#and stupidly impulsive
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someone hit me over the head with a hammer, and knock me the fuck out, so my brain will shut the fuck up
#literally can’t stop feeling like i’ve completely fucked it all beyond repair#like i’ve messed with something that didn’t fully need messing with and maybe i was being crazy and didn’t need to say anything#it just doesn’t feel the same and i keep going back and forth on what to do and if i do like her and if i do wanna be something with her#and i know i know i need to give it time#but my brain is going a mile a minute and i can’t help but listen to it#it was nice and then i got scared and now i hate everything#i’m annoyed at her but i know it’s not her i’m really annoyed at#ugh idk i need sleep#i need to not do anything rash#and stupidly impulsive#(will absolutely do something stupidly impulsive again)#so again we’re back to knocking me out with a hammer#pretty please?
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i think one of the reasons why i'm so giddy about how buck's infatuation with tommy has been played by the show is because i want buck to be stupid in love with someone again. like i'm not gonna pretend buck being bi and with a man now is not an allure in and of itself, this fandom has always been dominated by mlm shipping so idk why that's thrown people's way like an accusation, but personally i, the number one fan of how buck looks when he affectionately kisses someone and how he watches them when they're talking and how he strokes their hair just casually and how he goes out of his way to just adore them, want to see him be insanely in love again. it's been soooo long since abby and like i didn't even care about that relationship that much but i literally tear up thinking about how much he loved abby sometimes, man, like just the way he loves, you know? and i wanna see that again, fuck, because while it's controversially if bucktaylor doesn't have any fans i'm dead yadda yadda here on my part, we haven't seen buck be sooo infatuated and adoring with her like he was with abby and he couldn't have that with ali, natalia, or lucy either and goddamn i just want to see buck be in love again
#and obv i love how they set up tommy to be potentially to be the person who can love him back as he deserves but the allure of#evan buckley down bad about someone is sooooooo serious for me i want him to be stupid about it#i want him to do the big hot air balloon gestures with someone again#and i want him to use the words in love with someone again#and i want him to look at someone with heart eyes like never seen before#and even just his crush on tommy delivered so much on that maybe for the first time since s1 to this degree#and i want MORE#i want him to be his full unbearably earnest painfully sincere stupidly impulsive buck self but bc he's in love#911#bucktommy#evan buckley#tevan#kinley#mimi.txt
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happy yaoi day
I had to draw them OBVIOUSLY because it’s their special day!! also please don’t take this seriously this is supposed to be a very stupid joke-y drawing I am lowkey embarrassed of myself orz
og by @/Kupahdraws on twitter !! ^.^
#mxmarsart#trafficshipping#this is so dumb#I now have three drawings of my fav c!impulse pairings smooching stupidly#I win I think#boys kissing TAKE CAUTION#clock duo#clock duo fanart#impdubs#double life#double life smp#double life fanart#trafficblr
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if I think about this too long I spontaneously combust
#theyre the father son duo of all time#literally like theyre just so stupidly special to me#bart allen#max mercury#impulse#flashfam
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Young Justice Konbart where they learn that all of young Justice can be Bart’s lightning rod, but Kon’s his main one after an event and they only really notice when their aging starts slowing down because they’re young and they should be aging! But they’re not! It’s been two years and Kon’s comes to an almost standstill, even his beard isn’t growing back as fast as it once was. Kon groans because yes it’s neat and cool and I love you too but both him and Bart have weird ages already and nope we’re not gonna try to factor this into how old they are. We are picking a number and sticking to it, damn it. Damian starts to outgrow Tim and he blames it on Bart, and not how Bruce is taller than his actual genetic father. He also agonizes over how he’s gonna tell his boyfriend “oh hey my speedster friend is accidentally slowing my age down a bit, whoops” and Bernard rolls with it so well it gives Tim whiplash. And Cassie is just happy because this all means she keeps her favorite people for longer than she expected.
#bart allen#tim drake#cassie sandsmark#conner kent#kon el#impulse#wonder girl#Robin#konbart#timber#bernard dowd#I read somewhere that speedsters age slower and that their significant others are sometimes affected#Bart loves all of young Justice but his relationship with Conner is precious#and Cassie deserves to keep her stupidly mortal friends for as long as possible
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Team friendship shares one braincell between them and contrary to popular belief, Kitty does not get it the most. They all share it equally (which leaves at least two ppl stupid at a time).
