#and that healing exists in the embrace of others

[goron-king-darunia]

Annon-Guy: Hope you like this. I feel this does Shadow, Rouge, Omega and Maria justice.

Tell me what you think when you get a chance.

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Voice Cast:

Shadow: Kirk Thornton

Maria Robotnik: Stephenie Sheh

Rogue The Bat and Abe: Karen Strassman

E-123 Omega and The G.U.N. Commander: Roger Craig Smith

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Sonic X Shadow Generations - Dark Beginnings; https://youtu.be/S7RTnNygRqE?si=7wV1L1r5lx9u2bj9

The choreography for the fight scenes are incredibly snappy, and Shadow, Omega, and Rouge have that great Team Dark synergy going again. The fact that Rouge wants to manipulate Shadow into doing something as silly as attending Sonic's Birthday Party is kind of funny, but I really doubt Shadow would go otherwise, so fair enough.

Omega constantly calling dibs and being upset when Shadow gets to explode a robot is pretty fun, and Shadow actually visibly pulling the escape pod lever to evacuate the G.U.N. mook was a really nice touch.

Commander Abe grew so much as a character off screen than he did in Shadow the Hedgehog, it's almost insane. But I love that they're paying attention to their own lore here. Also while Shadow was technically in stasis for 50 years, I like that they're still treating the loss of Maria as something that affects him like it's fresh. Because there's still so much that happened between then and now in the time Shadow has been awake, and in a lot of ways he only regained the memories of losing Maria recently on top of a lot of new trauma. So, like. I guess I'm just glad they're letting Sonic characters have realistic trauma again. Like, the comics are notorious for having Sonic's actual children literally disappeared from the timeline because timeline and time travel shenanigans meant they were literally never born, and Sonic has to tank that emotional hit with, like, the sadness of a guy that lost his favorite record collection in a fire and not, like A PARENT THAT HAD ALL HIS CHILDREN DIE IN A FREAK ACCIDENT. "Oh but it all turns out okay in the end they just get born later." NO. Sorry those are totally new kids and even if they were cell for cell the exact same kids that doesn't justify Sonic not being allowed to experience the crushing anguish he definitely would experience because "Sonic's not that kind of character and can't be too sad."

Like, nah, actually. They are funny little haha bouncy super-fast alien hedgehogs but they are STILL FUCKING PEOPLE. You do not get to put one of the literally hardest things a human can experience in the narrative and have the character shed 3 tears and shrug it off. "Oh but it's for kids--" who will grow up into adults and who will lose people important to them. Painting a character who is meant to be a children's role model as a guy who either can or HAS TO shrug off that kind of pain is basically telling kids "you might go through literally the hardest thing there is to experience in life. Don't cry too hard about it okay?" Like FUCK THAT. Not to even mention adult audiences that clearly read the material too who, you know, might ALSO have had such a terrible thing happen to them and the narrative barely gives that thing space to breathe before they go "Okay, everything's fixed now!"

So, yeah, I'm always going to be a little salty with narratives treating death as this cheap thing they can throw in to be like "oh a bad thing happened, but it's gonna be okay." As if death is a thing that exists for 10 seconds and then you get over it. I dunno, I've just never wanted death in narratives as something treated cheaply which is why in my own work I always think long and hard about whether characters need to die, even in my fanfic where my ultimate retcon is usually bringing a dead guy back to life. So I guess I just have mad respect for games and movies and shows that take this shit seriously. I know for a long time movies and games and shows for kids were supposed to be pure entertainment. The bad guy dying is just a way to eliminate the danger, the death of parents or community members or the fridging of women all serve as motivation for the heroes but aren't given much consideration beyond that, or death isn't mentioned at all and characters are subjected to fates worse than death so that darker themes can fly under the radar. And while I think it's noble and perfectly natural to want some children's media that focuses more on the adventure, pleasure, and fun of life and the narrative makes no allusion to or mention of death, I feel like we get so much of the other side of the coin too, where death is a flourish for easy fear and anguish that get plastered over with a happy ending but you're still not asked to consider it.

I think we get very little media that actually addresses something that most humans will go through. The deaths of people they care about. Even natural, expected, quiet deaths are painful. And it feels kind of strange that instead of offering audiences a safe and comfortable place to grapple with that unpleasantness, a lot of media asks us to skirt past it because it assumes doing so avoids the most unpleasantness and pain. And I really don't think it does. Grief, I think, is like a buckshot wound, and you have to do a lot of picking around in painful places to get all the bits and pieces out before any healing can happen. I'm not saying all media needs a designated 2 hour crying session where they play sad music and invite you to mourn the character that died or whomever in your life you have unresolved grief about. But I am saying that I think it's cowardly to not allow the deaths of important characters to haunt the narrative.

I recently had the opportunity to watch the Sonic movie. I know, I'm massively late to the party. I waited for it to show up on Netflix because that's the only streaming service I currently have and I'm morally opposed to and economically prevented from having 12 different subscription services just to watch everything as soon as it releases or else pay every time I want to see something in theaters no matter how old or new it is. And it's a good movie. But it bugged me a bit that the movie spent so little time on Longclaw. We skip all but the direct impact she had on Sonic. Maybe it gets addressed in the second movie. And I know a lot of time passes and it's meant to be his backstory, but we spend so little time absorbing that Sonic was chased out of his home and his initial mother figure literally died or at least seemed to die saving him. She lives on through the advice Sonic follows to stay safe on earth. But we're really expected to believe this tiny kid tanked both the loss of his home and his adoptive mother that easily? The only real resolution we get for that is the parallel of Tom thinking of leaving Green Hill and Sonic being shaken up by that because Tom is thinking of choosing to leave his home when Sonic himself had no choice in that. Longclaw gets one or two passing mentions.

We never see a body in the first movie so I'm assuming it's entirely possible they bring her back later on and they don't want us getting too sad about a character that isn't actually dead. But it still bugs me.

I suppose it's a personal thing for me, but I've always felt like if I have to or want to cause people pain in a narrative, I need to have a reason for it beyond "that's how you make this narrative work, that's the way stories are written." Then again, I'm the sort of person that almost unilaterally writes fluff and fix it fics, so maybe those are just the stories that resonate with me most. Maybe those are the stories I need, and everyone else needs stories where the narrative isn't haunted by characters long past. But, then again I resonated with Shadow before I even lost a grandparent, so maybe it's very little to do with personal circumstance at all. Maybe I just like suffering, any and all suffering, to be acknowledged for what it is and to ask the audience to consider the unfairness of a world where suffering exists because maybe it's just in my nature to want to beg the same from others, to consider how the world is unfair in the hopes that enough of us thinking about it will help the world to change.

[natugood]

public art is so important. its impacts may seem small, but even small impacts are not insignificant.

over this last summer and fall a local artist painted a mural along the side of a bridge which I go across regularly to get home. It made me excited and happy seeing the mural come to life, passing by week after week as the art slowly stretched itself from one side to the other. yesterday I went on a long walk, and towards the end of it I had the choice to go walk by the water or go more directly home along my street. I had planned to go by the water cause I love water and nature is soothing and pleasant to exist around, but instead I decided to go more directly home because I wanted to see the mural. I've passed by it plenty of times, but every time I see the flowers and find a new creature nestled into the plant life, I feel like I am discovering another fun part of the story in the painting. it makes me happy, it makes me feel connected to this place and to my community, and it creates a sense of belonging. if that mural makes me feel more connected to my community and the world around me, if it brings me happiness and joy and excitement and wonder, then I know it does that for other people too. when people ride by on the bus and catch a glimpse of the blooming flowers, maybe it makes them smile. when people bike by on their way to their job or to the library, maybe it is comforting to see the same expression of love day after day. whether people are happy, sad, busy, distracted, angry, lonely, or scared, when they pass by that mural they are seeing an expression of love from someone, someone who is a part of the community and who was asked by the community to share their ideas and their feelings. when people pass by the mural, they are being recognized by the world, they are hearing the world call out to them, they are feeling the world give them a hug, or whatever they need in that moment. those moments of connection, even if we experience them individually, are all part of a collective experience of enjoying that place and connecting with that place. and that place is a place we all share. we build that space together by existing and enjoying the art we see and enjoying our world and enjoying each other.

[depvotee]

Man.... Saif and Morgan might nab each other the hell and back but the secret lore of them back on 2009... Man...

[cyripticchronicler]

Sooooo i need you to write more azriel becauseeeeee you are amazing at it and I adored healing

His Shadows

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: A disastrous date leads to an unexpected revelation: Azriel’s shadows aren’t just protective—they know the truth about the bond between you and him. Can you embrace the love you’ve always craved, or will fear hold you back?

TW: Kissing, one swear word

A/N: You ask and you shall receive! Ngl I love this fic so much!! Azriel longing has such a special place in my heart fr <3

Masterlist Azriel Masterlist

Azriel was sure he looked pathetic. He looked like a dog; wide, pouty eyes gazing at you longingly as he followed you around with desperate steps.

He was drawn to you like a moth to a flame. Your smile was the sun to his shadows, your laugh music to his silence. He loved how you talked to him - gentle and kind, like he weren’t a man carved from death and pain. 

Tonight was like no other. Stealing glances at you from across the dinner table, his heart was warm with adoration. You were absorbed in a conversation with Feyre, bright smile lighting up the room. Cassian was sitting next to him, chatting his ear away. He wasn’t paying attention, too enraptured by you and your colossal beauty. 

He wasn’t all that surprised when he felt the tug in his chest; a tug that led to you. Despite the suspicion that you were his mate - he’d never felt this comfortable around someone, so warm and fuzzy - he still felt the breath leave his lungs. His nervousness was unmistakable, breathing laboured and cheeks flushed. His heart was racing, his palms sweaty, and his shadows…his shadows were everywhere. 

They were swirling around his shoulders, darting towards you and wrapping around your hair as an invisible force attracted them. It was only when a shadow brushed against your cheek, so slow and caring, that he yanked his shadows back with a brutal force. 

“Az?” Cauldron, your voice was enough to bring him to his knees. Your head was tilted in concern and he knew if he looked around the table everyone would be wearing the same concerned look. 

“I-” His voice cracked, a rare slip in his usually perfect facade. “Sorry. I’m fine.” He wasn’t. And his shadows betrayed that as they reached out once again towards you as if wanting to confirm the bond was actually there. That it exists. 

He had to force them away from you once again, taking everything in him to stay in his seat when all he wanted to do was go down on his knees and beg for your love and acceptance of the bond.

 ๋࣭ ⭑

Azriel’s nervousness had amplified. It was embarrassing how his heart would stutter when you got too close. Or how his breathing would stop when you touched him in any way, even if it was a mere shoulder tap. 

His shadows, a lifelong companion, have betrayed him in ways unthinkable. They don’t listen. He can no longer trust them around you. Like now, you’re walking next to him, shoulders brushing against his own as you talk about your latest mission for the Night Court. 

Your conversation was momentarily interrupted as someone’s arm bumps harshly into yours. Azriel’s eyes narrow in a glare, instinctively wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you into him. 

“I'm okay, don’t worry.” He looks down at the hand that’s found its way to his arm, squeezing it comfortingly. “Good. She didn’t even apologise.” Azriel would like to blame the mating bond for his protectiveness, but, truthfully, he’d been this protective before the bond even snapped. 

You started walking, smiling once again. Azriel could still feel the anger boiling in his gut, his attentive eyes noting the shadows that swirled around your ankles, watching with a grimace as they continued to rise and slowly envelope you in darkness. 

Return to me. 

They rise quicker, your legs hidden. You’ve stopped in your tracks, eyes flitting up to look at Azriel curiously. 

Return to me. Now.

They wrap around your waist and you move away from the busy sidewalk. “Azriel? What’s going on?” He grits his teeth, your voice an echo in his head as he tries to regain his composure. 

Listen. Return.

They begin to wrap around your arms, almost your whole body shrouded in darkness. Your eyes, thankfully not panicked, scour the streets, looking for the danger that could explain why Azriel’s shadows were acting up. 

Enough. Go. 

His shadows hesitated around your frame, the icy chill of Azriel’s voice reminding them who their commander was. One by one, Azriel watched them slip away and into the darkness, banished into a space where they couldn’t interact with him or anyone else for the time being. 

“I-I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened.” His voice was raw, cheeks flushing and eyes moving everywhere but your own. Your smile is filled with adoration and understanding. Azriel was too blinded by his nervousness to see it. “It’s okay. Let’s go get lunch.”

 ๋࣭ ⭑

Azriel was going crazy. Sitting in the corner of the room, his hands clench and unclench as he watches you. The dim lighting in the living room does enough to hide Azriels shadows from everyone else. 

The moment you entered the room, his heart rate picked up and his shadows sharted flitting around the room erratically. Since then, he’s attempted to momentarily ignore you in a desperate hope to slow the beating of his heart and leash his shadows. 

“How…is your garden going? Did you plant those Dasies you got?” Azriel mutters distractedly, eyes still on you even as he talks to Elain. Her candy-like voice reaches his ears and he forces himself to look at her. 

“My garden’s going well! The daises really suit the rest of the garden. The white is a nice contrast with the buttercups-”

“Azriel, what the fuck?” Cassian’s confused voice cuts Elain off from her passionate rambling, his head snapping to look at him from where he sits next to you, hand raised above your shoulder like he was about to touch you. 

But he can’t. Azriel’s eyes move from Cassian's confused, worried ones and down his arm to watch the shadows swirl around his arm and hand. The shadows are physically preventing Cassian from placing his hand on your shoulder. They wrap around tighter and tighter until Cassian’s face twitches in pain. 

“You’re gonna have to explain this, Az,” Cassian teases, shaking out his arm. His voice was light, but his eyes flickered with genuine concern.

“Enough,” He muttered through clenched teeth, voice low in command. The trembling shadows obeyed, shooting away from Cassian's figure and back to Azriel, swirling around his ear as they whispered apologies in hopes of subduing the anger of their master. 

They don’t stay by him for long, Azriel’s nervousness growing as the eyes of his family lock onto him. His shadows reflect his anxiety, darting from corners of the room and swirling around bodies. As a shadow twirls around Rhysand’s neck once again, Azriel stands up abruptly. 

“I need to go,” Is all he mutters before leaving for the House of Wind with a brutal tug on his shadows, ensuring they follow his orders. 

What in the cauldron was wrong with him?

  ๋࣭ ⭑

“What’s wrong with you?” The question quite literally stuns Azriel in silence. He’d been locked up in his room for days now, trying meditating tactics to calm his shadows - even going to Madja to see if she could help in any way. She couldn’t. He hadn’t seen you in days, and, despite the desperate longing in his chest, he’d rather it be that he doesn’t see you instead of embarrassing himself. Again. 

You’d grown worried in his absence, constantly asking your family if they’d heard from him. Cassian had grown sick of your constant questions and offered to fly you up to the House of Wind himself. 

You had happily taken him up on the offer, leading to you now standing in Azriels room, hands on your hips as you inspect his tense stance and flushed cheeks. “What’s wrong?” You repeat again, eyes narrowed as his shadows leave his side, seemingly darker than usual.

You’re still not used to how vulnerable he looks when his shadows aren’t around him. He looks so lost, hands fidgeting in front of him while his wide, brown eyes watch as his shadows leave him. 

“Nothing’s wrong…My shadows are just acting up.” His eyes flit to the ground, folding his arms against his chest to stop his nervous fidgeting. “I’m sorry if I’ve been worrying you. I just needed to figure out what’s wrong with them.”

You smile apologetically, pulling him into a hug so you can feel his warm body against yours. Warmth coats your skin and you bite your lip to stop yourself from saying something stupid like ‘I love you.’ 

A shadow slinking up the wall catches your eye. “Um…” You mutter, still hugging him tightly. “I didn’t know your shadows could create shapes and stuff.” You feel him pull away, albeit hesitantly. He turns to look at where you’re pointing, a quiet curse slipping from his lips. 

There, against the wall, rests a lone shadow, the darkness taking the form of a clawed hand, desperately reaching out to your own shadow, formed by the dim fae lights. It’s almost sad how it fights to get closer, yanking at invisible chains, stretching its long fingers in an attempt to touch you. 

Azriel sucks in a sharp breath, placing a strict yet gentle hand on your back and slowly pushing you out of his room, all the while rambling. “I don’t know what’s happening.” Push. “You need to leave.” Push. “-what?-”  “I’ll talk to you later.” Push.  “-wait-” With one more push, you’re standing outside his room. 

You nod in defeat, your protests ignored.  “I’ll come and see you after my date tomorrow night.” He quite literally freezes in the doorway. “Date?” Before you can say anything, his shadows swarm around behind him, slinking behind gaps to reach you. The swarm around his wings, the darkest they’ve ever been. They seem to lash out, yanking at his hair. 

He slams the door before the shadows can reach you. A quiet curse and thump is heard from the other side. You can faintly see a shadow slithering between the gap in the door before it’s yanked back. 

Oh. Your heart is still racing at what just happened. He’s left you standing there in a pool of nervousness, anxious fingers attacking your nails as you debate whether or not you should knock on the door and ask if he’s okay. 

You decide against it. 

  ๋࣭ ⭑

The evening was interesting enough. The good-looking male was nothing short of kind. He had opened doors for you, pulled out your chair and bought you flowers. The warm glow of the candles at each table along with the gentle jazz music helped put your mind at ease, despite being on a date with a man you knew you could never truly love. 

You smile politely at the male's joke, sipping your wine, knowing deep in your heart that something is missing. Azriel had stolen your heart years ago, practically yanked it out of your chest and refused to return it. No matter how many males you talk to or sleep with, no one could replace him. 

“So you work for the High Lord and High Lady?” He asks curiously. You nod, playing with your food. “Yeah, I have a range of roles but I’m mostly a diplomat.” His smile was kind and attentive, nodding along as a sign for you to keep talking. “I-It’s a fun job. They’re like my family and I’d do anything for them.” 

“I have a feeling you’d do anything for a lot of people, wouldn’t you? You seem sweet.” His hand reaches out, fingers gently grazing yours before completely holding your hand, fingers lacing between yours. 

