#and tbh my job is not to dissuade the what if

[tennessoui]

idk if this is gonna be a weird ask but i send in a lot of anonymous asks bc im worried if theyre not anonymous oomfs will see me obikinposting bc i know a bunch of them think its Bad and Problematic but then its like. an ask. on Your acc. like if they see it its like. mf why were YOU at the witches sacrament yk ? anyways idk its something im anxious about a lot and idk IDK thank u love u bye hope the mouse leaves u alone (i would recommend a glue mouse trap and some cheese) (and someone for emotional support)

dude i promise i never ever question my anonymous asks. send as many as you want!!! send one from your account that says 'just message me to respond' and i will! i love getting anons and tbh i love sending anons and i literally do it all the time - tumblr's new rule about having people have to have a tumblr account to send anons sorta sucks tbh cause i always thought of my anons as being a mix of ao3 users/twitter users/tumblr users, but now, alas....

but point is---no reason for sending an anon ask is weird or stupid. and if you ever want to send a non-anon ask but you're worried about people being stupid, just let me know to reply on the side. people can be weird about things, and i know obikin gets a lot of hate.

but you should enjoy what you like anyway. because you like it. and it's cool and metaphoric and like. hot as hell to imagine and what else do you need????

[ohthewh0rror]

WE’LL MEET AGAIN SOME SUNNY DAY.

˚₊ ⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆ ₊˚ prompt — “If I can’t love you in this lifetime I will wait for you until the next.”

Pairing: Tom Riddle x Reader

A/N: Alexa, play For Her by Whatsaheart. Which totally has nothing to do with this fic, but the song is 1000% a Tom/Reader song. Also this connects to a previous Tom POV in a way, I might make a part 2 to this tbh.

So this is what it means to lose? To accept you’re at the end of your rope? This sense of hopelessness, knowing there was nothing I could do to change my fate, carved a pit into my chest, hollowing out the center where my heart once lay and burrowing itself in its place. I stood at the top of the grand staircase, sunlight coming through the windows, setting the room alight in a soft glow. The home itself is silent, but I swear I can hear the inkling of laughter in the distance, it feels just out of reach as I continue to make my way to the bottom of the stairs.

I try to follow the sound, but it feels like the sound is teasing me, dancing in and out of each ear, beckoning me closer just to drift away again. Before I know it, I’m standing in front of the door. The need to open the door is overwhelming, but a voice in the back of my head is attempting to dissuade me from grasping the handle.

As I hesitate, my hand hovering just above the handle, I hear it again. The sweet sound of laughter; something so familiar, so inviting, it gives me the strength to dismiss the voice in the back of my mind. Grasping the warm knob of the door, I give it only a slight twist before it softly cracks open. I can hear the laughter more clearly now, it’s here just on the other side of the doors. I stand, still hesitant to open the door fully and step out, when I hear her.

Her? Who is this her? She’s calling out to me, telling me it’s time. I open the door fully, and the glow of the sun is suddenly blinding.

Tom awoke with a gasp, confused, as his heart thumped painfully against his chest. He laid there for a moment, taking in where he was, making sure he was in fact in his London flat. He let out one last shuddering breath as he sat up, realizing he wasn’t in some manor, but instead his bed.

What kind of dream was that? Was it a dream? It felt so real, almost too real. Tom was internally grateful when the clock on his bedroom wall chimed, letting them know it was time to get up and get ready for work.

Tom hurried through getting ready, skipping breakfast entirely, intent on getting out of his flat and to his job at the Ministry as soon as he could. The dream unsettled him to his core; the feelings of hopelessness, acceptance, and dare he say longing left him feeling suffocated. He needed a change of scenery and the monotony of work to take his mind off things.

But, as the day wore on, the dream continued to haunt him. Especially the voice of the woman calling out to him. It wasn’t a voice he had heard before, yet it sounded so familiar to him still. It wasn’t until he was out with a few of his coworkers later that day, getting drinks when he finally found her.

He heard her laugh before he saw her face, the sound causing his heart to plummet, as he desperately searched with his eyes for the source of the sound.

And there she was, standing across the room with what seemed to be a friend of hers. An intense feeling of déjà vu washed over him as he took in the sight of her throwing her head back, laughing at something her friend had said. It made no sense to him, as he doesn’t know this woman. He doesn’t remember seeing her a day in his life, and yet looking at her now, he feels as if he’s seeing an old friend again for the first time in a long time.

One of his coworkers, Rafferty, must have noticed he wasn't paying attention and took it upon himself to see what had Tom so spaced out because the next thing Tom knows there’s a heavy hand on his shoulder. He hears Rafferty’s gruff voice in his ear a moment later, “that’s Y/N, she works at the Ministry too, Department of Mysteries.”

Tom nodded absentmindedly, contemplating just leaving it at that. To let that supposed dream remain a mystery for the rest of his life, a perpetual ‘what-if’ in the back of his mind. But it seems as if he didn't have a choice, when Rafferty, the annoying brute, called out to both Y/N and her friend over. As they made their way towards the table, Rafferty turned and gave Tom a wink, giving Tom half a mind to hex him into the next century.

His aggravation seemed like a footnote once Y/N had made it to the table. After she greeted Rafferty and his two other colleagues, she finally turned to him.

Oh…oh no.

Tom truly hadn’t believed in love at first sight. His whole life he figured it was a load of rubbish, just something in children’s storybooks to inspire their imagination. But now, at the age of 26, he can say that love at first sight was very much real. Seeing her was like breathing in your first gulp of air after nearly drowning, painful yet so relieving.

Relief?

Yes. That’s what Tom felt holding her hand in his as he introduced himself, Tom felt like the part of his life that had been missing finally fell into place as he looked into her (Y/E/C) eye’s. Tom didn’t know what Y/N was thinking, but if the look on her told him anything, she was feeling the same way he felt in this moment. Y/N seemed almost reluctant to pull her hand away, but ultimately did. Still, neither of them looked away from each other.

As their introduction led to casual conversation, Tom and Y/N’s conversation continued on late into the night, even long after their other companions had left. As the bartender made the last call, Tom offered to walk Y/N outside to an appropriate apparition point. They fell into comfortable silence, one you’d expect from two people who had known each other their whole lives.

And maybe they had, just at another time, in another life.

