#and that had huge negative effects on me

[cobra-creampuff]

so anyway. headcanon that richie doesn't believe he deserves to be happy, but he makes a concerted effort to live a happy and fulfilling life post derry 2.0 anyway because the kid he used to be still deserves it, and also because all the kids and adults who don't know if it's possible for them or if they deserve it either need to see they can still have it too.

[steeltwigz]

Saw a post abt the Sonic movies that was like "plz filter negativity posts better" which is GOOD AND TRUE you should be doing that. Ok. But then they kept going to imply that the criticisms of the Sonic movies are all entirely Personal and Ignorable and not like. Usually abt the horrific copaganda, misogynistic writing, and Paramount's disgusting zionism.... Guys a lot of ppls problem w the Knuckles show wasn't JUST a bastardization of Knuckles' character or thinking Wade was annoying or whatever, but like was focused on the grotesque Zionist message from that one episode 😭😭😭 you can enjoy something and still recognize that it has intrinsic and huge glaring flaws and talk abt them. I think actually you Should be speaking up abt the misogyny, zionism and propaganda the SCU supports and discusses, ESPECIALLY if you like the movies! Its important to be able to recognize these things in media and admit that even media you personally enjoy can be deeply problematic, instead of hiding it away and pretending those HUGE FLAWS aren't issues actually....

[sixth-light]

I have had these thoughts bubbling away in my head for like...eighteen months or so now (it will become very obvious why shortly) but the discussion in this post has pushed me to write them down: I think societally we HUGELY underestimate how motherhood for primary caregivers, particularly first-time motherhood, can be a source of vulnerability to radicalisation.

There is obviously huge cultural variance here, but for a lot of cis women becoming primary caregiver to an infant in a capitalist Western society represents a time of immense vulnerability because in general you are:

Incredibly sleep-deprived (which has well-documented knock-on effects for your judgement, mental health, etc)

If you gave birth, recovering from a significant challenge to your physical health (even in the best-case scenario)

Isolated from your previous networks and communities of people in full-time work

Completely separated from the context of your prior career goals and achievements

Under huge amounts of stress to learn how to care for an infant (don't get me started on breastfeeding)

And on top of this, you are also be experiencing a huge amount of messaging about how all this is natural, wonderful, something you're meant to do, something you should love doing, and something that you must do for the welfare of their child. It's a huge amount of pressure and life change even when everything goes right and there's very little cultural space to express negative feelings about it.

Any group of people who offer community, support, and affirmation to cis women in this situation are going to have a really good shot at radicalising them into some very weird and dangerous headspaces and in fact we see this happen all the time - think antivaxxers and TERFs. It flies under the radar because of the hazy positive glow that associates with motherhood and babies and also because we don't take the radicalisation of women seriously I guess because they rarely shoot anybody, but...yeah. It is such a vulnerable time!

[ms-demeanor]

Hey friend! So while I'm incredibly skeptical, I'm not strictly against alternative medicine, like you are. I saw you mention reiki, and thought you might geek out on this article like I did:

https://web.archive.org/web/20200308195914/https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2020/04/reiki-cant-possibly-work-so-why-does-it/606808/

It's called "Reiki Can't Possibly Work. So Why Does It?" and I highly encourage reading the whole thing. It first of all thoroughly debunks a lot of the claims reiki practitioners make but it also details all of the studies that have proven its effectiveness and provides what I find a pretty compelling explanation: that much of modern western medicine is stressful and traumatizing. Of course laying in a quiet room with the lights dimmed while a kind person sits with you and wishes for you to be well is effective. It reduces stress and all of the negative biological processes it triggers, which promotes healing.

The article mentions that for years we didn't understand the mechanism by which acetaminophen worked - we just knew it did. I knew a man who was really into "chakra therapy" in the 90s where he had a set of colored sunglasses that, supposedly, would rebalance one's out-of-whack chakras through light therapy. He found that attending to his throat chakra, yellow, helped him sleep better. Years later, formal studies found that yellow lenses filter blue light and can help regulate circadian rhythms.

When I was really little, my uncle sold magnet therapy products (which claimed to promote circulation?? I think??). I had a huge meltdown at a family reunion and no one could get me to calm down. My uncle put a blanket full of magnets on top of me, and I immediately relaxed. Imagine my surprise hearing that story for the first time as an adult who now uses a weighted blanket for stress.

I agree that people need to be really careful about these practices, about getting scammed, and especially about herbal supplements that can have dangerous interactions. I also think there's an extent to which you can analyze the risks and benefits and say, "Okay, I have no idea why this works but it does and there's no major downsides."

Hey so I get a bit heated in this response but I want you to know that I approached this ask in good faith because I know you and I know that we have a lot of the same values and interests and this touched a nerve that was not at all your fault and once I get past the direct response to the article I think I come off a little less. Um. Like the aggression there is not directed at you, it's directed at the article and at one person mentioned in the article specifically who is part of why my reaction to the article is so not good. But I promise after the last bullet point I come off as less reactive, I think. (I'm also publishing this publicly because I think it may be helpful for people to see how CAM stuff often gets away with a veneer of skepticism-that-isn't-actually-skepticism - the article claims to be skeptical but then makes a ton of assumptions and cites some truly mind-bogglingly bad sources that a lot of people won't recognize as bad if they don't have a hair trigger trained by far too much time on the bad CAM parts of the internet).

I've actually read that article a few time times, and would like to do a quick rundown on why I find it unconvincing:

She doesn't cite any decent studies on reiki; one that she does cite is just a self-reported questionnaire response from 23 people in 2002.

While we don't know the exact mechanism of action for acetaminophen, we do know that it does work - it measurably reduces fever and in double blinded RCTs produces reproduceable results in reducing certain kinds of pain. The Science Based Medicine authors cited in the article who called for an end to studies on reiki did so both because there is no plausible mechanism of action for reiki (specifically as energy work, not as 'being in a room with a patient person who listens to you') and because there is no good evidence that it works. (And they wrote a follow-up to the Atlantic article; I like SBM but it's quite sneery, as are most of their write-ups of reiki). When Kisner asks "why should this be different?" when comparing reiki and acetaminophen, the answer is: because there is not only no plausible way that reiki *could* work, there is not any good evidence we have that it works better than placebo.

"Various non-Western practices have become popular complements to conventional medicine in the past few decades, chief among them yoga, meditation, and acupuncture, all of which have been the subject of rigorous scientific studies that have established and explained their effectiveness." This one sentence needs probably twenty or so links in response, suffice it to say that western medicine has emphatically not established and explained the effectiveness of AT LEAST acupuncture and the casually credulous way Kisner accepts that acupuncture is effective (effective FOR WHAT?) throws some serious doubt on her ability to assess these kinds of things.

The title of the article is "Reiki can't possibly work, so why does it?" and that's probably the Atlantic's fault more than Jordan Kisner's fault, but she doesn't ever demonstrate that it works. She says she got a buzzy feeling after her training, she says that patients at the VA were asking for reiki as treatment for pain and sleep disorders, she says that people remembered "healing touches" from parents and loved ones and that the same mechanism might be what makes reiki 'work.' She says that reiki "has been shown by various studies that pass evidentiary muster to help patients in a variety of ways when used as a complementary practice" and the two studies that she includes that weren't just a questionnaire were 1) a non-blinded study of heart rate variability post heart attack where the reiki arm involved continuous interaction with a trained nurse and the other two arms involved resting quietly or classical music (so relaxation as a result of additional focused attention by attentive medical professionals could account for this? Why was the control for this study not having a med student sit and hold the patient's hand?) and 2) a study of patients who sought out reiki who were surveyed after treatment and noted improvement on one of twenty mental or physical markers (this study is like, GOLD for an example of a bad study; no control, self-selected participants who believe in the efficacy of the intervention, exceptionally broad criteria for a positive result - I find it really really really challenging to grant any credence to someone who confidently cited this as an example of reiki "working")

Near the end of the article she says "At the same time, this recalled the most cutting-edge, Harvard-stamped science I’d read in my research: Ted Kaptchuk’s finding that the placebo effect is a real, measurable, biological healing response to “an act of caring.” - if she read any of Ted Kaptchuk's research she didn't link to it; what she did link to was a 2018 New York Times profile of him and Kathryn Hall, researchers at Harvard's Placebo Studies and the Therapeutic Encounter program. Being any flavor of journalist and citing Ted Kaptchuk as your source for cutting-edge, institutionally-backed science is disqualifying.

