time comes to an end and San starts packing up his stuff he simply says: "How about we meet at my place next time? I don't like working in cafés it's always so crowded and noisy. And I have coffee too."

You snap up at him in surprise at the proposal. "Sure," you reply as nonchalantly as you can at the prospect of going to Choi San's apartment. Alone. With him.

"I can pick you up here with my car after work. So you don't have any extra way."

"That sounds good," you reply with a small smile, trying not to sound too excited.

"Then until next week," he says with one of his handsome smiles and you say your goodbyes before you can turn even redder in his presence.

When you walk onto the elevator this time and the door closes behind you, your heart is pounding into your throat. As the realization sets in that you will be alone with Choi San in his apartment a satisfied smile set over your face. Oh you will use that chance for sure.

----------------------

You spend the entire day preparing for your tutor appointment with San. Something deep inside you tells you that this behaviour is ridiculous but you push this inner voice back down as you play your favourite music and get ready.

You wear your hair in light waves and put on makeup to bring out your eyes but not look overly done up. Your outfit was a tricky matter but you settled on a classic pleated skirt and a tight long-sleeve. Everything about your appearance today lands on the thin line between innocent and suggestive and you are satisfied when you twirl around in front of the mirror.

All you want is one small reaction out of the man that you have thirsted for over the past weeks. If Choi San even so much as lets his eyes scan you up and down, your mission would be successful. Lost in your task of getting ready you almost forget to actually pack your study books before heading to your mothers company.

You two agreed on San picking you up at the company's garage. So you are taking down the elevator to the parking floor and checking yourself one last time in your phone camera before stepping into the parking lot.

Having no idea how his car looks like you pull up your chat with San, wanting to ask him where to go. But before you can type your message a calm voice calls you over from across the parking lot.

"Y/n!"

You turn around to a sight that makes your heart flutter. San is leaning onto his car, a chic black Mercedes. His white dress shirt has one button unbuttoned and his sleeves are rolled up again. His feet are crossed over each other leisurely as he waits for you to come over.

Walking up to him you have to try real hard to look casual and not like your nerves are taking over you with the impending situation of being in the same car as San for an undefined amount of time. Your heart is beating already and he hasn't even called you any nicknames yet.

"Hello, San. You're not wearing glasses today?" you notice in surprise and hope it doesn't come off as too attentive.

"Sometimes I wear contacts," he replies smoothly. "It's a styling decision."

While you love the glasses on San seeing him without has a different charm to it. Almost like he is showing you a different side of him.

"Ready to go?" you ask him to keep the conversation going and you're almost proud of your nonchalant tone.

"Ready when you are," he replies with a light smile and walks around the car to open the door for you.

Of course he opens the door for me.

Before you can get in he also takes your bag from you to store it in the back. You want to refuse but one of his smiles finally makes you give in and you hand him the bag. Finally, you thank him and sit down in the passenger seat. The car looks even nicer on the inside: leather seats and perfectly clean. Something inside you starts questioning where this man hides his flaws since noone can possibly be this perfect at all times.

"It's only a 20 minute drive," San explains as he gets into the driver's seat and turns on the engine. You can't help but watch his hands as he manages the gearshift. But as he turns around to look for obstacles his eyes get stuck on you. For a second you think you got him. That his eyes linger on you for a little too long because you finally pulled a reaction out of him.

"You haven't even put your seatbelt on, darling."

And with that your mind is blank. Simple emptiness.

Before you can react, his hand reaches past you, grabbing the seatbelt and plugging it in. His hand doesn't so much as grace your shoulder for a millisecond but you feel like your lungs are constricting.

"Thanks," you breath out before he finally pulls out of the parking spot. He does that wildly attractive thing where he put his hand on the back of the passenger's seat while driving backwards and you feel like losing it already. How will you survive being in the same apartment with this man. San however seems his usual chatty self.

"I'm sorry again for not booking the meeting room in time. I already reserved it for the weeks to come," he starts talking to you.

"Don't worry. I totally don't mind," you answer and regret it immediately. Did that sound too eager? Something about Sam's presence makes you overthink every single word you say.

"I have a fancy coffee machine at home so I can at least return the favour of you getting me coffee all the time."

You smile at that. It feels like this little inside thing between you two how you always use your company privileges to pay for both of your coffee. San thanks you every single time, bringing up how much you save his day.

"I never thought you were that much of a coffee guy at home too," you say trying to get him to tell you more about himself.

"You're acting like I didn't go through pharmacy as well!" He replies with a slightly sulky tone. "No way to survive that major without getting addicted to coffee."

You chuckle at his response. "That's true unfortunately. So you just carried the addiction into your job?"

"You could state it like that but by buying a fancy machine you can just say that coffee is your hobby instead."

Whenever you two talk about mundane topics like this you can't help but be glued to his lips. To get a glimpse of the Choi San that isn't working over-hours all the time and kept up his perfect image at all costs. You want to find out the details about him. Like how he enjoys his coffee or what colour he might like best.

You continue the drive in casual chatter like this before finally reaching your destination. As San pulls into an underground parking lot of an apartment building your heart rate quickens again. Something about seeing his apartment makes you incredibly nervous.

He tells you to wait inside the car after he lets the motor die down so that he can open the door for you again. Even this small gesture has you wrapped around his finger and you smile as you try to step out of the car as gracefully as you can.

San leads you into an elevator and as soon as the doors close you feel reminded of your first meeting. Of how he took your breath away just by standing next to you in such a small space. And now there isn't much difference. He still makes you just as nervous. But at least you can talk to him now.

"How is studying for your exams going so far?" He asks casually.

"It's okay," you reply lamely. "I'm trying my best."

"You know if you actually do need my help you can obviously ask me," he offers alluding to your deal of him basically just getting his own work done instead of tutoring you.

"You've already helped me so much. All I need to do now is actually study," you say turning down his argument.

You idiot, you think to yourself. You could've at least pretended to need his help.

You wait in silence as the remaining floors rush past you. You're surprised with every passing number, wondering what floor San might be living on. But the elevator doesn't stop until the highest floor.

San let's you exit first which makes no sense to you since you don't know where to go. So you wait for him to show you the way to his apartment.

As soon as he unlocks the door and leads you two inside you curiously scan his place. On a first glance it looks almost exactly like you expected: it's very clean and tidy, the furniture is modern and rather minimalistic and the whole place carries a simple colour theme of black and chrome with only hints of colour. The entrance leads straight into an open living room that connects to the kitchen.

"Make yourself at home at the dinner table," San offers while gesturing at the big, black table that looks like straight out of a design magazine.

You both place your shoes neatly at the entrance of his apartment before you take your bag to the table. As you choose a seat from which you can look outside the gigantic window front, San heads over to the kitchen, getting something from a cupboard.

"Can I get you a glass of water before I make some coffee?" He asks you with a kind smile.

"That would be nice," you answer even though water was not what you were craving right now.

He filled one for you and brought it over before returning to the kitchen. "You want your coffee hot or iced?"

"Iced? This is better service than at the company. You should forget to book the meeting room more often." It's a weak attempt at flirting with him but he laughs non the less.

"So iced it is?" He confirms with you again and turns on his electric coffee grinder after you nod approvingly.

It shouldn't captivate you that much, looking at him while he was performing such a basic task as making coffee. But you could watch him for hours, the way his broad back stretches out his dress shirt. The way he moves around so smoothly. The way the muscles in his arms flex as he handles his espresso machine.

You turn towards your study materials just in time before he faces you again, two iced coffees in his hands. He places one gently in front of you before he sits down opposite of you.

"Thank you," you smile at him extra sweetly.

"Anything you want, darling."

You swear to yourself that if he calls you darling one more time you will throw all rational thoughts out of the window and straddle him right here in his stupid designer living room chair. But for now you settle for a coy smile as you feel your cheeks heat up.

To add to your demise, as San drags his chair closer to the table both of your knees touch for a brief second before he casually changes his seating position. The table is narrower than the one in the meeting room and knowing that your legs are mere inches from another makes you even more delusional. What if he did that on purpose?

After that, all concentration for your studies is far gone. It doesn't help at all that the iced coffee he made you was the best you had in ages and with every sip you keep wondering what Choi San isn't good at.

I just know he fucks good there's no other way, you think to yourself but get interrupted in your thoughts.

"Are you stuck on something?" San asks you and you almost don't even dare to raise your eyes to look at him. A kind of shame overcomes you as you realize what you have been thinking about while he worries about your studies.

You sigh to buy yourself time to find an answer that doesn't include: Yes, I'm stuck because I can't think of anything but your body on top of mine.

"Yeah, I just can't seem to concentrate well lately. Maybe I'm stressed out because of my finals."

It isn't fully a lie. Your finals are approaching steadily and with you thirsting over your tutor instead of studying you are indeed starting to worry.

"I would love to tell you that grades don't matter too much but I know your mother won't agree and I will probably face her anger too if you fail," he laughs at the end of his sentence to lighten the mood but quickly notices he only stressed you more by saying that.

"I'm sorry," he quickly retracts. It feels like the first time you caught him messing up his smooth way of talking which in return makes you smile.

"No, you're right. I just never thought about the fact that she will hate both of us if I mess up. What a way to relax."

"I shouldn't have said that," San again apologizes. "I'm sure you will do amazing though. After all you studied so much."

He finishes his sentence with a wink and you must stare at him for a second like an idiot. Did you just imagine that? Or is he alluding to something? Does Choi San know that you thirsted for him this entire fucking time?

But his further actions don't allow you to think much more.

"You look quite tense actually," he continues. "You know it's not good for your back to sit stiff like this for a prolonged amount of time. Your neck must be hurting?"

You have no idea what he is talking about. And your confusion only grows as San gets up from his chair heading in your direction. Every step he comes closer to you has your heart pumping erratically. Even though you dreamed about him being closer to you and finally paying you more attention you are now paralysed at the situation unfolding. Simply being close to him renders your entire body useless.

San steps behind you and, to your absolute shock and amazement, his hands gently grasp your shoulders.

"To compensate the stress from university I took a physiology course that taught us how to massage tense muscles."

As if to proof his words his thumbs gently start rubbing circles into your neck. The warmth of his fingers seeps through your thin shirt and fills your entire body. It feels like he set you on fire with this simple touch.

All of this cannot be real. This must be a figment of your imagination or you actually fell asleep on your study notes while dreaming about San. But his voice sounds very much real when he resumes:

"You have to relax, otherwise I'll hurt you." His voice drops lower than usual and as he gently drapes your hair over one shoulder to get it out of his way you can feel his breath fanning over your neck. Goosebumps erupt all over your skin.

But amid the fire burning in your veins and your clouded mind you actually manage to ease into his fingers and allow him to loosen up your muscles.

"That's a good girl," he rasps behind you and you know you tipped over the edge now. There is no going back from this. You feel like a doll in his hands. His words are electrifying, leaving you unable to utter a single word, to make a single sound. Your mind is running on a state of emergency. Nothing seems to get to you but the fact that San is touching you.

And oh is he good at it. His hands are pressing into all the right places relieving all the pent up tension you built ever since getting ready for this meeting today. If his fingers are already this good at massaging out your stress you can't help but think about what else they can do.

"How do you feel?" He asks. His voice is still low and his tone taunting, as if he knows exactly what he's doing to you.

"Better," you answer. Your voice is merely a whisper. You sound weak, even in your own ears, and wonder if he even heard you.

"Yeah? Then how is this?" With his question his thumbs dip beneath the collar of your shirt and massage your upper back a little lower.

You can't help but close your eyes. The low tone of his voice, his fingers on your skin and the playfulness of his words. All of this is so overwhelming you can only lean back and revel in his touch.

"It feels so good," you manage to breath out when you realize he asked you a question.

He bends down a little, his mouth now right next to your ear. "Should I make you feel even better?"

He is quite literally the devil on your shoulder. Everything in your body screams for you to say yes immediately. The unspoken promise has your entire body on fire and you almost give in to your desire. But a tiny speck of reasonable thinking pulls you back into the dangerous territories you are moving in right now.

"What do you mean?" you ask carefully. You know that this is everything you wanted for the past few weeks but still you can't help being confused about his sudden change.

His left hand wanders from your back to your chin, tilting it to the side so you can look at him. The look in his eyes sends a shiver down your spine. His pupils are dilated and he is looking at you like he is preying on you. The intensity is something you have never seen in him before.

"You are far too smart to be asking that question, darling," he replies smugly.

"But you were never interested in me?" You ask back and want to hit yourself on the spot. Why are you even asking questions when the man you've desired for weeks finally seems to be making a move on you? But after all he is acting very out of character.

San chuckles, never taking his eyes off of you. "You're so cute. All these weeks that you've been wanting me and now you ask what I'm doing?"

Your mouth opens in shock. So he did in fact know all this time that you were interested in him.

"Don't act all surprised now, darling. You really thought I didn't see the way you looked at me ever since we first met? How your eyes keep focusing on my arms in my tight shirts. How you steal glances at me when you think I'm not looking? I wanted to see how long I could leave you thirsting like this before you would break."

His confession has you gasping as you realize you weren't even faintly as indiscreet as you thought you were. Instead San was playing with you the entire time. Watching your every move.

"Desperation looks so cute on you," he adds with another devilish smile. His fingers continue drawing circles into your back as his burning eyes keep you fixed in your spot. You feel bewitched by his entire presence, like he has cast a spell on you.

"I made all this effort to get you into my apartment so we both don't have to risk our lives by having me ruin you on the meeting table and still you didn't even have a clue. I'm almost disappointed if you weren't so cute when you are surprised like this." A satisfied grin plays around his plump lips, as if he revelling in the taste of this sweet opportunity in his hands. "Now be a good girl for me and finally do what you've been wanting to do for weeks. Tell me you want me."

You haven't taken a single breath since he started talking and as a result your head feels dizzy. It takes a short moment before you can finally form the words that your head is screaming at you.

"Please," you whisper pathetically.

"Please what, darling?" San revels in the way you can barely speak.

"Please ruin me."

You can basically see the fire behind his eyes ignite as you speak those three words. His hand wanders to your cheek, grabbing it firmly. He takes his sweet time to let his thumb run over your bottom lip, eyes trailing after his own movement.

"With pleasure."

Finally, his lips press onto yours in a desperate kiss. They feel just as soft as they always looked to you, but he kisses you with a roughness that is almost contradictory. The combination is intoxicating. As you reciprocate the kiss, heat runs through your limbs in shockwaves.

Suddenly impatient, San interrupts the kiss to pull you up and out of the chair by your arms. Grabbing your waist he manhandles you onto the dinner table instead, lifting you onto the ledge as if it was nothing.

Your hands bury in his hair as both your lips meet again in a rushed embrace. In return, San wedges one of his legs between yours and spreads your knees so he can stand between them. The way he handles you makes heat pool in your core. San has a determination to his every move that makes you want to do whatever he could want from you.

One of his hands still tightly grasping your waist, the other winds in your hair as he deepens the kiss. When his tongue enters your mouth you arch your back wanting to diminish every centimetre between you two. Your head is dizzy, completely overwhelmed by his every touch.

San's firm hands are restless on your heated body. His fingers quickly find a way to shift under your shirt and his thumb draws circles into the bare skin of your stomach. Choi San feels like a drug. His touch just as intoxicating as you always dreamed it to be.

He removes his mouth from your lips only to latch onto the fragile skin behind your ears, kissing his way around your neck. You let your head fall back to give him better access and when he starts sucking on your skin you relieve a small whimper.

You can feel San smirking into your skin as he sucks even more. It's like he has found your weakness and is now shamelessly using it to make you melt beneath his fingers. And it's working so well. Your hands lose grip on his hair as you lose your ability to focus on anything but San's lips on your neck.

"Don't tap out on me already, darling. I'm only getting started," he rasps into your ear in between kisses. You draw in a shaky breath at his words. Your legs feel like jelly even as your sitting down and you just know you won't be able to walk after San is finished with you.

He finally withdraws his lips and for a second just revels in your already dishevelled form: hair messy, red flush to your cheeks and lips glossy from kissing him.

"I'd love to have you on my dinner table but let's take this somewhere more comfortable for now," he says in a soft voice.

Hooking his hands under your thighs he picks you up from the table, carrying you towards his bedroom. Woken up from your trance by the change of motion you suddenly gain back some of your bite. While San is busied with carrying you, your fingers rush to the collar of his dress shirt. Oh how often you have dreamed of popping open those buttons one by one. And finally you have the pleasure to do so. A soft chuckle makes his chest move in front of you as San looks down on your actions.

"You couldn't wait, could you?"

"Why would I?" you reply cheekily as your hand smooths over his now exposed skin. He feels so soft and hot under your fingertips that you don't think you'll ever be able to detach.

San throws open his bedroom door with his shoulder and before you have a chance to take in the room you are thrown onto the plush bed. He follows behind immediately, hovering over you with both hands propped up next to your head. He lets his eyes run over your figure lazily, up and down.

"Don't even know where to start with you," he mumbles half to himself and half to you as he watches your chest rise and fall in heavy breaths. He decides to put on a show, sitting back on his heels and slowly continuing your work in unbuttoning his shirt.

Apart from his skin being exposed the simple act of opening some buttons shouldn't drive you as crazy as it does right now. It's simply the sexiest thing you have ever seen in your life. The way his hooded eyes stay on yours the entire time while one button after another falls open under his practiced movements.

You are moving on autopilot when you also sit up to take off your own shirt. You simply can't delay this any further. As your shirt lands somewhere beside the bed, San lets out a small groan, surprising you. He stopped in the middle of folding down his sleeves.

"How did you know that purple was my favourite colour?" He asks in a raspy voice. His eyes are raking over your deep purple bra with a desire in them that lets shivers run over your skin.

You can't imagine a better way to find out his favourite colour. You only chose it because it accentuates your skin tone but now it feels like fate to you. Finally, you are getting to the edges of Choi San. Getting to know him on a level that you were craving like the air you needed to breath.

"Good intuition," you reply. Your confidence surges under his heavy glances. Maybe a little too much. "Need help with that?" you ask him teasingly with a nod towards his shirt, which hangs open around his toned torso.

As soon as you speak those words you are getting pinned back to the bed, San's hand suddenly wrapped around your neck. He isn't putting any pressure on it yet but you can feel his strength pulsating around your neck. His broad shoulders are taking up most of your vision and with the way he glares at you you just know that you are soaked.

"Don't get too bold with me, darling," he says in a warning tone. "I'm the one in charge."

You look up at him through big, round eyes, lashes fluttering because you have a feeling that it will push just the right buttons in him.

"Go ahead then," you reply firmly. "Do whatever you want to me."

San sits up again and roughly tugs on his sleeves, finally discarding his shirt fully. Then his lips are on yours again in a heartbeat.

You greedily let your hands wander over his now fully exposed upper body. The muscles playing under his skin feel so good as he buries his hands in your hair. His biceps is so big that your fingers can barely wrap around it halfway. You can't get enough of touching his body which so far you only admired in fitted dressing shirts.

San kisses his way down from your lips again but this time he doesn't stop at your neck. Continuing down your chest he kisses the tender skin between your breasts. When he takes both hands to squish your breasts together, burying his face in between, you lose your last bit of composure.

"Please, San. Please just fuck me."

He lifts his head to smile at you devilishly. The fire behind his eyes seems so bright that you're scared it will never burn down again.

"Already begging for me? You're still half dressed and I'm only starting. Have a little patience."

As he finishes his words, his hand snakes behind your back to open your bra in a swift motion. He peels the straps off of you with a new found patience that makes you feel like you are suffocating.

