#and shes frustrated by it!!!!!
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[a YouTube video of The I Love You Song from The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee performed in ASL]
having VERY strong feelings about this specific performance.
#musings#ITS SO.#god. this performance hit me so much harder than other ones ive seen....#olive closing her eyes near the end during the “i love you”s when everything is signed to block it out. oughhh#also this olive has sooo much emotion especially when spelling chimerical !! she knows it something she'll never have#and shes frustrated by it!!!!!#AND OLIVE LAYING HER HEAD DOWN.
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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I feel as if this is her attitude for practically the whole first act
#possibly the most insufferable group of strangers to get stuck with when you have a parasite in your head#she is allowed to be stressed out and frustrated about it#honestly given the high stakes of the situation she is remarkably patient#have I said how much I adore lae’zel#baldur's gate 3#bg3#lae'zel#lae’zel#my posts
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i think marinette is worse at resting when she's sick but adrien is worse at sitting things out if he's injured. i have no explanation, these are just the vibes
#ml#marinette dupain cheng#adrien agreste#okay i lied i do have justifications#adrien probably just. would love being taken care of if he's sick#it's maybe something his mom used to do but not ENOUGH#and marinette would absolutely spoil him#but marinette is all I AM FINE IT IS JUST A COLD I AM FINE meanwhile she nearly falls off a rooftop in a dizzy spell#but adrien hate being kept away from ppl he loves. hates not being able to protect them. and an injury is more long-term and isolating#meanwhile...idk marinette feels to me like an injurt would leave her more defeated. she'd feel like she failed somehow#like she is SUPPOSED to be ladybug she is SUPPOSED to keep herself together to keep the city safe#so i think that would take a lot of her energy she'd be frustrated about it yes but also sort of...admit defeat#adrien would find ways to cheer her up though 🥺
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I just love how Katniss and Peeta’s “someone who match my freak” moment was the whole who can piss off more the Gamemakers in CF. Like Katniss knew damn well Peeta did something rebellious during his session, and was like “oh bet? Okay watch this” and proceeded to do that by hanging a doll with “Seneca Crane” written on it.
And when Peeta and Katniss found out what the other did, they couldn’t have been more proud and secretly happy about it. All while those around them was like “uhmm wtf .Just why?” And one of the best parts is afterwards, Katniss and Peeta proceeded to hug each other lovely and sleep together. Like okay purrr? This is y’all freaks?? Pissing off brutal, authoritarian-totalitarian regimes, right in front of their faces. Ight.
#they smiled at each other and everything#while everyone around them was so upset and frustrated about what they just did#but Katniss and Peeta were omg she/he is so amazing#I’m even more in love#matching each others freak is just being who’s more rebellious#for these two#everlark#peeta mellark#katniss everdeen#thg#katniss and peeta#the hunger games#catching fire#and of course they have other bunch of “match my freak moments
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The farmer I buy hay (and some firewood) from hasn't had time for deliveries yet, and he texted me yesterday to ask what I needed most urgently, hay or wood. Selflessly, I said hay.
That /is/ the gate for hay deliveries! Great memory, Pirlouit. I see what are the important spots in your mental map.
I hope you realise that I'm sacrificing myself for you. By telling our neighbour to prioritise your food over my comfort.
But even if I didn't, I would prioritise you and your hay because I love you. I would freeze to death to ensure you are fed
Would you share your hay with me, though?
I see.
#crawling along#i think of gollum's ''what has it got in its pocketses?'' every time pirlouit tries to raid my pockets with mounting frustration#your big nose doesn't fit in my coat pockets!! stop trying#and you don't even like mints#i tried to give him one once for a taste and it was too minty for him and he spent 30s panting with his mouth wide open#like my baby cousin when she stayed over and forgot her kid toothpaste and had to use my grown-up one#same look of betrayal
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a Gemtaur thing I didn't like from many months ago
#was very unsure about it so I didnt do anything more with it#I wanted the hops to look more deer-like but at the same time them looking heavier makes sense given the size of this gal#and then she does little tippy tap hooves at the end but it doesnt look good at all and I got frustrated at trying to correct it lol#in any case good practise though! Uh I love animation but I never fucking do it grrrrrrrr#geminitay#tubby art
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people be wondering why there's no appearance from hades in any of the sagas, especially the underworld saga (even if he wasn't in the odyssey itself) i have a theory!
