#and so again i just end up wishing i didnt have feelings at all. maybe one day ill achieve that

[neostellarjpg]

inner mono-dialogue

the more time i spend being davepeta with you the more i realize almost every single problem in my life was caused by my obsession with being this unfeeling cool dude

but youre cool already

like in the way that actually matters

youre chill and friendly and just nice and thats all there is to it

youre shamelessly yourself even if everybody around you is a jackass and gives you shit for it

youre similar to jade and john in that way

i really envied that about them

but its different actually being at the control panel and feeling where that earnesty comes from

it makes me wanna match your energy and keep that pawsitivity ball rolling even if it ends up being weird or cringe or whatever

fuck man do you know how exhausting it is building yourself social hoops to leap through all the time and when you trip up even once its suddenly the end of the world

what kinda dumbass does that its like dealing with life in hard mode for no reward

fuck that noise

i like your way better

Nepeta's heart burns and shines inside you.

:33 < thank you :))

:33 < but you know

:33 < i dont think doing things your way is unrewarding

:33 < its like

:33 < a shield!

Dave scrunches up with discomfort.

X33 < i dont mean that in an insulting way!

:33 < the fact is that shields are just purractical sometimes

:33 < it doesnt make you cowardly to hide behind one

:33 < in the same way that it isnt cowardly for a predator to hide in the bushes when stalking prey

:33 < its just a way to make sure you dont get hurt!

:33 < purrsonally i found shields too cumbersome

X33 < im a hunter after all!

:33 < and i guess maybe the same goes for my personality

:33 < its not really that im purrticularly brave for being myself

:33 < i just didnt have a say in the matter in the furst place!

:33 < honestly if i had a choice i would have loved to be more like you dave

:33 < you can befriend people almost effortlessly

:33 < and its beclaws youre also just a nice person

Dave recoils in surprise, but Nepeta passionately pushes forward.

:33 < fur real! i f33l it inside you! theres a really strong sense of empathy there

:33 < its just like mine! just smarter, and a bit more analytical

:33 < whenever we encounter someone mew, its like i f33l you lock onto them, and you gather so many insights into their purrsonality without even trying

:33 < and you can use that to bond with others without giving every part of you away

:33 < which unfortunately

:(( < i never really knew how to do

Nepeta sours with unpleasant feelings. Your brows scrunch together with both pain and sympathy.

Nepeta has a big and complex heart. She tried her best to keep it from spilling over, but it always did in the end. And it was embarrassing. It was embarrassing when your friends dismissed your hobbies or focused in on your strange quirks. It was embarrassing when they revealed they knew about your crush on Karkat that you'd worked so hard to hide. And it hurt whenever he would say mean things about you. He and anyone else.

But you always puffed out your chest and sucked it up. You stuck to your guns no matter what. Because it was fun! The things you liked, the people you liked, were fun, and they made you feel good. Why couldn't anyone else see that? And why did it seem like they never gave a single thought to who you were?

You curl in on yourself. Your chest hurts. You suddenly really miss Equius.

And you miss Rose. You miss Jade. You miss John and Karkat and Aradia and Tavros and Terezi and all the others. You miss all the people you can go outside and see whenever you wish, and you miss all the people that you have no hope of ever seeing again. You feel the choral echo of all the times you've ever felt this need for comfort, this thrumming pain searing hot inside you, like hunger wracking your stomach.

You clench your teeth. You remember being on your bed, curled in blankets, not having eaten a proper meal in days. You remember holding your stomach and sneaking to the kitchen, turning your shoulder at every step to look fearfully behind you, only for your fingers to falter hopelessly on the handle of the refrigerator, knowing there was nothing for you inside.

You shake with anger. You know that feeling. The feeling of being chased by something much bigger than you, a hulking silhouette of menacing strength following your scent through the thicket. You'd clutched a beast carcass to your chest, barely breathing as you stalked clumsily through the trees, performance wavering from exhaustion and hunger.

You'd almost died. You'd almost died often. And then after escaping death so many times, it one day claimed you. Casually. Unflinchingly. And the world beat on without you, leaving you stunned by your own insignificance. You'd looked out onto every preceding moment of your life, wondering if there was anything to truly be proud of in the face of your friends accomplishing all these fantastical things. You'd felt lonely before, but after that, you were truly walled off from every single person you knew.

And now, despite everything, you're alive again. Twofold, together with someone.

A warmth coats the ache inside your body. The two parts of you swirl together, feeling and tasting each other, trying to understand themselves.

It feels like a hug.

[bunnieswithknives]

I feel bad for neglecting Hazel so much, I do have many thoughts about her.. and also a mermaid au that im probably not going to do anything with

[lokh]

ahh when i did some long ass test for personality disorders and the psychologist was like 'you don't get results like this unless u were emotionally neglected. were u emotionally neglected' and I was like Shrug. apparently so

[onewingedangels]

I finished ff7 rebirth

[nomairuins]

bedtime nowww probably ummm today qas not what i wanted it 2 be but its fine. i dont feel negative just a very very very numb day which is almost worse. but only almost 🙏

[brutal-nemesis]

YWDaC: Maybe It’s Not So Fun After All

Hiii here is part 2 of pirate shenanigans I’ll probably do one more to finish this out but it probably won’t be for a while cuz I have some other stuff I wanna work on so enjoy for now ✨

←Previous - Castys Masterlist - Next→

Ingredients: pirate battle, wood splinters in a guy, stitches

The next few weeks were truly a learning experience, and also just an experience. Castys learned far more than he ever thought there was to know about ropes and knots and wind and how to clean things, all while his back slowly hurt less and less. He hadn’t even been whipped that much, but it was still super unfun as an experience, enough to motivate him to be a good little pirate. Well, more like a sailor, they hadn’t done any pirate activities since he was so kindly given a spot on the crew.

And of course when battle did come, he wished he could go right back to the peaceful days of hard labor and yelling.