When the piece of clothing lands on the floor, San's eyes are glued to your chest. Slowly, he lowers himself down again, gently taking on of your nipples into his mouth. As soon as his tongue starts lapping at you a string of moans escape you. He just feels so good.

Without ever losing focus on kissing and nipping on your chest, one of his hands wanders to your skirt. He finds the zipper so easily it feels like he has studied undressing you. He pushes it down your legs quickly, leaving you only in your underwear.

As his hand starts stroking your inner thighs, your eyes roll to the back of your head. He feels like a dream.

"Please San. Please touch me," the words leave your mouth in whispers. Silent pleas for him to finally give you what you want.

"Is my darling so stressed from studying that she needs her mind taken off of things?" His fingers trail over your clothed heat as he asks you in a sickly sweet voice. His eyes are focussed on your face, taking in how you crumble beneath his touch.

"Yes. Yes, please," you whimper desperately. Every touch feels like electricity on your skin.

"Want me to stuff you full so you can forget everything you've studied for for weeks?" He pushes your panties to the side, his fingers toying at your entrance.

"Please San..." you repeat yourself weakly. Finally he gives into your pleading and sinks two of his fingers into you. You are so wet that they glide in with ease. You suck in a harsh breath as he begins pumping them in and out of you.

"God you feel so good. Can't wait to fuck you, my darling. Bury my cock so deep into you you forget your own name."

His words make you shake beneath him. You had a lot of suspicions about San in the bedroom due to your extensive daydreaming about him. But never did you expect him to be so vocal and downright dirty with his words. It catches you off-guard and only heightens your pleasure.

San scoots up on the bed a little so his face is hovering over yours again, while he slips a third finger into your heat. "How do I feel?" he asks with a raspy tone to his voice.

"You feel so fucking good, San," you moan in answer. His fingers stretch you out so deliciously and he reaches this spot deep inside you that makes you arch your back with every thrust.

"Yeah, you wanna come on my fingers?" he rasps into your ear now, lips again attaching to your neck, sucking deep marks into your skin.

"Please, San." You feel like a broken record that's repeating the same thing over and over. You grow closer and closer to an orgasm with every motion of his fingers inside you. But San has other plans for you. And when he feels you desperately clenching around his fingers, he pulls them out of you.

"I'm sorry darling," he says immediately, even though his face doesn't display any regret. "But you look so pretty when you're desperate. And I want you to come on my cock when I make you fall apart for the first time."

You feel like crying. You want nothing more but to come and yet him taking it from you only makes you want him more. You would do anything for Choi San.

He stands up from the bed and opens his belt. But before he can take of his pants, he orders you over with a motion of his finger. You sit on your knees at the edge of the bed in seconds, looking up at him expectantly.

He doesn't say a word and only gestures for his painfully strained pants. You don't need any more hints to start opening his pants and pulling them down his legs desperately. You hook your fingers into his boxers too but look up at him once more before continuing. When he nods at you you finally pull them down as well.

You can't help but stare at San's length. He's big, just like you had always imagined and he was rock-hard. When San takes himself into his hand and gives himself a few strokes you open your mouth on your own, sticking out your tongue in anticipation of tasting him.

San starts gently. His other hand weaves into your hair and he pulls you onto his length slowly. You are able to take a good amount of him before his tip hits the back of your throat and you release a surprised moan. San closes his eyes momentarily as he relishes in the feeling of your hot mouth around him.

"Shit, you feel so good," he rasps out before he starts thrusting in and out of your mouth. Your hands seek hold on his muscular thighs and you look up at San through big and pleading eyes. Even though he isn't pleasuring you, this almost feels as good as having him bury his fingers inside you. All you ever dreamed about was him using you just like this and the feeling of it happening is so intoxicating you feel like you might pass out any second.

"Look at you enjoying my cock so damn much, that your eyes are losing focus," San chuckles. He looks down at you in disbelief as you mindlessly swirl your tongue around his cock. "You love being ruined by me, don't you?"

You can only manage a desperate nod and approving grunt as you continue sucking him of. No man has ever made you this desperate. As you look at him from beneath you feel like you have accomplished everything you ever wanted: his hair was dishevelled, his breaths uneven and a red tint painted his cheeks. All in all, Choi San lost his perfectly maintained appearance as you sucked on his cock and to you he looked 100 times prettier this way.

When his thrusts go sloppy, he pulls out of your mouth in a haste before he can come. "You're driving me crazy, darling," he grunts as he catches his breath for a second. In a more gentle tone he resumes: "Lay back on the bed for me, ok?"

You do as he says, laying down on your back in the middle of the bed, your body buzzing with the anticipation of what is to come. San goes to his dresser, opening a drawer to get a condom. 

When he climbs over you he looks at you intensely. But at the same time his eyes hold a softness that makes you feel secure.

"Are you sure about going on, y/n?" he asks warmly. No petnames this time. He wants a clear answer.

"Never been so sure in my life," you reply with a smile and his lips mirror yours as he beams down at you.

Quickly he sits up to open the condom and roll it onto his member. Opening your legs with his knee he situates himself between you and positions his cock at your entrance. One hand on your hip and the other holding his cock, he slowly sinks himself into you while carefully observing your face.

Your eyes flutter when he is fully inside of you and you moan at the feeling. San releases a grunt as well and waits a few seconds deep inside of you.

"Fuck, you're so tight for me, my darling. Don't worry I won't stop this time until you come." And with that he starts thrusting into you. He begins with slow and deep thrusts but as soon as you get used to his size he speeds up rapidly. 

His abs are flexing underneath is skin as he grabs onto your hip and pistons himself into you. With every thrust you can feel him hit this spongy part deep inside of you that makes heat build in your core with a throbbing intensity. Meanwhile you revel in the sight above you: San looks like a god. His muscular body moving above you is almost enough to push you over the edge but what's even more entrancing is his face. His expressions seem almost possessed. Like a demon took over him as soon as he started fucking you, he fixes his eyes onto yours.

"Am I fucking you good? Making you forget all your precious studies?" There they are again. His filthy words driving you down a one-way-road to insanity. "I hope you forget everything so you have to see me even more, darling. Then I can keep on fucking this tight little cunt over and over again."

"Fuck, San!" you moan out, being shocked by his words. His control over you is baffling and you can't help but grow closer and closer to your orgasm with every word.

"I know you like me like that, darling. Do me a favour and come on my cock so I can finally see you lose yourself will you?"

You can't form an answer. Endless moans tumble out of your mouth in increasing volume and San knows he has you exactly where he wants. 

"Come for me."

Your orgasm hits you with an explosive intensity. Faintly, you notice yourself moan at a concerning volume as your high washes over your body. But San doesn't seem to mind. Your legs are shaking and he helps you ride out the feeling with slower strokes. He waits for your breath to slow down again before he leans down to you and places a gentle kiss onto your lips.

"I want you on your knees in front of me," he says sweetly as soon as your lips separate and your head is spinning. Still you manage to get up with the help of his arm beneath your waist and you let yourself be positioned in front of San, your back to him.

Since you didn't have the opportunity to examine his bedroom earlier you only now notice the big mirror on his wardrobe next to his bed. Looking ahead, you can now see yourself on your knees, sitting in front of San.

You look even more dishevelled than you feel: Your hair is all over the place and some of your eyeliner smudged and a handful of dark purple marks littering your neck. Also, a red tint covers your skin, making you look flushed. San behind you smirks as you examine your own figure.

"You look so pretty all messed up like this for me, don't you think?"

His arm wraps around your waist as he leans your body back onto his broad chest. You look tiny in front of his build.

"I'll make you look even prettier," he promises as he sinks himself back into you.

He picks up his intense pace from before and you already feel dizzy again. With his arm holding you tight he is basically lifting you up and down his cock. At this angle he is hitting you deeper than before and you are sure you won't last very long until your next high.

But nothing could've prepared you for the feeling of San winding his other arm around you too, his fingers gently starting to stroke your clit. Your head falls back onto San's shoulder as you give in to the mind-numbing pleasure that starts buzzing through your body.

"Keep your eyes on me, darling. I want to watch you fall apart."

His voice sounds sulky, almost cute. It doesn't match his relentless thrusts and his fingers pleasuring you. It takes all your strength to lift your head again and look at San through the mirror. His eyes are hooded now, a shin layer of sweat making his flawless skin shine in the evening light.

"You make me feel so good," you manage to say as San keeps on pounding into you. You want him to know how he makes you feel. How good he is being to you.

"Am I?" He smiles in satisfaction as he watches your brows draw together with a particularly deep thrust. "You too, darling. You feel so good around me I don't think I can last much longer. But you'll come one more time for me, right?"

His voice sounds so deep and sultry in your ears. "Of course, Sannie," you mumble absent-mindedly. You don't even notice the nickname until he chuckles behind you.

"How can you be so cute and so sexy at the same time? You'll be the death of me, my good little girl."

He places a kiss onto your cheek and that is what finally drives you over the edge.

"Fuck, San. I'm coming," you moan out before your high crashes over you. If he wasn't holding you, you would fall to the ground. You try to hold eye contact with San through the reflection but your eyes keep on shutting as waves of pleasure roll over you. You have never felt such an intensity before.

But San's thrust don't slow down this time. He keeps on rutting into you relentlessly, driving you to insanity. You feel like you're swimming in a pool of pleasure.

"I'm close, darling. Just a little longer," San's voice is pitched higher than before, sounding just as desperate as you feel. You want nothing more but for him to come.

"Please, Sannie. I want you to come so bad."

Your desperate pleas are San's final straw. Clutching your body tight to his own, he finishes with his cock buried deep inside you. You can feel him pulsating in your heat and your moans mix into his grunts as you milk him for every last drop of his cum.

As you both slowly recover San pulls out of you and gently lays you back onto the bed. You can't do anything but catch your breath while he gets up to rid himself of the condom and return to you with a glass of water.

"Drink something," he urges you on and you take the glass from him. He watches you with a tinge of worry in his eyes. After taking a few sips you offer the glass back to him.

"You should drink some too, I'm sure you worked your body more than I did."

He smiles at your words and takes some water too before returning the glass to his bedside table. When he looks back at you there is a heaviness to his gaze that worries you.

"What is it?" you ask.

San takes a deep breath before answering you. "No matter what I said to you before, I actually didn't expect us to tumble into this as quickly as we did right now. And I want you to know that I didn't do this to use you or take any advantage of you."

His hand nervously grabs for the back of his neck. "Actually, I've been interested in you ever since we first met but I fear the tension between us was quicker than both of us."

You try to process his words even in your hazy state of mind. A spark of excitement surges through your body as you realize what he is saying.

"I feel the same, San," you reply truthfully. "I like you. And not just because you're insanely handsome."

You are glad when he laughs shyly at your words.

"So maybe I can take you out on a date that doesn't involve work or pharmacy studies sometime?"

"I hope sometime means this week, because I waited long enough for you already."

After everything that happened this evening, this moment when he smiles at you might be what makes your heart beat the fastest. You can't believe your luck as you look Choi San into the eyes and he leans in for a kiss.

-----------------

"This was a stupid idea," you say to San but maybe more to yourself. "I should tell her alone."

"How will she ever respect me again if I let you do this alone?" San replies worriedly. "She told me to tutor you and now here we are. I will look terrible either way."

You have never seen him this nervous. But after all, your mother has the ability to make everybody scared for their life. You two pass her assistant's desk with a polite greeting as you head straight for your mother's office. She knows you are coming but she doesn't know you're bringing company.

You knock carefully on the door until her voice calls you in. Your mother stays seated as you two enter the room. She doesn't look surprised or confused about San's appearance but rather intrigued.

"Why are you visiting me today, y/n?" she asks simply.

Your heart is beating out of your chest as you prepare for answering.

"I have something to announce to you," you start off as confident as you can. 

Your mother's eyes flick between you and San. "Go on."

"San- ... Mr. Choi and I, we are..." your voice is shaking. Why is this so hard for you?

But San grabs for your hand, linking his fingers with yours as he confidently finishes your sentence: "We are in a relationship, director Kim."

His boldness strikes you as admiring. Maybe he was right about accompanying you.

A silence that draws out unbearably long fills the room. You feel like your lungs are being compressed with every passing second.

Then your mother smiles. It's not exactly a smile of happiness. It speaks more of victory.

"Finally," she announced. "It took you two longer than I expected."

Now it's your turn to be silent. Both you and San are stunned in your places.

Finally you find your voice to ask: "What do you mean, mom?"

She smiles at you in satisfaction.

"You see: Mr. Choi is a good man. He's a gentleman, treats his colleagues with the utmost respect, excels at his job and is handsome too. How could I find a better match for my beloved daughter? But I know you wouldn't be interested if I were to formerly introduce you two so I thought I'd help you in a different way."

Your mouth falls open in shock. Out of all things, your mother purposefully setting you up with San has never even crossed your mind. Your boyfriend seems even more shocked at the revelation than you, his face reddened and a stunned expression on his face.

"So you set us two up?" You finally ask your mother.

"Of course I did! And it worked out brilliantly, don't you think? I'm glad you both came to tell me. Mr. Choi?"

San perks up at her words. "Yes?"

"I assume you will take good care of my daughter?"

"Of course I will," he replies sternly, voice full of sincerity. "I will do everything care for y/n." His words make you feel warm and fuzzy.

Your mother nods approvingly. "Then you two may leave. I still have work to do."

You both nod hastily and thank your mother before turning back for the door.

"Oh, before I forget. Y/n?" your mother asks one last time.

"Yes?"

"I received your test results that you sent me. They look very promising."

I hope you enjoyed <3 Pls reblog and leave feedback if you can :)

Tags: @voicesinmyhead-rc

[signanothername]

Why do you like Killer?

*Cracks knuckles* get ready

I don’t like Killer, I fucking LOVE HIM

He’s my number 1 fave au sans and has been for a very long time

Now to be clear, I’m talking about canon Killer here, i have mixed feelings about some fanon interpretations, some are good and i genuinely love them, others not so much

That being said, let’s actually talk about why i love my beautiful amazing wonderful son <3333

(All art used in this post is by Killer’s creator: Rahafwabas)

The very first hook for me is his very concept, the mere idea of a sans basically agreeing to go on a killing spree after so many genocide runs is just *chef’s kiss*

Killer knew it was wrong, he knew he shouldn’t, yet he did

Killer doomed himself by his choice, he could’ve stayed as “sans” but he chose to accept Chara’s offer, yet his choice came to be after he saw no point in refusing anymore (important addition and a correction here)

The canon comics had Killer saying that he’s the way he is cause he gave up, he said “you won, you’re the reason I’m like this”, he’s been on so many genocide runs that he felt a little part of him die each run, only to give up and go on said killing spree

It’s interesting how the player is a big part of Killer’s story, cause whether Chara was involved or not, the player is the root cause of his suffering

But what i love the most is that regardless of his backstory or reasons, Killer’s actions led to their inevitable consequences, and it forever changed him

The biggest change? His very soul, it went from a normal monster soul to his signature target soul, infused with Determination, something that supposedly hurts monsters, it’s almost like his soul was infected with it, and you can see how it physically affects him with the black liquid that constantly comes out his eyes, nose and mouth, and even at times, that sludge is too much that he chokes on it

And the amusing yet tragic parallel? Killer aimed to “feel something new” by his genocide runs, only to end up not feeling anything at all, at least at his default stage 2

Which brings me to the concept of his soul’s stages

I love Killer’s stages so so much, it’s such a beautiful unique and wonderful concept

Killer’s individual stages are sooooo intriguing to me, it shows Killer in a different light each time depending on which stage he’s in, stage 1 is the closest he is to being “sans”, the closest to he used to be, he can feel emotions and is generally back to his more lazy bones attitude, as well as his ability to actually show sympathy, and feel the pain he’s always in, but what’s interesting is that regardless of the fact he’s the closest to his old self in this stage, it’s still so clear that Killer isn’t really “sans” anymore, that no matter what, he truly had changed in a way that can never be reversed, a point of no return, even when Color saves him, cause his new habits? His fears? His pain? His trauma? They can never be taken away, Killer has to live with the scars of what he experienced

Stage 2 is who he’d become, he can’t feel anything at this stage, emotions nonexistent, and his nonchalant behavior towards himself and others is most apparent here, a parallel I like to think of is that Killer’s inability to feel anything at all is almost like prolonged sensory deprivation, when you’re deprived of sensory input/ simulation for long periods, your brain needs compensate, and so it does its job, Killer’s soul prevents him from feeling so he resorts to other methods (usually very self destructive) to compensate for his lack of emotional capacity

I also really really love how that especially during stage 2, Killer isn’t trustworthy, cause in stage 1 you can actually trust him to an extent, in stage 2 Killer’s actions, behaviors and mindset are completely unpredictable, but not because he’s random, cause he’s actually extremely calculated, yet regardless, his carelessness when it comes to his own life and other people’s lives is dialed to an 11 here, so he could either choose to kill/attack or simply stay and listen

we even get an actual in depth look at how Killer’s mind works in one of the canon comics, in which Killer contemplates whether to attack Dream or not as he listens to his own stages in his head, one of which tells him to Kill Dream, while the other tells Killer to talk to Dream first

How Killer comes to a final decision on whether he attacks or not is something I believe his calculated mind makes depending on the situation and the pros/cons of what act he chooses, Killer is pretty smart, he knows when to let his trigger happy self out and when to settle down

Stage 3 or the “crazy stage” is the stage in which he’d attack anyone in his way whether friend or foe, we unfortunately don’t have much canon info regarding this stage, but that ain’t gonna stop me from analyzing the shit outta it (and talk about how i perceive it)

I like to think of this stage as the combination between stage 1 and 2, yet it’s almost like his soul can’t truly decide on which stage to settle on and by extension founding stage 3 as a separate stage by itself, Killer becomes extremely unstable at this stage, his soul moves rapidly and it’s obvious he’s in pain cause of it, whether that pain is just emotional or both physical and emotional isn’t really clear, yet i’d like to believe it’s both, and i feel like Killer’s capacity to attack anyone at this stage is related to that pain, and something I really love to believe is that Killer can’t calm down enough to settle back to stage 1 or 2 unless he either wears himself out by fighting someone, or he’s left alone to his own demons long enough to pull himself together, if he were to be forcefully restrained during this stage, it would only serve to make it worse and prolong the time he stays that way (cough something i may or may not have made a quick comic about but never shared as always vjvjvjj)

Not to mention, one of the canonical responses Killer gives when asked if he’s ok at stage 3 seems to make Killer alternate between answers he wants to give between saying he’s “fine” and “i don’t know” which makes sense, Killer isn’t stable at all, it’s almost like his stage 1 self and stage 2 self are fighting over who gets to talk (stage 2 seems more dominant)

Yet the fact Killer is able to answer and comprehend his surroundings enough at this stage is very intriguing to me, cause it shows how much Killer is able to handle/endure (which is A LOT cause damn) and not only that, but it also gives us a very clear difference between this stage and stage 4

As for stage 4?? Woooh boi, it’s the stage I like to call “plunging into darkness”

We also don’t have much canon info about this stage, but one of the things i find interesting is the fact Killer deliberately keeps it a secret from everyone, when he tells Color about his stages, he only tells him up to stage 3, never bringing up stage 4, only for Chara to sneer at Killer that he shouldn’t keep it from his new BFF

It’s obvious Killer himself is very uncomfortable with the subject of stage 4, it’s apparent that it’s a stage that he rarely gets to, but it still bothers him enough to not want to even mention it, which makes sense, cause the comic we had of stage 4 shows that Killer gets to that stage when he’s reminded of all the murders he committed, and unsurprisingly, when he’s reminded of his brother, as what triggered this stage is actually a memory of Papyrus telling Sans to “see a puzzle”, only to be followed by memories of screams of anger, fear, and hatred of those he killed immediately afterwards, stage 4 is heavily related to his trauma

Not to mention it’s clear that when Killer gets to stage 4 he blacks out, he’s completely unaware of anything he does during this stage, and is only left to deal with the aftermath when he gets back to his senses, the fact it’s also a stage that seems to be “getting worse” is something that Killer definitely seems to hate

It sometimes makes me think whether Killer had gotten into trouble cause he killed someone Nightmare wanted alive while at this stage, cause with how he keeps it a secret, I’d assume Nightmare would be unaware of it for a while (comic idea perhaps >:) )

But y’know what’s better than talking about the stages?? Talking about Killer’s personality, behaviors and trauma

Killer can’t distinguish between what’s real or not, and it’s obvious he sometimes sees the world in the third person, as in he’s not completely there at times, not to mention the amount of voices he hears in his head, from his stages talking to him to hallucinations of Chara, Frisk and Papyrus, and oooh boi does he hate these hallucinations, the past obviously haunts Killer and it’s something he tries running away from constantly, yet he can never truly run from it when it follows him everywhere

Killer has a smile on his face most the time, but his attitude changes especially when Chara is mentioned, or when he’s reminded of his past in any way, he literally avoids food that reminds of his past life as “sans”, he freezes up at certain phrases such as “best friend” (something i also made a comic about that i never shared chchhchc)

He just absolutely hates to be reminded of the person he used to be, of all the things he used to have, cause in truth? They were all taken away from him by his own hands, only to be then forced to work under Nightmare, who only ensures that he never finds peace of mind

And the sad part? Killer let’s all those things hurt him, he lets Nightmare have his way with him, he lets Chara torment him, cause he thinks he deserves it, and most importantly, he deluded himself into believing that this is what he wants because it’s what everyone else wants, because it’s what the player wants

Killer even sometimes tries to force himself not to feel anything, cause come on, since when does he feel anything at all?

