#and still. i love all 16 kids i don't want anyone to leave :(

[jackredfieldwasmyjacob]

man i missed ot 🥲

[drmaddict]

Patchwork

Summary: Henry becomes a father... Just not how he thought it would happen.

Word count: 2.160

Warnings: mentions of domestic violence, lots of fluff

"Six?"

"Six."

"Six children?"

"Well not biologically, but.... yes."

(Y/n) looked uncertainly at Henry. The blue eyes stared at her in disbelief.

"You have six children living in your house?"

She sighed. That was always the point at which every guy ran away.

"I understand if that's too much for you," she began. 

Henry shook his head still in disbelief, but grinned. "Do you ever sleep, or do you just get used to  sleep deprivation?"

She smiled cautiously. Didn't trust the peace yet, though. "To be honest there are two kids one 9 and one 12 and four pubescent teenagers."

He regarded her quietly across the restaurant table. "Are you okay?" he asked, "Did I say something wrong? I know my reaction may have been a little surprised, but I didn't mean to cut you in."

She relaxed a little. "It's just... Most guys run away as soon as they hear that, and that would really be .... a shame."

Henry smiled and shook his head. "I don't run away. I hate cardio."

That made her smile.

"But you'll still have to tell me how you get to adopt six children and teenagers.... And that as a single woman in her mid-twenties."

"It's like cats. Somehow I guess it doesn't stay with just one." She tipped her wine glass. "The first one was Jason. He was the son of my neighbors at the time and would come by my apartment every so often in the afternoon until his mother got home. One night he showed up at my door bleeding. His father caught him with make up and beat him black and blue. It took a while, but then he could move in with me. He's graduating from high school this summer. He has even been accepted to a make up school. He wants to go into film as a makeup artist." She smiled softly. "He's come a long way."

Henry curtsied in shock at the story. "Fatima is 16 and has been disowned by her family for not being a virgin. She has ambitions to study law. I don't think anyone will stop her from going to Oxford. Mike is almost 16 - next week - and grew up without a father and even though his mother tried everything, she has high level schizophrenia. She has been institutionalized and now lives in care. We visit her whenever her condition allows it. Mini - Emilia ran away at some point. We don't really know what happened. She is 14. Kamon is 12 and comes from a refugee family. His parents have been sent back to Thailand. We are trying to get a visa for them. Until then, I'm kind of his foster family. He and Mike are not officially adopted. Both love their family and do everything for them, even if they can't always be there. And Lilly. She is 9. Her family died in a car accident. No family member has been found."

She was silent for a moment and continued to contemplate her wine before looking up and looking at Henry.

"Henry... I understand if this is too much, but.... they've all been through enough in their lives and every single one of them has their reasons for making it hard for new people in our family. So if, against all odds, you say yes to this circus, know that it's not so easy to get out of it either." Her gaze became insistent. "If you leave me, that's one thing, but I won't do that to the kids."

Henry, who hadn't said anything all this time, took one deep breath and reached for her hand lying on the table. He smiled. "If they're willing to meet me, so am I."

Henry stood in front of a gigantic house. His house was already big, but this one surpassed it. Despite its size, however, it didn't seem ostentatious. It looked cozy and inviting. The word 'home' popped into his head.

Shouts and frantic footsteps sounded from inside. 

He pressed his thumb on the doorbell. Immediately, everything went silent.

The door opened with a jerk. A dark-skinned boy stood before him, beaming at him. From the colored eyeliner, he concluded that it must be Jason.

"Hello Mr. Cavill." he said in a noticeably loud voice.

Immediately, frantic footsteps sounded and he saw scattered bodies running through the background.

"Hi. Henry will do." he smiled.

"Come on in. I'm Jason. Ehhm... (Y/n) isn't here yet.... Mike had... They had to go to the hospital."

"Is he okay?"

Jason shrugged. "Normally, he is. Boxer you know... Tea?"

"Gladly."

He stepped into the house. It was swept as if empty, yet the traces of life could be seen in it. Self-painted pictures. Photographs. Various equipment for hobbies. Shoes in different sizes. And that was just the hallway. Henry let himself be led into the kitchen and sat down on one of the chairs. None matched the other.

"Mike had a match this morning. (Y/n) said he's already patched up. They're already on their way here."

Henry smiled. "With something like this, you should take your time."

Jason set the steaming cup down for him and sat with him.

Henry accepted it gratefully. "It's very quiet."

"Be glad." was all he said, sipping his tea. "I don't want to chase you away, but it's like human history here. The periods of absolute peace are relatively negligible." He ran his index finger over the rim of his cup and grinned. "And I'm one of the worst divas here. Just a warning."

The front door opened and a rumble sounded, followed by an amused giggle. "Sorry about that." a boy's slurred voice rang out.

"That's okay big guy. Come on off to bed." he heard (y/n).

"I'm fine!"

"That's because they drugged your ass off so you can't feel your face."

"Where's Ammy?"

"Mike you need to rest now. You can call Amber when you're in bed."

"Who are you?" A blond boy in a gray sweatshirt and swollen face looked at him from the doorway, aghast. "Who's that?" he turned to (Y/n).

"A friend Mike. That's a friend. Jason stop filming him!"

Still grinning, Jason put the phone away and turned to Henry. "Welcome."

"What's the dog's name?", Kamon asked him.

"That's Kal...like Superman." he smiled at the shy boy.

"I like Batman."

Henry rolled his eyes playfully. "Oh yeah, why?"

"Batman watches out for kids nobody else wants. Like (y/n)."

Henry smiled.

"I told you not to rummage through my things!" yelled Emilia down the hall.

Henry and (Y/n) sat in the garden each holding a book.

"I wasn't rummaging. I was getting MY eyeshadow, that you stole from MY room!" shouted back Jason. "It's not my fault you leave your lovey-dovey fanfictions lying around in the open like that!"

"You have no business in my room!"

"That being said - Tom Holland? Really?"

A splintering sound rang out.

"I guess that was the vase, then," (Y/n) sighed.

"I would have thought she was more of a Sebastian Stan type," Henry reflected loudly.

"How long has she been sitting there?" whispered Henry to (Y/n).

"Since this morning. She hasn't looked up from that book in five hours."

Fatima sat at the large parlor table surrounded by books, writing notes and index cards.

"That's impressive. Scary, but impressive."

Kal walked over to the table and nudged her.

"I have to study! Sit!" Kal obeyed immediately and sat next to her chair.

"She'd make a good drill sergeant," Henry grinned.

(Y/n) sipped her coffee. "You've never seen her in exam stress."

"This isn't exam stress?"

"This is relaxed studying."

Henry looked in shock at the girl with noise cancelling headphones. (Y/n) grinned into her cup.

 "They need more glitter!" determined Lilly.

Henry reached for the can of edible glitter and sprinkled more of it on the unicorn cookies.

"Like this?"

The little girl looked thoughtfully at the tin. "Like this."

Henry bowed theatrically and slid the tin into the oven. "All for your majesty." The girl giggled.

(Y/n) just watched with a smile.

Jason and Mike sat on the sofa grinning together at a tablet, each with headphones in their ears.

This wasn't normal. Even Henry knew that by now. He wondered if they were both watching porn. He'd been that age once, too. He knew what that was like.

(Y/n) came into the living room and looked over there shoulders at the two of them. She laughed uncontrollably grunting, but immediately suppressed it and came over to him.

No porn, he concluded.

"What about these two?" asked Henry, pulling her to him on the sofa and onto his lap.

"Just a movie," she grinned.

"What movie?"

She continued to shake her head with a grin and waved it off. Henry was very reluctant to be shut out. So he sat (y/n) down next to him on the sofa and stood behind the two teenagers. When he saw his younger self in a black hoodie grinning and holding up a tarot card, he groaned in annoyance.

The boys snorted indignantly. Henry looked defiantly at the display.

"Oh come on Sweet Cheeks! What's wrong?" asked (Y/n) with a laugh.

He looked at her with an intensity that promised she would pay for this yet. She could hardly wait.

"What's with the hair?" laughed Jason.

"It was in back then!"

Henry stood in the kitchen making coffee while there was the familiar bustle around him. Kamon couldn't find his second shoe, Lilly needed a certain T-shirt, Jason occupied the bathroom, Mike shoveled eggs into his mouth, Fatima just drank the coffee straight out of the pot, and Emilia hid behind a book.

He could hardly believe that over a year should have passed already.

They had grown close to his heart. He didn't want to miss the chaos at all. The last time he left for a job, it seemed almost eerie how quiet it was that night. He had told (y/n) about it over Skype. She'd just grinned and said those feelings liked to sneak up on one.

"Do you think they want me in their life?" he had asked her uncertainly.

She had only smiled. "Wait a minute." She disappeared and came back a moment later with a piece of paper. She held it up to the camera. "Lilly drew this for you today." It showed eight roughly drawn people. Under each one, in capital letters, was the name.... except for (y/n) and him. It just said Mum and Paps. Henry stared wide-eyed at the screen. "Please act surprised when you come back. It's supposed to be a gift.", she put the paper back down. "Are you crying?"

Henry had remained silent. He had only nodded.

He smiled at the memory. The picture hung framed in the hallway. It had become Henry's favorite picture.

"Car one go!", (y/n) called down the stairs.

The three mismatched teens got up from the table and walked to (y/n)s car.

Henry packed the last of the snacks into Lilly and Kamon's lunchboxes before he, too, packed them into his cat and drove them to school. Jason had a little break from make up school and stayed at home.

Henry came back earlier than (y/n). He waited patiently for her in the kitchen. Looked at the mismatched chairs and the photos on the wall. Photos that now included him. (Y/n) came shortly after him and dropped into her usual seat next to him. She reached for the waiting cup of coffee and dropped her head on his shoulder. "How did I do this alone before?"

Henry laughed.

"I mean it. Don't you dare leave! I can't take it anymore!"

Henry just smiled at her. He got up from his chair and knelt down in front of her. He pulled a small box out of his pocket and held it in front of him. "I wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life anywhere but with you and the kids. (Y/n) will you marry me?"

She looked at him with shocked eyes. "Are you sure?"

He nodded with a smile. "I want to take Lilly to her dance lessons. I want to be there when Jason gets his first jobs. I want to see Fatima come top of her year at Oxford - in law AND medicine." They both laughed. "I want to cheer Mike on in his competitions. I want to watch Emilia find the romance she secretly wants. I even want my heart to break when Kamon is reunited with his parents. I want to be with you. I want to be with the children. I don't want to run away. I want to be part of this family."

"You already are," she smiled, crying. She pulled him close and kissed him.

"Does that mean yes?" he grinned.

"Yes you idiot." she laughed.

[blacklegsanjiii]

So I've had a thinking about mom!robin and child!sanji au and was wonder what are some of your head canons! Maybe robin picked up a 7-8 sanji when she was 16 or 17. This could maybe fit under nico!sanji but where robin actually adopts sanji. Feel free to make as fluffy or as angsty as you want I'm just looking for ideas :)

The first ever Nico!Sanji was them staying together and working in Baroque Works together and she did find him around eight. Instead of sending him to the Baratie to work. However I love the idea of Nico!Sanji and Robin just having a child/parent dynamic of overprotective Robin who found Sanji lost at age eight, starving and alone and she's not in much better shape at age seventeen. Sanji is so small and fits so well into Robin's arms and Robin who hasn't had companionship in so long, he holds her hand or one of them as they walk in deserted parts, when they camp for the night Robin wraps him in many arms and holds him close to her.

I feel like Robin would rarely let Sanji out her sight for years to come, between the Navy and whoever may or may not be after Sanji she likes to play it safe. Sanji is eager to please and follow her every word. She sings to him and tells him stories because she will not lose him like she lost everyone else. Sanji lets her, the first set of soft touches that he's had in years. He still flinches sometimes, involuntarily. It's not that he wants to, afraid he'll offend her or hurt her feelings. That she'll leave him, he doesn't want her to leave him, he likes her a lot! She's so nice and loving and caring, like his mom! He accidentally calls her mom about a year after they start traveling together and when Robin starts crying he thinks he fucked up and apologizes and says he can go! He's been alone before it's fi-!

But she cuts him off and pulls him to her and just says she's happy, hasn't been this happy in a very long time and that she would like it if he wants to keep calling her that. He nods and says he would like to, if she really doesn't mind. They stay sat together for a while and he does get used to calling her 'mom' more often than not. She loves it and smiles so fondly whenever he does it. They're inseparable basically.

When they make it to Alabasta, Sanji is fifteen and Robin is twenty-four, the coup has already happened and they begin to work for Sir Crocodile. Miss All Sunday and Mister Prince working together. It weirds some people out this teenager is calling this woman who definitely isn't actually old enough to be his mom 'mom' and she goes along with it and smiles so fondly to him. Crocodile doesn't bat an eye, the kid cooks well enough to make him not care and Miss All Sunday is on the hunt for Pluton so he really doesn't care as long as he gets results. If anyone does try to pick a fight with Sanji they do have to deal with Robin though, it doesn't happen often but Robin is known for being protective of him.

Sanji still cooks, he cooks for all of Baroque Works when he sees them or they're around and not off fulfilling their duties. He still wants to find the All Blue but he fights with his hands and he listens to Robin as she explains the difference in the poneglyphs to him. Their both multilingual and he knows how to read some of the language the poneglyphs are written in but not all, it's a tricky language to learn to read let alone put together. The other members of Baroque Works tend to tune them out when they start speaking other languages they don't understand, Crocodile sighs in irritation every time it happens.

