#and so i've spent a lot of time 'playing catch up' and trying to prove to everybody who accepted their offers that hey im not a total loser

[wttcsms]

full fledged concept coming soon but long story short: hallmark movie-esque concept ft. finance girlie that's going through it & heads back to her childhood hometown she's spent most of her life trying to run from x the boy she used to beef with all throughout high school who is now running a successful business - the onigiri shop that is the only place hiring in the general vicinity.

osamu miya x reader, childhood nemeses to awkward boss/employee to friends to lovers 🤭

general things to tackle in here: what happens when we prioritize what other people's perceptions of success is over what makes you feel happy and fulfilled, getting off on the wrong foot (and then continuing to have that same foot be the one in ur mouth) every time you interact with the person who's literally your soulmate, vanity is so overrated (you grapple with going from six figure salary corporate girlie to literal fast food cashier), realizing that "starting over" can be either the worst or the best thing to happen to you in life, don't be mean to the boy next door - he might grow up to be a super hot business owner... and your future employer

[hyunjilicious]

most to least kinky [skz ver.]

A/n: this has probably been done a million times before but I thought I could make my own list, right?

Warnings: this isn't full on smut, but A LOT of things are mentioned (from slapping to ass eating to crying to cnc) I can't possibly mention them all. Needless to say, this is strictly 18+, please proceed with caution!!!!

Disclaimer: I'm sorry. I'm incredibly sorry, ok? I don't understand Seungmin 😭😭 I absolutely love him with all my heart, but he's a mystery to me. I've also only been in this fandom for a few months so maybe with time I'll be able to write for him but until then, I'll just keep apologising to my Minnie biased readers for doing their baby dirty. I'm sorry, I promise I'm trying!! 🥺

Please let me know what you thought and if you have other ideas!! I'd love to hear different opinions!!!

1. Lee Know 

Do I even have to explain? At this point, you could basically write an entire encyclopedia only using the stuff this man is into - he knows it all and wants to try it all. The thing is, whether he trusts you enough or not, because if he's too shy to bring up the one thing that's on his mind, he'll bombard you with hints, hoping he'd "manipulate" you into mentioning it first. Not that he'd ever do anything you're not 100% comfortable with, but he'd much rather you be the one who asks. He'd slap your ass, bite it, mark it, grope it, eat your pussy from behind and send you porn links - all while hoping you'd finally get the idea and ask him to eat your ass. Because he's shy like that. But once you do catch on and tell him about it, he's all in. 

And then, as he grows more comfortable around you, all these little games you two play will slowly start to shift. His main priority will always be you, but with time, his teasing nature will replace the old Minho you used to have sex with, and literally everything this man does will be about driving you insane. 

He'd make you beg, whine, crawl on your knees, hump pillows - hump his leg, just so you can prove yourself, only to deny you again, always with a grin on his face. A loving smile as he looks at you, right before he throws a very swift "No" in your face and makes you start over. You have to be spent, exhausted, dumb and drunk on him before he finally gives you what you want. But when he finally does, it's everything you ever wanted and more because he doesn't.hold.back.

2. Jeongin

To be fair, it might be because he had to go through the "Watch your mouth, there's a child in our grup!" phase, which - cute and all, got old very fast. Maybe this side of him would have never surfaced like this, but you can't possibly know, there's only one Jeongin and he's a meanie. He's stern, he's serious and there's only one way, his. 

He takes the safe word very seriously because otherwise, he doesn't take no for an answer. There's no "too much", "too hard", "too fast". He doesn't care. He knows you can take it and you have to. 

You don't move, he moves you. If you don't shut up when he tells you to, it's 'ass up, face down into the pillow' - no questions, no warnings. 

It all starts nicely, though. His good little girl, his angel, who needs to do absolutely everything she's told otherwise his punishments will be downright cruel and you'll be nothing more than a "dumb, fucking whore" until he's done with you. 

One thing that makes him draw the line though, is crying. He loves to see little tears at the corner of your eyes as he fucks you into oblivion, just so he can mock you for it, "Oh, is my sweet, little baby crying?" and then go faster. But if you let out anything more than a cute, little sob, or if you start actually crying, even though you're still down to keep going, he won't. He can't. He's cruel, but not that cruel, it hurts his heart to see you like that and absolutely never lets things get that far.

3. Felix

This man is into… everything. His eyes light up every single time there's something new for you two to try, and he puts his whole soul into it. 

On one hand, he's into the basics - he goes crazy for your tits, will lick, bite, suck and eat anything off of them (absolutely adores eating cream off your body, but yeah, your tits are his favorite spot). He loves lingerie, loves ripping it off of you, loves seeing you dress up, pretend to be a nurse, a teacher or the girl next-door who just so happened to leave the window open. 

Doesn't have a daddy kink but he's just so obsessed with doing absolutely anything for you, he'd go with it. Most likely prefers 'Sir' but it isn't a must. Will melt and cry if you allow him to fall you 'Mommy'

The definition of a switch. When he's a dom, 90% of the time he's soft, full of praises and encouragements, loves making you feel all safe and loved as you degrade yourself for him. He'll whisper in your ear the absolute sweetest, most loving words you ever heard in your entire life, all while completely breaking you in half with his cock. But also, there are times when there's just one way for him to relax and let loose, and during those days, he's lazy and he's condescending, judgy and a little bit mean, and these are the absolute worst moments for you to be brat. 

But all of these are only half of him, because this man is probably the most dedicated and enthusiastic sub in the world. He'll do absolutely everything he's told and then beg for more. Way too eager to humiliate himself for you. Also very, very vocal, he'll cry, whine and beg and will also never fail to let you know just how obsessed he is with worshiping the ground you walk on. 

4. Chan

Also a switch, but it takes months, if not more, for you guys to get there. He's a leader by nature, used to having a lot of responsibilities and a lot of control over the things around him. He likes to be in charge, knows how to do it, and loves the responses he gets. Probably one of the best doms out there because even though you have a safe word, he's so fucking careful with you at all times that he knows to slow down before you even have to think about using it. It only happened once, and your voice still rings in his head - he still hasn't forgiven himself for it. 

But since he's so observant and trusts you to put a stop to whatever is going on in case you need to, he feels free to go crazy. Unlike Jeongin, he likes to hear you cry, likes knowing he has that power over you and the fact you know how easy it is for him to absolutely wreck and ruin you, but still allow him to go crazy, drives him wild. Trust is probably what gets him off the most, he absolutely adores how you give up control and leave yourself at his mercy. 

But then again, as your relationship strengthens and he slowly realizes that maybe he doesn't always have to be the one to do it all, that others can take care of him too, that he can actually let loose and renounce all control, you start to see another side of him. 

He's an exemplary sub, not one brat bone in his body. He tries sometimes to test you, but he goes back to being doe eyed and whiny for you in no time. He's not as vocal and not as eager to let all his enthusiasm show, but just like Felix, he'll do absolutely anything you tell him, and then thank you for allowing him to do it. 

5. Han

Another switch. He can be a dom and he can be a sub, but I think there are two other sides of him. This man will go back and forth between being the absolute, most cocky motherf on the planet, to being absolutely wiped and wrapped around your finger. And while these for aspects of him can pair up in any way, leaving you with a teasing dom, a loving and soft one, or a bratty sub that will try to make you prove to him just how badly you need him to worship you and so on, I think he's not always like this.

You can't really tell whether there's a pattern, but maybe if you spent more time together you'd be able to spot one. Maybe it depends on how his day went, how tired he is, how his social batteries are like at the moment, but I think there are many, many days when this man just needs to feel you, to smell you, hear you. To collapse into the sheets with you, forget about the world and melt in your arms. Yeah, he's down to try a lot of stuff, but what he loves the most are the simple things. Like missionary late at night, with the lights on so he can see every glimmer of anything in your eyes, to wipe the sweat off your temples and to be able to smother you with kisses. Impromptu sex in the morning, lazy sex in the shower, cuddling that turns into you riding him on the couch while watching a movie. That's what I think he's into the most.

6. Changbin

Thank god this man is not the kinkiest because he'd probably break you in half and no amount of aftercare would be able to fix that. This man goes hard. No matter if you're the one that woke him up, all needy and clingy, or if he came home riled and ready to go, he's already ready to give you his all. That dumptruck isn't there for nothing, he doesn't even have to try that hard to make you scream. 

But it's not just physical, he goes all out in all ways. He doesn't just want you on your back, legs spread open so he can eat you out, no, you have to be on his face, full weight down on top of him, and you have to ride. Other than that, you don't really have to do much, because he's a sucker for handling you. He'll hold up your weight when he fucks you against the dresser and he doesn't mind being the one who gets rid of all the clothes in the way when he randomly decides he wants to fuck you bent over the kitchen table. 

So I don't think he needs much more than you two already have. Of course, he's usually fine with trying things you're into, and yeah, he likes them, but that's just more like 'fun' to him. He's not the kind to call you degrading names or spank you until you cry, through he might enjoy a little bit too much seeing his hand print on your ass or the bruises he left on your hips just from hard he was holding onto you while fucking you into oblivion.

Out of all the things you'd get him to try, I think one of his favorites would be wax play. He'll probably ask you to do it again, maybe like 3 months later. Also, one other thing that gets him going and that he still might be shy about it, is just how hard his cock twitched when you called him daddy. Oops. I don't like it, please do it again.

7. Seungmin 

Ok, again, disclaimer with this one. I wanna start by apologizing to Minnie and to all the Minnie biased readers that are here with us today, but I can't read this man. At all. And that's the reason I put him so low on the list because while I do have some ideas, associating him with certain kinks and stuff felt completely empty to me. Like I have no idea what he'd like? But in case you've read this far, lemme tell you what I did manage to come up with and please let me know how you see it!!

I think trust, communication and fun are the most important to him. I feel like he'd have so much fun guiding you and giving you instructions on how to do different things, from how to suck him off just the way he needs it, to how to use a toy on yourself. And I think it goes both ways, he'd love to have you tell exactly how and what to do at all times.

I also think he can be stern and commanding, serious and totally focused, but he also probably adores being a giggling mess, unable to control himself as you give him your all, worship him and make him feel absolutely cherished. I'm sorry, but I feel like this man thrives on love and appreciation. Other than that, my brain is empty, please help me!!

8. Hyunjin

Ok, maaaaybe I shouldn't have put him last. But fuck it. Sue me. I don't think he's kinky at all. I think that again, he'd be the type to try out most of the things you come up with, but I don't think he associates them with sex like that. I think it's just some form of fun you two have, I don't think there are too many crazy things that necessarily get him going. 

He's a romantic, ok? His main goal is pleasure. He's the kind to absolutely not give a shit about anything, all that he needs is you. If he has you and a surface (not even mandatory) he's satisfied. He'll do absolutely anything, worship every single inch of your body. The kind to kiss his way up your leg before eating you out, to kiss you before you even finished swallowing his cum. Nothing to him is gross, to him, bodies are beautiful and made to be worshiped. He'd paint your body, lay back and allow you to do absolutely anything you want to him, he's just full of want and passion. 

I don't think he'd ever be the kind of person to associate pain or humiliation with pleasure. Like he knows they're valid kinks and will not shame anyone about it, but with him, you have to feel like the most beautiful woman in the world, loved, cradled and appreciated in absolutely every way. 

