#and that Andrew never fucking brought him up or was like wow I just killed my best friend who was in love with me and I totally knew he was

[somewherefornow]

I know it came out a while ago but there’s something so funny about how I, Vampire (2011) has one of its lead characters come out as gay right before (evil version!! of) the man he’s in love with rips out his heart and tells him that at least he can die happy because he gave him a pity-kiss right before killing him like ??? Lmao

[willowbird]

Hello! Can I request andreil Christmas morning with the foxes? Or just them?

Yes, yes you can <33

(Technically I have one more prompt before this one, but consider this my contribution to your asks for happy things~)

-----

Sleepy, cozy mornings were a new thing for Neil. Not that he’d never been tired in the morning, or had never been warm and comfortable. There was a difference. Sleepy, for one, implied a certain level of inherent safety and lack of urgency that even throughout his entire first year with the Foxes he had never had the luxury of. Similarly, cozy was a foreign notion to him that carried a downy reassurance of safety he’d never been privileged enough to even consider. 

Right now, though? Right now he was basking in what was decidedly a sleepy, cozy morning. 

Light was filtering through the slatted blinds of Andrew’s bedroom in the house in Columbia like ghost-breath, pale and ephemeral in the early morning. Neil’s eyes were open, but only just, and his mind was so peacefully blank that he spent what could have been ten minutes and could have been a full hour just watching the light steadily warm and brighten, igniting the floating specks of dust like tiny fireworks in a celebration of such unfathomable ease. Behind him were the low, steady cadences of Andrew’s breathing against his shoulder and his heartbeat against his spine -- a duet that Neil idly thought he’d be happy to play on repeat for the rest of his life.

So yeah, he was cozy. He was sleepy. He was... happy. And he was content to bask in that for as long as he could. Stray thoughts filtered through the haze of his only half-awake mind, none of them sticking, none of them elevating his own heart rate above its slow, relaxed beat. It was more that he just... noticed things, then let them go. He noticed the shifting of the light, he noticed the creaking of the house, he noticed that warm, pleased feeling that pulsed in his chest and spread all the way down to each finger and each toe when Andrew sighed and nuzzled his face against his shoulder, the arm around his waist tightening slightly. 

He allowed himself to wake slowly, and when he did feel alert and fully conscious, he remained in place to bask just a little bit longer anyway. 

“Hn..”

Behind him, Andrew made a small, sleepy noise of his own and tightened his arm around him again, fully hiding his face against the back of Neil’s neck. Since Andrew couldn’t see him anyway, Neil didn’t bother hiding the smile the action conjured. 

“Morning,” he offered in greeting, knowing the difference between Andrew’s unconscious movements and signs that he was actually awake but resisting it.

“Too early.” Andrew’s response was muffled, grumbled as it was against Neil’s skin, but decipherable. 

Neil shifted slightly, and Andrew instantly loosened his hold so that Neil could roll onto his side to face him. As much as he enjoyed being held by Andrew sometimes, it was still his favorite to lay facing him. He liked to be able to look at him, to watch his face and see the way light brought out new hues in his hazel eyes. They were almost green this morning, but flecked with brown that flashed gold when he narrowed his eyes into a glare. 

“What?” Andrew accused. 

Neil debated telling Andrew that he was beautiful, that getting to see his face first thing in the morning was his favorite thing about waking up in Columbia, that if it was the last thing he saw he’d count it worth it every single time. 

Instead he shrugged and said, “Nothing.”

Andrew’s glare narrowed and by the accusatory glance at Neil’s mouth, Neil supposed he must be smiling or making some other offensive expression that he knew Andrew must either like more or even less than he said, considering how often he would kiss it away.

Not this morning, though, which was preferable. Neil loved kissing Andrew. He did not like the particular vintage of ass that occurred first thing in the morning before either of them had a chance to brush their teeth. 

By the annoyed sigh Andrew made, Neil supposed he had come to the same conclusion. He didn’t resist when Andrew put his whole hand on Neil’s face to push it into the pillow, only humming in an amused way that he knew would annoy the other man. Andrew was already rolling out of bed when Neil heard the scoff that told him he’d succeeded on that point. 

Pleased with himself, Neil took an extra few moments to stretch, burying his face into Andrew’s pillow and inhaling deeply, allowing himself to go a little light-headed on the rush he got when his senses were flooded with Andrew’s scent. Andrew was gone by the time he’d fully roused himself and was back by the time Neil had changed out of his pajamas and into some lounge pants and a fresh t-shirt. They didn’t have any real plans for the day that he knew of and he was planning to hold onto this cozy feeling for as long as possible even if the sleepy bit had faded. 

Andrew was waiting for him in the hallway when Neil got out of the bathroom, holding a red bundle of knitted fabric in his hands. When Neil only raised an eyebrow, Andrew shoved it at his chest and said, “Nicky’s stupid tradition.”

Neil might have asked, except that he could now see that Andrew had pulled on a sweater over the shirt he’d been wearing when Neil had entered the bathroom. It was dark green with a gold and white tree on it, loopy knitted lettering proclaiming ‘Happy Holidays!’ with aggressive cheer. Now he knew he was grinning, and he didn’t even press a hand to his mouth to hide and cover it, because it felt nothing like his father’s smile. This was something entirely different, born of shock and awe and humor and affection in a combination Neil didn’t think he’d ever actually experienced before. 

“Put yours on before you come down,” Andrew ordered with a flat expression Neil didn’t believe for an instant. “I do not want to listen to Nicky’s whining.”

Then he turned and marched down the stairs, where Neil realized he could hear the sounds of quietly chipper holiday music and the rustle of bodies moving around. 

Neil looked down at the bundle in his hands and shook it out to see the design. He wasn’t sure whether to laugh or groan at the image, which was probably the ugliest-looking rendition of a reindeer he’d ever seen in his life. Neil would never say that he had an eye for fashion or art, but this was just... sad. The shade of the nose was just slightly darker than the background of the sweater and he was pretty sure the animal was cross-eyed. 

Ah well, it wasn’t like he’d have to look at it if he was wearing it. With a shake of his head, he tugged it on and turned to head downstairs. At least it was warm. It was also big on him and knitted with something soft, so if Neil were to call it anything, he might say it was... cozy.

“Neil!” Nicky cheered from the stove when Neil entered the kitchen. He was wearing a bright green sweater with an elf on it. Or at least, he thought it was an elf. To his knowledge, elves didn’t wear purple eyeshadow, but hey -- he wasn’t here to judge. “You wore it! I knew it was the perfect sweater for you.”

Neil raised an eyebrow and tugged on the sweater, looking down at it. “Huh. It’s that Christmas deer, right? Randolph?” he asked, full well knowing the correct name. He’d lived on the run for half his life, not under a rock. 

Nicky made a pained, whimpering sound. “Dead. I’m dead. You’ve killed me. Neil, don’t... don’t tell me you’ve never heard of... of Rudolph..?”

Neil looked up at him and affixed something between innocence and confusion on his face. “Isn’t that the guy who makes that snowman. Uh. Freezy or something?”

“Frosty! No, he--”

“Nicky, he’s fucking with you.” This from Aaron, who had no right to ruin his fun when he was sitting there with (a distinctly cross-eyed) Santa Claus on his own sweater. Why did all of these characters have a vision impairment?

Nicky looked from Aaron to Neil, who just shrugged and moved to make himself a cup of coffee. 

“Aww Neil, you asshole,” Nicky whined, but the effect was somewhat ruined by the grin on his face as he turned back to the stove, where he was just finishing up the bacon. It appeared to be the last thing on the menu, because the table was already laden with every single breakfast food Neil could fathom. Three different kinds of eggs, toast, waffles, sausages, biscuits -- it was a regular feast and Neil’s stomach rumbled at the sight. 

“Wow Nicky, what’s with the spread. Did I forget someone’s birthday or something?” Neil asked as he took his usual spot next to Andrew, who’d been watching the whole previous exchange over the rim of his own coffee cup. 

Nicky turned around with the plate of bacon in hand, his expression stricken. “Neil you.. you do know what today is... don’t you?”

Aaron sighed and opened his mouth, then snapped it shut again and glared at Andrew, who must have kicked him. Neil bit back a smirk and frowned instead. “Uh... December twenty-fifth? Probably?” He looked toward the fridge, where Nicky’s calendar hung. The twenty-fifth was circled in green and red marker with two smiley-faces and at least six exclamation points. 

“Shit, it’s your birthday isn’t it? Sorry Nicky, I forgot. I’ll make it up to--”

“It’s CHRISTMAS, Neil! Christmas!!” He set the plate down, like he needed to get it out of his hands before he dropped it. Or maybe so he could fee his hands to gesture emphatically at the sweaters they were all wearing. And the paper snowflakes in the window. And the Christmas lights strung around the cabinets. And the little snowman figurines arranged in various places around the kitchen (even the salt and pepper shakers were a Mr. and Mrs. Snowman now).

Neil followed each gesture obediently, then met Nicky’s eyes. “Oh. Is it?”

The sound that came out of Nicky was something between a scream and a sob. Neil reached across the table and pilfered a piece of bacon, munching on it as the twins also started to fill their plates and Nicky pulled himself back together again. 

This time, it was Andrew that took pity on his cousin. 

“Neil knows what and when Christmas is, Nicky.”

Nicky looked from Andrew to Neil, then to Aaron (who rolled his eyes and took two extra links of sausage), before finally settling his gaze back on Neil. 

Neil blinked at him, then smiled -- because.. well, he couldn’t think of a reason not to, and wasn’t that a weird reason to smile? Instead of commenting on any of that he stole two sausages directly off of Aaron’s plate and put them on Nicky’s, ignoring the affronted cursing from the other man. 

“Merry Christmas, Nicky,” he said pointedly, then went about loading his own plate. 

Neil had never thought much about Christmas before, it just hadn’t been anywhere close to his list of things to worry about. But now... now that he was able to think about things that, well, that weren’t worries he thought that maybe it was something he could kinda get used to. Maybe it was something he could like -- especially if it meant sleepy, cozy mornings and times like this, where he could be so comfortable, so happy, in the circle of his family.

[luna-almighty-god]

An Ampora doesn't cry n°5 [HumanStuck]

Click here to read on Ao3

Homestuck belongs to Andrew Hussie

Please don't refer to this fanfic if you are looking for canonical information.

Rating M : presence of lemon / threesome becoming a foursome

Enjoy reading!

=== ===

Previous chapter

=== ===

The following week arrives quickly, and Eridan is proud to reveal, for the first time, his apartment. He took the initiative to invite the three idiots -yes, he insists on calling them that- using the excuse that "Since Gamzee is going to move in, we might as well take a look to see how he's going to settle in. And by the way, the other two can come so they'll know where to crash now."

Sollux remains dumbfounded, as do Gamzee and Karkat.

" ... An apartment big enough for two, you say? Damn it Eridan, you could house the whole gang, this isn't an apartment, it's a castle!"

Eridan answers them with a big smile. Well, he admits it, he was very modest when talking about his home. His apartment takes up a whole floor of the building, one would almost believe in a real house! The entrance hall leads directly to the large living room, which is itself connected to the kitchen. American style kitchen, beware! There is only a counter to separate the two rooms, giving a large open space. The living room has a large couch located in front of a flat screen TV, and Karkat is the first to get outraged:

"Holy shit, you have a curved TV?! You're kidding!"

The smallest one leaves to rave about the screen, while Gamzee quietly goes to open the doors. There are no corridors, the living room is the place to go from one room to another. Gamzee just takes a quick look: an office, Eridan's bedroom, a bathroom - gosh, there's a shower AND a bath? - as well as a laundry room...

" ... Wow bro, this is so cool!" comments Gamzee, his eyes sparkling, even if he doesn't seem that surprised. He must have lived in this kind of place before his parents kicked him out.

Sollux and Karkat don't know where to look anymore. It's not only the luxury of the apartment that disturbs them, but also the impeccable cleanliness. The living room is so... pure, devoid of personal belongings. You'd think no one lives there, that it's just a picture in a design magazine.

Sollux looks at Eridan, searching for the right words before asking:

"...isn't this...too big, for one person?"

In other words: didn't you feel fucking lonely the whole time?

Eridan gets embarrassed, pouts, looks away and shrugs:

"Better too much than not enough, right?"

In other words: Yes, but now I'm not alone anymore.

This makes Sollux smile, and he decides to relax and make himself at home. He goes to join Karkat near the TV:

"I brought my switch. Shall we connect it to the screen? It can be really good.

- Oh yeah ! A mario party ! Karkat is delighted.

- No, more like Mario Kart.

- In your dreams, you killed the game! There's no fun in playing when all you do is win!

- Winning? I don't win. I DEFUND you."

Sollux approaches a mocking face and Karkat blushes with shame:

"YOU'LL SEE, IT'S ME WHO'LL DEFEAT YOU!"

Eridan holds back a laugh, deciding to let them settle in while he joins Gamzee in... shit, where did he go? He glances around the other rooms, only to find him in his own room, collapsed on his bed.

Eridan clears his throat, hoping his embarrassment isn't too obvious. Other than Feferi, no one has ever been in here, let alone a handsome guy who has ever touched him a little too intimately.

"Gamzee?"

The respondent, who was staring at the ceiling, straightens up on his elbows and smiles at him::

"Hey bro~ Sorry, your bed looked so comfortable, I couldn't resist~"

Eridan shrugs, continues to look at him in silence, before hesitating:

" ... Are you alright? What were you thinking about?

- How lucky I am to be here! Eheh, this is great, too great!"

The taller one grabs him, pulls him to fall on top of him. Eridan lets out a squeak, turns crimson. Shit, he definitely can't get used to this kind of gesture.

"You're the best Eridan, frankly the best bro of all time!

- Pff... obviously, yes."

Eridan tries to keep his head up, to swallow his embarrassment, but it's hard to stay calm when someone is hugging you like that, on your bed, in your room, and then comes to kiss you on the cheek, then on the edge of the lips... and on the mouth...

"S-Stop!" exclaims the host, placing his hand over Gamzee's mouth.

The taller man blinks in surprise, and Eridan bites his tongue before looking away:

" ... L-Listen... it's not that I don't like it, but there... no. Not there, not like that, not here.

- ... Like this? Here?

- ... I... both of us... In my room... it's..."

Gamzee stares at him again, trying to figure out what he means, and Eridan holds back from calling him names for causing him such embarrassment. Damn it, does he really have to explain it like that, out loud?!

Eridan desperately flees his gaze, and feeling his breath against his palm doesn't help.

"...This is...too intimate..."

Gamzee finally seems to understand, as his eyes widen slightly. But instead of stopping, he grabs Eridan's wrist to take it off his mouth, and offers a mischievous smile:

"You want to close the door? The bros won't bother us~"

Eridan jumps to his feet and his expression is one of laughter. He winces under the panic, the embarrassment, the intense embarrassment that clutches his heart and makes him want to run away:

"NO!!!"

He has lost control of his voice, his scream echoes throughout the apartment. That's the problem with having a big space: the echo is too good. He and Gamzee stare at each other, one dead of shame, the other stunned. Eridan takes off, rushes towards the exit, crosses the living room to the kitchen. Gamzee follows him, his big legs allow him to catch up easily although he does not dare to touch him:

"Hey, Eri, was that a joke?

- Your jokes are shit!

- Well, maybe it was not completely a joke...?

- It gets better and better!

- You know I'd never force you to do anything, right?"

Eridan didn't answer. The memory of the amphitheater comes back to him, but he refrains from bringing it up. It would be too mean to accuse him of having forced him at that moment, knowing that Eridan somewhat indulged and enjoyed the treatment. But damn... !

" ... You're fucking boring." he said, sulkily, as he walked around the counter and focused on making a hot drink, just to keep his hands busy and not have to look at the others.

That doesn't stop Gamzee from coming and sticking to his back and hugging him shyly, with the attitude of the one who made a mistake and is trying to be forgiven:

"Sorry... are you mad at me?"

Eridan glances at him, tenses at his puppy dog look, finally growling as he refocuses on his drink:

"...no. It's not that.

- What is it then...?"

Karkat looks at them from across the counter:

"He's embarrassed, you idiot! You can see he's not used to it!"

Gamzee pouts:

"Is that true Eri? Are you embarrassed?

- N-No, I'm not embarrassed! I'm just...I... Argh, yes, I'm embarrassed! There, happy?"

Eridan gets out of his grip and goes to lean against the worktop, his drink in his hands. Karkat rolls his eyes and looks at Gamzee:

"You have to take it easy, idiot. Not everyone is comfortable with physical contact.

- Like you?

- I'M VERY COMFORTABLE WITH IT!"

It' s Karkat who is now crimson, and Gamzee laughs. He goes around to join the smaller one, leans over, winks at him:

"Well go ahead, show me~"

Karkat swears, comes to kiss him, but with such vehemence that their teeth clash, and the noise makes Eridan wince, as well as Karkat, while Gamzee blinks and finally explodes with laughter:

"Ahah, too violent little bro !~

- S-Shut up!!!"

Gamzee pats his head, amused, then walks away to join Sollux on the couch. Karkat seems to be the one pouting now. He joins Eridan in the kitchen, hands in the pockets:

"Tch, how boring..."

Eridan hides his smile and just shakes his head. He then proposes:

"Do you want to drink something?

- ... Mm... water, for now."

The host nods and serves him a glass. Karkat grabs it, takes a small sip, before setting the container back down on the counter without seeming to care more than that. He looks at Eridan hesitantly, seems to want to say something but finally remains silent.

" ... Is something wrong?" asks the one with glasses.

Karkat twiddles his fingers, eyes glued to the ground, wincing as he desperately searches for words. And obviously, being unable to speak, to explain himself, frustrates him enormously, makes him blush with shame. He just seems to want to run away, but is tugged by his ego, which is pushing him to face up, trying to get him to talk.

"I..."

Eridan isn't sure how to help him. So he remains silent, attentive, patient. What could the smaller one have to reveal, that it seems so hard to talk about?

"FUCK!" swears Karkat, who gets angry at himself, at the words that still don't come out.

He stamps his foot, opens and closes his mouth several times. Eridan feels bad for him, guesses how humiliated he must feel to give such a show. But even if he would like to reassure him and to take him in his arms, he is afraid that it doesn't help, that it embarrasses his comrade only more.

But Karkat suddenly grabs his hand, squeezes it hard, shaking, before closing his eyes, taking a breath, and unpacking in one go:

"CanIkissYou?!"

He almost screamed, and now he remains frozen, eyes closed, waiting for his answer like an ordeal.

Eridan blinks, bewildered:

" ... Kiss me?" he repeats, fearing to have misunderstood.

Karkat empourpre, nods sharply the head without daring to repeat himself. Eridan remains silent, taken by surprise, he clearly didn't expect such a request.

Suddenly, Karkat lets him go, moves back, as if he had been burned:

"No, No forget it, forget it, it was shit, forget it!"

He goes to leave the kitchen but Eridan holds him by the hand, sensing that something is wrong, that Karkat is no longer just nervous but downright panicked.

"But no, I was just surprised!

- Rah, no, leave it the fuck alone! I shouldn't have asked, I don't even know what I was expecting! I'm not Gamzee or Sollux, I don't even know why I'm trying!"

Eridan widens his eyes, before frowning and pulling him up, forcing him to face him, to look at him:

"But you don't have to look like them to kiss me!

- Of course I do! I'm not... I don't have the same ease or the same fucking way of turning the head! Look at this, in front of them you lose control, in front of me you talk to me like I'm a kid!"

