#and sometimes (a lot of times) people manage to completely miss it even if it was the whole point

[mourn-and-watch]

the wildest thing about the state of reading comprehension these days is reading some meta on your dash and thinking yeah that's good. op is totally right. but like. why does it need to be said. isn't that already painfully obvious. but then you find out that op was actually debunking the most popular character misconception that is basically accepted by the fandom and is used for all kinds of memes headcanons and fanart as (sometimes the only one) valid canon characterisation and yeah. it doesn't only need to be said loud and clear but also speaker is recommended as well as writing all of that in bold font on the biggest most visible banner possible

[carcarrot]

i love my job that's like if you asked someone to design a place specifically meant to frustrate, torture and overstimulate an anxious person

[notanactressyayy]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭. | natasha romanoff

. ݁₊ 𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦 . Natasha and you were the only 'constant' in each other's lives. poor you, to think you could get over her so easily.

. ݁₊ 𝑤𝑎𝑟��𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 . smut! i am not responsible for your content consumption! — making out, g!p Natasha, guided masturbation, orgasm denial, unprotected sex (p in v), choking, swearing, homesickness, fluff, reconciliation.

. ݁₊ 𝑛𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑠 . english isn't my first language (🇧🇷) so i apologize for any spelling errors. been in love w Nat for a damn long time — i've been away for a while, but turns out i can't really live without her. i miss my red so much :(

Natasha Romanoff rarely had the chance to see the same face twice. She saw a lot of people throughout her life — as a spy, as a superhero, or simply as Natasha. The thing is: it was unlike she would return to a place she’s been before. It wasn’t uncommon for her to be on the run. Thus, she traveled around the whole world, and saw thousands, millions of different faces. Destiny made sure not to let her cross paths with the same individual again. It wasn’t only the diversity of people that she witnessed, though. This woman saw the world. She knew life’s ups and downs, and at some point in her life, she just got used to the idea that it would forever be like this: boring. Boring experiences, boring women, boring men, boring relationships. Nothing was ever exciting, thrilling. It felt like she was advanced in time, and the rest of the world wasn’t following her. This wasn’t a complete lie, she got her maturity at a very young age, which made her pay the price now, in adulthood. 

For a spy, the most important thing is to learn not to be caught off guard. But it seemed like life was never on Natasha’s side. And this time — it felt good. Oh, it felt so good. 

At first, she didn’t want to get high hopes. It would be just another temporary friendship to help her pass time, nothing more. However, you managed to surprise the red haired Avenger in the best way possible. When she decided to spare a little time of her life and get to know you more, it was really mind-blowing the side of herself she discovered. She never thought she could actually be.. giddy. Like a silly, hopeless romantic girl. That is what she became whenever it was time to see you. She got excited. Actually excited. She couldn’t see through you, read your emotions or body language, like she did with other people; It was a natural thing, sometimes she didn’t even mean to do that. But you, something within you, kept her at bay. Like you effortlessly turned Natasha into a normal woman. Somebody who could love. Somebody that wasn’t raised and enhanced to be a killer. Not that you went through anything like she did, but you weren’t naive. You showed her that people didn’t necessarily have to be traumatized to be aware of things, of reality, of the surroundings. And for her, you’re the most beautiful person in the whole world. Inside and out. She adored you. 

Opening up was never easy. Revealing the broken parts of herself wasn’t like having a simple chat. But patience is a virtue and thankfully, you followed that say just fine. Little by little, the secrets came out. Most of the parts you already knew — it’s not like she wasn’t a worldwide known superhero. What you mostly had to acknowledge were her feelings, the point of view of the little girl who was experiencing it all, and becoming a strong woman, with built up walls around her heart. Doing that was no problem. Natasha couldn’t be more thankful. 

She couldn’t be more infatuated. More in love.

She’d always remember that one day: in the bar with her team, and you — chattery, music, tons of drinks and laughter. Stolen glances. Stomach butterflies, wild. The moment Clint pulled Laura a little closer to himself, and Tony kissed Pepper’s cheek. How she used that as an excuse to pull you into her lap. Your breath getting labored. Eyelashes gently fluttering, to the point she could count them. Your gentle yet tight grip on her shoulders. Your goddamn eyes staring right into hers. And the part where everything would change: her own bodily reactions to all those little details about you. When you restlessly shifted on her lap, quietly gasping when something poked you through your dress. Eyes going wide at the bulge showing on her black jeans. 

From that point on, you belonged to her.

Or so, she thought.

The sex was great, but she was in conflict — she couldn't tell if the only reason for it to be that enjoyable was because you were both tipsy, almost drunk, or if it was really meant to be that way. It felt right, yes, to have you in her arms like this — naked, piles of discarded clothes laying by her bed.. the sound of your quiet snoring as you cuddled into her. It was also a relief to her. To have someone care for her, desire her, after so long, after forever. The night had been amazing. She was a mature woman anyway, wasn't she? She could sort her feelings out without messing up everything.

Wrong. By the morning, everything would change.

You stared at her as she got up and got dressed again, eyes still a little blurry from sleep, eyebrows ceasing into a small confused frown. "You're not staying?" you'd ask, sitting up and leaning against the headboard, bringing up the sheets to cover your unclothed body. "Ugh, my head hurts like hell,"

"Got things to do." she simply answered, cradling the side of your face and kissing your forehead. You could swear the look on her face was.. apologetic. She tilted her head towards the nightstand, where some aspirin and water waited for you. "Take these. I'll text you later."

"Okay.." you mumble, disoriented. As she leaves, you reach out, shoving the aspirin in your mouth and downing the pills with water. Was there something you were missing? Because all you could remember was how good her hands felt on you, the way they wrapped around you neck while she—

You shook your head, lying down again, and closing her eyes. All the fun and pleasure you had been given from the previous night was slowly vanishing and being replaced by a feeling of uncertainty and confusion. Natasha was an enigmatic person, okay, but you thought you knew her better. She had no reason to leave you just like that, especially when she had already vented about all her past experiences, flaws and failures. Nah, it was probably nothing, you were overthinking. Perhaps she indeed had something important to take care of. You closed your eyes as fatigue took over, and slept for a little bit more.

Natasha went back to her apartment — one of her apartments, and for the whole day, her thoughts ran like crazy. Her emotions were all over the place. She had just fucked her best friend, the one person she felt comfortable and at ease with. She considered her feelings carefully; this.. dinamic, between you two, had not been platonic for a considerable amount of time. But not being platonic doens't necessarily means being romantic. It could either be love, or lust. What happened the day before was carnal, once the two of you were way too much in a drunken haze to actually feel anything.

And, like always, Natasha didn't want to think about falling in love. She felt scared just by thinking about this. It was a new territory, one she wasn't willing to deep dive in. So she took her phone and deeply sighed, opening her chat with you.

"Yesterday was fun. But I need some time. I don't think this can work. Hope you're doing okay. xx"

That text just completely shattered you.

You had no idea what you did wrong. It was not like Natasha was pushing you away forever — but while being with her, the only thought running through your mind was: I wanna be with her. I wanna explore this with her. And Natasha didn't give a single sign that she thought the opposite. You felt... disappointed. With yourself and her. For hoping.

Yeah, getting involved with an ex kgb Avenger killer spy probably wasn't the best idea.

You wouldn't simply forget everything you shared together, so the easiest way here not to create a big tension was.. being fake. The two of you weren't stupid, you were aware of the unspoken feelings going on. But what happened that night should not happen again. So your friendship was what prevailed. A friendship like the start. But obviously, with a few changes. Natasha and you didn't lose touch — on the contrary, you were closer than ever. You spoke and flirted (a lot), but with one small rule, a rule that you subconsciously added to this.. situationship. No feelings involved. It would be singularly that. Friends, some casual hookups, and nothing else.

It didn't last, because that's not what you both wished, longed for.

Little by little, this turned boring again. Not that you were the boring one and she just didn't realize this before. Far from that. The thing was: Natasha and you were supressing your feelings, consequently, supressing all the thrill, the delicious tension that hanged in the air whenever she, once again, crossed paths with you. The russian wanted nothing more than just grab you and kiss you hard, pour all the emotions that she kept bottled up throughout her life into the kiss. But unfortunately, she couldn't. She had a duty to fullfil, as someone born, destined to save the world.

And with all of this, you and her settled a distance. You with your previous and trivial life, and her, saving little girls from bad guys, and bringing down cats from tall trees. It was truly shocking: one day, you lived for Natasha Romanoff. She was your everything and everything you'd ever want. In a blink of an eye, it ended. You followed your paths, like two completely different people, with different purposes.

Right person, wrong time.

Fool her, to think she could get over you that easily. Poor you, to try and put that inside of your head as well.

Sometimes, when normally doing daily tasks, you would catch yourself thinking about her — when you were going to watch TV and put your legs on the coffee table, instead of simply sitting. It was an habit of hers. Or when eating something with peanut butter. It was her favourite late night snack. When it rained. She liked to watch the rain. With somebody else's hands on you. It wasn't right. It was never right to have somebody else touch you. You were constantly thinking about your life before things with her changed — the memories brought comfort, a sense of nostalgia.. at some point, you weren't living in the present anymore. Just faking. Faking your feelings. Pretending it was okay to let her go.

This woman ruined you for everything and everyone else.

Natasha could relate to that. In a life that could be resumed in one word: a 'whirlwind' of a life, and you were her only 'constant' among all of this... she couldn't bear this anymore.

So she made an important decision.

The decision was today.

Today: she'd take you out again, praying that, if not reconciliation, she wanted at least to say everything she had to say. Because if life taught her one thing, was to make choices that she wouldn't regret in the future. And it was damn right she would regret choosing not to meet you tonight.

Sitting in the stool of the bar, in a more secluded corned, her eyes followed your figure as you approached — purse hanging on your shoulder, dress exposing your back and a little bit of your waist, eyes so awfully soft and gentle as you looked at her. It wasn't fair. A pang of guilt hit her hard. Oh, she regretted letting that go. She wanted you to be mad at her. But you were not. She shakily rises to her feet to kiss your cheek as you stand in front of her, thankfully not stumbling. Your eyes lock again, already in a trance. Just like that other day.

"How are you doing?" you ask. Natasha could cry. She missed that voice everyday. "Did I take too long? I'm sorry."

"No, no. Don't worry." she swallows hard. You both sit on the stools by the countertop. When the bartender comes, the redhead dismisses him. She wanted the two of you sober for this. "I'm... so much better now that you're here, honestly. How about you?"

"Amazing." you chuckle, tilting your head to the side and watching her. She didn't change a bit. Hair braided, black jeans, leather jacket. That was your Natasha. "I didn't expect you calling me here, to be honest..—"

"Me neither." she admits, in a whisper. Her tongue darts out to moisten her lips, eyes involuntarily starting at your mouth. She sighs and looks into your eyes. "But I had to... I can't get you off my mind."

Her sincerity never fails to amaze you. With each second that passes, the butterflies in your tummy return, to remind you of the past — feelings and sensations resurfacing. You bite on your bottom lip and look around the bar, quickly scanning to see if there was anybody paying attention to the two of you. Maybe a few eyes here and there, which didn't linger. Everyone else was too busy minding their own business — and it's not like you'd care if someone was staring anyway. Natasha turned some heads. You felt greedy for that. You were the one having her. The only one having her.

"You live in my head rent free, Natasha." you tell her, voice having a sultry edge to it. You slowly stand, walking closer.

You take her hands and open her arms — making it possible for you to straddle her thigh. She tenses almost immediately. Her head tilts up to stare into your eyes, arms circling your waist to keep you close, where she wanted. You shake your head when you see a small frown between her eyebrows — lips pressing against that small spot, coaxing a little exhale of hers. She missed you. Everyday. Every minute. She wanted that respect and care all the time.

"What are we even doing here?" she whispers, so quietly you almost can't hear it. Her hands cup your waist and gently roam up and down your sides, palms brushing against your bare skin every now and then, all thanks to the waist slits of your dress. Your face leans closer to hers, noses bumping — the smallest of touches, making you both crave what you once had. "Why didn't I just invite you to my place right away?"

"I don't know. Why didn't you?" you raise one eyebrow, fingertips caressing her jawline. Her hands give your waist a squeeze — and you almost moan. She swore she could hear it. It replayed in her head, the beautiful sounds you made for her. She wanted to hear them again. She was going to make you sound like that again.

It wasn't just a physical thing — your body and mind craved her touch, her presence, so much that just the mere thought of being on her bed again got you soaked. She felt something wet through the rough fabric of her jeans, and that got her brain spinning. She fell for you hard. So painfully hard.

"Let's get out of here," she groans, hands firmly grabbing your thighs and lifting you up — wrapping your legs around her waist and carrying you out the pavement. Her hardness pressed right against your core — you blushed, hiding your face on her shoulder, wrapping your arms around her neck.

In a heartbeat, you were back at your house.

Your place, because it was the fastest way, when taking the cab. No words were exchanged, not yet. The aching, burning need had to be taken care of first — before properly talking. Your back hits the wall hard as Natasha pushes you against it — her body trapping you between herself and the hard surface — hands hardly, possessively holding you by the hips. Desperately, even. Making sure you wouldn't slip away from her grasp. Her lips dance with yours, tentatively, yet naturally, tongues tasting one another after what felt like centuries. She felt so good, tasted so good.

"Nat..—" you moan against her lips, having her bottom lip trapped between your teeth, then releasing it. Your forehead against hers, eyes soft and filled with desire. Your hands hold her cheeks, traveling to her jaw. Needily, you press kisses to the side of her throat, breathing shaky, heart hardly thrumming. "I never stopped thinking about you..."

"Yeah?" she hums, grabbing the hem of your dress and lifting it up, bunching the fabric by your hips. Her fingers hook around the elastic of your panties and pull them down, pooling around your feet — making you gasp, and pull away from her neck. Eyes wide open. The air hits your heat, making you needier for her.

You almost mewl.

"God, I need you." Natasha utters. She grabs you again and smashes her lips against yours once more, now with so much more passion, more need, more anxiety. Her bulge presses against your now unclothed wetness, coaxing a tiny cry of need out of you. You breathlessly pull away from her, reaching down and fumbling with the buttons of her jeans — until she stops you.

"No—"

"Quiet." she shushes, maneuvering you back, until your body hits the mattress. She climbs onto the bed and stays in a kneeling position, hungrily taking you in. Messy, needy, all for her. Sober, like she wanted planned from the first time. "That dress goes off."

Her voice is commanding, yet not harsh — and her eyes betray her a little. Her eyes are almost pleading, that it is clear how much she needs this. To have you all to herself, to show you how much she wants that. Her underwear becomes even more tight as she sees your trembling fingers, pulling the dress over your head and tossing it aside, lips parted. Just by her look, you can tell she wants the bra off, too. So you reach behind your back and grants her silent wish, breasts now exposed to her sight.

"There you are..." she moans to herself, shamelessly taking in the sight of you. You're a work of art. With her hand, she coaxes your knees open, and parts your legs. "My... you're so wet. So perfectly wet."

"You're still with a lot on.." you quietly complain, feeling hot and shy at the same time. But her gaze is enough to wipe away the confusion from your eyes. She had a plan.

"Touch yourself for me." she breathes out.

Your eyes briefly widen with the unexpectedness of this statement. You had certainly done this before — touched yourself thinking of her — but the idea of showing this, while she watched, never crossed your mind. But it wasn't an unpleasant idea. It was actually... hot. Sensual. They darken, pupils blown wide as you make yourself comfortable against the pillows, eyelids fluttering as your legs spread a little more, palm resting on your stomach, then moving down. Deliberately, it reaches your sex, a shakily sigh leaving your lips when your middle and ring finger collect some of the slick coat covering your sensitiveness, using it to slowly rub your clitoris, getting you to gasp louder.

"Natasha..." you whisper, eyes falling close, thoughts wandering.

Wandering back to the start — when you first discovered your feelings for her, then the climax, when you both got in bed due the alcohol — then the aftermath, when you needed her so much, felt so alone at night, that your fingers were the only solution. Little wet sounds echo within the room as you rub circles on yourself, applying just the right amount of pressure, that it doesn't take long for the pit in your stomach to manifest itself.

"Faster." Natasha rasps out, taking her jacket and quickly throwing it away. She pulls her tank top over her head, then undo the buttons of her jeans — leaving the bed, just so she can get rid of all the uncomfortable fabric, and climbing it again. She crawls closer to you — eyeing you as you worked on your pussy, her hands caressing your thighs, adding to the stimulation.

