#and she's never been heartless but when we first met her she was so used to surviving on her own

[crowtits]

well we've gotten to Parker's I WANT TO DO THE RIGHT THING in The Long Way Down Job

[mochinek0]

Looking Back (Part 1)

Adrien couldn't help but look at Marinette across the room. The only thing that bothered him so much was that she was there with her husband, Damian Wayne. He saw the smile he missed; saw her laughing with friends. He could see how close she was to him, every time she turned and looked at him to continue the story.

"How did you meet your husband, Marinette?"

"Yeah he doesn't look familiar."

"Did he go to school with us; I feel like I would have remembered him."

"Uncle Jagged took me on tour when I graduated, half way through the year, and I met Damian during one of the stops." Marinette answered.

Adrien looked away and noticed his friends were uncomfortable. Some people, those closest to Mari, stopped listening to Lila. Kitty Section had launched to stardom with their amazing clothes, lyrics and Jagged Stones backing. The others…..'Did I do the right thing?' was running across their minds.

"Hey, let's get out of here for a bit." Kim spoke, "I need a drink.

"Alya nodded, "It's….unnerving, right now."

"I don't know." Nino declared.

"It'll only be for an hour." Kim sighed, "There's a place to drink a block away. We can walk over and back."

"We can take my car." Adrien smiled, "I'll probably only have one drink."

Outnumbered, Nino groaned, "I'll drive us back."

After a quick round up, they left to a near by bar.

"This isn't how I expected this reunion to go!" Alya whined, "I thought Marinette would be miserable and we would be telling her, 'You should have be nicer to Lila'. Why is her life; her friends' life, better than ours?"

"Odine broke up with me two months after she found out that I had pulled a prank on Marinette when we were twelve." Kim sighed, "She never got over it. She said I was heartless and a monster to do that to a girl. She said she would be terrified of having daughters with me. I wasn't even thinking that far ahead."

"Looks like you are now." Nathaniel stated.

"I- She was the first girl to confess to me and our dates weren't horrible!" Kim retorted.

Alix chuckled, "Thought that was Marinette."

The former swimmer growled, "Shut up! It's not my fault that girls only want some slim-fit guy!"

"Mylene and Ivan are married." Nino pointed out, "Neither of them are 'slim-fit'."

"That's right!" Alya shouted, "You're blaming us, but guys only want model types. Where's the love for curvy girls, huh? Show me thicc love, dammit!"

"I don't know." Kim spoke, "Where did it go, Nino?"

The DJ rolled his eyes, "It was a mutual break up. We had conflicting schedules and barely had time to talk to each other. It was a ten minute talk at most and then class or sleep. Even now, most dates I've had have been coffee because I'm tired after a gig."

Nino realized his best friend had been quiet so far. He was sure he would have defended himself when his long-time ex brought up models. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted five shot glasses.

"Hey, Dude, are you okay?" Nino questioned, "You ususally don't drink this much."

Adrien turned to Nino and pouted, "I should have married Marinette."

The model didn't expect the table to erupt in laughter.

"Nice one, Dude." Nino smiled, "I understand you want to be included."

"I'm serious!" Adrien whined.

"Dude, if you really feel that way, you only have yourself to blame." his best friend stated.

"Huh?" Adrien replied, confused.

"You were the blindest idiot, as a teen." Alix cackled.

Alya rolled her eyes, "Mari was head over heels for you. It's why she bullied Lila, duh."

Adrien tried to shake off the alcohol, "Bullied Lila?"

Alya took another sip, "You know because you and Lila were dating."

"I would never date that Bitch!" the model shouted.

Everyone froze and looked at him.

"What?" Kim questioned.

"I never dated Lila." the Agreste heir snarled, "I would have never-She's not my type. Fuck, I would never date a model, period. I have always hated modeling; both Chloe and Mari knew that. I did it to get my father's attention."

Everyone looked at each other as the web of lies began to untangle in front of them. After all these years, the thread had begun to snap.

"You all thought Mari was bullying Lila because she liked me?" Adrien continued to rant, "You forget she helped me get with Kagami. Kagami even told me she tried to get us back together. Hell, 'Gami had a crush on her, but ended up with Felix instead. She still says that if Mari suddenly wanted to get together, she'd drop Felix."

No one knew what to say. Everything they thought they knew, that kept them as friends was slowly coming undone. They had been 'Team Lila' for the longest time and now….what were they? Adrien never dated Lila. Adrien said he would never date her. He believed Marinette wouldn’t bully Lila simply because Lila had feelings for him because Marinette helped him get a girlfriend. If that was all true, why did Lila say they dated? Why did she say Marinette bullied her? As if a distant echo, they recalled Marinette calling their friend a liar. Had Lila really lied to them all this time?

Kim let out a loud belch, "Like we believe that." his speech slurring.

"You're saying I'm lying?" Adrien questioned.

Mr. 'Just A Friend' had feelings for her?" Kim answered, "Yeah, right."

"Mr. what?" Adrien asked.

"It's your catchphrase." the former swimmer laughed, "I'm sure you all remember. 'Who, Marinette? No! She's just a friend. She's a good friend. She's a great friend. You'll like her once you get to know her and be friends with her. She's an amazing friend'."

Alix yawned, getting bored of the dying party, "You had 'FRIENDZONE' tattooed on your forehead."

Alya relaxed. She had been so close to believeing that she had betrayed the wrong person, but Adrien having feelings for Marinette was laughable at this point.

"Marinette obviously got tired of hearing how much of a 'friend' she was to you." Alya declared, "The shit I had to listen to when we were friends! How 'dreamy' you looked. The names of you imaginary kids! You two gettign a hamster."

"She found someone better." Alix shrugged, "He's taller and looks strong as hell. The only things you share in common are green eyes and wealthy families."

"Gold digging, Bitch." Alya snarled.

"I thought that, too." Alix admitted, "From what Juleka tells me, Marinette makes more than Adrien alone on her fashion commissions. That's without using her muscle hubby or his family name. Rose said that not even Luka compares. Kitty Section went with them to the Caribbean and …muscles and scars. Said Mari couldn't keep her eyes of him and they barely saw her after that."

"Demon God." muttered Nathaniel.

"Demon God?" questioned Nino.

"His brothers call him 'Demon Spawn', but he's chiseled like the sexy Lucifer marble statues that the church said no to." Nathaniel groaned, "I should have taken my chance, too."

Nino glanced at Adrien and saw him tearing up.

'Shit.'

"Okay, I think we get the idea." the DJ stated, trying to change the subject.

"Alya's right. We tried to get them together so many times, but he always thought they were 'friendly outings' even though eveyone had a date." Kim continued.

Nathaniel took another shot, "Imagine getting kissed by the most popular girl at school and thinking she was 'just being nice'."

"Lila?" Alya replied, "I thought-"

"Lila was popular in class, only." Nathaniel answered, "Marinette was popular all over school. The true 'Queen' of the school."

Adrien quickly stood up, scraping his chair against the floor, and rushed out. Nino quickly rushed out after him.

"What's his problem?" Kim asked.

Alya's eyes trailed after Nino's back before she took another drink and turned back to the group.

Nino quickly spotted Adrien's car. He slowly approached it and found him sobbing in the passenger's seat.

'At least he didn't think he could drive.'

Nino walked around and sat in the driver's side. He simply patted his friend's back.

"Did-Is what Kim said true?" Adrien asked.

Nino unintentionally paused his hand's movements, trying to decide what would be best.

"Nino!" Adrien shouted, "You're my best friend! Is what-"

"Yes." he answered.

He could feel the weight of Adrien's gaze on him.

"We did try setting you up with Marinette." Nino spoke, calmly, "Everyone in the school could see she liked you. I don’t know when she stopped; we truly believed that she was mean to Lila because Lila was with you."

"Not in a million years." Adrien replied.

"You sure?" Nino asked, looking at his friend.

"Not even if it brought my mother back." Adrien growled, "I can't stand her."

Nino started the car as Adrien sunk into his seat. They drove in silence, but he faintly heard the model's sniffles. He knew Adrien might not possibly remember the night and he didn't want to say anything that was too damaging. It was a conversation for another time…if there ever was.

Adrien thanked Nino as they got out of the car and he took the keys form him, "She looked happy tonight, didn't she? Her smiles were always the brightest."

Nino watched as tears fell down his friend's cheeks. Adrien quickly turned and went inside. Nino sighed and took out his phone.

"Yo, Max. I need a ride." he spoke, "Got a minute to spare?"

[abilouwrites]

I KNOW YOURE WORN AND EXHAUSTED

THIS IS ALL, THIS IS LOST ON YOU

(Aged up!!) I’ve been cooking this up for so looonngg

I love my life, I have a husband who loves me, a toddler who seems to be developing faster than might be good for her and a job that keeps me on my toes and pays me well. But it’s a job that keeps me away, a job I wasn’t willing to give up when I got pregnant. Katsuki had the option, paid maternity leave for a whole two years.

A thing I encouraged him to take, and though I believed he wished I was the one to stay and become a house wife but my career as a neurosurgeon doesn’t wait. There is no waiting while my tools are in the brain of another living breathing human.

“I just don’t understand why you can’t take more time at home? Is that too hard to ask?” He questions, it’s two in the morning. A reckless drive home under my exhausted worn eyes, “I come home when I need to. Why is it so hard for you”

“Because I’m saving the lives of people! People you can’t protect. Y’know today. I saved the life of a five year old girl who was going blind because of a tumor pressed against her optic nerve. That’s what I did today” I toss my purse onto the table and slip off my shoes.

“Suki took her first steps today. You wanna know what you missed? You missed our baby walking. That’s what you missed today.” He announces, “you don’t know how to quit. You can’t give in. You’re so obsessed with being the best you’ve given up everything that should be important to you”

His remark makes me laugh, “you realize that’s who you were when we first met. You were so power hungry for number one you pushed me aside. You forgot my birthday. Twice because you were so driven for that spot” I chastise, pushing my arms out of my jacket and dumping it on the couch.

His expression softens before he murmurs, “I will never understand you” so quiet I can barely hear it, so soft I only see his lips part slightly. But I know the words. I’ve heard them so often in my life I’ve grown accustomed to it.

It hurts my heart, but I feel the same as I did in my anatomy classes. Alone with a scalpel. Slowly opening a chest. I feel so alone, the one person I felt like I should’ve been able to talk to. Doesn’t understand what I do.

He doesn’t utter me a quick and heartless apology as he usually does when I go to bed. The bed is cold when I’m out of the shower, no body. No soul stuffed into our king sized bed.

I wear my own baggy shirts to bed, not my husbands, not anymore. He doesn’t even feel like my husband anymore. All I want is to talk about my day with him and have him understand that I love my job and my family and that I want to do both. All I’ve desired at the end of the day is to curl into bed with him, wrap my arms around him and kiss him and tell him that I saved a life today. To have him praise and appreciate me. There is no more of the sweetful bliss we used to share.

“Are you going to bed?” He asks, pulling the tucked covers and slowly sliding in.

I hum a little, staring at his back. Littered with scars and divots where skin was ripped and stitched back together. I want to talk to him, talk about everything, “did Suki go down well?” I ask as he rolls over to face me.

“Yeah. She misses you” he’s sorrowful and a little mournful when he confesses, “I miss you. I miss us”

Guilt doesn’t subside as his hands reach for my hips, a habit we’ve never broken. Throughout our fights and bickers we end our nights in a sweet embrace.

I want to apologize, but I can’t. I cant bring myself to apologize for something I love, “let’s just sleep” I can’t bring myself to face the situation I think I’ve caused myself. I close my eyes and I wonder if maybe I could’ve been happy being a housewife. If in maybe another life I wouldn’t stay in this marriage that sucks the life out of me.

“Oh. Ok, goodnight, I love you”

“I know”

[am-i-interrupting]

Hello! I really love your work, I just HAD to pop in your inbox after seeing your fics about Alastor's daughter.

What if Alastor's daughter is an angel that is scared of demons.

Like, when they were alive, Alastor's daughter used to be such a sweet child and I mean SWEET. Would never hurt a soul. Though she got killed at a young age because of envious children her age, left her in the forest to scare her but she got mauled by wolves and died.

Before she died, she was aware of Alastor's killings but she wouldn't speak up because she was too scared. IMAGINE ALASTOR BEING SUCH A LOVING DAD BUT ALL SHE CAN THINK ABOUT IS WHAT IF SHES NEXT IF SHE FUCKS UP AROUND HIM.

And he's not aware that she thinks that way. So when Sera sent her to investigate the Hazbin Hotel (to see if Charlie's theory is really true) she sees Alastor and gets tense even though he's so sincere around her.

How would everything gooo omg I'd like to see how creative you'll get!!

.

You never hurt a soul and that’s what helped you get into heaven.

You loved your father. You did but you were also terrified of him.

He was a serial killer, a murderer, and even if he tucked you into bed at night and made the best food, you could still be next.

You felt guilty the day he died because while you were heartbroken you were also so relieved.

You confessed to the police his sins as soon as they came to the house to break the news of his death.

You were crying, choking on tears as you told them everything.

It was the best and worst day of your life.

Despite that, life remained difficult for you.

People were cruel and mean and heartless and you died before the age of twenty.

You made it to Heaven.

You were a top winner, one revered for their kindness.

That’s how you got asked by Sera to go to Hell to observe Charlie’s idea first hand. Her being too untrusting of the angels to not start killing and “sanitizing” Hell as soon as they got there.

You were excited. You met Charlie while she was in Heaven.

She was somewhat of a kindred spirit. You got on with her well.

