#and that her motivation for back and forth is the same - it's always about what she thinks is best for her family in that moment

[wistfulwatcher]

emily prentiss + leaving and coming back for her family

[yannisdesk]

On Arcane & Antivillains

One thing I really enjoy about Arcane is how it handles antivillains.

For one, most of the characters (main ones) would actually fall into the category of antivillain at one point, or in the case of our two protagonists, become one. Arcane is arguably ripe with them.

An antivillain is essentially the opposite of an antihero. Simplified, antiheros do good things out of selfish or questionable motives, antivillains do things that are objectively bad or evil, but for noble reasons or for a greater cause. Another term for them is "sympathetic villain" however that term is too vague (there are villains out there who are sympathetic, but are none the less traditionally evil and therefore do not qualify as antivillains), and "antivillain" is a much better term mirror to "antihero." A common thread I've noticed among antivillain characters is some level of a Machiavellian approach to achieving their goals - the ends justify the means type of philosophy is something you'll always find characters that fit this category. At the very least, they dabble with it. In their eyes their actions are always justified because they're fighting for a good cause.

To put things into perspective, I'll use two examples. Harley Quinn shifts around, but she is frequently an antihero, take her depiction in both Suicide Squad movies. She does take down bad guys, however she's not doing so out of a sense of altruism, but to get a reduced prison sentence. Very cut-and-dry example of antiheroism.

On the flip side you have Magneto. Now from what I've seen (I've dabbled in the comics, but haven't dived in all the way) in the comics he gets very dark with the antihuman action. But in the Xmen movies, he definitely does some down right villainous stuff, but his intention remains the same - he wants mutants to live in a world free of bigotry and he's willing to do anything necessary to achieve that, including committing atrocities.

Now if this sounds very confusing to you and you swear you've heard these terms interchangeably or that you can think of several characters that are labeled as type A when they should be type B or vice versa, that's pretty normal. These aren't archetypical heroes and villains we're talking about, so it can be hard to categorize them, and honestly most characters in general will go back and forth or shift at one point or another, so all you need to know is that those definitions are the ones we're working with in this post.

Here are the characters from Arcane that I think suit this label, and others that I think will.

Disclaimer: this is not me hating on the characters. I love all of these characters for this layer to their character. This is not a "oh, look, this character is bad actually," post. If anything, consider it a celebration of their gray morality and how well its explored in the show.

Silco

Duh. Silco is objectively pretty evil. Setting up a drug empire that destroys your own people, getting in-cahoots with corrupt cops, killing kids, and aiding in destroying a young girl's mental health is multiple levels of foul. However, for him, all of this was part of an elaborate plan to liberate Zaun, which is being aggressively oppressed by Piltover. They were necessary sacrifices made to the cause, and worth it because it will bring forth better days for him and his people. Now obviously, a lot of his actions definitely have to do with his own ego, however the only time Zaun isn't prioritized is when it comes to Jinx, who is like a daughter to him, and even that realization comes to smack in the face late in his arc.

Sevika

I'd argue she's even more noble than most since she truly is rooted in the cause for Zaun. Not only is she willing to do some pretty bad things for the "greater-good", she's even willing to betray people who she views as unfit or incompetent. And what's even more telling is that she doesn't do this for power (which is arguably a part of Silco's prerogative). Sure, she's his #2, but he doesn't exactly show any favoritism. And Sevika seemingly isn't even trying to become the new leader of Zaun after Silco's death from the season 2 clips, but will support Jinx, despite the fact that she probably could dethrone her. She's no true blue hero, but she's not a megalomaniac either.

The Entire Council of Piltover (Minus Mel & Jayce)

As obnoxious as they are, none of them are mustache-twirling villains. As we see with characters like Sheriff Grayson (not a council member, but they share the same sentiment), they legitimately think they're protecting the city with their neglectful leadership and oppression of Zaunites. Yes, this includes Heimerdinger, who seemingly only started caring about Zaun once he was booted out of the council, so that places him firmly in antihero territory in my opinion.

Why did I exclude Mel and Jayce? Their plots are actually upward in terms of morality, especially Jayce who by the end is closer to being a traditional hero by prioritizing peace and progress over the status quo or war, and actively makes the first move of trying to right Piltover's wrongs. Mel's arc has also moved this direction as well, as she went from arguing that Jayce and Viktor should build Hextech weapons in case of war with the Zaunites, to fully embracing peace. You could argue that Mel wanting the weapons means she was at some point an antivillain, and I might agree, but as it stands, she's firmly in the clear.

So, why are the rest of the council still considered antivillains? Honestly, we just don't know much about their motivations to say. They ultimately did a good deed in voting for peace, but you know, one good deed doesn't wash-out the bad and vice versa. They're not even on thin ice for me, they're still fighting for the surface.

Marcus

Questioning your actions does not mean you can't be an antivillain, and Marcus is a good example of that. He's is kind of like Caitlyn if she were way less compassionate and very incompetent. Marcus does not think his actions are evil, according to show runners he only places Vi in Stillwater to protect her from Silco; he gets involved with Silco because he wants justice for the building explosion and it goes out of hand. That said, he also threw a child into a dangerous prison with no charges and with the intention of keeping her there for life, and worked with a kingpin who was actively antagonizing his own people while reaping benefits from an abusive system. So yeah, Marcus falls more into being an antivillain than full-blown villain, he's still firmly an antagonist though.

Ambessa

I know it's very popular in the fandom to call Ambessa a traditional bad-guy type of villain, but she is actually very nuanced. For one - she does not see her actions as evil, nor are her motivations behind doing them rooted in it. Ambessa, as she states in Mel's flashback, was raised in the Noxian way. Her grandfather literally made her search the dead bodies of the people they massacred when she was a youth, and she was indoctrinated to believe that this was in the best interest of her family and the Noxian people. By showing strength and ruthlessness, she's telling the rest of the world: "Stay away from House Medarda and Noxus." Hence, why Kino's death wrecks her, because she values herself over how effective she is at warding people off from messing with her family. Her main reason for getting involved with the war between Piltover and Zaun will 100% be because Mel's life was nearly lost due to Jinx's bomb, and this is coming straight off of her son's death mind you. So, while Ambessa may definitely be one of the most ruthless people on this list, she is not at Palpatine levels of evil yet, not by a long shot.

Jinx

You guys saw this coming, right? This barely needs an explanation. Jinx grew up in the Lanes, was a victim of Piltover's oppression multiple times throughout her youth, was willing to fight for their freedom as seen in episode 2, and in the end, that desire, along with her being adopted by Silco, manifested in her doing multiple acts of violence, including terrorism against Piltover, which frequently hurt people who weren't guilty of anything. (No, blowing up the building in episode 3 doesn't count as one of her evil deeds because it was an accident.) We understand completely why Jinx does what she does, even though it hurts to see her slip farther and farther into this mindset.

Vi

Way more subtle (for now) but I'd argue she's there come episodes 8 and 9. Hell, you could argue that her arc is about her sense of morality breaking down due to realizing how impossible the situation between Zaun and Piltover is, and embracing an "ends justifies the means" type mindset that Vander tried to sway her against back in episode 2. Wanting to stop a kingpin from using this new dangerous drug to destroy your city and sister? A noble cause, indeed. Not really caring that (or being passive over the fact that) children die in process because of their approximation to said bad guy? Yikes. [EDIT: Since we're on this topic: here's a link to where I explored this aspect of her character. I did this a while ago, but I thought it best to include it here too for added context). Now, I know what some of you are going to say - how is this any different from, say, Steve Rogers telling Wanda Maximoff that sometimes there's collateral damage when doing hero work? The difference is that Steve didn't argue that those people had it coming because they're associated with the bad guys/or in their way, which Vi does. That's some dangerous conviction right there, and we'll probably see that elaborated on in season 2 given that she's becoming an Enforcer which is a position that lends itself to abuse of power (and if it goes anyway like things do with her game counterpart, she will engage in police brutality and not see an issue with it, but given that Arcane's Vi is way more well, nuanced, than her game counterpart I don't think it will go on for long). While we're on the topic of Vi, according to her prison records, she had a notorious reputation while doing time to the point that I find it funny Silco didn't put 2-and-2 together that the girl with short pink hair beating the shit out of and attempting to murder all of his goons that went to Stillwater was possibly the same girl that wiped the floor with those same goons the night Vander died.

Potential Antivillains of Season 2:

These are characters that I predict will become antivillains at some point during season 2 based off of where their season 1 arc left and clues from season 2 teasers and clips. This is not me saying for sure this will happen, only a prediction. But if it does come true, I will gladly collect $5 per accurate plot point.

Viktor

Two words: glorious evolution.

We all love Viktor. We all love good-guy Viktor, and we will also more than likely love not-so-good-guy Viktor due to how complex that arc will be. If it will go anything like his game-lore (which I suspect it will) his noble intentions will never leave him, just simply evolve to include some less-than-heroic actions and justifications. He still wants to improve the undercity, and well, humanity overall, with hextech, motivated by the injustices he's been put through his own life and his illness, but he will go about it in some very unorthodox ways, and his arc in Arcane is about him confronting if he wants to "evolve" his morality for the sake of his ultimate goal, which is progress. Viktor would definitely agree with the sentiment expressed by Gloria Steinem (character depiction, not a real quote) in Mrs. America - "Revolutions are messy, people get left behind."

Caitlyn

I'm pretty sure she actually will become apart of the antivillain roster in season 2, but noting is for certain. Caitlyn is perhaps the saddest version of this there is, because we see where she starts out. She doesn't want to be like everyone else in her circle, she tries to break free and be better. She wants to do good by both Piltover and Zaun. She has hope, gentleness, and doesn't place herself above even those who occupy the lowest levels of Zaun. She puts herself, her status, and her life on the line to discover the truth, and comes out her time with Vi steadfast in wanting to help heal Zaun. She can be a little naive and ignorant, but she never does so with malicious or ill intent. She is the kindest person in Arcane.

But, given that her mother was killed in a terrorist attack set off by the new Head Zaunite in Charge, things will change. As we see, Caitlyn becomes a sheriff on the Enforcer squad, and now her goal is no longer to sow peace between Zaun and Piltover, it's to avenge her mother by assassinating Jinx. Of course, this will be due in part that Caitlyn thinks snuffing Jinx out will solve the problem, which will be ironic and hypocritical because she told Ekko that getting revenge on Silco won't solve anything in Zaun, but now that she's in the same predicament, the tables have turned and now diplomacy is off the table. She still has that hero-complex, as she lives by the lessons of Sheriff Grayson, but now it's with a twist. The idealistic Caitlyn who believed in giving peace a chance through reform is gone, and she now believes that there's little to no cost too great for her to achieve this, even if that (possibly - again season 2 hasn't come out yet, so we shall see) means hurting innocent Zaunites. And what's scary is that Caitlyn has the intelligence, dedication, talent, and efficiency to pull it off. Truthfully, I believe we won't just be getting Sheriff Caitlyn in season 2, but also Dictator Caitlyn.

[ninii-winchester]

Unveiled Sorrows (Part 1)

Dean Winchester X Reader, Sam Winchester x Reader (platonic)

Word count: 3k

Other Characters : Sam Winchester, John Winchester.

Warnings : spoilers for s1-5, heavy angst, canon violence, foul language, implied smut.

A/n: This series follows canon plot line but some scenes might happen differently or be completely changed. Check the warnings for each part before continuing.

I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION TO COPY MY WORK, TRANSLATE IT OR POST IT TO ANY OTHER PLATFORM. REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED.

Bad luck follows the Winchesters like the plague, they can't seem to outrun it. If someone asked Y/n to describe who the Winchesters were to her, she'd only have one word to say. Family. She wouldn't mind having bad luck on her tail if it meant staying with her family. Besides even if they can't seem to outrun it, they always fought it. And they always kicked ass.

Y/n was a solo hunter, a badass one at that, she never believed in partnering up with other hunters, because every hunter has a different motive and motives change. She's never trusted a hunter and she never would but that all changed a few years back when she met the Winchesters.

Now, typically one would think she'd dropped her guard because its 'The Winchesters' but she didn't. It was far from that. She met the two brothers when they were looking for their father. She told them to not waste their breaths since the man didn't want to be found. The two boys were curious as to how she knew about their father. She told them that she knew the man enough to know his intentions and that is, he didn't want to be found. The boys were intrigued by her and asked her to join them, help them find their father.

"I don't chase dead ends boys nor do I trust hunters."

That was the last thing she said before she walked out on them. The next time they met was in Manning, Colorado, Y/n was hunting the same vampire nest that the Winchesters were.

“I see you found daddy dearest.” Y/n said leaning against the Impala after they cleaned out the nest.

"I see you've met my boys, Y/n." John smiled.

"Yeah well they've been all over the place looking for you, kinda hard to miss." She smirked. Dean chuckled at her comment.

"You're a great hunter." Sam commented, a small smile gracing his lips. She nodded her head and she raised her beer bottle towards him.

"Alright, now my works done here so I'll be heading out." She said. "Later boys."

"Wait." Y/n turned to the owner of the voice. "I need your help."

"Did I hear it correctly? John Winchester asking for help I must've gotten hit pretty hard." She laughed. "What is it?"

"I need you to stay with them. We need all the help we could get." John said. "You're one of the best I know." Dean's brows furrowed at that, his dad complementing someone is big.

"And what makes you think I'd stay and help? I don't trust hunters. As if you didn't know that already. John." She gritted her teeth.

"I know but it's out there and you know it." John said knowingly. His sons looked back and forth between their father and the young girl.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Y/n." She knew what he was talking about, the yellow eyed demon. The one that killed her parents when she was a baby. The fire in the nursery when she was exactly six months old. Just like Sam. The Winchesters are obsessed with the yellow eyed demon and they wouldn't stop at nothing to kill that thing.

"It has nothing to do with me." It was the second time she walked away from them.

The yellow eyed demon killed her parents, she had been chasing the demon for years, it's what that made her the great hunter she is, that's how she met John in the first place but now she knew getting revenge wouldn't bring her parents back, it wouldn't bring her peace either. She needs to move on and focus on whatever life she has left. It may sound weird for a twenty two year old girl but that's how she thought.

But as if it was destiny. Y/n watched a truck crash into the same Impala she leaned on a few days back. She jumped out of her own car before calling 911.

"Damn it you boys." She slammed the car door as she got back in her car and followed the ambulance back to the hospital.

After John died, she decided she'd stick around Sam and Dean considering it their father's last wish. And the rest was history. If you'd ask her she wouldn't be able to tell when Sam Winchester became her best friend in the whole world. It might've been the fact that they share the same trauma or maybe that Sam compensated for Dean being a dick. Dean didn't like Y/n joining them, he didn't hate her per se, but he hated the fact that his father asked her to help them rather than telling them what he knew. They butted heads alot, both being stubborn and filled to brim with trust issues. They had a hard time around each. It took a while but they warmed up to each other.

Now for Y/n, the Winchester Brothers are her family. To them it's her. They've never hesitated to kill for one another and wouldn't hesitate to die either.

Sam and Y/n were deeply troubled when Dean started acting strange after a run in with a Djinn. Sam tried to coax it out of Dean but he remained unsuccessful.

"Hey, you." Y/n sat beside Dean as he tinkered with the Impala. He turned to look at her. "Mind telling me what's going on up there?" She gestured towards his head.

Dean froze for a second. He didn't know what to say. He couldn't tell her what the Djinn showed him. How was he supposed to tell her he saw her being his wife, them living the white picket fence life. The life he so desperately wanted yet couldn't have. She wouldn't understand. Nobody could. Even he couldn't understand why he saw her. Dean didn't love, as in committing in relationships. Dean loved, as in I would die for you but I'd never tell you that I love you.

"Nothing sweetheart, Its nothing." He smiled like he usually does. Y/n knew better than to push him. So she walked away.

The trio hunted down all sorts of supernatural beings. They stuck through everything together. Y/n was there when Dean stupidly made a deal to bring back Sam, she was there when the doors of Hell opened. She stuck by Sam when Dean was dragged to Hell. She even went up to the crossroads to sell her soul in exchange of Dean's. Clearly she was refused. When Dean came back from Hell, Sam and Y/n welcomed him back with open arms.

Everything was awful. It sucked but alteast they were in this together. They had each other and that's what all they needed. Y/n was there when they found out Dean broke the first seal in Hell and she was there when Sam broke the last. Y/n was there for the Winchesters when the apocalypse hit and she had hoped they would be together when it ends. They had been trough Hell and back together, literally, and she hoped her family would be by her side. But little did she know.

Dean hasn't been the same ever since he came back from Hell. Everyone noticed. He hadn't been sleeping, he kept drinking. He kept telling everyone that he doesn't remember what happened down in the pit. But he does, and little does he know, Y/n knew too. She could see it on his face that something is eating him away but she knew Dean, and she knew it would be a waste to ask because he wouldn't tell. She'd hear him scream at night, waking up from nightmares, she'd watch him drink himself to self to sleep only to be woken up by the nightmares, again.

