#and suddenly they arent seeing anyone else and his clothes are in her room and her toothbrush is in his bathroom and its like

[iviarellereads]

The Eye of the World, Chapter 36 - Web of the Pattern

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(Leaves and vine icon)(1) In which we make a new friend!

The plates Gill has a serving maid bring them are meager, and Rand wonders what will happen if a real growing season doesn't start soon. Gill asks what the real trouble is, and Rand tells a very simplified version of events, keeping Trollocs and Fades out of it. He knows there are holes in the story visible to anyone who thinks, but he doesn't want to endanger Gill.

Rand asks if Elaida Sedai, the advisor to Queen Morgase, would help them. Gill says it's unlikely, especially if she sniffed out the connection to Thom. She has a way of feeling things, knowing what's happened or what will happen. Before Rand can ask about something else, the cook calls Gill away to fix something, but first he tells them that Caemlyn is awash with rats suddenly, clogging things up and chewing through things. He mutters that he hopes it's not the drains again as he walks off.

Mat's stopped eating, and Rand says they've got to keep up their strength to get to Tar Valon. Mat snaps that all this time it's been they'll find their friends in Caemlyn, they'll be safe in Caemlyn, and now it's Tar Valon, as if Aes Sedai are any better than here. Rand reminds Mat that they're alive, and intend to stay that way and find out why they're so important. Mat gives in grudgingly and starts eating again.

They ask a serving girl to lead them up to their room, where she flirts with Rand, making him wish Perrin were here, he'd know what to do about her.(2) When she leaves, Mat collapses onto his bed, clothes and boots and all. He's grumpy and thinks everyone's dead, and Rand gives up and goes off to ask the rest of his questions alone. He asks the serving girl if there's a quiet room he can sit in, and she points him at the library. He asks her to tell Gill that he has a few more questions if he has the time, too. She chuckles and Rand thinks he's probably hiding from the cook.

He goes into the library and sees a book with a title that Tam had mentioned wanting to read many times, and the image of Tam holding the book makes him feel empty and lonely all through. Shortly, though, a throat clears behind him, and as he turns to apologize, he also has to turn his head up, and up further. A creature, almost ten feet tall, with a snouty wide nose, eyebrows that hang down like tails on the side of its face, and pale eyes the size of teacups, with tufted, pointy ears. He yells and tries to get his sword out, but his feet tangle in themselves and he falls down hard on the floor instead.(3)

“I wish you humans wouldn’t do that,” rumbled a voice as deep as a drum. The tufted ears twitched violently, and the voice became sad. “So few of you remember us. It’s our own fault, I suppose. Not many of us have gone out among men since the Shadow fell on the Ways. That’s . . . oh, six generations, now. Right after the War of the Hundred Years, it was.” The shaggy head shook and let out a sigh that would have done credit to a bull. “Too long, too long, and so few to travel and see, it might as well have been none.” Rand sat there for a minute with his mouth hanging open, staring up at the apparition in wide-toed, knee-high boots and a dark blue coat that buttoned from the neck to the waist, then flared out to his boot tops like a kilt over baggy trousers. In one hand was a book, seeming tiny by comparison, with a finger broad enough for three marking the place. “I thought you were—” he began, then caught himself. “What are—?” That was not any better. Getting to his feet, he gingerly offered his hand. “My name is Rand al’Thor.” A hand as big as a ham engulfed his; it was accompanied by a formal bow. “Loial, son of Arent son of Halan. Your name sings in my ears, Rand al’Thor.” That sounded like a ritual greeting to Rand. He returned the bow. “Your name sings in my ears, Loial, son of Arent . . . ah . . . son of Halan.”

Loial tells Rand that humans are very excitable, he had read some stories but he didn't realize how much more so they would be. His first day in the city all manner of people were throwing things at him and calling him a Trolloc. Only the guards saved him, and four days later he hasn't been able to so much as leave the inn, even discouraged from using the common room. The first night he was in there, everyone was shouting and screaming, all trying to get out of the door at the same time. They could have been hurt!

It's not until Loial says "It's not for this I left the stedding." that Rand realizes he's an Ogier!(4) How old is he? Rand knows the question is rude as soon as he blurts it out, but Loial answers, a little defensive. He's only ninety, still ten years from being allowed to address the Stump, so the Elders didn't even let him speak up for himself when he asked to leave. Rand is stunned at his age, and says at least they let him go.

Loial looked at the floor, wrinkling his nose and rubbing at it with one thick finger. “Well, as to that, now. You see, the Stump had not been meeting very long, not even a year, but I could tell from what I heard that by the time they reached a decision I would be old enough to go without their permission. I am afraid they’ll say I put a long handle on my axe, but I just . . . left. The Elders always said I was too hotheaded, and I fear I’ve proven them right. I wonder if they have realized I’m gone, yet? But I had to go.”

A village council meeting that lasted half a day left everyone jumping in frustration, Rand can't imagine a meeting that lasts years. He asks Loial why he had to leave, and Loial says that the more he read, the more he knew he had to see the Ogier-built places for himself, and the Groves. The Ogier have worked with stone, reluctantly, but they prefer to use the trees of a place to build beautiful places.

Loial mentions that working stone was something thrust on them by the Pattern, but the Groves are the work of their hearts. Rand says he didn't realize Ogier believe in the Pattern.

“Of course, we believe. The Wheel of Time weaves the Pattern of the Ages, and lives are the threads it weaves. No one can tell how the thread of his own life will be woven into the Pattern, or how the thread of a people will be woven. It gave us the Breaking of the World, and the Exile, and Stone, and the Longing, and eventually it gave us back the stedding before we all died. Sometimes I think the reason you humans are the way you are is because your threads are so short. They must jump around in the weaving. Oh, there, I’ve done it again. The Elders say you humans don’t like to be reminded of how short a time you live. I hope I didn’t hurt your feelings.”(5)

Rand's feelings aren't hurt at all, though he is curious what it would be like to live so long. Loial says human lives are short, but they have the whole world to live them in. Ogier are bound to their stedding, even if they leave, they must go back eventually, and things change so much outside the stedding anyway. Cairhien's proper name is Al’cair’rahienallen, Hill of the Golden Dawn in the Old Tongue, but they don't remember, and the Grove there hasn't been tended in a thousand years or more. Caemlyn's grove should be a quarter mile from where they sit, but not a tree to be found. The same in Tear and Illian, too. All the Groves gone, the memories and dreams dead.

“You can’t give up, Loial. You can’t ever give up. If you give up, you might as well be dead.” Rand sank back in his chair as far as he could go, his face turning red. He expected the Ogier to laugh at him, but Loial nodded gravely instead. “Yes, that’s the way of your kind, isn’t it?” The Ogier’s voice changed, as if he were quoting something. “Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the Last Day.” Loial cocked his shaggy head expectantly, but Rand had no idea what it was he expected. A minute went by with Loial waiting, then another, and his long eyebrows began to draw down in puzzlement. But he still waited, the silence growing uncomfortable for Rand. “The Great Trees,” Rand said finally, just for something to break that silence. “Are they like Avendesora?” Loial sat up sharply; his chair squealed and cracked so loudly Rand thought it was going to come apart. “You know better than that. You, of all people.” “Me? How would I know?” “Are you playing a joke on me? Sometimes you Aielmen(6) think the oddest things are funny.” “What? I’m not an Aielman! I’m from the Two Rivers. I never even saw an Aielman!” Loial shook his head, and the tufts on his ears drooped outward. “You see? Everything is changed, and half of what I know is useless. I hope I did not offend you. I’m sure your Two Rivers is a very fine place, wherever it is.” “Somebody told me,” Rand said, “that it was once called Manetheren. I’d never heard it, but maybe you. . . .” The Ogier’s ears had perked up happily. “Ah! Yes. Manetheren.” The tufts went down again. “There was a very fine grove there. Your pain sings in my heart, Rand al’Thor. We could not come in time.”

Loial looks pained, as if the destruction of Manetheren were new, and not two thousand years ago. But he moves the conversation on, asking Rand what brings him to Caemlyn if he's from the Two Rivers. Rand finds himself telling Loial the true story, all of it though he jumps back and forth in it, and he's somehow distant and horrified at his own actions as he does. When he starts talking about dreams, he bites his own tongue to stop talking, hoping that Loial will just think he's going mad.

Instead, Loial says just one word. "Ta'veren." Rand asks what it means, and Loial explains how the Pattern is woven just so, and small changes it can accept and work with, but it won't accept big ones so easily. Rand says sure, he could live on the farm or in Emond's Field, but if he wanted to be a king... they both laugh.

“Yes, that’s it. But sometimes the change chooses you, or the Wheel chooses it for you. And sometimes the Wheel bends a life-thread, or several threads, in such a way that all the surrounding threads are forced to swirl around it, and those force other threads, and those still others, and on and on. That first bending to make the Web, that is ta’veren, and there is nothing you can do to change it, not until the Pattern itself changes. The Web—ta’maral’ailen, it’s called—can last for weeks, or for years. It can take in a town, or even the whole Pattern. Artur Hawkwing was ta’veren. So was Lews Therin Kinslayer, for that matter, I suppose.”(7)

Rand isn't sure what this has to do with him, he's just a shepherd, not another Artur Hawkwing. Loial didn't say that, but he could almost feel the Pattern weaving around them as Rand told his story, and he's not even got a Talent in that area.(8)

He rubs the bridge of his nose, then nods decisively and says he wants to travel with Rand and his friends, when they leave Caemlyn. Rand is surprised. Didn't Loial hear all of who and what is chasing them? Yes, but there's a very fine Grove at Tar Valon, well tended, and he's sure Rand is ta'veren, and maybe his friends, too. He thinks he'll see more of the world shaping itself around them if he stays close, and even his Elder Haman would want to see that.

Rand says maybe that's not such a good idea. He's not even sure if his friends will find them. Loial touches his shoulder and says he's sure his friends are well. He asks if Rand will come and talk to him, while he's in Caemlyn, at least. Master Gill is busy running the inn, and almost nobody comes into the library. Rand promises to do just that, and to see the Grove with Loial if they meet again in Tar Valon. He thinks to himself that his friends have to be all right, please.

=====

(1) Previously seen for Tuatha'an, but this is a Rand in Caemlyn chapter and they don't go to the cities. Curious. Perhaps it means our new friend is very connected to nature. (2) Rand seems to consistently quote Perrin as being the one who can talk easily to women, if this and chapter 3 can be said to form a pattern. Meanwhile, Perrin a few chapters ago wished he was as good at it as Rand is. What goobers young men can be. (3) And how lucky they did, or else Rand might have skewered a perfectly decent friend-shaped being! (4) In fairness, how many creatures does Rand know from myth, and how many more might he not know of at all? Still, Ogier! Like Ents, but not at all like Ents. RJ started from the same place as a lot of his contemporaries did, with the Tolkien riff, but he's modulating it as he goes, making sure you know this is an original story perhaps building on the style Tolkien popularized but by no means playing out the same way. (5) He's such a sweetie. Just as impulsive in his way as any of the Emond's Field youths (or Nynaeve), but he's also just as kind and open and ignorant of the world. (6) And possibly the biggest, strangest, and easiest to ignore bomb dropped: Loial says Rand looks like an Aielman. This is the first we've heard of any of THAT! Isn't it? (7) We finally have our word for hero-convenience-itis, for the reason why Rand's feet tangle when he reaches for his sword at the wrong moment, for how he knows when to keep going and when to stop for the night, and for how much trouble he gets into when he goes the wrong way despite all the urging the Pattern can manage. Ta'veren. I have a re-meme of the "Aliens" guy but it's Loial's face from the show, saying "Ta'veren." I would link it near constantly if the way I was doing these posts allowed for it. You're welcome that it's not. LOL (8) Talent, with a capital letter. So, some people have special talents? Well, we've seen Min's, and she hasn't been shuttled off to the White Tower so we can probably assume a Talent isn't related to channeling.

[rhaenyratargeryn]

( Arthur Campbell x Dakota Blue aesthetic

from @bodycountgame ) Oh, we're dancin' in my livin' room, and up come my fists And I say I'm only playing, but the truth is this That I've never seen a mouth that I would kill to kiss And I'm terrified, but I can't resist

[onlyfansdotcomslashshawnmendes]

Sapphire and Moonlight

Bad boy Shawn, because ‘Señorita’ is still stuck in my head // Shawn Mendes smut // NSFW // Word Count: 6,531 // ShawnxOC // I didn’t name her though so insert whoever in your mind // Just...tons of flirting and bantering and sexy sex, a little angst // please excuse any typos I’m awful at catching them, also sorry tumblr wrecks my formatting. 

