#and sorry it's so late i was really trying to get this done before the day ended
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Y'all were so insistent that I keep going with the Eddie Fixes It By Making It Worse post breakup fic.
This is officially a three-parter. Sorry. Or you're welcome.
You can read part one here
We have to make out in front of Tommy.
Buck's in the ice cream aisle, reminding himself that he has given himself three more days of moping and ignoring his diet before he gets his ass in gear and starts to live a life again. The Halo Top is mocking him, jeering and heckling as he goes for the Blue Ribbon. Mint chocolate, because Buck always loved it and he can almost forget the mock fight he'd had with Tommy three months in when he told Buck he refused to allow toothpaste flavored treats into his home, and how they'd barely gotten back to his place without a public indecency citation.
He stares at the text until his eyes cross.
What, he sends back, and slowly, cautiously, returns the pint of ice cream to its spot in the cooler. Maybe he should lay off the sugar. He's had enough.
Trust me
It comes in almost immediately and Buck tries to rewind, tries to figure out what any of this means, what the context is, why he's getting an actual Trust Me Bro from his best friend.
You've already met your last and it's not me comes crashing back to the forefront of his mind. He's had a full 36 hours to forget it, and he had been nearly there, nearly ready to chalk it up to Tommy trying to make him angry. Which he's been doing a really fucking excellent job of, lately. Almost like he knows all the buttons to push. Like Buck had given him the owners manual.
Tommy had meant Eddie? How could Eddie have possibly come to that conclusion? What the hell was he doing sending Buck half across town to the market for snacks when -
Buck judges the distance from this market to Eddie's. Then to Tommy's.
"Oh you mother -."
A woman squeaks by with her kid in the cart seat and glares.
---
Are you at Tommy's right now
No question marks. This is an accusation. Buck's thankful there are no perishables in his cart as he abandons it in the lane and hikes it towards the door. It's a dick move, and Buck feels, a little spitefully, like if anyone remembers him they'll remember him from the times he and Tommy giggled and play-fought down the aisles, so they'll think of Tommy when they think of the cart left behind. Resent him for it, maybe.
Not like Tommy isn't particularly good at just leaving things behind.
Yeah. Join me.
Buck breaks through the doors and feels a little woozy. This might be a panic attack. His chest fucking hurts.
đjust get my stuff and meet me at yours. tell Tommy we burned all his shit
Eddie is an asshole. I'm not gonna LIE to the man. Also he definitely doesn't have an Evan box ready to go, so take what you will from that
Buck's still in that vicious cycle where he goes from angry to upset to sad in record time, no barriers in between, where every bruise feels like it's healing too fast so he keeps pressing in just to watch the color muddle. He hates this.
It'd be a Buck box, Buck texts back, just to release some of the pressure behind his temples, and he pulls in a few deep breaths before he jogs for the Jeep. He's gonna go home. Throw on the DVD copy of Sleepless In Seattle Tommy left behind and then maybe once that's done he'll throw the damn thing in a blender.
Are you coming or not?
Buck turns the ignition and peels out in a direction that won't lead to his own home, or the things Buck has been too much of a mopey bastard to pack up and return to their owner. At a red light two miles down the road, he shares his location.
Eddie sends back an ominous Hope you brushed your teeth today.
---
Eddie gets the door and it sucks just as much as if Tommy had. They barely ever spent time at Tommy's, and Buck can see it now for the boundary it was. When they had, though, their time had been split pretty evenly between Buck picking him up for a date, and Eddie wanting to leave the quiet echo of his own house to hang with them - a car on a lift and beers shared between them, Buck watching the pull of muscle beneath Tommy's shorts as he took Eddie down to the mat, Tommy's fingers drifting through the short curls at the back of Bucks head while Eddie yelled about triple-doubles and chatted with Tommy about how impossible coverage was for some guy named Joker.
Buck has never actually figured out who that guy was. Eddie hated the Mavericks and he hated the Lakers but Eddie also complained about the guy so much he definitely wasn't a Clipper.
Eddie gets him by the forearm when Buck shows clear signs of regretting this. Drags him through the front door before Buck can fully execute his spin and stomp back to the Jeep.
Tommy's next door neighbor had waved at him from her yard where she was doing something new with her display of bird sculptures, and Buck hadn't had the heart to do anything but raise his hand back.
It's less than ten seconds before Eddie is steering him down the hall, into the living room. It's cozy in here. Lived in. Mismatched furniture that somehow fits, a blanket thrown over the side of the couch, dark wood tables and light wood flooring and lamps that look like they came from an estate sale up in the Hills. A huge ass TV set above the mantle of a gas fireplace that Buck never even had the opportunity to see working before... Before.
Tommy is a shadow coming out of the kitchen, and Buck can't help but be a little pleased that he looks as crappy as Buck feels.
---
Eddie claps his hands together before either of them can get a word in. "Okay. Here's the thing. You're both dumbasses and there's a lot of shit that you guys gotta figure out on your own. But apparently you," he points at Tommy with the lip of a beer bottle. Corona. Tommy hates the stuff, and Buck is reminded once again how dearly Eddie loves him, "need empirical evidence that there's no deeply repressed sexual tension between Buck and I. So."
"You're insane," Tommy says, and Buck feels like snapping at him. He's probably right. This is an insane thing to do. Eddie ambushed his ex and then ambushed Buck in the frozen treats aisle and now he wants to kiss Buck to prove a point? What??
Eddie ignores it. Turns to Buck. "How do you wanna do this?"
And now would be the time, actually. Now would be the time to cut the thread, make it clean, break it for good. Only despite his protest, Tommy is staring between them and his expression looks almost... hungry. Frightened, at the same time. Oh. Oh.
He really had thought...?
Eddie's a fucking idiot. Buck doesn't want to kiss him. He's squared with the fact that he definitely had a crush when they first met and he's definitely been attracted to Eddie and just not realized it but he doesn't want Eddie. He doesn't want a life with Eddie, not like that. He doesn't- He isn't -
He loves Eddie more than almost every other person on the planet, but he's not in love with him.
Buck squares his shoulders. Nods. "Yeah, okay," and then he's taking three strides to meet Eddie at the coffee table.
---
"Oh come on, are you serious?"
Buck ignores the exclamation from the peanut gallery. Tries to figure out where to put his hands. He's never really noticed the height difference before. It's barely anything - a couple inches at most - but it feels like he's looming, this close. Which is stupid. He's been this close to Eddie a million times.
Eddie bends his knees to set the beer down. Darts his gaze back up to Buck.
Buck's seen him pull this move before, and has to bite down the urge to cackle because those big brown cow eyes have charmed women up and down California and probably plenty of Texas too but the only time Buck's ever seen them look genuine was when he was looking at Shannon.
He's got a good face. Angular in all the right places, expressive in a way a lot of men try to hide. Good eyelashes, clear skin.
Eddie gets a thumb in one of Buck's belt loops and tugs.
It's a good move. It's a move that has inspired Buck to sink to his knees on more than one occasion with the right men. Man. Just the one man.
He desperately bites back a giggle when the front of their thighs brush and Buck feels nothing more than the heat coming off Eddie.
Eddie's flushed, just a little, like he's well aware how ridiculous this all is, but he's got his I'm So Fucking Serious face on and there is a part of Buck, something fucked up and broken and wrong, that wonders how Tommy would feel to see it. To know that Buck is out there in the world kissing people who aren't Tommy. It's not like he'd ended things because he didn't care for Buck, because he wasn't attracted to him. It's gotta sting, right?
Buck gets a hand on Eddie's waist, just above his hip bone. He's never actually paid attention to how much more slim Eddie is, before, how big Buck's hands feel against him.
The night Tommy had first kissed him, Buck had spent an indeterminate length of time replaying every second of the interaction. The lead up, the frank honesty, the way Buck's entire body had followed the flow of Tommy's. Heart racing, body thrumming: when Tommy had ducked his head, when he'd laughed, when he'd opened up his body language and dropped a tiny morsel of his heart, Buck had felt himself drawn in.
The lips that had caught his had set him alight.
Eddie shifts his weight and blinks up at him and for half a second Buck wants this to be a good kiss - earth shattering, life changing. He wants to feel it. Wants it to be better than every kiss he and Tommy ever shared.
The pointer and middle finger he uses to tilt Eddie's chin up are petty as hell.
#bucktommy#bucktommy fic#tevan fic#this is not a bvddie fic#or a bvddietommy fic#this is my self indulgent 'i get what you see but i don't see it' fic turned up to eleven#tommy is quickly getting his stupid prize for playing stupid games
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Whispers in the Dark
âAndâI dunno. Theyâre barking mad but I love them. Iâm an only child so I imagine you understand now why Iâm like this.â He makes a rare self-deprecating gesture towards himself, something the James from a year ago would never have done. It makes Lily break into a real laugh. âAnd this,â Lily mirrors his gesture, âmeaningâŠâ James grins, and it does something downright delectable to her heart. âThis meaning an arrogant git who is too thick to notice other peopleâs personal lives.âÂ
When Lily is awarded her prefect badge in fifth year, they warn her that James Potter has a talent for disappearing. But if that's true, why does he keep coming to her night after night, hoping to be caught? Oneshot, Rated T--- AO3 Link Here
Fifth YearÂ
By the time Lily was awarded her badge, James Potter was already bestowed a nickname among the prefects: The Shadow.Â
âDonât you think that's a bit too ominous for a git who just mucks around all night?â Next to her, Remus snorts but keeps his eyes low.Â
âYou wonât understand until you have your first patrolâit's like he justâŠdisappears.â The way the Head Boy says it, it makes James sound like some sort of spectre plaguing the corridors, not some untidy haired knob trying to explode the toilets. Lilyâs eyes sink as Remus covers a cough that suspiciously sounds like a laugh.Â
âCare to elaborate on your mate then, Remus?â She flashes him an innocent smile. Even under the newfound pressure he doesnât straighten, rather pulling a pack of muggle cigarettes out of his cloak and tapping it on his knee.Â
âNothing to say,â Remus replies cooly, shooting Lily an equally saccharine grin, âjust that you better hope he never hears about his little nickname if you donât want him to be even more incorrigible.â
âWhy? I thought you boys dug little nicknames.â She narrows her eyes, accepting the challenge to get him to respond with anything other than collected nonchalance.Â
âTrust me on this oneâhe will be unbearable.â
* * * * *
The worst part of it all is that the senior prefects werenât wrong, he really would just be there.Â
âAlright Evans?âÂ
She whips around, wand already poised. The corridors leading to the dungeons are more shadowed than the rest of the school, but her eyes have already adjusted to the dark and from what she can tell, she is alone.Â
âPotterâIâm not in the mood.âÂ
Thereâs a shuffle and she hears a boy's voice murmur âwhen is she everâ before a round of clipped laughs trickle in the darkness. She turns again, trying to find the source.Â
âYou gitsâI know you are here and I'll give you detention whether I can see you or not.â
She turns again and lets out a small gasp. James stands at the far reaches of her wand light, eyes dancing with mirth behind the reflection of his glasses.Â
âCongratulations on the ahâŠpromotion,â he grins and she feels the bristle of anger pull at the hair on her neck.Â
She wants to prove herself as the only muggleborn prefectâand what better way than to catch this so-called Shadow. She takes a cautious step forward, worried he will skitter away like a wild animal if she moves too quickly. James just continues to grin, a hand grasping something shimmery behind his back.Â
âYouâre not supposed to be out.â She takes another step and he eyes her warily.Â
âOh, is that right?â He makes a show of looking around, brow furrowed in confusion. âWowâsorry about that! Guess I got the time confused.â Another round of muffled laughter comes from behind him.
âCâmon, Iâm escorting you back to the tower.â She moves to grab his arm but he jumps backwards, running into something that she canât see but an oof and hey! ring out from the shadows.Â
âAs much as Iâd love a romantic stroll with you Evans, Iâm actually late to another engagement,â he tuts, his smile turning into a sly grin. The hand that has been behind his back lifts up and a portion of his arm disappears, then the rest of his body until his face hovers completely detached in the dark.Â
âRaincheck though?â His grin hangs in the air for a second longer before the darkness takes him, but his presence still lingers. Nothing remains but the cold feeling of being watched.Â
* * * * *
Sheâs still not used to it. The random appearances, the floating grins, the whispers in the dark which make her feel like she is living in a rabbit hole rather than a castle. Itâs no wonder the prefects leave catching him up to Filch these daysâhe haunts them.Â
âHey Evansââ
She hopes that wherever he is hiding, he doesnât see her jump. Turning towards the sound of his voice, he appears just a couple of steps away, hand already running through his hair.Â
âIâll make you a deal Potter, if you fuck off and donât talk to me, I wonât give you detention.â
She expects him to consider it, but he doesnât. His eyes are missing the glimmer they usually have when she runs into him at night. Instead, he keeps his head bowed, a frown weighing down his features.Â
âI came to talkâŠto apologize for today.â
She doesnât want to hear it. Turning on her heel she stalks off in the other direction but he catches up easily.Â
âI donât want some fake apology. I want you to leave me alone.â
Of course he doesnât listen. He keeps her stride, angling his face to catch her eyes with his.
