#and slowly embracing his evil side and becoming a villain

[animeaandp]

[emptying drafts-88 to go]

MHA Prompt

Aizawa’s wife forgets him (Wanted to do so much more with this, sad it didn’t work out)

Captured by the league with the intent to transform you like they did to Oboro

You're rescued before the transformation can be completed

No physical damage is done but mentally you weren't the same

you flip flop between yourself and a programmed villain

Aizawa was committed to staying by your side and had total faith that the partial effects could be reversed

You tried your hardest but the following year was turbulent. The outburst and fits created messes sometimes too big to hide from you once you turned back to normal, making you feel guilty and like a burden.

The doctor explained that you were being affected in a way that was somewhere in between of a split personality and alzheimer’s. Slowly this switch would continue to take over; overriding your natural state of mind until you eventually become this other person.

A person with no memory of who they 'used to be'.

A person who didn’t love Aizawa anymore.

It felt like your life ended right there.

You and Aizawa kept trying to make it work, even when you 'went away for a while'.

A unique spin on long distance relationships is how Aizawa tried making light of it but you could see how much he was hurting

Your doctors worked out as many bugs as possible; there's no more 'evil twin' of yours after a year but there was nothing to be done about you still turning into another person.

The switches were increasing in frequency and duration as well.

It wouldn't feel like the end of the world if this 'other you' didn't have zero romantic feelings for Aizawa whatsoever.

You couldn't cope with the knowledge that one day you'd refuse his loving embrace, and not be filled with butterflies when he smiled at you.

You finally snap and Aizawa accepts the reality of the situation

Aizawa couldn't stand it any longer and tried absolutely everything to put it off but you were in so much pain, so was he, and things reached a point that it was unavoidable any longer.

Aizawa divorces you. So when 'the time comes' you can be set free entirely.

You cling to him for every waking moment of sanity that you have left

Then one day you drifted out of his reach for good

People grieved with and comforted Aizawa as best they could

Then struggled to pretend that nothing's happened around you

A year passes and things relatively settled

you lived a brand new life and Aizawa truly wished you a lifetime of happiness

Before your mind completely went, the 'other you' developed a crush on none other than Allmight

It became a nightmare for both men

Allmight wanted to drop dead the first time he realized you were flirting with him, knowing this had to be violating some kind of bro-code or law or moral something!!!!?

He avoided you as best he could, then later, once you were yourself again and full of shame, he'd awkwardly accept your apology

He pleaded with Aizawa to understand he wasn't feeding your crush whatsoever, that this was a very uncomfortable position

Aizawa never thought he'd have to watch you fan over another man with his own eyes and the pain of seeing it is agonizing

But he says it's okay

Because he can't remember how long it's been since he's seen you so happy; so much like yourself again

So Aizawa implores Allmight to give things a chance.

If it meant you'd be well taken care of by someone he knew to be trustworthy and treat you how you deserved, then Aizawa would support it

Allmight is hardly put at ease but Aizawa can no longer hold the torch for you. Who better to carry it for him than Allmight.

Finally, if only for his friend's peace of mind, he agrees to entertain things

At a very VERY slow pace

A snail could run laps around Allmight he took things that slowly

Everyone around you could understand the situation, also wanting the best for you as well, but it took so long to get used to seeing you with someone other than your husband, whom you loved dearly 'til your final days of sanity

Allmight struggled to shake feeling icky about this whole thing but there are moments he could see the silver lining and cherished getting to see you happy again as well

People ask Aizawa how he deals with the agony of seeing you with someone else, acting so normal when you'd come to visit Allmight on campus every now and then, and engage in conversations with you as if you had only ever been acquaintances.

He tells them to just look at you and how full of life you were again

He'd never deny that there isn't a single day he wished this was all a dream or that you'd magically come back to your senses and fall back into his arms. Arms that ached to hold you and a heart that missed you more than it could bare.

Aizawa would never remarry, he'd never consider it.

Aizawa would tell you how he was once married to the love of his life, and how she's long passed, but that he will always love her and couldn't wait until they’d meet again

[maybeitsalivescribbles]

TTD - True Evil 4/4

part1 part2 part3 part 4

*

“Do you understand?”

The Not-Earbuds were taken off with shaking hands. Superhero grabbed Hero’s wrists so tight the latter let out a muffled scream of protestation.

“Do you understand?”

“Yes!”

The man looked at their grimace of pain and slowly eased their grip, their eyes intense.

“I worry about you, Hero. You seem to think that villains are nice people if only you gave them a hug. Powers are a curse. Or you can shoulder them and become a hero, or you embrace them and you end in the wrong side. That’s all there is.”

“I-”

“I know it’s hard for you to understand, it’s different for you. You have a blessing, not powers. But you have to, or the reality will catch up to you. Like me, you’ll be responsible for a death.”

“Sir, you were not responsible for any of that.”

Hero’s wrists were released at once. It was the Superhero’s turn to recoil, a wide-eyed expression on his face:

“How – How can you say that? If I'd been a little quicker, I could have caught her. If I’d never approached the monster, she might have been safe.”

His fist clenched:

“If I’d killed them, they’d never have made victims then or after.”

Hero swallowed hard:

“Sir, I’m sorry for what happened to you. Truly.”

“Save your pity for people who deserve it. I want your efficacy. Can you promise me to do your job better than you've done until now?”

“I’ll try, sir. I’ll really try.”

Two pale red eyes followed them as they left the office. It didn’t scare Hero as much as before.

*

Villain’s room was still locked when they came back. Hero knocked, but didn’t try to enter. They let their back glide along it, landing on the floor, and slipped their hand under the door. After a while, they felt fingers encircling theirs. They looked at the ceiling, their eyes gazing at a small crack in all this white.

“When I was five-year-old”, they said, “my moms told me I could put my shoes on my own. It was really hard, you know. I had two pairs, so I had to make a choice, and it killed me. I knew that no matter what I’d do, there was going to be poor little shoes under my bed in the dark all day long. My moms found me in tears the next week. They had to buy a chest to make a shoe house, and a third pair so they could have fun with each other during the day.”

“That was very prejudiced of your child self. Like your shoes would rather work all day long than spending time on their own. Like darkness was a curse.”

“I was five-year-old, buddy. I didn’t think. That’s my point, actually.”

“I didn’t realize you had one.”

“I was devastated because of shoes. I can’t even imagine how it was for you, when you saw someone die.”

Hero heard a gasp from the other side of the door, but they grabbed the hand that tried to get away from them.

“My boss told me what happened. I don’t think you’ve killed anybody.”

“These sentences don’t go together. Do not even try to tell me he changed his mind.”

“He didn’t. He’s traumatized. But I’m the one who lives with you. Even if I didn’t know any fact, I know that the person who hugs me every morning before I’m going to work and who harassed me to call a doctor when I was sick would never kill someone on purpose. Of course it was an accident. It wasn't premeditated at all.”

“It is quite a shot in the dark for someone so terrified of it.”

“I was five. I got better.”

“How naive. Just because someone pretends to bear with you doesn’t mean they’re unable to murder anyone.”

Hero squeezed their roommate’s hand.

“But I’m right,” they whispered. “I’m sure I’m right.”

Villain struggled to get free and this time, they let go. After a few minutes, the lock clicked. Hero moved back from the door, staring as it opened. Villain looked at them back. For once, their shadow didn’t cover their head altogether, leaving two pale green eyes in sight, coldly glaring.

“I didn’t even see her run into traffic,” they simply said. “There were ants in the tree. I was too busy to fight with the little creatures eager to invade my very own personal space.”

Hero jumped on their feet:

“I knew it!”

“You seem suspiciously relieved for someone who pretended to be certain.”

“Hmm - it’s the ants. Everybody hates ants.”

“You are such a dreadful liar.”

Nevertheless, Villain grumpily accepted the hug.

*

Check the These Two Dorks Masterlist or Tag for more snippets with this Hero and Villain. This is how they met and now they’re roommates.

Or back to Hero x Villain Masterlist.

[rottenpumpkin13]

Ok but this..

Let's say that somehow *hypothetically* Miniroth was to see what he becomes in the future. What's his reaction? And when he sees that he'll never live that normal life he so longs for? Quite the opposite actually 😶 x

• Sephiroth has unfathomably strange dreams, the type that leaves him confused when the last traces of hypnogogia slip away, and makes Professor Hojo's lip curl up in distaste whenever Sephiroth recounts them to him.

• In the beginning, he thinks his dreams make up for the nonsense and color his day-to-day duties lack, that his subconscious is filling the gaps between waking life and dreamless sleep with glimpses of absurdity.

• The ones where he's being held by his mother are his favorite. Her embrace is warm, safe, encasing him in a love he dreams of one day receiving. He tolerates the ones where he's fighting monsters and going on adventures, as they feel closer to his daily routine and aren't as exciting. Sephiroth has ones where he's surrounded by friends, faceless boys around his age and they're running through a big, grassy field.

• He's grown used to the nightmares, the call-backs to whatever horror Professor Hojo's team put him up to that day, the ones where he's alone begging for his mother to come get him, the ones where he's in a void accompanied by a deceptive voice reeling him in.

• The only recurring dream, however, is a distressing one. He awakes on the ground, his knees digging into the hot dirt, coughing up debris as his lungs fight to expel the putrid air from his body. The hot air presses into his back, beads of sweat marking his skin. His vision becomes a blur as splotches of red and orange meld together to create a harrowing scene before his eyes.

• He's surrounded by fire. Burning houses cave in around him, screaming people begging for help as the fire consumes their last breath. Sephiroth's first instinct is to save them, but his legs aren't working. They wobble and shake as he pushes himself to his feet, covering his mouth as he lets out another dry cough.

• Sephiroth's head is spinning, his heartbeat a cacophony of panic as it thrums in his ear. With his vision fading in and out, finally begins to make out a lone black figure in the distance.

• Sephiroth's eyes, pooling with tears, widen as long silver hair cascades down the stranger's back. He holds a long, thin sword coated in blood at his side. Panic grips Sephiroth, but he's committed. He slowly rises to his feet fully, limping a few steps ahead.

• "Hey!" he screams at the stranger, mustering up the most threatening tone his prepubescent voice can mimic.

• The stranger turns around slowly⏤inch by agonizing inch in his direction⏤until he finally shows his face.

• Sephiroth instantly feels the contents of his stomach pool up. He slaps a hand over his mouth, fearing that he may throw up. Staring back at him is a much older version of Sephiroth, who's presence alone suffocates what little composure the boy had left.

• 'This man...this thing,' Sephiroth thinks, 'he does not have good intentions.'

• Sephiroth wakes up shortly after, drenched in his own sweat and fearing every shadow in his room. The first time it happens is the first time Sephiroth falls asleep in the aircraft en route to his assignment. He didn't get any sleep after the nightmare.

• The dream persists; first it happens every night, then once every three nights, then once a week, twice a month, and finally, once a month. It's always there, in the back of his mind. Sephiroth refuses to concede, to accept that version of himself as belonging to his sound mind.

• Sephiroth may only be a child, but he's certain that whatever evil he sees in his dreams will never see the light of day. He knows that he's normal, he has to be. It's not fair. Sephiroth never wanted to be a hero, let alone one who turns into a villain.

• His mother⏤whoever she may have been⏤wouldn't want this from him. She would've raised a good son, and a good son he will strive to be however alone he is in the world.

• But there comes a day where he's at the tail-end of an assignment in Wutai. He stands at the edge of the burning village.

• He's surrounded by fire. Burning houses cave in around him, screaming people begging for help as the fire consumes their last breath. Sephiroth's first instinct was to kill them. He had no choice, it was what he had been sent here to do.

• Sephiroth's head is spinning, his heartbeat a cacophony of panic as it thrums in his ear. He isn't a murderer, he isn't a villain, he is but a boy who has no other choice than to obey.

• Sephiroth's eyes, pooling with tears, widen as he feels his growing silver hair cascade down his back. He glances at the long, thin sword coated in blood at his side.

• Panic grips Sephiroth, but what can he do? He's doomed.

[zeciex]

The sequence of Aemond haughty looking at what he has done and proud, is so different from Lucerys, I think we are facing the real villain of the series, really little by little they are building the character of the books, and I can only applaud the screenwriters as they are building the psychology of Aegon, Aemond and Alicent.

Personally, I think killing Luke is what set him on this darker path--it cost him some of the things he really wanted; love, respect, admiration. The parent he leaned on and had the best relationship with turns away from him. His brother considers him a hound. And we know he feels some sort of regret for Luke.

And I wish we had explored his feelings about Jaehaerys, which was very much the response to him killing Luke. I wish we got to see him mourn or at least feel some kind of way about it; feel guilty because he started this.

Aemond finding the comfort he can't at home at the brothel was him finding a safe place. Was it stupid as fuck given Aegon frequents the brothels? Yes. But Aemond is seeking out a place where he isn't judged--not for his eye, not for killing Luke, not for being the kinslayer. And Aegon humiliated him. I think that in that moment, he killed his vulnerable side and decides to fully embrace his dark side. I don't think he necessarily set out to kill Aegon--Aegon wasn't supposed to be there, and he was a casualty of both his own stupidity and Aemond's desire to kill Rhaenys. I think he took a calculated measure; Sunfyre was struggling against a war hardened dragon who was tearing it's wing apart. Aemond couldn't get to Aegon without also causing major damage, and I think he just went with the fire option as the lesser evil, because while he resents Aegon, if he wanted to kill him, he would have let Rhaenys do it--that way he could get off from being accused of kinslaying again. And if he really wanted to kill him, with no concern for consequences, he'd have ended him with his sword; but we saw that he was already raising the sword to sheathe it; he didn't pull it out for Aegon but because there could be enemies.

Aemond was set on this plan, he as a mind for war and strategy, and he isn't stupid. If he killed Aegon with his sword, there would be questions. And what can he do in that moment? He can't touch Aegon, he can't move him, so he walks away because there's still a battle happening.

That being said; I definitely appreciate his descent into villainy. I just wish we got 10 episodes so that there had been more time to explore the family dynamics + explore his guilt + explore his relationship with Aegon more, especially after Jaehaerys's death. I wish we had more tension slowly building between them.

I really like exploring the fucked up dynamic/facets of the TG characters. I love Alicent and Aegon as characters, even though I wanna fist fight them both. And you know I love Aemond, otherwise I wouldn't be writing this much for him!

We'll definitely get to explore more dysfunctional family dynamics--the generational trauma, the strange, fucked up bond the siblings have with one another and their mother. I want to give the characters and their relationship time to breathe and unfold, and I have the time given I've extended the timeline.

The same goes for TB characters and their family dynamic--which is vastly different from TG dynamics, but the characters (especially Daemon) is flawed and they, too, have generational trauma. I also just want to give both Rhaena and Baela more breathing room, even if they're just in the background of a scene--they are there, and they are learning.

Anyway, this was likely not at all what you wanted to hear from me by sending this! And I am sorry for the rant lol I agree with you though. And I just really enjoy a good villain and Aemond is slowly becoming one.

[incomingalbatross]

"thank you anon for starting it"

Your welcome! I'd just wanted to get my problems with how others didn't get redemption off my chest! I'm so glad it resonated!

Another thought I have on redemption: The process of redemption is in essence the the process of the old person being destroyed and constructing a new person in its place. This means though that a redemption needs to sell you on the person essentially destroying their old self and accepting another. This means that it either needs time or intensity.

A good example of the former is Dinobot from Beast Wars. He's basically forced to join the heroes and is a violent jerk at the beginning, only slowly becoming a better person until by the end he's 100% on the hero's side. This one lends itself well to the trope of the villain trying to take up their old habits again only to realize they aren't that person anymore.