Killer, to put it bluntly, hates himself, and he thinks that his suffering is the Karma of what he’s done, and even at one point, he was going to erase himself out of existence cause he believed that’s what he deserved, as in Killer thought of himself as unworthy when it comes to Papyrus, that his brother doesn’t need him, that his brother is better off without him, hell he even tells Color that he needs to kill him if he ever reaches stage 3, it’s an obvious “ i want someone to put me outta my misery” attitude

Killer feels hopeless, and so he lets himself suffer thinking he can’t ever find peace or hope again

Yet the interesting part? You’d never know that Killer hates himself unless you’re a being of emotions (Nightmare and Dream) or someone who’s perceptive enough to notice Killer’s self-loathing like Color, that’s how good of an actor Killer can be, you’d think he’s a cold emotionaless killer but the truth only shines to those who actually can see through his act

Killer just has that amazing character depth and his story is genuinely so unique and beautiful, cause you in his story you can find details of other details within the details vhvhvjvj

All that? Mixed with really adorable little things like his love for cats, his silly attitude, his nonchalance with Nightmare, his capacity to be social with whoever, and his friendship with color? That is why I love Killer Anon <33333

[twig-tea]

I've been enjoying reading folks' theories about whether Vee is Vad; @lurkingshan has laid down bets that they are the same person, while @he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle made a great case for why they shouldn't be, @italianpersonwithashippersheart gave an explanation as to who she could be instead (a test), and @happypotato48 made clear he'd be mad if they are. @heretherebedork noted that it's likely Vee is Vad but even if this girl is the reincarnation of Vad, she's still not the same person. @babyangelsky made the point that whether or not they're the same person, what's important is San making the choice; but also it's likely this girl was sent by the villain who is likely not dead yet.

Gonna add my own clown theory to the mix: I think everyone is right (I remain on brand at all times). Vee is Vad because San prayed to a goddess and got his soul tied to theirs and the way the magic has been functioning, we would need another explanation if they weren't. But, at the same time, Vee is not Vad because people are not the same just because of reincarnation; They are no longer the same person. And it was important for San to fall in love with Vee for Vee; even though it was the magic/fate that brought them into one another's paths, San still had to choose to open his heart to him. I also think it's important for him to choose Vee over the memory of Vad. So I think this Vad doppleganger is a kind of test, though possibly from a mortal source (I like Leah's theory above that it was the villain who sent her and I thought the same when I watched the episode; having Anastasia vibes of someone being primed with info to pass as a lost relative lol). I am going to go a little more wild on the dreams to say I think the dreams are just his own imagination and insecurities and uncertainties. He thought he was sure, but then he wasn't. That's why it's important for San to make the decision to love Vee not because he thinks he's Vad, but because he loves him enough to be willing to be with him even if he isn't Vad.

As long as San wrestles with that question, I will honestly be happy no matter whether Vee is Vad or not. Because the point is, it doesn't matter.

[kingpains]

i saw a post about daniel derailing the career he worked so hard for (abandoned his family for) as soon as he became a vampire and how that didn’t sit right with some people, and it’s taken me a week to figure out why it sits right with me

it’s heavily implied that during the week daniel was trapped in san francisco in the 70s, the hypnosis he underwent impacted his career as well as his memories. he’s a bright young journalist with a point of view. he’s a bright young journalist with a point of view. it kept him afloat

in a world where he hadn’t conducted that interview with louis, where he hadn’t heard that refrain, would he have abandoned his future family for his job? would he have pursued journalism with so much fervor if he wasn’t clinging onto being a bright young man with a point of view?? that was his rock. his entire world rebuilt itself around his pursuit of journalism after that interview, and the rest of his life was damned to falling second to his job, no matter what. he had parkinson’s and flew across the world to re-interview somebody who tried to KILL him their first time meeting (as far as he knew)

i think it’s honestly relieving to see daniel be so brazen on television after he’s turned. to throw his career away after 50 years of putting it in front of everything else. he’s allowed to let go in his afterlife and find other priorities. form new relationships and build his life around something other than being a bright young man with a point of view. after so long pursuing a single minded goal and putting himself in harm’s way for the truth and pushing everything else aside, and after getting the dark gift, i think it’s a solid character choice to have him throw it away

he’s got the money. he’s immortal now. he and his job already ruined his family. why should he still cling to it?? why does he need to keep being a bright young man? he has a point of view, but he’s never been the Protagonist. his work was important, but he was never the focus of it. he was a facilitator of others’ stories for his entire life. and now he gets to flip the script and throw off the man interviewing HIM for once, and he doesn’t have to worry about the consequences. he’s never worried about the consequences; now he’s literally untouchable. why WOULDN’T he throw his career away

[darkpetal16]

So we've got mafiafell wingding and papyrus headcanons, but what about mafiafell sans? Even a crumb would be very appreciated

Oh man. I put these HC undercut for 1.) T/W for toxic relationship and 2.) Spoilers for one of his bad endings in the game.

Mafiafell!Sans is a hot mess and puts the yan in yandere.

Ooooo boy. He’s a walking, talking red flag.

He’s a Judge: a monster born with the Judgment ability. His magic is toxic to anyone with EXP or LVL (including himself, although he has built up resistance) and he can see the truth of anyone’s SOUL.

His ability awakened at a young age in an unexpected outburst that resulted in the death of one of Asgore’s Royal Guards. By consequence, in order to avoid execution, he had to become the newest Judge.

He, essentially, became a glorified hitman for the Dreemur family at a young age, with the added bonus of each of his kills causing magic whiplash and damaging himself in the process.

He’s seen a lot of awful things, and done a lot worse things.

It. . . Doesn’t sit well with him.

He never wanted to take a life. He never wanted to hurt anyone.

But he had that choice taken away from him, and now he’s in too deep. The EXP, in conjunction with his Judgment ability, has warped him in a deeply disturbing way.

He’s volatile, violent, and viscous. And bitter. So, very, very bitter.

He’s got a short temper, but how he acts on it depends on the severity of his rage. For “smaller” issues, it’s an instantaneous reaction of violence. For the big issues, it’s something he’ll stew over and take his time to seek retribution. Basically: If he gets loud fast, the person will probably make it out alive. If he gets quiet though? They’re dead. And they’re not dying easily.

His volatility is a big reason why he always has Papyrus or Wingding nearby for important events.

This does mean that early in the relationship, when none of them know how well he can control himself around you, all of your dates will be secretly chaperoned by either Wings or Pap. You’ll likely never see them, but they’re there for your (physical) wellbeing and Sans’ (mental) wellbeing.

After a lifetime of absolute garbage thrown his way, you are a desperately needed breath of fresh air. He was drowning in misery and you’re the lifeline thrown to him. He will latch on with a zealous fervor.

Any bit of happiness and affection you give him, he’ll greedily devour. The more you give, the more he’ll come to need you until he literally will not tolerate you out of his life.

So do not commit, do not engage, do not give this man any type of hope for a relationship unless you’re ready for that level of emotional dependency. Breaking it off once it’s too late won’t end well for either of you. Because he’s type who can love a doll as much as the real deal.

But if that’s your thing too? If this is what you need too. . . ?

He’s your guy. Loyal. Ferociously loyal. Would fight an army for you. Would go to war for you. Would break any law for you. He supports your wrongs and your rights equally, as long as he gets to be by your side in the process.

He didn’t have money growing up (all money earned had to go into paying back his “debt” to the Dreemur family), so now that he has it he likes to spend it. Especially on loved ones (you & his brothers). Shopping trips are a bi weekly thing, and they always end in a fancy dinner date.

He wants to travel the world, and he’ll gleefully take you with him. He wants to visit a place that’s always dark, and someplace where the sun never sets. He wants to see the auroras, and an endless sea of sand.

He’s always wanted to go to school to learn. Always wanted to learn physics, mechanical engineering, and astronomy. Never could, and he thinks it’s too late now. He’ll always brush it off if you try to encourage him.

But if you take him to college lectures on the stuff, he’s like a kid in a candy shop. You’ll see a glimpse of what he was like before he became a Judge; a childlike level of sincere happiness, and a small smile on his face.

Dates are extravagant. He knows he’s fucked in the head so he’s hoping to keep your attention by impressing you. Maybe if you’re wowed enough you’ll forgive his cracks.

Speaking of cracks, he’s got the most broken bones in the family. Most of the time, Wings or Toriel can heal such injuries but ones caused by his Judge ability don’t heal.

If you ask about them he’ll give you increasingly crazier stories. Anything is better than the truth.

Speaking of stories, he loves to tell them and loves to listen. If you’d like to read, he would genuinely love it if you read him. It doesn’t matter the genre, he just enjoys them with a pure sincerity.

And if you want him to read to you? That’s fine by him. Although you’ll probably have to pick out the books… And forgive him when he stumbles on words. He didn’t have a proper education growing up. What he knows is what Wings has been able to teach him in their very limited free time. 

He can sing! Specifically lullabies, because that was the only thing that could sue Papyrus when he was a toddler. It’s not something he likes others to know, however, he’ll make the exception for you.

He can also cook. Very well. He learned along side Papyrus as something for the two of them to do together. He didn’t have a lot of free time and he didn’t want Papyrus to feel lonely, so he would learn how to cook with him. 

Very good at reading people. Even without his judge ability, he’s an expert at reading, micro expressions, understanding someone’s tone, and interpreting body language. His intuition is above reproach, even Asgore trusts it. 

He learned sign language when Wings lost his voice for a few months. Sans thought it would be come permanently so he stayed up late to learn it and be ready to teach it to Wings. Thankfully, Wings recovered so it’s been a rarely used skill.

Quality time is important to him. If you have something important in your life that you want him to attend, absolutely nothing will stop him from being there. 

Don’t try to get him jealous. Not only will your suitor be killed, but if he thinks you’re doing it on purpose, he won’t let it go. He won’t lay a hand on you. . . he doesn’t have to to discourage you from ever thinking about doing that again.

He’s a hot mess. There’s no getting around this. There is no therapy in his time, and the toxic masculinity expected of him will prevent him from ever admitting his emotional vulnerabilities in any way that matters.

He’ll be tender for you. He’ll be soft for you. He’ll be kinder around you. He won’t raise his voice. He won’t lay a hand on you. He’ll support your dreams, financially and emotionally. He’ll start with you if you want.

But that’s the extent of what he can do for now, and for a long times

And that’s the best he can do.

PLAY IF - MAFIAFELL HERE FOR HIS ROUTE

HC MASTERLIST HERE

[mossywriting]

Apparently, Kallus wrote a memoir about serving the Empire and the Rebel Alliance, and I have so many headcanons about this I just had to get one of them out

Hey @woottoncreek @jackieparty I did the thing

Bright flames flickered in the fireplace, filling the study with a warm, comfortable light. The sun over Lira San had long since set, but the flames were more than enough to make up for the darkness outside. 

As the door to the study opened, a breeze drifted in, causing Kallus to lift his gaze from the blank page before him. In the viewport’s reflection, he found Zeb stepping inside, balancing two cups of tea on a tray in one hand. In his other hand was a plate with what now must be Kallus’ cold dinner. 

Kallus turned in his chair, grimacing apologetically. “I’m sorry. What time is it?”

Zeb placed the plate next to Kallus with a fond chuckle. “Time for you to take a break.” He pushed away the stylus on the desk to make room for the tray. 

“Yeah.” Kallus dragged a hand down his face. He shook his head before glancing down at the book before him. “I just… It’s really important I get this part right.”

Zeb pushed their old armchair up to the desk, seating himself with a cup of tea. “How far have you gotten?”

For a moment, Kallus was quiet, his eyes staring unseeingly at the page before him. Then, he turned to meet Zeb’s eyes with a small, contemplative smile. “Bahryn.”

A smile mirroring Kallus’ grew on Zeb's lips, and he slowly nodded. “I see. That's… That's pretty complicated stuff.”

Kallus nodded, his eyes returning to the book. Bahryn had been the beginning of many things. It had also been the end of a life he had poured everything into. He wished he could say that end had been a long time coming. Unfortunately, that hadn’t been the case. Zeb called it complicated. And, well, in a way, Kallus supposed it was; discovering the truth about the Empire and consequently becoming a rebel spy hadn’t been easy, but… Could it really be considered complicated if all it took for him to question everything was one night in the company of an honorable man?

“Bahryn was a lot of things, but honestly? I wouldn't change any of it.” Zeb nudged Kallus with his elbow, his smile turning warm.

Zeb’s touch had Kallus return to the present, where all his choices had already been made. “I could think of a thing or two,” he muttered. To steer the conversation away from the dark corner of his mind he would rather not find himself in tonight, he pointedly placed his hand on his right knee, gently massaging the spot where an ache had been building for the last hour. 

A soft sigh was followed by Zeb’s murmured, “You’re right.” He moved the cane leaning against the desk to the side to scoot closer. “Are you gonna mention your knee?”

“Ofcourse.” Kallus turned to Zeb with raised eyebrows. “How else could I explain why my enemy decided to not just kill me straight away?”

A playful spark entered Zeb’s eyes, and he tilted his head to the side. “Your rugged good looks?”

Kallus snorted, shaking his head. “Don’t sell yourself short.”

Zeb shrugged. “It wasn’t that big of a deal.” 

Kallus gave Zeb an incredulous look. It seemed his husband would be the first to get a copy of his memoir once it was finished. Kallus placed his hand over Zeb’s, locking their gazes. “It was everything. And the Galaxy should know it.“

[funishment-time]

Kodaka BlueSky Q&As: Male DR Characters (Specific)

⚠️ DISCLAIMER: Please be advised! Translations of all Japanese answers derive from a combination of Google Translate and my manager's three-quarters-remembered Japanese. We've tried our best to work out what he's saying, but there will be mistakes here and there. Do not take this as gospel!

To avoid spreading (too much) misinfo, where we're completely boggled about an answer, we've decided not to even make an attempt. We'll still list the post, but mark it accordingly.

➡️ AN IMPORTANT NOTE FROM KODAKA BEFORE READING:

First of all, the questions answered here are not official. Everything that is official is what is said within the work. In contrast, this is simply what Kodaka, the creator, thinks, and it is not the correct answer. Use this as a starting point to enjoy the depth of each character, or to say, "That's not right!" and enjoy it with your own interpretation. I think of this as a way of communicating with the characters who live in fiction. This is important, so please spread the word.

💕 FEBRUARY 2024:

Q: What do you think of Matsuda Yasuke?!

A: As I was writing, I thought he was a fascinating and cool guy.

/////

Q: Is there any difference in the mindset of Ouma Kokichi (main story) and Ouma Kokichi (salmon mode)?

A: I didn't write Salmon Mode, I left that up to the staff.

NOTE: As stated, Kodaka didn't write V3's "dating sim" mode. You'll see him refer to that a few times.

/////

Q: If you have a favorite character in Danganronpa, I'd like to hear it and why.

A: I wrote them all as if they were the main characters, so I like them all, but I guess it's Monokuma. He was the first character I created.

/////

Q: Before the release of V3, Saihara-kun was often mistaken for a woman, but was that something you were aiming for? Also, was it you who chose the voice actor?

A: That wasn't my intention. I did want him to appear timid, though. I think out of the several candidates I received, Hayashibara-san was my first choice, and I said "Yes, please!"

/////

Q: Were there any characters that you had trouble moving around the narrative after creating them? If not, please tell us which character was the easiest to move!

A: Tanaka Gundam was too much of a chuunibyou and it was difficult. The ones that were easiest to move were Monokuma, Ouma, and Hagakure!

NOTE: A "chuunibyou" is a kid, generally 12-13, who believes they have secret powers or a grand backstory. Gundham's a bit old to be a chuuni by Kodaka's own admission in the DR2 artbook, but that was apparently part of the charm (and why it was so difficult to write him). It's spiritual Naruto running.

/////

Q: A question! Fujisaki's middle school uniform is different in the anime version of DR1 (navy blue collar) and Ultra Despair Girls (pink collar). Is there any intention behind this? I'd like to play Kodaka's games even years and decades from now! I'll continue to support you 🎮

A: With anime, there are a lot of different things going on and things like color settings often change. Thank you! I'll keep working hard so that everyone can enjoy it, even if it kills me!

/////

Q: How happy do you think Hinata would be if you gave him some kusamochi?

A: Hinata: "Oh, kusamochi! I love it! Hey, let's eat it together! Oh, I'll go make some tea!"

NOTE: Kusamochi is a type of sweet.

/////

Q: What happens if you point an electrified hammer or Komaru's megaphone-type hacking gun at Keebo?

A: This is gross discrimination against robots! Don't ever do this!

/////

Q: Ishimaru-kun, do you like to put lemon on your fried chicken?

A: He's the type of person who likes to put lemon on others' portions as well.

/////

Q: After the ending of the Hope Arc anime, what are Hinata and the others doing? Are they still supporting the Future Foundation from behind the scenes? Or are they just normally affiliated with the Future Foundation?

A: I guess he pretends to act the role as an enemy of the world, ostensibly as an enemy of the fallen Future Foundation, but uses his talents to save various people as he moves from one place to another.

/////

Q: Could you please tell us what kind of discussions and circumstances took place among the production team that led to Tanaka Gundam's pants becoming like that?

A: It's just for fun.

/////

Q: Lately, I've been wondering about Ishimaru's life in junior high school, and I'm in a state where all I can eat is sweet food!