Kamon had been teaching him to use a sword during their free time, since Castys’s spear wasn’t well suited for combat aboard a crowded ship, but before he even got a chance to use it, the ships had to fire their cannons at each other a bunch. It was loud, somehow way louder than he’d been expecting, and his arms burned from carrying ammunition up from the hold. By the time the fun part started, he was already gonna be exhausted, just great.

His new orders were to take supplies up to the main deck, and he was somehow surprised that there was even more chaos and yelling up here than down below. They were getting pretty close to the other ship now, and it was probably almost time to board them and steal all their shit, which he was actually excited for. Mainly the stealing part.

Just as he set the crate down, there was a loud crack next to him, and his body lit up with all these sharp little pains, like…he looked down, and he was indeed covered in splinters. They were a wonderful variety of sizes, from tiny little ones that weren’t even making him bleed to ones that were as long as his hand, but the worst one had poked completely through his fucking cheek, filling his mouth with the taste of wood and blood, which was a weird combination. Ears ringing, he stumbled away from the destroyed railing, and was just about to start pulling the splinters out before he remembered the medic’s stern warning to not pull splinters out yourself. So he had a cheek piercing for now, hooray.

Before he’d made it back belowdecks, Captain Izogie called for everyone to get ready to board, so nevermind to hauling stuff. Castys pulled out the sword he’d been given, the weight still feeling a little unnatural, but it was all he was gonna get. He saw some dudes climbing up the rigging and swinging over on ropes, but he’d rather just wait and walk over on the plank like a normal person. Was boarding another ship a normal person thing? Okay, really, swinging looked fun, but he didn’t feel like climbing when he was full of holes that were full of wood. Also he didn’t trust himself to land without breaking something.

And then it was his turn to cross the plank, running so he didn’t have time to look down and think about falling into the cold ocean, jumping down into the chaos of the fight, trying his best to weave through the clashing metal and warm spurts of blood, and suddenly he was face-to-face with someone, someone he didn’t recognize, and he raised his sword, but just as he was about to swing he remembered that he’d never fought another human, not for real, and he couldn’t help but hesitate, and they didn’t, they swung, he only jumped back at the last second, it was them or him, he had to fight, remember what he’d learned, remember what it felt like to slice through flesh and hear screams, and it was more familiar once he did it, coming back to him now, his grip steady as he jumped over the body and moved on, belowdecks, rummaging around for valuables, helping his crewmates pry crates open and carry them back to the ship, the wood almost slipping out of his hands, when did they get slick with blood, he wasn’t sure, it was all a haze of back and forth, up and down, fight and slash and stab and dodge and search and carry and he almost walked back across the plank onto the now-sinking ship, all of its contents plundered, all of its crew dead. 

The fight was over, and everything hurt. 

With shaky hands, he tried to put his sword back in its scabbard, but someone stopped him. “Clean your blade, newbie. And then go see the doc. You look like shit.” Castys nodded, wiping the blood from his sword with his shirt before sheathing it and stumbling belowdecks. Maybe he’d get less of a share of the treasure this way, but at the moment he didn’t care. He just wanted the damn splinters out. And the gash in his arm probably needed stitches, which were always his favorite. 

He found Alfyn’s quarters without much trouble, having been there before after he’d been flogged on his first day. The healer was busy tending to people with more pressing wounds, so Castys just sat on the floor and watched. Alfyn’s healing magic was so strange to watch, the way he could just hold his hands out and make flesh rejoin the other flesh super unfamiliar to Castys. Neither of them could use magic back on the islands, so the whole concept was sorta new to him, especially this weird healing stuff. His fingers teased with the splinter through his cheek, wiggling it against his tongue. It would be kinda funny to pull it out and then try to squirt water out of the hole in his cheek, but that would require pulling it out and then finding water and also someone who would think he was funny, which sounded like a lot, so he settled for fucking with it and waiting for Alfyn.

By the time he got to him, Alfyn’s nose was plugged with a rag that was either completely soaked in blood or just red, but maybe it was red because it had been soaked in blood before. He looked Castys up and down, and Castys showed off his arm gash since it was very painful. Alfyn nodded, beckoning Castys to stand. “Nothing you’ve got’s pressing enough to use my magic on, but I’ll still get you fixed up. You’re…Castys, right?”

“That’s my name.” Castys sat on the little table, the spots of blood on it soaking into his pants, which kind of sucked, but what wasn’t dirty on this ship, anyway? “So why can’t I take out the splinters myself?”

Alfyn laughed a little, coming back over with tweezers and a metal bucket that had a bunch of other splinters in it. “I don’t trust you lot to get them out completely. If you do it wrong, little bits can get left behind.” He then started pulling out Castys’s splinters the right way, which seemed to be to do it slow and to use tweezers, but Castys could be wrong since he was a little distracted by all of his little wounds hurting all over again. Alfyn did the one in his cheek last, and once it was out Castys poked at the hole left behind with his tongue despite the pain, which got a sigh out of Alfyn instead of a laugh.

“Please don’t make the wound worse, Castys.”

“Sorry.” He was then a very still and patient and well-behaved boy while Alfyn cleaned all of his wounds, arm gash included. Whatever liquid Alfyn was pouring on everything stung a lot, but he sat still so he didn’t make things more difficult for Alfyn, who looked really damn tired now that Castys was paying attention.

“Alright, your arm and cheek are going to need stitches, so please keep holding still like you’ve been doing.”

“They used to call me statue boy.” Kind of funny considering the time he almost did get turned into a statue, but that was a joke for just him. He clenched his fists and Alfyn approached with the needle and thread. He’d been through this more than once, he’d be fine, it was all things he’d felt before. The sensation of the needle poking into his skin, the tug of thread following behind, the hand on his chin…

“Hold still.”

“I’m trying, but it’s hard not to laugh at the faces you’re making.”

“I’m trying to focus here, Castys, come on. You don’t want this to be a super nasty scar, do you?”