It was late July, the time of the year when the only reprieve from the heat falls just around midnight and only lasts just till sunrise. The time of the year when humidity clung to the air like a lingering emotion. And he had the audacity to walk in wearing a leather jacket. The sun was just coming up, and even as he slipped inside, shrugging off that jacket in the cool AC of the diner, his skin already glistened with summer. He was tan, dark eyes, and dark curls, slightly damp that threatened to fall in his face any moment. As he sat down at one of the booths, putting his jacket on the seat beside him, he shifted slightly, straightening out his clothes a bit. It was almost as if he’d been riding a while and had just remembered that he may not look as presentable as he’d thought. About that time the waitress came over to his table, introducing herself and giving him a menu. It was also about the time that another waitress in the diner caught his eye. He wasn’t exactly subtle either, his eyes locked on her starting at her face and slowly moving down her body before moving back up it. As he made it back up to her face again, she glanced at him, clearly feeling someone staring at her. Once they made eye contact, he smiled at her, just still watching her even as she turned back to the table who’s order she was taking. He didn’t stop, not until his waitress came back, at which point he gave a sort of rushed, ‘oh uh sorry’ and he would have glanced at the menu, before back up at her, “I’ll take a coffee, black, and a number four, thank you,” he said it with a smile, handing the menu back to her, before turning his face back to that other waitress. He shifted slightly, leaning up as if he might get up and go speak to her. As she closed her notepad though, slipping it and her pen back in her apron she turned to face him, clearly intending to walk past his table. Immediately his face lit up, and he poised himself to speak to her, “Hi I’m Sh-” but she leaned down, cutting him off, “Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” she said as she walked back toward the kitchen. For a moment he was silent, eyes wide, answering a soft ‘No I…’ under his breath before just sitting back in his booth and kind of sighing to himself. When he thought about it, he probably did seem creepy, but he leaned back into the seat then, running a hand through his curls to push them away from his face. It wasn’t much longer before his food came, and he began eating slowly, just trying to relax now and shake the tension from the night off of his shoulders. When he saw her again, he gave her a soft smile now, almost apologetic, or he did his best to make his face seem that way. Once he was finished with his meal, he did wait until she was standing at the front counter before going up to pay for the meal, “Hey,” he said softly, before he really gave her a chance to notice him. “Oh,” she said looking up from what she was doing to lock eyes with him. For a split second he could see it in her eyes, the fact that she was moments away from telling him off. “I’m sorry,” he said before she could, “If I was being creepy earlier.” “You were,” she added in before defended himself, and he could only smile at her, “I know, I’m sorry, I’ve been driving all night, and I’m sleep deprived, not that that’s an excuse or anything but,” again she chimed in, “It’s not,” she clarified. He just laughed again, “I’m Shawn,” he said, “I just…wanted to say hi, and ask your name.” As she pointed to her name tag on her uniform she looked back up at him, “Were you going to tell me I was too pretty not to be smiling too?” she asked but he bit his lip, shaking his head, “No, I promise not,” She seemed to believe that though, and held out her hand, “You’re ready to pay?” she asked, glancing down at the written receipt he was holding. “Oh, yeah I was,” he said handing it over and just letting her key it in the register. “If you’re not getting back on the road, there’s a motel just down the road, keep going straight you can’t miss it,” she said with a soft smile as they exchanged the difference of his bill and tip. “If you’re really that exhausted,” she added. But he gave her a little nod, “Thank you, that’s really kind, maybe I’ll see you around sometime?” he said as he took a step back but she just kind of shrugged at him and gave him a sort of ‘shoo’ motion with her hand. He did opt to take her advice, slipping his leather jacket back on just for the ride, and heading down to the motel to get himself a room. Almost as soon as he walked into the room he was sliding out of that jacket and falling on the bed. It hadn’t been an exaggeration, he had been driving most of the night, and he was exhausted. So soon enough he was entirely out, just sleeping away most of the day. By the time he woke up the sun was already beginning to set, hitting his window just right to shine a single streak of light threw his blinds and directly onto his face. It was what woke him, making him squint and groan, reflecting the metal on his earrings and casting rainbows on the walls of the motel room. He sat up inhaling deeply and cursing softly under his breath as he stretched the stiffness out of his body. Slowly he pulled himself off of the bed, and stretched completely, taking a moment to slip off his shoes and looking around before shuffling to the bathroom. It was a slow process of waking up and forcing himself to take a shower, but once he stepped out of the shower he did feel much better. He walked back into the main area of the room, standing in front of the bed as he dried his hair off, just letting the drops of water roll down his tan body. Once his hair was sufficiently dried he tossed the towel aside and walked back to his discarded jeans, pulling out his phone and unlocking it. A sigh left his mouth as he noted the lack of notifications. Quickly he swiped to his messages and scrolled to the thread he was looking for a response to, just sending another text message that read ‘??? I said I’m here, when am I picking it up?’ tossing his phone back onto the bed. Before he could make it back to his carry on bag though he heard his phone vibrate. He did instantly turn back to it and swipe up only to pause at the notification text that just said ‘when he ready for u to pick it up. relax ur being paid arent u?’ “Oh fuck you, you’re not paying me to wait around,” he said out loud to the empty room, his jaw clenching as he threw his phone back onto the bed and walked back to his travel bag. It was small but had a couple days of clothes in it, just enough his saddle bags would hold it. As he reached in though he pushed aside the gun, and the ammo just to toss some clothes onto the bed piece by piece before zipping his bag. Then he turned back to the bed and pulled on a pair of underwear before pulling on his jeans and then finally a button up shirt. He didn’t bother to respond to that text, hoping that it might send the sense that he was currently irritated with his ‘employers’. It was about that point he did glance at the time, taking note of the fact his stomach was growling, dinner time. He slipped his shoes back on, grabbing his wallet and his motorcycle keys along with his phone and room key, pocketing them. He did have the forethought to take that carry on bag and slip it into the closet of the room before heading out. Pulling his jacket on as he walked to his motorcycle the idea occurred to him to hit that same diner from the morning for dinner. But he did think better of it, and he decided that he would find somewhere else for the evening meal. It didn’t take him much driving to find another place, this one more like a grill though. It was a small town, there wasn’t really that many fast food places, and nothing was terribly far apart. For the life of him he couldn’t figure out why this was the town he’d been sent to in the first place. What kind of Kingpin stayed in a place like this? He turned off his motorcycle in the gravel parking lot of that grill, getting off and locking the stand in place as he took his keys and headed inside. It was a hole in the wall kind of thing compared to some of the places he saw in bigger cities but it was homey. Part of the inside felt like a pub, a place for eating and drinking and part of it was clearly for dancing and talking. There was an outdoor patio area, lit up with lights where people were also dancing and talking. Music filled the inside and outside of the place as he just walked up to the bar, sitting on one of the stools and ordering a beer and a roadhouse kind of burger. While he waited on the food he did make a mental note to spend a couple of extra hours in the gym back home to knock of all of the calories he was racking up on this run. Dinner was fairly uneventful as he ate it, finishing his beer and ordering one more before taking the time to go ahead and leave money on the counter. With his second beer in hand though he stood up, venturing out to the patio, not really looking for anything or anyone, maybe more to get fresh air. But that was when he saw her, the waitress from earlier. A smile painted his lips and despite the fact he thought better of it, he did walk up to her, “Hi,” he said smiling in a coy way, “Let me buy you a drink to make up for being a creep earlier,” When she looked up at him, she pursed her lips, cocking her hip and resting one hand on it. “I have a drink,” she said holding it up, “Are you suddenly blind now?” she asked. “Let me buy you another,” he bargained. “So you can spike it? I’m good,” she clarified. Once again all he could do was laugh at her, looking down and smiling while he did, “You’re really determined to make sure I don’t shoot my shot, aren’t you?” he asked. But she nodded seriously, “Of course I am, boys like you are dangerous,” she said matter-of-factly. “Boys like me?” he asked furrowing a brow, “What is a boy like me?” his tone was a bit more coy than playful now, flirtatious. “You’re hot,” she said stepping up toe to toe with him despite the height difference, “And you know you’re hot no matter how much you want to modestly deny it. Girls never tell you no, they’re flattered to have you tripping over them. It’s killing you that I’m making you work for it,” she said with a head tilt. “No it’s not,” he said laughing some but she only nodded, “It is, it’s all over your face,” she explained, before resting her hand on his chest, perfectly manicured nails catching his eye. “And those eyes,” she said, her fingers slowly moving over his chest, “Such sweet eyes, deep brown, they look innocent, you’re not innocent. Those curls, you look like a little angel, you’re not an angel,” she said before running her hand up his neck only to rub a thumb over his lips, “Your lips say your kisses are poison, regardless of what kind of beautiful words come out of them,” she said. “Mhm,” he hummed, leaning his head down to gently nip her thumb. “What if you’re wrong; and everything you just said is absolutely total shit?” he asked, “What if my eyes are kind, not innocent? And what if I am an angel, without wings to take me back to heaven?” he asked leaning in closer, letting his lips nearly brush hers, inches apart. As his hand moved to rest on her jaw, his thumb brushing over her cheek. She could smell his scent, and not just the beer on his breath, whatever intoxicating cologne he wore. “What if my kisses taste like honey?” he said in almost a whisper, just for them being so close. “I never said poison wasn’t sweet,” she answered just as quietly. A soft laugh left his lips, lusty in nature, “Aren’t we both holding poison in glasses?” he asked against her lips, slowly lifting his head so his lips brushed hers. But he jolted back as the sound of glass shattered, liquid spraying onto his jeans and shoes and a soft gasp left his mouth. He looked down and saw instantly where she’d dropped her glass on the patio floor. Between the music and laughter only a few people had noticed, but his eyes shot back to her, “Now I’m not,” she said in a more stern voice, “Dance with me,” There was a moment of silence as he smiled and then slowly realized she wasn’t joking, “I’m a horrible dancer,” he said quietly. “I can lead,” she said, taking his beer and setting it aside, “Don’t you want to know how my body feels in your hands?” That earned her another soft laugh from him but he nodded and stepped closer to her, “Lead the way,” he said gesturing more toward the center of the outdoor area. She did take his hand though, pulling him out some and almost immediately dancing herself, just kind of swaying in front of him and taking his hands and pulling them to her sides. That part he did get pretty quickly, wrapping his arms around her, pressing his body up against hers. It took him a few minutes, but soon enough he was in motion with her, leaning down and brushing his lips against her cheek and jaw as she ran one hand up his back, tangling it into the back of his curls. “So,” she said after a moment against his jaw, nuzzling her face against his, “How does my body feel?” she asked with a giggle. “It fits in my hands perfectly,” he said against her jaw, giving her soft kisses along her skin there as he pressed his body against hers, his hands beginning to run up her back slowly. But almost as soon as he got that touchy, she pulled back, just turning her back to him. Once again she pressed up against him, wrapping her arms around his neck as she ground her hips back against him. At first he just put his hands on her sides, but slowly he let his palms wrap around her, resting on the front of her hips as he moved his hips in time with hers. The more they danced, changed positions and styles on the floor the more he fell in line with it. Of course it didn’t make him any less interested in her, and by the time she took his hand and pulled him to the side again, his cheeks were flushed a soft pink. He was sweating as she seemed to only glisten in the hot summer night. “I think you should get me a drink now,” she said looking up at him with a smile. He couldn’t help but grin, doing his best not to look so pleased with himself, “What do you want?” But she rolled her eyes at him, “You to get me a drink back at your hotel,” she said looking up at him with a rather sweet flirty smile. Now his grin was coy, biting his bottom lip as he took her hand, pulling her toward the front of the restaurant. “You’re eager,” she said laughing as she let him pull her along. Soon enough though they were standing in front of his motorcycle, and he was getting on before taking her hands and helping her get on as well. “Now you have to hold on really tight okay?” he said looking back at her. “Yeah, I know how this works,” she said in a more playful tone, wrapping her arms around his waist, running her palms up his chest slowly, and just holding him tight. Moments later though he was starting that bike and already beginning to drive them back toward the hotel. As he drove she did hold him close, her hands gently massaging his chest, resting her cheek against his back, just taking the opportunity to snuggle against him some. He was so big, especially compared to her, and she just took a moment to savor the way his toned muscles felt under her fingertips. Even through the fabric of his shirt she could feel the ripples beneath her fingers. Soon though the pulled up outside of that hotel, and he got off, once again getting the motorcycle in place, and then helping her get off of it, taking her hand as he pulled her along, slipping into his room with her and locking the door behind them.  Once he turned back to face her though, within seconds she was pushing him back onto the wall, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling his face down, standing on her tiptoes even in the heels she was in to kiss him. Instantly his arms wrapped around her waist as he leaned down to kiss her. Long fingers slid up her back, one hand tangling into her hair at the nape of her neck, pulling gently. It was just enough to make her moan into that kiss, a soft little noise almost like a kitten mewl. As soon as her lips parted, his tongue slipped into her mouth and he was already walking her backward. He kept walking her back, slowly, his hand on her back guiding her, keeping himself bent over so that she wasn’t still on her tip toes. He walked her back until her shoulders hit the opposite wall, this wall only feet from the bed in the room. His tongue still tangled with hers inside of her mouth, and her hands left resting on his chest to push the jacket off of his shoulders. “I thought you wanted a drink,” he whispered against her lips, a smile painted on his own as he spoke. He broke it only to speak, shrugging off his jacket and pulling off his shirt while he was in the process, just to not have to stop kissing her again. “You’re so fucking cocky,” she said with a grin, pushing at his chest, almost as if to push him off of her, “With that attitude your cock must be huge,” her tone was sarcastic, “You walk like it is,” she purred. “Well, you’re about to find out aren’t you?” he asked, reaching to take a hold of her jaw, lifting her face to lock eyes with her before he kissed her again. She almost moaned into that kiss, just the amount of passion he put into it, his fingers slipping down lower to wrap around her throat as he took a step closer to her. Her hands found his body now, running up his sides and over his chest, down the ripples of his stomach. Nails gently dragging over his skin, leaving little claw marks along him while she did. The way they kissed was intense, starving as if they were trying to outdo each other. Both of their hands tangled in the other’s hair, his fingers pulling hers almost as if he’d hold her still that way. Her fingers tugged his curls though, almost just to feel his breathing shake against her lips. It felt like hours of those kisses before his hands found her hips and picking her up, her legs instinctively wrapping around his hips. His hands slid down her back, grabbing at her ass, and just sort of holding her up that way as he pressed her back more against the wall for leverage. Regardless it seemed effortless for him to hold her up that way, and he kept kissing her, like her breath was the only thing filling his lungs. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, tangling her fingers in his curls, and giving soft moans and purrs into those kisses. It wasn’t much longer though before she turned her head to the side, exposing her neck to him, “I want more of you,” she whispered, giggling as she felt his kisses move down her neck. “More than kisses?” he whispered, his lips moving up the curve of her neck now. He would leave full lipped slow kisses, almost sticky as he trailed them up to that soft spot just behind her ear. He attacked it as his lips reached it, kissing and sucking the skin, dragging his teeth over it and nipping. “Mhm” she purred, giggling at his touch despite it turning into a moan halfway through, her nails clawing down his scalp. “God, you’ve got me so fucking wet…” “Good,” he whispered against her ear before nipping gently at the lobe. But he slowly turned and walked to the edge of the bed, sitting her there as he reached down to unzip the back of the dress she was wearing. With one swift tug he pulled it over her head, dropping it beside the bed as he knelt down and slipped her heels off, one then the other, running his hands up her thighs as he watched her. “You know they say when a woman’s lingerie matches, you didn’t get lucky, she planned to fuck you,” he said letting his fingertips move up her hips and over the deep crimson panties, up to the matching bra. It wasn’t exactly lingerie, a bit of sheer material and some floral patterns mixed in but all the same she made it sexy. “I think in this case, you should consider yourself lucky,” she said leaning down, resting her fingertips under his chin and lifting it before kissing him again. This kiss was soft and short, and she spoke against his lips with a moment, “Now take off your pants so I can see if you’re wasting my time or not,” When she said that, he laughed, slowly standing up then, “Mn, well get there but you’re going to have to be patient,” he said reaching behind her and undoing her bra now, pulling it off as well, before reaching down to tug off her panties. A soft gasp left her lips as she sort of fell back, letting him toss that fabric aside, before sitting up on her elbows to look at him. “What, like what you see?” she asked before sitting up and then standing, reaching up to tug him down again, “Of course I do, I have taste,” he said resting his hands on her hips before pushing her back onto the bed again, this time moving over her as he kissed her again. That kiss was broken soon by him though as he reached one hand up, spitting on his fingers and sliding that hand between them. Moments later his fingers found her slit, and he pushed two fingers into her, slowly massaging her inner walls at first. Soft moans left her lips almost instantly as one hand tangled back in his hair the other hand sort of clawed along his arm. Her legs fell open for him, and her body almost naturally arched against his touch, “That feels good,” she encouraged, her breathing a soft pant. “Good,” his voice was a hot breath against her neck, his lips dragging up the curve and up to her temple, nuzzling his face against her as his free hand roamed her body, touching and feeling her. It was almost overwhelming for her, the heat of his body, tenderness of his lips and those fingers inside of her that hooked just into the perfect spot. Slowly those fingers got faster, rougher, the heat already beginning to bubble in her stomach, dangerously close to overflowing already, “Oh…fuck,” she whispered, those moans of hers turning into a whine now as her nails dragged against his shoulder and back, “Oh, fuck Shawn, that’s good,” her hips didn’t grind up to him anymore, instead just staying arched up off the bed. “You’re not going to cum already are you?” his voice was husky but it was condescending, “I thought you would put up more of a fight than that,” The way he spoke didn’t stop him from nuzzling into her neck, nipping and kissing that tender skin as he worked those fingers faster inside of her, his thumb now brushing over her clit, which only served to make her hips jerk against his touch. She was whining constantly now, cursing under her breath, her body jerking and twitching as her nails nearly drew blood from his skin. Moments later though one of her hands shot to cover her mouth as she almost screamed against it. Just as quickly as her hand moved though, his hand grabbed it, pulling it away from her mouth, “Don’t you dare,” he hissed through gritted teeth, “If I’m making you scream you fucking scream for me,” his fingers moved rougher inside of her now. And scream she did, her body jerking as she reached her orgasm, soaking his fingers and his wrist, as well as the covers between them. Her voice trembled almost like a dry sob with each noise she made, her hips rolling against his touch while she came down from it, humming in the afterglow of that pleasure. “Good girl,” he said in a whisper, kissing down her neck and over her chest, leaving kisses and licks along her breasts, nipping her skin gently while he did. But his eyes were up and locked on her as her chest heaved and she did her best to relax, her fingers tangling into his curls, just crawling along his scalp, gently scratching at him while her hips sort of shifted. It was like she was squirming to find a spot she was comfortable in again. “What?” he said after a moment, his chin between her breasts his eyes up and locked on her face, “Are you still worked up? Do you want something else? You want me to fuck you maybe?” he whispered, kissing his way up to her chin and brushing his nose and lips against hers, “I want you to say please, you’ve been such a fucking brat all night, and now you’re going to ask politely,” She gave a huff at his statement, looking at him with defiant eyes, but she sighed before nodding, “Fine, please,” As she spoke, he moved back up onto his knees, undoing his jeans, and hooking his thumbs in the sides of his underwear, pulling both down at the same time, and kicking them off as he kept his eyes locked on hers. A coy grin found his lips as her eyes moved up and down his body, her mouth slowly falling open in shock, “Please fuck me,” she whispered before looking back up at him. “Is it big enough for you?” he asked, giving her SUCH a smirk. Despite the fact that she felt her cheeks heat up, she did her best to play it off, even as he moved back over the top of her, “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she said not breaking that eye contact. “You don’t?” he asked, laughing softly as he lightly pressed his hips against hers, shifting ever so slightly so that his cock slipped between her thighs and slid up and down her slit as he rolled his hips. That already elicited a soft moan from her but his hand slid behind her, tangling back in her hair and jerking it hard, enough to make her gasp and whine softly, “My cock,” he said in a stern voice, “You think my cock is big enough for that greedy fucking pussy hm?” She nodded instantly, whining softly, “Yes, yes it’s big enough, I want it so bad please stop making me wait,” she in a quiet voice, despite the fact that her hands were almost pulling at his hips now. “That’s what I thought,” he said in a softer voice, giving her a smile as he reached down, taking a hold of his cock and moving so that it gently pushed into her, giving a soft moan of his own as that tight heat swallowed him. It took the two of them a moment to find a rhythm that they both matched to. He began slower so that he wouldn’t hurt her, and yet she instantly pressed against his hips, almost like begging for more. Soon though he was thrusting into her at a steady pace and his hand slid up her body, wrapping around her throat. He didn’t really choke her, more just rest his hand there, giving her another knowing grin as her hand wrapped around his wrist. “Choke me,” she whispered and with a nod he tightened his grip on her throat. “Of course sweetheart,” he cooed in a slightly condescending tone but leaning in and kissing her forehead as his hips rolled against hers. For a split second he could see the whites of her eyes as they fluttered and her mouth fell open. He could feel her tighten against his cock as well, clenching and squeezing as her body tightened against him. The waves of pleasure radiating up through her body as she wrapped a leg around his waist. It was so much better than she wanted to admit it was, the way he moved his hips was insane it was like he knew exactly where to aim. Each push into her made his cock drag against the most sensitive spots inside of her. That alone was enough to take her breath away, but the way his fingers pressed against her throat was magical. She could breathe, easier than she was used to with boys who tried this before. But her mind felt like a haze, almost like she couldn’t move, like she had to lay there and take his cock any way he wanted to give it to her, not that she had any complaints. “Does it feel good baby doll?” he whispered against her jaw, “You look like you’re enjoying yourself,” his voice was still cocky, his lips pulled into a smirk as he reached his free hand between them, brushing over her clit while he kept thrusting into her. This earned him a yelp though, her hips jerking up against him as she arched her body, her head falling back so that his lips dragged along her neck. “You feel…so fucking good,” she whispered, “That cock is so fucking deep baby, you’re amazing,” she panted, looking at him the best she could. “I’m glad,” his voice was genuine now as he dragged his lips and nose up her cheek, kissing at her cheek softly, speaking there despite how rough he thrust into her now, “You’re so wet, it feels incredible…” he panted softly, “You’re so beautiful right now, the way your lips fall open when you want to speak but can’t, you look like a fucking angel with my cock inside of you,” When he said that, she laughed softly, it was a worked up laugh and mixed in with her moans, “I knew you were bad,” she gasped, her lips falling open again as his cock brushed that sweet spot. But within seconds he slipped out of her, “The kindest demon you’ll ever know,” he cooed, his hands flipping her. His arms were strong and he handled her almost as if she were a doll, tossing her around was nothing for him. It was all so fast, he had her on her stomach, pulling her hips up so she was on her hands and knees. Strong hands pushed her back to form her into the arch he wanted. Seconds later he was pushing back into her, making her cry out at the sudden intrusion. “Oh god, it’s fucking deeper like this,” she cried out, arching tighter and pressing back against his hips. “That’s a good thing right?” he asked with a laugh, but her hands clawed at the sheets beside her head, “God, yes, it’s fucking amazing, you’re so fucking good,” she whined, her voice almost trembling as she felt his hands rest on her hips. He had control of their motions now, pulling her back into his thrusts as he slammed up into her each time. He did keep her bouncing, body shaking the bed moving with them as he set that pace. Soon his hand ran up her back, tangling into her hair and pulling it back like a leash, earning himself another gasping moan from her. He could hear her on the verge of sobbing now, whispering things like ‘its so good’ and ‘please yes’ under her breath while she did. “That pussy mine tonight baby?” he purred, leaning in to kiss along the back of her shoulder. Almost as soon as he asked, she half sobbed a soft ‘yes’ her voice vibrating it out as he nuzzled against her. “You’re such a sweet girl,” he whispered in her hair, resting his lips there, “Are you going to let me cum inside of that hot pussy baby? Are you going to let me fill you up with this thick load?” his voice was ragged now, despite the gentle way he nuzzled against her. She could already feel herself getting closer, and with the way he spoke to her, she whined, reaching one hand under her, massaging her clit in a fast desperate way. “Yes,” she whined out again, voice still shaking, “You’re going to make me cum Shawn, please, please don’t stop, I want you to cum for me so bad, fill me up,” her voice was nearly a sob now, and the way he almost growled against her ear when she spoke…that was enough. Seconds later she was reaching her second orgasm, her body clenching so tight against his as she screamed. This time it wasn’t muffled or stifled, but it did fade into a pleasured sob moments later, soft ‘yes’s trailing it out as she quieted down. Her hips rolled against him while she rode it out, but after a few more rough thrusts he was spilling into her. His own moan a gasp, low and hungry as he just tried to push his hips tighter against her. She could feel the way his cock throbbed inside of her, and the way that warmth seemed to drain into her stomach, running down her thighs as he slipped out of her. As soon as his hands were off of her body, she collapsed against the bed, slowly moving and crawling up to rest against one of the pillows. However she positioned her body so she was looking up at him, doing her best to ignore the shit eating grin on his face. “That was hot, you’re so fucking sexy,” he panted after a moment, leaning down and brushing her hair out of her face as he kissed her temple. “Do you want a drink now?” he asked quietly. “Nuh-uh,” she whispered, but her hand rested on his, before moving to hold his wrist, “Lay with me,” she said quietly, “Let me pretend you’ll be here in the morning,” Despite the fact that he moved and rested beside her, he laughed a little, “Did you forget this is my hotel room, why wouldn’t I be here in the morning?” he asked shaking his head, “You should go use the bathroom, right?” he said in a very paternal kind of way. But she just wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer as he fingers massaged his scalp through his curls again, “Stop bullshitting me, everyone here knows who you are, who you work for,” her tone wasn’t mean, it wasn’t mad or even accusing, just soft and sleepy. All the same, the room fell silent once she’d spoken. “Then why did you do this?” he asked quietly, watching her smile as her eyes closed in a sleepy way. “Because you wanted me to, and no matter how much I knew I should be running the other way, you’re so damn hard to say no to,” she cooed as her fingernails gently scratched at the nape of his neck. “I thought you didn’t like that,” he said in a teasing way, leaning in and letting his nose brush hers. “Mn, I wish I could have kept pretending that I didn’t,” she said softly. After that he didn’t speak, his hand stroking her hair as her nails lazily scratched at him, playing with his curls until she fell asleep. Honestly, he was on the verge of falling asleep himself, until he heard the familiar vibration of his phone. Slowly he pulled himself from her, careful to not wake her up, sighing heavily as he walked to his jeans. Taking his phone out of the pocket he swiped up to see his notifications, despite already knowing what it was. His eyes scanned the single text message, ‘he’s ready for your pickup.’  “Fuck,” he cursed under his breath, sighing again as his eyes fell on the girl in his bed. Quietly he got dressed, pulling on each piece silently, but when he got to his jacket, he glanced back at her before just resting the jacket on the edge of the bed. She could have that, if she didn’t hate him, he decided, an apology of sorts. Once dressed he slipped his bag out of the closet, sliding that gun in the back of his jeans, pulling his shirt over it to hide it. Lastly, he walked to the side table in the room, over to the pen and paper that was always left there for guests. He took a moment to write his cellphone number, and just a little note that read ‘Call me, señorita ♡’ just tossing that note pad on top of his jacket before he slipped out of the room. And he did go by check out, paying for the room before he got back on that motorcycle once again.