âItâs not fakeâI really am sorry,â he gasps out, â I was a git and never expected for SniveâSnape to say those things about youâ.â
She stops dead in her tracks, her whole body contracting in anger.Â
âSorry? Are you sorry for all the other times you have bullied him too? Sorry for all the other shite you do to everyone around you? I donât want your apology from you or from himâand I especially donât want to rehash it with you right now.â
James doesnât coil back, eyeing her with a brooding pain that feels out of place on his features.
âI know he was your friend. He shouldnât say those things to youâfriends donât do that.â
It catches her off guard. She certainly isnât looking for friendship advice from Potter, but he also has hit the nerve thatâs been plaguing her all day.Â
âI know Iâm an arseholeâespecially to Snape...but Iâd never say something like that to my matesâŠor to you.â
Her eyes start to sting but the thought of crying in front of him feels like the most incorrigible thing that could possibly happen. She jerks away, stumbling in the direction they had come from.Â
âLeave me aloneâplease.â
He doesnât follow her like last time and she forces herself forward, rubbing the tears from her eyes. At the end of the corridor, she turns around, expecting to see him standing where she left him and some sick part of her hopes for it. But he has listened for once: he is goneâactually gone.Â
* * * * *
She wishes she could disappear as easily as he could right about now.Â
âUhm⊠Evans?â James leans against the trophy case, a wet rag hanging at his side on his pointer finger.Â
She calculates the possibility of turning around and pretending she never entered. Zero to none. On the table, a detention slip sits idly. A scratchy hand reads:
James Potter, Gryffindor, 5th year
Offense: Hexing and physical altercation with Slytherin boys ( 5th and 6th years)
Punishment: Trophy polishingâ2 hours
She sighs, placing the paper down and settling her bag on the floor. âFilch is out dealing with a hinkypunkâIâm surveilling tonight.â She doesnât look at him, crossing her arms tightly against her chest. âSo, go onâIâm told you have some trophies to polish.â
Jamesâ eyes remain wide as he nods, turning back to the case. With his back to her, she steals a moment to take him inâhis shoulders are squared and there is something more wooden about his movements than she remembers. They havenât spoken since she told him to leave her alone and she wonders if thatâs the reason she hasnât been seeing him as often. She hates to admit it, but patrols have become boring without him.Â
Too busy deciphering his body language, she doesnât catch him pulling his wand out of his pocket. With one swish, all the trophies gleam.Â
âHey! Thatâs not the punishment.â
 He turns, an eyebrow cocked upwards. âYes it is, you said to polish the trophies⊠So I did.âÂ
Arrogant little shit. She hates when heâs rightâwhich unfortunately is more often than she wants to admit. She sits on the ground and starts to fish through her bag, pulling out a transfiguration textbook and a parchment.
âFine, fine. Then just be quiet over thereâI have to get this essay finished.â
But sheâs a fool to think that he will follow directions. He makes it about thirty seconds before he is up off the ground, coming to lean down and read over her shoulder with his head tilted downwards.
âItâs pretty good so far but you mis-characterized the difference between illusionment and deflection charms.â
She looks up with an insult already poised on her lips but is stopped short by the proximity of his face. Leaning down, his glasses are slipping off and she can see a small bruise blooming on his cheekbone just under his rims.
âDid a Slytherin give you that?âÂ
He pokes at the bruise curiously, also just noticing it.Â
âAh bugger.â He sits down next to her, splaying his legs in front of him while leaning on his hands. âMulciberâs work I think. Heâs fine at dueling but shite at punchingâsurprised he even got a decent hit.â
âSo what, youâve moved on to physical violence for fun?â
He whips his head around. For once, his eyes are absent of anything other than seriousness.Â
âNo actually. Just sticking up for my friends.â His stare is so intense she has to look away.
âI think Black can stick up for himself fine.â
âYeah, Sirius can, but Remus canâtânot always.â
Now itâs her turn to stare. She had been curious as to why Remus hadnât been on patrols earlier. It was hard to imagine him in a real argument, much less a physical scuffle.Â
âIs he ok? Remus I mean.â The worry in her voice softens his gaze a bit, shoulders relaxing.Â
âYeahâheâsâŠheâs going to be fine.â James teeters off, something hidden behind his words.Â
âWellâIâm glad.â She means it, though it feels understated. Her mind wanders to how often Severus would theorize about Remusâ absences and pushes away the idea that he could be behind the fight.Â
âDo you want something? I mean for the bruise?â She rummages around in her bag again and pulls out a vial of white liquid. Handing it to him, he eyes it warily before opening the bottle and giving it a sniff.Â
âItâs Mountain Arnica. I made it myselfâheals cuts and scrapes pretty well.âÂ
James pulls his glasses up to his forehead and uses the pad of his finger to dab some onto the bruise. She makes a subconscious note that his eyes are much clearer without the glasses covering them.Â
âYou getting into a lot of tussles to warrant a bottle of this?â He flashes her a sly smile, warming back into form.Â
She shrugs. âIn second and third there were some Slytherins that liked to bother me. I guess I got used to carrying it.â
All amusement drops from his face, eyes flooding with concern. âBut I thought you were mates with Snape.â
âYeah well,â she sighs, âweâve both seen Snapeâs track record for sticking up for me.â
She waits for a cutting jab at Severusâ expense but he gives none.Â
âThanks for this,â he says and reaches the vial back out.
âNo, you keep it.â She doesnât know what compels her, but she gives him the first genuine smile in years, âIâm sure you can find better use for it.â
The smile he offers back feels warm, real.Â
âThank Evans,â he says as he slips the vial into his pocket.
âRemus will love it.â
* * * * *
For once, and unfortunately so, she finds him completely visible.
âAh donât be such a puss Evans. James was just escorting me back to my dorms.âÂ
She finds the two walking down past the kitchens, easily detected by the way Oliviaâs voice bounces off the cold stone of the corridors.They werenât touching when she caught sight of them, but as she approaches, Olivia clasps onto Jamesâ limp arm, giggling with a coy smile.
âDonât know if you can read a clock, but whatever you could have possibly been doing to need an escort was already past curfew.â
James shifts his weight, being more silent than she has ever seen him in five years combined. Olivia gives another high pitched giggle, tightening her hold on his arm.Â
âSorry Evans, we were just busy. Lost track of time yâknow?â Lily can feel her dinner resurfacing in the back of her throat.
âWell, I donât care to know about your extracurriculars,â she turns her head, hoping to mask the flush she can feel on her cheeks, âitâs still twenty points each and a round of detention.â
James raises his head and eyes her with a curiosity that she is unwilling to acknowledge. Beside him, Olivia feigns a pout.
âAh, bugger. Well, I guess that means we will be seeing each other again, right James?âÂ
Lilyâs eyes flick over to him. His curiosity has settled into a tense stare, eyes blown out and focused solely on her.Â
âEr, probably not,â he says with a wooden tone. Oliviaâs eyes narrow, her fingers uncurling slightly from his bicep but not letting go.Â
As per protocol, she escorts them the short distance to the Hufflepuff dorm which they do in silence. Olivia keeps herself attached to Jamesâ arm, but he gives no reciprocation, letting it swing loose at his side. At the entrance, Olivia casts another hopeful glance at him, expecting some form of goodnight, but he remains distant, pulling his arm away from hers like removing an annoying arm brace. With a huff, Olivia ducks into the common room without as much as a goodbye.Â
With Olivia gone, itâs business as usual and Lily escorts James back to the tower like sheâs done so many nights already. But instead of the teasing, the idle small talk, the quippy banter, James remains quiet, their steps echoing through the halls.Â
Even in the silence, even with Jamesâ new pensive behavior, Lily feels lighter with Olivia gone. She steals a glance at him and she can see there is red blotching under the rims of his glasses, eyes focused only ahead at the darkness. A sick part of her wants to demand what he was doing with Oliviaâ wants to hear it even if she knows her stomach will fill with bile from the answer.
âI really was just walking her back.â His voice cuts through the silence, clear and firm.Â
So maybe he is a mind reader now.Â
Like him, she doesnât stop walking. âBad luck Potter. Maybe next time choose a snog partner who can be a little quieter.â She means to tease, but her voice is cutting, filled with a malice she didnât realize she was holding.Â
He stops and she feels fingers curl against her elbow. For the first time that night, their eyes lock.Â
âI wasnât going to snog her.â
She ignores the feeling that her heart is about to take flight and searches his face for a glimmer of sarcasm.
âComing from you, a serial liar, it's hard to believe.â She snorts.
âBut Iâve never lied to you.â
She doesnât know what to say. Suddenly, the corridor becomes very hot, the hand still holding her by the elbow now constrictive.
âWhatever, just drop it Potter, Itâs really none of my business.â
And he does drop it, letting go of her elbow and taking a few strides in front of her. She rushes to catch up, wondering who is leading who back to the dorms now.Â
Their newfound silence and the change in power dynamic makes something like anger take form, twisting her guts into a perilous place of recklessness.Â
âYâknow, you could do a lot better than Olivia Gueresso.â She waits for a physical reaction but nothing comes.Â
âWell itâs not like you're interested.â He says. His voice is so low and so quick she almost misses it. Almost.
âPotterââ she warns, but James is already bounding through the portrait, hand passing through his hair. She follows him down the tunnel, footsteps echoing around them.
 She doesnât know what else she wants from him, but if they reach the firelight of the common room it will be too late.Â
âHey, Potter,â she calls louder and the sound bounces. He turns quickly on his heel and Lily runs straight into him, ricocheting back against his chest. Two calloused hands steady her by her shoulders.Â
âYou know Evans, youâre really lovely in the candlelight.â
Itâs that look again. His eyes glazed on her like there is nothing else in existence. Itâs the second time he has touched her that hour but this time it feels familiar, perhaps even welcome.Â
âWhat are youââ
But the light of the fireplace takes him. He lopes away up to his dorm, not even giving a goodnight.Â
* * * * *
Sixth Year
He wants to be caught.Â
Like normal, he steps out of the shadows but it no longer jars her like it did back in fifth. She hadnât gotten a good look at him at the welcome ceremony but now she can see he has grown over summer. His body is somehow more lean and muscular all at once; his hair wilder, curling farther down his neck. Instead of his typical urge to immediately run a hand through it the second he spots her, his arms stay casual by his sides.Â
âTrying to be awarded the first detention of the year, Potter?â She says cooly, but her heart is already betraying herâsomething itâs been doing more and more often as her thoughts drifted to him over the summer.Â
âIf itâs from you, it would be an honor.â His grin grows, his dimple more pronounced.Â
Lily attempts to scoff, but finds it much more bearable to avert her eyes. Maybe he had stumbled into some good candlelight, but the longer he remains in front of her the more itâs clear whatâs so different about him: he is now infuriatingly fit.Â
âOkâso whereâs the gang? Might as well give it up since you are getting detention no matter what.â
His smile doesnât waver. âNo gang-âIâm solo tonight.â
She dares to look him in the eyes, ignoring the whooshing feeling in her chest. Heâs telling the truth.Â
âAlright, so what? You gonna get early revenge on the Slytherins by yourself?â
He makes a humming noise and his cheeks start to take on a bit more color.Â
âNoâ actually I just wanted to see you.â
It stops all of her thoughts dead. Something about how a small blush colors his cheeks makes her heart beat a bit faster.
âAnd you couldnât see me at dinner or in the common room like a normal person?âÂ
âYeah well, itâs not like any of our mates would act normal if I tried to ask about your summer over the welcome feast,â he mumbles, running his hand through his hair, now clearly a move of anxiety more than arrogance.
She takes a small step towards him. âThatâs really what you want, Potter? You broke school rules on night one to ask me about my holidays?â
âI meanâ-yes?â He rubs a hand through his hair again, eyes starting to shift away. A rush of something that resembles pride takes over her. James Potter is feeling sheepish because of me.
