#and sure i didnt have all the terms and knowledge i do now

[aj-living-life]

Remembering how the first time I saw a body swap in a show I went right then and there "this would be great for those transgender people" and thinking my momma raised me right.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Ej, Lj, Masky, Hoodie, Masky, Ticci Toby and Bloody Painter x reader who draws them

Prize 5/5 for @reivelmin !! I hope you've enjoyed all of your prizes WOOHOO!! I had a blast writing them, hardly ever get the excuse to write for some of these characters EHEHEHEHE

EYELESS JACK

I've always headcanoned that Jack was always a bit of an artist himself, although the most he does it sketch every now and then to keep his kind busy. He points out some techniques he recognizes and asks you about it. It.. actually takes him a moment to realize that all of the drawings are him. You can practically hear the gears turning in his head before he tries to move on. This opens the window for the two of you to draw together every now and then.. though jack is always a little embarrassed.. flustered.. with the knowledge that you have so much of him in your book

LAUGHING JACK

Very loud when saying he loves it. Hes flipping through the pages before pausing, looking you dead in the eye. He makes a comment about how you must be soooooo obsessed with him. Hes teasing you, of course! He offers to draw you in return.. though dont expect anything crazy, Jack's not.. the best artist- and hes okay with that! Loves looking through your art whenever you offer it. Would kick his feet in the air while looking through the pages. Sometimes you give him sketches to color, to keep him busy while you have to go do something

MASKY

He already knew what you were drawing him before you ever have the chance to show him. The man is silent and is constantly keeping an eye on you.. he does NOT know how to be a normal roommate!! You probably dont get the chance to show him yourself, because he points at a stray pencil marking that you forgot to erase. Worst jumpscare of your life, if you werent already aware of his presence in the room... he.. actually gives a thumbs up. Which doesnt seem like much but considering that he doesnt really emote, that's a huge thing... now does he think it's a little odd that you have a bunch of sketches where hes the reference? A little, but he does offer some good poses and lighting due to him tending to lurk in the shadows

HOODIE

Very similar to Masky but at least he pretends to not know. You walk up to him with your sketchbook and hes so obviously playing dumb but its.. sweet that hes pretending. He takes his time looking through all of the art, where some of the others get too excited and flip through it all. He doesnt talk, but he does communicate that he thinks it all looks great via sign.. oh he would definitely start leaving sticky notes with doodles around for you to find

TICCI TOBY

I think Toby would be a little overwhelmed, he didnt think anyone would be interested in him enough to want to fill an entire sketchbook with him. He tries to cover up his shock by lightly making fun of the situation. Though every tease he tries to draw out falls flat, as everytime he goes to poke fun of something about the art he trails off. Besides, he couldn't bring himself to actually make fun of the stuff you make.. if it's a gift, you offer to take it back but he quickly shuts that down. Its like the Bob's burger friendship bracelet audio, "no fuck off its mine"

BLOODY PAINTER

As an artist himself, he asks you about what materials you used as well as the techniques you used! Unlike EJ, Helen is more thorough in his questioning and knows a lot more fancy terms.. he points out the good parts of your pieces, and catches himself before giving his criticisms.. he at least makes sure that the criticism is wanted before just unloading (and even then hes constructive! Hes well aware that just dunking on someone does nothing to help them grow). It actually strikes his ego a lot that you would dedicate so much time and material to just him, and it inspires him to make something for you in return. If he didnt know you were an artist prior to this, he offers to paint with you.. whether as a collab or just simply working parallel to one another! Just please pay no mind to him staring at you more intently while hes at his canvas...!

[gammija]

PLEASE tell us more about your vampwolf au

i WILL!

First of all, the main purpose of this au is to have fun imagining vampire!martin and werewolf!jon and secrets/newly discovered abilities. so the details are very vague unless i could come up with something i found interesting

Elias is a centuries-old vampire who runs the Institute partly because he wants to gather and keep knowledge on the supernatural, partly as his personal bloodbank (shamelessly stole this idea from this fic). The supernatural is, just like in tma, not believed in outside of specific circles. Vampires are more or less typical; need to drink human blood every so often, can't go in sunlight, can turn into bats, can make thralls. New vampires are supernaturally bound to the one who made them.

Somewhere in the latter half of the 1900s, Elias turns Martin. Martin half-knew what he was getting into, but he did it to help his mom and he was lonely enough that he didnt particularly care about the consequences. Idk what Elias specifically hoped to get out of it - perhaps his previous lackey died and he just neede someone new to do his dirty work.

After Martin becomes a vampire, it becomes clear that he's quite talented at doing subtle short-term thralls on humans. A useful skill, Elias decides to keep him around for that as well, and sticks him in the basement as the archivist, which isn't a specific role in this au - just an excuse so that Martin doesn't see the sunlight. He's not allowed to snack from the Institute's employees, he's got to source his own blood. Basically Martin's life sucks and the only fun he gets is messing up the organization of the old files that get sent down.

This next part is a lot vaguer but maybe Elias wants to experiment with different combinations of supernatural creatures - there's quite a few that are born out of humans, and what if you could stack the effects somehow! and what if he could control whatever monster results from it by making them his vampire! but the problem is, as soon as someone becomes a vampire, their body stops changing, so no new supernatural abilities can stack. So he needs to keep his experiment bound to him with more normal, capitalist means until they're done cooking. or maybe he has a cursed contract for employees, idk

IN ANY CASE researcher Jon is investigating some odd deaths around the Lukas' estate. Other employees tell him to stay away from that place, it's not worth it, and Elias is like "oh nooo Jon definitely don't do a stake-out at their mansion during the full moon ;)"

Obviously the Lukasses are werewolves (they're lone wolves lol) and when Peter spots one of Elias' guys around his home, he decides to make an example of him. He attacks Jon in his car, drags him out, nearly chomps his leg off, leaves him for dead on the grounds.

Martin is sent by Elias to go and save Jon, and he can't really refuse, so off he goes. He drives a half-conscious Jon back to London and drops him off at the hospital, making sure to mind-control the people he meets into believing that Jon had come there alone. As soon as it seems like Jon won't die, he leaves.

Jon recovers in the hospital, needing to walk with crutches for a while after, but he goes back to work. because now he has a new mystery to chase: who saved him? He had lost a lot of blood by that point and he's not great with faces so he doesn't recognize Martin, but he knows there was someone there, he couldn't have driven himself back, especially with his leg. Despite this obvious truth, somehow all the nurses are convinced he came there by himself? he needs to figure this out. Also, for some reason he keeps having to shave a lot more often and craving rare steaks for dinner, but surely that's nothing.

Meanwhile Elias is happy that he's now got a werewolf who's already tied to the institute, and sticks Jon together with Martin in the basement so his vampire can keep an eye on his wolfy, make sure that Jon doesn't die while he goes poking around at other supernatural creatures as he tries to find out what happened that night, or that he doesn't kill someone and get sent to jail come next full moon. Set-up, done.

After that, I don't have a very strict idea. I think it'd be fun if Leitner (or someone like him) does his thing where he nearly threatens to tell Jon about Elias' plans for him, and Eliase has to kill him - except he lets Martin do it in the classic vampire style, so Jon can walk in on him as he sucks the lifeforce out of Leitner. Extra fun if Jon hadn't put together that Martin is a vampire yet.