Absolutely the type to eat your ass and then be like "What? People don't do that?". Doesn't think spitting in each other's mouths is degrading because, "We literally kiss all the time, what?" 

Will ask you to slap him just to see what it's like but will probably malfunction if you ask him to do it to you. 

I think he'd be down for a lot of stuff, but doesn't see any of them as kinks. Doesn't need any of them. They don't get him hard. It's all just for fun. 

Please let me know what you thought!! I'd love to talk about this!!! ❤️

[sapphic-agent]

Saw your thing about mha rewrites, thought i'd throw my hat in the ring. I've had a fic in mind for a while now that involved keeping midoriya quirkless, but instead of him just waiting for a quirk to happen, he'd actually been taking martial arts classes and such in preperation ( something that i find baffling that it didnt happen in canon) where the main issue for Izuku is pushing himself to far to prove a point. but in this, he distances from bakugou, the martial arts training giving him a better sense of self-esteem or atleast a better sense of where his energy is best spent. I plan to try to focus more on the ORIGINAL trio, uraraka, Izuku, and Iida....and i wanna give uraraka OFA bc i think playing around with what improved gravity manipulation could do. i think she'd get it after the torunament arc. Given how smart Midoriya was shown to be early on, I figure he'd make a lot of use of gadgets. infrared goggles, bo staff, head gear for better threat detection, and other possible improvements that he figures out throughout the year. All Might in this basically supports Midoriya's dream by providing the funding for the needed suit and gear. and instead of HIM having the iron man suit with everyones quriks somehow....lets give that to Midoriya, to represent his entier class pushing him forward as a symbol of hope for anyone who thinks they cant be a hero just bc their quirk sucks, or bc they dont have one. Nedzu is the traitor instead of aoyama, bc hes playing a game of 5d chess with AFO and knows once allmight loses his power, everythings going to go to shit, so he engineers events to happen at school with the lov to force the students to where they will have to be to survive the dark times to come. ie, doing a horrible thing, but he believes he has a solid reason for doing so. Bakugou loses to uraraka in the tournament. seeing midoriya so sucsessful without a quirk has made him impatient and desperate to prove himself so he goes at uraraka full boar. now, im not going to make this an insta win, that just dosent feel right, BUT this loss will be the second in a series of losses for bakugou to start going ' what am I doing wrong?' one of the other losses being that Midoriya completes the test with him and bakugou fighting allmight, but with Bakugou unconcious bc like in canon, dude flew off the handle and tried to solo the worlds strongest hero, while Midoriya was more tacticle in his approach. subsequently....bakugou dosent get kidnapped by the Lov, Midoriya does bc they think ' hey this kid is quirkless we can get him to turn' and its bakugou that fails to save Midoriya bc the students that failed their exam were all asleep during the time of the attack of the training camp. he wakes up and comes up short of saving the day, bc he blew his chance of victory. but heres the problem. i have the first couple chapters hammered out...but this is all a lot, and theres so much more that i know is either going to need to be covered. like the hero comercialization, the hero system relying solely on allmight to keep things in check, the lack of proper aid to those with quirks that would require some extra guidance etc. I have the idea....but the idea of writting all of it feels daunting to say the least XD if youd like i could also ramble more on other points i have in mind for this fic idea

Ngl, this sounds really good. OFA!Uraraka isn't something I see often, it's nice to see her get some love. Izuku working hard to become a hero on his own merit is always nice to see, and we love supportive All Might. I'm a firm believer that if Izuku had asked at any other time All Might would have given him a different answer. Izuku just happened to catch him when he was in a place of self-loathing and immeasurable chronic pain.

No, it doesn't excuse his actions. But it's realistic. He also tried to suggest that Izuku seek out a similar dream, like becoming a cop so it wasn't like he said what he did out of malice.

Also, don't be afraid to completely rewrite Horikoshi's terrible canon system! It's filled with a ton of contradictions and inconsistencies anyway so if you need to change it all to make sense, 100% go for it

[dewitty1]

Fic Recs Wrap Up December 2023 ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊˚･*:.｡.♡⑅୨୧̩̩̩̥✼• .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*☆

All Things Go by iota @sorrybutblog

Draco’s back at Hogwarts by court order. Harry’s back for no particular reason at all. Some things change, some stay the same. Neither expects to spend eighth-year living in close quarters, playing rugby (poorly), staying up late, sneaking around, and finally figuring it all out. Rec Post

The Inconvenient Death(s) of Harry Potter by nv-md (ANW815) @nv-md

Harry and Draco have spent the decade since the War avoiding each other, even as they’re forced to work together at the Ministry and their friend groups begin to alarmingly overlap. But what happens when Harry meets a tragic end (in a manner of speaking) and Draco’s the only one who can save him? Or Harry won’t stop dying, Draco’s had too much coffee, and there’s more than enough time for them to make a mess of each other’s lives. Rec Post

Constellations on your skin by shushu_yaoi_lj @orange-peony

“I’m going to get my scars removed,” Draco announces on a rainy Wednesday afternoon. “Who are you seeing?” Blaise asks. “The best Healer out there,” Draco replies with a little shrug. “Harry Potter.” Rec Post

and the world is tumbling down by thewakeless @thewakeless

Draco is thirty-five and content. He’s a writer, a painter, and has built a life for himself totally separate from the one he envisioned as a sullen, fearful boy at Hogwarts. Everything is calm—until his house begins trying to kill him. Rec Post

The Cursed Manor by AhaMarimbas @mars-bar81

Ophelia’s been a paranormal investigator for almost ten years, and she’s starting to run out of haunted and cursed sites to explore. When her eclectic roommate and assistant reveals that he owns a large, cursed Manor, Ophelia finds a lot more than just a new career opportunity. Rec Post

The Unknown Door by waterwings @amywaterwings

There is something wrong with the Bellcrest. The heart of the place beats rotten. Everyone says so. Where Draco is a magical property manager, Harry is a recluse, and they’re definitely not hiding from their problems in the run-down flats of the Bellcrest. Not at all. Not one bit. Rec Post

Keep Your Brittle Heart Warm by flightinflame @flightinflame

Eighth-year offers Draco a brief respite before he returns to Azkaban. With a restricted wand, and memories of a girl who shouldn’t exist, he has very little hope for the future. But when Harry brings Teddy into the school, and proves to be utterly clueless, things change beyond anything he could imagine. Rec Post

Historians by oknowkiss @oknowkiss

It’s the Dumbledore’s Army Reunion Holiday, and Harry’s found himself in hot water with his friends once again, after telling them he has a boyfriend he definitely does not have. In an attempt to fix things, he’s made it his colleague on Level Nine, Draco Malfoy’s problem too. Featuring a ski chalet in Switzerland, a pair of bunk beds, and an agreement that should’ve been simple, were it not for all the bloody feelings getting in the way. Rec Post

Here are a few more fics I've read recently that y'all might like to check out as well!(ノﾟ∀ﾟ)ノ━☆ﾟ･*:.｡. .｡.:*･.*･｡ﾟ*:・ﾟ✧

Draco's First Holiday by Meowfoy @resilientkitteh

Draco catches Blaise cheating, breaks up with him and decides to leave his French Villa behind to swap houses with a woman named Hermione and her husband Ron. His relaxing vacation becomes far more interesting when a handsome stranger (Harry) knocks at his door in the middle of the night. They meet and get to know each other, and suddenly Draco feels much better about his decision to leave France behind for Britain.

Englishman Extraordinaire by BlueSundayCake @bluesundaycake

When Draco's life goes to shit, he gets scammed. Maybe it's for the best. Who doesn't love new beginnings?

Letters by CoffeeDragon87 @coffeedragon87

When Harry Potter turned eleven he received a letter that changed his life forever. When Harry Potter, now a dashingly handsome bachelor, Head of the Auror Department and loving godfather, is thirty-five history repeats itself.

With and Without You by Shewhxmustnxtbenamed @shewhomustnotbenamed

Harry and Draco realize that they’ve been living in the same building for the past five years, hiding from the Wizarding world in Muggle London for a variety of reasons. They grow unexpectedly close and Harry realizes that Draco’s relationship with his boyfriend is abusive, spiraling as he tries and fails to figure out how to help. In Harry’s rejection of the Wizarding world in general, he has fallen out of touch with his friends and his magical abilities, but has to reconnect with both in order to find himself again.

( •ॢ◡-ॢ)-♡ I hope you enjoy these fics as much as I have! Happy reading, y’all & I hope 2024 is good to you! Happy New Year! xoxo Carey  (◍•ᴗ•◍)♡ ✧*💜💙💚💛❤💗💕💖

[sunbearsophia]

*blows the dust off my tumblr*

Been a hot minute since I posted art here, so here, have some Matt/Anna content! Or, as I'm starting to take to calling their ship, MirrorGlasses! ^^

Def need to talk about them more, because second to only Eduarel, they're my second favorite ship. I'm really sad we haven't seen her in later Eddsworld media, but Anna seemed like a neat lil' side character in her and Matt's comic arc, and they seemed like an adorable couple! (Even if it did turn out they were faking for Edd and Tom.)

---

So, yeah, def in my Eddsworld universe, they started out the same way, Matt hiring Anna to play the role of his girlfriend to prove to the others that he could be in a relationship and pretty sick of the "dating a mirror" jokes. Anna was happy to play the part, because she liked having an extra bit of cash, but also thought the idea of playing a smoopy-woopy girlfriend sounded fun, and a lot easier than her real relationships had been up until then. (I imagine she probably didn't end up in the happiest relationships prior to Matt, which wasn't... great for her self-esteem, which was already pretty poor thanks to her parents.)

However, the more time they spent together, the more it felt natural to them. It stopped being an act after a while, they found the things they did in front of Tom and Edd, like holding hands, giving cute nicknames and compliments, warmly embracing, talking about their lives and hopes and dreams, just generally enjoying being around one another, it... it wasn't something they had to pretend to enjoy. They did those things when no one was watching.

Matt didn't realize at first what was happening, just assuming Anna was a great actress and he was just... y'know, pretty in-deep with the whole thing. Anna, however, got hit with the realization that, "oh no, i've fallen for this cute, silly man aaaaaa"

Maybe later on, after narrowly avoiding a close call with the boys catching them NOT acting all cute, Matt sighs in relief their cover wasn't blown, and commends Anna for her own acting skills, his friends genuinely seem so convinced they're actually in love!

And at that moment, Anna just seems... hurt. She's not upset at Matt since they're not really in a relationship, it's just... she'd honestly forgotten they weren't. She was convinced, or at least convinced herself that after a string of bad relationships, she'd found someone who loves her for her, and that his acting wasn't acting anymore, like her.

But she understands, it's okay. He had no real romantic obligations to her, she knows it's selfish to be upset when they've both made it clear that it's all an act. They're not in a real relationship... Matt could do better than her anyways. He's such a kind, sweet, silly and handsome man, and she's just... well, she doesn't feel she'd actually measure up, anyways.