(Alastor actually does reminisce over you and his mother both in Hell. The lyric “You’re like a child that I wish that I had” in Hells Greatest Dad would have been changed to “You’re like the child which I used to have.”)

You went through the portal with her and Vaggie.

Both girls seemed conflicted, something must have happened during the meeting they had with the angels but Charlie quickly put on a smile and started explaining what everything was.

When you get to the Hotel, you seem him. You never thought you’d see your father again. You weren’t sure you wanted to even if you missed him. You immediately froze.

His brows furrowed as he looked at you before his smile widened, sharp teeth replacing the human ones you once knew but they were still coffee-stained.

“Is that my darling angel?” he asked as he walked towards you. “My dear, look how you’ve grown.”

He used the tips of his fingers to angle your face towards him and you couldn’t pull away. You were frozen in place, looking at him with wide eyes.

“You two know each other?” Charlie asked.

“Why yes, we do indeed,” Alastor said. “You recall I mentioned having a child.”

“Oh my god! Oops, sorry. Don’t use the lord’s name in vain and all. But this is so great!”

“Yeah,” you said meekly. “So great.”

Alastor would notice something wrong. He remembers your behaviors well. He’d try to make you comfortable while unknowingly pressing your buttons more.

Everyone else also notices something wrong, except Niffty.

Sir Pentious and Charlie likely think you’re just anxious and try to make you feel as comfortable and welcomed as possible.

Vaggie assumes it’s because you’re in Hell.

Husk and Angel realize it’s because Alastor’s there.

The two team up to make sure you’re never ever left completely alone.

They even manage to pull you away for a bit.

Husk offers some good advice and true silence not filled with the background of a radio crackling.

Angel let’s you bury your head in his fluff.

[closetsof-backlogged-dreams]

HI QUEEN!!!! thoughts on the vision morgause showed to arthur and her motivations/was she lying/ should Arthur have killed uther?

AHHHHHH IVE BEEN WANTED TO BE ASKED THIS AND I DIDNT EVEN KNOW IT

alright so i think the first thing that needs to be considered is what her intentions were when she showed him the vision. i think the main consensus is that she wanted Arthur to kill Uther, and while i agree, i think Morgause deserves a few more layers than that. i genuinely think Morgause wanted the truth to be known.

imo, from what we've seen, Morgause is extremely similar to Morgana. in the early seasons, Morgana is justice with kindness. Morgause is justice without. Later, we watch Morgause slowly "corrupt" Morgana and watch her lose her kindness, turning her into the heartless villain she is by season five.

i think Morgause, while not out of the deep goodness of her heart, saw the injustice, and wanted it to be corrected. this manifested mostly in the form of Uther's death, but i do believe a small part of her just wanted the truth to be known :)

whether or not she was lying is something we will never truly know, but she could have been lying about two different things, and i want to attack them separately.

i 100% believe she wasn't lying about Uther using magic for Arthur's birth. i've wondered A LOT how the fuck she knew though, because sorry, who told her?? and merlin is the show it is, so it doesn't tell you these things, but there are enough breadcrumbs left behind so that we can assume she was a pupil of Nimueh's and learned of it from her.

but whether it was actually a vision of Ygraine? i really don't know. i'm not going to lie, the first time i saw the scene, it gave me all the wrong vibes. the ghost of Ygraine is able to meet her son for >5 minutes and one of the maybe two things she says to him is about how Uther used magic to birth Arthur and it killed her?? i don't know. it's strange.

but we also have to remember that we actually don't know anything about Ygraine! honestly, the fandom and fics tend to mention her x10 more than the actual show does. Arthur hardly speaks of her, as well as Uther, and we have to remember that this is the man who essentially killed his wife and is forced to live with that every goddamn day and is 100% romanticizing the woman she was—and then all Arthur has ever heard of her is this romanticized version from his father, and this is the dead mother he's never met. he's going to do some embellishing of her own.

so, for all we know, Ygraine was a terrible person. we really don't know. so i have no conclusive answer to whether or not Morgause was lying about it being a vision, and i think the show actually intended it that way. because that doesn't actually matter. what Ygraine said—that's the truth. the cold, honest truth. whether it actually came from his mother or from a false mimicry of her doesn't actually matter.

another thing i find really interesting is that while Morgause was obviously trying to provoke Arthur with this information and was clearly manipulating him, she really didn't take any extreme steps to ensure he killed Uther. this was also her first step to bring down Uther. it's almost like she tried to find the most moral option she could that dealt the fairest form of justice, and only when it failed was she forced to resort to more gruesome, hands-on approaches.

it also really doesn't seem like she has anything against Arthur in the beginning, which is so fascinating to me, but moving on lol.

now for the BIG one:

should Arthur have killed Uther in The Sins of the Father?

god, this one is hard, because you have to consider it from all angles.

from an objective, justice-based standpoint, you could say that Morgause was absolutely in the right in all of this, and that after learning this information, it was Arthur's duty to kill his father. his father killed his own wife due to his desperation for an heir, and then spent half a lifetime destroying an entire culture and group of people in an attempt to stem his guilt.

so, yes. Arthur should have killed his father, if we're viewing this from the eyes of pure justice.

but for Arthur's own conscious? from a political standpoint? absolutely the fuck not. it would have destroyed Arthur. even when Uther died season four, he was a wreck, so imagine if it has been Arthur. dear god.

and then imagine being an average citizen of Camelot, for whom Uther was probably an alright to not great king, but no one who deserves death, and learning that your beloved Prince Arthur committed patricide and his now king? jesus. that's not how you establish good subject-monarch relations.

and if enemy kingdoms heard about it? god, all the knights must be horribly divided, because most of them swore themselves to Camelot and its royalty, but who the hell do you stand with when your two royals tried to kill each other and one of them was successful? enemy kingdoms would attack, and with their armies as divided as they'd be, who knows how that'd go.

so overall, no. i genuinely believe Arthur shouldn't have killed his father. but that doesn't mean that Uther didn't deserve death.

anyways, i think that's all! this was a lot of fun, and tysm for the ask once again <3

[axailslink]

Furs

Shuri Udaku x Jabari tribe FEM reader

Warning: Vulgur language, fingering, and a bit of original character personality from the first movie.

A/n: You all can thank my geeky side for this fic I found the second pic and just made some shit up.

Summary: Truthfully not really story based I just needed a reason to practice writing smut on my own accord.

Snippet from the fic: “ "Speak. Up." Shuri fidgets reaching for your hand but you glare at her daring her to touch and see what happens. "Please touch me" you hum in satisfaction but you wonder just how much more you can make her say ”

Your eyes are on Shuri the whole time she speaks with M'Baku she's a beautiful woman one who when you first met was full of vengeance and truth be told she definitely had your attention then so much that your waking nights were just thoughts of her and what you'd allow her to do to you. Truthfully it's a little sad how a woman you've only seen every so often can just run free in your mind like this without a key, card or permission. You're so in your mind that you don't notice M'baku giving you your orders "Y/n I hope your ears are working fine" you nod "yes they are" he bites on his carrot of course to drag this embarrassment out but you truly don't mind he gets a light laugh out of it and honestly the man needs one after putting up with Shuri's always serious attitude. "Then why are you not following her?" You quickly catch up to an already disappearing Shuri who seems to be walking rather fast when you're used to a normal paced stride. "Prince-" she doesn't even let you finish because of how wrong you are "queen" you do love a woman that'll correct you but good Hanuman she's a bit much. You take the safest bet and call her "panther if you do not mind my question I have to ask what is my assignment?" She stops walking and stares at you in the dark hall "are you all just this incompetent and forgettable?" You can't help but take this to heart because who in the hell does she think she's talking to? Definitely not you. Surely not. You bite your tongue "no I'm a bit out of my head my apologies" Shuri seems surprised seeing that you don't argue with her even though what she said was a bit much and bitchy but you know better than to argue with the queen of Wakanda especially with how heartless she's become.

The path that you and Shuri take is one completely familiar to you from the trees to the way the ice thickens on the ground it's only when you're there that you realize it's your home. "Oh?" Shuri turns to you and finally states your orders that you would have known if you weren't so zoned out by her threatening beauty earlier "there's no more room for people there and M'baku being the dear friend he is has asked you to provide shelter for me while we work to restore the beauty of Wakanda." You gawk for a moment because how in the hell did you miss such an order!? The queen is going to be living in your house you can't help but feel nervous now your house is never nasty or dirty but now nothing seems fine now you're wondering if the curtains have dust on them or if you washed those last dishes good enough but Shuri pulls you out of those thoughts just as quickly as they arose when her soft voice starts to shake from the cold biting air "are you going to invite me in?" You quickly open the door and invite her in offering her something warm when you both get settled she's on the couch and she's almost cute as she holds her cup of warm herbs to her lips with both hands but you block those thoughts out of your mind as you walk up the stairs to find her something of warmth. That suit looks swell but you can tell it was made in a hurry and from her voice wavering earlier she surely didn't make it with thoughts of being in the mountains. You grab what you hope she can fit and come back downstairs "you seemed cold earlier this may be warmer would you like a blanket too?" Shuri isn't surprised to see someone worry about her that's all everyone's been doing since Namor started the war but now that it's over and people are still seeing her as weak it can get a bit irritating. "I don't need them" you look at the furs in your hands and then her suit "you obviously do vibranium does a lot of things and protects a lot of people however I don't remember it being able to keep you warm. You are in my home and I will not be responsible if you die of frostbite but please be my guest." You gently toss the furs on the couch beside her and walk back upstairs Shuri is of course taken back by such lack of care when you speak to her. You're not afraid to say what you really want to and she likes that because with anyone else they just say what she wants to hear or what they know won't upset her. You don't she likes that. This prompts her to glance at the furs and then her suit before she places the glass in her hands down.

Shuri undresses herself slowly unzipping the suit of hers and she's careful as if a tug with too much strength might rip it. You're doing the same in the privacy of your room except you cover yourself in a blanket instead of a robe since you gifted Shuri your handmade robes. Finally undressed and comfortable a loud knock makes your heart pound "yes?" Shuri opens the door taking this as an invite inside but thankfully you're already covered with your blankets when she does the only thing her pretty eyes can see are the dips of your collarbones and a bit of your exposed leg. While on her you can see a lot more the robe is heavy on her you can tell she's not used to carrying that much weight so she's holding most of it in her hands while the rest wraps around her. The fur looks beautiful against her skin it's wrapped around her neck but then it takes a swooning dip in-between her breasts you honestly can't help but stare but as quickly as you do you look away. "Thank you" you nod but Shuri doesn't leave she's staring at you too admiring your scars "how many of those do you have?" You furrow your brows unsure of what she's talking about "oh I have many furs and they're all ha-" "-scars how many scars do you have?" You nod and look down at your body before turning around and showing her the ones on your back.

"Many."

You don't notice Shuri's moved from her place until you feel a cold finger trace over the scars on your back you let out a quiet gasp but Shuri's intrigued she moves your hair to better see them now. "They're beautiful" you smile as you grab your blanket and pull it over your chest "thank you" Shuri hums as her hands rub down your sides "my queen" you can't deal with this kind of touching from anyone especially not Shuri Udaku. "My apologies you're just so beautiful to me" she pulls her hands away and you swear your warmth goes with her "I don't think you should touch me like that." Shuri nods while you continue to stare at the wall "I once again apologize for over stepping boundaries you offer me your home and your furs and I just take advantage of that I'm sorry." You nod as you feel your bed lighten a bit. You're ridiculous her touch is something you've craved yet when you get just a bit of it you allow her to stop you swallow trying to push away your nerves "I'm beautiful to you?" You ask as she makes her way to your door barefoot "yes... I think so but it's possible I could just be missing home and... Other things." You nod pulling the blanket over your shoulders "I'm sure there's no woman like me at home." Shuri smiles to herself "you are so right about that."

"I know because no woman you know would do or risk what I'm about to" you turn towards her now your feet dangle off the edge of your bed as you let the fur blanket pool around your waist exposing your naked body to Shuri who doesn't let her eyes leave you. You can feel that stare of hers looking at every part of you from your round breasts to your bare feet her stare is one you can't avoid one that makes you warm without even trying. To even the air now Shuri drops her furs at her feet exposing her naked body she walks closer to you now and it's your turn to admire. You stand in front of her and take the time to just look for a moment and to your surprise your stare has the same effect hers does on you and you can tell as her chest rises and falls as her body silently begs you to touch it but you don't not right away. You let the cold air bite at her as you size her up glancing at every piece of ink upon her skin. You've seen the hand one and the one on her neck but never have you noticed these new ones but you always imagined what lay beneath that suit of hers and to finally see it you're amazed.

The tattoos paint her skin they're beautiful.

Finally you trail your fingers from the tattoo curling around her shoulder to the one wrapping around her waist she shivers from your touch you're not sure why so you come to a stop whispering to not ruin the moment "do you want me to stop?" She shakes her head "no." You continue letting your hands gently caress her skin and moment after moment you get more comfortable and so does she as you start to leave kisses on her tattoos. You find your way to your knees in front of her and she watches expectantly but you tease because you want her to beg or ask nicely. You kiss your way around her pussy avoiding it as if it's not staring at you begging to be touched screaming at you as it drips from nothing but the soft touches of your lips and hands against her body. You're convinced she hasn't been touched like this in a while because she's so needy you can see it on her face but breaking that face of hers proves to be a bit more complex than you would think. The room being filled with nothing but gasps and light moans finally changes when you mumble against her skin "do you want me to touch you?" Shuri nods but that's not the answer you want you want words and you're going to get them. These sweet whimpers and gasps are pretty but nothing compares to begging and crying. Especially with Shuri's pretty eyes you just know she'd look amazing crying before you and begging you to touch her. Crying goodness maybe one day but you won't go that far... No. Not today. You give what you consider to be a light tap on Shuri's ass but it doesn't prove to be as light as you thought when Shuri cries out "shit." "I'm sorry baby but I want to hear you. Can you speak up or can you only use that pretty voice of yours when you're commanding someone else to do something?" Shuri mumbles "I want you to touch me."