For fast redemptions, intensity is needed to sell a person changing their entire allegiance in mere minutes. For instance, Saul of Tarsus was a religious fanatic who changed on the spot because he saw a vision from God Himself. Also Vader, who embraced the light despite thinking it was too late for him after seeing his son being brutally electrocuted while begging for his father to help him. Bad fast redemptions are almost always ones where the experience was not intense nor meaningful enough to sell a person turning that fast. They also usually require a very simple and straightforward choice in the moment. (Don't arrest the Christians/throw the evil emperor down the shaft)

It resonated VERY well.

And I think this is a good point. Redemption is (not necessarily in a religious sense) a conversion - the character's self is converted from one form into another. Which means you need to BELIEVE that the cause was enough to shake the foundations of whatever part of themselves has been destroyed/transformed.

Sometimes it can be a gradual buildup of force, like an erosion. The characters' beliefs, convictions, commitments or attachments can be gradually undermined by exposure to something better, until the counter-force has built up enough to make them go against their past self.

Sometimes, as you say, its a catastrophic shakeup. I think even in that case, though, it does have to appeal to something already in them? It can only happen if there's another, deeper allegiance they didn't understand themselves: to use your examples, St. Paul was already extremely dedicated to serving God and was forced by direct encounter to know that Christ WAS God (he didn't stop being a religious fanatic so much as he just course-corrected his drive), and Vader's love for family had been a deep-rooted part of his character all along, just twisted and suffocated into a motivation for evil instead of good.

I don't know if I have a point here - I'm just riffing in response to your good thoughts - but I think it might be that fast redemptions have to appeal to good that's already in the redeemed? To be believable to the audience, we have to see that there is something about the good of the redemption that they already, consciously or unconsciously, desired.

(And yes, it coming with an immediate clear choice for them to make helps a lot because it means commitment on their part. We know they're not just thinking about changing, or just doing what's convenient at the moment.)

[true-blue-megamind]

What Makes Hal a Great Villain?

Okay, I’m saying it upfront: this one is going to get a little dark and very real.  Potential triggers for harassment, stalking, sexual predation.  Nothing graphic or heavy, of course, but if these are especially highly sensitive subjects for you, please proceed with caution.

Also, SPOILER ALERT for anyone who has not yet watched the animated awesomeness that is Megamind.  (If you are that person, the DVD is on sale on Amazon, and the movie is available to stream on NowTV.  Go watch it.  I’ll wait.)

We all know Megamind is an awesome protagonist--multi-layered, relatable, and surprisingly complex-- but, truthfully, his antagonist is just as interesting.  In fact, when compared with other animated villains of the early 2000′s, he’s by far the most memorable... and the most terrifying.

Many may question my assessment.  I mean, let’s be honest: this guy doesn’t exactly look like the face of evil.  But make no mistake: Hal, who later becomes Titan, is an extremely scary person.

I don’t want to leave readers with the impression that this character is one-sided, however, so before we get started on just what makes this fellow complete nightmare fuel, let’s look briefly at a few of the other reasons that Hal makes a fascinating Bad Guy.

One of my favorite things about Hal’s character arch is that it defies expectations.  Superhero comics have a long tradition of Average Nobodies who somehow receive extraordinary powers and go on to save the city.  Or the world.  Or the universe.  You get the idea.  Many comic book fans, upon watching Megamind for the first time, probably expected Hal to do the same, but he doesn’t.  In fact, he goes rogue, choosing to use his newly-obtained gifts for wanton destruction.  Thus the film inverts the established trope.

Like the protagonist he faces, (and is thankfully conquered by,) Hal is complex, and his true nature reveals itself slowly.  I’ve heard some people say that they actually felt a bit sorry for him in the first scene he appears, as he awkwardly tries to express his feelings to reporter Roxanne Ritchi.  At first he seemed like nothing worse than a socially inept and sexually frustrated nerd.  Only as the move progressed, and the aforementioned viewers saw his creepiness more clearly, did they begin to revile him.  One of the many clever things about the movie is that the gradual development provides audiences with the experience of slowly getting to know the characters.  While Megamind is the somewhat anarchical Goth who worries you a little at first, but whose heart of gold has you loving him once you really understand him, Hal is that guy you really, really regret talking to at a party.  You know, the one who quickly starts sending your internal Creep-o-Meter off the scale and persistently follows you around for the rest of the night.  This is, indeed, part of what makes Hal disturbing; just like real villains, he hides in plain sight, wearing the guise of an ordinary fellow.

Which brings us back to the scary part.  Even before he gets superpowers, Hal is bad guy deep down.  He’s a creep and a stalker.  He harasses Roxanne at work and keeps pestering her for a date no matter how many times she says no.  Either consciously or unconsciously, he assumes that she’s shallow, and that once he has a muscular body and a bevy of godlike abilities, she’ll fawn on him.  The idea that he himself might be the problem never seems to occur to him.  In fact, he seems to feel that she will then owe him her affection.  This is because, even before becoming Titan, Hal appears to have an overblown sense of self-importance and an unrealistic concept about what he deserves.  (I go into detail about that in an earlier post, Megamind and Identity, which you can read here.)  The fact that he doesn’t get what he feels is his right seems to have created a deep-seeded bitterness in him that rises to the surface once he obtains power.

But Hal really is the problem.  His combined possessive harassment and complete lack of empathy are exactly why Roxanne neither likes nor trusts him.  And she’s right to feel that way.  Almost immediately after gaining his powers, now feeling that he is above society’s rules, Titan begins revealing just how terrible of a person he really is.  He uses his supervision to spy on Roxanne while he and Megamind (disguised as Space Dad) are in the park, and that must not be the only incident because he later tells Roxanne: “I know everything about you.”  This is just before he grabs her off of her balcony, without her consent, and begins throwing her around like a rag doll, terrifying her and putting her life in real danger because, apparently, he thinks she’ll be impressed.

Yeah.  This guy is pretty much human garbage.

Once he finally understands (more or less) that Roxanne really means it when she says she’s not interested, Hal/Titan reveals himself to be a man-child.  He  begins by using his abilities for selfish and criminal reasons, essentially stating that he doesn’t feel heroism is worth his time.  When he learns that Megamind has been dating Roxanne, (albeit in disguise,) he reacts with violence.  This is because Megamind, like Hal himself, is an outsider: unpopular, unwelcome, and considered unattractive by most of the population of Metro City.  In Hal’s mind, this revelation highlights the fact that none of these factors were the cause of Roxanne’s rejection, leaving only he himself to blame.  (In fact, the movie contrasts Megamind, who, although imperfect, respects Roxanne’s wishes and intelligence, with Hal, who basically views her as an object to be won.  Again, you can read more about that in Megamind and Identity.) Hal can’t handle that.  He can’t accept it.  So instead he turns his rage on the city as a whole.  (This is despite the fact that, deep down, Hal knows he is the problem, hence why he rejects his identity as Hal and fully embraces the new one as Titan.  That’s illustrated by his final line before abandoning Roxanne on Metro Tower: “It’s Titan, not Hal!”)

Hal abuses his power, and society suffers as a result.  Even then, however, Hal/Titan still tries to lay claim to Roxanne.  He accuses Megamind of “stealing his girlfriend,” and later tells Roxanne: “Let me guess, after seeing how awesome I am, you’ve come to your senses.”  All the way to the end, Hal still can’t quite seem to accept that reality is not following his design.

If the idea of a man who lets power go to his head, objectifies women, won’t take “no” for an answer, and reacts violently when denied what he feels he’s owed sounds familiar, that’s because it is.  Humanity has a huge problem with these sorts of behaviors, ranging from sexism and sexual predation to unfeeling abuses of power.  The Sarah Everard case in London, and the fact that several officials essentially blamed the victim, asking why Sarah was walking home alone rather than asking why some guy felt he had the right to attack her, is the most recent well-known testament to this, but it’s sadly far from the only one.  A.J. White said it best in his YouTube video, The Terror of the Incel Superman, when he expressed that news archives are full of stories about women being murdered by the sort of overgrown boys who can’t accept their refusals.  And although men of that sort do not have the ability to fly or shoot lasers out of their eyes, some of them do rise to social and political power.  They are Hals. 

That is exactly what makes this character so especially scary.  Unlike more farcical supervillains, he is based upon something that truly exists.  Preternatural abilities aside, Hal is terrifying because he is very real.  Let’s just hope our world will see more Megaminds willing to stand up to them. #BeMegamindNotHal

[thefanficmonster]

One Can Never Escape Destiny

Shan-Yu x Empress!Reader (Female)

Warnings: Murder scene (non-graphic)

Genre: Angst, Romance (one-sided)

Summary: After fulfilling his plan of taking over China Shan-Yu and his army have made it to the palace of Empress Y/L/N Y/N. However, one obstacle the warrior still fails to overcome is swaying the Empress herself, getting in her good graces. Unable to kill her, he is left to do all he can to have her spare him as much as a civil word.

Requested by Anon. Hi lovely! Thank you so much for such and amazing and so different request from what I’m used to. This is my first time writing for a Disney character, a villain even, so I hope to have fulfilled your expectations even with it being so late in posting. Please enjoy! Love, Vy ❤

She refuses to eat or see the light of day. She’s been hidden away in a single room of the palace ever since China fell. She attempted to fight and gave her all when her eyes met his poisonous ones and her sword’s blade collided with his. The fight was a difficult one, he had to admit. She would’ve won had she not had a heart of gold. Putting her right-hand man’s under the sharp dagger in his merciless hand left her no choice. She loved that man, he could see it in her eyes. And he wasn’t going to kill the pathetic excuse for a member of the Empress’ council, but seeing that look of devotion and adoration in her gaze when her eyes met with his drove him in a fit of absolute rage. He couldn’t restrain himself and let the blade slide across the man’s neck only after the Empress had surrendered.

“NOOO!“ She had shrieked in terror and sorrow, all her pain audible in her cry that echoed all throughout the palace, piercing the monstrous warrior’s ears. He couldn’t bare to see her so distraught, over another man on top of all, so her ordered his men to take her to one of the chambers and leave her to collect herself. She still had fight left in her though. She escaped from his men’s grasps and overpowered them both until a third one knocked her out cold with the handle of his dagger. A choice of action that landed him the second dead body to be thrown out of the palace that night.

He specifically instructed the man taking Y/N to her chamber to be gentle and caring with her and to leave the door unlocked, maybe even open a crack. He didn’t want her to feel trapped in her own home. 

He sat by one of the windows all through the late dark hours of the night and even met the sunrise at dawn. He contemplated so many things, scolded himself even. He had become the ruler of China and yet he had never felt so low and defeated. He even let his mind wander to the option of killing the Empress for his own peace of mind but he knew he wouldn’t be able to the second he realized he wasn’t even able to picture himself doing it. The very though sickened him to his stomach and he was disgusted with himself to have ever allowed himself to think such a thought.

The main thing troubling him was the fact that he didn’t know where such admiration came from. He had never admired nor respected a woman before but he felt the need to bow before her instead of the other way around. He wanted to be her loyal servant, tending to her every need at the bat of her eyelashes. He could barely believe himself either way - killing her or adoring her, they were both thoughts bordering into insanity, he couldn’t tell which was worse. Of course he could, he just wanted to lie to himself. He knew he could never lay a hand on her.

Shan-Yu had fallen under the spell of the very Empress he was supposed to end in order to fulfill his evil plans.

He should want her dead while he’s prepared to kill whoever dares even wish her harm. Funny how destiny works. Or perhaps this is karma punishing him for his evil ways by putting one bump in the road right in front of him - one so easy to get rid of in theory, but he could never commit to it.

It has been four full days since that fateful night and he hasn’t heard nor seen her. He’s not willing to disturb her peace and earn himself an injury from the infuriated Empress but the hours of overthinking, contemplating and self-battling are weighing heavy on him. His men are beginning to notice, although they’d never say anything - they may be cruel, dumb fools but they respect their lives enough to not put them at a risk like that. Not even a risk, more like certain death. They all obeyed his orders of bringing the Empress food three times a day every day and they all witnessed the defeat and worry that washed over their leader’s face whenever they brought back the dishes untouched hours after they had delivered them. 

So, after a lot of self-convincing and doubting, Shan-Yu has bitten the bullet - he is walking the halls to the Empress Y/L/N Y/N’s chamber. He makes it to her door sooner than he’d like, his confidence is not fully built. His composure could easily be shaken. His words are scrambled and even if he could form coherent sentences, he knows they die in his throat.

‘Pull yourself together, you pathetic mutt‘ He scolds himself for the hundredth time in the past hour. Easier said than done, though. She’s a woman of incredible strength, power and character. She was respected by every individual in China, not a single soul looked down upon her. They had already hated him, but now that he has allegedly put their dear Empress in misery, he’d be dead along with his army if they weren’t so strongly feared.

Shan-Yu brings himself to knock on the chamber doors, his voice a faint echo through the massive hallway when he calls out, “Empress, may I enter?”

No answer, as he expected. He is half expecting to not even be there, to have escaped. He knows her better than that though.

Cautiously pushing the door open, he’s met with a dark room only lit by the moonlight seeping in through a small rectangular window directly opposite the door. He sees her silhouette in the windowsill. She’s sitting facing away from him, looking out of the window at the rooftops underneath the clear, starry night sky. She doesn’t bother to turn her head to acknowledge his presence, also as expected.

A small detail he notices sends shivers down his spine - there are metal bars on her window. Why?

“I was a rebellious child. I knew my destiny before even understanding what it meant. All I knew was that I didn’t want it. I didn’t want to be Empress. I wanted to be one of those brave souls who were prepared to leave to a front knowing they might not return.“ Her voice rings through the cold, dark space, bouncing off the walls in a haunting manner, enchanting him. “My father knew I would be more than capable of running away so I was frequently spending plenty of time here, locked up. As I am now.“

She is still facing away from him but he still shakes his head as though she could see him. “You are not locked here, Empress Y/N. The door is always open. This palace is still yours.”

“That you are right about.“ Y/N’s head turns finally and his heart drops.

She is pale, eyebags weighing heavy under her tired eyes. Her hair is covering her face but her pale complexion is more than visible even from behind her locks. She looks like she has been crying, not that she’s a woman who cries often. A tear of hers has the same value as a bar of gold.

She continues. “Chu Bao, the man you killed in front of my very eyes, was the only man I’ve ever loved and the only person who saw me as more than my title. I’m not just an Empress! Everyone forgets that!“

He feels hurt by her remark, “Y/N, I know. I know better than anyone. I have overtaken all of China and yet you are my greatest prize...”

She cuts him off, her shaky hands pushing her hair to the side so she can look directly at him, her crystal eyes meeting his menacing yellow ones with such intensity he feels it almost like a physical presence. “I am no prize, you monster! I’m a person who destiny played wrong! I given a role I have never been happy with. But I had to play it to maintain the honor of my family and of China as a whole. It taught me a valuable lesson: No matter the tries, one can never escape destiny. So...” she trails off, her eyes losing their feisty glow as she turns back to the window, “I embraced it and became one with my land, this palace, my title. And I will stay one with them till my death. Now, leave! And don’t bring me food anymore. Don’t check on me. I want it all to end the way it started - in this palace, in this chamber. I want to go out with the last bit of dignity I have. If nothing, I will die without ever bowing to you. I may have surrendered, but consider this me prolonging the fight.” He hears her scoff, a humorless chuckle, “The moment I die will be the moment I win.”

Shan-Yu has never been a man to live to face defeat. He always defeats the defeat, stands up taller than ever whenever he’s been brought down. Now is different, however. His defeat is inevitable. It hasn’t even happened yet, but he knows the battle’s lost. His hands are tied. He would never disobey a wish of Y/N’s nor could he live with her slowly dying. He cannot keep her alive against her will, and he can’t end it all quickly for her either.

She has already won, but she’s not aware.

Empress Y/L/N Y/N has defeated the monstrous, villainous conqueror Shan-Yu twice in her life: once when she had him fall in love with her and again when she chose to put an end to her life, leaving him powerless.

All he can do now is accept his defeat and allow for Y/N to become nothing but a battle scar on his heart.