His hand feels weird. Too soft. You crave the rough scars that should be grazing against your palm. The tight way Azriel holds your hand (when he dares to; usually with the excuse that you’re in danger). 

“Thank you-”

The air shift is subtle but you notice it almost immediately. The temperature dropped, a chill slinking up your spine despite the warmth of the restaurant. You glance around, suddenly aware of how shadows deepen in the corners of the room. 

“Do you want my jacket?” Your date asks, brows furrowing as he notes the goosebumps trailing up your arm. “No. Thank you.” You smile, trying to return your attention back to the conversation at hand but it's captured by the flickering light in front of you. The flame of the candle danced erratically, as though it was caught in an invisible wind. 

Then you felt it. 

A wisp of darkness slipped between you and your date's hand. You gasp, yanking your hand back to your side with a speeding heart. The shadow didn’t stay away from you for long, slithering around your wrist tightly and anchoring itself to you. 

“Are you okay?” He asked, leaning closer and inspecting your face. You nod, laughing awkwardly. “Yeah, everything’s fine-”

Before you could finish your sentence, the shadows surge. 

First, they twist around your ankle, raising up and up until your legs feel trapped, so tightly surrounded by shadows it feels restricting. Then they move to your arms, twisting until you can barely move them, pressed to your side and unwilling to move. 

“I- I need to go. I’m sorry.” Panic ceases as you struggle to stand, your heart beating faster while the shadows grip tighter. You ignore the protests of your date, sending an apologetic smile while you walk out, the shadows loosening up enough for you to move your legs. 

Though they loosen around your legs, their grip on your arms grows tighter by the minute. It’s constricting, suffocating even. As you scavenge to find the leader of these shadows, your panic worsens. You. Can’t. Move. Your. Arms. 

You search the bustling streets for any sign of Azriel, figuring he’d be close since his shadows were. But, after ten minutes of looking, and fresh rain dripping down your clothes, you try to find another way. 

You lift your arm to your mouth, whispering desperately, “Get Azriel.” The shadow shoots away in seconds, rushing off into the distance while you find a bench to sit on, uncaring of the rain that pours freely. 

After a few minutes of waiting in the cool rain, the loud flap of wings is the first of Azriel to greet you. Next, it's the shout of your name as he rushes towards you. He abruptly stops in front of you, eyes blown wide as he takes in the sight of his shadows slithering over your body like a snake. 

“What-”

“Get them off. I can barely feel my arms.” Your glare is lethal, the numb feeling in your arms getting stronger. His eyebrows furrow in worry, eyes squeezing shut in an attempt to focus. “Stop.” 

Everything halts at once. The shadows stop moving, returning to their owner hesitantly. “I am-” He shakes his head, any ounce of frustration leaving his body as soon as his eyes meet yours. “I am so sorry. They’ve been so out of control recently. I was so absorbed in my own thoughts I didn’t even notice they were gone.”

“They interrupted-”

“Calduron, did they hurt you? I’m so sorry-"

“-Stop Azriel.” He halts, eyes looking down in shame. “This whole thing has been getting out of hand. I was on a date, Azriel. What’s going on? This has never happened before.” You place a hand on his cheek, forcing him to look into your eyes as he speaks. 

“I’m really sorry. I hope they didn’t hurt you. They’ve been acting up ever since the mating bond snapped and I don't know how to control it- They get so protective over you because I feel so protective. I’m trying to control it, I just think, because the bond just recently snapped they’re unsure of how to act around you-”

“The what now?” Your breathing stutters, your voice cracking in nervousness as you try to absorb everything he just said. Mating bond? He’s your mate? The one you’ve loved for so long is your mate?

“The-” He steps away, flinching when he processes what he’s said. Turning his back to you, he looks the part of a fallen angel, wings drooped, shoulders hunched while rain drips down his wings. “The mating bond,” he whispers in defeat. 

You take a slow, timid step towards him. “The mating bond?” Your heart skips a beat, breathing ragged as a strange feeling warms your chest. A phantom string tugs at your heart, connecting you to your one true love. “The mating bond.” You say more confidently, a tentative hand reaching out to touch Azriel’s shoulder.  

His back relaxes at your touch, head moving to look at you over his muscled shoulder. “I need you. So badly. I need you like the air I breathe. Please, if you’re going to turn me down do it quickly.”

You shake your head, shaking hand moving to his chin, turning him so he’s facing you. “Who says I don’t need you the way you need me? I’ve loved you for so long. I’m ecstatic to be your mate?” 

Rain drips from his hair and down his nose. You quickly wipe it away. His scarred hands move to your cheeks and he does the same for you, brushing the rain away from your face like he were protecting a precious painting. 

“You love me?” His eyes, so filled with love and hope have your heart melting. 

“Of course I do, honey.” 

“I love you too.” 

You smile, heart so full you feel like it could burst. “Then kiss me.” 

He does just that, warm, soft lips grazing against yours cautiously. He pulls away, eyes looking into yours. When he sees nothing but glee, he dips his head to kiss you again, this time more ferociously. All the longing and desperation he had been withholding leaked out in one kiss, the cold rain barely noticed in the warmth of the kiss. 

He pulls away, gasping for breath as his forehead falls against yours. Shadows return once again, trailing up your back, through your hair and wrapping around your arms causing you to gasp. “You're mine,” He mutters. 

“I’m yours.”

The shadows dance in joy. 

[riversenchanted]

Where you are most powerful based on your Pluto placement

Each placement of Pluto brings its unique energy to the themes of power and transformation, influencing how individuals navigate their lives and respond to the challenges they encounter.

Pluto 1st house/ Aries: Assertiveness, pioneering spirit, and leadership. Individuals may experience power through initiation, courage, and a desire to break new ground. These placements may find transformation through self-discovery and identity. There can be a strong drive to assert oneself and overcome obstacles.

Pluto 2nd house/Taurus: Material wealth, stability, and sensuality. Power may come through financial resources, values, and a connection to nature. Transformation may be found in redefining self-worth and material security. Individuals may undergo transformations in their relationship with possessions and comfort.

Pluto 3rd house/ Gemini: Communication, intellect, and social connections. Power may come through knowledge, adaptability, and networking. Transformation of ideas and beliefs. This placement may emphasize the importance of mastering communication and understanding dualities.

Pluto 4th house/ Cancer: Emotional depth, family, and nurturing. Power can be found in domestic life and emotional bonds. Transformation is found through emotional healing and transformation of family dynamics. Individuals may confront deep-seated emotional issues and redefine their sense of security.

Pluto 5th house/Leo: Creativity, self-expression, and leadership. Power may be expressed through artistic talents and personal charisma. Transformation of ego and personal identity. Individuals may need to confront their need for recognition and validation.

Pluto 6th house/Virgo: Service, analysis, and health. Power can be derived from attention to detail, organization, and practical skills. Transformation through work and self-improvement. Individuals may face issues related to perfectionism and health and need to find ways to overcome those obstacles.

Pluto 7th house/Libra: Relationships, balance, and harmony. Power is often found in partnerships and social interactions. Transformation of relationships and social dynamics. Individuals may confront issues of dependency, fairness, and justice.

Pluto 8th house/Scorpio: Deep emotional insight, Magnetism,Passion, exploring the taboo, sexuality. Those with this placement are equipped to navigate the complexities of life with intensity and purpose, often emerging as powerful agents of change in their own lives and the lives of others. Their journey is one of embracing both the light and dark aspects of existence, leading to a rich and transformative life experience.

Pluto 9th house/Sagittarius: Exploration, philosophy, and freedom. Power can come from a quest for knowledge and truth.Transformation of beliefs and worldviews. Individuals may seek to expand their horizons and challenge dogmas.

Pluto 10th house/Capricorn: Authority, structure, and ambition. Power may manifest through career achievements and societal status. Transformation of ambition and societal structures. Individuals may grapple with authority and their own ambitions.

Pluto 11th house / Aquarius: Innovation, humanitarianism, and individuality. Power can be derived from progressive ideas and social reform. Transformation of social norms and collective consciousness. Individuals may focus on breaking free from tradition and embracing change.

Pluto 12th house/ Pisces: Spirituality, intuition, and compassion. Power can be found in emotional depth and a connection to the mystical.Transformation through spirituality and surrender. Individuals may confront issues related to escapism, addiction, and emotional healing.

[astrologydray]

Astrology Indicators 2 ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Astrology Indicators of a Powerful Manifestor ✨🔮

• Pluto in the 1st or 10th house – Strong willpower; can transform their reality through sheer focus.

• Jupiter in the 1st or 8th house – Naturally lucky; attracts abundance effortlessly.

• Neptune in the 10th or 12th house – Visionary energy; dreams often become reality.

• Mercury conjunct Pluto – Words and thoughts have immense power; what they speak manifests.

• Sun or Moon in the 8th house – Deep subconscious connection to energy and transformation.

• Venus in the 9th or 10th house – Attracts opportunities, wealth, or fame with ease.

• North Node in the 2nd or 10th house – Destiny tied to success, wealth, or materializing goals.

Astrology Indicators of Being a Natural Heartbreaker 💔✨

• Venus square/opposite Pluto – Love feels intense and transformative; people become obsessed.

• Lilith in the 7th house – Attracts partners who are deeply drawn to them but may fear their power.

• Pluto in the 1st house – A magnetic presence that makes a lasting impact on people.

• Venus in Scorpio – Love is all or nothing, but when it’s over, it hurts.

• Uranus in the 7th house – Unpredictable love life; people never feel like they fully have them.

• Mars in Pisces – Hard to pin down, dreamy energy that makes people fantasize about them.

• Neptune conjunct Venus – Romanticized and idealized by others, even after the relationship ends.

• South Node in the 7th house – Relationships feel karmic, and past lovers often can’t move on.

Astrology Indicators of a Highly Intuitive Person 🔮✨

• Moon in the 12th house – Absorbs energy from the unseen realm; strong psychic senses.

• Neptune in the 1st or 12th house – Highly sensitive to vibes; can pick up on unspoken emotions.

• Mercury in Pisces or the 12th house – Thinks in symbols and gut feelings rather than logic.

• Pluto aspecting the Moon – Emotionally intense and able to see through people’s facades.

• South Node in the 8th or 12th house – Carries wisdom from past lives; has an innate knowing.

• Water Sign Dominance (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces) – Deep emotional intelligence and instinctual awareness.

• Chiron in the 1st or 12th house – A natural healer who senses pain in others before it’s spoken.

• Venus or Neptune in the 8th house – Intuition is strongest in love, money, and hidden matters.

Astrology Indicators of Someone Who Changes People’s Lives Just by Existing ✨🔮

• Pluto in the 1st house – A powerful presence that forces people to transform just by being around them.

• Uranus in the 1st house – Disrupts the status quo and inspires others to embrace their individuality.

• Neptune in the 1st house – People project their dreams, emotions, and even healing onto them.

• Lilith conjunct ASC or MC – A rebellious, untamed energy that challenges societal norms.

• Pluto aspecting Sun or Moon – Brings deep, sometimes uncomfortable transformation to those closest to them.

• North Node in the 1st or 10th house – Their life path naturally places them in a role where they influence others.

• Chiron in the 1st or 10th house – A walking healer; people feel changed just by knowing them.

• Venus or Jupiter aspecting Pluto – A rare mix of charm and intensity that makes a lasting impact.

Astrology Indicators of Someone Who’s Meant to Be Famous ⭐️✨

• Venus or Jupiter conjunct the MC – Charismatic, likable, and naturally attracts public admiration.

• Uranus aspecting the MC – Gains fame unexpectedly or for being unique and ahead of their time.

• Sun in the 10th house – A natural-born leader whose identity is tied to public recognition.

• Leo Rising or Sun in the 1st house – Magnetic presence that draws attention effortlessly.

• North Node in the 10th house – Life purpose is tied to public recognition and success.

• Pluto aspecting the MC – Gains power and influence through their career or public persona.

• Midheaven in Leo or Aquarius – Either a star in the traditional sense (Leo) or famous for being unconventional (Aquarius).

• 11th house placements (especially Venus or Jupiter) – Gains popularity through social networks and the internet.

[illyrianbitch]

In Every Universe

Pairing: Reader x Azriel, Minor Elain x Lucien

Summary: Elain catches you asking Azriel if you're destined to be together in every universe.

Warnings: mostly fluff, pining, soulmatism, brief mentions of violence/blood/death, elain as your no.1 shipper, elucien being sweet

Word Count: 3.9k

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹

The wood of the doorframe was rough beneath Elain’s fingers as she lingered in the opening.

Elain loved the Day Court—the sun-kissed glow of her skin, the endless warmth that felt like home. But every now and then, it was healing to return to her family, to see them, to know they were okay. Visits to the Night Court with Lucien at her side were rare since they’d started their family, but they always felt meaningful. There was a peace in these nights, a quiet place to rest and breathe. And sometimes, it gave her this: a glimpse of the people she loved, caught in the small, unspoken ways they cared for one another.

The room was quiet, save for the soft hum of the celestial device. Feyre had told her about it, but Elain’s mind had forgotten to store away the proper name. She blamed it on her pregnancy brain at the time of the conversation. The device glowed as it slowly spun, scattering faint patterns of light over you and Azriel as you stood together, watching in awe. 

It was slightly ironic to Elain that she was able to sneak up and observe such an intimate moment without Azriel, the most-feared Spymaster, noticing. But, in all truth, she wasn’t entirely surprised. You and Azriel had your own world, held moments that seemed like they existed only for you two—even Azriel’s shadows became something else entirely, something distracted and completely enamored with you. 

“It’s… beautiful,” you said, the words reverent. “Gods, what a wonder we live in.”

Azriel hummed a sound that sounded a lot like agreement— like complete contentment. Elain recognized it slightly, almost felt compelled to compare it to the cat that Vassa and Jurian had dubbed the true ruler of the mortal lands. She stifled a laugh at the thought. 

You pointed at something—a star, perhaps—and said something Elain couldn’t hear, your voice too soft. Azriel tilted his head toward you and his shadows swirled around you both, gentle and calm tendrils wrapping themselves through the edges of your hair strands. Azriel murmured something back, and though Elain couldn’t catch the words, she saw the way they made you smile.

There was no hesitation in his movements as he reached out, scarred fingers brushing a strand of hair from your face. His touch was light, practiced, and it made him look entirely at home. Of course it did. He’d done it a hundred times before. You didn’t flinch or startle—didn’t even pause. Instead, you tilted into him slightly, the curve of your smile deepening.

Elain’s heart blossomed. She wondered, for a brief, fleeting moment, if anyone had seen such moments with her and Lucien– wondered if her eyes glowed just like yours. 

Azriel shifted his gaze to you, and Elain could have sworn she watched his eyes dilate even from feet away. His thumb grazed your temple as he asked, “What are you thinking about?”

You leaned into the brush of his fingers. “Oh, it’s nothing.”

“Nothing?” Azriel repeated, amused. His thumb drew a lazy circle across your skin. “I can practically see the gears turning in there.”

A laugh. You shrugged, and a glimmer of amusement sparkled in your eyes. “It just makes me wonder.”

“About?”

Elain found herself leaning forward slightly, awaiting your answer as if she had been talking to you herself. You casted a glance back at the device before you. 

 “What else is out there, you know?” You tilted your head in contemplation, and Azriel pulled you into a soft embrace as you continued, “And that Bryce girl. I mean, if there are other worlds like hers, do you think…”

Azriel wrapped his arms around your center, placing an affectionate kiss to your clothed shoulder. Then, he placed his head into the crook of your neck. “Do I think what, my love?’

You turned your head to meet his eyes. “Do you think we’re together in each of them?”

He didn’t answer immediately, his silence thoughtful rather than hesitant. 

And then the room began to shift. Or maybe it was just Elain. She stood up straighter and took a deep breath as the device before you both blurred, its golden light fracturing into something softer, quieter— a divine invitation. 

Elain let herself be pulled through.

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 

The cannon fire echoed like thunder. 

One, then another, and another still. 

Azriel’s head tilted. “Two,” he murmured. “Close.”

You couldn’t move, couldn’t even breathe. Your mind raced through the possibilities—faces you’d seen only hours ago. A girl in the meadow. That boy with the scar. Maybe someone who’d deserved it. Maybe someone who hadn’t.

“So that makes it five.” You gripped the hilt of your blade tighter, sweat slipping down your palm. “Besides us, there's only five left.”

Azriel was quiet. 

“Come on,” he said, already turning. “You need to head east, away from the canons. I’ll lead them away from you.”

You caught his wrist. It was instinct, almost violent, and your nails dug into his skin. “No.”

He stopped. Turned back slowly, and furrowed his brow. “What do you mean, ‘no’?”

“I’m not leaving you behind. We finish this together. You can’t keep putting yourself—”

“I can,” he cut in, voice cold. “And I will.”

“I won’t let you.”

Something cracked in his expression then. His lips parting like he wanted to argue, like he was ready to fight.

“Let me?” he repeated, his voice low. Dangerous. “You don’t get to decide that.”

“And you don’t get to decide for me.”

There was a silence that filled the space between you. Your hand, still wrapped around his wrist, softened into something almost reminiscent of a lover's hold. 

“Don’t make me watch you die,” you said finally. “Don’t do that to me, Azriel.”

His eyes softened just enough to hurt.

“I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you alive.”

“Why?” Your voice cracked, but you didn’t care. “You can win this. You know you can. Why throw away your chances for me?”

His mouth opened, then closed. He exhaled sharply, shaking his head like the words were too heavy to say. But when his gaze met yours, there was no hesitation.

“You know why.”

You shook your head. “No—”

“It’s the same reason you killed that girl from six.” His voice was quiet. “For me.”

You didn’t deny it. You couldn’t. His hand, warm and calloused, brushed the back of your fingers.

“So don’t ask me to stop,” he said. “The capitol has taken so much from me. They’ve destroyed everything I cared about.  I won’t let them take you.  Not while I’m still breathing.”

A loud crack sounded in the distance. The world shifted again, a soft breeze carrying with it a sky speckled with stars.

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹

Cicada songs threaded through the air like an ancient hymn. You sat near the embers of a dying fire, the orange glow licking against the edges of the stone walls surrounding you. 