Just to be a bitch you say "I'm sorry?" Shuri speaks up repeating herself but it's still not enough for you so you use two fingers to tease her wet cunt gently patting it letting your fingers get covered in her liquids and letting her get riled up. "Speak. Up." Shuri fidgets reaching for your hand but you glare at her daring her to touch it and see what happens. "Please touch me" you hum in satisfaction but you wonder just how much more you can make her say "touch you how my queen?" You keep your fingers still now gently but firmly pressing onto her clitoris "I want you..." She pauses as if to muster up the courage before finishing her sentence "I want you to touch every part of me I want you to do whatever you want to me." You're the one at a loss for words now but you don't stay like this. You pull her to your bed and make her sit down on the edge propping her legs up "I want to hear everything I want to hear your moans your gasps and your cries can we do that? If I see you thinking about covering your mouth I'll leave you just like this needy and craving an orgasm. Uyaqonda? (Do you understand?) Shuri nods earning a hard smack on her thigh "yes."

You take the time to admire her pretty pussy everything about her is pretty her lips her eyes her hair her thighs but this... What sits in front of you waiting to be touched as it leaks holds a beauty that the goddess Aphrodite herself must have gifted. you rub her thigh and she sighs but seeing her obviously irritated only makes you smile as you suck on her clitorus causing her body to hitch not expecting that so suddenly but you only hum loving the way she's currently trying to stay still. Yeah you've got to get rid of this whole not doing what she so obviously wants to do thing it's holding her back and can ruin this moment for her you don't want that so you give her a little motivation slipping two digits inside of her wet pussy causing her to let out a sweet whimper. Pulling away from her clit for just a moment you tell her "don't be shy you can ride out your orgasm reach your high as you please shit you can grab my hair but I want to see that you're enjoying this too... Okay?" Shuri nods "yeah I...yeah." you're not rough with her from the get go no you ease into it starting off gentle massaging the inside of her walls occasionally curling your fingers causing them to hit the right spot just where she seems to love it because she gets louder when you do this and her body lifts off the bed trying to fuck herself on your hand. It's cute seeing how when she's near she doesn't run away from the feeling instead she runs to it head first. That's good it lets you know that she's comfortable now but letting her be comfortable for too long can be boring so you of course have to change it up getting faster and rough with her using your free arm to keep her in place as she gets louder and finds it hard to be still fucking herself on your hand. The sounds coming from both of her lips are sinful and just like you imagined her moans are beautiful and remind you of a melody but the rasp behind them itches your brain just right and the lewd wet sounds coming from soaking pussy only encourages you to continue.

You watch with a smile on your face as she bucks her hips into your hand "mhm c'mon baby" your encouraging words bring Shuri to her climax. When she looks at you her expression immediately reads embarrassed but you lick your hand clean watching her as you do to show that none of that matters right now and she surely has nothing to be embarrassed about. "You want me to run you a bath?" Shuri nods and you get up dusting your knees off "princess" earlier she corrected you and you wonder will she do it again? "Queen" you hum as you run her some hot bath water and she follows behind you. "You seem embarrassed" Shuri shrugs "maybe... it's just been intimate in a while and I don't think one time did enough for me." Oh... You're surprised but not all too much you knew from the start she could go rounds and that's great because you have a box of toys with her name on it. "So what? You already staying the night we could let this water cool hm" Shuri nods as she glances at your lips just for a moment she hopes you didn't see her but you did and you smile "you want to kiss me?" Shuri stares at your lips now licking her own at the thought of yours on hers. "Can I?" "No. Not if this is casual I don't kiss hookups. They don't deserve it." Shuri nods as you turn on your heel to walk out of the bathroom but Shuri's voice cutting through the air makes you pause in your steps.

"So what if it's not casual?" Did you just touch your way into a relationship with the queen of Wakanda? Yes. Yes you did.

A/n: gentle reminder I do not write smut so please be respectful and think of that before you comment. 😀

Taglist: @verachii @mocha-aya @shuriszn @lolas-bunny @lucillele @shuri-lover @quintessencewrites @yamsthoughts @saintwrld @rxcently @lunax0654 @karimwillia @adeola-the-explorer @garbagesleepschedule @bratydoll @trixielwt @6-noir @annoyingtidalwavequeen @atssukoo @shuri-my-love @inmyheadimobsessed @letitias-fav @rxcently @iwillbiteabitch

@malltake12 @mxyx-rx444 @kiwidreamersstuff

[arty-shadow-morningstar]

A Failed Betrothal (12)

It's been a long time coming.

Nearly Two Years in fact.

[Masterlist] [Ao3]

(PART 1) (PART 2) (PART 3) (PART 4) (PART 5) (PART 6) (PART 7) (PART 8) (PART 9) (PART 10) (PART 11)

--------

Two weeks before...

“So we know that Gabriel Agreste is Hawkmoth and we know what his motivations are for doing this. But you already knew all of this and just needed confirmation. Why haven’t you stopped him yet?” Tim asked, confused at why the Miraculous Team had done nothing about this despite the mounting evidence they had gathered so far.

“We had to be sure. As much as false leads we throw out to cover up our secret identities, he does the same. So it was a clusterfuck to find if he is really Hawkmoth and it had been really hard to gather evidence since he is such a recluse weirdo. And most importantly, this particular plan to defeat Hawkmoth hinges on the fact that Gabriel is Hawkmoth or it wouldn’t work.” Marinette explained.

Chloe frowned, “How come this is the first time I have heard of this plan?”

“It’s just something I thought up when I first suspected Gabriel is Hawkmoth. Also, there was never the right time or the right conditions to carry it out. Mainly because Chat and everyone else made me doubt if he could really be Hawkmoth. Nothing was concrete and it wouldn’t work if I was wrong in my suspicions. I also had other various plans for my other suspects for Hawkmoth.”

“So why does Hawkmoth need to be Gabriel Agreste for this one to work?” Tim asked.

“This plan is tailored specifically for him. Or at least, someone with his mindset and personality. I have met many men like him. Men who are in a high position of power and take it for granted. Men who don't like getting their hands dirty and instead abuse their powers and do everything they can to achieve their goals. They won’t show their faces unless they are certain that they have the complete upper hand. Look at Heroes’ Day and Miracle Queen-”, Chloe winced at the reminder, “-But unlike the others, Gabriel seems more desperate. Desperate to akumatise babies and put his own son in danger for it. Money and fame isn’t much of a problem for him to get. If he wanted world domination, he would have announced it for everyone to know. So why would he need a reality-altering wish that he isn’t willing to risk himself but desperate enough to do this?”

“More power?” Alix ventured.

“Same category as world domination but nice try, Alix. What would a heartless man like Gabriel need a wish for? And be desperate for it. I think he wants to bring someone back from the dead.”

“His late wife, Emilie Agreste.” Tim nodded in understanding but still isn’t getting what Marinette is getting at, “But what does this have to do with the plan?”

“It also means that if we create a situation where there’s a chance he might lose a shot at making his wish forever. He will finally come out of his dark little cocoon and we will have a butterfly net ready for him.”

“Marinette, that pun was terrible.” Chloe said in disgust.

“Yeah. I know. I know. I knew it the moment I heard it. Plagg has been rubbing off on me.”

“How exactly are you going to draw him out?”

“Well, how much is Jason willing to go back into the super-villain business?”

Jason just grinned in reply.

-

“So any questions?” Marinette asked after finishing her hour-long presentation of her plan to her team, her mother and the Bat vigilantes in the Dupain-Cheng living room. They were seated on either the couch, chairs pulled in from the kitchen or the floor with blankets and cushions. Food and drinks were provided by Tom who was currently working downstairs in the bakery.

“Pixie, no offence, but this plan is insane.” Jason said from his seat on the floor while allowing Chloe to paint his nails.

Alix snorted, “This is Marinette’s usual level of insane. You just have to get used to it.”

“I should have figured that out the moment she said that she would destroy the Lazarus Pits.”

“Are you okay with this, Jason?” Marinette questioned, not knowing if his past as a crime lord was a sore subject or not.

“Hell yeah, I’m in. Getting one over a rich asshole sounds fun.”

“And also because Hawkmoth needs to be stopped.” Tim added.

“That too. But mainly the first one.”

“If everyone is clear on the plan, are we good to go?”

A chorus of yes sounded.

----

A week before….

Marinette as Ladybug and Red Robin discreetly arrived at the roof of TVi news station.

“Nadja Chamack?” She called the reporter who was waiting for them.

“Ladybug. I have been expecting you since you called me. Who’s the new hero?”

“This is Red Robin. He is from the Justice League to help out. We are here because we have a plan to take down Hawkmoth and we need every major news station to report on an attack tomorrow at the Trocadéro square.”

“How do you know that is when Hawkmoth is going to strike?”

“It’s not Hawkmoth that is attacking. We are going to do a fake out that makes it look like some other villain is going for the Miraculous but they are on our side. Red Robin is going to give you some information in order to convince Hawkmoth that they are an actual serious threat. I hope you know that this plan will require your utmost discretion.”

“Oh, I will help you with anything to get back that vile man. It will finally be nice to not worry about my daughter turning into an akuma every time she doesn’t get her way. Although, she has been getting better about it.”

After hashing out a few more details and Red Robin handing over a small list of Red Hood’s past crimes, the two heroes exited via the window.

“One down, a few more to go.” Red Robin said.

They both discreetly stuck to the shadows as they went to the next news station on their list.

-

Jason looked at the crowd of people that were gathering in the gym that Kagami had rented using her family name.

“Damn, how did you manage to hire this many stunt actors with a tight deadline?” Jason asked, looking at Nathaniel, Kagami and Chloe, who were all transformed.

Chloe smirked in Kagami’s direction. Kagami looked away, her face turning an interesting shade of pink.

“Kagami has a… friend that has connections in the film industry and was more than willing to do anything for her. No questions asked.” Chloe replied with a teasing lilt to her voice.

“Does this friend happen to have a name?” Jason asked as nonchalantly as possible.

“Felix Graham de Vanily.” Nathaniel replied. Kagami shot him a betrayed look.

“Graham de Vanily.” The name vaguely sounded familiar to Jason. “Hey, isn’t that-?”

“Felix is Adrien’s cousin. Their moms are sisters.” Chloe replied. “And he is such an asshole.”

“He’s not that bad.” Kagami defended.

“Only to you. Don’t be fooled by his gentlemanly side, Kagami.” Chloe said.

“Why is he an asshole?” Jason asked, slightly out of curiosity.

“Felix knew for months that Gabriel was Hawkmoth and he also knows that what we are doing is for the sake of the Miraculous Team.” Nathanial explained.

“Aren’t you worried that he would rat us out to Hawkmoth?”

Kagami shook her head. “Felix hates Gabriel. He is more than happy to help in order to see his uncle’s downfall. He would probably come in person if he didn’t have other obligations.”

“Please, the boy was whipped for you. He would have demanded some stupid conditions for us to fulfil in order to get his help. One word from you and he caved like a house of cards and practically did everything for us. For free.” Chloe gestured at all the actors assembled in the gym.

“Enough.” Kagami said, her cheeks as red as her costume. “Where’s Alix?”

A glowing blue portal appeared next to them and Alix appeared.

“Sorry. Sorry. I know that I’m late.” Alix said and she glared at Jason who opened his mouth. “No wonderland jokes.”

“So how’s the timeline?” Jason asked instead.

Alix shook her head. “It’s hard to tell. There are so many different factors that could make it go wrong. I did my best to make sure that the plan goes as smoothly as possible.”

(That consists of one break-in into a school, taking down some assassins with help of Sabine and making sure that a library book was returned on time. The last one was more of a personal errand.)

“There will be a few more akumas this week.” Alix added.

Chloe groaned. “But we have that stupid project to finish.”

“Another friendship assignment by Bustier?” Kagami asked.

“No. Thankfully, it’s Mendeleive so no need to bullshit some inane talk. Truth to be told, I just been writing out the plots of My Little Pony and changing the names for those type of assignments.” Nathaniel answered.

Kagami frowned. "What's My Little Pony?"

"I will send you some clips."

“Enough chit chat. We have work to do. Sooner we finish this, the sooner we can work on our grades.” Chloe said.

Chloe turned to face the crowd and clapped for their attention.

“Hello, as you all know, I am the Bee Hero of the Miraculous Team. I have one question for you all. Who would like to be part of the team to take down Hawkmoth?”

The room was filled with raised hands.

“Great! Here's Ladybug’s insane plan.”

----

24 hours until. ...

“So you have these anti-akuma charms?” Jason asked, holding the ladybug-shaped thing to his eye to examine it.

“Yup.” Marinette answered by making more power-up potions. They might not need them but it would be good to be prepared.

“Why don’t you use them often? Maybe get rid of repeated villains like the pigeon guy.”

“Oh, geez. Why didn’t I think of that?” Marinette replied sarcastically.

“So these things don’t even work.”

“It did work. For a while. But that annoying son of a bitch managed to find a way around it by forcefully overloading it with his creepy vibes.”

“That gotta suck.”