She lets him stew for a minute, mostly to take in the rare power she is wielding before giving him a smirk.Â
âSo do it.â
âDo what?â James gives her an incredulous look, face now so red he could have been slapped.Â
âAsk about my summerâor did you already forget thatâs what you are here for?âÂ
It takes a second, but a grin breaks out on his face, returning him back to form. âAlright Evansâhow was your summer?â
Lily hums clasping her hands behind her back. âWell my dad died soââ
âBloody hell,â James runs both hands through his air, all facial features frozen in complete shock. âI mean, Godric, Evans Iâm so sorryâthatâsâŠthatâsâŠâ
Lily waves a hand in dismissal to distract from any emotion that could be peaking on her face.Â
âEh, donât worry about it. He was a raging arsehole anyways.â
He looks at her, eyes wide and fixated. âYeah but stillâis your mum ok?â
She looks down the hall, trying to stay nonchalant. âYeah, I mean sheâs fineâseeing as sheâs been dead since fourth year.â
âGodric Fuck.â He does a quick spin on his heels, taking a step away from her with his head in his hands before turning back.
âIâmâ shit--How did I not know this?â
Lily frowns at him, tilting her head. âWhat do you mean? Itâs not like weâre close or anything.â
Something about saying that feels false but she pushes the thought away.
He shakes his head. âYeah, but weâve been in the same class, same house since we were eleven. I reckon Iâd at least know somethingâsomething like that.â
She finds it quite endearing that he reels from thisâthat they could cohabitate in the same space for so long without knowing the most basic facts about the other. He continues to rub his face in his hands, looking more tortured by the second.Â
âWell, to be fair, I donât know anything about your family either.â She offers.
He straightens up a bit, sensing her attempt to level the playing field. A glimmer of discomfort still sits in his eyes and despite her being the one newly orphaned, she feels a pull to comfort him.Â
âWell go on,â she prods, hoping to shift attention away from her, âTell me about yours. I know they are purebloodsâŠâ
He raises an eyebrow, wary to move away from her loss, but letting her take the lead.Â
âThereâs not much to sayââ
 Lily bats her eyes, urging him forward. He sighs.
 âThey are still together and disgustingly still in love, which I guess I should appreciate.â
It makes her giggle, thinking about some old wizarding couple making kissing faces while James feigns puking in the corner. His shoulders relax further, leaning into her amusement.Â
âAnd?âÂ
âAndâI dunno. Theyâre barking mad but I love them. Iâm an only child so I imagine you understand now why Iâm like this.â He makes a rare self-deprecating gesture towards himself, something the James from a year ago would never have done. It makes Lily break into a real laugh.Â
âAnd this,â Lily mirrors his gesture, âmeaningâŠâ
James grins, and it does something downright delectable to her heart. âThis meaning an arrogant git who is too thick to notice other peopleâs personal lives.âÂ
It is a sentiment she would have agreed with a thousand times in the past, but hearing it from him now makes her reconsider. It might have been true a year ago, but the boy standing in front of her is decidedly changedâfor one she likes standing next to him in the dark corridor.Â
But she canât say that.
âYour words.â She doesnât elaborate but she offers him a real smile, not one with any edge to it and he returns it.Â
âYeah,Evans. My words.â
* * * * *
It starts a sort of friendship between them. Â
He learns her schedule quickly, finding her in various places of the castle on any given day. She questions him about how he does it: disappears and reappears, knows exactly where sheâs going to be despite intentionally changing her route to confuse himâ but he never answers more than a teasing finger wag. âIâll never reveal my secretsâyou know that Evans.â
He no longer hides from her but hides from the others to get to her. Once found, he appears as usual but with conversation already on his lips. He asks about her life, about the muggle world, about music and films and anything that he can think ofâmaking good on all the lost time in the past six years they have been so close but knew nothing of each other. In turn, she does the same: she finds out that Sirius moved in with the Potters, that his dad is celebrated for a hair taming potion that miraculously doesnât work on his own son (âI swear, itâs my genes Evans, it openly rejects the stuffâI canât help it.â), that he likes autumn and quidditch in the rain and the color greenâŠ
And she is surprised how much she starts to look forward to it. Time has treated him well, the looming war knocking more sense into him than previous years. Instead of being arrogant and self serving, he listens intently, hanging on her every word. They talk passionately about the rising conflict with blood purity and their shared disdain for the dark arts, life after school, their fears for the future. They have more light-hearted moments too: he charms the corridors to play music, daring to take her hand and dance down the hall, brings her a bit of warm bread with cinnamon and sugar from the kitchens, and consistently offers her silly anecdotes that make her laugh harder than she thinks she ever has in her life. Even the silence is comfortableâwarm and encompassing like she imagines his physical touch would be if one of them just made the moveâŠ
âGod, I love Halloween.â
 They sit inside a bay window in the charms corridor, pulling out candy from a plastic bucket shaped like a grinning jack-o-lantern.
âAlright Evans, what in Godric's green potion is this bloody candy?â He holds up a package of candy corn and she giggles, snapping it out of his hands.Â
âDonât act like youâre too good for muggle candyâwe both know how disgusting the wizarding stuff can be.â
James feigns aghast, clenching his chest. âDo you mean to tell me you donât like bogey flavored sugar beansâhow could you Evans? An outrage!âÂ
She lets out a real laugh, one that makes her head tilt back. Heâs been making her do that more with each meeting and every time she does the same look crosses his face: one of triumph mixed with something tender.
âHere, just try oneâI swear it canât be worse than anything youâve already tasted.â
His eyes squint in a mischievous way, turning his head back and forth like a baby refusing a spoon.Â
âNope, no way.âÂ
She leans over more, encroaching into his personal space to poke his tightened mouth with the tip of the candy.Â
âCâmon Potter? Whereâs your courage? Your sense of adventure? Yourââ
He opens his mouth, sucking in the piece. Her hand falls to his lips, feeling the warm press of his tongue on the pads of her fingers.Â
She jerks back, her face blazing hot. Something burning and raw takes over her senses, flooding all vision.Â
âSorry,â he sputters, trying to not choke through his flustering, âI didnâtââ
She doesnât wait to talk herself out of it. She leans back in, pressing the soft line of her lips to his. His mouth immediately molds into hers. Eager and warm, he tastes like sugar and something unmistakably him.Â
âIâm sorry,â she says when she pulls up for air, â I just wanted to knowâŠwe donât have toâ,â but a calloused hand cups her cheek, pulling her mouth back to skim over his.Â
âI donât want your apology,â he whispers and the heat of his breath makes the room spin, âbut I would like you to kiss me again.â
Her mouth is already opening, slotting into place with his. He sighs into her and she canât think of a more wonderful sound in the world.Â
âAlright Potter, Iâll allow it.â
* * * * *
âAre you sure they canât see us?â It comes out more as a pant than a sentence. Jamesâ lips are working down her neck, hands taking advantage of her open shirt to explore undiscovered skin.Â
He hardly lifts his mouth and her body reacts to the heat of his breath, arching forwards into him for more.Â
âWe can go somewhere else...â
Her mind is screaming a loud, resounding yes, but the clock is telling her she still has an hour of patrols. She forces her eyes open. Looking past the hazy screen of Jamesâ cloak she can see the portraits sleeping soundly as though they never existed. Between the discovery of an invisibility cloak and the feel of James' body against hers, it's too much for her to take in at once.Â
He lets out a sigh and she feels the words so lovely being mouthed into her skin. Everything is crackling around her, the world disappearing besides him and his hands and his tongue now dragging lowerâŠ
âTomorrow,â she gasps. âFind me tomorrow right when I get off patrolâ-then take me anywhere you want.â
James detaches his mouth and looks up at her, his swollen lips hung open in wonder.Â
âDoes that mean we need to stop today?â
He tries to pull back, but she grips onto him, not ready to lose the hard line of his body against hers just yet. Thereâs still an hour left of patrols, but is it not still patrolling if she can see the corridor?
She pushes up on her toes to capture his mouth again, their lips slanting together in hot melding kisses.Â
âNoânever stop.â
* * * * *
It turns out James Potter can actually follow directions. The next night he shows up with only five minutes left of patrols to spare and they donât waste a second to slot together, making good on the promise to go wherever he pleases.
Over time her speculation of his invisibility cloak lessens, almost preferring the danger of it to the dingy passageways and small alcoves that he pulls her into each night. But she will take whatever she can getâwaiting impatiently through her patrols for that moment when he slides out of the darkness to pull her back in with him.Â
In the safety of the cloak or the darkness of some secret hiding spot, she feels a hunger she has never experienced. Itâs almost pavlovian in natureâthe second the clock nears eleven, her body vibrates at the thought of him, prickling under the anticipation of his touch. When reunited, they wedge together like two pieces of the same stone, hands and mouths frantic and roaming, words coming out in soft sighs and quiet pants that rise into the air like smoke.Â
Patrols are no longer enough and nights feel achingly short for the amount of desire they have for each other. Their meetings start to seep into the daytimeâ ending up in the same passageways and closets but now with the added danger of roaming students and curious friends. During classes, they steal glances and sometimes dare to sit beside each other to let hands travel deliciously out of sight. When no one is looking, they pass notes between classes, trying to convey all the sweeping emotions into tiny phrases like I canât wait to see you, I need you, you are so lovely, you make me so happy.
It stays like this for days, then weeks. Him always coming to find her, her letting him take the world away. Their time together always a sure thing.
Until it isnât.Â
A quarter past eleven and he hasnât shown up. She stands in the hall, one of the many recurring places he has found in her the past couple weeks. Her body still vibrates on cue, hungry to feel the scrape of his hands on her, but mentally she knows that something seems wrong.
Would it be impossible for him to not come?
Hearing a noise echo down the hall she turns on her heel, excitement flooding her cheeks, but instead of James loping out of the shadows, someone else stands there, face twisted like a predator hunting prey.Â
âYou look happy to see me.â Antonin Dolohov purrs out, his eyes scanning down her body with a salacious grin.
âItâs past curfew Dolohov. Thatâs 20 points and two days detention.â She doesn't let his lewd gaze affect her, keeping her chin high while her hand hovers over her wand pocket.Â
âDetention,â he tuts, âI much prefer doing the detaining if you catch my drift, but Iâm interested in how a mudblood like you plans to go about it.â
He takes a step forward and Lily pulls out her wand, pointing it straight between his eyes.Â
âEnough.â
His smile twists again, nonplussed by the threat. â I see why Snape has always had such a hard on for you, Evans. You are a pretty girl for a mudblood. Why donât you be a good little girl and get on your knees for me like you do to keep old Slughornâ
âStupefy.â
She doesnât even blink. The proximity of her wand to his forehead makes him knock back and he lands with a thud on the ground. The anger and fear that has been mounting since he appeared boils over and rushes out of her, her wand hand moving on its own accord. She can hear herself as though through a tunnel, hitting Dolohovâs motionless body with spell after spell, each one landing and sizzling into him like a lightning rod. Tears fall hot and globbing on her cheeks.Â
Lily! Lily!
She feels strong and familiar arms wrap around her, pulling the wand out of her hand and throwing it to the ground. She makes heaving noises, pushing away from James as he wrestles her in his arms, trying to reach her through the fury.Â
âLily, thatâs enough, You have to stop.â
But something inside her doesnât want to stop. Her time with James has been a good distraction, but she is tired. Tired of the blood purity talks, tired of the endless bullying and spiteful words, tired of forever being a freak no matter what she does and no matter how much she tries to prove herself. Her prefect badge, her good grades, her perfect transitions from one world to the next will never be enough, because people like Dolohov wonât let it.Â
 Her legs give out, letting the tears fall in choked sobs. James collapses on the ground with her, pushing her head into his chest, letting his shirt become soaked through.
âYou didnât comeâŠâ She cries out. Itâs the smallest of the things on her mind, but itâs the only one she can accurately put into words.Â
âI know, Iâm sorry, I was just coming to find youâ-Siriusâ mum had sent him a howler andââ
âSo now you're selfish too,â she hisses to herself. Pushing herself into him more, she tries to calm the animal noises that keep spilling from her mouth. From behind them, Dolohov groans, some of the hexes starting to wear off.Â
âLily, I need you to breathe. We need to get out of hereâdid he touch you?â He pulls back to surveille her.
She is still taking ragged, shallow breaths, eyes burning from the salt of her tears. Sounds echo from down the corridor and James quickly scrambles to pull her into his arms, hoisting her into a cradle against his chest.Â
Like always, they disappear together, this time behind a tapestry where there is enough room for them to spread outâthough they donât.
âItâs alrightâIâm right here.â
She clings to him, and he continues to whisper comforting words, caressing her hair, her ears, her neck. Finally, she drifts off to sleep, the smell of him and the rhythm of his breathing the only thing tethering her from some sort of madness.Â
* * * * *
Seventh Year
âLily, pleaseââ
But she keeps walking down the corridor, actively looking in directions that are anywhere but at him.Â
âIâm not going to give up. Why did you stop answering my letters? Everything was soâso perfectâŠâ
It had been. The summer days were spent writing letters back and forth, exchanging photos, filling in for time spent apart. At first they had to come up with creative excuses to see each other without anyone finding out (âOh, well I was just thought a quick run to Diagon Alley would be nice.â) before Dumbledore gifted them with the greatest excuse of all (âSirius, youâll be at your Uncleâs, yeah? Lily is popping in to do some Headsâ planningâdonât worry, it will be more of a choreâŠâ).