[rueria]

hortus de escapismo word vomit bc i cant seem to get this event outta my head apparently

i don't know who and how many exactly in the monastery were influenced by arturia, maybe her arts made the non-sarkaz more on-edge towards the sarkaz as a reflection of their hidden frustrations. maybe delfina and fortuna could have resolved things more calmly if it wasn't for her music. if she wasn't there, maybe clement wouldn't have submitted to his despair so soon. or maybe not.

i believe what happened in the monastery wasn't her fault (the root cause here is laterano's status quo, among other things), she "just" accelerated it. what happened would've probably still happened. and it's not like removing one's inhibitions and showing their truest emotions is inherently destructive. the abbot prepared the communion bread, but at the last moment he decided not to bring it to the last mass. i believe that was his true desire.

honestly, what i find curious is executor's single-mindedness in trying to apprehend her. and i do remember that he blames her, saying something like "once again, your actions have led to deaths" (non-verbatim)

idk, i also think her arts are dangerous, but that dangerous that he almost drops everything else the moment he recognizes her cello? and what i find ironic is that, he essentially watched clement kill himself. he tried to dissuade him, yes, but he ultimately respected his choice. is it because he knew, as someone who knows arturia's arts more than anyone else, that *this* was what clement really wanted to do, and he couldn't bring himself to interfere?

what does he really think about arturia and her arts? federico isn't prejudiced the way other sankta are, he just enforces the law to the letter (and for that matter, why *does* he do that? i doubt it's just bc it's his job?). does he view arturia as urgently dangerous because she's a major threat to the law, aka the status quo? if thats the case, isn't it strange that he seems to be the only one who's that dedicated to catching her? mr. oren "preserve laterano's greatness" argiolas was more concerned about protecting laterano-leithanien relations over her. maybe bc he's the only one who understands how powerful her arts are? then, how does he react when he finds out that she's [redacted]? can ZH pls come faster

anyway uh back to arturia, i don't think arturia is evil but i do think she's wrong. wrong in that i personally can't agree with her on principle. i don't think what she wants is bad or evil tbh, or even truly wrong. i just can't agree with it. a person's true emotions and desires aren't all a person should be. inhibitions, while they can be limiting, are also just as much part of a person as their truest emotions. it's like putting a person in a dire and deadly situation and judging them based on their actions in those circumstances, labeling that as their true self. idk, maybe i'm misinterpreting what exactly she wants and how her arts work, or what "true emotions" even are. maybe it's because i try to think what would happen if *i* listened to her music and i feel like i'd probably do things i'd regret.

well, ZH should probably answer a lot of my questions about arturia. but it seems to me that it'd be a long while before the laterano storyline is resolved, especially since it also concerns the sarkaz

[mass-convergence]

Why am I pissed about the “5% graduation rate” thing going around?

Because I’ve been seeing so many people in the notes lamenting their chances at college and saying it’s hopeless. Basically getting sucked into a doomerism hole because someone didn’t thoroughly interrogate their sources before posting something that pressed people’s angry buttons.

You want my advice about college?

If you want to go to college? Go to college. If you have ADHD? Fucking advocate for yourself and fight like goddamn Hell to get the support you need. Get allies to help you because you don’t have to go it alone. (Easier said than done, I know)

I have ADHD and was diagnosed last year so I didn’t know that I had it while I was in college. I almost flunked out of college. I failed the same courses two times and the third time was the absolute last time I could take those courses before they kicked me out. My GPA was abysmal. I was ready to quit, I was actually ready to kill myself over this, I felt like a failure and I felt horrible. I felt like I was going to go nowhere and that I was better off either dead or living as a hermit in the mountains herding sheep. I had to go leave the classroom to go sob in the bathroom because I could barely keep it together when homework and test scores came around. I was absolutely drowning and it felt like no one was going to throw me a life ring.

Tbh if I knew of my ADHD diagnosis back then and saw that 5% post that would have tipped me over the edge. So that’s why it pisses me off.

So to everyone who has ADHD and is feeling absolutely devastated by that 5% post: Please don’t. This isn’t to invalidate feelings, I know it sucks and I know what it feels like to have the system stacked against you.

My advice? You don’t have to get a degree in 4 years. You don’t have to get a degree at all if you don’t want to (seriously the whole “you need to go to college to get a good job” is absolute bullshit and there are plenty of jobs out there that do pay a living wage that don’t require a college degree … trade school is also a very good option). If you’re struggling then get any help you can get - some colleges are better than others about accommodating people. Find your people and support each other.

But don’t let the 5% thing dissuade you. Many others have very thoroughly debunked it.

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

so, today i got called by two jobs with the prelim like screening call before they book an interview and tell you more about the role (both in aged care). the first one was a scheduling role, and they asked me about my strengths and areas of improvement (that i blanked on, as per usual tbh) and other questions like that. i told them my expected salary was the lowest end, 69k.... when the salary window is 69k to like 75k.

the second one wanted to up me from what i originally epplied for (another scheduling position, at $36 an hour and i give up some weekends for an on-call turn between sw sydney and where i live... and also work 7am to 7pm or 11am to 7pm [idk why they listed 2 different times tbh]).... but they instead tried to sell me on upping to a case management role aged care home care packages, which is more pay ($41/hr to $44/hr depending on experience. idk if im fit for this role bc i dont have the thorough knowledge of the (australian) aged care act and also like at least 2 years exp in aged care managing complex needs etc. what i like about this place is that they've noticed i have skills and they want me to USE them!!! unlike fucking bs cadetship workplace kept denying me while i was there.... and keep denying still even though i've left.

and im mostly iffy with this bc i KNOW that the lady i usually use as my referee from my old work will dissuade me from doing this bc "you dont actually have those skills why dont you use mary (not her real name, my old mentor from cadetship job) instead???/ but i cant trust mary to say anything nice, actually, jacqi and i CANT use my old boss bc she'll again whinge and bitch and whine that "SHE HAS THE WRONG PERSONALITY FOR ADMIN AND CASE MANAGEMENT HOW DARE YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT GIVING HER A CHANCE AT THAT!!! AND FOR HIGHER PAY TOO!! DISGUSTING!!!" but jacqi (not her real name) would be happy to do the scheduling positions, mostly bc they're like 90% admin and customer service, which are the only things she's actually happy for me to apply for.

also doesnt help that the first scheduling job place is now in the same building as shit boss, and who knows i might have to share the lift with her on her lunch break while i go for an interview (if i progress to that stage). what a fucking nightmare working for place that constantly enjoyed putting me down bc i wouldn't/won't listen SPECIFICALLY AND ONLY to them for career advice.