The trio had turns sharing rooms while being on hunts, with whatever money they had they could only afford one room but when they could get two, they would. Y/n always shared with one of the boys since they don't want to risk her safety, clearly knowing she can handle herself but it helps them sleep at night.

"You know you can talk to me about anything right?" Y/n walked up to Dean as he poured himself another glass of whiskey.

"Sweetheart its 3am. What're you doing up late?" He ignored her comment.

"I could ask you the same thing." She shrugged.

"Its.." he started.

"Nothing." She finished for him. "I've heard it."

The two of them sat in silence as the clock ticked. Dean stood up from the the chair he was sitting on and made his way towards his bed. He dropped on it with a sigh.

"Dean." Y/n called out and he turned his face to look at her. "You don't have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. It's not your responsibility." She said softly.

"Isn't it though?" He asked sitting up.

"It isn't." She said firmly.

"You don't even have half the idea...-"

"Then tell me. Tell me what's bothering you, tell me we can get through this together." Dean shook his head at her words. "Like we always do."

"I started a goddamn apocalypse Y/n, I don't think there's anyone else to blame. Sam may have broken the last seal but I broke the first one. I..." Tears gathered in his eyes which made Y/n scared, if it was bad enough to make Dean cry, it was bad. She made her way towards her bed and sat infront of him.

"I know you broke the first seal Dean. You keep saying so but you never tell us what is it."

"Dean."

"They offered me to....they said they'd take me off the rack if i did the torturing. Time works differently there than here, for you it was four months but there it was forty years. They'd cut me up to nothing and then I'd be whole again and it'd start all over again. I held on for thirty years. But then I broke. I agreed and i did. And the most fucked up part is that I enjoyed doing it."

"It's okay Dean." She went to sit beside him and held him close. "You tried you best, you held on for thirty years Dean." She held back her own tears. "It's not your fault. If anything, I should be blamed equally for letting Sam fall for Ruby's trap. I should've been careful."

"No you're wrong if only I hadn't been so weak, if only i didn't break." He shook his head. "It was the first seal, a righteous man shedding blood in hell. I broke the first seal." He cried. She held him close hoping she could make him realise that it wasn't his fault.

"Now the refusal makes sense." Y/n mumbled under her breath.

"What refusal?" Dean sat up and stared down at her.

"Nothing." She avoided looking at him.

"Y/n." He said calmly but his tone was stern. "Tell me." Y/n looked away completely as she stood and turned away so she didn't have to look at him. "For the love of God tell me Y/n don't test my patience."

"I went to the crossroads demons but they refused. They said they had you exactly where they wanted, I didn't why back then, but now it makes sense."

"You did what?" Dean yelled and grabbed her arm to make her look at him. "You tried to sell your soul?"

"Dean."

"Don't Dean me.!! God damn it." He yelled and Y/n wondered how the hell Sam didn't hear them for the thin motel walls.

"Yes i tried to sell my soul so what huh? You're not the only one who cares okay? I wouldn't have minded giving my soul to bring you back." She yelled back.

"You can't go around doing stupid shit like that." Dean exclaimed clearly on the verge of losing his mind.

"Why do you get to deci-..."

"Because I can't lose you." Dean snapped cutting her mid sentence. He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her closer. He cupped her cheeks in his hands. "I can't lose you, sweetheart. I'd happily go back to hell if it means keeping you safe." He said resting his forehead on hers.

"Dean..."

"Please, promise me you won't pull another stunt like that. I can bear those scratches and cuts on you from hunts but this is where i draw the line."

"Dean this isn't fair." She cried.

"There's nothing fair in this life, sweetheart. I've got angels on my ass asking me to say yes to being another angel's bitch. Do you think that's fair?" He chuckled a bit. Y/n shook her head. "Cmon darling, I'm waiting on that promise."

"I promise I won't try to sell my soul. But that's it."

"I can work with that." Dean looked at her teary eyed face as she looked up at him. "If you keep looking at me like that, my resolve will break." He said huskily.

"What're you talking abo-.."

"I really can't take this anymore." Dean mumbled before smashing his lips against hers. He knew he shouldn't have done that, he blamed the alcohol in his system, he tried to pull away as soon his brain registered what he had done but she snaked her arms around his neck and pulled him closer.

His hands immediately went to her waist and picked her up. He gently laid her on one of the beds and hovered above her.

"Please stop me right now or I won't be able to." He murmured against her neck, as he placed soft kisses against her skin.

"I don't want you to." Y/n pulled him up for another kiss. She tugged at his tshirt which he gladly removed. Their clothes were thrown around haphazardly. The two of them continued to bask in pleasure and euphoria as the night progressed they ended up falling asleep in each others arms.

The sun shone through the window of the motel room. Dean had woken up from his slumber as he felt Y/n stir in her sleep. He looked at her sleeping figure and smile appeared on his face. The ringing of a phone made Y/n open her eyes.

"Good morning, sweetheart." Dean pecked her lips and grabbed his phone from the nightstand.

"Morning." She snuggled closer to him.

"Sammy." He answered the phone. "Yeah, uh huh... yeah no, she's still sleeping.." He waited for Sam to finish speaking. "Alright see ya."

"Remind me again, why're we here?" Y/n yawned sitting up, clutching the sheets to hear chest.

"Here as in my bed or here as in this town." Dean grinned as he pulled her into his chest. Leaving kisses on her neck.

"Dean.."

"Well Sammy thinks this girl killing another girl in a school bathroom is our kinda gig. He called to ask if you wanted to tag along to the mental hospital for interrogation i told him you're asleep."

"I see. Breakfast?" She turned to look at him.

"Sure sweetheart." He caressed her cheek. "Shower together? You know it'd save time." He smirked.

She rolled her eyes and went inside the bathroom but she didn't close the door. Dean understood and immediately joined her. To no one's surprise, they just showered together. Dean might've stolen a kiss here and there but that was it.

After shower the two of them got ready and met up with Sam. Y/n sat in the backseat of the Impala as they waited for Sam. As Sam told them what he found out Y/n spoke,

"I don't know if this is our thing Sammy, high schools can be brutal."

"You sound like Dean." Sam retorted.

"You're calling me dumb Sammy?" Y/n fake gasped.

"Sweetheart I'm offended!" Dean feigned hurt.

"Shut your trap you two. Im telling you she said she felt like she was possessed."

"Fine." Y/n groaned and they decided to check out the school.

Truman High School.

"Didn't you say you two went here for a while?" Y/n said as they walked down the hallway.

"A week." Dean replied.

"Reminiscing huh." Y/n teased nudging Sam with her shoulder and he rolled his eyes.

It did turn out be their kind of thing. First they found it was Sam's friend's spirit that was haunting the halls of the high school. After Salt and burning his bones they found out that Sam's friend's bully was messing around too.

"You just had to surround yourself with shitheads didn't you.!" Y/n exclaimed to Sam as they tried to find the piece of hair that kept Dirk's spirit connected to this world.

"I do keep you around so.." Sam shrugged with his famous bitch face making Dean laugh. 

Dirks spirit appeared at and lunged at Y/n who was standing the gate of the bus. He grabbed her in a chokehold while she tried to elbow him. Sam immediately shot him with his shotgun making him disappear but he appeared again. He grabbed Y/n by the arm and threw her at the nearest tree, knocking her out cold.

While Sam tried to wrestle the spirit Dean found the hair, burning it making the ghost disappear.

"Y/n." The two boys rushed to her side and helped her up.

"Hey hey...sweetheart you hear me?." Dean patted her face.

"Im alright." She wheezed before sitting up. "Son of a bitch." She groaned. "Is he gone?"

"For good." Sam replied.

Tags:

@spnfamily-j2 @galway-girlatwork @queensilber

[ribread03]

Are We Still Friends? C.S.

AN: "took" [asked to use] this request from @6ix9inewiturmom but turned into a Chris fic because I feel like I have no Chris stuff so yeah. I tagged her version at the end so go read it after you do this one! Also this took me like months to write bc I had no motivation so yeah.

Content: use of y/n, smut, fluff, sub chris [kinda], unprotected [don't be silly wrap your willy], pet names, riding

Getting ready for bed in Chris's room because you decided that you wanted to spend the night with the triplets and Chris asked you to stay the night with him, which you had no problem with since you've had a crush on Chris for a little while now.

The TV is playing some cartoon in the background as you step of the bathroom in you sleep clothes. Plopping down on the bed next to Chris. He doesn't look up from his phone which is odd. You nudge Chris on the shoulder and he just groans. "Chris what's wrong with you tonight, I feel like we haven't talked at all." You've felt like this the whole day, he's been acting all shy and not talking which is not normal for him.

"Nothing y/n" He mumbles out. Not bothering to look up from his phone to answer you. You just roll your eyes and decide to just go on your phone.

About 20 minutes into your scrolling on tiktok you feel eyes on the back of your head. Sitting up from how you were laying on your side. Looking at Chris you meet his eyes, his face instantly turning a deep shade of pink.

"Chris?" You question. Sitting up more you turn to face him. Slightly giggling at the fact Chris was staring at you.

"y/n?" He questions back in the same tone as if he wasn't just staring right at you.

"I felt you looking at me Chris..." You say a slight blush coming over your face now. "Do you just really like the back of my head or.."

"I was just..." He trails off as he thinks. "I was just zoned out for a sec that's all, Sorry." He says softly. You know Chris is lying, he's a very bad lair and always plays with his hair more when he does.

"mhm, okay Chris." You tell him and scoot closer to him. "Your a bad lair you know." You whisper into his ear. You then go to roll back over when Chris speaks up again.

"Okay fine, I was staring at you..." Chris whispered.

You heard him but wanted to tease him a bit. Sitting up some more and turning to him. "What was that?"

"I was staring at you, okay?" He finally admits. Clearly flustered

Trying to hide your blush-your crush was looking at you because he wanted to- it wasn't working well. "That's what I thought" You spoke seductively and moving closer to him.

"I-" Chris starts but you cut him off before he can even start.

You place you hand on his arm, "its okay Chris I don't mind." You say with a slight giggle. "I stare at the back of your head sometimes to." You shamelessly admit to him.

"Really?" He ask, surprised that you stare at him to.

'Mhm' You hum back, now moving your hand up and down his arm.

"Oh" Hes still flushed from you catching him and is at a lost for words. "Well I guess I should tell you something then." He starts but trails off.

"Go on." You edge him on wanting to know what he wants to tell you.

"Well, what I want to tell you is that I've had a massive crush on you for a few years now..." He says avoiding eye contact with you, looking everywhere but you honstly.

"Oh" you hiccup out. "I should tell you that I like you to then." You say with a shrug of your shoulders acting as if its something everyone already knew.

"Huh?" Chris lets out a quiet squeak at the end of his word.

"Yup" You say with a straight face, turning a slight shade of pink now.

"I don't get it... You, y/n, like me?" He says pointing back and forth between you and him.

Shaking you head you lean in and kiss Chris. He's shocked at first but kisses you back as soon as he realizes what is happening. You pull back slightly "That help any?" You ask cheekily, a smirk painting you face.

"Yea" He whispers against your lips, going back in for another kiss. Chris' lips are soft on yours. His hands going to your waist pulling you onto his lap, never breaking the kiss. Your hands trail to the nape of his neck, lightly playing with the hair there.

"Chris?" You mumble into his lips.

Chis humming in response pulling away from you lips, now leaving sloppy wet kisses along your neck.

"I need you chris" You whisper tilting your head back so more of your neck is exposed.

"I need you to y/n" Chris pulls back from your neck and looks you in the eyes. "Are you sure you want this? like for real sure, once we do this there's no going back to before." Him asking if you are really sure turns you on even more.

"Yes Chris, I don't want things to go back." You say now kissing down his neck making sure to leave love bites. You slowly start to grind down on Chris, soft whimpers leaving his lips.

"Ke-keep doing that" Chris moans out.

"What do I get if I keep going?" You ask him, not wanting anything in return-your happy to be doing this- you still ask him just to tease a little. Chris answers with little whimpers and moans, you stop when words dont come out of his mouth. "I asked you a question pretty boy." You say bringing your hand up to his face, rubbing your thumb across his cheek.

"I- please y/n" Chris pleads griping your hips moving them himself, you grab his hands and take them off of your hips so he cant move them. "Anything, anything you want y/n" With his word you continue your movements, pressing down a little harder.

"Fuck" You moan out in-between kissing his neck. Your hands toy with the bottom of his shirt, pulling it up over his head. Your taking off your shirt almost immediately after his. You feel Chris' eyes on your exposed tits. "Like what you see?" You ask.

Chris shakes his head yes. You grab his hands you bring them up to your nipples, letting your head fall back when he plays with one. Your hands fall down to the waist band of his pants. "Can I?" Chris hums a response nodding his head slightly leaving wet kisses all over your chest.

Pulling his pants and boxers off his erection springs free. You let yourself stare for a minute. "Like what you see mama?" Chris uses your words against you. 'mhm' you hum back, letting your hands travel down to play with his tip.

Chris is now a whimpering mess under you, bucking his hips up when you start to move your hand up and down his shaft. Sliding your shorts and panties down you go back up to his face to kiss his lips, resting your burning heat right above where you both need it the most.

"I don't have a condom" Chris tells you in-between kisses.

"Its okay" You tell him. Aligning his tip with your entrance you slowly lower yourself onto him. Wincing at the stretch, biting your lip to detract yourself. Once you bottom out on him you sit there getting used to his size. Once your ready you start to move up and down on him.

"S-shit, so t-tight" Chris keeps praising you, as you bring both of you to your climaxes.

“Fuck- I’m close” you moan out as you continue to bounce up and down on him. His hands continue to play with your nipples, only making you move faster on him.

“Me to mama, please let me cum.” He’s begging you, his words push you right over the edge making you cum on his cock.

“Inside me” You pant out, still bouncing on him riding out your own high. Soon after Chris reaches his orgasm.

“Fuck” He breathes out, overwhelmed with the feelings going on in his head right now.

You slowly slide off of him, whimpering at the empty feeling. “That. Was. Amazing” Your still catching your breath as you complement Chris, falling to his side.

“You’re amazing” Chis shoots back at you, making you blush. “Blushing now are we” He lets out a slight chuckle.

“Are we still friends?” You asking this question throws Chris off guard, causing him so sit up on his elbows.

“I don’t think we can go back to just being friends after that” He says patting your hair down, laying a soft kiss on it.

“I don’t want to” You whisper softly, sitting up to face him. His hand finds its way to your cheek, his thumb rubbing your face.

“Good because me neither” He pulls you into a kiss, soft and slow, showing you that he means what he just said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AN: hey guys, I wrote the end of this like 3 months after I started it so if it kinda changes styles that’s probably why, but I’m going to link the Matt version right here! So go read Gabs, she did so good with it! OKAY BYE LOVE YOU!!

[tanoraqui]

Dungeon Meshi Liveblog: Of Ghosts & Griffins

What do they worship? The Winged Lion, whom they mistake for a god?

.

It's so interesting how Izutsumi's cat is dominant in this place. I don't understand enough about soul magic or the spell that maintains this to know why. It FEELS right - this is a place for monsters, and that's the part of her that's a monster? But I bet there's worldbuilding that explains it...

WAIT, OR: that couple pages I reblogged with hte werewolf clearly implied that Izursumi isn't a human with a cat spirit put in her, she's a cat with a human spirit put in her. So maybe whatever enchantments shield and maintain the Golden Country bring the cat spirit to the fore as part of their preservative properties, doing their best to remove this curse upon the poor cat? Izutsumi doesn't change shape, just mind, because the souls are so mixed and/or the human soul is so much stronger than hte cat.

Who the fuck took a human soul and put it in a cat. Why would you do that I wonder if we'll ever know.

(The question of the comic is thus, of course: did Falin's soul get put inside a dragon's, in which case she'll be stuck with a dragonoid body at best, or did the dragon's get put inside Falin's, in which she should be able to shift back and forth at will once the Mage isn't forcibly holding the dragon's soul dominant?)

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This is the most hobbitly we've seen Chilchuck. I keep expecting him to start talking about how his old gaffer used to drink down at the pub.

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shadkjsh Chilchuck get your mind out of the gutter!

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These would unironically do numbers at the right Met Gala. I unironically really like the middle, floral one. And specificially the crossed-antlers brassiere on the third.

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They're dead! They're under a spell (a curse) of immortality so they can't change and they can't leave and nobody knows they exist and they can't make an impression on the world and nobody even really knows they did exist, not as individuals beyond a vague collective legend; and most of all they don't hunger, they don't want for anything in their bucolic life (except freedom or death) and they don't hunger for food, they don't eat and even if they do eat it they can't enjoy it, because they're immortal but in every single way that matters they are d e a d !

.

Alright my current theory is: this kingdom always venerated a winged lion deity, for whatever reason. Myths happen. Then one day, a demon slipped in from wherever demons slip in and disguised itself as the winged lion in order to be easily trusted by the populace. It started offering the fulfillment of desires in exchange for the consumption of other desires.