Sanji is sent to Little Garden to help Mr. 3 ahead of the Strawhat's arrival and he finds it rather interesting that they're helping the princess of Alabasta, finds it hilarious the princess had to get help from pirates but then he watches them take down Mr. 3 and well, it would be nice to have company on the way back to Alabasta so he offers the Ever Pose in exchange for a lift, and he offers to cook for them as well. Only to be roped into the shenanigans of Drum Island and shit is his mom going to be pissed when she finds out he broke his fucking back kicking these idiots out of the way of a fucking avalanche. He's going to be in so much trouble, he's going to get glared at and talked to in several different languages oh no.

When they're in Alabasta, overthrowing his boss for pete's sake, he avoids Crocodile because he'll be in trouble otherwise, great trouble, but Crocodile falls and Alabasta is free. To keep appearances he pulls a gun on Robin on when she boards the ship, him having been fully invited into after Drum Island. She smiles sweetly at them and during the night, during Sanji's watch after the galley is cleaned, she finds him and they speak in a language only they know. She strokes Sanji's hair as he leans his head on her shoulder. No one really clocks it as they sail together, at least not until after Ennies Lobby and Water 7. When they get the Thousand Sunny and Robin is free for the moment and wants to live and has the freedom to live now. I feel like Usopp stumbles upon them sleeping together, just passed out curled up around each other and he fucking tells everyone their dating. Despite the visceral reaction from most of the crew. Robin and Sanji are asked about it at lunch the next day, Franky wiggling his eyebrows and then bawling when they say they're not an item, far from it. Everyone does notice they are close but can't figure out how close. They hear them talking in the other languages and falling into a mix of languages that no one else can understand.

After Thriller Bark and all the parties Sanji finds her and it's rare, he's taller than her now after all, but she pulls him into her lap and cries quietly as she pets his hair. He doesn't say what happened, but she knows he's keeping whatever promise he made to the swordsman but still. She doesn't begrudge him, never, not after what happened with Cipher Pol and Aokiji. Not after working in Baroque Works for a warlord. When he apologizes later she shushes him and makes sure he's calm and the tear stains have calmed before he leaves. She's so soft, still creepy but he's creepy right back. But then everything keeps going wrong and they're separated on Sabaody. The pacifistas, the quick vanishing and appearing in a random place, rushing to get back together, only to fail, only to see the note in the paper, only to rely on whisperings to see how their crew is doing. Ivankov and Dragon seem to be questioning of the relationship between the two of them after their meetings when they have tea with Koala and Robin. Robin simply says Sanji is her son which makes Koala lose it as Iva looks confused and Dragon shrugs it off because yeah, sure.

When they all come back together she checks Sanji over and nods approvingly in private, fussing over him publicly would only lead to the crew questioning them again when that wasn't the case. They could just come out and say it but they don't need to, not right now. Their convictions towards each other are strong and unyielding. Which is why Robin also goes to WCI, she doesn't dissuade Nami from going but does ask that she give Sanji grace. Nami gives her a questioning look but agrees hesitantly. There's so many questions going through her mind but she leaves without asking any, Luffy and them promising to bring Sanji back to them. When the crew is headed to Wano it's Usopp who asks Robin why she asked Nami to give Sanji grace for leaving. Robin clarifies that it's not for him leaving but what he's going to do while gone, what he feels he'll have to do to protect the crew. Zoro asks why she didn't go if she cares so much and Robin says every parent must let their child make mistakes, she's no different and that if she goes she will not listen to Sanji or Luffy and it could end just as badly as Ennies Lobby if she had. When everyone, Heart Pirates included, ask what she means when she said 'parent' she laughs and says she and Sanji's relationship is much more of a mother and her son than siblings, he was so small at age eight that it was easy to fool people while they ran and it became less of an act over time. Franky asks what Sanji would do while he's gone and Robin answers that she wouldn't put much past him, they were in Baroque Works for a while and have been running from the Navy for most of their lives so there's not much they wouldn't do to protect those they care about. Everyone just stares at her and Robin laughs lightly to herself and bids them all a goodnight and goes to bed.

When they're all in Wano again and Sanji is concerned about what Robin will do to him but she simply hugs him and says she's happy he's safe. Sanji nods and hugs her back and Franky is bawling saying it's SUUUPER to see mother and son reunited after everything that has happened which makes the rescue team balk at them in surprise and start questioning them. It's a long and awful conversation because Sanji didn't really tell Robin about his family either. When he's done though Robin simply hums and says it's a good thing she wasn't there because she would have defied his wishes because hell hath no fury like a scorned mother.

[griffin-girl-r]

Don't go

Created: 10.10.2023

Finished: 14.10.2023

Edited: 14.10.2023

Age: 16

Word count: 1,904

Warnings: Crying, Throwing up, Danger, Explosion, Fainting

Request: Yes (Wattpad user)

Pairing: BlackHill

Note: This story will not have a part two

—

"See you tonight, kid!" Your Mom, Maria, said, kissing your head

"Love you, baby!" Your Mama, Natasha, kissed your cheek

"Please don't leave!" You sobbed, tugging at the sleeves of their suits

Natasha turned her head towards Maria and shared a worried look with her wife.

This was the first time, in your 16 years of life that you reacted like this.

Not even as a baby or small child have you refused to let your mothers leave for their mission.

"What's got into you, Y/N?" Maria chuckled in an attempt to light up the mood, but uneasiness was present in her voice

"I don't want you to leave!" You chocked out in between sobs

"Honey, it's just a small undercover mission." Natasha cupped your face and wiped away your tears "It's no big deal. We do this all the time. We just need to gather some intel and we'll be back by dinner."

"I have a bad feeling about this." You tried to reason with the two women "Just stay."

Maria laughed "Nice try, kid." Then ruffled your hair "Better luck next time."

"Why wouldn't you listen to me?!" You shouted

The couple isn't sure what reaction they expected but, for sure, wasn't this one.

"Sweetheart..." Maria sighed, trying a new approach "Nick would kill us if we didn't go."

"And you know it." Natasha continued Maria's sentence

"Mama, please." You kept pleading "Just listen to me."

"We'll be back by dinner." Maria quickly kissed your head again before grabbing Natasha's hand and dragging her towards the Jet

"Mama!" You screamed, falling to your knees "No! Don't go!"

—

"We shouldn't have left her like that, Maria!" Natasha said worriedly, pacing back and forth

"Babe, calm down a bit, would you?" Maria sighed from her seat "She's 16. We can't keep treating her like a baby anymore. She'll be fine."

"But she is a baby!" Natasha threw her arms in the air "She is our baby, Maria."

"Natasha, honey, I know what you mean, but what I'm trying to say is that she long surpassed the toddler tantrums era."

"I know, but still..." Natasha let out a deep breath, sitting down beside Maria "I'm just worried about the state we left her in. It's not like her to react like this."

Maria extended her arm and wrapped it around her wife's shoulders "I am worried too. This is the first time she reacts like this but we can't just stay home and not go to the mission. We have a job, Natasha."

Natasha rested her head on Maria's shoulder "You're right. I can't stop my maternal instincts that are screaming at me because I left my daughter crying without comforting her first but I also can't run away from my duties. Just like you said, we have a job to do."

"That's the spirit!" Maria cheered, placing a kiss on the redhead's forehead "Now back to business, we have some intel to gather. They won't even know what hit them."

"That's because they don't." Natasha stated unimpressed "What's the point of an undercover mission if they knew we were coming beforehand?"

Maria allowed her shoulders to fall as she looked to the floor "At least I tried."

"Focus, Masha." Natasha stood up and walked toward the command panel of the Jet "We have 10 more minutes till we'll arrive at our destination and we can't risk being spotted by anyone and blowing our cover."

"Tasha, relax." Maria smirked, sinking deeper in the seat "As you said it, they don't even know we are coming."

"Maria, you're taking everything too..." Natasha began but was interrupted by the ringtone of her phone

Natasha frowned when she picked up her phone and saw Clint's name on the screen.

Maria, sensing Natasha's uneasiness, stood up from her chair and speed walked towards her wife, worry etched on every inch of the commander's face.

"Clint?" Natasha answered her best friend's call, her voice slightly trembling, as she put the phone on speaker

"Nat, it's bad!" Clint spoke in a rushed tone, worry present in his voice "It's Y/N."

"What happened to my daughter?" Natasha asked, every muscle of her body becoming tense

"Y/N... Umm..." Clint mumbled, trying to find the right words

"Talk!" Maria shouted impatient when Clint didn't give them an answer

"You both need to come home, like, right now." The man said "Y/N hasn't stopped crying since you left. She even threw up a few minutes ago and I don't know what more to do to get her to calm down. Please return to the compound as fast as you can."

"Clint, we can't turn around just like that." Maria began but a scream, on the other side of the call, interrupted her trail of thoughts

"Mama!" You screamed, choking on your sobs "Mom!"

The next thing the women heard was silence followed by a loud noise.

"Y/N, no!" Clint shouted, dropping his phone as he rushed to your side

"Clint?!" Natasha yelled "Clint, what is happening?!"

"Y/N passed out." Clint breathed out, as his breathing picked up its pace "Shit! F.R.I.D.A.Y., call Bruce here immediately!" The mothers heard him saying

Maria snatched the phone from Natasha's shaky hands "We're coming back!" She firmly stated before ending the call

The brunette commander turned around and walked to the pilot's seat.

"Agent Hill." Fury's voice echoed throughout the Jet as Maria connected her comm to the plane's speakers "Agent Romanoff."

"Nick, we're turning around." Maria grabbed the yoke, turning the jet 180° around "Y/N is sick. The mission's over."

"The mission is over only when I say it's over, Agent Hill." Nick stated "Until then, you will keep following my orders, or you and Agent Romanoff, will be suspended for an undefined term of time from work."

"I don't give a cramp about your suspension, Nick." Natasha sat on the co-pilot's chair "Our daughter is feeling sick and we will go home to take care of her regardless if we have your permission or not."

"Agent Romanoff, you must understand that-" Fury's voice suddenly became silent

"That's better." Maria sighed relieved, ending the transmission between the Jet and the base

Natasha reached over and grabbed Maria's hand, a small smile tugging at the corners of the redhead's lips.

"Thank you." Natasha whispered

"Always." Maria brought Natasha's hand to her lips and kissed the back of it "Now let's go home to our daughter."

With a nod, Natasha turned her head and looked out the windows of the Jet, every passing second feeling like torture for the worried mothers.

—

"Mama? M-Mom?" You muttered as your eyes opened in the slightest, slowly regaining your consciousness, as a headache hit you full force

"We're here, kid." Maria's voice was heard as she slammed open the door

"Baby, are you okay?" Natasha speed walked to your side and sat down on the bed "How are you feeling?" She brushed a strand of hair behind your ear

"You're home." You said, your voice barely above a whisper as you forced out a smile for your mothers

"We are, honey." Maria kneeled next to your head, placing her hand on your forehead "Uncle Clint told us you didn't feel too well so we came back to take care of you."

"Thank you." You mumbled, enjoying the coldness of Maria's hand on your forehead

"We're so sorry for leaving you like we did." Natasha ran her thumbs over your knuckles "But we are here to take care of you and have a lot of cuddles together."

"Really?" You asked hopefully "You and Mom aren't going back to the mission?"

"I think we won't be going back to the field for a while from now on, kiddo." Maria chuckled, a hint of sadness present in her voice "But that's a talk for another time."

Your mothers shared an understanding nod before they both climbed into your bed and cuddled with you.

"We love you so much, little bear." Natasha pulled your head closer to her chest

"We love you, Y/N." Maria wrapped her arms around her girls as she rested her head on top of Natasha's

"I'm so happy to have you both here with me." You sighed contently, closing your eyes again, but this time for a nap

Somewhere in between the arrival of Natasha and Maria and the family cuddles, Clint, who had been by your side since you started feeling sick, slipped out of the room, allowing you and your mothers to have some privacy.

"We're here." Maria whispered in your ear

—

It was a few hours later when Natasha and Maria decided to turn the TV in your room on and turned down the volume as you were still sleeping, too exhausted from the emotional burst you had that day.

"I hope she feels better when she wakes up." Maria whispered, putting the news on

"Me too." Natasha whispered back, stroking your hair "I don't know what got her into this state but I'm grateful we turned back and stayed with her."

"You can say that again." Maria smiled and looked down at your sleeping face

Both women sat in a comfortable silence that was interrupted only by the soft murmur of the TV.

All until Natasha suddenly frowned as she intently watched the news.

"Masha..." Natasha breathed out, confused

"What is it, babe?" Maria whispered, looking from your face to the redhead's face

"That's the base where we were supposed to go in today for the intel gathering." Natasha explained shocked, pointing toward the TV

Maria looked at the news that was playing on the TV and was shocked to learn that the news was about a building, apparently the building they were supposed to be in today, that blew up only a few hours ago, leaving no survivors.

"This can't be..." The commander mumbled before grabbing her phone

A quick call between Maria and Fury answered all the questions the couple may have had.

There was an intruder between S.H.I.E.L.D.'s agents that found out about Natasha and Maria's mission and delivered a warning to the enemies, who decided to blow up the building and every evidence that was stocked inside of it, hopping to kill the two female agents in the process.

Luckily for the married couple, they turned around exactly 6 minutes before the explosion, that was threatening to claim their lives, happened.

Maria and Natasha stared at each other with wide eyes filled with shock before they looked down at their daughter who was still peacefully sleeping, one question lingering in their minds.

How did you know about what was about to happen?

Was that the reason why you couldn't stop crying and tried everything to make them stay?

"Maybe it's like Peter's spider-sense." Maria muttered after a few minutes of silence

"Feeling the danger?" Natasha asked "I doubt that."

"Based on what we found out, I say it could be a posibility." Maria said, still in a state of shock

But no matter what they could say, one thing was clear.

You saved their lives today and they will forever be grateful for that.

How did you do that?

Not even you have the slightest idea how.

Maybe it was just the strong connection between you and your mothers that allowed you to feel they were in danger.

