#and talk about all the times I trolled my students

[solarsong-writes]

Hi, I'm SolarSong, although people like to call me Solar for short!

I like to write Kanamafu on AO3. I'm a bit of a boomer with social media, and this is the only social media thing I own (unless you count Discord).

Since people seem to be interested in things aside from just my writing, I've finally decided to make this master post. Onto tags!

General:

#solarsong writes - anything related to my writing, includes chapter updates, extra content, deleted scenes, and sneak peeks

#solarsong rambles - me rambling about the meaning of life, why pouring milk before adding cereal is the superior option for non-soggy cereal, and everything else in between

#solarsong stories - things that I experienced

#ask box - asks

#me - about me or my life

Fics:

#to walk where the light shines - a post-Farewell My Mask fic that is now canon divergence. Be prepared for eggs and gut punches.

#sinking into a summer night - a comfy melancholic general N25 fic inspired by the song Kimi No Yoru Wo Kure

#blend my song into nonexistent love - Kanamafu soulmate AU, somewhat a deconstruction of the trope alongside extensive worldbuilding.

#consume the shape of my dreams - Mizuena soulmate AU, set in the same universe. What happens if you're an aspiring artist and you can't see color until you meet your soulmate? :))))))

#amongst flowers without names - Kanamafu hanahaki AU, a deconstruction of hanahaki AUs and Mafuyu has no idea who she has hanahaki for :)

#lives etched on our palms - Kanamafu reincarnation AU examining Kanade and Mafuyu's relationship through different circumstances, roles, and time periods. Also uses all the 2024 Kanamafu week prompts cause I thought it would be funny.

Asks:

Honestly, I'm open to pretty much any question. I just reserve the right to not answer them (or answer vaguely) if they get a little too personally identifying since I want some separation between my personal, professional, and writing life. If one of my students find me, I will perish.

I also like hypothetical scenarios! If you give me a set of circumstances and variables, my brain will spit out some ideas or possibilities.

If asked, I will ramble about any writing or worldbuilding aspect I've done in my fics. I will likely ramble about these regardless of whether or not I get an ask.

Please send me all the silly puns.

[bunny-1111]

How the Slytherin boys would react to you getting into a physical fight with another student

Tom:

he would be so nonchalant

he would see, you all hands on deck

break it up

pull you away

when he's walking you off, you're catching your breath

he would say, "Pull yourself together" so sternly

"I don't need people saying I'm dating a classless troll, hear me"

when you nod with embarrassment, he would roll his eyes

leading you to his dorm, you would gather the courage to ask where he's taking you

"teaching you not to use your fucking hands; I'm never above hurting the enemy; you want to hurt someone? I'll teach you a few spells" he would say, stoic

"fighting with her hands like a fucking muggle" you would hear him scoff under his breath, shaking his head in disapproval

Matteo:

Honestly, Matteo would love a psycho girl. You can't tell me different

when he heard chanting 'Fight!' he ran to the scene

Matteo would never miss a good brawl

when he pushed through the crowd and realised it was you amidst the chaos, he smiled

"Come on Baby! swing" he would clap, telling the bystanders that was his girlfriend

when the boyfriend of the girl you were fighting started talking too much shit, he rolls his own sleeves up

couples who fight together stay together?

Theodore:

when the two of you went to the library for a late night study, the lights were dim, and Theodore wasn't able to see you properly

when you were walking back to Dungouns, it was windy, and the your jumper had slipt slightly off your shoulder, revealing a small bruise

Theodore would stop you immediately "what's this?" he would question pulling the fabric down even further to see if more followed

"what happened." he would say

"I bumped into a bookcase?" you try

"I was with you all night, no you fucking didn't. I'll ask you one more time. What. Happened?"

"I got into a little fight" you admitted

"Huh? Who, when" he would start

"Doesn't matter Theo, I won. This is my battle scar" you smiled pulling your jumper back up

"It was with a girl right? No guy hit you" he sternly continued his interrogation

"No Theodore, it was a Gryindor, alright a girl"

"Good, I wasn't in the mood to have to kill someone... long day" he huffed opening the door for you, entering the common room

Lorenzo:

you and your friends would be in the hall eating dinner

when Blaise says, "Hey, y/n, any reason why (the person you fought) ended up in the hospital wing and you didn't even need to pay Pomfrey a visit?"

Why would you go to Pomfreys? enzo would ask mouth full of food

"oh? you didn't hear about the cat fight in the corridor today" Blaise laughed

Enzo practically choked on his food.

"You got into a fight?" he looked up

you didn't reply. To Enzo no answer was an answer

"My little angel got into a fight and didn't tell me... did you win?"

Draco:

he would make such a fuss

"it was Ginny Weasley" you laughed

"What!?"

"Yeah, we got into it because he was talking shit about you, so I started talking shit about Harry, and it escalated" you smiled

"And?" he pried

"Gryifindors arent as courageous as they say," you say

"That's right darling, let's go walk past their common room, wanna torment Potter bout this" he smirked

Blaise

he would be on the quidditch pitch, playing

when a girl next to you was talking about how he's not a good player, how her boyfriend on the opposing team would smash them

"you wanna get smashed by my fist next? that's my boyfriend you're talking about," you would say

"well tell your boyfriend he's eating shit this match?" she smiled back

pouncing through the bleachers you attacked

when Blaise caught sight of Pansy pulling you off her, and the girl running off with a blood nose, he smirked

he played so well the rest of the game

walking out of the locker rooms, he found you "I won on the pitch, you won off the pitch hunny" he would smile wrapping an arm around you

"Do you know what she said?" you started to rile up again

"She said that-" you started

"No, no, you took care of it, that's it" he smiled down at you

[another-lost-mc]

I would like to imagine that my MC recently got a reversible octupus plushie she got from human world when she visited home. The demon brothers notices the new plushie in MC's room but did not care about it until they saw it changed to the angry face.

Now, everyone of them is frantic, including Luci but his prideful self decides to keep it cool.

Who in the Devildom made MC mad? Asmo and Levi is crying. Mammon is pacing around the common room. Luci, Satan, and Belphie are seething. Beel lost his appetite.

They did not notice anything while at RAD, or when the residents from Purgatory Hall visited.

Was it because Beel ate MC's pudding, when she specifically said that she's keeping it because she will eat it as a midnight snack?

Was it Levi when he *asked* MC to watch new anime season installment, for 3 nights in a row?

Or Satan when he spam messaged MC with cat pictures?

Spoiler- It was actually Solomon who switched it to angry just to troll the demon brothers and MC though that it was not a big deal anyway 🤣

a/n: I want one of those plushies too, they're so cute.

when mc has a reversible mood plushie | the demon brothers

0.5k words| sfw | gn!reader

cw: a bit of mischevious sleep/dream stuff in belphie's section.

They freak out when they see your plushie is turned to the angry side and assume you're unhappy. One day they peek in your room to talk to you. They spot the little octopus plushie laying on your bed and it's flipped back to the happy side again. Yay! But wait, what did they do to make you so happy in the first place?!

Lucifer thinks that you liked all the extra time you spent helping him with some student council business this week. You complained at the time, but was that a ruse to hide how much you enjoyed his company as much as he secretly enjoyed yours?

Mammon thinks you're his good luck charm and wouldn't you know it, he just hit it big at the casino. He has a few outstanding bills to pay off, but first he's gonna buy you something nice!

Levi gave you some extra gacha capsule toys he had duplicates of. He wasn't even sure if you liked that anime, but maybe he guessed your favourite character by accident. (After this, he's going to give you a lot of little gifts featuring a particular character whose name you don't even remember, but he looks so excited to give them to you that you can't refuse.)

Satan thinks about the books he's lent you recently and assumes curling on the sofa with a good book solved all your problems. He loves those particular books and now he's certain that you love them too. Of course you did, who else knows your taste in literature or anything else better than him? He can't wait to talk to you about them in more detail later.

The only thing Asmo can think of is that you realized a selfie of you two together on Devilgram started trending before he even noticed. Well, he's going to be taking your picture a lot more from now on. It's adorable how camera-shy you are, but he promises to keep most of them private for only the two of you to enjoy. ♡

Beel avoided a meltdown last night when the buffet he took you to threatened to cut him off. He tries really hard to keep his hunger in check when you go out together, so you must be really proud of him! Maybe he'll pick up a few dozen cupcakes at Madam Scream's as a thank-you gift...

Belphie could tell you were feeling stressed last night. His brothers just don't know how to leave you alone, do they? They bother you with their foolishness and you're too nice to say no (even though he knows your grumpy little octopus friend is a warning to them all if they don't get the hint). If he made you a little drowsy after dinner so you could go to bed early and get a good night's sleep, that's his business. He thought he was careful not to leave a trace when he visited your dreams last night too, but maybe you knew he was there all along? Well, he's happiest when he can spend time with you, awake or asleep, so it makes sense you feel the same way.

[diana-bluewolf]

Why NPC’s lines outside quests don’t tell us anything about them

*with rare exceptions

Here we have Duncan saying he'd like to get rid of Muggle-borns like Garlick. And, surprise, then we have Hector Fawley (future Minister for Magic, btw) saying exactly the same line in the same voice.

The subtitles are hard to read, so I duplicated them with text under pictures.

Duncan and Hector: "If only Black had the power to choose the other professors too. Then we could get rid of Muggle-born like Garlick."

Or here Duncan rants about disgusting Mudbloods ruining the school. But look at this adorable Hufflepuff repeating the same word for word.

Duncan and a random Hufflepuff student: "It’s about time Hogwarts put someone like Black in charge. Perhaps now we can stop all these disgusting Mudbloods from ruining the school."

Suddenly, Duncan forgets his own words and says he will miss Professor Garlick or recommends that Garreth ask her for advice.

Duncan: "I can’t wait until I’m a sixth-year - then I won’t have to waste my time with Herbology anymore. I’ll miss Professor Garlick, mind." Duncan: "I wouldn’t bother yourself about that. If I were you, I’d be more inclined to acquire myself some Bubotuber pus. I’m sure Garlick could point you in the right direction."

Garreth seems to have difficulties with making up his mind, too.

Garreth: "Have you been in any other common rooms? I'd love to know what it's like to be in another house - just for a day." Also Garreth: "Even if I knew how to get into the other common rooms, I wouldn't bother. There's a reason I was sorted into my house."

This does sound like Garreth. Until you hear the same from half of Hogwarts lots.

Garreth and a random Gryffindor student: "Sometimes I wish someone would Transfigure me into a squirrel. Then I wouldn't have to worry about doing schoolwork anymore."

The same goes for Leander. Btw, hello Mousey @sparxyv!

Leander: "You think Garreth Weasley would be better at Transfiguration considering his aunt teaches the thing."