[a-wanderin-whirlybird]

Sole Ender AU Its the Little Things

It's the little things that made Ryan feel safe with the Fakes. Like how Gavin and Michael always walk on his right side, never his left, so he can always see them. It's how Geoff makes sure that any Heists outdoors are occurring when it doesnt rain. It's how Jack always has an extra umbrella or Eye Patch for him. How Jeremy and Lindsay make sure to never make direct eye contact. Jeremy looks at his mouth, Lindsay watches anywhere and everywhere else.

Those little things always made Ryan feel welcome. Even after they found out about the experiments, the Lab, the Eye. But still, something felt missing, Ryan could never put his finger on it. But he felt, lost still. He didnt realize the Emptiness was caused by something so simple until one night while playing Trivial Pursuit.

"Authors last names? Fuck that! Every last bastard whose ever written a book has a weird ass last name! They could be Hilda Sasquatch or some shit!" Jeremy shouted. Jack laughed and Gavin snorted.

"Jeremy, you wrote a book." Michael reminded him.

"Well Dooley is a funny last name!" Gavin pointed out as Jeremy growled and slapped the Brit on the back of his head.

"Yeah, like Free is any better!" Jack was losing it in the background as the Lads began to bicker and wrestle. Ryan's nose scrunched as his chest tightened and the empty feeling began again.

"What's with the face Rye?" Geoff asked breaking Ryan's stare. His left eye was covered with a glittering purple and blue eye patch Gavin had made out of his Sparkles. It was a fine gift, one that Ryan treasured.

"Its, it's nothing really." Ryan insisted a bit hesitantly. Geoff shook his head.

"Suuuuuurrrre, it's really nothing." Geoff drawled sarcastically. Ryan rolled his eye.

"Your like a security camera." Ryan muttered. "You keep digging and digging."

"Yeah that's not weird at all." Geoff sighed. "But fine, I'll stop. Just remember you Can talk to us."

"I... I know Geoff." Ryan muttered as the fight before them settled. "Just. Not now?"

Geoff nodded and they all turned back to the game. Ryan hoped that he could bury that empty feeling and never touch it again.

It was just a Last Name after all.

Turns out Ryan couldnt avoid the feeling for long. It was another game night a few weeks later. Jack and Geoff were out with Gavin, so Michael, Jeremy and Lindsay insisted Ryan joined them for Mario Party.

"Right so what's got you so fucked?" Michael asked never looking away from the mini game on the screen.

"Oh elegantly put Jones." Jeremy teased. Michael knocked into Jeremy who went tumbling away and Ryan felt the hole in his chest open again.

"I dont know what you mean." Ryan said as Lindsay pressed into him.

"Bullshit you keep wincing at random! Your eye bugging you?" Lindsay asked this time. Ryan shook his head, he felt stupid he just wanted these people to stop caring so much!

"We arent going to stop caring dipshit that isnt how this works." Jeremy said. Great, Ryan thought, he said that out loud.

"Yeah! We're a crew and shit we ain't gonna not care! Somethings bugging you and we want to help!" Lindsay declared throwing her arms around Ryan and pulling him into a hug.

Ryan tensed then mumbled.

"Sorry what was that?" Michael smirked. "Cant hear you through Lindsay dude."

"I dont have a fucking last name alright? It's a small stupid thing but it drives me nuts! I feel even less human!" Ryan shouted, pushing away from Lindsay. Michael and Lindsay began to laugh.

"Dude chill. It's just a name it doesnt mean shit!" Michael wheezed.

"Yeah dude. No need to get your panties in a twist over it." Lindsay added. Ryan growled and silently rose to his feet.

"Ryan?" Jeremy started but with a Vwoop, Ryan teleported away leaving the three others behind. In a cloud of dull sparkles.

Ryan could teleport pretty far. The farthest he ever went in one go was 20 miles. But now he didnt want to go far, just hide. And what better place to hide than one of the safe houses?

It was a small apartment closer to the suburbs of Los Santos, it was nice, if small. It was usually reserved for when someone was on a solo mission and needed to lie low, which meant that Ryan was there most. So he got to decorate.

Back at the Labs he never got to make any space his own. Everything was sterile and empty. He hated to remember the open space and clean white walls and the smell of bleach and chemicals.

Which was why this space was filled with stuff. Sure it was tidy, nothing was rotten or moldy, but Ryan used every space available. If the floor didnt have a rug there was a table or chair. If the tables didn't have Flowers, TVs, knickknacks or something on it there was usually a cup of Diet Coke. It was filled to the brim with bright plants, paintings, photos you name it.

Ryan plopped down on the couch feeling stupid. Why was he so hung up on a name? He had given himself the name Ryan sure, why not a last name?

Ryan knew why, and as that thought rose up he pushed it away. He didnt want any memories of the Labs in his head right now. Now he wanted to just sleep, he wanted to feel less... less stupid and childish.

So Ryan went off to the bedroom and buried himself deep under the covers, like he used to, and blocked out the rest of the world.

Ryan was 13 again and he sat on his cot, swinging his legs absently.

"Why dont I get one?" He heard himself ask. "Why am I only a number?"

"Names are given by family to people. You have no family and you are no longer human. You are far better than that." One of the blurred figures said. The second scoffed.

"Better? It cant even run the most basic excersise without failing ten times. Its isnt anything but a waste." Ryan couldnhear the sneer in the figure's voice as pain shot through every nerve on his body. "Failure doesnt get you a name of any kind. You are a tool, and a broken one at that. Dont forget that."

Ryan woke up with a start. Turning to the clock Ryan cursed. 3 am. He wasnt going back to sleep. Again.

Getting to his feet Ryan didnt bother to change into fresh clothes. He had slept in his jeans why not just use them again? But he grabbed a jacket and went out into the night.

Mount Chilliad loomed in the distance as Ryan walked the dark streets of Los Santos. He could have teleported where he wanted to go, or even driven. But he didnt want to. Walking felt better, it gave agency, he decided where his feet went, no one else.

"Oh Thank Fuck! I've been looking everywhere for you!" Ryan jumped, ready to fight and run from the handlers. When recognition snapped his mind from bad memories.

Standing before him was Jeremy, holding a tiny wiggling bundle of fur. A cat from what Ryan could tell. Jeremy smiled nervously, but relief was evident in the smaller man's eyes.

"Look, uh. Fuck I suck at this shit. Let's go inside yeah? We are near a place I own. Come on." Jeremy ushered Ryan towards a nearby apartment building. Ryan followed wordlessly, but obediently. At the door Jeremy hopped around a little.

"Keys, keys. Uh Hey Rye mind.holding him for a sec?" Jeremy then thrust the cat into Ryan's hands who finally got a good look at the little fur ball.

They were a tiny black kitten, fuzzy and wiggling furiously. What stood out the most was that it was missing a front leg.

The door clicked as.Ryan made eye contact with the little kitten. His chest tightened and his mind whirled as he looked into the kittens little eyes. Then it looked at Ryan's jacket and started burrowing into one of the interior pockets. Ryan felt a purr resonating out of the tiny cat from in his jacket and through his ribs. His chest began to unclench and suddenly he was.aware he was inside a studio apartment.

There were art supplies everywhere. Everything from Yarn and Knitting needles, to paints and canvases to wood sculptures, and musical instruments were strewn about. Jeremy hopped around the room over to a ragged old bed, kicking off his shoes as he went.

"Well, make yourself at home. Dont mind the mess things just get thrown around alot." Jeremy said sheepishly. Ryan picked his way through the room, his eye moving around and soaking up all the little pieces. The space felt lived in not just visited like the safe houses.

"Is this a safe house?" Ryan asked as he sat down on the bed. Jeremy shook his head.

"Nah. It's my apartment. Before I joined the Fakes I lived here. Still try to come back, sometimes you just need your own place you know?" Jeremy explained. There was a tense silence for a few minutes then Jeremy spoke.

"Michael and Lindsay were being a bitch." Ryan tensed ready to run. "No please just, hear me out?"

Ryan froze, suddenly aware he had gotten up to leave. Jeremy had his arm, and the Kitten purred even louder than before. Ryan sank back onto the bed.

"Look. I dont know what your life was like before you joined us but it obviously wasnt even a little bit good. Actually it sounds like it was fucking awful." Ryan laughed dryly.

"That's putting it lightly."

"Yeah no shit. But it's not stupid to feel shit." A pause. " If not having a Last name bugs you why dont you give yourself one?"

"Its not..."

"Not that simple yeah?" Jeremy finished Ryan nodded as the kitten crawled out on Ryan's lap.

"Alright, well. Do you think you can tell me why?" Jeremy asked. Ryan thought, eye down on the kitten as the little guy curled up on his lap without a care.

"Its not the same. It belongs to a family. I cant be a family of one." Ryan insisted and Jeremy shook his head.

"Ok two things. One. Thats a load of horseshit and who ever told you that was dumb as fuck. And two. There is more to it isnt there?" Ryan stayed silent. Running his fingers through the Kitten's fur. Jeremy began to whisper. "You're human, Rye. Just cause someone says you arent doesnt make it true. I know that one."

Ryan froze he didnt expect anyone to pick up on that. The whole Not human but was always somewhere in the back of his mind, eating at him. Jeremy wrapped himself around Ryan hugging him tightly. Ryan shook as he melted into the other man's touch, a few tears spilling out.

"You know. My family abandoned me when I was a teenager. Said I was a monster just cause I kissed both guys and girls. Not exactly dubious experiments but it is dehumanizing all the same. I kept my last name though. I did it as a big old fuck you to them. They died during one of the Fake's heists. Got to watch then burn myself. But the name never connected me to them, a name connects you to who ever you want it to." Jeremy was quiet as he spoke, his voice against Ryan's skin as he pressed into Ryan's neck.

Something was bubbling in his brain, but Ryan had no idea what it was. And right now was not the time to figure that out.

A small Meow pulled the two away from one another. The little kitten was trying to climb up Ryan's jacket between the two. As it scrambled up Jeremy laughed, and Ryan felt a chuckle escape his throat. The kitten then flung itself over Ryan's shoulder, it's one front paw kneading his shoulder blade and purring up a storm.

"I forgot this little guy was here." Jeremy said through a laugh. A pause, then Jeremy smiled softly. "Ya know, I was going to take him to the shelter. Geoff won't let me keep any animals. But I think you should take him."

"You just said-" Ryan began but Jeremy shook his head.

"I'm not allowed any animals. Geoff never said anything about you keeping a pet. And hey! Now you have another family member! You can give him a first name and a Last name of your choice!" Jeremy beamed at Ryan who smiled a little.

The sun rose as the Battle Buddies walked into the penthouse. The morning news was filling the living room, telling the story of several Petstores that had been robbed of supplies in the night.

"And what a coincidence, you both have Pet stuff." Geoff hissed as he sucked back more.coffee.

"Yeah well, Ryan's got a cat now so you gotta have toys and a litterbox to you know?" Jeremy said as he dropped a giant bag of cat food next to the kitchen Island.

"I thought I said no pets!" Geoff shouted, his voice cracking.

"Yeah but only for Jeremy." Ryan pointed out. "Abd Finnieas isnt a pet. He's family."

Geoff paused, Ryan knew the gears were turning. Geoff groaned.

"Ugh! Fine! You can keep the damn cat!" Geoff hissed. "And Finnieas? The hell kind of name is that?"

"Ih his full name is Finnieas Gavallo Haywood thank you." Ryan insisted with an air of dramatics. Jeremy giggled and kept in front of Ryan who held the kitten before him.

"A poud name Haywood! Ancient and divine! Dating all the way back to 4 hours ago!" Jeremy exclaimed. Geoff laughed.

"Alright you dolts get a move on. I'm going to text Jack and let them know you two caused the morning rukus." Geoff said. Jeremy took off down towards Ryan's room, a bag of cat toys in hand. As Ryan went to follow, Geoff got up off the couch. He placed a hand on Ryan's shoulder and gave a lop sided smile.

"Haywood's a good name. You know. I picked Ramsey myself when I built this crew. Jack took Patillo at that time to." Geoff then walked away, pulling out his cellphone and typing.

Finnieas purred as Ryan took in the unspoken message.

A name may seem like a Little Thing, but it holds importance all the same. And sometimes you need to give yourself those Little Things to heal.

[crispclown]

kurogiri hcs

i just have a lot of kurogiri thoughts....

- in canon mostly because i really like the theory that he's an ex-ua student who used to be friendly with aizawa and yamada before his quirk pretty much failed him during a battle and instilled the thought of "never let someone chase an unachievable dream" in aizawa afterwards. he was in a vulnerable position during that time and afo, who seems to watch the ua tournaments and realized kurogiri's quirk had the potential to be incredibly useful to his organization, swooped in similar to how it was with shigaraki and with careful manipulation pretty much became in kurogiri's eyes his savior who helped him realize how horrible the hero society is and gave him a second chance at redemption via villainy. because of this he feels a strong sense of debt towards afo 

- since he hasnt seen what an ass afo is yet he'd do almost anything afo would ask of him without question.

- to add onto the above of being an ex-ua student thats also one of the reasons he constantly has his mist on. i personally believe he does have a normal human form underneath going off how 1-a pinned him down during the ua rescue center scene. having his mist contantly at the ready helps be more prepared for all the sudden unexpected situations villains can fall into as well as disguise him from both media attention and anyone who might recognize him (old friends-) given the fact he's considered legally dead.

- the only people aware of his well. origin story is afo and some of his trusted higher ups who assisted in readjusting kurogiri to their group and pushing him to further his quirk abilities to do what he can do now

- kurogiri never really thought of telling shigiraki about since to him that backstory doesn't matter as much as helping him grow as afo's heir and as kurogiri's adopted son

- the reason kurogiri got into bartending was because when he first joined and he and afo were trying to figure out when he;d fit best kurogiri just sort of realize afo tends to drink A Lot. with all his quirks, its hard for afo to be killed by more normal means like alcohol poisoning and some of them had the side effect of needing a Shit Ton before afo could really get drunk

- so kurogiri just ended up helping fix afo's drinks and over time it morphed into learning how to bartend

- his loyalty to afo s pretty much the only reason kurogiri originally started taking care of shigaraki. afo knew how loyal and steadfast to him and took advantage of it to give him the job of raising/babysitting shigaraki. tbh i don't think kurogiri was fond of shigaraki since the beginning and probably acted more like a butler/robotic towards him at first before the unrelenting Parental Instincts tm kicked in one day after almost a year of looking after him and suddenly realized "oh fuck this is my son"

- during the year of lowkey awkward parenting he was internally having a crisis since in my mind he never really ever thought of having kids during his time as a hero in training so suddenly having the responsibilty of looking after one you know nothing about and is already pretty grown vs wanting to please afo who trusted him enough with the task made him p conflicted during the time

- thankfully(?) afo was the most active in shigarakis life during the beginning years so kurogiri didn't have to have his crisis while being a single dad as well. as shigaraki got older afo just started to withdraw more when he thought shigaraki and kurogiri were getting along well enough and weren't about to fight/betray him any time soon

- if the lov ever decided to break their assosiation with afo, kurogiri would likely still go with lov to make sure shigaraki and crew stay safe and that none of them get too hurt. despite that, he'd still retain quiet loyalty to afo due to his blind faith in him and would probably keep him updated if asked, thinking of it as a "father knows best situation"

- for the lov to be able to have his Total Loyalty, really the only person who could sway him would be shigaraki himself. as much as he feels like he has a debt to afo, shigaraki has pretty much become his own son in kurogiri's eyes (which he likely wouldnt outright admit-) and anything he'd tell him about afo would pretty much be the only stories kurogiri couldn't bring himself to cast doubt onto

- honestly in general shigiraki is pretty much the only one besides afo that he's willing to listen and consider anything he says. everyone else he might listen to but internally there's a possibility hes not really listening depending on the topic. like above, sometimes he thinks he just knows better though he is willing to admit whenever he's wrong

- mild projecting but besides shigaraki his favorite that he won't outright say is his favorite is toga. besides yknow the murdering which tbh doesn;t really bother him, he pretty much sees her as a a+ daughter and is just "lmao your lost" at her family. the only thing he doesn't like about her is when she goes out of her way to aggravate shigaraki or when she starts killing people suddenly and it throws off lov's plan

- he takes great pride in looking nice and presentable and while he might be willing to wear more casual clothes in his rare free time, he refuses to wear clothes like those free tshirts you get at events or his pjs outside his room.