Jon flees and goes to Georgie who's like 'oh yeah werewolves are real nbd'. Then, the most tragic part of this au kicks in....

as a werewolf, the Admiral is instinctively scared of Jon 😔

[anonymouscheeses]

The Morningstar family :)

First off, king of hell himself, Lucifer! I incorporated all of the animals he transformed into in the battle with Adam scene(goat, horse, snake, and duck but i wont include duck since hes obsessed already) Because I kept looking up what animals lucifer has been depicted as and was like, yeah nvm let's jst use this one scene and call it a day. His wings are black instead of white with black tips to further imply lil bro is a fallen angel. Made him doll-like to be similar to his daughter a bit but also they aren't freaking carbon copies of eachother, she is unique I swear guys. He's also not an all powerful being, he has limits, he gets tired quickly and his physical strength is LOW ASF he cannot throw a punch for the life of him. Personality wise, he is judgemental, prideful, and neglectful. But it's okay cuz he's silly 😐 /j he is super different, and it takes years for Charlie and him to be on speaking terms. He's trying, but is that enough?

Lillith!!! The first succubi, from what I know. I didnt include succubi features because I'm an idiot and forgot that was a concept. Sure it may not be canon anymore, or at all maybe, but I would've liked to make it true ☹️ there's not alot known about her in the show and we don't know why she is in heaven (if that's even her tbh). So once we know I'll either rewrite that or keep it as it is, not sure. But this Lillith does own Alastor's soul, she knows that he is one of the most unusual and powerful sinner in hell, so once she flees to heaven she gains his soul to keep an eye on Charlie, in return she gives him influence over hell(being that she influences hell with her voice) The radio station and all, since that's pretty much all he wants. He gives her info on the hotel's progress and how Charlie is doing, she just wants to be there. Personality is uh, calm, ambitious, and generous, yet negatively she is strict and wants things her way. She is the one closest to Charlie and very dear to her, which is why Charlie always tries to call her instead of Eve or Lucifer. Even though Charlie knows now she won't pick up the phone anymore, maybe ever again. It still comforts her to call anyways.

Lastllyy, Eveeee!! She's a pretty silly lil gal. She ate the apple of knowledge, so she was cursed to forever be reminded of it when she sees her tail. Oh yeah, they are also all married! Lillith's ring is under her glove. Anyway, she is pretty powerful despite her having no demon form. She already looks demon enough to fit in. So she does, she goes into pentagram city often and creates bonds with the people. Some know she is Eve and some just see her as a friendly yet powerful individual. Her magic is similar to Charlie's, she got the fireworks coming out of her finger from Eve, and they both can heal their body parts. Charlie doesn't know it because she hasn't needed to yet. Eve uses her charm to be friends with the people of hell, Lillith uses it to gain an army for the fight against heaven, Lucifer couldn't care less and coops himself up in his castle. Personality wise, she is very golden retriever, peaceful, and honest, yet also neglectful being that she spends time with demons rather than her own daughter. (She's barely there with Charlie even before she disappeared along with Lillith. But when they moved to the hotel she tried to make up for it.)

She regretted the marriage. For years.

The potential of Lillith angst is immeasurable, it's painful. Imagine being the first woman, forced into a marriage with a controlling man, falling in love with an angel, the other angels forbidding that, you both try to get Eve to join your relationship, she takes the apple but evil and such take over the world, and then because of your lover's dreams you are all sent to hell. Freaking horrible.

Demon forms!! Charlie gained Lillith's demon form, but I may give her dragon wings to make up for it. Messy doodle I knowww *sob*. Eve doesn't have one because the elder angels stripped that away form her because they were terrified of all of them having stronger forms. They are also ALL cursed with different features. Soo uh, Lucifer has one red eye to remind him of his evil side, he also has all sort of animal details and doll features because he's a mess and a control freak! :3 Lillith has horns, hooves, and a tail because she joined the devil. Eve is blind, the angels ripped her eyes out because she dares to willingly see the devil and his bride, she has wings on each side of her head because she was also a fallen angel(it was hell, because she was unhappy in being Adam's wife, it was temporary as she made herself go to hell instead of being kicked out.) She has a snout and ears too, cuz goat, and a tail with a shape of an apple at the end. Eve was done the worse oh lawwdd 😭😭

BABY CHARLIE!! She at one point HAD to have worn overalls. Right? PLEASE?? I don't know how to draw toddlers bear with me here.

Emo Charlie! Yayy.... she got her period so now she's an adult. 💀 little does she know it's actually a trauma response to being neglected so she tries to get attention by being weird!! 😃👍 (I ruined emo Charlie now)

(I have no idea how to do aesthetics... I'm in pain.)

When I said Lucifer is judgemental, prideful, and neglectful, I meant it. He's a horrible person. But he's trying to be better. That doesn't make him good nor excuse his behavior, he deserves the consequences. Which is why I don't like Lucifer in the show. He is NOT a good person but in one episode he is deprived from the karma of YEARS of neglect and shame. He just says "oh ill support you now" despite two episodes later the message is that actions speak louder than words which only applies to Vaggie for some reason. Why is Lucifer all of a sudden the exception? Oh right cuz he's a silly dad with depression so it's fine(Sorry but this genuinely pisses me off). And people in the fandom have demonized Charlie for being "mean" to him, when she is honestly so valid for reacting like that. The thing is, I don't hate Lucifer. Which is why I hate him if that makes sense. I hate that I like a character that shouldn't be liked yet. This should have been an arc for season 2. This scene should have been the start of the journey. The scene I drew out above is in ep 5 and it's the only interaction they get (it replaces the more than anything scene)

Charlie has no idea how humans/sinners work. She likes to observe them but never quite gets the purpose of their actions. She's emotionally unintelligent like in the show. Which lemme just say, is a FLAW. Characters have FLAWS PEOPLE. If I see another person shaming her for indirectly hurting Angel in episode 4 I'm going to lose it 🥰 she doesn't get emotions, she doesn't understand how people work, because she's been in isolation her entire 200+ years of living maybe less. But still this is all new to her and she is not at fault at all for that (im projecting probably) 🙄 (this is before Vaggie is revealed to be a fallen angel ofc). She's so in awe at her people, it's like a new world and she just wants to understand. It's kinda creepy but y'know it's a Charlie thing. Vaggie also is emotionally unintelligent but that's because she never used to focus on relationships or bonding. Which causes bad communication and problems between the two, YAY DEVELOPMENT!!

Idk bro I just wanted to draw her full demon form again. Uhh from the last time I drew I gave her... a new outfit, darker fur to match her skin, uhh, and dragon wings. Ya thas all but I like this one so much more already lmao. I got the fire hair idea because when she gets angry in the show(+pilot) her hair would defy gravity and it would remind me of yknow.. fire.

They're first meeting went swell! Unlike Lucifer and Vaggie's... but that's for later. Emily grew up afraid of hell but especially Lucifef and turning out the way he did. She still is but she's getting used to having the monster of her bed time stories be a short gummy bear. (Takes place when Charlie and Lucifer are in... better terms I guess) Also, Vaggie and Lucifer's first meet? Not great. Let's just say... Vaggie replaced Alastor and it become "Hell's Greatest Pal" or somthn like that. But yeah, Lucifer didn't really like Vaggie, not because she's a woman n homophobia hellll no his wives are wives, but because he didn't think she was good enough for her. Being a sinner n all. He's a hypocrite like that 😭 plus, he knew Vaggie was a fallen angel but he's not a monster so he didn't say anything. Just passively jabbing at the fact she is in the song to make her scared.

And one last doodle before I sign off!