"Please...!" you whimper, doing as you're told — rubbing yourself faster — slipping one of your fingers inside your entrance, almost cumming, that quickly. "Please, I need you..!"

"I need you too," she moans to herself, and harshly grabs your wrist, pulling your hand away. You moan loudly in protest — Natasha wouldn't tease you. Not today, when you both needed each other so much. She discards her undergarments, finally — groaning as she's set free. Your eyes lock on her hard length, which was practically hitting her abs now.

"Put it inside me." you beg, grabbing her shoulders to pull her closer. She hovers over you, bracing herself on her forearms, on each side of your body. Your fingernails gently graze her back. Natasha was feeling so much, so much more than she ever felt. Your eyes were sparkling so much, like you were crying — shimmering with the depth of your adoration for her. You grab her cheeks and press your lips to hers, in a gentle peck. Knowing her past, she didn't have to explain her reasons for what had happened. She was scared before, and you respected. "Go on. Love me."

She couldn't wait no longer. She lowers her forehead to your shoulder and places her hands on your hips — her chest against yours, as she lined herself with your hole, effortlessly pushing inside. Stretching you out, like she once did. Having the chance to hear that delicious sounds again.

"You're mine... shit," she groans, rolling into you gently, getting you used to the feeling first. You're so tight, so perfect around her. Natasha's overwhelmed. Her hands press against the base of your throat, squeezing firmly, yet leaving enough room for air. She's so hot. "That pussy is mine. You're mine. You're all mine—"

"Yes," you moan, wrapping your legs around her middle. You wouldn't take long to come tonight. Maybe she'd make you come over and over. She rocks into you, pace not too slow, not too fast. Just right. The right tempo to bring you both the pleasure and connection you so much needed. "Mhm.. fuck, Nat, missed your cock,"

"You're gonna take it over and over—" she comments — kissing your shoulder, roaming her hands up your body, her right palm cupping your breast and giving it a firm squeeze. Your head lolls back, mouth opening to allow a satisfied moan out. "I'm never fucking letting you go again,"

She accelerates, pulling almost all the way out just to slam back into you again — feeling her climax approach. She moves her mouth close to your ear and moans — her own sounds now mixing with yours.

"Natasha...! Fuck, you feel soo good," you gasp, a wave of pleasure washing over you as you get closer. She takes the hint immediately, cupping the back of your knee and pushing it up, allowing her a better angle. "Ah, gimme more,"

"My greedy girl," she groans, her head tilting back. Her cock twitches inside of you — precum already painting you white. She glanced down at where your folds swallowed her, eyes darkening impossibly more. "You're so goddamn tight... 'm not gonna last, moya krasivaya malysha,"

"Okay.. 'ts okay... Cum with me..." you beg her, tangling your fingers into her red strands of hair, pulling her down more, so her forehead rests against yours — the eye contact increasing the intimacy of the moment. She didn't know what to expect now. Didn't know what to think. Only that she had to fill you up.

"C'mon.. nhg, darling.. c'mon.. cum around me," she encourages, feeling her own legs shake as her orgasm washed over her.

She grabbed your hips hard and slammed into you — once, twice, three times, filling you up with her hot release. You squeezed your eyes shut as your body shuddered forwards, breasts pressing against her own as a long, strangled moan flowed out of you, nails digging into her back, pressing her body against yours as you finished. Your walls clenched around her cock, swallowing her more, not allowing her to pull away just that. "God.. I love you!"

Natasha blinks, not sure if she heard right. Her heart squeezes in her chest, arms wrapping around your body. Her back hits the bed and she flips you on top of her, still inside of you — but now, her member softened. The adrenaline was running wild, but you had calmed down a little bit. Just a little. Because this time, it wasn't pure sex. It was lovemaking.

Your face is buried in her chest as she brings up the covers, creating a cocoon of warmth around you. She buries her face into your hair and inhales deeply, staying silent. Just to process things.

"I love you, too. So so much." she murmurs into you hair. She felt terrified to say this. But once you're someone who she already showed her scars to, it's not that bad anymore.

"You do?" you ask expectantly, feeling tired, drowsy. Natasha smiles at that. She feels her eyes burning with heavy emotion. She nods.

"Yes... I love you so much." she confirms, softly stroking her hair, brushing some strands away from your sweaty forehead. "And I want you to be mine. Will you be mine?"

"You're asking me to be your girlfriend after the sex?" you chuckle quietly, but happiness was evident in your voice. Now you could sleep at peace. The first night of rest you'd have in a long time. In the arms of the woman you cherished, worshipped.

Natasha had won now. She was so fucking relieved. All because of a phrase.

"Of course I will, you idiot."

"I'm never, ever, ever letting you go again." the room is messy, smell of sex lingering around you. But now things were sorted out. By the morning, you could have a more direct, serious conversation. For now, you'd rest together, wrapped up in each other's arms, like it was always meant to be.

[magicalbats]

Kinktober 2024 Day 6: Lighter x Reader

Rating: R-18+

Word Count: 6664

Warnings: Afab!reader, friends with benefits, casual sex, body worship, mirror sex, blowjob, deep throating, brief cunnilingus, piv

A/N: This guy is so cool, I really hope this doesn't end up being too ooc since he was only just introduced and we still don't know a whole lot about him. 🫣

⭐

Nights out in the desert lean towards chilly but with a raging bonfire going you almost don’t even notice it. Not until you step away from the hotly licking flames anyway, and then you find yourself burrowing deeper into your coat for insulation from the wind. If the need to find some trouble to get into hadn’t been brewing like a storm in the back of your mind you would have been perfectly content to stay right where you were for the rest of the evening until it came time for bed, but that persistent tug has you scanning through the gathered crowd for an all too familiar face. 

You spot Lucy and Caesar easily enough, though as usual they were a little hard to miss when they couldn’t seem to get along for more than five minutes at a time. Sometimes you wondered how they managed to work together at all given the obvious tensions between them but it wasn’t really your place to pry. The Sons of Calydon were good to the people who made Blazewood their home and you liked them better than some of the other biker gangs at least. Eccentricities aside, they were just fine in your book. 

Neither of them were the one you sought though, so you keep making your way around the perimeter of the crowded area. It wasn’t often that everyone gathered for a celebration like this but the Sons, true to nature, tended to liven up the place whenever they came through. One of the many services you probably owed them thanks for. 

And then you finally spot him, just when you were starting to wonder if he’d turned in for an early night. Slouched in a banged up lawn chair someone had dug out from who only knows where with a stout glass full of something dark braced on the bend of his knee. Cool and casual. Yep, that was Lighter down to the letter. 

Stuffing your hands into the pockets of your jacket, you shuffle over to come up alongside where he’s sat in a loosely formed circle with a handful of other men, no doubt shooting the shit with each other which you thoroughly interrupt with your appearance. That he’d retreated to this reclusive side of the field where the girls were less likely to impede on his very important masculine brooding with like minded individuals does not escape your notice but too bad for him. 

You were not someone Lighter could easily ignore just as you had a hard time ignoring him whenever he happened to be around, and you allow yourself a small smile when he tips his head back to look up at you through the tinted lenses of his sunglasses. Still wearing them even now, when it was completely dark out and he probably couldn’t make out much of anything through them as a result. What a dork. 

“Hey.”

“Hey yourself.” He volleys right back, not missing a beat as he bobs his chin at you in relaxed greeting. “Good to see you. I was wondering if you’d stop by to pay me a visit tonight.” 

“Putting aside the fact that I always come see you, don’t you think it might be nice if you were the one who came to me sometimes? I’ve been standing over by the fire for a while now.”

A vaguely mischievous smile pulls at his mouth. “What, you want me to start following you around like a lovesick pup now? I seem to recall you giving me completely different instructions before.” 

“All I’m saying is some initiative might win you a few favors in the long run.” You shoot back, pinning Lighter with a playfully rueful look while you try very hard not to laugh. 

“Well, a man could always use more favors. What sort of initiative were you hoping for?” 

“Please, why would I tell you and ruin the fun of watching you try to figure it out on your own? And besides, it wouldn’t count for much if I just gave you all the answers.” 

This back and forth game with him already has you feeling eager and excited while you stand there, idly rocking on your toes in anticipation of his next move. But then he noises a brief sound of rumbling consideration before reaching out to suddenly snag your forearm with a hand gloved in leather. 

It happens much too quick for you to pull away or react beyond the giggling squeak you let out when he yanks you down across his lap. The two of you had known each other for a very long time now and these sorts of physical exchanges were common enough that no one really questioned it any more, though you’re still keenly aware of the other men that are gathered around politely turning their attention elsewhere. Breaking off into their own smaller groups, starting up their own snippets of conversation. It’s like they didn’t even see the two of you sitting there anymore, which comes as a relief while you work to get settled into place atop his legs, using a hand curved over his broad shoulder for stability. 

You and Lighter weren’t actually together, nor were you an item in any sense of the word, but you also weren’t just friends either. Everyone knew that so there wasn’t much point in hiding it. A lot of good it would have done you anyway when the communities scattered across the Outer Ring were so small and tight knit that keeping secrets often felt like an impossibility. 

So you look down into his face head on, openly grinning now as he minutely shifts underneath you to get comfortable again. He’s so firm and sturdy that it takes a great deal of self control on your part not to start kissing him right then and there. The two of you might not try all that hard to hide whatever was going on here but you still had some polite sensibilities left to your name. 

“Alright, sugar,” He intones, juggling his drink over to the opposite hand so he can casually set his arm across your lap while the other loosely curls around your hip. Just to make sure you don’t accidentally fall off, you’re sure. “I’m listening. Tell me what it is you want.”

“I’d think that should be obvious by now.” 

“You’re insatiable.”

“Only when it comes to you.” Lightly teasing a finger over one of the metal spikes on his biker jacket, you give him a pointed little smile. “Maybe if I saw you more often than every few weeks I’d get bored of it but you know how to keep a girl coming back for more, don’t you? Never give her enough to get complacent, just enough to become addicted.” 

“Hey now. That makes me sound like some kind of scheming playboy. I’m sure you know I’d give it to you every day if I could.” 

Your pussy distantly clenches at the thought, and you sit up a little straighter to subtly press down on his thigh. It was so unfair how easily he could drive you wild. Sometimes you didn’t think the playboy label was all that inaccurate, but then he’d say or do something so goofy that it completely shattered that impression of him in your mind. Despite how it looked he wasn’t actually some disloyal womanizer incapable of commitment, just someone with a lot of baggage and a long past. That’s all. 

But really, who couldn’t say the same in the Outer Ring? 

“That’s sweet but you shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep, Lighter.” 

“It’s not for a lack of wanting, trust me.” He assures you, giving the meat of your hip a brief squeeze. “The Sons have just been busy lately. You know that. But once we win the Tour de Inferno - -“ 

“You’ll have better routes and less busy work. I’ve heard it before.” Sighing softly, you lift your hand from his shoulder to reach up and cradle a mostly smooth cheek in your palm. You could just feel the faintest hint of stubble starting to grow back after his morning shave much earlier in the day but the scratch of it registers as pleasant rather than disagreeable. “It doesn’t really matter in the end I guess. No strings attached, that was what we agreed on. I just worry about you sometimes. Even if it’s not for me, at least try to swing by more often so I can feed you. I’ll even make extra for the girls.” 

“I’m sure they’ll like that.” He murmurs, peering at you now over the top of his shades with an unwavering, plainly heated look that makes a shudder work down your spine. 

You stare into his face for another moment longer until the magnetic pull of his mouth becomes too much for you to resist, and you lean down to claim those sinfully inviting lips for yourself. Lighter readily returns the favor with a steady push and pull that only coaxes you further into your vibrating need for him, unable to reject it even if you’d wanted to. 

And you most certainly don’t want to. 

Realizing that you really can’t wait any longer to have him, you pull back just enough to speak against his mouth. “Take me home, Lighter. I want to be alone with you.” 

“If that’s what you want.” He husks, his tone dropped to a secretive but no less simmering drawl now. “Your wish is but my command, princess.”  

Bracing to stand, you ready to hop up from his lap but he manages to catch you off guard when he locks his arm around your middle and carefully eases himself out of the chair so he can rise to his feet with a rumbling groan for effect. You weren’t exactly a delicate waif but he’d picked you up far too many times for you to be surprised by his strength, and your pulse just quickens in excitement while you dangle a foot or so off the ground from his hold. 

Pausing there, Lighter lifts his glass to his mouth and tips his head back to down the whole thing in a quick gulp. You watch him do it with attentive fascination, admiring the defined line of his jaw and the thick bob of his Adam’s apple, but then he’s gently sliding you down to stand on your own and you take a reluctant step back from him. Everyone who’d come out for the bonfire didn’t need to see him carrying you off into the night like a caveman so you couldn’t argue the logic in letting you walk by yourself. But that doesn’t stop you from missing the warmth of his body pressed up against you, or the heady scent of him drowning out your sense of smell. 

Soon enough that would be rectified though, and together the two of you start to make your way back towards the gas station in companionable silence. 

It’s a quiet walk save the drone of conversation and the occasional shouts behind you, but those noises gradually fade the further you get from the gathering. Most of the locals had gone out into the nearby barren field to join the Sons of Calydon in celebrating their return trip from the transport they’d just completed, so the tiny outpost is perfectly still and peaceful when you reach it. 

Even calling it a town would have been quite the stretch when the outcrop of buildings and trailers, and decrepit mobile homes that spring up around the gas station in the center of it had only come into being out of necessity. Blazewood was at best an encampment of refugees but there were a lot of places like that left behind after the Hollow Disaster so it doesn’t look half as depressing as it probably actually is. It’s the only thing you’d ever really known with any familiarity though, and to you it’s home. 

Lighter was too much a roving nomad to have anything similar, save perhaps his band of fellow bikers, but there’s a small part of you that hopes he thinks of your tiny little motel as a kind of home too. He’d certainly been here more than enough times to be intimately familiar with the place and you by extension. 

Treading the exact same steps the two of you had walked many times before, you make your way into the back of what was at one time a supplies building. Your father had worked tirelessly to repurpose it into a place for lodgings, so that the traveling biker gangs would have somewhere to rest at night during their long hauls, and you’d naturally inherited the place from him when you were old enough. Although it had put a bit of a damper on any aspirations you’d once harbored about joining one of the gangs yourself, you’re admittedly glad for it now since it gave you some place to safely retreat to with Lighter at the end of the day. 

You certainly weren’t going to take him to your own room and fuck him on your own bed. That was one of the rules you’d established at the start of all this, more than just a few years ago now. At first it had been solely for practical reasons. Didn’t want him getting the wrong idea or, even worse, give yourself a chance to be fooled into thinking that this was somehow more meaningful than it actually was. He didn’t need to have access to your personal space like that. 

But by now it had become something of a safe neutral zone where both of you could simply let go of whatever roles and responsibilities, obligations and preconceptions you carried with you. Everyone had baggage in the Outer Rings, and neither you or Lighter were any different in that regard. 

But the good news was that both of your tastes aligned in the most delightful of ways, and as you step into your favorite room your eyes come up to look into the reflective surface of the floor length mirror hung on the wall. Between the bed and the claustrophobicbly small toilet closet there wasn’t much else in the tight space to look at. One of the bikers from the previous generation had gifted it to your father after finding it by chance in an old and abandoned warehouse. Evidently it was the only mirror that had still been in one piece after sitting forgotten for so long, and he’d carefully hauled it all the way back to Blazewood in his trailer. 

You suspected your father had at one time toyed with the notion of using this place as a brothel of sorts to make a little extra money on the side, but after you were born shortly thereafter it seemed he no longer had the heart to follow through on it. That was fine though, because this room and its mirror had still seen more than its fair share of action thanks to you and Lighter. 

The door clicks shut behind you with a sense of finality as you tread across the rough carpet and you eagerly turn to him, just in time for his hands to come up and cradle your cheeks. Firmly tilting your face up at him, he bends down to kiss you again but this time it’s not nearly as polite as it was when you’d had an audience watching. 

His mouth is hungry against yours now, matching your own need to feel him against you, on top of you, inside of you. Groaning softly, you rock forward onto the tips of your toes to better accommodate the height difference and reach up to thread your fingers through his shaggy hair. It’s soft but dry against your skin from all the wind and sand grit that naturally came with riding a motorcycle in the desert, yet you still relish the feel of it against you.

Giving it a slow tug, you tip your head to deepen the exchange and allow his tongue entry to your mouth when it prods at your lips. All at once the taste of him overwhelms your olfactory system in a potent rush made all the more intoxicating by the strong notes of whiskey you can clearly pick up on your tastebuds. You noise a quiet sound of ratcheting pleasure against his mouth while his hands descend upon your body to take greedy, squeezing grabs at whatever part of you he can reach. 