Karkat releases his hands and brings them back against him, crossing his arms, shoulders hunched, closing in on himself as he looks down feverishly:

"You all do this... always treating me like I'm a fucking kid! They don't even give me a chance to be ..."

But he pauses, bites his lip, so hard that Eridan already perceives a little reddish liquid appearing. He understands that this isn't just a problem with him, but a problem with Gamzee and Sollux of which he has no knowledge. Although... he suspects, deep down, the nature of the problem.

"...I'm borrowing the bathroom from you." growls Karkat before leaving the kitchen...only to blush when he sees his two lovers staring at him from the couch. Shit, yeah, it's true that this fucking apartment doesn't have the concept of "private space."

Gamzee straightens up, concerned:

" ... Karka..."

But the smaller one ignores him, slams the bathroom door behind him. He doesn't seem so much to be mad at the others but rather at himself.

Sollux grimaces and leaves the couch, moves closer to the shower room, knocks gently:

" ... Karkat, open please."

Silence. Sollux insists:

" Can I come in? Only me? ... If there's a problem, I'd rather we talk about it."

A click. Sollux opens the door and rushes into the bathroom, taking care to close it behind him.

Eridan leaves the kitchen in turn to get a visual on Gamzee but is surprised not to see him. He walks around the couch, only to realize that he has curled up on it after pulling his hood down over his head. He looks so small and vulnerable in this position, Eridan feels his heart clench. He gets closer, sits down beside him, comes to rub his arm gently.

"...I'm such a fucking bad friend, aren't I...?" asks Gamzee piteously, hiding under his hood.

- ... No. You're just clumsy, like anyone else."

Gamzee shakes his head:

"... no... no, I'm such a jerk, I do nonsense... I do nonsense for my parents, nonsense for my buddies, nonsense for my boyfriends... I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm like this..."

Eridan would have cried about it. But it's not his place to be comforted now. He resumes a hard air, grabs the hood of the other without warning to pull it abruptly, revealing the defeated face of Gamzee. This last is startled, looks at him, the wet eyes, before remaining bewildered when he sees Eridan approaching and taking him a kiss. A long, voracious kiss, an experimental kiss too. Eridan has never done this, but he doesn't fancy a simple brush. No, he tries to devour his mouth, and this while pushing him back against the pillows.

Soon, the host finds himself astride his guest, breaks the kiss, breathless. Gamzee remains mute, breathes as fast as he does, and the situation seems so incredible. The taller man doesn't believe he's ever experienced this, no one has ever managed to just...submit him?

"F-Fuck bro..."

Eridan glares at him, and his voice becomes implacable:

"Apologize again for being yourself, and I'll slap you, is that clear?

- ... but...

- You're not an idiot, or a freak, or whatever the hell you've been told! You screwed up, it happens, but don't feel sorry for yourself for hours either!"

Because Eridan knows all too well that feeling of being the most laughable being in the universe, that feeling of shame and loneliness that makes you want to hide in a corner and never come out again. And there's no way he's going to let his loved ones experience the same thing.

Gamzee's laughter returns, more tender, more cheerful:

"Ahah... you're really... really the best."

Eridan relaxes a bit, finally laughing back:

"Yeah... Yeah, I know."

They take some time to calm down, before Eridan stands up, letting Gamzee straighten up. He goes back for his hot drink and takes the opportunity to bring one back to his comrade. They then sit down, one beside the other, in the sofa, waiting patiently for the two others to come back.

After about twenty minutes, Sollux is the first one to show up, very quickly followed by a Karkat with an elusive and slightly red look. Eridan and Gamzee hold back any comment but understand that he has probably cried.

Yet the smaller one stands in front of them, although he doesn't look directly at them:

" ... I'm sorry. I..."

He hesitates again, but this time he takes a breath, and suddenly glares at Gamzee:

"I WANT YOU TO LET ME DOMINATE! IT BORES ME TO BE ALWAYS PASSIVE! "

His face took again a beautiful red tint, but Eridan holds him in respect to be so honest on a subject which he considers so embarrassing. Gamzee, for his part, blinks before tilting his head, confused:

" ... Okay, yes.

- ... Seriously? You accept so easily? Karkat is astonished.

- We never tried, so yeah I'll try. Sorry little bro, I didn't think you were serious about it. I thought this 'want to dominate' thing was some kind of role-play where I had to submit you.

- BUT ARE YOU SERIOUS? I ASK YOU A MILLION TIMES!

- Yeah, every time we were in bed, so I thought it was a game?

- FUCK IT, I JUST HAD TO ASK YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF A CONVERSATION LIKE THAT? BUT HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO FIND THE OPPORTUNITY! IT'S FUCKING EMBARRASSING!"

Karkat plunges his face in his hands while howling of rage. Eridan realizes that Sollux, remained in the background, stifles a laugh behind his hand. He keeps himself from laughing, sympathizing with the poor Karkat who is dying of shame.

Gamzee opens his arms:

"Do you want to try now little bro?

- Wh- BUT NOT!

- Just a kiss?"

Karkat cusses, grunts, looks everywhere but at the other three boys. He finally gets closer to Gamzee:

"...If you mess with me, I'll take you apart...” he threatens.

He climbs onto the sofa, settles between the legs of the taller boy, puts his hands on his cheeks and looks at him shyly, seeming to gauge the situation, thinking about how he's going to handle it. Gamzee keeps his smile, curious and patient, while Eridan observes them from the corner of his eye with the embarrassing feeling of being a stalker.

Karkat finally comes to put his lips, much more lightly than the previous time, letting their mouths move one against the other. Without moving away he moves his head a little, changes the angle, presses harder while pushing Gamzee against the back of the sofa, coming to stick his body all against his. He comes to nibble the lower lip, licks it with the end of his tongue, and the bigger one shudders while opening gently his mouth. Karkat embraces his shoulders, deepens the kiss, slides his tongue against his sister in a hot sigh.

Eridan tears himself from his contemplation, the burning face. He fixes an invisible point, trying to ignore the movements of the couple, the wet noises which invade the room. Shit... Shit, they really don't know the term "privacy", do they?

He is startled when Sollux enters his field of vision, and he guesses at once that he has an idea behind the head. Difficult to ignore the one with the two colors of eyes when this one approaches you and that, in spite of his glasses, you feel his glance piercing your being. Eridan swallows, moves back by reflex against the back of the sofa. Sollux approaches an amused smile, takes him quietly his cup of the hands to put it back on the table, before climbing on the sofa and stuck it there.

"Relax..." he whispers.

He brings his face closer to his, and Eridan almost perceives a laugh when he asks:

"Can I kiss you?"

Even when Sollux whispers, his voice remains mesmerizing. Eridan struggles not to look away, especially fearing that the other two will continue kissing. My god, what is this situation? That appears normal to them, to them three, to kiss each other like that, in the middle of the living room? He raises his glasses feverishly, bites his lip, finishes by nodding gently.

Sollux loses his smile, becomes more serious while he puts his hands against the file, on both sides of the head of Eridan. He mimics Karkat and begins with a tender, patient kiss, to begin the contact, to feel their lips brush against each other, to caress.

"...open your mouth..." he whispers, and Eridan shudders and complies.

When he feels Sollux's tongue between his lips, he closes his eyes tightly and holds his breath. He thinks he hears the other laughing again, but he is too embarrassed to get angry right away. He is nervous, too nervous. The tongue brushes against his, wringing out a squeak, and Eridan opens his eyes in surprise, in a flinch that causes Sollux to back away.

"... uh... are you okay? " questions the one with the vairons eyes, a little worried to be gone too far.

Eridan hides his red face behind his arm :

"No! No, you irritate me, moron!"

Sollux finds his smile, takes his hand, obliges him to show his ashamed and shy expression. He comes back to kiss him, without begging the authorization this time. A muffled moan is perceptible, difficult to say who pushed it. Eridan wriggles, closes his eyes, the heat rising to his head. The tongue of Sollux returns to titillate his, their burning breaths mingle, and in this flow of sensation, Ampora seeks to what to hold on. He claws the sofa, but startles when he feels a hand taking his, intertwining their fingers. He half-opens his eyes, only to glance at it, to realize that it is Gamzee's hand.

But Sollux prevents him from thinking about it and pushes him to close his eyes, intensifying the kiss, tearing him another unspeakable noise. Shit ... He feels the hands leaving the file to settle on his shoulders, come to untie his scarf, exposed his neck to the free air. A shiver seizes him, followed by a weak whimper when the fingers come to caress his nape.

Sollux moves aside, and Eridan takes advantage of it to catch his breath. At least he thought he had the time, but he reopens his eyes abruptly as a groan, very strong, very real, escapes him and resounds in the living room. Sollux, that bastard... ! At what moment did he slip his face in his neck, did he have the audacity to come to put his lips there, to suck his skin?

Humiliated, Eridan tries to push him away with his free hand, the other still imprisoned by Gamzee's.

"Wh- Sto-StopAH!"

He finds himself unable to articulate, his throat is devoured, snatched up by greedy lips, pressed. Nibbled by teasing teeth, he squeals, twists, arches. Each corner of his skin seems to burn him, as marked by the least contact.

"S-SOL-UGH!"

He hiccups, his vision blurred, taken by a fever that he does not explain. He looks for air painfully, his heart beats too much, he hears almost only that. That and his indecent moans, those obscene noises he tries to keep quiet, in vain.

Is it good? He doesn't know, he doesn't understand, it's close to the sensations that Gamzee made him feel, he feels himself going just as crazy, and yet his intimacy is not touched, there is only his neck that is taken by assault. Is this normal? Is it normal to be in such a state for this, to moan like he does, to have this feeling of losing your mind?

The pleasure is being choked by the panic that grips his throat, by the apprehension of what is happening and what is coming next, what attitude he should have... what attitude is he supposed to have?

"S-STOP!"

Beyond the scream, it's the sob that petrifies Sollux and causes him to sit up, to look at Eridan.

Eridan who can't take it anymore, who gasps for air as he can. His skin is hot, his neck marked by hickeys and bites - not very deep, but still. Eridan, who doesn't even stare at him, but on the contrary flees eye contact, pulls himself out of Gamzee's hand to wipe his face, to try to dry the tears that have escaped him. He sniffs, feels ashamed to almost cry for that, does everything to regain his calm.

The silence strikes him. He realizes that he had to interrupt the other two, and guilt tightens his stomach. He didn't want to spoil the moment, he only wanted to slow down Sollux, to calm down the game. He doesn't dare say anything, doesn't even manage to apologize as the "sorry" itches his lips. But the silence that lingers scares him, he still doesn't dare to look at the others. Did he piss them off? Are they mad at him?

" ... Sorry, I scared you..." Sollux whispers softly to him.

Feverishly, Eridan looks at him out of the corner of his eye, and a wave of relief washes over him when he doesn't blame him for stopping him. But pride obliges, the Ampora bites his lip and crosses his arms, haughty:

"No! But we had said 'kiss', just 'kiss'!" he scolds, and this in spite of his glance still shining of tears, in spite of the traces that it left on his cheeks.

Sollux grimaces by observing him, doesn't believe for a moment in this false anger. He dares to stretch out his hand towards him again, Eridan tenses up but lets him put his hand on his cheek and caresses him gently with his thumb.

" Yes, excuse me, I rushed. Is that okay?"

Eridan hesitates, looks away, passes a hand over his eyes to wipe away the last of his tears.

" ... Yes.

- And the truth?

- But it's okay I tell you!

- Tell me again, looking me in the eyes."

Eridan gets annoyed, looks at him again, but swallows when he sees Sollux taking off his glasses, plunging vairish pupils into his own. It's unfair...it's really unfair, how can he answer with that penetrating look on him?

" ... I..."

Eridan purses his lips, and no matter how hard he struggles, he finally lowers his gaze. He tries to hide his weakness by taking off his glasses in turn, only to pretend to clean them, as he searches for his words, searches for a way to not humiliate himself further:

"...I just didn't expect you to do that, that's all. It's just surprise.

- Did I hurt you?

- Wh- But no, but it's not that!

- Fear then?

- No, no I wasn't scared!"

Sollux grabs one of his wrists, Eridan is startled and raises his head, and this time yes, this time it is well of the anger which starts to seize him and which pushes him to throw a black glance to his interlocutor:

" Let me go!

- Eridan, it's okay to be afraid, especially about this kind of thing.

- I am NOT afraid!

- You're shaking.

- NO! I'M NOT SHAKING!

- You're screaming.

- BECAUSE YOU'RE PISSING ME OFF!"

Eridan doesn't know with what strength he manages to straighten up, to push Sollux and make him fall from the sofa. Sollux who doesn't hide his astonishment by ending up with his ass on the floor, while Eridan stands up mad with anger:

"I DON'T NEED YOU TO THROW OUT THE OBVIOUS, I DON'T NEED YOU TO PATRONIZE ME, I DON'T NEED YOU TO MAKE FUN OF ME!"

Sollux frowns:

"What?! But I'm not making fun of you!"

And as he straightens up, he spits with deep annoyance:

"Stop being paranoid, shit!

- Paranoid?! No, but it's getting better and better! You're the first one to say I need to find the right partner, then you jump down my throat and I'm not even allowed to take it wrong?

- I didn't jump down your throat! And you should have stopped me earlier if it bothered you so much!

- I tried to push you away, you didn't want to hear it!!!

- Because you were moaning! You liked it, didn't you?!

- BUT I DON'T KNOW! I NEVER FELT THAT WAY BEFORE!

- I THOUGHT GAMZEE HAD ALREADY TOUCHED YOU?!

- THAT'S NOT THE POINT!

- YES OF COURSE! WHEN IT'S GAMZEE IT'S OK, WHEN IT'S ME I CAN GO FUCK MYSELF!

- THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID!"

They are silent, only to catch their breath, their voices hoarse from yelling, but they continue to stare at each other. It's up to the one who will start again first, the one who will dare to break this brief moment of calm, the one who will provoke new hostilities...

But they are preceded by Karkat who interposes himself between them:

"Guys, seriously, calm down!"

And for it to be him who orders this, it is that they have to go. They break the visual exchange to observe the smaller one, only a few seconds, before Eridan turns away with a pest, putting a hand on his neck, hiding the marks on his skin. He makes about face and gains the bathroom, his steps clattering dryly on the ground, sign that his anger isn't appeased.

Karkat blows a blow, reassured that that doesn't start a fight... but it is Gamzee who makes the blow of grace by observing Sollux:

"Damn, he's the only one to make you scream so much."

Sollux chokes, blushes - of anger or embarrassment? - and retorts a magnificent "SHUT UP!"

Karkat rolls his eyes and gives him a blow of elbow:

"He's not wrong. First time I see you lose patience so quickly.

- Tch, I didn't ask you anything.

- Don't pout, Captor, and go apologize instead. Problems are best solved by talking, as you so aptly put it."

Sollux doesn't miss the mockery in the smaller boy's voice, though the latter is serious. He grumbles, massages the nape of his neck, before blowing and going in the direction of the bathroom, not without forgetting to put back his glasses. To believe that he is going to spend his evening in this room...

He knocks, but contrary to previously he opens without waiting for an answer, to fall on Eridan who stands in front of the mirror and who seems to disinfect some bites. There is a blank, the Ampora observes it in the mirror before simply ignoring it, frowned. Sollux enters and closes the door behind him, but the uneasiness is present. If he knows how to calm the game with Karkat, it is more difficult in front of Eridan.

"... I really thought you liked it." ends up saying Sollux, hands in pockets, without letting him out of sight.

The host grunts, continues to pat the slight wounds of his cotton, before taking out some cream and spreading a dab of it on his neck :

"... fuck you.

- I'm trying to have a conversation here. Can you be more open?

- To say what? To yell at you again that I DON'T KNOW? I don't know if I liked it, if I hated it, if you fucking hurt me and I want to do it again! I don't know, Gamzee drove me as crazy as you did, and if you must know I ended up crying in his arms! There, happy?

- ... But... Fucking happy about what?! I don't understand you, what's the problem exactly ? Are you angry with us ? Because we forced you ?

- No way! You didn't.. RAH!"

Eridan turns to him, annoyed:

"Forget it, get out, go back with the others, I'll join you!

- NO! Are you mad because you don't know what you feel? You always have to try new things, it's like with the motorcycle, you have to...

- I'M TIRED OF EMBARRASSING MYSELF!"

Sollux opens his eyes wide:

"...huh?"

Eridan nervously runs a hand through his hair:

"I'm tired of humiliating myself with every single thing I do, every single thing that happens! I'm sick of crying in front of you, saying stupid shit in front of you, freaking out over nothing, ruining the moment, just... shit, just shit, that's it! When I tell you that 'it's ok' can't you just accept it without questioning, without insisting and trying to do a fucking psychoanalysis? No because I have a shrink for that! Or I'll ask Lalonde, trust me that girl doesn't need a certificate to give you a full analysis!"

Sollux stares at him without a word, then massages his temples as he takes it all in:

"...no but...Damn it, Eridan Ampora, what's keeping me from hitting you?

- Wha...

- How do you expect me not to ask questions when you pushed me back to the edge of the tears? I forced you to the point of crying, and you want me to turn a blind eye to that? But who do you think I am, how can you expect me not to care if you cry? There is no humiliation! If anyone is humiliated it's me, me and my fucking guilt!"

Eridan further:

"Ok, I pushed you away too hard, but you were going too fast! That doesn't mean you should blame yourself, damn it! I don't need to be mothered at the drop of a hat!

- How should I know?! We've only been together for a week, let me learn to find the fucking balance, a relationship doesn't just work like that, at the snap of a finger!"

The tube of cream falls on the ground, surprises Sollux who is astonished, throwing a glance on the ground before looking again at Eridan who has the bewildered face.

"What? What?" he panics, fearing to have said a new bullshit which will start again a violent argument.

- ... We' re a couple?"

Eridan's voice was stunned. Sollux remained blissful.

" ... Huh?

- ... What?"

They looked at each other for a long time, equally confused.

" ... Eridan... We're... Yeah, we're together... ? No ?

- B-but I don't know, You tell me!

- What do you mean I have to tell you?! You should know!

- But how?! Well, kissing and touching me all the time doesn't mean we're a couple!

- Are you kidding me?! Do you let anyone touch you like that?!

- Of course not !! Only you!!!"

Eridan becomes flushed, brings a hand to his mouth as he looks away, suddenly more shy:

"B-But, it's just that... that I don't know, there was no... I never imagined... me, with you? It's...It's unthinkable."

Sollux frowns, takes a step forward:

"And why?

- But... But because it's me? I know you said you liked me, okay, but... Shit, look at me! Can you see yourself having a relationship with ME? A REAL relationship?

- Of course!

- I'm not talking about friendship or sex friend or..."

Sollux grabs his face, forces him to look at him:

"Eridan! I'm talking about being in a romantic relationship! Not just fucking!

- B-But...

- You, with me, Karkat and Gamzee! We all three agree, so..."

Sollux hesitates, bites his tongue:

" ... would you agree? You've already experimented a little... We thought you were already... okay?

- ... Honestly? I haven't thought about it at all...

- I mean, really... ? You let yourself be kissed without thinking?"

Eridan pouts, giving him a light flick on the forehead:

"Fuck you, it's hard to resist you..."

This time it wrings a smile from Sollux:

"Really? Why?

- Fuck you!

- We are irresistible?

- Damn it, Sol!

- Oh yes, sorry, you don't like my 'psychoanalysis' sessions ~ "

Eridan disengages with embarrassment to give him a blow in the shoulder, whereas that with the eyes vairons sneers. Annoyed, the Ampora picked up the tube of cream which he hastens to arrange, before passing his comrade to leave the bathroom. Sollux follows him with a smile in the corners:

" Come on Eri, say it! Say that you love us too~

- Rah, shut up!

