aehno

[aehno]

my duckman obsession is taking over my brain im tempted to watch one episode per day and write a detailed evaluation of it- all my thoughts, stuff i liked, stuff i didnt like, what i'd do different, what I thought was brilliant, etc.

And then use this as fodder for fanfiction-

[aehno]

Square Enix needs to hire you rn

My pitch is that a Drakengard 3 Remake shouldn't be a Musou game but a Souls-like and my main argument is Zero could swear when she dies.

also the flower is perfectly set up for it to make sense and imo it would work better with the setting - but still, mostly the swearing part

[aehno]

Wayback Machine link for the Accord’s Library site, which had been archiving all of Yoko Taro’s work before was shut down on the 30th.

[aehno]

I was looking for this clip!

[aehno]

ok that’s it I’m writing it

reasons to write fanfiction (I'll start):

share a cool scene that popped into your head

evoke a particular emotion the canon makes you feel

song made you think of a character or idea from canon

make people feel the same way about a character you do

make dolls kiss for fun

explore ideas the canon hints at but doesn't do anything with

traumatize characters and make them suffer

coddle characters and let them rest

had an insane idea for a crack ship and now everyone needs to know

the author of the canon was wrong and must be fixed

use familiar characters to explore your own ideas and plotlines

canon is too short and you need to wallow in the universe of the story

[aehno]

ok but what if I actively want to see gore of my comfort character? What if I actively wish the worst things in the world possible onto him? What if I want to see him struggle just to see what it brings out of him? What if I want him pushed to his absolute limit, his resolve tested to no end.

[aehno]

yk when I overthink about it, Duckman's a bit like adult animation's equivalent to Drakengard 3

They both have:

-an unsympathetic but oddly endearing protagonist who does TERRIBLE things (probably every crime known to man actually) but has a miserable upbringing/backstory to explain it and become more endearing the more you go with their stories. They both have hidden depths to their characters and are surprisingly pretty interesting. They're also both total pervs/sleazebags. Also they're both lowkey kinda bi-coded.

-horny bird people

-Were made by well known companies (Klasky Csupo and Square Enix respectively) but shockingly vulgar compared to the content said companies normally make.

-Really vulgar/immature humor, fourth wall breaks, a sort of optimistic nihilist perspective ("nothing really matters B)") and a constant fluctuation between being incredibly stupid and oddly smart.

-REALLY low lows and really high highs (Drakengard 3 more so surprisingly)

-seem lowkey kinda stupid but are also really interesting at the same time. Like you look at it on the surface and are like "this shit sucks" but then you think about it more and more and are like "huh. kinda neat actually. Kinda shit and kinda neat at the same time."

-Difficult to recommend, Drakengard 3 more so since Duckman has a decently strong start and gets worse over time while Drakengard 3 is the other way around imo

-Great ideas that again, either really well presented or really poorly presented. Both are like a very, very mixed bag, essentially.

-Dark humor but also attempts at heartfelt moments- Drakengard 3 does this significantly better IMO. Especially Two's DLC. Fuckin love Two's DLC, watch it on YT or emulate it, dude. Anyway, what it does for each of them is kind of reflect the protagonist for one thing- asshole who isn't actually pure evil, and for another it presents a world view that is cynical with a sweet and humanistic core. Like, yea the world sucks but there's parts of it that don't. Love stories like this lol.

-Mostly one-dimensional characters, with a few exceptions

I'd say there's differences, too, DUH, I mean these are two completely different franchises, but the big one is that Drakengard 3 does what it sets out to do better. It doesn't try to be anything it isn't, doesn't claim to be these things, either, it simply is. Duckman seems to think of itself as more of an intellectual show, but it really, really isn't. It's weird because the personality of the show itself is very similar to the main character... It has slips of mysogyny when it tries to criticize it, and a lot of outdated offensive humor that doesn't work anymore, which is... that's how the main character is lol.

[aehno]

Pointless drabble about a show I like

Duckman was a show that I was obsessed with for a while

I watched it in my first year of college, and it's just. Really, really unique to say for the very least. I lowkey kinda crushed on the title character ngl and you cannot judge me because this is tumblr and I know for a fact you, dear reader, have crushed on worse. Worse than even a bespectacled yellow creature who is shaped like a dehydrated toilet.

I mean it's interesting, I really like this character, even if he's not the best at being what he is. He's this perverted, bitter loser who has turned to hedonism after the death of his wife, who he had a codependent relationship with that the show never explores the flaws of and I really wish it did...