Lighter quickly loses patience for all the clothes standing between the two of you though, and he’s soon tugging at your coat to get it unzipped and tossed aside. You do the same with his leather jacket, fumbling to get it shoved back over his shoulders which he accommodates by helpfully stretching his arms down to let it fall to the floor. Then he’s right back to groping at you through your jeans, giving your ass a tight pinch before redirecting them around to your hips so he can steer you backwards. 

Still kissing his mouth with wild abandon, you let him guide you back to stand almost directly in front of the mirror where you finally manage to pry yourself from him only enough to get his t-shirt pulled up over his head. It leaves him standing there naked from the waist up, his already unruly hair more mussed than it was before, and you quickly bend your head close to flick your tongue over a pert nipple. 

Sighing a low rumble of appreciation, Lighter lifts one of his hands to briefly cradle the back of your head while the other reaches down to tug his belt loose. You know what’s coming and you just purr into his skin as you kiss over the planes of his chest to feel the faint tickle of sparse hair against your lips. Giving his bare sides an encouraging squeeze when the sound of his buckle rattling makes your cunt tighten in anticipation, you latch onto the opposite bud to offer it a taunting love bite. 

But by that time he’s got his thick jeans undone and the hand in your hair closes into a fist, using his hold on you to pull you up with a faltering sound of delight. The tug on your scalp is just sharp enough to make you really want it, stumbling a single, uncertain step before he forces you down onto your knees. You’re so hot with want and fast pumping adrenaline that you don’t even think to fight it as he directs your face to the front of his pants where he somewhat meanly grinds the stiff bulge inside across your mouth. 

Whining a needy little sound in the back of your throat, you quickly reach up to pull his pants down so you can shove your face into his underwear full on. You immediately take a deep, savory inhale to taste the distinct smell of him on the back of your tongue, feeling your slit leak sticky gossamer into your panties while you do it. Gods, he smelled heavenly. 

“Damn,” He issues a barely there groan in response, nudging his hips forward to press his cock tighter against your nose while he distractedly lifts his hands up to pull his gloves off one by one. “You’re gonna’ be the death of me at this rate, sugar. Maybe it’s for the best I can’t come see you more often. I don’t think there’d be anything left of me.” 

That brings a smile to your face as you roll your eyes upward to pin him with a sly look. He probably wasn’t wrong about that. It hadn’t taken you long to realize that most men struggled to keep pace with you but for his part Lighter certainly made the effort whenever he could. You’d likely have him completely drained within a week. 

It’s clear the powerful champion of Calydon isn’t intimidated though, and he gives his sunglasses a quick adjustment where they’d started to inch down — insisting they stay on even now, the goof — before shuffling back half a step. 

You almost catch yourself mewling a quiet sound of disappointment but then he’s bending low to hook his fingers in the hem of your top and pull it up. An impressively well practiced motion of his hand soon has your bra falling loose around your shoulders before it quickly joins everything else on the floor in a rumpled heap of all your discarded clothes. 

An intense tremble works through your body at the sensation of your bare tits cutting through the air, already stiff and seeking attention. Still bending at the waist, Lighter takes a moment to briefly cup your breasts in his calloused palms and lift them, encouraging you to arch your back to better present your chest. He hunches even closer then and gives each nipple a savory kiss to tease the sensitive flesh, eliciting another groan of pleasure from you when he moves to straighten up again. 

One of his hands is immediately back in your hair and he roughly pulls you in against him as he closes the distance, rubbing your face against his cock once again. Unable to go another moment without him in your mouth, you dig your fingers into his dark boxer briefs so you can yank them down to pool in his jeans where they were still tucked into his boots. 

The hard length of him promptly springs up into the scant space between you and just brushes the kiss swollen pucker of your mouth to leave behind a faintly sticky trail. Bracing one hand on a powerfully lean thigh, you use the other to take hold of him in a tight grip and give it a few perfunctory tugs to ease the foreskin back. You can clearly see the flushed glans glinting in the overhead light with a sheen of sticky arousal which you coquettishly lick up to get your first taste of him for the evening. 

Groaning quietly in appreciation, Lighter settles into a wide legged stances with his feet braced far apart while the hand on your head firmly guides you forward to take him in. And you do so with great enthusiasm, sliding your mouth down to about the halfway point of his shaft where the head of him starts to tickle at your throat. 

From the corner of your eye you can just make out what’s happening in the reflection of the mirror, the tall tell bob of your head while you work him over with your tongue to build up more saliva and the very noticeable way your tits shift with the motion. It makes you feel ten times hotter, squirming there on the floor at his feet while you watch yourself suck him off. As far as visuals go it was incredibly satisfying to observe in real time, which was exactly why both of you loved this room so much. You’d had to use a different one on a few occasions, when he’d shown up unexpectedly and this room was already occupied by someone else, but it was never the same. Nothing quite compared to the front row seat you had here, getting to watch him fuck you and go down on you, to see yourself spread out on his thick cock and pushed straight to the limit of your physical abilities. 

They made video recording devices in the city, or so you’d heard, and you had half a mind to try it out sometime with him just to get a different perspective. But such technology didn’t last long all the way out here when the ether corruption was so high that most anything that wasn’t analogue didn’t survive for even a whole month. The mirror had served you well up until now though, and you savoringly pull back as you turn your head to watch the shuddering string of spittle stretch between his stiff cock and your mouth before breaking apart. 

Looking into your own reflection, you’re struck by how very needy you look in that moment with eyes blown wide under the heavy droop of your lashes and flushed, kiss swollen lips coated in a sheen of saliva. Lighter knows you a little too well though, and he rumbles a masculine sound when he shifts the position of his hand to better grip your hair so he can turn your face up and around to make you look at him instead. 

“Getting distracted there, sugar?”

Feeling punchdrunk on something stronger than any drink you’d had at the bonfire, you blithely nod your head in agreement. He hadn’t really needed to ask and the way he pins you with a barely there smirk assures you he’d already known the answer. But that was how the two of you played this game no matter how overly familiar you got with each other's bodies, and yet it never seemed to truly get old. 

Neither does the way he expertly uses the fistful of hair he’s got in his hold to force your mouth back down, rudely shoving his cock past lips and teeth, and a squirming tongue so he can prod at the back of your throat. The glide of satiny flesh is smooth and nearly seamless when he sedately thrusts his hips back and forth, back and then forth again, thanks in no small part to the excess of spit forming along your palate. And you just keep drooling all the more excessively the longer he does it, coaxing your salivary glands to work overtime for him until you can feel it bubbling out to dribble down your chin.

Only then does Lighter at last shove himself forward in tortuous slow motion to slide down your gullet one sinful inch at a time. You feel the customary jump in your pulse at suddenly finding your airway blocked and the alarm of pressure pushing in on your throat but force yourself to relax into it. The eventual tickle of coarse pubic hair brushing your nose lets you know when you’ve taken it all and you gurgle a wet sound of pleasure around his length when he makes a point of grinding your face down, holding you there for a prolonged beat. 

Then he’s pulling you back, using your hair to smoothly guide your neck where he wants it to go and dislodge himself from your throat in the process. A fresh wave of copious, sticky spit comes out with him, leaving you kneeling there gasping for air as thick wads of saliva roll down your face. You blearily glance up through the reflexive moisture in your eyes while he gives you a moment to catch your breath only to suck in a rattling gasp when you see how very wrecked you look in the mirror. But he’s not quite through with your mouth just yet, and he repeats the process a handful of times more until you’re dizzily swaying at his feet from the head rush. 

You’re so delirious with it, in fact, that by the time he bends down to get on your level again you almost don’t even notice how close he suddenly is. Not until Lighter takes your wet face between his hands and angles your attention up at him. Reeling and hungry to have his mouth on yours, you eagerly rock forward to catch his lips, but he keeps you firmly in place while he presumably looks over your expression. 

It was sometimes hard to tell through those damned sunglasses. 

“Still doing good, princess?” 

“Y - yeeah …” You groan, forcing your neck to work on an unsteady bob. 

“Good.” Swooping in too quick for you to react, he presses a hard, firm kiss to your temple and then pulls away so he can carefully unwind his fingers from your hair. 

Even this late in the game you still know what he’s about to do because the two of you have done this about a hundred different times now. Same song, different dance — and yet that doesn’t stop the little squeak of excitement you give when he grabs under your arms to lift you up off the floor. Without his jacket in the way you can see all the tension running through his muscles, scarred skin bulging under the strain of your weight, but he doesn’t even falter. He’s as steady as solid iron, and just as strong too. 

Smoothly turning on his heel, Lighter tosses you onto the bed where you bounce once, twice, then his hands are on your hips to yank you back closer to the edge. Panting and breathless, you glance up at him while he stands between your legs, heavy hands working to get your jeans unfastened. His shades have slid forward on the bridge of his nose at some point in all that messing around, and he now sends you a steely look from over the top of them. 

“What did I say?” He murmurs, the fond note in his voice doing little to soften the masculine rumble behind the words. “Insatiable.” 

“Not my fault.” You purr back, grinning. “Maybe you should try being less amazing in the sheets.” 

Sending you a rueful look, Lighter grabs the top of your open pants and yanks them down your legs, knocking your shoes off in process with a dull thump on the floor. Your panties are quick to go next and, momentarily left to your own devices while he kicks off his own boots and jeans, you roll over onto your stomach so you can jut your ass up in the air. Giving it a playful, taunting wiggle, you glance back at him over your shoulder with a sly smile. 

Alright, so he wasn’t wrong. You were insatiable, but could anyone really blame you? 

Cooly watching the display from under his tousled hair, he shoots you a quick look of warning while he leans down to get his underwear pulled off. The weighty bob of his cock between his legs makes you pussy clench and you bite down on your lip as you invitingly arch your back for him. 

“Careful, sugar. You’re looking for trouble tonight.” 

“Mmm, then why don’t you come punish me?” 

He scoffs a hushed laugh at the taunt, casually stepping into the space between your dangling feet again. Both of his hands come down on your ass at the same time, the deafening crack doing more to startle a sound of surprise out of you than the starburst of pain that comes with it, but it’s quickly followed by an appreciative groan when he squeezes the cheeks pinchingly tight and spreads them open. 

You feel him lean close then and you screw your eyes shut, seething a sensitive whine through your teeth when he runs his tongue from one end of your slit straight down to the other, getting a good taste of your arousal along the way. He takes a moment to just leisurely eat you out from the back like he had all night to wind you up tighter and tighter, the firm nudge of him against your clit making your thighs judder. It doesn’t last long enough to send you over the edge though, just encouraging you a little closer to the edge of oblivion before he straightens up behind you again. 

Stretching, Lighter reaches around you then to snag one of the pillows from the headboard which he tosses down next to your head before moving to sit next to you. At his hushed coaxing, you stiffly sit up and let him pull you over into his lap where you eagerly lean into him for a kiss, soft tits pushing into the firm planes of his chest. 

He indulges you only briefly though, letting you get a good taste of yourself on his tongue before pulling back enough to speak. “Turn around for me, princess. Gonna’ make you watch while I split that little cunt in half. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” 

Just hearing him talk like that makes every single nerve ending in your body tense up to the point of real discomfort and you shudder fiercely even as you work to get spun around, tossing your leg over his hip so you can get settled across Lighter’s stomach. But even knowing good and well how strong he is wasn’t quite enough to fully ease your concerns about sitting on top of him. It makes you carefully hold yourself so you don’t put too much of your weight on him but he’s quick to smooth his palms down your sides to take bruising hold of your hips, forcing you to sit all the way and keeping you locked right where you are. 

While he gets situated behind you, laying back on the pillow he’d grabbed, you steal a harried glance at yourself in the mirror. Somehow this part always manages to surprise you, how soft and voluptuous you look against all the hard muscle and masculine angles of his body. Tits heavy and full, your pussy shamelessly spread open for him and the rigid length of him spearing up in the air between your legs. The visual alone is enough to nearly send you into free fall, and the knowledge that he was about to stuff that thick cock inside your body … you felt like you were going to cum before he even put it in you. 

“Nnghn, Lighter … fuck!” 

He softly shushes you, jostling you slightly as he at last tightens his fingers on your hips to lift your pelvis and guide your cunt into position over him. The shift forces you to go up on your toes, hands splayed out behind you across his flexing abdominals to steady your balance. 

And you can’t seem to tear your eyes away from the reflection now when he uses his braced feet on the floor to push up, sending his cock skirting along your sticky slit. You suck in a wet, faltering breath, arching your back to better angle your pussy down. He tries again, slipping and sliding through soaked fleshy lips, and the glans successfully catches at your entrance on the second attempt. 

You almost breathe a shuddering sigh of relief but then he’s pushing into you, good on his word of making you watch him split you in half. The gummy stretch of your body gradually taking him in one fraction of an inch at a time makes you feel faint from how hard your arousal spikes but you deliriously force yourself to keep watching. It’s fascinating, in a way, how his length slowly disappears inside you and demands your tight inner sleeve make room for him until he’s finally sheathed in you straight down to the base. 

Sitting there on top of him like that, cunt stuffed full and blissfully aching, you let out a low, mewling groan of satisfaction as your head starts to loll back as if in a doped out stupor. That little bit of reprieve in which he allows you to adjust is short lived though, and Lighter issues a rumbling groan of his own when he starts to move. 

The immediate heavy bounce of his ballsack excites you almost as much as the heavy jiggle of your tits does, and you cry out at the blindingly sharp bursts of ecstasy that shoot through your system each time he takes an upward jab up into your guts. You can see everything clearly in the mirror from your own pleasure stricken expression and the sweat coating your body down to the vigorous flex of muscle along his thighs. It doesn’t take long for it to start feeling overwhelming in this position though, your cunt completely defenseless and at his mercy like this, and your legs soon begin to tremble when the internal pressure steadily climbs. But the meaty slap of his pelvis driving against your ass and the accompanying wet clicks of your pussy sucking him in deep almost overwhelms any other sounds, and you nearly miss the hushed grunt of his voice when he speaks over your own desperate bleating. 

“Goddamn, you’re taking me so well, sugar … nnghnohh, yeeaah. You like that dick in your little pussy, huh? Already getting so tight for me … aghh, gonna’ cum all over this cock, aren’t you? Gonna be a good girl for me?” 

“Y - yes! I’m - I’m gonna’ — ahhghnn!”

Unable to take the relentless pounding anymore, you gingerly try to lift your lower body from the total onslaught but he just squeezes your hips hard enough to bruise, holding you firmly in place. There’s no escape from him or his cock, and you shudderingly squirm on top of him as your cresting pleasure just continues to climb higher and higher. It was like he was specifically made to fit you, each little ridge and veiny bump along his shaft perfectly stoking the blaze inside your body until it felt like you were going to combust. 

Still, it wasn’t quite enough to tip you over the edge though, and you precariously hang there in the balance, sobbing in pleasure, until he at last slides one of his hands inward to direct the blocky fingers towards your slit. You can see his intention clearly in the mirror's reflection but with your own hands braced behind you there’s nothing you can do to stop it from happening. Gently at first, then more vigorously, Lighter rubs over your clit with a steady motion that quickly has you teetering over into the awaiting abyss below. 

And for a split second you get to watch yourself cum, get to see the way your whole body seizes up and uncontrollably shakes, how your expression twists in deeply felt relief, before it becomes too much to bear. Your eyes screw shut as you wildly jerk through your orgasm, wailing up at the ceiling while he just continues to pet you and fuck his cock into your pulsing cunt to drag it out. 

You briefly think you might actually die there like that, stretched out on him with your heart jackhammering such a violent rhythm it seems a small wonder you don’t kick the bucket, but at last you finally start to come down from it one fragmented piece of you at a time. It’s a process to refit the pieces back together again but when you finally manage to stir from your semi comatose state, you find Lighter still slowly thrusting into your fluttering cunt to milk every lost drop out of your release. 

At the deeply ruffled, frazzled sound you let out, he seems to realize you’re starting to recover and he seamlessly flips you over onto your stomach with a well practiced twist. Stretching out over top of you to pin your heaving body down, he finds your numb hands with his own so he can direct them high up on the bed and leave you prone underneath him. 

“Well, princess,” He murmurs right into your ear to make you whine a muffled groan into the sheets. “It looks to me like you might’ve finally bitten off a bit more than you can chew. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look so tame. Still want more?” 