- I won't let you go!

- I'm going to kill you Captor!"

Karkat and Gamzee see them return and exchange a look, holding back their relieved laughter. It's good to see that they've calmed down and are going to have a quiet evening again.

=== ===

Chapter 6

=== ===

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[adrenalinesaint]

With that little slip of paper in his hand, Jonathan has all the information he needs to find one Andrew Miller. Strangely enough, he’d left a return address on the letter that corresponded to a hotel, confirming that the man had to only be in town for a few days, tops. Finishing off a cigarette outside the Hotel Cortez in uptown, Jonathan looks quite out of place among the rest of the passersby on the sidewalk. He’s one of the very few people present not dressed for some shindig or meeting -- but he does have one thing in common with the other cold East-coasters: a pair of leather gloves.

Gloves that squeak against themselves when he pulls open the front doors to the establishment. The woman at the front desk begins her usual welcoming spiel, but quickly stops when she sees how underdressed he is.

“Perhaps you’re... looking for the Motel Six?” despite how rude her question is, it’s clear she’s trying to be polite by her sheepish demeanor.

“I’m here to meet someone, actually. Andrew Miller. Room 328.” He flashes the letter, now folded back into the envelope, to prove some manner of legitimacy. Glancing over the return address, the receptionist pauses for a moment in thought.

It’s clear it’s not standard business practice to divulge a guest’s room number. But he clearly already knows.

“All right,” finally, she responds, click-clacking away at her computer. “You can take the elevator on the right, past the spa entrance.”

Jonathan departs with a polite nod of the head and passes the spa entrance on his way to the elevator. When he steps out on the third floor, it takes almost no time at all to find the twenty-eighth door. Looking to and fro, Jonathan quickly identifies a mostly-eaten tray of food left outside one of the other doors and picks it up, rearranging some of the contents of the plate to make it look a bit neater. He knocks three times and positions himself well within view of the peep hole.

“Room service,” he calls through the door.

After a few moments of silence and stillness, the little red light on the lock mechanism of the hotel room door turns green. Perfect.

“Wow, that’s fast. I just ordered like five minutes ago -- “ As the door opens, Andrew is in a hotel-issued bath robe, apparently getting ready for bed. When he’s met with the sight of Jonathan holding someone’s scraps, however, his brow furrows. “You’re... not room service.”

“How very astute of you.”

“So... who are you?”

“Your replacement.”

“What?”

The metallic tray makes a clattering sound as it collides with Andrew’s face, the silverware thereupon going flying to all corners of the hallway outside the man’s hotel room. Stunned by the sudden force of it, seeing stars, he reels backward into his room, hands unconsciously releasing the door and creating an opening for Jonathan to push through. Once he’s fully through the threshold, the door closes automatically due to a spring-loaded mechanism overhead, and creaks eerily as it does so.

“What the fuck -- “

“Shut up.” From his pocket, Jonathan produces the letter Andrew had so carefully written for Eliza. He flashes it to show intent and then lets it drop to the floor. “You’re a very naughty boy, Andrew Miller. Came all the way to Gotham because you couldn’t let go. Well, you’re in luck. Because I’m here to sever all ties you still have with her. By force.”

“Get the hell out of my room!” Andrew’s a bit of a fighter, it seems. Reaching over to the ice bucket still perspiring on his dining table, he fists the neck of a wine bottle and breaks it over the edge of the table, producing a modest weapon.

Pausing for a moment, Jonathan regards the broken bottle as though it were a plastic switchblade brought to a gunfight. And then Andrew advances.

With a forward lunge and a stabbing motion, he thrusts the bottle upward and out, into what would be Jonathan’s stomach, had he not side-stepped the attempt. Instead, the taller man dodges the lunge and uses the opening to catch Andrew’s arm and strike upward with his knee to cause some damage to the elbow joint. When the collision strikes, a terrible cracking sound can be heard -- not of bones breaking, but colliding. With the burst of pain, Andrew drops the bottle and curses out loud, still stuck in Jonathan’s grip.

Pulling him closer in a quick motion, another loud crack echoes through the hotel room as Jonathan headbutts the man in the nose -- this time, causing a breakage. Blood begins to pour as he pulls back, and Andrew’s fighting spirit is beginning to wane as his faculties are overtaken with shock and pain.

Now. Yes, now is a good time. Letting go of the man’s arm and delivering a powerful kick to the stomach, Jonathan forces him backward and onto the ground, giving himself a window of opportunity to pull from his jacket a loaded syringe.

“Should have been a gentleman, Andy. Shoulda known when to quit.”

Groaning on the floor, Andrew’s faculties are beginning to return. He wipes the blood from his face, blinking in quick succession as though it would clear the pain from his vision. Suddenly quite aware of the situation, he appears desperate as he once again searches the room for a weapon.

There are no more bottles to break, however. Jonathan comes closer, planting one boot atop Andrew’s chest as he lowers himself to loom over him.

“I’ll see you in hell.” Just as Andrew grabs hold of Jonathan’s boot and starts to resist, the syringe finds purchase in the younger man’s neck and the plunger goes all the way down.

Looking up at the shape of a long, skinny old man, Andrew has no idea who Jonathan Crane is as he loses consciousness. He’s not from Gotham, hasn’t read the papers that warn about the Scarecrow and his fear toxin. But, hours later, when he comes to again, he’ll know enough about his current predicament from seeing films like Saw and Hostel.

Apparently, he’s been unconscious for a while now. When he opens his eyes, the entire hotel room is covered in plastic.

“It’s a challenge, I’ll admit.”

At first, Andrew doesn’t recognize the voice. He has to remind himself of the ass-kicking he’d received hours prior. Of the man in the tweed jacket who injected him with something while talking about Eliza. Andrew blinks away the confusion and attempts to shakes his head. He can’t move his head. He can’t move his arms or legs. He can’t move his mouth. All he can do is blink and dart his eyes around the room, looking up from the hotel bed upon which he lay.

“Generally, my modus operandi involves actual killing. But she made a special request for you not to die.” Finally, Jonathan comes into view, this time wearing a grotesque mask made from burlap and -- are those human teeth? “I think she thought she was being merciful. Bless her heart. But you and I both know that there are far worse things than dying, don’t we? That it’s far, far worse to keep living, if you’ve been hurt badly enough.”

The sounds of metal clinking against metal can be heard, but Andrew can’t angle his head to see what Scarecrow is doing. He can only stare up into the eyes of that terrible mask.

“And I’m gonna hurt you, buddy. And you won’t even be able to scream.” With one hand, Scarecrow caresses Andrew’s hair, pushing some strands out of the grasp of his sweaty forehead. “Succinylcholine. It’s used as a muscle relaxant and paralytic for surgery. You’ll feel everything, but you won’t be able to move. And don’t worry. I’m a physician. I’ll know when you’re about to die, and I’ll be able to do something about it. We’ll keep you teetering for a while, I think. Just until I’m bored.”

They warned Andrew about going to Gotham. Watch out for muggers, they’d said. Watch out for subway station attacks or killer clowns. They’d never said watch out for actual psychos.

Finally, that metallic instrument comes into view: a pair of pliers. With that sight, Andrew’s eyes reflect a terrible understanding. Jonathan picks up one of Andrew’s limp hands and alternates between fingers while reciting, “This little piggy went to the market. This little piggy stayed home. This little piggy had roast beef. This little piggy had none.”

Settling on Andrew’s right thumb, he rubs the tip of the man’s finger between two of his for a moment.

“And this little piggy went wee-wee-wee--” A pause, it takes a fraction of a second to get a good grip on the end of the man’s fingernail with the pair of needle-nose pliers. “--All the way home.”

Andrew’s eyes bulge out of their sockets when the nail comes off. Less than ten feet away, on the other side of the wall, a couple is celebrating their anniversary over champagne and chocolates. Tears flow copiously from his eyes as his unmoving face holds in screams untold.

And this continues for some hours until Andrew has no more fingernails to remove. Until all his molars are missing, and his knee-caps are busted. In the morning, the police will find him on the hotel bed, unable to move himself, and they’ll assume it was the mob due to the knee-caps. Perhaps one day, Andrew will talk and press charges against Jonathan for those twelve hours of unspeakable agony.

But, as Jonathan removes his mask and makeup in the hotel room mirror, quite spent from the effort of it all, he cannot be pissed to care. Instead, he sighs happily as he shuts the hotel room door behind him, leaving the bloody mess for someone else to find. On the way home, he hides his bloodstained clothes behind an overcoat.

Perhaps he’ll pay Eliza a visit. Perhaps she’ll like to see the little Altoids container full of Andrews fingernails and teeth he’s collected.

As he strides into the cold morning light, the little tin in his pocket rattles like a shiny, new toy.

[starter-library]

「BLOODY BLOODY ANDREW JACKSON SENTENCE STARTERS」

“You ready?”

“You’re gonna have to bring some ass to get some ass”

“You’re sexy as shit”

“I’m wearing some tight, tight jeans and tonight we’re delving into some serious, serious shit”

“Why wouldn’t you ever go out with me in school”

“Take a stand against the elite”

“They don’t care anything for us”

“Oh my god, my fucking face!”

“Oh my god, my face is literally melting off into my hands right now”

“Oh fuck, the cholera finally got to her”

“I’m the only one, my family’s all dead”

“Who was it that ever said that my life really couldn’t get any duller”

“My family’s dead and I can’t see a way to carry on”

“I’m not that guy”

“Life sucks! And my life sucks in particular”

“When you have no one to show you what to do, how do you find your way?”

“When your country doesn’t have a place for you, how do you have your say? How do you make them pay?”

“Everyone around here’s all pissed off but no one’s taking a stand”

“There’s nothing left in this old town, pick up your life and move it around”

“Pick up your rifle and make a stand!”

“Who am I? I’m {First name} Fuckin’ {Lastname}!”

“The rain will rain down. The blood will bleed out. The sweat will sweat….uh… forth?”

“How can I be that guy?”

“I mean, can you believe that?”

“That really hurts! Jesus!”

“Holy shit”

“Tell your wife to keep the bed warm for me”

“You’re so angry”

“George Washington is not gay. You is a gay”

“Well— shut up!”

“YES! YES! KICK HIS ASS!”

“I remember my first love. {She/he/they} Drove a blue pickup with a dancing bear on the windshield”

“I think you might be the most beautiful {man/woman/person} I’ve ever seen”

“A wise woman once wrote that illness is not metaphor. So why do I feel sick when I look at you?”

“It’s not blood, It’s a metaphor for love. These aren’t veins just the beating of my heart”

“This fever isn’t real, It represents how I feel. My pain transformed into art”

“If you feel like you might throw up, well that’s a metaphor for how I feel when I dream of you”

“Just so you know, I’m married to another”

“We need your help. We need you to lead us”

“Are you a divine prophet?”

“I think I can take it from here”

“Sometimes you have to take the initiative”

“Sometimes you have to make your own story, sometimes you have to shoot the story teller in the neck”

“I always thought I’d never be that guy but guess what, I’m telling you: I’m so that guy”

“Life sucks! And your life’s gonna suck universally”

“I will make them all bleed”

“Okay. I’ll see you guys later”

“You’re terrible, your music sucks, you have no table manners, your paintings suck—I mean look at this! No artistic vision!”

“Listen! I’m gonna do whatever I wanna do!”

“Dream catchers are mystical!”

“You’re drunk and I’m in love!”

“I didn’t leave my first husband and risk people calling me a whore to have an even more fucked up marriage with you”

“Oh how very exciting!”

“{He/she/they} make {him/her/them} look like a pussy! I can’t imagine what {He’s/she’s/they’re} making me look like in the process!”

“Oh god {name}! Why do you always have to be such a motherfucker?”

“You seem like a very kind {man/woman/person}”

“I see in your eyes pain, compassion, a {man/woman/person} who has known no end to suffering”

“Yeah, I’m gonna go”

“You brought me all the way here to tell me this?”

“I’m gonna fucking shit all over you guys”

“What’s with the baby?”

“Thank you, thank you. You guys have been fuckin’ repulsive”

“{Name} said something prescient about this but {He/she/they} was kind of a dick”

“Let’s dance!”

“You can compromise all you want, they’re still drunk and smell like pee”

“{Name}’s a total twat!”

“So exciting! I never win anything!”

“Fuck you!”

“Ladies and gentlemen, this one is gonna be a doozy”

“Do you have any idea what they might find out about us? About our past?”

“These past nearly four years with you have totally fucking sucked!”

“If you go back out on that stage, it’s done.”

“So what are you gonna do?”

“Why don’t you just shoot me in the head ‘cause you know I’d be better off dead”

“That’s right motherfuckers! {own name}’s back!”

“People of the world, this is our moment now!”

“I mean- did you see his jeans? They were so tight”

“I hear you talking talk about what you want, the travel the fighting, the pictures in the paper, the killing and campaigning”

“You tell me not to compromise, you tell me that you’ll change”

“You promise and you promise but I hear you talking talk about what you want and you get what you want.”

“You promise and you promise but oh- I’m so through with compromising!”

“We have no private life, you give up nothing. I give up everything.”

“I gave up everything, you give up nothing!”

“{He’s/she’s/they’re} an aristocratic blow-hard”

“Eat a dick you weasel-wearing fuck!”

“Keep talking and I’ll stab every last one of you!”

“You made your decision, {name}. Now don’t fuck it up”

“Just when everything I wanted was within my grasp, the irony is killing me”

“I make this one last vow: I’ll give my life to the people now.”

“I’ll be the man they need, the one to lead a generation.”

“I’ll listen to their voice with every choice as we transform this nation”

“I’ll keep on going”

“I gotta be that guy. It’s time to be that guy.”

“Big change is coming now, do you feel it?”

“This is what we’ve been waiting for!”

“Yeah fuck that guy, he’s been on my dick since day one”

“I can’t see him, I’m busy vibing with the people”

“The best part is everything he says is right”

“I really think that this will work, we’re young. We’ll live forever, at least for one more night”

“My luck will hold this time it always has before”

“I also have several forms of hepatitis”

“Okay, that’s uncomfortable”

“It’s not my job to decide these things! Jesus Christ!”

“I wasn’t really listening but I like you so much”

“This isn’t fun anymore, let’s leave”

“I think this is gonna be a problem”

“Did you really think that this would work, you’re fucked. You won’t live forever.”

“Your luck won’t hold this time, it won’t be like before. It’s never gonna work.”

“You’re an idiot!”

“That guy who did everything his way, where has he gone?”

“So tonight I’ll sing the saddest song for everyone that I’ve done wrong. And if they don’t know how to sing along well I’m sorry but the band plays on.”

“Would you like me to hold you? You must be so lonely”

“Please leave me”

“How can I tell you how deeply I’ll make them all bleed”

“Bring me {name} by any means necessary”

“The time to fuck around and talk and talk is over”

“You gotta make a decision”

“What do you say, {name}? Wanna be a hero?”

“{Name} don’t do this! I’m your friend!”

“What was it for, this country, the farms, and the blood across the prairie?”

“That’s not helping man”

“Great, great, good to hear. You know you’re not supposed to know your legacy before you die?”

“Wow, I kinda thought history would vindicate and call me a hero.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be dead?”

“Some people never change”

“Well I changed, I changed a whole lot. I had a whole character arch”

“Just listen if you’ve time to spare while I rehearse a ditty”

[absollnk]

Absol's Journey's End progression, act 1: prehardmode

(this post contains sarcasm not marked with /s because a., I'm not targeting any real people and b., It's for emphasis. I will also be explaining things that may not need to be explained to seasoned players in order to make this a little more accessible. Tw for sparse cursing)

wow

I'd like to call myself good at Terraria. I've played across several platforms since patch 1.1 and know way too much about this spectacular sandbox's intricate details. I can blaze through most bosses effortlessly if I'm prepared. I've done playthroughs of every class in expert mode (except summoner, couldn't find a slime staff even after farming :/).

It's so strange to be bitch slapped all the way back to square one just because I've never touched a keyboard before.

I don't remember what my initial key layout was, but currently, the important ones are-

WASD for movement

C for inventory

R for mounts

F for quick heal

B for quick buff

Space for jump

LeftAlt for smart cursor toggle

M for map

Left click for action and right click for interaction, and

Mouse 3 (scroll wheel *press* for grappling hook.

You should've seen my hour-one gameplay. It was sad. I couldn't change directions while jumping. I was regretting choosing expert mode difficulty. If I wasn't using journey mode's research system as a crutch, I'd probably still be pre-skeletron. I didn't even have enough skill to use the step stool accessory, which literally just requires holding up.

But, in the long run, I got better way faster than I could've anticipated. First, however, on irl day 2, I killed the Eye of Cthulhu on my fifth try after being torn apart by its last-resort Wacko Mode 4 times. At that point I was decked out in full gold gear with the fast and piercing jester arrows, so I really felt that the keyboard was holding me back considering that I usually do the eye armorless (admittedly I only had 100 life, but I usually do that too.)

The next day, slime rained. I thought that the king would be free gear, so I warped back to the surface to bring him out. He wasn't. He spawned on top of me, dealing 50+ damage immediately, wiping out half my total HP. I instinctively tried to use the shield dash to get the hell out of there, but I hit the inside of his body, which made me bounce back, which made me get hit again, resulting in death. The fight lasted less than 10 seconds, and I could only see the fucker for two of them.

With my spicy new tendon bow from the eye, I thought in my tilted rage that it would be a good idea to go and beat up the Brain of Cthulhu. I was itching for beefier armor and it was the gateway between me and crimson/molten gear. I set up an arena above the crimson made of two long rows of platforms covered in health regen-boosting campfires. With a stack of its spawn item (thanks journey mode), I brought in the first one to size up what I was dealing with.

I died pretty well. In fact, this is where I died the best out of the whole run so far.

The first attempt went surprisingly well. My lovely and incredibly sexy jester arrows made dealing with the creeper hoardes *relatively* easy. Phase two did not apply to that. I had brought along a burning mace because it had the dual functionality of circling the player or being shot out and coming back again like a baseball on an elastic string. This would theoretically allow me to attack the brain if it was far away and defend myself if it was too close to me. I did not know that the mace had very little knockback while it was spinning. This plan did not work.

ELEVEN atempts of trial and error later, I won. By that point, the creepers alone had dropped enough materials to make the crimson armor without ever actually killing the boss, which is pathetic. But I won, and I didn't cheat. I'm still in the easy baby phase of the game. At this point I'm starting to realize why most players statistically chop down a tree and ditch the game forever.

It's irl day 3. Next up on my blood feud against the children's video game was skeletron, the next step in progression that makes the final boss of prehardmode a little bit easier and the thing preventing me from seeing my hair. I set up and even longer 3-layer arena and prepared to not have fun, as skeletron is known in my head for being a dumb bitch who cheats with fast, homing projectiles and an un-telegraphed chain attack that will instantly kill you if you can't grapple out.

He took two tries. I don't get it. I was probably getting better at the controls by then, but *that much* better? Like, the successful attempt wasn't even that close. Whatever. I was annoyed that the stupid brain gave me so much trouble, and I seemingly couldn't be happy after a boss fight even if it went well. But, since we take those, I proceeded into the dungeon to find a bunch of disposable weapons and, more importantly, the cobalt shield. I didn't have to take knockback anymore. If I rematched the king slime then he was fucking dead.

The clothier moved in and I bought the familiar wig to reveal my luscious locks.