[bonnyskies]

revenge ⇢ myg

you’ve dedicated your entire life to avenging your parents’ death. every sacrifice you’ve made, every tear and blood that you’ve shed has led you this moment. standing in front of the man who’s responsible for your parents’ death, blade in hand and ready to strike. the only problem was, was that he was the emperor of the northern kingdoms—and your husband.

pairing — emperor!yoongi x malereader

genre — angst, sexual themes, royalty au

warnings — swearing, implied rape and torture, mentions of blood and murder, brief mentions of suicide, yoongi is kind of evil but soft for the reader, and the reader has a fake name

author’s note — this is just something that i’ve been thinking about recently and wanted to get out before i completely forget about it.

word count — 2.9k

masterlist

Min Yoongi.

Just the thought of that name alone made your blood instantly boil with rage and hatred run through your veins.

Everyone across the vast lands knew him by his reputation and many titles. The young Emperor of the Northern Kingdoms was one of them, and the Hero of the North was another—even though many saw him as the villain instead.

Just at the age of twenty-six, he was already known as the most dangerous and feared man in the world. No one, not even the other leaders who have lived longer and fought more battles than him wouldn’t dare to challenge him.

You never really understood how he became Emperor in the first place. He has practically broke every tradition made specifically for royals. An Emperor is suppose to have a flawless appearance, yet an evident scar decorated his face. He’s suppose to marry a woman of royalty and produce an heir, yet he has shown interest only in men. An Emperor is suppose to stay in his palace and away from the battlefield, but there are many stories to where the young leader himself was leading his kingdom’s army in the frontlines. An Emperor is suppose know about diplomacy, but he only knew violence.

But despite of his famous reputation, you only recognized him for one thing. The man responsible for the death of your parents. Yes, even though he wasn’t the one who swung the blade down on them, he was the one that carried the order for their execution.

As you stared at yourself in your chamber’s body-sized mirror, taking in the the crimson royal robes you were dressed in, you ran your fingers delicately along the smooth blade of the dagger that you held in your hands, eyes shining with nothing but determination.

Tonight was the night. You were finally going to avenge your parents and kill the man that was responsible for their deaths. And after that, join them in the afterlife.

“Excuse me, sir?” A female’s voice suddenly broke you out of your thoughts. When turning around you, your eyes landed on one of the young servants that would accompany you wherever you go, except for your bedroom. “Your Highness has requested you to meet him in his throne room.”

“Thank you for informing me,” you smiled gratefully. “I’ll be right there.” You watched as the servant then bowed her head before dismissing herself.

Oh, and Min Yoongi is also your husband.

With one final glance at yourself in the mirror, you placed your sharp dagger into its sheath that is attached to your waist and hidden underneath your royal robes before leaving.

When leaving your chambers and walking down the narrow hallways of the palace, you could already hear a man’s cries—which were coming directly from the throne room. And when entering the heavily decorated open room, your blood became cold at the sight in front of you.

Right in front of you, your husband—Min Yoongi sat upon his throne with a man kneeled in front of him. The bruises on his face and blood stains on his skin were clear as day for you to see. On instinct, your right rested on your hidden blade, eyes shifting from the injured man towards your husband, who held an intimidating glare.

“P-Please your Highness,” the man cried out, bowing his head repeatedly as tears poured out of his eyes. “P-Please have mercy on me, I didn’t know my family’s taxes were due yesterday. I don’t have enough yet, just give me more time—”

“More time?” Your husband chuckled hysterically, shaking his head and scoffing. When standing up from his throne, you swore you could hear the commoner’s heart racing inside his chest as Yoongi began to approach him. “Your tax date is the same as everyone else in your village, yet you claim that you’ve forgotten?”

He stood in front of the man and stared down at him, hand resting intimidatingly on the hilt of his sword. “Do you think I’m stupid?” The man shook his head vigorously. “Then you must be stupid. Because how could you forget that your taxes were due yesterday when everyone in your village was coming up to the palace to pay theirs?”

The man opened his mouth but no words seemed to come out. And when seeing the way your husband’s eyes squinted, you knew it was over him. Just by snapping his fingers, two guards appeared by the commoner’s sides and grabbed him by his arms, forcing him back onto his feet. “Take him to the dungeon,” Yoongi simply ordered, turning his back towards him. “You and the others guards can use him anyway that you see fit before ending him.”

Your heart sunk at your husband’s words, cringing when seeing one of guard’s smirk and lick his lips. “Yes, your Highness.”

“N-No!” The commoner cried out, eyes filled with nothing but fear. “Please your Highness, my wife and children are waiting for me back home—”

“Don’t worry about them,” Yoongi cut him off, sitting back down on his throne with devilish smirk on his lips. “I’m make sure their deaths are swift.”

The man’s eyes widened with pure horror, and the last thing you could hear were his screams and cries for mercy until they fell completely silent as the guards dragged him out the throne room. Leaving you and Yoongi, alone.

“Hello, my love.” Your husband then turned towards you, finally noticing your presence. You hated how he could smile so easily even after he just sentence an innocent man to death literally seconds ago.

“Hello, dear.” You flashed your fakest smile, walking over to him and taking your usual seat on his lap, his hands immediately resting on your thighs. “How’s your day?”

“Better now that you’re here,” he grinned, leaning up and pressing his lips against yours. It was just a simple, gentle peck before he pulled away, flashing you his perfect white teeth as he smiled. “How about you? What did you do today?”

You shrugged, “Nothing, really. Just stayed in our chambers, that’s pretty much it.”

Yoongi nodded, running his hands along your legs and the higher his hands ran the more your heart raced. Not because what he was doing was making you flustered—even though it did, it was because you feared that he’d feel your dagger’s sheath. You weren’t allowed to carry weapons within the palace, only the Emperor himself and his guards could.

“So, do you know what’s today?” You felt yourself begin to smile at your husband’s question.

You nodded, “Yes.” Today was your guys’ one year anniversary after being officially wedded to each other.

“I’ve asked the servants to prepare a feast for us tonight, and I’ve also got a surprise for you too as well.” Yoongi informed, a teasing grin forming his face.

“What is it?” You asked, raising a brow.

Yoongi smirked. “You’re just going to have to wait and see,” he leaned up and whispered into your ear before pressing a lingering kiss onto your neck that sent shivers down along your spine.

You hated this. You hated how he had this kind of effect on you. The feeling of his kisses made you tingle, his embraces made you feel safe, and his stares would make your heart race. You’re suppose to hate him—you do hate him, but after being together for four years, one of them being a married couple, you couldn’t stop a small part of you from loving him.

Min Yoongi may be heartless towards others, but to you, he had a heart.

But this is part of the plan, your mind reminded.

You didn’t want to just kill Min Yoongi, you wanted to destroy him and everything he has built, and marrying was your only way in. So, to get where you are today, you had to sacrifice just about everything. You sold your parent’s farm so that you could purchase fine clothing and pass as a royal. You then snuck into one of many banquets that Yoongi held at his palace and made your mission to capture his attention. It didn’t take long, due to the fact that you always found a way to be near him, flashing your semi-revealing robes towards him, not missing the way his eyes would scan over your body or the smirk on his lips.

The mission was a success when later that night you found yourself in his personal chamber, sprawled out underneath him on his bed, robes long forgotten and discarded onto the ground. With your arms and legs secured tightly around him, nothing but loud moans and whimpers would fall from your lips as you felt nothing but absolute pleasure throughout the rest of the night.

After that day, you began to visit him in his palace more frequently—due to his request, and the nights you’d spend in his chambers, in his bed completely bare and underneath him, lips-locked locked and bodies pressed against each other also grew.

Slowly, you found yourself becoming his close companion. Right then and there, you planned on ending his life but after much thought, you learned that it wouldn’t solved everything. You wanted more. So you put your plan on pause and three years later, he courted you and you became his husband. And that’s when your new plan came. If you waited long enough and he suddenly passed, the rulership of the Northern Kingdoms would pass onto you.

You could finally rule the North how it was always meant to be. Tranquil. The common people not having to live in complete fear because of their Emperor. The other royals celebrating as peace treaties are formed rather than having to constantly watch their backs, scared at the thought Yoongi changing his mind one day and deciding that they aren’t any use to him anymore—in other words, kill them.

The Northern Kingdoms would be at ease without Min Yoongi ruling.

So that’s where you are now. Four years into a relationship and one into marriage, heart confused on how to feel towards the very intimidating man. But one thing was was sure, tonight is the night where you finally complete your plan. Kill Min Yoongi.

You and Yoongi both scrambled into your guys’ personal chamber, lips moving in sync together as his hands run along your sides and your arms were wrapped his neck, deepening the rough, messy kiss that was filled with many different emotions. Love, passion, lust.

A small gasp escaped you as Yoongi suddenly lifted you into his arms with ease and gently laid you onto your guys’ bed before climbing up and hover over you, reconnecting your lips.

You ran your hands along his back, caressing the muscles underneath his robes as he began to leave kisses down your neck, leaving marks on your skin as his fingers would dig into the flesh of your thighs.

“Fuck, you’re beautiful.” Yoongi mumbled into your neck, sliding one of his hands up your thighs and once again your heart began to race. He was getting closer to your dagger. “And you’re all mine...”

“Yes, I am.” You moaned out, moving one of your hands away from his back and slowly inched your way towards your hidden blade. “I’m yours, my love.”

When Yoongi pulled his lips away from your neck and sat up, you could feel your cheeks start to blush when seeing him begin to undress himself. “How did I get so lucky?” He wondered out loud, causing you to raise a brow. “Fuck, you’re beautiful, intelligent, caring. I don’t deserve you...,” he continued to compliment, undoing the final sash before opening his robes, revealing his toned torso.

Now!

Everything happened in an instant. You quickly yanked your dagger out from its sheath and held the sharp blade against Yoongi’s neck, his eyes that were once filled with passion and lust was now replaced with hurt and betrayal. “Myung—”

“My name’s not Myung.” You cut him off, not missing the way his eyes’ widen. You cautiously stood up from the bed, Yoongi following after with the tip of your dagger’s blade still pressing against his neck, his hands up, surrendered. “My name’s {Name} {Last Name}. Four years ago, you murdered my parents because they didn’t meet your taxes’ requirements.”

Tears glistened in your eyes as you raised your voice, pressing the dagger’s tip into Yoongi’s neck harder. “You executed them because they were just a few silvers short!”

Yoongi remained silence, which angered you so pressed the blade harder, this time drawing blood and making him wince. “W-Why?” You whimpered out, a couple tears managing to escape and slide down your cheeks. “Why did you have to get them executed? It was just a few silvers, you’re the fucking most wealthiest man in the North. A couple silvers wouldn’t change that.” You were full blown sobbing now, the hand that’s holding your dagger was trembling.

“So was this all a lie?” Yoongi asks, completely changing the subject. You noticed the way his jaw was clenched but tears also glistened his eyes. “Everything that we’ve been through these past four years was fake?”

This time, you were the one to remain silent.

Suddenly, Yoongi stepped forward, causing the tip of the dagger to pierce his neck and draw more blood. It wasn’t fatal, but it was enough to make him wince. His unexpected action made you wince and yank the blade away, “What are you doing?” You asked him with wide eyes, your dagger still pointed towards him.

“Kill me,” he said bluntly, stepping forward which resulted in you taking a cautious step back. “Do it.”

“Y-You aren’t going to fight back?” Yoongi shook his head. “Why not?”

“Because ever since I’ve known you, all I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy.” He answered, making your heart race and stop simultaneously. “I was hoping with me. But, if killing me will make you happy, then do it.”

“You have to fight back.” Because you fighting back will make this so much easier.

Yoongi didn’t say anything, only stepped away and walked over to his desk, pulling out a blank scroll and ink pen. You watched as he then sat down began to write something, “What are you doing?”

“I’m writing my suicide note,” he bluntly answered. “When they find me dead, you will be the first they suspect. But once they read this, they’ll know I killed myself and you then will take over as Emperor.”

Your heart dropped, the hand that was holding the dagger slowly lower. You couldn’t believe what he was doing this. The man that has slaughter thousands—perhaps millions was just going to accept his death this easily?

Everyone believed that the infamous young Emperor didn’t have any weaknesses. But they were wrong, you were his one and only weakness.

You couldn’t do this...

But when Yoongi saw what was happening, the tears in your eyes and the lowered dagger, rage flooded his veins. He stood back up and approached you instantly. Gripping onto your wrist, he forced the blade back up to his neck and stared at you with heavy eyes. “Alright, do it...”

When noticing the hesitation in your eyes, Yoongi raised his voice. “Kill me! Isn’t this what you wanted? Isn’t this why lied about everything between us this entire time? To avenge your parents?”

You were crying, lips trembling but nonetheless tightened your grip on your weapon.

“Fucking kill me!”

And with one final cry, you raised your hand that held the dagger above your head and brought it down upon him.

Once again, you found yourself standing in front of your personal chamber’s mirror, but surrounded by a completely different atmosphere. That feeling of determination that you felt in the beginning was gone and replaced with absolute fear.

You didn’t realize you were crying until a sob escape from you, causing you to lower your head and stare at the crimson blood that stained your trembling hands.

Closing your eyes, you began to take slow, gentle breaths, trying to calm your heart that was beating uncontrollably inside your chest. But your rough heart had no chance to ease when the sound of approaching footsteps suddenly came to your ear, soon feeling a hand rest on your waist.

You didn’t even have to open your eyes to know who it was already.

“Don’t worry, my love.” Yoongi’s voice whispered into your ear, sending shivers down your spine. You didn’t know whether it was out of love and passion or fear. “I forgive you.”

When opening your eyes, your gaze immediately fell upon on him in the mirror’s reflection, specifically staring at the blood-stained bandage on his right shoulder. Yoongi leaned down and began to place delicate kisses up along your neck and jawline before whispering again, “I forgive you...”

The only sound you could hear was how loud and uneasy your heart’s beats were echoing inside your ear.

You hated this—absolutely hated this. Why aren’t you able to kill him? How could you let him live after everything he has done to you? He was—is a monster. How could you fall in love with him?

Staring up, your eyes were met with the smooth structure of the chamber’s ceiling. Even though you are shielded from the outside, you knew that your parents were staring—more like glaring down at you from the heavens. Watching their son, who used to be a simple commoner but now part of royalty, dressed in exquisite robes instead of filthy rags, in the arms of the young Emperor—the man responsible for their deaths.

How could your parents ever move on and be at peace knowing their son was in love with their murderer and slept beside him every night?

[hermits-that-craft]

Powers Au - Nature

TW - fighting, blood, past abuse, betrayal

Dream hides under the blankets, his eyes screwed shut. The sound of his father screaming in pain echoes through his head. He might only be nine, but he knows that his father is a bad man. He knows that the man hurts people, thinks that he’s a god. He knows that his father uses him to force people to stay in his territory. Dream knows, prime, Dream knows that this was a long time coming.

But the scream echoes in his head, and in his heart the boy knows his father is dead. He mourns the man, prime only knows that he mourns, but he doesn’t leave the safety of the blankets. Heroes could be here - Dream helped the monster who fashioned himself Dream’s ‘father’ - and they’ll kill him. His father hurt people, but he never lied. Lying is worse than killing, in his father’s eyes.

“Hey,” A soft voice says, suddenly in the room with Dream. “My name’s Puffy, but my heroes name is Captain. Are you injured?”

Dream shakes his head, trembling under the blankets. She’s going to kill him, she’s going to cut him up and eat him, she’s going to-

He sticks his head out from under the blankets, looking at her. She has dark, chocolate brown eyes and fuzzy brown hair that looks like - is it wool? It looks so soft, and there’s a strip of it thats rainbow. She isn’t wearing a mask, he can see it discarded on the floor besides his bed, with a hairtie next to it, and her hood is down. She is covered in blood, and red footprints trail out of the room towards her.

“Hey buddy,” she says. “What’s your name?”