I see sometimes people think Leander is a bully because he says some mean lines like the one when he's bragging about a knee-reversal hex he tried on a small Hufflepuff. But it's NOT his lines. It's just the lines that belong to everyone, which means they belong to no one.

I even made a video based on Ominis's lines like this.

Ominis: "Well, my father naturally assumed I'd be a strong Seeker, just like him. I say, thank Merlin Quidditch was cancelled." Ominis: "I met some of my best friends in Flying. Nothing creates a bond like thinking you're all about to die." Ominis: "My friends and I like to spend our evenings watching the sunset from the Quidditch pitch."

Btw maybe Quidditch Champions devs took it too seriously 😂 I agree with the point that Ominis technically can play Quidditch: there are, without a doubt, disabled athletes in the world, and if there’s a wand, that helps him to see why not imagine a broom like this? Still, given his personality, I believe that Ominis appeared in that game just to gather more money from fans, and he's just as a quidditch player, as Seb's patronus is a cat. Because, seriously, Ominis? Saying that, "Nothing creates a bond like thinking you're all about to die." Haha!

From what I can see, random student dialogues exist only to fill the silence with background noise and create the illusion of life, but they can't tell us anything about the characters.

*HOWEVER, this does not apply to situations where NPCs say something to MC, rather than during dialogues with random students.

For example, Ominis’s lines like, “Heard you're defending Hogsmeade against trolls. You know there is such a thing as trying too hard." or “Heard you and Sebastian traversed a mountain in Loyalist territory. You know, that sort of thing could have gotten you both killed.” really belong to our gossip king Ominis.

Or when MC walks past Amit near Hogshead before talking to Lodgok for the first time, Amit shouts greetings to MC.  Those are the lines that really were intended for those NPCs.

[issa-pheonyx]

Being Johnny Cage's Niece...

𝗜 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱𝗻'𝘁 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗼𝗳𝗳 𝗺𝘆 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱, 𝘀𝗼𝗼𝗼𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘁'𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗶𝗲𝗰𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻𝘃𝗼𝗹𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗶𝘁𝘂𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗴𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀. 𝗜 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝘀 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗹. 𝗬𝗲𝘀, 𝗜'𝗺 𝗮𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗺𝗮𝗻 𝗶𝘀✨𝗰𝗮𝘂𝗰𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗮𝗻✨, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗯𝗲 𝗯𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗱-𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗱𝗼𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗝𝗼𝗵𝗻𝗻𝘆. 𝗟𝗲𝘁'𝘀 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗳𝘂𝗻 𝘆𝗮'𝗹𝗹 [𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝗱𝘂𝗹𝘁 𝗯𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘆]🤭

▌│█║▌║▌║ L̳͈͉̅̊ȍ̸̢̢̮͚̐̚v̸̵̝͙͆̈ͤę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ M̶̷̲̊ͥ͋͟ę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ L̳͈͉̅̊ȍ̸̢̢̮͚̐̚v̸̵̝͙͆̈ͤę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ M̶̷̲̊ͥ͋͟ę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ L̳͈͉̅̊ȍ̸̢̢̮͚̐̚v̸̵̝͙͆̈ͤę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ M̶̷̲̊ͥ͋͟ę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ L̳͈͉̅̊ȍ̸̢̢̮͚̐̚v̸̵̝͙͆̈ͤę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ M̶̷̲̊ͥ͋͟ę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ ║▌║▌║█│▌

-He is literally the fun uncle...with such dad jokes and puns that makes you double take on being his favorite. Yes, you're his favorite what makes you think he is open with you hanging around when he is in acting mode at work or he invites you to the red carpet to announce the winners for best actor (AKA him). Plus, there is a new game system you've been investing? He got you. Student loans? No need just tell him how much it is for each semester, he is very supportive of your career. "Is that your uncle Johnny fucking Cage!?" He is at the drop off waiting for you to be picked up in his red Lamborghini, blasting California Love,"Yup...that is my uncle."

-Speaking of his acting career he will NOT permit you to go to any film industry if he is not around. He will confront any sleazy creeps who dare to make you sign a contract, because you will be the biggest star like your uncle. Nope! Not on his watch. "Give me that. Who gave you this paper?" "Uh, some bald guy-" "Yeah, didn't I teach you any better talking to strangers??" "Uncle J you're not even my da-" "I'm calling your mom."

-Not only is he protective, but he will keep mad bugging you to teach you his martial art skills. It is just an excuse to have some uncle and niece bonding-both you hang out 24/7 it is ridiculous-so, you could be his trustee side kick and who knows if he ever has another movie coming in he would definitely drag put you in since you learned martial arts like him. On a serious note though he would let you know he is not doing it for clout (bullshit), but to make sure you are safe and know what to do in dangerous scenarios

-Of course, you will be bombarded with paparazzi when you're hanging with your uncle, however the pictures seem to have a unique pattern about you both. It is like a game between you and Johnny against them. You received little attention before your first movie with your uncle, yet after that you decide to troll them. Every picture they failed to take your face either you wearing a hoodie only seeing your mouth in view, surgical masks and not being to capture you pulling it down when you're eating/drinking cause the angle is shit. Or even then you would position yourself around objects or things that it just looks like a tree branch covered the majority of your face flashing a smile cause Johnny cracked a joke as he was smiling too, eating frozen yogurt going for a walk at the park

-Now being introduced with Lui Kang God of Fire, Sub Zero, Scorpion, and so much was mind blowing. Even you were part of it. Johnny being the protective uncle he absolutely REFUSED to get you involved. So, instead you had to stay close to him at all times since you were forced to join. It was quite a beauty since these different timelines had gorgeous views, so you would snap pictures here and there (without uncle Kenshi knowing cause he bonked you with the sword once). Plus, you were stunned how pretty everyone was there like holy shit why is everyone so hot???

-Furthermore, everyone was just as curious as they were with Johnny to you. "So, you're related to Johnny Cage?" Lui Kang asks as he was behind the entrance door of your uncle's mansion with his arms crossed,"Unfortunately, yes-" "That's it! Youngins' shouldn't be here. The adults are talking." The ladies were a little confused you can be the opposite of Johnny being humorous and all. "How can you tolerate such patience with an uncle so untamed, (Y/N)?" Kitana whispered to you after he told her she was gracefully aging for a 10,000 year old,"I don't know, princess. I question myself that everyday."

-Of course, your uncle J told you to be close to you at all costs, but you end up snapping when someone laid a hand on your uncle. That's when all that work of martial arts paid off when you were popping awf, honey. Everyone was shook and couldn't believe their eyes even Mileena complimented,"Such fire you show within kombat! I wish you can stay here in the Outworld to teach all my guards." You chuckled,"I would be very honored, your majesty, but I don't think uncle Johnny would be okay with that."

-Being his niece has taught you to enjoy life even when things don't go your way it'll get better. With you he learned that not everything shouldn't be taken so lightly when it is necessary especially to those he has a special bond with. Lets just say it is a healing and mind opening moment for you and you uncle away from the riches, the media, and fame into the Outworld

▌│█║▌║▌║ L̳͈͉̅̊ȍ̸̢̢̮͚̐̚v̸̵̝͙͆̈ͤę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ M̶̷̲̊ͥ͋͟ę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ L̳͈͉̅̊ȍ̸̢̢̮͚̐̚v̸̵̝͙͆̈ͤę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ M̶̷̲̊ͥ͋͟ę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ L̳͈͉̅̊ȍ̸̢̢̮͚̐̚v̸̵̝͙͆̈ͤę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ M̶̷̲̊ͥ͋͟ę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ L̳͈͉̅̊ȍ̸̢̢̮͚̐̚v̸̵̝͙͆̈ͤę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ M̶̷̲̊ͥ͋͟ę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ ║▌║▌║█│▌

𝗧𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗸𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴! 𝗜 𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗲𝗻𝗷𝗼𝘆𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝘁. 𝗠𝘆 𝘂𝗽𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗲𝘀 𝗱𝗼 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗮 𝗳𝗮𝗶𝗿 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴. 𝗦𝗹𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗹~🖤🫣

[5sospenguinqueen]

CURSES & CONFESSIONS - GARRETH WEASLEY

Summary: The four times people told you Garreth was in love with you, and the one time Garreth did. Slytherin F!MC. Seventh Year.

Fandom: Hogwarts Legacy

Warnings: Fluff, unrequited love, shitty writing.

Word Count: 4957

──────── . ☆ * ☽ * ☆ﾟ. ────────

#1. Imelda Reyes

Rolling her shoulders back, MC exhaled deeply, hoping to ease some of the tension in her form. The incessant nattering of her roommate was doing little to help her efforts. Side by side, the teammates trod across the dew-dusted field, unbothered by the growing moisture on their shin pads. Morning mist clung to strands of their hair; both of them sporting green ribbons securely tying back their long locks. The Quidditch field loomed in front of them. The cheers of their fellow students beckoning them forward. Having spent the entirety of Sixth Year begging, Imelda finally convinced her competitive friend to join the Quidditch Team as their final Chaser. 

Imelda noticed the steps of her friend falter as they drew nearer. “The first game is always nerve-wracking but once you mount your broom, all worries about impending injuries vanish.” 

“Very reassuring, Reyes. Why not just tell her to take a Bludger to the head?” Sebastian Sallow commented, long legs easily catching up to them. “It’s a good thing it’s not your job to give motivational speeches to the team- Oh, wait… Maybe that’s why we lost the House Cup last year?” 

Slinging his arm across his friend’s shoulders, he grinned down at her ashy face. “Merlin, you almost look nervous,” the Beater jeered playfully, poking her in the cheek.

MC frowned, a crease forming across her brow. Goblins? No problem. Giant trolls? Easy. Embarrassing herself in front of the majority of the school? Mortifying. 

“Shut it, Sallow. We’re not going to lose this year. We have the ‘Hero of Hogwarts’ on our side.” Imelda’s tone was teasing, watching her friend chafe against the title she had earned in their Fifth Year. And hated ever since. 

Eyes landing on the Quidditch tent, Imelda honed in on a smattering of red lingering outside the entrance to the changing rooms. His dark eyes were trained on the muscular arm that Sebastian had draped around MC, ready to storm over and rip it off. 

Loudly, Imelda declared, “Besides, we’re playing against Gryffindor today. We already have the upper hand against them.”

“Is that so? Do feel free to share with the group.” Leander’s haughty tone broke through the cacophony of excited spectators.

The trio turned to find him looking down at them, arms crossed against his chest. Garreth flanked his left side, expression at odds with the relaxed posture of his body. Gravitating towards the mop of red curls, MC discreetly shuffled towards him, close enough to see the condensation forming on his robes. The cool air clashing with the natural heat of his body.

Similarly to the Slytherin Beater, Weasley had undergone an enticing transformation over the summer. Even whilst slouched against the wooden beam behind him, he towered over her. The second-hand uniform that used to hang loosely on his frame, now strained against the broadness of his shoulder, pulling taut at the muscles of his biceps. When she lifted her gaze to his, he offered a genuine smile, green eyes twinkling. Her brow smoothed, eyes lightening as she smiled back at him. 