- lowkey passive agressive about s o m e people not wearing socks t o m u r a. or not wearing long enough pants like arent your fucking ankles cold?

- kurogiri does also enjoy being a gentleman to go along with his professional aesthetic since like. just cause youre a villain doesnt mean you gotta be a dick yknow? too many heroes do that anyways (@ endeavor then perish)

- can swear but unable to around children 

- (shigaraki once heard him say fuck when he thought he was alone and its haunted them both ever since. neither of them talk about it)

- he's a villain so like. he doesnt feel bad about killing people or watching them get killed. he was literally willing to murder 13, all might, and 1-a and only didn't because renforments arrived. during their first meeting with toga and dabi, his concern was less about shigaraki killing someone but the concept of shigaraki killing someone who could be useful to their cause. if shigaraki had weighed the options and told kurogiri "yeah im gonna kill them theyre useless", kurogiri wouldnt have seen anything wrong with not stepping in again when shigaraki does so. 

- the only people he would feel bad for killing would be very young children since they remind him too much of how shigaraki used to be. parents of said children have a 50/50 chance depending on how they act

- kurogiri does try to let shigaraki be a grownup tm since hes like. 21 and make his own decisions but he really does have a habit of babying him since hes seen all the stupid shit hes done and said since he was like 5-6 and it all flashes in front of his eys sometimes

- for all the members who Can drink legally hes memorized their usual drinks by now. some of them (magne, twice, spinner-) probably use this to look cooler to recruits but everyone else Knows

- purposely says things like “the pokemens" in front of the younger members to set their fight or flight reflexes off

- video games are basically the only thing he really keeps up to date with pop culture wise tbh. whenever someone pulls him into playing one with them, he just acts like an old man who doesnt understand how to use controllers and lets them win to be nice. if he wanted he Could Destroy Them

- kurogiri doesn't dad anyone who doesn't want a dad figure showing up. he'll still do things like make sure they're being as safe as a villain can be and act as a mediator but otherwise they won't get much witness much dading unless its directed towards someone else

[fatrainbowmermaidunicorn]

If You Ever Come Back (Yoongi x You ONESHOT)

A/N: Yes, yes I most definitely know who you are MRS MIN YOONGI! ahahaha. I dont know if this is up to your expectations but I hope you like it <3

and requests are still open guys <33

MASTERLIST

f you're standing with your suitcase But you can't step on the train Everything's the way that you left it I still haven't slept yet

"Y/N!"

She turned around to see Min Yoongi running towards her, stopping only a few feet away. His clothes and hair disheveled, maybe from running all the way to the train station. Y/N has been standing at the platform for quite sometime now, tears running down her beautiful face, hand holding the handle of her luggage tight, her mind contemplating her next move.

She dont know if she can do this.

If she can leave him.

If she will be able to live without him.

Without Min Yoongi, her first love, the love of her life.

"Y/N, please... dont go," the wind bring his soft voice to her ears, his sad eyes looking straight at her. "Please, just... just come back to me,"

Y/N kept quiet, not knowing what to say other than staring at his beautiful face. Memorizing every inch of it as if its the last time she will be able to do so. It would most probably be the last time and the thought make her heart hurt.

"Come back Y/N. Dont leave. Dont leave me. Lets just go home," he pleaded. Y/N almost nodded at his plea. Almost gives up everything and ran back into his arms, there nothing more that she wants other than to just hold him tight. "Just come back baby. Everything is still the same. We will forget everything, it will be just like you were never gone,"

She raised her eyes from roaming all over his face to stare deep into his eyes. His last words pushing her feet to finally make the decision that she had been contemplating about for hours.

"Everything is still the same,"

"That's exactly why I have to leave Yoongi. Because everything is still the same. You will always be the same. We will always be the same... And I... I cant do that anymore," she whispered between the tears that starts to fall even faster down her cheeks and turn around to board the train that just arrived in time, as if knowing how much she needs her escape right now.

Still setting two plates on the counter but eating without you I'm sleeping on your side of the bed Goin' out of my head now

Yoongi tossed his keys on the side table, his whole mind and body tired and exhausted from what just happened. Y/N's tear strained face as she said her goodbye and board the train, her last words, everything is tattooed clearly in his mind.

He had make it his mission to bring Y/N back with him when he stepped out from the house to chase after her esrlier. But why is he alone in the dark house that still smells like her right now? Feeling weak and defeated?

Yoongi slowly peeled himself off the sofa and tried to make something edible enough for him in the kitchen, hoping food would help to distract him, but it was hard. Everywhere he look, all he can see is Y/N's shadows haunting him, taunting him. He moved towards the cupboards to take out a plate but stopped immediately as a rish of memories took over.

"Yoongi, stop. Im going to drop these plates if you keep doing that!" Y/N squeal as Yoongi hug her from behind while she is reaching for the top shelves.

"Then drop the plates and give me a kiss instead," he pouted and turned her around to face him.

"You are so clingy sugarplum. You are really soft arent you? Not as bad ass as people thought you are," she giggled as she pecks his nose.

"Im only soft for you baby," he nuzzled her neck. "And I hate how you always calls me sugarplum. I'm a bad boy remember? You are really ruining my image here baby,"

"No matter what you say, you will always be my sugarplum. And I love my sugarplum so very much," she giggled again before Yoongi cupped her chin in his grip and leaned in to kiss her deeply.

Yoongi shakes his head, making the memory dissappear and urgently wipe his tears that is trickling down his cheeks without his permission. He silently swears to himself that if he ever get to hold her in that way again, she can call him anything she wants and he will gladly answer to it. Anything as long as she came back to him again.

He sighed and start to set the table, finally sitting down to eat whatever he managed to muster in his dazed mind when he realized he had prepared the table for two oit of habit. His eyes drift to the empty plate and empty chair opposite from him, knowing that it wont ever be occupied again with someone that he really wants and he suddenly lost all his appetite.

He shoved his food away and dragged his feet to his bedroom, throwing himself on the bed. The once crowded bed suddenly feel too empty, too cold without Y/N there. He looks up into the ceiling and blinks back the tears that has threathen to fall as her scent that is still left on the pillows filling his nostril.

"Roll over sugarplum! Stop sleeping on my side of the bed you hogger," she playfully nudged him away but Yoongi pulled her by the waist instead, making her fall on top of him.

"I told you we can both fit on this side of the bed," he grins and lift his head to give her a quick peck. "I love you Y/N... I really do," his eyes looks softly at hers, showing all the affection he have for her. Affection that he never felt for anyone else.

"And I love you too Min Yoongi," she kissed him back. "But I love my side of the bed more!" She giggled once she broke the kiss and pushed him away, catching him off guard.

Yoongi nuzzled his face into her pillow, stopping the tears from falling once again, hoping to feel her warmth from the cold unattended pillows.

"Im sleeping on your side of the bed Y/N. Do you hear me? So you have to come back home now and kick my ass for that..." he mumbles softly. "Just please... come back Y/N. I miss you so much... too much,"

If the truth is you're a liar Then just say that you're okay And if you're covering your face now But you just can't hide the pain

"Hey... its okay. Just cry. Just let it out. You need to let it out Y/N," Jin Hee looks at her friend who is solemnly staring outside the cafe glass window, her eyes glassy but no tears are coming out.

Y/N and Yoongi has been together for years, been together for as long as Jin Hee could even remember. They are in love and happy but things started to go south when Yoongi starts to get more recognition and getting busier. Y/N can understand his busy schedule, not being able to see her as often as before. She even understands that he spend most of his free time in his studio instead of with her, leaving her alone at home, missing him and yearning for him. She's fine with everything. Its the price to pay for being in love with someone as talented and obligated to his work like Min Yoongi.

But what she couldnt understand is how Yoongi would let out his anger on her. Acting cold towards her whenever he hit a road block on his music writing or when something happened to one of his songs. Yoongi would come back on the rare days that he would actually be home being all angry and screaming at her, slamming the bedroom door shut in her face. She understands it all. Music is his life and its hard for him when he is faced with pressure and datelines, sometimes even being short on ideas, but cant he rely on her for comfort instead of turning her into his anger punching bag?

Countless nights were spend crying on the living room couch only to be woken up inside Yoongi's warm embrace, giving butterfly kisses all over her face as he repeats his sorry a million times. Y/N loves him. She really do. But how long can she take it? How long will she be able to stand being second to his music?

"I'm okay Jin Hee," was Y/N short reply. Jin Hee shakes her head and gave her a sad smile.

"You are not okay Y/N. And you are also a very bad liar," she chuckle. "I know its hard. I know you miss him. You miss Yoongi dont you?"

Y/N turned her face to look at her friend, trying hard not to show the pain she's feeling but knowing she fails anyway. Jin Hee knows her too well.

"I..."

"Stop trying to hide it. You are in pain. You and Yoongi are meant to be. Are you sure leaving him is really the best way?"

"I dont know what else to do. Things will never change Jin Hee. Even if I go back to him... wouldnt things would still be the same? Wouldnt I be hurt again and again?" She sighed, remembering their endless fights and tears, but also all the good times filled with kisses and hugs they shared.

"I dont know Y/N. But what you had with Yoongi... I feel like its too special for you to just throw it away. Just... think about it, okay?" Jin Hee gave her one sad smile before standing up to attend to some of the customer who just came in.

Y/N played with her hands as she stare out the window again, looking at the happy couple walking and laughing together. She miss Yoongi. Its only been two days but she miss him like crazy. It kills her to be apart from him. To not be talking to him at all.

No matter what had happened in their relationship, the fights, the pain and the hurt, she still loves Yoongi.

She loves Min Yoongi.

And just like he knows exactly what she is thinking at this exact moment, her phone rings, flashing his name bright and clear on the screen

Min Sugarplum ♡♡

And I wish you could give me the cold shoulder And I wish you can still give me a hard time And I wish I could still wish it was over But even if wishing is a waste of time Even if I never cross your mind

Yoongi woke up sweating like crazy, his breathing short and ragged from the nightmare he just had. He dreamt that Y/N left him for good. He turndto the other side of the bed, hands reaching out, expecting for her warm touch and easy smile telling him its all just a dream but reality hits him hard when all he felt is the cold untouched sheets on her side of the bed.

He was not dreaming at all. It really happened.

Y/N left him.

She finally gives up on them. She finally had enough of the bullshit from him, the shitty way he treats her and left.

And she's not coming back.

Yoongi blinked as he stares at the ceiling, the chilly morning air sending shivers to his skin. He remembers later through their relationship, the days when Y/N would just ignore him after he came back exhausted from camping out at the studio for five straight days. Yoongi understands she's mad at him for shutting her out everytime he's working. He should apologized the moment he walked into the apartment but he's too tired, too oblivious, too exhausted to care, and he just shrugged off her cold shoulder and make his way to the bedroom, giving his tired body its well deserve rest. He had hoped for her warm smile and embraced to heal his tired mind but he should have known better. He dont deserve that after leaving her high and dry for days with no calls or texts.

If only he knows then what he knows now. If only he knows then that Y/N was never petty. She would never hate him for being so passionate for his music. If only he knew then that he had missed her birthday that night. The one he promised to celebrate together. The one Y/N has dressed up for and waited for him for hours. Him always rejecting her calls all night when she tried to reach him.

If only he knew.

If only he knew then that he should have just said sorry and Y/N would have happily accepted his apology and ran back into his arms, wanting nothing more than to spend what little left of her birthday with him than fight.

But he didnt know. And he didnt bother to know.

So he slept on the empty bed alone as Y/N cried herself to sleep on the couch that night.

He also  remembers when Y/N starts to be difficult, giving him a hard time. Always complaining how he never make time for her anymore. Instead of talking it out with her, he chose to spend the whole month in the dorm and studio, again leaving her with no explanation.

If only he realized then that the only reason Y/N would even start complaining is because he didnt even spare her a minute in a week. He always left early and came back late and she didnt even get a chance to even catch a glance of his face.

If only he knew then that with just one quick hi from him between his busy schedule would return back the smile on her face, he would have done it without a doubt.

But he didnt know.

So their fight just got bigger and bigger, Yoongi, trying to a ood the fights and confrontations keeps spending more time in his studio rather than at home and tears just wont stop leaving Y/N's face in this point of their relationship anymore.

If only he knew.

He remembers sometimes during their relationship that he wishes it was over. That he was never involved in a relationship in the first place. Then he would be free to work on his music without thinking about anything else. Without the guilt, the pressure and the fights.

But then he remembers the moment Y/N told him she has given up on them, that she's leaving. He remembers when she said, with tears running down her face, that Yoongi is free from her now. Free to do his music without her as a distraction. Her face when she is walking out the door with some of her things, only the things that she could get her hands on in order to get away from him as fast as she could.

And suddenly he yearns for the cold shoulder Y/N used to give her when they fight, the hard time she gave him when he had a new project coming up, whining and demanding for his attention. He finds himself yearning for the times he is still able to wish that he was not in a realtionshiop, to be able to wish that his relationship was over.

Because at least then, it means that Y/N is still here with him.

Because it means that Y/N is still his.

No matter how he thinks about it, he decides that he would go through the bad times again and again as long as he knows that by the end of the day, he still can call Y/N his.

With new found courage and determination to get back what's his, he finally picks up the phone and dial the number he remembers by heart.

And if you're out there tryna move on But something pulls you back again I'm sitting here tryna persuade you like you're in the same room

"Yo...Yoongi?"

"Y/N..."

Silence enveloped the conversation, no sound were heard from both lines.

"I... I miss you," Yoongi breath out, making Y/N gasps. She is trying her best to move on from him. To start anew, to start living in a world without him. But hearing his voice again kills her.

Hearing him say he misses her... it just breaks all resolve she had work hard to build for the past days.

"Yoongi...please. Don't do this,"

"No, Y/N.  Its me who cant do this. I cant do this. I thought I can. I thought I can give you what you wanted. A happier life without me. I thought I will make it without you. I'll be fine without you. But I cant," he sobbed through the phone. After all the times he tried to held it in, his emotions finally broke loose. People who knows him knows he is a man of little words, he is not a man who show his emotions to anyone. He seldom cry or get angry. He minds his own business, avoiding any drama surrounding him. He lets out his emotions only on lyric papers, in a beat somewhere late in his studio. But this time, this time even his songs cant save him. He needs the love of his life to hear him. To understand the pain he's feeling right at this moment.

He's crying.

He's begging.

For the love of his life to just come back to him.

"Y/N..." he chokes out. "Please... please come back to me,"

"Dont do this. Please dont. We had so many chances to fix our relationship Yoongi. We tried everything, but nothing works. We dont work..." she sobbed.

"No. No Y/N. Dont say that. I love you. I love you Y/N. And I know you still love me too. Dont you Y/N?"

"Yoongi..." Y/N can only say his name. There is no way she can deny what he's saying. Even a blind man can see how much she still loves him.

"Love is enough baby. I promise you we will work things out. Because we love each other. Please Y/N. Give us this one last chance. Come back. Come back to me and we will work it out,"

"I cant Yoongi. I'm tired. Im tired of fighting for something that will never work. I'm... I'm sorry,"

And the line went dead.

If it's the fighting you remember or the little things you miss I know you're out there somewhere so just remember this

Ever since that phone call, Yoongi has been relentless, bombarding Y/N's phone with non stop phone calls and text messages, ranging from casual hi's and desperate begging.

Y/N tried her best but her love for Yoongi makes her heart beats faster whenever his name appeared on her phone. It also breaks her heart when she heard him begging and sobbing. The Min Yoongi that she knew was never this weak. No one was able to make him cry or even worse beg. Did she hurt him this much? It didnt sit well with her to know that she is the cause of his pain. She thought leaving will only make it easier for the both of them.

Not being able to take it anymore, Y/N takes a deep breath to find some courage for herself and slide her phone, finally picking up his calls after his millionth time trying.

"Y/N. You finally answered me!" Yoongi's sound happy, relieved and sad at the same time.

"Stop calling me Yoongi! Please,"

"I cant do that Y/N. I wont do that," he said full of determination in his voice.

"Yoongi please. There is nothing for us to talk about. There is nothing left in our relationship to salvage Yoongi!" Y/N is frustrated. She still loves him and is desperately trying to forget him, but his constant phone calls is not helping her even a bit. "All we do is fight Yoongi. We dont even have time for each other..." her voice turned sad at the memory.

"You still remember Y/N. That means something,"

"What? What are you talking about Yoongi. Stop saying nonsense,"

"Even if its just the fights that you remember, it still means you remember us Y/N. Every moment spend with you, good and bad, everything is worth remembering, both wonderful because I'm with you. And I know you feel the same way Y/N,"

"Yoongi. Stop. I-"

"No. Listen to me," he plead. "Even if its just the fights that you remembered. Or the little things like me always hogging your tv and never putting the toilet seat down," he heard her chuckle between sobs, "its just means that you still remember us Y/N."

Yoongi kept quiet for a moment, only the light sound of breath can be heard from both sides.

"I dont know where you are Y/N. But I swear that I will find you again. Things will change this time. I will change. We will make it work no matter what. We love each other and nothing is going to beat that,"

"Yoongi... love alone wont be enough,"

"Yes it is baby. Dont you ever wonder why you still remembers everything we had together? Doesnt bad the good or the bad? Why you still bother to even pick up my phone calls if you hate me so much?" Yoongi smirked.

"Its because you love me Y/N. And your love will bring you back to me someday,"

I'll leave the door on the latch If you ever come back, if you ever come back There'll be a light in the hall and the key under the mat If you ever come back There'll be a smile on my face and the kettle on And it will be just like you were never gone

Another one of his endless phone calls and another one of his begging which Y/N is listening too with tears in her eyes.

"I will wait for you Y/N. I know you still love me. I know you do," his voice defeated, barely above a whisper but he feels the need to convince her one last time. "What we have is real. We will fix everything. We will. So I will wait for you to come back,"

"Yoongi. Dont do-"

"No. I will wait. I will leave the hall light open for you. Just the way you like it. Your book is still on the coffee table, I never touched it because you dont like when I do that. Your flowers by the window are still blooming because I watered them everyday. I know how upset you will be if they died. Your clothes are still in the closet. And our room... our room still smell like you Y/N. I didnt sleep on your side of the bed. Okay maybe once but that's only because I missed you too much. But everything is just waiting for you to come back Y/N," he rambled on like a mad man, not giving a chance for Y/N to cut him off.