It tricked the Mage somehow, so that by their powers combined they turned the populace of this city into a feeding pen for the demon - safe and happy forever! being slowly drained of all their desires.

But as the people's desires started to run truly dry, until they were functionally dead, the demon grew hungry - and maybe greedy. So it sent the villagers this "prophetic dream" about one who would save them, motivating Delgal to get to the surface - probably with the demon's help, covert so the Mage wouldn't know; still pretending to be a god if Delgal himself knew. It let the dungeon be opened, drawing all sort of greedy and desperate people down into its feasting range.

...whatever trick/bargain it made with hte Mage, it's probably going to try to do much the same with Marcille, with her terror of loss.

:D

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P.S. I love how Yaad keeps calling him "Sir Laios" like he's a knight, instead of just some guy with good intentions who thinks monsters are neat. Also, Chilchuck literally just shaking his head at Laios.

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Needless to say, the contrast between Laios's blind panic at being told he's a prophecied hero and king and Kabru's "If I had the ability to take over this dungeon and kingdom, I'd fix absolutely everything and no one would have any problems ever again" is hilarious and wonderful.

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Laios basically just told that orc chieftain that he'd think about what he'd do as king, right? ...Well, I guess it's time for him to think about it.

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THEIR HANDS ARE COLD BECAUSE THEY ARE D E A D.

Btw in a just world, Yaad would be a woman. Princess in a Tower vibes off the charts. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

.

I'M FINALLY PAST WHERE I GOT IN THE SHOW!!

I see this translation is calling the Mad Mage "Sissel." Just as its decision to call her the "lunatic magician", I deem this to be a stupid-ass decision and have elected to ignore it in favor of "Thistle", which is a much better name for a weird elf orphan turned mad mage.

Ah, damn, they corrected to he/him pronouns. So much for women's wrongs... I STAND BY it making perfect sense in-universe for our protagonists to get it wrong from their first, confusing meeting, though!

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Takin' a moment to appreciate Thistle's fucked up pupils, which I'm given to understand indicate the demon's influence. I'm having so much fun! Are you having fun? I'm having fun.

.

...does the famous dwarvish sense of direction derive in part from secret dwarvish trail markers that they put in all dungeons and mines and never tell other species about? That's great. That's so good. They clearly do ALSO have sensitive inner ears, and secret cultural practices.

Btw I adore every time someone calls Chilchuck "Chil." NICKNAMES ARE A SIGN OF LOVE.

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SEEING SENSHI IN DISTRESS MAKES ME IN DISTRESS, AND THEN YOU DROP HIM LIKE THE FOOTBALL ON A CHAPTER CLIFFHANGER?! JAIL! JAIL FOR AUTHOR! JAIL FOR 1000 YEARS!!!

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This map is 10/10 desired detail. I want to know the difference between dwarf-style, gnome-style, compound and I bet elf-style dungeons so bad.

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Marcille just cut off one of her braids for Senshi! She didn't hesitate at all! Her hair!!!

And they're risking basically all their food on this! (Man I love how all life, including revivification and creating familiars, literally requires heavy caloric input. I love love love how this comic starts with the simple premise "food is essential to life" and says it over and over in infinite ways.)

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This is just very cool art to represent what's happening. I don't like looking at it, it makes my eye hurt.

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This visual is just so good.

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Brotp: In-Laws on a Mission

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unironically this panel fucks so hard. I need to name something after this. I also need to watch this episode just for the intense energy of this whole sequence.

(I Love how they're just squeezing and re-shaping these things like playdoh. Good familiars best friends just to tolerate this shit.)

Btw I also really like that, while Marcille has started teaching Laios some simple healing spells, that's kept clearly distinct from this sort of advanced magic. Multiclassing takes levels just like the rest!

,

TWO-SHOT KO ON A GRIFFIN! Have I mentioned how fun it is that these guys are fucking good at their jobs? We love a little competence porn on the side.

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CHILCHUCK WAS THE FIRST TO START TALKING ABOUT HIS PAST! Yes, of course, he had to be. He's the one who's most aggressively closed-off about it, as opposed to passively closed off like the rest. Mulitple good panels here fo Chilchuck being the emotionally intelligent one, too.

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oh my god Senshi's story.

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I'm so glad she keeps putting them in full-body animal suits.

(And I feel Hiromu Arakawa's cowsona in the Chili's tonight...)

.

P.S. OH, LAST MINUTE EDITION as I open the next chapter: They all changed species before they stepped in hte circle of change-your-species mushrooms!! Oh man I can't wait to see a) shenanigans and b) how this gets woven into the ongoing subplot of interspecies conflict, and any other greater themes. Fuck me uuupp Ryoko Kui! (...tomorrow, bc I have to go to bed now :( )

[vqnrouged]

HI CLOVER

Here's a Chigiri request: maybe, reader isn't that good at soccer, so they ask him to help them

So it would be like, hcs (or however you wanna write this🙏) of Chigiri helping reader to get better at soccer

𝐏𝐔𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐄

𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠: make you mine by public

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 : hyoma chigiri

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 : wishing to improve your techniques in soccer, you ask your boyfriend for help with pinpointing your weaknesses. at first he was hesitant, but your request reminded him of when you first met and he came to the conclusion that it was finally time he repaid the kindness you had once given him.

𝐚/𝐧 : i’m back from the dead, my birdies! i’ve updated my masterlists so twisted wonderland is back on there and my dunmeshi one is still there. feel free to keep requesting for those series. anyway, i’m back with a chigiri oneshot and i hope you enjoy it!

when you first asked chigiri to help you improve, he was slightly hesitant. although he can give good advice, he realizes at times his criticism or comments can sound harsher than he intends for them to be. he didn’t have to worry about this problem while in blue lock because for others it was a motivator to push their own limits, but this wasn’t blue lock. you weren’t like the people he had become friends with. you were special.

long before he had taken the leap to join blue lock in a desperate attempt to find a reason to stop playing soccer, he met you. you were in the same class as him since kindergarten, but he never really took notice of you. he was almost always focused on soccer in order to master the sport and become the best at what he loved. but, that dream came crashing down when he tore his acl.

“i’m sorry, were looking at a right acl tear. hyoma is neat, his leg muscles have developed in a special way and that distinct musculature is what makes him such an incredible sprinter. if you were to experience a tear in the same place again, i’m afraid it would be difficult for him to play soccer.”

those words echoed in chigiri’s mind since the moment they were spoken into the world. never in his dreams would this have been apart of his future, but this was his reality now. he wouldn’t be able to play the sport he loved so dearly and clung to, he was forced to sit on the side lines and merely watch as the teammates he had once looked down upon shine brighter than himself. it was painful, as much as he didn’t like to admit it.

a brisk breeze swept through the school’s soccer field, blowing the red head boys hair back and forth as he stood with his crutches, watching his team practice. the metal posts he was required to use to support himself so he could walk were more like locks and chains to him, weighing him down so he couldn’t run away. he could hear the laughter from his teammates as they passed the ball to one another, the cheers and uplifting comments buddies would give when they overcame a weakness, even the inside jokes they would make. a frown settled on his face, that should be him. he should be out there too.

from behind him a girl, who had once cheered for him, muttered quietly behind her palm to her friend who walked alongside her. “the genius isn’t looking so smart now.”

“i feel bad for him,” the friend mumbled pitifully as they passed by the field. he didn’t want or need the condolences of his classmates, but the comments still chipped away at his ego.

then suddenly, two familiar figures appeared in front of him. the big, creepy smile and the intense frown of these two people were immediately recognizable and unforgettable. the wanima brothers.

the younger brother, keisuke, inched closer to chigiri. if it was meant as an intimidation tactic, then it didn’t work on him. he stayed indifferent to the boy's attempt and simply stared at him with an unamused expression. keisuke didn’t seem to care much about his failed intimidation plan, and he still teased the red head boy. “oh hey it’s been awhile hasn’t it, mr. not-so-genius-anymore? why are you here?”

chigiri’s eyes widened as a short gasp left his mouth. why was he surprised? these were the wanima brothers, they picked on anyone they thought were weaker than them. maybe he had been held in high regard for so long he didn’t remember what it was like to be lower than someone? he wasn’t sure, but what he did know was that these two could sniff out weakness like wolves and they had definitely picked up on his. and just like clock work, keisuke continued insulting chigiri with more taunts and teases. “you can’t do that fancy running trick of yours. what are you even worth these days? i mean it all comes down to talent, right? and your talent’s a no show.”

the red head boy didn’t utter a word at keisuke’s comments, he could only keep staring in shock. the brothers didn’t waste any time once they realized they had finally struck a nail with him, and they made a quick escape back to the game. keisuke didn’t leave without one last jab, though. “well, sucks to be you, former genius!” and his older brother made an affirming grunt as they ran back onto the field.

chigiri stood there for moment, contemplating his next move. his heart was racing, whether it was from anger or anxiety, he didn’t know. he just felt like total shit.

“if it counts for anything,” a voice came from beside him. he glanced over to see a person sitting on the bench beside where he stood, it seemed like they had been sitting in that spot for a while too. they watched the field with curious and excited eyes, almost like they wanted to jump out there and play with the team too. how did he not notice them before? just as he asked himself that question, they turned to smile at him. “i still think you’re an amazing player.”

your hair and your eyes… it was definitely you! chigiri had never personally approached you before, nor did he know your name, but your features were a tell tale. you’ve been in his class for years. many, including himself, didn’t take notice of you since you always seemed to blend in with the background and not talk too much with your classmates. he didn’t blame you for that though, most people that he knew from kindergarten stayed just as loud and rowdy as they were when they were younger. it was really annoying at times.

although he was thrown off by your comment, he gave you a hardened look. “are you pitying me?” he frowned.

you still smiled at him despite his hostility. ”i wouldn’t call it that. i’m just stating the obvious.”

”i can’t even play soccer right now, how am i still an amazing player if i can’t even play my own sport?”

“i think you’re being a little too tough on yourself.” you insisted, crossing your arms over your chest. you’re really persistent, he thought.

he bit back with just as much fervor. ”you’re one to talk.” he jabbed.

you widened your eyes and turned to look at him once again. “what are you talking about?”

”you may be quiet, but i sometimes hear you in the back of class cursing yourself for not understanding certain questions.”

just as he thought your eyes couldn’t widen anymore, they did. the look on your face was priceless, you looked like a fish out of water with your jaw dropped in surprise. you turned your face away from him with an embarrassed grin. ”i thought no one could hear me this entire time…” you mumbled.

chigiri smirked triumphantly at your defeat. he was feeling somewhat alive again. it felt like it had been ages. ”i think you’re being a little too tough on yourself.”

”got my own words thrown right back at me, huh?” you couldn’t help but laugh a little at the red head boy, who finally had that charming smile present on his face. every girl in your grade seemed to fall for him because of it or because he was a “genius”, but you never appeared to see him that way. it kind of made him happy that you saw him differently and didn’t put him on a pedestal.

he held out a hand for you. “i know we’ve been in the same class for a while, but i never got to ask your name. my name’s hyoma chigiri, what’s yours?”

you kindly returned the gesture and grabbed his hand, giving it a gentle shake. “it’s [name] [last name]. nice to formally meet you, chigiri.”

from then on the two of you became far more than just friendly classmates, it blossomed into a friendship that chigiri would never forget. before, he didn’t have many friends. he only looked down upon the people around him, which left him lonely. the day he talked to you for the first time must have been fate working its magic. and a part of him knew it wasn’t just a friendly feeling he had for you, he began to love you too.

he of course knew how that story ended. after all, he was the one who confessed his feelings first, beating you to the punch. he often teased you about it, even though the event feels like it happened forever ago. even with the importance of blue lock growing as he spent time in the facility, he thought about that memory almost too often. he yearned to see you as soon as he could.

now, with the blue lock vs. u-20 match finally concluding, it was time for a break. two whole weeks of freedom! he was excited in general, but more so eager to see his family and of course, you. the moment he stepped out of the blue lock bus he was welcomed back with a tight bear hug from you along with loud exclamations of how proud you were of him. his face was flushed a bright red as his family watched your reunion, it felt surreal. his sister had given him a knowing look and in that moment he knew that this was going to be black mail.

over dinner is how he learned of your new love for playing soccer. the way you talked about it reminded him of when he was younger, how he played it for the first time and fell in love with it. your voice was filled with joy and excitement, he missed it so much. so ultimately, after his mental battle on whether he should help you practice or not, he decided he would help.

that’s how the two of you ended up on the field this morning. he dragged you out of bed earlier than you would’ve liked so you could come with him to meet up with isagi and bachira later in the day, this way you could stay out as long as you wanted with him and his friends.

chigiri was a good teacher, too. he wasn’t overbearing nor was he wordy, he got to the point with his explanations. he was also surprisingly gentle, you could tell he was holding back on his speed. the pace he kept with you certainly wasn’t his top speed, you had seen him in action many a time before and he was as fast as lighting. it was cute to you how he worried over you so much.

“i think i figured out the problem. we need to work on your dribbling,” he explained. “ i’m able to steal the ball from you easily while your making your way toward the goal. if we can fix this, then you’re gonna kick some ass on the field.”

you grinned excitedly. “i like the sound of that!”

the corner of chigiri’s lips turned up so a fond smile was present on his face. “figured you would.”

he then pointed at his own position. “now, try using the inside of your foot and stand in a protective stance.”

you adjusted your foot like he said to. it felt more comfortable already with the way you preferred to stand. from a distance chigiri could tell the new position you were in was more to your liking, and he gave you a nod of approval. “nice.”

he then moved closer to you, getting his offensive stance. “alright, now try to dribble past me.”

you raised a brow in surprise. “you sure, hyoma? you’re way faster than me, you’ll steal it in an instant.”

chigiri smirked, readying himself to dash once you started your way down the field. “i’ll go easy on you, just this once.”

you began to kick the ball down the field, feet moving with diligence just as chigiri had shown you. for a moment, you thought you were unstoppable. your technique had already improved by a mile with his advice and the thought of using your new skills with your friends had you itching for a real game. but, that joy momentary joy was cut short.

as your feet kicked the ball back and forth, you were quick to place your left foot down before passing to it with your right. normally, you would’ve made a great landing. this time, however, your foot landed on the ground in an abnormal position, causing a pain to spread through your foot. you tripped, falling to the ground, having just enough time to brace yourself before your face could collide with the ground.

chigiri’s eyes widened with an uncertain fear. he remembered the pain from so long ago, the pain that made him quit what he loved so much. he couldn’t help but shout with concern, scared of what had possibly happened to your foot or your leg. “y/n!”

you groaned in annoyance at the unfortunate turn of events. a throbbing sensation spread from your foot to your ankle, but it wasn’t enough to stop you from wanting to continue your game. you propped yourself up slowly with your hands, bringing your foot closer for inspection. luckily, there weren’t any scratches, just a little dirt. you breathed a sigh of relief.

chigiri ran over from farther down the field as fast as his legs could go, and kneeled beside you as soon as he got to you. he gently placed a hand on your leg and began to feel for injuries, his eyes searching for any visible signs like a hawk. “are you alright?” he asked.

you placed an assuring hand on his shoulder with a calm smile. “i’m fine, hyo. my foot just hit the ground in a weird way.”

chigiri looked at you with a concerned frown on his face. “you sure you’re okay?” his tone was unusually serious. you could see the slight tension in his eyes. he didn’t tend to get triggered by injuries on the field, but this time it struck a nerve. he held out his hand for you to take and took a small step back.

“yeah, i’ll be okay,” you reassured him, grabbing his hand and getting back on your feet. “just gotta get used to dribbling this way now.”

chigiri watched as you checked over your body once again for any more injuries. the breeze blew gently across the field, reminding him of those days back when the two of you were younger, when everything seemed like it was crashing down for him. but then you just so happened to appear in his life and make it brighter again.

you caught his stare and raised an eyebrow, smiling. “you’re looking at me like i’m about to shatter into a million pieces.”

he slightly smirked, putting a hand on his hip. “no, more like i’m thinking about ways to crush you.”

you chuckled, stepping back into position. “alright then, red panther. no holding back. let’s try again.”

he admired your persistence, something that had drawn him to you in the first place. just like back then, when he was stuck by that darkness known as fear; you were there. you didn’t pity him. you saw him as more than the “genius” the people around him believed he was. you gave him a new kind of happiness.

as you dribbled the ball again, with a little more confidence this time, chigiri darted forward. he was quick and precise just as he usually was, yet he was holding back enough to keep you in the game.

“almost!” he called out as he nudged the ball away with his foot. “you’re getting better.”

you groaned playfully, but the smile on your face said it all. “thanks, hyo. but i’m still no match for you.”

chigiri walked over, kicking the ball along with him before he stopped right in front of you. his eyes held a proud gleam in them as he looked into your own, a soft expression on his face. “you’ll get there soon enough. just don’t stop trying.”

you smiled softly at him. “i’ll do my best, hyoma.”

for a moment, the world seemed to slow down. his gaze softened further as he thought about how far the two of you had come, from classmates, to friends, to something more. this story called life had brought him so much pain and joy, but it had also gifted him you. he cherished the memories he had with his talents, but being with you was something he loved even more.