“You may be an awful strategist, Prewett, but I know better than to give the enemy important intelligence. Why would I share my secret weapon with you?” 

“I hope you’re not referring to the little witch cowering behind Sallow. If so, you’ve lost already. After all, magic is banned from Quidditch and without her extra magic, she’s not very skilled.” 

Garreth clenched his fist, knowing his friend was only trying to intimidate the group of Snakes. Punching his teammate before the Game began wasn’t the best way to win the Quidditch Cup. 

“She is going to kick your arse for talking about her like she’s not here.” MC glared up at Leander. “I didn’t realise you were so eager to relive the humiliation I dealt you at Crossed Wands, which I did without extra magic.” 

Garreth sniggered, covering it with a cough before his Captain could scold him. Opening his mouth to retort, Madam Kogawa interrupted, yelling out that there was two minutes left until the start of the Game. Prewett dashed inside the tent, remembering he still needed to strap on his knee pads. Sebastian followed closely behind, muttering about how badly he needed to piss before climbing onto his broom. 

Shifting awkwardly on his feet, Garreth hated how his large frame made his discomfort more apparent. Both women turned to look at him as he moved, unable to move subtly anymore. Having noted the trepidation on his Potions partner’s face, he wanted to offer words of encouragement. Except her Captain was looking at him as though she were plotting all the ways to throw him from his broom. The trees swayed as the wind picked up. Not the best weather for a first match. 

“Don’t get blown away out there.” Garreth internally cursed himself.

Why did his mouth insist on saying the stupidest things his brain conjured up? Instead of telling her how he wished she had a good match. How some part of him wanted her to win so that he could revel in her joy. 

An alluring spark flickered in her eyes as the competitive side of her was ignited. “Have a good game, asshole.”

“You too, Princess,” he called out after her retreating figure. The scent of her shampoo filled his nose as she brushed past him. He watched her go with a dopey grin on his face, unable to wipe it off before Imelda walked past him. She didn’t look at the redhead but he watched the Slytherin Captain shake her head in disgust, knowing it was aimed his way. 

“Forget everything I said about keeping an eye on the Quaffle.”

“Excuse me?” MC questioned, turning to face her friend as they entered the Slytherin section of the changing rooms. “Doesn’t the defeat the purpose of my position?” 

“Your new job is to tail Weasley.” Imelda had a wicked smirk on her face. One that usually accompanied words of insanity. “Weasley has been infatuated with you since you stole the Fwooper feather for him. And, as much as the babbling buffoon bothers me, once he’s in the air, he’s exceptionally talented. I need you to put a stop to that. Whenever you’re around, you’re the sole focus of his attention. I’m not even sure he’s aware of it.”

The flaps to the tent rolled back, allowing in bright bursts of sunlight. Emerald and maroon robes filed out onto the grassy pitch. 

“You’re so full of shit.” MC muttered, pushing aside the way Imelda’s words made her feel.

The only response she received was a knowing smile before Imelda slowly sailed out of the tent, and into the roaring crowd. When the whistle blew, MC was further convinced of her friend’s dishonesty. Dashing after the Quaffle, she was elated when her hands were the first to wrap around the ball. Darting across the sky, she was unable to dodge the mass of red barrelling towards her left side. The two collided. She released the Quaffle, dropping it into Natsai’s awaiting hands below. Tightly grasping the handle of her broom, it took all her strength to avoid tumbling off it.

Oblivious to the Quaffle sailing past his head, Garreth’s attention remained on MC until he was confident she wasn’t plummeting to the ground. Furious eyes snapped up in his direction but he simply winked at her, flying back into the fray. He attributed the red tinge of his cheeks to the biting wind. Not the fact that his skin heated from where it had made contact with the beautiful Snake. 

──────── . ☆ * ☽ * ☆ﾟ. ────────

#2. Natsai Onai

Sunshine illuminated the two Seventh Years lounging in the Transfiguration Courtyard. Bags and outer robes discarded by the bench, the pair of them curled up on the neatly-trimmed grass. Taking a much-needed break from studying, the pair of them soaked up the warm rays. Even though it was only two months into the school year, NEWTS were bogging them down. So, instead of discussing the terrifyingly long Potions essay they’d been set, the pair were gossiping about their fellow classmates.

Entering the Courtyard, Garreth was alerted to his friend’s presence when her familiar giggle reached his ears. His head whipped round, searching for her.

“Is it true that Sebastian has a basilisk inked onto his back?” Natsai asked, when MC’s laughter upon hearing about Leander’s disastrous date subsided. Her hands weaved a small pile of flowers together. 

MC lifted her head up from the cushion she had transfigured her cloak into, squinting at her friend. “Pardon?” 

“Some of the Ravenclaw girls were discussing it in the Library. I may have overhead, and decided you would be the best person to ask.” 

“And you thought to ask me, and not Ominis? Why do you think I am the most knowledgeable about Sebastian without a shirt?”

A dark shadow fell over her, stealing away the warmth that had likely burnt the skin of her nose. 

“Who’s seen Sebastian without his shirt on?” Garreth dumped his bag beside MC’s before collapsing onto the grass beside her. His hand picked up a strand of her hair, twirling it between his fingers absentmindedly. “Can you believe the length of Sharp’s essay?” 

MC smiled up at him, amused by his actions. 

“I was just asking whether MC could confirm the rumours regarding Sebastian’s tattoo,” smiled Natsai, watching her housemate’s reaction closely. 

“The one on his back?” Garreth’s jaw ticked, fingers dropping the hair. “Why have you seen him shirtless?!”

Without letting MC reiterate that she hadn’t seen Sebastian without a shirt, Garreth spoke again. His teeth clenched tightly together as though the words pained him. “Although, I suppose the pair of you as a couple makes perfect sense. You would compliment each other nicely.” 

MC pulled herself into a sitting position, eyebrows knitting together. “What is that supposed-?”

“Oh, Garreth! We need another player for Gobstones.” Poppy shouted across the Courtyard, waving eagerly at him. 

Wanting to escape the bubbling feeling in his chest, Garreth excused himself, clambering to his feet before his mouth blurted out anything else he might regret. Watching the redhead make his way towards Poppy, MC felt a nauseous feeling arise in the pit of her stomach. 

“What was all of that about? Sebastian and I? Together? Merlin, it would be like dating a brother. A really annoying brother.” MC rambled. “And, could he have escaped us any faster? You would think he hadn’t seen Poppy in months instead of a couple of hours.” 

Guilt coursed through her at the ugly thoughts she was possessing, not enjoying how the idea of her friends together was making her feel. Poppy was a delightful witch, and if Garreth were to date anyone, MC couldn't think of someone who could be nicer. 

Natty snickered at the words tumbling from her friend’s mouth, watching her suck in a deep breath. “They were playing Chess in the Library earlier, but you had your head buried in your Herbology book.”

“Oh…” A dejected look overtook her face, watching the dark-haired witch laugh loudly at something Garreth said. “I wasn’t aware he felt that way about her. Although, I suppose it’s impossible not to like Poppy. She’s the sweetest. Now that I think about it, he is always patient with her, and they do spend a fair bit of time together. I think everyone should love Poppy. Oh, no… I’ve been trying to convince Ominis to tell her how he feels about her, but clearly that would be counterproductive if she and Garreth are courting. I wouldn’t want to interfere with that. Not when he looks so happy and-”

“My friend,” interrupted Natty. “Breathe.” 

Natsai looked at the witch across from her, wondering how somebody who had duelled Rookwood and survived, could be so oblivious to someone she looked at every day. 

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” 

“What is going on with you and Garreth?”

“Nothing. We’re just friends.”

The fact that she didn’t ask for a further explanation told Natsai everything she needed to know. She shook her head in disbelief. “I have watched that boy almost snap his neck because he heard you laugh and wanted to see what was causing it. Even worse, I watched him smear mashed potato over his face because you walked into the Great Hall, and he was too busy watching you instead of where his fork was going.”

“I remember that,” mumbled MC to herself, before turning back to her friend. “It is sweet of you to try and boost my ego but Garreth and I don’t feel that way about each other. Poppy was next to me that day in the Great Hall. He was clearly looking at her.”

Natty enjoyed the discomfort on her friend’s face. MC clearly didn’t understand why the idea of Garreth and Poppy was so unsettling to her but Natsai certainly did. She just hoped the pair of them would figure it out soon. She had done her best to prompt her friend but it was not her place to declare the redhead’s love. That was something he needed to do himself. Ignoring the knowing smile on Natsai’s face, MC’s eyes zeroed in on the flowers in her hand. Changing the topic of conversation, she commented on the beauty of the flower crown. The Lion leaned over, placing it atop the Snake’s head. 

“I feel like a faerie princess.”

“I believe you are as frightful as one sometimes.”

“Oi! I haven’t duelled anyone in two whole days.”

“A new record.” Natty deadpanned. 

MC laughed, loud and clear. Fumbling his gobstones, Garreth’s head snapped up. His lips quirked into a smile at the joy on her face and the flowers in her hair. He paid no attention to the foul-smelling liquid spraying his robes. 

──────── . ☆ * ☽ * ☆ﾟ. ────────

#3. Sebastian Sallow

Legs aching, MC wished she was curled up on the couch in the Undercroft, reading to Ominis. That was how she was supposed to be spending her frosty Sunday. Instead, she was trudging along the icy pathway to Hogsmeade, eager to get to J. Pippin’s Potions. She’d overheard Garreth complaining that he was out of Bicorn horn and his latest experiment required some. Unfortunately, he had managed to land himself in detention for the first weekend of December. Professor Sharp hadn’t been overly impressed to find his hair transfigured into snakes, having been on the receiving end of the redhead’s latest concoction. The redhead had spent all of dinner last night complaining about his plans for the day had been ruined. 

Wanting to surprise him, MC decided to brave the harsh December weather to go for him. Because that was what good friends did. Nose pink and goosebumps dotting her arms, she snuggled further into her scarf and cursed when she slipped on black ice. 

Large hands wrapped around her arm, pulling her upright. “Remind me how you managed to save Hogwarts when you can barely stand on your own two feet?” 

“Are you stalking me, Sallow?”

“Absolutely. I bet you’re glad for it now.” Sebastian grinned, falling into step beside her. 

“Only because you saved me from cold and bruised buttcheeks. I shall sorely miss the peace and quiet though.” 

Sebastian pressed a hand to his chest in faux offence. “You mortally wound me. Even more so upon discovering you failed to invite me on your little outing. I thought we agreed you would stop fighting Ashwinders and Poachers alone,” he scolded. His expression turned questioning when she continued past the Forbidden Forest, instead of venturing into it as he had expected. 