A: He had a free-spirited friend like Shin-chan from Crayon Shin-chan, and he was constantly being pushed around by him. But then the friend moved away, and young Ishimaru was lonely.

/////

Q: What's going on with Kamukura Izuru after Danganronpa Anime 3: Future Arc/Despair Arc? Do you feel like Kamukura Izuru has lost his personality?

A: I figured that he had fused with Hinata...or rather, that he had been almost absorbed into him.

/////

Q: I would like to know the people who are "not boring" to Ouma...

A: Boring people.

/////

Q: What do you think of Sakura Ogami, Kenshiro?

A: Although he has mixed feelings towards her, he believes she is a good rival.

/////

Q: Why did Momota-kun want to hug Akamatsu-san in v3-1? Was it because he had romantic feelings for her, or did he want her to hit on him in the confusion, or did he have any ulterior motives?

A: Momota immediately hugged her in gratitude.

/////

Q: Sorry if this has already been said. When I first watched Danganronpa, I was really drawn to Togami-kun's charm, but even though he has no flaws, does he have a weakness for his favorite person or for ____?

A: Weak to Naegi.

/////

Q: Does Komaeda Nagito know about cat memes?

A: I want to see a Komaeda cat meme. Someone make one. A Ouma cat meme would be fine too.

/////

Q: What does it look like to those around you when you are doing Logic Dives or Hangman's Gambit?

A: "Hinata! Come back! Hey, can you hear me?! No good, I'll have to give you stronger medicine!"

NOTE: It's unclear who's answering. Mikan?

🍀 MARCH 2024:

Q: Excuse me for the second question! Komaeda's parents have passed away, so who raised him when he was a child? I'm also curious if Komaeda's hair is bed hair or naturally curly 🙏🏻

A: "I grew up alone. Luckily. I have curly hair."

/////

Q: Hello! I've always loved the Danganronpa 3 anime!! 🥲 (I'm waiting for new merchandise to come out♡) I have a question. After the main story of the anime, Munakata Kyosuke continues to fight the remnants of despair while carrying the memory of Yukizome and Sakakura, but did he end up finding happiness in the end? If you feel like it, please answer! 🙇‍♂️

A: He fights here and there, covered in wounds, and sometimes sleeps, reminiscing about the past... This lonely battle continues. The only time he can be happy is when he is able to forgive his own sins.

/////

Q: Please tell me what type of girl you like, Amami-kun!! (Sorry if this has already been said 💦)

A: Rich.

/////

Q: What kind of clothes does Fujisaki Chihiro like to wear (or usually wear)?

A: Unisex jeans.

NOTE: It's not exactly a question so I won't list it here, but a Chihiro fan responded with excitement, at which Kodaka replied "100 points for your reaction."

/////

Q: What is your favorite food, Momota-kun? What is your favorite drink? Or your favorite planet or your favorite galaxy. Anything is fine, I want to know. Please tell me about Momota-kun.

A: "I like big portions and colorful things. Things that have an American feel to them."

/////

Q: Excuse me for asking a question...! When he goes to a restaurant such as a family restaurant to celebrate a sports festival or cultural festival, does Keebo have to split the bill?

A: "I split the bill. I have fun using the serving robots."

NOTE: Probably referring to restaurants in Japan that have automated servers. Cold, Keebo.

/////

Q: What kind of dreams does Ouma-kun have when he catches a cold?

A: Infinitely multiplying Keebos.

/////

Q: I wonder what would happen if you forced food and drink into Keebo's mouth?

A: It comes out of the lower half of his body as warm as a microwave oven.

/////

Q: I like Kuwata Leon, and I want to know more about him. Are there any stories about him that haven't been revealed yet? I'd like to know if there are any...

A: "I'm always looking for band members. Lately, I've been thinking about getting into TikTok, so I'm recruiting cute girls."

/////

Q: Please tell us what type of girl you like, Komaeda-kun!

A: "I love girls who are full of hope, and I hate girls who are full of despair too much to love them."

/////

Q: Ouma was held captive by Gonta overnight in a pretty hopeless room with a ton of bugs flying around, so how did he manage to survive?

A: "I stopped thinking about it."

/////

Q: Please tell me what type of girl Owada Mondo likes!!

A: At the very least, he seems to dislike noisy ones.

/////

Q: I want to know what type of girl Ouma likes!

A: "Anyone who will listen to anything I say."

/////

Q: Does Fujisaki have a favorite food?

A: Mini katsudon.

NOTE: Katsudon is a pork cutlet bowl.

/////

Q: Hi Mr. Kodaka! What kind of music does Monokuma like? Is it different than what Junko would like?

A: Monokuma likes enka.

NOTE: Enka is a Japanese style of music often compared to the blues or jazz.

/////

Q: whats korekiyos favorite holiday?

A: To make friends with his sister.

/////

Q: What did Jin think of the Reserve Course? Did he see them as a cash cow, like the researchers at Hope's Peak, or as talentless underachievers?

A: Originally it was meant to be a safety net and a growth opportunity, but at some point it became mainly about collecting payments, which caused some conflict.

/////

Q: [You guys are going to think I'm making this up, but I believe the question had something to do with how Nagito would ask Hajime to hang out with him. It's since been deleted, but I think there are still screenshots, which I will find and half-assedly machine translate ASAP.]

A: "First, I have to do something about Nanami."

/////

Q: [Similar to the above, I'm pretty sure this question had to do with how Nagito would ask someone out romantically. Again, it's since been deleted, but I think there are still screenshots, which I will, again, find and half-assedly machine translate ASAP.]

A: "I'll go out with you if you do something about Nanami."

/////

Q: Excuse me for asking a question! In Ultra Despair Girls, Fujisaki Taichi had a photo of Fujisaki [Chihiro] in a sailor uniform, looking like they were in their rebellious phase (?)! It's so cute! I'd really like to know how the photo was taken and if there are any untold details about the Fujisaki family!

A: No matter what Fujisaki [Chihiro] is, their father can't help but take pictures because they are a cute kid, but Fujisaki [Chihiro] themself is embarrassed, and since those around them are becoming more and more rebellious, they are acting a little like a rebel, but later they will probably feel sorry for their father and be depressed.

/////

Q: I want to know what type Saihara-kun likes!!!

A: People with a strong sense of purpose, regardless of gender.

/////

Q: When Kodaka's account was hacked on April Fool's Day, Ouma referred to Gokuhara as a friend from his school days, but is there anyone else Ouma could call a friend other than Gokuhara?

A: "Once I talk to someone, we're friends. If I meet someone, we're friends. However, I don't mind putting my friends through bad situations."

/////

Q: What should I do to date Ouma-kun?

A: I think he would be amused and come up to you if you first implanted a brain into an animal, or mounted in a car, or a full-body prosthesis.

🥬 APRIL 2024:

Q: Sorry if this question has already been asked. Ouma-kun reminds me of someone who can fall in love with anyone who is fun to be with. Does Ouma-kun care about gender, or can he fall in love with anyone he finds interesting regardless of gender? Does he only fall in love with interesting people ・・・? ��‍♀️ Thank you, Mr. Kodaka.

A: It has nothing to do with gender or romantic feelings, it's just about whether it's fun or not.

/////

Q: What kind of girls does Gonta Gokuhara like?

A: A girl who likes bugs.

/////

Q: I have a little question, what kind of sweets Kazuichi likes besides sweet drinks? Gummies, marshmellows, chocolate or maybe something else? :3

A: I think he likes colorful candy.

/////

Q: Even though you have a serious personality, Amami-kun, you look like you're frivolous to everyone around you, so is there a reason why you wear so many accessories? Or do you simply like fashion?

A: "I just like fashion. I dress the way I like when I can, especially since I'm in an environment where I can't dress fashionably."

/////

Q: What does Ouma Kokichi think about being short?

A: "I'm lucky that it doesn't feel intimidating."

/////

Q: Were the execution machines in Danganronpa 1 made by Soda from Danganronpa 2?

A: You've got a good point, don't you?

/////

Q: Excuse me for asking a question! Was Dr. Idabashi, who created the Ultimate Robot Keebo, also a student at Hope's Peak Academy?

A: I'll take that story!

/////

Q: who would you choose to solve a mystery and why? kirigiri, saihara or halara?

A: It would be great if the three of them performed together!

🌺 MAY 2024:

Q: What is Komaeda Nagito usually thinking about?

A: "Is there hope lost somewhere?"

/////

Q: What did Kamukura-kun think of Hinata-kun?

A: The most boring.

/////

Q: Which Danganronpa character do you think would like shark movies?

A: Soda.

/////

Q: Excuse me for asking a question! Is the story about the school festival in the Danganronpa original drama CD written by Kodaka-san? There is a scene in the drama where Fujisaki wants to wear a cute apron, which was quite unexpected for Fujisaki in the main story, so it was a shock. Was there a possibility that Fujisaki would embrace cute things in the main story as well?

A: I think I only wrote the very first one. The one that has a white and black disc. If I remember correctly.

/////

Q: I’m curious, What kind of person does Kokichi like?

A: rich person

/////

Q: Excuse me for asking a question! I think that in the articles(?) released during the development stage there were many scenes that were not in the main story. Were these scenes faked to hide the contents of the main story, or were they actually there during production? I'm curious if there were any scenes where Fujisaki-kun was suspected in court!

[This person included this image:]

A: This is an image made up for a proposal. It was made before the story even existed.

☀️ JUNE 2024:

Q: How many characters in Danganronpa will listen to Komaeda's long speeches until the end?

A: None.

/////

Q: I'd like to know something about Komaeda Nagito's childhood, even if it's something trivial!!

A: "I wore diapers."

/////

Q: I'm curious how Komaeda-kun would express his feelings if he fell in love with someone.

A: He'd put you in a very unhappy situation in order to make you feel the hope of happiness.

/////

Q: Hello, Kodaka! It's an honor to ask you a question... so how can we interpret Nagito's ambiguous relations with certain characters in the series? Just saying.

A: Please interpret it as you wish.

/////

Q: Were Shinguji-kun's parents aware of his relationship with his sister? If so, what did they think about it?

A: I'll keep my mouth shut because if I mention it, I'll get in a horrible lot of trouble.

NOTE: Kodaka's talking as himself here, pretending like if he says anything he'll get hurt in some way. Don't take this as solid fact, but I think the implication here is less an IRL one (Spikechun would be mad) and more an in-universe one (Kork and Korkette would do something to you). But, again: that is me and my manager's theory.

/////

Q: Would Togami also use polite language when speaking to someone higher up in the organization?

A: He does not use honorifics. Byakuya is Byakuya.

/////

Q: Why did Kamukura's hair grow so long and his eyes change color?

A: Abnormal development.

/////

Q: Who is the most possible female character that would or might have a romantic relationship with Komaeda during Danganronpa 2? (Only characters in Danganronpa 2)

A: female character?

NOTE: The infamous post. It's reaaaaaaal.

/////

Q: Excuse me for asking! Keebo is a school uniform wearing robot, but what about summer uniforms? Are there times when he no longer wears a school uniform?

A: [His summer uniform is a] cooling fan installed on the side.

/////

Q: If Hinata-kun were to be punished, what do you think it would be like? I think he would die a boring death quickly.

A: Incidentally, I once came up with the idea of punishing him by freezing both his hands and feet with liquid nitrogen, and then shocking him to death as he watching them get crushed by a hammer… but of course I rejected the idea.

/////

Q: Togami-kun may be the most handsome among 1, 2, and V3, but who are the other students who can be called handsome? I think Ishimaru-kun might actually fall into the handsome guy category!

A: Keebo in terms of being well-groomed and having no skin problems.

/////

Q: Since Nagito Komaeda often says that despair is a stepping stone to hope, I don't have an image of Nagito Komaeda being troubled. However, I would like to hear what kind of worries he has if any!

A: If she were to become an adult, it would be Peko. The one who surpasses her is Tsumiki.

NOTE: As in, he'd worry about Peko or Mikan. Now, whether Kodaka means Geeto would worry about them as people or over the fact that they'll kick his ass, that's less clear. But they're on his mind.

🎇 JULY 2024:

Q: A question from a Teruteru fan (keeping with the topic of it being hot outside): Who do you think is the character with the most romantic potential for Hanamura?

A: Hanamura.

/////

Q: Hello sensei, I have a question. I'm seeing a controversy going on right now with overseas fans being attacked by people who are associating Komaeda with female characters using this post. Is Komaeda really gay? Or is this just a joke post? It's said to be official information, but is it true?

A: It's so hopeless. The more hopeless it is, the brighter hope shines.

NOTE: This was about the infamous Female Character? post.

/////

Q: How do you view women and men, Komaeda? Does he have different opinions about them or is he simply indifferent to both genders?

A: Ask Komaeda himself.

NOTE: I probably won't be archiving many more of the Komaeda sexuality posts unless they're particularly funny or insightful, because a lot of them are repetitive. Sorry. Kodaka's not budging, y'all.

/////

Q: Can Komaeda drive?

A: With his luck.

/////

Q: If there was a cut-in where Togami would rebuttal, what do you think he would say?

A: "Bow down, you fools!"

/////

Q: If Nagito were to play videogames, which game and/or genre is his favorite?

A: Gorilla Tag

NOTE: Like the Steam VR game...? Maybe? Unless this is referring to something I can't parse out. Kind of hilarious to imagine Nagito as a return to monke guy, though.

/////

Q: What's Momota's favorite planet?

A: The first one he'll discover.

/////

Q: Since Matsuda Yasuke worked on the Kamukura project, did he perform the operation?

A: More or less, you know what I mean?

NOTE: Disclaimer on this one, as we're not 100% sure what he's trying to say or if he's just being silly as usual. We think he's casually implying that Matsuda outlined the experiment but didn't actually perform it, so he kind of did "do" the operation in a symbolic/spiritual sense. Especially since we believe it's canon Matsuda did not wield the scalpel so to speak? If we recall correctly? Regardless, if anyone can shed light on this, we'd be appreciative. Completely unrelated: his use of "わかるっしょ" wakarussho made my manager laugh, as she says that's something no middle aged man would say. It's more of a teenaged girl/gyaru kind of thing, but Kodaka often talks like this apparently. Channeling Junko...

/////

Q: If Saihara-kun were to be executed, what do you imagine it would be?

A: He wakes up in a hospital after the ending of Danganronpa V3 and it was all just a dream with him in a vegetative state.

/////

Q: What would it be like if Ouma-kun was punished?

A: It's live action. And the actors are amateurs who just monotone "It's a lie!"

[a34trgv2]

Why It Worked: Inside Out

Introduction: Inside Out is an animated coming-of-age film produced by Pixar Animation Studios and distributed by Walt Disney Pictures. Directed and co-written by Pete Docter, with the screenplay being co written by Meg LaFauve and Josh Cooley, the film stars Amy Poehler, Phyliss Smith, Lewis Black, Mindy Kaling, Bill Hader, Kaitlyn Dias, Diane Lane, Kyle MacLachlan and Richard Kind as Joy, Sadness, Anger, Disgust, Fear, Riley, her parents Bill and Jill, and Bing Bong respectively. Released on June 19, 2015, the film was a major box office success grossing $858.8 million on a budget of $175 million. It also received critical acclaim from critics and audiences alike. According to Rotten Tomatoes, out of the 384 reviews aggregated, 98% gave a positive review with an average rating of 8.9/10. It also received numerous awards, including an Oscar for Best Animated Feature, several Outstanding Achievement Awards at the Annies, a Golden Globe for Best Animated Feature, and a Critic's Choice Movie Award for Best Animated Feature. It is often seen as a culturally significant film for mental health and the importance of expressing one's emotions. I saw this film for my birthday back in 2015 and I loved it right out of the gate. After multiple rewatches over the years, I stand by my personal opinion that this is a masterpiece of animation and visual storytelling. I'm overjoyed to talk about this film now that it finally has a sequel out.

The Plot: This film has 2 stories that are interconnected to one another, taking place in the mind of an 11 year old girl. On the outside, it's a bout a kid moving to a new city and being overwhelmed by the sudden changes happening all at once. On the inside, it's about Joy and Sadness trekking through Riley's mind, while along the way understanding each other's importance. Together, they create a very unique and engaging plot about growing up and learning to express yourself. The film brilliantly cuts between Riley, Joy and Sadness' journey, and what's happening at HQ to organically show what Riley's feeling and how her actions have psychological consequences. In addition to having powerful gut punching drama, it's also a very funny film with plenty of slapstick, goofy gags, and impressive word play that always gets me to belly laugh. Michael Giacchino also provides an enchanting, dreamlike score with great use of the piano and brass sections. The true highlight of the story is, of course, Pixar's masterfully crafted and innovative animation. The film makes Riley's mind so vibrant and expansive with Dream Productions and Imagination Land being major highlights. The outside world also looks very well done with the people looking very appealing, San Francisco looking grimy yet lived in, and Riley's old home in Minnesota looking very welcoming and colorful. Speaking of color, the use of colors in this film is nothing short of excellent from the radiant colors of Riley's memories, to Riley's clothes reflecting her current state of mind throughout the film. I also love how they use black and gray to represent faded memories and lack of emotion. If there's one word to describe Inside Out's story and animation, it's colorful.

Cast and Characters: This is an outstanding cast they brought on board for this film. Shout outs to the film's casting directors Natalie Lyon and Kevin Reher for picking out some excellent actors. Amy Poehler was phenomenal as Joy, perfectly capturing her bubbly and eccentric personality while also naturally showing her vulnerability and frustrations. Phyliss Smith sound perfectly dower and soft spoken as Sadness, yet at the same time making her sound so innocent and relatable. Lewis Black was the best match for Anger, making him sound crusty, cynical, and having a short fuse. Mindy Kaling brought in the right amount of sass and pettiness as Disgust and her comradery with the other emotions was brilliant. Bill Hader did a great job making Fear funny and relatable as a character. Kaitlyn Dias also deserve major props for her vocal performance as Riley, making her sound like a soft spoken but fun kid who goes through a great character arc in the film. Lastly, Richard Kind was the absolute surprise standout of the cast as Bing Bong as not only did he do a great job making him funny, but also made him relatable, selfless, a bit of an airhead, but also really resourceful. The cast did such a great job bringing these characters to life, with all of them being iconic and memorable in their own way.

Where It Falters: Outside of maybe adding another scene or 2 with Riley's life in Minnesota, I wouldn't change a thing with this film. It's one of those films where the only nitpick I have is I wanted more. Fortunately, that's remedied with the existence of the 2024 sequel. Coming out a couple years sooner wouldn't have been so bad either, but like I always say, quality>quantity.

Conclusion: There are a select few movies I consider to be a masterpiece. Inside Out is most certainly one of those movies. With outstanding writing, iconic characters, wonderful voice acting, masterfully crafted animation, and an enchanting score, it has more than earned its cultural significance. I cannot recommend this film enough, especially for those who struggle with expressing themselves such as yours truly. I promise this film will speak to you as it has for me after all these years. Thanks so much for reading and I'll see you soon ;)

[notfreetoday]

My Personal Weatherman Ep 1 Subtitle Corrections

So I've been analysing the way MPW uses language to showcase the dynamic between Segasaki and Yoh - something that I suspect is not quite coming through with the English subs - and decided to watch Ep 1-3 again, with Eng subs this time. I am now going to complain about some of the subtitle and translation choices and edit them way too literally because I'm nerdy like that.