“Yeah, I thought I had found a way to maybe slow down akuma attacks enough, especially tedious ones like Monsieur Pigeon, so I can get a decent night's rest for once but Noooo, They didn’t even last for two weeks.”

“Why are you even giving me this?”

“Because they do work, just not as efficiently as I hoped. To Hawkmoth, it is what the victim’s akuma object is like to us.”

“Explain, Pixie.”

“So we have to find the akuma object in order to purify it, right? Well, Hawkmoth has to find where these anti-akuma charms are hidden and evilise them. And then, he could akumatise the victim. But it buys us time for the victim to calm down and not get akumatized or give us a headstart to power up. It will also help you resist him.”

“You sounded like you had experience.”

“There were a few close calls. And I also got akumatized once so Kagami had to be Ladybug in order to throw Hawkmoth off track.”

“You were akumatized?” Jason sat up in surprise, “Isn’t that like ya know….the worst case scenario?”

“I was a pretty lame one. But at least, I wasn’t wearing an eye-sore like the others. Dame Justice. My power was to change people’s outfits into anything I want or make it into a disaster. It was at most just an inconvenience to my team. I was just upset that I lost the tickets to a pretty big fashion event. Didn’t notice the akuma until it was too late. But I managed to get the earrings off in time so Tikki could get it to Kagami. Later, I did manage to break out of his hold which made him pissed.”

Jason cleared his throat to get her attention, “So back to the anti-akuma charms?”

“Unless he finds out about it, you would be able to resist him. The others have mentioned that with the charm, it was easier for them to be able to resist him from bending them to his will by manipulating your emotions. The charms make it so you can think more clearly and logically. Tim told me that you are pretty pig-headed so plan B is for you to resist being brainwashed by being your delightful stubborn self.”

----

A few hours until….

Marinette fidgeted in place as she watched Tim fiddled with the equipment and checked if the cameras they had set up so he and Oracle could watch the battle from afar, were working. She felt her father’s lumbering presence behind her.

“Papa, I know that it’s you.” She said without turning around her head.

He huffed in annoyance at the failed attempt of sneaking up on his daughter, “How your mother and you do it, I still can’t figure it out.”

( This was a Dupain-Cheng household joke. Tom would try to sneak up on his wife or daughter or both without getting caught. But the mother and daughter would always know. Even Gina was able to catch him during her visits. He only succeeded once on Sabine and got a sprained wrist for his trouble. He proudly wore his wrist brace despite being unable to bake while he wore it. )

“Trade secrets, Papa.” She looked up at him with a mischievous grin.

“Mon chéri, what is troubling you?” Tom asked, picking up his daughter’s mood.

“Nothing. I know that we would win but I just- I just feel like something might go wrong.”

Tom sat down and hugged her, “Anything I can do to help?”

She leaned into the comfort of her father’s embrace. No matter how old she got, her father’s arms made her feel safe. “It’s okay. I think it’s just the nerves. Well, actually…” Marinette sat up and rushed to her bedroom. A minute later, she came back with something in her hand and Tikki followed her.

“Marinette?”

“Tom Dupain, as the Guardian of the Miracle Box, will you guard the Ladybug earrings until Hawkmoth’s defeat?”

“I- Er- what?”

“This is just a precaution. A just-in-case. On the slightest 0.0001% chance that Hawkmoth wins and gets the Black Cat, there is someone I trust protecting the earrings and Tikki. You don’t have to but it will make me feel better.”

“Okay, I will do it. If it helps you feel better, I will make sure no one else gets them.”

Marinette hugged him.

“Do I have to wear them?”

“No. Just keep Tikki company. It will be in the Miracle Box with the other ones.”

“Thank god. I don't want to get my ears pierced.”

-----

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[kaeyapilled]

trying to put my (mostly) child kaeya headcanons in one spot. brace yourself this is gonna be so long

first i think he was around 8 years old when he was left in mondstadt.

before that he lived with his father always moving from place to place. or maybe... i dont know honestly. they didn't live in khaenri'ah (whatever's left of it) because i like the idea that kaeya is the last hope for a place he's only heard stories about. for people he has barely met. and he yearns for it all the same, enough to run away as a stowaway on a ship just for the slim chance he'll get to meet it, to return to a place he only knows through other people's memories... yeah it's a thought i like to entertain. so anyway i dont know where exactly kaeya lived before my headcanons for this are really vague lmao. im torn between making him be raised in some corner of teyvat, or somewhere very abyss touched, or... a secret third thing i dont yet know...

i think his mother died when he was so young he has barely any recollection of her and it haunts him a bit. he cant remember what she looked like. to have an idea he can just look in a mirror though. he's her spitting image.

unsure about siblings... i think he didnt have any

i dont think his father was abusive. neglectful maybe. he was really awful at the father job but mostly because of how emotionally distant he was. he never hit kaeya or went out of his way to be cruel to him, he was just very stern. kaeya was a child who didn't really know comfort. all his basic needs were met, but his father just wasn't the type to hug or say words of encouragement, to calm him down from nightmares, to soothe a fever beyond just bitter medicine and leaving kaeya laid down on the cot alone. i think the closest they ever got to that sort of connection was when he taught kaeya their clan's history, which we know he did from canon. that piece of paper where the handwriting shows an adult guiding a child's hand on the paper makes me. Feel Things. he was not a soft man or a good father by any means but. *gestures vaguely*

and you know what. i think he loved kaeya in his own way. which is to say that he loved kaeya more as a means to an end than as a son. or maybe not. maybe leaving kaeya was more difficult for him than i give him credit for. i cant really decide. either way 2/10 for effort his parenting sucked and left deep scars in this poor poor child BUT he was not a heartless asshole is what im trying to say

anyway kaeya has very bittersweet very mixed feelings about him. he left his own son all alone in an unfamiliar land for unclear reasons. placed a burden nobody should ever have to carry on the shoulders of a child. he never embraced him or told him he loved him. but at the same time we see kaeya in game trying to understand his father's motivations for abandoning him there. that maybe a happier life could have been a factor. his safety. assuming this is, like, true. i headcanon that it is. it's not the entire reason by far. but it could have been part of it. maybe that's called "wishful thinking". we'll find out one day i hope

i don't really know what to make of the entire "you're our last hope" thing. as in, what exactly does that entail. what did his father tell him. im just kinda waiting patiently for them to actually tell us what's up. i can tell you it was a ridiculous amount of pressure on kaeya though. he might have been mature for his age and forced to grow up faster than he should have but a lot of it was simply beyond his comprehension. like, that's an entire seven year old child. he shouldve been playing with toys. anyway. kaeya who has felt guilt as his standard everyday main emotion since he was little

i think kaeya's father taught him to speak, read and write in common, so kaeya could understand people pretty well when he was left in mondstadt and could read basic stuff

an extension of this headcanon: i think each region has their own language besides just common tongue, and that in general people can speak both, especially in the big cities, while in rural areas people will probably only speak the region's mother tongue. i read a mutual's headcanon like this once and it rewired my brain so i borrowed it. also common varies from place to place because there are different dialects from mixing with the nations' other languages. to make it fun!

so when kaeya gets to mondstadt he can't speak mondstadtian specifically but he can speak common and the ragnvindrs can all speak both. eventually as he stays there kaeya learns mondstadt's language and loses the accent (a very conscious effort from his part)

more on the accent: if you listen closely to him nowadays, some word or other still sounds odd, maybe too stiff, the way he rolls his tongue on certain letters- but it's very subtle

kaeya hasn't spoken his mother tongue in so long he inevitably has forgotten certain things, and he was so young when he stopped speaking it that there are things he simply never learned. i think this haunts kaeya sooo bad. he's someone who's always trying to keep little pieces of his past, of things that have a lot of emotional value for him; he's someone who values memories, in particular physical, tangible pieces of memories. and we see him do this with his roots, like adding khaenri'ahn symbols and motifs to his outfits, saving slips of paper written by his father about his family's story, etc..

so anyway the fact he's forgetting bits and pieces of his mother tongue makes him grasp desperately at whatever's still left of it in his memory. i wonder if he writes what he can om scraps of paper, or maybe an actual notebook; i wonder also if he did similar things as a child too? though it's something he'd have to keep insanely well hidden and the paranoia about someone finding it out would absolutely eat him alive

okay back to his childhood. when he's taken in by the ragnvindrs i think he's very quiet and only speaks when spoken to. he is so unfathomably scared and lonely and everything is terrifyingly unfamiliar but any genuine manifestation of fear and anxiety and homesickness is saved for the dead of night when everyone's asleep and won't see/hear him cry. he keeps to himself, acts very polite, doesn't bother anyone with asking for help or for anything beyond what he's already been offered.

diluc was very happy about having another kid his age living under the same roof and almost immediately saw him as a little brother and kaeya simply could not match the enthusiasm. they took it as him just being shy, and to an extent that was part of it, but also he simply did not want to be there at all. no matter how wonderfully kind those people were to him, kaeya missed his father and his mother and the homeland he didnt even know in person but that was his biggest responsibility. it was such an enormous change and he missed the familiarity so much it made him ill. like literally. i think he spent his first or second week with the ragnvindrs bedridden

im very fond of the hc that kaeya took ill easily as a child.

kaeya had nightmares often. i absolutely cannot see him asking for comfort in any direct way. most of the time he'd just hold his own hand through it. other times he'd slip out of bed and see there was still light coming from the study. he'd sit on an armchair next to crepus, who already knew kaeya would hardly ever speak about what was making him upset, and watch him work until he fell asleep again.

i think kaeya was a very scrawny kid who looked a bit younger than he actually was. next to diluc (who im always torn between making just seven months older than him, or a year and seven months older) he seemed even tinier. while diluc was the picture of a healthy boy, all full red cheeks and bright eyes, kaeya was too lean, eyes too tired, sometimes distant, like he's not entirely present, lost in thought. you could see a sadness in him sometimes that seemed deeper than anything a child his age should know. kaeya was quiet not just because he didn't speak a lot, but because he seemed to exist silently. if he disappeared to be alone for a while and didn't want you to find him, you would not find him.

and anyway. i like the idea of him slowly allowing himself to be louder as he becomes more comfortable with the ragnvindrs. and revealing his more sarcastic side lol. he's always been quick witted, he was just too timid at first

child kaeya who was such a weird kid. he spoke in a way that often lacked the childishness expected from someone who's yet to turn nine. said odd cryptic things with zero explanation. banned from sharing bedtime stories after scaring diluc with overly fucked up khaenri'ahn folk tales. normalest child alive. i think he bit into a crystalfly once

oh and kaeya absolutely came up with the whole "i come from a family of pirates" thing as a kid. i think he read about pirates in a book once and was completely enamored with the idea. and one side effect of being a secret agent pawn spy is the ability to spin wild tales on the spot. so anyway did he convince diluc he was toootally a pirate. yes. diluc believed him for way too long

no wonder he's so good at telling stories to kids nowadays. he's had practice

about the eyepatch: i can never settle on just one headcanon!! option one: his eye was fine as a kid and he only wore it sometimes for the pirate roleplay, then he started wearing it everyday after The Fight because diluc wounded him; option two: he always wore the eyepatch because there is something abyss/khaenri'ah related going on with his right eye (don't ask me what exactly. though im fond of the idea that it's connected to his father and it's basically what allows him to fulfill the spy role, in some nebulous way.) and during the fight diluc aimed for it on purpose; there's probably a secret third option im forgetting about. i lean more towards option one these days i think.

okay im out of headcanons for now. i bet that the moment i click post im gonna remember ten more. but its ok. i can make another post if needed. never forget that i can speak about kaeya for literal hours and that, if prompted, i will do so

[alls-fair-in-pride-and-prejudice]

Confessions

Part 4 of Weaving Constellations - continued from here. Part 5 here

(A/N: I actually posted this before, but soon deleted it because I didn't like it and did some rewrites/added a scene. If you're one of the 3 people that liked this before it was deleted I am sorry I hope you see this one XD Also! Lyra's arcane focus is a pendant that twinkles like stars and her magic has a twinkly quality to it, thus Karlach's nickname for her. Enjoy some angst!)

CW: emotional manipulation/abuse

Midnight smiles at her, but it’s not the soft loving kind of smile she has come to know. This smile holds danger behind it, a storm brewing just behind those golden eyes. “Starling, I want you to explain what I just saw through your earrings. It appeared to me that you gave away the very artifact I wanted to a wizard who eats the magic out of them.” He grabs her chin, pulling her gaze up to him. “You would not be so foolish, would you?”

“He would die without it, Midnight. Please, try to understand what I’m up against right now! I need all the help I can get.”

“Ah yes, you’re up against such dire odds, why not include alienating the source of your power to the list?” Midnight seethes. “Do you love him, is that what this is? The first human man that is marginally kind to you and you throw yourself at him? Starling, I knew you were desperate when we met, but have I not been generous? Have I not given you everything you need?” He pushes back a lock of her hair, gentle and soothing. “Do you not love me anymore?” His voice is soft, pleading.

“No! My love, it’s nothing like that. He’s a friend, a good one, but I love you!” She takes his hand, leaning her cheek into it, eager to reassure him.

He pushes her away harshly, his voice taking on an equally biting tone. “Then why would you do this? I could not care less about mortals and their petty concerns. If he dies, he dies! Give it a couple more decades and nature will take care of it regardless. You serve me, first.”

She’s never seen him be so… heartless before. Capricious perhaps, in that classically fey way, but to be talking of mortals like the dirt under his shoe… Perhaps she has never gotten close enough to another mortal to talk about them with him. “Midnight… I’m mortal.”