Azriel sat a few paces away, his back resting against one of the columns. His tunic was simple, sandals dusty from the day’s travel, but there was something about the way he held himself that made him seem as much a part of the night as the stars overhead.

“Do you think they truly listen?” you asked him.

Azriel’s gaze flicked to you. “The gods?” 

You nodded, not sparing him a glance. Your eyes were glued to the heavens above, to the glistening stars that seemed to be leaning closer, listening.

“They hear everything,” he responded. “The question is whether they care.”

You turned to him then, the corner of your lips twitching into the faintest hint of a smile. “You don’t honor them?”

Azriel’s eyes scanned your face before he responded simply, “I’ve been given no reason to.”

“And you aren’t afraid of angering them?”

“I’m afraid of man more than I am of the gods.”

A flicker passed through your face, something thoughtful, contemplative. “What would you pray for, if you thought they did listen?”

For a moment, he didn’t answer. His scarred hands rested on his knees, the firelight painting shadows across them. There was a weight in his silence, a deliberation that pressed against the edges of the night. Finally, he spoke, his voice quieter than before, almost a confession.

“I’d ask them to leave us be. To let us live without their meddling.”

You studied him. The sincerity of his words seemed to tug at something in your chest. “You think they’d grant a prayer like that?”

Azriel’s lips curved into a small, wry smile. “No,” he said simply. “But I’d still ask.”

You huffed a small laugh, shaking your head. “Stubborn,” you murmured, though your tone was warm.

When he fell silent again, you observed him once more. “What else is on your mind?”

Azriel didn’t answer right away. His gaze turned back to the fire, as if searching for something in its depths. “You could be one.”

You blinked at him, thrown. “One what?”

“A god,” he said, his eyes shifting to meet yours. “A proper one. A kind one.”

Your chest tightened, nerves prickling at the edges of your mind. “Azriel,” you said, your voice low, almost a warning. “Don’t say that.”

“Why not?” he asked. “If I can see it, do you think they can’t?”

You glanced up at the stars, as if expecting them to strike him down then and there. “Because it’s not for us to claim,” you whispered. “And because it’s not true.”

Azriel leaned in slightly. “It is true,” he said, as though daring you to contradict him. “You stand apart. You always have.”

“Azriel—” 

“I mean it,” he said, his voice softening. “If they did listen, if they cared, they’d envy what I see in you.”

You didn’t know how to answer. Azriel reached out then, his scarred hand brushing a strand of hair from your face. You swallowed hard.

“And what of you?” You asked. “If I’m to be a god, would you be one, too?”

He shook his head and a sweet smile made its way onto his face. His brows furrowed softly. Your fingers twitched as if you ached to smooth the crease between them.

“I think I was born to follow you.”

The fire light around you flickered, and the music of the cicadas began to reverberate, stretching and pulling like a ribbon in the wind. Soon, sounds began to fill the air—smooth instruments, slow and electric. 

Warping, stretching, bleeding into something else.

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹

You were perched on a velvet stool at the edge of the bar, watching the crush of dancers sway in time to the music. There was a faint scent of cigarette smoke that clung to the air, a smell that somehow mingled perfectly with the sharp tang of liquor and the sweetness of spilled champagne.

Azriel appeared beside you without a word. He wasn’t dressed to stand out— black suit, white shirt, no tie— but somehow, in the haze of golden light and shadow, he drew every glance. You adjusted the strap of your dress, the sequins catching what little light there was, throwing sparks of silver onto the walls. 

“You’ve been hiding,” he said. 

You turned your head to meet his gaze. There was something steady in it, like he’d been waiting for you to notice him. “I didn’t know I was being looked for.”

Azriel’s lips curved. “You always are.”

Your breath hitched, just enough to be noticeable, but you masked it with a sip of your drink— one with fading bubbles. “And here I thought I was just another face in the crowd.”

“Not to me,” Azriel said simply, as if it were the plainest fact on Earth. His gaze didn’t leave yours. “Never to me.”

The band transitioned into a slower tune, the saxophone drawing out a melody that made your face soften. You looked down to hide your growing smile, cheeks now rosy from Az’s attention.

“You’re not dancing,” he noted, eyes flicking briefly to the crowded floor. 

“I don’t know if it's the right night for that.”

“Maybe you just need the right partner.”

The suggestion hung in the air, and when he held out his hand— scarred, steady— you didn’t hesitate to take it. He led you to the dance floor with a gentle hold, drawing you into his arms. 

“You didn’t have to come find me,” you murmured, your gaze tracing the lines of his face.

Azriel’s eyes softened, and the corners of his mouth lifted into a soft smile. “I’ll always find you.”

The music slowed, and the world softened with it.

And then, the light dimmed, fading into the deep, quiet shadows of something colder, untouched, an air heavy with the scent of pine and earth.

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 

Two wolves emerged from the shadows, moving together, their coats brushing in fleeting touches. It was a quiet language— small movements of instinct and closeness. One was a shadow itself, dark fur absorbing the moonlight. The other was lighter, sleek and graceful, its movements quieter but no less assured.

The darker wolf paused, tilting its head toward its companion, a huff of warm breath visible in the chilled air. The lighter one hesitated, then stepped closer, nuzzling its muzzle against the dark wolf’s neck, a gesture of comfort—or reassurance. The dark wolf stilled at the touch, its golden-hazel eyes half-closing as if the simple act of connection mattered more than the world around them.

And then it turned, moving quietly into the heavy, shrouded forest. The lighter wolf turned to follow the dark one, glancing back only once before disappearing into the trees.

A sharp shift—the silence of the forest soon replaced by the soft crunch beneath leather winter boots.

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 

You and Azriel approached the house ahead, its exterior draped in a plethora of colorful Christmas lights. The world was still, save for the muffled laughter drifting from inside, and you pulled your coat tighter against the cold.

“We’re late,” you murmured, quickening your step.

Azriel let out a quiet laugh. “I doubt they mind.”

You shot him a pointed look, but Azriel only chuckled again. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer as he pressed a soft kiss to your temple.When you reached the door, your hand had barely touched the handle before Azriel stopped you, his hand brushing yours. You glanced up at him, frowning, only to catch the cheeky grin tugging at his lips as he tilted his chin toward the frame.

There, hanging above the doorway, was a sprig of mistletoe.

“Mistletoe,” you said with a sweet hum. You met Azriel’s eyes.

“Cassian or Nesta?” He asked.

“Definitely Nesta,” you said. “She loves her romance.”

He nodded in agreement. “It is a romantic tradition.”

Azriel stepped closer, lifting a hand to cradle your face as he kissed you—soft and unhurried, like he had all the time in the world. When he pulled back, your cheeks warmed under his gaze, his forehead brushing yours as he whispered, “I love you.”

The words were soft, meant just for you.

“I love you, t—”

The door sprang open and a shrieking voice filled the air with an excited, “Momma!”

You barely had time to turn before your son barreled into your arms, his eyes bright and his arms outstretched. You caught him easily, lifting him with a grin.

“Hi, sweetheart.”

“Hey, buddy,” Azriel said, leaning over to ruffle his messy curls. His mini-me only giggled and nuzzled deeper into the crook of your neck. A true momma’s boy. From inside, more laughter echoed, and Cassian appeared around the corner, grinning wide as he carried your daughter—upside down—by her ankles. Her delighted shrieks filled the house.

“Cassian!” you called, trying to suppress a laugh.

“What? She loves it!” Cassian shot back, clearly pleased with himself.

“Put her down,” you said, stepping inside as Azriel snorted behind you.

Cassian finally relented, lowering her to the ground. She didn’t hesitate, darting forward to wrap her arms around Azriel. She barely reached his hip, and he crouched slightly, holding her close like it was second nature.

“Sorry we’re late,” you said, closing the door. You wiped your shoes on the matt below you. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Nesta’s voice said, drifting into the room before she rounded the corner from the kitchen. Her hair was in a loose bun, a steaming cup of tea in her hands. She stopped at Cassian’s side, offering her husband a small nudge. “Our date nights always run late too.”

Her daughter trailed behind her, blue eyes already half-rolling. "Yeah. We need to talk about punctuality in this family."

She breezed past you and Azriel, offering you both quick hello’s before darting up the stairs.

Nesta rolled her eyes, but the action was affectionate. Comfortable. “Teenagers,” she muttered. Cassian slung an arm around her shoulders, grinning. “She’s going through a phase.”

“Heard that!” came a sharp voice from upstairs.

You stifled a laugh, glancing at Azriel. His eyes widened slightly, and the corner of his mouth tugged into a crooked, almost reluctant smile—amused, exasperated, and entirely Azriel.

Nesta gestured toward your son, now half-asleep against your shoulder, and your daughter, who was eagerly tugging Azriel toward the living room to show off the fort her and Cassian had made. “Enjoy this,” Nesta said with a smirk. “While it lasts.”

A dreamy smile spread across your face as you watched them. “Oh, Nes,” you said softly. “I plan to enjoy it all.”

The room seemed to shimmer, the sounds of laughter melting into something darker, quieter. 

And then, without warning, the world changed.

Cold. Hollow. Dark.

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 

“God, you look beautiful.”

You turned to Azriel, breathless, a wicked grin pulling at your lips. His golden-hazel eyes burned as they swept over you, lingering on the streaks of blood splattered across your cheek. 

“You really think so?” you hummed, stepping closer, boots crunching against the broken glass scattered across the floor. The room reeked of iron and fear, the man slumped against the wall choking on his last breaths.

Azriel tilted his head, his shadows twisting and curling at his feet like they were alive, waiting for a command. “I’d argue you’ve never looked more stunning.”

Your grin grew, something divinely sinful, and you pulled the gun from the back of your waistband. The barrel gleamed in the dim light. “Would you like the honors, my love?”

Azriel’s hand brushed yours as he took the gun— perfectly smooth skin speckled in streaks of red. “Of course.”

The man whimpered as Azriel crouched before him, his shadows licking at the edges of the room, swallowing the light. You didn’t flinch, didn’t look away as Azriel tilted the man’s chin with the barrel, his voice low and almost tender. You seemed proud, even. Powerful.

“You should’ve known better.”

With a single, swift pull of the trigger, it was over. Azriel stood, wiping the gun against his pants before turning back to you.

“The others are all yours,” he murmured, his free hand brushing a strand of hair from your face, smearing blood across your temple.

“And they said romance was dead,” you said, leaning into his touch.

Azriel grinned, and for a moment, the bloodlust that had overtaken the room seemed to fade. He pulled you close, lips crashing onto yours in a brutal, animalistic kiss. When you finally pulled away, breathless and wild, Azriel’s gaze was sharp—hungry. His eyes gleamed with something darker now.

“You’re the only one who ever understands,” he whispered.

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 

“Elain?”

Elain gasped and snapped back to the present, her body slightly recoiling like a thread once strung tight. She blinked and turned her head, watching the beautiful face of her mate come into focus. His eyes were fixed on her, that familiar gleam in them.

“Hmm?”

A smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “Where did you just disappear to?” 

Lucien’s hand gently swept her curly hair over her shoulder, exposing her neck, and allowed his palm to settle there— fingers brushing lightly against her skin, thumb grazing the underside of her jaw. Elain melted into the touch. 

The remnants of her vision— of that twisted, vicious kiss between you and Azriel– still lingered at the edges of her mind, making her uneasy. But it was already fading, like a bad dream melting away in the morning light, as she looked at Lucien. The warmth of his touch steadied her, grounding her back into the reality of this life— something far less terrifying, far more full of light. Elain let her mind wander to the other thing she’d seen, to the cicada songs and the mistletoe. 

“Let me tell you later.”

Lucien’s smile softened in that kind way that made Elain’s heart feel full, like it might spill over.  “Alright,” he said.

“Oh, Elain, Lucien!”

Your voice broke the quiet, pulling their attention toward you as you approached, Azriel in tow. His shadows moved faster than he did, twisting around you in fluid motions, draping themselves over your limbs like they were part of you instead of the shadowsinger himself.

“Have you been here for long?” You asked as you met them at the doorway. “I’m so sorry we didn’t notice. We were in our own world.”

Azriel greeted her and Lucien with a small smile. But, as usual, his eyes drifted to you immediately, brightening in their glow as he watched you.

“No, no,” Lucien answered, noticing Elain hadn’t responded yet. “We were just making our rounds.”

You beamed. “Well, you should take some time in here. It’s beautiful.”

“I wouldn’t want to interrupt,” Elain said softly.

You shook your head, glancing at Azriel for a moment before you leaned into him, placing a hand on his chest and giving it a light tap. “We’re actually about to leave. We’ve got reservations for our anniversary.”

“What does today mark?” Lucien asked.

Azriel’s voice was light as he wrapped an arm around you. “430 years.” 

“Can you believe he’s put up with me that long?” you said, a teasing smile on your lips.

Lucien laughed. “I’d say its the other way around.”

Azriel laughed, then, too, rolling his eyes in a way that seemed so brotherly that Elain’s smile almost split her cheeks in two.

“You’re meant for one another,” Elain found herself saying. “Happy anniversary.”

Azriel nodded in thanks as you smiled and moved to leave. He patted Lucien’s shoulder as he brushed past, and Elain let her gaze linger on your retreating forms for a moment, catching another small moment as Az cheekily smacked your ass, causing you to let out a small amused shriek and push him away.

For a moment, Elain was almost tempted to ask Lucien the same question you’d asked Azriel: Do you think we’re together in each life? But it was silly– fruitless, really. Because Elain knew, with certainty, that she’d find her loyal, flame-branded mate in every universe. In every form.

She’d seen it herself. 

So instead, Elain grabbed his hand, interlaced their fingers, and said, “Let’s admire our world.”

And as always, Lucien followed her without protest. 

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹

authors note:

I had a vision (tehehe) of this one shot and i dont think i did it justice but alas, here she is. also are you truly soulmates if you arent evil sociopathic villains in at least one universe? me thinks no

also fun fact, 5/6 of these au’s are scrapped ideas i’ve had🫣

thank you for reading <3

permanent tag list 🫶🏻 (this so desperately needs to be updated, i fear): 

@rhysandorian @itsswritten @milswrites @lilah-asteria @georgiadixon

@glam-targaryen @cheneyq @darkbloodsly @pit-and-the-pen @azrielsbbg

@evergreenlark @marina468 @azriels-human @book-obsessed124 @bubybubsters

@starswholistenanddreamsanswered @feyretopia  @ninthcircleofprythian @velariscalling @azrielrot

@justyouraveragekleemain @marigold-morelli @mrsjna @anarchiii @alittlelostalittlefound-blog

@melissat1254 @secretsicanthideanymore

@m4tthewmurd0ck @beardburnsupersoldiers @isnotwhatyourethinking @tothestarsandwhateverend @raginghellfire

@angel-graces-world-of-chaos @paradisebabey

azriel tag list🫶🏻:

@thisiskaylin @serrendiipty @acourtofsteelandthunder  @mortqlprojections @ushijima-stits 

[rainydetectiveglitter]

Where You Feel Restricted & How to Overcome It

Saturn in the Houses

Saturn doesn't hand out anything for free. It rules discipline, restriction, and life’s hardest lessons. Wherever Saturn sits in your chart, you feel blocked, delayed, or like you have to work twice as hard to get what comes easily to others.

But Saturn’s lessons aren’t about punishment—they’re about mastery. If you push through the struggle, this is where you build unshakable strength.

Saturn in the 1st House ⛓️

💀 The Restriction: You feel like you carry a heavy burden from birth. Maybe you grew up too fast, always feeling responsible, mature, or serious. Self-doubt is constant—you judge yourself harshly and struggle with confidence.

⚔️ How to Overcome It: You are meant to develop unshakable self-respect. Confidence won’t come overnight, but every time you take yourself seriously and trust your worth, you get stronger. Stop seeking outside validation. You don’t need anyone’s approval to exist.

Saturn in the 2nd House ⛓️

💀 The Restriction: You struggle with self-worth, financial stability, and feeling "enough." Maybe money never feels secure, or you work tirelessly without ever feeling like you deserve success. Even if you HAVE money, you might feel guilty spending it.

⚔️ How to Overcome It: Self-worth isn’t built on external validation. You must learn that you are valuable, even when you’re not producing, earning, or "proving" yourself. Money is a tool, not a prison—build a stable foundation, but don’t let fear control you.

Saturn in the 3rd House ⛓️

💀 The Restriction: You struggle with expressing yourself. Maybe you felt unheard as a child, doubted your intelligence, or have trouble voicing your needs. Learning might feel like an uphill battle.

⚔️ How to Overcome It: Structure your thoughts, find your voice, and trust your mind. Stop holding back out of fear of sounding "stupid"—your wisdom is earned, and when you speak, people listen.

Saturn in the 4th House ⛓️

💀 The Restriction: Home and family were cold, distant, or burdened with responsibility. You might feel emotionally guarded, disconnected, or like you had to raise yourself.

⚔️ How to Overcome It: You must build your own safe space. This might mean cutting toxic family ties, redefining what “home” means, or learning to trust emotional support. Healing your inner child is key.

Saturn in the 5th House ⛓️

💀 The Restriction: Fun feels like a waste of time. You struggle to let go, be playful, or enjoy yourself without guilt. Maybe you fear looking foolish or feel blocked creatively.

⚔️ How to Overcome It: Joy is NOT a luxury—it’s necessary. Give yourself permission to create without perfection, love without fear, and enjoy life without guilt. Play is productive.

Saturn in the 6th House ⛓️

💀 The Restriction: You feel trapped by responsibilities. Work and daily routines are exhausting. You might battle perfectionism, burnout, or chronic health issues.

⚔️ How to Overcome It: Balance is survival. You don’t have to "earn" rest—your body and mind need it. Productivity is important, but so is sustainability. Pace yourself.

Saturn in the 7th House ⛓️

💀 The Restriction: Relationships are heavy. You may fear commitment, attract karmic partners, or feel alone even when with someone. Trust doesn’t come easily.