Or maybe not.

You'll never know.

—

Permanent taglist: @mmmmokdok , @natsxwife , @lovelyy-moonlight , @lizlil , @observeowl , @circe143 , @justarandomreaderxoxo , @theunchosenonee , @darkstar225 , @ravensinthedaylight , @dannipotatoo , @halstead-severide-fan , @daggersquadphantom

[stanpinessecretlover]

You guys seem to have forgotten what fandom really IS. While I admit some people in this fandom are crazy mean and stuff, you guys have to realize that there will ALWAYS be toxic people in a fandom. I haven't seen that many "toxic" chnt fans, and you shouldn't let them ruin that for you anyway, you don't have to interact with the fandom. The Chnt fandom isn't "toxic" its just so small of a fandom that one or two bad people make the whole fandom look bad. The issue with the fandom is that it's still growing, every fandom goes through the process of toxicity and stubbornness and anger, that doesn't mean you should cut it out entirely. The only part of the fandom that REALLY sucks right now is Tumblr, but that's just the way it is with most fandoms. Tumblr is a fandom space where most fandoms develop.

Leaving the fandom because of a few bad apples isn't the answer, every fandom goes through an era where people will draw the characters "wrong" and then in later years people look back at how cringy they were. And stop yelling at younger teenagers for listening to camp here and there. The fandom is so small you cannot afford to scare people off.

"oh but Chnt is 16+!!!" I've seen more mature 13 year olds in this fandom than I've seen mature adults. Stop gatekeeping, they aren't hurting anyone, sure they shouldn't join the official server because it's 16+ but gatekeeping is stupid. Do you not want Blue Mayfield to get listeners? Queer kids have VERY limited spaces and representation and camp here and there is PERFECT for that.

Stop whining about how much you hate the fandom because that just contributes to discourse and toxicity, instead just ignore the toxic people and create your own happy space where we can all learn to love and appreciate this beautiful work of art created by Mayfield. A fandom wont stop being toxic because nice people are leaving it. A fandom wont stop being toxic unless you contribute to making it a safe space.

Thank you for listening to my yap session

[tsibeyantiger]

I had the inconvenience to read a post where it said that percabeth was a bad ship because they don't seem to LIKE each other and I'm like??????????? How can anybody not get THAT? Like seriously, think about it for just a minute.

Imagine you are Annabeth. Your family pretty much abandoned you. Your newfound sister died so you could make it out alive. When you were just seven years old. It is hard for you to trust anyone because you keep on losing who matters to you. And you know about the prophecy and that you won't leave camp until the kid from the prophecy shows up (if Chiron hasn't said that, I'm sure Annabeth was able to connect the dots). The kid who's gonna die when he turns 16 to save Olympus OR destroy it. So you're NOT supposed to like him, even though you know your pathes will cross. You expect him to be a son of Zeus, which would be fine. You can be his deputy in battle, just as your mom is Zeus', and when he dies, it's gonna be "Farewell, my lord, it was an honour to fight under your command". Not very delightful, but you are used to worse.

Then Percy shows up. And he is a son of POSEIDON. Not at all what you expected, yet it's your destiny to interact somehow with him. What if he turns out evil? What if you're the one who HELPS him destroy Olympus? Okay, no, no, no, stop. You are NOT SUPPOSED to like him AT ALL. But- he is kinda charming. Not the arrogant, wrath filled rowdy you'd expect. A troublemaker, yes, but he's trying to be nice to everyone, always roots for the underdogs, doesn't care about your parents' rivalry and is incredibly skilled yet totally unaware of it. You go on the quest. You safe the world. And you realise he is kind and brave and just and will never turn evil. This is the hero who will die while defending Olympus. And you're the fool who couldn't avoid falling in love with him.

Fast forward. Percy keeps on doing annoyingly cute and noble stuff you wish you never saw because it makes you like him even more. The photo. Tyson (you don't like him, but it IS wholesome that Percy chose to be his friend when no one else was). The moment he gave Clarisse the fleece. Then you get kidnapped and he travels across the whole country to save you, even lifts the sky for you. And then he says he chooses the prophecy and you give up all hope (you've spend hours and hours thinking whether you'd want Thalia to die or Percy, and you feel so guilty for it). He doesn't even know the full meaning, but you are just sure he'd make the same choice if he knew it means death, all to protect a little boy he hardly knows.

And you're like: Fuck this. Too late to run from your feelings. You're already in love. Your heart's gonna be broken anyways. So, you decide to try your luck. If you're gonna miss him for a lifetime, it shall be worth it. And THEN, suddenly, Rachel shows up. Like, this is no average teenage love triangle drama bullshit. OF COURSE, Annabeth explodes like a volcano. Any of us would.

Meanwhile, Percy doesn't know shit and is just hella confused. He doesn't know the content of the prophecy, doesn't know much about Greek mythology and whenever he does, he doesn't care. He just gets the impression that Annabeth hates him, yet somehow seeks his company. Percy has close to zero confidence, due to him also being often abandoned and ending up as a failure and an outsider, so it's probably the second part that's harder to understand, but he tries to make the best of it. He is kind and patient, offers Annabeth his friendship and ultimately, she accepts. Not for a second he'd imagine she might be in love with him, Because This Is Not How People Behave. From his perspective, Annabeth tends to act like a bitch out of nowhere, sometimes she pushes him away, sometimes she wants him to come closer. He accepts this somehow, but of course he gets frustrated sometimes. Who wouldn't?

But still he never even thinks about going low contact. He never questions their friendship, he always wants Annabeth as close as possible. And people say they don't LIKE each other? Please!

[vesteneris]

I'd adore any finnick hcs you have!! i love how you draw him

awwww, thank you Anon, I'm really happy you like it, I'm very happy with his design too

and here some headcanons, like I don't really have much, but I'll put some!

He can't read well. I think career training is like special schools and doesn't focus on things like reading, writing, history, etc. as much as they do on physical training. I would say like (polish) ballet schools. I also believe that in most districts that allow what is basically child labor (D4, D8, etc.) you only have to go to school until you're 16, you can continue it if you want until you're 18, for example, to become a teacher, clerk, or do other white collar jobs, but most kids leave school as soon as possible to go to work. So combined with the fact Victors don't really need to continue school after winning, he never really taught how to read very fast and correctly.

He didn't mentor Annie, and he doesn't really mentor very often, nor does he like it very much. He also gets some sort of guilt as his older with just interacting with any male tribute from D4 bc he feels like bc of him any other boy can’t really win bc they are not as good looking or skilled or have the personality good for entertainment or are not as young as he was, so they really don’t have good chances to begin with.

When I did that old comic, I had a storyline for him that he had a conflict with another D4 victor, mainly about the fact that the other winner was mentoring a D4 girl who went to the games with Finnick, and he was sure that they (he and Mags) should put all the support and choose to help the girl win, and because of what Finnick did in the arena, the girl died. So the old victor is still a little salty that Finnick is not the winner he wanted (connected with how much D4 is career district)

his family lived with him in victors village, but bc Annie’s family wasn’t allowed to move in with her (according to Capitol psychiatrists, "their presence increased her hysteria and mental instability") to her new house he moved to her house to live with her after less than year of dating

He’s not that much taller than Annie, I headcanon that she is like 1.78m and he is like 1.86m

He was the one who cut Johanna’s hair short when it was most styled after her victory (I'll post that fanart someday when I'll be done with all that school bullshit)

he has 3 ways of dressing: dressing just for himself (very baggy, oversize clothes, not shaving at all, looking kinda messy), dressing himself for capitol (still more of an oversize fit, skirt over pants, more creative than previous one, but kinda modest and trying to „hide” himself, face shaved and hair combed) and totally capitol (mostly see-through clothes, no visible body hair, makeup and nails done, hairstyle)

He didn’t really had a real hobby before started dating

He’s annie-sexual. Like maybe it is my romantic soul speaking, but I can’t really see him attracted to anyone beside her. He would be like this one guy on TikTok answering „my wife” after any question. What’s your type? My wife. How would you rate this person? 0, cuz they’re not my wife. If you could be with anyone who would you choose? My wife. He would love her if she was a worm, he would love her in every lifetime. She was his first real girlfriend and first real everything.

Remember when I first get into fanfics after reading books for the first time and seeing that he is usually described as the person who has to do everything and is involved in so many things (especially the 2QQ plan) my reaction was like „oh he for sure does drugs to get all of this shit together” and I still kinda like that headcanon, but now I would say that he is taking aderall as if they are gummy bears

He was such a brat, but eventually grow out of this around his early 20s

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

A Tale of Love, Death and Maggots, part 20-G

Parts 1-15, 16-G, 17-G, 18-G, 19-G

Not-Athena let out a great roar, her larvae rippling as though struck. It was working. It was working itwasworkingitwas-

“Fine! Infuriating creatures. Keep your lives, you are hardly worth it. I will leave. Be grateful for the mercy I have shown you,” Not-Athena announced. 

Oh, how my heart leapt! I would have seized the opportunity immediately if it had been me. To be happy ever after with Mrin, I'd bite the bullet and accept that Athena and Brett weren't coming back. Shit, it would be enough for me to just have her. I wanted to save Brett, sure, and it wasn't fair to leave Athena behind either, but even escaping with our lives was more than I'd hoped for.

I opened my mouth to tell Not-Athena so, to thank her for the mercy and hug Mrin and let the world be good. But my love silenced me, and took another step forward.

“Bullshit. Give us back the kids. Now. Don't make me ask again, Lurker.” The last word came out as a sneer, reeking of arrogance I hadn't thought Mrin had.

“Tch. You presume too much of yourself, little witch. Your love is not enough to spare more than two. Direct that blade at me all you want: You shall not get a better deal.” Not-Athena, the Lurker, stared her down.

Still, Mrin didn't budge. “You really wanna risk it? Really?” Her lips twitched. “So be it. If pointing my sabre does nothing, perhaps slashing it might help.” 

Before Not-Athena could react, she lunged. Quick as a flash, she drove the sword into the thick of the maggots. As one, they screamed, a wholly terrifying noise, like a banshee and a ambulance siren had a demented love child. I cringed from it, stumbling back and clamping my hands over my fingers.

Mrin, somehow, remained unaffected. “I warned you,” she yelled over the din. “Now give us back Athena and Brett!”

The swarm pulled itself back. “Never,” Not-Athena snarled. “You will regret trying to fight one such as I.” 

“Like fuck I will,” she said, pulling back her sword for another go.

That was when it all went wrong.

I'd known from the start that it would. Nothing went right in this hell. Nothing at all. That was the only reason I was prepared when something flew at Mrin. 

I dodged the swarm as it descended upon her. They were flies, thousands of them. It made a horrible kind of sense. Of course there would be flies when there were maggots. Nasty, disease spreading flies. They flung themselves at Mrin with reckless abandon, not caring if she shook them off. Their little feet and mouths dug into the exposed flesh from the maggots' attack.

She should have been able to push through it. Mrin was strong, after all, far stronger than me. She should have brushed them off with a single stroke. She should have overcome them, and plunged her blade into Not-Athena's heart, slaying the beast.

But she didn't. Instead, she flung her sword down and curled up, screaming in sudden agony. It was worse than any banshee, that sound of hers, for it pierced me to the very core. Before I could think straight, I was on my feet and running to her.

Taglist:

Taglist: @coffeeangelinabox, @dorky-pals, @calliecwrites, @kaylinalexanderbooks, @shukei-jiwa

@thewingedbaron, @pluppsauthor, @cowboybrunch, @wylloblr, @possiblyeldritch

@tragedycoded, @finickyfelix, @urnumber1star, @ratedn, @ramwritblr

@vampirelover890, @possiblylisle, @illarian-rambling, @the-ellia-west, @differentnighttale

@evilgabe29, @glitched-dawn, @rivenantiqnerd, @dragonhoardesfandoms, @abiteofhoney

@drchenquill, @everythingismadeofchaos, @dimitrakies, @beloveddawn-blog

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[rogue-durin-16]

MISHAPS AND SILVER LININGS

Request: maybeee dialogue prompt 53 with Nixon x female reader?? But maybe kinda angsty also??? (anything u write is great so 🤷‍♀️)

Summary: after all the tragedy endured during the war, nobody would have guessed one last mishap would help the stars align for Lewis Nixon and Y/n Y/l/n.

Prompt:

53. "I remember kissing you. Why do I remember kissing you?"

Pairing: Lewis Nixon x Reader

Genre: angst/fluff

Tags:

Requested by: anon

Band Of Brothers: @fernando-jpg @chubbypotatoepie @tvserie-s-world @clumsy-wonderland @lordndsaviorwinters

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog @amourtentiaa @comfort-reads

Warnings: alcoholism, swearing (that's it omfg)

A/N: writing for Nixon was surprisingly easy? I high-key had fun with this one. Thanks for the request love. Remember that requests are open rn so feel free to send yours in. Meanwhile, enjoy this little fic <3

Band of Brothers masterlist

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

A dull light crept through the curtains of the flat Regiment had billeted me in when Nixon finally stirred.

He shifted on my bed, a slight groan escaping his lips the moment his barely open eyes hit the few rays of sun striking the mattress. He had one hell of a hungover.

During the last year of our lives, Lewis Nixon and I had worked side by side across Europe practically at all times— which meant I wasn't exactly a stranger to his drinking problem. Since we came back from that jump over Germany though, it had escalated to a different level.

'He's been demoted' I had disclosed to Dick as soon as we linked back up with Battalion HQ.

'Demoted?' Although his friend had questioned it, no explanation was needed. He already knew. 'Okay, I'll talk to him'.

I don't think anyone could blame him. It all had become too much to handle, specially if one had lost conviction in the reasons we were still fighting this war.