Disclaimer: Everyone translates differently for different audiences. This is not meant to disrespect the official translation team in any way because they are subbing for a more general audience and have different pressures, so don't come at me or them for our different priorities. I'm talking to the particular group of viewers who like this show and/or like Japanese and want to go a step further in interacting with the characters. That said, I'm happy to discuss MY translation choices so please feel free to drop in about any line.

Under cut because this GOT REALLY LONG.

I'm translating directly from the Jp, so sometimes my subs differ only slightly - I will lean towards a more literal translation here because that will allow me to explain my language analysis better in a follow up post so some phrasing may be awkward. Big changes/missing info have been italicised and bolded. Explanations of nuances/connotations have been added where I feel they add to the understanding of the character/scene, and the relevant phrase is marked with * in my translation and the Jp.

Ep 1

[S: だから、漫画つずけりゃいいじゃんって　衣食住の金は保証してやるから　おれんとこに来い。んで、その代わり　*俺の言うこと全部聞け]

Original: I said, just keep drawing manga. I’ll take care of your food and lodging *expenses, so come to my place. And in return, you’ll do everything I say.

Mine: I said, *it's fine (for you) to continue (being a) manga (artist). I'll take care of the expenses for your *food, clothing and lodging so, come (live) at my place. And, in exchange for that, (you must) *listen to everything I say.

*This whole paragraph is extremely blunt and direct. Every sentence is worded as an order, and this last line especially - the word "listen" is used here to mean "obey" - so this line really translates to, "in exchange for that, (I want you) to obey my every word". The reason it's not been translated this way is that it sounds so strong it borders on corny in English. In Jp though, the connotation of "obey" comes across not in the words but in the extremely strong/direct delivery of the line (contrasted with the extremely nonchalent tone), so it sounds more shocking/overbearing than it does corny. The original translation here works very well actually.

Technically Segasaki introduces himself here as 気象解説員 (weather forecaster) as opposed to 気象予報士 (meteorologist), but in the show's character bios, and when Man-san talks about him later, he's called a meteorologist anyway, so this difference is of absolutely no importance (I'm just anal like that). FYI, in Japan, all qualified meteorologists (who must pass a national exam) can be forecasters, but not all forecasters have this qualification.

[Y: 明日も雨…か*] Original: More rain tomorrow Mine: There'll be rain again tomorrow, huh? *Said with a falling tone, the "huh" here hints that Yoh is likely a little down/disappointed about the rain continuing, and lays the ground for his reaction later about the rainy season.

[M: 人を沼に召喚しといて　何なの？その態度 S: いや　むしろ　万さんがかなり能動的に突っ込んできた印象しかないんだけど M: ごちゃごちゃうるさい　ややこしいオタクめ S: ごめん　ややこしくて]

Original: M: Why summon someone into your otaku pit and act like that? Y: No, it’s more like you actively intrude into my life M: You’re being noisy and complicated, you complicated otaku Y: Sorry for being complicated…

Mine: M: (You’re the one who) dragged me into this fandom, (so) what’s with that attitude? Y: No, on the contrary, I have the distinct impression that it was you, Man-san, who pretty much jumped right in of your own volition M: (You’re) babbling nonsense (you) troublesome otaku Y: Sorry for being troublesome

[S: めし　なに？ Y: あ、しょーしょうがやき]

Original: S: What do you want for dinner? Y: Stir-fried ginger

Mine: S: What's for dinner? Y: Sho-shogayaki

Shogayaki is a style of cooking meat, usually pork, where you stir fry the meat with ginger. Unless the type of meat is specified, it refers to Pork Stir Fried with Ginger, or Ginger Pork Stir Fry. Very common home cooked dish.

[S: あ、そ] (A, so?) S: Oh, is that so?

"I see" is a totally ok translation too. "A, so" can mean "Oh I see" or "Oh is that right" or "Oh is that so" etcetc but it has the air of a really bored "Oh, really?/Sure/If you say so" This is why Yoh's reaction after this is "if you aren't interested then don't ask!". This is the first of many times that Segasaki will use this phrase, as we will see in the following episodes, so I'm highlighting it here for now.

No translation issues here - but I just want to point out that it's reeaaally difficult to make tasteless shogayaki hahaha If you've had ginger stir fried in anything you'll know - it's not a meek herb at all. Canonically, Yoh is apparently a really bad cook. This will be pointed out again later, when he makes curry, because again, it's gotta be some kind of talent to make bland japanese curry; it's r*eeeeaally *easy. Anyway, the sauce that Segasaki asks for here is Soy Sauce, which is different from the sauce that he asks for later! Seems like a few people think they're the same thing (also pay attention to the sauce rack position here - Yoh'll will move it closer to himself by their next dinner hahaha)

[Y: ちかいんだよ、いちいち*] Y: He (leans in) so close, every (damn) time*!

*Not sure if this comes across, but the word for "every time" here is usually associated with slight annoyance, but the way "close" is said here implies Yoh's a little bashful about it.

[Y: 雨、多いな*] (ame, ooi *na...) Y: Rain...so much of it*

*This has the same feel as the "there'll be rain again tomorrow...huh" that we first saw earlier this episode. The ending particle "~na" bakes in a sigh and a sense of disappointment here (if you didn't notice the utter depression on Yoh's face lol)

[S: めし、まだ？] S: Food's not ready yet?

See, you don't notice it with the Eng translations because even the most basic Eng grammar will form a complete sentence. In Jp though, Segasaki is once again taking "man of a few words" to the extreme. He has taken out every single part of the sentence he possibly can whilst still keeping it grammatically complete. So this line is literally just "Food, not yet?". He's done this throughout the episode btw - it's why he comes across as so cold/distant.

[Y: やっぱ　わかんねえよな] Mine: As I thought, he doesn't understand...

[Y: 結局　従ってしまう自分の従順さが憎い*] Original: I hate my obedience, always giving in Mine: In the end, the obedient part of me that always ends up following his orders - I hate* it

*the word used for "hate" here is "nikui" which is different from the word Yoh uses when he says he "hates (dai kirai)" Segasaki. "dai kirai" is simply the opposite of "dai suki" - to really like, so is more accurately "really dislike" than it is "hate" (even though it is frequently translated as such). "Nikui", which is much stronger word, bringing to mind the idea of a "strong rejection of/detest/disgust for" something.

If you didn't already know, the word "embrace" aka "抱く" here is a euphemism for "to sleep with (somebody).

Shoyu = Soy Sauce. Sauce = worcestershire sauce, unless you're in a tonkatsu shop. Then sauce = tonkatsu sauce (which is a slightly different variation). Don't look at me, I don't make the rules.

(This is very long but I'm going to write the whole monologue here)

[Y: 晴れ予報の度に抱かれて 晴れ　なんて単語は　暗いなかで湿っぽく行われる　それとは　ちぐはぐなイメージなのに。。。 まるでやらしい言葉みたいに　頭に刷り込まれていって わかってんのか？　あんたの口から　予報をきいて　どんな気持ちになるか わかんないんだろうな　一生考えもしないだろうな だってあんたは　恋人でもない俺に　平気でこんなことができる]

Original: Every time there’s a sunny forecast, he does it with me The word sunny feels out of place for such activity in a dark and damp room It’s as if it’s such a lewd word being forced into my mind Do you understand, how I feel when I hear that word from your mouth? You probably won’t understand or even think about it for your entire life You have no problem sleeping with someone you’re not even going out with

Mine: (He) embraces (me) every time the forecast is sunny A word like “sunny” … (brings up) a completely different image from that damp, humid activity taking place in the dark And yet (to me) it seems like a lewd, obscene word, searing (the image of) itself into my brain Do you understand? How exactly I feel when I hear the forecast from your mouth? You probably don't understand, do you? Probably won't ever think about it your entire life, right? Because you're able to do this with me, (someone)who isn't even your lover, without any issues at all

This line was ad-libbed btw, if you didn't already know (link leads to Kouhei's 16th Aug IG livestream, and his explanation starts around 07:20 mark) They've talked about this a few times on both their IG lives, and Kouhei seems to get prouder about it each time hahaha. In the linked IG, Kouhei said:

(reading a fan comment) "More" was an ad-lib?? I'm gonna die

Kouhei: Yea it was…ah that was…um, Mashiko-kun… Acchan (his nickname for Atsuki) gave me a really good expression so…somehow, (by the time) I realised (what I had done), yes, (by the time) I realised it,I had said it. Well probably saying "by the time I realised it" is weird but… yes. By the time I realised it... "even more"…(I'd wanted him) to open his mouth more so. Yes. That's all.

[S: そこそこ高給取りになる予定*だから] Original: I'm planning to *become a high earner Mine: It's likely* that I'm gonna be drawing a pretty decent salary so...

*The exact wording here is actually "(it has been) planned that (I will) become (someone) drawing a pretty decent salary so" - the way this is phrased indicates that this conversation probably happened in Segasaki's last year of university, probably right before he graduated when he already had a job lined up for himself. In Japan, your final year of university is spent interning at companies and if they like you, you'll stay on as a salaried worker, so most graduates will have something lined up before they officially leave university.

[Y: 流されるな] Y: Don't get swept away (by this) This phrase is usually used to warn people not to let themselves be swept away/caught up by the latest trends/public perception/societal expectations/their own emotions/panic etc Here, together with his insistence that he's just Segasaki's slave and so obeying him is a natural consequence, and so is sleeping with him (as opposed to Yoh doing it because he likes/wants to) - Yoh is basically telling himself "don't get swept away" by the situation/his feelings because their relationship doesn't mean anything.

[Y: じゃあ、しばらく…ないのか。*slaps face* しばらくしなくていいんだ！]

Original: So, it won't be happening, for a while huh? *slaps face* I'm fine without it for a while, right?

Mine: So then... there won't be... for a while, huh... *slaps face* (It should be) "I don't have to do it for a while!"

Again, you can see, Yoh's literally spent this entire episode trying to convince himself that he's not actually in love with Segasaki, and everything he does for Segasaki, be it listening to him, or sleeping with him etc, he does simply because he is fulfilling his end of the bargain as "a slave".

OMFG I FINISHED THAT WAS TOO DAMN LONG.

I will finish Ep 2 & 3 before I do the language analysis post. But first... I need a break....

[esggs]

Obeisance to the Arrow - Noritoshi Kamo

#6 - Husbandly Duties

[noritoshi kamo wrangles with his family to get you into jujutsu tech school + gojo satoru keeps his word]

[tw : 1000+ words, noritoshi kamo x reader, child marriage, arranged marriage, misogyny, girlie gets access to schooling, malala would like this chapter]

#5 - Man and Wife #7 - Jealousy, Jealousy

Gojo Satoru stood on the doorstep of the Kamo Clan the next morning. “Am I too early? I stopped to pick up a present for the newlyweds!”

Within the next ten minutes, Noritoshi had been woken up, urgently dressed and washed, and sat in front of Gojo Satoru, with all the elders of the family in tow. Satoru’s sudden arrival had soured the mood of the whole family; everyone expected some upsetting news or the other. Satoru himself seemed to take no notice of this. “Is your wife bothering you already, Noritoshi-kun?” He beamed at the half-awake half-worried young heir. “She’s so bossy! As her benefactor, I can tell that she’s a handful!”. 

Benefactor, huh? Noritoshi was impressed, quite frankly. Somehow or the other, you had won the support of Gojo Satoru himself, and that too secretly. Since the conversation was turning to his wife, he had no choice but to speak. I’m in no mood for your nonsense. Spit it out, Gojo.

“My wife has been sweet, Gojo-sensei. How have you been?” He answered. “Would you like some tea?” Satoru understood what he meant-- “How important is this conversation?” 

“I believe we should all have some.” (“Important and involving the whole family. Sorry”)

Gojo had come here to vouch for your admission into Jujutsu High Tech School. Apparently, it was the wedding gift from the Gojo Clan to the newly bridged Zenin-Kamo one: Satoru himself would overlook the education of the young couple. On the surface, it seemed a rare opportunity to learn from the strongest sorcerer himself. But every Kamo family member sitting in the room understood the threat behind his words: The young bride is now under my protection. I’ll keep an eye out for her. Don’t cross me. 

The Kamos erupted with anger, all polite social manners thrown to the winds. Noritoshi’s father threw a tea-cup at Satoru (blocked by his Infinity) and an uncle called him a “flyhead meddling in an ox’s dung”. 

Satoru watched as Noritoshi sighed and started to calm people down. He requested the women to not trouble themselves with inelegant family matters anymore, and they silently left the room. Then he ordered the servants to clean up the spilled tea, get some fresh oolong out, and light some incense. Finally, he waited till his male relatives cooled off by themselves (took a few minutes) before finally speaking up: “My apologies, Father, Grandfather. But I would feel rather insulted as a man, albeit a young one, if matters of my wife were to be discussed with other men. Do I have your permission to speak to Gojo-sensei alone about this?”

“No, no– you’re too soft on–” 

“Let him, son.” Noritoshi’s grandfather placed a hand on his father’s shoulder. “He’s a man now. He knows how to think. Show our Satoru-kun the gardens, Noritoshi.”

Amazing. Gojo really appreciated the boy now. He handles people so easily. Noritoshi bowed low to them and gracefully guided Satoru to walk with him in the gardens. Like you did, some months ago.

“My apologies, Gojo-sensei.”

“No, no, the tea was good though.”

“Ah, it’s from our own gardens. So about Zenin-san…”

“She wants to join Jujutsu High." Satoru replied. “You’ve no problems with it, I suppose.”

“Hmm” Noritoshi took a minute to fully consider it. It's fine, right? I don't see how this could hurt anyone. As long as she behaves herself, it should be fine. “None, I think. Besides, her cousin Mai studies with me too.”

Noritoshi had wanted to look Gojo fully in the eye and ask, why? What does she have over you that you are helping her so much? What secrets do you keep amongst you two? Why does she trust you so well?

Of course, Noritoshi didn’t say a word. He just nodded and signed the stack of paperwork for your school admission. He had full rights to do so. He was your guardian, after all. His hand stayed a bit before signing a paper declaring that ‘The liability of said sorcerer's death falls upon the undersigned.’ But he signed it anyway. 

His family was screamed at him later on for allowing you to leave for school. He saw you snickering at him from behind the curtains, watching him get yelled at for your sake. He scoffed. What a fucking pain in the ass kid. 

—--

“You know, you could have just told me.” Noritoshi and you are back in your bedroom again. You look up from the Jackie Chan movie playing on the TV as you laze on the sofa. 

Damn. Noritoshi is just getting out of the shower, towelling his hair dry roughly, clad only in his soft blue bathrobe. You can see drops of water dripping down his face to his broad chest. You quickly look away. Damn, Kamo. “Aghh, cover up, idiot! What the heck are you doing?” You grit out. “Shameless ass!”

He grumbles at that. “At least say thank you”. Ungrateful little bastard. You manage to piss him off like no one ever can. Except Todo, maybe. “If you had only told me about Gojo-sensei beforehand, everything would have gone by a lot smoother.”

You choose to pretend that you can’t hear anything, instead turning up the volume of the TV. You know exactly how to get under his skin. Actually, you weren’t too sure that Noritoshi would agree to your schooling as quickly as he did; you don’t actually know Noritoshi, do you? You did have a few cards up your sleeve to get him to acquiesce to your wishes (you had those cards on everybody, actually. It’s good armour for someone as defenceless as you.)

Noritoshi chooses to answer your silence with his own silence. You two were leaving for school less than a week now, even though you were going to the Tokyo school (Satoru Gojo’s personal request). Less than a week and he’d be rid of his annoying immature wife. 

He huffed at the thought, pulling a yukata onto him. You make it a distinct point NOT to look at him when he’s changing, no matter how red your face gets at the thought. One week and I’m out of here. He casts a look back at you. Oh, you’re blushing? How cute of you. His heart softened a little. Her, a sorcerer? Gods look after her. 

#7 - Jealousy, Jealousy

art from the amazing @null-cult, go check out their stuff, it's so cool. thanks for letting me use it!!

[bengiyo]

Unknown Ep 8 Stray Thoughts

Last time, Wei Qian sent Yuan away to study in NYC for years after the reveal about Yuan’s feelings. Wei Qian was unable to face Yuan or his feelings, and has been avoiding him for four to five years, even as he’s meticulously kept Yuan’s room clean. It’s clear he misses him, and literally leaves Yuan’s lamp on like he’s burning a candle for him. Wei Qian may not know how to sort the complex feelings in play here, but it’s clear that his brother is important to him, and he’s not doing well without him around. Yuan, for his part, continues to message Wei Qian, completed his schooling, and seemed to maintain his connections with the rest of their family. Meanwhile, Xiao Bao has grown into her role as a model and is now the subject of paparazzi speculation. Also, it seems like San Pang may have feelings for her. We left at Xiao Yuan returning and Wei Qian smiling to himself in relief to hear his siblings bickering in the house again.

“Seen enough?” He came back confident. It’s over.

Episode 8: The distance between us and love

Okay, big fan of Yuan not doting on Wei Qian at the table, and Wei Qian being awkward about it.

I really like San Pang as a character. He has no idea how to navigate the awkwardness he stirred up, and seems even more worried when Yuan thanks him for putting him through this separation.

Not a hickey on San Pang! That better now be from Xiao Bao!

They are from Xiao Bao! And after everything you put Yuan through!

That smile before removing his glasses and grabbing a cleaver was great. Yuan grabbing food and leaning back on the couch to watch in the background seals the moment.

Resorting to fire is a very worrisome sign.

“Good night, Wei Qian,” after pointed commentary about accepting changes as people grow and mature. I see you, sir.

Pairing San Pang and Wei Li Li is a useful way of continuing the exploration about the changes in a formerly caregiver role in a relationship. San Pang is also like an uncle or close cousin figure in this dynamic.

Yuan became a menace while he was in the US. I must know what gays adopted him.

Damn, did y’all not teach Xiao Bao how to cook?

I am not surprised that Xiao Bao was the one who originally let Yuan into the house.

Fishing Trip 2: Electric Boogaloo

Not Yuan telling that man, “Closed mouths won’t get fed.”

Damn, they used the separation well. Going back to the fishing trip is a good way to illustrate how different Yuan is now.

WTF why is the gangster dude back next week?

This show is incredibly impressive. It is so assured about every choice it makes. I am particularly resistant to these themes, and even I am taken with the execution here. It’s not skipping the important things we need to tear into if we’re going to discuss a taboo romance.

[seungminnie-meong]

roommate ateez reacting to you dealing with mental illness

Your roommate Ateez finding out/reacting to you having a mental illness. GN reader for all, Feminine clothing in Wooyoungs, makeup in sans.  CW for mental illness including depression, bipolar/mania, self-harm (if you're sensitive skip San and Mingi) , and eating disorders/body dysmorphia (if you're sensitive skip Wooyoung and Jongho)

Hongjoong was never one to pry. He usually minded his own business, and you minded yours. That was how the two of you worked so well as roommates. But one day, he couldn’t shake the notion that something was wrong. It was nearly 7 pm and he hadn’t seen you the entire day. He decided to go out and pick up some ingredients to make dinner for the both of you, as he hadn’t seen you eat at all so far today. When he came back, you were still holed up in your room, so he decided against his non-prying nature, and gently knocked on your door. He heard some quiet shuffling, and after a few moments, a tired looking you opened the door. He smiled, glad to know you were okay.