“Uh…I don’t really care. As long as I can still eat food and stuff what does it matter? I don’t see anyone else besides you, and I don’t think you care either.”

“I-I don’t, but…maybe there will be other people, someday?”

“Even then, whatever. If they’re scared off by a scar on my face they’re probably losers, anyway.”

“So you’ll fit right in, then!”

“And yet you still hang out with me all of the time.”

“Yeah, ‘cause there’s literally no one else, dumbass. It’s not like I have options.”

“Sucks to suck. I’m…I’m okay with just you, though.”

“...Me too, Castys. But that might change if you don’t sit still.”

His scars hurting more than his actual wounds was stupid, but it was certainly happening. He left Alfyn’s quarters in sort of a daze, trying to bury everything the stitches had brought to the surface. Focus on anything and everything else, on the awful food, on talking with Kamon, on getting more respect from the other crewmates, on drinking stolen ale, on the share of the treasure he was promised once they reached land.

But that night, lying awake in his hammock as the crew snored around him, his scars still hurting, the pain cutting through the warm haze of the alcohol, he didn’t feel any less alone.

Next→

Castys Cult: @as-a-matter-of-whump @blackrosesandwhump @fanmanga1357-blog @thehopelessopus @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @hearse-song @muddy-swamp-bitch @whumpasaurus101 @yet-another-heathen @galaxywhump @starnight-whump @his-unspoken-words @misspelledwitch @suspicious-whumping-egg @pumpkin-spice-whump @painsandconfusion @i-can-even-burn-salad @befuddled-calico-whump @whumpinggrounds @whump-queen @whumpedydump  @theelvishcowgirl

[ekuns]

its nice that nobody looks at my posts here, only my reblogs. i dont mean that in a sarcastic way either. i can write whatever i want and theres a 5% chance that anyone will see it unless its art i tag. very unlike twitter

[thebigqueer]

its so funny to me that she was like 'you deserve better' because little does she even know she genuilnely was best. like no one is ever going to top her. and i know with my full heart that she will find better than me and im supposed to want that for her but i really really dont. cuz i know theres so much better than me but theres no one better than her

[getoutofmytardis]

insane that i’m the biggest disappointment of a child for smoking weed but the child that’s emotionally abusive is fine

[fanonsupremecy]

Mickey they could never make me hate you. Even WHEN you were the dirtiest white boy in America. V THAT MAY BE TRUE but he's also soooo pretty so he gets a pass cuz he's so babyboy and babygirl and an angel that deserved so better like fucking love and compassion and pride and adoration from his fucking shithead father. (if you can't tell I'm on my season 2 shit) honestly he was so much more dirty white boy tm in season 1 tho...

”I came out for you, you piece of shit”

YES YOU DID MICKEY. YES THE FUCK YOU DID.

[slutforleeminho]

heyy, i love your work, i was wondering if you could write a fic based on the song ‘the other woman’ by lana del rey where the reader is the other woman. you could do it about any member :)

this is my first ever request since i’ve been on this app so i hope i did it right 😭

The other Woman • Hwang Hyunjin

thank you so much! i’m so happy that your first ask was on my acc! i hope you like it<3

warnings: suggestive(no explicit smut), arguing, infidelity, toxic relationship, plot twist at the end;)

"I have to go, beautiful." Hyunjin leaned down to kiss your forehead after pulling his pants up and buttoning them. He placed his hand on the side of your face, gently caressing your cheek with his thumb. "She'll get suspicious if I stay any longer."

This was normal for you, yours and Hyunjin's little routine. He'd take you out to dinner and treat you like a princess, paying for your meals and anything else you could possibly want. Holding your hand and taking you places you've only dreamed of going, then he'd take you home --your home-- and he'd fuck you like there was no tomorrow. And then he'd leave to do the same things with his wife.

You never understood why he pursued you the way he did when he had someone at home to take care of, but you didn't care enough to bring it up. Why would you? You have everything a young woman could ever want; a young, handsome, rich man who gives you anything you want. But only a few times a week. It's okay though, that just gives you plenty of time to do things that you enjoy like reading and going to museums and admiring the beautiful pieces of art that you wished you could just shove in your bag and take home with you.

"Okay," You said with a tired smile. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Actually, I meant to tell you, I won't be able to come over tomorrow. Apparently, Violet has a family reunion, and she wants me to accompany her." He stated as he pulled his shirt over his head and grabbed his bag from the chair in the corner of your room.

Violet. Such a pretty name for such a lucky woman.

"Oh." Was all you replied with.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No, of course not, these things happen," You knew exactly what you were getting yourself into as soon as you entered this relationship, if it can even be called that. "Just text me when you can. let me know when you want to meet up."

"Of course." He smiled.

He kissed you deeply before he left that night, almost making you forget that he had someone at home waiting for him, and you would be left here, cold and alone.

That text that he promised didnt come until a week later.

"I miss the way you feel wrapped around me." Was all that the message contained. You liked to imagine he was talking about your warm embrace, but you knew that wasn't true. He just wanted to feel an unfamiliar body underneath his.

You weren't sure how you ended up like this. When you first met Hyunjin he was sweet and caring, attentively listened to you while you complained about your bad day at work and massaged away all the soreness in your muscles. You can't remember the last time he's taken you out to dinner or bought you flowers. Now you were just his escape from his nagging wife.

You put up with the constant shame and guilt you felt for being with someone who already had their someone, because you thought that maybe his love for you would grow and that maybe someday Hyunjin would realize that you're the one he wants to spend every waking moment with and not someone else. But as your love for him grew your patience shrunk until one day you snapped.

Hyunjin was collecting his things after he had finished what he came here for, which was to get his dick wet and nothing more. "I won't see you again after tonight."

Hyunjin stopped in his tracks and stared at you with wide eyes. "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean I deserve more than this. I deserve to have someone's full attention and all of their heart." You held yourself together, determined not to cry Infront of him. He doesn't deserve your tears.