I knew he had lost it. As if it wasn't obvious enough, he had blurted it out one of those nights we stayed awake for one reason or another. That exact night everyone had stayed awake, I believe.

That damned patrol back in Hagenau. We had fought Sink not to push forward that mission, but there was no use.

"This is stupid." I mumbled, arms crossed and my eyes fixed to the other side of the river.

The full moon's light reflected on the snow. In any other setting, I would have found it beautiful, but with fifteen Easy Company members being sent on a suicide, the landscape was far from that.

"Glueing yourself to the window won't help them."

I shot Nix a tired glare and pushed myself off the window in order to walk towards him. "They shouldn't be out there."

"None of us should be out here."

"What do you mean?"

"Why the hell are we here at this point, Y/n/n?"

I didn't have a response.

"Don't you wanna come back home already? To that lovely husband of yours." He teased with a bitter half laugh.

"You're funny." He didn't know about the mail. How could he know? "Don't think he'll be there when I come back."

"What?"

"He sent a letter back when we were in the Bois Jaques." I explained, snatching the glass of whiskey Nix had by the typewriter. "Said if I wasn't home by New Year, he'd file for divorce."

"You're kidding." Nix sat straight in his chair when I didn't laugh. "Who in their right mind would leave you?"

"The man I married, apparently." The officer struggled to meet my eyes. He knew by now I didn't want pity. "Guess he doesn't know why we're still out here either."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

He sat up slowly, squinting against the light, one hand coming up to clutch his head. It didn’t take long for him to notice me slouched on the bedroom's armchair. His gaze darkened, panic flashing across his features.

“What the hell…” he muttered, groaning softly. He rubbed his face and looked around, as if hoping he could piece together the memory.

I watched his eyes darting around like he was still scrambling to make sense of everything. The awkward silence stretched between us until he finally spoke.

“I… I remember kissing you.” He ran a hand through his hair, looking almost angry with himself. “Why do I remember kissing you?”

The Night Before

The knock at the door was unsteady, clumsy, like he could barely remember how to make a fist. I pulled on a sweater and padded across the cold floor, half-expecting to find someone delivering bad news. Instead, there was Nixon, eyes glazed, swaying slightly as he tried to focus on me.

“Jesus, Nix…” I murmured, instinctively stepping aside as he staggered into the room. The sharp, sour scent of whiskey clung to him, familiar but stronger than usual, almost suffocating. I shut the door behind him, hands already moving to steady him as he slumped into the nearest chair, his gaze unfocused.

“What on God's name are you doing here?”

He looked up at me, his face a blur of exhaustion, frustration, and something else—something deeper. “She’s leaving me, y'know,” he slurred. “Kat's divorcing me."

"Jesus, Lew." I poured him a glass of water and kneeled down. "Now?"

"Took… took the damn dog, too."

"She took your dog?!"

He snorted with glassy irises. "Everything. I think... I knew it would happen, but… didn’t think it’d feel like… like this.”

I swallowed, feeling the heaviness of his words settle in my chest. “I’m sorry, Nix,” I whispered, unsure of what else to say, until I remembered the words he said to me back in Hagenau. “I don't know who in their right mind would leave you.”

It was soft, just like the featherlight touch of my thumb brushing away a rogue tear before it could reach his jawline. It sounded dangerously similar to 'I wouldn't leave you'. Maybe that's what he had meant back then.

He let out a bitter laugh, his head falling back against the chair. “Yeah, well… doesn’t matter. Not anymore.” He closed his eyes, breathing out, then looked at me with a strange intensity, like he’d finally worked up the nerve to say something he’d been holding onto for too long.

Something I both craved and dreaded to hear.

“Do you know…” He trailed off, blinking as if the words kept slipping away from him. “Do you know how hard it’s been? Pretending I don’t… pretending I don’t want to kiss you every damn time I see you?”

The confession knocked the air from my lungs, and I stood there, stunned, heart pounding too loudly in the silence that followed.

“Nix…” I began, voice barely a whisper, but he just shook his head, his eyes shifting, unfocused and pained.

“I wanted to kiss you from the very first second I heard your voice.” he said, voice rough and broken. "I remember how beautiful you looked the first day we worked together, how smart you were and how I just wanted to... But Kat- I couldn't... Do that to her and your- you..." He pinched the bridge of his nose, "I tried and... for what? For this?"

My lips were sealed with panic but the glint in my gaze and the liquor in his veins spurred him.

"Tell me it's just me... Tell me..." He did his best to lean forward without lolling too much. "Everytime it almost happened... Just say..." His look dropped to my lips, too intoxicated to care how obvious he was. "The 'what if's haunt me when I stare for too long..."

I couldn't say I didn't feel exactly like that. The cautious dance we were in was long overdue —the brush of a hand, a whisper closer than necessary, that drink we shared in Mourmelon that almost made us cross the line—, but it had been a silent mutual agreement not to act on it.

Before I could process everything, before I could find the right words to stop it without pretending I didn't feel the same, he leaned forward, his hands gripping my arms for support as he pressed his lips to mine.

It was lousy, desperate, filled with something raw and aching, and I didn’t know if it was my own hesitation or his unsteady hands that made it linger just a second too long.

He staggered back, eyes half-closed, almost as if he wasn’t sure if he’d imagined the whole thing. His hands dropped, and he swayed, his breath slowing as the exhaustion finally took over. His head slumped onto my shoulder, and he exhaled, a quiet surrender.

“Nix?” I whispered, looking down to see his eyes shut, breaths now slow and even.

The confession hung between us, unanswered. And I sat there, his weight against me, tangled in everything I wanted to say but couldn’t.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The panicked question floated in the air, heavy with something I couldn’t quite name.

"Y/n." I looked down, unable to meet his eyes. "Why do I remember kissing you?"

I cleared my throat and did my best to sound somewhat nonchalant about it. “Well, maybe because you kissed me, Lew.”

"For Christ's sake..." He groaned, rubbing his face with his palms. "Just what I needed, great. This is great."

"You drank too much." I tried to excuse him. Emphasis on 'tried'.

"I always drink too much and this never—" Another frustrated groan, this time louder, escaped him.

"I've never seen you... That drunk." The statement was tainted with worry; a worry I had felt the night before and didn't have time to voice. "You looked... awful. I had to drag you to the bed." I stole a peek at him while I explained, catching a mortified expression on his part as he sat up, legs hanging from the side of the bed as he was now facing me. "I get it. I really do. It's hard enough out here. Hey—" I kneeled down to meet his casted down face, much like the night before, but with very different circumstances. "You saw me in Noville. I wasn't... I wasn't myself. And it wasn't even-"

I pondered how to put my thoughts into words without making it worse. The best way to explain he wasn't all that bad without making a fool of myself.

"I didn't... Love him, y'know? Charles, I mean." At the name of my soon to be ex-husband, Nix seemed to regain the will to meet my eyes, which now recoiled from his. "Not anymore, at least. But it felt... The letter felt like a gut punch— I felt like... my life slipped through my fingers. And when stuff like that happens, we do stupid things. Because we feel lost."

"Is that what I said?"

"Huh?"

"That I felt lost."

I shook my head no, the realization that he didn't quite remember his drunken speech dawning on me.

"What exactly did I tell you?"

"You... Don't remember what you said?"

"No- I... What did I say?"

Suddenly eager to put distance between us, I bolted to my feet and walked out of the room. "I don't know- things anyone would say when they're drunk as a skunk."

"Like- like what things?" He questioned, his steps trailing behind me in the kitchen's direction.

"Nix, you were drunk and going through shit." Deep down, I didn't think I would be able to reason my way out of that one, but I had to try. "Don't put much thought into it." I insisted, reaching for the percolator to brew a very much needed coffee.

"What did I say? Y/n-" just as I was about to turn on the stove, he interlaced his calloused fingers around my wrist and gently tugged on it to stand face-to-face. "Just tell me how much I screwed it."

"You didn't screw anything."

"Then why can't you look at me?"

"Maybe because we've been trying not to end up here for a literal year and now this happened?"

Lew scrutinized me with fear in his dark eyes. I had seen that expression too many times, he was drawing his conclusions based on what he knew.

"Did I tell you I'm in love with you?"

Silence. Charged silence. One look was enough for him to realize he did not say that. His hand let go of me to cover his mouth while he took a step back.

Once more, I was at loss of words, which was something Nix had rarely accomplished in the time we had known each other.

"I... I don't know what I was thinking— Jesus Christ—" he exhaled the last part, an apology plastered all over him. "I'm just gonna... I shouldn't have come in the first place."

He was about to turn heel and leave. We both had done that before, more times than we could count. The difference was, there was no need for me to let him slip away; not anymore.

In a spurt of bravery, I grasped at his forearm and tugged him back, daring to stare straight into his soul while I spoke.

"You said Kat was divorcing you. Said you didn't think you'd feel like this." I began, voice clear as day. "You said you were done pretending you didn't wanna kiss me everytime you see me." He dropped his gaze, a flicker of regret in his eyes, jaw clenched tight. "You said the 'what if's haunt you if you stare for too long. You asked me if it was just you who felt like that."

"... Am I?" He recalculated the situation, shame dissipating to let me discern something similar to hope.

"Y'know what's the first thing I thought after reading Charles' letter?" He barely had time to deny with his head before I continued. "I thought 'fuck him, the man I love sleeps in my goddamn foxhole'." His breath hitched at the word but he didn't shy away from me; on the contrary, he watched my every move while my grip eased from his arm and traveled to the back of his neck. "Now tell me, are you fucking sober yet?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good 'cause I'm done pretending too."

My statement was hasty and quick. The previous night had left me too eager to return the kiss I had so desperately wanted to give him.

Months of stealing longing glances at each other fueled our need to make sure there was no space between us anymore. His arms wrapped around my waist, pulling my upper body flush against his while the kiss deepened in a way we could only have fantasized about— had it not been for those damn letters.

Who would have thought our silver lining of war would be our failed marriages?

[simplydannie]

Oooh! What if Veneer looks back on the good times he and Velvet had with Floyd like how Merida looked back on a childhood memory of her mom, remembers what Floyd means to him, frees him, and urges him to leave? With the parting being similar to how Poppy and Bridget parted.

Also, with the context of Floyd being V&V's father figure and V&V having known him since they were thirteen, I don't think it would make sense for Veneer to refer to Floyd as a little guy.

No definitely not. But I’d like think the poison of too much Troll essence alters your brain chemistry. Some reality and illusion tend to collide. Veneer would loose those memories of what Floyd really mean to him.

First of all, Brave is one of my all time favorite movies!! And omg yess!! That would be the sweetheart gesture, sweetest moment they could share! The bracelet in this story derives from the my story here :

Let Go

They did it.

Velvet and Veneer had won the Lifer Award. They were at the top, and that’s where Velvet, and their manager, intended for them to stay. But at what cost? Nearly the cost of the life of a little Troll who was once dear to them.

Floyd was on the brink of death…. There was still no sign of Brozone. Veneer surely thought that their performance at the Rage Doom would’ve killed him, but the little Troll had a lot of fight.

All this because Veneer got mad at him, because he grew afraid that Floyd would’ve really left him… so he trapped him. Now here they were, literally sucking the life out of him.

Veneer tossed and turned that night. He couldn’t sleep, as if memories were trying to come back to him. He knew at one point the Troll meant something to him. He’d have dream at night, dream about the small Troll caring for them. But those were just dreams weren’t they? Dreams about something he truly desired…. A family.

Veneer took a deep breath and finally closed his eyes, humming to himself a tune he heard a while ago. As he drifted, the dreams started coming back to him:

In this dream he awoke one morning to find a box slid under his door. He went over, knelt down and opened it. There was a note:

Veneer,

There’s so much I want to give you. So much I’d do for you and your sister, but the means right now won’t allow it. This is a little something from culture I want to pass down to you. I hope it fits. And I hope you love it’s.

Love, Floyd.

Opening the box was a bracelet, a bracelet woven together with bright colors of string and yarn. He couldn’t remember why he was feeling sad, but he felt that sadness go away. Joy came to Veneer as he put the bracelet on. He ran to his drawer and took a paper and pen….

In another dream, it was Veneer crying alone. He came home from school one day and went straight toward his room. He avoided anyone so not to worry them, but the one little person who noticed was Floyd. He silently entered Veneers room, tiptoeing to the closet where he could hear the young Rageouns cry, Veneer was 16 at the time.

“Ven?” Floyd called out.

“I’m fine! My tummy just hearts.” Veneer lied. Floyd didn’t take any chances. He pushed open the closet door. Floyd found Veneer curled up at the corner of his closet, his face hidden between his knees.

“Ven?” The small Troll crawled up on Veneers knees, placing a small hand on his head. “Ven, look at me.” Veneer slowly but surely lifted his head. “Ven! What, what happened?”

His right eye was bruised, lip split open.

“They… I don’t know they all make fun of me… why the other kids my age don’t like me. Am I really that strange? That different?” Veneer sobbed back into his knees.

“No! Don’t you dare think that! People who punish you for being who you are afraid of you. It’s because you’re different that your special.” Floyd declared.

“I just want a friend Floyd….just one friend.”

“It’s better to be surrounded by the few who love you than those who wouldn’t care. You’ll make that friend one day, Ven. I love you for who you and your sister both are.”…….

Veneers eyes bursted wide open.

He sat up on his bed. Throwing the sheets off of him, he marched to his drawer. Something came to his mind. He wasn’t sure if it was a memory, or just a dream. Opening a small compartment, he stuck his hand inside, rummaging around, wondering if he’d find it….. There was nothing. He was about to give up hope until…Veneers hand fell upon something. Pulling it out he saw it…..

The bracelet from his dream…. Only it wasn’t a dream, those were all memories. Floyd really had meant something to them. And not just a mere friend… but family…. A father. Clenching his fists, Veneer took a deep breath and walked out his door.