The days they spent that summer bouncing between each otherâs houses were some of the best she had ever experienced. Safe from the wandering eyes of classmates, they held hands openly, caressed each other without shame, and spoke admiringly for the first time in normal speaking voices. They snuck into the otherâs house at night, crawling into the otherâs bed unable to wait the days or hours to press together again, unable to bear wasting another second without their breaths intertwining, bodies always unimaginably hungry for the otherâs touch.Â
But then there was silence.Â
âIs it about the sex? Because we can go back to taking things slow I donâtââ
âOf course itâs not about the bloody sex,â she spits out, unable to contain her shock. âThatâthat was incredible butââ
âBut what? Lily, Iâm going mad. Ask SiriusâI've nearly burrowed a path into my sitting room floor from all the pacing I did in the last week.â
She doesnât want to look him in the eye because she knows if she does he will see it all: Snape coming to her door, warning her about the Dark Lordâs rising, his plan to kill anyone who is a traitor to his causeâŠ
If I did something, I will fix it, I swear,â his voice cracks, tears on the brink of falling, âI justâŠreally need you back. I miss you.â
This time itâs her turn to disappear. She continues walking down the hall, snuffing out her wand light so he is left in the dark.Â
* * * *
He isnât looking for her, but he gravitates towards her anyway.
He was lucky he didnât miss her entirely. Way up in the highest rung of the stands, the light of the stars betray her by reflecting auburn hair like a beacon. He knows itâs only self-sabotage at this point to approach, having spent exactly two weeks now with no communication whatsoever, but he does it anyway because he can see her shivering from all the way down on the pitchâand because he has never been able to resist her, even now.Â
âItâs too cold to be out here like that.âÂ
He takes off his quidditch cloak and offers it to her, but she doesnât even look at it, staring off into the distance.Â
Taking her silence as an invitation, he sits, leaving enough distance between them to show his caution. Just like in the candlelit corridors, the light from the stars mingle with the color of her eyes, making them glimmer like jewels on her face. It takes everything in his body not to reach for her, fearing that the sparkle will subside the minute he does.Â
âThereâs a war out there,â she says, her voice hollow and cold like the wind.Â
âYeah, so Iâve heard.â
Thereâs silence again. The wind cuts through the stands and brushes her hair up into the air like fire dancing.Â
âThe potions master I applied to apprentice under owled back todayâhe says he wonât accept my application because Iâm a mudblood.â
His head jerks in her direction. He has never heard her say that word before. Instinctively his hands clench at his sides, anger like waves in his chest.Â
âThen he doesnât deserve you, the tosserâ-People should be lining up to work with you, youâre bloody brilliant.â He means every word, and he can tell she knows he means it too. A small, pitiful smile tugs at her lips.Â
âBloody brilliant doesnât change my birthâmight as well revert back to a muggle at this rateâŠâ
He doesnât want to hear anymore. He stands and forces himself in front of her and she looks up at him with a deep, pained look.
âWhat has gotten into you? The Evans I know wouldnât say shite like this. The Evans I love wouldnâtââ
He stops cold, watching her catch the word before he does. Love. The Evans he loves.Â
âYou donât want to love me,â she whispers, tears falling hot now against her cheeks.Â
âBut I doââ It comes out as a gasp, the suffering of two weeks without her pouring out of him like a broken dam. âIs this what itâs all about? That youâve decided you arenât good enough?â
âIâm not though,â her voice rises, face twisting into a sob. âIâm not good enough for the bloody wizarding or muggle world, not good enough to find work after school, not good enough for you.âÂ
The last word comes biting out and James freezes in place, feeling as though he has been stunned.Â
âLily, what are you talking about? When have I ever, ever said you arenât good enough for me.â
Her eyes dart around, hands thrashing to remove the tears that keep coming.Â
âYou donât have to say it. Youâre a purebloodâIâve heard the talk. The death eaters will come to your family eventually and ask for support. If Iâm with youâŠâ a sob cuts off her words. She stands up, preparing to bolt but he grabs her by the forearm, holding her there with the wind tugging at her hair.Â
âIf youâre with me than fuck them.â
The tears make her eyes glimmer but not in the way he wants to see them. He expects her to try to run again, but she doesnât.Â
âLily, I donât care. I donât care. You could be half troll and I would still want to be with you. Donât you see? This is what they want, for you to be afraidâto give up.â
He takes the chance to slide a hand onto her cheek, wiping away some of the tears she has failed to stop.Â
âIâI love you, Lily. And if you donât want that because you donât feel it back, then I will disappear. But if you donât want it because you are scared thenâŠthen I wonât accept that.â
He searches her eyes, wondering if he is making the biggest mistake of his life by pushing her. She looks back and even with all the pain he canât stop thinking about how absolutely lovely she looks in the moonlight. Her hair, her eyesâeven the tears. He burns the image into his memory, knowing that even if itâs the last night next to her, at least he will have her beauty in this moment forever.Â
âI donât want you to disappear.âÂ
The wind carries her voice and places it right into his beating heart, suddenly as warm as sunlight.Â
âI donât want you to disappear, because I love you too.â
* * * *
Now, they disappear into each other. Instead of dimly lit corridors, he pulls her into a kiss the second she leaves class. Whispers and hidden notes are replaced with laughter and shrieks of joy as he lifts her up and spins her after a quidditch game, not caring to even glimpse at the house cup. In the sunlight by the lake they tangle together, studying, laughing, snoggingâespecially snogging, making up for all the lost time in the weeks they were apart and for all the other years they could have been together. The night becomes a special placeâone of nostalgia and hope. Instead of meeting in grimy alcoves, she follows his lead to his bed where they slot together like two pieces if a whole, trying to meld back as one.Â
He was always a beacon of light in the darkness, but in the sunlight he is breathtaking. Always a presence of comfort and joy and love. So much love that she wonders if she had ever felt it beforeânot even the love of family could compare to what he is capable of showing her. She gives it back tenfold, keeping him impossibly close and hoping she will never have to let go.Â
âJamesâyou canât just hide.â
Itâs odd to see the shimmering movement of the cloak in the daylight. A muffled voice calls out from where he was just next to her, sheepish and frantic.
âDonât mind meâjust completely turned to dust from embarrassment.â
A smile cracks on her lips, her heart makes fluttering beats in her chest.
âYou donât have to answer me todayâ-or at all. We could just pretend it never happened.â
She reaches out towards where his voice is coming from, but hears his feet move back on the grass.Â
âJames,â she sighs, â I was going to say yes.â
It hangs in the air. She can practically feel his heartbeat from whatever distance away he stands hiding.Â
âSo, if you would stop freaking outââ she adds, cheeks filling with pink, âIâd really like to kiss my new fiancĂ©.â
His head pops out, floating detached in front of her. It would remind her of the first time she ever caught him past curfew, but instead of a mischievous grin, his face is flush and eyes blown wide.Â
âIâm not freaking out,â he murmurs, âButâjust to be sure, did just call me your fiancĂ©?â
She moves quickly, grabbing hold of the cloak and pulling herself under into his arms. She can feel his body buzzing against hers, fingers moving in shock to wrap around her body.Â
âYes, I did,â she says, pressing her lips into his. âAnd yes, I will marry you.â
If the cloak falls away, they donât notice. He picks her up and she wraps herself around him, the warmth of his skin and the May sunlight working in tandem. His shock has worn off and he kisses her in earnest, and she is more than happy to reciprocate.Â
They could have stayed like that for hours, daysâit didnât matter anymore. With him, everything else disappears.Â
#Jily#james potter#lily evans#marauders era#yallthemwitches#my writing#jily fanfiction#james x lily#jily getting together through the years
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Old Tricks - P3
A/N: Now I canât stop writingâŠ
Pairing: Tony Stark x F! Reader
Warnings: 18+ themes, fluff.
Find Part 1 & Part 2 here ;)
.
Your husband was missing. Again.
And right after promising that he wouldnât be late for movie night.
Movie nights. Something you had designated every once in a while complete with buttery popcorn and candy and lots of fluffy pillows and blankets.
Sighing, you finished your glass of wine while his lay untouched and made your way downstairs where he was probably killing his back over some invention.
As suspected, there he was, deep in conversation with his virtual best friend, FRIDAY. You hadnât decided whether to let this go or go up to him and remind him of what heâd missed. It didnât hurt you because you had lived with the man long enough to understand he never did it on purpose.
Curiosity had gotten the better of you when you squinted to see what he was up to, watching your husband scroll through pictures that resembledâŠsex toys?
âLetâs keep the face plate easily retractable too, the wife has a thing for neck kisses and so do I.â
Tony murmured, mostly to himself but he made amendments to the project in front of him, fingers gliding over the keyboard to put his words into actuality. He had lost track of time but only because it was directed towards a little present he had been working on, for you.
Unknown to him, you were standing back within earshot, watching him work with a mixture of shock and amusement on your face.
âI mean, I know Y/N loves coming on my fingers just as much. Maybe we could tweak the suit? Add additional modes on the vibrators too.â
Sure, boss.
Blush crept up your cheeks as his words fell on your ears, it was as if he was discussing any other modification to be done to his Iron Man suits. You tiptoed inside, not wanting to announce your presence just yet as Tony Stark - the successor of Stark Industries, genius inventor, world-renown superhero and philanthropist continued his back and forth with the AI.
You watched as prototypes holograms of his suit showed up, the alterations he spoke about highlighted along with detailed description of its features. The man ran his fingers through his hair, leaving them a glorious mess before walked around the table as if to get a whole 360 view.
Clearing your throat finally, you stifled a laugh as your husband jumped with a hand over his heart.
âJesus Christ! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?â
Chuckling, you wrapped your arms around the man and reached up to give him a soft kiss. He sighed and hugged you, rubbing your back gently.
âYou know among the things I presumed you do down here, I never imagined Iâd catch you doing this. I also didnât realise we had branched out to Adults Toys R Us.â You giggled when Tony playfully slapped your butt, joining in your laughter.
âIt was supposed to be a surprise and a silly little gift. For the countless dates Iâve missed, Iâm sorry.â He stared at his feet, scratching the back of his neck almost nervously.
âSo youâre making me an apology sex toy? You continue to amaze me, Mr. Stark.â You murmured, making him look up at you again before pressing your lips to his lightly.
The man truly was unbelievable.
âWhat did I miss?â He asked earnestly, guilt evidently reflecting in his brown eyes.
âOur movie night. But itâs okay, I wonât hold it against you. Especially not if promise to reveal what all of this is about.â
Chuckling lowly, Tony planted his head on your shoulder, letting out a tired sigh and a purr the moment your fingers ran through his hair, comforting him.
âAm I going to get a demo or what?â You turned towards his work station while still keeping your arms around him.
âNope. Itâs still a work in progress.â Tony shrugged, swiftly shutting down his work.
âOh come on, Tony! At least tell me something about it, what does it look like, how do I use itââ
âOh no, youâre not going to use it. I am.â
You frowned, coaxing him to continue, now that heâd really got your interest piqued. It wasnât surprising that he would design something like this without involving an element of âhimâ in it.
âYouâre giving me a present thatâs meant to be used by you? Hmm, Iâm not so sure if I want it now..â you teased, welcoming Tony as he slotted himself between your legs, caging you in by placing both his arms on either side.
âOh you want it, alright. Iâve made sure itâs everything youâd wished for and more.â
âHmm.. I would like some more details before I decide how I feel about this present.â Your arms naturally found their way behind his neck, excitement already building deep within as your little banter continued.
âWell?â
âLetâs just say all of your suit kink prayers have been answered, Mrs. Stark.â
No smut just yet đ€
#tony stark x reader#tony stark fanfiction#tony stark fluff#tony stark imagine#tony stark drabble#tony stark x you#tony stark smut#the stark squad#mostly marvel musings#marvel fanfiction#tony stark
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Apple of My Eye Chapter Two
Eventual! Harry Hook x Child of Snow White! Reader
Chapter Two: Friend Like Me
Summary: (Y/N) and the VKs get along very well, even if other Auradon kids are avoiding them.
           (Y/N) grimaced as they walked towards the âRemedial Goodness 101â classroom. They wished they had known about the class before Evie, Carlos, Mal, and Jay arrived. Then they could have said, âNo, thatâs a terrible idea for a class because itâs demeaning and horrible and also says to their face that we think theyâre stupid and already evil.â
           Unfortunately, it was done, and the VKs were stuck in the class. Fortunately, the hour was up, and (Y/N) got to save them from Fairy Godmotherâs cliches and take them to their next class.
