#and tangible 😭😭😭😭😭😭
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filing taxes today
#time for the insane humiliation that comes from almost being 26 and telling a working professional that#you draw pictures and sometimes sell stickers for money.#*a CONFUSED working professional.#im not ready theres a pit in my stomach just thinking abt it#i had to semi explain to the person who helped me make the appointment yesterday and the confusion is always so. piercing#and tangible 😭😭😭😭😭😭#heeeeeeeeeeeelp#maybe this will be what motivates me to get a real job. bc i cant keep doing this. LMAO.
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armand fixating on claudia being lestat's fledgling
#crazy thing to be jealous about but u know he hates that claudia has a tangible connection to lestat and he doesn't#as if it's her fault 😭#armand#interview with the vampire#iwtvedit#edits
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eiland page..... beloved <3
#i wanted to draw him once n it turned into drawing his seasonal outfits 😭 ehe 😋#fields of mistria#fom eiland#sona#hes there. n i like how i drew him im tagging it#my art#hes been occupying most of my brainspace this week. but not in any like. tangible way. its just thinking abt him without any coherent words#or thoughts or anything really#stuck in that special sort of hell w him rn#lowkey want to do pages like this for every characterhmmmmm not now. but like eventually...#then i can put more of my memes from my mistria pin board to use :D
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I’m so glad to live in a time where the famously straight MCU has canon lesbian witches and posts things like this on their main Twitter account on international lesbian day
#this is my Roman Empire btw#agathario brianrot is SO real#wtf am I going to do when this show ends????#I’ve been an MCU fan from the beginning and it was the trenches before#again look up blackhill…#THE TRENCHES#those women never even spoke to each other I don’t think 😭😭😭😭#I still fuck with blackhill though don’t get it twisted but REAL tangible representation is just something else man#agatha all along#rio x agatha#agatha harkness#agathario#glorbie#wlw#agatha x rio#aubrey plaza#kathryn hahn
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Also we picked out a release date. It is sooner than you guys think
#text#the crew has been beta testing and helping me find errors and such in transcripts and the sort#once the lore page is done- which won't take long- and ive corrected all these little errors All Systems Are A Go.#if there are errors we missed in the testing process don't worry- there is a bug report page you can submit issues you see or run into!#its so fucking weird how TANGIBLE this is. like. its right fucking here we're here i literally cannot believe it#all these months of working 😭😭😭 it felt like it would never end#kind of sad that this was still shorter than the v2 hiatus :sideeye:#site revamp devlog
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As much as I love the idea of Charles and Edwin one day burning down st hilarions, the place of bad memories and pain for both of them, I don't think they would do that.
At first they would want to, but why wouldn't they inflict more torture on boys who might be suffering like themselves? I feel like Edwin and Charles would be ready to burn the whole place down, but something stops them...
*cue mini fic ish*
Edwin leans to watch the boarding school through the window of the attic. Painful memories flood his mind and for a moment he feels like he has been sucked into the whirlpool of his past, like he is helpless and beaten all over again-
Charles' voice jolts him out of his thoughts. "Edwin? Everything all right? "
"Yes, just... Just some rather unpleasant thoughts is all, no need to worry. "
Charles regards him with a knowing look. He knows his thoughts are not just "unpleasant", neither are his. They both tend to suppress their memories of the place when they sense the other is stressed- it's natural by now, being almost able to tune into eachothers feelings.
Charles and Edwin pour a small amount of gasoline on the wooden floor of the attic. Once the fire is set, the school will come tumbling down from above. Charles reaches into his bag to retrieve a box of matches. His hands are aquiver as he reaches into the box for a match. This one little flame will be the flame to end the torture for so many boys just like them...
"Charles?"
Edwin places a reassuring hand on his shoulder. His eyes reflect the dewy shine of gasoline as he looks at Charles with a sincere expression.
"Charles, are you quite all right? "
Charles sighs and drops the match.
"Yeah mate, just a little off... You sure we're doing the right thing? "
"Of course we are Charles- we are responsible for the demise of this dreadful school, perhaps-"
His words are cut off by a sharp in take of breath followed by harsh, gut wrenching sobs. Charles and Edwin look at each other and almost telepathically decide to stand of and go observe.