Queen bee is next. The fights were standard, but I learned that she apparently enrages on the surface? I always fight her there, except for this time when I stayed underground for funsies. She was so much easier underground. Good to know, I guess. I could've probably done her before even the Brain.

Because I'd never been able to before and because I happened to find the tavernkeep after the bee fight, I tried out the old one's army which logically and appropriately kicked my ass. It was a reality check for sure (things were going smoothly since after the brain minus movement) but it was also a neat experience.

I mowed through the gobins, finally maxed my hp, and then it became Wall Time. My loadout was now molten armor with the Molten Fury bow and the Sunfury flail (which for some reason has like ninety base dmg??? This is a PREhardmode weapon? It has NO business doing 90+ but hey I'll take it). I was also rocking the blizzard in a balloon, band of regen, fledgeling wings, lightning boots, and shield of Cthulhu. I felt like I was finally strong enough in-game and competent enough with the controls to advance to hardmode. I was finally good enough at the video game to change directions while jumping.

I built a roughly 1,900-block long bridge in hell out of the blast-proof dungeon bricks. My plan was to run far ahead of the wall and just kill it with dynamite. I grinded for a voodoo doll and yeeted it into the lava, murdering Andrew the guide with questionable morals and bringing forth the wall of flesh. Little did absol know that they forgot to pack the main part of their plan, dynamite. I realized this, contemplated in-game self murder to end the hopeless fight early, but then I had an epiphany. What if I didn't cheese the boss and fought it legitimately?

With my epic gamer status and pride on the line and expecting nothing more than failure, I whipped out my good ole 100-gotdamn-damage Sunfury and tore through the Wall's hungry appendages.

This is all cool and good on paper. I'm doing consistent damage and I'm not dying. That's how you kill bosses. Things are going well, life is good.

I check the map and learn that I've already used up two thirds of my hellbridge and that the wall was only just below half health. Oh no. Things are actually not going well and life is bad.

I switch to the bow, hoping that the speed and accuracy result in better DPS. Better it was, and I would be all set if it weren't for the Wall's gimmick. I was indeed doing more damage, but as it loses health, it gets faster. I'm at a point where I have to be running at full speed almost constantly to stay a safe distance away. The Wall's health still isn't in the dark red zone and I'm almost out of road. I'm starting to take steady damage from the exponentially faster eye lasers and leeches. I run out of bridge and have to hop from lava lake to building to lava lake in order to not burn alive in the infernal orange juice. New areas are being revealed on the map because I'm fighting in an area I've literally not been in yet. I'm too busy focusing on not being deep-fried that my aim suffers tremendously. I fumble while switching back to the flail for quality over quantity, costing me precious seconds. The wall now moves faster than my top speed. I mis-time a jump and right before the wall disintegrates me between itself and a building, it dies.

I audibly moan in real life.

I go and check the treasure bag after a few seconds of mental recalibration. I got a laser rifle and a ranger emblem, along with the standard demon heart which I immediately wolf down to slap on the emblem. I guess I'm a ranger now.

Recap:

King Slime: still alive

Eye of Cthulhu: five attempts

Brain of Cthulhu: twelve attempts

Skeletron: two attempts

Queen Bee: two attempts

Wall of Flesh: one attempt

The spirits of light and dark have been released and my gamer status is intact. Absol's next victim-victim relationship is with the Queen Slime, but that'll have to wait until the hardmode post :)

Thank you if you've read this far!! Lemme know what you think about this kind of thing, it was fun

[angelic-holland]

First Insecurity - you

Summary: at one point or another, everyone gets insecure about their relationship for one reason or another.

Warnings: fluffy angst, cyberbullying, insecurities

Word Count: 1.8k

A/N: back to longer ones, adding everyone from my taglist! if you want to be added, check out my bio. italics between (***) is a flashback, italics with (””) are tweets. Check out the rest of the series in my masterlist!

You were grateful, you really were, for the people you knew were only getting tattoos from you because you were Tom Holland’s girlfriend. If that’s what brought people to your chair, so be it, you had your license, your apprenticeship would take as long as you needed to get down the basics of several styles of tattoos before you could become a “professional” and start to really specialize in one area. Bryce said you’d be an apprentice for around a year, just like he was. Which just meant very cheap tattoos, translating into working very long hours tattooing before going to your second job. It was silly, but you wanted to save up enough to visit Tom as a surprise and airfare was so goddamn expensive.

You worked at a grocery store near your apartment on the late shift, you’d tattoo, tattoo, tattoo, and then change into your uniform and ring the occasional customer in at the 24-hour store from 10pm to 3am, then collapse in your bed and sleep before starting it all over again. And airfare was expensive. But he only just left a little over a week ago for London and you missed him. You always missed him.

This client was a girl, 19, very excited about working with you, rambling on and on about how Spiderman is her favorite superhero and could you “please tattoo Spiderman upside down hanging by his web on my arm.”

You sigh, sitting her down and talking to her seriously about the tattoo, would she want it forever, would she get bored with it, will she be okay with sitting for upwards of five hours that it would take to get the detailing just right. 

And she’d talk longer than you needed to hear about how important this was to her, how important Spiderman and Marvel and this was to her. 

“Okay,” you would sigh because Bryce would tell you if the idea was there, don’t turn down a client, not when you’re an apprentice and you’re living off of charging 25 dollars an hour and tips.

And you knew she was going to ask, about halfway through the outline of the tattoo she does, they always do. 

“So you’re dating Tom Holland.”

“Yes, I am,” you say with a forced smile.

“That’s cool. Always thought he was dating Zendaya, she’s really pretty.”

You hum, this was the first you’ve heard of that. But then again maybe your other clients that were fans of Tom were a little older or just had a better grasp of tattoo etiquette, including not asking personal questions. 

“Was he dating her before he dated you?”

“So why’d you decided to get the Spiderman tattoo? Is Tom your favorite Spiderman? Or Andrew Garfield, Tobey McGuire?” You ask, changing the subject because one, you had no idea, two, it wasn’t this girls business either.

“I like Tom’s the best. I’m really excited for the new movie.”

“Oh yeah? Me too,” you grin. 

The rest of the tattoo went by relatively quicker, she rambled about her ideas for Far From Home and you listened, taking in all her theories because you already knew what happened.

***

You and Tom arrived back at your apartment, he was practically carrying you, your arm around his back, head on his shoulder as your sleepy legs carried you up the stairs and to your front door. 

“You know what happens in Endgame right?” He asks as you sleepily take off your clothes to get ready for bed.

“Yes, cause you spoiled it for me, haven’t seen it yet though,” you mumble as you both walk to the bathroom to brush your teeth. 

“Oh you’re right,” Tom laughs, “sorry”.

You all but collapse onto the bed, Tom holding you tight against his chest. 

“I like you spoiling things, I hate being on edge and I hate surprises.”

“Did you hate me showing up for your graduation?”

“No, that was a really good surprise,” you giggle as his hand brushed your hair off your shoulder, tickling you slightly. 

“Want me to spoil the Spiderman movie for you?”

“Yes please,” you say, fingers running up and down his leg, laying on top of your own.

***

That night, after the Spiderman tattoo which you were quite proud of, you opened up twitter, you still had access to Tattoo Dice’s twitter which you never really used. 

You don’t know exactly why you did but after scrolling through tweets with Tom’s name you came to a few tweets with him and Zendaya. 

Wow.

She was pretty. Not just pretty, absolutely gorgeous. 

You just kept scrolling, laughing at some tweets that talked about how they looked at each other during interviews, claiming that was ‘love’. It was funny to you, until you came across something rather nasty with your name. 

It was a picture of you and Tom at Coney Island, Harry didn’t take it, someone else must’ve. You were being funny, each holding an arm of your teddy bear, swaying between the two of you.

“It’s like a kid,” Tom had laughed, and you turned pale thinking about a kid, your face slightly mortified before shaking out of it.

But of course, the picture showed your face scrunched up in mild horror.

Next to it was a picture of Tom and Zendaya on set of his movie, they were smiling wide at something they were being shown.

The caption made you grimace, “Tom and y/n versus tom and z, tell me again which one he’s dating”.

And maybe curiosity killed the cat because it also took a stab at you. 

You were pretty confident, in your art skills, in your flirting, you’ve never felt insecure in a relationship before. But maybe because you were all of a sudden dating this big star and you now see that half of his fans want him and Zendaya to be together.

Each tweet was another chip away at your hardened exterior and you hated it, your mind telling you to stop scrolling but you just can’t.

“I don’t know who they’re trying to fool but one public outing with a girl he hooked up with back in March? Is that their way of saying him and Z aren’t dating? Clowns”

“Tom and Z have been dating since they wrapped Homecoming, stop freaking out over a post clearly made by his publicist”

“I mean it’s the worst scam, Tom looks like royalty next to a tatted gutter rat.”

Holy fuck people were brutal. Tatted gutter rat. 

You felt tears well in your eyes, damn it. 

Tatted gutter rat. 

You laughed, a choked out sob of sorts, “tatted gutter rat,” you giggled.

Jesus.

You were about to exit Twitter, the toxic hell site it is when Tom’s goofy face popped up on your screen, showing that he wanted to FaceTime you.

You quickly hit the green button, shuffling up so your back was against your pillow.

“Hey,” he smiles before taking in your appearance. 

You had a goofy smile but your eyes were red rimmed with tears. 

“What’s wrong princess?” He asks, head resting on his hand. 

“Do I resemble a tatted gutter rat?” You say, struggling to speak between giggles.

“I’m sorry, a what?”

“I’ve been told, haha,” told was a funny word, you were nosy and this is what it got you, “that I resemble a tatted gutter rat.”

“Well let’s see, I haven’t personally seen a gutter rat but I doubt you look like one. And hey, you’re my tatted gutter rat.”

You saw a twinkle in his eyes when he said you were his, making you bite your lip and smile. 

“Wait, who’s saying you’re a tatted gutter rat?”

“Some rando,” you sigh as he runs his hand through his hair. 

“On twitter wasn’t it?”

“Maybe,” you scrunch your face up, you’re a terrible liar.

“You shouldn’t look on there, I sure as hell don’t,” he laughs and you feel a wave of calm rush over you. 

Thud, thud, thud. 

Falling.

“Tom?”

Your mind rushes back to the tattoo shop, his “bye lov-,” that got cut off by your inopportune hang up. Did he- was he saying what you thought he said?

You couldn’t even think it. Because thinking it made it real and, fuck, that scared you. 

Thud thud thud.

“What’s up?” He asks, tilting his head.

Fuck it. Internet fools be damned. 

“I-, remember when I did my first tattoo? On myself?”

“Yeah?” 

“And, I hung up too soon?”

“Oh,” he sighs. 

Oh.

Oh?

You had a hard time telling what type of oh it was, his voice sort of muffled through your overseas connection. 

“You want to know what I was gonna say?”

“Maybe,” you lied again. You did. You really, really did.

“Harry’s right, I’m an idiot for waiting.”

“What?”

“I should’ve, should’ve said it in New York but I don’t know I wasn’t there for long and-,”

“And what?” You ask, arm wrapping around your knees, pulling tight to your chest.

“I was saying, ‘bye love you’.”

You weren’t one to beat around the bush. 

“Just like that?” You feel your lips curl up into a smile.

Thud, thud, thud.

Falling.

“I say it when I’m getting off the phone with family a lot.”

“So it's more just like a phrase you say, not like you meant it or anything.”

Because if he doesn’t say it now, if he avoids it then you can avoid the thundering roar of your heart against your chest, telling you to say it back.

“I usually mean it when I say it to my family, because I do love them, that is.”

His face is scrunched up and he looks a little hurt, bottom lip pouting slightly. 

“So you’re off to Bali soon right?” 

Nothing like a good old conversation change to stop the sinking feeling in your gut.

“I am,” He says, perking up.

And so you talk and talk until you notice his eyes start to droop and his phone slowly slip out of his hand.

You think he’s asleep, his breathing even as your story trails off. 

“Bye love you,” you whisper, voice soft and unsure. Not unsure about loving Tom. That was easy, he understood you, in a way nobody else quite did. He understood your underlying need to be in control quite often, your desire to make people happy through your art, your tendency to not finish movies because you fall asleep, things that individually didn’t really matter, but altogether made you you. 

And you felt comfortable, sharing parts of yourself with him you haven’t with anyone else. 

So saying “bye, love you” on the phone while he was asleep was effortless. 

The part that you were unsure of, the part that scared you the most was the little nagging part in the back of your head that said he didn’t mean it when he said it the first time. 

“Night, love you,” he mumbles as your FaceTime call ends.

Oh.

Thud, thud, thud. 

You fell. 

***

Taglist: @la-bellezaa @tom-hollands-blog @unicornsyy @scarletwidow-shipper @importantfireeaglefish @professional-fandoms

[etuwubrutus]

heartsong is amazing but you already knew that

Heartsong. Is. So. Good.

(Spoilers. duh.)

the beginning of the story, when i thought it was taking place before robbie joined the pack? ended me.

and that was literally just the beginning

ezra was actually a likeable character

and then a really, really unlikable one

i hate to say i didn’t see it coming

‘would you hear me, dear?’

DON’T DO THIS TO MY SON

I LIKED YOU FOR A SECOND, EZRA

i did find something off about that sentence, but damn tj klune knows how to write well

the bridge scene. the bRIDGE SCENE.

“It’s me. Kelly.” “Who?”

THAT HURT WAY TOO MUCH

okay about robbie’s backstory, shit, it was done so well, it explains so much about him. i wish it was brought up more in the rest of the story, but the thought of six-year-old robbie watching his mother die is arguably one of the best scenes in the book

the GLASSES. HIS MOM. IT WAS DONE SO WELL.

i liked kelly? in the first two books. but we never got to see too much of him - he was mostly cold, awkward (still lovable) but seeing him fleshed out like this, being brutally honest about everything and showing anger, fear, hatred really made me love the character more

(i hate to say this but robbie 2.0 > original flavour robbie) don’t @ me

(they’re the same, in the end)

tony! jimmie! john! brodie! daniel! nikki! sonari? the caswell kids are the best, i love them

it was good how they didn’t downplay robbie’s bisexuality

or kelly’s asexuality

or tanner being aro

or jESSIE BEING BI, DOMINIQUE FOR THE WIN

i also love how dominique is described so frankly, like, she’s a woman of colour and is chubby, but she’s also a feral werewolf waitress? representation? yes?

yes i did line break because streams of text make me nervous

so,,, gavin livingstone? the timberwolf?

he’s such a fucking martyr, he and carter were made for each other

and jessie ANDREWS. chris ANDREWS. rico ESPINOZA. i don’t even know why i’m so happy but they finally have last names, guys

robbie’s inner turmoil, his hesitancy to trust anyone, his fits, they were so in character, tj klune hasn’t ever skipped to recovery, and we really got to see the ugly, brutal sides of robbie’s aftermath here

robbie

punched

elizabeth

in

the

face

i don’t know why i’m so shook by this but what guys original flavour robbie would never

also? kelly being human? that’s...i don’t even know how i feel about that.

also, was that part a hint toward jessie becoming a wolf? i am so lost, but in a good way

rico being distrustful of robbie for so long is so understandable and it still hurts that rico would try and trigger him (as a joke) and threaten to kill him (as a joke) because what do you do when the people you care for the most hurt (kill) each other? rico doesn’t know, but he’s learning

also i love rico and bambi they’re such a nice couple

so nice

not violent and terrifying at all

nope

wonder what hell their kid is going to raise

michelle hughes didn’t deserve a redemption-by-death but i honestly see no other way of her becoming a non-antagonizing character.

like

i really hate her

it’s so funny that the pack were used to robbie not wanting to fight or touch them but then robbie 2.0 comes in like ‘fight me bitches’

he instigates so many people in so little time

see this is why i love him

that end chapter? with robbie’s flashbacks? they were AMAZING

so much ship content

so much emotions

so

sad

also, carter (i like him, but i’m not extremely invested in his character) seems to be getting up to stuff. i didn’t expect that stuff in the end, wow carter, you almost pulled a Joe on us

the timberwolf, gavin (what do we call him) is...man i hope he’s okay

also, fuck robert livingstone

serieously

screw him

he can go and die (again, hopefully forever this time)

also i am proud of my son robbie for tearing out his eye, man, he’s one of the best fighters in the pack

also robbie reading shitty romance novels, i can relate (not really) good for him

kelly’s complete and utter love disdain

i’ll probably add to this later but this book was everything

[sitkowskiryan]

His Twins

andrew minyard/aaron minyard/neil josten

ao3

summary: As his head crashed into the ground and the screech of a whistle ricocheted through his skull, Neil realized it was a stupid thing to be thinking about after being tackled by the Gorilla. or Neil gets hurt during a game and his emotionally-stunted twins must care for him

warnings: mention of drake + lola, graphic description of past torture, hurt neil

Neil wondered briefly, as he crumbled to the floor, how many years Gorilla Hawking had failed to continue playing for the Breckenridge Jackals. Neil had three seasons against the mammoth now and it had to have been at least twenty-five by now. The Allison, Dan, and Renee themselves were twenty-three and in their fifth and final year.

As his head crashed into the ground and the screech of a whistle ricocheted through his skull, Neil realized it was a stupid thing to be thinking about after being tackled by the Gorilla. It was an illegal play, one the supersized backliner would get a red card for surely. Neil stared up at the top of the plexiglass, knowing Abby, Andrew, and Kevin would kick his ass if he attempted to move anything right now. His adrenaline was still pumping since he had been in the middle of a play and the only thing that really hurt was his head from the collision of his helmet and the ground.

His hearing was fuzzy, but he could hear Nicky and Matt yelling curse words at the Jackals and Dan attempting to reign them in, yet there was too much anger in her voice. Blond hair entered his vision and his lips twitched in a smile.

"'Drew," he slurred without realizing, reaching out towards the goalkeeper, but foreign hands pushed him back down. The hands were calloused like Andrew's but not in the exact same way. Aaron then.

"Try again, idiot." Aaron's usual playful tone was replaced with the serious doctor voice he took when him and Kate studied together in the room. Neil pouted at the twin as he refused to let Neil up and refused to give Neil his full attention. If he was going to hold him done, at least he could do is show him some affection! He had just gotten mauled after all.

"Aaroonnnn," Neil whined, his fingers twitching so Aaron would look at him. The twin glared at him for moving, but placed a soothing hand on his chest to reassure the striker. Neil grinned at him, proud of himself when Aaron gave him a fond, but annoyed grin. Brunette flooded his face next and the concerned face of Abby filled his vision. His grin remained as she checked him over. Aaron would remark later that he looked like a drugged up Andrew and it had been one of the most terrifying experiences of his life. Next to the Baltimore incident and Neil going to Evermore.

"Neil, can you tell me what hurts?" Abby asked carefully, her eyes scanning over the rest of his body. She could feel the eyes of the entire stadium, but right now all that mattered was Neil and Aaron holding Neil in place.

"Head hurts a lot, not concussed though. I know what that feels like, just winded," Neil offered up, surprisingly lucid even though he had not been a few minutes ago. Abby did not believe him of course without a few tests before deeming him not concussed. She nodded for Aaron to work Neil's helmet off as carefully as he could just in case. The blond followed her instructions, whispering to Neil the entire time. It was random biology facts, but those were easier to focus on than the pain now radiating to his shoulders and his left leg. Aaron passed the helmet off to someone behind him, Matt he would later find out, before going back to holding Neil still. Neil vaguely wondered how they had kept Andrew away for this long. The goalkeeper would have broken the glass with his hands if someone stopped him.