           âYou find a vial of poison!â said Fairy Godmother dramatically. âDo you: A, put it in the kingâs wine? B, paint it on an apple?ââ Laughter from Evie, non-malicious, and the othersâ âOr C, turn it over to the proper authorities?â
           âObviously paint it on an apple,â said (Y/N) as they walked into the room. âBecause who is silly enough to take an apple from a stranger?â They laughed.
           Evie chuckled a little, Mal snorted, and Jay and Carlos grinned. Fairy Godmother sighed, used to (Y/N)âs humor, and put on a smile.
           âIs our time up already?â said Fairy Godmother.
           âYouâre the stickler for time,â said (Y/N). âItâs time for gym for Jay and Carlos, and Evie and Mal have English with me.â
           âAlright, donât be late,â said Fairy Godmother, waving as her students packed up to leave. âAnd remember to be good!â
           âIâm really sorry about that class,â said (Y/N). âI think Ben was pushed into allowing it so that everyone would relax.â They sighed. âAt least itâs an easy A.â
           âPick the least fun option is the answer key,â said Mal, smirking. Sheâd already figured it out.
           (Y/N) chuckled.
l
           âWelcome to our poetry class,â said (Y/N), sitting down at a table. Evie and Mal sat across from them.
           âWe have to write about our feelings?â said Mal, unimpressed.
           âNo, we can write about anything. Todayâs a free day,â said (Y/N). âWe can either read the assigned piecesâweâre currently reading about poems on nature and how some social classes look at nature positively due to their position while others look at it negativelyâor we work on our own pieces. At the end of the year weâll have a curated collection to show growth and understanding of various techniques.â
           âIâm still not going to make itâŠsappy,â said Mal.
           âDo spells have a cadence?â asked (Y/N).
           âYes,â said Mal. âObviously. Otherwise youâre just talking.â
           âSo spells are poems with magic,â said (Y/N). âTry making your own spell.â
           âAnd it can be anything?â said Mal, considering now. She could create an evil spell to impress her mother with.
           âPreferably not a curse, I donât think anyone would appreciate that,â said (Y/N).
           Mal hummed noncommittedly. Sheâd behave in front of everyone, but her mission was clear. She would make her mother proud.
           âIâm going to write about finding my prince,â sighed Evie. âAnd castles. And ballgowns.â
           âYouâre going to love your arts elective,â said (Y/N). They smiled. âItâs design.â
           Mal could have sworn she saw hearts in Evieâs eyes and decided to erase the disgusting sight from her memory. And she pushed away the smile that twitched at the edges of her lips upon seeing her best friend so happy.
l
           âI can use any of this,â said Evie, staring at the rolls upon rolls of fabric before her.
           âYeah,â said (Y/N) as they sketched. âAnd if youâre part of the design club, you can come any time during the day, not just your class.â They smiled. âMost people in this class do it to learn small DIYs, they still like their personal tailors and everything, but some people have made formal gowns and suits here, too.â
           âIâm going to make a whole new wardrobe,â said Evie, flipping open her sketchbook and getting to work.
           (Y/N) smiled.
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           âYou donât have to work with me,â said Mal coldly as she measured the chemical they were about to combine in the flask. Chemistry required a lot of close attention.
           âYou needed a partner, and everyone else here knows someone,â said (Y/N), holding the flask steady.
           âYou mean no one wants to work with the Villain Kid,â said Mal, straightforward. âAnd youâre assigned to us.â
           âI volunteered,â said (Y/N).
           Mal paused and looked at them. âYou volunteered?â She didnât believe it.
           âYeah,â said (Y/N), smiling.
           âWhy?â demanded Mal.
           âBecause I think Benâs right,â said (Y/N). âYou and all the other children born on the Isle arenât at fault for what your parents did. You deserve freedom, a chance to live your own story.â They smiled. âSo I volunteered to work on the project. I want you, Evie, Carlos, and Jay to do well here so that Ben can bring more kids over.â
           âAnd yet he chose the worst and the worst to start out with,â said Mal.
           âGo big or go home, right?â said (Y/N), chuckling.
           âMy mom tried that by turning into a dragon, and I think she got the âgo homeâ option. Sheâs still not over that,â remarked Mal with a grin.
           âMy mom had to create a pros and cons list for eating nectarines because theyâre a cross of peaches and apples, and sheâs still suspicious of all apples,â said (Y/N).
           The pair looked at each other before laughing.
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           âHow do you think things are going?â asked Ben excitedly. âI think Jay is interested in Tourney, and Carlos likes Dude!â
           âThatâs great,â said (Y/N), smiling.
           âI saw Mal with Jane. Are they friends?â said Ben, a large grin on his face. âThis is going so well.â
           âSlow down,â said (Y/N). âItâs only been a few days. Things are still settling for them.â
           âBut it has been going well,â said Ben.
           âWell, theyâve been doing well in classes, which is good,â said (Y/N). âAnd Jane and Mal have hung out more.â They frowned. âEven if it is because Mal did Janeâs hairâŠâ They were a bit hesitant around beauty magic due to theâŠlengths some people went with insecuritiesâsomeone trying to murder your mother over looks would make you unsure about that magicâbut it was just hair, right? And it was a nice thing Mal did. âBut Jane seems happier, and Mal was only hanging with the VKs and me before that, so I guess itâs a step. And Evie spends time with Doug. And Chad, unfortunately, but heâs harmless other than having a pretty face with no real brain.â
           âYou spend a lot of time with them,â said Ben. âYou guys seem to be real friends.â
           âJealous?â said (Y/N), glancing at Ben. They knew he spent a lot of time checking up with Mal when he saw her.
           He coughed and turned a bit red. âJealous? No, just concerned. I want to make sure theyâre doing well.â
           âUh-huh,â hummed (Y/N).
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           âMom said, âIf a boy canât see the beauty within, then heâs not worth it,â â complained Jane. âCan you believe it? What world does she live in?â
           âAuradon,â said Mal.
           âJane, do you want a man who only wants beauty or one that loves all of you?â said (Y/N).
           Jane sighed. âAll of me. But they all want beauty, too.â
           âYou are beautiful, Jane,â said (Y/N). They wished their friends could see their own beauty, inside and out.
           âSays the child of Snow White, the most beautiful woman ever,â grumbled Jane.
           âDoes it look like I got those genes?â said (Y/N), leaning on their hand.
           Jane huffed. âStill better than me. I got stocky fairy genes.â
           âMal, (Y/N), what do you think?â Evie held up her latest creation, a black and blue dress.
           âIt brings out your eyes,â said Mal.
           âIt looks nice,â said (Y/N).
           âI know,â said Evie proudly.
           âIâll never get a boyfriend,â bemoaned Jane.
           âBoyfriends are overrated,â said Mal.
           âHow would you know, Mal? Youâve never had one,â said Evie.
           âItâs âcause I donât need one, E,â retorted Mal. âTheyâre a waste of time.â
           Evie gasped at the mention of time. âI forgot to do Chadâs homework!â
           âAnd that is exactly what I mean,â said Mal.
           âEvie, you shouldnât do it for him,â said (Y/N). âHe is not worth it.â Evie was worth so much more than just her looks, and that was all Chad would look at.
           âWhat, is he a bad ex?â said Mal, smirking.
           âNo, heâs just a shallow idiot,â said (Y/N). âThink male version of Audrey but less sharp.â
           Mal snorted at the description.
           âYou always land great partners,â said Jane. âThatâs why you donât worry like I do.â
           âIâve had two dates,â said (Y/N), shrugging. âAnd neither of them were right for me.â
           Evie put down Chadâs homework to grin. âSpill. Who?â
           âPrincess Ariel and Prince Ericâs son and Prince Naveen and Princess Tianaâs daughter,â said (Y/N).
           âYou dated two royals?â Evie sighed. âLucky.â
           âI went out on one day with each, but neither gave me a real spark. I just felt content. I didnât feel alive,â said (Y/N). They smiled. âIâm still waiting to find True Love.â
           âTrue Love, huh? If it hadnât defeated my mom, I wouldnât believe in it,â said Mal.
           âIt is pretty rare,â admitted (Y/N). âBut it would still be nice to find it.â
           Evie smiled softly. âYeah.â
            Knock-knock.
           Lonnie, (Y/N)âs friend, knocked on the door of the room and peeked inside.
           âHi,â she said, smiling at everyone. âIâm Lonnie. My Momâs Mulan? No? Anyways, I love what youâve done with Janeâs hair.â Lonnie grinned at Mal. âAnd I know you hate us, and, well, youâre evilââ (Y/N) frowned ââBut do you think you can do mine?â
           Mal frowned. âWhy would I do that for you?â
           âIâll pay you fifty dollars,â said Lonnie.
           âGood answer.â Evie took the money. âI need to buy more material. Letâs seeâŠIâm thinking weâll lose the bangs, maybe some layers, and some highlights.â
           âYeah, yeah, I want it to be cool,â said Lonnie. âLike Malâs.â
           âThe split ends, too?â said Evie. Mal glowered, and Evie just smirked and shook the money at her.
           Mal sighed, grabbed her spell book, and flipped through it. âOkayâŠâBeware, foreswear, replace the old with cool hair.â â She drew a design in the air with her finger.
           Lonnieâs hair became a lighter brown and cascaded down her shoulders in soft curls. She touched the soft locks and looked into the mirror. Her eyes widened.
           âI know, I know,â said Evie. âIt looks like a mop on your head. You know what, letâs cut it off. Layer itââ
           âNo, no, no,â said Lonnie, grinning. âI love it.â
           âYou do?â said Evie.
           Lonnie grabbed the edge of her skirt and ripped. Now she had a slit in her skirt. âNow Iâm cool,â she said proudly.
           Jane walked up next to her and looked in the mirror. She grabbed the hem of her skirt. She tore. Then, she gasped. âWhat did I just do? Momâs gonna kill me.â
           âShe wonât, itâs just a skirt,â said (Y/N), waving a hand.
           âThanks, Mal,â said Lonnie. She smiled. âIâm going to tell all the girls. Bye!â She left the room. Jane hurried out after her, already trying to figure out what to tell her mom about her skirt.
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           (Y/N) yawned as they walked towards the dorm kitchen. They were starving, and theyâd run out of fruit theyâd kept in their dorm, so off to the kitchens they went. They opened the door and found a startled Mal, Evie, Carlos, and Jay staring at them from inside.
           Smiling, they walked farther in. âHey, guys, grabbing a midnight snack, too?â They looked at the cookie batter on the table. âLooks good. Mind if I try some?â They grabbed a spoon, dipped it, and took a bite. âMmm.â
           Evie and Mal winced, Carlos and Jay exchanged glances, and all four looked at (Y/N) expectantly.
           âDo youâŠfeel anything?â said Evie slowly.
           âLike itâsâŠmissing something?â said Mal.
           âYou guys could add chocolate chips,â suggested (Y/N), turning to the fridge. Behind them, all the VKs let out a breath of relief that nothing had gone wrong.
           âChocolate chips?â said Jay, furrowing his brow.
           âSome of the best treats out there,â said (Y/N), taking a bag out of the fridge. They smiled. âMy mom would always add them to brownies and cookies when I was feeling down.â (Y/N) sprinkled some into the bowl, and the VKs watched the tiny pieces of chocolate mix with the batter.
           âFeeling down?â said Evie quietly.
           âYeah,â said (Y/N), leaning on the table. âI had a tough time with insecurity growing up. When everyone in the world thinks your mom is beautiful, they make comments expecting you to be. It took me a while to learn not to compare myself to others.â They smiled as they remembered their childhood. âBut my mom would always remind me of what mattered when I got down, and sheâd make us sweets, put on a movie, and just hold me.â They looked up, and their face fell.
           Each of the VKs was staring at them with a strange look in their eyes. Carlos had leaned in longingly. Jay was silent, looking at his feet. Mal had furrowed her brow, confused by the idea of what (Y/N)âs mom was like. Evie stared at the cookie batter, thinking of all the times sheâd been insecure and been reminded she would never be as fair as her mom but she needed to be second best at least.
           They hadnât gotten that softness, that kindness.
           âDid IâŠsay something?â said (Y/N) quietly. They hadnât meant to upset them.
           Mal cleared her throat. âItâs just different where weâre from.â
           âOh. So your parents didnâtââ (Y/N) swallowed as they watched the VKs shift and blink away their emotions. Tears burned the edges of (Y/N)âs eyes. The VKsâ parents hadnât helped any of them deal with their insecurities and instead fed into them. âIâm sorry,â whispered (Y/N). âYou deserve better.â A tear ran down their cheek.