“Fret not. I’m simply running errands today.”

“Even better. Any adventure with you is thrilling but the best ones involve Butterbeer and free samples from Honeydukes. Are we looking for anything in particular?”

“I need to stop by Pippin’s,” mumbled MC. 

Whilst she enjoyed Sebastian’s company, and was pleased that he preferred outings to Hogsmeade than skulking around Catacombs these days, she’d slipped away quietly that morning in the hopes of being alone. Only because she hadn’t wanted to explain what she was doing. 

“I thought you stocked up on potion supplies last week? Don’t tell me you’re out already.” Sebastian chuckled, eyes honing in on the blush staining her cheeks.

Damn him and his perception, she cursed. 

Clearing her throat, her spine straightened. “I’m not actually going for myself. Garreth mentioned he was low on some supplies.” 

“Where is your boyfriend? Why isn’t he accompanying you?”

Pace picking up as they neared the Wizarding village, she prayed that the sight of Honeydukes would be enough of a distraction to keep Sebastian from prying too deeply into the meaning behind MC’s deed. She, herself, wasn’t willing to look past the fact that she wanted to help out her friend. “He’s not my boyfriend,” she protested

To her dismay, Sebastian persisted, following her down the cobbled streets. “Have you told him that?” A gleeful grin lit up his face. 

“What are you blabbering on about?” 

“I happen to have it on good authority that he spent the entirety of Potions convincing Andrew Larson not to ask you to Hogsmeade today. That’s why he messed up his potion. For once, he wasn’t brewing his own recipe.” 

MC stopped in the middle of the path. Sebastian smacked into her back with a soft ‘oomph’, unable to slow down in time. “That’s why he’s in detention? Why would he do that? I’m not complaining because at least I didn’t have to find a polite way to deter Andrew but…”

“Why would you decline Andrew’s offer? Perhaps your answer is the same reason why Garreth convinced him not to ask in the first place.” 

“Or maybe you’re listening to gossip again, and they got it wrong. Who is this so-called good authority?”

Sebastian’s smirk deepened. “Ominis.”

“Oh.”

──────── . ☆ * ☽ * ☆ﾟ. ────────

#4. Ominis Gaunt 

Splattered with mud, strands of hair slipped from her low bun, sticking to the sheen of sweat coating her face. Her entire body groaned in protest as she and Poppy sullenly made their way up the stairs before the Great Hall. Neither were feeling particularly victorious despite having saved all animals caged up in the Poacher camp. When Poppy had suggested Flooing to Irondale to dismantle a Poacher camp, the two witches had thought they would return before dinner, pleased with themselves and the good they had done. Instead, dinner was in full-swing and all the witches wanted was to reach the Hospital Wing without detection.

The three Wiggenwelds they had taken with them were long gone, and yet numerous injuries remained. Poppy had taken a nasty hex to the chest, and MC hadn’t hesitated to shove all three of the healing potions into her mouth. Unfortunately, that meant there had been none left over for when she was thrown from a platform, body slamming into the hard ground. Despite her twisted ankle and Poppy’s bleeding forehead, they had managed to get back to the Floo flame but were deposited all the way down at the Boathouse. 

“Is that blood?” A horrified voice exclaimed.

Footsteps hurried over to them. Warm hands reached for her cheek, pulling her face into the light so that green eyes could inspect the cut marring her face. Beside her, Ominis was reaching for Poppy, wand waving to assess the damage. 

“Don’t worry. It’s not ours. Well.. not most of it.” 

“Is that supposed to reassure me?!” Garreth shrieked, looping his arm around MC’s wait to help take some of the weight off her swollen ankle.

The two men accompanied their wounded witches to the Hospital Wing. Easing MC onto the stiff white sheets of an unoccupied bed, Garreth dashed into Nurse Blainey’s office, dismayed to find it empty. Tugging at his curls in frustration, he paced back and forth, fretting about his friends. 

“Gar, it’s dinnertime.” MC reminded him, voice soft and comforting. “She’s likely in the Great Hall. We can wait, we’ll be fine.” 

“No, you can’t,” he said firmly. “You’re injured.” Pain shone in his bright green eyes. 

Demanding that Ominis keep a close eye on them, (to which the Gaunt boy promised he’d do his best, prompting MC to giggle), Garreth announced he would go hunt down their healer. Before MC could ask him to stay with her, he was dashing out of the infirmary, robes flapping behind him. She didn’t care about the pain. She had just wanted him to stay. 

“I do believe he genuinely forgot how to breathe when he caught sight of you hobbling into the castle. I almost thought I was going to have to carry all three of you into here.” Ominis spoke up, hand twitching as he fought against the urge to reach for his favourite Hufflepuff. 

“He did go rather pale when he looked at us,” snickered Poppy.

MC shifted, easing her body into a more comfortable position. “Yes, well, you seem to have that effect on him.” She winced, attributing it to the heat lancing down her spine. Nothing to do with the words she spoke crushing something deep in her chest. 

“I don’t think it’s Poppy that makes him forget oxygen is vital to living. Regardless of how adorable she is.” Ominis drawled, taking joy in the pink flush blossoming across Poppy’s cheeks. 

“I told you she was oblivious.” squeaked the Hufflepuff. 

MC scowled, discontented with the running narrative that she was unobservant. Her perception had saved Poppy’s life earlier, and her body was bruised enough to prove it. It was as if her friends had teamed up to insult her consistently this year. 

Fed up with everyone tip-toeing around the fact, Ominis decided he was no longer waiting for her to figure it out. “Please tell me that you are aware Garreth is in love with you, and has been for the past year.” 

“If not more.” Poppy chimed in, supporting Ominis’ decision. The rest of the gang decided to let Garreth tell her himself but Poppy knew he would never do it. 

“No, he’s not.” 

Ominis snorted. “He’s so infatuated with you. Even a blind man could see it.” 

“You are blind.” 

“Exactly. And I can see it.”

“You can’t see anything,” shot back MC.

She shot her tongue out at him immaturely and whilst he couldn't see it, he had the sense to lean over and punch her in the shoulder. He shrunk back in terror when MC winced and a furious voice reverberated off the flagstones; amplified for his sensitive hearing. 

“Why the fuck would you do that. She’s already injured, Ominis. I asked you to look after her whilst I was gone.” Garreth thundered, storming in.

Poor Nurse Blainey was rushing to catch up with him. A slice of carrot cake was cupped in her hand, having been grabbed just as dessert was served. 

“Mr Weasley, you made it sound as if the poor thing was on death’s door.” Blainey scolded, saving the blind wizard from Garreth’s wrath.

The healer took MC’s ankle in hand, examining the swollen ligament and apologising as the Hero of Hogwarts gasped in pain. Poppy wrapped a hand around Garreth’s wrist to prevent him from trying to push the healer away.

──────── . ☆ * ☽ * ☆ﾟ. ────────

#5. Garreth Weasley

Mended and amused by the tension in the room, Poppy thanked Nurse Blainey for healing her before taking her leave from the Hospital Wing. MC had insisted that Poppy be seen to first, despite the Hufflepuff being mainly mended by the earlier Wiggenwelds. MC watched her and Ominis leave, hand in hand. A pitiful sigh escaped MC’s mouth as she watched them. That’s what she wanted. Someone who loved her enough to hold her hand in public, propriety be damned. The only issue was that she would only be satisfied if it was with the man beside her. The man who was also watching the new couple go, an unreadable expression on his face. Most likely agonised over watching the woman he liked walk away with another man. Ominis had finally worked up the courage to ask Poppy to accompany him to The Three Broomsticks. 

“Best drink it all in one go, dear.” Nurse Blainey advised. She had mixed numerous healing positions into one foul-smelling tonic, handing it over in a wooden goblet. “You’ll have to stay here for the night whilst your fracture mends but Mr Weasley is welcome to stay with you until curfew. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m hoping I can catch the end of the Feast. I’ve been looking forward to the choir all week.” 

Thanking the healer, MC immediately mentally cursed her when she swallowed the contents of her cup. The vile taste of the potion had her gagging, coughing loudly. Instantly, Garreth was there, a glass of orange juice in hand to chase the taste away. He had listened to MC recount the events of her fight - and the extent of her injuries - to Nurse Blainey in complete silence. Even now, he said nothing as the door shut behind the healer. The loud click echoed in her ears, reminding her that the pair of them were entirely alone. 

“You don’t have to stay with me. I’m sure you have better things to be doing.”

Garreth nodded but made no effort to move. An uncomfortable silence settled over them for the first time since their friendship developed. Their time together was usually filled with babbling antics and loud laughter. Now, the pair struggled to string a sentence together. MC’s hands moved towards each other, Garreth’s eyes tracked her movements. Fingers cracking her knuckles, she was desperate for something to focus on. Something aside from the hollow look in Garreth’s eyes. His hand shot out to still hers, and stayed there. His fingers enveloped hers, curling around her. As if he were grounding himself, reminding him that she was still here. Her heart stuttered in her chest. The tissues in her ankle slowly started realigning, pulling a pained gasp from her mouth. The sound dragged an anguished noise from Garreth’s chest. 

“Garreth, are you okay?” She whispered, concerned by his unnerving silence.  

A bitter laugh escaped his mouth. “Me? You’re the one who had to drag herself back to the castle, injured.” 

“I’m fine.” She grabbed his other hand when he turned his head away in disbelief. Garreth’s eyes instantly shot to hers. “Look, I’m alive. Unharmed.”

“But you weren’t!” He snapped. “You went out, alone. In the dark with only Poppy as your backup, and the pair of you came very close to not coming back.”

Her eyes stung at the harsh tone directed towards her. She chalked it up to being overtired and emotionally drained. Not because she felt as if she were being reprimanded. 

Garreth charged forward, oblivious to the look on her face. “I spent all evening looking for you, worried out of my mind because nobody knew where the pair of you were.”

“I told Sebastian-”

“Who was hidden away all day in some secret underground only you and Ominis know about!” 

Infuriated that tears were still pooling in her eyes, MC snapped back. “I don’t have to tell you where I am every minute of every day. You’re not my keeper! If you’re concerned that I’m dragging Poppy into danger then you should take that up with her! Besides, she’s the one who suggested we go. She made it quite clear it didn’t matter if I came or not so I went for her safety.”

“I don’t care about Poppy!” Garreth exploded, not meaning it in the way it sounded aloud. “Why must you bring her up in every conversation we have? Godric, you make it so hard to care about you sometimes.” 

MC sniffed before icily responding. “Then don’t bother. Walk away, Garreth, I’m not your problem.”

Garreth stood, and she thought he was going to listen to her, and leave. She didn’t truly want that but if she were such a burden- The pot at the end of her bed sailed across the room, smacking into the floor with a loud thud. When he turned to face her, there was no anger on his face. Only anguish. He wasn’t mad at her. He was furious with himself, for not being honest. For not being able to say the words desperately hanging to the tip of his tongue. If he had told her the truth last year, perhaps he would’ve been with her at the Poacher camp. Maybe he could have saved her from the bruises welting her back. 