“I bought us some stuff to make dinner, I know you haven’t eaten all day. Do you want to help me?” He offered gently, and you nodded. You were slightly embarrassed to still be in your pajamas at 7 at night, but Hongjoong understood. He never asked any questions, he just quietly sat beside you and made sure you always knew you didn’t have to be alone through this. He knew you didn’t always feel like talking about it, and that was okay. The two of you stood quietly in the kitchen while you chopped vegetables and Joongie cooked up some meat. He stopped to play some music over the speaker he kept in the kitchen. As Billie Jean played through the speaker he began to sway and dance to the beat and you just giggled at him. He grabbed both of your hands to get you to dance along and you just laughed. He may have been a professional dancer but the way he was dancing now was definitely intended only to make you laugh. You began to dance along with him as best as you could, abandoning your chopped vegetables. Hongjoong started jumping around, singing into his wooden spoon as a mic, putting on a complete kitchen concert. Before you know it, you forget what you were even sad about to begin with. 

Seonghwa was caring by nature, and he was the first to notice when you started to have a depression spell. He knew he couldn’t stop the depression from coming on, but he could help you by making sure you were well taken care of. The first day he noticed you sleeping in until noon, he was doing your laundry for you and reminding you to brush your teeth. The day he noticed you hadn’t bothered with eating any real food, he was filling up your water bottle and placing it on your nightstand and cooking ramyeon for the two of you for dinner. But, the day he heard you sniffling and crying behind the closed door of your room, he was at a loss. He felt helpless. He knew how to take care of your needs, but when it came to helping you with the actual depression, he was stuck. He sat in the living room, conflicted. He had never dealt with depression before. He had his bouts with anxiety occasionally, but this was a different kind of beast. He thought back on what helped him when he felt sad. He walked back to his room and pulled all the blankets and stuffies off of his bed and marched back to your door, knocking twice before pushing the door open. “Hwa? What are you doing?” you said through teary eyes. “We're gonna build a fort.” “Why?” You choked out a sob, and Seonghwa fought the urge to not cry himself. He was a pretty emotional guy, and you were important to him. Seeing you cry made him sad. To distract himself, he got busy pulling blankets over your furniture, slowly making the fort come together. After a minute, you stopped sniffling, getting up from your bed to help him. It was so absurd that you really had no other choice but to help him, I mean he was in your room after all. As the two of you worked together to put your pillows and plushies in the final places and admire your work, Seonghwa pulled you into the fort and into his chest to hold you tightly. “I know I don’t always know how to help you feel better or what to say, but I want you to know I’m always here for you no matter what, okay?”

Yunho was an early riser. He liked waking up early to get a run in before he started his day. So imagine his surprise when he woke up to find you still awake from the day before. He leaned against your doorframe in his workout clothes, looking at you confused. “What are you still doing up? It’s seven in the morning.” You just put your phone down and shrugged, a yawn escaping your lips. You knew exactly what it was, but you couldn’t bring yourself to tell Yunho. The pharmacy hadn’t been able to fill your meds yet this week and you could feel a hypomanic episode coming on. Yunho was somewhat aware that you had bipolar type II because he knew you took medication every day, but he didn’t really understand what it was like if you were off your medication. Your thoughts had been racing since early that day, and you’d been going nonstop since you got home from work, cleaning your whole bedroom from top to bottom. Yunho looked at you quizzically, not convinced. “I just can’t sleep,” It wasn’t entirely a lie, but not entirely the truth either. He looked worried for you. Ever since you moved in together, Yunho was like a big brother to you, he was always concerned about your mental health and making sure you were taking care of yourself. “Alright, if you’re not gonna sleep, at least keep me company on this run.” He grabbed your hand and pulled you up out of your warm comfy bed with many a complaint from you. But you couldn’t deny that the idea of a run sounded nice to get some of your energy out. You pushed him out and shut the door behind him so you could pull on some shorts and a hoodie with some sneakers, and he met you at the door with two full water bottles. The two of you kept an easy jogging pace and got to watch the sun come over the horizon, which was really beautiful. By the time you got back, you could finally feel tiredness seeping into the back of your mind. When you woke up from your couple hour nap on you and yunho’s shared couch, he was freshly showered with wet hair in a hoodie and sweats playing on his playstation. You sat behind him and leaned on his back; cheek squished against his shoulder. “Feeling well rested?” you felt the reverberations of his chuckle through his back. “A little bit.” you yawned. “Thanks for making me go running with you, I couldn’t sleep because the stupid pharmacy hasn’t been able to refill my meds this week and I've been feeling so manic.” You explained. He reached around and placed a hand on your knee. “You could’ve just told me, you know I’m always here to help you. I know I don’t always know what to do but I’m always here for you bubs.” 

Yeosang is insanely empathetic, so there’s no hiding from him. The moment the two of you moved in together you realized he was always going to notice every little moodswing. It took some time before he became good at dealing with them, because at first he was far too shy to approach you about it, so he just sat idly by and worried about you whenever you got sad. After some time, he got braver, sometimes knocking gently on your door with a warm cup of tea and your favorite chocolate. After a while, you guys finally became friends, and Yeosang decided he wasn’t going to let you just suffer in silence, so he would invite you out with your other mutual friends and try to get you out of the house, even against his own introverted nature, just to get you to have some fun. But sometimes, there were really hard days, where you could hardly drag yourself out of bed. Even still Yeosang was right there beside you with a cold glass of water and some funny videos on his laptop to watch with you until he could get you out of bed. He knew everything was a matter of baby steps on your depressive days. And on manic days, like today, he was always there to listen to every racing thought, there to help pull you back to reality when you got too excited, and remind you to eat, shower, and take your meds. Yeosang even put a big calendar on the fridge with all of your therapy dates and medication refill times so you wouldn’t forget. He was your rock. Today, he was away at work, so you were trying your best to stay stable while you were alone. You were so ecstatic when you finally heard the front door open, you ran down the front hallway, sliding on the hardwood floor in your socks into Yeosang’s arms, giggling all the while. He gave you a big hug, patting your hair. You were so grateful for him.

You and your roommate San had made a little trip to Ikea to get a new vanity for your bedroom, and he had agreed that he would help you put it together. You had been slowly redecorating your room for the past few months now, and you were quite happy with the way it was coming along. The new vanity was just one final piece that you needed, along with a new bed frame and a couple of posters you had already ordered. You and San were dumping out the contents of your old vanity one drawer at a time, making piles of what you did and didn’t need to keep, as you hadn’t cleaned it out in as long as you should’ve. It had been probably 6 months or longer since you had cleaned out the vanity, and some of the makeup in it had probably expired by now, so San was checking the expiration dates on each product and making piles of what was still good and what was bad. You were going through other junk drawers including perfumes and skincare and doing the same. Suddenly you heard a gasp from San. You looked up to find a small bag in his hands, a bag you unfortunately recognized. “Y/n… What is this?” San muttered, a waver in his voice. It was a bag you used to keep razor blades in, and you hadn’t used them in a very long time, but you had never gotten around to disposing of them either since you had honestly forgotten about them. “Sannie, it’s not what it looks like, I promise i’ve been clean for a long time.” He met your eyes, and you swear you saw his eyes watering just slightly. “You promise?” “I swear. I’ll throw them away right now.” He wipes his eyes and stands, marching over to your bathroom. You follow behind him, and he dumps the contents of the bag into the toilet. He gives the blades a little wave before flushing them down. “Fuck those guys.” “Agreed.” “Promise me you’re okay, though?” “I promise, Sannie. “ He pulls you into a big hug.

Your roommate Mingi had brought you along to a party to get you out of the house. You didn’t mind it, you enjoyed parties, but since you had agreed to be the designated driver, you were holding back from drinking tonight. That didn’t stop you from dancing and having fun with Mingi and the rest of his friends. As the night continued on, you found yourself in a little group with Mingi and some of his other guy friends. Mingi was a little buzzed, and he was getting loud. Some of his friends were joking about Mingi being emo, and he loved that. “I love emo. I wanna be emo.” He slurred just a little bit, and you smiled at him. One of his friends looked over to you and sneered. “Your friend here is already emo, though.” The guy said. You were confused, there wasn’t anything inherently “emo” about your appearance, you were wearing a black sweater, but that was the extent of it. The guy and his other friend snicker, before the other guy lets out a joke. “Wrist check, am I right?” You were appalled. You had no idea how they knew about that, unless one of them saw your scars by accident when you hadn’t noticed. You were pissed. Mingi was just confused. You stormed off without a retaliation. You went out into the front yard to get some fresh air, and Mingi stumbled after you. “What happened? What does that mean?” He slurred. “Don’t worry about it Mingi. They were just being mean,” you explained. “I’m confused.” He whined. You turned to him and just looked at him with a pained expression. He really had no idea. “Look, Mingi, they were making fun of me for having self-harm scars.” You explained. His jaw dropped; he was shocked. He grabbed your hand. “I'm so sorry, Y/n, I had no idea. Those guys are assholes. I should go in there and-” “Mingi, no. It’s over now. Let’s just not hang out with those guys anymore.” “Deal. Are you okay? You don’t- you don’t do that anymore, do you?” He sounded concerned, like he had suddenly sobered up in the last few seconds. “I’m okay. It’s been a long time, but I'm doing better now. I just have old scars now, so now all I have to deal with is stupid people.” You told him. “That's good. I’m proud of you. And next time I’ll beat anyone’s ass that mentions them.” He grabs your hands in both of his and leads you back into the party. 

It was nearly two weeks before halloween, and you and wooyoung were in a rush to find the perfect costumes for a party you were both attending. Wooyoung, as your best friend and perfect roommate, was trying to convince you to wear something sexy and revealing to impress this guy you knew would be attending the party. He had helped you pick out a somewhat skimpy angel costume, a cat costume with more leather than you knew what to do with, and a cop with a quite short skirt. Honestly you felt a little ridiculous. Wooyoung was trying on all sorts of scary masks and hyping you up about your costumes, but you were worried about how you’d look in them. You found your way to the dressing room while Wooyo looked through various prop weapons. You breathed in deep and let it out, looking over the costumes Wooyoung picked out for you. You know he just wanted to help you look hot, but you of all people definitely weren’t going to look like the models on the packages. Your body just didn’t look like that. As you pulled on the first costume, a short white dress with cute little angel wings and a little angel halo headband, you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. It looked alright, but the dress didn’t fit quite right. It didn’t lay the way it was supposed to and it rode up in certain places and it just didn’t look the way it was meant to. With a huff, you pulled the dress back over your head and moved on to option two. It was a leather catsuit with some cat themed accessories. You pulled on the catsuit, but it was the same thing as the dress. It just didn’t look right. Something about your body looked off. Something was wrong, but you couldn’t place your finger on it. You felt tears prick at your eyes as you pulled the catsuit off, getting ready to pull on the third costume. It was a short cop dress, and you just couldn’t stand the way your legs looked in it. At this point, you were really upset, and you hiccuped out a sob. You covered your mouth with your hands, hoping Wooyoung wouldn’t hear, but to no avail. In seconds, he was knocking on the dressing room door, worried. “Y/n?” Are you okay?” He called out for you. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m almost done.” You told him, but your voice was thick with tears. “Are you crying? Let me in.” You sighed but you opened the door for him anyway. He caught a look of the cop costume you were wearing and gave you a once over. “Woah. You look hot. Why are you crying, babe?” He enveloped you in a hug. “I don’t feel hot.” You hiccuped into his shoulder. He hummed in understanding. “I get it.” He placed his chin atop your head. “Your brain is telling you one thing, but I just want you to know you look so incredibly beautiful and this costume would totally kill any man who saw you in it, including me.” “Thanks, Wooyo. I just don’t think I’m confident enough to wear this kind of costume yet. They’re cute and all, but not for me.” “Then does that mean we can wear one of those stupid cheesy couples' costumes?!” He grinned at you. “Fine, Wooyoung.”  

You wake up with a splitting headache. You immediately regret drinking as much as you did last night. It was fun while it lasted, but it had horrible consequences this morning. There was a cold bottle of water and ibuprofen on your nightstand, probably courtesy of your angel of a roommate and designated driver from last night, Jongho. You down half the bottle with the ibuprofen and try to sit up out of bed while the room spins. Suddenly, you feel the urge to vomit, so you rush to the bathroom. You lose all the water you just drank, but your stomach was empty otherwise, so it's just water and bile. You feel tears prick at your eyes. You hate throwing up. You’ve been doing so well in bulimia recovery for so long and this feels like a setback, you know you can’t help it because you're hungover, but it makes you want to cry. You throw up one more time and let out a sob. The headache only pounds harder against your skull with every heave, until you hear a knock at the door. Jongho shouldn’t have to see you in this state. You try to bite back another sob, but he pushes the door open just a bit. “Are you alright? I thought I heard crying?” He questions. “I’m okay. Just hungover.” You sniffle. He pushes the door the rest of the way open and hands you another cold water bottle. “Why are you crying, angel?” He squats down in front of you and gently caresses your face. His hand is cool against your warm face. “I just don’t feel good, Jongie.” You hiccup. You don’t know how to tell him you’re terrified of throwing up. “Why don’t we get some food in you and maybe that’ll make you feel better? Hmm?” He gently grabs your hand and pulls you up from the bathroom floor. He pulls your arms over his shoulder and leads you into the kitchen, setting you in one of the chairs. He even brings the trashcan over to you just in case. He pulls out all the ingredients to make your favorite waffles. “I’m just scared of throwing up. I’ve been doing so well for so long and I’m so scared this is gonna set me back.” You explain once the room stops spinning. Jongho sets down the spatula he’s holding. “I get that. I just want you to know I see how well you’re doing and I’m here for you. We can get through this together. You can do this; I know you can.” He sets down a plate of warm chocolate chip waffles in front of you and you feel the nausea leaving you. “Thanks, Jongie.”

[acute-scary]

Between the Ropes… a Jey Uso x Rhea Ripley fanfic.

Chapter 9: One More Time?

Theme Warning: Mention of Abortion

It was Saturday morning when Jey was jolted awake by his phone ringing insistently. Groggy and disoriented, he glanced at the screen to see Paul Levesque’s name flashing. With a resigned sigh, he answered, knowing this call was likely work-related.

“Hey, Jey. I need you for a wellness drug check,” Paul said, his tone professional but firm. “We’ve had two wrestlers test positive for drugs.”

Jey’s heart sank. The timing was terrible, but he knew better than to argue with Paul. “Which medical center do I need to go to in San Fran?”

There was a brief pause before Paul responded, “Actually, I need you to come to Portland.”

Jey frowned, rubbing his eyes. “Portland? I was hoping to see my regular doctor here in San Fran. Can’t it wait?”

Paul’s voice was unyielding. “The doctor in Portland is already set up and paid for. We need you there today.”

Jey’s frustration mounted. “I can’t just drop everything and fly to Portland on short notice. Why can’t it wait until Monday? I’ve got things lined up today.”

Paul’s tone hardened, leaving no room for negotiation. “Jey, this isn’t a request—it’s an order. The situation is critical, and the arrangements are made. We need you there today, and that’s final.”

Jey felt a surge of anger. “Portland is the last place I want to be right now. Is there something else going on that you’re not telling me? Why so urgent?”

Paul’s voice took on an authoritative edge. “I’m not at liberty to discuss all the details, but you need to trust that this is important. I’ve made it clear—Portland, today, no excuses. If you can’t make it, we’ll handle it differently.”

Jey’s jaw tightened, but he knew arguing further would be futile. Paul’s tone brooked no dissent, and he was well aware of the consequences of defying him. Reluctantly, he conceded, ���Alright, I’ll go. What time do you need me there?”

“Head straight to the medical center when you get in. And Jey, don’t keep us waiting. This is a high-priority matter,” Paul instructed before hanging up.

As Jey lay back in bed, staring at the ceiling, he couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to this than just a routine check. He quickly got up, starting to pack a small bag. Jey pulled out his phone and ordered an Uber, three minutes away … The thought of Portland, the city where his recent conflicts and unresolved feelings lay, added to his frustration. Why was Paul so insistent on Portland? What was the real reason behind the urgency? Jey tried to push these thoughts aside, knowing he had to approach the day with the professionalism expected of him. When Jey started tossing his clothes into his bag with unrestrained force, the noise roused Takecia from a restless sleep. Bleary-eyed, she stumbled into the master bedroom, her irritation evident.

“What’s going on?” Takecia demanded, her voice tinged with annoyance. “Why are you packing your stuff? You just got home.”

Jey, frustrated and still groggy, zipped his bag with more force than necessary. “Paul called me. I’ve got to go to Portland for some wellness check. Apparently, it’s urgent.”

Takecia’s eyes widened, her mood shifting from tiredness to frustration. “Portland? We had plans for today. Can’t it wait? You’ve barely been here.”

Jey slammed the bag shut, his irritation boiling over. “I don’t have a choice. Paul’s insistent, and I can’t just blow off a work directive. Why do you always have to question everything I do?”

Takecia folded her arms, her patience wearing thin. “I’m not questioning. I’m just asking why you’re leaving when we had plans. I was looking forward to spending the day together, maybe I don’t know .. have sex?????”

Jey’s anger flared. “Plans? Sex? This is work, Takecia. It’s not like I can just ignore it because you had a nice day planned. It’s not all about you.”

Takecia’s face flushed with indignation. “It’s not all about me? You know what? Maybe if you didn’t have your head so far up your own ass, you’d realize how much this affects me. I’m not some afterthought you can just shove aside whenever it’s convenient for you!”

Jey’s face hardened, his frustration evident. “Don’t start with me. I’m not in the mood for a fight. I’ve got to get going.”

“Good,” Takecia snapped back, her voice sharp. “Because I’m not going to waste my energy arguing with you. If you want to act like a selfish jerk, that’s on you. Just remember who’s here for you when you’re done playing the hero for your boss.”

Jey, feeling the weight of her words, grabbed his bag and headed for the door. He cast one last glance at Takecia, seeing the hurt and anger etched on her face. He knew she wasn’t one to be fucked with, but the mix of guilt and anger gnawed at him as he walked out of the house and into the Uber.

As he left, Jey’s mind was a storm of conflicting emotions. The urgency of the situation, the looming confrontation with Paul, the fight with Rhea, now the fallout with Takecia—all of it weighed heavily on him. He couldn’t shake the feeling that the day ahead was going to be far from straightforward.

After this I need a fucking vacation..

—

Rhea’s Saturday morning unfolded quietly, with her lying awake in the hotel suite she shared with Damian. The remnants of a restless night clung to her as she noticed Damian still asleep, exhausted from his late return from Seattle.

A knock on the door pulled her from her thoughts. Quickly pulling on some clothes, Rhea opened the door to find one of Paul’s assistants standing there, holding a folder.

“Mrs. Adams?” the assistant began. “I’ve been instructed to inform you that you have a meeting with a doctor today at 12 p.m. at Broadway Medical Clinic. Paul will also be present.”

Rhea’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Why do I need to see a doctor?”

The assistant’s face remained neutral. “I don’t have the specifics, but it’s crucial. Paul insisted.”

Rhea’s unease grew. “Thank you.”

As the assistant left, Rhea shut the door and leaned against it, grappling with the sudden urgency of the situation. Her mind raced, struggling to understand the reason behind this unexpected appointment and Paul’s insistence. Rhea glanced at the clock in the living room, 10:22 AM.

Determined to handle the day with some semblance of control, Rhea prepared herself, her thoughts tangled between anxiety and anticipation. The weight of the appointment loomed large, hinting at a pivotal moment she wasn’t quite prepared for.

—

Rhea arrived at Broadway Medical Clinic, her mind still racing with questions. The limousine parked outside caught her attention as she approached. The window rolled down, revealing Paul’s familiar, reassuring smile.