“Dream.” He mumbles, fear wracking his small frame again. The heroine - Puffy - smiles at him brightly.

“That’s a lovely name.” She says, and she reaches her hand out to him. “Why don’t you come with me, we’ll take you to a hospital to make sure you don’t have any injuries.”

Dream frowns, pulling his blanket tighter around his shoulders. He can feel the blood on his back drying, feel the way his foot throbs in pain every time a muscle twitches. He knows its broken. He knows his injured. But this woman could hurt him, could lie to him, and-

“You can keep your blanket, if you want.” She offers, the kindness never wavering.

“My foot hurts.” He mumbles pathetically, tears springing in his eyes.

“Then I guess i have to carry you.” She spreads her arms, and Dream pathetically throws himself into her embrace. 

Puffy picks him up, holding him as though he’s worth something, as though he’s not made everything that she is supposed to defeat. As though his father hadn’t forced him to kill so many people. As though he’s made of gold, and his blood flows with rubies and gemstones.

Dream falls asleep in her careful hold, letting the soft wool of her hair become a pillow.

---

“When will my nephew return from the war.” Schlatt complains as Puffy stacks her dishwasher, rolling her eyes. “It’s been 48 years!”

“School isn’t a war, Schlatt.” Puffy says simply, carefully placing the cutlery into the little bucket made for them. “And if my memory serves me right, you’re still in university.”

“Poli-sci is different to fifth grade, Puffy. Ten year olds are evil.”

“Mum! I’m home!” Dream calls, and Puffy can hear a crash as he throws his bag into the wall. 

“Speak of the devil.” Schlatt mumbles under his breath, a fond smile on his face.

“How was school?” Puffy yells back at him.

“I made a new friend! His name is George!” Dream says, walking into the kitchen. “Uncle Schlatt!”

“Come give your favourite uncle a hug, kid.” Schlatt smirks.

“Oh, is Uncle Sam over?” Dream says, and Schlatt gasps in mock horror.

“Oh you’ve wounded me!” Schlatt says, dramatically falling to the ground. “The horror! The pain! How could you?”

“And you say that Wilbur hasn’t rubbed off on you.” Puffy laughs, putting the last plates into the dish washer. 

“Hey, he hasn’t.” Schlatt says from where he lies, Dream standing triumphantly over his ‘dead body’. “Just cause that theatre nerd is my friend, doesn’t mean that he’s rubbed off on me.”

“Sure thing.” Puffy laughs, turning the dish washer on. “C’mon now, lets see what homework you have so that you and Uncle Schlatt can hang out for longer.”

---

“Dream.” The teen pauses, halfway out of the window. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing.” Dream’s voice cracks, and he blushes slightly. 

“So, if I came into your room, you wouldn’t be halfway out of your window, in vigilante gear?” Puffy’s voice is light, but he can tell that she’s worried.

“Nope!” Dream smiles brightly. His vigilante gear is kept at George’s house since, well, the other teens parent’s don’t care about what George, Sapnap and Dream do as long as they aren’t too injured.

Puffy sticks her head in, shaking her head when she see’s Dream, still halfway out of the window. She gestures for him to go to bed, sighing.

“You know, when I let your uncle buy us this house I thought that you’d like the yard, not the easy to escape windows.” She smiles, though he can see the nervousness in her eyes. 

“You alright, Mum?”

“There was these two kids, when I was out on patrol.” Puffy says, patting the bed besides her. “I’m worried for them.”

“Why?” Dream asks, slowly pulling himself from the window. “They get mugged or something?”

“They were following the syndicate.” Puffy leans back on the wall, and Dream lets her hug him. “They can’t be older than you, as well. I’m just worried.”

“You weren’t older than me when you adopted me.” Dream points out. 

“I was seventeen. You’re fourteen.”

“Three years.”

“Still makes a difference.” Puffy ruffles his hair. “Now, who were you sneaking out to see. A girl?”

“Primse, Mum! No! I wasn’t.”

---

Puffy watches from another room as Dream and Foolish meet. Foolish flinches away from Dream, who sits down at a distance. Puffy makes herself busy as she looks around the kitchen. Eret may have been adopted by Callahan, but Foolish is her newest son, and she forgot to even warn Dream, the teen’s going to hate this.

“Did Mum pick you up from a villains base as well?” Dream asks after a moment, getting a startled laugh from Foolish.

“Yeah?” The other teen affirms after a moment. “Does she do that a lot?”

“Well, she did it with me. I’m starting to sense a pattern.” Dream jokes, and Puffy relaxes, pulling out some spaghetti. Easy dinner, for tonight, it sounds like.

A few quiet whispers are exchanged by the pair, and then raucous laughter erupts from the lounge room. Yeah, this is home.

---

Dream leans against a tree, pressing bandages into his side. Sapnap stands besides him, nervously looking around to see if any villains or heroes show up. No one does, not even George, who’s probably still sleeping. 

“What did they do to Dad?” Sapnap mumbles weakly after a moment. “Why was he all-”

“Infected?” Dream offers after Sapnap trails off, his eyes a thousand yards away. “He looks like the egg got him.”

“But isn’t Pa enough? Why’d he have to take Dad as well?” Tears pour down Sapnaps face, and Dream winces. “I want my family back.”

“I know.” Dream says, sinking to the ground. “We’ll fix them. We’ll save them. The heroes-”

“The heroes are killing them! They kill anyone who gets possessed!” Sapnap protests. “They’ll kill them.”

“Then I guess we need to oppose the heroes.” Dream says, looking over at the small, dilapidated cottage in the forest. Dream, Sapnap and George had been using it to research how the egg works, and if you can save someone from it’s possession.

“Yeah.” Sapnap help’s Dream up, carrying the seventeen year old to the cottage. “I suppose we have to.”

“The ends will justify the means.” Dream promises. “We’ll be forgiven. Promise.”

---

“Dream?” Puffy can hear Foolish on the phone, trying to call his brother. “Please pick up. We’re not mad at you. Please just come home.”

Puffy can hear Foolish sigh as the phone hangs up, and Schlatt rubs her back supportively. Eret gives Foolish a hug, and Sam contacts the SMP, trying to see if there’s been any sightings of the three missing teens.

“You’ve reached Dream Taken, if you’re my Mum I’m sorry for being late home, I’ll be home soon, if you aren’t my Mum leave a message. Call you back soon!” The automated response hasn’t changed, but Puffy sobs quietly as she hears her sons voice.

“Please, Dream. Come home.” She begs, tears rolling down her face. “Or at least call me back.”

---

People scream in the streets below, Sapnap and Dream razing the city to the ground. The red vines that crept up the buildings wither and decay under the fire, and the pair of them laugh. They’re saving the city, one contained fire at a time.

Those people were probably possessed anyways. They would have died eventually, the so called “heroes” have no morals. Not like Dream and Sapnap and George. At least these three are trying to cure them.

“Stop!” Dread fill’s Dream and Sapnap’s chests as they hear Puffy yell after them. “You are under arrest for arson and-”

“We won’t be going with you.” Dream says, spinning around. He stands protectively in front of Sapnap. “Sorry, Mum, but we’re busy trying to save the cuty.”

“Dream.” He hears Puff gasp, her hands over her mouth. “You’re alive.”

“Don’t sound so shocked.” He growls, taking out a sword.

“Miss Puffy, please. You could join us.” Sapnap offers, his hand on Dream’s arm, calming the other teen. “We’re trying to cure the egg!”

Dream and Puffy both wince, hearing the smile on Sapnap’s voice. That naive, hopeful, pathetic smile that screams ‘we’re doing the right thing’.

“Sap,” Puffy begins, nervously, “Burning the buildings and killing people won’t save anyone.”

“The ends justify the means.” Dream snap, before Sapnap can change his mind. “Are you with us, or are you going to kill us.”

It’s not a question.

“I can’t agree with this.” Puffy says. “But I could never hurt you.”

“You killed my father.” Dream snaps, glaring at the woman he once called mother. “You’ve already broken me beyond repair.”

---

Puffy sits in the hospital bed, staring out of the window. She wasn’t able to fight them, how could she? She raised Dream since he was nine, and she was ‘aunt Puffy’ to Sapnap since he was a baby. How could she hurt these kids she swore to protect, to keep safe?

Foolish sleeps on the chair besides her bed, Eret sleeping on the floor besides him. The pair refused to leave after visiting hours, and Puffy said that it was alright for them to spend the night. How could she send out her son, and the child she considers family?

She stares out the window, watching the sky turn from a dark indigo to a bright orange. Tears drip down her face as phantom fire races up her arms, and she remembers. She doesn’t know why she remembers this poem, this miserable sad poem that she hadn’t thought of since she dropped out of highschool to persue full time heroism.

The notion of some infinitely gentle, infinitely suffering thing.

If that didn’t describe her family, she doesn’t know what does.

[kathyprior4200]

Alastor, Autism and an Ace Author

Yesterday, I discovered something mind-blowing about my favorite Hazbin Hotel character. On Twitter, a user by the name of “puppyclown struggle tweets” or “StinkyRatBoy” proposed a theory they had kept for a while. They claim: “Alastor is on the autism spectrum.”

 My first response in my mind? “Nonsense! Alastor is the most extraverted, sociable and manipulative character we’ve seen so far. You can’t just assume he has a neurological disorder out of nowhere! It’s an insult!”

 But then I read their reasons for it…and it slowly clicked into place. As I read them, they began to make sense…it was a reflection of my own personality. Indeed, I am also asexual/aromantic and on the autism spectrum. Whether Vivziepop meant for Alastor to be on the spectrum remains uncertain at the moment.

 What did they say? Here is their first reason:

 “Alastor is often speaking in a very loud voice, something that autistic people do since they have trouble regulating their volume.”

 Reason 2:

“He has little social awareness, telling Charlie to her face that he wants to see people fail and he doesn’t see why that would make her not want to partner with him.”

 Reason 3:

“He also doesn’t see why people constantly run away from him (as shown in the Alastor comic) getting pretty annoyed when people are too sacred to speak with him, despite him knowing of his reputation.”

 Reason 4:

“His discomfort with people touching him probably being a sensory problem, something I myself struggle with, despite not understanding other people’s physical boundaries, constantly dancing with them and pulling them into side hugs without permission.”

 Reason 5:

“Tying back to social problems, he sees Husk as a friend, despite how much Husk wants to make it clear that he doesn’t like being roped into Alastor’s schemes and interests. He reads Husk’s refusal as just him being in a bad mood.”

 Reason 6:

“His hyperfixation with radio, entertainment and old technology being so strong that it causes him to dislike it changing and becoming more modern and foreign to him. Entertainment is his special interest and he doesn’t want someone showing up and making it different.”

 Reason 7:

“Of course, there’s troubles with physical hygiene, something that autistic people are known to have a hard time with for any number of reasons.”

 Reason 8:

“Him constantly smiling could also be his inability to emote the same way neurotypical people around him do, which is why people find it so strange.”

 Reason 9:

“One more thing! Hs little sound effects and song clips he plays are auditory stims. I said what I said.”

 They certainly said it indeed! Despite me having autism as well, myself and the majority of fans didn’t fully pick up on those traits. We knew that the majority of the Hazbin characters were LGBTQ…but so far, there haven’t been any characters with physical or mental disabilities. If what StinkyRatBoy says is true…and if it’s confirmed by Vivziepop herself…it could be revolutionary, both in the show and real life.

 If Alastor has autism, it could add more depth to his backstory and his character. Being a French Creole colored asexual man in the early 1900s wouldn’t be the ideal status to have in the predominantly white straight male society. Many fans speculate that his mother was kind to him and taught him everything he knows about dancing, music, cooking and Voodoo culture. His father is often portrayed by fans as an abusive alcoholic who wanted to shape Alastor into the ideal “macho man,” that was expected at the time. (No “women’s” work, no theater, got to have sex with girls and provide for the family). His abuse toward Alastor and his mother may have laid the groundwork for Alastor’s decent into becoming a serial killer.

 With his expertise with radios, music and entertainment at a young age, it’s no wonder he became such a renowned broadcaster in New Orleans. Along with music being his special interest, it may have been the very thing that kept him sane when he was ruthlessly bullied by his peers, his father, and society in general. It was his escape, a mental state where he felt safe and secure. Entertainment represents the good side of him…the killing part is what got him into Hell. Murdering racist men and criminals may have been both a new special interest and his way of coping with the trauma he faced. In addition, Alastor’s name, means “spirit of vengeance,” thus it was also his way to get revenge on those who wronged him. Alastor’s side hobby of hunting deer and taxidermy may also have been a way to cope.

 Now in Hazbin Hotel, Charlie will have to find a way to redeem Alastor (and like Angel, Husk and Niffty, he can be redeemed, but it will not be easy). Charlie and the others will eventually learn of Alastor’s condition and his asexuality. (Many people on the spectrum also identify as asexual and have trouble with relationships). As demonstrated by the “Day In The Afterlife” comic, Alastor seeks true friendship and belonging, despite his sadistic nature. He has several allies like Mimzy, Rosie, Husk, Niffty and Charlie, yet also misses his mother. Alastor likes seeing others fail as it reminds him of his powerful status…but when he helps the other Hazbins (and betrays them), he may very well learn that he too, is a “lost cause.” More than ever, he wants to see his mother in Heaven…but he’ll have to develop for the better, first. Not to mention villains like Vox and maybe the angels might try to take advantage of his condition. (Does Heaven discriminate against those deemed “abnormal”?)

 Charlie will likely learn of his condition and help him better express his feelings without feeling vulnerable. “You’re never fully dressed without a smile” is a motto he’s lived by in both his lives. His smile is a mask he wears to hide his true feelings of loneliness and leftover trauma. (World War One, the Great Depression, the Spanish Flu, his death etc. is a new level of trauma!) Niffty will likely help out Alastor with his hygiene…even demons need to bathe, eat and sleep. (His yellow teeth, bags under his eyes, thin body and raggedy nails don’t help matters). Husk will teach Alastor about personal space…and hopefully, Alastor will free Husk and Niffty from working under him in the future. And Charlie of course, will help him get in touch with his feelings, creating a relationship of friendship, mentoring, and hints of romance.  

 Embracing change and expressing feelings is very hard for those on the spectrum…but with therapy, effort and practice, it can be achieved by many. It will take a long time for Alastor to redeem himself, let alone allow himself to cry or fall in love. But the journey, rather than the Heaven destination, is what matters most. After overcoming his evil nature, Alastor will learn to embrace his feelings and condition…even if it means adapting to a moderate amount of change. (There are other ways to seek out justice and entertainment.) I bet his mother will be very proud of him once Alastor is able to make friends and truly be happy.

 Proper representation in media, matters, and Vivziepop has already gone above and beyond. A majority of her characters are LGBTQ or are in LGBTQ relationships. Representing someone with a disability will make the show all the more intriguing, and the characters more relatable. Her show deals with a variety of issues that young adults face in real life: sex, drugs, slavery, rebellion etc. With Alastor supposedly being both LGBTQ + and having a neurological disorder, it is a portrayal not often seen in many cartoons.

 Hopefully in a few years, we’ll get to see more of our deerly beloved radio host in the first season of Hazbin Hotel; we wish him all the best on his journey of redemption and friendship formations!

[waiting4inspiration]

To be Evil III: Do you regret it?

Summary: You find the Tesseract but run into a few problems; the team. They’re not too much of a problem, but when one of your curses hits the wrong person, you can’t help but feel guilty.

Warnings: angst, strong language, fighting, magical elements, Infinity War (rewritten), hero to villain

Word Count: 2,548

To be Evil Masterlist II Marvel Masterlist

Groaning in frustration when you don’t find the Tesseract after looking over the room for the fifth time, you drop your hands and roll your eyes. Now that you remember that you are part of the Mind Stone, you thought that you could find the Space Stone with the same connection you felt with the Power Stone. But you can’t feel anything. 

Not until someone walks into the room. 