spoilers for vengeance saga and future ithaca saga!
do you not understand how busy that poor guy/god is during odysseus' terrible, horrible, no good, bad journey home���
first he has 7 freshly made pancakes men (14 if you count the club smash noises in survive, but we'll go with 7 for this) sent by chef polyphemus, appearing one after the other.
not long after that, you have 550 very soaked (drowned) men pop through in the blink of an eye, no thanks to his younger brother, mr ruthlessness himself, poseidon.
then while he's still counting/organising the paperwork for them, a young man appears, who happens to be very drunk (talking about pig men?)
not long after that, somehow a warship filled with mortal men breaks into the underworld, ALL ALIVE, and the (king? leader? captain? he's not too sure at this point) starts singing outside his front door about becoming a monster????? but before he can sic cerberus on them, they leave on their own
finally he thinks he has a break when 6 men holding torches (are some missing limbs?!?) have now joined the party down under (granted they're all in no mood to party, they weren't expecting to become snacks for a sea monster)
and just as quick as they'd arrived, in a flash (just like the snap of lightning that took them out) 36 crispy/fried men (gods damn it zeus) appear, weapons drawn like they were about to attack someone (how does that one guy at the front swing such a big sword?)
at this point hades is wondering what the fuck is happening upstairs, because ain't no way these 600 men are all from the same fleet/island under one guy's command (turns out the captain's name is odysseus)
he thinks his prayers are answered because he has had peace for 7 years, just the normal flow of souls into the underworld- (wait whats that chanting)
suddenly those previous 600 souls are flying their way outta the underworld (he didn't know they could do that) while singing "six hundred men! (six hundred)" on repeat
they return though (thank the gods, he didn't need to go soul hunting) and once again he thinks everything will be calm
(he also found out from zeus, that their brother got his godly-ass handed to him by that MORTAL odysseus! WHO USED HIS OWN WEAPON AGAINST HIM (something to help make him laugh over spring & summer and while he waits for his beautiful persephone to return home))
he finally thinks his time with odysseus and the souls that come from him/being around him is over. when in minutes of each other, the souls of 108 men appear, all killed in gruesome ways. then they tell him that they were killed by beggar who then revealed himself as king odysseus, from trying to marry his wife and take over his kingdom (ok very understandable murder then)
at this point hades doesn't know whether he's excited for, or dreading the day he actually meets odysseus in the distant future (yes distant, i don't care about/ don't accept the telegony. let the poor man enjoy the rest of his life with his son and wife!!!)
but yeah, understandable why you don't hear from him throughout the sagas
#hades: i'm hard working & organised#hades: i love and spoil my wife for the six months she's here and then love and miss her dearly for the six she's not#hades: so WHY am i being punished with all this extra work because of ONE MORTAL#hades: *looking at all the souls that keep appearing*#hades: CAN YOU ALL STOP MOVING AROUND?! ITS SO FRUSTRATING WHILE IM TRYING TO COUNT!!#can gods get grey hair? because i feel like this has caused hades some#epic the musical#epic the vengeance saga#hades#hades epic#? i guess#odysseus epic#epic the musical spoilers#epic the vengeance saga spoilers#epic ithaca saga#epic ithaca saga spoilers#can you spoil something when your pulling/using the info from an ancient poem?#*shrugs*
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it’s always “let aang swear” or “let zuko swear” but y’all are missing out on the comedic potential of katara being the one who has the dirtiest mouth. she swears like a sailor but is just better at hiding it than everyone else because she doesn't want to influence aang or toph, and tries to keep up pretenses of being proper.
after all the time they spent fighting each other as enemies and sparring as friends, zuko’s the only one that knows this about her but no one believes him.