[mistwraiths]

3.5 stars

I was excited to read Holly Black's adult debut but ultimately, this was just very much an average book. I wasn't expecting The Cruel Prince but damn, this definitely felt more Iike a let down. I don't want to dissuade people from reading it though because despite its average-ness it didn't really feel like a chore reading it which made it better.

Let's start right off by saying I don't really understand anything to do with shadow magic. I barely understand the distinctions, the process, etc. I'm a pretty smart reader but this just wasn't explained well or concisely enough. Also, this has barely any magic/fantasy in it. It's just all very vaguely explained in small parts and we don't linger on it very long.

I honestly disliked the jumping back and forth between present Charlie and Charlie's past. In the past, it just kind of tells you how she became this thief and TBH I really didn't care all that much enough to get chapters of it? It felt like every time the present story started to become interesting, it would jump to the past and all my interest that I started to develop would go down the drain. The pacing also was slow. It's 304 pages but it doesn't really feel very short.

I did actually find this book to be pretty predictable but the reading was easy enough that it didn't become boring to read.

There was only one character that was interesting and that was Vince. I really only cared about what was going on with him. Charlie was just okay but I didn't care about her, and her jumps in logic/thought were just like ????? I honestly felt her obsession with the WHY instead of the job or wanting revenge or anything else was weird. Like if you make so many bad decisions, why do you care? I guess it did lead her eventually to it but still, it just seemed odd. Posey is... uh, there??

I could have done without the mentioned incest part.

I did really like the last 50 pages of the book, I feel like it really picked up. The ending was actually okay, interesting, but didn't break my heart or was particularly painful. Although I'd argue that if he forgot, then how did he remember Charlie in the first place after he forgot for the first time? Did it come back eventually?? Idk but it'll be interesting where the next book goes.

I'm intrigued enough to read the next book but I'm not going out of my way to get a SE of it or anything. It was a decent read, like 3.5. But I'm not like DYING for the next part. If I never read the second book I wouldn't feel like I'm missing out.

[arielsodyssey]

what did you get up to this weekend?

Tbh, nothing you’d probably find interesting, anon 😬 I applied for jobs in case I don’t get this promotion I applied for… did some cleaning, grocery shopping, took some selfies (even left one up this time lol), did some reading, slept in… I’m getting old, I’m broke, I live in a city I’m unfamiliar with, and I’m introverted, so… I don’t really have a lot of fun activities planned rn, anon. Just trying to keep it together tbh 😅

BUT, thank you for sending anons!! 😃 I hope my boring answer doesn’t dissuade you from sending more lol 💖

[thebibliosphere]

So I'm currently unemployed because I got fired for taking too much sick leave (it was legally sketchy blah blah blah but in the end I just can't work and take care of myself and investigate my mystery health problems at the same time). So I've been spending more time writing!

I really admire your writing and loved Hunger Pangs. I'm looking forward to the poly elements developing and I'm wondering if you have any advice for writing about poly. I've made one of my projects a snarky take on "write what you know" ... Apparently what I know is southern gothic meets Pacific northwest gothic, chronic illness pandemic surrealism, and falling back-asswards into threesomes.

I know this is a very open-ended question and I don't expect an answer, I'm just curious about it if you have the energy. As a writer, trying to write honestly / realistically about polyamory/enm, I'm curious if you have any thoughts on what's different about portraying monogamy or nonmonogamy in books, romance or erotica or otherwise.

I'm trying to read examples but it's hard to find examples that fit the niche I'm looking at. Excuse me if this question is nonsense, it's the cluster headaches.

I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with all that and solidarity on the cluster headaches. But I'm glad you're finding an outlet through writing! And I hope you're happy with an open-ended ramble in response because oh boy, there's a lot I could talk about and I could probably do a better job of answering this sort of thing with more specific questions, but let's see where we end up.

There's definitely a big difference between writing polyamory/ENM (ethical non-monogamy) and what people often expect from monogamous love stories.

Just even from a purely sales and marketing standpoint, the moment you write anything polyamorous (or even just straight up LGBTQIA+ without the ENM) you're going to get considered closer to being erotica/obscene than hetero romances. It's an unfair bias, but it's one that exists in our society. But also the Amazon algorithm and their shitty, shitty human censors. Especially the ones that work the weekends. (Talking to you, Carlos 🖕.)

So not only do you start out hyper-aware that you're writing something that is highly stigmatized or fetishized (at least I'm hyper-aware) but that you are also writing for a niche market that is starving for positive content because the content that exists is either limited, not what they want, or is problematic in some fashion i.e. highly stigmatized or fetishy. And even then, the wants, desires, and expectations of the community you're writing for are complex and wildly varied and hard to fit into an easy formula.

When writing monogamous love stories, there is a set expectation that’s really hard to fuck up once you know it. X person meets Y. Attraction happens, followed by some sort of minor conflict/resolution. Other plot may happen. A greater catalyst involving personal growth for both parties (hopefully) happens. Follow the equation to its ultimate resolution and achieve Happily Ever After. 

But writing ENM is... a lot more difficult, if only because of the pure scope of possibilities. You could try to follow the same equation and shove three (or more) people into it, but it rarely works well. Usually because if you’re doing it right, you won’t have enough room in a single character arc to allow for enough growth, and if ENM requires anything in abundance, it’s room to grow.

And this post is huge so I’m going to put the rest under a cut :)

There's also a common refrain in certain online polyam/ENM circles that triads and throuples are overrepresented in media and they may be right to some extent. Personally, I believe the issue isn't that triads and throuples are overrepresented, but that there is such minuscule positive rep of ethical non-monogamy in general, that the few tiny instances we have of triads in media make it seem like it's "everywhere" when in actuality, it's still quite rare and the media we do have often veers into Unicorn Hunter fetish porn. Which is its own problematic thing. And just to be clear, I’m not including this part to dissuade you from writing "falling back-asswards into threesomes." If anything, I need more of it and would hook it directly into my brain if I could. I'm just throwing it out there into the void in the hope that someone will take the thought and run with it, lol.

I’d love to see more polyfidelitous rep in fiction, just as much as I’d like to see more relationship anarchy too. More diversity in fiction is always good.