These six bro... my absolute favorites <3 if you want please send in a request of them and their relationships I'm so desperate I love them sm (especially chaggily butttt lucifers stolen wives(that's the ship name I made 😭) too)

I hope you liked my rambel... my rewrite.... my redesigns.... and my stupidness... have a great day lmao

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

was talking to a friend today about college and how i felt a little self-conscious about my job. me not doing secondary education because i chose not to.

i had said that i just didnt know what i wanted to do with my life. in terms to a career. i didn't know what direction or what i even wanted to do. so i decided after hs to start working because well- a.) i needed to gtfo of my parent's houses because our relationships were on threads and b.) i just didnt know what i wanted to do. so i started working because- well- if i was to do anything ill just grind shit out until i figure it out.

and like- i felt a little self-conscious about it because its... physical labor and i work for a scummy company. so i felt weird about it. not shame! but like- i was of a lower standard than that or not as "cool"

i just dont know what i want to do with my life or what i would find passion on making a career out of. i see some of my friends going to college and like so deadset on a degree and a career that im almost embarrassed to say i dont know what i want to do. i know its not THIS job and people have already told me im insane for saving for retirement at this age but i want to live my life.

so its like- i dont know. i have noooo idea what i want to do. i love writing but im sure writing wouldnt pay the bills like that. and i dont think i have a passion quite like some authors.

i dont know!!! i guess i just felt a little stunned and lost?? i mean ik im young and only 21 but holy fuck i have no idea what i want to do with my life yet and it almost makes me envious of those who have their strong knowledge on what their heart tells them.

she told me- my friend. that she had no idea either. shes in college ofc but its like- she knows she wants to help people and something else i forget now but i think that really helped me make sense of this weird embarrassment i have for this job. its just not all that cool, man. i just dont have my direction yet. still figuring shit out. ik ive done so much already for my age and thats not to be discouraged or discounted but holy fuck the fact that some people KNOW who they want to be? and theyre younger than me??? it just makes me anxious to rush into something like college because of the financial stuff. but people have their hearts set on something and i think thats wonderful but how can you at that age know? and will i ever have that feeling too.

maybe im destined to not know and for this to BE what i do because it works. the warehouse job is safe and pays the bills, but like what if im missing something.

i feel like im too young to know but also too old to NOT know.

[lexa-griffins]

What if alien Clarke has x-ray vision so she can see herself fucking Lexa and how tight she fits around her?

😳😳😳

Okay but Lexa and Clarke both being part of this human/alien breeding program that pretty much guarantees humans with a baby because the aliens can /see/ if the breeding is successful.

Lexa wants a baby, they match her with an alien she has a good match with and who also wants a baby. Its a fairly easy process.

Lexa was expecting the whole process to be rather medical really. A quick shoot and go that she barely has to participate in. Thats the point of the program really, create a alien/human baby that her and whoever this Clarke lady is can co-parent. Easy. They have the same ideals and parental ideas so they really are the perfect match.

She just didnt expect... /her/. Clearly alien. The slight blue tint of her skin, the cute tiny horns on her head, the marks on her skin that remind Lexa of little constellations.

The sky people are a very pretty species, Lexa cant deny that.

They are naked from the moment they enter the small padded room provided for them. While Clarke seems very comfortable with all she has, and it is a /lot/, Lexa finds herself slightly covering her chest and her center. The alien seems to notice this.

"Hey you dont need to hide. I find humans so beautiful, you might actually be the most gorgeous one I've ever meet actually."

Now, Lexa didnt come here expecting them to really connect in a way that isnt medical but hm, she cant deny the way Clarke's blue eyes nearly shine and the way she smiles at her don't make her heart skip a damn beat.

Clarke gestures for Lexa to lay down so they can get started and Lexa does, with slight reluctance. She doesnt really know why she's nervous but she is. Maybe is the whole finally having a baby thing. Maybe is because she never been with an alien (how many people have really. There's a reason breeding programs like this exist).

.... maybe is the fact that when Clarke very politely gets on top of her, her dick is very clearlgonna be a /tight/ fit.

"Just... relax alright? It's always a bit of an adjustment for humans but you can take it."

Oh that should not have made Lexa as wet as it did, "Okay. Okay."

Lexa takes a deep breath and she feels the tip go in. It /is/ big. And thicker than anything Lexa ever out inside of her pussy. /Fuck./

"Fuck." Lexa breaths out as Clarke to enter her

"I know. Its a tight fit but you can take it, I know you can."

Right. They can /see/ it happening.

"Can you really... see yourself inside of me?"

Clarke chuckles. Lexa cant help but smile. She likes the sound.

"I can. That's how I know you can take it, but you need you relax baby." The term of endearment doesnt go unnoticed but Lexa ignores it in favor of trying to calm down her manic heart.

"Thats it." Clarke coos at her, slowly but sure going deeper.

Just the knowledge that Clarke can see herself inside Lexa both relaxes and turns her on because holy /fuck/.

Clarke is not yet fully inside when she stops moving completely. Lexa dnaos her head up, offended she dared stopping, "what?"

"You cant fit any more."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... you cant fit my dick fully. I didnt think you could, humans arent really built for it. Its fine, but if i go any deeper is gonna hurt."

How... sweet of her. "Oh." Lexa states, finally being hit with the feeling of fulness. They stay there for a few minutes, as Clarke waits for Lexa to give her the go ahead, "you can move now" it comes out more like a plea than anything else but Clarke immediately gets herself positions to thrust inside of Lexa.

"Ready?"

"Lets make a baby." Lexa says, awkwardly she admits. She hoping Clarke ignores it, but to her surprise, she leans in, kissing the corner of Lexa's lip. When Lexa looks st her in the eye, she looks so giddy.

"Baby making time." Its such a sweet statement that Lexa didnt particularly expect it to be followed by the filthiest sex she's ever had.

She's heard talks about humans becoming obsessed with having sex with sky people and she thought it was all talk. But the way Clarke manages to thrust inside of her at exactly the right angle everytime and how she seems to know when to quicken a brutal pace or slow down is as close to an addiction as she has ever come.

Clarke's soft lips approach her ear, her heavy breathing loudly tickling Lexa's hair, "Im gonna cum"

"Do it. Please, Clarke. Do it."

She can see it, Lexa realizes once more. The way she looks between Lexa's hips and her face as she cums. She can see herself fill Lexa up.

Jesus fuck she can see it. She touches Lexa's clit and Lexa comes undone with her.

Clarke falls on top of her, her body somehow still cool against Lexa's hot skin. The constellations on her skin seem to shine with the sweat that cover her it.

"You are very pretty too." Lexa manages to say, somewhere between awakened and asleep, "I hope our baby is just as pretty."

Before she closes her eyes, she feels Clarke's lips on her forehead, "with you as a mom, there's no way they wint be gorgeous"

[bastardrobocop]

not being funny, not being melodramatic i hope, but i feel like the last year has broken me in a lot of ways. 2023 i mean. i watched a long term relationship disintegrate in my hands until the ultimate betrayal of my trust and safety. i was so stressed and so fucked up all the time.

and now like, i can feel im withdrawing from my friends, im engaging in unhealthy behaviors i will not specify here, despite it all im more lonely than ive ever been, my hobbies are starting to feel like dust in my mouth, and while i'm not actively suicidal, the thought isnt far from my mind in that nasty intrusive thought sort of way.

there are nice things. i have the place to myself. the bed to myself. its quiet. but i feel like ive exhausted the amount of patience people have with me talking about what ive gone through. and as is the nature of things i dont feel as though ive built character or come through hardened. i feel mad. hurt. i want to hurt xer back somehow. take something back because something was taken from me. i feel like i have no recourse. god knows if xe'll hurt someone like xe hurt me again. but thats not even my primary motivation. i just hate feeling like theres nothing. no justice. no satisfaction. nothing that makes being raped a more tolerable experience, which is a silly thing to say. but you understand, right? like, sure i could post somewhere highly visible "In December of 2023 well known SCP Wiki author UraniumEmpire sexually assaulted me" but like what would that accomplish? it sure would put me under a microscope. its a surreal sentence too. hard to explain why. maybe its ultraminor celebrity combined with knowledge that inevitably it can just be denied and nobody will listen.