"Baby, what are you even talking about?" He knelt down in front of you and placed his hand on your shaking knees. "Of course, I love you."

"No, you don't," You shook your head. "You love my body, you love having someone at your disposal, someone you can use only for your own pleasure. If you loved me even in the slightest there wouldn't be another woman getting the treatment that I crave so fucking much." All the emotion you've kept stuffed away finally revealed itself in the form of a single tear running down your cheek.

It was silent for a long time before Hyunjin spoke. "I'll leave her." You snapped your head up so fast that it hurt. "If that's what you want than I'll do it." The way he worded it as if it was your choice whether his marriage ended or not made you sick to your stomach, but you couldn't deny that you felt a flutter of hope in your chest that maybe this didn't have to end after all. But you're smarter than that. He says this now, but he doesn't mean it, and even if he did you wouldn't be able to sleep at night knowing that a woman who did nothing wrong was out there most likely crying herself to sleep while your warm and safe in the love of her life's arms.

"No, be with her. I'll be okay." That was a complete lie but even after everything he's done, you still don't want him to worry about you.

"Please don't do this to me. I love you and I want to be with you. He held on to your legs tighter.

"Funny, isn't that what you told her when you vowed in front of God and everyone that your love for her would be eternal." His mouth snapped shut and his hands left your legs before he stood. He leaned down and before you could register what was happening his lips were on yours. You immediately reciprocated, leaning forward and pressing yourself closer into him. He was so intoxicating, the way his tongue glided with yours so smoothly had you in a trance; you snapped out of it when he placed his right knee on the bed beside you and started pushing you backwards. "No!" you shoved him away. He stumbled backwards but regained his balance quickly. "I'm not doing this with you, Hyunjin. I can't do this anymore, its wrong."

"Since when do you have morals?" His voice was louder this time, he was pissed.

"I've always had them, but I put them aside because I love you!" It was your turn to stand up and look him square in the face. "But the longer we do this the more I realize that this isn't love, its obsession and its toxic. You never loved me Hyunjin you were curious about infidelity, and I was an easy target because my standards were so fucking low that I actually settled for you."

"Fuck this, I don't have to sit here and listen to you degrade me like this." He grabbed his bag and left, but not without slamming the door behind him.

~

The past month has been hell. After laying in your bed for an entire week you decided to pack up all of Hyunjins things and throw them out, the smell of him that was radiating off of them was making you sick to your stomach every time you walked in the room. And then you went to the mall to treat yourself to a new outfit, you wanted something that didn't have any memories of him attached to it. A trip to your favorite coffee shop followed after that. you hadn't been her in a while and you missed the smell of fresh espresso as you walked in the door.

After getting yourself your favorite -a butter pecan macchiato and a small triple chocolate brownie (they were out of doughnuts)- You sat in the best spot in the entire shop, in a little booth in the corner right next to the window, where you could watch the leaves that had no color left in them fall to the ground only to get trampled over by the passing pedestrians. The leaves reminded you a lot of yourself in a way, but you hoped you never had to fall again.

"Hi," a voice pulled you out of your thoughts. You turned to find yourself looking up at a very handsome young man. His hair was blonde, and it came down to his shoulders. he had an apron on, and a big smile plastered across his face, little freckles decorated his cheeks. "I saw you bought one of the brownies, it's a new recipe I tried, and I wanted to ask if you enjoyed it."

"Oh," You blinked up at him. "Um yeah it's really good, maybe my new favorite."

"Oh, thank god," He let out a sigh of relief. "I was worried that it wouldn't be any good. See a couple of the ingredients I use were sold out, so I had to substitute-" He stooped in the middle of his sentence. "I'm sorry, I'm rambling. I tend to do that a lot."

"No, it's okay," You huffed out a laugh. He was so cute. "Now I'm curious about what ingredients were sold out." You joked.

He smiled widely at you and stretched his hand out. "I'm Felix."

You hesitated but took his hand anyway. "Nice to meet you, Felix."

PART TWO HERE

THANK YOUUU ALL FOR A THOUSAND FOLLOWERS I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO FEEL 😭

taglist: @katsukis1wife @sungprotector @seung-mine @favieee @soephiphanymain @z4hir @minnieslover @kjr-army @caitlyn98s @bangchansbae @fawnpeaks @yumiblogs

[bahrtofane]

here we go again - pt.1

pt. 2 , pt.3

jude x fem!reader , trent x fem!reader

empty promise after another leaves you walking in the cold. alone. on valentines day. youre never speaking to another player again.

word count : 1K+

watch it : mild fluff, heavy on the angst, situationships, toxic relationships, Jude is kinda an ass in this one sorry, not very happy ending

happy valentines day LOL

—--

you and Jude have a complex history, complex relationship. 

you aren't officially together but at the same time you are exclusive. it's odd, but it's what works at the moment, (even if you wish he would just grow the balls to make you his already.)

you get he's a busy guy, top player both club and international. you aren't going to force him to choose you or make him get with you while his career is soon about to peak. 

your wishes for more soon fade into the background as he presses gentle kisses into your skin. he called you a few hours prior, wondering if you wanted to keep him company while he binges movies and orders you a pizza. you said yes, maybe a little foolishly. but it's hard to stay away from him. 

he's addicting. maybe it's a rush of being with someone whose whole existence is so grand. maybe it's the fact of knowing you have what millions of others crave for. you don't know, you try not to read into the intricacies. bad habit. 

so here you are, face pressed up against his chest while you lay side by side on this stupidly large couch, action movie playing, your pizza done, belly full and body warm. 

"what are you thinking about love?" he mumbles. 

"you." you shrug.

"me ?" he chuckles. 

you hum, wiggling deeper into the pile of blankets. 

"i've been thinking about you. and us." he confesses, almost shy. the movie playing in front of you has long fizzled out of your attention. 

hey might as well rip the band aid off. 