Another thing that differs in writing ENM romance vs conventional monogamy is the feeling like you need to justify yourself. There's a lot of pressure to be as healthy and non-problematic as possible because you are being held to a higher standard of criticism. Both from people from without the ENM communities, and from the people within. Granted, some people don't give a shit and just want to read some fantastic porn (valid) but there are those who will cheerfully read Fifty Shades of Bullshit and call it "spicy" and "romantic," then turn around and call the most tooth-rottingly-sweet-fluff about a queer platonic polycule heresy. That's just the way the world works.

(Pro-tip for author life in general: never read your own reviews; that way madness lies. I glimpsed one the other day that tagged Hunger Pangs as “ethical cheating” and just about had an aneurism.)

And while that feeling of needing to justify yourself comes from a valid place of being excluded from the table of socially accepted norms, it can also be to the detriment of both the story and the subject matter at hand. I've seen some authors bend so far over backward to avoid being problematic in their portrayal of ENM, they end up being problematic for entirely different reasons. Usually because they give such a skewed, rose-tinted perspective of how things work, it ends up coming off as well... a bit culty and obnoxious tbh.

“Look how enlightened we are, freed from the trappings of monogamy and jealousy! We’re all so honest and perfect and happy!”

Yeah, uhu, sure Jan. Except here’s the thing, not all jealousy is bad. How you act on it can be, but jealousy itself is an important tool in the junk drawer that is the range of human emotion. It can clue us in to when we’re feeling sad or neglected, which in turn means we should figure out why we’re feeling those things. Sometimes it’s because brains are just like that and anxiety is a thing. Other times it’s because our needs are actually being neglected and we are in an unhealthy situation we need to remedy. You gotta put the work in to figure it out. Which is the same as any style of relationship, whether it’s mono, polyam or whatever flavor of ENM you subscribe to* And sometimes you just gotta be messy, because that’s how humans are. Being afraid to show that mess makes it a dishonest portrayal, and it also robs you of some great cannon fodder for character development.

Which brings me in a roundabout way to my current pet peeve in how certain writers take monogamous ideals and apply them to ENM, sometimes without even realizing it. The “Find the Right Person and Settle Down” trope.

Often, in this case, ENM or polyamory is treated as a phase. Something you mature out of with age or until you meet “The One(tm).” This is, of course, an attempt to follow the mono style formula expected in most romances. And while it might appeal to many readers, it’s uh, actually quite insulting. 

To give an example, I am currently seeing this a lot in the Witcher fandom. 

Fanon Netflix!Jaskier is everyone's favorite ethical slut until he meets Geralt then woops, wouldn’t you know, he just needed to find The One(tm). Suddenly, all his other sexual and romantic exploits or attractions mean nothing to him. Let's watch as he throws away a core aspect of his personality in favor of a man. 

Yeah... that sure showed those societal norms... 

If I were being generous, I’d say it’s a poor attempt at showing New Relationship Euphoria and how wrapped up people can become in new relationships. But honestly, it’s monogamous bias eking its way in to validate how special and unique the relationship is. Because sometimes people really can’t think of any other way to show how important and valid a relationship is without defining it in terms of exclusivity. Which is a fundamental misunderstanding of how ENM works for a lot of people and invalidates a lot of loving, serious and long-term relationships.

This is not to say that some polyam/poly-leaning people can't be happy in monogamous relationships! I am! (I consider myself ambiamorous. I'm happy with either monogamy or polyamory, it really just depends on the relationship(s) I’m in.) But I also don't regard my relationship with a mono partner as "settling down" or "growing up." It's just a choice I made to be with a person I love, and it's a valid one. Just like choosing to never close yourself off to multiple relationships is valid. And I wish more people realized that, or rather, I wish the people writing these things knew that :P

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled enough. I hope this collection of incoherent thoughts actually makes some sense and might be useful. 

----

*A good resource book that doesn't pull any punches in this regard is Polysecure by Jessica Fern. It's a wonderfully insightful read that explores the messier side of consensual non-monogamy, especially with how it can be affected by trauma or inter-relationship conflicts. But it also shows how to take better steps toward healthy, ethical non-monogamy (a far better job than More Than Two**) and conflict resolution, making it a valuable resource both for someone who is a part of this relationship style***, but also for writers on the outside looking in who might have a very simple or misguided idea of what conflict within polyam/ENM relationships might look like, vs traditional monogamous ones.

** The author of More Than Two has been accused of multiple accounts of abuse within the polyamorous community, with many of his coauthors having spoken out about the gaslighting and emotional and psychological damage they experienced while in a relationship with him. A lot of their stories are documented here: https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com/ (warning: it is not light material and deals with issues of abuse, gaslighting, and a whole other plethora of Yikes.) While some people still find More Than Two helpful reading, there are now, thankfully, much, much better resources out there.

*** Some people consider polyam/ENM to be part of their identity or orientation, while others view it as a relationship style.It largely depends on the individual. 

[ectonurites]

bitimdrake(.)tumblr(.)com/post/658085059421749248/ i feel like this post does a really good job at covering the issues in how the whole steph/tim conflict was portrayed in canon, especially since fans who use either rr or bg as starter books end up with no context and we end up with so much tension between fans of both characters. bg 2009 is my favorite batgirl run but i can’t deny that there was a little bit of irresponsible storytelling every so often in it from the writers standpoint

Oh yeah big agree. I've also def talked about this before a few months ago (im. i make too many posts and i barely tag them so finding tht would be a nightmare but I distinctly remember talking abt this) but it's just... such a super messy situation overall.

in general i always just wanna dissuade people from starting with Batman Reborn era stuff (so Red Robin, Batgirl, and even Dick & Damian's Batman and Robin run too tbh) because all of it builds on so much stuff that while sure you can follow along without the context, it can just give such false first impressions that can be hard to pull away from once they're what you're used to.

[atamascolily]

lily reads “Aftermath: Life Debt” by Chuck Wendig

This was one of the first nu-canon novels to come out in 2016, meant to fill the gap between Return of the Jedi and The Force Awakens. So far, all of the nu-canon stuff has been readable (unlike, say, some of Legends’ more memorable failures) but I was pleasantly surprised to find that Wendig’s writing is the most exciting and engaging I have encountered to date.

The problem is, of course, that he keeps using it to accomplish things I disagree with, but I am sure he did the best he could within the constraints Disney gave him and I don’t take it personally.