you know before now i never really noticed how much people fetishize sexual assault? "CNC" and the like. i dont care for it. i dont think they know. its frustrating as an adult online trying to navigate adult spaces. i know its an odd topic, but im fully stream of consciousness right now. i'll see something and it hits me in the gut and so i block the user or close the thing or leave the discord call. yet another addition to the list of things that make my tastes so exacting.

i feel like i should come to some overall point but the only thing coming to mind right now is just 'i hate this'. and i do. i hate this so much. i'm crying a lot more. at stupid things. weird things. memories. dreams. this post. the funny thing is that despite it all, despite the content, despite everything, i hope people read it. i like feeling like i exist. i like feeling real to other people. reminding folks that im not just a joke machine. i have an internal world. i have had a life that's lead me here and despite advantages it has not been good.

did i ever talk about how my high school graduation went? odd digression, bear with me. i feel like its emblematic of how things typically go for me. it's the day i graduate high school. i come downstairs to find my mother on skype with my kansas family. my grandfather is dying. they put him on skype. i watch him die over skype. after sitting alone for some time, i tell my parents i do not want to go through with high school graduation. i am forced to regardless. it is the most miserable day of my life. nobody listens to what i need in the moment. i go through with it, and then we are all shepherded to some kind of entertainment center. for reasons i cannot fathom, we are not allowed to leave for a couple hours. enforced fun time. they bring a stage hypnotist. i sit in silence and watch his antics. i get up and ask one of the people supervising us if i can leave now. they finally say yes. my mother takes me home. she asks if i have a nice time. i say of course i didnt. we drive home in silence.

i have have very rarely felt understood. very rarely felt like i was built to exist in the world. i feel as though i have an expiration date beyond the obvious one. i have grown older and watched people i know operate normally in the world and wondered how they do it. it never clicked for me. autism, transness, otherings. experts looked at me, told me i needed accommodations. never really got them, or they didnt help.

this is getting too long. i asked myself partway through if this was a suicide note but concluded that it wasn't. this is primarily because im scared if i die, they'll separate my cats. adopt them to different homes. they're best friends, they should not be kept apart. i love my cats, even when they're breaking shit and tearing open trash bags.

final paragraph. this whole post thing is probably going to sound embarrassing to me when i have hindsight on it. oh well. i am going to hit the post button now.

[themostsanebug]

uhhhh...... so basket got a redesign already.......

basket the <3 anyways!!!! info/lore below cut for those that wanna know more about this goof!!!!!

basic info stuff:

- pronouns; none! basket just goes by basket and nongendered terms ON OCCASION!

- gender/sexuality; basket is agender, aromantic and pansexual! basket finds all kinds of people sexually/aesthetically attractive but very rarely feels romantic attraction! when basket does, however, basket cant really pin point the feeling.

- lore/backstory stuff; basket has REALLY high empathy, allowing basket to empathize with basically everyone which...... includes the cogs much to baskets inner turmoil over it. in short, when basket went to go fight chip and heard the guy ask for help from TOONS...... lets just say basket went against what the end cutscene to that fight shows. basket did baskets best to pressure chip into telling basket what the hell caused him to fight like that and what exactly was making him ask for help which resulted in basket triggering the override again. basket (somehow) managed to get a grip on the remaining bulb on chip's hat to break it off too but not before basket got scratched up. basket walked away from that encounter with a jagged cut on baskets snout that scarred over, leaving basket with something to remember chip by i suppose. after all that went down; basket went back over and over, trying baskets best to get chip to just tell basket anything he knew about what happened during their first fight. basket continued to trigger the override, but basket had grown smarter, leaving before it escalated. the more basket visited, the less chip seemed to care, viewing basket as just an obstacle in his day now until even that changed. chip found himself actually having conversations with basket as basket told him about how basket had recently been looking into how cog business worked, chip instinctively butting in to correct the mistakes he found in baskets knowledge. baskets visits soon became something chip looked forward to, someone he could peacefully share his business talk with without triggering the override. he even came up with the idea for basket to try working for the company which basket was..... confused on how that would work but apparently chip put a good word in for basket. during baskets next visit, basket was surprised by a meeting with the higher-ups. they had come up with a simple contract for basket to sign before basket was accepted into the company; all basket had to do was agree to be installed with some cog parts, a reassurance measure to make sure basket didnt plan on attacking anyone. basket agreed with a bit of hesitation and soon enough, basket was set up with a low level position with freshly installed cog parts! the parts, however, just..... changed basket more than appearance wise. basket now had two very conflicting urges trapped in the same body, the toonish one and the more business or logical one. basket was also in a constant state of achy pain, barely being able to walk the days after the parts were installed.

(thats all ive got so far....... is it decent :3c)

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

i had sex for the first time and it was kind of a horrible experience. i was checking out a bdsm club for the first time and a man in his 50s invited me to check out a different (sex) club the next day and bc i genuinely, idiotically thought he just wanted to introduce me to the scene and show me around i went. at the club he bought me a couple drinks, we talked and then he took me to a private room and went down on me. i didnt say no bc i was drunk and curious, and im bad at saying no to people in general. i thought maybe it would be fun. i wasnt into it at all but felt too bad to let him know. i faked an orgasm and left after a while. as we parted he kissed my cheek and said he hopes we can be friends. drunk me told him of course we could. the next morning i was hit with the worst wave of self loathing ive ever felt in my life, as well as just general disgust and regret. i cannot believe my first time was with an old man i feel zero attraction to. i already knew im probably a lesbian, but still i keep trying to be with men and i dont know why. i guess my question is do you have advice on how to get over a sexual experience you regret? how do i come to terms with the fact that my first time was with someone i feel grossed out just thinking about? and was i taken advantage of? im in my early 20s, he didnt know i was a virgin (i active implied that im not), and i know if i had said no he wouldve stopped. i wasnt falling down drunk or anything. he didnt really do anything wrong. i feel so stupid and ashamed of myself. i just wish my first time had been with a woman. i wish i hadnt been so naive and stupid and i wish i hadnt gotten drunk. i know its not true but i feel like no woman will ever want me now. i cant even masturbate bc the idea of doing something sexual, even just alone, reminds me of him and what i let him do to me. how do i move on from this?

hi anon,

I'm deeply sorry that this happened to you.

in this case, I would say the way to make peace with a sexual experience you regret is to understand that you aren't responsible for what was done to you.

to answer your question - yes, you were absolutely taken advantage of, and this person very much did do something wrong! quite a lot of somethings! he made the choice to lure someone younger and less knowledgeable to a secondary location you weren't familiar with, get you drunk, isolate you, and pressure you into sex that you didn't give enthusiastic consent to. all of that is CLASSIC predatory, manipulative behavior and reflects on him - not you.

you mentioned that you feel stupid; PLEASE don't. people are pressured into unpleasant sex all the time, very often in the exact same way you were: being entrapped in a situation where going along with it was easier than saying no. it's vile! and none of those people are at fault!

listen: you need to be on your side about this. would you tell anyone else who experienced this that they're stupid and naive? I hope not. I really hope you can find the compassion you'd extend to any other friend in this situation to yourself, because you're going to be the #1 person getting yourself through this.

feeling bad and gross about what happened is fine; what happened was bad and gross. please let those feelings happen and care for yourself while they do, because those feelings need to be felt! just be conscientious about which feelings you're indulging. it's fine to feel betrayed, violated, regretful, angry, sad, even to mourn for a better first sexual experience you could have had! just make sure to gently nudge yourself back if those feelings start veering into the realm of feeling guilty or responsible for the situation. not only is it unhelpful, it's not even true!

it's very sad that your first sexual experience was with someone you didn't want who treated you the way he did. in the future, when you're ready, I hope you'll be able to pursue healthier, mutually pleasurable experiences on your own terms. don't rush yourself to get back to any kind of sexuality, masturbation included - a good long break while you sort through your feelings may be very needed. there's no timeline you need to be on to recover from this; please don't get down on yourself for taking the time and space you need. if you don't have anyone in person you feel able to talk with, looking up online support and resources for people who have experienced sexual assault may be beneficial.

also, hey, please don't play the game of trying to say you don't belong in survivor spaces or how this wasn't an assault because your belief that he would have stopped if you'd told him to (a very generous assumption!) or because you led him to believe you had more sexual experience or it could have been worse or whatever. the feelings you're experience in the aftermath are textbook of assault survivors; that means the resources are for you!

also hey. listen to me. look at me. if any woman tries to tell you that you are less worthy of lesbian love and companionship because you have had sex with a man. ESPECIALLY a man who was taking advantage of you. you are going to send me their address and I will personally attack them with a baseball bat.