⚔️ How to Overcome It: Love takes TIME. You’re not meant for surface-level relationships—you need something real. Learn to set boundaries, take commitment seriously, and trust that the right people will stay.

Saturn in the 8th House ⛓️

💀 The Restriction: You fear loss, change, and vulnerability. The idea of fully trusting someone (emotionally, financially, or sexually) terrifies you. Money may come with struggles (especially shared finances or inheritance).

⚔️ How to Overcome It: Death, loss, and change are inevitable. Instead of resisting transformation, lean into it. The more you embrace life’s cycles, the more powerful you become.

Saturn in the 9th House ⛓️

💀 The Restriction: Faith and belief systems feel rigid or blocked. You may struggle with dogma, feeling disconnected from purpose, or fearing the unknown.

⚔️ How to Overcome It: Knowledge is freedom. Keep learning, exploring, and questioning. Your wisdom isn’t found in blind faith—it’s built through experience.

Saturn in the 10th House ⛓️

💀 The Restriction: Success feels slow and exhausting. You might struggle with imposter syndrome, career setbacks, or heavy expectations.

⚔️ How to Overcome It: You are meant to build something lasting. Your success won’t be instant, but when it comes, it will be unshakable. Play the long game.

Saturn in the 11th House ⛓️

💀 The Restriction: Fitting in feels impossible. You may struggle with friendships, feel like an outsider, or attract older/serious social circles.

⚔️ How to Overcome It: You are NOT meant to blend in. You attract deep, meaningful connections—quality over quantity. Find people who truly align with your values.

Saturn in the 12th House ⛓️

💀 The Restriction: You feel trapped in your mind. Fears, anxieties, or self-sabotaging patterns keep you stuck. You might struggle with isolation or spiritual confusion.

⚔️ How to Overcome It: Your mind is a battlefield—but you CAN win. Healing, spirituality, and self-reflection are your tools. Learn to master your subconscious, and you’ll find deep inner power.

yuh

[myun-saidthoughts]

˗ˏˋ ⭐ ˎˊ˗ Astrology Observations ˗ˏˋ ⭐ ˎˊ˗

🌟 The placement of Pluto in your chart can reveal the theme of pain or transformation you might experience in this life—pain that serves as a catalyst for profound internal and mental shifts within yourself.

The depth of pain will be dependent on your own choices; if you choose to ignore red flags the harsher and more severe the wake up call would be.

Pluto in the 5th house: Struggles might emerge from overindulgence in impulsive or immature choices, such as gambling or seeking joy in fleeting pleasures (such as affairs or short term relationships). Poor choices may manifest because there's a need of deep inner child healing, which could cause deeper emotional wounds in the process. The extremes of choosing quick fun can lead into a habit of poor decision making.  Pluto in the 7th house: Challenges and transformative pain often arise through intimate romantic relationships, pushing you to confront deep-seated patterns and fears. If you keep choosing people who won't choose you or if you rely on others for a sense of self, identity or acceptance then the wake up call would be more prominent or severe. Pluto in the 11th house: Painful experiences may come through friendships or involvement in communities, leading to shifts in how you connect with and trust others. If you find yourself relying on others or seeking external validation through communities, friend groups, or social connections, the wake-up call may lead you to recognize your own worth and embrace yourself as you are, without needing acknowledgment from others. Pluto in the 12th house: Ignoring your psyche or mental struggles can lead to self-unraveling. The more you avoid or dismiss your internal mental health setbacks, the deeper and more painful the lessons will become. You may not even be aware of your emotional needs, but the longer you avoid confronting your sensitivity or past wounds—whether from childhood or relationships—the harder it will be to redefine your self-concept and belief system. You may even experience a revelation about yourself after overcoming depression or anxiety, which can help you understand yourself better. However, remember that being introspective and aware doesn't always mean you're truly feeling your feelings. You may know what to think or how to act, but it’s crucial to connect the emotions you've been holding onto with the feelings beneath them.

Pluto placed in less interactive houses may have a less intense theme, but if you also have Chiron in the same house, its influence can become much more prominent and life-changing, amplifying the potential for deep healing or painful growth.

🌟 If you have many inner planets in your 5th, 7th, or 8th house, you're more likely to seek out romantic connections, desire a partner, or long for one—even if you’ve experienced emotional turmoil in your childhood due to your parents or past partners.

🌟 If you have many inner planets in your 1st, 2nd, or 12th house, you’re less likely to be open to a connection. Subconsciously, you might desire or wish for someone to be “your person,” but you may never allow yourself to fully give in.

🌟 With 8th house synastry, the intensity of this connection swings between unspoken loyalty and complete avoidance—one extreme driven by the fear of showing disinterest, and the other by the fear of being a burden. If you’re not preoccupied with displaying your loyalty to them in a room full of people, you find yourself avoiding eye contact or minimizing conversation to maintain a facade of “normalcy”—a normalcy that doesn’t truly exist in this connection.

🌟 Pisces/Scorpio placements may have a strong tendency to seek deep emotional experiences during times of creativity. They often search for a specific feeling or emotional state as a catalyst to create art or writing.

🌟 Aquarius placements, especially Moon or Rising, often struggle with avoidance as one of their worst traits in any relationships they navigate—whether romantic, platonic, or even with themselves.

🌟 Scorpios are known for their extreme loyalty. Once they choose you, they are deeply committed and unlikely to leave unless a traumatic emotional blockage arises within the relationship.

🌟 Scorpio risings can have beautiful striking eyes, and because of that their eyes can heavily influence appearance. Their eyes may even become an ice breaker for conversations/be talked about a-lot.

🌟 Aries + Libra axis turnover rate when it comes to relationships is incredibly high. Moving on to the next can come naturally to them unless they have other placements that contradicts that tendency.

🌟 Air signs need intellectual stimulation; they need to feel excited and curious with you.

🌟 8th House placements (esp. Moon or Sun) or Scorpio placements are incredibly private towards the public. They naturally will not post on social media: no instagram stories, tweets, memes, their thoughts or feelings willingly and openly.

This is because

At a young age their needs, thoughts or wishes were ignored and pushed to the side for others sake and so they now have coped to never share their own inner thoughts or feelings to others.

They've been burned or hurt in the past by someone they've trusted, and now they don't share or openly state their true feelings outwardly towards others.

If they have a Taurus/Libra/Leo IC or Gemini/Sagittarius/placements then the chances of sharing themselves online is more likely.

🌟 In 8th/Pluto + 12th/Neptune house synastry connections, if you two are not on speaking terms sudden lows may occur when you're reminded of what was.

If it's been weeks or months since you've both talked and one random day they watch your story on your social media a sudden longing for them may come.

If you run into them and the conversation didn't amount to what you wished for, a low may come and you'll feel as if the relationship is completely over.

🌟 8th house synastry amounts to constant cycles and loops, if you're not wishing for them, you say you're over them.

There could be an emotional block between you two and the desire for them may diminish but If they look at you for one second the way they used too, the desire for them will arise as if the feeling never left.

🌟 In 12th house and Neptune synastry, you might covertly share song lyrics on your social media, hoping they’ll read them and sense that the lyrics are meant as a message for them. Instead of expressing your feelings face-to-face, posting these lyrics in a "hidden" way feels safer.

And if so, you yourself may wonder if anything they publicly post, say, or do is a secret message for you.

You may even go out of your way to somehow find a perfect song that depicts the relationship between you two and use that song as a indirect message to state your true feelings without having to outwardly verbalize them.

(The above statement is more true for those who have Pisces, 12th house, Neptune influence in their cart)

🌟 3rd house synastry creates ease with communication, especially if there's 4th house synastry as well, and if the planets involved are the Sun, Moon, or Venus.

🌟 For 12th house synastry to cause intense idealizations, thoughts, dreams, wishes or obsessiveness there has to be attraction involved, the more attracted you are to them the more you'll idealize them.

🌟 A Neptune/12th house person and a planet person can both experience intense desire, longing, or overthinking, but the way they process these feelings depends on their individual natal charts.

🌟 With 8th and 12th house synastry connections, you might never actually date the person, yet the emotions they evoke within you can feel as profound and intimate as if you had.

🌟 Neptune and 12th house synastry: "You are perfect for me; you feel like everything I could ever wish for in someone."

If you're avoidant, this feeling can be terrifying because it brings a sense of inadequacy, as if you could never live up to the idealized version of yourself they see. You'll long for them deeply, but the way they look at you may feel unsettling, foreign, or out of place. Even if they seem like your dream person, self-doubt can drive you to run. You might fear disappointing them or feel you’ll never measure up to the partner they deserve. You'll view them as some sort of prize from a distance and you'll search for them in other connections but you'll never allow yourself to choose them, not like they choose you.

If you're anxious, this feeling will strike a familiar chord, it'll resonate so deeply within and letting go will seem impossible. You'll feel this pull toward them, you'll feel as if they’re your muse, your catharsis, and you'll wish that they were your person. Even without words, you'll sense that they want you, and this silent connection will consume your thoughts. You’ll compare the way they make you feel to everyone else, and you'll search for that same intensity in other people's gazes. You’ll sit in your head, wondering if your wishes align with theirs, questioning if they feel the same. Over time, you’ll realize the emotions they stir in you are unmatched, which leads you to hold onto the connection longer than you should, you'll rather wish on the what could be's than accept what is.

🌟 Pisces or 12th house placements often turn to writing or art as a means of expressing their inner thoughts, feelings, and longings. The more they feel, the more their creativity flows.

🌟 If you have water placements or planets in water houses (4th, 8th, 12th), deep emotions are embedded within you. The more you avoid these feelings, the more likely physical symptoms such as anxiety or mental struggles will occur. It's your body’s way of processing the hidden emotions you’ve learned to suppress. These unaddressed feelings can manifest in subtle, physical ways, and it's a reflection of the emotional turmoil beneath the surface.

🌟 With 8th house synastry, the second and I mean very second there's a emotional block between you two the deep seated desire for them becomes less intense.

Ex: If you also share 12th house synastry with them, parts of their actions will feel like subtle hints that are meant for you, in essence you want to believe you are more important to them than others, and you feel like you are. But once something comes to light or if you were shown that what you thought to be wasn't the case, the realization creates emotional distance and the desire for them (in that moment) shrinks. It feels as if the importance that you thought your presence gave them suddenly means nothing, and from that feeling creates a instant "I'm never speaking to them again" mentality.

🌟 With the 12th house involved, their actions may reveal their actual character, and while you are able to clearly see these actions (in a objective sense), you might still feel deeply tied to the version of them you want to believe exists. You’ll observe their behavior yet convince yourself that someone better lies beneath the surface.

🌟 With 8th and 12th house synastry, there’s a part of you that feels you’ll never compare to anyone else they encounter. Even if you two never dated, there’s a deep sense that the way they feel when they’re with you is unmatched and it's something you intuitively will feel. It's likely that there will be no set actions or verbal affirmations to confirm this knowing.

[esotericalchemist]

𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐓𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐬 𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐀𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐬 ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

TikTok (Matrix of Destiny) - Masterlist - YouTube (subliminals)

The Ancestral Zone in the Matrix of Destiny reflects the karmic tasks and spiritual gifts passed down through generations. It reveals the lessons and patterns inherited from one’s lineage, offering guidance on how to heal, grow, and fulfill ancestral expectations. Each energy in this zone carries unique wisdom, such as fostering love, breaking cycles, or embracing transformation. By understanding these influences, one can honor their heritage, align with their purpose, and create a positive legacy for future generations.

Calculate your Matrix of Destiny here:

Matrix of Destiny calculator

( if that one does not work, use the following link: alternative calculator)

Where to look?

2 - The High Priestess

Protect and Honor Knowledge: Safeguard sacred truths and use your discernment to share them only with those ready to understand.

Trust Your Intuition: Strengthen and rely on your inner guidance to navigate life's complexities.

Cultivate Stillness: Develop practices of introspection and meditation to connect with deeper spiritual truths.

Reveal Hidden Layers: Help others uncover their own hidden potential and understand the mysteries of existence.

Balance Inner and Outer Worlds: Harmonize your private inner world with your external actions, creating authenticity in your life.

Be a Guardian of Sacred Feminine Energy: Embody qualities of receptivity, patience, and nurturing wisdom to heal and inspire.

3 - The Empress

Cultivate Growth: Use your creativity and care to nurture people, projects, and ideas to fruition.

Honor Relationships: Build harmonious and meaningful connections that foster mutual support and love.

Embrace the Divine Feminine: Celebrate qualities such as receptivity, intuition, and compassion, creating balance and beauty in life.

Manifest Abundance: Channel your creative energy into tangible results that benefit yourself and others.

Foster Community: Use your nurturing abilities to bring people together and create supportive environments.

Heal Ancestral Patterns: Address unresolved issues in your lineage by embodying the energy of unconditional love and growth.

4 - The Emperor

Build Foundations: Establish strong, lasting systems—be it in family, career, or community—that provide security for future generations.

Lead with Authority: Take responsibility for guiding others, making decisive and fair choices that inspire trust.

Create Stability: Serve as a stabilizing force, offering dependability and resilience in times of uncertainty.

Protect and Provide: Ensure the well-being of those under your care, acting as a guardian and provider.

Uphold Discipline: Approach challenges with focus, perseverance, and a commitment to excellence.

Empower Others: Use your strength and influence to uplift and empower those who rely on you.

5 - The Hierophant

Pursue Lifelong Learning: Dedicate yourself to understanding profound truths and acquiring valuable knowledge.

Share Wisdom: Act as a teacher or guide, imparting insights to help others grow and evolve.

Preserve Sacred Teachings: Protect and honor traditions and knowledge passed down through your lineage.

Lead by Example: Model a life of integrity and wisdom, inspiring others through your actions.

Bridge the Spiritual and Practical: Harmonize spiritual truths with everyday life to create meaning and balance.

Resolve Karmic Cycles: Use your understanding of life’s patterns to address and heal ancestral imbalances.

6 - The Lovers

Choose Love Over Fear: Make decisions that prioritize love, trust, and compassion in every aspect of your life.

Heal Emotional Wounds: Resolve past conflicts and foster forgiveness within your lineage and relationships.

Cultivate Harmonious Relationships: Build strong, authentic bonds with family, friends, and partners.

Embody Self-Love: Nurture your own emotional well-being as a foundation for loving others fully.

Promote Unity: Act as a bridge to bring people together, dissolving divisions and fostering collective harmony.

Inspire Through Love: Demonstrate the transformative power of love to heal, connect, and create a better future.

7 - The Chariot

Take Control of Your Journey: Seize the reins of your life, steering it with confidence and intention.

Pursue Progress Relentlessly: Overcome obstacles and move steadily toward your goals, embodying resilience and focus.

Embrace Change: Adapt to shifting circumstances with courage, seeing them as opportunities for growth.

Inspire Others to Act: Lead by example, encouraging others to take charge of their destinies.

Balance Forces: Harmonize your instincts and intellect, maintaining control over inner and outer conflicts.

Create Momentum for Future Generations: Lay a path that enables your lineage to continue moving forward with strength and purpose.

8 - Justice

Act with Integrity: Make decisions that reflect honesty, balance, and moral clarity, regardless of the circumstances.

Restore Ancestral Balance: Address karmic imbalances in your lineage by seeking resolution and harmony in relationships and situations.

Be a Beacon of Fairness: Stand as an advocate for equality and justice within your family, community, and beyond.

Hold Yourself Accountable: Accept responsibility for your actions, ensuring they align with your highest values.

Discern Truth from Illusion: Use your insight to navigate complexities, uncovering and acting on the deeper truths of situations.

Uplift Future Generations: Lay a foundation of fairness and ethical strength that will benefit those who come after you.

9 - The Hermit

Pursue Inner Wisdom: Dedicate time to self-reflection and spiritual exploration, discovering profound truths about life and self.

Shine the Light for Others: Share your insights and experiences to guide others through their challenges and uncertainties.

Honor Solitude: Embrace periods of isolation as opportunities to connect with your higher self and ancestral guidance.

Break Cycles of Ignorance: Use your wisdom to identify and resolve patterns of unawareness or stagnation in your lineage.

Cultivate Patience: Approach life’s lessons with acceptance and persistence, trusting the unfolding process

.Lead with Quiet Strength: Influence others not through force, but through your example of contemplation, clarity, and calmness.

10 - The Wheel of Fortune

Embrace the Cycles of Life: Recognize that both triumphs and challenges are part of a greater rhythm and purpose.

Turn Karmic Wheels: Resolve ancestral patterns by consciously choosing actions that lead to healing and progress.

Adapt to Change: Accept shifts in circumstances with resilience, seeing them as opportunities to grow and realign.

Seize Fortuitous Moments: Be alert to opportunities that arise, taking decisive action when the time is right.

Trust the Divine Plan: Surrender to the flow of life’s unfolding, trusting that all events serve a higher purpose.

Lead Others Through Transitions: Act as a guide for those struggling to navigate their own cycles of change and evolution.

11 - Strength

Master Inner Strength: Cultivate the ability to face life’s challenges with calmness, patience, and determination.

Transform Struggles into Growth: Use adversity as a tool for personal empowerment and spiritual evolution.

Tame Instincts: Balance raw emotions and impulses with self-discipline and wisdom, creating harmony within.

Be a Pillar for Others: Act as a source of support and inspiration, encouraging those around you to find their own strength.

Empower the Lineage: Address inherited patterns of fear or disempowerment, replacing them with resilience and courage.

Demonstrate Compassionate Power: Show that true strength lies not in domination, but in gentleness and understanding.

12 - The Hanged Man

Surrender to Growth: Accept life’s challenges and sacrifices as necessary steps for spiritual and personal evolution.

Serve a Higher Purpose: Dedicate your efforts to causes that benefit not only yourself but also your family and community.

Release Ego: Let go of attachments to personal gain or recognition, focusing on collective well-being.

Transform Suffering: Use pain or hardship as a catalyst for deeper understanding and empowerment.

Break Cycles of Stagnation: Address inherited patterns of resistance or fear, paving the way for progress and renewal.

Be a Beacon of Resilience: Inspire others by demonstrating strength, patience, and the ability to rise above difficulties.

13 - Death

Release the Old: Let go of outdated beliefs, habits, and patterns that no longer serve you or your family.