However, she does ask him after that if they can end the facade, she doesn't really want to keep it up anymore. Matt is taken aback, wondering if it was something he said, and Anna assures him it's not, it's just that even though this has been fun... some of the most fun and wonderful times of her life, really, she doesn't really wanna keep pretending they're in a relationship- keep him in a pretend relationship- if they're not. He deserves to find a real partner, who gives him all the love and joy he deserves. She just doesn't... want to be in the way of that for him.

Matt is just completely shocked and worried, already seeing her low self-esteem show its face and tries to at least figure out if he said something or did something to hurt her, and convince her she's not "in his way," but... doesn't want to keep her in a fake relationship if she's not happy or comfortable. The two agree to end things, and mutually part ways... with both fighting back tears.

Later, similarly to what happened in the actual arc, Matt tells the gang they broke up, but doesn't really take to their attempts to get his mind off of it, just trying to make sense of it to himself. Tom's no good with this mushy stuff, so Edd sits down with a cola for them both to try and talk to him. Matt doesn't reveal it was them fake dating, but does express a lot of his sadness, genuinely asking Edd why it hurts so much, knowing it's over. And Edd, just trying to be a good and supportive friend, is just like, "Well, y'know, it's because you loved her, right?"

That's when it finally hits Matt at a million miles an hour. He... He does love Anna. He really, truly loves her. And she loved him, and... and...

Oh, no, he's made a terrible mistake.

Quickly rushing out the door faster than Edd can ask where he's going, he practically makes a break for Anna's apartment building, determined to try and make things right, to tell her it was all real to him. Once he finally makes it, it hurts to see her open the door, as he's greeted by a pair of sad, puffy eyes that had clearly been crying for hours, and a hoarse, but genuine, "... Hey."

She lets him in, and the two genuinely do have a heart-to-heart where Matt apologizes for rubbing in the fact that they were fake dating, never meaning to hurt her genuine, real feelings. Anna explains he doesn't need to apologize, she knows full and well he'd never hurt her and it wasn't even really that. She admits that yes, she does have feelings for him, but she knows their relationship wasn't and never was real, and she doesn't want Matt to pretend to like her for others, or for her. He's a wonderful person who'll find an equally wonderful person for him, and she doesn't want to hold him back from that, when she's not close to good enough for him-

Matt stops her right there, refusing to let her talk badly about herself. She has absolutely no idea how amazing she truly is, how beautiful, funny, nerdy, patient and loving she is, and how every moment he's spent with her has been some of the best of his life. He knows he messed it up, but he won't stand by while the woman he loves talks badly about her...

It only just then hits Matt what he said out loud, and Anna, with wide, hopeful, teary eyes asked him to repeat that, and he, a tad sheepish and blushing, gently reaffirms that yeah... he loves her.

Cue her grabbing him by his overcoat collar and bringing him in for their first kiss on the lips, which Matt just absolutely melts into reciprocating.

Edd and Tom are equally confused by the next day, seeing the pair apparently back to dating, only this time, they're more genuine, and not as insistent on acting all lovey dovey around them...

Just kidding, they end up acting even mushier as a genuine couple, genuinely and blissfully in love. All's well that ends well! (Except for Tom, who needs to keep nausea pills on hand anytime Anna's around, or Matt even brings her up, bleh.)

---

BONUS HEADCANONS THAT I'VE WRITTEN FOR FUNSIES:

I've mentioned this on Twitter, but in case I forgot to mention it here, I headcanon that Anna is the youngest sibling in Mark's family. (They have an oldest sister, Loretta, who's Balloon Head Fred's wife, then Blonzie, then Mark, then finally her.) Mark isn't... pleased with the situation that his beloved little sister is dating his dumbass rival from next door, nor confident in the fact that Matt genuinely loves her for her, and not just playing some cruel joke on him through her. Plus, with all the dangerous shit they get into on a regular basis, Mark doesn't like the idea of Matt putting her in harm's way, especially after how toxic and unloving her previous relationships were, the last thing Mark wants to see is his little sister getting hurt. The two already had a tense relationship before, but after Matt and Anna start dating for real, him and Mark really don't get along. Anna appreciates her older brother's concern for her but doesn't take kindly to him insulting her sweet and loving boyfriend, and assures him she can take care of herself. Similarly, she'll shut down Matt if he says something bad or insulting about her brother, reminding him that Mark is just looking out for her and that's her brother and she loves him. I definitely think as their relationship goes on, Matt and Mark slowly get along better and better, realizing that if they agree on nothing else, they both love Anna, and want her to be happy. Ultimately, Mark decides that if Matt loves Anna, if he makes her happy and feeling like she's loved and worthy of being loved, then that's really all he needs. Guess he stans now lol.

Love the idea that even before they officially start dating, Matt and Anna end up being really close confidantes, and are able to confide things to one another they can't with most people, even the ones they're closest to. I think Matt is a gentle voice of encouragement and support when it comes to Anna's depression and low self-esteem, consistently reminding her of the things he loves about her, and Anna, in turn, is just as gentle with Matt's metal health and self-image, reassuring him he doesn't need to constantly put on a brave or happy face for her, he can be and feel whatever he wants around her. They're just a mutual space of love and understanding for one another.

They absolutely indulge in each other's hobbies and interests, no matter how bad they are at it. Someone once mentioned a headcanon about Anna at least having an interest in rebuilding computers, which I LOVE and am rolling with, she's def a computer technician and could genuinely ramble for hours about it, which Matt loves to hear and engage with. She teaches him the ins and puts of computer systems and parts, he teaches her about hair care (I dun like the EW Fan Movie, but Matt being a hairdresser is a fun idea!) and ABSOLUTELY involves her in his cooking. He doesn't mind that her cooking is the equivalent of rat poison, he lives doing it with her and always encourages and praises her attempts.

SPEAKING OF COOKING, I like to think Matt, the first time he visited her apartment, noticed a lot of takeout bags and cups and boxes in the trash, and not a lot of dishes in general. Anna jokes it's just because she can't cook for shit anyways, but it's also because she's just generally too depressed to make the effort most days, something Matt recognizes without her needing to say it. He decides right there on the spot that no, this won't do, and cooks her dinner right then and there so she has something a bit more substantial. She insists that he didn't have to go to that trouble, but... she might sniffle a bit and genuinely thanks him, for doing that for her, it means a lot that he's looking out for her. (Also she realizes he's a fucking AWESOME chef girl you gotchu a catch aaaa)

I think that Anna is kinda the type of person who copes with her depression with humor, and tends to make a lot of dark jokes at her own expense. She always found it easier to do with friends, her siblings would always get really concerned and she didn't wanna worry them, and after all her experience with her parents, bad friendships and probably previous relationships, she figured no one else cared enough to point it out. Matt, however, is VERY quick to get worried the more she talks down about herself, and it's not long before he brings it up directly and gently, but genuinely asks her to stop, taking her by the hands and looking far more serious than normal. He thinks she's perfect in every way, and her insulting herself or insinuating the world is better off without her isn't funny at all, he can't bear to imagine a world without her, and he doesn't want her to do the same. she's definitely taken by surprise, unused to anyone aside from her siblings trying to cut that out, and unused to being told the world is a better place with her in it. she probably laughs a little, before softly crying for a bit in Matt's arms, since she feels safe doing that with him.

Matt definitely helps encourage her in the best and most gentle ways to help handle her depression. He's not overbearing about it at all, but genuinely wants to help if he can. He'll take her to outside areas for dates so she can get some sunshine and fresh air, probably invites her to go jogging or practicing yoga with him, teach her different, easy recipes to make herself dinner and definitely takes on making it himself if she needs, and always reminds her how beautiful, wonderful and loved she is. (Maybe anytime he stays over at her apartment, he'll do cute little things like fold her laundry and make her lunch, all the while hiding little notes for her like Easter Eggs with things about her he loves and wants to remind her of. Peak boyfriend material there aaaa)

Anna, meanwhile, I genuinely do believe is encouraged by Matt's love and help, and tries to do better and be more self-reliant thanks to his support. Her self-esteem challenges are definitely a fight, but she knows she's not doing it alone, which makes everyday a little easier. Likewise, I think she's constantly doing the same for him, giving him organization tactics to help with his hording problem, reminding him, as well, every chance she gets what she loves about him, supporting him in all his hyperfixations, and will throw some verbal hands at anyone who dares try and even imply he's not smart. ("Idiot, huh? Awful big words for someone who blew up half of London because he hated Christmas, isn't it, Thomas?")

I like to imagine their ideas for genuine dates are pretty different, like Matt, even when he's not pretending to be "couply-wouply" with Anna, loves big, romantic dates like fancy dinner, dancing, walks on the beach under the moon, basically he's a hopeless romantic kinda guy. Anna, meanwhile, will gladly go along with it, especially when they were trying to sell the idea of them being a couple, but actually appreciates smaller scale dates, like picnics, going on walks through the neighborhood, and just ordering pizza and watching a bad movie together. I think Anna gets better as their relationship progresses communicating this to Matt, who ofc doesn't want her to do anything she's not comfortable with, and they def end up more balanced with their date ideas, and come to genuinely enjoy eachother's date types as much as their own. (Matt had always planned to propose to Anna with some big, romantic date and gesture, but ultimately, he ended up asking her while they were just cuddled on the couch together. qwq)

They eventually have kids! These are my designs for the little half-vampire ankle biters lol:

[blueindigo17]

WIP intro: The Together List

An introduction to my second WIP!!

Pinterest board -> The Together List

Spotify playlist -> The Together List

Summary: Audrey is in her first month of college. Within three weeks, she’s moved out of her childhood bedroom and into a room with a window that seems to open on its own and a door that creaks loud enough to wake up the whole floor, she’s stumbled into a friend group that seemed to pull itself together like drawstrings, and she’s gotten a job at an adorable independent milkshake shop with her roommate and one of her new friends. What more could she possibly ask for?

The world, it seems.

Audrey has a list ten miles long of all the little things she wants college to be. One night, she starts listing them out loud. Her friends—Logan, Lennon, McKinley, Aspen, and Levi—chime in with their own after a moment, and before anyone knows it it’s been three hours and they haven’t stopped. They aren’t even sure whose idea it is, but they start writing it down. Every box on this ridiculously decorated list will be checked off by the end of the year, they swear.

Someone makes an Instagram account as a joke, but by the first post it’s become as serious an endeavor as they’ve ever had. They wouldn’t call themselves local celebrities, but they certainly wouldn’t correct you if you did. The thing about fame at this age, even at small amounts, is that it's bound to go to someone's head...

Genres: realistic fiction, young adult fiction, new adult fiction, coming of age, LGBTQ+ fiction

Themes: LGBTQ+, friendships, fame, college, becoming an adult, relationships

Character Introductions

(all photos found on Pinterest)

Audrey Abigail Marshall 💙

"So make the friendship bracelets, take the moment and taste it. You've got no reason to be afraid." - You're On Your Own Kid, Taylor Swift

Age: 19

Gender: female

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: pansexual

Birthday: May 16th

Star sign: Taurus

Friends: Logan, Lennon, McKinley, Aspen, Levi

Family: Julia (mom), Adam (dad), Trevor (younger brother, 16)

Occupation: barista at a milkshake shop, college freshman (studying education and sociology)

Fun facts: she was named after Audrey Hepburn

Audrey spent the past year trying to learn more about herself. "Did it work?" you ask. Nope! Now she's moving into her college dorm a year later than her high school classmates, and she can feel the desire to catch up burning in her veins. She claws at every opportunity to prove that she wasn't wasting her time this past year. She would probably do well to realize who she's trying to prove herself to...