"me too," you hum, "why aren't we official again?"

you feel him sigh dramatically, "because my career."

you squint. there goes the same lousy explanation. "you could put more i don't know, thought into us."

he shifts under the blankets , "valentine's day is coming up. dont worry love i have it all planned out." he assures you. 

"oh yeah ?" you tease

"just you wait, the best valentine's day ever." he kisses the top of your head soundly.

—--

worst fucking valenties day of your life. you don't remember being more livid a day in your life. you cant remember the last time so much pure rage burned through you, hot enough to hurt. you didn't think it was humanly possible to clench your fist so tight youve dug into your palm hard enough to draw blood. 

your head hurts, your legs hurt, you think your arm is starting to bruise from where you were shoved into a table on "accident" but what would Jude know. he was so busy taking pictures with models and laughing at corny jokes while you kept yourself company. texting and calling didnt work and he didn't even try to give you any attention the whole night, you can't keep doing this with him. 

"you can't just run off-" Jude shouts from somewhere behind you. 

"or what Jude. or fucking what." you seeth, not bothering to face him, storming out into the night. 

It's your fault for trusting him all those nights ago. your fault for falling for the same shit over and over. 

he sprints to catch up to you, "i don't know why you're being like this."

you stop dead in your tracks, "oh i don't know, let's think. you didn't tell me your escorts would be there. and to top it all fucking off they have to nerve to be on my ass the whole night, not letting me get anywhere near you even through we walked in together?"

he doesn't respond and you half the mind not to punch the shit out of him, walking further away from the club you just came from, heels clanking against the sidewalk so hard it hurts, pulling on your dress so you dont trip and fall. maybe you should let it go so you can fall flat on your face. that would be a better ending to the night than seeing his face. silly stupid you thinking this would work. 

"happy fucking valentines day huh Jude. you take me to a damn club, you ignore me the whole night, and you spend all your time surrounded by other women who might as well just suck you off right then and there." you yell, hell if anyone hears. you want them too, you want him to be as humiliated as you feel. 

Bellinghams date thrown away the moment you step inside, ignored and tossed for some common whores. oh you can't wait to see where your face ends up online after tonight. you can see the headlines now. 

he grabs your arm, making you face him, "love listen-"

"no, you dont get to fucking do that anymore. you cant keep sweet talking your way out of things when you fuck up. why can't you just pretend to care" your voice shakes, you can feel tears brimming in your eyes.

"i'm not trying to talk my way out of it, i'm trying to explain." he tries.

you yank your arm out of his grip, "i'm not listening anymore, im done. all i asked was one day for us, just valentines day to make things work. and you showed me you dont care enough for that." 

"please, let me fix this." he pleads.

"its too late."

"i wanted things to work so fucking bad, and you humiliated me Jude. i imagined a nice dinner, hell i would have settled for take out and a few kisses. that's how bad i want things to work, that's how bad i wanted you." you tremble. 

"please my darling. let's talk about this. come back inside and i'll show everyone that you are mine," he holds a hand out to you, waiting. silently pleading with each breath he takes. 

the street lights dance across his skin as for a moment you almost believe him. for a moment you think about stepping back inside with him. you can't do that to yourself, not again. 

"no, iim done. don't follow me, don't call me dont text nothing. i want nothing more to do with you." your firm, final. swallowing the lump that builds in your throat, youd be damned if he sees you cry after this fucking shit show.

he stops in his tracks at this, not bothering to try and stop you. 

it hurts more than it should to leave him behind you, but you honest to god can not keep up with his lifestyle. 

all those articles and rumors were right you suppose, he's an arrogant stuck up bastard with too much money to know what to do with, too cocky for his own good and destroys anything good that comes his way. you hope he's happy without you. 

[muikitoo]

Their favourite physical part of you!

Rottmnt x gn! reader

Warnings:

Includes both sfw and nsfw(not direct action) the nsfw only goes for the future versions of the turtles!

A/N:

I finally posted! Shocker i know. I didnt have any ideas but this js popped up cuz i used to love hc like these. I've never written for gn reader so pls give some tips, ty!

Sfw:

Donnie

- This dude likes your hands. He likes when you hold hands and how they fit perfectly in his.

- he LOVES to play with them too, especially when he has nothing to do or when hes stressed.

- Even tho he isnt big on physical touch, he LOVES when u hold his face. But i feel like he would actually enjoy it as long as it isnt unexpected or when hes irritated!

- he would probably try and sneakily hold ur hand around family without anyone noticing bc he will not hear the end of it (*cough cough* Leo.)

- probably zones out while watching u do anything with ur hands (paint, write, even fiddle with random stuff)

- you probably have him melting if u ever try and give his shoulders a gentle massage with your hands

- in short, he loves ur hands and holds them any chance he gets cuz hes touch starved af.

Bonus: you guys probably have some morse code and he taps his fingers a certain way if he feels uncomfortable and wants you to leave the room with him.

Leo

- i think its obvious he would like your hair.

- He loves playing with your hair when you guys are cuddling.

- will style your hair. Maybe even ask Mikey to join in too. Youll probably end up with atleast 50 hair clips by the end of it.

- if u have long pretty hair u bet he WILL DRAMATICALLY SOB once u cut it off, but he loves it regardless.

- melts and grins like an idiot if u dye it blue. Brags to his brothers about it.

- "guys look! See? See? They love me so much they dyed their hair blue!"

- low-key jealous u have hair..

- I also hc that he loves ur arms too!

- oh lord dont get me started on the arms. If you're a bit muscular and u start flexing/training he would be dead. Gone. In the grave.

- even so he would love to have you wrap your arms around him

- dude wants to be babied so badly

Mikey

- ADORES your smile and your eyes.

- he loves how your eyes lit up when youre excited. Or the way a smile keeps up on your lips when you talk about something your passionate about.

- your sweet giggles are heavenly atp.

- loves loves loves loves the way u praise him when he creates something.

- you have this boy head over heels.