“Rhea, good to see you,” Paul said warmly. “Please, come in. Let’s discuss this inside.”

Reluctantly, Rhea slid into the back of the limo, taking a seat across from Paul. She glanced around, feeling a surge of unease. “Why the secrecy? Why couldn’t we meet at the hotel or somewhere less… intimidating?”

Paul’s expression softened. “Rhea, I understand this must be overwhelming. I wanted to address a few important matters with you personally. First and foremost, I know about the affair with Jey Uso. It’s come to my attention that there’s a possibility you might be pregnant. To address this, we’ll need to perform a pregnancy test and a Non-Invasive Paternity Test to confirm any claims.”

Rhea’s heart sank. “You’re serious? I don’t want to do this. It’s personal.”

Paul’s tone remained calm, but his voice held a firmness. “I understand your reluctance, but it’s crucial for both your career and the company’s reputation. If you refuse to cooperate, I will have no choice but to suspend you for six months. Upon your return, you will be moved to SmackDown. It’s a significant adjustment, and I’d prefer to avoid that if possible.”

Rhea’s eyes widened in shock. “You’re threatening my career?”

Paul leaned forward slightly, his tone fatherly yet authoritative. “I’m not threatening you, Rhea. I’m trying to help you navigate a difficult situation. This is about ensuring clarity and fairness for everyone involved. I’m here to support you, but we need to address this issue head-on.”

Rhea sat back, her mind racing. The weight of the situation pressed heavily on her. She had hoped to avoid such scrutiny, but now, the reality of her choices and their consequences loomed larger than ever.

Paul had lied to Damian, it was his own way of keeping everything secretive, now if Rhea were to go and do anything, he would at least know.

Paul observed Rhea’s anxious demeanor, his expression softening further. “Rhea, I need you to understand something important,” he said gently. “This isn’t just about enforcing rules or punishing anyone. I genuinely care about you and your career. This situation is complex, and it’s crucial we handle it with transparency and integrity.”

Rhea looked at him, confusion and frustration battling within her. “But why should you even care about me in all this? Why make such a big deal out of it?”

Paul took a deep breath, his voice steady. “I’m trying to protect you, Rhea. The wrestling world is unforgiving, and any hint of scandal can follow you for years. By addressing this directly and honestly, we can avoid more significant issues down the line. I want to ensure that when you look back to work, your reputation and career remained intact and scandal free. This is about preserving your future and ensuring you have the best chance to still be Hall of Fame material.”

Rhea’s shoulders slumped slightly as she absorbed his words. Paul’s tone was sincere, and despite her fears, she could sense his genuine concern. “So, you’re really trying to help me?”

“Yes,” Paul affirmed. “I know this is difficult and uncomfortable, but I’m here to support you through it. We need to face this head-on, and I’ll be by your side every step of the way. Let’s get through this, and we can focus on your future. No one is here.. just the doctor and the tech and they have all signed NDA’s. Let’s go in.”

Rhea took a deep breath, feeling a mixture of relief and resignation. Paul’s commitment to her well-being and career gave her a small measure of comfort, even as she faced the daunting tests ahead.

—

Rhea followed the assistant into the treatment room, her heart pounding. The room was sterile and clinical, a different setting compared to the luxury of the limo. She was handed a small cup and directed to the bathroom. Inside, she took a deep breath, peeing into the cup and placing it in the mini privacy box provided. Her mind raced as she returned to the treatment room.

After about ten minutes, Rhea was guided to another room where a technician waited with a sonogram machine. The technician greeted her kindly and prepared the equipment. Rhea lay down on the examination table, her anxiety mounting as the technician applied gel to her abdomen and began the scan. The screen flickered with images, but her thoughts were elsewhere.

Meanwhile, Jey arrived at the medical center, still grappling with the sudden urgency of Paul’s request. He was greeted by one of Paul’s assistants and led to the waiting room. Paul soon joined him, his demeanor calm and professional.

“Jey,” Paul said, extending a hand. “Thank you for coming on such short notice. We’re conducting a routine wellness check. It includes a drug test and an oral swab. It’s standard procedure.”

Jey nodded, trying to mask his confusion and frustration. “Okay, but why Portland? I thought this could be done in San Francisco.”

Paul smiled reassuringly. “I understand your concern. We have a full facility here for these checks, and it’s easier to manage everything in one place. You’ll need to wait about 30 minutes in the treatment room for the results. It’s all part of keeping things thorough and transparent.”

Jey agreed reluctantly, still uncertain about the reasons behind the sudden move. He was led to the treatment room and left to wait. As he settled into the room, he couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to this than a routine drug test.

Back in the sonogram room, Rhea stared at the ceiling, trying to focus on the technician’s soothing voice explaining the process. Her mind was a swirl of worry and confusion about what the results might reveal and how they would affect her life moving forward.

After arriving in the treatment room, Jey was guided through the routine drug test procedures. He first provided a urine sample, then had blood drawn for further testing. The doctor, a middle-aged man with a calm demeanor, pulled out an oral swab test. Jey noticed a tube labeled with the marking “FAT” and furrowed his brow in confusion.

“Is that supposed to mean something?” Jey asked, his curiosity piqued.

The doctor, sensing Jey’s concern, offered a reassuring smile. “No, it’s just a label for our tracking system. It doesn’t have any bearing on you personally. Just open your mouth, and I’ll get the sample.”

Jey complied, opening his mouth as the doctor swabbed the inside of his cheek. He tried to shake off his unease and pulled out his phone, scrolling through messages and social media to pass the time.

Meanwhile, Rhea was in a similar situation. After finishing her sonogram, the technician performed an oral swab. Rhea watched as the technician pulled out a test tube marked with the label “ADA.” She raised an eyebrow and let out a small chuckle. “I guess that means I’m an Australian With A Disability ” she joked, trying to lighten the mood despite her apprehension.

The technician offered a polite smile as she completed the swab, taking a quick sample from the inside of Rhea’s cheek. “It’s just a standard label for our tracking system,” the technician explained.

As Jey waited for his test results, he glanced around the room, trying to ignore the growing discomfort in his stomach. He continued scrolling through his phone, but his mind kept drifting back to the uncertainties surrounding his current predicament. The ambiguity of the situation only heightened his sense of unease.

—

Paul sat in a quiet corner of the clinic, the documents from the doctor spread out before him. His fingers gripped the edges of the papers as he scanned the results, his face growing increasingly somber. The tests had confirmed what he dreaded: Joshua Fatu was indeed the father of Demi Adams’ 13-week-old fetus. The revelation was disheartening, as Paul had hoped the situation could be managed without exposing such personal and professional turmoil.

The doctor approached Paul, carrying a folder filled with additional information. “Given the nature of Rhea's career and the physical demands it involves,” the doctor began, his tone measured and professional, “there’s a significant risk of miscarriage if she continues with the pregnancy. We also have information on her options, including abortion services and the timeframes within which she can choose to terminate the pregnancy if she decides that’s the best course of action.”

Paul's mind raced as he absorbed the gravity of the situation. He considered the impact this news would have on Rhea’s career, her personal life, and the broader implications for WWE. He felt a deep sense of responsibility not only for Rhea's wellbeing but also for managing the fallout within the organization.

Paul took a deep breath, preparing himself for the difficult conversations that lay ahead. He needed to approach Rhea with sensitivity and support, ensuring she understood her options and the potential consequences of each. The weight of the decision ahead was immense, and Paul knew that navigating this situation with care and respect was crucial for everyone involved.

Paul’s mind manage to focus from the implications of the test results as he directed his assistants to handle the next steps with precision. He knew that managing the situation required utmost control and discretion.

“Make sure both Jey and Rhea are brought to the Ritz Carlton without encountering each other,” Paul instructed firmly. “Arrange for separate transportation for each of them. One of you should go to Rhea’s room and wait with her until her Uber arrives. The other will do the same for Jey. Ensure there are no crossings between them until they reach the conference room. It’s essential that we keep everything in order.”

Paul’s assistants nodded in understanding and set off to carry out his instructions. Paul’s reasoning was clear: by controlling the timing and logistics of their arrivals, he could maintain order and avoid any unnecessary confrontation or complications. The last thing he wanted was for Jey and Rhea to have a run-in before he had the chance to discuss their options and the future course of action with them separately.

Jey's frustration simmered as the assistant hovered around him, ensuring every detail of their ride was handled with meticulous care. "Can’t you just give me some space?" Jey snapped, glaring at the assistant who remained by his side, ready to accompany him in the Uber. The assistant offered a sympathetic but professional smile, clearly aware of Jey’s annoyance but remaining steadfast in their duty.

Meanwhile, Rhea's anxiety was palpable. As the assistant accompanied her to the Uber, she tried to steady her breathing, her fear evident. The ride felt interminable, each moment stretching as she worried about what awaited her. Her heart raced as she tried to focus on calming thoughts, but the assistant's presence offered little comfort.

Paul, fully aware of the need for discretion, made his own preparations. As soon as his assistants had left to escort Jey and Rhea, Paul had slipped into his limo, ensuring the ride was quiet and uninterrupted. He needed to arrive at the Ritz Carlton before his two guests and avoid drawing any attention. The strategy was clear: maintain control and minimize visibility.

Pulling into the hotel, Paul bypassed the main entrance, directing the driver to use the service entrance. With practiced efficiency, he made his way through the back corridors to the conference room. The space had been set up in advance, ready for the tense discussions that lay ahead. Paul carefully avoided any visible contact with hotel staff or other guests, ensuring that he remained an unseen player in the unfolding drama.

About fifteen minutes later, the first of his expected guests arrived. Rhea walked into the conference room, her expression a mix of apprehension and determination.

Rhea sat down as her body tensed with anticipation. The room’s sterile environment felt cold and unwelcoming, accentuated by its harsh lighting and minimalist décor. She stared at the empty chair opposite her, trying to steady her racing thoughts. The silence was almost unbearable, punctuated only by the occasional shuffle of papers or the hum of the air conditioning.

Paul, seated at the head of the table, remained silent and composed, his gaze fixed on the door as if anticipating someone's arrival. His quiet demeanor added to the weight of the situation, making Rhea’s anxiety even more palpable.

The door opened, and Jey stepped inside. His expression was a volatile mix of surprise, frustration, and concern. As soon as his eyes landed on Rhea, a deep silence fell over the room. The sight of her brought back a flood of emotions he had been trying to contain.

Jey hesitated momentarily, his gaze locked with Rhea’s. The weight of their shared past and the gravity of the current situation seemed to crush them both. He walked towards the empty chair and sat down with a deliberate, almost mechanical motion. The chair between them now felt like an impenetrable barrier.

The silence stretched between them, thick and heavy. Rhea’s thoughts churned with regret and uncertainty. She couldn’t escape the realization of how their once-passionate relationship had spiraled into secrecy and betrayal. As she looked at Jey, a pang of guilt and sorrow overwhelmed her. She wondered if they could ever mend what had been broken.

Jey’s mind was equally chaotic. His frustration was evident, but he struggled to keep it in check. He couldn’t understand why Paul had orchestrated this meeting or what was to come. The room felt claustrophobic, and he questioned whether there was any hope for resolution. As he glanced at Rhea, he saw his own pain mirrored in her eyes.

Paul remained silent, observing the scene with a stoic expression. His presence loomed large, a constant reminder of the power dynamics at play. He had orchestrated this meeting to ensure control and to make sure that everything proceeded as he deemed necessary.

The room was charged with unspoken words and unresolved emotions. As Jey and Rhea sat in their respective chairs, separated by a chasm of their own making, the difficult conversations that lay ahead felt almost insurmountable. Paul’s gaze shifted between them, his silence a deliberate tactic as he prepared to address the complexities of their situation.

Paul finally broke the silence, his voice firm. “Thank you both for coming. The tests you both did today confirm everything…. ”

Jey’s face drained of color. “There must be a mistake.”

Rhea’s frustration boiled over. “Jey, the tests are clear. I’m pregnant, and you can’t just ignore it. We have to confront this.”

Jey’s disbelief morphed into agitation. “I can’t handle this right now. It’s too much.”

Rhea’s voice grew sharp. “So now it’s too much for you? I’m the one who has to deal with this, and you’re acting like it’s an inconvenience for you!”

Jey’s anger flared. “It’s not just about me! This is overwhelming, and I don’t know how to process it.”

Rhea’s expression was one of pained determination. “You know what? Maybe I should just get an abortion. It’s clear you’re not ready to face this.”

Jey’s eyes widened. “You’re seriously talking about ending it?”

Rhea’s face was resolute. “What choice do I have? You’re not prepared to deal with this, and I’m left to handle it alone.”

Paul tried to interject, his voice steady. “Rhea, let’s focus on discussing all options and support rather than immediate decisions.”

But before Paul could say more, Jey’s voice cracked. “Rhea, wait. I know I’ve messed up, and I don’t know how to fix this, but… I… I do …” Jey struggled and Rhea freaked out, she knew what he was trying to say.

Rhea looked at Jey, her skepticism evident. “Do you really love me, Jey? Honestly it’s hard to believe after everything.”

Paul stepped in, his tone unexpectedly personal. “Jey, I am going to be honest, I once loved a woman named Joanie, Rhea you know who she is. Joanie was the woman I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. It was a profound connection, but then Stephanie came into my life. Ever since then I keep an open mind when it comes to affairs because Love is complex and can be overshadowed by circumstances. Understanding and effort is crucial.”

Rhea stood abruptly, her eyes filled with tears. “I can’t deal with this right now. I need to be alone.”

Without waiting for a response, Rhea walked out of the room, leaving Jey and Paul behind.

Paul sighed and turned to Jey. “I understand this is a lot to process. I need an answer from both of you by Monday. I need to know how you plan to proceed, both for the sake of your personal lives and the future of your careers.”

Jey sat in stunned silence, trying to grasp the gravity of the situation. The weight of Paul’s ultimatum pressed down on him, as he faced the daunting task of finding a resolution to the turbulent situation.

Paul left the room, heading to his limo with the intent of keeping control over the next steps. The conference room remained heavy with unspoken tension, leaving Jey to finally decide to be a man do what he should have done in the first place. He made his way out of the conference room and headed up the elevator to familiar floor. He knew where to go…

Jey stood in front of the hotel suite door, tension rippling through his body. He knocked again, harder this time, and when Damian finally opened it, Jey's heart was already in his throat. Damian's face was impassive, his eyes narrowing slightly as he leaned against the door frame, arms crossed.

"Where is she?" Jey's voice was rough, on edge. He had no time for small talk, no patience for anything except seeing Rhea.

Damian tilted his head slightly, clearly weighing how much he wanted to say. "She’s not here."

Jey let out a frustrated breath, scrubbing a hand over his face. “Damian, don’t play with me right now, man. Where is she?”

Damian’s expression didn’t change, but there was something in his eyes—something protective, maybe even a little weary. “I don’t know. She just needed space.”

Jey’s chest tightened. He knew what that meant. Rhea had a way of disappearing when things got too heavy, when she needed to be alone with her thoughts. He remembered something she had said to him once in passing, during one of their many late-night conversations. “I'm always on a rooftop. It's like the best place to be when I need to be fully away from someone."

His mind locked onto that, his heart thudding against his ribcage. Without another word to Damian, he turned and strode down the hallway, his steps quick and determined. He knew exactly where she’d be.

The cold air hit Jey like a slap as he stepped onto the rooftop, the city skyline stretched out before him. There she was, just as he thought—standing near the edge, her arms wrapped around herself, staring into the distance like the world could somehow drown out everything that was happening between them.

His heart clenched as he approached her, each step slow and careful, like he was trying not to spook her. “Rhea,” he called softly, the wind carrying his voice toward her.

She didn’t turn, but her body stiffened, as if she’d been expecting him.

“I remember what you said,” Jey continued, his voice rough with emotion. “About always coming to the rooftop when you needed to get away from someone.”

Rhea exhaled, but still, she didn’t move. Jey could feel the tension, the weight of unspoken words hanging between them. He was tired of it, tired of hiding, tired of pretending this thing between them wasn’t tearing them both apart.

“I went to the suite,” he said, his voice louder, more forceful. “Damian told me you needed space. But I’m done with space. I’m done running from this. From us.”

Finally, Rhea turned, her eyes wide with a mix of emotions—anger, confusion, maybe even fear. “Us?” she repeated, her voice cutting through the air like a blade. “What the hell is us, Jey?” Her accent coming out more.

He took another step forward, his chest tight with the weight of everything he had been holding back. “It’s everything. It’s me and you. It’s real, Rhea.”

Rhea shook her head, taking a step back as if she couldn’t bear to hear what he was saying. “No. No, this isn’t real. This is a mess.”

Jey clenched his fists, his frustration boiling over. “It’s real to me! I can’t keep pretending like this doesn’t mean something.”

Rhea’s eyes flashed with anger, her voice rising. “What are you even saying, Jey? You’ve got a wife. You’ve got kids. You think you can just blow that up for—what? For some affair?”

Jey’s heart pounded, his voice breaking as he spoke. “I love my kids, Rhea. You know that. I love them more than anything. But I’m not in love with Takecia anymore. I haven’t been for a long time.”

Rhea flinched, her eyes searching his face for something—anything—that made sense in this chaos. “And what? You think this is love? Sneaking around, lying to everyone? Lying to ourselves?”

“Yes!” Jey shouted, his emotions crashing down like a wave. “Yes, I do. I love you, Rhea.”

The words hung in the air, and for a moment, it felt like the entire world had stopped. But instead of softening, instead of those words pulling her closer, Rhea’s face hardened.

“No, you don’t,” she said, her voice cold, sharp. “You don’t love me. You just don’t want to lose me. And that’s not the same thing.”

Jey’s heart plummeted. “You don’t mean that,” he whispered, but there was no conviction in his voice, no strength left to fight.

Rhea looked away, her arms wrapped tighter around herself. “What are we even doing, Jey? You want me to blow up my life, your life, for this? You think you can just walk away from Takecia, from your kids, and everything will be fine? Do you remember Chyna?? I do! Hunter left her! He had an affair and he left her! She went on a downward spiral after Hunter left her! I don’t want to be responsible for Takecia going on a downward spiral..” Rhea said as she turned back to see Jey.

“I’ll leave her,” Jey said, his voice desperate. “If you leave Matt, I’ll leave her. We can start over. We can have a real chance.”

Rhea laughed, but it was a bitter, hollow sound. “You’re insane. You can’t just walk away from your family like that. This isn’t some fantasy, Jey. This is real life.”

Jey felt his frustration rise again, felt the need to make her understand. “I’m already walking away. I’ve been gone for a long time. You’re the only thing that makes sense to me anymore, Rhea. Don’t you see that?”

Rhea’s eyes filled with tears, her voice trembling. “You think this is love? This is chaos, Jey. This is destruction. And I’m not going to be the one to burn everything down.”

Jey reached for her, but she stepped back, shaking her head. “I can’t do this,” she whispered, her voice barely audible over the wind. “I can’t.”

“Rhea, please,” Jey’s voice cracked, his desperation evident. “Don’t do this. Don’t walk away.”

Rhea looked at him, her eyes filled with pain and anger. “I don’t have any other choice..”

As Rhea's hand closed around the rooftop door, Jey grabbed her wrist with a desperation that shook her to her core. Before she could react, before the protests could leave her lips, Jey spun her around with such force that her breath caught in her throat.

His eyes were wild, burning with a mix of fear, regret, and something else-something darker, something that terrified and thrilled her at the same time. He didn't wait for permission. His lips slammed into hers, hard and frantic, with a hunger that consumed every inch of her.