You quickly nod your head, trying in vain to arch your ass up into him, but it was impossible when his sturdy weight was settled on top of you like that and all you end up doing is restlessly squirming under him. It doesn’t matter though and it doesn’t stop you from trying. That was perhaps the best orgasm you’d ever had and you were still hungry for more. Voracious, even. 

“Yes, yes, yes — please, Lighter, please. Give me more.”

Softly clicking his tongue, he presses his mouth against the side of your head in another hard, toe curling kiss before pulling back enough to rumble a tender, “Insatiable brat.” 

And you really can’t argue against it.

⭐

Crossposted: here

[hamsternella]

maybe a sfw alphabet🤭 stanford!!

Stanford Pines SFW Alphabet

A= Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Stanford is an eloquent man who always knows what to say on many subjects, as long as that doesn't mean he has to be clear about his feelings. And it's not because he doesn't feel it honestly; much less that he doesn't love you as intensely as you love him. It's just hard. It's that simple.

Ford would choose to show his affection for you with actions. Words are not going to be lacking, but showing you how he feels rather than saying it is much easier. So outside of shyness, this man is full of affection and tenderness; and always ready to let you know it. There isn't a day where you don't find his gaze full of love, with a smile painted on his face and his fingers trembling with the need to caress your cheek.

B= Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start)

Here is something to consider regarding three primary moments.

Arriving in Gravity Falls, Ford turns out to be an educated and interesting man. He is young, with a bright future and lots of fresh ideas. You meet him during a walk in the woods; it could also be outside a store, where you make conversation and help him carry his groceries. Be that as it may, you and Ford promise to meet again, and inevitably become very good friends. He enjoys a company to surprise with his discoveries, feeding his ego as a scientist and first-time researcher; and you find a place of comfort among books and secrets that fill your head with fantasies and stories. He is a trustworthy man, with a kind heart and good intentions. He is an extremely pleasant person.

During the construction and management of the portal Ford becomes paranoid and insufferable. He begins to become selfish, and even borders on narcissistic as his head fills with voices that lead him down strange and disturbing paths; his dreams destroyed as he seems to coexist with those who don't belong in his world. Needless to say, at this point your friendship with him fragments. Ford does not seem to trust you, and his words as well as his treatment of you are given with violence and bad taste.

Today, returning after so many years, Ford is a man weighed down by the miseries he had to suffer as payment for his past ambition. You find in his eyes the ghost of regret; and although it is difficult to completely forget the pain and mistreatment, it does not cost you much to reconcile to recover the bond that had been suspended in time. That Ford you missed, with his sweet eyes and sensitive heart, has returned. Your best friend.

C= Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Ford loves to give hugs, although it's not something he recognizes as such. He does it almost unconsciously. Sometimes you are sitting on the couch or in his study, in peace, other times even outside soaking up the sun and watching the kids play; and you will find his arm hanging off the back, wrapping around your shoulders so he can find a space to rest or to feel closer to you. It is trust and affection that lead this man to feel at home with those people who are special to him. You are already family!

D= Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

The idea of settling down fits Ford like a glove. At first it's complicated, because all his attention and commitment goes to science. But if he can find someone who can fit into his lifestyle, the option certainly begins to feel possible.

Now... let's see. First you have to keep in mind that this guy has been lost in other dimensions for years. All he knows about recipes are abominations impossible to find in the human world. It's as simple as that. Despite this, Ford is quick to learn; so a recipe book, and some help, can get this guy to master the skill and make friends in the kitchen.

As for the rest, Ford is not a dirty man but a messy one. He understands himself, just the same. It's as if the mess works in patterns and guides him to everything he needs… that, or he just forgets and doesn't say anything so as not to embarrass himself. Whatever it is, someone help this man.

E= Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

It's hard for him, but he does it quickly and without spinning. Ford likes to get it over with as quickly as possible so he doesn't have to keep seeing your face. It's like taking a stab in his heart—the need to take you in his arms becomes dangerous.

F= Fiance (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

The idea of marriage doesn't enter his head until he meets someone with whom he feels he is entirely compatible. Other than that, Ford is a man who is not afraid of commitment in any form.

G= Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Extremely gentle. Ford is a tender man, with feelings that hurt against his chest because of the intensity with which he allows himself to be affected by those he cherishes. Physically he can be clumsy, but he is gentle nonetheless.

H= Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it and what is it like?)

He likes them without a doubt. He doesn't ask for it much, though; but he accepts them without a problem. He always does it with a smile. He thinks the gesture is nice.

I= I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It takes him quite a while to say it without a problem. It's not that he doesn't feel it, it's that he just has a hard time with it. Chances are you'll end up saying it first, and eventually Ford will have the confidence to take the initiative and take you by surprise. As he does so his eyes twinkle, and the corners of his lips twitch with the birth of a shy smile.

J= Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they get jealous?)

Ford is not a particularly jealous man. If he does feel that way, he is likely to frown and look annoyed or uncomfortable. He would be embarrassed to admit that such an attitude was the result of a jealous rage.

K= Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His kisses are slow and sensual. Ford loves to kiss you on the lips, forehead and neck.

For his part, he likes to receive kisses on the lips, on the back of his hands —which he considers a sweet gesture and appreciates greatly— and on the cheek.

L= Little ones (How are they around children?)

Ford tends to be a fun and sweet man around children. He's responsible, and you can easily tell he enjoys taking care of them. He tires quickly, though.

M= Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Despite having a lot of projects on his plate, not sleeping and, sometimes, not eating properly, Ford has an uncanny knack for waking up early. He does it with sleepy eyes; but always with a goofy smile if he happens to find you, the kids or Stan around the cabin. Always the tousled hair, the slow walk and the slightly hunched back—but that's okay! A good breakfast, a moment in the fresh air and this guy is ready to start the day! He does it quietly, though.

N= Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Although there is always something to research or do, Ford prefers to take a moment to enjoy a role-playing campaign, a movie or a walk with you if the evening is perfect to allow it. Sometimes the time is perfect to lie in bed, with a couple of hot drinks or sweet snacks, and some books. It doesn't matter what; but Ford has to spend the nights with you if you're there. There is no way to miss a moment that is special to him.

Hopefully you get to spend some family time with the others, too!

O= Open (When will they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or do they reveal little things slowly?)

Many of his secrets, or special details, are things Ford has told you long ago. After his return from the portal, it will be difficult for him to continue to share many others with you—but it's not impossible.

If you meet Ford after his return from the portal for the first time in your entire life, it's going to cost him three times as much. It is assumed that in this case you are new and that leads to distrust, fear of rejection and ridicule.

P= Patience (How easily are they angered?)

Not so easily. Ford is patient.

Q= Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every detail or forget the minor things?)

Does he remember your favorite flavor? But of course. Does he remember that day, on that date, back then, more than ten years ago...? But please, of course he does. This is Ford we're talking about; this guy does role-playing campaigns, runs his own library on alien languages, and has even gone so far as to learn the colors you don't like about the candy you two eat on movie nights. He always sets them aside for you to eat in peace. He always remembers.

R= Remember (What is their favorite moment of your relationship?)

To have met you. To run into you was to have given him the opportunity to have an amazing person like you in his life. That day surpasses any other discovery—coming to Gravity Falls, and seeing you with his own eyes. You are now a part of his life; every day is an ideal moment. In the bad, and in the good.

S= Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? how would they like to be protected?)

Ford keeps an eye on you whenever you accompany him on his quests deep in the forest. He is more than ready to fight to keep you out of danger, using his weapons or even his hands if necessary. Taking care of others is a priority.

But speaking of himself, Ford wouldn't know exactly how he would like to be protected. Maybe have his life saved if he finds himself cornered; but it would be difficult considering his experience. It's difficult if he has someone on the side to look out for, of course. If that person is also experienced, then he would like to fight side by side. It would be fun.

T= Try (How much effort do they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

A lot of effort, although it is quite clumsy and in the end requires the help of someone else to put his ideas in order. If it's about his feelings it's hard not to lose his head in the process.

U= Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Despite being a sweet person, Ford can become quite inconsiderate when there is something he wants/desires very much, and in turn there is someone in the way to reach that goal. From hurtful or uncomfortable words, to acts that go so far as to make you feel abandoned. It's as if there's a button in his head; something that transforms him into a silent, dark and detached man from the real world.

Also, Ford can end up being very overprotective; and even have narcissistic attitudes for which it is better to walk away for a moment so as not to start a fight. It's not always.

V= Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Not too much. The most you've seen him struggle is with his beard. Ford prefers to incinerate it for an instant tidy look... and not so safe, though.

W= Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

In the beginning, yes, definitely. It would take Ford years to get over your loss, and there would even come a point where he would have to accept living with that pain if he can't fill the void, or understand that you're not coming back.

If he were to overcome it, there would be times when homesickness would hit him hard; but he could go on with life as usual. Ford has suffered enough losses already—one more shouldn't stop him in his tracks.

X= Xtra (A random headcanon for them)

Ford can sleep anywhere, and in almost any position. It's a skill he's acquired over time. Sometimes it takes you by surprise to arrive at the cabin at night, and find him fast asleep in corners that make you feel as if you're going to wake up with an intense pain in your neck. It is enviable, especially at his age.

Y= Yuck (What are some things they wouldn't like, either in general or in a partner?)

Violent, delusional, crazy and demonic people. Especially if they happen to be creatures from some other dimension with anger issues.

Z= Zzz (What are some sleeping habits of theirs?)

If you put your shoulder near him, chances are Ford will eventually drop his head on it. Sometimes he even goes so far as to intertwine his fingers with yours.

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Yandere Hitman // Accident

Imagine you wake up tied to a chair ducktape over your mouth and the weight of gravity weighing on your chest. Finally gaining your bearings you realize you are haphazardly hanging from a rickety-looking bridge above a raging river by a man in a black compression shirt a bored look on his face and a phone to his ear. You don’t try to struggle only watching wide-eyed as you hope this Hitman doesn’t drop you 

“Really…the wrong one? Fine, I’ll figure it out.”

Breathing is so much easier when he pulls you from the edge with one hand by the way. He doesn’t untie you sighing exasperatedly while running a hand through his hair. Finally, he takes the ducktape off your mouth waving off your barrage of questions. 

“Look things happened and I was supposed to kill someone who looks a lot like you but not.”

“So you're a hitman and you made a mistake?”

“Yup.”

“Are you going to kill me for knowing you then?”

“I don’t have to.”

“Then can I go home?”

“Er no.”

“Because I’m going to talk?”

“No more like you wouldn’t be able to get into the country anyway.”

Turns out the hitman who happened to target you was incredibly too thorough and ended up burning your ID, crafting up a reasonable missing persons case for you, and making it hard for you to do anything in the country that you can’t properly even find on a map. So to combat the absolute mess of having to go through all the legalese and interrogation you’d go through to get back to your life he comes up with his solution.

“How about you just stay with me? I’ve got more than enough room.”

And he does. It's a place that’s like a small castle, he reasons it’s best that you just help clean the place and maybe make a meal or two. You accept not that you had any other choice at this point so he’ll untie you and take you there. Wherever this backwater country is he’s got a home filled with villagers who are happy to care for it. And in a language you don’t recognize they celebrate it when he brings you home, cheering and excitedly holding your hands. He can’t help but laugh at you while you try to figure things out.

“Hey! What was she saying before?”

“You really shouldn’t just blindly nod to what people are saying. That’s what gets you in trouble.”

“What else am I supposed to do?! She was smiling so wide it must’ve been something nice, right?”

“Hahaha, you're hopelessly adorable.”

When this Hitman is not sitting around laughing at you or mistranslating your requests, he’s not so bad. As the only one who understands what you’re saying and can actually respond to you in a rewarding way. Dismissing that he ruined your everyday life, he’s decent company usually smirking to himself while he makes fun of whatever you're doing. 

“That hat is way too big for you and so are your clothes. It’s kinda cute.”

“It’s not cute! For whatever reason nobody will give me anything other than your clothes it’s really inconvenient.”

“How do you know they're mine?”

“Because they smell like–”

“Awwww are you smelling me in your free time (Y/n)?”

“NO! Wait it’s just an observation—”

“Ewww so perverted (Y/n)~”

When he’s not around to mess with you, he’s off to work. Wearing those same tight-fitted pants he did when you first woke up. It’s…a little sad sometimes. He is the only one you can easily communicate with but you manage to enjoy the thousands of books he has in his home, hang out with the kittens of the farm, and slowly but surely get a grasp on the language all the villagers speak. Maybe one day you can surprise him by being able to call him out the next time he tries to humiliate you to the villagers. It certainly keeps you occupied from thinking about going home anytime soon.

“That’s another body in the ground. Where’s my money?”

The hitman once again casually dismembers another target for his client, taking a quick picture before hurrying to the store. You did say you were a fan of a certain gaming system, he’s got more than enough to spend now that he’s completed another job. Not that he really needed to that amount he had could very well pay for the entire lives of generations to come. That is if he hasn’t budgeted for a luxurious life with you.

“Mmm, which one should I get? Hmm?”

“Oh, are you interested in some of our AAA titles?”

“Not for me but for my partner….I’m just worried they’ll leave me and our kids out while playing.”

“Well if you like we have some lighthearted multiplayer games.”

“That’s perfect!”

He does plan as though you already have kids. He doesn’t need to know if you two will conceive with him or adopt but it doesn’t matter it’s happening. Because to him, you two are already bound to be happily married—all according to his plan. He’s just glad it’s going off so far without a hitch.

“Hi I’m back!”

“Welcome welcome hope everything went well for you chief!”

“How are their studies coming?”

“Decent but they’ll never fully be able to grasp the codes, just as you planned.”

“Perfect. (Y/n) they’re saying you should be the one to massage me this time.”

“What?! There is no way they said that.”

Your hitman’s greatest power is his nonchalant attitude. It’s what allows you to accept that it was his carelessness that led to you being targeted in the first place. It’s what have you not looking twice when ‘the villager’ demands you both feed each other. It might take a while before you fully become the you–he envisioned in his plans but he can wait.

After all your hitman’s waited this long. He doesn’t mind waiting a little more.

“Don’t think too much and let’s just let fate that I’ve chosen decide.”

[writella]

The Confession

Synopsis: Confessions shared with the wrong person gone so sinfully right.

Details: rick grimes x reader, afab!reader, smut—masturbation, unprotected sex, riding, both rick and reader being desperate in the dark. I made the exact reason for the confession and occasion very vague. 18+, wc: 2.6k. Proof read, but there might be some errors.

A/N: Not sure how much I like this one, but I had this idea back in early October and I wanted to finish it and give you guys something after a whole month.

I miss you, I’m sorry. Hope you’re all well!! With love from writella. ♡

Your voice is solemn and heavy as you sigh before starting, “I don’t do this very often,” you say, “I hope this is okay.” Your eyes lowering shamefully as you stop. It’s only the first sentence and you’re finding it hard to continue. It’s almost as if there are needles piercing into your throat. “I just feel so embarrassed,” you admit.

Then you pause.

No response from him comes after.

Only silence fills the dark and hallow space of the wooden confession box. Only your thoughts, every creak you made on the built-in bench, and the light wind that rustled from the cracked door were heard.

You wait a second longer.

Hoping.

But still, nothing.

Part of you was suspecting that Gabriel would have been more inviting, telling you it’s okay; and doing so with his kind and gentle voice, but he wasn’t. He wasn’t doing anything it seemed. You only saw the silhouette of his face when you walked inside— the outline of a nose and mouth, really. He seemed to be sitting as far from the small barred window as he could, but you didn’t dare look again. You didn’t even turn on the light fixture in the corner. Your fear was all too big, and his unwavering quietness made it worse.

Maybe you had come at the wrong time, maybe you interrupted him. You almost wanted to ask. But maybe confessions happened in complete silence… you didn’t know anymore, but at this point, you were hoping so. You had already wasted five minutes and managed only one sentence. Perhaps he heard the fear in your voice and was just trying to be a good listener… yes, maybe, you pretend as you urged yourself to start again:

You breathe in sharply, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.” The words come out in an uneasy, hushed whisper. “It happens a lot and I know it’s wrong. And you’re probably going to look at me differently after this, but I have to tell someone so I can stop.”

Your eyes screw shut, the next phrase coming out jumbled and continuous as you try to explain yourself quickly: “I’ve journaled about it and told myself it’s wrong but it’s not helping.” You start to weep, almost laughing at yourself, “I feel so stupid.”

You sigh and you almost think you hear him do so too, but you keep going.

“I’ve been thinking about someone,” you finally say. “For a long time. And I know it’s bad, I know it, but I do it anyway. It's all I think about.”

Another pause.