- the way you look at him with complete love in your eyes makes him want to sob on the SPOT.

- you're so adorable he just wants to kiss u on the spot (cuteness aggression atp)

- he js wants to see you happy :(

Raph

- i feel like he would also like your hands. Theyre so small compared to his.

- Loves everything atp, tho he does get scared. Especially if you're smaller than him. Hes so scared that he'll crush you!

- probably likes your cheeks.

- bro would squish and cup them then just slightly nuzzle your noses.

- gets flustered when you cup his cheeks too

NSFW‼️ Aged up!

If you do not wish to see any of this, please exit!

Thighs, chest or ass?

F! Donnie

- if i have to be completely 100% honest? He doesnt care about any. At all. Just loves you.

- but if i had to give an answer for sake of these hc? thighs. No words. Just thighs.

- loves it when you crush his head between them.

- will grip your thighs, leaving slight marks but not enough to actually hurt you. He doesnt want that.

- loves leaving marks and kisses on them.

- if hes stressed because of a failed project, he'll just lay between your thighs in your shared bed. Occasionally giving a small nibble here and there.

- If you're wearing short shorts, good luck.☠️ Do not expect slow and passionate Donnie.

F! Leo

- all of the above.

- mostly an ass and chest guy.

- He would probably slap your ass occasionally, but not hard enough to hurt you. Again, he hates that.

- but if you beg him to do that? He'll be hesitant but if you beg hard enough he might.

- leaves bite marks.

- I did say he loves your arms and when you flex them, but he also loves your chest.

- your gender doesnt matter. He notices you panting and your chest rising up and down?

- Lord. This man does not know is he wants to dominate you or be dominated.

- Loves trailing teasing kisses and slight bites up and down your chest.

- Loves to cum on your chest and ass. He thinks you look so pretty.

- still wants to shove his face in your thighs tho

F! Mikey

- Again, he probably doesnt care either. He loves you regardless of your body.

- He just wants to make you feel loved.

- But again, for the sake of this - i think he'd be a chest and thighs guy.

- Loves laying on your chest, loves leaving kisses and bites.

- nuzzles his face either on your chest or on the crook of your neck, inhaling your sweet scent.

- hes so sweet, but will shamelessly cum on your chest. Especially when youre giving him head.

- he loves your thighs, doesnt care if theyre small or big.

- he thinks theyre so soft<3

F! Raph

- Waist. And belly. Forget everything above, just waist.

- Again, bros scared he will crush you. Especially since hes much much much larger now.

- He really doesn't want to hurt you :(

- He loves to grab your waist. Its so tiny compared to his giant hands.

- Dont get me started with the belly. Chubby or not he loves squishing the soft flesh on your belly.

- covers it with his cum.

- He loves it.

Important!

I just wanted to say these are not meant to be accurate, these are js what i think the rise turtles would like physically! I struggled a LOT with mikey and raph.

[papaya-twinks]

hi i saw your request open uhm can i have lando angst? tysm! 🫶🏻

soo maybe lando meet someone new while he was travelling with his friends without you, and at first he didnt even want to admit that he already falls for her bc he still wants you and maybe this is just a phase

but ofc you notice that he is acting weird lately so you confront him or you found out by yourself 😔

Warnings: Brief Smut, Angst, Cheating

Pairing: Lando Norris x fem!reader

There was no doubt in saying that you trusted Lando. With your entire heart. He was an amazing and loving boyfriend, and he loved you as well. 

Y/N’s POV

Lando had left yesterday for his Grand Prix, I couldn’t go with him unfortunately, I had to deal with the stupidity that was work. Of course, I’d watch my boyfriend on the TV, I wouldn’t miss his race for the world. Lando meant an awful lot to me after all, and oh how glad I was that he reciprocated those feelings!

Lando’s POV 

I didn’t mean to fall for her. I’m not talking about Y/N. I mean Miura. I don’t even know how I did it - she’s nothing compared to my girlfriend, but there was something about her that was almost enticing. Max had introduced her to me and she was  one of Pietra’s friends, not that I cared. And she definitely felt the same way. It was just a phase clearly. 

Y/N was the one I loved. She was the one I’d message every night and every morning, she was the one I wanted. My phone dinged, interrupting my plethora of questions and my train of thoughts, as I picked up the device. It was Max, again. He wanted to hang out before the party. Miura would be there. She shouldn’t have even been the part that broke me and made me want to go. I should have gone for my best mate, not her. 

Third Person POV

Lando ended up choosing a simple yet sophisticated outfit, a plain white shirt, three buttons undone at the top and a pair of black dress trousers, with a few chains and rings. And as soon as he got there, the first person he locked eyes with? Miura. And she looked gorgeous, a slim black dress hugging her curves. Fuck, Y/N looked better, you had the same dress, but it hugged your body and showed you off way more than it did for the girl in front of him. 

Lando’s POV 

I missed Y/N - I wish she’d have come with me. We would’ve spent the whole night together, partying, grabbing drinks, then I’d fuck her pretty little pussy, have her writhing and begging for an orgasm. She’d look so gorgeous, y’know, taking my cock. She always does. So fuck knows genuinely, fuck knows, how I ended up back in some random ass hotel, my clothes dumped somewhere and Miura pressed against me.

I felt like I wanted it. Like I wanted her. But I couldn’t get the thoughts out my head, I wished it was Y/N, I couldn’t imagine anyone except her, beneath me, taking me so well. Miura’s moans weren’t anything on the pretty sounds that came from my pretty girl. What the fuck was this? Where was my own girlfriend? This was a mistake. “Miura, I can’t,” I said, pulling out of her quickly as she frowned, her feeling fading quickly at the loss of contact.

“Lando, what d’you mean? You don’t want this?” she asked, trying to push me back into her. “No, I have a girlfriend,” I frowned, pushing her away lightly and picking up my clothes. “What?” her sugary tone immediately faded. “Fuck her, Lando,” she said, fixing her mistake, but I was no longer interested. “Rather her than you,” I said, the spite in my voice was evident. And I meant it. I thought I could just pretend it never happened, Y/N didn’t need to know.