Floyd laid inside the encased diamond. He wasn’t sure how he survived the Rage Dome show, but he was glad that his brothers weren’t there yet, it meant they were safe somewhere. He heard the door open in whatever room he was in, too weak to look up… Floyd slowly began to except that he breath he took would’ve been his last.

Floyd could feel the diamond be lifted… he opened his eyes to see who it was, but everything was a blur. He was weak, so, so weak. The small Troll could hear a voice, faint, and familiar, but he couldn’t make it out.

Floyd felt the diamond move and shake gently. He body slowly rolled out of the diamond, on to something warm.

“Floyd?” The voice was sad, it seemed like tears were in his eyes. “Floyd. Please move. Please do something.” The small manger to turn his head slightly towards the object in which the voice was coming from.

“…..Veneer….” His words soft, barely audible. Floyd closed his eyes, his breaths becoming slower.

“Please don’t did Floyd! I remember now. I remember everything. I don’t know why I couldn’t, but I do now. Please stay with me. I’m sorry Floyd! I didn’t mean to trap you in the diamond. I was scared of you leaving me. I didn’t want you to leave.” Veneer said through tears.

The Troll made no acknowledgements, no movement, he continued just lie there motionless, breaths becoming slower and slower.

“Floyd please.” He cried again, caressing the small Troll in his hand. “I’m sorry! I-I can’t loose another one…I can’t loose another dad.” He cried, tears slowly rolling down his face. “Velvet is sorry too, I know she is. She just has to remember just like me. And she will. Please….Please dad.”

Floyd slowly opened his eyes. He turned to look at Veneer, his eyes were closed, head resting against his arms as he still held Floyd. He suddenly saw the young 13 year old he met. The curious boy who saved him and brought him in….

“I’m sorry for almost leaving you guys.” Floyd managed to say, his color slowly return to him. Veneer lifted his head, his eyes filled with happiness as the small Troll slowly started to come back. Veneer nuzzled the Troll close to his face.

It felt like old times, they were just missing Velvet… but it occurred to Veneer that Floyd wasn’t safe. No matter if he and Velvet remembered, their manager would find a way to get her hands on the Troll and the rest of his family. Veneer stood up and walked over towards a vent. Taking off the cover, he peered inside… it seemed safe enough for Floyd, they had to lead somewhere.

Sensing a shift in behavior, Floyd gathered the strength to stand.

“Ven?”

“….You have to go….”

“What?” Floyd peered down the vent Veneer motioned too. “No! Not without you. Not without Velvet. We leave together! I learned my lesson. I let you fall into the hands of that evil woman who’s done nothing but abuse and groom you!”

“You have to go. Go find your brothers…. Your family.” Gently wrapping his hand around Floyd, Veneer held him over the vent. The Troll held a firm grasp on his hand, hugging his thumb.

“You guys are my family too! I’m done leaving family behind.” Floyd hugged Veneers thumb tightly, tears going down his face. Veneer smiled softly.

“You have to let go.”

“No!” He held on tighter.

“….Im sorry.” Veneer wrapped his other hand around Floyd gently, pulling his little embrace away. He held him over the vent and let go. Veneer covered the vent so Floyd couldn’t manage using his hair to climb back up. Tears rolled down his face as he heard Floyd call out his name as he went down…

But he was free… Veneer only had to deal with what consequences lay ahead.

[anarchictemptation]

So, I've had a bit of an emotional journey when it came down to getting these trolls uploaded and, uh.I'm sort of in a venty mode, so I'm doing a read more cut just so I don't bother people (TW for Drug Abuse and Suicidal Thoughts mentioned)

It became less of "lol, look at all these trolls I've had over the years, let's sell them" to a bit of a crippling "I did this to cope with what was happening to me and this is the financial repercussions of that"

When I joined the Homestuck fandom, I was 16. A long ago ex-friend had gotten me into it because he was an obsessive fan and I REALLY liked astrology at the time, so obviously what was gonna stop me from getting into this silly little webcomic? (Nepeta my BELOVED! Leo's for life!!!)

I've never really shared this with anyone outside of my CLOSEST of close friends, but I was in a really nasty situation. My parents were on drugs, deeply into it at the time of me joining Homestuck, and were basically nonexistent at that point of my life. They'd disappear for days at a time with no sign of them coming back anytime soon, so, while looking after my little brother, I'd get lost in this fandom and obtaining fantrolls was my own sick little kick

I wasn't creative at the time to really make my own, I'd just use sprite bases and all my own guys were basic as hell, but, when I found out troll adopts were a thing, I was OBSESSED

Some oldies might remember me being EVERYWHERE back in the day on DA under the unusualKitten alias. I was on every single page I could find trying to get at least ONE fantroll that someone had posted newly in the groups. It was amazing! I could drown myself in these guys I was getting and bury myself in art of them so that I could avoid the world that I was stuck in

Honestly, without that "distraction", I probably would've killed myself years ago

It was all I had in a shit world, it even led me making a short-time friend in my final year of high school, but it was fun

And then I grew up

Some things happened that involved me being the fucking savior of my family by dragging them out of that hell with my own two broken hands only for the sake of my brother. My mom got clean, my dad died because he couldn't get clean, I had been working a job in which case they'd have stolen my money almost every time I got it (like THAT was anything new), and we were just sort of stuck in limbo for a long time after that

I was still a part of Homestuck, but I wasn't A part of it anymore, if that makes any sense. Most I done was win a spot in the For Fans By Fans design contest with my Heir's Tears submission (Only 1 or 2 people bought the shirt and, two those people, I FUCKING LOVE YOUUUU, y'all are so cool), but I was pretty much dead in the water

Until I reconnected with my bestest friend

She helped me to regain the love again, as we'd rp a lot with all our different versions of canon characters bc we're maniacs (Which will ALL be featured in MSCOTT once I get back on the ball for writing it!)

And, as I sit here today, looking back on everything that happened 11 years ago, I've realized that things are a lot different now. I'm no longer the heavily traumatized kid I was back then, I have a life outside of the fantrolls I've hoarded over the years

And, yeah, it hurts seeing a lot of these guys go, it feels like a bit of myself is leaving with them, but that's not a part of my life anymore, that was a part of HER life

Don't get me wrong, I STILL love fantrolls and still have a handful of my own that I'll fight ANYONE over, but. I think it's time to let go of a past that I don't really want to be haunted by anymore

(But I hope this explains why I generate a LOT of fantrolls and then suddenly they're being given up as soon as something's done with them, hha, old habits die hard)

Thanks for readingggg, time to go cry a bittt!

[luv-again]

@shadamytober

Today I come bearing a gift from my younger sister, who isn't here on Tumblr but was eager to participate and asked me to post her work on her behalf !

She delivers a whole lot of angst in this fic, dealing with Shadow and his grief surrounding a major character death. I don't wanna spoil too much, but it's definitely a roller coaster of emotions hehe.

Fic under the cut x

Shadamytober : Day 16 - Reverse

Shadow paced in the kitchen. He didn't know what he could do anymore. It was Amy's safe place. There would always be some sweet fragrance coming from their kitchen. Now it smelt like hell. Like charcoal. She had taught him how to cook but he wasn't well enough to do it.

He still couldn't even hold his own child without seeing Amy's face. She was everywhere he looked but he could never reach her. She was gone and he couldn't reverse it. 

Not without help, of course. 

He needed an oblivious, helpless Silver to help him with that one. Everyone had been given a Chaos Emerald each to hide from him. Someone knew him well enough that they knew what he would do if he got his hands on one. He had a little suspicion that it was Sonic who came up with it. After all, he was doing a hell of a good job at guarding Shadow and repeating the same thing. Soon enough, he'd be allowed to leave the house... and then... he'd find his way to Silver.

Shadow did a quick search around for Sonic or Rouge and bolted for the door. He made a new record of reaching the handle before Sonic tackled him to the ground.

"I told Rouge we couldn't leave you alone for two seconds." At that point, Rouge was his caretaker and Sonic was security.

"You abandoned your post." Shadow threw Sonic off him and brushed himself off.

"To change your newborn's diaper." Sonic guarded the door. Shadow glared back at him. "She's your kid. You need to start taking care of her."

"You sound like Rouge."

"She needs her father."

"She doesn't need me. My energy will do more damage and harm to her than good in my state. If she's anything like me, she'll soak my or anyone's energy up like a sponge. Besides, she has you. You're probably doing a better job than I would. She might as well be yours."

"If she was mine we wouldn't be here," Sonic remarked.

"WHAT?" Shadow lunged back at Sonic. "Are you implying that Amy's dead because of me?" It was already a well-known fact. He indirectly killed her. How was he supposed to know that much energy would kill her? Amy wasn't going to let up anyway. She pushed herself too hard.

Amy died from complications with his DNA when she was pregnant with their daughter. The amount of Chaos energy built up and consumed her. He should have known... He was created in a lab, unnaturally. There was probably more than one reason for that. He should have been more careful with Amy but he was careless and now she was gone. They managed to save their child but not Amy.

"You're right. It is my fault. She should have been yours. If I had known... I never would have risked it. Now she's gone and no one will let me reverse it!"

"Amy doesn't want you to."

"She didn't want to die!" Shadow threw him across the room.

"What is going on?" Rouge glided down the stairs. "Cut it out." Rouge placed both of her hands on Shadow's chest and pushed him back. Sonic got back up. Day after day, Sonic looked as if he was getting used to it... like it was all part of the process. His calm attitude got on Shadow's nerves.

"Give me my phone," Shadow ordered. "Now!"

"No." Shadow threatened to take off his inhibitor rings. "You won't do it. You won't hurt me." Rouge stood her ground. She was right, he wouldn't. He fell to the ground and started sobbing heavily. Rouge dropped down to hold him. She rocked him slowly as she stroked his head. "It's okay. It's okay." Some days Rouge would cry with him. He loved her, but no matter how much she reassured him, it wasn't going to help.

"Rouge, we need to talk." Sonic had come back down with the baby in his arms. Shadow immediately switched rooms to keep the distance between himself and his daughter. He was in the laundry with his ear to the door. What were they conspiring this time? Shadow heard Sonic sigh. "He needs some time out of the house, a change in faces maybe. He needs whatever it takes to help him. He's not getting better."

"He's grieving."

"He needs to start being a father."

"I know. But we can't force him. He basically offered her to you the other day. He literally told you to take his child and raise her if we left him alone."

"Yeah and I refused because he was going to stab us in the back. He tears up every bit of the house to find my Chaos Emerald. I had to give mine to Eggman. Eggman. Eggman was a far better option than letting Shadow have it. But at least I know he wouldn't let the Emerald go without a fight. Plus, he hasn't pulled any stunts, not since Amy... Suppose that's what happens when you're invited to your nemesis' friend's funeral."

"Perhaps we let him choose someone to visit. Drop him off, and relax. I get to spend some relaxing time on Angel Island, and you and the little angel here get to have some peace."

"In short, you get a holiday while I have to look after the baby. You know I have responsibilities I've abandoned too."

"She only listens to you. She just keeps crying whenever I hold her. You're all she's got."

"I know. I guess I'll just have to take her with me."

"Then it's settled. Someone else is on Shadow duty for the day." Silver, he'd choose Silver. Shadow re-entered the room with a new sense of purpose.

"I want to see Silver."

"Of course he was eavesdropping..." Rouge rolled her eyes.

"Sure, buddy. I'll get in contact with him." Sonic handed the baby to Rouge and exited the house to make the phone call. Rouge was right, the baby did start crying whenever she held her. Shadow sighed and walked off.

Although, he was one step closer to an Emerald... he'd need to say his goodbyes to his daughter, because after his plan was over, she wouldn't exist anymore. He'd do that tomorrow. He couldn't stand seeing her face yet.

💔

Shadow stared out the window as Rouge entered the car and sat there. Shadow frowned. Who was she waiting for? Sonic. Great. Sonic was coming. Wherever he went, the baby went. Sonic secured the baby in her carseat and sat himself in the seat next to her. Rouge pulled out of the driveway.

There was silence the whole drive except for the babbling of the baby in the back. She was trying to talk. Shadow suppressed a smile as Sonic failed to get her to say a fully formed word.

"She's trying to tell you something," Shadow specified.

"Oh yeah? And what's that, expert?" The baby started to cry. Shadow picked it up in an instant and leaned to face her. Shadow felt a tinge of guilt wash over him, watching his daughter cry.

"She's in pain." Shadow placed his thumb to her cheek. "Red cheeks..." Shadow slid his thumb to her bottom lip and checked her gums. "She's teething." Sonic looked at him with shock. "Got a teething toy?"

"No... I thought she was too young for teething..."

"It's been a few months, Sonic," Rouge piped up. "Plus, she's half Ultimate Life Form, it wouldn't be unusual if she was a little more advanced than you thought."

"I guess, but how do I stop her crying?"

"Give her your finger," Shadow cut back in.

"Is that hygienic?"

"No, but she'll shut up."

"Don't listen to him," Rouge sighed.

"I wasn't going to. Look at that, we're almost there. Just in case you try anything, I told Silver everything and he's on our side." Of course he did. Never mind that, Shadow would find a different way. Shadow had just the idea.

"I wasn't going to try anything. Besides, I think Silver might have something that I could use as a teething toy for Star. Perhaps I could take her with me?"

"I don't know..."

"Do you not trust me with my own daughter?"

"No, I don't." Sonic frowned. Rouge stopped the car.

"It's a good idea, Sonic. I don't know how much more crying I can take."

"Yeah, well... he hasn't shown any interest in his daughter before and the first time he wants to is when we won't be there, sorry if I think that's a little dodgy."

"He won't be alone. She's his daughter. Not yours." 

"He's too unstable to be a father."