“Now, what do we have here?” Loki sings behind you, making you turn around and smile wickedly at him. “Looking for something that you hope will get the team to kick me off so you can have your place?” he questions, making you laugh and shift on your feet as you glance down at your hands. 

Biting your lower lip, you look up at Loki through your lashes. “Oh no. I’m here on a mission,” you state, lifting your head in confidence as you take a step forward. “He wants the Tesseract, and I’m here to get it,” you mention, knowing that he will know who you’re talking about. 

And as his smile falls, you chuckle and step forward again. “You’re working with Thanos,” he says, shaking his head as he laughs to himself. “You don’t seem like the kind of person to be a double agent. You seem too...sweet.”

Glaring coldly at him, you raise a hand and let your power push Loki against the wall. “I am not a double agent. I don’t want to be part of this team anymore, not when Thanos can give me everything I wanted,” you say, walking towards him as he tries to fight the control you have on him. 

“Thanos is using you and you are blind to it-” Placing your hand on his forehead, you stop him from speaking and make his groan in frustration. 

“The team gave me nothing. Thanos is offering me everything I deserve,” you start, taking a step closer as you let your powers fire up. You’re going to read his mind, look where he’s hiding the Tesseract. And confident that you will be rewarded for the success of your mission, your hands start to glow, as do your eyes. 

Ever since you’ve given into your powers and let go of control, your eyes have taken on the same yellow glow your hands have when you think about using your curses. “And soon, this team will regret the day they chose you over me,” you sneer, pushing his head back against the wall as you close your eyes to concentrate. 

Loki takes a deep breath, tries to fight your powers and your efforts to read his mind. This is the first time someone is attempting to do this and he wonders if your powers are really that strong or if his are just that weak. And no matter how hard he tries to hold back, he gives in and reveals the location of the Tesseract. 

But, he won’t walk away with nothing. Seeing an opportunity when you realize where the Tesseract is, he looks into your own mind to try and figure out what made you decide to team up with someone like Thanos. 

You feel Loki reading your mind and seeing the memory of you bursting into life from the Scepter that was given to him by Thanos when he invaded New York. And it’s enough for him to know everything. 

Pushing yourself away from him, you gasp and glare at him. “You’re part of the Mind Stone,” he whispers, both of you panting slightly from the mind-reading experience. 

Laughing at him, you turn your head to your hand and you hold it up. Loki looks at your hand as you conjure up that which he has been hiding; the Tesseract. It shows up from the bottom up, out of thin air, before settling in your hands, making you smile proudly at yourself. 

Loki moves to take a step forward so he can try and take it from you, but you catch him and wave your hand. “Stay,” you whisper, using a curse that freezes him in his spot. It makes his groan in frustration and you chuckle. 

You turn your head back to the blue cube, your hum turning into a chuckle as you make it disappear again, in a place you know this time, and look at Loki again. “I am the Mind Stone. And there is nothing, not you, or the team can do to stop him from getting what I want,” you laugh, and it's such an evil laugh, Loki’s almost impressed. 

Turning around, you walk away with a spring in your step and a sway in your hips. Loki smirks to himself. Seeing you, the person that tried to fight for a place on this team when he was announced as the new member being an enemy reminds him of the time when he went against Thor and this exact team. 

But he knows what Thanos is really trying to accomplish. The question is, do you?

Walking down the hall with a bright smile on your face, like the one you would have when you had completed a mission for the team, you feel good. You feel free, like you don’t have a care in the world.

You’ve never walked like this through the hallways of the compound. You’re basically skipping. You just can’t wait to hand the Tesseract to Thanos and be applauded for your work. He’ll praise you for doing this mission by yourself and you’ll finally get the recognition you’ve been dreaming of getting. 

When you come to the main entrance, you see Loki standing in front of the door. It doesn’t make your smile fade, because you know that he won’t stop you. “Do you really think I would just let you walk away with an Infinity Stone?” he asks cockily, stepping forward and being joined by Thor who holds his hammer tightly in his hand. 

Behind you, you hear footsteps and glance over your shoulder to see Natasha and Clint cut off a retreating escape. “Give up the Tesseract, (Y/n),” Thor speaks as he and Loki walk towards you, slowly. 

Steve and Bucky show up to your right and Tony and Wanda to your left. And all you can think of is what a pity it is that Bruce didn’t come too. Maybe you could have used the Hulk to your advantage. Why you’re thinking about that, you have no idea. “I’m not giving up anything, Thor,” you sternly say, walking into the center of the circle the team makes around you. 

“We know you’re working with Thanos,” Steve mentions, making your head turn towards him, giving him an unbothered look. 

You catch the disappointed look on Bucky’s face, stare at him for a second before turning around to look at Tony who has started to walk closer to you. You didn’t want to look at Bucky for any longer, scared that it might convince you that you’re doing the wrong thing. “If you’re trying to prove a point to us-”

“This isn’t about proving anything, Tony,” you snap, turning around completely to face him, glaring coldly at him with narrow eyes that make him freeze in his tracks. “I don’t have to prove myself to you. I am tired of trying to prove to you that I can handle anything,” you spit, your anger initiating your powers and making your eyes glow yellow again. 

Seeing this makes him tense and he glances down to Wanda at his side. You know what that look means. “You’re losing control,” Natasha speaks when she notices the glow in your eyes and that around your hands. 

Her words make you laugh, and your laugh makes a shiver run down the entire team’s spine. You shake your head as you breathe out a sigh, smiling as you look down at your hands. “No. I’m embracing what all of you tried to get me to push down,” you correct, looking back up at her with a tilt in your head. “I thought it was just an insult when Tony said I was dangerous, but-”

You pause, run your tongue over your lips and then send a power surge so great through the room that it makes everything, even Thor, fall to the ground in crippling pain. It has to be your favorite curse to use on your opponents. You just thought you’d never use it on the team. 

“Turns out he was right. I am dangerous,” you finish, wickedly smirking down at Tony when he looks up at you. “Tell me, Tony, do you regret not giving me a place on this team now that you’ve seen what I’ve become?” you question, kneeling down and resting your arms on your knees as you stare down at him, still concentrating on keeping everyone else down with your mind powers. 

Tony groans as he tries to push himself up, lifts his head to look at you and shakes his head in disappointment. “Is that what you want? Just to be made a member of the team?” he asks back, making you laugh and stand to your feet. 

“No. Not anymore,” you reply, rolling your shoulders as you breathe out a breath and look to the door. “Now, if you’ll all excuse me. I have to be going.” 

Before you can even step forward, the door locks. You can hear the heavy blot shift before the shutters even fall. And you know exactly who is responsible for this. Turning around, you see that Wanda has somehow worked herself free of your mental hold and now stands with her hands glowing her significant red color. 

You take a step towards her as you breathe out a sigh. “You don’t want to do this, Wanda,” you warn, your eyes glancing down to her hands as she brings them forward, crossing her wrists over each other as she takes a step forward. 

“Let them go,” she orders, her eyes glancing down to the grounded team. With a wave of your hands, you lift the yellow haze that keeps them down, lifting the curse you’ve placed on them and smile at Wanda. 

Pumping your eyebrows as you take a step forward. “I did warn you not to do this,” you remind, holding your hands out beside you and creating a kinetic energy barrier around her and slowly forcing it smaller and smaller. 

She tries to fight it, tries to find a way out of your hold, but when you sense the team recovering from what you had done to them and starting to move to defend Wanda, you force the energy down onto her, knocking her unconscious. She was your biggest threat. But with the Space Stone in your possession, she was no match to you. Not when you gave in to your powers. 

Turning around to face the team as Clint rushes over to make sure Wanda’s alright, you sigh as you come to the realization that you won’t be able to fight all of them at once. “I think I’m gonna need some help. Steve, be a doll and help,” you order, throwing a mind-controlling curse at him so he will obey your command and help you fight the team.

But, he lifts his shield and deflects the curse making it hit someone else. Bucky. 

You gasp lightly as he stumbles back and shuts his eyes. He’s fighting with his own mind, that you can clearly see. And when he opens his eyes, your heart stops when you see how emotionless they are. 

“What have you done to him?” Natasha questions, obviously startled by the look on Bucky’s face as if she’s seen that look before. 

When Steve reaches out to touch Bucky’s shoulder, he reaches for his wrist and pushes him to the ground. And suddenly, you’re not the problem anymore. Not when Bucky starts to try and punch Steve to death. 

It was a mistake and you feel terrible for doing this. But with the attention now off you and the Space Stone in your possession, you can leave. You can use the Stone’s power to create a portal to get back to Thanos. And that’s exactly what you do.

When Tony sees you’re gone, he thinks that whatever you have done to Bucky will stop. Turning to find the team trying to restrain him, he knows now why that didn’t happen. Whatever you have done has triggered the Winter Soldier programming in Bucky’s mind, something that was reassured by the Wakandan scientist, Shuri, was gone. 

You’re more powerful than any of them thought. 

You thought that you were making your own path and that you wouldn’t have to worry about anything. That you wouldn’t have to feel guilty about what you had done. But you can’t stop thinking about what you had done to Bucky. You feel...awful. 

Staring out a window of the spaceship you’ve transported yourself to, you sigh to yourself and try to gather up the strength to go and deliver the Tesseract to Thanos, get what you deserve; your praise. So, why are you stuck staring out into space? Literally. 

Catching the reflection of your new superior in the glass, you quickly snap around to face him. “Something did not go according to plan,” he speaks, walking towards you with small steps. 

You sigh, turn your gaze back to the window and shake your head. “I..hurt someone I didn’t mean to hurt,” you confess, biting the inside of your cheek as you fight the guilt building inside you. “Someone who cared about me more than anyone on the team ever did. Someone who was there for me when I felt alone.”

Thanos stands beside you, stays silent for a moment before he takes a breath. You look at him through his reflection, waiting for him to impart some kind of wisdom that will make you feel like becoming...whatever you’ve become wasn’t a mistake. “You have remarkable power and talent that they could not see. But I have seen that,” he starts, making you turn your head up to him to listen more intently. “I have given you a place where your success will not be ignored. And if you had hurt someone that stood in your way, it will not be punished,” he adds. 

It’s so different from what it was like when you were a ‘hero’. Even though you weren’t officially part of the team, when you were on a mission, you had to try and limit the number of casualties. But here, no one seems to care about that. 

Turning your gaze down to your hand as you lift it, you conjure the Tesseract so you can hold it in your hand, making the Titan warlord smile brightly as you turn to hand it to him. “I knew I wouldn’t be disappointed in you,” he states, making your heart beam with content at the praise as he takes the cube from you. 

You watch as he crushes the Tesseract in his hand so he may get to the Infinity Stone inside. And as he places the blue stone in its slot, you feel the connection with it and the Power Stone grows stronger. “What’s next?” you ask, eager for your next mission. 

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[hiro-gari]

Batarou songfic - “MIRACLE” by: Little1993lamb

Hello I’m back again with more Batarou content! 🙋😉💕

This time is not exactly headcanon, but instead I recommended you a heartfelt yet also hearwarming song: “キセキ” or “Kiseki” (Miracle) by Uemura Kana.

That song is kinda fits Batarou relationship. It’s best to consider the song was from Garou’s POV when he reflected about his life with Badd since their fated meeting until they’re become together as lovers.

Also, I was inspired by recently Batarou sketch from @the-goddessfighter, as I wrote the last scene of this songfic based on the drawing: https://the-goddessfighter.tumblr.com/post/643602679242883072/

Please enjoy this little songfic! 😉💕

—————————-

*The song lyrics translation:

Your eyes shine like an innocent child Before I knew it, I was chasing your smiling face all the time

I want to raise the loving feelings now like a flower that begins to bloom in my heart

I had gone up until now without knowing true warmth You were the one who taught it to me The moment I felt the love I couldn’t say, everything looked different

I looked up at the blue sky; even though I’m this close to you The closer we are, the further we get; we’ll only get separated

Now the love song flows in my heart Can you hear the sweet melody, too?

It’s not a coincidence we met then It was a miracle that we searched for You are the mirror that reflects my soul and I’m always, always looking at you

I had gone up until now without knowing true warmth You were the one who taught it to me The moment I felt the love I couldn’t say, everything changed that day

It’s not a coincidence we met It was a miracle that we searched for You are the mirror that reflects my soul I’m glad that I met you in this world

—————————–

Based off the lyrics, please listening to the song while imagining this kind of scenario..

—————————–

–🌸 Your eyes shine like an innocent child Before I knew it, I was chasing your smiling face all the time 🌸–

Garou just realized that he always Badd’s genuine tender smile and those sharp eyes full of adoration in which he showed for Garou only.

Never had thought that the delinquent hero has a very soft side that almost like an innocent child, not as a brute fighter teenager.

Before the former hero hunter knew it, he was chasing Badd’s angelic smiling face all the time. He yearned to make Badd smile for him even just for the slightest.

–🌸 I want to raise the loving feelings now like a flower that begins to bloom in my heart 🌸–

Garou wanted to convey this blooming romantic feelings for Badd, as it grows bigger throughout time the more he spends time together with the beautiful hero.

–🌸 I had gone up until now without knowing true warmth You were the one who taught it to me The moment I felt the love I couldn’t say, everything looked different 🌸–

Ever since he was a little kid until now, Garou never knowing nor receiving true warmth. Not from his absent parents, not from his friends, not even from Bang.

It was Badd who taught it to him, giving it unconditionally day by day during the time they have spent together. So patiently healing and comforting Garou’s wounded heart without fail.

The moment Garou realized he was falling in love with Badd, he couldn’t tell anything to him. He didn’t know what he supposed to say because he just experienced it for the first time in his life.

Everything looked so different once Garou tasted what first love is.

–🌸 I looked up at the blue sky; even though I’m this close to you The closer we are, the further we get; we’ll only get separated 🌸–

Back then when they were still on different sides, Garou had tried to get closer to the hero “Metal Bat” on that fated day. And he was succeeded at doing it as Garou fought him, getting as close as possible to him in a one-on-one combat.

Also for the second time of their encounter in different battlefield, where Garou showed Badd a different side of him.

But the closer they are with each other during those situations, the further they have got. They would only got separated as it became more clearer Badd and him were on two polar opposite: Garou was a monster villain and Badd was an S-Class hero. The ultimate evil vs the ultimate good.

Garou had already convinced himself that Badd was just as the same as the other S-Class heroes who mocked his defeat and wanting him perished.

But he was wrong. Badd was coming to defend him, shielding Garou from any judgemental eyes by his own wrecked and bloodied body.

And just before Garou took the chance to run away, he could see Badd’s understanding smile for him.

–🌸 Now the love song flows in my heart Can you hear the sweet melody, too? 🌸–

During the time of him being fugitive, Garou couldn’t forget of what Badd had done. He wondered if he would meet the kindhearted delinquent hero once again someday, somewhere.

Unbeknown by himself, a newfound feeling has grown in Garou’s heart, filling it with so much yearning and longing. Just like a poetic love song, Garou dedicated it to the beautiful hero.

Could Badd also heard and feel it, too?

Then one day, Garou’s wish came true. He met Badd again for the third time when Badd found him trying to do his best to blend with society by working on part-time job, paying off all of his crimes he had done in the past.

And this time, Badd offered Garou to live together with him. So Garou wont be alone and lonely anymore.

Even more, Badd also encouraged him to become what he wanted all along: a hero.

–🌸 It’s not a coincidence we met then It was a miracle that we searched for You are the mirror that reflects my soul and I’m always, always looking at you 🌸–

Garou believed that it was not a coincidence they have met then. It was a destiny, a “miracle” that allowed them to connect with each other. To understand each other despite the rough beginning. Something that Garou have been searching for after all this time. And he found it in Badd.

For him, Badd is the mirror that reflected his soul. Maybe even the perfected mirror of what Garou himself could be if he just believed in himself.

Badd is everything that Garou really wanted to be. A hero.

The brave, strong, yet very kindhearted one. Someone who doesn’t seek for a popularity and just doing what he should do to protect people he loves.