“You are different. You are a mortal with the power and knowledge of an archfey at your disposal. I chose you for a reason, starling, but if this behavior should continue… I may regret my choice.” He looks down his nose at her, haughty and challenging. “Tis a first infraction, so I will be merciful. A day without your powers. Let us see how you like the feeling of being without me since you wish to push me away.”

Lyra reaches for him pleadingly. “Midnight, I’m not pushing you away, I swear.” Is this all they are? Patron and servant? No, certainly not. But why won’t he listen to her? Why won’t he understand?

“We will speak after your punishment. Goodbye, Lyra.”

Gale is the first thing Lyra sees when she wakes. He’s sitting next to her, nose buried in a book. Lyra can tell without sitting up that they’re back at camp, but she has no memory of getting there. Her head is pounding, she must have hit it when she fell. As she stirs, Gale’s attention fixes on her and his tired expression breaks into a smile. “Thank the gods, you’re awake.”

Midnight’s voice is still ringing in her ears. She wants to cry but tries to keep the tears inside.

“How are you feeling?” Gale asks, putting a hand to her forehead to check her temperature. “We did all we could to look after you, but you seemed to be in quite a state, like fitful dreams.”

“You… could say that,” Lyra mumbles, slowly sitting up with Gale’s assistance. Karlach is the first to notice and grins, running over to her. “Soldier! You’re awake! Oi, Shadowheart! Twinkles is up!”

Shadowheart is all business. As the only healer in their ragtag team, she approaches Lyra with the demeanor of a very exhausted doctor. “None of us could figure out what happened to you. The only lead we had was Gale determining fae magic was involved, which isn’t terribly helpful when you’ve been exploring a hag’s lair.”

“I thought you might have caught some of that poison cloud and suffered a delayed effect, or that handling of the artifact may have caused adverse effects. I swiftly disposed of it, rest assured. One of the few upsides to my condition is that it's not terribly picky about enchantments or curses.”

As Gale rambles, Lyra catches Wyll watching from a distance, and when she looks at him he nods like his suspicions have been confirmed. “It wasn’t hag magic, it was my patron.”

“Like we need another ticked off patron making life harder for us,” Astarion grumbles, “no offense, Wyll.”

“It doesn’t look like you’ve been relieved of either of your eyes, or had twenty years taken off your life, so there doesn’t seem to have been any typical archfey punishment enacted, at least.” Lyra quirks a brow at Gale, slightly surprised he’s so knowledgeable about fey pacts. Then again, he seems to be a little knowledgeable about everything.

“He’s definitely cross with me,” Lyra admits. “Our overall agreement is that I bring him magical artifacts… and he wanted the one I gave to you.” She looks to Gale. “You assured me it was a matter of life and death. I hope I made the right choice.”

Gale is silent, staring in shock at Lyra. “Gods, twinkles, I think you actually made him speechless,” Karlach remarks in wonder.

His mouth finally catches up with his brain and he says, “yes, yes of course, I assure you I will not take this sacrifice lightly. To think you would risk angering your patron simply on my word that it is necessary… I am deeply touched.” He takes her hand and does a flourishing bow. “You, my lady, are a true paragon of honor and kindness.”

Lyra pulls her hand away. That’s certainly not true. Hells, she has barely thought of disobeying Midnight before, and this was not the first moral quandary she encountered. “It’s… the first time I’ve ever done anything he did not want. I have always done as he’s asked. This is uncharted territory.”

“How long have you had this pact?” Wyll asks.

“A year, but it feels like a lifetime.” Lyra smiles at the nostalgic memory of those early days, “And we were… involved before the pact. First a curious student who happened upon a mirror connected to planes beyond and her personal tutor from the Fey Wilds. Then…” Then lovers. They are lovers, right? He’s never said he loves her, but fey are different. “Well, I suppose I ought to be honest about this with you, if we’re to rely on each other. I entered into a pact with him when I stole for him. I took a powerful artifact from the Strixhaven archives.” She sighs, avoiding Gale’s gaze, remembering how he asked her why she was on the sword coast. “I fled to the sword coast on the run from the law.”

Everyone is silent for a moment, waiting to hear if she will elaborate more. Gale breaks the silence. “You realize that you have an intellectual aptitude that certainly exceeds plenty of the peers I studied with at Blackstaff,” he says, “you didn’t need a warlock pact to achieve magical power, surely you know this.”

“It wasn’t for power,” Lyra retorts, on the defensive. “It was for love.” She doesn’t quite know why she felt so secretive about her relationship with her patron, but even admitting that she got caught up in the romance of it all brings the heat of shame to her cheeks. “I don’t regret loving Midnight. And even as… angry as he is that I disobeyed, I know he still cares for me. But… I do regret what I did for the pact.” She has been laid bare before her companions. She feels the need to fill in any half-second of silence just to ease the tension that seems to grow stronger and stronger. “Now you all know my past, and why I got off easy with my patron.”

“Gods you’re a goody-goody aren’t you,” Astarion remarks with a melodramatic sigh. “If we’re all going to confess every time we’ve lied, cheated, or stolen, we’ll be here a tenday.”

“I am no stranger to the regrettable lengths one will go to for love,” Gale offers. “I can hardly judge when the consequences for my misguided deeds are rather more dire than trouble with the law.” He takes a deep breath, seeming to steel himself. “It is time you learned the truth of my condition.”

He was not exaggerating. Lyra’s issue of leaving school and hiding out on the Sword Coast pales to the potential immediate annihilation of an entire city.

It’s quite a lot to take in, but one thing is certain. “We’re in this together, Gale,” Lyra assures him. “I’m not leaving you.”

Though not romantic in nature, Lyra will look back on those words later and realize that it was her first confession of love. She never had many friends before, but Gale… the more she learned about him, the more she felt they understood each other. She would not give that up, no matter the danger involved.

[memorystormsanctuary]

KHOC Week 2024

Day 3~ Connection

Today for @khoc-week we get to discuss the connections, a pivotal part of any Kingdom Hearts story.

Annora has had many connections over the course of her life, and many have shaped who she is and where she would go. But there are those that remain strong even as she goes on to her next life. Today we cross over into Missing Link, though kept vague as we really don't know where that's going yet. And we get to see where it all changed for Annora. Where her story isn't quite the same as the players.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Annora wished she had understood what she was agreeing to when she had agreed to it in the first place. The longer she was in Scala the more she remembered. And the more she remembered the more she realized there was a great deal of information missing.

The first thing Annora had really begun to remember was her friends. At first it had been Lyra she remembered. It was easy, when she now looked so much like Lyra had. Her once white hair colored mint green. The soft face she had grown with. And she knew they were supposed to be a pair. For a short time she had tried looking for her. Until she remembered Lyra had been lost even before the war.

Then she had remembered Ephemer, though that was probably because of the statute of him in the center of town. She had spent so long staring up at it, piecing together what she could remember of a friend she saw so little of. It wasn’t until the very end she had seen him once more. In the world after the war, but before the real end. She remembered the rage and anger she had towards Ephemer for so long. And how it had melted away in moments. It was back now. She didn’t like that he had left her all over again.

After Ephemer it was only natural she had remembered Skuld. The one who had become her partner in crime in all ways. She remembered adventures in Daybreak Town. Fighting Heartless and Foretellers a like. Their party and all the adventures they had together. Skuld’s bright smile and energy. The fierceness she would use to protect anyone, and the kindness she showed towards the younger wielders who were filled with fear. Sometimes Annora thought she might have seen Skuld in Scala. But it was looking more and more like she was just seeing a ghost she wished was real.

From Skuld Annora had been led to the memories of their party. The calm expressions of Jax, and Takiko’s bitter sarcasm, and Kamiko’s bright smile. All the members of the party they had lost to the war. The ones who wouldn’t escape it. Who couldn’t.

And then there was those from after the war. Ventus and Brain and Lauriam. Skuld and Ephemer’s friends. She hadn’t had the time to know them as well as she liked. And the thought of them was enough to make her heart ache. Ventus and his never-ending sweetness that Annora had felt such a strong urge to protect. Lauriam and his measured words and quiet determination. He had fought so hard for them, even when things were at their worst. And then there was Brain. All clever plans and complex thoughts. He was here too, in Scala if the rumors were true. Annora was trying her best to find him, though the societies seemed to treat him with such honor. It wasn’t as if she could just approach him. To share the load of their shared memories.

It was only after she remembered all the others she had remembered how she had ended up here in the first place. The plan she had joined, even if it weren’t exactly what they had expected of her.

Luxu hadn’t been clear what exactly he expected of her. All he had said was she would watch with him. It was seeming less and less like watching. And more like she was a guide, meant to keep things on the correct path. She was involved so he didn’t have to be.

Annora remembered the first time she had met Luxu. Up on the hills outside of Daybreak Town. She had been so surprised to find him there. And even more surprised no one else had thought to look for him there. It wasn’t exactly a discrete place. Not lost as the foretellers had said. He was in plain sight. Watching.

She hadn’t expected for him to be easy to find the second time. And even less so the third time. Eventually however, it changed from uncertainty to certainty. She would see him again. And up on that hill they had conversations again and again.

At the time she hadn’t thought it special. But it was that meeting that had changed everything. Had set her down this path. At the time it had seemed so simple. Just a walk to clear her head, until she had stumbled across the cloaked figure on the cliff.

Now the memory of his offer played in her head on repeat.

“You know, not many wielders would think to visit me,” Luxu said. He wasn’t looking at Annora. He usually wasn’t, instead watching the town with his keyblade stabbed into the ground beside him. Annora had been drawn to it, a dark keyblade with the bright blue eye.

“Not many wielders know where you are,” Annora countered. “The foretellers don’t, do they?”

“No, they don’t,” Luxu agreed. “It’s better they don’t. Wouldn’t want them to interfere with my role.”

“So all of you are just playing a part?” Annora asked, bitterness seeping into her voice. She had heard the way the foretellers defended these roles, even as they tore apart the town. To hear of another filled her with dread.

“For the most part,” Luxu agreed. “Some are going off script a bit, I will say.”

“So what’s your role?” Annora asked.

“Would you like to learn?” Luxu asked in return. Annora frowned once again.

“That’s why I asked, obviously,” she said, crossing her arms. Luxu laughed. Something about his laugh was comforting, warm and welcoming. For a moment, she forgot her annoyance.

“Not what I was getting at,” Luxu said. “I was more, offering for you to join me.”

“What?” Annora asked.

“Would you like to be my apprentice?” Luxu asked. He was looking at Annora now, though she couldn’t see his face behind the shadows of his hood. She could feel his gaze on her though. “I could use the help, and well, I like you.”

“Are you serious?” Annora asked.

“Of course,” Luxu said. “So, what do you say? Want to help with my role, it’s the only way you’re finding out what it is.”

Annora hesitated in that moment. She didn’t even answer him that day. It had been weeks, until just before the end, until she finally agreed.

Part of her wished she never had.

And the other knew there was no other way.

She would make herself a part of this story.

[writing-good-vibes]

in the back of his mom's mercury

after all this time, anna finally writes a corey x reader fic !! you know when you just get a single scenario stuck in your head. no plot, no nothing, just vibes? that's what this is. also this is somehow the second round of car sex i've written for corey, i guess he just lends himself to that sort of thing.

WARNING for smut (not particularly explicit), f!reader, car sex, inexperience but not first time, post-accident but pre-michael corey, smoking (corey, not reader) and very vague mentions of child abuse (joan cunningham hate club).

taglist: @slutforstabbings (if anyone else wants to be tagged in corey related things, just let me know !!)

"I dunno if we should be doing this," Corey whispers, hesitating at the curb.

"It's okay, she won't even notice," you promise, turning back from where you were already halfway around the hood of Corey's mom's car. Weaving your fingers together with his, you make him look at you. "You deserve to live a little, Core."

Corey does look at you, squeezing your hand. But with his free hand he worries the ridged edge of the car keys. Is he really going to do this? His momma would throw a fit if she found out what he was doing; is it really, really worth it?

You squeeze his hand back, you have that patient look on your face. You weren't going to make him do anything, you never did. Since the moment he met you on his first day at the call centre, you were the only one who'd been friendly with him straight away. People tended to give him a wide berth these days, which he preferred to the alternative of people saying the all nasty things they're thinking to his face. But not you. No, you'd talked to him between calls, gave him pointers about the software system when he was too nervous to go and ask his supervisor about it again. You showed him where you bought your coffee in the morning and you always hung out together on your lunch breaks. Even when he moved on to Prevo after begging Ronald to give him a job (he'd do all the grunt work, he promised, he just needed something manual to do instead of sat behind that desk all day), you'd kept in touch, saying he was more than just a work friend.

You're definitely worth it, he decides, unlocking his mom's Mercury and getting in the drivers seat.

Corey got his licence back in high school drivers ed, but his momma barely ever let him drive her car, so he'd not had a lot of practice since the day he passed his test. His momma was the worst backseat driver too -- "Corey, check your mirrors," "Watch that pothole," "Careful, Corey, that maniac's about to pull out in front of us". Even when she did let him behind the wheel, and he could count on both hands the times she'd let him drive them home from the grocery store, he ends up wishing she hadn't bothered.

The streets were almost empty as you drove through town. You watched Corey, watched as the street lights illuminated the look of concentration on his face before you passed into another pocket of darkness. There was something in the air that you couldn't quite put your finger on, beneath the almost solemn feeling of being the only two souls in town, there was a tangible sense of good old-fashioned mischief.