Transform Through Loss: Use experiences of endings and separations as opportunities for personal and spiritual growth.

Break Generational Cycles: Address and dismantle karmic patterns that have kept your lineage stagnant or bound.

Empower Renewal: Create space for new opportunities and growth by fully embracing the necessity of change.

Guide Others Through Change: Help those in your family and community navigate their own transitions with grace and resilience.

Honor the Cycles of Life: Recognize the inevitability and beauty of life’s transformations, embracing them with acceptance and understanding.

14 - Temperance

Restore Ancestral Balance: Heal discord within your lineage by bringing harmony to relationships and unresolved conflicts.

Live in Equilibrium: Cultivate a balanced approach to life, avoiding extremes in emotions, behaviors, or decisions.

Blend Opposites: Integrate conflicting energies or perspectives within yourself and your family, creating unity from duality.

Foster Peace and Healing: Serve as a mediator and peacemaker, helping others reconcile their differences.

Adapt Gracefully: Navigate changes and challenges with calmness and flexibility, teaching others to do the same.

Create Sustainable Growth: Lay a foundation of balanced effort and steady progress for future generations to thrive.

15 - The Devil

Break the Chains: Liberate yourself and your lineage from inherited patterns of addiction, fear, or control.

Transform Shadow Energy: Use the power of your shadow aspects to fuel growth and self-awareness rather than self-destruction.

Confront Illusions: See through deceptions and false beliefs that have kept you or your family bound to negative cycles.

Claim Personal Power: Assert your autonomy and use your strength to create freedom and empowerment for yourself and others.

Transmute Ancestral Pain: Heal unresolved trauma in your lineage by addressing and transforming it into a source of resilience.

Guide Others Through Darkness: Help those around you face and overcome their fears and limitations with courage and clarity.

16 - The Tower

Tear Down False Structures: Dismantle outdated systems, beliefs, or traditions that no longer serve your lineage.

Confront Chaos: Face upheavals with courage, understanding that they are necessary for growth and renewal.

Rebuild with Integrity: Use the lessons learned from destruction to create stronger, more authentic foundations.

Break Generational Chains: Disrupt destructive family patterns and cycles, clearing the way for healthier dynamics.

Find Strength in Adversity: Transform challenges into opportunities for personal and ancestral evolution.

Illuminate Hidden Truths: Reveal and address buried truths or secrets that have kept your family in stagnation or conflict.

17 - The Star

Shine as a Beacon: Use your light to guide and inspire others, offering hope during challenging times.

Restore Faith: Reignite belief in possibilities, purpose, and the future within your lineage and community.

Heal Emotional Wounds: Bring peace and restoration to areas of pain and discord in your family.

Pursue Your Aspirations: Align with your highest potential, showing your lineage the power of dreams realized.

Connect to the Divine: Serve as a conduit for spiritual wisdom, aligning your actions with universal guidance.

Renew Your Legacy: Infuse your family’s narrative with optimism, healing, and a forward-looking vision.

18 - The Moon

Trust Your Intuition: Use your inner wisdom to guide your steps through uncertainty and confusion.

Unveil Hidden Truths: Bring to light secrets, illusions, or unresolved emotions within your lineage that have caused stagnation.

Transform Fear: Confront inherited anxieties and shadow patterns, turning them into sources of insight and strength.

Embrace Mystery: Accept that not all answers are immediate, learning to flow with the rhythms of the unseen.

Channel Creativity: Use your imagination and artistic talents to express complex emotions and inspire others.

Guide Through the Shadows: Help others in your family and community face their fears and navigate life's uncertainties.

19 - The Sun

Illuminate Pathways: Shine your light to guide your family and community toward clarity and purpose.

Celebrate Life: Embrace and share a vibrant zest for living, inspiring others with your positivity and enthusiasm.

Heal Through Warmth: Use your energy and optimism to mend emotional wounds within your lineage.

Foster Unity: Build connections and harmony among family members, creating a legacy of togetherness.

Achieve Greatness: Lead by example, showing the power of determination and a positive mindset in achieving goals.

Inspire Future Generations: Infuse your family’s narrative with hope, pride, and the pursuit of excellence.

20 - Judgement

Awaken Your Potential: Step into your divine purpose, answering the call to live a life of profound impact and meaning.

Break Cycles: Resolve karmic patterns and bring closure to unresolved ancestral wounds or unfinished business.

Guide Renewal: Lead your family into a new era of clarity and growth, shedding the weight of past mistakes.

Encourage Forgiveness: Foster healing and understanding within your lineage by promoting forgiveness and reconciliation.

Align with the Divine: Serve as a bridge between spiritual truth and earthly actions, living with integrity and purpose.

Uplift Generations: Create a legacy of awakening and empowerment for future descendants, inspiring them to pursue their highest potential.

21 - The World

Achieve Wholeness: Strive for balance and integration in all aspects of life, setting a model of harmony for your lineage.

Bring Cycles to Completion: Resolve unfinished karmic or ancestral patterns, allowing your family to move forward.

Celebrate Success: Honor the milestones and achievements of your lineage, bringing pride and recognition to your family.

Foster Unity: Bridge divisions and create a legacy of togetherness, both within your family and in the wider world.

Expand the Legacy: Use your talents and knowledge to contribute meaningfully to your lineage and society at large.

Inspire Transcendence: Lead by example, demonstrating the joy and fulfillment of living aligned with one’s highest purpose.

22 - The Fool

Leap into the Unknown: Approach life with courage and curiosity, trusting the journey without fear of failure.

Break Ancestral Limits: Liberate your lineage from rigid traditions or limiting beliefs, opening new paths for growth.

Embrace Playfulness: Bring lightness and joy into your life and relationships, countering ancestral heaviness or rigidity.

Live Authentically: Lead by example, showing that living true to oneself is the greatest form of freedom.

Trust the Universe: Have faith in divine timing and the unseen forces that guide your steps.

Inspire Boundless Potential: Encourage your family and community to dream big and pursue their desires with confidence.

TikTok (Matrix of Destiny) - Masterlist - YouTube (subliminals)

[dramaticals]

did you hear what i said?

pairing: theodore nott x gryffindor reader

summary: after a year of secretly dating, theo breaks things off when classes start up again. it's now christmas eve and he's back with a figurative box of regret / requested by anonymous.

author's note: angst! there will be a part two with fluff, but i just needed to get this out since i've been writing this for too long. (please) feel free to leave angsty requests in my inbox because this is the genre that gets my gears going! but i make no promises on resolutions and happy endings ♡

"You look happier."

Theodore stands in front of the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, his hands shoved into his pockets. His presence garners murmurs all around, even though the Great Hall was emptier than usual for the holidays. The sight of him makes your breath catch. It's been three months since you last spoke to him, but the memory of that night resurfaces, ripping open the wound on your healing heart.

It was back in September.

Theo had passed you a note in Potions, asking you to meet him in the Astronomy Tower after dark. It wasn't a peculiar ask, so you didn't think much of it at the time. The Astronomy Tower had become your and Theo's spot. A quiet place for the two of you to just exist—no interruptions and no expectations from the outside world. Your house rivalry was nothing in that tower. It was just you and Theo.

The two of you would spend hours hiding there, often cuddled on top of a lush blanket you had hidden nearby. You'd talk about anything and everything with him, from learning about each other's likes and dislikes to venting about classes and classmates. On nights where the two of you favoured serenity, it was never unpleasant. You'd embrace the quiet, exchanging sweet kisses all the while enjoying the comfort and protection of his arms.

That night in September was different, though. You sensed it the minute you ascended the steps to see Theo standing stiffly by the railing, his gaze concentrating on a bird on the horizon.

Theo didn't even turn to face you—acknowledge you—before he was muttering the words that shattered your heart into pieces.

"I'm over this." Theo said, his tone void of any emotion. His hand clutched onto the railing so tightly that his knuckles were pale.

Stunned silence fell over you. You just looked at him with a puzzled expression.

"Did you hear what I said?" Theo turned to you then, and you could see the pained expression on his features. But then something shifted, and his expression turned cold. "I'm breaking up with you."

His words on their own were harsh, but the inflection on each syllable felt like he was personally twisting a serrated knife into your heart.

"I don't understand." You said. "Why? What did I—"

"I feel like you're getting attached, and I think we've run our course." Theo interrupted. His eyes, the ones you became so accustomed to, were dark and flooded with an expression even you weren't familiar with. Theo scoffed. "You didn't actually think we'd last, did you?"

Maybe it was the naive and hopeless romantic in you, but you truly believed you would. House rivalries, judgemental friends, and family expectations were merely obstacles the two of you would deal with together. You just felt so strongly about him, and you were certain he felt the same about you.

"Did you hear what I said?" The Theodore standing in front of you jerks you back to the present.

You blink, and you nearly drop your fork.

"I heard you," you say firmly, returning your attention back to the half-eaten plate in front of you. You make yourself look busy and uncaring (as much as you could with food and a full stomach), as if Theodore's sudden presence had no effect on you.

Theodore shifts in his spot, his eyes darting to the empty seat in front of you, silently contemplating whether he should take it or cut his losses and leave. Reluctantly, he settles on the former. This makes you tense, your lips pursing as he sits. It doesn't help that you were highly attentive to the whispers; your classmates were surely speculating why Theodore Nott would be choosing the company of a muggle-born on Christmas Eve. You put down your fork, bring your gaze to his, and let out an exhausted breath.

"Nott, what do you want?"

Hearing his last name from you makes his jaw clench. It was cold and formal, stripped of any history you two shared.

"Just wanted to know if you were as happy as you looked."

"You have no right to that type of information anymore."

"Humour me."

You glare at him. Theodore looks back at you with such shy tenderness that your gaze softens slightly.

Am I happy? you think.

Some days, sure. But most days, you find yourself wandering back to that dreadful night in September. Even after all these months, you still wonder if you had just said something different or fought back instead of taking it, maybe you and Theo would still be together.

It was why Ginny, the only poor soul who was aware of your relationship with Theo, had set you up with Michael Corner, a cute Ravenclaw boy in your year. He was smart, funny, and occasionally sweet, but he wasn't Theodore Nott.

Still, you persisted. You allowed yourself to indulge in the idea of being with Michael because the brooding Slytherin boy who had your heart had made his choice. You went on a few dates with Michael; he'd walk you to class, sit with you during Quidditch matches, and sometimes—when he was feeling courageous—he'd plant a kiss on your lips in the middle of the bustling corridor.

"I am." You lie, and you bite down on the insides of your cheeks. What good would it do to admit you weren't, especially to the cause of your turmoil?

Theodore watches you, practically analyzing your features. He doesn't have to say anything for you to know he didn't believe you, and you hated that—hated him, for having been so attentive to you that your tells were obvious.

"You are?" Theodore questions.

"That's what I said, didn't I?"

"I think you and I have a habit of saying things we don't mean."

His careful words and wistful gaze make you flush with embarrassment and anger. To this day, you still weren't sure why Theo had broken things off with you, and it was something that had kept you up countless nights. Through gritted teeth and cheeks stinging with remembered hurt, you say, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means," Theodore starts, his eyes flickering around to ensure no one was listening in. While a few lingering glances were sent your way, everyone was spread out far enough that it'd be hard to eavesdrop. He drops his voice anyway. "I shouldn't have said what I did that night. I didn't mean it. I don't mean it."

The anger bubbling in the pit of your stomach erupts, your eyes blazing. "Is this some sick game to you? It's been three months, Theodore. I spent three months crying over you and wondering what the hell I did to you to be so bloody cruel. And now when I'm finally ready to move on from you, you come back to tell me you... you didn't mean it?" The last words leave a dirty, salty taste in your mouth.

"No, no," Theodore shakes his head, swallowing thickly as you recounted the months of hell. He hadn't been doing any better either, but Theo was generally good at hiding his afflictions. Numbing the pain with weed and alcohol were among his favourite remedies. "It's not a game. It was never a game. You should know me well enough to know that I would never mean any of the things I said."

"Know you?" You almost laugh. You had replayed the breakup and the weeks leading up to it in your mind countless times, trying to make sense of the bullshit non-reason he had given when he broke up with you but nothing made sense. The whole thing made you spiral, questioning everything that had ever happened between you two. "I'm actually convinced I never really knew you, because the guy I knew would never have done that to me."

Having had enough of the conversation, you get up, leaving your half-eaten plate and a pained Theodore at the Gryffindor table. You're almost past the door of the Great Hall when Theo, as a last-ditch effort, grabs a hold of your wrist, hauling you to a stop. You let out a small huff and turn to face him.

"Meet me in the Astronomy Tower after dark." Theodore says softly, almost pleadingly. He makes a conscious effort to ignore all the prying eyes that turned.

"Because that worked out so well for me last time."

"Just—please. If you want to continue never speaking to each other again after that, then fine. But at least let me explain."

You had every intention of ignoring Theodore’s request. He didn’t deserve a chance to explain—the statute of limitations for explaining ended months ago. And yet, you found yourself sneaking out of the Gryffindor common room and up to the Astronomy Tower, inebriated by the countless what-ifs and string of memories: Theo sneaking a kiss on your lips as everyone turned to view whatever Hagrid had for Care of Magical Creatures, Theo resting his hand on your thigh during potions, Theo winking at you as you watched him play Quidditch.

“You’re here.” Theodore says, just as you reach the top of the staircase. He was sitting by the railing.

“I am,” you say as you walk toward him reluctantly. You settle next to him.

Theodore looks at you, and it looks like he’s about to say something, but then he shuts his eyes, shakes his head, and sighs.

You’ve never seen him at a loss for words. He was intentionally silent, sure, but his quick wit never failed him.

“I’ve regretted that night every day, you know.” He speaks up, his solemn eyes trained on yours. “I replay it over and over.”

Theodore’s gaze is unrelenting, brimming with seriousness and a vulnerability that you haven’t seen before. You tear your gaze away from his because the more he talks and looks at you like this, the more you find it hard to breathe.

“Then why do it? Why say those things?” You manage to ask.

Theodore’s jaw clenches. “Lesser of two evils.”

When you look at him with a confused expression, he continues, “It was better to lose you on those terms than to lose you completely.”

Silence falls on both of you, filling the space like a thick fog.

“I lost my mom when I was seven.” Theodore explains, his eyes darkening. “A freak accident.”

Out of the year you and Theo dated in secret, he had rarely mentioned his mom. And if he did, it was small tidbits—precious memories. Regardless of how small and insignificant the memory would seem to others, you gathered how important Theo’s mom was to him. Underneath Theo’s stoic expressions and calculating demeanour was a softness to Theo that could only be accredited to his mom.

“She got caught in the crossfire between some death eaters.” Theodore says, his expression pained. He drops his gaze now, but you keep your eyes on him. There’s a mixture of grief and anger that flashes across his features, and it takes everything in you to hold yourself back from reaching for him. To comfort him.

“It took me years to get over it. I don’t even think I am yet—I’m still angry at my father for allowing this shit into our lives and for continuing to do it.” Theodore says, letting out an exasperated breath. You knew what everyone else knew about Theo’s father—he was a blood purist, rumoured to be loyal to you-know-who. He’d hate you the moment he’d find out you were muggle-born.

Theo meets your gaze now, and it’s your turn to feel winded. It was like you were looking at your Theo again. The sweet, sarcastic, pain-in-your-ass-but-in-a-good-way Theo. “I lost my mom, who meant the world to me, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it if I lost you too. So I pushed you away. I figured it was best to cut our losses before I pulled you into something you had no reason being in. Before I lost you permanently.”

“What’s changed?” You ask, shaking your head. His words were hard to process, but the pieces of the last few months were beginning to click into place. “I’m still me, and last I heard, your dad was still your dad.”

“I realized that, in a way, I was kind of like my dad.”

“What?”

“I mean,” Theo says. “My dad never gave any of us a choice. Not me, and not my mom. We always had to go along with him and deal with the consequences of his actions. I took a choice away from you, and you just had to deal with it. I don’t want to do that anymore. I still think I did it for the right reasons, but I regret it. I want to be with you. I should have told you what I was worried about—told you about the risks of being with me, so we could make a decision together.”

Together.

That’s all you wanted. You were more than willing to have dealt with any obstacle that was thrown your way, so long as you had Theo by your side.

But that was three months ago. And while his words brought goosebumps, butterflies, and heart palpitations, they also brought a slew of conflicting feelings. You understood why he broke things off now, and although his reasoning was well-intended, it didn’t excuse the fact that you had spent the last three months in a state of despair and heartbreak. You didn’t eat as much, your grades dropped, and you couldn’t even look at him until recently in fear of tears and the overwhelming rush of memories.

“So?”

“Theo,” you say softly. Your eyes search his face.

There’s a ghost of a smile on his lips at the sound of his name. Not Theodore, not Nott. Theo.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

He exhales sharply at your response, and his expression shifts as he turns to face the horizon. He wanted you to say it was worth the risk and that you wanted to be with him as much as he did. He wanted you to forgive him for what he did to you. “It’s fine.”

“No—I just... I need to think.” You say quickly. Your heart was screaming for him, but your brain was weary. And if the past three months taught you anything, it was that you needed to act with your brain and not your heart. “I just need time. This was a lot to process.”

“Right, of course.” Theo says with a curt nod. He turns to you again, offering a weak smile. It was his heart’s turn to break. “Well, thanks for coming tonight and letting me explain. I guess, just let me know.”

You watch him stand, brush the dirt off his robes, and turn away. Just as he reaches the staircase back down, he looks back at you. Your eyes catch his gorgeous arctic eyes, your cheeks burning and your heart racing.

"Merry Christmas, by the way." Theo says before he descends down the stairs.

[serpentandlily]

Now That We Don't Talk

Part I

Now That We Don’t Talk - Azriel x Reader

Summary: Dealing with the aftermath of your mate’s betrayal.

Warnings: major angst, mentions of grief and loss, mention of infidelity 

a/n: this has a happy ending, I promise! I’d also like to mention that I never usually blame the woman when a man cheats, but in this case, both parties knew of the existing relationship and bond so *death to all of them* lol jk…for now…I hope this lives up to your expectations!