#perrito uses it for emotional intelligence but the rest of the time is no thoughts head empty#puss actually does come up w a lot of strategic plans but is also terminally orange so…#and Kitty uses it to keep the group on track and focused but the rest of the time is stupidly impulsive and rash lol#a wonderful group dynamic#puss in boots#puss in boots the last wish#kitty softpaws#perrito#team friendship
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i’ve realised with my skizz now being an enderman hybrid he’s gonna be like. stupidly tall and have really long limbs. but honestly he’s already really tall and afaik he likes hugs so. longer arms to hug more friends at once i guess
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Starting to feel the acidic creep of art burnout today. I want to commit to drawing something for myself to help alleviate the burn...we shall see how that goes.
#personal#the stress impulse to do something about my stupidly low income is also very compelling -.-#but i need something selfish
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Head in hands... maybe wip wednesday tomorrow....
#my impulse control is gone#I'm already writing another fic....#and this one is so stupidly soft and gooey
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slight rant)))
is it weird that i like to burn things? i found a lighter in my backyard and i’ve had it for a month but i’ve only started to use it now
i just burnt some paper and i did it outside because the smell, and it’s weirdly fun? i went back to my room but my stupid thoughts wanted me to do it again
soooo i did. lol
i burnt too much things and i tried to fan out the smell AND spraying perfume (it did. not work)
unfortunately i got caught and now my lighter was taken away dojfehgfhsajdbf
so i either find another lighter that my dad leaves around or buy one myself
why did i try to lie my way out HAHGAHA
#random shit#this is actually so funny#i tried to stupidly lie my way out of it#eventually gave up#i couldn’t stop laughing and smiling helpppp#when was i bad at lying?#is this concerning#my sister kept asking if i was okay lol#ARSON!!!#?#idk man#ok bein real here#it felt better than sh#could’ve done this than cut but nope#impulsive thoughts#arghhhh#too many tags sorryyyy#this is something i keep between me and tumblr
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things are going well with the kitchen. my father-in-law was here to help again today, and this time I decided to stay in my room and let the two of them work on the kitchen on their own. it was just too annoying the last two times.
that was the right decision. my husband called me over a few times when they had questions and even that was almost too much. but anyway, I'm glad he helped (again), and we'll be done soon I think. that'll be nice. I'm really excited to organise all the cabinets!
I got a lot done in my room, too. one wall is almost entirely taken up by Billy shelves now, and there's a huge Kallax on the opposite wall (it's three stacked on top of each other actually so it's a 3x6 - it almost reaches the ceiling and there's also stuff on top of it). it's just about enough (I have too much stuff, I know). did a lot of organising; I think I've unpacked all my boxes now, unless I find more in the storage room - which is currently so full that I can't check :')
unfortunately I did too much yesterday (built two shelves for my room, and did a lot of sawing with a stupid tiny hand saw because it's the only one I have), so my arms and especially my hands hurt very very badly last night. the pain kept waking me up. then, it disappeared at some point during the day. I immediately forgot about it, and only remembered when it started hurting again even worse than before 😭 soo tonight is gonna suck.
#I think if I can do things tomorrow I might even clear my table/desk finally! that would be lovely#I also sorted my rainbow high dolls by colour finally and it makes me stupidly happy every time I look at them#basically an entire 80 cm and 40 cm Billy shelf are just those dolls tbh 😅😅😅#it does take away a lot of storage space but it looks so pretty and makes me happy so whatever 💖#it's also great because now I have to consider if a new one would even fit instead of just buying them like I did for a while#there's only a few more that I want to get and I'm not in any hurry to do that. that feels very nice. not that frantic impulsive need to ge#as many as possible as fast as I could#my brain really sucks sometimes#annnyway. I think having all my lovely things nicely organised so I can actually get to them and see them and not forget I even have them i#really gonna help#and having it all in my own room with my desk and my bed like. well like a kid I guess 🙃 is also really nice#it would be nice if we had a house with plenty of rooms but we don't so this is the best solution for everyone ❤️#annnd now I've got to try to sleep 😬 scary.#personal
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late night oc thoughts again!
