#and someone comments going ‘I hope there an option to abstain from this feature for those who enjoy classic doom’

[clowndensation]

the thing about nanowrimo allowing chat ai is that it’s stupid but also who cares lol.

[dysphoric-affect]

Judge For Yourself

As this decade ends and a new one begins, I find myself waxing reflective, as I’m sure many of you are, about what gaming has brought us over the last ten years and where it’s poised to head next. Just to be clear, when I say what gaming has brought us, I don’t simply mean the new consoles and games that have come out during that time, but even more broadly the trends in game development on the one hand and in the gaming community on the other.

It’s also noteworthy that the 2010’s mark the first decade in human history where social media has been a prevalent part of our daily lives the entire time. The ability to share our interests and opinions with anyone anywhere is now a power in everyone’s hands. This has correlated with the growth of gaming, leading to the ability for the communities surrounding a game to support each other and inform the public at large about every facet of a given game much more easily, making games more approachable than ever before. In this respect, the ubiquitous nature of social media has impacted gaming for the better.

Unfortunately, this is not the limit to the impact such outlets have been able to have. With the ease of ability to share your opinion with anyone around the world has naturally come the ability for negative opinions to be disseminated far more easily and widely than ever before, too. While everyone is certainly within their right to avail themselves of that resource and share their feelings when they don’t enjoy something, or at least are let down somewhat by it, it is to me quite another matter if one is to deliberately encourage negativity in others in the gaming community, whether out of seeking validation they are “right” or more simply for the sheer act of garnering attention toward their existence and validating them as a person more generally. With our lives being limited in length and with there being enough daily sources in said lives to incur negative feelings from for any of us, I am of the opinion that nobody who makes their modus operandi encouraging negativity deserves the dignity of our attention, lest we encourage more of the same.

Yet, clearly my opinion doesn’t seem to be shared by as many as I wish it was. Everywhere you look, the monster of toxicity now runs rampant. While that expression may have preceeded this decade, this is the one in which it truly manifested itself into the household expression it is today. We now exist in a state where a single cut feature by a given developer to make room for a newer idea within a given series or trying to do anything different in general will be met with angry backlash online by people who denounce the game in question as “trash” and the developer as “dead” or deserving of going under.

Claiming any given game’s quality in such a derogatory way and wishing those who made it would go out of business for offending our delicate sensibilities as consumers when they put a great deal of time and effort into such projects and when their failure would hurt their livelihood and that of the families they are supporting would be excessive enough even if it were the case that those making such statements had all played the games in question in any particular case. I probably don’t need to tell you that this is rarely the case, however. A great deal of this kind of vitriol often comes before a game has even been released, with those angered professing a certainty about how series/developer-destroying a new aspect of the story or gameplay will be that betrays a great deal of hubris on their part, a hubris divorced of any experiential basis. This has grown to the extent we now find games being judged on their graphical quality in advance of release, in spite of the fact that graphics are one of the last things finished in the development of any video game.

Even once games have come out and are deservedly open to full critique born of playing them, it is often the case that those condemning them haven’t even played the titles in question still. Many who claim they have are curiously absent the kind of specific, detail-oriented knowledge one would expect anyone who has first-hand experience to be able to provide. Others will admit they haven’t but claim they are informed enough because of seeing the reviews and various critiques on social media that they “know” it’s quality in essentially the same way as anyone else who has played it. Any equivocation between experiencing a thing for itself and experiencing someone else’s opinion of a thing as essentially the same thing is a false equivocation, especially when someone else’s opinion isn’t even based on actual experience of a thing, as is so often found to be the case right now with the gaming content in question.

I hardly need point you to specific examples of this, because if you are interested enough in gaming to be reading this post, then you know the sort to which I’m referring. There are any number of YouTube “content creators” - and I use that in the loosest conceivable sense of the label - who have clearly made their entire approach to content based around promoting and fanning the flames further of any current trend of toxicity within the gaming community. A facade of “concern about the creation of better games and better practices by game studios” scarcely hides the interest in drawing the sheer number of hits negative content is liable to incur for them, a likelihood which I’m not naive enough to believe isn’t something they aren’t aware of in advance and actively working to solicit. One has to wonder, at a certain point, how many of these creators even believe in the viewpoint they draw attention to, or how much they truly care about games in general, for that matter. I’ll not be naming any such “content creators” here, as I feel no obligation to draw the curious toward giving their content more attention when it has already garnered more than it deserves, but as I said, if you’re reading this...you know the kind I’m talking about.