Logan Olivia Levine 🧡

"I don't want the world, but I'll take this city. Who can blame a girl? Call me hot, not pretty." - HOT TO GO!, Chappell Roan

Nicknames: Lo, Halo

Age: 19

Gender: female

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: lesbian, asexual spectrum

Birthday: July 25th

Star sign: Leo

Friends: Audrey, Lennon, McKinley, Aspen, Levi

Family: Katherine (mom), Richard (dad), Carter (older brother, 21), Danny (older brother, 24), Jordan (older brother, 26), Noelle (sister in law, 26)

Occupation: barista at a milkshake shop, college freshman (studying psychology and sociology), part time middle/high school tutor

Fun facts: she asked Disneyland Rapunzel to marry her when she was seven years old

Logan knows what she's good at, including but not limited to: decorating her lecture notes, pulling off outlandishly oversaturated outfits, and making things fun. The Together List is such a Logan idea she's appalled that she didn't think of it first, but once it takes off, she's thriving. This is the most fun she's ever had. Until the real world catches up, people lash out at each other, and she has no clue where she stands. She has a lot of love in her body, but figuring out what to do with it is way harder than she expected...

Lennon Lillienne Adler 💛

"Quick pause in conversation, she plays songs I've never heard." - Canyon Moon, Harry Styles

Nicknames: Lemon, Lemons

Age: 19

Gender: female(ish) (her words)

Pronouns: she/her/they/them

Sexuality: asexual, heteromantic

Birthday: November 19th

Star sign: Scorpio

Friends: Audrey, Logan, McKinley, Aspen, Levi

Family: Ariana (mom), Jonathan (dad)

Occupation: college freshman (studying photography and cinematography), campus library assistant

Fun facts: she’s Australian, they have a cat named Spritz

Lennon is about as far from home as she can get. They’ve been to the states before, but that was only ever for a few weeks to visit her dad while he worked. Now she lives here, and their plan is pretty much just go to class, go to work, go to sleep, repeat for four years, and graduate. It’s probably a good thing that plan is going straight down the drain with this new group of friends…

McKinley Savannah March 💜

"It's not a perfect narrative, there's beauty in mistakes." - Best Friends, 5 Seconds of Summer

Nicknames: Kinley

Age: 19

Gender: female

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: who fricken knows (her words)

Birthday: April 29

Star sign: Taurus

Friends: Audrey, Logan, Lennon, Aspen, Levi

Partner: Aspen

Family: Amber (mom), Nathaniel (dad), Cecelia (younger sister, 16)

Occupation: college freshman (studying history and anthropology)

Fun facts: she has ADHD

McKinley knows she talks too much, too fast, about things people don’t usually care about. That’s fine. It just means she should only surround herself with people who don’t mind her the way she is. The problem is… there aren’t many of those people around. Her parents, her sister, Logan, and Aspen, and that’s about it. Oh, and her cool Australian roommate. And Logan’s roommate, Audrey. And Audrey’s friend Levi. Well, actually, now that she thinks about it, there are actually a lot of people who really like her. She’ll have to get used to that…

Aspen Noel Brady ❤️

"I don't know much about love. Come find my in the crowd of all the boys and girls." - Boys & Girls, Conan Gray

Age: 19

Gender: gremlin (their words)

Pronouns: they/them

Sexuality: bisexual

Birthday: August 2nd

Star sign: Leo

Friends: Audrey, Logan, Lennon, McKinley, Levi

Partner: McKinley

Family: Andrea (mom), Matthew (dad)

Occupation: barista at a milkshake shop, college freshman (studying English and film)

Fun facts: they sleepwalk and sleep talk

Aspen sort of loves being weird. They embrace it. They’re strongly considering getting it tattooed somewhere. But in high school, “weird” is a gateway drug to “bullied”, which is harder to embrace. It was bad; months went by where they were hesitant to leave the house, and they accidentally got very good at self-isolating when life went sour. It’s been a long time since then, and once they settle into regularity with their new group of friends, they look forward to never resorting to that again. No matter how badly circumstances want them to…

Levi Declan Avery Jackson 💚

"And it ain't so pretty when you're playing cute when your body's up against some fool." - 1983, Neon Trees

Age: 20

Gender: male

Pronouns: he/him

Sexuality: gay

Birthday: September 20th

Star sign: Virgo

Friends: Audrey, Logan, Lennon, McKinley, Aspen

Family: Phoebe (mom), Chris (dad), Lena (little sister, 7)

Occupation: college sophomore (studying journalism and creative writing/composition)

Fun facts: he has citizenship in the US (where he was born), Canada (where his dad was born) and the Philippines (where his mom was born)

Levi doesn't care one way or the other about the idea of love languages, but don't even think for one second that his isn't gift giving. He grew up with money, so anything his friends want, his friends get. The problem is that he's gotten quite used to people who would rather be friends with his bank account than him, and his only real friend since… well, ever has been Audrey. Shockingly, the people Audrey introduces him to don’t seem at all interested in his credit card. Weird…

[seoll3miwrites]

Doing Time | Criminal Minds

Chapter 3. Zitti E Buoni

Back to Masterlist

Hana sees the BAU’s plane for the first time and holy shit is it nice. See end note for translations. Chapter Title: Zitti E Buoni by Maneskin

It was three days before the BAU was assigned a new case, it would be Hana's first real case with the team. She'd woken up an hour before she had to leave, making sure she had plenty of time to get ready.

After she'd taken a morning shower, she dressed in a simple pair of black trousers paired with a deep velvet red shirt. Her makeup with light, but finished with a deep red lip.  She styled her hair up carefully before grabbing her "go-bag" as Hotcher had referred to it as.

As she step out her room she heard music playing from the Kitchen, and when she turned the corner she saw her roommate; Sasha.

"Morning Sasha!" Hana yelled over the music still playing from the flat's speaker.

"Hana!" Sasha turned towards her smiling brightly, "You're never normally up this early? Do you want breakfast I'm making omelettes."

"Although omelettes sound amazing right now, I've been called in for work." She stated indicating to bag on her shoulder.

"For a case?"

"Yes."

"Oh my god this is your first real case with the BAU, when you get back we are totally celebrating." Sasha cheered loudly before hugging Hana tightly.

"Sasha."

"Huh?"

"I think your omelette is burning."

"Oh shit!" She quickly raced back to the stove and made sure to flipped the omelette before too much damage was done, "What would I do without you?"

"Be charged for arson firstly," Hana quipped earning a playful glare from her roommate. "Anyway I gotta go."

She said her goodbyes and began to make her way out the door, before turning back to yell. "Oh and if you have Peter over make sure to use protection!" 

"I'm on the pill genius!" Sasha yelled back.

"Yeah but it's Peter!"

"Just go to work!" 

Hana smiled before opening the front door, "I'll see you later."

She quickly ran to catch the bus that would take her into work, the commute was thankfully a lot easier than it had been the past week and no creep was sat in the back seat staring at her like yesterday. Although Hana had been working at the BAU for the last week this was her first real case, as she'd spent most of her time with Tara as they both received run down training to work in the BAU.

To say she was a little nervous was a major understatement. While she knew she had the capacity to be a great asset to the team, she knew she had to prove it. So as she sat on the bus, she put on her headphones and played music as she focused on her breathing trying to bring her stress down. 

Eventually she arrived at work and quickly made her way into the elevator where she was met with the site of the BAU resident genius; Doctor Spencer Reid. They'd spoken a little over the last week but this was their first time alone.

As she glanced over she noticed the book he had clutched in his arms was in Russian, her eyes lit up in excitement.

"You can read Russian?" She questioned. 

Reid turned his head towards, not expecting that question. "Yes, well I felt like rereading Anna Karenina again but I much prefer the original Russian text. I think it really helps with a lot of the nuances, that a translation can sometimes miss." He explained rapidly to the point that Hana almost couldn't keep up, "Do you speak it too?"

Hana nodded slightly before adding, "My adoptive father spoke Russian."

"Oh yes you would've spoken it growing up." He turned his body towards now,"sorry, I forgot." 

"Thought you had an eidetic memory Doctor Reid?" She teased him slightly, also turning her body to face him.

"Ah well..." he stumbled over his words. "I was more focused on who your father was."

"Yeah, I suppose the whole mass murder thing tends to trumps everything else, huh?" She titled her head slightly.

Reid seemed shocked at her blunt reply, and responded with a simple shy smile. The two stood together for a few moments of silence before the elevator bell dinged and the doors opened to their floor. 

"Позвоните мне, если когда-нибудь захотите практиковать свои навыки русского языка." Hana stated in Russian while winking at him before moving out of the elevator and pushing open the glass doors. 

She placed her bag down by her desk before making her way to the conference room for the case briefing; there she found Morgan and Rossi sat the desk waiting for the rest of the team to arrive. 

"Morning Gentlemen," She greeted before taking the seat next to Morgan, "What's the case?" 

"Don't know yet babushka, still waiting on Hotch but apparently we're not doing the original case anymore." Morgan replied with smile. After she'd join the team and told them about her past, Morgan had begun to call her Babushka. She'd already explained what it meant to which he'd simply replied, "I know, but it's also the only Russian word I know." 

"Really?" She questioned, "Wonder what the case is then?"

In that moment, Tara and Reid made their way into the room, seemingly continuing their conversation. "A bizarre coincidence, right?" Tara had quipped to Spencer as she placed her cup of coffee down on the round table.

"What's a coincidence?" Rossi asked the conversation clearly peaking his interest. 

"Tara's mom went to the same elementary school as the Truck Stop strangler's mom."' Reid explained as he placed his cup of coffee down, before placing a second cup in front of Hana.

"Ok, that's a little creepy somehow." 

"Cool though." Hana added while shrugging her shoulders.

"Don't get comfortable. The plane's waiting for us." Hotch stated as he made his way into the conference room with Garcia following closely behind him.

"10 minutes ago there was a poison gas attack on a city link commuter bus in Los Angeles." Garcia began to explain, and Hana eyes widened in surprise, "10 confirmed dead so far."

"Do we know what it was?" Tara questioned.

"Hazmat just got on the scene."

"Chlorine gas was used recently in Syria." Morgan suggested as everyone gathered their things and began to make their way out the conference room.

"Maybe it's connected."

"It also reminds me of the attack on the Tokyo subway. Religious cult members carried plastic bags of sarin and punctured them with umbrella tips." Reid added as the followed behind Hotch. 

"That was 1995. It could be a 20th year anniversary event." Rossi suggested further. 

"We'll find out." Hotch sounded determined as he swung open the glass doors the team following closely behind. 

They made their way out to the plane, which Hana had yet to actually see. It was an impressive aircraft, and the interior surprised her. It actually looked incredibly comfy for something that was government funded. 

"Jesus! Does this Jet even come with an air hostess?" She exclaimed as she took a seat on the comfiest chair she'd ever sat on. 

Morgan laughed before replying, "Not unless you count pretty boy here." He patted Reid on the shoulder before taking his seat. Reid, in return swatted him away before taking the seat opposite Hana. 