(for those who question where katara could possibly learn to curse, i ask - have you ever assisted women through childbirth in a world where epidurals don't exist? katara has. like c'mon. she knows all the swear words).
#katara#zuko#zutara#platonic or romantic take your pick#atla#my post#zuko tries to trap her in situations where she’ll get frustrated and shout a swear word in front of everyone else but it never works#suki's the next person to find out but she keeps the bit going and refuses to tell zuko that he's right#when toph finds out she's delighted and announces her discovery to the whole group. zuko is finally vindicated
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Mystra: I've been watching your journey here. Your triumphs. Your temptations. Your doubts.
#bg3edit#baldur's gate 3#bg3#baldurs gate 3#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#mystra#gamingedit#videogameedit#ch: gale dekarios#ch: mystra#vg: baldur's gate 3#series: baldur's gate#gif: mybg3#gale finally standing up for himself is so important to me 👏👏👏#even though she tries to put him down right after this bit again#to regain control of the conversation again#but yeah#also 'containing her frustration' at him not k*lling himself i'm 🙃🙃🙃
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final frostpaw design
#edit: yes i know she has scars i just got frustrated with how they looked in relation to the other design aspects and gave up 😒#frostpaw#wc#warrior cats#warriors#lupiine art
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Quacked up
Danny never thought that Desiree was serious on her threats, or at least the threats that had to do with "turning him into a duck and abandoning him in another dimension."
But it seems that even ghost genies had their limits, because the third time he "ruined her plans," she made good on her threat. Danny wasn't worried about Amity, Team Phantom could take care of that just fine.
He was more concerned about his webbed feet and duckbill. Plus the fact that he showed up in the middle of a warehouse occupied by mobsters, although the supposed mobsters were more involved in trying to catch him (were his ears wrong or had he heard an "aww"?) than killing him. One of them even named him "Duck Hood."
Jason didn't know how to feel watching all his employees chase a duck. It was a weird duck, with glowing green eyes (was it possible for a duck to dive into the pits??), and he was sure he saw it float by at some point, but at least his "lair" was a little more lively.
He wondered if he should give it to Damian or keep it.
#dpxdc#Duck Danny#Desiree was mad at him#her obsession is to fulfill wishes#she can't stop just because he wants to#and Danny frustrated even the littlest wish#So she transformed him into a Duck and left him into the DC dimension#dp x dc#dc x dp#Hood goons just saw a duck walking into their organization and fall in love with the animal#They like Duck Hood#and want to adopt him#Danny doesn't#he want to come back to his universe#at least most of his powers work#Jason wonders if it's possible that a pit duck exists#maybe he should keep it just to be sure
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Something incredibly annoying when dealing with non-pnf stans when discussing with PnF is discussion of Candace being accidentally gaslit by her mother. In that they assume everyone is in on the fact to make Candace feel like she's crazy. NOBODY ELSE is doing that. In fact, nobody BUT Candace seems to understand the whole brunt of the situation.
The backyard gang are not "bullying" Candace or keeping her from telling her mom. In fact, they tell Linda about it themselves MULTIPLE TIMES. They talk about it off handedly a bunch of times too. Theyre just also 10, and Linda thinks it's part of the "games". She thinks theyre being imaginative. Theyre NOT. The backyard gang is NOT lying to her, and they are NOT perpetuating the assumption that Candace is crazy. Linda just doesnt believe them. The backyard gang doesn't KNOW this. THEY ALL THINK LINDA KNOWS.
LAWRENCE is not perpetuating the idea that Candace is crazy. He ALSO thinks Linda knows. HE HAS SEEN the backyard projects a bunch of times, and HE TELLS Linda about them TOO. However, and this is important, he only ever sees the cute, relaxed and sweet projects, and never the potentially dangerous or fatal ones, so he thinks Candace is being anxious and overprotective. Which she is, but that's a separate issue. LAWRENCE is not lying. HE thinks Linda knows.
JEREMY has seen the projects and parties. He talks about them at length, and how cool Phineas and Ferb are! He's never lied. He thinks Linda knows.