They fade through the wall to a small, closet like room. It was the old storage room from Edwin's time, when the school was smaller and they made use of the room. In the far corner, a boy, no more than 15 or 16 is convulsing with these heart breaking sobs. Each sob brings a new wave of pain that punches Edwin and Charles in the guts. Even from their vantage point behind the crouching boy, they can see the torn collar and bleeding ear. They watch as the boy breathes sharply and clutches his ribs. The sobs cease but he breathes shakily and starts to rock himself. Charles turns to Edwin to ask how they should help.
"Edwin so-"
"W-who is that? " the boy winces as he turns and stands up in the direction of the boys. From there, they can see the full damage. Bruises creeping up from his ribs to his neck where there are red marks. Blood trickles from a wound above his ear.
"I said, WHO IS THAT?! " he shouts with the little energy he has. He collapses on the floor again to resume his helpless sobs. Edwin turns Charles by the waist into the other room. In a hushed whisper he says
"He can hear us and feel us, but he can't see us. This means he's close to death but not that near. He'll recover, I should think. "
Charles leans closer.
"We have to help him. Burning the school down wouldn't help him would it mate? Perhaps he is just like me, please..."
He swallows as memories threaten to rise. Edwin gives him a look, which means that in this case Charles' idea is the right one. They step back into the other room.
"So, mate don't worry-" Charles begins. He is cut off by the sobs immediately stopping and the boy spluttering through pain:
"It's you again. SHOW YOURSELF! " the boy's confusion melts into anger as he tenses into a rigid stance, pushed right back into the corner.
"We're not here to hurt you. We just want to know if we can help you, 'kay? "
The boy's tired eyes begin to shine with vulnerability as he let's down his guard. Being defensive like that is exhausting, Charles would know. He kneels down to the boy, who has slipped into his previous crouching position again in the corner.
Edwin watches from the opposite corner. He knows that he can't interfere, this is Charles' moment and he can't help without breaking the fragile feelings that have been aroused.
"Look, mate. You don't need to know who we are, or why other can hear us, but what matters is we want to help. I've been, " Charles gulps, "in a similar situation before. I know how difficult it can be, and it's better you don't go through it on your own. I would know that too. " he glances at Edwin and smiles.
"I think I'm going insane." The boy buries his head in his arms.
"But are you okay with us.. Helping you?"
He sniffles. "Don't help me, help my friend. Those fucking bullies, they wanted to beat him up just cuz he had an accent that wasn't english. I couldn't let them get the best of my friend, so I stood up to them and now I'm here. Oh fuck I really am going insane, talking to the voices am I now? "
Charles takes a moment to recover. This sounds like a retelling of his life, with a couple different details. He feels like he has been dipped back into his past and the pain feels as fresh as ever. The pain morphs into a raging anger that overcomes him, it's flames showing in his eyes.
"Edwin, stay with the boy. "
"There's another-? "
"That doesn't matter. He'll keep you safe. Where are the bullies? "
You don't need to look at Charles to tell that he is seething with anger.
"I-i don't know! " the boy seems to be on the verge of tears as his eyes widen.
"I'm sorry, " Charles begins. He might have been too harsh, he can't take out his anger on him. "I'm sorry, but where are the bullies? Do you have any idea? "
The boy takes a deep breath.
"The four of them share a room, 2 bunk beds. It's room 50c, so the last room in building c. "
Charles and Edwin give each other a confused glance. Building c?
"I'll find it. Thanks mate, you don't know what this means to us. Edwin you'll be all right yeah? " Charles looks nervously st the pair.
"Charles, I'll be fine. I am the least of your concerns. Just, don't do anything... Rash."
Charles nods. He know that he won't go about this in a calm way certainly, but he'll need the warning. He turns to go, but he stops at the sensation of a hand on his. Edwin is holding his hand. He looks at Edwin who is kneeling with the boy. His eyes beg him to not let his anger overcome him. Charles takes a look at the shivering boy, now huddled in Edwin's overcoat, and realises the vulnerability this has exposed in both of them. He realises how Edwin is taking care of this boy like he once took care of him. The anger lessens it's iron grip on Charles and he gives Edwin the reassuring smile that he can control himself, that everything will be all right. And with the fleeting warmth of Edwin's hand still on his, he fades out if the room on his way to 50c.