You'd brought some CDs along, almost every mix you'd ever burned, so you didn't have to put the radio on. Before meeting Corey, you didn't mind WURG, you kind of liked the variety of genres, and Willy was a character -- he made for good entertainment. After the accident though, Willy's conspiracies about it felt heartless. And once you met Corey in person, eyes fliting nervously around the office while DeVon showed him around on his first day, you knew you'd never listen to another word out of Willy's mouth. Flicking through your collection, you settle on one of your most recent playlists, and the car's built in CD player receives the disc shakily. You keep the volume low so it doesn't distract Corey's focus.

Lover's Lane was on the edge of town, past the rail road and down a gravel track. Without the headlights of the Mercury, you'd be swallowed into the pitch black night. Above the treeline, the radio tower blinks in the distance. There wasn't much of a view from here beyond the cracked dirt, even with headlights still on.

Corey puts the car into park and leans back in his seat. He keeps his hands on the wheel, unsure what he'd do with them if he let go.

Slowly, like you think you might startle Corey otherwise, you reach over and turn the volume up a few notches now, just to set the mood.

Corey's always hesitant to make the first move, no matter how clear you make it that you want him too. That's okay though, you'd seen first hand how difficult Corey found socialising. It was like he was always waiting for the punchline to a joke he didn't understand and didn't trust that the punchline wasn't, in fact, himself.

You place your hand over his on the wheel, wiggling your fingers until he lets you link yours between his. He loosens his grip, turning his palm over so you can hold his hand properly.

"Are you going to kiss me?" you ask, giving him the permission he needs.

He grins, small at first, then spreading wide to dimple his cheeks. He lets out a huffing little laugh, before his lips meet yours.

There's a giddiness to his kissing, the way his hands wander and he hums happily. You've noticed before that he gets like this, drawn out of his torturous echo chamber and caught up instead in the fun of fooling around. In the juvenile counting of bases and mumbled daydreams between stolen cigarette kisses.

"C'mon," you murmur against his lips before you manage to pull yourself away. You smile at him, climbing over the centre console and into the back seat.

Corey follows, his nervous energy having dissipated with his need to keep touching you, and have you keep touching him.

Safely in the backseat, Corey's hands gravitate to your waist, holding you there as your lips reconnect. Soft breaths warming the both of you between open mouthed kisses.

You fumble with Corey's jeans, in no rush to jump ahead as you finally pop the button and unzip his fly. His hips buck as your hand brushes over his briefs.

One of Corey's hands drifts beneath your shirt, tracing along your spine, feeling the blemishes of your back before his thick finger slide work their way beneath the band of your bra. He's hit or miss with how quickly he can unhook it, but he manages it this time. The fastening pings undone, letting the straps slip down your shoulders.

Pulling away feels like an impossible ask, so you stay as close as possible, sharing the same shaky breaths with Corey as you both scrabble to get out of your shirts.

When you're half bare, you latch back onto Corey; lips on lips, chest to chest. He whimpers into your mouth when you palm his bulge, hard and leaking, over his underwear.

All hope of going slow, of making this last, go out the window when you finally -- finally -- wrap your hand around him. All of a sudden it's nothing but heat and want and wetness. He yanks you into his lap, work-rough hands hot on your hips. Jeans come off, dropped into the footwell. His hand goes to your panties, drenching his fingers in slick as you rock against him, and it's not enough. It's not enough -- never enough -- because you can never get enough of Corey.

"Oh fuck," he groans, when he's finally inside you. His arms hug your waist, clinging hopelessly as he gets lost in you, lost in the paradise he can only find between your legs. Corey holds you like you're the last temptation, and he knows without a doubt that he'll never, ever be saved.

Corey leans against the trunk while he smokes (if he does it in the car, his momma is sure to know, he claims), his face rosy in the cherry red glow of his cigarette. His jeans, unbuttoned and a size too big for him anyway, hang low on his hips.

He smokes all the way down to the filter before flicking the butt away, the ember burning bright for just a second before it goes out against the dirt.

Later, when you drive home, you'll roll all the windows down.

[nomoreusername]

You're My Home (Part 1)

Pairing:Teresa x female reader

Summary:Just as you think you're done with everyone, you meet a girl who shows you the world doesn't have to be all bad.

You're one of the head doctors at WCKD. While you weren't well liked, you were highly respected, something you found much more useful. You were constantly there, working to find a cure for the disease that had stolen your family from you. Hence, why you were the way you are.

Cold. You were completely cold and closed off from everyone. So much so that you would get called heartless. However, you just knew if you let someone in they would find a way to leave so you just didn't. You locked every single person out of your mind and heart. You focused on the cure and the cure alone. The thing that could have saved your family which would have saved you.

On one of her first days there, Teresa heard people talking about the moody Y/N. While she pushed it out of her mind at first, she couldn't help but wonder why your name kept coming up in conversations for days after. She had never met you, or even seen you, but you wouldn't leave her mind. No matter how badly she wanted you to, you always popped into her life somehow. Even without physically being there.

One day she was just looking at a new formula she put together when she heard arguing. Glancing up, she saw a girl snapping at someone who was asking her a million questions. While she couldn't hear them, she could tell the girl was obviously done with whatever this was about.

"Go ask someone who cares!"She finally yelled, storming into the room that was supposed to have nobody in it. Slamming the door shut, she stared out the one sided glass before closing her eyes and wiping her tears with her lab jacket sleeve.

“Are you okay?”Teresa asked hesitantly, startling the girl. Quickly turning around, she stared at her as Teresa read her name tag.

Y/N

This was the one everyone had so much dislike for? The one crying in front of here where she thought nobody would see? The one close to breaking down after practically being chased?

“Sorry. I didn't know you were here,”You apologize, wiping more of your tears.

“It's fine. You just needed somewhere to be,”She assured you.

“Still, I just, I didn't mean to barge in when you're working. Work is important and all. It's uh, it's all I do. It's all I can do since I lost . . . them,”You trailed off.

“I’m really sorry for who you lost,”She said softly.

“Thanks,”You mumble. “I’ve um, I’ve heard about you. People have a lot of good things to say about you.”

“I’ve heard of you too. It was just . . . “She stops.

“Bad,”You finish.

“Yeah. It's a lot different than you actually are.”

“How do you know that? You’ve barely just met me.”

“Well, I’m sure I’d be upset if someone kept following me when I said stop too.”

“You’d probably be nicer though. You seem nice.”

“Sometimes. I’m still only human though. Just like you,”She shrugs, giving you a smile that you unconsciously find yourself returning.

“Your necklace is pretty,”You compliment. Looking down at the gold jewelry on her neck, she smiles as she takes it in her hands. Pulling it off, she hands it to you.

“I don't need it. I was just telling you it looked nice,”You said quickly.

“I know, but it seems like it's been a while since someone's given you something,”She smiles.

“Are you sure?”You check.

“I wouldn't give it to you if I wasn't,”She shrugs again. Putting it over your neck, you struggle with it for a moment until she steps behind you. Taking the chain, she clips it around your neck. While it should hit you that she was the closest to you anyone had been in years, you couldn't help but feel as though this was natural.

“Thank you. This really is the nicest thing someone's done for me in I don't even know how long,”You admit, holding the charm between your fingers.

“It suits you,”She points out, making your heart flutter in your chest.

“Would you like to come over tonight? I’m not really doing anything, but we could just have takeout?”You suggest, already prepared for the rejection but giving in to the idea that just maybe someone would understand you.

“Yeah. That sounds really nice,”She agrees.

“Great. I’ll meet you outside of work in two hours?”

“Looking forward to it,”She smiles. Managing to return one again, you then both just stand there, feeling something different than you ever had before.

Stronger than Teresa even had for Thomas.

Something that might fix the broken pieces you both hid.

[yourstrulylordi]

Dear Kathryn Hahn,

I’m writing to you because everything is your fault.

Ever since I got married to my beautiful wife I haven’t had a crush on anyone else. I suppose the only celebrity crush I’ve had is Jennifer Beals as Bette Porter on The L Word but that’s okay because I’ve liked since way before I ever met my wife, so that never caused a problem.

Well now you came along with Agatha Harkness and my little autistic antennas go absolutely bonkers and HELLO! NEW HYPERFIXATION UNLOCKED! So yeah… this is all your fault. Probably Jac Schaeffer too, but I’ll leave her out of it for now.

For the last weeks I’ve been completely immersed in Agatha All Along, watching every week’s episode, analyzing scenes and clues, studying the characters, sharing ideas and theories with strangers on the internet. This TV show started to heal something inside of me, this isn’t a story about witches, this is a story about women, about life, about finding one’s power. I’ve been finding my own power, I’ve been finding my voice and I have been fighting my biggest fear, which is to be seen. I’ve been reaching out to people whom I love and miss but I didn’t feel worthy of their love. I’ve been meditating, working on my emotions and negative thoughts. Trying to focus on the positive.

I’ll tell you a bit about us.

My wife and I are autistic, we both battle depression and anxiety, she also has OCD, so we deal with a handful but we are a team. We love each other so much and we are each other’s biggest fans.

My wife, she’s so precious, she’s beautiful, smart, witty, creative, intuitive, loving, funny, kind, a fighter, and is willing to give a lot for the people that she loves. But she’s so fucking terrified of living, she’s so angry at the world. She’s scared of being herself, of being seen, of being rejected, of being left, of failing, sometimes I think she is also afraid of succeeding and being accepted. She’s mad at the world for all the time it has failed her, for how mean and heartless people have been to her and are to others, for how selfish we as a society have become, always pursuing our own agenda and completely ignoring the well being of others and our planet, she’s mad because she’s also often misunderstood and made to be the “problem” (which also makes me mad), she’s always made to be too sensitive, too sick, too emotional.

She thinks she’s ugly and unattractive, but Kathryn… everyday I wake up and look at her I can’t believe how fucking lucky I am to be with her. We fought so incredibly hard for us to be together, I pretty much left everything behind and flew across the world to be by her side and I don’t regret it one bit. She’s my miracle. She gives me strength and hope and motivates me to want to get better and healthy and want to see the good things she sees in me.

So back to our problem… Agatha All Along. The real problem arose when I developed a celebrity crush on you… or on Agatha? I don’t know. My wife’s had a fair amount of boy crushes, the current one is basically present in our everyday life, we bought his vynils, I bought her a sweatshirt and a t-shirt from his merch, we have a poster of him on our bedroom wall, we watched livestreams of his performances all summer long, watched interviews, documentaries, I’ve learned all conspiracy theories about him, and I now find myself listening to his music on my own. At first I felt so hurt and jealous, like I wasn’t enough for my wife, I felt like she would leave me for a man similar to the crush, I felt like I wasn’t giving her what she needed so she had to seek for it elsewhere. But I knew deep down those were my own insecurities, I knew she loved me, I knew she makes a choice everyday to be with me, so I worked through the feelings and thoughts. I talked to her about how it made me feel, I cried, she cried, she promised she would stop liking him, I begged her not to because I knew it gave her a break from pain and obsessive thoughts and depression and anxiety and all her demons. She felt ashamed because she shouldn’t obsess about things like that, she’s 31, she should grow up. I don’t think so, I think it’s beautiful the childlike energy and passion she gives her interests and hobbies.

I know myself, as an autistic woman, that the way we experience life is different, we feel so deeply, when we like something it becomes a deep part of our personality, when we’re happy we feel endless and powerful, when we’re in pain we feel the deepest darkness within us to the point we think it might kill us. I love her autistic joy and I love mine. I don’t want her to repress any part of herself just because of my own traumas and insecurities. I want to work through them, because she’s not doing it to hurt me, she’s just enjoying life to the best of her abilities.

I know that all what I was thinking and feeling… she probably thinks it about herself. She thinks there’s something wrong with her, that she’s the reason why I am so obsessed with this fictional character, that she’s not enough, that I’ll leave her for a woman that fits the image of Agatha Harkness.

Dear Kathryn Hahn, you’re beautiful and charismatic, but even if you knocked on my door on that fabulous outfit that Agatha wears when summoning the road on episode two and offered to take me, marry me, give me the world…. I’d ask for a picture and then close the door and go back to the arms of my beautiful wife.

I want her to know that, I want her to understand why I love Agatha so much, why I’m so passionate about this show. It isn’t about how hot you are or wanting to cheat on my wife. It’s about the story, it’s about Agatha and her relationships and losses, how she coped different than me with abuse and became a selfish asshole. I became an asshole to myself, I have spent years insulting myself, punishing myself, telling myself I’m bad and ugly and stupid and unworthy. I’m fascinated by the two polar opposites, I see what could’ve become of me. I don’t like who Agatha became and I don’t like who I became either. I want to find the light and power inside of me, I want to let myself be seen, be heard, be loved. I want to give the world a chance before it’s too late, cause after all Death does come for as all.

I want that life and I want my wife to have it too. I want her so badly to see how amazing she is, she doesn’t let herself be seen either, she masks as the person “she’s supposed to be”, and that’s so exhausting, I know it from experience. I want her to be unapologetically herself, I want her to say what she needs and wants, I want her to be loud, to say no, to try new things and enjoy failing, falling, and trying again. I want her to let herself shine because she’s my light, she saved me and she keeps saving me every fucking day.

I’m struggling because even though I know and understand how she feels… I know rationally that her feelings and my feelings are valid, that I didn’t intentionally hurt her and I am trying my best to be the best wife…. I feel like a piece of shit, I feel like I’m the biggest asshole, I feel like I should punish myself, throw away my AAA hoodie, cancel Disney+, self harm, do things that aren’t good for me, I want to hurt myself, I want to break me for hurting her.

I feel the same way she felt about her interest… embarrassed and like I should grow up and not like things so deeply.