"Everything is still the same. Everything is just like you are still here. So come back. Come back to me. I'll be here waiting for you, smiling when you open the door. We dont even have to talk about this. We can just pretend like you never left. Just as long as you come back. Okay baby?"

"Yoongi..." Y/N whispered his name, he can hear the sobbing on the other line, harder than any other days and he felt his heart clenched. Something is not right. He feels like he is losing her all over again.

"Its not going to happen Yoongi  I wont come back. I do love you. I love you so much Min Yoongi, but dont wait up for me. Because I wont ever come back to you. I'm... I'm so sorry,"

"Y/N..."

She has already hung up the phone.

Now they say I'm wasting my time 'Cause you're never comin' home But they used to say the world was flat But how wrong was that now?

"Its been a month since your last phone call Yoongs. How long are you going to mope around?" Hoseok looks at his friend worriedly.

"Why dont you come back and stay at the dorm with us? I miss my roommate," Jin tried to persuade the moping Yoongi back. Truth is, they are worried. They knew the break up has left a big impact on him but he didnt seem this... weak before. Yoongi even look a little cheerful the past weeks and suddenly bam, he turned into a living zombie.

"No. I have to be here. She might come home," he shakes his head and slumped back on the couch, covering himself with the blanket.

"Yoongs... its been months. I dont thinks she's coming,"

"She will hyung. I just know it. We have been talking for the past weeks..." his voice trailed off, sadness suddenly engulfing him. So Yoongi and Y/N has been talking. Is that why he seems happier the past weeks? But what happened suddenly to turned him into this breathing lump of a man? Jin thought to himself as he observed the man wrapped in a blanket burrito in front of him.

"You two talked? Thats great! Then what happened?" Jin carefully tried to dig deeper into what could actually happened.

"She said she wont ever come back to me...," Yoongi's soft voice muffled by the blanket but loud enough for the two to hear, making them exchanged looks. "I know she said that a million times, but there's something different in her voice this time... and I think... I think Y/N really mean it," he peeks from the blanket and the two males can see how glossy his eyes are from unshed tears.

"Oh Yoongs..." Hoseok immediately lurged forward and gave him a tight hug. Jin stood up and sat on the other end of the couch, his hands patting Yoongi's legs.

"Then... why dont you come with us? Maybe just for a little while? The other boys miss you too you know. We dont want you to be sad alone Yoongi. Y/N might never come back for real," the eldest man whispered carefully, hoping it wont trigger Yoongi into extreme rage. He knows his words hurt but someone has to tell the truth to this hear broken man.

Yoongi only weakly shakes his head as a sign of rejecting the offer. "As good as that sounds hyung, no. I will stay here. This is our home. She will come back. Later if not sooner. And I need to be here when she does,"

"Yoongi..." Jin sighed.

"Im sure of it,"

"What if you are wrong? How long are you going to torture yourself like this?"

"But what if you two are the one who are wrong and she did come back to see that I didnt wait for her? You might say that Y/N wont come back, but people also used to say that the earth is flat and ended up wrong anyway. So who's to know which one of us is wrong or right?"

Both Jin and Hoseok sighed. There is no point in talking some sense into Yoongi right now. There is nothing they can do other than wait and hope that he will get a grip of reality.

"Okay Yoongi. If that's what you want then, we wont force you,"

"But one of us will come often to check on you okay?" Hoseok flashed him a worried look.

"Yeah. Whatever," was the only mumble they heard before Yoongi pulls the blanket to cover his face again.

But even if wishing is a waste of time Even if I never cross your mind

Yoongi crumpled another piece of paper and threw it to the corner of the living room, making it join the stack of paper that shared the same fate.

He tried his best to get over her. To not think about her. Its been more than a month now. Maybe she really isnt coming back. Maybe waiting and hoping is really just a waste of time and another way to hurt his already broken heart. Maybe Y/N has really move on and didnt even think about him at all. He tried to pour all his emotions in a new song but nothing seems to work. Everything he wrote doesnt seem to work. He kept crumpling paper after paper in frustration and finally giving up and lay flat on the cold floor.

I miss you Y/N. What are you doing right now? Are you happy? Did you find somebody new already? Someone who loves you right?

A soft knock reached his ears and he groaned out. True to their promisse, one of the boys would come everyday to check on his condition. Mostly trying to see if he is still breathing or not. But Yoongi usually doesnt mind since they will bring him food and gives him some company.

But not today.

Today he just wants to be alone and mope. He wants to be alone and think about his stupid mistakes. To think about the ways he could have fix his relationship before everything gone down to shit.

Today he just wants to sit and think about Y/N.

"Go away," Yoongi yelled half heartedly towards the continuous knocking on the door. He is drained of all energy as he laid down flat on the cold living room floor. But the soft knocking still continues, making him extremely annoyed now.

"Go away Hobi. I know its you. I'm fine. I'm still alive okay! I dont wanna see you. I dont wanna see anybody today. Can you jist leave me alone? Whoever you are?!" he yelled again with all the strength he has left, thinking it might be one of the other boys and not Hoseok who came today, but the knocking still wont stop. With trails of dry tears all over his face, swollen eyes and disheveled hair, he peels himself off the cold floor and make the short distance to the door.

With an angry forced he swing open the door, ready to bite off whoever's head that is standing there.

"Hobi, I said-" Yoongi stop midtrack as he stares at the tear strained face looking back at him. Tears are rolling down her cheeks but a smile still graced her lips as her body shakes to control her cries. This is definitely not his smiling best friend.

Yoongi blinked, hoping he is not dreaming as the beautiful face that he has been imagining in his dreams all these months stares back at him with wide eyes.

"I-"

"Hi... sugarplum. You were right... Your love... it brought me back to you,"

And it will be just like you were never gone

[dong-hyucks]

Dating Luhan Would Include...

Admin: Jade Masterlists

ye im trying to get this stuff out asap

sleep? idk her also just a warning it took 2k+ to get to the actual dating part so be prepared for a lengthy one

okay so basically, you got a job as one of lu’s personal stylists

you were the only child of one of his managers which helped you get the job

but the other stylists didn’t like that

they thought you just got the job solely bc of your parent

which was wrong-- you had loads of experience with styling of all kinds

the other stylists, bitter, would either ignore you or ‘tease’ you

a lot

though, they’d make sure to not do it in front of your dad

and they tried with lu, but he ended up catching them

considering he sees you all every day

and the fact that he isn’t cold hearted

lu really didn’t like that

but every time he would confront them about it, they’d deny his accusations and act innocent

after like a month of this happening

lu, and you respectively, had enough

though, you’ve had enough the moment they started

anywhoodle

lu legitimately had them fired

all five of them

aka

his entire stylist crew (besides you)

when you came to work and were told ‘oh hey, the other stylists don’t work here anymore, you’re going to be on your own for a few days.’

you had no idea how to react

and lu could tell because he started chuckling while you were doing his hair

“is something funny?”

“your continuous confused look”

“hUh”

then he told you that the other stylists were fired

which you already knew

but when you asked why, he fibbed a bit

said ‘they weren’t doing their jobs properly’

when in reality they were all relatively good stylists

so you knew he was lying right away

that and because the tips of his ears turned red

you didn’t want to say anything

just in case you got fired too lmao

for the next few days, you were lu’s only stylist

it was okay generally, but when he had a major appearance onstage it was a bit of a hassle

that happened like five days after the rest were fired

at that point, you and lu had begun talking more than before

while you styled him, you’d talk about whatever topic that came to mind

to anyone else, it looked like you guys had been friends for years

when in reality you had only known each other for little over a month

bAcK to The StORy

he was scheduled to have a stage performance at 12:00

it was 11:55

and he wAsNt reADy

so you were freaking out, rushing around trying to get your makeup pallets and hair gel, etc.

luckily he was already changed so you didn’t have to worry about that

but his face and hair was bare (not that it matters he’s a viSuAL--)

he was so amused, watching you scramble about

despite his amusement, he was extra sure to be helpful to you, seeing how stressed you were

he stayed completely still and tilted his head when you asked

when he’d usually mess with you for a bit before complying

now he was just listening in silence, knowing you were not in the mood for a conversation

after you had messed around with his hair using the gel and his makeup was done

you went to fix his outfit

you kept your eyes down as you inspected lu’s clothes

your hands would reach out every now and them to make small touch ups or to smooth over the fabric

your parent / lu’s manager was yelling out the time left, which was two minutes

so you worked faster

once you were done, you stepped back to admire your work aNd make sure everything was in place

in the midst of your work, you didn’t notice the lopsided grin he wore

which hugely complimented the clothes you had chosen for him

he honestly thought it was cute, seeing you so engaged in your work

“time to go!” his manager/your parent called out, ushering lu away from you

after his performance, lu couldn't find you

which was odd, since he usually met with you afterwards

when he asked his manager where you went, they snickered

but told him anyway“[Y/N] went outside for a bit-- got a call from their friend.”

lu nodded and stayed put, not wanting to pry in on your conversation

tho, when fifteen minutes passed he was b o r e d

so he decided, why not, and went out to find you

it didn't take long before he could hear you

making his way outside, lu poked his head out the door

he could see you, leaning against a brick wall with your phone to your ear

you were smiling so widely as you spoke

lu was kind of just wide eyed

a part of him wanted to stay outside to see why you were smiling like that

but the other part of him knew that that’d be invading your privacy so he went back inside

as he walked off, he found himself thinking of that smile of yours

he was so confused as to why he was thinking of it

it was weird

he kind of wanted to be the one to make you smile so brightly

the moment he thought that he literally walked into a wall

which also happened to be the moment you walked in

he met eyes with you, face flushing at the fact that you were laughing

“glad to know my pain is amusing for you.”

“it always is,” you joked, walking passed him, patting his shoulder as you passed

lu followed in silence, face still warm as he walked

while the two of you walked in silence, he noticed you wore a troubled expression

right before you were about to enter the waiting room, he stopped you, gently turning you around

“is something on your mind?”

“what?”

“you’re thinking about something and you’re thinking about it hard. is something up?” he raised a brow

you were blank faced for a moment before you let out a nervous chuckle

“well,,, i was going to wait until i could talk to my-- your manager, bUt,,,” you shrugged hesitantly, “i wanted to ask for time off tomorrow.”

“tomorrow? as in, when i have an important interview?”

you shook your head fervently, correcting yourself. “no, no, i’ll be here to get you ready but i have somewhere i need to be a few hours after it”

lu nodded in understanding before ushering you back in to ask

tHe nExt DaY (smooth transition, i know)

you actually managed to get lu ready long before his interview

so you all had time to kill

lu was playing some game on his phone and you were just cleaning up your supplies

suddenly, you got another call -- this time, a video call

lu found himself looking up as you answered it, a small smile instantly making its way onto your face

lu, being a lil shit, decided it’d be fun to do some random stuff in the bg while you talked with whomever

so, he basically crouched past with some weird expression

“oh. my. gosh. [Y/N] is that...”

“what?”

you turned around and made eye contact with him, just as he was pulling another weird face

there was a silence -- not including the freaking out your friend was doing -- before you burst into laughter

lu, though slightly embarrassed, followed after

“you’re luhan!” your friend gushed, gaining his attention “omL i love you--”

same

lu smiled before kindly making his way off camera to give you and your friend some privacy

at least, he tried to anyway

your friend very ‘subtly’ whispered to you, “[Y/N], please, let me get an autograph oR meet him i bEg Of YoU”

you took one glance at him before hanging up the call

not long after your phone blew up with messages from your friend

‘i’ll try, okay [Friend] chILL’

shoving your phone into your pocket you narrowed your eyes at lu

he thought you were glaring so he clumsily pulled out his phone and attempted to look like he was on it the entire time 

“very subtle, lu.”

“thanks, i try.”

you scrunched up your nose, contemplating on whether or not you’d really try to get some sort of fan service for your friend

without thinking, you blurted out the first thing you could think of

“let’s make a deal.”

lu looked up, intrigued.

meanwhile, you were internally freaking out

because you didn’t even mean to blurt that out

raising a brow almost impatiently, lu looked at you with a small smile indicating his mirth

“let’s go out--” you stopped yourself, wanting to hit your head against a door, “wait -- no, i worded that wrong--”

while you fumbled over yourself, lu leaned back against the sofa, covering his face as he laughed

“i saw an arcade on our way here. whoever wins three games first wins and --”

you didn’t even get to finish before lu interrupted

“okay,” he agreed, leaning back as far as he could, “you have a deal. if i lose, i’ll go with you, meet your friend.” 

he smirked, “but, if i win, you owe me a favour.”

he looked up at you, curiosity shining generously in his dark chocolate hues

a small, contented smile graced his features, blossoming over his cheeks like a carnation in its peak -- beautiful in all its glory

you blinked, thinking over his proposition

with a sigh, you held out your hand

“deal.”

within the hour, your parent was driving you guys to the arcade, clearly amused at your ‘bet’

“wear these,” they said, pointing to the pile of masks and caps on the middle console that they had handy just in case, “even in a dark arcade, someone could recognize you and those people will assume things.”

you were basically clinging to the car door, shocked that you were about to mess around in an arcade with lu han

when you arrived, you wobbled out of the vehicle, fully equipped with a mask and a cap even tho you arent at all famous and no one would know who you are

lu was in similar attire

“let’s go over here,” lu suggested, pulling you by the wrist once you entered the arcade

your face and body in general got really warm, your eyes trained on his hand

he was completely oblivious to your internal freaking out, his eyes facing forward

when he stopped walking, you were in front of a giant set up

“it’s like a racing / snowboarding simulator,” lu explained, stepping onto the platform “whoever gets to the bottom first wins.”

you nodded, stepping onto the platform opposite of him

it was snowboarding, how hard could it be?

you were very wrong

lu beat you in a mere two minutes, when the average time was at least five minutes

“i play this sometimes with my friends,” lu explained with a cocky grin not that you could see it

you narrowed your eyes, “you’re playing dirty,” you accused, though you weren’t really annoyed.

without a word, you hopped off the platform and took lu’s hand, just as he had with you, and pulled him in a random direction

oh, how the tables have turned

now you were unaware of the flustered expression lu wore

you brought him to a shooting game, one you had played a few times before with your cousins and friends

while you were playing, lu kept sneaking glances at you, which distracted him from actually shooting anything

he thought it was cute, how excited and into the game you were

like ten minutes later, you were victorious

lu just accepted it, because there was no way on earth in which he’d admit that he lost because he thought you were acting cute

since we’ve reached the 2k mark, imma be really blunt until the actual dating part

oops

basically you spent the next hour playing a bunch of games

and, whoopdido, he won three games before you

you were kind of bummed out bc you could tell your friend seriously wanted to meet him

but, a deal was a deal so you took it

“before we go,” lu randomly began, “let’s go to the claw machines.”

a part of you got super excited bc you haven’t used a claw machine in forever

when you got there, your eyes landed on a vv cute plush

tho, tbh, you absolutely sucked at the claw machine

lu noticed right away which plush caught your attention and inserted a coin into it

you watched in aWe as he got it first try

wow what a god

“here,” he practically threw the thing in your face

“let’s go,” he said, not even waiting for you to catch the plush

you bounded after him, looking down at your watch

“what time are you meeting your friend?” he asked, watching traffic pass by

“in an hour or so.”

“then, let’s go get some dinner before then.”

you didn’t say anything and merely followed as he brought you to some lowkey café (i have an addiction to adding cafés into my bulleted stuff)

at this point i got distracted by everyong for like half an hour oops

by the time you were sat down in an almost empty café

there was like 45 min until you were going to meet up with your friend

you spent like five whole minutes trying to figure out how you were going to say ‘oops couldn’t get anything from lu han for you lol’

when you looked up, you noticed lu was just looking at you, resting his chin on his palm

“what’re you staring at?”

“you.”

no shit bro

you rolled your eyes, looking down at the small menu the café had out on every table

“you’re interesting.”

i beg your pardon, you thought

“usually, people are practically dying in my presence. you’re quite calm though,” he tilted his head. “you know, i think i like you.”

luckily, you weren’t drinking anything, because if you were you would’ve done a spit take

“w h a t ?”

lu merely smiled before asking what you wanted, as if he hadn’t just told you that he likes you

you just spat out the first thing you saw, which happened to be a carrot cake or smth

if you dont like carrot cake feel free to subsitute

you ate in silence both kind of unsure of what to say

you were still speechless over lu’s sudden confession

and lu was beating himself up for being so blunt

when you finished, lu was back to looking at you

you subtly wiped at your face, just in case you had somehow gotten food all over it

“do you really?” you asked, deciding that the situation couldn’t go that downhill. “like me, i mean.”

“... yeah.”

“okay.”

you almost choked -- who says ‘okay’ in this situation?

lu, on the other hand, was chuckling. “’okay’” he teased

you stuck your tongue out, leaning back in your chair

there was a pregnant pause before lu cleared his throat

“honestly, what -- what are your feelings for me? other than ‘okay,’“

you stared down at the table, biting your lip as you glued together words

“i-- i like you too, lu.”

in the back the cashier was lowkey eavesdropping

lu’s face broke into a smile, as he looked down to hide his growing grin

“that’s good.”

he looked down at his watch, standing up “then, let’s go.”

“what?”

“your friend wanted to meet me right? so, let’s go.”

“but,,,, i lost our bet.” // “you did, so you owe me a favour.” he grinned back at you, “but, i’m going to be a nice boyfriend and go with you anyway.”

“boyfriend?!”

lu merely laughed, grabbing your wrist for the umpteenth time and hauling you out of the café

somewhere along the way, you found yourself shifting your hand and interlacing your fingers with his -- a silent confirmation.

wOw that only took 2.7k to get to the legit point of this post

smh me

so, dates with lu don’t come often, but when they do they’re amazing

he’s always making sure that you’re comfortable, so they’re usually not in public places just in case ppl recognize him

the last thing he’d want was for you to get mobbed by fans

a lot of your dates are late at night, whether they be walks, dinner at your/his house, movie nights, etc.

he’s so sweet too

like he’s very open with his feelings for you (not completely, the world has no idea of your relationship yet)

any of your coworkers can tell that you’re dating

but no one says anything bc they know that they could get fired if lu so pleased

he wouldnt tho, unless given reason

anyway

the few times that your dates are public

lu will do the weirdest things to make sure you don’t get recognized/seen

if he spots anyone with a camera he straight up kisses your cheek

which works bc the person usually turns away

generally

he’s just so sweet during your dates

and otherwise, ofc

but he’s also still lu, playful and such

snowball fights in the winter are a regular thing

moving on

kissing

honhonhon i regret

your first kiss with lu was spontaneous

you were at the arcade again, on one of your late night dates

a few other people were in the arcade, but not near you guys

you were playing the shooting game again, something that became tradition for the two of you and--

“hey, [Y/N]?”