I now need to do some yelling about Ted Kaptchuk.

For clarity: I have as much medical training as Kathryn Hall and Ted Kaptchuk, which is to say: None.

Hall is a microbiologist with a PhD in Public Health, so she at least a background in science. Kaptchuk is an acupuncturist with a BA in East Asian studies and a doctorate in Chinese medicine - notably NOT a medical degree; he was forced to stop calling himself a doctor and had papers retracted after enough people questioned whether the school he claimed he attended even existed and the documents he presented to claim that he was an "OMD" were conclusively translated and did not have any indication that the granted a medical degree of any kind - Science Based Medicine was involved in investigating this because they've been comprehensively anti-quack forever and Ted Kaptchuk has been a quack forever (after recieving confirmation from the government of Macau that Kaptchuk's alma mater was not a medical degree granting institution SBM STILL gave him the benefit of the doubt and had people translate his documentation for final confirmation).

He is also an author on of one of my most beloathed ever studies, which showed that sham acupuncture, placebo, and albuterol all produced the same effect on patient-reported well-being, coming to the conclusion that patient reports can be unreliable and that "placebo effects can be clinically meaningful and can rival the effects of active medication in patients with asthma." That fucking line, that stupid goddamned line, gets cited in every piece of woo bullshit about how acupuncture or chiropractic or some scam-ass diet all work, I've run into this study while looking through at least twenty bibliographies and it is one of the biggest, reddest flags that whoever is writing the paper you're reading is full up on some bullshit. Because, see, the paper found that "placebo effects can be clinically meaningful and can rival the effects of active medication in patients with asthma" in terms of *patient-reported* markers, but the fucking study found that only albuterol produced an actual effect in lung function. Here's the sentence BEFORE the one that gets cited all the time: "Although albuterol, but not the two placebo interventions, improved FEV1 [forced expiratory volume in one second - the measure for lung function used in the study and used to diagnose asthma] in these patients with asthma, albuterol provided no incremental benefit with respect to the self-reported outcomes." It doesn't matter if the patient *feels* better if they can't actually breathe! It doesn't fucking matter - feeling better but still having poor breathing leaves you more vulnerable to dying of a fucking asthma attack! I hate this goddamned study so fucking much and it's used all the time to claim that placebo can be just as effective as medicine for making people FEEL better but, like, they're still sick even if they feel better! I HAVE HAD PEOPLE CITE THIS STUPID FUCKING STUDY TO ME AS EVIDENCE THAT I DON'T CARE ENOUGH ABOUT TREATING MY FUCKING ASTHMA BECAUSE I DON'T GET ACUPUNCTURE TO TREAT MY FUCKING ASTHMA. If sham acupuncture makes you feel better when you've got the flu but doesn't lower your fever or make you less contagious, you shouldn't act like you don't have a fever or aren't contagious this study makes me INSANE.

Okay done yelling.

I think this look at placebo in the midst of her article about reiki is really interesting because it's very common for CAM practitioners to claim that it's as effective as placebo - which just means that it's not effective. This is a great explanation from The Skeptic on why placebo isn't and can't be what Kaptchuk, Hall, and the like claim. It's also interesting to me that Kisner didn't choose to link to a 2011 New Yorker profile of Kaptchuk that is somewhat less rosy about his placebo studies and includes this absolutely crushing statement: "the placebo effect doesn’t appear to work with Alzheimer’s patients. Trivers suggests that this is because most people who have Alzheimer’s disease are unable to anticipate the future and are therefore unable to prepare for it."

But to the actual point of the ask: I honestly think it's fascinating how much CAM success probably rides on "well did you listen to the patient and pay attention to what was wrong with them and sympathize with them and help them lay out plan that made them feel like they had some agency in this exceptionally frustrating situation (chronic illness, newly diagnosed issue, totally undiagnosed issue) that they're dealing with?"

I know part of why people with chronic illnesses turn to CAM is because they're ignored and dismissed by allopathic practitioners who are largely looking for horses, not zebras - this is one of the reasons that I'm really big on reminding people that (at least in the US) DOs are fully licensed physicians who use a holistic and patient-centered approach so if you are someone with a chronic illness who has had trouble getting diagnosed or had trouble getting doctors to believe you, swapping your MD for a DO as a primary care physician might be really, really helpful to you.

But the flip side of that is that is that I worry deeply about the question of where harm starts; the example with your uncle is really great because you do have a solid instance of something working but for totally the wrong reason (pressure being the mechanism that actually helped, versus magnets being the reason given by the person who did the treatment). Some of this stuff has very little likelihood of causing direct harm, but has the distinct possibility of having indirect harms, which people in the anti-CAM space generally divide into two categories, treatment delay and unnecessary costs (opportunity costs, monetary costs, wasted effort, etc.)

I'm going to step outside of your specific example and look at magnet therapy generally, which really is a spectacular thing to focus on because it honestly doesn't have any direct harms; nobody is allergic to magnets, the kinds of magnets used aren't strong enough to interfere with medical devices, it's even safer than the whole "well herbalism is sometimes just a cup of tea" thing because there are "safe" teas that can do real harm to large populations! But simply being around magnets is not going to hurt anyone (unless they're swallowed; nobody swallow magnets please).

One of the things that I think goes under-discussed when talking about placebo and CAM is that the people trying the alternative solutions desperately WANT the alternative medicine to work (I suspect that this is why the self-selected study of reiki patients has such a significant finding). They are pulling for it; they may be looking at it as a last resort, or they may be hoping that it will work to avoid a treatment that is more frightening, expensive, or inaccessible. I think this actually contributes a lot to the delay of care that we see with CAM.

The absolute worst case harm I can imagine from magnetic therapy is delaying treatment. Let's suppose we've got a diabetic patient with gradually increasing peripheral neuropathy; they have reacted poorly to gabapentin in the past and are looking for something more natural, and they hear from their chiropractor that magnet therapy can be used to treat neuropathy. They buy some compression socks with "magnetic and earthing properties" and sleep in the socks. Whether through the compression controlling some edema or through the simple desire for the socks to work, they feel some relief from the nerve pain they were experiencing and decide that this is a success. The socks work! They continue wearing the socks with occasional pain, but less than before. However, because they are focused on the lack of pain, they don't notice that it's accompanied by increasing numbness. The numbness significantly increases their risk of injury to their feet, which significantly increases their risk of amputation.

It probably sounds like catastrophizing to say "using magnets could lead to amputation" but honestly I don't think it's that far out of the realm of possibility (every time I post on this topic I get flooded with the saddest stories in the world about people whose loved ones died because of delayed treatment for cancer or heart disease).

The second category of harm is cost, which is honestly pretty minimal with magnet therapy, as long as you aren't spending $1049 on a magnetic mat

or paying a chiropractor to give you magnetic treatments. For some other medically harmless treatments like reiki, cost is the thing that I worry about - while I was looking up information related to the article I found that people are charging anywhere from $60 to $225 a session, and selling multi-session packages for thousands of dollars - and if someone thinks that something works, even if it only works by being in a soothing space where someone cares about you - they'll pay for it.

I'm aware that all of this is also extra complicated because of the cost and lack of access to allopathic medicine - a chiropractor broke my spine because I could pay her $60 per appointment but I couldn't pay $125 to see an MD when I didn't have insurance. People who are sick are going to look for treatment; people who have been denied treatment or dismissed by doctors are going to look for alternative treatments.

But man, I really wish I'd spent that sixty bucks on half of a doctor's appointment because the chiropractor didn't know about the benign tumor that I had that weakened the structure of that particular bone when she did her adjustment; it also didn't make the pain go away, it made a different pain start and get worse because it turns out I was having debilitating muscle spasms that then had a bone injury added in on top.