Secretly smart and have good intelligence to use it in battlefield, despite people’s misjudgement. Always choose to fight in a fair game, never being a bully. Using his strength when he was on duty only, not flaunting it in front of people to show it off.

Doesn’t afraid to show kindness and his softer side to people who need his help, treating them with so much patient and tenderness.

Protected the outcast, weaker kids, and encouraging them to reach whatever they have been dreaming for, as Badd himself was also an outcast kid back then. Doesn’t believe in absolute justice, as he believes in fairness.

An ideal hero, just like what Garou has always wanted to be. His ideal hero.

That’s why Garou will be always, always looking at Badd. He will be always looking at him with deep respect, admiration and adoration. Giving Badd all of appreciation that he definitely deserved.

As a hero, and also as a person.

–🌸 I had gone up until now without knowing true warmth You were the one who taught it to me The moment I felt the love I couldn’t say, everything changed that day 🌸–

Ever since Garou lives together with Badd, he feels so blessed by Badd’s warmth presence. No matter how damping or ruined his day, Badd has always makes sure to shower him with love, support, and comfort.

Garou, who doesn’t know how to accept genuine affections before, slowly warmed up to Badd. He learned what is love and how to reciprocate someone’s love from Badd. Learning how to trust someone who believed in him.

Badd was the one who taught Garou all of that.

–🌸 It’s not a coincidence we met It was a miracle that we searched for You are the mirror that reflects my soul I’m glad that I met you in this world 🌸–

Both Garou and Badd believed that their fated encounters were not some coincidences. Those are a “miracle” that they have been searching for their whole life.

To find, complement and complete each other. In the all of imperfectness of their own that could be filled with the other’s. So they would be perfecting each other.

To become soulmates.

They’re so different yet also very similar at the same time, like a reflection on a mirror, which revealing their souls inside; their true self.

Once Garou and Badd recognized the other’s true self after having long way of mutual pinings, they immediately embraced each other, uniting and solidifying their love in a happy confessions.

It was a miracle that Garou finally found someone who understand him and being a half part of him.

Now that they have become lovers, Garou wanted to appreciate Badd wholeheartedly. He will cherished him for the rest of his life..

–🌸 “…” 🌸–

Today is their 1st dating anniversary and he asked Badd to walk together with him, going out to watching the Magnolia trees blooming on the top of City S’ highest hill. They always go there whenever they wanted some peace or to refreshing their mind after long missions together, it eventually becomes their favorite private place.

Finally reaching the place, they stood under a huge Magnolia tree, enjoying the magnificent sight of it from below. It’s already on spring season so all of the flowering trees were already blooming, including this tree they’re currently standing under.

Badd was mesmerized by the majestic panorama around them. The spring breeze of wind made the pink Magnolia delicate flower petals falling down onto the ground.

Some of them were landing on Badd’s silky messy hair, which making Badd looked even more prettier. Garou couldn’t help but admired the angelic figure of his beloved hero beside him.

Garou wanted to tell Badd that he’s the most beautiful man Garou ever seen and made him fell in love the second he laid his eyes on Badd, a dignified person who has a great talent as a hero, has a pure and soft heart.

With tenderness, Garou approaching Badd and embraced his boyfriend tightly from behind. His arms encircled Badd’s waist protectively, as Garou gently kissed Badd’s nape and the soft flesh on his neck.

Feeling his boyfriend’s intimate loving gesture, Badd just looking at Garou behind him with loveliest smile and such adoration twinkling in his eyes.

Badd slowly put his own hands on top of Garou’s hands, enveloped the colder hands with his own warm ones. Their fingers intertwined to emphasize their intimacy in such romantic moment like this.

Then, with his rare tenderly voice, Garou whispered his deepest feeling of gratefulness he has for Badd into his ear:

– “I’m glad that I met you in this world, Badd. Thank you for having me in your life. Gonna loving you forever.. ” –

Badd was blushed at that moment Garou take a look of him with that stupidly soft grin, and whispered again that Badd looked beautiful as ever.

The young hero was chuckling lightly as an immediate response, simple yet joyful smile showed on his face. Only for Garou.

Finally, Garou kissed Badd’s cheek and caught Badd’s plushy lips for some heartfelt kisses.

They proceed to share their sweet moments together under the Magnolia tree, where noone else was around to witness them.

Celebrating their Miracle together, just two of them..

——————————

🌻 THE END 🌻

—————————–

Notes:

So how was it? 😳✨ I’m so sorry if the songfic was so messy and mostly makes no sense, as it was only a bunch of jumbled incoherent words 😅💦

Also, I apologized if I lately didn’t write much headcanons or ficlets like before. Writer’s block combined by burnout and demotivation thoughts hits me hard nowadays 😢 But I’ll try to keep going so the Batarou fandom still have new contents, hope you guys wont get bored of me yet, ehehe 😊😆

Special thanks always being delivered for: @hiro-gari, @the-goddessfighter, @kaincuro, @guby1620, @garous-nipple, @jusqu-une-etudiante, and @lovelybutnot-ablankcanvas, also all of Batarou shippers in the fandom! 😘💖💖

By the way, to @the-goddessfighter: When I was listening to the song, I couldn’t help but thinking that the part of the lyrics on “I had gone up until now without knowing true warmth, You were the one who taught it to me” and “I’m glad that I met you in this world”, are kinda matched your super tender Batarou sketch illustration I love it so much! 😣💕💖

Thus I made this songfic based on both the song and your art! Think of this songfic as my way to cheer you up during busy weeks, hopefully you didn’t mind about it 😅🙇

Love you all, and hope you guys have many great days~ 😚😘❤💜💙💖💝🌸🌻💐

-Little1993lamb-

—————————–

~Lilia:

😭😭 Pulling at my heartstrings as always~ I LOVE IT!! These lyrics got me in my feels so much! The song describes their relationship so perfectly hnnnng 💕 Thank you for the translation and the fluffy scenario to complement it, this made my whole day!

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Painted Windows 10

Warnings: violence, trauma, allusions to abuse and noncon, isolation, torture, further tags to be added.

This is dark!Bucky and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Everything’s perfect until it’s not.

Note: Heads up that I don’t know how updates will continue on. I’ll be working on other non fanfic work as well as a medieval!Steve fic at the same time as this. Also the world is wild right now and I don’t know exactly what’s gonna happen in the next week or so. Thank you. Love you guys!

Please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3

Masterlist

Bucky spent six days with you. You tracked them as diligently as those alone. You woke together and fell asleep together. It was a stark contrast against the near two weeks in your solitary gloom. You basked in it. You welcomed his attention, his stolen kisses, for dread of what would happen otherwise.

On the seventh day; whole week, you woke up alone. You sat up in a panic but his voice soothed you. He stood at the window, his broad back lined with muscles and tense as he dragged a finger down the glass. You let out a quiet sigh and laid back as you drew the covers over your shoulders.

“Tomorrow…” He said glumly. “No, I know… but you can’t-- No, no. Fine. Yeah.” He bent his fingers and pressed his knuckles to the window. “Alright. Bye.”

He hung up. He was angry; you could tell by his tone, by his stance. You didn’t move as you hoped he wouldn’t notice you, but his eyes were on you in a moment. He placed his phone on the window ledge and forced a smile. He crossed to the bed.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you, I just had to deal with some business.” He lifted the edge of the blankets and crawled in next to you. He hugged you to him as he nestled against the pillows. “Morning, sugar.” He kissed you and nuzzled your cheek.

“Morning,” You croaked as you succumbed to him. 

He clung to you for a while. Silent. He was content to embrace you as his chest moved against you. You closed your eyes, tempted to fall back asleep. You thought he had until his voice broke the lull.

“Sorry, sugar,” He withdrew his metal arm and rolled flat on his back. His other arm remained beneath you. “I got bad news.”

“Bad news?” You propped yourself up on an elbow. 

“I have to go for a while,” He said. An icy dagger sank into your chest. “Just a few days.”

“Go?” You gasped. “Bucky, please…”

“You know I have to,” He reached over and stroked your cheek. “You rid this world of one evil and another rises.”

“But- but--”

“You have the phone,” He said. “You have all you need to keep you well. You’re safe.”

“No, no,” You sat up. “No, I can’t be alone… you don’t understand. If I’m alone, I’ll…” 

You clamped your lips together and spun away from him. You scurried across the bed before he could catch you. You heard him though, behind you. You raced into the bathroom. You slammed the door and pressed your body to the other side. He thumped into it but made no effort to open it, though he could have easily.

“Sugar,” He pleaded. “You know I can’t stay here all the time. I can’t keep you here if I have no money.”

You frowned. He was right but you didn’t care. You didn’t want to be alone again. The thought already had the darkness creeping over you. You turned and leaned on the door. You stared at the tub. You thought of how you had kept yourself beneath the water. What would he do if he came back and you were blue and bloated?

“Can’t they send someone else?” You asked.

“It’s my job, sugar,” He said gently. “I don’t want to go any more than you want me to but don’t you know why I have to?”

“No,” You grumbled.

“Because of you,” He answered. “Because I know it will keep you safe and happy here. With me.”

“Can’t I…” You paused and knew it was a hopeless question. You asked it anyway. “Go with you?”

Another silence. You heard him sigh and his fingers tapped on the door. “You know you can’t.” He uttered.

“I know,” You accepted, “I know but… I don’t know if I can be alone again.”

“You call me when you wake up and I’ll call you before you sleep,” He coaxed. “I’ll make sure you’re okay, sugar. You won’t be alone, I promise, not really.”

“I will,” You insisted. 

“Sugar…” His voice deepened and the door jolted. 

You stumbled as he pushed through. You turned to face him as you caught yourself on the sink. His metal hand was in a fist and his jaw ticked as he blocked the doorway with his body.

“You’re being a child,” He snarled.

The change was so sudden it was like a slap across the face. This man who held you not moments before had become a snorting bull. His eyes were almost black as they bore into you and his features were tinged with irritation.

“Bucky,” You stepped away from the sink, “Bucky, I’m just scared.”

“You’re stubborn.” He crossed his arms. “And ungrateful.”

“No, no, never,” You clasped your hands together and neared him cautiously. “I could never--”

“You think I want to leave you?” He challenged. “You think I want to go out and kill just to put food on the table?”

“Bucky,” You fought to keep your voice from quavering. “I… I’m sorry, I’ll be good.”

“All I do, I do for you,” He snapped. “And you still treat me like a villain.”

“No, I didn’t mean it like that,” You reached out and touched his arm. “I really didn’t. I… I overreacted. I--”

He moved so quickly you yelped. He grabbed you and pushed you back until you were against the sink. His hands squeezed your arms painfully as if he wanted to shake you. You gripped the porcelain and quivered as you looked up at him. You felt as if you couldn’t breathe.

“You don’t know how good I’ve been to you,” He snarled. “I could be bad.” His metal hand slipped from your arm and stretched over your throat. “You don’t know…”

“No, you’re not bad,” You pleaded as you touched his metal arm. “You aren’t. I know that. Please… I’m sorry. I didn’t--”

His lips crashed into yours as his fingers tightened on your throat. His tongue invaded your mouth and his other hand fell from your arm. He snaked his other hand around you and kneaded your ass roughly. You pushed against his chest as he devoured you and crushed you painfully against the sink.

He hoisted you up onto the edge of the sink. His hand slid around to your thigh and he forced your legs apart as he stepped between them. He pinched you sharply and pressed his fingers to the crotch of your panties. You whimpered and tried to rip his hand away.

You could hear the chaotic beating of your heart. You could hardly gulp enough air past his grasp and his lips. Your eyes burned with tears and you bit down on his tongue. He tore away from you and you kicked out at him as he touched his lips.

You hopped down from the sink and nearly fell to your knees. He spat blood onto the tile as you hurried for the door. He caught the back of your nightgown and you grabbed the doorknob desperately. 

He grunted and shoved you against the door instead and quickly pinned you there with his body. You sobbed and he gripped the edge of the door as he trapped you there. He took slow, measured breaths and shuddered. You felt him nuzzle your head as he leaned into you.

“I’m sorry,” He whispered. His anger swept away as quickly as it came. “I’m sorry, sugar.” His hand brushed along your hip and his erection poked you through his briefs. “I’m just… scared too.” He kissed the top of your head. “Very scared.”

“It’s…” You trembled between him and the door. You braced yourself for more but he remained as he was. “It’s okay. I know… I know you didn’t mean it.”

“I didn’t,” He uttered into your hair as he slowly pushed himself away from you. “I didn’t. Sugar, I’d never hurt you. You know that, don’t you?”

“Y-yes,” You stuttered; lying to yourself as much as him. “Yes, I know you wouldn’t. I know, Bucky.”

Even after your argument, you were sad to see Bucky go. He left early and you watched through the window. He glanced up as he closed the trunk and waved though he could not see you. He knew you were there. Where else would you be? What else did you have?

He drove away and you went back to bed. You didn’t sleep, just laid there. You thought about him lying there beside you. You ignored the tug at the corner of your mind; the way his eyes would change, his voice too, the feel of his hand on your throat. You lingered there until just before noon. The sun was brighter than usual, or perhaps your world was darker.

You were roused by a peculiar noise. You sat up as the door handle clicked and you clutched the blanket as the door slowly opened just an inch. A knock came and a familiar but unexpected voice came from the other side.

“Dora?” Steve kept himself hidden behind the door. “Is it okay if I come in?”

You gaped at the door. You hoped Bucky had found some excuse to get away and returned to you. You never expected to see Steve again, let alone that day. Yet, you were happy to hear his voice. You glanced down at your pajamas and threw away the blankets.

“Just a minute,” You called back as you got up and rushed to grab your robe and pull it on. “Okay.”

You stood with your hands clasped together as Steve inched the door further inward. He entered cautiously and closed the door softly behind him. He had a box under his arm as he smiled over at you.

“I didn’t disturb you, did I?” He asked.

“What are you doing here?” You didn’t answer him.

“Well, I promised Bucky I’d check in on you.” He said as if it should have been obvious. “And I… well, I got you something and I just couldn’t wait.”

“What?” You tilted your head. “You got me something?”

“Nothing special,” He shifted the box from under his arm and held it out to you. 

You blinked and took it from him. It was an origami kit, complete with patterned paper and an instruction book. You gazed down at it and smiled. Your cheeks hurt from the unusual gesture. You peered up at him and hugged the box.

“You really got this for me?” You asked.

“Yeah, I saw it and thought of you so I… grabbed it,” He chuckled nervously. “Anyway, Bucky just asked me to dip my head in and make sure you weren’t too lonely.”

“Oh, you’re not staying?” You wondered.

“I can, for a bit,” He offered. “But I don’t wanna intrude or anything.”

“No, not at all,” You could barely withhold your joy, or explain it. “Do you want a tea or coffee?”

He seemed surprised by the question. He gave a small chuckle and tucked his hands in his pocket. “Not much for coffee. I’ll just have some water.”

“Okay,” You placed the box in the middle of the table. 

You filled a glass as he unzipped his jacket and hung it over a chair. He sat and you set the water before him. He smiled and thanked you. Suddenly restless, you made yourself sit.

“Do you… I dunno,” You ran your fingers along the edge of the box. “Do you wanna make some?”

“Sure,” He said. “I forgot my frog last time.”

“Oh, yeah, I’m sorry, I…”

“I can make another one,” He assured you. “A better one… I’ve been practising.”

You laughed under your breath, afraid he might hear you. The idea of him folding little frogs on his own was almost comical to you. You wiggled the lid off and started to unpack the contents of the box.

“Dora,” He ventured, as if afraid to spook you. “How have you been?”

“Good,” Your voice squeaked and you scrunched your lips in embarrassment. “Good. I’ve been… here.”

“Oh… and do you like it here?”

“Like it here?” You wondered. “Of course, why wouldn’t I? I have everything I need here and…” You frowned and looked through the booklet. You peeked up at him again. “Why are you asking?”