He really, really loved this woman, and was shown to be a better person with her around, or at least happier. But with her death, he's just fallen apart. He thinks he can't parent his kids properly without her, and has turned to drinking and pornography to fill whatever hole's in him now. The women he meets in the show also leave him by the end of an episode, meaning he'll never properly replace her. So yeah her death fucked him up bad.

We see that he also has a bit of a Freudian excuse. His mom was neglectful much like he is now and wished she could do better as later revealed, and his father died when he was young, and was also a bit of an asshole, too. So, yeah, the guy had shit parents, meets this woman who LOVES him really deeply, and suddenly he feels completed, he's loved and he loves her back. They start a family and that seems all well and good and then his wife suddenly dies. She says, QUITE LITERALLY IN HER WILL that she does not trust this man with a family, and so she gives her twin sister Bernice custody of the kids. And what we also see here is that he mirrors his parents a little- death of the spouse causes him to become more neglectful, but there's one difference: now the kids have a competent parent. A compelling idea that is also barely explored.

Bernice could have been a better character. So she's this harpy of a woman. An absolute BITCH! She treats Duckman like garbage because she views him as vile and morally repugnant, a poor influence on the kids. She encourages them to bully him like she does, and Charles and Mambo seem more willing, while Ajax is a bit more innocent and oblivious. She does clearly want what's best for Duckman, and in her defense, he can be pretty bad sometimes. So it's a compelling conflict but we don't see much beyond "they hate eachother's guts" and Bernice can be super over the top sometimes, to the point that it isn't really a realistic portrayal of a lawful good asshole, and I wish they did better. Also her resemblance to his wife but not acting like her at all is SUPER interesting as well.

Anyway I guess I'll talk his other relationships now, too whatever.

Duckman and Cornfed are gay, there I said it. Gay. There is probably some internalized homophobia on both ends considering that they both seem more interested in and comfortable with girls, that being said Duckman is definitely a lot more shameless about his bisexuality, though this might just be because he's desperate and horny and so he has an excuse he can use for himself, while Cornfed definitely is a bit more reserved about... that and prefers to pursue girls as a result. You can say I'm headcanoning but uh

Yeah.

Some fucker beat me to this. It's not even subtext, it's just text. This shit is Revolutionary Girl Utena but for boys.

Anyway those are probably the most compelling things in the show, notice how I'm mostly talking about the lead character here. He's kinda the most interesting one. The other guys are neat, like Cornfed, but like, generally speaking most of the cast isn't very developed.

You got Duckman's kids, he tries to be a good parent sometimes, but is pretty neglectful other times, always chasing immediate gratification and not really knowing how to be there for them. He feels bad about his state but never does anything about it. Charles and Mambo resent him, and he can't relate to them because they're smarter than him, and he really feels bad about what's happened with Ajax, as he barely spends time with him but relates to him a little bit more with how stupid he is.

I completely forgot until now that Bernice's mom is in a comatose state and communicates exclusively through farts. Why, oh why is this where my autism goes.... oh right it's because I have a fetish for pathetic men and Duckman is literally every man I like at once and I should kill myself.

There's also King Chicken. NGL I'm not a big fan of this character, he only has one good episode, and it's the dinner party one (best season 3 episode and probably the only reason you should even bother with season 3 tbh) He is Duckman's worst enemy, vowed to ruin his life after Duckman bullied him in high school. Pretty funny premise. In the best episode it's revealed that Duckman only bullied him because once he was out of the picture, the bullies turned on him instead. And then King Chicken's fuckass wife tries to make them not be friends anymore after they seem like they're about to be because she likes her current situation, where she feels like she actually has power or something idk it was kinda vague. Also Duckman and King Chicken are kind of gay much like Duckman and Cornfed. Wish there was more to say about that alas there isn't really much I can even so much as recall....

Funny how much "they're kind of gay" there is in this fucking show huh. It's sadly a bit behind in other ways, a lot of transphobic shit in there actually, some of the character designs and jokes are, anyway bleh. Weird how the show makes fun of gross hateful people and humor with the title character and then turns around and does that. I think some racism, too, though we mostly see it in the videogame I won't even bother with because it looks bad...