“You don’t understand. I want you to be my problem. I want to worry about you, and I want to drag you to the Hospital Wing when you’re injured. Although I would really prefer you remain unharmed. But because I want to hold you in my arms afterwards, knowing you’re safe. I want to comfort you when defeating Poachers doesn’t go the way you expected. I want to take you to Hogsmeade, and hold your hands around the shops. I want to see you laugh, and know why you did so. And, I want to kiss you before a Quidditch match and when you win, even if that means I’ve lost. You are the cause of all my distractions, and the only regret I have is that you fail to understand how deeply I care for you.” 

“But, you and Poppy and seem so close?”

Was that really all she could say, MC chided herself. 

“Because she’s been trying to convince me to tell you how I feel.”

“Oh.”

“I love you. I am so deeply in love with you that every potion I’ve invented for the past year smells like you.”

And, as his thumb brushed her cheek and he leaned in closer, MC truly believed Garreth Weasley loved her. 

[daytaker]

Chat Log: A Human Child Arrives in the Devildom

Beelzebub: I don’t remember. Beelzebub: I don't remember that either. Mammon: Oi, Beel, what the hell are you saying? Satan: That isn’t Beel. It’s “the new human exchange student”. Mammon: Why are ya sayin’ that in quotes? Satan: You’ll see. Mammon: The hell does that mean?! Beelzebub: I fell. Beelzebub: I fell out a tree and then I was here. Lucifer: Satan, Asmo, Beel. I thought I said to look after the human child. Why is it sending nonsense in the chat? Asmo: It can’t talk, so we’re asking it questions out loud and having it answer like this! Lucifer: Why did you not create a new chat where you could interrogate it without annoying the rest of us? Satan: Convenience. This chat already existed. Mammon: Whoa whoa whoa, did you say human CHILD? Why the hell did you guys recruit a child? Lucifer: We didn’t. Something appears to have gone wrong in the summoning process. Barbatos is attempting to resolve the issue as we speak. Mammon: Is the kid still in the chat? Asmodeus: Yes, Beel loaned it his phone. Mammon: Hey kid, ya like ice cream? Beelzebub: Yes. Mammon: Well, I got a massive chocolate cone for any human kid who’s willing to come hang out around the central plaza for a few hours. Demons’ll pay good money to get a look at a genuine human child.  Mammon: Hey, Asmo, is it cute? Beelzebub: They want me to tell you I'm not going anywhere with you. Asmodeus: Yeah, leave the poor thing alone! It probably misses its parents! Asmodeus: And yes, it’s adorable! ♡ Mammon: Good, folks’ll pay more for that. Leviathan: Whaaaaaat? Sorry, just backread, but wow! You guys isekai’d a BABY to RAD? LOLOLOLOL Beelzebub: I’m not a baby. Lucifer: I apologize for the delay in sending this message. I was occupied with Diavolo and Barbatos. Lucifer: Mammon, if you take that child out in public and it gets eaten, I will flay you alive. Beelzebub: Do demons eat kids? Mammon: Yep. Mammon: They’re pretty freakin’ delicious too. Way better than old people. Mammon: ‘Cause they’re softer. Lucifer: Shut up and listen. Lucifer: Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem as if this issue is going to be resolved as quickly as I had hoped. Lucifer: Mammon, if I leave you in charge of the human until tomorrow, do you think you can keep it alive? Mammon: What? Why me? Ain’t Asmo and Satan there already? Lucifer: I hesitate to entrust a child to either Asmo or Satan for any extended period of time due to certain personality defects each of them possess. Asmodeus: Rude!!! Mammon: What about Beel? Lucifer: Beel would certainly eat it. Mammon: …Yeah, I guess that’s fair. Lucifer: Satan, Asmo, Beel. Please take the human to the school gates and wait for Mammon to retrieve it. In the meantime, Diavolo has graciously offered to lend it the D.D.D. he had prepared for the original transfer student, so stop by the dean’s office to pick it up. Asmodeus: Fine, we're going. Mammon: I really gotta do this, huh? Lucifer: Yes. Mammon: :( Leviathan: LOLOLOLOL!!! This is hilarious! Lucifer: Don't think I've forgotten about you, Levi. I'd like you to prepare a few dishes Barbatos says are in vogue with human children. Leviathan: Wait, are you making me its personal chef? Mammon: Ha! Serves ya right! Leviathan: Shut up, Mammon. Lucifer: Macaroni and cheese. Lucifer: Chicken tenders/nuggets (in the shape of dinosaurs, if possible) Leviathan: Dinosaurs? Lucifer: Apple juice. Lucifer: Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Lucifer: French fries. Lucifer: Cheese pizza. Leviathan: Do I have to make all of this right now? Lucifer: Chocolate chip cookies. Lucifer: Human-world grapes. Leviathan: Am I being trolled right now? Lucifer: Absolutely not. Prepare one dish immediately using whatever ingredients we already own. Lucifer: Human, if you are still here, I would like to extend my deepest apologies on behalf of the Royal Academy of Diavolo for this unfortunate mistake. Lucifer: I hope we are able to resolve this in a timely manner.

[festivalsofmargot]

Selfless {Sebastian Sallow x GN!Reader}

Introduction: Follow up to Pretty Thoughts. (I tried to write in a way you could follow what’s going on without needing to read the last part though, so jump in if you’d like!) Sebastian isn’t waiting for your permission to help you with your assignments anymore. He knows what he wants, and he’s going after it. Takes place after MC meets Anne and before Seb’s final quest. Your Hogwarts house is up to you.

Word Count: ~ 1,700

Warnings: Kissing

Author’s Note: If he wanted to, he would is the fanfic lesson of the day. This one’s a bit shorter than my others, but I feel like so much more happened! I finished up this one quicker than I thought, so I’m going to be sneaky and edit here and there if I see any typos (my worst nightmare). Hope everyone’s having a good day 🙂

Songs (if interested):

Run Away to Mars - TALK

Greek Tragedy - The Wombats

Mr. Rager - Kid Cudi

The World - TeZATalks

Sebastian was lounging on a couch in the Slytherin common room, one hand behind his head, the other rubbing at his lips. He was trying to remember the feel of your mouth on his when you had kissed him in the library. He knew a memory wasn’t the most reliable thing, but he could have sworn he felt your tongue at one point. He pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance remembering the part where the two of you had to pull apart because you heard Madam Scribner approaching.

He was going to try to get another kiss in after the two of you would have left the library together. But something shifted in your mood and you ran off without him. He had been confuzzled about it ever since. It couldn’t have been that he was a bad kisser, he didn’t think the two of you would have stopped if you didn’t have to worry about getting caught.

He had tried to catch you before you left the castle that morning, but you were nowhere to be found. He was learning fast that it wasn’t going to be easy making you his. He needed to step it up, because you were a slippery one. Just when he thought he had you in the palm of his hand, you were gone.

He decided to stop moping and take action. He shot up off the couch and went to find a few people who he was thankful were easier to find.

-

When Sebastian arrived back on campus, he was covered in scrapes and bruises, and he absolutely reeked of dirt and sweat. Merlin’s beard, was this what you did nearly every day? He needed to toughen up if he wanted to keep up with you. 

After going to find Poppy and Natty, he had asked them about everything they had planned on helping you with. He told them he would take over, lying and saying he had similar assignments. He built up quite the list: Horklumps that could only be found in caves filled with ginormous spiders, ashwinder eggs he had to find hiking in the rockiest of places, and even bogeys he had managed to knock out a troll for. The professors had no hesitancy throwing you in the deep end, did they?

He was almost worried he bit off more than he could chew, but he had managed to complete the list, making the fatigue he felt oddly satisfying.

Despite being aware of his untidy state, he headed towards the dining hall. He thanked his lucky stars he had made it back before dinner time ended. He needed to get food in him or he would faint.

A majority of the students were gone, having already gotten their fill. He began making his way to find a seat, enchanted bag in hand. But among the few students left in the dining hall, he caught sight of you. Luck was officially on his side that day, he didn’t think he would have found you at all that weekend. He headed your way, wanting to walk faster but the soreness in his legs wouldn’t allow him. 

He plopped the bag on the table, startling you. He didn’t wait for you to say anything and slumped down in the empty spot next to you, too tired to lift his legs over the bench. He leaned his elbows back on the table and let his head fall back.

After allowing himself a brief moment to finally do nothing but sit that day, he met your questioning gaze and he gestured to the bag with his chin. “Hope this helps.”

You squinted your eyes at him, trying to work out what he was talking about. 

“Go on. Open it.”

You grabbed the bag and peeked inside. It didn’t take long for you to realize it had a charm to fit what looked like a dozen large jars. Getting a closer look, you realized they were full of items you needed for your latest assignments.

“Sebastian...” A proud smile tugged at his lips at the pleasant surprise in your voice. He leaned his head back again, another wave of exhaustion hitting him.

“I told you I wanted to help you.”

“This is... amazing. I -...” You were at a loss for words, shaking your head in disbelief. “I owe you, Sebastian. Please, let me know how I can repay you.”

He glanced back at you, raising a brow. “What are you going on about? You don’t owe me a thing.”

Something warm and fuzzy formed in your chest. This was not the Sebastian you first met. What ever happened to the Slytherin who was so eager to have people in his debt?

“Then why would you - …?”

“Do you need me to spell it out for you?” He smirked.

You looked back down into the bag, hiding the smirk of your own that formed. “Please do.”

He loosely took your hand in his. He would have grabbed it with a firmer hold if he could, but his forearms were aching too much. “You make me nervous too.”

You looked up to return his gaze and your heart fluttered. 

“I’d do anything you’d ask of me.” The way he said it while looking deep into your eyes, as if he needed you to understand he meant it, made you want to melt. He gave your hand a quick squeeze. “Please don’t run off.”

Finding your voice, you assured with a whisper, “I won’t.” You squeezed his hand back.

He smiled, relief overwhelming him. “Now that we’ve got that settled,” he gave your hand a quick kiss. Releasing it, he swung his legs over the bench to face the mouth watering platters. “I hate to ask, but could you help me get some of the food onto my plate. I think my arms are going to fall off.”

The two of you laughed and you happily obliged.

-

“Food really does taste better after a day like this.” Sebastian sighed, dreamily thinking back on how the first bite of many had made him want to cry.

“It does. I don’t know how I’ll survive when we don’t have Hogwarts cooking to come home to.” You replied as the two of you made your way to the Slytherin common room. You were going to drop him off and then head out to do your astronomy assignment. Once again, Sebastian had offered to come with, but seeing how he was practically asleep on his feet, you pleaded for him to get washed up and straight to bed.

