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Sketch dump to clear out my layers again! Lots of nude drawings haha
#sketch dump#bekkodraws#jhinshen#shenjhin#they get to be tagged bc they're special to me#and tag is never active anyways lol
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Pictured: Loop being extremely normal as they lay in their shallow (homemade) grave as they meditate on existence and also if they have annoyed the Researcher enough THIS time for her to murder them and bury them alive.
(Spoilers - they did not annoy her even CLOSE to that much.)
And there is the required reverse image of Odile arriving - she's had a LONG day (i.e. previous loop), and due to this it will take ten minutes before she even acknowledges the shallow grave Loop is laying in, as she was distracted complaining about what Siffrin just did to annoy her.
----
I'd say there's context for all of that, because like...there IS context? Here's the link to the series of fics that HAS that context even! But also...even with context...can't say that it's going to make any of this less weird.
Mostly Odile is looping because due to Loop's wish the universe got rewritten to make Siffrin's repression and emotional issues (the ones bad enough to get him stuck in a time loop in the game) 'someone else's' problem...or at least that's Loop's best theory atm!
Regardless, context or not, I'm quite happy with how the pics came out, and figured I might as well post them here too.
#isat#isat loop#isat odile#in stars and time#like a wheel ever turning au#odile looping au#my art#This was vaguely gesturing at the 'Siffrin gets woken up by Mirabelle' at the start of the game#but like#RADICALLY recontextualized to be near unrecognizable#also vaguely gesturing at the 'hanged man' tarot card because Loop's too fabulous to not pose dramatically in the grave they dug themselves#just to make a point#a point which odile then processed to ignore#Gotta say from the point that i got the vision of loop digging their own grave#the chapter basicly wrote itself#i love how much black humour In Stars in Time fanfics can have without it killing the tone by making it humourless!#It IS possible to write idiots in time loops dying horribly and still have it be a black comedy in pokemon#but LORD that was so much harder to keep the tone balanced with#....look.#i KNOW i have a thing for time loops#i imprinted on Steins;Gate when it first came out and was never the same again#that anime has it's many issues but also it rewrote part of my brain#...also...verbal ticks.#still say 'dootdeedoo~!' unironically#to be fair! I also would say 'nya' as a verbal tick - had to ACTIVELY unlearn doing it even so i'd stop doing it at lecturers in uni#why yes! i was REALLY easy to mock as a teen lol#anyway these tags got off topic#let's wrap this shit up
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do you ever think about how all you used to draw when you were 10 was ponies and that you should still know how to do that, then get an idea and proceed to draw something like these in nearly one sitting and it turns out better than any drawing you've done in the entire past month
sooo anyway does anyone have cutie mark or pony name ideas for them?? lol
#(the b girl lineups are older than a month because i procrastinated a lot on doing minor fixes. nothing i drew in the month of june 2024#is really worth showing it's all shitty doodles lmao)#bnha#class 1b#mlp#?#yui kodai#setsuna tokage#itsuka kendo#ibara shiozaki#(i love how she came out in particular! creature :3)#reiko yanagi#tikto's art#you may be wondering why pony of all people isn't here.#i did draw her! but i kind of ran out of steam so i ended up not really liking the result lol same for kinoko#anyway shoutout to elementary school me i was SO obsessed with mlp. brony stuff was one of the first things i used the internet for#and you know what. i wouldn't say it ruined me it was a pleasant experience#i just read what was basically a polish version of equestria daily and constantly checked the deviantart profile of one (1) specific artist#that i liked a lot#i did watch some weird speedpaints (yknow the horror ones) but i honestly dont remember being very bothered by them i just liked the art#i was just chilling there lurking and never actively participating due to being 10 and afraid of online strangers (good for me tbh)#i remember having an identity crisis though because can i really call myself a brony if i'm a little girl? the target audience of the show?#lmao anyway i would also draw ponies constantly and write oc fanfics (and the ocs were actually my irl friends ponified)#and i even had my own little g5 concept. good times good times#tag story time over god bless enjoy your day