Seems kind of relevant that I segway into the last characters I really remember at all, who are gender neutral, Fluffy and Uranus, who are meant to be neutrally politically correct. Overly saccharine and trying to help Duckman be better, and the running gag is he brutally murders them to get them to shut the fuck up. OG Happy Tree Friends Pmuch. Idk it's a funny bit, and I like how over time they get more and more sick of Duckman, even snapping a few times. It's interesting to see him try to expect more in return from them in dire situations, and how they often end up turning on him. Really emphasizes his self destructive nature, and how he doesn't even realize it sometimes.

Like what the fuck why is this character so compelling I'm probably the ONLY PERSON ON EARTH who thinks this and it's all because of a fetish I have for men that are like him.

I think the only reason more people don't really feel that interested in him or the show is because it's kind of bad sometimes lol. I'll focus on the character. At his best, Duckman's an oddly endearing little shit and at his worst he's grating to watch and you wonder how this garbage even aired to begin with. (You kinda see it in the video I put up there about him and Cornfed being gay for eachother.) In his worst episodes, Duckman is a very exaggerated version of himself, downright annoying and not charming at all. It's a shame because I find him weirdly relatable.

Like, he has no filter, no shame, and is a very unstable individual. He's disgusting, openly so, and he makes bad choices, does bad things, but he has a heart, he is capable of love. He's aware that what he does is wrong sometimes, and he tries to fix it sometimes, but it never works out. He refuses to listen to help. He thinks he's right in some ways but he hurts because nothing he does will ever satisfy him. The things he does to be "happy" or "feel good" are empty and hollow, and the ways he tries to find love always fail (About Face, the Friends parody one I related to even though it was bad.) He's desperate for it, too to the point of foolishness (the Elliot one I forget the name of where he's getting manipulated by a sycophant). Like, it's really, really not often I see characters like this. Because that's ME IM LIKE THAT HE'S LITERALLY MEEEEEEEEE

TLDR I want to write my own Duckman revival with yaoi in it. Also the show's ending was BAD and an obvious set up for a twist if the show was continued and I'm lowkey fine that it didn't because that last season WAS NOT GOOD.

Happy Halloween

[aehno]

I keep thinking "oh god I just posted cringe" and then I remember I'm quite literally on the dedicated "cringe posting" app

Whatever cringe I posted, there's something 338% cringier than it out there, I mean consider all the morally repugnant stuff people have said out there.

Not that I'm a saint, either, but GEEZ, those motherfuckers really do make me look like one.

[aehno]

Intro I guess

Call me aehno. I'm a girl, I have cooties, watch out!

I have a lot of interests but I'd rather not consider myself a part of any fandoms. Whenever I join any it uh, never really goes over too well! I'm just not really built for those kinds of spaces so I think it's best for me to keep my distance. That being said I'm not NOT open to making new friends, I mean, I'm generally quite lonely to be honest... So, while fandoms are a NO for me, individual friends are a yes :-)

Anyway I do a lot of original art and writing. Don't draw NEARLY as often as I write, and it shows lol. I'm also a dogshit writer despite doing it all the time but it is what it is lol

Edit:

Remembered how many minors are on this app. I'm over 18 years old, just gonna put that out there. I post stuff that reflects that. Discussion of adult themes (yes, that kind), violence, and generally disturbing content may be found on this blog. While I'm not your mother, I personally would advise against looking at this stuff if you're a kid. Please stay safe online.

(also... for fellow adults: if you want to creep on me, go away. I'm not interested.)

[aehno]

my tastes in men are a spectrum

Also they're all socially inept and easily flustered not just the guy in the middle. Tis more fun that way.

[aehno]

me when i snap and say a bunch of objectively correct information:

shoutout to C418 (one of minecraft’s composers) for just fucking snapping recently on twitter

[aehno]

im only like seven episodes in wtf happens in this show

[aehno]

anthy is the best utena character because she has a pet monkey and keeps snails in her pencil case.

[aehno]

weak effeminate loser boys, save me

[aehno]

10/18/2024 prompt

Write a story in the form of diary/journal entries about a secret or confession

10/18

I want to get a few things off my chest today. Long time since I've written. Lots has happened. Two years ago something kind of bad happened and uh.

It's my fault I think. I started it. Saying all those things about myself... I had it coming to me, when one of the people listening was a dude and the other someone completely powerless. She looked kinda disappointed. Shook her head and sighed my name. I knew I was being kind of an idiot, too but I didn't really think much on it.

I just wanted

What did I want actually? I don't know come to think of it...

Well yeah he did ask for alone time with me and like. It was pretty uncomfortable. Anyway the next few times it happened; cause it happened again... and again. And again.