           Malâs eyes widened, she reached out, and she wiped the tear from (Y/N)âs cheek. (Y/N) blinked in confusion, and Mal flicked her hands dryâand the tear âhappenedâ to fall into the bowl of batter.
           âYeah, well, big bummer,â said Mal, clearing her throat and moving on. She was not soft. âBut we have to get these in the oven, so thank you so much for coming by.â
           âBye,â said Evie as Mal pushed (Y/N) towards the door.
           âOh, yeah, right,â said (Y/N). They wouldnât intrude any more after ruining the mood. âGoodnight.â
           âWeâll see you tomorrow,â said Mal.
           âSweâEvil dreams,â said Evie.
Taglist:
@neenieweenie
@hampterfae
@american-idiot-jpg
@lunalixya
@roo024
@unholycheesesnack
@paastaboi
@lbee13
#descendants 1#descendants x reader#mal descendants#disney descendants#descendants#descendants harry#harry hook x reader#harry hook#x reader#gn reader#nb reader#x gn reader#x nb reader#disney x reader#child of snow white#evie descendants#carlos descendants#ben descendants#jay descendants
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad đ
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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Last night I made a list of all the ways drinking has been negatively effecting me, my relationships, those around me, my body and mind, and my life as a whole recently.
There are 45 separate things listed on there so far
#itâs just .. idk how to go from a pint of vodka a night to nothing#if I try to taper or ween off Iâll just keep drinking too much#I canât sleep without it anymore either even when I take like 300mg seroquel#literally need fuckin at least 8 drinks to even sleep anymore..#if I do get to sleep it will be like an hour before my sleep is disrupted#Iâm fed up#and I donât want to do this to myself anymore#but itâs so much easier said than done#I know if I continue on this path my body and mind will both continue to be damaged#and I know that if I donât do something very soon I could end up drinking like this or worse for the rest of my life.#I want and deserve better than that#there is so much more to life than this#and I intend to experience as much of it as possible. without needing a substance to get through the day#ah#I donât want to be like this anymore#but I really fear itâs too late to change or turn back#sorry lol a lot on my mind
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kicking and screaming FREE ME ALREADY
#tw vent#vent#PLEASE GET ME OUT OF HERE#i dont wanna do this anymore and i have to wait 3 weeks to actually leave#threeeeee weeeeeks of heeeeeeell#like i said: i genuinely could care less anymore so me? studying? lmaoooo lololol#the only thing im afraid of is more getting yelled at and being treated as incompetent#yeah babey!! i sure am incompetent!! and that is why!!! i am leaving !!! i hate ALL OF YOU#as i said before: all things i do lately is judt for expectation its not even like 'for my future'#i just want this done asap#anyways sorry i just needed to vent this.#internets still bad here too đ#the guy was supposed to fix it 4 hours ago but um. didnt show up lmao#im sorry lately if i seem really down rhese days#i know i said im gonna try to be positive (at least i still have happy logs)#but Man.
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I just wanted you to know you're very wholesome and I admire that, because it's something hard to keep as you grow older. You're like Polites on cotton candy đ
Oh, thank you! đ„č That's incredibly sweet!
I always try my best to look on the bright (yet still understanding) side of things as there always is one! :D There's good in everything! Even in darker aspects of a story/myth!
There's a lot of humanity and kindness in places you wouldn't expect and it honestly feels silly to act like such things aren't possible! :D
#Sorry this is a little late! I've gotten a few asks recently and I'm trying to space them out!!! :D#honestly. I love finding and creating little quirks and characteristics of characters and noticing them irl too#I just don't really see the point in bitterness about stuff. I know I can get fired up and angry myself but to only have bitterness is...#not gonna help in the long run.#There's only so much unwholesomeness in the world before you just get tired you know? :'D#I mean... unlike Epic Polites I DEFINITELY have âmeanâ moments. I'm not perfect but I always try and see good.#Honestly I relate to Odysseus a lot (technically Penelope too) but with the whole âso much love and hate inside one personâ#as I have a lot of love (âż âĄâżâĄ) ...but there's a lot of R A G E too (ÊáŽÊâż)#also trauma O_O I am healing through this idiot.#I mean the reason why I love the Odyssey so much is that to me. It's saying no matter what you've done or what you've been through#you CAN know peace. the âJoy like a sailorâ part really cements that to me.#The âsailorâ is still covered in brine and he's cold but he can BREATHE again. It's a step in the right direction.#ask#simugeuge#đ©”#Mad rambles
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They have literally every paystub the uni has ever given me now. If that still isn't what they want (and per the rep, she's not sure why the other rep acted as they did, or why my client ID wasn't linked to anything except my application despite my other submitted documents being RIGHT THERE and only linkable to the number on their side of things)
then idk. I'm trying. I don't know why a lot of the time, but I'm still trying
(that could be a tshirt to sum up my life tbh: 'life keeps kicking me and telling me 'no' and for some reason. I keep trying.')
#text post#sorry I'll shut the fuck up abt this now I'm just.#tired of always trying to do the right thing and/or what's wanted and expected of me and then i do it#but somehow im still in the wrong. there's a moved goalpost no one tells me abt until it's nearly too late#and they sit there and go uwu well mayb u should be better at all of this. mayb u should have known the info that no one has told u.#whatever it's done i have a headache on t break day 2 bc the one 5 mg edible i tried last night did nothing for me#when usually it would after a short t break#and i should really film and get something uploaded before the holidays bc my ratings been dropping on that#so. onwards we go. for what reason? pls don't fucking ask
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Oh also so many random opportunities are opening up for me. I don't talk about this here much but I'm in uni atm and I'm a huge insect lover, I'm friends with the head of the (tiny) entomology department at my uni, I'm taking entomology in the fall, etc, and the prof said he thinks I could possibly get some experience working in insect collections đ a lot of the class is collecting and pinning (and photographing ofc).. I'm super excited even though it is a 5 hour class at an inconvenient time of day lol
#broadly though my schedule in the fall IS inconvenient#unfortunately it probably means i have to quit my job. again#ugh#im so poor i really cant afford to be quitting my job a semester before i graduate but theres not much i can do#im in class all day every day EXCEPT for the days my workplace is conveniently (lol) closed#i dont know what im going to do#ideally i could do commissions to help me get through those months but i havent made any money from them so far so#i dont have high hopes#i have to keep on that grindset though lmfao i do want to be an illustrator#and i have started outlining my first article/video essay so keep an eye out for that?#im probably gonna try and get that done over the summer (with what time đ idk)#anyway. sorry for rambling again#just putting my thoughts in order at 2200#i took my afternoon nap too late
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.
#so today i broke down and fully cried over realizing the reality that i probably won't be able to go see Taylor on this tour#and i felt so stupid for it like crying over not getting to see a concert seems so trivial and i mean so many reasons but like#and like i don't cry much anymore like I've been through and am in so much pain and horrible stuff constantly and so much stress and trauma#but I've built up strength to not cry over those things like if i did I'd just be crying nonstop so i channel my emotions into trying to#solve the problems and like still I'm so unbelievably stressed but like also as an empath i feel everything really deeply but usually lately#the things that make me cry are more like sweet animal rescue videos acts of kindness touching stories or really deeply inspirational or#relatable things in books etc but so like I'm like mad at myself for crying over this but#i checked the stubhub like prices for what tix are going for and it's fucking over 500 a pop for nosebleeds i just#it's infuriating the scalping and how many hard core fans are unable to go bc of that but rich ppl who aren't really fans i just. 1000 bucks#for 300 level is just no I'm sorry that's not ever gonna happen and i just#i really thought I'd just find tickets over time closer to the event like that's how I've done several concerts but then i looked and saw#that and I'm like oh my god and that's before fees and then there's the gas to get there the repairs that need to be done to the car to get#there all the other fees involved and in realizing oh my god like I've been overconfident and now i don't see a way and I'm so sad and i#just broke down its i know iy seems stupid but first this feels like something that might not happen again anytime soon if ever the way the#world is going out could be last chance and rep tour was the first time I'd been able to see Taylor to begin with and the experience was SO#amazing it's like the one thing i looked forward to this year that lifted me up in really dark times and again i feel shitty when there's so#many fans who never get to see her international too i just. I'm sorry I'm just like this breaks my heart on levels and like#i hate how money dictates everything i hate that i went to eds last tour tickets in the same venue were 30 DOLLARS and even the Taylor ones#i think were like 75 and now it's so high bc only scalping it's so fucked up and like I'm already in a really bad hole money wise bc of#an emergency issue that happened and I've got some scary medical things going on waiting on tests and having trouble with rent and food and#gas so like i can't even try to be like. you know? like justify trying to save up that much even when i got all this#i just.
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Gotta stop thinking âjust once wonât hurtâ cause it in fact will
#tw for. idk sh and drugs ig#but I distinctly remember the first few times I ever cut#with the thought that I had control Iâd be able to stop#and now I struggle to make it a month clean and have been trying to get clean for years#and I went and started taking shit to be able to âcopeâ with work and life#and realized too late it was taking over in the same way#and despite trying to stop sooner before it gets as bad as the cutting has#itâs still really fucking hard#it still gets to points where all I can think about is when can I next#and then someone will offer me something even stronger and Iâm trying to not let it get bad#I even told them like hey I can see where this is leading me and I donât want that#and the very next day they offer me fucking ketamine anyways and try to convince me like hey itâll help with the mental shit I was dealing w#which you know what in short term yea maybe#but long term it always makes things worse#and I canât keep living my life expecting to die#ghost rambles#anyways Iâm so normal and sorry for over sharing on the internet again#if anyone irl sees this itâs all a joke Iâm totally stable and have never done anything questionable
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I have no idea what I'm going to do for NaNoWriMo this year. I feel very uninspired lately.
I just want to do well in my class and my energy has been low lately (season change on my new medicine, I'm guessing???). I need some energy because it's Shakespeare and I need to keep my grades up to stay in the honors society (no pressure lol).
Much More in the tags as per usual... :P
#also it's grad school so C's are effectively F's which is fun#I got into the honor's society this term but wow I don't know how I managed that (truly)#I switched medications half way through grad school so I feel like a different person wrote that Anne Bronte paper even though it was me!!!#sorry but Shakespeare is not my favorite but he's better than other stuff I've read lately#I'm more of a Romantics/Victorian reader but I like the history aspect of the middle ages and renaissance so I can probs get INTO it#I read A Little Life right before class started and yikes yikes yikes- it's the worst thing I've read in a while :(#I try to read some popular literature as well as the classics#I try to understand why certain books are popular but sometimes it misses me entirely#maybe my taste is really bad but that book could have been better if Jude's suffering wasn't so drawn out (800+ pages...)#it became too much for me tbh#the best book (play) I've read in a while is Richard III#again probably my bad taste but so far Richard III is the top Shakespeare play#I am reading 8 of his plays for my class so we'll see how they all compare- if anyone is interested in that?#King Lear was not as good imo and I have to rewatch/reread Henry V before I can offically give my opinion of that one#my paper is going to be on Richard and Henry so you will probably get shit posts about them and their plays#you're welcome I guess?#maybe I'll post some pictures of the new (used) books I bought off my beloved thriftbooks? It's been a while since I've done that#I feel like I haven't posted any updates in a while so here they are#hope everyone is doing at least okay if not great- it's a weird season#irl updates#grad school#mychatter
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đđđđđđ đđđđđđđđđ ! (Pt 2 here)
pairing: suna, tsukishima, ushijima, osamu, sakusa, and iwaizumi x fem!reader (separate) note: thank you for the request @nicoleisdumb ! this was so fun to write and a nice refreshing break from jjk :3 miss writing abt these boys. summary: You forgot date night ! Oops... now your man is ignoring you?? How are you gonna fix this? content: slight angst to fluff, established relationships (marriage for a few, hehehehehe I will always find a way to sneak babies in), cursing, kinda suggestive for kiyoomi's part. not proofread!!!! wc: 3.3k
â„ đ. đđđđ
Rintaro is not one to usually get upset when you forget things because you're human just as he is and he forgets things all the time. He forgets his keys at home sometimes, or his wallet, sometimes he forgets his birthday, etc. (never his phone, he always has that thing).
There has never been a day that he's forgotten a date or an anniversary to your surprise. Lately, though, work has consumed both you and your boyfriend. He was handling it better though, because when you'd get home you would immediately collapse onto the bed and fall asleep. Rintaro would make sure to change you into something more comfortable and at least clean your face with a warm, wet cloth and your face wash.
Today was no different from any others. As soon as you remove your shoes and lay in the bed, all of your problems don't matter anymore. It was only around 7 pm then.