You catch your breath.

You wait.

But nothing.

So, you start again.

“I think I love him sometimes.” And if you couldn’t get any more timid, your cheeks flush, and your voice grows quieter, “I like his hair, and his eyes, those button-downs he always wears…” you smile at yourself, these were silly things, “Even his beard.”

And then you hear him shuffle, and a light sound is emitted.

It startles you, but silence ensues again thereafter. Maybe you imagined it.

“I like his kindness too. People would usually say strong or giving, but that’s what I like to tell him— that he’s kind. I think he’s kinder than other people give him credit for. He’s just protective. Everyone, and especially himself, we put a lot of pressure on him to make the hard decisions, but, really…” and there it is, “that's not the only way I think about him. There are things–” your throat tightens again– “ things that I think about. And things that I do.” Your eyes screw tight as you force yourself to say it, “I touch myself.”

Another bout of silence comes before the question.

One you’d never suspect.

“Can you describe it?” The voice asks, dark and curious.

The cool spring air of the night turns cold, but it adds no relief to the summer heat that burns in your heart as it begins to beat painfully. The texture in his voice, the inflection at the end that lined the sentence as a request, it rings through one ear and out the other and back again in a cycle.

You knew who it was.

“What?” You shriek so lightly as if playing dumb would help you now. He knew who you were talking about, you made it so desperately obvious.

“Can you,” he repeats steadily, “describe it?”

“I… shouldn’t.”

“What other better time could there be?” You can’t tell if he truly means it. His voice remains firm and lets out no hints of his true intentions, but despite doubt, you start anyway. He’s right after all, you’re in here because there hasn’t been a better time.

“I- I start by touching up my thighs, trailing up slowly… I always get so nervous… I never do it fast because I know I shouldn’t do it while thinking about you- about him,” you correct yourself, squeezing your thighs together, your hands gripping the bench tightly.

“But you do it anyway.”

“I do,” you reply meekly.

“You can’t help yourself, can you?”

“I can't.”

“What happens when you finally reach all the way up?”

“Gotta touch myself.”

He puts his hands on his knees, making sure his voice stays leveled. “Where do you start?”

“Rubbing my clit.”

“Do it.”

And then you do. You truly can’t help it. Your fingers slide down your hips to the front of your heat, chilly fingers pressing up against your lips over your underwear.

He hears the little sigh as you finally allow your finger to reach your clit in between.

“How does it feel?”

“My fingers are cold right now, so,” a quick breathy laugh leaves you, “ good, really good.” You rub your fingers in slow circles, but your hand and hips jerk, forcing you to speed up, but you try, try to not seem so pathetic to yourself as if there was any attempt at going back now.

His voice’s a slight strain as he asks, “And what do you think about?” He starts to rub his thighs, feeling his cock stir to the side of his jeans, making the material feel tighter than it truly was. His fingers trail closer, knuckles brushing against his erection. He’s pretending like he can stop himself too. “What does he do in your head, sweetheart?”

“He watches,” you say as your movements speed up again. You really can’t help it now, his voice edges you on. Your hand goes under the band of your underwear, fingers collecting wetness below to bring up to your clit, “He’s standing at the edge of the bed,” you tell him, “he’s unbuttoning his shirt, and then he starts taking off his belt… He’s smiling.”

If only you knew that hearing how bad you wanted him was making him do the same thing on the other side.

You’re panting now, one foot comes up to the bench as you slide yourself over to press your back into the corner of the wall, your head tilting back as well, using the assistance to grind into your hand. “He thinks I’m pretty.”

“That's cause are.” He’s lowered his pants now and takes his cock out from under his boxers. Your words make his mouth gape and his eyes close as he begins to stroke himself. “You really are.”

His smile fades as he bites down on his lip lightly. You’re so needy for him and so desperate to admit it. It makes him feel powerful. Almost God-like, despite you both starring as the other’s tempter. So sweet and sinful the sounds you’re making are. How could he not give in? How could he not make you wet for him even at church and stroke his cock as it happens? You’re making it so easy with every whine and little moan you try to withhold. He could hear you getting restless, but he wants to make you want it more, “Keep goin’,” he tells you. “What’s happening now?”

“I put two fingers in,” you whine, “not big enough. Never enough.”

You let your two fingers stay inside you as you press your palm down on your pussy, rubbing your clit with the underside of your hand. You stop for a moment to take off your pants and underwear entirely, discarding it on the floor before you return to your spot. You put one leg up on the bench as you continue to finger yourself.

“I want him so bad.”

“How bad, sweetheart? What would you let him do?”

“Anything, Rick.” You say it louder than you intend, you’re losing yourself. “Anything for him.”

“Anything?”

“Everything.”

After that only nonsense comes out, simple sounds of desire and pleads. It was becoming too much to talk.

Rick felt the same. His hand on his shaft made quick and short movements, his lips parted and pink, more red on the bottom than the top from when bit his lip again at the words anything and everything for him. He repeated it in his mind, listening to your sweet little whines in the present. His head tilts so far back that it bangs on the wooden wall and he hisses.

It reminds him to compose himself.

Even after you let out another moan of his name, and he swears he could almost hear just how wet you are now, the squish of your fingers going in and out, louder and louder.

He swallows hard and takes a breath before he says, “What if I say I want you in here right now?”

That’s when your movements completely stop. You can hear the wind swirling again. You were speechless.

He turns to the netted window. You two can’t see each other but you know he’s looking. “C’mere.” He says slowly. “Now.”

And after that, your body takes control. Swift and instantaneous you move from your door to his, shutting it hard. You don’t even take a moment to look at him, it was too dark anyway, and that’s not what mattered. You’ve already dreamed of his curls, and the pierce of his blue eyes. You knew what he looked like. It’s time to know how he felt.

Rick takes off his shoes and fully lowers and discards his pants. Before he could even consider his shirt, you’re on top of him. You’re kissing his face, your lips and tongue missing his lips by just a little, but it doesn’t matter.

You begin to rock, your wet pussy making the length of his cock and thigh slick before it's even inside of you. You couldn’t help yourself and it makes him laugh, all cocky and proud. Something that you’d cross your arms to, even quip back at in any other situation but right now, it’s so fucking hot.

His hands latch onto your hips, his legs slide back to hit the wall. He raises your frame and you grab him. Your sticky fingers lace around his dick and then you both lower yourself down onto him.

You try to bottom out fast, but his nails dig into you, slowing you down. Your face reaches back with a pout and a whine as he says, “Wait,” even after he’s inside of you.

Your pussy quakes around him. You’re both trying to hold it together, but he’s faring much better than you.

His hand holds your jaw, thumbs caressing your cheeks and a tear falls from your eye, all the sensations becoming too much.

His eyes trail the sight as it rolls down and he tells you, “You’re right. I do think you’re beautiful.”

And he kisses you. Tongue slipping past your lips just as quickly as they depart, going to whisper in your ear: “Go on now,” he smiles, “show me everything.”

You begin to rock against him instantly. Initiating the kiss this time, your tongue slips into his mouth but his goes on top of yours. He grabs the back of your neck, deepening it, and you continue to take charge below as you ride him.

You squeeze around his cock tightly with every movement forward and you hear a strangled groan come out of him as his dick twitches at the sensation.

It makes you moan so loudly, you could wake somebody up.

But it doesn't matter.

You could even come right now just from feeling him inside you for the first time.

And it doesn’t matter.

“I've wanted you for so long, Rick!” You tell him.

He’s all that matters.

“You’ve got me.” He tells you breathlessly, kissing down your neck with his hand tugging on your hair. “You always could’ve.”

Now you know you’re all that matters too.

Your head tilts to the side, eyes closed, and mouth open for each pretty sigh and slight hiss that come out as he bites and kisses.

His hands lower to the hem of your shirt and he pulls it off. You start to undo the buttons on his too.

It’s fast and rushed and messy, but now your chests can meet. You press into him. Your hips are rocking hard. Your clit meets his pelvic bone making you whine and moan again. “Really good,” you say.

Rick’s hands slide to grab your ass, helping you go faster until they rise to your hips again. His thumbs press into the crevice of your hips and legs and he starts to bounce you on him.

You grip onto his arms, assisting him in his efforts. Your eyes are still closed, you’re smiling— already in a state of bliss, yet relishing in the fact that he was pushing you further and further into the dream-like feeling that was to come: your orgasm was close, and the string of airy moans made it evident to you both.

The way his hands move to caress your waist, trail up your back, roll over your arms, and back down again feels like gliding on ice. You felt him everywhere.

“Come on,” he tells you.

“I'm trying, I want to.”

“I know,” he affirms. He takes hold of your upper arms, letting his hands slide down to yours that tightly gripped his biceps and placed them on his shoulders.

You bounce yourself down on him harder, switching it up to rock on him and give your clit attention, then repeat it again.

Once you’re back to bouncing Rick takes one hand on your hip, helping you go faster while the other rubs your clit as vigorously as he can.

Your mouth is open wide, pants and squirms, and pleads coming out wildly. You almost feel like you’re making the whole box jump along with you as you bounce, and bounce, and bounce, and then… there it is: you shout his name and he speaks back to you, you both come together and ride out your high.

A glow emits as you smile, your head crashing into his as you catch your breath.

Then a noise erupts.

The church door closes.

Steps become louder and louder until they reach the open confession box door.

Rick puts his finger to your lips, silently quieting you both. Your eyes are owl wide knowing what the person in the next section would find in there. You almost squirm but Rick slots his finger into your mouth to stop it. “Quiet,” he mouths as the person next to you drops the wet garments they just touched, almost running out of the place as fast as they could.

You lower your face to his shoulder. Embarrassed, you sigh, “What are we gonna do now?”

Rick is unfazed: “Well,” he starts, picking you up by the hips, securing your legs as you wrap them around him, “we could do this one more time.”

He locks the church door and then walks you down the aisle and onto the podium, placing you gently on the ground. He’s standing above you. Just like it all your daydreams.

It was his turn now.

[ashkabbom]

Nightmares - Mouthwashing

A/n: I finished the draft of this at 3am and finished the English version at 5am😭. I'm not going to lie, I was a little embarrassed while writing this, but I kind of liked how it turned out. Feel free to correct me if I wrote something wrong. English is not my first language and I used the help of translator🎀.

Versión en español en Wattpad: Libro de One Shots - Mouthwashing (Cuenta: ashkabbom)

Versão em português no wattpad: Livro de One Shots - Mouthwashing (Conta: ashkabbom)

Summary/Synopsis: Nightmares keep you awake longer than you want.

Notes: I didn't specify gender and I didn't describe any closer relationship with any character, so you decide the gender and how you see the relationship between them.

→Warning: There is mention of death, blood and suicide here, so be careful or don't read if these are subjects you don't like and doesn't feel comfortable reading, since they are sensitive topics, okay?🫶🏽 Take care of yourself.

Stupid ideas are something common to everyone, right? Well, going after that job, even knowing how strange it seemed for them to accept you so... quickly or easily, that was stupid.

Daisuke and you had been playing Monopoly for a while, maybe 30 minutes. You guessed it was sometime between 3 and 4 in the morning, the moon on the huge screen letting you know that you were definitely not supposed to be awake right now.

It was those few moments that made you feel like yourself again, less crazy. Being among the stars in space was new, you didn't really expect to be here and it was a little strange not talking to other people.

"You can pay me $250" You mentioned with a cheeky smile and a cocky voice.

Daisuke looks at you confused and then at the board. It was already the fourth time he had landed on a property you had purchased, and that in 15 minutes.

"How do you manage to make this game work in your favor?" He asked indignantly.

"Daisuke Daisuke... You need to expand your mind a lot with the knowledge of a true entrepreneur." You explain with elegance and sincerity.

"I still have a lot to learn then" Daisuke says sighing with a raised eyebrow.

"This is already the second property stolen in this game without you seeing it," Anya says as she watches you and Daisuke playing.

"Hey, I thought we were friends." You look at Anya with fake disappointment.

"I thought WE were friends!" He shouts (whispers loudly) in disbelief. "And before that you two were complaining when we were playing UNO."

"Your cards were only good cards! It was impossible for you to have gotten those cards completely randomly," Anya asks, pointing her finger at him.

"What can I do if luck was on my side?" He shrugs smugly.

"What a coincidence that luck was on your side when you were the one who shuffled the cards, huh?" You point out with a doubtful tone. "Quite a coincidence."

"A twist of fate," he quickly retorts. "By the way, you were the one who brought the UNO deck, who can guarantee that you hadn't already left the deck ready for you to deal the cards?"

"Are we really arguing about UNO this early in the morning?" Anya asks with a slight smile.

"It's for the power of being right and not being accused of false crimes" Daisuke answers simply. "But I think I've had enough of Monopoly, this game takes longer than I remember and is more fun with more than two people, since Anya didn't want to play"

"Of course I'm playing! I'm the bank!" She says, feeling wronged.

"Just handing out the money doesn't count, you're not playing in the game with us" He retorts once more, pointing at her face.

"He's right," you reply as you start to put the game away. "But I swore we had more board games here on the ship."

"And we have, I remember having more than these three at least.." Anya says a little thoughtfully. "It must be in someone's room I think"

The three of you start to put away the games you had brought there together without much fuss, although Daisuke said that one of the Monopoly dice was missing.

You never imagined meeting the two of them during one of your sleepless days. Anya you had met before when you were sleep deprived once, but Daisuke was new, out of all the others you thought he would be the one who would have perhaps the best sleep because he was an intern.

This goes down the drain when he says that sometimes he lies awake thinking only that this time he heard footsteps in the hallway, probably yours, so he went to see who it was and was lucky that it was you and Anya. If it were any of the other three, he didn't know if he would be able to make any conversation flow more smoothly.

That's how you ended up playing some games during the early hours of the morning. Daisuke suggested you guys maybe play something in silence while you talked, coincidentally you had some games.

"Did you imagine yourself working here when you did the job interview?" This time it was Anya who started a conversation.

"I was kind of pushed here, so I was hoping so," Daisuke says, remembering how he got here. "But I didn't really want to be accepted here."

"I didn't even expect to get a job so quickly, I had resigned a week earlier from another job" You say as you plop down on the couch, the two board games on your side with the UNO deck on top.

"And why did you resign?" The boy asks curiously, throwing himself on the couch and stretching.

"My boss was my ex, and he was my ex for a reason, I think that was already a reason for me to rethink whether my workplace was good or at least tolerable." You say it simply. "But obviously there were other reasons, I almost sued the place where I worked, but that's a story for another day."

"And then you came to work in such a cool place like Pony Express, what a great thing" Anya says sarcastically, sitting down next to him.

"I needed a job, water, electricity and food bills are not paid with anything" You sigh sadly. "But I think I'm going to quit when we get back, it's not necessarily rock bottom here but it's not a good thing either."

"I think I'd feel a little better if I knew less about what we were transporting into space." Daisuke complains and rests his head on his hand.

"That's a fair reason, I hadn't thought about that side of things just now.." She stops to think if at any point they had received any information about the thing that you were all transporting.

"Hmmm.. That kind of company must transport food or water, things like that, right?" You assume that it must be based on what little you know.

So you stay in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the calm that night..

Now the silence seemed like the worst torture.

If you had known that, I think you would have been better prepared to try to deal with the situation, or... I don't know. You can't even imagine knowing how to deal with this. You just want to go back to that night and make it last a lifetime.

You hugged your friend with all your strength, saying that everything was going to be okay and that she was going to be okay, you were going to go back home, you were going to play together again.

"NO NO NO! God, please tell me this is a lie!" You sob through your tears. "Anya! Please talk to me! Don't say that's true!"

She didn't respond at all, her eyes, now lifeless, staring upward, blood staining her mouth and chin.

You begged her to be a lie and just mess with you, to wink and laugh at how desperate you were and tell her she was fine. Everything seemed so unreal, so weird and heavy.

Crying is the only thing you could do right. You don't even know how long you stood there with her in your arms.

But then you freeze.

You freeze when you notice Daisuke's silence in the other room, you sob and just hear Jimmy say something about letting him think he was going to fix everything.

Carefully letting go of Anya's body you stand up.

That's not true, is it?

As you enter the other room you look to the side and feel like vomiting.

"Daisuke, no no no... Daisuke answer me, please look at me, please please..."

Screaming and crying you go next to Daisuke's body now in silence, running your hand over his face.

Gosh, you didn't even know what to do. On one side was Anya's body and on the other was Daisuke's body.

All you could do was beg any God that could hear you at that moment, beg that all of this was just a terrible dream and that your friends were okay.