"Where's Drew?" He asked, his blue eyes turning almost frantic as medics came towards them with a stretcher. The logical part of his brain said that this was right, that it was safer for Neil to be carried out on a stretcher, but his head was pounding, his body hurt, and only one of his twins was missing. Neil started to squirm, letting out a cry of pain when he jostled his shoulder. It was his left shoulder then.

"Hey, shh, Drew was sent off to the locker room with Kevin and coach. He is there waiting for us," Aaron attempted to soothe, just as emotionally stunted at his brother was, but something about Neil brought out of the soft and protective sides in both brothers. He kept his face in Neil's line of sight as the medics helped him onto the stretcher, holding his head still until they could put a brace on his neck. Even as they exited the court, the Fox fans cheering for Neil to get better and the Jackals clapping politely for Neil getting off the ground. Sure, he was carried, but he was not dead. Aaron's heart jumped at the thought, walking quickly besides the stretcher.

As the remaining Foxes made their way into the locker room, they could hear shouting and all had no doubt that Andrew was involved in that some how. Aaron did not dare leave Neil's side, helping the medics place him on the gurney. Neil's injuries were not life-ending so he could sit and listen to whatever Wymack wanted from him.

"Andrew! Don't kill the freshman!" Nicky's voice rang through the shouting, a banging sound echoing shortly after. Aaron listened to the rapid footsteps making their way towards him and Neil, three sets of them. Andrew appeared around the corner, taking in Neil's battered body. His hair was damp and he had changed back into his street clothing. Once he took in Neil's injuries, his flat gaze (that hid his concern) shifted to his frazzled twin. Andrew made his way to them, embracing Aaron close. They could not kiss or be as affectionate as they could in their own bedroom, but Andrew allowed his fingers to hold the back of his twin's neck.

"No concussion, but hit his head pretty hard. Winces when both shoulders are touched, but cried out when pressure is put on his left arm. Left leg is broken," Aaron mumbled to Andrew, knowing his twin would most likely not listen to the medics that were hired by the school. The doctors at the hospital, yes, but not school staff that probably had less education than Aaron himself.

"He is scared," Aaron continued, curling his fists at his side. He had never seen Neil scared, not even after Evermore and Baltimore. He always had a mask on. The Neil searching for Andrew and looking like he wanted to hide in Aaron's arms was not the Neil he had been in a relationship with for the last year and it was scary.

"Go get changed, you are coming with us," Andrew replied, pressing his cheek against his brother's for a second before releasing him and taking his position next to Neil. The striker had been dazedly staring at the medic talking to him during their interaction. Those ocean blue eyes flicked over at him, a lazy smile slipping on those lips.

"Drew," he whispered, Andrew letting his hand rest over Neil's armbands, "wanna go home. Columbia home," he pouted, wishing he could move his arms and touch Andrew, but he did not want to test his pain. It would be worth it in his opinion, but Kevin might knock his teeth out. Speaking of Kevin.

"What a fucking imbecile! Attacking you when you did not even have the ball! Dan had the fucking ball!" Kevin began to spit in Japanese, Andrew taking notice that Neil flinched slightly at the language. He could not exactly see Kevin, but he could hear him.

"No Japanese." Andrew growled, Kevin stopping his tirade for a second to see Neil's unsettled look before going back to ranting in English.

"This could ruin your career Neil! What will he think! He'll kill you Neil," Kevin begun to panic, hands going through his sweaty black locks. Andrew wanted to punch that fucking queen piece on his cheek.

"Wow Kevin, are you having sex with Neil too?" Allison remarked, her face stormy as she stared down the striker. Andrew sneered at her. It was amusing to watch Kevin sputter out an answer to her question and Wymack give his son a look of disbelief for his red cheeks. Andrew stepped closer to Neil because no matter how amusing it was, Neil was only allowed to be touched by him and Aaron. No one else.

"Aaron?" Neil hummed, right as the other twin popped around the corner. He only had Neil's bag with him, figuring he would be allowed to change at the hospital and that Nicky would grab their bags and bring them back to the dorm. He moved to the other side of the gurney so Neil could see him. Those blue eyes were hazed over from the medication the medics must have given him, but they still looked sad. They brightened at the sight of Aaron, but not too much.

"Now that we are all here, can you tell us Neil's injuries?" Wymack asked the medics, Andrew and Aaron paying more attention to Neil for the moment since the doctor would have actual answers and not speculations of the medics.

"We believe he has some type of head injury, his focus is off and his words are slurring a bit. Both of his shoulders are strained, but his left one is either broken or dislocated," Wymack and Kevin both inhaled sharply at that information. Neil would be out for the rest of the fall season, at least. "His left leg is broken at the ankle, the other must have landed on it in the fall, the specifics will have to be decided by a doctor after tests."

"Okay." Wymack nodded, turning to face all of his Foxes. "It will be rough gang, with Neil injured, but we will make it. We have won with less players than now. Robin, will you be alright with playing the rest of the second half or should Renee step in?" Andrew's recruit looked a bit nervous, never playing a full half before, but she was also determined. She would prove herself.

"Great. Now you idiots," he looked over at Andrew and Aaron, both with their masks of indifference on their faces. The only part of them that showed emotion was their hands wrapped around Neil's arms to reassure the striker they were still there. "Get him to the hospital and don't let him do anything stupid," with that, Wymack led the rest of the Foxes from the locker room, all the older members looking at their younger brother in worry and wishing him well. Andrew was sure that Neil's bedside would be surrounded in an hour when the game was over.

"Now, which of you will be riding with him?" The medic ask, the twins looking at Neil. Much to their surprise the question seemed to rise more fear in the striker, his blue eyes staring between them. Neil had always felt weird choosing between Aaron and Andrew, which is why he ended up dating both. He did not want to hurt the other's feelings if he chose one brother over another. In his fragile state, the decision seemed even more detrimental than normal and almost brought him to tears.

Andrew, the overall dominant in the relationship, quickly made a decision for his idiot.

"I'll take my car, since Aaron can't drive for shit," he answered in a bored tone, his chest swelling with something he had come to think of as love when Neil's tears did not overflow and he gave him a grateful look. Aaron looked appreciative by his decision as well. Andrew knew his brother a lot better than Aaron thought and had known that Aaron had been shaken by watching Neil getting taken down.

Andrew on the other hand had seen Neil at his lowest, had seen his Evermore and Baltimore scars as they were days old. Aaron, of course, had seen the same scars, but had not seen the carnage of the fresh ones or felt Neil's flesh peel off with the gauze the FBI agent had placed over his mutilated face. Aaron also had nightmares still about the whole Drake thing, whether it memories of watching Andrew under the monster or the feel of the Exy racquet killing him, Andrew and Neil had no idea. Only that he woke up in tears and would only sleep if cradled between the two with Neil humming.

Aaron would never come out and say that he wanted to go with Neil more than he wanted to drive the Maserati alone. Andrew honestly did not want his brother alone in his car when he was like this.

"Come on sir," Andrew took Neil's bag from Aaron and  gave him a reassuring look. Andrew wanted to take them back home and care for his junkie himself, but he unfortunately did not how to cast a leg and Aaron might jump off a bridge if they put Neil's shoulder back into place themselves.

"Behave Junkie," Andrew murmured to Neil, watching him smile tiredly as the medics rolled him out of the room, Aaron speed walking next to them. Andrew let out a tense breath, longing for a cigarette. He had promised Bee and Aaron however and would keep his word.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

With all the game traffic, it took Andrew close to an hour to get to the hospital. He growled in annoyance as he practically stomped into the hospital and up to the desk.

Aaron had texted him twenty minutes ago to tell him he had gone with Neil's boyfriend so Andrew would not be able to use that excuse to get in. He had also been updated that Neil tried to convince the doctor to just give him whiskey and pop his arm back into place and then had to be sedated because he attempted to do it himself. While he was sedated, the doctor put his arm back in place and immobilized it and casted his left foot. Aaron had chosen orange for the color knowing that Neil's junkie heart would love it. Andrew was going to break his brother's neck.

"Neil Josten," He told the nurse, his face conveying that he could careless about being cordial right now. He needed to be with his idiots right now. The nurse clucked her tongue at his rudeness, typing something in the computer.

"Relation?" Her voice was annoying, like Sheena's. He definitely did not want to deal with her any longer.

"I'm his brother, I brought him clothes," he replied, gesturing to the bag on his shoulder. She gave him a dirty look and took way too long to give him the room number that he had already been given by Aaron, now forty minutes ago. Andrew gave her his two finger salute before making his way towards the room.

He knocked his knuckle on the door before entering, his heart clenching at the sight before him. Neil was fast asleep, or knocked out, and Aaron was his right side holding his good hand. The eye-sore orange cast was elevated and the dislocated shoulder was in a sling rested on Neil's chest. Aaron looked up as he entered, his vision blurry. His hair was messy from his fingers running through it in worry.

"He is such an idiot," Aaron started, tilting his head up as Andrew walked closer to him, placing the bag on the floor next to the bed. Andrew ran his fingers through Aaron's already messy hair, tilting his head back a bit further.

"Yes or no?" He asked quietly, staring back into familiar hazel eyes that were copies of his own.

"Yes," Aaron answered, playing along with Andrew and Neil's Yes or No agreement even though they had all grown comfortable with touches and kisses. The only time that the agreement really mattered was with actual sex and bad days. Andrew pressed their lips together, in a strange Spiderman like kiss, his fingers stroking along Aaron's cheeks. He frowned feeling the cool streaks down his cheeks, tears that had not been wiped off, but dried a while ago. He pulled away, letting his concern show on his face.

"After about thirty minutes, right after he got sedated, he wanted you and had freaked out because you were not here yet. He was convinced that Drake and Lola had gotten you. The doctor said it was a reaction from the drugs, but he was so scared, Drew," Aaron whimpered, tilting his head down to kiss Neil's knuckles. Andrew stared between the two, his heart clenched in pain that he had not been here when Neil needed him and his brother had to see Neil like that.

"When he can leave, we will go home, Columbia home, and I won't leave either of you," Andrew let his true feelings out, something Bee had been working with him privately about. Aaron nodded his head, leaning his head into Andrew's stomach as they both watched over Neil.

It was thirty or so minutes before Neil woke up from the sedation, already calling for his twins. He was overjoyed when both appeared in his line of sight. Even drugged, he had seen the tear tracks on Aaron's face and bullied the twin into the bed with him so he could hold him. Andrew watched on as the two people he cared about most consoled each other, his presence protecting them both from any danger that could both them.

"Can I dress you, Yes or No?" Andrew asked, ducking down to grab some of Neil's clothes to change him into. They had to cut his uniform off of him earlier and he was still in his compression shorts from the game and probably felt disgusting down there.

"Course, 'Drew," Neil mumbled, letting Aaron help him up gently. The twin pressed a kiss to his temple before maneuvering him to the edge of the bed so they could easily get his legs in his clothes. Andrew stepped forward as well, working around his brother who was holding Neil up carefully.

Andrew got the sticky shorts off, shoving them into his bag to be cleaned later. He helped Neil into some boxers followed by sweatpants. A shirt was more difficult, the doctor had left him shirtless since Neil's arm was hard to work around. Andrew helped him into a tank top, both brother whispering reassuringly when Neil let out a whimper.

The two of them helped Neil back into the bed. Aaron sat on the bed with Neil, Andrew taking the free seat. Neil curled up to Aaron's side, his fingers tangled with Andrew's. It was quiet for all of ten seconds before the upper class Foxes came bursting through the door. Neil did not even more from Aaron, though he did let Andrew's hand go since he knew how much he liked his bad boy image.

"Oh my poor baby!" Nicky started to fuss, coming over to Neil's left side and looking over him to ensure his shoulder was back in place as if the doctor would not have done that in the last two hours since Neil has been here. Neil rolled his eyes at Nicky, poking his tongue out at Kevin. The 'Son of Exy' opened his mouth and Andrew reached for his knives.

"Say something about Exy and I will hit you with a bedpan," Neil, surprisingly threatened, causing Nicky, Matt, and Dan to let out loud laughs. Renee, Allison, and Abby were all snickering and Wymack as always look unamused.

"Says the junkie," Andrew commented, flicking Neil's hand where he came to rest on Aaron's hip. He smirked when the junkie flipped him the bird, secretly glad that he was back in better spirits.

"I get unlimited cuddles which outranks Exy," Neil sighed happily, burrowing closer in Aaron's stomach for emphasize. Aaron's ears turned red, but he did not move Neil away at all. He had an image as well, but he was willing to bet that if Neil wanted, Andrew would cuddle him as well.

"Definitely still drugged," Aaron teased, his fingers stroking the side of Neil's neck like he enjoyed. The striker practically purred as he leaned in Aaron's touch.

The Foxes passed the remainder of the hospital stay talking about the game and Aaron filling them in on why Neil was sedated. Most had gotten pale in the face at the thought of Neil putting his own arm back into place. Before long they were all getting back into their respective cars and heading to Columbia. Neil had convinced Andrew to let the rest of the Foxes come to their home, seeing as they would not leave them alone otherwise. Whenever Neil got hurt, it was hard for them to be away from Neil.

Neil was too tired to use his crutches so Andrew put his goal keeper  muscles to work and carried him from the Maserati into the house. Much like after Baltimore, Neil was in the middle of all of them, his injured leg and arm rested on pillows. With Neil's injured left side, the twins had to find a new sleep arrangement.

They settled for Aaron curled around Neil's right leg, head pillowed on his stomach. Andrew slept up by Neil's head, arm under the auburn head and other tangled in Aaron's hair. His twin was pressed between his legs and Neil's. It was not the weirdest positions they had slept in by far.

Matt and Dan slept close to Neil on his other side, Nicky's head rest next to his, their pillows pressed together. Kevin was curled with Nicky surprisingly and Allison and Renee was curled up next to them, Renee closest to Andrew. Wymack and Abby were asleep on the couch together, the former claiming he was too old to sleep on the floor.

Neil waited until he was sure that everyone else was asleep before leaning up to press his lips to Andrew's.

"Love you," he slurred, his medicine and tiredness starting to set in. He would probably sleep longer than all of them for the first time. He reached down with his good hand to stroke Aaron's jaw.

"You too," he hummed, smiling as lips pressed against his hip and his forehead. The twins would say the words out loud, just not with others around and Neil accepted that. He fell asleep with a smile on his face and the loves of his life curled around him with his family nearby

And if he woke up to Abby scolding Nicky for drawing a dick on his cast and Andrew doodling a knife on it, it was one of the best ways to wake up.

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yes, i know they are brothers please don't comment it! but i love the three of them together and aaron (while an asshole) does not get enough love! plus i keep thinking of this at night and needed to write it! i also keep dreaming of jean with a child and they both show up at the foxhole court and neil has some interactions with a child and andrew 'heart eyes' minyard does not know what to do with himself! let me know if you want to read that one!

i hope you guys enjoy!

would you guys like me to post my stories here again? 

[staliasjeronica]

Riverdale 3.01 Thoughts *spoilers*

- the kids... are JUNIORS? Uh okay.

- VERONICA. MY LOVE. MY BABY. IN A POP’S OUTFIT!!!

- still iffy about Betty being in law... like where’d it come from? Her likeness of it? It’s probably just because of Archie’s trial and the fact that she constantly breaks the law, but still... it seemed to come out of nowhere

- In the narration he talked about Archie, Betty, and Veronica being the “best friends you’ll ever have” and I’m just stating that that means that Jeronica are officially best friends! Y E S BITCH!

- did this bitch seriously just call Nick St. Claire... INNOCENT? And brought up the fact that he pulled a gun on Sweet Pea? I’ve always wanted that confrontation but NOT LIKE THIS.

- MARY ANDREWS! A fucking legend! Her speech was incredible, too. Like, if I was a Riverdale resident and didn’t know Archie, I would definitely believe that he was innocent. But of course something stupid like Archie being a dumbass (love you though, Arch) is going to fuck everything up 🙄🙄🙄

- JOSIE AND KEVIN STANDING SIDE BY SIDE IS ALL I NEEDED!!! I can’t wait to see more of them as step siblings and shit. Maybe she can convince Kevin not to get with Moose lmao I hate him so fucking much

- HIRAM YOU DO NOT GET TO FUCKING TALK TO ARCHIE YOU LITTLE BITCH

- I’VE SEEN SPOILERS SO I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE FRED PUNCH A BITCH

- As amazing as that was though... THAT WOULDN’T HELP ARCHIE’S CASE IT WOULD MAKE IT WORSE!!!

- lmao Hiram gets angry and pushes the guy who kept him from getting back at Fred as if he didn’t start it what a bitch

- dilton and Ben... are really gonna die aren’t they. This is a Midge situation— bring them back to kill them wow... also why does Dilton look like he could be Sweet Pea’s younger brother...

- so both Veronica and Jughead got chocolate shakes. I’m not saying they’re soulmates... but they’re soulmates and I don’t care what Camila says about Jeronica... they’re meant to be together oops

- CHERYL MY BISEXUAL/LESBIAN QUEEN!!!! MAKING HER FUCKING ENTRANCE!

- but it’s so sad that she made the effort to invite all of them to her party but they couldn’t make an exception to couples weekend... like I know it helped Cheryl get with Toni but that’s just... sad.

- ALSO CHERY’S JACKET IM WHEEZING CALL AN AMBULANCE

- of course Choni had three months of development but we won’t see it 🙃🙃🙃

- can’t really hear what Alice and Polly are really saying... but I definitely heard Alice say “ritual” and you never hear that word unless you’re in a cult wake the fuck up alice you can’t be more fucked up than Betty and Polly you need to help save them

- Dr. Glass... therapist? Mmhm but wouldn’t they tell her that she’s too reliant and co-dependent on Jughead and hopefully break them up? I call bullshit on this therapist

- BARCHIE + FRED WORKING ON A CAR TOGEHER WOW WE LOVE A FUTURE ENDGAME BEING HOT ASS MECHANICS TOGETHER WITH HER FUTURE FAMILY

- “we did it dad” the way he said this... might have made me choke... it was so happy and excited, like a kid. I’m NOT CRYING OKAY

- “just in time” *Fred immediately avoids eye contact with Archie before stating he’s going back into the house* BITCH HE’S GOING IN THERE TO CRY HUH LIKE HE’S THINKING ABOUT HIS SON GOING TO JAIL THIS IS HORRIBLE.

- “the jury is still deliberating, you don’t need to put your house in order” Betty... it’s called JUST IN CASE. Plus it would ease his mind so... shut up lmao

- THE TEARS IN RONNIE’S EYES AS SHE’S CONFRONTING HER FATHER BBY NOOOO

- ALSO SHE HAS TO LIVE UNDER THE SAME ROOF AS HIM IM SO SORRY SWEETIE GO LIVE WITH JUG OR MOVE IN WITH FRED! She doesn’t deserve this you bitch ass Hiram

- also I’m sad that Hiram doesn’t have a bruise from Fred punching him

- I’ll say it until I die but I’m just gonna say it now: HIRAM IS A BITCH ASS HOE! He literally destroyed Archie’s life and devastated his daughter... all for a fucking P R I S O N

- SWEET PEA AND FANGS HAVE OFFICIALLY BLESSED MY SCREENS YAY. Also Fangs your bisexual ass is showing with that extremely open shirt... and Sweet Pea... you fucking too lmao I love Swangs (no hate but I’m also kinda here for Swosie even though it’s just a fling)

- it’s... so annoying... that Hiram is with the Ghoulies, yet makes out the Serpents to be the worst. Like Hiram your bought gang members are cannibals (apparently), and are the ACTUAL gang that sells and distributes Jingle Jangle soooo wtf

- Jug... you can’t send Fangs without backup. I REPEAT YOU CANNOT SEND FANGS WITHOUT SOME BACKUP! He got shot once and I swear if he’s hurt again I’m going to end you. I only care about certain people: Sweet Pea, Fangs, Cheryl, Toni, Veronica, and Archie... so if you get one of them hurt you’re dead to me

- we all been knew that Archie’s tattoo was fake but LOOK AT FP IN GLASSES I’M

- I love Betty with these outfits. They’re really nice tbh

- Alice... you can’t burn SOMEONE ELSE’S JOURNAL! Also yeah it’s filled with negative shit but that’s why it’s written in journals... to vent and get it over with.