#should i write a part 2? 😭#just ignore some of the details like how Edwin's coat is tangible 🙂#dbda#dead boy detectives#save dead boy detectives#dead boy detective agency#yo i reread this#wtf was i thinking at 8am 😦(thats early for me as a gremlin)#ill leave you with this abomination
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Josie Pinup for @thedeafprophet ;) (full nudity below the cut)
i think october wants her cloak back josie 🤭
(based on this:)
#(yes i can draw legs properly HOWEVER josie has EDS so i wanted to have her hyper-extending the one knee because. she deserves to be#seen as pretty Including her bendy joints damnit!!!!!!!)#anyways#phantom of the opera moments much josie? my my#you guys would not BELIEVE how my phone has SLAUGHTERED this piece in particular!!! i can't even do my normal little photo app editing trick#(telling my phone to use the 'enhance' or 'contrast' settings :( )#like. in person josie is super super smeared and washed out in her reflection! but october is actually only a tiny bit smeared and not#washed out at all! so she Sticks Out a lot!!! because she's a parabolan ghost with a lot of parabolan power mastery and i wanted her to seem#... Disturbingly Tangible#but my phone picks up on fucking NONE of that#and yet somehow it's picking up and EMPHASIZING all this white texture and spotting that is legitimately Barely Visible in person#and like. her stretch marks are nowhere near as bright!! they're nice and natural looking i prommy#and it's over-emphasizing the lightness of her palms too aaaaaaaa#anyways. I'm crying over how my phone just. murders my art for funsies. waugh#please please please i promise it looks a thousand times better in person 😭😭😭#her face too :(#alas alas.#dye stained art#suggestive#also tmblr don't kill me this is a fuckung pinup. artistic nudity. aaa#sometimes i will just draw ocs naked for stress relief!!! because i like how bodies are shaped#hnnnnnng gold ink <3#mirrors#ask to tag#others ocs#josie
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.~
#not a vent just a journal entry (feel free to scroll past; there is no snz here and this is also not that interesting)#realizing now that i never thought of myself as#someone whose absence would register to others in any other way than just neutral/detached recognition?#phrasing this really badly and i am truly going to delete this later bc it is embarrassing LOL#i think when i was young and posting all this fic into questionable places (the f*rum) i was like#(@ an unfinished work of mine) no way anyone could be bothered by these cliffhangers 👍 they can just imagine the ending#even though i would frequently be bothered by other people's cliffhangers. that exact same principle just wouldn't apply to me in my head#and when i did not respond to people i was like.. i'm sure i wasn't really an important part of their lives so they won't mind it#if i stepped away?#i never really entertained the concept of people missing me or looking forward to my responses 😭 i never thought of myself as someone worth#missing... so when i disappeared it was always with little to no sense of guilt. i think even now i struggle with#seeing myself as someone that inhabits like a tangible enough space in other people's lives that my absence would be felt#(and i don't mean that in a morbid way. and i do recognize that it's quite hypocritical)#on the flipside of things i frequently miss people and look forward to their responses. and sometimes i wonder like#do they all know? do they all know that i miss them because they somehow understand this aspect of human nature better than i do?#or are they in the dark like i am? are these things assumed or are they only known when they are said... 😭#i am a little bit of a coward so i am not saying anything (also because can you even say this kind of thing to someone??#i would probably die of embarrassment) but#how strange it is to have someone suddenly inhabit a space in your life that is substantial enough that#when they're gone you feel that space open up and you miss them#the few times in my life people have conveyed that sentiment to me i remember feeling puzzled that my presence could have that kind of#weight to them. i think my problem is that i purposefully do not read between the lines if the conclusion is something favorable towards me#because i don't want to bank on something good that might or might not be true 😭 anyways this is way too long already. if you read this#then good morning or goodnight
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#spto#scott pilgrim takes off#spto spoilers#wallace wells#scott pilgrim#scott pilgrim spoilers#crazy that I have to say ‘spoilers’ for this but anyways#this is the only tangible thought I have after binging everything yesterday goodbye 😭
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hm. i think acting like the current discourse is a first reaction to one misstep is a little reductive and misinformed, and i think there have clearly been underlying issues for a while now, dating back to the french joining and being ignored at every turn or the eggs going missing arc or purgatory or whatever view-changing event you want to begin your analysis from. it’s reasonable for fans to be frustrated about it, especially if it’s dismantling a section of the media they enjoyed the most; and as much as you can say sit back and let the admins work their magic, i think over the course of the past few months and mistakes a lot of viewers have lost faith solely bc there have been a lot of missteps and on top of that missteps without reconciliation, and there is a fear and very real possibility that it will not get resolved. and that’s ok too! people are also allowed to blog about that though like this is the blog site
#cannot stress to you enough the block button. like perhaps just block#qsmp crit#eleanor.txt#idk. we all just run blogs here just run ur blog 😭😭#i think the tangibility of the qsmp as an interactive media makes some people police crit of it (which is dumb on tumblr btw#the whole point is that they shouldn’t be here and generally aren’t here) and that leads to this discourse#bc people start questioning what is Allowed to be blogged about. and the answer to that is everything actually#as long as it’s properly tagged i don’t see the issue w it u cannot dissuade people from running their blog on a blog site#(*they in parenthesis referring to the creators)
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they make me feel............ they make me......... this is.......