They still had so many dreams, you still had so many things to do together. Even if you never left the ship and died here, you would get through this together.

What had you done to deserve this? What had Anya done to deserve a future like this? Daisuke still had so much to live for.

A few minutes pass with you sitting on the floor, now holding Daisuke's body in your arms, running your hands through his hair, saying that tomorrow is another day, that he would talk excitedly to you again..

You remember hearing Swansea yelling to go after Jimmy, but at this point you couldn't tell what you were imagining and what was real.

You lay him down again.

Everything would be sorted out tomorrow.

You walk towards the kitchen in that room.

This is all too much for your head.

You grab something from the kitchen.

Everything was going to be fine

You move automatically, and then blood gushes from your neck, the knife falls and then your body.

Curse this nightmare you lived in.

[theeternalwombtarot]

Your present reality vs far future

message: I'm doing a reading from bed today guys, believe it or not, I have not done any readings from bed in quite a long time lol! I have a designated table for these types of things in the house but I'm feeling like taking it easy today and relaxing. Sometimes doing readings or creating tarot content feels like a chore although I really love it. Many things in my life have felt like a chore lately between work and school and managing my time properly and whatever else I have selected to put on my plate. This is the reason why I'm pulling this reading out of my draft list, I have many readings stored away in my drafts about various things. I felt called to do this one because I felt that maybe the collective wanted some insight as to what the life they're working towards or manifesting may look like. I've been feeling called to do these types of 3D-themed readings for a while. I also considered releasing a financial forecast reading as well. I'm asking spirit and setting my intention for this reading to motivate and help awaken the collective to the reality their higher selves live and what needs to be done or put in in order to receive the manifestation of the dream life you deserve collective. I know many people whose past life karma, the beliefs they grew up with, their childhood trauma, and the experiences that they were given within this lifetime to put them on their highest path of ascension if they made the right choices or saw things the best way has made them feel very discouraged and stuck and has ruined the idea that a good life is available for them to be a recipient of. It is not your fault that the divine plan that was set in place for you to learn certain lessons was difficult or was dreadful or took such a large toll on you but it is possible to heal from and be relieved from such a way of things. I swear. And today I will try and deliver to you the truth of a life you could live away from the hurt, the karmic cycles, and the trauma or hard times. Anyways, many months ago when I created the draft for this reading I chose Miss Frida Kahlo and her wonderful art for my banner and my pick-a-pile covers. I hope that you enjoy her as much as I enjoy her and her legacy and art.

-

i.

your past: I pulled the three of swords for your past pile one, there could've been a lot of loss and a lot of heartbreak cut out for you. Loss may have served as a large aspect of some of your greatest lessons. The loss of a parent to death or to outside third party obligations, the loss of a lover or many, the loss of approval or much-needed validation from outside sources, loss shaped the way things were laid out for you and was responsible for some of the behaviors or needs that you had for a long time. There's an essence of learning that is so incredibly significant to you here, you could've begun your life in a way where knowledge or the need for knowledge was heavily significant in your life, but I also see this idea of the primary purpose for your life events and circumstances was for you to learn important lessons early in order for you to become something great in your future. You could've had to grow up really fast, had to experience or see things or undergo drastic changes and hardships that people usually don't at such a large volume but you were made to survive and flourish. You're someone with a great purpose, you may be a healer or a light worker or someone who has a heavily significant gift even if your gifts aren't in the world of helping people along their ascension or things that fall into the metaphysical.

your present reality: you've reached a point within your journey where you've outgrown and broken all of your karmic cycles or successfully and fully completed the portion of your life that was heavily designed by the divine to teach you some of your most intense and powerful lessons, congratulations pile one. I almost said pile two, there may be messages for you in pile two. Last night in a reading I had said that there is a portion of someone's life in which their past life karma and the events in their lives and their experiences are heavily determined by what needs to be a part of their reality in order to reach the level of ascension needed to step into their higher self and fulfill their purpose. Sort of in the way in which we spend a large majority of our lives as minors in someone's care before we're considered legal adults and can go off on our own and create our own lives and stories. and This was exactly that. You've graduated or aged out of a space in time within your journey where your hardest lessons were that were meant to shape you.

You are at the beginning of your life, the world is yours. Some of you have just turned 19 years old or are newly adults. The number 19 is associated with perseverance, inner power, and finding your own path or finding your own spiritual path. The number 1 symbolizes the beginning and the number 9 symbolizes completion or near completion or the point in which someone is about to reach their highest level of completion or wholeness. You also have the ten of cups here indicating bliss, harmony, and alignment. This point is the calm after the storm that you have experienced, the ages of 6 and 7 may be incredibly significant for you as well and could've been the point in which certain karmic cycles or karmic energies began to flare up for you within your life.

You're at this extremely significant point in time, I see spirit or your spirit guides and ancestors opening up this huge door for you or you getting ready to walk through this gigantic door you've been waiting to enter for a long time. I see little you or someone being a teenager waiting in front of a door or sitting in front of a door. Someone had an ancestor or a spirit guide that always wanted to let you in early or always wanted to let you see what was on the other side even if you weren't ready yet someone's ancestor or spirit guide is very sorry that you had a hard time or had to go through so much, you have buckets of compassion in other realms for you pile one. Behind the door there is all of these opportunities, all of this abundance and all of these beautiful things for you to have and experience as compensation.

your future: in your future there's a lot of you using everything you've learned or everything you've experienced to keep you grounded or consistently moving in the right direction. Not out of a place of fear but out of a place of wisdom and knowing. You may also be someone who struggles with commitments in your life either emotionally or in the physical/material aspect of things and this is not going to be something that continues to hold you back I just heard "You'll find your way." or something along the lines of being able to put your money where your mouth is or stand fully in the things you want to accomplish will come to you eventually and you won't have to worry about this any longer if you worry about your productivity or your performance or your ability to take action and make things happen. You'll soon be seen as someone very disciplined who has things figured out and mapped out and you'll not only be seen that way but you'll be that person actually.

Some of you are young and may feel disappointed in yourself or having a hard time accepting that you are in fact young and there are skills or things you're not immediately good at or have to learn to do with time as you come into yourself due to the fact that you may be someone who is very grown up, wise or mature in a lot of areas. You are not behind. I just heard "allow yourself to grow." someone's ancestor or spirit guide thinks it's funny that you might get upset at the fact that you have a hard time. They see you as a baby in a suit lol. You may be unable to see just how much you have within your life or feel you crave more or don't get all the recognition you rightfully deserve within this lifetime to some extent here. You may fall into a practitioner role or be someone who teaches or creates a name for themselves through a leadership role or through something like divination. You'll be someone mysterious and sensual or someone who attracts the attention or curiosity of many. I just heard "friend of the world" or "mother" You may hold mystique and/or have a very high status patriarchal or matriarchal vibe. You may be well known in the world of the arts or there will be a worldly presence about you that you'll hold for the remainder of your life.

I pulled "The Daughter of Skulls" in the deck I'm using today and in essence, she represents infinite potential of life on earth. "steady and secure materialization. infinite potential. birth. completion. abundance. strength. tangible. earthly happiness. pure creation. opportunity. generous. beautiful. sensual. benevolent. arousal. adoration. truth. security. commitment. freedom. sensations. perfection. divine inspiration and holy wisdom. here is the message behind this card in the Tarot book for this deck:

In your future, what you put out in the world you will receive in return in full capacity and you will give to the world a lot and the most valuable and most cherished things. Anything that comes from you or derives from you will be held at high regard and will be something of value. Your ideas, your guidance, your charity and even your children if you bless this world with any.

how you'll get there: value yourself and value your energy and your time and your essence. You are a person of high rare value and you must behave as such. Your first line of defense is always going to be you in the physical realm and world of the living and your second line of defense is your spirit guides and ancestors. You cannot receive the things you want in your life or get to where you want to be or be who your higher self is if you do not protect yourself in every sense there is. respect your legacy in the making. make choices according to where you want to go, be the energy you want to receive. your success in your life will come from you using your wisdom and using the respect you have for yourself and the love you have for yourself as your biggest weapon. People often see us the way we see ourselves when we have a very strong sense of identity whether or not it's a honest one or not. People will come to you because you're magnetic. Success will follow you because you're magnetic and it's safe in your hands. continue to nurture yourself and your energy and your persona. I don't even mean in the sense of who you present to others as an alter ego but your higher self or who you feel called to be. Love yourself, love your life, value your essence. easier said than done for most but if this message is yours you know exactly what means, looks like, feels like, sounds like, tastes like. Love is your sixth sense.

-

ii.

your past: your childhood or past could've had a lot of stagnancy and suppression within it. There's something authoritative here or something that restricted someone's self-expression or was very judgmental and inflexible. this could be anything a parent or a legal guardian, a school system or a culture or a religion. Someone was a brilliant child or was someone with a lot of broad potential for many things who didn't get the freedom or ability to blossom or grow the way they rightfully deserved, there's a suppressed part of someone here that has been pushed into the shadow or has been lying dormant. you may have a difficult time making decisions in your life or have low self-esteem or an inability to think for yourself, express yourself or have a wicked case of imposture syndrome that tells you that you're not worth much or that you aren't capable of much but you're very powerful and very divine.

incredibly smart, have a psychic ability or an oppressed spiritual gift. someone told you that you were crazy or weird or led you in a direction or raised you up in a way that very heavily wounded your sense of self. this could also be a case of environmental oppression of the spirit, somewhere you once resided or the place you do reside and/or haven't moved away from didn't have the resources to accommodate you or help you. you may have a mental illness or a disability or have very heavy trauma that may impair you. There was some complication with the message that came through at first, I couldn't grasp it right away and I think this is reflective of the energy you may be in because something has cut you off or pushed you to lose something that was a naturally given birthright for you that you inherited from your ancestors or one in particular like a father or a grandfather or someone on your paternal line or a masculine energy. potentially one who passed away before your time. I pulled "The Lord of Knives" in the deck I'm using here's the message and essence behind the card:

someone in your life could've known that you had a gift and took advantage of the fact that you were a child and may have had their own ideas about which direction they felt you were destined to go or put a lot of energy into suppressing your gifts or trying to break your spirit for fear you'd be entirely too difficult to control or be disobedient or out of jealousy for what you'd get in life or what you'd reap if you were allowed to grow into your power or be yourself. I see this could've been multiple people who chipped it to see you fall or have a hard time it may have started in the home or came from the home as well but it also was something you dealt with outside of your life, in your social life. Someone was afraid of fullness of conserved power in you.

your present reality: You're about to grow into yourself or at the brink of your ascension, you couldn't spent a lot of time in a stagnant place with many karmic behaviors and cycles, you could've fallen into addictions or fallen into some hard places or ran into a lot of karmic people and situations that were meant to shake you awake or act as major catalyst to put you on the right path. I hear someone saying that these were the cards you were dealt in terms of your past (both as a child and in your early life and in your recent past or in these past couple of years) and there isn't much you can do about that but you can use the cards you were dealt with to alchemize your self and learn the right lessons and find what you may have lost a long time ago. there's something significant here about your crown chakra being closed or you having a hard time learning lessons or taking the positives out of a negative situation or circumstance.

There was a recent catalyst that you've just experienced or are standing in at the moment that has been the last one for this block of time or this cycle of misfortune or hardship. You need peace and quiet or you need most at this time the ability to break away and turn inwards and soul search. It's about time some inner clarity on certain matters including the directory of your life and what you need to do come to you. you're about to rethink an idea or any clouded judgment you've had or carried with you about your sense of direction or where you needed to go, do, or be is about to clear. At this point in your life you're potentially in a place where you're juggling the persona you've been given or the one you've grown into to assimilate or that was in alignment with your choices and the life that goes with it and the person you really are and the life you are destined to have that's in alignment with who you truly are. this collective is always a really heavy one within my readings, you're always with me, I've practically grown up with you and now is your moment. I've always loved you and seen your light. it is now time you see it to and step into your power pile two.

You're in the process of regeneration and healing as well after a time long spent carrying with you wounds and skeletons. You're finally on the rise and about to reach your freedom. You're so close.

your future: I see you feeling and being victorious. a force to be reckoned with. people might actually believe you to be the golden standard of something or may idealize you or feel that you're glorious. You may be someone who is heavily put on a pedestal by their romantic partners and romanticized even to a point where you don't understand and they may become increasingly disappointed or have a hard time coming to terms with the fact that you're a real person with real flaws are can't possibly be everything they've chosen to try and make you out to be but I see this no longer being the case with anyone in the future in the sense that you will be everything and more. You may be heavily attracted to someone in your present life or be really infatuated or obsessed with someone in your present life who is a fantasy-like individual or has a really beaming sort of divinity that you wish that you could embody on your own and you will. You are divine and you will be divine and that will be the end of it. You'll be someone in the future who has a knack for improving themselves or finds great pleasure in self-improvement and pushing limits, even to the point of perfectionism it may work against you at some point but what it really does for you is set the standard for which you think you're worth and what you think you're capable of doing or accomplishing.

You may find that you'll be someone in the future and for a good amount of it who is a lone wolf or is seeking out a divine counterpart or someone to compliment you and bring to you your ten of cups or your divinely ordained commitment here or some sort of completion. I see you holding off for it and devoting a large amount of your energy towards your self-care and your physical world and career as you look for deep and divine commitment in your love life and partnerships. You may be someone who commands a lot of attention or that people desire to follow around or invest in deep commitments with but will find yourself not necessarily lonely but seeking something profound, at this stage in your ascension you'll have the ability to detect intention and what is in store for you and another individual intuitively. You could very well be a masculine energy or just someone who is very action-oriented and moves through their lives with a sense of fluidity. I pulled the "Prince of Scepters" here is the essence and description attached to this card from the book:

how you'll get there:

focus on taking the time you need for yourself to thoroughly recover from the things you've experienced and allow yourself the time to make the changes you need to make to come into your power and refine who you need to be. Don't rush into commitments out of loneliness or force yourself to be around people just to keep company or just to make it seem like you are loved by others, it's okay to be alone or to use the time you have being alone for a productive cause that pertains to you, you're not selfish or wrong for it. Continue to grow and pour your energy into yourself. Love yourself enough to meet your own needs, love yourself enough to do things for the sake of your own nourishment, and stay far away from things that can destroy you out of craving or desire. take time to think about what you truly want and come into alignment with that by trusting that it exists and that it's available for you to have if that's truly what you want. the world is yours after such a long time of being denied it and it's time you align yourself with receiving it.

-

iii.

your past: This may not be for the entire collective but it's likely there could've been some of you that could've experienced some violence or abusive environment even may have had someone in your life that was emotionally volatile that you could never truly please or had to walk on eggshells around. could've also been heavily oversexualized in your life as a child and during your teen years or general early life. there's a possibility someone could've attracted a lot of people who wanted to take from them or exploit them and did. Some of y'all could have experienced a lot of heartbreak from a young age or a lot of your needs not being met or your first heart break or massive bouts of betrayal from significant individuals like family members or like your parents and that could've heavily affected the way you behaved in front of others or how you navigated in the world. It's possible some of you could've developed a personality disorder or may struggle with mental health. You may have developed a tendency to lie to get approval or to get your way or obtain opportunities you don't believe you could receive if you were just yourself. lie or put on facades.

You may also have liked to party within the past couple of years or went through a lot to try and keep from being alone with yourself or being isolated or feeling alone. If it wasn't partying it was attempting to keep as many friends as possible or do what was necessary to keep as much attention as you felt you needed.

your present reality: you could be potentially dealing with a lot of energetic pressure in the heart space or undergoing a heart chakra awakening. You could be in and out of depression at this time potentially as well. Things from your past or past suppressed feelings or memories are resurfacing. if it's coming up, it needs to come out. You're learning what it means to love yourself and operate from a place of love instead of fear. You could be experiencing heavy emotions attached to codependency There could've been a loss or multiple. Of friends or lovers or both, people you may have heavily relied on past even a healthy point. relied on for various things, to regulate your emotions, validate your existence, or prove to you that you are loved or could be loved. There's also a potential you may have several uncut soul ties from past lovers and failed relationships, talking stages, or sexual rendezvous. You may have attempted to use your knowledge to cut them or severe them but it was somewhat unsuccessful.