As a snowball starts an avalanche, so too has it become the case that these specific instances of toxicity create a greater issue than what to me seems really called for in most situations as well, as in recent time I’ve noticed a new trend in more offical gaming publications online picking up on these cases and reporting it as a newsworthy story, rather than such controversies staying on the forums they used to be relegated to. Forum users’ message board comments and their online handles are now even being quoted in stories about such controversies in a manner not dissimilar in tone from what one might expect of the eyewitness of a car accident, though I have genuinely seen such stories about the latter published with less somber an overtone than stories about the unfair cost of some DLC.

This state of affairs is so ridiculous to my perception as to be laughable, but for the fact that its ever-growing and tangible impact on the gaming community is so corrosive. For a community centered around a medium we seek out and take part in to feel delighted and entertained, we have a preoccupation now with relishing in feeling hate toward various aspects of it, or at least in watching others do so, which is hardly better as it is encouraging such behavior by gifting it the dignity of attention. Look at the number of views and comments any given negative article or video on a controversy has, and compare that to the aggregate of those on anything related to more positive content concerning the same game, or simply news about the game in general which is neutral in judgement, and the difference will tell you the tale in where we currently sell our time and attention.

I’ve said before in this blog and I will say it again: my goal here is to promote positive content in relation to being a gamer. However, considering my interest in promoting a healthy positivity in the gaming community - one not irrationally positive but not irrationally negative, either - and looking forward to the next decade and what changes it will bring to gaming, I felt compelled to speak up and pass my indictment on the current toxic culture of the gaming community. We should be ashamed things are in this state, and we should all do what we can to put a stop to it. Again, not a stop to any criticism - that is needed, and vital at that - but the excessive, unproductive and profiteering-oriented hate-mongering that is so prolific.

A simple way to start is to abstain from watching videos of that nature and checking out other kinds of content which are clear from the surface to be promoting that kind of toxicity. Beyond that and more simply, even, we can also just discuss what we love about games more. It’s not that we don’t still talk this way about them, but we certainly could stand to do it more. The more we vote on the tone of content we would like to see with what we are all choosing to talk about, the more we discourage the toxicity that divides and corrodes this community.

Further, I would encourage more people to depend less on reviews and try out titles for themselves. Borrow from friends or check out titles through one of the various subscription services available these days if you are wary of paying the full cost for a title you may not enjoy; there are plenty of options that minimize the cost to you as a gamer to get the most accurate assessment of how quality a game is to you: first-hand experience. I. The end, no reviewer is ever going to have their finger on thhe pulse of how you would feel about a game as much as you will have yourself playing it, so don’t let these people decide for you how good something is to you.

In the end, I’m essentially just asking that we try to be a more happy and thankful community around this medium that gives us so much reason to feel that way toward it. I hope you’ll do your own part, and together that we can make the next decade of gaming an even brighter one for all of us. Let’s make it so when we look back at the end of the 20’s and what gamers were like during it, we can say unequivocally that we’re a gamer and proud of it, not just out of love of games, but knowing what that represents in the quality of tthe people who play them. I look forward to being there with all of you through it.

———-

Thanks for reading this post! If you enjoyed it, please consider leaving a like, commenting and following, and especially reblogging so it can reach more people. Any support like this is greatly appreciated. Happy New Year, gamers.

[undothedamage-blog]

Talking About Abuse

Strap in, this is a long one. Skip to the bottom for a TLDR if needs be.

It’s impossible to spend time in the #abuse tags on Tumblr and not run into discourse re: personality disorders. 

And it’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot because I’ve stumbled across the dividing line trying to figure out where I stand. And I think both sides need to remember this:

Mental illness does not make someone abusive. But an abuser with a mental illness may be particularly cruel.

It’s a point that abuse expert Lundy Bancroft has made, and he knows what he’s talking about.

Ideally, I’d like to see the abuse community create new terminology. What exactly, I’m not sure. I’m certainly open to suggestions. Egotistical abuse? Trumpian abuse? Egocentric abuse? Conceited abuse? I don’t know (personally, I prefer Egocentric). We’re not actually trained and qualified to diagnose our abusers with specific disorders. So I’d feel more comfortable avoiding terminology that is already well-defined as something specific that may or may not accurately apply to our situations and that, imo, removes some responsibility from abusers for their choices and behavior.