#😐#that loud ass exhale. mentally psyching himself up not to get a stiffy everytime roy gives him an approving grunt for doing like 500 burpees#like roy....royyyyyyyyyyy😭😭😭😭coach. sorry coach. look. look at my perfect form arent i doing Sooooooo well. and roy is just 😐#i need to ponder. i need to crush some thoughts into a tangible ball and punt it into the distance#royjamie#rot riffing
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don’t even speak to me about all the little moments like this where you catch hints of miles’s accent having integrated itself into alex’s voice. just. don’t even speak to me.
#the fact they’ve spent so much time around each other that it’s literally changed the way they speak 😭#it makes me stupidly emotional getting these tangible glimpses of the sheer impact they’ve had on each other??#like so much so that it’s fundamentally changed the cadences of their voices#also#the moments where miles’s accent seems most noticeable in alex’s voice are… very interesting 👀#i could write a whole essay on the emotional significance of them#in fact#i might 😭#milex#alex turner#miles kane#tlsp#the last shadow puppets#milex vid#lulu posts
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immediately making fancams of kamala is weird behaviour btw
like no matter view on the effectiveness of voting is… now is the time to threaten to withhold your vote (even if you aren’t voting, even if you’re voting blue no matter who) if she doesn’t pivot on palestine (and HARD, not just the light distancing she’s doing with netanyahu rn)
not to call her mother, declare her part of brat summer, and go “yippee!!!”
like now actually is the time for unfiltered criticism so she scrambles to fix her polling and picks a VP who isn’t governor shapiro
not whatever the fuck i’m seeing on twitter 😭
#electoral politics are the smallest prong#in any plan to enact change and protect marginalized people#but it is… a prong#but it doesn’t work if you just cheer on anyone on the ballot#you actually can and should push for better 😭#while focusing on more tangible work
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good news i can go back to volunteering at blank hospital :)
#the program i was enrolled in ended a before my finals but they contacted a few of us to see if we were interested#in resuming volunteering :)) i'm not to ecstatic about seeing the staff again really but the experience i had with patients is invaluable#and this is a tangible direct way i can help..#the batch is smaller this time around and so are the student volunteers if i get stuck being rep again at least it won't be as hectic😭#🩺#honestly im a little peeved that i could have done this as a clinical elective instead of doing a course but wtv no knowledge is wasted ig
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[ID: four screenshots from the next generation. worf and helena rozhenko are talking in ten forward, he says "well, I don't remember you smiling when I knocked over that lamp." She replies "Well, maybe once... when you weren't looking."]
not even gonna pretend to be normal about this
#his FACE 😭😭😭😭#the love is tangible#im so torn up about the rozhenkos i'll never be okay about the rozhenkos#worf#next gen liveblog#ghitlhpu'wij
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y'all ever try to be normal but then remember you're in a fandom that has no fanart, and one canon illustration, and that the only other actual media for any of the characters is in a lost silent film from 1918?
#don't talk to me or the shuttle fandom right now okay 😭#i can SEE THEM in my head i can SEE THEM SO TANGIBLY#but WHAT DO THEY LOOK LIKE#the shuttle#kazzy accodentally subliminally forces all of you to NOT read the shuttle (1907)#😭😭😭
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