- also if you have to reference someone (Edgar) every sentence you know you’re probably too reliant on them

- although what Alice says about sitting still and shit is kinda true I guess. Betty doesn’t need to be constantly figuring shit out but I’ll just pretend I never agreed with the woman in a fucking cult

- is Polly gonna tell her about her Betty’s “darkness” because PLEASE(or the webcamming). When Alice gets better she can call Betty out on her shit.

- Cheryl’s a queen, I love her place, but Moose is here so uhhhh ew.

- SWOSIE BITCHES!!!! I saw gifs of it and I love it

- “not even a tall, cool drink of sweet water like you...” as she STROKES HIS FUCKING CHEST I’M

- but he was so happy and cute “I can’t wait to see you in the hallways”

- BITCH SWEET PEA IS A ROMANTIC WHAT

- the way he leans back into the kiss is everything, and the way he watches her leave I’m star struck goodbye

- you give me Swosie just to immediately go to Mevin? You couldn’t have gone to another couple at least? Don’t ruin the moment ugh

- Kevin... is proposing... a sex pact? Wtf? But Moose looks so uncomfortable, which I find actually pretty sad. Kevin wants someone who’s out, who isn’t afraid to be with him in public and that person isn’t Moose. He was really happy with Joaquin and now that he knows why Joaquin was slightly distant there’ll be no secrets between them so... bring Joaquin back so Joavin can rise again you cowards! Moose needs to find himself, but he shouldn’t bring Kevin with him. He needs to go through this by himself.

- mmhm Reggie not giving a damn about Archie’s (fake) Serpent tattoo... I want to see Reggie apologize to the Serpents (and also find out that Sweet Pea is his brother oops)

- oh Bc Archie asks Reggie’s cool with the Serpents. I DEFINITELY need an apology right fucking now, Mantle.

- “whatcha thinking bout, babe?” BABE. B A B E. BABE BABE BABE BABE BABE BABE BABE

- I have subtitles on and it says “Tee-Tee” NO ITS T-T (or just TT)

- poor Cheryl 😭😭😭

- but also why the fuck is there a couch outside by the pool lmao

- Veronica is constantly about to cry and I’m... with her. I’m gonna cry too STAWP

- YAS JOSIE!!!!

- dilton... we were all excited to see you again but now you’re just being a creepy weirdo so...

- FANGS MY BBY

- UMMMMMM LEAVE HOTDOG ALONE

- lmao Betty seems so out of place at this little Serpent meeting... she really does not belong there

- “the Serpent Queen is a Warrior queen” the next fucking sentence better be Toni or Sweet Pea shutting her the fuck down. If she was a “Serpent Queen” she would ACTUALLY TRULY care about the Serpents instead of joining so she can stay closer to Jughead and shit

- Sweet Pea slightly shook his head in the background so I’m just gonna... pretend he told Betty to shut the fuck up

- Betty’s gonna fuck everything up and then blame it on someone else isn’t she

- Awww Archie overhearing his parents talking about Archie and the trial. “Even I couldn’t stop Hiram Lodge from getting his claws into our son” STAWP 😭😭😭

- Archie thinks that he deserves this? Bitch BETTY is the one who’s done actual (okay well the worst crimes of the group) crimes but her bitch ass isn’t going to jail! She never gets any repurcussions. If anyone deserves going to jail it’s Betty

- Sheriff Minetta... no one misses you

- Betty has her own Serpent jacket... I mean thanks I hate it but I also hate to admit that she looks actually good in it. Still doesn’t deserve to be a Serpent she’s done nothing for them except bone their “leader”

- lmao Cheryl is strong af pushing Betty back into the car.

- Jughead... do you seriously think they’re going to let you leave with Hot Dog? Lmao maybe you do deserve Betty you two are both idiots

- YASSS CHERYL FUCK MALACHAI UPPPPP

- this weird dream of Archie’s was pretty cool. I was confused for a second but still it was really awesome

- of course the one thing Betty ACTUALLY needs and she lies about it. Also, add forging prescriptions to her list of criminal offenses. Can you just once write Betty to be likable? When she comforted Veronica was great (although still need an apology from her) but that Serpent queen line... omfg no

- although they’re a part of a fucking cult Polly is making some great points.

- YOUNGBLOOD BY 5SOS!!

- So... despite being invited by Cheryl to her party they don’t invite her or anyone else to the fucking water hole place? Wtf

- “last one in gets a sticky maple!” That’s... kind of rude considering what Chuck did to Veronica. Speaking of where is Chuck? Did they start that redemption ark for NOTHING? Also the statement is worse when V is the last to jump in...

- wow look at Varchie being the hottest couple (there. The hottest couple is obviously Choni)

- Jughead you’re not supposed to burn the marshmallows

- JUGHEAD YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL ARCHIE TO MAKE A RUN FOR IT YOU STUPID FUCK

- YES BETTY! GET SOME FUCKING HELP

- If Jughead supports this, they will finally being going in a good direction? For once? Like if you’re going to force this disgusting ship on us at least make them healthy and tolerable

- I hate them but the beanie scene was cute. Probably because Cole actually improvised that

- When Varchie’s scene was still much better, hotter, and aesthetic than Betty and Jughead’s lmao thank you Riverdale

- why do they make Varchie cuter when they’re going to end them? This is bullshit

- hey maybe if they make Betty and Jughead cuter (cause let’s be honest they’ve had like two cute scenes that I’ll admit to lol) they’ll end their relationship too

- VEGAS

- what the fuck dilton lol

- “we can talk about this when I get back” wow that’s a surefire way to make sure that Dilton dies

- like I said Archie does something stupid and ruins EVERYTHING.

- Archie... if you’re FIGHTING FOR YOUR LIFE no one FUCKING cares that they’d have to go through this shit again. I love you but you’re stupid as fuck

- Veronica 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

- ARCHIE’S LAST WORDS WILL BE “I love you, Veronica” IM SOBBING

- Veronica’s look to Hiram is lethal and I’m here for it.

- Honestly... if they somehow manage to make this about Betty I’ll scream because we all know Betty has to be interwoven into every plot

- DADS OF RIVERDALE FUCK YEAH

- ALL OF THEM WORKING TOGETHER? YES BITCH

- AND VERONICA STILL HAS TO GO HOME WITH HIRAM?

- honestly though why didn’t they make her testify awhile ago? They said it was too late but her statement would help? She LIVES with the man, she could easily tell them about how much of a master manipulator he is like... what the fuck

- literally Veronica just wear a wire around Hiram so you can implicate him. He legit just told you that he did all of this to get back at you for choosing him over blood (also wow so healthy)

- “you don’t have a daughter anymore” we love and stan Veronica

- so... Jug shouldn’t have gone alone but uhh Dilton is fucking dead

- um what the fuck is with the babies... and also why is Betty convulsing? Probably gonna be blamed on the supernatural instead of her Adderral. (Also I just reached the limit of this holy fuck lmao)

[blaperile]

Homestuck Epilogues - Meat - Page 3

Live reaction to page 3 of the Meat Epiloge beneath the Read More.

Let's see if my theory was correct that the next page will show John's first stop on his new journey... Let's see if he indeed ends up in the B2 session just prior to the events of [S] GAME OVER taking place or if there's some kind of psyche!

==>

Yessss, we're indeed following John again!

"It takes you a moment to recognize where you are, even though Rose’s instructions were very specific. A place bright and gaudy and filled with the stench of teenage ennui."

Well, that explains basically nothing. :P

"It’s your old living room on the gold battleship, where you spent three years caught up in a lot of weird, furry romantic drama while learning to unlove everything you once held sacred."

Oh man, on the Prospitian Battleship!

Well, that's indeed on LOMAX like I theorized earlier, though not the exact spot I was imagining. I was imagining it would have been on a place featuring both John and Rose, when they'd all just met up on LOMAX.

Well, alright then. In that case, the question is: when is this taking place? Is this indeed around the time of [S] GAME OVER, or is it sometime earlier?

I mean, if for some reason he had to go back all the way to the 3-year trip, "punch her in the face" could still account for Jade or Nannasprite, but I highly doubt it. :P

Then that leaves indeed my original theory... Aranea! The question is, does he need to punch her HERE, or was the battleship just an anchoring point for John now to leave and go outside to LOMAX or something?

Because if John does have to punch her here... then it seems like this will be taking place IMMEDIATELY after Aranea just got turned back to life! So just prior to when she could set all her plans into motion, well, other than having Gamzee deliver the ring to her.

Which reminds me... Gamzee will be here too then! Oh man, but if John punches Aranea in the face HERE... then Aranea will lose her concentration and lose control over Gamzee right? Which would allow him to break free far earlier than he originally did... Oh dear.

"Years that, technically speaking, never even happened, now that you think of it. You have the very retcon powers that just brought you back here to thank for that."

I was kind of confused what he meant here, but yeah, he's actually referring to his post-retcon self who never actually spent much time here. It doesn't really refer to himself of course, who did spend 3 years on that ship, with the pre-retcon version of Jade.

"You barely have time to take in the sick, nostalgic feeling that all the globes and Tangle Buddies and avant-garde mime art evokes. The fridge pops open and out roll Aranea and Gamzee. Gamzee honks and his codpiece jiggles ominously"

OH SNAP, HERE THEY ARE!!!! It's indeed this EXACT moment!

Oh boy... where is this gonna go???

I mean, if John punches Aranea, then what? What does he need to do next? Simply go find his friends, round them up, and go after Lord English?

"Aranea staggers to her feet, looking rather pleased with herself. Until she notices you and gapes in bewilderment. ARANEA: What are you doing here?!"

And here we go!!! Right then and there this version of Aranea's plan falls completely into the water.

"You make a fist, and sort of flinch and look away when you do it. No matter how many years you’ve spent living on a planet with absolute gender parity, this feels wrong. Still, you hit Aranea pretty fucking hard, underestimating your own strength just as badly as you did the last time you clobbered a hapless Serket. She goes flying back, hits the couch, and KOs instantly into a pile of Smuppets."

I love how this description makes it perfectly clear just what a normal Homestuck panel would be portraying right here. As in, the often reused image of someone punching someone else in the face, sending them sliding (Kanaya with Vriska, Vriska with Andrew, John with Vriska...)

"You then take her wrist in your hand, slide the ring off her finger"

WHOA HOLD THE FUCK ON THERE.

John's REMOVING the Ring of Life from Aranea... this means we're instantly going to get an answer to the million dollar question everyone's been asking for a long time: what happens if the Ring of Life is removed from a person who was revived from the dead?

It was made deliberately unclear in the Game Over timeline whether removing the Ring of Life from Aranea would have sufficed for The Condesce to kill Aranea or not.

And we've never known if technically Calliope could be capable of removing the ring and staying alive.

So that's something we're probably gonna find out right now!!!

Also, I have a feeling that by the time John turns around to address Gamzee, the clown's already gone running.

Next question to ask by the way: what will John do with the Ring of Life???? It's not gonna be used for Aranea NOR for Calliope this time around, so who will it belong to now? Did Rose have a plan for that?

"> Isn’t there something you’re forgetting?"

GAMZEE FUCKING MAKARA. DON'T TURN YOUR BACK ON HIM.

"Gamzee stares up at you with his horrible, limpid eyes. There’s something serene, sinister, and sensual all at once about the look he’s laying on you"

Phew, he hasn't gone running yet!

But... huh? So he hasn't snapped out of the mindcontrol yet?

Also, yeah, I can imagine exactly what look he's making right now, the one he continuously made while under mind control.

"Do everyone a favor and put an end to his preposterous narrative relevance."

UUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHMMMMM

Jooooooohn

You're not going to do what I think you're gonna do, right? This is going to fail spectacularly, right?

"You wisely decide that this clown will lend nothing valuable to the narrative whatsoever if he is allowed to remain outside of your childhood refrigerator."

Pffff, okay. So he decided to do the same thing that Vriska did to him in the post-retcon timeline.

"He goes easily, issuing only a pair of weak honks in protest. You slam the fridge shut and resolve to never think about Gamzee Makara again."

...Really? That's gonna be the last of him?

I...I'm not even sure. They kind of did that exact thing in the post-retcon timeline, but the question is if that's gonna work this time. :P

"> Zap to the next plot point."

Wait whaaaaat? So John's not staying here in this moment?

Where the hell is he off to next? This is kind of like Terezi's retcon quest for John all over again.

Okay, I really got no clue where John's going next. But it seems like all he truly needed from this timeframe was the Ring of Life!

I do wonder if we're at some point gonna go back to this new retconned timeline however. Does John perhaps need to change some other factors about the original pre-retconned timeline?

But wow, that was the end of this page! This was a short one.

I bet that next page we'll be back to stuff happening on Earth C? Kind of like how during John's retcon quest with Terezi we also kept switching to stuff in the Dreambubbles.

I wonder if we're gonna continue with Karkat's run for presidency, or if we're gonna get a look at someone else now.

[useraew]

Broken Veins c1

Sweet pea x Oc Venom Becker 

The echoes of children clowning around kept annoying me as i strolled down the street. The voices in my head were telling me i was known by no one anymore. I used to think about what life was like before the violence,before the pain, and before the madness my own father brought to the world. I’ve always thought i had delusions since i was a little girl. The emptiness that i brought on to myself made me weaker, it’s what built my anger at a young age. I’m used to being known as the big mouth, always having to find myself eating alone. I was never the person anyone cared for or wanted. I was named most arrogant by how vain i seem.

Wrapping my arms around myself as i walked into the school that i dried everyday, the moment as the door opened i came face to face with the same group of people i disliked since ever. Veronica glared at me as i turned the corner and out of her view. I really disliked the way she always acted. A part of me believes she thinks she’s above everyone else, she has the money,the clothes, she thinks only of herself through my eyes. The bell alert brought me out of my thoughts as i found my way to history.

My seat being in the last row, made me be able to see clearly from the back. The class was finishing class presentations on the cold war. Luckily for myself i had gone on the first day passed with flying colors. I watched as my teacher Mrs. Lynn called up Veronica to the front. Veronica’s voice made me cringe as well grow tired as i tried to listen to her words. The window distracted me from Veronica as i observed a tree, the pretty leaves started to fall as the figure of sweet pea came in my view.  

Sweet pea was like rage in my eyes. He had fire in him, it thrilling to see a guy like himself in my presence. My own mind wondered if he knew what pain feels like and if he thought of himself as a weapon like me. Both of us could be weapons that don’t weep. I’ve never really uttered any real words to him but my  psyche was drawn by himself. 

“Okay thank you Miss.Lodge” As my eyes moved from the window, my hands formed together and started clapping. “I’m clapping because it’s over” once my words fell out, i got another glare from Veronica which made me smirk. “Miss.Becker this isn’t the time for your nonsense” I laughed at Mrs.Lynn as i positioned myself straighter in my chair. “But it’s always time for my nonsense Mrs.Lynn, besides i enjoy watching Lodge annoyed”. I was awarded with a chuckle from some of my classmates. 

During the rest of class i was basically looking at the ceiling and praying for the bell to ring. In the corner of my presence i could sense someone. My attention was towards sweet pea he didn’t just look at me, it was like he was more than observing me but his eyes were studying me as if i were a subject. I watched his lips as i examined the form of them. Thoughts of kissing him appeared and disappeared from my own mind. Imagining him in my arms was a daily image that would emerge in my dreams. 

Once the bell finally alerted us students, i gladly walked out and left for my locker. The locker made a little sound as it slowly opened wide. Placing my book back in i could hear the voice of Veronica come in from around the corner. “Becker” I turned around already hating this new conversation i didn’t want to be a part of, “Your highness” I bowed at her as she rolled her eyes. As her hand was put on the locker, she pulled my body against the locker as i grew confused. “Wow,Lodge i didn’t know you were into girls?” She gasp at me as she stepped back. 

“I clearly don’t like girls Becker” I laughed at her words as i noticed Archie coming over to our side. “Hay, Archie you better keep your bitch on a lease” I watched as Archie pulled Veronica away from me. “Stop being a bitch Venom” I shook my head at the boy and as he left I was able to say one more thing. “Queen Bitch Archie remember that” Pointing my fingers like a gun in his direction as he left.

 I gave out a mumble at the thought of Archie and Veronica. "Ugh" the sound of my locker closing and within not a moment later a new voice appeared. "You hate Andrews as much as me?" I gave out a chuckle as sweet pea leaned against my locker. I nodded at sweet pea as I was amazed by his face. He looked pretty up close from my view. "I'm surprised that anyone even likes him" I got a grin from sweet pea as he found assessment from my comment.

My feet found it’s way down the hallway, the presence of sweet pea was still visible to my sight. I paused as i looked up at sweet pea wondering why he was still next to me. “can i help you?” He gave out a awkward head scratch as his eyes looked away from mine. “sorry venom i just was wondering if you were free saturday?” I mumbled a yeah under my breath and shook my head at the boy. “Great do you wanna go out with me?” “uh sure” Sweet pea grinned as i walked into the art room. 

The study hall room i was supposed to go to next period was in the art room. My seat was in the front for a change, sitting and grabbing my phone i started to play some games. I couldn’t believe that sweet pea actually asked me out, i think i only said yes was because he put me on the spot so i didn’t want hurt his feelings, but who am i kidding i generally like him so of course i was going to say sure to him. It was my first real conversation with him which leaves me with questions i’ll save for later. 

As the bell went off again, i saw the Riverdale Prison come up on my phone. Their was only one person that i knew who would be calling me and that was my dad. He did a lot of bad things when i was younger and it hurt me to see him leave but honestly it’s better this way. My finger hit answer as the other students left. “Hello” “My beautiful daughter how are you?” I cringed that the sound of his voice. 

I looked out the window and tired to take in deep breathes. “Better knowing you’re not in my life”  I took a gulp in as i heard foot movement in the room, i ignored it as i continued to speak.  “If mom knew you were calling me she’d kill your ass” “god vee stop please stop being mad at what i did years ago” “how can i stop being mad when i wake up every god damn morning and all i see is you ruining my life, fuck you and don’t call me” As i hung up on him, i noticed all the serpents looking at me. My bag over my shoulders as i pull in my chair. I loose eye contact with everyone especially sweet pea. 

My anger got the better of me, as i slammed the art door shut. Tears started to form in my eyes as i walked down the hallway. Opening the door that leads me outside so i can take a break and breathe. I knew i had a box of cigarettes left in my bag. One single cigarette was placed in my mouth as my other hand had the lighter. The light shined as i exhaled in, as the smoke left my mouth i felt at ease.    

xxx

@reewrites @bettycoopr @southside-sweets 

[xiii-jb-46]

She's mine

1700+ words

Sweet pea x reader

I walk inside my boyfriends house with the key he gave me and the football jersey I need to give back. I was hesitant to give it back but I had it for a week and he needed for his football games.

Archie?" I walk the stairs and saw his bedroom door was open. I went in and placed his Football Jersey on his desk near his bat he keeps near him at all times.