I feel so undeserving of the tiny beautiful things. Depression is so crippling and debilitating… If I have to fight so hard for every breath of air am I deserving at all? Maybe I should just give up. But I know that’s not the solution.

Dear Kathryn Hahn, I know non of this is your fault. I know you haven’t done anything wrong at all, but it’s easier to blame you because you’ll never read this and it means it isn’t my fault.

Dear Kathryn Hahn… why?

Yours truly,

Lordi

[shadowsxgwynriel]

Mistaken Identity

Day 1: Meet Cute 🥰 @sjmromanceweek

Gwyn tries to help Nesta breakup with a clingy guy, but Gwyn accidentally dumps the wrong man.

Ship: Gwyn and Azriel 💕

Word Count: 1,822

Read on AO3

“So, let me get this straight,” Gwyn said. “You want me to go and dump some guy for you? One that I haven’t even met or knew you were dating?”

“Pretty much,” Nesta confirmed.

“And why can’t you do it?”

“I tried!” Nesta insisted. “But Dave keeps crying and hyperventilating every time I mention the word breakup. One time, he even got on the ground and begged me not to leave him. In public. Do you know how many people were staring at me like I was a heartless bitch?”

Gwyn winced in sympathy.

“And when I tried to text him that we were over, he just ignored it! I don’t know what else to do. We’ve only been dating for two weeks, so I don’t know why he’s acting like this. I mean, most of the time I forgot he even existed!”

Well that explained why Gwyn had never heard of him until now.

”Maybe he’ll miss the sex?”

“Ha! We haven’t even had sex!”

Gwyn frowned. “Really? What about other things?”

She snorted. “We barely even kissed. It’s like I’m a toy that he wants to look at, but doesn’t want to play with.”

“What happened to your no relationship rule?”

“He put me on the spot. I said yes without thinking. But he’s not . . . he’s just not my type.” Gwyn had a feeling that she was about to say he wasn’t Cassian. She wondered how long Nesta would deny her feelings for him. “I really want to be single again, so will you help me out? Please?”