“i’m really glad you’re here with me,” he admitted, a rare vulnerability showing through.

you blinked in surprise at his sudden sincerity, a warmth spreading across your cheeks. “i’m glad too, hyo.”

the two of you stood there, a gentle silence settling between the two of you, the soccer field stretching out behind you under the shining sun. despite all the ups and downs, this was where chigiri had found his peace. with you.

@𝐯𝐪𝐧𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐞𝐝 - please do not translate or plagiarize my works.

[warrioreowynofrohan]

LOTR Newsletter - September 21

Today's reading is very short, a single brief sentence, but the appendices of LOTR and "The Hunt for the Ring" in Unfinished Tales have more context on what is going on in the wider world.

The appendices tell us that Gandalf is still in Rohan attempting to tame Shadowfax.

The the same time, the Ringwraiths ride north from Isengard to the Shire. Saruman's deception of them is very short-lived, as they learn that that he did not just find out the location of the Shire from Gandalf, as he claimed, but has known it for a very long time.

But first, some context about Saruman's dealings with the Shire. Another interesting part of this section is that it shows that the Bracegirdle's (Lobelia's family; that's her maiden name) and the Sackville-Bagginses are already commercially involved with Saruman. It somewhat evokes a mercantile imperialism, where a foreign power gains local allies and clients because it purchases build of their wealth, and uses that as a foundation for intel and political power. His arrival in the Shire after the War of the Ring thus does not come out of nowhere, but builds on existing ties and existing power - the "ruffians" are available for him to use as a paramilitary force because they had already been being used that way by Lotho, but were always Saruman's people.

Saruman had long taken an interest in the Shire – because Gandalf did, and he was suspicious of him; and because (again in secret imitation of Gandalf) he had taken to the ‘Halflings’ leaf’ and needed supplies, but in pride (having once scoffed at Gandalf’s use of the weed) kept this as secret as he could. Latterly other motives were added. He liked to extend his power, especially into Gandalf’s province, and he found that the money he could provide for the purchase of ‘leaf’ was giving him power, and was corrupting some of the hobbits, especially the Bracegirdles, who owned many plantations, and so also the Sackville-Bagginses. But also he had begun to feel certain that in some way the Shire was connected with the Ring in Gandalf’s mind. Why this strong guard upon it? He therefore began to collect detailed information about the Shire, its chief persons and families, its roads, and other matters. For this he used Hobbits within the Shire, in the pay of the Bracegirdles and the Sackville-Bagginses, but his agents were Men, of Dunlendish origin. When Gandalf had refused to treat with him Saruman had redoubled his efforts. The Rangers were suspicious, but did not actually refuse entry to the servants of Saruman – for Gandalf was not at liberty to warn them, and when he had gone off to Isengard Saruman was still recognized as an ally.

So, Saruman already has agents going back and forth between Rivendell and the Shire. The Ringwraiths overtake one of those agents.

When the Black Riders were far across Enedwaith and drawing near at last to Tharbad, they had what was for then a great stroke of good fortune, but disastrous for Saruman, and deadly perilous for Frodo. Some while ago one of Saruman’s most trusted servants (yet a ruffianly fellow, an outlaw driven from Dunland, where many said that he had Orc-blood) had returned from the borders of the Shire, where he had been negotiating for the purchase of ‘leaf’ and other supplies. Saruman was beginning to store Isengard against war. This man was now on his way back to continue the business, and to arrange for the transport of many goods before autumn failed. [Footnote: The usual way was by the crossing of Tharbad to Dunland (rather than direct to Isengard), whence goods were sent more secretly to Saruman.] He had orders also to get into the Shire if possible and learn if there had been any departures of persons well-known recently. He was well supplied with maps, lists of names, and notes concerning the Shire. This Dunlending was overtaken by several of the Black Riders as they approached the Tharbad crossing. In an extremity of terror he was haled to the Witch-king and questioned. He saved his life by betraying Saruman. The Witch-king thus learned that Saruman knew well all along where the Shire was, and knew much about it, which he could and should have told to Sauron’s servants if he had been a true ally. The Witch-king also obtained much information, including some about the only name that interested him: Baggins.  It was for this reason that Hobbiton was singled out as one of the points for immediate visit and enquiry. The Witch-king had now a clearer understanding of the matter. He had known something of the country long ago, in his wars with the Dúnedain, and especially of the Tyrn Gorthad of Cardolan, now the Barrow-downs, whose evil wights had been sent there by himself. Seeing that his Master suspected some move between the Shire and Rivendell, he saw also that Bree (the position of which he knew) would be an important point, at least for information. [Note from Christopher Tolkien: Since the Black Captain knew so much, it is perhaps strange that the had so little idea of where the Shire, the land of the Halflings, lay; according to the Tale of Years there were already Hobbits settled in Bree at the beginning of the Third Age, when the Witch-king came north to Angmar.] He put therefore the Shadow of Fear on the Dunlending, and sent him to Bree as an agent. He was the squint-eyed southerner at the Inn.

This clarifies a lot of the later events in the first half of The Fellowship of the Ring. The southerner at Bree who is staying with Bill Ferny doesn't have immediately obvious significance in the book. How could he be a spy of Sauron, when Sauron has only just learned the location the Shire and has no presence in northwest Middle-earth? But if he was a spy of Saruman, why would he be helping the Ringwraiths? This passage solves the mystery - and shows how much Tolkien had plotted out even events that are completely left out of the book - by placing him as an agent of Saruman who had been captured and subverted by the Ringwraiths. Which also explains how the Ringwraiths knew to go to Hobbiton in particular, and how they knew where Hobbiton was. And they also learned that Frodo Baggins was moving out of Hobbiton.

If LOTR was a TV show and we were seeing all this happening simultaneous, this would be an intensely suspenseful part of the show, with the Ringwraiths on their way north, knowing where Frodo is, and Frodo still waiting at Bag End for Gandalf and not knowing that there any immediate urgency.

[khvlani]

alex cabot as a sapphic in law school

***********

when alex was in law school, she started to feel butterflies when talking about or with women which confused her. it took her quite some time to realize that having feelings for women can be normal.

on her third year of law school, she meets a freshman through a buddy-buddy system. she is tasked to try to help and guide her as a new student. alex does as told and ends up spending a lot of time working with this girl. overtime, she’s grown attached to her. alex would often sacrifice her alone time just to spend time studying with the freshman.

she loved spending time with the new girl. not only did alex help her but the other girl seemed to have helped the blonde as well, especially with her insomnia and anxiety. alex found comfort in her. during the new girl’s work hours (she’s doing part time to provide for herself as well), alex would often visit and spend hours reading and studying in the cafe. though, most of the time, she was there to admire the new girl.

for alex, she was a breath of fresh air. she was beautiful, smart, and kind. she could be a bit aggressive and clumsy but alex found these traits interesting and enjoyable. she was passionate about law, and she always had the goal of helping people and alex loved that about her. alex loved the idea that smiling and laughing felt so easy and so simple when she was with the girl.

alex understood that she was falling for the new girl.

overtime, the blonde has come up with ways to discreetly express her love for the other woman. when they study late nights, she would order the other woman’s favorite food to ease her stress. during a big test or an exam, alex would stick little notes filled with motivational sentences in between pages of her book which made the other woman happy.

alex has thought of confessing her feelings for the other woman but she was scared to lose the person she has grown attached to. so she kept on with expressing her love in small simple ways. she learned to repress her feelings for the other girl who overtime started to mirror the things alex did for her.

as time passed on, alex had thought the girl felt the same, considering how at this point, not only do they share gifts, and other things, but they would flirt with each other back and forth. constantly smiling and being heart eyes for each other. this gave alex hope.

alex walked around the campus one day, optimistic, hopeful to see the other woman, and maybe this time, confess her feelings. she felt a smile creep up her face as she sees the other girl with a big smile on her face. maybe this was the right time. the other girl was excited to see alex, rushing towards her to give her a hug.

“alex you will never believe what happened today!” alex was smiling at the thought that the girl she had a crush on, had the biggest smile on her face too. she loved seeing her happy. “what?” she asked, matching her tone.

“my boyfriend, charlie, he proposed to me!” the redhead revealed showing her hand with the ring on it.

alex felt her world fall apart. she could’ve sworn the redhead was single. the thought of a boyfriend, now fiance, never came up in the months they’ve spent time together.

“that’s amazing, case! i’m so happy for you!”

[mvltisstuff]

Hi! i was wondering if i could do an eddie request. if so can you do one where him and the reader have been friends he joined the 118 (she’d been there a bit longer and helped him get comfortable). they always flirted but because of prior relationships, they never moved to level up the relationship. it takes chris (who loves the reader) to encourage him to ask her out.

how you get the girl - e.d

summary: request :)

eddie diaz x reader

a/n: i have yet to write for eddie so i hope this is good :) this idea is so cute 🥲

since the very start of eddie’s probationary period at the 118, y/n had been there as a leader for him. she led him everywhere, as it can be incredibly overwhelming starting at a new work environment. especially having buck on his back the first few days.

both immediately clicked on the first day he arrived. if she’s being honest, watching a powerful, and definitely hot new person come into the firehouse. whenever he needed help during the first few shifts, y/n was right behind him to be his guide. having to deal with his son and even adjusting to a new place himself was scary, and y/n was able to wash away his anxiety.

the policy of dating between firefighters was strict and surely made clear, and their rule-following personalities is what kept them even further apart.

after shannon had passed away, it took eddie a while to go back to his normal world. it felt like things had been shattered, christopher was happy and so was he. even when she asked for a divorce, if it mean chris was happy, so be it. eddie was the most selfless person y/n knew, and that’s what she admired most about him. watching him deal with every causality and call with nothing but care and respect created a new love for him, and it grew more every day.

there was no denying eddie felt the same exact way. he knew y/n has also had a rocky past with her exes, and he never would want to disturb the peace she has made with herself as he is well aware of the strength it took. her resilience and patience with him made him feel safe and loved every day at work. the way she cared for christopher and the way he lit up when she was around made his heart swell. he absolutely adored her, but both of their pasts had achieved in making them frightened to admit.

watching y/n walk in every single day with a motivating smile on her face was the highlight of eddie’s day. she was beautiful, too. her hair was always done neatly, no matter what. even if she was covered in ash or dirt, she still shines through it. her smile was like a thousand fireflies and her laugh was music to his ears.

they had both had their fair share of teasing from other people. buck, carla, chimney and hen, and even his own son had joined in on the fun. they pestered them about when they’d end up in between the sheets, and how long they would last before their true feelings about each other came out.

the one thing that gave eddie hope was how christopher felt. he absolutely looked up to her in the best way, and she treated him like her own. she gently speaks to him in a sweet voice and treats him with nothing but respect, like she would any adult.

they admit all the time that they flirt constantly. passing little comments about each other back and forth. for how smart they are, it shocks everyone else that they are so oblivious to each others feelings. and it drives them up a wall. making bets as to when they’d get together, and taking guesses as to when one of them would crack under the pressure.

as eddie had set the table, carla had prepared another home cooked meal for the father and son. christopher, as much as he loves his dad, cannot stand his cooking, so carla certainly does most. sometimes y/n will stop by to help carla make dinner, saying hello to christopher and spending as much time as she can with eddie, trying not to make it noticeable.

they all sit around the table, devouring the delicious meal carla had served to them. “so, eddie,” carla starts with a small smirk growing on her face. “where is miss y/n tonight?”

“she had a few things to finish up at work, so her shift ended later than mine did,” eddie tells him before christopher interrupts.

“you should take her out to dinner,” he suggests. “to a restaurant, don’t make her something.”

carla and eddie share a laugh before he questions christopher. “and what makes you say that? you don’t think she’d be impressed?”

“oh, honey, i think she’d flee the country,” carla laughs, earning a loud chuckle from christopher.

“alright, fine. i could take her out, but why?”

“because…” chris begins.

“because?” eddie and carla repeat after him.

“she likes you a lot, dad!” christopher exclaims like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“you got a smart kid there, eddie.”

eddie didn’t really know how to respond as he wanted to completely come clean with them, but also wanting to keep his cool. the thought of him and y/n, alone, out to dinner is honestly a dream, but it also makes him nervous because he would definitely not be able to contain his feelings about her then.

“you- you think so, chris?”

“i know so, dad. even buck told me he knows,” eddie gives him a confused look.

“why is buck talking about that?” he says, under his breath.

“i think we all know so,” carla says. “don’t think you’re good at hiding, i wouldn’t boost your ego that much.”

“what do you mean? y/n and i are very close friends, she helps me a lot,” eddie tries to cool down the topic that has risen over dinner.

“only love can make you that bad at covering something up, honey.” carla tells him with a pat to his shoulder.

the next day at work, eddie walks in with his head up after a night of barely any sleep. he thought that if anyone he needed approval from, it was the most important person in his life. and he had gotten that. the only person left was y/n herself. confidence was running through his veins, and he knew he had to ask now before he chickened out again.

he spotted y/n, already in uniform with two french braids running down the crown of her head. a breath was sucked from his mouth as he looked at her, laughing at the playful bickering from hen and chim. music to his ears, the laughing, of course. the fighting was practically white noise at this point.

“y/n! hey!” he says, jogging up to her with his bag thumping behind him.

“hi, eddie!” she replies back, another glowing smile even bigger than before grows on her face. “what’s u-“

“do you wanna grab dinner after todays shift? i heard of a really nice restaurant downtown.” he says abruptly, and she would be lying if she said it hadn’t startled her a bit.

“u-um, sure? what time?”

“get there at 5:30?” eddie says, almost sounding like he’s out of breath.

“okay…” she says slowly as eddie runs off again to the locker rooms to get dressed. y/n turns around, walking back over to the trucks and begins polishing the sides.

the grin on her face is almost painful as she can’t conceal it anymore. it does not go unnoticed by the rest of the team, as buck and bobby make their way downstairs.

“what’s she so thrilled about this morning?” bobby asks and gives her a side eye.

“diaz.” hen and chimney say at the same exact time.

y/n stands in her apartment with some of her girlfriends standing around. she invited hen, athena, and maddie over and athena had also brought may over.

“do you think this is ok?” y/n asks, holding up a skirt. “or maybe i should just grab some jeans, do you think he’d like that? he said a nice place, so maybe a dress or-“

“ok, relax,” athena says. “take a breath. i’m sure he’ll be head over heels if you were in sweatpants.” y/n smiles at herself in the mirror as may shuffles through her closet.

“you could do this!” she says, holding up a navy blue dress that fell mid thigh, with thin straps and a cross in the back. “did you forget about this baby or something? this is perfect! you’d look so hot in this, y/n, he’d probably transfer.”

“well, i don’t think that is the goal tonight sweetie,” athena says, pulling may in to have a seat. “i think it’s perfect too, it’s sexy, but not too much.”

“20 says he’s speechless,” maddie says.

“40 says he faints,” hen jokes back.

y/n exits to try it on, and comes out of the bathroom with a face of light makeup, but not too much. she pulled her hair down with some loose curls in it, hopefully something different from the average up-do for work.

“oh, my god!” may exclaims. “am i a beauty icon or what?”

“may, i have everything to thank you for this!” y/n says, slipping on a pair of heels and grabbing her purse. “it’s getting late, so i’m going to go, thank you for coming and if you guys need anything-“

“go! get out of here!” maddie yells. “he’s probably waiting for you!”

y/n scurries out of the apartment building and into her car, playing some music to get her feeling confidence for tonight. she’s worried her heart might burst out of her chest and break her ribs from how anxious she is. if tonight goes well, she might throw a party in her honor.

when y/n arrives, eddie had already been there. he was dressed in a casual suit, with a few of the buttons undone. the second he saw y/n walk up to the waitress at the front, and say she’s here for eddie, hearing his name making him shake a little.

when y/n is finally directed to the table, eddie stands up and walks over to her. he’s praying he’s not about to fall over right in front of her, because of how breathtaking she looks.

y/n, looking right at him, feels identical. she takes one glance at him and suddenly her eyes are glued there. the breath that she’s been harvesting is let out, and she walks over to get closer to him.

“y-you look,” eddie starts, looking at her figure up and down as she suddenly feels like all the lights in the world are on her. “stunning. wow, uh..”

“you look hot, eddie,” she spits out, not even thinking about her words. “or, amazing! you look amazing! sorry, that was really forward but uh-“

“it’s ok,” eddie laughs and smiles and he appears content, but his heartbeat is clear in his own ears. “i, uh, hope this isn’t too fancy for you.”

“no, it’s perfect! just weird seeing each other in such a, clean? place,” she says. “i mean we’re surrounded by tragedy every day, so.”