I look at his bed and notice another figure. I knew who it was based on the clothes on the ground and the pearl necklace on his shelf. I knew deep down he would have done this. Everyone knew I was just a rebound for him breaking up with Veronica but I had hoped he never done this.

"Archie you asshole!" I yell with tears rolling down my cheek. He doesn't bother to wake up so I do something I will never regret. I broke Veronica's Pearl necklace and smashed his trophy he won just yesterday with his bat.

"What the hell Y/N!" Veronica yells at me.

"Shouldn't have cheated on me, Archie." I walk off down the stairs and saw his guitar. I thought for a while. Am I that crazy?

"Yes, yes I am." I grabbed the guitar and walk with out to his front lawn. Wait for his door to open and their he was scared for his gutiar.

"Don't do it. I'm sorry okay. Please forgive!" I gave him a gulity but followed it with a chuckle.

"No." I swing the guitar up and smash it down on the grass. The cracking sound of the wood could be heated from a few houses down.

"No!" Archie yells as I continued to smash his gutiar.

"You crazy bitch! " Veronica yells at me with anger. She stomps her way to me as I chucked his gutiar at Archie,"Only because you're Jugheads sister I won't tear you apart piece by piece right now."

"Stop acting like your the victim." I walk away letting my feet carry me. I almost get near the tracks when I hear the sound of a motorcycle engine roar closer to me.

"Hey princess." I look to my side to see sweet pea driving beside me.

"What do you want?"

"Jughead got word of what Andrews did to you. He texted me to find you while he deals with Andrews." I nod at Jugheads plan.

"You've found me now can you leave. I want to be alone."

"No can do princess. You see I was also told to protect you on your way home so I can't leave you. Plus why would I let a beautiful girl like you walk the streets of Southside in broad daylight." I chuckle a little but still the pain of what Archie did still linger I my heart.

"I know what he did. Jughead was pretty pissed too. He wouldn't stop rambling on and on about how he is going to kill Archie for hurting his baby sister." I laugh at the thought of Jughead trying to beat Archie up.

"Do wanna know what's the worse part about it?" He nods still driving next to me.

"I knew it was gonna happen and I knew I should've left him but I loved Archie and that kept me with him. I knew I was only a rebound, a toy." I hear his engine stop and I turn around.

"No one should be treated that way. Every girl should be treated like a princess." I look at him and he looks at me.

"Let's go get some food at pops." I nod looking at his bike.

"Ever rode on a bike before." I nod hoping on the back.

"Hold tight then." I wrap my arms around his waist as he drove off to pops.

When we got there only few people were there. "Vanilla swirl and salted caramel milkshake with fries and a hamburger." Sweet pea askes the waitress

"So I know your name and how you are related to Jughead but I don't know much about you." Sweet pea leans in and leans back to place his arm across the chair.

"Well I like a lot of things. I love food and partys. I love cooking and sleeping. I love playing sports and music." The list continues.

"Wow that's alot." I laugh.

"What's one word your friends would describe you? 3...2...1-"

"Loyal." We both say at the same time.

We both look shocked and suddenly we start to laugh. Our milkshakes come and we are just a laughing mess. We leave pops and drive back to Jughead trailer.

"Well I had fun." I walked into the trailer where a note was.

"What does it say?" I jump and scream at the sudden voice.

"Sweet pea! You scared me. I thought you left."

"Jones motorcycle wasn't here so I figured he wasn't here so I checked up on you. "

"If I'm not back I'm still dealing with Archie and his idiotic self. I also need to sort some stuff out at Riverdale so I'll be be staying at Archie's house even though it would be awkward now. Stay at sweet pea, Fangs or Toni's house." The note had ended and Sweet pea sat on the couch.

"Well we could just stay here for tonight because we are already here." I nod thinking the same thing.

I change into some clothes that we're comfortable and fall asleep on my bed. When I woke up I found sweet pea sleeping on the couch. I place a blanket on him and a pillow under his head. He had a bag of what looks like clothes so he must of left and brought some clothes back.

I made sweet pea and I dinner. I put the left overs away but also saving sweet pea some. I walk past the chair with his serpents Jacket on it and just stare at it. I walk away to go grab my phone.

The week on like this and the more I stayed with him. The more I grew feelings. Don't get me wrong when he wasn't staying with me I had a slight crush. More of a preference but now all I can think about is how hot he is when he smirks and he flirts he makes me feel like the only girl in the world.

He fell asleep on the couch again and I walk past his jacket. I really wanted to wear since I first saw it. I quietly grabbed it and walk to the bathroom to look at myself wearing it.

"I love it so much." I say twirling around in it.

"I love how you look hot in it." I turn around shocked to see sweet pea leaning against the door frame.

"I uh sorry for wearing your jacket. I-"

"Don't be. You look hot in it anyways." That's it no more shame. I ran up to him and pulled him down and kissed him.

"I like you and you better like me back."

"Of course I do baby girl." I smile and soon that night got heated. I woke up in Jugheads bed with sweet pea bear chest uncovered by the sheets. I looked at sweet pea and saw he was wearing his jeans.

Started to kiss his neck and slowly moved to he tattoo. I found out last night where his tattoo is. Is also his sweet spot. I heared him moan as his hand ran down my spine down to my ass. "Babe it's so early."

"Hey Y/N!" I heared Jughead's voice echo the tralier. "Sweet pea wasn't at his trailer so I figured he was here?" Jughead gave me a questionable look when he saw Sweet peas jacket just him himself.

"Uh he left it this morning you just missed him. He was off to school or something." I heared rattling in the closet that we had. Jughead made his way to closest sighing.

"So your over Archie?" I nod and hoping he didnt know Sweet pea was in there.

"You can come out Sweet pea." The door opens to see a shirtless Sweet pea.

"And he is shirtless. You are definitely over Archie." I sheeplessly smile and watch Sweet pea put his shirt back on but when I pouted he sighed.

"I need to be warm."

"You can be warm in here. Next to me." He shakes his head, "Maybe later princess I promise. " He walks out following Jughead out.

School started and I had already missed my Sweet pea. I avoided everyone except for Reggie because I can't seem to go anywhere without him following me.

I got a text from Sweet pea asking If I wanted to get picked up and of course I said yes.

"I heared Archie cheated on you." Reggie voice echoed in the school halls.

"I heared your a complete asshole."

"When you caught them were they like in the middle of it or were they done?"

"What the fuck Reggie?" I give him a questionable look wondering why in earth would he want to know that.

"When you smashed his guitar did you-"

"Reggie leave her alone. She is a crazy bitch who breaks other people's things." I roll my eyes at Veronica and push the door open to the outside world.

"Yeah well I would still so tap that. " Reggie whistles while looking at my ass. He slaps my ass and I gasp. I was about to hit him when I felt someone stood behind me placing their hands on my shoulders.

"Touch her again and you will meet the consequences." Reggie scoffs and perfect timing. Archie and veronabitch is back.

"Wow so low Y/N. Going out with a serpent. What's next becoming a slut." Sweet peas hold got tighter.

"Veronica stop thinking I'm your future and plus the only slut here is you so back the fuck off." I push sweet pea off and walk straight to her, "or suffer the consequences that you have caused for yourself, North side bitch." I turn around when I felt my hair getting pulled back.

"You think your that but your not." I elbow Veronica in the stomach and upper cut her face. I pushed her down and kicked her stomach once again.

"Told you. Back the fuck off or suffer the consequences."

I walk to sweet pea and saw his expression.

"That was hot. Oh princess you make me proud." I laugh as we hope on his bike. We drove off just before I glanced at Veronica.

She was actually nice till she became this ice cold queen who fucks other girls guys. Oh well.

[ibelieveinahappilyeverafter]

Putting the Cat in Catastrophe Chapter 2

Bonjour! A little later than half an hour, but I had to eat first - cream of mushroom soup is very good, by the way. Enjoy the new chapter!

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Summary:  Danny Fenton has just escaped from a secret government testing facility and runs straight into Andrew Riter - a busybody librarian who seems to be obsessed with helping a stray black cat - said stray black cat happening to be Danny himself. The Government gets interested when they find out a seemingly ordinary human can shapeshift into different animals. Danny just wants to return to his family and try to find his lost memories, but he's having a hard time doing so when he's finding less and less reasons for leaving Andrew's side. He couldn't tell anyone his secret - not again - but... But why did he want to trust this man so badly? (Iambic Prose) (Shapeshifter Danny AU)

Warnings for: Laboratory testing, mentions of vivisections and dissections (nothing physical shown on screen), and references to bleeding

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Chapter Two

::

He had once heard that an optimistic outlook could make even the worst day into a great one. He heard that as long as you faced the day with a smile and didn't let it break you, no matter what was happening, it would get better. The smile would become real and the day would be good no matter what bad things happened.

Danny Fenton would really like to scratch the eyes out of whoever the fuck had said that. He would settle for biting, of course, but scratching the eyes out seemed like a reasonable reaction to a pile of garbage like that.

Look, the point was that Danny was having a very difficult night- Day? Morning? He wasn't sure what time it was exactly, but the last twenty-four hours had been hell. It was to the point that he was curled up in a stranger's lap and that was the normal part of the day. Danny was tired, exhausted, hurt, and he was pretty sure he should be biting and scratching the guy who was bawling his eyes out in an alleyway, but judging by his story his day was going about as well as Danny's.

So, here he was. Sitting on the lap of a guy who was probably trying to pretend that was rainwater on his cheeks and not tears. Danny kind of felt bad for the guy. Or, he would, if he wasn't- Ugh. It had been a day. Black cats were nowhere near lucky and Danny had the proof to back it all up!

"You've had a very tough life, haven't you?" The man's voice was quiet - almost as if he was afraid of being heard. Danny could sympathize. Sighing and collapsing further into the man's touch, Danny frowned as he felt a purr rumble out of him.

'You have no idea.' His life had been one giant shitstorm of one bad thing after another, but that morning - last night? - had been the worst one yet. It had started out hopeful, too.

::

"It's already been another year?" Danny looked in surprise at the chocolate bar that was held in front of him, taking it quickly when it was almost pulled away. "Hey, hey, I'm not complaining!"

"All you do is complain to me." Yeah, to Vlad, and that was because Vlad was the only scientist that wasn't completely insane and put in requests to vivisection him. "Five years since you arrived."

"Five years of torture," Danny snorted, tearing the packaging open with his teeth and taking a large bite at once, beaming at the taste. It had been an entire year since he last had something chocolate. "Five years of nothing but this place."

"Hey." Vlad pushed the chocolate bar down before he could take another bite, Danny frowning as he looked into the stare that wasn't quite disappointment, but also wasn't quite reproachful. "You're doing better."

"Yeah, I can remember my childhood bed and my favorite cartoon. Big progress." Taking another big bite, Danny glared at Vlad in defiance. Vlad just rolled his eyes as he began taking Danny's vitals. "Yeah, wow, so much has changed from my last torture session."

"Hush. You know they don't like when you use that word." Yeah, cause Danny was just a little too human for them. At least, he usually was. "You seem to be doing well with the new regime they put you on."

"Doesn't feel like it. I'm still getting the cold and heat flashes every few hours." All Vlad did was offer him a weak smile - that was all he could do right now. "'S fine, I'll get used to it like all the other stuff."

"Ye… Yes." Oh, no, Danny did not like the way Vlad said that. He was also being given a second chocolate bar which meant bad news. Vlad, the dick, waited until his mouth was full of chocolate to speak again. "You're leaving tonight."

It took a good ten seconds for Danny to stop himself from choking and swallow the bite in his mouth, gasping for breath and, "What?!" There was no way- "You're joking. That's cruel- Even for you that's cruel."

"I'm not joking, Daniel." He wasn't joking. He wasn't… Five years. Danny had been here five years and he- He couldn't remember the before, so it was fine, right? This was all he knew so it was fine. Not good, but he was surviving. Yeah, sure, okay, he wanted to stop all the pain and shit, but… "You're seventeen, you've been here five years, and they've learned all they can from you while you're alive."

"What… What do you mean while I'm alive?" He'd been here since he was twelve and five years wasn't enough to learn everything about him, right? "Vlad, what do you mean-"

"They've studied your body as much as they can while keeping it working, Daniel. What do you think happens when they've performed all the vivisections they need?" Vlad's voice was hard and rough, the man clutching at his clipboard and looking ready to break it in half. "What's the difference between a vivisection and an autopsy?"

"The first one is for subjects that are alive and the second is for- Oh." They were going to kill him. They were going to see just how everything worked when they had all the time in the world to pick him apart and study him. "When?"

"Tonight." Silent, Danny stared down at his chocolate, one wrapper empty and the other still having near a full chocolate bar.

"Kind of a dick move considering it's my birthday and all." They were going to kill him. They were going to kill him and there was nothing- Leaving. "You're serious."

"As much as you like to cast disparities upon my character, I don't want to see a child die in front of me." Resisting the urge to argue about the child bit, Danny quietly took another bite of chocolate. "Will it make you feel better if I told you I've been working on this plan for four years, now?"

"Four years? But that's…" That was when Vlad was assigned as his caretaker within the labs. He was the one in charge of making sure he didn't die in his sleep, basically. Four years would have meant that Vlad had been working on this plan since the beginning - since they had first met. "You didn't even know me back then. I was nothing but a subject."

"Please." Vlad gave him the look he usually did when Danny was being an idiot. "You were thirteen years old and you cried quietly when they first brought you to me. Children don't cry quietly unless they've given up."

"To be fair, thirteen isn't a child at that point," Danny grumbled, finishing off his chocolate bar and dropping the wrappers onto the table beside him. "This plan of yours. Would it even work? We've been through plans before." Danny wasn't the only one to dream of escape, but he was the only one who wasn't an idiot and ran off as soon as a door was open.

"Four years is a lot of time to work out the kinks in a plan." Mm. That wasn't a very good answer, but then, Vlad wasn't much of a fan of yes or no answers. "Daniel… This is your last chance. I won't let it fail."

"How much danger is it going to put you in?" There was the soft sound of pencil scratching against paper on a clipboard, Danny steadily watching Vlad as he refused to answer the question. Didn't that just tell him everything he needed to know, too. "There's no way I'm doing this if it's going to hurt you-"

"I, at least, won't be cut open on a table without a heartbeat in a few hours." The words weren't screamed, but they might as well have been with how cold they were. "We're doing this and you can either cooperate or I can resort to plan B where you don't have to be conscious."

"That's cruel." He shouldn't. Danny shouldn't be feeling like this was possible. It was just talk. Words that were nothing but noise. He shouldn't be getting excited over the chance that he could actually be free. "This is cruel, Vlad, even by your standards."

"Whatever made you think I was a nice man?" Vlad patted at his cheek, hand resting there for a moment before he sighed and dropped it to Danny's shoulder. "Just hope, Daniel. For a few more hours, just have trust in me and hope."

"I was supposed to spend the rest of my life in here." That was how it was supposed to go. He'd be the government's lab rat, he'd get used to never having his memories back, and he'd just live out the rest of his life in a government testing facility. "That was how it was supposed to be."

"Yes, well, I've rather found that planning ahead never quite works like one would expect." Vlad sighed, meeting Danny's gaze again. "I'm going to tell you as much about your past as I know and when you get out you're going to find them. They'll welcome you back without hesitation."

"How can you be sure? How can you- I've been gone for five years. Whatever they felt for me is probably- They probably thought I was dead and had a funeral, Vlad. Who wants a dead kid back in their lives?"

"Daniel, they will accept you - your parents, especially. Once you have children… Everything changes. You'll return to them, to Jack and Maddie Fenton, and you'll have a home again. A real one."

"Vlad- Vlad, I only remember a few things. My childhood bed, my favorite cartoon, and the color purple. That's not- That's nowhere near enough to actually survive-"

"You, little badger, give yourself too little credit." Trying not to laugh at the nickname, Danny shook his head. "And yes, I am never going to let you forget that."

"I panicked and you were wearing a white lab coat and I heard someone talking about honey badgers that day. I can't be blamed for what happened." Humor. Humor helped cover up everything else. That was all he needed, right? "Vlad… If it wasn't for you then my first memory would have been waking up in those labs. They've taken everything from me."

"And you can get it back. They didn't take your memories, Daniel, you hid them away. I've told you this." Yeah, yeah, psychology and repression, and everything, but… He had to have hid them away for a reason. Maybe it was because they hurt too much. "You're going to be okay."

"Right. Okay." He could believe in one more lie, right? Besides, if it was the last lie he'd ever believe in, then, well. It wasn't a bad one. "What's this plan of yours, then?"

::

"This is the last test for this subject, then?" As usual, the scientists preferred to think he was nothing but the animals he shifted into. Danny hoped he could bite at least one of them before he left.

"Yes, after this we move him to F-121." The dissection labs. Fuck, Vlad hadn't been kidding at all, then, had he? "Make sure he's strapped in tightly. They're expecting him in half an hour."

"All secure." The bands around his wrists and ankles were checked, Danny staying still and silent and he just had to have patience. He just had to be patient and wait for the right moment. That didn't mean he liked the fact that he was on his stomach his back was facing them. "Do you think they'll let us study his brain one last time before they put him under?"

Tuning the conversation out, Danny focused on pushing away the pain that came from their scalpels slicing into him, his paper gown pushed away as the strings were cut. As soon as he got out of here he was going to find the largest, softest clothes he could and never take them off.

Just as it seemed like the pain was going to overwhelm him, the blaring ringing of alarm bells had all three of them startling, Danny looking up with wide eyes as the room began to be washed out with red colors.

"The contamination warning? Shit, is it airborne?" The scalpels left his skin and Danny heard the door of the room unlock itself, a pre-recorded voice sounding over the speakers.

"Attention, this is not a drill. An airborne contaminant has been released into the compound. Please escort yourselves to the designated safe spots. Attention, this is not a drill. An airborne contaminant-" Signal. That was a hell of a signal.

Closing his eyes, Danny breathed out slowly before sucking another breath in and centering his thoughts. If one thing could be said about this hellhole, at least it had taught him just what he could do and what he was capable of.

"Should we- Fuck. The subject-" Too late. Throwing himself off the table, Danny hit the floor in a scramble of four paws, rat tail flicking sharply before he gave himself over to his instincts and ran. He knew a scrap of black fur and blue eyes could be easily lost in the chaos that was now happening - at least, to those who weren't looking.

Warm hands scooped him up, Danny opening his mouth wide and flashing sharp teeth and- "If you bite me, Daniel, then I will make sure to throw you into the trash compactor." Danny nipped Vlad's finger in defiance, laughing to himself as he was dropped into the man's pocket.

'No sense of humor at all.' Danny curled up in the pocket, slowly peeking out as Vlad ran through the halls, alarms still flashing and blaring and making the whole building a confusing den of sound and movement. 'C'mon, Vladdie, running out of time.'

"You remember the plan?" No, he obviously forgot between here and- Of course he remembered the plan! Danny hadn't let Vlad leave until he could recite it by heart! "Get ready to shift, I'm about to drop you off at the right vent."

It was only a few moments of Danny wondering what vent it would be at before Vlad was stopping and picking him up gently, hesitating as he stroked a thumb down Danny's back. "Be safe, little badger."

'I won't forget this, Vlad.' Danny knew Vlad couldn't hear his thoughts, but it was nice to pretend. 'I promise.' As soon as Danny's paws touched the ground he was shifting into a raccoon and flexing his 'hands' before fighting to get the screws off of the air vent. It didn't take long before he managed to get them off. Ignoring his cuts on his hands - paws? - and the blood he could feel streaking down his back, Danny closed his eyes and shifted his body once more, panting to get his breath back as he balanced on four paws.