#cosmo rambles#dimension cross edition#been thinking a whole lot about gear and source lately and of course RGB#DC too who is also part of the crew as the medic#and ive been working out their sort of connections to one another a little bit more here and there#gear and rgb are very much siblings and they about equally run the dimension cross crew#rgb takes more of the leadership position while gear usually takes the level headed backseat role but#ive found it increasingly funny to consider rgb might be the more normal and less impulsive one of the two#and by that i mean rgb is impulsive for sure. but she's less likely to do something horribly dangerous that would affect everyone#while gear may make a rash decision that might. endanger everyone. just a little bit. because he's either mad or impatient#gear absolutely normally is sort of the voice of reason and he is a very reasonable and wise guy#but he's also very strong and might actually be the one to pick a fight if he's angry and defensive enough#rgb... well. she's fought sonic before. stupidly. acted like a supervillain after finding a chaos emerald to convince him to fight her 1v1#then had to call time out because he almost kicked her ass into next year but. yknow.#basically. your honor they are silly#on the other hand source is kind of like the third sibling but also This Weird Dog We Found. Can We Keep Him#and then Wait we Don't Need To Ask To Keep Him. We're Keeping Him.#source is unnerving outwardly but they're pretty quiet all things considered. things considered being They Are Slime Mold in a Fursuit#but of course their whole thing is having the simultaneous best and worst comedic timing. we're in a space bar?#big angry space bikers? source is going to walk up to them and annoy them and then the whole dimension cross crew has to deal with a fight#or get kicked out of the bar. whichever comes first#dimension cross as a crew is also only four guys and they are not that organized. it's more like a road trip with general roles. in space.#interdimensionally also.#DC... their personality isnt really.. defined yet! they're somewhere between mad scientist and anxious nerd. they are just a woerm.#and by that i mean they're a worm off da string but also cybernetically enhanced. and the enhancements they installed on their own.#naturally DC is very skilled as a medic both for cyborgs and fully biological things alike#they're kinda just. rotating source trying to figure him out. endless fascination but also trying to avoid them getting hurt#i gotta think about DC more tho. theyre the least developed member of dimension cross and i feel bad#also got a new member of the crew going soon enough . .. .. im excited to think about the interactions between them all LOL
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Oh yeah I was planning to post this lil thing earlier but then forgot lol
anyways heres the first few bullets I made for the story
most of it is stuff that I added in the first chapter bc I never rlly made a long time plan/goal for the fic, so no spoilers :) but still fun to look at again
#writing woes#I wrote that and then just got an impulse to write some beginning exerpt. and now we're here#side note I have no idea what to call the fic bc I made it a stupidly long title for the jokes#like? HWTPTFWMS?? PTFWMS???#i'll figure it out
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tfw you’re a walking disaster
#prolly loooooooong and incoherent rant incoming pls stand b y#so like… i very stupidly embarrassed myself to the point of tears at work today. but it wasn’t even my fault i s w e a r#a bunch of us ordered food via this delivery app for lunch bc the food options around the workplace kinda suck#but then this person who ordered a similar order to mine ate my food by mistake ಥ‿ಥ#and bc i have no impulse (and volume) control… i… immediately ran out of the break room to voice my complaint to the dude who ordered it#unfortunately for me… the big boss of the workplace was ✨right there✨ as well and she popped in to 👀👀 in on the situation too#thanks to that… my complaint of disbelief got way out of hand (with the boss plotting to exchange my food with someone else’s and stuff…)#the dude who ordered the food also repeatedly offered to buy me something else instead which was big aaaa i’m s o sorry for blowing this up—#and so i… got so embarrassed that i cried. i think my face remained bright red for an entire hour. which made it even more embarrassing…#as for the coworker who stole my lunch… i extorted the price diff and offered to enact ✨physical violence✨ (read: i cracked my knuckles)#so i’m content… maybe. (ʘ‿ʘ) my grudge will never disappear. (ʘ‿ʘ)#but then one of the interns screwed up biiiig time a couple of hours after that so maybe(?) this incident won’t remain in my boss’s memory?#i hope so at least… lol. _(:3 」∠)_#it is suiyoubi my dudes#(using my wednesday tag bc half an hour is pretty insignificant as a whole)
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my consultant thinks meds wont help me so im gonna come off my meds to prove to people what im really like off them so they can see they actually do help me
#im wondering if i have something else as well as bpd bc ik meds arent proven to help bpd but they help ME#like i def have bpd i meet all 9 of the criteria but i think i might have something else too#anyway im insane and execute my impulses and thoughts incorrectly and stupidly#my toxic trait is i always have to prove my point even if its to my detriment
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Tags from @latinowolverine
#the sinuses are also a mess#but on the other hand your entire sense of self exists because of elecrical impulses between cells#you carry genetic memory from untold generations#your heart just Does that. the beating thing?#you’re comprised of trillions of teeny organelles whose purpose is to keep you alive but the processes by which they know how to do that-#-are unknown#it can be both#you are fearfullh wonderfully and stupidly made
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