Y/N’s POV

I was really confused when Lando came back. Usually he’d come back, exhausted, body limp from all the things he’d been up to, and he’d let me wrap my arm round him. I’d hold him and let him tell me everything, and I’d let him fuck the stress out. It was like a continuous cycle. But he didn’t do that. He didn’t even…acknowledging me.

Maybe the race had been stressful, I wouldn’t know, not being a driver and I didn’t want to make assumptions. “Lando, baby, are you alright?” I asked, walking quietly into her room. He jumped, really violently, looking up at me. “Y-yeah, I’m fine, Y/N, please leave,” he said, slamming his phone down. What the fuck? This was suspicious, now. Not even confusing anymore.

Lando’s POV

I felt horrible. She looked so hurt, and somewhat suspicious. She had every right to be. “Lando? Are you talking to someone?” she asked slowly. I was talking to Martin, yes. “Martin,” I muttered, not even looking her in the eye. “About?” she asked, no, demanded. This was one of the things I found so attractive about her. She’d have such…power, to get what she wanted. It was hot. “Stuff,” I said, wow, what an answer.

“Alright,” she rolled her eyes, turning around to leave. I couldn’t stop myself. “Y/N,” I said, making her stop, “I fucked someone,”. The silence was deafening. It was almost like I could feel her heart drop. “What?” she asked quietly, her strong faced faltering as her eyes widened in disbelief. “I…Y/N, you heard me,” I said, I couldn’t bring myself to say it. Not to Y/N.

Y/N’s POV

“Lando, that’s a funny joke,” i laughed, frowning at my boyfriend. “I…I wish it was,” he muttered not meeting my eyes. “W-wow, Lando,” I said, not having any words. There was silence. “Was it good?” I asked, making him look up. “What?” he asked, frowning slightly. “Was it good? Did she…feel good?” I asked, genuinely curious. “No. No one could feel as good as you,” he said, truthfully. “Okay,” I said. “Y/N, please don’t leave, it was a mistake-,” I cut him off. “Oh, a mistake,” I said, and for a second, he believed I was forgiving him.

“Let me go fuck Max then,” I snorted, his face falling. I felt bad for him. But he cheated. He deserved it. No matter how much he apologised. I felt like I deserved better. “You deserve better,” he said, echoing my thoughts. “I know,” I said, turning away. “So much better,” he continued, “more than I can even dream to give you,”. I didn’t say anything. “Loved it til it ended, Lando. Although I’m not sure it ended for you,”.

Lando’s POV

Those words hurt. I deserve it. I don’t deserve anything. Especially not Y/N.

[mayearies]

✩ ABC’S

sfw alphabet with miles g. genre: fluffy hcs

—‘A’ IS FOR AFFECTION (how affectionate are they?) pretty affectionate with his s/o even if he can be awkward sometimes, takes some time getting close to someone again. if you’re in public, he would mainly hold your hand. maybe sneak in a hug or kiss once in a while if he’s feelin’ handsy. when recieving affection, he’s always open towards it. even if it makes him a little embarassed at moments (mainly in public).

—‘B’ IS FOR BESTFRIEND (what are they like as a bestie?) once he get comfy with you, he the type to play with you but also have serious talks to. he would like to stay close to you and hang out with you a lot. he’s also really good at rps (rock paper scissors) and shadow boxing, you gettin’ bodied fo sho ‼️

—‘C’ IS FOR CUDDLES (what is their cuddling schedule?) he likes contact with you, preferably skin to skin so expect his hands up your back or your stomach. he can be both a big spoon or a little spoon, he just wants to hold you (he will be a little spoon most times which you will tease him about). one cuddle sesh a day is required for him to function.

“baby? where’s my hugs n’ kisses? you aint mad at me, right?”

—‘D’ IS FOR DOMESTIC (settling down? how will they be helping out around?) he would wait to get a fiancée, let alone a wife. but of course he would want to settle down with you. he loves you. a pretty decent home cook, nothing special. he would watch his ma make pasteles so it’s one of the dishes he can perfect. he tolerates cleaning. doesnt like it but doesn’t fully hate it.

—‘E’ IS FOR ENDING (how does breaking up go?) would absolutely try to avoid arguments all he can. depends on the reason why you two are splitting, but he will spill his feelings about the relationship out to you. in his head. he doesn’t enjoy speaking his thoughts very much and just feels it’ll escalate shit. though, he would wish you well.

—‘F’ IS FOR FIANCÉE (how committed are they to you?) puts his commitment to you over anything else. though he claims he is not in a rush to marry you and that it could wait, but at the same time he be talkin’ about baby names and what a dream it would be to marry someone like you.

—‘G’ IS FOR GENTLE (how gentle are they?) he’s gentle on most occasions. his rbf and cold aura can be misleading. the craves your touch and your kisses. however, he can be a little on the rough side. for example, his mental state. it isn’t the best with his dad being dead and being the prowler, but you make it more bearable with just your presence. he can also be on the rougher side by squeezing places he knows only belong to him (neck, thighs, waist, etc.)

—‘H’ IS FOR HUGS (how does their hugging schedule work?) he dont mind them. he just dont like the long ones. makes him uncomfortable in some way. he doesn’t do them that often, but when he does they’re really memorable and soft.

—‘I’ IS FOR I LOVE YOU (how quick do they say i love you?) waits a little long before pulling the big ‘l word’. i wouldnt describe him as head over heels for you, but he’s in love.

—‘J’ IS FOR JEALOUSY (what are they like when they’re jealous?) oh boy, can this man get jealous. like, hella jealous. if someone so much as stare too long at you, he’ll glare at them while bringing you closer towards him. touching you? a line nobody can cross. that shit is a death wish. his mami, not yours.