Standing outside of the Slytherin common room, Sebastian let out a long exhale, thinking about how close to his bed he was. Oh how he wanted to collapse onto it. He looked to you. “I’ll see you at breakfast tomorrow.”

“You will.” You smiled at him.

He smiled back and turned to make his way into the common room.

“Sebastian, wait.” You grabbed for his hand with the gentlest touch. He stopped walking and faced you again.

“Yes?”

“I know you’re tired, but...” You drifted off as you leaned in and pressed your lips to his. 

Though he was exhausted, he mustered up all the energy he could to kiss you back, hoping he would catch some kind of a second wind. 

He tasted earthy and salty from the dirt and sweat that covered him. The hand that cupped your neck felt extra rough and callused then, but you didn’t care. Thinking about everything he had done for you that day, you wanted more of him. Your tongue just barely licked his bottom lip and it sent a shiver up his spine.

Truth be told, you always went a little mad when he was disheveled and sweaty like this. Whenever he needed to take off his robes and roll up his sleeves, it made you weak. He especially caught your eye after dueling matches, he would be worn out with clothes and hair disordered. You always ached to stroke his hair back into place.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you. He reciprocated by wrapping his arms around your lower back. He wanted to lift you off the ground but his muscles painfully screamed in protest. So he settled for just biting at your bottom lip instead, eliciting a light moan from you.

You weren’t masters of kissing yet. Still learning the ropes, the two of you could only do what felt right in the moment, be it little nips or licks here and there. Neither of you seemed to mind, however.

The echoing sounds of students chattering and making their way down the stairs stopped your kiss. He sighed into your neck, still holding you close. “We need to find better places to do this.” And with one final kiss to your jaw he pulled away.

“Probably for the best, you need to get some rest.” You told him, straightening your shirt.

“Don’t need to tell me twice.” His eyelids were heavy, and you thought it was the most precious you’d ever seen him. 

“You’re adorable.” You told him with a cheeky smile you couldn’t hide.

“Oh, please never call me that again.” He rubbed roughly at his eyes, too sleepy to be that annoyed with your words.

You took subtle glances to see if anyone around you was looking your way. When you felt you were in the clear, you snuck a peck to his cheek, surprising him. “See you at breakfast.” And off you went.

He watched after you. You gave him quite the reward for his actions that day, he ought to do stuff like this more often.

Someone behind him gagged. “My word!” Sebastian, startled, turned to see Ominis with a face contorted in pure disgust. “You smell putrid!”

Sebastian could only nod in agreement. “I’m aware. Now, help me into the common room, will you? I think I’m about to collapse.”

Ominis scoffed “I am going nowhere near you.” He began towards the common room without him.

“Ominis, please, I’m not joking.”

[morlao]

Headcanon

(aka Sebastian constantly annoying Ominis bc he can't stop talking about MC)

Pairing:

Sebastian Sallow x fem!slytherin!reader

•••

It started the very first day.

After Sebastian had talked to you in the Slytherin common room he couldn't stop thinking about that mysterious new girl.

Actually he had planned to read more about a potential antidote for Anne that evening, but he couldn't concentrate anymore.

For hours he was staring at the pages until he finally realized it's no use.

Lost in thought he stormed into his dormotory where Ominis was just getting ready for bed. "How can I befriend the new girl?"

"Is this a serious question? You never worried about making friends before."

"Just answer my question."

Ominis shrugged. "Well, she's new here. You could offer to show her around."

A grin appeared on Sebastian's face. "Sounds like a plan. I'll talk to Professor Weasley about it tomorrow."

•••

Some days later, after he lost your duel in Professor Hecat's class, Sebastian didn't seem pissed at all - which surprised Ominis very much.

Sebastian hated losing, in fact he acted like a little kid about to throw a tantrum.

Ominis had to step in multiple times to save his classmates or the ancient furniture. But you. Sebastian didn't seem angry at all. On the contrary, he seemed to like you even more. He just couldn't shut up about your good technique.

"She's a brilliant duelist. I didn't have a chance. Amazing technique!"

This was the first time Ominis suspected that his friend might have a crush on you.

•••

However, Ominis decided not to talk to him about it - not yet. After all, he wasn't sure if Sebastian himself had noticed it.

Ominis decided to give him a little more time... until Sebastian accompanied you to Hogsmeade and the two of you DEFEATED A TROLL.

He couldn't believe it when Sebastian told him about it during dinner. The way he described you and your fighting skills, so detailed, so excited.

He was so busy with talking that he almost forgot to eat. Some of the other students that were sitting near them giggled as they watched him.

Imelda showed her typical grin. "Sounds like someone is in love", she teased.

Sebastian stared at her as if he had just realized that she might be right. As if it wasn't obvious to him before.

•••

A few days later Sebastian told Ominis about his feelings for you for the first time. He seemed to have fallen fast and hard.

"Ominis, I guess I'm in love with her."

Ominis facepalmed. "Oh, really? What a surprise."

"I've never met someone like her before. You have to meet her! I've got a feeling that she'll bring lots of adventure."

So a few days later, Sebastian introduced you to each other.

•••

From that day on, you were Sebastian's main topic.

Whenever he hung out with Ominis, you were all he talked about.

After you had met Ominis and the two of you became friends, it got a little easier. Since you three were together most of the time, Sebastian couldn't simp about you anymore. What a relief!

Ominis made sure you were always around. You two got along very well and he really liked you.

You shared the same sense of humor, you liked reading and often read to him and you often told him about your life before Hogwarts.

It didn't take long until Sebastian got jealous. "Are you trying to steal her away from me?"

This was the first time in years that Ominis felt anger burning inside him. "Do you really think I would ever do that? Do you really think I'm such a bad friend?"

Immediately Sebastian felt guilty. "I'm sorry, I didn't..."

Ominis nodded. "It's okay and just that you know... she's like a sister to me."

•••

Whenever it was just the two of them and Seb sighed Ominis was just ignoring it.

He was naive enough to ask what was wrong the first time and.... never again. He didn't get one hour of sleep that night.

Unfortunately Seb never took Ominis' silence as an answer. He walked up straight to his bed in the middle of the night, sat down on the edge and sighed again heavily.

Annoyed Ominis turned around and sat up with an extra exaggerated yawn, but of course Seb didn't care.

As soon as he saw that Ominis was awake he started.

Ominis didn't even have to say the annoyed "what?"

"It's just... she's hanging out with Garreth a lot lately and..."

"Yeah because that's what friends do. They hang out together."

"I don't think Garreth wants to be just friends."

They've had this conversation a million times already. Ominis didn't know what to say anymore, it didn't matter anyway, as Sebastian wouldn't listen to his tips. He never did.

"Seb just go to sleep."

"You studied together this afternoon, didn't you? Did she say something about me?"

"Yeah, that you're annoying."

"Come on, tell me what she really said."

"She did say that. Also she thinks that you're stubborn but a good friend."

"Did she sound like she liked me? As more than a friend, you know."

Ominis let out an annoyed growl. "You are aware that I'm trying to sleep?"

"Did she sound like she liked me?"

"FOR MERLIN'S SAKE! Go to sleep, maybe I'll tell you tomorrow. "

•••

To be honest, Ominis was pretty sure that you liked Sebastian.

You had never said anything like that but he had enough of other evidence.

Being blind made you pay attention to the details after all. For example how your way of speaking changed whenever Sebastian came around.

Your voice got a little higher, you talked faster and he was pretty sure he could hear you smiling the whole time.

Damn, he was pretty sure the two of you were looking at each other like lovesick idiots and were still completely oblivious. It was frustrating!

•••

When Sebastian finally found the courage to plan his confession, of course he annoyed Ominis again.

Why the hell did he think Ominis knew everything about girls and how to tell them he's in love?

Ominis didn't have a girlfriend and he also wasn't the girls' number one crush.

Nevertheless Sebastian thought he was the perfect contact person for this. "Ominis, please, I don't know what to say."

"Trust your instincts, you're good with words."

Ominis himself wasn't sure if that's a good tip to give. Yes, Sebastian was charming, but around you he acts either like a total jerk or a player. And from what he knew about you, he could tell for sure that you wouldn't wanna date a player.

"Maybe you should act more like a gentleman around her", he corrected himself.

Sebastian seemed offended. "I am a gentleman. I'm charming."

"You don't seem like a gentlemen, you seem like a flirt. Today you said 》bella ciao《 to her and winked at her."

Sebastian grimaced. "Yeah, but sometimes I do act like a gentleman. I always accompany her to her classes, I carry her books and I give her my notes when she skips classes again."

"Okay, then slip in subtle hints of liking her."

"I saved her from detention when Peeves caught us in the forbidden section of the library. Does she really think I would do that for everyone?"

•••

The following night was again a living nightmare for Ominis.

He had barely fallen asleep when he heard Seb (who had been tossing and turning in his bed the whole time) calling out his name. "Ominis, are you awake?"

"What do you want?" At this point Ominis didn't even try to hide the fact that he was annoyed.

"I'm not sure if I should really confess tomorrow... I mean... what should I say?"

"Trust me... when you're standing in front of her, you'll know."

The truth was, Ominis wasn't sure about this advice, he actually just wanted Seb to shut up and let him sleep.

On top of that, he was pretty sure, you liked Seb, so there was no reason for him to be nervous.

"But Ominis, she's way out of my league. She's incredibly smart and talented. She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen and have you seen the way she smiles when she..."

"Okay, enough!" Ominis sat up and sighed heavily, giving up a fight he couldn't win anyway. "Maybe you should imagine you're talking to me. Say it exactly the way you tell me about her."

For a moment Seb was quiet, which Ominis thought to be a good sign.

"Okay, I'll try. But Ominis..."

"SEBASTIAN SALLOW, I SWEAR TO MERLIN, ONE MORE WORD AND I'LL..."

•••

The next day, Seb was waiting for you in the common room.

It was a pretty nice day, so most of the people were outside, only a couple of first years were sitting at a table, giggling and laughing.

"Fuck, I'm nervous...", Sebastian murmured, running a hand through his hair.

"Hey" Ominis smiled "You don't need to be."

"Can I practise before she comes in?"

Ominis grimaced. "Okay, if that's what it takes for you to leave me alone..."

"Yeah, I promise..." Sebastian cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair. "Okay... there is something that I want to tell you. First of all, you're amazing! You're the bravest and most talented person I've ever met. You're the only one who can beat me at a duel. And.... I'm not sure if this will ruin our friendship but I think I'm in love with you."

You rose your eyebrow, an amused smile on your lips. "Wow, I didn't know you could be that romantic."

Sebastian whirled around, his face as red as the Gryffindor's flag. "Y/N! You're... here..."

You can't help but laugh. You've never seen him this embarrassed before. "Yeah, you asked me to come, remember?"