[grantmentis]

hey, i really really appreciate this blog, it's been super helpful for getting newbies like me into the pwhl/woho.

you seem to know a lot about woho, so i wanted to ask: is there any "problematic" (for a lack of a better term) pwhl players we should avoid? i just want to make sure i don't become a fan of a player whose opinions are Not Great lol

tysm 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

As a disclaimer I'm not the best at like instagram/twitter so if someone i didnt mention posted something wild and i missed it my bad. Admittedly, im also american and know more about the american players than canadian.

in general id say a lot of women's hockey falls into like center-liberal white liberal politics, so you some tone deaf statements and on a whole a lot of players are less likely to be outspoken politically compared to their counterparts in women's soccer or basketball, but I don't recall anyone who's currently rostered in the PWHL posting anything wild or pulling tony deangelo esque shenanigans. luckily a lot of the openly bigoted players from the last few seasons have retired or do not play in this league right now. This is not to say it is all sushine and rainbows, there's been players like both Lamoureux twins who've campaigned for transphobic legislation and no players have spoken out against them despite many working with them in the past, Kelli Stack who's been repeatedly racist but a lot of the team usa girls from 2014-2018 hang with her, or players like Rebecca Russo and Kelly Babstock who engaged in anti-black racism back in 2021 and had a lot of teammates at the time stand with them or not call them out.

In short, there's a lot of people who have failed to speak out when the moment has called for it, and a larger cultural problem in women's hockey with enabling especially when it comes to racism ad transphobia, but no one currently who has said anything explicitly horrible to my knowledge

That said, we'll probably see britta curl next year who is a top college player/wisconsin captain and she has shared a lot of vilely racist and transphobic stuff. On that note, the PWHL also doesn't have a gender inclusion policy, which should be concerning.

[windblume]

nothing has ever want to make me read a manga more than your posts abt inochi

looks at your posts with interest and curiosity

GRIPS YOUR SHOULDERS. I WILL TELL YOU SO MUCH ABOUT INOCHI. I AM MAKING A LIST OF GENERAL FACTS UNDER THE READ MORE.

- inochi is not his real name! his name is Tobi Otogiri, which means flying plant. i call him inochi because before he officially got a name, the community called him inochi-kun!!

- hes 17 years old

- his older brother, Seki Otogiri, disappeared in the past. unknown if he is dead or alive, but hes probably dead.

- his main goal is to find Hitotsume, for reasons unknown

- he attended middle school in the past. hes not implied to have gone to high school, as far as i know (could be wrong!)

- he didnt have a roommate at the facility he lived in. no one wanted to live with him, because they thought he was talking to himself. he wasn’t! he talks to his bag, who is named Baku (like backpack)

- inochi often tries to smoke because his older brother used to smoke and it’s something that makes him remember his brother. baku always takes the cigarette from him before he can and gets rid of it

- he was a rebellious middle schooler, often getting into trouble for jumping the gates and climbing up pipes to sit on top of the roof

- he had no friends until a girl named Shiratama asked if they could be friends. she approached him because she could hear baku’s voice, who only inochi could hear

- he had a small monthly allowance from the facility, but it was hardly anything. it was around 40 dollars, if i remember correctly. thus, he never had any money to eat out, buy snacks, etc. because most of his allowance was spent on train fare

- now in modern day, he works for an organization called Agents. they work to exterminate shadows and keep people safe. inochi is one of their best units, both in terms of combat capability and general knowledge of shadows.

- shadows are essentially corrupted forms of your heart. a heart has a form, and when the person goes through extreme anguish or sadness or etc, their heart’s form can become corrupted

- people can have their shadows eat other shadows for personal gain. it can make their shadow stronger, which can be used for violence and shit. but inochi has baku eat shadows not for personal gain, but to save the person the shadow is connected to. when a shadow becomes corrupted, it can lead to Heart Desolation, where the shadow user falls into a death-like state. inochi has baki eat shadows to save people from this

- his two main coworkers are Monika and Mai. mai is his boss. she manages a unit of agent workers. she also works to keep inochi out of trouble because the higher ups often get mad at his methods. monika is the watchman. she works in a room full of computers and monitors, and essentially has eyes everywhere around tokyo. mai gives inochi his assignments and monika helps inochi find what hes looking for

- inochi pierced his own left ear. two helix piercings. he is used to pain, which is why he was able to do this

- inochi keeps as much of his body covered as possible to help with defensiveness. he wears fingerless gloves to punch people easier, but still use his fingers to grab things

- in general, his fighting style is reliant on improvising and hand-to-hand combat. he does not carry weapons and doesn’t even know how to shoot a gun

- he took in a small girl named Ryuuko, who stepped out from the dead body of her dragon form. inochi really loves her and considers her his little sister. he always puts himself into danger just so he can protect her from a single scratch

- his current assignment from agents is to protect Rei Tsukumo. rei is a 15 year old boy who has a special form of his heart. hes being hunted down by the antagonist because his heart’s form is unique.

- inochi protects rei very well, all things considered. he sleeps inside reis house to make sure hes safe, and walks him to school. he calls rei whenever he gets worried. he wants to help rei return to his regular life, before he started seeing shadows and getting attacked by bad guys

- he initially only started working with rei because rei encountered hitotsume, who again, inochi wants to find. he disliked rei at first, but grew to care for him over time

[blue-the-octoling]

I completely understand! It's not selfish in any way, as you did decide to redisign them first!

Very good, lovely angst! Also, I have an idea for how Lillian died! Instead of falling down the well, how about she dies from hypothermia?

this may just be my shifty knowledge of how the weaver children died, but do we get any explanation on why they were killed in the way they were? I mean, I know Tim and Toms death was because they were seen as "children of the devil", but why were Benny, Lillian, and Caleb killed?