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Tonight was wild, I accidentally took the wrong bus and had to wait 20 minutes in the cold for the right one and then there was a problem with the booze vouchers I prepaid and I had to fight hard for them only the realize that the only beer available was lukewarm corona, it was a lot
#me#selfie#the guys at the voucher table were sooooooo annoyed with me especially the one who actively handled my issue#and i was just like darling you're gonna give me my 12$ worth of vouchers or i'm gonna fraud my card and let my bank deal with it#they didn't like me saying that but like...it's true#well guess what i complained and whined enough and some other guy dressed like the frankestein's creature came and gave me my vouchers#never be mean and rude to random employees but also never be afraid to be a 'karen' it's a capitalist myth to make you accept trash anyway#this said fighting *this* hard for some corona..bruh...#also fun fact i litterally bought those vouchers so i wouldn't waste any time at the party...ha...ha..ha...#the actual party was still a lot of fun tho!#i'm gonna post pics and write long ass tags about it in the next post i just had to vent first lol#also chronologically the mess happened first so yeah
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I just think Toei gives Vegeta a lot of shit for a guy who's maintained his rank within the top ten most powerful beings in the mortal realm since he was like five years old.
#and he did it without dragon balls OR senzu beans OR magic chi unlocks OR otherworldly help he's just been grinding for 30 years#every time I see a fan like 'vegeta's so weak bro lol' i'm like?? Hm?? Where??#I will never forgive toei for writing him the way they do in the movies but even with their ass character choices like#He's still Consistently The Fuck Out Here#When he tells Kiwi that he's actively choosing to be on the front lines instead of kicking back like he could be with his status as a lord#and then the payoff in Super when they're like 'damn vegeta must be a prodigy' Pybara is like 'yeah that's because he works his ass off'#the way I yelled!! And it's true of Goku too!!#I had to explain to a friend the other day too that Bardock's wish re: his boys doesn't remove all the grinding Goku's done over his life#It helped him survive and meet people the same way it did Raditz but Goku's still been training every single day. all his life.#The reason Raditz lost is because he didn't train his tail like Nappa and Vegeta did -- he knew it was a problem with a solution#and never addressed the problem. Goku consistently dug his heels in and worked to overcome any weakness he discovered in his body#no opportunity is going to help you if you don't put the work in. that's why Vegeta's arc is so good. He puts the work in on all fronts.#and why I am constantly mad at Toei for writing his relationships the way they do because it is so deeply inconsistent with his themes#anyway here's another essay in the tags aksldjaskjld
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celia bean can have a little being weird and obsessive over chris's relationships, both romantic and platonic, because she's threatened by anyone who enters his life and willingly gives him the love she's never been capable of giving him and thus weakening her control over him. as a treat
#a treat for me to be clear. not for them lmao#anyway wrote the draft of this post right after watching psycho so i was gonna specify romantic relationships but tbh she hates anyone#who gets close to chris just in general lol#she looooves controlling him and hates when people care about him. how dare you let my son believe he's lovable#*i* don't love him and so the problem is clearly with him and not with me! stop convincing him otherwise!#<- celia's broken ass thought process. i just like the idea that she really can't handle not being capable of caring about chris#tfw you were forced into the role of motherhood despite never really wanting it because you believed what you were Supposed To Do#so when you finally have your kid you resent him but that conflicts with your self image and threatens your perceived role as Loving Mother#so you have to actively sabotage your son at every second so he never knows he deserves better than you#that's how i envision it anyway. boy did these tags get away from me lmao#the goes wrong show#chris bean#celia bean#abuse tw#marshy speaks
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The asexual x allo dating dynamic is so wack because you guys will have sex like once a month and they’ll be really needy for you but you’re like “?? We literally JUST had sex!” And they’ll be like “no we didn’t, it’s been like 2 weeks” and you have to remember how some people literally do this like every other day HOW