“Just wondering how you are, Dor,” He said smoothly. “That’s what friends do.”

“Friends?” You repeated.

“Well…” He shrugged. “Hoped we could be.”

You nodded and looked through the rainbow of paper. You took a sheet and handed the stack to him. 

“I don’t have any friends,” You said quietly.

“Well, what about Bucky?” He asked.

“Yeah, uh, Bucky, of course but…” You were shaking. The paper was too. You slapped it down and spread your hands over it. “We can be friends, too.”

“Good.” He smiled again. “You know, I don’t have too many myself.”

You looked down and folded the paper down the middle. You distracted yourself with the straight lines; corner to corner and back to back. Bucky could be nice but Steve was nice. You glanced up at him as he took the booklet and flipped through to the frog pattern. You mulled over the word ‘friend’. You supposed it had many different meanings.

[monstersdownthepath]

Spiritual Spotlight: Angazhan, the Ravenous King

Chaotic Evil Demon Lord of Apes, Tyrants, and Jungles

Domains: Animal, Chaos, Evil, Plant Subdomains: Decay, Demon, Fur, Growth

The Complete Book of the Damned, pg. 18~19

Obedience: Ingest hallucinogenic jungle plants and then beat a complex rhythm on a large drum made of human skin and bones while chanting prayers to Angazhan. Benefit: Gain a +4 profane bonus on saving throws against diseases and poisons caused by exposure to the jungle or inflicted by creatures native to jungles.

Heurgh, Angazhan has some pretty restrictive requirements here, and his Benefit really only works against a single environment, making Angazhan one of the most environmentally-locked deities since Dagon! It’s fitting, considering Angazhan is basically only worshiped in Darkest Africa the Mwangi Expanse, a massive and terrifying jungle he’s had his six-fingered hands buried deep into ever since humanity began settling the land. Since worship rarely ever leaves a jungle home, any player character wanting to serve the Ravenous King had better make sure they’ll be sticking close to the vine-draped homeland, or they’re just completely out of luck! Not just because they lose out on the benefit above, but because they lose out on a good number of Boons too!

anyway, it’s a difficult alignment to set up for and keep a secret, if you’re trying to hide your worship of the Tyrant King. You COULD pass off the drum as being made of animal tissues, but the loud chanting to a known and famous Demon Lord and the fact you’re likely to be seeing stars and colors due to your Hearty Breakfast is much harder to explain if someone kicks your door in. The fact you need both jungle drugs and a drum means this Obedience is utterly ruined if you get robbed or have your equipment stolen, though at the very least it’s easy enough to replace your belongings... if you’re in a jungle. If you’re not, getting a new drum is simple, but a visit to the black market may be necessary to restock on your Hearty Breakfast.

The benefit is notably weaker than other benefits of a similar theme; a few deities are generous enough to give universal protections from poison and disease, but Angazhan punishes you for going where he cannot tread. Fitting for a tyrant who likes having people under his thumb, but annoying for someone trying to actually extend his reach. In a jungle area, however, it’s MUCH more impressive than it looks in a vacuum; many, many, many, MANY horrors within the deep and mysterious tangles rely on poisons or disease to fell their enemies and their prey, so the added protection will always come in handy!

Boons are acquired slowly: the first once you reach 12 hit dice, the second at 16, and the third at 20. However, the Evangelist, Exalted, and Sentinel Prestige Classes can be entered as early as level 7; doing so grants you the Boons at levels 10, 13, and 16 instead. Servants of demons may also take the Demoniac Prestige Class; you don’t get the Boons any faster than E/E/S, but you may select which Boon set you get, and you get cool demon-related powers!

------- EVANGELIST -------

Boon 1: The Jungle Consumes. Gain Pass Without Trace 3/day, Tree Shape 2/day, or Spike Growth 1/day.

‘Consumes’ indeed; Spike Growth can render a frankly offensive amount of terrain completely inhospitable (ten 20ft squares!), shredding 1d4 HP off every creature trying to pass through a single 5ft square and threatening to halve their movement speed for a full day every time they take damage. As anyone who’s played as or fought against a Druid can attest to, Spike Growth is useful for exactly two things (slowing an enemy’s retreat or advance) but it’s amazing at doing so. The sheer amount of terrain the spell covers and the length of time it covers for (an hour per level) makes useful for stopping everything from a charging dragon to a charging army... provided your foe has less than 4 DR. In order to halve someone’s movespeed they need to actually take damage from the growth AND fail a Reflex save, meaning even the meager DR 5 you’re likely to encounter at levels 10+ is enough to make Spike Growth completely irrelevant.

If you can use it against a foe who’s not immune to it, though, it’s absolutely stellar. Moving through even a single 20ft square triggers four separate Reflex saves to avoid having one’s movespeed halved for a full day, and--as written--the halved speed can’t be undone with Fast Healing or Regeneration, the victim MUST find a Cure spell. Perhaps the biggest downside is that using it to its fullest potential--that is, to cripple a charging swarm of foes--is unlikely to happen, delegating it to crowd control versus a small amount of enemies.

It’s leagues better than the niche Tree Shape, but Pass Without Trace also has its merits, hiding up to 10 people from sniffing noses and prying eyes for half a day, letting you and your allies effortlessly vanish into the foliage. Indeed, all three of these spells are extremely useful in the jungle setting Angazhan demands you remain in, so if you ARE actually hiding around in the Mwangi Expanse, all three of these can be genuine picks depending on if you plan to be a trapper, a stalker, or a sentree that day.

Boon 2: Canopy Crawler. Your feet become prehensile and apelike, allowing them to act as a second pair of hands for every purpose except wielding a shield or weapon, such as to execute somatic components, to aid in climbing, to hold objects, and to maintain your Dexterity bonus to AC while climbing. In addition, you gain a climb speed equal to your walking speed +10, and can attempt a Climb check in place of the following checks: Acrobatics checks to swing or leap between branches and vines; Stealth checks to remain hidden within trees, and you can move at full speed through them without penalty; and Stealth checks to snipe from trees, the penalty for doing so reduced by 10. 

The way this ability is written in the book is kind of a mess, so I tried my best to shuffle it into a more easily digestible form.

Anyway: Freaky monkey feet! For all your freaky monkey feet needs! One of the more unique Boons in the game, and unlike most highly unique Boons, this one is still highly useful! While your handfeet can’t wield weapons or shields, you can use them for more or less anything else while your actual human hands are occupied. Sleight of Hand? No, my friend, I’m on a completely different level.

The big star here is the free climb speed, which automatically gives you a meaty +8 to Climb checks, making the various skill checks it replaces much, much easier to exploit. You become an expert of gorilla... guerrilla... Gorilla Guerrilla Warfare, soundlessly moving from tree to tree and hurling spears or firing arrows with nary a peep but for the whoosh of the weapon through the branches and leaves, moving from position to position as easily as playing hopscotch. Even if you never invested in Stealth at all, you can suddenly pour ranks into Climb and become an ersatz Rogue for the party, leading a silent charge against the foes of the Ravenous King’s cult. 

Side note, this ability combines beautifully with all 3 of the spell-likes from The Jungle Consumes, as your brachiating movements put you above Spike Growth, Pass Without Trace makes you utterly impossible to nonmagically track if you attack at night, and Tree Shape lets you become a horror movie villain that vanishes the instant it appears you’re about to be ‘caught.’

Boon 3: One With The Jungle. While in the jungle, you gain blindsight to a range of 60 feet, you gain a +2 insight bonus to AC and on saving throws, and you are never flat-footed or surprised. You ignore cover and concealment caused by natural features of the jungle, as the very plants and stones twist out of the path of your attacks and spells.

An eternal Diet Foresight if your reward for remaining in the Ravener King’s grip, but this ability--unlike Canopy Crawler--is entirely blank if you adventure outside of your god’s chosen locale, a punishing loss of an otherwise incredibly strong defensive ability. Being impossible to catch by surprise is good enough on its own, especially at levels where enemies can have Sneak Attacks exceeding +4d6, poisons that cause people to hemorrhage ability scores, or fatal grappling embraces, to say nothing of what happens if a spellcaster gets the drop on everyone. The +2 to AC and universal bonus to saving throws will struggle to make a difference, but it’s a rare insight bonus and will thus stack with all your existing bonuses... and, of course, it lasts forever so long as you remain in a jungle.

I enjoy that the jungle will shuffle aside to let you shoot and swat your enemies without penalty, making my ‘treetop sniper’ suggestion in Canopy Crawler even more viable. Now, as long as you can see even the smallest portion of your target, the natural world will bend and sway to avoid your blows so that they always strike true, letting you attack enemies without the possibility of them retaliating unless they begin cutting down the whole jungle... at which point they’ll have much bigger issues than just you.

------- EXALTED -------

Boon 1: Jungle’s Wrath. Entangle 3/day, Bull’s Strength 2/day, or Summon Monster III (1 fiendish ape, 1d3 fiendish advanced baboons, or 1d4+1 fiendish baboons) 1/day.

Bull’s Strength is always nice to have to give the beefy members of your party, giving them an extra +2 to attack and damage rolls for ten or so minutes at a time, among other bonuses. Strength bonuses are some of the most boring but practical things you can hand out, because you never know when you’ll just need to do something as simple as moving a large rock or hit something for 2 more points of damage than normal. Having it at twice a day means it’ll likely carry through the most important battles or puzzles you’ll face.

Entangle, however, tends to be the better option here. See everything I said above about Spike Growth? Paste that here, as well, but trade off the damage for the ability to grapple everything trying to move through the 40ft radius(!) of plantlife you’ve affected. In some ways it’s better than Spike Growth, utterly halting the movement of anyone heading through it if they fail their save rather than halving it, and being difficult terrain even if the victims succeed, which halves their speed anyway.

Seeing summoning abilities on a Boon is usually good, but the painful limitation of only being able to summon various demon apes means it severely lacks its normal Swiss Army application. It’s only really good if you need either a distraction, or something heavy moved, both of which could be accomplished with Entangle and Bull’s Strength without it being tied to a creature with subhuman intelligence. At the very least, apes have humanoid hands and can thus perform tasks very few other summoned creatures could do, such as wielding weapons.

Boon 2: Summon Child of Angazhan. 1/day as a swift action, you can summon an Advanced Fiendish Girallon, 1d3 Advanced Fiendish Dire Apes, or 1d4+1 Advanced Fiendish Apes as if you had cast Summon Monster VI.

In spite of my mockery of the Boon above, the ape restriction here is anything but painful. ... well, it’s painful for anyone who’s not you, mind. An Advanced Fiendish Girallon is a CR 8 monstrosity with enough damage output and resilience from the Fiendish template to punch above its weight class. A Girallon is a four-armed, Large-sized ape beast with five attacks (and Rend!) a round, with enough agility and maneuverability to run down fleeing foes or chase them through just about any terrain easily.

It’s also your best option among the summons; the Dire Apes and normal apes are nice, but the chance of summoning a single Dire Ape or a meager 2 fiend apes means a Girallon is the best go-to unless you need a lot of bodies rather than one large one. The Fiendish template is really what gives this ability the oomph it needs to shrug off most of my criticism of Jungle’s Wrath, granting even your normal apes a bit of Spell Resistance and elemental resistance to Fire and Acid... though, notable, both the normal ape and the Dire Ape have too few HD to gain the advanced benefits of the Fiendish template, and none of the creatures here have high enough Charisma to make the Smite Good ability granted to them useful, even with the +4 to all ability scores from Advanced.

Perhaps the biggest gold star this power has, however, is the fact that it can be used as a swift action. You can instantaneously flank an enemy with a murderous gorilla and then stab them in the back when they rightly turn around to look at said murderous gorilla in disbelief, or you can blast them with another spell, or you can do any number of other things with the distraction you’ve just created. Don’t forget that Summon Monster VI also has a range of Close, letting you hurl a demon gorilla at an enemy from 25+5ft/lvl away. The downside, however, is that SMVI also has a duration of a meager 1 round/lvl, meaning you’ll often run into the issue of saving the use of this ability, often until you no longer need it.

Boon 3: Jungle’s Might. You gain a +2 profane bonus to your Strength score and a +2 bonus on Fortitude saving throws.

Useful but boring. It’s moderately better than most stat-buffing Boons thanks to the additional Fortitude bonus, but final Boons typically give +4 bonuses, not +2. There’s no flash or pizazz here, nothing to really expand upon, so lets move on!

------- SENTINEL -------

Boon 1: Tyrant’s Roar. Gain Command 3/day, Sound Burst 2/day, or Suggestion 1/day.

I almost got mad because I mistook Sound Burst for a different, much worse spell. Nope! That was sonic scream or whatever, one I’m so unimpressed with I didn’t even bother looking it up. Sound Burst is significantly better, anyway, able to stun a small crowd of enemies in a single casting, which is exactly what you--as the Sentinel--want to happen. Either because you’re holding back an enemy(/ies) for your allies to get into place, or because you’re holding them still so you can get in close. The damage it deals is pitiful, but it’s automatic even if they succeed against the stun effect, and you never know when 8 damage to up to a crowd will make a difference!

Like most of Angazhan’s blessings, it gets better if you’re in a jungle, as the hostility of the Mwangi Expanse means invaders are likely to be clustered together as tightly as possible to prevent attacks from all angles. Punish them, hard.

Command is in-character for the Tyrant King, and it rewards creative uses beyond the ‘come,’ ‘stay,’ and ‘drop’ commands, though those serve their purpose well enough. I’m quite partial to KNEEL, which fits Angazhan rather well! The only problem is that its low saving throw scaling means it’s unlikely to affect enemies that matter, and in combat it’s often much better to just rush in and start slapping. Out of combat Suggestion is king, though it’s an odd choice for someone who tends to force people to follow his orders through violence and threats rather than relying on coercive and subtle magic. Personally, I’d let the Face of the party or the dedicated enchanter rely on Suggestion, and carry Sound Burst around for those times you need to explode people’s eardrums.

Boon 2: Reign of Terror. You add your Strength modifier to Intimidate checks (this does not stack with Intimidating Prowess or similar feats and abilities) as well as your Charisma modifier. Once per minute, you may use Intimidate to demoralize a single creature within 30ft as a swift action, or all creatures within 10ft as a move action. When using Intimidate to demoralize a creature in this way, if your result exceeds the DC by 5 or more, the creature is frightened for 1 round and then shaken for the normal duration; if your result exceeds the DC by 10 or more, the creature cowers for 1 round, then is frightened for 1 round, and then is shaken for the normal duration. When you use Intimidate to demoralize an ally, instead of being shaken, that creature gains a +2 morale bonus on attack rolls for the appropriate duration.

While normally Boons are built to be taken advantage of by any class within the margins of those who can enter the Prestige Classes in the first place, sometimes you get one that forces you into a specific path. This one highly, highly rewards having both a high Strength and a high (or at least neutral) Charisma, and focusing a feat or two into making your Intimidate as high as possible can see you sending squadrons of enemy combatants scattering and trampling one another to get away from you. I love, love, LOVE that there’s no per-day use restriction on this power, only that it can be used once per minute, meaning you can bring it out in more or less every fight you encounter.

Exceeding the victim’s Intimidation DC by 10 or more causes them to cower, a status affliction barely above paralysis in how terrible it is to be suffering, opening them up to a whole round of being beat on without any ability to retaliate. Even if they survive the round of helplessness, they’re forced to run from you and use whatever resources they have available to get as far away from you as possible... which can be a blessing or a curse depending on what they were carrying and how badly you wanted it.

Being able to Intimidate a single foe as a swift action or a whole crowd surrounding you as a move action is strong, especially if you can bolster your prowess enough to always score 10 higher than their DC (a challenge, but not an insurmountable one)... And even if your enemies are immune to being intimidated either because they’re mindless, starved, or immune to fear, you can use this ability to give your whole team +2 to attack rolls for 4+ rounds. It’s more of a consolation prize than anything else, but note that the final sentence does not say “in this way,” meaning you can use Intimidate normally without needing the 1/minute bolstering to give your allies a bit more accuracy! Wasteful, but viable!