That said, on the other side of things I’d say to think long and hard about whether you want to attack and possibly re-victimize somebody who is in the long, hard process of recovery from abuse for talking about things like “narcissistic abuse.” Not everything is about you. And if you have experience with mental illness you should consider using that experience to fuel compassion for victims (who are highly likely to be suffering their own mental illness as a result of their abuse) rather than launching into them because they are repeating the terminology that was handed to them by somebody else. By all means, educate people via posts on your own blog. But if you must call out a specific person (whether by reblog or anon asks), remember that the person on the other side of that screen has just spent a very long time, years or decades in some cases, being put down, attacked, criticized, shamed, and endlessly treated as wrong and stupid. If you want to engage with them, don’t do it in a way that will trigger them. And don’t treat them like just another ableist asshole. They’re trying to make sense of what has been done to them and a lot of the people providing answers and hope to them for the first time are teaching them this vocabulary. These people, the ones with a large audience and significant influence, are probably who you should be asking to reconsider their wording.

However, I want to emphasize again to my fellow abuse survivors, that not all abusers have personality disorders (in fact, most probably don’t). Not all people with personality disorders are abusive (and we should really, really hesitate to add to the stigma they face). And abusers who DO have personality disorders would probably still be abusive even if they were magically no longer mentally ill. So just as I ask people to have compassion for victims, I’d ask victims to have compassion for the mental illness community and embrace language that allows us to talk about certain flavors of abuse without co-opting words from the DSM nor contribute to stigmas that harm others (especially when we consider that the mentally ill are often more likely to be victims of abuse themselves). We are, generally, on the same team. And it really requires very little effort to just abstain from using certain phrases or words. 

Again, mental illness does not make somebody abusive. Don’t let abusers get away with using mental illness as an excuse by perpetuating language that implies otherwise.

It boils down to the same problem I have with people calling mass-shooters or terrorists “crazy.” For one thing, it dissolves their responsibility and that’s bullshit. For another, it further stigmatizes mental illness. Millions of mentally ill people every day manage to live their lives without hurting a fly (though many mentally ill people are, in fact, hurt and abused by others). And, perhaps most insidious, it absolves society of any blame for helping create abusers.

It is NOT mental illness that makes, for example, a man shoot up a bunch of people because his girlfriend dumped him. It is entitlement. And we need to face the fact that our culture absolutely contributes to teaching men they are entitled to a woman’s attention, affection, body, emotional labor, etc. We celebrate media that repeats the trope that even the most mediocre of man will be rewarded with a beautiful woman that adores him. We talk about the friend-zone as if it’s a real thing and it is something that women unfairly do to victimize men. We tell women that they’re feelings are wrong and they should be flattered by sexual harassment. We legislate that women’s bodies don’t belong to them (and even afford corpses more bodily autonomy than living women). We tolerate misogyny in our music, movies, television, and government. We teach women they are responsible for preventing assault instead of teaching men not to assault. We teach generation after generation that “boys will be boys” and that girls should just tolerate their bad behavior. 

So, yeah. Maybe a lot of us have, in fact, been abused by somebody with a personality disorder. But unless we’re a psychiatrist, we’re not really qualified to comment on that. And we’re shooting ourselves in the proverbial foot when we frame our discussions about abuse in terms from the field of mental health. Because mentally ill or not, abusers will continue to abuse as long as they feel entitled to do so. If we borrow language from psychiatry to frame the conversation around abuse, we make it too easy for everyone to throw their hands up in the air and say “well, we can’t really do anything about it” (especially when talking about disorders that haven’t found successful treatment options).

And that simply isn’t true.

Because, guess what, we CAN do something about abuse. Now, we can’t do much about individual abusers. Only abusers can change themselves. But, and Lundy Bancroft talks at length about this at the end of Why Does He Do That, society and individuals can absolutely do things to combat problems that contribute to abuse and to protect victims. Things like:

BELIEVE VICTIMS. The rate of false accusations of abuse is, despite what MRAs would have us believe, incredibly small. Bancroft says “There is a natural temptation to speak out forcefully against abuse until the man whose behavior is under the microscope is one of our own, and then we switch sides. But we can’t have it both ways. Abuse won’t stop until people stop making exceptions for their own brothers and sons and friends.“ He also says “Nothing would work faster to end the abuse of women than having the friends and family of abusive men stop enabling them. And that begins, in turn, with making sure that you listen carefully and respectfully to her side of the story— something the abusive man never does.” (emphasis mine) 

TEACH WHAT ABUSE LOOKS LIKE. Bancroft specifically advices therapists, the clergy, etc. to “provide some basic education to any male about partner abuse. Give some examples of abusive behaviors, describe their destructive impact on women and children, and explain that a man is entirely responsible for his own actions.” I think a huge aspect of why people discount women’s reports of abuse is that they don’t recognize abusive behavior as, in fact, abusive. This comes back round to entitlement and justification as well as abusers and their allies tendency to point to worse forms of abuse to say “that’s what REAL abuse looks like, what I’ve done isn’t REAL abuse.”