The morning had arrived in a blur. Finally, you had a day off. This morning is off though, because you don't wake up with a set of pajamas on or Rin's t-shirt. That was your first clue to something being off.
The second clue was the fact that he is not in bed. Rin doesn't get up out of bed unless he absolutely has to. Usually, he's holding you captive in his arms. Before you investigate, you take the initiative to shower and brush your teeth. When you're in a fresh pair of clothes; a tank top and shorts, you slowly make your way into the living room, sleep still in your body.
A brown tuft of hair sticks out from under your mickey mouse blanket and a body way too big for the couch is curled up on it. Why is he sleeping on the couch?
"Rin, baby, why are you on the couch?" Silence. He's awake, you know it because of the sound from his phone that's muffled by the blanket. Is he ignoring you? There's no way... he must not have heard you.
So you speak up in case he didn't hear you the first time, "Morning, Rin!"
Still nothing. He doesn't even move. What is his problem? Your mood instantly deflates into something sour. There was a hope within you that you would finally get to spend time with him today. Be it cuddles or going out.
Since he's not talking to you, you'll just decide to make breakfast in order to pass the time and fill the silence. While breakfast is being made you try to think of things you could have possibly done to upset him.
Then it suddenly clicks... you wanted to go out with him today. He had planned to take you out yesterday. That had to be it, right?
"Rinnie was yesterday date night? I'm sorry for forgetting. I think you had tickets for something? I feel so fucking bad, baby." Sleep had instantly taken you last night that you forgot to set an alarm or something so you could remember date night.
He still didn't say anything, but he did get up from the couch to get some food. His gold eyes were cold and unforgiving.
"Rintaro. I'm really sorry. I guess my body got used to going to sleep right when I got home. I didn't even check to see if we were doing anything yesterday. I'll make it up to you, we can go out tonight?"
He's not mad at you, not anymore at least. Even though he's not mad at you, he kind of wanted to be. It's hard for him to be upset with you for too long.
"Don't fall asleep this time, sleepyhead." That familiar smile that you know so well appears on his face. It causes you to smile just as wide if not wider.
In seconds your arms are wrapped around him in a loving hug. "I won't fall asleep. Promise."
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Kei is mean and petty about it. Date night is usually something simple like Netflix and some homemade snacks or something of the sorts. Mainly because the two of you like to stay in rather than go out.
He texted you asking where you were, only for you to reply that there was some old close friend of yours visiting town, so you decided to hang out with them.
When you got home late into the night, it was a little too quiet for you. Kei is probably asleep or playing on his play station, you assume. So, without even knowing that your boyfriend is upset, you go through your whole nightly routine.
Upon entering your bedroom you see his body lying in bed, his chest rising and falling every second. "I'm home." Leaves your lips in a whisper. There is no response so you assume he's asleep.
Halfway through the night you can't sleep, at all. It's probably because your boyfriend's comforting hands aren't wrapped around you, like usual.
You softly nudge your boyfriend's side trying to ease him awake, "Kei."
After a few more tries he finally startles awake, "what?"
"I can't sleep." You whine, "I need you to hug me."
"Shoulda' thought 'bout that before you went off with your friend instead of having date night." His tone is sour, from both being woken up and from you forgetting date night.
A small gasp leaves your lips, suddenly the conversation you two had a week prior to last night floods your brain. You weren't working that day and neither was Kei, which meant you guys could have your annual movie marathon.
"I'm sorry baby, I completely forgot..." He doesn't say anything to you and you can't tell what he's thinking because his back is facing you.
With a new spring of motivation you hop out of bed to make some of your favorite movie snacks and grab your laptop, before heading back to your bedroom.
"How about a redo?" Kei turns his body to look at you, he eyes the snacks and your computer. How could he stay mad at you?
"Hurry up before I change my mind." A huge cat-like grin adorns your pretty face.
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"Daddy, why red circle?" Your little son Nao asks looking at the calendar on the fridge.
"Mommy and Daddy were supposed to go out tonight, but work called Mommy and asked her to come." Wakatoshi explains to his three year old.
The original plan was for Nao's nanny to come a little early because Wakatoshi finally had time off of work and so did you. When she came to take care of your son you two were going to go to dinner and see this new jazz group.
Wakatoshi had only told his son part of the truth, you did have to suddenly go to work but it wasn't because they called you in, it was because you requested to work late, so you could have more time off in the future.
The only reason he sugar-coded it was, because he would never want to paint you in a bad light.
The both of you have enough to support the household and live a steady life so he has no idea why you decided to go into work tonight. It seems you'd even forgotten that you were supposed to go out on a date with him tonight.
"Mommy not gettin' dinner with you?" He asks for clarity.
"Yeah, that's right." He gives the little guy a pat to the head.
"So it's just you and me. After bath time and dinner we can do something fun like watch a movie."
"We watch Dootopa?" He asks with a beaming smile on his face.
"You wanna watch Zootopia?"
"Yes yes!!!" That is his all time favorite movie. Flash the sloth is his favorite character next to Judy Hopps.
"Okay, well lets hurry up and get bath time and dinner time over with."
When you arrive home, your two favorite boys are fast asleep on the couch. You make the assumption they've been watching movies all night because Toy Story 2 is playing and neither are awake to watch it.
Nao is curled up in his father's lap, while Wakatoshi's hand is supporting him in case he falls.
You pick the sleeping little boy up in order to take him to his bed. Wakatoshi ever the light sleeper awakes when you remove Nao from his lap.
Instead of smiling and kissing you goodnight he turns the TV off and proceeds to walk straight to your shared bedroom without a word.
You quickly place your son down in his bed kissing him goodnight. You know why he's upset with you and there's an eagerness for you to fix it.
"I totally forgot about dinner, honey, I'm sorry." Those words leave your lips as soon as you enter your bedroom.
Your hurry to change into something more comfortable so you can join him in bed.
"Don't be mad 'Toshi." He grunts, his back is turned to you, so who knows what he's thinking.
Luckily for you he tends to not hold grudges.
"I'll get us a reservation at your favorite place," desperation seeps into your voice when he still doesn't answer you, "I really feel dumb for calling into work today, please cut me a break baby-"
"You aren't dumb, by any means, and I'm not mad. I'm confused." That's when you remember that Wakatoshi doesn't usually ignore you when he's upset about something.
The reason he doesn't say anything is usually because he's thinking.
You wait for him to tell you why he's confused and as you do so you sink into bed. At the point he turns over to see your face.
"I'm confused as to why you needed to work late when you already have so many days off."
"Well- I was hoping the three of us could go on vacation this summer, if the team doesn't require you to do your workouts there." His confusion is replaced with awe.
"Just ask them for days off, if they dock your pay it won't matter. We have enough to live comfortably, I promise." It feels good to finally have your man looking into your eyes again. A relieved sigh leaves your lips.
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"Forgettin' something?" Your husband asks right before you walk out the door to go to your best friend's baby shower. He's leaning against the door frame, his huge arms flex when he goes to cross them over his equally large chest.
Is there something you're forgetting? Nothing rings a bell, so you assume he means you're about to forget to kiss him goodbye.
You lean into kiss him and he kisses you back of course, but there's still a pout on his face and he doesn't look satisfied.
"I love you, 'Samu! I gotta get going before I'm late!" So you forgot about it. You forgot that tonight Osamu was supposed to take you to the shop and fix up a nice dinner for you two at your favorite table. He'd serve your favorite wine and you two would talk about the stupidest things into the early hours of the morning. He even closed early for tonight.
I mean, he can't blame you, your best friend of a lifetime is having a baby shower, and of course she wants you there. It would have made him feel a little bit better if you at least remembered it, but you didn't.
Osamu wouldn't be a Miya if he wasn't at least a little bit petty about it. He's decided he'll ignore you until you figure out that you'd forgotten about your date tonight. Maybe if he's not too sour he'll make dinner for you.
The petty man in question has been watching the clock for the past twenty minutes. You were supposed to be home by now, because it's already 8:45 pm. The baby shower started at 6 and ended at 7, so, where are you?
Just as he asks himself that question, the telltale sound of keys on the other end of the door snaps him out of his trance.
"Hey baby, I'm back!" The door swings open and your pretty face greets him.
He doesn't say anything back to you, he just pretends to be busy on his phone.
"Sorry I got back so late, I stayed to help her clean everything up." Your eyes watch your husband carefully, checking for any sign of him being upset, because he doesn't say anything yet again.
"What's wrong, 'Samu?" Nothing. Absolutely nothing. He's definitely mad, now you just need to figure out why.
After a quick change into your slippers and your keys are on the rack you walk up to him, giving him a hug from behind. You rest your chin on his shoulder. He's scrolling through twitter, his personal one not the one for promoting the shop.
"Why are you sulking? You're acting like your brother." Osamu accepts his fate, you know he can't ignore you when you compare him to his brother.
"Do not compare me to that oversized baby." When he hears your beautiful laugh he almost forgets why he was upset, almost.
"Did I not tell ya that ya were forgettin' somethin' before ya left?" The question in his voice makes you think for a second.
"Was it not a kiss?" He shakes his head. Now you're completely lost.
"I was 'posed to take ya down to the shop and we were gonna eat at our table." When he finishes his sentence you gasp in remembrance. Oh shit. You forgot about date night.
"Baby, you can't possibly be telling me I had to choose you or her." He stiffens for a brief moment, then relaxes.
"Nah, I was just hoping ya'd at least remember it." A shudder rolls down his spine when you give him a small kiss on the neck.
"I'm sorry for forgetting, baby. Let's have a do ov-" Osamu doesn't allow you to finish because he scoops you up bridal style and brings you into the kitchen to set you down on the counter.
"Ya better watch me cook or I won't forgive you."
"Aye aye captian!"
"Yer so annoying." He smiles at you.
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"Bye baby! Mama and Dada love you!" Your baby girl waves at you shyly as you and Kiyoomi drop her off with her grandparents.
"I wuv you too! Bye bye Mama, bye bye Dada." Kiyoomi hugs his daughter tightly before setting her down next to her grandma.
"Alright, sweet girl, make sure to be good for nana and poppa okay?" She nods her adorable little head, the tiny ponytails you put in her hair swing rapidly.
As soon as you guys are in the car, a look of excitement flashes in your husband's eyes.
"What?" You can't help smile when he looks at you like that.
"Made us that reservation for brunch like you asked." Your smile immediately drops. You'd forgotten that you and Kiyoomi planned this whole weekend out already. You two had planned this weekend two weeks prior, which is kind of why you forgot and booked a mani-pedi for an hour from now.
"Fuckkkkk." Why do you forget the most important things?
"Kiyo, can we do dinner instead? I forgot about brunch and booked a mani-pedi because today is the only day my nail lady could fit me in."
A tension forms almost immediately when you inform him of your plans. Guilt is heavy on your stomach while listening to your husband cancel brunch over the phone. The rest of the car ride is silent except for the sound that's happening outside of the car.
Your husband is kind enough to drop you off at your nail appointment. You feel so bad as you hop out of the car, so in order to try and smooth things over you offer for him to come inside but he just mumbles a quick, "No thank you, I'll come get you when it's done."
That's how you ended up spilling everything to your nail lady. She shakes her head as she shapes the gel nails into the shape you asked for. "What's his favorite color on you, sweetheart?"
You think for a second before answering, "He loves when I get sage green." The woman gives you a knowing smile and you connect the dots as to what she's referring to.
"You want him to feel better? Take him to dinner and then give him a night to remember with those pretty nails. Works every time with my husband." She says with a mischievous smile.
Your eyes widen for a second, "Oh my- I- we haven't had time to do anything because our little girl requires most of our time, but she's with her grandparents for the weekend."
The nail lady giggles as she goes to find your color. "Honey, if that's not a sign to get laid then I don't know what is!"
When your appointment is over you see the cadillac waiting for you in the parking lot. Kiyoomi doesn't even bother to look up when you enter the car.
"Got your favorite color." You purr with a seductive smile on your face. Kiyoomi doesn't spare you a glance, "Cool."
"Stop being so mean, I'm sorry about brunch. I made a reservation for dinner." That finally baits his attention, he turns to you, a nasty look in his eyes.
"Oh I actually think I'm going to be busy, can't go to dinner." He mocks your voice to make you feel what he had felt earlier. He's being mean, but he doesn't mean it. He still kind of has this habit of getting defensive when he or his pride is hurt.
"Too busy to get a blowjob in the car after dinner?" You know you've got him when he stops breathing for a few seconds. Your husband is only a man, and what kind of man would he be to deny a blowjob from his wife?
"Shit, should have started with that. Let me see your nails." The whole time he inspects your pretty hands there's a smirk on your face.
"I love this color on you baby."