"Hi Y/N", Ominis greeted you with a smile, before stepping back and signalling for Seb to go on.

"So... I... I wanted to tell you something", Seb started, struggeling to find the right words. He didn't expect you to show up so early, catching him completely unprepared.

Your gace darted from Ominis to Seb. Why was he acting so weird. "Does it have something to do with your confession to Ominis?"

Again, Seb's head turned bright red. "Well, actually... that confession was for you."

You looked at him completely startled. It was for you? Everything he said about falling in love and ruining your friendship?

It was your dream come true.

Nevertheless you tried to play it cool, rising an eyebrow and shooting him a grin. "Oh and you confused me with him because we look so alike?"

At first Sebastian looked at you confused, but as he realized you were joking, he became more relaxed. "Yep, you really do. Are you sure you're not twins?"

"Not exactly."

Both of you laughed, then Sebastian stepped closer, softly grabbing your hand. "Okay, I guess I have to make sure to confess to the right person this time... Y/N, I've been in love with you for quite a while now and... I wanted to ask if you want to go on a date with me."

Damn his smile, his charming smile.

"I would love to", you smile back and Sebastian's face lights up like a Christmas tree.

You step closer to him, intertwining your fingers behind his neck while pulling him down towards you.

You can feel a firework exploding in your chest, when your lips finally collide. His kiss is soft and sweet at first but starts to become more passionate pretty fast.

You couldn't believe it. You were really kissing Sebastian Sallow!

Ominis clears his throat and the two of you let go of each other. "I might not be able to see you, but that doesn't mean that I can't hear you snogging."

Both of you blush deeply and giggle. "Sorry, Ominis!"

[ashdreams2023]

Hello! Can u do one where Snape and student reader has a platonic bantering relationship? Like Snape favors them a lot and students and teachers clearly notices but Snape and Student likes to go back and forth with petty insults. Kinda like making the other students and professors confused if Snape actually favors them or not. But when someone insults the other they would passionately defend them. Something along the lines of "only I can insult Snape/Student" It can be like Snape is complaining abt Student to McGonagall then suddenly McGonagall agrees and adds her complaints making Severus defend student suddenly. Or when Student is complaining to her friends abt how awful Snape is but when her friends insult him she also defends him. HAHAHAHA i don't know if it makes sense so I understand if u can't make it lol.

Git

Platonic severus snape x reader

Severus didn’t like when students disrespected him, just because he’s young didn’t mean he wasn’t worthy out it.

That’s one of many reasons he’s so strict, students just learn to stay out of his way like that but then again there we’re always the ones who just didn’t get the hint.

And one of them was you.

Honestly you were bound to be trouble the second you opened your mouth in his classroom, left him gritting his teeth and furiously angry at the house you were from.

You were blunt, annoying and hotheaded.

"But Professor just one last chance! You need too you know this was not my best performance!"

"Sounds like a you problem."

It would be like that then after some more nagging he would give in because you we’re starting to give him a headache and he couldn’t give you detention for asking for help.

At one point he just gave up with your tactics all together and what made it worse was that you kept your promises, you did your work, participated in class, and regardless of the back talk and half assed comments at each other you were not, dare he say…insufferable but just more tolerable than most.

Although minerva likes to say you’re his favorite but he denies it every time, he doesn’t have favorites and he merely tolerates you.

"Severus due give this to young miss [——] when you go to the great hall"

"Do I look like an owl Minerva?" He said irritated.

The older professor gave him a look before he groaned and took the textbook and went on his way to the great hall where students were starting to gather in for lunch.

The great hall was buzzing with chatter, students were too busy to notice him enter and he liked it that way, he looked around then landed his eyes on you sitting on the gryffindor table to his pleasure, chatting with potter and granger.

He approached you slowly but stopped when he heard potter mentioning him.

"I swear I can’t do it anymore! If I get another troll on my next assignment I’m gonna try convincing Dumbledore that it’s not necessary in the curriculum"

"Don’t be dramatic, potions just need some focusing and if you tried not picking fight with snape things would be easier, I know he’s an ass but come on" you replied.

Hermione cleared her throat "it’s Professor Dumbledore Harry and professor snape to you!" She pointed at you but you just shrugged "moral of the story she’s right Harry you just need to focus, try to pay attention in class instead of neglecting your grades just to spite professor snape"

Harry crossed his arms "easy for her to say, she’s his favorite, it’s honestly starting to piss me off! He’s a git who only cares about his own house and I hope he does get that dark arts position at least then he would leave hogwarts one way or another!"

Harry regretted his words the second they left his mouth, the look you gave him was a mix of shock and angry.

"What is wrong with you?! I know he’s a git, he’s unfair and sometimes plain unreasonable when he feels like it but wishing death on him just because you dislike him!"

"[——] calm down Harry didn’t mean it like that!"

"That’s not-"

"That’s exactly what you meant Harry! He’s mean but he’s not a monster" you said all of that while not realizing snape was standing right there, watching and observing the whole thing.

It made his chest a tad tight, he hated the feeling but the look of absolute shame on Harry’s face made him satisfied.

Maybe he does have favorites.

"Snape? What are you doing with my textbook!" You said finally noticing him standing there with you transfigurations textbook. He scoffed and handed you the textbook.

"You brats would lose your head if it they weren’t attached to your body"

You frowned and took your textbook from him.

"I remember important stuff…like washing my hair" you smirked

Snape glared at you, screw what he just thought, you were still annoying.

[tossawary]

One of my favorite Discworld books is actually one of the more obscure ones, "Moving Pictures", which is about the invention of films and the movie business in this fantasy world that has dwarves and trolls and wizards and so on. It has its rough patches like every early Discworld book, but Ginger's speech about people who were born in the wrong time or wrong place for their dreams really gets to me in a good way, and I love all of the references to classic films and commentary on fame and creativity. It also has classic characters like Gaspode the Talking Dog and C.M.O.T. Dibbler, and it introduces Detritus's romance with another troll named Ruby.

Perhaps most importantly to me is that this book introduces Ponder Stibbons, who is a wizard, and who goes on in later books to be one of the most important members of the Unseen University (he holds like twelve different positions), in that he's one of the few people who can competently manage a project and so ends up managing nearly everything. (Bear with me, it's been a while since I read any Discworld and my memory is a little rough.) In "Moving Pictures", Ponder is the classmate (roommate?) of a fellow named Victor Tugelbend, who is one of the main characters.

Victor begins the book as a career student, in that a wealthy relative left him a great deal of money exclusively for school; so as long as he STAYS in school, all of his living expenses are paid for. If Victor graduates, that's the end of the money. If Victor drops out, that's the end of the money. But if Victor manages to hit a specific mark range in the 80s every year, then he gets to stay on for another year and try again, and so Victor is perhaps the most dedicated and knowledgeable wizardry student in the university's history, because you have to know what the right answer is in order to intentionally get a certain number of the questions wrong, so that you can continue to coast along on your college fund.

Ponder's graduation is (accidentally) Victor's fault, because Victor runs away to get into the movie business. (I won't spoil what happens, but it's VERY funny.) Now, I like to imagine after the events of the book, after Ponder holds a faculty position in the university, Victor comes BACK to the university occasionally as a disgustingly well-paid external consultant, which drives Ponder UP THE FUCKING WALL. Like, people are so stingy all of the time but SOMEHOW the university budget has room to bring your offensively handsome dropout roommate back just to say, "Hmm, yes, that looks bad. Have you tried turning it off and on again?" I'd throw a fit, honestly. (As soon as Ponder has enough seniority, he probably puts his foot down to stop this if Victor isn't actually useful. Maybe he is, idk, but maybe not for THAT consulting fee.)

I also like to imagine that Victor Tugelbend and Theda "Ginger" Withel are still together, maybe even still acting (badly? mediocre-ly? decently?) together, in some dingy little theatre (Ginger is the director and runs their acting troupe like a tyrant) where the front seats are regularly filled with middle-aged folks who still sigh over the memories of moving pictures. (Moving pictures are now, presumably, VERY illegal in Ankh Morpork.) Victor and Ginger have only because even more attractive as they've gotten older, which is EVEN MORE OFFENSIVE to poor Ponder because his former movie star former roommate is married to another gorgeous former movie star?! I'd throw another fit.

Anyway, I think Ponder deserves to have an affair with a pair of aging former movie stars. I like to imagine this purely because I think it's funny. He seems kind of busy for marriage, so joining someone else's marriage part-time might be good for him. It probably makes most of the rest of the Unseen University faculty breathlessly envious and that really does it for him.

And I think that this affair would OF COURSE be covered by every newspaper and tabloid in the city, including The Times, and William de Worde and Sacharissa Cripslock don't fully understand why their entertainment reporter is so breathlessly excited about people who were famous over a decade ago? (Supermarket tabloids love to tell me about alleged affairs of people who were famous 20+ years ago.) The article on Victor Maraschino and Delores De Syn's failing marriage* is their bestselling newspaper in months and William puts his head down on his desk in despair. (He's fine. This happens on a weekly at least basis. He just needs a minute.)

*Victor and Ginger are very happy with this situation, actually. They're going to take Ponder to dinner to go on a double date with Ruby and Detritus soon. Victor and Ponder are going to get distracted arguing about some of the Inadvisably Applied Magic research projects, but that's fine, because Ginger wants to talk to Ruby about this one-troll-woman-show concept. (Detritus will proudly hand out tickets at the Watch station and accidentally intimidate all of his coworkers into accepting the invitation.)

[chososcamgirl]

𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆 - the old heads

—

—

m. list

background !

the five friends have been a close knitted group ever since highschool, and that didn’t change throughout college or after.

shoko graduated with valedictorian and top of the class and nanami was bitter about it for 3 days and didn’t talk to shoko at all. she completed her md and residency and now is an orthopaedic surgeon. choso and gojo both studied computer science in college however gojo just barely passed all his classes not because he wasn’t completing the work but because he was absent for almost half of them. satoru often takes advantage of the few skills he learnt in his classes and makes troll sites and leaks people’s ip on val after he loses (he shortly becomes semi-famous for this). choso, who actually paid attention in class, now works for a software company. nanami graduated with a degree in engineering and is planning to start his own company with the help of suguru who teaches with a degree in business and hospitality.

suguru, choso and satoru all live in a condo together and are all rather living pretty comfortably. whilst shoko and nanami choose to live separately and own a house each, they all live within the same block so if ever they need help, it’s just a 2 minute drive. upon graduating with a degree in business and hospitality, suguru opens up a new cafe. he has been planning this for the past year and nothing was stopping him now that he has all the expenses paid off. even though satoru is a trust fund baby and offered to give him all the money for it early on, suguru declined not because of his pride but because he needed to do this on his own for himself.

fun facts !

ᨘ໑▸ the characters included in this post are all aged 27-28 years old.