(Chiropractic, for the record, goes with chelation therapy and many many many many cases of herbalism where it's NOT just cost or delay; people claim these treatments are harmless and they are not. They can do tremendous harm).

But yeah I'm not going to deny at all that all of this would be a hell of a lot better if people (especially marginalized people) didn't have to jump through hoops to prove to a doctor that something is wrong with them, and didn't have to do so in an appointment that attempts to cram whole person care down into fifteen minutes, and didn't have the possibility of bankrupting you. Interacting with allopathic medicine is a nightmare and I totally understand why people want to look outside of it for treatment.

I've just heard too many horror stories and seen too much predatory CAM to cut much of it any slack.

At the end of the SBM response to the Atlantic article, the author (I can't remember if it's Gorski or Novella) makes the point that reiki is a spiritual practice, and that we've known for a long time that spiritual practices can improve a person's well-being in a number of ways; they can reduce anxiety, they can provide community, they can give people a space to feel and express emotions that they certainly aren't going to be able to process in a doctor's office. Spiritual practices can be wonderful, and we know there are a lot of people who they can help. But they aren't medicine, and attempting to replace medicine with them (which I don't think that most reiki practitioners are trying to do, to be fair, but which Ted Kaptchuk DEFINITELY is in trying to 'harness the power of placebo') is a disservice to people who need an inhaler instead of acupuncture.

Also, and I know this was not your point but I have to bring it up because people ask about it whenever discussions of placebo come up:

The placebo effect is not treatment. The placebo effect, whether achieved through deception or when someone says loud and clear "this is a sugar pill" does not improve an illness, but it may improve how a patient *feels* about an illness. In some cases, this may as well be the same thing - if you're dealing with muscle pain because you're stressed and no matter what you do it doesn't go away because your shoulders are always up around your ears and you're grinding your teeth and you're sleeping poorly, then literally just talking to someone who is in an office and says "this is a sugar pill, go ahead and take it" may make your muscle pain feel better, but it isn't going to reduce your stress and it isn't going to last, and if your muscle pain is because you're feeling angina as a result of a partially blocked artery then it SURE AS FUCK is not going to make you better and may mask symptoms that were a warning sign of a much more serious problem. People who are sick deserve actual treatment, and placebo is not treatment, which is part of why Ted Kaptchuk makes me want to tear my hair out.

[starkeyisthelastname]

OHHH ANOTHER THOUGHT!!!!!!!

idk how the porn community works HALSJKS but if its a thing to like ….. ship them ig??? … how would rafe react to r’s video with another dude being posted on twitter (maybe the first vid she’s made since her vid with rafe) and everyone’s in the comments being like “omg yas this is so hot!!!” “omg this is so much better than her and rafe!!” BALJEKS IDK

the first time someone’s talked negatively about him and it’s actually effected him 😅 he doesn’t like this ego being bruised

It was rare that Rafe checked social media, he just didn’t care about what people thought. He was pornstar and was used to being judged for his career choice and especially for the brutal way he fucked his costars. It was the Twitter notification he got though, with his name and your name tagged along with someone else’s who he didn’t know that caught his attention.

He opened the video, his blue eyes darkening as soon as he saw what it was. It was some nobody with a dick half the size of his, trying to make you cum. He could tell by the moans you were giving that it was all an act, and it ignited something in him he didn’t like. Watching another man fuck you, even if it was your job wasn’t something he particularly was a fan of. He had always loved pussy and money, and never once thought of ever quitting his rather successful porn career for anyone, until you started occupying his mind all day every day. He just couldn’t bring himself to end it yet, his addiction to sex and money way too deep.

As he went to exit out the app, a comment caught his eye. “Wow. She’s a pro at taking dick.” He scoffed as he read it out loud. What dick were you takin? That clown was the size of a pinky compared to him. It was the next one down that had his head raging in a way he had never experienced. ‘Her and @therafecameron video was weak compared to this. 🤣’ He seethed, these stupid idiots comments getting to him and bruising his extremely high ego. His knee bounced rapidly, thumb at the edge of his mouth as his mind raced wildly.

It was the phone, turned into landscape mode as Rafe’s long arm aimed it down to let it capture you taking dick. His free hand was wrapped in your hair, yanking your head back as he drilled into you at a brutal speed. The makeup you had on was smeared, tears streaming down your sparkly cheeks as he had some point to prove. He didn’t exactly say what, but it was a chance to get fucked by the man you were becoming obsessed with.

“Who’s fucking dick are you takin?” Rafe asked, his voice dripping venom as he yanked your head to make you look at him. His blue eyes, peered down at you in a predatory manner as he forced you to give him an answer.

The answer you gave was incoherent, your words coming out in babbles as an insane amount of pleasure was taking over your body. Your eyes rolled back, his huge dick tearing you apart as he wrapped his fist around your hair even harder. The phone that was recording the raw homemade scene was now shoved in your face, his hand on your head forcing you to look at the lens.

You were still so pretty, completely cock drunk off his monstrous ways as you were being his good personal whore. He leaned down, mustache brushing over your ear as he looked at the camera. It was quite a sexy sight to see his wild hair and striking blue iris’s making eye contact with the phone. “Tell them who’s dick your fuckin takin.” He spoke lowly, eyes watching your face through the screen. “Don’t make me repeat myself, I swear you’ll fucking regret it.” He gritted out, toned hips slapping against yours.

You cried out, his hand removing itself from your head to force your chin to look at the camera. You had no choice but to let out a loud whine, screaming the man’s name that you just wanted as yours. “Rafe Cameron! I’m t-takin Rafe Cameron’s dick!” Your voice cracking as you clamped down onto his cock.

As soon as heard that, a smirk came to his face and his nuts tightened. He tilted your chin towards him, sloppily kissing you with his tongue as the camera caught something Rafe never did with anyone. If the kissing wasn’t enough to make people a little shocked, it was that he posted it to his Twitter account, caption reading ‘The only dick that can get her screaming 😱 remember the fucking name bitches.’

[foldingfittedsheets]

The highlight of my college was big teams of cross discipline students coming together to make a game. Most teams worked on theirs from junior to senior year, but the teams could change between years. Game weren’t guaranteed to roll over into the next year without certain parameters.

Senior year was considered polish so largely that was artists but we still needed tech to implement changes and refine mechanics, sound engineers to keep adding music and effects, etc.

Our team didn’t get greenlit until we got more designers to sign on; we were sweating slightly that we’d be able to continue or if we’d need to get hired by other teams. A bunch of junior teams tanked in my year, so senior year was a few huge teams that consolidated.

But one of the categories to move from junior to senior year took me by surprise and made me laugh. In fact it took hearing it from another team to know it was even a metric we were getting judged on. My friend was saying, “Yeah- he found too many dicks in ours.”

“What? Did you have dicks in your game?”

“No!” he insisted. But what they had was rocks. Really suggestive rocks. Apparently several of their landscape features looked decidedly phallic to the professor who announced they’d need to scrap the dick rocks to proceed.

It turns out that every year the game students tried to sneak in stuff they weren’t supposed to, because of course our games represented our school, but people are people and they love to try to push the envelope. The most popular sin was dicks, so the professors got incredibly dialed in to cock.

Everything starts to look suggestive when you’re on the hunt for dongs. Certain shadows, rocks, even negative space could be tagged as looking too much like genitals. A lot of teams got notes about it. Ours, thankfully, passed muster.

My friend on the other team was aggrieved to get the note. But I do have to admit their rocks looked very penis-y when I saw them.

[janesgms]

Asteroid Industria

✨️ Industria (389) Persona Chart Edition ✨️

Having a 5th house stellium can indicate that you will work in the creative field or with children in general, it can also indicate that your own children will interfere in your career like bringing your children with you to your job (and this can cause problems to you depending on the planets we're talking about).

career examples: being a teacher, a pediatrician, a performer, an artist

Sun conjunct mercury indicates your job has a lot to do with communicating yourself/speaking in general, your job is a lot about languages or just communicating in general.

career examples: being a teacher (again), a singer, a mailman, etc. it reminds me of hermes in greek mythology

Having a 2nd house stellium is a huge indicator of having a job that brings you financial comfort and gains in general, you're probably the "official" supporter of the house financially.