Nobody knew he did that but nobody knew I did that either. It kind of got out when he started taking out the knife. He said he liked that, sort of a situation that seemed fairly life threatening. He wasn't actually going to hurt me but neither of us really believed him when he said that.

Funny thing is I sort of saw it as an out. Like I'm not normally around knives, and I definitely don't normally have them around my throat. It took me a while to kind of get used to the feeling of it against me, and I started to ask to just feel what it'd be like if it did cut into me. So he cut it into my skin. Slightly. I said I wanted to work my way up to something else. And he was fine with that.

People would ask me where the cuts came from if they saw them so I started to cover them with all this clothing. It's just knife play, that's all it is. Anyway. I was getting used to feeling pain and I wasn't really a fan of it to be honest... as a potential out. No, I didn't want to be the one getting "hurt" physically if we were to do this right.

I asked him if for one day I could try to take control and he said yes, so I did and I asked to use the knife and he said yes and I was like holy shit am I actually going to be do this.

LONG STORY SHORT I CUT HIS THROAT. I FUCKING SLIT THIS DUDE'S THROAT. It was a quick motion of the blade. Here I was thinking he used my trust in him against me but nooo actually maybe it was me. Maybe it was me who did that. Because I just killed him, which is worse? Murder or what he was doing??? Uhh.

Fuck actually that's a hard question to answer, diary. Umm. What do you think? You're not sentient but you have an answer somewhere in your pages, don't you?

No of course not. This is my first and only day writing about all this shit.

I'm guilty of murder. I just told everyone it was a suicide. That he slit his own throat for being such a piece of shit except I left the part about him being a shit out. They believed me because he was the type of person to take his own life, not a very stable sort.

But I just killed a man like

I mean thank God he's out of my life but am I a bad person is this whole thing my fault, diary????

Uhhh.

Yeah fuck I don't even know the answer to that.

[aehno]

10/16/24

Show how an object’s meaning can change as a character changes.

This was my crucifix. I had it since I was young. Where did it go all these years, I always asked myself. I always wore it when I was little, then one day, I just didn't see it anymore.

He... took it away from me and I couldn't find it.

I thought it was gone forever.

It gave me hope, and then it felt like I had nothing.

Nothing anymore.

I look at it now and I...

I

I want to puke.

Only bad things

Only bad things

nothing but bad things

Tomorrow

The day after

a week

a year

I

Am I a bad person?

Why did it take me so long

to realize

i

I turn the golden cross in my hands. There is no God.

Nothing watches over me.

If He did then all of this would mean something?

What do you want from me????

I throw my crucifix at the wall.

It breaks in half at the force.

Of course it broke. It's old.

Old things tend to break.

Am I...

No.

I'm not even that old.

Only 21. Just legally able to drink starting only...

however long ago that was.

I don't get how someone like that would give me something like this.

This thing I just broke.

He gave it to me.

And he never touched it until that one day.

I ran over a puppy this morning.

I didn't look back.

I always wanted a dog.

But I don't know if a dog would ever...

They're dogs, dogs like every body!

I went to the park tomorrow and I saw one. I walked up to it, wanted to say hello. It barked at me, I ran away.

Did it think I had something on me?

Why do even the animals hate me so?

My friends said goodbye to me tomorrow.

I saw it coming.

It was me, I did it. It's always me, never anyone else.

I hurt people.

I'm a failure.

Do these words even mean anything anymore?????

I think I seek pain solely to feel something familiar.

If I'm not worried about anything, then SOMETHING is wrong.

Time's passing by a lot more slowly next week.

Minutes feel longer.

I'll sit down and fade away- or try to- by sinking into meaningless colors and noise from my computer, and the microwaved dinner is still spinning around. But get out of my room and sit in there... it's still going.

3 minutes, and they feel like an eternity.

3 minutes of wasted time.

Time.

We only have so much of it.

And it's slipping through my fingers faster than I can keep track of it.

I'm killing myself slowly, with every choice that I make.

When will I fade away completely?

I wonder.

The record spins. This record hurts me.

I don't know why I always play it.

Maurice Ravel. Pavane for a Dead Princess.

I have nothing but bad memories with this song.

I sit back in my bed and try to masturbate.

To the song that hurts me most.

I am such an idiot.

Why am I doing this?

A painful act,

to a painful song.

what am

i

even

doing

Should it even hurt so much to penetrate myself?

Am I doing it wrong?