Back-to-back shifting always took it out of him considering how much his body was changing and how quickly it was, but he didn't have a choice much as the moment. "-he's escaping!" Fuck.

"Run and don't look back." Looking up at Vlad with sharp cat eyes, Danny yowled as he was near kicked into the vent, Vlad yelling at him. "Daniel, run!"

Knowing better than to question and not stupid enough to stick around and help, Danny pushed his tears back and ran down the vent, paws quick and sure and stride not breaking once as he bounded across the flexing metal ducts. He didn't stop until something was breaking and clattering and he hit cold pavement, and even then he only stopped long enough to coil his strength together before running again.

He didn't look back and he didn't stop. Cats were fast and they were fleet footed. They weren't meant to run for long periods of time, though, so as soon as Danny crashed into the woods he shifted into a small breed of hunting hound and kept running steadily ahead. It had to be near a mile before he felt as if his heart would beat right out of his chest and yet he still didn't stop. He couldn't. He couldn't.

If he stopped, for even a moment, then there was a chance he would be captured. There was a chance he would be captured, and killed, and he would find out that Vlad- As long as he kept running then he could pretend. He could pretend that he really could get away and get his memories back. He could pretend there was family out there waiting for him. He could pretend that Vlad was safe and had been fired and he was able to leave.

He wasn't sure how long it was or how long he had been running until the crunch of leaves and uneven dirt gave way for smooth, hard pavement once more, Danny gulping down air as he slowed only long enough to change back into the sleek form of a cat - and even then he didn't stay completely still. He couldn't. He was finally free. He was finally able to run and god- God. It was raining. It was raining. Danny hadn't felt rain since… He didn't know when, but it was more than five years ago, that was for sure.

Danny ran as he let the rain wash away his blood and soak him to the bone, the shivering so preferable to the burning, all consuming pain he had been feeling. He ran and he ran and he ran until he stumbled into an alleyway and saw the first human he had seen outside the labs. The man was probably a few years older than him, had scruffy black hair and green eyes, and looked to be having as bad a day as Danny.

He stopped only to get his breath back and let himself rest. That was it. Or at least, that was supposed to be it. Instead he had ended up curled up in the man's lap and not even hissing or minding the fingers that were running through his fur. Danny knew how bad days could make people unpredictable, but this man just looked like he wanted to go home, curl up into a ball, and cry.

Yeah, okay, so the guy was off his rocker insane thinking black cats were lucky and talking to him like he could understand everything he was saying, but Danny could handle being used as a cuddle toy for a few more minutes if it meant he didn't have to deal with a crying person.

Slumping against the fingers, Danny heaved a breath as it finally felt like his heart wasn't about to explode. 'Okay. Okay, your last name is Fenton. You're seventeen and you disappeared when you were twelve. Your birthday is April 3rd. Your full name is Daniel James Fenton and you're looking for your family, Jack, Madeline, and Jasmine Fenton. Your bedspread was blue and you liked glow in the dark stars and your favorite cartoon show had something to do with spaceships and aliens. You love the color purple. You and your family lived in Amity Park.'

Okay… Okay. He needed to find a way to get to this Amity Park. He wasn't sure which way he had run, but judging by the fact it had to be near the afternoon he had been running for hours, at least. He had never travelled outside the lab and it had been small, so he had probably been in a smaller lab simply so they didn't risk losing him in transport. That meant even if he wasn't in Amity Park, he had to be close. That meant they were close, too, though.

Right. Staying as a cat would be best right now. Cats were swift, agile, and small enough to not be seen. No doubt they would be searching the skies for a few weeks, so he had to be careful. They wouldn't expect him to stay as an animal for so long. The question was, how long would it take to convince them that he was dead or long gone? They had to assume he'd go back home, so was his family in danger? What if-

"Come on, petit chaton. Let's get out of this rain." Yowling as the human stood and jostled him, Danny was ready to bite and claw before the man was shifting the umbrella so Danny would stay dry and adjusting him carefully. "You are rather hurt, aren't you… Maybe Randy can help you."

Danny should jump. He should jump down, run away, and leave because otherwise he was about to be taken in as a pet… They wouldn't expect him to be a pet. 'You might have just saved my life, you know.' If he could hide out as a pet for a few weeks, it would at least give him time to decide on what to do.

"Well, since I've already lost my sanity by talking to a cat, let's assume you're smart enough to realize what I'm doing. My name is Andrew Riter and I'll be taking you somewhere where you can get food and medical treatment."

'Oh my god, you're a nerd. Do you go around to other animals and expect them to understand you? This isn't a Disney movie!' If nothing else, at least Danny knew he wasn't about to be cut open anymore. The crazy purple coat the guy was wearing might even be a good sign - purple had always been his lucky color. That was enough, for right now.

It had to be.

[words-writ-in-starlight]

so i'm assuming that all the reincarnated ham crew look like their musical actors, which, awesome. but i was thinking about jefferson, who was a racist fucker being reincarnated as a black man. like. how would that even go down?

*emerges from cave, shamefaced* Right, so, does anyone remember that this AU exists?  Because I swear to God I didn’t forget, I just only now have had the time.  I actually have a bunch of prompts for it, not all of them are going to get written based on...like...my inspiration level, but also this series is alive again, so like.  Yep.  Here is some Jefferson.  Full disclosure, I dislike Jefferson and think his economic plan was some racist bullshit, so...that is evident.

To all you newcomers, I do recommend reading the other stuff, even if you could probably figure it out.  

All In One Spot AU

So, the academic affairs office holds out longer than theirpredecessor.  Not by much, but by alittle.  It takes two full weeks for Alexto hammer through his petition to be allowed to take more than max credits—and it’squite a petition.  Angelica takes one look at the twenty-page,double-sided, single-spaced letter to the dean of academics and disavows anyinvolvement, and John grins fondly, remarking that the dean has no idea what he’sgotten into.

The dean, incidentally, has lived his life with pleasantly dim memoriesof Philedelphia with cobblestone streets and a vague impression that he knowsthe unfortunate teacher annually strong-armed into teaching History of theAmerican Revolution.  He recalls verylittle else of his time in the Continental Congress—indeed, at gunpoint hecouldn’t have identified what exactly he was doing, back then.

He has a blindingly vividflashback upon looking at the first page of the letter—the pamphlet, really—and immediately feeds the entire thing through hisshredder.

“Jake,” he says, sticking his head out of his office to look at hissecretary.

“Yes, sir?”

“Approve whatever Hamilton’s request was before he sends anymoreletters.  I’ve seen enough for severallifetimes.”

“You got it, boss,” says Jake, whose past life was a blissfullyunremarkable farmer in the Italian countryside and who therefore has no ideathat his boss is sparing them all a lot of trouble.

Now, the reason this matters is because Alex walks into his Econ 101class for the first time two weeks into the semester, takes one look at thelesson outline the grad student wrote on the board, and makes a sound ofabsolute incoherent horror.

“Oh my god,” Alex says faintly, frozen in place two steps inside thedoor.  He was never an especiallyreligious person, but he’s wondering if maybe the universe is punishing him forpast crimes.  He’s not saying one way orthe other if he deserves it, but this seems excessive.  “Jefferson is haunting me from beyond thegrave.”

“Listen, kid,” sighs the grad student. She wears her hair buzzed short on one side and is clutching her coffeealmost as fiercely as Alex is, and he thinks this is maybe not her first classtoday from the also, I don’t carelook on her face.  “We’re doing a reviewof some basic socioeconomic structures, and the Jeffersonian/Hamiltonian debateis, like, critical.  So could you--”

“But it’s bullshit,” Alexbursts out before he can even try to hold his tongue.  “It was bullshit when Jefferson first came upwith it, and it’s bullshit now.”

“Jesus Christ,” a voice fromsomewhere in the front third of the lecture hall mutters.  A tall figure unfolds itself from a chair andsays, “Have you ever taken an economics class in your life?”

Alex can actually taste the way his blood pressure skyrockets.  It occurs to him, briefly, that someone—possiblyEliza, also possibly the General—might kill him if he starts a fight right now,but.  On the other hand.  He’s going to start a fight.  He’s got no choice, basically.

“Have you?” he demands rudely,turning to stare up the lecture hall at the young man—maybe a sophomore, he’stoo angry to be sure, but he’s wearing a very questionable magenta hoodie andhis hair is even fluffier than Lafayette’s and honestly he has a very punchableface, in Alex’s humble opinion—and narrowing his eyes.  “I mean, do you have a single legitimateargument for why Jefferson’s bullshit plan would work?  Because let me just say, plenty of Southernersloved to sit around and talk about how the country was being railroaded by thebig cities in the North but--”

“If the North can’t balance their own needs with the supply they cangenerate, why should the South--”

Fine, if that’s how he wants to play it. Alex raises his voice to try to drown the other guy out.  “If the South wants to call itself a part ofa country, it needs to support--”

“State-by-state trade--”

“—what, you expect landowners to share their profits freely enough tokeep a country alive, God you’re naïve--”

“—freedom from the chokeholdof a national bank--”

“—so the country can be held hostage by the South?”

“Farms and farm owners should be able to dictate where their finances--”

“—can’t punish the North for the sin of not having huge arable fields--”

“—your vaunted manufacturing facilities cover it?”

By now they’re bellowing at each other over the heads of the rest of theclass, real anger kicking up an intellectual debate into something familiar,and so Alex isn’t really surprised by the next slip of his tongue.  Old habits, new dogs—old dogs?  Something like that.

Anyway.

Point is, Alex slams his textbook down onto the grad student’s table andhollers, “Goddamnit, Jefferson, I wasright and history proves it, get off your fucking high horse!”

There’s a long couple seconds where Alex remembers, in the dead silencethat’s settled on the lecture hall, that he was kind of planning to keep a lidon that?   Oh well, any hope of secrecywas blown to shit by Washington’s class anyway and fuck it, he’s right, he was right then and he’s right now, andfurthermore—

“Go fuck yourself, Hamilton,” the tall guy says, and Alex has a smallheart attack.

“Jesus God, fucking Christ, what the fuck,” the grad student blurts allat once in a rush, but Alex doesn’t answer her, too busy taking a deep breathto launch his next volley.

Admittedly, it’s not a gracious one, but listen, just listen: Alex is not a gracious personand no one ever said he was, certainly never more than once, and definitely notafter having an argument with him.  

“Hey, look, I’m sure it’s rough to realize that all your best effortsonly ended in Andrew Jackson’s racist ass closing down the federal bank andlanding us all neck deep in shit a hundred and fifty years later--”

“Excuse me, I wrote--”

Alex drives over the tall guy’s protests—Jefferson’s protests, and wow, he’s going to hear about this fromWashington later.  “—but you really haveto get over your bullshit economic plan and just admit that it depends on slavery.”

“It does not!”

“Oh my god it does, it totallydoes, the only way your plan works is if there’s basically no economic overheadfor labor, and like, listen, buddy, I’m not sure if anyone ever told you this,but we had a whole war about the slavery thing, it was a very big deal, itkilled like a million people and then we agreed that slavery was bad.”  Alex pauses and very slowly arches an eyebrowat Jefferson, enjoying this…probably more than he should.  “Do youagree that slavery was bad, Thomas?” he asks with a wide smile.

If Jefferson purses his lips any harder, Alex thinks they might actuallyfuse.  “Still an asshole and animmigrant, I see.”

“Well, not all of us had such an easy karmic target on our backs as,say, just for example, a slave owner with a realbad track record getting brought back as a black guy,” Alex points outgenerously.  “If Maria shows up, I’m morethan happy to let her follow Peggy’s example and punch me, I’m doing mypenance.”

“I don’t deserve this,” Jefferson tells the ceiling.

“I dunno, man,” the girl sitting next to him says.  “Sounds like you might.  Like, I did the reading and your plan was kind of bullshit.”

Honestly this is the greatest thing that’s ever happened to him—well,no, it’s not even the greatest thing to happen to him this month, but it’s upthere, okay, it’s way up there.  “I feel so, so validated,” Alex tells thegrad student, who looks like she might be in shock?  Her eyes are wide and her jaw is slack, so hecocks his head and asks, “Are you okay?”

She shuts her mouth with a click, closes her eyes, swallows.  Pinches the bridge of her nose between herthumb and finger.  It’s shockinglysimilar to Washington’s patented Headache Pose that always appeared during thelatest cabinet battle royal.  

“Can you two be trusted to not kill each other if you sit on oppositesides of the hall?”

“Come on, now, we worked together for like—most of a couple decades,”Alex says after a second of mental math.

“Yeah,” she says, opening her eyes and visibly trying not to be star struck, which Alex…appreciates, to becompletely honest.  “And then you, youknow, mutually annihilated each other and he spent a couple more decades tryingto blackball your name out of the history books.”

“It’s so rare that I feel like the bigger person,” Alex says, bouncingon his toes.

“That’s because you’re unnaturally small,” Jefferson mutters, sullenlyresuming his seat.

“I am not listening to baseless insults about my height right now, thankyou, Jefferson, I have the eternal trump card and there’s nothing you can doabout it.”

The grad student puts her head back into her hand, and squeezes her eyesshut.

[inkyfingerstoo]

aos rewatch

2x19 - The Dirty Half Dozen Thanks again @consoledacup !!!!

In this one: Team SHIELD is reunited and it feels so good wrong! Mike and Lincoln get cut up then saved. Jemma commits murder. Fitz pea-cocks. The Bus dies. Jai-ying talks a lot. Gonzalez talks more. Coulson talks the most. Raina has visions of Ultron.

-Coming to you in full Raina-vision - Hi Ruth Negga! -I loved Kyle Mclaughlin as Cal - he brought a lot of spark and heightened emotion to the show -Whatever happened to all these rando inhumans at the sanctuary? -Felt no connection to Robert Gonzalez (getting major Malick vibes), slow, low growly voice -Coulson exposition might be the worst part of the show -Boring Jai-ying/Skye scene, more exposition, less action -BAKSHI (I love him) - I can’t believe the villains end their phone calls with “Hail Hydra” ::snortlaughter:: -eugh back to Coulson/Gonzalez exposition -FITZ! First appearance at the 8:31 minute mark (standard Fitzsimmons first episode appearance average is probably ~10minutes - forever salty about it). -Iain, you’re adorable. AND HUNTER, I love and miss you -Nice saucy comment by Ward there “May’s actually pretty friendly…once you get to know her.” -“What happened?” “They removed Deathlock’s eye.” Yikes. Captain obvious. -JEMMA at the 12:00 minute mark (Fitz just staring at her) and a Fitzsimmons scene. “Whatever that is, it’s not love.” “Tsh, course not.” THE TENSION IN THAT SMALL SILENCE AFTER THIS EXCHANGE IS UNBEARABLE. Jemma’s reaction after this excahnge is very interesting. Nervously clasped hands, looking down to her feet, not looking at Fitz. Poor girl. She’s in so much pain -FitzSimmons sandwich of love. Fitz’s earnest thanks and Jemma’s soft “you’re welcome.” -Fitz pea-cocking is my favorite thing in the world -“You know what I should have done is toss him from the plane.” “Yeah, that would have been fitting.” I guess it’s good they can (kind of) joke about it now? -Never really unpacked how I feel about murderous Jemma. On one hand I get, bc Ward is evil and deserves to die and he nearly destroyed the most precious thing in the world to Jemma. But on the other hand, it’s murder, it’s taking a human life, that’s pretty intense. I'm sure there were some agents who joined SHEILD with the understanding that at some point, they will likely have to take a human life. But I don't think that ever occurred to Fitz or Simmons. They joined (well she joined, he followed) for science, discovery, exploration and adventure. And look at them now. It's all quite tragic really. Always wonder about these secret agent shows and how much murder is going on and the lines of morality that get pushed, and the justifications that occur. It’s all too deep for me to dive into so…..I’m just gonna not do it. -Whoa Coulson going to Andrew behind May’s back (to me that makes Coulson/May weirder, sorry I’m not on that ship, I like them as devoted friends only). I wonder how many times in the series Coulson has said the words, “but right now” - I bet it’s a lot -Afterlife crap, Ward/Kara crap, Bobbi/Gonzalez exchange, not really paying attention -Jemma and Coulson……man she really wants to murder Ward! Look how tense she is, her body language is very desperate borderline manic. (Ok, here’s a complaint I have about the show, Jemma says she should come on the mission for medical support…but she’s not an MD. Sure, she’s a genius but she didn’t go to medical school. I feel like this is something the show has forever been a bit confused about (like later in the season when she’s part of the surgery team for Bobbi - that made zero sense). I’m undoubtedly in the minority here, but I wish they would focus Jemma’s science prowess back to what it was in season 1 with the chemistry portion of her expertise and how that works in conjunction with biology. The only slack I’ll give for this case is that it was Mike Peterson who is half cyborg and as she states, she knows all his tech.) -Fitz in tach gear…..yes please (I wonder if he questioned or asked Jemma why she was there since she was a last minute add to the crew) -I’ll always be salty about the way Coulson clearly cares about Skye above all others -Trio™ pow-wow is adorable. -Ward, King of Excuses. He doesn’t regret killing people???? What a sociopath!!!! -Cal/Jai-ying scene…..boooooring -Hunter/Mack scene, all the awz, Bobbi/Kara scene, don’t care -The twins! Wanda and Pietro mentioned. Neat -All this choreographed hustle is hilarious (when they’re running around in the bus before it’s shot down) -RIP Bus - I’ll forever miss the lab and the little cubbie bedrooms (and forever have AUs where Fitz and Simmons cuddled in them.) -Shaky camera acting is always silly looking (weird moment at 28:11 - during one of the cuts to the team as the quinjet falls, Simmons holds her fist out, as if she wanted a bump from Fitz, haha). -Nice vfx Kolpack! -Man did the SHIELD team easily get into the base. No follow-up from Team Hydra to check for survivors, I guess. Lazy villains will never prosper. -“Be careful, Jemma.” Fitzsimmons for: “I love you.” -This one-shot action sequence with Daisy was SICK. Probably my second favorite Daisy scene in the series (The Fitzsimmons shipper speech is #1 obviously.) -Jemma with some nice moves against Bakshi. I wish more than anything we saw Jemma and Fitz doing the physical training (the way we always see Daisy) -Bakshi dies! Aw saddddd. Fun fact: after this episode aired I tweeted Simon Kassianides about how I was sad Bakshi died because I loved him as a villain and he liked and retweeted my tweet! (Said something along the lines of maybe he’s just “mostly dead,” Princess Bride style). -Why is Jemma so willing to die? “Get it over with you monster.” (“Just let them kill me.”) - did they forget at the end of s1 of Jemma refused to die, refused to let Fitz die? OOC (I suppose you could argue that it was a front of bravery in front of Ward. She just assumed he’d kill her so why give him the satisfaction of showing fear. Better scene in my opinion? Let her ‘go down’ fighting, let her say fuck it and pull the gun out and try and shoot Ward, but he shoots her in the vest she’s wearing, more dramatic fodder for FitzSimmons) -Love how these agents just murder people with no qualms. (May shooting the guards). I’m glad Fitz didn’t kill anyone. -Awww Fitz standing next to Jemma over Lincoln’s med bed -Aww2.0 Fitz and Jemma talking to Mike Peterson, like old times. “He didn’t make it.” (re. Bakshi) Jemma gives no shits. -lol This episode setting up Ultron. “It’s all connected.” bahahahaha

Fitzsimmons screen time once again woefully inadequate at 7.25 minutes 

Tagging: @wheres-your-rum @nerdlove4thewin @jemmathepoptart