Virgo stellium in this chart shows someone bery hardworker, to the point where it's even obsessive depending on the planets and aspects, people can even take advantage of you because you have no problem with doing the "dirty work".

7th house moon is an indicator you have a soft heart in your job space and a lot of peoole with bad intentions take advantage of your kindness, you need to set your boundaries, seriously.

3rd house venus = gossips about your love life in your job space?? 👀 just a guess

Neptune square moon can indicate that you're very uncertain or lost when it comes to choosing what your heart wants for a profession, you feel like there isn't a dream job for you and you'll just get on with life lol. I think this also applies specially if you have pisces personal placements or a stellium in this chart.

On the other side, and kind of surprisingly, moon conjunct neptune can indicate that you've always dreamt about a certain job and it fits you like a glove.

Mars in the 8th house can mean you like to work alone, secretly, you don't like to be ordered around much and you hate when people invade your privacy in your work space.

Having a libra venus in this chart can indicate your beauty and charm have a huge impact on your job.

celebrity example: Taehyung from BTS

Having a libra midheaven can mean your aesthetic has a huge impact on others, you can influenciate a lot of people from your profession.

celebrity example: Lana Del Rey

I think Taurus stellium is a huge indicator of talent and a gorgeous aura in general that makes people pulled in by you in your job space. You'll probably work in the comestics/fashion area (sometimes people forget that venus also rules taurus but let's give them some credits too here lmao)

Mercury in the 5th house: you communicate yourself so pretty, so beautifully in your job, your words and/or voice let people in awe, this has a siren effect but not necessarily a singing voice. Your words can be hypnotizing and your diction too

7th house venus or stellium can indicate your romantic life impacts on your job immensely, even negatively if you're not careful. Also, it can mean you'll find your significant others in your profession field.

Pluto sextile sun means you impose yourself beautifully in your profession, you have an impact on others in a gracious but unforgettable way.

1st house moon can mean you pour your heart out when you're really trying hard to leave an impression through your job. This can also means you care a lot about how others perceive your appearance and this affects you really personally

5th house venus is so pretty, I wish I had it in my chart lol, this person really knows how to use her creativity to make her job properly, she has a natural talent for what she does.

Having a combo of positive aspects between the moon/venus/asc in this chart can indicate your femininity is very in tune in your profession field, you can come off as really beautiful and "in form"/put together when you're working, you just know how to have the ideal vibes, you know? This is very beautiful.

1° Sun means you can show your ego pretty easily when you're in your job space, unless neptune is aspecting it or it's in pisces, then you can hide it pretty well, but you still can be very certain about your abilities and even your appearance, this can indicate a natural leader.

A Leo or Aquarius MC is the true trendsetter of their professional field, they have the best ideas and they're always ahead of others, they can be really inovative. Leo can do it in a more traditional way that still works and leave an impact, in a big and colorful way, aquarius make it in a standing way that leaves people shocked with their ideas, they do that crazy thought that others are scared. The Leo MC knows that they're the royalty and the Aquarius MC knows that they're the mastermind. This duo can work greatly together, their ideas mix pretty well.

1st house Mars in aries are such fast workers!! they do their job pretty fast

I've talked about virgo stellium, but Capricorn stellium are the TRUE workaholics and they do the hard job without an ounce of laziness, they're down for anything as long as it makes them satisfied with fulfilling a useful meaning to them and with ✨️money✨️ of course lol

Speaking of capricorn, having a Capricorn MC means you have fame of doing your job impeccably, you're not joking in your area lol.

If aries/1st house placements are fast workers, taurus/2nd house placements are the opposite. They appreciate the details very much and they hate doing a job for the "half", they can be slow workers but their talent makes it worth it.

8th house pluto and/or mars can indicate you're pretty envied in your job space 🤫 be careful with gossips, lies and secrets...

Scorpio moons do not put their souls in their jobs, their jobs ARE their souls, they pour everything in their profession. They turn their traumas in art

[fantastic-nonsense]

As a Wonder Woman fan, what's your exact opinion of Yara Flor? I see she's been received quite negatively in some parts of the internet (namely South American portions).

This ask is making me once again think about how every single piece of Yara Flor concept art is god-tier and the concept of introducing "an Amazon from the Amazon" was absolutely galaxy-brained and then DC just RUINED it by making her an adult from Idaho and doing absolutely nothing with her supposedly indigenous Brazilian mythological roots.

I'm actually super angry about how Yara was handled. Yara was the first new major Wonderfam character in 20+ years, had a ton of hype and reader buy-in, and had a fantastic initial concept; she was a desperately needed new legacy character and DC just fumbled it in every way possible. Yara could have been a vital addition to the lore, especially since the core Wonderfam is so heavily white and we've needed a new Wonder Girl for ages. But instead of creating that added dimension, we got......that.

I just...there was SO MUCH MOMENTUM AND EXCITEMENT for her, and then she absolutely bombed because no one at DC sat down and planned out who she was or what her story was going to be, then gave her introduction solo to a woman whose lack of research and care is offensively tacky at best and outright racist at worst. Joelle Jones' awful writing for Yara's initial solo combined with the bait-and-switch of introducing her not as an indigenous teenage girl from Brazil (as advertised) but as an adult woman from Idaho completely torpedoed Yara's hype and sustainability as a character.

Jones failed to define who Yara is, what she cares about, and why she matters to the rest of the Wonderfam despite having 12 issues and an event comic to do so. She also didn't do the research and DC refused to put someone on the book who would or had lived experience, and it shows. Yara's backstory was bungled horrendously, her lore is offensive, convoluted, and contradictory to the already established Amazonian lore, and she has no real, lasting connection to either the Themyscirans or the tribe she supposedly hails from. All of which were huge mistakes.

The Esquecidas (the Amazonian splinter tribe Yara is theoretically from) have successfully been integrated into the larger Amazonian mythos (thankfully), but Yara herself is just kinda there because she's effectively a dead character. There's nowhere for her to go since her introduction was fumbled so badly. I'm sure there's a lot of scrapped plans sitting around at DC while someone tries to figure out how to make her into a workable character, but at the moment she's basically unsalvagable as-is and needs a bottom-up revamp.

tl;dr most people, including me, like the concept of Yara. We like the execution a lot less, for a variety of reasons (mostly racism and cultural ignorance issues, but also narrative incoherence and a lot of missed opportunities). She's technically fixable, but she's fundamentally not sustainable as she's been built thus far.

anyway, forever thinking about the sheer wasted potential of not introducing Mainverse!Yara as a young teenager so she could actually reasonably be titled "Wonder Girl," be in Jon and Damian's age group to give her a natural group of friends, and have a natural narrative path forward for her stories

[erulasse23]

Frodo & PTSD: Definition of Trauma

As a quick introduction, I recently finished a Lord of the Rings trilogy re-read and as an adult with a psychology background, I am endlessly fascinated with Tolkien’s portrayal of trauma and its affects through Frodo in particular. This is going to be multiple parts, but I want to start with a definition of trauma and what Frodo might have found traumatic about his journey.

A simple google search suggests the following definition of trauma: “A deeply distressing or overwhelming experience that can have lasting negative effects on a person’s mental, emotional, and physical well-being.” Some deeper research highlights certain elements of the causes and effects of trauma.

- Trauma is defined by the way our brains process an experience as highly threatening or dangerous, such that it overwhelms our ability to cope. In this sense, trauma is highly subjective.

- Trauma can be one event, or repeated exposure to stressors.

- Trauma literally re-wires our brain. A prolonged or severe stress response (fight or flight) has significant physical impact on our bodies including our nervous system, hormones, cardiovascular system, etc. PTSD occurs when these systems do not go back to normal after the threat is gone, and we lose the ability to successfully regulate our attention and emotions.