He smiled at the newest agent before pulling out a completely different book from the one in the elevator, Hana was able to glance at the cover and noticed it was War and Peace, once more in the original Russian.

"Thought you were reading Anna Karenina?" She queried, causing the Doctor to lift his head to look at her. 

"Oh, I finished that this morning, brought this one for the flight. Just some light reading."

"Big book for some 'light reading'" she replied curling her figures to indicate quotations. "You a fast reader or something."

"We'll I can read 5 words a minute so... I guess so." He replied, rather humbly.

"Holy shit"

"What?" 

"You're fucking smart at fuck, Doctor Reid."

He laughed at her statement, his lips curled into a wide smile as he did so, Hana thought he was adorable.

"Okay let's discuss the case, get a rough profile going before we get there, I'm calling Garcia now." Hotch stated as he opened his laptop and the team gathered around the small screen. Eventually they were greeted by the sight of the lovable technical analyst. 

"Oh, crime-fighters, I just got confirmation from the L.A. field office that traces of sarin were found." Garcia opened with when Hotch gave her the go ahead. 

"Sarin is the most volatile nerve agent there is." Reid began to explain, “Symptoms are felt within seconds. Watery eyes, foaming at the nose and mouth, and convulsions, paralysis, and death within minutes."

Hana winced at the Doctor’s description, she’d been lucky to never come across Sarin in her past line of work. 

"The last known use of sarin was two years ago in Syria, near Damascus." Tara suggested to the group.

"We've had recent threats of terrorism targeting major U.S. cities." Morgan also added building off what Tara had mentioned.

"The religious cult responsible for the Tokyo subway attack 20 years ago is also still active." Rossi proposed as an alternative profile.

"Very much so, but they've split into two branches with different names." Reid spoke rapidly, while still expressing his point clearly, “There's over 2,100 members and 4 of them are in Southern California."

"Where's the leader?" Morgan asked.

"Shoko Asahara's on death row in Japan. He's incoherent and confined to a wheelchair."

"So he's not calling any shots." Rossi quipped in response. 

“That’s putting nicely.” Hana stated quietly earning a bemused look from Reid; the only one who heard her. 

"No, but that doesn't rule out devout followers doing it in his name." Hotch had responded to Rossi, as the team continued the discussion. 

"Garcia, what do you know about the casualties?"

"Aside from the I.D.s, not much."

"Well, it's 6 men and 4 women, age range 20 to 60." 

"Victimology seems to be pretty random." 

"Here's the thing-- sarin evaporates quickly, it's hard to control, and would thus be very difficult to target an individual."

"Collateral damage may mask the real target." 

“They must have had a vantage view of bus to make sure the right victim was on board.” The youngest agent added, internally proud for contributing to the discussion. 

It was almost intimidating how well they bounced ideas of each other to make a brief profile. Even Tara had managed to keep up with them and she was just as new and Hana. 

"Garcia, look into the victims and also anyone online claiming responsibility."

"Aye aye, captain." Garcia responded before terminating the video call.

With the call ended the team took their seats and prepared for the case. Hana took her seat facing Spencer Reid once again, sighing softly to her self. 

"How are you feeling?” The young doctor suddenly asked her, “I was nervous on my first case.”

“Yeah I feel one second away from screaming. I mean chemical attacks aren’t exactly my forte.” Hana replied followed by a set of giggles mostly brought on by her nerves. Yet, rather than look at her strangely, Spencer began to laugh with her. She felt comfortable enough to keep laughing. 

Russian: Call me if you ever want to practice your Russian language skills

Prev Chapter // Next Chapter

[astutior]

OPEN VERSES

— available to any & all interested mutuals.

Stone Mind; Glass Heart.

This is the main canon verse, taking place from the time Armin joins the survey corps onward. Age range 15-19. In the short span of four years, Armin makes his mark as a valuable asset to his squad with his strategical mind and logical thinking. He often assists in the formation of plans that lead the survey corps to victory and prevent the untimely death(s) of his friends many times over. As time moves on, Armin is given a second chance at life after a hard fought battle in his hometown of Shinganshina when he's chosen to inherit the power of the colossal titan. Although he does not believe this was the correct choice, Armin takes this new responsibility very seriously, and becomes a powerful weapon against their enemies in Marley, even when it pains him to do so. By the end of the war, Armin's efforts are rewarded with the title of 15th Commander, when 14th Commander Hange Zoe sacrifices herself and passes the title on to him.

Trainee Verse (tba)

A canon verse for Armin's time spent in the 104th trainees squad. Age range 12-15. After the death of his grandfather, Armin officially decides to join the military alongside his friends in the hopes of bringing change to a government directly responsible for the deaths of his parents, grandfather, and countless others, and the chance to finally explore the outside world. Although he is far from the strongest, his bright mind and unwavering determination catch the eye of his higher ups, and eventually prove enough to get him through to graduation.

Post Rumbling Verse (tba)

A post canon verse for events that take place after the rumbling. Age range 19-22 and beyond. War changes people, and Armin is no exception. With his dreams of exploring the outside world quite literally crushed beneath the feet of an army of titans, Armin has been left with more responsibilities than freedom at the end of it all. Commander of the last remnants of the survey corps. Ambassador of peace. The hero who killed Eren Jaeger. Enemy number one in the eyes of the newly formed Jaegerist faction of Paradis. Perhaps worst of all, he's been left to deal with all of these things while he mourns the death of his childhood best friend. Armin is still Armin. Will always be Armin. But the light in his eyes that once shone so brightly has dwindled to a dull glow at best most days, dimmed by trauma and melancholy. All he can do is keep moving forward.

Fever Dream.

Modern verse. This is the default for anything that might take place in the here and now. Focus will most likely be on a college age Armin or older. In this verse, he comes from a lower class family, and was raised by his grandfather. His parents may or may not be among the living, but will most likely be out of the picture due to their line of work or some other such excuse if I've decided they're alive at all. Our boy can be a bit of a hermit here, as he spends a lot of time playing video games (he's very good at them), reading, or studying. His friends may need to drag him away at times to get him involved in their antics.

Second Chances; Recollection.

Reincarnation au. Armin is blessed with a second life, free from the horrors of titans and war. Or so it would seem. Though he doesn't outwardly remember his previous lifetime in Paradis, the memories are occasionally triggered by people, images, or conversation. Is he losing his mind? Perhaps, one day, he'll remember.

As the World Falls Down.

Zombie apocalypse au that I came up with several years ago but never bothered to properly write. As a virus spreads across the country, Armin teams up with Eren and Mikasa on a journey to a mysterious medical facility in the hopes of finding Eren's father; a doctor who they believe has been working on a cure. What they don't realize, is that Grisha and his team were actually the cause of the virus to begin with. An accidental case of biological warfare that he's been desperately trying to correct. As the three friends make their way through the treacherous hellscape their world has become, a hoard of the undead separates Armin from his companions, and he's sure Eren, who was bitten in the midst of protecting him, is now dead because of him. Left on his own, and close to giving up, Armin decides not to let Eren's sacrifice go to waste, and instead presses on to the distant medical facility, hoping that Mikasa is still alive, and the two of them will somehow be reunited. Featuring such never ever been done before tropes as: Eren is immune because Grisha used him as a guinea pig.

PRIVATE VERSES

— do not interact or reference IC unless you've been invited.

Pretty, Handsome, Awkward.

idol/band au with @kerothi.

Your Ghost, Beneath My Skin.

post canon au with @praesidi & @kerothi.

[hoenn-hakase]

Anniversary: The Story Thus Far

With the 10th Anniversary Super Gauntlet going on, my brain has kicked into overdrive this week thinking about some of the lore concepts to come up. Of course, at this point we've only done Red, Bootleg Yellow (yes, I'm counting it), Gold and Silver, so we've still got a LOT of games to cover before we get into the plot, but ideas are already flowing. Things may change, but I just wanted to get down some current thoughts down while I've got it.

So one plotline the Lorecord has been playing around with for a few years now is that our last season, S10, took place in a Post Apocalyptic universe that S9 had been building up to (I wanna make a separate post on this) and we finally got an arc ending payoff with Wilting Y. Each person has their own thoughts on the timeline and what events led to this and what the aftermath was, but my gosh that moment we collectively went "OH SNAP" when connecting Mega Aerodactyl to Yveltal, there's no the question of what's going on in the Super Gauntlet.

Super Gauntlet is all vanilla games being played completely on real hardware systems. This opens us up to a lot of features we've never had access to! It's exciting but having all of the regions in their vanilla states feels like a new era. The world was rebuilt It's been centuries since The End. Someone hit restart on the universe. All thoughts that have come up in discussion before. But then something interesting came up: Our first loss.

Now I personally don't think a run needs Releases to become "interesting" but it can lead to some really fascinating ideas as we try to make sense of the loss. In this case, we were fighting over the need for Cut to continue the game. Our options were: 1) evolve the Kakuna (Simon) we already had in the party so Beedrill could learn Cut. Unfortunately, there was a pretty dedicated group of evolution cancellers, so doable but proving difficult. 2) With patience wearing thin, we could just deposit someone and go catch an Oddish. (Which is what eventually happened.) 3) It may be difficult, but we had a Spearow in the PC so if we needed to use it anyway to deposit someone, we could grab the bird then trade it for Dux, just like we did in the original Red run. But people were scared of the PC and for good reason, since sure enough we had a PC war break out and Marvin "Mushmouth" the Squirtle, Simon the Kakuna, and yes, even the Spearow, were all Released.

But interestingly enough, someone proposed that Dux was the one behind this. The question quickly became why. Maybe... just maybe... because this Dux was the same as the one from Original Red. That maybe Dux was trying to avoid the fate that killed him before. Maybe because he saw this group of relic hunters and knew that Ash did not have the most noble intentions in grabbing the Helix Fossil and would actually unleash an even greater threat in his quest chasing rumors and legends and whispers of the bygone era. Ash clearly obsessed about the past when it seemed almost everyone had forgotten about it. He spent hours at the museum in Pewter to learn about the gods and set out from home with a dream. He had already obtained things like the Helix Fossil, the Town Map, the Bicycle, all symbols of Chosen past and surely more to come. Maybe the death of Marvin and Simon was truly an accident but now that Dux has "awoken" the memories of his past life, he now starts a new personal quest to follow the Chosen to stop the Voices from destroying everything again. Which Dux may have been right about Ash sadly since the kid eventually did NOT revive Helix but eventually went out of his way to obtain the mysterious Missingno named Bucket who he used a few other times to expand his riches. Put a pin there, I'll get into his fate later.

And then it was added that we meet a Farfetch'd in Ilex Forrest too. Maybe the next time we would meet Dux. Maybe he was still traded by the little girl to someone else and that's why he refuses to listen to the Woodcutter's assistant. Now that he's aware of all of this, he ran from owner to find Celebi and get answers about these strange memories of a past life. Why is this happening? What happened before? Something to definitely look out for once we saw the stories of Gold and Silver.