Anyway, I had to skip the first Aftermath book because it’s AWOL from the library right now, but fortunately, Wendig is pretty good about explaining How We Got Here without huge infodumps, so I got oriented pretty fast.

This book is written in present tense, which also surprised me. Even though I have read several pro-published novels that use present tense, I’m still not used to seeing it outside of fanfic, and it feels delightfully novel. I like present tense because it encourages concrete verbs, as well as a sense of immediacy and groundedness in the action (which is one reason I use it in fics). Present tense forces me to be a better writer precisely because it doesn’t come naturally. But I also enjoy it as a reader. 

Life Debt is set immediately post-Battle of Endor in 5 ABY. Leia is a few months pregnant. Luke is name-dropped a few times, but never appears. (Sigh.) Han is upset that the New Republic is dragging its feet on liberating Kashyyyk and he and Chewie decide to take matters into their own hands. When things go wrong, Leia asks Wendig’s OC Nora Wexley and her crew to bring him back.

Nora Wexley was one of the Y-wing pilots at the Battle of Endor. Now she roams the galaxy hunting Imperials for New Republic bounty, with a motley assortment of beings. There’s Sinjir, ex-Imperial and gay; Jas Emari, a Zabrak bounty hunter; and Jom Barell, who didn’t have any defining personality traits that stuck in my mind outside of his on-again, off-again friends-with-benefits with Jas;. There’s also her teenage son Temmin “Snap” Wexley and the refurbished battle droid he built as a personal bodyguard, Mr. Bones. Mr. Bones is an unrepentant murderbot and utterly delightful, especially when he tries to “blend in” by being more human.

More backstory: Nora joined the Rebellion after her husband Brentin was imprisoned by the Empire and presumed dead. Nora and Wedge have a thing as well. Mon Mothma is chancellor of the New Republic, and Leia is... I’m not sure what her official title is.

Meanwhile, on Team Empire, there’s Grand Admiral Rae Sloane, ostensibly in charge of a large slice of the Imperial Remnant, but who is being manipulated--to her deep resentment--by a man named Gallius Rax with ties to both Palpatine and Jakku. Sloane tortured Wedge in the previous book and Nora is frustrated she didn’t kill the Grand Admiral when she had the chance.

There’s also a hilarious sequence where the guy running Coruscant tries to surrender and Mon Mothma and Leia refuse because he doesn’t have anything they especially want.

In addition to the main plot, there are also short chapters titled “Interludes” showing various doings in the wider galaxy. I think a lot of these are supposed to be tie-ins for other material because they mostly don’t have any relevance to the current storyline. There’s one about a Vader-inspired death cult on Corellia, a pirate queen named Eleodie, Alderaanians mining asteroids from their former homeland and arguing about politics, Twi’leks freeing Ryloth, Malakili the ex-rancor-keeper gets a new job training a baby Hutt (?? - would have liked to hear more about that one!). I like the one about Maz Kanata’s castle, even though it still makes NO SENSE in terms of world-building.

I like Sinjir’s relationship with his slicer boyfriend, and I like that from his perspective, it’s not that the Empire particularly cares about homosexuality per se, (as long as you’re discreet about it), but the Empire uses relationships to manipulate and control people, so being open about them is a form of weakness. Just brings home the point that the Empire is a piece of shit (which is why it’s so hard for me to care about Rae Sloane or any of the scheming on Team Empire).

I don’t think I like Sinjir as a person, mind you, but he is certainly interesting, and he has no illusions that he’s a good guy, even though he’s now working against the Empire.

Also, there’s a bounty hunter named Mercurial Swift, which is the most metal name ever, and cameos from Brendol Hux, who ran some sort of boarding school, and whose bastard son is name-dropped occasionally.

No one will be surprised that my favorite scene is Leia meditating next to a sanctuary tree sapling on Chandrila she grew from a seed that Wicket gave her, and she touches the Force for the first time, and realizes that her child is a boy. Nice.

Anyway, Nora and her team find Solo--Chewbacca is a prisoner on Kashyyk when their rebellion attempt failed--and they sneak into a prison called Ashmead’s Lock on Kashyyyk, which happens to be where Nora’s husband Brentin has been this whole time! The prisoners have been stuck in stasis pods and mined for energy in a Matrix-like scenario that really should have been explored more, but they bust out, with Nora taking the prisoners home and Han and Chewie continuing to lead the rebellion.

Time skip! Brentin is distant and has PTSD, Snap is angry and acting out, Nora feels guilty because she’s attracted to Wedge and she isn’t able to connect with her husband anymore. Wedge is, of course, heartbroken.

Sloane comes to Chandrila for peace talks, and Leia leaves to go after Han on Kashyyk when Mon Mothma refuses to back her up. She ends up getting Wedge to come with her for back-up, and her pilot is Evaan Verlaine from the comics (nice to see you Evaan!)

Meanwhile, the Empire continues to be a piece of shit on Kashyyyk, and it’s way more graphic than I expected this book to go. They get what’s coming to them eventually, when Han and his team disable the chips that are keeping all the Wookiees prisoner. 

The peace talks turn out to be a trap engineered by Gallius Rax--all of the prisoners from Kashyyyk are brainwashed to start murdering people at the big ceremony and Mon Mothma narrowly avoids assassination at Brentin’s hands thanks to Nora’s quick reflexes. Sloane escapes, is super-pissed about being manipulated yet again by Rax, and she and Brentin (who also wants revenge) go to Jakku to follow up on a lead about Rax’s past.

Han ends up stealing a Star Destroyer, and Leia saves the day, and they finally kiss and make up and it’s lovely. Han leaves Chewie behind on Kashyyyk to be with Leia. Norra and her remaining team members go after Sloane.

But the biggest disappointment, of course, is the New Republic’s inability to liberate Kashyyyk, which I think epitomizes the difference between Disney’s version of Star Wars and Legends for me. In Legends, it was never a question that our heroes would liberate Kashyyyk; that was important and the entire point of the Rebellion. Even though it happened more or less off-screen, it was mentioned and cited as proof of the New Republic’s victory and triumph. So to see Mon Mothma and Ackbar trying to dissuade Leia from this is just... wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. Like I said, I think Wendig’s hands were tied on this one, but it just... lands wrong. It will never not feel wrong. Is it grittier and more “realistic” this way? Maybe, but what is the point?