Tim says softly sounding more nervous than exhausted like before. The day goes on as normal their mother makes dinner and their father comes back from town but still no sign of Tom. “He’s… ok he probably is just out in the forest… he’ll come back for dinner…” Tim says to himself the sun had set and the homestead was now shrouded in darkness his siblings already inside eating and he reluctantly joins them. But an hour passes, then two, Tim goes out and looks for him against Benny’s warnings Tom comes before himself. He looked all over the homestead, staying outside for hours in search of Tom. Looking high and low checking each spot once… twice… three times over. When he returned home his sibling long since went to bed he finds his mother in their room…. She’s… SHES BURNING TOMS STUFF… “Mama! What.. what are you doing!? What happened to Tom? Where is he?” Tim yells at his mother his mother snapping back “what has to be done! If I want the lord to forgive my sins I must remove all traces of them. Cleanse them in fire. You devils will never see the light of day again and if I have to die to be forgiven then so be it.” With that she lights the pile of Tim and Tom’s clothing, bedding and personal belongings on fire with the candle she used to light the way to her terrible mission. Tim drops to his knees finally realizing what happened to his brother, tears run down his face as he comes to terms with the fact that his bother is dead. Though it doesn’t last long as his sadness melts into pure anger as he stands to his feet, his knife now tightly clutched in his hand as he lunges at his mother, his knife plunging into her side as she’s knocked into the pile of spreading flames. A loud shriek comes from her as she feels his knife be pulled from her flesh before harshly plunged in again, her hair and dress starting to catch ablaze, her screams continuing on and on as he stabs her not even realizing he himself is also catching ablaze. Tom was all he had… the only person who cared… not his mother nor his other siblings… “YOU WITCH. YOU DARE CALL US DEVILS WHEN YOU DO THIS  TO YOUR OWN CHILDREN…!��� He growls in pure distain and hatred, the flames spreading from his room to the rest of the house. His mother dead from blood loss he finally stops realizing his situation, the deep burn of his skin, he can barely breathe from the smoke. As the fire spreads more finally overtaking both him and the house completely. He screams with what little strength he has left clawing at his face feeling a hot liquid run out of his eye sockets. He can’t see… his lungs feel heavy and smothered and his skin feels like liquid. He can’t feel… he can’t… he passes out. Outside Benny does a head count, one, two… Tim. Tom. They aren’t there. He holds out hope that they’re just in the woods together. For now making sure that Lillian and Caleb are ok. He couldn’t wake up their father, nor find their mother for now he only care about his siblings. Lillian stuck to his side in fear and Caleb doing the same. For now the only thing Benny can do is calm his siblings down and hold out hope that the other two are ok. 

THATS FUCKING GENUISE SHE DIED BECAUSE OF HYPOTHERMIA THE FALL DIDNT KILL HERE THE COLD DID!! Also no we don’t know anything about how they died just the cause of death.

[notthestarwar]

The unwanted and unintentionally abandoned for the WIP ask game? 👀

ah this ones fun!

ok so i took a few artistic liabilities lol i played round with ages a bit. korkie is obi wans son, but only by birth and obi wan was unaware that he knew. in satines eyes korkie didnt need a father (the story goes in to this a bit, its a very mandalorian perspective, which is fun)

the theme of this fic is:

He was a good man but he wasn't a good father

and

He wasn't a good man but he was a good father

the story begins post order 66. Korkie and Boba meet each other when theyre both doing bounty hunter esque work. korkie saves boba and they end up bonding and form this weird partnership/friendship based around the fact that they are both teenagers coming to terms with the fact that their fathers left them in this mess and now theyre having to fend for themselves in a fucked up galaxy.

theres a contrast between how the other adults in korkies life saw his birth father not being involved (and how they expected him to see it) and how korkie, raised pretty isolated from traditional mandalorian culture, and with satines death and the start of the empire, left to fend for himself when he's still a kid really. pretty much. everyone expected korkie to be fine with it and saw obi wan as nothing more than a sperm donor really, and korkie is very much not fine with obi wans absence and does not see him this way. he projects a lot of his anger towards how things have turned out and the galaxy he's now living with on to obi wan.

at the same time, boba is 15 in this. life has been tough for him these past few years and he's begun to feel kind of bitter towards jango for dying and leaving him in this mess (its a very 15 year old perspective, and he finds korkie at JUST the right time to encourage it. otherwise i think that boba would get over that pretty quickly and return to the idolisation of canon)

theyre working togethr and they wind up on tattoine for a job. korkie is heading through a market and hears someone mention 'ben kenobi' and he's like. surely not. no way. korkie ends up finding obi wan who in this au is living with luke raising him himself. korkie argues with him and then storms off and he and boba fly off. theres then a perspectibe switch, we see that obi wan who was unaware korkie even knew who he was is pretty surprised, and then shock! none other than jango steps outside of obi wans house, making a sarky remark about korkie, just in time for obi wan to call him a hypocrite.

jango is not dead. he has just left boba to fend for himself believing that his father is dead, and bizzarely has ended up bumming off obi wan of all people. it started after obi wan stumbled on jango in cryro after the war and reluctantly resuced him, then jango never left. obi wan and jango's relationship in this is so fun. theyre such prickly arseholes to each other. but they keep the other around all the same.

boba and korkie do some more jobs while korkie thinks about obi wan (angrily). korkie ends up doing some research on luke and thanks to his inside knowledge, works out just who he is. then, completely coincidentally, they end up running in to leia whos been kidnapped. they save her. but before they return her, korkie figures out who she is and gets really angry at obi wan again, as he feels its pretty unforgivable to split a pair of twins like that. he goes back to tattoine with her to confront obi wan (the decision making in this fic is bizzare. you have to remember at all times that korkie and boba are traumatised teenagers and jango and obi wan are weirdos). this time boba comes with korkie to visit obi wan, jangos presence is revealed, and obi wan has a bit of a break down over the fact that his teenage son has kidnapped a princess after obi wan didnt pay him enough attention.

boba and korkie think its outrageous to keep the twins seperated and arent really willing to listen to jango or obi wan at this point. but theyre eventually convinced that the twins cant be together because of the empire as it isnt safe. at which point they kind of shrug and go. right then. time for the 4 of us to bring down the empire then i suppose

Here are some random snippets

Thank you for the ask!

[rigelmejo]

In unrelated language stuff. Japanese really is... a mountain. Its a language I try a lot of studying experiments with, for one because its going to be many more years of study so I'm having fun, but also 2 because it has so many hurdles i personally have difficulty with so I am always hopeful some experiment will help things I study click better.

Like. Conjugation was hard to me in french, and there were english cognates to lean on, it is a fairly regular language conjugation wise (japanese has more exceptions i tend to forget how to conjugate). Then in japanese, everything being a very different word order combined with the information dense conjugation makes me even more confused.

A few things worked quite well for me in japanese study. One was nukemarines LLJ memrise decks, which after 2 years of studying other things, i crammed in 6 months and went from 300 words known from Genki and maybe 100 hanzi from Heisig RTK (yes i really didnt learn much in 2 years) to 1000-2000 words recognized and basic grammar and able to read Yatsubo and play Kingdom Hearts 2 in japanese (granted i know the game very well in english). Ever since then, ive been able to read manga and look words up to learn, or follow roughly a lets play of a game i know. I can never focus on anki long, but i recognize its use, especially when i was using the LLJ deck which had hanzi, common words in sentenced, and grammar. Since then, i havent used as organized of a resource. So i squander a lot more time, trying to figure out what to study.

Then I did Clozemaster sincerely for a couple months once in japanese. I think i only got through like 1000 cards. But it FINALLY helped me understand stuff like される られる word endings. Tragically, i forgot what they mean. But forca solid 6 months after my rime with Clozemaster cramming, i finally understood a lot of the grammar that had been confusing me. I desperately need to refresh that knowledge (if anyone has any good quock grammar explanation notes theyve seen). I only remember teimasu is like "ing" doing verb ending in english.

And I did japaneseaudiolessons, and the old glossika cd lessons, on and off. And each time i use audio for a while, i do make good progress. I seem to learn very well from audio. In particular, hearing so much japanese FINALLY got me used to the word order. So i struggle much less to follow sentences. Whereas before the massive listening practice, i would often lose the object or subject by the time i heard the verb. So i could not figure sentences out before, unless they were written, since id forget so much while trying to keep track of which word was which function. Lots of listening to audio lessons really helps me get into this rythm of intuitively knowing the order of the words and remembering the grammar through the whole sentence. Thats partly why i keep trying to study with more audio: its rhe biggest leap in terms of being able to understand japanese more instantly, to comprehend AS i hear or AS i read later (after audio study). I just cannot find another way to get my brain to internalize the word order, except LOTS of listening. The audio lessons have helped my reading skills SO much, all of my japanese listening skills so much, because now when i see eords i know i can comprehend what theyre doing in the sentence without thinking about it. And if i hear unknown words i can tell immediately if theyre subject object adjective verb time or a helper word like very/suddenly. I do plan to switch to reading study next, once I feel my vocabulary is solidly more than 2000 words (ideally 3000-5000 but lol im not sure ill find audio lessons that truly teach that much).