────────────

“That’s it, Y/n,” Madja said, taking a step backwards as she carefully monitored you between two support beams. “Go slow.”

Your shoulders and arms were straining as you held yourself up using the two beams, slowly raising your foot to take another step forward. You groaned at the pain, feeling flustered and embarrassed that walking was taking you so much effort. 

Cassian and Nesta had turned one of the larger chambers in the House of Wind into a physical remedial room. You had sessions in here every day with Madja, Cassian almost always there with you and in times he couldn’t be, Rhys would fly up to be with you during these. 

You didn’t have the heart to tell your brother that you preferred when Rhys was here instead of him, only because he always magicked his wings away so you didn’t have to see them. Cassian’s were just a reminder of what you had lost. 

Relearning to walk has been one of the hardest parts of losing your wings.

Even now it was a struggle to simply stand. You were too used to the weight of having wings on your back and using them to balance. You felt their absence in more ways than one.

But this one was easier to deal with—the physical part. It was the mental and emotional part that still kept you up at night. The loss of freedom, having to know you’d never be able to fly again. The nightmares. The embarrassment. The shame. 

You had never been a particularly proud Illyrian, never agreeing with the way your people were raised and the culture they lived in. But still, having those wings made you a part of something bigger than yourself—a community, a tribe, a family. 

You weren’t like Rhys, not a half-breed like him. You didn’t have the pointy ears to make you fit in with the wingless High Fae. You’d always be other to them. And now you’d be other to your people as well. 

You tried to blink away the tears forming in your eyes but it didn’t matter. Your brother seemed to sense the change in your mood and rose from his chair in the corner where he had been monitoring the session.

“You’re doing great, kiddo,” Cassian said, trying to encourage you to keep trying. “One step at a time.”

“I can’t,” you choked out, your muscles straining from the effort to keep you upright. “I-I can’t.”

“You can and you will,” Cassian said, sternly. “Come on, I know you can do it.” 

“I can’t.”

You wobbled, letting out a long exhale. You had only made it halfway to the other side of the mat. Pain pierced through your still healing back, serving as another reminder of what you had lost. Your fractured hip had healed already but the bones still felt like they were being grinded together every time you moved your legs. 

“Thank you for your help today, Madja,” Cassian said, sharing a look with the older healer. “I can take it from here.”

Madja, as if also sensing the shift in the atmosphere, took her leave without argument to give you some privacy with your brother. 

“Just make sure she eats something after this. Her body needs more nourishment,” Madja said on her way out. The noise of the door shutting behind her was all it took for the hold on your emotions to completely crumble. 

You felt your legs give out as a cry escape from your throat. Cassian darted forward, catching you only just before you hit the ground. He slowly lowered you the rest of the way, going with you to hold you in a tight embrace as sobs racked your body. 

“I-I can’t do this, Cass,” you cried over and over again. “I can’t do this.”

He knew you weren’t just talking about walking.

Every intake of breath reminded you of the heavy weight of your heart in your chest. It was unbearable, all consuming. The heartache, the pain, the feeling of the mating bond still lingering in the background of it all. You wanted to rip your heart out, wanted to scream and scream but all that came out were inaudible words and sobs. 

“It’s going to be okay, sweetheart,” Cassian murmured, petting your hair on the back of your head. “I promise you.” 

“My wings, Cass, m-my wings are gone,” you choked out, tears streaming down your face.

Cassian cradled your head in his neck, pulling you tighter against him. His own body was tense and you knew he was holding back his own emotions, trying to be strong for you. “I know, kiddo, I know.” 

“M-my wings,” you cried. “My wings. I-I want them back, Cass. P-please, I want them back!”

“I would cut off my own wings and give them to you if I could, sweetheart,” Cassian whispered, his voice filled with despair. “I’m so sorry.”

He couldn’t understand this feeling, would never unless he too lost his wings. You remembered when he almost had after protecting Azriel in Hybern from the blast of the Cauldron. Azriel…Just thinking of his name was making you spiral further, choking on your own sobs. 

There had once been a time when Azriel had been the one to save your wings. And now he was part of the reason why you lost them. You weren’t even sure which hurt more at this point. His betrayal or the loss of your wings. 

Both felt so violating. 

A piece of you, of your body, ripped away along with your trust and heart. Your mate sleeping with another female and coming home to you. Looking you in the eyes and keeping that secret from you each and every day. Making love to you knowing he was sharing himself with another behind your back. How were you supposed to move on? 

It didn’t help that you weren’t fully rid of Azriel. The bond was still an unwelcomed presence inside of you, still sang his name–called for him–despite the hurt he had caused you. You wanted to tear it to shreds. 

“Why?” You cried, wrapping your arms around Cassian’s neck to fall into him further. Your brother held you as tight as he could, stroking your hair, whispering words of support in your ear. “Why wasn’t I g-good enough, Cass? W-why wasn’t I enough for him? What is wrong with m-me?”

The guttural wails that came from you caused Cassian to squeeze his eyes shut, trying to keep his own tears at bay. Your chest heaved as you struggled to even breath under the crushing anguish that was consuming you. He held you as you shook, held you as your tears soaked through his shirt, held you as he restrained himself from shooting off to go find Azriel and kill him. 

“There is nothing wrong with you, sweetheart. Nothing,” Cassian growled. “Azriel is a fool for losing you. He’s the fuck-up. Not you.”

“He is my mate, Cass, my mate. And he–he did this to me. Why?”

“Because he’s a miserable bastard who doesn’t know how to love,” Cassian growled. 

You couldn’t even register his words over the pounding of your own wailing heart. “What did I do to deserve this?”

You felt so violated, so vulnerable, so completely and utterly shattered. The pain of your broken heart seemed to echo in the depths of your very soul. Why hadn’t you been enough for him?

Was Elain just that much better? Was she prettier, smarter, a better female? Could she give him something you couldn’t?

“You didn’t deserve this. You did nothing wrong,” Cassian murmured into your hair, kissing the top of your head. “You are so much better than them, sweetheart.” 

“B-but then why wasn’t I enough?” Your cries met their crescendo, your hands shaking as you clung onto Cassian’s shirt with tight fists. “Why wasn’t I enough, Cass? Why?” 

Your voice was hoarse, your words cracking as you spoke. But there was nothing left to say. 

Nothing left to say at all. 

You weren’t good enough for Azriel, for your own mate. You weren’t good enough to keep his attention. Not good enough to keep his love. 

You were just simply not enough. 

Cassian held you there as you cried and cried, held you as the weight of everything you lost engulfed you. Held you through the raw grief that surged like a tempest within you. Held you until you had cried yourself into a fitful sleep, only then rising to carry you back to your room. 

────────────

As soon as Mor had gotten word about what had happened, she immediately started her journey home from the continent. She had gone to you the minute she landed in Velaris, but Cassian had turned her away because he didn’t want to interrupt your sleep, something you hadn’t gotten much of since the attack.

But that was okay because she had a few things she needed to take care of. 

“Where is she!”

Mor’s shout rang through the entire house, the ground quaking underneath her as she stormed into the dining room where a very morose dinner seemed to be taking place with Rhys, Feyre, Elain and Amren at the table. Rhys shot up from his seat. “Y/n is at the House of Wind with—”

“Not her,” Mor snarled before pointing a finger at Elain, who stared at her wide-eyed. “You.” 

Before anyone could stop her, Mor launched herself forward, grabbing Elain by the hair on the back of her head and slamming her face down on the wooden table she was sitting at. Rhys cursed while Feyre jumped up from her seat, thanking the Gods that Nesta wasn’t here for this. 

Rhys grabbed Feyre by the arm, shaking his head at her. “Some things need to be fought the fae way. Let her learn.” 

Amren leaned back in her chair, not so much as flinching at the display. 

Mor kept her fist wrapped in Elain’s hair, pressing her face against the hardwood as the other girl cried out, blood dripping down her nose.

“That was for Y/n because she’s up there learning how to fucking walk again because of you,” Mor hissed before yanking Elain up by her hair until she was standing. 

Elain cried out for Feyre but her sister just pressed her lips into a thin line, Rhys’s hand still around her arm. Feyre was disappointed in her sister for what she had done but she still bristled as Rhys’s amusement at the scene traveled down their bond.

Mor decked Elain in the face, the sound audible, causing Feyre to flinch. Elain’s head whipped to the side as she dropped to the floor with a loud sob. “And that was for Cassian because he would never lay his hands on a weak, pathetic female but I will. Remember that.” 

Elain’s cries rung out in the room, blood dripping from her now broken nose and a bruise already forming on her cheek. Mor ignored her as she looked to Rhysand.

“Where is the other one?” Her voice was full of anger. “I’m going to fucking kill him.” 

“I don’t know,” Rhys sighed, finally letting go of Feyre. She rushed to Elain’s side, helping her off the floor and out of the room, giving Mor a remorseful look, feeling guilty over what her sister had caused. 

“What do you mean you don’t know?”

“He disappeared once Y/n woke up and made it very clear she didn’t wish to see him. I have no idea where he went.”

“That fucking coward,” Mor grumbled. “Why is Elain still here? This is Y/n’s home, not hers. She shouldn’t have to be the one who leaves and you know she will if those two are still around. Cassian would leave with her too—I’m sure of it.”

“I know he would,” Rhys said, sitting back down and putting his head in his hands. “I don’t know what to do, Mor. If Elain wasn’t Feyre’s sister I would’ve had her banished in a second and Azriel…Gods, he’s my brother. I can’t believe he would do something like this. He loves Y/n. I don’t know why he would hurt her like this.” 

“Azriel has always been his worst enemy,” Mor sighed, sitting next to Rhys. “We’ve all tried to help him as much as we could but this just isn’t something we can help him with. Y/n is going to need our support. This could destroy her.” 

“It already has,” Rhys replied. “She might leave our court regardless of whether or not we send Azriel and Elain away. I wouldn’t blame her. I’ve already let her know that if she wants out, I’ll have everything set-up for her.” 

“What of the girl’s mate? The redhead,” Amren piped up, crossing her arms. “Does he know yet? You know how males are. He might call for a blood duel against Azriel.” 

“Lucien has already been informed about what happened,” Rhys spoke. “Cassian has been on a warpath and was all too eager to tell Lucien. I think part of him hoped he would duel Azriel. But Lucien wouldn’t.” 

“So what happens now?” Mor asked. 

Rhys looked at her and she took note of the heavy bags under his eyes. He hadn’t been sleeping. Neither had she. She was certain none of them had. Azriel had caused a giant rift in this family—one felt by them all. 

Rhys held back his tears, clearing his throat.

“I know what was to be done,” he breathed out. “But it’s going to be hard. He was…He was my brother for over five hundred years. Regardless of what he’s done, it’s going to be hard to say goodbye.” 

Mor rested a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I know, Rhys. Nothing about this is going to be easy.”

“He cannot be trusted anymore,” Amren added. “Anyone who could cheat on their mate cannot be trusted. He might as well have spit on the Mother’s face for what he did.”

“I just want to know why. Why would he do this?” 

Mor let out a long breath. “I’m not sure you’ll ever get an answer. I think Azriel, himself, can’t even answer that question.” 

“I failed her, Mor. I knew how dangerous that mission was. I should’ve never given it to her,” the quiet cry shook Rhys’s body. 

“Azriel was supposed to be with her, Rhys,” Mor said. “It’s not your fault. He failed her. This was his doing.” 

But Rhys just shook his head, the tears finally slipping free from both of their eyes. 

“Get it out now, Mor, before you see her,” Rhys choked out. “It’s…hard to see her in the state she’s in. Prepare yourself. We have to be strong for her.” 

“I know,” Mor whispered, wiping at her tears. “I know.” 

────────────

“Hey, kiddo,” Cassian’s voice pulled you from your sleep.

You blinked awake, groaning at the pounding in your head. It took you a second to realize you were in your room. Cassian must’ve carried you here after your breakdown yesterday. 

Cassian was sitting beside you, stroking your hair. “I brought you some breakfast and someone is here to see you.”

It was only then you noticed the other person sitting at the end of your bed. 

“Mor?” Your voice was hoarse, the word barely escaping. “You’re here?”

“I came back as soon as I heard,” Mor said, leaning forward to clutch your hand in hers. “How are you doing, babygirl?” 

Mor had always felt like an older sister to you. Her friendship with your brother had made the two of you close. 

“I’m…I’m not doing good,” you replied, honestly. “I can’t…I don’t know what to do, Mor. I don’t know how to move on from here. Part of me wishes I died in that alleyway. I wish I died the minute my wings were cut off.” 

“I know,” she said, sadly. “I wish I had an answer for you but I don’t. It’s going to be hard, but we’re going to be with you every step of the way.” 

“Come on, why don’t you sit up so you can eat,” Cassian murmured, putting a hand on your back to help you up. 

“I’m not hungry,” you protested.

“You have to eat something, sweetheart,” Cass said gently. “Madja’s orders.”

But you shook your head. You didn’t have an appetite. Everything still hurt so much. 

“Just give her a second, Cass,” Mor murmured. 

Cassian frowned but nodded. He brushed some of your hair away from your face again and the soothing motion started another round of tears. 

“Hey, hey,” Cassian whispered. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay, Cass! How will I ever be able to show my face again?” you cried. “I will be shamed, spit on, shunned because I lost my wings—because I couldn’t fight for them. I can never return to Illyria. I won’t be able to help train with the girls anymore.” 

“Emerie told me the girls are already awaiting your return. They miss you,” Mor reassured. “Who cares about what the stupid males are going to think? Most of those females have had their freedom of flight taken from them. They would never shun you for what happened.” 

Your eyes fell on the many bouquets of flowers and get well cards on your nightstand. Cassian had been bringing them to you. Your heart ached at the sight. 

“But I failed them, Mor,” you sobbed. “I failed them. I’m supposed to be strong. I’m supposed to be a warrior and all it took was one male to completely destroy me. I’m worthless to them now. How can I teach them to fight for themselves if I cannot even do that?” 

“You are not worthless,” Cassian said, sternly. “You are more of a fighter than half of those Illyrian males. You continue to fight each day knowing you have to live with the loss of your wings. Most of the males would’ve given up already, sweetheart. You are stronger than you think.” 

“I-I’m not. I’m weak and a failure,” you cried. “I couldn’t protect my wings. Couldn’t keep my mate’s love. Couldn’t…couldn’t–”

Your sobs overtook your words, your entire body shaking. 

“Listen to me, Y/n.” Mor demanded. “You are not weak. You are not a failure. You are a million times better than the two assholes who hurt you. You will survive this. You will survive him. I promise you, Y/n, I promise you.” 

She embraced you, holding you as you broke down into gut-wrenching sobs once again. 

────────────

The air was tense to say the least. Rhys was standing behind his desk, palms pressed flat against the surface as he stared at the two people sitting in front of him. Feyre stood next to him as both a pillar of support and the High Lady. 

Azriel’s eyes were downcast. He hadn’t even looked at Elain since he had been dragged into this office by Mor—a new black eye and a bruised jaw decorating his face. Elain stared and stared at him, her eyes pleading with him to look at her but he ignored her presence. 

Azriel looked rough. He hadn’t shaved, his eyes were bloodshot, but the most surprising thing was his lack of shadows swarming him. 

“Where are you shadows?” Rhys asked. “I swear, Azriel, if you sent them after Y/n, I will bring Cassian down here to do with you as he pleases.” 

Azriel looked up, shaking his head. “They won’t sing to me anymore. Not since…Not since the accident.” 

It was true. His shadows had hissed at him, recoiled in his presence before they dissipated as if they too had felt his betrayal. They had wailed in agony at the loss of Y/n. They had always skittered away in Elain’s presence, probably the only reason they never yelled at him when he was with her…but it seems this time, they had left for good. 

Despite his curiosity, Rhys decided to drop the subject. This was not the time or place for that discussion. 

“Feyre and I have come to a decision about what must happen due to the results of your actions,” Rhys said, his voice full of authority and resignation. 

“What? But we’ve done nothing wrong!” Elain exclaimed. “I know we shouldn’t have gone behind Y/n’s back but we’re in love!”

“I don’t care,” Rhys snarled, baring his teeth. “I don’t care how much you two claim to be in love! Azriel has caused irreparable damage to his own mate—a member of my court, of my family. And you were complicit in that.” 

“Are we not your family too? Feyre is my sister!”

“And Y/n is mine,” Rhys retorted. “And Cassian’s.”

Elain crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair. “So we’re being punished for falling in love? It’s not our fault the Cauldron decided to make someone else our mates. It was never our choice.” 

“You’re not being punished for falling in love, if that’s even what we can call this,” Feyre spat out, staring at her sister with disappointment. “You’re being punished for how you handled a sensitive situation. You’re being punished for lying to our whole family and for causing it to be torn apart.”

“You’re not being punished at all,” Rhys snapped. “If you were, both of you would be in a cell in Hewn City and I’d let Cassian decide what your punishment would be considering Y/n would never have the heart to hurt either of you. This is simply the consequence of your own stupid actions.” 

Azriel’s head shot up at the mention of your name. “How is Y/n? Is she doing okay?” 

Feyre went to answer but Rhys shook his head at her. 

“You don’t get the privilege of knowing anything about her at this point, Azriel,” he huffed. 

Azriel stood from his chair in anger. “She is my mate, Rhys.”

“Sit down,” Rhys commanded, his voice rising for the first time since the meeting started. “Funny how now you acknowledge her as a mate but not when you had your tongue down Elain’s throat.” 

“Fuck you, Rhys,” Azriel growled, but sat, unable to fight the power of a High Lord’s order. 

“No fuck you, Azriel! I thought you were my brother! How could you do this to Y/n? To our family? Both of you should be ashamed. You are already getting off easy, don’t make me rethink my choice. Lucien has every right to storm in right now and demand a blood duel against you. And even though it’s not a practice in my court, I’d even let Y/n declare one against Elain.”

Elain’s face paled but Azriel only scoffed in indignation. “As if Feyre would ever let anyone kill one of her sisters.” 