Overall,  this is an action-packed adventure, with lots of good moments and funny bits that feel very much “Star Wars” to me. The interludes range from fan service-y to “hey, that’s neat, tell me more!” to  “wow, is there going to be a payoff for this years down the line?” In general, I find Disney Star Wars depressing as hell, but despite the downers I enjoyed this book much more than I expected. Like I said at the beginning, this is probably the best nu!canon thing I’ve read to date outside of the Shattered Empire comics. 

I came to like most of Wendig’s OCs, even though I’d really rather read about characters I already know--like, say, Luke! Imagine that!

(I don’t know why Disney thinks we’re not interested in what Luke’s doing, but tbh they write him so poorly when they bother that I’m not really sure I want them to.)

[mnogogrannik]

(with my 3rd time the charm prayer) would u talk about pathos ask number one ... and seven ! thank you for curating so nicely always.. *putting 💋 on tragedian mask

*receiving kiss with extreme pride* im so glad your ask finally made it to me.. got through tumblr’s labyrinth....

1. How did you get into Pathologic in the first place? Did you play it or watch someone else play it? so! way back in like.. i think it must have been sometime in 2015-2017 but i actually found pathologic’s tvtropes page while just browsing around and i found it really interesting, but the way it was described sounded really difficult and scary to me (i remember the “oblivion but with cancer” description in particular lol i thought it would be a lot more combat based) so i never looked into it. fastforward to january 2020 when i finally watched the hbomb pathologic video after discussing his work with a few people. i do regret that that was my introduction to the series bc of how much of the story it spoils, and how much it dissuades people from trying classic - i actually got a tension headache the first time i heard him describe it because it sounded so stressful LOL - but hey! it is an entertaining video even if i disagree with it a lot now. from there, i started checking out jack saint’s blind playthrough of bachelor run - then classic went on sale and YOU bought it for me mwah.. and it’s been 9 months and i’ve infected several people and brought them into this pit with me ❤️ looking forward to 9 more! i have literally only just started pathologic 2 so i’ve been majorly fucked up over this series and i’m not even done with it yet LOL

7. How do you feel about the characters’ changes (in personality, aesthetics, etc.) in 2? Is there a specific thing you really like? One you really dislike? in general tbh i prefer the characters as they appear in classic. a lot of the assets are reused (specifically hairstyles) but i don’t really like a lot of the changes they made to character designs in 2. especially for the women... a lot of them feel more “feminized” than in classic idk how to describe it but like. where is butch yulia, where is the trousers lara from the artbook, why doesn’t katerina have wrinkles. i miss a lot of the charm the character models from classic have.. also saba has no bell on the back of her outfit anymore so that’s -10000 imo. i do really like clara’s design though! the whole concept behind her of saint vs diseased is really really fun to work with and having her be bald reinforces that visually in a very impactful way. anna angel’s design is very fun and cozy, i’d love to nap in that big coat thing... annnnd maria’s dress really slaps, the red-on-red and the little shawl she has.. *chefs kiss* i prefer the characters in classic personality wise too... i feel like it’s a little unfair to 2 to compare them in that regard since it only has haruspex route at the moment but from first impressions i do like the directions they went with the characters in classic more. i do appreciate the addition of the apple basket gang though... the theme of fleeting childhood is backed up well with the reunion (or dissolution!) of a group of childhood friends. i’m interested to see what the change in perspective will bring, as they add other routes.. i’m especially interested to see what they’ll do with the kains!!

i also really hate the english voice acting in 2 LOL sorry but i think all of it is so ill-fitting and they did a way better job making all the voices fit when they had like 5 voice actors and a paperclip to work with....

oh and they’re only kind of characters but i really like the way the tragedians are utilised in 2. they’re perfect for putting in funny poses or miming things so i’m really glad that’s more of an aspect they got in-game, rather than in classic where they do most of that just in the pantomime cutscenes. funny little creature win!

[delovelie]

A boring adult post about boring adult things

Financial advice people talk about having long-term savings goals, like big things you want to have the money for in X years. And I’ve been getting a lot better about squirreling money into savings, but sometimes I do wonder, what for? I don’t have any goal I’m working toward here.

Buy a house? ... like, so I’m stuck in one place and if I want to move cities/countries, forget it? And be stuck fixing everything myself when it breaks down? No thanks.

Wedding? *laughs bitterly all the way into the ether*

For having kids? Definitely not something I want.

Other big purchase like a car? Okay, I guess a car might come in handy someday, but I hate driving and and the longer I can avoid it the better. I’d sooner go for a boat tbh, that’d be neat.

I suppose I could do a lot of traveling, I do like that.

But today it occurred to me: One of my friends recently quit her job and is going all in with her art full time, and honestly I’m a little envious? To have the guts to up and leave traditional employment to try and make a living doing things you’re passionate about? Even if it doesn’t work out as a career, you’re still able to devote all your time creating for a while? Sounds incredible. I’ve always said I wanted to be a writer, but I’m never brave enough to actually go for it. Lately, I haven’t been doing writing at all (partially because covid basically shut me down and I haven’t really recovered, but partially because I’m so dissuaded by my lack of any writerly accomplishments)

So maybe that’s what I’m saving for. Maybe that’s what I want. To quit my job for a while, and just... spend an entire year on writing and other random pursuits. Maybe that will finally be the piece my life is missing, to feel like I’ve genuinely done something.

[monsterparade]

I posted about this on fb but then remembered some of my MN friends have parents still in touch w/ my mom so I didn’t want to risk getting narked on lmfao.

I have been seriously weighing on whether or not it would be a good idea to pursue home ownership. On one hand, it’d be a big financial commitment and frankly, commitments (save for ones involving pets) are.... not my strong suit. That being said, things have a different context when you’re poor and I’ve only ever rented housing, and because I have pets and am poor, it’s basically been flushing money down the toilet to live in shitty, ramshackle, mold or rodent infested housing because slumlords are the only ones ever willing to let me have my pets--which I have to pay deposits for. I can’t afford rent over $600 at absolute maximum so it would sound on the surface like home ownership is not feasible. 

However. So for a house I saw online in an area I’m looking into, if I qualified for one of the loan programs for first time, low income home buyer (and tbh, I would), I could likely get approved for a 3% down payment and on that specific example house, would be about $2700. Add in some other fees and it would be probably $3000 -5000 give or take 

To find another rental, based on what I am seeing price-wise for pet friendly housing, with having to pay 1st and last month’s rent, a damage deposit and a pet deposit, I’d probably end up having to fork over $2000 to move into a rental. So tbh it’s not a huge enough of a cost difference to entirely dissuade me from the purchase idea.