Well, GS dual runs came up and we could see that the twins Raymond (Gold) and Xyler / Xylver (Silver) have very different personalities with Xy often taking advantage of his brother to expand on his own power and speed on ahead by wrecking anything and anyone in his path. He caught a Ledian early on, who has become associated as the Incarnation of Olden just as one would say Helix is an Omanyte (even if there have been times we've said not all Omanyte are Helix) and much later on it gained an on-again-off-again teammate status further solidifying Xy's reputation for being a "morally gray" character. All the more telling that he failed to get either of the Tower Duo while Raymond was able to get both. Raymond is a sweet kid, and a good kid. After his brother took his Chikorita and left him with a Geodude, Raymond stayed loyal to his rock friend and eventually got a Golem. He had a Slowpoke he made a king. He had the patience and kindness to evolve his Eevee into an Umbreon, and yes, he eventually befriended Ho-oh and carried it to League.

I mention all this because even if they seem like a pair of ordinary kids, no grandiose backstories (yet) or cool occupation, something of great interest came up towards the end. For one, we were told this was not a race but by gosh did it get treated like one. Johto lasted about a day and a half. Xyler beat the League while Raymond was still in Blackthorn City and just to dunk on him, he beat it a second time while Raymond was trying to win the first time. (In truth it's because we had one VERY dedicated player who wanted to get Ledian it's promised place in the Hall of Fame) But we got to the Trainer House in Viridian City and discovered we had some guests! Ritchie was one of our side game hosts from Yellow about a year or two ago, and NEEKO was from a Silver run from about the same period.

Neeko is especially curious to see here though because during his run, he was able to pull off some ACE glitchery most notably turning the Sudowoodo into a Celebi named ASUS. It was also said about this time that when we played Blazing Emerald Redo as a side game it was to wash the awful taste out of the community's collective mouth after some of the things that happened during our original Blazing Emerald run. There had also been joking how we ~never~ got to use the Pokemon Agony had before. And we sure ~never~ got to see some of the places that only exist in BE before. So there was some lore that Neeko used his own reality warping powers and Time Guardian friend to "erase" Blazing Emerald from the timeline. Agony.... Is another tale for another time, but let's just say I hc he did not take the idea of "fading from existence as everyone he loved forgets about him as some sort of punishment for things outside his control while he STILL suffers the consequences" very well. Neeko probably means well? But him showing up to beat down Xy (he swept us in the first encounter) is not a good sign for our power seeking scamp because Neeko has literally destroyed people before, he would do it again if he thought it would fix things. AND WORSE he's got ties to Celebi which brings us back full circle that maybe the one Dux was working for / went to meet in the forest with, was none other than Neeko. And given Xy's bad luck with birds (even his flier was "borrowed" after Raymond picked up Kenya then traded it to him) who better to thwart / keep an eye on this punk than the Leek Knight himself here to fulfill the divine duty he never got to fulfill?

And maybe he did. Maybe he didn't. I have two thoughts that if he did, what happened. 1) Neeko "erased" Xy's original adventure where we don't know and don't want to think about what he did to catch Neeko's attention when there was no one to stop him. This second time having Raymond go with him / instead of him may be specifically to stop that path of events from happening again. 2) Xy may have been the target but Neeko may have learned from his mistakes. Instead of going after him directly like he did with Agony, he tried to change the course by instead going after Ash. 3) ... Both are simultaneously true.

Ah yes, still got that pin?

Now before we started SGRed, we played a few intermission games to test out the system in preparation for the official run. One of those was Bootleg Yellow. We didn't finish it though, but we had a hero named Ash and he picked up a Squirtle so connections are there already. Since Missingno messed up our Hall of Fame data, we discovered that Ash was "dreaming of Marvin" as we watched a mini HoF play out with a corrupted Squirtle image. After the run, we got to go back and finish Yellow. Interestingly, since Ash had a full pack when he beat Giovanni, we had no space for the Fissure TM. Game Freak thought of this, so Giovanni doesn't disappear until you take it. So it looks like in SGR, Team Rocket never disbanded. BUT in Bootleg Yellow there's a greater focus on Team Rocket if I understand right and the League Rematch replaced Gary with Jessie and James as Champion. So Ash did end up finishing off Team Rocket so Johto events could proceed as they should. But how this came about is because after Yellow we have been playing Stadium2 with our games plugged in. There's a feature in Stadium2 that both lets you play the GB cartridges from an arcade mode and allows you to bring Pokemon from said cartridges into the arenas. Ash tried to withdraw Bucket and of course the game crashed. This seemed like The End for him. Except timeline wise this may have been what "saved" him assuming he completed Red, failed to defeat Team Rocket, whatever happened between Neeko and Xy the first time, Neeko went back and ripped Ash out of this Bad End but by doing so Ash ended up starting over in Yellow. Further complicating things is either Ritchie is here because while Ash had to set up events for Xy, Raymond didn't have that problem because Ritchie had done it. They're cool, just hanging out. That may mean when Neeko tried to fix things with Ash though, he accidentally booted out Ritchie. Alternatively, it could be that since the world is having these moments of repetition, Ritchie being a Chosen never forgot the old world and had his Yellow adventures ages ago. Seeing things play out (albeit differently this time) he's just here because he's worried about his home and wished nothing but the best for Ash. Which he did good so now Ritchie is just keeping an eye on things because he knows Neeko and is nervous about what he's up to. Please don't erase anyone this time. That caused such a mess... On the upside, whatever terror Neeko thought Xy might do didn't come to pass. Interestingly, ASUS ended up being the name of Xy's rival, so it's possible the redhead jerk was actually Celebi in disguise all along checking in on Xy to make sure he was good this time. Or ASUS being so aggressive was because he kept failing to stop Xy since he kept losing. It's funny then to think Neeko only showed up in the post game after having an "aw crap" reaction to Xy getting to the League miles ahead of Raymond but then Xy let his brother catch up. Only because like the Tortoise and the Hare he got cocky. Raymond defeated Red first so he kinda won the game. Red was vanilla Red of course so I'm not quiiiite sure what significance that would mean for Xy to reach him second. And with Ash and Ritchie around, technically we're not even sure who this Red is but it was (possibly) important to Neeko either way. So since Raymond won, that did ..... something??? We'll see.

But going back to Ash now. Why would he not have his team when starting over? Because after GS we went back to Stadium2 where Ash's team has been crumbling because of technicalities. First we ended up trading Bucket to Raymond but this turned it into a normal Ditto so it's no longer a cursed abomination. Ash could technically get Bucket back, but it'll never be the same. We also evolved our Onix into a Steelix so that's nice for him, but Ash can never bring him home now since Steelix would create a time paradox. So that's two members gone. As much as Ash cares about Pixie I bet he wouldn't dare risk her or the others remaining on a second journey if he started over in Yellow. Buuuut alternatively, Ash falling through a crack in the space-time thanks to Neeko may have honestly made him forget what happened. Was Red all just a dream? He's waking up 10 years old again being told Oak is waiting to give him his first Pokemon... Man, it was a nice dream being all action hero and finding creatures that shouldn't exist and all that. But... Just like Dux, it's possible as he went along this journey, even as things are slightly different, he's getting memories of what feels like another world. Another life... What happened to him?

And that now has my mind racing over other characters who may have had memories stirred. Ash's rival was named Blue. Is it the one from Original Red? From Gauntlet? What does he remember? Does Lance have this sinking feeling that for all his fame and fortune he's missing something? He had a wife, a whole family back in Naljo before the world fell apart. And now he's met not one but three new Chosen, how much deja vu is he getting from TPP shenanigans over the years? I have some thoughts on them, but that's for another post subject.

But for now, we got Ruby and Sapphire coming up on Monday!! And you know it's about this point in the series the stakes start rising. We've taken on mere mortals, now let's save the world from primordial titans! .... Good luck heroes.

[starsarefire824]

Ahhh for writing prompts: how does angst sound?? Idk what specific flavor of angst, but i've been craving it lately, and i'm sure you've got some cool take on it brewing in your head :D

“Will!” Mike calls out as the huge metal door of their high school almost hits him in the face. Will shoved it open so hard that it slammed loudly into the brick wall with a heavy thrash. The October night is chilly and Mike shivers when the brisk air hits his cheeks. It’s almost a reprieve from the heat of the gym where their last Homecoming dance was still going on. And when Mike wasn’t tugging at his collar and wiping away sweat from his forehead, he had spent his time trying not to stare at Will; trying not to notice how he had grown more and more upset with each song that played; trying not to notice how he got more and more quiet and avoided his gaze and didn’t laugh when the Party joked around at their table. Tried not to notice the only time he even remotely engaged was when Lucas had slipped the flask Max had stolen from her mom underneath the table. 

It’s quiet outside, the only sound is the rustling of trees in the wind and the dampened beat of a Madonna song thumping from the gym. 

“Will! Come on man. Stop!” Mike quickens his pace, his shoes slapping against the sidewalk loudly when he finally catches up to Will. He tugs at his sleeve and Will shrugs him off, slapping his arm away as he turns forcefully on his heels. 

“No Mike! I just want to go home—-” Mike stops in his tracks when he sees Will’s eyes, red rimmed and tears streaming down his face. He wipes them roughly away with the back of his palms. 

Mike throws his arms out, frustrated. “How are you going to get home right now? You’re being ridiculous.” 

“Ridiculous,” Will scoffs angrily and rolls his eyes, then glares at him. “I’ll walk,” he continues, quickly turning back around and stomping off toward where the fence leads to the woods that lead to his house. 

“Dude, you can’t walk! That’s like a full hour and you don’t have your coat.” 

“Why do you even care, Mike?!” Will challenges bitterly and turns around again to face him directly, his gaze hard and seething under his sadness. Mike tries not to flinch beneath his scrutiny. “Why do you act like that?” Will asks him, motioning towards the gym. 

“Like what?! I was just—” 

“Like what?!” Will interrupts, his laugh filled with acid as he steps closer invading Mike’s space, chin turned up defiantly. He shoves his fingers into his shoulder roughly. “Dancing with El the whole night like you’re still together? Ignoring me in the car, while your Mom was taking pictures at your house, basically forcing me to dance with Stacy???! You couldn’t even sit next to me at the fucking table!” Will looks to the stars. “Why did you even invite me? I didn’t even want to come to this, but you said you wanted us to go….together! You said we would tell Lucas and Dustin tonight! You told me you were ready! And now you’re barely acting like my friend, let alone my boyfriend!”

 Will’s voice is loud and Mike tries not to cower when the word 'boyfriend' echoes through the parking lot. He hates himself for it, but he glances around quickly in search of any people passing by that could hear them, only to find it’s abandoned. Will’s eyes follow his and he swallows roughly before staring back at Mike with wide eyes that declare, “See? Just proved my point.” 

Mike opens and closes his mouth, struggling to find anything to say that will help. He stutters, his voice breaking as emotion sticks painfully in his throat. “I’m—I’m sorry Will.” His shoulders fold in on themselves as he wraps his arms around his torso, the weight of this stupid night finally too hard to hold up anymore. “I just—--I thought I was ready—and I—-” He ducks his head to catch Will’s gaze which hasn’t left the floor. Fresh tears pool in his eyes and he’s roughly working his jaw against a sob. Mike’s fingers twitch at his side with the urge to grab his best friend’s face and pull him close and kiss his mouth, his forehead, kiss away his tear streaked cheeks; taste the salt of him on his lips. 