"I won't hurt her. She's Amy's daughter."

"He doesn't even acknowledge—"

"She's my daughter! Happy? I give you my word, I won't harm her." How heartless did Sonic think he was?

"Fine." Sonic handed him a bag. "Here's her stuff. Everything you need is in there. Go, I'm trusting you." Shadow nodded and stepped out of the car. Sonic walked with him to the door, most likely a safety precaution to make sure Shadow didn't run off somewhere. Sonic knocked on the door. Silver opened it with a smile. Shadow had to admit that he did find some joy in seeing a different face. He hadn't seen Silver since the funeral and that was months ago.

"Hey guys!" Silver looked down at the baby and then up at Sonic. "Uh... my house isn't baby proofed." Sonic handed the baby to Silver.

"Rouge's idea, not mine. Look after her. Shadow won't."

"Why won't—" Sonic cut him off.

"See ya!" Shadow waved Sonic goodbye with a smile. Silver invited him in.

"So... How're you feeling?"

"Today's going to be a good day."

"Why?" Silver beckoned for him to sit down on the couch. Silver sat down next to him with the baby on his lap.

"Because you are going to give me a Chaos Emerald."

"No. I'm not helping you do that."

"You helped Sonic with it before!"

"That was different. We needed to do that for the sake of the world, not... personal gain."

"It is for the sake of the world, because if you don't help me, there will be no future for anyone."

"You're not serious."

"You've got to help me!" Silver was going to respond when Star started crying again. "Oh, I forgot to tell you, she needs something to chew on." Silver went to give the baby to him. "No, I don't touch her." Silver looked disgusted but still held the baby out. Shadow looked into her eyes and felt the guilt again. The same chubby cheeks as Amy had.

"You are going to have to because I need to get her something." Shadow reluctantly held his daughter in his arms. Silver walked off and left the two alone. Star reached up and squished his nose before changing her attention to chest fur. Shadow watched as she gripped onto it with immense strength. Shadow pried her tiny hand from his chest with a frown. She looked up at him innocently.

"You... have no remorse." She pulled a face that Shadow didn't recognise.

"Here." Silver handed Shadow a teething toy. Shadow raised an eyebrow. Why in the world did he own one?

"Why do you have a—"

"I bought it for someone else, but you need it more..."

"Who?" 

"Nobody. I've already said too much." Silver realised that Shadow wasn't taking the toy and decided to take the baby from him instead.

"Who? Silver, who?" There were only two options that it could be and Shadow was almost there at figuring it out. Silver avoided eye contact. Bingo! "Uhhh I see... I won't tell anyone, Silver. See, we can help each other. You give me your Chaos Emerald and I won't tell anyone what I know."

"You can't do this."

"I can. It's a low blow, but I need this."

"You're messing with time! You'll lose your daughter."

"I'm aware."

"You don't really want that. It's not her fault."

"It's mine."

"Amy wanted to be a mother."

"Chaos Emerald!"

"No. I made a promise. Did you not make the same promise?"

"Amy made me promise to be happy and look after Star. Give it to me!"

"Here. You are messing with the timeline, but I guess you'll have to learn that yourself." Silver's palms started glowing and the baby cooed. The Emerald floated from above and landed straight in Shadow's hand.

"Thank you. Look after her."

"Just remember you're swapping her for Amy. You chose Amy over her." Amy was first and he couldn't exactly say his daughter was planned... 

He wasn't choosing. He was undoing mistakes.

"Good luck." Shadow held up the Chaos Emerald.

"What? I might not even exist when you're done." Silver gave up too easily but Shadow had other things to worry about.

"Chaos Control!"

💔

Shadow appeared exactly where he needed to... his and Amy's house about a year earlier. Amy was in the kitchen baking something with music blasting through her little speaker. She danced around as she poured the batter in the cake tin. She turned around to face him with a smile.

"Shadow! You're awake." Her voice! It was really her. Shadow ran to her and tried to touch her face. His hand went right through.

"Hm... Well someone had their music up really loud." That was him. Shadow turned to see himself walk into the kitchen with a smirk on his face. What? They couldn't see him? What was going on?

"Sorry..." She pouted and fluttered her lashes. She wasn't guilty, she was just being cute.

"You don't feel sorry. You're just pretending to be cute so I'll forgive you." She giggled.

"Is it working?"

"No." She huffed, grabbed his hands and pulled him towards her. She went on her tippy toes and gave him a peck on the lips. "Maybe a little bit." She gave him another kiss. "Hmmm..." She lifted her hands up to his shoulders and kissed his nose. "Now you're just rude."

"Well your breath is yucky. Go brush your teeth." She slapped his chest with a cheeky smile.

"I did just wake up."

"It's quarter to twelve. Go clean your teeth." Shadow didn't move and they stared into each other's eyes for a while until Amy giggled and broke it. Shadow leaned over her tauntingly and plunged into a kiss. Amy was no longer complaining and in fact, encouraged it.  Shadow lifted her up on the counter behind it and that's when he cringed.

Shadow never would have thought he would ever have to watch himself like this and how he hated it. He was cringing and critiquing himself the whole way until he closed his eyes to stop watching.

💔

When he opened his eyes he was somewhere different entirely. He had gone further back in time. He was outside Amy's old house and no one was around. Not until Rouge's car pulled up and pushed yet another past version of himself out of the car.

This Shadow was carrying a bouquet of roses and some box?

"Good luck, baby!" Rouge yelled before zooming off in her car. This Shadow frowned and hesitated before walking towards the front door and then turning back. He did that a few times before Amy opened the door and called his name out. This Shadow froze in his tracks and cursed under his breath. 

"What are you doing here? I thought our date was on Saturday..."

"Yeah, it still is, but I know how you feel about Valentine’s Day and I thought I might give you this... now rather than later."

"I thought you said you had plans today?"

"Yeah... This was my plan."

"Awwwww! You're such a sweetheart!" Amy ran over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. She took the gifts off him and invited him inside. "I currently have the guys over. If you don't mind being around them... it's okay if you don't. I know you're not really my boyfriend, so it might be weird... giving Sonic knows about it now."

"No, it's alright." That was a blatant lie. Shadow watched as they walked inside and followed behind. There had to be a reason he was reliving these memories... there had to be a way out.

Inside the house was indeed, 'the guys': Sonic, Tails and Knuckles were sitting in the lounge. They were doing some crafts. Which was highly strange for them. Sonic looked up from his hot glue gun to send a knowing wink to Amy and then a teasing remark to Shadow.

"Look at that, Mr. Loverboy decided to show up." Knuckles chuckled but continued to pour glitter all over his card. Tails swivelled around and gave them an 'Ooooh'. Amy sent them all a glare.

"Nice glitter," Shadow remarked. Sonic looked confused and ran to a mirror.

"Knuckles!" Came shortly after and then chaos ensued. Glitter was thrown and Amy sighed. She turned to Shadow with an apologetic look. He waved her off. He tried to hand her the present again but she ran off to sort something. When she left sight, the three boys fighting turned to the lone hedgehog like bullies in a school playground.

"What's in the box?" Tails asked.

"Yeah... what's your plan?" Knuckles punched a fist into his own palm.

"Guys! Give loverboy a break. He pulled the classic trick: claim to be busy so that she's happy when he shows up out of the blue. So classic. I'm onto it." Sonic elbowed Shadow in the arm and got glitter all over him.

"Is that why you turn up to every event late?" Tails jabbed. Sonic gasped at his friend.

"How dare you!"

"Guys! You better not be pestering Shadow!" Amy called from her kitchen.

"We're not!" The boys called out. 

Shadow was getting sick of seeing conversations that he had already experienced so he walked over to the coffee table to see what the boys were making. While the past Shadow was having his own dilemma, this Shadow needed to sort out his own problem. He needed to analyse every detail in that moment in time. Shadow discovered it was a sign that happened to be requesting for Shadow to be Amy's boyfriend.

Shadow walked into the kitchen to see what Amy was up to. Only to see her yell out for the boys to join her in the kitchen. Shadow took on his surroundings. The pink theme of her kitchen, the heart-shaped cake on her counter. All things he had seen before. But the conversation that was about to happen when the boys entered the room... that... that he hadn't seen.

"Did you guys finish the sign?" Amy asked. Knuckles held it up with a proud look. "Thanks! You're the best!"

"You know we would do anything for you Amy!" Tails responded with a smile. Shadow's attention was brought to Sonic. He was leaning on the wall with one foot resting up on it. He wasn't engaging in the conversation, merely staring at the cake on the counter. Was it him? Was he the key? Did he need to learn something about Sonic?

The rest of the group turned to him. They all gave looks of concern. Sonic looked back up with a plastered smile. Amy ran over and gave him a hug. He dug his head into her shoulder to hide his face. What was going on? Knuckles kicked his foot on the floor and looked around uncomfortably. Amy pet the top of his head and leaned to his ear.

"You know, you can go home, if you need."

"Nah, it's good. I want to be here for you." Was this Sonic bringing the attention to himself or... was there something truly wrong? Sonic held a hand over his face and re-emerged with his same old smile. 

"We told you. We're here for you." Tails seemed more angered rather than reassuring. "Stop putting on a brave face."

"I'm great. It's not about me anyway. Today's Amy's day and I'm here to support her."

"Not distract yourself?" Knuckles asked.

"Please, don't." Sonic picked up the cake on the counter with the same smile. "Let's do this." Tails, Amy and Knuckles hesitated but still followed him out.

"Amy, I really need you to open this." This Shadow was holding up his box for her.

"Now?"

"Now."

"Oh, um... okay." Amy sat down next to him on the couch and reached for the ribbon on the top. The box unfolded and a small Chao was waiting inside. The Chao looked up at Amy with a confused look. "Awww! Shadow! No way! You didn't! I can't believe you did this!" Amy picked up the Chao and her jaw dropped at the sign hanging from the Chao. 'I love you'. Amy squealed.

"I didn't take into consideration that they would be here when I did this but... Amy I was wondering if you wanted to make us... Us. I'm useless at this thing."

"No." Amy said in disbelief but still said. The Shadow on the couch stood up and brushed himself off. He was panicking.

"Guess I'll um..." Shadow beckoned to the door.

"No! Don't! I haven't shown you this." Amy pointed to the sign Knuckles and Tails were holding. Shadow froze in his tracks. Amy giggled. "We had the same plan."

"So..."

"The answer to your question is: Yes, I will be your girlfriend." Shadow ran over and gave her a hug.

"I was worried I did the wrong thing." The group clapped for them.

💔

The scenery changed without warning to the concert. The day of their first kiss. The tickets he'd bought for her birthday one year. What was the point of all of it? This Shadow was somehow less awkward than the last. Amy held his hands and danced with him. He was having fun. That was why he loved Amy. She brought out the best side of him. Him. He was unapologetically himself and his walls were knocked down entirely.

"This is my favourite song!" Amy screamed at him over the loud music. "I wish I could see." Amy jumped up to try and see over the heads in front of her but it was pointless. Shadow smiled back at her.

"You could sit on my shoulders?"

"Really? You don't mind that?"

"I offered."

"You're the best! I was always jealous of the girls who had boyfriends to do that but now I have you!" Amy froze. "Not like you are my boyfriend! Sorry!" The dancing Shadow laughed.

"I know what you meant." 

"Do you really?"

The night sped up in front of Shadow to get to a specific moment. When Shadow had driven her home and walked to her door with her.

"You know, I hate to admit it but... that was fun." 

"Yeah! I don't know how to thank you enough. Nobody really gets me nice things but you... it's like you listen to me." Amy looked up at him with the softest expression. The Shadow before her started to step away.

"Good night, I reall—" Amy lunged forward, grabbed his face and pulled her to him.

Why did he need to see this? Their first kiss, the day they became official? He didn't ask. How could he get out of here? Run. Shadow turned tail and sped down the street until his surroundings were nothing more than a blur of white.

💔

"Shadow!" Amy's voice again. Not another memory. Shadow kept running.

"Shadow!" Maria? Shadow halted to a stop. There in front of him was Amy and Maria. Nothing surrounded them. It wasn't a moment in time... What was it?

"Maria? Amy?" Shadow flicked his head between the two. Neither looked happy. Amy most of all. Shadow went to hug Amy, she met him with a palm to his face.

"Disrespectful! I strictly told you not to do this!" Amy crossed her arms. "You were going to trade OUR daughter for me. No! I wanted her! I want her to stay alive!"

"But it's my fault—"

"No." Maria cut in. Where was he? "It's not. You never intended for this to happen. You didn't know. It can't be your fault."

"But Maria..." He didn't know what to say to her. There was no fighting against Maria. There was no winning.

"I'm so disappointed." Maria bowed her head.

"You've got to understand why I did this."

"Tried," Amy corrected. "You failed. And yes, we do. It was grief. It made you think irrationally."

"Although, it doesn't make sense that you weren't a father to your daughter." Maria started to well up.

"Yeah, Shadow. You promised me you would."

"Well... it wasn't fair on her to be around me. She's susceptible to my energy and I didn't want her to feel how I felt."

"So you make Sonic raise her?"

"I'm grieving, Amy. I can barely care for myself. I need you back."

"I know you want me, but you don't need me. Everything happens for a reason. This was meant to happen. You can do this without me. You're not alone."

"We believe in you. You've always been strong. You have a lot of love to give. Share it with others who need it." Maria placed a hand on his cheek. Shadow nodded.

They were right. The most he had changed was after Amy passed. He stopped caring about everyone. Everything. The points in time he went back to... he was caring and loving. He understood why he saw all of it. He had changed and it was time to fix it.

"I love you." Shadow said to both of the women in front of him.

"We love you too." Maria gave him a hug and stepped away slowly. Amy reached out for him and smiled. Shadow couldn't believe his senses. She smelt the same, he could feel her hand in his. She looked exactly the same. She still looked pregnant.