I’m going to set up one of the special savings accounts people on disability can have that don’t affect their payments (I had to fucking find out about that on my own btw since no one in my assistance network bothered to tell me!!!!)  and starting next week am going to start looking for freelance/open submission work and temp jobs and bust out my arts/crafts supplies because I KNOW I could make $$ with my creativity if I apply myself. I don’t want to dive into something major without thinking about it a lot and I am going to see how much money I am able to save first before I decide but one of the biggest issues for me has been that I am pretty tight fisted with my money and prefer to save it as much as possible, but with SSI, you aren’t allowed to save your money past a certain point or they dock your funds, or straight up eliminate them. Since no one told me there was a special savings plan specifically for people on disability, I haven’t been able to save money and have been living from payment to payment. If I get one of those ABLE plans though, I can save $$ again and if I make money through self employment that gets sent to my ABLE account, I don’t think it gets counted against me. SO. If I’m smart and play my cards right.......... :0c

[scottsflow]

My take is still that they are hopefully exploring something more with each other, because I think they owe it to themselves to at least give it a try when they have such a special relationship. I just can't get over Scott's denial on the podcast as I don't think he would lie like that to someone he respects and when he was so emotionally honest in rest of interview. I would love for them to be together but I can't believe it just yet. Did fans also think they were together despite denials bf?

For the most part yes, people did believe them before. For one thing, they were almost always in relationships before and that wasn't a secret. But also they didn't act like they do now. They do stuff now that they've never done before and they act like a couple, talk like a couple, and look at each other like a couple. That's really what has made people not believe them because their actions do not match their words what so ever.

Again, the denials are what they are. It wouldn't surprise me if the guy doing the interview knows they are together tbh. He didn't bring up that part of their relationship or ask Scott about it once which is telling. Scott brought it up on his own in what he probably thought was a move to try and dissuade people from thinking that they are together but he did an awful job lmao.

In that same interview he gushes about Tessa and calls her the most amazing women he's ever met. I mean how do you even begin to be with someone else when you've already got the most amazing women you've ever met by your side? Not to mention, the part where he talks about Mike Babcock's advice that you can have everything is so telling to me. He sounds so excited when he says he learned that he can have everything post sochi and what else could he be talking about but Tessa? Sure the Olympics but they already had a gold at that point and it wasn't like anyone was stopping them from coming back to skating so I really do think that was the thing he was afraid of pursing and he finally did and it has made him so happy.

[greesngrass-archive-blog]

DOMINIC GREENGRASS is NEUTRAL in the war, even though HIS official job is as A MEMBER OF THE WIZENGAMOT. the TWENTY EIGHT year old PUREBLOOD is known to be DILIGENT and ASTUTE but also PRUDENT and DELIBERATELY IGNORANT. some might label them as THE JUDICIOUS fc: charlie cox

dominic tiberius greengrass is the youngest of three waaaaay too rich children

his mother, brigid, was an herbologist better known for her best selling books. the estate’s gardens and greenhouse are her life’s work and joy, and all three greengrass boys share fond memories of spending time with her in them, learning about it all even when they didn’t care, being forced to nurture pots of plants in hopes to turn them into responsible people. she still has a small army of handpicked herbologists and gardeners working for her, making her greenhouse and gardens a true paradise and place of research, and focuses on that mostly nowadays

roland greengrass, his father, left his position as chief warlock of the wizengamot three years ago, and has been working on a book ever since, yet to be finished. he’s been considering looking for a high position in some wizarding school, maybe ilvermorny, but has not made up his mind yet. he truly instilled in his children a sense of hard work, strict planning and following the law. oh, and he’s got an order of merlin, first class. quite the legacy to live up to.

the elder brother, sebastian, is a diplomat. the middle child, nathaniel, a well traveled herbologist, who owns his own research center. they are all very busy, and the oldest two already well married, with a few children. the three try to keep in touch, reuniting monthly at the main family estate for a weekend or so, and they also send each other letters?? cute

he’s so proud to be a greengrass all the time tbh like yeS I AM slightly better than u i am a greengrass pls

the greengrass family doesn’t have a history of joining extremist groups, but they are well integrated into pureblood high society, and a part of the sacred 28. they’ve always held positions of power and rivers of money, and are especially skilled in the art of arranged marriages, something that has made their ties to the rest of the wizarding society so much stronger. marrying a greengrass or into the greengrasses means a life of family protection, luscious estates and travels, a name of power and a spot in the lovely grey area between blood purists and blood traitor families, appeasing both sides just enough

it came as no surprise for him when, a couple of years ago, they started looking for someone. it’s been a long process, dom usually only involved when they needed a final yes or no, and he said lots of no’s until jacqueline showed up. a quick conversation, a dinner the next day, and the choice felt pretty easy. after all, worked for generations, why wouldn’t it work on him? so he’s now betrothed to jacqueline nott !!!!

so far it’s been A Gift honestly?? he?? has so much in common with her and it’s been so fun and niCE it’s something so calming and certain?? the future doesn’t seem as scary anymore??? help

he was always told to not get in the way of blood purists, but to not shun them away, and he still lives by that. ignores the war away, and never encourages the D.E.s (extremists are never a good thing). the only thing he follows is the law, as closely as possible 

he was sorted into slytherin but honestly the hat took a few extra minutes because it was almost a tie between that and hufflepuff. 

has retinitis pigmentosa, which pretty much means that he started losing some sight as a child, like the ability to adjust to different lighting or walking around at night, and tunnel vision, and gradually has been losing more and more of it (he was officially diagnosed when he was 12). as of right now, he barely has any left, so he’s legally blind (mostly just notices light, it’s reflections, flames). doesn’t talk about it. ignore ur problems awaaay

he truly is a fan of ignoring everything that’s serious when it comes to him. things are never really dealt with but shh

hogwarts is not the most disability-friendly school, although it’s improving but also, it was the 60s, so as his eyesight diminished the school’s measures weren’t really enough. he BROKE his right leg in 6th year in a moving staircase and the greengrasses immediately SUED the school, forcing it to rush improvement. his disability could never be a stop on his path, the greengrasses always made sure of it. 