#lol but Fr tho#like my partner will be like pleaseeeee duckyfan let’s make love#and I’m like#but we literally just did that#and they’re like no it’s been three ENTIRE DAYS#and I’m like yes exactly#it’s literally not even been a week#just ace things#like I have to actively remember that some people actually crave this more than once a year unlike me#I wonder how much of this is actually my asexuality and how much of it is the internalized sex repulsion pushed my purity culture#i guess we’ll never know#anyways#Demi#asexual#sex neutral#sex positive#idek#sex neutral asexual#asexual x allo#asexual christian#ik most Christianity is averse to anything queer adjacent#but I’m still a Christian#and I happen to be asexual/ Demi. the terms really resonated with me#you know what I mean#?#anyways gonna go watch ER and go to bed before I meet the Dean tmmrw about my grades :’)#sorry for the novel in the tags#if you made it this far#you deserve a lil treat go get one
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sometimes i can’t believe i was posting wips every single wednesday and sunday for literal months like who even was that person
#and now i can’t even write a paragraph without taking a month break#or monthS should i say#god why aren’t the words so easy anymore 😫😖#this writers block thing is doing my absolute head in#i get so excited to still be tagged#and then i’m all ☹️ cos i have no words to share back#i have so many wips so may ideas but i am so scattered#i miss writing soooo much#and instead of actually writing#i just think about it#and never get any words down#also we’re like a third of the way thru the new season and that is scaring me#i feel like by the time i can write again or finish a fic i’ll have missed the boat#and everyone will have moved on#or already written the same idea but better#and it’ll be like hey! what’s the point#anyway i’ll try to be reassured by the fact everyone stayed active during an 18 month hiatus#and the more fics the merrier#also feels like i’m trying to make up for lost time#for all the years the show aired and i wasn’t apart of the fandom#i want to enjoy and savour all the moments of the new season with you all#and get out of my own head#but that won’t be tonight 🥲#🌀 hours#don’t mind me being a sook lol#emphasis on the sunday scaries tonight#literally how is it monday again already im going insane 😵💫#d stuff
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Sapphic YA Book Rec: Good Moon Rising by Nancy Garden
1996 follow-up to Annie on My Mind, this time featuring 2 girls who compete for the lead role in their high school theater department.
Links to download:
Internet Archive (to borrow)
Anna's Archive
LibGen
#book recs#sapphic ya#nancy garden#annie on my mind#good moon rising#*kicks the door down* WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!!! A PDF SCAN IS FINALLY HERE INSTEAD OF THAT CRAPPY TINY EPUB I HAD TO READ FOR 10 YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!#it's very similar to Annie. which isn't a bad thing if you're a fan. hell yes 2 cakes etc. (i definitely won't deny it though)#rivals to lovers version of Annie. what's not to love?!#i've always personally preferred this one for several reasons. larger cast of teen peers. all characters centered around working on#the Big Play makes the whole plot a smidgen more grounded than Annie's courtroom pastiche (not that i don't love it)#plus. well. doing theater and reading The Crucible are exact activities from my own teen years. so it's the same appeal of featuring art#but more personal and relatable lol. and yes i did first read it at the time when i was in school but i sincerely still like it to this day#that *cannot* be said for most other books i read in that era; both older and newer; both YA and not YA!#of course you have to be down with YA which it's fine not to be. but imho there's a layer of intrigue to both books due to their age#that makes it a somewhat different exercise than broader 'trying to read YA as an adult'#there's actually a third one of hers- yes basically another take on the same story again- called Nora and Liz that's for adults#which i would recommend instead if you truly cannot rock with YA. although... stylistically... it's not really that different either. lol#anyway stan PEAK in the IDEAL FORMAT FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#@ the sole Annie stan i saw in the tag: pspspsps#oh wait: like its predecessor the book is largely About homophobia. queen garden never skipped an Issue for each book. so tw for that
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OH??? VIABLE WLW SHIP??? NIGHTFALL X HANDLER?? BI WOMEN REAL????