This wasn't a kiss. This was an explosion.

At first, Rhea resisted, her hands pushing weakly against his chest, trying to maintain the last thread of control she had left. But Jey didn't stop. His hands cupped her face, his fingers tangling roughly in her hair as he held her in place, refusing to let her go. His kiss was demanding, raw, a battle against the space between them, and for a moment, it was as if he was trying to erase all the pain, the betrayal, the uncertainty with the force of his lips alone.

The intensity of it left her gasping for air, but he wouldn't relent. He kissed her deeper, harder, as if this was the only way he could communicate everything he felt-everything he'd been holding back for months. And as the fire in her chest grew, the dam she'd been holding inside finally broke.

Rhea gave in.

Her resistance melted away, her body collapsing into his as her hands clawed at his shirt, pulling him closer. She kissed him back with everything she had, matching his intensity, pouring her anger, confusion, and desire into him. Every wall, every hesitation, shattered.

This was no longer about control. This was about release-about giving in to the one thing that made sense in the chaos of their lives.

Jey's hands slid down her back, gripping her waist with a fierceness that sent a shiver down her spine. He pulled her flush against him, leaving no space between their bodies. Their hearts pounded together, frantic, desperate, as if this was the last kiss they'd ever share. His lips devoured hers with such force it almost hurt, but she didn't care.

Rhea could feel every emotion, every unsaid word, every ounce of regret, passion, and longing in the way Jey kissed her. It was like he was trying to make her understand without words-trying to tell her that she was it for him.

That no matter how messy their lives had become, no matter how broken everything was, this kiss... this was real.

Her fingers tangled in his hair, her body pressing impossibly closer as she surrendered completely. The rooftop, the skyline, everything around them disappeared. There was no Portland, no hotel suite, no Damian, no Takecia.

It was just them-Rhea and Jey, locked in a moment that felt like it could tear them both apart.

And maybe it would.

As the kiss deepened, Rhea felt everything inside her unravel. The pregnancy, the fights, the push, the lies—none of it mattered right now. All that mattered was the way Jey kissed her, the way his lips moved against hers like this was the only way to keep them alive.

She moaned softly into his mouth, her body trembling under his touch as he held her like he'd never let her go. His kiss was frantic, urgent, filled with a desperation that mirrored her own. Every emotion she had been burying for months came rushing to the surface, overwhelming her, drowning her in him.

When they finally broke apart, gasping for air, their foreheads rested against each other, their breath mingling in the cool night air. Rhea's chest heaved, her pulse racing as if her heart was trying to claw its way out of her chest.

Jey's voice was rough, low, as he whispered, "I love my kids, Rhea. But I'm not in love with Takecia. I've never felt like this about anyone."

She stared at him, her lips still tingling from the intensity of the kiss, her mind spinning. The words hung between them, heavy and impossible. She didn't know what to say-what to feel.

"'l will leave her," Jey continued, his hands still gripping her waist like he was afraid she'd slip away. "If you leave Matt, I'll leave her. We can do this... we can be together."

Rhea's heart twisted painfully in her chest. She wanted to believe him-God, she wanted to believe him so badly. But the weight of everything crushed down on her. Was this real?

Could they really make it work? Could they survive everything they'd done?

Her lips parted, the words she wanted to say stuck in her throat. She looked into his eyes, searching for something-some kind of answer, some kind of reassurance. But all she saw was the same fear and desperation she felt.

"I don't know if I can do this," she whispered, her voice trembling. "Jey... I don't know."

Jey's hand moved to her cheek, his thumb brushing away the tear that had slipped free. "I love you," he said, his voice fierce, unrelenting.

"I love you, Rhea. I don't care what it takes. I'll prove it. I'll leave her."

She closed her eyes, leaning into his touch, her heart breaking under the weight of his words.

But before she could respond, before she could even think, Jey pulled her in again, his lips crashing against hers with even more intensity than before. This kiss was different. It was a promise-a vow. He kissed her like it was the last chance he had to show her how much he meant it.

Rhea's mind screamed at her to stop, but her body didn't listen. She kissed him back, pouring everything into that one final, desperate kiss.

Because in that moment, they both knew-they were too far gone to turn back now.

[childrensward]

Making Accessible Interaction Banners - a Guide by Binoo "ChildrensWard"

Interaction or "DNI" (do not interact) banners are a staple of the age regression community, but too often are they made without taking accessibility in mind, whether it's because they're unreadable, have excessive eye strain, or aren't marked with alt text.

Therefore, in the hopes that I can help people out with this, I decided to write a mini guide on how to make your banners accessible for as many people as possible!

Under the "read more" cut, this guide will cover the following:

Fonts, and how to choose the best ones

Text, and what your interaction banners should say

Colour contrast, and why it's important in making your graphics accessible

Eye strain, and why it generally should be avoided

Alt text and image descriptions, and how to write them

And an example of an interaction banner I made using the criteria I've written in this guide!

So, without further adieu, let's get into the real meat of this guide!

Fonts

Fonts are easily the most important thing about an interaction banner! It's how you're going to best convey the contents of your banner in a way that's readable to the viewer. Here's a quick and firty rundown of the different kinds of fonts, as well as which ones you should (and shouldn't!) use for your banner:

Body Copy fonts are your basic Sans and Sans Serif style fonts that you'll most often find on books and websites, because they're some of the easiest fonts to read in smaller text (10-14pt) due to their lack of details. Examples of Body Copy fonts include PT Serif, Arial, Comic Sans, Roboto, and Helvetica Now.

Display fonts are often used for headers and subheaders and include features such as being thick, having unconventional letters, and, on occasion, being in all caps. However, these fonts should not be used for body or small text, as they will be very hard to read. Examples of Display fonts include Futura PT, Elephant, Noto Serif Display, and Shoreditch.

Script and decorative fonts are subtypes of display fonts, with the former having a handwritten quality to them, while the latter are considered to be the fun display fonts. However, you should be very careful with using either of these fonts- not only can they be hard to read on their own, but neither should be used specifically for body or small text in any circumstance. For the sake of readability and accessibility, however, I'd be more inclined to avoid using these fonts.

Text

Aside from the fonts that your text will be written in, the text itself is also a mandatory aspect of your banners. After all, it's what banners are entirely based on, and it's the very thing that tells you who can and can't interact with your posts.

However, there's something important to keep in mind, and that is how much text you're trying to cram into your banner because you're trying so desperately to fit your entire DNI criteria onto it.

What I think is important when it comes to making your banners is to keep any text you have on there as short as possible. If you bombard your banner with all this specific criteria, then you're more likely to make your readers confused, whether or not they happen to be a screen reader user.

When making your banners, ask yourself the following questions when deciding on your criteria:

How likely is it for someone interacting with the age regression or similar communities to fit this criteria? Have I come across a good number of people who fit this criteria that makes it worth mentioning?

Is this criteria at all relevant to the content I'm presenting? Do I need things like inter-community discourse terms from other communities on my banner if I'm making content specifically for age regression?

Is there any "unspoken" criteria that everyone agrees upon that doesn't need to be included? These might include nazis, racists and white supremacists, homophobes and transphobes, ableists and eugenicists, misogynists, anti-choice, etc.

If your answers show that the specific criteria is not relevant, then it's best to leave it out to keep the information on your banner more clear and concise.

Colour Contrast

While colour contrast is something often talked about in web development circles, it's also an important skill to learn when making any sort of graphic design- which is what interaction banners essentially are. Without taking colour contrast into mind, you're left with a banner that may not be easy for most people to read; let alone those with low vision or blindness. We also need to think about things like people who may be using old or outdated monitors, people reading on smaller screens (like a smart phone), and bad lighting and glare. As Contrast Rebellion puts it: aesthetics are important, but aren't the ultimate goal of design.

Okay, so you've understood the reason why colour contrast is important, but how do you put it into action? How do you know your colours of choice are readable?

Well lucky for us, there's many resources out there that help us in choosing the right colours! Here are a few of my favourites:

CSUN: Color Contrast - An introduction article on colour contrast, why it's important, and some examples of good and bad colour contrast choices.

Random A11y - If you don't have any colour combinations in mind, Random A11y is here to help! With it's vast amount of randomly generated colour contrast combinations, you'll have plenty of options to work with. Don't like the combination you're given? Just click on the "new colours" tab to generate a new palette!

Colour Contrast Analyzer - This is a free program for Windows and Mac that helps you with colour checking with a variety of different features; including multiple ways to select colours (CSS color formats, RGB slider, colour picker tool), and a colour blindness simulator.

Accessible Colors - If you don't want to or can't download the program above, then this website works just as fine with checking colours, too! Just enter in the hex codes of your colours, the font size and weight, and which level of conformance you'd like your colours to pass.

Eye strain

A bit of a sore topic for some, but I feel I must put it bluntly for people to understand: making your colours easy on the eyes of the viewer should be your top priority over your aesthetic. Some people, like myself, have certain health conditions that are triggered by eye strain, and by continuing to slap extremely contrasted rainbows on your banners, you're continuing to put disabled people through worsening symptoms, all because you feel the need to retain your aesthetic.

Many of the same resources shared in the Colour Contrast section can also help you to rule out any eye-straining palettes. Also, a general rule of thumb to keep in mind is: if a colour palette is eye straining enough to cause you some mild problems, then it's enough to cause someone with a disability more severe symptoms.

Alt text and image descriptions

I think a lot of us find writing alt text to be daunting- I know I did for a long while, which is why I never wrote any for my posts until recently. But really, once you get the hang of it, it can be very simple and easy to write! Even so, people who don't know how exactly to write alt text often fumble with this- either writing too much or too little, not being clear enough, or just copying the image caption and calling it a day.

Here's some tips and tricks on writing better alt text:

Alt text generally follows the Object-action-context rule. In the words of Alex Chen at Medium: The object is the main focus. The action describes what's happening, usually what the object is doing. The context describes the surrounding environment.

Be specific and concise, and even consider the content of the post or webpage it's on as well. You'll also want to consider the function or purpose of the image, and what you want your viewers to gain from it.

Keep your alt text short, as long descriptions with too much flowery language and filler words can be distracting when using a screen-reader. Generally, most screen-readers will cut off alt text at around 125 characters.

Avoid using "image of..." or "picture of...," as HTML codes will already identify your images as such. However, in this case, mentioning what type of image it is can add context.

Always check for spelling mistakes, as this can affect the user experience, causing interruptions and confusion.

Not related to interaction banners specifically, but avoid including alt text for decorative images that are used to make your post prettier. In this case, insert the word "null" in your alt text fields.

Image descriptions are a little different in the fact that they're allowed to be more descriptive than alt text, considering screen readers won't be able to cut off any alt text at 125 characters. Even so, it's still best to keep your image descriptions as short as possible to save from redundancy and confusion.

Please remember that writing alt text and image descriptions can take a lot of practice and trial-and-error, so don't give up if you can't get it right the first time! Write and rewrite it as much as you need to, or even consider changing your interaction banner altogether if you think it can't be described in words concisely.

An example

Taking what we've learned above, let's take this banner I made just for this post as an example of these characteristics put into action.

In this example, I have chosen the hex colour #4D0000 for my text colour, and the colours #B5F3DC and #E3B158 for my background. According to CCA, the contrast ratios for my colours of choice are 12.8:1 and 7.9:1 respectfully, which both meet the minimum contrasts of 1.4.3 for AA and 1.4.6 for AAA.

I have chosen the font FS Lola Bold, which is a type of display font that's best for headers and subheaders, but not so much any body or small text. I don't have to worry about this though, because I don't have any small text in my banner.

I've also kept my criteria to a simple "No DDLG/CGL interaction," because I feel that this is the most relevant information regarding the content of my blog and the posts I make. Short and simple, yet specific to who I don't want interacting with me. I also like the idea of my favourite fictional characters protecting my blog, which is why I've included another short sentence for it!

Here's an example of what the image description or alt text for this banner could look like:

[Image description: Banner that reads "Toopy and Binoo protect this blog, no DDLG/CGL interaction!" On it are the titular characters from the show. /End ID]

And if I were to have both alt text alongside an image description, then the alt text could be as simple as what the banner reads, which would be:

"Toopy and Binoo protect this blog, no DDLG/CGL interaction!"

Remember, you don't have to go into every little detail with your image descriptions or alt text, because then it can become very confusing for certain people to decipher! Keep it simple and state the minimum.

Closing words

I think that's everything that I wanted to cover in this post. Of course, there's more to accessible design than just text and fonts alone, but when it comes to interaction banners, it's usually the focal point of the images, which is why it's so vital that people with disabilities can also read your banner- especially when they contain important information about your personal boundaries.

Age regressors often pride themselves for the image we've set up for our community, that it's safe for everyone to join and no one will be judged or excluded for who their are. But the reality is, we still have lots of work to do before we're ever at that place, and making our community more accessible is just one of these steps that we should all be encouraged to take. Besides, what kind of message are we sending if we don't take the steps to make our space as accessible as possible? How do you think it'd feel to realize that a community you wanted to join is actively hostile towards you because of the refusal to learn how to accommodate for them? Especially when we have such a huge demographic of disabled people in the community, we can and should be doing better to accommodate for everyone as much as we possibly can.

Learning accessibility is a skill that requires time and practice, and I don't expect anyone to be perfect at it the first time around. The aim of doing these things isn't to make sure that every single thing is 100% accessible in every single way imaginable and with no mistakes whatsoever; but to instead encourage, develop, and incorporate good accessibility practices into our every day lives.

Thank you for reading,

- Binoo

[cherrycola27]

The Comeback Kid

Summary: Jake never expected the one he got away to come back to him. He also never expected the reason why.

Pairing: Hangman x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of mental abuse, intimation. Abortion. Illness. Allusions to smut. Minors DNI 18+

...........................................

At twenty-one years old, Jake Seresin seemed to have it all. He was the starting quarterback for the UT Longhorns, president of his fraternity, on the Dean's list, and had guaranteed acceptance to the US Navy flight school program after graduation. To top it off, he had the most beautiful and amazing girlfriend. He had you.

Yes, life was good for Jake. Up until about six weeks after the Longhorns won the national championship. You disappeared from his life.

You stopped answering his calls. You had dropped out of school. You had moved out of your apartment. To make matters worse, your parents wouldn't tell him anything.

You had vanished without a trace.

Jake was forced to move on. To let you become a phantom, a skeleton in his closet. The one that got away.

It would be a full decade later before you crossed paths with him again in a sea-side, San Diego bar.

When he first laid eyes on you, he thought you were a ghost, and maybe you were.

You and the sins of his past had come back to haunt him.

At first, he thought he was seeing things. What were the odds that the girl he'd never gotten over had just happened to waltz into his favorite hangout?

He took a few steps closer, weaving through the crowd. The closer he got, there was no denying that green-eyed, dark auburn haired beauty in front of him was you.

Your eyes were scanning the room—looking for someone. Jake hoped that if might be him, but he didn't let himself get to attached to the idea. It had been ten years since he'd seen you.

Your eyes met his, and you moved through the crowd quickly and with purpose.

"Jake." You stated once you met him.

"Hi, Sweetheart." He greeted you. "Long time no see." His voice was still as smooth as honey. Even after a decade, he could make your knees weak.

"Jake, I'm not here to flirt. I have something important to talk to you about. Is there somewhere more—private we could go?" You asked him. You looked around the room and noticed some people watching the two of you.

Jake could tell you were serious. He'd always been so good at reading you. "Follow me." He said. He gently placed his hand on the small of your back and guided you out the rear doors of the bar and down to the sand.

His heart was racing. You'd come here looking for him. Maybe, just maybe, you'd missed him just as much as he had missed you. As soon as the two of you were alone, he was going to tell you everything he'd been holding back.

The two of you stopped at the edge of the water. He turned to you and smiled before opening his mouth.

"Sweetheart, you look amazing. I've —I've missed you. Why—why did you leave me? Why did you cut me off? I tried to find you but your parents wouldn't tell me how to get in touch with you." Jake babbled out the moment the two of you are alone. You could hear the hurt in his voice

You're taken aback by his words. You didn't know he felt this way. But how could you?

"I—I didn't leave by choice, Jake." You tell him.

"Wha—what do you mean?" He looks at you confused.

"You father—he told me I had to leave you alone." You say, dropping your eyes.

"What do you mean?" From the way he was reacting, you knew he had no idea about the threats that George Seresin had made against you all those years ago.

"Do you remember the night you won the national championship?" You ask him.

"Of course I do, Sweetheart." Jake replies.

"Do you remember what we did that night?" You continue.

Jake remembered that night fondly. He'd taken you back to his hotel room, and the two of you celebrated his victory tangled up in his sheets.

"Yes." He paused. You can see the gears turning in his brain, but all the dots aren't connecting.

"Well, the next day, I realized I hadn't taken my birth control. I didn't think anything of it until six weeks later." You say.

"Oh my god." He breathes out just as the gears clicked into place.

"You were pregnant." He states.

"Yeah." You admit. "I was afraid to tell you, and when I talked to my parents, they met with yours. Your father said that a baby would ruin your future. He gave my family ten thousand dollars for me drop out, have an abortion, and never speak to you again." You confess. Your voice is heavy with tears.

"So that's why you left? I thought I did something to make you hate me. I thought you didn't love me." Jake's voice cracks.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that alone. That shouldn't have been my father's choice. I would have been there for you. For the baby. We could have been a family!" Jake shouts. He isn't mad at you, you know that. He's mad at what was taken away from him.

He runs his hands through his hair as he paces back and forth across the sand. You've just dropped the first bomb of the evening on him, and his having a hard time processing. You can see the tears glossing over his eyes

"I didn't get the abortion." You tell him. His head snaps up to look at you.

"You didn't?" He asks, voice barely above a whisper.

My parents and I moved to the east coast, and I had the baby. A boy. His name is DJ." You tell him.

"A boy? A son? I have a son?" Jake can't stop the tears now as he chokes on the words.

"He's nine, and he looks just like you, Jake." You tell him. He's silent for a moment, trying to process everything.

"Can I see a picture?" He asks. He's afraid you'll say no, but you don't. You pull out the phone and show him picture after picture of DJ.

"He's—He's amazing. Can I—why are you just telling me this now?" Jake asks. It's been years since DJ was born, and he wants to know why all of a sudden you've come back.

"DJ, he—he's sick." You are trying not to cry again. Jake's face drops.

There it is. The other life altering news you have for him. Not only does he have a child, but he also has a child who's dying.

"What—what do you mean?" You hear the worry in his tone.

"He has leukemia. He needs a bone marrow transplant. I'm not a match, and neither are my parents." You tell him.

"I came here to find you to ask you to get tested to see if you were a match. I wouldn't ask you if I had any other options. Please, Jake. I can't lose my little boy." You couldn't fight the tears any longer. They stream down your face as you beg him for forgiveness. To not let his resentment of you leaving him be the reason he won't help you.

He doesn't say anything. Wordlessly, he pulls you close, tucking you under his chin like he always did.

You buried your face in his chest and sobbed.

"I'll do anything you need." He whispers as he presses a kiss to your hairline.

He stood there slightly, taking it all in.

His father had paid you to disappear.

You'd had his child. He was a father. He had a son.

His son was sick. You needed his help. How could he deny you?

Jake took a deep breath. The idea of fatherhood had never crossed his mind, but now that it was right here in front of him, he knew there was nothing he wouldn't do to help his son.

I hope you guys enjoy this first chapter! As always, likes are great, but comments and reblogs are golden!

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Special shout out to @thedroneranger for helping me with this!