Amy wrapped her arms around him and looked up. Shadow leaned down and kissed her one last time. He was prepared now. 

To say goodbye.

💔

"Welcome back!" Silver bounced the baby on his knee and welcomed him with a smile.

"You knew?" 

"Of course I did. I'm a time traveller. I knew you weren't going to travel."

"Why not?"

"You need two Emeralds, two users. You had one Emerald and only yourself." Of course. How could Shadow — out of everyone — forget?

"Oh... You're right." Shadow nodded.

"So... how did it go?"

"Well, I didn't time travel but I have come to a realisation. I shouldn't try to change things that were meant to happen and start taking responsibility. I need to start being a father." Shadow reached for the baby and Silver gave her to him. "Thanks." He held his daughter to his chest and swayed. "For everything."

"I didn't do anything. You did that on your own."

"Thanks for letting me." Silver returned him a smile.

💔

"Hey, Shadow!" Sonic called from the living room. Shadow rushed in with a concerned look. "She's talking!"

"What did she say?" Shadow sat down in front of her expectantly. Sonic winced.

"Papa!" She reached for Sonic. Shadow looked between the two, betrayed.

"He's not your dad. I am." Shadow pointed to himself. "Papa." She shook her head with a giggle.

"Papa." She gripped Sonic's nose.

"I see... Who am I?" Shadow asked her. She gave him another confused look. "I guess it's only fair. But I'll let you know… I take respect seriously." Shadow reached over and tickled her. "You little monster." She disappeared in his hands.

"Uhhhhh. Where did she go?" Sonic started to freak out.

"Chaos energy, Sonic. We're in so much trouble now."

"Great. Star!”

[mcrinmyhead]

INTRODUCTION

Hiya, my name's Dee or you can call me Dead! instead, cuz that's what my name is in Tumblr. I'm sixteen. I'm an Indian, racists better fck off. I like to draw, sing and write songs and poems. I mainly post my art here and I have two side blogs too, which are @mcrinmyheart (idk what I post there :D) and @shesacomplicatedpoet where... Er, you know it. And when I say "art" I usually draw My Chem, Fall Out Boy, Linkin Park, Bring Me The Horizon and a few other bands, but you can always leave a picture in the "Ask me?" box if you really want me to draw something that you like :). Just make sure it isn't something s!utty, cuz my parents like seeing my sketchbook sometimes, haha.

About me...

Name: Dead! / Dee

Age: 16

Pronouns: she/her

Likes: listening to music, art, singing, music bands, food, sleeping (I'm a very eepy person), travelling, reading, etc.

What kind of art do I do? Fanarts mainly.

Dislikes: peanuts (yea I don't like 'em, so if you know me irl and try to feed me peanuts, I'm gonna fcking stab you, you little shit), pedos, homophobic fcks, MSI apologists, basic DNIs, etc.

Am I single? Yes, and that's because I don't want to date anyone. Nvm, I'm taken :]

Music bands/artists I like:

+ twenty one pilots, p!atd, Bring Me The Horizon, Glass Animals, Bad Omens, Sleep Token, etc. I also liked The 1975, The Nbhd, Joji, Driver The Era, Arctic Monkeys and Chase Atlantic before, so I really don't mind if you wanna talk about them too. I'm basically a music addict who has listened to a whole lotta music genres throughout my life. But I'm currently into rock music rn. Yeah, I can't stop talking about music if I start.

My favourites:

Books: Agatha Christie's books, Heartstopper, Five Feet Apart, The Fault in our Stars, Crime/Horror/Mystery books (there are many but I can't remember them), etc.

Movies: anything horror, mystery, crime, sci-fi, Marvel, DC, Star Wars, from the 2000s and 90s, etc. (How do people actually choose a favourite movie??)

Shows: Loki, Heartstopper, Young Royals, Marvel shows, etc. (I literally like all the shows I watch)

Albums: My top 10 rn (June 2024) are like- Three cheers for sweet revenge (my chem), POST HUMAN: NexGen (BMTH), XO (LeATHERMØUTH), The Black Parade (my chem), I brought you my bullets, you brought me your love (my chem), Clancy (Tøp), A Thousand Suns (Linkin Park), Danger Days (my chem), Folie a Deux (FOB), and Pretty. Odd. (P!ATD).

Colours: (Bury me in) Black, Blood Red and Lavender.

Where else can you find me?

At home, in my room 95% of the time. Nah, just kidding.

Links:

Pinterest

Spotify

Discord: mcrinmyhead

Tags I use:

My art: #art

Asks: #asks #asks <3

Scroll down for more facts about me...

Or don't. I really don't care.

Fun facts about me ^^:

I'm a really joyful, chaotic, kind, funny and a sweet person! :D (according to my frens)

Until and unless you get me on my nerves. Trust me, That's when I go insane.

If you know me irl, hi... Uh, I know I don't talk much in person but I'm sorry. That's just who I am. But if you want to be my friend, you can start by texting me lol.

I'm a music addict who likes to annoy people by talking about music bands 24/7.

I have an unhealthy obsession over My Chem.

I'm a huge nerd (according to every person in my class) and I like Math and Science (but I don't really talk about it unless you are someone who is into math and science as much as me).

I'm also a sarcastic and sassy person. So if my words ever offend you, I'm so sorry bbg. Deal with it.

I'm a vampire (I have fangs and I will bite you to suck that blood your body holds, RAHHH).

Other than drawing and singing, my hobbies are fangirling, sleeping, reading books, travelling and sometimes even cooking.

I might be surrounded by many people who I call my "friends," but in the end it's just four people who are actually my friends.

I'm mostly an introvert, but I'm an extrovert when I'm with my friend.

I suck at socializing btw.

Yikes, this list is still going on!

But I like to annoy people at the same time.

Wait, does Tumblr have a word limit on a post?

SHALL I TRY REACHING THE WORD LIMIT???

Ah, yeah, I forgot to mention this but I'm a really curious person. I like trying out or experimenting on stuff. It's fun, okay?

I can be smart and an idiot at the same time B)

I write poems but I don't like showing them to others cuz I feel like they're stupid. Any tips on poetry from the poets of Tumblr?

I love cats. Cats or get tf out.

Am I annoying rn?

Idk.

This was fun.

Alright, that's enough fckery for today. Farewell my little kittens <333

So long and good night!

[hollyhomburg]

(mafia hoseok, slice of life, fluff, stockholm syndrome, meta stuff, this is a little self-indulgent and very self-referential, a tiny bit smutty at moments but i wouldn't call this nsfw, blood, violence, guns)

i wanna write a story with mafia boss hoseok who adopts his sisters children after they die cuz of mafia reasons along with his fiance. hoseok of course, decimates the rival group who took them away from him, but after the fire and revenge has settled, there is just hoseok, just hoseok and two kids who need him.

it's not that bad, the little boy one is mainly taken care of by his men. hoseok does his best to keep them safe and separated from his criminal empire. gives them everything they could want, trusts only his inner circle of 6 to look after them.

the older one- a plucky 13 year old girl is a little bit more of a handful mostly because she asks too many questions about things hoseok cannot answer without being culpable "why do you have blood on your shoes? what kind of handgun do you carry and can i see it? why do you always talk really softly at home but yell loudly when you're in the basement?"

hoseok- knowing that the basement is a literal torture chamber, sweating, "don't you just want money for shopping or something?"

"no, i wanna become your partner, the way that mom was"

"you are literally 13"

"didn't you start when you where my age?"

"can't i just? get you a new handbag or something?" idk i just love the idea of hoseok- whose tired of his job and pissed off by it on a good day vs. a 13 year old who just wants to be a crime princess so bad.

They but heads near constantly, when she's caught sneaking out from her all girls school to smoke cigarettes, when she buys a moped with the card hoseok got her, when she tries to leave the country to go to fashion week like her mom used too (of course hoseok goes with her- but still- she's not very good at asking for permission vs forgiveness)

Obviously he's like- barely adjusting to being a parent, and grieving the loss of fiance and sister too. he's lonely and struggling with the things in his life that aren't the crime bits, he's not against admitting that, but allowing anyone, woman or man, into his life barely 5 years after they've passed feels like a betrayal.

it goes like that, slice of life, mafia man hoseok and dad hoseok chased togeather. he tries his best to show up for dance recitals (the young beta boy really really likes balet and god forbid hoseok stop anything, even convention, from getting in the way of his pups dreams,) regularly scolds the alpha girl for trying to bring her boyfriends around, "you're too young to have boyfriends" "they're just my friends boyfriends" "still, wait until you're 16- or better yet- 18"

There just isn't a shortage of problems concerning the kids, it's one thing after another. Until one night in his study, hoseok's ledgers spread out in front of him while he reclines on a tufted sette, one of his men comes to the door, an ipad in his hands and a guilty look on his face. Hoseok snaps his fingers without looking up. "we- ugh- caught her reading fanfiction again, not the appropriate sort boss."

Hoseok groans because holy fuck he was no prepared to deal with a teenage girl in his mid 30's. let alone puberty again. But then again, he's a little curious, reads a few lines of the fanfic....

Only to find out it's an exact copy of his and his ex's life, down to the things that they've said on their first date. Their first time, even her untimely death down to her last words, words that he hasn't told anyone ever. Hoseok doesn't sleep as he reads through it. The only thing that's different is their names. here, here are memories even hoseok has forgotten. It's impossible, how could someone know all this?

oh, someone knows, and he's going to tear them apart.

Of course he finds the author. using the resources of his criminal empire to track them down. he has his men abduct her. the perfect crime, executed down to the moment she's snatched. he knows the autorities will never find her or even a hint of his orginization. he brings her down into that torture room and decides....not to kill her after talking to her.

hoseok is like something out of a romance novel, the kind of one she publishes irl and not the kind that she writes and posts on the internet. intimidating and beautiful with his crossed legs, red hair, strong jaw and piercing eyes. Of course, she only publishes things as fanfiction when she feels she needs too. other stories that she feels are more polished and less an extension of her own emotions, get the published book treatment. She's already absorbing details of this, the bite of the ropes against her wrists, the damp feeling of a cloth pressed over her mouth, it's a little bit fucked up but she's only thinking "this is gonna make for some good fanfic" and not about her safety.

hoseok has only met two types of peopke, the ones that are smart and scared of him, and the ones that are stupid and unafraid.

so what if she's got a bit of a deathwish, hoseok is a little impressed, having made grown men cry and piss themselves in that very chair, she's not afraid of him whatsoever. that alone, is what keeps him from killing her. maybe it reminds him a little bit of his exfiance, the way she looks at him without fear, like he's not the boss or dad, he's just hobi.

"So you mean i'm going to stay with you, your prisoner, until you figure out how i know what i know?"

"Yes that's the jist of it. Until you confess."

"there's nothing to confess, i just- thought of it on my own, i don't know what to tell you." hoseok looks for any connection, any of the fanfic authors family, if they were connected to his fiance in any way, but truly- there is nothing in her past that connects her to him, she wasn't even living in his city before now.

it's simply a trick perhaps, or just a coincidence. Hoseok doesn't believe in coincidences.

Only, Hoseok isn't cruel enough to keep her downstairs after the first few days when his interrogations turn more...conversations. Maybe he pours over the fanfic's and asks her about specific lines the one, "nothing's broken you yet, so you have no reason to belive this will too" thats been his personal mantra for year. how could she know things that he's never told anyone is beyond him.

The house has plenty of rooms and hoseok has plenty of men to keep an eye on her, he probably puts a tracking anklet on her just incase. and of course he finds her writing on bits of paper because he won't give her a laptop.

and then Hoseok's nice gets her fingers in everything. fucking shit up as she has a talent of doing. maybe hoseok intends it to be casual "this is my friend, she's going to be staying here for the time being, be nice to her and stay out of her hair" why does hoseok feel the need to suggest the kids be nice to her? she's literally a prisoner.

but of course, hoseok's nice looks at her, turns to hoseok and says "🥺 you got me my favorite fanfic author for my birthday uncle hobi?" immediatlly- the jig is up, they talk, the mc is really kinda nice to the kid because she's not an asshole.

Of course hoseok begs her to go along with it because...he really doesn't want his nice to know that everything she read actually happened, and he's got a sweet spot a mile wide for her underneath their bickering. of course also doesn't want to let her know that he did infact almost kidnap and torture this woman. and she agrees to befriend her...in exchange for a laptop.

Things go like that for a while, and for a month, he gets used to someone being there when he wakes up, he gets used to hearing laughter when he walks in, maybe she starts to get close to the kids a little bit- the nice especially, maybe one time hoseok gets a panicked text from the mc, "Minji's boyfriend broke up with her. sos bring ice cream."

The four of them of course leave the compound, go shopping, which then turns into going to the pet store, getting a dog (that his right hand man jungkook eventually takes in because none of them are prepared to actually take care of a dog). The works, maybe they go to one of those destruction rooms and smash some stuff, or go paintballing, the m/c hitting hobi in the chest and grinning "got you." it turns out mafia bosses are generally good shots, but mafia princesses are also really good too." And on the way home, the kids tired and asleep in the back, the m/c also nearing sleep in the passengers side, hoseok looks over at her and realizes that being the kids parents, being here for minji and hanyu has gotten alot easier since she's been around.

It's not that she does any of the child rearing at all, but- adult company is nice. Hoseok's not sure he can call her a friend. when he pulls in home he looks over, and finds that she's staring back at him.

"Are you really like the man i wrote into that story."