“yeah?”

you took one look at him and suddenly his lips were on yours in a soft, gentle kiss

your hands froze on the plastic trigger, your eyes wide

before you could even do anything, lu pulled away with mirth shining in his eyes

“i won.”

you whipped your head toward the screen, and lo and behold, the infamous ‘YOU DIED’ screen was showing

“lu,,, you little shit”

“you love me”

“sadly”

kisses with lu, in general, have like three settings

the first being quick pecks, when the two of you are in a rush

whenever he has to go onstage, he’s sure to give you a quick kiss, whether it be on the lips, cheeks, forehead, etc.

he really likes kissing you

the second are slow and sentimental

these usually happen during your lazier dates

like you could be watching a movie on the couch and suddenly your kissing no further than tHat

he’d be so sweet during these times, his hand automatically cupping your face and his other tracing circles on your hip, leaving trails of goosebumps

the third,,,

oh dear

are a bit rough in a sense

these are rare, but they will happen without warning

usually when he gets jealous or you push his buttons too much

they’re messy kisses, but he puts his all into them and it’s very obvious

i’m blushing now so that’s as far as we’re going w that

MOVING ON

fights with lu don’t come often

he hates fighting with you and vice versa

but sometimes the two of you just get really stressed at end up lashing out at each other

this usually ends in the two of you giving each other the silent treatment

which is so difficult considering you’re one of his stylists

the main one, at that

the other stylists, newly hired, get so awkward whenever you guys fight

because there’s this giant tension between the two of you and none of them know what to do or say

however, you can only ignore each other for so long

it’s very divided between who cracks first

sometimes lu does

sometimes you do

sometimes you both just end up apologizing at the same time

either way, you both talk everything out

and make sure that no stone is left unturned

he’d probably really like honesty in a relationship, so it’d be very important to be open with one another (as it is in every relationship)

these fights end with cuddling, most of the time

in which he brings you as close to his body as possible

and wraps his arm around your waist

he’d love it if you wrap your arms around his torso and play with the ends of his hair

speaking of

if you play with his hair, he is putty in your hands

he even only lets you do his hair professionally

“lu, please, the rest of the stylists--”

“no, only you.”

“you c h i l d istg--”

but you love him

on the topic

your first ‘ily’ came about a month into your relationship

during that time, lu was on tour

and right before a concert, you came down with a seriously bad flu

so you had to stay at the hotel

lu called you before the concert, nervous

“lu, you’ll do great”

“but what if i mess up--”

he was so nervous, despite having done stages so many times in his life

to him, it was odd, not having you there

you had become his rock

he also loved performing knowing you were backstage rooting him on

“lu, hun, you’ll do great. and i know you have to go up now considering it’s two minutes to your stage. i believe in you!”

he was still shaken, but he knew you were right. “alright, bye. make sure to drink your medicine, alright?”

“okay~ i love you, bye.”

you hung up

only then did you realize what you had just said

which lead to you rolling around on your hotel bed, screaming into your pillow

meanwhile, lu was staring into space, his phone still to his ear

had he heard you right?

“lu! you’re up, let’s go.”

he looked over at one of his managers, nodding before putting his phone away

he then did his entire stage with a huge smile on his face

this is almost as long as my regular scenarios

so imma just stop here

anywho, a relationship with lu would be heaven

he’d treat you like royalty, because in his mind you deserve the best

so in all

he would cherish you, and when the time comes, he’d brag about your wonderfulness whenever he could

he really would love you, and hopefully you’d do the same

:)

is it obvious who my ot12!exo bias is this was so close to getting to 4k im

[dustingrayves]

pairing: sormik WC: 1484 rating: T AU: witch hunt au notes: right so this is the beginning of an au i kinda abandoned, but i dont really wanna get rid of it cause it has a few nice lines that im actually proud of,,,, ://

theres an explanation of the au at the bottom -b

The night, with its twinkling stars and lack of any burning lanterns, provides the perfect cover. Slipping in and out of narrow, crooked alleyways, no one would notice a shadow, silent and quick.

A lantern, dark and smelling of hot wax, dangles in his hand, carefully gripped so it makes as little noise as possible. The other hand hugs a gray cloak close, its edges fluttering to and fro as he walks.

Just a little more.

He rounds a corner, and another. Ducks to the side, crosses the street in two calculated steps. Slips into an alley where even his skin shines likes the moon. Winding the cloak ever closer to himself, he raises one gloved hand and taps the leathered knuckles over a wooden door, thrice.

A tiny slit opens between the heavy planks, two eyes looking through it. They regard him, wait until he pulls the hood back enough to expose his face, his shining eyes, and then the slit closes again.

The door opens with a squeak that could be mistaken for a mouse. He wastes no time and slips inside, the tension fading from his shoulders as if on command as the door clicks closed.

"Is it Tuesday yet?" the guard -Edna, tonight- pipes up, but there's no bite to her barking.

"I had to see him," he sighs, turning to look at her. She had already retaken her seat by the door, a single chair propped against its handle, and is now twirling her umbrella. Opening an umbrella inside means bad luck, his mind supplies immediately. The last thing they need is bad luck. He pushes the thoughts that follow back, forcefully. "How is he?"

"Better," Edna says, as if it were that simple. The concern lacing her brow is still evident, however, no matter how hard she tries to cover it with her usual stoic mask. "Better than before."

Leaving Edna to her assigned duty, he twists on a heel and marches up the stairs, steps muffled by the imported carpet. The upstairs is quiet as well, but if he strains his ears, he can hear the hushed sounds of a conversation.

He follows it to the first door on the right.

They changed it again. The bed that used to be in the middle is now pushed to the side, with just a little free space left between it and the wall. Whether that's to keep it from the cold of the nightly bricks or to ease the access of anyone on cooling duty, he isn't sure. The table is pressed next to it, and the free space is now occupied by chairs, arranged around a smaller table. Three chairs, two occupied.

Lailah perks up, expecting Edna, her eyes calming from confused concern to just understanding, and her shoulders relax again.

"Sorey," she says, instead of a welcome. Zaveid nods his way.

"Hey guys," Sorey replies, pushing the hood back. His hair springs free, tousled and wild. The cloak ends up chucked over the backrest of the empty chair. He can’t resist asking, even though Edna already told him, "How is he?"

"Fever went down," Zaveid tells him. Sorey rounds the sitting spot, leans over the bed. His fingers right the snowy hair before pushing it out of the way so he can feel the Seraph's temperature himself. He isn't a physician, and can't tell if this is Mikleo's normal temperature, but it doesn't feel like his insides are on fire anymore. He breathes an unconscious sigh of relief. "He's been like this since last night. With some luck, he'll wake up soon."

"Thank gods," Sorey mumbles, pulling his hand away.

Like this, Mikleo looks like he's just sleeping. His face is calm, if a little paler than usual. His lips are chapped, but parted. The half empty cup on the table lets Sorey know that either Lailah or Zaveid had made him drink recently.

"Were you really that scared? If anything happened we'd tell you, you know?" Zaveid says, with his legs on the table. If Sorey didn't know him, he could easily take his teasing as nonchalance. But he also knows how much time Zaveid spent sitting by the bed, replacing the cold rag on Mikleo's forehead when he was wracked by the fevers.

"I know." Sorey offers him a smile, one that lights up even the circles under his eyes. "I just..."

Zaveid spares him the need to say the words. "We know, buddy."

Sorey pulls the chair away from the other Seraphim and sits by the bed, looking over the passed out boy with a valiant gaze. "Wake up soon, Mikleo," he whispers, low enough for the others no to hear him.

"-ake up! Wake up!"

He's shaken, but it takes a moment to come back to the land of the waking. Sorey's eyelashes flutter and he stirs, blinking up. Zaveid towers over him, even more than usual now that he's sitting.

"Wakey, wakey," the Seraph teases, "we got breakfast."

"I fell asleep?" Sorey asks sleepily, lifting a hand to rub the sleep crust out of his eyes. According to the crick in his neck, yes, he did.

"Yup," Zaveid confirms, "You'd make a terrible guard."

Sorey can feel blood rushing into his cheeks. "Sorry," spills from him before he can think.

"But you weren't the guard, so don't worry. You gave me some more private time with Lailah." Zaveid lifts his brows in an implication.

"I read his fortune!" Lailah pipes up innocently, a piece of bread with honey poured over it in her hand. She's eyeing it, paying close attention not to spill any.

Zaveid's brows come back down. And then furrow. "She said I would die alone."

"Well, you probably won't die alone," Sorey says, standing up and stretching his arms. His joints pop with satisfying sounds. "You'll probably get killed, and that means that there will at least be your killer around. Probably a whole crowd, in your case."

"Thanks buddy, really appreciate it," Zaveid deadpans.

Sorey drags his chair back to the table and accepts the butter knife Lailah hands him. He grabs a piece of the bread and spreads butter on top, following her example of a honey meal.

Zaveid joins them and they eat in silence. Somewhere along the way, Edna comes upstairs, pulling along her own chair, presumably from the other room (though Sorey wouldn't really put it past her to take it all the way from downstairs). She joins them with only a remark of 'Zaveid's really quiet. Finally.'

They finish their meal and Sorey grabs his cloak again. He does, however, pause in the doorway, eyes falling onto Mikleo's unmoving form again. "I'll come again tonight," he promises.

"You know it's dangerous," Lailah says, her brows furrowing. "What if somebody sees you?"

"I didn't get caught yet! Don't worry!" Sorey tries to reassure her, but he himself knows what would happen if someone were to see and -gods forbid- follow him. Associating with Seraphim is the biggest form of treason, and punishable by a Seraphic trial along the Seraphim. Edna might be able to survive underwater by building a barrier, but he sure can't. He shudders at the thought; pushes it back where it came from, to the dark corner of his betraying mind.

"Just be careful, I don't want to follow my brother's steps," Edna says, using a hendkerchief to wipe stray droplets of honey from her fingers.

Sorey's eyes lower at the mention of Eizen. He puts on his coat in silence, and in silence he also slips out, leaving them alone to tend to Mikleo.

The morning streets greet him with people already bustling about, erecting their stalls and hauling the night's catches over. He can pull the cloak off when he gets to the heart of the market, no one paying him any mind as they mill about, hell-bent on getting the best fish today has to offer before someone else swoops in and steals them.

Sorey stops at a stall and buys a pair of handfuls of freshly caught prawn, despite himself. No one spares him a glance as he's handed the clothed bundle.

No one knows.

It always sends a pang of paranoia through him, when he's around people. He'd be lying if he said he's scared for himself and the possibility of being drowned or hung as a traitor to humanity. What truly strikes fear into his heart is the thought of Zaveid getting set ablaze. Of Lailah being tossed to the bottom of a lake. Of Edna pushed off a cliff, bound and helpless.

Of Mikleo, still unconscious and weak, being buried alive.

He finds himself gripping the cloth bag so tight that his nails bite into his palm through it; his heart is hammering and breath short. He takes a moment to calm himself and slips through the ever-unaware crowd back home.

WITCH HUNT AU;

aka medieval au where all humans hate and hunt the seraphim. theyre very, very ostracized and humans arent allowed by law to even talk to one. getting caught helping one (much less four) is punishable by a public execution. even rumors are enough to get inquisition on your ass; be careful!

sorey grows up alongside mikleo, a boy he met by the lake. mikleo admits hes a seraph a few years down the line, because he trusts sorey. and, just as expected, sorey makes sure to keep him safe and sound.

they meet the gang eventually, because mikleo, being a seraph, can tell when there are others around. lailah gets herself backed into a corner by a mob after badly dodging a question about her looks. burn her. no, she is fire. kill her! drown her! sorey and mikleo snatch her and lead the angry mob on a wild chase around the city that they know like the backs of their hands. edna is outed when she tries defending eizen before his execution. its just wild luck that mikleo was around. it was absolutely coincidental that the lake suddenly formed a tsunami-like wave. absolutely. zaveid finds them. he tries to flirt with lailah in the pub. needless to say, the poor guy is let down. at least the beer is close.

they dont meet rose and dezel until later. dezel protects rose to the best of his abilities, almost to the suicidal edge. rose doesnt even know hes a seraph until they meet the guys

eli told me this is basically canon (the human & seraphim hating each other), so i kinda scrapped this idea since i didnt want to seem like i was. idk. wrongly copying the canon. i know nothing about berseria

[likeabulletyoucanhurtme]

Last one... Baskin

I decide I want to watch films from listicles and stupid articles posted from facebook. I decide to do reviews/re-action blogs/liveblog posts, not because of the film but just if I have time/effort to put in. This film is a Turkish horror, and the full thing is actually on YouTube also, with subtitles! Opening shot is a shelf of childrens toys and the first one we see has a skull face, but a really ripped body. Like Skeletor on hormones. Not sure if plot related but a bit of a weird toy to have Little dude is woken up by the sounds of a woman off camera having/faking an orgasm. Well I mean obviously the actress isn't having one but in the context of the plot maybe it's faked too... Little dude goes to investigate but stops short of opening mum/sister/guardians door. Wise choice little dude, wise choice Also there's only a female voice to be heard, and no bed squeaking or anything, maybe it's a solo performance? And in that case less likely to be faked for the purpose of a male ego There's now a TV playing only static...stay away little dude, I've seen Poltergeist - static on TVs is bad news!! If there's one thing going digital has saved the world from it's ghosts in the static - they're not here no more Carol-Anne TV turns off ok, but Little dude starts hyperventilating anyway and there's a hand trying to get him from the front door. He tries to wake his mum but his bedroom door shuts and the title comes up instead A guy with a bucket is about to go into a restuarant but sees theres 4 policemen in their and takes the bucket round the back instead. Turns out there was meat in it - maybe customer service to not see the delivery, or is that meat from a suspicious source?? The policemen are deciding what football bets to put on, showing that Turkish police obviously arent paid enough either, and also that everyone thinks Messi will score Yavuz says he's gonna fuck one of the others (Seyfi) like a chicken, prompting the chief to say he probably has fucked a chicken, not the best insult to use really Apparently the chief has friends that have had sex with chickens before, but apparently its not about fucking the chicken, it's about catching it... The chiefs first time was with an elephant in the army apparently, while the newbie got took to a brothel in high school... Very strange Yavuz tells a typical transphobic tale about a prostitute that turned out to have male genetalia - but while they laugh he's just turned on the waiter Its Joe Pesci in Goodfellas with subtitles now Seyfi goes to the bathroom to be sick and finds a frog in the soap dish. Because reasons. It looks like there's a shape behind him in the mirror when he bends over, when he straightens up he doesnt see it but does start screaming at the mirror A while later the others have calmed him down but it doesn't say if he saw something or not? Now the others are letting him drive the van because he says he's fine but I wouldn't be trusting him Now they're all singing and clapping to a song on the radio, Turkish pop songs are just as cheesy as English language ones. A call comes from dispatch that they have to go and provide backup for another unit, but Seyfi says he's heard of the place and there's bad stories. Ominous. Now they're on a deserted lane and a naked man runs out in front, but when they get out something hits the other side of the van. Something no-one sees but rocks the van much harder than just one person on their own would've Now there's hundreds of frogs on the ground, Yavuz asks if they all jumped up and hit the van together and well... why not? While they're debating if there was really a naked man in the road, they drive into another figure, one that looks not human and very hairy... Now they're in a cafe, or maybe it's the same restuarant as earlier... Newbie is telling the chief about a dream he had when his friend died - its the opening sequence. He's had the dream this morning too, not a good omen for him Apparently the boss is his guardian? or uncle? or both? The others were watching TV, but the boss asks is anyone here and the two are now alone... No, not alone. You can see now it is the same restuarant as earlier, and theres a shape in the kitchen. The boss says this is the first time someone else can see it, and suddenly there's blood on the ceiling and blood running over the table Now he's in water, did the van really crash and his brain's telling him to wake up before he drowns? Yeah, he's getting pulled out of the water now - called it!! There's some homeless looking people sitting around a fire, and a girl has a bucket of frogs. More frogs. Girl taps the bucket as they're leaving and says something suitably ominous, but its not subtitled :( They're led to the place they were meant to be going at least, which is apparently an abandoned police station, though they won't be much good for backup after being in an accident Boss says to newbie that he has the key to all this - very strange words Original police unit they're meant to be backing up is nowhere to be found and the radio doesn't work in their car either. Typical. "How does our national anthem start?"   "Fear not..." "Exactly, now let's go!" Inside seems empty too, but they do find some eggs filled with blood. Not chicken eggs, but smaller. Probably fucking frogs again They find a member of the original unit who's slowly and methodically banging his head into a wall He's not talking but he points to where his unit is - down a creepy stairwell obviously Yavuz says he's not going downstairs cause its too dark, but changes his mind when he's left alone while Seyfi takes the headbanger outside Seyfi leaves headbanger to follow a frog, and instead finds a bloodsoaked orgy with people using what looks like binbags for gimpmasks ((PS I am not going to kinkshame anyone, but if you wanna use a binbag as a gimpmask, be safe and cut airholes first)) It's unsure what they do to Seyfi when they pull him down but he's screaming, and headbanger is alone in the dark crying... The others have found an empty sex dungeon, and while I approve of the chains and candles, there's a bit too much blood on the walls. And this mask looks like its made of actual animal skin There's a figure on the wall of a woman, in a very froggish shape. If you have frog-phobia do not watch this film. ((Also, is there a horror film about killer frogs?? Like, protagonists walking carefully through millions of frogs, like an amphibian The Birds?)) Now there's two bodies in the next room, wrapped in plastic and hung up with a bucket for the blood. Someone else in a cage but unsure if alive or dead yet... Newbie's followed a trail of blood and finds another room with many, many more bodies, some with bags on their heads and missing limbs so possibly alive, and someone cutting them up Chief (not the one they call boss, another one) goes near to the cage and suddenly someones behind him with a big mallet and kills him Boss starts shouting, Butcher woman notices newbie and starts screaming, one legged man with a bag on his head starts screaming, newbie fires his gun randomly and they all are chased Yavuz gets caught, newbie's still running and somehow ends up back in his own house? From the start? Suddenly him and Boss are back in the restaurant, must be like his mind palace or his brains "safe space" Boss says there was no call for backup, but that they were summoned by someone/thing Newbie wakes up and they're all tied to pillars, while the cult members are praying, or having some sort of orgy High priest walks in with a full robe and hood and ignores Yavuz who's shouting at him, as if he's in a position to make threats Servant brings the priest a bowl to wash his hands in, but the bowls far too small for his hands and he can barely clean past the second knuckle Priest says hell is not a place you go, but you carry it with you at all times inside you. Not really selling your religion here pal, most people wanna escape hell not be told its inside them! Preist then puts his hand in a cut in Cheifs stomach and moves it sideways, somehow opening it up and pulling out his intestine at the same time - like Temple of Doom but a foot lower and more blood Animal bones are thrown and now it's Yavuz's turn. Not sure if the priest is gonna kill him or try to recruit him? His eyes are cut out, but eventually he's given a cloth type mask and told to "open the eyes of his heart" Seems he's being recruited Servant leads in a semi-naked woman, crawling in shackles and wearing a goatshead mask. Yavuz is put behind her and is being forced to have sex with her to open his heart He fails, maybe he's still resentful to the man who just made him blind? Or maybe it's just cause she's not trans, or even a chicken?? She crawls away and Yavuz dies...and a spider crawls out his mouth?? WTF? Boss shouts the priest to him next, and the priest thanks him for looking after the newbie, and slits his throat. Sorry boss, you're not being recruited. Priests splashing boss's blood over him and rubbing it into his bald head. Servant brings goatshead woman a large tub to stand in, she holds onto a pillar and pops out a baby. Simple as that Baby clonks out onto the metal tub and priest takes it upstairs. Maybe alive or maybe not? Definitely brain dead after that clunk Newbie is back in the restuarant again, seemingly alone, but stands up and sees the Boss bleeding out beside the table Boss says he has only one key in this life and now its the newbies....then the newbie pulls an actual key out his slit throat??? Priest is there and he has a keyhole tattoo in his forehead, newbie jams the key into it and suddenly their back in the dungeon, there's a key sticking out of the priests head and newbie is free from his chains? Newbie uses the priests stool to smash the priests head in several times, which may seem like overkill, but in a horror movie you make sure they're really dead first He's spreading the priests blood over himself the way the priest did with the boss's blood, unsure if he's gonna be the new priest or just suffering a psychotic break Now he's running up the road laughing - yeah deffos mental He just got knocked down by a police van. The one he was in earlier. Has he went back in time?? Whaaaa???