Instead, he murmurs, “I’m so sorry—-I thought—-” he sighs heavily. “I thought I was ready and I was so excited and I even had a stupid boutonnière I bought you and everything that matches your vest, and then it all started happening and everyone was there and my dad was staring at me standing with El and then he was looking at you and I just couldn’t fucking breathe and I’m a fucking idiot! I know I am—-but I’m sorry Will. I’m. So. Sorry.” 

He reaches out to him, his fingers gently caressing the back of his neck and he slides it lightly over his face, thumbing away a tear. Will works his jaw again, eyelashes thick and wet as he stares down at Mike’s chest. He swallows heavily, slightly leaning into his touch as he finally meets Mike’s gaze. Mike watches his mouth, unable to keep himself from leaning in close, to kiss it all away. But then he feels Will’s hand at the back of his and he’s pulling his hand away, gently placing it back at his side. 

“Mike—” he breathes, voice rough and pained. He shakes his head sorrowfully. “I can’t be your secret anymore. I just—-” he shrugs, completely dejected. “I just can’t.” With that, he’s turning away from Mike again and Mike stands frozen in place, his heart thudding in his chest and his own tears blurring his vision as he watches Will quickly pass through the gate of the metal fence and disappear into the woods that will lead him back to his house.

@perpetualexistentialcrisis17

[quartings]

College Adventures Special Episode IX: Interview with Jorge Gutierrez and Sandra Equiha!

Thought I was done with the interviews, huh? This was the most starstruck I've been in a long, long, time! C'mon, these two created El Tigre and Book of Life, how could I not get excited??

Sorry if I get a bit personal, but there's so much I wanted to say about this talk!

First of all, Jorge is such an energetic and naturally funny speaker- whenever he tells a story, you can pretty much see it play out in his animation style!

When he was young, he told his family that he wanted to draw/write/direct, and they all laughed at him.

His stern architect dad told Jorge that he would only let him go to art school if Jorge got into the best one in the world, proving his determination about his dream (which explains a lot of Jorge's dad characters)

Jorge's told the story about the snooty CalArts interviewer (Telling him to be true to his Mexican art rather than copying American styles) in nearly every interview, so I won't go too in-depth on it here.

Sure enough, Jorge got accepted into CalArts! But at that time he was tempted to stay behind in Tijuana with his new girlfriend Sandra. She told him he'd be an idiot for staying and told him to got to CalArts while she studied graphic design.

Here's the part I relate to Jorge so hard on- he spent his college years surrounded by so many talented people that it caused self-esteem issues. But he also noticed that talented artists procrastinate a lot. So while his more talented friends were procrastinating, he did over 3x their workload to catch up to and exceed their level!

One of his shorts won an award at Cannes, and was his first big break!

He loves working too hard and challenging himself, trying out 3d and a job at Lucasfilm for a while to diversify. He preferred 2d and left for other ventures though. I really do hope he does more fully 2d stuff someday!

Contrary to what a lot of other successful people say, Jorge really prefers being a jack of all trades! I really admire how he also started out as a simultaneous writer/animator/voice actor, and he started out making his own animated short called "El Macho Vs the Mariachis of Doom", which blew up overnight into a viral hit!

Because of this, Sony noticed this and decided to give him a show! They asked him how much of a budget he wanted and he said 17k. Much later, Jorge found out he got scammed and the original budget was 150k before he opened his mouth.

Moral of the story: Never say how much you want to get paid- always ask how much they will pay you!

This Sony show did get canned in development, but even being hired by Sony gave him enough clout to get looked at by Disney, which gave him enough clout to get hired by Nickelodeon for El Tigre!

Since Jorge and Sandra were married by this point, Nickelodeon had them sign a "divorce clause" when they were both hired, saying they couldn't stop working together even if they split up!

As Nick's first flash animated show, El Tigre was apparently really hated by old Nick Execs. It did really well in every blue state, and got Jorge death threats from every red state.

When Jorge joined Dreamworks to make the Book of Life, Bee Movie failing caused the current execs to get swapped out for new racist execs who told him to whitewash the movie. They also told him to work with some random guy who'd never even wrote a musical or anything at the time- some Lin Manuel Miranda dude? Wonder what he's up to now.

Rightfully angry at the whitewashing, Jorge left to make Book of Life elsewhere, with very little of their former coworkers having faith in him and Sandra.

Jorge had to beg Guillermo Del Toro 16 times to help produce his movie. Turns out, Del Toro only ghosted the first 15 times because he was shy, and did really want to work with Jorge!

Thanks to Del Toro's clout as the director of Shape of Water, he was able to convince 20th Century Fox to make the Book of Life for Jorge! And yeah, Fox? Working with POC for a POC movie? Jorge didn't have the best time at the company. But he's still happy the movie got made!

But right as Jorge was about to start work on his Latino Sci-Fi show, Trump became president and a ton of Mexican series, including Jorge's, got cancelled.

So Jorge moved on to his next project, meeting up with his friends Lord & Miller to make the Billion Brick Race movie for Lego! I always wondered what happened to that film.

Well, what happened was, Danish Lego executives saw that Jorge wanted to make the film about the Latino experience and once again yelled at him to whitewash (or yellow-wash?) it. They told him how they didn't believe in critical race theory, so he left. (You know, as the company that cancelled Bionicle twice, it really doesn't surprise me that those people hate good things and are evil.)

And finally, Jorge got invited to a big Netflix party for his birthday. For his present, they told him they'd make any show he wanted them to make, so Jorge got wasted and told them he wanted a big Mayan fantasy adventure show. The next morning as he was recovering from his hangover, it was official! That's how Maya and the Three was born!

Now Jorge doesn't just have Maya- he also has Enchihuahua, an anthology short, an adult comedy series, another Maya-like show, and a lucha libre movie all coming soon!

Bonus:

Jorge loves wearing graphic tees about whatever he's working on!

Jorge likes drawing things with crazy complex Latino detailing, and Sandra likes cute minimalist designs. They love working together because they feel their contrast helps each other shine!

Honestly, I've never seen such a funny and loving couple in my life! If they don't make a show about their dynamic, I'll have to do it!

Sandra loves making poorly named art reference folders so much that she gets lost in them. Jorge is so hopelessly in love with her and her art, even the sketches she hates, it's adorable.

Jorge is mad that CalArts doesn't teach scriptwriting, and as someone who hates the armchair cartoon critics who wimp out and fail at writing their own animations, I'm mad on his behalf too!

Jorge joked that he wants to be converted into an animatronic when he dies.

Re: Jorge's adult animated series- he said he's inspired by anime and Primal when making it.

My favorite quote of the night from Jorge and Sandra: "If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together <3"

[keepingthehopealive]

Updates

Job- going so well. I have a lot to learn, but also have a good basis of skills and knowledge which is allowing me to jump right in. My preceptor has worked there over 30 years so her knowledge is beyond extensive. Everyone has been so nice and I love the patients and their families. I'm definitely where I'm meant to be. I'll write more specifically on my other blog about work though

Fostering this weekend was so nice! It was good for me and for my dog to have another dog around and I know it was good for her to get a break from the shelter. I miss her so much already. Me and the dogs spent time with my cousins this morning, the dogs got to enjoy the nice weather and run around, B (foster) practiced being brave and meeting new people. All around a good day. E is currently catching up on sleep from all the play time. I hope to take her, and other pups out for breaks again, until I'm on nights or find a good fit that can do ok when I'm at work all day with just the walk mid day. B had too much energy so I know in some ways its better than the shelter but still didn't want to do that to her. Once I'm on nights I can take longer term fosters, but in the meantime these slumber pawtys are perfect.

Therapy- had an intake on Friday with a therapist and I thought it went really well. I didn't book another appt yet because I have another intake on Tuesday and therapist 1 (the nature therapist) knew that. Long story short we specifically talked about if she would see me and felt comfortable (I asked) and she said yes and said she would be upfront if that wasn't the case or if I needed more care she would tell me that and get a team for me etc. Then today I get a message that was pretty nonspecific that she's not able to see me, no reason given, just that the level of clinical support I need is outside her practice (what?! I've been doing weekly therapy now for 2 years and have been fine with that). I know it's unreasonable and maybe weird but I am so hurt and confused by it. I'm in a stable place and have been for a while, I'm not overly relying on therapy but benefit from the support. I don't know what I said or did that made her make that decision. I thought it was gonna be a good fit and was excited to work with her because she's different than what I've had in the past. I know I can't get stuck on it and maybe it's not as personal as it feels, but it feels pretty damn awful. And personal. I did message back and nicely asked for more of an explanation but I imagine she won't likely respond. And I know at this point I shouldn't want to see her anyway. It feels like a big rejection and proves that I'm too much and too hard for even a therapist to put up with me. I'm spiraling a lot. I thought this time would be different and that I would be in control of choosing who I want to see and had options (last time I had intense SI and SH and that really limited who would see me outpatient especially)

I'm hoping Tuesdays intake goes well and I've already started looking for other options if I need them. I still will be seeing L too until I settle with a new provider. I sent her an email today because that helps when I'm this upset and triggered. I know I'll find someone to see, I just hate all this so much.

I'm excited to go back to work tomorrow and am just gonna snuggle the pup and try to move on from this situation because I can't do anything to change it.

[bhaalble]

Anyways look at my beast. Aravis Mercar, they/them. Some slightly custom backstory notes

-Third generation Liberati elf and the first in their family to be born with magical abilities. Their family kept them out of the Circle (since even free elves aren't safe from Magisters if they start drawing too much attention) before being noticed by the Mercar patriarch when they were around 12.

-Offered a personal apprenticeship and an education only accessible to noble children provided they accepted ward status and served the family for a set period of years.

-Impulsive, cocksure, talented but impatient. Begins their journey quite self-assured about their destiny to be some kind of protagonist. Their abilities combined with often being the only elf in a room have given them something to prove, but they also tend to feel alienated from other elves in the city due to their status as Liberati. Deeply opposed to slavery from an ideological standpoint but has been raised by their birth family and their adoptive one to regard themselves as Tevene before an elf. They're having to play a lot of catch-up on elven tradition now.

-Transitioned around the age of 16 after which they began running with the Shadow Dragons. Depending on potential Mercar family reveals this may get retconned but I think they're relatively liberal by Tevene standards (in that they think more minorities should be able to join the military, that the Venatori are a threat that cannot be afforded with the threat of war with the Qunari still looming, and that national security should be the first priority rather than a return to Ancient Ways). The Dragons are a little extreme for their tastes but a "necessary evil". they agreed Aravis' time of service would be better spent cooperating with them than continuing to study for the next few years

-Fresh-faced 24 year old by the time veilguard rolls around.

-Had had a couple of very bad no good hookups with Varric prior to the start of the game. Varric in my timeline is double divorced (yet never married) from both Hawke and Anders. So when he meets a blonde fast talking rogueish mage eager for approval, well-

-90% Rook's idea. He feels very bad about it and is still trying to let them down easy by the time inciting incident rolls around. They aren't getting it at all they think they are killing it with this hot DILF they found

-I'm playing them very Purple the same as my main Hawke but where I always felt Maryann was being glib as something of a power play/to show off I genuinely don't think Aravis is quite smart/socially aware enough to understand the witticisms read as frequently callous and inappropriate

-Generally good-hearted and willing to take responsibility for the hard choices but generally feels entitled to the benefit of the doubt. In their head everyone should just assume they only have the best of intentions (even if mistakes do happen). They shouldn't ever have to prove themselves or correct their method of expression people should just assume they're a good person based on vibes

-Lucanis mancer provided i can land this plane and Taash doesn't keep pulling on me. I've cultivated a real Dynamic here between Resting Dreamworks Face and Resting Defeated Face

[smollobsession]

25.3.