"Yes." he admits, they haven't talked about why he's here, in a while. she looks contemplatively at him for a second, then yawns. looking back and minji and hanyu in the backseat, "i'll get him if you get her right?" and they do, they bring the both of them inside and hoseok stays awake all night with a lump in his throat.

life continues like that, blood and domestic bliss in equal measure. a few times has he come home in the middle of the day to her writing in the main recreation room with Hanyu playing with his leggos around her, "i like her, she lets me be quiet without asking me to talk lots" or spinning with him to loud loud music. hanyu really only likes balet for the spinning and twirling.

of course hoseok is curious what she's writing after a while. and is more than a little curious why she doesn't try and leave. she still has to wear the ankle monitor, but hoseok would take it off if she asked.

"honestly i'm getting so much good material from this experience and you have good taste in decor and food gets made for me every morning by seokjin- and he's a fantastic cook and an even better beta reader." Seokjin is also a really good shot, and was in the black berets before i hired him is definitely not what hoseok says. "Why wouldn't i want to stay, i don't have to worry about anything here."

"accept for your bodily autonomy????" she waves her hand flippantly, "yeah, that never mattered to me so much as long as i can write. of course he gets curious of what she's writing, hoping to find more hints of how she can know what she knows. she finds bits and peices of his men in them and writes them off as just fanfic fodder. tells minji not to bother her too much.

he doesn't really like her next project about a heist with 3 lovers who get through it after years of sexual tension only to finally confess after one member gets shot- only, why are they like jimin? tae? and jungkook all close over taehyung's hospital bed. she's gotten close to all of them, but not closer than hoseok is to them and even he didn't realize they were all in love. how have some of his longest gang members, and appart of his inner circle who have been adversaries for the better part of the last 5 years finally getting over their enemies to lovers stick? how did he not notice?

he chalks it up to a coincidence until the next time it happens, because Namjoon and yoongi have been at each other's throats for years. Who would have thought an isolated job in the mountains that lead to them being snowed in with only one bed would...lead to their eventual coupling.

after that, hoseok starts to pay attention to what she writes. he's just in the middle of a deal gone bad when he remembers what she's written the year before, something about a car bomb- he avoids getting into the car until it explodes (a la bily) and comes home a little singed and scarred.

she's in the living room, the kids are asleep upstairs, and when she stands up, hoseok feels that feeling again in his heart, that peircing ache, the same one he gets when he thinks of his dead fiance.

i'm imagining him kneeling before her, taking off her anklet, fingers lingering over her skin a little too long. looking up at her, hoseok has not knealed for many people.

"you're free to go, but before i do, i'd like to offer you a job." it's hard to describe her value to hoseok, even harder to explain it to people who don't understand, she writes, and hoseok reads them, and about 70% of the time, the events she puts down on paper actually happen. he tries to ignore the other little things that don't, she's....a really good writer. and she knows by now that anything she writes he'll tare through. even the more...smutty sections that she tries to hide. he ignores the way that tales of submission make his blood burn, the way she describes touches and hands, hoseok tries to find pleasure in his own but it remains frightfully our of reach (and maybe 3 doors down).

maybe hoseok takes her to one of his functions, the ones that he usually hates with politicians and celebrities, because he wants to treat her, wanting to give things to people isn't a feeling he's felt in a while, i imagine them dancing underneath the stars, him asking her "if you were writing this right now what would happen." "if i were writing this, you'd have already kissed me."

maybe, someone gets wind of it, maybe theres a mole in hoseoks organization that tells tales of hoseok's secret weapon. his weakness. hoseok is not prepared there is nothing in her writing that says where she is or what happens only....that last one, it's tangentially mentioned, maybe minji is the one that finds it, hoseok explains it to her the situation, why the m/c is here and what lead her to their lives, maybe he's loosing it a little and she's the levelheaded one, hanyu is in the doorway crying, maybe when they came to take her she sacrificed herself for him, told him to hide and he did. that alone, that lone would make hoseok go after her, not the living breathing terrified thing in his chest- because this- this is almost exaclty like what happned with his fiance.

minji is 14 now, 14 and smart, smarter than hoseok, "she wrote something- i know she did- here- it was in an ask- here" hoseok scans it, and the gang mobilizes it. maybe hoseok's gang asks him why, why he's willing to go to these lenghts to save her, "it's not about securing a method of income, this has never been about money."

when he finds her, she's tied up, much the same way that he was tied up, and hoseok is soaked with blood, from his red hair down his back, she always did get unnervingly graphic with her murder scenes and it feels the same way that she wrote it, white hot rage that drips down his back in time with the cooling blood. he wonders if the bruises on her face feel the same for her. he unties her and then cups her cheeks, looking down at her while she grabs his wrists. "you came for me." is all she manages to choke out, "i wasn't sure you would."

he kisses the side of his face, "of course i'd never let you go, do you feel and see the blood i'd shed for you? is this enough?" hoseok is a little fucked up, and she knows this, she knows that deep down, beneath the softness that the people he loves cultivates in him, he does not mind the killing. he'd kill again for her in a heartbeat. he's going to kill again for her and he needs to know that if she stays.

hoseok is not convinced that she should.

he takes her home, washes her off. blood dripping down the drain and the two of them pressing hurried kisses against each others mouths, even if they taste like blood a little bit, they want each other too bad, all of this built up just breaking between the two of them. hoseok spends too long listening to her heartbeat. too long but she just washes his hair while he does, a tender geasture. he's not sure that his ex ever washed his hair.

the kids are glad to see her, a little bit scared to find hoseok more hollow than he was when he left. because he knows the last time something like this happened he was too late. and there are more than a few indications that he almost was too late, in the bruises that ring her body, her own blood that he wipes from his hands.

the next day, hoseok meets with minji, hands her her first gun, "you're to report to me, you don't make tough decisions, you let me make them for you, if you have questions or need help, ask. you don't make stupid decisions, and you don't tell anyone about anything you know." She scoffs, "thats a given."

later he ends up wrapped up with the main character, touching her again and again, verifying that she's alright that she's here, and she's just scribbling away at a piece of paper while he drags his lips up and down her arm. "is this still about getting inspiration for you?"

"maybe, but you're the best inspiration i've ever come across."

yeah i wanna write this, but i probably never will~

[thatdesklamp]

'Intrinsic Warmth': Collector's Edition

Here is a masterpost of all 'Intrinsic Warmth'-related content: a small portion is stuff that I've written, probably in response to a question/ask, but the majority is content that I... haven't actually produced! This is so so self-indulgent because I love everything here like a firstborn son. Oh my goodness. I’ll put this on the ‘other’ section of my masterlist for reference, too.

me prattling on

The Influence of 'One Day' on 'Intrinsic Warmth', an essay-that-I-didn't-mean-to-be-an-essay about how 'One Day' by David Nicholls impacted IW (in more ways than just the shamelessly-stolen concept, lol)

music

'Intrinsic Warmth': The Musical, a compilation of all the songs people have related to 'Intrinsic Warmth' in my comments (I've added the full list below with extra comments + context for each song)

'intrinsic': The Fic Playlist, an actual IW playlist (!!!) made by ao3 user redromeow

writing

'Sunday September 7th, 2014', a true gem of a fanfiction of my own fanfiction (ohmygod); Satoru's perspective of the beginning of IW's Chapter 19, written by ao3 user late_night_secrets

'Intrinsic Warmth': The Musical: The Context and Comments = Comments you guys made when you recommended the songs :DD

Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want / The Smiths

"So, for once in my life / Let me get what I want / Lord knows, it would be the first time" -- Hebi's yearning hours

Haunted / Taylor Swift

"Stood there and watched you walk away / From everything we had / But I still mean every word I said to you / He will try to take away my pain" -- just IW in its angst era

"Come on, come on, don't leave me like this / I thought I had you figured out / Something's gone terribly wrong / You're all I wanted / Come on, come on, don't leave me like this / I thought I had you figured out / Can't breathe whenever you're gone / Can't turn back now, I'm haunted" -- Chapter 15, 2010 (Gojo + Hebi on the roof)

Don't / eAeon ft. RM

Lyrics that are very Hebi and Gojo. I particularly like: "Please, don’t leave this place / There’s no place like this elsewhere in the world, after all / Please don’t break us / Then our one heart will be divided"

look at me / george

Lyrics that are Gojo being in his feels whenever he sees Hebi (in IW's angst era specifically)

You're on Your Own Kid / Taylor Swift

"I wait patiently, he’s gonna notice me / It’s okay, we’re the best of friends" -- Chapter 14, 2009 (the first year after they graduate) Hebi is yoyok coded. Lol.

Remember the time / Michael Jackson

It fits IW v v well (it does)

Something about us / daft punk

"I need you more than anything in my life / I want you more than anything in my life / I'll miss you more than anyone in my life / I love you more than anyone in my life" -- Chapter 12, 2007 (right after Geto left). It is them.

Good enough / xdinary heroes

A song that matches the tone of their relationship

La gent normal al Mercat de Sant Antoni / Manel

I couldn't find this on Spotify! I've put it the original 'Common People' on IW:TM, but here's a link to the actual song that I got recommended; it's Hebi and Gojo.

Last Kiss / Taylor Swift

Specifically in Chapter 16, 2011 (the one with the Kiss and Breakup). Yikes.

IF I HAVE MISSED ANY SONGS Y’ALL HAVE SENT PLS TELL ME, I TRIED TO BE THOROUGH BUT I MAY HAVE MISSED SOME

[shivstar]

Good morning/afternoon/evening, I'm very curious: Did Sirius appreciate/love Regulus? Someone mentioned that he appreciated him and that's why he left Regulus' room intact. Is that canon or fanon? I'd like to know more about their dynamics (if you don't want to answer this question, that's fine)

Hello Anon!!!!!

SIrius and Regulus's dynamic is a complex one. I don't think that anyone in the fandom has that strong sense of writing proweress to write their dynamic. Because the author would be either siding with Sirius or with Regulus. No one decides to sit and write them down as a neutral guy. This is similar as to most snape and marauders stories. Either Snape is the bad guy or marauders are the bad guy. Writing nucanced characters is not upto the capabilities of rooky writers writing fanfics. JKR, for all the reasons she gives us to hate her, has gone very above and beyond to add layers to her characrters. Harry the primary protagonist to voldemort, the main antagonist and everyone in between them has so many aspects to them. I wish to create characters like hers someday. She is really great in terms of character study and i would appreciate her on that. Credit should be given where it is due.

About Sirius's views on Regulus. Listen every elder sibling, sometime in their life experience this feeling of not being loved after the second kid came along. Every kid. It then falls upon the parents to guide them out of those dark thoughts.

THis is where i think Walburga and Orion failed. I imagine that if his parents really were loving, Sirius would have felt too conflicted to leave, especially, at 16! He MUST have no reason to stay whatsoever. And that includes Regulus.

I hc that Sirius, like every elder siibling at that age, wanted to explore life without his not so baby brother tagging along. So, in school he wanted Regulus to maintain distance. NOT because he was so opposed to Regulus's still forming beliefs or Regulus being slytherin. THat was all given to Sirius. He expected as much of Regulus. But he didn't want Regulus near his freind group becasue he had no time to babysit Regulus in front of his cool friends he is trying to impress as every kid at that age does.

Regulus was pissed at this. His elder brother not wanting to involve him. But that is not extreme. A healthy amount of aversion to being treated less important in comparision to these blod traitors and mudbloods. But he knew that at home he wins. He knew his mother and father loved him more than Sirius.

I hate abusive Black Parent HC. Walburga and Orion were results of years of generational unheathy parenting ways passed on among Blacks. But it didn't include hitting their kids in abnormally cruel ways.

They were decent parents.

Wolfstar and Jegulus guys treat Regulus's joining Voldy's as a result of parenting. And yes it was, to some ways. But it wasn't what they aimed for. Sirius clears that in OOTP.

Regulus being super close to Walburga made Sirius question his mother's love for him. THen he thought who wants to be loved by the woman who has so wrong beliefs. THis is the constant cycle of thoughts circulating in his head all his life. Even in adulthood, after running away.

I really like the idea of him grieving the absence of love from his parents. SOmewhat aimining that hurt at Regulus. And that causing conflict in the house of Black.

But he loved that little bugger too. His mother told him to take care of his little brother. He regretted not being that guiding force in Regulus's life but he also acknowledges that the bond between Regulus and Walburga was so strong that he couldn't have done anything different.

Sirius lived life with this duality. Picturing Regulus as the little kid he spent 11 years of his life with but also seeing him as this teenage boy who had voldy's moodboard in his bedroom. Reminising all the pranks he pulled and the couple of sweet memories he shared. But also resenting Regulus for loving Kreacher more than he did Sirius.

THem being typical sibling is very important to me. The antagonism between them was not becasue of war. Again i think that Sirius would have forgiven Regulus for being a death eater if he had shared a deep bond with him. We see him being okay with James's brand of cruelty. Sirius (except the shack incident) is never SHOWN to be actually physically hurting anyone But we are told and see that James was often engaging in act of mindless cruelty. I am not saying that he was saint towards snape but i believe it was more of standing by James, like he did in SWM, rather than actaully participating in senseless act of cruelty.

Sirius's brand of cruelty was in his words. He had a way just like his mother. Even in shack incident, he used his words to make Snape teach Snape a lesson for snooping around.

So all this makes me think that even if one single person in his family shown him love and understanding as James did. He would have not belittled them on their moral beliefs. Like you know how we often forgive our loved ones for whatever crimes they did becasue we love them.

I am sure he wouldn't even blink an eye if James asked him to hide a dead body.

But no one, including Regulus, could ever tap on that unlimited well of loyalty that Sirius gives to his chosen people. James won the lottery in this case.

So, I picture the Black brothers loving each other deep down but otherwise remaining mostly indifferent towards each other.

Chosing their own respective pathways without concern for the other.

Regulus's decision to become a death eater chalked upto Sirius's runaway stunt is wrong. Regulus believed fully on the bigotry. He wanted to be a death eater. Anything else is fanon....