[dustaebunny]

19 years before

Jimin felt the heat from the sun burning his arms as he watched red drip from his mother’s face. This happened every time it got too hot, when they played for too long, when it was too cold, when he did not want to eat his vegetables... it seemed that lots of things caused the pretty crimson liquid to trickle from her face.

17 years before – allude more about quiet time, being fatigued and sickness

He laid his head on his mother’s lap. She was calmer today- no blood flowing from her nose yet. The calmness of the afternoon seemed to settle in and

“There are ships in the desert?” Jimin questioned his mother’s story. If he remembered right, in school they were taught that deserts had no water- and ships and boats. Those things live on the water. He frowned, “I thought ships live on the sea?”

Looking curiously up at his mother, she smiled down and replied, “Well yes, but there is a magical place on earth where there are gigantic ships on the in the middle of the desert!”

“Gigantic?” Jimin questioned again, lifting his head from her lap. His mommy continued to stroke his hair.

“Gigantic means huge, so big! Bigger than our house! Bigger than Grandma’s apartment! And it was all the way out there in an empty desert.”

“And you went there?”

“Yes, and on this trip I had met the most handsome prince with the help of a wizard.”

“Do you think that maybe there is a princess out there too?”

“Well Jiminie, maybe when youre older, we can go to this desert and see if your princess is out there also” /// maybe do something like when you grow old you’ll meet your princess too / we will search for her together

16 years before

Jimin is wearing the most uncomfortable suit. It is itchy and constricting, and hot. He is forced to stay still next to his father, but all he wants to do is wake his mom up. His auntie had told him earlier that she is going through a deep sleep and that she will be sleeping for a long time, so he needs to keep still and quiet.

His father is wearing black clothes too and has dark sunglasses on his face. He reaches out and clutches onto his father’s warm rough hands. He doesn’t understand why everyone is so sad. He just saw his mommy a few minutes ago, and she looked the most beautiful surrounded by all those flowers. She was so pretty. A long sleep sounds good for his mommy. She had been so tired lately. He had to always be a good boy and keep quiet. He needed to be the one to cook rice , to clean up after himself and his dad, to put away his fathers shoes. Jimin swore he was a good boy all the time, never once complained, never upset or sad. Always quiet and good, like his mother asked.  But all Jimin wanted to do was be loud, to play outside with his friends, with his mom, to lay in their back yard again under the big oak tree. // something about doing chores

There was always quiet time when he was home- when mommy needed her nap, he would too nap with her after completing his homework. Jimin is sad he cannot lay with his mother now, lay with her amongst the flowers. But he will stay quiet, like his auntie said. So his mommy can rest fully, and hopefully when she wakes up- she can help him with his homework.

14 years before

Jimin is in a black itchy suit again. This time it isn’t to say goodbye to another parent. No- now he is getting a new one. Her name is Sooyoung but he can call her mommy. That feels weird to say, he already had a mommy but shes in heaven now. And this new one, she has a little girl that is younger than him. He has a sibling now. It was just him for the longest time. Dad said he needs to learn how to share now, and that he needs to protect his baby sister. Her name is Dara. Dara is just 2 years younger than him. Dara looks up at jimin and holds out her hand. Jimin is shy but takes it. Maybe staying at home now wouldn't be so lonely anymore. Maybe his dad will be home more often and happy.

 8 years before

“This is so stupid. I cant believe he’s making me sign up for ballet” Jimin complains as he tosses his gear on the table in the cafeteria with his teammates, all hollering and laughing at the scowl on his face.

“Seriously man, just tell the coach you signed up and don’t go” The boy at the end of the table shrugged. Jimin cocked his head to the side to study the kid. Kim Taehyung, tall, fast, wide receiver on the team. He had no issues with his agility. Jimin was short and stocky, the idea of being able to skip, jump and be quick dreaded him. He was strong, stable, secure.

Another boy across from him shook his head. “Dude, just go to your fucking ballet tutu class.” The team captain said dismissively, “Coach ordered it, he knows what hes fucking talking about. Youre practically a tree stump on the field.”

The table erupts in laughter again at his comment. Jimin groaned, squeezing his eyes shut and tossing his head back. “Fuck fine, but if anyone else gets the dancers prescription from coach, I don’t want to hear you bitching”. He grabbed his gear bag and stormed out of the room. If he wasn’t going to get the show of support from his teammates, for sure he’ll get it at home. His father wouldn’t let his only son sign up for dance classes with Dara. Wouldn’t he?

When Jimin gets home that night to complain to his family, his step mother happily signs him up for the same Jazz class Dara is in and his father is quick to support anything that will help him further his possible football career.

Should we introduce the dancing bit as him complaining to his parents? Or should it be with the other team mates?

Or should it be his inner monologue?

Coach claims Im too stiff, that there is no agility?

2 a days for football practice ontop of attending ballet?

 "So coach told me that I should sign up for dance or ballet lessons." Jimin peeked up and looked at his father from across the table.

 "He asked you to take dance lessons on top of your 2 s days practice?" His step mother questions, Sooyoung was a lovely woman, the soft slope of her nose scrunching at the thought of jimin having such a busy and tight schedule over the summer.

 "Well what did the coach say? Did he mention why you needed the classes?" His father peers at Jimin, face stern and hard," You should listen to him, aim to do good, football can do wonders for your future, get you into a good college, maybe even a few scholarships."

 "HA! Jimin is gonna take dance lessons like a girrrl" Dara teases,

 no no  she would be upset

 "Ew no mom! come on I don't want him taking classes with me! its bad enough Ara and Tina have like the biggest crush on my stepbrother! And I already see him enough at home!" Dara groans.

 "Well the coach said I was a little stiff on the field, he told me that ballet is supposed to help with Agility or something I guess.." Jimin stares down at his plate and pushes his food around with a fork. He can see it now, his father, mentioning the scholarships, the money, the opportunity. There was no way he was going to get out of this, he was going to go to dance lessons whether he liked it or not. "Please dad I really don't-"

 "What is Kim taehyung doing? Isnt he on the team with you?"

 "yeah but hes a wide receiver he doesn't have the same position as I do, and- I mean I guess his reaction time is better than-"

 "ah so you really do need these lessons then? You are part of a team Jimin, whether you like it or not, and you need to pick up the slack and be one with the team. They cant have you falling behind. You need to do whatever you can to help further the group. You need to be looking at the long game, you need to not only look at where you can improve now, but how you can help bring your team to nationals, to be scouted, hell maybe even play on that national level"

 "Arent you dreaming a little too big dad?"

 "You don't get it son, I may be just a lowly accountant but I see what these guys earn. What sort of life they lead, I want you to do better than me, I want you to be more than just comfortable."

 His stepmother shifts in her seat. "I'll sign you up for jazz with Dara, atleast that way we aren't wasting gas running around town for your guy's extra curriculars"

 Jimins father leans in and kisses Sooyoung softly. Ofcourse Jimin thought, his father was going to let him suffer through any sort of humilation, anything to further his 'football career'.

 4 years before

//describe house party- maybe?

“You’re a great dancer!”

Jimin learns that dancing is a trait that girls- no women like. Dancing with a girl at a party. He learns that she goes to college, shes sophisticated, shes soft, and pretty and her perfume smells nice. There is an intoxicating way about her and it isn’t just the 6 beers that him and his teammates chugged earlier. The way she smiles up at him- its like she has(or knows) a secret. She closes her eyes and leans her head back. Sweat is trickling down her neck, and Jimin eyes the drop that slides down toward the center of her breasts. Her face is flush and he swears he has never seen the color pink be so pretty. She turns around presses her back to him and grinds on him, really digging into the erection in his pants. He almost freezes in the middle of the dance floor. She probably felt it right? She must know he is hard right? There is no way she could not know.

She quickly turns around to face him again. And Jimin braces for it, this is when she tells him off, tells him to quit being such a pervert, tells him to-

“Hey lets go upstairs” She leans in and whispers in his ear, Jimins throat is suddenly dry. She searches his face again and smirks, “Come on big boy, there’s no need to be shy.” She is quick to grab his hand, to drag him through the crowd and to guide him to a room upstairs.

 //maybe cut- better to allude to a good time?

She is quick with her hands. Jimin can hardly think straight, hes too worried that he will come off as lame, too nervous that she will see right through him, see him as some little boy, see him as a naïve stupid little virgin, totally reject him out right when she finds out that he doesn't know how to hold a woman, how to feel a woman, how to make her cum. Shes going to leave him in this dark room alone, with his pants around his ankles because hes an idiot. An idiot who can bring a woman to orgasm, who cant make her feel.

Jimin's belt is undone and she shoves his pants down to his ankles. She drops down to her knees and smiles up at him. His dick is hard and tenting his boxer. Aching for relief, aching for release, she presses a kiss to his base and he never blushed so hard. The contact making him shiver.

"Don't worry" she whispers to him, "I know how to make you feel good." Jimin isn't sure whether shes talking to him or his cock. Jimin leans his head back and stares at the ceiling. The fan is whirling so hard it causes the chain to whip back and forth. He's doing everything in his power not to cum, doing everything in his power not to ejaculate all over his boxers and her pretty face. He feels her scratch his lower belly as she reaches in his underwear and pulls him out. Her grip where she is touching is hot and electrifying  

 3 years ago //revisit

Black, dressed in black again. Except this time it is to graduate. He was scouted and it going to play football for his mothers alma matter. He loves his step mom and his baby sister, but feels bittersweet and wonders what it would be like if his own mother is here. His father is proud- but holds Jimin at a distance.

Make a point where someone asks where hes going to school, and he mentions his moms alma mater- or some parent does. Father stiffens at comment.  Step mom is understanding and notes that it is a terrific school.

 Jimin grabs his diploma from his headmaster's hands. Finally hes graduating highschool, finally hes going to be going into the real world, finally hes going somewhere to play football, where he is appreciated for the sport. Away from his family, his annoying little sister, his distant father and his stepmother.

 One of the chicks on the girls soccer team stops by Jimin and his friends. They take pictures.

 "Hey Jimin where did you end up deciding on?" Taehyung's father asked Jimin whilst staring at his parents, why direct the question to him if hes going to be wanting to talk to his parents instead?

 "Well I ended up choosing Seoul National U my mom’s alma mater. I am going to be playing for them" ..

 "Ah the (whatever animal)"

 Jimin stares at his father, watching for his reaction. He wondered how he truly felt about him attending his mothers old school instead of going abroad like he had. He wondered if he always had resented him for trying to reach back to his dead mother, for trying to always find a connection to her. It was probably why he was so insistent on joining sports, why he was so adamant about him playing football, a sport that was not entirely as popular as it is in America. Jimin wondered if his father wished he were more like him and less like his mother, is that why he was so distant? or so off and the mere mention of her name? He used to question about her and her life when he was child, but was always brushed off, "Jimin you have a new mother now, you have a younger sister, you need to think about this family now, you need to help her with the yard. Take care of your younger sister, please go over her homework" It was as if he was trying to erase her from his memory and insert a new one. And when that didn't work, when jimin wouldn't stop pestering, stop digging, stop asking he just decided to ignore it forever, always silent on the issue.

 Kim taehyung finally rounds the corner and crashes into their group, "Cmon Jimin lets go! We gotta show this school who theyre going to be missing-" Grabs Jimin by the collar.

 1 year before

 // option 1 10:49 the red neon numbers blinked up on the wall behind the class. Dr. Kim was making his way around the classroom, talking with different students. Jimin already packed and ready to go

 // option 2 3 hours – Jimin reminded himself. He has 3 hours before practice, enough to get a good nap before the punishing drills his coach might have for him today. He was quickly packing his notebooks and things away while Dr. Kim- his literature teacher droned on, “And please I should not have to remind you, but read the chapters before the next class for discussion. Remember participation is 15 percent of your grade!”

 // option 3 Dr Kim approached Jimin at his desk

 // option 4 A shadow fell over Jimin while he was packing away his things at his desk. He slowly looked up to the person who approached him. Dr Kim his literature teacher.

 Packing up after Creative writing class.. Professor Kim is ending the class.. maybe start this with dialogue? Depending on how you start the others. Maybe Professor kim sends an email to him instead requesting that he come to his office to discuss his work or his grades. I know Football is important to you, hell it is way too important to this school, but have you thought about what life will be like out of college? I knew your mother back in the day- she had an affinity for writing too, I actually see a lot of her voice in you. You have the same writing style.

Suddenly Jimin starts to feel closer to his mother

 Professor shows him his mothers works

When she was pregnant with you she wanted to start a childrens book

Professor and friends was at the funeral service too and saw him

It is halfway through the semester – sorry for talking to you so late, but he was looking for his mothers things- is a hoarder took a while

 //option 5 Dr. Kim looks up from his desk  -- no describe office first? Papers haphazardly strewn around

Jimin steps inside of the cramped room that is Dr Kim’s office. Bookcases filled to the brim with figurines, binders and books adorn the wall. Sort of encasing Dr Kim in a box of literature. Dr Kim glances up from his desk startled. His dark almond eyes widening at his intrusion. As if suddenly remembering as to why he came Dr Kim stood up, “Ah Jimin, you got my email? I didn’t think you would have come so soon.”

 Jimin glances around(not feeling this at all – maybe just go straight to dialogue and forget describing the office?) “Sir, is there a reason as to why you emailed me? I wasn’t to sure- I have been attending all of my classes? Did you not like one of my assignments…?”

 “Oh no no no, please let me explain – first sit sit” gesturing to one of the chairs in front of his desk.

 “Park Jimin, Can I speak with you in my office? I want to talk to you about your work”

“Am I in trouble? Did I miss the assignment, or…?” (been attending classes, isn’t sure as to why he is being singeled out, maybe mention that he actually like this class)

 “Oh, don’t worry, its nothing of the sort- I just have a couple of things I would like you to see or actually I would like to give to you. Follow me”

 Heads to office- bit of a mess.

 “Sorry I am a bit unorganized here. Take a seat, let me find your mothers papers”

“My mothers papers? You have my mothers old homework?/You were my mothers teacher too?”

“Not her old homework, but her old manuscripts, your mother and I were classmates back during our grad school days. She was just starting her masters while she was still dating your father”

“I didn’t know that”

“Yeah, your mother was quite the writer- I see a lot of her voice / similarities in you too. Sorry it took me so long to find these drafts. At first I was too sure if you were Sara’s son- we met before you know? At the funeral, you were probably too young to remember. And I didn’t want to just spring on you that I knew your mother, I knew I had her old drafts somewhere… sort of a perk that I am a hoarder huh? I just knew I wanted to approach you when I had finally found them”

“I knew my mother graduated with a degree in literature, I didn’t know she had plans for a book.”

“Yeah your mother I believe also wanted to start a childrens series- I think that was around the time she found out she was pregnant with you.”

“Thanks, I’ll read over them. I just- thank you really.”

“Have you read her diaries by chance? I know she pretty much documented almost everyday of her life.// OR You must have already read through her diaries, I know this isn’t much add to it, but I thought that you should have it”

“No I haven’t really found anything of my mothers after her passing.”

“Youre on the football team aren’t you?”

“yeah im **whatever position**”

“Are you looking to go professional?”

“No, honestly its just a way for me to pay for school.”

“Well have you thought about what you wanted to do when school is over? Honestly I think you could really look into possibly writing as a career.”

“Oh, I don’t know- I’m not really well read, and this was just-“

“Just think about it, I am sure whatever you choose to do, your mother would have been proud. Honestly you just coming here would’ve made her ecstatic”

“Thank you sir, really this means a lot to me.”

“Outside the classroom you can call me Namjoon, jimin.

“Thanks Mr.Namjoon

 6 months before

Jimin decides to go for a creative writing minor, and starts talking with his grandparents??? I want a little snip of something before he has to head home to help the family pack up.. 6 months is probably around Christmas time too right?

 “… I got the promotion at work, so we will be moving into the city in the next couple of months..”

“Months why is that so far away?

I need to hire and train my replacement; they don’t want me leaving until everything is in order.

 We’ll be moving to the city, so Jimin if you want instead of paying/staying at the dorm- you can stay at home. It’ll be easier on your bills since you wont be resigning the scholarship contract?// make him more disappointed – but acknowledging

 Jimin wouldn’t you want your own space though? Since you have been living on your own for the past few years- you know with privacy and all? Especially for girls?