Feyre stepped forward, glaring at the shadowsinger and Elain. “I’m done protecting her. Nesta is done protecting her. We have spent our whole lives taking care of her thinking she was just too soft for this world—too naive and innocent. But I think we’re finally seeing the real you, Elain. And it is time for you to face the consequences of your own actions, make your own way in life.” 

“So what are you going to do? Are you going to force me to live in the House of Wind like you did Nesta?”

“No,” Feyre said, stone faced before looking at Rhys. They had decided together how they would handle this situation.

“You are both hereby banished from the Night Court,” Rhys declared. “I will not tolerate Y/n having to lose her own home after she just lost her wings and we are going to do what's best for her. Lucien has made it clear that you both will not be welcomed in Day either and Helion is standing by his son’s decision. Beyond that, we cannot help you. You will pack your things and leave immediately. If you step one foot in this court after you leave, I will be notified and you will face worse repercussions.” 

“What?” Elain exclaimed. “Feyre, you can’t be serious! Look, I’ll move out of the Riverhouse. We can live in Azriel’s apartment and avoid Y/n.”

“That apartment belongs to Y/n too, you know,” Feyre snapped. “We have already made our decision. We will not be negotiating any terms.” 

“Rhys, come on,” Azriel said. “I will leave but you don’t need to banish Elain too. She did nothing wrong.”

“Elain knew you were a mated male, knew you were together with Y/n. While I agree that what you have done is worse, she still knew what she was doing wasn’t right.” 

“Where are we supposed to go?” Elain cried. “I don’t have any money. I don’t have anywhere to go, Feyre. You can’t just toss me out like this.” 

“Azriel has money,” Feyre shrugged. “I guess you’re his problem now.” 

“You know none of the other High Lord’s will want me in their courts, Rhys,” Azriel snarled. “Not after the things I’ve done for you.” 

“Should of thought of that before you betrayed our whole family.” 

“I hear the old Manor is still abandoned in the human lands,” Feyre remarked. “Since Vassa had reclaimed her territory with Jurian at her side and Lucien had moved to Day to be with his father.” 

“We can’t survive there,” Elain sobbed. “Humans hate faeries.” 

“Not my problem, Elain,” Feyre said. “You’re not my problem anymore.” 

“Azriel, do something!” Elain cried, looking at the shadowsinger. 

“What do you expect him to do?” Rhys laughed humorlessly. “He no longer has his title, his place in my court. He has no sway here. You both don’t. You will not change our minds.” 

“Nesta won’t allow this!”

“Nesta,” Feyre said, “is packing up your things as we speak.” 

Elain fell back in her chair, crying. 

“I’d say I wish you two the best, but I don’t,” Rhys said. “You have two hours to sort out whatever you have to before I expect you both to be out of my court. Two hours. Do you understand?” 

“Please,” Elain begged. “Please don’t do this, Feyre.”

But Feyre only shook her head at her sister. “There’s no going back for either of you. Say your goodbyes, sort out your affairs, but you will leave in two hours.” 

Rhys took his leave after that, giving Azriel one last look that was full of disgust, guilt, regret, sadness. One last look at his brother before striding out of that room, never to see or speak to him again. 

────────────

Mor had just left when you heard the flapping of wings approaching your balcony. Thinking it was your brother, you pushed yourself to stand and hobbled over to the balcony doors using the walls of your room for support. You opened the door, expecting to see your brother, but your heart stopped when you came face to face with Azriel. 

Your eyes narrowed and you went to slam the door, but he grabbed it before you could. 

“Please, please just hear me out,” he pleaded. “I will leave, I promise, I just…I just—please.” 

“There is nothing you can say that will make me forgive you, Azriel.”

“I know, baby–”

“Don’t you dare call me that!”

Azriel looked down at his feet. “Okay, I’m sorry. I’m not here to try to earn your forgiveness, Y/n. I know I fucked up beyond repair. I know I failed you, failed us. Words will never be able to convey how much I regret everything.” 

You crossed your arms, leaning against the doorframe as your legs threatened to give out. You were debating screaming out for Cassian. 

Azriel reached into his pocket and pulled out a small stone that looked to be enchanted. He held it out towards you. 

“I can’t…I can’t hear the shadows anymore,” he murmured. “But I can’t just leave you without some way to contact me. In case you ever change your mind, in case there is ever a chance that we can be together again. You’ll be able to call for me with this.”

“That is never going to happen.”

“Please, just take it,” Azriel begged. “Even if you don’t want me, please. If you’re ever in danger again and need help, you can use it for that too. Just please, take it.” 

When you said nothing, didn’t so much as open your palm so he could place the stone in it, he knelt down and placed it at your feet instead. You stared at him, emotionless. You didn’t want to give him anything. He didn’t deserve your tears or your sadness. 

“I’m so sorry, Y/n. I’m so sorry for the way things ended,” Azriel said. “You deserve a better mate than me. If I never…If I never get to see you again after this, I promise I will find you in the next life and the one after that. I will do right by you. I will give us another chance.”

He stared at you, pleading with you to say anything. Anything. Even if you screamed at him, beat him, cried—anything was better than this utter silence. But you didn’t. You merely looked at him like he was nothing to you. Like he was a stranger. 

“Goodbye, Azriel,” you said. “I hope you find happiness in your life. Truly.”

And then you slammed the door shut and walked away. 

And he knew then that your words would haunt him for the rest of his life because he knew he had lost the one real thing that had brought him true happiness forever.

────────────

One Year Later ~ Winter Solstice 

“Get up, you lazy cow!”

The sheets were yanked off your sleeping body, exposing you to the cold morning air. You let out a shriek, cursing at your brother and trying to grab the sheets back.

“What the hell, Cassian!”

“It’s Winter Solstice!”

“It’s also six in the morning,” you retorted, falling back down on your bed. 

“Nope, you’re not going back to sleep,” Cassian said. “It’s time to get up!” 

Before you could even respond, Cassian grabbed you by the ankle and yanked you to the end of the bed. You squealed as he tossed you over his shoulder like a bag of potatoes, pounding on his back as he raced out of the room.

“Cassian! Let me down, you big brute!” 

But he only laughed at you, carrying you all the way to the kitchen where Nesta was sitting at the counter with a steaming cup of tea. She didn’t so much as blink as he dropped you into the chair next to her, already used to her mate’s antics. 

“Goodmorning, Y/n,” Nesta said, pushing an already prepared cup of tea your way.

“Oh, you are an absolute goddess,” you groaned, greedily accepting the mug. You curled your ice cold fingers around it, relishing in the warmth. 

“Hey! What about me?” Cassian yelled, swinging a wash cloth over his shoulder as he started to make breakfast for the two of you. “I’m the one making you guys food!”

“You’re also the one who woke us up, dingbat,” you scoffed, causing Nesta to snort.

It wasn’t long before Cassian was sliding a plate of pancakes your way. “Eat up. You have a long day ahead of you.”

You raised an eyebrow at him but accepted the food, scarfing it down. It was almost hilarious how out of the three of you it was Cassian who cooked the best. 

After breakfast, you retired to your room to get ready to go down to the River House for the real celebrations. Cassian had cryptically told you to wear pants, so you did. You had no idea why until hours later, when you were all lounging in the sitting room after lunch. 

A knock on the front door had you jumping up from your seat. “I’ll get it!” 

No one batted an eye as you raced for the door, pulling it open to see Lucien standing on the doorstep. You let out a noise of excitement, grabbing him in a hug.

“Lucien!” you exclaimed. “You’re here early!” 

A few weeks after the incident, Lucien had sent you a letter asking how you were faring and offering you support. He became a lifeline while you had dealt with the aftermath of saying goodbye to your mate and healing. You both leaned on each other during that time because you were simply the only two who understood the pain of having a mate who fell in love with another. 

“Happy Winter Solstice,” he said as you pulled away and opened the door wider so he could enter. “I’m actually here to retrieve you.”

Your brows furrowed in confusion. “What?”

“Is everything ready?” 

Your brother’s voice came from behind you and you whipped your head around to stare at him. He was wearing his flying leathers now only confusing you further. 

“Yes,” Lucien nodded. 

“What’s going on?” you asked, suspiciously. 

No one else followed Cassian out. Not even Nesta. You frowned as he shook Lucien’s hand, giving him a friendly whack on the back. 

“You’ll see,” your brother said with a grin. “Lucien is going to winnow us somewhere, kiddo, to your solstice gift.”

You looked between them with narrowed eyes but accepted Lucien’s outstretched hand. His grin was the last thing you saw before you were pulled away in a flurry of wind. A second later, you appeared in the middle of a clearing. 

The tall green grass, the slightly warm breeze, the lack of snow, told you that you were in the Spring Court. You whirled to face your brother who let out a sneeze as soon as he got his bearings. 

“What are we doing here?” 

“So, you know how when Feyre was brought back she was given a drop of power from every High Lord?” Cassian asked. 

You nodded, not understanding where this was going. Your hand slipped into your pocket, around a stone that was always kept there. The one Azriel had left you. You had never used it but for some reason, had never parted with it either. At some point, you had started holding it whenever you felt nervous or fell back into the heartache you had experienced last year. 

“Well, of course she inherited part of Tamlin’s shapeshifting powers. And we thought maybe she could shapeshift others the way he does, but after numerous tries, unfortunately it seems as though the sliver of power she received only allows her to transform herself.” 

“It was not fun being the guinea pig for those test runs,” Lucien laughed. “When Feyre was unable to do it, we had to turn to someone else.” 

“Okay, but what does that have to do with me? Or my solstice gift?” 

Before either of them could respond, a noise came from the shrubbery in the distance. Tamlin’s beast form pounced out from it, striding towards you. You gasped and backed away, right into your brother’s chest. He placed a hand on your shoulder.

“It’s okay,” he murmured. “He’s here as a favor to Lucien.”

“And Feyre and Rhys approved this?” you whispered up to him. 

He nodded his assurance.

You let out another gasp as Tamlin shifted back into his fae form. He looked well, better than the last time you had seen him at least. He seemed to have regained some weight and gotten a haircut. You knew he was still in the process of recovering his court. You wondered what sort of strings Lucien had to pull to get him to willingly let you and Cassian come here considering his history with your rulers.

He gave you and Cassian a polite, but bland, greeting which you reciprocated.

“Are any of you going to tell me what’s going on?” 

“Tam is going to help you shapeshift,” Lucien explained. “If you will allow him.”

“Shapeshift? But why would I–”

It clicked in your head, what they were implying, why they had brought you to this large clearing. You whipped around to look up at your brother who seemed to be holding back tears. He gave you a nod, already knowing what you were asking.

“W-wings,” you choked out. “He can give me wings.” 

��It won’t last forever,” Lucien said. “But yes, he can give you wings.”

Tears started slipping down your cheeks and you lurched towards Lucien, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into a hug. You…you were going to have wings. You were going to be able to fly!

You didn’t care that it wouldn’t last forever. Just the chance to fly once more was a gift in itself.

“Thank you,” you whispered into his ear. “Thank you.” 

Lucien laughed, hugging you back before you slowly pulled away from him. You looked over your shoulder at your brother. “This was your idea?”

Cassian shook his head. “As much as I wish I could claim this, it was actually Lucien who thought of this first. I’m just here to supervise–and to offer you a flying partner if you’ll have me.” 

You smiled up at Lucien, unbelievably touched at the thoughtfulness. Lucien wiped your tears from your face, gently, before placing his hands on your shoulders. “Are you ready?”

You nodded with enthusiasm.

Lucien gestured at Tamlin to come closer.

“Thank you for doing this,” you said to him with a small bow of the head. 

“I once watched a faerie die after losing his wings,” Tamlin murmured. “Its…Its a horrific crime. One my family has a history with. I’d like this to be my first step towards making amends for their mistakes.” 

You weren’t sure what to say, so you just gave him a grateful nod of the head. He focused intently on you and you felt his magic surround you. It felt nice, like a crisp Spring breeze. And then you felt a familiar weight on your back. You stumbled for a second, readjusting to how it used to feel having wings. But it surprisingly came back to you quite easily.  

You looked at them over your shoulder, stretching them out and flapping them a few times. They looked just like your brother’s and you realized Tamlin must’ve used him as a guide. You grinned, facing Cassian. 

“Race you towards the end of the clearing,” you shouted before taking off into the sky. 

Your brother’s laughter followed after you as he too launched into the sky. 

+++

Hours after night had fallen, you found yourself behind the River House, leaning on the railing to watch the slow moving river. Your wings had since dissipated, but you hadn’t felt this light in a long time. Being able to fly today had healed you in some way.

You had spent a lot of time thinking while you flew amongst the clouds. Thinking of who you used to be. Sometimes you missed that girl, sometimes you wished more than anything to be her again. 

But you hadn’t felt that today…

Today, you had felt like a new person. Like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon. And perhaps in a way, you were. 

Life had never been predictable. Your whole life had been filled with tragedy and sorrow, challenges and hard work, happiness and joy, regret and insecurities. You had gone through so much, so much, but somehow, you were always able to come out on the other side.

It wasn’t easy. It involved many days of despair, awful thoughts, and soulless recovery. You had to fight to get up sometimes, had to fight just to feel something. Sometimes it seemed like you’d conquer one mountain only to be faced with another. 

If it wasn’t for your brother, you were certain you would’ve fallen back a dozen times. But he had been your pillar of strength, your rock to rest against when things got too hard. And Mor and Rhys had been there to help lift you back up. 

You had gained new friends, found a new life for yourself. Metamorphosed into a new person. 

That girl from a year ago? 

Well, you were finally going to let her die. 

You reached into your pocket and pulled out the stone Azriel had left you. You ran your thumb over its smooth surface. It didn’t hurt as much to look at it now, not like it had before. Before it had represented so many things.

The loss of love, the grief of losing your wings, the reminder that he had betrayed you. 

But now…now it just looked like a rock. 

You gripped it in your fist and tossed it into the Sidra, watching as it hit the water’s surface with a small thud before sinking down into the black water. Down and down, until it would find its way to the bottom. Perhaps then it would drift out into the sea. 

You heard the backdoor to the house open.

“Hey, Y/n, come on!” Mor shouted out to you. “We’re going to Ritas!” 

You took one last look at where the rock had disappeared in the water, letting out a long breath. 

“Goodbye,” you whispered into the cold air. “I’ll see you in our next lifetime. Maybe then you’ll deserve me.” 

With a new weight lifted off your shoulders, you turned and marched back to your new beginning. 

[se-rae2]

Yandere! Knight—intriguing as you were, he can't grasp exactly why he felt as drawn to you as he did, considering how it was your first meeting.

Mysterious! Reader

WARNINGS: Drugging

You feel guilty.

You hadn't meant any harm, truly. It wasn't malice that guided your hand, only a quiet, desperate longing for company. For someone—anyone—to stay a little longer in the silence that had become far too loud.

Despite the fact that the presence of others always unsettled you, there was something different about this man—you could feel it. From the moment he had knocked on your door, bloodied and bruised from gods-know-what battle, you had been inexplicably drawn to him.

It was as though his very existence had unsettled the stillness you’d grown so accustomed to, and yet, for reasons you couldn’t quite name, you didn’t mind.

It unsettles you now, the weight of it pressing heavier with each passing moment. But back then—back in that fleeting, fragile moment—you’d made a choice. You had slipped a little something into his drink. Nothing lethal, nothing cruel, just... something to make him stay. Just a little longer.

Your sisters would, undoubtedly, frown at your actions, not that they mattered. Not anymore.

They had long since ceased to be your sisters the moment they cast you out of the coven. A power they deemed uncontrollable, a mistake you had not chosen.

They were meant to embrace the outcasts, to welcome the unwelcome, and yet—they had turned their backs on you. Shunned you. Just like the villagers had. For something you could no more control than the wind or the tide.

But Nicholas didn’t shun you. Not yet. Not then. The knight had introduced himself with weary eyes and a cautious smile, accepting your offer of shelter with a gratitude that had disarmed you.

And now—now he was here, perched in your lap, his weight both familiar and foreign. It had embarrassed you the first time he suggested such a thing, his easy manner reddening your ears.

But he had asked again. And again. Until his requests became as natural as the sound of the fire crackling in your hearth, and your resistance gave way to a reluctant tolerance.

At least, that’s what you told yourself.

But his armour dug into your legs, heavy and unyielding, and his nonchalance did little to soothe your growing regret. It had felt harmless at first—a small indulgence, a quiet transgression for a soul so starved of companionship.

You’d tended his wounds, warmed him by your fire, and offered him safety. You hadn’t taken anything from him, you told yourself. Nothing he couldn’t spare.

And yet, as he sits there now—his hands lingering just a moment too long, his touch a shade too deliberate—you feel something begin to shift. The balance you’d been so certain of tips, and unease coils tight in the pit of your stomach.

You wanted him to stay. But you hadn’t thought to consider what might happen if he did.

You shift slightly beneath him, the discomfort of his weight growing with each passing moment. A knot tightens in your chest, something unfamiliar stirring within you, something you’d been avoiding.

You’d let him stay because you wanted it—needed it—but now, with the warmth of the fire casting shadows around the room, the silence between you feels heavier than before.

Finally, you take a breath, hesitant, your voice barely above a whisper. "Nicholas... maybe it’s time for you to leave."

The words hang in the air, awkward and fragile, as though they might shatter if said too loudly. You tell yourself it’s the right thing, the necessary thing. But why, then, does your heart pound, and your breath catch in your throat?

"It's not that you've done anything wrong! It's just that with you being healed and all..."

He freezes. The shift is immediate, as if your words had cut through the calm like a sharp blade.

His posture goes rigid, and the warmth that had softened his features fades, replaced by a cold, simmering intensity.

The air around him thickens with an unsettling quiet, and for the first time, you sense a hint of something dangerous beneath his calm exterior.

He doesn’t raise his voice, but there’s a sharpness in his tone that wasn’t there before. "Leave?" His words are clipped, precise, each one deliberate as if carefully controlled. "Is that really what you want?"

You can feel the tension in his body, his muscles coiled tight, but his gaze remains level, too steady, as though he’s holding himself back—holding back something dark, something that threatens to spill over if provoked further.