What is unique about Frodo, compared to the rest of the Fellowship, is that he carried the Ring and experienced both its pressures and the presence of the Eye for an extended time. The Eye, referring to Sauron’s metaphysical presence and attention, is described in terms of a threat. Carrying the Ring feels like there is a monster around the corner at every turn, waiting in suspense for a jump scare, constantly being chased and barely staying out of reach. In short, it’s a prolonged, acute stress response happening inside Frodo’s brain for months, exhausting his physical and emotional resources.

Other research about trauma indicates that experiences which significantly alter our self-perception (ideas about who and how we are) are significantly more difficult to process and move past. Frodo giving in to the Ring and claiming it in the end certainly had a huge impact on his self-image. You can see this in how he treats Saruman and the ruffians in ‘The Scouring of the Shire’. Compared to the other hobbits, even kind Sam, Frodo is much more forgiving and empathetic. I believe that is because he identifies with these “bad guys” now. His experience changed him in a way that not even Sam’s did, who was with him to the end.

The other event which causes a PTSD-like response in Frodo (which I’ll get into in another post) is being stabbed by a Nazgûl on Weathertop. Why does this affect him just as much as the Ring and Sauron’s destruction? There are two reasons. One, the Nazgûl have a certain power over despair. We see this later in the Black Breath and particularly Merry and Eowyn’s wounds (which they recover from, perhaps unlike Frodo, but that’s another post too). Two, as soon as Frodo is revived, before he even is tended to by Elrond, he “bitterly regretted his foolishness, and reproached himself for weakness of will” in putting on the Ring. His self-image again plays a large part in his difficulty healing even after Elrond removes the splinter that was left in his shoulder.

In ‘Homeward Bound’ Frodo says to Gandalf, “The wound aches, and the memory of darkness is heavy on me… Though I may come to the Shire, it will not seem the same; for I shall not be the same. I am wounded with knife, sting, and tooth, and a long burden.”

[mitternacht]

I’m back again with some ranting/thoughts about Fuuta, his character, and current mental state based on the T3 teaser because I could write essays upon essays analyzing this guy and I’m also tired of some of the takes I’ve been seeing about him on the bird app that solely blame Amane for his current state. (TW for brief sui. mention, talks of mental illness/delusions)

Starting off strong and controversial maybe but I can’t state enough how much I hate the “Fuuta killed Shidou” theory because it would be a complete assassination of Fuuta’s character. The entire point of his murder was that it was indirect and he has stated multiple times that he can’t stand physical violence. It makes no sense that he would up and kill someone now, even with how departed from reality he’s become. Now, him indirectly helping cause Shidou’s death is a gray area. I genuinely don’t think Fuuta would consciously assist with this, but he’s so far gone at this point I can’t say there’s zero chance he would. But as far as Fuuta carrying out the act, absolutely not.

Now the biggest point I want to make and talk about, is that Fuuta has been exhibiting signs of psychosis since his T2 interrogation. It’s already clear from the T3 teaser that it’s gotten progressively worse and he’s now completely dependent on and enthralled to religious delusion, which is a common symptom of psychosis. None of this was Amane’s fault, mind you. She’s always been very open about her faith and Fuuta developed this religion-based delusion all on his own, he was already at his breaking point so it’s not really a surprise that he’s reached this point. It’s driving me insane that anyone is blaming Amane for these changes in Fuuta’s personality, and not understanding how severe an effect Milgram itself has had on Fuuta who was already not a very mentally strong individual.

And even then on top of his poor mental state, the huge amounts of physical pain he’s likely still been dealing with are probably not doing him any favors. You do not have consistently coherent thoughts with that much chronic pain and no relief for it.

Now the presence of hundreds of eyes in Backdraft, Fuuta stating in his T2 interrogation that he can’t sleep (sleep deprivation being another cause of psychosis) because he feels like he’s being watched (perhaps causing hyper-vigilance) and hearing voices (which seems to affect him more strongly than any other character who’s mentioned the voices), the physical trauma he endured, the mention of “succumbing” (aka killing himself) in Backdraft, his sudden mood swings/random aggression and disordered speech in his T2 interrogation, like it’s. All telltale signs of psychosis and religious delusion was almost always going to be the next step unless he succumbed to despair and died. Again, at no fault of Amane’s. Fuuta needed something to cling to, and he found it.

T3 Fuuta is going to be extremely detached from reality and is likely going to have delusions of grandeur or a superiority complex as well, since those commonly come along with religious delusion. I’m almost resigning myself for him get a Guilty verdict for T3 because it’s going to be a massive shift from the character we know and Es is probably going to have an extremely difficult time trying to communicate with and understand him as he is, which might be frustrating to people. All of this combined with his strong sense of justice is…. likely going to go badly for him in terms of winning us over to vote him Innocent. I’m expecting a similar reaction as T1 Muu to T2 Muu honestly, I feel like it’s going to be a similar kind of shift in character.

Not to mention. How do we think he’s going to react to Mahiru’s death by the way. Not great I’m sure.

Anyways. At the end of the day I’ve loved breaking down Fuuta’s character since T1, he is so much fun to dissect and he has consistently seemed to be the character most heavily and negatively affected by Milgram’s environment which is so fascinating to me. I’m really excited to see where they go from here with him.

I do also adore the 0308 sibling dynamic even though I desperately wish Amane had a mentally competent adult in her environment that she trusts because she desperately needs one. The toxic codependency they’ve probably formed is going to be hard to watch as well.

[hwnglx]

he had so much to say, and has such self-degrading tendencies that even his green flags came out tainted in this negative light.. so the lines were a little blurred ㅜ

wonbin's real personality behind the scenes

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

+ so, very early into the reading, i got this vibe of a “protected child” who's been thrown out into the real world, and is trying his best to find his way and place. wonbin has quite pure energy, he's someone who's kinda obsessed about constantly doing what people expect of him, or want him to do. he's so incredibly focused on always meeting people's expectations, that he's still not entirely sure of who he is beyond that; his “true” self persé. his personality is basically the result of what others want him to be, need him to be or see him as. (his energy somewhat reminds me of a more emotional young jk) he sees his own self in the eyes of others, meaning people's opinions have a huge effect on his self-image, which can become a little unhealthy for someone in the public eye, who's out there left vulnerable to be criticized by the audience left and right. he has so so much pisces and libra energy in him, it's crazy. if you asked wonbin “what are your strengths?” it's likely he'd ask what you think his strengths are, and nod his head saying “yeah, that's probably right.”

interesting thing is, he has an abundance of drive and determination. a lot of achievements he's aiming for, so much ambition. but he's very worried about coming off too strong to people. his own “selfish” desires, which basically everyone has, can weigh on him because of this. he doesn't wanna overwhelm anyone, or have anyone think he's too greedy.

wonbin is honestly, one of the few energies i've read for now, who seems to genuinely care for the people around him, which is why he has the tendency to adjust his behavior according to other people's needs. i remember in the reading i did about riize's feelings towards seunghan, wonbin was one of the members who felt sincerely sad about the situation, and it made him look back on himself a lot. this seems to be a pretty good depiction of the type of person he is. i could see the members in this reading here as well, i just think he bases so much of himself on what he can do for the people that depend on him. he wants to be this figure of generosity and kindness, but he's still so.. scared of doing too much, people being bothered by him. i'm in his energy, and he's just nervous.

i'm also getting a lot of voices telling him how he should behave, how he has to be this star and main character in the group, how he has to be the stan attractor, and wonbin just suffers under that pressure, because it doesn't exactly suit his personality. he's very charming and attracts people easily, but he isn't boisterous, or someone who loves being the center of attention all the time. he wants to be comfortable giving others the spotlight sometimes. however, he doesn't wanna disappoint anyone, and truly thrives off of public validation, so.. it's just difficult for him to navigate it, i can feel him being caught up in a dilemma here.

he just seems like this young and clueless guy not even sure of who he is yet, being thrown out into an industry that basically forces a certain image on him, so now he's just running with that. he's like “oh, you want me to be the attractive and flirty guy? okay, i'll act like him then. oh, you want me to be the mysterious and quiet guy? okay, i'll become him then.” that's the energy he seems to be in right now. but, i can truthfully see this changing as he matures. his energy is very young still.