"I know you do Kiyo. Now, let's get home, we have to get ready for dinner tonight."
Having your daughter stay with her grandparents for the weekend was the best decision you guys have made in a while.
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Hajime has been ignoring you for the past two hours and you can't figure out why.
You know you haven't done anything to piss him off recently (or so you think), so his behavior is kind of strange. Nothing you did made him listen to you either.
He doesn't even let you know he's leaving for work, which reminds you of yesterday. You were so excited to go see your cousin's puppy you'd forgotten to tell your boyfriend you'd be out for awhile.
Suddenly while you're tidying up the kitchen you briefly remember him asking you on a date... yesterday.
That's probably why he's ignoring you.
So of course, being the problem solver you are, you head to the store to get stuff to set up a nice date at home.
You decorate the table with pretty rose petals and cook his favorite meal for him. Candles light up the table and two glasses of wine are set on the table.
Hajime lets out a loud groan as he enters the house, working with a bunch of athletes all the time is quite tiring. What he doesn't expect is the dimmed lights and quiet music playing from the alexa in the kitchen.
For the first time today he talks to you, "What's all this?"
"An apology for forgetting our date last night. I set up an at home date for us." He tries and fails to look upset, still.
"I'm glad you remembered," he pauses, "the day after our date." A snort leaves his lips and you roll your eyes.
"At least I remembered. Hurry up and put your stuff up so we can eat. The food is gonna get cold."
It's safe to say he forgives with the way a lopsided grin adorns his face.
©đđđđđđđđđđ All works are written by me! Please do not copy, translate, or upload onto other sites thanks!
divider: @/chachachannah
#đđđđđđđđđđ#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x female reader#suna x reader#tsukishima x reader#ushijima x reader#osamu miya x reader#sakusa x reader#iwaizumi x reader#suna rintarou#tsukishima kei#ushijima wakatoshi#osamu miya#sakusa kiyoomi#hajime iwaizumi#suna rintaro x reader#tsukishima kei x reader#wakatoshi ushijima x reader#miya osamu x reader#sakusa kiyoomi x reader#iwaizumi hajime x reader
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â âđđ â â đđđđđđđđ. your boyfriend doesnât like it when you eat unhealthy food while busy with uni work.
tags. older bf!gojo satoru x female reader. fluff. age gap (reader around early 20âs, satoru early 30âs). behavior may come off as âoverprotectiveâ to some. nicknames âbaby, sweetheart, princessâ. not proofread
satoruâs at work while youâre in his kitchen, preparing a quick meal for yourself. youâve been busy making and finishing assignments all day. you really could do with a break. though, a short one. thereâs still lots more to do before youâre done with everything mandatory.
itâs convenient that satoru allows you to stay over at his apartment whenever you want to. heâs given you a spare key and told you that his home is also yours. if you need a break from your own place, you can always stop by his.
âah, crap,â you hiss as the sauce packet nearly bursts open in your hand due to how roughly you pulled on its edges. you season your instant ramen noodles without much thought. itâs a quick meal that saves you time.
youâve had it four days a row nowâalong with some pizza slices here and there. your boyfriend has been nice enough to send you money, telling you to treat yourself to some decent food while heâs away on business, but youâre really just too busy to treat yourself.
satoruâd be upset if he knew that youâre living off unhealthy crap again. the last time he caught you, he prepared you homemade meals or took you out to restaurants for weeks. he needs you to ingest your daily nutritions so you can stay healthy. youâre too important to him and he wants the best for you.
you grab your chopsticks and mix the sauce with the noodles, your spotify playlist running in the background. you walk to the fridge and grab a soda before sitting down at the kitchen table. unlocking your phone, you decide to see if anythingâs going on on social media.
youâre too focused on your screen and the food entering your mouth to notice the front door opening. you catch a glimpse of a figure in the corner of your eye and your head flies up. a bit too late..
âah, hi, satoru,â you mumble with a mouthful of ramen noodles. youâre caught off guard and you barely know what to do as the white-haired man puts his keys in his pockets. you put your phone down and discreetly try to cover your bowl, âdidnât know youâd come back so early.â
too bad you didnât think of opening a window or throwing away the opened package of instant ramen. satoru looks over at the messy counter before walking towards you. he reaches a hand out to your cheek, brushing your thumb against your skin.
âhi, pretty,â satoru greets you with a gentle smile. he leans down and presses a kiss onto your lips, tongue stealing a taste of the sauce on your mouth. he pulls back and pinches the cheek heâs holding, âmind telling me what youâre eating, hm?â
you pout and swallow the bite of noodles you had in your mouth. you put your hands down, knowing thereâs no hiding anything from your boyfriend. he dislikes the fact that youâre not taking your health seriously. âinstant ramen. . .â you respond defeatedly.
satoru ruffles your hair with a shake of his head, silently disapproving of your actions. âiâve given you money to get a proper meal, didnât i, baby?â the older man explains in the same tender tone. he doesnât have the heart to be mad at you. he crouches down next to the chair youâre sitting on and kisses your knuckles, each getting a peck.
âyeah, âm sorry,â you nod, knowing your lover did his part of taking care of you. he gave you money to spend on food or ingredients, but you still chose the easy way out. itâs not like youâve been craving noodlesâyouâre eating them for the sole reason being that theyâre fast and easy to make. youâre too busy (and lazy) to go out and buy stuff.
satoru chuckles, not really mad at you at all. heâs simply worried for your wellbeing. he sees how hard you work for uni while also making time to spend with him, no matter how little it may be. âitâs okay, itâs okay,â satoru coos and kisses your forehead before getting up.
the sorcerer looks down at the bowl of noodles before glancing back at you. âdo you want to finish it or do you want me to make you something?â he asks whilst playing with the little hairs around your face. youâre beautiful, somehow even more gorgeous with those dark circles under your eyes.
you pout and think about his question. youâre tired of eating the same thing four times in a row and you know how good satoruâs cooking can be, so. . .
âcan you make me something?â you ask carefully in a quiet tone, flashing your boyfriend your best puppy eyes, âpretty please?â
satoru grins and nods immediately. heâs always happy to help you out when you need it. âof course. anything for my princess,â he coos and squeezes your cheeks one last time. heâs got an obsession with the way you scrunch your nose up every time he does so.
he grabs the bowl of noodles and puts it away after making sure you didnât want any more of it. sure, he wants the best for you, but he doesnât want to be too restrictive. in case you still want to steal a bit, satoru puts the bowl in the corner of the counter.
you walk to satoru as he stands near the fridge. you rub your weary eyes and watch as he grabs the needed items to make your favorite comfort meal. he catches you staring at him and he smirks lovingly.
âoh my, i have such an adorable girlfriend,â the older man holds himself back from squeezing your cheeks together again. he holds your wrist and pulls you flush against him, his head leaning down to match your eye level.
satoru plants a quick kiss on your lips. his hand finds it way on your hips before slithering upwards. he pats your back, gently comforting and encouraging you, his other hand doing the same on the back of your head. he knows how hard it is for you these days, with the busy end of the semester and all.
âlove you, âtoru, thank you,â you smile at him and nuzzle your face into his chest. you really needed a distraction from all the hard work you still have to do. a quick break with the person you cherish most will gain you back all the energy youâve lost.
satoru hugs you even tighter to him when you utter those magical words. if he could, heâd take care of you every single second of the day. heâd do anything to make you feel better. he places a peck to your forehead, âi love you too, sweetheart. but promise me one thing; please take better care of yourself, âkay?â
#sttoru writes.#jjk x reader#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#jjk fluff#gojo fluff#satoru x reader
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Part Five
Can't stop thinking about the attempt of reconciliation and reader ain't having it. Our girl is going to be wilddddd y'all. Also goodnight. See y'all tomorrow (maybe)
You call Meredith when you get home.
You. Are. Fuming. She's not sure she can ever remember a time you using so many swear words at one time.
How fucking dare them? Immature? You're the immature one? You were the one trying your best to salvage four failing relationship meanwhile none of those assholes could be bothered to try and keep one. They had one person to manage: you.
"I wanna go out this weekend." "Wear something tight and borderline risk indecent exposure."
"You know what I always say," Meredith begins. "The best way to get over someone-"
"is to get under someone else." You finish. You weren't exactly keen on the idea of bringing someone to your bed just yet, but a little attention would do you some good. "I don't want to fuck someone just yet." You admitted. "I'm more on the getting drunk and making out."
"I didn't know we resorted back secondary school heavy petting?" She teased.
"University, Dear." You corrected. "I didn't peak until after I graduated."
"No." She argued. "You didn't put your books down long enough to realize that boys actually wanted to fuck you." You were glad she couldn't see you roll your eyes. "Saturday work for you? I have a late night Friday and won't be up for it."
"That works."
"Sorry." She apologized. "I plan on getting you absolutely smashed so I need to be ready to play the nanny. I know how you love to get drunk and run off."
It was true. You had always found it hilarious when you were drunk to just run. Quite literally run away. It got to a point during university where Meredith would handcuff you to her so you didn't stray.
"I won't run." Your sober mind promised.
"Uh huh." Meredith's tone told you that she knew that was a load of shit. "I'll text Tabs. Let her know the plan."
The next day at the shop was pretty uneventful. No more unexpected visitors. You still had them all blocked. Not caring if now they decided to offer up some bullshit apology.
Months. This had been a steady decline for six months. A text or a simply sorry won't fix this. You weren't sure anything could.
But it didn't matter. You were done and they obviously were too.
You had picked up enough take out to feed a family, but you didn't plan on making your lunch before work or cooking when you got home. The rest of the week you planned on just going through the motions until you could go out Saturday and hopefully get everything out.
You weren't paying attention as you walked down the hallway to your flat. Fishing in your purse for keys. You were at almost at your door when you saw him.
Sitting next to your door was a familiar face. A face you felt you haven't seen in forever.
âWhat are you doing here, Kyle?" Your voice was flat as you continued to blindly try and find your keys with one hand. Fuck. You really need to clean out your purse...
âMy key wouldnât work.â He explained. "So Iâm out here.â
"I'm aware why you're not in my apartment since I changed the locks," you said, trying to keep your irritation at bay. "What I am asking is why did you come here?"
"You won't return any of our messages."
"You're all blocked, so technically I didn't really get any messages." "Besides, you don't get to complain to me about not responding to texts, Kyle Garrick." Your fingers finally wraps around them. God bless. "If you're here for your things, it'll have to wait. I have to sort through everyone's shit and I don't know whose is whose."
"We need to talk." He explains as you put the key into the lock, opening the door.
"Nah," you say scrunching your nose in that way he used to adore. "I'm good. But you can swing by tomorrow and pick up your things if you'd like." You say before trying to shut the door on him. You were stupid in thinking you could be faster than him.
Dammit.
"I know things haven't been good and I've definitely could have been better,'' he admits. "But can you at least try and let us apologize? Let us try and work it out."
"No." You answered, trying to close the door. Not caring if you had to resort to kicking his shins to get him out.
"Why not?" He countered.
âMaybe because I've already tried, Kyle?â You gave up on trying to shut him out. You were strong, but he didn't have any issues in besting you. âBecause I actually tried with you. With all of you. You didnât need to come here giving me excuses about your life being hectic because Iâve made the excuses for you.â You didn't miss how he practically flinched. He had always blamed his busy life. Family. Work. You stopped caring about whatever excuse he gave you and realized it was just that. An excuse. âIâve been telling myself for months that everything you guys didnât do for me wasnât because you didnât care about me. It was because of the stress of your deployments is the reason none of you tell me when you get back from until itâs time to fuck. I tell myself itâs because of the fucked up situation of me being with all of you that makes it awkward to meet your families. Families you all have that I now know Iâm not worthy of meeting.â He wanted to correct you. You were. You were worthy. He was an idiot. âItâs not that I need your excuses to make me feel like what you did was justified. No matter what it was, it was apparently to you because you did it.â
He took a step back, processing everything you had said. He had been selfish. You were the reliable constant in his life. Someone he believed he never disappointed. Someone he couldn't disappoint no matter how many times he fucked up.
You took the opportunity to slam the door. Quickly turning the lock before he had a chance to open it back up.
God...
That felt good.
You had spent that evening collecting their thing in case Kyle did show back up tomorrow. You wouldn't make their lives easier by sorting all their shit and organizing it. Everything. One box. Let them figure it out. You almost had a mind to add a shirt that you knew didn't belong to any of them just to have them argue over it. Or least make them think there was someone else...
You were almost tempted if not for the premise that you wanted them to realize this was their fault. Their fuck up. But now that you were officially all broken up, you were free game.
#captain john price#kyle gaz garrick#simon ghost riley#call of duty#john soap mactavish#angst with a happy ending#angst#grovel#jealousy
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