ᨘ໑▸ choso always scolds satoru about his digital footprint but that man does not GAF.

ᨘ໑▸ the whole group meets atleast once a week - which is usually friday nights at the condo in which they all eat dinner together - choso always ends up being the cook because not only does he volunteer but because he makes knows how to make a mean dish. the night usually ends in a board game which always ends up with gojo sulking and throwing a tantrum, accusing the winner (which is nanami most of the time) of cheating and then drinking until he forgets about the whole thing and starts dancing on the table.

ᨘ໑▸ due to satoru’s antics with trolling and doxxing and his new found fame, the whole group is blew up by association.

ᨘ໑▸ suguru adopted a stray black and white cat left on the side of the road. he called her ‘spring’. he loved her until her last breath up until she died 5 years later when he was 18. he cried for a week and gojo comforted him whole time. it was bittersweet but he knew she was in a better place. this was one of the reasons the cat cafe he’s opening is going to be home to multiple strays which will be up for adoption.

ᨘ໑▸ someone made a velocity thirst edit of choso after finding out about him through gojo and it’s now repeatedly played during dinner.

ᨘ໑▸ nanami and choso hated eachother in highschool because both of them claimed to be my chemical romance’s #1 fan

ᨘ໑▸ gojo was not joking in those tweets..

a/n: if i ever make typos plz do not make fun of me </3

#𝐂𝐀𝐓 𝐂𝐀𝐅𝐄

synopsis ; the season of sun-kissed oceans and golden-hued moments is before you! however being a broke college student is not an ideal look to have, especially at your age. desperately seeking solace from financial woes, you and your bestfriend stumble upon an unexpected opportunity - a cat cafe. crafting lattes and pampering purring patrons seems easy enough, right? that fantasy lasts about one day before reality claws in.

🏷️taglist: @coquetteslvt @aliventboo @izakyun @luvvmae @tuihiatus @soonajeeme @ascybous @rotten1angel @catobsessedlady @myguumi @enhleui @viviennevianna @spacebaby1 @iheartlinds @haikyuu-tothetop @mua-for-now @waytootiredforthisss @j2upiters

[charmwasjess]

If there’s a legit good reason why Qui-Gon chose to specialize in form IV, Ataru, the Hawkbat lightsaber form, aside from the simple, likely fact that he did it to troll his old Master Dooku (who outright calls the acrobatics of the form “ridiculous,”) I’d like to hear it. By which I mean I’ll write you a post about it.

Ataru is fast, aggressive, and inclined to treat the battlefield as a 3D space where the air is just as comfortable a place to be as on your own two feet. A direct response to Soresu, the “defense is my attack” form, Ataru flips that into “attack is my defense.” (We won’t talk about Makashi’s contribution to the conversation: “no defense whatsoever, but think fast, I just threw a dinner fork at you so hard it stuck in your metal arm!”) 

Of course, the most recognizable and classic application of Ataru is Yoda’s; we see him whizzing around people’s heads like a little green hummingbird in his AotC and RotS duels. Qui-Gon’s version looks nothing like that. If we weren’t told, I think it would be hard to guess that those characters are using the same form. In Duel of the Fates, Qui-Gon has to move down or over those infamous walkways repeatedly. He just jumps them: no flips, no aerial maneuvers, no bouncing off the walls. And this isn’t simply a practical choice for his age and build: Jocasta Nu is running up walls and leaping out of skyscrapers at easily aged 40 years older than Qui-Gon, and for all Dooku’s bitching over Ataru acrobatics, he does more flips to simply avoid walking down a few stairs than Qui-Gon, Master of the flip form, does in his entire time on screen. 

And yet, on some level, all of that makes perfect sense for Qui-Gon. Who better to completely subvert a form? This is a character who is contrary as fuck, full of wonderful contradiction, who blends lightsaber theory centered on attack and aggression with literal meditation. While the most notable scene, actually kneeling in the pose and everything, is in TPM, he does battle meditation repeatedly on a mental level in the Master and Apprentice and Padawan novels. (And it rightfully freaks out Obi-Wan.) Qui-Gon takes Ataru’s “your whole body is a weapon” and doesn’t apply that to somersaults, but rather, to moves like punching Darth Maul off a balcony as we see him do in Duel of the Fates. He fights in a way that throws himself bodily up against obstacles. You can see the same physicality of his relationship with his weapon in the scene where he is simply burning through the blast doors in TPM. We’ve seen Jedi cut through things on screen other times, but that scene is remarkable and memorable for Qui-Gon’s level of intensity. He is the battering ram. 

And we could loop back into lineage, couldn’t we? Qui-Gon stands in a line of Jedi with unconventional relationships to their lightsaber forms; their choices are formed in context of and in conversation with each other. Those backward, momentum-gaining swings from Duel of the Fates look very familiar, but who trained Qui-Gon? (And who notoriously had a problem with Ataru and might've pushed his student on some workarounds or encouraged him to cut out bits he didn't like, such as aerials?) And speaking of, is it a stretch to think that Dooku’s own casual backflips are less a considered choice and more an old habit, being himself trained by a Master who has only a theoretical relationship with gravity? 

All this to enjoy just another example of how personal the lightsaber forms can be to specific Jedi, and what wonderful fun it is to unpack the ways they use them differently because of their unique personalities and lineage.

[searchingsomewhere]

Nero's 50 Follower Special: JJK Headcannons!

Here's some of my SFW + NSFW headcannons for JJK! Plus, a bonus: the guy's favorite positions.

Asks are welcome! Visit my masterlist for more stuff I've written. :)

[Rated M below the cut. Minors Do Not Interact]

Kento Nanami

Is a really big rom com guy. He loves watching movies at home with her. The Notebook is a favorite.

Loves kids. He wants to get married and have a few, but doesn't want to raise them in the Jujustu world.

Loves cooking. He's definitely the chef in the relationship, and he cooks for his friends, too.

Definitely is shy being intimate at first, but I think once he's comfortable, he's a lot kinkier than you'd think.

Using his tie as a leash is especially something that gets him going, especially when he's going down on her.

His favorite position is cowgirl, especially if he's sitting up, so he can watch her bounce on his cock.

Satoru Gojo

Frequently gets migraines because of his Six Eyes. His blindfold and blacked out glasses helps to nullify it.

Is big into social media, but usually lurks. He likes to troll people online and frequently gets death threats from randos. Laughs about it.

Always takes his students out to eat after missions. He didn't have a strong adult presence as a child because he was super independent, so he actively tries to be there for all his students.

Is definitely a switch. With some people he comes off as more dominate in the bedroom, but with the right person he's putty in their hands.

Loves to leave hickeys, especially in places people will see. His favorite place to mark is the neck and chest.

Loves going down. This man is starved. Making out with her cunt is what he fantasizes about on the daily. He pumps his cock or grinds into the bed to the sound of her moaning.

Suguru Geto

A country boy at heart. He loves being out in the countryside, even though it brings back hard memories of his village.

Is a whiskey expert. One of the ways he enjoys winding down after a long day is to smoke a cigarette and have a glass of whiskey on the rocks while he sits by the window.

Loves to read. His apartment is full of novels from all over the world, and he even taught his girls how to read.

Is dominant by nature. Had a few threesomes in his life and he's always in charge.

Is the type to hold her face in his hands while someone else fucks her and makes her beg for his cock in her mouth.

The best way to make him cum quick is to pull his hair while he's plunging his cock deep inside her.

Toji Fushiguro

Is a pretty good handyman. When his wife was alive, he handled all of the house maintenance.

Likes sports, especially baseball. He used to take Megumi to games when he could, and he's always watching sports in his free time.

Has some intimacy issues since his wife passed. He's also not one to talk about personal feelings.

Is 100% rough in bed. This man is a beast in the streets and the sheets. He needs a girl that can really handle it.

Loves slapping her; her face, her tits, her pussy. Not hard enough to really hurt, but the degradation is so hot for him. He wants her to be his slut.

His favorite position is the mating press. He can't keep his fingers off her clit when he's jackhammering into her.

Choso Kamo

A night owl who hasn't gotten good sleep in years. He prefers staying up and working late and sleeping during the day.

Definitely has some peircings; either his nipples or navel or both. He has a ton of ear peircings and likes wearing uneven earrings.

He enjoys playing video games on console with Yuji. His favorite types of video games are Jrpgs and fighting games, but he's also very good at rhythm games.

Submissive as hell. He'll be rough if she demands it, though, and he relishes in being praised for doing as he's told.

Loves being handled rough; Smack him, choke him, bite him, he's all for it. His favorite is hearing how good he's making her feel and how much he's filling her up.

Favorite position is 69. Especially if it starts with her riding his face and ends with his cock being worshipped.

[simplydannie]

It was one of my students first time watching Trolls Band Together on the last day of school,

I think that’s all he watched during the summer cause he has been talking it about it none stop 😂

It’s the cutest thing. He’ll randomly walk up to me and go:

“John Dory has to get his brothers to sing the perfect family harmony! Then the diamond will explode!”

[late-to-the-party-81]

Art versus Science

AN: And here is my last Mood board which hopefully gives me a bingo (if I've done my sums rights and done all my submission forms!)

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Bingos and Challenges: Stucky Bingo N1 - Empire State University

Apparently it all started when one of Professor Barnes’ Engineering students decided to take Professor Rogers’ Basics of Art History module as an elective. Some students saw them in a heated debate in the food hall before they both stomped off to their respective offices.

From then, it was only a matter of time before students of both Engineering and Art History began to troll the two professors, taking electives in both disciplines.

“I saw Barnes scowl earlier, after he caught sight of my textbook on pre-raphaelite painters,” Peter said through a mouthful of noodles. “He then asked me if I was doing enough studying of my core subjects.”

MJ snorted opposite him. “Rogers is just as bad. He overheard me talking to Gwen about logic gates as he came into the classroom and made a big speech about how we’re all here to learn with our hearts and souls, not just our brains.”

“I wish they’d get along,” Ned added morosely.

Bucky stood outside Steve’s office, his brows pinched and his lips pursed as students side-eyed him and whispered as they walked by. He knocked, brusquely, and a moment later a deep voice called out “Come in.”

As he stepped through, he made certain to close and lock it behind him. Across the room, Steve rose from his desk and made his way into his husband's embrace.

“When do you think they’ll figure it out?” he asked.

Bucky rested his forehead against Steve’s. “That we’re married or that we’re trolling them?”

“Both,” Steve clarified with a chuckle. “Although I like to think we’re giving them a more rounded, less blinkered education. Now, shut up and kiss me.”

Tag list: @ronearoundblindly @christywrites @alexakeyloveloki @doasyoudesireandlive @galactusdevourerofworlds @crayongirl-linz @mightstill @nicoline1998enilocin @starrkermarvel @kmc1989 @km-ffluv @wheezy-stucky @kombatfather1796