- he's just walking emotion. soooo so emotional. he can give off the impression of being emotionless, but there's an actual turmoil in his head. he takes things personally a lot, even constructive criticism can hurt his heart, which can make him insecure. he deals with a lot of insecurities behind the scenes, many thoughts and concerns about not being enough for people, not meeting expectations. he's an overthinker who's stuck in his head a lot, and can, as a result, make things worse for himself. create problems out of trivial things and dramatize situations in his mind, when from an outsider's perspective, it isn't nearly as bad. very anxious energy.

he can blame himself for many things, especially not living up to the person he himself wishes he was. he has this exact idea of the man he'd like to be (emotionally mature and intelligent, stable and dependable, grown up) and he has problems accepting his journey for what it is. like he wants himself to be at level 100 already, when it's a process, and only natural for him to be at like.. 20, considering he's still so young.

this seems to be a common trait of libra placements, but wonbin also has a habit of pushing down his thoughts and emotions a lot, avoiding negative situations. he doesn't always enjoy expressing himself. he's worried of it coming off wrong and people misunderstanding him. he is the type of person who can sound way more forceful than he actually wants to, just because he keeps bottling everything up and keeps trying to approach every situation peacefully, up until his emotions just come bubbling out of him in this aggressive manner. he doesn't have any bad intentions, but can give a wrong impression to others in this way.

i can also sense a certain struggle with fame he could be experiencing at this moment. it feels like the rose-colored glasses are fading, and fame is starting to become less appealing and “glamorous” as before, the harsh realities of it are making him a little uneasy. he might've expected and imagined it to be different, and is beginning to realize the shallowness behind the concept of fame. it can feel fake and superficial to him, not as fulfilling as its made out to be.

[meazalykov]

redirection XIV

esmee brugts x reader

last chapter - next chapter

summary: she lets you in, and you embrace it

the apartment was quiet, save for the faint hum of the heater cutting through the stillness. you sat at the kitchen island, legs tucked onto the stool as you balanced the bowl of fruit in your lap. 

remnants of strawberries, kiwi slices, and blueberries were scattered at the bottom. you picked up a forkful of the last few pieces, chewing absentmindedly while your thoughts wandered.

esmee hadn’t come yet. 

you glanced at the clock above the oven—it was late enough that her absence had started to get at you. part of you wanted to call her, to check in and make sure she was okay, but the other part held back, unsure if that would help or make things worse. 

still, the silence of the apartment didn’t sit right with you. your phone was within reach, and you were just about to grab it when there was a knock at the door.

you froze for a moment before sliding off the stool and padding over to the door. when you opened it, esmee stood there, her hands stuffed in her brown coat pockets, her braided hair slightly messy from the wind outside. she gave you a small smile, hesitant but warm. 

“hey,” she said softly. 

you stepped aside, letting her in without a word. as she entered, you closed the door behind her, watching as she shrugged off her coat and kicked off her shoes. her movements were slow, almost tentative, like she wasn’t sure where she stood with you. 

you returned to the kitchen island, finishing off the last piece of kiwi from your bowl as esmee walked over. the tension hung in the air between you, unspoken but undeniable. 

and then, without warning, you felt her hands wrap gently around your waist. her touch was cautious, like she was asking for permission without saying it out loud. her head came to rest on your shoulder, and you could feel the warmth of her breath against your neck as she mumbled, 

“i’m sorry.” 

you froze, her touch grounding you in a way you hadn’t expected. for a moment, the weight of your frustration melted away, replaced by the warmth of her embrace. 

this was the effect she had on you—esmee could break through the noise in your mind with just a simple touch.

you let the moment stretch for a few seconds longer before speaking, your voice soft but steady. 

“what are you sorry for?”

esmee lifted her head, her hands slipping away from your waist as she stepped back. “for avoiding you after the game,” she admitted, her eyes meeting yours with a mix of guilt and vulnerability. 

“i was upset about the yellow card, and… i didn’t want to talk about it. i didn’t know how to.” 

you set the bowl down on the counter, turning to face her fully. “why didn’t you want to talk about it?” there was no anger in your tone, only curiosity. 

esmee sighed, running a hand through her hair as she leaned against the counter. “i don’t know. it’s just… i’ve always had a hard time expressing negative emotions. growing up, i was taught to keep it all in, to deal with it on my own.” 

you tilted your head slightly, your brows furrowing. 

“what do you mean?”

she took a deep breath, her eyes focusing on the countertop as if gathering her thoughts. 

“the yellow card—it just felt like i almost risked everything for the team. it was a stupid moment, but in my head, it felt huge. like, what if that shove had turned into something worse? what if it cost us the game?” 

“but it didn’t,” you said gently, stepping closer. 

“i know,” esmee replied, her voice small. 

“but that’s how it felt in the moment. and then… not having you on the pitch with me—it’s hard. i’m not used to it.” she glanced down at your ankle boot, her expression softening further. 

“it’s like everything is just… off.” 

you let her words sink in, the weight of them settling over you. esmee wasn’t the type to open up easily, and hearing her admit all of this felt significant. you reached out, placing a hand on her arm. 

“es, you didn’t risk the game. things happen, but don’t let this match get in the way of the next one. you’re allowed to feel upset, but you have me! you don’t have to deal with this alone.” 

she looked up at you then, her eyes searching yours. 

“i guess i just didn’t want you to see me like that. frustrated, mad at myself… it’s not a good look.” 

“it’s human,” you said simply. 

“you didn't have to hide that from me.” 

her lips curved into a faint smile, and she stepped closer again, her hands finding their way back to your waist. “i’ll try,” she said softly. 

“i’ll try to be better about that.”

you nodded, leaning into her touch. 

“good. because i’m not going anywhere. and i’m definitely not letting you deal with things like this by yourself.” 

for a moment, the two of you just stood there, the silence between you no longer tense but comforting.

“and for the record,” you added, your tone lighter, “you were amazing out there. yellow card or not.” 

esmee chuckled, her forehead resting against yours. 

“thanks. but it’s still weird not having you out there with me.”

you sighed, the reality of your injury settling back in. 

“yeah, it’s weird for me too. but four weeks isn’t forever.” 

she nodded, her hands squeezing your waist gently. “no, it’s not. and until you’re back, i guess i’ll just have to keep doing my best. even if i get into a little trouble now and then.” 

“just don’t make it a habit,” you teased, a small smile breaking through. 

esmee’s laugh was soft, but it was enough to ease the last of your worries. 

waking up in your bed the next morning, you felt the soft rise and fall of esmee’s breathing beside you. the early morning light seeped through the cracks in your curtains, painting golden lines across the room. 

you turned your head, catching sight of her peaceful face. her braids were slightly messy, the curly strands framing her cheeks in a way that made her look even softer. her lips were slightly parted, her breath steady as she slept. 

you couldn’t help but smile. she looked so content, so completely at ease. 

you reached for your phone on the bedside table, careful not to jostle her too much, and checked the time. 7:34 a.m. there was no recovery training for esmee until 10 a.m., which meant you had time to make her a proper breakfast. 

she had played hard last night, and even though she didn’t show it, you knew she must have been exhausted.

as quietly as you could, you slid out of bed, careful not to wake her. her hand, which had been resting lightly on your stomach, slipped onto the mattress, and for a moment, she stirred, mumbling something unintelligible before settling back into sleep. 

you smiled again, tucking the blanket around her before heading to the kitchen.

the kitchen was cool, the early morning air still lingering in the space. you tied your hair back and set to work, deciding to make her one of her favorite breakfasts. 

a breakfast sandwich on a protein bagel with avocado, egg, paprika, and bacon, paired with a small side of strawberries. it was simple but filling, exactly what she needed before heading to training.