It’s the eerie calmness of it that unnerves you. He’s angry, yes, but there’s a quiet restraint in the way he holds it in check, as if he doesn’t want to hurt you, but can’t promise he won’t.

Is this what his enemies felt?

The realization hits you like a sudden, cold wave. The tension in the room, the stillness that crackles with restrained power, the barely contained anger in his voice—it’s all too familiar, too sharp.

You can’t help but wonder how many had faced him like this, how many had felt that same suffocating sense of dread, knowing that his calmness was a veil, hiding something far darker beneath. Something they had pushed too far and paid the price for.

A part of you shudders at the thought, and for the first time, you question if you’ve made a mistake—if this quiet man before you, this knight who was neither harmless nor ruthless, could be something so much worse.

Previous | Next

suprise! not sure if it was too obvi but u drugged him, yay! have fun trying to deal with the repercussions lol

but no srsly DO NOT drug ppl guys 😐 also reader is a witch! how fun. I've always wanted to read a knight x witch fic and I haven't found any good ones, so I just decided to write one, not sure if this is good tho, i mean, by my standards it is soo... anyway thx for reading. I hope y'all have a great day!

[efemmera-archive]

3 Lesbian Paintings by Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec (circa 1892-93)

"Paris. Late 19th and early 20th century. Quite a few affluent men led double lives: outwardly respectable by day, seekers of erotic titillation at brothels and café cabarets by night. Commercial wealth created by the French Empire bankrolled a sophisticated capital city, which could only be dreamed of elsewhere. But it was the women who brought this dreamworld to life... Young women earned very little money as dancers in the corps de ballet or as artist models. Hardship drove many to become sex workers and courtesans: an existence, for some, marked by destitution, substance abuse, and obscurity; for others, marked by success and acclaim. Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec (1864-1901) immortalized many of these women in extraordinary drawings and paintings.  Much like the women he painted, Lautrec was always an outsider. Born into an aristocratic family, Lautrec inherited a congenital disease. After he broke both his legs as a teenager, he never properly healed, remaining a dwarf for the rest of his life. Already feeling different from those around him, he turned to the study of fine art and moved to Montmartre, the bohemian district in Paris. His highly productive life was spent largely among nightclub performers, sex workers, and hangers-on. He died at the age of thirty-six from complications of alcoholism and syphilis.... Like no other artist, his drawings openly reveal the secret life of sex workers, many of whom had intimate relationships with each another, finding some emotional comfort and stability in a profession that offered none at the time. He presents real life lesbian sex workers holding each other in bed, kissing, and embracing – in these paintings, it is clear they weren’t performing sex acts for the viewing pleasure of male clients. "

Source

[otkuhotgirl]

─── 𝐅𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐇 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐄𝐒 .

# with black-leg sanji and roronoa zoro.

you are unable to choose between the two men who had fallen in love with you. their solution presents itself in the form of sexual competition.

⎰ & KINKTOBER, day eight. smut (mdni!). threesome. sensory deprivation. double penetration. anal. fingering (reader!receiving). blindfold. bdsm. afab!reader. no y/n used.

WC: 2.5k

zoro and sanji were as similar to one another as the moon was to the sun; the tides were to the flames. one did not suppose there yet existed a single topic with which the pair could agree with. their fighting styles were nothing if not divergent. their taste in alcohol might as well have inspired the water-and-oil analogy. personalities; most favored tastes and colors; fashion sense — or the lack thereof, in zoro’s case; the conception of what was deemed attractive. the two were incapable of meeting a common ground, and those around them had all but quit to witness the instance in which they would share a similar opinion. when one was, too, to consider the amount of women sanji flirted with — the same ones zoro did not felt the urge to spare a miserable second-glance at — not a soul expected their lines to overlap in the romantic field.

which all but made their harbored feelings for you far more surprising. not to misplace the root to such astonishment, for you were neither unattractive nor dull. rather despairing to learn that the only subject of agreeableness between the two also happened to be the one they were willing to compete twice as much for.

whenever sanji strived to serve you heart-shaped pastries, zoro would attempt to counter-attack by lifting weights without a shirt on, in front of you. if you were to comment on a favorite color, sanji was soon to match his ties to it — whereas zoro was soon to throw them out when given the chance. the ensued chaos sure was the worst during re-stocking hours, for if you decided to stroll around the town, the two would bicker and follow. sanji would, naturally, have the upper hand throughout the initial hours — the swordsman had a broken compass for a center, and it was not hard to have him lost within the minute — however, for some obnoxious motive, zoro somewhat had never once failed to reencounter the pair of you, which meant that he would then glue to your side until the late hour of night, striving to make up for the lost time. those specific situations were so stressful on itself that you resorted to chopper to serve as company; the reindeer’s presence and excitement serving as brief reprieve from their constant bickering.

the two-year interval between the crew had been one of hope. distance sure would see fit to resolve the matters of your heart and ensue in a decision. zoro and sanji were prone to be at eternal odds, yet they were not disrespectful whatsoever. the non-chosen one would not hesitate to retreat if your love was to be poured into another. it would be a devastating vision, a never-ending pain and non-healing wound, yet one both were willing to withstand for the sake of your happiness.

the problem was that, as wonderful and selfless as that behavior sounded, you, in fact, had not been able to choose during the time apart. the longing proved itself to be equal, you did not miss one more than the other, so much as you did not prioritize your breathing over your heartbeat. both were important pieces that built themselves a solage in the fissure of your once maimed heart. sanji was warmth and professed love, external affection and sweet-coated sentences; the soothing embrace of spring with a trail of divergent petals. zoro was the mountain whose surface no force could maim. he was the much needed instance of shared silence in the aftermath of a tiring day, the reassurance of a lingering hand. love explicit through protection and care, the guarantee of a fierce guardian even in slumber.

zoro was the steel that sliced those who had dared to maim you, while sanji was the hand that patched your wounds. whereas sanji was the breeze to sway on your kite, zoro was the rock underneath to stop you from soaring far away. but you would never dare voice said thoughts, fearing the negative repercussions. regardless, the postponement in your decision all but started to cause unrecoverable commotion.

the separation led them both to overcompensate — and clash — in order to be given a fraction of your time. yet, surprisingly enough, the discussions weren’t the most obnoxious aspect, for the crew had grown accustomed to them. no. the unbearable lied on the sexual tension, almost palpable enough to be sliced and with its aftermath painful to those with ears. lustful glances shared and caught; zoro’s tendencies on leaving the crow’s nest door unlocked whenever he decided to masturbate; sanji’s barely contained moans when he bathed; your own restlessness and mood-shifts born from the unattended desire. characters such as franky and luffy, chopper and robin, had not a care in the world — the latter going as far as finding it amusing. usopp and nami, however, had enough, and were successful in their plan of setting the three of you in the sunny while the rest of the crew ventured through the newest found island. the ship was large enough for temporary avoidance, yet an eventual clash was inevitable, and the coward duo all but hoped that would serve as an enough motivator to resolve things.

unbeknownst to them, sanji and zoro had agreed on certain terms beforehand, sharing a thorough — oftentimes heated — discussion over relationship schedules and dynamics were you to agree with their solution. sharing altogether was not the sweetest fruit to the palate; yet, was the initial plan to fail, it’d have to be enough.

it started with sanji’s usual pampering. a dessert with a purposefully exacerbated amount of cream; a cold beverage served with a holed-straw, forcing the liquid to drip down your chin and covered breasts. when you retrieved from the deck in search of a change of clothes, zoro had been the one to cage you halfway, sweat-covered chest bumping into your sticky one — with sanji following thereafter, your back pressed against his front. their proposition was quite simple: a shared fuck with a blindfold, for without the aid of sight, you would be unable to assign faces to touches. that who pleased you more would be the chosen one; loser forced to retreat. it was a fair trade — and on god, you’d not be the one to complain.

they had argued; from which room to guide you, to which position would be the most suitable. zoro wanted to use his bandana, whereas sanji wanted to use one of his ties, meaning you ended up blindfolded and with your hands tied behind your back, bare and vulnerable; blind to the external world. although all was to be expected, considering the amount of repressed desire, you were surprised to learn that they planned on being agonizingly slow.

a gloved hand wrapped itself around your throat, for without the absence or presence of calluses, caught-on through touch, you would be unable to guess whose fingers were those. you were sat on a muscular lap — yet another no indicator, for neither lacked in that department. the pair seemed to agree on not speaking at all as well, but you were quite sure their identities would eventually be denounced by their grunts and moans.

the deprivation of sight had enhanced the rest of your senses. your hearing grew more attuned; your skin, twice as sensitive. the rough pattern of the glove left a trail of goosebumps in its wake, fingers guiding themselves down to your glistening core, dripping on the thigh underneath. the sudden contact with an ice cube had you gasping, your head resting on the shoulder of the unknown man. melting-cold water surrounded your pert nipples as that who lingered in front of you teased your breasts; the gloved finger drew languid circles on your clit, eliciting a sudden moan in response. you felt the stiffening of both figures, struggling to contain their reaction.

the man underneath had clenched the muscles of his thigh, gripping the flesh of your waist as the testing roll of your hips ignited your arousal, your cunt all but leaking at the stimulation. ice traveled from your chest to your belly button; above your ribs. your back arched at those mixed sensations, the coldness from above and the heat from below. your nipples were flicked, wet and freezing, before the buds were teased with the brief, tickling touch of a feather. the other shifted ever-so-slightly, the sudden movement causing his thigh to brush harder against your swollen clit; a lascivious moan clawing its way through your throat.

a hiss — zoro. a whimper — sanji. mingled and sudden sounds, hastily muted, with directions unknown. a sudden object, leather-made, was roughly wrapped around your thigh, tight enough to interrupt the blood influx altogether. somewhere, sanji choked, as if disapprovingly, yet the teasing hand lingered; the gloved finger toying with the straps. the fingers to your intimacy made their return, index and middle rubbing against your inner lips; tongue swirling around your earlobe, threatening to penetrate it, wet and loud sucking in pair with the sudden insertion of a finger in your throbbing cunt. you gasped, figure moving yet halting, for the belt constricting your thigh made it all far more painful. the sudden release of pressure had you mewling, all but for the bind to return, constricting the current of your own blood.

yet another ice cube drew patterns on one of your breasts, your nostrils catching on the aroma of a scented candle. the sound of a lighter; the sudden approach of heat. while a set of fingers busied themselves with press of melting ice on your flesh, teasing a hardened nipple with the freezing texture, the other part of your chest fell prey to a gentle rain of candle wax, heated and immediate, the sensation divergence enough to ensue a cascate of broken moans.

earmuffs had been placed, depriving you, too, of sound. the sudden jolt of a thigh had you bouncing; reacting due to mere instinct. when you whimpered, chasing the touch of the finger within your core; leg trembling due to the absence of blood influx, a choir of muffled and unrecognizable grunting and whimpering followed-in-suit. sharp canines dug on the juncture between neck and shoulder at the same time that a nipple was twisted by a foreign finger, coated in hot wax. goosebumps surged without second-thought; heavy breathing fanning above your ear.

the two men were mingling, a converging set in which you were to become the one caught in the middle. ice teased your parted lips, prying them open, the freezing water replaced with the warmth of another’s mouth; a sweet, brief, kiss, all but altered once you attempted to chase it. your lips were then stolen, steel-made grip maintained in your chin. the one underneath did not seem to like that in the slightest, for the pace of a swirling thumb around your clit made itself fast and demanding, your mewls swallowed by the other’s famished mouth — him, too, a moaning mess.

the gloved hand wrapped itself around a nipple, tugging at it before groping your breast. the kiss was broken then, a choir of unheard complaints falling from said man while your back was forced against the chest of the other; your cunt dripping and close to one’s erection. you tried grinding against it, yet the belt at your other thigh made each movement far more painful than it should have been. besides, it seemed as though zoro and sanji had agreed on which holes belonged to who beforehand, and the one underneath did not seem to have his cock meant to your pussy. instead, his mouth latched itself onto your neck, biting and sucking as he had your hips raised ever-so-slightly, allowing his tip to tease the folds of your ass. it traveled in between, coating the flesh with his pre-cum; briefly pressing itself against your entrance before immediate retreat.

you caught on a sudden shuffle, the pressure of the man standing vanishing all of the sudden. instead, he knelt in order to correct the angle of your figure on the other’s lap, his fingers trailing down your butthole. he collected your essence upon the fingering of your then neglected cunt, and the ice made its return; cold water mingled with heated pre-cum. he applied pressure on the tight entrance, his index sliding inside until the knuckle, pumping itself in-and-out, stretching your hole properly before the addition of his middle-finger. the man blew a gust of air against your clit, seeming to drown in your scent, yet not daring to dart his tongue and have a taste — as it seemed, the right to oral had not been a consensus. your butthole was scissored while the flesh of your shoulder was assaulted by bruising kisses, the gloved hand groping your right breast with maiming strength.

at last, yet another sudden shift had a tip pressed against the entrance where the other’s fingers were previously buried inside. the correction, too, had granted one the desired access to your dripping, throbbing cunt, his own tip teasing your folds. you trembled in anticipation, fingers struggling against the fabric of the tie that deprived you from reciprocating said touches.

a heartbeat of silence, all but too brief, before you were filled at once. the cock shoved inside your butthole was larger; the veins were more prominent. that, who stretched your cunt, was larger, the curved tip reaching a further length, finding your g-spot on its first attempt. you howlered, your throat burning at the expense of your sounds of pleasure. their paces were erratic; much too different for a common ground to be found. the one to fuck your ass was harsher; steadier. his balls were a constant against your flesh as he all but forced himself inside, his tongue and teeth licking and biting at whichever inch of bare skin he could find. that man had you stretched and vulnerable; aching and begging.

the one at your cunt was sloppier, far more desperate. he had parted your legs open, tore the belt off your thigh and threw it somewhere you could not see — the sudden absence of pressure all but enhancing the pleasure. the grip on your raised calves were what kept him tethered to that realm, his chest threatening to press itself against your own whenever his shaft was buried inside until the base. he was faster, too, and more eager. whereas the man at your butthole removed all but half of his member to shove yet again with devastating force, the pussy-drunk one retrieved himself entirely, until the tip threatened to spill off your entrance, before lunging his tip back into your g-spot.

it was overwhelming; maddening. it was the most pleasurable experience you had ever experienced. your words became babbles; saliva dripped down your chin at the failed attempts of letting them know you were close. it was unimportant whatsoever, for your high came as though a flood: abundant, never-stopping. you creamed the cock that remained deep inside your walls while the sound of your pleasure mingled with those from the men around you.

your cunt was vacant seconds thereafter, the tip of one’s shaft pressed against your abdomen as a stream of cum smeared your skin clear-white. the other kept plunging into you, the brief overstimulation causing you to squirm and whine before he, too, released himself — only that he had done so inside —, riding his own high and emptying the contents of his balls, the cum enough to slip past the folds of your ass and drip down his own thighs.

you fell limply on said man’s back, breathing heavily, your skin coated in sweat and cum; water and wax. the earmuffs slipped, and you had half-the-mind to decode the ongoing discussion at hand.

“YOU CAME INSIDE!”

“WELL, SHITTY-COOK, IF YOU WANTED IT AS WELL SO BADLY, YOU SHOULD’VE TAKEN DIBS ON THE ASS!”

“RELEASE HER, YOU BRUTE—”

well, at least that served you as a tool to assign faces to sensations.

— 🐈‍⬛ : late but never forgotten! if you’re here from the kinktober masterlist, wondering “where the fuck are the other days?!”, i feel the need to apologize yet again! i’m still a bit sick and hadn’t had the strength to re-read the previous stories, correct minor errors and post them in time. that being said, ace, kid and robin will be posted on the vacant, third week! super SUUUUUUPER sorry!

[rotagnus]

pick a pile: the upcoming month.

1.

most of february will be spent recovering from a hard period of time in your life. i saw a lot of yellow and bright colors, so i think that you'll be having some soft joy in your life. you can expect to have a little bit of anxious energy, though, but to fix this i highly suggest finding/growing some kind of hobby, like writing poetry, journaling, doing yoga, meditating, or even spending time outside, just observing nature. i think that this month will mainly focus on yourself and existing connections rather than finding new people. i think you like to get new friends, you're a very bright and fluttery person, but you should invest some energy within yourself. spring will be eventful for you, but in order to prepare, you have to relax.

song: televangelism by ethel cain.

significance: appalachia, ethel cain, 111, 1212, fruit, small towns, possums, seeds, attics.

2.

this month will be a month of travel. you're moving forwards, unlike pile 1; expect change. this pile is my strong pile. you may be the eldest, and you're a spitfire. you're a beautiful storm. it may be a bit of a harder month, and i see that some of you may deal with some seasonal depression. you tend to isolate yourself and push away people when you're feeling bad because you crack like an egg when you try to open up; you become very vulnerable and you view this as weakness. reach out for help. your circle is rooting for you, you just have to take the hand that they're extending for you. you can do this. try to get out of the house. experiment with your fashion. change your hairstyle. find a new type of makeup. some parts of this month may feel agonizingly slow--move past it by embracing boredom.

song: bloom for me by pearly drops.

significance: apples, french, 333, fender guitars, pink, marshmellows, shoulders, malls.

3.

i think this pile will be focusing on a specific theme/person during this month. this is going to help you overcome some past trauma and will help you heal, as long as you take baby steps. there might be a person or a hobby or even a pet that will be your pillar of support. for some people, this will be yourself and the other person will come in later. you must take care of yourself. you're a very very special person. you have a good heart and your breath is your poetry. i think some of you have difficulty forgiving yourself. that's the first step of moving forwards. for the other person, make sure that the connection is not one-sided. this is going to revolutionize and change your path in a good way, but you have to trust your gut and follow your heart.

song: sorry by alex g / i will by mitski.

significance: dragons, orange, smiles, brown eyes, smoothies, butterflies, 666, the future, mango, college.

this is my first reading on this account--i had one before and deleted it because i was overwhelmed. i hope you are all doing well :) feedback is appreciated! let me know what topics you'd want me to do (i can do crushes and current love interests but no fs.) have a nice day and rest!