but also, even if it’s the 60s and wizard society is very separated from muggle technology, there needs to be some stuff available for visually impaired people so i'm just gonna fill in all the gaps canon left - there is a spell that turns any writing into braille, another that turns braille typing into writing. both are very very advanced spells, and don’t always work 100%. 

uses muggle things like braille typewriters (they were still super nosy in the 60s-80s so his was charmed to not make a lot of it) and talking calculators. his parents got him a mobility instructor as soon as his diagnostic was made and his lack of vision was enough to justify it, aka someone who taught him how to adapt, how to move without crashing into things, how to properly use a cane. that greengrass money also paid for the best braille tutors possible, which he started learning right after his diagnostic since they knew it would only get worse. a braille tutor followed him to hogwarts during the school months too, coming in for a bit every day to keep helping him with braille and later on just to print over his work, made in braille, so that teachers could read it and mark it. eventually the tutor stopped coming, as he perfected the spell that turned his work into regular writing.

doesn’t care for the war. he greengrass especially are a family of rich well connected people who don’t engage in the most extreme views of the rest, so he was never raised with a specific hatred

ppl at school couldn’t make him develop that view either. he nodded along in order to not start shit and tried to dissuade them from the more intense stuff

never starts shit. so self aware of his words and what they’ll do

the Wise and Responsible friend

doesn’t let loose enough

dom’s great at charms?? his best subject tbh. 

will try to fix everything all the time???? always has. whenever a problem arises, he’s there, trying to make sure you don’t even need to think about it

he’s?? kind. he’s a kind person. he was always The Softer Friend, the one who gave silent hugs when all others did was act stoic, the one who never got any of the jokes and laughed for minutes after they were explained to him, the slightly socially awkward kind friend who had everyone’s backs but also gave them shit about their snobbier attitudes and mocked their speech patterns and was the jokingly asshole-ish slytherin friend you’d expect

has been rising the ranks inside of the ministry, usually in the offices nearer to the minister. just got a job at the wizengamot, being one of the youngest there !!

likes his job? quite a bit? he liked the administrative stuff before, and then the powerful political roles, but he finds the law much more interesting, and is very open about much needed reforms in the british magical judiciary system. he’s so far from the revolutionary type, he just wants,,,, soft changes. pls fix this broken system.

he’s also good at it?? homeboi gives Good Speeches when he needs to convince his fellow wizengamot ppl, and he always pays so much attention and notices tiny details and logic flaws, plotholes - u can’t escape dominic justice. 

people suspect he only has it because of his family’s influence, which kinda fucks him up mentally because he questions himself and his work and position in the world a lot. 

he loves music so much?? any type of music. muggle, wizard, british, international, even when he can’t understand the words. can often be seen dancing. it’s like awkward dad dancing but?? endearing. if he’s in a good mood, there’s loud music playing in his house and he’s grooving around

dom definitely enjoys the lavish lifestyle his family money and his own now can provide him. wears the best clothes, lives in an expensive but small house, enjoys his vacations in Style™, like my man has that greengrass trademark money and knows how to spend it

loves buying people gifts??? takes a long time picking them too

he’s the kind of person that would take in his friends in danger into his house and hide them, but have a serious lecture ready for them the next day. probably tell them they need to find somewhere else to stay since they’re there bc shady stuff. BUT HE’LL TAKE THEM IN

he’s alecto and amycus’s cousin?? how fun?? also somewhat related to the blacks and lestranges bc pureblood families?? all related lbr

parallels: randall pearson (this is us), george o'malley (grey’s anatomy), leo fitz (agents of shield), chloe decker (lucifer), simon lewis (shadowhunters), ravi chakrabarti (izombie)

[141-point-12]

happy valentines day! 💕ok so! lets ignore that hal and dave both totally wouldnt care abt stuff like v day, how do you think they would spend it?

Waii! Thank you so much! I was afk today because I had MEETINGS followed by lots of EATINGS, so I apologize for not getting to this sooner, but I was thinking about it during all the festivities. ^^

Since you didn’t specify an AU I assume we’re talking about canon Dave and Hal? ^^ If we are (for the sake of argument) going to assume it blipped on their radar at all, it’s kind of cute to me to imagine the ways the day might have changed over the years.

That first Valentine’s day would have been just under a year since their first meeting at Shadow Moses. Logically they would have been living and working together for several months, and starting to build a real friend/partnership. I think there might have been a little bit of a “well of course I’m attracted to Snake, he’s attractive” vibe coming from Hal but it would still be very “that’s silly though, we have a job to do and also we’re friends and that’s the end of it haha, man sometimes my imagination runs away from me...” But TBH by that point I think they’re well into the zone of “platonic signs of affection” like shoulder touching etc. Maybe Hal worries a little bit about making extra sure on V-Day that he doesn’t do anything that might be perceived as a come on or anything, it’s still way early days. But it would be cute if Dave picked up discount chocolate a day or two later because it was cheap and one or both of them have a sweet tooth. XD

A few years down the line (let’s say year 3 or so) when they’re “together” they probably don’t go in for a lot of the usual holiday stuff, but at the same time I think Dave might be the sort to stop and think “What’s the point of breaking your back to save the world if you don’t enjoy it a little” and try to think of ways he can bring a little bit of humanity into their lives. I can imagine the date slipping by Hal’s notice, and Dave doesn’t say anything outright, but maybe he makes a nicer dinner than usual, pries Hal away from the computer without saying why, and insists that he really, really wants to watch that show Hal was telling him about a few weeks ago. Just makes a point of spending some quality time together. It’s probably a week or two later that Hal puts the pieces together and it gives him a funny kind of warm feeling.

Later still, I like to imagine Dave sleeping in (he does that more and more these days) while Hal and Sunny do their best to be sneaky and wake up early to make a special breakfast. Hal manages to dissuade Sunny from making eggs by enticing her with pancakes (from a mix) and they chop fresh fruit and there’s even nice orange juice and they clean the good coffee cups and make quite a racket, but Dave just smiles and turns in bed, pretending to still be asleep. Sunny cheerfully presents breakfast in bed while Hal watches from the doorway but soon enough the three of them are all eating together and maybe a little bit of syrup ends up on the blankets- they’ll have to do laundry later that day- but the pancakes are pretty fluffy and the coffee has that wonderful coffee smell and Sunny wiggles a piece of bacon for the dog who is being very patient and it’s good and it’s home and it’s love.