 Pfft as if! The only girl I bet he brings around to his stinky apartment his Jill!

 Jill?

 Yeah his right hand!

 Dara!

 What its true! My older stepbrother- when did you become such a loser?

 Shut up Dara, at least I don’t actually screw around with dweebs like Jungkook

 He isn’t a dweeb ok!

 He should get a real job, playing video games for a living is lame

 Oh you’re just jealous! And video gaming is considered a sport now, a Neanderthal like you wouldn’t understand.

 Rolls his eyes, Yes because using a keyboard and mouse requires a lot of skill

 You shut up! You-

 OK OK you two. Settle down,

 But mom!// more snarkier conversation- probably redo the whole teasing/argument, but mostly centering on Jimin not getting laid

 Jimin so you’ll stay with us for your final year?

 Yeah I guess so, It beats having to find a roommate for an apartment, or staying in the dorms again.

 Good, because we will need a hand with the move. We’ve accumulated way too much stuff over the years.

 Mostly Jimins participation trophies -snickers-

 OR family holiday scene

1 week before

His father gets the promotion and they are going to be moving to the city, closer to Jimin. Jimin helps them pack up the household for the movers.

 Gripping the wheel of his car, Jimin is halfway through the drive home-

“Are you sure there isn’t anything you needed me to bring? Like extra boxes or tape?”

 He hears his stepmother sigh, “No, no thank you Jimin. We’re going to first clear out the house and try to sort through the junk. I don’t want to accidently pack up trash and ship it to Seoul.”

“Ok mom, what about dinner? I can stop by some place and pick something up?”

 “Ah well actually, Dara is cooking for us tonight.”

 “Dara? Are you sure?”

 His stepmother laughs, “Yeah, she’s found these videos online and really has gotten good at it, the Park household has been eating gourmet for the past couple of months.”

 “Wow I can hardly believe it.”

 “I think it might have to do with that boy shes been seeing” She whispers.

 “Do you want me to interrogate her, find out?”

 “Oh no no, its fine- so long as we can reap the benefits. Just hurry home and drive safe. Love you.”

 “Love you too”

3 days before

Step mother asks that he start working on the attic, and that he should sort it out into piles. Mentions something about the step mom going through a marie kondo phase. And also mention tid bits about if you do not feel joy, throw it out.

Make mention of all of his trophies, mostly participation or attendance. Younger sister throws some shade about that, nice sibling banter.

 Coughing out the dust in his lungs. Jimin makes his way downstairs from the basement lugging a box of trashable momentos.

“You clearing out all of your participation trophies?” Dara snickers.

“No, just all of your attendance certificates,”

Scoffs whatever.

Jimin places the box in the throw away pile his stepmother had set up in the living room. Jimin trudges his way back up the stairs into the attic. Boxes stacked high in the tight dusty space. Forgotten dreams, old achievements, lack luster memories seemed to clog the space. A time capsule for an era he has little to no memory of. Jimin dusts off a box labeled photos, Flips through images of his mother and finds them of his father, finds them with him, also finds images with Dr Kim Namjoon and others. These images she is seen carrying a notebook / diary. Jimin wonders if he will find them like Dr Kim Namjoon has suggested.

1 Day before

Jimin finds the box of his mom’s notebooks and diaries. He is first amazed at findng such a treasure, then is conflicted if he should read it.

 Jimin places the boxes of his mothers diaries in his room. He picks up one and flips through it. Decides against reading it and lays back against his childhood bed. Goes through the throws of whether he should read it or not. Decides ultimately to sleep on it. But decides to keep the books.

 Jimin heads back upstairs into the attic to clear out more junk.

Day of

 After finally clearing the attic, Jimin decides to start on his room. He glances back at the box of notebooks and decides to take a break and read through them. Hes curious about his mother and wonder who she really was. He feels the spine and finds the one he recognizes from on of the photos. He picks it up and thumbs through it. Different passages of  her travels. (maybe add excerpts?)

Jimin finds the notebook of his moms travels when she was in college, and it was during a study abroad English program- she went to some school in Texas where she met his father. Talks about the desert and the ships in the desert. Triggers the memory of when he was a child.

   Or scrap – father for sure went to school in the states. But maybe mother just went there for vacation

 4 days after

Jimin is in the car and makes the resolve to go through with the plan of following his moms foot steps

[askpet-archive]

PET MHA 1

Ari is sitting in the main big room, holding a pencil, hands twitching as she wrote quietly on the paper, she knew a new intake was coming today, she wanted to give them a warm welcome.

Era was doodling in a corner of the room, trying not to get it onto the walls. She stared, focused on the disturbing doodles. She was trying something new, 'draw the hallucinations you see.' Kind of like, something to help grasp onto what was real and what wasn't. She glanced up again for what might of been the 5000th time, staring at everyone else in the room

Ari slid out of her seat, walking over to Era and sitting next to her "what are you making?" She asked, smiling softly, messing with a tiny rock in her hand. She had smuggled it inside last time they were allowed to the backyard

Era stares at Ari, fidgeting in her place, before holding up her picture. It's some.. type of bird? Deformed bird? 'This is birdie.' is scrawled on the paper as well Ari smiled "are they nice?"

Era nods her head, murmuring a "yes."

Ari heard the door opened, Ami came in "Ari, Era dears, do you want to meet the new intake?" Ari jumped, ready to g o

Era decided not socializing wouldn't help anything, despite feeling uncomfortable at the thought of meeting others. She stood up with Ari as well, clutching her paper. She wonders what the new people will be like

Ari couldnt touch Era due to rules, but she hovered her hand near Eras waist, ready to pull her close if neccsary. The nurse led them out into the hall, in the hall were two boys, Vince and CM

CM leaned against the hall wall, listening to Vincent while he crossed his arms, "And so the general told me to go into the bunker-" CM interrupted, "And then you found the others fortified without you. I know, you told me the story millions of times." He grunted, Vincent sighed and combed his hand through his hair.

Ari waved at this guy, smiling "bonjour! Im Arianna!" She exclaimed "this is my best friend Era!"

Era waves at the two of them, giving a blank stare. She continues to hold her paper with her right hand

Vincent looked hopeful, "More survivors! Oh I'm so glad that the carrier was able to load in more units, I thought Colonel and I were the last batch making it to the hospital!" He said in glee, CM fixing his bandages on the left side of his face.

Ari played along, nodding "yep! I was terrified when shhhhstuf went down, i got Era and Spop out as fast as possible though"

Vincent waved over to CM, "Come Colonel! Do you recognize any of these soldiers? Were these any of yours?" CM sighed and got up from the wall and slouched over, staring at them, "Ah yes... they are..." He looked at their nametags, "Ari and Era... None of mine though." CM played along.

Era blinks, frowning. Soldiers? Survivors? Oh no, had the apocalypse started yet and she wasn't informed? That would be bad, really. What kind of apocalypse would it be? Maybe aliens finally invaded. That would prove everyone she was right about them. She's just staring off into nothing now, lost in thought, forgetting that other people were in the room

CM snapped his fingers, "Hey. Hey." He bent over closer, "There's nothing going on. I'm acting." He whispered, smiling and putting his index finger over his mouth, "Shh..."

Ari softly pinched Eras hand, wake up. "Oh, you guys arent in uniform yet, ill show you too it. Leader Amanda says its good for everyone to be in regular clothing, leaves our bodies light enough to train"

Era blinks, going out of her thoughts once the two of them got her out of it. Oh, okay. Aliens would invade someday, though. She was really sure of that. Oh, wait, did she need to say something? Maybe not.. she didn't have anything to say.. is that a bad thing? Ari's talking to them now, okay, she doesn't need to anymore

CM got up from his leaning position, directing his question to Ari, "So, what's wrong with you guys? I might as well ask to make sure anyone pulls a knife on us. Luckily I made myself a bodyguard, he gets annoying but he's alright."

Ari snickered "i wont hurt anyone. I just...see...things..." she trailed off, looking behind him "era is.. kind of...she just hallucinates i think.." "Schizophrenic." Era mutters, just loud enough for him to hear

He nodded, "Hallucinations are very popular in here, myself... I have DID. I might as well not say their names or they might want to meet you." He pointed over towards Vincent, "That guy has PTSD, he thinks he's in WW2.  A real interesting guy."

Aris eyes widened "poor guy! Maybe he had a past life" she heard the DID statement, she looked at CM "id love to meet them. Ive met people with it before, its interesting"

CM glared at her, not menacingly, just curious. "You want to meet them? Well, one of them wont be able to come out because my camera is upstairs... I guess I could have Actor come out..." He muttered as he said Actor's name. He stepped back and took a breath, bowing and starting to say, "Act I... Prolouge... From ancient grudge break to new mutiny..." He began with a dull tone. CM suddenly paused mid sentence and put on a glorious expression as if he was on a spotlight, "Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean. From forth the fatal loins of these two foes. A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life; Whole misadventured piteous overthrows!" He cheered, boastfully ending his talk, bending over and shaking both Era and Ari's hands.

Era jerks her hand away almost immediately, stepping back a bit. Wait, oh no, was that rude? Oh no, she didn't mean to be rude, she just didn't want them to touch her, oh no. "Sorry-" She would of said more, explaining why she did it, but decided after one word that she didn't want to talk anymore and just stood next to Ari rather awkwardly

Ari jolted a bit. H i. "Oh, hi." She chuckled, shaking his hand "touch isnt allowed here just so you know..you said your name was Actor?" She smiled "Arianna, pleasure to meet you"

Actor bowed and apologized, "My mistake, M'Lady and Ser. Alot of people here are shy audiences... Only Vincent really enjoys my company..." He started to get down, then put on a happy smile again, "I'll take my intermission." Actor blinked, CM coming back again."He didnt touch you guys right? I swear if he did again..."

Ari laughed "its ok! I love contact, he can touch me, hand poke, hug, anythin. I dont care, Era doesnt like it though"

CM facepalmed, and heaved, "Can this guy remember the rules or what..."CM stepped back away and signaled Vincent with a snap, "Alright Vincent. Let's go. I better get back and find some new plastic cups, they always forget to give me some after room service." Vincent stood in attention and nodded his head, walking down the hall as CM walked behind him.

Spop was sitting in the common room. In her arms was a pig plushie that she clutched tightly, quietly muttering to it.

Ari decided now was a good time to- oh. Wait whats that. She starts following something only she can see, down the boy bedroom hall

Era blinks, now standing in the empty room. Uh. Okay. She looks around, before just, sitting down and going back to her drawing

-----

CM drunk from a plastic cup, surveying a dead outside with nothing but dark gloomy trees and muddy grass. Vincent sat down next to Spop, "Hello! How's Klondike? Did the nurse patch him up?"

Spop looked up at Vincent and her eyes sparkled. "Mhm! He is all better now!"Vincent's face lit up, "That's superb!" CM looked down at the two of them , "Vincent, did the nurse tell you anything about when your leaving?" He asked, Vincent shrugged, "She told me that I wont be out of care for another few years. You?"CM sighed, "I havent heard much..."

"The nurse says that I cant leave as long as I talk to Klondike"

"Actor may know, but he rarely wants to speak to me. Cammy just... changes the subject over to if I cleaned the lenses off my camera or not."

Spop tilted her head and her eyes lit up more when Actor was mentioned. Spop likes Actor

Ari walked into the room, she looked upset. "Hey guys" she muttered, "...did you guys know we're all broken and insane and nothing we think we see can be actually real and the only reason we're like this is because we're weaker then the rest of the population?"

CM looked up quickly, getting up and signaled her to zip her mouth. "I swear if you... yknow- I'll actually have Actor perform a death act. Those two cant handle something like that! And for a fact, Im stronger than alot of healthy people." Vincent looked up at CM, his eyes fearful, "That's not... true. Right General? Atleast for me? I'm a healthy guy... right?" He glared over at Ari in an intense stare, "What made you think..."

Ari looked..completely out of it. Her eyes were glazed over, mouth stuck in a tiny frown, she had probably just had her meds "nope! You arent healthy! No one here is!"she laughed

CM couldnt make out a reply, his heart felt shattered, "I-I'm healthy... just not mentally. I believe... the nurses wont tell me anything about my condition..." He looked over towards Vincent who looked petrified, CM quickly stepped over towards him, "Vincent. Go to your quarters. You are ordered to forget about this conversation. Take the pills the nurse put on your drawer"Vincent got up and gloomly shuffled his way out of the room, nervously holding onto himself. CM swiftly turned heel and walked back towards Ari, "Why."

Ari shook her head and laughed again "merly told me! He also told me that no one here actually exsists, im all alone in the solitude room, or dead" she looked puzzled for a second "im probably dead"

"Ari, think about it. Would you be able to feel this if you were dead." CM held one of Ari's hands, knowing it could land him in solitude. He took a deep breath, "If you still think you're dead, know this. Atleast you have people to talk to. Death would be pure darkness. If no one existed... well... you wouldnt be able to smell the roses and fresh cut grass in the gardens."

Ari froze when he grabbed her hand, her eyes kind of, unglazing, she looked confused, before she realized "oh..god, i, oh jeez- my meds always do that, its a side effect.." she panicked a bit, looking around..no nurses were nearby, she hugged CM in thanks, before quickly pulling back "did-did i say something bad? I didnt upset anyone did i..?"

CM looked at were Vincent left the room, "Vincent may have heard your little rampage. I told him to go upstairs and take those memory pills the nurse gave him. Just to make sure he's alright, I think we should see him." He spoke, still in his mind of how heartwarming it was to recieve a hug. Actor was shouting in his head about how CM could break the rules and he couldnt

Ari starts running to go find Vincent, probably peeking into his room "Vincey..?"

Ami the nurse walked into the common room, glaring at CM "..i saw that. Dont let it happen again. There are attachment boundaries here Cam. No touching"she growled

CM let out a small groan, rolling his eyes as she left the room. He trailed behind Ari.Vincent was laying down on his bed, hands folded together and his eyes looking up at the ceiling. He heard his nickname, turning his head towards the door and surprised to see Ari. "Oh! Ari! Hey, what's up..." The glass of water next to him was empty and the pill bottle was open.

Ari decided not to mention it, instead putting on a smile "oh, nothing. Just checking on you. CM said you came up here. I wanted tp see if we could hang out!" She goes into his room and sits on the side of his bed, casually taking the pill bottle and reading what it does

He sat up in the bed, he gladly accepted the invitation. "That'll be great! What time is it? Wow, 4:36? I thought the clock was 12:23 when I looked at it a little bit ago." CM came in and sighed in relief, pulling up a chair towards the bed and sat with the others.

The pill bottle had information about erasing memory from 5-4 hours earlier after taking the pill.

Ari stared at it, before cracking a smile, slipping a pill up her sleeve and into a tiny pocket she had bitten into the fluff, before putting the pill bottle down Ari  smiled softly, ruffling her friends hair "you mustve fallen asleep. Do you wanna talk about strategies orr, can me or CM tell a story?"

He nodded his head, "I'd love to hear your guys' stories for once!" CM looking at the clock and knew they werent supposed to be here at this time...

Ari nodded and clapped her hands together, about to start, before she seemed to see something, her body freezing up.

CM noticed her freezing up, glancing up at her and tried to see whatever she's seeing. He looked back at her and gave her hand a quick tap, and whispered, "Psst."

Vincent looked behind himself, "Ari?"

Ari pulled back when he touched her. Whatever shes seeing, it aint good. Shes shaking.

CM fully turned to her, "Hey. Remember what therapy told you. Generalize the situation. Calm down. And tell me what you see."

Ari didnt answer, shes starting to cry

"I- they-" she looked at CM and forced back a scream, skittering backward "CM..? Are you-" hes bleeding oh my god..

---

Spop walked over to Era and put her chin on the couch next to Era. She stared at the drawing before smiling. "It looks pretty"

Era gives a ghost of a smile, nodding a "thanks." to Spop

Spop giggled

She pauses in the drawing for a moment, glancing up, before adding something to it "how are you.." It seemed more like a statement then a question, but oh well

"I'm good. you?"

"mmm.." Era looks up again, focusing on something, before replying "fine."

Spop sighed and walked off to find someone else to talk to. It was clear Era had other things to do. Not like Era trusted her

Era brings her gaze over to Spop, staring as she started to walk off, "wait-" Oh, no, well what does she say now. She really did want to talk more, the silence was beginning to become suffocating  "uhm. hows klondike?" Okay, tack on that

Spop turned around and looked at Era. "Klondike doing well. The lady in green came and fixed him right up!"

"oh, that's good. the nurses are always really nice, right?"

"Uh huh, though rumor has it" She leaned in close to Era "One of em isn't a human"

Era's eyes widen "oh! i bet it's the one with the messy bun, right? she always acted weird, weird, weird.. secretive!"

"I bet it's the one who runs this place. The black man"

Era thinks for a moment "that seems like it'd be true, too. there's a lot of evidence for it.. i haven't seen much people notice though.."

Speaking of the 'blonde man' Charles walks into the room "hello girls!" He smiled "im sorry ive been on the adult side all day, was group today enjoyable?"

Spop looked at Charles and squinted her eyes. "It was"

Era looks over at him, her face going back to being a blank stare "i think it was nice."

He nodded "perfect! Anywho, its about 5 minutes from dinnertime, you hungry?"

Era nods, slightly eager. Food was always nice, especially when she wanted to be distracted

Spop nodded and ran off to get Klondike

Charles clapped his hands together, going to go find the other three patients

---

CM holds her name, shaking it slightly. "Hey. Come back to us. Ari. Snap out of it. We're here!" Vincent sat there, quiet. He doesnt know what to do. He looks hopelessly towards CM.

Ari blinked a few times, it wasnt going away "CM.." she whined, grabbing his arm. This was normal uh

CM heard footsteps coming towards their room, he doesnt know wether he should force Ari's grip off of him or just accept punishment.

Charles looked in the room, a confused look on his face when he looked in "..what is going on in here?!" He exclaimed, too late now

Ari doesnt really realize, girl is just cryin dont mind her

CM yelped at the sight of him at the door, freezing. Vincent saw the man and closed his mouth,  'Umm.. he um. Ari- er."

Charles went over and pulled CMs arm away from Ari, proceeding to carefully inject something into the frozen girls arm, before turning back to CM "three touches. In one day, CM, give me one reason i shouldnt put you on watch."

"They were all for good reasons. I swear. Please dont put me in solitude." He winced at the word of him having three touches in ONE day. Getting up quickly and kept out of the proximity of the other two.

Charles sighed, idiot boy. He looked  at  Vincent "go head to dinner with the others, Ari will join you later, you too cm."

Vincent got up from the bed, CM motioned him to speed up. They both left the room, quiet muttering fell behind them.