Boon 3: Unchallenged Tyrant. When you perform your Obedience, designate a number of present and willing creatures equal to your Charisma modifier; these are your Thralls. This designation lasts for 24 hours or until you next perform your Obedience. 3/day, you can infuse all Thralls within 50 feet of you as a swift action, granting them a +4 bonus to their Strength and Constitution scores and a +2 bonus on initiative checks, and granting any teamwork feats you have as bonus feats *for an number of rounds equal to your hit dice. If a Thrall dies within 50 feet of you at any time, you gain the effects of Death Ward (CL = half the Thrall’s Hit Dice, to a maximum of CL 20th).

*this ability originally had no listed duration, making it quite awkward and insanely powerful. I’ve added one that makes sense.

Oh, not bad! Another reward for buffing up your Charisma! Even if it’s just to a +2 bonus! And it’s a fine one, too, letting you enchant your allies with a discounted Barbarian Rage, including a bonus to initiative checks to help them move before your enemies even know what’s happening! THREE TIMES a day!!! And--wait, wait, there’s more? You also transfer ALL your teamwork feats to your Thralls? Teamwork feats are pretty powerful but wholly rely on your allies being willing to give up their own feat slots for them, and they utterly fail to work if you aren’t working together or become separated by enemy shenanigans. This ability (along with the Inquisitor’s Solo Tactics) turns those empty feat slots into something truly game-changing due to applying them to all of your Thralls at once. This means that, even if you don’t or cannot join in the fight, they can still use teamwork with each other, and all you need is one of them to be nearby to make use of feats like Lookout (if one of you can act during the surprise round, all of you can), Precise Strikes (+1d6 damage if you’re flanking an enemy)... or, perhaps the most useful of them, Coordinated Charge, allowing you and your allies to all charge the same target.

It doesn’t take a genius to see why Coordinated Charge is one of the best you can use with this ability, as the +Strength and Con bonus means you can turn even the weakest member of the party into another source of damage however small. It also means all of your melee battlers can get into the fray immediately, and if used in combination with Lookout, it can turn an enemy ambush into a pile of severed limbs and broken armor before they even realize what they’re up against.

I also like that if any of your Thralls die, you get a free Death Ward. If you know you’re going up against a necromancer or an Undead with Energy Drain, making an incredibly weak but tasty-looking creature one of your Thralls and sending them in to die is one less spell slot your Divine caster needs to use on you. I’m amused by the idea of blessing one member of your Sack Of Rats and just crushing it in your hand if you ever need a ward. If you have the Charisma for it, definitely try it out!

You can enter Monkis World here.

[cartoonfangirl1218]

Why Reggie Mantle and Alexandra Cabot should date

Now I know the comics usually like to pair Reggie with Veronica or Cheryl (yes with Cheryl. It's a rather adorably funny story called Love is Nasty and I actually really like them together most of the time as sort of an evil power couple because they bring out the worst in each other but I digress).

But now, I suggest Reggie and Alexandra now because they have so much in common.

1. They both feel second best

Reggie's main thing is because he wants to the top dog, school president, lead in plays, get the girls and of course, scheme to make the Archies, the Reggies. When the comics try to show Reggie's sympathetic side, they show how he hates that the town loves Archie's nice guy attitude so he plays up his bad boy prankster side. Why join them, when you can prank them. Meanwhile, Alexandra loves to be the star of every occasion and schemes to make Josie and the Pussycats be Alexandra's Cool Cat Band with her as the lead singer of course (despite being gone deaf). Not to mention scheme to steal Alan M. from Josie just so she can be number one. Also very very subtly implied that she does it because she's lonely. But that's very rare. Like Reggie, she prefers to hype up her rich beauty vibe to show why she's better than Josie.

2. They both love the expensive, flashy things in life Reggie's known for his awesome, speed racing cars, nice threads and flashing concert tickets and the like he can get with his money. Though sometimes he's cheap, he will use them to beat other men to get the girl. And Alexandra Cabot is just the same, only richer with mad inventions and castles and in one story, their own kingdom Cabotopia. So together, they would have such lavish dates in Reggie's Mercedes and dining on gold plates.

3. They will respect the other's nasty streak

Like I said before, the two can get into pretty nasty tricks to get what they wanted. As a result they've been cast as the town villain. While they mostly embrace the role, they're also lonely. So it would be nice for them to have someone who wouldn't judge them automatically for such bad actions. Hell, they'd probably add suggestions.

4. The egoism These two are the most self obsessed, egotistical people in the Archieuniverse. Mirrors are one their best friends. Imagine them goading each other with "The most gorgeou boyfriend in all Riverdale," "You're right, you should be the star of the Pussycats." Ugh, they wouldn't fit their heads through the door. Or more likely, they start fighting over whose richer? More beautiful? More mirror time etc.

5. Power couple Do I really need to explain this one?

More ship ideas underneath including CherylxAlexander and JasonxVeronica.

Alexander Cabot III and Cheryl Blossom: Cheryl wants to be a star. Alexander wants to manage a star. Ya see what I'm getting at here?

I mean Alexander's infamous for all the stunts he tries to get the Pussycats roped into like million dollars stadium tours across the world with high rise podiums, special effects and back up dancers that eventually the Pussycats quit because they prefer to be lowkey rockstars. Or when he tries to make them wear dresses made up of CD discs to boost sales.

Or when Archie and Valerie got married, trying to hire a reality show to boost popularity. He’s all about the flash and publicity and of course, money. He can be scheming and lowdown in his pursuit of fame, really representative of the sleazy Hollywood manager.

And Cheryl.. the MTV house  renting, temporary Sugar Girls member, burlesque dressing, reality tv show hanger on, she will do anything to get the attention on her. Even making the Cherry Blossom Festival to the Cheryl Blossom Festival. The girl's outrageous and can be as lowdown sneaky as anyone whether it comes to attracting boys or screwing with Betty and Veronica.Cheryl would have no problem fulfilling Alexander's ideas, in fact she'd encourage it. Together, I have no doubt they'd get their wish for fame and fortune.

Jason Blossom and Veronica Lodge: Even though Veronica is usually paired with Reggie or Alexander, she's rarely been paired with the the third bad boy of Riverdale. But why not once more for old times sake?

I can imagine the drama already that at first with Archie and Betty paired off with Valerie and Trey so Veronica pairs up with Alexander Cabot.

But this may not be the last affair as many might think, not only because Veronica has some amount of class and won't go for all of Alex's crazy schemes even if they will get publicity. Veronica has shown to be snobby and actually reject Alex (for laughs of course) by saying he was poorer than the Lodges. See here.

But much more likely, Cheryl, looking for a challenge, steals Alexander away from Veronica and Veronica in revenge, decides to date Cheryl's brother. Of course, this all starts as revenge and a prank which Jason plays along with because it drives his sister crazy. But slowly they become the mask as they fall in love.

In the comics, Jason has a mega crush on Betty who doesn't reciprocate because of the Archie factor and because Jason can be as mean and nasty as Reggie. Though for Betty, Jason seems willing to change into a teddy bear if he could be with her.

What I'm basically getting at is that Jason has a soft side for the girl he loves so when he falls for Veronica he falls hard, and I think Ron would appreciate this sweetness only shown to her. Plus the devotion compared to Archie's wishy washiness. Not to mention, Ron would like a man who easily fulfills his whims and has the money to match hers. Also he has Betty trunks, I bet she’d want Jason to have a whole outfit with her face on it.

Also just imagine the drama! Cheryl and Veronica as sisters in law! Alexandra and Cheryl teaming up as BFFs again!  The money, the fame, it would be ridiculously fun.

[spiritus-sonne]

"Humanimality"

July 9, 2021; Explores themes of animality & monstrosity in numerous media stories and within my own self

So I’ve been watching various shows lately, skipping between different ones or different episodes or seasons, to the whims of my mind, but they generally have some element of human animality in them, and it’s interesting to me to compare and contrast how that theme is handled in the different series and even more interesting is how I personally respond to watching them in regards to that theme. I rewatched the anime series “Claymore” since I hadn’t watched it in a long time and honestly didn’t remember much from it beyond there being women in it that could shapeshift to monstrous forms. “Claymore” handles the contrast between human and nonhuman through themes of monstrosity and heavily blurs the line that supposedly separates human from monster, including showing that some of the claymores (the half-monster women) can surpass that line into physical monstrosity beyond what others believe are their limits (to which they wouldn’t be able to retain, let alone return to, being human in mind), but they still manage to come back to their human side. Although the show doesn’t instill any ‘shifty’ feelings in me despite the large amount of nonhuman shifting it shows, my reception of it is overall positive in how they handled the themes of humanity and monstrosity, though I think it could have used a bit more emphasis on human not necessarily being an “opposite of monstrosity” kind of thing since humans can very much act monstrous to extents Earthly nonhuman animals don’t or can’t.

Then there’s the CW’s “Beauty and the Beast” series, which I vary as to how much I like how the show is handled depending on the episode and season. Part of season 3 was leaving me feeling tired and annoyed at the over-glorifying and romanticizing of the concept of “being human” and acting like there is some hard line between human and animal and if someone (such as the main character, Vincent) passes that line they are forever a monster and can’t return to ‘being human’ no matter what. By the end of the season they loosened that hard line and heavily implied that even if such a line is crossed the individual can still return to being more human rather than being “doomed to forever be a monster” (in the bad, derogatory sense). So my response to how they handled the human verses animality theme improved as the season went on. I have a special fondness for most of the first season, though, especially since Vincent’s animality was front-and-center for much of it and it was something he was much more learning to control and handle as being part of how he was and how to live with being more animalistic at times. As opposed to some parts of the series in which he tries to live as ‘human’ as he can, shifting to his animal side as little as possible, and leaving that shifting or the use of his heightened senses to basically being a tool uncommonly used to fight off some foe or to help ‘solve’ a case. I do wish the show included a stronger sense of Vincent embracing instead of rejecting or hiding his animality, and that the line between human and animal was treated as being much more blurry instead of a bold, solid line. Maybe some therians would be better at writing something like that. Heck, I’d write fanfiction like that if I was actually any good at writing fiction--which I’m totally not.

I’ve tried to get into Freeform’s “Siren” series about mermaids--I watched the first season but kind of slowly got through it and barely managed to watch through the 2nd season’s first episode. Which is unfortunate because I rather like the design of the mermaids--their physical design with fangs, claws, and gills, but also their mentality as predators and pack animals. Yet there’s just something about the characters or how the story is told or something else that just makes it difficult for me to really get into the series and enjoy it. I do kind of dislike that parts of it focus on making the merfolk more “human”, including there being one that’s basically lived decades of her life out of the water being essentially totally human and out of touch with her roots of being a mermaid. I feel like they took a great concept of merfolk that are animalistic humanoids and tried to ‘humanize’ it too much for the sake of a longer story (whereas if it was a shorter story like a single movie, maybe they could better leave the merfolk more animalistic--though hopefully not as the villains).

The anime series “Vampire Knight” is another I recently have started rewatching. Despite the number of vampires in it, the only one I really connect with is one of the main characters, Zero. The story in part deals with him coming to terms with slowly transitioning into a vampire, a more feral type than the other recurring vampire characters in the show, and there’s something about him and his story that I connect with and gets me a bit vampire-shifty. Most of the vampires in it are just “too human” feeling to me. Which is kind of funny because my own kind of vampire, blutpirs, are still overall rather human in form and mentality, though they can do minor shapeshifting (eyes, teeth, nails) and do have more cat-like mental aspects at times, but I think it comes down to me personally experiencing being a blutpir, non-physically, through times in which I feel not “just human”--the shiftyness is an important aspect of how I experience my vampire ‘type.

When it comes to the game "Prototype" I love that it allows the player to be a humanoid monster that can fight and consume others. It blurs the line between human and monster and is morally grey about the main character's position as a monster that needs to consume others (be the prey human or monster, civilian or military--it's kind of left to the player as to who or what to consume) in order to survive and heal, and even potentially be a hero of sorts. I enjoy being able to play as an animalistic, monstrous predator and maybe I'll go back to replaying it sometime as it's been a long time since I've played it. But I do have a strong fondness of the protagonist that goes into teratophilia.

Another TV show, MTV's "Teen Wolf", can make me feel kind of shifty, as well. I do like that, at least in the seasons I watched, there was a lot of embracing of the characters' nonhumanity, that being nonhuman or partially human didn't automatically mean "bad" or "evil", with the villains being human or nonhuman but it really came down to the individual's personality instead of their species. And I rather like that approach but it's uncommon for me to come across.

Lastly, a somewhat odd one is the 2000 Syfy series "Invisible Man" which can get me a little shifty at times. I said odd because it may seem a story about an invisible man wouldn't deal much with themes of animality and monstrosity but it really depends on the angle in which it's approached (I've seen and heard of other invisible man stories exploring monstrous themes, though, but this one in particular really stands out to me). The protagonist is fully human but due to certain factors, he has times of basically ferality and a predatory mindset that I kind of relate to with my vampire 'type, possibly more so because ultimately my own animality isn't something that's physical, it's a mental and behavioral thing despite me of course being fully physically human. I also like that the transition in mentality is preceded by severe pain, which kind of feels like a parallel with the pain of physical transformation that many shapeshifters are depicted going through.

I do have a soft spot for numerous stories that involve a person just coming into a new power or aspect of themselves that is animalistic in some form and them learning to control and/or embrace it. It's just something that I tend to connect with and enjoy both from a monstrous and animalistic otherkin/therian perspective and from a monster-hearted perspective. These stories leave me kind of empathizing with the character, feeling myself in their place and connecting with their struggle to balance human and nonhuman in their life and selves. But when/if the story turns toward fully rejecting that animality or being “saved” by becoming fully human, then my interest vastly wanes and the connection is lost. I’m so tired of stories about how being human is “the best thing ever” and is infinitely better than being nonhuman, especially animalistic, despite the fact that humans ourselves are animals and animalistic. It’s a stupid dichotomy that I’m bored and annoyed at hearing throughout my life.

My mind scrapes around various media--pictures, TV shows, movies, books, etc.--to find stories and characters that don’t give into that tiring theme of “humans are best”, media that I can relate to more in the fact I’m nonhuman and human--blended and fluid, animal and monstrous--because it’s just such a rarity, such a gem, to find those little scraps of this stuff, and unfortunately it sometimes ends up being in the form of a villainous or antagonistic character. I’ve sought out this media since my early childhood, though I’ve tended toward hiding away that kind of thing from others, privately enjoying it because of fear for how others may react to me finding such satiation in the monstrous and the nonhuman humanoids rather than in the ‘glorious solely human’ stuff. I still hide it most of the time from my partner, not really anymore for fear of what they may think but rather out of habit and because privately partaking in it is more comfortable for me, especially if it does get me feeling shifty, and I’m overall okay with that.

I also relate to these fictional 'monsters' in that I feel like I live a "split" life between human and nonhuman, that my nonhumanity is something that remains hidden from most people--albeit, because it has to in that it is so highly non-physical, just mildly behavioral, that others can't be aware of it, rather than it being a physical thing. But there's still that empathy I feel of "I'm hiding my animality and monstrosity from other people for fear of consequences and them not understanding". I feel a deep sense of familiarity and sameness with these animalistic or monstrous humanoid beings. And that's where my monster-heartedness and otherkinity really meet. I know that unfortunately I'm limited my whole life to these nonhuman aspects being so strictly internal and subjective, even though I came to terms about that a long time ago and generally don't have species dysphoria, there's still part of me that wishes I could live this, or part of it, physically and to be loved and cared for by someone else (be they fully human or not) despite this or maybe in part *because* of my nonhumanity. To be loved so much even though the other person can clearly see my monstrosity and animality--that would speak volumes to me.