—‘K’ IS FOR KISSES (how does their kiss schedule work?) hold me back i finna go wild on this one. though you’re probably his first relationship like ever, he didnt know how to kiss at first. as time went on though, his kisses got really passionate and filled with longing. everytime he kisses you, he misses you just a little bit less cause he knows you’re here. you’re here to stay. you’re his. he would kiss you anywhere. your least favorite part? kissed. your favorite part? consider it done, bae. he likes cheek kisses a lot. he doesn’t know why, though. he also really likes looking at your eyes when he’s done kissing you, he likes eye contact in general. if you are avoiding it or simply looking away from him, he’ll snap his fingers in your face and hold your chin as you turn towards him.

“ma. look at me. i won’t ask twice.”

—‘L’ IS FOR LITTLE ONES (how are they around kids?) not a fan of kids, they’re too noisy. he’s really awkward with them because he internally just thinks they’re little brats, but he also knows they’re stupid. his kid though? he will adore them so fucking much you might have to separate him.

—‘M’ IS FOR MORNINGS (how do your morning routines go?) he wakes up whenever you wake up. your morning routine is basically his, only that he adds a few more steps to it. those ‘few more steps’ being holding you for a solid five or so minutes before you carry on with your early rising.

—‘N’ IS FOR NIGHTS (how does your night routine go?) much like the mornings, his night routine is similar to yours. except, sometimes you dont even finish the whole thing because he wants your time and attention to himself before he drifts off to sleep.

—‘O’ IS FOR OPEN (when will they become more personal?) probably on the third or fourth date. the first two he would want to know more about you. but, he would drop little things he was interested in too.

—‘P’ IS FOR PATIENCE (how patient are they?) he doesn’t get upset that easily, with you atleast. don’t push him too far with your smart mouth, though. that’s what can really piss him off sometimes.

“the fuck you think you talkin’ to? tone down that attitude fo’ me.”

—‘Q’ IS FOR QUIZZES (how much would they remember about you?) he would remember the things that intrugied him about you, but he wouldnt remember every single thing. that’s how he knew what to buy you if he wanted to surprise you.

—‘R’ IS FOR REMEMBER (whats their favorite moment?) he loves them all equally, frankly if he had to choose he couldn’t.

—‘S’ IS FOR SECURITY (how protective are they?) pretty fuckin’ protective of you. and you love it. sometimes, he would stalk you just to see how you were doing or if you were okay. he just doesn’t want to lose someone again, he hopes you understand.

—‘T’ IS FOR TRY (how much effort do they put into your relationship?) he tries to make an effort into planning dates but those plans often get spoiled by his alter. he will always make it up to you, though. no matter what.

—‘U’ IS FOR UGLY (whats one of their flaws?) lying. he doesnt like to lie to you, but it keeps you safe. it got to the point where he would lie about little things on accident, like taking out the trash.

—‘V’ IS FOR VANITY (how insecure are they about their looks?) not a lot. if you think he looks good, then he looks good. sometimes he wonders how he even managed to pull someone like you.

“whatever, amor. if you think i look good, then i look good. whatever you say goes.”

—‘W’ IS FOR WHOLE (would they feel incomplete without you?) yes. nothing more.

—‘X’ IS FOR XTRA (random hc about them?) he behaves like a cat sometimes without even knowing it.

—‘Y’ IS FOR YUCK (whats something they dont like in a partner?) he probably doesnt like loud noises. yes, he does ride a motorcycle but he probably wears earplugs to help with the noise.

—‘Z’ IS FOR ZZZ (what are their sleeping habits?) he’s naturally a light sleeper, so anything faint could wake him up. something he does when you sleep with him is that he would hold you so close and tight that you once had a dream you fell and broke your back. and a actually felt that pain in real life. yikes. another habit he has is playing with your hair subconciously and muttering things about you in his sleep. you both have woken up to it multiple times.

© mayeluvsu 1610 version

[gil-notskajla]

im thinking over and over again abt micah and cayde and damn,, that entry where she found her human memory brain scan is fucking me up.

she knew cayde for so long, even before he was vanguard, even before andal was vanguard probably! and he knew her, he knew all his hunters very well, as he said "you must know your hunters!" "watch everyone's back". with her ghost caring gig she was known and he was a leader so everyone knew him.. and…. they were just living like that, having no idea who they are to eachother. cayde was literally building significant chunk of his entire identity around a vague memory of her. and then when he died, one of last things he hoped for right before was to see her again.

and only couple of years later when crypt got discovered she realised who he, the guy who was there all along for all these decades, if not centuries, was. and that he was the person who "saved her". from boredom, from isolation, from how much exoprogram broke her family and from crisis of identity. he was her home and she was his.

they were family and they didnt realise that in time and she was left alone with that knowledge. she could perhaps share this information with mihaylova but does it make it any better? it was only relevant for her and cayde, who died tragically never knowing what he did for her and she was stuck unable to ever thank him. and he could never learn that his ace wasnt just a coping mechanism made up by breaking, desperate mind of suffering, lonely exo, but that she was real. ace is real, alive, well, smart, compassionate, helpful, and loves him. and misses him. and she maybe wouldnt be any of it all, maybe she wouldnt even be here if not for him.

crow's accidental wish gave cayde back to us and gave him a chance to apologize but the longer i think about it the more i feel like it was even a bigger blessing for micah than it could ever be for us. she finally had a chance to get it off her chest, and, if we assume she told cayde all of it, it was a blessing for him too. how validating it must have felt to learn that presumed falsehood (as is the case with maya) you chose to believe, used to build a better you, treasured and called upon in your last moments is real after all? not only that but feelings are mutual.

since ghost quests happen about 3 days before alliance attack and micah together with cayde left the comms several times to have private conversations i chose to believe they had this talk. i could not imagine a more complete ending for cayde than learning that ace was and is real and better resolution to this situation for micah than taking this weight off her shoulders.

excuse me i need to cry.. ♤