“that’s true,” eddie replies. once they order their food, they spend the whole night laughing, and forgetting about their worries and stubbornness. they exchange stories from when they were younger, and eddie shares funny things about chris which y/n absolutely adores.

after the night goes on, they both sit back and don’t know where to go. they could take this opportunity to change everything that they have, or ruin a perfect relationship because they thought they were too greedy for more.

standing outside, they both wait, the upset settling in that the night is over. they start mocking some of the rich people that were sitting next to them who demanded everything be perfect for them, but ultimately land just sighing and standing in silence.

“i had a really great night, eddie. thank you,” y/n says.

“it was really no problem, i had a perfect night, too,” he tells her back.

“i think there’s something we need to talk about, though.”

eddie’s heart drops a bit, as she might be completely dropping their friendship. he fears the worst, but allows her to continue.

“this friendship between us has opened to many doors for me, and you have taught me so much,” she begins, carefully as eddie gets more nervous for the result. “but i cannot keep doing this if i keep pretending i’m not in love with you, eddie.”

he stops for a minute, taking a step back and having to bring himself together. “you’re in love with me?” he says, barely above a whisper. y/n nervously nods back and he lets out a relieved laugh. she immediately turns red, worried it’s a mocking laugh and that he’s about to tell her he’s crazy.

“shit, sorry,” she starts to apologize, “i didn’t wanna mess things up but i couldn’t hide anymore and i haven’t felt this way about someone and i, oh god, i’m so sorry-“

eddie moves in to cut her off. his hand lands on the dip of her waist and pulls her in. he brushes a piece of her hair away behind her ear and lands a passionate kiss on her lips, trying to calm her nerves. “you have nothing to be sorry for, y/n.” he says and she pulls him back in, grabbing the back of his neck and planting a deep kiss. their sweet kiss turns into a heated make out in front of this fancy restaurant. they stay there for a few minutes, before they pull away and smile at each other, brightly.

“i’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

“of course, eddie,” y/n says back with a gentle grin as she turns around and walks back to her car. eddie makes his way back around, quietly cheering himself on for finally landing the girl he’s been thinking about for months.

[w1shes43]

Forbidden Proximity

- (TMR) Newt x reader

Summary: Takes place in "The Fever Code", before an examination test, you meet the beloved Newt. After meeting him, things start to be different and someone warned you to watch your proximity. But you think you're doing just the opposite.

Taglist: @heliads

A/N: AHHH, IT'S FINALLY FINISHED!! This fic took me so long. Motivation came and left like 1000 times. Sorry about that, and here it is!! Also, let's just imagine that newt is not like a minor here and is his movie age ;_; The ending is a bit rushed as I just wanted to get this fic finished tbh.

----☆----

Wake up, examinations and tests, eat food, maybe add a hint of some learning and then sleep. And it's repeating the same routine every day, over and over again. It's been like this for you ever since you got taken in this facility called W.I.C.K.E.D. They're not so harsh towards you but you saw and heard from others of what they can be like when they're angry so you usually do what you're told to be on their good side.

But life in this facility is very repetitive and dull so you always opt to do something fun once in a while, being extremely discreet of course. Whether it's going to see your friends in their rooms during night or sneaking to catch a look at the other group, Group A. You have to admit you don't know why you all have to be separated into different groups, maybe they don't want certain people interacting with each other? You found the question lingering in your mind for a while, so you plan to ask at your next examination, which is tomorrow, that very question.

You sat on your bed, waiting in your room for Dr. Paige to do some tests on you, observing around your room trying to pass time. You always seem to land on the clock. Time ticking like usual, you wondered how the clock can be so perfectly timed to the real time, but then again just another question to add to your pile.

"Questions and questions" you sighed, looking down at your feet, swinging them back and forth. You realised you were getting taller which makes you glad because Harriet used to tease you about your height, saying how you won't be able to reach anything. Guess you could prove her wrong now, you slightly chuckled at that.

The door opens and you look up thinking you were going to see Dr. Paige but instead a tall lady with round glasses. She had a firm look on her face as she approached you,

"Y/N, Dr. Paige is quite busy for a while so she won't be able to do your test right now."

She stated, looking at her clipboard which had some files on it, "She will do your examination in about half an hour. Please come with me to another test room."

You nodded as you got up from the bed to follow her out the door. She shut the door and you walked beside her as she brought you to the elevator and pressed a few buttons, you waited for about a minute and the doors opened to the 2nd floor. She ushered you to walk beside her as you looked around the 2nd floor, you've only been here once before and that was the first time you got examined.

You followed her into the first room on your right, and she told you to sit down and that she would inform you when Dr. Paige was here. As she left, you looked around the room and noticed that there was a blonde haired boy on the other side of the room, he had his head in his hands and he seemed to be the same age as you. You assumed both of you were here for tests.

You walked over to him and sat down on the empty chair beside him, the sound of the chair made him look up and he met your eyes.

"Oh hello there." The blonde smiled, you noticed he sounded a bit different, he definitely had an accent, not that you minded though it sounded nice. "You here for an examination too?"

You nodded and smiled back, "Yeah I am, how long have you been waiting here?" You asked, curious to talk to this boy.

"Probably been waiting for about 10 minutes?" He said, stretching his arms "I'm not really counting the time to be honest with ya, just waiting for this to be done and over with. So I can go and hang with my mates."

You raised an eyebrow, "Mates? What do you mean by that?"

"I mean my friends," he laughed, but then leaned in to whisper "We all usually hang out after our tests, obviously wicked doesn't know that, so keep it a secret for me and you could join us too." The blonde boy winked as he whispered the last part.

You chuckled, a corner of your lips developing a small smile. "Don't worry, your secrets are safe with me. And I didn't catch your name?"

"Name's Newt, pleased to meet you.. ?"

His sentence trailing off at the end in hopes of getting your name.

But before you could answer his last statement, the door swung open and you were greeted by two people, Dr. Paige and the other lady from earlier. They looked at the both of you and nodded to you, Dr. Paige calling your name as she was about to take your examination.

You nodded back to her and stood up from your chair, turning to Newt before you approached them, "Y/N. Pleased to meet you too." You smiled and waved at him as you followed behind Dr. Paige.

Your walk back to your room was silent, you usually would talk to Dr. Paige about a lot of things, how you were doing with learning and food or something along the lines of vital sign check ups. But this time you were silent, smiling to yourself as you thought about your encounter with the blonde boy, Newt was his name. Well not his actual name, as you knew they gave everyone different names but you thought it suited him, it was an oddly interesting name. To be honest you thought he was pretty cute too, you haven't talked to a boy your age since forever, before you even came to this place.

Smiling away to yourself must have caught Dr. Paige's attention as she talked to you as you both turned the hallway, heading to your room.

"Something on your mind Y/N? You look rather happy there." She spoke as she opened the door to your room, holding the door open so you could walk inside.

As you entered the room you sat on your bed, nodding to Dr. Paige's last statement.

She took a seat in front of you and got ready the equipment for your tests.

"Yeah I would say so, although I have a weird feeling in my stomach when I think about this certain … thing." You admitted, looking down at your feet and watching them swing back and forth again.

"Weird feeling in your stomach about a certain topic you say? Is this very recent or has this been happening for a while?" As she questioned you, she got ready the syringe for your injection and you took that as a sign to roll up your sleeve on your left arm.

"Quite recent. Actually right before you came to the room on the second floor."

She stopped and gave you a look.

"It's about Newt isn't it? That boy you met there?" She asked and her thoughts were confirmed when you looked at her and nodded. She sighed, "Y/N, that weird feeling you are talking about is called attraction or well starting out as a liking. We are specifically trying to prevent this though, it might interfere with your progress in tests. So please try not to think about him or even try to see him for that matter."

Dr. Paige had this firm look on her face, the one you heard about when Wicked employees got angry, you definitely didn't want to aggravate her even more but you still had to ask one more question, a very risky one considering the topic of the conversation.

"Dr. Paige, why do we have different groups, like why do you have to separate all of us?"

You looked at her eager for her answer as it could explain things. But she just pinched the bridge of her nose as she let out an annoyed sigh and with a sharp tone dodged your question.

"Y/N, enough questions. Remember you are here for one reason and that's to save the world. Everything we do is for your own good, be grateful you are even alive after what's going on out there." She snapped and looked you dead in the eyes.

Your eyes widened, you were stunned, Dr. Paige never raised her voice at you before. What was so wrong about the question you asked? You just wanted to understand their ways of running things, surely that's not a bad question but you assumed it was since she yelled at you.

She swiftly injected the needle into your arm, taking a blood sample for your test. And quickly put it into a plastic bag and sealed it inside another bag.

She turned around and headed for the door,

"I'll have some food delivered to your room so no need to go to the cafeteria for lunch. Remember Y/N, you're here to save the world, not question how things are."

And without another spoken word, she left and closed the door to your room.

You just stared at the closed door, pondering on what she said. You've always heard those words before 'Save the world.' How though? And wouldn't it be easier to save the world if we understood what's going on inside and outside? You scrunch your hair in annoyance and lay your head in your hands and thought for a bit.

You know what?

You were going to see Newt again.

But you have to think of a discreet way to meet up with him. How in the world are you even going to find him?

You could try and go back to that waiting room you were in earlier but chances are he's already gone and done his examination.

You usually catch a look at Group A, but that's through the vents and you don't really know your way around there as well as Harriet or someone else in your group.

As you try to think of ways to find him, your thoughts are interrupted when someone knocks on your door, it opens and it is one of your great friends, Harriet. You both smile and run for a hug, "How did your examination go?" Harriet asked, pulling away from the hug.

"I don't know what to think, I just hope I haven't angered Dr. Paige. But before the examination I was in a room and there was a boy there." You explained the whole thing, from meeting the boy Newt and to asking Dr. Paige about the 2 groups.

And this conversation led to Harriet coming up with a plan to sneak you into one of Group A's testing rooms in hopes of finding and meeting someone from the other group, or even better Newt.

She would start off by going to get some "lunch" and while doing that she would distract the guards so you could sneak into Group A's testing rooms. But you had to watch out for other employees that might leave the rooms and also cameras. But you would check every room and see if Newt is there.

Hiding behind corners and dodging employees wasn't easy, you were suprised that you even got this far. You looked around, no one. The employees may have taken a break or something, not that you minded, it made this a whole lot easier for you, less hiding.

...

"Well, hello there." A voice from behind you spoke. You jumped at the sudden sound, swiftly turning to see who had spoken and you had hoped that it wasn't Dr. Paige or any of the employees for that matter.

To your suprise, you were met with honey brown eyes, the same eyes of the boy you were looking for. At least you didn't have to look too far to find him.

"I thought I'd see you again, just didn't expect it to be so soon?" He raised a brow, inspecting you. But before he could ask any further questions, you pulled him into a nearby room.

"Okay before you ask anything, I need to make sure this room is safe before we get caught being somewhere we're not supposed to be." You explained, closing the door quickly and glancing around the room.

"Technically, you're not supposed to be here, but here we are." He smirked while you just rolled your eyes, he continued, "I mean, I'm not complaining and I think this room will be perfectly safe, considering that it's my room." He chuckled, and when you turned around with wide eyes, he just smiled.

"Well," you started, "I thought about your offer to join you and your friends and I gladly will." You smiled softly, but your smile grew even wider when you saw how the boy in front of you had a slight red face with another smile.

"You did all that effort to tell me this? You seem very dedicated Y/N."

Oh, you have no idea, you thought.

You spent what felt like hours with him, laughing along and chatting about anything under the sun. Even hearing a bit of his past but you didn't want to pry too much into it.

Your first meeting with Group A went quite well you would think, you quickly made friends with most them of them and even if Gally and Minho were quite skeptical of you at first, they warmed up to you eventually and even shared a couple of their jokes with you.

But as quickly as you made friends with them, the quicker your relationship with Newt grew to be stronger and you had hoped, he felt the same as you. Days turn into weeks and your time spent with him made your whole life better even if you weren't supposed to be of close proximity to him.

But as good things come, they always have to go. You found yourself running through the long bright lit corridors of the wicked facility.

Hoping to get there in time.

Hoping to get that one last chance.

Hoping you weren't too late.

With tear filled eyes, you start remembering the one memory you hoped would never leave you - Newt's confession.

One day, he pulled you aside when you were about to sneak out to go see all your friends.

He softly took your hands and placed them in his own.

"Um.. I don't know if you felt the same, but it did take me a while to realise it wasn't just some weird feeling I had about you, you made me feel like I could trust you, I felt..."

He scrunched his eyes in search of the right words to tell you, "Comfortable around you and safe, mainly safe. My point being, I like you. A lot, in fact, I can't really fathom why my brain works that way, but I hope you understand what I mean." His hope filled eyes begged you, not moving his worried scene that danced around his face.

You thought it was adorable and were quick to calm his worrying thoughts.

"Yes, I understand what you mean," you said with a laugh. "I feel the same way Newt."

How did wicked find out? But then again, they always are monitoring you. They always find out, or maybe they always knew.

Maybe you should have seen this coming.

But nothing always goes your way, you were aware of the Maze, they started sending your friends into one, a few weeks ago.

You were quickly made aware by some of your friends that they were going to send Newt into one. And not at the usual time he was supposed to go in. He was supposed to go a few weeks after.

You ran to the one place you knew you would find him before it would be too late. The hideout.

When you entered, you found him pacing around the room. He heard your footsteps and looked up and locked his dark eyes with you.

Just by looking at him, without even saying anything, you knew what he was thinking, and you wanted to save him from all this.

"Don't leave, why can't you just stay here?" You pleaded with him, grabbing his hands to curl them up into yours. "We could leave, run away right now, or even -"

He pulled you into a hug, wrapping his arms around your waist and hugging you like you're his source of life. You went silent and returned the hug. It was quiet for a good while, and you felt as if the white noise could swallow you both whole until Newt spoke.

"I want you to know that even if I die, or something happens and I might never see you again," his breath hitched in his throat, eyes dreading even the thought of it, "Nothing would ever make me forget you. I would go to the ends of the earth just to do this all over again if it meant being by your side, being here with you is the best thing that has ever happened to me."

Tears that have flowed down his cheeks have now dripped onto the cold floor. The same room, same building that you first met, the sweet hearted boy. Even if you didn't know what would happen next, you knew for certain you loved him.

You knew you were never meant to be near him in the first place, but you did just the opposite.

"I'll love you forever and always."

He wiped the oncoming tears from your eyes with his thumb and smiled. You wish you could just capture this moment and stay with him forever.

The doors opened, and your warm hands quickly became cold as the warmth from him slowly drifted away from you.

[kit04kat]

Ranking the batfamily most to least likely to become a supervillian. (Plus all my ramblings about why I put who where [disclaimer, i have not read the comics due to me not having that kind of money]) I started thinking about this while reading a fanfiction where Dick, Jason and Tim were taken in by villians instead of Batman and it got me thinking. Anyways, let's get to the rankings.

1: Tim Drake. Starting off strong with our resident boy-genius with stalker tendencies. This may shock some of you, but I look at this human disaster and see a plethora of supervillian potential. You take away this man's adult supervision and the world may never be the same. What was happening with the league of assassins? And the fact that he tried to clone his best friend out of grief? Also I feel like we all skimmed over the fake uncle shenanigans too quickly. I once saw someone say something like Tim's moral code is copy-pasted off a house rules sticky note on the fridge and I agree.

2: Jason Todd. Seriously, we all saw this coming. Now, you might ask me, "but Kat, why is Jason at number 2? Didn't Red Hood already do the villian thing?" And to that I say, Ha! I am ranking them on supervillianiousness(???) Jason had his whole revenge plot and crime lord thing in Gotham but after that was done, he kinda settled out a little bit. So no, I don't think Jason has ever been a supervillian, just a villian, and after that he was more like an antihero/vigilante. That being said, I don't think he is incapable of being a supervillian, which is why he is number 2.

3: Stephanie Brown. Ok, I'm gonna be honest, I was really wavering on the order of the people in the middle. Also, I'm not gonna claim to know a whole lot about the adventures Steph has been through. That being said, I feel like she is just a tad bit more unhinged than the rest of the people in the middle, and therefore more likely to go insane. And if she had the proper motivation, she could totally be a badass supervillian. (Kind of reminds me of Jason in that way)

4: Damian Wayne. Alright, here's the thing. A lot of Damian's character development has been about him overcoming his heritage and learning that the things he learned with the league of assassins were bad. That being said, I don't think he will ever leave behind those ideologies as thoroughly as Cass and Bruce did. I think he sees the world in a lot more shades of grey than they ever will, and because of that, I've decided to put him forth on our list.

5: Barbara Gordon. I'm putting Oracle right smack dab in the middle. Not because I couldn't figure out where to put her, but because that's where she belongs. Listen, do I think she would ever become a supervillian? No, not really. However, if for some reason she had to become a supervillian, she'd be able to do it. If she ever turned to the dark side, it would be completely thought out. Calculated. And my girl doesn't do anything half-assed.

6: Duke Thomas. Now, Imma be honest, I don't know a whole lot about Duke, and I didn't really know where the best place to put his would be on this lineup. I put him in 6th cause I don't think he'd turn into a supervillian but he's more likely than the last three. He probably deserves to go further up the list, but oh well.

