#like even longer than the average oprec

[rueria]

hortus de escapismo word vomit bc i cant seem to get this event outta my head apparently

i don't know who and how many exactly in the monastery were influenced by arturia, maybe her arts made the non-sarkaz more on-edge towards the sarkaz as a reflection of their hidden frustrations. maybe delfina and fortuna could have resolved things more calmly if it wasn't for her music. if she wasn't there, maybe clement wouldn't have submitted to his despair so soon. or maybe not.

i believe what happened in the monastery wasn't her fault (the root cause here is laterano's status quo, among other things), she "just" accelerated it. what happened would've probably still happened. and it's not like removing one's inhibitions and showing their truest emotions is inherently destructive. the abbot prepared the communion bread, but at the last moment he decided not to bring it to the last mass. i believe that was his true desire.

honestly, what i find curious is executor's single-mindedness in trying to apprehend her. and i do remember that he blames her, saying something like "once again, your actions have led to deaths" (non-verbatim)

idk, i also think her arts are dangerous, but that dangerous that he almost drops everything else the moment he recognizes her cello? and what i find ironic is that, he essentially watched clement kill himself. he tried to dissuade him, yes, but he ultimately respected his choice. is it because he knew, as someone who knows arturia's arts more than anyone else, that *this* was what clement really wanted to do, and he couldn't bring himself to interfere?

what does he really think about arturia and her arts? federico isn't prejudiced the way other sankta are, he just enforces the law to the letter (and for that matter, why *does* he do that? i doubt it's just bc it's his job?). does he view arturia as urgently dangerous because she's a major threat to the law, aka the status quo? if thats the case, isn't it strange that he seems to be the only one who's that dedicated to catching her? mr. oren "preserve laterano's greatness" argiolas was more concerned about protecting laterano-leithanien relations over her. maybe bc he's the only one who understands how powerful her arts are? then, how does he react when he finds out that she's [redacted]? can ZH pls come faster

anyway uh back to arturia, i don't think arturia is evil but i do think she's wrong. wrong in that i personally can't agree with her on principle. i don't think what she wants is bad or evil tbh, or even truly wrong. i just can't agree with it. a person's true emotions and desires aren't all a person should be. inhibitions, while they can be limiting, are also just as much part of a person as their truest emotions. it's like putting a person in a dire and deadly situation and judging them based on their actions in those circumstances, labeling that as their true self. idk, maybe i'm misinterpreting what exactly she wants and how her arts work, or what "true emotions" even are. maybe it's because i try to think what would happen if *i* listened to her music and i feel like i'd probably do things i'd regret.

well, ZH should probably answer a lot of my questions about arturia. but it seems to me that it'd be a long while before the laterano storyline is resolved, especially since it also concerns the sarkaz