“Fine,” Gwyn said with a sigh. “I’ll breakup with him for you.”

~~~

Gwyn looked around at all of the cubicles. She normally wouldn’t show up at anyone’s place of work, but she figured that he couldn’t possibly make a scene around his colleagues.

“Excuse me, could you tell me where Dave’s desk is?” Gwyn asked a balding man.

He looked away from his computer with a tired face, reminding Gwyn of a zombie. His eyes squinted as if he wasn’t used to human interactions. “Who?”

“Uh, Dave?” She didn’t know his last name, but surely he had to know who he was, right? There couldn’t be that many people who worked in the building with the name Dave.

“Oh. Him. His desk is right next to the water cooler.” Without another word, he went back to typing on his computer.

Okay then.

She found the water cooler and came to a halt. That’s because the man standing at the desk was absolutely stunning.

He was wearing an all black suit and had his dark hair slicked back, though a few strands were out of place, like maybe he had a habit of running his hand through it. His face was polished and classically beautiful, and he had golden-brown skin with piercing hazel eyes. No man had the right to be that perfect.

What was she doing? She was here to dump him for Nesta, not ogle him.

He was busy looking over a file of some kind, so he hadn’t noticed her yet. Gwyn took a deep breath to steel herself, then she approached him.

Though she almost reached his shoulders, she still had to tilt her head just to look up at him. Gwyn tried not to blush as he gazed down at her. She tried even harder not to wonder if he liked what he saw—coppery-brown hair, big teal eyes, freckles. It shouldn’t matter to her what he thought.

“Hey, so, I’m very sorry to be the one to tell you this, but . . . Nesta doesn’t want to be with you anymore,” Gwyn told him in a kind yet strong voice.

He opened his mouth to say something, but she held up a hand and shushed him. His eyebrows shot up in surprise, like this was the first time anyone had ever silenced him.

“No, no. There’s no need for you to speak, Dave.“ She placed her hand on his muscular arm—and okay, maybe her touch lingered for longer than necessary. “It’s best if you don’t try to contact Nesta anymore. In fact, it’s probably better if you just delete her number.”

His lips twitched and Gwyn figured it was time to leave. She didn’t want to risk him causing a scene.

“I’m sorry that things didn’t work out between the two of you, but I’m sure that you’ll find someone who is perfect for you.” She gave him a sympathetic smile before turning to leave.

That hadn’t been so bad. It was actually pretty easy.

Gwyn stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for the lobby. The doors were in the process of closing when a hand suddenly stopped them. Her eyes widened when Dave joined her inside the elevator.

It was just the two of them, so admittedly she was a little concerned.

Gwyn cleared her throat. “If you try anything, just know that I have a black belt in karate.” That was a lie, of course, but she didn’t have to know karate to kick him in the balls.

He ignored her and reached out to press the emergency stop button. Her jaw dropped. There was no way he actually just did that. Just how crazy was this Dave guy?

“Are you serious?” Gwyn questioned him. “You and Nesta went out for two weeks! Don’t you think you’re overreacting? I mean, why can’t you just get broken up with like a normal person?”

“I think there’s been some confusion,” he said, leaning against the wall like he wasn’t completely batshit. Also, how dare he have a deep and sexy voice when he was holding her hostage?

“And what confusion would that be?”

“I’m not Dave.”

Gwyn laughed nervously. “What? Of course you are . . .”

“Afraid not.”

“But you were at his desk!”

“I was looking something over.” She recalled that he had been looking at a file when she approached him.

“So then . . .” Gwyn was almost scared to ask. “Who are you?”

The man—not Dave—smirked. “Azriel. And you are?”

“Gwyneth,” she mumbled. “Look, I’m sorry about, you know, mistaking you for someone else.” She bit her bottom lip nervously. “Um, can you start the elevator now?”

He eyed her long enough for her cheeks to heat. She had to fight the urge to squirm under his keen gaze.

Finally, he nodded. “Sure,” he said, restarting the elevator.

She frowned as something occurred to her. “Aren’t you worried you’ll get in trouble?”

Azriel outright laughed. “I don’t think I’ll have anything to worry about.”

Cocky bastard.

But as it turned out, he was right. Nobody said anything to him when the doors opened, despite the long line of people waiting to get on the elevator.

“There’s Dave over there,” Azriel told her, pointing at a man who just entered the building.

Gwyn squinted. Dave wasn’t Nesta’s type at all. She was honestly surprised that he even managed to get a date in the first place. It wasn’t that he was unattractive, but he just looked so mundane.

“Great, guess I can dump him after all.”

She left Azriel standing there and caught up to Dave as he was signing in at the desk.

“Dave?” Gwyn asked. She would double check, just to be sure this time.

“Yes?” he said cautiously. “Do I know you?”

“Not really. I’m a friend of Nesta’s.”

His eyes brightened. “I can’t believe I actually get to meet one of Nesta’s friends.”

“Yeah, just listen,” Gwyn said. Unfortunately for Dave, she had used all of her patience on the accidental breakup with Azriel. “Nesta doesn’t want to see you anymore.”

His face dropped. “Wh-what? But she can’t! We were just starting to become a serious couple!”

Okay, so clearly this guy was delusional. And he was starting to draw attention to them.

“Mr. Winston, if a woman sends her friend to breakup with you, then shouldn’t that tell you something?“ Azriel interjected.

Gwyn jumped. She was too busy dealing with Dave, that she hadn’t even realized he had followed her.

Dave paled, and started to fidget nervously. “S-sir!”

“Sir?” Gwyn whispered in confusion.

But Azriel had heard her. He smiled at her. “Did I perhaps forget to mention that I was the CEO?”

She stared at him in disbelief, mouth agape. “CEO?”

He nodded, amusement clear in his eyes. Well, she was glad that he seemed to find levity in the whole situation, because she was completely embarrassed.

“Why are you still here?” Azriel asked.

Her cheeks heated. “I-“

“Not you, Gwyneth. I meant you, Mr. Winston. Why are you still here when you should be upstairs working?”

“Oh, yes, of course. I’ll go right away, sir!” Dave started to rush off.

“Oh, and Mr. Winston?” Azriel called, stopping him. “Don’t contact this Nesta woman again. She’s obviously not interested, so leave her alone. Do you understand?” His tone was full of authority, making her shiver at the sound of it.

Dave turned bright red. “I-I understand. I won’t contact her anymore.”

“Good. You can go now,” Azriel told him, and Dave took off like the floor was on fire.

While he wasn’t looking, Gwyn slowly inched her way to the main door.

“Leaving so soon, Gwyneth?”

She sighed, figuring that maybe he wanted another apology. “Just Gwyn is fine. And once again, I’m really sorry for earlier.”

“I like Gwyneth. It’s a beautiful name,” Azriel said.

“Uh, thanks.”

“Can I walk you to your car?”

“I don’t have a car.”

He frowned. “Then how did you get here?“

“I took the bus.”

Azriel looked at his watch. “I have a meeting in thirty minutes. I’ll have my driver take you home.”

“Thank you, but that’s really not necessary.”

“Okay, I’ll admit that my intentions are purely selfish.”

Gwyn raised an eyebrow. “How’s that?”

“I want to take you out on a date,” he informed her causally. “And in order to do that, I need to make sure that you get home safely.”

Wait a second. “Did you just say you want to take me out on a date?”

“I did.”

“But why?”

Azriel smiled. “What can I say? You had me hooked from the moment you opened your mouth.”

Gwyn couldn’t help but return the smile. “Well . . . I guess maybe it would be nice to get a ride home. If you’re sure it won’t be too much trouble?”

“Of course not. And how about that date?”

This wasn’t how Gwyn pictured her day going, but she certainly wasn’t about to complain. Nor was she going to turn down a date with a very attractive man.

“Does tomorrow work for you?” she asked him.

“Just one sec.” Azriel pulled out his phone and typed something, presumably a text or email. “My schedule just cleared up,” he told her.

“Then, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

His eyes gleamed with something that made her pulse race. “I look forward to tomorrow, Gwyneth.”

[lunareclipses-moments]

Lonely place

Part 2 of the greek gods AU

Truly to her words the young godness came back to meet the stranger man she meet

"You came ?"

"That's what she said " he replied holding back his laughter to the point where tears were forming in his eyes

"Really I can't believe how unmature you are" despite her harsh words she a tiny little smile was beginning to form on her face

"Don't deny it , you found it funny "

"No I didn't "

"Then why are you smiling " he asked her with a smug on his face

"Fine it was little funny , but for real I am glad that you came "

taken back from her words his smug face started breaking down and a small rosy blush was starting to decorate his pale cheeks and the tips of his flame like hair

"What ? But we just met like once how could you trust someone like that? Are you this naive or just plain stupid? " he was starting to get angry and concern, angry at himself because what is someone else approached her when he was away and concerne for her due to her innocent soul

"But you aren't a stranger, you have been watching me for sometime now " she told him in gentle voice

"What? How did you know?" Disbelief was written all over his face now his chances of knowing more of the beautiful goodness was blown away now

"The flowers told me about you and how gentle you were while watching them whenever I am not around, surely at first I was skeptical of you but after sometime I realized you didn't want any harm , so I just when along with the flow "

"You really know how to use your magic huh " the amount of relief he felt after hearing her words were unimaginable

"I sure do, but they never told me your name "

But all she got was silent , she sat on the Grass while tapping the spot beside her signaling to him to sit with her, and he sat with her their shouls where touched each other feeling the light breeze over their skin they felt into comfort silent until he decided to speak

" You will leave and never talk to me again if I did " his voice was low and almost sad filled with loneliness

"why are you sure about that "

"Because that's what everyone did "

"I wouldn't leave ! I pinky promise you that I will never leave you hopeless and miserable man "

" I am not hopeless and miserable I am cool and mysterious and also who the he'll still uses pinky promises what are you Five ?!"he asked in the most disbeliefed and angry tone he could master and his head was starting to turn red from anger

" Fine, you want my name, I am the heartless God that ruled over the underworld ifia shroud "he turned to look at her expecting her to hate him to look at him with hate and disgust but he met something else that ,made him fall harder for her , her orbs shining with wonder and curiosity

"I knew it ! Your hair changes paced on your emotions " she screamed the words to his face making back away and he realized how close the were

" m my hair ¿!?!. IS THAT THR ONLY THIHG YOU CARE ABOUT YOU CRAZY WOMAN"

"CRAZY WHO ARE YOU CALLING CRAZY YOU WAKLING CAMP FIRE " and in no time the wre both throwing insults at each other until they finally calmed down

" so you aren't afraid of me,?" he was still in disbelief

" do you really think if I would be afraid of you I would be here throwing insults at you "

"Probably not " he shrugged his shoulder

"But to be honest, I thought you would be more scary not some lanky tall pale guy who has social anxiety and probably screams when he see a buy "

" What did you just say "realizing how stupid she was to insult the GOD OF THE FUCKING UNDERWORLD she decided to run for her life and he is following her their screams and laughs filling the empty flower field and that's how their new friendship started to bloom

Everyday they would meet together sometimes the boy would bring his younger brother with him and he would start regretting it after his brother tells her something embarrassing about him but that's okay his two favorite people are bonding together he could wish for anything better than it

And years after years he finally gathered enough courage to confess his love to her but she didn't came that day or the day after it for a whole month the woman he loved didn't show up and his concern for her was increasing each second he can't see her but his thoughts and heart stopped after hearing the news about her wedding he felt anger betrayal and heart broken

" idia she is forced into it _" his younger brother was trying to make him listen but he wasn't he was to stubborn to believe that

"And how do you know it " he replied angry tears falling down his face now

The younger brother who had enough of his brother bullshit decided to finally free his arms from his brother love life

"I love you idia but you are genuinely stupid because the woman was literally all over you , she flirted, braided your hair, made you matching flower crown and SHE HAS BEEN EATING POMEGRANATES WITH YOU EVERY SINGLE DAY "

" But_ "no buts go safe the woman that loves you before its late Gooooo"

finally deciding to listen to his brother the sad weeping man stood up and ran like his life depends on it to find his the love of his life

"I don't get paid enough for this "

,meanwhile with the flower goodness who was still holding on hope that maybe someone will hear her prayers and safe her from this hell she is getting herself into ,, but maybe she already lost her hope she is slowly walking down the path of red roses to the man waiting for her he wasn't idia heck she doesn't even know him all she know is that her mother picked him up for her because he was perfect match for her

"OH gods from above and UNDER please her muy prayers and let the ground swallow me before I do a grave mistake to myself "that wax what she has been repeating over in her head for like an hour

and suddenly the floor underneath her creaked and she fell into a huge creak in the ground every thing felt like a blur she didn't even get to scream but she felt arms around her hugging her buddy in bridal style ,opening her eyes she saw her savior her knight in hoodie and pajamas pants puffy red eyes grinning down at her like a mad man

" hehe mission success "

She wanted to slap him but instead she kissed him and Hard , separating her lips from him and resting her forhead on top of his ,she wanted to scold him to shout at him for being late to be angry at him but she couldn't after all she loved him the only thing she said was

"I love you so darn much "

"I love you more "

[baelpenrose]

Project Praetorian 53: Those Left Behind

Amaryllis and Shiloh deal with what happened to Dante. Beta read by @canyouhearthelight and @writing-with-olive.

Amaryllis 

She was still staring at the wall. Dante’s chain was clipped to her belt. She’d scrubbed the gore off it. After…she hadn’t been allowed to keep anything of him, even if she had wanted to, to keep some part of him with her. 

So she’d clipped his chain to her uniform and stared off. She looked up as a set of soft footsteps approached. The young redhead - Molly? Molly, right. She was approaching and seemed nervous. “Amaryllis, right?”

Amaryllis glanced up. Molly had always seemed anxious around her, and the big cross around her neck had seemed a big warning, but Dante had always pointed out the way Molly had looked at Kimmy. The last thing Amaryllis wanted to do was help someone else out of the closet right now, but…

“I’m sorry about your boyfriend. That had to be hard. He seemed…brave.” 

Amaryllis froze. “He…was.” She felt her throat closing. “He was so brave and I only got to know him for a few months and…I hate that he’s gone. I hate that he’s dead and I’ll never see him again.” The thought brought a wave of grief to her, that simple heartless reality that Dante’s kindness, that arrogant head-tilt with which he’d brace any new Imperator bullshit to give anyone else the nerve to stand up to it, the way he’d pay attention to her, the way he coughed and tried to hide it, that shy smile he had when…

She shoved the tears out of her eyes. “Why are you asking? You never seemed like the type to be interested in a relationship like ours.” There was a bitterness. Something she shouldn’t be saying, something Molly didn’t really deserve. 

Molly took a breath, and looked down, flushing. “I…wanted to say I was sorry. For…always looking away. And…how it ended.” Something seemed to weigh in her head. “And ask what it was like.” Amaryllis almost slapped her before she continued, “Having someone, I mean. Telling them. Before it was too late.” 

That brought Amaryllis up short. “Kimmy’s still alive.” She regretted it almost the minute she said it, Molly clammed up, and Amaryllis felt bitter. Was Molly trying to probe her, asking if it was worth it to…? “Yes, it is worth it. Come out of the…”

“I wasn’t talking about Kimmy. There was…there was someone else. Before I was recruited. I…was the sole civilian survivor of the Praetorians’ first contact with the Ascendancy. That was how I was recruited. My whole family was there. So was…someone else. She…she and I…” Molly blinked. 

Amaryllis blinked, then started crying again. “Oh fuck. You loved her or she loved you. Never told each other. And now you wonder all the time, right?” She regretted the bitter edge to her words. “I’m not mocking, swear to god. I…that’s rough.” 

Molly paused. “I…don’t know exactly if I was in love with her. But yeah. She and I were trapped in a shed with one of the Croaks. We bolted opposite directions. Coin flip. One of us would make it, right? I got lucky. She didn’t.” Molly looked at the ceiling. “I try every day to convince myself that God didn’t make the wrong choice with that one, and I feel guilty for doubting, but I…I don’t know.”

Amaryllis reached out. “Dante was a great guy. You’d have loved him. He saw how you and Kimmy looked at each other. Kept kissing me in front of you. Wanted you to see it was okay.” She tried to smile. “That there was some kind of hope in this hell. For someone to be happy. Looks like it isn’t going to be me.” 

Molly hugged her. “You still deserve it. Dante wouldn’t…have wanted you to give up, right?” 

Amaryllis felt her stomach drop. No, he wouldn’t. But she’d been close before they’d met, and now…She took a breath. “Stay with me for a minute. Swap stories for a bit. I’ll tell you about Dante. You tell me about your…friend.”

***

Shiloh

Jonathan didn’t quite understand the horror of it, even as he tried to comfort them. He might struggle to, they supposed - the only thing he feared was someone else taking a blast meant for him, because inherently he could survive. Shiloh would always be there to heal him, and for a moment Shiloh’s mind blanked at the horrible thought of what would ever happen if he gambled on that assumption the way Dante had the day the aliens came out with a gun big enough to kill him rather than just wounding him. 

But no, Jonathan wouldn’t die, not unless they hit him with something meant to take down starships, and he finally signed. “It wasn’t your fault, Shys. You’re the reason he got to keep going as long as he did. The reason Verg wasn’t hurt, the reason I kept going, the reason the Reserve didn’t collapse once they started moving, the reason the flankers were okay once they came back around…”

Shiloh didn’t feel reassured. Yeah, they could heal, sure, but…Dante had died for them. They’d had his blood all over them - it had covered them after…

Amaryllis had been staring at them after they’d been picked up. Covered in her lover’s blood. Shiloh had looked and felt like a murderer. Dante had probably made the assumption that Shiloh could fix anything, didn’t realize what he was jumping in front of. Shiloh had let him believe that and…

“Jonathan,” Shiloh signed. “He didn’t even know what he was doing. He died for me assuming I could save him.”

“He died a hero saving you. That isn’t your fault. Maybe he was like Mark or Xavier and did all the math in less than a second and figured it was better to keep the healer alive even if he didn’t make it. Maybe he just made a mistake or did something brave. Maybe he didn’t know why he did it. Maybe he thought you could fix him. You don’t know.” 

“Yes no.” They signed back, frantically, in extremely abbreviated fashion. “Everyone know fix. Can’t fix. Fix you yes. Fix everyone no.” 

Jonathan paused. “Shiloh. Are you saying that you’re scared because I’m the only one you can actually…save, if I take a direct hit?”

They nodded. 

Jonathan understood them, thank God, even if no one else would in this state. 

“Shiloh. Yeah. It’s scary. It’s bad. We’re gonna get unlucky. Hopefully I’m the only one taking direct hits, ever. Hopefully everyone else is just getting scorched at the edges where you can fix it. But everyone knows you have limits. No one thinks you don’t. No one thinks you can actually bring us back from the dead - and all of us can look at what those things do if it hits anyone but me and say, “yeah, that’d kill a person instantly.” 

“Hope Dante no.” The signs were still far more basic than their usual. Hope didn’t keep Dante from taking a direct hit.

“No, yeah, Dante got unlucky. That isn’t your fault, even if you were close by enough that you thought it was.” Jonathan sighed. 

���Brave. Stupid brave.” 

“Yeah.” Shiloh was slowly recovering. Why that one? They’d liked him in the short time they’d talked. 

“I was glad he was with us. I think he was the only thing I’ve ever seen that could have killed me. That weapon he used, I mean. It was kinda terrifying. Kinda reassuring too, though. That there was an option if…” he trailed off. 

Shiloh managed to snort at the first part, then punched his arm, hard, on the second. “No. No you don’t. No dying.”

Jonathan glanced at them. “I miss it when you’d punch me and I’d feel it.” 

Shiloh responded with one of the few ASL gestures that had become truly universal, and ground out, verbally. “No dying.” 

“I wasn’t planning to.” Their brother said. “Was something I was worried about with the blackout tempers. It happened again when I was fighting that last invisible asshole. Oh, actually, I don’t really know who to talk to about survivor’s guilt but you know who you might be able to talk to about it?”

“Who?”

“Molly. Didn’t you say you found her covered in what was left of some other girl?”

Shiloh paused, remembering when they’d first patched Molly’s burns in the brutal hour after first contact, how she’d been covered in blood, the tiny scraps of charred meat in the room with her…

“Yeah….”

Molly

“Wait, so you and your friend were a band camp story? That is such a cliche, Molly.” 

“I don’t even know the cliches! And no, we met in school, in orchestra, but we were in a lot of different music stuff together, and…”

“Then you went to band camp.”

“Tanglewood isn’t a band camp! It’s a music camp for some of the brightest musicians on the east coast!” She paused. “Well. It was. The war…kinda ruined that.”

Amaryllis had frozen. “Wait. The music camp…You were at Tanglewood? I saw that on the news, but…I found out it was an alien attack when I got conscripted, I didn’t know you’d been…that’s where you’d been picked up.”

Molly gave a sad little bow. “Sole survivor, Tanglewood Orchestra, 2032. I was part of the last performance ever given there. So was Annette.” 

“Annette - that was your crush? So it was a girl! And you never…Oh, shit.”

“Yeah, no. You know what the worst part was?” Molly said, finally finding the rage that had hidden the whole time, deep in her chest. “My parents were great. They were super supportive of her. And of me. They took us out for lunch or ice cream after every performance. Celebrated when we took home a Superior - it’s a…it’s like the First Prize for band comps -” she added, in a lame parenthetical, “And told us they were still proud when we didn’t. But no.” 

She’d heard what Amaryllis’s parents had done, kicked her out, and were somehow, still alive and safe from this shit. “You know who never showed up to any of their kid’s shows? Borderline neglected her? Annette’s parents.” Had heard about Dante’s parents sending him to this hell, and they were somehow safe from this nightmare. “And you know what pisses me off? Because I know you had a rough time with your parents, Amaryllis, but mine were amazing and everything that made them amazing is the thing that got them KILLED THE DAY THAT ALIENS CAME OUT OF THE SKY AND TURNED MY LIFE INTO A WAR STORY FROM HELL.” Mark and Casey and Xavier’s parents were good, and were also under Imperator’s guns without even knowing it and thought their kids were dead. 

“But Annette’s parents? No. Everything terrible and shitty about them? They probably decided to stay home and watch something else the day their daughter died in something they still think was a GOD DAMN GAS EXPLOSION because they get to still be alive BECAUSE they were awful, so they missed it when the aliens crashed the performance and decided it needed a plasma light show.” 

Amaryllis whistled. “Fuck. That. Hey. Next time we go out. I have rocket pods, I have chainguns. Want to do a little flyby on those assholes? Or maybe my folks? Dante’s? If anyone asks, we can say we saw alien scouts and I missed.” 

Shiloh had walked in, and signed. “What the hell are you two talking about?”

Amaryllis turned, and signed back - Molly had forgotten she could do that. “Framing Annette’s parents for a meth explosion. Or Dante’s. Or mine. Air-fired ordinance. We actually haven’t picked our target, and we’re workshopping details.” 

“Can we add mine to the list?” Shiloh sat down. “Also, Annette…Molly. That was…that was the friend we found in the shed with you, at the camp…”

Molly winced, and nodded. “Yeah. We were both hiding when that Croak came in, and we realized if we sprinted in opposite directions, it might be confused and hit no one. Or it could only hit one of us. It hit her. Then Vergil hit it - you guys had gotten there a few seconds earlier.” 

Shiloh winced. “That’s…fuck. That’s bad. So…why do we want her parents?”

“They survived by being neglectful assholes who couldn’t show up, where the ginger-ex-closet-case here became an orphan because hers were actually decent and supportive.” 

“Hey!”

“Don’t even pretend. Everyone’s seen how you look at Kimmy.”

Molly blinked, feeling a panic rise in her chest. “What do you mean, Kimmy? Is…”

“It is very much that obvious.” 

Molly paused. “Hey. Wait a sec, I just realized. Vergil sees everything through the scope. Annette dying, Dante dying, pretty much all the wounds any of us get, every close call, every alien skull exploding, and isn’t he one of the very few of us who’s killed an actual human person? Shouldn’t he be getting extra help?” 

Shiloh blinked. “Yeah, he can also hear it. The nightmares we forget. He forgets some of them, probably. I’ll…talk to Leon. But also, you aren’t getting out of this. You look at Kimmy the way she looks at a newbie feast. It is obvious. And she doesn’t seem to mind, though from the way she looks at our skinny sniper I’d bet the gymnast is good with her bars being even or uneven, if you catch my drift.”

Molly blinked. “Ah.”

Amaryllis set the chain on the small table. “Can I suggest something? Whenever we decide to make our dress uniforms, whatever goes into it. I want there to be a decorative silver chain included in the design.”

Molly nodded. “And…I heard from Curtis that military units traditionally have a parade theme. I know we deploy to modern music, but…I want to have a flute solo in the Praetorian one. I know I’m a violinist, primarily, but if Taps has a trumpet because of that story…I think I can put a flute in ours because it was Annette’s favorite instrument to play.” 

That felt solid. That felt like a good tribute. If they were going to build something of this team, a tribute to those lost to make them who they were would be a way of marking what they became.