7: Bruce Wayne. I know some people will probably say he should be further up the list, but here is my reasoning. Batman's whole kinda thing is that he's always toeing the line. He's doesn't kill because he knows he wouldn't be able to stop. He is Darkness, Vengeance, the night, all that stuff. (It's why Batman needs a Robin) If he broke, he'd be broken. I don't think he'd be able to come back from that (I also disagree with myself a bit, cause there's no way his kill count is 0. I mean, he's been beating people up at night instead of therapy for decades) Anyways, that being said, man is stubborn and has been doing this vigilante stuff for a longggg time. I simply don't think he's gonna turn.

8: Dick Grayson. We are getting towards the bottom of the list here, to the people I think are least likely to become a supervillian. Dick has been through so much. With Renegade, Red X, Spiral, whatever was up with Ric, he took up the cowel and became Batman when Bruce was gone (which is something he never wanted to do), he's had so many of his friends die, family die, and that's not even all! He's been through a lot, but he's also the light to batman's dark. He's been through all that and still chooses to be good. There's no way he's ever becoming a supervillian (even if it is a very interesting plot in fanfiction)

9: Cassandra Cain. Last but certainly not least, Cass. I personally think she is the least likely to become a supervillian. She was raised as a weapon and taught to kill, but she has completely overcome that. She won't kill at all, much like Bruce, but she's also more emotionally sound. Her morals are strict, and she doesn't have to fight with herself to keep them. I love her so much, truly one of the best of us.

I'm gonna put Alfred as a honorable mention. He doesn't get to go on the list cause honestly, if he ever became a villian, it's over. He's have the world in his clutches before the week is over. Gotta respect him for having the patience of a saint.

This was so long! Anyways, feel free to add to this or tell me how you would rank them differently!!

[kingofpopmj]

Conscious Decision

Part 3

July 15th, 1988

*Y/N’s POV*

Katherine and I spent the day together exploring London. She suggested we do some shopping before having lunch. Of course the moment she pulled me into a bridal boutique I knew she had an ulterior motive.

“This would look stunning on you!” Katherine complimented as she pointed out the gown on display.

“Mama Kay, that’s a wedding dress.”

“You should try it on.” She cheered. “It’ll be fun!”

“It’s beautiful but I think I’m going to pass on that.” I laughed off her comment.

“Michael was looking for you last night. He did not buy the jet lagged excuse.”

“Well, I’ll see him tonight.” I said as I guided her towards the exit.

“He fired Tatiana.” She said nonchalantly.

“What?”

“She’s a sweet girl but her crush on Michael was getting out of hand. My poor boy was so embarrassed. He had no idea she would do that.”

“Is he okay?”

“I think seeing his best friend would have helped.”

“Oh you’re making me feel bad on purpose!”

“You’re always the first person he runs to when something goes wrong. Yesterday, however, was the first time you weren’t there. It did a real number on him.”

“I’m sure he’s fine.”

“My boy is experiencing the beginning stages of losing the woman he loves. He is in no way shape or form fine.”

“He doesn’t love me in that way and he’s not losing me. I just needed a break to be alone and avoid any further damage to our friendship. I didn’t mean for my actions to come off as selfish. I’m sorry.”

“Here we go again with all the friendship hoopla.” Katherine rolled her eyes shaking her head. “You are not just friends—”

“We almost kissed. On opening night.” I blurted out. “He ran away from me and hid from everyone.”

“Oh, I see.”

“That’s why I said I think we were wrong.”

“I’m never wrong.” She said sternly ignoring my confession. I couldn’t help but laugh at her stubbornness.

“Y/N! There you are!” Michael shouted standing from his make-up chair. “Finally!”

“Your mom and I had a girls day.” I smiled hugging him. He kindly asked for the room and his entourage dispersed.

“How is the jet lag?” He asked suspiciously.

“I’m fine. I just need some rest.”

“You didn’t even stay for our after show ritual.”

“Michael—”

“It’s tradition!” He spoke over me. “Why did you leave?”

“I didn’t feel well.” It was partly true. He continued to study my demeanor.

“Tatiana.” He stated. “I didn’t— she wasn’t supposed to do that. I’ve never been so humiliated in my life.”

“I’m really sorry that happened. You didn’t deserve it.”

“You know... every love song I write is about you.” He muttered.

“What?” I stared at him but he didn’t repeat himself. He closed the gap between us pulling me into his chest.

Each time the wind blows

I hear your voice so

I call your name

Whispers at morning

Our love is dawning

Heaven's glad you came

You know how I feel

This thing can't go wrong

I'm so proud to say I love you

Your love's got me high

I long to get by

This time is forever

Love is the answer

Michael softly sung into my ear as he swayed us back and forth. He held me for a moment longer before leaving a lingering kiss on my temple.

“Michael?” I spoke gently.

“I have to finish getting ready. Can you help with my hair? You’re the only one that does it the way I like.” He smiled pulling me across the room to his vanity.

I watched him as he excitedly gathered all the tools and products I would need. Every time I think we’re on the same page he throws a curveball. It makes it even worse that he just changes the subject as if nothing happened. As I began styling Michael’s hair my mind drifted off to how he makes me feel. When he holds me like that it’s impossible to hide my emotions. Michael is my home. When he holds me I feel complete. He’s the only person I truly feel safe with.

“I love hearing you sing.” I said as I fixed his hair.

“Thank you.”

“I love that song. It’s really beautiful.”

“It’s one of my favorites. It’s like it was in my head my whole life and all I needed to do was write it down.” he met my gaze through the mirror. “It’s inspiring being in love.”

“In love?” I broke our eye contact and tried to focus on his hair. “That’s sweet.”

“Are you in love?”

“Michael—”

“Because I think you are.” He turned to me placing his hands on my hips. “Please tell me that you are.” He stared at me expectantly as he rises from his seat.

Here we are again.

Our chests became connected as I felt his fingers slip under the hem of my shirt leaving a strong tingling feeling along my hips. We were admiring each other’s lips and yearning for what came next.

“I am.” I finally spoke.

“Y/N, I—” there was a loud obnoxious knock on the door as it swung open.

“Oh—oh— I—I’m so sorry” Greg stood there with an apologetic look on his face. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“It’s okay.” Michael said. “What is it?”

“Princess Diana is on her way. They want us all in place for her arrival.”

Michael looked at me and I gave him a nod. He looked nervous as his lips met my cheek and he hugged me tightly.

“We will talk later.” He stated hopefully as he moved towards the door.

“I’m so sorry.” Greg mouthed before closing the door leaving me alone.

“This next song is very special to me. It comes from my heart.” Michael spoke as the lights began to dim. “I’m going to perform it a little differently tonight. I hope you don’t mind.” His beautiful voice filled the stadium.

I just want to lay next to you for a while

You look so beautiful tonight

Your eyes are so lovely

Your mouth is so sweet

A lot of people misunderstand me

That's because they don't know me at all

I just want to touch you

And hold you

I need you, God I need you

I love you so much

Michael’s intimate intro to ‘I Just Can’t Stop Loving You’ caused chills to travel down my spine. The longer I kept my eyes on him the more I thought about our moment in his dressing room earlier. There was so much emotion behind it. I just wanted to know what he was thinking. I took a moment to look out into the full stadium. The audience was lit up with thousands of lighters hovering over the sea of fans.

Wow.

We all gathered backstage after the show to celebrate. I didn’t realize how many people would be here or how loud it was going to get. Nonetheless, I was really enjoying myself, I was sitting with the band when everyone suddenly went silent. I followed their stare and saw the man of the hour.

“Dance with me.” Michael held his hand out and I gladly accepted.

“You’re my favorite dance partner.”

My comment went unnoticed as Michael stared off. His grip on me tightened as we danced in silence. He placed my arms further around his neck pulling me closer to him. Two songs went by without a word from him.

“Michael?” I poked his cheek getting his attention. “What’s going on up there?”

“Nothing.” He spat. He never snapped at me. It made me feel awful. His coldness triggered me deeply making me feel insignificant.

“What’s your problem?”

“I asked you to dance with me why do you feel the need to pester me.” I stepped away immediately looking at him as if he was a stranger. “Y/N—” he said softly reaching for my hand.

“You’re being so ugly to me.” I shook my head walking away leaving him standing alone. I shoved the dressing room door open swiftly gathering my belongings.

“Jet lagged again.” I heard Michael’s mocking voice behind me.

“No actually at the moment I’m extremely fed up with you.”

“Me?”

“Yes you!” I pointed at him as my vision became blurry. “Why would you ask me to dance just to speak to me like that? You’ve never treated me like that before.”

“No! I wanted to dance with you because- I just- some of the guys from the crew were talking about you. I couldn’t- I tried to keep my cool but they were saying— I didn’t like it—”

“Wait.” I wiped my eyes. “You asked me to dance so no one else could?”

“I—” he was frozen in place and I felt myself begin to tremble from how angry I was.

“You know what Michael. How about you figure out what you want because I can’t handle this anymore. One minute you’re serenading me asking me if I’m in love and the next you’re acting like this. You keep saying all these things and I have no idea how I’m supposed to take them because you never explain. It feels like you’re toying with me and it isn’t fair. Do you know how terrifying it is to be in love? The thought of losing that person destroys you because he’s one of the most important people in your life. Every time he gives you a shred of hope that he may feel the same he disregards it just as quickly- and it doesn’t even matter because to me- to me he is everything. He’s my everything. This back and forth is- it’s mentally exhausting Michael, but I’m still here.” I frantically caught my breath, Michael’s wide eyes brought me to the realization that I said way too much. He remained silent. I wanted to evaporate. Silence. I just shook my head brushing past him.

Nothing was going to be the same ever again.

July 16th, 1988

A bright golden beam of sunlight streamed through the curtains seeping through my eyelids. I sighed pulling a pillow over my face. It’s too early for this. The events of the last two days begin running through my mind as I closed my eyes. I’m a complete mess. If I could stay in bed all day I would. Michael was giving me so many mixed signals but, after last night, I’m afraid he may never speak to me again. I sat up throwing the pillow across the room with force.

“You weren’t aiming for me right?” My head snapped to the side to see Michael standing in front of the window looking out at the London sky.

“Michael!” I yelled pulling the comforter up to cover my pajamas.

“I brought us breakfast.”

“How did you get in here?”

“French toast! Your favorite..” he sang placing the take out trays on the table.

“How long were you watching me sleep?”

“I got extra syrup and fresh strawberries.” He danced taking a big bite of a strawberry.

“You scared me! Why are you here this early?”

“I knew the only way you’d listen to me is if I showed up unannounced and brought food.” A smile spread across his face. “Come on sit.”

“Give me a minute.” I sprinted to the bathroom and softly shut the door behind me. I brush my teeth and wash my face but my nerves are still through the roof. Michael’s here in my room acting suspiciously normal. I focused on my breathing as I walked out back into the room.

“My mom.” He stated as I took the seat across from him.

“What?”

“She had a spare key. I was just answering your earlier question.”

“Oh, then yes.” I smiled taking a bite.

“Yes?”

“I was aiming for you.” I answered sticking my tongue out.

“Ha. Ha. Ha. I have a comedian for a best friend folks!” He announced to an imaginary crowd.

“What would you like to talk to me about?” I asked laughing.

“I need you to promise me something first.”

“What is that?”

“I need you to let me say everything I need to say to you without interrupting me.”

“Is everything okay?” His tone beginning to make me nervous.

“I’ll explain everything.”

“I promise. No interrupting.” I held my hand up letting him know I took the oath seriously.

“Well, I want to thank you for visiting me. It’s the sweetest thing anyone has done for me in a long time. This tour has been incredible, but I have missed you very much. It’s just- everything is better when you’re around.” He slid his hand onto the table slowing inching it towards me. He gave me a small smile and I knew exactly what he wanted, so I placed my hand in his. “I know I’ve been all over the place and I’m sorry. It’s just- it’s such a tough situation. I would never intentionally toy with your feelings. I know that’s why you were avoiding me. I understand why and it’s okay. It was just for a few hours but knowing you didn’t want to see me was the worst feeling in the world.”

“I’ve kept something from you for a few years now because I truly believed it was for the best. It was easier when we were kids. We didn’t have to worry or stress. Once I got to the age where I understood my feelings it became more difficult, but not impossible. I told myself it was better to have you as my best friend than not have you at all. I wanted you in my life. I need you and I hate the idea of my feelings ruining our friendship. Then, my career took this incredible albeit insane turn. All the hard work, struggle and pain of my childhood was finally paying off, but it came at a cost. I’m constantly ridiculed, bullied and betrayed. They all misunderstand me because they don’t know me. I’m just a punchline to them.” He places his hand over his eyes leaning his elbow on the table in attempt to conceal his watery eyes. “I knew I had to protect you from this world. The media attacking you. The paparazzi stalking you. I couldn’t bear leaving you vulnerable to it all. There has always been an excuse. And they all seemed like great excuses. It wasn’t until yesterday that I realized it was fear holding me back. The fear of losing you, but let’s face it you aren’t going anywhere and neither am I. Y/N, there is nothing in this world that is worth keeping my distance from you.” His hand fell from his face and landed over mine.

“Y/N, I could never close my heart to you because it’s yours. It has always been yours.”

“I’m terrified but I think- I hope you want this too. I hope you want me— us.”

“I know what happened opening night hurt you. I know because if I had to watch some schmuck kiss you… or dance with you…” he paused his rant shifting in his seat “I would loose my mind. It would break me.” He squeezed his eyes shut softly shaking his head back and forth. “I could feel your pain. I could feel the ache in your heart. I could feel your tears. It was unbearable. I never want to be the cause of it again. Ever.”

“The reality is if we become more it will change your life in an instant. I pray that you feel I’m worth it as much as I feel you are. I know you are. It won’t be easy, but I vow to do everything in my power to keep any harm from coming to you. I will always protect you.”

“Lovely, in all the ways I’ve pictured my life, you are always in it. You and I are inevitable. We are predestined. It’s in the stars. Everything in me chooses you. You are it. You’re the dream of all dreams. You’re my dream come true. I love you. I love you infinitely.”

Michael’s shoulders relaxed as he let out a deep sigh. He stood up and pulled his chair over to sit beside me. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. My Michael.

“I um- that was probably too much to throw at you all at once. Goodness it’s hot in here.” He started playing with his hair and I knew he was panicking.

“Can I talk now?” I whispered. He hesitantly nodded.

“Michael, please look at me.” His eyes were closed and he shook his head no. “Michael.”

He didn’t move and I could tell he thought I was going to reject him. My hands landed on his broad shoulders, his eyes still closed as I ever so gently turned him towards me. I tried to focus on my breathing as my hands traveled to the back of his neck. My fingers running through his curls. I took a brief moment to catch my breath before I leaned in.

As our lips met, a strong bolt of electricity ran through my body. I felt his hands tenderly cup my face as he deepened the kiss, his lips moving against mine with a gentle urgency. In that moment, nothing else mattered - no excuses - no fears.

Surprisingly, the thought of being pressed up against Michael never crossed my mind, but now that it was happening, I didn’t want it to end. Michael’s hands were strong as he affectionately caressed my body. Our lips slightly parted - our breathing heavy - our gazes falling onto one another. Michael didn’t waste time letting his eyes travel. His breath hitched as he lustfully scanned my legs on either side of his hips.

“Oh lovely.” He quickly caught my lips again gripping the back of my thighs. He stood up carrying me with ease as he moved over to the bed.

I felt the plush mattress form to the curves of my body as Michael hovered over me leaving sweet kisses across my collarbone.

“I love you Y/N” he mumbled against my skin with each kiss.

“My entire life...” he stopped and adjusted himself to look into my eyes. “My whole life I’ve been completely in love with you.” The corners of his lips curved up and he buried his face into my neck. “Michael, I love you with my whole heart.”

“Please don’t let this be a dream.” Michael pleaded.

“This is real.” I smiled finding his lips again. “This is happening.”

“Y/N?” He said against my lips.

“Yes Michael?”

“Can I take you on a date? A real date. Just the two of us. Tonight after the show.” He moved to the space next to me as we both shifted laying on our sides to face each other.

“I would love that.”

“I want to kiss you forever.”

“I would love that.” I repeated flirtatiously.

“My girl.” He smiled leaning his forehead against mine. “You’re my girl..”

“Oh I am?” I teased.

“I would like you to be mine. Do you want to be my girl?”

“Hmmm.. let me think.”

Michael began singing and my heart melted further with each lyric.

You know how I feel

I won't stop until

I hear your voice saying

"I do"

Michael watched me intently waiting for my answer. He leaned closer and I smiled kissing him deeply “I do” I said against his lips.

This thing can't go wrong

This feeling's so strong

Well, my life ain't worth living

If I can't be with you

I just can't stop loving you

I just can't stop loving you

And if I stop

Then tell me, just what will I do

I just can't stop loving you

There it is part 3!!!

Ahhhhh! Maybe part 4?

I hope you all enjoyed this rollercoaster lol

Let me know what you think. Also, should I put together a tag list?