#aside twilight no one else has ever made nightfall blush like that lol. both the little blush & the big entire face red blush#THE “so adorable” THOUGHT BUBBLE TOO?? HANDLER MA'AM?? BI WOMEN???#nightfall did give handler all that jewelry she & twilight won from the tennis tournament too. I'm now actively routing for them lol#finally someone else for nightfall that isn't someone who genuinely does not notice her feelings & would never reciprocate them anyway#*rooting. bah tumblr let me edit tags gdi#anyway I didn't even finish the chapter yet I was too 👀?! about this scene#spy x family#sxf manga spoilers#sxf nightfall#sxf handler#what would their ship name even be? handfall? nightler? handlerfall? idfk. bi women#nightfall x handler
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me, thinking that i have at least a base level understanding of botw: :)
blue, about to write a 1,000+ word essay that is going to completely revamp my understanding of the game and interpretation of its events: bada bing bada boom
i dont know how you do it. i am incredibly impressed and using all of this for fic inspiration. keep writing
every time someone asks me how i do this shit i have to regrettably inform them that the real genuine answer is that i am fucking insane. my 2 passions in life are writing and video games and the place where the 2 converge fascinates me to no end and i am that special kind of crazy that is capable of latching onto something and not thinking about anything else for 10 years. so. the only thing i have cared about deeply for the last several years of my life has been the way video games are written and constructed. and zelda is one of the most interestingly constructed franchises i have found to date. these games are just like. the absolute perfect story for my brain to work with and i truly do not know who i would be without them. and i am genuinely incredibly grateful that ive been able to build a platform where people like. CARE about what i have to say and take the time to ask me to think about the games because like. i would be doing it ANYWAY but knowing that there are people who actually read my analysis and appreciate the amount of thought i put into this stuff makes me really happy lol
#i sincerely think video games are an art form and that so many stories benefit from being told interactively via video games#and i'm especially fascinated with the way loz chooses to tell its stories because the games are almost always designed so that the player#actively makes every decision in the storyline even though every game only has one preset ending. that's SO COOL.#ive found myself frustrated recently by rpgs that are super cutscene heavy and i was struggling to articulate why until i went back and#looked critically at the way zelda games are designed and i realized that there isn't a single cutscene in loz that openly takes away the#player's autonomy. cutscenes are almost always reserved for dialog or the beginnings of fight scenes but link almost never makes choices#without the player's input and that's a huge part of what keeps the games engaging! YOU are link. he's not a vessel you occasionally#control. he is you. his decisions are always yours.#and that's generally easier to do with a less complex storyline but the way botw kept that autonomy despite its complex story is SO clever#by making the cinematic cutscenes MEMORIES there's never any percieved loss of autonomy because the player understands that this is#something that has already happened so obviously there's no way they can alter link's choices. that's SO SMART#ANYWAY. i didn't mean for this to be a tag essay about video game mechanics sorry but tldr i am so so so passionate about this LOL#if you cant tell. very few people irl will listen to me talk for this long. this is why i love tumblr#asks
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today was SO ASS
#work was exhausting and overwhelming and I FUCKED UP ONE OF MY NAILS. FUCK ME#also i had the awesome idea of lurking twitter and i see a bunch of people hating on joost saying he's a dick and nor a good person like ??#i know it's only a small part of the fandom and its on me too for opening twt but man......#tbf ive never really considered myself part of the fandom bc this is the only place where i actively post about him#and i only have a handful of joost moots but still ive thought about distancing myself from it ngl#cause like. being a joost fan is so exhausting sometimes like theres ALWAYS something going on#and like. idk i love joost and his music a lot and i admire him so much and i really dont wanna let other people ruin that for me#and i know i shouldn't but yeah. its hard ://#the good thing abt joostblr is everyone's just chill here but still in general theres so much negativity and hate#like its hard to not let it ruin the experience of being a fan...and im ngl sometimes i think yk i love joost but maybe im in too deep#bc it messes with my mental and emotional well-being#which is SO FUCKING STUPID I KNOW bc its not that deep like. im just here to enjoy the man and his music but somehow i got too invested lol#anyway im going off on a tangent rn and im probably not even making sense ive just been having a lot of thoughts and i needed to vent#also i edited this post 500 times bc the tags kept getting messed up and theres still a typo but i aint going back to fix that#raquel speaks