REFORM THE JUSTICE SYSTEM TO BETTER PROTECT VICTIMS AND FORCE ABUSERS TO FACE REAL CONSEQUENCES FOR THEIR ACTIONS. I won’t go into the details on specific changes that need to be made. This post is already super fucking long. You can find Bancroft’s suggestions in Why Does He Do That.

I’d add that we also, as a society, need to:

REFUSE TO SUPPORT MEDIA THAT IS MISOGYNIST. If it promotes the idea that men are entitled to behave in controlling or abusive ways it doesn’t deserve our attention, accolades, or money. We should also stop handing out awards to abusive men as if separating their performances and public persona from their abuse doesn’t teach them (and others) that abusers can abuse without consequence.

CHALLENGE DAMAGING IDEAS AND STATEMENTS. This is particularly important for men to do. If you hear dudes complaining about the friend zone, or celebrating rape culture, or otherwise espousing sexist and harmful ideas, call them out. Make it clear that such views are entirely unacceptable.

LISTEN TO FEMINISTS, SJWs, AND OTHER SO-CALLED SNOWFLAKES. There’s a false notion that when progressives voice concerns or complaints about micro-aggressions or subtle sexism, or whatnot that they’re focusing on small stuff and should just get over it. But the reality is that the small stuff matters. All the various small things add up to a culture that sends abusers the messages of entitlement they use to justify their abuse. Take the Bechtel Test. I recognize it is only one step in beginning to evaluate whether a movie is, in fact, sexist. But, generally speaking, any movie that doesn’t feature enough named, female characters with dialogue about something other than a male character sends the subtle message that women’s roles revolve around the men in their lives. It says that woman are accessories to a man’s story. When feminists call for more women in the writers’ room of television and movies, it goes so far beyond just wanting to level the employment playing field (though that’s important in its own right)! More women contributing to scripts means more well-rounded women characters and less sexist tropes being repeated. It means more boys growing up consuming media in which the world presented to them is not one that revolves around men.

If you’re still with me at this point in this long-ass post I just want to say thank you. I know tumblr is usually a place for more pithy communication. But I go on at length because there is just so much to say that is so important.

That said, here’s a TLDR for those who can’t handle the endless wall of text (I’m ADHD, I can empathize):

The abuse community would do well to create new terminology to discuss our experiences that doesn’t rely on language which may inadvertently harm the mental illness community.

Be patient and kind to abuse victims if you want to talk to them about how something they’ve repeated may be problematic so that you can avoid triggering them or adding to their trauma.

If somebody asks you to reconsider your language, be kind and sympathetic and remember that they may share more of your experiences than you realize. 

Society can do a lot to prevent and combat abuse.

And most importantly let me repeat this:

Mental illness does not make somebody abusive. Don’t let abusers get away with using mental illness as an excuse by perpetuating language that implies otherwise.

[lovehotelreservation]

Love Hotel Reservation - Dessert

Summary: While an advocate for a balanced and nutritious meal, even Ignis was prone to some intense cravings.

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: Reader/Ignis

FINAL MANTASY LEWDTEEN HAS R E A L L Y MADE ME FEEL THE VAPORS AND I LUV IT !

I’m happy to be writing something for this game at last, and I look forward to working on more~! Other than that, I hope you enjoy!

----------------

It was always best to abstain from indulging too much.

While this was a noted piece of advice often given to his fraternal companions—Noctis in regards to sleep, Prompto for his penchant in carelessly spending gil, and Gladiolus’s veritable addiction to instant noodle cups—Ignis still made it a point to lecture you on this as well. Though, there was a bit more of a chance that he would be more lenient when it came to you.

Of course, per the discipline and reservations he exhibited, he made certain to not be hypocritical in his behavior—his adoration for Ebony notwithstanding. Perfection, however, is a continuous process, not an everlasting achievement. Even he was prone to his own indulgences—particularly when you were the treat being savored.

The signs were all there—literally. A short stop in Lestallum to turn in some of the tasks Noctis had accepted, it was also a chance to finally sleep indoors for the first time in days. While the other three went their own way to explore the town—and most likely waste some of the gil provided by Ignis—the two of you were off to pick up groceries for the next slew of nights spent camping.