[wildglitch]

Spider-man x Batfam Prompt's

Ok so lately I have seen a lot of "Spidy goes to gotham and gets adopted fics" probably cause of Dark Matter by mysterycyclone cause like, duh, that fic is a goddamn masterpiece. But I feel like a lot of them are sort of the same thing with diffrent fonts ans it feels a bit saturated. Not all of them...but most of them.

Am I saying that there needs to be less of these fics? Hell no! Keep writing them please. I just feel like there could be more variety is all.

I suggest maybe try one of these ideas out

1: Peter going straight to the Batfam or other heros (dosent always have to be Batfam) and they try to work together on how to get him home, while slowly realizing "omg, your life is terrible! We want to help you, we do, but maybe we shouldnt and try to give you a better life here. Then its just a moral delema on what to do as they get to know the spider child.

2: maybe another Spider-man is the one that goes to Hotham like Andrew or Toby. Insted of being sent home at the end of NWH, they where accidentally sent to the DCU. Or maybe one of the Spider verse characters or a cartoon version of the character. Dosent always need to be Toms Spider-man.

3: on that same note. Please give more love to What If...Zombies Peter. You guys have no Idea the amount of angst and "haha, my world ended and im fine" potental there is. And you can have the other surviving member also be there as they look for eachother (characters that "survived* (no one survived that episode) are Peter, King T'challa, Scott Lang+cape, and Ig Bruce Baner/Hulk, and Bucky Barnes since we never saw them get turned or eaten) just think about Spidey and the Batfam investigating a lab or sometbing and all of a sudden they find floating head Scott in a crate. Everyone if scared shitless while Peter is crying tires of joy as he moves to hug the floating head. Think about that and tell me Im not on to something here.

4: Have the fic start our like halfway through. Maybe skip him getting to Gotham and have him be there for a few months already or something. This will help with adding more crack fics.

5: Maybe have the fic be that Peter is there for a while, he knows everyone, they know him, they might or might not know the identitys but they trust eachother. And Peter has been looking for a way home and he finally finds it! But... he accidentally brings some of the Batfam with him. So now its the Batfams turn to learn to live in the MCU with help of Spidy and they finally understand so much about him, how he lived, and vigilanties he knows (team red!) As they learn the history and pubilc opinion or Spider-man and the world.

6: Just a react to fic. Yk, those fics where they're stuffed in a room and forced to watch something? Yeah. Have the Dark Matter cast stuffed in a room and watch some MCU clips. It dosent even have to be some magic forth wall bull shit if you dont like that. In chapter 44, Peter and co. are said to be going back to the cave, and Peter still have is suit. Canonically, Karen records everything. Maybe Peter ends up so tired he dosent even want to try to explain everything. So he just hooks up Karen to the computer and and has her show them everything from the suits recordings to security cameras and news reports, to the memes and videos spiderman fans have made.

7: have the Justice League get involed cause "Hes to bright to be one of yours Bruce!" And have him be a honorary member of the league of have them put him on Young Justice. Peter gets adopted by Batfam? Yes. Peter becomeing Bffs with the Young Justice kids and actually forming normal relationships with kids his age? Also yes.

Do I have more? Probably but Im too lazy for it rn

If you for some reason use one of my ideas, pls tag me and maybe credit me for the original idea (but I mostly want to be able to find the fic if you do make it ( o_o) )

Who knows, I might just write some of these myself if I ever get the motivation lol

[1mnobodywhoareyou]

Wrath of Venus

idea credit to @floating-in-the-blue courtesy of this reblog (I also recall some back and forth in the tags but i can't be bothered to find them). Title/band name credit to @legolasghosty. And motivation credit to every single person who sent a rose. This happened exclusively because I didn't want to give Bex snippets to people who don't read Bex 😅. It'll hit ao3 eventually. When i can think of tags. May or may not become a proper AU. Hope y'all enjoy.

JatP | 1404 words | G | ambiguous/pre-Juke | alive AU

Julie’s thoughts are interrupted by an unexpected voice to her left. “Hey, you come here often?” 

Julie turns toward him, eyes narrowed as she takes him in from head to toe. Brown shaggy hair, captivating smile, broad shoulders… She grimaces as she notices the cut off tee but continues her inspection anyway, taking note of his black pants - surprisingly absent of tears or holes, the countless chains hanging from his waist complete with dangling folded wallet…

“How does anything stay in that?” she asks, pointing to the offending accessory.

He scoops it up and flips it open. “Little secret I have,” he responds with a sly grin. “If you keep it empty, you don’t need to worry about it.”

Julie rolls her eyes. “Broadcasting your poverty isn’t as cute as you seem to think it is.”

He offers a resigned shrug in response. A pause and then, “I’m Luke, by the way.”

“Julie.”

“Julie.” He repeats, saying it slowly like he’s feeling her name out in his mouth. She does everything in her power to keep from rolling her eyes. This is one of the worst parts of being involved with the music scene in LA. Men who feel like they’re entitled to her because she exists. Them and the men who feel like she’s an interloper who doesn’t belong there. If she’s really lucky, she’ll encounter a two in one. She’s trying to figure out which this Luke guy is when-

“What’s a girl like you doing in a place like this?” 

Sure, the dingy bar isn’t a great place to hang out or be found, but it’s unfortunately one of the few places for some of the best acts to get their start. And if she wants to keep her edge over her competition, this is where she needs to be. But he doesn’t need to know that.

“Could ask the same of you,” she counters. 

He sputters for a moment and Julie hides a proud smile behind her glass as she takes a sip of her drink. 

She waits patiently for him to recover. 

“My band’s playing tonight,” he finally says. 

Great. He’s one of those. 

She nods politely, choosing to keep her thoughts about guitarists and lead singers to herself. He gives off lead singer energy. 

She starts to spin herself back toward the bar when she feels him slide onto the stool beside her. His energy seems to have shifted from that of casual bar patron looking for a hookup to overly excited puppy desperate for attention. She eyes him curiously.

He immediately takes the opening she’s inadvertently offered. “We heard this is the best place to get noticed by this killer agent. Took us weeks to even get booked. And everyone’s so good! Can’t wait for our set.” He looks out toward the floor, scanning the small crowd that’s gathering. “Hope she’s here tonight.”

Julie looks up at the bartender who’s trying their hardest not to laugh. She sends them an amused wink. Julie knows that the staff here are discreet, she’s built a solid relationship with all of them over the last several years and they’ve always got her back when needed. Willie’s been a constant through the ups and downs of her wading her way through this world.

Julie hums in acknowledgement as she tries to decide if she wants to brush this guy off or find out more about him. You know, for work. Obviously.

Curiosity wins out. 

“Have I heard of you?”

This time it’s Luke’s turn to consider her carefully. 

“I don’t know. We’re still pretty small and-”

“Try me.” Julie can’t help but be amused by how quickly this guy’s energy seems to shift.

“Well, uh…” he stammers.

“Unless you’re lying to pick up women in the bar?”

His eyes widen comically. “What?! No! I promise I’m in a real band that’s playing a real show tonight. Well, set. A small set.”

“Okay,” she gestures toward Willie, silently asking for a copy of tonight’s event poster. They’re not even hiding their eavesdropping at this point and immediately hand her one. She reads through the list, glancing back up at Luke once she’s done. 

“Well you’d be cutting it too close to be the next act. I know for a fact that you’re not Midnight Madness or Whisper Cats. And you said it’s your first time playing here so I doubt you’re the headliner. Which means you must be Sunset Curve?”

He sputters at her again. This time she doesn’t bother hiding her grin. 

“How did you do that?!” he asks once he’s recovered.

Julie shrugs. “I know things.”

This is, apparently, the wrong thing to say. He eyes her carefully and oh, Julie knows that look. That’s the dude in any male-dominated space’s “I’m about to test you” look. She loathes that look. 

He glances up at the bartender, as if he’s considering ordering a drink to fully settle in next to Julie, then back at the stage, then back at Julie. 

She raises an eyebrow, part curiosity, part challenge. She’s been here before. Her part in the game never changes, she just needs to wait for them to make their move.

“So who’s your favourite band, then?”

And there it is. She narrows her eyes at him. His tone is just slightly different than most of the guys she encounters but she can’t quite figure out how or why.

“You wouldn’t know them.”

He scoffs. Julie suppresses an eye roll. 

“Try me,” he challenges. 

“Fine.” She leans forward, into his space, and stares at him. “Wrath of Venus.”

He hums consideringly and takes a long moment to think. Julie waits for the inevitable response of his made up opinion, usually negative, of her completely made up band. 

“I don’t think I’ve heard of them,” he finally answers, far too earnestly. “What kind of music do they make?”

This time it’s Julie’s turn to sputter as she’s completely caught off guard. She glances back at Willie who offers her a sympathetic shrug and smile but no actual aid. She glares at them before turning back to face Luke.

“They’re a hard rock girl group,” she finally blurts out.

Luke hums thoughtfully. “That makes sense. I still don’t know enough women-fronted groups. I’m working on it though.” He shimmies his phone out of his pocket. Or tries. From the look of things, his pockets are deeper and tighter than is ideal. 

He lets out a small, victorious shout once he finally succeeds. He unlocks it and taps around. “Can you tell me their name again? I want to look into them later!”

“Uhhhhh…” Julie stalls, trying to come up with literally anything to cover her ass. “They’re not on any streaming services yet. Still really new. Up and coming.”

“Oh,” Luke says, dismay clear in his voice, as he pockets his phone again. “I guess I’ll have to keep an eye out for some shows. They’re from here?”

“Uh, no. They, uh… They just come through town once in a while. When they can afford it, you know?”

Luke nods. “Yeah, I do. I’m so glad we actually live here.”

Julie notices the current act finishing up from over his shoulder. She nods toward the stage. “You’re almost up.”

Luke turns toward the stage in a panic. He scrambles off his barstool. “Nice to meet you, Julie!” he calls as he darts off. 

She breathes out a sigh of relief. Willie sets a refill of her drink down next to her. 

“Say. Nothing,” she warns them. 

They mime zipping their lips shut but don’t bother trying to hide the amused grin. 

“Watch them actually be good,” she grumbles as she lifts her glass to her lips. 

And they were. Really good. Enough so that Julie had to go and properly introduce herself after their set. Thankfully, there wasn’t any real opportunity for Julie’s fake band to come up again as she was introduced to the other band members and they exchanged contact information. She gave herself a mental pat on the back for managing to maintain a professional front through it all. 

And after getting over his shock that she was indeed the Ms. Molina from Dahlia Records he’d been hoping for, a downright giddy energy overtook Luke. It would take much longer than is reasonable for Julie to admit how endearing she found it. And would continue to. For better or worse.

[cowgurrrl]

Pine Point

Pairing: rockstar!joel miller x actress!reader

Author’s note: 😮‍💨 (ps fic is named after this song)

Summary: You and Joel deal with the aftermath of your accident [4.7k!!]

Warnings: hospital settings, a very quick mention of a miscarriage not experienced by the reader, questionable Hollywood motives once again, quick mention of Ellie’s foster home situation, kinda angsty actually, arguing (oops), language, not a super cohesive ending

Joel stays with you all night and into the morning. You're not sure if he got any rest while sitting in the uncomfortable chair next to your bed, but you know that he never let go of your hand. Every time you woke up from a bad dream or because a nurse was prodding at you, the callouses on his hands helped remind you that you were safe. He asked questions about your injuries and what recovery would look like for you. He listened, watched, and even recorded the nurse's voice (with her permission, of course) so he could reference it later. You wonder if he did the same thing when Sarah was born. You imagine him, eighteen years younger, furiously scribbling down notes on the best way to swaddle his newborn daughter. The image makes you smile, and when Joel asks what you're smiling about, you shake your head and mumble, "Nothing."

Carolina, being the goddess that she is, stops by your house to get you a clean change of clothes before stopping by her own house for Ryan. Joel helps you change into sweatpants and a flannel button-up from your house. He recognizes it but doesn't say anything or try to take it back; he actually smiles when he pulls it out of the bag. "Looks better on you," he mumbles as he kisses you and tugs the fabric over your shoulders, shaky fingers buttoning the shirt closed for you. The air seems lighter, and the hospital less stuffy in the morning light. Your body is still sore and aching as you sit on the edge of the hospital bed, but you're in better spirits. You're ready to go home and put this all behind you.

"Hey there, stranger," a gravelly voice says, and you turn to see Carolina wheeling Ryan into your room in a wheelchair. Your tear ducts betray your better mood, and you immediately burst into tears at the sight of him. He's bruised and swollen and stitched up, but he's alive. You step off the bed with Joel's help and bend to hug him, sobbing into his shoulder. You think Carolina and Joel exchange hugs and cheek kisses, too, but you can't see through bleary eyes. Ryan reaches up and smooths your hair down like he does and has done every single time he's ever held you while you cried. For some reason, the gesture makes you even more emotional. "I knew I looked bad, but I didn't think it'd be enough to make you cry." He says, and you laugh.

"Shut up," you sniffle as you step back to look at him, carefully wiping tears from your puffy face. Ryan grabs your hand and kisses the top of it. "Besides, I look like shit, too."

"Never." He smiles, and you take a deep breath. You look up at Carolina and swallow thickly. She looks exhausted, her hazel eyes more brown than anything under the hospital lights, and her lips are cracked from pulling at the skin all night. You stare at her, and she stares back, and something unspoken passes between you. Joel keeps you upright, and Ryan holds your hand in his as you hug her as tight as you can and fight more tears. She rubs your back and gently rocks you back and forth like a baby. You've always said Ryan and Carolina were your Mom and Dad friends because they are so parental and nurturing, but it feels especially true now.

"I'm so sorry." Your voice catches in your throat, and you feel her shake her head.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. You're not the one who ran the red light." She says.

"But, I should've been paying attention. I should've seen him coming. I should've,"

"You're both safe. You protected Ryan the best you could and brought him home to me. There is nothing more I could've asked of you, okay? "

"He could've died," you say. Carolina says your name quietly, like she's scolding you, and pulls your face out of her neck, her hands framing your face. Ryan squeezes your hand, and you pinch your thigh with your other hand to stop crying.

"This was an accident. You didn't get in the car thinking someone was gonna hit you, right?" She asks, and you shake your head. "But when you did get hit, the first thing you did was check on him. You did everything possible to make sure he was taken care of because you are a good fucking friend. Maybe one of the best. So, I don't want to hear you apologizing because I should be thanking you." She hugs you again, not hard enough to hurt but enough to make you feel like she's pressing all your broken pieces together again. 

You could probably count on one hand the number of times she's hugged you like this. Once when she and Ryan got married, and you managed to keep her divorced parents from fighting the whole night with copious amounts of liquor and strategic pulls to the dance floor. Once when she had a miscarriage about a year before they had Elizabeth, and you flew home early from shooting in Maine to be with them. You weren't supposed to see them for another two months, and she broke down the second you stepped into their bedroom. And once, when your childhood dog died, and you couldn't make it home in time to say goodbye. Pieces of each of you that you never thought would ever come close to resembling what they used to have been meticulously pulled back together by each other. You can't go back and stop the accident from happening, but slowly, you can let yourself be put back together. 

"I love you," you whisper, and she kisses your temple.

"I love you, too." 

After a few more minutes of crying and hugging, Carolina and Ryan go home. You promise to come over and see them once you feel a little stronger, but they don't rush you. Joel hands you a tissue once they're down the hallway, and you smile before taking and wiping it under your eyes and nose. 

"Feel better?" He asks, and you nod. You step into him and rest your head on his chest. It's partially so you can be close to him and partially because your body hurts too much to stay upright anymore. 

"Thank you," you say. He kisses the top of your head and tucks your hair behind your ears so he can see you clearly.

"You don't have to thank me."

"I want to," you look up at him, and he smiles. Your phone buzzes on the side table, and you reach for it, but Joel stops you. His smile has dropped, and he suddenly looks worried. You furrow your brows and glance between him and your phone. "Joel, what's up?"

"Mel called this morning," he says, and your heart immediately sinks. "Um, she asked if you and Ryan would be ready to do reshoots in two weeks." You nod and bite the inside of your cheek before laughing. You feel crazy standing there, laughing so hard that the ache in your chest blossoms into sharp pain. Joel says your name softly, and you shake your head.

"I just had the scariest experience of my life, and the only thing she called to ask about was my fucking reshoot schedule?"

"I told her to wait."

"No, that's not how it works with her. She needs an answer immediately, or she doesn't get auditions, and if she doesn't get auditions, then I don't work, and she drops me," you scrub a hand down your face and take a deep breath. "I'll call her when I get home."

"What're you gonna say?"

"I'm gonna say yes."

"What?" He asks. "You just said this was the scariest experience you've ever had, and you wanna just go back to work?"

"I don't have a choice. The entire schedule gets thrown off if we don't go in and do whatever they need us to do. Thousands of people are relying on us so they can make money to feed their families. If I say no, production gets halted, it takes longer to get the movie to screens, and we lose money," you shrug. "And they'll put makeup on the bruises and stuff. It'll be like it never even happened. Just how they want it."