you worked quietly, slicing the avocado and toasting the bagel first. the smell of bacon sizzling in the pan filled the air, and you moved quickly to crack eggs into another pan, letting them cook just right—crispy edges, soft yolk. 

as you sprinkled a pinch of paprika over the eggs, you couldn’t help but hum softly to yourself, enjoying the quiet rhythm of the morning.

the strawberries were the finishing touch, their vibrant red a pop of color against the plate. you carefully arranged everything, making sure it looked as good as it smelled. 

as the sandwich came together, you reached for the coffee machine, selecting vanilla for her iced coffee. esmee loved how creamy and sweet it tasted, and you smiled at the thought of her sipping it, her eyes lighting up as she took the first sip.

you poured the iced coffee into a tall glass, added just the right amount of ice, and placed it on the tray beside the plate. as a final touch, you filled another glass with water, placing it neatly next to the coffee. 

just as you finished, you heard soft footsteps padding down the foyer. you turned your head and saw esmee entering the kitchen, still clearly tired. her braids were a little looser now, framing her face in a way that made her look effortlessly beautiful. 

she was wearing your old oversized washington spirit shirt, the fabric hanging off her frame, and your old uswnt shorts from the 20/21 season. you couldn’t help but think she was the most beautiful girl in the world.

“good morning,” she murmured, her voice thick with sleep. her eyes were half-lidded, but the small smile she gave you was warm and full of love.

“good morning,” you replied, walking over to her and placing a gentle kiss on her lips. it was soft, unhurried, and full of the quiet affection that came so naturally with her. 

“i made you breakfast before you head out for training.”

her smile grew, and she looked at you with a mix of surprise and appreciation. 

“you didn’t have to do that,” she said, her voice soft. 

you shrugged, leading her to the kitchen island where her plate and drinks were waiting. 

“i wanted to. you played hard last night, and i know you’ll need the energy today.”

she sat down, taking in the plate in front of her. the sandwich was perfectly assembled, the avocado spilling slightly out of the sides, and the strawberries were fresh and vibrant. the iced coffee sat beside it, condensation forming on the glass. 

“this looks amazing,” she said, reaching for the coffee first. she took a sip, her eyes lighting up as you’d expected. “and it tastes amazing. thank you, baby.”

you smiled, leaning against the counter as you watched her take her first bite of the sandwich. 

“you like it?”

“i love it,” she said between bites, her eyes lifting to meet yours. 

“you’re spoiling me.”

“you deserve it,” you said simply, grabbing a glass of water for yourself. 

“and you know this is kind of my thing.”

she laughed softly, her shoulders relaxing as she continued eating. “yeah, i’ve noticed. and i love it. you always know how to make me feel taken care of.”

you took a sip of your water, watching her with quiet admiration. even in the sleepy haze of the morning, she was radiant. the way she moved, the way she smiled—it all felt effortless and perfect. 

“what are you thinking about?” she asked, her head tilting slightly as she noticed the way you were looking at her. 

you shrugged, a small smile tugging at your lips. 

“just thinking about how beautiful you are.”

she laughed, a soft blush creeping up her cheeks. “you’re biased.”

“maybe,” you teased, setting your glass down. “but it’s true.”

she shook her head, her smile never fading. 

“and you love it,” you shot back, grinning.

“i do,” she admitted, her voice softer now. “i really do.”

the two of you fell into a comfortable silence after that, the clinking of her fork against the plate the only sound in the room. 

next chapter

[probablyasocialecologist]

While maintaining that “for some, the best outcome will be transition,” it nevertheless effectively recommended that the N.H.S. abandon the guidelines embraced by major mainstream medical associations and restrict the use of medications that have been offered for decades to adolescents across the globe with vanishingly few negative side effects or regrets. The reason, the report says, is that these treatments are insufficiently supported by reliable, long-term evidence. Then, remarkably, the report recommends treatments — psychological treatment and medications for depression and anxiety — that have even less proof behind them in helping children (or adults) with gender dysphoria, though they may help with other mental health issues, and many children with dysphoria already get these treatments. And for all its insistence of evidence, the report is peppered with mere speculation about the potential causes of gender dysphoria: pornography and the phenomenon of social contagion are invoked, with zero credible evidence to support them. It is a strange document. Social conservatives welcomed the report. But it has also been heralded in some liberal quarters in Britain, where even the Labour Party has supported its conclusions, and around the world as a model of open-minded rationalism, of well-intentioned — progressive, even — unbiased scientific inquiry attempting to provide information in young people’s best interests. This, they declare, is what following the science and the evidence looks like. But is it? In an effort to evaluate the Cass report’s findings and recommendations, I spent the months since it was released poring over the document, researching the history of transgender medicine and interviewing experts in gender-affirming care as well as epidemiologists and research scientists about the role of scientific evidence in determining care standards. What I have come to realize is that this report, for all its claims of impartiality, is fundamentally a subjective, political document.

[...]

A great deal of the media coverage of gender-affirming care in the West has painted a picture of huge numbers of children, some of them suffering from profound mental illness, rushed into medical transition, practically force-fed puberty blockers and hormones, then fast-tracked to surgery once they turned 18, based on unproven treatment and perhaps bogus science. But the report itself not only fails to show any evidence of significant regret among patients or other forms of harm; its own data also contradicts the notion of rushed transition. Of the more than 3,300 medical records examined as part of the review, about a quarter of children and adolescents were referred to an endocrinologist, which suggests a significant screening process. Indeed, on average, patients had more than a half dozen consultations before being referred. If anything, the evidence suggests a lack of care bordering on neglect, which is not surprising considering that millions of people are on waiting lists for treatment of all kinds by Britain’s crumbling health system. One of the most common pieces of feedback was that young people lingered on waiting lists, sometimes for years. A number of participants in focus groups convened for the purpose of the report said they felt that they had to “prove” to clinicians that they were transgender.

[...]

At one point the report posits that because a child has never had the experience of growing up in their assigned sex, they would have no way to know whether they might regret transition. “They may have had a different outcome without medical intervention and would not have needed to take lifelong hormones,” the report says, referring to children assigned female at birth. It is hard to know what to make of a statement like that. A person gets only one life; waiting to see how it works out isn’t really an option. To a queer woman like me, this is an ominous echo of something many of us have heard many times in our lives: Maybe you just haven’t met the right man yet. The wish — whether expressed by a parent, a teacher, a therapist or a suitor — is a wish for a child not to be queer. It is hard to find a satisfying explanation for these kinds of conjectures and conclusions in the report other than this one: Many people find transgender people at best unsettling and possibly deluded or mentally ill, or at worst immoral and unnatural. They appear to believe it would be better not to be trans. As much as Cass’s report insists that all lives — trans lives, cis lives, nonbinary lives — have equal value, taken in full it seems to have a clear, paramount goal: making living life in the sex you are assigned at birth as attractive and likely as possible. Whether Cass wants to acknowledge it or not, that is a value judgment: It is better to learn to live with your assigned sex than try to change it. If this is what Cass personally believes is right, fair enough. It can charitably be called a cultural, political or religious belief. But it is not a medical or scientific judgment.