You've been isolating yourself lately or having a lot of trouble being perceived or have developed a deep/deeper fear of being seen. You may have spent a lot of time off of social media or have been minimizing the amount you're willing to share about how you feel with "friends" and family. This could potentially serve as a way of being able to control your environment and what comes in and out of space so as not to trigger you. someone might be an air sign as well, you may not have the ability you may usually have to let things flow right through you or control the way you react to certain stimuli. You're bothered, triggered, or heavily emotionally sensitive or volatile at this time. You're undergoing a dark night of the soul and are in the process of waning in order to return in better shape soon. You're the last portion of the collection to undergo a full transformation. Some of you apart of this pile/collective are individuals who have younger spirits or haven't been on this early plane for very long or haven't lived multiple lives here.

You could have very youthful or childish energy or tendencies in your most authentic and natural state, you may look older or give the impression to others that you are older than you really are. You're in the process of healing the part of you that's karmic behavior may stem from a stunted place in your growth. learning how to properly navigate in the world and in your relationships, learning how to communicate properly, some of you may also be seeking out therapy or psych evaluations or may be placed in alignment to receive those types of mental health services.

your future: You'll be completely committed to the cause that is loving yourself and being the energy that you want to receive or manifest in all forms. Self love or insecurity may be something you have struggled with for the vast majority of your life so much so that a few of you have learned to heavily overcompensate or have developed an extremely inflated sense of self-importance that comes from a seemingly narcissistic place due to your past. learning how to do things authentically and from an honest place and not take short cuts or use your trauma as a way to cushion the fact that you may have some unhealed aspects of your shadow is something that you'll be learning to do and be determined to do.

You'll be in the process of challenging beliefs you've learned from your past or carried with you a long way and be in the state of learning and growing for a large amount of time for the earliest portion of your enlightened life. Any growing up you failed to do or limited mindset you've carried is what you'll primarily be working on. You may be disconnected spiritually or disconnected from spirit or God as well and your faith and purpose is something that you'll be working on or trying to find guidance through. You'll be entering your most in-depth spiritual journey or spiritual rebirth. You may have spiritual knowledge already but it comes from a limited place or the intention for learning isn't in the right place.

by the time you've completed this inner work and have come into alignment with your purpose and what you're meant to do within this lifetime you'll find yourself feeling relieved and having more room within yourself to build your life in such a way that will bring true fulfillment for you. You may have a tendency to heavily fixate on the physical or material world or the way your reality "appears" in the 3D and neglect your spirit, emotional/mental well-being, or internal affairs which has played a huge factor in your stunted growth and ability to operate and your future will begin itself with you having no choice but to shift your focus and find alignment internally before you can make anything come into rightful alignment in your physical life.

how you'll get there: you'll receive your highest reality by nurturing and healing the parts of you that need the most care and attention, which happens to be everything within and in spirit. There can be no true abundance or alignment if we don't bring into true order our internal aspects first. Be for your inner child who you would have wanted for them growing up. You are your first line of defense for your internal and vulnerable self and behind that is your spirit guides and ancestors. Your journey to your highest reality and your deepest place of alignment is going to be a lot of soul searching and a lot of inner work and growth and the effort that you put in to get yourself there. I pulled "The Daughter of Scepters" in the tarot deck I've chosen for this reading and here's the essence and meaning of the card for you to read:

I also channeled the song "Tell Him" by Lauryn Hill, and "Him" as referred to in the song would be self (you).

Your greatest strength will be utilizing the natural free-spirited energy of your spirit, use it to allow yourself to embrace change and do the inner work to break karmic cycles and emerge out of stagnancy when it finds you.

-

This reading took me so long guyss 😭😭 I broke it into two parts, I completed the first two piles that took me a couple of hours last night yesterday and then this morning I woke up with the intention to finish. I hope you found what you were looking for in this reading and it touched you!! I was unsure about the directory spirit took it in because I had envisioned it to be more of an entertainment type reading and be more surface level in its content but it turned out completely different. Bless you. 🤎

[theunaestheticstudyblr]

We need to get a little uncomfortable for a minute. But it's ok. You have to be uncomfortable in order to grow.

You're going to fail. You're going to disappoint people and yourself. You're going to have moments where you're so overwhelmed that you're curled in a ball crying and frustrated. You're going to miss important milestones. You're going to drop the ball so many times things seem impossible. You're going to fail. You're going to be mean. You're going to be a bad person at points. It's life. It happens. You just need to understand that it happens. And on those days where you want to dissappear and never be seen again because everything is too much, your brain is going to amplify all these faults and failures and make them seem worse.

Babe. We all go through this. We ALL fail. We ALL make awful choices and fuck people and ourselves over. We ALL will have moments where we are the villains. Where we completely fail a lot of people in our lives due to bad decisions. It will happen. Probably multiple times. What matters is that you recognize these things and make appropriate changes in your life to help make sure that next time isn't as bad. Maybe start learning time management so you're not stressed constantly and blowing up on everyone. Maybe find a healthy outlet like painting or the gym or cooking. Find small, simple joys to make life better. It's going to suck. You're going to be the bad guy. But that's not your entire life.

It's uncomfortable and hard to sit with. Sometimes things are your fault. Sometimes you make bad choices and they fuck your life up and fuck others over at the same time. It happens. You can't change the past, but you have the power to change your future. You can change your future. Talk to people. Find yourself outlets. Learn skills. Things get better, but they only do so if you put the effort for them to do so. I love you. You're trying. And that's all you can do. And one day you'll slip backwards and feel so defeated but when that happens, you'll have many tools to help you get even further. I promise babe everything will be ok.

[th3lovely1]

Emily Engstler x Actress! Reader

♡♡♡♡♡

- Written in headcannon form

- Possessive Emily??

- Should I make a part 2?

♡♡♡♡♡

● Being an actress has its ups and downs especially while being with Emily. You're acting in all of these movies and whatnot when Emily is dealing with basketball, so you guys are going to be busy a bit. It was something that you guys had to get used to but it worked out after a few conversations(cause with Emily yk it'd have to take a bit).

● Speaking of being busy, whenever either of you has to travel you guys ALWAYS make sure to call before bedtime. It doesn't even matter if you were too busy to talk throughout the day but the both of you always make sure to call each other at night. Sometimes you guys won't talk a lot and other times you'll talk for hours. But it just depends on how the day was. The good thing though is that Emily is always there to listen. In fact, she even encourages it most times.

"No, you're all good, baby. Keep on talking. I wanna hear how your day was"

AND HER TIRED VOICE OMG!!

● She will never EVER get tired of bragging about you. Whenever anyone asks who she's with she automatically pulls out her phone to show them sooooo many photos and all the shows/movies you were in. And most times they'll stand there like 🧍‍♀️ while she's going on a big rant about you.

"Oh yeah, this is my girlfriend. She's been in this show, which is totally awesome, you'll have to watch it sometime. But she's also been in some other stuff too. Isn't she amazing?"

● But since you're an actress that means that you're popular with A LOT of people and we all know what that means. Luckily, you have Emily at your side who will not hesitate to throw hands for you. So if you're out in public and you both start noticing someone following you or if someone's just trying to be weird in general, she'll walk right up to them and confront them about what they're doing. And she's like 6ft so of course it's gonna be intimidating for the other person. After a few interactions with Emily your fans finally started to calm down. There have been times where you've had to stop her from fighting someone for your sake.

"Em, you can't do that! Everyone's looking!"

"So what?! They can't take a hint for shit!"

"Oh my god..."

● When you're out together she loves to always be touching you in some way. Like holding your hand, resting her hand on your back, or your arms touching while walking together. It's not even just because she's reminding your fans that you're together but also because it lets her know you're by her and safe.

● There have been times when people got weird with you and it made her worry about you WAYYYYY more. She definitely turned into a little helicopter parent for a bit. At first it was sweet but it was something that you guys had to talk about and manage.

● When you have premiers for your movies, she makes sure to come to every. single. one. And she makes sure that she's matching the theme too. She gets a little nervous sometimes but you're always there to help sooth her.

"Are you sure this looks okay? You look all pretty and perfect, and I'm just..."

"You look just fine, Em. Fantastic even. You have nothing to worry about"

"You think so?"

"I know so. Now let's go"

● All of the paparazzi was something that she had to get used to. She's dealt with people coming up to her for photos and stuff but with you, it was completely different. She makes sure to bring sunglasses with her at all times or things that she knows will hide you guys easily. She's even researched different ways to deal with paparazzi in hopes of helping both of you. If yk that one anti-paparazzi scarf? She got one for you.

● She's really understanding about how your guy's schedules work and so are you. So being busy and sometimes missing some things isn't too big of a deal unless it is really big or important. It is a rule to communicate about it after though.

● COMMUNICATION IS MF KEY IN THIS RELATIONSHIP!!! I can not stress that enough. She knows that you have all these fans and people looking at you so there are times when you have to reassure her. And being busy so much is another thing that had to be managed. There was a lot of talking when you guys first got together. But all of that just makes your relationship stronger.

[dovesdreaming]

Soo, idk if ur still doing Harry Hook requests, but could you possibly do Harry Hook x reader who is the daughter of the cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland? And if you do, I would like it to be Head cannons pls!! :)

Your Cheshire Cat grin

Such a good request! I hope you enjoy what I wrote <3 sorry it took so long and that it’s not as long as it could be!!

Warnings: none

Not proofread

You and Harry as a pair were a dangerous combination. You constantly got into trouble together and would be asked where your other half was if you were seen without the other.

-Your relationship started from being friends and blossomed into a relationship. However your friendship consisted of a lot of flirting and people often mistook you for a couple any way.

-You match each others freak. There’s nothing more to say than that.

-You of course inherited your fathers smile and Harry loved it. He thought it was the right mix of cheeky and cute. He always made you laugh just to see your Cheshire Cat grin.

-Due to your father you also loved playing tricks on people and you often roped Harry in to help you. He would go along with anything you said though he was too lovestruck to care.

-You could disappear and reappear at will and used this to your advantage to confuse people. But you also were a bit lazy and skipped the walk from each class. Harry however would still insist to carry your bag like the gentleman he is.

-You had grown up in wonderland so of course you were slightly crazy but nothing you did ever fazed Harry even if other people were.

-Harry would love to visit wonderland with you and find out more about your childhood. He understood what is was like to grow up somewhere completely different to Auradon and the isle. He knew what it felt like when you were homesick and missed the comforts only your world offered. He would help out in anyway he could, trying to recreate certain foods or teas you had there, he just wanted to see you happy again.

-Harry would happily listen to any stories you had of wonderland and would grow to love the place almost as much as you.

-if you inherited powers to turn into a cat you would live to wonder around in this form. You would always catch Harry off guard and sometimes manage to scare him. Would love to play games of hide and seek Harry doesn’t know he’s part of.

-He would find you sunbathing on a window sill, completely unbothered by how worried he looked by him thinking you had gone missing.

-Would always be willing to protect you and put himself in danger for you.

-You would be classes as the oddball of Auradon (think the Luna lovegood of the school) yet he never took notice of the weird glances you got.

-You always seemed to be off in your dreamworld and he was fascinated by what was going on in your head

-You would happily visit neverland with him and got on with tinker bell very well, she might even lend you some pixie dust which Harry was quite jealous of.

-His friends were a bit confused by his interest in you at first but after spending more time with you saw how interesting you were as a person. You were conniving yet kind and it drew them to you. Harry was pleased that the people he cared about liked you, not nearly as much as he liked you though.

-Would always attend any tea party’s thrown in wonderland and would think they were the best party he had ever been to (though he hadn’t been to many in the first place)

-Found your style of purple clothing very attractive even if others didn’t. Loved how you were never scared to express yourself.

-Would never judge your whimsical behaviour in anyway and would always protect you from the weird glances thrown at you. He would love every part of you and nothing would ever change that.

Thank you for reading 🫶

[kurishiri]

Darius Vogel ┊ To our greed this Christmas

꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ notice ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ this translation may not be 100% accurate or contain creative liberties due to characterization or narrative flow purposes. if you enjoy, please consider reblogging, but don’t repost these or claim these as your own!

— the 110 times sent bonus for elbert's promised christmas event.

— cw: none.

(Hmm... the one on the right seems easier to use, but on the other hand I feel like the one on the left has a more gentle color...)

Christmas was approaching, and I had a day off. And so I found myself at a store selling miscellaneous goods, picking them up and mulling over them.

Darius: There should be some other colors if you go farther in, so you could check over there?

Kate: Thank you for the advice... wait, Darius?

Darius: Hello there, miss fairytale keeper. Are you shopping for something?

Kate: Yes, I am. I was thinking of buying something for everyone at Crown, so...

Darius: Oh, so that’s why Harrison Gray’s waiting some ways away, I take it.

Apparently, Darius, with his good eyesight, was able to see Harrison waiting at the shopfront — something I wasn’t able to see.

Kate: Ideally I would’ve liked to prepare everything in secret, but I’m not allowed to go out on my own for security reasons...

Darius: And so you chose the person most likely to figure out what you were planning first.

It was exactly as Darius said. Even if I were to keep it a secret, Harrison would know I was lying right away...

If that was the case, I decided to exclusively tell Harrison the situation sooner rather than later and involve him in the plan.

(Darius really is incredible, managing to figure all that out in an instant.)

Darius: Oh, I know, can I tag along in your shopping trip? I’m curious to see what you’ll choose.

Kate: It’s nothing so grand, so it might be a bit boring, but... if that’s fine with you.

And so, that was how Darius came to accompany me.

Having finished picking out presents, we stood in line to check out together.

There were a lot of people shopping, so it looked like it would be quite a wait before our turn.

Darius: By the way, miss fairytale keeper... giving them a gift to win them over, what are you planning to make them do?

Kate: W-win them over...?

Darius: Are presents not a way to convey how much you’re thinking about whoever you’re giving it to?

D: You know, conveying something like, ‘I find myself thinking about you sooo much.’

D: So I was curious what you were seeking in return.

Kate: Such a thing didn’t even cross my mind... I just wanted to give them something as thanks for taking care of me throughout the day.

Darius: Well is that so.

I told him my feelings as they were, and while he nodded [1], he didn’t seem very convinced.

Kate: But... I am glad to have gotten your perspective.

K: Even if my intention was to give it to them as a thank you and wasn’t seeking anything in return,

K: the recipient might feel otherwise, feeling an obligation to give something back and whatnot.

Darius: You kind, soft fairytale keeper, you.

D: But, if you want to survive, wouldn’t it be better to be a bit more devious?

D: Currying favor with the strong is one of the ways for the weak to live, you know.

So...he’s probably saying it would be better to use this present as a way to cajole them.

(‘Presents are a way to convey how much you’re thinking about whoever you’re giving it to’...huh.)

In order to pave their way through the world, sometimes one must show a fake smile or say something completely opposite of what they felt.

Darius was a person with status, so I imagined he must have had many interactions with ulterior motives laced in.

...But, for some reason, to think that all presents were given out of self-interest,

felt like such a lonely thing to me.

After checking out and retreating from the line, I gave Darius a certain something.

Kate: Darius, here... would you take this?

Darius: What’s this now?

Kate: Just now, I did a little lottery with the amount of money spent... and I got a piece of candy as a participation prize.

Darius: ...One piece of candy.

Kate: Well, I wanted you to know that there are presents that don’t have any ulterior motives, so...

Darius: Indeed... it’s hard to think a single piece of candy demands anything in return, though...

D: Pfft...ahaha!

As if saying he couldn’t take it any longer, Darius started to laugh.

Darius: Ahh, you really are strange... hey, miss fairytale keeper, did it never occur to you it could be considered rude?

D: It’s a bit hard to say this myself...but considering I’m a noble visitor from Germany, giving me a single piece of candy as a present...

Kate: Ah...! Y-you have a point there.

I was only thinking about how I wanted to give him a present with no strings attached... but I hadn’t considered anything else, much to my embarrassment.

Darius: Hehe...it’s fine. It is interesting, so I’ll allow it.

D: It’s the first time I’ve ever received such a trivial present.

Pinching the candy with his fingers, Darius lifted it up to his eyes, staring at it.

Darius: That said, this isn’t quiiite enough to convince me that ‘there are presents without any ulterior motives.’

Kate: Huh...

Darius: See, your version of a ‘present’ is something you chose while thinking of the recipient, no?

D: Like the one you chose for Crown.

Saying that, Darius pointed to the paper bag I was holding.

Darius: Go and prepare a present from your heart, miss fairytale keeper, rather than giving a participation prize and whatnot...

D: And make me believe that such a thing doesn’t demand anything in return.

D: You see, I can’t help but really want such a present.

(...I don’t even need Harrison here to know he’s lying through his teeth.)

(Darius truly, from the bottom of his heart, doesn’t believe such a present could ever exist.)

It started to occur to me that there were emotions in Darius’ heart that I couldn’t expect in others.