"You don't have to go through with this. I'm sure Mel would understand." He insists. 

"You don't know Mel, then," you say. "I'll message her later. It's easier to just shut up and do it than fight about it."

"But-"

"It's fine, Joel. Please, just drop it." You blame your brain pulsing against your skull and the searing pain in your knees for snapping at him. It's not what you wanted to say, but you're so tired. And angry. And in pain. You pull away from him and sit back down on your hospital bed as a nurse comes in with your discharge paperwork. She's incredibly cheerful for ten in the morning. It almost hurts your head having to listen to her describe different types of infection and how to prevent it. Joel nods as she speaks, obviously taking in every piece of information he can and clutching the paperwork to his chest. 

"Other than that, I think you guys are good to go. Do you have a way of getting home?" The nurse asks you.

"I'm takin' her back to my house," Joel answers, and you have to bite your tongue before you say something about him speaking on your behalf. The nurse leaves you with a wheelchair so you don't have to walk all the way to the car, and you look at Joel.

"I can take care of myself,"

"I know you can," he says as he begins gathering your things around the room. "I just wanna take care of you, too." He's being incredibly kind and helpful, you realize that, but that does nothing to stop your frustration with the whole situation. 

Mel will always be Mel, this much you concluded years ago. But Joel butting into your professional life feels like a step too far. You know this business like the back of your hand. He doesn't. It's unfair for him to try to tell you how to deal with your agent when he doesn't know the repercussions. He doesn't understand just how many people are relying on you and Ryan to come back to set for a few reshoots. It would literally waste hundreds of thousands of dollars in studio money to push this back. Answering the nurse's question without consulting you first did nothing to make you feel better. 

Joel seems to notice the silence filling the space between you at the same time as you because he turns and leans down so he can look you in the eye. All your things are stuffed into the huge bag Carolina fished from your closet, and the hospital room looks identical to when you arrived. Joel takes a deep breath and grinds his teeth as he thinks.

"Please, let me take care of you." He says quietly, his tone gentle and borderline begging. Nobody's taken care of you during a sickness or an injury since you left your parent's house. Especially after you started becoming more famous, you didn't want anyone to see you in that vulnerable state and exploit it. People like you are expected to suck it up, keep going and hope it'll go away in a week or two. 

This is different. This is letting Joel assume responsibility for you for at least a few days, something you're sure you'll feel horrible about after the fact. This is staying at his house, eating his food, and sleeping in his bed because you're too wobbly to do those things alone. This is trusting him way more than you ever have. But he wants to. He told you he does. He took notes on how to change the bandages on your fucking stitches. He obviously cares. So, why does this feel so hard? You sigh and swallow your pride, and nod.

"Okay."

Joel's house is not what you expected it to look like. Most musicians you know stick to a very sleek, very boring black and white theme for their homes. White couch, black coffee table, white rug, black piano, white walls, black art. It's typical and almost a running joke between you and your friends each time you end up in a musician's house, but Joel's is different. His house looks lived in with scattered shoes by the door, backpacks slung over chairs, and colorful art on the walls. Some frames depict vast Texas landscapes or longhorns mean mugging the camera, while others are just abstract, bright paint splashes. There are smaller ones, too, with Ellie's loopy signature at the bottom. The couch is oversized and plush, with pillows and blankets nearby for movie nights. Report cards and family pictures hang on the fridge via silly magnets from different states and countries. You realize it feels like a real home after your first night.

You've gotten into a routine by the third day at Joel's house. Joel will wake up before you, sneak out of bed to make breakfast, and gather the pills you need to take to get through the day. Sometimes, he brings it to you, and other times, he helps you down the stairs and into the kitchen. You'll drink coffee and eat breakfast together as the sun slowly peeks over the Los Angeles skyscrapers. After you eat, he'll check your stitches and change the bandage to ensure they're healing correctly. Then, you'll just sit together and hold hands until one of the girls stirs awake, and you get to watch Joel be a dad. 

Sarah is the next one up every morning, but especially this morning, walking down the stairs a full hour and a half before school starts and giving Joel the rundown of her schedule for the day as he makes her breakfast. She asks how you're feeling and then makes sure her dad gave you your medication. You really can take it yourself, but watching them work together to make sure you're alright is sweet. They tease each other for a while before Joel checks his watch and curses under his breath, making his way to the stairs after kissing your and Sarah's foreheads. 

"I'm surprised he doesn't just yell up the stairs for her. That's what my dad used to do." You say as you sip what's left of your coffee, and Sarah shrugs.

"He doesn't yell very often. It scares Ellie. Besides, she wouldn't wake up even if he did." She says nonchalantly, and you immediately want to stuff the words back down your throat. 

"I'm sorry."

"For what? You didn't know," she shrugs, and you shake your head. "In the wise words of Hank Miller," she says before assuming a slouched posture and putting a hand on your wrist. "You're too hard on yourself, darlin'." You laugh at her Texas accent but still can't shake the feeling that you keep getting this— your relationship with the girls— wrong. 

"Well, your grandfather sounds like a very smart man."

"And he's right, y'know," she says, looking at you with those beautiful brown eyes. You wonder if she can see right through you like Joel can. "The whole time you've been here, you keep apologizing."

"I only apologized once this morning."

"Yeah, to me. How many times have you apologized to my dad?" She asks, raising her eyebrows, and you sigh. "It was a family decision to have you come stay with us. Three out of three Millers voted yes. I promise it's really okay."

"It's not that." 

"Then, what is it?" 

"I don't... I've never..." You struggle with the words. "I've never dated someone with kids, and I don't want to overstep or make you guys feel like I'm taking your dad away from you. I don't know how to do this, so I keep saying things and then just feeling stupid or like I messed up. Like I should've remembered the thing about Ellie's foster homes." You don't know why you're disclosing all the information to an eighteen-year-old, but she seems receptive. 

"Ellie doesn't want any of us to treat her differently because of her past, and I'm pretty sure if you tried, she'd rip you a new one. The fact that you're even trying makes such a difference. My dad has dated... some really not great people he never even told about us. But not only do you know about us, you care about us enough to freak out about us, which is totally unnecessary, by the way," she says. "My dad, Ellie, and I are a team, and we have been for a really long time, so we were a little worried when he told us he was dating again. But he's so happy. Like annoyingly happy." You both laugh at that and feel the weight on your shoulders ease off. 

"And Ellie and I kinda agreed that as long as you made my dad happy, we'd find a way to be happy for him, but you make it pretty easy. I like having you around. We both do."

"Yeah?" You ask, and she hums with a big smile on her face. You bump her shoulder with your own and smile too. "I like having you around, too." 

"So, no more worrying about us, okay?" 

"I can't guarantee anything, but thank you. I really appreciate you saying all that." 

"You're welcome." She says as you wrap an arm around her shoulder and kiss her temple. Joel walks back into the kitchen with a knowing look but doesn't say anything, and you wonder how much he heard. A groggy Ellie, still in her pajamas, trails behind him and blindly reaches for the orange juice in the fridge. 

"Oh, motherfucker," Ellie mutters as she sloshes around the last inch of orange juice. She holds up the mostly empty container and gives Joel a deadly serious look. "This is child abuse."

"That ain't child abuse," Joel says, already halfway to the garage. Ellie rolls her eyes before landing on you and softening.

"How're you feeling?" She asks, and you laugh.

"Better after watching you fuck with your dad."

"He's easy to fuck with," she says as the garage door opens again and Joel's footsteps get closer. "Watch this." 

"Here you go," Joel says, handing Ellie a new container of orange juice. She furrows her eyebrows and looks at him.

"I didn't ask for this."

"What? Yes, you did."

"No, I didn't."

"Oh, my God, Dad's losing it." Sarah chimes in. Joel looks confused and like he's genuinely trying to remember if Ellie asked for it, and you can't stop the snort from leaving you.

"You little shit," Joel says, making Ellie laugh. Then, in the blink of an eye, Joel tickles Ellie, and her screeching laughter fills the kitchen. You and Sarah laugh, too, especially when the laughter turns into squeaks. Ellie tries to slip out of his grip, but he picks her up, hauls her over his shoulder, and makes for the backdoor. 

"Joel Miller, do not throw your daughter in the pool!" You yell, and he groans before turning back around and dumping a still giggling Ellie on the couch.

"You win this round, kid," Joel points in her face before kissing her cheek. "Alright, we're gonna have to leave for school soon. Can you be ready in thirty minutes?" 

"Yes, I'm not Sarah."

"Hey!" Sarah shouts as Ellie runs back up the stairs to get dressed, giggling the whole way to her room.

As you and Sarah talk about school, Joel puts eggs, bacon, and toast on a plastic plate for Ellie to eat in the car, forever worried about her missing meals. He takes a little longer than he needs to so he can watch how you two interact, his eyes twinkling in the sunshine. You and Sarah have been friends from the jump, but you have to admit that there's something a little more sacred about her letting you into her space. You and Sarah do your best to ignore his puppy dog eyes, but when Ellie comes downstairs with her backpack slung over her shoulder, she makes a face.

"Why do you look like that?" She asks, making Joel quickly snap out of it.

"Why do you look like that?"

"That's so funny. Did you come up with that yourself?" She rolls her eyes. Joel does a squeaky, high-pitched voice to mock her as he grabs his keys from the counter. He walks over and pecks your lips before walking to the front door.

"Alright, Miller bus is leavin'! Let's roll out!" He yells. The girls bid you a quick goodbye before chasing after him, leaving you completely alone in the house. 

After putting your dirty dishes away, you venture through the house now that you feel a little stronger. You start at the fridge, looking through all the little pictures and magnets deemed worthy of being seen daily. You decide that your favorite is the one of Joel, Tommy, and the girls at the Grand Canyon. It looks like it was taken a few years ago based on the babyish plumpness of Ellie's face and the braces on Sarah's teeth as she smiles. Joel is squinting in the sun, but he's so completely in his element in the desert with his family, hands on the girls' shoulders. It's pinned to the fridge with a Washington, D.C. magnet depicting the Lincoln Memorial. 

As you glide through the house, you keep finding new favorites. Many other celebrities you've met either don't hang up their family photos because they run the risk of ruining the aesthetic of their home or because they don't want people to see them. Joel, however, has massive frames holding multiple pictures of his family throughout the years. A picture of a much younger Joel with a baby strapped to his chest sets you back on your heels because of just how little he looks. He can't be older than twenty-three as he poses, one hand on baby Sarah's back and the other holding a diaper bag. You watch them grow alongside each other as you move down the wall. 

You see pictures from an elementary school career day where Joel and Sarah pose with different tools. Pictures of Tommy, Joel, and Sarah lined up for what looks like a Fourth of July parade when Sarah was a toddler, her chubby hands latched to her dad's as she sat on his shoulders. Then, suddenly and without warning, a round little face framed with wavy brown hair enters the pictures, but it feels like she was always meant to be there. There's a framed photo strip of the three of them making goofy faces at the camera and pretending their dad isn't cool as he kisses their cheeks and rests his head on Ellie's shoulder. You feel almost emotional looking at the worn photos and seeing their love for each other transcend a camera lens. Though, a buzzing in your pocket stops you from thinking any more about it, and you roll your eyes as you read a text from Melanie.

Heard what happened. I'm so sorry :( I got all those pictures from the crash taken down 👍 Still good for reshoots in two weeks?

You sigh and type out a response as the front door opens and Joel walks back in. 

"What're you doin'? I thought you'd be in bed." He says, and you shake your head.

"I wanted to snoop, and I'm responding to Melanie about scheduling." 

"Oh, good. When are you gonna move reshoots to?" He asks as he walks over, his keys still jingling in his hands from dropping off the girls. 

"I'm not moving them."

"What? I thought you were gonna try and change it." He says as you press send on your message confirming the dates and look up at him, confused. 

"I never said that." 

"We talked about it at the hospital."

"Yeah, but I never said I'd change the time just because you didn't agree." You say, and he scoffs. You tuck your phone away and cross your arms over your chest while he searches your face like he's waiting for the punchline to a joke he's never heard. When it doesn't come, he shakes his head.

"Wow." He breathes, and you furrow your brows.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Something."

"I just can't believe you didn't even try to fight her on it." He says in a frustrated tone, and you give him three beats of silence to rethink what he just said. 

"Melanie can be a bitch, but she's also responsible for my career. If I fuck her over, I fuck myself over." You say when he doesn't backtrack.

"Is that what she told you?" 

"Joel," you warn, but he doesn't stop.

"If you keep goin' like this, it's gonna kill you. Do you realize that?" He asks incredulously, and you throw your arms up.

"We are in entirely different worlds when it comes to our careers, so can you please stop telling me how to run mine? I don't get on you this much about your job."

"Because I don't work myself to the bone like you do."

"You're right. You don't," you snap, and he takes a deep breath. You're not quite sure where to go from here. You don't know if this counts as a fight, but you know you feel bad. "I already confirmed. I can't change it now." You say softer than the harshness that took over your voice moments ago.

"Okay," he nods. "Then, 'm comin' to set with you because we both know that if somethin' goes wrong, Mel isn't gonna do shit to help you." He says, all of his frustration pointed at your manager now, and you want to argue that what he said isn't true but can't find the words. You think it's because, deep down, you know he's right, but you won't say it. Not now. So, instead, you just nod and unclench your jaw.

"Fine." You say as you pull out your phone to add an addendum to your previous confirmation. Joel walks into the kitchen and puts his keys on the counter before leaning against it, arms crossed over his chest. Once you're done typing, you look up and stare at him, watching the gears in his head shift.

"I really thought the car accident would've made you wanna slow down or, at least, take the time to recover. Make you see there's more to life than just work." He scoffs, and you bite your tongue so hard you taste blood. You move from your place by the photos and reach the bottom of the stairs, fighting tears, before you turn to him. He hasn't moved, but he's watching you.

"I hope you know that was a really fucking shitty thing to say to me. I would never take something like this and spin it against you because I care about you."

"I do care about you."

"Then, let me do my fucking job and stay out of my way." You walk up the stairs with a little stomp in your step. It feels very juvenile and petulant, but you're pissed and embarrassed. Who is he to dictate what you do and when? It's none of his fucking business how you run your own career. Who is he to make you feel bad for working? To fight with you about something that doesn't concern him? 

Still, even as these angry thoughts spiral in your mind, you cry the second you close the bedroom door behind you. The physical pain, nightmares, arguments, and guilt eat you from the inside out. And as you sit in that big house overflowing with love so real you can feel it in the floorboards and the man who showed up at the hospital for you downstairs, you feel completely and utterly alone for the first time since you signed your name on that stupid contract. 

[blommp717]

thoughts on this?

https://www.tumblr.com/fishietry/752200701442211840/how-to-deal-with-thoughts-of-vanessa-and-her

i’m basically in the exact same situation and not sure of how to go about it

So I did actually read this before but didn’t respond, butttt I kinda want to now so here it goes. No one can practice being even more closer to “self” or awareness or whatever people want to call it, there is no duality, and this is how it always is, not because it has to be this way but because it just is. You can’t try to be more nobdualistic and neither can you understand it even better, trying is an idea, journey is an idea.

You’ve been standing at the finish line pretending that the race is starting

The actual “problem” so to speak is the identification of some kind of self. This “self” is just an idea, a fleeting thought made more apparent by the bundling of more thoughts on it and ideas and “preferences” “desires”, there truly is no actual self but the appearance of it, when I say there’s no one here and no one really experiencing anything, I mean it. Identification is just a string of thoughts holding each others hands. Self has problems, self has issues, self has goals, self has stress, self has worries, self has all of these things it decides to attach itself to.

Trying to manifest will never work, because (adjusting how I say this so it isn’t cryptic). Everything realized is the entire manifestation. The effortless idea of “I always excel without studying” or even “I got an A on that test” is no different than the idea conjured when the “physical proof” is presented to you.

And you think the body is the decider of proof? Another illusion deciding wether the other is real or fake? Girl. The body just like everything else, is, it has no goddamn clue what it’s doing anytime anywhere, if there was no apparent self to decide or narrate the script of the body to move, eat, talk, sleep, it wouldn’t. It’s just a moving piece, no direction, motivation, journey, that’s all derived from this “self”.

The body can NEVER decide true or false, nevermind be decider of proof

They said, “But then one thought of the future and wondering if it doesnt materialise i will have to deal with it make me want to start studying and then i go back and forth like why should i study i dont have exams and then i should bcuz the ‘physical illusion’ is still showing me that.”

It’s not even a lack of faith in yourself, it’s treating NonDualism as a method. I did the same and sure it “worked” buttttt it always made me feel anxious, understanding that there is no true or false but just what is realized, puts down all the doing and waiting. I don’t think “I passed the test” to make something happen, but I think it realizing that the idea itself is the experience, there is nothing more, all is one, “imaginary” “physical” “visualizations” “affirmations” all excuses that lead to one thing, awareness.

I would write more but I could go on 🤭🌷😭😭