13 Aug 2024 | Link

[transmutationisms]

when you say “positive / negative right”, what do those mean?

thanks for the good posts :)

a negative right is a claim to protection from some sort of interference; a positive right is a claim that the other party has an obligation to act in some way beyond just refraining from causing harm. for example, the right to free speech is generally spoken about as a negative right: it guarantees me the freedom from state intervention into what i can say. a right to health, on the other hand, would be a positive claim that i should be guaranteed access to things like clean air and water, health care, sick leave, &c.

in practice this distinction is actually much messier than i'm making it sound, and most 'negative rights' are basically meaningless without positive interventions, except in the fantasyland of libertarian political discourse. for example, the united states prohibits one human being from enslaving another (a negative right to legal and bodily freedom) but simultaneously engages in, and permits, incarceration with & without forced and un(der)-compensated labour requirements. the state is not actually granting freedom, and slavery has only been outlawed on a very limited and technical basis. another example is the right to abortion, which, prior to the dobbs decision, was legal in the us on the basis of a 'right to privacy' as established in roe v wade—a freedom from specific interventions in one's medical decisions. however, for decades the actual right to abortion was eroded by the us's lack of universal health care and paid time off, and by laws that became progressively more restrictive in terms of when in a pregnancy abortions were allowed, what clinics had to do in order to be allowed to operate, and what requirements patients had to satisfy first (waiting periods, ultrasounds, &c). in practice this meant that fewer and fewer people could actually access abortion, despite having, technically, legal protection from government interference in its provision. even freedom of speech falls apart as a purely negative right, because, as i've said before, most enforcement of speech limitations actually happens via economic mechanisms like the threat of losing your job—meaning, the operative issue here is not usually whether the state can directly censor me but whether i risk starving to death if a corporation disliked what i said. in other words, what makes my speech vulnerable is the fact that i live in a society that does not guarantee me food, shelter, and basic necessities as positive rights.

negative rights appeal to liberals and other reactionaries because they're framed as maximising everybody's freedom: your actions are only constrained if they risk impinging on me. however, in actuality what this means is that a right defended on 'negative' grounds is basically incapable of redressing existing social and political inequities, and instead upholds or even exacerbates the power dynamics already in effect. i am actually not a huge fan of 'rights' as a legal framework period, and i think a well-defended 'positive right' is really moving beyond the construal of 'rights' and into a more materialist and socially contextualist framework, but that's a different post.

[cambriancrew]

Trauma is not just "anything negative you experience".

The psychological term for THAT is stress.

Trauma is OVERWHELMING negative experiences, that you can't handle with your level of support, that leave a lasting effect on you.

Watering it down to mean "anything unpleasant or stressful" is unhelpful in discussions of trauma.

My biomom and favorite uncle both dying horrifically one right after the other when I was 10 was trauma. I didn't have a good support system to help me handle that. I was pulled out of school counseling by my dad and stepmom after a couple months because they thought I was becoming too dependent on it. (Like wtf seriously.)

Divorcing my ex was stressful, but not traumatic. I had an outpouring of support from so many dear friends, even as I lost a huge group of friends that were mostly my ex's friends simultaneously. It was tough, it was very stressful indeed, but I was able to handle it.

Can divorce be traumatic? Of course it can. It isn't INHERENTLY traumatic though.

Please stop watering down the meaning of trauma. Lots of things can be traumatic. Doesn't mean that all stressful, unpleasant, even horrible, things are inherently so.

Lots of stressful things can also even actually be pleasant - the psychological term for that is eustress.

[achaotichuman]

ACOTAR Discussion

Okay, so recently my mutual @sonics-atelier posted this fic Perfect To Me (which is so fucking amazing, I cried, go read it rn) and in this fic, they write about Tamlin developing an eating disorder (specifically anorexia) since his body changed after starting to get Spring back on its feet. And it started me down a whole rant about fictional characters being the pinnacle of beauty standards, specifically in relation to what they're bodies look like. So, to save my mutuals the long spam texts about my thoughts, I'm gonna post em here.

General trigger warning- Discussion of a variety of eating disorders, body dysmorphia and Cassian.

SJM covers disordered eating within ACOTAR, it happens specifically to the female characters. And this is something, I have a huge problem with. That might seem like a massive asshole sentence, but let me explain my thought process.

These eating disorders are not well respresented, they do not further affect the plot, they only serve to be an outward appearance to the male saviour characters that something is wrong, and they never appear on the female characters in a way that makes them any less pretty, in fact, I would say, the resulting skinniness from said disordered eating, is the desired result. By that I mean, yes I think SJM writes her female characters starving themselves to make them fit the female beauty standard.

This is very evident with Nesta, who somehow miraculously only grows thinner in the waist and hips when she is starving herself. But still has massive breasts which Cassian makes a point of oogling, despite noticing how thin she is everywhere else. Instead of taking Nesta's not wanting to eat anything and turning it into a plot point for her character in which she learns to take care of and eventually love her new Fae body, SJM decides to further starve Nesta, but Cassian limiting her sugar intake, so she reminds the same 000 size in the waist.

Now, onto what really, truly makes me angry within SJM's series. Character's gaining weight, rather than losing it.

This happens once in the series. It is one singular comment, that put me off Cassian forever.

"You need to get out in the practice ring, brother. Don't want your mate to find any soft bits."

This comment was from Cassian to Rhysand in the third chapter of ACOSF, after looking Rhys up and down pretty much.

May seem like a harmless jab to a lot of people, but take into account all of the context around it.

Cassian had just been eyeing Nesta's body-clearly suffering from the effects of long-term starvation, like a hunk of meat.

They had just won a war not long ago-still coming down from the stress highs that would have no doubt been enough to put any normal person in bed for a month.

Rhysand had only recently found out about Feyre's pregnancy, if I remember correctly-would have also found out about the risks, and would be dealing the extreme stress that would be causing.

It would be incredibly normal for Rhysand to gain weight because of all these factors. Not to mention this being the first (and I'm fairly certain) only time, SJM's mentions a male character gaining weight, and it being in such a negative light, could only suggest she, and thus Cassian, find the idea unappealing or perhaps downright abhorrent.

Which really fucking pisses me off.

Most of her female characters have experienced a form of anorexia throughout the books as a trauma or stress response. And it never exists to go further than making them more conventionally attractive.

Now further on her male characters, not a single one of them ever has an ounce of fat on their body. Weight gain is entirely out of the question, even when it should be the obvious occurrence due to whatever change in their situation.

Now this also brings me to another problem I have, which also leeches into fandom behaviour.

We all love Tamlin's tits, ofc, ofc, but muscle behaves like fat if its not being actively flexed. Tamlin's pectoral muscles are no doubt incredibly strong, and would, probably be able to crack a nut (no pun intended) if flexed. But if they werent, they would be soft and squishy. No one talks about THAT THOUGH DO YOU???

Not to mention, that, Tamlin is a beast creature, wandering the forests, not training or exercising properly, and is only gouging on the carcasses of animals he kills. This could be an excellent time to lean into weight gain, and the intense feelings of guilt, and body dysmorphia that it brings.

Lets also discuss Gwyn, a traumatised young woman who fled to the Library in order to live a life of peace. She has never trained a day in her life before becoming a Valkyrie, why is she so skinny?

It's never mentioned Gwyn having any kind of reaction to her trauma that affects her eating (as far as I remember) and I think it would be far more interesting to delve into the effects grief and the lose of a dear loved one has on the body and ones eating habits.

Lets talk about Elain, who is said to use baking a coping mechanism, why is she skinny? This is the perfect opportunity to delve into a character binge eating, then extreme guilt from the times where they were in poverty, and purging. But finding comfort in food because food = wealth, wealth =safety.

And in the end, a character can be fat and be happy. Why do we have so many characters that are so thin at the end of their books?

So many of these characters also have near no stability, their diet would not doubt be changing constantly from the inconsistency in their living situations. Which should to lead to drastic changes in their body. This could be a very interesting way to explore body dysphoria. Hating seeing yourself in the mirror even if you just survived battle, because you can hardly recognise yourself. Changing so much in the mind and not even having the comfort of your body being the same. Especially with Nesta and Elain being Made against their will. I honestly believe Nesta's starvation should have been her hating her new Fae body so much that she just wants to destroy it. Her healing, should have been learning to love herself, no matter what body she is in.

In the end, your body is you, but you are more than your body. Bodies are such incredibly fascinating tool, and people don't always have to like what it looks like to care for it. Bodies can be smaller, bigger, stronger, they take your brain wherever it wants to go. But they are not all of you. And that should have been what especially Nesta's journey could have been.

Anyway, this is incredibly sensitive topic for a lot of people, so I do really want to open this up to everyone. What are your thoughts on this topic? Do you think SJM's portrayal of eating disorders is justified, or do you think I'm wrong on any of these points? Let me know in either the comments or the reblogs, I would be happy to discuss it.