At a later time, however.

While the two of you were content to be able to continue your relationship as a couple amidst all that had occurred thus far, traveling with three other people—especially your trio in particular--made it considerably difficult to find times to openly express affection. Mainly in that Prompto and Gladiolus were always ready with photo snaps and snappy jeers respectively—maybe even Noctis joining in, assuming he wasn't napping. Though that didn't stop the two of you from sneaking kisses every now and then, or cuddling close towards one another in your tent, it certainly put a halt to further expressions of intimacy.

Rather, it created a hunger that no meal Ignis prepared could satisfy.

Thus, now that the two of you were finally alone together, though you would make certain that this grocery run was still productive, you couldn’t resist directing Ignis off the path from the market. Lestallum had its share of winding back alleys, but as you had learned from a discreet flyer, this one led to a different market. Or rather, it led to a hotel that offered different amenities than the Leville. While not the most classy or ideal of facilities—as Ignis would have preferred to have nothing short of the best top-notch suite available for your pleasure—it was a space, a time for the two of you to finally mingle as one without worry of being interrupted or overheard.

Though you may have been the one to first notice the flyer and bring it to his attention, it was clear that Ignis's longing for you may have been far more severe than expected, if given by his swift and hushed exchange to rent the room, conversation too low for you to hear.

Upon the exchange of gil and receiving the room key, his hand took yours, leading you to the first and closest room. Inside, the walls were painted with a pastel pink, the furnishings in colors of similar yet contrasting hues, all reminiscent of desserts. However, neither of you had much time to check out the room and its amenities fully. The next two hours reserved were going to be made the most out of until the very last second.

Nevertheless, you couldn’t resist commenting, “A dessert theme? How sweet of you, Iggy.”

Ignis hummed while pushing his glasses up his nose, his voice low and tinted with amusement while he removed his gloves--even using his teeth to assist in loosening the leather from his index fingers, “This experience is intended as a treat, after all.”

If the real reason was due to all the other available options being remarkably seedier by comparison, it went left unsaid, the banter cut short by warm fingers against your cheek and lips crushing to yours in barely restrained hunger.

Perhaps now he understood why Prompto was always so whiny when it came to meals finally being completed and ready to serve.

Neither of you were fully undressed, especially Ignis, as he remained in his dress shirt and pants. The same couldn't be said for you, however, your clothes pushed and moved aside just enough to expose exactly what your lover wanted to tease and touch. As much as he wanted to run his palms over and press against the exposed skin of your chest, he used his hands for a more preferable reason.

While your back arched off of the bed as your torso squirmed around, your thighs were kept spread wide apart, unable to thrash and wiggle about with Ignis grabbing and squeezing them so firmly, holding them in place. With how long it had been, there was absolutely no way he would allow for anything to disrupt his savoring of this particular treat.

As much as he wished to exhibit more self-control—to not be reduced to the whims of a ravenous appetite—Ignis couldn't resist. You sated his hunger in a way that he could never get enough of. While noisiness at the dinner table was enough for his shoulders and expression to turn rigid with disgust, he could not help himself from the sounds he was making: the hungry, quick flicks of his tongue, the deliberate and longing suction of his lips, and even his own groans as his mouth indulged in your taste.

For however many times he had admonished Noctis for his poor diet, Ignis was shamelessly addicted to your sweetness. In the same way he was always happy to prepare a second helping, he looked forward to more of what you would provide for him during this particular feast—with him just as eager to give you the same and more.

The look of ecstasy on your face, the sounds of utter pleasure escaping your lips. Oh, how he wished to cater to you until the end of time.

Surely enough, he soon had his fill of your taste, a long, deep hunger that was sated once your hips lifted up against his mouth as a noiseless cry flew out from your lips. His tongue slowly trailed over his lips, expression calm yet immensely satisfied—he even couldn't resist the small smirk that slid onto his features as he eyed the way you were sprawled across the bed. The rise of your chest with every heavy breath, your face as pink as the room's soft neon lighting, your lips parted as a babble of whimpers and pleas for more spilled forth.

As someone who lived to serve, Ignis—for once in absolutely no mood to tease—reached for the buttons of his dress shirt, undoing them with graceful swiftness while doing the same for his belt, all the while his eyes bore into yours, never once breaking.

“I hope you are ready for seconds, darling.”

One shouldn't eat dessert without the main course, after all.