And to him, that flickering greed of his didn’t amount to more than one of his play on words.

(But...)

Kate: Alright then. Getting one right now might be a stretch... but someday, I will give you one.

This emotion that made me want to make Darius believe someday — I wonder, what could that be?

Driven by an impulse, I made this declaration, and in response, Darius grinned.

Darius: Really now? Well then, I’ll look forward to it.

His smile was as beautiful as it was perfect. ...But, those honey-colored eyes seemed to contain a cold hue.

And I felt a strong desire then... to get my hands on something that could strip away that fabricated expression of his.

Fin.

first next →

masterlist🪽🎁 ┊ ko-fi ☕️ ┊ comms 🤍

NOTES:

[1] Kate uses [相���] (aizuchi) here, which can indicate nodding, but more broadly speaking, it refers to interjections that a listener may use to indicate that they are listening to the speaker. This could be nodding or making “hmm” sounds or other small replies.

[alonetimelover]

maybe reader showering harry with kisses after one of his shows and harry just talking it all in or something like that.

pairing: boyfriend!Harry Styles x reader

word count: ~700

warnings: they kiss, quite a lot; fluff !!

a/n: thank you @harrystylesnumber1 for coming up with the idea!

boyfriendrry masterlist taglist

——————————————————————————————

Adrenaline was buzzing through Harry’s veins as he was running down the stairs, straight from the stage of his first night back on tour. Love on Tour. Los Angeles. After years Harry was back in his element. And the love of his life was waiting right there, behind a black curtain with one of the biggest smiles on her face. 

"Did you hear them?" Harry asked, nearing YN, placing huge steps to be close to her as quickly as possible. 

"I did! It was so loud!" YN screamed excitedly, opening her arms for Harry to fall into them. 

"I’m so pumped! I fucking missed it,” he mumbled the last sentence in YN’s shoulders, melting into her arms. 

From the side they look like two pieces finally put together. Their bodies completed each other, every curve falling into every indent, the overall contour of them making one, complete and full line. People were used to how Harry and YN could fall into their own World and learn not to try to get them out of it. Even if they did, none of them would succeed. The couple, when in each other's presence, forgot about the circling world around them. No noise, no visuals could break them apart. Well, almost.

“Let me look at you.”

Harry lifted from her shoulder, giving her a tired but loving smile. 

“I’m so proud of you.” YN caressed Harry’s face, brushing those curls back to see his eyes. The wrinkles by them just reflected how happy he actually was. 

“Couldn’t have done it without you, lovie.” 

With enamoured look in her eyes, YN closed the millimetres gap between their lips and welcomed Harry in one of the first post-concert blissful kisses. The type of kisses that Harry added to his favourites. Ones that lingered and stayed with him. Ones that just started but felt like they had been shared between them for centuries. The feeling of her soft (or sometimes chapped) lips against his deprived ones, brought him feelings of home, of something so familiar that could be just his. 

“I love you,” she murmured, brushing her lips against his. 

“Mhmm,” he almost giggled, pecking her multiple times. “I love you.”

Just like if the World stopped, YN and Harry fell into their embrace. From time to time, either of them would pick up their head and plant some small, some long and some lustful kisses on the other person’s body. Only when Harry neared that one spot YN’s breath hitched. 

“Harry, not here.”

“There’s no one around,” he grinned to her neck, getting closer and closer to his destined spot. 

There in fact were dozens of people around them. Harry’s band, management, friends and family were walking around the backstage space, trying to find the one and only - Harry. From his mother, through his manager to one of his cousins, they all tried to look for him and drink a celebratory drink. 

“Harry, baby,” she pleaded, trying to take his mind off making her crumble at his feet in such a public place. 

Harry eventually unlinked from her neck after having it lightly grazed with his teeth. Looking into her eyes, he sent her a smirk that he knew she couldn’t resist. One that he used to just make her agree to something that she would have but needed some encouragement. 

Shaking her head with a grin, she once again kissed him, taking his breath away. They moved their lips in perfect rhythm. And when Harry placed one of his hands on YN’s lower back, she gasped from the closeness of their bodies, giving Harry a perfect opportunity to deepen the kiss. With her hands in his hair, she pressed harder and harder into him, craving that closeness. 

“There you two are! Always hiding together!” 

Upon hearing Harry’s mum's voice they fell apart, breaths heavy and swollen lips, trying to act like nothing had happened. Anne just smirked at them, shaking her head. 

“I saw nothing. I know nothing. Just - just come with me. Everyone is waiting for you two.” 

Felling their faces burning, they moved hand in hand behind the older woman, trying to suppress their smiles. 

“Stop smiling,” YN whispered to Harry, pinching his side. 

“Nope.” 

And just like that he pecked her lips one more time for good measure and with a love-struck look picked up the pace, swinging their arms up and down. 

[jokeroutsubs]

[📝ENG TRANSLATION] Bojan Cvjetićanin: We miss our family members the most (Suzy)

Original article written by Tomaž Mihelič for Slovenske novice on 08.11.2024, PHOTO: Vita Orehek, Mediaspeed. English translation by a member of JokerOutSubs, review by @kurooscoffee, proofread by IG Gboleyn123

Already living the dream of every rocker in your early twenties is unimaginable to most. But not for Joker Out.

Full article under the cut 👇

Bojan is very attached to his mum. (ph: Mediaspeed)

08.11.2024 at 06:00

Upon release of their newest album, we spoke with the singer and songwriter, who told us how radically their lives have changed in the past year, revealed the pitfalls of fame and told us why there aren't many reasons to be optimistic. We also found out who the boys miss the most when they are away from home for months at a time.

“In the last year and a half, we have already completed five tours in Slovenia and Europe. We are slowly heading towards the next one. I have to admit, it’s an incredible feeling when you make your childhood dreams come true,” a good humoured Bojan starts the conversation. “It seems like science fiction to us and we still haven’t quite managed to get used to these previously unknown dimensions. It takes our breath away, when we arrive somewhere new, in a different country, and the crowds collectively sing in Slovene for an hour and a half,” he tries to describe his impressions.

The most precious moments are those with family. Apart from sister Tijana and mother, paediatrician Dr. Snežana Cvjetićanin, the only one missing in the photo is the father, senior doctor Branko Cvjetićanin. (ph: Mediaspeed)

“We are marching quickly towards an inevitable doom. Why false optimism, when we see innocent children being slaughtered while those responsible turn a blind eye?"

As brothers

He says it's hard to get used to them not being home. It is a special strange feeling, not only for them, but also for the fans who are preparing for their performance in good faith and are dutifully learning this foreign language they’ve never heard before. “Maintaining close contact with our fans requires an enormous amount of energy, but they give it back to us in abundance, so there is pure love flowing between us. We've had our share of challenges, especially among ourselves, because we spend a lot of time together with the boys. It is no longer a friendly or business relationship, but a kind of partnership. Maybe it's more appropriate if I say that we are like brothers," outlines the close ties between the five musicians.

“The moods flow from very beautiful to friction, frustrations, creative holes and successes. There are ups and downs and you have to be able to navigate between them. In principle, we have not allowed our ego to take the lead. If you process and filter your concerns on the fly, they are easier to control. At the same time, we have producer Žare Pak with us as a kind of psychotherapist. An immense help to us are also genuine relationships with colleagues from the industry, as we learn and resolve many things through conversations with them. Sometimes you even inadvertently get some useful advice,” he smiles.

“It's really bizarre that we sell out halls like that and the best 'tourbus' you can afford is waiting for us in the car park. We hired it with our own money and our own achievements.”

When you don’t feel at home at home

It's a great achievement to be able to make a living from music these days. Let alone that you manage to do it while you're still studying. Joker Out are the exception, not the rule. But every triumph carries consequences, especially in enormous emotional ranges. From the euphoria, when thousands of people are screaming in front of you, to the emptiness that occurs backstage or in a hotel room. “What confused me the most was the feeling that at home, I no longer felt homely anymore because we had been abroad for so long. I was really lost, that's when my parents and sister came to my aid. We are a very close family, we talk openly about everything and these relationships save lives. Mother's food and advice, father's wisdom, Tijana's sincere hugs have healing power,” he says gratefully.

The author of all of the lyrics and the first voice of the band is happy to have a genuine brotherly relationship with the boys. (ph: Vita Orehek)

Having never travelled much before, he wasn't used to spending weeks away from the safety of home. “The circumstances of literally living out of a suitcase for a year and a half turned everything upside down. When I returned to Slovenia, it seemed strange to me that I had to get used to the fact that we wouldn't be going on the road for a while. I had to give it time. A few laps around Ljubljana and the proximity of best friends was enough for everything to fall back into place.”

Following the paths of world legends

He can be relieved that he is not subject to the various temptations that characterise extreme emotional fluctuations. On the one hand, fame and public expectations, on the other, inner struggles and the desire for privacy. “It seems to me that it is all a result of upbringing. My parents instilled in me the right amount of self-confidence, a healthy self-image and trust in myself and those closest to me. This is the foundation for solving any problem. Once I got rid of the panic attacks on stage, I found contact with my old self. Switching between private and crazy stage dynamics has fortunately never been a problem for me,” he says honestly. For the lay public, it is good to point out that Joker Out performs at iconic venues in European capitals.

They drive around in the grand buses we see in the movies, but for them it's all reality. “And none of this has changed us to the point of rising above the others. We still keep our essence: authenticity is the most valuable. A few times we've had to literally pinch ourselves when we've arrived at some legendary club where bands like the Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin and the like once played, and now we're standing on that stage. Before the concert, we got our hands on a book with the signatures of the performers and could hardly believe that our name would now be among them. It's really bizarre that we sell out a venue like this and the best 'tourbus' you can afford is waiting for us in the car park. We rented it with our own money and our own achievements,” marvels Cvjetićanin. As a result of the aforementioned panic attacks, he has not been able to truly appreciate all that he has received, and during a retrospective of the last period, he points out: “Even as children, we did not dare to imagine that one day we would experience all this.”

Nothing fell from the sky

And how do they keep from being blinded by all the glamour? “In reality, there is no luxury at all. We don't have luxury cars and villas waiting for us at home. We are not treated to economic excess. We still go home to the same people. I am sure that none of us is predisposed to become a total jerk if he had a euro more in his bank account. We are by nature very diligent and hard-working. We do get lucky sometimes and things work out in our favour, but that would not be the case if we were bored and waiting for something to fall out of the sky. We have always strived for success and we are proud of the results we have achieved so far. Now we have to find a common sense limit as to when we are satisfied. When we can say to ourselves that we are happy with what we have and not endlessly strive for more. What makes me happy is creating, making music, hanging out with quality people, good food, getting a good night’s sleep, which I manage to catch despite my busy schedule,” he winks mischievously, before we focus on his love. Song writing. Some authors are constantly under pressure to produce a hit.

Joker Out uses music to draw attention to current issues in our society. (ph: Primož Lukežič)

Is he one of them? “No way! I don't make music to please other people, it has to vibrate for me first. There is no such thing as a good song. It's subjective to taste. You can talk about pressure when you have to finish an album. There are time constraints and a vision of how we want to present ourselves as a band. Here, we are faced with chasing compromises and healthy, middle ground to make sure everyone is happy with the product. Time is the biggest enemy of all creatives. Especially those who have a project in mind. There's always too little of it,” he says.

Why false optimism?!

Joker Out's songs carry important messages. They will not give up this principle. Although, for the first time ever, we will see a little pessimism on the new album. “Inspiration comes from all sides and the theme is self-confessional. It's not hard to find inspiration to write nowadays. We live in terribly 'messed up', hypocritical times, where something is happening on every front. I am a sentient being and the horrors in the world touch me quite a bit. We also deal with such topics. There are so many injustices happening globally every day that deserve a voice, but people generally only stand up for those that they feel are important enough. When human rights are clearly violated, we as a band feel compelled to express our opinion. But we don't always do so, because it is impossible, because for every war there are hundreds of others that we as a society simply overlook. We are silent,” he digs at the wound of modern civilisation.

“It takes our breath away when we arrive somewhere new, in another country, and the crowds collectively sing in Slovenian for an hour and a half.”

And what shocks, angers, saddens him the most? “That there are no rules and you can do whatever you want if you have enough power or capital. That everything is allowed and applauded, no matter how bloody it is. The legal world, the rule of law, organisations of any kind are plain bullshit, because the chosen elites do not have to abide by any laws”, he is blunt and horrified that new generations have to bear the consequences of greed. “We have come so far as a community that it affects creativity. With one song, for the first time, I went into complete pessimism, with no turn to positivity. It's a story in which I express fear and distrust that things could be better. We are marching fast towards the inevitable doom. Why the false optimism when we are witnessing live the slaughter of innocent children while those responsible turn a blind eye?” he criticises, before falling silent for a few moments.

Finally, however, he turns to the light, to the forthcoming showcase concert tour.

“We have a lot of rehearsals ahead of us to make sure the songs are familiar under our fingers. We won't have any special fitness training, although some amount of recreation can’t hurt. We don't have any altitude training though, as if we were going to the World Championships,” he laughs and promises to bring back some souvenirs from the trip. “Preferably our Souvenir Pop,” he hints at the title of their album, which will be available from the 15th of November.

“We're still going back home to the same people, and I'm sure none of us is predisposed to become a total jerk if he had a euro more in his bank account.”

[vorthosjay]

Hi Jay. Not wanting to sound mean, but I really think it must be commented and that there's no softer way of doing that: the company's statement of Thunder Junction being an inhabitated plane prior to MoM is not a honest way of capitalizing on a sellable trope without touching its uncomfortable issues. It's even disrespectful. They have done it in a less flagrant way with Kaladesh and both Ixalan iterations, but now they've gotten too far with Thunder Junction. Colonialism is too big an issue to simply being put under the carpet as it never existed and we could just enjoy the sunny part of the history. I really hope Hasbro as a company acknowledges this and changes its way of dealing with the theme. Thanks for letting me pointing this.

Look, you caught me on a bad day, so I'm going to be as polite as possible but let's start with the foundation that this is not a complaint to direct at me. I have no control over any of this. Mark Rosewater exists and takes feedback on Tumblr.

But, let's talk about it, because I've seen some folks take this to extremes.

First off, I've seen a lot of well meaning folks speaking up on behalf of hypothetical indigenous americans, but I'd love to get takes from folks this actually impacts. I'd love for Wizards to post something about their work with cultural consultants, for sure. But the only actual thing I've seen so far is a great story from Magic's first indigenous american author. And when you're speaking on someone else's behalf, you tend to miss things. Like, Kaladesh is not the great representation of south asian culture that you might think when you jumped to it, and it's okay if you didn't know that, but it sort of proves the point that it's very difficult to actually protest on someone else's behalf. And I just haven't heard from anyone who has also mentioned they speak from authority or are impacted by this. That doesn't mean you're wrong, necessarily.

But here's the thing. Thunder Junction isn't history. It takes cues from the American West, sure, but it's a fake world. And sometimes it's okay for a fake world to ignore the bad things that happens in real life and create something more aspirational. Magic does this all the time. Magic doesn't have homophobia, but that isn't really realistic or representative of the real world, is it?

No one, and I mean literally no one, came to me and said that people of color needed to be ostracized and not allowed to work alongside the white people in the demon mob families of New Capenna. That racism was real, it was systemic, and it was violent. But did it need to be tackled in a fantasy crime drama based on america in the 20s? Should it have been? I don't think anyone would have enjoyed it as much. Sometimes it's just fun to play gangster.

Similarly, the colonization and manifest destiny that was the reality of the American West was tragic, but does that need to be our only depiction of indigenous peoples - being colonized? If they were erased completely from the narrative, that would be awful, but can't they just have fun being cool thunder slingers? The Atiin were developed with a consultant, and if you want answers ask Wizards to talk about it.

There's a reason the Oltec were depicted as being sealed off from the Immortal Sun drama that had happened on the surface. To have an aspirational mesoamerican culture that wasn't affected by the Dusk Legion and Azor and all that.

To put it in another perspective, does every period piece featuring black americans need to feature systemic racism to be respectful? Is Bridgerton disrespectful (I mean probably but not for that reason)?

The reason I've framed a lot of this as questions is because I don't necessarily think I know the right answer, especially not for a fantasy card game. I've worked with tribal governments in my emergency management career and spent a week on the Navajo Nation, and talked a lot about perspective on things, and I would not presume to know what the right answer to all of this is.

Edit: to be clear, Could it have been handled better? Probably. I will never deny that. But also it’s a complicated and fraught topic and I’d love to hear from the people wizards contracted who actually know what they’re talking about.