So yeah. Im studying japanese and chinese, on and off, as usual. And its always funny and frustrating when it hits just how much more I understand chinese. I took a 6 month ish break from studying ANY language. So ive been listening to audio lessons to review things i knew before, in Chinese and Japanese right now.

In chinese, i listened to maybe 4 hours of audio lessons review, and 2 hours of SCI mystery audiobook (i did not follow too much but hearing so many words helped jog my memory). Its been a week since starting review. Now? Well first of all, if i look at a chinese webnovel the READING skill comes back within 1 chapter and comes back before i eben did any purposeful reviews this past week. My reading skills in all languages seem to break down/be forgotten/get rusty the least. Second: now that I've reviewed for a week, I can understand almost all words in The Untamed (and the eordw i dont know i have been quickly google translatkng just to realize ITS WORDS I KNEW I JUST FORGOT THEM. Like 鬼 i cant believe i forgot gui its one of the first words i learned! Its in a lot of stuff i read and watch lol! Or 放手 i really forgot fangshou existed, i swear my brain just held onto hanzi as images fine but when i just HEAR a word i dont recognize it until i review it again... hence why SO much listening stuff im doing right now). I listened to 默读 audio drama last night and for the first 20 minutes i followed everything. I would guess i know at least 90% of the words (if i havent forgotten some - as with 镇魂 i knew over 95% of the words 8n most chapters right before i took my 6 month study break, and i also could read modu extensively at that point and get the main idea... since i knew thw english translation to guess bits). To be fair? With the audio drama, i did have the aid of knowing the plot already. But ive known modus plot a LONG time, and in the past i struggled to follow the audiodrama anyway, because compared to the audiobook it had less details forcme to use as a crutch to figure out what scene i was hearing. So me listening to rhe audio Drama yesterday, and following so much? Great. Ive also been listening to the mdzs audiobook, which has been brain frying as i started a week ago before realizing i needed to review the sounds of words lol. But also brain frying because the opening monologue words confuse me In Text form, so in audio form it took me 4 listens to realize they were saying the jiang jin nie lan clans fought wei wuxian etc etc. I heard meng and just completely forgot it meant clan, so my brain kept doing things like "is Xmeng a word i know?" It took me 2 listens to realize the next part was Wei Wuxian in mo manor, and 4 listens to realize mojia was MO FAMILY because id been going "mojia sounds familiar, do i know that word?" The last few listens lol. I also forgot fuchou! How! Anyway. Its an accomplishment. I have never had as much success listening to a BRAND NEW audiobook in chinese of something i havent read before, and been able to understand this much. Its not a lot, im just grasping a lot of phrases and the main scene ideas. And i do have my knowledge of The Untamed plot to help me guess. But its going better than listening to audiobooks used to go. And i see a Huge improvement in dialogue. When people talk now (except the guy who tells exposition stories), i find those words are easiest to recognize and quickly remember again. I think part of it is just: dialogue tends to be more direct communication of ideas, whereas descriptive narration can get creatively phrased and meander and discuss details in phrases i havent heard as much as ive heard conversational phrases. Like when i listened to SCI audiobook last weekend, i could follow some of the dialogue portions great, like at crime scenes, arguing, with their boss, it was the descriptions in between where id get lost for a while.

Its just sort of frustrating and sad how much stusying japanese is like hitting a brick wall and learning tiny chip by tiny chip as it wears gradually, and also grateful my mind clicked with chinese because im so over the moon i did NOT have to struggle as much with chinese. For chinese i thankfully could pretty much do exactly what i did when learning to read french, and i improved on that old study plan, and as a result chinese improvement went by faster than when i initially studied french and floundered for a while. I was reading priest novels by the end of year 1 of study (with a click translator like Pleco). The study plan was simple, worked fine. The confusing parts of grammar clicked with enough reading (after maybe 100 chapters of things), and now (likecwith french) my main grammar issues with chinese are learning to produce them right in speaking and writing. But in reading it just clicks and i know what it means immediately. I dream of the day ill finally get whats going on with japanese verbs and grammar ;-;

[theramblingvoid]

Different anon. If i am the blog you and another have been vaguing about, ive opened up my own anon asks so if a direct approach is too awkward, there's that.

If ive been radicalized, i didnt notice. In all honestly i just dont think anyone should be dying and ive never understood war. Ive been called naive before and i doubt ive changed much since, so im willing to listen, and i hate arguing.

Whatever's going on feels too complicated to put into an ask or even a post and i feel like my words always fall short of my intent to begin with (or end up in the opposite direction). Im not even sure if i should send this so im going to end it here

Hello anon! It's perfectly alright that you sent this and I respect you a lot for doing so. I am admittedly extremely sleep deprived right now, so my words and thoughts might be a little jumbled, so I'll do my best.

Long post ahead, but I think it's very worth it.

The main couple of issues I've seen with the posts you've reblogged (if you are the same person) is that, first of all, they either minimize or blatantly ignore the death toll and suffering in Palestine, and secondly, they tend to link human rights activism (a separate thing from political support) as well as political support of Palestine to having antisemetic motivations 100% of the time (for example, that post claiming that scrolling down on "any" blog that speaks up in support will reveal antisemetism). This is harmful because of the leaps in logic that the posts are designed to make you overlook. It makes a false equivalency between caring about human rights of a population and a stance in favour of a terrorist group working from their country, and then claims that is the same as a hatred of a cultural/religious group that is much more expansive and varied than just the country of Israel. The aim is to have readers accept these jumps so that they stop believing anyone cares out of true empathy, and start associating people speaking out against the killing with antisemetic bigotry.

Similarly to a lot of conservative talking points, these posts also tend to fixate on terminology and technicalities to either minimize an issue, or make it look like something it often isn't. For example, a large number of the posts get quite angry about the current events being called a genocide and claim that it's been definitively proven not to be, but that is blatant misinformation. There is disagreement as to whether Israel's actions qualify as genocide or if ethnic cleansing or a variety of other terms might apply, but it has never to my knowledge been proven in court not to be. They have very proveably been systematically driving Palestinians from their homes in a pattern moving south, hitting civilian targets such as hospitals and refugee camps, and using many other tactics typical of genocide, but in order to be officially named that there has to be intent to wipe out a culture or group and intent is hard to prove. If you'd like more information on where the debate stands, you can find it in a fairly readable format here. (Apologize for using Wikipedia as a source, I am quite tired.) All that aside, though: treating what this mass killing is called as more important than the fact that it is happening is a distraction tactic and an overall weak defense against how horrific the scope of what's being done to Palestine is.

I know this post is getting long, but if you don't mind bearing with me for one more moment I can share some of the news I've seen that the people who focus on tearing down activists are overlooking. I have spent a good chunk of time collecting info from credible sources like CNN, the United Nations, Amnesty International, and Doctors Without Borders, and I highly recommend reading a few of these articles all the way through. (They are very easy reads and shouldn't contain anything descriptive enough to be triggering, based on a quick scan by me.)

- 47.3% of Gaza's population is under 18 (this source also contains a lot of useful information on the ongoing effects of oppression in Palestine prior to this year) (keep in mind that it was written in 2023 so the death toll numbers are no longer relevant)

- Israel is a top 20 global military power with an estimated 670,000 active military personnel. The total population of the Gaza strip in 2022 was only an estimated 2,375,259, with no official military.