I'm 40. damn bro.

I finished Mark's book about not giving a fuck and it was really good.

there was a part about death that i found most intriguing, saying that if death is inevitable you might as well live until it comes. which is true and something i've been struggling with since my mom died.

Idk now if I said it in the last post but I also finished Dan's book and it was so helpful, I really wish I could force my teens to read it. (lovingly)

i'm now listening to "because internet" which is a fun linguistic study of internet language.

today i finally made crepes on the crepe maker E gave me ages ago. depression had a hold on me so i couldn't try it for ages but finally i'm there! i need to buy milk and mineral water for good pancakes but the experiment was a success!

in pogo news, I did groudon and kyogre raids and ... got nothing special :D but raiding was fun :D annoying tho that it's obvious you just can't have certain pokemon on certain levels. i played with my secondary, much lower account, and it just wouldn't let me catch groudon, even tho i won 3 raids for it. boo.

This weekend was Intense.

On friday i had my korean lesson and then met up with F for Zone of Interest. It was a great movie, I was immersed in it to the point that I kinda forgot it wasn't present. I also couldn't help but draw parallels to gaza but apparently I'm not allowed to talk about that.

Satuday was raid day and then Sunday I went to the protest. This time I got a flag and I made it all the way to the end of the protest! (minus the dancing, i went home for that :D ) it was ok despite my horrific anxiety making my back hurt and some details I didn't like (a guy spilled a bag of flour to prove some point but like... why are you spilling food while pointing out people are staving pls.) it was quite interesting how I spent most of the day today trying to see myself in pics and vids of the protest and only found ONE pic. soothes my anxiety a little, knowing i'm invisible :D

i've been following exercises from here and i've been increasing the number and length, i'm pleased! My flat is currently fairly clean and things are mostly in their place. yay mental health? and on the note of mental health i'm working on my fic again slowly too.

I did end up buying all the currently published Mo Dao Zu Shi comics :D which is 5 :D oh well! I'm also going to get a in person local Korean teacher. It'll cost a bit but it's fine I hope. Meanwhile I tested spotify and i don't like it. the organization is sadly a mess. the main feature i miss is the ability to see all songs by an artist. without that, their whole app is useless to me. I watched cooking crush and it's a really good show, I recommend it to all my friends now :D even tho the asian parent thing... it's not for me. i'm too chill toward my family even for my culture.

I got tickets for a musical in april, which i'll see with a student. (and another student is in the musical!)

had some good talks with my therapist, mainly about whether or not i care about being fat. i combined this with a chapter from mark's book, and it's quite simple i think. do i care? somewhat. certainly some mobility is not as it should be and i def want to fix that part. but a lot of my feelings about my own body are from outside. and he talks about how wanting to be something isn't the same as wanting to do the work for it, and that's basically it. would i like to be skinny? sure. am i willing to do the work for it? ... not? really? at least not now.

anyway exams are approaching, the end of this career is approaching. i'm chewing on that but so far i haven't reached anything specific. i need to write an email to the company i'm gonna ask for help, so this is my reminder to do that tomorrow :D

happy skz day :D my babies are 6! <3

[lamentingwclf]

[ surprise ] a sudden kiss to catch the partner off guard

🐝  *  ―  𝑫𝑰𝑭𝑭𝑬𝑹𝑬𝑵𝑻 𝑾𝑨𝒀𝑺 𝑻𝑶 𝑲𝑰𝑺𝑺 𝑺𝑶𝑴𝑬𝑶𝑵𝑬.

He'd never been to Josie's before, not for lack of trying, Matt and Karen often threw invitations over their shoulders as they left the office that he'd turned down time and time again. Something about the place felt sacred for the threesome that he hadn't wanted to intrude on, and given he couldn't feel the effects of alcohol, he didn't quite see the point in drinking.

It was Foggy Nelson that surprisingly won, if only to prove him wrong.

"You've never played pool?" He was practically bouncing at the idea of it.

"I'm more of a darts guy." Bucky shrugged.

"Okay...well, I've seen your aim and I'm not in it to lose that much money or pride."

"But you will for billiards?" A brow raises, and it should have been Foggy's first clue, but it was missed.

"Obviously, I'll stand a chance if you've never played."

Which is why, three games later, and sixty bucks richer, Bucky was seated at a table, nursing a beer, and Foggy was telling everyone he could that he'd been swindled. Which wasn't far from the truth. He'd spent a lot of down time in cities overseas playing pool with the other soldiers of his regiment. He'd lost a lot of rations before picking up a few tricks and really learning how to play; but he hadn't lied. He hadn't played pool...in about ninety years.

He grins against the mouth of the bottle when Karen sidles up next to the table, and he can tell she's trying very hard to show solidarity for her friend; but the amusement is in her eyes. She's heading out, she tells him, and much to her potential dismay, he won't let her walk home alone.

It's awkward, at first, having the communication skills of a thimble. Karen tries and fails to keep a conversation going, but it's not until they round a corner and come to a street he recognizes that there's a shift. He points to a closed down movie theater, "Steve and I used to sneak in there when we were kids - granted movies weren't like they are today - but I think the owner took pity on him after the first time he chased us out and I had to practically carry Steve after a block. We'd often find the back door cracked open after that."

It probably also helped Bucky stayed after a few times to help clean, or fix one of the projectors or popcorn machines.

"Over there - " He points to a lot that houses a run down building, and because yes, he is babbling now. "That used to be empty. We'd play baseball after school. I destroyed one of my favorite pair of jeans thinking I could slide into home base." He shakes his head, because he had, in fact, touched the plate and won the game, but going home that day and having to show his parents the gaping hole at the side - not so much a win. In fact, his father had broken his arm - they'd told the doctors he'd fallen off his bike trying to show off.

He continues pointing things out, and telling her small stories of his youth, until they come to her building and linger outside. He likes her, but it's not her empathy or even her beauty that really attracts him, it's the challenge in her - the fire, the way she'll snap back at the boys just as quick as they dish it. There's a fight in Karen and he's curious. But it wasn't something he intended to act on, and why he surprises them both with the unconscious way he leans forward and presses his lips to hers for the first time. It is quick, a fleeting brush, and he's leaning back with just as much confusion mirrored on his own face as hers.

"Uhh." The sound is dragged out, looking for purchase, and he's rubbing the back of his head. His confusion morphs into genuine panic and he's already backing away with a nervous laugh. "Yeah, I'm going - g'night." He turns on his heel, and walks away - in the wrong direction of where he's staying, but course correcting now would be a larger embarrassment, so he just keeps walking.

[thomasmastersunithinking]

20 objects

In the image above, you'll see a numbered collection of objects. Nostalgia, in my experience, provides valuable insights into personal growth and identity, especially in the creative realm.

These objects mainly relate to my childhood and significant life moments. While their thematic connections might not be obvious to others, they symbolize my personal growth and its impact on my creative work.

As a creative, these objects deeply influence my work by carrying memories, emotions, and past aspirations. They remind me of my journey from who I once was to who I am today, infusing my creative projects with depth and meaning.

In short, this collection represents the strong link between personal history and creative expression, bridging my past experiences with my ongoing creative narrative.

the tape unused is a remnant my grandfathers many tapes in which he would record family holidays birthdays and any event he felt the need to record. It holds a lot of significance to me as my friends and I have been shooting on old cameras in a way trying to emulate the same memories we look back on and in an attempt to create more visceral memories for our future selves and other.

Marlboro golds a bad habit I thought I would never pick up my Bapak used to smoke so too did his son my uncle and cousin. I always hated seeing other members of my family smoking but there's something about the memories I had of them always seemed so cool smoking while riding a bike reading the paper or tagging.

this is a rosary gifted to meh family at the passing of a distant relative who was a catholic brother upon his passing the other brothers gifted it to my mother and us telling us stories of him and his love and prayers for us before he passed

my first film camera a k1000 I barley use due to several parts being broken. This camera holds significance to me partly because it was the first one I've ever bought but because it was my foray into the analogue world stories of my grandfather and great grandfather with old rolleis and them staring down their viewfinder and seeing their photos from around the world (Kenya, Malaysia, New Guniea, Arizona) gives a different perspective to the world than digital images

An earring I got from a friend from the past im not too sure why I still hold onto it there's no catch in the back the spine is bent but Ii think the memories etched into it from them wearing it will always hold dear

My grandmothers pendant with a photo of my grandfather. It's a memento to me in a weird way of their life the joy theey brought to me and ultimately their unparalleled love for one another. They both passed away when I was six from leaving this world together as they couldn't see one without each other.

a kina from Moititi. My uncle is one of my greatest role models taking me fishing diving teaching me how to drive be a good human. The kina is from a dive I went out on his land on Moititi which I was lucky enough to spend time on during my formative years.

letrasets given to me by a tutor last. I somehow managed to be gifted some letrasets by a tutor and they really opened my eyes to design. Getting to use them in journalling or whilst playing around with ideas has proved really useful in my enjoyment of design as many of my graphic design idols emulate or continue to practice with them

A skelleton of a bird from my cousins families batch in opotiki. I brought this back after a floundering trip and my Mothers kept it for me since in one of her shadowboxes. After my Uncles passing earlier this year it took me back to the days spent out there.

a coin from a century before I was born gifted to me by my grand uncle on my second visit to England. The amount of hands this coin must have passed through the pockets its been in and the things it has bought amazes me to think about.

A ring, it docent hold much significance to me but it's a placeholder of sorts I guess in many ways im trying to imbue some meaning into it over time.

A pin from my grandfather that my mother gifted me after his death. Im unsure of the meaning it may be from his time in the masons.

A old used roll of Kodak I try to shoot mainly on fuji because I love the colours but the old rolls of kodak all of the branding just has this odd nostalgia to it

Fuji film I love the colour the way it looks having the negatives everything about shooting on film.

Four leaf clovers. I like to say im not superstisuos however I can't get around the weird feeling I get when I see someone walk under a ladder break glass or in this case when I find four leaf clovers.

pressed flowers, growing up with two older sisters I got to experience a good amount of pain pressing flowers was not one of them I loved the process when I was a child.

The skin of a python from Malaysia, my grandfather (Bapak) gifted this to me before his passing a six meter long python he shot while in his time in Malaysia. Probably the best show and tell experience I had.

Journal/sketchbook, less full than I want it to be missing pages and in surprisingly good condition. Its hard for me to express myself using words or images a bad trait for a designer which I am attempting to remedy through this books pages.

Coffee mug, I was running out of objects around the house at this point. Recently bought from Asia gallery and probably the most non-eccentric item I could find.

Glug Glug Jug, a gift from my mother an avid collector of all things currently sourcing these odd fish shaped jugs for all of her friends and family.

Im unsure if I may continue with all of these objects as some lack real meaning hence there may be some personnel changes in the coming weeks.