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hope u guys don't mind me being a little queer sometimes and talking to myself in the tags, it helps clear my head since people can filter out rant posts easily
#bc i had not used this place in a while until late 2022 ive absolutely forgotten if i used to talk to myself in tags here before or not#i say this bc i now have people who actively see my art here n just throwing random rants here would be very rude so i prefer tags help#feels safer here too LOL#also feels a little scary but im sure that's normal for many that there are ppl who read all tags mein gott#NOT A BAD THING THAT PPL READ TAGS i wouldn't be writing anything if i wanted to kill people for reading tags lol#just stating observations aheem aheem#its like writing on a public bathroom's walls and people passing by to be like “damn bitch ok” /funny#also do not worry at all about how i express myself i do apologize if my words sometimes sound like im on the brink but like#violence is the only way i love to be expressive HELP#watch me be on the government watchlist for the shit ive said gootbyeeeeeeee#but do not feel worried i will be ok eventually every time. sometimes i just gotta explode oh so violently to deflate and feel normal again#WISH I COULD USE EMOJIS ON THIS DAMN PC#anyway the person im trying my damned to avoid is Sure Making It Difficult#at least the people i wanted to know why i was autotune crying baby for a while heard me out n im alive in that regard finally smile emoji#how long can you keep gently hinting you want to distance yourself from somebody until you lose your goddam mind and feel sweet relief when#they actually leave said group themselves after getting my blunt hints help help#oh i sound so fucking rude with just my side but mein gott i don't care bc it was never a serious thing to begin with#just shot my anger thru the roof for good reason and finalliegh im getting mutual distance from that person lol#never get close with ur fave artists worst mistake of my life /hj for real#u start off loving seeing them every time and then boom youre sad how things turned out every time you see them my god#also make sure ur minor friends dont feel like they need to mend things for the adults i feel so fucking sad for someone bc of this rn but#i talked to them n hopefully they understand aouhg.#anyway back to queer posting thats enough soup for today good god#ranting
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u kno i really enjoyed watching hfjone with my friends and they loved it too but part of me is just a little sad they didnt get to watch the early first season with the added context of having grown up on object shows. like. obviously i made them watch bfdi first so they’d understand the point of it being a subversion but, like. having watched so many of these silly little competition shows as a kid it really adds to the Discomfort of those early episodes. like all the pieces of the competitions youve always known are there but it feels Wrong. its just a little sad they didnt get to experience that part like i did lol
#im sure someone more articulated could word this thought better than me but eh im just thinking out loud#the osc in terms of creatives is certainly very different now than when i was a kid#i used to go out of my way to seek out new shows constantly and i dont think i Ever encountered a non-competition show#im sure they were out there! but they were not talked about#honestly i almost never heard about shows other than bfdi and ii. and that was back when i was like actually active in the community#its really cool to see so many shows getting their fair share of love now#and its also cool to see more shows branch out in terms of genre. like hfjone!#love of the s*n is really catching my attention im really looking forward to seeing more of that one#and although happy star's saga was cut short for obviously understandable reasons#i think the HSGtOS shorts themselves are still really good and hold up on their own#does help hotline count? it counts if you look at pence. um. i also really like help hotline#anyway im kinda just rambling about a completely different point in the tags dont mind me#just thinkiing thinky thoughts#anyway im picky and burner is probably the only new-age competition show im really interested in#but my point still stands is cool to see the community as a whole branch out more even if im not really involved in it lol#bri talks#bestietag