STACY has seen the projects and parties. She FREQUENTLY vouches for Candace. But shes Candace's best friend, so of course Linda doesnt believe her.
EVERYBODY EITHER THINKS LINDA ALREADY KNOWS, OR HAVE CLOSE ATTACHMENTS TO CANDACE SO LINDA DOESNT BELIEVE THEM ANYWAY.
Linda isnt doing it on purpose. NOBODY is lying.
DO i think Linda should believe her daughter now and then? And should Lawrence stick up for her more? Of course I do. But it's not malicious. Just....a bit neglectful. But Candace's assumption that everyone is against her is largely perpetuated in her own head and anxieties and miseries. She ISN'T alone. People ARE on her side, and she has more allies than she thinks. There are MULTIPLE episodes where Phineas and Ferb try to bust THEMSELVES (AKA attempt to show Linda their project with her own eyes) when she simply asks them to. A lot of people think she's really cool, and caring, and her brothers think shes unironically, absolutely AWESOME. Which has been the point of many episodes, AS WELL AS Candace against the Universe.
#all the memes about ah how the turn tablea#when someone has a story for Candace that Candace doesnt believe so its frustrating and all#is funny#but it ticks me off the wrong way#yeah Candace is being gaslit Cassandra of Troy style#but nobody's doing it to bully her or make her feel crazy or small#at least not on purpose#her vendetta against the Strange Universal Force seems silly in universe canon#but shes RIGHT#and the audience knows it#because the force has another name. called a plot point#it HAS to happen#Candace is doomed by the narrative#Candace Flynn#Candace Flynn Fletcher
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Guildford, you don't need a cure. You cannot change what you are, and you shouldn't have to. Not for your father, not for me, not for anyone.
#my lady jane#myladyjaneedit#jane x guildford#janefordarchive#myladyjanecentral#lady jane grey#guildford dudley#perioddramaedit#mine*#and heal him she did!#in their own special way#the romance of it all#jane being all 'i really hate not knowing things' being frustrated bc she couldnt figure out a cure#when it was like. right in front of her the whole time#they both just needed to wait until the right moment to accept it and hear it
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The Quest Continues...
(part 1- part 2)
#Fourfold Soul#<- That's the title of the project I've been working on!#I am very excited to finally show off the cowboy (gender redacted) I've been cooking in a slow boil!!! Yeehaw!#Yes this is the game project. YES I am commited to the bit of having the main character go through a long running pronoun-quest.#This character does not have a name so I cannot formally tag them...#(Okay. Technically they have an internal name for coding/scripting reasons...and I have a nickname for them.#But the important part of making a video game character you get to eventually name is that the name must come from *you*!)#The girl here is a npc so she has a temporary name. So I also cannot tag her. Hmm...#I have several FFS comics thumbnailed out. This one got made first because it's the funniest without context. Lore wise it's weak.#I would love to post the sexy clown but you have to wait just a few more comics.#Fun artist woes moment to share: This is the first time I've had to colour these characters traditionally. *That* was NOT fun.#Going from a specific digital colour palette to being at the whims of my limited colour choices in markers? Hell! On! Earth!#I might also be extra frustrated because this sure is 3x the length of what I usually do for comics! I spent a Whole Day on this.#Past me thought it was soooo funny and needed all the extra panels for pacing. I hate past me. That guy needs to be exploded.
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Happy post-Halloween :)!!! They’re making jack-o-lanterns <3
#wof#starflight#clay#sunny#tsunami#glory#or maybe now they’re just discarding them#either way I’ve imagined Tsunami has always had a hard time with any carving & intricate detail work - it never turns out how she wants it#to and just gets frustrated - so she has fun just beating the shit outta a pumpkin every year#Sunny is p good with carving small details & carving in general but doesnt find it Fun & has always liked the look of Tsunami’s chewed up#pumpkins so now the two just beat up their pumpkins Together <3#the other three are supportive in their own ways about it#BUT YAAAY HAPPY LATE HALLOWEEN EVERYPONY#one day ill finished some wof art head in hands . that comic about clay & kestrel will get finished one day#art#tideart
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