- the UN states 34,622 Palestinian people have been killed in Gaza since October 7th, including 7,797 children, 4,959 women, 1,924 elderly, and 10,006 men. This does not include an estimated 10,000 not recovered from the rubble. Only just over 1200 Israeli people have been killed in the same time period, the majority on October 7th.

- Israel has been unlawfully attacking residential buildings in areas they promoted as safe for civilians to evacuate to

- Air strikes by Israel on refugee camps

- Israel has banned Gaza residents from collecting rainwater

- Israel has used drones that play recordings of babies crying and people screaming for help to lure out and kill people who come to investigate

- Israel is blocking humanitarian aid shipments containing essential food, medical equipment, and generators from entering Palestine

- Israel targets journalists who try to document and broadcast what is going on

Antisemetism is an undeniable fact that is ongoing in the world around us and is causing active harm. There are no doubt people using this conflict as an excuse to further their own bigotry, and the people suffering from that have every right to speak on it and point out ways it might fly under the radar. When they do it by minimizing the gravity of the tragedy Palestinians are experiencing right now, though, and by implying dissent against a brutal colonizing government is the same as antisemetism, they are only making the issue worse by attaching the struggles of real individual Jewish people worldwide to the defense of sickening acts against humanity by Israel.

I hope this has been informative and kind as it was intended to be, and I hope you can leave better equipped to spot the differences between honest spreading of awareness and veiled bigotry, and decide which approaches to the situation you would rather show support for. Thank you again for opening yourself up to discussion like this. I think it's a deeply valuable and necessary tool against the Internet's current decent into echo chambers.

[yourwolfmuzzle]

warning - this is a little bit messy post. I have a hard time to focus about one topic. i just want to talking for a little bit there before next episode.

You know what? I kinda still on board about “episode 8 was about “jumping the shark” in term of torture that was going on in the episode and what topics and HOW they analyse those topics. And after some time after the last episode i thing that we in another land of “dark and pretty mature topics, that we start in the series, but never go further in this topic” or “we skip the progress because we dont have enough time in this season for this topic” or EVEN WORST IMHO,“we start this topic but after we start it we was thinking that this topic was not…that interesting”.

Yeah this thing was always there with not only some serious subjects, but just in general plot points. I know, but i was thinking more specifically about heavy subjects in the plot or in the character progression.We never analyze fully Yang losing her arm, prosthetic and the fact that Blake ran away right after she saved her because we want to show RNJR traveling more. Those nice moments from the start of the volume 4? Oh Yang just wear her prosthetic in the next episode in which she appears! Weiss and Yang have a talk in volume 5? Its will be about Weiss family and most of information, that we already knew! This scene from volume 6 in episode 5 with Blake “i will protect you” that you really like and want to see more stuff like this? Naaaa, we will not progress this and just skip into flirting and fighting with ex! Even worst - with prosthetic part we will got this…pretty strange thing about “this is just extra parts, nothing more” and this whole…thing with Ironwood.

Speaking about Ironwood - we will never analyze his progress because we will…just jump into cartoon villain and give him even cartoony spotlight. His prosthetic if about him being a villain and losing humanity. His trauma after Beacon fall will never be analyse or will just skip right into him be “uhhh im evilll and will bomb everything”.

The racism allegory cant have something more because “i mean we was young at that time when we start writing this show". Im understand when you admit that this is was to hard topic to write about, when you young writer, a lot of young artist-writers do mistake like this. But after that admission this topic just…just evolved into something really strange after multiple season and then this topic kinda got dropt and now we have this whole “You can be human…or just a cat, if u want”. 

It hasn’t evolved into something better because writers have gained new experience and knowledge over time, its just evolved into something strange.

We will not fully analyse this whole thing with Ospin and him not able to die fully and have to living in other people’s bodies, mixing his consciousness with someone else’s because oh boy this guy do not know how to stop the main villain! Yang is trying to find the answer to the question of why her biological mother left her will also abrupt end and the last time we saw Raven was in volume 5. 5 years ago. 

Weiss family problem also got pretty fast progress - She arrest her father in one episode and didnt fell anything about arresting a person, who emotion manipulate her throughout her childhood. No questing “do i do the right thing?” or even happy that “he finally got what he deserve, now my family free from him”. Its just happens and thats all.

We never will fully progress about Penny death in volume 3. She will just,,,got back and everybody will just a little bit surprise and thing that this is “strangle wholesome”.~ “BUT WAIT” will you say. “WHAT ABOUT VOLUME 9?”. Oh this? Oh yeah we will just put her grieving moment right in between Yang “high five” and Weiss rock joke and nobody in cast will talk about this forward. We will got only one scene with Weiss saying that “i know that was A LOT to hear” and Blake be like “are you sure this is good idea” after Ruby gave Penny sword to Toy Soldiers. Also scene from latest episode, but im not sure i can count this one because…this is not something that was��coming from Ruby? Like this is not her in a Herbalist drug therapy session, this is not like Ruby run away and got into something, that work like ponder storm. This is Neo talking via Penny. This is not Ruby talking with herself or Ever After react like this because of her intense emotion (raining because someone sad). This is just Neo. This is not a metaphore for how depression can sometime fuck your brain pretty badly, because again - you can do this without Neo revenge part. There is maybe chance there will be something more, but im not sure sight we have only two episodes left and the timing of the episodes never reached 40 minutes. You can maybe have Jaune having a problems after Pyrrha pass away and him “helping” Penny, but you cant have the same with the main characters or even if they can have something like this - this is never go into to deep or dont go for to long.

Also about Rudy and her finally getting progress in her emotion state - yeah you also cant have this. You cant have Rudy analyse by herself what she done and try to work with those mistakes - you HAVE to have Neo talking via people, who Rudy knew or hurt one way and another, even if half of the people Neo probably dont know. You cant make her “fall” without having a metaphoricaly make Rudy kh. No matter what “drinking tea” will evolved into (new Rudy, Evil Rudy, just her teleport back into Remnant, meet a Summer who will motivate her to be a huntresses again, transform into Summer and other theories that i can’t guess or don’t remember right now) - they decide that the best way to make Rudy go through depression, anger, guilt is make her extremely suicidal and drink some tea. Also her weapon, that she was scared to even hold in episode 7? Yeah she can how shot and not even flinch.All those interestings, but pretty heavy topics is there, but also…not there. 

You want to touch some topics, but hesitate to go through those topic fully because OH WAIT WE ALSO HAVE ALL THOSE THING GOING ON IN OUR SHOW OH WAIT ITS THE LAST EPISODE!

This is only the stuff that i remember rn. Death, reincarnation, depression, PTSD, losing someone and grieve, topic about prosthetic and being disabled, abusive family or partner, racism and other heavy topics, 

There is…so many interesting stuff in this show, so many interesting details that you can analyse and topics, that you can progress EVEN when the main plot is still there about “fight with a big bad evil guy”. Even with all issues i have with this show (or with company, but this post is not about this), i cant stop be amaze how there is enough potential and things that can inspire you to do something, no matter if its “””just””” fanfic about some of your favorit ship or something that help you to find out what you want to see in your project. This show is absolutely a big mess sometime, its getting better in one part but then fall apart in other part but because those good part and potentials is there you cant just stop watching. I’ve been with this fandom since the red trailer and everytime this show is amaze me how mess is sometime can be and how it can just…drop something extremely interesting or even personal favorite stuff. This show is inspiring me A LOT and made me love animation, but its also sometime make me fucking scream, stop the episode and leave the room because “ARE THEY FUCKING SERIOUSLY OMG . :””D