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one in a million when i watch smthing in the horror genre and don't end up disappointed to/and/or pissed off about it so like "also yeah i liked it. ooo" is like relative to that an off the charts rave review of media of the millennium. also i did think about mh a lot along the way so would recommend its affect/effect if you like mh's horror too
#i didn't realize at first that's the director/creator tim's qrting. thought a rando went ''i love mh'' & he went ''& i love smthing else''#saw this a few weeks ago while also like writing or drawing or smthing like oh good plot's beside the point? b/c i'm splitting this focus#even checking in w/recaps was both like oh ok i missed that / didn't realize xyz could be a Thread or something but each of the like three#or four recaps i went over Also saw points differently in terms of even like; who was there or said what lmfao. or noting sm detail at all.#i went ''oh worm?'' at some early shot that may or may not have even gone mentioned by any of them. depending lol. doesn't matter#anyways we don't have time for tags media analysis except that i'll count this as: once again horror for children wins. even tho it's...#not rated? well anyways you know. probably generally not advisable for children as a direct audience lmao. however#like yes as per the premise as a child we've all experienced this [the media] anyways. perturbing summons dreams we've all had em#anyhow fr i'd even struggle to think of horror movies i'd say i mostly liked / would or did rewatch but still wasn't like. i disliked major#elements / choices to the point of being pissed off abt it. so many movies i can't be bothered to watch b/c i already know specifics like#i don't like or respect any of you people. or choices or elements or premises or executions or effects. not even interested fr like lord...#but often what has better odds are mediums that Aren't straightforwardly tv / film. like i'd compare mh to a series of several movies and#that's also imo largely a more apt categorization than saying it's an ARG or smthing but anyways like i'd recommend it to someone sure....#rare to be like yeah a movie was enjoyable. & if you already liked mh then that's a useful reference point here#which like usually i'd use mh as a categorical tag but idk i guess actually it's actively popular nowadays lmfao i really don't know#posting is already exhausting like whew but this one's for whosoever happens to follow me i guess#which is possible? nonzero ppl arrived for mh but unlikely lmfao. but also ppl see it on their own anyways coincidentally.#and you never know who observes the posts like hell yeah for an anon enjoying niche akd theatreposting who is to me ambiently out there#really odd the other day seeing an mh reblog like ''??? huh. i made that eons ago; then'' & people in the tags talking abt some repost like#on the one hand that Original Source post is two layers of deactivated blogs so a repost could be archival. but if they don't say as much#i.e. that it's even from a different source then that's not exactly it then is it. but also that even finding an original document For OP#is like. oh yeah that's me actually. but then knowing & technically saying as much doesn't / didn't actually affect me as that op lol#just kind of archival on both ends then. vs someone else in the tags saying they saw it on fb 9 yrs ago? definitely didn't post it there#my true op experience: keeping it nicheposting & just kind of saying sm shit & maybe some people are out there nodding thoughtfully#oh also in case fyi. that's tim as in actor playing [also tim] in mh. & did some writing for mh & other such behind the scenes efforts also#every time i look at the text in this post i notice a new typo of mine. get it tgoether (organic typo there. so; lol)
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ITNL chapter 5
moving things along!
#speculation nation#itnl shit#starting to get some actual fic length now. this chapter was 4.1k words & brings the total up to 17.5k words#with the next chapter I'll overcome the word count for Sentido#honestly it's kinda wild to me how after 17.5k words this fic is still in its infancy#and will remain so . basically until we meet wolfwood again lol#that's where the vashwood begins. and the Relationship Development...#i. have never had a fic take this long to get to the actual romance stuff.#it's just thousands and thousands of words of vash grieving and doing shit.#it's building up to stuff tho. i just hope it's entertaining to read even w/o wolfwood actively there.#lol @ wolfwood and knives being in the major character tags but neither showing up for real for chapters and chapters and chapters#we get knives in chapter 1 and (baby) wolfwood in chapter 2. and as for when they show up again? It'll be a bit.#keeping them in the tags just bc in my plans they have a big role. it'll just take some time.#anyways i need to shower already. and then go to bed lol. man it has gotten late huh. man.
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